11 comments/ 92688 views/ 11 favorites Brenda and Jennifer Ch. 01 By: jennifer31_32 Jennifer and Brenda were very nice women. They were both happily married with wonderful children. They had loving husbands and nice homes. They lived in good neighborhoods and had lots of friends. They also had some very secret thoughts. Thoughts about sex. Thoughts about other women. Sometimes, when Jennifer was dressing or in the shower, she would let her hands drift, moving and caressing all over. She had done that for almost as long as she could remember, thinking about boys she liked and later about her husband's touch. Sometimes she would even think about other men. Jennifer felt guilty about this but kept on doing it. She knew that lots of people masturbated -- she had even caught her hubby doing it sometimes. It just felt so nice and was her little secret. But more and more, she thought about something else. Sometimes she would think about another person watching her touch herself...another woman. Just the thought of being watched...someone seeing her as she pleasured herself...was terribly arousing. Sometimes Jennifer would even think about being the one watching. Seeing the other woman...feel herself. Watching her. Watching her masturbate. It was even more arousing...to think of her touching Jennifer. Not Jennifer's hands, but hers, caressing Jennifer's body. Touching her...feeling all over. Different than her loving hubby -- a softer, more knowing touch. Just gently pleasuring her. Or maybe Jennifer was touching her. Feeling another woman's body. Exploring and pleasuring. These were such secret thoughts. But Jennifer thought about them more and more. And they became more and more detailed. It wasn't just touching...it was kissing...licking...rubbing...climaxing...together. And it wasn't just some mystery woman doing the touching. Jennifer would think about real people...first just strangers she had seen...then people she knew but not well...and then, sometimes, friends she knew very well. Friends that would be shocked if they knew Jennifer was having masturbation fantasies about them. Brenda was also a very good wife and mother that had some very secret thoughts. When she was in the shower, her hands would join the hot water flowing all over her body...touching, fondling herself...all over. She would have the same thoughts as Jennifer -- about seeing another woman masturbate...her watching Brenda masturbate...the two of them... touching...playing...climaxing...as they shared and explored each other's bodies. Brenda also used to think about other men...but that felt so wrong...like cheating on her husband. Women felt different..safer, not the same..and even more exciting. Jennifer felt the same way. Nice girls like Jennifer and Brenda weren't supposed to think too much about sex at all...and certainly not supposed to be thinking about other women. Other women with their clothes off, masturbating, caressing and licking each other to orgasm. Women having sex. Oh, they felt guilty about these thoughts, but they just couldn't stop. It felt so good. It was their little secret from the whole world. They both had little toys that helped them along the way. Not that they thought of them as toys..or vibrators..or really anything. They were just part of the guilty secret. They had bought them furtively and hid the toys deep in their dresser drawers...until they were naked...already aroused...and they took the toys out to make themselves even more aroused and excited. They still totally loved their husbands. They were good men and good lovers. But Brenda and Jennifer were married, at home, tied down by the kids they also loved dearly even when they were about to go insane cleaning spilled milk off the floor for the third time that day. They had left their jobs to have kids, and missed so much of it -- the idea of having somewhere to go all day, a place with other adults, a place where they were not just the domestic goddess. Their lives were so boring, conventional, obvious, transparent. Wife. Mother. Supermarket bargain-hunter. That was about it. Except for this. This was their secret from the world. That they masturbated thinking about other women. But a secret was both delicious and draining. Sometimes it was just plain guilty. It was so bad -- masturbating at all, not to mention thinking lesbian thoughts. Didn't they love their husbands? Weren't they satisfied with their sex lives? How could they go to church on Sunday with this deep secret hidden in their hearts? It was so hard sometimes. Because it was a secret they could never tell. Both Brenda and Jennifer felt there was no one else like them. No one they could admit these things to. No one that would understand. * * * At least they had the internet. Brenda and Jennifer both discovered literotica and read lots of stories -- both lesbian and other ones. But no surprise -- it was the lesbian ones that were most exciting. The stories could get very detailed and Brenda and Jennifer would grow very wet just sitting and reading. Sometimes the toys would come out and they would spend as much time as life allowed just reading...and playing...often cumming more than once as they read all the naughty stories. Both women had ventured other places on the net. They had seen a lot of porn that turned them off, and very little that turned them on. No fake blondes with fake boobs making fake love with other fake lesbians, please. They also found bulletin boards and chat rooms, but almost nothing that really interested them. But they kept exploring...especially the chat rooms, where they could talk with other people. But most of these people were men, men who had zero interest in words that weren't "cock", "pussy" and "cam." Jennifer sometimes met a guy who was nice...and sometimes the chat got pretty hot. But she felt terribly guilty afterward. It was just like cheating. She had a man she loved. It felt way worse than any of her other secret thoughts. Brenda also began to chat more. But it was the same. It just made her feel emptier inside and more guilty than ever. She felt so alone with her secret life. One of them discovered lesbian chat rooms first. They both vaguely knew that such things existed...but the name didn't sound right for Brenda and Jennifer. After all, they weren't actually lesbians. They were married heterosexual women. Who happened to get wet thinking about other women naked and touching each other. But soon they both started visiting those rooms. A lot was the same -- a lot of men, a lot of crazies, and a few "real" lesbians who probably didn't think much of these married girls indulging their little fantasy lives before making dinner. Most of the time Brenda and Jennifer just clicked around the rooms, realizing that they were wasting their time. Hardly anything or anybody was even arousing...it was more frustrating than anything. But sometimes they were so horny that they allowed themselves to go pretty far. They were cybering -- with other women (or men who did a good job pretending to be women). Detailed, sexual encounters with strangers. It was hot..and more and more, they were signing on hoping to find a cyberpartner. Most of the time though it was just sexual -- not erotic, not really arousing, not even really satisfying. Just desperate getting off, really. They would try to have conversations -- just trying to get to know the person a bit -- but it was all pretty much about the sex. When people did talk, they often seemed almost a little crazy...off-balance, weird. Weren't there any normal people in chat? Normal people who happened to have very sexy secret thoughts? Some days they would almost cry about the whole thing. The masturbation. The lesbian thoughts. The fantasies. The erotic stories. And the crappy cyber that wasn't very fun but was getting as addictive as everything else. Could they stop? Did they want to stop? The worst part was just being all alone with their thoughts and struggles. Some days they just felt like crap about the whole thing. They had gone so far; how could they ever turn back? How could they ever tell anyone about it? Then one day Jennifer was hanging out in a chat room, and saw a new woman sign on -- someone whose name wasn't 'HOT4U" or "SeXyNiKkI." It was just "Brenda." So she said hello. Brenda said hello right back. Then Brenda sent a private message. "Wanna cyber?" * * * To Be Continued * * * Brenda and Jennifer Ch. 02 Thank you very much to everybody for your comments on chapter one. For those of you just joining the story...I think you can figure things out fairly quickly, but as always, it makes more sense to read the earlier portion. Once again, Brenda was...lonely...horny...and in a lesbian chat room. Whenever anyone who wasn't obviously a bot entered, she messaged them: "Wanna cyber?" Most ignored her, asked to see her cam, or demanded to immediately know her bra size. If she was desperate enough, she told them...and went from there. But then one person answered differently...a woman called Jennifer. Instead of "Cam?" she just said: "Hi." Normally Jennifer ignored im's. But she was lonely and horny and needed to...well...get off with someone. If this person could write another sentence, this time with more than two words, maybe she could have some...some fun. Brenda was happy to see a reply. She typed: "Hi, I'm Brenda." That was a sentence. "Hi. I'm Jen." "Hi." There was a pause. They both felt a little tingle – the sense of possibility. Jennifer took the plunge. "So...you are into cyber?" Pause. Oh crap, Brenda thought. Was she going to get preached at now? "Sometimes." Jen answered quickly. "Me too. Sometimes." "But it depends of course." "Oh, of course." "I don't cyber with just anyone." Jennifer lied. "Me neither." The conversation went back and forth. About half was untrue, as they played coy and each tried to stay slightly more moral than the other. But the other half was honest, and drew more and more deeper as they began to open up their secret lives a bit. Jennifer began to confess how much she thought about other women. That it excited her to think about being watched as she...touched herself. That she thought about other women touching themselves too. Brenda confessed too. That she...masturbated. That more and more, she masturbated while thinking about being with another woman. They both knew the other obviously cybered. They didn't talk about that much. They certainly didn't share any details. There was too much else to talk about. Too many thoughts overwhelming them...as they cautiously chatted...not wanting to say too much...but bursting with so much to say that they had never dared to share with anyone before. Brenda told Jennifer that she had had these thoughts for a while now...but that they were growing stronger and stronger. Many days, she felt she had to act on them...had to let them linger in her mind...while she satisfied and pleasured herself. And Jennifer said she had them too...thoughts that she couldn't stop...that maybe she didn't want to stop. They were so arousing, so exciting...so hot. Very hot, they both agreed. There was another long pause. Jennifer pulled back first. "But then afterward..." she started. Brenda finished the thought. "You maybe don't feel so good about it all." "No." "You feel guilty." "Yes." Jennifer suddenly felt something else. This wasn't a tingle. It felt like a glow...a feeling of intense warmth and relief that someone else understood. Someone else who felt the way she did. But it came with other feelings. She also felt the intense sharp guilt that she always did after she cybered – the deep pit in her stomach that told her all this was wrong. As she confessed that she felt guilty, she felt the guilt return. And there was yet another feeling...of excitement...that here was another woman who was so much like her. That understood her. And who had the same feelings. The feelings about naked people...touching, kissing, playing. Who was also excited by those feelings, just like they excited Jennifer. Who masturbated thinking about them...just like Jennifer. Brenda also felt the mixed senses...of relief, of renewed guilt, and of arousal. Part of her wanted to just shut the computer off and run away. Another part wanted desperately to know how guilty Jennifer felt...whether anyone could possibly feel as bad, as awful, as despicable as Brenda sometimes felt. And the last part wondered whether Jennifer was maybe naked right now..or if all this talk had maybe made her want to touch herself...just a bit. It was very overwhelming. They both felt electrified and more alive than they'd ever been. They talked more about the guilt. And here the words started spilling forth...no lies, no half-truths, but deep feelings about the hurting, binding, intense guilt they would feel after a cyber session. Masturbating made them feel guilty. The lesbian thoughts made them feel extra-guilty. But nothing felt worse than the cybering...especially mindless, anonymous cybering with some person out there they had never met, who they knew nothing about, and would probably never see again. Just emotionless masturbating with some other sex-hungry userid. And yet they kept coming back. They kept signing on. They had some intense need...or maybe addiction...that brought them back online...sometimes with their clothes already loose or undone...needing to connect with someone else...needing some kind of sexual satisfaction. They discovered they had both cybered with men...and had stopped. Many were just unbelievably crude and inarticulate...but others were too real...too nice and genuine...too much like the men they loved and had married and had real sex with in their real beds. They felt guilty about that...but also just uninterested. Men were not as compelling as women. What was wrong with them? Why were they looking for sexual release with women? Jennifer confessed that it was probably the illicit excitement of lesbianism – being with a man was more conventional, while being with another woman was shocking. In a sense she knew more about a man's body than a woman's body other than her own. She knew how she responded...how her husband responded and how her earlier boyfriends had.....but not how another woman would respond...to her touch. To her gaze. To her lust. Brenda agreed. There was something just so different...so compelling...about another woman. And yes, it was so wrong. But sometimes she couldn't stop herself, and it became even more exciting to think about how wrong it was in so many ways. To fantasize that another woman was watching her. Seeing her naked. That it wasn't Brenda touching herself, but another woman...touching and fondling and caressing her all over. Exploring her naked body..as Brenda explored hers. They kept talking...now holding back again...not confessing just how aroused they both were. Jennifer unbuttoned her blouse and slipped her hand inside...first over her bra..then slipping under...carefully moving and feeling the rush she always felt when she touched herself. Brenda's fingers were wandering too...pressing hard over clothes...inching underneath...as she felt herself grow wetter and wetter. But they didn't tell each other they were masturbating as they talked. Instead they chatted more about these feelings...the guilt, the excitement, the questions about why they did this and what compelled them. They even both went to church...they were good Christian married women...with these secret thoughts so unlike anything they had ever encountered or that were even whispered at women's Bible study. Affairs with men, yes. Lesbian masturbation fantasies...surely that was beyond the pale...nothing that anyone could ever understand. Except they understood each other. And as they built up to their climaxes...trying to type and keep up with the other...sharing all their feelings but not even hinting at what they were doing ...they felt the glow return, by itself this time. And as they gasped and brought themselves to orgasm...a feeling of acceptance and understanding enveloped them...the sense that someone else understood. * * * To be continued * * * Brenda and Jennifer Ch. 03 Jennifer and Brenda each shut off their computers. Wow. They had just connected with each other and had the most amazing cyber-chat ever. Not cybering, but talking about feelings. Talking about their most secret intimate sexual feelings, more deeply than they ever had before. Admitting their hot fantasies and how much they loved touching themselves...playing with themselves...masturbating... all to thoughts of other women. And though they didn't tell each other...they were both so aroused that they ended up touching while they were chatting. Brenda played with herself... fondling her breasts...lightly touching between her legs....as she told Jennifer all the dirty things she had done. And Jennifer pulled up her shirt...undid her jeans...all so that she could masturbate... as she told Brenda how much she thought about naked women also masturbating. It was so hot. They both came...gasping and groaning but not saying anything to each other. And soon after...they both quietly said they had to go...added each other to their friends list...and promised to chat again as soon as they could. Jennifer was still unbelievably aroused and horny. That was so hot. She had to cum again. Now. She went to her bedroom and closed the door, even though no one was home. And she started her favorite masturbation ritual. First she took off her sweater and then her jeans...already both rumpled from her earlier adventures. She carefully put them aside... and then removed her panties as well. Now she was bottomless, with a thin top and bra still on. She reached inside her shirt and removed her bra...pulling it out but leaving the shirt on. Now she had exactly one thin shirt on and nothing else, as she gently ran her fingers over her nearly-bare body. She felt electrified and so aroused. After all, she had just exchanged masturbation fantasies with another woman. Maybe this Brenda chick...maybe she was doing the same thing right now. Maybe Brenda was naked. Maybe Brenda was quietly running her fingers through her trimmed pussy hair...just like Jennifer was doing right now. So aroused. Jennifer had one hand moving down into her pussy hair...sensing already the wetness below and making everything even wetter as her hand gently played.. The other hand was moving over her shirt...over her chest...feeling her breasts and erect nipples...the touch already almost overwhelming even with the shirt inbetween. She looked at herself in the mirror. Sometimes this repulsed her and just increased the guilt, but now it added fuel to the fire. She looked at herself – respectable, respectable, respectable wife and mother, exposing her bare, hairy pussy. Not just exposing...but gently playing...touching... thinking about other women's bare pussies. About Brenda's bare pussy. Was Brenda playing with hers right now? As she continued to look in the mirror, Jennifer slowly pulled her top up. Her hand moved lower and lower between her legs as she began to expose her bare breasts. Her taut, erect nipples emerged from under the shirt...her tits now on display just like her pussy. It always excited Jennifer to expose herself like this... like she was flashing a stranger...showing off her bare breasts like some drunken teenage girl. But she wasn't a drunk teenager. She was a very moral woman...with nothing on but her top up around her shoulders, and not a scrap of clothing covering the rest of her body. No one else acted like this...except maybe...Brenda. She imagined it was Brenda watching her Brenda, seeing Jennifer totally exposed. Brenda, gazing at Jennifer's naked body. She shivered at the naughtiness of it all, and began to touch the true wetness between her legs. She stood there for a while...watching herself masturbate. Her fingers traced down between her lips...just gently brushing her clit, now lightning sensitive. So familiar to touch, yet each time it was new, exciting and delightful. It was her body, and her touch, and her secret fantasies. Her hands moved back and forth over her chest and tummy...fondling...cupping...tweaking...and just stroking gently. She wondered...if Brenda touched herself the same way. Maybe it was very different. But she knew Brenda thought the same things she did. About naked people. About naked women. And that Brenda masturbated thinking about naked women, just like Jennifer did. But surely Brenda didn't think so much...have such dirty thoughts...as Jen did. Thoughts about...being with other women. About touching them, feeling them...kissing and caressing their bodies...all over. About...fondling their breasts. About...touching them between their legs. Touching...feeling...rubbing... maybe even...licking. Licking their pussies. Licking another woman's pussy. Jennifer nearly collapsed. She couldn't stand much longer. It was time to do...the other thing she sometimes did. She went to the bed...and moved a pillow from the head down to the middle of the mattress. Then...still touching, fondling all the time...she carefully lay down on her stomach...straddling the pillow between her legs. She shifted and moaned as the pillow nestled nicely in just the right place...right against her sensitive, wet, hard clit. Ohhhhh. Jennifer rubbed harder. It was sooo good. She moved her shirt back down...to right over her breasts...so the rolled up cloth would rub between her nipples and the bed. She loved the feeling – her shirt up but not off, exposing her tits in a way that could only be sexual, her nipples stimulated by the movement of her body...her clit rubbing...feeling the air flow over her sensitive, exposed ass...her hands exploring. She put one hand on her breast...and the other down between her legs...down...right almost to her clit...while she rubbed and rubbed...her hips grinding and her bare ass moving up, down, sideways, always totally bare and exposed. Her fingers moved further to her clit...while she pushed further into the pillow...her lips hard against it and mashing her clit and fingers together. She closed her eyes and moaned. And she thought of Brenda. She thought of Brenda...not knowing that at that very minute, not as far away as she thought, Brenda was thinking of her. Brenda, lying also on her bed, but on her back...totally naked...her damp panties and everything else on the floor by the computer...legs wide apart...breasts and nipples engorged and erect...with one hand fondling herself while the other held her little vibrator lightly against her clit. Brenda moaned as the little machine came closer and closer. She had started just with fingers, while Jennifer was masturbating in the mirror, but had reached between the mattresses to take out her secret toy, the one she had had for four years but told no one about. It was her little secret...a shameless thing that could only be for masturbation...for stimulation...for climaxing and cumming. She moved it around her body...not too close at first, but gradually towards her sensitive button...the ultimate place where the vib always drove her over the edge. She moved her other hand over her breasts... fingering her right nipple idly, her eyes closed. She moaned again...more softly... letting herself relax totally and completely as she enjoyed her own body, losing herself in her own touch. It was so perfect...so intimate...just her own time...a secret chance to be herself...a vibrant, lovely, deeply sexual woman with needs and desires that had to be met. She was Brenda – Brenda who had a mind, and a body, that craved the stimulation, the arousal, and the excitement that came from deep, passionate masturbation, accompanied by deep, passionate, sexy thoughts. For so long she had these thoughts in her head – thoughts of other women...maybe several at once...all just touching themselves...seeing each other touch...learning and knowing about themselves as sexual people. Sexual women. Women who had sex needs and acted on them – gratifying themselves and giving themselves intimate, perfect orgasms without guilt or fear. But the thoughts went further...arousal at the thought of other women touching themselves...seeing them naked...wanting, craving, to touch them as well...to help stimulate them...to pleasure them...touching...kissing...licking...everything. Licking another woman's pussy. Tasting her...Brenda painting her lips with her tongue...stimulating her clit...pushing her over the edge the way Brenda was about to go very soon. Maybe...licking Jennifer's pussy. Pushing her over the edge. Mmmm. Brenda shivered as she thought about it...and as the vibrator touched her clit. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Her body shook as the waves rushed over her...the warmth...the glorious sense of peace, excitement, and beauty that flooded everywhere. She kept pressing...rubbing...as she climaxed to her touch and her thoughts...especially thoughts of her new friend Jennifer. Jennifer who was also masturbating and ready to cum. Jennifer was still on her tummy...her bare ass rising up and down as she rubbed herself on her fingers and pillow...her tits still against the cloth and sheet...also totally lost in herself...murmuring dirty thoughts that just made everything feel even more exciting. "Jen...you're such a slut.." she told herself... "...Jen... you just want to lick another girl's pussy...Jen...you need to masturbate... you need to cum ... oh yah....yah...yah..." She rubbed harder...her fingers dancing now...careful...so close... "Mmm...Brenda. Oh...Brenda." The words escaped from her mouth as she brought herself to climax...her own, personal climax...her secret, perfect climax that made her feel so wonderful...a woman...a person, unique in the world. She was Jennifer, she loved sex...she was who she was and no one could take that away from her. No one. But now she had found someone to share it with too. Brenda. She murmured Brenda's name again as she began to relax...to cool down...and to masturbate again. Brenda and Jennifer had just met that day...in cyberspace...knowing only small bits of each other...but had established that connection they had both longed for...another person they could share their deep secret with. So often a terrible burden...but now, something to be shared...maybe even enjoyed...with each other. And now...as they both masturbated more...coming down from their second wonderful climaxes of the day and wanting more...they thought exclusively of each other. They hadn't told each other how they had played as they chatted...but they wondered if...some day...they could tell each other. Tell each other...everything. And deep down inside...they somehow knew...that one day they would. They would confess all...even their masturbation fantasies about each other. Every thought...every last detail...arousing themselves as they each exposed themselves. They would reveal all in chat. Or maybe...even...face to face. Sorry it takes so long between chapters...and yes...this one took a lot of, um, research. Thanks for the warm comments from people...particularly from other women who struggle with the same feelings...good, married, respectable, religious women with deeply passionate sexual thoughts. These stories are deeply personal and I really want other women to know they're not alone in all this. Let's not be alone. Brenda and Jennifer Ch. 04 Brenda logged on. She saw Jen right away. "Good morning." "Hi." "How are you?" "I'm good...how are you?" "Pretty good." "Cool." There was a pause. Jen typed: "I was thinking about you." "Oh," said Brenda. "Me too." "What...you were thinking about yourself too?" Brenda laughed. "No. You know what I mean." "I do." Jen typed a smiley to match the one on her face. Another pause. Then they talked for a while about the weather, what chores they were neglecting that morning, and the new line of Ziploc bags. Overpriced, they agreed. Another pause. "That was a really good chat the other day," typed Brenda. "Yes." "I hope I didn't offend you." "Oh no." Jen wrote. "In fact, I though I might have offended you." "Oh no." "I mean," Jen continued. "I guess I really opened up my feelings there." "So did I." "I've never really told anyone that stuff before," Jen typed. "Me neither." "Like, what would happen if you just admitted something like that to a friend?" "It would have to be quite a friend." "I guess either they would avoid you or they would say 'no big deal' or they'd say "wow, me too'." "Yeah. One of those reactions," Brenda wrote. "And the risk of them avoiding you is so great...you don't dare say anything." "I guess there's another reaction though...that they would not avoid you...but not let it go...and make you try to stop." "Laying a big guilt trip on you." "Yes." "I guess that's what I worry about the most." "You just don't know huh?" "Instead we keep it secret." "Totally secret." "Except here in chat." "Yes." "It's so cool that we met." "Yes," Brenda wrote. She continued. "I have always wanted to...find another...christian women that struggles with this." "Oh wow...me too." "Like...with these powerful urges that are just so off the map...that we can't admit or seem to stop..." "I know!!!!!!!!!" Jen typed. "Just...wanting to be able to confess to someone without any guilt." "Oh...guilt." "Yeah." "I'm jealous that there are people in the world who don't deal with this guilt." "People who can just say 'this turns me on' and be ok with it." "I wonder how many are just lying." "You mean they say they are ok with it but they really aren't?" "Yah," said Jen. "Or they haven't dealt with it...they just push it down so far." "I guess." "I really think that it's there but they aren't dealing with it." "Yes." "It's true though...that if you've been raised to think of sex as bad...or something with tons of barriers...its going to create more guilt." "Totally." "Yup." Pause. Brenda wrote, "Of course..." "Of course what?" "Sometimes a little guilt can make things even sexier." "True." "It's just so cool that we can talk about this." "That we can confess to each other." "Oh yah." "Yeah." "Confession can be kind of a turnon." "Yes it can." "Mmmhm." Jen paused and took a deep breath. Then she typed very fast. "Brenda, do you like confessing to me?" Long pause. Very long pause. "Yes." Jen's heart jumped. "I like confessing to you too," she wrote. Silence. "Jen, does it turn you on to confess to me?" "Uh huh." "A lot?" "A lot." Brenda continued. "You know...the other day..." "Uh huh..." "When we met..." "Yes." "I got kinda turned on..." "Oh wow." Jen wrote. After a little while she typed, "Me too." "Oh wow." "Yah." "Yah." Jen pushed further. "In fact..." "In fact what?" Brenda typed a few curious smileys. "It got me pretty wet." "Mmmm." "Really wet." "What did you do about it?" "Um" "Jen, did you touch yourself?" "Ummmmm." Brenda laughed some more. "What if I told you..." "Told me what?" Now Jen added some smileys. "Maybe I kinda touched too." "Oh really." "Really." "Mmmm." "Does that...excite you?" "Yes it does." "It excites me too." "Uh huh." "To confess." "To tell someone that you touched yourself." "That I played with myself." "That you masturbated." "That I masturbated." "That I masturbated too." "Uh huh." "Mmmm." More silence. "Brenda." "Yes?" "Can I ask you a question?" "Okay," wrote Brenda. "Are you...." "Am I what?" "Are you...touching yourself right now?" "Yes." "Oh wow." "Jen...can I ask you a question?" Jen laughed. "Sure." "Are you masturbating too?" "Yes," wrote Jen. "Right now?" "Right now." "Ohhhh." "My jeans are already on the floor." "Oh wow." "I took them off a little while ago." "Oh my." "What about you?" "My hands are pushing into my panties." "Mmmm." "Running my finger in circles." "Maybe you should take something off too." "My jeans?" "Yes." "Maybe my panties also." "Oh yes." "Why don't you take your panties off too, Brenda?" "Okay." "Mmmm I'm so wet." "Me too." "I feel so slick." "Oh yes." "Everything wet." "Thinking about what we've said." "Telling each other everything," said Jen. "Yes." "It's so arousing." "Uh huh." "Well, almost everything." "Oh really..." Jen kept typing. "I guess I didn't tell you everything about the other day." "I guess I didn't either." "I played so much when we were chatting...that I came." "Oh, Jen...me too." "And then afterward..." "I did something afterward too..." wrote Brenda. "Oh really." "Yes." "What did you do?" "I lay on the bed and masturbated some more." "Oh wow....so did I." Jen left out the part about the mirror. "Um...I was really really horny." "So was I." "I got totally nude and played with my toy." "I got almost nude...except for my shirt pulled up...with bra off." "Uh huh," said Brenda. "I pull it up so I can see my breasts and feel like I'm flashing somebody." "Oh wow." "Yes." "Who would you want to flash?" wrote Brenda. "Mmmm...maybe some woman I just met." "Showing off your bare tits to some stranger." "Well, not just any stranger." "Maybe someone who was just as horny as me." "Yah." Pause. "Jen...what are you doing right now?" "I'm masturbating and thinking naughty thoughts, Brenda." "Mmm..so am I." "Fingers pressing down...feeling my slick lips...grazing my clit." "Ohhh...that's so dirty," said Brenda. "It's totally dirty." "I love it." "Me too." "I'm fingering too...right on my clit now," wrote Brenda. "Oh wow." "I am so aroused and wet now." "We are both so horny." "Totally horny." "I'm bottomless with my shirt and bra pulled up like before" wrote Jen. "I'm bottomless too." "Exposed...bare pussy?" "Exposed, bare pussy. Well, not bare as in clean shaven." "I think clean shaven is kinda weird." "Me too." "Just nicely trimmed." "Exactly." Brenda continued, "So...we both have exposed, bare pussies." "Yes." "I'm touching mine." "Me too." "You mean you're touching mine?" "Don't start that again." Smiley. Smiley. It allowed them to evade the idea. Neither were quite ready to go there yet. "It feels to good to touch my pussy," Jen continued. "To touch all over." "Yes." "I'm touching my breasts too," wrote Brenda. "Mmmm." "Grazing my nails over my nipples." "Mmmm." "Just a light touch...that drives me crazy..." "I can picture you there," said Jen. "Oh can you?" "Yes." "Totally nude and masturbating," wrote Brenda. "And so turned on from confessing." "Oh yah." "From telling me all your dirty thoughts." "Hearing all your naughty thoughts too." "Yes." "Just touching my breasts and it feels so good." "I keep thinking about your pussy wet and shiny." "It is so wet." "It's been wet for a while now." "Ooooh." "You made it wet." "Oh really." "Telling me how you masturbated the other day." "I did." "Telling me how you thought about other women." "I do." "Naked women." "Totally naked." "Women having sex with each other." "Licking each others' pussies." "Kissing and sucking breasts." "Grinding into each other." "Telling each other their naughtiest thoughts." "Totally shameless." "So slutty." "Yes." "Yes." "I am so ready to cum, Brenda." "I am too, Jen." "Let's cum together." "Oh yes." "Masturbating." "Yes." "I masturbate all the time." "Me too." "It's so wrong." "But it feels so good." "So good." "So good." "Ohh." They could hardly even type with one hand now. "Mmmm." "Ohhhhh." "Mmmmmmm." "I'm cummmming." "Meeeeeeeeeeeeee toooooo." Long pause. "Oh Jen...that was incredible." "Wow." "Yah." "I've never cum like that before." "Me neither." "Like..." wrote Jen. "Like what?" "I don't know....just..." "It's like we have this amazing connection," said Brenda. "We do.' "I can't believe I found someone to talk to about this." "Someone who doesn't make you feel guilty," said Jen. "Who understands what I'm talking about." "About sexy thoughts...about other women...and all the mixed feelings." "All the mixed feelings," wrote Brenda. "Yah." Pause. "I so want to keep talking but I am totally late for all the things I have to do today," said Jen. "Me too." "What...want to keep talking or totally late?" Brenda laughed. "Both." "This is so amazing." "Totally amazing." "To be able to talk...to share..." "To confess." "To confess." One more pause. "Are you okay if I sign off now?" wrote Jen. "Yes I should too." "Okay." "Bye..xxx ooo" "Hugs." "Bye." Brenda and Jennifer both signed off from each other. Then they each scrolled up the chat window and reread everything. And then they went to their beds and played with themselves...climaxing once, twice, three times with the excitement, guilt and excitement of what they had done. Thanks for your patience with my erratic story output.. Sorry if they put you to sleep. But let me know if they happen to describe your world too. Brenda and Jennifer Ch. 05 The very simple-to-follow story so far...Jennifer and Brenda are happily married but have some very secret sexual fantasies about other women. They have met online and are gradually exploring these thoughts and feelings with each other as they chat...and also explored their own bodies at the same time. Being women, they talk a lot about feelings. But don't worry... there is lots of masturbation and nudity. It had been several days since Brenda and Jennifer talked. It was hard for two stay-at-home moms to find time for secret chat...secret, uninterrupted, private chat which might involve doing some very un-stay-at-home mom things. They thought about each other all the time. Sometimes the thoughts were very erotic. Jen stood in the shower one morning...just caressing her breasts and gently playing with her nipples...thinking about Brenda...about Brenda maybe with no clothes on...wondering what she was doing right now. And sometimes, late at night, as Brenda moved in and out of chat rooms, wishing Jen would sign on, she would think about all the dirty thoughts they had shared with each other. And her fingers would drift...and explore...distracting her from the bots and fakes that were trying to get her naked...as she thought of Jen...naked...also playing with herself. But other times they just thought about each other...each other's thoughts...emotions...feelings...and the tremendous sense that they had each found someone different. A true friend...a unique friend who thought like they did and struggled with the things they did. And they glowed with feelings of peace...and excitement. Finally one evening, when Jennifer's hubby was out and the kids were in bed, she logged in...and there was Brenda. Her heart jumped a little. "Hey." "Hey." Brenda's husband was off on a trip, and her kids were sleeping too. The two women were alone in cyberland. It was almost a little...scary. Seeing each other was such a rush, but the guilt came as fast as the excitement. They knew this was going to be sex chat – with someone they didn't know except through a computer screen, someone not their husband, not even another man. They could talk about whatever, but they both knew it was about sex at the core – and dirty, naughty masturbation at that. Even as they typed back and forth chit-chat greetings, they knew they were going to be getting off with each other that night. They were going to masturbate together. The only real question was how, and whether they would push things further than they had. "So....." Brenda typed. And there was a long pause. Jen ached to break the ice, but she didn't. She chickened out and wrote "Soooooo" back. Brenda laughed. Then Jen laughed. Brenda was actually hornier than Jennifer. She had already been online for an hour...in and out of chat rooms, striking up conversations, and even finding a few good picture links. Her clothes were still on, but she was more than a little wet...having talked dirty to people...having looked at dirty pictures of people with no clothes on...especially pictures of naked women...sometimes touching themselves...or touching each other...kissing...licking... Even in the silence, she looked intently at Jennifer's name on the screen and started to press a bit down below. She ached to tell Jennifer how she wanted to lick her pussy...but couldn't say that...not yet. Jennifer was already feeling overwhelmed by the guilt. The conflict...the feeling that here she was again...a slut and total failure as a wife and mom...having squalid online cybersex. It was so wrong and pathetic. But she couldn't stop...she had tried so many times. She kept coming back because it was something different...something that also made her happy...gave her feelings of peace and release she could never find anywhere else. And Brenda understood...she seemed to totally understand and have the same feelings. So Jen took the first step. "Brenda...can I tell you something?" "Sure." "I'm feeling guilty." Brenda paused. She was already thinking of taking off her pants. But now she felt pierced by the same arrow. "I know, Jen. I guess...me too." "I mean, that was really fun the other day." "Totally fun." "But..." "I know..." Jennifer started to babble. She admitted their chat was so hot. But she felt like such a slut and hypocrite...living her typical normal life but having these secret thoughts. And acting on them...actually touching and playing with herself and masturbating to lesbian fantasies. Driving the ultimate mom-mobile...her minivan...but even as she drove, sometimes replaying in her mind how she had masturbated online with Brenda, lustfully swallowing every word as Brenda told her how she was playing with her own pussy. What a slut. "I know," wrote Brenda. "I know exactly what you are talking about." Part of Brenda ached with the same feelings. The other part wanted to do it again with Jen...right now. She wondered what Jen was wearing right then...whether she was turned on even as she confessed...the way they had been before. Maybe Jen's panties were getting wet...wet with the excitement of being bad. And a part of Jen did too. Just saying...that she was a slut...turned her on a little bit. But she wasn't going to say that. Instead she continued "it's like...it's like I want to stop...and know I should stop...but can't stop...just no matter how many times I try." "And," continued Brenda, "you rationalize to yourself." "Yes." "That it's not hurting anyone." "No." "That it's just fantasy." "Yes." "That it's okay to be turned on." "Yes." "I know, Jen...I do all that too," Brenda said. She was getting very horny and wet. "I guess I just don't want to go far," said Jennifer. "Me neither," said Brenda. Then she continued, "But how far is too far?" "Sometimes I really don't know." "I guess..." said Brenda, "that sometimes I figure I've crossed the line anyway. So...it doesn't matter...I may as well just do anything." "But," said Jennifer. "You can try to stop and go back." "I guess." "But you're right," said Jennifer. "Once you've done something it's in your mind forever." "You can't just stop thinking about it." "No." "Like an addiction," said Brenda. "Exactly." "A really hot, horny addiction." Jen laughed. "Yah." They were both quiet for a minute. They were both on the edge again...wanting badly to plunge into hot dirty sex talk...but held back by a mix of things...not just the guilt, but the thoughts of how self-indulgent this was...all the errands they needed to do for tomorrow...and even a desire to prolong the arousal...build the excitement further...as long as they possibly could. "It just feels so good," said Jennifer. "I know." "It feels so good to touch myself." "Yes." "To masturbate." "Yes." "Thinking naughty thoughts." "Naughty thoughts about other women." "Naked women." "Women with all their clothes off." "Getting excited about it." "Thinking about women masturbating." "Women having sex with each other." "Yah." "Yah." "Mmmm." Brenda began to unzip herself. She felt a sort of relief...that they had at least temporarily resolved the nagging guilt...and also felt the sense of arousal...the arousal of such good, open conversation...the kind she could only share with Jennifer. "Brenda?" "Yes?" "I'm getting very wet," said Jen. "Me too," said Brenda. "What are you doing right now?" Brenda told the truth. "I'm starting to take off my pants...so that I can play with myself, Jen." "Mmmmm...are you wet?" "Oh yah." "I get so wet thinking about chatting with you." "Me too." "As soon as I saw you were online, I started to get wet." "Mmm...I got wet too." Brenda's pants were undone and pulled down her hips...hanging loosely...her panties still on but very exposed. "Mmm...what were you doing before I signed on?" Brenda held back for a second. Then she typed, "I was in sexy chatrooms and looking at sexy pictures." She pressed down against her panty-clad pussy. "Oh really?" Jen felt a new flood of excitement...and wetness. She still had at least an hour. The flame was building now. She wanted to keep it growing...by talking...and maybe more confessing... "Yes." "Did you talk to some sexy people?" Brenda laughed. "Not really...just a lot of bots and fakes." "Aw," said Jen. "What about the sexy pictures?" "Mmmm." Brenda moved her fingers under her panties. "Brenda...were you looking at dirty pictures?" "Um." They both laughed. "Do you ever look at nude pictures and play with yourself?" asked Jen. Then she quickly added, "....like I do?" Brenda confessed she did. That sometimes she would cum...looking at dirty pictures. And Jen repeated her own confession...that when she couldn't find fun people to chat with...she also masturbated to pictures. Now Brenda's pants were off all the way...her panties still on but wet and pushed down...as she and Jen talked about what turned them on. Nothing hardcore. No expoited Russian teenagers. And certainly not fake "lesbians" with bleached hair and blank eyes. "What about this?" asked Brenda, and she attached a link. Jen clicked on it. "Oh my...." Jen's heart skipped a beat. It was a picture of two twentyish brunettes...naked...and kissing. It was very sexy. She began to caress herself a bit. "Mmmmm." "Do you like it?" asked Brenda. "Yes....do you?" replied Jen. The women's faces were glowing...their eyes closed, but happy...lips pressing together...bodies also together...breasts touching...pushing against each others lips.. "Oh, yes." Jen paused. "Brenda...were you looking at this before?" "Mmm...I was." "And what were you doing?" "Jen...I was playing with myself while I looked." Every word aroused Brenda as she typed. "You looked at these naked girls kissing and masturbated." "Yes, I did." Jen couldn't stand it anymore. She began to unbutton her shirt...and unzip her pants. "Brenda...it makes me want to play with myself too." "What does...the picture...or knowing I touched myself?" asked Brenda. "Both," said Jen. She was now exposed...her fingers beginning to freely roam. "Mmmm...are you playing with yourself now, Jen? Are you...masturbating?" asked Brenda, almost holding her breath as she typed. "Yes," said Jen. "Yes, what?" "Yes, Brenda, I am masturbating. I am beginning to touch my pussy." In fact, Jen had one hand lightly moving up and down her slit...stopping to type...then back again, while the other began to move up to her bra. "What are you thinking about?" Jen knew what she was thinking about – about kissing Brenda the way the women in the picture were kissing. About being naked with Brenda. But she held back again. "About those women kissing." "Those naked girls kissing...their bodies touching?" "Yes." "Mmmm...me too." "It's so wrong, Brenda." "Totally wrong...looking at women together like that." Brenda's panties were now all the way off...and so was her top and bra. She was naked...removing hands to type quickly...then they returned to her...roaming over her chest and tummy...dancing down to her pussy for a quick rub...then back up and around. She fondled and massaged her bare breasts, flicking her nipples lightly...wondering intently whether Jen was naked yet. "But I just can't stop," said Jen. "I can't stop looking...and touching." "I know...me too." "It feels sooooo good," said Jen. And she felt very, very good right then...she had removed her bra...and was gently fondling her bare breasts...secretly, secretly, thinking it was Brenda feeling them...Brenda playing with Jen's tits...maybe licking her nipples...sucking them...caressing and fondling. Jen closed her eyes and imagined the two of them together...naked and kissing and touching. Brenda didn't reply...she was spending more and more time rubbing herself...fingers sliding up and down her pussy...so slick and wet by now...causing tremors every time they moved against her clit...her bare, wet, red clit...just like Jen's bare, wet, red clit. Jen was probably feeling her own clit right now. They were two women...their bodies alight...aroused...aflame...both wanting to rub the other...rub their clits together...against each other...maybe reaching down and fingering each other...exploring each other's naked feminine bodies. Jen opened her eyes and saw Brenda hadn't replied yet. Maybe she had stepped away...or maybe...she was too busy playing...? Jen shivered at the thought. She typed, "Brenda...whatcha doing?" Brenda stopped and wrote back quickly, "Jen...I'm masturbating." Jen almost squealed with delight. She wrote back. "Brenda...so am I." "It feels so good, Jen." "So, good, Brenda." "You just got me so excited, Jen...so excited," said Brenda. "Our dirty, naughty talk," replied Jen. She was naked now...totally naked...fondling her bare tits and rubbing her pussy while she talked to this chick she only knew through chat.. "And naughty pictures." "Oh yes." "Pictures that made me play with myself," confessed Brenda. She didn't want to stop to type, but each word made everything even hotter. "Me too." "But now I can't stop thinking about your pussy...wet and shiny." "It is so wet...it's been wet for a while now," said Jen. "Ooh." "Wet pussy...erect nipples...everything aglow...you made it wet, Brenda." "Jen..." said Brenda. "What?" "Could I....could I lick it?" (To be continued yet again.) Brenda and Jennifer Ch. 06 "Jen....could I lick it?" Jen shivered. She had been having another dirty chat with Brenda...another mutual masturbation, dirty fantasy, naughty sex chat with her online friend. Brenda and her were both already stark naked...soaking wet...openly masturbating and telling each other everything. But they had never yet talked about touching each other. And now...wet and horny...fingers hardly able to type...Brenda wanted to lick Jen's pussy in their mutual imagination. And although it was a bit scary, Jen wanted her to. "Oh, Brenda." Shit...Brenda thought. She had gone too far. They were just masturbating...telling each other their fantasies and all the details as they played with themselves. Now she had made it about virtual, cyberspace, actual sex. Now she had crossed the line and ruined everything. Way to go, Brenda. "Oh Brenda...that would feel so good." Brenda almost jumped. Yes! "Are you sure, Jen?" Jen let herself go. "Oh yes, Brenda. Please...lick my wet, naked, pussy. The pussy I am playing with right now." Every word made her more excited. "Mmm...it must be so wet, Jen." "It is." "All that naughty talk." "Oh yes." "I want to taste it so bad." "I want you to taste it, Brenda." "To put my lips on your pussy." "Mmm...I can feel you..." Jen murmured. In her imagination she really could feel Brenda's soft loving touch in her most secret place." "My tongue moving up to your clit..." "Yesssss...it is so sensitive now." "Barely touching it.." "Feeling your breath." "My arms wrapped under your thighs." "Yes." "Pulling you close." "Your head buried between my legs...." said Jen. "Mmmm...eat me, Brenda." "Looking up at you...looking into your eyes." "Oh yes." "While I lick you with my tongue...mmm...pressing deeper." "Mmmm...loving it." They both had their eyes closed most of the time...opening only to type and to cherish the words on the screen. Jen fingered herself imagining it really was Brenda down there...while Brenda had one hand between her legs and one rubbing her nipples...and flicked her tongue in the air...wishing so much... This was cyber...but nothing like anything they had ever done before...with each other or with anyone else. It wasn't sex...but it wasn't just playing and masturbating either. It was very very real...it was with each other...two partners who already knew each other very deeply this way...knew their hopes, fears, dreams and barriers. It was excitement that drew them on...the shared excitement of discovery...together...in this virtual cyber world of their imaginations. Jen continued. "Mmmm...I lean back and play with my bare breasts...while you tongue and kiss me..." She began to caress her breasts while still fingering. "Mmmm, oh yes Jen...play with your breasts...while...I lick up to your clit." "Oh yah." "Taking it into my warm wet mouth." "Oh Brenda...you make me so aroused and so wet." "Sucking it softly." "So sensitive...so careful...it feels so good..." "Your wetness running down my chin....my tongue beginning to circle your clit," said Brenda. Jen was too lost to reply so Brenda continued, "I moan into your pussy as i lick you harder and faster...mmm...flicking it with my tongue...." "Oh myyy..." said Jen. "Oh Brenda...I am just totally playing here..." She was. She could barely think. Everything was on fire...wet, aroused, reddened, erect...everything she touched was sensitive and glowing. "Jen, I want to make you cum....I want to turn you on so much..." "Oh, you do, Brenda...you do...just our words alone make me wet...your touch...pushes me even further to the edge..." "Pressing into your pussy..." "All the naughty things we've said..." "Pressing and licking with my tongue..." "Ohhhhh...." "Licking bottom to top....back to your clit....now....slipping a finger inside you..." "Yesssss....yesssss...." "Moving gently around...in...out...back again to your clit..." "Oooooooooooooooooooo." Jen was at climax....but knew she had to tell Brenda. Brenda would be so happy to know Jen was cumming. "Mmmm...Jen...cum for me..." "Ooooooooooo." They were both quiet for a while. "Oh, Brenda." "Yes, Jen..." "You made me cum, Brenda." "Mmmm." "It was so good..." "I'm so glad..." "You made it so good...so erotic..." "Mmm...jen...I've imagined licking you so many times..." confessed Brenda. She was so horny now that she didn't stop to think whether it was wise to admit that. Jen was so glowing she didn't think twice. "Mmmm..that's so hot, Brenda." "I just had to ask if I could lick you..." "Oh Brenda...I'm so glad you did...I'm so glad you ate me..." "Mmmmm" "I've had fantasies about you too, Brenda," Jen gushed. She was so happy...and so excited to know Brenda fantasized about her. Now she was ready to please her partner the way she had been pleased. "Oh wow...really?" "Oh yah....fantasies about the two of us...naked..." "Mmmm." Brenda had both hands between her legs now...feeling the fire... "Just touching and playing everywhere...and I mean everywhere..." wrote Jen. She gently caressed her tits between words. "Oh yes." "Our bodies intertwined...kissing and sucking and grinding..." "Oh yes...grinding" "Grinding our pussies against each other..." "While we talk dirty." "Very dirty." "Oh yes." "Mmmm" "Fingering too." "Mmmmm." Now it was Brenda who could hardly type. "Pressing on our clits....sucking nipples...." "Ohhhhh....cummmingggg..." Jen didn't stop. "Naked together...the two of us having sex..." "Ohhhhhh" "Mmmmm...cum Brenda...cum like I did..." Jen was now fingering herself again. "Mmmmmm." "I am still masturbating too, Brenda...I want to cum again....just like you made me cum...when you ate my pussy....when you licked and played with my clit..." Jen typed. She knew Brenda couldn't speak but would see every word. Finally Brenda wrote "mmmm....cum again Jen..." "Mmmm...I will." "Lean back...feel my my lips on your thighs....your hips...your stomach....moving between your breasts....my tongue tracing its way to your nipple.." "Ohhhhh." "Ohhhhh." Jennifer and Brenda played with themselves...imagining it was each other...making each other cum...as if they were really there...really sharing their bodies...together...the two of them....on a new discovery and adventure with each other. Finally Jen wrote, "Oh Brenda....I came again." "Mmm...so did I," Brenda replied. "Oh wow...." "Lol...yes, wow." "That was so awesome," wrote Jen. "So good," said Brenda. "Brenda...we..." Jen paused. "We...cybered." "Yes." "But it was really special and different." Brenda hesitated. Then she wrote, "I knowwwwww!!!!!" "Like...you know...I've cybered before." As Jen wrote, it felt more like a boring fact than a hot confession. She was still flushed and happy, but the glow was already wearing off a tiny bit. "Me, too." It felt like they were discussing something completely unimportant...all their cyberhistory was nothing compared to this. "But...like...I didn't know...with you...whether we were going to do that kind of stuff," Jen wrote. She wasn't even sure what she meant by that. How would Brenda react? Brenda immediately felt guilty again. She had pushed Jen too far. "I know Jen...I just...I guess I just got too horny." Jen paused...what now? Then she relaxed. Just be honest. It was Brenda. "Oh no...don't worry, Brenda...I was just as horny." She waited, then continued: "I guess I wasn't sure if we were going to do that...but...oh wow it was totally hot." Brenda took a moment to reply too. "Very hot." "Incredibly hot." Jen laughed. Brenda did too. "Okay," said Brenda. "Jen...this was so incredible....but I should go..." "Oh, me too, actually. Hubby will be home soon," Jen jarred herself back to reality and more than a little guilt. "And I have a crazy day tomorrow anyway." "Oh not as crazy as mine," Brenda said. "The schools are closed tomorrow for a special civic holiday around here." Jen didn't even think as she replied, "Wow...it's a special holiday here too." Brenda froze. Then Jen did too. "Jen...we've never talked about where we live." Brenda had never really wanted to know. Neither did Jen. Privacy made them feel safer...freer...able to confess all without fear...and in a way keeping each other in fantasy and imagination and not too real...too threatening to their real, respectable lives. "No...kinda keeping those details to ourselves," said Jen. Brenda blurted it out. "Jen...I live in ____." "Oh my," wrote Jen. "Oh my." Thanks for reading. Of course there's more to, uh, cum. If you can, visit my blog (click on "Contact" in my literotica profile...and look for the "webpage" link). Brenda and Jennifer Ch. 07 Jen took off all her clothes and stepped into the shower. The warm water splashed over her naked body...flowing quickly down her back and shoulders...streaming over her chest and bare breasts...down further over her tummy and running like a river into her trimmed bush...flowing over her ass and between her legs...and finally running down her legs and feet...soaking her in massaging warmth. It was the most peaceful place in the world. No kids...no dirty dishes..no rattling noise in the van...no moody hubby like he had been this morning...nothing but Jen, wet, warm, becoming clean and fresh again. And no computer to tempt her. Tempt her to....what? It had been several days since her last chat with Brenda...another hot, fantasizing, masturbation sex chat with this wonderful friend she had met...but with the shock of learning that they were much closer than she had thought. Jen had deliberately not thought about where Brenda lived...keeping the mystery perhaps, the anonymity, the sense that this friend lived only in cyberspace rather than being a living, breathing, normal woman just like Jen herself. But suddenly, almost accidentally, they realized they lived in the same Big City after all. For a brief moment Jen had had visions of Brenda living...where...on the next street...maybe their kids were at the same school...perhaps they had stood in line together at the grocery store...oh man... But after a few tentative questions..."north side?" "how suburban?"....they figured they were perhaps an hour away from each other. Too...scared?...to be too precise...but both silently thinking...wondering...whether this chatty friendship might possibly turn into something more. Something a lot more. Jen was so busy thinking...remembering...that she stood still in the shower...eyes closed, not washing, not touching either...even tho she felt that familiar tingling. The special, exciting, unique arousal she felt when she thought about Brenda...about Brenda her friend, her special friend...the outlet for her fantasies...her...her masturbation partner...her cybersex lover even..but so much more as well. All Jen's sex fantasies made her feel guilty...but chatting with Brenda was wonderful precisely because she understood the guilt. Brenda knew everything, because she felt it too...the terribly mixed feelings...the way the guilt fed the arousal...how being bad was so hot. When Jen chatted to anyone else online, it was sex talk..fast and furious...get the clothes off...get the fingers moving, push it further, get off, get off, get off. But with Brenda, it was so much more...it was confession, sharing, the wonderful sense of not being alone in this. It was equal parts support and arousal...that even as they laid out their agony, they got hornier and hornier...until they satisfied themselves and each other through dirty naughty wonderful masturbation. And now...a whole new realm of possibilities. What to do??????? Her eyes were still closed as she felt the tingling grow. And soon, as if it was inevitable, Jen began to touch herself. Lightly, so familiarly, just massaging her tummy at first...fingers moving through the waterfall..then up a bit...brushing her breasts...one hand down along her side...down past her waist...moving closer. She rarely orgasmed in the shower...but loved to touch like this...just building the tingles...especially as one hand brushed her nipples...sensitive despite the hot steam...while the other made its familiar way through her hair...her own private secret hair...closer and closer. As she opened down below, her mind raced with the new possibilities she had already thought about so many times. The idea of...meeting Brenda. For real. Just to see her...to see into her eyes...to know once and for all the realness of all this. That Brenda was real, a woman who surely looked perfectly normal but secretly went home and masturbated about sex with women, surfing the net looking for porn and sex partners, but then went back out in public looking totally normal and respectable. As respectable as Jen seemed to others. Jen excited herself so much just thinking of this...just a glimpse of the real Brenda...that she sometimes never went further...to the idea of....of....BEING with Brenda. Privately and secretly. Getting naked with Brenda...the two of them undressing each other....unbuttoning and unzipping each other...undoing bras...Jen taking off Brenda's panties for her...ohhhh. And that could be just the start. The start of a lot more. Now Jen was rubbing quicker, faster. Fingers probing...massaging her exposed clit now...others moving in and out of her openness...quick touches to the breasts and nipples...as she built herself up to a rare shower orgasm. Thinking of being naked with Brenda...masturbating together...still talking and sharing like in chat...but bodies touching...probing..fondling...licking. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Jen came in the shower, legs shaking. Oh man. How long had she been standing there? She quickly, efficiently, mechanically washed herself, sparing her hair today, hardly letting herself think about anything except the day's errands. Soon she was dripping on the bathroom floor, towel quickly covering her nakedness, moving to the bedroom to dress, still hardly letting her thoughts wander. She felt guilty again...not so much for masturbating again about Brenda, but just for the time she had wasted. Think of the hot water bill alone. But occasionally, a tingle emerged again. And Jen kept thinking. She had already entertained so many ideas in her mind...even thinking...just how it could happen. They could meet...for coffee..maybe at the big mall where the interstates met...just meet...but...she remembered...all those big hotels there...respectable, anonymous...as respectable and normal as Jen and Brenda themselves. A place where they could...if they wanted...they could... Oh man. She had put panties on...but suddenly felt the urge to take them off again. Without thinking, she began to finger herself inside her panties....then massaging her tits...still bare...turning to the mirror again where she always got off watching herself masturbate. And now she was doing it again...stripping off the clean fresh panties...baldly rubbing her clit like the sex-crazed slut she was...needing to get off again...inflaming her thoughts with Brenda fantasies. Soon she was on the bed...her favorite position...ass up and exposed...fingers mashed between the pillow and her pussy...fondling and rubbing her tits...naked and masturbating. Her horny mind raced and filled in all the blanks. It was all so simple. She and Brenda could meet....late in the morning, enough time to send the kids off and drive there...at the coffee shop at the west end of the mall...but hotels nearby...no problem finding a discreet quiet respectable place...then they would meet...maybe getting soaking wet right there...hardly making it to the hotel...then getting naked with Brenda...having...having...sex with Brenda...real sex...not cyber masturbation....real sex with Brenda. Jennifer and Brenda together having sex. Oh mannnnnnnnnnnnn. She was cummmmming again. It was so sexy and glorious. But soon again, it was a glow mixed with guilt. Holy crap...what was she getting herself into? A lesbian affair? And what if Brenda was really crazy...way weirder than she appeared...some freak lying or manipulating Jen for who knows what possible reason. That could be even worse than just sleeping with another woman...which...was pretty bad. Cheating. But really, any worse than already sharing deep naughty fantasies and mutually masturbating online, virtually licking each other's pussy and having imaginary sex? Jen's mind went back and forth. Crap. It was so complicated. There never seemed to be an easy answer...other than stop everything...which had failed so many times before. It hung like a heavy weight in her mind as she dressed and got ready to face the world...or at least her kitchen. ************************************ It was mid-afternoon and Brenda was bored. Bored bored bored...again. She could...clean the fridge. She could pay some bills. She could sort out the kids' clothes. She could go to the mall and see things she couldnt afford. She could go grocery shopping and navigate around all the seniors and their motorized carts. Or she could go online and have some hot sex chat. So..inevitably...like always...she soon logged on...and there was Jen. Jen, who she hadn't talked to since their...what...their revelation. Jen, so close. "Hi." "Hi." They did their usual slow chit-chat...like slowly easing into a hot bath...sometimes almost cringing but soon, comfortably, easing into the all-encompassing warmth of each other. The understanding...the slow building of arousal...but still, they kept unspoken what was in the back of their minds. "Mmmm...Brenda." "Mmmm, Jen..." Brenda's hands were exploring...already reaching down deep into her panties...masturbating again...the two of them driving each other on. She lifted up her shirt...and undid her bra...exposing her bare breasts and her firm nipples to the air...pants undone...slutty slutty thoughts in her head. They confessed to each other what they were doing...how they were both masturbating...right there...together...so aroused by each other...aroused by the thought of each other touching herself...their bare naked bodies... Soon Brenda's pants were off. She told Jen. "Mmm...just panties then?" asked Jen. "Yes, Jen...nothing but my panties," said Brenda. "Ohhh...mmm...wish I could take them off for you," said Jen. "Mmm yes," said Brenda. "I wish you could undress me all the way." "Yes..the two of us...naked together..." said Jen. It was so hot...Brenda pulled off her panties...now she was totally nude and fingering everywhere. "Yes, Jen...if we could only be naked together." "Mmmm...you know we could be..." Brenda's eyes were closed as she fondled her tits and pussy...and she didn't see or respond at first. When she saw what Jen had said...she almost jumped. Oh man. But Brenda was soooo aroused and horny. She replied, "Yes, Jen...we could be together...for real." "So amazing." "We really could do it." "Meet for real." "Yes." "Meet and get naked." "Mmmm...meet and have sex...the two of us." "Yes." "Oh man....." They were both naked...totally slick and wet...fingers pushing in and out...nipples on fire...their clits absolutely electric...everything out of control now...beyond all reason...no hesitation...just that flame...that they wanted to burn higher and higher...piling on more and more fuel...whatever it took... "Jen..." began Brenda. "Yes, Brenda..." "Why don't we..." "Why don't we..." Jen paused, then said it. "Do it? For real?" "Yes, Jen. For real." "Mmmm." Jen typed slowly with one hand...the other in her pussy. "Have you thought about it...for real?" Jen hesitated again. "Yes." "Mmm me too." "Thought it out in my mind...how we could do it..." "Me too." Brenda typed quickly so her hands could go back to her bare tits...the tits she wanted Jen to see and lick for real. "We could meet halfway...like at the big mall." "Mmm lots of hotels there." Jen swallowed. "Yes." They continued...the two of them building the whole idea in their minds...leave the house in the middle of the day...meet at the coffee shop...then...to a private room...for... And all the time they fondled their own naked bodies...Brenda fetching her vibrator...thinking of touching each other...exploring...actually being with another woman for real. Brenda pressed her pretty little secret close to her clit...already almost driving her over to the edge...but not as hot as the thought of her and Jen together...licking each other's bodies...all over...lips...neck... nipples...thighs...clit...mmm...licking Jen's bare clit...ohhhh Jen pressed two fingers inside herself...while gently thumbing her clit...so sensitive...other hand flicking her nipples...tongue wishing it had something too...Jen masturbating...cybering with Brenda...filled with this incredible plan...this plan to be naked and have sex with Brenda...for real. It was a new feeling...a new plane they had never reached...so wild and incredible...that it felt so right...they wanted to do it now...today...if not then soon, please, soon...Jen and Brenda together. Now. Now. Now. "Maybe even...tomorrow...?" said Jen. Brenda thought through the haze of sex and arousal to her schedule, even though that didn't matter. Whatever else there was could wait. "Mmm...yes...yes..." "Mmm yes." "Tomorrow we will be naked together." "Brenda and Jennifer together at last." "Yessss." "Mmmm now I think I can cum." "Mmmm me too..." They came together...gasping by themselves...typing long "mmmmm's" to let the other know...feeling the excitement, the satisfaction of another encounter...but knowing so much more was waiting...very very soon. Perhaps that was what made them sign off quicker than usual...no post-coital small talk...just the quick rush of real life returning to their heads, and thinking of what they had to do for tomorrow. So they said loving, kissy goodbyes...and signed off. **************************************** Jen could barely make dinner, much less eat it. She was a robot mother with the kids, preoccupied. She and hubby watched TV...reruns, but comforting, leaving conversation unnecessary...then to bed...no sex...brush teeth and quick kisses...and then Jen lay awake. With a giant pit in her stomach. What had she done? All the cybersex, the porn, the crap...and now this...meeting some woman for lesbian adultery. Cheating. With someone she only knew through the computer. Was she just a big fucking idiot? A big fucking pathetic idiot? She ran through her head all the stupid and bad things about it. The sex. The cybering. The cheating...keeping such deep dark secrets from the love of her life. The hypocrisy...a good Christian woman involved in total disgusting shit. What a fucking loser. And who was this Brenda...probably some psycho liar...really just a figment of her imagination...what she wanted a sex friend to be...but probably a weirdo...some pervert...maybe even a guy somehow...who would probably sneak up on her...take her picture and post it everywhere saying "Internet Lesbian Pervert"...or...geez...blackmail her...oh man...fuck fuck fuck...what had she done... And yet...Brenda drove her on. She wanted to be with Brenda...just to meet her...touch her hand...look into her eyes and assure herself that Brenda was for real. And for every awful scenario Jen thought of a response...disguise herself with her biggest sunglasses...park far away so no one could see her licence plate...just play it safe...be careful...it will be all right. It was going to be fun. It's Brenda. She finally fell asleep. The giant pit was still there in the morning...but so was excitement...deep excitement like she hadn't felt in a long time...so she tried to act normal, nonchalant, as she quickly shooed her family off to their daytime activities. Thank goodness for supervised school lunch, she thought. Brenda. Brenda! Brenda!!!! She chose a pretty maroon bra and panty set...almost unable to believe who might be seeing it soon. Sensible khaki skirt and light green top...the better to look respectable in some hotel lobby. Sunglasses. And soon she was in the minivan - nothing she could do about that - driving to her incredible destiny, ignoring that stupid rattle. And then the pit took over. Suddenly the elation was gone...and the darkness took over. What was she doing? Why was she doing it? She could still stop...turn around...just say no and quit. Take control of her life. Instead, here she was, going off to meet a stranger for sex. The traffic was slow and heavy, giving her more time to fret. She could get off at the next exit. Turn back. No. Yes. No. The van kept moving along, drawing her closer and closer. Not far now. She gripped the steering wheel and tried to ignore the awesome hole in her gut. It will go away, she thought, as soon as we meet. But the pain was almost killing her as she turned off the interstate and headed into the mall parking lot. The coffee shop was outside, just around the corner. Jen parked a distance away and turned the engine off. And then she sat there. The giant pit. The pain. The guilt. She could hardly move. It was so bad. She was so bad. She had done so much bad stuff and it was just going to get worse. Jen burst into tears. She couldn't do it. She couldn't. She cried, first sobbing intensely...then slowing down...nose running a bit as she tried to take deep breaths. Calming a little. Then she looked around. Two spots away, another woman, about her age, was sitting in another minivan...just sitting, windows closed and motor off. Jen couldn't tell for sure but thought she had been crying too. Wow. The pit disappeared, replaced by...not excitement...more curiosity. And Jen got out and walked over. The woman saw her, startled for a sec, then opened her door a little. "Jen?" "Brenda?" Stay tuned. One more chapter. Brenda and Jennifer Ch. 08 "Jen?" "Brenda?" They were both caught off-guard...stunned...suddenly unsure of themselves after all the build-up, all the anticipation. Instead of a dramatic encounter, the two cyber-lovers had stumbled into each other in the mall parking lot...not ready...tangled up with emotions and doubt. They both froze and said nothing. Brenda finally broke the silence, still sitting with her van door open. "Hey." "Hey." Then quiet again. Brenda tried again. She even smiled a little. "Um...I can't believe it." "Me neither." Jen crossed her arms and scratched lightly with her fingers. "Um...this is awkward." Brenda still had her seatbelt on. The car was beeping from the keys still in the ignition. "Yah." More quiet. Then suddenly they both laughed. Not big hearty laughs, but just enough to break the tension, the awkwardness. "Wow," said Brenda. She pulled out the keys. "It's so weird to actually see you." "And to see you." "Here in the parking lot." "Yah," Brenda answered. She hesitated and went on. "I was just kinda sitting here." "Me too," Jen quickly replied. "I was...I mean...I was just sitting too." "Yah." "I can't believe it." "I still can't either." They went on, stumbling, repeating, not quite sure what to say. The initial surprise was wearing off...replaced by excitement...but also the feelings...the doubt...the guilt...that had left them in their cars. It was coming back...coming back strong. "Brenda..." Jen hesitated. "I...I don't know what to say...I...I..." Brenda looked at Jen...not too directly...but enough to make eye contact...and quietly said, "It's okay, Jen." She paused and then went on: "It's me." "I know....it's just so weird." "But it's still us...we can say anything. It's different but it's still us." "Yah," said Jen. "But, yah....it is pretty weird," agreed Brenda. Suddenly they could see each other...every facial expression...the looks of concern, hesitancy...even fear. No longer just the words on the screen...but two real people with a million unspoken complexities neither had seen before. They were quiet for a bit...frozen in the parking lot...Brenda still in the van...Jen fidgeting badly on her feet. Then Jen took a deep breath and decided to spill it all. "Brenda...." She stopped again and looked away. Brenda looked down and away too. "It's okay." Not having to look made Jen feel a little braver. "Brenda...I am feeling totally guilty...I don't think I can do this." Brenda paused for a beat and then quickly said, "Jen....me too." "Oh man, really?" "Yah...really." Now the words began to gush out of Jen like air deflating from a balloon. "Like....I have so loved doing all this stuff with you but this feels really really bad and wrong." "Yah, I know," answered Brenda quietly. "I mean...I feel so screwed up sometimes....it's been fun but now I feel like I'm really crossing the line...something way beyond the stuff I've done." Beat. "Me too." Jen paused. "Really?" "Really." Another pause. They still looked away from each other. "Like it's real cheating now." "Yah." "Real sex." "Yah." "I can't just turn off the computer and pretend nothing happened." "No." Now they began to glance a bit at each other...two deflated balloons. They felt a little better...but also more empty, more emotionally exhausted. "I mean," said Jen, "it's definitely been...um...interesting...and I think you're a really cool person." She wondered what else she could say...still standing in the middle of a parking lot. "Oh thanks..." said Brenda, "Um....I feel that way too about you. Totally." They were quiet again. "So...." said Brenda. "So..." said Jen. They each laughed a little again...nervously. "Maybe...we should...do you want to just leave then?" asked Brenda. "Like, just forget this happened?" "Um..." said Jen. One instinct said yes, go away. Another said no, stay. Stay and....talk. And it seemed to be the guilty side that said to stay. "Um, I guess...or..." Brenda didn't say anything. "Or...maybe we could just...just talk?" Jen asked. "Talk...just about all this stuff. Like, what it's doing to us." Brenda was quiet. Then she said, very softly, "I think I'd like that." Jen began to almost feel okay. So did Brenda. They were still talking through the open van door. Jen pointed at it and said, "Maybe...sit down somewhere?" She continued, "somewhere private...not the coffee shop." "Yah," Brenda laughed. "Not sure I want to talk with other people around." She looked around the parking lot...not a lot of options. She paused. "Want to just sit here in the van with me?" Jen had visions of suddenly being driven off by this near-stranger. "Um...sure." It actually sounded pretty good. It was quiet and private. And they wouldn't have to look each other in the eye... She walked around the front of the van and opened the door, while Brenda cleared praise CDs off the seat. Jen settled in and they both looked a bit sideways at each other...bodies forward...necks turned...just enough eye contact. More silence. Then Brenda spoke. "Yah...I almost didn't come today." "Me neither," said Jen. "I could...I could barely sleep last night." "Oh man...me too." "I mean..." Now Jen felt braver. "I mean...it's stupid, Brenda. We....we fucked online...but now it feels totally wrong to do it for real. It's stupid." She was amazed to hear her own words. "Yah...we've fucked online," repeated Brenda. It wasn't erotic...just a statement of fact. "So why the hell is it really different to do it in person?" asked Jen. Her normal self-censorship had vanished. She thought it..she said it. "I don't know," said Brenda. "But it is." "Yah." "Like...lust and sex are all the same, whether it's for real or in your mind." "Like the Bible says." Jen couldn't believe she had said that. "Yah," said Brenda. "In Matthew." She continued. "Jen, I know exactly where you are coming from...especially about all that." They were both...you know...and yet were into all this. It was their deepest, almost unspoken bond. "Oh, I know, Brenda...you always have. You have always understood" Brenda laughed a little. It was a real laugh. "So why do I...we...do all this?" said Jen. She was ready to laugh...but also to cry. Brenda bit her lip and said, "I have no idea." "Like...it's society...culture...everything...telling us to have sex...no strings attached...just sex, sex, sex." The words came easily to Jen..she had said them to herself so many times. "Yah....I know," said Brenda. Tears started to form in her eyes. Jen's own eyes were reddening. "Yah." They tried to hold back but the sniffles started coming. "It's like...." Brenda said, "it's like....I try so hard...I really try so hard...I pray about it...everything...but I can't stop." "I...I know..Brenda." A tear ran down Jen's cheek. "Is it...is it guilt...or brainwashing..." Brenda paused and let the words linger...between tears and sniffles. "Some say it's just some hangup we have to get over..." Jen said. Brenda straightened up. "That is bullshit." "Yah." "Like...fuck anyone...and cut it off from emotions." "Or pretend you can keep all the different stuff in your head...that it can all work together." "Bullshit," Brenda repeated herself. "Maybe it works for some people...but yah, I agree...not for me,' Jen said. "Yah...maybe it does, but not me either." They were quiet again. The tears had stopped...replaced by...almost anger...frustration...anger at themselves. Jen continued. "It's bullshit either way isn't it....pretend sex is no big deal...or pretend you can just be happy and married and not want anything else...isn't it?" "Yup," said Brenda. "And sometimes...I just...we just...want to have some fun where nobody gets hurt..." said Jen. "Including ourselves." She paused again. "Right?" Brenda turned and looked at her. "Yup again." Silence. Then she asked, "But do you think that's possible?" Jen replied from the depths of her soul. "No." "Me neither," said Brenda. "I mean...I want it so badly to be that way...but..." "It can't...it won't...I mean...not with us.." "I know." A tear again. "I mean...Brenda..." Jen took a breath. "I want so badly for us to be lovers..." She meant it. She could feel...the arousal... Brenda started to cry. "But...I...you...we know...." "It doesn't work that way," choked Brenda. Jen began to cry too. They sat in the van...crying...emotionally draining themselves...yet so alive too...reaching an intimacy they had never had before. "Holy shit...I want to fuck right now," said Brenda. "But.." "Me too," said Jen. "But...yah..." "Jen...I'm not going to even though I totally want to. I mean, I want to get naked and fuck and everything with you but I am...I am NOT going to." "Me neither. I mean, we have to stop, Brenda..we have to stop somewhere." "Absolutely." Their bond was shared. They both meant every word they said. They fell quiet. They looked at each other for a long time...smiling...sniffling...a little crying...and just looking...knowing...sharing their mutual bond. The van was silent. It was Brenda that reached out first...to gently stroke Jen's knee...light and reassuring. Jen moved a bit closer...smiling at the touch...and soon her hand moved on top of Brenda's. The touch was beautiful...the first they had ever done...and just gentle...not sexual...but a loving, mutual, human touch...so tiny compared to the emotional rollercoaster they had been riding. Their hands kept moving...lightly...gently... They shifted toward each other...still not saying anything. Jen moved her other hand onto Brenda's shoulder. Brenda's hand started to move faster.. They leaned close together...closed their eyes..and kissed. Not a friend's kiss...not a deep lover's kiss...but something intimate and special again. And they didn't stop. Their hands and bodies came together...a lopsided mismatched hug over bucket sets and cupholders...feeling the electric touch of each other's body...the bodies they had so exposed to each other's minds and lusts. They could feel each other's curves and breasts and bodies and their own deep wetness...arousal...longing and lusting...but knew this wasn't the place....the time...that it would never be. But even as they touched and hugged and murmured without words...they remembered the flames of passion...the lust...the nakedness...the sex, sex, sex...mutual masturbation...the bare breasts...licking pussies. And they each thought...very hard...about just touching a little further...a little fondling...a little caressing...just a little... But they didn't. The touch was loving...wonderful...and almost magical...the way they knew just what to do...how far to go...perfectly responding to each other. And the other thoughts...very alive in the back of their minds...stayed there. Stayed there. Where they belonged. Their lips separated...and they held each other gently for a while, eyes still closed. Then gently...feeling each other's every move and response...they came apart...returning back...still quiet. "Jen...that was perfect...just what I needed." "Oh yes." "Like...your touch...finally touching you...but still...you know..." Jen laughed. "Totally." Brenda laughed too. Rollercoaster. Pause. More silence. "So..." said Jen. "Maybe it's...maybe it's time to go." She didn't want to. She wanted this moment...this perfect moment...to last forever. "Yeah," said Brenda. "Yeah." She went on, "But..." Jen was quiet for a bit. Then she said, "But what are we going to do...about..." "About all this...about us..." "I have no idea." "Me neither." More quiet. Then Jen took her deepest breath yet. "Brenda...this is really stupid...but..." She paused. "Anything, Jen." "Do you...want to pray? Really...quick." Brenda almost bawled. "Yes." Jen closed her eyes really quick and tight. "Jesus...Jesus, please help us know what to do..and to do it. Amen." Brenda added, "Yes, Lord...please. Please. Amen." They opened their eyes. Jen said, "I'd better go." It was time. She wanted to get out of there, away...quick, fast. "Yah," said Brenda. "Um...well...let's just see...okay?" "Okay." Jen opened the door. "Bye....Jen." "Bye....Brenda..." They lingered and looked in each other's eyes for one last time. Then they both laughed. Jen got out and closed the door. She walked back over to her own van, looking back repeatedly at Brenda sitting in her driver's seat. They waved as Jen got in. They turned their keys and drove...toward the same exit. Brenda was first at the light and waved out her window at Jen in her rear view mirror. Jen waved back and smiled. The light turned green and Jen watched as Brenda took the first onramp, and Jen the other. Jen drove home in silence...no radio, no CDs...barely any thoughts. Just...what? Peace? A silent peace. She and her hubby made love that night...their beautiful, mutual, perfect love between them. She didn't log on for three days...but finally...curious...and there was a quick note from Brenda: "Hey Jen. Hope you're doing well. Talk to you soon." They never chatted again. THE END