31 comments/  56555 views/  36 favorites

Getting Over Edie Ch. 01

By: nerd4music



Author's Note: Here's my latest. I got a lot of flack for Always and Never from my male readers. Yes, men do get hurt in relationships. This is a look into the male side of a breakup. Enjoy.~n4m.

********

There's a point in every relationship where things turn to complete shit. We pretend like we can't see it coming, when really we've avoided the signs like the drunk, obnoxious girl at the bar. We overanalyze every emotion and dissect every single detail, stripping things down to bare bones and all we're left with is the realization that it's all going to end and there's not a damn thing we can do about it. 

I suppose the whole fucking mess started with REO Speedwagon. Most modern love stories start out with chance meetings, flowers, and a series of wacky misadventures culminating in a ridiculously unrealistic climax scene on some bridge or some wedding. 

Well fuck that.

********

Grady Kade squinted at his laptop screen in disgust. It was complete shit. The whole damn thing was utter trash. Moving quickly, he highlighted the text before erasing it completely.

He needed a cigarette, and badly. It was a habit he squashed a while ago, but recently he decided to flip health the finger and do what the fuck he wanted. Rubbing the scruffy hair on his chin that was trying so hard to be a beard, he rummaged through the crumpled papers on his desk in search of the rascally pack. 

Opening the pack of menthols he took one out before patting his shorts pockets in search of a lighter. He settled for a stray book of matches hidden under more papers, striking the match and lighting the only thing keeping him from going batshit crazy. 

He inhaled deeply, letting the nicotine do its thing. It'd been so long since he had a good smoke. Nearly a year and a half. 

A year and six months exactly next week. Fuck. 

And now the anxiety was back. 

She hated that he was a smoker so he quit. If he would have known how things were going to turn out, he would've blown the smoke in her face and told her to fuck off. 

Grady chuckled bitterly as he took another slow drag off the cig. He was so full of shit. He would've done anything to please her. And that was the problem. Three months later, he was still looking to please. 

He shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. There was definitely a headache coming on. Every time his mind drifted to HER (as he'd taken to calling her in his head), a throbbing pain began to beat into his skull. It was painful to think about her, but he couldn't help himself.

"Dammit," he cursed. This wasn't helping his current situation. He needed to get this article finished. Nell, his editor was going to be up his ass if he didn't have it signed, sealed, and delivered to her office by ten the next morning. Grady glanced at the clock. Nine-thirty. He scoffed. He hadn't been home alone on a Friday night at nine thirty since his freshman year of college. It was laughable yet slightly painful to ponder. 

He needed a fucking distraction. 

His phone rang and he shuddered at the ringtone. REO Speedwagon; he needed to change that fucking thing. Too many memories behind it. 

Wanting to silence the phone as quickly as humanly possible, he answered. 

"Yeah?"

"Ahh, he's alive!"

"Fuck you," he grumbled. 

A deep voice chuckled on the other end. "No thanks, baby. You're cute but you're not my type."

Grady grinned in spite of his irritation. "What the fuck do you want, Benny?" 

"I want my best friend to stop being a whiny, moping bitch and come hang out with his boys."

"No can do. Got this article to finish."

Benny snorted. "Whatever. You are so full of shit. You write a guy's column in a chick magazine. It's not like you're covering Afghani trade agreements for fucking TIME. Just use one of those backup articles I know you have stored away somewhere and call it a day." Grady had to hand it to him. Benny knew him well. 

He was a freelance writer for EDGE, one of the top women's magazines in the country. He was the voice behind the mag's most popular column, "The Go-To Guy", dispensing love and life tidbits for the female masses to gobble up. Women loved hearing about the supposedly "mysterious" interworkings of the male psyche. He was supposed to have something brilliant for Nell by tomorrow but his mind just couldn't focus. Writing for women just wasn't an option because currently he didn't give two shits about the female population. 

So fuck it. Maybe going out and getting hammered with his boys was the cure. Deep down Grady knew this plan was full of fail, but he couldn't possibly spend another minute smoking cigarettes alone with his thoughts. "Fuck it. Let's do the damn thing."

"That's my boy!" Benny exclaimed. "Why don't we meet at Trinity in like an hour?"

Grady made a face. "Trinity? I thought we could go to Paddy's and pound back a few."

"Dude, you're single now for the first time in like a year. You've been tied to one vag for too long. It's time to get you over this whole Ed..."

"Don't say her name," Grady said sharply, cutting off his sentence. He felt his irritation bubble up inside his chest and he fought to keep his voice even. Come on Kade, he thought angrily. You're acting like a damn baby. 

Apparently Benny agreed with him. "Ooookay. We'll play it your way, Harry Potter. As I was saying, it's time for you to get over this whole 'She Who Must Not Be Named' situation. The world is full of beautiful women just waiting to be fucked."

"You're a pervert," Grady said with a wry chuckle. "I'll be there in an hour. Call Tony and let him know the deets." He ended the call. 

Grady lit up another cigarette. In his own twisted little way, Benny was right; he needed to get over this situation. But for some reason the anger over the turn of events stayed put, like an uninvited houseguest. Nearly a month later, he was still not over HER. 

Edie. He was only comfortable speaking her name in his head. 

"Dammit," he cursed aloud. Rising from his computer chair, he padded down the short hallway to his bathroom. Turning on the light, he came face to face with the nearly unrecognizable man in the mirror. 

"Yeah, Kade you're real sexy right now. The ladies will be swarming all over you."

Grady stubbed out his cigarette and took a long look in the mirror. He looked a damn mess. His honey-brown hair was greasy, the shaggy ringlet curls hung limply in thick clumps from days of non-shampooing. 

Dark circles formed under his eyes, reddened from lack of sleep and too much staring at his computer. His normally ocean blue eyes looked watery and dull. His tongue felt like sandpaper in his mouth and his scruffy ass beard was seriously haggard. 

All of that was fixable, if he actually gave a shit. No, what really bothered him was the extra forty pounds he was packing. It was downright embarrassing; He'd always been in relatively good shape, working out often at the gym and playing soccer with one of the local clubs. With his 6'3 stature, he was always at a comfortable 250. But since the breakup, he avoided the gym and pretty much stopped going outside in general, preferring to order in and watch mindless television.

His once athletic body was now doughy, an unfortunate victim from his breakup tragedy. Grady turned to the side, eyeing his tummy with disdain. "Pathetic," he said with a frown. He was never overtly muscular, but all his hard work and definition completely disappeared, thanks to a steady diet of Jack, cigarettes, and Mexican takeout. 

Grady turned away from the mirror and focused his attention on the shower. He peeled off his smelly navy t-shirt and black basketball shorts and turned on the water. Stepping in, he sighed in relief. The hot water felt good. Yeah, it had been a few days since he showered. Okay, so it was more than a few and probably close to a week. He was grossing himself out but he couldn't stop feeling so damn crappy about this fucking situation. 

Grabbing his body wash, he soaped up and allowed the manly, clean scent to wash away the grime and shame. 

After lathering twice and shampooing and conditioning his curls, he finally felt human enough to leave the water, which had long since turned lukewarm. Turning off the water, he stepped from the shower and wrapped a fluffy green towel around his waist, not even bothering to glance at the mirror. 

He shook his curls out, using a wide tooth comb to detangle the thick ringlets as he walked to his bedroom. He was kind of a diva when it came to his hair. The curls were the main attraction for the ladies, but he did the upkeep because otherwise his hair had a tendency to go crazy, morphing from shaggy and adorable curls to a ginormous Jewfro. Rubbing some anti-frizz glossing polish into his palms, he applied it liberally to his hair. 

The polish was from Edie, who loved to run her fingers through his hair. His mind automatically flashed to her fingers tugging sexily at his curls as his cock slid inside her wetness. He gripped his hair painfully, jarring the memory from his mind's eye and bringing his focus back to the matter at hand. 

Grady dressed quickly, pulling on a pair of light denim jeans and a navy and black plaid button down. He was lacing up a pair of black boots on his feet when his Blackberry rang. He grimaced as REO Speedwagon filled the room. Goddammit, he needed to change that. Hopping up from his bed, he stalked over to the dresser and grabbed the damn thing up. "Yeah?" he said gruffly. 

"Dude, where the fuck are you? We've been here for an hour already!"

Grady rolled his eyes. "Jesus, Benny I'm almost done getting ready. I'll be there in twenty."

"Well hurry up! It's fucking cold out here. Take a cab instead and make it fifteen."

Grady hung up. He grabbed his wallet and keys from the dresser and shoved everything into his pockets. Shrugging into his black fleece jacket, he locked up and headed out into the cold New York nighttime. 

The January wind hit him like a ton of bricks and he hurriedly pulled his thick black gloves and matching hat from his coat pocket and put them on. Growing up in upstate New York he was definitely used to weather like this. He walked quickly, dodging the busy streets and thankful he wore his boots. The sidewalks were still a little treacherous from the snowfall earlier in the week. 

By the time he reached Trinity he was freezing his nuts off and completely winded. Once again he cursed the cigarettes and fattening food. 

"Yo, Kade!" 

He glanced up to see Benny waving him over. He was standing at the front of a very long line of freezing clubgoers eager to get inside and get warm. 

Grady sauntered over. "Hey fucker, I'm finally here." He fist bumped Benny who just sucked his teeth. " What's doing, Tony?" he said to his other best friend. 

Tony grinned. "Hey man. Just waiting on you." Tony turned his attention to the burly bouncer behind the thick velvet rope. "What's up, Bear?"

"Hey Tone," the large black man said with a smile. "See you and your boys finally decide to grace us with your presence again."

Tony chuckled. "You know I gotta come back to my favorite spot."

"Nice to have you back, Mr. Cho" Bear said, his white teeth gleaming under the dim streetlight. Unhooking the rope, he ushered the three men inside, amid the groans of disbelief and protest from the unlucky ones in the line. "Shut the fuck up!" Bear bellowed, and the crowd fell silent. 

"Nice to have you back, Mr. Cho" Benny mocked as they made their way through the dark hallway into the pulsing throng of the club. 

"Shut up, man" Tony said sheepishly. 

"I think Bear has a crush on our boy," Benny continued. "Who knew being a sought-after music producer would bring you the attention of not only the finest chicks in New York as well as the admiration of gay bouncers?"

Grady laughed as Tony punched Benny in the arm. 

"Will you shut the fuck up?"

The two of them were like an old married couple. Their personalities were so different it was a wonder how they remained friends. Benny Silver was the loud-mouthed jackass; he constantly joked it was both the Italian and Jew in him. He and Grady were childhood friends, growing up on the same street for the majority of their lives. 

Benny was the ladykiller, with his dark looks and ripped body. He dressed like a typical meathead with the Ed Hardy and Affliction uniform. Benny was an asshole, but he was fiercely loyal, something Grady respected. He could joke one minute and be totally serious the next. 

If Benny was the livewire, Tony Cho was Old Faithful. He was the most levelheaded out of all them, which made him so successful in the music business. He was a talented musician with an ear for talent and sound. At twenty-eight he was a hit producer and a master mixer. Benny was loud and kind of obnoxious, but Tony was a bit standoffish. 

Grady was amazed how down-to-earth he remained, especially in his line of work. Tony was tall and wiry, his brown eyes ever thoughtful and always observing. His dark hair was buzzed short. He dressed like a Brooklyn hipster and Benny always gave him shit, but Tony didn't seem to mind. Grady had met Tony four years back at an A&R party for POSE. They were the youngest people there, not to mention the only two straight males and that alone bonded them. They also shared a love of soccer and it was Tony who convinced Grady to join his club team. 

As they made their way through the throngs of people, Grady felt a little terrible. He'd been neglecting his boys for the past couple of weeks, preferring to hang out with Spike TV, a large bottle of whiskey, and his expansive movie collection. He knew they realized he was having a tough time and the fact that they were respecting his mourning period made him extremely grateful. 

But still, he felt like a fucking pansy. 

They found an empty high-top table against the wall and set up camp. Trinity was packed tonight, which wasn't surprising. It was Friday night and people were looking to have a good time. The DJ was spinning the latest electro/hip-hop/bullshit that got the crowd hype and packed the dancefloor. Grady thought he would have felt out of place, but oddly enough the noise and the cacophony soothed him. His thoughts didn't have time to fester and create discomfort. He took off his jacket, hat, and gloves. 

"I got the first round," Benny said. "Jagerbombs for the opening ceremonies, then Grey Goose and Red Bull to start off the night."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Way to be a typical Guido douche, Goldstein. What's next, a round of fist-pumping with your bros to show off your new haircut?"

Benny flipped him the finger even as he laughed. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. What is it you hipster dipshits drink again? Pabst Blue Ribbon with a side of tears? Or maybe you'd like some sake."

Grady and Tony burst out laughing. "I'm Chinese, dick" Tony said between chuckles. 

"Details, Mr. Miyagi. Details." With a wave, he was off. 

Tony turned his attention to Grady. "It's good to see you out man. How goes it?"

Grady shrugged. "It's going, dude. One day at a time, you know?" 

Tony nodded. "I know." 

It's what Grady liked and respected about Tony. 

He could always tell when Grady was full of shit, but he never called him out on it. Instead, he waited for Grady to open up. Tony was a good listener and gave sound advice, but at the moment Grady wasn't looking for sage wisdom. He just wanted to be numb and hang with his boys. 

Benny returned then, a silver tray in his hands carrying his bounty. He passed each of them a shotglass. Lifting his, he said with a grin. "To my boy Grady. Welcome back man." Tony and Grady lifted their glasses in agreement before tapping the glasses back onto the table, and downing the shots clean. 

Grady hated the taste of Jagermeister, but the "opening ceremony" Jagerbomb shot was a tradition going back to their college days. He quickly took a sip of the Grey Goose and Red Bull concoction to mask the bitter licorice taste of the Jager. 

"Whoo!" Benny exclaimed. "I don't know about you boys but I am ready to get faced and get fucked."

"No surprise there," Tony said. He took a generous sip of his drink. 

"Better than being scared of girls like you are. All I'm saying is, we can get Bear in here if you wanna talk. I'm pretty sure we all know who the bottom is in that situation."

It was Tony's turn to give the finger. "As a matter of fact, I'm meeting a girl here."

"What! You see that Grady, little Tony's been holding out on us. Who is the lucky lady?" Benny hesitated for a moment. "It IS a lady, right?"

"Yes, Benny it is a lady. For the last fucking time, I AM NOT GAY."

"Alright, alright don't get your panties in a bunch. So who is this chick, and does she have any hot friends?"

"Her name is Gemma. I met her at an industry party. She seems down to earth. We've kinda been hanging out for the past week." Benny snorted. "Aww now that's just adorable. Are you going to pass her a note in Spanish class soon?"

The three guys shared a laugh. "What can I say? I'm old-school like that. But yeah, she's supposed to be here with a couple of her friends." Tony looked at Grady again. "Is that cool, man? I know you aren't really feeling the females right now."

Grady shrugged. "It's all good. I'm just going to chill in the cut anyway."

"Yes, let's let Grady do his brood thing" Benny said with a grin. "I'm sure the ladies will be too focused on my awesomeness to notice him."

"You're a ridiculous bitch, Silver" Grady said with a grin. 

"You know it man," Benny returned. "Now can we please drink up?"

Three rounds later, the club was still hopping and Grady was feeling nice and buzzed. He wasn't completely happy, but he was definitely feeling no pain and that's exactly where he wanted to be. The music throbbed loudly, forcing his heart to match the rhythm of the beat and his brain hummed with the fuzzy thoughts of the slightly tipsy. 

Whenever thoughts of Edie weaseled their way into his mind's eye, he forced them back with another sip of his drink. If it took a whole fucking arsenal of Grey Goose to erase her then he was willing and able for that challenge, liver be damned. 

He was thankful he was with his boys, even though Benny was bouncing all over the damn place, dancing with different girls, chatting up the bartenders, taking shots with various groups of women. He was always the social butterfly, preferring to keep on his toes than sit still. 

Tony was different; the people came to him. He stayed at the table with Grady, talking shit and flirting casually with the girls who came up to him. Grady noticed he kept glancing at his phone every fifteen minutes. "You expecting something?" Tony gave him a 'no-shit' glare. "I'm just hoping she doesn't stand me up dude."

Grady was thoughtful for a minute. He'd never seen Tony so worked up over a girl. The guy was good-looking and dated quite a bit, but his demanding schedule didn't leave a lot of wiggle room for a solid relationship. The fact that Tony was investing actual time into just one female was refreshing, but it made Grady feel miserable. Suck it up, Kade. "You really like this girl, Tone?"

"Yeah man. I really dig her." His iPhone lit up. 

"It's her! She's outside with her girls. I'm gonna go get them in and be right back." He bounced up from the table and pushed his way through the crowd. 

"Where's he going?" Benny said as he returned with more drinks.

"Going to retrieve his lady friend. She's outside."

"Damn, he's whipped already." Benny handed Grady a shot glass full of amber liquid. "Come on man. Let's drink those bad thoughts away."

********

Arden Finch was freezing her nips off. Shoving her hands deeps into the pockets of her bright red pea coat, she cursed herself for forgetting her gloves. Standing outside of a club on a cold ass night was not her idea of a good time but she was here with her friend Gemma playing wingman, or wingwoman as it was. Normally she would have refused, but Gemma hardly ever dated so if she was venturing out into the pool then Arden wasn't going to let her swim alone. 


Getting Over Edie Ch. 01



"Gem, are you sure he's on his way?" Gemma nodded. "He said he's on his way out." Her cerulean eyes traveled back to the door, searching the entryway. Suddenly her face lit up in a shy smile. "There he is" she whispered excitedly. 

"Thank fucking God," Stevie hissed. "I think my toes were heading into frostbite territory." Arden shot Stevie a shut-the-hell-up look. She directed her gaze to the guy making his way over to the large black bouncer. He was actually pretty cute. Tall, Asian, and dressed in that hipster jeans and scarf look Gemma liked. After whispering to the bouncer, he glanced up and waved at Gemma. The bouncer signaled them over and they walked behind the velvet rope. Arden tried not to glance at the clearly freezing and irritated crowd as they cut the line and headed into the warm club. 

She followed behind Gemma and Stevie behind her as they parted through the sea of bodies. The music was loud, some song about dropping it low booming through the speakers. After what seemed like an eternity they stopped at a high-top table in front of a long mirrored wall. There were two guys already sitting at the table. One looked like a reject from a VH1 reality dating show; he was huge, bulky and muscular wearing a shirt that looked as if Ed Hardy threw up all over it. Total meathead, she thought. Too bad, he was ridiculously nice looking too, with his tousled dark hair. He was looking at her like she was the last piece of rib at a fat man's barbecue. 

The other one was sipping his drink, his interest clearly not on them. She couldn't really see him too well; the corner he inhabited was obscured in darkness. But she knew he wasn't paying attention from the angle his head was turned. Well, whatever. If he wanted to be rude, so be it then. Arden plastered on a smile and hoped that this awkward meeting wouldn't take too long.

********

Grady was finishing the shot when Tony returned with three women in tow. He took the hand of the girl in front. "Guys, this is Gemma Kirby. Gemma these are my boys. That big meathead is Benny and the Shirley Temple looking one is Grady."

Grady turned his attention to the new additions. He nodded in greeting to each of them. The one Tony introduced as Gemma was a stunner. He couldn't help but watch her as Tony took her coat and set it gingerly on the back of her chair. She had bright blue eyes that seemed to glow in the light of the club and against her dark skin. Her hair was a little past shoulder length and medium brown with honey hued highlights. 

"Hello boys," she said in a breathy accent. 

"These are my friends Arden Finch and Stevie Knox."

The two other girls mumbled a greeting and sat down in the available chairs. Grady took a good look at them. The chick with the short haircut was a little intimidating. She was wearing tight jeans and a black leather jacket. The other girl, the one with the darker skin kept stealing glances at him. Grady turned his head, forcing his eyes to focus on his drinks. This really wasn't what he wanted tonight; he didn't need pussy in his perimeter. He just needed to be mind-numbingly drunk. 

Grady gulped down the rest of his drink. He felt the heavy pull of the alcohol working its magic on his senses. It was a sweetly numbing feeling and he welcomed it with open arms. For the next half hour he drifted in and out of the conversation. He didn't add anything, but chose to listen as Tony and Benny did their best to entertain the ladies. By listening he figured out Tony's girl was from Australia, a small town outside of Perth. The other girl, the one with the short hair and dark looks was still kind of intimidating. While the other two girls drank brightly colored concoctions in martini glasses, she stuck to beer in tall glasses. 

He shrugged it all off. He didn't need to wonder about the drinking habits of people he just met, but needed to focus on his own impending alcohol issue. He was out of spirits and was contemplating signaling one of the shots girls over when a voice jarred him out of his thoughts. 

"Wait, you're Grady Kade? The Grady Kade that writes "The Go-To Guy" stuff for EDGE magazine?"

Grady glanced up, his gaze meeting the eyes of the darker-skinned woman. "Yeah," he said shortly. 

The woman nodded approvingly. "Very nice. I always try to catch your column. You're a fantastic writer."

"Thanks," he said gruffly. Grady turned to Benny. 

"Gonna head to the bar. You want something?"

"Nah," Benny replied. "Got everything I need right here." Grady followed his gaze, which was currently trained on the short-haired chick. 

"Oh c'mon Benny. That girl looks like she'd eat you alive," he said in a whisper. "She's a fucking ballbuster."

Benny shrugged. "I'm always up for a challenge."

"Your funeral, dude. Don't come crying to me when she makes a kaleidoscope out of your genitals."

Rising from the table, Grady stalked off to the bar. He ordered a double Jack and ginger ale and two shots of Patron. The tequila he downed right away, the smooth liquid burning the back of his throat, setting a fire in the pit of his stomach. 

Fuck yes, he thought. Resting his elbows against the bar, he surveyed the action in the club. There were people everywhere, getting drunk and trying to get laid. Sipping on his ridiculously strong drink, he felt incredibly disconnected. 

This night was turning out to be a fucking drag. 

He was happy for Tony, but inviting the Vag-tastic Voyage Crew along was not his idea of a good time. At this point girls were just getting on his nerves. 

Okay, to be fair it was really only one girl. 

"Goddammit, Edie" he swore aloud. 

"Who's Edie?" a throaty voice questioned. 

"Holy shit!" he exclaimed, jumping slightly. 

Grady turned to see the dark-skinned girl from the table standing next to him, her face a mask of amusement. "What the fuck, do you normally sneak up on people like that?"

She shrugged. "I wasn't sneaking. It's not my fault you weren't paying attention."

"Why are you here anyway?" He was being a total douche, but he didn't care. Something about her personality set him on edge. 

She shot him a look. "Well, it's a bar. So clearly I'm here to play soccer."

"I meant why are you here standing by me?"

She hesitated at that, her dark eyes shifting uncomfortably. "Jesus, I didn't mean to disturb you." She turned to leave. 

"Fuck," he cursed. "Wait I'm sorry. Don't go." 

She whipped around to face him. "What the fuck is your issue, dude?"

His fingers ran errantly through his curls. "I'm sorry. Just having a shitty time. Shouldn't take it out on you." 

Her gaze softened, something that wasn't lost on him. She had wide chestnut-colored eyes, big and almond-shaped. They were overly expressive, but it wasn't obnoxious. It just made her hyper-emotive. "It's alright. I have a tendency to be kind of snappish."

"Let me make it up to you. What are you having?"

She smiled. "Thanks. Whatever you're drinking is fine."

Grady signaled to the bartender. "Another double Jack and ginger ale." 

The silence between them was heavy and awkward as they waited for the bartender to mix the drink. 

"You're not used to hanging around girls, are you." It was not a question. 

"Why do you say that?" he asked with a wince. 

"You're extremely tense. And kind of twitchy. Like a lab rat stuck in a maze."

Grady cocked an eyebrow. "Really, Freud? Well here's your drink." He slid it across the bar top into her waiting palm. Slapping ten on the counter, he turned to walk away. 

"Hey!" she called after him. "You never answered my question. Who's Edie?"

He chose to ignore her, never breaking his stride. 

Grady was officially done. There were too many people, the music was too loud, and most of all she was being too damn intrusive. 

He returned to the table to find Tony and Gemma looking cozy and the ballbuster downing her beer, a foul look on her face. "Dude, where's Benny?" Ballbuster turned her attention to him. "You mean the guido? He went to push up on some orange bimbo."

Well, the night just officially went lame. "Tony, I'm heading out."

Tony looked up from his intense conversation. 

"What? Are you sure, man? You haven't even finished your drink."

Lifting the glass to his lips, Grady guzzled the alcohol down before slamming the glass on the table. "There. Now I'm leaving. I'll get at you guys later." He grabbed his stuff. "Tell Benny I said to wrap that shit up."

He pushed through the crowd, but not before he heard "What the fuck is his problem?"

"Breakup. Girl did a number on him."

Grady shrugged it off, the liquor finally kicking in as he stumbled out of the club into the bitter cold night air. 

"Did a number on him". 

What a fucking understatement. 

********

By the time he arrived home he was past Tipsyville and plowing straight into Drunktown. He could barely unlock his door before bursting in and sprinting towards the bathroom. He didn't break the seal all night and his bladder was practically screaming for release. 

Stumbling from the bathroom he plopped down in front of his computer. Touching the keyboard, the machine sprung to life, showing the slideshow screensaver. 

He sighed loudly, the groan a strangled sound in his throat as images of her flashed on screen. Being around Edie made him a camera whore; he was constantly snapping pictures of her: sleeping in bed on her side, slender frame hugged tightly to a body pillow. She oozed sex, even in her sleep. 

There were various pictures of them together: kissing in the park, drinking at the bar, snuggled under blankets. His eyes welled up as his favorite shot came into view: she'd just finished brushing her teeth in the bathroom when he snuck up from behind, wrapping an arm around her waist, and pulling her close. He'd been watching her as she did her morning ritual, admiring as his black Ramones t-shirt fit her like a minidress, the hem of the shirt skimming her ass and making his dick twitch. When she bent down to rinse, he caught a glimpse of her smooth pussy, looking absolutely luscious. 

"Grady," she husked. "Stop it. I'm all ugly."

"Bullshit. You look so fucking beautiful right now." He nuzzled her neck with his lips, smiling at the soft sighing sound she made.

"Come on, I have to get ready for work." The rest of her protest died on her lips when his hand snaked down, cupping her bare mound. "Baby, no." The 'no' stretched out, making him grin hard. 

"That sounded like a 'yes'." With a wicked grin he pushed a thick finger inside, watching in the mirror as she mewled with pleasure. 

"You bad boy," she breathed, a shameless grin on her face. 

She reached up to meet his lips. Grady groaned when her fingers found their way into his hair, pulling hard at his curls. She was in love with his hair and her constant attention drove him wild. He reached into his back pocket, pulling out the digital camera and snapping a quick shot. 

"Grady! You little pervert!" she said with a grin. She pushed him, leaning against the sink. 

"What? I just wanted to keep that moment forever." 

Licking her lips, she pulled off the shirt, her slender body on display for him. "Come back to bed. And bring the camera with you."

Grady shook his head hard, forcing his brain not to finish the recollection. He'd been extremely late for work that day, but it was worth it. He was completely wasted, but his state didn't stop his body from reacting to the memory. Being inside Edie was indescribable; she was like velvet, so soft and so incredibly fucking wet. 

Dammit, he was doing it again. 

Slamming his fist angrily on the keyboard, he sent the slideshow packing. 

Grady pushed back from the desk, rising slowly. He didn't need this shit tonight. His feet felt heavy in his boots as he stumbled down his hallway, his fingers blindly slamming into the wall, grasping for support. So much alcohol, he thought numbly. 

After what seemed like an eternity he finally reached his destination. Grady unceremoniously kicked his shoes off, nearly toppling over in the process. His fingers stumbled over the tiny buttons of his plaid shirt. Angrily, he tossed himself face down on the bed. 

"Fuck clothes" he mumbled aloud. As he drifted into a booze-induced coma, his brain puttered out a final logical thought: Drinking tonight was a BAD idea.



Getting Over Edie Ch. 02



Author's Note: Sorry, guys. It's been a hellish four months. I was working on my thesis for my Masters and it was devouring my free time. But now that I'm finally finished with school I'll have plenty of free time to crank out chapters. Enjoy and thanks so much for your extreme patience! Happy Reading, n4m.

********

Why the fuck did everything hurt? 

Because loneliness and alcohol was a dangerous mix. 

Grady struggled to open his eyes. His lids were heavy and it felt like tiny shards of glass were poking his eyeballs. Hangovers hadn't been this epic since Blackout Thurdays during undergrad. 

Lifting his head wasn't even an option; instead he stayed still, trying not to focus on the queasy rolling of his stomach. 

He was too old for this shit. 

Drowning his sorrows wasn't going to improve his situation; he needed to snap out of his funk, and soon before it consumed him. 

Feeling brave, Grady turned his head. Fuck. It was nearly three in the afternoon. Apparently he didn't sleep, so much as take a mini-coma. His throat was raw and dry as sandpaper. Rolling on his side, Grady eased himself up slowly. 

"Fuuuuuuck," he groaned. His head weighed a ton. He shuffled to the bathroom, his pants sagging uncomfortably. Sleeping in jeans wasn't a good idea. He felt completely disgusting and disoriented. 

Peeing was a Herculean task. It took everything in him to stand upright. He flushed and quickly washed his hands, splashing water on his face. 

The cool water felt fabulous against his skin and he took a few sips before glancing at his reflection. The water helped. He almost felt human. 

Almost. 

Grady peeled off his outfit from the night before, stuffing the jeans and shirt into the hamper in the corner of the bathroom. Clad only in grey boxer briefs, he eyed his reflection with utter disdain. Fuck, he really let himself go. 

Edie used to love his body, his muscles, how much bigger he was than her. She was almost as tall as him, the perfect model height. She said being with him made her feel small and safe. She would snuggle up close on the couch, the crown of her head fitting perfectly in the crook of his arm. 

She was the perfect fit, the missing piece of his puzzle. 

And now she was gone. 

Grady turned from the mirror, from bad memories and headed back to his bedroom. The day was already done for. No use in staying up. He was about to slide back under the blanket when his cordless rang sharply. 

Grady was tempted to let the machine pick up, but decided otherwise. It might have been someone important if they were calling his apartment. 

"Hello." 

"You have some SERIOUS explaining to do, kid" a voice rasped through the speaker. 

"Shit" Grady swore. "Nell?"

"Who else?"

Grady couldn't gauge her voice. She sounded kind of pissed off, but he wasn't completely sure. 

"Look Nell, I'm sorry. I completely forgot about the article due today--"

"Forgot? Is that your excuse? So that's the reason I got this convoluted piece of ramble emailed to inbox at four-thirty in the morning? Because you forgot?" 

Grady was completely confused. What the hell was she talking about? "Wait, what? What email?"

He heard Nell suck her teeth in exasperation. He could only imagine the look on her face right now, perfectly lipsticked lips pursing in irritation, white frame glasses perched on the edge of her beautifully hawkish nose. 

"How much did we imbibe last night, kid? You do remember sending me an email containing your latest Go-to-Guy piece, right?"

"Uh, of course" Grady covered. "So what do you think?"

"I think you've got a solid article on your hands. It's a little rough, but with some editing it'll be another hit. You'll have every woman in New York eating out of the palm of your hand."

Great, he thought bitterly. That's exactly what I want. "So you like it," he said. 

"I wouldn't go that far. It needs to be redone and the cursing needs to be cleaned up. But it's not entirely a wash. I look forward to the new draft by midnight. Maybe you should stay in and stay sober tonight. Get some real work done."

"Will do, Boss Lady." 

The line went dead and Grady sighed with relief, but relief was quickly replaced by confusion. What the fuck was Nell talking about? Unless he drunk-typed in his sleep there was no way in hell he wrote and emailed an article last night, especially in his condition. 

Grady padded down the hallway, his socked feet sliding slightly on the wood floors. Bringing his computer to life, he promptly ignored the screensaver and immediately opened an internet window. 

He typed in his Gmail info, bringing up his email account. Sure enough, there was a message in the 'sent' folder addressed to Nell. 

Grady clicked the message and opened the attachment. 

********

"When I was younger, girls scared the living daylights out of me. They were taller, smarter, and faster. I didn't know how the hell to compete on their level. I was the short, chubby kid with the unruly hair and the mouth full of metal. I was thirteen years old and the only experience I had with the fairer sex was nightly dreams featuring the most badass vampire slayer with a rich girl's name. 

My fear was partly derived out of fascination. 

I've always wondered about the mysterious world of girl: the way they could spend hours primping and preening to end up looking effortlessly beautiful, how all those lotions and potions made them smell so damn good, or how just a flip of their hair could whip my boy-hormones into a frenzy and send me searching for the closest notebook. 

But most of all, what eluded me was how none of this seemed to faze them. Girls simply have no idea the power they hold over men, how just a look can resort us to drooling, dumbstruck jackasses tripping over one another, desperate for their time.

Needless to say I eventually grew into my looks. 

I grew about seven or eight inches, lost the baby fat, and packed on some muscle. The girls took notice and I received a great deal of attention. Despite my superhero transformation, I still retain some of the goofy awkwardness of my youth. 

A beautiful woman can send me right back to that husky, braces-wearing goofball: stuttering and stammering in my efforts just to be close to her awesomeness. That's how it was with her. When I was with...well, we'll call her E. 

I suppose I can blame the whole mess on REO Speedwagon and Paddy's Pub. Paddy's is famous for two things: the beer brewed on site which I'm pretty sure is laced with crack because of its beery goodness, and Saturday night karaoke. 

Paddy's karaoke is New York's own version of American Idol. Each week vocal hopefuls step up to the mic, showing off their singing chops. The best singer is voted by round of applause, winning a hundred bucks and bragging rights for the week. Paddy's on Saturday night was a tradition going back to college when my buddy Benny and I were fortunate enough to score fake IDs. 

She wasn't the kind of girl you'd normally see in a place like Paddy's. Most of the girls in the bar were pretty, cute post college grads and office girls. Not unfortunate looking by any means, but nothing spectacular. But E, she was more than that. She was a fucking knockout, the definition of my thirteen-year-old boy fantasies brought to life. 

When she stepped on stage, I wasn't sure what to expect. She was stunning; the kind of girl who's so smokin' it makes your mouth go dry. I had to down my whole pint to hydrate my throat. As she stepped up to the mic, I prepared myself for a rendition of some crappy 90s pop song that would make my ears bleed. 

We all know THAT girl: the drunk chick at the bar, looking as if she stepped off the runway, feeling like she can control the entire room even if it means getting up on and acting like she can sing. Most chicks like that can barely carry a tune in an eight-ton bucket but assume they can get away with it simply because they've got a pretty face. 

But when the REO kicked in and she opened her mouth, I knew there was more to this caramel beauty than her tall stature and killer legs. She was fucking OUTSTANDING. I was never a huge Speedwagon fan but she could've sung the McDonalds menu and it would have been the sweetest melody. 

E won the contest that night. I bought her a beer and we talked. Three hours later we were drunk, laughing like old friends, and flirting like teenagers. She gave me her number and two days later we had a first date. For the next sixteen months I got swept away. 

What can I say? I was caught up. She was wildly beautiful, daring, and a little dangerous. Being with E, I was finally privy to all the things that dazzled me about women when I was a boy. 

And then I realized that beneath that lip gloss veneer, there's nothing special at all...just multiple layers of bullshit and insecurity.

Looking back, I can't really pinpoint exactly what went wrong. 

But what I do know, what I can tell you...having a front row seat to The Love Implosion Tour is one of the most painful experiences imaginable. There's nothing like watching love burn and fade away right in front of you to really put things into perspective. 

Things end, and suddenly you're questioning everything. Was it something I did? Did I drive her away, or was it something else...an unforeseen outlier hidden in the background, waiting for the chance to rear its ugly head? 

I call bullshit. Love doesn't just end. It doesn't just fade away. It dies. My love didn't go out in a blaze of glory, all heroic with guns firing and all that jazz. No, it was murdered, hunted and gunned down. 

True, this could just be the rant of a bitter and broken man. I won't lie and say things haven't been painful because they've sucked beyond the telling of it. I don't want you to read this and go "poor baby". 

No, what I want you to take away from this column is this: You can't simply stop loving someone. It doesn't happen that way. You don't wake up one day and go "What a glorious day! I think I'll have pancakes and then break up with my boyfriend of sixteen months. I've decided I don't love him anymore!" 

But then again, that's exactly what she did. 

********

Okay, so maybe he needed to write more articles under the influence. Reading his honest words made him cringe, but it felt...oddly therapeutic. Talking about Edie never felt right. The story lodged in his throat, the words heavy and foreign, the concepts and plotline embarrassing him into painful silence. His boys were his boys, but talking about feelings and shit like that just didn't feel right. 

Although he didn't think sharing this story with millions of readers was such a healthy option, at this point in the game he didn't have much else to lose. 

Grady glanced at the clock on his desk; it was a little after three. It would only take him an hour or so to edit and polish his article. He got to work. 

Two hours and four cigs later, Grady stretched languorously. He was meticulous, anal, and kind of picky but it paid off. He finally had something he was sort of proud of. It still felt weird to be sharing all of this with the world, but he pushed past those feelings. It was time to man up. 

He was emailing the article to Nell when his cell phone chirped with a text message. It was from Tony. "Grabbing a bite later. Come out and get some eats."

Grady didn't know if he was up for that. Writing completely wiped him out. He already resigned himself to a quiet (and sober) evening at home...but honestly, spending another night trapped inside his head with his depressing thoughts didn't sound like such a good idea. 

As if sensing his torment, his phone began to ring in his hand. He answered it quick to cut off the Speedwagon. "Yeah Tone?"

"Come on, man. You need to get out of the apartment." 

" Yes Mom. Anything else?"

Tony chuckled. "Don't be surly. It doesn't become you." He paused for a moment. "I'm worried about you, Grady. I know you don't want to talk about things but at some point you gotta start letting shit out. I'm not trying to get all up in your shit, nor I am going to fuck with you like Benny. But I want you to know...I'm a great listener."

Grady was touched. "Uh...thanks dude. I'm just...not right now. I'm really not in the mood for dinner or conversation. Can we rain check it?"

"No problem, man. I'm going to check out this band tomorrow night at the Ballroom. Show starts at midnight. Let me know if you want to come. I'll put your name down at the door."

"Thanks man," he replied even though he had no intention of going. "I'll talk to you later, dude."

"Alright. Oh shit! I totally forgot to tell you. I take it you haven't talked to Benny today."

"Nah," he said as he lit up another cigarette. 

"Why you ask?"

He could tell that Tony was trying not to laugh. 

"Well...he hooked up with Stevie."

Grady thought for a moment. "Stevie...whoa! You mean your girl's friend? The ballbuster?"

Tony was openly guffawing now. "Yup. Needless to say there was an extreme amount of alcohol involved."

Grady grinned. "Oh I bet. I'm surprised he's alive to tell the tale. That chick looks like she eats guys for fun." 

"I hear you. From what he told me this morning, it seems like it was a very...interesting experience. I just figured I'd pass it on, just in case you want to give him shit. He definitely deserves it."

"No worries, Tone. He's gonna hear from me sometime soon. I'll talk to you guys later."

Taking a long drag of his cig, he couldn't help but chuckle. His stomach rumbled and Grady groaned. He hadn't eaten since yesterday afternoon, which probably explained why he got so drunk last night. 

Grady placed a call to Leo's. It was a local joint, a hole in the wall restaurant known for its marinara sauce and fresh-baked breadsticks. He supposed he could have had the food delivered, but picking it up gave him an excuse to get out of his apartment, even for a little while. Grady stubbed out his cigarette before standing up and stretching. 

He was still in his underwear. Grady shook his head; pathetic didn't even cover it. He was getting ridiculous. 

By the time he rummaged through his closet, it was time to pick up his takeout. He was in the bathroom, trying to tame his unruly curls. With a sigh, he admitted defeat and shoved a black Mets cap backwards over the mess. 

The late January wind was cold, but at least it wasn't snowing. Grady pulled his gloves on as he stepped out onto the sidewalk. The sun was setting, casting brilliant shades of reds, gold, and orange across the New York skyline. There was something peaceful in that moment before the sun goes down. 

People overlook sunset, never really taking the time to stop and appreciate the blending colors, the beauty in all the elements mixing together. He took his time, walking at a leisurely pace. One of the things he loved about the city was the anonymity; you could be surrounded by thousands of people and still feel completely invisible. It was a brooder's dream. 

By the time he reached Leo's the sun had long bedded down for the night. The city seemed to stretch from its slumber, anticipating the bright lights and excitement a Saturday night on the town offered. Grady was drawn to the flashing bulbs of the Leo's Italian Eats marquee, the neon sign a shiny beacon of the foodie goodness inside. 

Grady pushed into the restaurant, the tantalizing aroma of Italian spices and simmering meats making his stomach grumble even more. The shop was cozy and warm, with several red and white checkered cloth covered tables placed around the intimate dining room. The lighting was low, with white tea candles decorating each table top. The perfect place for a date. 

He used to bring Edie here. She would groan at first, wanting to go dancing or out to some schmancy trendwhore place downtown. But her complaints died down once she tasted the pasta primavera or the braised beef tips with tortellini. 

She never actually ordered food of her own, just a salad. But the portions were so big she always ate from his plate. She resisted at first, but he knew she couldn't resist the delectable eats. 

"Come on, baby" he cooed, attempting to lift the fork to her lips. They were sitting at their favorite table, the one closest to the window. 

Edie loved sitting near the window. She said whenever people walked by, she wanted them to notice how hot her boyfriend was. 

"No Grady. You know I'm on a diet!" She moved her face away from the fork, trying to push his hand away. 

"Baby, you don't need to be on a diet. You're fucking beautiful."

"You wouldn't say that if you saw these younger girls. They are the size of toothpicks. I feel like a walrus." 

Grady chuckled. He loved it when she got irritated; her accent became stronger. "I only see you, Edie. Now come on. You know you want some." 

She tried to look mad, turning her face away but her eyes glanced at him, taking in the puppy dog look. Smiling, she opened her mouth and accepted the food. 

She moaned and his body responded to the sound. 

"Mmm, it's so good."

"I told you," he said absently, watching her tongue snake out and lick her lips. He reached out, stroking her cheek. "Let's get the check."

"Why? You haven't finished eating."

His blue eyes glinted wickedly. "I'm kinda hungry for something else."

She laughed. "Okay. But get a takeout box. We're going to work up an appetite."

"Hey! Dude, you going inside or what?"

Grady shook his memory clear, snapping out of his daydream and back to reality. His bulky frame blocked the entryway. "Say what?"

The woman behind him sucked her teeth. "You're blocking the way. Are you going to move your ass or am I gonna have to move it for you?"

Grady whipped around, the 'fuck you, lady' on the tip of his tongue when he bit the insult back. 

"You!"

"Me," she replied. "Now will you get the hell out of the way? I can't shut the door unless you move and I'm freezing."

It was the girl from last night, the friend of Tony's girl. He couldn't remember her name. Something completely odd. "Don't I know you?" he asked. He stepped aside, allowing her entry. 

She eyed him warily. "Jeez, how drunk were you last night. I'm Arden. You know, Gemma's friend?"

Ahh, Arden! That's it. "Sorry. Didn't quite catch it last night. I was a little preoccupied." 

"Yeah. I could tell." She gave him the once-over. 

"You look like day-old shit."

Grady should've been offended, but oddly enough he wasn't. "I feel like it too."

"Alcohol will do that to you."

"So what are you doing here?"

"I live six blocks up. Came to pick up some dinner on my way home from class."

He glanced at her outfit. She was wearing black yoga shorts, bright blue leggings under thick purple slouchy socks and a yellow pullover hoodie. She looked like a walking box of Crayola crayons. 

"Uh, what kind of class are you taking?" 

"I teach a dance class at Madame Dauphine's Dance studio. It's on the corner of this block."

"Ahh, gotcha. So you're a dancer?"

Arden nodded. "It would seem so. You know, you don't have to make polite chitchat. I know you don't like me."

Grady was taken aback. "What? Who said I didn't like you?"

She shrugged off his inquiry. "I have a knack for reading people. I just get that vibe from you. Actually I get the feeling you really don't like anyone right now, most of all yourself."

He could feel himself getting irritated. Who the fuck was this girl? "Uh...well I'm glad that you and your knack have decided to judge me. You don't even know me, lady."

She rolled her brown eyes. "Listen, I'm not trying to start an argument or rile you up. I'm just stating facts."

"Well what kind of fucking fact is that? I don't even know you; why the fuck would I even have an opinion about you? And as for that other thing...you don't know shit about me or my life." 




Getting Over Edie Ch. 02



His anger was bubbling now, little beads of tension breaking the surface of his boiling rage. He'd never EVER hit a woman, but this chick was bordering on ridiculous. 

It was as if she finally sensed his mood. "Shit. I'm sorry. I really do have a problem with my mouth. I really wasn't trying to offend you. It's just..." her pause was significant, as if she was struggling to find the right words. "Tony told us what happened with your ex. Your behavior, the twitchiness...it all makes sense."

Grady wasn't appeased. "Is that how you really talk to people, just come out swinging at their emotions? It's bullshit."

Her emotive eyes narrowed. "Listen I said I was sorry. There's no need to get your panties in a bunch."

Grady chuckled incredulously. "Dude. Did you really just back an apology with another insult? You're unbelievable."

Arden held up her hands. "Jesus, you're touchy. Okay little girl, how about I get your dinner. Whatever you're having, it's on me."

"No need to make up for it now. I think I'm fully insulted." He turned to walk away but found she had somehow managed to block his path. She was a good six inches shorter than him, but she was quick. "So not only are you incredibly rude, you're also stealthy like a ninja." 

She rolled her eyes. "I really do apologize. I'm kind of blunt. It's a terrible habit."

His eyebrows raised in surprise. "Kind of?"

"Okay more like excessively so." Arden held out her hand. "Truce?"

Grady ignored her hand, but nodded in agreement. "Truce. Now what's this about buying my dinner?"

"Well you're kind of a douche but I don't renege on promises." Stepping past him, she made her way to the counter. "Pick up for Finch," she said. "Oh and Kade." 

The man behind the counter nodded, heading to the back and returning promptly with two brown paper bags. Arden dug through a large, bright green purse on her shoulder, grabbing her wallet. She handed a few bills to the man, who rang up the purchases and handed her back the change. 

Arden dropped a fiver into the large tip jar on the counter before handing Grady his bag. "There you go, champ" she said with a smirk. "And I really am sorry."

Grady shrugged. "No issue. I'm a little hard to deal with these days." 

Her eyes softened, something that wasn't lost on him. Grady bristled; he didn't need or want anyone's pity. "Well, I live right down the street. If you wanna come up and share a meal. We can talk."

"No thanks. Gotta go." He held up his bag. "Thanks for the dinner." With a wave, he turned and headed back out into the frosty New York air. 

********

He could have been a little nicer; after all, she paid for his meal. But lately being nice, pretending that life wasn't a carousel of shit exerted too much fucking effort. It was so much easier to be numb, to act as if shit didn't phase. 

Being nice just didn't feel right. It was too normal. Grady just wasn't ready to accept normal; it meant he would finally have to accept that she was really gone. And as miserable as he was, he just wasn't ready to do that. 

Thirty minutes later he was back in his apartment. His belly was full of tortellini goodness, but he still felt empty. He sat in front of his laptop, nursing his third beer. On the screen was an email from Nell, telling him to be in her office ten o'clock Monday morning. The message was short and to the point. Grady wasn't sure if that was a good or bad sign. 

Taking a long swig of beer, he decided he didn't give a shit either way. He was aware of how his behavior was progressing. His nonchalant attitude was bordering on comatose but he couldn't turn it off. Once again, it was too much effort to care. 

With a heavy sigh, he lit another cigarette. 

Closing his eyes, his mind wandered to thoughts about Edie. This is what he hated, yet he loved it at the same time. The silence and solitude allowed him the miserable conditions for his overworked imagination and memory to torture the shit out of him. He was a glutton for punishment; these forays into days gone by left him feeling worse than before but he couldn't shut his mind off.

It was one of the reasons why he craved solitude. There was no way he could zone out properly in public without someone questioning the reason for his behavior. He didn't need a fucking pity party; he just needed to mope and brood without someone all up in his shit every five minutes. 

Grady reclined in his chair, draining his beer. 

As the bottle rolled to the floor he took a heavy drag off his cigarette. His mind moved to happier times; being with Edie always felt like a twenty-four/seven high. Now that his drug of choice was gone, his body was in severe detox. 

He closed his eyes, his breathing deep and even. He almost wished he had something a little stronger than the cigarette. 

God, he missed her. Maybe it was lame, even a little girly. But he couldn't help it. With his eyes closed he swore her scent still lingered in the apartment; she always wore the same perfume, a heady mixture of something akin to gardenias and peaches. 

It drove him crazy. 

He could bury himself in that scent, the fragrance a Pavlovian trigger. He would wake up with her snuggled close, his nose tingling with the smell and his dick already hard. She would snuggle closer, a playful smile on her full lips as her hand snaked under the sheets to stroke his erection. 

Grady groaned. He couldn't think of the sex. Not tonight. It always led to the same place. He felt like an incredible perv, jerking off to past memories of an ex. He was chasing the ghost of a good thing and when he came, it was an empty, sinking feeling that left him worse off than before. 

He was driving himself crazy.

Grady rose from his chair and stubbed out his cigarette. Looking at the clock he chuckled bitterly. It was barely ten o'clock. He'd always been a night owl, preferring the rush of the late night action to the busy humdrum of the morning hours. 

He was a rare breed—he didn't have a problem with early morning hours, he just liked nighttime better. His brain was always able to function in the dark than in the daytime. 

Edie hated that he kept late hours. She insisted he was interrupting her beauty sleep on purpose, as if somehow he was secretly plotting to keep her from looking her absolute best for her photo shoot the next day. 

"Goddammit Grady!" she would whine, her accent detectable in her irritation. "You know I have a six o'clock call time!" 

He would chuckle softly, even as she glared from the doorway, hands on her slender hips, clad only in tiny sleep shorts and one of his college t-shirts. He would feel bad, thinking about her trying to sleep while he dicked around with Tony and Benny playing Call of Duty on Xbox Live. 

The amount of noise the three of them made on their respective headsets was enough to drive even the most patient girlfriend insane. "Sorry baby," he'd say giving her a sad puppy dog look. "I'll try and keep it down."

She would try to keep her gruffness intact but he knew she couldn't resist the puppy face. The corners of her luscious mouth would lift in a wide smile and all was right with the world. "If you're going to be up, you might as well keep me company." 

The look she shot him was signature Edie—sly, yet so unbelievably sensual. She was the master of sexy glances, her playful pouts so coy yet pulsing with fiery sexuality. It was enough to send him into lustful frenzy. His woman wanted him, and he was only too willing to oblige. 

He would always choose her over his mates in that case. 

With a groan, Grady tried to move his thoughts on a more productive track. He was treading dangerous water, thinking about Edie in that way. 

It'd been a while since sex (okay maybe more than awhile; more like months). At first his brain couldn't really process the thought of sex since depression had settled in a taken root. Now it seemed that was the only thing on his mind. 

Not like he was in the best shape for sex. He didn't feel attractive whatsoever. Truth be told he felt like run-over shit most days. It was a fucking task dragging his worthless ass out of bed every morning and an even bigger deal to take a damn shower. It wasn't sexy; he wasn't sexy. He was just downright pathetic. 

Grady shut his eyes, trying to block the disgust now washing over him. He was annoyed that this was such a big damn deal. It was just fucking ridiculous. 

Who was he fooling? She was a big damn deal. For the past year and a half she'd been his entire life. And now she was gone. And he wasn't sure what the hell to do. 

********

"Well I hope you know what you're getting yourself into."

Grady could feel Nell's eyes bore into his forehead. He was poring over the mock-up of his article. Rolling his eyes, he nodded. "I'm sure Nell. I want to run this."

He finally glanced up to meet her gaze, expecting her normal frosty emerald-hued glare but was shocked to see a touch of warmth in her eyes. 

"Grady, you're an exceptional writer and a piece like this will have women all over America falling for you. It's a very honest and heartfelt article but I won't deny it's quite personal. So I will ask you again: are you sure you want to do this?"

Grady chewed on his bottom lip. It was a very open article, but he didn't think it was that serious. He didn't see why Nell was so worked up. 

"I'm sure Nell. Trust me: I'm past the part of the potentially humiliating backlash that may arise from this. I've got it under control."

Nell nodded, returning to her normal inquisitive stare behind her white-framed glasses. "Well, contingent on the success of this piece, I'd like for you to continue the story."

Now that threw Grady for a loop. He stared back at her, blue eyes wide with shock. "Wait, what? Seriously?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Grady I am one-hundred percent serious. You said you didn't have a problem with this kind of writing, so I think continuing the story is the best thing. It's actually quite innovative. 

How many men get the opportunity to write about their breakups in a women's forum? I mean really write about it. As women we assume that men get over love and heartbreak as quick as a finger snap. It will be interesting to show females that not all men think exclusively with their dicks."

Grady was taken aback. It was one thing to write a short column about his break-up, but an entire series? Was he really ready for his business to be all out in the open for all of New York to read and discuss? 

His mind briefly went to Edie. How would she feel about all of this? It was one thing to write a one-time piece but a full series required dredging up details about their relationship. 

Grady supposed she wouldn't be too happy. He quickly shook those thoughts from his head; so what if she wasn't happy? She clearly had moved on from whatever they had. Her interest in his interests was no longer relevant. 

Nell's gaze was sharp and expectant. "Okay. Sounds good" he replied with mock confidence. 

She nodded, her bright red lips cracking something resembling a smile. "Good. We shall see how readers respond to the piece. Then we'll extend it. Hopefully." 

Bending her head, she motioned him to leave with a wave of her hand. Grady smirked; Nell was completely no-nonsense but instead of despising it, he actually liked her abrupt attitude. 

Everything about her oozed fierce, from her impossibly high cheekbones and signature designer lipstick in bright red, to her white-blonde hair in a large chignon at the base of her neck. She was strict, harsh, and at times overbearing but she was also a brilliant businesswoman. 

She wasn't afraid to butt in, which was why Grady was in her office early as hell on a Monday. She called him at seven, indicating in a tone which brooked no argument that he needed to be in her office in less than an hour. He hightailed it out of bed, still feeling like crap from all the heavy food and cigarettes and dressed quickly. 

He was kind of irritated that he had to be in the office on his normal day off, but he supposed it was a good excuse to get out of the apartment and actually be a productive member of society. Rising from the chair, Grady excused himself before quickly shuffling out of her office.

It was only a little after eight, but the day felt like a wash. Grady was a little unsure what to do next. He didn't feel like going home and being a total lazy-ass. It was too early to veg out at a bar. Grady settled for going to his cubicle. He strolled lazily to his corner cube. 

It wasn't much, but he was lucky to secure a space next to a window. The weather allowed him the opportunity to stare out at the sights and lose himself in the outside world. He had just sat down when a bright red cap of hair peered over the top of the cube wall. 

"Hey Grady!" a breathy voice bellowed. "Fancy seeing you here so early."

Grady glanced up as the red hair ducked out of sight before reappearing at the entrance of his little space. It was his cube-mate Gia. He smiled tightly, the action resembling a grimace more than 'happy to see you' face. 

"Hey Gia" he said, trying to remove any trace of irritation. Gia had a tendency to be a loudmouth. At a petite five-foot-five what she lacked in height she made up in mouth and personality. 

Her fiery red hair drew looks, her wide, bright blue eyes demanded attention. She had a killer figure, stacked and curvy in all the right places. Grady totally gave her a second glance when he first started working at EDGE that is, until Benny informed him that he hooked up with Gia ages ago and she was a Stage Five Clinger. 

Indeed, when Gia discovered the connection between the two friends she made it her mission to bug the hell out of Grady whenever she thought about Benny, which apparently was quite often. 

Grady wasn't in the mood for a Benny Q&A. He shuffled around papers on his desk in a pathetic attempt to appear busy. Gia seemed unfazed, leaning her tiny frame against the cubicle wall. 

Grady could see why Benny hooked up with her in the first place; she was totally his type, from the double Ds on her chest to the bossy attitude. 

Plus it didn't hurt that she always dressed as if she were the Saturday night special. Today's outfit consisted of a skintight black dress and a red cardigan and heels that matched her hair color exactly. 

"What the hell are you doing here? I hear you haven't seen daylight in over a month."

He wrinkled his nose in irritation. She was clearly in a nosy mood. "Just figured I'd get a head start on next month's 'Go-To Guy' article." 

She smirked. "You should do an article on Benny. I know plenty of women who have dated guys like him. Or considering his bedding habits, he's probably slept with half the women in New York any way."

Grady's eyebrow raised in surprise. She was clearly reaching for shit. "Uh...I'll take that into consideration, Gia." He was hoping she'd take the hint and clear out but no such luck. If the determined gleam in her eye was any indication, he was going to be in for a long, unwanted conversation. 

"So I hear your boy Tony is setting up a show tonight. Think Benny will be there?" 

Grady could hear the anticipation in her voice and he almost felt sorry for her. She was clearly chasing after something that would never happen. Now why does that sound familiar, a small voice whispered nastily in his head. "Uh, he might. Listen Gia I got some work to do. Think we can continue this conversation at a later time?"

He was waiting for her to ignore his request and continue with her pestering, but surprisingly she nodded. 

"Yeah, I gotta get back to my desk. I'm in a bidding war for some Louboutins with some housewife in Wisconsin. It's ridiculous, what the fuck does a middle-aged, stretch pants wearing, Clairol queen need with a pair of shoe perfection?"

"I...uh..."

"Anywho," Gia interjected with a wave of her hand. "I'll let you get back to your work. Who knows...I might see you tonight." Turning elegantly on her stilettos, she disappeared behind cubicle wall. 

Grady groaned. Great. Another fucking reason NOT to show up to this ridiculous function. He really didn't feel like listening to a shit band while trying to dodge Gia and her Stage 5 Clinger behavior. 

Deciding to get some work done while he was in the office, Grady logged onto his computer. He wasn't sure what he should be doing, but he supposed there had to be something to occupy and waste time. 

It was as good a time as any to log onto Facebook. He typed in his email and password, bypassing the notifications and friend requests for what he really wanted. 

Typing into the search bar, his heart jumped slightly at the sight of her page. He was pathetic. Stalking an ex on a website was so middle school, but he couldn't help it. He had a sick fascination with Edie and her life after him. 

She seemed to be doing just fine without him, and that realization made him sad and a little angry. From all the pictures of her out at clubs, fashion functions, and house parties she totally wasn't pining over what was lost between them. And of course she looked fucking stunning, her burnished skin the color of golden, crispy caramel. 

"Fucking hell," he cursed aloud. He quickly logged off in an attempt to stave off the thoughts that were destined to torture him. This wasn't a way to live, he thought. He felt like a fucking zombie, trudging through life's mundane tasks with as much enthusiasm as a dyslexic in a spelling bee. 

Grady whipped out his Blackberry and typed a quick message to Tony. "Count me in for tonight." With a press of his thumb the message was sent and a fiery need to let loose flooded his veins. He'd been alone with his depressing thoughts too long. 

It was time to let his hair down. 

********

Grady cursed as he huffed loudly, his bulk plus his wool pea coat making it impossible to move quickly in the cold; he definitely needed to lose some weight and quit the fucking cigarettes. He felt like an old ass man, moving slow with heavy steps. 

Thank fuck it had stopped snowing or else he would have been in some serious trouble. He supposed he could have taken a cab, but downtown Monday night was unusually busy and besides, he was already late—as usual.

He was still panting when he reached the entrance of the Ballroom. Before he could start bitching, he spotted Tony. He was standing in front of the bouncer, his iPhone attached to his ear. He frowned slightly as he noticed Grady. 

"Well finally" he said grumpily, an emotion that was very un-Tony. "I was just about to blow your phone the fuck up."

Grady's eyebrow raised in surprise. This was definitely behavior relegated to Benny. Tony was way chill; something was bothering him. "Sorry dude," Grady said sheepishly. "You know how I am."

Tony's brown eyes softened. While his flare-ups were rare, Tony never stayed mad for long. "It's cool dude. I know you run on a time completely different from the rest of us humans. I was just getting antsy."

Grady nodded. "I can tell, man. What's got you so wound up?"

"Nothing. Same shit, different day." He glanced at his phone with what Grady could have sworn it was a longing look in his eyes. 

"Girl trouble?" Grady questioned. 

"Aren't all girls trouble?" Tony's reply was a little bitter. 

"Is it Gemma? What's doing? I thought you two were feeling each other."

Tony shrugged. "I don't know, man. I mean, I dig her. A lot. But she's being kind of standoffish since the night at the club. I think she's avoiding me."

"Avoiding you? Why?" 

"Dunno, man. I just get that strange feeling." Grady knew all too well about Tony's "strange feelings". They were usually spot on. Grady hoped that maybe this time, it wasn't true about Gemma. Tony really seem to be crushing on her. It was weird to see him like this. With his busy schedule, Tony never had time to funnel his energy into a healthy, lasting relationship. Grady felt bad for the guy. 




Getting Over Edie Ch. 02



"I know you and your strange feelings, but how about we just let this one happen? Besides, I'm the only one allowed to be a miserable son of a bitch."

Tony chuckled, his brown eyes back to their normal sparkle. "I gotta say, man—you do seem less tool-like today. Think we might be seeing normal Grady" sometime soon?"

It was Grady's turn to shrug. While he certainly didn't feel one-hundred percent like old Grady, there wasn't that total encompassing feeling of empty that plagued him for the past three months. 

"I don't know," he replied. "I guess I could say the article has had an effect on me."

"Article? What article?" 

"My article for the March issue of EDGE. It's about Her. If it's successful, Nell wants me to write a few more."

Tony's eyes widened slightly. "Whoa. Dude, that's kind of...whoa."

"Yeah," Grady said with a nod. "That was my exact reaction. I wrote some bullshit when I was schwasted and sent it to her. Turns out, it was some really good bullshit."

"You think you're ready for whatever consequences may come from it?"

"Like what? I'm pretty sure things can't get any shittier than they are now."

"But--"

"Can we get our asses inside?" Grady interrupted. 

"It's fucking freezing out here."

Tony studied him briefly before nodded. "Yeah. Whatever you say, man." 

Turning, they both headed into the club. The atmosphere was considerably different from Trinity. There was a huge stage at the far end of the club. It was packed, with people milling around the large bar in the corner, to the throngs of people culminating on the balcony above the main floor. 

It was loud, it was dark, and it was smoky. In short, it was Tony's kind of place. Hipsters wearing trendy throwback shirts and skinny jeans sipped non-descript beer from bright cans and bottles. 

Grady felt a little out of sorts; he preferred a laidback bar with a jukebox and old dudes named Paulie or Jimbo. After handing their stuff to the coat check girl they headed to the heart of the club. Tony was clearly in his element, while Grady felt like he was on another planet.

Tony waved at someone he knew. "Hey man. I'm gonna go check out the band's manager. I'll meet you back out here for the show." Giving Grady a quick fist-bump he moved through the crowd, leaving Grady to stand around looking like a lost child. 

Overwhelmed didn't begin to cover it. With a shrug, he made a beeline for the bar. He ordered a Bud Light, opting to stick to beer, as he didn't want a repeat of the last time he drank hard liquor. 

He sipped his beer and watched the groups of people interact, a numbing ache of loneliness spreading like a dull throb throughout his body. It was getting to him, that glaring realization that he really was alone. 

It was annoying to feel this way, but he couldn't turn it off. He didn't want to feel lonely. He didn't want to feel anything. He just wanted to sit and wallow his way through beer after beer, getting so fucking lit that he wouldn't feel a goddamn thing but dizzy. 

"Stop it, Kade" he said aloud, gulping down a large swig of Bud Light in the futile hopes it would wash out the negativity. This night wasn't going to go like this. He refused to be a damn party pooper. 

"So do you always make a habit out of mumbling to yourself or is this just something you like to do in bars?"

Grady snapped to attention. "You," he said. 

"Listen I'm starting to think you're stalking me."

Arden scoffed. "Stalking you? Please. I think I have better things to do than to follow your mopey ass around."

He wasn't in the mood for her fuckery. Grady couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something positively annoying about her. She wasn't bad looking, especially tonight in dark skinny jeans tucked into black stiletto boots, a blindingly bright yellow v-neck shirt, and a black vest. A black pork pie hat perched on her head, reminiscent of a young Jon Cryer a la Ducky. However, her incessant chattering and her constant need to be all up in his business was putting her straight to the top of his "Choke a Bitch" list. "Why are you here?" he asked, not caring if she was offended. 

Arden was unfazed by his snappish tone. "I'm stalking you."

Grady wrinkled his nose. "Get real."

Her dark eyes gleamed mischievously. "Oh no, really. Didn't you hear? I'm MADLY in loooooove with you." Clapping her hands together, she squealed in a delightfully girlish way before batting her eyelashes dramatically.

Grady gave her a serious side-eye glance. "There is something wrong with you. Like medically."

Arden clutched her heart as if wounded. "Ouch. Grady Kade, you really know how to break a girls' heart." She chuckled before straightening up. "If you must know, I'm here to check out the band."

"Oh. Did Tony invite you?" he asked before lifting the bottle of beer to his lips. 

"No. My girl Stevie did."

"Stevie?"

"Yeah, you know. She came with us the other night. Tall chick, short dark hair. You know...the one you kept referring to as Ballbuster."

Grady nearly choked on the sip he just took as he eyed her. She was looking at him, her face a mixture of irritation and amusement. "Ahh so you heard that, huh?" 

The look she shot him was pure 'no duh'. "You're kind of a shit. But you're absolutely right. Stevie could kick your ass seven different ways from the Bronx to Brooklyn."

"So what, you two dating or something?" 

Arden let out something between a chuckle and a snort. "So because she doesn't take shit from guys and because I defend my friend that automatically makes us a couple?"

"Girl, dial it down; I was just making a joke."

"Did you fuck that meathead friend of yours?" she asked snidely, referring to Benny. 

"No," Grady replied. "However, your friend did," he added smoothly. 

"W—what?" She seemed truly shocked. "No she didn't."

"It's what Tony told me."

Arden made a face of pure disgust before shaking her head. "No...that can't be true. Stevie would never even look at that Neanderthal."

It was Grady's turn to be irritated. "Why does he have to be a Neanderthal? Because he likes women and sex? I think someone's a little repressed. Maybe a little jealous. You sure you aren't feeling the ladies?"

"Okay, okay" she said, holding up her hands. "We have officially reached grade school territory. So before one of us busts out with 'Nanny-nanny-boo-boo' I'm gonna call a truce."

Grady rolled his eyes, but conceded. "Alright. Sorry for implying that you liked girls. But the thing about my boy and your girl? It's legit."

Arden visibly shuddered. "I just can't...it's just too much to take in."

"That's what she said."

"Oh EWWW!" she exclaimed before slapping him on the arm. "That's just wrong!" 

Grady chuckled. "Ouch! Anyone ever tell you that you hit like a linebacker?" 

"Yeah, well you're a jerk. And you look like a frat boy reject." It was true. He was looking a little 'I Love College' with jeans and a hoodie on. At least he wasn't wearing a hat, his thick blonde curls akimbo all over his head. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize there was a hipster dress code. I wasn't informed."

Arden rolled her eyes. "You're making it difficult to maintain this truce."

Grady was about to reply when the sizzle and crackle of the microphone caught his attention. It was then he realized it was Tony on stage. 

"Can I have everyone's attention? It is my honor to introduce one of the hottest up and coming bands on the scene. For your viewing and listening pleasure, ladies and gentlemen may I present...Love in Chains!"

The audience cheered loudly as the opening notes of a guitar riff blasted through the club. The light went up and Grady could clearly see the band. "Holy shit! Your friend is in the band?"

"Yeah" Arden yelled back. "Stevie is like one of the best guitarists I've ever seen!" She waved madly at Stevie, who smiled back at her. 

Thirty minutes later, Love in Chains was still going strong. Grady had to admit, he was enjoying himself. This was just what he needed to take his mind of his troubles. He was even enjoying Arden's company, though she was dancing around like a maniac and screaming like a banshee. Tony had joined them earlier and they were both bobbing their heads to the music. At the last note the crowd applauded and roared for more. 

The lead singer, a dark haired fellow grinned like a true rock star. "This next song, I wrote it for a very special woman. She came into my life like a whirlwind, and she hasn't stopped the room from spinning ever since. This song is for you, babe. Edie, love...come on up!"

Grady's heart plummeted straight down, exploding in a massive pile by his feet. No, it couldn't be. This wasn't happening. 

And then he saw her. 

She breezed to the stage, climbing the steps in such a carefree fashion. She accepted his outstretched hand, allowing him to take her into his arms before kissing him hard on the lips. The crowd screamed, shouting and clapping for more. Pushing the singer away, Edie grinned and waved at the crowd. 

No. This wasn't fucking happening. She wasn't here, in the Ballroom, KISSING another guy. He felt sick, the beer seeming to rise from his stomach, into his throat, threatening to spew chunks all over the floor. 

"She's...she's..."

Arden glanced over at him. "Hey—are you okay? You're looking kind of green."

He couldn't breathe. He needed air, goddammit! Why wouldn't his feet move? "You...you knew about this." He stared accusingly at Tony. 

Tony shook his head, the surprise evident on his face. "No man. You know I'd never do that to you."

Arden looked back and forth between the two friends. "Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?"

The music once again began to thunder and Grady felt awash in a sea of emotions. He didn't know whether to scream, rage, cry, or punch the fuck out of Tony. Instead, he opted to run, but his feet still weren't trying to cooperate. He could barely make out Tony and Arden's voices beneath the roar of the music and the earth shattering revelation that Edie was here, in the same club. 

After three months of her absence, he was finally able to see her in the flesh. And what glorious flesh; the golden caramel of her Afro-Brazilian skin perfectly complimented her gold tube dress and matching sequined heels. 

"It's Edie. His ex. She's onstage."

Arden glanced at the woman, the Glamazon currently hogging the spotlight onstage. That was his ex? Jesus, no wonder the guy was a wreck. "Is he gonna be okay?" 

Tony shrugged. "Dunno. He looks like he's gonna blow chunks."

Arden decided she was gonna take charge. "C'mon." Grabbing his arm, she practically pushed Grady away from the throngs of people.

"I just...I can't believe it," he mumbled as she steered him towards the exit. "She moved on."

Yeah, Arden thought with a grumble. Maybe it's time you did, too.



Getting Over Edie Ch. 03



Author's Note: Excuse the lateness. I'm still working on getting my laptop fixed, among other little problems. I'm already working on Chapter 4 and I promise not to have a long gap between chapters any more. Thanks so much for your patience! ~n4m.

********

The cool night air was an eye-opening shock to his system, the jolt that snapped him back to reality. He was very aware that his movements were buoyed by a pair of small hands on his hips. 

They were especially strong, considering he wasn't the lightest guy even without the extra sixty pounds of flab currently hanging on his frame. 

The grip was firm yet feather-light, as if she was hesitant to touch him. Yes, he knew it was Arden. He was a little surprised she was being so helpful, considering he'd been a giant douche to her earlier. 

Grady stopped walking, his abruptness causing Arden to bump into him. "Oof!" she exclaimed. "You gotta warn a girl before you do shit like that." Arden steadied herself before glancing up at him. "I won't ask if you're okay. It's too cliché and we both know the answer." 

He nodded. "What the hell was she doing there?" It was the million dollar question and the one that threatened to explode his brain. Of all the hipster clubs, in all of New York, she had to sashay into THAT particular one. Grady wasn't sure what made him feel worse: finally seeing her after three months of withdrawal or seeing her with someone else. 

Not just anyone...a fucking musician. How goddamn cliché was that? 

Arden was tempted to slap him out of his stupor, but decided Life had already beaten him properly that night. "Dude...do you want to get something to eat?"

Grady glanced down at her. Was she actually being...nice to him? His look must have said it all because she nodded vigorously. "Yeah, yeah I know I'm actually being nice but I thought you'd prefer to cry in a booth somewhere instead of out on the street in front of the entire city."

"Yeah," he replied, his voice hoarse. "I could go for some food." His only other alternative was hiding out in his apartment, drinking alone. Somewhere in the fucked up darkness that was his brain the logical center was screaming "Bad idea, Kade". 

"Grady!" a familiar voice called from behind them. Grady cringed inwardly. Despite his initial misgivings he knew Tony had nothing to do with Edie being there. But he wasn't ready to face him yet. He didn't want to be a part of a conversation that involved rehashing whatever the hell just happened in that bar. 

With a long sigh, he steeled his emotions, locking his thoughts away from his ever-observant friend. 

Tony njogged to where they were standing, concern marring his handsome features. "Dude," he said, trying to catch his breath. "I just came out to check on you. Are you okay man?" 

Arden shot him a look. "Oh yeah, he's perfectly peachy." 

Tony wrinkled his nose. "You don't think I had anything to do with this too, do you?" He groaned. "I had no idea she would be there. I didn't even know they were dating."

She shook her head. "How could you have known? I don't think anyone would have predicted this. It all seems like a really shitty coincidence. But listen, I'm gonna take him out of here. He's a little shell-shocked."

"Okay. Here's my number just in case." He handed Arden his business card. Tony turned his attention back to Grady. "Grade, I'm really sorry man. I had no idea..." 

"It's okay, man" Grady replied. "It's not your fault." He quickly fist-bumped Tony and shot him a weak smile. "I just gotta get the fuck out of here." 

Tony nodded. "I hear you, dude. Call me later. We'll talk. I'd go with you guys, but I gotta stay and wrap things up with the...well, I just got to get back in there." With a wave he was off. Grady shut his eyes. The day felt too damn long. 

An overwhelming wave of exhaustion flooded his system. All he wanted was a fattening meal and a long nap. 

"Grady?" Arden was looking up at him expectantly. "Are you ready?" 

His nod was vigorous. "Yeah. Let's go." 

They started down the street. Grady wasn't sure exactly where they were headed, but as long as they moved far away from the Ballroom, it was okay with him. The silence was deafening and uncomfortable. There was no doubt about it—she made him twitchy and ridiculously uneasy. It had been awhile since he was alone with the fairer sex. He was unsure of what to do, so he did nothing. 

Arden was also unsure how to act around him. Normally they'd be on Round Three already, sniping at one another and throwing barbs. But in his current state, teasing just didn't feel right. He looked like someone ripped out his heart through his mouth. 

It wasn't that she liked him or anything; she just couldn't fathom guys like Grady. He seemed like a decent enough dude. What the fuck he was doing that Brazilian primadonna, she'd never understand. 

She didn't know Edie; Stevie had mentioned in passing that Dylan had a new, obnoxious twat of a girlfriend. But as the lead singer of an up-and-coming band Dylan's infatuations never seemed to last past the first chorus that was the song of his love life. 

"So what do you feel like eating?" she asked. 

"Don't know about you, but I'm starved." Grady slowed his pace, his gaze meeting her brown eyes. "You don't have to do this."

"I know." Her response was simple but brooked no argument. "So I was thinking pizza."

"Why pizza?" 

"Well we're standing in front of a pizza joint and I'm tired of walking. Besides, I'm cold." She hugged her black leather jacket closer to her frame. 

Grady shrugged. "It's cool with me." 

Arden stepped inside the building. Spagnoli's was a pretty well known spot for Brooklynites. It boasted a great pepperoni pie, ice cold beer on tap, and a cozy atmosphere. Grady was silent as they entered the restaurant. Spagnoli's was bustling with the normal Monday night crowd. The copped a table in the heart of the dining area. 

The server, a tall man with an attractive face and scruffy beard scribbled down their order. As he left, Arden shifted uneasily, aware that the night was slowly heading back into awkward territory. 

"I'm probably not the best dude for conversation right now" he said. 

Arden scoffed. "Nah. You're a regular chatterbox. I was gonna tell you to stop because all this talking we're doing is killing my buzz."

A small chuckle escaped, surprising him. 

"Ahh, there we go. I knew if I kept soldiering on I'd get a smile eventually." Arden had to admit, he was kind of cute when he smiled. If you went for that sort of overgrown, hulking frat boy look. 

His eyes met hers and she noticed how crisp and vibrant they were. They were remarkably attractive, the soft Caribbean blue a perfect complement to his surfer blond hair. Arden was a sucker for guys with curly hair and Grady's abundantly thick corkscrews would send even Shirley Temple into fit of jealous rage. 

Wait a minute. What the fuck are you doing Finch, she thought. This dude has done nothing but insult and annoy you since you met him. He is NOT cute. Plus, he looks like a rag doll left out in the rain, all disheveled and shoddy. 

"Can I ask you something?" she asked, a timid tone to her voice, which sort of surprised her. 

"I can only imagine what you have in store for me," he said with a short nod. 

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" She braced herself for the impending onslaught of cursing and angry words but was taken aback at the defeated sigh that followed her undoubtedly invasive question. 

"I dunno," he said sadly. "I don't want to be like this. Really, I don't. But it takes so much fucking effort to act normal, to pretend like nothing happened. To go on living as if she didn't break my heart into a thousand bits and danced a jig on the pieces."

"Well, you certainly have a way with words."

He smirked. "I think that's the nicest thing you've said to me since we met." 

Arden shrugged. "Dude, it would be fucking cruel to kick a man when he's down. And right now you're just pathetic."

Grady snorted. "And now you've completely ruined the moment of zen." They fell back into silence for what seemed like an eternity before Grady spoke up again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," she said. "Fire away."

"Have you ever been in love?"

She was quiet, her interest suddenly moving to shredding the napkin in front of her into tiny pieces. "No. I've lusted. A lot. But love...no, I don't think so." She watched his face as he tried to process her response. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I don't think someone who has never been in love can really understand how fucking awful it can be."

Arden scoffed. "I call bullshit. I've cared deeply, I've felt strongly, and suffered greatly when it, whatever it was, was lost. Maybe it wasn't love but it hurt like a motherfucker." 

Grady tried to comprehend her words. She had a way of talking around the subject that was completely maddening. "So then what was it? What's the 'IT' you speak of?"

Her lips pursed in deep thought as she pondered his question. Finally she spoke. "To be honest, I'm not really sure what it was. When you're in love with someone, you don't have to scramble to try and define what that love means or what those feeling represent; it just is. 

Whenever I was in a relationship I had to compartmentalize my feelings, dissect every emotion, thought, and feeling looking for some hidden undertone. I don't know. It didn't feel like love. It felt like work. Being in a relationship is a full-time job and if you're not working with the right partner it's an unnecessary burden." 

Their server returned with a silver pizza pan, setting down the large pepperoni pie in front of them, as well as a pitcher of beer. Grady poured beer in both their glasses as Arden sprinkled oregano and parmesan cheese on the pizza. 

"What was it like, with Edie?" she asked, taking a slice for herself. 

Grady shrugged. "It certainly didn't feel like a job. In the beginning, it was how it always is in relationships: thrilling, full of hot sex, and generally like a twenty-four/seven coke high." His lips tugged automatically into an easy grin. 

"She was positively electrifying. Being with her was a whirlwind of glamorous parties, late nights at clubs, and movie premieres. Whenever I was around her, it was always a good day."

He was thoughtful for a moment as he chewed. 

"Okay...maybe there were some times when it felt like a chore, but no relationship is perfect and easy."

Arden nodded as she took a huge bite. "True. But there's definitely a difference between a normal relationship and a shitty relationship. And really, you have to think about it. Your relationship with Edie sounds incredibly superficial. You can't even tell me how it really was."

Grady shot her a look. "Maybe it's hard to describe something so intimate with someone so damn hostile."

She shrugged. "Maybe it's hard, because what you had with this woman wasn't as real as you wanted it to be."

"Well what the fuck do you know," he snarled. 

"You're the one who's never been in love."

Her brown eyes searched his blues for a moment. 

"I...just..." She fumbled over her words, clearly taken aback by his cruel response. "What do I know? Like you said, I've never been in love. Who am I to comment?" 

Lowering her eyes, she concentrated on studying the pizza slice in her hand, her bottom lip moving frantically between her teeth. 

Grady got the distinct impression that she was hiding something. He'd gone too far. He hurt her feelings with that love comment. It wasn't intentional; he realized any other time she would have bitten his head off. But now she looked as miserable as he did. They needed to change the subject, and fast before irrevocable damage was done to already fragile egos. 

He cleared his throat, the sound like a gunshot in the awkward silence. "So...you're a dancer, huh?"

Arden looked up, and he was surprised to see what looked like tears brimming in her brown eyes. It was just the barest of moments and disappeared when she nodded vigorously. The flash of moisture was gone and in its place was a gleam Grady recognized as pure happiness. "Yes," she said. 

"That's awesome," he said sincerely as he gulped down some beer. "What kind of dance?"

"Pretty much everything—ballet, modern, jazz, tap. You name it, and I can probably do it better than most people." The typical Arden smug was back in her voice but this time instead of getting on his nerves, he actually found himself excited with her. 

"I can barely move five paces without stumbling, so I don't think dance is really my forte."

Arden chuckled as she stuffed the rest of her slice into her mouth. "I could definitely tell. Although you move kind of well for a big guy."

Grady winced at that comment. He was still a little sensitive about his weight gain. Arden must have seen his reaction because she immediately began to backtrack. "Oh no! I didn't mean it like that. I meant...shit, dude you're just a large guy. When I first saw you I was like Jesus, he's a biggun'."

They both laughed. "Guess it's just leftover from all those years of taunting I endured during junior high. I wasn't always this big. I was definitely the short chubby kid." 

Arden giggled. "Aww I can totally see that. I've always been tall. It's nice to meet a guy that isn't eye level with my boobs for once. For some reason really short guys love to hit on me."

"It's the Little Man Complex," Grady explained as he wiped pizza grease from his lips with a napkin. "I knew this kid, Jimmy Telesco in college. Dude couldn't have been more than five foot six on a good day. Anyway, he was a total asshat. Used to walk around, swinging his arms like some fucking MMA fighter, walking around all hulked out. 

He was always that dude starting shit at the club, running his mouth at every opportunity. But kid was a punk. Like the great Jay-Z puts it 'you know the type, loud as a motorbike, but wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight'. Yeah, that was Jimmy."

A wide grin brightened her heart-shaped face. 

"Okay you totally get cool points for that smooth Jay-Z reference. '99 Problems' is my go-to song whenever I'm in the mood to not give a damn." She took a generous swig from her mug. "You're totally obnoxious but you seem like a good guy deep down."

"Well hello Pot, meet Kettle." He smirked. "You have to admit, you aren't the easiest person to get along with."

She shrugged. "I stand by my opinion that you're just a grump who can't appreciate my flawless personality." Her overdramatic tone caused them both to chuckle. "Okay let's face it: we're both douchebags. But in your case, I believe it's understandable. Although I'm gonna be honest, I would have liked to meet pre-breakup Grady. I love reading your columns. You're a really talented writer."

"Uh...thanks Arden." He could feel the heat of embarrassment flush his cheeks. She was being unusually nice but instead of creeping him out, he was oddly okay with it. His gaze met hers and he was surprised to see a trace of uneasiness in her eyes. So she was just awkward with the conversation as he was; that was a comforting fact. 

Her laugh was shrill in the quiet lull of their conversation. "I'm not blowing smoke up your ass. You know you're a great writer. I'm just stating my opinion. You're having a shitty day and I think you could use a healthy dose of compliments. You're a good guy going through a fucking terrible time. It sucks, but you'll get through it." Arden polished off her last bite of pizza. "Don't worry, I'll be back to my normal obnoxious self soon."

Grady smiled. "Let's hope so. 'Nice You' is a little terrifying."

"So I've been told."

Their server returned. "Can I get you anything else?" he asked. 

Arden looked up at Grady. "What say you, Kade? Can you stand to be around me for another pitcher of beer?"

Smiling, he rolled his eyes. "I think I can handle it. Another pitcher of Bud Light, please."

With a nod, the server grabbed the pitcher from the table and headed towards the kitchen. 

Arden shot him a playful look. "I see you. Just because you want to spend a little more time with me doesn't mean I'm actually going to be nice to you."

He shrugged. "Whatever. Besides, you're the one about to lose her shit over my writing skills."

She let out an adorably unladylike snort. "I said you were good. I'm not about to drop my panties over it."

Grady chuckled. "Anyone ever tell you that you aren't the least bit ladylike?" 

She brushed off his barb with a wave of her hand. "Ladylike is an antiquated expression used to 'put girls in their place'." 

"Alright, Gloria Steinem; there's no need to start lighting up the bras just yet." Grady shook his head, a small laugh tumbling from his lips. 

"Hmm..." he mused aloud. 

"What?" Arden asked as the server returned with their beer. 

"Nothing really," Grady remarked. "It's just that...I think this is the first conversation I've had with the opposite sex that didn't make me want to gouge her eyes out with a dull spoon." Her dark brow arched suspiciously. "Should I be worried? I just wanna let you know I have knife in my pocket and I'll definitely shank a bitch if necessary." 

He held up his hands. "Whoa! No need to start the revolution, Lady of Rage. I'm just pointing something out. This is like the first normal conversation in months I've had with a female and the first I've had with anyone that didn't revolve around Edie."

"And how does it feel?" 

Grady paused. "It feels...okay." He sighed, taking a drink from his mug. "I don't know. There's this tiny feeling in my chest telling me it's gonna be okay."

Arden's eyes met his and she smiled. "Maybe you should listen to that part." She reached out, her fingers sliding across the red checkered tablecloth to pat his hand. Grady could tell she felt awkward about it; her movements were unsure but oddly reassuring. "You're going to be okay, dude," she said softly. "But I think it's time for you to really evaluate your relationship." 

She moved her hand quickly away from his, fingers moving back to cup her chilly beer mug. "I feel like all I've done since we broke up was evaluate the relationship."

She shook her head. "No, what you've done is wallow and self-medicate with junk food and alcohol. Now, I'm not trying to judge or make fun of you," she added quickly. "But all I'm saying is, the first step in recovery is taking a good hard look at the damage. 

Look at your life with Edie...how it all began, where things started to go wrong, etcetera. You have an opportunity most of us only dream about: the chance to make your voice heard, to tell the person who broke your heart just exactly how you feel. Most of us don't get that chance," she added softly. 

Once again, Grady got the impression she was hiding something but he let it slide. She was absolutely right. He needed to research in order to move on. It was not about wallowing in grief any more, but taking a naked look into his past. It was a terrifying, yet liberating notion. 

"I just don't know if I'm ready," he admitted. 

Arden shot him a look. "I think you've been ready for a while. I think you're finally coming to terms with the idea that looking into your relationship is the key to finally letting Edie go. And it's time, dude."

Her insightfulness was impressive. Grady had no idea. Hidden underneath all that obnoxiousness was a truly thoughtful individual. "Wow," he remarked. "I honestly had no idea you were so Zen." 

She shrugged. "We'll just chalk it up to women's intuition." 

He grinned, and for the first time in a long time, he was truly happy to be around another human being. "Thanks for listening, Arden. I know I kind of ruined your night."

Arden shrugged once more as she drained her beer mug. "What the hell did I have to look forward to? Another night trying to avoid getting hit on by some dude in ridiculously skinny jeans while wondering how I was going to get the smell of beer puke and cigarette smoke out of my hair? 




Getting Over Edie Ch. 03



Besides, helping you out of a crisis is bound to score me some major karma points with the Powers-that-Be." 

"I knew you had an ulterior motive" he joked. 

She chuckled. "Hey, I never said I was a nice girl." 

Grady nodded. "True. I'm expecting you to revert back to your former self the next time we meet." 

"I mean, I could start now if you'd like. I've been meaning to make fun of your outfit since the night started." 

He sighed dramatically. "And so it begins..."

"I'm just saying if you want to go through life looking like a reject from Phi Kappa Douche that's your business." She looked up at him, brown eyes sparkling with laughter. 

Grady felt that familiar tug and realized it was his lips trying to form a grin. It was weird to think about laughter after months of feeling like the world was combusting all around him. In that brief moment, he forgot about feeling sad. He felt like old Grady, even if only for a little while. 

"Oooh!" Arden exclaimed, hopping a little from her chair. "My phone's on vibrate," she explained, a sheepish grin on her face. Reaching into the front pocket of her jeans, she quickly read the text message. "Oh," she said. 

"Something wrong?" Grady asked. 

"No," she replied. "It's Stevie. Apparently the show's been over for almost two hours."

"Whoa. Where the hell did time go?" he asked. 

"No idea. But the band is already at the after party spot. I'd better call and let her know I'm not lying in a back alley somewhere." 

Grady nodded. "Yeah, I should probably head out. I've got some work to do."

"Okay." Arden reached for her wallet. We can split the bill..."

"No, no, no" he replied. "You helped me out tonight. I'll get this."

"Are you sure?" she asked. 

"Yeah, no problem. It's no big deal."

"Oh, okay. Well I should probably get going." She rose from the table. 

Grady stood up with her. "I'll just settle this up at the front." He glanced at her. "Thanks again, Arden. You really helped me tonight."

She nodded. "No problem. I didn't really help. Just listened. It's all up to you now. Thanks for the pizza. See you later." With a wave, she was off. 

********

Grady unlocked the door to his apartment. With a heaving sigh he shut the door behind him, leaning his bulk against the wall. Tonight had been a roller-fucking-coaster of emotions, to say the least. The shock of seeing Edie still left him feeling raw, and all the pizza and beer in the world wouldn't erase the fact that he missed her like hell. 

Maybe Arden was right; maybe the key to moving on was to examine his relationship. If he was a little more honest with himself he would be able to let go of all the bullshit and finally stop feeling like a damn zombie, trudging through life at a snail's pace. It was time to be upfront, to come clean. 

Shrugging off his hoodie, he walked the few steps to the closet in the hallway. He lugged out two giant blue bins and a small cardboard box. Kicking off his sneakers he sat down in the middle of his living room and with a big sigh, he opened one of the storage bins. He was instantly overtaken with the stale aroma of gardenias and peaches, the scent wrapping him in memories. 

Grady felt the familiar ache of longing and fought hard to keep his mind at bay. There was no time for that. He had a job to do. 

With a heavy sigh he continued the task; the boxes were filled with physical reminders of Edie: a bright green hairbrush she left in the bathroom, several pairs of jeans, t-shirts and a dress. Her signature scent was a faint imprint on every item. Grady set the clothes aside and focused on the other content of the bin. 

After digging through random cards and receipts he discovered the photos. There were at least a hundred. Edie was a fan of taking pictures. She was never one to miss a photo op and Grady was only happy to oblige. 

Scrolling through, he came across pictures of them at a winter festival in Connecticut. She was grinning at the camera, her hands snug in green mittens clutching a steaming cup of hot chocolate. It was a close-up shot, the camera capturing the caramel flecks in her warm brown eyes. There were several other shots, Edie making funny faces at the camera, the two of them frolicking in the snow, Edie throwing a snowball at the camera. 

He couldn't help but smile when he saw the picture of the giant teddy bear he won for her playing the ring toss. The stuffed behemoth, a red and black plaid monstrosity barely fit inside the car on the ride home but Edie was in love with him. She promptly christened him Baxter Plaidpants. 

There were other pictures. He watched their relationship progress through the seasons: summers spent at the cape, Thanksgiving with his family, and spring at the Mets' first game opening day. He laughed when he saw the photos of them dressed in his and hers sailor suits for a random "Night of Sea Men" Halloween party. There was a lot of history tucked away in those bins. 

He lost himself in the contents, poring over the paraphernalia that forced him to remember his time with the woman who, at one point, was his whole world. Two hours later, his hand scraped the bottom of the last bin. Grady's breath hitched in his throat and suddenly he found it difficult to breathe. 

His fingers closed around a small velvet box. He was shaking slightly as he brought the box into view. His back rested on the couch as he settled the box on his knee. He knew he'd run into this particular trinket eventually, but it still felt like a punch to the stomach. 

Grady opened the box, the small gold hinges creaking, the sound like gunfire in the silence of his apartment. It was still there; the small white gold band, the cluster of diamonds surrounded by an emerald. Emeralds; they were her favorite. 

Edie was always wearing green. It was her signature color. She said green was good luck; she was wearing a green dress when she nailed her first audition, had her first magazine shoot, and walked her first runway. Grady wasn't superstitious, but he could appreciate her ritual. 

His brain felt heavy, the weight of his emotions threatening to overpower him. He needed to let some of it out. Still clutching the ring box, Grady left the clutter and sat at his computer desk. He opened a new document window, staring at the blinking cursor. It was time to be brutally honest, he thought. It was the only way to be fully freed from the madness. With a chuckle at his dramatic thoughts he flexed his fingers across the keyboard...

********

It was the night of her fashion show. 

It's funny. When a relationship ends, we're in this state of momentary shock but it's also the point where we deny, deny, deny. There are so many reasons: we didn't see it coming, things were so good, or whatever pointless lies we tell ourselves to cover up the fact that most of us can pinpoint exactly where things went wrong. 

For me and Edie, it was the night of her fashion show. Things had been weird for a few weeks. She was always a little wound up before big events, but for some reason, this time felt different. 

There were a lot of late nights involved, full of industry parties, fittings, and reshoots. 

Normally I wasn't fazed. No matter how late or tired she was, she would always come home to me. 

But this time felt different. 

I hated going to her events. They were so fucking boring, filled with vapid, selfish models and pompous industry types. Sure, being in the media I know my fair share of ridiculous people but in fashion everything seems magnified, even the egos. But I had to suck it up. 

Tonight wasn't about how I felt. It was her time to shine. All I had to do was shove on the suit and play the dutiful and ever-attentive writer boyfriend. 

Edie loved to show me off. "Oh by the way, this is my boyfriend Grady Kade. The writer." It was her emphasis on the "writer" part which made me uneasy, as if by constantly restating that her boyfriend was a writer was enough to make her seem less shallow and frivolous. But because I loved her, I let it go. 

That's what love is, right? We know the faults of our partners, all the bad shit they hide from the rest of the world but we still love them any way. We're forgiving about a lot of shit we wouldn't normally put up with from our friends or family. 

I always felt like a prop with Edie at those parties, but it was a two-way street. Whenever I had to go to a function for work or a writer's convention it made me feel like top dog walking in with a model on my arm. Women were envious of her and men were jealous of me because Edie Silva was MY girlfriend. 

Nevertheless I was determined to be on my best behavior, to sip champagne and listen to talk about clothing patterns, eating disorders, and who was on what IT drug of the month. Tonight was supposed to be special, though. In a few days it would be her birthday. I was planning to surprise her with the ring, tonight. It would be a fitting end to her triumphant evening. 

I kept telling myself it wasn't an engagement ring, but calling it a promise ring felt a little too after-school special. It just was. I'm not sure what I was trying to accomplish by the ring, but I viewed it as a token of my love and a glimpse of what could happen in the future. 

I remember adjusting my tie and hearing REO Speedwagon. It was her. Whenever she had a show she always left earlier than I did, getting ready backstage with the other models. It was no big deal. I was a big boy and could navigate the city on my own. 

I'll always remember her tone when she answered the phone. I didn't notice it at the time, but now I recognize that voice as goodbye. She was leaving that night and I was completely oblivious. 

"Hey baby. I'm almost ready. I'll be there soon, I promise."

"Grady," she started. She was nervous. Even though she'd been in the U.S. for almost nine years, her accent was always more pronounced whenever she was nervous. Or upset. Or turned on. Or when she was lying. 

"What's wrong, Edie? Everything's going to be okay. You're gonna rock that shit tonight."

"I know things are going to go well. I just...something happened with your seat. They gave it away."

"What? How could that have happened?" 

"I don't know, honey and I am so pissed right now." Looking back I should have realized that she never actually sounded upset. "I'm just letting you know what's up. There's an after party at Bent. I will make sure you are on that list."

"It's okay, babe. You go ahead and enjoy your night."

"Are you sure? You know how much I love having you here with me."(Lies.)

"It's fine. I'll be here when you get home. I love you."

"I have to go. Make-up is calling for me."

She never came home that night. Later, in one of the raging arguments we had in those final days I found out she fucked one of the male models, the one she was always working with. She cried when she confessed, big fucking crocodile tears all the while blaming it on the alcohol and lines of whatever party favors that were passed around. 

I remember being so numb to her news. I knew something happened, when I woke up alone, her side of the bed completely cold. I knew she was pulling away from me. It started out small, awkward silences over breakfast, my accusatory tone whenever her phone rang. We just couldn't get past her cheating. I couldn't get past it. Something broke inside of me that chilly night in October. 

It's only now that I recognize the sound as the first real crack of my heart. 

********

Grady looked up from the computer screen, shocked to see slivers of early morning peeking through the blinds. Glancing at the clock on the desk he was surprised to learn it was seven-fifteen in the morning. Time always escaped him when he was writing. He blinked rapidly, blindly reaching for the pack of cigarettes and lighter lying on the desk near his laptop. He sighed tiredly, lighting the cigarette and taking a deep drag. 

It was rough, dredging up all the shit he'd been determined to keep locked inside forever. The hurt felt fresh, the anger was still running deep, and he still had the rampant desire to break shit the fuck apart. He wanted to smash something, tear shit to pieces, the symbolic representation of how he felt. 

He was torn at the seams, but the pain served its purpose. In some twisted way reliving that night and the weeks of hell afterward allowed him some sort of peace, the balm he lacked when ignoring the problem or trying to cover it up with alcohol and shitty food. 

He was spending way too much time with his thoughts. It was time to get out of his damn head and back into the real world. First things first, he needed cleansing, inside and out. Taking the cigarette from his lips, he stubbed it out in the glass ashtray on the desk. 

Grady retrieve several black trash bags from his kitchen. He tossed the cigarettes in along with the ashtray, his fingers already twitching from the absence of the nicotine. Ignoring the urge to dive in after the pack, he turned his gaze to the contents of the upturned bins. 

Grady knew what he had to do; he'd been walking with a ghost for far too long. It was time to put this relationship to rest. With a long sigh he gathered up all the stuff from the bins and stuffed everything into the bags. Every pair of jeans, every photo...all the keepsakes went to their respective bags. He put the clothes in a separate bag to donate, and the rest was garbage. 

It took him a full hour, walking around his apartment and retrieving every single item of hers. The sun was fully up now, shining through the windows and bathing him in new hope. Two trips to the downstairs dumpster and one trip to the Goodwill store three blocks down and he was finally free from his physical reminders. 

He yawned, jaw cracking in the quiet of the early morning hour. He had to be at work in three hours but his body was screaming for rest. He decided on the power nap, curling up on the couch. Grady barely set the alarm on his phone before his eyes were closed. 

********

Two Weeks Later...

"I hope you have more where that came from, because you're definitely going to need it." Nell shot him a wry smile as she shuffled some papers around on her desk. 

"What do you mean?" Grady asked. 

"What I mean is that this latest Go-To Guy article is a smash. There were 50,000 hits on the website for the piece and it's the talk on various blogs." 

Grady's blue eyes widened. "Whoa, really?" 

Nell nodded, pushing her white frame glasses further on her nose. "Grady, people are interested in what you have to say. And I, for one, want to give them the full experience. Isn't it time men have their side heard when it comes to love and loss?"

Grady agreed. He was still in a state of shock, but he definitely agreed. 

"I think we could really turn this into something big," Nell said with something Grady recognized as excitement in her voice. Now THAT definitely threw him for a loop. Nell was completely cool, never really showing a variety of emotion. "I'm going to need you to bring your A-game next month. Do you have any ideas so far?" 

"As a matter of fact, I do. How do you feel about me starting a blog?" 

Nell's eyes widened behind her white glasses. "A blog?"

He nodded. "Yeah. See, I figured I'd start a blog in conjunction to writing the articles. I'm making some serious changes in my life and I want to chronicle this journey."

Nell smiled approvingly. "Well, looks and brains. Welcome back to the creative world, Mr. Kade. I think a blog is a good way to build up to the monthly articles and create a line of communication between you and your fans. I look forward to reading it."

"Actually, I was thinking..."

"Yes?" she asked, her eyebrows arched in suspicion. 

"I was thinking...what if I made the blog the sole focus of the articles? I could turn several journal entries into one big column. It would really give the reader inside information. The articles wouldn't be carbon copies of the blog, but rather they would serve as a buoy to the blog."

Nell looked at him with a mixture of surprise and admiration. The look was quickly replaced with her usual 'no nonsense' visage. "Let's see how you manage to pull this on off," she said. With a wave, she dismissed him. "Oh, and have the first draft of next month's piece in my inbox by next Tuesday."

He nodded, giving her a salute and stepping out into the hallway, walking brusquely towards his cubicle. Amidst the congratulations and nods of approval from his fellow co-workers, he was feeling better than he had in months. The Edie purge in his apartment was working wonders for his piece of mind. 

While he'd thrown out that one pack of cigarettes, he'd realized going cold turkey probably wasn't the best idea and instead cut back to only one cigarette a day. After he got over the first two days of wanting to eat everything in sight, he bought a bunch of gum and resolved to stick to his guns. 

So far, it was actually kind of great. He felt much better, especially when he had to climb stairs. Huffing and gasping for air wasn't the look he was going for. 

Grady checked his watch. It was nearly three. Just for shits and giggles he decided to check the EDGE website to read the comments on his article. He was really surprised to see all the positive feedback. Men and women alike commented on his realistic analysis and heartfelt words. It gave him a surge of pride, to know that complete strangers were reading and connecting with his words. 

He couldn't help but wonder if Edie read the article. He promised himself that he wouldn't dwell on her, but in this particular situation he allowed his mind to wander. She was probably too occupied with her new boyfriend to pay his magazine any attention. 

Okay, he wasn't going there; whatever was going on with Edie was no longer his concern. He couldn't let thoughts of her consume him. There was hope of a normal existence beyond his breakup. He had to think positive. 

As if on cue, his cell phone began to ring. The new ringtone took some getting used to. It was the first step to "truly fulfilling his cosmic destiny", whatever that meant. Unconsciously, he nodded his head along to Jay-Z's "99 Problems". It was so damn true at the moment; he may have a lot to work on, but luckily a bitch wasn't one of them. "Hey homie," he said while answering the phone. 

Benny snorted. "I see someone's in a better mood."

"I'm getting better," he said with a nod. "What's doing?"

"Not much. Just thought I'd check in with you. It's been about a minute since I seen you." 

"Yeah, asshole. We were about to start calling around to the morgues in town. Where you been?" 

"Why? You the only one allowed to be anti-social?" Grady chuckled. "Touché. Seriously though, dude. Tony and I hadn't seen you in almost a week and a half. We were getting kinda worried."

"Well, keep your panties un-bunched, little girl. I was just taking care of some business."

"Mmm-hmm. What's her name?"

"Man, what are you talking about? There's no one! I just got a lot of things going on down at the shop." Benny co-owned an auto shop with his brother. "We've got a lot of custom orders in that I have to take care of."

"Sure buddy, whatever you say." Grady knew he wasn't telling the truth. Whenever Benny started off a sentence with 'Man' there was bound to be a bold ass lie following suit. Grady wasn't going to hassle him for it, though. 

Whatever (or whomever) Benny was hiding the situation would come to light at some point. "I'm gonna let you stay in whatever shit you're dealing with for now. But trust me, I'll find out what you're hiding."

Benny scoffed. "Listen here, Tom Brokaw, you need to be worrying about catching all the free pussy from that sappy ass article you wrote instead of concentrating on what I'm doing."




Getting Over Edie Ch. 03



Grady rolled his eyes. "Tom Brokaw isn't even a print journalist, you dick. Besides, catching pussy is the farthest thing from my mind right now."

Benny's gruff chuckle rumbled through the phone. "Listen, keep tonight open. I've got some plans for you."

"Oh no," Grady groaned. "Listen dude, I really can't handle another night of alcohol. My liver is going to stage a freedom revolution if I don't take a decent break."

"Nah, bro no drinking. I got you covered man. You're gonna like this, trust me. Listen, I gotta go but we'll meet up later. I'll call you later tonight and let you know the deets."

"Alright man, I'll see your bitch ass later." Grady pressed 'END'. It felt really good to talk to his boy. He felt like this was the first in a series of steps that were slowly but surely leading him to a much happier existence, or at least relief from the feeling he lovingly referred to as Walking Zombie Syndrome. 

The day practically flew by with a series of meetings and phone calls. When Grady finally returned to his little slice of cubicle it was nearly five-thirty. He supposed he could dick around the office for a couple of hours or just bite the bullet and return home. 

Without a second glance, he gathered his things and headed to the elevators. Today felt extremely productive and all he wanted was a cigarette and a beer. No cigarettes or spirits tonight, he chided himself. Tonight was sober and smoke-free Grady. 

The commute home took over an hour and a half. By the time he finally rolled up to his apartment, the New York sun was already bedding down for the night under a cluster of purplish-blue evening clouds. 

Grady climbed the steps to his building and was about to put his key in the lock when a strong hand gripped him firmly. "Jesus!" he exclaimed, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. 

"Hey there Hot Stuff," the gruff voice growled. 

"You got a purty mouth. I'm gonna butter your bread."

Grady rolled his eyes as his heart rate eased slightly. "Fucking Benny, man. You douche nozzle!" 

Benny appeared from the shadows, gasping for air amid loud laughter. "You...should have seen....your face," he panted. "Fucking priceless."

"Har har har" Grady replied sarcastically. "I should have gone with my instincts and knocked you on your ass."

"Now that I would like to see," Benny said as he wiped the tears of mirth from his eyes. "It was a joke, princess. Lighten up."

"Oh I'm light. I nearly shit my pants, but I'm alright. What the fuck are you doing lurking in the dark?" 

"I told you, we were going to do something tonight."

"Like what? Return the scare favor? What if I'd had been Mrs. Petrelli from upstairs? Would you really want the death of an old woman on your conscience?"

Benny rolled his eyes and stuffed his balled fists into the pockets of his grey hoodie. "Will you calm down? I knew it was you the entire time. I don't go around sneaking up on old ladies and random strangers."

"Obviously you've never seen yourself in action at a bar. You do some straight up sneaking-up-on-girls-like-a-damn-creeper shit."

"ANYWHO," Benny continued in a loud voice. "I'm going to need you to stop whining and get the hell upstairs. What you've got on right now simply won't do."

Grady was confused. He glanced at Benny's clothes. Along with the hoodie he was sporting black basketball shorts and black running shoes. With his scare tactic and creeper clothes he was definitely looking the part of a man to avoid. 

"Do? Do for what? Where the hell are we going and what the hell are we doing?" 

Benny's hazel eyes churned with irritation. 

"Listen, will you stop asking a whole bunch of useless ass questions? I'm not going to answer them. Just take your happy ass up those steps and up to your apartment so you can change clothes and so we can finally move the fuck on."

Grady was all set to grumble, but the maddening gleam in his best friend's eye told him to shut his cakehole and oblige. Grudgingly he walked up the steps with Benny close behind him. 

"Jesus Benny if I knew you were going to ride my ass all the way up I would have asked for breakfast first."

"Yeah, I don't think so chief." Benny replied. 

"The last thing you need is food. No joke, you are carrying some serious junk in the trunk right now." 

"Shut the fuck up," Grady shot back, unlocking his apartment door. 

"No seriously. I think you need to buy new pants. I can definitely hear the seams splitting on these. Oh shit! There goes another one. If I squint real hard I can actually see a hint of underwear." 

Grady tossed his keys and messenger bag on the counter. "Is there a point to all this lovely commentary or are you just trying to make me feel shitty about myself?"

Benny clapped him soundly on the back. "I'm just saying, dude. You used to be in shape; now you're kind of fluffy. But I'm here to help my boy get back to his fighting weight."

Grady shot Benny a look, his blue eyes suspicious. "What the hell are you talking about?" 

For the first time since he scared the shit out of him, Benny looked sympathetic. "Listen bro, I know you've been going through some shit these past months. Edie, man...she was a fucking head trip and the way she treated you was some bullshit. But you have to admit, you let yourself go. As your friend it's my responsibility to whip your bubble butt back into shape. I mean, come on dude. You're starting to make me look bad."

"No, I believe it's the Cheetos-inspired spray tan that makes you look bad."

Benny punched him playfully on the arm. "Be nice, dick. I'm trying to help you out. And for general knowledge purposes this isn't a tan. I have a natural olive complexion."

Grady rolled his eyes. "Yeah whatever. So where are we going?"

"I called in a favor with one of my buddies who works at Silver Gym."

"Silver?" Grady's eyebrow rose considerably. "As in Herman Silver, your uncle?"

Benny shrugged. "I said it was a buddy. Didn't say it wasn't a family buddy. Uncle Herman owes me a solid after I did some detail work on his Lexus. He's giving you a sweet discount."

"Gee thanks."

"Hey, try to sound a little more grateful. I thought you'd be happy."

Grady sighed. "I am, dude. I'm just a little stressed from writing. I do appreciate your help, though. To be honest I really didn't think too much about what I was going to do to improve my body. I've been so focused on fixing what the fuck's being going on in my head. 

"Hey I hear you, bro," Benny said with a nod. 

"But for now let's leave all that 'head trip psycho-babble bullshit' to Tony. Tonight we're working on your fitness." He wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Now will you please go and change out of those pants? They are seriously holding on for dear life."

*******

It was nearly an hour later by the time Grady and Benny arrived at Silver Gym. Grady was a little nervous but excited at the same time. It'd been a while since he stepped foot into a gym. When he was dating, he worked out at least three times a week. He wasn't a gym rat like Benny, but he did a little work—just enough to keep his bulky shape somewhat fit. He was proud of his thick arms and solid chest. 

Now he was more than a little doughy. The definition in his arms was softened and the solid thickness of his middle was pretty much a spare tire. 

"Come on man," Benny ribbed. "Stop looking at yourself in the mirror and let's get out there." 

He tossed a blue hand towel at him, landing it right on his head. 

"Yeah, you're just jealous I'm hogging the mirror. I'm sure there must be some reflective surface you can stare into for the next two hours."

Benny chuckled. "Whatever bitch." He stuffed their gym bags into one locker and slammed the metal door shut. "So I'm thinking we should do some cardio and then lift. We've got to get your endurance and stamina back."

Grady nodded. "Sounds like a plan." They headed out the locker room and down the hallway. "Dude, I really do appreciate this."

Benny shrugged. "No problem, man."

Thirty minutes later, he wasn't so sure about thanking Benny. In fact he was pretty sure if he could breathe he probably would have choked him out. He'd only been on the treadmill for twenty-five minutes or so but he was already sweating buckets. His legs felt like jelly and he was breathing like an emphysemic man on a respirator. 

Lifting the hem of his shirt, Grady wiped the dripping sweat out of his eyes. Sweet crispy Moses, he prayed. Please just let me get through this. 

"Come on Grade!" Benny shouted from the treadmill next to him. "We've only got five more minutes left. You can do this, man!" 

Grady shot him a murderous look. 

"If...you...don't...stop...with this goddamn Richard Simmons routine..." he panted loudly. He tried to finish his threat but was more concerned with trying to conserve his oxygen than promising to pulverize Benny. 

Benny chuckled. "It's alright, old man. We're almost done." Leaning over, he turned up the speed on Grady's treadmill. "Now push it, Fatty. Three minutes. Let's get it!" 

"Fuck!" Grady heaved. His body was screaming for him to stop. His lungs ached, his calves were on fire, and he was in desperate need of water. 

Grady closed his eyes, attempting to shut out the cacophony in the gym. It was only him and the treadmill; no Benny or anyone else. He tuned out the sound of the blaring rock music, the soft, heavy clink of the weight machines in the background, the televisions broadcasting random highlights from college sports games. It was just him, repeating the 'push push push' chant over and over in his head. 

When the treadmill suddenly stopped, he had to grab onto the handles to keep from falling. "What the fuck, Benny!" he growled. 

A sheepish grin spread on his handsome face. 

"Sorry bro. Just trying to get your attention." 

Grady flipped him the finger as he stepped off the treadmill. 

"I see you're back in form," Benny remarked with a laugh. "How do you feel, champ?"

He grabbed his bottle of water from the treadmill and gulped down half of it in one swallow. "I feel like I'm gonna hurl. But in a good way."

"Atta boy! Don't worry, that feeling will go away the more you work out."

"Benny, I've worked out before."

"Not the Benny Silver way. When I'm through with you, you're gonna look like the Man of Steel, dude." 

They both laughed. Benny chugged some of his water. "I'm so pumped, bro. We're gonna change the way you eat, the way you work out. It'll be fun. You're going to need an extra pair of hands to catch all the pussy that'll be coming your way." Benny's eyes lit up. "Speaking of pussy, I think I see something I like."

Grady rolled his eyes as he wiped his brow with his t-shirt again. "At the gym, Benny? Really? Dude you need help." 

Benny clapped him on the back. "The gym is a prime spot to pick up girls. Hot, sweaty chicks in tight clothes. It's Guido paradise. Look at the talent over there."

Grady's gaze followed the direction of Benny's finger. He had to admit, the chick had an amazing body, even though all they could see was the back. She was tall with slender curves, a generous ass scooped into tight blue shorts that barely came to mid-thigh. 

Her bright yellow tank-top was snug against her skin, showing off a slight hourglass figure. She was all leg too, miles and miles of taut cocoa-colored muscle and smooth skin, something Grady definitely approved of. 

He was surprised by his reaction towards the girl, but also pleased. After pining over Edie for God knows how long it was nice to know he could still appreciate the female form, especially if it wasn't his ex. "Alright perv," he said to Benny. "Let's stop creeping on some chick and get back to work. I'm pretty sure weights are next." 

Benny was unfazed, his hazel eyes glazed over in appreciation. "Yeah...I'll uh be there in a minute. I just want to see what she looks like." His eyes lit up when the girl gathered her long dark hair into a high messy ponytail, the actions making her already large breasts even more prominent.

"For fuck's sake man it's just a girl!" Grady slapped him upside the head. The loud noise, coupled with his raised tone made the girl stop and turn. Grady was momentarily shocked when he realized who it was. "Arden?" 

Arden's face lit up with recognition. "Grady? Hey!" she said with a wave. Gathering her towel and water bottle she sauntered over. "Hey dude," she said cheerfully. "I didn't realize you belonged to this gym." 

"Well, actually it's my first day."

"That's awesome! I'm so glad you decided to get back into shape."

"That's all because of me," Benny interjected. 

Grady rolled his eyes as Benny positioned himself slightly in front of Grady. He extended his hand to Arden. "Hello beautiful. I'm Grady's personal trainer. My name is..."

"Dude, I know who you are. And I know you know my best friend Stevie. You remember Stevie, don't you Benny?" The gleam in Arden's eyes was devilish and Grady couldn't help but laugh. Arden glanced up at Grady. "How are you doing?"

"Same shit, different day. Things are getting better. I'm starting a blog to be a companion piece for my columns."

"Sweet. I'll be sure to check it out." There was an awkward pause before Arden spoke again. "Well I gotta jet. I've got to work on a dance piece for class tomorrow. It was nice seeing you Grady. You look good." With a slight wave, she was off. 

"Well shit dude, if I'd known beforehand you were into that I would've backed off" Benny said with a sly grin. 

Grady shot him a look. "The fuck are you talking about?"

Benny continued to give him the 'yeah, right' look. "I saw what went down with you two?"

"Went down? With me and Arden? Are you mental?"

"Not mental, just observant."

"Yeah well your Inner Eye must have glaucoma. Nothing of any sort went down."

"Mmm-hmm. Whatever you say, bro. I know what I saw. She's into you."

Grady scoffed. "Whatever dude! She was just being polite." 

"Okay. We'll play it your way, chief. But I know what I saw." He waggled his eyebrows and Grady felt an overwhelming desire to punch him in the face. 

"Whatever. Now can we please get back to working out? I've got some work shit to take of whenever this is finished."

Benny shot him another smug look before nodding his head. "Whatever you say, man. Are you ready to pump some iron?"

Grady nodded. He'd agree to pretty much anything to get Benny to shut his damn mouth. Sure, Arden was noticeably kinder to him, especially after the night of the Love in Chains show. But this was the first time he'd seen her since that night. 

Truthfully, he'd been so consumed with cleaning up his life that he didn't have the brain space for her. But Benny and his goddamn teasing jump-started the wheels in his head. Did she really have a thing for him? 

Better yet, why should he even care?

********

Chapter Four is on its way! Be sure to check out my blog for updates and excerpts. Thanks lovelies!



Getting Over Edie Ch. 04



Author's Note: Well here it is! Thanks a million times for your patience. Life's been a jumble but I'm slowly sorting it out and getting back to what really matters. So here's Number 4. Happy Reading. Five is on the way. ~n4m. 

********

It sucks to start your life over. Whenever a relationship ends, it seems we finally notice just how much we alter ourselves and aspects of our lives to suit the needs of our partners. When I was dating, I was constantly aware of things: not leaving the toilet seat up or remembering to put my dirty underwear in the hamper instead of leaving it on the floor. 

Dating is an endless series of dates to remember like anniversaries and birthdays, and promises to keep. A good friend once told me that being in a relationship is a full-time job, and it's completely true. There's a lot of hard work that goes into dating in order to receive a payoff, be it marriage, kids, or whatever.

If dating is a full-time job, then I guess I'm back to the application process. I am excited about the process of cleaning up my life. I feel like I've been in a funk for so long I've forgotten how it feels to just let shit go and relax. 

Sure, I still think about E. That's not going to change for a while. But there isn't that longing, aching feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I think about not being with her. It's weird; whenever heartbreak happens, people always reassure you that the pain will eventually stop. 

That's exactly what you don't want to hear when you're in the thick of things. Most of the time that advice was dispensed when I didn't want to hear it. And I thought it was complete bullshit...until it wasn't. For some people it's gradual; the pain ebbs away slowly, a little piece disappearing daily. For me, it was a little different. I can't explain it; it just happened. 

I woke up one morning and...nothing. No pain. It was like the burden of my breakup was finally lifted off my shoulders. It was oddly relieving—and kind of itchy. 

It's all a part of the cleansing process, the art of removing unwanted and toxic elements from my life. Alcohol was the first part, next came the cleansing purge, and then the physical improvement followed soon after. 

Maybe it's the lovely weather, but I'm feeling brand new. Waking up and going about my day doesn't feel like a herculean task. I'm hoping this good feeling will last. 

********

"Oh my gosh! I read your blog all the time. You are Grady Kade, right? The Go-To Guy?"

"Yeah, that's me" Grady replied. He sipped on his iced pomegranate green tea and eyed the perky brunette woman hovering above him. 

She smiled before sliding into the chair across from him. "Oh my gosh, I knew it! I was talking to my friend Christine over there and I said 'that has to be him!' Can I just say that your picture does not do you justice? You are so hot in person!" 

She giggled before covering her mouth. "Oh my gosh I can't believe I said that. Christine tells me all the time to think before I open my mouth." She turned to her left. "Hey Christine!" she shouted brightly. "It IS him!" 

Although Grady cringed at her intrusiveness he couldn't help but smile at her bubbly infectiousness. "Well, it's nice to meet you..."

The brunette's hazel eyes widened. "Oh my gosh, I totally forgot to introduce myself. My name is Brea. Brea McEntire. I've read all of your writing."

"Uh, well thanks Brea. And it is nice to meet you, but I'm actually kind of meeting someone and they should be here soon..."

"Oh no, I've imposed. Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Christine says I have a habit of butting in where I don't belong." She jabbed a thumb in the direction of another brunette who was throwing Grady a pitying look and trying to bring her overly nosey friend back to their table. 

Grady shrugged. "It's cool. Nice to meet you Brea."

Brea giggled once more. "You are just so awesome in person. I can't wait to tell everyone I actually met you. My boyfriend hates how much I talk about you. He says that you're gay and the E in your story is really a dude. But he's an idiot." 

"Sounds like it." 

She giggled once more, and Grady smiled as well. 

"Alright I've kept you long enough. It was nice to meet you and good luck with the rest of the article. You are so brave, you know. And any girl would be lucky to have you." She shot him a huge smile before returning to her table, her friend Christine shooting her a disapproving look. 

With a chuckle Grady returned to his drink. Life was...well it was vastly improving. Starting a blog was a great idea. Within a month, he'd already had over 2 million hits and at least 100,000 followers. It was a weird thing, to be so linked in with an eager audience. People were actually interested in what he had to say. 

People were curious about his activities, and Nell encouraged his indulgence. He found himself being recognized in the most mundane of places, like coffee shops and even the men's locker room at his gym. 

It was definitely an awkward moment, having a grown man nearly nude and in tears, talking about how his fiancée left him at the altar and how Grady's situation helped him get through his own. 

It was an ordeal, but it made him realize just how important his story was not only to his recovery, but to other people as well. What a refreshing, yet absolutely daunting notion. He scribbled a few sentences in his notebook. 

"Writing the next great American blog entry?" 

Grady looked up to see Tony grinning down at him. 

"Something like that," he said with a smile. "Hey man. You're late." 

Tony nodded sheepishly as he took the seat opposite Grady. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"It's all good man. So what have you been up to? Feel like it's been a minute since I've seen you." 

"Since the night at the Ballroom. The Love in Chains gig." Tony shook off his black motorcycle jacket and red scarf. 

Grady nodded. "You know I'm not mad at you for that, right?" 

"Dude, I know." 

"Good. I was hoping that wasn't the reason why you were MIA." 

Tony shook his head. "Not at all. I don't know man. I figured with all that shit, with seeing Edie that night you just wanted a break from everything. I thought you needed some space." 

"I appreciate that, dude. But I think I've had enough of taking a break. Besides, it's been nearly five weeks since the Love in Chains show. Don't you think that was enough time? Why the hell would you leave me alone with Benny for so long?"

Tony laughed. "Alright, alright. I was a total asshole. But to be honest I've been really busy with work. Been doing studio sessions with Love in Chains. Figured you didn't want to be around all that." 

"Was...was she there?" 

Tony's brown eyes studied his best friend. "Do you really want to know the answer to that?" Grady pondered the question for a moment before shaking his head. "No, I guess not." He took a generous sip of tea. "How's the group?" 

"Not bad. There's raw talent, especially in Dax and Stevie. Dylan's a major fucking tool. Pretentious little shit." They both laughed. "So I see you've made some changes. Not covered in a cloud of cigarette smoke anymore." 

Grady nodded. He was grateful that Tony didn't go into any more detail about Dylan. "Yeah, I quit smoking again. For good this time." 

"Good for you man." He studied Grady once more. 

"You seem different." 

"Bad different?" 

Tony shook his head. "Nah. It's definitely good. You're not old Grady, but you're definitely not this Grady we've been stuck with for a while." 

"I suppose there was a compliment hidden in there somewhere." 

"You know what I mean. There's something positive in you, man. I'm digging it. I suppose it has to do with your newfound popularity." 

"Yeah, I just had to deal with some of my fan club earlier. It's nice; a little weird, but nice."

"You really are helping people, you know that." 

Tony shredded a piece of napkin between his fingers, his kind eyes studying the changed man sitting across from him.

Grady nodded. "I know. This is definitely bigger than me now."

"Kind of a daunting thought, isn't it?" 

"I try not to think about it too much. I just write, man. Just live and write." 

"Dude...who are you and what happened to the automaton that was my best friend?" 

They both laughed. "I'm still here man," Grady responded. "I promise. I'm just trying new shit. What's that saying—'Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.' I think my stay in Crazytown has been long over. It's time for a change." 

"Preach it sister!" Tony exclaimed. He shot Grady a sheepish look. "Sorry. I've been watching those damn Madea movies lately. Gemma really likes them." 

"Gemma, huh?" Grady cocked his eyebrow. 

Tony rolled his eyes. "Yes Gemma. We worked stuff out; at least we're working on it." He paused for a brief moment as if he were unsure how to continue; Grady could see that whatever was on his mind was bound to be really heavy. "She's got a kid, dude." 

That caught Grady off-guard. "Whoa."

"Yeah...that was my initial reaction when she told me. She was so standoffish because she was afraid, I guess. From what I gathered, things didn't end so well with the father. She's definitely been hurt before. "

"Shit, haven't we all? Join the club." 

Tony chuckled. "True story. She was also concerned because of my job that I wouldn't have time for her. It was some sort of preemptive strike, cutting ties before I could. It was bullshit, and I told her so. I like her, man. A lot. So I want to at least give it a go." 

"Wow," Grady said. "That's some real talk right there. Never really heard that from you before, at least about a girl." 

Tony shrugged, a small smile danced playfully on his lips. "Yeah well I've never had these feelings about a girl before. It's nice, knowing someone else gives a damn about you." He glanced up at his best friend. "You good, man?" 

Grady nodded as he drained the rest of his tea. "I'm fine. It's not going to kill me, listening to other people's stories. I'm happy for you, and Gemma. You're right; there's nothing like that feeling. If nothing else goes right, you'll always remember the way you felt in the beginning." He smiled to himself as he allowed a brief trip down memory lane. 

While he didn't want to dwell too much on Edie and the past, it was nice to recall the earlier times. It was all he allowed himself to do. Just a brief glimpse; nothing more. For the most part he was determined to keep looking forward. 

Tony gazed at his friend with something akin to admiration. "I'm proud of you man."

"Ah, c'mon man. Let's not make this into a Hallmark moment." He tossed a stray sugar packet at Tony's head, which he swiftly ducked. "I'm not trying to hug it out or anything. This is strictly a catch-up session." 

"Speaking of catching up, I'm having a party at my place tomorrow. You should come. Fair warning—some of the artists I work with are attending. There's a chance she could be there." His look was wary as he eyed him from across the table. 

"It's all good, dude. I'm a big boy. I can handle it." Grady checked his watch. "Well, my lunch break is almost over. I should probably get back to work. Thanks for meeting me." 

Tony shrugged. "No problem. And tell Benny to bring his ass tomorrow. I know for a fact he ain't doing shit." 

"Yeah about that...what the hell is going on with him?"

"You haven't seen him lately?" Tony asked. 

"Well we work out four days a week together but he's been ultra-secretive lately. I know something's going on and I keep meaning to figure out what it is but I've been so busy with shit I haven't had the time to play detective." 

"Yeah...it's been bugging the hell out of me. He's up to something." 

Grady nodded. "Most definitely. But whatever it is, we'll figure it out soon enough. You know his bitch ass could never keep a secret." 

Tony chuckled his agreement. "True story. Well I'll let you get back to work. I'll see you tomorrow at ten, okay?"

The two men rose simultaneously. Tony glanced at Grady, sizing him up. "Man, you have been working out with Benny. You look good." 

"Why Mr. Cho, are you trying to seduce me?" 

"Jesus, now I definitely know you've been hanging out with Benny too long" Tony said with a grin. 

"I'm just saying all your hard work is paying off." 

Grady smiled. "Thanks man. I'm feeling really good." And it was true. He was down thirty-five pounds and was feeling like a champ. With Benny's guidance and pushy, no-nonsense attitude in the gym he was massing and cutting like a pro. He wanted to keep his bulk and muscle but lose the flab and Benny was just the trainer to help him out. 

By cutting out cigarettes and eating better, he was able to shape up his midsection, which had previously resembled a spare tire. He looked good, and felt even better. 

Tony gave him a quick fist bump as they exited the coffee shop. "Tomorrow night at ten" he reminded him. 

Grady nodded. "Got it dude. See you then."

"Later, big guy." Tony signaled for a taxi as Grady started off for his office building. Grady put on his headphones while he walked, letting the sounds of Frank Ocean guide him the few blocks back to his job. His head bobbed along to the music, his steps falling into the beat of the song. 

He felt good, truly; the weather was steadily improving. The bitter cold of the January and February months were slowly fading away to pleasant coolness. It was a sure sign that spring was fast approaching. 

Shoving his hands deeper into the pockets of his grey military jacket, he quickened his pace. His lunch ran a little longer than he intended. He had a staff meeting in about twenty minutes and his lateness would surely earn him a disapproving glare from Nell. 

No matter how impressed she was with his current success he was sure it wouldn't save him from a good bitching out by his hard-nosed boss. 

Two and a half songs later he reached his office. As he reached for the glass double doors he noticed a figure standing inside the lobby. "Arden?" he questioned, making a beeline for her. 

Arden looked up from her cell phone. Her wide brown eyes lit up at the sight of him. "Grady, hey!" She shoved her phone into a large yellow purse on her arm before walking towards him. 

"Hey there," he said in response. "What are you doing here?" 

She slung her purse over her shoulder. "My friend Lindsay works in the building. I'm meeting her for lunch." 

"Oh, cool." For a brief moment he had a wild thought she was here to see him. He wondered where that came from. 

"Yeah. It's funny. I've been here maybe four or five times and I never realized this was the same building that EDGE magazine was in." 

"Small world, isn't it?" 

She nodded. "Indeed. You look really good," she said. Grady glanced down at his typical work outfit: casual black slacks and a light blue collared shirt underneath a thin navy blue sweater. 

"Thanks. Those gym sessions with Benny are really paying off."

"Definitely." 

He grinned. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't happy to see her. Since that time in the gym, he'd run into her a few times around the city but they were both usually rushing off somewhere that their interactions were reduced to a quick but friendly greeting and a casual wave. 

Grady had to admit, she definitely grew on him. He was interested in finding out more about her, but didn't exactly know how to approach things. She was dressed up, a change from her normal workout gear and dance clothes. Dark wash jeans tucked into tall black stiletto boots, and a yellow tunic under a black leather jacket. 

Her dark chestnut hair was partially hidden under a slouchy knit beret colored a shockingly bright shade of yellow. She certainly enjoyed her sunny colors. 

He found himself really studying her, and that kind of alarmed him. He needed to make a fast exit before he opened his mouth and said something unbelievably stupid. "Well, I suppose I'd better get back to work" he said. 

Arden grinned. "That's right. The minions of the Grady Kade fan club are expecting some stellar piece of profound-ness and we don't want to be disappointed."

He cocked an eyebrow in surprise. "We? Are you telling me you're a fan of my column?" 

"I may or may not check your blog every day for updates," she replied, trying to keep her voice nonchalant. She shrugged casually. "Maybe I stalk you online. No big deal."

His smile was slow and easy. "Should I be worried?"

"I don't know. It's not like I know where you live. Or do I?" she added mysteriously. They both laughed. Grady was going to be super late for his meeting but for some reason he didn't mind. "Hey, so I have to ask. Are you going to Tony's party tomorrow night?" 

Arden nodded, flipping her dark hair over her shoulder. "Yeah, I'll be there. Love in Chains has to make an appearance and Stevie wants me to tag along so she doesn't strangle Dylan and toss him out a window or something. I'll probably end up playing referee all fucking night." Her gaze met his. "Will you be there?" 

"I was thinking about it."

"Well you should go. I'll be totally bored and probably ready to pull my hair out in frustration. I'll need someone to take out my misplaced aggression on." 

"I take it that'll be me?" 

She let out a small chuckle. "What can I say? You're my favorite punching bag." Their eyes met once more and there was an unmistakable sizzle. 

Whoa, Grady thought. Where the hell did that come from?

He cleared his throat. "I, uh, should probably get going. I'm already late as shit for a staff meeting. My editor is going to kill me. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

She gave him a short nod. "Sounds like a plan." She reached out, her fingers squeezing his biceps lightly. "I meant what I said. You do look really good." She shot him a small smile and turned, heading out the glass doors, leaving Grady positively puzzled. 

As he rode the elevator up to EDGE's floor, his mind kept coming back to the first time they met at Silver Gym. Benny was sure she had a crush on him, but Grady was too focused on not passing out from exhaustion to bother with Benny and his bullshit. 

But now, after so many chance encounters and what he could only describe as "THE LOOK" he was starting to suspect that Benny wasn't so completely full of shit after all. 

He should have been shocked; after all, this was the same woman who was extremely irritating, to the point where strangulation was a strong, considerable option. They weren't very friendly to each other, but he could not deny the slight shift in their behavior. 

That night at Spagnoli's she was an attentive ear and the kick in the ass he needed to shift into gear. He thought they forged a somewhat pleasant acquaintance. Was it really possible she was feeling him? 

The elevator dinged loudly, signaling his stop. Grady tried to push thoughts of Arden from his mind and shift his focus to the task at hand. He was nearly ten minutes late to the staff meeting. Nell was going to kill him. 

********

Grady was running late...as usual. The digital clock on his cable box blinked 10:45 at him in an almost snobbish manner, chiding him for his lack of time management skills. It wasn't his fault; he was swamped with work stuff, editing his new blog entry, drawing the outline for his article, not to mention paying penance to Nell for being late to yesterday's meeting. 

After work, he headed to the gym for his normal session and by the time he finally got home and into the shower it was already after ten. 

He justified his lateness, reasoning that no one showed up to a party on time. And since it was just Tony, who was well aware of his downfall, it wasn't that big of a deal. He stood in front of his closet, trying to decide what to wear. Normally clothes weren't a big deal; while he took care in his appearance, he wasn't a diva. 




Getting Over Edie Ch. 04



But tonight was different. 

HE was different. It was a debut of sorts, and a small part of him wasn't ashamed to admit that seeing Edie seeing him this way was going to be a bit of a thrill. 

Blindly, he reached into the recesses of his closet, pulling out the closest pair of jeans. He paired them with a navy and green striped v-neck shirt before pulling on a simple black blazer. Grady shook out his curls. They were getting out of control. His hair was erupting all over his head. It was almost time for a haircut. 

Fifteen minutes later he was fully dressed and heading out the door, game face included. No drama tonight, he silently reminded himself as he hailed a cab. As he slid inside, his phone chirped with a text message from Tony. "Where the hell are you?" 

He quickly typed back. "On my way now. Got caught up, as usual. Be there soon."

Grady sat back, his gaze idly watching the lights of the city stream by. His mind was nowhere in particular, thoughts of mundane proportions floating through his head. He tried to keep his mind neutral to avoid an inevitable slide to what would occur tonight. Would she be there? How would she look? Was he supposed to care? 

No, he wasn't going to backslide into neurotic territory. He'd been doing well for the past month. Edie and his obsessive thought process were not going to ruin five weeks of hard work. 

Grady drew in a slow, steady breath before exhaling deeply. Everything was going to be okay. 

This was all just another test. 

Less than ten minutes later he arrived at Tony's apartment. He quickly paid the cabbie and scrambled from the car. "Hey there Tyson," he said, greeting Tony's doorman. The older man smiled and tipped his hat to Grady as he held open the lobby door. "Good evening, Grady. Loved last week's blog." 

Grady grinned. "Tyson I didn't know you read my stuff." 

Tyson smiled, his coal black eyes shining brightly in his tanned face. "Just started checking it out last week. My granddaughter is a huge fan. She's got a bit of a crush on you." 

"Well tell her I said hello, then." He gave Tyson a playful salute before stepping inside the lobby. Grady tapped his foot impatiently while waiting for the elevator; he wasn't sure why he was so jittery, but just chalked it up to nerves. 

He was kind of excited for people to see how much he changed. He looked good, and he felt even better. It'd been awhile since he could say something like that. 

Grady stepped out and headed towards Tony's apartment. He could hear the music thumping through the walls. Before he could knock, the door to the apartment flew open and he collided with Benny. "Whoa there big guy," Benny said. 

"Whoa yourself," Grady replied. "Where the hell are you heading to in such a rush?" 

"Uh...nowhere" Benny said quickly, closing the front door behind him. Grady noticed the guilty look on his face. Benny Silver was clearly up to something. "Gotta get some cigarettes. I'll, uh, be right back." 

He pushed past, but not before Grady noticed the reddish mark on his neck. It almost looked like— 

"Is that a hickey?" 

Benny let out a nervously high chuckle. "What? Man, come on...what? Man..." 

Grady shook his head. "Dude you are the worst fucking liar ever. You're going to have to eventually tell us what you're doing. Or should I say who." 

Benny rolled his eyes. "You're so fucking clever. Glad to see your shitty sense of humor has returned."

"Whatever. Don't turn this around on me." Grady tilted in head in the direction of Tony's apartment. "Wait a minute. Is she in there?"

"Man, what are you...man shut up." He punched Grady in the arm. 

Grady had never seen his friend look so ruffled. Benny was normally the one who talked shit, the guy who always had a damn joke at someone else's expense. But here he was, looking like a kid whose mother just caught him with his hand in the cookie jar. "She IS in there. Who is it?"

"Listen, you need to stop worrying about me. I'd be more concerned about what's behind that door for you."

"What are talking about?" 

Benny glanced at Grady, his normal swagger returning. "There's a hot ass chick in there asking about you every five minutes," he said with a smirk. "And no, it's not who you think. Now I'm gonna go get cigarettes. Be back in a bit." 

"Yeah yeah yeah. Hurry back. I'm sure your girlfriend is just dying to give you another hickey, because apparently we've time traveled back to high school where hickeys are in fashion." 

"Asshole. We'll see if you're laughing in an hour or so." He gave Grady the finger as he headed down the hallway. 

Rolling his eyes, Grady headed inside. The place was crowded with Tony's coworkers and various bands represented on the label. Grady glanced around the spacious living room, pretending as if he wasn't searching for her. 

Shaking those thoughts from her mind, he instead turned his focus to locating Tony. Walking through groups of people, he finally spotted him chatting with a tall blonde woman with a haircut that could only be described as 'mullet couture'. 

"Hey man," Tony said with a wave. "Glad to see you finally showed up."

"You know me, always on Princess Time." 

Tony laughed. "How could I forget? Grady this is Luna Phelps. She's in charge of marketing at Roqued Records. Luna, this is my friend Grady Kade."

The blonde extended her hand and Grady shook it firmly. "Nice to meet you." 

"Grady writes for EDGE magazine," Tony added. Luna shot him a look. "The women's magazine?"

"The very same." 

She glanced at him before shrugging. "Pity. You were kind of cute, in that whitebread kind of way." 

"Excuse me?" 

Tony tried to keep from smiling. "Luna, he isn't gay."

"You know, this is the second time I've been called gay this week. Not sure if I'm offended or flattered by it at this point." 

Luna shot him a sheepish grin, her bright red lips parting to reveal blindingly white teeth. 

"Sorry about that. I just assumed from the hair and the clothes that you were a friend of Dorothy." 

"It's cool. And I'm very much straight. I just write 'The Go-To Guy' column."

"Oh really? My one friend is completely obsessed with your blog. You're definitely not what I envisioned as The Go-To Guy." 

"What did you have in mind?" 

Luna shrugged. "To be honest, I didn't think you were really a guy at all. Half the time all those 'male perspectives' are written by women."

Grady nodded. "Yeah I know what you mean. But no, it's me. I promise." 

Luna grinned. She really was attractive, save for that ridiculous haircut. "I'll have to let her know." She winked slyly at Grady before sauntering off. 

Tony shook his head. "Your fan club is random and strange."

"I don't even know what to say, man. I mean my column was always pretty popular but now its reachability is spreading." 

"Isn't that a good thing?" Tony asked. 

"I suppose," Grady said with a shrug. "Oh, I completely forgot; as I was coming in, I ran into Benny..." 

"Wait, Benny's here?" Tony interrupted. "I didn't even know." He craned his neck, glancing around at the partygoers.

"Well he went out for cigs."

Tony raised a dark eyebrow in surprise. "Benny doesn't even smoke." 

Grady nodded, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "I know. But the best part: ol' dude's got a hickey the size of Michigan on his neck."

"What?" Tony sputtered, nearly choking on his beer. "A hickey? What is he, twelve?"

"That's what I said too!" Grady replied, his grin wide. "He practically ran down the hallway when I tried to question him about it, but not before he said to watch out. Apparently there's some hot girl in here who's been asking about me."

"I wonder who this chick is. And why the hell didn't announce he was here, that douche."

"I don't know. Gia isn't lurking around here, is she?"

Tony grinned. "Not as far as I can tell. And as for the girl asking about you, I can only guess who that is." His grin was smug and completely know-it-all. Grady was half-tempted to knock his beer out of his hand. 

"Well who is it?" His heart began to thump loudly. "It isn't...?" 

Tony shook his head. "I thought you weren't going there tonight?"

Grady dodged that question with a wave of his hand. "I'm just asking, is all. Who is it?"

"Oh! You're finally here," a voice said behind him. Grady turned, steeling himself for whoever it was. 

"Hey Arden," he said. His shoulder relaxed and he smiled, genuinely happy to see her. 

Arden grinned. "Tony told me all about your Princess Time. It's nice to hear that there are some men who take longer to get ready than most women." 

"I like to look my best," he said. She rolled her eyes, but continued to smile. 

"Well you look alright."

"Just alright?" 

"Fishing for compliments? What am I, your personal confidence booster?" 

"You, be nice? What is this, Opposite World?" Grady glanced around the room in mock confusion.

She giggled. "Shut up. I can be nice, you asshole."

"You do realize that statement was a perfect example of how not nice you really are." 

"The only thing I realize is that I'm awesome and you sir, are just jealous of my boogie." 

Grady glanced out of the corner of his eye at Tony, who was watching the exchange between the two of them, a curious expression on his face. 

"In the midst of stroking your own ginormous ego, you didn't even tell me how nice I look."

He gave her the once over, taking in her violet cocktail dress. It was short and strapless, cinching tightly at her bust and waist. Black tulle fanned out on the bottom, giving the dress an almost tutu-like appearance. 

Her gold accessories and shoes complimented her rich, dark chocolate skin perfectly. Her hair was pinned by a large gold butterfly, sweeping big, thick curls to the side, leaving her right earlobe bare. 

Yes, she looked good, fucking amazing actually. 

But he wasn't about to tell her that bit of information. 

"Ehh, you look okay." Grady could have sworn he saw a flicker of disappointment in her wide eyes before she snorted and waved her hand at his comment. 

"Whatever. I look awesome." She turned her attention to Tony. "Thanks again for inviting me." 

Tony grinned. "No problem. Any friend of Gemma's is a friend of mine. Besides, I know someone else who'd be disappointed if he didn't see you." He elbowed Grady in the ribs for emphasis. "Right buddy?"

Grady shot him the look of death, but Tony continued to smile as if he didn't see. "Well anyway, I should go mingle and pretend not to notice the abundance of people tramping through my home. I'll check back later to make sure there isn't bloodshed on my brand new carpet. You two play nice." 

Grady shot a scowling look at Tony's back before turning his gaze to Arden. "Do you want a drink?"

She shook her head. "No thanks. I've got to stay booze-free tonight. I have a performance coming up next week." 

"Performance? Really?"

Arden nodded. "Yeah. At the end of every session we do a showcase of the best pieces we worked on throughout the class."

"That's kind of cool. So you're going to be dancing?"

"Thanks, and yes. My class will be doing two choreographed numbers and I'll be performing a piece of my own." She was hesitant for a moment before glancing up at him. "Would you like to come?"

Now that caught him off guard. "Oh, I..."

"Shit, never mind. It's so last minute. You probably have something to do." 

"No, I don't. I'd love to come."

Her smile was so genuine, Grady was actually glad he said yes. "That's awesome. I don't care what they say about you, you're alright Grady Kade." 

"Don't let that secret get out. It'll ruin my tough guy reputation." 

"I think the Shirley Temple hair you're rocking is killing that particular reputation." 

Grady ran his fingers through his hair. "Hey don't knock the curls, woman. They are awesome." 

"For a six year old. If you start tap-dancing and singing 'The Good Ship Lollipop' I might crack a rib from laughing." 

He grinned. "I've actually been thinking about cutting it." 

"Really now? I think it'd be weird to see you with short hair."

"Weird?"

Arden shrugged. "Not a bad weird by any means. Just different." 

"Well I'll take that under advisement. So, how's the babysitting going?"

"So far so good. It's been pretty easy, seeing as how Dylan isn't here yet and I haven't seen Stevie for a while now."

A wild thought suddenly came to him. "Hmm."

"What?"

"I just had this crazy moment of clarity. You just said Stevie's been MIA for a while now, right? Well apparently Tony had no idea that Benny was even here. I ran into him when I showed up and he had a giant ass hickey on his neck." 

Arden shot him a look. "Wait...you don't think." She paused before scoffing. "No. No, I don't believe that. Stevie would never..."

"Ahh but they already have, remember? The night we first met."

She was silent for a minute, letting his words sink in. "That little skank" she said, shaking her head. 

"Which one" Grady joked. 

Arden rolled her eyes. "Very funny."

He jostled her. "Come on, Arden. You have to admit it's pretty damn hilarious. I mean, they're complete opposites."

"It's just so...random, I don't know." She was quiet for a minute, her mind seemingly lost in thought. "You know now that you mention it, Stevie has been acting a little off. I thought it was shit to do with the band. It totally makes sense now." She made a face. "Eww."

"I'm inclined to agree," Grady said. 

"Stevie and that meathead...so weird" she said with a shudder. "But Tony and Gemma are freaking adorable." 

Grady nodded. "Yeah they definitely are." His blue eyes scanned the room for Tony, spotting him chatting with a guy sporting serious ink on his arms. Gemma was at his side, her hand resting in the crook of his arm. "I had no idea Gemma had a kid."

"Oh yeah. Milo. He's five years old and a total sweetheart. I'm actually glad she finally talked to Tony about him." 

"Really?"

"Yeah. Gemma's been in a really shitty situation Milo's dad is a little tough to deal with, and I think Tony's the right guy to remind her that good things can happen." Grady noticed the slight break in her voice. He also noticed that she wasn't meeting his gaze. 

"Hey, are you alright?" 

Arden shook out her shoulders. "Ahh, I'm good. Just feeling nostalgic, I suppose." 

"Yeah, I know what you mean..."

She paused for a moment before speaking. "Were you...were you expecting Edie to be here?" 

"To be completely honest, I really don't know what I was expecting. I guess." He sighed. "I don't know. Part of me wants to see her because I want her to see how I'm doing without her. The rest of me would rather avoid her for a lot longer."

"You know you don't need validation from her, right? You're doing a great job, Grady..." She stopped herself. "I'm sorry. I'm doing it again, overstepping." 

"No, no, no" he said quickly. "You're fine. I just...I guess I'm just a little wound up. Maybe I am more affected by this situation than I realize." 

"I think you're fine. Sometimes we hype shit up in our heads but in reality, things aren't always what they seem." She touched his arm, her fingertips lightly grazing the soft material of his blazer before reaching down to give his hand a slight squeeze.  

Grady was sure it was more out of reassurance than flirting, but he couldn't help the shiver that ran down his spine. Despite his initial misgivings, he was now convinced that something was amiss. 

Stevie sidled up to them, her eyes darting around the room. Grady tried to scan her discreetly, looking for hickeys but couldn't find any visible marks. He'd never really paid attention to her before, but she was actually kind of pretty; darkly gorgeous, to be exact. 

Her short black hair was styled in a feathery fauxhawk, short on the sides and long on top. She was dressed in black combat boots, dark skinny jeans, and a long, tight black tank top. 

"Hey pumpkin," Arden said. "Is everything okay?" 

Stevie rolled her eyes. "You're not going to baby me all night, are you?" 

"No. You just look a little ruffled. Dylan giving you shit?" 

Stevie shook her head. "He's not even here yet, thank fuck. Probably being held up by that plastic twat he calls a fuck buddy." She winced as Arden jabbed her in the ribs with her elbow, her head cocked in Grady's direction. "Fuck, sorry dude. I forgot she was your ex." 

Grady shook his head, his corkscrew curls falling into his eyes. "No it's cool. No need to censor yourself around me. I definitely know firsthand how Edie can be."

Stevie shrugged. "Yeah well whatever the case, he isn't here yet and my nerves can finally be at rest. He's annoying the shit out of me; Dax couldn't care less, he's just about the music and getting this album together. Meanwhile I'm the one stuck with Dylan and his fucking ego."

Arden's gaze traveled beyond their little trio as Benny entered the main room, his eyes darting around as if looking for someone. She watched as he scanned the crowd before his gaze landed on Stevie. He grinned lasciviously and started over before he stopped suddenly when he noticed Arden watching him. 

She smiled and shook her head as he stood still, trying to decide what to do. Arden turned back to Stevie. "Don't be alarmed, but I think someone's looking for you." 

"What are you talking about?" Stevie asked. 

"There's a guido standing about eight feet away, looking incredibly lost."

Grady scanned the room. "Benny's back?" 

Arden nodded. "Yup. And it looks like he was going to come over until he saw us standing here."

"Why the fuck would he come over here?" 

Arden shot Stevie a knowing look. "I have NO idea why he would come over. But the look he had on his face earlier, he seemed very determined to make out with someone, and I'm sure that person wasn't Grady."

Grady stifled a chuckle as Stevie shot Arden a dirty look. "What are you implying?"

"I'm not implying anything," Arden replied, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. "I'm just saying boy was looking all eager until he saw me standing over here."

Stevie rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. If Dylan shows up, let me know." She turned sharply on her heel and stalked off. 

Both Grady and Arden watched as she walked past Benny, who waited a beat before following her out of the room.

Arden chuckled. "Oh god I think you may be right. They are definitely doing something together."

"It's so weird; I've never seen Benny this ridiculous about a girl before. Normally he's the one who sits back and lets them come to him."

"Yeah, well maybe he actually likes someone this time." She glanced up at him. "You think we should call them on it?"

Grady shook his head. "Nah, let them have their fun. I don't want to bust their balls so early in the game."

"Maybe you're right. It's kind of nice to have a secret like that, I suppose."

"Like...secret lovers?" 

"Clandestine affairs, notes left in brick walls, lots of longing looks standing on cliffs overlooking frothy grey oceans....you know, Secret Lovers." She sang that last part, her voice cracking loudly.

Grady smiled, shaking his head. "Dude, you are so strange." 

Arden smiled as well. "You have no idea."

The next hour was spent schmoozing and boozing with the various and plentiful partygoers. Grady had to admit, he was having a pretty decent time. The music was great, the drinks were amazing, and Tony's industry friends were good company. 

Every so often he would catch Arden's eye from across the room and they shared a small smile. Okay, there was definitely something there. She caught his eye again and made a funny face. He chuckled into his beer, sputtering slightly which made her giggle. 

Grady turned his focus back to the discussion he was having with a group of Tony's coworkers about books when he heard a loud noise across the room. 




Getting Over Edie Ch. 04



"What the fuck, dude?" The loud exclamation made both Arden and Grady look up. 

It was Stevie, standing at the front entrance. 

She looked positively pissed off. Arden caught his eye and nodded towards the door. Excusing himself, he joined with Arden as she made her way to Stevie, who was still fuming. 

"Stevie what's wrong?" 

Stevie gestured towards the doorway, where Dylan was currently leaning awkwardly. He looked hammered. Stevie rolled her eyes in disgust. 

"Come on man. Are you fucking kidding me right now? Look at you!" 

Dylan glanced at his bandmate, the drunken and drugged haze making it hard for him to concentrate. "What is your problem?" he asked, his voice gruff. "Why are you yelling?"

Stevie gritted her teeth. "We're supposed to be mingling with these people. They're trying to promote our music, and here you are, hours late and fucked up beyond belief. What the fuck did you expect me to say?" 

Dylan waved her explanation away, before slipping his black Wayfarer sunglasses over his eyes. 

Stevie looked ready to snatch him up by the scruff of his collar, but luckily Dax got there first. "Chill girl," Dax said calmly, his light green eyes settling on Stevie. "I got this." Ever the peacemaker, Dax shifted Dylan so that the bulk of his wiry frame was resting on him. 

"I'll take him outside to get some air." He casually walked Dylan across the room, ignoring the curious stares of the party guests to the balcony on the opposite wall. 

Stevie whipped around to face Arden, her dark features scrunched in a scowl. "This is fucking bullshit. We're supposed to be making a good impression on these people and he's ass wasted."

"Pretty sure he's also coked out of his mind too," Arden said offhandedly. 

"Not helping," Stevie said. 

"Come on pumpkin. I'm sure no one even noticed how fucked up he was. Look, no one's even paying attention now." 

She was right; As Grady scanned the room he noticed people were back to their original positions, talking and behaving as if Dylan's immature ass didn't make a damn scene. 

Stevie sighed. "I guess so. I just don't need this shit right now." She pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. "He's so fucking stupid. I mean he always was, but now that he's dating that twit..." The rest of her sentence died on her lips as Edie sauntered into Tony's apartment. 

Grady felt his heart quicken at the sight of her. 

It wasn't how he expected; he thought when he'd see her again that his stomach would lurch and he would feel like he was going to throw up. But this, this wasn't dramatic at all. She did look pretty good, albeit a little drunk and maybe a little more than that, but no worse for wear. 

She was wearing a bright green and silver cocktail dress with matching shoes. Her caramel colored skin was tan and shimmering, and her dark hair was tousled carelessly in loose beach waves. 

Stevie rolled her eyes, barely concealing her dislike. "Of course. Of fucking course. What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm here to support my boyfriend and his artistic creativity," Edie replied snidely. 

Arden gulped audibly as Stevie's looks morphed murderously. "Come again? His 'artistic creativity'? That motherfucker can barely string two complete sentences together and suddenly he's the fucking genius behind this whole thing? Get the fuck OUT of here with that bullshit. Whatever shit you snorted in the cab must be really fucking good if you think that piece of shit has any creativeness in him." 

Edie shooed away her comments with an impatient wave of her hand, which only seemed to enrage Stevie more. "I don't have time for this," she snapped, her accent thickening. "Where is Dylan?"

Arden pointed in the direction of the balcony. "He's outside getting some air, although I'm hoping Dax was smart and just pushed him over the edge. I doubt anyone but you would miss him."

Edie pretended to ignore that as well, starting for the balcony when Grady suddenly spoke. "So you're going to pretend like you don't see me here." 

She eyed him warily. "What?" 

The look on his face was incredulous. "What? Really? That's all you have to say is 'what'?"

Edie rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, I don't speak to the press without my publicist present. Excuse me, I have to go find my boyfriend." With an expert turn on her heel, she sauntered past them, leaving Grady positively shocked.

Stevie was the first to speak. "What the fuck did you see in that hellbeast? Does her pussy shoot out gold bars?" 

Grady should have been pissed; her brush-off was ignorant and ridiculous. Shaking his head, he turned his gaze to Arden. "I have to get the fuck out of here." 

Arden nodded understandingly. "It's cool. I need to leave too. I've got an early rehearsal tomorrow. Can we walk out together?" 

He shrugged casually. "Whatever. I just know if I stay here any longer I'm gonna wind up saying some ignorant shit and I don't want to cause another scene."

"I hear you." Arden glanced at Stevie. "Are you going to be okay to get home?" 

"Yeah," Stevie replied. "I'll leave with Gemma. If she's staying with Tony though, I'm sure Dax wouldn't mind giving me a ride home. I'll see you later." She gave Arden a quick hug. 

Arden turned back to Grady. "Are you ready to go?"

"Fuck yes. I'll tell Tony goodbye some other time." He headed out the door, with Arden close on his heels. They were silent as they rode the elevator down. It was only when they were outside did Grady finally speak. 

"What the fuck was that?" 

Arden shook her head. "I honestly don't know." She stretched out her arm, hailing a cab from the busy street. "Wanna share? We don't live too far from one another." 

Grady nodded, opening the car door and stepping aside so she could get in. He slid in after her, shutting the door with a forcefully. He listened as Arden gave the driver her address, but his mind was still reeling. So this is how she wanted to play the game, he thought irritably. "Fuck her," he cursed aloud. 

"Don't worry about it, Grady" Arden replied. "Who knows what she was fucked up on." 

He shook his head. "I'd liked to say that was the result of a really good coke high, but sadly I'm pretty sure that's just naturally Edie." 

"You think maybe she's seen your stuff?"

Grady scoffed. "I have no doubt she did, given her shitty reaction." He was quiet for a moment. 

He couldn't really fault her for being upset; after all, this was her story too. And he knew from the moment he told Nell to run the first article that Edie's reaction wouldn't be in favor of the idea. Well he didn't give two shits. It was thrilling and completely satisfactory to piss her off. 

So why didn't he feel like celebrating?

He felt the tips of Arden's fingers brush the top of his hand. When he glanced down he realized she was just picking up her gold metallic clutch. His heartbeat, which jumped slightly, returned to normal. Well that was odd, he thought. 

"Are you okay?" He looked up. She was gazing at him, unsure how to read him. 

He shrugged. "It's whatever. I guess I'm still trying to process what exactly happened."

"I hear you. I should probably text Stevie and see if things are alright." She opened her clutch, shifting some stuff around before exclaiming loudly. "Fuck! I think I left my phone." 

"Where, at Tony's?" 

She shook her head. "No...at least I don't think so. Oh wait. I think it's at the dance studio. I changed over there before going to Tony's. It must still be in my classrooom." 

"Well do you want me to come with you to get it?"

"No you don't have to do that."

"I don't mind. Besides, it's late as shit and you shouldn't be walking these streets alone at this hour. Especially with the way you look."

She smiled, her wide grin lighting up her face. 

"Oh yeah? And how do I look?"

"Like an expensive escort." His grin was sly as she slapped him playfully on the arm. 

"I look fucking awesome. Admit it. Go on and say it. Say 'Arden, you look fucking sexy'." 

Grady rolled his eyes dramatically but complied. 

"Arden, you look fucking sexy." 

She grinned. "Now was that so hard?"

His eyes lowered as the tip of her pink tongue peeked out from between her full lips, wetting them slightly. 

He shifted. When the hell did the simple act of licking one's lips become soft-core? Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the fact that he was in close proximity with an actual, warm-bodied female but he was definitely feeling some kind of way. He tried to play it cool as Arden informed the driver that they were headed for a different location. 

It took them another ten full minutes of a silent cab ride before they reached Madam Dauphin's Dance Studio. Arden took out a jumble of keys from her clutch, shifting through a few before finding the right one for the lock. She opened the door and stepped inside, with Grady right behind. 

"It's just down the hall here, my classroom" she said reassuringly. They walked brusquely down the darkened corridor before turning sharply to the left. Arden unlocked another door, this time a large wooden one. 

Grady looked around. The dark room was large, with a panel of giant windows on the wall facing the door. The bright moonlight shone through, illuminating the room slightly. On the adjacent wall a broad mirror spanned the expanse, with a wood ballet barre in front. 

A wall of cubbyholes faced the mirror on the opposite wall. Arden flitted over to the cubbyholes, searching quickly until she remarked "Aha!" and held up her phone triumphantly. "Thank god!" she exclaimed. "I'd feel totally lost without my baby."

"I hear you." 

She stepped out of her heels, placing them in the cubbyhole and taking out a pair of simple black ballet shoes. "I'm sorry, but my feet were killing me. I love heels, but I'm definitely more comfortable wearing flats." 

He smiled. "You look great in heels." 

She returned the smile. "Thanks. But I could never do this in heels." Turning her feet out into first position, she balanced gracefully onto her toes before completing a small waltz step. 

Grady whistled. "Very nice." He clapped dramatically, which made her grin. "Show me more of what you got, Finch." 

"I don't give it away for free. That's what the show tomorrow is for." 

"Well give me a preview." 

She curtsied, her feet still en pointe. "As you wish." She began a series of dance steps. Grady watched intently, his eyes never leaving her body. She twisted, flexing taut muscles. Her limbs and her movement was strong, yet she maintained a feminine grace and fluidity that was nothing short of sexy. 

Yes, sexy. When she executed a series of pirouettes her clip flew from her hair, releasing her ponytail. She became a whirl of purple and tangled curls. 

He was fascinated. She oozed confidence but it wasn't her normal cocky demeanor. This was smoldering. He felt inexplicably drawn. Grady could feel something stirring deep down, something he never thought he'd feel again. 

Grady Kade was turned on. 

Arden ended her demonstration with a large leap, coming to stand a few steps in front of him. She panted slightly, a large grin on her face. Her limbs glistened with the result of her impromptu exercise. She felt the rush and excitement of her performance. "Well, what did you think?"

She noticed something was slightly off in his gaze. His vividly blue eyes were positively glowing in the dim light of the room. She couldn't read his look. It hovered between uncomfortable and something she couldn't place. 

Arden stepped forward. "Are you okay?" she asked, wondering silently why she sounded so timid.

"I...wow. You're fucking amazing," he finally said. 

"Aww, thanks. It was nothing, really." 

Grady shook his head, the same dazed look on his face. "No it was definitely something. The way you move...you're...you're beautiful." 

It was as if he were really seeing her for the first time. And to be honest, it probably was a first. He supposed he never really paid too much attention because after all, she was probably the most obnoxious person he'd ever met. 

But here, in the dim light of a room that still carried a faint aroma of sweat and shoe leather, she fucking radiated beauty. 

The bitter dark chocolate skin glowed from a fine sheen of sweat now covering her body. Her chest was heaving slightly, her chestnut hair sitting wildly about her shoulders. She glanced up at him with those wide brown eyes and something inside him snapped. 

Grady went in for the kill, closing the gap between them. His hand reached out, snaking around her waist and pulled her close. She was tall; he liked that, the top of her head brushing his chin. He tilted her chin, forcing her to look at him. He wasn't sure what she was thinking, but he could see the dim flame of want in her eyes. 

That was all the go-ahead he needed. 

His lips connected with hers, so lightly it almost didn't feel real. She sighed softly, the warmth of her breath urging him forward. He brought her closer, pinning her body between his arms. The kiss deepened. It was as if he was no longer in control. He thought he would have been rusty, but soon discovered his body knew exactly what to do. 

Arden was eager too. At first caught off guard, she quickly regained her wits. Grady felt her sink deeper into the kiss, her lips and body relaxing and allowing him entrance, which he eagerly took advantage off. He nibbled her plump bottom lip and she moaned, pulling him closer. 

Her hands sought the cornsilk softness of his curls, her fingers weaving a path before tightening almost painfully in his locks. 

Grady was on overload. He couldn't think. All his body could process was more. More tongue, more touch, more skin, more of her. Something was brewing inside him. His head filled with naughty visions of all the things he wanted to do, none of them involving clothes, but all them involving at least two full hours of exploration time. 

He kissed her frantically, their tongues battling one another. She gave as much as he did, and that excited him. He was scared where this may lead but part of him was begging for the opportunity to go, to taste what lay beneath that cocky Arden demeanor. She would be a wild ride, for sure. Almost as wild as...

Edie. 

That thought stopped him cold, as if a deep frost had fallen on the moment. Gently, he detached himself from her and tried to ignore the look of confusion tinged with hurt on her face. 

What was there to say? He was afraid to look at her; the chemistry between them was too palpable to ignore. It pulsed loudly in the darkness of the dance studio, ringing loudly in their ears. 

They both wanted more than was offered, but the uncertainty of the after proved too much to handle. 

Grady ran a hand through his hair and was surprised to see that he was shaking. He dared to sneak a peek at her and saw the torment on her face. She was torn, just as he was. The whole situation was confusing. He needed to get the hell out of there, before he did something he desperately wanted but would regret. 

"I should go," he rasped as he finally found his voice. 

Arden nodded vigorously. "Yeah." Her voice was barely above a whisper. 

As he turned to leave, she tried to speak again but he stopped her. "Let's not, okay. Just...let me go." 

He slinked out the door, practically ran down the corridor and out onto the sidewalk. He took a long deep breath and tried to stop his mind from overheating. 

What the fuck just happened?

********

Don't you just love when life throws a monkey wrench into your plans? Dear Readers, something has happened that is bound to have serious consequences. 

I didn't see this coming, not at all. And now I'm stuck here, in this giant fork in the road, wondering what my next course of action will be. Should I continue down my original path, trudging along and enjoying my stroll down Ignorance Lane or do I Man Up and take the road few would dare to travel? 

That road is downright terrifying and will undoubtedly keep me on my toes but there's a possibility it will lead me somewhere I did not want to be. Or maybe, just maybe it will turn out to be the right road all along.

Decisions, decisions...

I have really landed myself in the shit this time. 



Getting Over Edie Ch. 05



The acrid taste of the cheap whiskey burned his throat as he tossed his head back, letting the alcohol slide down, leaving a sloppy trail of fire in its wake. Grady hissed sharply before pounding his chest. The pain was divine. 

He needed this. 

Lifting the bottle to his lips, he drank deeply yet again. It was a fairly large handle but he was determined to finish every last drop. He was going to drink so much and so fast the dark thoughts whirling through his head would slow down and turn to sludge, congealing in his cranium while forcing him to think about what was currently torturing him.

She was late. 

His eyes scanned the room before landing on the digital clock perched precariously atop a makeshift tower of file folders and way overdue library books. It was two a.m. and she was FUCKING LATE. 

Another large swig of the alcohol temporarily soothed the anger bubbling under his skin, threatening to break free. Grady tried to calm himself down. He tried not to be the angry and jealous boyfriend. They were moving forward. They were supposed to be in a circle of trust. 

Well fuck the circle; Edie was a lying bitch. She was out giving HIS pussy away and he was just supposed to sit there and practice deep breathing or some shit like that. How was that supposed to help him fix his broken life?

He wasn't drunk at all; in fact, he'd only had two swigs from the bottle. It was only forty-five minutes ago he was fast asleep when his hand reached out for her. His blue eyes opened in confusion as he glanced at the clock on his nightstand. 

She was supposed to be home hours ago. Instead of her lithe frame wrapped sensuously around him, Grady was left with cold sheets and an empty heart. 

Grady dragged himself from the bed and padded down the hallway, in the vain hope she was just sleeping on the couch. It was her new habit, bunking on the sofa. The sight of her lying serenely on that damn thing, her back to him...it was a visual manifestation of what his head already knew: she was pulling away. 

But she was not there. The sofa was as empty as their recent conversations. There was a time when he would tell her everything. Now he was living with a stranger. 

He didn't want to think. He wanted to drown out the voice in his head that taunted him, whispered black thoughts, coaxed dark images in his head of Edie fucking someone else. It's happened before, the voice hissed nastily. She's done it before. The model; he should have known. The fucker who thought he was God's gift to women everywhere. 

Fucking pansy with his light skin, light eyes and that goddamn pretty-boy smile. The fucker was forever touching Edie, even in front of Grady. He was an absolute fool; he should have seen the signs. 

Well he wasn't going to play the cuckold any more tonight. 

Tipping the whiskey bottle, Grady drank deeply before setting it down on the coffee table. He was finished with the bottle. He was going to wait, as long as he had to, for her to bring her ass back to this apartment. She wasn't going to play with him any longer. 

It felt like hours before he heard the keys opening the various locks. The door slowly creaked open, as if she were trying to keep quiet. How generous of her to not wake him up after fucking around on him. 

He was so lucky to have such a considerate girlfriend. 

Grady watched as she tiptoed into the house, slipping out of her stilettos. He knew she was going to leave them in the hall; she always did. He was forever tripping over her goddamn shoes because of her habit of kicking them off whenever she stepped inside the apartment. 

He knew she'd head for the bathroom first. Gotta wash of the scent of pretty boy so your dipshit of a boyfriend won't suspect a fucking thing, he thought bitterly. Without thinking, his hand reached out and turned on the lamp perched on the end table next to the couch. 

The illumination stopped her in her tracks and she turned. "Grady?" she called out. 

A short moan nearly escaped, but he pressed his lips tightly together. She had the voice, and he knew right away what she'd been up to. He could hear the syllables of shameless sex ringing heavily through the room. 

Grady tensed as her footsteps drew closer and when she stepped into the living room, his eyes locked on her. 

"What are you still doing up?" She really had the goddamn nerve to ask him that. 

"Trying to diffuse a bomb," he muttered, the bitterness in his voice so heavy he flinched at the sound. "Where have you been?"

"Shooting ran longer than intended. I had to stay late." Her golden skin shimmered in the warm light from the lamp. He could practically feel the glow from the post-sex euphoria radiating from her pores. 

"Yeah," was all he said. His reddened eyes stared back at her, refusing to look away. Her gaze was sharp, searching his with such intensity it almost made him uneasy. Anger bubbled deep inside, hot and hostile. Who was she to look at him so accusingly? HE wasn't the one who'd just crept into the house like a goddamn thief. 

Grady's fingers itched to curve around the bottle of whiskey but he knew it was a bad idea. His head was already throbbing, partly from the alcohol and mostly due to frustration. It would only exacerbate an already intense situation. 

"Why are you still awake? Don't you have an early meeting tomorrow?"

"No. That was today. If you'd been paying attention you would have realized that." He knew he was being an über-dick, but he didn't care. If she was going to traipse around and flaunt her infidelity in his face, then he had to do something. 

Edie sighed. "Whatever, Grady. It's late and I don't feel like getting into it. I'm going to take a shower." 

"What's the rush? Come here; sit down and talk to me." He patted the empty space next to him. 

"Grady, I don't have time for this. I'm tired and I just want to take a hot shower and go to bed..."

"And I said sit down," he countered. It was a struggle to keep the snarl from his voice. 

"Unless of course you don't want to talk to me."

She rolled her eyes, which added fuel to his barely contained anger. "Why wouldn't I want to talk to you?" She still hovered in the doorway. 

His laugh was gruff and sardonic. "I can't remember the last time we said more than ten words to one another. This is the most I've heard from you in weeks."

"What do you want from me?" Her tone was snippy. 

She was getting defensive. Good, he thought. He wanted the argument; he craved that fire, that heat of flaring emotion. Grady missed those feelings. They had so much intensity, so much passion for one another. What the hell happened? When did the spark fizzle out?

Grady no longer saw the light in her eyes when she glanced up at him. No, that light was gone, snuffed out and replaced by a glazed look of darkness. Somewhere along the way she stopped loving him. "I guess I just want to know when you stopped giving a damn about me."

"Fuck," she swore softly. "Not tonight, Grady. I seriously cannot deal with this shit tonight."

"Well then WHEN?" he shouted. There was no containing the rage now. It was all out in the open, spilling into every part of the apartment, invading the once pleasant home and twisting sweet memories into snarling black reminders of what was lost. The pain choked him deep, so rough and harsh in his chest it took everything in him to breathe. 

He watched as she stared at him, and for the first time her eyes widened in fear. "Grady, I..." she began, but he silenced her words. A flick of his wrist sent the whiskey bottle sailing through the air, whizzing swiftly past her before smashing against the wall. 

The destruction was poetic, the bottle slamming gracefully into a framed black and white picture of the two of them, hanging so serenely on the wall. The picture fell to the ground, large shards of glass scattering to the floor. 

The fear in her face quickly morphed into anger. When he threw the bottle she'd flinched away. He hadn't thrown it at her; it wasn't anywhere near her. But he knew she felt the stab of his anger just the same. 

"What the FUCK is wrong with you!" she screamed. Her dark tresses swished angrily as she swung into the kitchen. She returned with the broom and the dustpan and began to sweep up the remnants of his rage. 

"Go right ahead," he spat. "But this is one thing that can't be cleaned up."

"Grady, what are you talking about—"

"YOU BROKE US!" he shouted. "You fucking broke us. Are you honestly going to sit there and tell me you did fuck someone else tonight?" His hands began to tremble and he balled them tightly into fists to mask his weakness. 

Edie finished sweeping the glass up and quickly discarded the shards. When she re-emerged Grady was still watching her, waiting for the lie to spill from her lips. It hurt to look at her; she was so fucking beautiful, even when she was pulling away from him. 

"What do you want me to say?" she whispered. He could hear the vulnerability in her voice and for the first time in God knows how long, she reminded him of the girl he first fell in love with. 

Somewhere inside this cold, bitchy exterior was that wildly beautiful, darkly dangerous Valkyrie who kept him guessing still but allowed him brief glimpses of her sweet and tender side. 

No, he couldn't get pulled in again. He had to be strong. They weren't the same people anymore. She made sure of that when she gave away the love he'd won. "What can you say, baby? You can tell me the truth. You owe me that."

"I love you, Grady. Isn't that enough?"

"Don't. Don't do that. Don't say things you think I want to hear. I want you to tell me the fucking truth. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you let this guy ruin what we had." Grady rose from the couch, his feet carrying him over to where she stood against the wall. "You owe me, Edie. If you ever loved me, just tell me the fucking truth."

"Alright fine!" she exploded. She moved him away with one hard shove. "Yes, I did it. I fucked Quentin. And it felt good. Are you happy? Does this please you? Are you fucking satisfied?" She wiped the moisture from her eyes as she took in his stony glare. 

"Don't you dare cry," he hissed. "You don't get to cry. You're the one who did this. You're the one who opened your legs for another man and threw away everything we had like it was FUCKING NOTHING!" 

His hand hit the wall and he felt the satisfying crunch of the plaster. "I trusted you. We were supposed to be moving on." Grady was quiet for a moment as he withdrew his hand from the hole in the wall. 

Small cuts and bruises were already starting to form, but he could barely feel a thing. The pain in his hand didn't compare to the sheer agony in his heart. 

"How long?" he asked, his voice hoarse. 

She watched him as he slowly turned, his stormy blue eyes glazed over in hurt. "Grady please," she begged. "What's the point of this? I admitted I was wrong. Can't we just move forward? There's no point in looking back..."

"How. Long." He repeated. 

Her sigh was long and loud before she whispered. "Since that night." 

Grady felt his heart completely crumble at her words. He knew which night she was referring to. 

It was after her first revelation she'd cheated on him after the random fashion show. Their first fight over the incident. She had stormed from the apartment and didn't return until hours later, claiming she "needed some air". 

She had returned, fresh and determined to make things work and the whole time she'd been fucking around on him. Through the couples' therapy sessions he went to alone or canceled "date nights", she was secretly still seeing the man. 

That fucking pretty boy model. 

"So you never stopped seeing him. Even after you were admitted to it the first time. Even after you cried, and you begged for us to start over, you were still sleeping with this dude."

"Grady, I—"

His head jerked in her direction. "What?" he snarled, his normally ocean blue eyes were frosty and she flinched. "What can you possibly say to make this better? You had the opportunity to leave back then, when I first found out. Why not take it? Why pretend to want what I wanted when clearly fucking him was more important than staying faithful to me!"

"It wasn't about you!" she shouted. "It was about me!"

"Of course" he hissed venomously. "It's always about you. Everything revolves around your wants and needs. Newsflash, princess: if you wanted him so badly why not break up with me? But no, you sat there and pretended like you wanted to work things out all the while spreading your legs for some douchey pretty-boy! You are so goddamned selfish. You're throwing away everything we had on some fucking affair. I can't live like this anymore," he said. "I won't fucking do it."

"Well you won't have to," she said hotly. 

"Quentin wants me to move in with him."

Grady felt like he'd been slapped. "What the hell did you say?"

She folded her arms across her chest defensively. If he didn't know any better he could have sworn she was bracing herself just in case he decided to swing. The idea that she would even consider that he'd put his hands on her in that manner irritated him. He was angry, but he would never hit her. 

He took in her appearance, the tight black dress with the quarter sleeves and the scoop neck. It was one of his favorites, short enough to show off her mile-long legs and the silhouette of her perfectly sculpted ass. 

Her breasts were on the small side, but the neckline was low enough to highlight her cleavage. She was gorgeous: golden caramel skin, wavy dark brown hair and eyes the color of melted chocolate. 

Grady was so in love with her, but looking at her face and the contempt she held for him...it was just painful. 

"Quentin wants me to move in," she repeated. 

"Really? So that's it? You're leaving me. 'Thanks for the last year and a half, it's been fun'? Is that really all you can say?"

She sighed before turning. Grady followed her down the hallway and into the bedroom. His chuckle was incredulous when he saw her reach into her walk-in closet and pull out a large suitcase. 

"Are you fucking kidding me? You've already packed?" He stood next to her, completely at a loss for words. "How long have you been planning this?"

"Why is that important," she said with a sigh. 

"Let's not do this. Let's just make a clean break."

"You call this clean? For fuck's sake, Edie you were planning to sneak out in the middle of the night like a damn thief!" 

She shifted on her toes. He knew she was uncomfortable, but he couldn't care less. "I figured this would be easier," she stated plainly. 

"Easier?" He chuckled bitterly. "Easier for you. Once again, you make everything about what you want. You owe me an explanation."

"I just can't with you right now Grady" she said. "I just want to leave."

"Might as well leave then," he spat. "Don't forget to step on the remnants of my shredded heart when you go."

Edie rolled her eyes. "Jesus Christ, Grady!" she exclaimed, her accent thick with irritation. "Always thinking like a writer, so dramatic."

"Better than thinking solely with my cunt, like a model." Grady knew he'd crossed the line, but he didn't care. He needed her to hurt. He wanted to humiliate her, just so she could feel a smidgen of what he was going through. 

He wasn't surprised when she reached out and slapped him. In fact, he'd already braced himself for it. The sound strike against his cheek was still sharp and stinging. His eyes burned into hers as they glared wordlessly at each other. 

"Fuck you," she hissed. 

"Yeah? Well if you would have stuck to fucking just me then we wouldn't be in this situation now, would we" he shot back. "You wanna leave? Go. Get the fuck out. I'm done, you hear me? I'm fucking done with you."

"You're pathetic," she snarled. "Quentin was right about you." She wrenched her suitcase behind her as she practically fled the bedroom. 

"Yeah, well you're his problem now" Grady yelled. He could hear the wheels of the suitcase clicking softly against the hardwood floor as she tried to maneuver the handle while slipping into her stilettos. 

His head and heart waged a silent battle. Follow or fight. Follow after her, make her see sense or fight the urge and keep his pride. 

He couldn't help it; he'd always been a fool for love. "Edie, wait" he shouted. Grady sprinted to the door. She was standing at the entrance, fingers clutching the doorknob. "Edie...baby. Please don't do this. Don't leave like this. We can...we should talk."

She glanced at him, her face steely. "There's nothing left to talk about."

Grady shook his head violently, his fingers grasping her arm. "That's not true. Do you love him?"

"Grady, I..." She moved to pull away from him but he held on tighter. 

"No!" he interrupted. "No. You look me in the eyes. Do you love him?"

She was silent for so long, just staring at him while he agonized over her impending response. Finally she whispered, "Yes. Yes I do."

Grady felt the stabbing shard of betrayal pierce what was left of his heart. The pain was sharp, nearly crippling him, but he had to make it worse by asking the next question. "Do you still love me?" 

The hope was so obvious in his voice, but he didn't care. He knew he looked desperate and weak. Love emasculated him, made him vulnerable and pliant but he couldn't help the desire to still mean something, anything to her. Surely the last year and a half wasn't for naught? 

"Do you?" he whispered again. "Do you still love me, Edie?"

Her brown eyes focused on anywhere but him. He could see the moisture welling in her eyes and his resolved softened just a little. "Please, baby. Please just answer me."

The tears began to fall in earnest as she tried to free herself. "Let me go," she sobbed. "

"Do you still love me?" he repeated. 

Edie gazed up at him, her eyes steely once more. 

"No," she said firmly. "I don't love you."

"Liar," he said, his voice cracking slightly. "I don't believe you."

"Well believe what you want, but it's the truth. I don't love you. Not anymore." She wrenched her arm from his grasp and opened the door. "Are you satisfied now? Does hearing that make you happy?" she spat. 

"Believe me, I'm far from happy right now. Not that you give a damn," he hissed. "Just leave me alone. And leave your fucking key when you go." 

With that, he turned and walked down the hallway and into his bedroom, closing the door behind him. Grady stared around the room. 

Everything seemed the same, and yet nothing was the way it was supposed to be. 

It was the little things: her body lotion and deodorant gone from the top of the dresser, her stack of couture magazines that sat on her side of the bed. And more than half the closet was emptied out. 

Grady leaned against the wall, totally at a loss for words. It was only when he heard the loud slam of the front door did he remember to breathe. The nerve of her, getting offended when HE was the one getting dumped. Grady was having a hard time processing everything. 

He was emotionally skull-fucked, a little drunk, and completely exhausted. In short: he was a disaster, and was slowly spiraling into a dark place. He couldn't think.

He felt the hot tears pricking his eyes and this time he didn't bother to stop himself. Crying wasn't manly, but damn the antiquated gender norms. In less than thirty minutes his whole world had completely imploded all around him and he was helpless to stop it. 

"Fuck," he swore loudly. His chest was heaving as he fought to breathe. The sobs threatened to break his body and he began to shake from the force. 

His body was in self-destruct mode and he couldn't find the 'OFF' switch. "I can't...I can't," words were hard to come by as he struggled, the weight of all this sadness finally breaking him. 




Getting Over Edie Ch. 05



Grady sank to the floor, cradling his head in his hands. "Why baby," he gasped. "Why did you do this?"

He was never an emotional person; his range varied between "super chill" to "mildly irritated". But she'd managed to utterly fuck his world up and his mind and body did not know how to bounce back. 

So he shut down.

********

Grady groaned in satisfaction when the steaming spray of water hit him. A hot shower was exactly what he needed. He'd just returned from another grueling gym session with Benny. They both seemed to be working out some demons as they ran on the elliptical and lifted weights. 

By the time he finished he was sore and his mind was racing. 

His dream last night still taunted him; it had been vivid as his mind recalled the night of his breakup with Edie. He woke up gasping, clutching his chest, his heart thumping wildly. The pain, the humiliation, the anger—it all felt so fresh. 

It freaked him out. 

As he lathered up, his mind wandered; what brought on that dream? He was doing so well before. The past month made him feel brand new. This wasn't exactly a step back, but thinking about Edie just seemed so out of the blue. 

Although it could have been residual leftovers from the last time he ran into her, the night of Tony's party. 

Fuck. Tony's party. That phrase opened up a floodgate of "whatthefuck". Grady shampooed his hair and tried not to think about his little after-party with a certain wide-eyed dancer. He hadn't spoken to Arden since that night, and it was almost a week ago to the day. 

Grady wasn't sure what to say. This was supposed to be the girl who annoyed the ever-loving holy hell out of him. But something was different between them; he couldn't deny that. She seemed kind. Not in a pitying way, but truly kind, as if she really understood what he was going through. 

Her obnoxious tendency to correctly read his behavior irked him, but he was secretly impressed by her ability to call him on his bullshit. He couldn't help it; he was curious. 

And yeah, okay she was kind of hot. Grady still couldn't get the image of her dancing out of his head, her long and fluid form leaping gracefully on her toes, pirouetting around the room in a flash of dark limbs and purple. 

Her skin glowed with a sheen of sweat, the bitter chocolate color flushed with excitement. And when she looked up at him with those big brown eyes, he couldn't help it. He kissed her. 

And goddamn, she was sweet. The little sounds she made were incredibly sexy and he wasn't surprised when his body reacted. In fact, his body had been reacting all week. Every night, those breathy whimpers and sighs taunted him. Every night, he went to sleep and woke up hard as hell and confused as fuck. 

It was thoroughly annoying. 

Grady sighed. So the best course of action was to take some time away from the matter. He did his best not to contact her (he didn't have her number anyway, so that was easy). Through phone calls with Tony he discovered she'd been asking about him. 

Tonight was the night of her dance showcase. Tony and Gemma were going, and he was sure Stevie was as well. He promised her last week he would go, and for some strange reason he didn't want to disappoint her. 

The thought of seeing her dance again made his stomach flip with excitement. Grady rolled his eyes as he exited the shower. "Get a damn grip, Kade" he said aloud. Once again he found himself in front of his closet, pondering various outfit possibilities.  

The action was not lost on him, the amount of care he was taking with choosing what to wear. It was an anxious, yet familiar feeling. For some reason it felt like a first date. That's ridiculous, he thought to himself. 

He was zipping up his jeans when his phone rang. Grabbing it from the dresser he answered it. 

"What's up, Tone?"

"Hey man. Just checking to see if you're coming tonight."

"Well, I made her a promise. So I guess so."

Tony laughed. "Stop acting like you're being forced to go. You know you want to. You like Arden, Grady" he said in his smug 'I know I'm Right' voice. 

Grady fought the urge to curse him out. "I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me later on."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what's going on. You can deny it all you want. Plus Arden already told Gemma what happened. You smooth bastard, I didn't know you had it in you."

He scoffed. "It figures she would tell her friend about the kiss. Girls can't keep secrets for shit."

"Neither can guys, apparently. Arden never said anything, but you just did."

Grady groaned. "Are you fucking kidding me? Did I just really fall for that third grade shit?"

"Yeah, you did." Tony was laughing hard now. "You are way too easy, man."

"You're an asshole," he muttered. 

"And you're too tense. You need to get laid, man."

"Oh jeez, now you're the one who sounds like Benny. I'm FINE right where I am. I don't need pussy fucking up my plans."

Tony scoffed. "But it wouldn't be just any pussy. What if it's some golden, 'I'm a hot dancer' pussy? Come on man, she's a DANCER. Can you imagine all those tight leg muscles?"

Grady bit his lip in frustration. Oh course he could imagine her legs. It was all he could think about for a fucking week. "There's a special spot in hell for you, man." 

"Calm down dude. I just like bustin' your balls. Truth be told, I'm kind of glad to see you interested in someone else. And I know Arden can drive you batshit but she's a good girl. Gemma told me some stuff; she's been through some rough shit."

He was intrigued. "Really," he inquired as he slipped into a pair of dark blue jeans. "What do you mean?"

"That's something you'll have to ask Arden, bro" Tony replied. "I will say, you two have a lot more in common than you think. So will I see you tonight?"

"Yeah. I'm getting dressed now."

"Good. Don't be late man. I mean it dude. Don't run on Princess Time tonight."

"Alright Mom. I hear you. The show starts at eight, right? It's six-thirty right now. I promise to be ready at seven on the dot." He smiled at Tony's laughter. 

"I'll believe that when I see it," Tony said. 

"I'm gonna hang up so you can't use me as an excuse for your lateness later on."

Grady ended the call and shoved the phone into his pockets. As he dressed, Tony's words played repeatedly in his head. "You two have a lot more in common than you think." What the hell did he mean by that?

It was a cool evening for spring, so Grady threw on a blue blazer over his long-sleeved fitted grey Henley. Grabbing his keys, he locked up and headed out with twenty minutes to spare. 

The night air was pleasant and since he only lived a few blocks away from Madam Dauphin's he decided to walk. He tried to calm the mild case of the butterflies that seemed to occupy the lower half of his stomach. 

It was so weird, to be so affected by someone who, just months ago he couldn't stand to be around. But he had to admit he wasn't the easiest person to get along with at the time. 

He was man enough to admit that he'd been wrong about Arden Finch. 

Grady reached Madame Dauphin's Dance Studio just as a yellow cab pulled up out front. "Right on time," Tony said as he scrambled out of the cab. He held out his hand for Gemma and turned to grin at his best friend. "This might be the first time in the history of our friendship where you are actually on time for once."

"Don't get used to it," he said as he jostled his shoulder. "Hey beautiful," he remarked to Gemma, giving her a friendly peck on the cheek. She was slight and delicate; Gemma was tiny, barely breaking 5'5 but what she lacked in height, she totally made up for by being an absolute stunner. 

She was all softness and played the part of a trendy interior decorator, from her retro A-line cocktail dress in a deep shade of merlot to her artful silver glitter Louboutins. 

"Hi Grady," she said sweetly, her Aussie accent high and clear. Her cerulean eyes practically glowed against the warm sienna color of her skin. 

"Wow. Working out with Benny has really helped. You look fantastic."

"Thanks, Gem. If only Tony here wasn't scared to lift weights he could join us. He's been looking rather scrawny lately."

"Shut up, dick" Tony shot back playfully. "Just because you can finally fit your hefty ass into your skinny jeans doesn't mean you can run my life. My weight is just fine. Take your Richard Simmons 'Yes I Can' attitude somewhere else."

"You see how he treats me? He's just angry because he's hungry. Eat a cheeseburger and quit your bitchin'." 

The guys laughed as Gemma shook her head, a large smile on her pretty face. "You two are ridiculous. Is Benny joining us tonight or is he pretending to have another engagement?"

"That depends. Is Stevie going to be here?" Grady asked. 

Gemma shrugged. "I'm not sure. She knows it's Arden's big night. I doubt she'd miss it."

As if on cue, another cab pulled up and out stepped Stevie Knox, looking as if she'd just rolled out of bed: impossibly tight jeans, mid-calf biker boots, and Dead Boys band shirt under a bright red leather jacket. 

Her onyx hair was artfully tossed and teased, but Grady could definitely spot genuine bed head. Frankly speaking, she looked like she had a good, hard fucking. 

Way to go Benny, he silently cheered. 

"Hey," she rasped, her voice heavy from cigarette smoke. "Sorry I'm late."

"Actually you're right on time," Gemma said. "We were just about to head in."

"Is Benny going to show up?" Tony asked carefully. 

Stevie shot him a weird look. "Why the hell would I know what he's doing?" 

"Really?" Gemma said. "Really?" The collectively shot her variations of the 'gurl stop lying' look before she huffed loudly. 

"Alright Jesus, you fucking nosey ass old ladies!" she yelled. "Yes goddammit! The guido and I are...well whatever. Are you guys happy?"

"Sure. But you really didn't have to shout it out to all of Brooklyn, though." Grady said with a grin. 

Stevie glared at him. "Whatever. Can we just go inside and get this over with?" She marched into the building, the three of them following after her. 

"She's going to be in a stellar mood," Gemma whispered. 

Grady felt his stomach lurch as he stepped inside; returning to the scene of THE INCIDENT, he thought silently. Thankfully they followed the small crowd of people into the auditorium. It was a medium-sized venue, but boasted a rather impressive stage and killer lighting. 

They chose seats relatively close to the front. Grady was about to thumb through the program given to him by the usher when he heard a loud voice screech his name. 

"GRADY KADE? IS THAT YOU?" 

He cringed. He knew that voice anywhere. Grady turned to the offending creature who was making her way through the crowd at an alarming speed, flame-red hair billowing behind her. "Hey Gia," he said tightly.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, hands on hips. As usual her curves were poured into another signature Gia outfit: skinny jeans that looked practically painted on, and a form-fitting white sweater. On her feet were a pair of hideous Ugg boots in blinding white. 

"Uh, I'm here supporting a friend of mine. This is her showcase."

Gia's blue eyes lit up. "Oh you know Arden? What a small world. My niece Maria is in her beginner's class. I'm here for her performance." 

"Oh. Well that's cool." He turned back to his friends, who were watching the exchange curiously. "Guys, this is Gia Amato. We work together at EDGE." 

"Hey," she said brightly. "Well I guess I should be getting back to my family. We'll be the loud ass Italians in the front row." 

"Speaking of loud ass Italians, our own resident guido has arrived," Tony called out. They turned to see Benny heading toward them, looking uncharacteristically subdued. 

Shit, Grady thought. This is not going to be good. 

As Benny approached he was accosted by Gia, who threw her arms around him. "You jerk," she said playfully as she gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. "You never called."

"Oh uh," Benny started. He was clearly caught off guard. Grady wondered how he was going to get himself out of this on. 

Grady's eyes traveled to Tony who was assessing the scene carefully. Gemma look confused, but the look on Stevie's face was absolutely priceless. She was throwing so many icy looks in Gia's direction it was a wonder that the tiny girl didn't have frostbite. 

This was going to end in a visit to the precinct if someone didn't step in. "We should probably sit down, the show's about to start," Grady remarked. 

That seemed to snap Benny out of his stupor. "Yeah. Well it was nice seeing you, Gia" he said, removing her grip on him. "I'll be in touch."

Gia giggled, clearly oblivious to the tension. "You'd better. I've got something for you." She gave Grady a quick wave before sauntering back to her seat, the sexy wiggle in her walk purely for Benny's benefit.

Benny shot him a gracious look. "Thanks man. I owe you for that."

Grady shrugged. "I just want to see what happens when you try to explain yourself to Stevie. That will be all the thanks I need."

The lights in the auditorium began to flicker, signaling the start of the show. The group took their seats just as the curtains started to open. 

A pale petite woman wearing a black leotard breezed onto the stage. She was older, but Grady could tell she was still quite spry. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I am Madame Dauphin," she said, her native French tongue tumbling almost melodically over the syllables. 

"Welcome to our annual Spring Showcase. Every year we highlight the particular achievements of our gifted instructors and their diligent pupils. This spring, I am pleased to feature Madamoiselle Finch and her little birdies. So without further ado, I present for your viewing pleasure our program: Springtime Revolution."

The audience applauded as the lights dimmed. There was a chorus of 'awws' when the lights came up and ten little children, who couldn't have been more than seven emerged clad in green leotards and tutus with giant petals of various colors atop their heads. The music started, a jaunty ballet number that reminded Grady of springtime. He watched as the kids executed their moves with precision beyond their years. 

The flower number was brief, moving seamlessly into a nighttime garden scene, where the older children dressed as sprites, did a mischievous number in a modern ode to 'A Midsummers' Night Dream'. 

His stomach was tight with anticipation; he couldn't wait to see Arden, but watching her students perform her pieces, he was in awe. Finally, as the music ended for a group of teenagers dancing to a modern medley the lights went out completely. 

A lone spotlight shone onstage, the whitish blue giving off a cold tone. Grady felt his breath hitch when he saw her, crouched low, the spotlight trained on her frame. 

The music started and he was mesmerized. The song was vaguely familiar (Björk mayhaps?), but she was flawless. It was a sparse, haunting melody. There was a feeling of pure loneliness in her piece, a feeling so beautiful and exquisite, it moved him to his very core. 

Her makeup was minimal, her dark hair swept into a tight chignon high atop her head. She wore a black leotard, black tights, and a simple white dance skirt. Her feet glided effortlessly onstage in nude ballet slippers. It was a contemporary piece, a blend of classical ballet and modern moves. 

Grady's heart quickened at her dramatic leaps and tumbles. The song (it definitely was Björk) spoke of emotional confusion and the concept of new love. The hurt and loneliness too overwhelming but somehow healed through new beginnings. Every step, every twirl evoked raw, energetic emotion. 

He felt her leaps in his bones, the pain written in her curve of her wrists and lean arms. All of it moving seamlessly together to culminate in a dance that was both gorgeous and heartbreaking, speaking of the death of one love and the possibility of another. 

It spoke to him. 

She was so beautiful; there was no fragility about her. She was sure about her movements but possessed such grace, such force...it just blew him away. He wasn't big on dancing, but he realized it wasn't about dancing per se, just her. 

She moved him. 

The piece ended as Arden perfectly executed a series of pirouettes and leaps, her hands falling gracefully. The audience went wild. She smiled serenely before bowing slightly and prancing offstage. There were a few more numbers after that; Arden had a duet with a male pupil and it was a high energy number full of flounce and fun. 

She was utterly adorable, but Grady still couldn't get the first piece out of his head. 

When the curtain finally fell and the lights came up in the theater, the audience eagerly showed their praise. Grady stood, clapping loudly along with Tony, Benny, and the rest of his friends. 

The various dancers emerged onstage amid raucous applause. When Arden stepped out, the din was deafening. One of her pupils handed her a bouquet of roses and she smiled widely before taking a bow. 

The dancers rushed backstage as the applause died down. Grady led the way up the aisle and out of the auditorium. They stood in the lobby, chatting aimlessly as they waited for Arden to appear. 

Grady noticed Benny looking out for Gia; he didn't want to tell his best friend that he saw the clingy red-head leave with her family. He figured Benny could sweat it out, constantly looking over his shoulder. 

"There she is, our little star!" Gemma called out happily. She snatched up an embarrassed Arden, gripping her in a vice-like hug. 

"Congratulations, sweetheart! You were wonderful!"

"Thanks," Arden managed to gasp out. "Gem...I can't breathe."

"Sorry!" Gemma squeaked. "I just get so excited. You were really something else."

"Yeah," Tony agreed. "I was really impressed with the whole thing. Great job."

A slight flush to her skin was the only sign she was uncomfortable with all the praise. Grady had never seen her so humble before. She was so damn adorable in her little post-dance outfit. 

Her dark hair was pulled back in a sloppy bun, the stage makeup scrubbed from her face. She was glowing, a hint of sunshine underneath her mahogany skin. 

"I really do appreciate you guys coming. It really makes me smile."

Stevie shot her a rare grin. "I had a great time, but I have to go. We're doing some studio time tonight. Our schedule is extra tight and we have to lay down these last three tracks if the EP is going to be ready for an early summer release. I hate to dip out on you like that."

"No, no. I totally understand."

"I have to get home too," Gemma said. "Milo's dad is dropping him back, and you know how he is. Plus Tony's got some work to do."

"Sorry Arden." Tony shot her an earnest smile. 

"We hate to leave you alone on your big night. But I'm sure Grady would be happy to hang out with you. You don't mind, do you, big guy?"

Everyone turned to stare at Grady, who'd been unusually quiet throughout the conversation. Did he mind? Well there was that early morning staff meeting at EDGE. He had to discuss his column and its direction in front of everyone. But presentation be damned. He was used to running on three hours of sleep. 

He ignored Tony's overdramatic, overly suggestive eyebrow raising and instead focused on Arden. 

"Sure," he said with a shy smile. "I'm sure we can chill for a bit."

"Excellent!" Gemma said. She gave Arden another hug. "Are you sure you're cool with this?"

"I'm fine," Arden replied. "Give Milo a kiss for me. We'll hang out another time. No biggie."

The group exchanged hugs once more before parting ways. Benny remained, staring after Stevie wistfully. Grady rolled his eyes. "Dude, just fucking go after her" he huffed. "We all know already."




Getting Over Edie Ch. 05



Benny looked at Arden, who nodded. He grinned nervously. "Well, I'm off then." He chucked Arden gently under the chin before punching Grady in his arm. Before Grady could retaliate, he was already sprinting across the lobby and out the door. 

"Well," Arden said, trying to keep her voice bubbly. "It almost feels like we were set up."

Grady nodded. "Oh most definitely. You sure you want to do this?"

"Absolutely. Where do you want to go?"

"You pick. After all, it is your night we're celebrating."

Grady watched as her mind seemed to be working overtime. He wondered exactly what she was thinking. When she finally responded, he was taken aback. 

"You know, I'm really not even feeling the whole 'going out' thing. How about we go back to my place and just chill? I can whip something up for us, and we can watch a movie or something."

"Oh..." he started. 

The look on her face morphed again into embarrassment. "I don't...what I mean is...I'm just...fuck" she huffed. 

He had to stop this. They were behaving like a couple of teenagers. Without thinking, Grady stepped forward, closing the gap between them. 

"That sounds like a good time," he husked, his eyes taking in every inch of her lovely face. 

"I'd love to."

********

Grady wasn't sure what to expect when he stepped inside Arden's apartment. He certainly wasn't ready for the extreme burst of color EVERYWHERE. 

The main room was a radiant purple with teal and black accents, complete with a delightfully hideous teal couch. One wall was completely devoted to a tasteful collage of photos, many of them including Stevie and Gemma. 

A giant mirror and practice ballet barre covered another wall opposite a bank of large windows. The place was open and airy; Grady could only imagine how gorgeous it looked in the daytime, the lazy sun streaming golden rays inside. 

"Wow," he remarked. "This is just...wow."

Arden giggled. "Yeah. I'm a little color obsessed."

"Just a bit," he teased. "But it really fits you. I feel like I've stepped inside your head, which is a terrifying thought by the way." 

"Shut up." She tossed her dance bag by the front door. "Come on, we'll take the tour." 

Grady was highly amused as she showed the rest of her apartment: a retro kitchen in a shocking fire-engine red, a nice-sized bathroom colored a vibrant cilantro green. His heart inexplicably pounded just a little bit harder when they reached her bedroom.  

"Well this is where the magic happens" she quipped. 

"Whoa," Grady remarked as they stepped inside. "This is just...whoa."

"Yeah. It took me a while to figure this room out, but now I absolutely love it." 

Grady was impressed; the room was a gorgeously sensuous midnight blue. Soft lighting, courtesy of pale paper lanterns and tea lights in decorative wall sconces gave the room a romantic glow. The bed was in the center, large pieces of treated and sanded wood served as the headboard and bedframe while four tall bedposts carved to look like trees gave the bed a stately appearance. Gauzy cream colored cloth draped around the posts and through the branches, wrapping it in semi-privacy. Strings of lights tinkled softly underneath the makeshift canopy of the bed. 

It was dream-like, as if someone had imagined and engineered a fairy wonderland and brought it to life indoors, a lighted forest blessed with eternal midnight. 

"This is just beautiful," he said. "You did this yourself?"

"Gemma helped. She's incredibly handy." Arden turned to him, a small smile on her lips. "I'm gonna take a quick shower. There's some juice and stuff in the fridge and you can pick out a movie or whatever."

"Oh okay." He made his way to the kitchen. Grady stared at the contents of her fridge and tried to ignore the water running in the shower. That sound was giving him dirty thoughts, vivid wonderings about how good she would look naked. 

He shook his head hard before grabbing a bottle of cranberry juice. 

As he entered the main room, his eyes immediately zeroed in on the collage. He felt himself drawn to the expansive work of art, sipping his juice and taking it all in. 

The pictures weren't arranged in any kind of chronological order, but he could see the progression. The long wall was completely covered with pictures of all shapes and sizes. 

He chuckled at a picture that was no doubt a pre-teen Arden dressed in the most hideous of 90s fashion. Countless dance recitals, homecomings, graduations, and everything in between. It was all here, a non-linear timeline highlighting the highs, lows, and the mundane of Arden Finch's life. 

Amidst all those pictures of smiling, happy Arden there was a small gap. It wasn't that noticeable, just a small patch of the purple pain peeking through the wall of memories, as if someone ripped the pictures off in a hurry. Grady looked closer only to discover that there were patches all over the collage. He wondered what happened to those photos. 

"Are you hungry?" she asked, her clear voice in the quiet of the apartment, making him jump. "Sorry," she said sheepishly, grinning at his fright. "I didn't mean to sneak up on you."

"It's cool," he replied. "Guess I was just really absorbed with your masterpiece over here. It's really awesome."

"Thanks. It took forever, but it's finally at a good stopping point for now. Who knows, I'll probably add more to it. And you never answered my question: are you hungry?"

"I'm good, actually. Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Sure," she said. "There's a bunch of movies on the shelf. I'll go make us some popcorn." Grady's eyes instantly zeroed on her ass as she turned and headed into the kitchen. Get it together, he silently scolded. But damn, those tiny shorts were killing him. 

They were heather grey and looked incredibly soft, the snug material stretching tightly over her more than generous backside. Her dark blue t-shirt was just as tight, the cotton material providing a lovely silhouette to her cleavage. 

But those damn socks were the killer. Navy blue socks that stretched up her mile-long legs, molded tightly to her strong, shapely dancer's limbs before stopping a little above her knees. Tiny gold stars sprinkled all over enhanced their sexy factor. She looked so cute and innocent. It was definitely doing something to him. 

It was getting too hot for him. Grady removed his blazer, tossing it on the couch before heading to the DVD rack. He hemmed and hawed over his choice and by the time Arden returned with a large bowl, he'd already popped in the movie. 

"What are we watching?" she asked, plopping down gracefully on the couch. She nestled the bowl between them. 

"It's a surprise," he said. 

"I don't know how I feel about this." Grady chuckled. "No worries. After all, it's your movie. You have great taste, by the way."

She smiled as she slipped on a purple cardigan. "Don't sound so surprised."

"Shut up and take the compliment, Finch." Her doe eyes widened in mock surprise. "Oh was that a compliment from THE Grady Kade, the famous writer? Oh god, I can die happy now."

They laughed. It was nice to see they were back to taking shots at each other. That kiss last week made things really tense. It was all he could think about, and he wondered if it was on her mind as well. 

Arden chuckled as the opening credits appeared on the large flat screen. "Death at a Funeral? Nice choice."

"Thanks," he replied. "I was hoping you had the Brit version. Nothing personal against Chris Rock, but the original is much funnier."

"Definitely. I blame Alan Tudyk. His character made the movie."

"Yes!" Grady peered into the bowl of popcorn. "Are those Reese's Pieces?" 

"Do you not like them? I always add some to my popcorn."

Grady shook his head. "No it's cool. Actually I love it. I've been eating Reese's Pieces with popcorn for as long as I can remember."

He glanced up at Arden and was puzzled by the strange look on her face. She seemed to be studying him intensely. Grady wasn't freaked out; on the contrary, it made him curious. She was so damn hard to read. 

Grady prided himself on his uncanny ability to correctly assess others, but this girl was like the Fort Knox of emotions. No matter what, he could never get an accurate gauge on her feelings. 

It was frustrating and kind of liberating at the same time. He was constantly intrigued. After an awkward beat, she flashed him a minute smile before tossing some popcorn into her mouth. "Small world," she finally said. 

"Indeed."

Over the course of the movie, Grady couldn't help but notice small things about Arden. She would wrinkle her nose at a gross scene but when something was absolutely funny she'd burst out laughing. It was a high and clear sound that was altogether pleasing. When she started to snort, it made him laugh too. 

"Shut up," she said in between giggles. "I can't help it."

Grady grinned at her. "I think it's cute. You sound adorable."

Arden set the now-empty bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I think that's the first time I've ever seen you show an actual range of emotion. Except of course when you dance. I think that's why I like it so much."

Her coffee colored eyes widened at his revelation. "You like my dancing?"

"I really do. You're so talented, and when you dance...it's like I can read all of your emotions. You ooze passion with every step and when you're in motion, I can feel pretty much everything you feel. Sounds weird right?" He looked up, only to find she was staring at him strangely again. "Are you okay?"

"I...I just...why do you do that?"

Okay, now he was confused. "Do what?"

She sighed, her body inching closer towards his. "Sometimes the things you say...you seriously have no idea how effective your words can be."

"Oh," he said. "Is that a bad thing?"

Arden released another weighted sigh, as if it pained her to discuss these things with him. "No. It just confuses me, is all."

"Confuses you? Like how?"

She didn't respond. Her head was down and she busied her fingers with the hem of her cardigan. Grady was absolutely puzzled. He'd never seen her so subdued. Normally he couldn't get her to shut up, and now she could barely look at him. 

"Arden?" he said softly. His finger reached out, tilting her face so that her eyes were level with his. "What's confusing you?"

"You!" she said suddenly. "You are driving me crazy. All I've been doing for the past week is thinking about you, and that kiss. I've been agonizing over it, dissecting everything about that moment down to the very last detail. My brain has been working overtime, wondering if it was all in my head, and I'm irritated because it's affecting me so much, because it's YOU. 

But I can't help it because that kiss was so hot, and I'm so worried you didn't like it, and then you show up here, and the way you look at me, I wondered if you felt something but you never brought up the kiss, so I never did but it's been sheer torture. And then you say those things about my dancing, and I'm right back to where I started: confused as fuck."

She exhaled loudly, a nervous chuckle escaping as she glanced at him. "Sorry. I've been holding that in for a while."

"I can tell," he remarked. "I'm sorry. I didn't mention anything about the kiss because I didn't want things to be awkward between us. I guess by ignoring it, I made it worse."

He turned to her, his blue eyes meeting her gaze. Grady saw the uncertainty and it urged him on. 

"Arden, that kiss was on my mind too. I was so fixated on what happened between us, I couldn't focus on much of anything. I don't know; I guess I got freaked out."

Grady heard her breathe a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to spring this on you."

"Don't apologize," he said. "I was an ass. You've been a really great friend to me, Arden. More than you'll know."

Arden grinned. "Let's face it; I've been an absolute nightmare to you."

Grady laughed. "True. But in the end, I think that's what I needed. Everyone was walking on eggshells around me, placating me, letting me wallow in my filth and fatness. But you? You came in and threw me for a loop with your nosy ass questions and persistence. And I wanted to strangle you."

"Aww, that's such a lovely sentiment."

"I'm serious," he said. "Thanks for that. You gave me a good kick in the ass and I'm grateful for it."

Impulsively, Grady reached out for her hand. A sharp jolt of current passed through their fingers, making them both jump. "Thank you," he said. His fingers stroked hers idly, but stilled when he heard her breath catch. 

This was getting weird, he thought. He knew that things were taking a different turn, but for some reason he didn't want to stop. Maybe it was because for the first time since his breakup Grady Kade was actually attracted to another woman besides Edie. Not just attracted to...he was straight up lusting at this point. 

There was a reason why Arden was in his dreams every night for a week, and it wasn't because he wanted her to join him in a knitting circle. He wanted her. There was no getting around it. He absolutely wanted her. 

Before he could express any of this to her, however, Arden shocked the hell out of him. Her lips crushed against his in a kiss that nearly scorched his skin.

Grady groaned, the taste of her tongue was both sweet and salty from the popcorn mix. "Fuck," he growled. Cupping her face in his hands, he urged his tongue to explore deeper, eager for more of her honeyed taste. 

Those sweet little noises rumbling from her throat threatened to be his undoing. Her full lips pressed against his, her slick tongue teasing his playfully...it was all evidence of a woman who knew exactly what she was doing. 

He pulled her closer, deepening the kiss, his body practically begging to surge forward. Grady was a little nervous, the faint flutter in his stomach telling him that it'd been awhile since holding a woman like this. Oddly enough, he didn't mind. But the nervous feeling was persistent. 

In a gracefully swift motion Arden straddled his lap. The weight of those powerful yet incredibly soft thighs gripping his legs threatened to unravel his self-control. 

Careful Kade, he warned silently. This is strictly a makeout session. He beat that reminder into his head, even as her lips dominated his.

"Touch me," she whispered urgently. Her lips sought his once more before traveling to his earlobe. 

"W-wh-what?" he mumbled. He was thisclose to losing his ability for reasoning, especially with her tongue promising naughty things he was sure her body could deliver. 

"Touch me, Grady" she said again. Her teeth nibbled his earlobe and he shuddered. His ears were always extra-sensitive and led a direct pipeline down to his cock, already stiffening and begging for attention. 

Arden glanced at him, big doe eyes wide with concern. "Are you okay? Do you want to stop?"

"No," he replied, shaking his head. "I'm just. I'm a little rusty here." He felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment. It was just pathetic; there was an insanely beautiful girl on his lap and he was incredibly stiff, in more ways than one. 

She smiled at him, her fingers brushing his thick honey blond curls from his eyes. "It's okay, Grady." She kissed him, her lips so tender and soft. "I completely understand. You don't feel rusty at all." 

Arden reached between them, her hand cupping his growing erection through his jeans. "Seems like everything is in working order."

Grady uttered a sound that was a cross between a chuckle and a groan. "It would seem so." He was growing harder by the second, his cock pressing tightly against the seam of his jeans. 

"Don't worry, Grady. We don't have to do anything but this." She rubbed her flattened palm against his hardness before kissing and sucking on his earlobe again. "Is this what you want, Grady? Is this okay?"

His head tilted back against the couch. He was in absolute agony, and loving every minute of it. It'd been far too long since he felt this way, the delicious teasing torture. He missed that feeling. 

"It's more than okay," he said. The weight of her body against his felt incredibly real. She was so warm, the heat of her sex pressed tightly to him. He could feel her kitty throbbing through her shorts, and the fact that she was so turned on already was a thrilling notion to him. 

He hadn't touched her yet, which in his mind was just unacceptable. Grady's hands drifted up, stroking her thighs. A small moan was the reward for his efforts. Her hips began a gentle bucking motion, the soaked crotch of her shorts rubbing against the hardened bulge in his pants. With a groan, his hands immediately went to her hips, squeezing them gently before sliding to her ass. 

Grady gripped her cheeks; the friction between their bodies created a series of sensations that were nothing short of amazing.

The way she was grinding on him, the sensuous sway of her hips, the wiggle of her ass...it was all a preview of what she could give him. Grady was dying for a taste of her, but he knew the time wasn't right. This, this felt good. This was what he could handle. Anything else...well he wasn't sure. 

Grady pulled her close, kissing her deeply. They were silent as their bodies moved in unison; there was no need for words. Words would highlight the blinding realness of their situation and he wasn't ready to face up to that. 

Things were changing, with every fissure of pleasure from her pussy rubbing against him, from the little moans and groans he made when her teeth nibbled at his lip...these actions were catapulting their relationship into a realm that neither one seemed prepared to enter. But it felt inevitable; despite several parts of him that frowned upon the scene, the majority of him surged forward. 

She felt so strong, yet incredibly soft and feminine in his arms. Her fingers grasped at his curls as her hips began to move in earnest. Before he could even warn her, he came hard, gripping her ass tightly, his body stiffening. He could feel the sticky wetness already cooling in his jeans and he groaned softly. 

Arden stopped moving, her gaze connecting with his. He was trying to avert her gaze, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Grady forced out a nervous chuckle.

"Would you believe that's never happened before?" he said, trying to relieve some of the awkward tension. 

"Oh...it's okay—"

"It's just been awhile since...you know, and I'm a little out of practice, and you feel so fucking good, I just couldn't help—"

"Grady," Arden cupped his face in her hands as her lips silenced him. He wrapped his arms around her, his tongue sliding seamlessly into her warm mouth. "Mmm, it's okay. "

He smiled at her. He wasn't used to situations like this at all. "Okay. Just to let you know, I don't usually have the stamina of a seventeen year old on prom night."

Arden chuckled softly. "Thank goodness. That would totally ruin my plans for you."

A single eyebrow rose in shock. "Oh really?" he asked. "And exactly what do you have planned?"

"I can't tell you, dummy. It wouldn't be a surprise."

"Fair enough," he said with a nod. He accepted her lips once more, reveling in her taste. While he was enjoying their little session, a small part of him wondered where the hell all of this was going. 

When he imagined his night, this definitely wasn't in the picture. Grady tried to force the feelings of doubt way down and turned his attention back to woman still straddling his lap. 

"Grady, we don't...we don't have to do anything more than this."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that despite how rough we started out, I find myself attracted to you..."

"Obviously, since you're on my lap" he interrupted. 

She grinned. "Shut up. I like you, but I won't kid myself. I know you're going through some shit. I totally understand. All I'm saying is, we can take it slow. That is, if you want to take it at all." 




Getting Over Edie Ch. 05



Grady was silent, his brain trying to process what she'd just said. He wasn't used to dealing with someone who was so hot and cold emotionally. Just when he'd think her feelings were guarded tighter than the Hope Diamond, she'd burst out with just a tidbit of information that sent him reeling. 

What was he supposed to say to her? Their little session was fun; he'd obviously enjoyed himself, if the stickiness in his pants was any indication. But liking her? Grady wasn't sure about that. 

Okay, maybe he did like her. But he damn sure wasn't ready to figure out just what "liking her" really meant. 

"You are totally in your head right now." 

He glanced up; she was still comfortably straddling him, those large doe eyes studying him with care. "What?"

Arden smiled shyly. "Well...it's just something I noticed about you. You constantly live inside your head. Each thought is carefully examined and planned before you say it."

It was a little scary how well she could read him. "You're really creepy when you do things like that," he said. 

"Like what?"

"Reading people. The way you read me is a little scary."

"Oh." She shot him an apologetic smile. "Sorry." 

"Don't be. I won't lie to you, Arden. I'm still in the process of getting back to some state of normal. But I won't deny that I do like when you're around. I'm not ready to throw myself into something serious, but I think we should continue to be around each other. Let's just see how this goes, okay?"

He waited for her answer. She was silent for a good bit before kissing him soundly. "Okay," she whispered. "I think I can handle that." 

"Cool. We should do something this weekend."

She shot him a smile. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Yes, Captain Obvious. What do you say?"

"I don't know. I don't really know you like that..."

He glanced between them, taking in their intimate position. "Really?" he said, his brow raised in question. "Really? You don't know me like that?"

Arden grinned. "Kidding. Of course we can do something. I work until 7PM tomorrow, but after that, I'll be free."

"Sounds like a plan." He slapped her ass playfully. "Speaking of work, I have to be up super early for a meeting. I'm presenting the next phase of my article and blog series."

"Next phase? Are you taking things in a new direction?" she asked. 

Grady studied her for a minute before responding. 

"I hope so," he said with a smile. 

Arden chuckled, her lips descending on his; the kiss was slow and tortuous, with just a hint of playfulness. Grady gripped her hips tightly as he felt his body responding to her lips. 

"Arden," he groaned. "Fuck. I really need to get out of here before I do something reckless." Her tongue trailed to his earlobe once more, taking the meaty flesh between her teeth and tugging gently. "Mmm, like what" she whispered hotly against his ear. 

His blue eyes rolled with pleasure, his whole body shivering with need. It would be so easy, so fucking easy to do this. In one quick motion, he would have his pants undone, his dick out, and those damn tiny grey shorts of hers pushed to the side. He would revel in her wetness and enjoy the sensation of his cock slipping in and out of her sweet wetness, her breath coming out in short, hot moans of pleasure against his neck, her fingers wrapped tight in his curls, those smooth thighs the color of bitter dark chocolate gripping his hips...Jesus. 

Grady wanted all of that. 

But not yet. 

With one final kiss, he lifted her off his lap. 

"I'll save that story for a later date," he said. 

He watched as she pretended to pout, but Grady could have sworn he saw something else in her eyes: relief. Well that's confusing, he thought. 

"Fair enough," she said. She tried to cover up the obvious wet spot on her tiny shorts, but Grady saw, and once again his resolve was tested. 

"Call you tomorrow?"

"You might need my number for that."

She chuckled. "Oh yeah. That would be kind of helpful."

They exchanged numbers and Grady headed for the door. "This wasn't how I saw my night going at all. But I'm glad nonetheless."

Arden's smile was slow and shy, something he wasn't used to seeing on her. "I know. I feel the same way. Thanks for coming tonight." 

They both laughed at her innuendo. "Dammit! That's not what I meant," she said, shaking her head between giggles. "Thanks for being there at my show. I really appreciate it. And thank you for tonight. And our talk."

"No problem. I enjoyed myself." They laughed again. "Jesus, is everything we say going to involve a dick joke of some sort?"

She let out one of her trademark snorts. "I hope so. It makes things interesting." Arden handed Grady his blazer. "See you tomorrow?" 

He kissed her cheek. "Absolutely. I'll just change around my plans. I think Benny wanted to work out, but something tells me he'll be getting plenty of exercise tonight."

"Oh eww." Arden made a face. "Can we not?" She punched him on the arm. "Goodnight, sir."

Grady chuckled as she practically shoved him out the door. "Goodnight." Shrugging on his jacket, Grady couldn't help the wide grin on his face. 

For the first time in months, a woman other than Edie made him smile. He felt on top of the world. He couldn't wait to get home and piece together his presentation. Nell was really going to like the new direction of his project. 

Things were definitely on the upswing. 

*******

Life is so weird. I know I sound like a pre-teen popstar, but it's true. When you really stop to think about it, our lives, who we are to the core, are just made up of these random little moments that separately don't amount to much, but put them together and it's the tapestry of a human being. 

I might be babbling, but there is a point in all of this. As I've previously stated, the mantra of "everything happens for a reason" used to make me want to rage out and punch a wall. That phrase is totally overused, a cheap blanket statement that supposedly conveys the mystery of life. 

But the thing is, even tired life-cliches have a basis in truth. The thing is, there IS a reason behind everything that happens; there is a lesson we learn when things occur in our lives. 

"Everything happens" is just a nice, vanilla way of saying "Some bad shit is gonna go down, but be patient, dammit. You'll find out the details soon enough."

I was so lost in the beginning, my vision impaired by E-shaped rose-colored glasses. Had I been wiser, I would have known that my ass needed to get my vision checked out because the path I was headed down was not the right one for me. I know that now. 

E and I...it just wasn't right. Deep down, I think I knew it. But try convincing your heart with sound logic. It just doesn't work. Logic and Love are not best friends and there's a reason for that. 

It's taken some time, but I think I'm finally ready to move on. There's someone new, someone completely unexpected, but welcomed at the same time. I'm not sure where this is headed, but I would like to find out. 

I just have to convince myself to take that first step. 



Getting Over Edie Ch. 06



Author's Note: Sorry to keep you waiting. Life plus insane writer's block equals me never getting anything done. Your patience, threats, kind words, etc. were much appreciated. ~n4m

********

"So are you ever going to reveal this new girl?"

Grady glanced up from his computer screen. He was putting the finishing touches on his latest blog entry when Gia's voice interrupted his productivity. He frowned slightly. Her question was the one on everyone's mind. His recent entries in his breakup series chronicled the new stage in his life. 

He described his adventures with Arden to highlight his progress in the breakup/recovery process. Grady made sure to keep her identity a secret. He wasn't ready for the world to make assumptions, but mostly he enjoyed having those moments to himself. 

Two weeks. Two whole weeks of solid hangout time was enough to convince him that moving on was the right decision. But he wasn't about to tell Gia's nosy ass any of that. 

"Something I can help you with, Gia?" Grady chewed thoughtfully on his pen cap as Gia shot him a look. 

"Oh come on, Grady. You know we're going to eventually find out who it is. Just save everyone in the office the trouble and just tell us who she is already."

"A journalist reserves the right to protect his sources, Amato. Besides, you and the rest of the Gossip Mafia need to focus on your own work instead of hounding me about my life."

Gia rolled her eyes and snapped her gum. 

"Alright, alright" she conceded. "I'll ease up. For now." She made to head back to her cubicle but stopped suddenly, turning to face him once more. "Whoever she is, she deserves a gold medal. I can't remember the last time I've seen you look so enthusiastic about anything."

Grady was touched by her compliment. Gia was a strange creature; sure she was loud and bossy. She had a tendency to stick her nose in everyone's business and was known as "The Mouth" for a variety of undoubtedly scandalous reasons, but beneath the ridiculously tight sweaters and impossibly bright red lipstick...she was actually kind of sweet. 

"Thanks, Gia. That's really sweet of you."

She smiled. "I can be a decent human being once in a while. Also, Nell wanted you to stop by her office before you leave today."

"I can only imagine what she has to say."

"Good luck." She paused for a minute, her sassy demeanor replaced by a slightly uncomfortable air. "Grady?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Is Benny seeing someone? I feel like an asshole asking you about it, but he hasn't exactly been around for me to question him."

That wasn't the question he was expecting. The naked hope in her eyes made him tell the truth. 

"Yeah, I think so Gia."

He could tell she was crushed, but she kept her emotions in check long enough to squeak out a half-hearted chuckle. "Oh well. Another one bites the dust." 

Grady played along with her, the awkwardness of the situation a little too much for the both of them. "Listen, Amato I'm sorry—"

"No it's okay," she said brightly. A little too brightly. She was faking it, but he wasn't going to call her out. "I gotta go. If Nell asks, just tell her I wasn't feeling well. I'm leaving a little early."

"Will do." He watched as she practically fled from his cubicle. Grady felt a little sorry for her. Benny was kind of a dick for stringing the girl along. Sure, she could be slightly clingy. But she didn't deserve to be crushed like that. Grady made a mental note to talk this shit out with his best friend. He didn't want things to get weird at work. 

Turning back to his computer, Grady fell headlong into his work. It wasn't until his phone vibrated for the fifth time did he stop. "Hello" he answered distractedly. 

"I was beginning to think you were ignoring me," Tony said. 

"I've just been doing some layout work for my blog, man. What's up?" 

"Well I'm free tonight. We've being trapped in the studio all week with Love in Chains, putting the finishing touches on the EP. It's due out in a few days. Everyone's kind of antsy, so we're kicking back tonight."

"Sounds good. What's the plan?"

"Well Gem's doing Friday night dinner at her place. Real small. Just a few people trying to relax. Are you up for it?"

"Yeah, man. Doesn't Gem live outside the city?"

"She does. Benny's driving us up there."

"Alright. Well I'm still at work but I'm leaving in a minute. Just have a quick meeting with Nell. I should be home in the next half hour or so."

"Okay, dude. It's like four-thirty right now. We'll pick you up around six. Sound good?"

"Yeah. See you later." Grady ended the call and started to gather his things. He was about to head for the elevator when he remembered Gia's message. He looped back around and walked towards Nell's door. 

Grady was about to knock when the door flew open and Nell nearly collided with him. "Shit!" he exclaimed. "Sorry Nell."

Nell's calm demeanor never faltered, although Grady could see a hint of a smile on her lips. 

"Never mind that," she said, waving away his apology with a flick of her wrist. "I'm just glad you ran into me now. I was about to leave for the evening."

"Oh. Well I'll walk with you to the elevator." Grady gestured politely for her to lead, and he quickly followed behind her. "So what's up? Gia said you wanted to see me?"

"Yes." Nell pressed the down button before fixing her gaze back to Grady. "I received a call earlier from ChatTV. Dahlia Monroe wants to interview you."

Grady was shocked. "Wait, what? Are you serious?"

Nell adjusted her white framed glasses and shot Grady a look. "Yes, Mr. Kade. I am quite serious." The elevator opened and they both stepped inside. 

"Nell...that's freaking awesome. Dahlia Monroe's show is kind of a big deal."

"It's more than 'kind of'. This kind of exposure is beneficial for you and the magazine. I sincerely hope you take advantage of this opportunity."

"Absolutely," Grady said. 

Nell shot him a rare smile and the elevator signaled their stop. "Good. I'll see to setting up a meeting with you and Dahlia. Have a good evening."

She breezed out of the elevator, her commanding presence practically forcing people in the lobby to jump out of her way. 

********

"So I got some interesting news today," Grady announced. He was in the backseat of Benny's SUV as they headed out of the city to Gemma's Long Island abode. 

Tony, who was sitting in the passenger seat shot him a curious look. "What's up, man?"

"Dahlia Monroe wants to interview me."

Benny chuckled. "Get the fuck out! She's so hot."

"What? That's awesome. Is this about the blog?"

Benny shot Tony a look. "What else could they possibly talk about? Hair care tips?"

"Shut up," Grady muttered. "Yeah Tone, it's about the blog. Nell told me she's interested in getting to know me."

Grady didn't even have to look up to see the leer on Benny's face. "Uh-huh. One of the most popular web radio hosts in New York is just dying to get to know you, and you're just sitting there playing it cool?" Benny scoffed. "I would be fucking pumped. Dahlia Monroe is so unbelievably hot!"

"I'm pretty sure she's a lesbian," Tony chimed in. 

Benny rolled his eyes. "Who the hell told you that?'

"It's just one of those rumors you hear a lot in the industry."

"The industry? Listen to this guy. Whatever. I'm sure your facts are wrong, as usual. So are you going to do it?"

Grady nodded. "Of course. It's good for the magazine and my career. I guess I'm just a little nervous. Talking about Edie in front of people is going to be a little hard."

"Why?" Tony asked. "You seem to be doing quite well."

He was silent for a moment. It was true; he was doing much better. He slept soundly through the night and didn't wake with his head pounding and his chest aching. It was a good feeling. Plus, there was Arden; but his friends didn't know about that. 

"I am," he replied sincerely. "Things are good."

"Then concentrate on that part. All the other 

stuff is extra."

Grady nodded. Tony was speaking a fair amount of truth. He didn't need to rehash and worry about trivial matters, but focus on the future. An interview with Dahlia Monroe was a great opportunity. He couldn't let thoughts of what Edie might think get in his way. Besides, wasn't he past feeling like this?

"You're right, man. I'm definitely going to do it."

"Yes!" Benny exclaimed. "I need to go with you to her studio. I would love to meet Dahlia."

"Whoa there meathead," Tony said. "Aren't you dating someone?"

Benny rolled his eyes. "Calm it down, old lady. Stevie and I aren't 'going steady'. We have a mutual understanding. What we have isn't exclusive."

Tony snorted. "Two weeks ago you couldn't admit you were sleeping with her, now suddenly you have a 'mutual understanding'? Benny you're so full of shit, it's practically seeping out of your pores."

Grady chuckled as the two bickered back and forth. His mind drifted to thoughts of Arden. He couldn't wait to see her tonight. It'd been a few days since their last hangout session. He'd been busy with piecing together his latest article, and she'd been swamped with a new class schedule. Her dance semester was super packed with several classes. She'd been running a little ragged, but wasn't too tired to grab a quick meal or a cup of coffee with him. 

Since that night at her apartment, there were plenty of kisses and touches, but nothing further. It didn't bother him; in fact, he was quite comfortable with the pace. Sure, he wanted her, but he didn't want to rush and potentially ruin the camaraderie he enjoyed. She was practically the only real female friend he ever felt truly comfortable around, and that made her special. 

And to be honest, he was also a little concerned about the rest of the group. He was beginning to understand why Benny and Stevie were sneaking around. He wasn't worried about them giving him shit, but more concerned about what telling them meant. It was giving life to whatever was brewing between the two of them. Right now it was in that dream state, where everything and nothing felt real. Announcing it to the world would force him to define things. 

His heart beat faster as they pulled into the driveway of a modest brick house. The quickened pace continued even as they made their way up to the front door. Before Tony could knock, the door flew open, revealing a breathless Gemma. 

"There you are!" she exclaimed happily. "We've been waiting for you." The petite woman stepped aside, as the men lumbered in. 

"Sorry we're so late, baby" Tony replied, planting a sweet kiss on her cheek. "Benny here drives like an old ass lady."

"My car is my baby. I'm not about to get into an accident."

"Gem, please no. I'm not trying to hear another bickering session between these two," Grady said. 

"I had enough of it in the car."

Gemma chuckled as they followed her down a hallway. Her house was a decent size and unlike the vibrant colors of Arden's apartment, the décor was decidedly muted. It was tasteful, modern, and chic. They made their way to a dining room with a large circular table. 

Dax, Stevie's bandmate was already seated at the table, sipping a beer and checking his phone. For a brief panicky moment Grady was paranoid that Dylan and Edie would be there as well, but he forced those thoughts out of his head. No way would his boys let him be ambushed like that. 

The guys greeted Dax and sat down. Few minutes went by before Stevie huffed into the dining room and plopped between Benny and Dax. 

"Fucking ridiculous," she muttered. 

"They kicked you out, huh?" Dax asked, his green eyes full of amusement. 

Stevie scoffed, irritation marring her darkly gorgeous face. "You drop ONE plate and suddenly it's a fucking federal crime."

Grady hid a grin behind his hand as Benny awkwardly patted Stevie's shoulder. 

"Poor Stevie. She's not the domestic type at all." Dax turned to Benny. "Good luck with getting her to cook you a meal, bro. I've experienced Stevie Knox's cooking skills firsthand. She'd probably poison you."

Tony and Grady cackled as Stevie shot Dax a murderous look. "Fuck you, Jones. I've had to put up with shit from the Domestic Goddesses in the kitchen. I'm not about to hear it from you."

"You just keep your ass away from Gemma's good plates," Arden said as she breezed into the dining room. She was carrying a large platter full of garlic bread. As she set the platter on the table, her eyes met Grady's. She smiled broadly before ducking her head. Grady returned the grin. "Hey boys," she said. "Can I get you some beers?"

"Sure," Grady said with a nod. His eyes immediately zeroed in on her outfit. She was wearing a festive African-print dress in vibrant hues of gold, umber, and green. The dress stopped about mid-thigh, showing off her gloriously long legs. The sweetheart neckline showcased her cleavage and when she leaned over the table, Grady was treated to a lovely sight. 

He grinned when she caught him looking and mouthed 'later' before heading back into the kitchen. It was only a couple minutes later that Arden returned with beers for the boys and a bottle of wine. She sat down next to Grady just as Gemma brought out a large serving dish full of some sort of pasta. 

Dinner was relatively nice; the conversations and drinks flowed easily as everyone enjoyed the meal. Gemma was a skilled cook, and her Cajun chicken pasta was delicious. "Dammit Gem, Grady and I are gonna need to hit the gym extra hard after food like this," Benny said. 

Grady nodded. "But it's worth it. I haven't had a home-cooked meal in forever."

"Well whenever you feel like you need a break from takeout, I'll cook for you anytime," Gemma said with a smile. 

"You hear that Tone?" Benny asked. "Your girl's gonna cook for us."

Tony shrugged. "She cooks for me all the time." His smile was smug as he laid a sweet kiss on Gemma's cheek. 

"Ugh," Stevie said with a shudder. "Get a room."

"We're in my house," Gemma shot back. "All these rooms are mine."

Grady snorted as Arden shook with silent laughter. It was nice to kick back and enjoy the company, especially with a certain person in particular. 

His eyes kept meeting hers and he was fighting hard to keep a stupid grin off his face. Reel it in, Kade he warned. 

The guys were on clean-up duty, much to Benny's consternation. It was only until Gemma threatened to never cook for him again did he shut the hell up and scrubbed the pots. Grady, Tony, and Dax had to laugh at the giant temper tantrum he was throwing about washing dishes. 

After the kitchen was spotless they all gathered in Gemma's tastefully decorated living room. Benny settled into the recliner while Stevie surprised the hell out of everyone by sitting on his lap. 

The look she shot the group forced them to stifle their laughter. 

"Hey Gem, where's the little guy tonight?" Grady asked. He and Arden sat on the sofa, careful not to appear too close.

Gemma cuddled close to Tony on the loveseat. 

"Milo's with his dad tonight. It's his week to 

have him."

Dax looked around the room. "Whoa, why do I suddenly feel like a seventh wheel?"

Arden laughed easily. "Well if you would stop being so difficult, with those impossibly high standards, maybe you could actually find a girlfriend."

Dax rolled his eyes before shooting Arden a smile. "It's not being difficult if I want a girl I can actually have a real conversation with that doesn't involve referencing a Kardashian."

"Sounds fair to me," Tony interjected. 

"Besides dude," Benny offered. "Grady and Arden aren't paired up. Relax."

Grady could feel five pairs of eyes watching him and Arden on the couch. He huffed. "You guys are nosy as hell."

Arden chuckled. "Whatever. I'm probably the only woman in New York who isn't infatuated with the famous Grady Kade." Her smile was small and sly. 

Grady ducked his head to hide his laughter. "I'm sure women aren't infatuated with me."

"Right, because Dahlia Monroe wants you on her show just for shits and giggles," Tony said. 

"What?" Arden exclaimed. "Grady that's so cool! I love her show."

"Yeah," he said, nodding his head. "Just heard the news today. We have to work out a few things with her people, but as of right now, it's a go."

"That's so awesome. Congrats!" 

His face lit up at her wide, genuine grin and the brightness of her fawn-like eyes. "Thanks," he said. A strong urge to grasp her hand overtook him, but he bit down that thought. They were still hanging out with their friends and he wasn't about to go down that road, at least not with an audience. 

They sat around, shooting the breeze and watching some random action movie on cable. An hour later Stevie announced that she and Dax had to leave. 

"We're laying down the last two tracks for the EP." She turned to Tony. "Are you working with us tonight?"

Tony shook his head, wrapping his arm tighter around Gemma. "No, Gizmo's covering the boards now. You'll be fine. Just call me if there are any problems."

"I should probably get going too," Arden said. 

"I've got an early dance class." 

Stevie nodded. "Cool. Benny will give us a ride back into the city."

"I will?" he shot her a quizzical look, but quickly changed his tune when he saw her eyebrows furrow. "I mean, yeah no problem." Benny turned to Grady. "You ready to go, man?"

Grady fought to hide his laughter. "Yeah, I'm ready." He kissed Gemma goodbye and thanked her for dinner before promising Tony that he'd call him tomorrow. 

The car ride back to Brooklyn was mainly filled with a hilarious argument between Benny and Stevie about the realistic aspect of the action movie they watched earlier. Grady was glad his friends were pre-occupied, because it gave him a chance to have his own private conversation with Arden. 

His eyes drifted to Benny and Stevie in the front seats, voices raised before his hand snaked out and grasped Arden's fingers, giving them a gentle squeeze. Her gaze met his and she smiled. "Hey," she said softly.

"Hey." Grady couldn't help the warm feeling in the pit of his stomach at the sight of her shy grin. "Sorry you have an early class. I thought we would hang out, since I'm off tomorrow."

Her thumb traced small circles on the top of his hand as she shot him a conspiratorial grin. 

"There is no class. Well, at least not tomorrow. I just wanted to get out of there so we could spend some time together."

Grady chuckled, shaking his head. "Smooth, Finch. Real smooth." 

"Smooth is my middle name. So are we going to my place?"

"Yeah. But how are we going to pull that off without them noticing?"

Arden waved his question away. "Don't worry. I've got that covered too." She leaned forward, clearing her throat loudly. "Hey Benny, just drop both of us off at my place."

Benny stopped his conversation with Stevie and shot Arden a look in the mirror. "Okay, I guess. I don't mind taking you all the way home, man."

Grady was about to speak up, but Arden stepped in. "Well that's cool except the other day Grady let me borrow his zip drive so we could swap music, but he's got a presentation tomorrow and his notes are on there."

She winked slyly at him and he couldn't help but admire her skills. The girl really was smooth. 

Benny shrugged. "Whatevs. Less driving I have to do." He returned to the conversation with Stevie. 

Twenty minutes later, Grady found himself in Arden's apartment. "Do you really think Stevie went to the studio?" Arden asked, stepping out of her flats. 

"In my mind, yes" Grady replied. "I never want to think about her and Benny engaged in any kind of indecent act."

Arden chuckled as Grady shuddered. "Speaking of indecent," she said, gently tugged the front of his red thermal Henley, bringing him closer. 

"I've wanted to do this all night." 

It was a soft kiss, the passion behind their lips escalating it into a full on make-out session.




Getting Over Edie Ch. 06



His hands cupped her face, drawing her deeper into the kiss. 

Kissing Arden was quickly becoming one of his new favorite activities Her lips were full and soft and made him a little dizzy. She captured his lower lip between her teeth and gently tugged, nibbling on his flesh and making him groan. All her little tricks, her sighs of satisfaction when his tongue slid inside her willing mouth...it drove him crazy. It was all so new to him, kissing someone who was sexy, fearless, and a little playful. He was definitely digging it. 

His hands traveled from her hips around to the impossibly round curves of her derriere. He lightly squeezed the ample globes and she moaned into his mouth, her tongue exploring his taste. 

"Mmm, are we going to do this all night?" she murmured against his lips. Her fingers tightly gripped the shirt fabric at his shoulder as he moved his kisses to the curve of her neck. 

"Why do you ask?" he rumbled into her skin. 

"Ohh," she breathed. "Because we should move to a place where I can sit down. You keep kissing me like that and my knees will give out."

Grady smiled, bringing his lips back up to meet hers in a simple peck. "You okay?" he asked. 

"Mmm-hmm." Her eyes were bright with lust and it made him swell with manly pride. She was so pretty, and those doe eyes of hers would be his undoing. It'd been so long since he felt this stable with someone. He still wasn't sure what they were officially doing, but there was a level of comfortable in their relationship that soothed his spirit and put him at ease. 

Grabbing his hand, she led him past the living room and down the hallway into her bedroom. It was dark, save for the tiny twinkling lights above her bed. Coupled with the tree branches that served as the bed posts and the sheer gauzy curtains, it still had that 'fairy forest at midnight appeal'. 

Arden turned to him, casting a shy smile in his direction. "Are you okay?" she asked.

He nodded. "Actually, I think I am." And he was. His mind was completely clear of anything except for her and this moment. 

She stepped closer to him, sliding his hands around her waist and he let out an audible gulp. Her eyes met his and she smiled. "We don't have to do anything more than this," she husked, lips pressing against his in another gentle kiss. They traveled to the bed, lips still moving together. 

Grady sat down, bringing her to rest on his lap. 

There was a familiar burn in his body, a sensation he thought was long gone. He had the urge to do more, to go further in his exploration of her. Unlike the last time they were intimate, the panic of being close to another woman was lessened considerably. Lessened, but not completely gone. 

When her hands clutched at his dirty blond curls, he had a flash of deja vu. Grady jerked, moving away from her lips. 

Arden studied him quietly, her eyes filled with concern. "What's wrong?" 

Grady shook his head. He didn't know what to say or how to explain to her that pulling his hair was a trigger for him. He really didn't want to bring up Edie, especially given his current location. "It's nothing," he replied. 

He saw that look in her eyes, like she didn't believe him at all, and he hoped she wouldn't push the subject further. But then again, this was Arden. "Did I do something wrong?" There was a gentle vulnerability in her tone. 

Guilt washed over him and he wrapped his arms around her waist, lips brushing softly against hers. "No," he reassured. "I guess I got a little freaked out when you touched my hair."

Arden frowned in confusion. "Your hair? Really?"

Grady hid his face in the crook of her neck, his blond scruff scratchy against her smooth skin. 

"This is really stupid, and kind of embarrassing...but it just triggered some memories for me."

"Oh," she murmured. She still had that same quiet tone to her voice, as if she was walking on eggshells around him. "Memories, as in stuff about Edie?"

His blue eyes met her gaze and he nodded. "Yeah. Fuck, I'm sorry. Up until that point, I wasn't even studying anything about her. I really wasn't trying to ruin the moment."

She reached out, cupping his face in her hands as her eyes studied him. "You're not the only one with triggers, Kade." Her smile was sad and it clenched his chest something awful. 

"You know...you can open up to me, too" he said. "I can't be the only one always swimming in an ocean of feelings."

Arden smiled, kissing his cheek. "I know. Thank you for offering." Her lips touched his again and she wrapped her arms around his neck. 

He noticed she didn't actually offer any kind of explanation, but he wasn't going to press her on the subject, especially since she was really understanding about this Edie business. Grady tilted backwards, his upper half resting back on the bed, bringing Arden with him. Her strong thighs straddled his hips, gripping him tightly and he groaned. 

Her hips shifted a little, the warmth at the apex of her thighs coming into contact with his growing erection. Her dressed was bunched around her hips and the heat coming from her pussy made him ache. 

Grady's hand gripped her thigh tightly as his other hand traveled to the warmth between her legs. Fanning out his fingers, he cupped her sex, giving her a slight squeeze. 

"Oh," Arden moaned, her breath hot and sweet against his skin. "Do that again."

He obliged, squeezing a bit harder this time and she whimpered. "You like that sweetheart?" he cooed, his voice thick with lust. 

She groaned softly, nodding her head. "Yes," she breathed. Her lips crushed against his, their kisses heated and almost messy. Arden pressed her pussy tighter into his hand, practically grinding against his palm. Her breathy whimpers made him shiver. 

Grady pressed the heel of his hand against her clit and she cried out. She rode his hand harder as her legs opened slightly to give him access. He was tempted to dip his fingers inside her wetness, but something held him back. Besides, she was so close to her climax just from dry-humping alone. 

"Oh fuck," she moaned. Her hands gripped his biceps tightly as her whole body began to tremble. Grady reach up, his teeth nipping gently at her earlobe and she uttered a sharp cry as she hit her peak. He could feel her juices leaking against her panties and his mouth watered for a taste of her. 

Arden's breathing was steadying as she tried to come down from her orgasm. He peppered her face with gentle kisses as his hand continued to rub and squeeze her pussy through her panties. 

She hid her face in his neck, and he could feel the heated flush of her cheeks. "Are you okay," Grady whispered. His hand moved from her hips to around her waist, gripping her tightly to him. 

"Yeah," she replied. She was breathing heavily and he could feel her heart racing. "I just...that was kind of unexpected."

Grady chuckled. "I'll say. I guess it's just payback from our first encounter."

Arden grinned as she pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss. "I guess so. It's just been awhile since...you know..." her sentence trailed off. 

"Since someone else made you come?" he supplied, purposefully choosing those words. He got the response he was looking for when a low moan filled his ear. 

"Something like that," she said. Her hips gave an involuntary thrust and he closed his eyes against the sensation. 

He was so conflicted; his body was revved up, screaming at him to move forward, but he couldn't seem to dead the lingering doubts. He was starting to suspect his hesitation wasn't about Edie, but with himself. Once he crossed that line with Arden, there'd be no going back. And for once, he was actually enjoying the relationship he had with a woman. There were no expectations, no 'where is this going' feeling. 

It felt really natural, being whatever they were. 

And it was scaring the hell out of him. 

As if she could feel him tensing underneath her, Arden rolled off him before cuddling to his side. 

Grady stroked her hair, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. 

She closed her eyes, savoring the feeling. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" she asked; her wide brown eyes filled with concern. 

He shot her a weak smile. "I think I'm just living too much in my head, you know? I think so much, about every detail of my life, and it's like I'm not giving myself a break at all. Sometimes it's fucking exhausting." Grady wrapped his arm around her waist, bringing her closer. "I like you, Arden. Clearly from this case of blue balls that I'm currently sporting. I'm not sure how to progress things, or if I even want to at all."

Arden was quiet for a moment. Her slim brown fingers stroked the exposed skin from where his shirt lifted up, tickling the soft dirty blond hairs of his happy trail. "I know what you mean," she finally said. "I like you too, Grady. Probably more than I should, given your situation. But I guess I just see how much we have in common and it speaks to me. We've both been hurt, and that hurt is still fresh."

Her eyes met his and he could tell she was almost at the point of tears. But she quickly shook her head and continued on. "I'm not asking for any more than what you're willing to give. And I'm hoping you feel the same."

In lieu of answering, his lips captured hers in a deep kiss. Their tongues danced playfully, teeth nipping, lips sucking. It was overwhelming but felt so right and when her hands moved lower, sliding inside his jeans and boxer briefs to fist his cock, he moaned into her mouth. "Arden," he bit out as his eyes rolled back. "You don't have to do that."

She smiled, running her fingers down the length of his smooth shaft. He was so hot and heavy in her hand and she gripped him with the right amount of pressure. It'd been a long time since he had a woman's touch on his body. Grady inhaled sharply when she started to stroke him faster. 

Her kisses moved to his neck, biting and lapping at the sensitive skin under his jawline, her smooth cheeks rubbing roughly against his scruff. Grady unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them off his hips a little, giving her more room. He brought her closer to him, palming her ass with one large hand, moaning at the sensations of her softness gripping his cock, and the wet heat of her panty-clad pussy rubbing against his leg. 

"Fuck, baby yes," he growled. "Harder. Yeah, just like that. Mmm." He couldn't hold back. It felt so fucking good. Brief images flashed in his mind of him fucking her from the back, his pale hands rubbing the luscious curve of her ass before giving a hard slap to each cheek. His mouth watered as he imagined tasting her pussy, licking her cream from her thighs as she cried out his name. 

Grady's breathing grew heavier as her hand moved faster and he came with a deep grunt, coating her hand and a bit of his stomach with his essence. He grabbed her chin, lifting her face to his for a kiss that made his toes curl. 

Arden moaned, pulling away for a moment, only to bringing her hand to her lips. Her pink tongue snaked out, licking her fingers clean. "Sweet," she said in an almost reverent tone. "Like strawberries and pineapples."

A low growl rose in his throat as his dick jumped at her words. "Baby, I can't think straight when you say shit like that."

She smiled. "Sorry. But you taste amazing. Must be all that healthy food you're eating."

Grady chuckled as his heartbeat finally returned to normal. He accepted her lips once more, his tongue swirling gently with hers. His hand kneaded the soft flesh of her ass, while the other cupped her face. 

"Jesus," she whimpered. She was still straddling his leg, grinding against the corded muscle of his thigh. "I feel like a goddamn horny teenager."

He grinned, sucking on the tender skin below her ear. "I know what you mean," he rumbled, his voice vibrating low in her ear. "You keep rubbing against me like that, and I'm about ready to bust again."

She let out a loud laugh. "Aww, poor baby." She placed a soft kiss on his chin. "You're just so big and cuddly. Like a giant blonde bear."

"I'm gonna take that as a compliment," he said. 

"With you, I can never tell."

"Oh it's definitely a compliment." Arden nuzzled his neck, taking in the woodsy scent of his cologne. "You look really good, all big and burly like a lumberjack. The shirt helps too." She fingered the soft material of his black and blue plaid shirt. 

"You're not too bad yourself, Finch. This ass..." 

He slapped it for emphasis, enjoying the small hitch in her breathing. "I especially like watching you dance."

"Really?" the look in her eyes was one of uncertainty, and he was puzzled. 

"Of course; now I'm not an expert on dancing, but you are fucking stellar. You might be brash, sarcastic, and unfailingly obnoxious..."

"Jeez," Arden interrupted. "Don't hold back on my account." She poked him in the stomach. 

Grady smiled. "But there's no denying how amazing of a dancer you are." The look on her face confused him; she seemed unsure of herself, and he wondered why. "You don't seem to believe me."

"No, it's not that" she said, shooting him a weak smile. "I know that I'm a good dancer. It's just strange hearing those words from someone other than my girls or my peers. He thought dancing was a waste of time." The last part was said so softly, Grady wasn't sure he heard her correctly. 

"He?" he asked "Who's 'he'?"

Arden looked taken aback, and Grady assumed she thought he didn't hear her. "What?" 

"You said 'he' thought dancing was a waste of time, and I asked who 'he' was."

"It...it's nothing," Her full lips set into a firm line. 

Grady studied her for a moment, picking up on the defensiveness in her tone and the way her body slightly shifted away from his. "It's clearly far from nothing," he stated.

She shot him a look, before sighing heavily. "He was my Edie. And he was an asshole." There was an undercurrent of bitterness in her words which shocked him. He'd never heard her sound so...broken. 

He was silent, waiting for her to continue. 

"We dated for nearly three years. He hated dancing; said it was a foolish hobby that wouldn't amount to much in the end. He was constantly discouraging my dreams and trying to force me to find a 'worthwhile career'." Her voice was hard and she chuckled bitterly. 

"Dancing isn't a career for me; it's my fucking passion. The one thing I wake up in the morning for. But he was too focused on building the perfect life and grooming some sad, desperate woman into a future housewife. Dancing didn't fit into that life."

"What happened?" Grady whispered, even though he knew what was coming. 

"While he was busy grooming me, he was fucking another woman. Guess she already fit the mold." Her eyes were glassy, and he cuddled her closer to him. 

"I'm sorry, sweetheart" he said softly, kissing the top of her head. 

He heard her sniffling into his chest, and he tilted her face to his. "It's been over a year since it happened," she said, giving him a watery smile. "He's married to her. They have twin boys. 

Guess I really fucked up those chances."

Grady frowned. "Do you regret not taking him back?"

Arden was quiet for a moment, her plump bottom lip caught between her teeth as she pondered his question. She let out a small sigh. "No. I think in the long run, we would have been absolutely miserable together. But sometimes it's easier to accept the misery than to face the unknown. At least that's what I thought back then. I'd like to believe I know better now."

She glanced up at Grady. "So you see, Kade...I know exactly how you feel. We're both on the Island of Relationship Misfits."

He chuckled at her dark humor. "It would seem so." He brought his lips to hers, pressing them together in a soft kiss filled with understanding and all the emotions and sympathy he was too afraid to say. "Thank you for sharing your story with me," he said, his voice gravelly. 

Arden smiled, kissing him again. "Thank you for being so understanding. Us rejects have to stick together."

********

Grady awoke to the sounds of music playing faintly somewhere in the distance. He lifted his head from the pillow, which smelled of night jasmine and honeysuckle, slightly opening one cerulean-colored eye. 

There was a brief moment of 'where the fuck am I?' before the last night came back to him in a wave of flashback. Kissing, touching, rubbing. 

Arden. 

He was at Arden's place. 

Rolling over onto his back, he realized he was alone in the bed. Grady sat up, rubbing the brownish-blond scruff on his face. He shirtless and pants-less, clad in nothing but red boxer briefs. Swinging his legs around the side of the bed, he rose and followed the sounds of music. It was coming from the kitchen. 

Grady padded down the hallway and peeked his head into the brightly colored kitchen. She was wearing his plaid shirt, and as far as he could tell, nothing else. "Well at least I know where my shirt went," he said, his voice still rough with sleep.

Arden, who'd been at the stove stirring something in a pan, jumped at the sound of his voice. 

"Jesus!" she exclaimed, pressing a hand over her heart. "You scared the hell outta me."

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. "I kinda woke up in a daze. I don't even remember falling asleep last night."

She smiled, and he couldn't help the flutter in his stomach. Her face was completely scrubbed of makeup, her smooth dark brown skin practically glowing. Her loose curls were piled on the top of her head in a sloppy bun. And she was wearing the hell out of his shirt. She was so damn pretty. 

"Well, it was really late for you to head out, so I suggested you stay the night."

Grady nodded. "Oh yeah, it's coming back to me now. I was a bit knackered out from all out extra activity last night." He grinned madly at her and she ducked to hide her own wide smile. They'd spent another two hours talking about any and everything. Between stories there were fervent make-out sessions and a whole lot of rubbing and grinding. 

He felt like a damn teenager, with all the fingering and handjobs, but it was thrilling at the same time. Arden walked over, planting a kiss on his lips. She attempted to turn back to the stove, but he grabbed her arm. Grady's lips slanted over hers, his tongue licking her plush lips, seeking entry. "You taste so good," he murmured. 

Arden chuckled, her hands pressed against his bare chest as she pushed him away. "And you taste like morning breath," she joked. "I have a couple of spare toothbrushes in the bathroom cabinet. Make friends with one of them."

Grady rolled his eyes. "Ouch, Finch. That hurts. But as you wish." Giving her a sharp slap on her ass, he headed towards the bathroom. 

After quickly brushing his teeth, Grady caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. What a difference a few months make, he thought to himself. His body, while not as muscular as before, was solid and burly but in shape. His arms had definition and the spare tire around his stomach was almost gone. 

He felt like a new man. 

Almost. 

Grady frowned. Something was holding him back. He could feel it. Something was in the way of his progress. His eyes focused on his reflection as realization hit him like a freight train. 

The hair. 

He reached up, fingering the shaggy, corkscrew curls. His hair wasn't the end-all source of his misery, but it was the last leftover relic from his time with Edie. It was her favorite thing about him, the one thing he hadn't changed. Maybe that was it; the reason things couldn't move forward. He hadn't rid himself of everything, not yet.

When he left the bathroom, he found Arden seated in the living room watching television, two plates of food on the coffee table. 

"There you are," she said. "I thought you were taking a dump."

He rolled his eyes before plopping down next to her on the couch. "You are such a classy broad."




Getting Over Edie Ch. 06



She shrugged. "I do what I can. I made you breakfast." She pointed to the plate consisting of sausage, egg, and cheese on a toasted bagel. 

"I see that," he said, grabbing the plate. Grady gave her a quick kiss before shooting her a crooked smile. "Thank you."

Arden ducked her head. "You're welcome."

They ate in comfortable silence while watching Firefly on TV. Grady set the empty plate back down on the coffee table and glanced over at 

Arden. "I want to cut my hair."

She shot him a look, attempting to finish chewing before responding. "Now?"

"Today, at least. Figured I'd make an appointment at the shop. Wanna come with?"

She took a large swallow of her orange juice. "No need to make an appointment. I'll do it."

Grady cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. "You?"

"Me," she replied simply. Arden put her plate on top of his and turned to face him. "Surprised?"

"A little. You cut hair?"

"I worked at my aunt's salon all through high school and college. I know all about hair."

His blue eyes studied her. "You really are something else, Finch."

"I'll take that as a compliment," she said. "So do you want my help or not?"

It was Grady's turn to shrug. "I guess. It'll save me fifty bucks."

Arden snorted. "Fifty bucks? For a haircut? Sweetie, someone is gouging you."

His stomach did that funny flip again at the sound of her calling him 'Sweetie'. It was always 

'Grady' or 'Kade'. He wasn't sure why, but it kind of made him all warm. "A good haircut is well worth it."

"Well I won't charge you that much," she said. 

"Oh? How much are your service, Miss Finch?" His grin was flirtatious and he capped it off with a sly wink. 

Arden bit her lip to keep from smiling. "You'll just have to wait and see, Mr. Kade. Now go fetch me one of the chairs from the kitchen table. I'll go get my supplies." She rose from the couch, giving him a flash of her sweet pussy and Grady couldn't help but groan. 

It made him think of last night, his fingers thrusting deep inside of her wetness, making her come so hard she actually squirted. That caught him off-guard, but he quickly recovered. He tasted her juices, but still hadn't feasted directly from the source. The thought of sucking and licking her juicy snatch made him a bit lightheaded. 

By the time she returned with an armful of stuff, he was sitting comfortably in the straight-back chair. Arden placed a bunch of items on the end table next to the couch and draped a bright yellow towel around his bare shoulders. "How short are we talking?" she asked

"I don't want a military cut," he said, running his fingers through his dirty blond curls. They were about midway between his jaw and collarbone and fanned out like a shaggy, surfer halo. "I'm just over this beach bum look."

"I agree," she said. "But cutting all of this off...are you absolutely sure?" She titled his chin up, their eyes meeting. 

Grady was silent for a moment before nodding. "I'm sure. Crop it close, but not too close. Short and tight on the sides, and fluffy on top."

Arden grinned. "Sounds good." She pressed play on the iPod dock in the living room, letting the sounds of Best Coast soothe him into a comfortable state. 

She hummed along quietly with the music; her sweet voice, coupled with the soft snipping sound of the hair shears made him feel completely relaxed. Grady shut his eyes, enjoying the feel of her fingers in his hair. He was jumpy at first, but after a few deep calming breaths and several reminders that she wasn't Edie, he felt at ease. 

He opened his eyes, and noticed the tufts of his former curls on the towel around his shoulders and on the floor. It was weird, but he felt lighter, his head and his heart. He glanced up at her when her heard the buzzing sound of the electric clippers. 

Arden planted a soft kiss on his forehead. 

"Relax," she said. "I'm an expert."

Grady laughed. "So you say." He settled back against the chair, his eyes closing once more. The buzzing and the sensation of the clippers moving around his scalp made him feel kind of sleepy. He listened to her humming and singing until it seemed like no time at all, the noise stopped. 

Arden set down the clippers and removed the towel from his shoulder, balling it up so the hair wouldn't fall on the floor. "All finished," she sang out. "Go check it out while I tackle this mess."

He got up from the chair, his head feeling much lighter. It was weird not having his hair in his eyes or ticking his shoulders. Grady flicked on the bathroom light and stepped inside. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed. 

She was a fucking genius in the hair department. 

It was exactly what he wanted. The sides were short, and the curls at the top were a little longer and gave him a sort of fluffy faux-hawk look. He ran his hand through his shorn style, admiring it from every angle. 

The guy staring back at him in the mirror...that dude looked awesome. Grady smiled. This...this definitely felt like change and progress. 

When he came back into the living room, everything was clean again. Grady sat down again in the straight-back chair. 

Arden appeared, a knowing grin on her pretty face. "You like?" 

He nodded. "Definitely. Thank you, Arden."

She ducked her head, a shy smile ghosting her lips. "You're welcome, Grady. I just wanted to give you a fresh start. You've gone through so much, and you've been working so hard and making great progress. I could tell that your hair was frustrating you." 

Grady shook his head. As usual, her scary analysis of his feelings and fears were spot on. 

"I don't know how you do that. Read me so well."

She lifted her shoulders in a careless shrug, her fingers fiddling with the cuffs of his plaid shirt. "I know what you're feeling, because I have those feelings too."

Her words touched something in him. A sharp feeling crept into his chest, making him sigh. He didn't realize he was watching her so intensely, until she stepped forward, her fingers brushing his scalp. Grady sighed once more, leaning into her touch. 

"You're so beautiful," she whispered, her fingers grazing his features, tracing his lips, stroking his cheeks, gently trailing over his scruff, before cupping his face. 

"So are you," he said, his voice much deeper. He reached out, hands gripping her hips to pull her closer. He opened his legs wider to accommodate her. Grady's hands traveled, cupping her ass and forcing her ever forward. Her hands were back in his hair and Grady leaned in, nuzzling the exposed patch of stomach. She had a dancer's body, all long limbs and tight muscles, but there was a curvy softness to her that was extremely enticing. 

He could smell her arousal, the sweet scent of her pussy calling out to him. He dipped his head lower, lips trailing softly over her silky skin. 

"Arden," he said, his voice dangerously low. 

"Grady," she breathed, her voice unusually soft. 

Grady lifted his eyes to meet hers, even as he moved lower to her pussy. "Let me taste you?"

She nodded, her chest heaving with anticipation as she planted her feet wider. 

That scent called to him, and he was happy to respond. He pressed a gentle kiss to her smooth outer lips, admiring the way her completely bare pussy glistened with her juices. When his tongue darted out for the first taste, she sighed. 

His hands cupped her ass once more as he dove in, his skilled tongue swirling around her clit. He alternated between licking and sucking the little bundle of nerves, a move that had her knees practically buckling. She was so wet and her taste was absolutely unreal. Her nectar was sweeter from the tap and he was feeling drunk from it. 

Her hips bucked as she practically humped his tongue. Her cries of pleasure were soft and breathy and when she called out his name, he felt his dick twitch. Grady rubbed himself through his boxer briefs as his tongue fucked her tight little hole. 

She was louder now, her fingers in his hair and he could feel her knees getting weaker. It was a wonder she was even still standing. When he added a single finger, she gave a sharp cry of his name and climaxed, her juices flooding his mouth. 

Grady lifted his head, his finger still moving in and out of her wetness. 

"Grady," she moaned. Her hands moved to his shoulders for the extra support. 

"C'mere," he said. He moved his hand, bringing her down to straddle his lap. Her soaking pussy brushed against his hardness and he groaned. 

"Fuck. You taste so good, Arden. Wanna try?" 

He brought his finger to her lips and she sucked it slowly, swirling her tongue around the tip before licking her lips. "Jesus," he breathed. 

She crushed her lips to his in a deep kiss full of tongue and fervor. Grady unbuttoned his shirt, pushing the material off her. He gazed at her breasts, admiring their fullness and the twin peaks of her dark nipples. 

Grady lowered his head, taking one into his mouth. "Ohh," she cooed, cupping the back of his neck. Her hips thrust tightly against his cock and he bit down gently on her nipple. "Ahh! Grady." 

He continued to suck and tease her nipples, his eyes never leaving hers. He knew she was begging for some kind of release, and he realized he didn't want to torture them both any longer. 

Apparently Arden had the same idea. She reached between their bodies, into his briefs and pulled out his thick cock. "Grady, please" she moaned. 

Her soft fingers stroked his shaft and he groaned. 

"You ready, baby?" he bit out. 

She nodded. "Yes." 

"Put me in," he begged. She gripped his dick at the base, lifting her hips slightly. He could feel the heat of her pussy on the tip and it was driving him crazy. 

In one smooth motion, she impaled herself on his cock, and they both cried out. "Oh my god," she moaned as her hips began to gyrate. 

Grady's hands gripped her hips, controlling the speed of her movements. Her greedy little pussy was like a vice; she was tight, hot, and so unbelievably wet. She felt like velvet and it was simply amazing. He missed this feeling. "Goddamn baby," he growled. "This pussy..."

"Is it good?" she teased. 

"Fuck yes," he groaned. His hips met hers in hard, powerful thrusts that had them both moaning loudly. 

Arden tilted back, bracing her hands on his knees as her hips swayed. 

"Ooh, just like that," he commanded. "Dance on that dick, sweetheart. Fuck, you're so good." He nibbled on the underside of her breast, eliciting a breathy moan from her. 

She fell forward, their lips meeting in a frenzied kiss. Her hips picked up speed as she bounced and squeezed his dick. His hands went to her ass, alternating slaps on each cheek. 

"Oh, Grady" she moaned. Her breathing was high and sharp and he could feel her legs beginning to tremble. 

"You almost there, Arden?" he whispered in her ear. Grady nipped and sucked at her earlobe, smiling when her nails dug into his shoulders. 

"Yeah. Oh I'm gonna...oh fuck." She kissed him hard, biting down on his lip as she slammed into her climax. 

Her pussy's vice-like grip tightened even more, pushing Grady over the edge of pleasure right with her. He came with a low growl, his hips thrusting hard into hers. 

She was shaking, holding on to him for dear life, her arms wrapped around his neck as she rode out the aftershocks. 

They were both breathing heavy, heartbeats racing. Grady kissed her cheeks as his hands rubbed soothing circles on her back. After a few moments, she kissed him back, her tongue licking at the sore spot she caused when she bit his lip. 

Arden was the first to break the silence. "Wow."

Grady chuckled, nuzzling his face into her neck. "Yeah. I blame the new haircut."

********

So much has happened. For the first time Readers...I think I'm finally on the right path. There are still traces of doubts, remnants that will no doubt be here for a while. I'm still traveling on this road to recovery. But now I have someone who's been through this journey and lived to tell the tale. She's strong, and her support...it's just everything.

It's too soon to say how things will turn out. But this feeling, burning inside of me...it's hope. And it feels really good. 

Sorry to keep this short, but I'm saving my words of wisdom for my appearance on the Dahlia Monroe web radio show. Be sure to check it out.