24 comments/  29554 views/  41 favorites

Joseph Ch. 01

By: kalamazoo707



Note: First of all thanks to all of you for reading and commenting on my stories. You are appreciated. Secondly, regarding Barb Yancy- she is cooling her heels in Hawaii but is not gone. There is no chapter 13 of Thorne, but I promise that you will see her again. Thank you to my beta readers Jean and donalde and to Teacher2272 for editing Joseph Chapter 1. Oh and by the way- this chapter has no sex in it. 

*

Joseph sat open mouthed, in shock, as his father told him what he had done to his and Nathan's mother. Of course, he had heard the stories about the rapes - who hadn't? But he didn't realize that his parents were a real part of it. In retrospect, he realized that he should have known better. If his uncles had raped, the chances were that his father had too. He looked at his mother who was holding tightly onto his father's hand so tightly that her knuckles were white, the hand of the man who had raped her and gotten her pregnant. He didn't understand any of it. He didn't understand how his mother could stand to be in the same room with his father nor did he understand how Nathan wasn't still angry or how he had gotten over it.

What made it worse was that he adored his father and was close to him in a way that Nathan had never been. Now he knew and understood why there was a distance between his father and brother. The distance was narrowing, but it was still there and in all likelihood always would be. He wiped the tears from his face still unable to speak. Why had he asked the question? Why couldn't they have lied to him? How could he not have known? Later, he would realize that it was because he did know, he just hadn't accepted it. But yet, he had asked the question anyway.

"Joseph?" Martin called. "I know that this is hard to understand, but ..."

"But what?" Joseph challenged finding his voice. "You're one of those rapists! Did you rape her and get her pregnant with me, too?"

A look of pain and sadness crossed Martin's face at the accusation.

"Well did you?" Joseph demanded.

"Joey..."

"Don't call me that!" he yelled at Martin. "And answer the damned question! Did you rape her again?"

"Joey-Joseph," Rachel said softly. "You were conceived in love..."

"How could you?" Joseph interrupted staring at Rachel with blue eyes filled with pain, anger and confusion. "How could you let him touch you again? What's wrong with you? Are you crazy? You aren't supposed to marry the man that hurt you!"

At this, Martin got angry.

"Stop right there," he warned, his baritone sounding more like a bass. "You're angry, and understandably so, but you don't get to talk to your mother like that. She was and is my victim. Do you understand me? She is, and was, my victim, so if you want to make accusations, you direct them and your anger at me. But don't you dare make what happened her fault or question her part in it! And don't you dare diminish the fact that she found it in her heart to forgive me and that she loves you and Nathan. Your issue is with me and the males of this family and not her. Got it?"

Joseph's face burned. His father was right, but he didn't get it.

"Mom-I'm sorry- I just don't understand," he said softly as he took her free hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I know, sweetie," Rachel said, squeezing his hand back. "I also know that you're wondering why we didn't lie to you. Nathan asked the same question. There was no way that we could have kept it from you. You have the right to know."

Joseph nodded still only partially understanding.

"The legacy of rape continued for as long as it did because no one spoke up," Martin said. "I knew that it was wrong as soon as I raped your mother, but I did nothing about it. Instead I ran away, changed my last name and avoided my family."

"So, you were a coward, in addition to being a rapist," Joseph spat out as he glared at his father.

"Yes," Martin said ignoring Joseph's tone. "I told myself that leaving and changing my last name was for the good of Nathan and your mother. But that wasn't entirely true. I was hiding because as you said, I was a coward. I told myself that the others would be fine and that they were stronger than I was. I kept telling myself that one of them would speak up. By keeping silent, I allowed the rapes to continue. Had I said something, your uncle Ethan might not have raped your aunt Katrina. Your uncle Patrick might have raped and your uncle Jesse and his mate could still be with us. I say might because there was no guarantee that they still wouldn't have raped, but I'll never know if I could have prevented it. All of those things fall on my shoulders. Even if I had said something, I would still have had to tell you what I was and am; but so many others would have been spared."

"What did Nathan say?" Joseph asked.

"He was as angry as you are," Martin replied. "It took weeks before he spoke to me and even longer before he trusted me to be alone with your mother. For weeks after we told him, he slept on the floor outside of our room."

"Joseph, listen to me," Rachel said. "You're angry and that's alright and understandable but I need you to know something - I love you, Nathan and your father. I'm here because of that love. I won't tell you that it wasn't hard or that I don't have moments when I get angry about what happened. But there's one thing that I don't regret and that's Nathan. The other thing is that I've forgiven your father and that I'm glad that we have you."

"Didn't want to get rid of him?" Joseph asked. "Didn't you hate him?"

"When I realized that I was pregnant, a lot of things went through my mind. Abortion wasn't one of them. I thought about adoption but as the pregnancy progressed it seemed less and less of an option. By the time Nathan was born, I couldn't give him away any more than I could have given you or the baby that I'm carrying away. Just as I never hated you; I never hated Nathan. He was an innocent and had nothing to do with any of this. He is as innocent as I was."

Joseph didn't respond. He knew that his mother loved all of them, but knowing that didn't make things any easier. At the end of the revelation, Joseph sat mute unsure of what to say or do. It was Martin who suggested that he talk to Nathan and whoever else he wanted to.

"Do the twins know yet?" Joseph asked, feeling sorry for his cousins.

"No, not yet," Martin replied. "Ethan and Katrina will wait until they ask as we did with you."

Joseph stood up, walked over to his mother and kissed her forehead. He didn't spare his father a glance as he went to his room and locked the door behind him. He sat at his desk and looked at the request for a name change form. He was still using the last name of Richardson and was going to surprise his parents by having it changed to Sinclaire. He picked up the form and tore it into tiny pieces and made a conscious decision. He wouldn't bring a woman or child into his fucked up family. He wouldn't acknowledge the last name of Sinclaire although he loved his family. What he didn't realize was that, he was running as his father had done, even though he was doing it for a different reason. He never made that call to Nathan nor did he talk to any of his uncles - he didn't want to hear it or understand it. The only thing he needed to know or understand was that his family was monsters. It didn't matter that the rapes were occurring long before his father and uncles were born or that they didn't know any different. What mattered was that all of them were cowards who had finally stepped up to the plate.

Years later

Joseph sat in the back of the row watching his family. His twin cousins Vanessa and Veronica were getting married. The back yard was decorated in the twin's favorite colors of purple and lavender. Victoria, their baby sister was the maid of honor, a fact that thrilled her to no end. He felt sorry for her. In a few more years she would make the same mistake he had and ask about how her parents met. As he looked around, he was amazed at how normal his family seemed. They loved, laughed and cried like other families did - but they were monsters. That opinion conflicted with how he felt about them - he loved them and would die for them, but he didn't like them and didn't want to be around them any more than necessary.

He looked in front of him where Nathan sat with his new mate, Louise. His first impression of her had been that she was shy - almost unsure of herself but when he heard what she had gone through and her part in rescuing Veronica; his first impressions of her changed. She was much stronger than given credit for. He like others had mistaken her quiet demeanor as weakness when she was far from it. She was also someone with whom he would have to watch himself around. As if she knew he was thinking about her, Louise turned and looked at him. Not knowing what else to do since he had been caught, he nodded and smiled at her. She shyly smiled back and turned toward Nathan when he said something to her. She was, he could tell still uncomfortable with the newness of her situation, but knew that Nathan would take his time with her.

Several times over the years, he had thought about talking to Nathan, but he never did. He always found something else to do, and then there was college, and finally law school. He now had his own firm which was doing very well and took up most of his time. He knew that it was just another excuse and didn't really care. He could make the time if he chose to. He simply chose not to. His gaze wandered to Patrick who was sitting with his new mate, Kevyn, who was a sister to Louise. He didn't understand her, any more than he had understood his mother being with his father. Why would a woman choose to be with a man that had raped in the past? "But there was no real choice," he muttered. He had heard about her too. How she was able to speak telepathically with Vampires other than her mate. It was more than that, she could read their thoughts. He found it odd that two powerful women from the same family had married into theirs. 

He listened as the band set up and then tuned their instruments for the dancing that would happen during and after the reception. The scent of cooking food filled the air, and the voices of the wait staff mixed in with the music. To his left sat Mason Donahue, his wife Toni who looked like she was due any second and their son Jamie. Several times over the past years his mother Rachel had suggested that he talk to Mason, and if not him Eustace Matthews. He knew that she was becoming more worried about him because she was mentioning it more often. The last conversation about it had been two days before the twin's wedding. He had gone over for his weekly dinner and Martin wasn't home yet.

*

"Where's dad?" he asked as he sat his brief case down by the kitchen door.

"He's going to be about an hour late - is that ok?" Rachel asked.

"That's fine," Joseph replied brushing his blonde hair back from his eyes. He was a Sinclaire through and through from the blond hair, blue eyes and aquiline nose. He had the height and the broad shoulders that were characteristic of the Sinclaire men. Unlike the other males he wore his hair considerably shorter. It barely touched his collar. He thought that wearing a pony tail to court looked unprofessional, but he didn't want a short haircut either.

"Good," Rachel said as she poured him something to drink. "It gives us a chance to talk."

"Mom..."

"You need to talk to someone," Rachel said gently. "You're moody and it's getting worse. I'm just afraid..."

"That I'm going to go out and rape someone?" he said more sharply than he had intended. "Isn't that what they say happened?"

"That isn't what I was going to say," Rachel said softly. "I'm afraid that this is slowly eating you alive. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be angry, but Joey you haven't talked to anyone about what happened since we told you about it. You don't date and you're not looking for your mate. What are you going to do if you find her?"

"I sure as hell won't hurt her!" Joseph exclaimed. "If I should find her, I'll go in the other direction as fast as I can and I won't look back. You know what? I'm not hungry. I'll see you at the wedding."

He left Rachel in the kitchen with tears in her eyes. He was in his car and was about to turn the ignition on when he got out and went back into the house. Rachel was sitting at the table crying. He felt like an ass. She hadn't deserved what he had just dished out to her.

"Mom- I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologize," Rachel said sadly, "do something about it and stop saying that you're fine when it's obvious that you aren't. Talk to Eustace Matthews or Mason Donahue! If not one of them; find someone please! Holding in all of this anger isn't good for you. It's going to destroy you."

He left her with a hug and a promise that he would talk to someone. He just didn't say when.

He looked at Mason and then looked away not wanting to be caught staring. Eustace and his mate, Gretchen, sat next to Mason and Toni. He decided if he had to choose between them, he would go with Eustace. For one thing, Mason would be tied up with the new baby, and he genuinely liked Eustace and his no bullshit manner. It occurred to him that he could talk to Nathan, but he was so wrapped up in his new life as a mate that he didn't want to bother him. It occurred to him that he hadn't made any efforts to talk to him before he found Louise. The new mate thing was just another handy excuse not to talk to his brother.

He heard Ethan's voice behind him and turned to see what was going on. Ethan was making last minute adjustments to the lighting and then checking on the band and the food. Katrina was with the girls doing the mother-daughter thing. He had always liked Katrina and was almost as angry at Ethan as he was at his father when he found out that she had been raped. He was amazed at the changes that Katrina and his mother brought to their world since the sins of the Sinclaire family became public knowledge and there were more changes to come. As in the human world, change in the vampire world was slow, if not slower.

To the corner, opposite of where he was sitting, sat Barbara Yancy Simpson. She was every bit as beautiful as her sisters, but in a more of a cold calculating way. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see what she was about. It was also clear that she was less than happy for her sisters. He didn't know what her problem was, and he didn't care, as long as she didn't try to get her hooks into him. 

Fifteen minutes later, the wedding started. The twins were gorgeous in their white dresses and Victoria looked like a little angel in her lilac dress that was a miniature version of her sister's dresses. She had been quite the trooper during Veronica's kidnapping, but he wondered how she really was doing. But knowing Ethan and Katrina as he did, he was sure that she was seeing someone.

The wedding was simple, but beautiful and straight to the point. After the wedding, Joseph found an unoccupied table and was soon joined by Barb. His intuition about her had been right. He shared a table with her, danced with her once and decided that it was time to leave. He had put in his appearance and he had briefs to read for court on Monday. It wasn't a good excuse, but it would have to do. He made it as far as the gate when Nathan caught up with him.

"Leaving already?"

"Yes," Joseph replied. "I have a lot of reading to do for court on Monday."

"It's been a while since we've spent any time together," Nathan said. "A lot has been happening."

"Not to mention that you found your mate; congratulations-she's beautiful."

"Thanks, why don't you come for dinner tomorrow night?" Nathan asked. "You can get to know her a little better, and she's a hell of a cook."

"I-sure, what time?"

"How about six and bring your appetite," Nathan replied.

A few minutes later, Joseph was almost to his car and was stopped by Mason.

"How are things?" he asked.

"Fine, it looks like you're going to have a baby soon," Joseph replied looking back toward the party.

"We wish," Mason said. "She isn't as far along as she looks."

"Did my mother tell you to talk to me?" Joseph asked deciding that he wasn't in the mood for small talk.

"Your parents are worried about you..."

"I said I'm fine!" Joseph snapped. 

"Are you?" Mason asked ignoring Joseph's tone. "You come to family gatherings and are the first to leave. You barely interact with the males of your family..."

"What is this?" Joseph demanded. "An impromptu therapy session? I will say this once more - I'm fine and I don't need to talk to anyone! Got that?"

"I hear you alright," Mason said. "I only want to let you know that either Eustace or I are available if you should feel the need to talk. Enjoy the rest of your night."

Mason walked away without looking back. Joseph Richardson needed help and badly. He wasn't worried that he would rape anyone; Joseph was turning his anger inward and would harm himself before he harmed anyone else. He found Joseph interesting in that he was exhibiting all of the rage that Nathan should have but hadn't shown. Nathan claimed his last name and was active in the organizations that had been set up to help people with anger management and other issues. It was almost as if Joseph was a child of rape, instead of Nathan.

For Rachel to call on Joseph's behalf meant that she was very worried and from what he saw it was justified. He went back to where Toni and Jamie were sitting, kissed Toni and put an arm around Jamie; but his mind was on Joseph Richardson. He also couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if Maryanne Sinclaire had stepped forward on behalf of her sons as Rachel had done for Joseph.

*****

Joseph drove home in a funk. Why couldn't people just leave him be? As long as he wasn't hurting anyone what was the problem? He thought about the last time he had spoken to his mother and felt guilty. She probably called Mason after that. What surprised him was that he hadn't gotten a call from his father. That meant that she hadn't told him or if she did she convinced him not to say anything. More than likely it was the latter. His father was as in tune with her feelings as he was his own and would have made her tell him. His blow up at Mason hadn't helped things and he prepared himself for a phone call in the near future.

"Shit," he cursed as he sped to his downtown LA condo. As he pulled into the two car garage, he decided that he wasn't going to go to Nathan's house. If Louise was as strong of an empath as he had heard, he didn't want her reading him. He would call when he got into the house and leave a message. Nathan would probably call him back but he wouldn't answer. 

He walked into the condo, tossed the keys in a bowl on the kitchen counter and went to his room to change into his favorite comfy clothes when he was going to work at home - a tee shirt and a pair of boxers. After he changed, he called Nathan's house, left the message and settled in to work. Before long he was deep into reading the briefs and taking notes.

****

Lainie Nguyen hated weekends as much as she loved them. She baby sat every weekend to supplement her part time job at the college bookstore. It wasn't that she didn't like kids - she loved them - but she never had a weekend off. The good thing was that it was always the same three kids and that their mothers - all single had good paying jobs and were reliable with paying her. She knew for a fact that if she had a roommate that she wouldn't need to babysit, but she had been there and done that and wouldn't do it again.

Her first, and only, roommate had moved to L.A in search of a modeling career. She had a job and always made sure that the rent was paid, but the girl was a slob. She upset Lainie's neat and quiet little world to the point where Lainie could hardly stand to be home at the same time she was. She hated coming home just as much. Dirty dishes would be in the sink, uneaten food would be left out and strange people would be in the house watching her television or listening to her CDs.


Joseph Ch. 01



One of her rules was that there were to be no overnight male guests.

"Go to a hotel or to his place, but not here," Lainie told the girl, Amber Monroe.

"No problem!" Amber told her. "Thank you so much!"

Lainie had come home one night after spending the afternoon and evening in the library. She was beat and hungry. She walked into the two bedroom apartment, dropped her book bag and took in the appearance of the kitchen with a heavy sigh. Amber was home. She started cleaning up the mess- she couldn't eat in a dirty kitchen. She was at the sink when she heard someone behind her. Thinking it was Amber, she turned around to deliver the 'clean up your mess' speech. It wasn't Amber, but a man wearing nothing but the skin he was born with. Lainie screamed, the man covered his privates with his hands and backed away.

"Whoa! Hey, it's ok - I'm a friend of Amber's," he said. "She said that you wouldn't be home until later tonight."

Lainie was livid and did something she rarely did. She raised her voice and she cursed.

"Get the hell out of my kitchen! Amber! Get your ass out here now! And you," she said to the man, "get dressed and get the fuck out of my apartment!"

"La...."

"Get out," Lainie said when Amber tried to talk. "We agreed that there were to be no overnight guest..."

"He wasn't going to stay," Amber said, "and besides, you said that you wouldn't be home until ten and it's only eight-thirty."

Lainie stared at her in disbelief. Amber was blaming her that she had gotten caught?

"Amber, I'm asking you to leave tonight. While you pack, I'll write you a check for the two weeks that are left in this month."

"Lainie - come on, can't we talk about this?" Amber begged.

She actually thought about it, and then looked at the dirty kitchen.

"It isn't just the guy," Lainie said. "It's this," she said pointing at the dirty dishes and uneaten food. "We talked about this so many times that I feel like a broken record. I'm sorry, but you have to go."

"Come on baby," the guy whose name she had never found out said. "You can stay with me."

Amber started to argue, but the guy took her hand and led her back to the bedroom. While Amber was packing, Lainie wrote out the check and subtracted the amount from the balance. She had enough to cover, but it made things tight. When Amber came out with her bags, Lainie tried to hand her the check. Amber looked at her and walked out without taking it. Lainie held on to the check for two weeks thinking that Amber would cool off and come for her money. When it didn't happen, she voided the check and shredded it in the shredder that she kept in her room.

That had been three months ago and although she had to babysit every weekend to make ends meet; she was happier. She glanced at the clock to see how much time she had before the first child showed up. She had just enough time to get into the shower and try to make sense of the thick curly hair that she hated because it always looked like it was a mess.

"Thanks, mom," she grumbled as the wished that her hair was more like her father's. Her mother, Ellen, was black and her father, Trong, Vietnamese. They met as college students at Columbia University in nineteen eighty-four, got married in nineteen eighty-six, much to the displeasure of both families, and had her in September of nineteen eighty-eight. The difference between the families was that her mother's family got used to the idea and once she was born, doted on her and eventually accepted her father. Her father's parents accepted her to some slight degree, but the warmth wasn't there. The relatives that were in her age group had no problems with her and she was actually close to a few of them.

She stepped into the shower still debating about what to do with her hair. It wouldn't be long before she would be starting law school - provided she was accepted and her hair was going to be a problem. She thought about getting it cut in a pixie style cut but always chickened out. She had the face for it- small and fine boned like her mother's in fact all of her was small. 

"Thanks mom and dad," she would mutter whenever she had to shop for clothes. Her father was as small as her mother was, and both of them barely topped five' five. She was the tallest of them at a whopping 5'6 - something that she teased them about.

She finished her shower, quickly oiled her caramel colored skin with baby oil and got dressed. She groaned as she ran a comb through her thick curly hair and then tried to pull it back into a pony tail. By the time she was done, she had decided that she was going to get that haircut. A friend of hers was in Beauty College and was always looking for someone to practice on. The trick was going to be finding a time when they both were free.

At two-thirty, Brenda was there with three year old Aaron, who was as cute as could be, but a handful. Lainie wondered if the boy suffered from attention deficit disorder, because he couldn't sit still for more than a minute or two before he was off and running.

"Here he is," Brenda said handing Lainie a book bag filled with toys, snacks a change of clothes and Pajamas. "If all goes well, I'll be here by eleven-thirty to pick him up."

"No problem," Lainie said. "Have a good shift."

Brenda kissed Aaron, told him to be good and rushed off. At one point, Lainie had thought about being a nurse or a doctor, but soon figured out that she enjoyed research and debate much more, and decided to go into law.

By three, the other two children had arrived with one of those - Dennis having to stay overnight. Amber's eviction had turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Lainie turned the room into a play room complete with a small television and DVD player that she bought from the good will store. In the closet, there were mats that the kids could sleep on, as well as toys and games. The room did another thing; it kept the other part of the apartment in order. She could live with one room being messy especially since it was temporary. By Sunday night, it would be back in order.

After giving them snacks, changing the two-year olds pants and taking the other two to the bathroom, Lainie popped a movie into the DVD player and tried to study while the kids watched a movie. She had just gotten started when her cell phone rang - it was her mother.

"Hi mom."

"Hi honey, I was just wondering if you were going to make it to your dad's award ceremony."

"I wouldn't miss it," Lainie replied remembering that she had to tell the mothers of the kids that they would have to make other arrangements for a few days.

"Good, we can't wait to see you! We miss you."

"I miss you too," Lainie said softly. They had a wonderful relationship but it hadn't always been that way. "Are Grandma and Grandpa Nguyen coming?"

"They say they are, but neither of them is in the best of health. They'd love to see you too."

Lainie disagreed but didn't say so. Her Vietnamese grandparents had learned to tolerate their son's wife and the two families didn't interact socially except for events such as the awards ceremony. Lainie didn't understand it. Her parents were both tenured English and Literature professors at Cambridge and still her Vietnamese grandparents held to their prejudices.

"Let us know when you want to come so that we can purchase the tickets and don't tell me that we don't have to; we want to."

"Thanks mom, I'll call you next week. Is dad home?"

"He's here and waiting to talk to you," her mother replied. "I love you; I'll talk to you soon."

"Love you, too," Lainie replied her throat tight.

"How is my lawyer daughter?" her father asked in his softly accented voice. Lainie tried to remember if she had ever heard him raise it and she couldn't. Not even when...

"I'm fine papa and very proud. Professor of the year! That's great and well deserved."

"It is only special because you will be here," he replied. "Have you heard from UCLA?"

"Not yet, but it's early. But I really think that I'll get in."

"Of course you will," Trong replied. "You are as brilliant and as beautiful as your mother."

Lainie laughed. Her father in his quiet way always made her feel good not matter what she had done. And the love that he had for her mother was amazing.

"I'm babysitting so I have to go, but papa-anh yeu em- I love you."

"Anh yeu em - I love you Lainie," he said and hung up.

Lainie put in another DVD and tried to study. Thoughts of her parents kept interfering. They had married in spite of what their families thought, graduated from Columbia with honors and had her long before they had planned to have children. Even so they still managed to get their masters degrees and were now both PhDs and doctorates in their fields. And not once was she neglected. If she closed her eyes she could still hear her father singing to her in Vietnamese as he rocked her to sleep with her mother humming softly along with him. They never missed a program, a game or anything that she was involved in so how could she have done what she did? She quickly wiped away her tears when Denny was saying "potty".

After they were all pottied, Lainie sat on the floor with them and read stories. Brenda was on time in picking Aaron up much to Lainie's relief. Now that he was gone the other two would begin to settle down. Alicia's mother Lynn was next.

"I just changed her so she should be good to go," she said as she handed a sleepy two year old to her mother.

That left Dennis who was the quietest of the three who was already asleep. There were times that Lainie wondered if he wasn't too quiet but she never saw any signs that he was abused or neglected in any way. She took another peek at him, rushed to her room and changed into her pajamas. She grabbed her pillow and blanket, dropped them on the sofa and went back to the bedroom where Dennis was still sleeping. She picked up her books and cell phone and went the couch leaving the bedroom door open in case Dennis needed her.

This was her normal practice whenever Dennis or any of the children spent the night. She was too afraid that she wouldn't hear them from her bedroom even with both doors open. She got as comfortable as she could and began to study. She didn't get very far before she was asleep.

****

Just as Joseph had anticipated, he got a call from Nathan.

"What's up? Why aren't you coming over?"

"I'm still reading these briefs for Monday and..."

"Liar," Nathan interrupted. "You read even faster than I do and you probably finished those briefs last night, so tell me the real reason why you're not coming over."

"I don't want to intrude..."

"Again, you're lying," Nathan said. "Look, I've been meaning to talk to you for some time, but things kept popping up."

Joseph silently groaned. He knew exactly what Nathan wanted to talk about and he wanted no part of it.

"We've both been busy," Joseph said.

"But you're not busy now are you?" Nathan pressed. "Louise is making dinner and I would really like for you to get to know her. She won't read you if that's what you're worried about."

"It isn't that..."

"Then come on over," Nathan said. "Is six still good?"

"Yeah, sure," Joseph replied.

"Good, we'll see you then."

Joseph hung up and resigned himself to hearing about how he needed help in dealing with his anger. He didn't want to hear it, but he had no real choice. The issue was going to be not blowing up as he had at his mother and Mason.

He turned on his television and went to his list of shows that he had recorded for the past week. Most of them were comedies, although he very rarely laughed at any of them. There were also a few documentaries, and a couple of movies that he thought looked interesting on the list. He had just hit the play button to start a movie when his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and saw his parent's number.

"Shit," he grumbled as he answered the phone. "Hey Dad."

After returning the greeting, Martin said what was on his mind.

"I know about the conversation that you had with your mother..."

"Dad..."

"Be quiet and listen!" Martin snapped. "The only reason that I didn't show up at your home that night was because your mother begged me not to. I didn't call you before the wedding because your mother asked me not to. The way that you spoke to her was unconscionable! She spoke to you as she does because she loves you as do I and you do need help. Do you remember telling me that my anger was no excuse for what I did?"

"I remember," Joseph said quietly.

"Well it's no excuse for you either! You also called me a coward - do you recall doing that?"

"Yes," Joseph replied not liking where the conversation was heading.

"I admitted then and I admit now that I was a coward," Martin said. "But I also submit to you that you are as well. It is far easier for you to lash out at your mother and distance yourself from your family, than it is for you to go get help. No one is saying that it will be easy, but it needs to be done. If I can't get you to look at that way, let's talk about the mate that you aren't going to look for..."

"I get it, alright?" Joseph snapped. He didn't but he wanted to get off of the phone.

"I don't think that you do," Martin continued. "You also accused me and rightfully so of selfishness. So tell me Joseph, how is not seeking your mate not selfish? She is out there somewhere unconsciously looking for you but you choose to hide behind your anger. You are choosing to leave her in the world alone, unloved and unprotected. You are choosing a life of loneliness and fear for her. Is that not selfish? I know what we are and were and I know that it's not an easy thing to come to grips with, but you have to do it if only for your own peace of mind and the wellbeing of your mate whoever she is. Now, get some help and I don't care who you talk to."

The words about the selfishness affected him more than anything else. In his mind he wasn't being selfish - he was looking after his mate whoever she was. He was protecting her from the ugliness of his family. He had to ask himself who he was really protecting. But his father had made a very valid point. What if something happened to her because he was busy protecting himself? Could he live with that?

"I'm only going to say one more thing and I'm only going to say it once," Martin continued his voice had taken on an ominous note. "I had better not ever come home again and find your mother in tears caused by you unless they are tears of happiness. Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir," Joseph replied. "Is mom there? I want to apologize to her."

A moment later, Rachel was on the phone.

"Mom- I'm sorry," Joseph said his throat tight. "I was wrong to talk to you like that when all you were trying to do was help."

"I know honey, but surely you see that this can't continue," Rachel said gently. "Whether you look for your mate or not is immaterial at this point. The important thing right now is your mental wellbeing. Do you promise to talk to someone?"

"I-I'm going over to Nathan's today," he replied. "I'll start there."

Rachel didn't think that it would be enough, but it was a start.

"Thank you honey - we love you."

"I love all of you too - and mom? I really am sorry."

Joseph hung up and turned off the television. The movie no longer interested him. He got up, went to his room and changed into his gym shorts and running shoes. A short while later, he was on his treadmill with headphones on listening to 'Santana', running as fast as the treadmill would allow him to go.

****

"Well," Martin said as he hugged Rachel and rubbed her stomach, "we'll see what happens."

"I hope that we got through to him," Rachel said placing her hands on top of Martin's. "You know, I think it's a girl this time."

"I would like that, but I'll take whatever comes," Martin replied. "You look tired, why don't you lie down for a while?"

"Only if you come with me," Rachel replied.

"I see," Martin said with a chuckle. "You want a back rub."

"I want whatever you're dishing out," Rachel replied as she placed her hands on his chest.

Martin loved these moments with her. It always reminded him that she had truly forgiven him, even if he hadn't forgiven himself and never would. These times when she would be so open with him had increased over the years, and had become a normal part of their lives. Ironically, it was during these times that he felt the guiltiest. She knew, but never said anything. She had finally accepted that Martin didn't want his guilt eased.

"I love you Rachel," Martin said as he held her close and kissed her.

"I love you too, now about that backrub..."

Martin picked her up, carried her to their room and laid her on the bed. He began to slowly undress her - something that he enjoyed as much as she did. He always undressed her in a certain order, starting with her shoes. He always talked in soft tones about whatever came to mind. Lately, it was about the baby. He was thrilled beyond belief. He loved being a father and was ready to tackle the role again. He loved seeing Rachel pregnant and hoped that there were many more children.

"That feels good," Rachel said, as she wiggled her toes in Martin's hands.

Martin worked his way up her legs, stopping at her calves that sometimes cramped and ached when she was pregnant.

"You, Mr. Martin Sinclaire are hired," Rachel said sleepily.

"There's no charge for you," he replied, as he massaged one calf and then the calf.

By the time he reached her knees, she was asleep. Martin pulled up a chair and put it next to the bed. While Rachel napped, he thought about Joseph. He was worried. Like Rachel, he didn't believe that Joseph would rape anyone. He was worried about his psychological wellbeing. The memory of his youngest brother, Jesse's, suicide, and then his father's suicide crossed his mind. He didn't think that Joseph was to the point of suicide, but he could see it happening. That was the worst case scenario. The other possibility was that he would just disappear, as he himself had done. His hope was that if enough people confronted him, he would be forced to talk to someone. 

****

"He says he's coming," Nathan told Louise, when he hung up.

"You didn't give him a whole lot of choice," Louise commented. 

"No, I didn't," Nathan replied, "but it's time to force the issue. I know that I've been busy and that other things have been going on, but we always used to find time to talk. He's been avoiding me and everyone else for years and it's getting worse. We should have done this a long time ago but we thought that he would come to me or someone of his own volition"

"You don't think..."

"No, I know that he won't hurt anyone," Nathan said. "The only person that he's going to hurt is himself. Sweetheart I have a couple of favors to ask."

"I already know what they are," Louise replied. "I'll keep my shields up and after dinner I'll make myself scarce. There's a new show on the cooking channel that I've wanted to see anyway."

"You're not hurt?" Nathan asked.

"Not at all," Louise replied. "I understand the need to take care of family and before you say anything, I know that I'm family too."

Nathan hugged her and kissed the top of her head. She was slowly but surely coming out of her shell.

****

Joseph brooded. He didn't want to go to Nathan's house. Louise made him nervous. He knew that she was in control of her gifts-supposedly, but she was still new. He didn't want her to accidentally see the bundle of anger and confusion that he was. But there was no way out of it. If he didn't go, Nathan would be at his doorstep with his mate in tow. His father would be on the phone and either Mason or Eustace would join the party.

Cursing under his breath, Joseph jumped off of the treadmill and headed toward the shower. He saw the visit with Nathan and his new mate as a double edged sword. He didn't want to talk about what their family but on the other hand, it might get people off his back. He was doing the bare minimum, but in his mind, it was better than nothing.




Joseph Ch. 01



After the shower, he got dressed and prepared to meet Louise. He could only hope that she was as in control of her gifts as everyone said she was. Realizing that it was too early to leave, Joseph sat at his laptop and opened a document that he had been working on for months. He began at the top of the thirty page document and began to read it, making changes and corrections as he went. The only issue was when it was finished; who would he take it to if he took it to anyone? The document had begun as a way for him to get things off his chest, but it had slowly turned into something else. He was as Nathan said a speed reader, but with this document, he always took his time. By the time he reached the last page, it was time to go. He gave the document one last perusal and closed it out. He sighed deeply and left, still trying to think of a way to get out of not going.

An hour later, he was sitting at Nathan and Louise's dining room table. It had been awkward at first. He was still concerned about Louise's ability to control her gifts. Louise was her usual quiet self, but was making a big effort not to accidentally feel whatever it was that had Joseph so nervous. Now that they were both more relaxed and Joseph found her soothing. For the first time for as long as he could remember, he felt calm.

Louise was, as Nathan had promised, a good cook and he had seconds, and then thirds, as well as dessert. He liked her and had a feeling that she could help him if he would allow her to do so. Nathan he decided was a lucky man but then all of the Sinclaire men with mates were. They had women that loved them in spite of what they were and had been.

Granted, Nathan hadn't raped, but he came from a family of rapist and yet this woman mated with him. It made him wonder why they could accept his family and he couldn't or wouldn't. 

"Dinner was fantastic," Joseph complimented. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Louise replied. "Do you like to cook?"

"I do ok, but I'm not anything like Nathan," Joseph replied. "Can I help with the cleanup?"

"No... you and Nathan visit," Louise replied with a smile. "And besides, you're company and you get a free pass - this time," she teased.

Nathan and Joseph helped clear the table and then went to Nathan's office. Nathan offered Joseph a drink and sat down.

"She really is beautiful and special," Joseph said after taking a sip of the brandy.

"Yes she is," Nathan agreed. "So what's been happening with you? I know from dad that your firm is doing well."

"It is," Joseph agreed. "You know - I really didn't want to come tonight."

"I know that and I'm glad that you did," Nathan replied. "It's been far too long since we've talked and being busy isn't an excuse.

"I know," Joseph agreed. "Nathan... I don't understand you, mom or any of the women that mate into this family. How were you able to let what they did go? Dad raped mom! That's the only reason that you're here! Doesn't that piss you off?"

Nathan let Joseph vent with a sigh of relief. Finally, he was getting it out and that was a start.

"I understand that it started a long time ago, but are you telling me that someone even before dad and the others were born didn't realize that it was wrong? I mean what the fuck is wrong with this picture?"

"I understand," Nathan said. "Let's start with the historical aspect of this thing. As you know no one knows who started it. If I had to guess it was someone in our family who was of the thought that vampires were superior over humans and that we had the right to do as we saw fit. I agree that there was probably someone who didn't agree but didn't speak up out of fear. You and I both know that it's easier to do what was done in the past than to try to change it."

"But rapists?" Joseph murmured.

"You also have to remember that we're talking about two different societies with vastly different morals and laws," Nathan explained. "Don't misunderstand me, it was, and is, wrong and nothing will ever change that. As far as dad goes - I can't even begin to tell you how angry I was. Even now there is a distance between us that is slowly narrowing but here's the rub. Who is ultimately responsible for how I act or what I say or do? Who teaches us these things?"

"So you're saying that dad and the others had no choice - I don't buy it." Joseph said. "There is always a choice."

"Let's take a hypothetical situation," Nathan said. "Let's say for a moment that nothing had changed. We're children and our father tells us from the time we could talk that it is acceptable to go out and hunt human women to use as we please. This is all that we hear as we grow to be men. Not once has anyone stepped forward to question the practice. So tell me, how do we know that what we are doing is wrong? We know that the humans consider it wrong, but we aren't human are we? We are vampire and thus entitled to do as we wish. I submit to you that that scenario is exactly what happened to dad and the others."

"Alright," Joseph said after a minute. "I'll buy that, but what about later? By his own admission uncle Ethan said that he knew it was wrong five fucking centuries before he raped Katrina! Dad knew it was wrong and instead of staying and stepping up, he ran like a coward and changed his name! Do you know what that means? It means that it could have ended a long time ago! Mom, Katrina and so many others wouldn't have been raped. Veronica's kidnapping and almost murder wouldn't have happened! Uncle Jesse and his mate would still be here! So tell me Nathan, how do you come to grips with that? How did you come to grips with the fact that you were conceived in violence? Explain to me how you could bring a woman into this fucked up family!"

Nathan took several minutes to reply. He wanted to give Joseph a chance to settle before he continued.

"I agree with you, in that once they realized that it was wrong, that it became their responsibility to begin to stop it. If they had, none of what you mentioned would have happened. I can't tell you what Uncle Ethan was thinking -- that's for him to say and the same goes for dad and Uncle Patrick. I would encourage you to talk to them. I can, however, talk about me.

I was angry as you can imagine. It wasn't until weeks after the revelation that I could even bring myself to speak to dad or any of the others for that matter. I slept outside of their bedroom door and refused to go to school. I had to be sure that he wouldn't hurt her again. Finally, he took me camping. It was just me and him, and he encouraged me to yell, scream, and even hit him, if it would help."

"Did you?" Joseph asked.

"I did and I called him every name in the book and got very creative with a few of them. I hit him until I couldn't stand on my feet any longer and did nothing to protect himself. He just stood there and took it. When I was done, he sat on the ground and pulled me into his arms. I fought him at first but he wouldn't let me go. He kept saying that he loved me, that they loved me and that I would have been born to them anyway because he and mom were mates. He apologized that he, in his selfishness, had made things so hard for me and mom."

"Did you believe him?" Joseph asked.

"I believed him," Nathan replied. "You weren't there, but Joseph; the pain, grief and regrets that poured from him couldn't be faked. Those emotions are always just under the surface and he doesn't ask that they be taken away from him."

"How did you forgive him?"

"I could because mom did," Nathan replied. "I figured that if she could forgive the male that hurt her - then so could I. It wasn't an overnight thing and even though I've forgiven him and I love him; we will never be as close as we were before I asked that question. Part of my anger toward him was that he didn't step forward once he realized that he had done wrong. He disappeared, changed his last name and hoped that one of the others would step forward. I'm sure that he mentioned that when you talked."

Joseph stood and poured them each another drink.

"He did say something about that," Joseph said. "When dad told me what he had done, I blamed mom. I asked her what was wrong with her that she was with the man that had raped her. I asked if I had been conceived through rape as well."

"Interesting," Nathan mused. "I asked if you were conceived the same way."

"Did you blame mom?" Joseph asked. 

"No... why would I? It wasn't her fault," Nathan replied.

"So, Louise is alright with this?" Joseph asked.

"Are you talking about the rapes? Of course she isn't," Nathan replied. "And neither is her sister, Kevyn, but they see that we're trying to keep anything like that from happening again, whether it's by us or someone else."

"I know and appreciate that," Joseph said, "but that doesn't change what this family is."

"No, it doesn't," Nathan agreed, "but have you heard anyone saying otherwise? We know that just as an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic; we will always be a family of rapists. And just as an alcoholic must take steps to protect his sobriety, we must take steps to make sure that this never happens again. That is why we are very public about it and each child when they are ready to be told is told the truth."

"Why did you change your last name back to Sinclaire?" Joseph asked.

"Because that is what I am," Nathan replied. "As ashamed of our past as I am, I'm also proud that we stepped up and took responsibility for what our family did. What would have keeping the last name of Richardson had done? Nothing and anyone who knows our family would know that I'm a Sinclaire just by looking at me. Keeping the last name of Richardson would have been hiding who I was and I didn't and I don't want to do that."

"So you think that I'm hiding?" Joseph asked his tone a bit defensive.

"That's a question that only you can answer," Nathan replied. "I want to encourage you to talk to dad and the others. I also think that you should talk to either Mason or Eustace. It's time that you start dealing with this. It affects more than just you, but your future mate as well. I also want you to know that I'm here for you as a brother and as a friend any time that you need me."

Joseph left a short time later not sure of how he felt. Relieved was too strong of a word and he hadn't changed his opinion of his family. But he had kept his word. He had talked to someone and that would buy him a couple of weeks of peace. He knew that his parents would still be up and would call as soon as he got home.

When he got home, he called his parents and told them that he had gone to Nathan's house for dinner and that they had talked. He could hear and feel the relief in Rachel's voice at the news. That alone made it worth it. He hung up and called the courier to pick up the briefs that he had read and made notes on. One of the human first years would know what to do with it. He gave the briefs one last look and put them in a sealed folder.

While he waited for the courier, he changed his clothes and hoped that the courier wasn't one of the females. He wasn't in the mood to be flirted with, but then he never was. He just felt less like it now. Five minutes later, the intercom buzzed. Joseph looked to see who the courier was and was relieved to see that it was a male. He knew that some of the male couriers were attracted to him too, but they kept it in check. Joseph handed the man the package, along with a tip while taking note of his name. After the man was gone, Joseph logged the pick up into his laptop and waited for confirmation that the package had been received. The confirmation alert beeped once and went silent. 

Having done all that he could do for work, Joseph let his mind wander to the conversation with Nathan. He had been right about many things, but he still hadn't explained how he dealt with what their family was. Finally, he went to bed deciding that he would talk to Nathan again in a few weeks. He wasn't ready to talk to his father or uncles about it.

The few weeks had turned into months. Another problem, in the form of hunters, had arisen and was taking up everyone's time, his included. It had been a nightmarish several months but some positives had come out of it. The Sinclaire line had grown, both literally and figuratively. The threat had pulled the Blackwell's and Sinclaires back together as friends, allies, and, now, family. He had known that there had to be something to the fact that two powerful women had mated into the Sinclaire family and was amazed but not entirely surprised about the history between the Sinclaires and Yancy's. 

The threat had finally resolved and there were two new babies - Louise and Barb's. Two more innocents that would have to be told what monster family that they had been born into. Of the two babies, he considered Nathan's to be the more unfortunate one. That didn't mean that he didn't love or that he wouldn't die for her - he would, but she had Sinclaire blood in her veins. Sadly, he thought the same of his baby sister Stephanie, or Steffi, as he called her. He loved the little girl to a distraction, but like him she was tainted.

Now that the hunter threat was over, his mother began hinting that he should talk to someone. Reluctantly, he admitted that she was right. But he wasn't ready to go to Mason or Eustace. He would go back to Nathan first and then maybe talk to his father. The truth of it was that he was coming to certain conclusions himself while they were all under one roof. One was that the women in their family were awesome. Their capacity to love and forgive was almost overwhelming. He wanted to understand where that quality came from. The second thing was that as much as he swore that he didn't want to find his mate; he did. The third thing was that he couldn't go to her as he was. He had too much emotional baggage to unload. The fourth, and final thing, was that he realized that he had been and was as much of a coward, as he had accused his father of being. He wasn't about to run out and change his last name to Sinclaire - he wasn't ready for that, but he should have dealt with his issues long before now. It was time.

****

Lainie read the acceptance letter over again. She had done it! She had been accepted into law school at UCLA. She had to start making preparations financially, as she wouldn't be able to keep both jobs. She decided to keep the babysitting job because she could study while the kids napped and it fit better with her schedule.

She had already called her parents who made her read the acceptance letter three times.

"We are so proud of you," her father said. "We knew that you would be accepted. Now, we are going to help you and we will not accept no for an answer. We will assume responsibilities for your bills and rent..."

"Papa..."

"We want nothing to distract you from meeting your goals," he continued. "You will send us the information."

Lainie sighed. She knew that tone well. It meant that he had made up his mind and that there was nothing she could do to change it.

"I will expect an email from you this week," he said.

"Papa you don't have to do this..."

"I am aware of that," he replied. "It is something that we want to do. Your grandparents are pleased."

"Which ones?" Lainie asked, before she realized what she was saying. Her father's parent's limited acceptance of her was still a very sensitive issue for him. "I'm sorry papa..."

"No apologies are needed," he replied. "My parents are pleased for you, as are your mother's parents."

Lainie could believe that her maternal grandparents were happy and proud of her. She wasn't so sure of her paternal side. The last time she saw them was at the awards ceremony for her father. They spoke to her but made no moves to touch her. But she still tried to engage them in conversation.

"This is so great isn't it?" she asked her grandmother.

"Yes," she replied not looking at her. "Your father is a very smart man in many ways."

Lainie had to tamp down her anger at what her grandmother was implying.

"Well grandmother," she said quietly, "I happen to think that my father is brilliant in all ways." 

She walked away before her grandmother could reply and took her seat next to her mother. Instead of sitting in the same row as her, her mother and maternal grandparents, her father's parents sat in the row in front of them. One of her cousins that attended the ceremony shook his head sadly and patted Lainie on the hand in sympathy.

"Lainie? Are you there?" Her father asked.

"Yes papa, I'm sorry I was distracted by something but I'll send the email later today."

"Good - your mother would like to speak with you, I love you Lainie and I am so very proud of you."

"I love you too papa," Lainie replied her throat tight. 

She spoke to her mother, who reiterated what her father said about paying her expenses. Lainie mentioned that they were already covering what her grants didn't for her education.

"Lainie, you are our baby and this is what parents do. We are so proud of you and don't forget to send that email."

"I won't...mom? I love you guys and I'm sorry...."

"Lainie, it's over and it's in the past," her mother interrupted. "We got through it. We loved you, then, and we will always love you no matter what happens. You have a wonderful future ahead of you so concentrate on that."

Lainie wiped away tears and tried to smile. She had hit the jackpot as far as parents were concerned and she intended to keep them as proud of her as they were now.

"I also wanted to tell you that I'm going to be in L.A for two weeks. I was hoping that I could stay with you and we could do mother/daughter stuff like shopping, manicures and pedicures."

"That would be great!" Lainie exclaimed. "I baby sit on the weekends and I have classes during the week, but sure you can stay here!"

"Good, I have some seminar things to go to and as always papers to grade so I'll be busy too," Ellen replied. "I am so excited! You can take me on a tour of UCLA and your father says to make sure that we take plenty of pictures of us together. He would love to come, but he can't because of some meetings."

"That's too bad," Lainie replied. "Maybe he can come for a long weekend."

Lainie loved it when her father went shopping with them. Unlike most men, he loved shopping with her and her mother and was an active participant. He usually acted as runner exchanging clothing for the right size or a different color. 

One day they were at a busy boutique and he was doing his usual running and giving opinions. There was another man sitting in front of the dressing rooms impatiently waiting for his wife. He watched Trong for several minutes before speaking to him.

"Excuse me, but you can't really be enjoying this."

"Of course I am," her father replied. "It pleases me because they are pleased."

The man shook his head and laughed. "In other words, you're pussy whipped."

Trong, who never used profanity or slang of any kind, looked at the man.

"I beg to differ," he said. "I am here because I love my wife and daughter and I choose to be. You are here because you have to be, so tell me, who is, as you call it, pussy whipped?"

The man sputtered, stood up, and walked away.

Lainie was listening to the conversation and about fainted. She had never heard her father use slang and it was startling to say the least. It was also when she realized just how much her father loved them. From that moment on she made a point of watching them. They were always touching each other and supported each other to the fullest. There were never harsh words even if there was a disagreement and they never, ever went to bed angry at each other or anyone else. They still held hands in public and her father treated her and her mother like the ladies they were. She wanted that. She wanted the kind of marriage that her parents had. She also watched other couples including both sets of grandparents. Her maternal grandparent's marriage was the most like her parents. Her father's parent's marriage seemed cold and distant to her, but then it had been an arranged marriage.




Joseph Ch. 01



*

"Maybe," her mother agreed. "If anything changes we'll let you know. I'd better get going, there's an open house for the new professors. We'll talk again soon- we love you."

Lainie hung up thrilled that her mother was coming. Their relationship hadn't always been good and that was no fault of her mother's, but her fault and her fault alone. It was in the past, as her mother said, but it was never far from Lainie's mind. The memories always came up whenever her parents did something phenomenal for her as they were doing now. She didn't deserve the way that they loved her but accepted it gratefully. She wiped her eyes and logged on to her laptop and wrote an email containing the information that her parents had requested. There were two small bills that she didn't add because she felt like she needed to do something for herself. She would also keep the babysitting job unless she became so busy with her studies that she couldn't do it. She sent the email and got ready for work at the coffee shop. She would tell the owner/manager that she would be quitting in a month thus giving him more than enough time to replace her.

She glanced at the acceptance letter that lay on the bedside table and grinned. She was going to be a lawyer.

****

Dinner at Nathan and Louise's had become a weekly event. He went there on Sundays and to his parents on Fridays. Joseph still only talked to Nathan about their family and found that he was beginning to feel better. He realized that he really had been a powder keg about to go off. He knew that he needed to talk to his father and uncles, but he wasn't ready yet. He also knew that he needed to talk to a professional. There was only so much that Nathan could do other than to lend a sympathetic and empathetic ear. He still had the feeling that Louise could help him but he wasn't ready for that either. One night as he worked, he had to wonder what it would take to get him ready to do what needed to be done. 



Joseph Ch. 02



The week before her mother's arrival flew by. The spare room that Lainie had used for baby-sitting was spotless with all of the supplies tucked safely away in a corner in her room. She hated the additional clutter but reminded herself that it was for a good reason. As she took another look around the room she was filled with happiness, but sadness as well. Once again she realized that she didn't deserve to be loved in the way that her parents loved her. A tear escaped and she absently wiped it away. This wasn't a time for sadness. Her mother was coming and they were going to do lots of mother/ daughter things including a manicure and pedicure. She still wished that her father was coming for the week but he did promise to come for a long weekend. That way he and her mother could go back together.

Satisfied that the room was in good shape, Lainie went to her room and looked at the baby sitting supplies. She had already told the parents that in a few weeks she would be unable to babysit on a full time basis. The news was met with a mixture of pride, happiness and sadness. The truth was- she was going to miss the kids too, but she wasn't going to miss the mess that they created. 

School would start in four weeks. She was so excited that she checked the online book store several times a day hoping that the syllabi and books would be available. She did manage to get the book list and ordered as many of the books as she could online. She made a trip to Wal-Mart and stocked up on paper, pens and pencils as well as energy drinks.

She stood by her bed trying to decide where she was going to store things until her parents were gone and finally decided on beneath the bed. The last thing that she had to do was go grocery shopping. She sat at the kitchen table and began to make up the grocery list. As she did, she thought about how her and her mother always did it together. A warm feeling filled her as she thought about those times. She put the pencil down and decided to wait until her mother arrived to make the list. Now with nothing else to do, she decided to go for a walk. It was a beautiful summer day and one not to be wasted.

At the last minute she decided to pack a snack and to go to the park. Snack in hand, Lainie left her apartment and made her way to the park. It was a hub bub of activity. There were children everywhere playing games and families enjoying picnics. She looked around for an empty spot and found one where a group of young men were playing softball. She wasn't an avid sports fan but she did enjoy watching on occasion. She had just sat down when the softball whizzed by her head and hit the tree behind her. A moment later, a tall muscular dark haired young man was there looking down at her.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he retrieved the ball.

"I'm fine, it missed me," Lainie replied looking up at him.

Something about him disturbed her. She wasn't afraid of him, but he seemed familiar to her somehow. She was positive that she didn't know him but when he spoke...

"I haven't seen you here before."

Lainie's mouth went dry. She knew him but she didn't. She had heard those words before. That was how it all began. The series of bad decisions... 

"Excuse me but I have to leave," she said as she picked up her back pack and stood up. She was gone before the young man had a chance to say anything more. She rushed home and ate her snack in front of the television. As she ate, a name that she had tried hard to forget came forward. The name of the man that had almost destroyed her. No, she amended. She had let him almost destroy her. She had allowed him to cloud her thinking. She had almost done the unthinkable because of him.

Elliot Robert Mitchum.

Robert was tall, dark haired, blue eyed and a self-professed god's gift to all women. At one time, she had agreed with him. He had often bragged that his mother named him after the famous actor Robert Mitchum because he resembled him down to the blue eyes. He had even considered to having his name changed to the late actor's full name. Lainie didn't know who Robert Mitchum was and had no real interest in finding out. She just accepted his word for it.

Lainie shook her head to clear it. The man in the park had in no way resembled Robert except for the dark hair. It was those words- "I haven't seen you here before" that had rattled her to her core. After Elliot, she had shied away from any relationship that was more than platonic. The deep seated guilt and shame always stopped her when she even thought about more than a friendship with a male. The choices that she had made still boggled her mind. The fact that she had been young was no excuse- she knew better but had ignored everything that she knew to be right and for what? A man who had cared nothing for her and had only cared for himself. She wiped away an angry tear when she heard a tap on the door. Elliot Robert Mitchum sank back into her memory when she saw the large box sitting in front of her door. The first of her books had arrived.

****

As time passed, Joseph began to feel a little more comfortable around Louise. It was obvious to him that she was taking great pains not to intrude on his thoughts or his feelings. What amazed him was the amount of control that she had for someone so new to her power. He would later find out that she wasn't new to the power- she had taught herself how to block out other people's emotion out of necessity.

"She didn't know what she was," Nathan explained one evening after dinner, "but she instinctively knew that she had to protect herself."

Joseph listened as Nathan told him about Louise's past and family history. 

"Well," he said when Nathan was done speaking, "that explains a few things."

"Such as?" Nathan asked.

"The whole family dynamics," Joseph replied. "But I don't want to talk about that. I have enough of my own drama without delving into someone else's."

Nathan poured them a drink and sat down to wait. He knew Joseph had something on his mind and whatever it was couldn't be forced out of him.

"I know," Joseph said after taking a sip of his drink, "that we've talked about how you've managed to cope with this whole rape thing before but I still don't get it. Why am I the one so angry about it? I wasn't the product of rape. Mom loves dad, has forgiven him and they're even having another baby. You are happy with Louise and seem totally unaffected by it. Explain that to me."

"I don't know that I can," Nathan replied. "But you're wrong about one thing. I was and am still affected by it. I am still angered by not just what dad did but what our family as a whole did. We know that it started long before Uncle Ethan and the others came into being, we know that our grandfather continued the teaching because he was afraid of his father who was a true serial rapist but... It was the fact that once someone realized that it was wrong and did nothing that angers me. But that wasn't your question was it? You want to know how I've managed."

"Exactly," Joseph replied. "How do you do it?"

Nathan took a long swig of his drink before he answered.

"Joseph, we are each responsible for how we handle the circumstances handed to us. I was furious, hurt and confused when I found out and I had to let those emotions run their course. Once I did, I realized that I had a decision to make. I could continue being angry and let that anger control me or I could deal with it and take steps to make sure that it doesn't happen again. I also know that if Louise and I have a child, that anger will rise again. What parent wants to tell his child the ugliness and wrongs that his family has committed? But I will have to remake the decision on how I handle that anger when and if that time comes."

"So you chose to help, but wasn't it hard for you to keep take the last name of Sinclaire?" Joseph asked as he stood to refill their glasses.

"Let me ask you something," Nathan said. "You kept the last name of Richardson- has it really helped anything? Has it made you less than a Sinclaire? You are a Sinclaire no matter what you change your last name to. Anyone who knows us knows that you are a Sinclaire just by looking at you so my question is this- has it helped?"

Joseph thought long and hard before replying.

"The night they told me about the rapes I was going to hand them the papers asking that my name be changed to Sinclaire. After they told me, I ripped the papers up and threw them away. I wanted no part of the Sinclaire name and yes before you say it, I reaped the benefits of being a Sinclaire and I still am. Ripping up those papers didn't mean that I didn't and don't love my family. I do-but I still can't wrap my head around what we were- what we are."

"Joseph, we-meaning you and I are not rapists. Neither is every male in our family. Neither of us have ever hurt a woman or taken her against her will. We were born into a family with a horrible history. Unfortunately, we are tainted by that history and name change or not we will never escape that fact. I would love to go back and rewrite our family history but that is impossible. The bottom line is this, what are you going to do with your anger? I'm going to make a suggestion that you aren't going to like. I think that you need to think about seeing someone."

Joseph felt a surge of anger at the suggestion even though he had heard it many times before. His hope was that he could deal with his anger by talking to Nathan.

"I'm talking to you," he said after a few seconds had passed.

"Yes, but I'm not a professional," Nathan replied. "I also think that there's much more going on with you than you're saying and you need someone impartial to talk to."

Instead of replying, Joseph sat his glass down and stood up. 

"I've got to go, thanks for dinner and tell Louise goodnight for me."

Before Nathan could say anything, Joseph was gone.

*****

Joseph sat on the sofa dressed in his boxer shorts with his laptop open. He stared at the documents in front of him unable to concentrate on them. Now that he had some time to cool off, he had to admit that some of what Nathan said had some merit. What had keeping the last name of Richardson accomplished? Nothing- but he wasn't about to go running to get his last name changed to Sinclaire. Nathan was also right in saying that he was responsible for what he did with his anger. He had and was letting it control him and his relationship with his family. He loved them but...

"I hate what they are," he murmured.

His mind drifted to the women of the family. His mother Rachel in particular. It still amazed him that she was able to forgive his father enough to marry him and to give him more children. If she could forgive him then why couldn't he? He had the same thoughts about Katrina. She had been brutalized and the rape had almost destroyed her but she didn't allow it to. She used her anger in a positive way. The mandatory reporting, the group homes; getting her doctorates in social work, psychology and business administration and now she was writing a book about her experiences. Simply amazing.

He sat the laptop aside, leaned back and closed his eyes. It occurred to him that the women in the Sinclaire family had one thing in common besides being female. All of them, no matter where they had come from had an inner strength that he did not possess. The word coward came to mind and he shoved it away as if he had heard something disgusting.

"I am not a coward," he muttered angrily.

A moment later the laptop was back in his lap and he was reading the document that he was drafting. He had no idea of what he was going to do with it when he was finished or if he could even follow through with the things that he was proposing. He slammed the laptop shut and began to read briefs for court that week. The word coward again came to mind but he had the feeling that it had nothing to do with the documents but everything to do with what he and Nathan had talked about.

Unable to concentrate on the briefs, Joseph decided to go for a run on the treadmill. By his estimation he would need a new one by the end of the week. He ran for almost three hours and had hardly broken a sweat. He was however, calmer and able to focus on reading the briefs. After he read them, he went through them again to divide them between the lawyers working under him. One of the cases was a criminal case. It had Winston's name written all over it. 

Joseph smiled as he wrote Winston's name on a sticky note and stuck it to the file. The young black vampire had been a friend of the family's for so long that he and Nathan considered him a brother. His smile widened when he remembered the chess games that they used to play by the gate when there was no school. Winston was by far the best lawyer that he had and was in line for a partnership. It was something that should have happened long ago.

"Why wait any longer?" Joseph muttered under his breath. "After this trial, I'll make the announcement."

He began planning the celebration and reminded himself to call Nathan and the rest of the family. This was a huge deal because Winston would be the first person that he would be adding as a partner. He began to hum to himself. It felt good to concentrate on something good instead of his issues with his family.

He sent emails to Nathan and the rest of the family swearing them to secrecy then to Winston's wife also swearing her to secrecy. Next he emailed the caterers that he usually used for any parties and finally his staff at the home that he rarely lived in. When he was done, inexplicably, Barbara Yancy came to mind. They were more alike than he liked to admit. Not personality wise, but in how they were distanced from their families. After thinking about it, he realized that it was a conscious choice on both of their parts. Both of them had families that loved them and both of them pushed those families away. The reasons didn't matter; the result was still the same. They were both loners in a group of people that loved them.

He pushed thoughts of Barbara Yancy out of her mind and went back to thinking about the questions that Nathan had asked. Had keeping the last name of Richardson changed or helped anything? He was forced to admit that it hadn't. It also hadn't made him feel any better. He found that the relatively good mood that he had been in while planning Winston's party was rapidly diminishing. On a whim, he decided that he needed a night out. There was a long list of women who would go out with him, but he was selective. He wanted someone that had a brain, someone that he could talk to and someone who wouldn't be after what she thought he could offer her.

He mentally ran down his list of options before deciding on Teri McAllister. She was brilliant as well as beautiful with her blue/black hair and dark eyes. But more importantly, she knew what the story was. Theirs was a no strings attached type of relationship. If he called and she was available then fine, if not he would choose someone else. The problem was with some of the others he had to make sure that they understood that it was just an evening out. Sex was optional and if there was sex, it was consensual and in no way meant that they were in a relationship. There were several that he no longer saw because they failed to understand that. A few of them understood but thought that they could change his mind.

He looked at the clock and decided to call Teri although it was early, she would be up. He dialed her number and waited for her to answer. A few minutes later, the plans for the evening were set. If there was sex afterwards, they would either go to a hotel or to her place. Bringing someone to one of his places was off limits. Teri had asked him about it once and he had given her some vague excuse which she had accepted. After that she had never asked again.

Now back in a relatively good mood, Joseph finished reading his briefs and then got ready for bed. He wouldn't sleep but would read the law journals that he kept at his bedside until it was time to meet Teri later in the evening. As he read, his mind drifted to the matter of his last name. As far as he was concerned, his last name was and always would be Richardson and he wasn't going to change it. As he made the decision, the word coward floated around in his brain as soft as a whisper.

"I am not a coward!" he exclaimed as he threw the magazine he had been reading across the room.

Angry again, he got out of bed and stomped around his room. He had to ask himself that if he was so content with his decision, why was he so angry? Not for the first time did he wish that he could get so drunk that he could pass out. He was tempted to try although he knew that he would fail. Instead, he got back on the treadmill and ran until it burned out.

***

Teri was waiting for him at the restaurant that they usually went to whenever they went out. She greeted him with a cool kiss on the cheek knowing that he neither expected nor wanted more than that. It was the kind of kiss one gave to a friend and not a lover because they really couldn't call themselves lovers.

"You look lovely," Joseph commented as he returned the kiss on her cheek. "How have you been?"

"I'm good... how are you?" she asked looking up at him. "And don't lie," she added. "You only call me when you're bugged about something so what gives?"

"Maybe I just wanted to pass the evening with a good friend," Joseph replied knowing that she wasn't fooled.

"If you say so," Teri replied taking his offered arm.

Joseph knew what a handsome couple they made and ignored the stares and whispers. On some level, he wished that he and Teri was a real couple, but she wasn't his and even if she were he wouldn't subject her to his family history.

When they were seated and drinks ordered, they talked about their respective firms. While Teri didn't own her own firm, she was a senior partner. What Joseph didn't understand was why she didn't branch off and start her own firm. She was smart and one of the most talented corporate law attorneys that he knew. It was something that they discussed every time they were together.

"I like where I am," she always said when he asked about it.

"If it's the cost..."

"It isn't that," she always interrupted. "I like where I am and besides, I'll know when it's time to move on and it isn't time."

After that, the conversation would turn to whatever his particular issue was.

"So," Teri said after the conversation about her starting her firm was over, "what ails you? And don't give me that shit about wanting to spend time with an old friend. I know you Joseph Richardson so spill."

"I don't know," he said lying. "I was just thinking that I needed a night out. Good food, good wine and good conversation with a beautiful woman who happens to be a good friend."

Teri looked at him long and hard before she spoke next.

"Joseph, there's something going on with you and I'm worried. I never said anything before because I thought that it would pass. For as long as I've known you, there's been this underlying anger to the good mood that you try to portray. So what gives? What has got you so tied up in knots?"

Joseph blinked. Had it been that obvious?

"I'm just going through some personal things- family issues," he replied.

"I see," Teri said not believing him. 

"Look Teri, I'll be fine; I promise," Joseph said with a forced smile. "What I need from you is fun and laughter. I don't want to talk about my issues. Can we do that?"

"Of course, but Joseph, I'm here if you ever need me," Teri said reaching across the table and holding her hand out to him.

Joseph gratefully accepted her offered hand and gave it a gentle squeeze by way of thanking her. They ordered dinner, danced and went back to Teri's apartment. Joseph fixed drinks for them while she changed into more comfortable clothes and washed her make up off. Even without makeup Joseph thought that she was gorgeous. She had the girl next door look and one would never have guessed that she was a high powered corporate attorney who played with the big boys.




Joseph Ch. 02



Instead of having sex, Teri popped in a movie and curled up on the couch next to him. They watched the movie without talking and when it was over, Joseph kissed her goodnight. If Teri was disappointed that there was no sex, she didn't show it. That was how their relationship was and besides, Joseph knew that she didn't suffer from a lack of sex.

He went home feeling much better than when he had left. It was a temporary fix but he was determined to enjoy the respite no matter how brief it was. His respite was over much sooner than he wanted it to be. He saw the answering machine's bright red light blinking furiously. He was tempted to ignore it and a few minutes later wished that he had.

"Joseph, this is...." 

He clicked the machine off as soon as he heard the voice and walked away his relatively peaceful feeling now gone. 

****

Elliot Robert Mitchum sat at the bar nursing his beer. It didn't matter that it was just past noon and he was on his third beer. It didn't matter because he had lost his job-again. He brushed his dark hair back from his face and took another drink. 

"Hey," a pretty brunette said as she sat down next to him.

He didn't reply but moved away, if she had caught him a few beers later, he would have been more receptive. Unfortunately, the woman didn't take the hint and moved with him. Finally, he became rude and told her to go away. The woman gave him a nasty glare, called him an asshole and went in search of someone more receptive of her charms. It was during these times in a bar that he thought about Lainie. She had to be close to being school if she wasn't already.

He remembered the first time that he saw her as if it had just happened. She was coming out of the library as he was going in. He even remembered how he greeted her. "I haven't seen you here before". To him she was a tiny little thing with wild hair, but he thought her pretty enough. Initially his goal was just to get into her pants as he knew that she had been untouched. Then, he found out who her parents were and set out to ingratiate himself with her. The problem was he didn't like Vietnamese. But still he pursued her until finally; she gave in and agreed to go out with him-with her parent's permission of course.

What he hadn't expected was that he had to meet them. He told himself that it would be alright and well worth it if she would put out and pay for everything to boot. He had put his wallet in the glove compartment of his car so that he could honestly say that he didn't have it. That first meeting was uncomfortable at best. He had dressed neatly, gotten a haircut and was prepared to wow Lainie's parents.

He unconsciously wiped his hands on his slacks when he remembered shaking hands with Lainie's father. He thought that he had hidden his dislike well but apparently, not well enough. He knew by the way that Lainie's parents, her father especially looked at him that they weren't fooled. Lainie was the only one that was.

"So you are a senior," her mother asked quietly.

"Yes ma'am."

"Where will you be attending college?"

"I'm still deciding," Robert replied not liking the intense way that Lainie's mother was looking at him. Just when he thought that her father wasn't going to say anything, he opened his mouth.

"Graduation is in a few months. How is it that you haven't chosen a college yet?"

"I... I umm I applied late," Elliot stammered. His dislike for Lainie's parents was growing by the second.

"I see, what do you intend to study?"

"I don't know yet. The first couple of years are prerequisites so I have time to figure that out," Robert replied wondering where in the hell Lainie was. Later he would find out that the grilling was a planned thing.

"Lainie is already looking at colleges," her mother said. "We've even visited a few."

"Well fucking good for her!" he wanted to say but instead said, "That's great. I plan to do that next weekend." It was a lie and he knew that they knew it.

While they talked, Elliot looked around the house. It was a beautiful home that confirmed what he already knew. While not filthy rich, Lainie's family had money which meant that by extension; so did she. He also realized something else- her parents loved her and would do anything to protect her. And Lainie herself wasn't stupid. He had to watch what he did and what he said at all times. The fuck sessions that he so proudly broadcasted would have to be kept secret. Lainie had to believe that he was hers and only hers.

A few minutes later, Lainie came down the stairs dressed in a light yellow sundress and white sandals. Her normally unruly hair was fixed into a simple French braid. She had gone from being merely pretty to beautiful.

"You look great," Robert said meaning it and wondering what it would take to get her out of her dress. He liked his girls to have bigger boobs, but he would make do. Besides, it was what was below the waist that really mattered. That and of course the mouth. Lainie was a virgin on three fronts and he wanted to be the one to take her for the first time in all of them.

"Thanks, sorry I kept you waiting," Lainie replied blushing.

"It was worth the wait," Robert said falling back onto the lessons that his father had taught him about how to deal with women. "Tell them what they want to hear and soon you'll have them sucking your cock."

He stole a glance at her mother hoping that he had scored a few points. It was clear that he hadn't. They didn't like him. He mentioned something to Lainie when they were in his car.

"It isn't that," she replied. "They would have acted the same way no matter who you were."

The date was dinner at an Italian restaurant during which he found out all about her plans to be a lawyer and not some public defender. Lainie wanted to be a corporate lawyer- she would be making the big bucks. Robert was realistic enough to know that the chances of them remaining together until that happened were slim to none. But he could ride the horse for as long as he could before she gave up and threw in the towel. 

As he sat listening to her plans for the future, Robert decided that he really didn't like her. He didn't like the fact that she seemed to have a perfect life. Her family could afford to buy her nice things, take vacations and to send her to whatever school she chose to attend. By contrast, his family had no money to speak of and for the most part completely ignored each other. He was jealous that Lainie had a family that loved her. Without consciously thinking about it, Elliot decided that he was going to teach Lainie and her family a lesson.

After dinner, when the check was sitting in front of him; he reached for his wallet.

"Oh shit!" he moaned as he frantically patted himself down. "I forgot my wallet! I'm so sorry! Please tell me that you have some cash on you."

"I... I have the credit card that's for emergencies..."

"I think that this qualifies," Robert broke in. "And Lainie? Can we keep this between us? The guys will laugh me out of school if they find out."

"I guess so," Lainie said after a few seconds hesitation.

By the time the evening was over, Lainie had paid for the dinner, the movie and put gas in Robert's car. Now a few years later, Robert thought about that night and saw his mistakes. He should have paid for the dinner and the movie. Having her pay for it would only make her parents dislike him more. There was no way in which her parents wouldn't find out about it which meant that he had to repay her for what they spent.

"Look, I'll pay you back, I promise," he said smiling at her.

After the movie, he took her home and gave her a respectable kiss on the cheek. He had to admit that he liked the way that her skin felt against his lips and wondered what her lips would feel like wrapped around his cock. "Slow down Rob," he chided himself as he walked away.

He finished his beer finding it hard to believe that so much time had passed. He had been married and divorced by the time he was twenty-three. Fortunately there had been no children and the divorce had been easy- neither of them had any money or property. He lost his job and had to move back home with his parents. The reception was less than welcoming. For some reason, Lainie's name popped into his head. He knew that had she showed up at home needing a place to stay, her parents would have welcomed her in spite of what she had done. That was the first of many times that he consciously remembered Lainie. Several beers later, he was much more receptive to the attentions of the opposite sex. The brunette was gone but there were others to take her place.

"You know," a beautiful redhead said as she plopped down beside him, "you look just like that actor from a long time ago. I can't remember his name."

"Robert Mitchum," Robert drawled pleased that someone noticed the resemblance without him having to say anything. "Would you believe that that's my name? Only our middle names are different."

"You must be related to him somehow..."

"Yeah... he's related to my dad," Robert lied. "What's your name?"

By the end of the evening, he had a place to lay his head for the evening. By the end of the week, he had a place to live. The woman, Lucinda Wilson was more than happy to give him a place to stay after she found out how talented he was with his tongue. For a while, Lainie went back into Robert's memories. Things were good.

****

Three years later

"One more year," Lainie breathed as she worked on a paper that was due in a week. She was now glad that her parents had insisted on paying her expenses while she was in school. She had to hand it to those students that still worked while carrying the heavy load and a few of them even had kids! She reread the paper and decided that it was missing something but put it away. Her mind couldn't focus anymore and she was in desperate need of a break. Her treat to herself was to give herself a manicure and pedicure while she watched television. Since it was the weekend, she could finish the paper and still have time to revise it after she sent it to her father for editing. Often he would find a point that needed clarification and asked her what she meant. By this time, her parents had co-authored a book that was being added to the curriculum at the university where they taught.

She was so proud of them but as always that pride was tempered with guilt that she knew would never go away. She saved her work, shut down the laptop and went to gather the supplies for her pedicure and manicure. Next she took a long hot shower making sure to put on the shower cap to protect her hair. When it came down to it, she couldn't cut it. Instead she paid someone who did hair out of their home to fix her hair on a weekly basis. The woman, who lived three blocks away; always did her hair on Sundays so it looked fresh for the beginning of the week.

After her shower, Lainie oiled her dark caramel skin and began to work on her nails as she watched her favorite shows. One of the commercials was an ad for a law agency. As she watched the commercial, she made a decision- she would apply for an internship somewhere. But before she did that, she needed to make sure that she had enough school under her belt. The next thing would be to find out which firms were looking for interns. She already knew what her parents were going to say- that she should concentrate on her studies, but she needed the experience and wanted to get her foot in the door somewhere. It could be a real feather in her cap if she interned with one of the well-known firms. 

An hour later, her nails were a lovely shade of purple and her toe nails matched. Since it was still early and she wasn't tired, Lainie cleaned up her mess, made a cup of hot tea and logged on to her laptop. It was almost two am by the time she had a list of firms that used interns. It was three by the time she finished working on her resume and four by the time she finished ordering books to help her pass the BAR exam. Finally, she was ready to sleep.

*****

Joseph sat in the large chair and groaned. It had taken him almost three more years before he finally accepted that he needed help with his issues. He still kept the last name of Richardson and was almost sure that he would always keep it. He wasn't getting help because his family had had enough of his anger; he was getting it because he knew that they were right.

Nathan had asked if he wanted him to come with him to his first appointment as moral support, but Joseph had declined. He didn't know what he was going to say and he didn't want any hurt feelings if he should say something horrible. Suddenly he didn't want to be there. The anger was more comfortable. He likened it to an old pair of bedroom slippers that were falling apart but they still felt good to the feet. Just as he was about to leave, Eustace Matthews appeared.

"Going somewhere?" he asked in his deep bass.

Caught, Joseph didn't reply.

"Joseph," Eustace said firmly. "If you don't want to be here, then there's no point to this. It would be a waste of time for the both of us."

"I don't want to be here," Joseph replied. "I have to be here. No one is making me, but I've come to the conclusion that they're right. I have to get a handle on this anger. And before you ask, I don't feel the need to rape. If you ask me that whole genetics thing was and is bullshit."

"I see," Eustace said as he settled in his chair. "May I ask what your explanation is? I'm not saying that you're right or wrong. I'm just curious."

"I know that it started centuries ago. I can also believe that we thought that it was our right and that humans were inferior to us. Having said that- I believe that someone long ago realized that it was wrong and was too afraid to say anything. What pisses me off is that it could have ended a long time ago. Someone even before my uncles could have ended it! My father and then Uncle Ethan could have ended this years ago! Both of them were cowards. They held on to that genetics crap knowing damned well that it was bull shit! Then they say that it was because they didn't know any better! But they fucking did and did nothing about it."

"You do know your family history do you not?" Eustace asked. 

"Yeah, I know it. So what?"

"Why do you think that you and Nathan never raped?" Eustace asked.

"Because we were taught that it was wrong!"

"And who taught you that?"

"Our parents did," Joseph replied.

"And where do you suppose that your father and uncles got the idea that it was acceptable to hurt innocent women?"

When Joseph didn't reply, Eustace continued. 

"I maintain that initially the males in your family really believed that this was their right. But I also agree with you. Someone- even way back when this started knew that it was wrong and was afraid to speak up. I also agree that had someone spoken up, this could have ended long ago but there were other things namely your grandfather at play."

"So you're saying that we have no responsibility in this?" Joseph shot back hotly.

"Not at all," Eustace replied. "What I am saying is that we have to look at the big picture. Your father and uncles didn't wake up one evening and decide to rape. This was in your family's case a taught behavior. Should someone have spoken up? Absolutely. If they had..."

"Do you know what else I don't get?" Joseph interrupted. "I don't understand the women that marry into this family. Why didn't they run the other way?"

"Maybe they saw the males that your father and uncles were meant to be," Eustace replied. "I do know that it wasn't an easy thing for them to accept. It was much more difficult for your mother and Katrina for obvious reasons. Let me ask you something since we're talking about the women in your family. Are you seeking your mate?"

"Fuck no!" Joseph replied hotly. "To do so would be selfish. I would rather live alone than expose a woman to my screwed up family."

Eustace didn't reply. This was a subject for a much later time.

"So," Eustace said sitting back in his chair, "what prompted you to finally accept that your family is right?"

Joseph wasn't sure of how to answer the question because he didn't know the answer. At least he told himself that he didn't. He didn't want to admit that as of late he was beginning to feel a longing that had at one time been easy to push away. The drafts that he had been working on for years were complete and locked away. He was still undecided as to what to do with them. That, he realized was part of the problem.

"You have no idea?" Eustace asked.

"I guess... I guess I need to understand why I'm the one that's so angry when it should be Nathan," Joseph replied. 

"Nathan had his issues too," Eustace said.

"I know, but I don't understand how he can claim this fucked up family of ours. How can he bring a mate into this? How is it that he isn't as angry about it as I am?"

"I don't need to tell you that we all handle anger differently," Eustace replied. "But Joseph, the difference between you and Nathan is this. He dealt with it head on and then decided what he was going to do about it. He had a hard time of it, but ..."

"And I'm drawing it out," Joseph interjected.

"You've come to be very comfortable with your anger. You've been using it to keep from dealing with your issues with your family."

"I know that!" Joseph snapped. "So what are we going to do about it?"

"I am going to help you deal with your problems," Eustace replied. "You are going to do the work. Shall we get started?"

******

Lainie sat in the very front of the class. She didn't want to miss a word. It was crunch time. Every grade counted and she as determined to maintain her four point zero grade point average. She had gotten an internship at a firm called Richardson and associates and she hoped that they would keep her on after she passed the BAR exam.

Her first day would be in a week and she was excited. While it was by no means the biggest firm in town, it was very highly regarded. She had done her research and decided that she could have done much worse. What impressed her was that the firm as small as it was, was growing and that it had three areas of practice- criminal law, corporate law and pro bono. 

None of the other firms had that and from what she could see, Richardson's was successful on all fronts. She researched the firm at great length and was surprised to see that there was only one other partner- Winston Marshall. She had wondered about that and then dismissed it as irrelevant. Maybe she would be the next partner. What did surprise her was that all of the lawyers at the firm were expected to take one pro bono case per year. New hires started out in the pro bono department and were expected to be there for no less than a year. She didn't like that but she would deal with it. 

Next she researched the owner of the firm. Joseph Richardson. She had stared at the picture of him for a good long time taking in his blond good looks. He looked much too young to own his own firm. 

"His family must be loaded," she murmured. But that didn't explain the high success rate of the firm. She applied for the position and was surprised at the quick response. She interviewed a few days later and was hired in.

After she got the position, she called her parents ready to justify her decision to go to work. They surprised her by congratulating her. The one thing that they wouldn't budge on was their continued financial support of her.

"Save your money for a nicer apartment," her mother said. 

Lainie argued but to no avail. In fact, she had no plans of moving after she graduated. She had come to love her neighborhood and the people who lived around her. There was no point in mentioning that now, it would only set off another long discussion that she wasn't prepared to have.




Joseph Ch. 02



She turned her attention to the back of the board when Professor Rizzo walked in. Many didn't like him or the way that he taught, but Lainie did. He was a hard instructor who expected his students to know the law. He cut no breaks unless it was something like a death in the family. It hadn't taken her long to realize something else. He liked being challenged. His wrinkled but chiseled face lit up when a student dared to argue with him. Lainie made a point of arguing with him every chance she got even when she knew that she would lose the argument. Every so often he would actually concede defeat. He would appear angry, but Lainie always saw the twinkle in his eyes. The lecture was over before she knew it. As she packed up, Professor Rizzo walked up to her and waited for her to look up at him.

"Have you applied for an internship anywhere?" he asked.

"Yes," Lainie replied curious as to why he was interested.

"May I ask with whom?"

"Richardson and associates," Lainie replied. "They're small but very successful..."

"I know who they are," Professor Rizzo interrupted. "Would you consider taking another offer?"

Lainie stared at him for a few seconds before responding.

"Whose firm?"

"Mine," he replied. "Lainie, you have one of the finest minds that I've seen in a long time. You know your law and you know how to think outside of the box. You're also not afraid to argue your point even if it is wrong. I need people like you. After you graduate and pass the BAR I am prepared to hire you in as an associate. I'll match whatever Richardson is offering you as an intern plus add to it. We can discuss your pay and benefits as an associate once you pass the BAR."

Lainie was flabbergasted. She knew of Rizzo's firm and that they handled some very high profile cases. Interning there would definitely look good on her resume.

"I don't know what to say," she said softly.

"When do you start at Richardson's?" Rizzo asked.

"Next week..."

"You can always change your mind," Rizzo said and walked away leaving a perplexed Lainie alone in the classroom.

What to do? Lainie asked herself during the bus ride home. More money would be nice but she wouldn't have the opportunity to experience different parts of the law if she went with Rizzo. But then, she had no real interest in criminal law and if she wanted to do pro bono she was sure that Rizzo would let her. By the time she got home, she had made up her mind.

Immediately she sat down at her laptop and drafted an email.

"Dear Mr. Richardson and associates,

I sincerely appreciate the offer to intern at your firm but I must decline. I have opted to take a position with a firm that I believe to be a better fit. 

Thank you,

Lainie Nguyen

She reread the email and hit the send button. Then she sent an email to professor Rizzo accepting his offer and giving him the particulars of her deal with Richardson's. Afterwards, she had the vague feeling that she had just made a mistake. 

******

Joseph sat at his desk looking through his emails. Most of them weren't important but he read them anyway. There was always a chance that one that looked unimportant was in fact crucial. Near the bottom was the email from Lainie. He read it and reread it not understanding why he felt disappointed. He had never met her. He had very little to do with the hiring of interns or the ancillary staff. In fact, he didn't know that one was hired until he saw them. He wondered how it had even ended up in his email. He shrugged the feeling of disappointment off and prepared to leave for the day.

*****

Robert looked over in disgust at the sleeping Lucinda. He had only stayed because he had no place else to go and he didn't have to work. The novelty of being a kept man had long worn off but not enough that he wanted to find a job and his own place. He simply had it too good. All he had to do was fuck Lucinda silly and the rest was gravy. 

As he lay there, he began to think about Lainie and her perfect life. As always he got angry at his own stupidity. If he had played his cards right, he and Lainie would be married and living off of her parent's money. Once Lainie finished school, he would be living off of her money. Of course he would have had to work or at least be in school, but that would have been temporary.

He turned away from Lucinda unable to look at her anymore. He no longer saw the beautiful woman of three years before. What he saw was a harpy who was now demanding marriage. He didn't want to marry her or anyone else for that matter with the exception of Lainie if he could. Even that would have been for strictly mercenary reasons. 

Lucinda let out a soft snore and then a fart. This wasn't a new thing but yet it bothered him immensely. He got out of bed, went to the bathroom closing the door softly behind him. He hoped that Lucinda slept through the shower. He didn't want to come up for a reason not to fuck her in the shower. He looked down at himself. Even though he didn't want her in the shower with him, he was rock hard. He closed his eyes as he wrapped his hand around his cock and thought about the first time he had taken Lainie.

* 

They had been dating for a month before she would even allow him to cup her breast in his hand. He had been irritated but hid it well. The thing that helped was that after a date with Lainie, he went to see one of the girls that gave it up without a fight. He moved slowly with Lainie knowing that the wait would be worth it. 

It was another month before he could slip his hand up her skirt and then another month before she would bare her top. All the time he whispered that he loved her and that she was the only one. He played upon her naiveté about men in general and before long she was letting him suck on her nipples while he massaged her mound through her panties. As of yet she had made no move to touch him. He took her hand and put it on his throbbing cock.

"See what you do to me baby?" he murmured against her ear. "That is for you. No one touches it except for you. "Rub it baby. Make me feel good."

She had hesitated but then began to rub him. He didn't know if it was because she was inexperienced, but it felt better than anything had in a long time. He directed her until he came in his pants.

"That was good," he assured her. "Now it's your turn."

He sucked on her small nipples and slipped a finger into the side of her panties. He grinned when she gasped when his finger touched her clit.

"Like that?" he asked around her nipple and then flicking his tongue across it.

Her breathing told him that she did. He sucked on her nipple harder as he slipped a finger deep inside of her. So tight he thought to himself as he gently moved the finger in and out of her. He could hardly wait to put his cock inside of her.

"Robert," Lainie moaned as she felt the first orgasm of her life approaching.

"It's alright baby," he soothed. "I've got you and you're going to feel real good. Trust me."

And she did. Lainie relaxed and allowed the orgasm to take over. After that night, she was ripe for the picking.

*

Robert yanked on his cock at the memory and then stopped. He hadn't thought about those times in years and he wanted to enjoy the memory. A moment later, he was stroking himself to the memory of the first time he had entered Lainie's virgin body.

*

He had taken her to his house. No one was home and wouldn't be until late. They started as they usually did, with him kissing her until she was asking for more. Over the months she had changed. She had become more assertive (his term) and said that she was ready for the next step. By this time her parents had forbidden her to see him but she was hooked. Her grades remained good and she had become the accomplished liar.

"Where did you tell them you were going?" he murmured against her neck.

"Study group," she replied cuddling closer to him. "Remind me to call them in a few minutes."

"Call now," Robert replied between kisses on her neck. "I plan to be very busy in a few minutes."

He watched as Lainie made the call and smiled. Little Lainie wasn't as perfect her parents thought. After the phone call, he stripped and let Lainie see him in all of his naked glory. He took a moment to thank his father who taught him all that he knew about making a woman come.

"You make her come and the bitch is yours," he had said repeatedly.

He had been right; Robert thought he looked at Lainie who was now undressing. She had long gotten over her nervousness about being naked in front of him.

"Lay down baby, I've got a special treat for you."

Lainie did as she was told. Robert got between her legs and grinned at her before bending his head and taking a long, slow swipe at her clit. He felt her tense and then relax as he did it again and again until she was raising her hips in search of his mouth. He spread her vaginal lips, took her clit between his lips and sucked. He heard her calling his name as she came on his tongue. He kept sucking and licking until he coaxed another orgasm from her.

At the end of the second orgasm, Robert climbed on top of Lainie and eased the head of his cock in. 

"Do it," Lainie breathed. "Just do it."

He didn't need to be told twice. Robert gave one hard push and broke through her barrier. She cried out in pain but didn't stop him. Even if she had wanted him to, he couldn't and wouldn't have stopped. All too soon it was over. He remained seated inside of her, relishing the tightness wrapped around his cock. Then he remembered that he hadn't used a condom. There was a momentary panic that turned into an idea. If she were to get pregnant her parents would demand that he marry her hence...

"Was I okay?" a soft voice asked interrupting his thoughts.

"Yes baby, you were perfect," he replied as he rolled off of her. "So perfect in fact that I want to do it again. How about you?" he asked not really caring whether she wanted to or not.

By the time the evening was over, they had sex or fucked as Robert called it three more times. Each of those times was without the use of protection. Whether the thought crossed Lainie's mind or not he didn't know nor did he care. As much as he hated her and her family, she had become a way out of his current life. If there had to be a kid in order to make that happen; then so be it.

*

He was about to come when he heard Lucinda's reproachful voice on the other side of the shower curtain.

"Shit!" he moaned as the curtain opened and Lucinda stepped into the shower.

"Let me help you with that," she said as she dropped to her knees.

Robert closed his eyes as he slid into Lucinda's waiting mouth. As she sucked and licked, Robert imagined that it was Lainie and her first time sucking him off. He came with his head thrown back and a bellow. He was barely conscious that he was holding Lucinda's head in place as he pumped wildly into her mouth. When he was through, he released her and stepped out of the shower without reciprocating the favor. She would have to get over it. He had plans to make.

*

Lainie showed up at Rizzo, Santini and associate's bright and early. She was forty five minutes early since she had to take public transportation. While she waited she filled out all of the necessary paperwork, signed it and handed it back in. She didn't miss the snide and angry way that the receptionist looked at her. After trying and failing to initiate a conversation, Lainie gave up. She looked around the plush, expensively decorated office and felt unsettled. Instead of questioning why she felt that way, she attributed it to nerves and excitement.

Her mind had just begun to wander toward...

"You must be Lainie," a soft tenor voice said. "I'm Marcus Santini -Mr. Rizzo's partner."

"Hello," Lainie said as she stood up. She had to look up at the man speaking to her. He was handsome but in her estimation- too handsome. There wasn't a hair out of place, his hands were immaculately groomed and his suit probably cost more than the rent on her house.

"I've heard nothing but excellent things about you," Marcus said as he extended his hand. "According to Lou, you're the brightest student he's seen in a long time. Welcome aboard."

"Thank you," Lainie replied accepting the offered hand. "I'm hoping to learn a lot here."

"Interning is a thankless job, but you will learn; that I can promise you. I assume that you've met Arlene?"

"Yes we've met," Lainie replied looking at the woman who was glaring at her.

"Good, Arlene would you please show Lainie where to put her things and give her a quick tour of the building? I can take care of the phones."

Lainie could tell that Arlene wasn't happy with the idea and wanted to object. Instead she plastered on a fake smile and stood up.

"Let's go, shall we?" she asked with forced cheerfulness.

She strode past Lainie without really looking at her. When Lainie caught up to her, she was ignored-until they were behind closed doors.

"Look here," Arlene said coldly. "I'm going to give you the same talk I give to every pretty young thing that walks through these doors. I don't give a rat's ass that Mr. Rizzo thinks that you're the cat's meow. If you go anywhere near Mr. Santini, I will find a way to get rid of you. Got it?"

Lainie blinked in surprise at the attack and understood the woman's attitude toward her. She was in love with Mr. Santini and sentiment didn't seem to be returned. Lainie waited until Arlene was done talking and tried to reassure her that she was there to work and learn.

"Listen, I'm not here to tramp on your or anyone else's toes. I'm here to work and learn. Mr. Santini is yours- I'm not interested."

"That's what they all say at first," Arlene snapped.

The feeling that she had made a mistake in accepting the position with Rizzo returned. But she was stuck. She was almost positive that the intern position at Richardson's was gone. She had no choice but to stay where she was and stay out of Arlene's way.

"I swear to you," Lainie said holding her hands up in surrender. "I have no interest in him or anyone else for that matter. I have a boyfriend." The lie slipped out before she thought about it. She felt guilty and then relieved as she saw Arlene relax.

"What's his name?" 

"Oh it's... Robert," Lainie replied saying the first name that came to her mind. Later she would wonder why she chose that name.

The rest of the tour passed in a more amicable manner. Arlene became more pleasant, animated even but Lainie didn't trust her. She would have to watch her back. By the time they got back to the front office, Mr. Rizzo had arrived. Arlene was acting like her new best friend and Lainie played along.

By noon, she was back on the bus and headed home. Two hours later, she decided that there was some merit to what her parents said about her having a car. 

"You don't have to drive it all of the time," her father said softly, "but there will be nights when you will be late and the idea of you taking the bus at night disturbs me."

Lainie argued that she had always taken the bus with no issues and that a car wasn't necessary.

"This is true," her father agreed, "but you know that I have never liked the idea. Now I must insist that you have a car."

The argument ended with Lainie promising to think about it. Now she was seriously considering it. The thing was that her father would want her to have a brand new car. She knew what he would say.

"It is a graduation gift from me and your mother. Please accept it as such."

She would argue with him-and lose. The only question was what kind of car she would get and when. As soon as she got home, she called her parents and told them about her decision. They planned to fly in the following weekend to go car shopping.

That conversation over, Lainie changed into more comfortable clothes and settled in for a night of studying. She sat at her desk and began to read. Somewhere along the way, her mind drifted to the past.

*

She could still remember the first time she laid eyes on Elliot Robert Mitchum. To her he was like the ultimate dessert that she would and could never have. He was tall, good looking and definitely out of her league. She was nothing like the girls that he surrounded himself with. She was pretty but not glamorous. She didn't wear designer clothing although her family could afford it- she just wasn't interested. She was quiet and surrounded herself with people similar to her. She was near the top of her class scholastically and all she did was concentrate on her grades.

She was invited to a few parties but never attended especially when she found out what happened at the parties. More than one girl ended up pregnant after going to a party, getting drunk and then having sex with several of the boys. She wanted no part of it and soon earned the reputation as a snob. That's why when Robert spoke to her, "I haven't seen you here before," she was shocked. 

She had heard that he sometimes went to the parties but he always wore protection. Little by little he had worn her down until she agreed to go out with him-providing her parents agreed. As Robert integrated himself more and more into her life, she had less and less time for her real friends. The girls that surrounded Robert gradually accepted her and began giving her tips on how to do her hair. Deep down Lainie knew that they weren't sincere and that they weren't her true friends but it felt good all the same.

One day, one of her friends pulled her aside.

"Lainie what are you doing with them?" he asked. "That guy is a jerk and a scumbag and he's using you."

"No he isn't!" Lainie protested.

"Yes he is," Brad replied. "I hear the talk in the locker room. His only goal is to get inside your pants..."

"You're just jealous!" Lainie snapped.

"No... you're wrong, well- I may be a little jealous, but Lainie; I'm your friend and I care about you. He doesn't...

Lainie walked off not giving Brad a chance to finish. Years later she would often wish that she had let him finish. She couldn't say that she would have believed him, but maybe something would have stuck her as true.

"Hindsight is twenty-twenty," she muttered under her breath and went back to her memory.

Brad and another one of her friends had tried one more time to get her to see reason but she had turned a deaf ear. Soon after that, her old friends stopped talking to her. Robert's friends had become her friends. She began writing his papers for him helping him to pull his grades up. Her attitude toward her parents had begun to change. She no longer saw them as caring about her; she saw them as controlling her. They forbade her to see Robert- something in her mind they had no right to do. She was a junior in high school and smart enough to make her own decisions- so she thought. She hadn't been aware of how much she was listening to Robert and his friends. That realization wouldn't occur until her senior year.

During her junior year, she became the one thing that her parents despised- a liar. The more she did it, the less guilt she felt and the easier it became. It wasn't long before she could look her parents in the face and lie without blushing. The one thing that kept her secrets safe was that she maintained her grades. By the end of her junior year; Robert's senior year she was sneaking away every chance she got. There were a few close calls, but she didn't get caught until the middle of her senior.

At this memory, Lainie closed her eyes and pushed it away. It was simply too painful of a memory. She wiped tears away from her eyes. She forced herself to think about something else. What came to mind was her new job. The feeling that she had made a mistake was back and even stronger than before. She thought about calling to see if the position at Richardson's had indeed been filled. The only thing that stopped her was pride. She wasn't about to renege on her agreement with Rizzo and then go crawling back to Richardson's because she had screwed up.




Joseph Ch. 02



"Put on your big girl panties and deal with it," she grumbled as she turned her attention back to the books in front of her. Before long she was reading about a controversial case and was lost in deciding how she felt about it.

****

Robert was dressed and out of the door before Lucinda was out of the shower. He left the house and went to his favorite place to think- the bar. It was relatively early. The after work crowd hadn't started to come in yet. He looked around and chose a table far in the back. He didn't want to be disturbed while he thought about what he was going to do. The one thing that he had learned to do well was to plan. He had learned his lesson well after the debacle with Lainie's family. The anger and humiliation that he had felt then rose as if it had just happened.

He tamped it down. He had to think logically if he had any chance of getting back in to Lainie's good graces. As he began to plan, something occurred to Elliot Robert Mitchum. He was and had been to some degree in love with Lainie. He hated her, but he loved her too. He hated her family and what they could give her, but he wanted it too. For the briefest of moments, he felt guilty for what he wanted to do. The guilt disappeared as soon as Lucinda walked into the bar looking for him.

First thing, he decided was that he had to clean his shit up. That meant no more spending the days and evenings at the bar. It meant that he had to get a job and hold on to it. It also meant that he had to get out of Lucinda's house but not before he used her money to buy a new wardrobe and he had saved enough money to get his own place.

The only thing that would blow him out of the water was if Lainie had gotten married. The other thing he realized was that her father would never allow him within a hundred feet of her. He had some major bridges to repair there. He cursed the stupidity of his youth and continued to plan.

Lucinda sat at the table and glared at him.

"What the fuck was that?" she demanded angrily.

"Sorry babe," Robert said sounding contrite. "I had something on my mind, but I promise to make it up to you."

He meant it as much as he could mean anything and reminded himself to keep his eyes on the big picture. If he made her come enough, she would give him her credit card no questions asked. Suddenly he was hard. It was time to go to work.

******

Joseph remained perplexed as to why he was so annoyed that the intern had changed her mind. He took the time to research her and was doubly annoyed when he saw that she would have been a good fit for the firm. He looked at her picture taking in her small features and the exotic look the Asian part of her gave her. 

"Beautiful," he murmured and then caught himself. He considered all women regardless of their size, shape, color or age beautiful. They were to be protected and not harmed as his male relatives had done. It came to him that maybe it was that thought that was the crux of the matter. Why he remained so angry with his family. He looked at Lainie's picture once more and logged off of the computer. A thought began to niggle at the back of his mind and unbeknownst to him, he did the same thing Ethan did when he raped Katrina; he ignored it.

He turned his attention to Winston's party. The trial was now over and plans were fully underway. So far no one had let the secret out although Joseph was sure that Winston knew that something was up. As is summoned, Winston appeared in his doorway.

"I want to talk to you about something," he said as he took a seat.

Joseph looked at the tall, dark skinned vampire and nodded. In many ways, Winston reminded him of Eustace Matthews in that he was very direct in what he wanted and didn't mince words.

"What's on your mind?" Joseph asked hoping it wasn't about his attitude.

"I want to run the criminal law department full time," Winston said without hesitation. 

"Agreed," Joseph replied relieved that he wasn't the topic of conversation. "It's yours. Hire whatever staff that you need."

"You know," Winston said after a shorty pause, "I really hate surprises."

"Is there a surprise being planned?" Joseph asked innocently.

"Joseph Richardson," Winston said firmly. "You don't lie any better than you pretend to be happy. I know you. We practically grew up together."

"I'm fine," Joseph replied. "Alright, I was going to have a surprise party announcing that I'm making you a full partner. It's something that I should have done a long time ago. The party is this weekend and your mate already knows. Now can you at least pretend to be surprised?"

"I can do that," Winston replied and then hesitated. 

"What?" Joseph asked bracing himself. So far Winston had been the only one that hadn't said anything to him about his anger issues. He had a feeling that was about to change.

"You know that I consider you a brother don't you?" Winston asked.

"I know that and I consider you my brother as well," Joseph replied warily.

"I know that there have been...issues and I haven't asked about it," Winston continued. "I just want you to know that you can talk to me about anything at any time."

Joseph waited for more and was relieved when Winston fell silent.

"Thank you for that and thank you for not joining the 'you got issues' club.

"Oh I am a member of the club," Winston said with a small smile. "I'm just a silent member. At least I was until now. I don't plan on saying anything more about it unless you come to me or I see that it's affecting you and the firm in a negative way. To be honest, there were a couple of times that I was about to approach you but then you pulled it together. But I meant what I said. I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to or even just to kick back with. How long has it been since we did that?"

"Too long," Joseph agreed and then grinned. "Why don't we plan a guy's night at my place? We can play cards, watch ESPN... pretend to get drunk... what do you think?"

"I like it," Winston replied. "Just say when.

"Sometime after your surprise party," Joseph replied for once feeling truly happy. 

They talked for a few more minutes before Winston excused himself. Joseph leaned back in his chair and smiled. He logged on to his laptop and began to send an email to Nathan. Then he added several more names to the email not realizing that as he typed the names, the usual anger that he felt didn't rise.

*****

Robert kissed Lucinda and thanked her for the use of her credit cards although he didn't mean it. As far as he was concerned, it was payment for services rendered. In some ways he was going to miss the free ride that he had, but it was time to move on to fresher pastures. Lucinda had wanted to go shopping with him but he had persuaded her to go out with her friends. The reality of it was that he didn't want her to see what he bought.

The next step was to start looking for a job. Any money that he made would be his and if he found a good enough paying job, he could be in his own place in a few months. 

"A few months," he grumbled under his breath. And then he had to be able to maintain it. Suddenly, things didn't seem so cut and dried. The idea of actually going to work grated on his nerves. Something inside of him told him that he should stay where he was living high on the hog on Lucinda's money. All he had to do was fuck her whenever she wanted him to and go places with her. It wasn't a hard life. It was a life that his father had dreamed of but had never achieved.

But... he wanted Lainie. He told himself that it was only because of what he thought that she could do for him. It was exactly what Lucinda was doing for him but in his mind it was different. He took a mental step back and reevaluated his plan. There was no rush. If his calculations were right, Lainie had another year of school unless she graduated early which could be a good thing. Still though, he had to make contact and he couldn't look like a bum. Lucinda made sure that he was dressed, but this was going to be for that bitch Lainie.

From that moment on, that was how he would refer to her- the bitch. It seemed to help him focus on what he wanted and not how he really felt about her. Instead of using the laptop at the house, Robert went to an internet café to do his research on Lainie. He couldn't prove it, but he was sure that Lucinda had the laptops at the house monitored. It wouldn't do for her to find out that he was looking up an old girlfriend if Lainie could be considered a girlfriend.

He found a booth in a corner and logged in. He checked his email for anything of consequence and then Googled Lainie's name. There wasn't much, but then he hadn't expected there to be. He was right about when she would graduate so he did have time. Next he typed in her parent's name. His hope was that her father would dead. Her mother he could tolerate but her father...

"Damn," he swore as he read the articles about Lainie's parents. 

They were even more loaded than they were before. They were writing books! Lainie's father hadn't liked him before and he wouldn't like him now unless he presented himself differently. He had to get Lainie to accept him first. It then occurred to him that if that happened, he didn't need the approval from her father. The Lainie that he remembered was stubborn and once she had an idea in her head; it was difficult to change it. He still had to get a job-preferably a professional one, but Lucinda could help with that. She had contacts all over the place. He logged off and instead of going shopping as he had originally planned; he went to the bar. Sobriety could wait. He had time.

****

By the time Lainie's parents were gone, she had a new wardrobe for work, a manicure and a white 2013 Nissan Versa. She balked at the purchase of a new car arguing that all she needed was something to get her from point A to point B.

"You are getting a new car," her father said with her mother's full support. "If you want to consider it a loan you may but I will tell you now that we will accept no money from you."

Lainie started to argue but gave up. She knew that tone and look on her father's face all too well. 

"Thank you papa," she said hugging him and then her mother.

"You are welcome, now shall we drive your car home?"

As she drove home with her mother in the front seat, Lainie again thanked god that he had given her such wonderful people for parents. Again, Robert's name came to mind but this time there was a feeling of dread that came with the memory. Somehow- she knew that she would see him again. She looked back at her father who sat in the back seat smiling at her. Lainie returned the smile ignoring the feeling of nausea that was settling in the pit of her stomach. She had had that feeling before and she both feared and abhorred it. She looked over at her mother and the feeling dissipated but only slightly.

"Please god," she silently prayed. "Please- not them."