1 comments/ 7535 views/ 2 favorites As The Petals Fall By: xxChellaBellaxx Chapter One: January 18th, 1964 The sky over the hills held the color of amber rose as Vixen looked out the front window of her apartment. She placed a hand on her hip, leaning her side into the wall as she assessed the towering structures stretching up high across from her building. As her finger set on her lip, she traced around it, pondering the sullen thoughts inside her head. Colorado was always beautiful this time of year. With fall & winter there came a cool breeze that often lingered for the entire season. It constituted one of the few times she really appreciated living there. The reflection of the sunset made it seem even more magnanimous as it beamed off of the glass framed buildings, sending a shimmer of light throughout the darkening city. A week ago, that same color, mixed with the seasonal chill in the brisk air would have brought a small smile to her lips. It would have served as a reminder that somewhere out there in that great big world; so highly visible from her seven story walk up. Someone yearned for her. It may have even made her blush with the thought. "Gorgeous." She would have said softly. But not today. Today, there was no joy, or smiling. None at all. No soft redness of crimson to lift her spirits as it radiated through her cheeks. Vixen removed her hand from her lip, only to place it onto the curtains hanging neatly beside the glass. Deep in thought, she began to finger with the seams of the heavy fabric. This was not right. She felt completely alone, and that was not a place she liked to visit too often. As the sun continued to set beyond the hustle & bustle of the city, it seemed to trap her tonight. She knew that no matter where she went, there was no place she could go where she could escape her own mind. Besides, running away from things was never her forte`. Taking her hand from the curtain, Vixen turned from the window. "To Hell with it." she thought bitterly. "To Hell with him...To Hell with it all." Tying a silk headscarf to rest over top of her spirals, she drew nearer to the couch inside her small apartment, she couldn't help but to feel increasingly agitated as the realization came to mind that in her twenty-one years of life, she had only taken this kind of risk once before, and the fact that she had actually trusted she wouldn't get hurt this time, was what really egged her the most. Angered by the thought, she began searching her sofa for the small paper box that meant easy comfort. "C'mon, where are you ya damn thing." she grumbled at herself in frustration, her hands seemed to search more sporadically the more annoyed she got. A few stray curls escaped her bandanna, splaying over the roses that were artfully stitched into it's design. They came to rest beside her cheeks, irritating her more. Finally, she felt her anger bubble back down as her fingers traced over something small wedged in the crack. "Hah!" Picking one of the cigarettes' from her pack, she placed it to her lips and set it aflame. "Victory." she muttered sarcastically to herself, trying ever so hard to blur the hateful thoughts that just kept drawing to mind. She'd been through heart aches before, and not necessarily from men alone. She even came to expect it over the years. So much ,in fact, that she now felt immune. It was nothing new to her. So why was she so pissed at the fact that another one had fucked it all up? Maybe it had something to do with the fact that this man wasn't just "another one" come and gone from her life. This man, was a friend, and a longtime one at that. Beginning a slow pace around her living room, she ranted on to herself as she puffed down nicotine. "How could he do that to me?! After knowing me this long; After all he's seen me go through...Hell, after all we've gone through together! How could somebody just say 'screw it' after all that, not only to a lover, but to someone they supposedly care for in general?" So many questions raced. To her, it just didn't add up. Sure, Vixen would agree that trying to turn an old friendship into a new romance wasn't an easy transition to make. She would also agree that dating a friend at all wasn't the smartest move in the world either, especially given the fact that this in particular friend wasn't even supposed to be associating with her to start with. Normally, that would be a huge No-No in her personal rule book. It had been a while since the last time she'd felt crazy enough to jump on the stupid train, but with him, it was as if he blew a whistle only she could hear, calling her to catch the ride. Vixen couldn't help but to conceive the idea that she'd be more than willing to try, especially if he was the conductor. It seemed she could never escape the rush of feelings that were brought on whenever he came around. Soon enough, she became addicted to it. As time passed, those undeniable feelings turned into an undeniable want, then slowly but surely, that undeniable want turned to an unquestionable need. No matter how hard she fought it internally, she only craved him more and more. She just couldn't help herself. And recently, it became clear that she was not alone in that. Even at the beginning of the five years they had known each other, she couldn't help but feel her heart leap with excitement whenever Gregory Barrot's gaze turned upon her, or for that matter, escape the agonizing feeling of jealousy when it did not. Who was she kidding? By the end of year one, she was hooked. If not by the first day or two. As soon as he walked through her doorstep in all of his muscular, 'brown-haired blue-eyed' perfection asking to use a phone after a breakdown on the wrong side of town, it would be fair to say that she immediately felt there was some sort of a difference in him compared to other guys or even people in general that she had met in her time. As much as she would try to convince herself otherwise, she just couldn't conquer the rush of lust and emotion that would hit her when they touched, even the slightest bit. The warm twinge that arose in her gut when his intense blue pools met her almond haze never ceased to send a shockwave down to the unmentionable places quivering inside her body. There was no hiding from herself the feeling that every time he'd reach for a hug goodbye, she'd secretly be hoping that hug would turn into a kiss. In a lot of ways, it felt a lot like what most people would call 'love'. Only thing was, she didn't believe in love. Or at least, love never believed in her. To Vixen, love was just a silly game people played that always ended up putting one or the other into tears, and after all she'd be through in life alone, that was something she definitely wanted no part in. "No thank you. You can keep all that." She'd kid whenever a friend would tease her about the possibility of becoming serious with someone. Then, after getting in a quick laugh, she'd finish off with "Just leave the fun parts for me."; Following the line with a wink. "You're hopeless Vix." They would jokingly retaliate. "We'll find out who has the last laugh about it. Just wait, one day, one day it'll happen. And when it does we'll be laughing our asses off with I-told-you-so's." As it would turn out, the joke was on them. Now that she had actually considered becoming an item with someone, she wasn't laughing at all, and neither was anybody else. In fact, she wished she'd never consider it at all, especially not with him. Yet she just couldn't manage to get the stupid memories out of her head. She would rather die than admit it to anyone, but secretly, inside herself, she didn't want to. Instead, she didn't fail to keep tracing them over and over in her brain, hoping to somehow engrave them in, and at the same time, scratch them out of the cold stone on which they were written. She remembered the way it felt when he held her. Like it was their own little bubble where the outside world was banned from contact. There was one memory in particular she just couldn't shake, one of her favorites. -The sun shone brightly through sheer white curtains as sunrise kissed the tangled parts of their skin, swirling them together like a mix of caramel and honey milk. It danced upon their hair, lighting up the room, along with any possible darkness that still lingered. It was an absolutely picturesque scene. Everything was so beautiful, and her eyes weren't even open yet. "How could a single moment have such a stupid lasting impact?" Vixen wondered while thinking of this. She remembered the intense, tingly feeling that rose within her body as she felt the point of something touch her lower backside, and how it only grew hotter when she instinctively pressed back against it. Around her waist, a firm yet tender grip tightened, bringing her closer to an embodiment that felt to her more like a warm, strong wall rather than another human physique. It all felt so good. Her eyes fought to keep closed, to make the moment last a little longer, just a smidge more, and she would be contented. Another rush of delicious warmth ran through the lower part of her body as she felt Greg's frame press close to hers once again, this time a bit more powerfully, hinting at desire inside the action. Leaning his head in a tad closer, he planted a kiss on her shoulder that set all her senses on high, sending a heat wave of arousing shivers rushing down her spine. It seemed to be bring out a sort of animistic quality in her femininity that she had never experienced before, not like this anyway. Normally, she wouldn't have let herself get all wrapped up in one feeling for too long. That was dangerous. That's the thing that sucks about feelings that nobody tells you, but everybody knows. Feelings are just that, feelings. And they can always get hurt. She realized this. But yet she found herself yearning to bathe in the luscious feeling of his manhood pressed against her. She wanted to wrap herself up in the ribbons of ecstasy he gave her, and stay there forever. She turned herself over, looking to face him. The sun shot into her hazel gaze, momentarily blinding her before catching itself on her normally dark curls. As she moved, the rays brought to light a crisp auburn touch in the spiral strands that seemed to match the autumn scenery outside. When her vision returned, she'd never be more glad for the sight that lay before her. All muscle, all men, all hers...Or so she thought. She shook her head as another pointless memento of their time together entered her thinking space... "I'm sorry Vix. I really am. I just....I didn't mean for things to get this far. You know that as well as I do right?" Gregory's words, though meant innocently, came harsh to Vixen's ears. No, they hadn't meant for things to go this far, but they had. Now they had that nagging question to answer; what was to come next? What did she want anyway? It's not like they were 'destined' or something of that nature. In her mind, they were just two friends who happened to be attracted to one another...On a not-so-safe level. With times being the as hard as they were now, what was she even thinking? Women of color were already dealt with the short end of the stick in life, and being a woman of mixed race didn't make things any easier. As a matter of fact, it actually tended to make them worse, but here she was, willing to tip the scale even lower over this man, a white man. She pondered that thought for a moment, silently wondering, for what seemed like the billionth time in her existence, what it was that made the whites so hateful towards them. What was it hid under their skin that was so exquisite they were under the impression it would melt away if they touched? Shrugging away the irrelevant questions, she tried to focus herself. In the reality she was living in, it was impossible. That was her problem, never ceasing to go beyond boarders, believing there was a silver lining in every situation. It's how she got by in life. However, Vixen was also a realist, and the last time she believed in a true 'happily ever after' ending, she was eight. They'd meet up behind closed doors....they'd meet up behind those doors a few times...And it just so happens that what took place behind those doors was deemed obscene by most in the outside world. So what? Vixen crossed her arms around her torso looking him up and down. She may not have had the most experience in dealing with relationships of this nature, but they had hooked up, more than once...More than twice, and regardless of whether it was intended to come this far or not, she had a feeling that that meant something. "Look at Vix, I love ya, I really do...But what are we doin' right now? Can you really see it goin' any farther than this?" His hand gestured at the space between them, temporarily filling the gap; A grieving look permeating his demeanor. Vixen tried in vain to not mirror the look back at him, but this was just way too much right now. What was she thinking, of course this moment was bound to occur. So it was high time to wake up from that all-to perfect dream and accept the cold reality that lay before her. Bringing her eyebrows to rest calmly above her almond shaped eyes, her face went hard, her normally stunning caramel-brown features tight with remorse. She even managed to raise one brow a bit higher than the other, giving off a signature look that was used, often on a daily basis, to get by in society. Even as a child, it didn't take Vixen long to realize that public life wasn't particularly comfortable when she was hated by the majority of the population on contact. As she grew, she also realized that it might be wise to have a primary defense. The book read, among other things, all strength and fierce independence. And she meant it. She didn't need any of this. And come Hell or High water, she would let him know that. Where she came from, Vixen Virginia Wright did the heartbreaking, not him. He wanted to break it off (whatever 'it' was), fine, it was off. Hell, she'd even beat him to the punch. But she would be damn sure to let him in on her side of the story line as well. "I don't know." She began. "I have no idea where any of this is going, or if it's even going anywhere at all for you. Maybe we should've never acknowledged whatever it is between us Greg. That's obviously what you wish." She paused, a bit of hurt welling her throat, causing her voice to waver the tiniest bit. Pushing it back, she continued on. "But I'll tell you one thing, I, for one, have never been happier than when this whole thing started." Vixen couldn't believe the words had come from her own lips as Greg's face took on a different feature, a look of surprise. Deciding that maybe her heart was onto something for once, she elaborated. "Gregory, Tell me something. Just one thing, then I'm through with all this... If you had the chance to go back, meeting me, our friendship, the affairs, does all of it over again...Would you?" Greg looked at her with a conflicted expression, his saddened gaze communicating all that his mouth couldn't find the words to say. Tears brimmed the exit areas of Vixen's eyes. Even if he said yes to a certain situation over another, if the question had been asked to her, she wouldn't have had to pause that long. With her voice on the edge of tittering again, she parted her lips to speak. Only, he spoke first. "None of it." With Greg's gaze locked firmly on the ground, his facial expression held an array of emotions, but not one that implicated a lie. Vixen felt her heart stop as it was ripped from her torso. Until now she found it difficult to believe that she could grow any colder when it came to men. She was mistaken. She had no words to say to this. In truth, after an answer like that, there was nothing to be said. So with the small amount of pride that she still possessed within herself, she nodded her head slightly before turning from him. She would not allow herself one measly ounce of pity from him, and if he caught sight of the small amount of water faintly accumulating within her dark eyes, she knew it would come automatically. As she started towards the sidewalk, she felt a grip lock onto her wrist, stopping her short. "Vixen, please, understand. I only say that because I know it would've been better for both of us if it had never started. I really am sorry." Gregory watched her now, awaiting a response. His face gave off a look of distant perplexity, almost as if he were second guessing his own words. "If I could change the way the world works, I'd do it faster than anyone could see. Believe me." He was standing in front of her now, bringing her hands to rest on his. They were nearly as close as they'd been in the privacy of the small room they occupied in the beginning of their meetings. God...How many blissful hours were spent in that cabin; hiding from the world as they endlessly exploring each other's boundaries? They were countless by now... Vixen shut her eyes for a moment before grudgingly reopening them, immediately bringing her gaze to rest on the grass beneath their feet. A sharp breeze blew overhead in the night sky, adding a subtle chill to the air. In the past, Sunset Park had normally been a place she liked to come to forget things. Even it's name meant renewal, but where would she go now that there was a memory so bitterly formed in her safe haven that she didn't even want to think about coming back? Just as she was about to bring her sight back to him, something caught her foot. Naturally startled, she jolted before swiftly turning her attention back to the ground, intent on discovering the cause of her miniature heart attack. Reaching down, she retrieved a tattered page from the local times. Within it was a photograph of three well dressed white men who appeared to be walking out of a courthouse, accompanied at the rear by a small, stout man wearing a pair of thick-rimmed glasses. Vixen could only assume he was their lawyer. As she glanced over the top line, a knot caught in her throat. 'No Justice For Local Mob Lynching: Suspects Walk Free After Negro Boy Is Hung From Tree In His Own Yard' Composing herself, she fought to push all the former images away. She was living in the present, and that was where her head needed to be right now. Focusing her attention back to Gregory, Vixen met his heart-wrenching gaze with one of her own. It was evident that he showed remorse, but it was also clear that there was no budging his decision. With that in mind, she knew there was nothing more to discuss after they parted ways here. So she might as well get what needed to be said out in the open before that woeful moment came. "You may be content to live your life according to 'how the world works', but you and I live on two separate sides of the fence Gregory. You say that you would change the world, change the way it all goes for us? Well for me, that change has already happened. It's here, regardless if others wanna see it or not. You, me, even as standing here right now, we're fighting it; changing things." Vixen's eyes held a pained expression as they briefly traveled back to the news clipping; still gripped tightly in hand."Change is inevitable." Her expression grew slightly bitter as she mentioned this adolescent memory. "You told me that." "You used to say that it could either go one of two ways, remember? The right direction, or the wrong direction." She bit her lips together in an attempt to hide the emotions that ran through her. This whole situation was just plain insanity. It was hard to accept this type of conversation was even taking place between them. Shrugging it off with a gentle shake of her head, she pressed on. "And sooner or later, it's only a matter of time before the rest of them realize that this..." Holding up the article, a reluctant tear trickled down her heart-shaped cheek before landing itself on her coat as she finished. "...This is not right." As The Petals Fall Gregory eyed the image of the three men walking gleefully to freedom. A troubled look slowly making its way into his features. He glanced up, piercing Vixen with a sorrowful stare as she began to talk once more. "I'm sorry for the way the world is. Trust me, I know as well as anyone else how cruel things can be out here. But I refuse to conform to the rules of a system that is far beyond broken." Crumpling up the torn page, she tossed it aside in disgust. "I don't know Greg, you may not understand, maybe you never will, but I have no other choice but to." "The whole globe is against us Vixen!" He suddenly exploded. The frustration built up in the tense moment finally unleashing itself as he went on. "How are we supposed to fight that?!" Vixen felt a twinge of resentment creep up in her gut, who was he to lose his cool when it was he who first acted on impulse anyhow? As far as she was concerned, from the first time he'd brought his lips to hers he had wholeheartedly decided that whatever this was between them, was worth going through Hell for. "Well, forgive me for assuming if you ever really cared about me at all, that it would at least be worth a try!" As Gregory turned to walk a small circle, anger flooded through him. Almost unconsciously, he brought the ball of his foot up to collide with the trashcan set by the end of the tunnel. Running his hands roughly through his short dark hair, he calmed his attitude, fixing Vixen a meaningful glance as his hands came to rest around the firm of his waste. "I'm only one man Vix," He held his arms up in submission. "How am I supposed to do this huh? How am I supposed to fix something this big?" His voice took on an unusual tonality as he said this, sounding almost forlorn. Walking across to a nearby bench, he seated himself, letting his sunken head drift forward with the rest of his body as his hands molded their way into fist-form, propping them up beneath head. A few tufts of hair fell over Gregory's face as he motioned to speak again. His vocal cords taking a more destitute sound. "How am I supposed to fight the world?" Vixen approached him warily, giving herself time to assess the intensity of his worry. As she neared him, she slid a palm under his chin, raising his boyish gaze to hers. They watched each other for a few moments, their expressions somber. Neither one of them truly knew what to say, or if anything more could even be stated at all in this point. He was right in a way. How could they fight society for something so dangerous when the part of society that mattered politically would never agree with them on it? Before her mindset could catch up with her actions Vixen brushed the smooth locks away from his eyes. If this truly marked the end of things; even though she hated herself for it, she needed to meet them full on, at least one more time. Bending down, she brought her plump lips in to place a gentle kiss on his cheek, and was surprised to feel his face move moderately toward the action. When she stepped back, she couldn't help but to take him in, wondering if he was doing the same. They were making the right choice for themselves, the simpler choice. So how come it felt so absolutely wrong? As her gut screamed at her mouth to protest those final bitter tasting words, Vixen's head pushed to move forward with the action. "Goodbye Gregory." His voice was husky and low, as he reluctantly returned her sad farewell. "Goodbye Vix." As she turned away, she kept her focus on walking the short distance back to Mountain High Apartments. The only thought Vixen allowed herself to concentrate on was that she had six blocks to get her mind right. And get her mind right was exactly what she would do. She knew from the start this moment was bound to present itself at one time or another. So she'd be damned if she'd let this get the best of her. She was no weakling, and she was bound and determined to set the record straight in that department. -A week had passed since then, and it wasn't getting any easier to face the brutal truth. He didn't want her, things were just too complicated, and that was the end of it. After all, she was used to getting the cold shoulder from men of his ethnic range. So why did she have the strong, delusional feeling that his actions may have spoken otherwise. Vixen groaned in frustration as she plucked her cigarette butt into the ashtray. Rising from the couch where she had seated herself during the re-run of her thoughts, she made way to the cabinet resting over her refrigerator. Making use of her slightly above-average height, she raised herself up on her tippy-toes and with ease, grasped the wooden handle. Opening the miniature door she retrieving a wine bottle from the back. As she turned it over in her palm, she found the label revealing the wine's name, 'Champagne Cuvée Dom Pérignon 1959 Rose`' Having been saving it for a special occasion, Vixen considered returning it to its original spot and replacing it with a bottle of lesser quality, but thinking on it, she came to the decision that now was as acceptable a time as any. As she set it on her kitchen counter to be uncorked, she noticed a tiny, yet extravagantly decorated Christmas card dangling from the bottle's head by a string. It was shaped like a snow flake, with silvery-blue glitter lining the edges. As far as cards went, it was beautiful. So why did she not remember seeing it before? Thumbing over the small-printed words, she realized it was dated last year. As she opened to the inside, it was so immersed in festive colors it was almost too difficult to make out the tiny sentence on the bottom. By squinting a bit more, it became easier to decipher. It read: "To Vixy, Congratulations on the new place sugar! Have one on me, Gregory." Vixen rolled her eyes. Was there no end to this torment? Well, at least it was a gift that was about be put to good use. As she undid the cork and took a shot of the sweet red liquid, it tasted like roses and hints of white chocolate, along with the slightly bitter aftertaste from the alcohol, it was absolutely splendid as it melted its way down her throat. Momentarily distracted by the familiarity of the wine's smoothness, Vixen couldn't help but to compare the taste of it to that of the gift's original owner, even though she knew that it would eventually only bring on more frustration, some things just couldn't be helped. Reaching through to the adjoining cabinet for a wine glass, she found herself pausing. Who was she trying to impress? Bringing her arm to rest beside her, she grabbed the bottle off the counter top and made her way down the three steps to the living room area, plopping herself comfortably on the sofa. Leaning up, she turned the small knob that controlled the television and adjusted the ears to the proper length before settling herself back into her seat. The TV emitted a slight buzzing noise as it gathered its pixels into tune. Preparing herself for another splash of luscious numbness, she tilted the bottle towards her mouth but halted mid-movement as her eyes fixated on what played on the screen. ...."Ay! The gypsies say that a lover should have gentle hands, a gentle mouth and a gentle heart." "And a woman of the same?" "No. She should have cruel hands, a cruel mouth, and no heart at all." As a handsome actor landed a deep kiss on Rita Hayworth, Vixen's mood took another turn. "Really?" She stated the comment aloud, and in such surprise she almost took herself off guard. With a slight laugh, she let her head fall back before hesitantly raising it up again, her eyes lowered in annoyance. The irony was endless it seemed. "At this point, it only figures." she muttered bitterly after a moment. Switching the channel turner, one thought in particular couldn't help but enter her mind as she ran a hand over her dark curls "This is gonna be one long night." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gregory looked out from his doorway, taking in the quick coming night air. Things shouldn't have been as complicated as they were, usually he was genuine problem solver, quick to find a different route around any issue, but there was no way around this. As he racked his brain for solutions that didn't exist, he heard someone enter the room behind him. "Still on about that Negro girl, huh Greg?" Adrian Barrot crossed the living room to an extensively stocked bookcase, fingering one of the books from the shelf and plopping himself down into an armchair that occupied the space beside it. "Shut the door will be you? It's chilly tonight. Ya know heating goes a long way when you don't invite the cold straight in." Turning from the entryway, he eyed his brother as he glanced over at him. "Don't call her that. She's not some Negro girl. She's a person. One is better than you I might add." As Adrian skimmed through the pages, he took in a deep breath, letting it out in an exasperated sigh. "Don't do this again, Greg. She's got a black mother, she's black. You know how it goes." His eyebrows furrowed at the snide remark. He already had to hear this from basically the rest of humanity. He would be damned if he had to deal with it in his own house. His brother was welcome over anytime. He knew that. Growing up, they were always close. Probably closer than most considering they were only three minutes apart. But even still, there were some lines Gregory had set in place concerning his private life that he just didn't like being crossed, and Adrian had always seemed fully committed to the task of crossing every single one of them. "And I guesses her father's side just doesn't count right? Look if you're not gonna to say anything intelligent about this then the least you can do be just shut up for once." As he slammed the door shut and walked to leave the room, his brother's voice caught his ear again. "If you really think you can have any sort of future with her, then it sounds to me like I'm the one with the common sense around here right now Gregory." he retorted. Ignoring his brothers words, he stormed out of the room, heading upstairs to his bedroom. Shutting the door in an angry haste, he stood looking around at the blankness of his personal space. It was filled with nice trinkets and furniture and such, but still, as he viewed it, he felt that it might as well be empty. As he wandered mindlessly around his room for a minute, he came to a stop at the window beside his bed frame. He had to admit. The city looked stunning when the sun went down. Soon enough, he found himself wondering why all people couldn't see beauty in the way he did. Falling back onto his bed, Gregory brought his hands to rest over the smoothness of his brown hair, shutting his eyes as a reluctant memory was brought to mind. - "You know. Some of the best wonders of the world happen when the sun goes down." He remembered the tenderness of Vixen's voice as she was saying this. Her head resting against him, the soft thickness of her curls tickling his chest as he embraced her curvaceous waist. He could still feel the warmth of their nude bodies pressed against each other as he wrapped them both up in the bed sheets. Watching from the window, they prepared for the remaining bit of light to disappear from the sky. He'd watched the sunset before, but this seemed like the first time he really seen it, and he couldn't get enough. That, along with the feel of her gentle hands hugging his arms tight around her, was enough to make his insides feel on the brink of bursting again, she'd had a habit of doing that to him, and he had a habit of putting up no resistance. As long as she was standing there beside him, she could do it all she liked. "It's the last few hours of the day before a new one comes, and it starts all over again." Her sweet, melodic voice echoed through his mind, traveling in memory down to his ears, touching his heart. It was as if he were hearing her again right then. Oh man, how was he going to get through this? "There's gotta be a way." The words were but a whisper as they passed through his lips. "There has to be." As he thought on this, he was disturbed by a light knock at the door. Lifting his head slightly, he gave an aggravated sigh. If it was Adrian with any more of his pointless ranting's, he was not up to hearing it at the moment. "Yeah?" His brother's reluctance was a surprise to him. "It's me." Sitting himself upright on the bed, he paused a moment before giving a reply. "Come on." As the door opened, Adrian's face held a guilty look. It was not like his brother to show remorse that often, and in the back of his mind, he wondered if maybe he had been a tad bit too rough on him. "Look, I just wanted to apologize for what I said." Gregory looked questioningly at his brother. This was just not like him. "I get that you care for her. Why? I have absolutely no idea. But you're my brother, I know you. You may say you've given up on something, but you always put your mind to find out how to fix the impossible." He really did know him too well. A snide remark lingered inside Greg's head as he found his brother's identical set of eyes, "I guess that's the price you pay for having a sibling who once shared the same brain as you." Realizing that this was not another attack on his perception of things, he lowered his scowl to a less threatening stare. "Well I accept, thanks." Nodding slightly, Adrian entered further into the room, clearly not through getting his point across. His eyes dropped down then back up to meet his own mirror image. Generally he was accustomed to it, but even now, Gregory still sometimes had trouble accepting how much they resembled one another. "I just don't wanna see you risk everything only to get nothing in return." he finished. Attempting to lighten the mood, he continued on, nudging his brother's leg as he tried to bring about a positive response. "Come on Greg, I mean, where were you really going with this?" Greg's eyes lowered as he reflected on that final conversation he'd had in the park. "Nowhere now." he muttered coarsely under his breath. Adrian's smile slowly faded away as he crossed to Gregory's side. Seating himself in the chair adjacent from the bed, he took a more serious expression. "You could do so much better for yourself by Gregory. Look at you. You're talented, chivalrous, got a house, a career, a fair amount of money. Any girl would be lucky to have you...Why fret so much over someone who can never be a part of that, happily, at least?" Greg rubbed the back of his neck. This conversation was overwhelming him, and it had only just begun. How could he explain to him that it wasn't about how lucky the girl was to have found him. But about how lucky he was to have found the girl? He'd met girls before, and of course they had fallen at his every whim, but he never felt anything in the encounters so striking as the first time he'd set eyes on Vixen, and since then, he couldn't imagine anything could come close. Sure Gregory Barrot was no stranger to the love of women, but he couldn't help but feel that Vixen's love was unlike any other out there, and regardless of whether he let himself believe it or not, he wanted that love with a passion. "You wouldn't understand even if I told you, so please, let's just drop the subject alright? None of it matters now anyway, it's over with, she's gone...And she's not coming back." As if sensing the uneasy energy in the already constricted atmosphere, Adrian rose from the chair, turning to exit his brother's room. Five to one, he could usually tell when his older sibling was being truthful or not, but now was not one of those times. "Well I hope you know what you're doin' Greg." he said as he neared the doorway. "Just, promise me one thing, be smart, okay? Think with your head...Or, the one that has a brain in it anyway. Motioning a goodbye wave through the small space still left ajar by the door, Adrian finished off the all-too familiar discussion with "I'll see you tomorrow." As the door shut completely behind him, Gregory lets out another sigh, this time, one that emphasized relief. He was so ready to be done with this situation, and at the same time, couldn't bring himself to want it to end. In all his years spent on earth, Gregory had been through some pretty tough situations, but none could hold a candle to this one. Kicking his shoes off, he rolled back onto his bed, assuming the previous position he'd held before his brother's intrusion. If there really was an answer to all this, maybe he would be able to find it through a good night's sleep...If that was even possible.