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Breathing Ch. 01

By: theonlinestalker



The ashen sky wept for her as flashes of light danced around the clouds. The leaves on the oak tree beside the church swayed and dipped with each gust of wind. It was as if the heavens had opened up suddenly for all of the occupants of St. Luke Church to witness. Inside, patrons turned in their seats with each crash of thunder. Their soft murmurs quickly turning into hushed whispers to the person sitting beside them.

Outside, an array of white and blue flew wildly in the storm. The wind swept through them, threatening to carry them away. Secretly she wished the wind would carry her with them. The door to the building laid completely open, giving pedestrians a view of the many chairs placed inside. 

Rows of them were placed strategically with a blue satin carpet running through the center. But this wasn't what caught the eye of the guest in the church. No, it was the mad dash they had witnessed just moments before. 

The murmurs were not from the intensity of the storm. They were from the site standing just outside the open double doors.

At the bottom of the steps, standing in the pouring rain, was the bride. 

Her raven hair clung to her face as drops of water ran down it. The ivory dress she wore weighed heavily on her body as she stood there watching nothing in particular. In fact, she felt nothing at all.

It felt like forever had swallowed her whole. Only it left her standing there with this empty spot in her soul. Apparently, forever was a bitch.

The sudden sensation of hands on her shoulder caused her to open her eyes. She wasn't even aware that she had closed them. Yet, she wanted to close them again, and never open them back up. The pain in her heart was too unbearable to do anything else. It was too unbearable to even breathe. At that moment, she cursed herself for doing just that.

How could life be so cruel?

Moments ago she had been standing in the dressing room of her church, staring at herself in the mirror. She had a smile that had been permanently plastered on her face since her fiancé had proposed to her. And now that the day had finally arrived she couldn't help but radiate with the anticipation she felt. 

She felt like she was walking on clouds and nothing could bring her down to Earth. That thought alone made her cry harder. 

That morning, her mother had given her a very heartwarming speech, telling her that it was normal to be nervous. Only she didn't feel even a single twinge of fear in her gut. Today of all days she was completely without the metaphorical butterflies.

In just minutes she would be Mrs. Sonya Phillips. 

This only served to make her mother cry harder. Her little girl was finally going to be on her own. Even though she hadn't lived in her house for years, she could always count on the fact that she'd need her. Now she had someone else she'd need more.

"Mom, I'll always need you," Sonya whispered against her mother's hair. It wasn't until then that the proverbial dam broke. And both of them found themselves crying in her living room. 

"I guess it's a good thing we haven't applied our makeup yet," she sniffled. This only made her mom laugh too. 

Sonya shook her head and laughed even harder. Today was a day for all lovers to enjoy. Valentine's Day. Her friends had all made fun of them for how sappy they were. How much more cliché could they be? But even through the laughter and innocent ribbing, they knew it was the right day for them. And so they set the date and waited patiently for it to come.

The day Sean proposed to her flashed in her head. They had been dating for almost a year. He had decided to come over unexpectedly, which wasn't really that unexpected since he did it every day. 

When the door opened, the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen greeted her. A six foot three inch Adonis, with sapphire eyes and auburn hair looked down at her like she was his next meal.

"So..." she paused trying her best to ignore his lust filled gaze. "How was work?"

"Good," he smiled at her. She had turned away from him, but he knew that she would still be sneaking glances at him. "What are you doing?"

"Popcorn."

There was a brief pause before he said, "Ice cream."

Her head popped up, "What?"

"Soup?"

"Sean. Are you okay?" she laughed.

"You just said one word. I thought it was a new trend you were starting. You know like Pictionary. Minus the pictures," he added.

"You mean Charades?"

"Whatever babe. Semantics. It's all semantics."

"No. It's what the game is called," she laughed shaking her head at him.

****

The movie had become a distant noise to Sean as he leaned in to nip at her earlobe. She loved it when he did that. His lips trailed slowly down her jaw, stopping every few seconds to place a small nip along the way. 

A soft moan escaped her mouth, and she felt his lips turn up into a smile. His hands moved slowly over her body, eliciting more moans and the occasional gasp. A few minutes of this had them both on edge. Her body was a bundle of nerves and she wanted nothing more than for him to touch her. 

Anywhere.

She didn't care where, just as long as he put her out of her misery.

Sean was well aware of the effect he had on her. He reveled in every sound she made. The way she moved the lower half of here body against him was pure agony. And yet he never wanted her to stop. 

His lips once again touched her neck; trailing light kisses along the way. Once he got to her earlobe, he paused. A soft whimper echoed in his ear as he said the first thing that came to mind.

Backing away from him, Sonya blinked several times. The look on her face was that of confusion and shock.

"What?"

His blue eyes pierced her brown ones as he grabbed her hand and leaned forward. "I said marry me, Sonny."

He was the only one she let get away with calling her that. Everyone else knew better. And yet whenever he said it she couldn't help but melt into him.

"What?" she repeated.

A nervous laugh grated at his throat as he tried to gauge her reaction. Was she happy he had asked her? Was it too soon?

Sean ignored his inner Q&A as he pressed his forehead to hers. "I'd never want to live without you. You're the light to my darkness."

At that Sonya couldn't help but smile. He had always said that when he was feeling life was taking a toll on him. She was the only one he ever said it to. No one else said it to her but him. And so without missing a beat she whispered, "Brighter than the Sun?"

A relieved sigh escaped his lips as he smiled at her. "Brighter than the Sun," he murmured as his lips met hers in a soul-shattering kiss.

****

Jolted back to reality, she looked up at the face staring at her. It wasn't the face she had wanted. Instead it was her mother, wearing a frown that she'd tried desperately to erase. But what did one say on a day like this. 

When the door had opened earlier, she had smiled and looked up, more than ready to start her new life. But her smile quickly faded as she looked into her mother's eyes. The honey colored orbs broke her heart and a tear cascaded down her check as she opened her mouth to speak.

"I'm so sorry honey."

Sonya's heart stopped as she sat there slowly being pushed down by a haze of confusion. What did her mother have to be sorry about? Today was supposed to be a happy day. She was getting married to the love of her life.

"What do you mean sorry? Where's Sean? Is he running late?"

Each question was asked quickly behind the other, not giving her mother time to answer. Instead the look on her face told her what she needed to know. Sean wasn't coming. Quickly pushing that thought out of her head she smiled at her mother and then started walking towards the door.

"I told him not to do this. He promised he wouldn't try to prank me on today of all days," Sonya laughed.

Before she could make it to the door, a hand grabbed her arm, willing her to stop walking. Her eyes glanced down and then back up at into those same eyes she had seen when her mother walked in. And what she saw broke her heart. 

"Sonny—," she choked out before her lip started to quiver.

"Mom? You never call me—what's going on?"

"There was an accident," she choked out. "He didn't make it."

These words were spoken with such sadness and even though she heard them she couldn't bring herself to believe them. Through tear filled eyes she watched as her mother walked towards her and pulled her into a tight embrace. She whispered that she would go tell the guest that the wedding wouldn't be taking place and come back to check on her.

Looking with a blank expression on her face, Sonya jerked her arm out of her mother's grasp and moved towards the door again. Once she walked into the main room where their guests were she heard the music begin to play and then suddenly stop as she turned and pushed open the doors to the outside of the building.

She made it to the bottom of the stairs before she burst into soul wrenching sobs. She had hoped that it was just her nerves getting the best of her. But when she emerged from the dressing room to find him not standing there she knew it was true. 

He would never leave her there alone on purpose. And so she wept. Just like the sky, she wept for a love lost and a heart that would be forever broken.

The next few minutes were a blur as several of their closest friends smiled sadly at her and wished her well. Their faces showed signs of pity, which angered her. She didn't want their pity. She wanted Sean. She wanted to see his tanned skin against her mocha flesh. 

She wanted to look into his vibrant blue eyes and tell him she loved him. But what she wanted much more than that was to hear him say her name and how he was right there. How it was all a big mistake. 

When none of those things happened she became quiet. Not even a tear fell from her eyes. Instead she just quietly mourned the love of her life. Something she was sure she'd never find again.

*****************

One Year Later

"Sonny, come on!"

"You know I really hate it when you call me that," she groaned as she rolled over pulling the covers back over her body.

"Oh you know you love it."

Again the blanket she was laying under was pulled down to expose the blue and black pajamas she wore. The cold air automatically hit her body sending chills down her spine. Grasping aimlessly at the air around her she was forced to open her eyes and confront the bane of her existence. Her best friend Cameron Cruz. Or to those who knew her best...CeeCee. 

Her red hair looked like a blaze of fire as the sun hit it. And her blue eyes were smiling down at Sonya as she watched her try to stay mad. But like all the other times it was an impossible feat. Groaning again she watched as Cameron catapulted herself onto the bed next to her.

"Fine. If you won't get up then I'll just join you."

"CeeCee...I'm not going."

"Of course you're going. You've cancelled the last three times. And last night you promised that...and I quote, 'Wild horses couldn't keep me away.' End quote."

"I'm not ready yet CeeCee. Please don't make me go."

Cameron watched as her friends eyes filled with tears and one by one slid down her mocha cheeks. It always broke her heart when she cried, because she knew what caused the tears. And it was something that she couldn't fix which broke her heart.

"Sonya. It's been a year. You can't keep doing this. He would want you to be happy."

"How do you know what he would want," she asked spitting venom at her with each word.

"Because...he was my brother. And you're like a sister to me. I miss him too. Not in the same way you do. But it doesn't hurt any less. I can't watch you wither away before my eyes. I won't let you," tears flowed down her face as she finished speaking.

Wiping a tear from her cheek, Sonya looked up at her best friend and nodded her head. "Okay. I'll get dressed. But I can't promise you anything."

An hour passed before they were both ready to go out. It had been a long time since she had gone anywhere that wasn't school. After Sean died it was the only thing that took her mind off of him. And so for the past year she had worked furiously to improve her grades. Working almost nonstop until she was so tired that the only option was sleep.

But tonight she was dressed in a red halter-top and blue jeans. She wanted to look nice but not too nice that it would give guys the impression that she wanted them to actually speak to her. To complete the ensemble she wore very nice but conservative shoes. 

It didn't matter that Cameron had looked at them for ten minutes before she actually allowed her to put them on. They were the only shoes she was going to wear out that night. 

Half an hour later they arrived at the party. It was a house party that was being hosted by one of Cameron's coworkers. He was loaded and always seemed to have parties like these as if they were nothing. There were already cars lining the street in every direction making it impossible to park close. 

Sonya smiled to herself as she heard the curses coming from her friend's mouth. Bet she wishes she'd worn comfortable shoes now she thought. The sound of music blared in their ears as they opened the door and walked in. It almost appeared to be like a college frat party only slightly more sophisticated it that was possible. 

There were still people lined along walls talking. But they weren't making out or half naked. Each individual was dressed nicely and not too sexy. Cameron looked down and wished that she had gone in the same direction that Sonya had. 

"Come on Sonny. I want you to meet my friend from work."

"CeeCee...I don't think this was a good --"

Stopping her Cameron leaned in and whispered, "Before you finish that sentence just hear me out. We'll stay for half an hour and if you don't like it then I will take you back home. Deal?"

Looking at her cautiously, Sonya took her hand and shook it firmly, "Deal." 

Cameron pulled Sonya after her as they made their way through a maze of bodies. After the fourth excuse me, Cameron was beginning to get agitated. By the time they finally escaped the maze of people they were standing in a less crowded part of the room. It wasn't until then that Sonya actually allowed herself to notice her surroundings. 

The house wasn't as fancy as she thought it would be. It had a very homey feel to it without being too plain and unoriginal. The furniture was definitely picked out by a man, she thought as she smiled to herself. Leather was spread out amongst the room. Yes, a man definitely picked out this furniture.

Her eyes searched the room lazily as she slipped through a sea of people. Each one smiling and carrying on a conversation with the kind of vigor she hadn't seen in a long time. Of course, she didn't really pay attention to what people did anymore. She was a living breathing robot and the only thing that she had time for was her studies. Studies which her lovable roommate was taking away from.

Laughter caught her by surprise as her head jerked towards the sound. It was deep and gravely. And it was stirring a feeling in her that she hadn't had in a year. Without thinking anymore she moved towards the sound. Her feet moved slowly with hesitation while her heart screamed for her to run towards the sound. It was something she hadn't felt in a while. This anticipation to see someone, and yet here she was drawn to a person simply by the sound of his laughter. 

And then without notice the laughing stopped.

It took her several seconds to realize that she had stopped as well, and was holding her breath in the process. Her eyes moved from left to right hoping to catch a glance of whoever the laugh belonged to. When it seemed like she had been hearing things she turned around and there it was again. Not as loud as before but it was definitely there. 

Her eyes again did a quick sweep and then stopped on the back of a rather tall man. He looked to be about six foot four, with curly auburn colored hair. 

"Turn around," she whispered to herself.

And right on cue as if he had heard her silent plea, she watched as her mystery man turned his head slightly to the right. 

"You okay," she heard the woman he was talking to ask.

Lingering there for a second before turning to meet her gaze, he simply smiled and said, "Yes."

"There you are!"

"Holy shit!" she gasped as she turned to look at the owner of the voice behind her. "Don't do that CeCe!"

"My bad Sonny, I didn't realize you were off in your own little world," she laughed.

"Thought I told you to stop calling me that," she whispered not looking at her friend. Her mind was still on the man she had been staring at. What was it about him that made her drawn to that laugh? It was mesmerizing. And just like that the frown she had let slip was back with a vengeance. She shouldn't be thinking things like that. It had only been a year. 

"Sonya? You okay?"

The concern in her friend's voice was very evident as she watched the wheels in Sonya's head turn. But like any other time she kept her mouth firmly shut. It had taken a lot for her to come out with her. She didn't want to spoil it by bringing up something that could very well be nothing at all. Instead she gave her the best smile she had and wrapped an arm around her.

"Well, it's been thirty minutes. Are you ready to blow this Popsicle stand?"

"Where do you come up with this stuff," Sonya asked while shaking her head.

"TV of course," she smiled.

"In that case, yes. I'm past ready to blow this Popsicle stand."

Frowning down at her CeCe shook her head and simply said, "It sounds like you're talking about porn the way you say it. So I recommend you don't say it anymore."

"Only you would reference my statement to porn. And you wonder why I never go out with you."

"I already know why you don't go out with me. Because not everyone can handle this much awesomeness at one time," she finished not allowing Sonya to answer her.

"It's a burden I must bear, but someone's got to, right?"

"Of course," she laughed, as she turned her head back to where her mystery laugher had been.

"Sonny? What you looking at?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. Just thought I saw something, but I guess not. We should go."

Weaving her arm around her she smiled and then walked her towards the exit. The thoughts in Sonya's head going rampant with both excitement and confusion.

*************

Two days had passed before she finally was able to let go of the weird feeling that had gripped at her subconscious. And now she was back to being the same sulky, depressed Sonya she had been the past year. 

After the party, CeCe had come to invite her out again, but unlike last time she stood her ground and told her she had a paper to finish. There was a no nonsense tone in her voice that told anyone listening that she wouldn't be swayed this time. And so shaking her head, CeCe walked out of her bedroom and dialed the only number she could think of.

"Please forgive me for this," she whispered before pressing the call button. 

*************

The sound of a knocking interrupted her train of thought. Glancing down at her watch she saw that it was now three twenty in the afternoon. She had been working nonstop for six hours. The knock grew louder as she tried to figure out who would be coming over. CeCe was out so it couldn't be for her. Standing up she stretched, listening to the cracking of some bones. 

"Hold your horses," she yelled as the person on the other end of the door began pounding. "What!" she yelled, only to look in the face of the last person she wanted to see.

"Hi Sonya."

"Mom?"

Standing at the door was Theresa Matthews. Her mocha skin was a contrast to that of her daughter. It was the one thing that most people seemed to point out when they introduced themselves. But no one could deny that they were exactly alike in attitude. And she knew that if her daughter was hell bent on being miserable, there was nothing anyone could do about it.


Breathing Ch. 01



"Heard you weren't doing so well," she spoke as she walked past her daughter.

"And where would you have heard that?" she asked crossing her arms.

"No need to get defensive Sonya."

"I'm not defensive," she snapped.

A snort left her mother's mouth. "I can see that."

"Mom, what are you doing here?"

"Cameron called me. And before you get angry at her just know that she told me and I quote, 'You're my last hope.' End quote."

"You know how Cam is. She exaggerates all the time. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. You look like a shell of yourself Sonny."

Throwing her hands up, she turned towards the kitchen, "Why does everyone insist on calling me that? No one calls me that."

"One person calls you that."

"Correction Mom. One person used to call me that. Used to."

"Baby, I know how much it hurts. I've been where you are. Have you forgotten that? I was with your father for fifteen years and then he was just gone."

"Mom, it's not the same. Dad left you. Se—he was torn from me. Taken on the one day that was supposed to be ours!"

Taking a step closer, she wrapped her arms around her. "You're going to have to find some kind of peace."

"Peace? You want me to find peace in the fact that the one person I—the one person who was everything to me was just ripped out of my life."

"He wouldn't want you to be this way. He'd want you to remember the good times. He'd want you—"

"How do you know what he'd want? If that's the case, he'd want to be alive. He'd want to watch me eat popcorn and then try to scare me into spilling it. Shit, he'd even want me to hog all the covers from him."

"Sonya—"

"But we don't know what he wants do we mother," she said coldly. "So you and CeCe can stop trying to rush me towards forgetting him and let me be. Let me have what's left of him. Don't make me forget him. Not yet," she whispered as a tear fell down her cheek. "Not yet."

"Okay. Not yet," her mom whispered as she held her only daughter to her chest and waited for the sobs to stop. This was going to be even harder than she thought.



Breathing Ch. 02



I just wanted to say thank you for all of your comments. Even the one telling me how confusing my pronouns are. This chapter my strike a few chords in people. Just remember that it will eventually get better for her. I hope you enjoy. 

-theonlinestalker

****

It had been two days, twelve hours and thirty-two minutes since Sonya had talked to her mom. And it had taken all of her strength not to reach for the picture she had hidden in the drawer beside her bed. It was of the last day she had seen Sean. He had been down at her while she smiled at the person taking the picture. It had been some random stranger passing by and just like Sean he had asked him to take a picture of them. 

The look on his face reminded her of how much he had loved her, and how their lives were starting the next day. She'd never have to worry about anything. Yet here she was with her hand touching the handle to her bedside nightstand. Her hand shaking as she tried with all she had to stop from pulling it open. 

She had to remember the promise she had made to her mother. She was going to try moving on. What that meant she had no idea. She had been moving on since that day. She had gone back to school and was now about to graduate in less than a month. Her life hadn't just sat still. Every day it pushed forward, leaving behind a piece of him as it did.

Which on some level pissed her off, but she was still standing and that was something no one seemed to take into consideration. She had wanted so badly to crumble and self-destruct but that was never an option.

And so she forged on. 

The sound of her phone caused her to blink her eyes rapidly as she noticed she was still staring at the drawer that held her picture. Her gaze diverted to the phone vibrating silently above her. 

CeCe.

"Ignore," she whispered as she let it go to voicemail. 

It was the fourth time that morning that her screen had lit up with that name and each time she had ignored it allowing it to go to voicemail. Seconds later a sharp chirp signaled that yet another message had been left. In the past two days she had received numerous messages from her and even though they lived together, Sonya made it her mission to not be at home when that traitor was there.

And although she knew the word traitor was kind of harsh it was the only way to describe the feeling she got when she thought of her. If there was one thing a person should never do, especially a friend, was involve ones mother. 

"This is a waste of time," she whispered to herself. "Stop moping and get your ass up."

Her legs swung wildly off her bed as she touched one and then the other foot to her cold concrete floor. Why had she agreed to get an apartment with concrete floors? And why didn't she have an area rug in her room?

Sonya quickly slipped on her house shoes as she let out a loud yawn and stretched her arms above her head. A quick shower and some warm coffee should do it. The thought made her smile a little. The first time she had said those words Sean had laughed and said, "You mean hot coffee right?"

"No. Warm coffee—I know what I said," she had snipped.

"Isn't that kind of gross," he frowned.

"No. Besides how do people drink that scalding crap? No matter how much you blow on it the first sip always kills every taste bud on the tip of your tongue. Well no thank you. I love my taste buds too much for that."

A smile was the only response she got as he turned away from her and mumbled something she hadn't quite heard. "Say what?"

Sonya's breath caught in her throat as she watched him turn his head to look over his shoulder. Those green gems he called eyes always caught her by surprise. And that smile didn't make it any better.

"I said, 'Whatever you say Sonny.'"

And that had been the first time he'd ever called her by that nickname. It had stuck ever since and shortly after that everyone tried to use it. But Sean was the only person who ever got the pleasure of calling her by it, without getting a severe tongue lashing.

Even that had her smiling. Tongue lashing. 

"You got something I wanna lash with my tongue," Sonya laughed as she stopped at her bathroom door.

Had she just said that out loud? No. She couldn't go backwards. She had to get those thoughts from her head. She needed them exorcised from her subconscious. 

And so as she stepped into the bathroom she looked at her surroundings. At least nothing of significance had ever happened in this room. Slowly she slid the oversized black tee over her head letting it drop to the floor beside her feet revealing a pair of blue and white polka dot underwear. She always wore boy shorts. Sean had loved the way they made her ass look. And wearing anything else just didn't feel right anymore.

Leaning forward she turned the hot water on and let it run before adjusting the cold water in to get the right temperature. "Perfect."

She slowly shimmied out of her underwear kicking them over towards the hamper while pushing the shirt in the same direction. She'd pick them up after her shower when she was more refreshed. For now she'd just wash away all those memories. 

The water hit her shoulder as she stepped in, closing the glass door behind her. Steam had already filled the room causing the glass surface to fog up. Her hand reached for the Raspberry body wash she always used, popping open the top to squeeze a small amount on her sponge. 

As she swiped the soft material down her stomach, she closed her eyes and let the hot water wash over her body. The scent of raspberries wafted towards her nose and she tilted her head back to run the sponge up towards her neck.

It was then that she felt strong hands moving around to rub her stomach. A soft gasp escaped her lips and she would have opened her eyes had it not been for the raspy voice whispering for her to keep them closed. With the slight nod of understanding she held her breath as she felt calloused fingers lightly tracing a pattern around her belly button.

Hot air flowed over her neck as she felt shallow breathing caress her there. "Tilt your head."

It was definitely not a request as she felt one hand moving her hair to the side while gently applying pressure. The hand on her stomach had stopped making circles and was now moving painfully slow towards her aching center. Every fiber of her wanted to scream for him to speed up. To put her out of her misery, and still he did not.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you looked today, Sonny?"

Again no words escaped her lips as she mutely nodded her head again. "And how did I tell you? Like this?" he whispered as he lightly kissed her neck. "Or like this?" he rasped as his fingers finally found what he had been searching for, moving his thumb over her clit slowly.

"God," she whispered.

"Yes?" he laughed.

A soft snort left her as she thought of how only he could make a joke at a time like this. And then as quickly as the touching and caressing had begun it all just stopped.

"Sean?"

Silence was what greeted her this time. And when she opened her eyes she realized that she was very much alone. And the once hot water was now getting cold. Just like her heart.

"So much for escaping memories."

And just like that she heard his voice again. "Those little bastards do have a way of ruining a good thing."

Closing her eyes once more she let the cold water wash over her, mixing with the tears that now streamed down her face. "Yeah. They really do."

*****

It had taken her awhile before she had composed herself enough to get out of the shower. The sting of cold water pelting against her skin was one reason. The other reason was that the longer she stayed in the shower, the more she thought she heard Sean. It was quickly driving her crazy. And so she stepped out on the bathmat and grabbed the towel hanging above the hamper. 

Normally she would have toweled off in the bathroom, but she couldn't bear to stay in there a second longer. They had never even made love in her bathroom and yet there he was. Naked, wet, and soapy. Telling her things she wanted to hear from him. Needed with all of her soul to hear him whisper in her ear, and all she could think was how unfair life could be.

Opening her door, she frowned. Sitting on her bed was Cameron. Her face was looking down towards the ground, but quickly looked up at the sound of the door opening. The remorse on her face was evident and for a second Sonya felt bad about giving her the silent treatment.

"Sorry."

The words were spoken so softly that she almost missed them. Well sorry wasn't good enough right now. Especially if she wasn't going to say it like she meant it. When no one said anything, Sonya rolled her eyes and walked towards her closet.

"I said, 'I'm sorry Sonya!'"

"I heard you."

"That's it," she huffed. "You're still mad at me?"

"Yes."

"Yes that's it or yes, you're still mad at me?" she asked wishing for the first one.

Milk chocolate colored eyes met sea green as she simply said, "Both."

"You can't stay mad at me forever Sonny."

"I can if you keep calling me that."

"I've always called you Sonny."

"No. HE always called me Sonny. And if you want me to move on so badly, I'd advise you to stop calling me by it," she yelled.

"I—I'm sorry," she said, actually meaning it this time. "I didn't realize—I'm sorry," she whispered again.

Turning around to face her friend she looked at her for the first time in a long time. Her face was nothing like Sean's. Nothing about her was like Sean and yet when she looked at her all she saw was his face. She was missing him just like her. Maybe it was time to give her a break. 

"I know. Just—no more Sonny okay? Sonny died a year ago."

Taking a step forward, Cameron wrapped her arms around Sonya. Letting her hands move soothingly up and down her back. "No she didn't. She's very much alive if you just let her up to breathe."

It was then that she tried to will away the tears. To stop them from falling down her cheeks.

"Maybe she should be."

"What?"

"Nothing," she answered while trying to force a smile. 

"You know what you need?"

"A drink," Sonya said.

"That too. But I was thinking to go out. Get something to eat. And before you say no, I don't mean anything fancy. Just downtown, somewhere off the beaten path."

"I don't know CeCe."

"Hurry and get dressed. Trust me on this. You'll feel a thousand times better," she smiled. And then she was gone closing the door behind her.

*************

The sun beamed down on them both as they made their way through the crowded sidewalks. Walking downtown during lunch had seemed like a good idea to Cameron at the time. Now in hindsight she probably should have waited until everyone had gone back to their stuffy offices. 

Too late for that now she thought as she grabbed her best friends hand and tried with all her might to get just one smile from her. So far she had failed miserably. 

"Ooh, look. Sushi!"

"CeCe, you know I don't eat Sushi. How about—" she paused looking around to gauge her surroundings. It was then that she heard it. Her head snapped towards the sound as it faded to nothing. For a second she thought she was hearing things until it echoed all around her again. This time it was louder than it had been before. It was definitely the laugh from the party she'd been dragged to.

"There goes that laugh again," Sonya murmured.

"What laugh?" CeCe asked as she looked around. "No one's laughing Sonya."

"You can't hear that?" Sonya pointed as if she were pointing in the direction of the laughter she spoke of. 

Cameron's head turned slightly to the left as she looked in the direction her friend was pointing. "No," she frowned. 

"I'll be back."

"Sonny?"

"I'll be back, promise." And then as if she hadn't said anything she walked towards the sound of laughter that somehow made her stomach flutter with tiny butterflies. Its baritone sound echoing off the walls and slamming directly into her heart. How could she not hear this? It was so familiar and yet so different at the same time. 

And then just like the week before it simply stopped. "What the hell," Sonya huffed. 

This was becoming frustrating to say the least. Minutes passed and then what felt like five more minutes turned into ten, and nothing was happening. Not a single echo of laughter.

"I must be going crazy," Sonya said to no one in particular as she turned to make her way back towards CeCe, but instead collided with a wall.

"Ouch!"

The sensation of someone stepping on her toe combined with the force of their impact made her scream out. "Watch where you're—going," she finished in a slight whisper.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. I was trying to escape and you got caught in the crossfire," he laughed. But Sonya hadn't heard a word that he had said. Instead she simply stared up at him in awe. This was the laugh she had heard earlier and obviously the man she had seen the week before. Although she hadn't seen his entire face there was no mistaking that laugh.

And so she simply stared at him as if he was the most amazing sight to behold. This was apparently obvious because the man before her gave a shy smile before turning his head away.

"I'm sorry for staring. You just remind me of someone I—someone I knew once," Sonya finished, not being able to say the word love. 

Standing before her was a man who greatly resembled her Sean. Yet she could tell it wasn't him. There was no fire in his eyes when they met with hers. No poorly hidden lust that always made her smile. Instead there was only the apologetic gaze of a stranger helping the woman he'd accidentally injured while trying to escape someone's company.

But by the look in his eyes, she could tell that whomever it was had quickly found him. 

"Trent, there you are. I was looking everywhere for you. You just disappeared on me."

"Oh, yeah. I was going to get us a drink."

Turning her unnaturally sky blue eyes towards Sonya, the blonde gave the best smile she could muster before asking, "Aren't you going to introduce your friend?"

"What? Oh! I've only just run into her—"

"Literally," Sonya finished for him. "But thank you for making sure I didn't lose a limb from your clumsiness.

"No problem," he whispered and for a second she could almost hear a hint of something familiar. Something she hadn't heard in a year. 

"Well I better get back to my friend, before she sends out a search party. It was nice meeting the both of you," and with that she walked away feeling as if she'd woken up for the first time in a year.

*************

Trenton Sinclair looked on in dread as his girlfriend walked towards him. Her strawberry blonde hair gleamed in the sunlight as she bounced towards him at a rapid pace. She was really a very beautiful girl but in the past month he had found that he was growing tired of her company. Nothing she said anymore was of any interest to him.

Her body was that of a supermodel and he knew that she was every heterosexual man's dream. Except that she wasn't his dream anymore. She had become just an object to dangle on his arm when it suited him. Of course she was okay with that. He was exactly the same thing for her. 

His cobalt eyes always made a woman's heart melt. It didn't hurt that he looked like the equivalent of a Greek god. He had a square jaw lined with a soft dusting of stubble that showed off his chiseled facial features. His mouth was a cute cupids bow and absolutely kissable with their pink hue. He could have anyone he wanted and yet the woman who he should want only made his skin crawl.

When she stopped in front of him she eyed the woman standing in front of her and leaned in to kiss him on the lips. The enormous glasses that she always wore whenever they went out sat securely on top of her head. If there were any celebrity that she looked like he would have to say it was Paris Hilton.

The thought made him frown as he watched her frown at the woman in front of him, quietly dismissing her as competition. But all he could do was look at her eyes. There was something about her that he couldn't quite place. It was taking everything in him to keep his hands planted firmly at his side. And to make matters worse he couldn't keep the silly smile off of his face for long. It was actually a good thing Amanda had walked up. Having her there tainted the moment and the frown he presently wore didn't take much effort.

"Well I better get back to my friend," he heard her say. And as she walked away from him, he felt his world get a little bit dimmer. 

****

"Who was your friend?"

"Huh?" Sonya asked looking up at CeCe dumbfounded.

"The cutie you were practically drooling over," she laughed, nodding in his general direction.

"I was not drooling!"

Holding up her hands in surrender Cameron smiled, "Okay. Just don't kill me."

"Sorry. Just. Sorry," she frowned turning her head to look back at the mystery man. Trent.

And just like that, the guilt was back. She had compared him to Sean. Had seen his face when she looked at him. Would it be this way from now on? Now that she had been forced to remember him and try to get past his death.

"I want to leave," Sonya rushed out.

"We just got here."

"Now! I need to leave now!"

Her breath was ragged as she tried her best not to hyperventilate. This was becoming too much. It had only been almost three days and she wasn't sure she could do this. Even after she had told her mother not to rush her towards forgetting him, she found that she wanted to more than ever. The memories were becoming too much. And now they were manifesting themselves as if they were real.

Cameron could see the sheer panic on her friend's face and nodded her head slightly before grabbing her by the hand. With one final glance behind her, Sonya saw Trent staring at her over his girlfriend's head. The look in his eyes made her blood run cold. All she could see was the pale imitation of Sean and all of the promises that he never got to keep.

*****

Outside the sun slowly drifted towards the horizon. After coming home she had spent almost an hour convincing Cameron that she was okay. Her friend was adamant that she didn't need to go on her date. She could simply stay home with her and they'd have a girl's night. But there was something much more important that she had to do. And Sonya didn't want her to be there while she did it.

She had even expressed this sentiment to Cameron but that didn't stop her from trying to convince her that she wouldn't be in the way.

"What's this big thing you have to do?"

"Don't worry about it Cammy," she smiled.

"Does it have anything to do with the man from earlier?" she asked, noticing that Sonya had called her Cammy. She never called her that. But she quickly pushed the thought to the back of her mind.

The mention of Trent made Sonya's smile falter. She didn't even know him and yet she had come to call him by his first name. Trent. Although it was his name, she felt that she didn't deserve to call him that. Not when she had tainted both him and Sean by mixing them in together.

"No Cam. It has nothing to do with Trent."

At the mention of his name Cameron's eyebrow lifted. "Trent? You got his name?"

"No. I mean yes—I mean...his girlfriend came up yelling it. He didn't tell me it," Sonya frowned.

"Oh. Well, then what is it about?"

"I just want to say goodbye. To Sean," she whispered.

"Oh! Sonny," Cameron whispered. 

"Please, don't call me that."

The defeat in her voice was evident as she looked down at her hands. 

"Yes. I forgot. Um. Well, I'll be gone for a few hours. But if you need me you call me okay. No matter what time. Promise me."

"I promise. But after tonight I won't need you to hold me up anymore," she whispered and then looked up at her best friend with a half-smile and the hint of tears in her eyes.




Breathing Ch. 02



"Sonya—"

"Go on Cammy. I'll be fine."

"Okay. My cell is on." Walking to the door she paused with her hand on the door knob, something wasn't right, she could feel it. But there was nothing she could do at the moment other than give her space. "I love you Sonya. You know that right?"

"I love you too," she smiled. This one actually reaching her eyes.

With a quick nod of the head, Cameron turned and walked out the door, closing it quietly behind her. Leaving behind a very distraught Sonya.

*****

Two blocks from where he had seen the lady with milk chocolate skin and mahogany eyes, Trent Sinclair wandered down the sidewalk. He had caught a glimpse of her leaving with a friend, but he had been forced to stay by his soon to be ex-girlfriend's side. Now he walked around the general location hoping to catch a glimpse of her.

There had been something vaguely familiar about her and yet he couldn't quite put his finger on it. But one thing he knew for sure was that she was someone he wanted to get to know better. She had made him smile more in the five minutes they had talked than he had ever smiled in his life. That alone was a reason to find her. Maybe he'd even ask her on a date.

"Fuck dude watch where you're going," a woman screamed at him.

Looking down on the ground he frowned and then smiled. "It's you."

"What? Do you normally use that as a line? Because if so I'd advise you to stop. Knocking women over first also not the best way to go."

"Oh shit," he almost yelled. "I don't know what's up with me today. First I knock over your friend earlier and then you. What are the odds of that," he laughed.

It was then that she heard the same thing that Sonya had heard. That familiar laughter that made her heart stop for a brief second.

"Trent?"

"Yes?" he asked back.

"You're the guy my friend was talking to earlier? About this high, black hair, really really pretty eyes and smile?"

Again that laugh echoed in her ear as he nodded his head, "Yes. I think so."

"Come with me," she yelled as she grabbed his hand and raced back towards her apartment.

*****

The water had finally finished running in the bathtub. Candles were lit around the room, flickering lightly as the overhead fan circulated. The noise was soothing as it swooshed above her. Raspberry scented bubbles floated on top of the water as she looked around her. He had always loved the smell of raspberry on her skin.

A sad smile crossed Sonya's face as she finally decided to stop procrastinating. Taking one step in and then another, she slowly eased herself into the tub. He never could take a bath with her. She had always loved to have her water to the point it could probably boil the skin off. To which he had always joked, "You love warm coffee but want to cook me alive in the porcelain tub of death?"

A small chuckle escaped Sonya's mouth before she reminded herself she wasn't supposed to be happy. She had allowed herself to be fooled by memories earlier. Now was not a time to let memories trick her again. 

Grabbing for the remote on the floor, she hit the play button and let the sound of one of her favorite bands waft over her.

Love of mine Someday you will die But I'll be close behind I'll follow you into the dark

Death Cab for Cutie had always been one of their favorite bands and this song seemed to fit the moment. Her eyes closed as she listened to the song. It was the embodiment of everything she was now. Sean had been all alone and for all she knew he still was. And in return he had left her surrounded by people, but all she could feel was an empty void.

As the second verse hit her, a tear drifted down her cheek. Flashes of green eyes hit her and all she could do was sob. The sounds wracking her body violently as she looked at the picture she had tapped to the wall in front of her. 

"I love you Sean. See you soon."

If Heaven and Hell decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark

The glint of the razor blade bounced off of the room's walls. A sharp intake of breath rang in her ears as she made the first slice up her arm, cutting through the artery. As she moved to place it in her other hand, she dropped the metal blade in the water below. 

Suddenly too tired to finish the job. 

"Sean," she whispered as she slipped into an unconscious state.

***** "Hey lady. What are we doing here?"

"My friend. Sonya. She was talking about you. I think you're just what she needs. Just trust me."

The door opened and the first thing that drifted through the apartment was music. And then the loud sound of a crash.

"Sonya?"

When there was no answer, Cameron walked towards the music. It was coming from the bathroom. Opening the door, she screamed at the sight in front of her. Laying in a pool of blood was Sonya, and toppled over was a candle that had started to catch the bathmat on fire. Running over and picking up the material she threw it into the shower beside the tub and turned on the water.

"Fuck! Help me get her out of the tub."

Looking up Cameron saw him kneeling beside the tub trying to lift Sonya up alone. She had almost forgotten about Trent. Grabbing Sonya's wrist in his hand he yelled at Cameron and pointed with his hand. But there was no sound coming from his mouth. It was almost like one of those movies you see where time slows down and everyone is frantic but no one can hear a word they are saying.

"—towel!"

"What?" Cameron asked snapping out of her daze.

"Get me a fucking towel!"

Grabbing the towel from the rack Cameron threw it at him, watching him wrap it around her best friend's wrist and apply pressure. She was still in the tub since he couldn't get Cameron to help him and he needed to apply pressure to the wound.

"911!"

"Yes," she cried as she ran from the room.

"Don't you fucking die on me, Sonya."

And then the most amazing thing happened. She opened her eyes into small slits and smiled. Whispering one thing before slipping back into an unconscious state.

"I knew you'd come for me, Sean." 



Breathing Ch. 03



Thank you guys for all of your wonderful comments. It means a lot to me that chapter 2 touched so many of you. This chapter is what happens after she is found. It's not quite as long but chapter 4 will be. I hope you enjoy it..and be sure to vote and comment.

-theonlinestalker

****

Fire coursed through her arm mixed with ice water. It was a sensation that she had never experienced before. There was this pain warring with relief and she wasn't sure which one would win. But for a brief second she wished that the fire consumed her. She deserved to feel the pain. And so as she squeezed her eyes shut tighter she willed the fire to ignite in her veins and burn through her soul until there was nothing left.

The gentle throbbing mingled along with it, beating to a silent rhythm in her head. Like a silken scarf wrapped in bongo drums and then coated with shards of glass. Each thump bitter sweet as it sounded with sweat rapture but not without the consequence. But what would one do to hear that low drone of music humming it its ear. No, the pain was worth it she thought to herself.

The sound of beeping could be heard faintly in the distance, but not so far away that it wasn't annoying her. It was very much annoying her. But again this was a small price to pay. Her finger twitched involuntarily as another chill ran through her arm. Though it tried, the ice water did nothing to quench the fires thirst. Instead it raged on, battling with the freezing temperature of the water, creating jagged bolts of pain.

Sonya tried to move her fingers, but the pain only intensified. The haze that clouded her mind was beginning to lift and with its evaporation the fire in her arm grew. A sluggish grunt was all she could manage before willing her eyes to pry open.

All her efforts failed as she heard the sound of a woman shushing her and felt a warm wash of liquid mixing with the ice water and fire. 

And then there was only darkness again.

****

Trenton tried for hours to sleep, but all he saw when he closed his eyes was her lying in a pool of her own blood. His heart had stopped beating when his eyes landed on her wrist. Try as she had, she hadn't finished and that was something to be thankful for. And yet when he saw her looking so helpless and pale, the only thing he wanted to do was save her.

Of course he would have wanted to save anyone had he been in the same situation. But he needed to save her. He hadn't even spoken to her for more than five minutes and the sight of her there in a white porcelain grave was too much for him. If she died—so would he.

It was an emotion he was not accustomed to experiencing. Not to say that he was a love them and leave them kind of guy. But love them he did not. He was more of a fuck them and leave them type. No strings. No emotions. No pain.

He was all about the part where there was no pain. And yet here he sat sitting beside the bed of a woman who had tried to end her life just hours ago. And the only thing on his mind was the fact that if she had succeeded he wouldn't have known what to do with himself. 

Trenton chuckled at the irony. He had spent twenty-nine years trying to avoid relationships because he didn't think his heart could take the pain. And within twenty-four hours he had met a woman who had nearly broken his heart into two and the all he knew about her was her name.

Sonya.

He had uttered it several times while trying to get her to remain conscious. It had been a hard task, but after five tries he managed to get her to look at him with glazed eyes. 

The words that slipped from her mouth had caught him by surprise, and then once again she had slipped back into her dark abyss.

As her friend had rushed back into the room screaming that the paramedics had been called, the only thing he could utter was, "Who's Sean?"

"What?"

"She just called me Sean," he whispered looking back down at her. "She said, 'I knew you'd come for me Sean.'" 

When his eyes met her friends he watched as she looked away and then sat down on the floor. "Hey—shit. What's your name?"

"Um—Cam—Cameron," she stammered as she tried to wrap her head around what she had been told. Sonya had done this to be with Sean. She had known there was something wrong. With her calling her Cammy, and the vague comment about wanting to say goodbye, it all started to make sense.

"Sean—was my brother. And her fiancé," Cameron finally murmured. Silence echoed throughout the room. It was much more deafening then the occasional gasp of breath that escaped Sonya or the tremors that began to rock her body. And then as she looked up into his cobalt blue eyes a tear escaped her eye.

"He died a year ago today."

The sound of a grunt pulled him from his thoughts as he glanced down at the woman before him. Her face was now marred with what he could only imagine to be pain. Even though they had bandaged her wrist, he had been warned that once she woke up there would be a considerable amount of pain.

Before he could say anything, a nurse appeared beside him with a syringe filled with what looked like more pain medicine. And within moments Sonya's face relaxed and she once again drifted back into unconsciousness.

The nurse turned a looked at him with sad eyes before throwing the syringe into the orange and black hazardous waste basket. That look said that she didn't envy him. Of course, why would anyone envy a man who was sitting beside the bed of a woman he didn't know, who had just tried to commit suicide?

"No one," he whispered to himself.

"Who are you?"

His eyes diverted towards the voice to find an older version of the woman lying in the hospital bed in front of him. Her skin wasn't the milk chocolate hue that he had come to admire, but instead a light caramel. Laugh lines were hidden around her eyes as she frowned down at him. Obviously mama bird was not happy to find a stranger sitting beside her baby.

"Who are you?" she repeated. 

Standing up slowly, he moved towards the door. He waited patiently for mama bird to follow him before he began talking. When they were standing outside of Sonya's door, he watched as she crossed her arms over her chest and waited for her answer.

"My name is Trenton Sinclair. I ran into your daughter earlier today and then I ran into her roommate later on tonight." 

Trent paused for a second before continuing his explanation. "Cameron grabbed my arm and pretty much dragged me to their place, saying how I could help. But when we got there your daughter—I'm assuming she's your daughter, right?"

A nod of the head was all he got. "We found her in a bathtub. She had slit one of her wrist. The doctor said she probably went into shock afterwards which prevented her from trying to slit the other one."

"So you're saying my daughter. My Sonya tried to kill herself."

His eyes glanced over to the woman lying there before he looked her mother in the eyes and quietly whispered, "Yes ma'am. I am."

"No. That can't be right."

"They placed the padded shackles on her in case she wakes up disoriented. They didn't know if she would try to harm herself again. I agreed to stay with her instead of having her wake up tied down and alone."

"There's got to be some mistake," she whispered. "My baby would never try to kill herself."

"Not to sound rude, but your baby just did," he whispered back.

Theresa's eyes diverted back to his. 

When she walked into the hospital room she had paused briefly. From where she stood it was almost as if Sean was sitting in the chair beside Sonya's bed. But when she had walked forward to get a better view she had noticed the differences. The similarities were visible but not so much that the two could be twins. And now as she stood in front of him, she couldn't help but see something no one else would notice right away. 

Love. 

It was pouring out of every pore. 

Her eyes glanced away from his face to see that he was staring at Sonya. "Are you sure you just met my daughter?"

"Yes," he answered not looking away.

"You remind me of someone."

"Sean?" he asked finally breaking his gaze away from Sonya.

A shocked expression covered her face as she took a step towards him, "You know Sean?"

"No. But Sonya called me by his name—before she passed out."

"Oh," she paused. "You look a bit like him. It's weird."

His eyebrows bunched together as he looked back at Sonya, "How much like him?"

"Enough to be related," she answered as she followed his gaze. "She won't see him once she wakes up. She'll see you."

"How do you know that? She already called me him once," he frowned.

Touching his face with one hand, Theresa watched as he looked down at her again. She could see that he was worried about being a source of her pain. That he was also worried that she would compare him to someone that was so important to her that she had thought of committing suicide and nearly succeeded. 

"You will never be Sean. It's time for her to get past her survivors guilt. And I can tell that you care very much for my daughter already," she whispered.

"I don't—" he began as the denial began to spill from his mouth, but stopped when he saw the look of disbelief he was being given. Sighing he closed his eyes. "I don't understand this. I just met her and I feel like she's got my heart in a vice. One squeeze and she could end me."

His eyes opened and the fresh tears that threatened to spill over danced in his eyes. Theresa's breath caught as she saw the pain he must be feeling, and then with a blink of the eye a single tear cascaded down his cheek. 

At just over 6 feet tall she couldn't imagine seeing someone his size reduced to tears. More than that, she didn't think she could take it. And so she took a step towards him and laid her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around his broad chest. 

She could feel his body relax as each rigid muscle flexed and then settled into a more comfortable position. His breath was ragged as he took a deep breath and cleared his throat. The arms around him only tightened on his body which caused another tear to stream down his face. 

"I don't know what it is about you young man, but I agree with Cameron. I think you can help her," she whispered. Lifting her head from his chest she smiled up at his tear stained face before wiping the moisture away. "And I think she was meant to help you too."

A shaky smile was all he could manage as his eyes fell back onto Sonya's sleeping form. What a long journey it was going to be.

****

Once again Sonya heard the beeping in her ear, and the pain had dwindled some but was very much there. Learning from past experience, she lay as still as she could. While she thought she deserved the pain she didn't want the nurses to see it on her face. If they did, one of them was more than likely to give her another sedative. 

Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes for the first time in what felt like forever. As she looked around she noticed that she was in a hospital room. From the beeping she had already guessed that, but seeing it made it feel real. The white walls were void of anything, not even a picture. And there was little light streaming through the off white venetian blinds. 

The soft sound of snoring made her turn her head slightly. The sight before her made her stop breathing momentarily, and then she closed her eyes. When she opened them again eyes as blue as the sea off of Fiji stared at her. 

"Hi." The deep baritone word echoed through the room, bouncing off the walls and back into her soul.

"Hi," she whispered not taking her eyes off of his.

"Sorry about the jewelry. Not what most women want, but—" he trailed off realizing what a poor joke he'd just made.

Looking at her wrists for the first time, she noticed the beige padded handcuffs circling them. "Am I in the mental ward?" 

"No. Regular portion of the hospital, but Cameron and I had to convince them that you weren't going to harm yourself again. The cuffs are part of their hospital policy for a situation like ours."

"Ours? I don't know you and you don't know me. Why are you here?" she snapped before trying her best to calm down.

Crystal blue eyes hardened and for a second she felt a pulse in her heart where there had been no life before. But as quickly as it happened she beat it back down and shoved it in its cage.

"I'm here because your friend forced me to come to your apartment and I found you lying in a pool of your own blood," he answered shakily and then with more conviction than he thought possible continued with his explanation. 

"I am here because yesterday when I saw you, I—I felt like I could talk to you for days and never care if the world was outside waiting for me. I am here—because you almost weren't and I wasn't sure I could take it if you weren't."

The silence that followed was confusing. It wasn't uncomfortable or awkward. Instead it just ebbed and grew stronger with each passing second before Sonya looked away. 

"Why?" he finally asked.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"No," he whispered. "I don't know you—remember?"

"And yet you're managing to piss me off. Is that a record for you?"

"Not at all Sonny," he smiled.

The frown on her face deepened as she began to move as if she was trying to sit up. A hiss of pain escaped her lips as she pulled her lips away from her teeth and snarled at him. "That's new," he whispered.

"Do. Not. Call. Me. That!" she hissed through clenched teeth.

"Why not? It fits you."

"Not if it comes from your lips it doesn't."

"Calm down or you'll pop a stitch and then we'll be here forever. I just wanted to make you mad," he admitted.

"You wanted to purposely make me angry? What kind of person does that?"

Holding his hand out as if she was supposed to shake it, he said, "Hi. I'm Trenton Sinclair and I piss people off on purpose."

Of course she couldn't grab his hand, and if she could he was sure she would have slapped him instead. After a second of holding her murderous glare, he smiled and dropped his hand. "I don't have a card that says that, but after today I think I'll get one."

"Why are you doing this? If you're trying to make me feel better then stop, please. It's not going to work."

"How do you know? You haven't tried. And I'm not going away."

At the last statement her glare melted into a mask of confusion. "What do you mean you're not going away?"

"Well they've put you under 72 hour surveillance and I was nice enough to volunteer to watch you."

"To watch me? Like a prisoner?"

"More or less...if you want to look at it that way."

"Well they can't do that. My mom is my next of kin and emergency contact. She—"

"Already okayed it with the doctor," he answered, effectively cutting her off.

"What?"

"Lovely woman or at least she was before she threatened me with bodily harm if anything happened to you. But what can you say right? Moms," he smiled.

"I'd rather stay in the hospital then."

Allowing his façade to break a little, Trent leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "If you stay here they will keep you locked down like a crazy person. You'll be nothing more to some of these nurses than a selfish woman who gets none of their sympathy. I'm trying to help you Sonya. No strings."

"And how am I supposed to know I can trust you?"

"Because I'll show you that you can. And if after a day with me you feel the same, I'll personally call your mom. Scouts honor," he smiled holding up three fingers.

"You were a scout?"

"No. But it sounds better than stranger's honor."

And for the first time since she had woken up, Trent watched as Sonya's lip twitched and a half smile emerged. And though it was only visible for a split second it was enough for him. Maybe he could penetrate her tough skin after all.

****

The car ride was quiet. Neither of them wanted to say anything that would ruin whatever peace they had going on between them. Trent had every intention of being the strong sensitive type when she woke up, but once she had opened her mouth that had been forgotten. And instead she received the abrasive side of him that many got to see. But what surprised him was that he had also joked around with her. He had made a huge effort to make her smile and if that meant she hated him right now for it, then so be it.

After he had called in the doctor to have her released and Sonya had gone through a series of questions the doctor had nodded to the nurse and then smiled down at her. "I hope I don't see you in here again, Miss Matthews."

"You won't," she smiled, which hadn't technically been a lie. First chance she got, she was ending it all. And the next person to see her would be the Medical Examiner.

Trent already knew that she was going to plan something. That was why he had already set everything up so that she'd never know a moment's peace. But he would. He'd know that she was alive and even if she hated him for it, it would be worth all the hate she spewed his way.

"We're here," he said breaking their silent thoughts.

"And where is—here," she whispered as his car drove up to a three story mansion. At least that's what it looked like to her. "You live here?"

"Yes."

"With whom?" she turned to him.

"With me," he frowned.

"Oh."

The white house was trimmed with black shudders that seemed to float off the structure. The lawn looked to have been freshly mowed and there were trees everywhere on the left of the property. A tire swing swayed in the wind as they drove past it. 

"Did you're wife leave you this house?"

"No wife. No girlfriend. No family," he stated with finality signaling that it was the end of their conversation as far as he went.

"No family," she whispered to herself.

The car came to a complete stop and before she could say or do anything Trent was out of the car. The trunk flew open as he leaned in and grabbed her one suitcase and then walked over to open her door.

"I'm not an—"

"Save it. I was trying to be polite. Don't ruin the moment."

And then as quickly as he had shut her down, he turned around and walked away from her. But not so far that she could get any ideas. 

"For someone who wants to be polite you're failing miserably," she huffed as she tried to keep up with him.

"And for someone who is being a pain in the ass on purpose I'd say I'm being quite polite," he countered.

Coming to a screeching halt, Sonya looked at his back with amazement. "I'm being a pain in your ass," she yelled.

"Pain in my ass. Thorn in my paw. Pick one,"

"How about you just show me to my room and leave me alone," she yelled as she stomped past him.

"My pleasure," he smiled.

The jingle of keys filled the tension between the two as Trent slowly opened the door and allowed her to go in before him. Most of the walls were bare of photos and as she looked around she noticed that she had been here before. This was the house party Cameron had taken her too.

"I've been here before," she whispered as she turned to take in her surroundings. And then all of a sudden she yelled, "Laugh."

"What?"

"Laugh. I need you to laugh for me," she rushed on in a panic.

"Um. Hahaha?"

Throwing her hands in the air Sonya pushed his chest and almost growled, "Laugh."

"You're serious?"

"Yes," and for the first time he could see a look of uncertainty in her gaze that he'd seen briefly at the hospital. Clearing his throat he thought of something that made him happy. A joke that a friend had told him once when they were at a bar. And he laughed.

The sound resonated in Sonya's ears and she felt that pulse she'd caged earlier clawing its way to the surface. Steel cage and all. This had been the laugh that she'd heard that made her heart want to speed up. It was then that she realized she couldn't be here. In all the time she had been with him she hadn't once thought of Sean.




Breathing Ch. 03



She had to get away from him. Now. "Where's my room? I should lie down."

"This way." 

The fact that she had him laugh was odd, but he was sure there was a reason. Something only her crazy logic would explain. And so he turned picking up her suitcase and walked towards the end of the hall. As they got further down the hallway Sonya began to notice more and more pictures. 

Her pace slowed down as she looked at each one. And then finally she turned her head as she saw one of him smiling. That smile and laugh would be her undoing and that wasn't going to happen. Not if she could help it. 

"Home sweet home," he smiled as he dramatically opened the door. As she stepped inside the room he waited for the realization to set in. 

"Is this your room?"

"It is?"

"So I'm sleeping in your room until I leave. Where will you sleep? Guest bedroom?"

"No...here," and then the countdown began.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

"The hell I am," Sonya yelled as she tried to charge past him.

Grabbing her arm, Trent leaned down and quietly spoke to her as if she were a spoiled child, "Sonny, you'll learn that there isn't much that makes me angry. But for some reason you've been added to the top of that list. I'm not to let you out of my sight for 72 hours. So anything you were planning you can cancel now."

And just like that Sonya knew that her stay with Trenton Sinclair would test her in more ways than one.



Breathing Ch. 04



I'm so happy that so many of you are loving this story. It's a different type of story than I normally write as some of you have noticed, but it's a story I feel I need to tell. With that I hope you enjoy this chapter. 

-theonlinestalker



The air vibrated around Sonya as she listened to his words. It was as if he had taken what oxygen she had left and was holding it ransom. Flashes of light danced before her eyes seconds before she opened her mouth. A thinly weaved tapestry of pictures flickered in her head as she felt herself shouting her response to his new found revelation. 

Echoes bounced through the caverns of her brain as she watched him with bated breath. And for a split second Sonya could almost hear her soul shatter all over again. Wasn't it her time to have a little peace too? Every second for the past year had been a battle simply trying to stay afloat. All she wanted now was to slowly sink; knowing that at the bottom wouldn't be the end, but a new beginning for her and Sean.

Sonya's chocolate eyes looked at the man before her, trying her best to determine what to do next. Did he really expect her to idly sit by and allow this to happen? To keep her here under lock and key as if she were some kind of prisoner and he was her warden. The agreement made between the two of them said nothing of staying in his room with him. Only that he would have to keep a close eye on her.

Nothing more was said about what that entailed. Sonya had been under the illusion that keeping a close eye on her simply meant keeping her away from sharp objects. What he had planned for her was above and beyond surveillance. 

The walls of her head pulsed to a silent beat, thumping against the dense bone there. Where in the world was that ringing coming from? Her eyes never moved from Trenton's face as she realized once again that the cause was the man standing in front of her. This realization only intensified the high pitched screech wreaking havoc inside her skull.

Inhaling a ragged breath, Sonya closed her eyes and began counting to five, opening them only to be greeted by cerulean orbs of light. The slight amusement etched on his face did nothing to calm her down, which she could tell Trenton was patiently waiting for her to do. But even he should know that would take a while. At least he had better think that, she mused. Because there was no way in hell she would be calm anytime soon.

Sonya inhaled a shaky breath, slowly blowing it out. Her outburst had extracted more energy from her than she had thought. And all it took was two words. Two words had been the catalyst setting this confrontation into motion.

Where will you sleep? Guest bedroom?

No...here.

Thinking of his words only fueled her anger towards him, and now what she really wanted to do was slap that look off his face and tell him where he could go. Straight to hell!

Instead, Sonya closed her eyes and took another deep breath, slowly releasing it. She really needed to calm down, but she couldn't seem to shake this feeling that kept trying to claw its way to the surface. It was a cloud of haze wrapped around something she couldn't afford to believe in.

Hope.

As far as she was concerned there was no hope for her. Not even at the bottom of Pandora's Box. No. That hope was meant for someone else. Someone who truly deserved it, who truly wanted it; and that someone was not her. 

A frustrated grunt left her mouth as she once again opened her eyes to see a small smirk cross Trenton's face. He knew something like this was going to happen. He probably planned it out while she was bound to the hospital bed, threatening to stay.

Calm down. 

Right. She needed to calm down she repeated as her eyes once again closed. He'd never leave her alone if she continued to be this combative. Her best strategy would be to gain his trust as fast as she could. Even if it was just a little. 

A stab of pain shot to her heart as if telling her to keep away. That she was making a grave mistake to even open up under false pretenses. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

As her eyes opened again she saw that he was now watching her with an unrecognizable expression. It was filled with such emotion that it caused her to take a step back. Gone was the smirk she had seen just moments ago. Now all that was left was this energy and electricity crackling silently between the two of them. Like a magnetic storm shooting bolts of lightning through the air and directly into her body.

The throbbing in her wrist hummed in tune with the lightning, further reminding her why she was standing in a stranger's bedroom trying her best to keep her cool. She had known him for less than a day and yet here she was watching him stare into her soul. And her mom had given him the opportunity to do so.

Out of the corner of her eye she watched as his jaw clenched and relaxed. Instinctively her eyes followed the movement, watching for any sign that he might say something to her. But nothing else happened.

"Fine."

The words were said a little firmer and with more contempt than Sonya had meant, but there was no denying that she hated this situation. More than that, she was beginning to despise her mother for placing her in it.

"It was never up for discussion, but thank you for not fighting me on it," he calmly replied in even tones, making her relax just a little. Clearing his throat he turned, "The bathroom is through that door. I took anything that could be used as a weapon out—just in case."

"Of course," she frowned.

With a nod of the head, he continued talking, "The shower is glass so there's no fear that you'll suffocate yourself. Also it's very thick so trying to throw yourself through it will only give you a headache if anything."

His eyes moved to Sonya again waiting for an outburst. When none came he continued talking. "The hooks have been removed, as well as the towel racks. And while you were waiting to be released I also had someone remove the mirror."

Sonya's eyes scanned the large room. Its deep brown color mixed with lighter earth tones gave a tranquil vibe. And just as he had said, everything had been removed. Even the vanity was bare except for soap and a small hand towel. 

"It only has a shower, which eliminates the risk of drowning. I'm not really a bath person anyway so my room is perfect for you to stay in."

"I see," Sonya whispered, more to herself than to him.

"I figured this was the only way I'd feel comfortable letting you in here alone."

"I wasn't—"

Trenton's hand rose as he gave her a sad smile. "Yes you were."

The pain behind his eyes hit her harder than they should. Someone who had only known her a day and yet here she was being guarded in his palace. And more than anything she wanted to reassure him that she was telling the truth. She wasn't going to try ending her life again. But then those pesky memories began to resurface and she remembered why she couldn't make that promise.

"What now?"

"Now you shower. There are clothes in the closet. Your friend Cameron was nice enough to bring you a change of clothes while we all waited for you to wake up." Sonya's eyes moved to his as she heard his voice drop at the words 'wake up', but he quickly turned his back to her again. "I'll be waiting out here for you."

Sonya's eyebrows lifted as she watched him turn back to here with a genuine smile on his face. "Don't worry; I'm not going to stand outside the door. I have work to do. Go on."

Hesitating for a second, Sonya slowly walked towards the bathroom stopping just inside the doorway. Her head turned to see that Trenton had already made his way to his desk. She could always make a run for it, she thought. But where would she go before he caught her and took her back to the hospital. They'd commit her for sure.

Instead she inhaled a deep breath of fresh air and placed her hand on the door quietly shutting it, effectively shielding her body from the man on the other side.

***

Trenton's body relaxed with the soft click of the bathroom door. He wanted more than anything to ask her what had driven her to do something so horrible. Did she not realize that there were so many people in her life that would miss her had she succeeded? And to die the way she had planned had to have taken some time to arrange. Obviously she had been thinking of this for a while. This thought alone drove Trenton to frown again.

His eyes flicked towards the closed door again when he heard the faint sound of water being turned on. From where he sat it sounded like a waterfall cascading over rounded rocks. Tranquil and serene and yet he couldn't seem to calm down imagining her in there all alone. What if he had missed something and she ended up hurting herself again?

Thinking back to that morning before he picked her up, Trenton couldn't find anything he'd missed. He had made sure that all was well and secured before he had left. He had even gone so far as to lock up all of his silverware. And yet the thought that she could improvise and find something within the confines of his bathroom set him on alert, listening for anything that would seem out of the ordinary.

When he heard nothing that would indicate she was in any danger, he turned back towards his computer, pulling up his email account. He had been out of the loop for an entire day, which was unheard of for him. The Great Trenton Sinclair was nothing if not a workaholic. 

As the page loaded he heard music begin to play. Was that a theme song from the movie Star Wars?

His eyebrows furrowed as he remembered whose ringtone it belonged to. Standing to walk towards his discarded jacket, his fingers blindly searched for the offending object. Freeing it from its confines only caused the sound to become louder. Just who he thought it was. 

Pressing ignore, he turned to walk back to his desk. Once again the music filled his bedroom with ominous instrumentals. This song was perfect for the caller, because if there was ever a word to describe them, it was definitely not anything positive.

His friend David had laughed at him the first time he had heard it. That alone caused Trenton to smile. He'd never forget that day.

****

The sun had hidden behind tiny droplets of ice crystals as ribbons of sunlight filtered through them. He had just watched a documentary on the effects of the weather and global warming on Earth. That detail was courtesy of the information he had learned on clouds. As he sat at his table, half listening to his friend talk about his latest conquest; he had relayed that tidbit of information to him.

"Dude, that's awfully nerdy of you to say."

This only caused Trenton to smile. His friend was forever calling him a nerd, but this nerd was one of the top ten eligible bachelors in the tri-state area.

"Yeah, well, nerdy is the new black or something like that," he laughed.

"Whatever," David laughed.

David's black hair was kept short but there were tell-tale signs of curls throughout it. For the ladies he would always say. His olive complexion always gave him a tanned look year round and his brown eyes were always focusing on some woman walking in his path. 

As Trenton began to address his friends obvious dismissal of what he'd just said his phone began to ring.

"Dude, is that The Imperial March from Star Wars?"

"Who's the nerd now," Trenton smiled, teasing his friend for knowing that tidbit of information.

"You made me watch it," he laughed, half joking. "So is it?"

Looking down at his phone Trenton couldn't suppress the frown that crossed his face. "Yeah."

"Darth Vader's theme song?" David asked for confirmation.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because I couldn't find anything else that fit," Trenton said, looking at his phone. It was at that moment the incessant them song playing on repeat finally stopped. And then immediately began playing again.

"Well, who is it?"

Staring at his phone with a frown he shrugged, "No one," he whispered as the song began again. Louder, if that was at all possible.

"Dude, answer it," David laughed.

"How many times have I told you to stop calling me 'dude'? We're not surfers on some beach."

"Whatever," he laughed even louder as the song began playing for what seemed like the tenth time. "You better answer it. Sounds like whoever no one is really wants to talk to you."

Trenton's frown deepened as he looked at his phone again before pressing answer.

"Hello."

Pause.

"Sorry Melissa, I didn't have my phone near me."

Pause

"No. I'm with David," he answered, rolling his eyes. "No, no he didn't bring any of his bitches."

Trenton smiled watching the amused expression on his friends face as he saw him mouth the word 'bitches'. 

"What? Oh, I wasn't supposed to say that part out loud? Sorry," he smiled.

Pause

"Right. Well, I'd love to chat but we're in the middle of a very important meeting."

Pause.

"Yes, a lunch meeting."

David laughed as he heard her rant about how he never had time for her.

"You knew how this when we started seeing each other. Now, I'll talk to you later. Yeah," and without saying good bye he hung up.

"Dude, your girls' ringtone is Darth Vader's Theme song," he burst out, no longer trying to suppress his laughter.

"Yeah."

"Why?" he asked for the second time.

"I already told you, because I couldn't find anything else that seemed to fit," he said with a straight face.

After seconds of pure silence they both broke out in a fit of laughter.

****

If someone would have told him he'd end up seriously dating her he would have laughed in their face. And that was exactly what had happened. How it had happened was a mystery to him. All he knew was that he couldn't find a way to break it off with her without sounding like an asshole. The fact that he had another woman naked in his bathroom crossed his mind for a brief second before his phone began to ring again.

The sound of the water turning off broke Trenton from his thoughts. But it was the sound of the creaking door moments later that caused him to turn his head, only to find a half-naked Sonya dripping water onto his floor.

"Sorry. I—I couldn't open the cabinet. It's locked," she whispered.

"Locked?" he asked with a dazed look in his eyes. He allowed them to roam her body, starting at her head and slowly make their way to her feet, which she shifted back and forward slightly.

"Yeah. The cabinet," she said moving around under the scrutiny of his gaze. "It's locked. You said my clothes are in the cabinet right?"

"Oh. Yeah. I have the key right here. Sorry about that. I forgot that my housekeeper normally locks it after she stocks it."

"Why," Sonya asked looking up at him as he walked closer to her. "Aren't you the only one who lives here?"

"Yes, but sometimes I have—"

It was then that his phone began to ring again. Like normal he let it go to voice mail, and like clockwork it rang seconds after he heard the beeping signifying a message had been left.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Sonya asked gesturing towards the phone on his bed.

Finally stopping in front of her, effectively closing the gap between the two of them, he shook his head. "No. It's no one."

****

Sonya's body relaxed as hot water cascaded over her body. She had aches in places she didn't even know were possible. The doctor had told her to avoid getting her bandage wet, but she didn't really see the point in doing that. She would be back in the ER within the day if she could just ditch her guard. 

Her eyes closed as she replayed the events that led up to this point. Sean had always told her that everything happens for a reason. And she had agreed with him up until her wedding day. As far as she was concerned the universe was a cosmic joke, and it could kiss her ass.

Steam filled the glass stall and within seconds she was surrounded in a haze. Her mind wandering off to what she would need to do next. "I guess I can figure that out after I eat," she whispered as her stomach rumbled.

Her hand turned the knob to the left as she shut off the now cool water. The throbbing in her wrist was stronger than ever, reminding her that she was still alive. It also reminded her that had she not been interrupted she would have succeeded. 

The razor blade had sliced through most of the artery, but had missed enough to keep her alive and place her in shock. Her wet feet touched the cold tile floor as she walked to the cabinet door and pulled.

When nothing happened she frowned and then tugged even harder. She was told that her arm would be weak for a while and that she might need some physical therapy to regain some function in a few of her fingers but this was just ridiculous. With another pull, Sonya realized that the door wasn't going to budge.

Sonya's heart pounded rapidly as she stared at the locked door. What was she supposed to do now? She didn't have any clothes to wear and she definitely wasn't going out there naked. Scanning the room, her eyes landed on the towel Trenton had mentioned earlier. As her hands slid over the soft material, picking it up, she stared at the terry cloth material with a look of shock.

"This is what he calls a towel," she murmured looking at the barely there piece of material. Of course, he probably thought she'd be drying off in the bathroom, and there was also the issue that she'd try using whatever she could to as he said 'off' herself.

Wrapping the item around her bosom, she realized that even though it covered all the important parts of her body, it was still very short. A small sliver of her thigh showing each time she took a step. After much consideration she finally stopped pacing.

"I'll just go out there. Get it over with. Rip it off like a Band-Aid. Yeah."

The sound of her feet slapping against the tiled floor echoed around her. The cold surface caused a small shiver to go through her with each step, as she neared her destination. Her breath escaped her almost violently as she fought to gain some control. After a few seconds of pumping herself up she slowly grabbed the door knob and twisted it. 

Creaking filled her ears as she took a step through the door. She was well aware of the exact moment Trenton turned around. His eyes fell on her and there was something there she had seen earlier. Was it lust? Or was it disgust? Sonya's eyes fell to the floor as she realized it was probably the second one. All of this help was just to get over feeling obligated since he was the one to help her and take her to the hospital. 

"Sorry. I—I couldn't open the cabinet. It's locked." 

Her voice came out as a squeak as she watched his eyes roam over her body. Making a mental picture in his head of her as he watched the drops of water she could feel on her skin cascade down, only to be absorbed by the terry cloth towel.

"Locked?

"Yeah. The cabinet," she said shifting uncomfortably under his gaze. "It's locked. 

"Oh. Yeah. Here's the key. Sorry about that. I forgot that my housekeeper normally locks it after she stocks it."

"Why," she asked looking up at him as he walked closer to her. "Aren't you the only one who lives here?"

"Yes, but sometimes I have—"

Her eyes landed on his bed as she heard the sound of music. His phone was lighting up from a call, but when Sonya's eyes went back to him, she saw that he was still staring at her. Within seconds the ringing stopped and was followed by a chime. She recognized that as the voice mail. It was the same sound her phone made. Although not lately. She hadn't really had anyone call her. But she only had herself to blame for that.

It was then that his phone began to ring again. 

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Sonya asked gesturing towards the phone on his bed.

Walking a little bit further to close the gap between the two, he shook his head. "No. It's no one."




Breathing Ch. 04



"No one," Sonya echoed. "Are you sure? Maybe it's important."

The smile that he gave her caught him off guard as he took the final step, landing him directly in front of her. His hand moved slowly around her wrist, swiping his thumb over her wrist. "I'm sure."

"Um—"

"Don't worry about it. It'll stop soon," he whispered as he leaned forward. His lips were inches from hers. So close that she could feel his breath ghosting against her face. Sonya's eyes closed and for the first time she could feel the heat radiating off of him. 

Cold metal touched her palm, and she opened her eyes again watching the same expression cross his face as he closed her fingers around the object.

"Keep the key," he whispered. "Consuela will probably lock it again. This way you already have it," he answered turning around and going back to check his email.

"Yeah," Sonya whispered looking at his retreating back. "Thanks." 

And with that said, she turned around and walked swiftly back to the bathroom. The sound of the door closing was like a nail in his coffin.

****

Half an hour later Sonya emerged from the bathroom wearing a pair of her favorite pajamas. The pink and black plaid pants accentuated her butt perfectly while the pink tank top hung loosely against her chest. She had expected to see Trenton sitting at his desk, but was surprised to see that he was no longer there. Her coffee colored eyes scanned the room for the first time since she had stepped foot inside it.

She had always been a big believer in Karma. So part of her was resigned to her fate while the rebellious side clawed at her to be let out. Even as she felt the panic that started to form in her she realized that it was short lived. Karma sometimes got it wrong. The Universe wasn't the, be all know all she reasoned. If it were then Sean would be with her and she wouldn't be in some stranger's bedroom.

There was a touch of elegance that she hadn't seen amongst the large leather sofas in the living room. A modest comforter was placed on the bed, accentuated by three large pillows. Sonya wanted to smile at the thought of seeing him lying between the pastel blue of his pillow cases.

"At least there are no flowers," she whispered to herself. 

If there was one thing she hated when it came to furniture or bedding of any kind, it was a floral pattern. This however was nice and subtle. The baby blue of the pillows a nice contrast to the midnight shimmer of his satin comforter.

Curious eyes shifted to the left where his desk sat. The wood was a dark color that resembled a mahogany. That must have been his doing. Even though she didn't know him he seemed the type to get his way if he deemed it necessary.

Quiet assailed her ears for the first time since she had been in her palace sized prison. Nibbling at her bottom lip, Sonya took one small step towards the door before stopping at the sound of her slippers hitting the hardwood floor. Her breath caught in her throat as she listened for any other movement.

Ten seconds passed without another noise being heard.

Then thirty—

Forty five seconds.

Finally satisfied that she was alone for the first time in days, she quickly shuffled towards the bedroom door. The gentle flap of her maroon slippers the only indication anyone was home. Stopping right before the door she stared as if it was the iron gates out of hell. Her hand slid to the door knob, testing it out. In the back of her mind she was ready for it to burn her hand, warning her to turn around and stay put. 

Taking a deep breath, Sonya slowly turned the doorknob and pulled. The soft groaning of the door was like a gavel hammering down on her. 

Her early assumption had been wrong as the aroma of bacon hit her nose. The scent caused her to pause briefly, remind her that it had been awhile since she had eaten. As if confirming her thought, Sonya's stomach rumbled its approval.

Eyes as dark as midnight cast its gaze down at her stomach, frowning as she silently told hit that food wasn't important right now. If she were lucky she could sneak to another part of the house. Surely he had something sharp. 

Turning her back to the wafting smell of fried deliciousness Sonya was stopped in her tracks by the baritone timber of her 'Warden'.

The thought of betraying Trenton's trust saddened her, but the emotion was not strong enough to force her to reconsider. The hallway was dark, with shadows bouncing off random objects caused from the skylight above her. 

"What are you doing?"

The accusation in Trenton's voice was undeniable. She had been caught with her hand in the metaphorical cookie jar. Shifting slightly on her feet, Sonya turned her head to look at him. His appearance was much more causal than earlier. The stone washed jeans he wore hung low on his hips, covered in what appeared to be batter.

Moving her eyes up Sonya couldn't help but notice the light dusting of hair on his chest. And for a second her heard sped up, but just like all the other times she'd felt herself reacting positively she cut the string to that particular emotion.

"Do you always cook without a shirt?" she asked harshly, deflecting his attention from what she had been trying to do.

"Do you always sneak around other people's houses?" 

"I wasn't sneaking. I thought I smelled bacon."

Taking a step towards her he frowned. "You did smell bacon. And my shirt is off because I had a—pancake accident. I was coming to get a shirt when I saw you," he explained.

"Oh," she whispered. "Wait, pancake accident?"

"Yeah," he laughed. "Come with me."

"I was just going to go—"

"With me," he cut her off, grabbing her arm securely in his grip, but not so hard it would hurt her. 

"Trenton!" she yelled.

"Sonya!" he yelled back in mock anger, but the smile on his face told another story. 

Seconds later they were both standing in his bedroom again. Her arms folded securely over her chest as she watched him walk towards his dresser. With his back to her she slowly took off her flip flops. The cool texture of the hardwood floor against her feet was a shock to her system, but she couldn't let that deter her.

Turning her eyes back to Trenton, she took one step then another towards the open door. If she was lucky she could get to a phone and call her mom. Or better yet she could call Cameron and beg her to take her in instead.

"Where do you think you're going?"

The question caused her to release a very unlady like curse from her mouth. In her attempt to escape she had gotten so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't even noticed him turn around. He now wore a blue t-shirt that matched his eyes. But as she looked into those swirly orbs she noticed that there was no expression currently gracing his face. There was no anger or pity, just a blank wall.

"Nowhere," Sonya answered. "I—was just—pacing. You were taking a long time perusing through your clothes and I haven't eaten in a long time."

Helping her prove her point, her stomach rumbled loudly. Sonya sent up a silent thank you as she watched Trenton's face soften. "Sorry. I'm done. Let's go get you some food."

"Okay. Thanks."

And just like that she was being escorted to the kitchen. All thoughts of escape temporarily put on the back burner.

****

Trenton's body vibrated at being so close to her, but then the look in her eyes stopped him from making the biggest mistake in his life. Placing the key into her hand, he took a step back.

"Keep the key. Consuela will probably lock it again. This way you already have it," he answered turning his back and going back to check his email. 

He tried his best to ignore the confused look on her face, or the way his body felt just leaving her alone in the middle of his floor. The sound of her soft footsteps walking back to the bathroom caused his body to relax with each step. It wasn't until the soft click of the door closing echoed through the room did Trenton release the breath he had been holding.

If he wasn't safe she would drive him crazy. And if there was one thing Trenton Sinclair never did was allow a woman to play with his emotions. It was merely guilt drawing him towards her. He had found her in a pool of her own blood. That alone was enough for him to want her near. In some way he had begun to feel responsible for her life. 

The fact that she kept looking at him with pain in her eyes didn't help either. He wanted to be able to erase that look from her eyes. To know that he wasn't the reason it was there. 

"Shit," Trenton whispered out loud. He needed to do something to get his mind off of her. Breakfast. He could make breakfast, he hadn't eaten in hours, and since he had given his housekeeper the week off it would keep him occupied.

Turning his head towards the door once more, he frowned and sent up a silent prayer that she would be okay, and walked out into the hallway. With one last glance he closed the door and headed towards his kitchen.

Once inside the enormous kitchen Trenton began pulling out the ingredients he'd need. 

"Everyone loves bacon," he smiled. "And pancakes. Yeah, she'd like pancakes."

With a whistle he poured batter and milk into the mixer and pressed the first button he saw.

Ten minutes later

"Stupid pancake mix," he grumbled. "How does Consuela do this every day? Electric mixers are stupid," he complained. 

Looking down at his shirt, he cursed as he watched batter run down his brand new Ralph Lauren button down.

Trenton's hands moved quickly, undoing the buttons until the shirt lay open. Taking it off, he flung it to the ground and began walking towards his bedroom. It was then that he saw Sonya walking towards his living room.

"What are you doing?"

He watched as her body stiffened and then watched as she slowly turned around. His eyes roamed over her pink pajama top slowly working its way to the flip flops that were on her feet. Her feet were shuffling back and forward nervously giving away the fact that she was up to no good. What was he going have to do to keep her safe? Handcuff her to his bed?

The thought was quickly discarded as he looked into her angry eyes.

"Do you always cook without a shirt?" he heard her ask. 

"Do you always sneak around other people's houses?" 

"I wasn't sneaking. I thought I smelled bacon."

Taking a step towards her he frowned. "You did smell bacon. And my shirt is off because I had a—pancake accident. I was coming to get a shirt when I saw you," he explained.

"Oh," she whispered. "Wait, pancake accident?"

He hadn't wanted to remember his incident in the kitchen. How was he supposed to know that putting a mixer on high would make such a mess? It also didn't help that he filled it up completely to the top thinking that it would help him make more pancakes. 

"Yeah," he laughed. "Come with me."

"I was just going to go—"

"With me," he cut her off, grabbing her arm securely in his grip, but making sure he wasn't hurting her with his firm grip

"Trenton!" she yelled.

"Sonya!" he yelled back trying his best not to laugh at how childlike she sounded.

As he stepped into the bedroom he released his grip on her arm and walked over to his dresser. His eyes were glued to one shirt in particular. It was a gift from Melissa. Seeing it staring back at him reminded him that he had a girlfriend. A very beautiful girlfriend. Who gets on his very last nerve, he reminded himself.

She had called him a total of fifteen times since he had arrived home. It didn't help matters that each time he had allowed it to go to voicemail. He hadn't wanted Sonya to hear him talking to her. How messed up was that he thought. He didn't want the complete stranger in his house to hear him having a conversation with his girlfriend because then she might get upset. The irony was not lost on him, that he cared more for the mocha goddess in his bedroom.

"Mocha goddess," he laughed as he pulled on a blue graphic tee. Turning around to face Sonya he noticed that she had slowly inched her way to the bedroom door. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Fuck," he heard her whisper as she turned around slowly. He would have to watch her more intently if she was this bold.

"Nowhere," Sonya answered. "I—was just—pacing. You were taking a long time perusing through your clothes and I haven't eaten in a long time."

"Sorry. I'm done. Let's go get you some food."

"Okay. Thanks."

"After you," Trenton bowed making a show of allowing her to go in front of him. He watched as Sonya tensed and then began to walk towards the kitchen. The loud clapping of her flip flops hitting the floor were unmistakable now. She didn't care who heard her now. After all that work she had still been caught and forced to walk around with him.

"HOLY—"

"It's not that bad," he cut her off.

Sonya's eyes landed on the gourmet style kitchen with a shocked expression on her face. Sitting on the counter was a blue mixer and bowl. At least she thought it could be blue. It was hard to tell with all of the beige and white batter covering it. This was just like watching a car accident on a highway except the cars were a mixing bowl and pancake mix. So this is what he meant by pancake accident.

"Not that bad," Sonya almost shouted. "What do you call good?"

"I didn't burn down the kitchen," he smiled as if that was a feat to be proud of.

Quickly Sonya's head snapped toward the stove and oven. When she saw that neither one had been turned on she let out a sigh of relief.

"You didn't start the oven so that's good," she said thoughtfully. 

The sight before her was pure chaos. If she didn't know any better she'd think that a child had helped him with breakfast, but there was no one around but the two of them.

When Sonya didn't say anything Trenton looked at his surroundings. There was batter dripping from the counter onto his Italian stonework. In his attempt to make pancakes he had panicked and forgotten the bacon that was cooking. To him it was good enough but at closer inspection, it was garbage bound.

"It didn't look this bad when I came to get a shirt."

Trenton watched Sonya as she walked towards the mess. Her eyes never leaving the spills that flowed throughout the kitchen. No doubt she was trying not to fall.

Finally her eyes looked up and met his. "I'm going to make you breakfast," Sonya finally announced.

"I couldn't do that. You're my guest," Trenton started. "I wouldn't feel right making you make your own meal while I just sat her."

Laughing for the first time since they arrived, Sonya picked up a clean sponge and pushed it towards his chest. "Who said anything about you sitting down? You're cleaning up this mess." 

"But—"

"And once you're done you can help me cut up some vegetables. You have vegetables right?"

"I'm not giving you a knife?" Trenton blurted out. In that instance the mood changed and everything went back to the awkward silence that smothered them earlier.

After what felt like hours Sonya nodded her head, "Fine. You can cut them up, and I'll instruct you."

"What are we making?" he asked hesitantly.

"Omelets"

"You can cook?"

Smiling Sonya pointed to his mess, "I don't think you have the right to ask me if I can cook."

"Touché," he laughed.

And so the two set off on their tasks. Sonya with her cooking and Trenton with cleaning up the mess he had made. It was the first time either of them had let their guard down. Something Trenton hoped she did more often while she was there.

****

The rest of breakfast went down without a hitch. Sonya had put in the chopped up green peppers and mushrooms to their omelet while effortlessly cooking the bacon and pancakes at the same time.

"How did you learn to cook so well?"

"Sean—," she paused, looking down at the spatula in her hand.

Her eyes watered as she said his name. She had once again betrayed him. Here she was laughing and carrying on with a total stranger. She had forgotten about him. What kind of person did that? Forgot about the man they were supposed to love with all their heart. She was practically throwing herself at him.

"Sonya, there's nothing wrong with having a good time. You aren't bringing shame to him because you don't spend every waking hour thinking of him. Punishing yourself for something that isn't your fault," Trenton whispered.

"How would you know Trenton? You don't know shit about me. So don't tell me what I should or shouldn't do. Or how I should feel," she yelled at him.

"Okay. I'm sorry," he whispered again.

"And how dare you say that I'm punishing myself. "

Placing his fork on the counter Trenton looked at her for a second. "Aren't you?"

Before she could utter another word the doorbell rang. The sound was just as harsh and demanding as the conversation going on between the two of them. Even if the hostility was only coming from one side. No one made to move towards the sound which caused the person on the other side of the door to ring it again, this time holding it down a little longer.

"Come with me," he whispered.

"Yes, Warden," Sonya murmured under her breath.

Trenton pretended that he hadn't heard her comment as he walked a couple steps in front of her. The silhouette on the other side of the door made him pause. It was definitely a woman. "Shit."

Maybe after all of those ignored calls, Melissa had decided to just stop by. How was he supposed to explain what Sonya was doing there? The same woman he had claimed to not know the day before.

Walking the last few feet he slowly pulled open the door to greet the person on the other side, but wasn't given the chance as Cameron pushed her way past him.

"It's about damn time. What took you so long?"

"CeCe!"

"Sonya," she yelled back at her friend. "I'm so glad that you're okay. I was so scared."

"I know."

"Please don't do that again," she gasped through the tears that had started to fall.

"Oh CeCe. Please don't do that."

"I can't help it. If I had just paid attention and not left you alone for some fucking date—" 

She couldn't even finish the sentence as the words caught in her throat. 

"I brought someone with me," she said pulling away from her best friend.

"Who?" Sonya asked confused.

"What you mean 'who?'"

"Mom?"

"Who else would it be?" she smiled.

Looking blankly at her mom Sonya turned and walked away. She didn't know whether she was happy or angry at her right now. She had given her to a stranger. As cliché as that sounds it was true. Her own mom had allowed a complete stranger to take her into his home. And while he wasn't a serial killer or rapist, he was still someone she did not know. 

"Sonny," her mom called.

Hearing that name set every hair on body ablaze. Had she not asked them not to call her that? Why did they insist on rubbing her face in the dirt and then act surprised when she came up swinging?

"Didn't I ask you to stop calling me that?" Sonya asked her mom without turning around.

"Well yes, but—"

"And still you do it," she asked turning to face her. "Why? What did I ever do to you?" 

Her mother took a step towards her, hand raised to her mouth, "Nothing. Son-Sonya, I love you. I just forgot. I'm sorry."

"Are you? You find out I'm in the hospital. That I tried to—that I hurt myself. And you just decided 'I'll let this nice strange man take on my burden.' Thanks mom," she hissed as she stared into her mother's eyes.

"It wasn't like that at all!"

"Really?"

Seeing where this was going Cameron stepped in and placed a hand on Theresa's shoulder. "Why don't we go see what that smell is in the kitchen? I don't know about you but I could eat a couple horses.

"Yeah. Let's go do that," Theresa whispered seeing the pain on her daughter's face. Each time worse than the last time she had spoken to her.

Sonya's eyes followed the two women as they walked down the hallway. The touch of a hand on her shoulder forced her to avert her attention. Trenton was there standing beside her. The look in his eyes was soft and gentle and she couldn't help it when she found arms wrapping around him. His hand slowly came up to stroke her straight locks as she sobbed into his chest. 




Breathing Ch. 04



It was the most heartbreaking sound he had ever heard. 

****

Theresa paused in the hall, glancing back once to see that Sonya was now grabbing onto Trenton for dear life. Her eyes welled up with fresh tears as she sent up a silent prayer that one day her daughter would forgive her. There was just something about that young man that she couldn't shake.

"Come on, Momma T, let's go to the kitchen."

Theresa couldn't help but smile as she looked back towards Cameron. She had been like a daughter to her. Wherever Sonya had been there was Cameron. And when Sean had died it was like nursing two children back to health. Each one drowning in a different type of pain. But it was pain that she couldn't fix with a Band-Aid and a quick kiss to the forehead.

Cameron intently watched the expression her adoptive mom's face. Cameron's own mother had died when they were younger. It had only been her, Sean and their dad Adam for years. Sean had been the strong one in the bunch, always keeping her grounded. Even at the age of sixteen he took over the role of man of the house when their father fell into a depressed state and stayed there.

If she didn't know any better she'd say that it had only deepened with the death of Sean. Had he been there now Cameron knew exactly what he would say. "I knew you were a big baby Cammy, now buck up or I'll tickle you till you pee your pants."

A small chuckle escaped her lips as she thought of how he could always make her laugh. Sonya was only an added bonus that made their little family much more vibrant and filled in the huge void Cameron had been filling. It was nice to have another woman to talk to.

And so that is how the dynamic due had come into existence.

As the memory slowly faded back into the recess of her brain Cameron took time to look at her surroundings. This place looks familiar she thought as she looked around the kitchen.

"Bacon!" she yelled when her eyes landed on the delicious strips of meat.

Taking a bite she moaned closing her eyes for a second, "Crunchy goodness," she sighed opening her eyes only when the sound of laughter filled her ears.

"What?" she mumbled.

"Nothing," Theresa smiled feeling a little better about the events of the day.

****

Sonya's throat hurt as she took in a ragged breath. She hadn't known so much pain was able to burst through her and escape. But here she was bawling her eyes out. Why did it still hurt so much? All she wanted was to stop being. Nothing else could describe the feeling of dread and guilt she felt each time she took a breath.

There was so much she had kept inside and now it was clawing at its cage, loudly shaking its chains at her.

"It's all my fault," she cried to herself against the fabric of Trenton's shirt.

"What is?"

"Everything," came the muffled reply.

Rough hands contrasted with the gentle touch Sonya felt on her shoulders. The small amount of pressure he applied caused her to look up at him. His icy blue eyes held as much emotion in them as hers, which only caused her to cry more.

She didn't see Sean when she looked at Trenton. She could still see the resemblance, but he was definitely not her Sean. Did that mean she was forgetting?

"Sonya?"

"I'm so sorry about your shirt," she hiccuped through her tears.

"It's just a shirt," Trenton whispered as he stroked her hair. A small sob left her mouth as she turned her head.

"It's okay Sunshine."

This caught her attention causing her to look up at him.

"Sunshine?"

Well—," he blushed. "You hate when people call you Sonny, and I get that. It was your special thing. Something you want to keep private between the two of you now that he's—gone. But when I first saw you it was as if my world exploded with color and all the cold in the world ceased to exist.

Even through your pain there's brightness about you. It's almost blinding and yet I can't stay away. You warm my—you're just a ray of sunlight."

"Sunshine—," Sonya murmured to herself.

Clearing his throat Trenton looked anywhere but at her. "We should go check on your mom."

"Trenton?"

"Yeah, Sonya?"

"Thank you."

***

Sonya walked into the kitchen to find Cameron stuffing her mouth with the remaining bacon. Her cheeks stuck out like a chipmunk and she was rubbing her stomach in a suggestive way. The scene before her eyes forced her to smile. If anyone could get her to smile it was Cameron. 

"What are you doing? And why are you rubbing your stomach like that? Stop it," Sonya laughed.

"Girl, did he cook this?" Cameron asked with her mouth full of food.

"No, he can't cook."

"Can't cook?" she almost yelled, turning her attention to Trenton. "At all?"

"At all," Sonya cut in just as he was about to answer her question.

"Kind of like you at first," Cameron smiled as she shoved another strip of bacon into her mouth."

With fake shock, Sonya placed her hand over her heart and gasped, "Well I never."

"Exactly," Cameron laughed.

Theresa watched as her girls laughed and enjoyed each other's company. Glad that she had done something right by not coming alone. 

****

Sonya's eyes lit up for the first time in a year. Here she was laughing and enjoying herself with her best friend. Occasionally her eyes would meet her mother's but then she would immediately move them away. She was still angry with her for abandoning her in her time of need. 

The announcement that they would be leaving soon caught Sonya by surprise. She wanted them to stay longer. She wanted them to take her with them. Once again her eyes met her mother's. This time she was the one to look away.

"So you're just going to leave me here? After everything I said earlier?"

"Sonya—I think it's for the best," Theresa stammered.

"For who?" she asked looking up into the eyes of the woman who gave her life.

"For all of us. He can help you more than I can. I just feel it in my gut. You were supposed to be here," she whispered. "Everything happens for a reason. You taught me that."

And without waiting for Sonya to say anything, her mother turned and walked out of the kitchen. The sound of the front door closing a stake to the heart as she waited for her to come back, but it never happened. 

"Give it time," Cameron said into her hair as she pulled her into a hug.

"What about you CeCe? Can I stay with you?"

"I wish I could. But the only way they'd let you out the hospital is if you went with someone. Since your mom is your next of kin she was the logical option. But Sonya—she gave Trenton a Power of Attorney for the next three days. I can't do anything," she frowned.

Tears rolled down both women's faces as they realized the importance of the situation. Cameron hadn't abandoned her as she had originally thought. Her mother had made it impossible for her as well. 

"But I'm coming to visit you as much as possible now that I know where you are," she smiled, wiping her tears.

"You better," Sonya smiled.

"Well—I better go. Call me later okay. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"Okay."

As she walked to the door, Cameron could still sense the pain her friend was in. It was all consuming and reached for her even as she grabbed the doorknob. Doing what she had always done when she left and something was troubling either of them; Cameron turned her head and smiled. 

"I love you Sonya. You know that right?"

"I love you too, CeCe."

And with that she watched her best friend open the door and step through it.

****

The sun set a lot sooner than she had expected. It had been one hell of a day. And all she wanted to do was sleep. The throbbing in her wrist reminded her that it was time for her pain medication. With her palm open she looked at the small white pill. Of course they had given the bottle to Trenton. Wouldn't want her getting any ideas, she thought snidely.

And she had gotten several ideas when she had learned they would be giving her pain meds. Now that she knew they'd be given to her by her warden, it defeated the purpose. She didn't want the pills to regulate her pain. She needed them to stop it all together.

Grabbing a small piece of tissue, Sonya tucked the pill neatly inside and walked to the cabinet. Opening it, she hid it behind her feminine hygiene products and locked it with the key she had been given.

"You almost done," a voice yelled, startling her.

"Almost," she yelled back. Then looking at the locked cabinet whispered, "Almost."

Walking out into the master bedroom, Sonya stopped at the bathroom door. Her eyes settled on the man sitting beside the bed on an air mattress. For the second time that day, Sonya's expression softened as she realized he had never intended to sleep in the bed with her.

"Thought I was going to be in bed with you," he smiled.

Sonya simply nodded her answer.

"I'd never do that to you. You don't know me and no offense but I don't know you either. For all I know you kick in your sleep," he smiled.

"I don't," was her only response.

"The bed has new sheets and pillows. And I brought you a glass of water just in case you get thirsty in the middle of the night."

Sonya's eyes drifted towards the glass on the nightstand. "Aren't you afraid I'll smother myself in my sleep? Or sneak out?"

"I hadn't thought of that with the pillows," he said getting up and pulling them from the bed.

"Are you serious? I was just kidding," Sonya yelled. 

"Well I'm not taking any chances. If you thought of it now you'll end up thinking it's a good idea. God, I can't believe I didn't think of that. Stupid," he chastised himself.

"And the door," she asked, half hating herself for saying the last part out loud.

"I locked it when you were in the bathroom," he answered, unlocking it and throwing the pillows in the hallway before locking it again.

"I really am a prisoner here," she murmured to herself.

"Be happy I didn't take the doctor's advice and handcuff one of your hands to the headboard," Trenton smiled before turning over on his air mattress.

"Night Sunshine," he smiled.

"I think I hate that name too," she grumbled, trying to get comfortable with the lack of pillows.

"It'll grow on you," Trenton whispered.

The sound of her breathing was the only thing letting him know she had finally fallen asleep.

****

Screams filled the air as Trenton jerked awake. Above him the sound of agony so deep cut him to the core. Moving to his feet, he watched as Sonya's features twisted in a mixture of pain and sadness. Trenton tried to listen to what she was saying, but each word collided with the next as she screamed them.

Climbing on the bed with her, Trenton gently stroked her hair. "Shhh."

Sonya grabbed onto him and buried her head in his chest as her sobs slowly woke her. In the dark she had thought that he was Sean. But the smell was all wrong. The way he held her wasn't right either. It was then that she realized that the dream was still true. Her Sean was gone. 

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed to no one in particular.

"Shhh—just lean on me. I'll be your strength for now," Trenton whispered into her hair.

"Why are you doing this for me?" Sonya asked slowly drifting back to sleep.

Closing his eyes he simply answered, "Because you're the light to my darkness."

The sound of Sonya's light breathing was the only response to his words. They had been playing on repeat since the very first day he laid eyes on her. He just didn't know why.



Breathing Ch. 05



Hi everyone! I know it's been forever but here is chapter 5. I hope you enjoy it. Please leave comments and let me know what I can do to improve this. Or just to tell me what you think. Thanks.

-TheOnlineStalker

******

Headlights flashed in the distance as Sonya watched them become brighter with each passing second. The low rumble of an engine echoed amongst the thunder quickly becoming lost in the night. Finally an image appeared at the end of the block. Sonya smiled as she watched Sean on his bike. She thought he would have been with Cameron. Sonya had sent her best friend out an hour before the ceremony to make sure that he made it on time. 

If she knew anything about Sean, she knew that he would be obsessing over getting everything just right. He never did understand that everything about him was already 'just right'. 

A flash of lightning speared the sky accompanied by another crash of lightning. Sonya bounced lightly on her toes as she waited for the light to turn green. As her eyes focused on him she began to wonder where Cameron was. As a matter of fact she hadn't heard anything from her maid of honor. And also, why was Sean riding his bike in the pouring rain? He would never be so careless.

It was then that Sonya realized that something wasn't right. Her eyes focused on the metal contraption as the traffic light finally turned green. Her heart sped up as she realized she needed to do something. She needed to warm him to be careful. She needed him to go back. But more than anything she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs for him to stop.

But like all the other times she watched as his bike swerved before sliding on the rain soaked asphalt. Crimson streaks rushed down the oily ground, soaking in his life force as she stood there screaming into the night. 

Each time she watched as his broken body simply disappeared into thin air. 

"Sean!"

Sonya's body jerked as her eyes opened. The darkness greeted her like it always did. Only this wasn't the same darkness that she felt in her soul. This was much worse because she was still alive. And Sean was still dead. And to make matters worse she was trapped in a house with a man she didn't know but felt a small inkling of something for. Although she was not sure what that something was. 

That thought alone brought her back to the dream.

She managed to suppress a small sob that wanted desperately to escape. It was the same dream every night.

Every night for the past year.

And no matter how many times she tried to warn him to turn around she couldn't save him. And what use was she if she couldn't even save the man that she loved? 

Each time she woke up Sonya felt as if she had just lost him, and that was the hardest part about waking up. 

It made the need to end her life that much greater than it was the previous night. Sonya let thoughts run rampant through her mind as she tried to calculate a way to escape. She knew it would be difficult with her new warden watching her every move, but she would figure something out. She was nothing if not determined. And if anything she was much more determined to make the ache in her heart stop.

A hiss managed to escape her mouth as pain rocketed up her arm causing her to grit her teeth. She had stashed her pain meds the previous night and now the pain was making itself known. The throbbing turning into a sharp pin prink of pain. Sonya closed her eyes as she reminded herself it would all be worth it in the end. She needed to feel the pain to remember why she had to do this. 

She couldn't let herself forget for one moment what it felt like to live with a giant hole in her heart. No matter how many people were trying their best to patch it up. 

Shaking the thoughts from her head she reset her thoughts. It didn't matter one way or another what everyone thought. She didn't plan on seeing another sunset let alone a sunrise. 

With the use of all the air she could muster, Sonya moved her body forward slightly only to find that she couldn't move. Her eyes shifted around the room for the first time since she had woken up. She allowed her eyes to become accustomed to the dark before they drifted down to see a tan forearm thrown over her body. 

The hand was placed softly against her stomach. And then without hesitation the hand began to move in a circle before stopping. A small gasp left her as she realized how intimate this must look.

Her first instinct was to throw his arm off of her and push him off the bed. She hadn't been in a position like this since Sean and she damn well didn't want to be in it with this guy. Sonya could feel the hard planes of his chest pressed up against her back. The slow movement of his body as his breath tickled the back of her neck. And then she remembered how she had woken up screaming in the middle of the night.

Trenton had rushed to her aid; to quiet her screams that CeCe normally kept at bay. In the dark she hadn't noticed that it was him who rocked her silently. She hadn't known that he was real and for a split second she imagined that it was Sean holding her close to him. And that thought alone had helped her fall back asleep. 

Now with her mind free of her nightmare, Sonya just wanted to push him away from her. She wanted to yell at him for comforting her. To fling his offending limb from her body and ask him where the hell he got the nerve to touch her without permission. But just as her hand lifted to execute this plan, Sonya paused. 

A new plan immediately immerged as she realized this could be the opportunity she was thinking about earlier. If she could just find the key he used to lock her in, she could leave and find a nice place to be alone. At least then he wouldn't be able to find her. She would figure out the details after she was free of him.

With her good hand, Sonya slowly lifted Trenton's hand stopping at the sound of his breath catching. When he didn't leap up or ask her what she was doing Sonya placed it behind. Her body wiggled slightly as she moved to the edge of the bed. Braving a glance behind her, she sat up slowly placing one foot on the floor followed by the other. 

Once both feet touched the ground Sonya managed to stand to her full height without falling back onto the bed. A small cry of victory could be heard floating around her head as she realized she was that much closer to getting what she wanted.

Her eyes once again moved around the room, landing on the drawer that Trenton had placed her pain medication. He had tried his best to hide them from her, but she had caught him locking the drawer the night before. Trying her best to be as quiet as possible Sonya moved towards the desk. She wasn't sure where the keys were but she was sure she could figure something out.

Pain coursed through her arm as she lifted it to move papers around. The soft shuffle of paper whispered through the room as she continued her search. He was a real ass to lock her in with him she thought. The next thought that emerged almost made her pause. What if she couldn't find the keys? 

She would just figure something out, Sonya mused again while making another attempt to find the missing keys. 

"What do you think you're doing?"

Whipping her head around Sonya saw the most vibrant set of cerulean eyes staring at her. 

And they looked pissed.

"Shit."

****

Trent noticed the moment Sonya's breathing changed. Throughout the night she had tossed and turned and even woken up screaming which caused him to get into bed with her to comfort her. The next time she whimpered in her sleep he glanced down at her only to see her brow furrowed. And then she wouldn't make another sound. After that she had slept peacefully. He had even woken up a few times just to check on her, but to the best of his knowledge, she appeared to be okay. 

That was until the word 'stop' slipped from her mouth. Seconds later her body jerked and then relaxed. The sound of her breathing was faster than it had been seconds ago and her body language had instantly changed.

She was awake.

Trent looked down at the site they made. His arm thrown protectively over her middle as he watched over her.

When she didn't threaten to remove his arm, he figured that she must not have noticed it yet. Seconds later he heard a soft gasp, followed by a soft touch to his arm. The contact was quick but still caused him to move his hand across her stomach. They continued to stay cuddled together which caused Trent to close his eyes again. He didn't know why but this was the most peace he had felt in years.

And although he felt it should scare him, all he felt was calm. Little did he know that it was the calm before a very bad storm.

A few more seconds passed and Sonya still hadn't yelled at him. It was then that she slowly removed his arm from her stomach. The weight of the bed shifted and then became still.

Trent's eyes opened as he watched her survey the room. She was trying to figure out a way to sneak away. The barely audible sound of a sigh slipped from her and echoed in his ears. There was no way she could sneak away, but he also didn't want her to think of ways to try. 

Trent lifted his head as he waited for her to go to the door. He had locked it but with everything that happened the night before perhaps she wasn't aware of that. Well, she was in for a rude awakening. However, instead of going for the door she moved towards his desk. 

Her hands lifted slowly and landed on the stack of paperwork he had been sorting through the day before. The sound of shuffling could barely be heard. And if he had been asleep he wouldn't have even noticed she was rifling through his things. His eyes moved over her body as Sonya leaned down trying to find the key. 

It was when Sonya's hand moved dangerously close to his hiding spot that Trent let it be known that he was awake.

"What do you think you're doing?" 

The way her head swung around would have made him laugh if he wasn't becoming increasingly angry with her. 

"Shit."

Even though he had caught her red handed, she still whispered as if he were sleeping.

"Um..."

"I'm waiting Sonya."

Her eyes darted around the room landing on everything but Trent. He could only guess what excuse she was going to use.

"Bathroom," she lied.

"Bathroom?" he threw back at her. He knew damn well she wasn't looking for the bathroom since it was in the opposite direction.

"Yes," she hissed, moving her hands in an upward motion. 

At the sound of her pain Trent's face relaxed a little, before hardening again. "Are you okay?"

"Fuck. You."

Rising from the bed Trent walked over to her until he was inches away from her face. "I guess that's a yes."

Then slipping past her he grabbed the key hidden in a small lockbox on his desk and unlocked the bedroom door. "You might want to go to the bathroom," he threw back at her. The confused expression on his face made him smirk a little. "Since that was where you were going, right?" And with that Trent closed the door behind him. But not before he heard her whisper the word 'shit'.

****

The door slammed behind Trent rattling a few pictures on the wall. He wasn't stupid. He knew damn well she was trying to get away from him. It didn't matter that he had locked the door and she wouldn't have gotten out, it was the fact that after the previous night she had taken five steps backwards.

His heart pounded to a beat all its own as he ran his calloused fingers through his hair. The look in her eyes when she'd been caught made him angry and sad. She still wanted to die. There was no sugar coating it. That woman in his room needed more than he could give her. Maybe it was a mistake bringing her to his home. 

Especially if he slightly reminded her of a dead man she had been grieving an entire year for. A man she was to marry. A man she wanted to die to be with.

The last thought was a punch to the stomach. Trent turned to look at the door. Its solid structure mocked him. How could something inanimate make him feel so weak? No, he wasn't going to let this go. He was going to go back in there and talk to her. He needed to call her mother as well. This had been a huge mistake. 

I'll call her after we talk.

The door knob twisted with a slight squeak as he pushed the door open. The sound of the shower eased his tension. At least she couldn't harm herself in his room.

"Sonya," Trenton called to her as he walked towards the door.

Of course there was no answer. She was pissed at him. She had shown him that since day one.

"Sonya! When you get out you need to take your pain meds and then we need to talk," he yelled louder.

There was still no answer. With a sigh he moved away from the door. Day two had only just begun and they were off to a horrible start.

Trent's feet padded soundlessly across the floor to the locked drawer where he'd stored the Oxycodone. Slipping his hand into his pajama pockets Trent pulled out nothing but air. Moving over to the other pocket he came back with the same result. The key wasn't in his pants. His eyes moved around to find it laying on the floor. 

"That's weird."

Leaning down, he quickly picked up the key and slid it into his desk drawer. But when he tried to turn it there was no click. Trent frowned and twisted the key back again only to hear it lock. A feeling of dread crept up his spine as he twisted the key to the right again getting the click he was missing the first time. As his hands slowly slid the drawer open all the oxygen left his lungs. The bottle of pain medication was missing.

"Fuck!"

Racing to the door he tried to twist the knob only to find that the door was locked. Backing away he slammed his shoulder into it with as much force as he could. A groan vibrated in the room as the framing splintered slightly.

"Sonya," he yelled, backing away far enough to charge the door harder. Again the door splintered and cracked. Moving further away from the door, Trent let out a loud roar and rushed the door for the third time. The hinges gave way causing his body to fall onto the chilled tile floor. 

As Trent's eyes moved up he nearly had a heart attack as he looked at what appeared to be a lifeless Sonya. Her hair hid most of her face as it leaned against the glass door. The pill bottle lay next to her body with the remnants of what she did not take.

"No. no. no. no," he scrambled towards her, pulling her out of the glass shower. 

Trent lowered his head to her face. She was still breathing; barely. Moving her to her side he said a silent prayer and then slid two fingers into her mouth.

The sound of regurgitation would normally make him vomit himself but today he welcomed the sound. Seconds later the contents of Sonya's stomach covered the tile floor. Not wasting anytime Trent picked her up and ran to the door not even stopping to put on shoes. 

His foot slipped on an area rug before he balanced himself and continued moving forward. He could feel water dripping as he moved faster towards the living room door. The lower half of her body was soaked from where she had allowed the water to fall. 

The path to the car was longer than he remembered. The crunch of gravel echoing in his ear as he finally made it to his car. The door chirped as he punched in the code on the side of his door. He always kept a spare set of keys in his glove box which his best friend had always chastised him about.

Now he was grateful he had never listened.

Once inside the car Trent typed in the programmed hospital number and waited for someone to pick up. The car peeled out of his driveway as he said a silent prayer. She had to be okay. 

"Memorial General—"

"Hello! Hello! I need someone at the ER bay in five minutes!"

"Sir? Sir, please slow down."

"She's OD'ing. I can't—please—we're on our way right now."

"Okay sir. I need you to calm down. Who is OD'ing?"

"Sonya Philips."

"And where are you right now?"

"I'm driving. We're on our way to the hospital right now."

"Do you know if she's breathing sir?"

"She's unconscious."

"And you said she OD'd?"

Why was she repeating what he had already told her?

"Yes! She took pills. I—shit," he yelled as he swerved to miss another car. The sound of a horn honking faded as his foot hit the gas pedal harder.

"What exactly did she take?"

"Does it fucking matter!"

"Yes sir, it does. Sir, I need you to calm down. I've already alerted the ER."

"We're here! Send someone out! We're here!"

Trent's body went into overdrive as he put the car and park. The door flung open just as he rounded the passenger side. A team of what appeared to be doctors stormed the vehicle softly moving him to the side. His body knew that he should stay out of the way, but his mind wanted to make sure she was taken care of. To make sure she didn't die.

"Sir, we need to get some information from you about your wife."

"She's not my wife. I need to call her mother. Shit. I—is she going to be okay?"

"We won't know that until we exam her."

"Can I see her?"

"Sir, you said you aren't her husband. Are you a brother or a relative?

Trent shook his head trying his best to keep his cool. The man in front of him wasn't answering the question. He needed to know if he could see her. He needed to know that she would be okay. 

"Can I see her?" he repeated this time with a bite of anger lacing his voice.

"I'm sorry sir, but if you're not a relative we can't allow that," the young doctor explained as Trent watched an unconscious Sonya be wheeled into the hospital.

"Sir, we do need to get in touch with her family. If you could contact them that would be a great help to us."

Trent's eyes moved back to the young man in front of him. His brown eyes held a sense of urgency in them. They told him that this needed to happen right now. With the nod of his head Trent looked back towards the bay doors feeling his resolve slowly slip.

"She was just released yesterday after a suicide attempt. I have a POA, but I agree with you. I really need to call her mother."

And with that Trent walked past the doctor and towards the nurse's station.

*****

Strong hands caressed her arm, moving slowly up only to stop at her shoulder. It worked. She was with her Sean at last. A smile transformed her face as she looked up at him. Her eyes still felt heavy but she didn't care. She was finally where she belonged. 

Sonya tried to lift her arms to touch him back but found that she couldn't. Her eyes met his with a look of confusion. That was when she realized that emerald eyes did not meet hers; sapphire ones did. Dred filled her as she thought about the implications. 

She didn't want to think about what was happening. This couldn't be happening. She wasn't alive. She couldn't be. Not after all of the shit that had happened that day. Not after she had been so close again. 

Her eyes drifted down to the padded cuffs that wrapped around her wrist, embracing her with all of their strength. A surge of pain struck her in the chest as she remembered what had happened and where she was. 

The machine attached to her arm beeped furiously at her, begging her to take deeper breaths, but she couldn't listen to it. Wouldn't listen to it. Not when it was begging her to live. Sonya's eyes moved back to Trenton and for the first time she noticed that he wasn't looking at her. Instead his eyes were on the scar that were starting to form on her wrist. 

Part of it peeked out from under her bonds, taunting him. Letting him know that he had failed.

"The bandage came off," he whispered so softly that she almost couldn't hear him. "The nurse should be coming in any second to change it."

Sonya's mouth opened to respond, but that surge of energy to her heart struck again and all that escaped was a sob. She shouldn't be feeling this hurt by his expression, but the defeat on his face was enough to break her heart. If only a little. 




Breathing Ch. 05



She slowly moved her fingers in her binds and watched as her index finger grazed his arm. For the first time since she had come to, Trenton looked up at her and she saw them. Two sets of tears slowly moved down his face one after the other, and he didn't do anything to stop them. Would they stop if he tried?

"I should be so mad at you," he whispered after he managed to clear his throat.

"Trent."

At the sound of her whisper he closed his eyes. It was the first time she had called him Trent. In the day and a half he had known her she had always been so formal in her anger. Never calling him anything other than Trenton. It made him even angrier at her. Why couldn't he just leave her there to self-destruct? At least that way she wouldn't take him with her.

"I should want to wring your neck or just leave for that matter. I didn't sign up for this shit you know?" 

The strain in his voice was evident as he cleared his throat again, "But—but I can't fucking—fuck!"

The scream ripped through the room with a thunderous roar as he stood; kicking over the chair he was sitting in. It was at that exact moment the nurse came in.

"Sir, I need you to leave."

The tremor in her voice was evident as she watched him stand above her patient. 

"No," Trent stated calmly holding Sonya's gaze.

"Sir—"

"I said, 'no'," he said firmly averting his gaze to the nurse standing in the door. "Bandage her wrist, but I'm not going anywhere."

The uneasiness on the nurse's face was evident but Trent didn't care. He wasn't going to leave her. How he wanted to just leave her here alone, but he couldn't and it was pissing him off. She'd only been with him for two days and she'd already tried to kill herself again.

And it was all his fucking fault. 

"Please," he asked taking a deep breath. "Please."

This seemed to calm the nurse down as she nodded her head and set to work disinfecting the wound on Sonya's right wrist before bandaging it up again. 

"While I'm here I might as well check her vitals too."

Trent didn't say anything, he only nodded his head and moved to the side so that he was out of the nurse's way. 

"Everything looks normal. The doctor will be in to see you shortly," the young nurse spoke to Sonya and then turned her attention towards Trent. 

"Try to keep your cool or we'll have to ask you to leave next time. No exceptions." 

And with that she looked towards Sonya again, turned around and left.

The silence in the room was palpable. It was as if it had its own heartbeat and the slow rhythm of its beat was drumming to her own. She wanted to not care that he was upset. But each time that she glanced towards him she couldn't help but want to assure him that this wouldn't happen again. But she couldn't.

He hadn't sat back down after the nurse left. Instead he opted for posting up like a statue in the corner with his arms folded. The vein in the middle of his forehead was forced forward as he glared at her from a distance.

A shot of euphoria rushed through her causing her eyes to drop down to the IV inserted in her arm. She hadn't even thought about her pain since she woke up. She wasn't even aware that it should be there. And as hard as she tried to grasp on to it and pull it back to her heart, she found that it was nowhere in sight.

Once again her eyes moved towards the statue of a man in the corner. His gaze had softened but only slightly. Shit. Sonya found that she had been saying that word a lot lately. Her hand moved involuntarily as her muscle jerked. 

She needed to say something to him, but what?

Sonya found that she didn't have to think of anything to say when Trent spoke first.

"I called your mother too. She's out in the lobby right now." 

Opening her mouth to speak for the first time since she woke up, Sonya was greeted with the worst case of cotton mouth she had ever experienced. "Water?"

Ignoring her plea Trent continued talking. "She had to be notified because even though I was granted a POA for you until tomorrow she is still your next of kin. And I didn't feel comfortable making any type of life or death decisions without her knowledge."

Sonya's eyes lowered to the padded shackle on her wrists again before she met Trent's sapphire gaze. "Water?" 

"When I'm done I'll have the nurse bring you some water. You should know, first that, I no longer have a Power of Attorney for you. As of this very moment you no longer have to see my face again. And second, neither does your mom."

"What?" 

The look of confusion on Sonya's face would have made Trent laugh if the situation wasn't so dire. It would have been comical if his heart didn't feel like she had minced it up and fed it to someone. And yet the look on her face still made him want to comfort her. But if he wanted her to get better this had to be done.

"I said neither of us has a Power of Attorney for you. I can no longer make medical decisions for you. In hindsight, I never should have been able to."

"I don't understand. What—what's gonna happen next?"

Trent unfolded his arm and moved towards her. Each step was much more menacing than the one before it. His broad shoulders slouched as he leaned forward slightly to tower over her. Sonya noticed that the tears had stopped flowing down his face, but the bloodshot appearance to his eyes were still there. She couldn't take seeing the vulnerability any more. So she closed her eyes and wished him away while secretly hoping for him to stay. 

That alone was terrifying. 

"Next, your mom is going to come in here and explain what happens."

"Why can't you just tell me," Sonya asked opening her eyes.

"Because, it's not my place. It's not my place to take over your life or give you that kind of information."

"You didn't have a problem with that before," she whispered.

A frown transformed his features so much that it was as if looking at an entirely different person. "And look where that got me," he whispered back.

"Trent—"

"You know, I'm supposed to be this hard ass exec. People at work fear me. They fear what I will say to them. They fear what I will do if they fuck up or slack off," he told her, each word getting stronger and louder as he went on.

"I'm the man who crushes dreams and could care less about anyone else's life. Especially a stranger. You may think I do this all the time," he scoffed. "But the truth is that had you been someone else bleeding on the side of the road, I would have stepped over your dying body and never looked back."

The mental picture he painted made Sonya shiver. In the short time she had known him, there was never any indication that he would be so cruel. Sure she had seen him be bossy and even seen the way he could be cold and unmoving but she also saw how he cared. The man he was describing couldn't be the same.

"And now?" he frowned again. "Now I don't even know who I am. I don't know you—but I know you. And I can't watch you do this to yourself, especially if my helping is essentially hurting you."

Sonya knew what he said was true. She had felt this uncanny connection to him since before she had met him. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she knew that it scared her beyond reason. At first glance he resembled her lost love, but when she really looked at him the similarities stopped there. So why was she so guilty?

"I'm going to go get your mom. Her and CeCe have been worried about you," Trent said as he turned to leave the room.

"Wait! Wait," she said calmer than the first outburst. "What is my mom going to do?"

Giving her a sad smile, he made a mental note of what she looked like. "What she should have done in the beginning."

And then he was gone.

***

"Therapy?!"

"Yes therapy," Theresa replied. Her daughter had just tried to take her own life for the second time in two days. She had been misguided to think that having her go with Trenton would help. When she thought about it, she knew it had been a horrible idea. 

The man had instantly reminded her of Sean, so she knew he would remind Sonya of him as well. But Theresa had reasoned with herself that the similarities were too few. That she wasn't secretly hoping that her daughter would latch on to this Sean doppelganger and snap herself out of this funk.

As her chestnut hued eyes stared into her daughters she prayed that one day she could forgive her for being so spineless and allowing Trenton to take care of her. Some good that did.

"Mother! Therapy?!"

"Yes. Therapy. You just swallowed a whole bottle of pills. If Trenton hadn't come back in to talk to you, you would be dead. I would be arranging to have your funeral right now. Do you not understand that Sonya! You could have died!"

"I want to die!" 

"Why? Because of Sean? He's dead Sonya. He's never coming back. Killing yourself is not going to reunite him and you. It'll just make you stop existing.

"Get out."

The words were whispered but there was no mistaking the anger behind them. Sonya wanted her gone and she wanted her gone that instant.

"Fine. I'll go. But not before I let you know that it took a lot of work to get you out of this place yesterday. There are no second chances when it comes to suicide Sonya."

"That's why it's called suicide, Mother."

"Sonya—," she sobbed. "You still have me and CeCe. We're still here for you. We still love you. Try taking comfort in that while you are here."

"I know that. But it doesn't make it hurt any less," Sonya whispered looking towards the door. "Where is CeCe? I thought she'd be in here with you?

"You don't get it Sonya. You tried to commit suicide twice in less than 48 hours. They'll only allow family to see you before visiting hours are up."

"Cece is family. Besides I want to go back home. When can we leave?"

"You can't," Theresa murmured.

"What?"

"I'm sure Trenton told you that he no longer has a Power of Attorney to make decisions for you. Well neither do I. You are a danger to yourself and possibly others. The doctors are keeping you here in the Psychiatric Ward until you are further evaluated by a doctor." 

"What?!"

"It's for your own good. You'll be able to talk to a professional about your problems. We've all tried to get you to open up but nothing has worked. And with the attempts, you've taken the decision out of my hands," she said to Sonya as her voice trembled. 

"I'm so sorry for the past year Sonya. I really am. But baby, it's time to let go."

"Momma—momma, don't leave me here alone," she panicked finally letting the fear she felt show. She didn't want to be left alone locked down like an animal. 

The sadness in her daughter's voice broke her heart. But she would rather have her hate her now, then bury her later. And so Theresa slowly stood up and kissed her daughter on the forehead. "I'll be back tomorrow and if the doctors think it's best for me to see you we'll talk about this some more."

"Momma, don't."

"I love you Sonny," she cried, walking into the hallway.

***

 Six Months Later 

"Does this shit look like what I asked for?!"

"Not-not exactly sir, but—"

"Let me stop you right there. I asked if this is what I asked you for and the answer is obviously no. There is no but. There is either fix this or pack your shit. Got it?"

"Got it," Randall sputtered as he grabbed the crumpled up sheets of paper and scurried away. 

Being the boss at a competitive ad agency was tougher than a lot of people thought it was. There was trying to out maneuver the competition while staying on top of the latest fashion and trends. And that was all while keeping things within a budget and making the client happy. 

So when you looked at it from all angles Trenton Sinclair did not have any room for error.

He had gotten his reputation early on in his career. Even as an intern he had made it clear that there was no room for error. He was the first one to arrive at work and the last one to leave. The firm was so impressed with him that he was hired as soon as his internship ended. Now 7 years later Trent was the best of the best at Simon, Birch, and Mitchell. 

If he played his cards right he would make partner by the end of the year. And at the age of 29 that was something to be proud of. 

The click of his shoes resonated through the quiet hall as he made his way towards his office. The sound of chatter caught his attention but instantly was dismissed when he noticed where it was coming from.

New interns.

The program normally started the first week of November but he had made the decision earlier in the year that if they had help before the holidays it would make a smoother transition. Plus having fresh eyes didn't hurt. 

Trenton didn't miss the heated looks he received from his interns nor did he miss the way each one of the young ladies leaned over to watch as he walked past them in his expensive suit. Each of them had just been hired to fulfill part of their requirements for graduation. None of them stood a chance with him, but he was sure that at least one of them would try something. And he would not so gently let them down.

Once he passed them the sound of giggling filled his ears. "Women," he muttered.

The inside of his office was decorated in Earth tones. Light browns and beiges. Most of his colleagues had imagined the inside of his office being dark and brooding. He even laughed when one of the assistants from two floors down gaped at the brighter tone the room conveyed.

The second he sat down he heard the phone ring.

"Yeah."

"Sir, your 2 o'clock is here. Would you like me to send her in?"

"2 o'clock?"

"Yes sir."

"Gloria, I don't have any appointments today."

I mentioned it to you on Monday. You had me move her to today because of the gap in your schedule, but I can always reschedule."

Monday? Trent thought back to what she was referring to and remembered that he had just gotten into a fight with Melissa. He had wanted to break up with her for months but she was a good distraction and for that reason alone he kept her around. But on that day he just couldn't put up with her anymore. 

Trent was well aware that the only reason Melissa Dunn was with him was because he was rich. Not Bill Gates rich, but he had enough money to keep him comfortable for the rest of his life. And that was all because he had worked hard for what he got.

But Melissa was the stereotypical gold digger. She didn't work, bragged to all her friends about who she had 'snagged', and tried to spend all of his money when she thought he didn't realize it. It was time for her to go.

And so when she suggested that they finally move in together Trent gave her walking papers.

Needless to say she hadn't taken that too well.

And now he was finding out that he had an appointment. He really didn't need this today.

"Sir? Do you want me to reschedule again?"

"No, it's fine Gloria. Just give me 5 minutes and then send her in."

His finger pressed the button again ending the call. "Fuck."

He had completely forgotten about the job interview. He didn't even have the applicant's information or know her name. No matter, he thought. He'd just get all that information when she came in.

As he went over what to ask her and gathered some of the notes he found on the looming appointment, he heard a loud knock on the door.

"Enter!" he yelled. His head was still down as he shuffled through a few papers that he finally stumbled across. Trent's eyes skimmed over a few lines of her resume and found that she was qualified for the job he was trying to fill.

"Your resume looks really nice. Four years at U of H and an internship with—"

The words died on Trent's lip when his eyes met with a ghost. "Sonya."

"Trenton?"

Silence lingered between the two of them as they watched each other with unreadable expressions. Trent hadn't seen or heard about her since the day he left the hospital. He thought it best to just cut off the offending part of him and that had been Sonya. A clean break was what he needed. And now she was staring him in the face.

His eyes moved down to the papers in his hand. Lifting his gaze up to the header of the paper he saw the name he had carelessly skipped over. "Sonya Philips".

When he didn't say anything Sonya took a step forward but didn't say anything. What was there to say? If it wasn't for the fact that she really needed this job she would have hightailed it out of there.

"Um. Mr. Sinclair? I'm—" 

Her voice wavered as she tried to gain her composure. "I'm, Sonya Philips. I applied for Campaign Manager position that was listed on your website."

She wasn't sure what was going on but she had to keep her cool. It had been months since she had seen him. Months of therapy. She couldn't risk it all by falling apart now. She had come in for a job interview and that was what she was going to do. 

"I have some experience in marketing and feel that I would be a great asset to your team.

"I see," he mumbled looking at her. 

When nothing else was said Sonya pulled down the sleeves of her blazer. This caught his attention and he couldn't stop the next words out of his mouth.

"You're still alive."

****

Sonya's eyes moved up to meet his. Her wide gaze held a slight glimmer of tears. The expression on his face was of shock and that hurt more than she realized. He thought she had finally succeeded in killing herself. And why wouldn't he think that? She had been very adamant in the fact that her life needed to cease.

Sonya looked away as she thought about his words. She was indeed alive. It had taken her some time, but she was slowly getting her life back on track. It was far from over for her, but the road to recovery was a long one. And she was determined to see it through. 

So when she had been given a good review and informed that they were finally releasing her into her mother's care she was happy. But after a month of her mother hovering Sonya decided it was time she put her degree to use and look for a job. For two weeks she came back with less and less hope until she saw an ad for Simon, Birch and Mitchell. 

That night she submitted her resume crossing her fingers. Two days later she received a phone call. 

 "Hello?"

"May I speak to Sonya Philips?"

"This is she."

"Hi Miss Philips. This is Gloria Richards from the Simon, Birch and Mitchell agency. We're calling about the resume you submitted this Tuesday."

The air had caught in her lungs and refused to come out as she took a seat on the bed. What was she going to say? What if she screwed up? 

She hadn't been expecting a phone interview. All the other places had asked for her to come in or sent her a letter informing her she did not receive the job. And that was if they even contacted her at all.

"Um...yes. I mean, yes, I submitted a resume for the Campaign Manager position."

"We just have a few questions to ask you if you have time."

"Of course," Sonya answered, trying her best not to stutter.

The woman on the other end cleared her throat, "The first question we have is regarding your education. It shows that you graduated from the University of Houston. What was your degree in?"

"I majored in Marketing and Communication."

"It also shows that there was a significant gap in your last year. Is there any particular reason for that?"

At the sound of her question Sonya felt all the blood drain from her face. What was she supposed to say, 'I was in a psych ward for a few months and couldn't finish on time'?

"I had a personal issue arise that prevented me from finishing school when I was supposed to. But I finished my other classes the next semester at the top of my class," Sonya amended.

I see," the lady on the phone answered. For a second it was quiet and then finally she said, "The last thing we needed to know was if you could come in for a final interview next Monday?"




Breathing Ch. 05



"Of course," Sonya answered a lot louder than she wanted to. "I'm sorry, of course I can," she smiled.

"Great. See you then."

When the same woman had called and rescheduled a day later Sonya had gotten even more nervous. What if they had found someone else more qualified? 

Now she stood in front of a man she never thought she'd ever see again. In the two days she had spent with him she had never known what his last name was. And if he had told her she was sure that in her anger she hadn't paid any attention to it. 

And she certainly didn't think he was the same Mr. Sinclair she was having a meeting with. Now she stood there in front of him trying not to cry.  You're still alive.

The statement made her cringe but at the same time she could understand. They had history. Really dark history. 

"Yes. I am still alive," she answered looking down at her hands again as she tried to pull her blazer sleeves down lower.

Following her motions closely, Trent motioned for her to have a seat. 

"I apologize. I didn't mean to sound so callous. I'm just surprised to see you here."

"Same here," she snorted but didn't move toward the chair. 

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I didn't think I was ever going to see you again. You left me locked in that place," she answered her voice getting softer towards the end of her statement.

"Sonya—"

"Does this mean I don't get the job? I mean because of...you know."

"What?"

"I didn't know I was interviewing for a job—I mean I didn't know you'd be interviewing me for this job. To be honest, I didn't think I'd ever see you again. And I've been doing better, I swear. You wouldn't have to worry about any accidents or mishaps or..."

"Sonya. Sonya. Calm down," he stopped her by grabbing her hands which she had been flailing around. 

"Let's sit down, okay?"

Sonya's eyes moved towards the chair again and then back to him. "Yeah. I'm sorry," she whispered as she followed him to his desk.

"It's just that a few of my last interviews didn't go so well. I found out a little after them that my information was available online. I guess employers don't want to hire a crazy person."

When Trent didn't say anything Sonya continued, "I was actually surprised when I got a call from this agency. It's one of the most prestigious up and coming places."

"Yes, well we try not to discriminate when it comes to employment," Trent answered finally finding his voice. He'd also have to have a little talk with Gloria afterwards.

"I appreciate you even looking at my resume. And I hope you will consider me for the job," Sonya answered trying her best to smile even though deep down inside her emotions were at war with each other.

"Yes well we will call you after we screen the remaining applicants and let you know," he answered putting on his professional voice.

"You didn't ask me any questions."

"I don't need to. Look to hear from us in the next three days. That'll be all Miss Philips."

And just like that he had dismissed her. Sonya looked at him stunned and stood to leave. She hadn't expected to see him but she also didn't think their meeting would be so abrupt. It was as if he was shoving her out of the door. 

Her eyes shifted back to his face and noticed that his jaw was locked as if he wanted to say something.

"Well thank you for this opportunity," she answered back trying her best to sound just as professional.

"Sonya, before you leave—"

"Yes," she asked with hope in her voice. Too much hope, she mentally chastised herself.

"Can you send Gloria in when you go out? We'll call you and let you know about the position," he repeated.

And then turning his back to her he silently dismissed her. The change in his demeanor threw her off but she simply nodded her head and turned to leave.

The sound of a an object hitting against the door frame caught Trent off guard. As he turned he saw that his assistant had stumbled as the door swung open. Righting her body she smoothed her skirt and gave Sonya a small smile.

"It was nice meeting you," she told Sonya as she walked past her.

"Eavesdropping Gloria," Trent tsked after the door closed.

"We'll call you? Really Trenton Sinclair?"

"Really Gloria Richards?" he mocked. "You knew who she was and you didn't warn me?"

"Warn you? So that you could tell me in no uncertain terms to stay out of it. And then refuse to hire her."

When Trent didn't say anything she sat down in the chair that Sonya had just vacated.

"Besides you saw her resume. She's qualified and has a thirst for this. She wants to learn from the best and you my dear are the best."

Trent tried his best to glare at her but he knew that she was right. He was one of the best in the business. And he did say he loved fresh talent because they had a thirst for bringing new ideas to the table. But that was before he knew one of those talents was her.

His eyes closed and he could feel the shift in the room when Gloria walked around his desk. Her greying hair was the only indication that she was old enough to be his mother. At 54 she didn't look a day over 36. 

Her olive skin told of her Italian heritage and the way that her hazel eyes lit up with such enthusiasm was testament to the fact that she was a very passionate person. So when he told her all about his missing week of work she had simply sat there and listened to him like a mother would.

When he was finished she simply told him to take a few more days off and then get back to work.

Of course she was right. After he had finished wallowing in guilt, Trent found that work was exactly what he needed. And the rest as they say is history.

"Gloria, I don't like being blindsided like that."

Gloria eyes rolled as she looked at the little boy in front of her. No matter how old he got she would always think of him that way. She had been with the company since he was a teenager and when he applied for an internship she was the person who greased the wheels for him. And voila! He was a successful ad exec. 

"Well I don't like an unhappy Trenton. 'Specially when you're with that harpy you call a girlfriend," she frowned.

At the mention of Melissa, Trent couldn't help laughing. Gloria had tried warning him but of course he wouldn't listen. Melissa was just a means to an end. He hadn't planned on actually making her his girlfriend. 

"Don't worry Glory, we broke up."

Gloria's ears perked up at the news. "Really? You're not just messing with me?"

"Really," he smiled.

A shrill scream echoed throughout the room as Gloria did a happy dance. "Ding dong the witch is dead!"

"Gloria!" he chastised her.

"Oh come off it. You know that's what she is. All that was missing was green skin and flying monkeys."

Trent couldn't hold back the laughter this time. After all her ringtone was the theme song for Darth Vader. He guessed Gloria had a good point.

"Now you can pursue Sonya," she smiled, turning and leaving before he realized what she said.

"Wait—what? Gloria, what do you have planned?" he asked the closed door. When she didn't come back in he panicked.

"Gloria?"

This was going to be a disaster. 

Not because he knew he wasn't going to hire Sonya Philips, but because he knew he was.



Breathing Ch. 06



Beep. Beep. Beep.

The sound of beeping echoed in Sonya's ears as she watched the IV slowly drain into her arm. The soft sting reminded her why she was in the uncomfortable bed to begin with. Sean. She had tried again with no success to join him once again. And once again she had failed. When she had come to in the emergency room, Sonya had tried protesting to the doctors pumping her stomach. She had already thrown up a majority of the pills but the doctor on call had told her it was better safe than sorry. 

Sonya rolled her eyes at that statement. The only thing she was sorry about was that she once again failed. 

It was now a day later and Sonya's vision was blurry from the small dose of morphine the nurse gave her to dull the pain in her wrist. When the nurse had insisted that she allow her to give the pain relief Sonya had pointed out in vain that she had overdosed on prescription pain meds not even twenty four hours earlier. This caused the nurse to pause and quickly look at her chart. The rapid movement of her eyes paused at what Sonya could only imagine was the word overdose. 

Excusing herself for a second the nurse came in moments later with a smile plastered on her face. It was obviously okay for the small dose since the other medication had left Sonya's system hours ago. Furious that she was once again subjected to instant pain relief with the finality that she searched for, Sonya simply stared at the plastic tube as the medication traveled slowly towards her vein. If anything she yearned to feel the throbbing ache that reminded her of the failure she was. Instead all she felt now was empty.

It was an emptiness that had lived within her for the past year. When Sean was alive she had seen those girls who claimed they couldn't live without someone. It was mostly when they were caught cheating. This alone made Sonya snort because obviously this new found love wasn't there before. She would never be like that she had claimed, and then the unthinkable happened and she was left without the one person in the world who completed her.

He had left her all alone in the world.

For months she had been furious with him. How could he ruin everything by being so reckless? How could he leave her there to fend off the world by herself?

How could he?

They were words that replayed in her head until one day they just disappeared. And what replaced it was a sadness so deep Sonya simply wanted it all to stop. And with every breath she took the chasm that used to be where her heart was ripped open wider. Until finally she made peace with everyone and decided it would be best to end it all. 

She wasn't afraid. She believed in an afterlife. And Sean would be waiting for her. That was a given. After all she was the light to his darkness.

"Brighter than the Sun," Sonya whispered silently.

So she had tried to end it. But the universe just had to screw up those plans too.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

If only that stupid machine would just shut up, Sonya thought as she continued staring at her bandaged wrist. The invisible liquid slowly freezing her veins as she listened to her name in the background. If only her heart could feel the same way. She'd give anything just to make the pain go away. 

"Sonya!"

Jerking into a sitting position, Sonya grabbed at her wrist like she had done on so many occasions. She blinked rapidly at the figure in her doorway standing only a few feet from her. What the hell?

"For the love of God turn off that stupid alarm clock before I beat you with it!" Cee Cee yelled before storming off. 

Alarm?

Of course it had all been a stupid dream she sighed as her eyes moved to look at the alarm in question. The crimson numbers quickly morphed into to a different number before her eyes.

6:20

"Holy shit, its 6:20!" Sonya yelled as she flung off the comforter letting it hit the ground.

"No shit," she heard down the hallway, but was too focused to respond back.

"Why'd I sleep so late?" she asked more to herself. Her eyes moved around her room as they finally landed on her dresser. She needed to get her clothes out and head over to the bathroom. Shit, she didn't know what she was going to wear. It was her first day and she was going to be late. Shit, shit, shit.

"Sonya! Turn off that damn alarm!"

"Right. Alarm," she muttered as she shut off the alarm, finally stopping the nagging sound. Her eyes flickered towards the threatening numbers once again. 6:23.

Today was her first official day working with Trenton. The same Trenton who had been so cold to her the last time they spoke. The thought of seeing him every day made her throat tighten as she stopped in front of her bedroom door. Could she do this knowing he would only see the old her?

The broken and slightly suicidal Sonya.

Slightly, the voice in her head snorted. Sonya didn't miss that voice, but it was always there when she needed to beat herself up about something. Always there to remind her of the failure she once was. That and the scar that graced her wrist. 

There was no time to think of that now. As she grabbed a towel and ran towards the bathroom. She passed a furious Cameron, quickly shouting an apology as she slammed the door. 

Sonya's thoughts once again ran away from her as she wondered what kind of boss Trenton would be. Would he treat her like any of the new interns or personal assistants he had in the past? She sure hoped so. It was already bad enough he had seen her at her lowest. She wanted her work to stand out for being exceptional and not seen as a basket case who was capable of falling apart at the sign of a broken nail.

A knock on the door brought her out of her thoughts as Cee Cee yelled at her that she was going to be late as well if Sonya didn't hurry up.

"Shit," Sonya muttered.

There was no time to savor the shower so she made sure all the appropriate areas got attention and then hurried through the dressing process. By the time she made it to her car it was already 6:40.

She only had twenty minutes to make it to work.

"Shit," she whispered as she put her car in reverse.

Twenty eight minutes later Sonya swerved into an empty parking spot and jumped out of her car.

"Shit! Shit, shit, shit," Sonya cursed as she stumbled from her car. Her steps faltered as she threw on her heels and ran towards the door of Simon, Birch and Mitchell. 

She was late for her very first day of work. It wouldn't look good for her to walk in looking a mess and also late, but she was in a hurry and she didn't want to keep Trenton waiting another second. Especially with their past the way it was. Sonya didn't need another reason for him to fire her.

As her heels clicked on the hardwood floor she rushed towards the elevator, throwing a frantic hello to the receptionist on the lobby floor. The blonde simply smirked as she talked to a customer on her headset. Stepping inside the elevator Sonya stalled for a second. What floor was she on? Shit. 

"Twelve!" she yelled while pressing the button. She talked to herself the entire way which didn't help the strange stares she was receiving. 

The elevator doors opened revealing a neutral grey accompanied by a dark chocolate tone along the walls. An array of flowers littered the window as they overlooked the view. There's no way she would have so many flowers but they did give the area a warmer feel, which Sonya suspected the designer wanted.

Not taking another second to stop and admire the foliage, Sonya walked down the short hall towards her boss's office. It wasn't until she noticed Gloria inside the break room that she stopped. Wait. If Gloria was Trenton's personal assistant already then what would she be assisting him with?

"Miss Philips?" 

"Yes?" She questions as her thoughts were successfully interrupted. 

"You know you can go inside, right?" Gloria smiled.

"Inside? You mean his office?"

Laughter floated towards her ears as she looked down at the older woman. What could she possibly be laughing at? That was a legitimate question.

"Yes, inside his office. Didn't Trent tell you that you were going to be working closely with him while he mentored you?"

"No!" Sonya yelled before clearing her throat and calmly answering again. "I mean no."

This only made Gloria's smile widen further. Sonya wanted to ask what she was smiling for but before one of the many questions she had this morning could be broached a loud timber was heard throughout the entire floor.

"Who the hell parked in my spot?!"

Gloria's smile slowly disappeared as she looked at Sonya who only shrugged and turned back to look at a troubled Gloria. She completely ignored where the voice had come from, but couldn't help turning back towards the door as she heard the click of his shoes.

As he walked past the two women in the break room, Sonya couldn't help but take in his appearance. His brown hair looked perfect as it lay slicked down against his head. The grey suit only bringing out the sapphire tone of his eyes. But right now the murderous look on his face made her shudder. But not out of fear. Out of what?

When no one answered Trenton chuckled. Chuckled!

"If the yellow beat up VW bug is not gone in five minutes I'm having you towed and then fired!"

At the sound of the description of her car Sonya quickly walked into the hallway only to be confronted with the bluest eyes. Only they were attached to an angry Trenton Sinclair.

"You!" he yelled while pointing a finger at her. When she didn't move he simply gritted out between clenched teeth, "Come."

That four letter word snapped her out of her trance. What was she a dog?

"Now wait a minute..."

"Miss Philips move your ass now!" he gritted out before turning and walking towards his office.

Sonya's frown deepened as she slowly walked toward Trenton. His mouth set in a deep scowl as she rolled her eyes at him. The whispers began immediately as she turned the corner to follow him. Sonya's eyes wandered over Trenton's back as she watched the material of his suit jacket contort to his body. Had he always be so muscular?

The question lingered in her head as she almost ran into the aforementioned back. As her head popped up she was once again greeted with smoldering sapphire orbs. The sensible part of her was screaming that she should be afraid. But her stubborn nature wouldn't allow her to cower before him. So when she didn't back down he grabbed her arm and pushed her into his office, but not before seeing the huge smile on Gloria's face.

As Sonya heard the faint sound of the lock being engaged she turned and defiantly placed her hands on her hips.

Trenton's back stayed facing her as he counted to five. He needed to calm down immediately but when he turned and saw her posture his anger sky rocketed.

"Sonya," he paused to take a much needed deep breath.

"Trenton," she mocked.

"I need you to find out who is parked in my spot," Trenton spoke callously as he walked towards his desk.

When she didn't say anything Trenton pressed a button on his phone and said, "Do it."

The sound of his voice caused her to snap out of her trance. This man couldn't still have this effect on her after all this time. No, she wasn't feeling anything for him but disdain right now.

"Since you seem to be incapable of helping you are dismissed for the day Miss Philips."

Shit. She needed to speak up and now.

"See the thing about finding the person is that—the person is me," she whispered the last part partially hoping he hadn't heard her.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"So technically I already found the person who parked in your spot."

"Why are you parked in my spot?" he asked as he rubbed his temples.

"Are you sure it's even your spot?"

"Yes, I am."

"There was no sign with your name on it."

"Actually there is. Especially since it's in the executive parking lot."

"Executive parking lot...shit."

"Shit indeed," he smirked at her use of the expletive.

"I see you still love that word."

"I didn't mean to say that. And I'll move my car now sir," she responded trying her best to be professional.

"No need," Trenton finally said.

"Really?"

"Really," he paused. "I already had it towed."

"What?!"

"It was technically an unauthorized vehicle," he said as he walked around her to sit behind his desk.

"Then what was all that about giving a chance to move my car or else I'd get fired?!"

"Well you're not fired," he mused.

Sonya stared at Trenton with her mouth open as she looked down at some papers on his desk. When he realized she was still there he looked up with a bored expression.

"You can leave now."

"You. Son. Of. A.--"

"Watch the next word you say or you might actually get fired after all."

"Fuck. You," she yelled as she turned to storm out. It wasn't until it wouldn't budge that she remembered it was locked. But none of that mattered as strong arms wrapped around her body and effortlessly picked her up.

"What are you doing? Put me down you heartless bastard."

Which is exactly what he did, only it was on his desk. Sonya's body heaved as she took in deep breaths.

"The last time you said those words to me you OD'd on pain pills," he rasped against her ear. "So I suggest you choose your words carefully next time."

"I'm not going to kill myself over you or this," Sonya gasped.

"I don't know that," he gritted out as his face moved so he could look into her eyes.

"Hey Trenton. Fuck you."

She wanted to scream but a sob escaped instead. How dare he fucking go there?

"Sonya," he started but couldn't think of anything that could take away the sting of his words. Slight movement made his eyes shift down to find her pulling down the sleeve of her blazer.

"Sonya. I'm an asshole," he whispered as he brought her face to his chest.

Not putting up a fight, Sonya collapsed into Trenton finally allowing the sobs to take over her body. She was never going to escape the past no matter how hard she tried.

A hand pushing a loose strand of hair away from her face made her move away from the stone wall that was his body.

Tears stained her face as she looked up into his eyes. Six months ago she would have instantly thought of Sean, but she knew that this was someone different all together. And that scared her even more because this time she couldn't put her attraction to him on anything else.

As the two continued to stare into each others eyes they are brought back to reality by the sound of Trenton's intercom.

"Sir, your meeting with Ms. Luciano starts in fifteen minutes. Would you like me to reschedule?"

Not taking his eyes off Sonya he moved his hand towards the phone on his desk.

"Yeah Gloria. Do that. I have unfinished business to attend to."

"Yes sir," she answered cheerfully. 

****

The ride on the elevator was eerily quiet as Sonya stood there with Trenton's hand pressed against her back. Ever since her meltdown he hadn't taken his hands off of her. It was really starting to make her uncomfortable.

"Mr. Sinclair, where are we going?"

"Let's table the Mr. Sinclair. When we are alone you can call me Trent. As much as I like when you call me Trenton, Trent is just fine."

"I don't think that's a good idea Mr. Sinclair."

Taking a step closer he asked, "And why not."

"Because you're my boss and it's unprofessional," Sonya answered as she straightened her back and moved away from his touch.

"After everything that happened in my office we are way past being professional," Trenton stated glancing at her stern expression.

When she didn't respond he turned towards the elevator doors and pressed the stop button. The elevator jerked slightly as the emergency lights came on.

"What are you doing?!"

"Getting your attention."

"Mr. Sinclair, you have my full attention. Now please start the elevator."

"Not until you call me Trent," he answered folding his arms.

"You can't be serious," Sonya exclaimed looking at him as if he had grown a second head.

"You know after ten minutes of being immobile the fire department gets notified. I'd hurry before that happens," he replied as he took a step towards Sonya.

"Mr. Sinclair—"

"Seven more minutes," he interrupted as he closed the distance she had created between them. The scent of his cologne filling her nostrils as she craned her head back to look at him.

"Why are you being so damn stubborn?"

Smiling he leaned down until his mouth barely touched her ear and whispered, "I learned it by watching you."

"Urgh!" Sonya growled as she pushed him away from her.

"Five minutes. Wow time flies huh?"

"You just said seven!"

"Did I?" he smiled looking down at his wrist. "Three more minutes."

"You're bluffing," Sonya surmised and she too folded her arms over her chest. Two could play this game.

Thirty minutes later...

"Told you so," Trenton smiled triumphantly as the fire department arrived to let them out of the now locked elevator.

"You're right. You are an asshole," she frowned as she quoted their earlier conversation.

"Is it really that difficult to say my name?"

Turning to face him she simply nodded. "Yes."

Walking off leaving a confused Trenton behind.

***

Not sure what just took place Trenton thanked the fireman and then proceeded to follow Sonya outside. The noise from the busy street drowned out the words she was yelling into her phone as he neared her. The only words he did make out were "towed" and "asshole". Coming to a stop next to her Trenton quickly removed the phone from her ear to hear someone swearing on the other end.

"Screw him chica," the familiar voice finished.

"Hi to you as well Cameron," Trenton spoke into the phone.

"Trenton is that you? How can you have her car towed? I have the right mind to come over there and kick your ass. I don't care how sexy it is."

"Sexy huh?"

"Where's Sonya? I'm done with you," she asked dismissing him.

"Well if you must know, I am taking her to get her car. Yes."

Silence.

"Of course," he said followed by more silence. "Seven o'clock is fine. See you then."

"What was that? What's happening at eight o'clock?"

"Well first she said and I quote, 'If you hurt her again I'll make sure they never find your body' end quote. And then she told me to bring you back no later than six thirty because we were having dinner at seven."

"We? Is she drunk?!" Sonya yelled. She wasn't having dinner with him.

"Possibly," Trenton replied. "Now let's go get your car. We have a lot to discuss."

****

The ride to the towing company was eerily quiet. Neither Trenton nor Sonya made any effort to speak, which was fine with Sonya. Her blood still boiled from even having to go get her car from Maxwell's Towing Inc. The array of cars passing by temporarily quieted the fury she had and before she knew it Sonya had fallen into a deep sleep.

Moments later the gentle hum of the foreign Maybach disappeared and Sonya was awaken from her peaceful sleep. As she rubbed her eyes she noticed that the tow yard looked a lot like a car dealership. It wasn't until she looked at the name on the sign that she finally realized it was one.

"Um. I thought we were going to my car," she finally spoke up still looking at the sign that said Maxwell Towing and Auto Dealership. Was that even possible?

"I did take you to your car," he finally spoke up removing the keys from the ignition. "Max is waiting for us inside."

Removing her seatbelt, Sonya quickly got out of her side and followed Trenton up a set of stairs to an empty office. Inside looked a lot like a doctor's office lobby would. It was in one word, fancy.

"Yo, Max!" Trenton yelled.

"Is that you Sinclair?" yelled an equally loud man.

Emerging from the back was the largest man Sonya had ever seen. He had to be a least seven feet tall.

"6'10" actually," he laughed.




Breathing Ch. 06



"Oh my god. Did I say that out loud?"

"Yeah, but it's okay," he laughed. 

"Is this the owner you called about?" he asked turning to Trenton.

"Yeah," Trenton nodded.

"She looks calmer than I expected her to be after you explained the situation."

"She doesn't know," he answered.

"Damn man. Maybe I should come back after you tell her," the larger man laughed.

"She is in the room," Sonya finally spoke up getting quickly agitated at both men. "What don't I know? Tell me what?" 

When she got no answer from either man she stepped forward and spoke to Max.

"How much is it to get my car out?"

"Sinclair?"

"Why are you asking him? It's my car. I'm prepared to pay the fees. Just tell me the amount."

However, once again Max diverted his attention to Trenton.

"The thing is," Trenton began. "You aren't getting that car back."

"What? Of course I'm getting my car back. I have money to pay for it to come out of his lot."

"See. About that. I kind of traded it in for a newer car when I was on the phone earlier."

Sonya stared at her boss for what felt like forever and then the unexpected happened. She began to laugh hysterically.

"Sinclair?" Max asked beginning to worry.

"I thought—" laughed Sonya. "I thought you said you traded my car in for a newer one," she laughed even harder.

"Are you okay? Stop laughing."

"I can't because that can't be what you said. Especially since it's not your car to trade," she continued laughing.

"Here are your new keys," Max said handing them to Sonya whose laughter slowly began to fade.

"It's the newest Nissan Pathfinder," Trenton spoke up.

"Where's my car?" Sonya asked Max.

"Out back."

"And how much is it to get out?"

"Sonya, I just told you—" Trenton began.

"And I'm rejecting your offer. I'm not some gold digger or whatever you are used to. You can't just buy me with a new car," she fumed.

Turning back towards the larger man she gritted her teeth. "Max?"

"Um. The thing is ma'am, I can't give you your car."

With those words the only thing Sonya saw was red and for the first time that day hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

****

By the time the two made it to Sonya's she was even angrier. After asking Max why he couldn't give her car back Sonya had to listen to him explain how she was driving an unsafe ar. That he couldn't in good conscience release it unless it was being towed to a certified mechanic.

"What happened to it being 'traded in'," she asked using air quotes.

"We gave fair market value for the condition it was in and applied that amount to your new vehicle," he explained smoothly.

"My brand new Pathfinder? I can't even afford payments on that."

"Already taken care of," Max explained.

"By who?"

"By me," Trenton announced.

Sonya was more than aware that there were a few issues with her baby, but she'd be damned if she let Trenton Sinclair buy her a new car. She had driven to work just fine. After a heated debate Max agreed to allow her to take it if she had it towed straight to his mechanic. This only started a new argument between her and Trenton who simply wanted to be done with the rusted out thing all together.

Now at five fifteen the two were pulling up in Trenton's ridiculously expensive car which came to a halt effortlessly and even spoke to them.

"Show off," Sonya muttered as she watched the spot where her beat up VW used to sit. She had lost the battle but the war was far from over if he thought she would accept that new monstrosity.

"Are you going to get out?"

"Are you still having that giant gas guzzler delivered today?" Sonya fired back.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"You needed a reliable vehicle Sonya."

"I have one," she huffed.

"No you don't Sonny."

"Don't call me that," she frowned.

Sighing Trenton exited the vehicle, leaving an angry Sonya inside.

*****

Sonya, you're here early," CeeCee gasped.

"Well, I do live here too you know," she huffed as she flopped down on the couch.

This was the first time Trenton had been back in this apartment. His eyes wandered towards where the bathroom was located. Her body laying limply in the crimson water as her best friend stood motionless by the door. Half an hour later and she wouldn't be here he thought as a pain pierced his heart.

"You okay Trent," Cee Cee asked placing a hand on his shoulder.

"What? Oh, yeah. That's been happening a lot lately. Just heartburn," he smiled while rubbing his chest.

"Oh. Okay," Cee Cee frowned.

"Sonya, why are you so quiet? Speaking of quiet, I didn't hear your car pull up."

A groan escaped Sonya's lips.

"What? What'd I say?"

"Ask...HIM!" she yelled pointing at Trenton before getting off the couch and going towards her bedroom.

"Trent?"

"I might have bought her a new car," he shrugged.

"Say what now?" 

"I know! I know. I actually don't know when I think about it. One minute I'm mad at someone for parking in my spot. Then I find out it's her car after I've towed it and say some pretty dumb, no not dumb, heartless things which made her cry."

Trenton paused for a second.

"I forgot how much it kills me to see her cry. The next thing I know, I'm asking for my valet to get my car and buying her a new one."

Silence.

"That's crazy right? But I refuse to take it back. I stand by my decision."

Silence.

As he turned towards Cee Cee he could see her face turning red.

"You made her cry," she whispered.

"I didn't mean to. I'd never hurt Sonny on purpose. She's the light to my darkness."

A gasp left Cee Cee's mouth as she took a step towards Trenton. 

"What did you just say?"

"When?"

"She's what? Where'd you hear that?"

"Nowhere. It just pops into my head whenever I'm down or she's upset."

"My—my brother used to say that about her all the time," she whispered.

"Oh."

There was more silence before Cee Cee looked him in the eye and said, "Don't say that to her. It took so long for her to accept his death. And the fact she can even be around you is a miracle in itself."

"Okay. I won't," Trenton said as his eyes moved towards the direction Sonya had gone.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Fire away," he answered, his eyes never leaving the direction Sonya had disappeared to.

"Trent?"

"Hmm?"

"You're not listening to me," Cee Cee huffed.

Finally turning to look at her, Trenton gave a half-hearted smile, "I'm sorry. Can you repeat the question?"

"What do you want with Sonny? I mean it's been months since anyone has heard from you and now you're buying cars and quoting a dead man's words," she said as she whispered the last part.

"I don't know about quoting a dead man's words," he frowned. "All I know is that when she is around I just need to make sure she's happy. And when she's not happy neither am I."

"That's crazy."

Turning back towards Sonya's room he simply sighed. "Tell me about it."