5 comments/ 34901 views/ 6 favorites Sacred Love Ch. 00 By: Oceandiver Prologue You may wonder why I write this confession and put it out for the world to see. You may also believe that I harbor some sinister desire that my beautiful younger sister and I be condemned for our actions or simply find some sympathy amongst the world's readers. Somehow, the thought that we need forgiveness and despite the horrid life we were forced to accept, that we were somehow immoral in our ultimate decisions is not open for debate. This would be a wrong assumption because frankly, I do not give a damn about what others think when it comes to my relationship with my sister. I do not care what morality that a person holds nor do I care what spiritual mythology that is followed and least of all, I am not interested in any condemnation that may follow. My sweet nymph of a sister holds a tenderness that I do not possess. There was no one that was actively involved in our salvation. It was simply our personal hell that was our lives and existence. The fact was that no one seemed to care about the torture that we faced growing up. As such, we owe nothing but to ourselves. We, together, screamed for help that did not come. No other was there for my sweet child of a sister as she faced years of abuse. Only I was and still am as she was and is there for me. I do not care so much what was done to me; only the tears that my dear sibling shed time after time again were pure acid dissolving my very heart. I fought with all that exists in me to hold my vow to my darling child sister. Mind you my dear reader, both my sister and I believe in God, a merciful and loving Creator who in His wisdom brought us together forever. We are profoundly happy together and we share our love with all God's creatures and ones in need. We carry no guilt for our love and dream only of a better tomorrow. This is a story of pain, love, and survival and ultimately, a union between two like souls that have found a way to be tremendously happy together as only an older brother who is absolutely devoted to his living angel of a sister could be. We share bonds that cannot be replicated with any other human being. That of love on so many levels that no one that has not been there in the pits of battle or the blackness of desolation can completely understand. It is a story of love that transcended a brother's love for his sister and hers for him, a love of two best friends, a love in the face of turmoil and despair, an erotic love, and a love of two people who bonded at such a deep level that they share the same soul. Yes, my little sister is my lover, friend, confidant, my soul-mate, one who shares my past, present, and for all the years we have left, our future. So much conflict in our hearts has existed in my sister and me. Not a skirmish between the love that possessed us but the agonizing destruction that rained upon her sweet and gentle ambiance. She has always believed in a Higher Power, a God, and a Spirit that cares for us no matter what the horror that is inflicted upon us. I do not necessarily share my sweet sister's viewpoint completely but I have to wonder of the existence of her soul, if perhaps worthiness is the exclusive ticket to heaven, then that transcendental channel has been uniquely passed onto my sister and others like her. As earlier stated, I at least operate out of a hope in a Glorified Entity that honestly, I do not understand but am willing to accept. Without my sweet child of a younger sister, I would already be dead leaving waste and destruction in my wake. Of course, if Sissy is right, which she usually is, coupled with the intelligence that she possesses not to mention a deep abiding faith, I think that there would be better than a fair chance of a face to face with St. Michael and the arguments that would ensue, particularly from my sister, would mean that I had a reasonable chance of actually entering Eternity even if it meant the best I could do was mop Heaven's floors. I would gladly swill out toilets forever if it meant that my sweet child would never have to listen to crappy albums while being damned to sleep with old 70's porn stars. I would fondly embrace my eternal suffering, especially, if it is simply being a crap collector of angelic poo while knowing my sister was safe and happy. In the event I do a good job in my otherworldly existence, I have to believe that the reward is making love to my sister and an eternity with my beloved. The labor I must perform as a penance to be with my angel is easily something I can accept. Like I said, eternal salvation is my sweet little angel's beliefs. I think that at times there is nothing but oblivion and extinction but honestly, I hope I am wrong. My faith tends to return anytime I am within earshot of my sweet baby girl. My little sister would risk eternal fire than ever leave her brother for a minute despite the fact that I have killed. Yes, I have killed. The nightmare of that day will haunt me forever. My dear sister asked me to write our true story with her blessings in hopes that it will reach the few who have wondered if they are alone in their affections for one another and as a cathartic exercise for me. At first, I was hesitant but as with all things with my sister, I just cannot deny my sweet sibling. It is my sister's wish that we, as one voice, collectively stand against evil in this world and allow love to triumph in its many differing aspects. Our story is set in a timeframe that already has happened for the two of us. Although time slowly marches on changing the hopes, aspirations, and dreams for most while revealing their individual follies, our lives are locked in time, our love unchanging, when our love finally was realized and we became as one. Ashley is three years younger than I. Today, I am 28 and she is 25. Yet, we have shared all of her 25 years together being inseparable from time that she was born. A quarter of a century of love shared between two people with the hopes that the both of us will have an eternity more together. I have come to believe that my first three years of life were spent simply waiting for her spirit to manifest itself on Earth, and if not, then there is still something unexplainable that I do not as yet understand. Her influence over my belief system is more than profound. I am the first-born and I have to wonder despite my doubts if our love did not start in the hands of Providence long before we adopted these mortal coils we wear today. I do know that I absolutely do not have any earlier memories, that my entire being came into existence, my acceptance of linear time and history started the day my muse, my reason to exist, came into being with her birth. I have never been with another woman, nor do I wish to be, for I have already found the one who has captured my heart as I hers with a contentment that few understand. To describe Ashley today is to describe a wonderfully radiant and beautiful woman. When she enters a room, the air becomes fragrant with her unique scent that belies her seductive nature, the ambient light seems to become softer, the music of the day more enchanting, and she causes others to reach out with the gentle stirrings of their own souls. Her humor and smile are incredibly infectious as is her kindness. She causes all that come in contact with her to somehow desire to be better people and she passes that lovely attribute onto others. Despite her upbringing, she neither condemns nor passes judgment even though it would be understandable if she did. She carries no hatred, no animosity, no evil thought in her heart. My sweet darling baby of a sister has an evolved sense of love that only sees and hears a sweet song in the wind. Her love for me, she describes as a man and woman separated by an ocean and yet both hear the music of each other's soul driving inexplicably closer, that the waves of the waters are willed by the fury of love's young heart. My dear little girl sleeps every night in our bed and while horror tried to rip us apart, her very own belief in our existence, our love, no matter the strains and tribulations of malevolent intent would never keep us apart. I love my sweet baby sister more than life itself. Ashley is 5'6" tall with golden hair the color of the burning sun, of ripened wheat, of corn silk, of a wavelength of gold that I struggle to describe. It reaches in gentle waves to the middle of her erect back achingly teasing me to run my fingers through it countless times a day. Her eyes are pools that reflect not only her soul but others that see themselves in the way that she sees them. A blue, so deep and rich that I have never seen it manifested in another person or even nature itself. It is her blue, owned and defined by her alone. No matter how many countless times I have stared into those eyes, I never tire from the wonderment that it causes me. I am lifted on a cloud and lost in the swirling blue depths of her light. She is probably the most intelligent person that I have ever met and because of this incredible gift, this magnificent ability that she possesses, she may have very well saved both of our lives. My kid sister is slender, athletic with perky breasts that represent years of physical activity. An athlete of talent that engaged in sports from soccer to gymnastics to swimming to track, it was her personal avenue of escape from abuse for a few short hours each day and my opportunity to be absolutely sure that none reached out to harm her. Her sweet breasts, such a lovely visage, are not huge by any imagination, but firm with nipples that reach out slightly upwards and aureoles the size of half dollars inviting me to caress, nibble, and suck each one as she moans from sheer delight from the sensations that reach her. She has a perpetual tan, almost olive skin, without flaw, no scar or deformity which I find utterly incomprehensible due to the assaults upon her throughout the years. Her hands are slender and soft with long fingers and meticulously manicured nails. Clear, without polishes, they are radiant in their own right. From her slender sides and the gentle curve of her hips, down her feminine and extraordinarily strong legs to her small feet that will drive her crazy with lust when a kiss is placed upon them, my little sister is a figure of true natural beauty. From her throat emanates her personal melody, a voice so magnificent in its softness and her personal musical note that is distinctive only to her; it captures my full rapt attention any time I am so honored to hear her. I never tire from hearing her song. It is absolutely amazing that this swan of love is so full of happiness, love, compassion, and desire that when I think about the years of tears and grief that befell her, I am at a total loss. Like I said before, I am not concerned with what happened to me, only with my wonderful sibling who is life in itself to me. To take a gift such as my loving sister, whose beauty and wonderful smile already established itself at birth, to mistreat such an angel on earth, to force such a love as hers into pain, grief, and tears was a sin in itself. To live with a broken heart daily as the mistreatment compounded itself was a personal torture not only to my younger golden girl but it slowly caused my own descent into hell from which we both fought back to claim our lives as lovers and conquerors of adversity. Tears come to my eyes when my mind touches the emotions of the past as well as the happiness I feel today. Even in the darkest of hours, our love for each other granted respite and hope. Our hands intertwined forever from our earliest youth promising each other to never let go. Yes, I love my innocent little sister and will stand against the fury of Hades itself to protect her. She is mine now and forever, I lay claim to her. I became hers the moment she breathed her very first breath. Sacred Love Ch. 01 Chapter I - A Little Angel is Born Like I mentioned, my earliest memories revolve around Ashley upon her birth. It seemed that nothing existed before, just surreal grey. I have no conscious understanding of anything beforehand, so it would not be incorrect to believe that I came into being the same day, the same incomprehensibly delightful day in early June that my sister took her very first breath. Events and the passage of time began on June 12th at 7:36 AM in the morning for the both of us. I wear a little golden pendant today around my neck to represent the aura of her shining tresses with the numbers 736 engraved on it. At 7:37 AM, we existed together as love being defined moving through time. Our personal clocks moved forward and we both became aware of the tick-tock of each second as time slid forward propelling us into destiny. I suppose it does sound a bit poetic but when it comes to my little sister, she is truly artistry in motion. Likewise for many, the descent into hell is a journey that does not start with the very first minute of life but gradually degrades itself over time until a person realizes that they can give voice to the pain. As was the case for my dear Ashley, the day of her birth was cause for celebration. The moment I came into her presence something forever changed in me, the big brother of only three, that my little baby would be mine to protect and nurture, to define the limits of friendship between two people, to always know that a bond between a brother and sister that cannot be quite comprehended by inconsequential words but through the understanding of emotion and spirit. To see her now and know that I have an uninterrupted 25 years shared with this lovely woman who from the very second of her birth would define who we were and what we were to become. My father brought me into my mother's room at the hospital. I was afraid at first, not because of my little girl, but because everything was glowing fluorescent in the hospital, the smell of sanitized floors, of walls whose tiles were the color of green scrubs, the stainless steel racks holding all manner of supplies, from bed sheets to gauze, the rush of doctors and nurses making the way through the corridors of St. Mary's to the sheer size of people and structures were overwhelming to my senses as a small child. My father holding my little hand smiling at my mother and of the work that the two of them brought together to form their daughter and my sister. We walked slowly to the edge of my mother's bed and it was then that I noticed the tiny little bundle that she held. I could not quite make out what, I knew it was my sister, excitement and a host of new emotions flooded through me. Anticipation, anxiety, and admiration coursed through the ethereal substance of my soul that gave voice to my growing excitement that here, in my mother's arms, was my baby sister and I was her big brother. Big Brother. I liked how that sounded to my child's ears. My father whispered that into my ear as he approached my mother and his daughter with me for the very first time. Big brother to my little sister. A smile broke out upon my face and a tear slowly wound its way down my cheek as I gazed upon my dear little girl for the very first time. She mewled a little; sensing a presence that was different from all the noise, lights, pain, and harshness the insult of birth is upon a little angel coming into the world for the very first time. Years later, when she was five, she told me about a dream that she had when she was born, an actual first memory, of knowing that her guardian brother awaited her arrival and would be her personal possession forever; never leaving her side. I simply smiled, gathered my little sister in my arms, and held her close like I always do, kissing her cheeks, forehead, and gently brushing my lips upon the softness of her own. Looking deeply into those mesmerizing blue eyes feeling myself washed away and simultaneously captured by her very essence. I looked upon this sweet gift from God, my little sister, and she struggled mightily to turn her head towards me. My mother, smiling with deep affection despite the obvious exhaustion of carrying my precious tiny sister for nine months and the hours of agony forcing this little girl into world, said with a gleam in her eye, "Dear little Ashley, my sweet daughter, here is your brother that has come to gaze upon you and give his love to you this day forth and forever as all brothers do." Little did my mother know how prophetic those words would ultimately become. I leaned forward, still in the throes of nervousness and excitement, and looked at my little cherub. She opened her eyes a little then, I could already see the blueness in her eyes, and she did something I have never seen another baby do that early in life. She smiled. My little infant of a sister smiled at me and despite not having any muscle control over her body, managed to reach a little in my direction. I was overcome with affection towards my baby sister that tears flowed freely down my cheeks and I promised her right then in there, in front of both my mother and father, that I would be the best big brother in the entire world. I believe that I have kept that promise; at least, that is what Ashley tells me every day. I tentatively reached out to her tiny hands looking at my mother's eyes and receiving a nod of approval and held her little hand. I was surprised by the strength of those chubby little fingers when Ashley grasped my small hand with hers and curled her fingers around mine. I was rewarded with another toothless smile and a burp. I fell in love with her that very day. If life progressed from that day forward in the form that it had taken upon Ashley's birth, I believe that we would be like any other brother and sister, perhaps a little closer than most, but on the whole, a good family with strong ties with everyone involved. Life is not always ruled by saints but sometimes by demons that are very crafty in the disguises they take. As it was for Ashley, like I said, I am not concerned about me, but the sugary angel of my life. The twisted blackness when it came may have ruled the day but it would not conquer our lives. For Ashley's first seven years of life, she was the center of love given freely by my dear parents and of her big brother, already ten, and committed to the words he spoke to her on her very first day of life, "Big Brother, the best big brother in the whole world." My little sister, my little baby that would grow up to be my lover, was already my best friend and I was her hero, a boy who would never leave her behind, mistreat her, who found his greatest joy was when he made his innocent little girl laugh. Life was good for now. Sacred Love Ch. 02 Chapter II, Ashley, My Little Sister When my friends questioned me as to why I do not just leave that little kid at home, they already knew the answer or soon would when the flare of anger swept passed my eyes directly into their own. They grudgingly accepted the fact that Little Sister was going wherever Big Brother was going and I would never be a cause for her to have a tear or made to feel that she was not welcomed. I would never leave her behind and to be honest, I just wanted her with me. Ashley had already claimed a place in my heart and even though I was still too young to understand it, she was and is my very best friend. I was extremely proud of her as a young child and her beauty was already apparent with her golden hair, bright smile, and her personal love of sports. I loved just looking at my kid sister and my heart overflowed with joy with each beating moment that I shared with her. As it was, my friends quickly accepted my little sister. Already she had reached out with her infectious laugh and in short order, not only was she accepted into our group but everyone became very fond of her as well. Her intelligence, as I mentioned, was fashioned early on and it was formidable. She could easily banter words, trade insults, and walk circles around any of my friends, including me, but would always take care never to hurt a person's feelings in thought or deed. Although her favorite comeback, requiring little effort on her part was simply, "Bite me!" which invariably caused me laugh with glee. She never let sadness in anyone that crossed her path not feel her incredibly strong empathy. All that came into contact with her, their lives were made a little better just by the simple proximity with her purity. Animals of all shapes and sizes flocked to her and her adorable way she has with all life. By her insistency, we have two dogs, three cats, a rabbit, a parakeet, and a seemingly endless supply of wild animals that are tame in her presence. We live in the country and I suppose it is time for me to at least build a pole barn to facilitate her love of animals. This is something that we both have in common; however, the extraordinary level to which she has been able to sympathize with the other life of this planet I have not reached. It was not unusual to see a dozen children around her at any one time and an equivalent amount of furry little creatures as well. She shared freely of herself to everyone but for me, I had a special smile, touch, and look that she only reserved for me. On those special times, when we were completely alone, an impassioned partaking took place that can only be described as pure elation. As children, she would grab my hand and race with me to find solitude for the two of us so that the kisses and caresses shared would be ours alone. At the time, innocence unbroken still ruled the day and its complete interaction felt sanctified by a sense of rightness and beauty that drifted from our hearts to the source of all things. As she was a natural athlete, I struggled with continual shots to my ego when my child sister was selected to be on a pickup team among the neighbor kids before her big brother. Embarrassing yes, though, my pride and love for her overruled any pangs of jealously and envy I potentially felt over her. Indeed, my heart would sing in its happiness that she was so gifted. I never once showed any enmity towards her. I could feel nothing but true love for her. To be sure, while I do not possess the athletic talents and intelligence of my sweet girl, I am in no way by any means a pushover myself. I have always been strong, skilled, and relatively intelligent when compared to most but most she was not. She truly is elite now and as a child, superb in comparison to the neighborhood children. How does one feel jealous over a rare treasure whose talents might appear once in a million individuals? To be honest, I stood in awe before her and I still do today. That she shares my life, love, and desires; that she enthusiastically makes love to me with such frequency and reckless abandon is a wonder that I have no answer for. It is and for that I am grateful. Am I deserving of her, I think not but Ashley is quite adamant that I am. In this specific case, I will defer to her brilliance!