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Choices and Sacrifices

By: CoCoNiy101



Hey everyone! I think I'm officially back to writing. It's so weird how much I miss having comments to read on here! I've still been actively reading and rating on lit, but it's different to post your own work. So this is the introduction to my new series! There is an actual plot to this, so that's new for me. But I hope it turns out how I planned and you all enjoy!

2002

Keegan packed up the last of his things. A long, thin brown dread fell into his eyes while he closed up a box. He managed to tuck it behind the others and continue his act of finally moving on. He sighed deeply and stared out the window with a smirk on his lips. It all seemed so surreal. He never thought he'd be old enough to be free from what was his home. The shackles of his extended adolescence had suddenly been undone. He looked around his room and groaned at the hideous green-blue that had made it so difficult to make love to any woman who stepped foot inside that hadn't been his mother. He thrusted the full box up into his arms and strolled the last of his belongings out the front door. His mom stood to the side with her hand shielding her quivering lips. He didn't pay much attention to her though, his excitement was something all consuming. Her tears of sadness were nothing in comparison. He couldn't get himself to feel any sort of empathy for her.

Keegan returned to say his goodbyes after loading the last box into his old Honda Accord. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his cargo shorts and felt the awkwardness pressing itself against the smooth surface of his body. He already knew it's source; his father was watching him. He stood in the kitchen, trying to project his skepticism onto him. But Keegan's inner feelings were a shield from his gaze. His father wouldn't make him feel bad for moving 500 miles away. He wouldn't allow it.

"I should get going." He said quietly, enveloping his mother into a snug embrace. She sniffled onto his black tee-shirt and held onto him tightly. Her arms were strangling his hips, which was as high as her arms could reach. Keegan kissed the top of her curly blonde hair and settled into her hold a little more, sensing their goodbye gesture would be lasting longer than expected.

"Cindy, the boy's gotta' go." His father announced in a sighing quality. His mother finally let him go, reluctantly. He kissed her cheek once more before strolling into the kitchen. His dad's grey eyes bore into his matching pair.

His dad gathered him into a brief, breath taking grip. It was no longer than 2 seconds—maybe Keegan was too accustomed to him mother's versions of a hug. But it didn't seem real. His heart wasn't it in and that hurt Keegan minimally. The sting in his chest was something he'd known all too well and he was habituated. His father cleared his throat and that caused Keegan to meet his eyes. To his surprise, he could spot a glint of sorrow in his face.

His habituation had ceased. The expression on his dad's—Harold's face was something he hadn't ever experienced. So its effects were foreign.

"Dad, I love you." Keegan told him, slapping him hard on his iron hard arm. He nodded and flexed his jaw instinctively.

"I love you too, son." He said in a whisper. Keegan's demeanor was morphing into something he never expected. It was time to get the hell out. He took large steps toward the front door and turned back to embrace his childhood home for the last time in awhile. He scanned over the leather couch and family photos. Those pictures could always make him smile, even during his roughest times. The cigarette smell lingered in the air from when his father would catch the smell on his clothes after going to the deck. He'd learned to love that smell and it often comforted him when he came home.

"I love you mom." Keegan announced once more, walking out the door. He jumped into the driver's seat of his car and started its engine. It came to life and suddenly so did he. He rolled down his windows to let in the Florida air and music played softly in the background. His mother waved with her hazel eyes straining to connect with his. His father stood motionless behind her and Keegan gave a light beep as he pulled down the street.

While he drove, small ranch homes like his turned into massive, luxury styled mansions. The embellishments were growing more extreme in correlation to each mile. The first time he'd visited this part of Florida, he'd been astounded. The lifestyles of those residents was something he could never dream of. But he'd luckily experienced a portion of it and found it wasn't all it'd seemed. He grew appreciative of his own home and family.

Keegan pulled up to Quincy's house. He was looking over the neighborhood from the balcony of his bedroom, three stories high. His toffee colored skin was sprinkled in a deep tan. He smiled and raced down to meet his best friend. He pecked his mom rapidly on the forehead and hugged her snugly when she opened the door for him. She watched him make his way toward the Honda. Keegan waved at his second mother and she gave him a warm smile.

"You get over here and give me a hug—you should know better." She scolded lightheartedly. Keegan chuckled and made his way toward her. He walked up the driveway instead of stomping over the soft deep green grass like Quincy had done. A hand brushed against the Mercedes Benz and Quincy's Jeep Wrangler. He was lucky enough to have all his things be shipped to their new apartment in Maryland along with his new car.

He reached Quincy's mother Denise and she withheld her arms. Keegan leaned in to give her a hug, similar to the one he'd just given his mother. The smell she carried was mouth watering. Her favorite perfume was a her signature scent.

Denise was small and beautiful. She had large breasts and a healthy bottom that Keegan had a hard time prying his eyes away from when he was younger. As time grew on, he'd learned to control himself better. He was almost certain she was the reason for his attraction to black women.

"Take care of each other, okay?" She said, running a smooth hand along the length of his forearm. Her smile forced her full lips to spread and her cheekbones to rise. Keegan nodded in response. She was stealing his breath so speaking wasn't an option.

Denise held back a laugh when Keegan's cheeks flushed a deep red. He was such a sweetheart, he'd always been. His innocence and kind heart was something she admired in him. It was something she wanted Quincy to acquire.

*

"Jesus Q, how long are you going to keep getting allowances?" Keegan was finding himself irritated. He clenched the stirring wheel a little tighter and took in a stocky breath.

Quincy's spoiled way of life hadn't ever gotten to Keegan. He never felt any sort of jealousy or self-pity when in his company. Quincy was carefree which was sometimes great and refreshing after Keegan had spent a whole night with his parents or in his dorm studying. This summer, they'd hung out in his room, ordering copious amounts of pay-per-view movies and Dominos pizza. They'd throw unlimited amounts of money in strip clubs and got women's attention when they bought the whole club a drink. Life was easy when in Quincy's company. But aside from the money, Quincy was still everything Keegan could ask for in a friend.

"It's fine, only for a few months." Quincy replied, opening a bag of Doritos they'd just picked up. Keegan rolled his eyes at the road.

"The purpose of this move is to become independent." Denise and his mom would be sure to talk within the next few days. If his mom found out Quincy was getting weekly allowances put into his bank account, his dad would never let it go. Especially knowing that Quincy wouldn't think twice about sharing his money with his best friend. Keegan gave Quincy a saddened glance.

"We will be. I'm still getting that job and you'll be writing. Chill out." The sound of crunching chips filled the car and Keegan let the topic go, there was nothing he could do. Quincy was as much of an adult as he was. So he had a right to do as he pleased, regardless of the fact it didn't sit right with Keegan.

"Did you break up with Bethany?" Quincy asked. Keegan exhaled nosily, sharing his feelings on the topic with that one sound. The thought of hearing those hard sobs were spine chilling. He didn't expect her to cry so much, especially considering they'd only been together 2 months. She begged him to stay or even try something long distance. He honestly didn't want to, but he felt compelled to say yes.

"I told her—" Quincy's groan cut his sentence in half.

"Please, do not fucking tell me you agreed to a long distance relationship." His eyes could be felt. Keegan chuckled in disbelief with himself after hearing his situation spoke aloud. Holy shit he was stupid.

"It was like she was mourning my death! I couldn't say I wouldn't try, I couldn't." Keegan replied. A flash of a few days ago when he'd spent his last day with her filled his mind and soon he was ghost driving. He remembered how distant she was the whole night. He was lying in her bed and she was looking him right in his eyes. He told her he was leaving a few weeks before, when he'd finalized his contract with his publishing agent.

He pecked her lightly on her pale lips and her green eyes glimmered. Within an instant she broke out into a loud wail. Her eyelids were wrinkled and a frown was plastered on her lips. Strings of spit connected the two unmoving lips together. Keegan tried to console her as much as he could but it did nothing to put her at ease. After a few more minutes of her tears, she calmed enough to speak.

"I love you Keegan. It'll be hard but I think we can make it." She sniffled. Keegan's heart stopped beating but it could be heard soundly in his ears. Hadn't he been clear about his intentions? He looked around the room where their clothes were scattered over every inch of the floor. He looked down on Bethany and saw her naked body twisted into the mess of sheets. No, he hadn't been clear.

"I don't think a long distance relationship would work out." He whispered. Her body jerked to life toward the completion of his sentence. The declaration of a breakup had changed her mood. She snuggled closer toward him and put a hand against his jaw. Her powerful eyes were pleading with his. Their faces were inches apart and she shook her head lightly.

"Promise me we'll try. I love you." She repeated again. A hint of indignation bled through her words as she tried to get across her love for him. It amazed him how she was already so comfortable with those 3 letters. Keegan however, was less eager to respond to them. He didn't feel the same way despite the fact that he wanted to. Just so he could understand her slight obsession with him a little better than he did now. But right now, it was creeping him out.

"I love you." She changed her tone fluctuations with intentions that it'd convince him she meant them. It seemed to only back him into a corner further away from an exit.

"I'll try." He whispered. His eyebrows were pushed together into a tight line of freaked out confusion. This wasn't the same girl he'd met at his part time job at a cafe. He had no idea what he'd gotten himself into.

"Keeg." Quincy said, regaining Keegan's attention.

"Yeah?"

"You know she's crazy as hell, right?" He asked. Keegan couldn't help his smirk. Quincy laughed heftily.

"She isn't crazy... she's in love." Keegan announced, coming to the aid of his absent girlfriend. Love itself could seem like a mental illness to an outsider. But to the host of the 'disease' it was completely normal. They'd downplayed their situation to convince themselves calling someone 20 times an hour was acceptable.

"Same thing." Quincy replied with a mouth full of chips. That, he could agree with. The two words were interchangeable, especially in relation to Bethany.

"Your mom seemed indifferent about you leaving..." Keegan changed the subject off of himself and onto something else after the 5th minute of silence. Quincy sighed deeply. Keegan knew he'd have a hard time being so far away from his mom, as that was who he'd grown the most comfortable with.

"She cried all last night." He sounded so sullen. Keegan felt horrible for bringing the topic up.

"My mom cried too. She cried this morning mostly. It was hard to leave her."

*

They arrived at their little apartment in Annapolis, Maryland around 9 o'clock at night. Keegan drove the first 6 hours, and Quincy took them to the apartment. The hours flew by while the two grew too immersed with the other's company. They talked about high school experiences the other had forgotten, girlfriends the other dated and their long and adventurous summer nights.

Keegan opened their front door and smiled to himself. The apartment was small, there was no denying it. The living area was the size of his old bedroom and was linked to a tiny kitchenette looking space. It was as small as something you'd get in a hotel. There was hardly any space for cooking and a microwave would have to be purchased if they had any intentions of living.

In face of all of that, Keegan still smiled. His smile was a symbol of his future. It signified the brightened life that was ahead. His emancipation from criticism and judgment was apparent within the walls of this new dwelling. Happiness exuded from his surroundings and he welcomed it all with open arms. Keegan couldn't remember a time where he'd been any more content.

"This is a piece of shit." Quincy complained. Keegan wasn't fazed by his complaints. He had no intentions on spending their first month in this apartment without hearing at least 50 more. For Quincy, it was all a matter of adjusting and settling. Both would take some time for him.

"It's our piece of shit." Keegan said, smiling at him before setting a box on the ground. It was filled with their most important items, including a king size blow up bed for tonight. They'd be living on nothing for awhile.

*

Writing was becoming so difficult for Keegan lately. He'd sit and sit for hours and sweep his mind of empty ideas. He couldn't flow as effortlessly as he used to. He could think of plenty of emotions for his characters to convey without it straining his imagination. But now, he couldn't write a word without second guessing himself. He sighed and hunched himself over the bulky laptop.

To get his mind off of his realized failure, he picked up his small cell and dialed a number he knew by heart. It rang a few times and he idly played with a loose piece of carpet beside his barefoot. A sweet voice answered the phone which instinctively brought a smile to his lips. Keegan suddenly took in just how much he missed his mother.

"Keegan? How are you honey? Everything okay?" He chuckled on the other end.

"I'm fine mom. We're okay." He said sturdily, putting her worrying to rest. She seemed to exhale nosily and a tiny silence fell between them as the mood changed.

"I miss you already." She whispered timidly. Keegan grunted in displeasure. It was hard to hear things like that from her, especially when he knew he'd be gone for awhile. He knew she was hurting.

"Mom—"The groaning quality of his voice let off his emotions. He didn't want every phone call to be centered on the fact that he wasn't home. It wasn't healthy for either of them, especially not her.

"Sorry—I'm sorry." She heaved a sigh. "You started writing yet?" She asked. Keegan stole a glance at his screen saver which communicated the dormancy of his writing.

"Not yet. I've been trying for the past couple hours but it just isn't flowing." He admitted. Confiding in his mom always seemed too easy. It was one of the many things he loved most about her. They were connected by the brain and reading the other was effortless.

"Just take a break honey... Where's Quincy?" She asked.

"He went to his training today for the accounting position. He's supposed to be starting officially soon." Keegan announced, happy that he had some promising information to send his mother. Which essentially meant his father would be hearing of it soon.

"That's great. It sounds like you boys are doing okay then..." She trailed off, giving them an awkward moment of silence.

"Yeah, we are. I'll come down as soon as I get settled." He promised.

"You better..." A beeping on the other line caught his attention.

"Mom, it's my other line. I think it might be Quincy. I'll call you back." Keegan said. When she agreed to his promise, he switched over.

"Q?" He asked immediately assuming it was his best friend. But he'd guessed wrong and the voice that rang in his ear caught him off guard.

"No sweetheart." It was Bethany. Keegan's stomach dipped lower in his ribs and he swallowed hard. Her voice was poison to his eardrum.

"Hey. What's up?" He asked it as if she didn't have a right to call whenever for no apparent reason. But she did. Keegan had given her all the rights when he agreed to try a long distance relationship. He internally beat himself up for falling into her pretty helpless eyes—they were a trap. He constantly fell victim to their persuasion.

"Not much... Just calling to see how things are going." She said idly.

"Oh okay. Well I was just trying to get some writing done, but I was having a hard time getting my thoughts down." He explained, trying to fill the phone call with some substance.

"That sucks. But on a better note I'm doing pretty well with my flight ticket money so I might make it up there in a few months." She'd sounded so excited. Keegan felt like such an asshole for not sharing the same emotions. Especially when he knew how tight her money was as a waitress with student loans.

"Beth, don't rush to get the ticket; I want to have more furniture and all that before I start inviting people over." Keegan tried to explain. Bethany huffed out in exasperation.

"You know I don't care. I'm fine with sleeping on the floor... I just want to see you." She went quiet over the receiver. "I miss you." She confessed suddenly.

Keegan looked to the ceiling for some sort of sign on what he should do. He didn't have anything similar to reply and he felt like less of a person because of it. How long would he have to keep this façade up before he was finally freed from his confines? Or would he finally fall in love with her the way this entire situation seemed to require him to. It was the heuristic ending to all his problems but still so hard to achieve.

"Alright... But how are you?" Keegan was now forcing himself to make small talk.

"I'm okay. The first few days after you left were rough but I'm doing better." How'd they end up talking about his absence again? Keegan shook his head in agitation and clenched his jaw.

"In a few more weeks you won't even remember my name." Keegan said. He prayed to God this would happen one day soon.

"That'll never happen, Keegan. I love you; I'd do anything for you." Bethany stated with an undoubted certainty. She was trying to convince him of something he unfortunately already knew.

"I know honey." He said quietly. He suppressed a sigh and closed his eyes momentarily with a hand cradling his forehead.

4 WEEKS LATER

Keegan managed to get a part time job at a library. He didn't mind being around the books; he loved to read. He loved reading almost as much as he enjoyed writing. Although checking out books and running at the sound of anyone's request wasn't his dream job, it was something. Quincy was at his accounting position within a few days of getting into town. Things were panning out nicely—slowly but nicely.

They were still sharing a blow up bed, but Keegan had plans of purchasing his own mattress within a few more paychecks. They shared Keegan's Honda until Quincy's jeep arrived. He had to be awake at 7 AM to escort Keegan to work while he didn't need to be awake until 9. They both were making sacrifices that were so far out of their normal comfort zones.


Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 02



Keegan pulled into his spot at the park. It wasn't as hot as it was yesterday, and he was thankful. He closed his door and ventured down the steps that led to the concrete trails. As he walked a few more feet along, he could see Sabrina. She was sitting on a bench in the distance. Sabrina's natural kinks were braided on either side of her head. Some sort of product made it shine, and it brought out her reddish-brown highlights. She wore a pair of spandex capris that accented her shapely legs. Her top was slouchy and lazily resting off her shoulder. Her legs were cross and a sneaker was gently swaying in the air. Her cute, upturned nose was cast downward at her companion. Venice sat flush against Sabrina's calf. Keegan noted how her eyes nervously darted around, in search of anything to be afraid of. A biker whirled passed and she noticeably retreated from the nearby trail from which the startling contraption rode on.

Sabrina tried to calm her down with some cooing words and a more comforting rub atop her head. Keegan could see how Sabrina could fall so hard for the animal. Its innocence and complete ignorance to the world would make anyone want to protect it. 

Sabrina's gaze rose when he approached them. Her mouth gapped the slightest bit when she took him in. He wore a Nike short sleeved shirt that led to defined forearms. The rips and cuts on his neck and collar were only taunting to what lied further below. His eyes were a beautifully lit grey and intently fixed on her. She had never been one to back away from a stare, but something about those eyes gave her no other option. His thin dreads were neat at the nape of his neck.

"Ready?" He asked quietly. Sabrina stood, the pink studded leash securely in her hand. Keegan's eyes ventured down toward Venice and he bent down to pet her. He slowly withdrew his hand right in her line of vision so she could see he was no threat. 

Sabrina looked down on him and he made a kind act sexy as hell. His long fingers were extended for a tender touch against her dog's fur. But the muscles on this lean man held her attention. One had rested languidly on his knee. The white smile he broadcasted when Venice finally settled into his tender touch made her loins quiver.

"She's really sweet." Keegan said, looking up to catch Sabrina's eye for a fraction of the sentence. He then leveled up to his full height and the two began walking. Keegan made sure that Sabrina and Venice walked on the outside, out of a biker's way if they happened to want to surpass them. They decided to take the easiest trail to avoid the large hill they had to surmount the day before. After 5 minutes of silence, Keegan spoke.

"How do you feel?" The over-exerted sigh she preformed seemed to convey all her emotions.

"I feel sore." Keegan looked at her briefly with a smirk. 

"That means you were doing it right." He replied, causing Sabrina to give him a hard eye roll.

"It also means I'll be doing it wrong for a long time—the rest of my life actually." Her comebacks always seemed to catch him off guard. They were so immediate and almost seemed instinctive. The only person he'd ever met in his lifetime to have this quality was her and his best friend Quincy. It never failed to put a smile on his lips.

"I'm tired of this trail." She said. Keegan gave her a weird look.

"What?" He asked incredulously. Did she want to go home already? His heart quickened as he thought of their small date being unpleasant. Had he done something?

"Let's walk the streets." She purposed, stopping dead in her tracks to face him head on. People angrily avoided their bodies by making a sharp turn around their small circle of three. 

"I left my wallet in the car but I—" Keegan turned to overlook just how much they'd walked. He was estimating how much time it'd take him to sprint it and return with his wallet in hand.

"We don't need money to walk." She said with a smile. The sentence portrayed so much about her character. Optimism and carelessness being his weakness in anyone, she had suddenly become the most attractive thing he'd ever seen. Keegan's mind fought his body and the battle was close. But soon his body had won. Without even thinking about it, he'd lunged for her lips. 

Sabrina's gasp was cut short as his hot mouth consumed hers. He gently fulfilled his desires and wrapped an arm about her waist. It took Sabrina a few seconds to respond. But when she did, Keegan could feel the difference. Her full flesh was moving enthusiastically against his and her hands even gripped the nape of his neck, beneath the curtain of locks. She embraced the warmth of his body and let herself physically express the attraction she had been keeping from him. Keegan's tongue entered her wet opening. He bumped against the light ridges of her braces and texture seemed to electrify him. His lips felt so good, she almost couldn't believe how brilliant of a kisser he was. The passion was just right, but he still transferred his lust without being sloppy. He wrapped his other arm against her upper half just as the leash in her grip scraped his neck.

Keegan's dreams were becoming an indescribable reality. He'd spent his entire night constantly thinking of her. The way her chest heaved after their run and the beads of sweat trailing down the valley of her breasts all kept him awake the night prior. Aside from her physical attributes, her personality left him wishing he was beside her, listening in on any amazingly told story she had to offer. Her joking, free-spirited demeanor was all a best friend could ask for. There would never be a dull moment when Sabrina's name was involved. 

Venice, not pleased with the flesh to flesh action, began growling lowly in her throat. Keegan slowly departed her lips and gazed into her eyes, not even caring about the dog's warning. Sabrina melted under his gaze and couldn't believe how he made her feel. Her stomach was churning in the most delightful way.

"Let's go." He said with a smirk. Her eyes were glazed over from their kiss and she looked like walking wouldn't be easy. She seemed shaken up. As if to coax her on, Keegan put her dainty hand in his. Her long, healthy nails were pressed firmly against the outside of his palm.

In order to get out of the park area without leaving through the parking lot exit, you had to ascend a slightly steep hill. It was bordered with shrubs and trees to put up a blockade for invaders or trespassers. Keegan effortlessly strode to the top and didn't notice his arm was straining behind him. His shoulder would damn near about to pop out of his socket if he took one more step forward.

"I'm hurting, give me a second." Sabrina said with humored annoyance. She took the hill at a steady pace until they reached the top. Keegan didn't miss the wince as she did so. 

They got to the top and it seemed like they entered a different world. A 3 lane road was right in front of them and they waited for their turn to cross. Cars zoomed by until a few got stopped by a red light. Still hand in hand, they strolled across the road at their own leisure. 

This part of the city was a busy one. There were restaurants and boutiques on every other corner. Tall poles held yellow lit lights and people walked busily around them. 

Sabrina glanced down on Venice just to check on her and she seemed fine. Keegan had once again made sure they were farthest away from the busy roads, and she seemed content with that. Sabrina stole a quick look at Keegan while they waited on the end of the sidewalk for the right-away. He attentively searched down the roads for an opportunity to walk across the one way street. His angular jaw was defined and masculine. A little stubble was growing in along it's curvature, but he still looked good. His dirty blonde hair added to his tanned skin and grey eyes. 

She smiled to herself, falling in a deep pit of admiration for the man. He was so statuesque yet it was easy to tell he owned a heart of gold. He saw past all her visible flaws and somehow had come attached to who she was. Sabrina too was finding herself immersed with his being. The lean, half smile he'd do when she said something slightly humorous was intriguing. She wished he'd sport it more often but exclusively for her.

"You alright? Am I walking too fast?" Keegan asked when they'd finally crossed the road. Sabrina looked into his worried eyes and gave him a reassuring glance.

"No, I'm fine." She said firmly. He grimaced down on her, putting deep cut dimples along his cheeks that she hadn't realized were there. Sabrina gulped hard.

They passed a tattoo shop on their journey to nowhere and Sabrina took a stare inside while Keegan led the way with her hand. With her eyes not needed to see where she was going, she caught a glimpse of some of the beautiful designs the store had to offer. Once it was out of view, she looked Keegan over. He didn't seem to have any evident tattoos. But she wasn't sure.

"You have any tattoos?" She asked. 

"No." His voice had a sighing quality. "I've always thought about getting a sleeve or something. But I want it to be extravagant." He finished. She looked him up and down; he'd look good with a sleeve. His muscled, lithe body adorned in some colorful art would definitely do him good. Especially with the neat dreads and artistic career path he was on.

"Extravagant costs money." She mumbled as if she was completing his sentence as to why he hadn't gotten them. She knew tattoos could be expensive, especially from great artists. She couldn't blame him for wanting it done right, or not at all.

"Exactly," He wasn't surprised she understood that. 

After a few more minutes, Keegan broke their silence streak. 

"What did you go to school for?" He remembered her talking about her college days in Rhode Island, but he couldn't quite peg what she might've gone for.

"Dental assisting." She replied. "I work there actually." Keegan caught her eyes and followed her gaze. A tall building peered over the others but was a little obscured by trees. It was just a few minutes away—15 while walking. 

"I work a few blocks from there." Keegan announced. Sabrina nodded knowingly.

"I know. I used to go to that library a long time ago." 

"You should come by and we can go to lunch." Sabrina tried her hardest to suppress the gleeful smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. But much to her disadvantage, it came full force. She stared straight ahead and attempted to remove the eagerness in her voice.

"That'd be nice." Keegan could feel her palms slicking under his. 

"What are you writing about?" Sabrina changed the subject in effort to slow down her racing heart. 

"I haven't had much more than a few pages down since I'd gotten here honestly." Keegan was beginning to get very behind in his schedule. If he kept up this pace, his book release would be set back more than two months. The library pay check could only support his end of the rent for so long. His plot was vague and no more than a few bland ideas. "But last night, I felt this strange urge to write about—" Keegan had cut himself off. He was losing himself in a daze as he realized the odds. After all these years of writing and outlining all of his thoughts for literary uses, he'd never once thought so much about the topic that had rushed him last night. After meeting Sabrina the day before, Keegan couldn't get the discomforting, mushy sentiments off his mind. The pulsating rhythm of his heart when his eyes aligned with hers, and how he always found himself paralyzed by her natural beauty; he felt like writing about it. He wanted to express his emotions through his fingers and he had. The first few pages of his story were centralized around a man meeting a woman.

"Myself." He concluded. If he were to really share his new topic, he'd be sure to scare her off. 

"That's great. Every successful author should have an autobiography published at some point in their lives." She replied nonchalantly. 

"My life isn't fascinating enough to pull that off." Keegan replied on a laugh.

"Tell me about it... on this bench because I'm tired." Sabrina dragged him toward a wooden bench perched on the sidewalk. Keegan sighed as he sat down. Venice panted lightly between her owner's legs. Sabrina rummaged in her cross over and pulled out a bottle of water.

"Did you bring something to drink?" She asked, looking him in his eyes. He shook his head minimally.

"I'm not thirsty." 

"I brought two, you can have this one." Sabrina announced. She put the chilled water between their thighs and retreated back in her bag to find the other. She cracked it open and bent down to let a small stream flow from the bottle's opening. Venice lapped up the droplets of water for a few seconds and then diverted her attention elsewhere. Sabrina then brought the bottle up to her lips and took a modest sip from it. When she was finished, she replaced the cap and turned to Keegan. With her legs crossed and an arm attentively propping her head up using the back on the bench, her brown eyes were expectant.

"I'm ready." She announced with a tiny smile. Keegan slouched lower in his seat and spread his legs comfortably as he prepared to catch her up with his life.

"Well, I was born in Florida. It was okay up there, but I always wanted more. You know?" He asked, making sure she was keeping up so far.

"I get it." She verified.

"So I went to school—I was pretty laid back. I didn't really hang out with that many kids and kept to myself. But I loved to write." Sabrina could see his eyes glaze over when he brought up the subject. "I figured that out around 9th grade; I made hundreds of comics with elaborate plots and wrote 100 paged stories." 

"But my dad," His voice darkened. Sabrina could tell his father was the reason for his bitter sweet mentality about his home. "He didn't want me to be a writer. He wasn't forceful but he was persuasive. He would make you feel like less if you didn't follow his orders. It was weird—I always felt guilty for not allowing him to control me." Keegan squinted his eyes as he psychoanalyzed his own childhood.

"What'd your mom have to say about it?"Sabrina was desperate to know if anyone was standing up for Keegan's interests during his younger years. But to her dismay, Keegan belted coldly. 

"Not a thing. She stood behind him; always had." As if feeling like his words were too hard-hearted, he quickly followed up with "Although I think she wanted me to write. She wanted me to make my own choices and she knew it was the right thing for me."

"No girlfriend?" Sabrina asked with a slight grin pushing at her lips. Keegan however, turned his lips into an unconscious frown. His heart skipped a beat and seemed to be off-track for a second after. But he didn't miss the appropriate opportunity to respond without it being considered a hesitation.

"Nope." And that was how easy it was to lie. Keegan's decision about how he'd handle this situation was chosen just then, within a fraction of a second. He'd officially made his bed, but he hoped—prayed he'd never have to be anywhere near it, let alone lying in it. Keegan's could either finally find the courage to face those persuasive sobs of sadness, or continue this lie with a streak of others. 

A small break of silence fell between them and Keegan pivoted to face her for the first time since they sat on the bench. The entire chat, she'd been looking at him but he was fixed forward. His deep brown eyes stared into hers and he drank up her beautiful face.

"Can I kiss you again?" He whispered almost inaudibly. Sabrina had a hard time hearing him but the fixation of his eyes on her parted flesh was all the translation she needed.

"I guess." She responded with faulty annoyance. Keegan smirked at her spunk and shook his head lightly as he leaned into his kryptonite. 

*

Keegan and Sabrina were now back on their feet and heading toward the park again. The sun was setting and it was getting darker. They held one another's hand and quietly strolled down the sidewalk. 

Sabrina could smell the sweet scent of melted butter and Old Bay seasoning wafting over everyone's head. As they approached a bright and loud restaurant, she could understand the aroma. An all-you-can-eat crab restaurant was at the corner of the street. She peered through the window, allowing Keegan to lead the way once again. She saw people sitting at large wooden tables and indulging in mountains of snow crab legs. A gigantic bowl of butter was permanently fastened onto the table. The happy customers had on a huge bib fit for capturing tiny pieces of meat. Sabrina didn't think anything could compare to her certain home up above, but this restaurant was close. 

Keegan could see her gawking inside the seafood joint and tried not to blatantly laugh at her food infatuation. She looked as if she'd just seen the most fascinating thing in her life. He kept his hold on her hand, but maneuvered himself in her path instead of leading her body while her eyes wandered.

She managed to walk directly into his brick build and she curiously looked up.

"How about I pick you up in 3 hours, and bring you here." He proposed, nodding at the lit up place. Sabrina fought at the butterflies coursing through her stomach and somehow, she knew Keegan was doing the same.

*

"I can't believe you wore a t-shirt on our first date." Keegan joked. After going home and taking a hot shower, she managed to change into an outfit fit for getting messy. She wore flip flops instead of the sneakers he was used to seeing her in and her legs were dress in jean capris. 

Keegan however, was wearing a solid brown sweater over dark jeans. His brown hair was fixed at the nape of his neck and his face looked particularly handsome. The lighting was catching the deep cuts in his cheekbones, despite Sabrina waved her hand as if to dismiss his complaint. 

"That's what happens when you take me to a restaurant that doesn't require utensils." Keegan made a sour face at her.

"Please," He sighed. "You were practically drooling on the glass earlier; don't act like you didn't want to come." He scolded. Sabrina tried to give him a menacing look but her chortle was breaking through the tight line of her lips. After trying for a few more seconds, she finally exhaled and looked at him expectantly.

"You know it smelled good." 

"I actually didn't notice; I think I was too focused on you." He said smoothly. Sabrina took in a shortened breath. She looked into his serious brown eyes and was surprised to see the calm expression there. He was leaning over the small table a little and gazing steadily at her beautiful face. As he expected, she looked away nervously. Keegan snorted at her sudden shyness. 

As if to interrupt the awkward pause, the waitress brought over their crabs. The plate was at least a foot high and the mountain was steaming deliciously. Brown specs of seasoning topped the shell and Sabrina swallowed the abundant amount of saliva collecting in her mouth. The waitress poured their butter and placed a cracking utensil on the table. 

"I'll be right back with your sides." She stated to them both. 

"Okay, thanks." Sabrina called after her, not allowing her eyes to leave the food. Keegan too, was gawking at the massive clusters before him. Sabrina looked over the hill into his eyes and a devious, comical grin spread her full lips as she tilted her head down maliciously. Keegan leered at her silliness. 

Sabrina said silent prayers for the food and made the first move. Their table was laced in a plastic cloth for easier clean up, so she laid her first cluster down. Ripping a leg off, she expertly cracked it open to reveal sweltering, pink flesh. She gave it an appreciative glance before devouring it whole and shutting her eyes afterwards. 

Keegan decided to grab his next. Sabrina watched him curiously, smiling at him. He took off the claw and immediately, Sabrina stopped him.




Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 02



"You know how to eat crabs, right?" Her eyebrows were pushed together inquisitively. She was shocked to see him purse his lips and shrug his shoulders in response. He had never eaten a crab straight from the shell like this. It had usually come cooked and mixed into some form of pasta.

"Oh, poor baby." She said honestly with a distressed emotion on her profile. Suddenly, she perked up and straightened in her seat. "Well, today you'll learn—from a master actually." She rolled her eyes for emphasis. 

"First, never start off with the claw. It's the hardest one." Keegan followed her instruction and placed the claw back on the table. He replaced it with a regular leg. 

"Second, you pull off all the shorter pieces." Keegan began doing as she said. "I mean you can crack them but there's usually little to no meat in them so I don't even waste my time." Keegan soaked up her informative words and nodded in compliance. He had taken off the smaller portions of the leg and was now left with a decently sized piece.

"Now, you need to press on the center of the leg. But make sure you only crack the first layer of the shell." She said this step slowly and Keegan could only guess it was the most important. He tried to do as she said, but he somehow ended up puncturing both layers of shell. The meat broke inside and he gave her a comical look.

"Oops." He grumbled, looking down the shell to see the small pieces of valuable meat. 

"I'll salvage that, you take this and try again." She handed him one of her middle claws and took his broken one out of his hand. She ripped the shell piece down the side and ate the contents quickly. Keegan tried again and successfully got a good piece of meat out. 

"Here we go." The waitress had returned with their sides. She placed a plate of corn on the cob in front of Sabrina and a bowl of coleslaw in front of Keegan. 

"Thank you." 

"So I told you all about my life; I think I should hear yours." Keegan announced. Sabrina swallowed her food while shaking her head simultaneously.

"It's too complicated." Keegan responded within an instant.

"We have time." He coaxed her on with a beam. Sabrina took in a breath and wiped her hands on the towel provided for her. 

"I have two sisters, Brittany and Ivy. We're all really close, pretty much best friends. Ivy is the youngest; she's in 12th grade now. Brittany is the oldest and she'll be 24 soon. My mom is a professor. My parents are divorced." 

Keegan awaited the completion of the explanation but it didn't come. She concluded her story by picking up another crab leg and proceeding to eat it. Keegan felt a little weird with her shortness. He'd spilled out all his skeletons to not get the same. 

"That was unfair of me." Sabrina said exasperatedly, reading Keegan's mind exactly. "A few years ago, before my parents got divorced, we got a knock on our front door. My mom went to open it and there was a woman standing on our porch. She was in her early 40's probably. She started pouring her story out to my mom. She claimed my dad was the father of her 4 year old son. She said my father planned that kid. He was completely in love with her. They'd been together for over 10 years but he kept pushing her in the dark." 

"It was hard for us but we got through it. My sisters have allowed him to enter their lives again, but I just can't." She shook her head as she took a lingering breath. "I can't forgive him for what he did to us." Keegan could see herself battling her thoughts at the table. 

"I'm really sorry you had to go through that." He uttered quietly. Sabrina looked up at him modestly. "No one deserves to be hurt by their family that way." 

"Thanks, that means a lot." It astounded her how much honesty radiated out of his pores. 

*

Keegan and Sabrina were casually strolling to his parked Honda hand in hand. They had a hard time finding nearby parking at 7pm, but Sabrina had convinced Keegan she was find with a little more walking. Her optimism had once again scored her a lengthy kiss on her full lips, which she had accepted openly. 

Keegan opened the passenger door for her and she thanked him as she sat inside. When he started up the car, Alicia Key's 'Fallin' played blatantly in the background. They rode back to Sabrina's apartment in complete silence. Sabrina laid her forehead against the cold window. Her eyes were slowly shutting as the darkness grew around her. 

When she awoke, she they car was idle. Looking around to discover her surroundings, she noticed Keegan staring at her with a hint of something playing in his pretty grey eyes. It was buried by the dimness of the car.

"What?" She tried to say the word but something was stopping her mouth from forming them properly. Her cheeks grew hot as she realized what it was. Sabrina averted her eyes and gathered her purse beside her feet in a rush. 

"Hey—" Keegan tried to slow her down but she was already opening her door and stepping out. He didn't think twice about hopping out to meet her.

"Sabrina," He started after her, broadening his steps to catch up. She was a few feet from her apartment door and he'd captured her elbow just in time. He twirled her around toward his face and tried to scan her orbs. He could barely see her profile and the flickering lamp didn't help him much. 

"What's wrong?" He asked despite the fact he had some idea what the problem was. She looked beyond him for a few seconds before taking in a rough breath. Her shoulders rose significantly while she tried to fight back tears. 

"I don't care about you sucking your thumb." He stated firmly. She smirked brokenly as if trying to disguise real feelings. She rolled her eyes nastily as she put her smiling lips in a tight line.

"Of course you do." She said with a rigid tone.

"Sabrina don't do that—don't tell me what I think." He placed a reassuring hand along her jaw and nudged her face toward his. "I'm telling you I'm not bothered. There's no reason for you to be embarrassed." His voice grew softer in correlation to his face getting nearer. Sabrina slacked her jaw and grew cross-eyes as she tried to keep up with his lips. 

She instinctively shut her eyes and grounded herself to the concrete below her. His hand continued to caress the skin on her cheek and she involuntarily placed her hand along his toned bicep to secure the action as long as she could. Sabrina ran her fingers over the thin blonde hairs idly. Keegan couldn't believe how warm her body was—her hand, jaw and mouth were all so unbelievably hot. He felt himself wanting to get closer to her frame and somehow mesh their bodies together. 

Sabrina moaned heavenly when Keegan parted her lips. He couldn't resist the urge to wrap his arm around her lower half and push her closer toward him. He ran his tongue over everything inside her tiny mouth. He gently tugged on her full bottom lip and Sabrina could feel herself moistening from their kiss. 

A car alarm down the street jolted Sabrina back to life. She looked toward the sound to see someone's jeep blinking its lights and honking furiously as someone scrambled for their keys to turn it off. Keegan was annoyed that the car had interrupted them, but he took a step back and reached in his back pocket for his keys. 

"I'll call you tomorrow." He said. She nodded silently and turned to head back to her apartment in a daze.

*

Keegan was lounging on the carpeted floor of his apartment. His eyes were fixed on the white ceiling as images of Sabrina filled his mind.

"So, I'm curious to know what you're going to do about this big ass mess you've gotten yourself in." Quincy said, gazing down on him from their kitchen. He had his forearms on the counter as he indulged in a bowl of cereal at 9 PM. Keegan sighed, not quite knowing the answer himself. 

"I... shit I don't fucking know." He groaned, slapping a hand down his face. His subconscious was effectively pushing his currents stances deep into his core, leaving more room for happiness. Happiness that only Sabrina was causing.

"Well she's been calling. I think that's her now." Quincy said, nodding toward Keegan's illuminated cell that sat idly in the corner of the empty room. He scrambled for it, eventually pressing the green button. 

"Hello?" He answered. Quincy's eyes bore into the back of his head. 

"Hey baby. I've been calling you today." Bethany said nonchalantly, secretly demanding an explanation for his lack of communication. 

"Oh, I was working and then as soon as I got home, I just started writing. I'm sorry." He said coolly. He had no idea how the lie flowed so freely and fluidly, but he was somewhat glad it had. Although, a piece of him wasn't comfortable with his newly acquired knack. He wasn't a dishonest man but he felt hopeless.

He'd need to break this off. Keegan left home to abolish his oppressive childhood but only to move away and be captured in the talons of this restrictive relationship. Not to mention it was forcing him to lose himself and put the current best thing in his life, in jeopardy. 

"Bethany we need—"He suppressed a groan when she cut him off to branch into a new topic.

"I have some super awesome news!" How the hell was he ever attracted to such a valley girl voice? He smiled when he tried to imagine Sabrina saying something like that.

"What?" He said bleakly. 

"Well," She took a dramatic pause that didn't do the job of adding suspense. "I finally got a call for a job—a teaching job that actually let's me use my degree." Keegan couldn't deny, he was happy for her. 

Regardless of how annoying or inconvenient Bethany was, she was a sweet girl. She deserved to be satisfied in life. After seeing her struggle with student loans and a waitressing job that did nothing to exercise her knowledge and love for teaching, Keegan grew respect for her. 

He felt like shit for lying to her. He wished she was the rude, selfish bitch that would make this easier for him. He wouldn't mind breaking up with that over the phone and brushing off the cries and pleads. But unfortunately she was like that, she was a good woman. 

"Beth, that's really great. I'm proud of you." He said earnestly. Keegan couldn't do it today. Who was he to ruin her good mood with a long distance break up. He'd let her enjoy her new job for a few weeks and when the time was right he'd tell her. That was reasonable.

"Thanks. I wish I could've told you in person." Bethany sighed. "I miss you." 

"I miss you too." Keegan replied dejectedly. The quality of the word signified the sadness the topic required but also Keegan's existing emotional state. Quincy's light brown eyes were lit with humor when he walked passed Keegan. His smooth skin was wrinkled where he was trying to retain his laughter. The nostrils of his narrow, slender nose were flaring and relaxing repeatedly. When he finally reached the bathroom, he allowed his bellowing laugh to flow openly. 





***Please beware that I had braces for 5 years, until I was 17, because I couldn't kick my thumb sucking habit, so be kind to Sabrina! 

With that said lol, hope you enjoyed.***



Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 03



Hey! So this is the third installment of this series and I really want to say thank you. I want to thank everyone who's trying to help me improve my writing. Also, you may think you know how this story is going to pan out, but there's a 90% chance you're wrong hahaha. So before you think that this is predictable, don't.

I also want to thank my very first and lovely editor fcknfresh.

Enjoy and please leave feedback!

2 WEEKS LATER

Sabrina pressed against her mother's apartment door, already knowing it was open for her. She kicked off her shoes immediately; she knew her mom hated when people walked on the carpet with their shoes on. Her small yet stylish apartment was adorable yet trendy, and signified her mother's taste.

The color of the entire dwelling was a warm, rusted tan. Windows were always open with the blinds peeled for light to filter in. Even in their old house, before the divorce, she always loved for it to be bright.

"We're in here, Bean." Ivy called. Sabrina looked toward the source of her childhood name and followed her instincts. She opened her mother's bedroom door to find her two sisters and mother lying in her king sized canopy bed which was perched 3 feet off the ground. Her mother lay in between the two women. 

Her auburn skin was illuminated by the television and Sabrina could see her perfectly. She had long, silken lashes that hovered over her deep brown cat eyes. Her daughter's had all inherited her highly arched brows and full, fleshy lips. Her hair was honey brown and an inch long yet curled naturally tight. She smirked at her daughter, raising an already elevated cheekbone and immediately taking 5 years off her age.

Brittany was similar in complexion, but a little lighter. Her relaxed hair was straightened in a bob around her angled jaw. She was tall and took care of her hour-glass figure. Brittany and Ivy both acquired their father's burning gold eyes. Ivy was the only one of the three that was naturally slender and lengthy. She lay along their mother's side and nuzzled into her frame. 

Sabrina walked toward the side where Ivy was and her sister pulled up the covers to allow her under. She lined her body up with Ivy's and they all absent mindedly watched the movie playing on the TV. It was a classic for the four women—Legally Blonde. Sometimes they'd even watch the second one if they were up to it. 

This was a specific moment for the women to bond. They sat, wrapped in one another's arms, and embraced the connection that followed. It had become a sort of custom after their parents' divorce. Showing their mother the affection she deserved and silently remind her of their love was becoming a necessity. 

*

"Olivia is in love!" Ivy exclaimed. She leaned a little further over the table as she projected the last word of her sentence for emphasis. Brittany shook her head furiously.

"She's stupid for allowing Fitz to use her like that." Brittany responded. Their mother-daughter meeting usually ended in a heated battle about Scandal. Regardless of the shouting and throwing of opinions, Sabrina loved this part of their night. Somehow, she found it all relaxing. 

"He loves her too; he's just caught in a weird situation." Their mother added in a voice of reason. She only spoke when she felt she needed to. It was obvious she was pro Fitz and Olivia, right alongside her daughter Ivy.

"Exactly. He doesn't want to hurt either of them." Ivy co-signed.

"No. He doesn't want to hurt his chances of re-election." Sabrina clarified. "Which is absolutely selfish of him. He has everything he wants at everyone else's expense." A blanket of awkwardness cloaked the table before them. Her words stuck and stung for reasons they all knew.

"That's true." Their mother whispered as if the world was capable of hearing her if she spoke too loudly. Sabrina swallowed hard. She didn't mean to attack her; she was only expressing her opinion on a TV show character. It was merely coincidence that it applied to her father too. 

"I brought some pictures for your apartment." Brittany said, quickly changing the subject as she always did. Her sister was a free lance artist and was very good at her craft. Her art was exceptionally intricate and full of passion. She had no problem with getting them sold at farmer's markets and online. After hearing Sabrina complain about her bland her new apartment was, she promised to give her a few of her older paintings.

"Oh... thanks." Sabrina replied. 

"Here, I'll show them to you." Brittany proposed. She got up from her seat and pushed in her chair. She ran a hand over her jean shorts. She stood at the table, searching the room until she found her keys. After she snatched them up, she made her way to the front door. Sabrina was on her heels, eager to utilize her sister's plan of escape. 

They got to the parking lot and Brittany opened the trunk of her compact car. She revealed two wide, medium sized canvasses. By quick glance, they looked exactly alike. Both featured a sun setting over an ocean. They were laced with purples and yellows in the sky. 

"You place them side by side but not together." Sabrina nodded, now understanding. The second was a continuation of the first but they were meant to have a bit of space between them.

"Thank you, I love them." Sabrina said. She could feel her sister watching her, but she kept her eyes downcast.

"You need to be easier on her, Bean. She still isn't quite over it all." Brittany said exasperatedly. 

"I wasn't trying to be cruel. It just sounded like I was, but I wasn't." 

"But you feel like that... about dad." Sabrina shifted on her feet uncomfortably and avoided her sister's eyes. 

"A piece of me does, yes." She mumbled inaudibly. Brittany sighed and rested against the trunk of her car. She crossed her arms over her busty chest and gazed beyond her sister.

"He really wants to see you." Sabrina rolled her eyes at no one and shook her head slowly. 

She knew just as well as Brittany did, that would never happen. Whatever explanation he had for her wasn't enough to change her opinion of him. 

"Luke chapter 6 verse 37." Her sister said matter-of-factly.

Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;

That was just one of the any bible references she'd heard over the past few years. After they spoke with their Bishop at church about their situation, he'd tossed so many others her way. But for once, she didn't want to refer to the bible. She felt entitled to her anger. 

*

"It's your day to do the books." Connor said to Keegan. Connor was sweeping in front of the check up desk. Keegan however, was reclining the chair behind it. 

Working at the library was boring to say the least. He wasn't the type of person who found large amounts of solitude and free-time fun. There were hardly many people at the library during the week, especially during the working hours. So the library was quiet and empty aside from the 2 people using the computers on the second floor. Although Keegan was thankful Connor's recent employment was making things a little more enjoyable. 

He was extremely mellow and easy-going. He and Keegan usually spent their time talking and sharing jokes if there wasn't much to do. He was about 5"10 with buzz cut brown hair. His eyes were a matching shade and he was fit. Like Keegan, he was using this job as a simple way of making money while trying to pursue something else. Connor was interested in starting his own bar. He was already approved for the loan; he just needed to start making more money to pay his rent while all the paperwork was being finalized. 

"Alright." Keegan sighed. He adjusted the crotch of his jeans while walking to the back room to retrieve the cart full of books. He groaned as he spotted it; it was filled to capacity. There were books covering every inch of its surface. It would take him all afternoon to return all the books to their proper places located over the entire 2 story library. 

After a half hour of working, he was replacing books a few yards away from where the front entrance sat. He heard to bell of the door opening and didn't even attempt to look around the large shelf to see who it was. Connor should've been there to greet whoever it was. But as two voices began conversing, he was drawn to listen.

"Okay I'll just look around for him, thanks." Keegan looked through a crack in the books and saw a perfect frizzy bun walking toward a different section of the library. His heart accelerated and he fought the weird urge to smile at her disappearing frame. Keegan lost her in the book cases and decided he'd surprise her. 

He moved hastily to the other end of the library. Connor was about to tell him his visitor's whereabouts but Keegan silenced him with a finger toward his lips. Connor laughed at his childishness and continued whatever it was he was doing. Keegan could see little glimpses of her in between the enormous bookshelves. He tried to follow her without being too detectable, but after a minute of continuously losing her, he grew suspicious. She was walking faster, damn near running. 

She knew he was chasing her. Keegan suppressed a laugh and accepted her challenge. 

Sabrina was trying not to giggle like a little girl but it was difficult. For some reason, being pursued and hiding behind the shelves was exhilaratingly fun. Whenever she heard his jeans rustling in the distance, she'd move further away from the sound.

She was crouching lowly behind a tall and wide pole nestled toward the end of the row when she realized she lost him. She eagerly searched for feet and tried to listen for any noises but couldn't distinguish much of anything. She stood tall and exited the row to search for him. Her eyebrows were pushed into a tight line and she was about to call his name when her voice caught in her throat. 

Keegan had wrapped his forearm around her shoulders from behind. His other hand was pressed securely against her bottom. He eased his lips onto her jaw line and slowly began kissing it tenderly. Sabrina reached her hand up to grip his arm for support. Her eyes couldn't stay open as he began to knead her ass through her scrubs. Keegan looked at her tightly curled lashes that rested on her cheeks and down onto her open lips. Her pink cotton outfit smelled like peppermint while her neck smelled like vanilla. Together, the two scents were doing things to his body that didn't seem appropriate for this setting. 

Keegan spun her around and looked into her eyes. 

"You look beautiful today." He whispered huskily. The front of her hair introduced a French braid that lead into the large sock bun he saw earlier. The highlights lit her face as well as the small diamond studs on her ears. Her lips were hydrated and smooth. She smiled nervously, clearly not quite used to Keegan's bold compliments. 

"Thanks." She looked down on her white crocs with small buttons consisting of various junk foods and Disney characters in some of the holes. Keegan snickered at her shoes. 

"What?" Sabrina asked, smiling back at him. "They're cute." Keegan coiled an arm around her waist and dragged her body toward him once again. He leaned in to meet her lips but Sabrina quickly turned her head.

She was slowly growing accustomed to Keegan's random ruptures of affection. So instead of being consumed by them, she learned to turn him down to get what she wanted before she fell in line.

"Can we get lunch today?" She was craning her neck to avoid his mouth. With Keegan's hand pressed firmly against her upper half, she could only go so far. He managed to get his other hand on the back of her head and began pushing her head closer to his.

"Don't mess up my hair." Sabrina groaned. Regardless of her warning, he still leaned in. In response, she folded her lips into her mouth, fighting back a triumphant smile.

"Sabrina." Keegan said tautly. Sabrina snorted at his expression; he was getting frustrated. 

"Can we go to lunch?" She asked a bit more sassily. Keegan had let her go, and looked at his wrist watch with his lips in a rigid line. Sabrina felt horrible for wanting to chuckle so badly.

What a brat, she thought, smirking at him. 

"I need to finish putting away these books first." He grumbled. He stuffed his hands into his khaki pants and stood before her as if he were waiting to be dismissed from her presence. Sabrina wrapped her arms around his waist and he made no move to welcome her body. She stretched her neck to look into his smoldering eyes as he looked down on her. She was a few centimeters from his lips but still, he made no effort to kiss her. 

"I'll help you." She said faintly. Her breath lightly ran across his lips and he could no longer keep up his façade. He closed the distance between their lips. Sabrina's heart was racing in her chest and somehow she knew the feelings she got when he kissed her would never subside. He would forever continue to make her feel like a teenage girl.

Keegan let his hands leave the comfort of his pockets and onto her back. He rubbed the length a few times before sweeping over the curvature of her pants. Sabrina slipped her tongue into his mouth eagerly. She moaned peacefully when he gently massaged her backside. Keegan marveled at how much her nails running through his scalp relaxed him. 

A rolling sound approaching from behind Sabrina made her pull her tongue from his opening. But Keegan stayed motionless. Connor's body emerged from behind a shelf. He rolled the cart still full of at least 20 books over to them. Sabrina managed to yank Keegan's palm off of her butt and leave his embrace. 

"Ann will be here in an hour." Connor said simply. He turned on his heel and walked out of view. Sabrina's cheeks grew hot in embarrassment. Keegan walked toward the cart of books and began searching for the next one to be put away.

*

"Who's Ann?" Sabrina asked. Instead of helping Keegan, she settled with just talking to him while he did all the work. After learning that she needed to follow so many rules when putting the books away, she decided against it.

"She's the boss. She comes in everyday right before we close and tells us everything we did wrong." 

"She sounds awesome." Sabrina stated faintly. She was standing directly behind Keegan, glancing at some of the books on the shelves. They were in the non-fiction section and Sabrina saw very few books that caught her concentration.

"How's your day going so far?" Keegan asked, his eyes focusing on the book's binding but his voice full of attention for her. 

"It's going okay. Yours?" She asked.

"Slow and painful... until you showed up." He said honestly. Sabrina turned toward him to only be met with the back of his head. She had no idea why she expected him to be facing her, considering he said things like that all the time. Sabrina placed her head between his shoulder blades as he continued to work. His moving arms forced the sockets of his arm to flex out of his back and Sabrina rested her hand against the bone. 

"You're so good to me." Sabrina exhaled, her cheek flush against his shirt forcing her words to come out garbled. She closed her eyes and melted into his body.

"What'd you say baby?" He whispered, leaning his head over his shoulder.

"Nothing." She replied.

*

After it took Keegan Sabrina's entire lunch break to finish his work, she suggested they just have dinner at her apartment. It was nearing 7:00 when he'd decided he would call Bethany before he left. He had been avoiding her as much as he could while blaming his absence on his writing. But the irony of that lie, was that he'd hardly been writing at all. 

It rang a half of a second before a click signaled someone had answered. Keegan swallowed hard and his face grew hardened. He had to do it today. He couldn't keep living this lie. Sabrina was important to him and everyday he kept up this lie, he risked losing her. But after today, he realized that he was gambling too much. 

"Hi honey. I was just about to call you." Bethany said. 

"Bethany this isn't working." Keegan said sternly. Quincy seemed to open the front door at the perfect time, because he was now giving Keegan a proud stare. As if Quincy was his catalyst, Keegan continued in an affirmative voice. "I can't stay committed to you anymore. I don't want to do this. I'm sorry." 

"What?" She asked in hysterics. "Keegan you can't be serious." Her voice was a pleading whisper. Keegan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Behind his lids he could see her watering green eyes begging for love—his love. Keegan's heart was in the midst of tearing and leaving him feeling unbearably guilty. He had to reply before he lost his nerve.

"I am." And with that, he pressed the end button as hard as he could. Quincy gave him a slow applaud and Keegan flipped him off. 

"Good job. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you're expecting pussy tonight." Quincy said, scaring Keegan with his accuracy.

"I couldn't have just done it just because it was the right thing to do?" Keegan asked, giving himself away.

"No," Quincy said it immediately. "because if that were true, you would've done it the first day you met her." Keegan stood from off of the carpet and took a languid walk to the window. Quincy watched his friend stare blankly in the distance.

"Keegan, she'll be fine." Quincy added, noting his friend's newly changed mood. Keegan let out a loud breath. He tried to zero his mind in on Sabrina. He could already feel himself loosening up as he thought of her. Her pretty smile, with the small flecks of clear metal lining her teeth. And her brown eyes, gleaming while gazing attentively up at him. 

She deserved someone committed to only her. Both Sabrina and Bethany deserved that. But unfortunately, Keegan was only one person.

"You made the right choice." Quincy tried again. For a few more minutes, Keegan continued to stand at the window, battling his own inner thoughts. He was trying desperately to validate breaking an innocent person's heart but he couldn't allow himself to. A third sense was stopping him. He had a hunch that told him he'd made the wrong decision. A dim cloud in the distance signified the ultimate price he'd pay for what was done.

"You better get on the damn road; the pussy's getting cold." Quincy said seriously. His attempt to lighten the mood was not in vain. Keegan cracked a minuscule smile and walked toward the entrance.

"Forget you." Keegan mumbled while opening the front door. Quincy's cackle was massive as Keegan stepped through the threshold and into the apartment's hallway.

"Forget you? Is she turning you into a fucking nun?" Keegan couldn't help but snicker at that. He was sure Quincy heard him from the other side of the door because he erupted again.

*

"Honey, I'm home." Keegan announced while opening her door. He locked it behind himself and turned to find the apartment empty. It was barely furnished but still had more furniture than his apartment. That was one of the many reasons he preferred coming to her place rather than his. 

"You're corny." Sabrina yelled from her bedroom. Keegan snorted and slowly began to wander around her home. It was bit bigger than his, but not by much. 

It was bland yet you could still see her personality in some ways. Her couch set was a deep purple and extremely vibrant against the white walls. He wasn't surprised the theme color was purple; he was starting to figure out that was her favorite color. Her laptop sat on it and she had Duplex waiting to be played for their night. A wide, flamboyant plant was nestled in the corner of the room beside her only window. A painting took up a considerable amount of wall space and matched the couch perfectly.

Deliciously smelling food was tickling his nose and starting up his taste buds. He wandered into the kitchen and took in the set up of Chinese food on the counter. She'd bought Lo mien, shrimp fried rice, shrimp rolls, General Tso's and rib tips. He was about to grab a fortune cookie when Sabrina's voice stopped him cold.




Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 03



"Don't touch that food!" She said severely. Keegan snatched his hand away from the counter as if it were burning hot. He groaned and went to take a seat and wait for her. 

"Hurry up." He complained. He could only imagine how dressed up she was getting over a Chinese dinner date at her own apartment. He decided he'd use this free time to relish in how free he felt. Keegan was beginning to feel a bit better about his decision. Bethany was probably crying her eyes out and calling him over and over again, But Keegan thoughtfully left his phone at home. She'd get over it soon enough, it was a part of life. One thing in life that's guaranteed is being heartbroken at least once.

He sat there for another 10 minutes until he grew entirely too impatient. Keegan's new freedom would be nothing if he couldn't wrap his arms around the person responsible for it all. He rapped on her bedroom door a few times, his emotion seeping through his knuckles.

"Come in, Keegan." Her voice was so seductive and creamy, it made him curious. He slowly opened her door. She was standing directly behind it. Her hair was curly, wild and wiry on her shoulders. She wore an orange tank top without a bra. Her round breasts were perched flawlessly on her chest and small nubs was trying desperately to get through. Keegan's eyes trailed down her body and rested on her underwear.

She wasn't wearing any pants. She had on a pair of regular black panties. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet and that brought Keegan's attention to her wide hips and full thighs. They were a milky chocolate brown that tantalized his dick and caused blood to rush to its tip. 

"I know I'm wearing granny-panties, but I didn't get to wash clothes this week." She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, yet Keegan could see her distress. She ran her clammy hands down the curvature of her thighs. Her eyes were searching for anything to look at other than his grey eyes.

"They'll still end up on the floor." She almost hadn't heard him. Sabrina's eyes grew like saucers when he stalked toward her as if she were his prey. He pecked her briefly and moved his hands to the hem of her tank. He lifted it over her head slowly, teasing himself with the revelation of rich brown skin. 

She had large, dark areolas that looked mouth watering. But Keegan wanted to be romantic and slow with her, despite his cock. So he secured his palm around the back of her neck and brought their lips together. He gently nipped and tugged on her bottom lip. Sabrina moaned in response. Soon, her hands were reaching to take off his top.

Keegan could feel her nails scratching around on his shirt so he parted the kiss to pull it over himself, knowing Sabrina wasn't tall enough to do it herself. Keegan laid open mouth kisses down her neck, across her collar and down her breast until he reached her nipple. When he did, he captured it between his lips and flicked his tongue over her hardening flesh. Sabrina closed her eyes and tried to control her ragged breaths. The loud suction sound fleeing his pink lips were moistening her pussy. He alternated breasts, making sure to coat each one with a generous amount of his saliva. 

Keegan slipped his fingers into her panties and slowly slid them down her thighs. He revealed a pretty bald pussy with juices oozing through the lips. Keegan groaned pleasantly as he gave her a fleeting look and smile. 

"You're so wet Bri." Sabrina moaned sweetly when she heard his nick name for her laced with such a masculine tone. 

"Open up for me." He said faintly, kissing her thighs as if she needed coaxing. She did as he asked.

Keegan lined his lips up with her lower ones and instantly tasted her sweetness. Her flavor was deliciously intoxicating. Keegan let his wide tongue lick her up and down countless amounts of times before he set his interest on her clit. He found the puckered nub and Sabrina unconsciously bucked her hips. Keegan put his hands along her ass to keep her steady while he ate her to release. 

"Oh, Keegan." She whined as he sucked on her sensitive spot, forcing her to cum hard in his mouth. She gripped his shoulders for support while her knees threatened to bow beneath her. Keegan was standing and sustaining her before the climax declined. He led her over toward her full-sized bed and laid her delicately on it. 

He pulled the condom out of his back pocket before he pulled down his jeans and boxers. 

"It looks like you were planning on getting some tonight." Sabrina asked skeptically. Keegan looked between her and the condom he had double checked for before he left the house.

"Shh. Baby, don't ruin the moment." He mumbled softly, eliciting a chortle from Sabrina. He relinquished his hard-on from its barrier. Sabrina was impressed with his size; no less than seven inches in length and three inches width. Keegan sheathed himself before he slid himself into her core. He kept her eyes the entire time and only when she took in a sharp breath did he look down to see he was buried balls deep into her. 

"You okay?" He asked, running his hand down her crown. Sabrina nodded silently and slid her tongue out over her lips. Keegan was easy with her for a minute; taking his time entering and departing her tight hole. Soon, she began to relax and her head stretched backward toward the ceiling. When she seemed to really be enjoying it did he pound into her somewhat harder. At least he thought the stroke wasn't too different. Sabrina instantaneously picked up on the variation and her cries told him just that. 

Her brows were pushed together as she looked between her legs to see him vanishing inside her. Her pussy was swallowing his entire length and she had no idea how. 

"Pussy... so good." Keegan didn't seem to have the capacity to form complete sentences anymore. But that was fine with him, as long as he could keep making love to her he was fine with anything. Just looking down on her bouncing tits drove him crazy. But he was convinced she had the pussy of an angel. 

"I'm about—" Sabrina was cut short by her own body exploding into tiny tingling pieces. She could no longer focus on anything but the sex appeal of the man above her. He gawked at her as if she was somehow the queen of the world made completely of gold. But soon after, his expression contorted into one of anguish. She let a loud whimper flee her lips as he tugged on her protruding nipple while he came. He collapsed on top of her, and Sabrina embraced him. She welcomed his heaviness and wrapped her arms over his shoulders. 

They let their rapid breath dwindle down to something normal.

"I think I'm falling in love with you." Keegan announced. 

"Shut up." Sabrina replied nonchalantly, rolling her eyes. 

"Sabrina I'm serious. I know it's soon but I think I am." 

"Okay." Sabrina replied on a laugh. 

"I'm not joking." He whispered, sending a chill down her spine. 



Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 04



Okay, I'm just going to say that the plot will be thickening with the next chapter, there isn't much sex in this one and thank you all for the feedback!

Thanks to my wonderful editor, fcknfresh

*

Sabrina didn't quite know how to feel. How could he say he loved her? The confidence in his post-orgasm voice was something she had no idea could be so convincing. The thought of rushing their relationship right into the ground was bombarding her to the point of insanity. She felt strongly about Keegan; he treated her like a princess. He was so compassionate, even-tempered and naturally sexy—plus he laughed at all her jokes. But she didn't know if that was love or not. It didn't seem like he was expecting her to return the words right away and for that she was thankful.

She lay in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. Keegan was sound asleep with his head securely resting in the crook of her neck and arm wrapped around her midsection.

Sabrina stifled a sigh and turned her head away from him. Her clock read a little after 12 AM. With the realization that she wouldn't be able to sleep within the near future, she carefully slipped out of bed. When she reached the door, she turned to make sure Keegan was undisturbed.

A window right behind her bed allowed a pattern of light to fall over his body. He was nestled in the heap of comforters and sheets with his arms outspread where Sabrina once lay. His tanned skin was eye-catching against the darkness of the room; he was the most visible thing inside.

Sabrina padded into her kitchen after putting her t-shirt and panties back on. The untouched Chinese food was put in the fridge for breakfast. She cleaned off the counters, shut off the lights and settled on her couch. She tucked her feet under herself and put her laptop on the cushion beside her. Duplex was still waiting to be played, so she decided to watch it. With the volume as low as her ears would allow, she watched the opening credits.

The movie was doing a pretty decent job of keeping her mind off of the man in her bed. Although every once in awhile she found herself day dreaming and missing a solid 10 minutes.

"What's wrong?" Sabrina nearly jumped out of her seat. Keegan was standing right beside her, his crotch level with her eyes. Sabrina took a deep breath to calm her heart's pounding. She continued to stare at the screen for another second.

"Nothing's wrong." She replied. Keegan picked up the laptop and closed it, instantly stopping the DVD and silencing the room. There was almost no light except for the stars outside the window. Keegan sat in front of her and put the computer on the floor.

"You thinking about what I said?" He asked, looking ahead. Sabrina felt a little déjà-vu of the day they sat on the bench. She had been focused on him while he looked ahead and away from her.

"Yeah." She sighed without hesitation.

"Okay," He said the word slowly. "What're you thinking?" It took Sabrina few seconds to start talking, and she questioned how she felt so comfortable sharing her thoughts.

"I just feel," She cut herself short, racking her brain for the right words. "We're—this is all happening so fast Keegan. I don't want to—I don't want either of us to get hurt." She whispered. They looked into one another's eyes while she awaited his next sentence.

"I won't hurt you." He said silently. "I could never live with myself if I did." Sabrina inwardly groaned. Why hadn't she anticipated his heart fluttering response? A few seconds passed gracelessly between them.

"You were really good... earlier." Keegan grumbled. Sabrina gave him a playful warning glance.

"We aren't discussing that." She tried to hide her smile of embarrassment while her cheeks heated.

"Why not?" Sabrina sighed heavily but didn't respond. Something about Keegan's reference to their sex made her feel like a teenage girl having a sex talk with her father.

Keegan reached across the length of the love seat for Sabrina's arms. With his hands steadily around each wrist, he guided her onto his lap and positioned himself to lie on the couch. His feet dangled over the armrest while Sabrina's bent knee sat between his legs.

She melted into the curve of his chest and tried to memorize his heartbeat. Keegan's wide hand idly ran up and down her clad back.

"I know it seems rushed, but I know how I'm feeling." He did know how he was feeling, and a part of him was scared shitless. But another piece, the larger one, was taking it all in as he went. Keegan wouldn't be concerned with chronologically monitoring his emotions and making sure they fell in line with the standards. He would try and be with Sabrina every chance he got, and if that meant he fell head over heels, so be it.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yes Bri, so be quiet and go to sleep." He grasped her hand and placed her own thumb inside her mouth. She gurgled sweetly and after hearing that, he couldn't help but join in. When it grew soundless again, he draped his arms around her and fell into a deep slumber.

*

Sabrina's heels were clacking speedily up the walkway of her church. Her hands were frantically trying to keep her clothes from flying up around her. It was a beautiful day; the sun was shining brutally onto her shades and there was a light breeze. The position and intensity of the sun's rays was a reminder of how late Sabrina actually was. Unconsciously, her heels picked up speed.

She wore a knee length red chiffon dress with an cinched waist. The sleeves were wide and allowed her to move freely while the length was modestly above her knees.

She approached the front entrance and her pulse accelerated in link with her nerves. A petite usher opened the door for her. He was handsome and had deep chocolate brown eyes.

"Good morning Ms. Solomon." He greeted with a warm smile. She pushed her glasses onto her crown so he could see her eyes.

"Morning Keith." Her reply was so breathy—she was too out of shape. She used the brief walk to the church's service room to collect her wheezing. Another usher gave her a grin and appraising look when she reached the entry.

Sabrina could understand his look; she was in a great mood this morning. She normally didn't get so dressed up for church, but today, something compelled her to put more effort into her appearance. So she'd coated her lashes and tried an intricate bun.

The second usher silently signaled for her to follow him. He led her down the aisles and between pews full of people. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so watched and scrutinized.

Sabrina could see her mother standing with everyone else, yet searching for her 3rd daughter. Sabrina bit her lip when her menacing eyes landed on her. Thankfully, Sabrina was sitting in an aisle seat beside Brittany, with her mother on the opposite end. Sabrina put her purse below her chair and sang along with the choir, completely having missed the opening prayers.

Brittany handed a baby to Sabrina. Sabrina looked into the striking child's eyes and smirked.

"Thanks for watching her." She whispered to her sister. She bounced the baby to the sound of the accompaniment.

"You're welcome—just don't be late again." Brittany said, looking Sabrina right in her eyes as if to put fear into her. Sabrina gave her a sassy look.

"Wh—" Sabrina was cut short.

"Shhh!" Their mother spat, leaning forward to make eye contact with the talking women. They headed her warning and abruptly ended their chatter.

Sabrina looked at the choir and spotted the mother of the baby she was holding. Rochelle was Sabrina's best friend. She was one of the lead singers in the choir, and had an amazing voice.

Her honey brown eyes looked at Sabrina and she gave her a coy grin. The expression told her that Rochelle would be expecting some answers for her slip in.

Rochelle had caramel tinted skin that shimmered in gold undertones. Her hair was set in tamed ringlets around her shoulders. She was petite and entirely eye-catching. She and Sabrina had been best friends before she left for Rhode Island. They stayed in contact and talked regularly throughout her college years. During that time, Sabrina attended Rochelle's wedding and sat in the waiting room as she awaited the birth of her daughter, Mena.

But after her birth, Sabrina could remember Rochelle was having a hard time trying to balance her new world. Her husband was Jewish, and wouldn't attend the Sunday morning services that Rochelle was committed to. After a rough patch in their marriage in regard to how they'd raise Mena, they compromised. Mena would follow through with all Jewish and Christian customs.

Neither of their families were fond of the idea. Rochelle could almost guarantee bold remarks about the private topic when in his families' presence. But Sabrina was always there with an ear and a shoulder when she needed it. Now, she was stronger. Rochelle had grown comfortable with the nasty comments and finally settled in with the fact that she'd never be a part of her husband's family the way she hoped. So to make sure she continued to sing, Sabrina offered to watch Mena on Sunday mornings. Their friendship only strengthened over the past few months when Sabrina got a job as her dental assistant.

*

The service was over, and Sabrina was anticipating her mother's questions. People stood, talking and slowly migrating toward the conference room full of refreshments. Sabrina put a cooing Mena inside her car seat and began looking around for Rochelle.

"Sabrina." Her mother hardly ever called her by her full first name. Slowly, she turned to face her powerful eyes. "I don't want to know why you were late, just don't let it happen again."

It was some sort of ritual for the four women to arrive at church at 7:30 on the dot—a half hour before the services even began. They'd sit in the small room beside the front entrance and mingle with anyone around. The Solomon women were somewhat like church celebrities. They stood, sipping coffee, smiling robotically and politely greeting familiar faces as if they were strangers. It was almost as pointless as it seemed, if not more considering the same events occurred at the end of service too. Although, Sabrina could see why her mother would be upset. Even she was embarrassed to stagger in so late.

Her mother's burning brown eyes flashed behind Sabrina's body for a moment. When they settled on her again, Sabrina didn't miss the slight look of annoyance on her face.

"Hello, Ms. Solomon." Rochelle announced. She appeared on Sabrina's left and gave Erica a warm smile despite the scowl she received in return.

"Hi, Rochelle. How are you?" The question was extremely rigid. Sabrina winced at her mother's unfriendliness. Her body language was unwelcoming and overly defensive. But she knew Rochelle was used to it, if not from Erica then from others.

"I'm well, thank you." When Rochelle turned her attention toward Sabrina's arms, Erica shifted on her feet.

"I'll talk to you later." Her mother said, leaning in to kiss her cheek in a greeting and departing gesture.

"Bye ma." She said. Her mother strolled out of the church with her daughters flanking.

To see them walking out so uniformly while she stood staring after was unnerving. Especially after being somewhat reprimanded. Sabrina felt an odd sense of disconnection from her family at that moment. Not to say she hadn't ever felt it before. Lately, she was noticing how different her sisters' morals were in comparison to hers. Ivy had sworn to celibacy until marriage while Brittany was committed to everything Christian and holy. Even the way they handled the divorce had made her feel alienated for awhile.

"Come sit." Rochelle said. Sabrina shifted Mena in her arms and sat down on a cushioned pew. Both women had their eyes glued on the baby. She had pale, almost egg shell white skin with Rochelle's eyes and her father's slender nose.

"So what's up?" Rochelle asked. The question would've seemed typical and quite appropriate if it wasn't used in such a tone. It implied that Rochelle wanted to know something specific, and that Sabrina knew exactly what it was.

"With what?" She replied.

"What do you mean 'with what?'" Rochelle laughed, finally taking her eyes off of Mena. Rochelle whispered her next sentence. "What's up with you stumbling into a 7:30 service at 9:15 on shaky knees?"

Sabrina chuckled. This was why she loved Rochelle so much—and it was also why her mother despised her too. Rochelle was such a fresh breath of air to Sabrina. After dealing with straight forward, spiritually opinionated siblings and mother, it was fun to unwind with Rochelle. Her conversations weren't centered on the bible, even though she was an active believer. She cursed; something Sabrina hardly ever did. She was also truthful and realistic.

"I didn't stumble in." Sabrina tried to be convincing but her smile was making it difficult. "And I was late one time, it's no big deal." She finished nonchalantly.

"For you, it is a big deal. Now tell me who he is." Sabrina sighed deeply as she thought about her morning with Keegan.

It had begun with a tender kiss on her lips. His soft touch stirred her awake at 7 o'clock, so she was already running late. As if to back up her schedule even further, he started running his hands over the curve of her hips and thighs beneath the sheets. The act alone gave her goose bumps, but his hungry eyes got her wet. His morning kiss was sweet and passionate. He was feeding off of her responses even though she was fighting them as hard as she could.

But her fight hadn't been enough to get her out of bed within fifteen minutes. And after those fifteen minutes, he managed to keep her for another ten before her fatigue and utter worry gave her the strength.

"Bean." Rochelle called, smirking at her. Sabrina's cheeks grew hot when she realized she was being watched. She looked around the church for any curious ears but returned her gaze when she saw only the pianist, and he was packing up to leave.

"He just moved here about a month ago." She whispered. "His name is Keegan."

"Keegan?" Rochelle's eyes grew wide as she said the name aloud. She leaned in closer and gave Sabrina a strange look.

"That's a white boy's name." Rochelle said the sentence so fast, Sabrina almost missed it. But when she finally put the words together, a full chortle left her lips. When she settled, she agreed by nodding her head yet sighing too.

"It is." Sabrina replied. Rochelle began laughing hysterically. It was loud in the empty church and Sabrina was glad they were the only ones around.

"Your mother is going to flip the world upside down." Rochelle finally got out. She wiped a tear from her eye.

"No she isn't." Sabrina said it quietly.

"Okay, I guess you'd know better than me." She sighed. Sabrina knew her mother could be a little judgmental, but she wasn't a racist.

*

"They didn't have any Yoohoo's so I got you Nesquick." Keegan said while coming through the door of Sabrina's apartment. She turned down the stove and faced him.

He'd just gotten back from work at the library. Sabrina texted him her need of a chocolate drink and he was more than happy to cure her craving. He had on a grey three-quarter sleeve thermal that bunched around the forearms. It was fitted, and accented his slender yet lightly muscled body. The two buttons on the collar were undone and allowed her a glimpse of his creamy chest. The black jeans gave him a dressier look.

Although he went to get one thing, he had come back with over 6 full bags of groceries. He threw the bags on the counter and sighed deeply, clearly exhausted from hauling them up to the third floor in one trip. He managed to get his body onto the counter. His legs were spread wide and he leaned his head against the cupboard above him.

"You didn't have to get all this stuff." Sabrina said, eyeing the bags once again. She began to frown as she tried to come up with a price tag for all the food he'd gotten.

"I've been here all week—I'm not going to let you feed me for free." He replied.

"I like when you're here." Sabrina started. "And you don't eat that much so I don't want you buying me all these groceries." She said matter-of-factly. Suddenly, she was traveling across the room. Keegan kept his eyes fixed on her body. He found himself hardening at the sight of her sexy outfit.

He was learning that she wasn't the type of woman to wear pants around her apartment. She had a large collection of oversized, slouchy long sleeved tee-shirts. They fell off her shoulder and tempted him with cocoa tinted skin. And when the material clung to her bottom as she strolled around the house—he usually had the flesh in his hands within a few minutes.

She found her purse and ran her hand through the lining.

"I don't know if this is enough or not." Keegan had wound his face into a mixture of anger and annoyance. Sabrina extended her hand to him and 50 dollars sat in her palm.

"Are you serious?" He asked incredulously. She gave him a look that said she was. "Sabrina, put your money back in your bag." His eyes didn't even meet hers as he said it. She took a breath to respond but Keegan interceded.

"You're going to get me upset." He ran his hand over his eyes as he exhaled that sentence. A small smile played on his lips, contrasting sexily with his statement.

"Just take the money Keegan." Sabrina whispered. A few seconds of heated tension passed before he spoke again.

"Look," Keegan hopped off the counter and stared deeply into Sabrina's eyes. They were only inches apart and she had to take a tiny step back to stop herself from accidentally touching him. "If you really want to give me something in return," His voice wasn't much more than a husky whisper. "get on your knees."

Sabrina audibly gulped. The liquid she had a hard time getting down her throat seemed to trigger moisture down below. Her heart was thudding in her ears as he awaited his request.

"What?" She croaked. She had no idea why she asked that, considering they both knew she heard him quite well. Her body's response was a clear indication. Keegan half smirked at her obvious surprise. He licked his lips and leaned into her right ear.

"I want you to suck my dick, Sabrina." She seemed to think it over for a few seconds before she began undoing his belt.

"Turn the food off first, baby." He told her thoughtfully. She looked over toward the cooking spaghetti and rushed to cut off the stove. When she returned, Keegan caught her chin and moved her eyes up to his. She didn't realize until then that she'd been avoiding his gaze.

"Relax." He pecked her promptly on the lips. She couldn't figure out why his request made her so uneasy. It was probably the fact that he hadn't made a request at all. He'd demanded her to give him pleasure, and for some reason, she loved it.

Sabrina got his jeans and briefs down to the ground. She followed them there and saw his semi hard-on threatening to poke her in the eye if she inched up any closer. She looked up at Keegan to see him conscientiously staring back at her. She guided his manhood between her lips and into her mouth. She carefully wrapped her thumb, index and middle finger around his shaft where her lips couldn't reach. In a mechanical motion, she used her digits to move the ivory skin up and down his dick.

Keegan was finding it difficult not to curse when they had sex. He knew she didn't like it, so he tried to keep his swearing to a minimum. But right now, he was biting his tongue—damn near piercing it entirely.

Her head was rhythmically tugging his length and stretching his dick to unbelievable lengths. Every time she bobbed away from his shaft, she'd lift her head toward the ceiling a bit. It allowed his skin to scrape over the roof of her mouth; the ridges sending an exhilarating chill down his spine.




Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 04



"Swallow." He grumbled the warning. Keegan didn't miss the flash of shock in her brown doe eyes. But nevertheless, she did as he asked. He blew his load right into the deep, wet cavern of her mouth. Sabrina could feel the strong, salty cum spilling down her throat. He kept his eyes fixed on her as he came. She could see his eyes turn to slits as he felt his orgasm's intensity.

She used the back of her hand to wipe her lips. She began to shimmy his underwear back up his thighs before he stopped her.

"I got it." He said tenderly. He offered her his hand and she took it. Keegan led her to her feet and immediately wrapped his arm around her core.

"Thank you." He murmured lovingly. Sabrina suppressed a smile.

"Shut up." Keegan leaned in to kiss her again. This kiss was little longer than the last but still put Sabrina in a daze. Keegan was astounded that he couldn't taste a trace of himself.

"You should brush your teeth and I'll finish the food." Keegan suggested. He shoved her lightly in the bathroom's direction and he watched her walk until she was no longer in view.

*

Sabrina and Keegan were allowing their dinner to settle in bed. Keegan had picked out a movie from Sabrina's large collection of DVD's and the laptop was resting on Sabrina's bare brown legs. Keegan supported her weight from behind with his back pressed against the headboard. He peered over Sabrina's large mane of hair and managed to get a clear view of the screen.

One of his hands was intertwined with hers, relishing in the smooth feel of her fingers. While another rubbed languidly over sleeping Venice's belly. The lithe dog was sound solid beside him on a cloud of sheets. She was finally getting comfortable with Keegan's presence.

Sabrina jumped minimally when the rumble of his chest vibrated along her spine.

"I think I want to look at some tattoos tomorrow. Do you want to come?" Keegan asked. Sabrina smiled, hearing the slight tiredness in his voice. It was a sexy sound and she knew he'd be asleep soon.

"Of course. What are you thinking about getting?" Sabrina asked quietly, her eyes still on the screen.

"No idea." He whispered on a chuckle. Sabrina joined in lazily.

"Maybe I'll get one." She said more to herself than to Keegan. She'd always been interested in a tattoo, but never found the opportunity to get one. But now she'd agreed to stand right inside of a shop. The fact that payday was vastly approaching only encouraged her.

"We can get a matching one." Keegan proposed. He'd said it as a joke, already knowing what Sabrina's reaction would be.

"Absolutely not." Her tone had Keegan's lips tugging into a laugh. A break settled between them.

"How's your writing going?" Sabrina asked.

"I'm catching up, but slowly." The topic made him look toward his laptop. With most of his time spent with Sabrina and the library, he was finding it difficult to write in his shortage of spare time. The reason partially being that he wanted to spend his spare time... with Sabrina.

"Keegan, I'm not going to be the reason why you never finish your book." Sabrina said it sternly but Keegan managed to laugh.

"Baby, if I don't finish my book, it has nothing to do with you." It had to do with his love for her. Well, considering on how you looked at it, it could have something to do with her. But he wouldn't allow her to feel guilty for his slowly attained dreams.

"I still want you to keep up with your writing, especially since you love it so much." She turned her body toward the left to see his face appear on her right. Keegan looked onto her upturned face and right into her brown eyes.

"But I love you more." Sabrina tried, she fought tooth and nail not to smile. Her brain was repeating how important it was to keep her resolve, but his eyes and sweet words were not to be competed with.

When Keegan saw her auburn cheeks rising and spreading her full lips, he couldn't help joining in. How can she be so gorgeous? Keegan kept asking himself. At 11 o'clock at night after a long day of work, she was still spectacular.

"You need to write more." She was trying to regain her nerve. Keegan dipped his head down onto hers to connect lips. He lightly suckled on her full lips. Their smoothness coaxed him to slip his tongue between them.

The thought of his dick filling that fleshy space got him hard. He pulled away from her face to bury himself in her neck.

"I think I could use my favorite snack." Sabrina gasped when his teeth grazed over her neck.

*

After a 30 minute run, Sabrina took her signature spot under her shady tree. She moaned out in pleasure when her back pressed against the secure skin of Earth. Her muscles thanked her for giving into gravity a little. Her chest heaved roughly and she fought for a breath.

"I thought," Sabrina could hardly finish her sentence. "this was supposed to get easier." She whined. Keegan looked down on her resting body.

Today she wore running shorts that she couldn't keep from riding up between her legs while she ran. They were only a few inches in length and a bright purple—all her workout attire was flamboyant. Her black sweat absorbent tank top pressed against her breasts while she lay down.

"It doesn't get easier if you eat Chinese food and taco's every other night sweetheart." Keegan said delicately. Sabrina laughed at his comment, but it dwindled down into a frustrated groan fit for a 4 year old kid.

"Food is just so good." She replied.

Keegan snorted. Sabrina was a good runner, they ran every Tuesday after work and for the most part, she kept up. She didn't quit and he was usually proud of her afterward. But when he heard her complain about how the scale wouldn't move, he could find something in her fridge that was responsible.

Keegan was content with Sabrina's body. She wasn't large at all, but she did have a few extra pounds he knew bothered her tremendously. He had tried to tell her they did nothing more than fill her out in the right places, but she was set on trying to fix it somehow. So he stopped trying to convince her, and started standing by her. He wanted her to love herself as much as he did.

"It's almost 7, Bri." Keegan said, secretly telling her it was time to get up. Sabrina slowly climbed to her feet and smoothed her two braids. The two walked toward the shrubs that they'd climbed through before and got out of the park.

They waited to cross the huge and busy city street. Keegan hadn't even realized he captured Sabrina's hand in his. It was a natural reaction when they were about to cross this 4 way street. It was probably because every time they'd crossed, Sabrina was always tired and straggling along. He was habituated to her soreness.

The couple got to the tattoo shop 10 minutes before their set appointments. It was the same shop Sabrina saw the day of their first date. The interior was captivating.

The walls were red brick while the floors were checkered black and white. A receptionist was nestled in the front corner. She had an elaborate sleeve covering her pale, lengthy arm. Her hair was some sort of pin-up style and her eyes were deep black. She gave them a welcoming smile.

"Hi, how are you?" She asked.

"I'm alright, yourself?" Sabrina and Keegan said the exact same words in unison. They gave one another weird glances before erupting out in a bellowing laugh. The woman timidly joined in, gazing at the outgoing pair. After they calmed, an opportunity for conversation arose again.

"Well I'm great. Thank you both for asking." The woman said, putting emphasis on the word 'both'. "So what can I do for you today?" She asked.

"We have 7:30 appointments, Sabrina and Keegan." Keegan said. The women rummaged through her computer until she nodded in acknowledgement.

"Give me one second. Have a seat and I'll be right back." She sauntered toward the back of the room and through some deep red curtains. Keegan and Sabrina found the couch and sat, silently staring down on their linked fingers. The deep brown and golden white were mesmerizing to them both.

A figure in their peripheral vision stole their attention. A short man with low cut hair followed behind the receptionist. He extended his hand for them to shake.

"I'm Harry." Sabrina and Keegan gave their names kindly.

"So we can look at some designs in the back and get started."

After a few more hours, Keegan and Sabrina both got their first tattoos. Keegan picked out an intricate tribal print. It was neat and eye catching. The placement was just right for the beginning of his sleeve; right over his shoulder. Sabrina was convinced that the pain wasn't much.

Keegan hardly winced when the needle came in contact with his skin. His reaction gave her confidence. But to say it wasn't even a little painful would be an understatement. Sabrina almost shed tears within the first few seconds. But she was thankful she only requested a quarter-sized butterfly on the inside of her wrists.

She was wary about how it'd show up on her dark skin, but their artists somehow made it work. The beautiful oranges and yellows of the monarch were vibrant against her complexion. The couple left the shop feeling connected and renewed.

*

"Hey mom." Keegan said with a smile. He'd called his mom with a motive; he was ready to tell her about Sabrina.

"You have to call me more often, honey. It's been like 5 days." He hadn't talked to his mom in awhile. Between working, maintaining his relationship, and having sex every chance he could, he hadn't had much time to check in at home.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll call you more often—I promise."

"Good." His mother took a light breath. "So how's everything going?"

"Everything is alright; I'm just now starting to really get down to writing. Quincy is really doing well at his job too. We've upgraded from Ramen to meals with actual nutrients so I think we're doing alright." Keegan joked, getting a chuckle out of his mother.

"How's dad?" Keegan asked.

"He's well—he asks about you all the time." Keegan hardly ever talked to his dad on the phone; his mom was a middle man for their communication system. But when they did talk, it never lasted over five minutes.

"You know what," His mom whispered. "I actually think he misses you." Wasn't he supposed to? Maybe Keegan was being too sensitive, but her comment hurt a little. To think his dad wasn't thinking of him at all was paining. But to add onto it, his mother was acting as if it was a rarity worthy of recognition.

"Wow." Was all Keegan's mind would allow him to reply.

"Bethany came by here a few days ago." Upon hearing Bethany's name, Keegan's nervous system seemed to enter shock mode. It was as if the name, his reason for even calling his mom to begin with and this setting were fatally clashing and wreaking havoc on his body.

Luckily, Sabrina was giving him some time to write. He'd brought his laptop over and he swore he'd spend at least an hour trying to get some of his thoughts down. So she was in her bedroom with Venice. Keegan quickly got off of her couch and silently unlocked her front door.

Without a shirt on, he walked down one flight of stairs to ensure he wouldn't be heard.

"Hello?" His mother asked after a minute of not hearing a response.

"Yeah, I'm here. So—um, what did she talk to you about?" He was curious to know what kind of information Bethany had been feeding his mother.

"She came in sobbing and crying. She told me you were stressed out from your writing and that you've been working too hard up there." His mother paused, however Keegan knew she'd start again. "But I find that hard to believe considering you told me you haven't written much at all." She was definitely skeptical.

"Did she tell you I broke up with her?" Keegan asked, ignoring his mother's assessment.

"Yes, she told me you rudely hung up on her after being so bad-mannered. Is that true?" His mother asked.

"I admit I could've been nicer about it but—"

"Keegan. I don't know what the hell is going on, but I know it consists of a lot of lying and taking you out of your character. You are a good boy and God is telling me that you aren't acting like it up there. You weren't raised like that." His mother was getting angrier and trying her hardest to be hushed.

Already knowing he'd been sought out, he couldn't bring up the strength to deny her accusations. "I'm done being that person." He said dejectedly. His mother was quiet on the line for a few seconds. She sighed in a way that signaled the conclusion of their call.

"I'm praying for you Keegan." He could hear the sadness and disappointment in her voice.

"Thank you mom, I love you." She'd hung up on him before he could get the words out.

He felt guilty, but his mother didn't know his situation. She didn't know that the reason Keegan had to go out of his character in the first place was because of his 'good boy' way of thinking. He was classically trying to consider everyone else's feelings before his own. That was the reason for all the unhappiness and confusion he'd ever endured in his life.

Keegan was a bit upset Bethany would drag his mother into her problems. People broke up all the time, but they didn't run to the other person's family after it happened.

Keegan made his way back up to Sabrina's apartment. He was surprised to see her standing beside the cracked apartment door, leaning against its frame. He was suddenly thankful he'd gone down the flight instead of staying in the hallway her apartment was located in.

She had a hand on her hip and her ankles were crossed. As soon as he opened the door, her eyes were fixated on his phone through the curtain of her frizzy hair. He clutched it tightly in his hand. Her expression was solemn and excruciatingly unreadable.

"Baby, I was talking to my mom." Keegan blurted the sentence into the open air carefully. His heart rate was progressively accelerating while he waited for her to respond. Tiny beads of sweat formed on his brow.

"In the hallway, Keegan?" She asked in a hushed voice. Her hooded eyes finally reached to his and his chest tightened at the look in her big chocolate eyes. She wasn't angry, but hurt. Keegan was now witnessing the latter could be much harder to confront; he'd feel a little better if she was livid.

"I couldn't get service in here, so I went in the hall." Had he just lied again? After promising his mother those days were over, he'd broken it within 15 seconds and without even thinking twice.

But he didn't have a choice. Telling her he talked to his mother in the hallway for any reason wouldn't end well, no matter what he said. He had to lie to her.

"Are you telling me the truth?" Keegan threw his cell phone on the couch beside him without even looking at where it fell. He took an assured step toward Sabrina.

He put both of his hands on either side of her face. His hands pushed back her messy fro so he could see her profile in its entirety. Her eyes were conveying her vulnerability and apprehension but he tried to project his faux confidence into them.

"Yes—I love you." He felt her throat flex as she took a rigid swallow. "Trust me?" With a few more seconds of intimately staring, she gave a tiny nod. Keegan, suddenly bombarded by relief, pecked her hard on her full and closed lips. His arms coiled around her shoulders and he meshed her body into his.

"I love you." He said it quietly again, almost begging her to understand just how much.

*

"It's healing up well." Keegan said, pulling down the sleeve of his shirt. He was getting Quincy updated on the status of his tattoo. He was applying the appointed creams at the assigned times and it was looking good. Sabrina's small tattoo was pretty much healed due to it's small size.

Quincy eyed it with an impressed expression.

"It looks good; it suits you." Keegan smirked and stabbed his fork into a steak fry.

"Thanks man."

"I think I'm going to move out." Quincy said. "I want to live a little closer to work." He picked up his burger and took a huge bite.

Keegan knew what his sudden urge to move was about. He'd anticipated it from the day they arrived in Maryland a month and a half ago. When Quincy got settled, his bank account would begin persuading him. The figures would tell him that he was worthier than their current, modest apartment. Luckily, Keegan had everything thought out; he'd save enough to pay the rent alone until his book was published. And that was exactly what he'd done.

"That's cool. I should be finished my book soon." Keegan replied nonchalantly. The two were casually having dinner at a diner near their apartment. Keegan suggested they spend some time catching up, considering Keegan was spending a large majority of his time with Sabrina.

"You're still going to stay there?" Quincy asked incredulously. Keegan gave him a weird look from over the rim of his glass of beer.

"Where else am I going to go?" He laughed. Quincy shrugged his shoulders.

"I figured you'd move in with your girl." Keegan shook his head minimally.

"It is way too soon for that." Keegan replied. "That won't be happening for at least another 6 months."

"6 months?" Quincy whispered, smiling. "I guess it isn't as serious as it seems huh?" Keegan had never been so whipped over a girl the way he was with Sabrina. So for some reason, he was kind of embarrassed to express his emotions to Quincy. It was so overpowering, he was sure Quincy would think he was a pussy and never understand.

"It's only been a month." Keegan replied, downplaying his feelings.

"Well I'm waiting to meet her." Quincy said as if he were Keegan's mother. The two both laughed at his tone.

"When I meet her family is when I'll consider bringing her to meet you." Saying the sentence aloud had Keegan thinking it over. He was interested in meeting her mother and sisters, but she hadn't said much about it.

*

"Jenny, I'm going to give you the anesthesia now." Sabrina announced. Jenny was a 17 year old patient who needed all four of her wisdom teeth pulled. She was extremely nervous and jittery, so Sabrina was glad she was about to get a healthy dose valium. Jen nodded her head in comprehension.

Sabrina picked up her syringe and pumped Jenny's gums full of the drug. Soon after, Rochelle entered the room and pulled on her gloves. Sabrina kept her eyes focused on Jen's mouth as she tried to dab the bead of blood dribbling from her punctured flesh.

"Count to 15 in your head, honey." Sabrina said. She watched as the girl gradually extended her blinks. Soon, she was out cold and Rochelle was ready to start the small operation.

It was quiet in the room, which was unusual when they were in one another's company. Sabrina was almost certain that the silence was due to her radiating attitude. Rochelle could probably sense her personal tension and was acting off of it. But Sabrina wasn't as bothered by their reserved exchanges; she wasn't in the mood for much more today.

They both reached for their goggles and Sabrina cloaked her hands in latex.

"Okay," Rochelle started, looking into Jen's open mouth. Sabrina shifted on her stool in preparation to grab a tool from the table. "There's some gum covering this bottom left so I'm going to do a surgical extraction." Sabrina quickly reached for the tool that would effectively saw away the piece of tissue. Sabrina used a clamp like tool to hold back Jen's cheek while Rochelle began working.

After a minute, Rochelle finally uncovered the entire tooth. She began to evaluate all the teeth for others that might've needed the same treatment. After she was satisfied, another request was made.

"Ready." Sabrina already knew what she was referring to. She handed her the drilling tool and continued to keep her cheek out of the way. When Rochelle had Jen's wisdom tooth into 4 pieces, she turned off the drill and faced Sabrina again.




Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 04



"I need you to help me fish the pieces out." Rochelle announced. Sabrina nodded and complied.

When all four teeth were out Jennifer was allowed to stumble out of the office in a drugged daze with the help of her father. She was mumbling something that gauze prevented from being audible. Knowing the effects of the drugs, it probably didn't make much sense anyway.

"Sabrina." Rochelle called. Sabrina was so busy watching Jennifer, she hadn't realized Rochelle was nowhere around. Sabrina turned toward the sound and saw her standing in front of her office. Sabrina followed her inside.

She sat in her office seat while Sabrina sat on the other side. The seat was plush and pleasantly comfortable.

Rochelle's office was simple and modern. The walls were blindingly white when the blinds were open. 'Dr. Schwartz' was displayed proudly on her desk tag beside a family photo. She, Mena and her husband Yoel were happily smiling under the powerful Caribbean sun from last summer. There were even a few photos of her and Sabrina on the desk too.

"What the hell is going on? Did he mess up already?" Rochelle asked, rummaging through her table drawer as she spoke. Sabrina shifted on her butt as if it would lessen her emotional discomfort.

"No, he didn't do anything wrong..." Sabrina dwindled off.

"Then what is it?" She threw a huge bag of candy between them and began sifting through it. She found her favorite chocolate candy; Twix. Sabrina didn't think twice about kicking off her shoes and grabbing a few pieces of candy herself. Something told her she'd spend her entire break in Rochelle's office, so she was set on being relaxed while it lasted.

"It's me." Rochelle gave her a weird look, beckoning her to continue. "I can't get myself to trust him." Rochelle gave her an exasperated look of annoyance. Her eyes rolled fiercely and she heaved a rugged breath.

"He must've done something; you were not like this last weekend."

"Lastnight, I was letting him write so I was in the bedroom. I came out to get a bottle of water and he wasn't there." Sabrina sighed deeply, remembering the suspicion and pain that she'd felt when she saw him at the bottom of the steps, talking with a hushed voice. "He went into the hallway to call his 'mom'." Sabrina grumbled with her jaws full of candy. "Not only that, but he went down a level to ensure I wouldn't hear him."

"So you don't think it was his mom." Rochelle stated. Sabrina held up her index finger while she cleared her mouth.

"It was his mom; I checked his phone." Rochelle gave Sabrina a look of utter astonishment.

"Sabrina, you shouldn't be searching through his stuff like that."

"I know, I know—I just looked at that one number though." Sabrina's justification fell short with Rochelle, and her expression said just that. Sabrina groaned. "But Chel, I was just hurting so badly. I wouldn't have been able to sleep if I'd just taken his word on everything." Rochelle seemed to think it over, battling on whether Sabrina was completely wrong or not.

"Well, what could he have needed to talk to his mom about that you couldn't hear?"

"That's what I've been trying to figure out all day." Sabrina said simply. She shook her head to herself. "Well, maybe he has someone else's name under 'mom." Sabrina said, her eyes glazing over as she thought of that possibility.

"Sabrina, can I be completely honest with you?" Rochelle whispered. Sabrina was startled by her change in tone. Her eyes were earnest while her brows were knit together.

"Yeah, of course." Sabrina was curious to know what she had to say, especially since she valued her opinion so much. Rochelle was like another older sister to her, but the only difference between her and Brittany, being her street smarts. Rochelle was brought up in a setting that drastically differed from Sabrina's.

While Sabrina laid in a comfy bed inside her single family home, Rochelle was raising two brothers in her parent's apartment while her mother worked two minimum wage jobs. It was clear Rochelle knew more about life and the struggles than Sabrina did so she respected her because of it.

"I think you have daddy problems." Rochelle cracked a smile at her own personal twist on trying to be honest. It was clear what she was trying to say, regardless of the somewhat humorous wording.

"What?" Sabrina murmured, trying her hardest to share Rochelle's same demeanor on the subject. It was hard considering Sabrina thought her best friend would side with her. Although now she was telling her that Sabrina was the one with the problem—she essentially couldn't rely on her own judgment because of her father.

"You can't trust Keegan because of your dad. He's ruined your perception of men. Don't lose Keegan because of him, Bean." Sabrina swallowed a lump in her throat. Rochelle continued. "Think about it; you're searching through his phone. And ya'll haven't even been together for two months yet. He's hasn't given you a real reason not to trust him yet you're treating him like he's already cheated before."

She wasn't the type of girlfriend to snoop in her man's things, especially when she'd promised he had her trust a few minutes before. Her father was no longer active in her life, but she was still allowing him to control her decisions as if he were.

Maybe seeing the capabilities of a man with disloyal motives had scarred her. But Keegan wasn't her father. She wouldn't apply his situation to him—Keegan was nothing like that. He wouldn't hurt her; he was completely in love with her.

Keegan was hers, and she was ruining it.

"I need to go. Can I get an extra half hour?" Sabrina's veins were pulsing full of adrenaline. She stood up mechanically. A flush of heat fell over her body, and she could feel sweat forming on her brow.

"Yeah—are you okay?" Rochelle asked, giving her a suspicious yet concerned look. Sabrina nodded convincingly.

"I'm fine. I just some extra time."

"Take it." Rochelle said, waving her off. Sabrina turned toward the closed office door and stepped into the hallway. She finally made it out of the front door and walked briskly down the city streets.

*

"My accountant is already working on my expenses and all that, so I should be out of this dam place by next month." Connor said, checking in some books at the front register. Keegan was a few feet away, sitting behind a small table and making up schedules for the tutoring space the library had available next week. They were sitting in a tiny yet thoroughly air conditioned room behind the checkout counter.

Connor was talking about his bar, and Keegan was quite happy for him. Not only because Connor was so passionate about starting his own business, but because he was worthy of it. It was clear he had an open heart of gold. Plus he promised Keegan free drinks on the opening day.

"That's awesome." Keegan gave him a fleeting glance matched with a smirk. "There aren't too many great bars out here either. Most of them are full of old people and bad music." Keegan knew firsthand how useless the bars were in the city.

He and Quincy were looking around a few weeks ago for a good place to get drinks. But everywhere they went, they were the youngest in the room; even the music had them beat at least two decades.

"I know, that's why I specifically chose this area—well actually that's why my girlfriend did." He admitted. Connor turned toward the sound of the opening door but Keegan kept his eyes focused. Whoever it was, Connor would help them if they needed it. After taking four hours to do library records alone that morning so that Connor could meet up with the said accountant, Connor promised to help anyone who needed it without the help of Keegan.

"Speaking of girlfriends...." Connor mumbled with a sly grin. Keegan's eyes shot up and out of the open door. Sabrina's pretty eyes were larger than normal and he immediately jumped out of his seat to meet her. His strides were large but measured.

"Sabrina?" He called as he walked out of the tiny room. She was trying to find a way to get on the other side of the counter without having to climb over it completely, which she was close to doing. Keegan could tell something was up; she was frantic.

"How do you open this?" She asked, feeling under the counter's surface for a lever. He could see she was quickly growing frustrated with the barrier. Keegan undid the lock and allowed Sabrina onto the other side. She closed the distance between them quickly. Sabrina locked her arms around his neck and tried to meet his lips.

Keegan grunted on a laugh. Sabrina inched back to look into his eyes.

"My hair, baby." Keegan whispered. She managed to pull on his scalp with her arms tight around his neck. Her arms were locked over his thin dreads and putting a strain on his roots. Sabrina smiled and positioned her arms under the curtain of hair. Sabrina lightly ran her hand over the curve of his smooth neck. Their eyes were fastened in a trance-like stare. She fell inside the deep pit of his smoldering grey eyes.

"Keegan, I love you." Her voice was soft so only their ears could hear. She felt his hold on her hips tighten minimally. He inhaled deeply.

The words were the sweetest sounds he'd ever heard. To know that his love was returned was an empowering feeling. Sabrina peppered kisses over his smooth jaw and on each corner of his lips. She moved her hands to graze the perimeters of his face.  

"I'm sorry," She said "I didn't trust you and I should've because you're everything I ever wan—"

Keegan had to stop her with a kiss. Not because he was so overcome by her words that he wanted to show her that affection, but because they were so untrue. The fact that she felt bad for being right and for following her instincts was eating at him. Now she was praising him as if he wasn't a liar and a cheat.

He pulled away and she gave him a warm smile.

"I love you too." He replied. Sabrina advanced for his mouth again just as he went for hers.

Sabrina parted first.

"Lets' go home—I want you to meet my best friend—and my family at church on Sunday." She said it all in one shortening breath. Keegan's pulse quickened with the suggestion of finalizing their relationship. Sunday was a few days away.

"Are you sure?" He asked, letting his nerves seep through in his tone's quality. Sabrina smiled, sensing his unease.

"I'm sure. You'll be fine. You can meet Rochelle—on Scandal Night." Keegan didn't even want to ask what the hell Scandal Night was; he was too afraid.

Sabrina was excited that her mom and sister would be meeting Keegan. She was almost positive they'd love him as much as she did.



Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 05



Sorry for the delay! Enjoy the next 2 chapters. 

CH 5

"Keegan," Sabrina cooed, trying her best to sound seductive. She was leaning out of the bathroom's entryway and peering down the hall. Keegan's back was facing her and he was hard at work on his laptop. Venice lay silently beside his feet and Sabrina smirked at the sight. She tried not to bother him while he wrote but she couldn't help herself tonight. She could see he was beginning to progress with his story and she was proud of him and even more proud of herself. Since she'd said the large 3 word phrase a couple weeks ago, their relationship seemed to strengthen significantly. They were cuddled beneath each other a sickeningly often amount but both were completely okay with it. 

Unfortunately, they had to cut back when Keegan really started writing again. It was difficult for Sabrina to have to come home and see him hunched over his laptop, only taking a break to come to bed and hold her until she fell asleep, which usually happened instantly. Her self-discipline was definitely being tested. 

"Yeah babe?" He replied distractedly. Sabrina pursed her lips at no one and sighed lightly. 

"I'm about to wash my hair... in the shower." She could feel her jaw plummet when he made no effort to acknowledge her after that statement. 'He's working, Sabrina.' She told herself, sticking up for Keegan and his disinterest. 

"Okay babe." He said, 5 seconds delayed. Sabrina groaned quietly as she turned into the bathroom. She shut the door behind herself and prepared for her solo shower. 

Tonight they were going to have dinner with Rochelle. She'd insisted they come early so that she could really get to know Keegan before Scandal began. After realizing how immersed they would be, Sabrina agreed that her idea was the best. Plus a fun meeting would definitely be good for her considering Keegan would be meeting her mother and church members tomorrow. 

Sabrina was hardly nervous. Although there was a slight nagging in the back of her head that wanted her pulse to race at the thought, it wasn't anything abnormal. Every woman was just the slightest bit cautious in regard to her boyfriend meeting her family. Keegan wasn't the type of guy that normally sat in the pews of her church. Most of the congregation and their members were clean cut and black. But that was typical; churches are the most segregated thing in America. And she was almost positive she wasn't the first black woman to bring a white man to church. However she might've been the first to bring such an eccentric looking one. 

She kept telling herself everything would be fine; they've all seen a white people before.

She started the water as hot as the knob would allow and began undressing. Slowly, the steam began to consume her body and she opened her medicine cabinet for her shampoo. She caught a glimpse of herself in the gradually fogging mirror. Her wild frizzy hair devoured her face and her brown skin was beginning to glisten. She licked her teeth and rolled her eyes in agitation.

She needed to kick her thumb sucking habit. The 3 year old metal nuisances in her mouth were becoming bigger burdens every day. But the habit was a lifesaver during her most stressful times. The act soothed her to sleep when nothing else would. 

The bathroom door slowly crept open and she smiled at the face that timidly poked through. 

"Hey pretty girl." He said sang huskily. Sabrina puffed out a laugh when she looked down at her hands bashfully. She brought her eyes back up to the mirror. They held eye contact through the reflection for a moment. He returned her smirk with one of his own and eventually came inside. As he ventured further into the space, he slipped his tee-shirt over his head. Sabrina's loins ached while she watched his chest muscles flex and contract. 

He made his way toward her and right away wrapped his arms around her naked body. She melted into his hold, savoring the firm feel of his chest against her back. Keegan dragged his lips down her collar, occasionally grazing his teeth over the burning skin. Sabrina shut her eyes and pressed her butt against him instinctively. His hardening prick threatened to separate the plush cheeks. 

Keegan slid his right hand over onto her left breast.

Once there, he twisted and tweaked her solidifying nipple between his middle and ring finger. She gasped rigidly and encased his rough, huge hand with hers. After coaxing the flesh to a protruding nub, his left hand trailed downward. Keegan smoothed his palm over her full thighs and Sabrina knowingly spread her legs.

When Keegan dipped his fingers into her wet hole, Sabrina rose onto the balls of her feet slightly. Keegan fought a smile. Her body was so receptive; his every touch had her squirming uncontrollably. He used her moisture to easily circle his fingers over her clit. He alternated between pressing onto her button and burying his finger into her pussy completely. Once he felt her climbing too high, he let her go and led her toward the shower. He held her hand until she safely stepped over the short wall of the tub. He'd taken off his sweats and joined her less than a second later.

Sabrina finally faced him and allowed the water to cascade down her back. She pressed her breasts against his chest and coiled her arms around his neck. She watched as his eyes zeroed in on her parted lips.

"I didn't think you heard me." She whispered. The water was now penetrating the barrier of her hair. She could feel the stream flowing down the bridge of her nose and fall from her full upper lip. Keegan's spread hands roamed over her lower half. 

"Well I did. Took me awhile to comprehend but I figured it out." He replied with a sly smile, showing off his deep cut dimples. Sabrina exhaled in satisfaction, basking in his sex appeal and the effects it had over her body. Keegan bent down momentarily and captured the back of Sabrina's knee in his hand. She held onto his shoulders for security since most of her weight was supported by him. Her steady foot was straining to touch the ground while he squatted to level his member with her opening. 

His grey eyes were fixed on what was happening between them. Sabrina took a hard swallow when he glided into her, trying to adjust to the intrusion. Keegan winced when her silken cave conformed to his shape. It felt as if her walls stretched to accommodate every vein and ridge on his dick.

"God..." He grumbled lowly. He pumped in and out of her slowly, grinding his hips to stroke with measured precision. Sabrina tightened her hold onto him in fear she'd grow too weak to carry the small amount of herself she could still control. Keegan in response tightened his arm around her waist, pulling her flush against him. 

Sabrina leaned her head backwards and toward the falling water. To feel the droplets freely splattering over her while being fucked so well was exhilarating. Her loud cry of pleasure echoed against the shower wall. 

She'd wanted to have shower sex with Keegan for awhile, and she was glad she had the chance. To not worry about her hair or her edges was a wonderful feeling; she could just focus on Keegan.

"Harder baby." Sabrina pleaded. Keegan immediately started pounding into her a little rougher. He guided her frame a few inches away from his just to slam them back together again. The sound of their wet sexes banging against one another was almost too much for Sabrina. The hand that was once cradling her upper half was now roughly pushing her pelvis into him from behind. It allowed his cock to plunge as deep as it could. Sabrina's tits were heavy with the force of his thrusts. 

Keegan was trying to hold out for her, but it was getting hard. Between her faltering whimpers, the feel of her plump ass in his hand and her captivating pussy, he wouldn't last much longer. Sabrina must've noticed the look of anguish on his face.

"Almost there, baby. Don't stop—please don't stop." Sabrina begged silently. She would've been better off not speaking at all, because her words only pushed him closer to the edge. Keegan closed his eyes and tried to focus on something other than her, anything would subdue the massive premature load he was about to blow. 

After 20 seconds or so, the sound of heaven rung in his ears. Sabrina's classic high pitched extended sigh signified her orgasm. She clawed over his back and scrambled to somehow hold him closer. Keegan wasted no time with cumming soon after. 

Sabrina managed to get on her own two feet. She put a little distance between them and looked into Keegan's grey eyes. Her hair was flat on her head yet held tiny, microscopic waves down to her shoulders. 

"Can you pass me my shampoo?" Sabrina asked. Keegan firmly placed his hand against the small of her back and pushed her forward. Once she was within distance, he pecked her roughly on the lips.

"Kicking me out already, huh?" He grumbled, stepping out. Sabrina watched his wet muscled ass until it was no longer in sight. 

"I just need to get my hair washed." She replied on a laugh. Keegan appeared again with the bottle in hand. 

He understood; she'd get nothing done if Keegan showered with her. He'd be too captivated by her sparkling, sudsy brown skin. Sooner or later he'd need to have her again.

"Thanks, I love you." Sabrina called after him.

"Love you too, Bri." He replied just as the bathroom door closed behind him.

*

Sabrina and Keegan were standing at Rochelle's front door. The lights were all on and it was somewhere around 7 oclock, so the sun was setting. Sabrina wore a plain black tank top with light wash high-rise jeans. The simple outfit was clearly catching Keegan's attention; he nearly wrestled her out the door. He was casual in cargo shorts and a tee shirt that showed off his just about healed tattoo. Sabrina's was pretty much fully healed considering it was so small.

Rochelle opened her front door, letting the brightness of the house hit them head on. She wore crème linen pants and a thin red wrap cardigan. It was a classic 'about to drink wine' look—something that Olivia Pope would wear herself. Sabrina rolled her eyes at her forced ensemble.

"I know you aren't eating curry chicken in that." Sabrina said skeptically, her eye brow elevated. Sabrina requested that Rochelle make her amazingly delicious curry chicken and yellow rice tonight. So far, Sabrina couldn't smell it and Rochelle's outfit wasn't telling her it was prepared.

"Actually, I decided to arrange baked chicken with a lemon sauce and mixed vegetab—" Sabrina's groan cut her short.

"I wanted curry." Rochelle turned off her Martha Stewart act after hearing Sabrina's whines. She stepped aside to let in her pouting friend and an observant Keegan.

"Well, I didn't make it. So shut up." Rochelle replied shortly. She led the way through her beautiful home and into the dining room. The table was set and everything looked good. Even if it wasn't curry chicken, Sabrina would still eat it. Rochelle could make any meal taste good so she wasn't worried about going home hungry. There were two large bottles of wine waiting to be severed. The condensation lacing the bottle's base tempted Sabrina and she couldn't wait to have a glass. But she noted that there were only 3 plates set.

"Where's Yoel and Mena?" Sabrina inquired. 

"They're over Yoel's parents' house—I'm sorry, I didn't even introduce myself; I'm Rochelle." Sabrina could see the twinge of emotion in her eyes when she admitted where her family was and it was clear she wasn't invited. But she shook Keegan's hand warmly.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Keegan." Keegan sat beside Sabrina after their small introduction. The three were silent while they made their plates. By the time everyone had what they wanted in front of them and began digging in, Sabrina was working on her second large glass of wine. 

"How long did it take you to grow those?" Rochelle asked, pointing her fork toward his dreads. He had a few locs at his temples tied around toward the back of his head to keep the others out of the way. Sabrina loved it when he fixed his hair like that; something about it was so sexy to her.

"A few years, maybe 5." He replied. They were getting long, now reaching mid-back length. He'd have to get them cut soon 

"I like them, they fit you." Rochelle complimented simply. Keegan smiled.

"Thanks." 

"No problem... so what do you do?" Rochelle inquired casually.

"I'm a writer but I also work part time at a library." Keegan told her, cutting a piece of chicken with his knife and fork. 

"Very cool." Rochelle responded. 

He looked over in the direction of Sabrina, she was abnormally quiet. She had a large chicken wing between her fingers. She was impatiently wrapping her lips around the meat, oblivious to the conversation around her. When she saw Keegan watching her devour her food as if this were her first meal, she smiled timidly.

"I'm hungry." She explained, covering her mouth full of food with her hands. Keegan raised his eyebrows in amusement as he turned back to his plate. She was slowly stretching past the lines of 'buzzed' 

"So what do you think about Maryland—Sabrina told me you aren't from here." Rochelle asked, trying to get to know Keegan. 

"It's great, I really love it here." He said honestly. Keegan loved his job. He'd made new friends and even got to be with his old one. All the while, getting to feel a sense of freedom that rejuvenated him every morning.

"Because of me." Sabrina added, smiling brightly as their attention suddenly jumped to her. Rochelle gave her an expressionless glance that signified her false annoyance. Even she could see her friend's growing intoxication. The liquid courage had Keegan seeing a side of Sabrina he'd only caught glimpses of. 

Right then, she was much more relaxed, as if it were possible. Her actions seemed to be the humoring thing about her when normally, it would be her wit and demeanor. She was smiling and chuckling all over the place and Keegan was enjoying the sight.

*

"That was really good." Keegan said on a laugh, leaning back into the dining room chair a little. Rochelle smiled proudly at his cleaned plate. He managed to consume a chicken breast, thigh, large spoonful of vegetables and extra mashed potatoes with gravy. Sabrina sucked her teeth.

"It was really good... But," She started. Rochelle's smile slowly drifted into a scowl at her tone. "curry would've been better." Rochelle pointed her finger toward Sabrina's plate.

"No matter what I would've made, your plate would look exactly like that. So be quiet." Rochelle returned her attention back to Keegan. Her expression was sassy and full of attitude. She dramatically put the back of her hand under her chin to support her head. Within two seconds, she'd transformed into a smiling host again. Sabrina scoffed and Rochelle tried to retain her own giggle as they both acknowledged her theatrics. 

"Let's play a game."Rochelle said, snapping her body upright. Her eyes were wide and engaged. Sabrina furrowed her brow and gave her a skeptical look.

"What game?" Sabrina said, her eyes low and her words sticking together just a little.

"We can play..." She seemed to think of a game, but Sabrina knew she already had one she wanted to suggest. "'How well do Sabrina and Keegan know each other?'" Sabrina looked to Keegan. His face was mellow, and completely at ease. He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and Sabrina turned back to Rochelle. Just as she was about to agree to play, she spoke again.

"Sabrina, what's Keegan's eye color?" Rochelle asked. Sabrina was confident in her answer.

"Grey." Keegan nodded silently, telling Rochelle that she was correct.

"And Sabrina's eyes are brown." It was no surprise that they knew that immediately considering they'd spent so much time committing each other's eyes to memory.

"Okay, Keegan what's Sabrina's favorite food?" Keegan chuckled quietly while Sabrina laughed loudly. He looked down on his hands with his lips squeezed in a tight smile.

"Either chocolate milk, if that's classified as a food or tacos." Sabrina and Rochelle both burst out into laughter. They both knew Sabrina's favorite food was tacos but to see that her boyfriend of only two months knew that instinctively was hilarious. 

"Let me do you," Sabrina said, overly eager. "Keegan, I think your favorite food is potatoes—like any food made from potatoes." Her hesitation was visible. Keegan wasn't really the type of man to have a preferred food, he just liked to eat. But he had a special meal that would always be one of his favorites. She looked into his eyes and cringed at what she saw.

His lids were slits as he looked back at her. The orbs behind them were carnal filled and daring her to read them. Unfortunately, she did and she suddenly knew what his favorite food was. Her pelvic muscles twisted below her and she could feel herself moistening. Keegan smirked when she adjusted her gaze away from him.

"Yeah," He started, turning his attention back to Rochelle. "I do like potatoes." Sabrina was trying to regain her composure. Being so turned on had her sobering up. Rochelle could sense the tension between the two and concluded that this little game was over. She pursed her lips at her recovering friend and stole a look at her wrist watch.

"Alright, go ahead into the living room and I'll get the nachos ready." Rochelle said. She got to her feet and began picking up dishes to bring into the kitchen. Sabrina was out of her seat first but Keegan was right on her heels.

*

Scandal was starting and Keegan sat beside Sabrina on the love seat. She had a large plate of nachos between them and her eyes stuck on the TV. Rochelle was a foot away with her feet balled under herself in the arm chair. Keegan was surprised to see an exact look of focus on her face as well. All lights were off and the screen lit the room. Keegan tried to keep up with the season recap introduction but gave up after the 10th unrecognizable face appeared. He settled deeper into the couch, already knowing an hour long nap was inevitable. 

But, the opening scene featured a white man and beautiful black woman tumbling around on a kitchen counter. The sight definitely brought Keegan's attention back to the TV. Maybe he could learn to love Scandal as much as the two women beside him did. 

*

"Sabrina, it's 6 o'clock." Keegan announced. Coarse palms along her cheek stirred her awake more than the actual words he'd said. His long dreads were dangling in his face and he quickly ran his hand through his crown to push them back. Venice shifted at the foot of the bed before she got up and left the room all together.

She groaned as she thought of the day she had ahead of her.

In all honesty, her stress was growing harder and harder to bear. She didn't want to believe her mother—or any of her family members had the capabilities of being a bit prejudice. But when she thought of how judgmental they were, she grew weary. 

Sabrina wasn't confrontational, and everyone knew that. If something was said to her that rubbed her the wrong way, she'd remove herself from the situation before she stood up and told the person off, although she never gave in. She might not stand up for what she thought was right with words, but with her actions. 

"I made you turkey bacon, eggs and a bagel." Keegan whispered, knowing food would get her awake a little faster. She slowly raised her eyelids and groaned.

"cheese?" She asked toward the end of a small stretch. Keegan smirked. She had on her colorful hair scarf, but it was nearly falling off of her head. 

"Come see." He replied. He stood up and began heading back out toward the kitchen. His baggy sweatpants were gently clinging to his bare hips. Sabrina leaned up and stretched fully, allowing her limbs to wake her further. She padded out of the bedroom and was surprised to see the set up on the counter. There were two plates covered in the food Keegan prepared with orange juice positioned nearby.




Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 05



She smiled in response, realizing that her insides were pleasantly turning. 

Keegan turned off the faucet and faced Sabrina. He put both hands on the counter and rested his weight into his shoulders. Sabrina watched as the muscles contracted to support the weight of his body. 

"Ready to eat?" He sighed with a smirk, taking note of her wandering eyes. Sabrina reached for the plates. Keegan grabbed the drinks and followed her toward her round dining room set adjacent to the kitchen. 

"What are we doing after church today?" Keegan asked, picking up some eggs with his fork. Sabrina pushed a breath through her pursed lips and shrugged lightly.

"Whatever you want to do, I guess." She grumbled quietly. 

"Well...Can we go on a date?" He matched her volume perfectly with his eyes still on his plate. Sabrina wasn't as moved by the question as she usually would've been, but it was still sweet.

"Sure." She replied, enthusiasm as far away from the sentence as possible.

The next few minutes were silent but soon Keegan spoke.

"Sabrina, I don't want you to be scared." He stopped eating and turned toward her, his eyes commanding her attention. She swallowed before she looked up, surrendering to his gaze and essentially confirming her own apprehension. "Whatever happens—however your mother feels towards me, won't change how I feel about you." Sabrina nodded before she spoke.

"It won't change how I feel about you either." She confessed. 

Keegan was more worried about Sabrina than her mother's opinion on him. Within the past day, she'd gone from completely at ease, to a fidgeting mess. He could her see her mind was working overtime while trying to think of everything that could go wrong today. But surprisingly, Keegan didn't care. Of course he wanted her family to love him, but according to Sabrina, there was a big chance that wouldn't happen. So Keegan expected and was prepared for the worst.

*

"Don't say anything about us practically living together." Sabrina whispered fiercely. She was marching toward the church doors with Keegan at her side. She gave him a fleeting glance, but returned it almost as quickly with an expression of disgust. 

"Keegan, wait." She said, pressing her palm firmly against his forearm. He stopped walking and faced her curiously. Sabrina began tugging and tweaking his collar from under the opening of his button down with purposeful motions.

Keegan allowed Sabrina to pick out his clothing for church, thinking it would help her achieve a must needed sense of control. So she picked out a grey shirt with fitting black slacks. She'd had them ironed and waiting from him once he'd gotten out of the shower.

He admired the raw expression of focus on her beautiful face.

"You look so cute." He said softly as she continued altering his shirt. Today she wore cropped tan slacks with a sleeveless navy blue paisley print blouse. She didn't think she'd be able to put up with her heels, so she settled with nude ballet flats. She'd twisted her afro-textured hair the night before, so it had a uniform curl down to her shoulders and a part down the side.

"Thank you baby—don't tell her you met Rochelle either. Just act like you don't know her." Keegan was getting really annoyed with the coddling and 'warnings'. She'd been doing it since they'd gotten in the car. He was desperately trying to hold his tongue but it was difficult. He was just ready for this day to be over so that Sabrina could finally relax and be the woman he was in love with.

"Or about how you were at my place the day I was really late to—" 

"Sabrina, cut it out." He grumbled whole-heartedly, hitting her with a warning of his own. The bass in his voice wasn't a sharp as it could've been, but she still knew he was getting irritated. She inhaled and exhaled roughly with a look on her face that conveyed her terror. She stepped away from him and put a hand on her hip with her face downturned. He admired how her natural hair shined under the sun's light.

"I'm sorry." She said inaudibly, looking incredibly defeated. Keegan had no idea who this woman was. Sabrina was typically carefree, fun and took everything as it came to her, but in regard to this, she was the complete opposite.

"Remember what I said." He reached out for her hand and laced her fingers between his. They walked toward the door hand in hand, until Keegan reached out to open it for her. When he stepped inside, he could feel the vibes rush him head on. It was an overwhelming experience that he didn't think he would ever forget. 

It was as if everyone inside the church was anticipating his arrival and the feeling radiated out of everyone's body to meet him at the entrance. He could see Sabrina somehow felt it too because she'd stopped walking and was paralyzed at the front door. 

Keegan didn't want to panic her or make her feel like this was a bad idea, so he decided to play it off. He was going to do everything he could to seem normal despite the fact that he was almost as intimidated as she was. 

"Bri, it's alright." He nearly mouthed. His head turned toward some movement beside him and he was met with an open archway. There were at least 30 people inside, standing quietly with their eyes glued on them. 

Sabrina was awe-struck. She hadn't told her mom much about Keegan, not even his name. Just that she'd be bringing her boyfriend to church this Sunday. So it was safe to say she had no idea he was white. But now that she was meeting eyes with over 15 extra people who never came to church before 8 o'clock, it was clear she'd told people. It was also clear that Keegan wasn't what they were expecting. 

Somehow her feet began taking her toward the room. Keegan followed her lead and was surprised to see people part ways to make room for her. The end of the human tunnel led straight to what Keegan knew was her family.3 women, all beautiful and obviously powerful people in the church. They were almost sneering at Keegan. 

"Hey." Sabrina said, edginess mixing with her sultry voice. The youngest of the 3 women and also the skinniest, spoke first.

"Hi, I'm Ivy." She announced, her smile warm and somewhat earnest. Keegan held his hand out to take hers. She was a serious looking teen yet still attractive. Her outfit was awkwardly conservative; her loose, bland skirt reached closer to her ankles than her knees and her shirt a matching style. She wore outdated wire rimmed glasses and her hair was tight on her neck.

"Keegan, nice to meet you." He replied.

"Brittany." The second eldest said, less enthusiastic as the first. Keegan shook her hand too. She was also beautiful. Her hair was full and straight while skimming her shoulders. She was dressed a bit more practically in a floor length green sleeveless dress.

It was obvious they were all waiting on Sabrina's mother to introduce herself, but it didn't happen at the appropriate time. There was a long break between Brittany's introduction and her mother's.

Sabrina could hardly withstand the pregnant pause that sat on her shoulders like a mountain. Her mother's already cat-like eyes were tinier than normal. It was obvious she'd gotten dressed in preparation to meet Sabrina's boyfriend. She wore black slacks that hid most of her heeled sandals. Her sea blue blouse was nicely loose and complimented her honey colored hair.

"Erica." It was so cold—so blatantly rude and unwelcoming. She hadn't even extended her hand for Keegan to shake. Her arms were folded firmly below her bust.

"Nice to meet you." Keegan replied. There was another 2 minute pause until a voice spoke behind them. 

"Hi, I'm Rochelle, Sabrina's friend." Keegan turned to smile mischievously into the familiar face. She now had a baby perched on her chest but still, she looked radiant. Keegan shook her hand, going along with the false prologue.

"Keegan." When he spoke, the baby's eyes lifted to meet his. He was captivated by her powerful stare, and they looked at one another for 5 very long seconds. Rochelle peered behind Keegan's body momentarily.

"Good morning ladies." She greeted briefly, just trying not to be as rude as they were. 

"Hello." Erica was the only one to reply. Keegan was comforted by the fact that he wasn't the most disliked person in the room; they clearly hated Rochelle too. He now understood his need to pretend as if he didn't know her. He needed a clean slate if he had any chance of getting on the women's good sides, and befriending their enemy wasn't the way. 

"Okay, she should sleep through the whole service."Rochelle handed Sabrina her child confidently. Sabrina took the girl in her arms and mimicked the position she was just in. 

"We'll see you later." Sabrina cooed while looking down on the baby. She gently pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes as she slept. Mena heaved a heavy sigh and both women smiled in response.

"Bean, we're going to sit down." Brittany announced while strolling past them. Sabrina nodded, not knowing what to say or whether the words would catch nervously in her throat. They had no interest in speaking to Keegan any further—that was clear. The room had cleared out significantly since their arrival. Sabrina could only guess they were going to discuss Keegan and Sabrina's relationship with each other. 

When her family was out of earshot, Rochelle took a secure step forward.

"Sabrina, listen to me." She started, narrowing her eyes and whispering fiercely. "Their opinions don't mean anything. You know why you love Keegan and that's all that matters. You can judge people yourself. You need to be able to handle this. " Sabrina silently agreed and Rochelle ran her hand down her bare arm. 

"I am." Sabrina whispered confidently. "It's just that they're my blood—I guess that makes it harder for me to come to terms with how they treat people. I want to believe that they can be different."

"I know honey." She responded. "But when do you stop hoping and start making some choices?" Would Sabrina have to start making assessments in regard to her miniature family of 3? She couldn't picture herself finally succumbing to their harsh way of living nor could she see herself continuously coping with isolation when she made her own decisions. Both of which were her only two options if she wanted her family in her life as actively as they were now. 

"I'm going to think about it." Keegan's heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. If she chose her family, she essentially wouldn't choose him. They'd be obligated to part ways and that didn't settle right with him. He felt like an asshole for wanting her to pick him over her sisters and mother, but he loved her too much to let her leave him so easily.

Rochelle smirked proudly, content with her friend's words. 

After seeing her friend struggle with trying to find her place within the trio for so long, she was ready to finally see her choose what was best for her. If their friendship was put on the line in order for her to achieve it, then she was fine with that. Sabrina's personal happiness was worth more than hers. 

"That sounds good to me." Rochelle bent forward to peck Sabrina sweetly on her cheek and didn't neglect her daughter either. "I love my girls." She sighed, glancing at them both with the smile of a conceited mother on her face.

"Shut up." Sabrina laughed while rolling her eyes. Rochelle joined in and a tiny piece of silence fell over them as she thought. She took a short breath and looked up at Keegan anxiously.

"I think I left my wallet on the front pew." Rochelle said, feeling around in her robe. Sabrina shifted Mena further onto her shoulder.

"I'll go get it." Sabrina said, knowing she wasn't allowed to walk back into the service room with her choir uniform on. It was a weird rule of the church, but like all the others, very important.

When Sabrina was out of earshot, Rochelle turned to Keegan.

"Know that she may choose her family over us, but I don't want to taint her decision because we want her in our lives. If you really love her as much as it seems you do, you'd want her to be happy with the decision she makes. She can always get another boyfriend or best friend, but her mother is irreplaceable. " Keegan was grounded by her words and stood left feeling vulnerable and raw. He swallowed hard before nodding in honest understanding.

He'd have to let her choose.

*

Keegan, Sabrina and Mena didn't sit next to Erica, Ivy and Brittany during the service. Instead, they sat in the back of the church at Sabrina's request. The last pew allowed her to feel a little more protected from the piercing scrutiny she knew would be inevitable. 

She was honestly ready to leave but if Keegan hadn't convinced her that it was cowardly to do so, she would be home in bed waiting for Rochelle to come pick Mena up from her apartment.

Sabrina felt hollow, empty and completely confused. Her confusion stemmed from how much she differed from her siblings. Her sisters didn't even bat an eyelash at their mother's unnecessary iciness. They held no compassion toward Sabrina, Keegan or Rochelle. Instead they backed up her actions and detached Sabrina from her family once again.

Although Keegan wasn't concerned with her family at all. He was focused on Sabrina and the task of trying to calm her while she thought. He held a tight hold on Rochelle's earlier statement and realized that she was right. He was selfish for wanting Sabrina to pick a 6 month relationship over a 24 year one.

She held his hand the entire service while she used her other to hold Mena. 

When the service was over, Sabrina instantly began to prepare herself for her mother's 2nd appearance. She frantically handed the baby to Keegan while she gathered Mena's things from under her seat. She zipped up the diaper bag and placed it on her lap. When she lifted her eyes, Erica was in her line of vision. She stood tall in the aisle of the pew in front of Sabrina. 

"I'll call you later." She stated simply, not even recognizing Keegan. She didn't wait for a response, but turned on her heels and sashayed out of the service room. Sabrina gawked after her in complete astonishment. 

*

"I'm not good enough for them." Sabrina sobbed. She sat on the edge of her bed with her body slumped forward and limp. Keegan sighed deeply.

"That's not true baby—let me take off your pants." He gently leaned her back onto her comforter. She stared at the only piece of ceiling she could see through her tears. Keegan unbuttoned her slacks and quickly slid them down her thighs, revealing cute granny panties. 

"They look down on me because I don't live how they ask me to." Her tears fell harder and Keegan urgently shed himself of his pants and shirt. When he was down to his briefs, he peeled back the covers and slid beneath them. He grasped Sabrina's hips and urged her body toward his. He could feel her tears on his bare chest and he gently slid his hand up and down the length of her back.

"Can I say something?" He asked, after she'd settled down a bit. Sabrina coaxed him on with her silence, and only small hiccups filled the space. Keegan sighed and leaned his chin onto the top of her head. 

"They love you." Sabrina chuckled stiffly.

"I can't remember the last time any of them said that to me." She pressed her cheek against his warm body; his heartbeat became a clear sound in her ear. "You were the second person to tell me that in 8 months." She admitted. Keegan already knew the first was Rochelle. 

*

Sabrina wasn't surprised when Keegan was sitting on the edge of the bed, stirring her awake as he normal was. The room was dimly lit by the window behind them and she wondered how long she was asleep. He was dressed nicely in fitted black jeans and a deep green Henley tee. His hair was in a high, messy bun atop his head and he gazed down on her delicately with contrastingly tense grey eyes. Sabrina stared at him for a second, basking in how good looked. 

A sweet aroma radiated off of him and she inhaled deeply. 

"You smell nice." She whispered in a raspy voice. He cracked a tiny grin and snorted on a laugh.

"Thank you." He replied, running his hand over her hairline and down her crown. He slowly crept forward and aligned his lips with hers. Sabrina deepened the kiss by wrapping her forearm around his neck and pressing her breasts flush along his chest.

"Bri—" Keegan started against her lips. Sabrina's groan of displeasure cut him short. She broke their kiss and looked at him pleadingly.

"Please," She whispered with saddened eyes. "Just take care of me really quick and I'll get ready in 10 minutes." She smiled toward the end as he gave her a disbelieving look. Even she knew she was exaggerating a bit. There was no way in hell she could even prepare for a shower in 10 minutes. 

"You'll have 30 minutes because our reservation is in 50." He told her sternly. Sabrina's smiled broadened as she crashed her lips back onto Keegan's.

Keegan slipped his tongue between her lips and gently caressed the insides of her burning mouth. He could feel the tiny ridges of her braces, and the texture excited him. Sabrina moaned pleasantly, momentarily lacing their kissing noises with the carnal sound. Keegan supported his weight above her with both hands while she buried hers into his scalp, soothingly massaging the follicles. 

Keegan could feel the sheets brush against his lower half as Sabrina began grinding her legs together to relieve the heat growing in her pussy. Instinctively, Keegan used one hand to pull the obstruction from her bare thighs and replaced it with his palm. 

Sabrina marveled in the feel of his coarse hand running across the surface of her recently shaved skin. He pulled her leg up toward his hip and skimmed its length until he reached her bottom. Once there, he squeezed and kneaded the flesh until he'd grown too turned on to continue second base. He ended their long kissing session and used both hands to shimmy down her panties. He looked into her eyes briefly and noted her look of anticipation; her big brown eyes were low and her lips parted.

Keegan ran his hands through her lightly curled mound gingerly before parting her full thighs to get a better view. He kissed down the extent of her thigh and over the lips of her pussy. She exhaled audibly when he dipped his tongue into her opening. Keegan looked up to see Sabrina had taken out her tits and began tweaking her hard nipples. Keegan swiped his fingers against her clit furiously.

Sabrina moaned loudly and elevated her hips instinctively. He slowed down; not wanting her to cum so quickly. He put his lips back to hers and sucked roughly onto her bud. After a few more seconds, she began panting out her cries of satisfaction. Keegan slipped his fingers into her hole and rotated them upwards, allowing the pads of his fingers to press against her spot. He hated to do that, but they didn't have time for the long teasing spiel. 

"Ah," The little breathy word marked the start of her orgasm and the release of her vaginal muscles marked its conclusion. Keegan pulled his fingers from her grasping pussy and sucked off her juices as if it were honey that had casually dripped on his fingers. The act sent a shiver into her still quivering loins. 

"God, you taste so good." He growled while bending down to kiss her exposed nipples. He then followed it with a peck on her lips. "Now go get dressed."

*

Sabrina and Keegan were walking hand in hand along the dark downtown streets. It was in the same area they shared their first date, first tattoos and first meeting. But instead of the crab place they'd went to, Sabrina suggested they try something different. So tonight Keegan was taking her to a Hibachi restaurant a few blocks away. He'd parked a bit of a distance from the eating place, but Sabrina promised she was fine with the walk. It was definitely crowded this Sunday evening, and they'd spend all night trying to find a decent spot to park. Sabrina successfully managed to get dressed in 25 minutes and Keegan's driving gave them 15 minutes to spare.




Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 05



"You feeling any better?" Keegan asked, looking down on her. Tonight she wore a stylish jean dress. It had cuffed ¾ sleeves and reached an inch above her knees. A braided brown belt cinched her waist and emphasized her pear shape while silver sandals sat on her feet. She didn't feel like carrying a purse and Keegan assured her she had no reason to, so she'd left everything home. 

"Yeah—sorry for crying like that. But that nap did do wonders." She laughed. "I'm usually a lot stronger than that, but it's harder with them." 

"No need to explain, I get it." And he really did get it. Keegan had a similar experience with his father. He knew it was difficult to deliberately and continuously disappoint someone who wasn't replaceable. But it was also even more difficult to live your entire life for someone else. It took time, but he eventually got to the place where Sabrina was headed.

"Thanks." She said. "I just want to have fun with you tonight." Her last sentence was more of an exhaling sigh. Fun was one of the reasons she'd chosen Hibachi over all the other expensive restaurants nearby. It was almost certain that food flying toward her mouth could bring her happiness. 

*

Sabrina and Keegan took their seat at the large Hibachi style table. Their chef stood in the center, waiting for the others to take their seats as well. He was a serious looking Asian man and extremely intimidating. A few older women sat to Sabrina's left, chattering quietly.

They were well dressed and clearly just enjoying their night. One of them glanced in her direction and gave her a sweet smile. Sabrina returned it with one of her own before she began laying her napkin over her lap.

Keegan was reclined deeply in his seat beside her. She laughed at his bored expression and glided her hand down his thigh.

"Hungry?" She asked, already knowing the answer. He usually got really impatient when he was hungry, especially when waiting for food. He smiled at her for knowing him so well before nodding sheepishly. The scooting of a chair on Keegan's right brought their attention in that direction. A black couple, probably in their mid 50's, took their seat on the adjacent side of the table. 

The woman was gorgeous, with almond brown skin and glossy hair styled short in a pixie cut. She was slimly built, curving lightly in expected places. Her partner was large in mass but not quite overweight. He had a handsome face that was contorted into a nasty grimace. Sabrina looked toward the direction of his gaze to see it was unashamedly for Keegan. Sabrina was frightened to see a similar expression on Keegan's face too.

When Sabrina raised her gaze toward the couple again, they both held that same emotion but now, it was directed straight between her eyes. She recoiled at the intensity and an image of her mother and sisters sharing those exact gazes flashed to her. 

Keegan tensed when he saw them zoning in on Sabrina. It was more than obvious their concern was centered on race. But Sabrina had been through enough today and he wasn't going to let anyone, let alone strangers, add to it.

Already feeling his anger rising to a confrontational level, Sabrina spoke.

"Keegan, it's alright." She whispered, not leaving their gaze. She smoothed her hand over his thigh a few more times. She noted how their scowls deepened when she showed Keegan affection. Somehow, the feeling of further angering them excited her. It almost made her want to laugh, and she knew this would be an interesting dinner. 

Sabrina could see that Keegan had calmed down a bit yet was still on his toes. She kept physical contact with him as much as she could; part of the reason being that she wanted him to stay in his current relaxed state and the other reason was to annoy the couple eagerly watching them.

A burst of heat in front of her grabbed her attention. Everyone looked forward to see their chef sautéing shrimp in a huge heap of flames. Sabrina's mouth began to water at the sight. Once they were thoroughly cooked, the chef began searching for participants to begin tossing them.

He gave everyone around the table inquisitive glances and surprisingly, everyone declined. But when he got to Sabrina, she giggled before she opened her mouth wide. Keegan chuckled at her over eagerness. The chef smiled slyly before doing a 360 and using his spatula to toss a shrimp her way. 

Sabrina kept her eyes on it and tried to follow its direction with her head. Just when she thought she'd get it, another frame splayed itself over her lap and stole her shrimp out of thin air. The table erupted out in laughter—all except for the pointlessly angry couple. Keegan returned to his spot in the chair and smirked at her while chewing her piece of shrimp.

Sabrina was practically glaring at him. He choked out a laugh and pecked her pursed, rigid lips. The feel of his flesh against hers had subdued her light irritation and her cheek rose slightly.

"Take my food again," She started half-heartedly, "there will be problems." She tried not to cower away from Keegan's nearing smile. His face was getting closer and closer to hers. 

It was more than obvious he was putting on a show for their admirers, and Sabrina was fine with it. 

"Oh really?" He mumbled low enough for only them to hear. She gave him a smug look, almost daring him to kiss her. Although she felt them growing a bit too intimate for the comfort of a public restaurant even though she did want to go along with his schemes. So she turned her head abruptly and focused on the chef. She nodded to signal she was ready for her second try. 

He flung her a piece of shrimp and this time she caught it without any interference from Keegan. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until the perfectly seasoned seafood landed on her tongue. She gave Keegan a wide eyed look and moaned aloud. 

"It's good isn't it?" He asked her. She nodded furiously, mesmerized by the tasty food. She looked toward the chef for more and he chortled while positioning her second piece. 

*

Sabrina and Keegan ended their date night with a nap at home instead of the movie which was originally planned. But they were both full and exhausted after their long day of church, even after the nap. The next morning, Sabrina awoke before Keegan; something that rarely occurred. 

She sat on the toilet to release the Hibachi dinner she'd had the night before. She was slumped over her legs, letting her mind wander aimlessly toward time consuming thoughts. A knock on the door brought her out of her trance.

"I'm pooping." Sabrina whined. Keegan's drowsy chuckle was muffled by the wall's barrier. 

"I have to pee." He complained. Sabrina was about to reply when the door just flung open. The toilet was along the same wall as the bathroom's entrance so she had a clear view of his intrusion. Keegan barely spared her a glance as he stormed inside. He walked toward the tub and stood positioned himself above the drain. The curtain was peeled back to Sabrina could see him perfectly. He pulled his briefs down just enough to allow his dick to spring out.

He began relieving himself inside the shower, a grimace on his face as he did. Just as quickly as the smile came, after a deep inhale, it contorted into an extremely humorous expression of disgust. Sabrina burst out into an uncontrollable laughing fit at his response. His movements became rushed and he was nearly running to the door. Sabrina pivoted her body on the toilet so that she was facing the wall adjacent to his destination. She put her feet up against the exit and gave him a mischievous smile. Since the door opened inward, he had no way of getting by her. 

"You're about to miss the finale." She whispered seductively, giving him an evil grin. As she said the sentence, she forced out a small toot. Keegan honestly looked as repulsed as he could ever look, which surprisingly only made the situation funnier to Sabrina. He picked up her legs and began to pull them off of the wall they were resting against. Sabrina squealed as her body leaned forward and she fell clumsily off of the toilet and loudly onto the floor. Keegan noted the muffled sounds exiting her lips and she laid face down on the linoleum with her underwear around her ankles.

"Sabrina, you okay?" Keegan asked, worried his playfulness had gone too far. He bent down to press his palm against her upturned back. She eventually turned around to reveal that she was laughing to the point of suffocation. The sounds were getting caught in her throat and sounded a lot like soft crying sobs when pointed downwards. Keegan, eased to see she wasn't hurt, leaned up to his full stature. But that only allowed him a clear view of what was in the toilet, and that caused him to gag roughly before storming out of the bathroom to leave Sabrina crying on the floor. 

*

Keegan had gone back to bed after their hilarious yet disturbing bathroom meeting. She didn't have to work today and Keegan's shift at the library didn't start until 1 so there was time to spare. Since Sabrina had an early start, she decided to put together breakfast. She inaudibly padded out of the living room in only Keegan's huge Polo tee-shirt and underwear. It was one of her favorite shirts to wear and Keegan had graciously given it to her. She loved it because the inner lining was soft to the touch. It caressed her body comfortingly while she lounged around with her thumb securely between her lips. 

Sabrina got out a carton of eggs and began the steps of preparation. 

A call from her mother was estimated to come in around 4 o'clock—Sabrina was almost certain. But, contrasting with yesterday's feelings, she was ready. A piece of her almost wanted her to call earlier, just so she could defend Keegan as best she could and get it over with. The fact that he urged her to choose her family over him proved why she'd never be able to and why she loved him so much. 

She unconsciously sighed.

These were the moments where she missed her father. He was probably the only person on this Earth that knew her best. They'd been best friends up until the incident that tore them apart. Out of all her sisters, she took the divorce the hardest. Sabrina was distraught for only a very short amount of time. She could remember sitting in bed, staring up at her ceiling fan at the age of 15 and just wondering where she'd gone wrong. What didn't she have that would force him to volunteer his seed to another woman? 

But her sadness swiftly morphed into rage. It was the same fury that sat inside her to this day; still as vibrant as the day it was formed. He had gone from a kind, understanding daddy to a lying, cheating, greedy stranger.

He'd left her in this manipulative group of vultures completely defenseless. There was no one there to stand up for her like he'd always done. He would put some bass in his voice when her mother tried to force her along to all the church affairs when all she wanted to do was play. Erica eventually gave up, murmuring something involving the word 'heathens'. They'd stand at the door side by side and watch Brittany follow their mother with Ivy trailing behind. Even then, they were a trio that excluded Sabrina. But at that moment, it didn't matter because she was with someone who was also standing on the outside. She had a parent who knew her, cared about her interests and would help her make them apparent to her mother and sisters. And that was something she thought she'd have forever. 

She prepared the meal without paying full attention to what she was doing. Half of her mind was unconsciously making decisions on when to flip the French toast or check on the bacon inside the oven, but the other half was racing uncontrollably. It was constantly filling itself with the biggest, most complex aspects of her life and the situation before her that needed to be dealt with.

*

"Her mom hates me—actually her sisters do too." Keegan told Connor. Today was a slow afternoon at the library, so they both decided to catch up on shelving returned books. Connor was on the other side of the room yet they could still hear one another clearly.

Keegan hated to admit it, but he and Connor were growing closer than he and Quincy were. Part of the reason being that he only went to his apartment every two weeks, while he had to work with Connor every day. He and Quincy were both so busy that it was getting harder to make plans suitable for them both.

"And you're sure it has to do with race?" Connor asked. 

"Yeah," Keegan replied. "What else could it be? She doesn't know anything about me." 

"Are you sure? Sometimes when you don't shave you look like an old hobo..." Connor couldn't even finish his sentence because of the look Keegan was shooting him. He burst out into laughter. Keegan however, didn't share Connor's same amusement. Sooner or later his friend had caught onto his mood and settled himself.

"Sometimes this happens, Keegan. But if she's still around then it means she's unaffected by it. So you're fine; relax." Connor took a reflective pause. "Lacey's dad hates me." Keegan shot his friend a glance from across the room.

"Yeah," He responded to his unspoken disbelief. Connor and his girlfriend Lacey had been dating for over 3 years. He spoke of her all the time, as Keegan did Sabrina. But over the course of time Keegan had found that Lacey was very loyal. "He didn't think I could take care of his daughter while trying to fulfill this 'bullshit dream'." Keegan knew those were her father's exact words based off of how Connor spat them out.

While Connor was trying to get his bar idea rolling, she'd kept him motivated to continue when he felt like the effort would never pay off. They'd made investments and had many moments where he would lose sight in his lifelong dream and get too caught up in his temporary job. But Connor had told Keegan, she was the reason he had gotten so far. He never thought he'd get in so many arguments where someone else was defending his dream and he was shooting it down. 

Keegan then shared a similar situation with Sabrina, leading the men to believe that they'd had the women every man would want. And as far as Sabrina was concerned, Keegan was convinced that was true.

"I was hopping from job to job—just trying to get the shit off the ground in a reasonable amount of time. But the years were stretching and he seemed to hate me more and more. He'd try and make Lacey see how I would never get it together. Although Lacey knew how much it meant to me to have my name attached to a business, so she stayed."

"Damn," Keegan started, "she stuck around for 3 years... I think it's time for a ring." He suggested, giving him a sly smile. Connor returned it, nodding in agreement with his lips pursed.

"I think so too." He mumbled. A vibrating sound filled the large space and Keegan looked toward the checkout counter to see his cell phone illuminated. He rushed toward it, remembering that Sabrina was expecting her mother to call soon. He hoped it wasn't her, calling because it hadn't gone as well as she thought.

He was relieved to see it was his mother. He stepped into the back room and took a seat on the black futon couch. 

"Hey mom." He greeted. He was considering calling her tonight too. Although since he hadn't, she'd never believe him. 

"Keegan, this is getting too ridiculous. We need to make up a schedule or something because you just aren't calling me enough!" Keegan scooted deep into the cushion so that his head rested against the low back of the chair. 

"Okay, tell me the schedule and I'll follow it." He said.

"Call every Sunday evening and if you're busy then, you call me Monday evening." 

"I like that—I get a little backup day."

"Yeah but you better use it. I hate having to call you all the time. Denise gets a call from Quincy every other day; why can't I get one from you at least every week?" Keegan rolled his eyes at the comparison. 

"Quincy also gets thousand dollar allowances from his mom every two weeks." Keegan said bitterly. He quickly regretted the words once it was too late. 

"What?" His mother whispered in a voice of shock. He groaned aloud and then sat his hand over his eyes out of frustration with himself.

"Yeah but don't say anything about it." Keegan said. 

"I won't, I won't." She sighed deeply before speaking again. "I can't believe that even in a situation that requires independence he's still... spoiled." That was Quincy. He was always a high maintenance kid and was groomed to be a high maintenance man too. 

"Well, that's Q." Keegan chuckled. He swallowed roughly before he spoke again. "Mom I actually wanted to talk to you about something." His mother sat patiently on the other line.

"I have a girlfriend." 

"I knew it! You've had one this entire time haven't you? She's why you broke up with Bethany, why you haven't been writing or calling me!"

"Hey," Keegan sat up a little straighter in his seat. He knit his eyebrows together tightly while his blood heated slightly. "She's been pushing me to write more. I hadn't been writing because I didn't want to. But I'm done ¾ of my novel because of her. And I broke up with Bethany for her, not because of her." Keegan needed to clarify the tiny aspects of his relationship with Sabrina. He didn't want them off on the wrong foot before they even met. 

"So you're saying she doesn't know about Bethany?" His mother asked. 

"No, and I don't have any plans on telling her." Bethany was Keegan's past that just so happened to momentarily bleed into his present. But as of now, her small part in his relationship wasn't important. 

"Are you sure that's the right choice?" Keegan barely took a second to think it over.

"What would anyone get out of it?" He asked rigidly.

"Keegan, honey you can't be serious?" Silence proved he was. "You cheated, for God's sake. Then not to mention how many times you've lied about it all just to save yourself. You don't think she deserves to know what kind of things you're capable of?—The type of man she's committing herself to?" Keegan was at a loss for words. Not because he was dwelling on the nature of his mother's words, but because he didn't care for them. Bottom line was that he'd never voluntarily jeopardize his relationship with Sabrina.

"Every phone call is more shocking than the last." She reflected. Keegan flexed his neck in discomfort and sniffed roughly.

"Have a good night." She said quietly before she hung up in his ear.



Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 06



CH 6

*

"Hello?" So far so good. The answer was secure and stern, the way she'd intended it to be. Sabrina twiddled with a loose strand of fabric hanging from the corner of her comforter between her folded legs. A thick clump of her matted hair fell in her eye, but she made no attempt to move it.

"Sabrina, it's me." Somehow hearing her full name paired with her mother's voice still made her cringe. She chopped the syllables so much that it almost added a sharp ring to the sound. 

"I know ma." She said simply.

"So, how are you?" Sabrina almost scoffed. Was she really trying to make small talk as if Sabrina didn't know why she was really calling? 

Not wanting to disrespect her, she responded, "I'm alright. I didn't work today so I've been cleaning up the apartment." And that was true. To take her mind off of her thoughts, she decided to do some serious scrubbing as well as the laundry.

"That's good... Is um... What's his name—I forgot already." 

"Keegan." Sabrina said dully. 

"Yes, Is Keegan working today?" How clever. Erica was slyly trying to ask if Keegan was employed and what he did.

"Yeah, he's at work now." Sabrina admitted.

"And what does he do, might I ask?" Sabrina momentarily shut her eyes. The formal antics were definitely getting on her nerves ridiculously fast.

"He's a writer and he works part-time at the library in town." Sabrina could feel her mother's shock.

"Part-time?" 

"He's just working there until he publishes his novel." Sabrina really wasn't putting too much effort into showing emotion when she responded. She was just trying to speed this phone call up as much as she could by giving straight forward answers.

"Mhm..." She said. A deep sigh over the receiver signaled the change in conversation Sabrina was waiting for. "So Bean, what do you think that man wants with you?" 

"What?" Sabrina spat, not believing what her mother was getting at with her question.

"Obviously you don't think he will start a life with you?" 

"Why won't he?" She was beginning to react, which was something she didn't want to do. The fluctuations in her tone signified her mother's effect on her. 

She laughed.

"Men like that don't want to marry you. He will get what he wants, if you haven't given it to him already," She held a voice of loathing toward the end of her last phrase, "and then go back to what he knows—what's accepted by his mother." 

"You have no idea what Keegan will do because you didn't take the time to get to know him." 

"Please, Sabrina. Grow up. I bet you have no idea who his mother is or anything about his life before you besides a few little details." Sabrina was silent on the other end, just breathing steadily as her words processed.

"A naive little black girl," Her mother cooed while laughing cruelly in her ear. "perfect one to scratch off his bucket list." Erica did a tiny reflective noise. "Then he can tell all his friends and they'll cheer for him and make him feel like a king for getting you in bed." 

"He will leave you high and dry—mark my words." The line ended loudly in her ear with a click.

Sabrina really didn't know much about Keegan's mother now that she thought it over. She just knew about the larger pieces of his childhood, but nothing about the specifics. They were entering their 5th month of exclusive dating; he couldn't hide her for much longer without it becoming suspicious.

Maybe that was why he'd been so secretive when his mom called—to avoid having to explain the girlish voice in the background. Sabrina sank deeper into her mattress as more stress and confusion poised itself onto her lap. 

*

Sabrina struggled to open the door to her apartment. Venice was settled in her hold with a sheet covering her body. 

One thing about having a dog in an apartment complex that specified no pets in its contract, was that the dog still needed to be walked. Venice usually used pee-wee pads located in the laundry room but Sabrina still tried to walk her as much as she could. After the tense, mind rattling conversation with her mother, Sabrina figured it would do them both some good to get fresh air. So she cloaked Venice in her arms and loaded her into her car as fast as she could. They usually walked in the town home neighborhood located 2 minutes away from her apartment center. But when Sabrina was in the mood for something more extreme, she'd travel over to the park where she met Keegan.

Keegan was putting away some groceries in the kitchen. He barely acknowledged Sabrina's presence, but she was much too out of it to realize his attitude. She put Venice on the ground and kicked off her sneakers. She wore a pair of leggings with a baggy t-shirt and put her hair into a ponytail over her crown. 

She made her way into the kitchen to feed Venice. The dog followed her eagerly, knowing it was her favorite time of the day. Keegan glanced behind himself to see Sabrina bending over, putting food into a bowl.

"How was the call?" Keegan grumbled behind her, seeming uninterested and distracted. 

Sabrina didn't want Keegan to know all of the hurtful things her mother had said. Not because she was worried about how he'd feel, but because she didn't want him to change his game plan incase her mother was right. She'd judge him herself. 

"It went better than I thought it would but not by much." Keegan didn't say much for the rest of the evening. Like Sabrina, his mother was consuming most of his thoughts as well. But unfortunately, he couldn't share that conversation with Sabrina. So he just retired to his laptop and continued writing as much as he could before he joined a sleeping Sabrina in bed.

A few days later, Quincy successfully purchased his modern single family home. Keegan was happy for his best friend despite their lack of communication over the past few months. He agreed to help him pack up and move his few boxes of things. So he'd taken the day off to settle Quincy in.

"I know your mom is excited." Keegan shouted from the living room. He attempted to unroll a thick line of scotch tape but the ends began to fold onto one another. Within a few frustrating seconds, the tape morphed into a useless ball. He groaned lowly.

"Yeah, she already started planning her trip over." Quincy replied from the bedroom. Over the months that Keegan had been practically living with Sabrina, Quincy managed to really get the apartment looking like... an apartment. He purchased a quaint black leather couch with a matching armchair, dining room set and a bed with a headboard. They managed to get most of the larger pieces of furniture into the truck so now there were only accents left. Quincy emerged from the bedroom.

Accountant's anxiety had done him well physically. His boyish face was wrinkled with the classic touch of masculinity. He'd been taking trips to the gym so his lanky body was toned and lightly chiseled. He wore simple cargo shorts, a tank top and converse. His deep toffee colored skin was accented by the curtain-less window's light.

"I ran out of boxes so I'm going to go get a few more. Be right back." He snatched his car keys off of the counter and exited the apartment. Keegan attempted to tape up the box a second time. He successfully taped it's opening and had moved onto another. He used bubble wrap to cloak Quincy's expensive dishes before putting them into boxes he'd labeled 'delicates'. Just when Keegan was about to put in a tall drinking glass, there was a tap on the door. 

He gave the door a funny look before strolling over to open it. When he needed to cast his eyes downward to meet eyes with who was there, his heart skipped a few beats. The visitor stormed past Keegan with a suitcase and purpose in their steps.

Bethany shifted on her feet before she flipped her hair over her bare shoulder. 

"What the fuck, are you doing here?" Keegan gritted out. She inhaled deeply, making the bones in her collar protrude sickeningly beneath her yellow tinted skin. She wore a white halter top that tied behind her neck. Her thick brown hair was thinner than he last remembered and sat dully on her shoulders. But her eyes were still intense.

"I'm here to visit you and see if we can work this out." She said simply. Keegan was unconsciously shaking his head as her sentence progressed further. 

"You aren't staying here, and we aren't working anything out. So you need to go home." Keegan was trying his hardest to be calm yet authoritative to show Bethany he was serious. She nervously switched her few pounds from foot to foot. 

"Then you are going to do it now Keegan!—You're going to break up with me, right now and you're going to tell me why!" Her voice was advanced toward a screeching cry as her eyes welled with tears. Keegan nodded his head in compliance. "I've been nothing but good to you and I refuse to just give you up." 

"Bethany, listen to me." Keegan's voice was chillingly cold in comparison to hers. She swallowed the lump in her throat in preparation for his words. "I'm no longer interested in you. Nothing will ever happen between you and me. I do not love you. I will never love you again." Her bottom lip trembled uncontrollably. 

He groaned as he thought of what her visit would do to his plans. He'd have to call off his walk with Sabina at the park so he could figure out what the hell he was going to do with Bethany. He couldn't let her stay in the apartment alone, that'd be incredibly cruel. But looking at the size of her suitcase, she'd be staying for a few days. He couldn't avoid Sabrina for that long after being with her every second; she was nowhere near stupid. 

"How'd you get this address anyway?" Keegan asked, his agitation with her clear. 

"Your mother gave it to me awhile ago." Her voice was emotionless and her face followed suit. She stared blankly at the wall beside her while Keegan lightly paced the room.

"Do you have money for a hotel?" He asked, doubting she did. 

"No." She whispered quietly. Keegan certainly didn't either.

"When's your flight home?" He asked it immediately after her response.

"Thursday." That was three days away. Keegan sighed deeply before heading back into the kitchen to finish packing. Every time his hand touched a delicate piece of glass, he had the biggest urge to slam it against the wall across the room. 

It felt like two parts of him were meshing together and he was standing in the center trying to push them further apart but only successfully getting himself squished in between. One of the parts was perfect and important, but the other was an evil burden that had awoken from dormancy and walked straight through his apartment door. Now the two pieces were only a few miles apart instead of the few hundred that Keegan had grown content with. 

"I'm going to take a shower." Keegan hardly acknowledged her. He just continued angrily wrapping the eating tools and packing them away. About 20 minutes passed when his cell phone beeped a signal that told him he only had 5% left. The sound reminded him that he needed to tell Sabrina something. She was expecting him at the park within 3 hours to go walking and be home right after for dinner. He strolled over to the counter to retrieve his phone.

He opened his messages and stared at the blank text box for about 15 minutes, trying to put some careful thought into his lie. If he said anything the slightest bit suspicious and unbelievable, she'd be standing at the door when he came home. Her arms would be crossed and she'd be eyeing him through low lids. 

Cnt wlk tday, packng n movng takng lngr than expctd. Love u 

As he sent the text, he made his way toward the bathroom door. He guessed Bethany might've been hungry after traveling through lunch and into late afternoon. He would just order a pizza for her if she wanted.

"Bethany," He called. She didn't answer so he tapped on the door. It wasn't quite closed all the way so it creaked open just a little. Keegan tried not to pry inside, but he couldn't help himself; a vivid red color was as bright as the sun against the white of the bathroom tile. Keegan threw the door open to reveal Bethany lying limp and lifeless on the floor. 

"Bethany," Keegan called quietly.

Her arm was upturned and long slits bled furiously against her wrist, creating a puddle below. Her hair was scattered behind her head and she was drifting in and out of consciousness. Keegan immediately stripped himself of his shirt and tied it tightly against her cuts. A bottle of pills sat in her other hand. 

He searched for his cell phone and discovered it had fallen right into the pond of blood. He picked it up and was mortified to find it completely dead. The last text massage to Sabrina had drained it completely. Without wasting another second, he scooped Bethany up into his arms and successfully carried her to his car. He looked onto her eyes as he practically ran down the walkway of the apartment building.

Her body was as light as air paired with his rush of adrenaline. His heart was shuddering uncontrollably in his ears and it was the only distinguishable sound he could make out. Bethany's arms were limp with exhaustion as her wrists soaked his shirt. He could feel her body cooling onto his chest, or maybe it was that his chest was sweating profusely. 

Her eyes were fully shut and her breathing was shallow. 

This was the cloud he'd seen and felt cloaking his crown since the night he'd called Bethany to end their relationship. Over 3 months had passed before it finally showed it's true intentions, but he'd anticipated them. This would be the thing to change his way of living and jeopardize his true happiness. The Florida shackles had never left his fragile ankles, and their owners had never been his father. They belonged to Bethany. He thought he'd left them back home, in his childhood town, but they were still a prominent part of his life and his relationship. A relationship that was slowly slipping into the depths of nonexistence as the seconds passed.

The apartment complex was only a few minutes from a hospital, and with Keegan's driving, they'd be there sooner than expected. He loaded her into the back seat and sprinted to the driver's side. Not even bothering to put his seatbelt on, he threw the car into reverse and screeched down the street. 

He glanced into the rearview mirror to see her out cold along the cushioned seat. Her lips were parted widely and he couldn't see her chest rising or settling. 

Keegan spoke to her, trying to keep her awake incase he wasn't too late.

"Stay with me baby. I'm right here—you're going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere." 

***

Ok, call me l8tr... I love u so much, miss u



Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 07 Pt. 1



Sorry about the delay!

I have no idea how the hospital works, so this is probably not accurate hahaha. 

Enjoy and please leave me feedback!




"Mr. Sage," The doctor called from the start of the room. He had a clip board in his hand and his head downturned onto it. Only after the name was called did he make eye contact with Keegan. Keegan ran his clammy hands on his jeans before extending it toward the doctor. 

"Nice to meet you, I'm Dr. Plyith; I've been working with Bethany." He introduced. 

"Nice to meet you." Keegan replied bleakly. He waited patiently for whatever information the doctor had for him. He'd been waiting on it for the past few hours. Dr. Plyith signaled for Keegan to have a seat in a secluded area beside the front desk.

"Are you aware of Bethany's emotional state?" Keegan shook his head timidly. "Well, six months ago Bethany was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder." He drank in the man's words. Six months. He'd left Florida six months ago. "Is your relationship with Bethany the reason this has happened, Mr. Sage?" Keegan responded soundly,

"Yes." The doctor nodded knowingly.

"Bethany had taken lethal amounts of her anti-depressants. So a gastric lavage was preformed just in time. But the more concerning aspect of her attempted suicide is the blood loss. A blood transfusion is being done now to ensure her survival." Hearing all the things that was happening to Bethany was difficult. It made his stomach churn to know that he was responsible for everything that was taking place.

"Now, because Bethany attempted suicide, she needs to be placed in a psychiatric ward for a minimum of two weeks. I've learned that this isn't her home state so we will be transporting her back to Florida once she's capable of taking the trip. And since you were involved with her reason for attempting, you both will be required to take 10 hours of therapy and 5 hours individually."

Keegan's pulse stopped. His face dropped all pigment and took on an ashen color instead.

"And this is not optional." The doctor's tone darkened as he noted Keegan's grave expression. He left on that note and stalked away to check on his patients.

Reflection consumed Keegan's body and his thoughts went rampant. Telling Sabrina what was happening would be the most honest thing to do. But Keegan obviously wasn't familiar with the honest path, and now, after lying for so long, it didn't seem like it'd be most beneficial to him. 

"Keegan!" Footsteps were growing closer toward him and Keegan searched for the source. Visitors and nurse's whirled around him before he spotted Quincy. His face was masked in worry yet he could see it subside once he laid eyes on his friend. Keegan stood up, suddenly awoken with unrecognizable life as an idea rushed his thoughts. 

"What the fuck is going on? I saw all the blood on the floor so I just—" Quincy forced the words frantically.

"Q, I need you to do me a favor." Quincy furrowed his brow at the gleam in Keegan's deep grey eyes. The gleam wasn't exactly uplifting and seemed more intimidating than anything else. Exhaustion left huge purple bags under his eyes and stained them red. He truly looked insane.

Quincy awaited his friend's request, ready to come through for him if need be. 

"Go to Sabrina's job, tell her that something came up with the house—anything you want, I couldn't leave and I'll be home tomorrow. I left my phone at the apartment and I don't want to call her from the hospital phone. Tell her you're my—" Quincy shifted on his feet before he interceded Keegan's words.

"I'm not lying for you." Quincy's tone was nastily rebellious. The pitch curled upward toward the end, signifying his stance on the proposition. The two men competed in a deadly staring match that was accented by a sudden coldness. The front door of the lobby had opened wide and allowed a hard breeze to cloak over their bodies. Everything seemed to coincidently grow quiet, changing the ambience of the room. 

"Q, you know that if the positions were switched—if you needed me to lie for you, I wouldn't ask any questions." Keegan could see the consideration on his friend's face, so he decided to push a little further. "I'm going to tell her everything; I just need some more time. I promise." Desperation soaked his tone and he parted his lids to allow his eyes to look larger. Quincy flexed his jaw while looking off into the distance. Keegan was loyal, he'd always been. But he knew just as well as Keegan did, that he'd never tell Sabrina the truth. Although for some insane reason, he'd participate in extending her inevitable heartbreak.

*

"I'm done!" Sabrina cheered, throwing her arms into the air and smiling at the women behind her. The dental office was finished its last patient for the day and it was time to get ready for the next day's work. Over the past few years Sabrina successfully turned the dreary process of collecting receipts, cleaning utensils, vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms into an enjoyable project. 

"Turn the radio on Annette!" Rochelle called from the back room. Soon after, she appeared out of the hallway and stood beside the receptionist table. Annette was an incredibly shy middle aged woman. She was good at her job but it was clear she wasn't an outspoken person. So in the beginning, Sabrina and Rochelle tried to go easy on her. But as time passed, they slowly began revealing themselves. Now she anticipated their weird antics and flip-flop relationship. 

Britney Spears' Toxic played loudly from the portable radio. Sabrina absolutely loved the song; it only got better as years went on. She sang the words loudly as the women watched her jump around the room. It was probably the realization that she was one step closer to leaving and Keegan was on his way home to meet her in bed that had her overly excited. After his sweet text to her, she'd been in high spirits for the remainder of the day. 

"Sabrina, get off my chair!" Rochelle chastised from the rim of her clipboard. She was gazing down on the check-in list when Sabrina began dancing on the waiting room couch without her shoes. Her fluffy hair was flying all over the place as she screamed lyrics carelessly, occasionally laughing at herself in the midst of it all. She ignored her best friend's empty warning and kept enjoying herself.

*

Quincy took a deep breath at the door. He could hear music playing on the other side, so he was sure someone was still inside. He took a deep breath and placed his hand against the knob.

He was trying to ready himself for an endless line of questions that he couldn't answer. 

Slowly, the door creaked open and his eyes landed on who he knew was her. He stood in the entryway, paralyzed by his view.

Her back was toward him and he could see her perfect, rounded backside clearly through her loose fitting scrubs. They were a feminine black and worked well with her body. Her socks were bright yellow and playfully propelling her on and off of the couch. Her hair was a wild mess around her shoulders and when she turned around, he fell into the hold of her brown eyes. The large portion of white was a nice contrast against the deep mahogany of her skin. Her full lips parted in embarrassed astonishment just as the music was stopped.

Quincy took a step inside only to find it even more difficult to stop staring at Sabrina. She hopped off of the couch and slipped on her Crocs. Her chest was heaving from her recent activities and she gave Quincy an apologetic smile.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that." She placed a hand over her heart and Quincy could feel himself go weak in his knees. She was absolutely stunning.

"N—no it's fine, I uh—" Quincy swallowed the blade trying to slip down his throat. "I actually need to—" Quincy's nervousness stemmed from the idea that this woman was completely in the dark. Just knowing that she was ignorant to all the disrespect she'd been receiving over the past six months made disrespecting her again twenty times harder.

Quincy caught sight of movement beside him. Another gorgeous honey colored woman was standing off in the corner, eyeing him suspiciously over her glasses. A larger woman shared her same expression behind the receptionist's desk. Quincy could hear his heart thudding in his chest and he fought for words. 

"I need my teeth whitened." What the hell? That was not what he wanted to say. But by the time he decided he'd said the wrong thing, it was too late. Sabrina nodded in compliance.

"Can I whiten him up really quickly?" Rochelle gave her a skeptical look; it was past closing. "He saw me jumping on a chair to a Britney Spears song, the least I can do is whiten his teeth." Sabrina got a tiny chuckle from Quincy.

"Hurry up." Rochelle said. Sabrina led the way, with Quincy hot on her heels and his eyes trying to stay above her waist. 

It'd been a long time since he'd been this attracted to a woman, and Sabrina wasn't even his type. Usually the women he slept with were merely used for his own sexual satisfaction than physical attraction. But Quincy surprisingly thought Sabrina was beautiful and sensual.

She led him to a room with a long chair that took up a majority of space. Quincy took his seat and Sabrina positioned herself behind him. He could hear her messing around with some latex gloves and preparing for his unplanned teeth whitening.

"How was your day today?" Sabrina asked, gathering her tools and making small talk with him. Quincy reclined in his chair, basking in the peppermint scent of her hair that clouded the area.

"It was alright, I went to work for a few hours and then I came home." Sabrina laughed sweetly.

"A few hours was just enough for you huh?" Sabrina asked teasingly. He chortled in response.

"I didn't have much to do, so there was really no need for me to stay longer." 

"Well what occupation is this and where can I get my application?" Sabrina asked, loving the way he made his job seem. The calm tone only added to the overall luxury of leaving work when he wanted.

"I'm an accountant." Sabrina did a long groan as she tied a napkin around his neck.

"Oh no, You can keep that application; I'd kill myself if I had to do math every day—I'm gonna lean you back." Quincy cracked a smile at her unexpected charisma. He crossed his ankles as his chair reclined deeply. The intoxicating smell seemed to strengthen when his head leaned further into her lap. Once she was satisfied with his height, she used her gloved hands to briefly lift his thick lips and examine his teeth.

"What's your name?" Quincy asked as if he didn't know already. Sabrina looked into his eyes fleetingly, uncomfortable with what she saw in his caramel orbs. She swallowed roughly and averted her gaze elsewhere.

"Sabrina." She replied quietly. It came out even more muffled because she wore a medical mask. Quincy could hear the apprehension in her voice and he understood it completely. She was in love with someone else—his best friend. But at this moment, while he contemplated his attraction toward her, Keegan hardly affected his thoughts. 

"I'm Quincy."

*

Unfortunately, Quincy couldn't talk to Sabrina as much as he wanted to while she repeatedly put objects into his mouth. But he didn't waste the opportunity to be in her company, so he kept his eyes intently on hers while she worked above him. He relished in her soothing commands and dark auburn irises as they darted around his mouth with so much focus. Her simple stud earrings sparkled from the large light in front of her and added to her beauty. 

Quincy could now understand his friend's hesitation. Not to say he agreed with the lying or prolonged reveal, but even he didn't want to hurt her. He didn't want to see the uneasiness on her face when he told her Keegan's terrible lies. 

"Okay, we're all done." Sabrina handed him a hand held mirror. He smiled into it, allowing his perfect white teeth to come into view for both of them to see. He nodded in approval and was now somewhat glad he didn't have the courage to fulfill his true intentions of visiting this dentists' office. 

"They look good," He turned around in his chair to hand the mirror back to Sabrina. His tiny smile caused her cheeks to rise a little. "Thank you."

"No problem—Now it's time to go home." She chuckled while standing off of her stool and peeling off her gloves. Quincy stood too and allowed his eyes to roam over her captivating features once more.

"Sabrina," He called quietly. She watched as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small business card. He spotted a pen on the counter beside them and grabbed it swiftly. Within a few seconds, he had his cell number scribbled onto the back of it. He gave it to Sabrina and she gave him a meek smile. Quincy knew she had intentions on throwing it out as soon as they had 50 feet between them, but he couldn't help himself. He strolled out of the room and headed to pay his bill.

He knew that he'd just completely pissed on Keegan with what he did. But Quincy no longer had any value for him, so the act didn't influence his conscious as much as he would've expected. Soon Sabrina would lose respect for him too, and hopefully Quincy could be there when she did.

* 

Keegan watched as Bethany looked him right between his eyes. She'd awoken from sleep just seconds ago. Her expression was bleak, as if testing to see how conscious she actually was. When time passed on, she realized she wasn't where she thought she would be. Her heart sank as her cheeks grew hot from humiliation—she hadn't died. She'd have to face her family and Keegan with an attempted suicide reigning over her crown constantly. Unable to face him any longer, she repositioned herself to stare out of the darkening window.

Keegan sighed deeply while resting his elbows over his knees. 

This was by far one of the most stressful days of his life. Bethany's well being preoccupied him immensely over the past 5 hours, but Sabrina still had her beat. He wondered how she'd taken the news and whether she was content with what Quincy told her or pissed that things weren't really adding up. 

He could picture her cute arched brows hanging downward while she thought deeply. She would lay in bed with Venice by her side, snuggled up in his tee-shirt and thinking of him. She was probably soothing herself with her flat little thumb, hoping to fall asleep and put her mind at ease. Keegan leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes and tried to utilize his imagination.

His daydream was in first person so he walked through the front door of Sabrina's apartment. Everything was darkened and she wasn't anywhere around. So he approached her bedroom and knocked softly a couple of times. A small silence passed before Sabrina responded. 

"Keegan?" She called faintly. Keegan smirked at the surprise in her pitch. He slowly pushed the door open and she sat up straight in the dimmed room. Her frizzy hair was wild in the center of the bed. When she saw him standing in the doorway, she took in a tiny gasp and began crawling up to the edge in a rush. He had to stumble backwards a little as the velocity of her body collided with his. He wrapped his arms around her waist while she hugged him tightly. 

"Can I get a kiss please?" Keegan chuckled, looking down on the crown of her head expectantly. She laughed before looking up and rolling her eyes playfully. He watched as she closed her lids to conceal her large eyes and puckered her already pouty lips in preparation for his kiss. He moved his palm to the corner of her jaw and leaned forward to touch their lips.

But just before his thoughts could get him to the most blissful moment of his musing, a voice brought him back to his terrible reality.

"Okay, Tampa General Hospital is expecting you both this Saturday." The doctor announced his presence but it was hardly acknowledged. Bethany didn't move a muscle, and Keegan hardly spoke a word. As if he could feel their attitudes, the doctor made quick work of leaving the room so that the two could continue their silent session.

*

"Hey, Keegan it's me. I'm getting a little worried—your phone is off and I haven't heard anything from you in..." 29 hours... "awhile." She decided to say instead. It was a little past 6 o'clock and the first thing Sabrina could do was check her phone for any missed calls after she found the bed cold. She could hardly feel the exhaustion that involuntarily slowed her down. She hadn't gone to bed until at least 2AM. Venice pressed into her as if she was trying to fill the void that came with the unused pillow. Sabrina gently ran her hand down the dog's crown as she ended her voicemail. 

Hopefully she'd hear from him today.

*

"Quincy where the fuck are you?" Keegan left his best friend a nasty, short voicemail from the hospital's phone. Bethany had yet to move since last night when she'd awoken from and turned her body in shame. Keegan was quite content with her lack of words; hearing anything she had to say would only make his life more difficult. He didn't plan on dealing with her emotions right now, or anytime soon for that matter. The therapist would hopefully do that all for them when they arrived to Florida in a few days.

Keegan had expectations on getting done the therapy hours within a week. They'd both visit every day until he thought they were finished. Keegan would leave Bethany with her mother back in Florida and he'd return to Sabrina with a bucket full of confessions. Getting back to her wasn't an option—it was his only choice for living a sane life. 

His heart raced at the thought of never being able to hold her again. It made him sick to his stomach to even entertain the idea that another man would touch her the way he had. This situation could not ruin his relationship to a point that couldn't be recovered. No one could ever love Sabrina the way he did. 

*

It was the third time his phone had rung today, and it wasn't even 8 o'clock yet. The effects of deceit were heavy on him last night. He awoke earlier than normal with only Sabrina on his mind. The woman inevitably brought up thoughts of Keegan too but he tried to ignore those. He wanted to hear from her, just to see how she was doing and if she needed someone to keep her mind busy.

He felt guilty as he realized that he wanted to capitalize off of her pain. He'd build their relationship from the base of her breakup if that meant he'd have a chance to be with her. He smiled as he remembered how wild she'd been the day he first saw her. She went from a screaming, jumping child to a modest, sweet woman in a matter of seconds. The quality was a redeeming one to say the least.

Quincy left his phone home and decided to grab his Ipod instead. With a muscle tee on that was cut down the sides, sweats and a heart racing French Montana beat ringing in his ears, he set his ADT alarm and closed the door to his new, 3 story home. He strolled over to the garage and revealed his Audi R8. The glossy black car was a beautiful yet strong looking vehicle that always got him stares while driving down city streets. He walked over to the driver's side, but halted himself sturdily. A tiny gleam against the passenger side door caught his attention. His brows furrowed while acknowledging the pin sized scratch against the black paint of the expensive car. He balled up his fist in agitation.

"Fucking bullshit!" He cursed huskily to himself. He definitely needed this trip to the gym.

*

"I don't think I can deal with Olivia tonight." Rochelle stated. Sabrina walked through the front door as Rochelle walked by. Sabrina silently closed and locked it behind herself before following her friend into the kitchen. Curry chicken radiated from the entryway, but it didn't provoke Sabrina's stomach the way it should've. 

She honestly didn't think she wanted any.




Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 07 Pt. 1



Rochelle was busy running around the kitchen, trying to put together plates of food for the both of them. Sabrina silently sat on the stool positioned at the island counter. Her friend was comfortably bra-less in a mid-thigh length tee shirt and slippers. 

"I'm not hungry, Chelle." Sabrina mumbled. Rochelle was facing the opposite direction, but Sabrina could still see her surprise. She put down the spoon she was holding and was completely motionless for a few seconds. She spun around cautiously, an expression of annoyance on her face.

"What'd he do? I like him but he's been fucking up a little too much." Rochelle seemed a little irritated with Keegan. Sabrina looked sheepishly at her cuticles as a ton of bricks fell to the bottom of her stomach. Hearing someone else talk about Keegan made his absence a bit more apparent. 

"Where is he?" Sabrina smiled brokenly as tears pierced at the back of her eyes. The tightness in her chest signified the bawl threatening to leave her lips.

"No idea." She mouthed noiselessly. 

"Have you put out a missing persons report? He probably needs help—" Rochelle began searching for her cell phone, but Sabrina's monotone voice stopped her cold.

"He told me he wasn't coming home 2 days ago, and I haven't heard from him since. He's not missing." Rochelle stood awkwardly before her, finally realizing the weird situation Sabrina seemed to be in. 

"So what are you going to do? Sit around and wait for his ass to figure out how to use a phone and call you?" Sabrina was expecting this; Rochelle wasn't a rational woman at all. She was into seeking revenge now and feeling sad or hurt later. Sabrina made no attempt to respond.

She could see where her best friend was coming from. Keegan knew her number; he could easily call her if he wanted. But he hadn't and that only meant he didn't have plans on doing it anytime soon. So how long would Sabrina sit by the phone waiting for him to come up with this outrageous explanation for why he'd gone missing on her? 

"He doesn't deserve you, Bean. He's a sneaky man and that only means he's a liar too." She returned to the stove so she could finish preparing the plates of curry. "I think," The words signified that Rochelle's suggestion would not be in Sabrina's best interest, and some opposition from her was expected. Sabrina raised her brow in curiosity.

"You should call that guy—"

"No, absolutely not. Keegan may not be here but I'm not..." She tried tooth and nail to find a better way to say what it, but she couldn't. "I'm not a cheater." 

"But Sabrina, what do you think he's doing?" Rochelle swirled around swiftly and almost screamed the question. She put both of her hands onto the counter before her. "Do you think he's being faithful to you?—That he hasn't been avoiding you for a reason? You sound ridiculous." 

Sabrina could feel her body responding to her words. The thought of Keegan doing what he wanted without any regard for her was painfully insulting. But as she sat in the stool, she grasped that she'd only inflicted it onto herself. After believing his shaky excuse for taking a phone call down a flight of steps, she invited him to walk all over her. Since that day forward, her hints were all right under her nose. Even her mother suggested that Keegan wasn't telling her everything, but Sabrina was too blindsided to act on her words. So in the end, Sabrina chose him over her mother and sisters. 

She hadn't stepped foot in church since that phone call almost 3 weeks ago.

But somehow she'd been content without visiting the spiritual building and hearing the Bishop's words. The only reason being because she'd had Keegan. And now that he was nowhere around, she'd asked God for strength all day long to deal with his nonexistence and the effects it had on her. She scrunched her eyebrows together while trying to find out what this all meant. Maybe this was a sign that her priorities had shifted for the worse. She tolerated Keegan's sneakiness in exchange for her relationship with God and her family.

Sabrina didn't think twice about jumping out of the stool and heading straight for the exit.

"Bean! I'm sorry, I didn't—" She couldn't even hear the rest of her friend's apology because she'd slammed the door and ventured down the walkway to her car. She didn't slow down her pace but her vision got weaker and weaker as tears formed in her eyes. 

She managed to get a few blocks down the road before she had to pull over. She threw her car in park while a heavy sob of loneliness built its way up her core and filled the tiny space.

*

It'd been a few days since Sabrina was at Rochelle's house for a matter of 5 minutes. The two hadn't spoken much, just necessary words to get done their work. But it worked out for her because she wasn't quite in the mood for conversation anyway. Putting on a smile for the kids that needed their teeth cleaned was difficult. So she was glad her lunch break meant she'd get some well needed solitude. Sabrina walked over to a small food truck on the corner of the block to get a chicken salad. 

It was sunny yet still a bit cool for noon. The wind blew lightly around Sabrina as she waited to order. Her eyes wandered around aimlessly, taking in the people and their mindless chatter. She turned a bit to her left and her eyes fell on the street to Keegan's job. The library was about a 5 minute walk from where she was now and sooner than her brain could comprehend, she began walking toward it.

Anticipation filled her at the thought of finding some answers. Connor would be sure to know something about where Keegan was, or what he was up to. Keegan needed to have confided in someone, and since Sabrina had no information on his roommate or where their apartment was, his coworker was her next best option

As she rounded the corner to allow the library to come into view, her heart thudded at what she saw. His little silver Honda sat in a parking space beside the building. The sight stopped Sabrina from across the street. She just stood, staring at the vehicle in utter astonishment.

He wasn't sitting in a hospital bed completely unresponsive, as she'd ashamedly hoped. He wasn't dead or unable to get to her the way she would've liked. He was fine—driving, walking, talking with no insight to the discomfort he was causing her. 

Sabrina took a few more cautious steps across the street. Once she got to the other side, the door suddenly opened. 

His long locks were tied messily at the nape of his neck, and he wore new clothes. Ones she'd never seen before but could only guess he'd gotten from his apartment because most of his others were in her closet. He was clad in a simple burgundy sweatshirt with dark wash jeans. He didn't see Sabrina because he rummaged in his pockets in search for his keys.

Sabrina had to chalk up enough nerve to catch his attention before he reached his car. He was a few feet away from it before she stopped him.

"Keegan?" The word had no sound at all. It was a mere whisper, projected only by the rasp in her voice. It was a result of the stiffness she felt in her throat.

Keegan halted in place, but made no effort to look at her. She could see him flexing his jaw and clenching his knuckles, turning them a solid white. Sabrina approached him carefully, as if he were an unfamiliar object. Eventually he turned to her, and by then she was almost directly in front of him.

Keegan took in her light frown. Sabrina's full lips were faintly turned down at the corners and her brows knit together soundly. She had her healthy hair at the crown of her head in a large, curly puff. He missed her pretty chocolate skin and eyes; his imagination couldn't do them justice. 

They were now sharing the same rhythmically labored breaths of unease. 

He didn't want to answer her questions yet. He wasn't ready to watch her love for him diminish as he revealed the truth. It was similar to a son telling his parents that he had to give up his full ride to Princeton because he'd gotten his girlfriend of 3 months pregnant. Disappointment made it all that much harder to do.

Keegan placed his palm against her jaw, just as he'd done in his fantasy. But unfortunately the bliss he'd experienced in it couldn't be recreated at this moment. His palms were sweating profusely against her silky skin, and his wrists were thumping hard with blood that rushed to hold the speed of his heart. He warily placed his lips against her forehead, allowing them to sit there for an extra second before pulling away.

Sabrina's lip trembled as she basked in the 'goodbye' sense of his kiss. The look in his light grey eyes only confirmed its message. He pressed his forehead against hers and he closed his eyes momentarily. His arms coiled around her one last time, relishing in the curves of her body and the peppermint smell of her hair.

"I'm so sorry." He cooed to her. Only a second longer passed before he left her and walked briskly to his car. Sabrina couldn't decipher what was happening until it was a second too late. He was already starting up his car by the time she'd jogged over to him. He couldn't make eye contact with her—his body wouldn't allow him to.

You're a coward. He said to himself. 

"Keegan!" She called desperately as he pulled out of the parking space. He ignored her call and continued to leave the library's parking lot.

Sabrina took a step into the car's direction as if she'd be able to follow it if she could. She stared after him until he made a right hand turn and left her line of vision. 

A small breeze put a chill against Sabrina's cheeks, and only then did she notice she was crying immensely. She used the back of her hand to wipe away her tears as she sniffled minimally. She ran her hand over the front of her hairline and looked around for any spectators who might've noticed how pitiful she looked. No one seemed to be pay attention, so she headed back to work. 



Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 07 Pt. 2



DISCLAIMER: There is no sex in this chapter.

Sorry for the delay but chapters should start flowing a little better for me since this weird transitional point in the story is over. 

Leave lots of feedback and thanks for reading. 

*

"I'm really happy for you." Sabrina said seriously. She looked over to Rochelle from her laying position on the bed. Rochelle was standing on the other end, busily packing up clothing and throwing it into a suitcase.

She sighed deeply in response, without even sparing Sabrina a glance. Sabrina stifled a groan. The side effects of Rochelle being such a great friend, was that Sabrina didn't get to pick when she wanted Rochelle to stop being a good friend. For the past three hours Sabrina had been trying to convince her that she'd be fine in Maryland while she went off to Jerusalem for two months. 

Sabrina knew how important it was that she visit Yoel's family with Mena and bond with his long distance relatives. But Rochelle kept focusing on how detached Sabrina had grown over the past few weeks.

"Bean, I just can't believe he did that to you." Rochelle finally stopped packing and looked her in the eyes. Her face was solidly set into a tough frown and Sabrina looked sheepishly onto the crown of the baby resting on her chest. Silence filled the room as they both grew motionless. "It makes me so upset because," Rochelle took a reflective pause. "because you don't deserve any of this. You did nothing but care—" 

"Okay," Sabrina said the word a bit sharper than she originally planned. The frustration she held with Rochelle best friend was evident. The fact that they'd talked about him every time they were in the other's company was really beginning to get under Sabrina's skin. She was trying her hardest to get over the entire situation and move on, and for the most part she was succeeding; the late night crying sessions were lessening a lot. But when she heard about her circumstances every day, it only set her back.

She tried again, but lowered her tone drastically. "Let's not talk about it anymore." Rochelle seemed to understand, and gave her an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry. I just don't know if I'm ready to leave you yet." She gave Sabrina a tiny grimace as they both relished in the parental nature of her voice. Sabrina laughed lightly.

"Shut up, I'll be fine."

"You know what?" Rochelle continued packing so she could hide her mischievous expression. Sabrina was too immersed with the sight of Mena's lashes resting on her cheek to pay attention yet managed to respond uninterestedly. 

"Hm?" 

"I think this would be a good time to call that guy—just to go out once and enjoy yourself." Sabrina's groan of displeasure began before she could even finish her suggestion. 

"If I say I'll consider it, will you leave it alone? It as in everything—Keegan, the guy and me. Never speak of it again until you come back." Rochelle seemed to think her proposition over for a few seconds.

"You have to really consider it." She aimed her pointer finger at Sabrina and narrowed her eyes to slits. 

"I will." Sabrina said honestly although her sly smile contradicted her completely. Sabrina could see she wasn't fully convinced. "Chelle, I will." Sooner or later, she exhaled in defeat. 

"Just let me talk to you about it for the next two minutes." Before Sabrina could oppose, Rochelle was climbing onto the bed beside her and getting comfortable. She propped her head onto her forearm right beside Sabrina. 

"How are you doing?" Sabrina knew what the question meant.

"I'm hurting," She said almost silently. "but definitely not as much as I was before." Before referred to the day Keegan left her on the street after pretty much telling her he was done with their relationship. Even though that'd only been a week ago, each day got significantly easier for her. 

"You're so strong; I know you'll be okay. You just need some time." Sabrina nodded, she had no doubt that she'd get over him and be back to her old self. The only thing that she had a problem with was the time it'd take to get there. 

"Yeah, I know. I felt so much better when I put all his stuff in a box and sat it outside." She giggled to herself as she remembered literally tossing his clothes and laptop into a couple too small boxes and setting it outside her apartment complex. Somehow she knew he'd be expecting it so it wasn't a surprise when she returned from work and everything she left for him was gone; either stolen or retrieved by him. "I'm tired of talking about me." Sabrina said after a few seconds of stillness. She turned her head to face Rochelle. "How do you feel about this trip?" Rochelle rolled her eyes dramatically.

"I know the only reason I was invited was because Yoel stood up to his mother and said Mena couldn't go without me." Yoel knew his wife too well. Rochelle would raise hell if anyone tried to take Mena across the world for two months without her being there. "Not that I don't trust Yoel's parenting—he'd be fine with her. But I just can't do it."

Sabrina gazed onto her inquisitively as she tried to piece together whatever she was trying to convey. She knew that having a baby formed an inexpressible bond between the infant and mother, but she didn't quite understand it. The closest thing she had to that sort of relationship was with her childhood dog, Venice. But she still didn't think that was comparable.

"So now I have to go on a trip with Yoel's parents damn near hating me for inviting myself." She groaned inwardly to herself.

"At least you'll have more family to win over and impress." Sabrina said, trying to lighten her situation by revealing that she'd never met Yoel's extended Israeli family.

"Bean, I'm sure his mom already has me on their bad side. I just hope no one says anything out of hand because I know all the Hebrew words required to lay someone out." Sabrina chuckled at her friend's attitude. The truthfulness of her statement made it even more humorous. 

"Yoel will defend you before it comes to that." Throughout the course of Rochelle and Yoel's marriage, they began to understand that their relationship depended on one another. A few months of counseling proved their families were successfully attacking them because they were never on the same page with communication and support.

Sabrina would never forget their largest fall out. Rochelle took Mena in the middle of the night to a hotel about a half hour away. They stayed for an entire week while Yoel went crazy looking for his daughter. Rochelle didn't speak of the situation much because she was so ashamed of the low blow she hit her husband with. It was such an inhumane thing to do to a man that loved his daughter and it took awhile for Yoel to forgive her. But after he realized he'd allowed his mother to manipulate him into thinking Rochelle didn't respect his authority in regard to Mena's religion, he softened. He remembered how he threatened to gain full custody and relocate to Israel. That would inevitably put Rochelle into panic mode and frighten her enough to do what she'd done.

They agreed to counseling and miracles were preformed to get the couple to where they were today, which was completely in love. So their unity strengthened as the family harassments ceased in correlation. 

Rochelle smiled dreamily as she thought to herself.

"I guess he would." She bit the corner of her lip like a teenage girl. Rochelle's gaze left a spot on the wall to meet Sabrina's tired expression.

*

Keegan had just dropped Bethany off at the psychiatric ward. He sat in the hospital's parking lot and tried to decide what his next step would be. The AC did nothing to cool off his heated body. He leaned his head back on the headrest and tried to get some solitude from his own thoughts. 

Bethany hadn't spoken in a week. The doctor said her mute behavior wasn't uncommon after an attempted suicide. She just needed time to get healthy again and then she'd be ready to speak. But since she wasn't speaking, they couldn't start their counseling sessions. The speediness of his voyage back home to Maryland depended on getting the sessions over and done with, and so far, they were already behind schedule. 

Keegan hadn't told his mother anything, so she had no idea he was a few minutes away. He was prolonging the moment he'd have to face his parents. His mother had judged him on decisions that caused his current situation, so appearing at her front door would only prove that she was right. However, Bethany's mother was already at her home after checking her daughter in at the hospital. Keegan hoped that her appearance would help urge Bethany to use her voice and show some sort of progress since the incident, but she hardly spared her mother a glance. Because Bethany was checked in after visiting hours, he and her mother had to leave within 10 minutes of arriving. Now Bethany's mom was expecting him to return to her home so he could answer all of her questions.

But discussions weren't quite what Keegan had in mind right then so he wasn't sure if he would visit or not. It wasn't a part of his quest back to Sabrina to have a heartfelt moment with Linda, Bethany's mother. The only result would be another load of remorse and stress.

Although, as he thought further, he owed her some explanation. He could only imagine what she was feeling after having her daughter returned to her weak, mute and vulnerable. He'd always known that Bethany was the most treasured thing in the world to her. So instead of thinking of only himself, he'd start his fresh page of mustered courage with Linda.

*

He didn't even need to knock. The door was cracked behind the screen and open for his arrival. Linda's home was a small, ranch styled dwelling a few minutes from the city. Keegan stepped inside and the smell of food hit him head on. He was too exhausted to really think the scent over so he decided to just search around for her. She was spotted on the couch that faced away from the entrance. He could only see her pixie cut auburn hair over the chair's back. Somehow he could sense her demeanor from where he stood. It caused him to be weary of the sounds his steps made. He cautiously took a seat on the couch adjacent to her and tried not to glimpse in her direction. They sat there for a few minutes, completely speechless as to what to say to the other. 

Linda and Keegan both comfortably left reality and entered their own room of deep thought.

"I had no idea she needed to take that medicine." She whispered. Keegan had no idea either. "I never knew she was so unhealthy." Keegan could hear the fault in her voice, and he couldn't stand to know she was blaming herself for what happened to Bethany.

"You know Bethany wouldn't tell anyone something like that. She had too much pride to turn to anyone." That was true. Bethany was into emotional repression and relied on it heavily in regard to what was going on in her head. The only exception was when Keegan was involved. She'd empty out her closet full of skeletons for Keegan, and that was proven.

At the start of their relationship, Keegan thought it was a profound symbol of trust and compassion. He was flattered that she was so comfortable making herself readable. But the downfall was that he'd never trusted her nearly as much as she trusted him. She had no idea why Keegan wanted to leave Florida or the situation that'd been occurring with him and his father all these years; he never felt comfortable sharing that with her. He felt as if she wouldn't understand and would somehow relate it all back to herself. But she wasn't self centered; she just didn't have the tools of empathy. So of course he'd feel some sort of obligation to someone who gave themselves to him willingly while he did nothing to deserve it. 

"Now that I think about it, she's never truly been the same since her father passed. And even more so when you left." Keegan swallowed roughly to subdue the sudden discomfort he felt. It was hard for him to hear others recognize the fact that he'd left Bethany while she was completely in love with him. 

Bethany's father died of cancer when she was 10 years old. Bethany tried to tell him all the things she could remember about him, and they were always positive. Keegan could tell that their relationship was strong. 

"Well, I'm here for her now; she knows that I care." Linda looked over to Keegan for the first time since he'd sat down. Her captivating green eyes hit him familiarly and their effects were native. She gave him an expression of appreciation. 

"And for that, I thank you. She needs you, Keegan. More than you know." 

*

Sabrina was feeling an unexplainable emotion of rage. She came home from work, completely pissed at the world and Keegan especially. She closed her apartment door a little harder than she planned and stood directly in front of it for a moment. Her hands were poised behind her hips and her chest heaved from her heavy breaths. Her heart was thumping viscously and she could feel each pulsation in her wrist. Venice's head perked up off of the couch as she acknowledged the noisy intrusion. Sabrina smiled, her spirit softening at the sight of her adorable dog. She was still lying on couch but her head was straight up and her eyes alarmed. 

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you." She whispered to her pet while running a hand over her head. The tiny skull pushed against her palm in response.

Rochelle had been gone for 4 days and Sabrina was already going crazy without her. She had no one to communicate with and the more she thought about it, the more depressing it got. She plopped herself onto her couch and tried to figure out something to do. Anything to keep her busy would lessen the chances of thinking about Keegan. She gazed at the overflowing laundry basket in the hallway.

Her subconscious unknowingly pushed her toward it. She sat down on the floor and began sorting the basket's contents by color. 

She missed him. It stung to think about what he'd be doing if he were with her. He'd probably sit down and attempt to help, but only end up sitting in useful piling space instead. He'd push his hair out of his eyes while he looked at the clothes below him. And when he felt her watching, he'd look up through his dirty blonde vines and his grey eyes would twinkle while he smirked. They'd both laugh—a nonverbal agreement that he had no idea what the hell he was doing. 

Sabrina groaned piercingly out of frustration. A wail was threatening to leave her lips despite the fact that she was fighting to hold them back. She'd done enough crying over the past two weeks. She needed some improvement because this wasn't doing her any good. She lay back on the carpet, closing her eyes and taking deep, controlled pants. 

She eventually got herself together although she no longer felt like doing laundry. She felt like falling asleep right where she was. She hadn't realized she had a pair of scrubs in her hand. They were the bottoms to her favorite set—the black ones she'd worn the day she met Quincy. Sabrina sat up and searched the pockets for the slice of paper she'd put in there from that day.

It was there. Quincy's messy script marked the small space. She ran her fingers over the ripped edge, and it seemed to sting her finger a bit. To be honest, the entire thing felt as if it were on fire somehow. It only fueled her random act of spontaneity. Within a second she was up, dialing the number and putting it up to her ear. 

A tiny, deep chuckle filled the receiver where a proper 'hello' should've. 

"I've been waiting for you to call." Sabrina cracked a little half smile, his cockiness was unbelievably amusing. Her reply was instantaneous. 

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you but I called the wrong number." He chuckled lightly on the other end.

"Yeah right," He sighed once quietly. "So what time am I picking you up?" 

*

Sabrina was on cloud nine while riding through town in Quincy's brand new Audi. She couldn't believe she was just crying a few hours before. His car was fast and when he accelerated; her neck would plaster itself against the cushioned headrest behind her. All the gadgets on the dashboard lit up the entire car. They hadn't spoken much on the ride to the five star restaurant but it didn't bother either of them. The purring of the engine lulled them both into a sort of meditation. Sabrina was feeding off of his mellow, calm mood. He was so collected and serene. 

While he drove, he held the wheel by its bottom. His shinning gold wrist sat against his thigh while he steadied the car. Quincy wore a deep burgundy button down with a black and grey striped tie. The color set off his burning russet honey eyes and flawless caramel skin. He was the prettiest man she'd probably ever seen. 

Sabrina was clad in a plain black wrap dress. It ruched across her midsection and fell delicately above her knees. A large gold statement necklace lay just above her hint of cleavage. Her hair rested on her shoulders and her curls were defined from the twist out she'd taken down that morning. She felt the outfit was too boring without a deep purple lipstick on her full lips. 

She felt great, which wasn't what she was expecting. She looked good, riding in a car worth more than her life's savings, eating an expensive meal she didn't have to pay for with a handsome man beside her. Even if he seemed a bit uptight, she was enjoying everything else. She felt like she deserved this treatment after all she'd been through because of Keegan. At least that was how she was validating her mooching for the night. 

Sabrina questioned whether or not she was being unreasonable. Was it uncommon for today's age of men to open the car door for their date? Especially on the first date. Sabrina ground her teeth together as she closed the Audi door and walked around the vehicle to meet Quincy. They walked up to the lavish steakhouse in silence. Sabrina purposefully allowed Quincy to stay in front to see if he'd hold the door for her. 

She didn't think she was the type to be bothered by such tiny things. But his disregard to do them was... a bit impolite. He hadn't come to her apartment door either; instead he sent a text and waited in his car. She mentally shook her thoughts away; she was being ridiculous. Chivalry was very well dead, that was a fact known by all of society. She couldn't be upset with Quincy because he wasn't acting like—Keegan. 

So Sabrina overlooked the fact that he was the first to step through the restaurant's threshold, only reaching his hand behind him so that she had time to put her hand against the handle.

*

"How do you feel about being in people's mouths all day long?" Quincy asked her. Sabrina used her knife and fork to cut a piece of her sirloin as she prepared to reply.

"Sometimes I love it, but sometimes I don't. I guess it depends on the day." She laughed to herself as she thought of something. Quincy watched her with a smirk on his full brown lips. 

"What's funny?" Admiration saturated his words from across the small table. Sabrina looked up from her plate to meet his intoxicating eyes. His arms were folded on to table and he leaned forward a bit. 

"It's really gross," She chuckled again. "I don't want to tell you while you're eating." He pressed further.

"I wanna know, tell me." Sabrina inhaled deeply with a smile on her face. She gently put down her fork and knife so she could share her story. She mimicked his posture and looked around for anyone who might've been listening.

"Okay, one time I had to clean this old man's teeth." He stared at her intently. "And when he opened his mouth, I was hit with this disgusting smell—I almost gagged. That's how bad his breath smelled." Quincy laughed lightly at how animated she was. Her face contorted into an expression of revulsion as she spoke. "Then, I started cleaning his teeth and I saw tonsil stones at the back of his throat." Quincy gave her an inquisitive look with his brows pushed together.




Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 07 Pt. 2



"What're those?" He asked.

"They're balls of bacteria that the tonsils make. They smell bad when they're opened and cause bad breath." He nodded in compliance so she continued her tale.

"So when we got further into the cleaning process, he managed to swallow them. And I was glad because now I didn't have to look at them anymore." Her hushed tone lowered tremendously and she gave him Quincy knew the story was taking a turn for the worse. "Tell me why," She started, eliciting an amused smile from Quincy. The brazen way she began the climax of the story contrasted with their setting. "this man fell asleep and began snoring—from his mouth. " Quincy erupted into a series of chortles as he tried to keep his voice down. 

"And all his crushed tonsil stones hit me right in my face." Quincy's laughter deepened when she spoke aloud what he had already inferenced. Sabrina joined in on his laughing but tried to feign sadness. When he calmed down, he took a sip of his wine. 

"I'm so sorry that happened to you." He said with a grin. "But that was pretty disgusting." 

Sabrina sucked her teeth in response. 

*

"Thank you for dinner." Sabrina said as they pulled up to her apartment. Quincy looked in her direction and found her eyes in the darkness. He didn't respond, but only leaned his head forward to touch their lips. Sabrina closed her eyes instinctively while he pecked her sweetly. His lips were full, soft and warm. The kiss was modest, and she was thankful; she didn't think she'd be able to handle much more. Just being on the date was an accomplishment in itself. 

"I'll call you later." He whispered groggily. Sabrina nodded before she stepped out and confidently walked up to her apartment.

Somehow she already knew that tonight marked a new chapter of progression. 

*

"What?" Quincy spat while he threw his keys on his coffee table. He pressed the small pad beside his door that turned on the foyer's lights. His voice echoed from the entryway's high dome ceiling.

"What?" Keegan hissed. His body was on fire and his heart was fighting to thrust blood to the bulky vein aching in his forehead. He felt like he had the capacity to turn the universe upside down after hearing Quincy's voice. "Almost three fucking weeks I haven't heard from you, and you answer me with what?" 

Quincy rolled his eyes. He wasn't going to argue with Keegan; there was no need. He was in high spirits and this conversation with Keegan would only fuel his ego further. 

"You're calling about Sabrina, right?" He got right to the point, ready to hurt him with the update he was withholding. Somehow knowing that Keegan would be furious with him gave him more incentive. And his goodbye kiss was the thing that made him pick up the phone. Just as he was pulling up to his garage, Keegan had his phone buzzing in his pocket. The timing was scarily perfect. 

"What'd she say?" Keegan barked. His white palms were moistening at the idea of finally hearing something about her. The mysteries and scenarios he made up before he went to bed would finally be put to rest. Quincy smiled widely as he got ready to respond. 

"Not much..." He snorted cruelly in his best friend's ear. Whatever twisted emotion he was feeling within him warmed his heart as he parted his lips. "Because I didn't tell her." A thick, impenetrable silence fell between both men. Quincy's cheeks were upturned in sadistic pleasure while Keegan fought for composure.

He looked behind him to see Linda preparing a meal on the other side of the brick wall. A small evening wind whirled around him and he tried to capture a breath that was much needed. 

"You know I could kill you, Quincy." His voice was toxic. Quincy knew he probably could. If he'd told him in person, he and Keegan would be fighting at that exact moment. Blood would be spewed on one of his walls and more than one item would be broken into pieces. 

But Keegan was in Florida, a place he needed to stay for at least another two weeks. He'd stay there, beside the suicidal woman who tore him away from the love of his life and allowed Quincy an opportunity to cut between it all. There was absolutely nothing he could do. 

"I get your love for her though; she's amazing. Beautiful, smart, funny—ideal." Keegan scoffed over the receiver. 

"She'd never waste her time with such a sneaky piece of shit." Quincy's nostrils flared as he paced his living room. "You're a rich, spoiled little boy."

"Then you don't know her as well as you think—matter of fact, we went out for dinner tonight." Keegan's reply was instant. 

"You're lying." Quincy told him her address. Keegan was quiet on the other end. 

"I have no reason to lie." He laughed. "I gave her my number and a few weeks later she called. I took her to dinner and we had a great night. And those lips Keegan—they're so full and—" Quincy's cruel attempt to anger Keegan was cut short by his firm voice.

"If you fuck with—" 

"If I what?" Quincy replied tiredly. "If I hurt her as badly as you did?" He paused to allow his words to resonate. "Embarrass her on the corner of a street and never speak to her again?" The statement had multiple meanings, but the largest of them was that Keegan and Sabrina would never have the relationship they once had. Even if Keegan tried every day to get back to it, Sabrina would never treat him the same as she once had. "Well, that's fucking impossible. You literally have her heartbroken. I could tell it took so much for her to go out with me but she was glad she did. And so was I." 

"Keep thinking that you'll save the day. When she finds out you're just as much of a liar as I am, she'll be done with you." 

"I could never compare to you; I'm not lying—she's never asked me anything about you. And I'm not a cheater so you've already got me beat." Quincy snickered. "Anything I do to her could never top you. I'll always be the better man in her eyes." 

"You're right; you could never compare. She's in love with me. Not you. A couple of dates in your Audi won't undo that. Nor will it stop me from getting her back. So go ahead and get too invested in something that you'll never have, you'll end up hurt when I come back." Quincy almost headed his warning. Almost. As he settled on a realization, a hefty laugh fled his lips. It took a few seconds for him to compose himself to respond. 

"Do you understand the situation you're in? You have a girlfriend. A girlfriend who you cheated on and then put in the hospital. You think she'll be in love with you after she finds out all that? Not to mention that you lied to her about it to save your own ass." 

"She will always be mine Quincy, the both of you know that." Keegan ended the called and looked down at that phone afterward. 

He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Sabrina had a rebound. Less than three week after he'd left, she was going on a date—with Quincy of all people. A man who took allowances from his mother and cared more about material things than his values. He was entirely superficial and he thought Sabrina was good at detecting such things. But maybe he was wrong—maybe she wasn't the woman he thought she was.

He stopped himself. He was trying to deflect the situation from himself and that was something he knew wasn't right. Sabrina was exactly the woman he knew and wanted. It was him who had put himself here, and trying to make her seem like less than she was in order to make himself feel better about his choices would never work. She was probably confused and discontented. So if Quincy could help keep her mind occupied temporarily, he'd be okay with it. She deserved all the enjoyment she could obtain. 

Although he wouldn't let Quincy come anything close to what he'd been for her. 

*

"This is Keegan Sage, I have an appointment scheduled with Dr. Windsor in two weeks but I wanted to know if I could come in today instead." Keegan woke up wanting to be proactive. He'd spent the night at Bethany's mother's house instead of with his parents. At the time, he wasn't ready to explain his situation to them so he was going to wait a few more days to reveal his arrival. But after talking to Quincy, he was ready to come clean and move forward. The longer he decided to be a coward, the longer he'd spend in Florida. So instead of waiting to start his individual therapy sessions, he was going to get them over with this week.

"I think we might be able to get you in for at least an hour this afternoon." Dr. Windsor's assistant responded. Keegan wrote down the address and time before he ended the call. He sat his phone on the coffee table as Lisa approached behind him. 

"I'm going to see Bethany." She announced as she collected her jacket and keys. Keegan could tell she wanted him to go too. But he had too many things to do, and he couldn't spend his day sitting with a silent, unresponsive Bethany. He was going to be efficient from that day forward. 

*

"I can tell you went out with him." Sabrina had only answered her phone with a common greeting. 

"What? How do you know that?" Sabrina nestled herself into her bed with her back against her headboard. A cup of hot chocolate sat in her hand while she used her shoulder to keep the phone to her ear. The mattress was layered in pillows and she frowned at them lightly. She'd found it more difficult to sleep at night while there was so much emptiness on the queen sized bed. So she added over 5 more pillows to ensure she slept well.

"I know you. Now tell me how everything went." Sabrina did a long, low groan into the phone before she took a breath. 

"It was... fine." Rochelle made an angered noise before sucking her teeth. 

"Are you ready for all my questions? Because you aren't satisfying me." Sabrina was aware of her response but Rochelle herself seemed different. She could hear the bitter quality in her tone and Sabrina knew something was going on.

"Talk to me Chelle—what's wrong?" Sabrina waited patiently on the other end for her best friend to respond. Rustling filled the receiver and Sabrina guessed she was going to a more private area.

"Hello?" She whispered.

"I'm here." Sabrina reassured her. 

"Sorry, I had to go into the bathroom—but this is a nightmare." She paused. "It's everything I expected; they hate me, exclude me and ignore me. But I'm still bothered by it." She took a deep, audible breath. Sabrina knew she was about to break. So instead of Rochelle being strong for Sabrina, she'd use this rare moment to return her favors.

"I know you want them to love you and welcome you with open arms, but it probably isn't going to happen. They will never fully love you the way you expect them to, Rochelle. Just focus on the love that Yoel and Mena have for you because that will last forever." 

"Oh Sabrina," Rochelle said through a clenched throat. "You're turning cold. That man has turned my buoyant, loving girl into a pessimist." The hair on the back of Sabrina's neck stood tall. 

"No he didn't." She said quietly. "He turned me into someone who can see things for what they really are, instead of being 'a naive little black girl'." Sabrina chuckled faintly, remembering her mother's words.

"So now we're quoting your mom?" Rochelle asked incredulously.

"Why not? She was right all along so I think I should start giving credit because now, as I sit alone while trying to fall out of love without any sort of closure," She had to swallow the bulge pushing at the back of her throat "I believe that its due." Her voice had risen in intensity throughout the course of her sentence. But once it finished, she could feel her own pulse in her wrist. 

"Bean," Rochelle almost pleaded. "Your mother was trying to control you. She didn't want you to be with Keegan because of her own reasons. It's okay that you're hurting. Yes, you did fall in love—that's okay. But you can't let this change you for the worse." Sabrina was quiet on the other line; she didn't have anything to say to her. Rochelle had no idea what she was going through so her opinion on the matter was inadequate to Sabrina's. She had a mother who accepted her for who she was, a husband committed to her and a baby as validation yet complained about a mother who lived hundreds of thousands of miles away. 

"Tell me about the date." She changed the subject to rid them of the awkward break in conversation. Sabrina decided that it'd be best to drop the topic and move on to something else so she replied,

"It was okay. Not a fairytale kind of thing but it wasn't bad either." 

"I want details from start to finish." Rochelle replied blandly. Sabrina rolled her eyes before she went into the description of her outfit and all the ungentlemanly things Quincy had done. She told her friend about his car and the place they ate down to the food they ordered. 

"At least you get to ride around in his Audi." Rochelle sighed. "Even if he is a tool." 

"Got, At least I got to ride around in his Audi." Sabrina clarified with her brows furrowed. "I'm not seeing him anymore. This was a onetime thing." 

"Oh okay, so now you're going to go back to being miserable instead of having sex and being spoiled?" Sabrina moaned.

"You sound ridiculous." She ran a hand through her hairline. "I don't care about any of that—you know me."

"I know, Bean." Rochelle admitted, wishing she did care about it for just a little while.

*

"Mr. Sage," The receptionist called softly. Keegan perked up in his seat at the sound of his name. He'd been waiting for Dr. Windsor to finish up for the past 15 minutes. "He's ready now." Keegan stood and pulled down the hem of his shirt in the process. 

He approached the door and knocked twice before entering. He was hit by a large amount of sunlight. The entire wall opposite of the door was lined with windows. There was a perfect view of the city on the other side of the class.

" Good afternoon Mr. Sage." Keegan looked around for the voice's source and soon found the therapist sitting at a desk nestled in the corner of the room. He had on dark slacks that held in his green button down. His silver grey hair was slicked back on his head and deep wrinkles lined his face. Keegan closed the door behind himself as he replied.

"Good afternoon." The doctor relocated himself to the armchair in the middle of the room. His dark brown brogues clacked quietly as he moved. That section of the room resembled a living room more than it did an office. He guessed it had something to do with the comfort levels, but Keegan found it kind of off-putting. Honestly, the entire atmosphere rubbed him the wrong way. 

"You can take a seat if you want." Dr. Windsor offered while adjusting his glasses over his face. Keegan sat in the love seat beside him. The position of the chairs was quite awkward. They were paired beside one another, as if they would both be facing a TV. But only the wall of glass was in front of them. They couldn't even see each other.

"First," The doctor started in a smooth voice. "I want to say that everything said in this room is confidential. I won't even repeat it when Bethany begins her sessions. With that being said I need honesty and cooperation from you. I'm not here to judge or ridicule you. I'm here to help." 

Keegan could now understand why the seating was arranged in this special way. Not seeing the doctor's face eliminated the uncomfortable intensity of his eyes. That was something that could hinder someone from being completely truthful. The feel of being alone encouraged more confession. It felt as if the doctor was merely a voice in his head—his conscious.

"I understand." Keegan replied, his eyes transfixed on a bird swooping over buildings across the street. 

"How long have you been in Florida?" 

"All my life until 7 months ago." The doctor could hear the discontent in his voice.

"So you moved?"

"Yeah," Keegan sighed. "Up to Maryland." 

"What caused that?" 

"I wanted to pursue my writing." 

"So you left Florida to go to Maryland?" The doctor asked disbelievingly. Keegan was silent for a moment. He wouldn't explain his father's affect on the irrational decision. When Dr. Windsor realized that he wouldn't get an elaboration, he spoke again.

"I want you to start expressing your emotions through you writing. I know it may seem like there isn't any time to write or that you don't feel like it anymore—but just sit down and try to write out what you're going through. Incorporate different points of views with characters and emotions. Whatever you do, I want to read something every meeting. Deal?" 

Keegan replied confidently, "Deal." A nonverbal way of getting through therapy seemed like the perfect loophole. 

*

Would this tattoo always hurt her so much? The sight of the little butterfly on her wrist made her stomach churn intensely. She tried to enjoy the spontaneous moments of nostalgia that may surprise her while she did some normal task, but they always ended in tears. So as she lay in bed with her eyes set on her inked skin, she wore a smile but the piercing behind her lids was anticipated.

Her phone buzzed on the nightstand and she reached for it. She immediately recognized the unsaved number. While suppressing a sigh, she opened the text. 

Movies @ 9

Was this a proposition or did he forget the question mark? Sabrina replied instinctively with her fingers tapping furiously against the screen.

Can't, really busy. Sorry

She knew it was kind of rude, but she had no interest in seeing Quincy again. Aside from her own emotional state, she didn't want to use him. It would only add to her sadness if she knew that she was trying to get over Keegan by seeing him. This would be the first of many declined offers, but sooner or later he'd get the picture. 

*

Quincy tried not to do something drastic. He clenched and released his fingers before letting his head rest against the cool back of the couch. He closed his eyes and tried to think. 

She rejected him. He was almost certain she was at home doing absolutely nothing, but she'd told him otherwise for the sake of solitude. Was sulking in bed better than spending an evening with him? He pulled up her number and allowed the selector to sit over it for a second as he contemplated giving her a call; she'd be more hesitant to deny him over the phone.

Give her time

He inhaled deeply before deciding to follow his conscious. He'd allow her this time to grieve over her breakup; the process would only help him in the end. 

*

"And 'my love for her was something unexplainable yet entirely understood by all involved. But my loyalty to something else stood in the way.'" Dr. Windsor looked up from the printed computer paper to glance at Keegan's side profile from the armchair. After a day, Keegan managed to put off the story he'd been working on the past 6 months, and start his Dr.'s request. He had five pages done within hours and was astounded at how easily his own secret autobiography came to him. It was reliving to write down his emotions through the souls of fictional people. He could make them do things he wish he'd done, and somehow 'correct' his own mistakes. But one thing he'd managed to keep the same was his love for Sabrina and that was what Dr. Windsor found fascinating. "Although I may be wrong, but I don't think the first part is about Bethany..." 

Keegan nodded instinctively. The doctor associating his feelings toward Sabrina with what he felt for Bethany made his skin crawl. He felt the need to clarify it immediately. 

"It isn't." He left it at that, so the Doctor continued reading. He quoted another segment that piqued his interest. "'I fell into the pit of her character. I gave up my own principles to prevent jeopardizing her but that only sped up the process further. '... So far, we have a drug lord explaining his love for a woman? Or is it his career that is being described—I can't tell." 




Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 07 Pt. 2



The doctor was falling perfectly into Keegan's plot. 

"At this moment, he's describing a woman." There was a small break of silence that the doctor used to piece together Keegan's life and his blooming novel. 

"You fell in love while in Maryland." Keegan swallowed roughly before taking a calming breath. "But you were still with Bethany and couldn't shake her from 300 miles away. Is that it?" Keegan couldn't respond. This was the second person who understood his situation in its entirety. Quincy knew the significant parts of Keegan's story, but not enough to understand the sentiments that were behind it. 

*

Keegan knocked on his parent's door. He was finally ready to confront them and try to explain what was happening in his life. He could see the blinds beside the door shift a little in the distance. His mother's thin black hair wisped in different directions from the way she flung the door open. They both stood staring at one another for a few moments, their faces solemn. 

Somehow his mother knew he wasn't here for a casual visit. They wouldn't be hugging and she wouldn't be making a big dinner while he shared stories about how wonderful things were going. She could see the anguish written in the sagging creases below his eyes. His lids were heavy with sorrow and she knew that he wasn't enjoying the opportunity he'd chosen to take by moving so far away. 

But she wouldn't pass judgment on him as she'd done over the phone. She'd let him handle his own situations and continue to love him as she'd always done. She raised a good man, and she trusted her handiwork. 

"I don't want to hear about it—any of it." She said sternly, narrowing her hazel eyes and swallowing roughly. Keegan could feel the weight being taken off of his shoulders when she spoke. He was overcome with the urge to swallow his mother in his arms. He replicated the hug she'd given him the day he left Florida. 

3 WEEKS LATER

Quincy gnawed on the outer corner of his thumb from the security of his car. He peered out the front window and squinted so that he could see. Sabrina was dressed for her walk and carried her dog in a quilt. Her hair was in a large puff on her head and she wore a loose, pink tee. After her dog was loaded in the back seat, she sat in the driver's seat and started the car up. 

Before she backed out of her parking space and caught him, Quincy pulled off with a destination in mind.

Sabrina had been ignoring him for about two weeks. He used to text her and ask her out onto another date and she'd decline with one or two word answers. Then she'd start ignoring his calls and then she wouldn't even respond to his texts. He hadn't heard anything from her in 5 days. 

Curiosity took over him and he found himself driving past her house just to see if she was home. He'd catch her car idle in the driveway but the lights off at an early 8:30. Sometimes he'd do that twice a week and soon he could figure out the fragments of her schedule. And every Tuesday after work—the same day he met her, she'd take her dog for a walk. Quincy figured it was some sort of ritual she formed with Keegan. 

*

"There's a green Altima at the park on 26th. I need it towed for 3 days." Quincy announced as he approached the front counter. He tried not to touch anything around him and look the manager straight in his eyes. The towing shop was absolutely filthy which was what enticed him to enter from the beginning. The floors were cracked in some areas while the walls were laced with visible grime. The owner fit the environment perfectly; his tee-shirt had holes in random areas and his hair was thick with grease. He smiled, showing off a wide gap.

"It don't work like that." Quincy fought back a look of disgust. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out fifty, one hundred dollar bills and threw them on the counter between the two men. The hefty thud the money made caught the owner's attention immediately. Quincy watched the dazed expression on his face quickly come and go. "3 days, you'll get another 3 grand when the car is returned." Quincy proposed again.

The owner's muddy eyes glanced at the young man fleetingly before letting settling on the wad of cash again. The agreement was sealed when his thick fingers wrapped around the paper. Quincy nodded,a grimace on his face just as he turned on his heel and headed back out to his car. 

His steps were full of triumph; he felt untouchable. It seemed as if he were playing a game with Sabrina and Keegan, and so far he was in the lead. If Sabrina didn't want him, he was okay with that. But he wanted her, so the only way for this to work was to make her need him.

*

Sabrina was almost done her mile when it began to pour. She and Venice began jogging out of the park to reach the parking lot. She stopped in her tracks once she was a few yards away. Her parking spot was occupied by a completely different car. Her feet were grounded into the cement for a good minute. The odds were playing against her, as usual. 

She would've just caught a bus if she hadn't left her wallet in the glove compartment after fearing someone might snatch if from her while she walked through the park. It was a weird paranoia that she wished she hadn't had. Although she did have her keys and cell phone. She couldn't even sit in a shop until the rain paused because of the waist high wet dog resting against her.

She grew frustrated as she tried to figure out why her car would ever be towed. She was parked in the right spot, she didn't owe too many tickets, her payment was up to date—there was no reason for this inconvenience. She unlocked her phone in preparation to call Rochelle, but she wasn't even on the continent. She hadn't spoken to her mom in two months and she refused to call for a favor while Quincy fell in the same boat. 

She had no one to turn to. 

She didn't have time to feel sorry for herself. Her landlord would be home in an hour and she needed to get home before him if she would walk through her apartment complex with Venice uncovered. She started journeying the hour long hike through town while soaking wet. 

Her body was numb when she finally could see her apartment. It was still far away, but seeing it gave her hope. The rain had yet to let up and she could see beautiful streaks of lightening at the horizon. She gazed down on Venice to see that she was shivering. Her short coat and nonexistent body fat did nothing to protect her from the outside air. Sabrina considered carrying her, but when she looked down on her own cold wet shirt, she figured it'd only make her feel worse. 

They were nearing her landlord's house and Sabrina picked up some pace; his car was in its normal space. Venice lagged behind a little and Sabrina looked down on her.

"Come on girl." Sooner than later, they passed the house and Sabrina sighed in relief. She'd be in heaps of trouble if her landlord found that she'd owned such a huge dog. An earsplitting crack of thunder, along with a blinding flash of lighting hit from no more than three miles away. Sabrina's recoil from the sound forced her hand to loosen around Venice's leash. Sabrina could feel the fabric leave her grasp and she prepared to bend down and pick it up but it was nowhere in sight. 

Venice took off down the street—back toward her landlord's home with her tail between her legs.

"Venice!" Sabrina called, chasing after her. The fast greyhound sprinted behind her a building and out of sight. Sabrina stomped through the mucky grass and dirt trying to follow. The back of the apartment homes featured extra parking, small fenced yards and lots of dumpsters. She searched around for her but found it difficult to see through the thick sheet of rain. She wandered down the narrow asphalt road. She looked to her left and into the tall shrubs acting as barriers. 

A small yelp caught her attention ahead.

She spotted Venice, but she was 6 feet off the ground. Her property-owner held her by the scruff as the dog quivered, frightened half to death. Venice was a rescued dog that was afraid of anything significantly larger than her. So Sabrina knew that a 6 foot stranger yanking her by her skin had her scared. The sight enraged her. 

"Put her down, right now." Instead of screaming the sentence, she turned it into a menacing whisper. He seemed to stare her down for a moment, as if testing how angry he could make her. 

Her manager's stringy grey hair was pulled into a tight ponytail. His wrinkles were deep and his body was muscular. His brown eyes smiled while they competed in a staring match. He practically threw the dog into her arms. Sabrina disregarded the mud Venice's paws put over her clothes and tried to anticipate her landlord's words.

"Get rid of the dog." He said it simply. Sabrina snorted on a chortle, smiling genuinely. 

She knew that'd never happen. 

"I'll be out by next month." She prepared to turn around and continue walking to her apartment when his voice halted her.

"Oh no," She turned around to see him grinning slyly. "3 days." 

"You can't give me a notice for 3 days."

"Yes I can. A violation of the lease can result in 3 days notice." Sabrina wouldn't argue, she'd just research it herself. She was completely exhausted. 

*

Sabrina was swaddled in towels with Venice snuggled on her lap. She had called every tow service in her area and none of them answered. It had been well past 6:30 so she figured working hours were over. Another clap of thunder sounded outside the window. 

She tried to think of something she could've done to deserve all she was going through. She doubted that Keegan was wondering the same, wherever he was. He was probably enjoying himself, not even giving her a moment to consume his thoughts. She hoped that whatever was happening to her had some purpose. Sabrina was never the type of person to doubt God, but today was an exception. She just couldn't see what good would come from this large casualty. To be evicted and have your car towed in one day was something unheard of. She was sure in a few years, she'd tell someone the story and they'd laugh at the odds.

But right then, nothing was humorous. She had nowhere to live and no one she felt comfortable asking for help. She'd be more than happy to stay in a hotel, but they probably didn't allow dogs and all of her money sat in the glove compartment in her car, which she had no location of. Sabrina groaned piercingly before letting her neck rest on the back of the chair. 

The deep noise of her phone vibrating on the leather couch startled her. She knew she should've checked it but she couldn't find the reason to. It couldn't have been anyone that could help her, so they were unimportant. After 30 seconds, it buzzed again. Sabrina finally decided to see who it was.

*Hello Sabrina*

She shook her head lightly while opening the next message

*Dinner?*

Finally, she had a truthful reply. 

*Had a terrible day, can't.* She put down her phone, thinking that she had successfully declined Quincy's date proposal and was free of any interruptions. 

*What happened?*

*Too many things.*

*Well I'm here, if u need anything or some1 to talk to.* Sabrina stared at the words for a moment before she began to feel guilty. She'd been so rude to him the past few weeks, but here he was, willing to help her just when she needed it the most. She couldn't accept his kindness—she'd been too cruel. 

*Thanks, appreciate it.*

Sabrina slid down on her couch and tried to fall asleep.

*

Dr Windsor suggested that Keegan bring Bethany into their first group session, disregarding the fact that she was still mute after a month of being hospitalized. So Bethany sat next to Keegan on the love seat and all three of them stared onto the streets of downtown Florida. There was a long, brisk silence among them until the doctor spoke. 

"So Bethany, I think I'm going to start asking Keegan some questions, and if you feel like chiming in at any point don't be afraid to jump in." The doctor swallowed lightly before readjusting himself in his seat. 

"Tell me how you feel about Bethany." Keegan snapped his head over to the doctor. 

They had multiple sessions after the doctor found out about Sabrina. Every meeting since had revolved around her. The doctor asked questions about her personal life, what had Keegan so smitten over her and how he'd go about getting her back. The spoke about Quincy and what his motives might've been as well. It felt as if the doctor understood that Keegan felt nothing more for Bethany than a burdening sense of obligation. But then he asked this question. After weeks of not bringing up her name, he'd asked him to explain his emotions toward her.

"I... I uh," Keegan fumbled uncontrollably while trying to find the right words. "I think she's a great woman. She's very loving and—"

"Keegan," The doctor called. "How do you feel about Bethany." Keegan took a moment to assess what the doctor was asking. 

"I feel a little betrayed by her." Bethany turned her head to look at Keegan, the first reaction he'd seen from her all month. It wasn't verbal, but it was expressive. He briefly looked into her dull green eyes and the pale white of her skin. Keegan took his hint to continue. "I care about her and I know she has a lot to offer this world. We may not be the way we once were, but I love her as a person. It hurts to know that she'd end her life over me even after I think so highly of her."

"What is it that you think she has to offer?" 

"She's a great teacher." Keegan knew she always loved working with kids. She was patient yet still could get things done. Linda informed him that she'd resigned from the small private school she'd been eager to call him about. "She's hardworking and kindhearted." 

"I'm sorry." Bethany whispered the word so faintly, Keegan almost hadn't heard her. He didn't want to make a big deal out of the fact that she was finally speaking so he just replied. 

"I'm sorry too."

*

Sabrina managed to call every tow company in Maryland, although there was one that didn't answer. She figured, with her luck that was the one place that probably had her car. She didn't even have a way of getting there to knock on the door and see someone in person. She didn't have boxes to start packing up her things up either. 

She was feeling undoubtedly hopeless which was unusual for her. Typically, if she didn't have faith in herself she usually left it up to her beliefs. But she didn't even feel as if she deserved God's help; she hadn't spoken to him in months. She was never a super-Christian like her sister Brittany but she'd done enough to express her devotion. Although she'd done almost nothing but dote on herself. 

"That's probably why all of this is happening in the first place." She said quietly to while she cut of sausage for her spaghetti. She needed to get to church tomorrow—somehow. 

Her cell phone rang from across the room, and she sprinted for it with hopes that it'd be the tow company calling her back with news about her car. But she was disappointed to find that it was Quincy. She considered ignoring him, but then she remembered how kind he'd been the day before. 

He was genuinely into her and she would appreciate his interest because it was a compliment after how horribly she treated him. She hadn't done anything to deserve half the attention and sympathy he was showing her. 

"Hey," She answered coolly. She sauntered back over to the kitchen so that she could finish preparing her dinner. She freed her hands by capturing the phone between her neck and shoulder. Venice slid up against her ankles and sat quietly beside her foot.

A soft chortle filled the receiver. "It feels so nice to finally hear your voice; I didn't think you'd answer." Sabrina basked in the velvet sound of his voice. 

"Yeah—I'm sorry about how I've been treating you. To be honest," Sabrina stopped cutting so that she could focus on her words. She turned her body so that she could rest her weight on the counter. Her eyes were preoccupied with the small pieces of meat on her nail, and then she caught sight of her tattoo. "when we went out for dinner that night, I'd just gotten out of a relationship a few weeks before. I'm not saying that that's a reason for me to be so unkind to you, but I've really been going through a lot. And yesterday—" She sighed deeply, remembering the freakish bad luck she had. "I had a hell of a day." She laughed lightly to subdue the true seriousness that only she knew about.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Quincy tried to sound sincere. "I could tell something was going on with you, but I figured you just needed some time. But what happened yesterday? I'm curious." Quincy just wanted to hear her views of the hassle he set up for her. 

"Well, I got evicted." Sabrina snickered lightly before exhaling noisily. Quincy was surprised that he was taken by surprise. He had a reply prepared for when she said her car was towed but he wasn't expecting something so drastic. 

"What? Why?" 

"Because my car got towed and I had to walk home with my dog in the rain." Quincy felt like shit. He wanted to have an opportunity to be involved in her life but he didn't want to ruin it. 

"Do you have somewhere to go?" The pureness of his concern scared Sabrina. 

"I think I have some idea, yes." That was a blatant lie. She had no idea where she was going; she had no idea what to do. But she wouldn't take any handouts from a man with a 100,000 dollar car; there was no way that could work well for her. 

"Sabrina, you don't sound too sure." 

"I am sure." 

"Tomorrow I'm going to pick you up and we can do whatever you need to do. I'll take you to get your car and everything." He said it all in one small breath, overwhelming her with his selflessness. She had to admit that his proposition would be helpful. She'd get to see if that tow company had her car, pick up some boxes to start packing her things and maybe drop by church for some well needed motivation.

"You really don't need to do—" She began her decline but he stopped her short.

"Where do you need to go first and what time should I be there to pick you up?" Sabrina let a tiny grin push at the corners of her lips.

"I would like to go to church, at around 8—if that isn't too early for you." A seconds worth of silence passed.

"Okay," He snorted innocently. "I actually have a meeting with a client around 7:30. But I can pick you up at 8:30." Sabrina bit the corner of his cheek. She wanted to get into the service early so that she could avoid people spotting Quincy dropping her off. After bringing Keegan to church only 4 months earlier, they'd be sure to pull up rumors after they see her jumping out of Quincy's Audi. 

She came to the conclusion that she didn't care. They didn't know her circumstances so their opinions didn't matter. A nose congregation was inevitable. She was an adult and she wouldn't sneak around as if she wasn't.

"That'll be fine—thank you Quincy." She said the last bit as candidly as she could to get across just how much she valued him. 

*

After spending the entire day inside and in front of the TV, Sabrina was getting ready for bed. Her shower was relaxing and soothing music played in the background. 

She lay on her bed with only a towel wrapped around her. The ceiling fan's hypnotic spinning captured her attention. The tiny wind it created brushed her wet arms and she could feel goose bumps rising on her skin. Her lids slid shut and she focused on her inhalation. The hushed R&B melody steadied her pulse and she felt at ease. 

A supple pair of lips could be felt on her shoulder. It was strange enough to steal her breath but the feeling itself was wonderful. The flesh branded her skin in a familiar way and she suddenly knew where she'd felt it before. Another kiss was placed deep into the crease of her neck. Sabrina was tempted to open her eyes and confirm with her conscious that she was alone in her apartment, but fear of the sensation never returning kept her eyes sealed shut. The classic fluttering of her stomach was addictive.




Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 08



"Sabrina," It was first thing he'd said. The first thing to leave his lips while in her company after over 2 months was her name. To hear it subdued all her worrying and fear. She slowly turned around to face him, with a solemn expression. But the first thing she spotted was a tall, beautiful green eyed brunette clinging to his arm and robbing her of her heart. 

1 MONTH EARLIER 

"I'm going back to Maryland." Keegan looked her right in the eyes. As if on cue, a little glitter flickered in her orbs. Keegan sunk deeper into the soles of his feet from across the room. His back straightened and his breathing evened. They peered at one another for what seemed like minutes.

Keegan had a publisher back in Baltimore who was awaiting his first 15 chapters. His original reason for wanting to return was enough but this added an extra sense of urgency. He'd gotten an email earlier in the week asking about his progress and if he was ready for another opinion. His publisher had no idea that his entire storyline had changed a month ago. 

Keegan had more than half his book completed in less than three weeks. So much growth in such a small amount of time meant long nights, early mornings and almost nothing in between. His only escape from his withdrawals had been his keyboard—where he could have his piece of Sabrina through characterization. It was a world in which he had complete control and that brought him a sense of calm. 

Conversation with Bethany was limited purposefully. 

"Well," Her voice wavered. "I want to go... with you." Keegan's reply was immediate.

"No." 

"Just for a few days and I'll come home." 

"I have things I need to do. I won't have time to babysit you." Keegan headed for his laptop in Bethany's direction. He strolled past her reclining frame without acknowledging her any further. 

"I don't need to be babysat." Keegan was caught off guard by the power in her so-thought timid voice. Against his instincts, he didn't spare her a glance and continued collecting his things to prepare writing. "I just need to get out of this state. I'm sick of people treating me like I'm.. still suicidal." The second sentence trailed off into a break of silence. 

*

Keegan agreed to let Bethany stay at his place in Maryland for a week. 

Within a second after agreeing to her idea, Keegan regretted it. A familiar deep, pain pounded the base of his stomach and he knew he'd fucked up once again. It was the same eerie sensation he'd felt when he broke up with Bethany over the phone. Although he was quickly occupied by Sabrina and their first sexual experience together, so there wasn't much time to dwell.

He had set plans of exchanging emails before she left back for Florida so they'd stay in touch as friends. It felt cruel of him to spoil her stay by telling her their relationship's official state. Although he was sure she was already aware, maybe in some sort of denial, but fully aware. 

With his professional writing career finally beginning to blossom, he decided it was time for him to lose his old identity. His dreads had always been a symbol of rebellion against his father and self realization—teenage angst. Their age mimicked the years he'd started siding with himself and pursuing his writing. Although now his book was close to publication and he was stepping through a threshold that took him into corporate America. He had to let his work take his hair's place. So in a spur of the moment, he chopped his locks. His dirty blonde was subjected to an auburn-black once buzzed less than an inch long. The military cut accentuated his sleeve of tattoos and overgrown beard.

Keegan found that the tattoo shop was his unknown vice. The buzzing and slicing pain brought him incomprehensible tranquility. His entire right arm was sheathed in mixed sentiments. His hometown was represented through palm trees and other various perfectly sketched pieces of art. But the most important piece of his sleeve was the spot on replication of Sabrina's eye. 

She needed to be incorporated somewhere, and he couldn't think of anything more enticing than her brown pools. The eye wasn't out of place as he made sure to add many miscellaneous pieces in his sleeve that each told their own story. Many people were too captivated by its vibrancy and flawless penmanship to ask about them individually. 

Bethany's deep sigh brought Keegan out of his own mind. She delicately placed her feet onto the warm dashboard one at a time, making sure to cross her thin ankles. Keegan glanced at her pale toes before looking at her briefly. Just as he'd looked to her, their eyes met. 

He averted his gaze quickly—fearful that she'd interpret his look as something else. 

*

"I haven't seen her." Connor told Keegan honestly. 

His first day back in town had to be spent with his best friend. They'd kept in contact as much as their lives would allow. He knew almost everything that'd happened—except that Bethany was still around. 

"I've been thinking about calling her, but I know she won't answer." Keegan fiddled with a string of thread hanging from Connor's couch pillows. Keegan took a glance around the living room and noted the feminine touches. The corner tables held wooden coasters and scented candles were lit across the entryway. 

"You're right, she probably won't." Connor said nonchalantly. Keegan scoffed at his honesty. He hoped Sabrina wasn't over him quite yet. He wouldn't be surprised if her strong will had her completely out of love with him by now. But he just had to keep hope that she still had a piece of something for him so he could work on reinforcing it. "Just don't wait too long to get in contact with her."

Keegan would try but his self-conscious would be hard to overcome. 

*

1 MONTH LATER

"Hurry up." Bethany was clawing at the hem of her tight, cocktail dress from the sidewalk. Keegan was already irritated that all the parking spaces beside the brand new bar were taken. He had to park over 4 blocks away. 

He was too caught up with his publisher to get home at a decent hour so he'd be on time for Connor's grand opening. After coming home to see Bethany lounging around in a towel as if they didn't have somewhere to be, he had to wait an extra 15 minutes for her toenails to dry. They left his apartment a few minutes after 8:00.

When they drove past the packed bar, she caught up with the liveliness. After a few weeks of being stuck in the house, trying to stay out of Keegan's way so he wouldn't notice her extended company, she was excited he'd invited her out. She knew it was an act of self pity but she couldn't get herself to care. It was a small advancement in her master plan.

Keegan opened the bar's front door and smirked to himself. It touched him to see all of Connor's thoughts and ideas in action. Both of their 'Library Dreams' were coming to life. He winded through the restaurant styled tables to what seemed like a different building. The music got louder, the smell of alcohol got stronger and the lights grew dimmer. The Dj's bass resounded in every object in the room but no one noticed. Everyone was too busy dancing and conversing. 

Bethany latched onto his forearm. Keegan's instinctive reaction was to pull away but he caught glimpse of her wiry fingers. They were extended across the room, pointing at something 20 or 30 feet away. Keegan squinted into the distance, trying to recognize something. It was difficult because they were right in the middle of the two unusual bar styles. So there was vibrant light behind him but a dark, club like feel in front of him. 

"That's Quincy, isn't it?" Keegan could only see the back of his head until he looked momentarily to his right . Only then could his angular profile be seen. Quincy wouldn't come to this sort of thing without a woman on his arm. According to him, his personal woman of choice as of the last few months had been Sabrina. 

Keegan took sturdy steps toward the small bar table and stool. His heart was quickening as he did.

A part of him hoped Sabrina was here—just so he could see her again. Although a larger part was still ashamed of all he'd done to her. He wanted to try and fix his mistakes just so he could say he attempted and put his hoping to rest. 

As they approached Quincy, the number of people blocking his view thinned out. He could now see 3 other people engaging with him. It seemed to be a serious conversation. Connor and Leslie were 2 of the 3 other people.

Their expressions were mortified and Quincy's was as he expected; pissed. 

He looked over to the mystery frame. 

"Sabrina." It was out of place for that to be the first word to leave his mouth, but he didn't care.

He sighed deeply, with his eyes still locked with hers. She was beautiful; different from the girl he'd fallen in love with yet still completely the same. He started with her hair—pressed straight, full of healthy volume and lightly skimming her protruding collar bones. Her deep almond skin had a light sheen that left him salivating. Since she was sitting, in order to look up at him she needed to expand her already enlarged auburn eyes. They were accentuated by a burnt gold color on her eyelids and mascara on her upper and lower lashes. Her stricken expression required her full lips to part widely, he was guessing it was an attempt to get more oxygen to her galloping heart. They were glossed in a sinister brown and any bit of light in the room was reflected off of them.

He could see her attention divert elsewhere and he followed it.

He'd been too caught up with the idea of Sabrina being within feet of him to realize Bethany was still latched onto his arm. The awkward situation had her clutching his tattooed forearm even more than before. It was definitely a 'relationship' stance and probably the best way of making sure his plan of speaking to Sabrina never happened.

"Keegan." It was a composed reply but Keegan knew better. There was a pregnant pause as everyone assessed the level of information each person in the circle had and tried to empathize with how they were feeling. The only person left entirely clueless was Bethany, and that was apparent. 

"I didn't know you'd be here Quincy!" Bethany outstretched her hands to hug him. Quincy was apprehensive, silently praying that her embrace didn't give away his relationship with Sabrina's ex. But as he peered over Bethany's soft bare shoulder, briefly meeting with his date's eyes, he knew she was already well past the level of suspicious. 

"Yeah, well I'm Connor's accountant." Keegan gave Connor a hard stare. 

He was livid. Connor had never met Quincy or heard his name and neither had Sabrina so he could only blame himself for their cluelessness. He was too focused on keeping Quincy and Bethany from poisoning his fresh start. In his subconscious he knew Quincy was capable of unfathomable maliciousness after decades of watching him struggle with internal and external conflicts. If he had even taken a foot onto Quincy's bad side, he would've used Sabrina and Connor to hurt him. It was all easier to keep their identities separated.

"Nice to meet you both—" Leslie put on a strained smile. "I'm gonna head to the bathroom for a second. Sabrina?" Sabrina didn't give it a second thought and hopped of her stool to follow Leslie through the throng of people. After a few seconds of walking, Sabrina noticed that they were heading toward a more secluded part of the bar. She lead her down a weakly lit hall and unlocked a high metal door. Sabrina wasn't going to question where she was taking her, she was just glad she didn't have to deal with Keegan and all this new information.

Quincy knew Keegan. 

She couldn't even understand what that idea meant for her—but she knew it couldn't be good.

Leslie stood aside so she could enter the isolated room. After taking a few steps, the door was closed and a light was switched on to reveal an office. Connor's big oak desk sat in the corner of the room with a couple unpacked boxes on top. There were a few tall crates at the rear of the room and Leslie went to get them. The walls were a dull grey and depressingly barren. 

Sabrina hadn't noticed that she was moving with a tiny sense of urgency until she watched her toss the two boxes near each other. Sabrina took a seat as she continued to watch Leslie. She scurried over to the desk and kneeled down out of sight. A deep rolling sound was heard momentarily and she reappeared shortly after. Her hands were filled with two large cups and a full bottle of Fortaleza tequila. 

Sabrina smiled; that seemed to be just what she needed. Leslie placed the cups on the edge of the office desk and poured a generous amount into each. She outstretched her hand to Sabrina and she eagerly took the strong drink.

"Thank you." She said before downing a large gulp. It went down smooth, warming her core and forcing a bit of heat out of her nose. She relaxed just a little more. 

"I heard a lot of great things about you." Leslie said, starting conversation with a bit of honesty. When she and Keegan were together, Connor would come home proclaiming how similar he thought the two women were. Leslie was always eager to meet her and see if those claims were true but suddenly they'd broken up. 

"Same here." Sabrina responded. She wondered if Leslie knew anything she didn't. It'd be easier for her to hear it from her than anyone else. The unfamiliarity gave her a strange comfort. "Um..." She cleared her throat before crossing her ankles.

"Do you know anything about her?" Sabrina decided to put it out there. Leslie contemplated the question for a second.

"I just know Keegan's been talking to her since he got back—but don't quote me. Connor hasn't been telling me much." Sabrina nodded silently. She needed Rochelle. Her best friend would be the perfect person to share her thoughts with. Leslie was sweet and she could see she was trying to comfort her, but she needed something specific. "What's your number?" Sabrina asked. Leslie reached into her back pocket for her phone and the two exchanged numbers.

"Well," Sabrina downed her last bit of liquor without a flinch. "We should probably head back. Thanks for everything—I hope we get to talk more in the future. Under better circumstances, of course." She stood as Sabrina did.

"Yeah, no problem. I'll let you know if I find out anything." She led the way out of the room and Sabrina followed. Just as she was praying for the effects of her drink to kick in, she spotted the open balcony doors across the room. The voyage there would leave her undetected by the group.

"Leslie," Sabrina lightly touched her arm. "I'm going to the balcony." 

"Okay but wait," She waved over a waiter carrying a tray of shots. He hurried over to fulfill his manager's girlfriend's request. She plucked two glasses and handed one to Sabrina. They threw back the alcohol in synchrony. They looked at one another as it passed roughly and laughed at the other's expression for a second. 

"Thanks." Sabrina said before sauntering off into her much needed seclusion. 

Leslie prepared herself for any questions the group would ask her about their 20 minute departure and Sabrina's absence. She could see that Keegan and Connor were doing most of the talking but the tension was still thick.

She brushed her hand along Connor's back so he'd know she returned. Keegan was itching to ask about the missing woman but didn't want to make Quincy feel too threatened. If he knew Keegan was as adamant as he was about speaking to her that night, he'd be stuck to her like glue.

"Where's Sabrina?" Quincy looked around briefly before returning back to receive his answer. 

"I think she said...she," Leslie was racking her brain of a feasible lie. "She wanted to walk around for a bit outside." Her lying skills seemed to be better than she thought because not soon after he was off of his stool and shoving past people to get to the entrance. Keegan watched him leave. He was nervous and definitely worried about how Sabrina was feeling.

Quincy had gotten emotionally invested in her. Keegan could tell in how each second she wasn't around, he was massaging his fingers and glancing in the direction she'd left, hoping she'd return with a smile on her face. Although Keegan was feeling similarly on edge.

As he was turning back around to face Connor, Leslie and a silent Bethany, his eyes skimmed across the open balcony. There wasn't anyone there that he could see, but he knew that'd be the perfect place for Sabrina to hide. He put the beer he'd acquired on the now empty table. 

"I'll be back." He'd barely mumbled it. Just as his feet were taking him to the person he had been dreaming of speaking to, a hard hand caught his attention. He gave the cold appendage a similarly icy stare then looked to Bethany. 

"Where are you going?" Keegan didn't want to embarrass her in front of everyone, but she was asking for it. Her presence had already done enough damage and Keegan would not allow any more. He collected himself and angrily snatched his limb from the restraint of her talons.

Keegan walked outside of the glass double doors to a brick patio. There wasn't any furniture but there were twinkling Christmas lights overhead. He looked at where the string lights met and found that there was an upper level. To the left was a somewhat short staircase that lead to another patio. Keegan was careful about making his way up. He didn't want Sabrina to notice him until it was too late.

She was leaning over the balcony's fence, her forearms supporting her body as she looked over the lit city. Keegan glanced around, taking in the scenery for the first time. The scenic admiration was very short lived. His eyes soon refocused on Sabrina. 

Her bottom had thinned out into a less curvier shape. He could see her shoulders sticking out of her bare back and pushing into her still vibrant skin. He was almost certain Quincy had something to do with her size and that made him sick. He could also bet he was responsible for her pressed hair and the disappearance of her braces. 

"Still beautiful." It was much less than a whisper, but Sabrina still managed to respond. Her back straightened and she looked Keegan in his eyes, completely bewildered. Although in a 'Sabrina' like fashion, she collected herself, gave him an annoyed look and prepared to descend the stairs.

She placed her brown hand along the step's railing and lifted her foot in preparation. Keegan couldn't control his emotions and entered a small state of panic. 

He couldn't let her leave when he had a perfect opportunity. In an act of fear, he captured her wrist and pulled her back in his direction. Their bodies collided roughly and Keegan finally realized just how forcefully he'd grabbed her. She had balled up her fist and was in the midst of a violent protest when his voice paralyzed her.

"Please Sabrina." He'd whispered it right into the crease of her neck. It was a desperate sentence, full of need and desire that over time she'd convinced herself he hadn't had for her anymore. She pulled strength from her core and used it to push out of his hold. 

"Don't touch me—don't speak to me." She gave him a sullen look. 

She didn't know what to do, or what she was doing. He looked defeated and exhausted although she was sure it was her who should've resembled such a broken soul. She was confused but her stomach was turning with familiar butterflies. 

He was still so handsome. His hair was extremely different and changed his appearance drastically. But in his eyes, past the strange pain and longing, she could see the man she'd known. 

"Bri—," He'd taken urgent steps in her direction, but she retreated speedily. Her eyes were cast downward with her arms folded defensively across her chest.

"Sabrina." She corrected. 

"Give me a chance to explain everything out." 




Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 08



"You had the opportunity. You left me in the middle of the street when I wanted an explanation and I called you 100's of times. So no, I don't need to hear anything you have to say." 

"I want you to know. It doesn't have to be about you, I can't move on without you knowing the—" Just before he could get out the last word Sabrina let out a loud, frustrated groan. She threw her head back and laughed heftily.

"Keegan what the fuck do you want? You have a girlfriend. So what is it?"

"She is not my girlfriend. And I want a chance to tell you everything—from beginning to end." Sabina would be lying to herself if she said the truth didn't intrigue her. To know what he'd been doing these past two months would lessen her mental load and put some burning questions to rest. 

"Well..." She swallowed in preparation for her lie. "I've moved on and that's all that matters. I wish you the best." 

"Moved on with who? Quincy?" Sabrina stared at him blankly as he confirmed her doubt. They knew each other, somehow. She wondered how much Quincy knew about the situation and how much he was hiding. Everyone seemed to be untrustworthy. "I didn't think you would stoop that low." Sabrina snorted.

"Anything would've been a step up from you." That hurt him. He'd always tried his best to love Sabrina the way she deserved but his huge mistake overshadowed all his attempts. 

"You know I'm still in love with you... I love you more than anything else." Sabrina couldn't handle his presence any more. She pivoted on her heel and skipped down the stairs promptly. She could hear his steps following closely behind her. As she was opening the tall glass doors, she paused and peered over her shoulder momentarily. 

Keegan's breath caught in his throat while he anticipated her to say something along the lines of what he'd just confessed. She parted her lips and closed them again.

"Stay here for a few minutes." 

Sabrina straightened her shoulders and maneuvered through the still large crowd. It actually looked like more people had shown up after she arrived. They still seemed alive and vibrant despite the amount of liquor everyone had probably consumed. Sabrina looked to Connor, Leslie, Quincy and Keegan's girl. She could see the unease on Connor's face. She felt a little bad about ruining his grand opening with this mess. It was clear he was proud of his accomplishment but was too caught up in other people's problems to enjoy himself. 

She could sense that Quincy saw her but she refused to make eye contact. 

A rushing heat of rage washed over her as she closed the distance between them. He was tuned into her but her attention appeared to be elsewhere. Leslie and Keegan's girl were engaging in a small banter—one woman clearly more enthusiastic about the conversation than the other. Sabrina looked to the pale woman and finally took in her appearance. 

She had to be at most a size 4. Her tiny little wrists were flying around while she spoke. Her brown hair was full and cut bluntly around her waist, signaling that it'd once been longer. She had thin lips and a slender, slightly crooked nose. 

Sabrina was suddenly annoyed by her presence and exhaled nosily as she averted her gaze. She was searching for a drink. 

"Get me a drink, Quincy." He hardly noted the jaggedness of her voice and turned to snatch a glass off of a nearby waiter's tray. He handed it to Sabrina and she took it silently. She had no idea what it was but it was a brown drink that stung her nose powerfully when she took a sip. She heard the name 'Bethany' in the dialogue so she figured it was the woman's name.

"Where are you from?" Sabrina squinted at Bethany, blatantly scrutinizing her. When Keegan approached on her left, she briefly looked up to him as if his presence would get her out of speaking to Sabrina. Or maybe it was her reaction to realizing Keegan knew Sabrina, but Sabrina did not know her. Either way, it took her awhile to reply.

"Florida." Sabrina took another sip and looked inquisitively into the glass. 

"I thought Florida was a sunny state?" Sabrina didn't even realize she had made a small, childish jab until it was too late. Her lightly intoxicated disposition wouldn't even allow her to feel remorse. Leslie picked up on the awkwardness immediately and tried to save the mood for the second time of the night.

"So how long have you been in Maryland?" Keegan stuffed his hands into his pockets; a natural response to his discomfort. Sabrina narrowed her eyes at him as they both awaited her answer.

"Ummm... a little over two mon—" 

"How long have you been together?" Sabrina's annoyance and frustration paired with her drunkenness had her feeling bitter. Her words were coming out sharper and her sentences a lot more forceful. 

"Almost three years." Sabrina's sip morphed into three long, deep gulps that showed the bottom of the glass. She leaned into Quincy and mumbled something lightly.

"Another."

"We are not dating and we haven't been for awhile." Keegan spoke directly to Bethany, turning her cheeks a light pink . Sabrina watched them pryingly, trying to see just what kind of relationship the two currently had.

"When did you break up?" The question was a bit too specific but Sabrina looked right at Bethany, steadily. Just as she thought, Keegan tried to interrupt. 

"Bethany." She reinforced who she was speaking to so she could silence Keegan. She wanted her response untainted and completely truthful. 

"6 months ago." Sabrina smiled lightly. She and Keegan had been broken up for only 2 months and dating for 6. So their relationships had overlapped for an entire 2 months. Meaning he'd lied to her about having someone back in Florida along with a strain of other things. Sabrina had had enough of them and their surprises.

"Nice meeting you." Sabrina said to Bethany, trying to clear the air, settle their tension and raise her hopes of seeing her again. She seemed to be her only source of truthful information. Connor, Keegan and Quincy had all proved themselves liars or ridiculously sneaky. 

"Leslie—nice meeting you. Don't be a stranger!" Sabrina waved to her just as she turned on her heel and stomped her way to the door. Quincy took his cue to follow. Sabrina reached into her clutch for her cell phone.

She found the first number in her recent call log and hit the green button. 

"Hello?" The answer was groggy and Sabrina pulled the phone away to check the time. She had completely forgot it was late; almost 12 in the morning.

"Hey Chelle, sorry I'm calling so late. But I need to see you." She yawned lightly.

"Of course—come on." Sabrina hung the phone up and turned around to see Quincy trailing her. 

"You have about 30 minutes to explain yourself to me, because after tonight," She stopped walking and turned to face the opposite direction of the sidewalk. Quincy stumbled over his feet, trying not to walk into her suddenly still fame. His eyes were large—like a little kid about to be scolded. He'd been wearing the expression for quite some time. "I hope to never see you again."



Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 09



Quincy jumped right into his timed spiel and Sabrina continued walking to the car. 

"Well—Sabrina it's difficult to explain this when you haven't heard Keegan's side yet." Quincy didn't want to ruin Keegan's opportunity to make himself look bad. He wanted Keegan to tell her the tale of his intersecting relationships and his trip to Florida. But Quincy needed to tell Sabrina how he'd come into contact with her to begin with, which was through trying to do a favor for his ex-best friend. 

"Either you talk now or never—give me the keys." They had approached the Audi and Sabrina turned to him with her arm outstretched. 

"What? You aren't driving my car." He was almost certain he saw Sabrina's full top lip elevate in the left corner. Her eyes were dark and expressive.

"Give me the keys, Quincy." Her voice was booming and hearty, coaxing him to hand over his car out of fear. He didn't want her upset to the point that made reconciliation impossible. She jumped into the driver's seat and for a second he wondered if she would've pulled off even if he hadn't gotten in a second after her.

She started the engine and whipped out of the parking space and onto the road.

Sabrina had to admit that driving his nice car so recklessly eased her frustrations. It was the equivalent to yelling into a pillow, but only she was putting sweat on Quincy's brow in the process which was an added plus. She could feel the rubber leaving its mark on the black pavement.

"You have 20 minutes." She reminded. 

"Okay..." His voice croaked. She wasn't sure if it was because of the situation or the fact that she'd turned a corner at 35 miles an hour. "Well, Keegan wanted me to lie to you the day I met you at the dentist." 

"You were living with him in his apartment?" Her tone was so forceful, he felt the need to answer her questions immediately after she'd finished asking them.

"Yes. But when I saw you, I had a lot of animosity toward Keegan so I saw you as an opportunity to get back at him. I did a good amount of manipulating to pull you toward me..."

"Like?" Quincy sighed as he tried to subdue his embarrassment.

"I paid someone to tow your car... which was also the day you got evicted from your apartme—" Quincy was cut short by his head being knocked into the window on his right. After the first blow he was able to dodge the second and capture Sabrina's wrist. She'd been smushing his head with her palm, occasionally slapping him right on his nose. 

"Sabrina—baby I'm sorry!" He shouted, trying to restrain her. 

"Get off of me!" She snatched her arm back and took deep, wavering breaths. Luckily there weren't many people on the road so late at night because she was swerving quite a bit. A 30 second silence fell between them and Quincy almost thought he was free to end his story. 

"Finish!" She shrieked, scaring him half to death with the rigidness of her high tone. 

"Well, I got to know you and I started to see you for the beautiful, intelligent wom—"

"I don't want to hear it." She was done with the sugar coating bullshit. Apparently she'd heard her fair share of it these past few months. 

"Keegan ended up having to leave Maryland, but I'll let him tell that part. He thought I'd done his dirty work for him so I avoided him while I spent time getting to know you. I told him about a month ago that I hadn't." 

"What did Keegan do to you?" She asked curiously. 

"Keegan and I moved here together. I thought it'd be about us—going out together, being adults together. But a few weeks after we got here, he met you." And he left it at that, as if it was all self explanatory from there.

"And?" Sabrina prompted. 

"And, I hardly saw him. It felt like I'd moved here alone."

"So you felt like complicating our—" She was doing it already; feeling sympathetic toward Keegan. Her body was subconsciously displacing little pieces of blame and settling them elsewhere to alleviate Keegan from under the rubble of his mistakes. "my life, because you were sitting at home on Saturday nights?" At this point, she was pulling up to Rochelle's house and Quincy knew his time was up. Sabrina looked to the front door to see Rochelle already in the doorway.

She had her arms crossed over her chest, still a bit drowsy from her sleep. Her wavy curls were piled into a massive bun on the top of her head and she wore loose shorts and a tee stained with baby foods. 

Sabrina nearly ran out of the car, leaving it running and hardly putting the gear into park. She knew as soon as she stepped through that threshold, she was free to release all her suppressed thoughts and emotions. That realization put adrenaline in her veins. 

Quincy, however, was set into a state of panic. He wasn't sure what this all meant for him. Their car talk seemed to go better than planned, but he still wasn't sure if this was officially it. He didn't want to give up quite yet. He opened his strides to join her up to the home. 

"Sabrina, I didn't want to hurt you—you know that right?" Sabrina was transfixed and hardly noticed Quincy's pleading in her ear. Quincy outstretched his arm to try and grasp her—anything on her with hopes of keeping her still. But she easily maneuvered herself out of his reach. 

"That's a nice car, Quincy." Rochelle called while waiting for Sabrina to venture up to the front door. 

"Thank you, Rochelle." Quincy replied stiffly. He'd grown a distaste for Sabrina's best friend. The reasons being a mixture of Sabrina's family practically forcing their sentiments onto him and her blatant inability to suppress her opinions when talking to Sabrina. Sometimes he wondered if those two reasons were connected to one another. 

"You better be careful—those are sports tires right? I'm sure they're pretty expensive to replace." Quincy tried to ignore Rochelle's vicious half smile and focus on Sabrina.

Either way, he knew that if Sabrina was unsure as to what to do about the situation presented to her, Rochelle's recommendation would be the route she went. He just hoped the route led her right into his arms. 

*

"At least you know he still loves you." Rochelle startled Sabrina with what she'd said. She sat up on her elbows to stare at Rochelle from the edge of the bed. It was the first thing she'd said after Sabrina spent 20 minutes explaining the entire night. 

"You're saying that as if it's something good, and I honestly doubt he does." Sabrina lifted her other foot to let Rochelle take off her shoes. She placed them on the floor with the other. 

Rochelle decided to let Sabrina stay in the guest room for the night. She needed a ride back to Quincy's house to pick up her car and Rochelle didn't feel like taking her then. She gave Sabrina one of her tee shirts and was now in the process of tucking her into bed so they could vent until the next morning. 

"You're still in love with him so you should hear him out."

"I cannot believe you." 

"What?" She asked expectantly, while throwing her arms up into the air. "Who's shit would you rather put up with? Someone you love's shit or someone you don't love's shit?" 

"Why can't I leave them both alone? I'm falling out of love, slowly be surely." 

"Not possible." Sabrina groaned deeply.

"So what do you want me to do? Go back to Keegan?" It was a rhetorical question, but Rochelle's answer had once again astonished her. 

"Maybe not right away, but I do think he has a good reason for everything he's done. You need to give him a chance to explain himself and regain your trust. Then see how you feel after." Sabrina was watching her closely—searching for any sign of mockery.  

Rochelle, at one point had to do a lot of this, so Sabrina shouldn't have been surprised. When she and Yoel were patching up their marriage there was lots of trust regaining and self explaining going on. She was familiar with the situation of dealing with a loved one's "shit", as she would say. 

But Sabrina wasn't married, and she was in no way obligated to deal with Keegan's shit. 

"I don't want to see how I feel after. I want to get over him." Those sentences were stern and straightforward, but they felt strange. Sabrina was now clad in only Rochelle's tee. She climbed into bed with her and they cuddled loosely on the full sized bed. The tableside lamp left a yellow tint in the corner of the room.

"You could really fuck with him. Get some good gifts out of his sorry ass. Maybe he'll do that thing men do— crawl up to you on their knees while crying and bury their face right in your puss—" Sabrina choked out a laugh.

"Rochelle. Okay." She replied on a laugh. The part that made it humorous was her seriousness. 

"Sorry," She sighed. "I just really love that shit." Sabrina could learn to love it too. Keegan begging and tripping over himself to please her would have its perks. 

"How'd the girl look?" Sabrina hadn't said much about Bethany, only saying that she was there and her presence got under her skin immensely. Only now did Sabrina fully get to sink into her insecurities. 

"She was..." She sighed, shrugging her shoulders as she failed to come up with another word. "beautiful." 

"You're beautiful too—don't think you aren't." And Sabrina didn't think she wasn't attractive, she just questioned her beauty in reference to Keegan's standards. 

"I know, thanks. I just can't help but wonder how he could've gone from her to me." Unless her mother was right. Only then did it make sense as to why he'd pursue her. It was impossible to hold a black woman to European standards of beauty. He needed to create his own if he wanted to be successful with bedding one. 

That was the only explanation that fit, but it still didn't feel right to her. She couldn't picture the innocent, mesmerizing man she met in that park having such malicious intentions. She didn't want to believe their relationship had started as a bucket list scratch off.

"You'll never know unless you ask." Rochelle seemed to be responding to her personal thoughts as well. 

"Well, I never want to know. I only listened to Quincy because I needed him to get here." She wished she could fast forward a few months into a new point of life where this entire thing was blurred around the edges from time; it's emotions dulled. 

"You need to hear his side. You'll never get over this until you do." 

"Well I'm never getting over it."

*

Sabrina was ready to start her clean slate. 

She wasn't going to feed into Keegan's plot. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of disappearing and returning as if her life had frozen while he was away. Although her core was burning to hear him explain himself, so she could sit back and scrutinize from nearby. But she knew doing so would give him more of her attention than he was worth. 

Sabrina was in love with her condo. Quincy may have had a terrible objective when paying for her car to be towed, but the outcome was great. Her new place allowed pets and was right on the outskirts of town. She was a mere 10 minute car ride away from the dental office. 

It was Sunday, so she was preparing for church. She had a hot cup of Colombian coffee in her hand as she waited for Venice to exit the apartment for their morning stroll. She hadn't gotten out of her pajamas yet so she still wore loose shorts, a tank and bed slippers. Right outside of their building was a long stretch of grass that led to a thin forest. There was a gravel path that Sabrina liked to walk idly.

The air was dewy from the lack of sun, and she hoped the moisture didn't taint her wrapped hair. She sipped on her mug lightly, enjoying the rich taste. She ran her tongue over her smooth teeth out of habit, still waiting for the day she'd be happy about not feeling any metal. 

The nuisance had always been a reminder that she was free to perform her childish, comforting routine. There was so much stress relief in sucking her thumb that she hadn't appreciated until she could no longer do it. If she did, she'd waste $4,000 and force her dreaded overbite to return. 

It was almost a juxtaposition to clean people's teeth with braces on. So she purchased a plastic cast to wrap her thumb in and wore it for a solid two weeks. After that, she visited her orthodontist and announced that the time had come for their removal. She truthfully, hadn't felt the same since.

*

"Where's Quincy?" It was the first thing her mother said when she saw Sabrina. Her eyes were wide with worry, occasionally glancing at the entrance. Sabrina couldn't say she was surprised by her behavior. 

"Hello ma. I'm doing well, thank you." Sabrina repositioned Mena on her hip so she could lean in to hug her mother. Her hug was light and impersonal, not quite embracing her but just going through the motions. Sabrina met her eldest sister Brittany's icy stare. She and Ivy were positioned a foot behind their mother. Brittany looked like a body guard, ready to take Sabrina on herself if she needed to. 

The organ reverberated from the room next door, signaling that the service was about to start. Sabrina was thankful because she'd need words of encouragement to deal with them. Something told her that they'd handle her 'break up' much worse than she had. Although, to her shock, her mother stayed put. Her honey tinted eyes were settled sternly on her as people shifted around them.

"Where is he?" Sabrina could feel herself getting angry.

"We aren't together." The words had a tight sound to them, hinting at how she felt like screaming the sentence. She watched as her mother's nostrils flared and relaxed, her lips creasing from the pressure. She and Sabrina competed in a hard stare down, challenging the other to submit first. 

"I guess it's impossible." Her mother snarled. "You just can't keep a man, let alone a good man."

"Yeah, well I learn from the best." Sabrina couldn't explain how foreign that hatred felt exiting her body. It felt different, but she didn't feel guilt or remorse and that scared her lightly. Her mother retreated the tiniest bit, and she could hear Brittany's gasp behind them. There was silence for once—the silence of words and tension but shock left a heavy aurora. She used that as her opportunity to leave the room and sit in the back of the church.

They filed in a minute later, sitting in their usual spots at the front. Two seats beside her mother were empty, and there might as well have been spotlights on them. The congregation eyed the vacant seats and searched around anxiously, wanting to know where their favorite successful brown couple was. But once they saw Sabrina tending to a baby in the back, completely alone, they gave her pitied expressions and turned back to the front.

Sabrina had to admit, "Being" with Quincy had made everything better. It made her feel more accepted within her family, more of a perfect woman to the church and had taken her mind off of Keegan substantially. Their relationship was more of an unspoken agreement than it was a real relationship. She was his 'perfect' black trophy to his colleagues and he was her sense of belonging. 

Quincy had a terrible character, but it was never intentional. She could never effectively get herself to dislike him because he was himself. He wasn't humble, he wasn't selfless but he never pretended to be. He was uncensored and unapologetic—naturally and for some strange reason, that was the aspect she liked about him the most. 

But the lying was just too much.

"Goodmorning." The Bishop greeted everyone as he normally did, making eye contact with those in the first few pews; his relationship with them being the closest. His sermon described how people were shaped and molded for service by God. The only thing left to do was utilize His tools and spread His word. It seemed blandly familiar. 

Sabrina was struggling to keep her thoughts clear enough to focus. Every blink contorted her train of thought onto a much busier road. 

The feeling coursing through her was both familiar and unfamiliar. The isolation and outcast-like relationship she was having with her mother and sisters was something she'd grown accustomed to. Once again, making her own decisions and straying from the posse had wedged a high and long block between them that had once been a free space for connection. 

Two or three months ago, she'd be content with this. Her heart wouldn't clench and she wouldn't give their side glances a second thought. But the fact was that she'd grown accustomed to her bit of solidarity. So accustomed that she'd forget how it felt to be on the outside looking in. She looked past the bishop and into the choir, which was where she found Rochelle. 

Her eyes were inquisitive and expectant, while still trying to maintain some level of concealment. Sabrina sighed before she shook her head lightly; telling Rochelle that walking in alone landed her back at square one. Her expression was sympathetic and Sabrina rolled her eyes in response, trying to brighten the silent conversation. Her pity was uncomfortable.

Sabrina was in the midst of repositioning Mena on her lap when something caught her eye. She froze still, only her eyes following the figure entering beside her.

A dark button down and long grey slacks maneuvered their way down the aisle with purpose—the man had a drive in his steps. Sabrina watched Quincy take his special seat beside her mother. She saw him outstretch his arm to comfortingly place it around her shoulders. Sabrina was seething. 

Her mother leaned into him a bit, obviously glad to see him. They chatted a bit; she never talked during service. Sabrina watched closely, wondering just how much about their situation Quincy was willing to reveal. She knew it couldn't have been much, a majority of it was centered around the fact that he was a liar. He wouldn't ruin his persona. 

Sabrina looked to Rochelle to see if she'd noticed his unwelcomed debut. Sure enough, Rochelle sang her words seamlessly, all the while keeping a hard side eye on Quincy. Sabrina was thinking of her escape plan when Quincy and her mother turned to face her. 

She could only guess Quincy had inquired about where she was and why she wasn't sitting with her family. So he mother peered briefly over her shoulder, uncaringly pointing her out. Quincy, however, held his gaze a bit longer. Just long enough to visibly see Sabrina scoff and prepare to pack her things up to leave. 

She'd stop going to church before she had to deal with this every week. Knowing Quincy, this wouldn't be his last cameo. He wouldn't give up until she did, and that would never happen. She threw Mena's diaper bag over her shoulder and was in the midst of shuffling out of her pew when she was stopped by a booming voice. 

"Congregation!" The Bishop asked the crowd for their attention. They all replied with light hollers and hooting. "The Lord has sent me an important message and I'd like *all* of you to listen." He made a special effort to catch Sabrina's eyes. It took everything within her not to curse at that moment. She and the Bishop had a close relationship when she was adolescent. When her parents were divorcing, he'd been there and their relationship strengthened. But as she got older, they drifted apart although his authority and influence was still prevalent. She couldn't defy him. 

She took her seat as the room grew quiet with anticipation. Mena cooed lightly in her arms and Sabrina shifted her on her lap. The Bishop wiped his face with a small towel he'd had on the podium. 

"We all have some tough problems— work, friends, family. Whatever it is, it isn't easy to deal with." He got a few praises at different corners of the room. He made examples of situations— money was tight this month, passing of a loved one, infidelity, he related to every person in the room. It was leading up to what he was about to say next.

"But we cannot forget what is most important. Who will get us through these rough patches and lead us to a better day." This was why he'd wanted her to stay. "Don't let your personal issues keep you from being personal with God." He was right. Sabrina wouldn't let Quincy, her mother or her sisters come between her faith. She needed all she could get to keep her sane.




Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 09



He'd dismissed everyone a little early, and Sabrina nearly ran for the exit. Since she was the nearest to the door, her path was clear. Mena and her diaper bag definitely slowed her down but wind was still whipping around her head. Although still, she knew Quincy was coming for her. He was on her heels and she could feel it. 

Her destination was behind the stage, where the choir and bible study rooms were held. All she had to do was disappear into a hall and tell Rochelle was she was with a quick text. Quincy would be clueless and sooner or later, he'd leave. She was about to make a left hand turn when a hand along her elbow kept her in place. 

He was panting, beads of sweat beginning to form on his pitiful little forehead. Sabrina's body was cooling at his touch, his finger prints scorched her skin and put adrenaline in her blood.

"Why are you touching me?" She snapped herself from his hold and continued on her way, but Quincy risked his life and jumped in her path.

"I'm taking your mom and sisters to lunch." She wasn't sure if he was inviting her, or trying to get under her skin even father than he already was. She gave him an expectant look before repositioning Mena.

"I could've sworn I told you to never speak to me again." 

"Quincy!" Rochelle approached from behind, a joyous smile on her face and a pep in each step and she came nearer. "How're you and that beautiful car?" She looked out into the parking lot and saw the topic right in the front, for everyone to see. "Just gorgeous. I see it's still in one piece, huh?" 

Quincy completely ignored her. "Do you want to come?" Sabrina side stepped him so she could align with Rochelle. She handed Mena to her mother and sauntered off toward the exit.

*

Keegan was up early. He woke up in a puddle of his own sweat, his dick throbbing and scorching his thigh. The light from the rising sun cast a tiny glow in the bedroom, illuminating his new furniture. His first check after sending in his first 10 chapters had been more than expected. The apartment Quincy had left him reeked of adolescent poverty. With his advance, he bought a mattress, headboard and dresser. The room was beginning to look like a room. 

Bethany had gotten his old blowup bed. Her first day in town, she thought that she'd be able to lay in bed with Keegan, as if they hadn't gone through what they had. As if he hadn't tried to travel 200 miles without her and forget her existence once more. Needless to say, she'd thought wrong. 

He eyed his brand new laptop in the corner of the room. His fingers were twitching for multiple forms of release. His first would include his favorite porn. The webpage was already bookmarked and ready for him. The page loaded up and the opening credits rolled. He pulled his member out of its confines and turned the volume up a little.

There she was. 

A woman who did her best to resemble the love of his life. Her skin was a a half shade darker, her bottom a little smaller— even after Sabrina's weight loss. She did have her big, natural hair that shined when the set's lighting hit it at an angel. Her eyes were almost as brown and expressive as the one's he'd fallen so hard for. When she kneeled down in front of the camera, to suck the cock of the actor above her, he was almost sure he could picture Sabrina. He often paused it at just the right second, where the pornstar looked the most like her, and daydream for an hour or two.

He needed to see Sabrina. He wasn't going to give up this easily. Quitting wouldn't be an option until he got the chance to say he'd done all he could to have her back. 

*

Sabrina was running late. Her braid out had came out horribly and she'd spilled coffee on her pink and white scrubs. So she had to clean off the seat of her car, go back inside her apartment and change. She then realized that coffee had morphed into a necessity and she needed to make a new cup. So she was taking large strides up to dental office building. She was bringing her coffee mug up to her lips when a vision caught her attention. She stopped dead in her tracks, feeling her face plummet. 

Keegan's car was parked along the concrete walkway. He was sitting on the hood, two dozen roses in his hand and a nervous expression on his face. Sabrina took a fleeting glance at the entrance, trying to quickly assess just how fast she could get herself out of this situation. Keegan must've caught on, because he put himself between her and the door. Sabrina shifted on her feet, trying to place her growing agitation. 

Keegan wasn't sure how this was going to work. He'd contemplated how to go about getting her attention, and this was the best he'd come up with. Now that he was standing on the street, people staring at them from the building's windows above, he was second guessing himself. This was too flamboyant for both he and Sabrina. But he was in her presence once more, so it'd served its purpose. 

She was livid. Remarkably adorable, but pissed beyond comprehension. 

"What are you doing?" The question was tight and tense. She refused to make eye contact with him. 

"I want to take you to dinner tonight." She gave him an incredulous look. Her mouth was parted in astonishment and her eyebrows were set at strategic angles to give her the perfect look of disbelief. 

"You need help. You can't come to my job." She tried to side step him, something she'd done at the party she'd seen him the weekend before. But he was there, moving as she did. They were closer now, less than a foot apart. She looked up at him, hoping her eyes were threatening because her heart had swooned. 

His smell was right under her nose. It wasn't a cologne or a special soap. The smell was specifically unique to him and it was something she'd tried to reimagine many times. But to have it right before her was impactful. 

"Please." She hadn't realized they were staring at one another until a honk in the distance brought her back. She took a step back and tried to catch her breath. Keegan unconsciously moved toward her— he almost reached his arm out to pull her back. "Sabrina, at least think about it." He pulled a full sized card from the middle of the bouquet and handed it to her. His messy script in the form of an S graced the cover. She snatched it, ready to leave his gaze. 

When she got to the office Rochelle was standing at the door, her hands on her hips and an evil eye headed straight for Sabrina. 

"You're a half an hour late. Erin had to take your—" Sabrina was trying to gather her thoughts and Rochelle's nagging was only making that more difficult.

"I'm sorry. I had a rough morning." The reply was robotic, but it was enough to send her off with a huff. Sabrina sat in one of the reception chairs and stared at the envelope. Her curiosity was getting the best of her. She felt guilty for caring so much but the corners were scorching her finger tips. She ripped half of the flap out of the fold, but stopped herself.

She had to know. The card was heart warming. The front was plain but moving. "I love you". That's all it said. That's all it needed to say. She could feel her eyes stinging from an internal pressure building from her core. She opened the card and was overwhelmed by how much he'd written. 

"Sabrina,

I love you. I don't think I can tell you enough. I am in love with you. I will always be. I'm not asking for forgiveness, I'm asking for a chance to explain myself. I've hurt you in ways I probably couldn't even imagine but knowing that, hurts me too. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Sabrina smiled, noting his cheesiness as well as her response. "Every day I wake up without you, I know that I've wasted another day. I want to know I did all that I could. I need you."

Sabrina looked up at the ceiling, trying to repress some of the tears that threatened to spill over. 

She missed him. She missed the man she'd fallen in love with but she had no idea where that man was. The man she'd loved so much wasn't capable of hurting her so deeply. She refused to believe it. 

The pads of her fingers felt tiny ridges on the back of the car. She flipped it over to see additional writing in the center. 

"Friday afternoon at 1:30. I'll meet be waiting for you." There was a small cafe's name right under that. She had 4 days to decide if she'd meet him.



Choices and Sacrifices



When they hit a two week mark without seeing their parents, Keegan grew a bit weary of Quincy. His mother had put the allowance in his account. He couldn't believe how suspicious he was getting. The image of Quincy enjoying a hot bacon cheeseburger, large fry and milkshake after work in the secrecy of his car was haunting him. Especially since Keegan had eaten Ramen everyday this week.

But Quincy promised Keegan he'd only use his allowance for emergencies until they began to really get on their feet. They came to that agreement the first week of their stay and Keegan laid his faith on it. He was counting on Quincy to do this the right way with him. He was almost certain this would be the experience that turned them into true men.

Keegan discovered a park minutes away from the library and decided he'd start visiting after work. It was his 7th visit and he was growing more accustomed to the large population of people around the area. The park had a track that morphed into a trail where dirt replaced asphalt and trees consumed either side of your body. It gave him a minute to truly relax.

He was jogging— more like sprinting along the asphalt portion of the trail. It was there that he lost sense of present life and entered a piece of his own brain. He had essentially lost himself within himself.

Keegan thought about how much he missed his mom. She was devastated to know he wanted to venture so far away from home. He didn't want to leave her, but he had to get away. A big change was what he needed and Quincy agreeing to join him only made him want it more. This was his chance to prove himself.

The thought of self approval sent mixed feelings throughout his body. It was probably because the word 'approval' usually had something to do with his dad. He loved his father and the fact that he thought about his opinion on his life confirmed that. But after spending a year of college pursuing a major of law that wasn't his own choice, he knew he had to do something. So he changed his major to English. He grew out his hair and managed to achieve the dreaded style he always wanted. The dreads would always remind him of the day he seemed to grow enough courage to live for himself.

The thought of hiding his poetry beneath his bed when the sound of footsteps seemed to compel themselves closer toward his bedroom made him livid. He thought of all the science clubs he joined afterschool while journalism went on right next door. He spent his entire childhood trying to meet goals that had never been set by him.

His mother was relieved that her son was taking charge of his life, but she still feared her husband's opinion. Keegan feared it too, but he soon got over it. His father had ignored him for a few months after the announcement. Sooner or later he began to warm up to the idea, but he still never treated Keegan the way he once did.

Quincy had been his rock throughout this point in his life. The two were the closest they'd ever been. Keegan found himself spending most of his days and nights with Quincy beside him. Quincy was supportive of Keegan's writing and often gave him ideas for stories. Then after they were completed, he'd spend hours of his day reading them; he was Keegan's biggest fan. He distracted him from his home life and focused him on what he loved. Quincy consumed Keegan's mind and left no room for worrying. Between the jokes, loyalty, honesty and spontaneity that seemed to come with his companionship, Keegan was at ease. But Quincy always thought of it as a favor returned.

Quincy's life hadn't always been smooth sailing as it seemed to have been now. When Keegan and Quincy first met their 10th grade year in high school, Quincy had his own family problems. Keegan's situation was nothing in comparison to his. Quincy's father had been one of the most active people in his life. Keegan's memory of him was still vivid, and each one left only a positive effect on him.

He'd joke around with the boys when Keegan spent the night. He would make them treats when Quincy asked and hand them over kindly. Quincy's father seemed to be everything Keegan would've ever asked for in a father. Although, Quincy never seemed to treat his father the way Keegan thought he deserved. While the boys were lying on the carpeted floor of Quincy's theatre room, Keegan decided to ask.

"Do you hate your dad or something?" He asked nonchalantly but Quincy reacted as if he'd screamed. He looked over at him, and away from the movie playing on the projector.

"No... why'd you ask that?" Keegan shrugged in response, never letting his eyes leave the screen.

"I was just wondering." Quincy knew all too well why he was asking. He sighed deeply and visibly relaxed. When he spoke again, his voice was much more hushed. It drew in Keegan's attention and he turned to face him.

"My parents... my dad isn't as kind to my mom as he is to us." Keegan's mouth opened and closed a few times like a suffocating fish. It was one of those moments where you had no idea what to reply. The sentence was enough to transmit the true situation of the seemingly perfect couple. His mother was sweet and always kind to Keegan. His father treated him like he was family. Although now, Keegan knew it was all an act to obscure their true emotions.

Now that he thought it over, he had hardly ever seen the two interact with one another. He couldn't even recall the last time they'd been in the same room for over 5 minutes. So Keegan was almost as relieved as Quincy was to know his mother had placed a restraining order on her husband and a divorce was to follow suit. Quincy hadn't seen his father since then, and a piece of Keegan knew he really didn't care where he was. He was just pleased to finally see his mother alleviated.

Keegan was brought back to life by an obstacle standing in the center of the trail. She was staring at the signs where there happened to be 3 passage ways. She read the information for each lane, trying to decide what it all meant. Keegan was about to side step her and continue his jog but she seemed to finally make up her mind within that split second. She crossed into Keegan's path and he slowed down to accommodate her speed. Nevertheless, she changed her mind again within that fourth of a second. So Keegan had no choice but to run directly into her unmoving frame. She let out a high pitched yelp as her body lurched forward, parallel with the ground below her.

Keegan couldn't allow himself to let her fall. He extended his arm outward and somehow coiled it around her midsection. The woman shut her eyes tight, an instinctive reaction to being an inch away from bashing your head into concrete. Keegan balanced her weight onto his forearm and finally took in their awkward position. She was directly between his legs. Keegan was hunched over, knees bent and waiting for her to regain her balance. Eventually she got her feet under herself again and she immediately turned around.

Keegan gulped roughly. She looked embarrassed yet completely beautiful. Her kinky natural curls were splayed atop her head and the light frizz was cute. In contrast, her deep chocolate skin was smooth and blemish free. She had perfectly arched brows above extremely long and thick lashes. Her black eyes were apologetic and their size gave her a childlike appearance. Her collarbones were protruding and her breasts were almost as pronounced. He was lost in a daze as her defined full lips parted to release a sultry, sexy rasped voice. But behind her lips were clear specs lining her perfect teeth. She had braces.

"I'm so sorry!" She apologized, searching his eyes for any sort of acceptance for the inconvenience. She knew how people liked to keep their heart rate pumping when they went out for a jog. When Keegan failed to respond to her, she nervously wiped a hand over the start of her hairline.

"I've never been here before and I didn't know which lane I should—"She was rambling. Keegan's admirable smile cut her off. His thin pink lips spread nicely.

"It's fine. I didn't know which one to do either when I first came here." He replied sweetly. They stood in front of one another gracelessly for another 15 seconds.

"Well, thanks—for helping me." She said, beginning to walk away from a sneering Keegan. He watched her approach another lane and re-read its sign. Her bottom swayed and beckoned him closer. He was hypnotized despite the fact a thin jacket tied around her hips hid the sight from his eyes. Her tiny purple Nike shoes were adorable on her feet. He took in her bright green tank top with a cross of straps in the back. Its vibrancy clashed pleasantly with her dark skin.

Keegan took a glance around and realized just how weird he looked staring after her. He decided to begin his run again but she caught his eye. She'd begun the easiest trail which was a few yards away from him.

"That's all you can do?" He called out with a full grin. She sneered at him as he tried to make her feel embarrassed. Little did he know, she wasn't the type to feel that sort of emotion. Her beautiful eyes were on him within a second and she gave him a sassy look with a welcoming grin. Every expression on her face seemed like a perfectly planned piece of art.

Soon trees were consuming him as he expected they would. The curtain of green put up a barrier between them and she was no longer in his sight. The usually peaceful run had become the exact opposite. His mind was busy at work and a smile surfaced on his face. She was a quirky girl with a hint of humor. She seemed like the type of girl a guy could be best friends with. And maybe Keegan might've loved to have another friend in this unfamiliar state, but her physical features would definitely make it difficult. Keegan kept replaying their encounter that could've been stolen right out of a cheesy romance movie.

"Race me!" A voice screamed beside him. His eyes grew wide as a breeze hit his body. The woman he'd just held was zooming past him and putting a considerable amount of distance on him. Just the fact that she was moving so fast was a temptation to chase after her and show her up. But his major incentive was his attraction toward her.

Keegan was subtly picking up pace before he'd even confirmed with himself he'd race. People were becoming a blur all around him. His eyes were locked on the curvaceous frame ahead. As if she could feel his presence behind her yet wasn't quite sure if he was there, she turned around for only a second. The hairs on the back of Keegan's neck stood tall when an addictive smirk formed on her lips and a loud cry of surprise filled the silent air. People's heads snapped toward the obnoxious sound but she didn't seem to care.

His presence gave her fuel and she picked up an even faster pace. She tried to ignore the tightness in her chest and the 'fat-girl' heaving exiting her mouth. Her arms were flailing around her as she tried to push herself forward. Keegan however, didn't even notice his body's strain. His thoughts were consumed by her. It didn't take much for Keegan to finally catch up. His legs were a few feet longer than hers but she was still around 5"10 so she was good competition. However her stamina and endurance needed a lot of work; she was beginning to slow down. Keegan inched up ahead of her.

A huge, 30 foot hill was approaching and Keegan saw her eyes widen in horror. He laughed as much as his lungs would allow. But nevertheless, she kept moving. Keegan ascended the hill in a decent amount of time and took a look around to find the woman was nowhere around. He put his arm over his eyes to shield the blinding sun and allow him to gaze down the grassy hill.

She was clawing her way to the top. Her bottom was high in the air and her hands were deep into the hill's side. A strip of her lower back was visible between her athletic tank and tied jacket. Keegan could feel himself stiffening at the sight, despite his fatigue. He had to look away to avoid embarrassment. When she finally got to the top, she put her hands on her hips and rested her weight on one leg. Sweat was trailing down her breasts and Keegan once again, had to keep solid eye contact.

She sighed deeply and gave him an expectant look.

"I'm Sabrina." She announced. She reached a hand out for his and Sawyer laughed.

"Keegan." He lifted his hand to meet hers but it felt as if she'd disappeared. Within one blink, her beautiful eyes had vanished and her body was clumsily descending the hill she'd just ascended. When she got to the bottom, she ran a little more. Keegan watched her in amazement; she really was quick for a girl. She used her legs to get her distance, but their alternations were a blur. She slowed down and turned around with a confused look on her face.

"You too tired? We didn't get to the ¾ mile!" Sabrina screamed.

"I'm giving you a head start." He replied. He waved his hand as if to signal her to continue.

"I'll be at the finish line before you even get down the hill." She screamed over her shoulder as she began running again. Keegan waited for her to get some more distance before he met up with her. They were almost at the end and he waited until the last minute to finally unleash all his power. He lurched himself ahead and crossed the mile line significantly before she did.

Keegan was confused as he watched Sabrina run a few more feet passed the mile mark. She crossed over the trail and collided with a tall, shady tree. She wrapped her arms around its trunk and pressed her face flush against it. A breeze blew the leaves and she released a heavenly moan when the cold air hit her body. Keegan chuckled lightly. He couldn't believe how much she'd gotten him to smile and laugh. Keegan strolled over toward her and met closed lids.

"Thanks for racing me; I wouldn't have gotten myself to move that fast without you." She said with her eyes still shut tight.

"No problem, it was fun actually." Her eyes flew open at that last comment. Sabrina pushed her eyebrows together tightly and looked at him incredulously.

"You're joking." She said. Keegan laughed at her facial expression and shook his head lightly.

"I'm not... You made it enjoyable." He flirted, giving her a sly smile. She didn't seem to get the feel of his comment because she acted unaffected.

"That run was the devil." She sighed, shutting her eyes again. Keegan smiled, that was a sentence his mother would say. She was the type of Christian woman to always curse bad things with association of the devil. Keegan knew Sabrina was a bible following type of person.

"Well I'll see you aro—"

"Do you have somewhere to be?" She asked honestly with sweetness in her voice that couldn't be ignored. Keegan had just finished work, and didn't have anything else to do for the rest of the day. Quincy wouldn't even be home for a few more hours. But even if he did have something to do, he'd give it all up to spend some time with Sabrina. That was certain.

"Nope. Why?" He asked. Sabrina sighed in contempt and laid into the grass. Her ponytail was spread above her head and she rested her hands over her ribs. She looked up at Keegan and briefly shot a glance at the spot beside her. He didn't take another second to reconsider his choice to lie down too. For a few minutes they both just shut their eyes and cooled off. Bikes whirled around them as dogs fetched their owner's ball in the distance. They didn't seem concerned with anything but relaxation.

"You aren't sleeping are you?" Her airless voice was heard directly in his left ear and Keegan opened his lids. He looked into her brown eyes and exhaled noisily. Her eyes could melt his insides if he allowed them to. Her orbs were round and very brown. He must have stared at her too intently because she speedily looked away.

"No, I'm not." He replied gingerly. She didn't say anything for the next few minutes. She just continued to stare at the sky, completely in a daze.

"Where are you from?" Her eyes were closed again, and her face was parallel with the canopy of leaves above her. "You have a little accent... Southern I want to say."

"I'm from Florida." Keegan replied. Sabrina let out a moan of contempt, as if that proved her accusations. It was a minimal sound but still effected Keegan's body.

"Why'd you move up here?" She asked.

"Well,--"

"I'm sorry, I'm prying into your life and I just met you. You don't have to answer that." Sabrina said sincerely.

"It's okay, I want to answer." Keegan didn't want her to think she was snooping, because for some reason he knew she wasn't. She was just boldly curious, and he admired that she was being herself. So he decided the best way to show his appreciation would be to try and return her attitude.

"I was living with my parents for too long, and I needed to get away." He explained simply.

"Understandable. Sometimes time apart is what you need to grow and realize your purpose without the interference of others; I get that." Sabrina's voice was hushed and almost a whisper. She was so compelled by this strange confession that she even added her own details.

"I did that too, about 4 years ago I went to school in Rhode Island. It was the best experience of my life; I'd learned all I needed to learn there. The freedom was just what I wanted... then. I needed to come home when it all was over. But I didn't forget what I'd learned and that's what was most important."

"I don't think I'll ever go back." Keegan whispered, catching the attention of Sabrina. She looked over toward him with her brows pushed together. Questions were zooming through her head when she heard the unmistakable force in his voice. She wanted to ask why he was so against his home state but decided she'd asked enough. They sat in silence for a few more minutes.

"You're the first woman I've ever met to be so comfortable with lying in the dirt." Keegan grumbled. Sabrina completely fascinated him. She was like nothing he'd ever met before.

"I don't think a woman's ever been as tired as I am right now." Her reply was instantaneous and caused Keegan to smirk.

"Meet me here tomorrow? Same time." Keegan proposed. Sabrina's face instantly turned up into a cute frown.

"Why don't you understand that I will be robbed of my mobility within the next 2 hours?" She asked seriously. She stared him hard in the face as if she really asked him a valid question and was awaiting the answer.

"We can walk." He whispered. She seemed to think about his proposition for a few seconds.

"Alright, but I'm going to bring my dog." She replied. Keegan nodded in response. Excitement coursed through his body at the thought of being in her company again.

"What kind of dog is it?" Keegan asked, genuinely curious as to which sort of pet she'd keep. He didn't know whether she'd have a Yorkie or a Boxer. Allthough oddly enough, either one would fit her well.

"She's a greyhound and Lab mix." She replied. When she referred to the dog's breed, a certain quality of voice caught his attention.

"How'd you get her?" Sabrina sighed, remembering the day she'd gotten the love of her life.

"I got her from a shelter. I was in 9th grade and my family and I went to look at what the shelter had. I had decided on a 2 year old Jack Russell, and we were filling out some forms at the front counter to finalize the adoption. But some staff rushed through the front door and caught everyone's attention," Keegan could tell Sabrina was captivated by her own recitation of the story. He looked over into her orbs and knew she had her own images behind them. "They had her in a blanket, and only her head was out. They zoomed her by me and we locked eyes. She kept my gaze until I was out of view. That was the day I knew love at first sight was a real thing. I nearly threw that Jack Russell back into its cage."

Keegan laughed. "I waited two months to get Venice. I visited her everyday afterschool, I just sat by and comforted her until they kicked me out."




Choices and Sacrifices



"She was hurt." Keegan inferred.

"Badly. Someone had run over her—breaking her pelvis. They just pushed her to the side and let her sit in agony." Sabrina gritted her teeth at the thought. It'd used to bring tears to her eyes to think of someone doing that to such a kind animal. But the tears were then replaced by rage. She'd do anything to see whoever had hurt her.

"What'd you do with her when you went to school?" Keegan asked.

"My parents had her. That was hard for me but I got my own apartment and got her as soon as I came back. She was never so happy to see me." Sabrina giggled openly, allowing Keegan to see her braces again. They hardly seemed like braces, but more like a cute accessory. The sun was setting so the orange and purples of the sky were setting a background to her beautiful smile.

"I'm not even supposed to have pets in my apartment." She disclosed. "But she's doesn't give me problems so she won't draw attention." Sabrina said, justifying the rebellion of her landlord's wishes.

"What are you doing here?—Like, as a job." Sabrina asked.

"I work at the library up the street—"

"Librarian." Sabrina corrected with a straight face.

"No, I work at the—" Keegan tried.

"So you're a librarian." She said slowly, pronouncing each syllable with distinctive diction. "There's nothing wrong with that, it's actually hot. Books are a turn on." She joked. Keegan gave her a disbelieving look. His eyes were closed to slits and his lips were pressed into a tight, unmoving line. Sabrina snorted on a laugh as she contradicted her earlier statements by non-verbally agreeing with his facial expression.

"But seriously, that's cool." She said after she'd finished laughing.

"I'm a writer too. I'm working on a book." He announced. Sabrina was genuinely intrigued.

"Really? What do you write?"

"Mostly science fiction, historical fiction. I've been trying my hand at romance but I don't think that's going to work out well."

"Yeah, I think that's the most difficult genre to write about. Love is a perception that isn't the same to everyone." Sabrina agreed. "You can research history for a novel and make up stuff as science fiction, but how do you credibly express love to thousands of different people?" They sat for a moment, letting her words sink in.

"Tomorrow, same time." Sabrina said suddenly. She slowly got to her feet a looked down on Keegan's face. He could fully notice her figure from that angle. Her hips were flared and freely perched below her tucked midsection. Her pear shaped body was only accentuated by her athletic clothing.

"Yep." He grunted as he got up too. They strolled back to the parking lot in silence. The park had definitely quieted as much as it'd darkened.

Sabrina slowed down when they approached a blue Kia. She leaned against the driver's side door and gazed up into Keegan's eyes with a smile playing on her lips. God, she was so cute.

"I had fun; you're good company to keep." Sabrina complimented. Keegan smirked out of self pride and looked into the distance for a quick second.

"I guess you're alright too." He joked. Sabrina rolled her eyes in false annoyance.

"Whatever, just be ready to walk tomorrow." She reminded. Keegan was overcome with emotion and zoned off in a daze. He just stared impassively into her eyes with a small beam pushing at his cheeks. He had no idea how uncomfortable Sabrina was growing, but even if he did, he probably still wouldn't have cared.

"Alright, I'll see you later." She said, regaining his consciousness. She opened her car door and sat inside. He watched as she back of her space and lined her car up with the road. She rolled down her window and gave him a worried look.

"Oh honey," She said intensely, putting a hand up to her mouth in surprise. "I think you might be drooling." Keegan quickly shut his mouth and his cheeks grew hot. He gave her a humored snide look for catching him off guard. Sabrina laughed openly at his mortification before she revved down the street and around the corner.