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Mr. Lewis

By: CrackedChaos



Hey there readers! This is my 2013 holiday contest submission, so please vote and leave comments-they're always appreciated. I've been itching to submit into the interracial romance category, and I'm happy that I finally have the opportunity to do so. 

Also, for those of you who are following my series We Are the Day, fear not, I am still working on it! I took a breather from it to focus on this submission and to "get my head in the game" for the next chapter. Things are going to be heating up in the vampire world and I needed to wrap my head around it before I started hammering the keys. That being said, if you haven't read the series yet, please feel free to take a peek at it!

Happy Reading and Happy Holidays!

[[CC]] 

*

Homecoming

"Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin'? In the lane, snow is glistenin'-."

"Yeah, no. Not in California, honey," I said to the female voice that was crooning through my ear buds. I immediately changed the Pandora station. 

It wasn't that I had an aversion to Christmas music, I just didn't want to hear about a winter wonderland, I wanted to experience one for myself; that's why I was on an airplane headed back to Bloomington, Illinois for Christmas. It had been three months since I was in Illinois; I left shortly after the rumors broke out. Some of them were true, most of them were false; but, they all had one thing in common: people assumed that I and my history teacher, Ryan Lewis, were involved in a sexual tryst when I was underage; which was the other reason I was headed back to Bloomington. Ryan Lewis and I had nothing but a strictly teacher-student relationship, but after my three month exile to California, I was left wondering if our two years together meant something more. 

It was hard to pin down when my attraction to Mr. Lewis started, but I believed it was a slow trickle. During my sophomore year, I noticed that he was unlike the other teachers; he dressed for his age-young, fresh, and timely, his brown hair was fashionably styled into a disorderly faux hawk, his smile set the world on fire...then my junior year, I noticed the inside of the man. His heart was made of pure gold. He cared for his students and their learning and he had a genuine desire to see every student succeed whether they loved history or not. During the time of my senior year I spent at Bloomington High, I put all of those things together, and then tried to ignore them. He was my teacher after all. I respected him and his position too much to take our camaraderie any further than where it was; I already spent too much time with him after school and on weekends as it were. We would meet at the local Barnes and Noble to discuss my essays, test scores, and basically anything else that was history related. In that respect, I guess I could see where and why the rumors began to break out. People saw us together...and a lot. 

And, apparently, seeing us together equated us engaging in sexual intercourse. I chuckled to myself quietly while shaking my head. The whole ordeal was easy enough to laugh at after the fact, but the initial rumor breakout had consequences that weren't so humorous.

My parents got wind of the rumors and quickly interceded by shipping me on the first plane out of the state; and it made me livid. I was just beginning a class that I waited three years to take, I had my best friends whom I couldn't live without, and then there was Mr. Lewis, of course. My parents had barred all types of contact I had with him and somehow they managed it all the way from Illinois. All of the emails I tried to send him were returned to me, I couldn't reach him by phone because my parents swapped my old phone out and erased his number before I left; it was like California was my own giant prison cell. My aunt and uncle did their best to make me happy; I got to take dance classes with professional choreographers, I went to the beach whenever I wanted, they fixed me up with a car...and when none of that made me smile, they took the liberty of fixing me up with weekly shrink meetings.

I resented my parents for that because if it weren't for them, I wouldn't have been unhappy in the first place; but I somewhat forgave them in the wake of arriving over the threshold of the Bloomington Regional Airport. I breathed in the scent of winter air, felt the sting of cold biting at my cheeks and nose; I was home, and I was on a mission. 

"Hey, bitch!" I recognized her voice before I noticed her standing over by the baggage claim area. A smile lit up my face as I passed the gawking passengers to get to my best friend, Cori.

I pulled her into a tight hug. "What are you doing here? I thought my parents were picking me up."

"They sent me in their stead. They're in Barbados on a company trip or somethin' and I'm spending Christmas with you since my mom found some new guy to shack up with. He's taking her to meet his family and the angsty, teenage daughter wasn't invited," she said, picking up my small carry-on bag and leading me out of the airport. I stepped into the dark, winter night, the wind carrying my hair as I breathed in deeply again. 

"I'm sorry, Cor; but I guess it worked out for us." I told her as she stopped in front of a red Cadillac SRX that had a green bow on the hood. I was sure my confusion was apparent on my face.

"Your birthday gift," she grinned, "and there are plenty more in that big ass house of yours, plus all of the Christmas gifts. It pays to have a birthday right before Christmas, apparently," Cori rambled on as I gawked at the car, unable to say anything. Cori was still talking when I finally turned my attention back to her. "They must feel sorry for sending you away like they did."

"It looks more like a 'we read the gynecologist report. Congrats for not fucking your history teacher' gift rather than a birthday present," my anger flared just thinking about the incident. Right after I stepped out of the plane that carried me to California, my aunt took me to a gynecologist to have me "checked out". The examination led to me being on the pill, per my parents' request; if I refused, I lost my cell phone, and in turn, my contact with my best friends. 

I made my way to the bow, ripping it off with unnecessary force. "And why do I need a new car anyways? I have a perfectly good BMW in the stupid garage."

Cori wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "Hey, none of that now. We're gonna have a good time together, starting with tonight. We're gonna watch old Christmas movies and drink this new hot chocolate recipe that I found." 

"Still nursing that Pinterest addiction?" I sighed while sitting behind the wheel of my new car. I had to admit, the vehicle was luxury and class on wheels. If I wasn't careful, I'd end up loving the thing and have to call my parents to thank them.

"Shut up, Dani," she laughed. "I got a few recipes for us to try since we're on our own for dinner."

"So, yes, you're still addicted."

"Pinterest for life, baby."

My room wasn't the same as I left it, I noticed upon arriving to the house; I left it a mess on purpose. In hindsight, it was a childish move, but I didn't care. Being childish was also sending your seventeen-year-old daughter across the country because some rumors about her broke out. My parents always taught me that I should never run from my problems; but, as soon as times got a little uncomfortable, I was on the first plane away from what they viewed as a problem. 

I met Cori downstairs after unpacking and settled on the couch while she brought out a large, plastic binder labeled "Pinterest". There were pages upon pages of crafts, recipes, and other odds and ends that she printed before sticking them into that monstrously thick book. We flipped through her "Christmas" section, putting together different recipes that we wanted to try for our holiday meal; we could've fed an army with all of the dishes that we chose, which was a good thing considering that my other best friend, Dustin, had been invited for Christmas dinner. 

"So they left all of these for me?" I asked, tapping a gift with my foot as we made our way to the kitchen to scope out the inventory. I was sure we had close to nothing from the list of ingredients that we needed, but it didn't hurt to look just in case. 

"Some are for me and Dustin. It was funny watching your mom try to wrap gifts; she had no clue what to do," Cori chuckled, "I took mercy on her and wrapped them so she wouldn't have to."

I chuckled with Cori because I could see the truth in that story; my mom was never creative or hands-on. Her mind worked in mergers, acquisitions, and bank statements. I think that's why she and I rarely got along. 

We did as Cori promised and sat in front of the television while drinking her Pinterest recipe, but I was just going through the motions and the night couldn't end fast enough. I loved Cori and I missed her dearly, but I was a girl on a mission. The moment we parted for the night, I tore my room apart. 

There had to be a syllabus, a note, some scrap of paper...something with his number on it. I went to my closet where I kept my old backpack and all but ripped it out of the closet. It was basically empty, which angered me. I found my old notebook that still had notes from my classes; but there were no remnants of Mr. Lewis anywhere. I had taken classes with him since I was sixteen, but all of his information had miraculously disappeared from my room. I internally cursed my parents. 

I threw my backpack into the closet and shut the door with excessive force. I could've texted Dustin and asked for Mr. Lewis's number, but I was sure the only number Dustin might have would be the one to his desk, and that wouldn't help me while everyone was on winter break. By the time I figured that I could ask for his email, I was too tired to care. 

The morning came, and I looked out the window, much like a child would on Christmas. My heart sank because there was still no snow. "So much for my winter wonderland," I yawned before rolling out of bed. "And so much for my diabolical plan to see Mr. Lewis," I sighed. To be honest, I didn't even have a diabolical plan when my aunt and uncle told me that I was going home for the holidays; mediocre was the more appropriate word for my plan. In essence, the plan was to get here, and see Mr. Lewis as soon as possible. That within itself was a feat. Bloomington isn't as big and complex as Chicago but it's not a small town by any means; I could go the entire seventeen days of my visit and not see him once.

"Thank you, mom and dad," I said sourly as I applied some lip gloss in the mirror. I put the tube of gloss down, irritated not only with my parents, but myself. There I was, lamenting my separation from Mr. Lewis from the moment I woke up when my best friend was in her room getting ready to go to work. I hadn't seen her for three months and I was thrown into a tizzy over a man that probably didn't even want me. 

I went downstairs and gave Cori a hug so tight that it hurt my arms and told her how glad I was that we were finally reunited, then we parted ways for the day. 

"See ya later, darkie!" she called out of the window of her Jeep. 

While others found that nickname socially unacceptable, I laughed about it, remembering when Cori and I met on the first day of kindergarten, which prompted the use of the name.

"Why's your skin darker than mine?" she asked while poking my arm during snack time.

"It's because my parents are both brown," I explained. "And you're light because your mommy and daddy are white."

"I only have a mommy," she told me. "My daddy went away last week."

I remembered feeling bad for the little girl with a boy's name and flaming red hair. "Well, we can share my daddy if you want," I told her. We were inseparable from that day on. 

"Hi there, and welcome to Walmart!" The greeter waved and smiled as I grabbed a shopping cart. 

I smiled before turning my attention to the grocery list in my hand. It was a mile long and I still had items to add. Ever since I came home the previous night and saw the lack of holiday decorations, I knew that I wanted to spruce my place up. Also, the fact that I had been Mr. Lewis-centric ever since I hopped off of the plane had me itching to make it up to Cori, even though I was fairly certain that my preoccupation went unnoticed. I threw lights, velvet bows, stockings, and other holiday fixings into the cart, grinning down every aisle. By the time I stocked up on groceries, items were spilling over the sides of the cart. 

"Doing some major shopping, there?" The cashier eyed the cart with barely contained chagrin. I guess he was about to clock out for the day or something.

"Yeah. I'm making dinner and playing hostess for my best friends," I explained while producing the credit card my parents left me for the holidays. 

"Some heavy plastic you're packin'," the cashier continued in his strained attempt to make conversation while ringing up my items.

"My parents pack heavy plastic. They're out of town for Christmas, so they left me in charge of holiday spirit, in turn, their credit card."

"And you're home alone while they're away?"

"I'm not alone. One of my best friends is staying with me," I shrugged, "I didn't want to see my parents yet anyway. Long story," I said after registering his surprise. 

He looked genuinely interested in the sap story that was my life, but I was busy; even more than that, I didn't want to tell him. It was comforting that at least one person in Bloomington had no idea what was supposedly going on between Danica Matthews and Ryan Lewis. 

"Well, have a merry Christmas," the cashier told me. I all but snatched my receipt from him and made haste in my pursuit to the car. 

So as not to spoil the grocery items, I made a pit stop at my house to put all of the cold groceries away before heading out to purchase the rest of the items on my mental list. By midafternoon, I had purchased all of Cori and Dustin's gifts, and much to my pleasure, it was done with my own money. When I started my prison sentence in California, I made a vow to myself that I would not accept any money that my parents sent to me, so I went and got a job at Starbucks. I saved every penny that I could from my earnings; and, though it wasn't much, it was mine.

Owen's Nursery, my final stop, was packed with trees; I walked right past the fake ones. My family had owned one fake tree out of all of my seventeen Christmases, and we hated it. The thing was too plasticky looking and smelled like cardboard box. I weaved in and out of the maze of green, steadily getting swallowed up by the size of the trees. Near the back of the lot is where I found the tree that made my heart glow. If there wasn't going to be any snow outside, there was going to be some inside, and on my tree none-the-less. The pine needles and branches were meticulously painted with some type of foamy, glittery spray that replicated freshly-fallen snow. I had to have it.

"You like this one?" 

Every muscle, bone, and cell of my body froze as I heard a voice that I would recognize anywhere come from behind me. I hadn't heard him in months, but it was as if we had just got done with an after school history debate. 

Did he not recognize me? Why didn't he say something?

How could he when he was looking at the back of my head? I chastised myself. 

"Miss?"

"I've always hated when you called me that. 'Miss Matthews, are you paying attention? Miss Matthews, do you have the answer?' Or, there's my ultimate favorite, 'Miss Matthews, don't curse in my class.' You make me feel prematurely old."

"Danica?" Mr. Lewis sounded winded as I turned around to face him.

He pulled me into a hug and let me go much too soon. He smelled good, as always; though, there was a new hint of pine to his scent. It complimented him well. His eyes darted around the expanse of trees, probably scoping out whether or not anyone had noticed our embrace. It made my heart hurt. "Where have you been?" His tone was borderline accusatory. 

I placed my hands on my hips, much to my annoyance. My mother did the same thing when she was irritated or angry. "Like you don't know. Then again, maybe you don't seeing as you didn't even bother to contact me."

"I would have if I could, Danica. I tried calling, texting. I tried emailing you. It was useless. I went to the office to inquire of your whereabouts and, apparently, your parents demanded that I not be given any information about you. I went to Cori and she couldn't tell me anything. She said that if your parents got wind of any type of contact between us, they would shut your phone off and you wouldn't be able to talk to her," he shook his head while grabbing the hair at the nape of his neck. 

My hands slid off of my hip as guilt washed over me. "I moved to California. I tried emailing you. I would've tried calling or texting, but my parents took my fucking phone and gave me some crap ass one with no contacts."

"You still have the mouth of a sailor, Danica," Mr. Lewis sighed while rubbing his eyes. "And all of this over some petty rumors."

I shrugged. "We did spend a lot of time together."

"We did," he said, his eyes meeting mine. I had no idea what he was trying to find or communicate. 

"So what are you doing here?" I asked, hoping to move the conversation to less tense waters. 

"I work here."

"What?"

"It's just a part-time, holiday gig."

I should've known that; I knew everything else about Ryan Lewis. I knew that he was single and without children. I knew his favorite authors, color, and type of food; I knew more about him than most students ever cared to know about their teachers. 

"Need extra money for the holidays?" I asked.

"Not really, no. I just like the smell of pine trees," he laughed. "Plus, it gives me something to do during winter break. What're your plans for the holidays?"

"Spending time with Cori. Her mom is on an escapade and my parents are, thankfully, far away in Barbados," I rolled my eyes in remembrance of my parents and their extensive plots to keep me away from Mr. Lewis.

"Ah. Happy Belated birthday by the way. Eighteen now. Big step. Moving on to college, doing things." Red crept up Mr. Lewis's cheeks and neck as he looked at anything that wasn't me. It made my heart bang against my chest.

"You remembered?"

"Of course I did. You were my student for two years."

"Well, thanks. My parents bought me a remorse car."

"A what?" His eyebrows knit together, marking his confusion.

"They were remorseful, so they bought me a car," I shrugged.

"Do you forgive them?"

"I guess I have to. It's a Cadillac SRX," I said by way of explanation. 

"I would forgive them, too," he grinned. "So, I saw you diggin' on this tree. You taking it home today?"

"Yes, please. I'm gonna need some fixings for it, too. Do you have bulbs and stuff here?"

"Not the ones you would like."

I sighed. "Another trip to Walmart is in order. The cashier was so thrilled with me the last time."

I pulled my car over to where Mr. Lewis was so that he could put the tree into my trunk; but, I knew after observing the car and tree next to each other, it wouldn't work. So did Mr. Lewis.

"Well, it's too big."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I wanted to go all out for Cori and Dustin," I admitted, my shoulders sagging.

"Dustin?"

I turned to look at Mr. Lewis who was frowning. "Yeah. Dustin Hoffman from ancient civilizations, and every other history class that I've taken. My other best friend?"

Mr. Lewis seemed to relax some at my explanation. "Oh, yeah. I remember the kid."

"His parents are out of town, too. I didn't want him to be alone for Christmas," I explained, though I wasn't sure why I felt the need to.

"That's thoughtful of you."

"I wish I was thinking well enough to figure out how to get this tree in my car," I said, ignoring the undercurrent to Mr. Lewis's voice that I couldn't identify.


Mr. Lewis Ch. 02



Hey there, readers!

Let me just start off by saying that I was completely overwhelmed by the positive feedback I received on the first part of Mr. Lewis!! I genuinely worked hard on that story and to hear that so many people liked it was...I can't even describe....maybe "phenomenal" would be the correct word for it :-)

I didn't win the contest money, but I won something even better—support from all of you! Thanks again for the kind words and encouragement to continue!

Happy Reading!

[[CC]] <3

Surprise!

"So you...did it?" Cori asked as we sat on the couch in my bedroom, looking at the blank television. I should've turned it on for background noise, but it was a little late for that. "You actually...you know? Had sex with Mr. Lewis...?"

"God, Cori. Don't tell me you didn't hear it. I'm sure I was loud enough," I grumbled, my cheeks heating in embarrassment. Christmas was days ago but I only just mustered enough courage to tell Cori I was no longer a virgin.

"I heard most of it, but it's different with you actually saying it. Wow," she looked at me, mystified.

"Oh, come on. You know how I feel about him."

"What are you gonna do about Dustin?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, thrown by her question.

"Geez, Dan, the kid is in love with you."

"No he's not," I scoffed.

"You're so naïve, Danica," Cori shook her head.

"So, what? You think I made a mistake by sleeping with Ryan?"

"Tell me what happened."

I sighed heavily before answering. "He put his penis into my vagina, and it hurt."

Cori laughed so hard she almost fell off the couch. As much as I didn't want to laugh, I found myself chuckling as well.

"It only hurt for a little while," I corrected.

"I was talking about after Dani. Did you guys talk at all?"

"He forced me into conversation after round three."

Her eyebrows shot skyward. "Round three and a conversation...plus a necklace? He's got it bad."

"I hope so," I sighed, folding my hands into my lap. "He told me he wants to maintain a relationship when I go back to California. He said when I disappeared, it was as if he missed his one and only chance with me and he didn't like the feeling."

Cori squealed and grabbed my hands, her fiery curls of bouncing up and down with her excitement. "How did that make you feel? Were you happy?"

"Of course I was. I still am. I just wish we didn't have to be a secret, you know? Every girl wants to show off their hot, older boyfriend, but I can't."

"Not yet, Dani; but maybe life will work itself out to where you can someday."

I shrugged. "Maybe. I just don't want us to fade into nothing because we won't be seeing each other often."

"Well, I'm sure he'll come and visit, Dani. From what you said, it seems like he really wants you two to work out."

I hoped Cori was right. I hoped so much that it hurt my heart.

"Tell me more about Ryan's sexual prowess," she said.

My head snapped up in time to catch Cori grinning wickedly. I shook my head. "Oh my God...don't make me regret telling you, Cor."

"What? Me?" she feigned an innocent look.

I sighed. "Well, he's too well-endowed for a teacher."

Cori's eyes grew in size as her mouth popped open.

"I know, right. Teachers aren't supposed to be...they're not supposed to have...you know! I don't really have a frame of reference, but it was good after the pain subsided. Maybe too good."

"Orgasm?"

My face heated even further. "Yeah," I said, my voice small.

"How many?"

"Geez, Cori. I'm not sure. Toward the end they started to blend together. One after another, after another," I shrugged.

"Don't be so casual about it! That doesn't happen to the general female population, Danica! Geez," Cori dropped my hands before crossing her arms, "my first time should've been with a teacher!"

"Cori!"

"God. My first time was awful," she continued as if my mouth wasn't hanging wide open in shock. "The idiot kept poking around because he couldn't find where to put it. By the time he did find it, I didn't want to do it anymore but he insisted. It was terrible."

"I'm sorry, Cor. Maybe you'll find someone better."

"Ah, whatever. So...would you do it again?"

I grinned. "Yeah, I—,"

"Cori, Danica!"

My eyes grew to the size of tennis balls as my heart tried to tattoo itself on my chest.

"What the fuck?" I nearly shouted as I jumped off the couch.

"Girls, you in here?"

"Um, yes. We're in here, Mrs. Matthews," Cori answered for me.

My bedroom door swung open, revealing my mother on the other side. Her travels darkened her skin, but otherwise she looked as she always did. Her hair was tucked neatly into place. Her makeup was without flaw; but there was something different in her face than the last time I saw her—she wore a smile. "We came home a bit early to surprise you girls! How about an impromptu trip to the Keys?"

"Mom, I have to leave for California in a couple of days," I said, finally getting my voice to work.

"Oh, we can talk about that later. Our flight leaves in a couple hours—come on, pack a carry on. We can get you new swimsuits and all that when we get there."

"Are you sure, Mrs. Matthews? I don't want to intrude," Cori said, trying to sound enthused as she peeked at me from the corner of her eye.

"Nonsense! We wouldn't have you spend the rest of the holiday alone!"

"Your mother really does insist," my father said, poking his head in the door and rolling his eyes.

"We'll be ready within the hour," Cori said, smiling at my parents.

She was better at faking emotions than I was, but I found the strength to wait until they left the room before I panicked. "What the fuck am I gonna do, Cori?"

She paced in front of my couch, her hands in her hair. "I don't know, Dan. I don't know."

"These are my last few days in town, and I have to spend them with my parents! Ryan is gonna think that I'm backing out of our relationship. He's gonna think I only wanted him for sex. I'm not gonna get to tell him goodbye...it'll be like September all over again, except that Ryan and I are actually together this time...."

"Dani, calm down. None of that is gonna happen. Look, just text him what happened; I'm sure he'll understand. We can make a plan to get you guys together before we leave, or something. We'll figure it out."

"Do you think they know about me and Ryan and they wanted to get us as far apart as possible?"

She was shaking her head before I finished my question. "If that were the case, they'd just ship you straight back to California—no questions asked. Plus, they were in horribly good moods."

I took a deep breath before releasing it. Cori was right; if they even got a hint of suspicion that Ryan and I were merely in the same room, they'd have me on the first flight out of the state. If they knew we were having sex, they'd probably send me out of the country.

"You text Mr. Lewis while I pack us some stuff, okay?"

I nodded and took my phone from my pocket.

Ryan wasn't happy about me leaving, but he said it was probably a good idea for me to save face with my parents; if I seemed too eager to stay, they would think something was up. He was right, of course, but I didn't want to hear it. I hated when he was right, even more so after we started our relationship. I wasn't sure if it was just me, but his gloating seemed more prevalent since I had become his girlfriend.

"Miss, can you please stow your phone away? The plane is about to take off," the flight attendant smiled at me. I grimaced in her direction.

"Dan," Cori chuckled from beside me.

"What? If she knew who I was talking to, she wouldn't have requested such an asinine task of me."

"And who are you talking to, anyway?" my mother asked, leaning forward in her seat to look across the aisle at me.

"Some guy named Andrew," I said. I had been rehearsing this line so much that it flowed from my lips with natural grace.

"Anybody we need to meet?" my father asked, his eyebrow cocked.

"Nope."

Cori looked at me, her eyes tight in the wake of her confusion.

"Ryan's middle name," I whispered my explanation.

"Smooth. Just enough of the truth in there to not be a complete lie."

I shot Ryan a quick text to let him know I was taking off before powering down my phone. "Everything about my life is one big lie," I sighed before crossing my arms like a petulant child.

The hotel we stayed at was top notch with an ocean view— I was sure it cost my parents a pretty penny; this made me even more suspicious. They came home early from a trip to Barbados just to round my best friend and me up to hit another vacation spot, and spend another fortune in the process? Something was going on, but I couldn't figure out what. Cori and Ryan insisted it couldn't be anything bad based on my parents' behavior, but nothing felt right from the moment they came home.

"You need to work on your front more, Dani. Your parents are gonna see right through you," Cori told me the second night of our stay.

"I'm trying, but I could be doing a lot of other things right now rather than trying to figure out what their game is."

"You mean, you could be having sex with Mr. Lewis?" Cori grinned.

"God. I get what he was saying about calling him 'Mr. Lewis'. It sounds like a bad porn flick," I groaned. "Teacher, oh teacher," I stuck my tongue out in disgust.

Cori laughed. "You would trade all of this," she motioned to the expanse of our suite, "for some sex with Ryan Andrew Lewis?"

"Of course I would. I love him."

Cori stopped smiling and stared at me...or past me. It was hard to tell. "Really?"

"The realest."

"Damn."

We didn't speak as I listened to the waves of the ocean lap against the shore beneath us, the gravity of what I just confessed hung in the air like perfume. I had never loved any man of the opposite sex outside of my family. It was an unusual feeling, but I welcomed it.

"Well, it's a good thing that we're here, then," Cori said, bringing me out of my internal contemplation.

"Why?"

"So he can miss you as much as you miss him. You can use this time to see how he really feels about you."

"And him saying that he wanted to try a long distance relationship gave you no indication of his feelings for me?"

"Guys will say anything in the heat of sex, Dan. I'm not saying that Mr. Lewis—,"

"Ryan."

Cori rolled her eyes. "Ryan. I'm not saying he's like that, but it's better to find out earlier on. Test him with the distance. See how he reacts. If he stops calling and texting, then he's probably not gonna last while you're in California; but if he initiates conversation and seems eager to talk to you, he means all of that sentimental stuff he said, and he's willing to work it out with you."

"Why do I have to play detective during this trip? I gotta figure out what my parents are up to while simultaneously deciphering Ryan's dedication to the relationship...this is craziness."

"Forget about your parents. I'm sure they'll tell you whatever they're up to sooner or later. You should probably forget about Ryan, too." She rushed to finish her statement when she saw the expression on my face. "If you leave him be, you'll get a better idea of what type of boyfriend he'll be."

"I get it," I nodded. "If he's texting every five minutes, he's clingy; but it he texts every five days, he's disinterested."

"Right. See, you got it," Cori said as she slid into her wedge sandals.

"Where would I be without you, Cori?"

"It's a good thing we never have to find out. Now come on, your parents have been waiting forever for us."

I shook my head and grabbed my clutch purse off the bed.

Dinner was relaxed and enjoyable, much to my surprise. My parents regaled us with the details of their exploits in Barbados, making Cori and I absolutely envious; they assured us that once we graduated college they would treat us to a vacation there. I couldn't wait.

"That's such a charming necklace," my mother commented at random, making me drop my fork.

"You think so?" I said, lightly fingering my Christmas gift from Ryan.

"I thought she just had to have it," Cori said. My head whipped around in her direction. It was one thing for me to lie to my parents, but I didn't want her in on the charade, too. My mouth drooped into a pout when I realized she already was.

My mother cocked her head to the side and smiled. "Oh, how nice of you, Cori. It looks lovely against her skin."

"It does," my father agreed, taking my hand into his. "You cold, Dani? Your hands are like ice."

"A little," I lied. "I probably should've worn something heavier for the night."

"I want you two to close that balcony door tonight," my mother said in the voice she used with her clients. "The chill will make you sick, especially since it's supposed to rain tonight."

"We will, Mom," I said, releasing my father's hand and picking up my fork. "The food is really good here," I commented, knowing that my parents would talk for the rest of the meal about that menial topic.

It worked better than I imagined; they were comparing the food in the Keys to what they ate in Barbados when Cori and I went to our room for the night. As soon as the door clicked shut, I pulled my phone from my clutch. There was a text from Ryan and I opened it with haste.

*Missing you*

I smiled as my fingers drummed across the screen.

*I'm pretty sure I miss you more* I wrote before attaching a picture of myself sporting a pouty face.

His reply came in the form of a picture baring his erect manhood. I gasped and almost dropped the phone.

"What's wrong, Dani?" Cori asked.

"Nothing. Nothing."

"Okay," she smirked and left our room to sit in the living area.

I waited until she was completely out of sight to reopen the message. My flesh heated as I studied Ryan's girth. "No wonder it hurt so much," I mumbled before reading his message.

*I think I win the "missing you" contest*

I typed back, *Maybe. You can't be sending me pictures like that. I almost killed my new phone*

*New phone? Well you shouldn't send me pics of you looking all cute and pouty :p*

*Duly noted. It's not really a new phone. It's just my old one that I got back*

*Nice. Your other phone was crap*

*Jerk*

*I plan on it*

I gasped before looking around the room, my face heated.

*Ryan...*

*What* He attached a picture of his hand wrapped around his manhood. I almost spontaneously combusted.

*You're crazy*

*About you. What do you have on?*

I sent a picture of myself before stealing away to the bathroom. I felt too exposed being in Cori's and my shared bedroom.

*You look amazing, Danica*

*Thanks. You do, too* I grinned wickedly.

*Oh, do I?*

*You always do*

*Even for a teacher?*

I groaned, remembering my stupid remark from Christmas.

*Even for a teacher ;P*

His response didn't come right away, so I filled the bath tub with water and some of the hotel's bubble bath and salts. I hadn't heard a response come in from Ryan, so I slipped my clothes off and climbed into the tub. My mind traveled back to the last bubble bath I took and smiled—it was Christmas Day. So much had changed since that time: I was no longer a virgin, I was in a relationship with the man of my dreams, my parents were actually kinda cool to be around. Life was starting to look up for me...it was just too bad that it would change all over again when Cori and I left for California in a few days.

My phone vibrated on the chair next to the tub, making me jump. It was a video message from Ryan. I hit the play button and was rewarded with his voice. "Hey baby, I just wanted to say hi...and I miss you. I wanted to give you something to think about tonight when you go to bed," the message said before the camera switched focus and zoomed in on his crotch. Thankfully, I was leaning out of the tub, otherwise my phone would've been fried. The camera switched focus to his face, which was shimmering with sweat. He ran his fingers through his damp hair and licked his lips before talking again. "Goodnight, Miss Matthews."

My head snapped back, "What?" I typed back in haste. He sounded breathy and seductive; it reminded me of the time we spent together in my bedroom. The jerk knew what he was up to.

*YOU TEASE!*

*My intention wasn't to tease*

Two can play that game, I thought before washing my body and draining the tub. I threw on a towel, ventured to the bedroom, and grabbed the laciest bra and underwear set I could find before slipping them on. "Ha!" I said after snapping the picture and attaching my text.

*Goodnight, Mr. Lewis*

*Damn it, Danica*

I grinned as I powered my phone down for the night. I almost always left it on, but I knew I would be tempted to respond to his message, and that'd give him the upper hand. I wanted to take Cori's advice and make him miss me as much as I missed him.

"What're you so cheesy about?" Cori asked as I pulled back the covers to my bed and climbed in.

"You give some good advice," I said before turning onto my side.

The morning came and I woke up grinning. Cori swore that Ryan and I had phone sex the night before, but I told her what really happened.

"Mr. Lewis is a horny bastard. I'm proud of you for playin' it cool though. He's got to be missing the hell outta you by now," Cori offered her hand for a high-five and I took it with gusto.

"What are you two celebrating in here?" my mother asked as she poked her head into our bedroom.

"The weather," Cori said, smoothly. "It's the perfect day to hit the beach."

"It is, and that was our plan for today. That, and dolphin encounters. Tonight there's going to be a New Year's Eve party in the hotel lounge that should be fun. Your father and I thought we could hang there for a while after we all had dinner on the terrace."

"Oh my God, Mom, that sounds amazing," I smiled while slipping my feet into a pair of flip flops.

"Good. We'll be out here when you two are ready," my mother smiled before closing the door.

"I don't know what you were so worried about, Dan. This trip is shaping up to be the best thing ever," Cori said, wrapping her arm around my shoulder.

"You were right. I think they just really missed me and wanted to make up for the past; though, they didn't have to do all of this," I said, tossing my phone into my beach tote.

My mother and father kept us busy for the entire morning and well into the afternoon. We started off in the hotel's restaurant with breakfast before traveling by Jet Ski to the dolphin encounter location. It worked out well for us in that there were no other families at the site, so we were able to spend more time with the animals.

After lunch, my mother suggested that "us girls" go shopping for the New Year's Eve event while my father went to play a few rounds of golf, to which he vehemently agreed—my dad hated shopping so much I was certain he'd cut off his right hand to avoid going. It took Cori and me minimal time to find outfits, but my mother was a different story. She had a bad criticism for every outfit she tried on until we hit a little boutique hidden amongst all of the bigger tourist spots. Her problem, then, was choosing between several outfits that she loved. While she was still fussing in the dressing room, I took the opportunity to check my phone. I barely switched the power on before messages and missed call alerts came flooding in. They were all from Ryan.

I shot him a quick text before turning to Cori who was also busy on her phone. "Hey, keep her busy for a minute," I whispered as I waved my phone. She nodded and I took off toward a bench outside of the boutique.




Mr. Lewis Ch. 02



I dialed Ryan's number. He answered on the second ring. "Danica."

"What's wrong, Ryan? Did I—,"

"You're on my class roster, Danica."

My heart stopped before pounding into my chest with an assaulting rhythm. "What? No way. There's obviously some mistake."

"How so? I'm looking at your name right here. Danica L. Matthews."

"Maybe they just have it from last semester when I registered for classes. It has to be a mistake, Ryan. My mom was just talking to Cori and me about California this morning at breakfast. We're all set to leave on the fourth."

He sighed before speaking again. "Okay. Okay," he blew out a breath of air that rustled in the phone. "I'm sorry for bothering you so much. I just had to know."

"It's cool. I'm sorry I couldn't get to my phone sooner. I had it off and I was busy all morning."

"What've you been up to?" he asked, seeming to regain some of his gusto as I lost all of mine.

"We had breakfast, then we went jet skiing over to some resort thing to swim with dolphins. We had lunch, then my mom decided to take us shopping for some party tonight."

"A party?"

"Yeah. It's at the hotel."

"And your parents are going to be there?"

"Yes," I said slowly.

"Good," he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Why is that good?"

"Because I don't want you going off to a New Year's Eve party with only Cori. There are tons of men out there looking to drug and rape girls like you two. And with your parents around you can't drink."

I laughed. Ryan knew I didn't drink, but his concern for my, and my best friend's, safety warmed me. "You don't have to worry, Cori and I will be on our best behavior."

He laughed too. "Now see, that worries me."

"Awe come on, we're not that bad. Look, I have to go," I said as Cori gave me the "wrap it up" signal with her index finger through the shop window. "I'll call or text when I get a chance."

"Of course."

"Bye." I hung up and walked over to the boutique and whispered to Cori, "We may have trouble."

My mother left the register at that moment, effectively ending any type of conversation I wished to have with Cori. I was on pins and needles for the entire afternoon as my mother and father laid about the beach. I made an excuse of wanting a drink to get away from them and relay to Cori what Ryan told me over the phone.

"I haven't gotten the idea that they were going to change their minds about California, Dan. But so what if they do? You'll be in town with Ryan and we can graduate with the people we hate the most," she tried to cheer me up, but I had a horrible gut feeling about it all.

"It's gonna be over with Ryan and me if that happens, Cori. You know that. He wouldn't choose this relationship over his career, and I wouldn't want him to. God, if this is true, I don't know what I'm gonna do."

"Just relax, Dani. It has to be a mistake. I mean, we still have our flight booked to California and I'm all packed to go." I must not have looked too convinced because she continued on. "Your parents never do things last minute, if they were enrolling you at BHS, you would have known it by now."

I had to give her that. My parents' pictures should have been put in the dictionary next to the word "proactive". "We'll see what happens," I said as I grabbed my iced tea from the counter.

We spent another hour at the beach before my mother was itching to get in the shower and ready herself for the night's festivities. I was grateful; at least while in the comfort of my room I could think without having a million questions thrown at me. I showered and dressed in a daze, barely noticing when Cori sat me in the bathroom to apply my makeup. When she finished, I complimented her on a job well done and continued to sit in the chair. My fear had finally crippled me. I sat, unmoving as Cori weaved around me, until the buzzing of my phone against the counter brought me out of my trance. Of course it was Ryan.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," he hesitated. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I lied. "Just getting ready for the party."

"Oh, okay. Well, I was calling to let you know I'm going out with some of the guys tonight. It's nothing major, just a couple of drinks and whatnot."

"Okay."

"You sure everything's alright?"

I tried to lighten my voice. "Yeah, everything is fine. Just kinda beat. We've been busy all day. I'll be glad when I can lay down for the night."

"All right, well, I won't bother you tonight then. I've had the feeling I've been too clingy anyway."

"No, no," I said, real emotion finally making itself known in my voice.

"I kinda have been. But when you've wanted something so badly and for so long...you don't want it to get away. It's like it's almost too good to be true."

"I know what you mean. Don't worry about me. Have fun tonight, I'll talk to you tomorrow or something."

"Okay. Talk to you later, baby."

I hung up as tears flooded my eyes.

Cori reapplied my makeup in silence before we went out for the night. As we went through dinner and part of the party, I was becoming more grateful for Cori's presence. She was charming the pants off my parents and keeping me in the shadows so I could sulk without too much attention being brought to me—it was about five minutes to midnight when my parents finally called for my immediate attention.

My mother and father gripped hands over the table as they smiled at me. "Danica, we are so proud of you," my mother said, her eyes warming as she looked at me. "Though, we haven't always been the best parents—,"

"Mom..."

"No, Dani. It's true. We sent you across the country over some petty teenage rumors and didn't even bother to get your take on things." My mother's eyes filled with tears as she dug through her purse. She handed Cori and me manila envelopes before blotting her eyes. "We believed the lies before we believed our own daughter. You have no idea how sorry we are, Dani; for that, and everything we put you through as a result."

My trip to the gynecologist flew before my eyes, making me shudder.

"Go ahead, open your envelopes," my dad said, rubbing my mother's shoulders.

Sure enough, encased in the envelope was my relationship's death sentence—my class schedule for Bloomington High School. Ryan's name popped out as if it were printed in bold, red ink. "Seventh hour ancient civilizations class," I said, not even trying to sound enthusiastic.

"We knew how much you wanted to take that class, so we enrolled you in it," my father said, his chest poked out.

"And also to let you know that we trust you," my mother said, a fresh wave of tears brimming her eyes.

I finally couldn't contain myself and let tears fall from my eyes, too. Thankfully, my parents took it as a sign of gratefulness rather than what it really was, a farewell to my relationship and the only man I had ever loved. Cori grabbed my hand under the table which only made me cry more.

I wanted to cling to the words Cori said earlier about Ryan being happy of my parents' choice to reenroll me at Bloomington High, but I knew it was a vain hope. When Ryan answered the phone and told me of his class roster, I knew all the nails on the coffin of our relationship had been laid—the tone of his voice told me everything I needed to know. He was detached, sad; his voice lacked the warmth and sensuality it usually had when he talked to me.

The countdown to the end of the year had begun in the background, the entire ballroom counting with the time clock that boasted itself on the oversized projector. When the clock struck midnight the ballroom went into a frenzy. Couples kissed, singles downed their shots, friends hugged, and there I was with tears streaming down my face.

*

I threw my backpack over my shoulder before bidding my parents good morning and leaving the house. The drive to school was silent apart from the traffic that surrounded me. Even that noise was borderline too much. I pulled into the student lot and waited for Cori to arrive; I was earlier than planned due to my sleepless night. I tossed and turned into the wee hours of the morning until it was an acceptable time for me to start getting ready for school.

I sipped my Starbucks hot chocolate, not tasting it, as I looked at all of my classmates leave their cars. I watched as some of the couples shared passionate embraces before walking hand in hand to the school's entrance. My heart sank at the realization that that would never be me and Ryan. I was sure our hand holding, kissing, and lovemaking was over. I just hoped it wouldn't be over for good.

Cori tapped on my window and I unlocked the door. She sat down and gave me the "I'm sorry" face. I'd been seeing it too often from her when she was around me.

"So, what'd he say?"

I cringed. "I haven't told him yet."

"Danica!"

"I know, I know. I just didn't know what to do, and at least this way when he breaks up with me, he has to do it to my face."

"You don't really think he's going to dump you, do you?"

I gave her the "what do you think?" face.

"For real?"

"The realest," I said with a sigh.

"I think he'll be glad you're here, but sad because you two will have to be even more careful around each other and everyone else."

"That would be plausible if he wasn't actually my teacher. I have him seventh hour, Cori. There's no way he'd continue a relationship with me and be my teacher. It's morally and ethically wrong."

She stayed silent as more cars pulled into the lot. Dustin pulled up beside us, our cue to move on to class. He bid us good morning and the three of us made the trek to the building in the snow. Cori and Dustin discussed classes while I scanned the student center for any sign of Ryan. I breathed a sigh of relief when he was nowhere to be seen; that didn't mean that he wouldn't know of my presence, especially with the way my classmates swarmed around me.

"Hey, Danica!"

"Hey, you're back!"

"Look, it's Danica!"

I waved, but tried to keep my head down as much as possible. I knew it would be useless—by the time seventh hour rolled around, Ryan would have heard a million times over that I was back. I drifted through my classes, barely registering what they were and who taught them and was grateful when my lunch reprieve came. I plopped into a chair as Cori sat down with her tray.

"Not hungry?"

"Of course not," I said, putting my head into my hands.

"Oh fuck me. Here comes Beth-Ann," Cori said.

"Well, hell."

"Well look who it is!" Beth-Ann said in her fake southern drawl. She moved to Illinois when she was three, there was no way she could've still held on to her southern accent, if she ever developed one. "I heard you were back in town, but we never ran into each other. I guess there's a hint of truth to some rumors," she said, a wicked gleam in her eyes.

"Most of them, yes, but some are complete bullshit," I said, not in the mood to pretend.

She went on as if my demeanor didn't faze her. "I bet California was great! The sun, the palm trees...the hot guys on the beach. You probably hate it here, don't you?"

"Starting to."

"Well, I'll leave you to your lunch," she said as she sashayed away.

"Just like her mom, ugh," Cori said.

"If I had any shred of hope that Ryan hadn't figured out I was back, that has went all the way down the tubes. Beth-Ann's mouth is far too big for her face."

Cori cringed. "Secrecy was never on your side, Dan. You're the talk of the school."

"Fuck me."

Seventh hour came way too fast, and I was facing it alone. Cori hadn't completed the prerequisites for the course and Dustin had already completed the class. I took a deep breath and walked into the room. Ryan looked like he had been hit by a bus. His hair was messy from where he had been grabbing it, his eyes were sunken and dull...I had to look away.

"Dani, hey!"

"Hey," I turned to Erin Coupe and tried to smile. At least I knew one person in this class. It helped that she was a talker and would keep my occupied.

"So, you're back! How was California?" she asked, bubbly as ever and bouncing out of her seat.

"I thought I hated it, until I came back here," I sighed.

Erin frowned momentarily before a wide grin broke out over her face. "I'd hate this little old town if I had lived in California, too. It has to be awesome. The culture there is so different than ours, right?"

"You wouldn't even believe it if I told you," I grumbled, staring ahead at the other side of the room.

"Wow. But you can always go to college there!"

"I could."

Ryan called the class to order, but I continued to stare at the opposite wall. He went over the syllabus and some other boring stuff, but I couldn't tune him out when he started discussing the final project. We were to partner up with someone and give a presentation about one of the civilizations of our choosing. Despite the grim situation I was faced with, my heart began to leap excitedly at the prospect of the project.

"You and I will be partners, 'kay?" Erin said.

I nodded and smiled. At least I would be partnered with someone that actually liked history, and I wouldn't be forced to do all the grunt work alone.

Ryan gave us time to pick partners and flip through our books to find a civilization that interested us. From the conversations I heard, most students were trying to pick one of the latter civilizations so they had time to procrastinate on the presentation; it made me smile. Erin handed in our civilization proposal and we waited to see if it would be approved.

Ryan gave a half-smile before he spoke to the class. "Erin and Miss Matthews have chosen Pompeii for their project. Very daring as this is one of the very first topics we discuss in this class. You have a little under three weeks to comprise the project, ladies, but I'm sure it'll be nothing short of perfection." I couldn't hold back my smile. Maybe there was hope for us yet.

I watched Ryan as he made several groups "rock, paper, scissors" for their projects, and as the hour went by, he seemed to become more like the Ryan I knew. It was a few minutes until the final bell, and I was dying for the day to end. I had to talk to Ryan and see what his thoughts were. I had to see where we stood as a couple. Erin was talking to me about what part each of us would do for the project, but I was barely listening. I was too busy thinking of what I would say to Ryan and how we could make our relationship work with him being my teacher again.

In that moment, I knew I had been lying to myself. I did expect, and want, Ryan to stay with me despite his status as my teacher. If he really meant all of those things he said to me and if he really liked me, then I figured he would. I thought back over every word he had uttered to me, in the heat of sex, over the phone, and through text; my confidence began to build. No man could say all of those things and turn around and break up with a girl. Only a cold-hearted person could do that.

The bell finally rang and students filed out of the classroom. "Danica, a moment, please?" my heart skipped a beat when I heard Ryan's voice come from behind me. Erin waved goodbye to me as I sat back into my desk.

I sat for a very long time.

I was beginning to think he forgot I was there until he finally looked at me.

"Surprise?" I said.

He frowned. "You knew this was going to happen, but you said nothing."

His tone chilled me. "I...I didn't know when you called me."

"But you knew long enough in advance to tell me."

I couldn't deny it. "Yes. It's not like me telling you earlier could've changed anything."

"You're right," he sighed while grabbing his hair.

"So."

"So, what?"

"Don't play dumb, Ryan."

"Danica. There's no way we can maintain a relationship in these conditions."

I had been preparing myself for the blow for days, but it still hurt more than I could've ever imagined. It was like being punched in the gut and kicked in the throat simultaneously.

"So, it's over. Just like that? No 'we'll try and work it out'? No nothing...?"

"What is there to try, Danica? Students and teachers are not supposed to date. Period."

"Fine. I'll drop your stupid class."

"That wouldn't solve anything, and you know it."

I closed my eyes, tilted my head back, and rubbed my forehead. "You know, if you just wanted a quick fuck, you could've just hit Beth-Ann up and spared me the humiliation of losing my virginity to someone that gives two whole shits about me." Silence, once again, filled the room and I was forced to open my eyes.

Ryan's eyes burned with heat so intense it could've only been due to anger. "Is this some type of joke? You're kidding me, right?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Obviously it was one big ass joke. Taking my virginity, making me fall in love with you. All of this was just hi-fucking-larious, right? Saturday Night Live material right there. Who knows, maybe my birth control was defective and I'll end up Teen Mom material."

"Cut the fucking shit, Danica. Right now. I know you're hurt, so am I, but—,"

"Spare me. You're hurt over this? Yeah right," I rose from the desk and snatched my backpack from the floor. "Well, don't let me keep you from doing whatever it is you need to do. Apparently, I've wasted too much of your time anyway. Hopefully you got everything you wanted out of me. Oh, and thanks for letting me know exactly how you feel. I just said I loved you and you continued to treat me like yesterday's meal." I flipped him the bird before leaving his room.

He called my name, but I didn't turn around. I walked as fast to my car as possible, fighting tears the entire way—it was like a delayed walk of shame. Cori was waiting for me next to her jeep; when she saw my face, she immediately ran over to me. I sank to my knees in the snow and bawled, heavy sobs racking my frame. Cori just held me and let me cry—she probably knew there were no words that could bring me comfort.

I wasn't sure how I ended up in my bed that night, but I felt the warmth of the covers around me; they did little to warm my heart, though. I folded my hands together and tucked them into my chest and felt the chill of cold metal on my tear-soaked skin. I ripped the necklace Ryan gave me from my neck as more sobs escaped my lips.

I didn't go back to school for another week and by the time I had the emotional strength to return, my physical strength had given out. I knew I had a temperature before I even left the house that morning and that the nasty sticky stuff I had been coughing up for the past few days meant something was wrong, but I had to go back to school. Today was a library day in Ryan's class and Erin and I needed to get some work done on our project. After Ryan took attendance, our class made the trek to the library. Erin was by my side, chattering about something unimportant when I felt the first waves of dizziness hit.

"You okay, Dani?" she asked, her face heavy with worry.

"Yeah, I'm good," I said, shaking my head to clear it.

I made it to the library before I completely collapsed.

"Danica! Mr. Lewis, get help!" was the last thing I heard.



Mr. Lewis Ch. 03



Last Nail to the Coffin

"Fucking pneumonia," I coughed as I cut off the engine to my SRX. I wasn't supposed to be at school yet, but I didn't care. The doctor and his rules could suck it. Today was presentation day and I wasn't going to miss it.

I walked into seventh hour and the class went absolutely still, except for Erin, of course. She was bouncing up and down in her seat.

"Danica! You're sick! What are you doing here?"

"I'm not gonna make you present by yourself just because I have a temporary ailment. I'll be fine."

"Shit, if I could get out of my presentation, I would," some guy with dreads said. He looked at me as if judging my mental health. I guess I couldn't blame him, I was a walking corpse.

My hair had lost its luster, my skin had paled significantly; my lips, that used to be a proud pink, were more of a dusty rose color. I looked an inch from death, but I didn't feel it. To be honest, I felt better today than I had for the past two weeks; I didn't know if it was because I was finally getting the chance to see Ryan again, or if it was the exhilaration of presenting one of the best projects I'd ever had the privilege to work on.

Ryan finally came into the room and I about spontaneously combusted. I hadn't seen him in two weeks and he looked amazing, even accounting for the haunted look in his eyes. He wore a cardigan with a striped button up shirt under it with blue jeans that made his legs and butt look sinful. I don't know what it was about his shoes, but the way they shined made me want him even more. My insides ached upon remembering that he didn't want me.

Ryan still hadn't seen me by the time he arrived to his desk. He started to rummage through his bag and I was grateful; at least I could gawk for a little longer. "Alright, Erin," he said, clapping his hands together. "It's all you today."

"Actually," Erin began, "Dani's here to present with me."

Ryan's head shot up out of his bag and his eyes darted to where I sat. Several emotions flitted across his face until the final one took hold: disapproval.

"Danica Matthews. You have pneumonia. What on earth are you doing here?"

"It's not even full-blown pneumonia," I coughed before carrying on. "You and I both know I wasn't going to miss today. And I didn't see it as fair for Erin to present by herself."

He shook his head. "Erin, would you mind getting set up for the presentation while I have a quick word with Miss Matthews?"

I rose out of my seat and left the room. My head spun a little, but I tried to play it off. Ryan was right behind me and closed the door after him. He looked around the hall before rounding on me.

"For pity's sake, Danica!" he whispered harshly. "You look like death on feet. Why would you do this? Do your parents know you're here? How are you feeling?" he asked, putting the back of his hand against my head. The contact sent a jolt through me.

"One question at a time, Ryan, geez. I feel better than I look, and like I said, you knew I wasn't going to miss this. I've been looking forward to this project for weeks. Erin has been working hard too."

"But you still didn't have to come."

"Yes, I did."

Ryan shook his head. "Danica Lynn. I could kill you."

"You might as well had," I mumbled.

He gasped. "Don't say that."

I shrugged.

"Do your parents know you're here?"

"No. They went to Majorca for their anniversary."

"So you've been home...alone...with pneumonia?" he looked angry.

I didn't know why he cared. He was the one that left me. "I had to basically push them out the door. They blame themselves for me being sick—something about my body not being used to Illinois weather then they drug me off to the Keys. But whatever, I'm not really alone, per se. Cori spends most nights with me and Dustin has been a really big help."

Ryan recoiled his hand from my face. "Dustin."

"Yeah."

"He's been staying the night with you."

"And weekends," I threw in just to get a rise out of him. It worked.

"You've been fucking him when you've been sick?"

"No! God, is that what you think of me?"

"No, Dani," he sighed before continuing, "if you were, I deserve it. Look, we can't do this right now," he said running his hands through his hair. "You're going straight home after this presentation, you got it?"

"You know, you can't tell me what to do. I'm not your...." I couldn't bring myself to say the words. The pain was still too real. "You can't tell me what to do."

Ryan's jaw went rigid as he looked me up and down. "You're going home after the presentation."

"And if I don't?"

"I'll call your doctor and parents to let them know you were in my class."

My eyes narrowed. "You're still a fucking jerk," I coughed as I reentered the room.

Everyone was busy chattering, much to my pleasure; it meant they weren't trying to listen in on our conversation.

"Well, Erin, you have a very headstrong and persistent partner. She'll present with you, but she's going straight back home and into bed after this presentation," Ryan said, sending a stern glance in my direction.

I rolled my eyes and snatched the slide show remote from his desk. As the PowerPoint came onto the screen I flipped into "history mode", and I reveled in it. The words flowed effortlessly from my mouth, and I commanded the attention of the room, even in my weakened state. About half an hour later it was my turn to give the conclusion, and I did so with gusto. I loved to give the conclusion on presentations, especially when the ending was dramatic like the one I planned.

I pressed a button on the remote and the sound of an erupting volcano played over the speakers. The class gasped and jumped and I smiled before continuing. "Just like that, everything and everyone you ever loved was gone. There was no more thriving metropolis, no more rich culture; the city of Pompeii was destroyed by forces outside of anyone's control."

In that moment, I saw Ryan and my relationship for what it was: the city of Pompeii. There was work, time, and effort put into making the city what it was, it wasn't perfect, but it was loved; and, just when things were starting to look up, an unexpected tragedy struck—the volcano and me being summoned back to my hometown were one in the same. But would Ryan and I end up like Pompeii for good? Would the ashes ever rise off of our relationship, giving us the chance to be something great?

The class applauded as I placed the clicker back on Ryan's desk, carefully avoiding his eye contact. If I looked at him now, I knew I would lose it.

"Well, ladies. I said that your presentation would be perfect, and I was right. I usually am." Even though I wasn't looking at him, I could tell he was smirking. "Miss Matthews, you presented as if you hadn't been ill for the last two weeks. Outstanding. Now, get out of my classroom," he said, a smile evident in his voice.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, gathering my backpack.

"Thank you, Dani," Erin said, smiling as she moved to give me a hug.

I moved out of the way. "I'm not sure how contagious I am," I said, smiling back at the girl.

She nodded. "Right, yeah. I forgot."

"And you should probably disinfect that clicker," I said before leaving the room.

I cried as I drove home. I cried during the bath I took later that day, and I cried myself to sleep in the early evening. I didn't realize how much I actually missed Ryan until I was in his company. I was dumb to go to school that day, not only because of my physical health, but because of my emotional health. I was still in love with Ryan, and I feared that there was no changing that...ever.

My eyes opened around seven that night to find Ryan sitting on the end of my bed. I shut my eyes right away.

"No. No more dreams. I can't take it." I had to be dreaming; there was no way Ryan Lewis was in my bedroom.

"Danica," Ryan sounded worried, "you're not dreaming."

I took a moment to process his words. They didn't fit right in my head. "I'm not...dreaming?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Then why are you here?"

"I brought you dinner. I texted you but you didn't answer, so I let myself in."

"Dinner?"

"A combo thing from Panera. I remember you liked the tuna sandwich and the Caesar salad."

I shook my head. "No. I'm not hungry."

"You're going to eat. Cori told me you barely eat anything she makes you."

"Quit bossing me around!"

"I will, after you eat."

I snatched the Panera bag from Ryan and held it in my lap. "When did you talk to Cori?"

"After school. She came to see if I could talk some sense into you."

I huffed. "Well it's nice to know you guys are conspiring against me behind my back."

"Against you? Making sure you eat would be more along the lines of conspiring for you, Danica."

"Okay. I got my food, you can leave now."

"Sure can't. I'm gonna sit here until you eat every bite."

"Oh for fuck's sake! I don't like the taste of food yet, Ryan." That was a half-truth. Maybe if I actually tried to eat, I would be able to tell if I could stomach food or not.

"You don't have to like it, you just have to eat it."

"Well, I'm not ready to eat yet. I just woke up." I ignored the exasperated look he gave me as I rolled out of the bed. "And I have to pee."

I took my time in the bathroom, hoping that some space from Ryan would help me calm down. I threw water on my face and neck, pinched my cheeks so that my skin wouldn't look so dull, and pulled a comb through my hair; it helped me feel more human even if I didn't look it. When I went back to my bedroom, Ryan sat in the same position on my bed, his face tight.

"What?"

"You wear things like that when Dustin is over here?"

I looked down at my cropped jersey and lacy boy short underwear and shrugged. "You know, for being the one that ended our relationship, you're pretty interested in who I'm fucking and what I wear before fucking them."

Ryan stood up and crossed the room faster than I would have thought possible. "You already told me you weren't having sex with Dustin."

"Shit. You have a point," I coughed as I trudged back to my bed to pick up the Panera bag.

"Why do you like playing games with me, Danica? This isn't funny."

"I feel it's only fair."

"Fair, how?"

"Oh, I don't know. You took my virginity then when things didn't go according to the plan, you dropped me like a bad habit," I said before stuffing a bite of salad in my mouth. It was quite tasty and made me realize I really was hungry.

"You're being immature about this."

I shrugged. "I'm eighteen. Sue me."

"Sometimes you make me want to beat the shit out of you, Danica."

The fork that held my next bite of salad fell onto my bedspread as I gasped. "What?"

"You heard me."

"You wouldn't hit me."

"Yes the fuck I would. Especially now with your pissy attitude and barely there clothes. I would haul you right across my lap and slap that plump ass of yours until you liked it."

Everything south of my waistline clenched. "I didn't mean that type of hitting."

"But I did."

I scoffed, but most of the derision was lost due to my excitement. "You gonna talk down to me and make me call you 'Sir' too?"

He shook his head. "I'm not into that."

"But you're into spanking women. How many women have you spanked, Ryan?"

"Eat your food, Danica."

"I think I'll wait, actually.

Ryan let out a sound that was in between a growl and a sigh as he moved to sit on the couch.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting the hell away from you. I didn't come here to fight; I want to make sure you're eating."

"Well, you saw me eat some salad."

"That's not eating."

"Did I say I was fucking finished?" I ground out, my temper rising with Ryan's persistence and bossiness.

Ryan laughed. "Oh, Danica. You're playing with fire, honey."

"Can't tell," I muttered.

"What was that?"

"I said, I. Can't. Tell." I was lying. The fire he spoke of was evident in his eyes and posture. The heat was so intense I knew it would overtake me if I let it.

"Eat your food. We'll talk when you've finished."

I cocked my head to the side and frowned. I had no clue what his game was, besides making me eat, but I did as he said because I really was starving. When I finished the entire meal, took my meds, and downed a few glasses of water, Ryan began to speak.

"You got an 'A' on your presentation."

"Of course I did."

"Erin really liked working with you."

"Is that what you came here to talk to me about?"

"No."

"So why don't you just get to it?"

"Why are you being so abrasive with me?"

"You fucked and dumped me, Ryan. Did you expect me to do anything different?"

"Quit making it seem like that's all I wanted you for, we both know that's not true."

"You know that isn't true."

"If that heinous accusation were true, I wouldn't be here right now. We were together for a short time, but that doesn't mean it was all about sex."

"You were so cruel when you dumped me."

"I had to be—I have to be. You weren't so nice yourself."

I cringed. He was right. I was hateful and mean, but I felt he deserved it. "I told you how I really felt about you and you blew me off."

"What could I say to have made it better? Me loving you back gets us nowhere. We're still teacher and student."

"I told you I would've dropped your stupid class."

"You just did the exact thing you accused me of ten seconds ago."

"What?"

"I told you that I love you and you totally disregarded what I said."

"No."

"No, what?"

"You don't love me."

Ryan shook his head. "Believe what you want."

"If you love me, why would you hurt me so much?"

"This isn't just about you, Danica! Do you think I wanted to leave you? Do you think I want to see you sitting in my classroom five days a week for fifty minutes a day and not be able to touch you? Do you think I like seeing the pain in your eyes when I'm forced to withdraw from you because it could get both of us in trouble? The day we broke up, I watched you walk out of my classroom...I saw you go outside and sink into the ground and I knew that I had broken you. Do you think I like seeing that scene over and over in my head? It brings me to tears every damn time! And now you have pneumonia, which was basically my fault, too. You were crouched in that snow for God knows how long. I should've came down to you, but I couldn't. I had to stick to the decision I made for both of our sakes; so, don't tell me I don't love you. Don't try and tell me that I don't care and that I was in it just for the sex. If that was the case, I would have continued to fuck you in secret, dumped you when you graduated, and moved on."

I wasn't sure if it was because he was yelling at me, the fact that I was sick, or the medication I took, but my hand collided with the side of Ryan's face. It only took him about two seconds to pull me over the arm of my couch and expose my butt. I tried to get away, but I was trapped between his body and the couch.

I waited for him to hit me, but the blows never came. "Go ahead. Just do it. You've already started."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I just can't."

"Just tell me."

He sighed. "Danica, don't make me say it. Admitting it will only make things worse."

"Fine. I guess I'll see you in class tomorrow, then."

"You...you. No! You're still ill."

"Yes, well," I shrugged.

Ryan's hand clenched over my exposed skin. "Danica, I'm not going to spank you because I know you'd like it; and when you become wet, I'll have to have sex with you. We cannot have sex, Danica. Neither one of us needs that."

"I do." And I honestly did.

I needed to be close to Ryan again, to feel his skin against mine; I needed to feel something besides the damp darkness that my life turned to once our relationship ended. My body and soul ached for him. I needed Ryan Andrew Lewis now more than ever.

"You don't know what you're saying. No matter if I have sex with you tonight or not, we still can't be together."

"I know, Ryan. I know. I just...I just need you. Please."

Ryan's hands began to caress my butt, but I knew the battle wasn't won yet.

"Danica," he ground out my name as indecision made itself known in his voice.

I wiggled my butt. "Please."

"You're sick, Dani."

"Recovering."

"Dani," Ryan groaned as he slid a finger into me. "Why do you do this to me? It's like a damn spell when you use that voice and beg me...I can't say 'no'," he said, working his finger in and out of me, making us moan in unison. I was going to tell him to quit teasing me until he retracted his finger and delivered a hearty smack to my left butt cheek.

SMACK! To the right cheek.

SMACK! To the left again.

He kept up the punishing rhythm until my sex was practically weeping. He was right... I did enjoy the spanking. Ryan knew my body better than I did, and it made my flesh heat in expectation. He stuck two fingers inside me without warning. "So wet." Ryan whispered while unzipping his pants. "Take your shirt off."

I did as he asked and lay back across the couch. "Take yours off."

He chuckled, but did as I said.

I soon felt the warmth of his chest against my back, making me sigh in contentment. I knew this moment wouldn't last, but I still needed it.

"Turn over and sit."

"Sit where?" I asked. There were too many places to sit.

"Right here," he said, patting the arm of the couch where I was just lying.

I turned around and was rewarded with a full frontal view of Ryan Lewis's body. All I could do was stare, and he let me. He finally knelt down in front of me, and I knew exactly what he was planning to do.

"What? No!"

"If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right, Danica."

"But...."

"But, what? You want it, just let me do it." I sighed and he scooted closer. "Legs," he instructed, motioning for me to place them over his shoulders.

"Oh God, really, Ryan?"

"Do you want to start all the way over? We can do that if you want."

I huffed and did as he demanded, feeling extraordinarily naked and exposed.

"Good. Now, just like last time. Eyes on me," he said before rubbing his fingers through my sex. "You're sick, and yet you maintain the prettiest pussy I've ever seen," he whispered. His fingers moved into my folds and spread my lips apart, exposing my clit—I could've died twice over due to the way he looked at me. His eyes were greedy, hungry...carnal. Finally, he took a leisurely swipe at my sex. It was too much to watch mixed with the way he looked at me.

"Oh, come on!"

Ryan got up from where he knelt, pulling me up with him and flipped me over the arm of the couch. SMACK! His hand made contact with my butt cheek. "I thought I heard you complaining, Danica."

"No!" I lied.

SMACK!

"I mean, yes! I was!"

He turned me over and motioned for me to sit again. I did as he asked without hesitation and he murmured praise for me learning so quickly. "Legs." I immediately obeyed. "Good." His ministrations were smooth and calculated, driving my body to heights it hadn't been to since the last time he went down on me. "Are you closing your eyes, Danica?"

"Uh...um...."

"Answer me."

"I was, but they're open now."

"I'll let it slide," he said before reaching up to grab my breasts. "Only because I can't resist these. So beautiful." He took my nipples in between his fingers and rolled them, making my back bow in pleasure.

"Oh...."

My body climbed even higher...

I was on the edge...

Ryan tightened his grip on my nipples and sucked my clit, tossing me completely over the edge. Before I could come down, he had me flipped onto my stomach and was entering me from behind. He groaned as he bottomed out. Tears started to sting my eyes.

As much as I longed for Ryan and his body, I longed more for his heart and his mind—after he came, I would have none of those things. It was my own fault, really. I begged him to take me, and it was my own ignorance that led to my breakdown. I had no clue what being this close to Ryan would do to me; I didn't realize it would enflame my heart before shredding it to pieces. I hated myself for wanting him, and I hated him for letting me. He was right, of course—I had no clue what I was asking him for.




Mr. Lewis Ch. 03



"Danica."

"What?" I sniffled.

"You're crying." He stopped moving and pulled out of me. I winced from the sudden feeling of emptiness. "What's the matter?" When I didn't answer, he picked me up, turning me so I'd have to look at him; in my face was his answer. "Danica," he groaned as if he felt my pain.

I continued to cry as he carried me to my bed and laid me down. I was surprised when he curled up behind me. "No. You can leave if you want. I'm fine."

"No you're not," he whispered, his voice thick.

"But I have to be."

"You don't have to be okay, Dani," his voice broke as he said my name, making me turn around to face him. "I told you neither of us needed this. God, why did you let me do this? Why did I let myself do this?"

His eyes were red with tears; it broke my heart and somehow mended it at the same time. His tears told me he was hurting to; they told me that even through all of the callous silence, he cared for me as I cared for him. A new wave of tears fell down my face as I climbed on top of Ryan's erection.

"Dan—oh God," he said as I lowered myself onto him. "What are you doing?" he sounded out of breath.

"You can't start something and not finish it—especially this. It's too late to take it back. It's just too late," I whispered while sliding down his erection. The word that came out of my mouth was a garbled combination of "ah" and "ouch". He had never been this deep in me before; it was a welcome, however, alien feeling. I bent down, buried my face in Ryan's neck and undulated my hips. He uttered harsh, four-lettered epithets as I moved up and down and circled around him. Ryan wrapped his arms around me and kissed my shoulders, face, and neck, bringing me closer to my climax.

"Sit up, baby. Sit up."

I did as he said and he placed his hands on my hips, rendering me immobile before he began to push into me. The feeling was so intense that my sex immediately rippled around his girth. "Ryan!"

"Just feel it for me, baby. I need you to feel it for me—for us."

And with that, my body froze over.

"There is no us."

"Hey, hey. Look at me, Danica. Look at me." Ryan put my face in between his hands as he continued to move in and out of me. "It's just you and me right now. All right? Just you and me."

Of course it was just him and me, there was no one else in the room; but, it wouldn't be just him and me when we were surrounded by four walls and a handful of students. I knew it wouldn't be just him and me when he came and would leave me alone in my empty house. Then it would be just me. Had it always been just me?

"Danica," Ryan pulled me to his chest and slid out of me before rolling us. He hovered over me as he slid his manhood up and down my clit. "Please, Dani. I need to see you come. I need to see that I can do more than just hurt you." His tears hit my chest and slid down my body as he continued to grind into me. I wrapped my legs around him and he rolled us again, this time I was on top. "Take me," he whispered.

I gripped his girth in my hand and centered it with my body before, again, lowering onto him. I immediately began to move, hoping to drive both our orgasms quickly. He met me thrust for thrust, his fingers finding their way to my clit. ''No...."

"Yes," he said before taking his bottom lip between his teeth.

I tried to shut him out but failed; his moans and groans of pleasure were turning my body into the towering inferno. "No," I wailed as the pleasure began to spike.

"Oh, yes. Just give it to me, Dani. Give it up, baby." Ryan coaxed me to an earth-shattering orgasm, but he was relentless; he flipped me over to my back and entered me again. I cried out but he pounded on, making my third orgasm build. There was no point in fighting it, Ryan commanded my body like I was a marionette and he was the puppet master. "Another, Dani," he said, slightly shifting his body to the side.

"I can't," I cried.

"Yes. You. Can." Ryan lowered himself onto his forearms and really began to plow into me—I came in seconds and he followed. His orgasm came with a cry of my name as he buried his face in my neck.

Time stood still as we laid in each other's embrace, taking turns soothing the other when we would lose our composure and cry—me more so than Ryan. He asked me repeatedly if I was okay and offered to get me water or something else stupid that I had no need of. It wasn't my physical condition that worried me; I had become an emotional wreck in no time. I was angry, intensely sad, happy...I couldn't stay in one state before another took over. Ryan lay with his arms around me, castigating himself for what just occurred, and I let him. I wanted someone to blame for our moments of indiscretion that wasn't myself. That only made me cry more.

Ryan's warmth coupled with my sobs had me drifting off to sleep until my phone rang a little after eight.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Dani. Were you asleep?" Dustin's voice had me shooting straight out of the bed. I forgot it was his night to hang out with me.

"I was dozing off. You finished with your shift?"

"Yeah. I was heading over, if that's okay."

"Sure, yeah, that's fine. I'll be up."

"Cool. See you in a few."

I hung up and returned the phone to its rightful place, trying to avoid Ryan's eyes the entire time.

"Dustin?"

"Yeah."

"I guess I'd better go, then."

"No," I said before my brain could filter out my neediness.

"Danica, you know I can't stay forever."

"I know. I don't want you to feel obligated to leave because Dustin is coming."

Ryan moved around my room in silence as he gathered and donned his clothes. I covered up with the blankets, feeling more naked than ever. When Ryan was dressed, he sat on the edge of my bed, facing away from me—I knew this was it. He was leaving. "You should put some clothes on before he gets here."

I laughed without humor. "That's it. That's all you're gonna say to me?"

"What more can I say, Danica? Is there anything to say that can make this situation different? Is there anything to say that can ease the pain?"

"No, but I figured the coldness wouldn't return until I was back in school again."

"Danica, you have every right to move on with Dustin if you want to."

"What?"

"I'm not gonna make you wait around for me when a good kid is practically knocking down your door to be with you. That would be selfish and unfair of me."

"I don't want anyone else, Ryan."

"You say that now, but you'll change your mind. You're young," he got up from the bed and walked to the door. "I'll see you in class."

I didn't even wait until I heard the front door close before falling into a fit of hysterics; and I should've blamed myself, but I didn't. How could I? Ryan had every right to say 'no' to me, but he didn't. He succumbed and fucked me.

He's the adult! He should've taken the initiative and acted his age; but even as I thought this, I couldn't find conviction in any of the words.

I heard Dustin's car hit my driveway and I hopped out of bed to find some clothes to wear. By the time he made it to my room I was dressed with my tears dried; he could tell I cried, though. He questioned me relentlessly until I came up with a semi-decent lie.

"I'm just so tired of sitting in this house all day by myself. I mean, I'm recovering, so shouldn't I be allowed to do something?"

He contemplated this. "I can tell being locked up here has been tough on you. You're not a hermit by any means," he laughed lightly at this. "How about we go out and get some food? Maybe some ice cream? Carl's has food and ice cream so if you feel inclined, you can get both," he looked so proud of himself that I had to say yes, even though I lacked an appetite.

I ordered my favorite ice cream: one scoop of cookies and crème, one scoop of strawberry, and a scoop of birthday cake—all in one dish. Dustin rambled on about classes and colleges while I devoured my treat. Appetite or no, it was hard to refuse homemade hard serve—or maybe it was Dustin's presence that soothed me. He was the only one of my close friends that had no clue about me and Ryan, so he wasn't wasting his time feeling sorry for me, or asking if I was going to be okay, or trying to throw me into new relationships; I felt that I could relax and forget the pain, if only for a while. That's what prompted me to say yes to his spring break proposal.

He thought it'd be a good idea for him, Cori, and I—me mostly—to get out of Bloomington, if only for a short while. I agreed with gusto.

"So, where'd you want to go? Somewhere tropical? My parents are in Majorca, they might recommend it. The Bahamas might be nice. Or maybe...."

"Perhaps we should keep it to Illinois. You are just recovering from pneumonia."

I rolled my eyes. "It's not even full-blown pneumonia; I should be good to go by the time spring break rolls around."

My trip to the doctor the next day ruled that out. The insufferable man told me I should follow my friend's instructions and that the change of climate could hinder my full recovery; so, it was off to Chicago with us in a few weeks. On the horizon, though, was my authorized return to school. I wasn't allowed to participate in gym yet, but I wasn't worried about that. My one worry would be sitting in room 213 during seventh hour.

*

It was like a parade of red and pink in the halls of BHS for the most dreaded day at school for the single girl—Valentine's Day. Why I chose to come back on this day was beyond me. Of course, my friends wouldn't let me be without gifts, so I ended up with a bouquet of "secret admirer" carnations that were delivered by student council members (it was their fundraiser), a card, and an oversized bear that held a box of chocolate between its front paws. Ryan did a double take when I shuffled into his classroom with my gifts. It was petty of me to openly display them, but I wanted him to sweat. I wanted him to pay for at least a portion of what he had done to me.

"Wow, who's all that from?" Erin asked as she bounced along to her seat, carting some gifts of her own.

"Some of the flowers are from my friend Cori; but the bear, card, chocolates, and a good number of flowers are from Dustin Hoffman." I peeked out the corner of my eye and saw Ryan's face tighten. "I should've dropped this by my locker earlier, but the doctor told me not to make extra trips outside of going to classes." I shrugged. "Maybe that's why Dustin waited to give me the bear. He's always so thoughtful."

"Oooh, well maybe Dustin wants to be a little more than friends," Erin's eyes glittered with excitement.

I talked louder than usual for my response. "I think he always has, but I haven't been in the market until recently...tough break-up," I shrugged.

Erin nodded, her face solemn as if she had experienced the same thing.

Ryan called the class to order and began to teach—if you could call it that. He had us work in groups on a worksheet while he sat at his desk trying to hide his anger. After the worksheet was handed in, he put on a DVD, which only further confirmed his anger. He didn't want to speak, and he didn't want to be seen. He must've really been trying to lie low because he didn't even bother to wake up the students that had fallen asleep during the video.

The final bell rang for the day and everybody made haste in their pursuit to be free of classes, if only for the weekend. I stuck around. Of course, I knew he wouldn't say much to me but I waited anyway.

After a few minutes he sighed and looked up from his computer and stared at the wall. "Danica, what can I do for you?"

My coat did nothing for the chill that came from his demeanor. "Just saying 'hi'. Trying to be civil."

"Hello," he said, going back to his computer.

I laughed without humor. "Wow. You fucked me a couple days ago and all you have to offer me is a 'hello'?"

He rose out of his seat in one hasty, but fluid, motion to come stand in front of my face. "What the hell is wrong with you?" His nostrils flared and his eyes turned the color of coal. "You can't be serious right now."

"Nobody's even in here. Cut the bullshit, Ryan."

"You cut the bullshit, Danica," he whispered harshly. "You come into my classroom, flaunting gifts that another guy bought you for Valentine's Day and spout some 'being civil' shit. So fucking immature. Then there was that bit with the 'bad break-up'," Ryan ran both hands through his hair and went back to his desk before speaking again. "Someone needs to teach you the definition of the word 'civil' because that whole display was the opposite. What are you doing here?"

"I brought you something, you ass hat. I can't very well go dropping off Valentine's Day cards to my teacher during class, can I?"

"You shouldn't have gotten me anything. We're not together anymore."

I inhaled deeply and fought tears back in order to put on my mask again. "That always feels better the second time around. Way to drive that knife home even more." He tried to speak but I silenced him with a look I reserved only for my parents when they made me angry. "You ignore me for however long you want, but when I'm sick you want to show interest in me. Then, you come over to my house, fuck and dump me, again," I shook my head and laughed once without humor. "And now, you want to put on some huge front that you're hurt because I'm getting gifts from the guy you told me to run off into the sunset with. I'm done. I've had more than enough of this fucking act—,"

"You're the one that's acting, Danica! Never once have I pretended to be okay. I never came to this classroom," he pointed to the ground for emphasis, "and put on a performance. I leave that to you. You come in here, pointing fingers at me when our last episode was completely consensual. As a matter of fact, if I remember correctly, it was you that begged me to fuck you, not the other way around; so you can cut the victim act. You're beefing this break-up into something more than it has to be. It's not about me not wanting you, it's about right and wrong."

I heard everything he was saying and saw truth in every word; but I wasn't going to relent now. I started this and I was going to finish it.

"Just stay the fuck out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours. Cause me an ounce of trouble, and we'll be right back at it again." I went into my bag and tugged out the card I bought Ryan. I walked over and slammed it on his desk, hoping he heard the clang of metal. I had tucked the necklace he gave me into the card as a farewell gesture. "You better not even look at me funny, or it'll be hell in your classroom, you fucking prick."

"Danica," he said before someone barged into the classroom.

"Mr. Lewis, there's a fight out by the cafeteria!"

Ryan looked from me to the student and back again.

"I'm coming, Chase," Ryan said, his voice hard. "I'll be back, Danica."

"Don't count on me being here," I said as he hustled toward the door.

He looked back at me, his face torn between duty and desire. "I'll be right back. Don't leave."

"If you're lucky."

He left the room and I deflated. My shoulders slumped as tears began to pour from my eyes. I didn't have time to really let go because another person made their presence known in the classroom. Thankfully, it was Dustin.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he rushed over to where I was sitting and crouched down to my eye level.

I thought of the quickest lie possible. "The asshole gave me a 'B'. Can you believe that? Danica Matthews with a 'B' on a history assignment?"

Dustin looked like he wanted to laugh. "Dani, you're throwing a fit over one assignment?"

I peered at him, cocking my head to the side. "I guess I am."

He laughed outright now. "You know, it's just one assignment. Come on, don't let that ruin Valentine's Day. Cori and I planned the entire night out for the three of us. It's gonna be fun."

I looked at Dustin, my eyes brimming with new tears. He took a piece of my hair and placed it behind my ear just as the classroom door reopened. It was him, and I hoped he saw what Dustin did.

"Oh, hey Mr. Lewis," Dustin said, not moving away from me. I could feel the testosterone level of the room rise with every step Ryan made into the classroom.

"Dustin. School is over, what are you still doing here?"

"I was looking for Dani and found her in here all alone." It could've been my imagination, but I swear I heard Dustin put emphasis on the "all alone" part.

"I was just coming back to speak with Miss Matthews, actually. If you'll excuse us a moment."

"Actually, I'm just gonna go. Dustin and I are gonna hang out tonight and probably plan our spring break," I said, rising from the desk. I didn't look at Ryan, but I could feel tension radiating off him in waves.

"Miss Matthews will be outside in a moment," Ryan said to Dustin. His tone told us both that there was no getting out of this discussion.

"I'll be right outside, Dani," Dustin said, rising from his knees and leaving the room. The door closed behind him.

I crossed my arms and waited for Ryan to talk.

"Danica," Ryan said, breathing deeply. "Why are you making this harder than it already is? Really. Isn't it enough that we're not together, now you have to add using Dustin to the mix?"

"Using Dustin? That's what you think? You really are an asshole. Maybe I actually like him."

Ryan's mask fell as pain made itself evident in his features. Part of me felt sorry for him, but the other part of me gloried in his defeat.

He put his hand over his mouth and briefly closed his eyes. "If you really like him, then I guess that's my fault."

I wanted to comfort him in that moment, but it would do neither of us any good. We'd open up the door to our linked emotions only to have to close it all over again. "You're so bipolar. Either you want me to move on, or you don't."

"Just because I think you should move on doesn't mean I want you to, Danica. Surely, you know that by now."

"What does it matter? We're not gonna be together either way, so," I shrugged. "This is it. I'm not doing this anymore. Either you're all in, or all out."

"You come into my room, cause all this drama, and offer me an ultimatum?" Ryan scoffed as he paced in front of his desk. He ran his hands through his hair before speaking. "I'm out, Danica." Ryan threw his hands in the air before running them through his hair again. "This is madness! It wasn't me that ended this relationship; it was you and all the shit you just pulled." My heart lurched in my chest as he continued. "Would you have acted decently, I would have checked in from time to time, been there for you when you needed; and right after graduation—were you available—I would have made us official again, but all of that is gone! All of this," he motioned to my gifts, "and that," he pointed toward the door where Dustin was waiting for me, "is more than enough for me to call it quits. I don't want to date a child, Danica. When I pursued you, I saw you as a mature, young adult that I could grow with, but these stunts and you blaming me for everything is where I draw the line. I have feelings too, you know. I may be more practiced at hiding them, but they're still there; and it seems like you want very badly to hurt them with any chance you get. So yes, I'm totally out," he threw his hands up in defeat before sitting back at his desk. "For good."

Everything inside of me sank to linoleum floor beneath me.

Well, you did want to get a rise out of him, my subconscious told me.

But I wasn't expecting that type of reaction. In truth, I'd expected him to see what a dumb decision he had made in breaking up with me...I'd hoped the gifts would make him jealous enough to want me for himself; I thought my words could guilt him into coming back to me. The truth of the matter was that he had never left me, but I was too blinded by having my feelings hurt to realize it. All of my realizations were irrelevant because the fact still remained that Ryan no longer wanted me—for real. I could see it in his eyes, the angry set of his jaw, and the rigidity of his body. He wanted me gone.




Mr. Lewis Ch. 03



"Enjoy your Valentine's Day, Mr. Lewis," I said as I left the room.



Mr. Lewis Ch. 04



What can I say to you all that have been waiting for so long??? Is there any type of condolence I can give to make it right? That's highly doubtful. I feel like crap, and I'm actually quite angry. I'm angry at myself, I'm angry at my computer...and by God, I'm angry with Ryan Lewis.  

I'm angry with myself for downloading a bad version of Firefox, which caused me to lose all of my previous work on this book and others. I'm mad at my computer for transferring that virus onto my flashdrive and corrupting the only saved version of the Mr. Lewis file. I'm mad at myself for almost giving up and not writing anymore. I don't even know how I refrained from throwing my computer at the wall, but I did. 

Why am I angry with Ryan Lewis? The answer is below. 

*****

Turn Around 

"Back again, Miss Matthews?" 

I wasn't sure why Mr. Fox even greeted me with the asinine question that he did. My visits to his office were weekly ever since Ryan and my final break up. Every Friday, at the end of sixth period, I would go to Mr. Fox's office and attempt to persuade him to take me out of Ryan's class. I'd had no luck and I was starting to think Fox wasn't going to crack. It'd been two months of me begging without positive results. 

I took my usual seat in my assistant principal's office—the one in front of my favorite candy dish filled with Starbursts. 

"Yes, Mr. Fox, I'm afraid I am. You see, I'm still horrifically bored in Ry—I mean...Mr. Lewis's class and he's told me repeatedly that I disrupt his teaching. I would like to benefit both of us—not to mention my class—by being removed from the environment and placed into a study hall." 

Mr. Fox folded his hands, an amused look on his face. "And as I've told you, Miss Matthews, there are no more study hall seats left. It's is just too close to the end of the year." 

"But I'm sure something can be worked out. There's no reason why a quiet and well-behaved student like me can't be added to an already sparse study hall." 

Mr. Fox peered at me through his designer frames. "Is there something else you'd like to talk about, Danica? Not many people request to be transferred out of Mr. Lewis's class. In fact, I find it to be the opposite. Did something happen?" 

I busied myself with the candy jar to hide my face. "No need to go all Dumbledore on me... Like I said, I've been through the material. I'm not sure what my parents were thinking by signing me up for the class knowing I already took it." 

"They know of your love for history, I'm sure." 

I shrugged. 

"Look Danica, the year is basically over. From what I understand, your biggest project is out of the way. I usually don't say this but... tune the man out. Doodle, write some poetry; I don't know. But you will be in that class until graduation," Mr. Fox said, effectively ending our conversation while standing up. "And I don't want to see you back in my office unless it's to discuss graduation or college plans." 

My college plans made me even sicker than going to Ryan's class every day. As another token of their love and support, my parents signed me up for Illinois State University and trashed my hopes of going back to California. 

"But ISU is in a different town, Dan," Cori said at my complaint-fest that was known to the general public as lunchtime. 

"The neighboring town! And the zoning is so fucked they might as well combine the two and save everyone the trouble of figuring out where the stupid dividing lines are." 

"What are you gonna say next? 'This town isn't big enough for the both of us'?" 

I raised my eyebrows. "Well, he's the one that said it that way." 

Cori placed her hand on my forearm. "I think you both did, but that was so long ago. A lot can change in two months, Dan." 

"Not this. There's no coming back from this, Cori. My only hope was to get out of here after graduation, but now I can't even do that." 

"Yeah, but you get a nice, shiny new condo!" 

"Ugh!" I groaned. "Another bribe! Why is it that people with money think that spending is a Band-Aid for everything?" 

"Dan, honey, your parents don't even know you're bleeding." 

I had to give her that. No one knew I was "bleeding" besides God and Cori. I thought the breakup would be easier, knowing Ryan didn't want me like I wanted him; but it wasn't. My mind was full of regret and wondering. 

What if I had been nicer? 

What if I would've told him that I was staying in Bloomington when my parents surprised me in January? 

There were so many questions left unanswered; so many choices already made...but Cori was right, all of that was a while ago. None of it could be taken back; although I wanted to retract every word. Ryan told me I hurt his feelings, and if I were being honest, I wanted to at that point. I wanted him to feel a shred of the pain I felt when he broke up with me. All in all, I wanted him to feel bad and take me back; but, when I figured out that wasn't going to happen, I wanted to get away from him. Not for my sake, but his. 

I could feel the heat of anger and aggression run off him as we had our final stare down two months ago, and even more than that, I could feel how "done" he was. Ryan said he was out for good, and I believed him. For that reason, I wanted to give him space to get on with his life; but, in that I was also being selfish. I knew moving away would also protect me. 

Ryan moving on would entail him forgetting about me and finding a new girlfriend; and although I was okay with him forgetting about me, I had no clue how I would take to him moving on with another girl. The thought of him holding her hand, kissing her...touching her in a sexual manner...penetrating her... 

"Dani, what's wrong? You look sick. I told you not to get that taco salad." 

"Nothing," I lied. "I'm just not feeling good." I didn't have to lie about that. Thinking about the man you love being with another female would make any girl sick to their stomach. 

"See, I knew we shouldn't have gone away for Spring Break! The doctor said 'no', but you just had to do something," Cori ranted, and I half expected her to start waving her index finger at me. 

"Can you blame me?" I huffed, rising from my chair. "I'll see you later, okay?" I turned away before Cori could answer. 

I spent the rest of the day in a funk—even more so when I had to go to Ryan's class. It's not like I had to talk to the man or anything, but being around him was still...unsettling. I sighed as my hand rested on the door handle. 

There was a time when I would be eager to get to Ryan's class. I would anticipate our interactions in school and out. 

A smile spread across my face as I remembered how we would meet at the coffee shop in Barnes and Noble and I would sip on a caramel mocha while he scribbled on my papers with red ink. Occasionally, he would wiggle the pen, look up at me, and wink. My heart would flutter in my chest, and I'd try to hide it, of course. Those were the simple days—the days I missed almost more than anything. 

Above all, I missed being the girl in Ryan's life. I craved for more of our late night talks, watching the history channel, eating Chinese take out on his living room floor...we barely had any time together at all. 

"We were finished before we even started," I said, wiping a tear from my cheek. 

"Danica?" 

I cringed. "How long have you been standing there?" I asked, wiping another tear from my face. 

"Not long." Ryan tried to sound innocent, but I knew he was lying. "Were you planning on coming to my class today?" 

"Not really," I lied. "I was more so internally debating the issue." 

"Well, if it helps, today isn't one of your normal skip days." 

That brought me up short. I was almost ninety percent sure Ryan didn't notice or even care when I skipped class. 

Maybe he did want me... 

No. No...I had to nip those thoughts in the bud. He made it clear the last time we spoke that he had no desire to be with me. I could not allow myself to hope or dare to dream...I'd fall right back in the same rut. 

"I'd also like to point out that class is not its usual format today. You'd probably want to come." 

I cocked my head to the side. "Why do you always do that?" 

His eyebrows puckered. "Do what?" 

"Ever since I can remember, you've left things open-ended...like you're trying to entice everyone, or something." 

"I feel that...curiosity...tends to win people over." 

"You mean it gets them to do what you want. In this case...that'd be me coming to your class." 

He reached past me and opened the door to the classroom. "You're not gonna want to miss this. After you, Miss Matthews." Ryan motioned grandly to the classroom entrance. 

I fixed my face to keep it in a neutral position. There was no way I was going to let him know he still had an effect on me. Ryan began talking before I could reach my seat. 

"Alright people, I'm gonna be honest with you...I don't feel like teaching today." 

The class immediately perked up. 

"It's toward the end of the year, senior week starts Monday, and all we have left is the final; so, why not have a final review?" 

"What kind of review?" Erin asked as she bounced up and down in her seat. "Jeopardy? Hangman?" 

"Jeopardy. BUT... you have to recite your answers as if you were in the heat of a rap battle." 

I let a chuckle escape my lips before I could stop it. 

"You find my game funny, Miss Matthews?" 

"Funny? No. More so bat shit crazy." 

The class chuckled and Ryan's mouth perked up into a smile. "Don't curse in my class, Miss Matthews." 

His old line had me grinning like an idiot. I hated and loved it. 

Get a grip, Dani. Get a grip, I chanted until my smile faded. He doesn't want you. He's just being nice. 

"Mr. Lewis is in a good mood," Erin giggled. 

"He is..." 

"For a while there he seemed down all the time. I mean, he just wasn't the same. I think he's more himself now." 

"I wonder why that is," I drummed my fingers along the faux wood desk. 

And wonder I did...for the rest of that week. I wondered...and studied him...then wondered some more. 

Ryan was different. 

He had a spring in his step...light in his eyes...and he was actually talking to me. He picked back up the habit of calling on me in class and say hello to me if we crossed paths in the hallway. We weren't meeting up at bookstores or coffee shops yet, but I was sure it would happen soon. 

"I know it all sounds too good to be true, Danica, but I'd wait it out and see what happens. I mean...I just don't want you to get your hopes up and get let down again," Cori told me. 

"I don't have my hopes up." 

She folded her arms and tapped her foot, her lips sealed as she peered through me. 

"Okay...okay! Maybe I have been thinking that he wants to reconcile; but you can't blame me! You should see him. It's like December never happened." 

"Maybe he's acting that way for another reason," Cori shrugged. "Just be careful, Dani—especially with the fact that you're going to prom with Dustin." 

"What does prom and Dustin have to do with anything?" 

Cori tossed her hands in front of her. "I just don't want you to get into a situation that will end up hurting you. Like I said, be careful. Especially with Dustin." 

"When did you become the responsible one? I'm not sure I like this situation." 

"Love blinds people. I'm here to be the voice of reason." 

"For now. I think Liam is gonna have you swooning by the end of prom night," I said, swaying on my feet with my hand to my head like a damsel. "Oh, Liam! Yes, I will let you ravish me on, this, our prom night!" I made wet, sloppy kissing noises, making Cori's freckled skin turn pink. 

"Shut up, Dani. People will hear you." 

"Everybody knows you're going to prom with Liam Kaine, Cori." 

"Yeah, but I don't want them thinking we're gonna be doing some prom extra curriculars, if you catch my drift." 

"Ah, whatever," I waved a hand as I closed my locker. "If you do, you do. If you don't, then you don't. " 

"I guess. But hey, for real. Be careful in that class," Cori warned. 

"I'll keep my hopes so low, they'll sink to the core of the earth." 

Cori shook her head before walking to seventh hour. I basically skipped on the way there. 

Ryan was in a good mood, but he kept running his fingers through his hair during our "robot voice" themed game of Jeopardy. After my team won, he asked me to stay behind to speak with him after class. My stomach and heart performed somersaults that nearly had me winded. I stayed in my seat as the rest of the class filed out. 

"Parker, will you grab the door behind you?" Ryan called to the gangly boy skulking toward the door. 

The kid moved like a sloth, which was surprising for his mile-long legs. The door clicked shut with an eerie finality that sent a jolt through me. 

I waited for Ryan to speak, and was reminded of the last time we sat in silence for so long. 

When he was breaking up with me. 

My heart thudded even harder, but I took comfort in the fact that he couldn't break up with me again seeing as we weren't together. 

Ryan ran his hands through his hair before speaking. "Come here." He patted the seat next to him. 

I sat down, intoxicated by our proximity to one another. 

Ryan folded his hands in front of his lips, squeezed and released before beginning to speak. "Danica, I'm sorry." 

"What?" 

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "For everything that happened between us. A lot of what happened shouldn't have...I was...ugh." He rubbed his face and sighed again. "I was stupid." 

"For what? I don't get what you're saying, Mr. Lewis." 

"Don't call me that, Danica." 

"I'm lost." 

"I'm sorry. I'm not being very clear. My thoughts have been a mess ever since...well, never mind. I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry and that I'm proud of you." 

I cocked my head to the side. I was at a total loss. Proud of me? For what reason? I barely came to his class before this week, and when I did come, I was quiet and unresponsive. 

"I expected you to give me grief for the rest of the school year, but you didn't. I'm not thrilled about you skipping, but I'm proud that you found a way to channel your emotions that didn't result in either one of us becoming even more hurt. The way you've been behaving is closer to the Danica I knew. I want you to continue with this behavior." 

"Okay. Is that why you held me back? To talk about my behavior?" I wrung my hands, my nervousness seeking an outlet. 

"Not entirely. I have more...personal...matters to discuss." 

"Personal? How personal are we talking?" 

"Not that personal," he said. "Not at all. I just think...I don't know." 

"For fuck's sake Ryan, spit it out. I'm about to slap you!" 

"Mouth, Danica. We're still in school," Ryan ran his hand through his hair before settling it on his lap. "Look, Danica. I wanted you to stay so I could talk to you in private about some changes in my life—changes that involve you. I don't know how you're going to respond, but there's something I have to get out." 

My rising hope was about to explode through the roof. I knew what he was going to say; my heart ached to hear the words that would reunite us. But my hopes were extinguished as the door to the classroom was opened. 

"Ryan, I thought we were supposed to meet. Oh—" Mr. Fox saw me and switched into assistant principal mode. "Miss Matthews, what a surprise." 

"Yes, Mr. Fox. Danica and I were just discussing the upcoming final exam. I wanted her to be aware that her previous school would not have had the same final and that she should take mine as seriously as any other final." 

Dang, Ryan was good! I would've been flubbing around for minutes trying to come up with a plausible excuse for being in his classroom with the door closed. 

"Ah, good. Good," Mr. Fox said, nodding his head. "We're all waiting for you in the staff office, Mr. Lewis. Remember the staff meeting?" 

Ryan shot out of his chair. "I forgot. Danica, we'll have to finish this discussion at a later date. But I'm sure you get the gist of what I was trying to convey." 

I smiled and nodded. "Sure. I'll see you Monday, Mr. Lewis." 

Ryan slightly cringed but bid me pleasant salutations before leaving. 

Cloud nine didn't even describe where I was at as I left the school. Ryan and I were going to be a couple again! I could barely stand the energy pulsing through me as I drove home. I called Cori from my bedroom that night and she offered her congratulations before I rushed her off the phone. I didn't want the line tied up if Ryan decided to call me. 

I fell asleep waiting, but I sent him a text on my way out of the door the following morning. 

*Glad we started that talk yesterday ;) Maybe we could finish it sometime soon?* 

"Sexting already?" Cori chuckled as I climbed into her Jeep. 

"Ha ha. No. I was just seeing when we were going to get together and finish our talk." 

"He hasn't contacted you yet?" 

"No." 

"Oh," she said, deadpan. 

"What?" 

"Nothing. So, to Bridal Elegance we go! What colors are you and Dustin wearing again?" 

I sensed her evasion. "No. No. What were you gonna say, Cori?" 

"I don't know. I just find it odd that he wants to get back together but didn't contact you at all last night. But it could be nothing, Dani. Men do that sometimes." 

"You don't think he wants to get back together...you think he's playing me?" 

"No! I never said that, Danica. I just wonder what he was up to last night is all." 

"I'm sure he'll tell me when he texts me back." 

"I know. So...colors?" 

"Burnt orange," I huffed. 

"Oh. Makes sense. You both have the right skin tone for it. Liam wants to go with green. Smart man. It'll contrast the red of my hair, which I can't wait to have dyed, by the way." 

"Mmhmm." 

"Dani. Come on. Don't be mad at me. I just have your best interest at heart." 

"I know, Cori. I just wish you were a little more accepting of Ryan and I getting back together." 

"No! I'm all for it!" 

I continued as if she hadn't said anything. "Do you not like him anymore or something?" 

"Danica. I do like Mr. Lewis. Ryan. I mean, Ryan. I just don't want you to get to thinking this relationship is going to be something different than what it can be. He'll still be your teacher for a little over a week. Not only that, but you may have to keep it under wraps until you finish college." 

I sighed. "You're right. We probably will. I wish it didn't have to be that way, but I'd rather have him and know that he's mine as opposed to the other option. I hated being without him, Cori. I made mistakes during our breakup, but I think I've changed enough to where I can see my faults clearly enough. He even said I was acting better and that he was proud of me." 

"I know. I know. Hey, it'll all work out, but in the meantime," Cori said, throwing the car into park, "we need to bring sexy back. I hope they've restocked their inventory. What a travesty it'd be to show up to prom in the same dress as another girl," Cori put on a face of mock horror. 

I had to laugh. The last time I saw two girls at a school function with the same dress on, one of the girls left the dance crying because juice was "accidentally" spilled on her. "Let's do it." 

We spent hours in the store—well over our appointment time. I think the consultant was getting irritated with us, but it was our senior prom. Of course we had to use our brains to pick the appropriate dresses. The bell that chimed with the door sounded through the store and our consultant jumped. "Ladies, if you'll excuse me." 

I laughed as she rounded the corner. "She's had it with us." 

"At least we found our dresses. We need to get out of here anyway; we have our hair appointment soon. Which I don't know why you scheduled this early anyway." 




Mr. Lewis Ch. 04



"I've told you, I want to have some time so my highlights will look more—" 

Cori bumped into me but I barely budged. "Dani! Ouch! What's—? Oh...No." 

Yes, there Ryan was. In Bridal Elegance. With another woman. 

"There has to be some type of explanation, Danica. Let's not jump to conclusions until we know all the facts." 

"Right, facts," I recited numbly. 

We walked to the front of the store, our dresses in hand. The consultant greeted us by name. 

"Danica, Cori! You girls made a decision?" 

Ryan's head whipped around so fast the movement looked unnatural. Like something from The Exorcist. Our eyes met, until the woman he was with took his attention away from me. 

"Ry Ry, let's go look at what they got!" 

"I'll be right over as soon as I ring these girls up, Mrs. Lewis," the consultant gushed. 

"Mrs. Lewis!" the blonde bitch clapped and squealed. "Doesn't that sound so official, Ry Ry?" 

I couldn't take it anymore. I gave my dress to Cori along with my credit card and left the store. 

"Danica! Wait!" Ryan called after me. 

I didn't answer for fear of my voice cracking under the strain of my unshed tears. 

"Danica! I know you hear me! Hey!" He caught up to me and grabbed hold of my arm. "Hey! Will you stop?" 

"Is this the reason why?" 

"Why what?" 

"Is this the reason why you were so quick to break up with me after I came back? Were you with her the entire time? Have I always been a side piece?" 

"What, Dani? No! You don't get it. I told you change was coming but—" 

"But what? You didn't want me to find out like this? You didn't want me to see that you and Malibu Barbie are engaged and about to ride off into the sunset?" I cocked my head to the side. "And to think, I thought we were getting back together." I laughed derisively. "I was stupid." 

"Danica—" 

I threw my hands out in front of me. "No! No. It's fine. I get it. I'm still immature and stuff. I get it. Just go back to your fiancée, Ryan." 

"That girl is NOT my fiancée! Danica, if you would just listen to me," Ryan ran his hands through his hair. 

"There's nothing left to say. Just go. Please." I looked into Ryan's eyes. I was unsure of what he saw there, but it had him retreating toward the store. 

I stood by Cori's jeep, unable to do anything besides breathe. Even that was laborious. 

I should've known it was too good to be true. There was no way Ryan Lewis wanted to be with me. He was clear about it in February, and now it was even more apparent. 

Engaged! 

My stomach jolted just at the thought. 

"Dan," Cori's voice came from behind me. 

"Well, at least I know why he was so happy for the past week." 

"We can just go home if you want, Dani. We don't have to stay out." 

"No, the day doesn't have to stop. Let's go," I said, opening the passenger door. 

If Cori tried to talk to me during the ride over to Fox and Hounds salon, I had no recollection of it. Numbness filled me, making conversation impossible on my part. I could feel the tension and pity falling from her; it made me even more upset. 

The stylist swiveled my chair around, making me face the mirror. I looked haunted. How could my face change so much in just a few short hours? 

"So, I have you down for some highlights today. Is there anything else you'd like for me to do today?" 

I looked at my reflection—at the locks that flowed down past my shoulders—and sighed. "Cut it off. All of it." 

The hairdresser gasped and Cori hopped out of her chair. 

"No, Dani! Your hair is...no..." 

"Are you sure, honey?" the stylist asked, looking too afraid to even pick up the scissors. 

I sighed. "It's time for a change. Do it." 

"Okay. Now once it's gone...it's gone. Unless you want to pay for extensions, of course." 

"I know." I was beginning to get irritated with this woman's pleas for me to keep my hair. 

"Did you have a cut in mind?" 

I pulled up a picture on my phone and she went to work. 

My hair fell to the floor with silent tears.



Mr. Lewis Ch. 05



Hey there, readers!

I just want to take the time to thank those of you that have followed Danica and Ryan's story from the beginning. Those of you that picked up in later chapters, I thank you, too! I am seriously nothing without my readers and fans; that being said, I need you guys' help. 

This part of the series is about to come to a close (I figure I have three or so chapters left) and I want you guys' opinions on what to do for the next part of the series. Do you want to see Danica and Ryan succeed? Do you want them to call it quits? What about my writing style? What would you like to see from me as an author? I will be taking suggestions from now until the last chapter from this installment is posted. 

Also, don't forget to vote for my stories. It helps me to finish them knowing people like them so much! 

Happy Reading! 

[[CC]]




Senior week was upon the class of 2014; liberation hung in the air for every senior, except me. 

What would I be free from? Sure, I wouldn't have to sit in Ryan's class and rerun the scene of him and Malibu Barbie at Bridal Elegance, but we would still be in the same town. We were bound to run into each other eventually. Yep...me, "Ry Ry", and his fiancée.

Even after six days, the word still left a bitter taste in my mouth. Why wouldn't it? After all, the man took my virginity while being engaged to another woman. 

I shook my head before running my fingers through my almost nonexistent hair, producing a slight chuckle. Everybody flipped about my new lack of locks, especially my mom. 

"Danica! I thought you were going out to get some highlights!" she about fell out of her chair at the sight of me. 

My father's grin should've hurt his face it was so wide. "You don't like it? I find it to be...fresh."

When I went to school the following Monday, nearly everyone did a double take—some did a triple take. Ryan's mouth fell open, but he didn't say much to me. It wasn't until Thursday we actually had any interaction...mostly because that was the day of the final and I couldn't skip without failing. It wasn't as if he didn't try to contact me, because he did. I ignored all of his calls, texts, and emails after I figured they said same thing: "Danica, I am NOT engaged." 

How could he not be engaged? I collected all the evidence I needed in Bridal Elegance. Her new last name was to be Lewis, she was in the bridal store hanging all over Ryan...she had a ring on her finger. Did I need anything more? He couldn't explain this away, and I wouldn't let him. 

He placed a final exam on my desk, but lingered for far longer than necessary. His fingers drummed against the packet, drawing attention to a neon blue post-it note attached to the exam. I sighed and nodded slightly. It read:

Danica,

I know you've been ignoring me, and I know you don't believe me yet, but I AM NOT in any relationship. Watch for this Saturday's edition of the Pantagraph for your proof. 

I rolled my eyes. What the hell am I gonna be reading the newspaper for? I thought to myself before crumpling the note and tossing it into my backpack. 

I already put the note out of my mind by the time Friday rolled around. It was the day of the senior trip and I had no time to worry about Ryan Lewis and his fiancée. 

"Nice day to be lounging about in the sun," Cori commented as I shut the door to my house. 

My head fell to the side. "Why didn't you come in? How long have you been standing here?"

"I was getting outta the car when Beth-Ann ambushed me."

I rolled my eyes. "So she's still hounding you for information?"

"Well yeah...you kinda stole her boy toy."

I snorted in derision. "Right, because Dustin Hoffman was all Beth-Ann's. She needs to get over the fact that he doesn't want her. Ever since she found out him and I are going to prom together she's been a little witch—using every opportunity possible to give me the stink eye and mumbling about me under her breath. Petty, fifth grade bullshit." 

"She's so shallow. Everyone knows she wouldn't have touched Hoffman with a ten-foot pole if he were still that chunky, Star Wars-loving freak."

"Exactly! He's mine now and she wants to get upset about it."

"Yours?"

"Well, we're going to prom, aren't we?"

"As friends," Cori said, opening up the passenger side door. "Or were you thinking about going for more?"

I shrugged. "I don't know."

Cori shook her head. "Just be careful, Dani. I know you got an ugly truth last Saturday, but that doesn't mean you need to go out with Dustin."

"I know, I know," I huffed. Hearing this speech again bored me. If Ryan was with someone else, why shouldn't I be? And Ryan was really with someone else. 

Engaged. 

I shuttered as I continued to weave in and out of traffic on the way to school. When I pulled into the parking lot, buses were lined up, waiting to be filled with rowdy seniors. 

"Look, there's Erin," Cori pointed to the petite blonde standing by her Prius. 

"Mhm."

"Dani," Cori whined. "Don't be upset."

"I'm not. I just want to have some fun. I don't think that's too much to ask considering how screwed up my senior year has been. I was relocated across the country because of a rumor; I came back and lost my virginity to my engaged history teacher and he dumped me...multiple times. I wasted most of this week feeling sorry for myself, but now this is my chance for something other than sadness and borderline depression."

Cori nodded. "I get that. Just don't have too much fun. It could come back to bite you in the ass."

I didn't respond, but instead put the car in park and exited. 

"Hey guys! Are you excited?" Erin skipped toward me, her face bright. 

"As I'll ever be," I said. "Are the guys here yet?"

"Yeah, they're checking in with Mr. Lewis about the carpool thing. The teachers still have to take attendance and all that."

"Mr. Who?" I asked, hoping I heard her wrong. 

"Mr. Lewis," she giggled. "He's a last minute chaperone. Mrs. Bouty's gout flared up, so she couldn't make it."

I turned to Cori whose face had fallen into a deep frown. It didn't go unnoticed. 

"What's wrong?" Erin stopped bouncing, her eyes probing.

"The idiot thought I cheated on my final because I was done so quickly," I lied. "I'm still annoyed about it." 

Erin shook her head. "You'd think he'd know you better than that. You're top in his class...."

"Oh well...not much I can do about it now. Maybe he was just having an off day," I said. "Do we have to go check in or what?" I asked, eager to change the topic. 

"Yeah, just to make sure we're not skipping school altogether, you know," Erin said as we made our way over to Mr. Fox. He checked us as "present" and gave us a warning to not speed or make any pit stops on the way to King's Action Park. 

I spent the better half of that morning annoyed and frustrated. Annoyed, because nearly everywhere I turned, there was Beth-Ann—barely clothed. Her spray on tan and hot pink bikini was the talk of the trip; but it appeared to have no affect on Dustin. He was faithfully by my side, asking about my welfare, constantly trying to involve me in conversation. The more attention he paid to me, the more irritated she became. 

I was also frustrated by Ryan's presence. When we were together, I pictured this day much different. I saw Cori, our mutual friends, and me lousing about, snacking on all the food in sight, and me sneaking off to the bathroom for a quickie with Ryan every now and then. Not now, though. With him around, the thought of what could have been tripped me up—it was making it hard to enjoy the day. 

A series of giggles interrupted my internal brooding. They came from none other than Beth-Ann and her terror squad. I didn't know why the giggles started but I gathered the gist of it when I heard one of her cronies mention a "Miley Cyrus haircut". 

"Dani, let it go," Cori said, rising from her lawn chair as I did.

I ignored her. "Excuse me? Do you have something you need to say to me?" I would have added her name to the end of my sentence, but I couldn't remember it. 

"Not really." Her voice was high pitched, which contrasted her butch-like face. 

"Then maybe you could take your conversation fucking elsewhere."

"No need to be hostile," Beth-Ann crooned. "We were just looking for Dustin."

I motioned to him with my hand. "You see him sitting over there. I don't know why you had to stand here and flaunt your plastic ass chest to try and flag him down."

Her smile faded. "Dustin. Can I have a quick talk with you? Alone."

"What about?"

"Last night," she said, not looking away from me.

"Oh, that...we don't really have much to discuss," he said. The chill in his voice was unlike him. 

"But, I think we do."

Dustin shrugged. "Then talk to your friends. As you can see, I'm spending time with my friends and prom date."

"Right. She's just your prom date. Not your girlfriend," Beth-Ann crossed her arms and planted her feet. 

I walked to Dustin and sat on his lap. "Who says I'm not?"

"You two are together?" Beth-Ann's face turned the color of a ripe tomato. 

"Are you dying to know? Is it killing you, Beth-Ann?" I smirked.

By this time, our rift accumulated an audience, and I was ready to give a damn good show. I placed my arms around Dustin's neck just as Ryan walked over. 

"You think you're so hot!" Beth-Ann snarled, her fake southern drawl lost. "But if you were, you would've fucked him already. Guess I beat you to that."

My face faltered, and she saw it, but I recovered. "That's fine. Now when I fuck him, he'll know what it's like to be with a real woman."

The crowd erupted in gasps, "ohs", and a slew of curses. I won, all I needed was for Beth-Ann to walk away and I could get off Dustin's lap. A lap she had already been on, apparently. 

She didn't budge. "I don't know why you're after him anyway. Isn't Mr. Lewis more your type? Everyone knows you're in love with him!" What was she doing? She already lost the fight, now she was ambling about in hysterics...?

I put her out of her misery. "Oh, are you mad you're not woman enough for him either?"

"As if that were even imaginable!" She threw her head back and laughed, missing the fact that Ryan was standing close enough to touch her shoulder. "He may be decent for a couple fucks, but probably pales in comparison to your prom date, though."

Ryan shook his head and groaned. "Okay, I've heard enough. Miss Norris, Miss Matthews, come with me."

I shrugged, got off Dustin's lap and left with Ryan and Beth-Ann. Ryan didn't say a word to us as we wove through students and faculty, but I could tell he was pissed. Beyond pissed. He pulled his phone out and typed something at lightening speed, but did not return his cell to his pocket. Every now and then he checked it and typed something new. We walked to the opposite end of the park before he spoke. 

"Beth-Ann, Principal Fox is over there," Ryan pointed to the putt-putt course. 

"Why doesn't she have to go see him?"

"Because all I heard was your grotesque sexual assault on me and Mr. Hoffman. If you could take off, please. And don't lie to him. He already knows everything."

"She's not even going to get in trouble! I knew you two had something going on!" Beth-Ann's lips trembled as she followed through with the rest of her tantrum. 

"Don't make things any worse, Beth-Ann. Get going." He waited until Beth-Ann was out of earshot before rounding on me. "You. Follow me. Now."

"Excuse me?" I took a step back. "I think I'll pass."

"Follow me now, or I'll send you to Fox right along with Norris. Now is not the time for your shit, Danica."

He started walking and I had to jog to keep up. "What the fuck's your problem?"

He didn't answer.

"If you're gonna drag me away from my friends, at least tell me why!"

He didn't respond.

"Asshole."

He responded. 

"Be quiet, Danica!"

"Why?!"

He stopped in front of a brick building whose sign boasted, "bathroom". He threw the door open and stomped inside. I followed.

"Are we really doing this again?"

"Doing what?" I crossed my arms.

He knocked the corner of his phone against his forehead. "The whole using Dustin thing. It's old."

"Old? It obviously got a rise out of you."

"Yeah, and it got a rise out of him, but in the sickest of manners. What are you playing at?"

"Oh, so we're gonna question me when you're the one fucking students while your engaged? That's rich."

Ryan moved past me, locked the door and walked toward me. He moved so swiftly, I was forced against the stall's wall. He slammed his hands on either side of my face, causing me to gasp. "Danica," his voice was barely above a whisper, but he might as well been yelling. "You are trying my patience. Kara is not my fiancée. End of story. Like I said, read the paper tomorrow and you'll see the truth. Even more than that, you'll see how stupid your little stunt with Dustin was. And you're not going to prom with him tomorrow."

I laughed. "Who says? You?"

He cocked his eyebrow, signifying a "yes". 

"You messed up my senior trip, and now you're gonna try to mess up my prom night, too? Get over yourself, Ryan. I'm going."

"You can go all you want. Just not with him."

"And why not?"

"Because it's all a game to him!"

"What makes you think you know anything about him?"

"The kid is a sleaze. He did sleep with Beth-Ann, and he's trying to take you next. Him and his buddies have a bet going; in short, he has to bed you by graduation."

"What buddies?" As far as I knew, Dustin only hung out with a reluctant Cori and me.

"The ones he talks to when you're not around."

I shook my head. "Whatever, Ryan. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh yeah? So when I confiscated Bryan Cross's phone yesterday, it didn't show Dustin plowing through Beth-Ann and saying 'challenge completed'? You know what? Okay. Go ahead and go to prom with him, and you'll see for yourself."

My stomach turned queasy, but I couldn't give Ryan the upper hand. There was no way I could let him see I thought he told the truth. "Okay, are we done now?"

"No. We're not." 

I sighed. I was exhausted. Between Beth-Ann, Dustin, and Ryan, my nerves were shot. "What do you want, Ryan?"

He backed away from me and leaned against the opposite wall. "Dani. I love you."

I shook my head, hoping it would help clear it. "What?" 

"I really do, and this entire relationship has been a mess. We made dumb decisions, we've both been immature in a lot of areas, but that doesn't change how I feel about you. I'm tired of us being apart. I have to have you in my life, even if it has to be a secret. That's what I was trying to tell you last Friday, Dani. I just couldn't get it out. I was afraid that you'd reject me. I didn't know what you'd think about us being together with everything that's happened." 

His palms pressed on his temples as if he were trying to hold his thoughts together. 

"I came on this trip to protect you. As soon as I heard what Dustin was up to, I volunteered for the open chaperone spot. I know you may not believe it, but I do care about you. I really do, and if Dustin ever did anything to hurt you—I'd lose my job. I would make the kid suffer."

"Ryan, I—"

"No. No...you don't have to say anything yet. Just wait until you find out the truth about Kara in the paper tomorrow, okay? Just...don't make any decisions based off heightened emotions. I know this day has been rough for you...this entire week probably has been rough, but please, just listen to me for once. And if you do decide, against my warning, to go to prom with Dustin, please be careful."

All I could do was nod. What in the great fuck was going on today?!

Ryan left the bathroom first, and I followed shortly after. We said nothing as we parted ways. 

"What happened?" Cori asked when I arrived back to our hang out spot. 

"Beth-Ann was sent to see Fox. I'm off the hook."

"Wow. She could be in jeopardy of not graduating," Erin gasped. 

"I doubt it," Dustin said. "Her mom and dad will pay the school whatever they have to so she can stay out of trouble."

"So, is it true, man?" Liam asked. 

"Is what true?" Dustin didn't meet his eyes.

"Did you sleep with Beth-Ann?"

Dustin looked uncomfortable as we all waited for his answer. 

"That's all the proof we need," I said, grabbing my bag from the ground and heading toward my car. 

"Dani, Wait!" Dustin called after me. 

I flipped him the bird and kept walking. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I continued to make my way to the car. Was it really that hard to find a man that told the truth... to be loyal and honest? Would it really kill a man to say, "hey, I'm talking to another girl, just so you know"? Now the entire weekend was messed up. I was not going to prom with Dustin after this, and now I wasn't going to graduate in the company of both my best friends. 

After checking that I hadn't been followed, I opened the driver's side door and climbed in the car. Tears spilled down my face in warm torrents. Time ceased to exist as I sat in the car, as I recalled the whole of my senior year: going to California, coming home, Ryan taking my virginity...Ryan breaking up with me. I took inventory of all major and minor events: not much good had come from this school year.

Except for Ryan's recent declaration of love, I thought before I could stop myself. 

No. This time, I really couldn't dare to dream. I did last time and he ended up engaged! What would come of hoping this time? He'd end up having five kids with five different women. I cracked a smile and knew I had officially lost my mind—the idea of Ryan being some type of womanizer should not have been so entertaining. Students began to move like a herd toward the buses and cars, so I stashed my bag in the trunk and prepared for an awkward, hour-long car ride. Much to my relief, no one tried to make conversation until we arrived back at the school. "See ya tomorrow, guys," Erin said, the bounce in her step gone. 

Liam said his goodbyes and gave Cori a kiss on the cheek. It made my heart swell to see a guy she liked actually smitten with her. It made me forget my misfortune until Dustin came to my side of the car and started speaking. 

"Are we still on for tomorrow?"

"Why would we be? I'm sure Beth-Ann is itching to take you to prom. Go find her."

"Danica. Don't be like this. You know we've been friends for a long time. I've liked you as more than a friend for a long time."

"And that obviously meant jack shit to you while you were shoving your cock into Beth-Ann. Get away from my car."

"Danica!"

"Get the fuck away from my car, or I'll run you over."

Dustin's eyes were hard as he glared at me, but I didn't back down. 

"I think you heard her correctly, Dustin," Cori said, leaning across me. "Back the fuck up."

"This is between me and Danica, Cori. For once in your miserable life, stay out of this."

"Whoa, now I'm gonna have to get involved. You're crossing so many lines right now, Dustin. You better walk away. Now," Liam's chest puffed out some as he approached Dustin.

"This isn't over. I'll see you tomorrow, Danica." I watched Dustin walk all the way to his car and waited for him to drive away so I wouldn't be tempted to follow up on my threat to run him over. 

Cori and I continued with our plans for the night—manicures and pedicures, dinner at our favorite spot, and a slumber party...though, there was less of the "party". My heart wasn't in anything we did, and she could tell. The good thing about Cori was that she knew when to pull conversation from me, and she knew when to let me be. She let me be that night, but I was questioned promptly as I entered the kitchen the next morning.




Mr. Lewis Ch. 05



"Why are you still so upset, Dani? You didn't really like Dustin, did you?" Cori asked while picking apart a bagel. 

I sighed. I, too, asked myself the same question. I found difficulty in admitting the truth to myself about why I was so upset about Dustin's betrayal; and it was even harder to admit it out loud.

"I think I liked the idea of Dustin. He was safe and familiar. Easy. To be honest, he was my backup plan. I think it hurt more to hear he was screwing Beth-Ann behind my back than him actually screwing Beth-Ann, if that makes any sense. I, uh...I liked him well enough to settle; but, his tryst with Beth-Ann was enough for me to lose any type of extra feelings I had for him. I felt like he'd been lying to me for our entire friendship. Popularity meant more to him than he let on," I sighed. 

"I just can't believe he reduced you to a notch on his belt," Cori shook her head. "That's low, and makes me wonder if he even liked you at all."

"I think he did in the beginning, but his desire to be someone else—to be liked—was far more important. And that's fine. I can't really be mad at him for it anymore. I just know where we stand and I don't want him in my life after tonight."

"I'm so glad you're not settling for him. You don't need to settle for just any guy because he seems to be a good match for you, Dani." She took a bite of bagel before continuing. "So, are you finally gonna answer the phone for him, then?"

"This incessantly ringing thing? Yeah, I guess. I just have to make it clear that we're going as friends only and after tonight, we're done."

"What about Ryan and his bathroom confession?"

"I can only deal with one crazy guy at a time," I laughed without humor. 

"But you want to be with him?" Cori asked.

"Yeah...but we know that's impossible, what with his fiancée and all."

"Ryan Lewis isn't engaged, Dani."

"So he says. What's going on? Just yesterday, you were saying how I got an 'ugly truth' and now you're on his side?"

Cori tossed a rolled newspaper in my direction. "Read it and weep—for joy, of course." 

A sigh escaped my lips. After all the mess with Dustin, I forgot about Ryan's newspaper plea. I set my cup of coffee on the kitchen counter and took up the paper. Circled in red ink was an engagement announcement—for Miss Kara Edwards and Stefan Lewis. I recognized the girl—Malibu Barbie, and I even somewhat recognized the guy. His eyes were the same shape and color of Ryan's. They could've been twins. Words could not make their way out of my mouth, but tears somehow found a way to escape. 

"Those aren't happy tears, Danica. What's wrong?"

"Ryan was right. I do feel stupid."

"I'm kinda lost."

"When he cornered me in the bathroom yesterday, he told me I was gonna regret playing with Dustin and basically everything. I do. Why is he always right?"

"He's not always right, Dan. But, he was right about this."

"How could he want me after such a display of idiocy? After all my displays of idiocy?"

Every mistake I made with Ryan and our relationship flooded back into my brain, causing another lump to form in my throat. "I was so selfish, and petty. I was hurt, but I mean...man. Why would he even want me?"

"Danica," Cori made her way around the counter and placed her arm over my shoulder. "You both had bouts of idiocy. What's important is that you two are willing to forgive each other and move forward." 

I nodded. "Well, what am I supposed to do?"

"Why are you asking me that? You should be asking him," Cori laughed. 

I took the hint.

The ride to Ryan's took too long, even accounting for the serious speeding I was doing. I hopped out of the car, sped walked to the door, and knocked. 

"Why didn't I just ring the doorbell? Stupid, stupid," I chastised myself until I heard locks being unlatched. 

The door swung open and he stood before me, shirtless and sleepy-eyed. His pajama pants hung off his hips, sending heat in a flood throughout my body. God, I did not come here for sex!

"Danica?"

I held up the newspaper. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"About what?" he rubbed his eyes. 

"The engagement, Ryan. Keep up."

"Keep up? It's like 8AM." Ryan pulled me inside and closed the door. I waited for him to speak as he moved about the kitchen, gathering ingredients for coffee. 

In my attempt to not watch him too closely, I ambled about the kitchen. Everything was in its rightful place, not a spoon or fork out of its holder, dishtowels were folded neatly. A new tile backsplash wrapped around the wall from the hood and range over to end of the counter. It was a pretty shade of green. Was it army green? Maybe forest green?

"You like that?" he asked, noticing my preoccupation.

"Yeah. It's green, of course I like it."

He smiled in a sleepy, sexy kind of way, making the apex of my thighs ache. 

"Would you like some coffee?"

"No. Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, trying to get back to the task at hand.

"Like I said in the note, I knew you wouldn't believe me. If you haven't noticed, you're not one to listen to reason when you're upset."

"I'll give you that. But still...."

"So you do regret your time with Dustin yesterday?" he perked up.

"Yeah, yeah. You were right. Go ahead and gloat."

"Well, I did tell you so." 

"Whatever. Dustin confessed."

"Did he, now?"

"Kinda. Liam asked him if it was true and he looked really guilty; and, considering the fact he didn't actually say 'no, it's not true'... He never admitted to the other part, you know, about him trying to fuck me," Ryan winced, but I continued anyway, "but I figured that was true, too."

"So, have you decided about prom?"

I nodded. "I'm going with him, but I made sure to tell him we'd only be going as friends, and that our communication and friendship after prom was going to be extremely limited."

Ryan shrugged. It's your choice, Danica. But I'll be there watching either way."

"What?"

"I've been enlisted to be a chaperone. Fun, I know." He ran his fingers through his hair. His muscles flexed with every move he made, making the temperature rise within me. 

"Well, at least I won't be feeling guilty about spending the night with your nemesis while you're at home worrying about me."

Ryan put his coffee down. "And why would you feel guilty?"

Oh, my God. Stop moving, Ryan. "Because...I would feel bad...?"

"And why would you feel bad?" He stalked toward me like I was his prey and I had to fight for my eyes to meet his. 

"I already told you. You'd be worrying about me while I was out with him."

Ryan came to a stop in front of me. "I think you'd feel bad because you wouldn't want me to sit home alone. You'd rather be here with me."

I didn't respond.

Ryan's hands cupped my face. "Did you think about what I said in that bathroom, Danica?"

I nodded. 

"So?"

A million cheesy lines ran through my head at that moment, but I stuck with the simplest one. "I love you."

His eyes darkened with desire before his lips met mine. 

I was intoxicated as our lips battled each other's for control. When his mouth moved to my neck, I saw my opportunity. "Ryan. We can't. I have somewhere to go. I'm meeting Cori."

"This won't take long. Lay down."

"On the floor?"

"Like we haven't done it before."

"Fine," I said, lowering myself onto the tile.

Ryan wasted no time in removing my pants and underwear. He spread my legs and let out an appreciative groan before looking up at me. "I never told you this, but I like your new haircut."

"What does that have—? AHH!" My head fell backward as his tongue laved at my folds. I came in seconds.

Ryan slid a finger into my wetness and moaned. "So responsive. So tight. When was the last time? Was it with me?"

"Who asks that during sex? Really, Ryan?"

He crooked his finger forward in me, making me cry out. "I already know the answer, Danica. The proof is right here," he said, wiggling his finger inside me. "I just want to hear you say it. I want to hear you say it's all mine. Say it."

"It's yours," I crooned. "All yours."

He murmured something I couldn't make out before his mouth found my clit again. My hips bucked off the floor. "I'm gonna have to tie you down next time," Ryan chuckled into my pussy, making me gasp. 

"You're not into that," I huffed.

"You'd be surprised what I'm into, Danica. We've barely even scratched the surface of things I could do to you," he said before taking a swipe of my clit. "You still have the prettiest little pussy. God," Ryan said, devouring me. 

He added another finger into me, stretching me even wider, and increasing the pace. The delicious building I longed for began, making me writhe on the floor. 

"That's it. That's the way, Danica," Ryan said, his voice raspy. 

I came with a loud, guttural groan. 

We lay on the floor for what could have been hours...or was it minutes? Maybe seconds? I could never tell when Ryan and I were in our own world. He pulled my pants up and helped me from the floor.

"We're not going to...?"

He shook his head before taking a drink of coffee. "Not right now. You have somewhere to be, and I want to take my time with you. You need it."

"What do you mean?"

"I'd probably hurt you if I took you now. Too tight. Limited self-control. You know. But believe me, I would love to have you wobbling around because I fucked you so good; but, that might ruin your night," he nodded to himself. "Dancing and all that."

The bulging of his cock in his pants was evident, as was his strain to no longer touch me. He had been waiting for me too, I could tell by the fire in his eyes and the flexing of his jaw. He fought his desire for me, and he fought hard. 

I dropped to my knees before him, releasing his girth from its restraint. 

"Danica? No, it's—shit," he hissed as I took the head of his cock into my mouth.

I had no idea what I was doing—I'd never given oral before—but for him, I was willing to try. My tongue swirled around the head and his thighs tightened under my hands. I guess that meant I was doing something right.

I eased more of him into my mouth and he hissed. "Danica."

"Hmm?" I looked up at him. 

"You're driving me crazy and you've barely touched me."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"Yes, and no."

"So, no," I said before I continued to work on Ryan's girth. 

Oral wasn't as bad as some girls depicted. Sure, it took some getting used to, but to see Ryan gripping the counter top and moaning made me want to continue for hours. I took as much of him in my mouth as I could and let my hand work the rest of his shaft. I was unsure if I'd ever be able to fit all of him in my mouth, but I'd sure practice. 

My hand fell from his cock as he slid his hand into my hair and pushed his hips forward. "Oh, my God." He groaned as he continued to slide in and out of my mouth. He was steadily unraveling; with every gentle thrust of his hips, he moved closer to his orgasm. His eyes rolled back and I knew he was a goner. He thrust into my mouth as much as he could, muttering and groaning. I knew there was no stopping him—I didn't want to stop him. 

His seed spurted down my throat and on my face as he pulled out. "I'm sor—I'm sorry, Danica," he gasped as he continued to come. I didn't even know it was possible for a man to come as long as he did. The hot, sticky liquid coated my face and neck, but he continued to come. I was sure he'd need a glass of water when he finally finished. And probably a sandwich.

When he was done, I wiped him off with my tongue and put his member back in his pants. 

"I'm so sorry Danica. I didn't mean to lose control like that," he said, moving around me. He wet a cloth and practically ran to where I stood. "God, I've never come that quick."

"What are you apologizing for? It happens." He wiped my face and neck until I slapped his hand away. 

"You didn't have to do that, Danica."

"Now we're even. I just wanted to take the edge off some," I shrugged. 

Ryan sighed and pulled me in for a hug. "What am I gonna do with you, Danica?"

I was about to answer when my phone rang. "It's Cori," I told Ryan before I answered. "Cori. I'm on my way," I hung up the phone and addressed Ryan. "I gotta go."

"I know. Gotta get all prom-ified and stuff. Or whatever it is girls do these days."

"Don't worry about me and Dustin. It'll be fine. Plus, you'll be there to watch, so not much can go wrong."

He nodded. "I know. But hey, we need to talk after. We have a lot to discuss before we move forward. We can't jump into this willy nilly this time, Dani."

I opened the front door, laughing. "Wasn't what we just did considered 'jumping in willy nilly'?"

He laughed with me. "Go on. Get outta here. I'll see you later."

*

I was giddy the entire night, even accounting for my mom's incessant need to take pictures and Dustin's presence. He tried to make conversation with me and act like the last day and a half didn't happen, but I wasn't letting him off the hook that easily. I wasn't letting him off the hook at all. 

When we took pictures, I made sure he kept his hands in an acceptable position; after our meal, I paid my own tab (which got him a round of jabs from the wait staff and the guys at the table), and I did not sit next to him in the stretch limo we shared. When we arrived to the actual prom, the dance was in full swing. 

"Ugh, thank God they didn't try to do this in a gym like previous years. That would've sucked," Cori said.

"I know, right? There probably would've been lame balloons and streamers," Erin giggled. 

I was thankful prom was held at a hotel for different reasons. With a hotel of this magnitude, Ryan and I could sneak off without being seen. "I'm gonna mingle for a little," I said, eager to get away from Dustin and the other couples. 

"Let us go with you, Dan. If that's okay, Liam?" Cori's touch to her date looked feather-light. It brought a smile to my face. Most of her interactions with the opposite sex involved her slapping or punching them. 

"Just make sure I get to dance with you," Liam said, kissing her cheek. 

I waited until we left to squeal. "Cori! He is so diggin' you!"

"He asked me to be his girlfriend," she gushed.

"And of course you said yes, look at you two!" I clapped and hopped up and down. 

"Careful there, I don't want you to break your neck with those heels," Cori said.

"Ohhhh!" Erin squealed. "Ethan and I are dating now, too! I mean, I know it's senior year and we're going off to college soon or whatever, but it's still exciting! Maybe we could keep in touch and see where the relationship will go."

"That's what Liam and I are doing!"

"Oh, Danica. I wish Dustin wasn't such a jerk," Erin pouted. 

"Believe me, I am more than okay in that department; and after tonight, we're done. No friendship, no nothing."

"I just can't reconcile the two...the Dustin from Valentine's Day, then this guy," Erin said, waving her hand to where Dustin was chatting it up with Beth-Ann in the back of the ballroom. 

"I hope they work things out. They kinda actually belong together," I cocked my head to the side as I studied the couple. 

"Yeah, the sleaze and slut. Perfect combo," Cori said. 

We ambled about the ballroom, complimenting girls on their dresses and high-fiving some guys as they passed us by. By the time we'd done two rounds of mingling, we found Ryan, posted at a table, looking as if he were searching for someone. My heart glowed at the realization that he was probably searching for me. 

Erin noticed my preoccupation. "I'm glad he's over that whole 'you cheated on my exam thing'," she said. "You know, you two would make such an awesome couple. You guys both love history and have kinda the same sense of humor. You seem to challenge each other, too. It sucks he's your teacher."

I gaped at Erin, unable to speak. 

Cori recovered for me. "He's technically not her teacher. She passed his class and is graduating tomorrow."

"True," Erin giggled.

"I think I'm gonna go chat it up with him. You guys go ahead and have fun with your dates. Thanks for mingling with me."

"Anytime. Just find us when you need company," Cori said, taking Erin's hand and leading her away. 

I made the small trek toward Ryan, my heart racing the entire time. I reached his table and a smile lit his face. "You look beautiful." Ryan's voice washed over me like a wave on the sand. "And that color does wonders for your skin."

I took a seat next to him. "Watch it, now. We're around like 500 seniors, plus your colleagues and bosses." 

"I can't help it. I like these too, by the way," he touched one of my chandelier earrings. 

"Ryan," I shook my head. 

"I'm sorry. I'm just happy to have you back—even if you did show up with that...kid. He's out skulking about, by the way. Probably looking for you."

"He'll find me eventually. But, until then, you have my undivided attention."

He smiled. "Are you having a good time?"

"Meh...I feel like I just got here. But on a totally unrelated note, Erin thinks we'd make a cute couple."

"Does she, now?" Ryan looked amused. "I knew I liked that girl."

"How're your chaperone duties going?"

"So far, so good. No fights, no drunken students. I'm getting paid overtime to watch you and Hoffman, basically."

"Just me and Dustin?"

"Well, you're the only one I'm worried about. And with him trying to win your affections, I consequently have to keep an eye on him, too." 

"Win my affections?"

"He wants to get into your good graces by being friendly so he can still try to win this bet."

"How do you know that?"

"I'm a teacher. I hear a lot."

I laughed. "What are you? The Godfather of BHS?"

His laugh was cut short. A frown marred his features as he stared at something behind me. I was about to ask what was wrong but he cut me off. "Hoffman found you. He's on his way over here."

I sighed and shook my head. 

"Hey, Mr. Lewis," Dustin said. "Dani, I've been looking all over for you. Do you want to dance?"

"No, thank you."

He looked at the cup of punch in his hands as if deciding something. Whatever it was, he decided against it. "Well, I'll catch you later. Save me a dance?"

"See you later, Dustin," I said. 

"He seems repentant," Ryan commented when Dustin was gone. 

"I know. But it doesn't change much."

"Dani, you can be his friend. I'm not going to be mad."

"Why would I be his friend when he's reducing me to a cheap whore? That's not friendship, Ryan."

"Fair enough." 

"This night didn't turn out at all how I imagined it," I sighed. "But, I'm glad you're here. At least I can see you and imagine we're dancing and stuff."

"We can dance later on, if you'd like."

"You don't dance," I scoffed. 

"How would you know? Actually, I'm giving my brother lessons for his wedding."

"Oh, are you now? History teacher and dance instructor! Look at you!" 

"Look at me." Ryan smiled, but it immediately faded. 

"I'll be back. Fox is flagging me down."

Not soon after Ryan left did Dustin show back up. I fought to hold in the drawn out sigh that wanted to break free. 

"I brought you some punch," he said before sitting down.

"Thanks."

"Dani, listen. I'm sorry for everything yesterday."

"You know, Dustin...I know that, but it doesn't change anything. You could've just told me you wanted Beth-Ann. Friends are supposed to be honest with each other. And you still aren't even telling the whole truth. I know about the bet."

He looked horror-stricken. 

"It's fine, Dustin. Just know that's a bet you won't be winning. We're not having sex."

"I called off the bet, Dani. It was stupid of me to even take it."

"What are you gonna lose?"

"One of my cars."

"Dustin! Your parents are gonna flip! Why would you even bet something that valuable? Did you really think I was gonna sleep with you?"




Mr. Lewis Ch. 05



"I thought you liked me enough to."

"Well, at least you're being honest now," I said before taking a swig of the punch he brought me.

"Ew! What the hell kinda punch is this?"

"It's probably something old that the school just had lying around," he shrugged, but something was off in his response. His eyes shifted and he let out a curse. "Damn it," he said before rising from the table. "Dani, you gotta come with me. Now."

"Why?" 

"Just trust me."

"Yeah right!" I stood up but wobbled. "Whoa."

"Danica. Are you all right?" Ryan's voice startled me. 

"Where'd you come from?" He tried to stand me up, but I fell back over. I looked up, trying to find Dustin. I found his face, but his body wasn't attached. "What? What's going on?" 

The strobe lights began to bleed together and dance in scattered rays throughout the room. "Ryan? Ryan!"

"Danica? What's wrong?"

I screamed. "Why is your head rolling on the floor!?! Ryan!"

"Quick! Somebody call an ambulance!" I heard Ryan yell. "I need you to focus, Danica."

"What? Ryan? I can't...What?" Blackness threatened to cover me, stealing Ryan's words from his mouth as he spoke them. I was able to make out a few of them: tell, he, did. 

"The cup. Drink. Nasty."

"It's the drink!" was the last think I heard before darkness took me.



Mr. Lewis



"I'll tell you what, I can strap it to the bed of my truck and I'll follow you wherever you need to go. I'll be off in an hour." 

I didn't want to lose sight of Mr. Lewis for an entire hour, especially since I had been without him for months; but I put on a smile, paid for the tree, and went on my way. I ventured to Walmart to collect supplies for tree trimming and practically ran out of the store when I was finished. I couldn't make it back to Owen's fast enough. My Mr. Tall, Not-So-Dark, and Handsome was waiting for me; most likely not in the sense that I was eager to see him, but he was waiting for me just the same. 

"Alright, Miss Matthews-uh, Danica," Mr. Lewis corrected when I gave him the stink eye, "we're all set."

"Cool," I said, trying to sound like I wasn't just pining after him while he tied the tree to his truck. We arrived to my house and I hurried in my pursuit to open doors and instruct him on where to put the tree. He set the stand up, filled it with water, and erected the glittery masterpiece. I grinned widely. "It's perfect."

"I'm glad you like it. I think it's going to be a good surprise for Cori and, uh...Dustin."

"Me too."

We stood in an uneasy silence. I didn't want him to leave just yet, but I couldn't ask him to stay when he looked so out of sorts. I had no clue what was bothering him. That was one of the things that drew me to Mr. Lewis, I could rarely tell what was going on in his head. He was almost an enigma and he intrigued me to no end. 

"Did you want anything to drink or something to eat?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.

"No, thank you. I'm fine."

I nodded while moving to find the tree skirt in one of the Walmart bags that polluted the living room. "Shit!" I clamored while stumbling over one of the gifts my mother left sprawled on the floor.

"Danica, are you okay?" Mr. Lewis asked while catching me. 

"I'm good. I just didn't have a place to put the gifts so they're all over the damn floor. And I gotta get all of them under the tree, plus decorate the entire house before Cori gets off at six," I said, looking at the floor, noticing that he still held me in his arms. I breathed in his heavenly scent, hoping that I could bask in it for a little while longer.

"I could help you, if you like. I don't have anything to do," he offered while righting me. I felt bereft as his arms fell from my waist. 

"If it's not too much trouble. You'd be saving my life," I sighed, "apart from just now when I was nearly taken out by the collection of Walmart bags and gifts."

After some deliberation, we decided to start on the outside of the house first, which was to be the hardest part. The roof was odd and slanted at differing angles, which I was sure gave Mr. Lewis a hard time while he tried to hang all of the red lights I purchased. I hung an oversized wreath on the door and placed a holiday welcome mat in my attempt to not gawk for so long. Mr. Lewis looked some type of manly on the roof, and it was making my flesh tingle with heat. 

The next item of business was the inside of the house, which was easier than the roof, but more time consuming. "Do lights have to go on every banister?" he asked, looking around the house at all of the railings and balconies that still needed to be decorated. 

"Yes! It's my first time playing hostess, I want it to be perfect," I said, grabbing a set of lights from him and smirking before moving across the foyer toward the sweeping staircase. He chuckled and fell in line behind me. Within the next hour, I was pushing Mr. Lewis toward the foyer to admire our handiwork. 

"I have a question about the mistletoe," he said, pointing toward the fireplace mantle. My heart began to race. "Are you planning on kissing Cori? Or maybe Dustin?"

I laughed, it was a nervous, throaty sound that I hoped he wouldn't notice. "No. It's just one of those holiday must-haves, you know? Just like candy canes and stuff like that."

He nodded while taking his hands out of his pockets. "Well, I guess I better get outta here. Cori is due up any minute. I don't want to ruin your surprise."

What? No. This wasn't it; this couldn't be it. "Why don't you come by on Christmas?" I blurted without thinking. "If you don't have anything to do, that is. You can see how the tree turns out after me and Cori get done with it."

His eyes seemed to lighten. "Now that's something I have to see. I was going to watch The Grinch and eat a TV dinner, but your proposal sounds so much better," he smirked while putting on his coat. "I won't be interrupting anything will I?"

"No," I answered too eagerly, so I tried to play it off. "It's just going to be me, Cori, and Dustin, remember?"

"There's that name again," he frowned and shook his head. "I'll be here," he said before opening the front door. With one last look at me, he departed. 

*

"What does that even mean? 'There's that name again'," I complained while I tossing a slice of pizza back into the Papa John's box. As soon as Cori arrived to the house and finished her squealing and clapping over the decorations, I went over every detail of my night with Mr. Lewis and hoped that she could decode his actions.

"He's jealous, Dani, duh. He doesn't want Dustin over here stealing your attention."

"Psh, yeah right. Mr. Lewis isn't thinking about Dustin like that; or me, for that matter. He's probably just mad that Dustin is going to be here because of their relationship before I moved. Dustin never stopped talking in his class and it pissed him off."

"Right. That, and he wants you; but Dustin is a more suitable match. He's your age and not your ex teacher."

That burned, but she was right. If I were attracted to Dustin in any other way besides friendship, he would be a good match for me. "I like older guys."

Cori turned to look at me. "You know I support you in everything, Dani; and I'm glad you finally came out and admitted your feelings for Mr. Lewis, but I just don't want you to get your hopes up. It'd crush me if you got hurt."

"I know," I sighed. "I don't really have my hopes up. I just can't help being attracted to him. He's gorgeous, smart, witty-,"

"And he hangs lights very well," Cori laughed.

"He does," I laughed with her. "God. Why did this have to happen to me? Why did I have to fall for the unattainable guy?"

"Most girls do, Dani; it's just different because this guy was your teacher."

"Sure, sure."

"Dani, I have to ask... I hope it doesn't bring back bad memories or make you mad, but I have to know. Did you have sex with Mr. Lewis?" Her face and shoulders were scrunched up as she prepared for my response.

"No!" 

"Not even a kiss?"

"No. I told you, he's not into me like that," I sighed. 

"How do you know that?"

"Because he hasn't said anything. He hasn't made any type of move," I shrugged.

"And you want him to?" 

"What girl doesn't want her crush to respond in some way to her? It's a two-edged sword, though. If he does respond to me, my parents could find out and all hell would break loose; but, if he doesn't respond to me, I'd be hurt, of course." 

"Sorry, Dani. I just couldn't even imagine. I mean, if I want a guy, it's never this complicated."

I groaned and rolled over to my back. "I'm sure it's not."

"Time for bed," she said, hopping off of the floor. "No time for sappy stories when we have gifts to buy."

"I don't see why we have to be up before ten," I groaned. "It is holiday break."

"Well, I haven't gotten a gift for your B-F-F, Dustin, and I didn't get Mr. Lewis anything. Plus, all of these stockings need something to go into them. Good thing you went overboard and bought eight million of them, now everyone in town can have one," she laughed while I chucked a pillow in her direction. "But no, really. All of this is great, Dani. You didn't have to do all of this."

I told Cori, again, that I wanted to decorate the house for her, and that I enjoyed doing it. To be honest, I'd do it all over again to see her face light up like it did when she walked through the door that night. Cori's mom wasn't big on decorating and doing traditional family activities, but then again, my family had been lacking in that area for some time now, too. Ever since my parents became big wigs at the office and hospital, their focus shifted to money and power rather than family. While that bothered me in the past, this year I was beyond grateful. Even though I talked to my parents a little over the phone when I arrived home, I still wasn't ready to face them; the fight we had when I left was too fresh in my memory and their absence awarded me the opportunity to become comfortable in the house before they were added into the mix. Then there was the fact that I could spend more time with Mr. Lewis, the primary reason for my return to Bloomington.

The snow, holiday music, decorations, and all of that were nice, but I couldn't fool myself anymore. I jumped at the opportunity to come back into town to see the reason I was sent away. I wanted Mr. Lewis to be doing well and carrying on with his life as if the rumors didn't exist, but I also came back to see if the feelings I had for him were real, or if they were just a silly high school crush. I wanted to see if, maybe, he returned those feelings. I knew it was a long shot, but I had to know. 

That night I dreamt of him and I together in the snow, playing, cuddling....it was a dream that I didn't want to end, but the blaring of my alarm clock had other plans. I didn't want to get up, but the knowledge that I would see Mr. Lewis again the next day had me swinging my legs over the side of the bed with a new type of spunk. 

"What the fuck is Mr. Lewis gonna want with a wind-up flashlight?" Cori asked later that afternoon as we wrapped gifts and stuffed others into stockings. 

We spent most of the day shopping for last minute gifts to give Mr. Lewis and Dustin, but that quickly escalated into us buying new outfits for dinner as well as purchasing a bunch of other items that we had no need for. TJ Maxx has been known to work its magic on me in that way.

"Like Dustin is gonna need a compact mirror," I retorted, holding up the brown case that was to be placed in Dustin's stocking.

"Have you seen his hair? He needs a mirror."

"Maybe his hair is messy from all of the chicks that grab and pull at it now. He has to be gettin' tons of chicks after losing that weight and getting into shape."

"I guess," Cori said, not looking too convinced. "I haven't seen him since first semester anyway, and looks aren't everything. No one loses as much weight as he did in three months. The kid had gastric bypass."

"Whatever, Cori. Who cares if he did or not? He's healthy and in shape now. Just wait until you see him."

I was starting early on my awkwardness diffusion. As soon as Dustin and I became good friends, Cori was on a warpath, Dustin's face being the target. It was juvenile in a way, but with Cori's background, I could see why she would be worried about me liking him better. Any man her mother liked more than her-which was every one of them-earned Cori a seat on the backburner. It was sad, but that's what happened when young kids were trying to raise kids; Cori's mom was fourteen when she had her. 

"Maybe we should save some of this stuff to do for tomorrow. I'm gonna be on pins and needles all day; I'll need something to keep my hands busy."

"Cooking will keep your hands busy, as will folding those expensive ass linens you bought to be used as napkins; let's not forget all of the cutlery and plates and shit that you'll have to lay out in an orderly, country club fashion," she teased, gently knocking my shoulder with her own. 

"Forget you, bitch," I laughed just as there was a knock on the door. Neither Cori nor I were expecting a guest, so I proceeded with caution. The last couple of days went by smoothly; I hadn't seen anyone from my old school, I hadn't heard anyone gossiping while I was shopping; I was starting to believe that the worst was over, that maybe I could have my old life back...that was until I answered the door to find my neighbor, Mrs. Norris, on the other side. Not much had changed about her; she still was impossibly fake with her spray on tan, overly done makeup, and creepy stiletto nails. Her presence at my front door meant either she was looking to start gossiping, or she was searching for something to gossip about.

"Hey, Mrs. Norris. What can I do for you today?"

"Oh, I just wanted to drop off these cookies for you and Cori!" she said in her thick, southern drawl, putting on that would-be smile; her Botox injections made it nearly impossible to pull her lips upward. "I saw you working on the house yesterday; it looks so nice! I thought I'd bring you a welcome home gift," she handed me a plate covered with holiday themed tin foil.

All her words summed up to one thing: she saw Mr. Lewis and wanted to make it known. She had to have known that my departure from town was due to my supposed relationship with him; the supposed relationship whose rumors originated from her daughter's mouth, no doubt. Beth-Ann Norris was one of the most gossipy girls at my old high school-every rumor about anyone in the halls of BHS could be traced back to her, and she reveled in it; she lived for the drama and attention. 

The apple never falls far from the tree. "Well thank you, I appreciate the thought. I'll let my parents know that you stopped by," I said, moving to close the door.

"You'll call them, you mean? I know they went to Barbados for the holidays; they came over and asked if I'd watch the house while they were away. You know thievery is high for this time of year. Can't be too careful."

Anger gurgled inside of me as I sucked my lips in. I let out a steadying breath before addressing her. "They did, did they? Well, yes. I'll call them. Happy holidays," I said before closing the door with a little more force than necessary.

"What did she want? I was trying to listen but I couldn't hear much," Cori said, scooping her hair into a ponytail as she reached the foyer. 

"She wanted to warn me that she saw Mr. Lewis here yesterday and that if she saw him again, she'd tell my parents. They have her watching the house."

Cori gasped. "She said that?"

"Not outright, but if you live around people like her long enough, you start to read between the lines of bullshit they spew."

"Do you think we should tell Mr. Lewis to stay away?"

"No. I'm not going to revoke his invitation just because some nosy ass woman can't mind her own business." 

"If she would stay in her own household, she'd see that her daughter is fucking ninety percent of the football team. Dirty ass bitch."

If I weren't scared out of my mind, I would've laughed at that. My hands shook in the wake of my fear. I couldn't have my parents hearing about Mr. Lewis being in their house, no matter how old I was, or the status of my relationship with Mr. Lewis; but, I had to have more time with him before I went back to California. I was being extremely selfish, and I knew it, but I had to explore my feelings for him in a setting where he was actually present. I needed clarity in this area of my life before I could move on.

*

Smells of honeyed ham, turkey, stuffing, and other homey smells filled the house as Cori and I played homemakers. To be honest, it was fun, apart from the time I spent looking out of the window, trying to catch Mr. Lewis before Mrs. Norris could poke her bleach-blonde head through her curtains and see him. I hated feeling like I was being watched on Christmas; the holiday was supposed to be a relaxed and joyful time, not a day of paranoia and nervousness. 

"You should talk to your parents about getting a fence put up," Cori said, noticing my preoccupation. 

"Why should they have to put up a fence just because of the people next door? That's stupid. Some people just need to mind their own business."

"And some people never will. Look, don't worry about them over there. You put so much work into this day, I don't want it to be ruined because of some nosy ass tramp. Go get dolled up and relax. It'll be fine," she said, pushing me in the direction of my bathroom.

The bath I took didn't help; if anything, sitting in the water made me more anxious. I had too much time to think about what this day meant for me; so much, arguably too much, hung in the balance of this Christmas: my relationship status, my emotional stability if Mr. Lewis didn't return my feelings, my parents' trust if they ever found out that Mr. Lewis was in their house.

I snorted. They obviously didn't trust me too much if they had Old Creepy Nails watching me from next door. 

Secrecy was of the utmost importance for this particular day, and maybe every day that I remained in Bloomington- depending on how this dinner gathering panned out. I knew Cori wouldn't say anything; she was in my corner, but I had yet to explain to Dustin my real feelings for Mr. Lewis. I wasn't sure that I ever would. All he knew was that Mr. Lewis was coming over for dinner and that it was probably best to not mention it to anyone with all of the past issues surrounding us. He consented to secrecy, and that would do for the time being.

I ambled to the living room where I aimlessly flipped through channel after channel on the television, trying to find something to take my mind off of the day and the stress surrounding it. "Why does every fucking channel have to play The Christmas Story?" I tossed the remote onto the cushion beside me, huffing in frustration. 

"Well, it is Christmas," Cori laughed lightly as a knock sounded throughout the house. My head shot up and my eyes met Cori's. "Nervous much?" she grinned while stirring the contents of a pot. 

"It was just unexpected," I told her, rushing to answer the door. The doorbell sounded and I was sure that I was going to throw up. My heart hammered in my chest as I took a breath and smoothed out the skirt of my dress. I opened the door and my heart sank a little. "Hey, Dustin," I said, trying to sound like I wasn't disappointed. 

"Wow, you went all out!" he said, stepping into the foyer. "It's so good to finally see you. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you, too. What's this?" I asked, reaching for the box that he held out toward me.

"I got you something. I got Cori something too, though she probably won't like me any better because of it."

"Oh, come on. Cori likes you. She's just protective of me, you know. She wants to be my only friend," I forced a chuckle while leading him upstairs to the kitchen. 

"Merry Christmas, Cori," Dustin said, sounding as shy as he looked. 

"Damn. What happened to you? Did you stop eating?" Cori asked, her eyes wide with amazement. 

"I stopped eating everything that could kill me," he laughed. "I got you something," he said, holding out a box for her. 

"How thoughtful," she said, shaking it. "Paint brushes," she grinned. 

Dustin frowned. "How'd you do that?"

"Years of practice, but I'll put it under the tree if it makes you feel better," she smiled before leaving the room.

"See," I said when she was out of earshot, "she doesn't hate you."

Dustin shrugged and smiled.

Cori and Dustin kept me busy for hours while we played board games, watched movies, and talked; but I was almost always glancing at the clock, trying to figure out when Mr. Lewis was going to come. 

"He'll be here, Dani. Just relax," Cori told me after Dustin went to the bathroom, taking advantage of his absence.

"I never told him what time to come. What if he thought that was me not really wanting him to come? What if he didn't want to come? Maybe he's afraid my parents will show up," I rambled on like an idiot until Cori finally stopped me.

"Dani, seriously. Calm down. It'll be fine. It's probably better that he doesn't come right away. If he comes during dinner time, old nosy will be so busy eating her croutons and green beans that she won't notice his arrival."




Mr. Lewis



"Croutons and green beans?"

"That's what these rich people eat to be thin, right?"

I laughed so hard my curls shook. I could always count on Cori to make me laugh, even at the tensest times. "Not that I know of; but, in the case of Mrs. Norris that might not be far from the truth."

"God, she's a witch. She probably brews little children in a cauldron to maintain her youth."

"I never down a good Hocus Pocus reference," Dustin said, taking a seat on the couch. "Who're you talking about anywho?"

"Mrs. Norris," my tongue poked out in disgust. 

"Beth-Ann's mom? God, I can't stand that woman. You know Beth-Ann has been trying to get me to take her out for weeks now; a-k-a, have sex with her."

"No!" I said, turning in his direction.

"She's all over me...it's sickening. She shows up to my house randomly, she tries to grab my junk under the table at lunch...I can't shake her," he said, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't want her when I was fat, and I sure as hell don't want her now that I'm skinny," Dustin said right before the doorbell rang. 

My heart thudded in my chest as I shot up into the air. 

"Come on, Dustin. Why don't we go set the table?" Cori said while pulling him off of the couch.

"But it's already set," he protested but still allowed her to drag him in the opposite direction. 

It seemed like I moved to the door at a snail's pace and opened it in slow motion. 

"Merry Christmas," he said to me, a slight smile playing on his lips.

Snow fell in small, fluffy flakes around him as he stood on the doorstep; I took it as a sign. I wanted snow for Christmas, and I got it; I wanted Mr. Lewis, so maybe I'd get him too.

"Merry Christmas," I sighed in contentment. "Come in, come in," I said rushing him through the door, remembering Mrs. Norris and her barely concealed threat. "Have you been outside for long?"

"Not really, why?" his eyebrows puckered in confusion.

"The tip of your nose is pink...so are your ears," I almost reached up to touch them, but I held back. 

"Oh, I may've sat in the car for a bit," he shrugged. "You look nice."

"So do you; but, you always do. You know, as far as teachers go."

His expression changed, of course I couldn't read it, but his stiff nod while he removed his coat let me know that I had screwed up, and royally. I spent the better part of the meal looking for a way to fix the mess I created. 

Why would I say something so stupid? 'As far as teachers go', I chastised myself as I shoveled bits of ham into my mouth. I had sealed my own fate with that stupid sentence add-on. Mr. Lewis would never see me as anything more than a student, and it was my own fault. 

I faked smiles and laughter through the rest of the meal and all the way through the unwrapping of gifts until I opened the gift Mr. Lewis presented me with. 

"You didn't have to get me anything," I muttered. 

"And you didn't have to invite me over or buy me anything, but you did."

I peeled back the paper on the heavy object, not sure what I would find beneath the metallic paper. I gasped. "You got me the ancient civilizations textbook?" I whispered. After I was forced to leave the class, I thought hard about keeping the book so that I could finish the material, but my parents took it, and all of my other textbooks, back to school.

"Open it." 

I did as he asked and found a stack of papers stapled together. My face lit up like the strings of lights on my Christmas tree. "And a final exam?" I was bouncing out of my seat. 

"Nerd," I heard Cori snicker.

I stuck my tongue out at her and turned back to Mr. Lewis, who was still somewhat frowning.

"I remember you telling me that you were going to ace this exam. I still hold you to that, of course. And it's not open book."

"So why do I get the book?"

"To study, of course."

"Thank you." I wanted so badly to hug him, but I knew it wouldn't be appropriate in front of Dustin, and I was sure that Mr. Lewis wouldn't want me to after my earlier bout of stupidity.

For the remainder of the night, I sat in a corner of the living room, immersed in my gift from Mr. Lewis. Even after Dustin went home and Cori went to bed, I sat and read the material while sipping hot chocolate. 

"What's your favorite section so far?" Mr. Lewis asked as he leaned over my shoulder. His proximity caused my heart to leap wildly. 

"The Mayans, of course."

"And here I thought you were an Aztec type of woman," he gave me a half smile that set my heart ablaze. "You ready for your final?"

"I think so. You don't have to stay here and grade it, do you?"

"Of course I do. I have to make sure that you don't cheat and use the book."

I laughed. "Alright. I guess."

"You have an hour and fifty minutes, Miss Matthews. Get to it," he said taking my book from the table without a glance in my direction.

The final only took me an hour, much to my surprise; the thing was nearly two hundred questions. I stowed away to my room to change into my pajamas and sulk while Mr. Lewis graded my test; I managed to get the bottoms on, but the tank top I was going to wear stayed gripped in my hand as I sprawled out onto my bed. 

I punched my pillow. "Stupid!" 

I messed tonight up with my ramble about him looking good....for a teacher. Even thinking the words caused me to shudder. I could've slapped myself from the utter stupidity that fell from my mouth. My word diarrhea was the cause of me having to sit in my room, alone, without any clue as to how Mr. Lewis felt about me. 

I tried to assess his behavior after the comment and couldn't decipher any of his actions. It was frustrating; at some points he would smile, then at other times he would look contemplative and withdrawn. I punched my pillow for a second time. "Stupid, sexy, cryptic...man," I muttered into my pillow. 

Despite all of my internal grievances, my eyes started to droop. It had been a long day with all of the cooking, last minute decorating, and worrying; it all was starting to catch up with me as my eyes grew heavier. I don't know what I was dreaming about, but reality bled into my subconscious when there were a series of knocks on my door. I opened it to find Mr. Lewis on the other side, an expression of shock on his face. 

Confusion was my first feeling before I realized what he was looking at. I still hadn't put on my pajama shirt. I looked down to make sure that I wasn't going to freak out unnecessarily and sure enough, there sat my breasts encased in my black, strapless bra. 

"Shit! I'm sorry, I fell asleep and-," was all I could get out before Mr. Lewis's lips were on mine. I gasped as he led me backward into my room and shut the door with a tap of his foot. 

I fell backward onto my bed, my breasts wiggling from the impact, but my mouth stayed busy battling Mr. Lewis's for control. I imagined kissing Mr. Lewis a number of times, but those daydreams didn't come close to the reality of it. His mouth was warm and soft, his lips moving with urgency as he consumed me. 

"No, no, no," he said, breaking away from me. "This can't happen. Not here, not now."

"What?" I asked, breathless from his unexpected, but welcome, assault. 

"God, Danica. You're barely legal! You were my student. I'm seven years older than you, there are a number of reasons!"

"Shh!" I urged, as I sat up on the bed. "Cori's room isn't that far away."

"I'm gonna go," he said, rising from the bed. "I don't even know what happened."

"So...you didn't want to kiss me?" I asked, trying to prepare my heart for the upset that I knew was coming. 

Cori told me not to get my hopes up, but I did. I thought often of what a relationship with Mr. Lewis would be like. I thought of how we could make it work with all of the backlash we would receive; I thought about going to the local university for school so we could be close, I thought about where we'd move after I earned my degree... I thought about it all too much. I had even started to believe that it would work, and here I was half naked, being dumped before I could even get into that relationship. 

"Of course I did, Dani! I've been wanting to kiss you for two years," he said as he began pacing in front of my bed. My breath hitched in my throat. "Two damn years...ever since the first time I bumped into you in the hallway."

"I remember," I smiled, thinking back to the first time I laid eyes on Mr. Lewis. I thought he was a teacher's assistant rather than a teacher. "You knocked my papers all over the place. I was so mad," I smiled.

"This is wrong," he said, running his fingers through his hair. 

"How? You're not my teacher anymore."

"But I was! And I'm the reason you were sent to live in California, Danica. Do you remember that? And now I'm here, in your parents' house, looking at their eighteen year old daughter in her bra," he shook his head and closed his eyes tightly. 

"I didn't do it on purpose. I dozed off."

"Just the same, I still shouldn't even be here."

"I wanted you to come, Mr. Lewis."

"Please, don't call me that. It just makes everything more weird," he ran both hands through his hair before planting them on his hips. 

"More weird. Ouch." 

"I didn't mean it like that, Danica. It's just...ugh," he grunted in frustration while sitting on my bed.

"Mr. Lewis?"

"Ryan, Dani. My name is Ryan."

"Ryan. Do you...you know? Do you have feelings for me?"

He sighed while grabbing hold of the hair at the nape of his neck. I thought sure he wasn't going to answer, so I rose from the bed to put my shirt on. He grabbed my wrist, looking me square in the eyes. "Yes. I do. I was going to tell you everything tonight and give you your other gift," he tugged a box out of his pocket and waved it around in frustration. "But what does that even matter? We can't be together, Dani. Not when all of this mess is around us. What kind of life could we have when people are constantly pointing fingers at us? And what does all that matter if you don't have feelings for me?"

"Who said I didn't have feelings for you?" I asked, shock making my voice rise.

"I just assumed," he said, having the grace to look embarrassed. "You were so quiet all night, and then Dustin was here."

"You think I like Dustin?" He didn't answer, but I knew that's what he thought. "Ryan," saying his given name made butterflies fly out of my stomach and into my chest, "I don't like Dustin like that." He seemed to relax a little at my words, but not enough. I walked over to him and removed the gold box from his hand. "What'd you get me?" I asked in the calmest voice that I could muster. 

I was anything but calm. The man of my dreams had just declared his feelings for me and brought me another gift, calm was nowhere on my map. Ecstatic, terrified, and pleased were closer to the feelings that poured through me.

"It's just something I thought you'd like," he laced his fingers before hooking them behind his head. The shirt under his cardigan lifted, revealing a happy trail that was beyond distracting.

I lifted the lid to the box and a gold locket and chain sat boldly, staring back at me. I ran my fingers across the delicate chain and down the locket where a cursive letter "D" was etched into the gold. 

"D-for Danica," I whispered. "I love it."

Ryan relaxed a little more. "Yeah, that was the thought. Not 'D' for Dustin," his lower lip poked out slightly as he pouted. 

I chuckled. "Come on. I said I don't like Dustin. Put this on me," I said, handing the box back to him.

He scooped my hair out of the way before placing the chain around my neck. His touch was feather light but still ignited a flame in me that only he could. 

"You should like Dustin. He's a smart kid, not too ugly...he's your age and hasn't been your teacher for two years."

I turned around to face Ryan. "I don't want Dustin. I want you."

After the words came out of my mouth, I felt their conviction. I did want Ryan Lewis, more than anything I had ever wanted in my life. I didn't care if he used to be my teacher, and I didn't care what anyone thought about us, as long as I had him.

"You want me?" 

I couldn't decipher what his eyes were saying, so I answered truthfully. "Yes."

His response was to take my lips between his again. His hands cradled my face as his tongue took turns laving at my lips and tongue. I was almost dizzy as my fingers laced into his hair. I had never been kissed like that in my entire eighteen years, and I relished it, basked in the ambient glow that was filling every place in my body. 

I watched, open mouthed, as Ryan removed his shirt; seeing him in the act was like watching a Levi's commercial where all of the attractive guys stripped off their shirts before standing around in their jeans and boots-except Ryan Lewis was sexier than all of those men put together. 

Pulling me in for another kiss, he grabbed my waist and pinned me against him so I could feel the growing of member in his pants. He was so hard it almost hurt when his girth collided against my belly. My hands groped and massaged his neck as I was drug deeper into the kiss; so deep that I almost didn't realize he had removed my bra. My hands shot up to my chest in the attempt to cover my nakedness. 

"Hey, hey. No. Don't do that. I want to see you," he said, sliding my hands from my chest and replacing one with his mouth. 

I gasped as his tongue swirled around my nipple, making my lower belly clench and heat. Too soon, he released me. 

"Bed," he instructed, pointing to where he wanted me to lay. 

I did as he asked and he moseyed to the edge of the mattress, looking down at my body. His gaze was heated and erotic, and it made my entire body ache. With leisure, he removed my pants and smirked when he saw that I wasn't wearing any panties. 

The way he climbed on the bed and up my body could've been likened to a jungle cat; I was his prey as he devoured my lips...my neck...my breasts. The moans that escaped my lips were borderline embarrassing, but I couldn't stop them. The way he touched me felt so good; too good. Ryan kissed his way down my body, I giggled as his mouth reached the bottom of my belly. 

"Ticklish, huh?" he kissed the same spot again and I slapped his shoulders. 

"Quit," I chuckled.

"Fine," he said as he hovered directly over the apex of my thighs. His breath barely had time to tickle me before his mouth found my clit. I nearly screamed in pleasure. "Dani, you're gonna have to be more quiet," Ryan whispered into my folds, making me whimper. 

I never knew that oral stimulation could be so pleasurable. I heard the girls in California talking about it from time to time, but from what they said, it was overly-wet and sloppy. Ryan's ministrations were anything but that; he used smooth, calculated motions that set my body on fire. A delicious building started in the pit of my stomach and spread throughout my body. My legs shook as the pressure rose higher and higher; I had no idea what was coming, but I knew I wanted it. The next flick of his tongue sent me over the edge and I was soon crying out every curse word I could think of mixed with a garbled version of his name. Ryan reached up to cover my mouth and I was grateful; the racket I was making was bound to wake Cori up, if she wasn't already awake.

Ryan rose from the bed and removed his pants, revealing his manhood. 

Teachers aren't supposed to be well-endowed, are they? 

Ryan Lewis sure as hell was; so much so that it was scary. I tried to hide my fear by closing my eyes; I guess it worked because I soon felt him at my entrance. 

The pain as he pushed into me was indescribable; I squeezed my lips together to stifle the scream that wanted to free itself from my mouth. Ryan became rigid over me, and my eyes snapped open. His entire frame was strained, his face a mask of horror and shock tinged with anger. 

"Is there something you'd like to tell me, Danica?" he ground out, nearly breathless as he looked down at me. 

I decided to play dumb. "What do you mean?"

"Don't fuck with me, Dani. You were a virgin half a minute ago. Why didn't you tell me?" Ryan was beyond mad, I could see it in the way his eyes went from being a cloudy Sunday morning to slate. I could hear it in his voice and feel it in his body. The fact that he actually cursed was a dead giveaway, too. Ryan never cursed.

"Why would I need to tell you?" I whispered. 

He let out a sound of exasperation. "Well, let's see. Maybe because I could've hurt you more than I already have. God," he shook his head before blinking wildly. "I could've went slower...eased you into it more. Do you even know what I could've done to you? Pure recklessness, Dani."

"Are you gonna continue to scold me like an errant child, or are you going to fuck me?" He continued to look down at me, his face betraying his shock at my words. "I was a virgin, so what? Now I'm not. We can't take it back," I said, wrapping my arms and legs around him. 

His expression was still one of shock, his eyebrows raised, and his mouth slightly open. It took him a few seconds to respond. "No, Danica. I'm not going to fuck you. If I were to fuck you, as you so eloquently put it, you wouldn't be able to sit for days."

My pussy clenched at his words and Ryan buried his face in my neck, groaning with pleasure. 

"I'm going to try to make love to you, Dani; but I'm not sure that I can be as delicate as I need to be," he warned in a strained voice as he began to slide in and out of me. The pain from his strokes had me gripping the hair at the nape of his neck. I held on so tight that my fingers were nearly numb. "I'm hurting you," he said as he pulled himself out of me.

"No, no," I said, trying to hide my wince as he exited my body.

"Danica," Ryan groaned, shaking his head. "You all but gave me a bald patch," he said while scooting further down my body. He bent my legs at the knee and pushed them outward before taking a swipe at my folds with his tongue. "Sit up," he whispered, "I want you to look at me when I pleasure you."

Heat flooded my body at Ryan's words; it was as if I was burning from the inside out. I did as he asked and our eyes met, my chocolate to his rainy day. Ryan took another leisurely swipe at my folds, his eyes not leaving mine. The pressure, that I now knew to be an orgasm, built within me again as he continued to lap at my sex. 

"Why were you so tight, Danica?"

All I could do was whimper in response. 

He chuckled. "Have you never pleasured yourself, baby?"

I shook my head.

"Eyes on me, Dani."

Ryan Lewis sounded like the devil himself. I opened my eyes and he rewarded me with his sexy half smile as he eased a finger into me. I gasped, but didn't dare close my eyes. 

"So tight," Ryan murmured before kissing my clit. "But not wet enough yet."

"Please," I begged, as he blew on my sex. 

"Please what, Dani? Please what?"

I pushed my mound into his face as my response. 

"Tell me what you want."

"I want more, please."

Ryan closed his eyes and groaned before inserting another finger into my warmth. "God, Danica. I'm gonna explode and I'm barely doing anything to you," he told me before latching onto my clit and sucking. 

I cried out and Ryan put his hand over my mouth again. He worked on my clit in earnest while his fingers moved in and out of me; the results were explosive as I came. Ryan hopped off me in a flash, replaced his hand over my mouth, and buried himself in me, balls deep. My eyes widened as I let out a scream that was bound to leave my throat sore. 

"I'm sorry, Dani. It would've hurt more the other way. I'm sorry," Ryan said as he released my mouth. He planted small pecks on my lips and cheeks, probably in an attempt to calm me down. 

I wrapped my arms around his back. "Okay. Okay," I said, letting a deep breath exit my mouth. "I think I'm ready."




Mr. Lewis



He kissed me one more time before pulling out of me and pushing back in. Thankfully, it wasn't as painful as the first time, though the movement was still biting. As he continued to stroke in and out of me, the pain ebbed steadily and my moans began to mingle with Ryan's, filling the room with a symphony of our combined pleasure. My hands left his back and became tangled in the sheets as I used them as an outlet for all of the pleasure that I couldn't handle. Ryan's strokes became long and hard, rocking my body into the mattress; I could tell he was straining to control himself. 

"Ryan. Don't hold back. Please," I whispered, and he stopped moving.

"Say it again," he said, his eyes soft as he looked down at me.

"Don't hold back?"

"My name. Say my name, Danica."

I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through his hair. "Ryan." 

He groaned. "That sounds so good. Don't ever call me Mr. Lewis again," he said hoisting my legs over his shoulders, and my arms above my head, pinning them beneath his own before lacing our fingers together. He was possessing me, and I wanted him to; I closed my eyes in preparation for the onslaught. He wasted no time working his way into the depths of my body, taking me higher with each stroke of his hips. He was hard and barely tame as he impaled me, but I wanted this; for him and for me. 

Ryan groaned and let go of my hands, placing his on either side of my head. "Touch me," he instructed in a labored breath. I did as he commanded, running my hands from his biceps down to the small of his back; every inch of him was pure muscle. "God, Dani. Again."

I did as he asked and was rewarded with a heady, gasp-moan combination that made me feel like the human torch. My hands were set for a third round when he lifted my leg from his shoulder and shifted his body into a slightly different position. That tiny shift made all the difference in the world. Pleasure radiated from my entire body as he rapidly stroked his shaft in and out of me. 

"Oh...God," I moaned as he continued pushing and pulling my body.

"That's right, Dani. Feel it for me." Ryan Lewis had never sounded so sexy...so carnal. It made me want more of him, to hear him moan in pleasure; to say my name again like I said his. I grabbed his hair at the nape and began to meet him thrust for thrust. "Dani," the way he said my name sounded as if he were singing, "Dani, stop. You're going to make me come."

He began to piston in and out of me, making it impossible to keep up with his thrusts; I held on for dear life, waiting for the explosion that was sure to come. I felt the pressure building in me as he rocked my body back and forth on the bed. My whimpers and the sound of flesh colliding were the only sounds in the room, and it furthered the building of pressure within me. I grabbed onto his hair even tighter and somehow he found the strength to plow into me even faster and harder. 

"Ryan, I-," I wanted to explain that I wasn't going to last much longer. I wanted him to know how good he felt, how much I wanted him...how much I needed him, but words failed me. I believe he knew what I was trying to say, because he put me out of my misery with a few strokes from his fingers to my clit. My body bent and bowed off of the bed as my core clenched around Ryan's girth. I covered my mouth with my own hands this time, shouting my release into my palm. Ryan soon followed, burying the cries of his orgasm into my neck as I held him.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there, holding him and waiting for our breathing to calm, but I never wanted to let go. The effect Ryan Lewis had on me was irreversible, and there was no way for me to live without him now; he had taken my virginity, and with it, my heart. There was much that we had yet to discuss: me going back to California after the New Year and what that meant for our relationship; there was Cori and how much she should know about this, then there were my parents. I wasn't sure how I would be able to tell them about Ryan and me, and I was sure that they wouldn't understand. All they would see was teacher and student, not Ryan and Danica. 

Determination was the answer. That's what it would take to make this work, and I was full of it; Ryan had to be too, he did wait for two years to kiss me. I looked up at the man that stole my heart, and I knew that there was no one else. There never would be. I ran my hands up and down his back as he pressed his forehead to mine. "Danica, we should talk," he said, sliding out of me. I winced.

"Can it wait? I just want to be with you right now. Just pretend that everything is normal and that we're normal...and that everything will be easy breezy."

He sighed and began to stroke my hair. "When will your parents be back?"

"After New Year's."

"Then yes...it can wait."