2 comments/ 112886 views/ 3 favorites Jessica Ann Ch. 01 By: smj54ap Chapter 1, My Summer of Firsts Janelle was helping me pack up the remaining items in the apartment when she came across a photo of me, my sister Amy and our friend Allison. I gazed at the photo and fondly remembered the events of nine years ago. We were standing with our arms around each other in front of the swimming pool in my backyard. But, it was Amy's grinning face that brought tears to my eyes; I sorely missed her. Janelle saw my eyes were edged with tears and gave me a reassuring hug. My Dad appeared in the doorway and I turned away so he wouldn't see my eyes. With my face downcast, I embraced him but my Dad gently lifted my chin with his hand and saw the tears. "Why are you crying?" he asked with parental worry and I showed him the picture. My Father was not a sentimental person but the sight of Amy in the photo caused him to sob out loud. I held him tightly and cried along with him. As my Father was taking some boxes to the truck, I sat in one of the remaining chairs and recalled the life changing events that preceded the photo. In my mind, I saw the snow covered trails of Vail Mountain and... ONE: Amy's skis kicked up a mini snow storm with every turn as I followed my sister down the intermediate terrain on Vail's Back Bowl area. A powdery blanket of new snow covered the slopes and our early arrival meant that crowds were temporarily at a minimum. By 11am the fresh snow was trampled by endless ski tracks and Amy wanted to warm up in the lodge. After several hot chocolates, I wanted to tackle a black diamond trail off the summit. "I'll stick to intermediate trails." Amy stated firmly. "Please Amy" I begged in a little girl voice and she regarded me with a sour expression. "Ok" she sighed with the resignation of an older and wiser sister. As we sat on the chair lift on our way to the summit, Amy voiced her concern and emphatically reminded me to traverse across the mountain in long "S" loop turns to keep my speed in check. After we exited the chair lift, I kept a safe distance behind my sister as she conservatively skied over the nearly vertical terrain. But, less than half way down, I grew impatient with her "senior citizen" pace and skied ahead. I shortened my "S" turns and picked up speed but much faster than I was prepared to handle. As I hurtled faster down the mountain, I tried lengthening my turns but lost control and fell to avoid going off the trail. It seemed as though I was tumbling in slow motion and real time reestablished itself when I came to a stop. When I tried to move my right arm and leg, searing pain shot thru my body. I heard Amy screaming my name and saw her panic filled face when she stopped next to me. "Jessica! Are you alright! She yelled. "I think I broke something" I groaned. "Don't move! I'm going to find the Ski Patrol." She said in a loud and concern filled voice. I cried out in agony when the Patrol rolled me onto the sled/stretcher and strapped me in tight. Amy was sniffing and her eyes were brimming with tears. "Dad's gonna meet us at the medical center." She stated in a breaking voice. It was twelve noon on the first day of my long anticipated ski weekend over the Presidents Day holiday and my vacation was over. At the center, someone pushed a needle into my arm and my recollection of the next twenty four hours was hazy. I recall hearing voices and the words fracture and knee. When I woke, I saw my Dad's very worried looking face. "Hi Dad." I said in a light drug induced tone and he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. He described the extent of my injuries and it wasn't pretty. My right wrist was fractured and I sustained right knee ligament tears along with a right leg fracture. "You're going to be here for the next week, maybe more." He said sadly. My Father was explaining some of the procedures necessary to stabilize my leg, when I fell back to sleep. For the next two or three days, I was in and out of the conscious world. During that time, an operation to repair my knee and place pins in my leg was performed. Slowly I was weaned off the pain medication and my journey back to reality was filled with hurt. As my rehab therapy started, my first tentative steps were blindingly painful. Less than a week after my fall, my Father was sitting next to me in the hospital room and I was whimpering from the pain. But, he had that lecture look on his face. "Jessica Ann, what were you thinking!?" he questioned angrily. He always called me Jessica Ann when he was angry with me. "I'm sorry" I cried with sorrow and the tears came unrelentingly. However, the tears didn't soften his mood because he was well acquainted with my "crying apologies" during his reprimands. "You're swimming career is in jeopardy and may be over unless your leg responds to a rigorous rehabilitation schedule. He said with the same anger. Now I was weeping in earnest and he hugged me with a parent's unquestioning love. I was one of the best swimmers on my high school team and we were in first place at the end of the regular season. "You're sister is blaming herself for your injuries." He said strongly. "It was my fault Dad" I sobbed and saw Amy crying along with me. Amy hugged me with sisterly concern as I cried my heart out. Back home in California, my road to rehabilitation was long and arduous. Because I was in my senior year of high school, a school district tutor was assigned to me for six hours a day Monday thru Friday. However, two weeks later I was able to return to classroom instruction on crutches. I attended some of the meets but my teammates lost in the district quarter finals. I was angry and frustrated with myself for my stupid behavior on the slopes. My lack of good judgment probably cost my team a berth in the state finals. My senior year of high school was ending on a dramatic downbeat and I went dateless and on crutches to my senior prom. I was hoping to be crutch free by graduation and limped to the podium to accept my diploma. With my acceptance to State U. partially based on my swimming ability, I started my own rehab program at home. My father had a pool installed in our backyard when Amy was in 10th grade and it saw a lot of use over the years. I had floundered in school sports until I discovered I had some talent for swimming. By my senior year, our team was considered one of the top ten among California high schools. My eighteenth birthday on June 15th was very subdued and I really didn't feel like celebrating. With a few friends and family at my home, I solemnly blew out the candles on my cake. I spent the week swimming laps in the pool for two hours a day; one hour in the morning and one hour in the late afternoon. Initially my right leg and arm prickled with pain and I was forced to take leisurely but slow strokes. When I pulled my Speedo on after four months of swimming inactivity, it felt snug; too snug. When I looked at myself in the mirror, my lean and athletic body had softened and evolved into a curvier and more feminine look. My breasts looked fuller and more pointed. My legs still retained their muscular look but with slightly larger hips. But, the sight of the scars from the operations to my knee and leg bothered me a great deal. At first I was upset with the changes but realized I had experienced a growth spurt the past few months. One fact was certain, I looked a lot more grown up. With spirited resolve, I maintained my two hours a day swimming laps in the pool. My sister's friend Allison lived next door and periodically appeared for a swim or to chat with Amy. It was unusually hot for early summer and I started wearing a bikini bottom and no top for my pool laps. With our gated and high security fence, our pool was private. However, one afternoon my Dad caught me and he was livid. "Jessica Ann! Where is your top?" He yelled with an irate voice. Funny, but I failed to remember him ever calling Amy, Amy Elizabeth. I promised to wear my Speedo when I practiced laps. But, secretly I kept wearing only the bottoms for my morning practice because he left for work long before I started. One morning I was finishing my laps when I heard the back gate open. I swam to the side of the pool and saw Allison walking onto the pool deck. I waved and climbed up the pool ladder in front of her. With water dripping off my braless tits, I felt Allison's hot gaze as she looked me up and down. Although it made me feel uncomfortable, I was mildly fascinated by her reaction. I reached for my towel and wrapped it around my upper body. When I told Allison that Amy was working until noon, she made no attempt to leave. This went on for a week or better with her appearance during my topless morning swim. She would watch me until I finished and then talk idle chit chat for awhile. I was smart enough to know that Allison wanted something or she wouldn't be staring. I was inexperienced with sexual matters and except for kissing a few boys at parties, was a virgin from the neck down. My involvement and dedication with swimming occupied most of my time until I was injured. One morning I decided not to cover up and she brazenly gawked at my tits. I got a tingly and warm feeling in my pussy and after she left, I noticed my bottoms were damp. I knew about same sex hook ups on the swim team but never paid much attention to them. On my computer, I went to the internet looking for websites with lesbian content and my eyes were glued to the screen. The pictures of girls sucking each others tits and pussies had me squirming in my chair. Before I realized it, I was fingering my moist slit to orgasm. I found lesbian story websites and was intrigued by the ones dealing with seduction. After a few days of Allison ogling my breasts and surfing the lesbian porn sites, I was masturbating on a daily basis. I discovered one excitingly explicit site and while I was in the shower stroking myself like crazy, Amy came home from her part time job. She must have heard my moans and when I turned around, saw her looking at me thru the glass doors. "Having fun?" She questioned with a sly tone. I tried to cover up and Amy handed me a towel as I exited the shower. I was mortified but my sister asked me if I wanted to talk about it. When I was fourteen, we had the "Birds and the Bees" discussion several times until I knew by heart the concept and consequences of sex. When our Mom died seven years ago, she became a surrogate mother to me as well as big sister. Despite the three year age difference, she assumed the role with the same love, care and devotion. However, I was a mischievous kid until puberty reared its ugly head and I became a moody bitch. Thankfully, Amy was a compassionate person because I tested her patience on many an occasion. My Father was stern but forgiving, especially after my mothers death. When he caught me doing something naughty, he would loudly call me by my first and second name, Jessica Ann, then pronounce my sentence. With his anti corporeal punishment stance, I was grounded to my bedroom with the loss of computer privileges. I was blushing deep red from having been caught "red handed" in the shower and although I had been masturbating since the age of fifteen, it was usually an occasional, late night, and in bed affair. Amy had always stressed the importance of discussing anything and everything without fear of repercussions. Except for my Dad, Amy was the one person who I trusted implicitly. I hemmed and hawed for a few minutes then told her about Allison and the porn sites. "I don't really understand why another girl would be interested in my breasts." I said with total sincerity. Amy cleared her throat. "I think she's interested in your boobs and MORE." Amy stated knowingly. At first I was confused by her comment but when I remembered the explicit photos on the web, I was shocked. "You mean..." I said and pointed to my crotch at the same time. Although I had seen the pictures and read the stories, I never equated them with Allison's desire. "Oh, I'm sure she's interested." Amy said with conviction and explained how she had several bi encounters with Allison. My face must have registered total shock because Amy seemed amused by my reaction. "Why me? I asked in a searching tone of voice. "My dear sister, have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? You're a real hottie." She stated more than asked me. Amy told me that my latest growth spurt was probably my last but it worked wonders for my feminine look. My breasts had swelled to a 34 B/C and instead of the sparse hairs above my slit, I had a full dark blonde bush. I admitted to Amy that I enjoyed the websites and Allison's stares. "Does that make me a lezbo." I asked with trepidation. "Were you bi curious before this?" She questioned. "No, I was always so busy with swimming and practices, anyway, I think I like guys." I voiced with anxiety. "I don't believe you're a lezbo but you're bi curious for sure." Amy said with conviction. I must have looked overly concerned because Amy put her hands on my shoulders and gazed into my eyes. "The feelings you're experiencing have a way of sorting themselves out. I've had bi encounters with Allison and other women. I don't consider myself a lesbian but I'm clearly bi sexual." She stated in a reassuring voice. "I'm going to make some lunch. If you want to take care of 'unfinished business', I'll leave yours in the ice box." She remarked and walked out of the bathroom. Although I wanted to finish what I was doing in the shower, I couldn't help but feel incredibly naïve and wondered how many of my friends had similar experiences. I quickly dressed in a sports T and shorts. Amy's explanations had helped clear up some questions that were bothering me. While Amy mixed the tuna, mayo and celery in a bowl, I toasted some whole wheat bread. "Amy, what should I do about Allison?" I asked with unease. "That's entirely up to you but I don't think she'll need much prodding." She stated. The next morning as I was lying in bed, the images from the web and Allison's stares had my pussy creaming. Even though I was apprehensive, I wanted to experience the touch of another person. The problem was how to initiate the contact with Allison. I remembered a seduction story I read on the internet and set my plan in motion. I chose a bikini from last summer and the cloth on the top barely covered my nipples. When Allison showed up I was finishing my last lap. On cue, I climbed out of the pool and she scrutinized my boobs with a lustful look. When I put my bikini top on, her face carried a look of dismay. With as much acting skill as I could muster, I fussed with the bikini top. "This top doesn't feel right. I think it's too small. What do you think?" I remarked with fake distress and turned around for Allison's inspection. "Looks a little small to me." She said in a wavering voice and her eyes never left my tits. "I should probably measure my breasts before I buy a new bikini." I said with as much conviction as I could muster. "Would you help me Allison?" I asked with innocent pleading and she nodded her head in compliance with my request. Allison followed me into the kitchen where I retrieved the tape measure in a drawer. I was facing her when I reached around to unclasp the top and suddenly grabbed my shoulder in faux pain. "I think I strained it swimming laps today. Do you mind doing it?" I asked innocently and presented my back to her. Her hands must have been shaking because she was fumbling with the clasp. Finally I felt it release and as I turned to face her the top eased down my arms and off. My nipples were hardening and with her eyes glued to my chest, handed her the tape measure. Now I clearly saw Allison's hands were trembling and as I raised my arms, I put them on my head giving her unrestricted access. With her quaking hands, she managed to get the tape measure around my back and the ends in the front. Allison brought the ends together under my boobs and read the measurement. "34 inches." She stated in a wobbly voice. My nipples were as hard as bullets and jutted out from my chest. I ached for Allison's touch. "B or C cup?" I asked with my innocent voice. It was almost pitiable the way Allison was leering at my tits but I sensed that she was having an internal struggle with herself. After all, I was Amy's "little" sister. Luckily, her lust won out and as she cupped my breasts, she lightly thumbed the straining nips. The feeling was beyond description and as it ignited a fire in my loins, I thrust a hand into my bottoms. I was swept away on a rush of new feelings that coursed thru my body. My knees started to buckle and with Allison supporting me, sat in a chair. Allison knelt before me and palmed, tweaked and rolled my nipples until I was gasping. With my hand vigorously fingering my drooling gash, I watched entranced as she lowered her mouth to my tit. I groaned out loud as Allison relentlessly tongued my nipples and little shock waves of sensation pulsed into my pussy. When her mouth ravenously sucked my rigid nips, I thrust a finger into my sopping wet hole. As I panted in stormy blasts, my orgasm burst with intense force. I howled like a coyote and mashed my hand on my pulsating clit. Never in my young life had I experienced something so sexually charged. "OH! OH! Fuck! I screamed. As my breathing returned to normal, Allison gently kissed my nipples then got up and left. I was sprawled on the chair and must have looked like a disheveled mess. Later, I fingered myself to another dandy orgasm as I recalled my encounter with Allison. Naked as a jaybird, I fell on my bed and went to sleep. I woke to the sound of someone calling my name. Sleepily, I looked in the direction of the sound and saw Amy smiling at me. "Hi." I said in a dreamy voice. Amy was regarding me with amusement. "Dinner'll be ready soon." She stated "Ok, but do I have time to shower?" I asked drowsily. "Yes. By the way, what did you do today?" she asked in a humorous tone. I'm sure my face turned several shades of red and without my saying a word, she knew. In the shower, my body tingled with excitement as I remembered the way Allison tongued and sucked my breasts. I was hot to find out just how far she would go. Amy and I chattered away at dinner as my father ate in silence. By now he was used to our incessant babbling and added something if he thought it was necessary. As I was talking with Amy, she appeared to have a tired look. "Are you Ok, you look tired?" I questioned with concern. "Yeah, I guess a little." She answered honestly and we went on to a new topic. TWO: Allison was a no show the next two days and I was beginning to wonder if she regretted her actions. Despite my Catholic upbringing and a minor twinge of guilt, I absolutely relished the experience and was impatient for it to happen again. Allison finally showed and after I finished my laps invited her into the house. In the kitchen, I stood facing her as a wet sheen covered my partially nude body. Without uttering a word, her hands were on my boobs and I moaned passionately. For the next week, Allison seemed content to fondle and suckle my tits as I fingered myself to orgasm. Her gaze never ventured "south of the border" and I was frustrated because I craved more. Allison's family went on vacation the following week and I masturbated every day in her absence but, without her working away on my tits, it was a lot less satisfying. I brainstormed on how to get her head or hand between my thighs and after I read a few more seduction stories, it hit me. I simply had to take my bottoms off and her gaze would certainly be drawn there. Jessica Ann Ch. 01 The day after she returned from vacation, I heard the gate latch and Allison came into view. She had something gift wrapped in her hand but it would have to wait until I was finished. When I toweled off, we beat a hasty retreat to the kitchen and she shyly gave me the present. "I got you something when I was in Florida." She stated modestly. I replied in the customary way. "But, you shouldn't have." When I opened the box, I pulled out a sand castle made out of Florida sand. I was a sucker for sandcastles and a dozen or so different types littered my room. I hugged Allison in gratitude forgetting I was topless. As I pulled back from the hug, we gazed at each other and I had a compelling desire to kiss her. I pulled her towards me and lightly kissed her lips. The feeling was electric and we kissed with passion and need. We were kissing with open mouths and intertwined tongues, when I felt a hand cupping my bottom clad pussy. The hand gently fondled my creaming slice and I started pulling Allison's shirt and shorts off. My hand reached for her tit and I manipulated the stubby end as she had done to me. A finger on the pussy fondling hand was tracing a line from the bottom of my slit to the top and applied a little more pressure with each round trip. Hot flashes of stimuli vibrated in my gash and I sucked her small but taut nipples like a nursing infant. The taste of the rock hard bud in my mouth was thrilling and I delighted in the new experience. Panting like two bitches in heat, we fell on the couch and Allison removed my bikini bottoms. I spread my legs giving her a wide open view of my glistening fur covered gash. She was licking her lips with a look of unrestrained lust and her head made the slow descent to my quivering hole. I moaned with complete abandon as Allison lapped my virgin pussy. The sheer unadulterated bliss of her mouth on my genitalia was beyond anything I could have possibly imagined. I was mesmerized by the virtuoso display of cunnilingus Allison performed on me and grunted with animal pleasure as she tongued my pussy into a foamy stew of juices. An orgasm of biblical proportions was building in my gushing hole and I threw my head back, whipping it from side to side, engulfed by pure ecstasy. Allison's hands lifted my butt and when she covered my quaking slice with her mouth, sucked my turgid clit. Hot bolts of pleasure sizzled in my young pussy with blistering intensity. My body stiffened as an orgasm burst with searing contractions in my sodden gash. "Oh God! I'm comingggg!" I shrieked. My body shuddered with each passing contraction. "OH! OH! OH! OH!" I wailed over and over and at the top of my lungs. As my orgasm gradually diminished, little tremors moved up and down my body in varying degrees. My entire being settled into an overall state of relaxation and I pulled Allison close to me. Allison was thrilled when I told her that she was the first person to perform oral sex on me. When I moved towards her for a kiss, I smelled the odor of my pussy on her face and tasted myself on her lips. "Do I taste good?" I asked with total naivete' "Hmm, delicious!" she cooed and smacked her lips for emphasis. Allison's statement filled me with sexual pride and I felt the faint stirrings of excitement in my nether regions. I gazed down her attractive and slim but not skinny body and was intrigued by her bald crotch. Allison saw my interest and opened her thighs for my first close up inspection of a pussy. It was yawing open and covered with moisture. With my index finger, I delicately explored the fleshy folds and her scent enveloped my senses. Overcome with desire, I tenderly kissed Allison's wet groove and she moaned with satisfaction. My first cautious licks up her slit collected dewy drops of fluid on my tongue. The pungent flavor and heady aroma fired my craving for more and I lapped her gash with urgency. "Oh God!" She cried out. I looked up and saw Allison staring intently at me eating her yummy pussy. My inexperienced tongue performed with determination and need as a replacement for my lack of skill. I must have been doing something right because she moaned, groaned and bit her lip with a look of total pleasure. "OOH! OOH! AH! AH! OH! Came tumbling out of her voice box at high volume. As I feasted on her honey pot, I gawked at her in the throes of her orgasm. It was the first time I witnessed another person's orgasm and I derived a tremendous amount of satisfaction from the fact that I was instrumental in its cause. I was having a summer filled with "Firsts" and I felt indebted to Allison for making it possible. Later that night, I was finished my bed time preparations and went into Amy's bedroom to say goodnight. She smiled at me but I thought she looked fatigued. Our mother was diagnosed with Leukemia when she was thirty eight years old and one of the symptoms is a pervasive tiredness and fatigue. "You look tired Amy." I said in a concerned and almost panicky voice. Amy looked at me in that serene way that always had a calming effect on my nerves. "I'm due for my physical next month but I'm Ok." She assured me. I was anxious to tell her about my sexual awakening but felt shy in her presence. "Having a lot of fun lately." She remarked knowingly. Despite my bashfulness, I told her about my recent and exciting experiences with Allison. She listened attentively as I prattled on and without being overly descriptive, described what I liked and why. She hugged me as I was leaving her room but I couldn't shake my feelings about her tired look. THREE: That weekend, Amy went on a weekend trip to Big Sur with some friends but Allison purposely stayed behind. She was helping me plan Amy's twenty first birthday celebration and we only had a couple of weeks till zero hour. We decided on my backyard and the pool as the best location. Invitations via email and regular mail were sent out and my father graciously provided a caterer. On the afternoon of the party, Amy was surprised when she walked thru the back gate and the yard was filled with family and friends. She had tears of joy in her eyes and it thrilled me to no end. My Dad videotaped the opening of the gifts, the "Happy Birthday" sing along and cake cutting. My cousin Sherry took a photograph with my camera of Amy, Allison and me with our arms around each other in the late afternoon light. Later that night when the guests had departed, Amy and I sat together by the pool. "Thank You Jessica!" she said to me with more emotion than usual and reached over and hugged me. It was the least I could have done for her considering what she did for me. With only three weeks left until our departure for college, Amy helped me decide what to take with me. My rehabilitation was ahead of schedule but I was unable to swim with the same intensity before my injury. If I pushed too hard, the pain in my arm and leg became unbearable. Slowly I came to terms with the sad fact that my competitive swimming days might be over. Late one afternoon I forgot my Father's edict about swimming topless and he caught me again. "Jessica Ann!" He bellowed. I shook with fear and ran to my room. "You are grounded for the weekend young lady." He said with hot anger. "I'm eighteen! You can't ground me." I returned in a defiant voice. "I don't care how old you are. As long as you are living under my roof you will obey my rules. Is that clear?" He stated in sharp, concise and clear tones. "Yes Dad." I said in a sorrowful voice. He was standing with his arms crossed in front and a glowering expression on his face. My Father was waiting for my apology but my occasional bratty and defiant disposition kept me silent. "I'm waiting!" he declared with vehemence. His tone of voice brought tears to my eyes and usually did under these circumstances. "I'm sorry" I said with tear soaked eyes and voice. Later, Amy came into my room with her backpack. I was supposed to spend the weekend with Amy, Allison and a few of their friends at Mammoth Lakes. "Why aren't you packing? We're leaving at 6am." She stated with urgency. I explained what happened and Amy gazed at me with sympathy. "I'm staying too." She declared with resolve. I tried to talk Amy out of staying behind with me but she flatly refused and called Allison. I was overcome with emotion and she embraced me as I cried on her shoulder. It was the type of kindness and sacrifice that Amy specialized in, especially when it came to me. If she hadn't been a compassionate caregiver towards me after our mother's passing, I would have excelled at being a juvenile delinquent. On Sunday, the last day of my "imprisonment", I was sitting on the patio with Amy. We were discussing any fears or anxiety I might have concerning my first year at college. "I'm still a virgin." I exclaimed and Amy had a quizzical look on her face. "I mean in the technical sense." I stated. Except for my fingers and Allison's tongue, nothing else had entered my virginal hole. "Is that a problem?" she asked with curiosity. "I hope not but it puts a lot more pressure on me when I'm dating." I stated with some anxiety. Amy reassured me that I would know when the time was right for intercourse. "Remember; call me if you need anything at anytime." She said with conviction. I took her suggestion to heart but I knew I would be calling her on a daily basis because she'd worry if I didn't. Later I went to Allison's to say goodbye because she was leaving for her final year at Boston College. I was going to miss her. She had awakened sexual desires and needs in me that I never knew existed. On top of that, we had become friends and eventually, it would prove to be a valuable asset to me. We spent the evening enjoying a lusty and orgasm filled sixty nine pussy munching party. As a surprise going away present, she ate then reamed my virgin butt hole with her finger until I exploded. My Dad was putting the last few suitcases in the car when I turned to hug Amy goodbye. The most amount of time I had ever spent away from home was a long weekend. I would miss them both very much, especially Amy. This was Amy's final year of college and she was commuting to college from home. "Try your best and stay out of trouble!" she declared emphatically. My eyes were saturated with tears and the excess was streaming down my cheeks. I loved my sister and her considerable influence in my life had shaped me more than I think she realized. Her guidance and support had prepared me for college and future events. As we waved goodbye to each other, I was incapable of shaking the feelings I had about her tired appearance. Little did I know how heartbreakingly prophetic those feelings would be. Stay tuned for "Jessica Ann: Chapter II, Freshman Blues" Jessica Ann Ch. 02 Chapter 2, Finale The Hospice nurse arrived to pick up any remaining items that could be utilized for other patients. I embraced Carmen and thanked her for the support and care she showed us during a very difficult time. I helped her pack up the items she considered useful and as I was placing them in a bag, Frank walked in with some empty cartons. After three years of marriage, I still felt like a newlywed and embraced him. The truck was filled to bursting and my father left with Janelle for the storage facility. Only a few items remained and with Frank by my side, we quickly packed the remainder. Amy's apartment was finally empty; everything she owned was packed in boxes and destined for storage. Shortly new tenants would inhabit the space not knowing the joy and sorrow that transpired within these walls. I looked around at the bare walls and tears welled in my eyes. Frank knew I needed a moment by myself and left to wait in our car. I sagged with my back against the living room wall and remembered past events in a linear fashion. I saw myself at college and... One: My father put the last two boxes in my dorm room and I followed him like a dutiful daughter to the car. "Drive carefully." I stated in an adult voice and embraced him. When I saw tears in his eyes, it surprised me. My father was not demonstrative with his emotions and I rarely saw him cry. My feelings of love for him welled up inside of me and I sprouted tears as well. "Why are you crying? I asked him. "I'm going to miss you Jessica. I know I don't say it enough but, I love you." He declared with honest emotion. I squeezed him tight and gave him a buss on the cheek. Knowing how much he cared for me had my eyes flowing like a faucet and I watched till he drove out of sight. "Homesick already?" a voice questioned behind me. "Julie!" I squealed with delight when I turned and saw who the voice belonged to. Julie was a friend of my sister Amy's. "Amy swore me to secrecy. I'm the R.A. (resident assistant) on your floor." She stated with pride. Julie and I reminisced as we walked back to my room. "Anything you need just knock on my door" She stated succinctly. Later that day I met my roommate and we seemed compatible. Like me, Christa was an education major and as I discovered over the course of the semester, fun loving and sweet. When I went for the preliminary try outs with the swimming team, my recorded times were well below what I accomplished in high school. Afterwards, I met with the coach and discussed the injuries to my leg and knee. We agreed that I should continue my lap swimming regimen but only Monday thru Friday. He insisted that I add the element of strength training and I was assigned to a sophomore member of the team for guidance. Life in a college dorm was a noisy and sometimes chaotic affair. Occasionally, I would visit Julie in her room for a small dose of quiet. I met her boyfriend and we started hanging out as a group with Christa joining the mix. Because of my dedication to swimming I never drank alcohol to excess in high school but, college was a different matter all together. Away from my father's and Amy's supervision, I was a prime candidate for a journey to excess. Julie's boyfriend, Tyler, always had beer or something stronger. Parties in the dorms were common on Friday and Saturday nights. Most of the R.A.'s didn't seem to mind as long as the party was under control and didn't get out of hand. On many occasions, Christa and I had to support each other as we staggered back to our room. One morning, I woke still dressed and on top of my bed. At first, I didn't see Christa but there she was, lying on the floor fully dressed. With Sundays spent nursing a hangover, little studying was accomplished. When I saw my mid-term grades, I panicked. I had a "C" average except for a "B" in Freshman English. When I made my nightly phone call to Amy, she knew something was amiss. "Jessica; is something wrong?" she inquired. Amy was the only person I could confide in and not expect immediate retribution. I spilled my guts about the partying and grades. She was quiet for a moment or two. "I guess you better buckle down and study harder or Dad will have your head on a platter." She declared factually. Amy was the brainy one in our family. I was gifted in the art of troublemaking and had to apply myself when it came to my studies. For the remainder of the semester I gave up excessive drinking and discovered I still had a good time. During my "abstinence from excess" phase, a peculiar thing happened. Tyler, unbeknownst to Julie, hit on me. Christa and I were always wearing skimpy outfits when we visited Julie and Tyler. Several times, I noticed that Tyler took every opportunity to look me over when he thought I wasn't paying attention. As with Allison, I knew he wouldn't be looking if he wasn't interested. I tried my best to ignore him, especially because he was Julie's boyfriend. I remembered some of Amy's college advice. "Guys' will want to have sex with you and it doesn't mean they like you. They just want to have sex and get off." She stated with the knowledge of past experience. Tyler was good looking and had the lean "swimmers" type body that turned me on. One weekend Julie went on a girls' only trip to the beach and Christa went home to see her boyfriend. I resolved to spend the weekend studying and free of distractions. Friday after my swimming rehab, I was walking down the hallway in my dorm and saw Tyler leaning against the wall outside my room. "What's up?" I asked with a curious but suspicious tone. "Just thought you might want to party a little." He stated in a flat voice. Alarm bells were going off in my head but I ignored them. I invited him in and it was like inviting Count Dracula to a blood bank. Tyler had some pot which I had never smoked but watched him and Julie enjoy on several occasions. Their exhaled smoke probably gave me a contact high but with my consumption of booze I couldn't tell. He had some imported Beck's beer which I had grown fond of on previous weekends. However, I was determined not to succumb to Tyler's obvious plan to take advantage of me while his girlfriend was away. Music played in the background as I drank my first beer quickly. Tyler was smoking up a storm and I started to get woozy. After my second beer, I knew that I was feeling the effects of his smoke cloud in my room. And, I discovered something about pots effect on me. It made me horny as hell! Tyler was making idle chit chat when I saw him eyeing my body. He began complimenting me on having a "kick ass" body and my resolve dwindled as his attentive gaze and words dampened my pussy. I was sitting on the floor and leaning against my bed when I brazenly opened my outstretched legs. My shorts were tight fitting and very snug. He stared rapturously between my legs and licked his lips. Tyler took a few more puffs from his joint and I swilled the rest of my beer. My self control vanished and I said in a boozy/high voice, "It's hot in here." I stood and pulled my shorts down. With a pair of thong panties and tiny top my only attire, I sat down in my original position and watched a torrent of emotions cross Tyler's face. Tyler had purposely come into my room with the intention of seducing me but now that he had succeeded, he was having second thoughts. He gazed longingly at me as his internal debate ended. "Is there something you want." I asked in a pretend innocent voice. Without saying a word, Tyler kissed my feet and tongued between my toes. The cheating bastard had a foot fetish and I watched entranced as he worshipped my feet. Eventually he kissed up my thighs and I found that he had another surprise for me. Tyler told me to get on all fours and as I was doing so, he took my panties off. He spread my ass cheeks with his hands and ate my tender butt hole with the same hunger as Allison. As he feasted in my butt crack, I fingered my slobbering pussy. When Tyler thrust his tongue into my anus repeatedly, I soared to an orgasmic explosion. I bit my lip to restrain myself from making too much noise but it was useless as I howled from the pleasure. After my orgasm subsided, I was wracked with guilt and threw him out of my room. When Julie returned Sunday night, I avoided her like the plague and prayed she never learned the truth. However, trying to keep secrets in a dorm is sheer folly and eventually the gossip reached Julie. When she confronted me, the guilt was written all over my face. I apologized but she was madder than a wet hen. "You were supposed to be my friend!" She screamed at me. When Christa got wind of my indiscretion she was pissed and told me she'd never bring her boyfriend around me. When I called Amy that night, I cried on the phone for over an hour as I told her the story. Amy listened attentively and but offered little in the way of advice. She had warned me and I still fell victim to a horny guy's plot. "We'll talk about it over the holiday weekend." She stated with assurance. Until I left for home on Wednesday, I felt like an Amish girl shunned by her community for a serious offense. Julie's car was my only mode of transportation home and we rode in silence. After only one hour of a three hour drive, I offered another tearful apology. Julie asked me what happened with Tyler and I told her the truth. Without being graphic, I described what he did to me. "That lying son of bitch." She bellowed and called him a few more names in disgust. Julie explained that Tyler confessed to her that I took advantage of him but as soon as I told her about his "fetishes", she knew he was lying. There was no way I could have known unless he actually performed them on me. Although our friendship was far from being repaired, Julie was a little less belligerent towards me. Safely ensconced in my home, Amy gave me a greeting hug and surveyed my red rimmed eyes. "Crying again?" she asked with compassion and I told her the entire story and included all the details. Amy gazed at me with sympathy and hugged me with tenderness as I blubbered on her shoulder. "Jessica, you have a lot to learn about life but..." and she paused for dramatic effect. "How are your grades?" The sudden change of tack surprised me but lightened the mood and I told her that I had brought all my grades up to a "B" or better. The next day was Thanksgiving and we went to my cousin Sherry's for the feast. With my trouble at college a fading memory, I splashed and cavorted with my cousins in the pool. My Aunt served the food buffet style and we ate to our hearts content. I was eating my turkey and trimmings poolside in the afternoon sun with Amy when I glanced at her and thought that outwardly she appeared to be in good health. However, unshakable feelings of dread continued lurking in my sub conscious mind. I finished my first semester at college without further incident and repaired my relationship with Julie. She broke up with Tyler and thankfully, didn't blame me. Christa's attitude toward me softened but she requested a new roommate for spring semester. I was hurt, crushed really but respected her decision. My new roommate, Liz was a Theater Arts major and a friend of Julie's. We kicked off the spring semester with a party in Julie's room and most of the girls on our floor showed up. A semi soused Liz performed scenes from popular Broadway shows with hilarious results. Although we were the same age, Liz was more mature and world wise. She grew up in a rough Hispanic neighborhood of LA and thanks to her parent's foresight, spent a lot of time at the local community center participating in activities. "It kept me off the streets and out of harms way." She stated with conviction. Liz treated me as an equal but I looked up to her like a big sister. Her street smarts accounted for her different perspective about life. For reasons beyond my understanding, Julie's old boyfriend Tyler seemed to have a Svengali type power over me and in spite of my efforts to avoid him, he seemed to pop up at the same parties. While I was at a raucous party in an across campus dorm, Tyler cornered me and apologized for last semesters incident. "Jessica, please forgive me but I couldn't help myself. You're sweet, intelligent and sexy. I've been attracted to you since I first met you." He gushed with emotion. Tyler was skilled at seduction of the innocent. He kept complimenting me on my clothes, hair and just about anything that appealed to my vanity. With hypnotic quality, the words soothed and relaxed me. I was putty in his hands and he took me to his apartment. Again, alarm bells were ringing inside my head but I foolishly ignored them. He kissed me and as I kissed him back, his hands sneakily took my clothes off. I practically ripped his off as we fell on his bed. Raw sexual hunger coursed thru my body and a nameless desire, a yearning, took shape in my psyche. Tyler was skilled with his mouth and he sucked/licked every inch of my body until I exploded. He was on top of me with his arms extended when I felt something poke my hole. Like the robot in the TV show "Lost in Space", my brain was screaming, "DANGER! DANGER! Jessica Ann!" I was in imminent danger of losing my virginity but I didn't care. I watched with utter fascination as the head of Tyler's swollen and impressive cock disappeared in my swampy pussy. His stiff dick was gently going in and out of me but gradually going deeper with each invasion. When he encountered no hymen obstruction, he screwed my pussy with an expertise that had me gasping and close to orgasm. My legs gripped his mid section and I pumped my gurgling slice in concert with his penetrating dick. My internal muscles milked his retreating cock on every stroke and he grunted like a caveman. His cock went balls deep as he plowed my furrow with rabid intensity. He howled his approaching orgasm and I went over the edge as well. "Fuck! OH FUCK!" he shrieked at the top of his lungs. I failed to realize that he blasted cum into my heaving pussy until he slowed down and rested his slimy and jizz covered cock on my mound. Then it hit me; I just had unprotected sex. The fear of pregnancy and worse, aids, seized my mind and I started crying hysterically. "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE." I yelled at the top of my lungs. "You fucked me without a condom!" I bellowed in anger. Using both fists, I punched him in the side of the head at his ears until he let me up. I vehemently hurled every curse word in my vocabulary at him as I got dressed but all he did was lie there with a smug look on his face. Back in my dorm room, I sat on my bed holding my knees as visions of pregnancy and aids terrorized my brain. My first time and I have sex without a condom. How stupid of me as I ignored the warning signs and Amy's advice. I went to the shower room and scrubbed my body with the intent of washing away any external trace of Tyler. However, I was powerless to expel his baby batter inside of me. When Liz saw me after she returned from a date, she knew something was wrong. I told her what happened and she gazed at me with concern and sympathy. "It was consensual but..." I lowered my head with shame. "But, what?" she implored. "I didn't think about him using a condom until it was too late." I exclaimed sadly. Liz was regarding me with a knowing, "been there" look. "I don't have any simple answers but you can count on my support." She stated with sincerity. Gradually I raised my head and gazed at her with gratitude. I was learning life's hard and tough lessons one at a time. During my nightly phone call to Amy, I tearfully recounted my sexual escapade and loss of virginity. Amy listened attentively. "Amy, I don't really like him." I said with a tone of lament. Amy was silent for a long time. "Then why did you, you know, have sex with him?" she asked in an incredulous tone. I gave her the only answer I knew to be the truth. "I don't know." I said in a sincere voice. Amy sighed in a deep resounding way; a titanic sigh of disappointment and with atypical anger, read me the riot act about my less than responsible behavior. When she stopped, I apologized with a tear soaked voice and heard her sniffing back tears on the other end of the phone. My period wasn't due for another two weeks and I lived in a state of misery, fearing the worst. It was three agonizing days late when it finally appeared and I jumped for joy. I called Amy and before she had a chance to respond told her the good news. "Thank God! I got my period this morning!" I exclaimed with relief. "Jessica, I don't understand why you are telling me this." my father's voice boomed on the other end of the phone. I nearly died from fear and shame. He was using Amy's cell phone for the day and he wanted a full explanation. "Jessica Ann, I want the truth." He stated demandingly. It took me a long time to explain in a manner that satisfied my father. He was silent and probably in shock. He told me in no uncertain terms that he was coming to campus to discuss this with me and to expect him tomorrow by 5pm. I lived the next twenty four hours in abject terror of what my father would do to me. I was too old to spank but he could easily withdraw me from college and force me to attend one close to home. The following day, I sat on a bench facing the parking lot and promptly at five I saw his car pull into an empty spot. With resignation, I solemnly walked to the car and got in but when I looked at him, he had tears in his eyes. "My darling daughter." He cried and held me with a father's love. His heart was breaking for me, the troublesome daughter; the pain in the neck. He comforted me with kind and reassuring words. But, he lectured me for a long time, only without his usual anger. I listened with astonishment as he was sympathetic but also disappointed. Baring any more slip ups, I was to remain at college and learn to be independent and responsible. Although he didn't approve, if I was going to have sex, make sure it was safe sex and preferably with someone I loved. He realized that he was unable to control my life but, I had to take control. In the end, I gave my customary teary apology but for once I was truly sorry. "I won't let you down Dad." I sniffled with conviction. My father had spoken with candor and maturity and it made an impression on me. Numerically, I was considered an adult and it was time to start behaving in a more adult way. Our relationship had evolved and although my vow to not let him down would hit a few rocky patches, for the most part, I kept my word. Tyler saw me at a basketball game and tried to give me his "sincere" apology but I ignored him. In fact, I refused to respond to anything he said and it drove him crazy. I barely made the swim team by beating out another girl by only one, one hundredth of a second for the last roster spot. However, my leg and knee never fully recovered and I pushed myself until the pain was unbearable. New x rays of my leg revealed some stress fractures and my competitive swimming days were over. I wore a pressure cast for the rest of the semester and lamented my poor judgment at Vail. However, my life at college settled down into a predictable routine. I had fun and enjoyed my college experience to the fullest. I did my best to avoid making stupid mistakes and called Amy whenever I was in doubt. My sex life went on hiatus for a while but Mother Nature was not to be denied. Although masturbation was one outlet, I had a few satisfying bi flings. I dated guys but nothing in the way of love bloomed until my senior year. Jessica Ann Ch. 02 I was student teaching Biology at an inner city high school when I met Frank. There's only one problem with meeting someone during student teaching, a student teacher has barely enough time to prepare as it requires inordinate amounts of time and energy; all else is excluded. We met at a fall "back to school" party and I liked Frank from the very beginning. He was different; kind, considerate and witty. His dry sense of humor and sharp observations about life at college appealed to me. Our date was a fun filled riot of a night. Frank took me to a vintage movie cinema and we saw "Casablanca" on the big screen. Afterwards, we ate at a classic fifties type diner. He introduced me to malted milk shakes and a cheeseburger with... "With" I learned meant with cheese and onions. Over drinks at Doyle's College Bar, we laughed and talked with an ease that shouted "in tune" with each other. The following morning we met for breakfast and it seemed as though we just picked up were we left off at Doyle's. However, at the end of the meal, I explained to Frank about the time commitment with student teaching. "I'll be happy with any time you can spare." He stated with sincerity. We walked back to Frank's apartment holding hands and I realized my heart was beating faster than usual. Unfortunately, I was late for a meeting with my faculty advisor and hoped Frank would understand. Later that night, I had the urge to call Frank and when he answered, I smiled and darn it but my heart was beating faster. He assured me he was a patient person and if I needed his help for any reason to call him. Our conversations evolved into a nightly fixture and I was dying to go out with Frank again. After two weeks of talk, talk, talk, I told him I had some spare time on Saturday and that night we went to see a new rock group at the college auditorium. Afterwards, we sat at Doyle's and shared some laughs as we drank a couple of beers. Frank's humorous stories, relaxed attitude and the caring way he gazed at me, had a profound effect on me. As he was relating a story about his brother, I put my hand over his and squeezed it affectionately. We were standing in front of my apartment and he was saying goodbye. "I'll call you tomorrow." He said in an elated voice. As Frank gave me peck on the cheek, I pulled him close and kissed him with undeniable passion. When I pulled back, he looked surprised but smiled contentedly. He was trying to leave but I held him fast. "Jess, student teaching, remember?" he said with concern for me. I wanted to kiss Frank and didn't care about student teaching. I put my hands on the back of his head and pulled him close for another mouth mashing smooch. Then, I pulled him towards my apartment door and inside we went. "Jess, listen to me. You can't stay up half the night and hope to be prepared for Monday." He said with the same concern. Frank was right as rain and my eyes got watery in recognition of the truth. I agreed to meet him the following Saturday night for dinner at his apartment. "Bring whatever books or lesson plans you need and work while I make dinner." He stated with honesty. "At least I can be near you." He said with a hint of love in his voice. The following Saturday, I sat in Frank's apartment working on lesson plans as he prepared dinner. I had been working for about two hours when he handed me a beer. "Break time!" he declared. I gazed at him lovingly as the cold liquid warmed my insides. "Dinners almost ready." He stated and took my hand in his. The inexorable forces of nature took control as I pulled him close and we kissed like lovers. Every nerve ending in my body was alive with feeling as I ran my hands up and down his body with yearning. "Jess, what about dinner?" he asked in a breathless voice as I mashed my mouth on his. "You're looking at it." I growled at him. Our clothes flew in all directions as love's raw sexuality would not be denied. Moans and growls poured from my panting mouth as Frank hungrily kissed and suckled my breasts. My insides were on fire by the time Frank nestled his face twixt my thighs. His hot breath on my slit had me squirming in anticipation. He timidly lapped my needy slit and I was sure of his sexual inexperience. But, Frank was a determined cuss and valiantly licked me until I had a small but genuine orgasm. I pulled him up and kissed his face wet with my juices. He had a sheepish and shy expression on his face. "I'm not very good at satisfying a woman, ah, sexually." He said with humility. "Are you a virgin?" I asked bluntly. Frank's face turned several different shades of red and I had my answer. I hugged him with all my might. I wanted to fuck him silly and prayed he had a condom. When I saw him produce the foil wrapped packet, I thanked God because I would have screwed him whether he had one or not. I got on top of him and taking command unrolled the condom over his above average cock. I positioned myself and slowly lowered my gaping gash onto his hard dick. Little by little, I worked his fat cock into my pussy until I had him balls deep. It was time for "ride em cowgirl" and I fucked Frank with searing passion. I repeatedly stuffed his organ into my drooling slice and I was grateful for the desensitizing effect condoms had on cocks as I rode my lover to orgasmic bliss. With his hands tweaking my nipples, I erupted and screamed. "Oh! God! Oh! Frank! Oh!" I yelled and Frank joined the chorus. I swear Frank's eyes rolled back into his head from what I guessed correctly, was an orgasm. I was enormously proud that I had taken his virginity. He lost it in the best way possible, to someone that loved him. Afterward, we ate dinner stark naked and exchanged loving looks. I wanted Frank for dessert and found out he wanted me as well. We feasted on each other in a sixty nine position. With his tongue buried in my soggy folds, I wantonly sucked his cock until it exploded in my mouth. I got precious little work done as we continued our lovemaking into the wee hours of the night. I spent the next day playing catch up with my schoolwork but Frank insisted that I stay and he waited on me hand and foot. Somehow, I survived student teaching and over Christmas break, I took Frank home to meet the family. After he left for home, Amy and I sat in the den and talked. "He's a nice guy." Amy stated with honesty. "I love him." I exclaimed. Amy regarded me with suspicion. "You mean..." She asked quietly. "Yes!" I shouted emotionally. I was in love and in my heart I was aware that Frank was the "one", the person I wanted to settle down with and marry. "Amy, I'm sure of my feelings." I stated with passion. "You've come a long way Jessica." She declared proudly and embraced me. Spring semester, my final semester at college, Frank and I were inseparable. Our relationship grew with each passing day. One warm spring afternoon, I was waiting for Frank at the student union when I remembered how immature I acted during my Freshman year. I chuckled when I recalled my Dad lecturing me like an adult in the hopes of setting me on the right path. However, I frowned when I remembered my sordid affair with Tyler. It all seemed so long ago. I would be twenty two in a little over a month and I wanted Frank to marry me after we graduated. After our graduation ceremony, Frank and I went to Doyle's for old time sake. He was unusually nervous and fidgety. "Are you alright?" I inquired. "Yes, but, ah, Jess, I ah, wanted to ask you..." "What?" I asked in an exasperated way. "Will you marry me?" he blurted out and handed me a small box. Inside was an engagement ring and I stared in disbelief. "It's not much but I'll make it up to you later." He stated timidly. As I put the ring on my finger, I practically flew across the table and hugged him. "Yes!" I shouted to the rooftops and looked with surprise as the patrons in the bar applauded my decision. My father and Amy were happy when I told them. My poor dad, Amy had informed him she was moving to an apartment and I was leaving in less than a year. He would be alone for the first time in a long time. For the next year, I substitute taught at the local high school until a position became available via a teacher retiring. She recommended me because I was the only substitute who corrected papers and in general, cared for her students as much as she did. With Frank's new job in financial planning, we married and embarked on our life's journey together. Amy was living in her apartment with Janelle and seemed very happy. They met on a singles cruise and became a couple shortly thereafter. My father had a hard time accepting Amy and Janelle as a couple but his love for Amy overrode any negative feelings that he had. We enjoyed the holidays as a family and Janelle was as much a part of the family as Frank. Life was good and Amy was as much a part of my life as before. Our nightly phone calls had continued uninterrupted since my freshman year of college. She was still my best friend and sister who I could talk to about anything. However, I never lost the feelings of foreboding that existed deep in my psyche. They surfaced occasionally and I would visit Amy with the sole purpose of appraising her physical look. Amy and I were headed to the mall for some last minute Christmas shopping when I looked at her and thought she looked unusually tired. Every nerve ending in my body went on full alert; condition red. She looked as our mother had when she was diagnosed with Leukemia. Amy saw my reaction and gave me the "shush" sign. Outwardly I tried to remain calm but inside I was in turmoil. For the next hour a torrent of questions and emotions flashed thru my mind. When we finally arrived at her apartment, I turned on my heels and asked Janelle in a panic filled voice, "What's wrong with Amy? Janelle, please tell me the truth!" I screamed. Janelle had tears in her eyes and that's all I needed in the way of an answer. "Why? Why? Why? I shrieked and broke down in sobs. Amy comforted me and whispered reassuring words but I was inconsolable. I held her tight, deathly afraid of the losing her to that accursed disease. "Jessica, please listen to me." She said in a soothing voice. My chest heaved with sobs as I clutched her to me. "My dear sister, try to be strong and don't over react." She said in the same soothing voice. With as much strength as I could rally, I took deep breaths and exhibited some self control but I refused to let go of her. "Now, listen carefully. I was diagnosed last August and I've been on chemo since then. The doctor says it looks like I'm responding and with some luck I'll go into remission." She stated with reassurance in her voice. . This couldn't be happening. I had lost my mother to Leukemia and now with Amy diagnosed, I was aware of her chances of remission. And, that's "the rub" as Shakespeare wrote. Remission is not a cure as the disease can reemerge at a later time. Every day I visited the small chapel near my apartment and prayed for Amy's recovery. I begged God to spare her. My prayers went unanswered. When I accompanied her to the oncologist, it was bad news. Her response to the chemo was temporarily successful but the cancer had returned and her symptoms would worsen rapidly. Her time was limited, weeks maybe months. I remained stoic; Amy needed my strength not hysteria but, inside, I was gripped with anger, terror and grief. Amy held my hand as I drove her home. She was serene; accepting of her fate. "Jessica, I always knew that I would never see old age. When the doctor told mom that it was likely one of her offspring would develop the disease, I was positive it would be me. You took after Dad's side of the family. You have his strength and personality." She sighed in a sad way and mulled over her next words. "After mom died, I wanted to take care of you. I wanted to prepare you for life as she would have done herself if she had lived. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of your accomplishments and look at you, married with a respected profession as employment. You've come a long way and I will miss you." She remarked sadly. Tears flowed in an unbroken stream down my face. I kissed her hand and held it against me. "I love you Amy." I said in a sobbing voice and she sighed again. "I know Jessica. I never doubted your love for me." She replied in a weepy voice. As the doctor predicted, Amy's condition worsened rapidly. My father, Janelle and me took turns caring for her until it was necessary to call Hospice. I went on a temporary leave of absence and devoted myself to her as she had done for me. Allison, our neighbor, was a lawyer and handled all the legal papers gratis. She ran errands and just about anything we asked of her. She was fond of Amy and it showed. But, the disease progressed so rapidly that she declined sharply in only a few weeks. I was sitting with her one evening and she was pale, thin and weak. In a harsh whisper she spoke; "Take care of Janelle for me. She's a good person." The hospice nurse advised me that her vital signs were weak. As I held her hand, Carmen called my Dad and Frank and expressed the urgency of the situation. Before they arrived she lapsed into unconsciousness and with all of us present, died shortly after midnight. My sister, my surrogate mother and best friend was gone. My Dad put his arms around me and held me as I wept with deep sorrow over the loss of someone so dear to us. I was a motherless child; lost in the wilderness without a compass or guide to show me the way. Frank held me when my Dad broke down in sobs and fell to his knees in abject sorrow. Janelle comforted him as he wailed with impassioned intensity. He had to bury a child that he loved dearly. . I visited her grave often and spoke to her as though she were still living. It was the only way I knew how. Frank was the most understanding husband when it came to my obsessive visitations. Sometimes, he went with me and waited in the car so I would have some privacy. When the lease expired on her apartment, we gave Janelle the personal items that she treasured and kept the rest. Allison saw that there were no legal problems with the handling of her estate. As I said in the first chapter, she proved to be a valuable friend. I miss Amy terribly but life goes on. In her selfless way, she had prepared me for life and its challenges. She wanted the best for me and gave me the tools to find my way. For that I am indebted and eternally grateful.