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That Damn Red Dress

By: lovecraft68



Author's Note: Welcome to my Valentine's Day contest story. I figure V-day stands for sweet clichés and Hallmark moments. So of course, I say, who says it has to be that way? A couple of disclaimers on this story. First, like much of my work, I tell a story, and there is a build up before the taboo encounter we read these stories for. Second and more importantly, be warned. This is not your typical incest tale of hot, taboo lust. This story is more about love and sacrifice than lust. It may not be for everyone. Having said that, I hope you choose to read on. LC68

*

"Happy early Valentine's Day, Nicole." 

I opened my eyes to see Josh placing a small, red box in my outstretched hand.

"Thank you!" I exclaimed.

I opened it and smiled at the heart-shaped ruby earrings. 

"They're beautiful!" Immediately removing the plain, silver hoops I had in my ears, I eagerly replaced them with the hearts. 

"So are you." he said, watching me with a big smile. Leaning over, he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Smooth," I laughed, "but don't worry, you were already going to get some tonight, and that was before this!"

"I'm hurt." He put his hand over his heart. "You think I am only looking to get laid?"

"Nah, I'm sure you want head too," I giggled.

"You got me," he sighed.

"Well, you'll get whatever you want." I put the hoops in the box and placed it on the nightstand. "You sure your dumb roommate isn't coming home early?"

"He's working until midnight, and besides, it's my room, and the doors locked."

"Yeah, but I think he listens."

"Close as he gets." Josh rolled his eyes.

I nodded and let myself relax. 

"Josh thanks again for doing this a couple of days early. I...I don't want to leave my dad alone on Valentine's Day and..."

"I know, and you know I'll help any way you need me to. The only thing I asked for was you not to bring it up tonight. I want tonight to be for us."

"I'm sorry." 

I looked down at the red robe I was wearing and tried to think happy thoughts, like what was under the robe. I had come to Josh's right from my shift at Barnes and Noble. While he waited patiently on the bed, I showered and donned my naughty new Valentine's lingerie. I planned on spending the whole night this time. My father was going to a Providence Bruins game with Uncle Rob and I didn't anticipate any drama as Josh had correctly called it.

I looked up, and catching sight of us in the mirror over his bureau, I told myself to just let go and enjoy. Josh was looking good. His blond hair was styled with a little gel in it, and although I knew he hated that look, I loved it. He was dressed only in jeans, and his efforts at the gym the last few months were really beginning to show off. My eyes fell to his crotch, and I could tell two things. One, he wasn't wearing any underwear, and two, that he was pretty damn happy to see me. 

My nipples told me they were enjoying what they were seeing as they stiffened beneath my robe. I took a brief glance at myself and quickly regretted it. Since mom passed, it seemed half the time when I looked at myself, I saw her. I took after her to the point that we really did look more like sisters. I had the same long, straight, black hair, big, brown doe-eyes and porcelain skin tone. Even our body type was identical. We were both tall and slender and, much to my chagrin when I was in my teens, I had inherited her small breasts. 

But I had also taken after her in the leg department. My legs seemed to go on forever, as one of the older guys at work had told me, and they were well shaped from the dance lessons I'd taken from mom at her studio. Mom had convinced me that smaller tits were an advantage because they would take much longer to sag and, when I got older and we talked real girl talk, she added that they were more sensitive.

Right now I definitely saw mom looking back at me. Looking at Josh, I imagined him as my father. I envisioned them as the young couple they were when they had met back in their freshman year of college. In fact they had met on Valentine's Day at a college party. They had both come with a date, and after sharing a dance, left together and never looked...

"Hey, you doing the 'mirror, mirror on the wall' routine?"

"Oh, sorry." I turned and smiled at him. "I was just looking at us."

"You do make us a cute couple." He grinned.

"You do okay." I kissed him softly, then stood up and turned so I was in front of him. 

Untying my robe I said, "Now you close your eyes."

"Yes ma'am." Josh closed his eyes, and the smile of anticipation on his face helped pulled me from the melancholy trail of thought I was heading down. 

I pulled the robe open and let it fall to the floor. Beneath was the red lingerie set I had bought for tonight. Like I saw myself, it was plain, but cute. The top was a red-lace vest that was held together by the strings that I had tied into a bow instead of lacing them so it could be removed with one pull of the string.

The vest only covered half my top, leaving my stomach bare. The bottom was a matching thong, tied at the hips with a heart shaped patch of lace between my thighs. 

"Okay."

He opened his eyes, and I raised my arms up, taking my long wet hair and lifting it over my head.

"Ta-da!" I exclaimed. "You like your gift?"

"Wow." Josh nodded approvingly. "Nicole, you look amazing."

"Yeah?" I gave a quick spin to show off my ass, "Not bad for a skinny girl with little titties?"

Josh rolled his eyes, and I laughed. Just before he asked me out, one of my girlfriends had told me that was how he had described me to his best friend.

"I happen to love skinny girls and little titties," he said. "It was a compliment."

"Sure it was." I sighed dramatically. "Well I think you should prove how much you like me."

"Oh, I will." Pulling me close, he began kissing my stomach. "I plan on showing you just how much you mean to me."

That was an odd remark, but at the moment all I cared about was how good his arms felt around my waist and the way he began teasing his tongue along the top of the thong. He gave my ass a squeeze, and I began running my hands up and down his strong back. My entire body relaxed, and as his hands slid up my stomach to cup my breasts through the lace, I released a contented sigh; tonight was really going to be a good night. 

Josh's lips worked their way up my stomach until he reached my chest. After giving each of my now-aching nipples a lingering kiss through the top, he took the string between his teeth and, pulling his head back, untied the knot. The top fell off to the sides exposing my small, but perfectly round, perky tits. Josh stared at them with a look of desire that sent a wave of heat to flow between my legs.

"I do love them." He started swirling the tip of his tongue across my left nipple, and with a moan, I grabbed the back of his head and shoved my chest into his face.

He laughed then sucked almost my entire tit into his mouth. I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through his hair, my hips rocking as he switched to the other nipple while rubbing my pussy through the thong.

"Hmm, feels like this is my gift too," I purred when he slipped his fingers into the thong and through my soft, wet lips.

"You're my gift." he whispered and, putting his arm around my neck, pulled my head down to kiss me.

I moaned as our lips parted and our tongues met. His fingers were gently exploring the folds of my pussy, and he was still teasing my nipple. Oh, I so needed this night! More so I needed to start making sure we had more of them. I gasped when his finger eased inside me, and my hips started grinding. His thumb found my throbbing clit, and I moaned even louder. I swore if I let him continue, I would cum right there in front of him in less than a minute. I wanted to, but Josh had been so patient the last few months and was being so good to me, I wanted to take care of him first.

I stepped back from him, groaning as his finger slipped from inside me. 

"What's the matter?" he asked nervously.

I couldn't blame him. The last couple of nights we had tried to spend together had been cut short, and half the time he had to deal with me being upset. But not this time. 

"Nothing at all; I just think that since I got beautiful earrings I should say thank you before you give me a reason to say thanks again!"

I quickly dropped to my knees and unsnapping his jeans, pulled his zipper down.

"I...I like how you think." He moaned as I reached in and grabbed his cock.

"Ohh, another present," I cooed when I freed him from his jeans.

Josh moaned when I began pumping his hard cock, and I smiled at the sound. I licked my lips at the sight of my slender fingers wrapped around his shaft and kissed the dripping tip. I drew back, taking a thin trail of pre cum with me and made show of licking my lips, playing with the sticky fluid.

"Someone's a bad girl tonight." He breathed as I started jerking him off faster.

"No, just thanking a good boy." I told him with a big smile.

"I like seeing you smile." 

"Really?" I winked. "You'd rather see me smile than see this?"

His reply turned into a long sigh of pleasure when I took his cock deep into my mouth. I wrapped my lips tightly around his shaft and bobbed my head slowly. 

"Damn," he moaned, "That Nickleback song is right; you do look cuter with something in your mouth."

I paused and giggled around his cock. Grabbing his jeans, I tugged them to the floor while still gently sucking on him, thinking there was something to be said for a guy that could make you laugh during a blow job. There was a lot to be said for Josh, and his humor was only a small part of it. Good looking, attentive, and most of all, sweet and understanding, he was by far the best person I had ever been with, and the one I considered my first true boyfriend.

Because of that I wanted to be damn good to him tonight, and sucking him as deep into my mouth as I could, I started moving my head faster. I cupped his balls and started rubbing them. Wrapping my fingers around the base of his shaft, I jerked him off as I continued to blow him. 

"Oh fuck, Nicole!" he groaned, beginning to run his fingers through my hair. "That feels damn good!"

Wanting to add to his pleasure, I fixed my big, brown eyes on his and looked him in the eye while working his cock down to the base. I shook my head back and forth, letting my tongue work back and forth across his shaft, and he moaned in appreciation. I slurped back up to the tip, took a deep breath and started blowing him for all I was worth. I bobbed my head rapidly, sucking him faster than I ever had before, and his thighs began trembling while he moaned my name over and over again. 

His hands tightened in my wet hair, and I started rubbing his balls faster. He groaned, and I prepared myself to receive something hot and sticky in my mouth, but instead he gasped, "Stop!"

I paused with his cock still in my mouth, and he panted, "I...I don't want to cum like this." He grinned. "Well, not first time anyway."

He placed his hands on my shoulders, and when I eased him from my mouth, he stood up and pulled me up with him. When we were face to face, he gave me a long, deep kiss that caused my knees to tremble. Then catching me off guard, he spun me around and pushed me onto the bed.

I laughed, and smiling down at me while kicking off his jeans, he said, "Tonight I will be a gentlemen and let the lady cum first."

No sooner had he said it, and he was on his knees between my legs. Pulling my thong to the side, he plunged his tongue inside me. I squealed with delight as his tongue explored my wet pussy before he worked his way teasingly through my lips. I shuddered when his tongue found my clit, and with a long sigh, I let my head fall back onto the bed. Josh eased a finger inside me, and as he began slowly thrusting it into me, he sucked my clit into his mouth.

I released a long moan and cupping my tits, started stroking my nipples. Placing my feet on his shoulders, I closed my eyes and sighed as Josh's tongue played my pussy to perfection. First he licked hard and fast to the point my back arched in anticipation of cumming, and then he slowed me down by leaving my clit and teasing through my wet lips. 

I knew I was going to cum nice and hard. Speaking of nice and hard, Josh would be inside me soon, and how I looked forward to that! He began working my clit again, and thinking it couldn't get much better than this, I began thrusting my hips, hinting at him that this time I didn't want any teasing. 

My eyes opened at the sound of my phone vibrating on the nightstand next to me. 

Josh paused, and I felt his body tense between my thighs. Dad was with my uncle. I was with Josh, and anyone else could be damned.

"Ignore it," I moaned, "You're the only thing my mouth is going near tonight."

Josh winked at me and resumed sucking my clit with a vengeance. I moaned, and arching my back, pushed hard on his shoulders with my feet. The phone beeped telling me I had a message, and then it immediately began vibrating again. This time Josh didn't let up, and throwing my head back, I released a long, high-pitched squeal as a much-needed and deserved orgasm crashed through me. 

Josh continued to lick as my hips bucked, grinding my wet quivering pink pussy into his face, and I could hear him moaning between my thighs as I came nice and hard for him. And damn I was cumming hard! My back cracked as I lifted it higher, and I cried out repeatedly as waves of pent-up pleasure crashed through me. When the last of the orgasm flowed through me, I let my legs fall from his shoulders and moaned, "Oh, baby, did I need that!"

Josh got onto the bed, and I forced my satisfied body to move around so that my head was on the pillow. Josh crawled up between my legs. I looked longingly at his cock pointing at my moist pussy, and putting my arms out, I said, "Come here, Valentine."

Josh gave me an adorable, shy smile and lowered himself into my arms. I moaned when he sank into my warm, welcoming flesh at the same time he entered my embrace. Josh slid his arms beneath me and began moving in a slow rhythm. Wrapping my long legs around him, I groaned when he began kissing my neck and turned my head to give him better access. Okay, I was wrong, it could get better.

Josh was taking his time, and because I'd come so hard, I was in no hurry. We both moaned softly with each deep thrust, and although he had taken his time before, I swore it had never felt better. The phone went off again, and I felt a twinge of uneasiness, but refused to give in and answer. This was our night. I felt him tense and whispered, "Let it go, baby, I am all yours."

"Mean that?" 

"With all my heart," I answered, ignoring the phone that was vibrating again.

"Good." Placing his lips to my ear he said softly, "I love you, Nicole."

Oh my God! I'd wanted to say it to him for weeks and had been afraid to. With everything going on, I hadn't wanted to seem needy. I felt a wave of emotion flow through me, and as my eyes began to fill I whispered, "I love you too, Josh!"

"Say it again." 

Smiling so hard my cheeks started to hurt, I repeated it, "I so love you!" That came out in a moan as he began to move faster within me, and I felt his body tensing up.

Josh was breathing heavy, and I started moving my hips, meeting his thrusts.

"Nicole, you feel so good, you..."

The phone started again. As it continued, Josh's went off on the other nightstand. I felt a stab of panic. Uncle Ron and my father both had Josh's number and...

"Jesus Christ!" Josh snapped, and to my dismay, pulled away from me.

"No!" I cried out, "Let it go!"

"They just keep calling!" 

Josh was about the most laid back guy I knew, and seeing him pissed off caused my tears of joy to change to tears of frustration. Even as I rolled over for my phone, I knew who it would be. Josh's had stopped ringing. I heard him say, "It was your uncle Ron."

I felt an all too familiar kick in my stomach and as I grabbed mine it started ringing again, "Uncle," I answered. "What's wrong?"

"Nicole. I'm so sorry. I know you had plans tonight and..."

"Is dad okay?"

"I...I'm on my way to pick him up. He's at the police station."

"The police!" I exclaimed. "He was supposed to be with you!"

"He blew me off, and I spent all night trying to find him."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"He did, twenty fucking times just now," Josh muttered.

I looked over and frowned to see he had slipped his jeans back on and was leaning against the bureau with his arms crossed, his blue eyes dark. 

"Because all you do is work and go to school and you need time with Josh." Ron explained. "It's important you have a life Nicole. Josh is a good kid and..."

"The police station?" I reminded him.

"I guess your dad went to the club where he and my sister used to go dancing. You know, the one she waitressed at?"

"The Strand," I sighed and rubbed at my damp eyes. 

I was watching Josh, who was deliberately avoiding my gaze. He looked angry, and I couldn't blame him! A perfect moment ruined!

"So I guess he had a few drinks and started going on and on about where Laura was. The guys there kept telling him there was no Laura, and he got belligerent. They told him to leave, and he started carrying on, so they had to call the cops."

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, you know the routine; by the time they got there, he had gone from obnoxious to bawling so he went along with them. They said they didn't want to bring him in, but they couldn't get a hold of anyone in his phone right away."

"I...had the ringer off. I probably missed them while I was in the shower. I'm sorry uncle. I should have..."

"No, you shouldn't have." That was said in unison by Josh across from me and Uncle in my ear. 

"You need to try to let go a little, Nicole," Uncle continued, "You can't baby sit him all the time."

"He's my father, and I should be the one to be there."

"Of course," Josh said sarcastically.

"On that note, Nicole, I hate to ask, but can you meet me at your house? I'm going to bail him out, but I can't stay with him tonight, I need to be at the ward at four A.M.; I have the first shift."

"I...I'll be there." I said quietly. "Thank you, uncle."

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Nicole. Next time I'll pick his stupid ass up at work so he can't pull this shit."

"He'll find a way." I ended the call and looked over at Josh.

I was sure my uncle could hang with dad for at least an hour or so, and taking a deep breath I said, "Hey, baby, where were we?"

"Where we were the last two times we got together. With your dad a mess, you upset and me alone." 

"My uncle doesn't need me home this second, Josh. We can..."

"We can what, Nicole? I can fuck you, and then you can get up and leave?"

"Well, uh, we've had to do that..."

"We shouldn't have had to tonight!" Josh shouted, startling me. "This was a big night, Nicole! I just told you I loved you!"

"And I love you and..."

"Then we have to stop in the middle of it so you can get caught back up in your father's bullshit, and now I'm supposed to just hop back on?"

"You don't have to be crude," I said softly, feeling the tears starting to flow down my cheeks. "And my dad has a problem, and he..."

"Doesn't want any fucking help!"

"He lost his wife!" I yelled back at him. "They were together since they were our age, and she was forty four when she died! That's a long time, Josh, you can't..."

"She died a year ago!" he continued shouting. "She was your mother, Nicole, and you moved on! You're the kid, and he's the parent, and it's like you're taking care of him!"

"I have too moved on!" Pissed off, I hopped off the bed, and going over to the chair in the corner, I picked up my panties and slid them on. "He took care of me my whole life."


That Damn Red Dress



"He's supposed to!" He shook his head. "And now you're leaving."

"Well I was going to stay awhile, but you're yelling at me!" I pulled my jeans on, and unable to spot my bra, pulled my T-shirt on without it. 

"Because I don't want an hour. I want the night you've been promising me!" He came around the bed, and stopping in front of me, put his hands out, "You haven't spent the night in over a month."

"I...I can't leave him alone. Tonight uncle was going to drop him off late and make sure there was no booze in the house. I have his car and hid the keys to mine."

"I even offered to stay at yours, but you said..."

"I can't have you there, he gets..." I sighed. "He loses track of where and when he is. He wouldn't know you and might get stupid."

"And how long before he gets stupid with you?" Josh asked.

"He would never." I tried to sound convincing because the sad fact was, dad was beginning to get funny around me. Not in a violent way though. In fact in a way his behavior was worse than that. It... "Are you not telling me something?"

"Huh?"

"You just got a look on your face." His eyes narrowed. "Your old man isn't hitting you, is he? Because I'll go over there and..."

"My dad would never hurt me, and you won't hurt him." I yelled in his face, "I'm sorry you're mad at me! I'm sorry you didn't get to blow a fucking load, okay? And I'm sorry my dad is having problems!"

"Blow a load?" He waved his hand disgustedly. "That's what you think I care about? Guess you don't know me. You mean a lot to me Nicole, and tonight was a big night for us. 

"We said we loved each other."

"And we do!" I told him, trying to calm down. "And if you love me you'll...."

"Don't even try that!" he pointed in my face. "Don't you dare try a guilt trip! Nicole your mother passed a year ago tomorrow. Your father has issues, and I've understood and dealt with it. But he's been out of control for two months, and it's to the point we barely see each other. I wanted one fucking night!" he walked away shaking his head. Then nodding, as if to his own thoughts, turned back to face me. "Tell me, Nicole, am I worth one night?"

"Of course you are! You're worth every night! Right now is hard, and it's because the anniversary is coming and...."

"Right now? Okay what about after Valentine's? You think he'll snap out of it?" He lowered his voice. "My dad was a drunk. Lost his job, lost me and my mom and eventually died of liver poisoning. He never stopped. Know what? Good riddance. If he didn't love us enough to straighten out, who cares? Your mom's brother is a shrink; he's offered your dad all kinds of help and for free. He doesn't fucking want it."

"It's not that easy," I countered. "He's..."

"Going downhill, and I am sorry, Nicole. But because he is going downhill, you need someone. I want to be that someone, but I'm twenty years old, and I don't need this kind of drama."

"What does that mean?" I asked, my stomach starting to turn.

"Stay tonight, like you promised."

"That's not fair!"

"Bullshit. If it was the first time sure, or the second or the fifth." He grunted. 

"I've lost track of how many nights you've cancelled or had to fuck and run," he sighed. "If we even got that much time together. You've proved you'll do anything you can for a sinking ship that doesn't care. Now prove you'll do something for me. Stay tonight."

"If I don't?" I crossed my arms as if daring him to say it.

"Then..." He looked away for a momen,t and when he looked back at me I was surprised to see tears in his eyes. "Then find someone who understands. I don't need all of you during this, Nicole, but I'm not going to feel like a prick for wanting some of you, and I'm not going to hang around and wait for it to the end the way I know it's going to."

"You think my father will kill himself?" I asked, my tears flowing harder now.

"I...I don't know. What I know is he's pretty much killed us, and I'm sorry. If you can't stay, I understand, but understand that you don't need to come back."

"Josh, please don't do this to me!" I started to sob. "I...I need you!"

"I need you too. Difference is I am here, and you never can be." He wiped at his eyes. "Just go, Nicole. I already know you're going to."

"Please?" I whimpered. "Please don't talk like that."

"Please go, Nicole." he said softly. "Your heart's with him right now, not me."

He sat on the bed and stared at the floor. I stood there crying softly, but he wouldn't look up. I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. I'd been through too much to fall apart for anyone. 

"Fine. I wish I'd answered the phone earlier. Then you wouldn't have said what you don't mean."

"I...do...I did mean it," he said, "But I'm too young for a one way street."

I started to say something, but instead, I put my head down and grabbing my purse, walked past him. I made my way slowly to the door, waiting for him to stop me, but when he spoke, it was to say, "I hope for both your sakes your dad gets help, Nicole. Good luck."

From I love you to good luck. I was leading some kind of life right now. I grabbed the knob then recalled the earrings. 

"I'll leave the earrings here." I said, starting to remove one.

"Keep them," he said without looking up. "I bought them for you."

"You sure?" 

"Why not? Trust me. They're not the only hearts you're taking from me tonight." 

*****

I sat on the couch waiting for Uncle Ron to show up with my father. At first, he had texted me to say that the police said it was too late to post bail, but uncle called in a favor, and was waiting for someone to call the sergeant. When I'd first gotten home, I'd seen that dad had stopped in at some point and made a couple of sandwiches. He left the mess on the coffee table along with four empty Budweiser bottles.

Still sniveling and trying to hold back tears from the argument with Josh, I mechanically washed the table, did the few dishes in the sink and tossed out the beer bottles. It did not escape my notice that the recycling bin was already overflowing with empties, and it had just been picked up three days ago. I wandered into Dad's room and looked sadly at the bed. On it was that goddamn red dress that I was dying to throw away. 

Instead, I hung it back up in mom's closet. Everything was still there just as it had been the morning she had driven off to work and never came home. Instead she was killed in a head on collision caused by the other driver having heart attack behind the wheel. Quite appropriately, it had been Friday the thirteenth. The next day was Valentine's and would have been the twenty fifth anniversary of the night they met. 

Because it fell on the most romantic day of the year, well maybe not in my case, I added dryly, they always made a bigger deal of it than their actual wedding anniversary. They were supposed to go to a fairly upscale party, and mom had bought a new dress. Dad had always loved mom in red, and she had picked out an elegant but sexy dress with the hem falling far below her knee, but with a slit almost up to her hip.

I'd seen her in it that night. She'd been so excited, she had to try it on for me. All she had talked about was how blown away dad was going to be. Mom had teased dad by showing it to him on the hanger. He had declared it his favorite without ever seeing mom in it and added that he would be thinking of it all the next day. As it turned out, the last dress dad had seen mom in was a black one we had picked to bury her in. Not that it mattered what she wore, the accident had been so horrific, it was a closed casket.

My eyes filled up, and after staring at the rows of dresses and shoes neatly lined up, as if awaiting her return, I slammed the closet door shut. I went out to the living room, where I sat and sobbed until all that was coming out were painful heaves. The crying was a mixture of old grief for mom and new pain from Josh. I held out hope he would call after tonight, but he was right; what the hell was going to change? Nothing that's what. At least not for the better. Not unless me or uncle could finally get it through to him to go get some therapy. 

At this point I didn't care that uncle was taking a long time to get dad. I needed the time to bawl like a baby and try to get myself together to deal with him. Hopefully, he would be in that state to just want to go to bed and alone. Several nights in the last month he wouldn't let himself fall asleep unless I stayed with him, and let's face it. It really wasn't me he was thinking of. 

I took a deep breath and wondered how much longer uncle and I could handle dad and keep him from either real trouble or doing real harm to himself. There was a part of me that wanted to just haul off and smack him for what tonight had cost me. I'd known Josh for a few months before we started dating, and with a smile, mom had predicted he would ask me out, that she could see it in how he looked at me. 

I know she would have loved to see me with him. Dad thought he was great too, but it was dad causing the problems. Tomorrow when he was sober, maybe I would point blank tell him what he had cost me. Maybe that would get through to him. Then again it could make him worse, the usual rock and a hard place. Looking over at the mantle, I stared at the picture of mom. Her big, brown eyes, looked as calm in the photo as they had been in real life. Mom rarely got upset, but when she did...

But the one thing she always said about dealing with someone you loved was "do what you have to and do it with love." She would sometimes add "no matter how bad you want to smack them." Well, in reality I couldn't smack my father, although the other night I had come close. Leaning back, I closed my stinging eyes and thought about the last few months.

Josh had been right; dad hadn't seemed too bad off immediately following mom's passing. But then again, Uncle Ron had taken some time off, and I did online courses that semester. One of us was always with him. Dad went back to work after a couple of months and looked as if he was getting into a good routine. 

I knew the exact day dad had begun the downhill trend. He asked me to help him pack mom's clothes to give to a women's shelter. He felt it was time, and there were a lot of nice things that women who were down on their luck could use. Mom would like that. It was about that time I had hinted mom might like him to not be alone, but he had looked at me like I was nuts, trying to claim that he would never. I made a comment that he was only forty five, but when he started talking about never being able to bring another woman into the house, I let it go.

When we opened the closet, the first thing we saw was that stupid dress hanging on the back of the door. I took it down, thinking that I might keep it for myself if I ever had a chance to go somewhere upscale enough. Dad took it from me and at first seemed okay. He took it over to lay it out on the bed. The next thing I knew, he was crying about how they never had that last night and he never said goodbye. All he wanted was just one more anniversary with her. 

He then said to leave everything as it was. Even my mother's dresser was the same, all her clothes in the drawers and her makeup and perfume lined up as neat as her clothes. At this point it was like an unhealthy shrine, but dad freaked at any suggestion of getting rid of it. I did try to toss the dress after the third time I had caught him crying over it, but he caught me. He was so angry, there was a moment I thought he might hit me. 

He was drunk at the time and for the most part had been since that night. A night didn't go by that he didn't drink at least a six pack and chase it down with a couple of shots while half paying attention to whatever was on TV. He said it was the only way he could sleep, and even then I would peek into his room and see him staring at the ceiling at all hours of the night. The last couple of months the drinking had increased, and he was missing time from work. I felt it was a matter of time before they ran out of patience, and he ended up fired. 

Mom had insurance, but dad paid my last two years of school upfront, and things were a little tight. I worked thirty or so hours at the bookstore in addition to a full course load at school. If he lost his job it wouldn't take more than couple of months for us to really be hurting, especially seeing he now seemed to own stock at the liquor store. 

I jumped at the sound of a car door then a moment later heard a second. I peeked out of the blinds to see my father leaning on Uncle Ron, who was trying to guide him up the porch stairs. I got up, and opening the door for them, stepped back as they staggered in.

"I'm telling you, the assholes were lying; Laura was there."

"No, Jim, she's not there anymore," my uncle answered in that even tone I knew must come from his years as a therapist.

"Then where is she?" Is had come out "ish," and from several feet away I picked up the distinct scent of Jack Daniels.

"You know where she is, Jim," Uncle replied calmly.

"Bullshit!" Dad snapped. He roughly slung his arm from around Uncle's shoulders and gave him a push. "You people are fucking with me."

My dad was a big guy; He stood just over six feet, and he carried an easy two hundred pounds. Although his days of working on the docks were over a decade ago when they gave him a shot at inside sales, he was as strong as a bull. Uncle was tall, almost dad's height, but like his sister and his niece, he was on the thin side. Uncle staggered, but caught his balance. 

Uncle gave me an exasperated look, and I shrugged. I was just getting ready to speak when dad's eyes widened, and he exclaimed, "There she is! There's my girl!"

He walked unevenly over to me and caught me in a hug that came close to crushing the breath from me. 

"Here's my beautiful baby!" he laughed.

"Easy!" I forced a laugh. "Your baby's delicate!" 

"Yeah." Dad released me from the bear hug, but kept his hands on my shoulders. Smiling down at me he said, "Always were a skinny little thing."

"Yup, hey dad you..."

"Nikki takes after you like that; kid eats like a bird and she's all legs."

Oh, no here we go.

"Dad, it's me."

I looked into his once-bright, blue eyes, which lately had a dull, lifeless look in them, and were surrounded by dark circles. As they were most of the time these days, they were bloodshot and glazed over.

"I know it's you my love." He smiled and cradled my cheek in the palm of his large hand. "See, Ronnie? Your pretty little sister is right here!"

"Jim, are you okay?" Uncle Ron stepped closer, his dark brown eyes narrowed in concern. I felt my nerves flutter. I'd never told him that recently when he was drunk, Dad thought I was...

"Fine, Ronnie. I'll tell you, you got some brains, but your baby sister got the looks, didn't you honey?"

Dad leaned forward and tried to kiss me. I turned my head quickly so his lips only grazed my cheek, and he laughed, "Oh, come on, don't be shy, Laura. We're married; your brother knows what we do."

"Dad, I...hey!" I exclaimed when his hand cupped my breast over my T-shirt. I shoved his hand down, and he grinned.

"Oh, that game?" 

He slipped his hand behind my head, and this time held it still as his lips descended towards me. 

"Hey!" Uncle called out. "That's your goddamn daughter!" 

He grabbed dad by the shoulder and yanked hard enough to spin him around to face him. Dad was too drunk to resist, and he would have fallen had I not got my hands on the back of his shirt to steady him. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked. "I can't touch my wife?"

"Jim, listen to me," Uncle said, once more speaking calmly. "That's not Laura, its Nicole. It's your little girl."

Dad turned back around so quickly, he almost fell again and stared at me. This time his eyes seemed to focus, and he gave me a weak smile, "Hey, kiddo. How was school?"

"It was good, dad," I told him.

"Good." He leaned forward and I flinched, but this time he gave my cheek a harmless peck. "Gotta get that education so you can make good money like your mom and your uncle." He sighed, "I wish I went to college."

"You did. You quit, remember?" Uncle reminded him. 

"I did, didn't I?" He shrugged. "Well, that's okay. How smart you are ain't what you're worth right?"

"Right," I said. "You feeling okay?"

"I am," he said. "You look pretty tonight." He peered at me through his drunken haze. "I like those earrings."

"Josh gave them to me tonight."

"Oh." He nodded. "I like that kid." His smile faded. "So today's Valentine's Day?"

"No!" Uncle and I snapped in unison. 

"It..." He began to sway on his feet, and uncle stepped up behind him. "No, it's the twelfth. Tomorrow is...the thirteenth."

His eyes immediately filled up and stared helplessly as he began to cry. "Oh my god, I...I know where Laura is! She's gone, she..."

"Jimmy, calm down." Uncle said.

"It's okay, dad," I said, fighting back my own tears. "She's at peace and..."

"She left me!" he moaned. "And I couldn't say goodbye!"

"That's okay, she knows you would have," Uncle told him coming around next to me and taking his arm. "How about we get you to bed?"

He stared at Uncle then looking at me closely, wiped his eyes. "My god, you look like your mother." He gently caressed my cheek. "You're so beautiful, Nikki. Just like her."

"Thanks, dad," I said, keeping my voice steady. "I'm how you can remember her every day." 

"It shouldn't be that way."

"No, it shouldn't," Uncle said. He succeeded in pulling him away from me and towards the corridor that led to the bedroom. "But it is, and even though we're sad, Laura's happy, and that's what we should think of."

"I want to be happy." Dad said softly.

"You can be buddy, we just have to get you someone to talk to that's all."

"I ain't talking to no shrink," Dad told him. "They're all fucking assholes."

"Thanks," Uncle said. Looking over his shoulder, he gave me a wink.

"Night, dad." I called out.

"Goodnight, Nikki." He turned and blew me a kiss. "You tell Josh, he better watch out or I'll take care of him."

"You already did, dad," I muttered as I watched Uncle half-drag him into the bedroom.

I sat on the couch, and few minutes later, Uncle Ron came down the hall and came over to sit next to me.

"He sleeping?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "He should be out for the night. The cops said he had quite a bit."

"He'll wake up," I told him. "I don't care how much he's had."

"Nicole, are you okay?"

"I...I don't know." I shrugged.

"It doesn't seem to be getting easier." He put his arm around me. "But he'll come around. Your dad was the toughest son of a bitch I knew. That guy is in there somewhere."

"I hope so. I'm worried about the fourteenth."

"It's Saturday. I'll be here in the morning with Aunt Kathy, and we'll take him out for the day. You can get some rest."

"I'm working ten to four."

"Well, after that you can go see Josh and have some fun." He touched the red heart in my ear. "Those are nice; I think someone is getting..."

"We broke up tonight." 

"What? But he gave you the..." He stopped when I started to cry. "Nicole, what happened?"

Haltingly, in between my tears, I told him about the fight. I left out exactly what we were doing, but I was pretty sure he could read between the lines. When I was finished, he hugged me close to him, and stroking my hair, he said, "Josh is gung ho for you honey. He'll call."

"I...I don't know."

"Know what I know?" He leaned back and pulling out a handkerchief, wiped at my cheeks, "I know that my sister told me before Josh asked you out that he was going to be her son."

"No. She...Did she really?" I asked.

"Yes, she did." He laughed, "Years ago, she told me I would marry Kathy, and at the time she was dating some dumb jock. But I had a thing for her, and he dumped her." He smiled. "My sister had a knack for that stuff. And she's watching over us, and she's probably whispering in that kid's ear he better not let you go."




That Damn Red Dress



"I don't blame him. Dad's...He's a lot Uncle."

"Yeah." He turned serious. "Nicole, has he ever...has he touched you like that before?"

"I..." I lowered my eyes. "He's tried to kiss me before, but that's the first time he touched me."

"You sure?"

"Well..." I hesitated.

"Nicole, you can tell me anything; you know that."

"Sometimes to help him sleep I lie down with him. A couple of nights he put his arm around me like I'm mom, but he doesn't you know..." I trailed off.

"Don't do that anymore."

"Dad would never hurt me."

"When he's himself, never. But Nicole, he...he's losing touch, and honey, he's a big strong guy and..."

"I said my dad would never hurt me!" I snapped. "And if I need to be in his bed sometimes for him to sleep, I'll do it! It's all I can do for him."

"You can't keep doing it."

"Mom said to do anything for the people you love and..."

"Do it with love." He nodded. "I know, and honey, I wish I could help." 

"I'll try talking to him again tomorrow when he gets up." I sighed. "He doesn't have to go to work until nine, but if I don't start him moving by seven, there's no chance."

"I'm sorry you had to grow up this quick."

"I'm twenty, not twelve," I said defensively.

"And my sister's daughter." He grinned. 

"I take that as a compliment." I managed to smile back.

"You better. She was a hell of a woman." He touched my hair. "And your dad is right, honey. You're a dead ringer, especially for her when she was your age." He glanced at his watch. "Well, it's after eleven, and I have to get up at three. My old ass has to get home. Sorry about tonight, hon, but I had to..."

"Don't worry," I told him. "Dad took care of me; I need to take care of him."

"Yeah, well, like I said, take my advice, and don't put yourself in that position, if for no other reason than how he would feel if he ever hurt you. Know what I mean?"

"I promise." 

"Alright, and when are you around tomorrow?"

"I don't work until the afternoon. Why?"

"I'm meeting with a woman tomorrow morning that used to work with me. I ran into her at the hospital a couple of days ago. She asked how you were doing, and I told her about your father. She said she was going to swing by so I can give her some details. She says she has an idea of something that could help."

"What?"

"No idea, except whatever it is won't mean anything if we don't get him to buy into it."

He stood up. "I'll call you in the morning. You go get some sleep, kiddo."

"I will." 

I walked him to the door, and locking it behind him, went down to my father's bedroom. I listened at the door and breathed a sigh of relief that all I could hear was him snoring. Maybe I would catch a break tonight. I went into the bathroom and turning on the hot water, stripped down. Looking at my nude form in the mirror, I sighed; in a better world I would still be at Josh's; showering with him behind me; running his hands over my soapy body and washing my hair and...

"Yeah, maybe in the movies," I told my image.

I stuck my hand in the shower to test the water and was starting to get in when I heard my uncle warning me about being careful with dad when he was drunk. I closed my eyes and recalled the look on his face when he tried to kiss me and how he had grabbed my breast. I hesitated, then stepping away from the shower, walked over to the door and locked it. 

*****

I awoke with start at the sound of something crashing. I sat up and listened, trying to slow the pounding in my chest. I didn't hear anything and was starting to wonder if I'd been dreaming, when I heard the unmistakable sound of breaking glass. I threw myself out of the bed and was almost out my door, before it dawned on me. I was only in a pair of cotton boy-shorts and a skimpy tank top. I started to go back to find my robe when I heard another crash and dad sobbing loudly.

Forgetting the robe, I ran down the hallway and entered his room to see him sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. He was sobbing loudly, and as I slowly approached, I looked around the room and saw that the mirror over mom's bureau was shattered. I peered through the dim light filtering through the window from the street light and didn't see any blood on his hands. 

Turning back to the mirror, I walked closer then saw the pieces of the Jack Daniels bottle mixed in with the shards of glass from the mirror. 

"Dad, you okay?"

"N...no, I'm alone! She left me alone!"

"You're not alone, Dad," I said softly as I began to carefully pick up the pieces of glass and drop them in the wastepaper basket next to the bureau. "You have me."

"I...have you?"

"Of course you do," I said. Giving up on finding all the pieces of glass in the dark, I turned to face him. Before I did, I caught a glimpse of the picture of him that had been on the bureau next to the one of mom. It was completely shattered, talk about irony.

I saw dad looking up at me, and I walked over to stand in front of him. "You'll always have me, dad." 

He looked confused and wiped at his bleary eyes. He had taken his shirt off, and I took in his broad shoulders and impressive arms. When he wasn't a mess, with his blond hair combed, his blue eyes bright, and flashing that big smile I used to see all the time, my father was a good looking guy. Maybe I would try to talk to him again about meeting someone. He had a lot to offer when he was himself and...

I came back from my thoughts at the feeling of his hand on my hip. I looked down and that's when I was reminded of the fact I was all but in my underwear. 

"I like those little shorts, Laura," he whispered, his eyes locked below my waist. "Cute and sexy." He looked up and smiled. "Just like you."

"Dad," I said evenly. "I am not your wife."

He chuckled. "Right, and what game is it tonight Laura? Are you the babysitter?"

If dad was recalling things they used to do, that was a little too much information for me. I began to step back, and my thoughts turned serious once more when he slipped his hand behind my back and wouldn't let me move.

"Are you a bad girl tonight, Laura?"

"No, I'm your daughter, dad. Please..."

"Daughter," he rolled his eyes. "That's kind of sick, don't you think?" He shrugged. "But whatever you want."

"Dad!" I snapped, pushing his arm from around me. "Knock it off."

"You're right," he said softly, his eyes now fixed on my chest. "We don't have to play a silly game. I love my wife, and I love to show you how much. Come here."

I started to step back, but he unexpectedly stood up. I tried to move too fast and almost fell. Dad caught me around my slender waist and easily pulled me against him. He brushed my hair from my face and brought his face to mine. I pushed against his chest, but couldn't budge him. I started to yell at him, but my mouth was smothered by his. He kissed me hard, and I grimaced. Not just at the fact it was my father's lips, but all I could taste was bourbon. 

I cried out when his tongue pushed against my lips, and I succeeded in turning my head from his.

"Stop it!" I yelled.

His lips fastened to my neck, and I elbowed him in the ribs. He seemed too far gone to notice and to my dismay I felt his hand slip under my shirt.

"Stop it!"

His hand closed over my breast, and at the same time, I felt his other hand start to reach into the top of my shorts.

"I missed you, Laura," he whispered in my ear.

Releasing my tit, he grabbed my wrist and with no warning, pressed my hand down on his crotch. At the feeling of how hard he was beneath his jeans and his hand beginning to slide between my thighs, I lost control. I brought my arm around as hard as I could, slapping him in the face. The slap sounded like a shot in the room, and dad's head snapped around hard to the side. His hand remained in my shorts, and beyond thought, I swung back handed and hit him even harder. 

This time when his head snapped around, there was a look of naked rage on his face, and he grabbed my wrist hard enough to make me yelp.

"Daddy, please!" I sobbed, "Please don't hurt me!"

He blinked at me, and trying to control myself, I whispered, "It's Nikki, daddy. I'm your little girl."

His eyes widened, and letting go of my wrist, he repeated, "Nikki."

"Yeah, daddy," I breathed, my heart pounding. "P...please, move your hand."

His hand was still in my shorts and inches from between my thighs.

"Oh my God!" he exclaimed, yanking his hand away so fast I heard the shorts rip along the waist band. "Nikki!"

"It's okay, dad," I began. "I..."

"Oh, honey!" he reached out for me, and when I stepped backwards, his eyes filled with tears. "D...don't be afraid of me Nikki! I...I promise. I'm okay now!" He put his arms out to me.

Part of me wanted to hesitate, but I could see he was as scared as I was. I stepped up to him and let him hug me. He held me tightly, and I could feel his tears on my cheek. "Honey, I...I'm so sorry, Oh god. What's fucking wrong with me?"

"You need help daddy." I said in his ear, "You have to talk to someone."

"They can't help. They don't understand!"

"They can, and they do, dad. I'll go with you."

"Oh, Nikki." He sobbed and resting his head on my shoulder, moaned, "Oh, God. She's gone. She really is gone."

"She's been gone," I told him. "You just keep reliving it."

"I can't believe I almost hurt you." He said, "I'm so sorry!"

"If you're sorry, you'll get help, dad," I said firmly. "Uncle Ron is coming tomorrow to talk to me about it."

"I...I promise I will."

"You promised before and then told uncle to screw himself," I reminded him.

"No, this time I...I will." 

I let myself relax and putting my arms around his shoulders, rubbed his back, "It's okay, dad. I know you wouldn't hurt me." That was not entirely true anymore, but for now he seemed himself.

"I don't ever want to hurt you." He sobbed in my ear, "You're all I have."

"Not true. You have uncle and aunty and friends at work. That's the booze talking. You're a good man."

"A good man would have said goodbye to his wife."

"Dad, why do you get so upset with that?"

I eased away from him and made sure to cross my arms over my breasts.

"Because I..." He looked away. "C...can't talk about it."

"Well you have to." I smiled and kissed his forehead. "But not tonight."

"I broke her mirror," he said sounding like a little kid. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I'll clean it up, and we can replace the glass. Now how about you go to sleep. You have to go to work tomorrow."

"Right."

"Go on." I pointed at the pillows. "Get comfy, and I'll fix the sheets."

"Thanks, Nikki," dad said quietly. "You're already an amazing woman."

"I have amazing parents."

"No, you had one, now you..."

"Still have one, now get some rest."

Dad nodded and sliding up the bed, swung his legs up on it.

"You want to get undressed?"

"Why?" he asked, his eyes already closing.

"Okay." I pulled the sheets up to his chest and started to turn around. 

"Nikki."

"Dad?"

"Will...will you lay here with me?"

Uncle Ron seemed like a prophet at this point. 

"I...I'd rather not, dad. You have to be able to sleep on your own."

He looked at me, his eyes still moist, "Please, honey? I...I need you."

I looked away and saw Mom's picture on the floor. Do what you have to and do it with love. I frowned down at my attire and looked around the room. Seeing one of dad'sT-shirts hung over the chair at the dresser, I grabbed it and slipped it on. I climbed onto the bed and lay on my back next to him. Dad rolled over on his side so he was facing me. He kissed my cheek and whispered, "Thank you Nikki. I'll be better, I promise."

"That would make me happy, dad." 

"Then I'll make my little girl happy." He closed his eyes, and within moments he was breathing deeply.

I relaxed onto the bed and stared at the ceiling fan, trying to stop my mind from racing. After a moment I closed my eyes and started to nod off. My eyes snapped open when I felt dad's hand on my arm. I looked over to see his lips moving.

"I love being next to you Laura." His hand moved and rested on my stomach. "I love you."

"I love you too, dad."

He frowned in his sleep. "Laura, you there?"

I could still smell the booze on him and knew between being exhausted and drunk he was more out of it than awake. If I pushed, he would wake up, and it would be off to the races again. I couldn't take anymore. 

"Good night, Jim," I said softly.

"I love you, Laura." He smiled in his sleep and pulled me closer to him.

I didn't fight it and slid myself close to him. His hand trailed up to just graze my breasts. I eased his arm down and resting my hand over his, said, "I...I love you too, Jim." 

He sighed happily and began snoring softly in my ear. I lay there trying to stay strong, but turning my head, began to cry softly into the pillow.

*****

I lay on the couch, drifting in and out of sleep, when my phone began to ring on the coffee table. The time on the cable box was eleven thirty. Uncle had called at ten to say he was coming over to see me at noon, and he had something that could help dad. I'd hoped to nap until then, but now the phone was ringing. I guess it was too much to ask. It stopped as I reached for it, and picking it up, I slid up into a sitting position on the couch. 

I rubbed at my burning eyes and didn't look to see who called right away. Instead I let my head fall back against the back of the couch and tried to clear the cobwebs from my mind. I'd barely slept last night, waking up every time dad twitched, worried about whether or not he would think I was mom again. This morning he didn't want to get up, and it took over three hours to get him in the car for work. He finally left and, to my relief, called me when he had gotten there to say he was okay. He sounded okay except for being tired and had asked if I wanted to go get pizza tonight.

I'd told him I had to work, but was glad to hear him offer to do something besides sit on the couch and drink. Once I got off the phone with him, I started to get ready for class, but once I was dressed realized I was too tired to sit there and listen to a two hour lecture on the mating habits of snakes. I was doing well in zoology and could afford to miss the lecture. Since then I had lain on the couch, zoning. 

The phone beeped in my hand telling I had a message and when I looked at it my heart leapt. Josh! I sat up and listened to the message.

"Hey, Nicole, it's me. Listen. Last night was...well it sucked. It sucked and I sucked. I acted like a selfish asshole, and well, I want to say I'm sorry. I know you're in class, but I'm heading to work and won't be able to talk until after five. Leave me a message if you want me to call you back." There was a pause then, "I...I do love you, Nicole."

"I love you too," I said out loud. 

Feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from me, I called him back and waited for it to go to voicemail.

"Hey, Selfish Asshole, it's the high-strung, defensive bitch from last night. Calling you back to..." I was trying to keep it light, but began to choke up, "I love you too. I...I'm working tonight, but break is at six. Please call me!"

I hung up before I made a fool out of myself by breaking down on a voice message. I put the phone down and wiping at my eyes, smiled. Josh had called. Dad sounded better, and Uncle Ron said he had something to talk about that might make things better. Maybe today would be a turning point. I heard a car door out front, and glancing out saw Uncle Ron getting out of his black BMW and heading up the stairs. 

He was dressed in a black suit and had mirrored sunglasses on. With a grin I recalled dad's favorite joke when Uncle was around. 

"So you know the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? The Beamer has the pricks on the inside!"

That was the dad I'd grown up with, not the miserable shell of the last few months. Hopefully we could get that back and soon. 

I opened the door and Uncle frowned when he saw me, "Damn Nicole, you sleep at all last night?"

"A little." I said as I stepped aside for him to enter. "But that's why I skipped class so I could try to nap a little."

"Hate to see you miss school, but not a bad idea." He walked over and sat in dad's armchair across from the couch. "He got off to work I take it?"

"Over an hour late, but he got there. You want anything?" 

"No, I just had an early lunch," he pointed at the couch. "Just relax. Was he okay?"

"Hung over, but seemed himself." I sighed as I flopped onto the couch. "Well, him for these days, quiet and moping." I smiled. "Josh called though."

"Great! See I told you, your mom would be prodding him from where she is. You going to see him tonight?"

"Work." I shrugged. "Maybe tomorrow night if you and aunty can keep dad out of trouble until maybe nine or so? Give me sometime after I get out of work to..."

"Consider it done. But why not go tonight; make it a complete hooky day?"

"I have to work." I curled my knees beneath me on the couch. "I need the money."

"If you need some help, I can..."

"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked, changing the subject.

He grinned. "Stubborn, but with your parents, you didn't have a chance." He nodded towards me. "Your mom sat like that all the time."

"Yeah, no blood test needed."

"It really is uncanny." He pointed at me. "It's not the typical mother-daughter resemblance. It's more like sisters, and close to twins. No surprise your father confuses you with her when he's drunk."

"Oh, it was a surprise the first time." I sighed.

"You avoid him last night?"

"Yes." I lied.

"You lying?"

"Nope."

He frowned then sat back in the chair. "Okay, well, I'll pretend I believe you and just go on to telling you what I came up with."

"Good call." I grinned.

"Honestly, Nicole. It was good I saw your father act like that with you because it made me think of something last night."

"What's that?"

"Well,it's not really my area of expertise, so I talked to a colleague this morning and ran it by her to see if it was a good situation for it and..."

"For what, Uncle?"

"Nicole, have you ever heard of a sexual surrogate?"

I nodded. "Sure. They're hookers who take Blue Cross."

"You're your dad's kid too when you open your mouth." He rolled his eyes. "Seriously, you know what they do?"

"They have sex with guys who can't get it up." I shrugged. "Hookers."

"It's more than that Nicole. A sexual surrogate is a professional who..."

"I go to school with a girl who's a professional," I interrupted. "She advertises on Craig's List. Makes a thousand a week."

"These women are for more than sex. Sex is mental and emotional, not just physical. Yes, they help guys who have ED or for whatever reason have issues being intimate with their spouse. But it's more than the act of sex. It's healing the problem."

"Okay," I told him, "but I don't think my father's problem is he's horny."

I kept it to myself that I had discovered last night he had no issues getting it up. He'd been damn hard, and as gross as it sounded, it hadn't escaped my attention that he wasn't exactly small. I blinked and rubbed my eyes again. Wow. I was getting loopy; that wasn't a normal thought to have. Then again, most fathers didn't stick their daughter's hand in their crotch.

"Not in those terms, but when he thought you were Laura, he wanted to...well, I think it could have gone well-past a kiss."

"He wouldn't..."

"Nicole, it's not about intentionally hurting you. What I'm saying is, I have no doubt that if he continued to see you as your mother, he would have kept going. Of course, in your case that couldn't happen, but..." He raised his finger as if he were teaching a class. "What if there was a woman who would let him keep thinking she was his wife? Let him be with her..."




That Damn Red Dress



"My dad doesn't need to get laid by some nurse with a degree in blow jobs." I waved my hand disgustedly. "This is what you think is a good idea?"

"I'm trying to help, Nicole. Now stop being a smart ass and hear me out."

"Sorry." I lowered my head. "I'm just a little..."

"Stressed out of your mind. Trust me. I want to help your dad as much for your sake as his. But please listen, okay?"

"Okay."

"It's not just the sex. What it will be about is closure. In a case like this, the surrogate won't just be there for sex, she'll be there to be your mother. We'll tell her everything so she'll know what she needs to say to him. Your father needs to say goodbye to his wife. She will let him do that and also tell him she wants him to be happy."

"Then why don't I just tell him that next time he thinks I'm her?" I asked.

"The intimacy is key. This is a man looking to say goodbye to his partner of over twenty years. Besides, he...he looked like that was what he wanted. Your aunt told me some things your mom told her." He looked away awkwardly, "Let's just say they were very active. Like every night kind of active, and they used to role play."

"Too much information," I told him, but recalled dad's little comments about games and the babysitter.

"Tell me about it, you forget your mom was my little sister. But that's important, the woman can be playful, and if she slips up a little, pretend it's a game."

"She won't look like her."

"My colleague knows several surrogates, and I gave her a picture of your mother. She says one of them has a resemblance, and trust me, with the right make up and..." He put his hands out as if pleading his case.

"It works, Nicole! The last case this woman had was a kid a little older than you who was obsessed with his mother. They used an older woman who looked like her to role play with him as his mother, and afterwards he began to have a normal relationship with his real mom because he...

"Mother?" I grimaced. "That's nasty."

"Incest fantasies are more common than you think. It's all over the internet."

"Whatever." I paused as something dawned on me. "Hey." I snapped my fingers. "I just realized something. He only thinks I'm mom or looks for her when he's drunk. He won't buy this when he is sober."

Uncle frowned. "Shit. I didn't think of that."

"You think he's going to walk into a room and say, "Well, you look like my wife. Why not?"

"It doesn't have to be in an office. It can be here."

"Here?"

"And..." he hesitated. "It doesn't sound like the most ethical thing, but we can do it when he's drunk. I mean, that's almost every night."

"That's..." I closed my eyes, trying to fight off the image of another woman in my mother's bed.

"There is precedent, and I'll be here as well. I'll be out here in case something..."

"Stop!" I snapped.

"What's the matter?"

"You want to get my father drunk when I'm trying to keep him from drinking?"

"Just one..."

"Then you're going to show up here with some bitch in a wig that's going to pretend to be my mother, and she's going to fuck my father in my mother's bed?"

"Nicole..."

"Are you fucking crazy?" I shouted at him. "I will not allow some fucking stranger to call herself my mother and act like a whore in her bed!"

"Calm down." He was using that professional tone and it fueled my rage.

"I will not!" I jumped, let my legs down, and stood up, "And don't talk to me like I'm a kid! I've been taking care of my father every day! You show up when you feel like it!"

"That's not true, Nicole."

"Bullshit! You were worried he might touch me last night, but you left didn't you?"

"I can't just sleep over, I have..."

"A wife and a life. I had a life too. But the point is, don't you dare talk down to me!"

"You're taking this the wrong way, Nicole."

"There is no other way to take it! You want me to let you trick my father with a fucking prostitute and do it in my mother's bed!"

"It will help him and..."

"I said no!" This came out in nothing short of a scream, and I kept going. "You will not bring a whore into my mother's bedroom to fuck my father! You won't!" He began to speak, but I raised my voice even more, "Hey, know what? Why don't we put a picture of mom on the bed so she can watch and really insult her memory?"

"Your mother would want him better no matter what it took."

"My mother would not want her memory defiled in her own bed! I don't give shit who you think you are. You're not doing it!"

"Fine, then in a motel, we..."

"Shut up!" I screamed. "What part of 'no' don't you understand! My father is not one of your guinea pigs! You thought this would make me happy? Then you don't give a shit about my mother!"

"Enough!" he yelled back at me. "That's enough! Now sit down!"

I'd never heard him raise his voice before, and stunned, I sat down on the couch.

"Now you listen to me." Getting up from the chair, he sat next to me on the couch and spoke in a low tone. I could hear his voice trembling. "When your mother died, everyone was worried about you and they should have been. They were worried about your dad and still are and they should be, but know what? Everyone seemed to forget that that was my little sister who died." He paused as his voice began to crack. "My baby sister was killed. Gone, just like that. We were so close, but does anyone think of it like that? No, they're too busy being worried about you and your dad."

"I...Uncle, I'm sorry." My voice broke, and I put my hand over his. "I...I didn't mean to yell. I...I just don't want my dad hurt anymore and...if he realizes it's not her..."

"I...I'm sorry too." He took a deep breath. "Nicole, how I get through is telling myself the dead have no worries. They are at peace. It's the ones left behind who hurt. I've known your dad since he met my sister. He's like the brother I never wanted." He gave me a sad grin. "Pain in the ass, but I love him, and you're not only my niece, but you're my sister. You have her blood, her looks, her heart. You're how I remember her, and it's a good memory. It kills me to see him like this and you struggling to deal with it."

"I...I don't know what...."

"Look." He put his hand over mine. "I wouldn't suggest anything that could hurt him. Now, yes, there is a chance it could backfire, but I discussed it with my colleague, and she says he is perfect for it. He seems to be driven by something more than saying goodbye. I have no idea what it is, do you?"

"No." I paused, thinking of last night. "But he started to say something last night to me. Like there was more then he said he couldn't talk about it."

"Hmm, he was sleeping when I left, so I guess that was when you weren't in his room?"

"You got me," I sighed.

"I am a professional," he said with a wink, "and you suck at lying. Really, Nicole, watch out."

"I acted like mom for a couple of minutes, and said I loved him as her to get him to go to sleep."

"See, it could work."

"Hey, why...why not let me just talk to him as my mom and say what I need to and..."

"Because he will want more than talk. Look, let's say you're married, been married for years. Somehow you find out it will be the last time you see your spouse. You wouldn't make love that one last time? To say goodbye?"

"We could try it."

"If it blows up, it would be worse if you were the one tricking him."

"Oh."

"Okay. Tell you what. You made a good point about it being here. I wasn't thinking of anything but the familiarity of the room helping. So would you be willing if we tried a hotel?"

"If you want it to be with a surrogate, he has to be sober and agree." I told him, wiping my eyes.

"He...he'll never agree to that," Uncle said, sounding frustrated. "I can't even get him to make an appointment."

"I'll get him to talk to you and the woman you spoke to today." I sighed, "If I have to tell him we're having lunch with someone, that's what I'll do."

"That would be a trick," he chided me.

"But it's not a woman turning one. I need to think of what's right for dad, and I'm not sure I could have him lied to like that."

"You, my dear, niece..." He kissed my cheek. "...are my sister through and through. That sweet look covers up a nasty set of claws. But you only scratch when you're trying to help." He reached into his pocket when his phone started buzzing. "That's my alarm; I have to be back by one."

"Okay. I...I'm sorry again."

"Don't be, we're all just trying to get through. We'll hold off for now, but how about a deal?"

"What's that?"

"He gets much worse, Nicole, and we'll need to do something drastic. These things don't fix themselves. He may not be far from hurting himself."

"I know." I said softly.

"So, if he is no better in the next few weeks, I want you to promise me we meet with the surrogate and talk about it."

"Fair enough."

"In the meantime." He stood up. "The next time he's out of it and rambling, try to get out of him what you think he's holding back. If there is something we don't know, it might be something that can make all the difference."

"I'll do what I can. I just don't want to..."

"Honey, remember what your mom said, if it's someone you love do what you need to, but always with love. It makes a big difference, and we'll be acting with love no matter what we do. And sometimes you really have to do whatever it takes."

"Well, he sounded better today, maybe once today and tomorrow is over, he'll get better."

"Maybe." He walked over to the door. "You never know. Give me a call if you need me."

"I will and I think dad will be better soon." I watched him walk to his car and tried to convince myself to believe my own words. 

*****

I looked up from the notes from today's class that my friend Krissy had e-mailed to me, and saw it was almost 3:30. I had already showered and dressed in the black slacks and Barnes and Nobles T-shirt, so all I had to do was grab something to take with me for break, and I'd be on my way. I walked over to fridge, grabbed a yogurt from inside and a banana from the top of it, and grabbed my keys. I was just opening the front door when I saw a red Ford Taurus pull up with dad in the passenger seat.

"Oh, no." I whispered when I saw the driver was his boss, Mr. Wilkins. 

Mr. Wilkins got out of the car, came around to open dad's door, and reached in to help him get out. Dad stood slowly, and taking him by the arm, Mr. Wilkins began leading him up to the porch. Dad looked as if he were walking okay, but was moving slowly and with his head down. I left the house and met them at the bottom of the steps.

"Dad, are you okay?" 

He looked up at me, and I saw his eyes were red and, as they were more often than not, glazed over.

"I...I...don't know," he said quietly. "I....I need to be home."

He pulled away from Mr. Wilkins who let him go, and, without another look at me, he went up the stairs, swayed unsteadily for a moment then walked into the house.

"I was going to call you, but he said not to," Mr. Wilkins began. "And, I...I just needed to get him out of there."

"What happened?"

"Well, his secretary said she heard something crash in his office, and he had locked the door and wouldn't answer the phone. She called security, and they forced the door.He was sitting on the floor crying, and he had a pint bottle in his hand that I guess was in his desk.

"Oh my god," I whispered.

"He was holding a picture of your mother that I think he knocked off the desk and broke. He...he wouldn't say anything except he had to get home to his baby, and he just kept crying." He shook his head, "I was going to call 911, but he didn't seem like he wanted to hurt anyone, and I was afraid they would keep him, so I brought him home."

"Thank you," I told him. 

"Besides," he began, looking at me nervously, "I need to tell you, Nicole, that he has to get some help. Jim's worked for us for years. He's a great asset to the company and a good guy, but his attendance is getting worse, and a couple of times I've suspected he's been drinking during lunch."

"I'm sorry, Mr..."

"I'm sorry to tell you. You're a little young to have to handle this, and you don't have to. We have an intervention program. If your dad signs off on it, we can get him into a good rehab for a month. It would really help him out and there's no cost."

"I...I don't want to see him..."

"Nicole, if he shows up under the influence again, his choice will be to accept help or be suspended. He does it again and refuses, then the company has warned him and offered him help. He will be let go." He seemed genuinely upset. "I don't want that to happen. I know what he's going through, but I don't have full say. It's policy."

"I...I understand." Last night Uncle had predicted dad's worsening attraction to me, and just hours ago had mentioned him getting worse. Why were people only right about bad things?

"When he's in a better way, please talk to him. He has some vacation time. If he wants to take a few days he's welcome to just call and let me know."

"I will." I extended my hand, and he took it. "Thank you."

"I wish I could do more." He squeezed my hand. "Hang in there, kid. The real Jim's in there somewhere, you just have to find him and get him to come back out."

I quickly entered the house, and when dad wasn't in the living room, all but ran down the hallway to the bedroom. The door was shut, and I could hear him sobbing behind it. I couldn't leave him like this. I ran back into the living room, and taking my phone from my purse, called Chris from work.

"Hey, Nicole, what's up?"

"Hey, Chris, I know it's really short notice, but you still looking for hours?"

"All I can get!"

"Can you take my shift? It's four to nine."

"I can be there in fifteen minutes."

"Thanks, and please tell Reggie I had an emergency at home, and I'll call in a little while."

"Yeah, no problem. I hope everything's okay."

"Me too."

"Thanks for the hours, Nicole, I really need the money!"

"Me too," I said to myself as I hung up. 

I shoved the phone in my pocket, and went back down the hallway to stand by the door. Dad was still sobbing, and everything in me wanted to just go sit on the couch and wait until he came out or just keep checking on him every few minutes. I didn't want to see him like this anymore. I did the best I could, but like Josh had said last night, twenty was young to handle all this. I was supposed to just be going to school and enjoying my boyfriend, not taking care of a parent like he was a child.

I started to turn away but remembered my mother. Uncle was right, mom had always come across as sweet, but she was a tough woman when it counted. I looked back at the door. "Do what you have to and do it with love," I whispered.

"Don't worry, mom." I nodded as if she could hear me. "I'll take care of him."

I opened the bedroom door and felt my heart break. Dad was still fully dressed and sitting on the bed. In his arms was that damn red dress. It was laid across his arms and lap, and he cradled it as if it were a child. His head was down as he cried.

"Dad, put that away," I said, walking up to him. "It's not her."

"I just wanted to see her in it," he said without looking up. "Today was the day she left and didn't come back! She bought this for me, for our special night, and we never got it."

"You got twenty five years of special nights," I told him, sitting next to him and putting my arm around him. "That one didn't matter."

"It did!" he sobbed. "All I wanted was to see her one more time, to get that one more night! To tell her..."

"Goodbye, I know." 

"To tell her I was sorry."

"Sorry?" I turned sideways to be able to see his face. "Sorry about what?"

"This dress." He lifted his head and faced me. "We...we had a fight about the dress."

As upset as he was, I felt a sense of excitement. He was actually talking to me. Trying to sound as calm as Uncle would, I prodded him. "But I thought you loved the dress!"

"I...did when she showed me, but..."

"But what?"

"We...there were some things going on we didn't tell you about. We had some money trouble. Mom's company was struggling, and she had to take a pay cut or lose her job. I hadn't drummed up much business for work, and we had just paid your tuition. I loved the dress, and then the next morning I found the price tag."

"You...fought over a dress?" I wanted to smack myself for saying it like that, but he had to be kidding.

"This was a two hundred dollar dress. We...a check ended up bouncing over it, and...I just lost it and yelled at her and told her to take it back. She said no, she bought it for me and wanted me to see her in it."

He wiped at his eyes and swallowed hard. "I told her I didn't want to see her in it. Told her I would rather not see her at all that night than see that dress."

"She told me, then maybe you won't see me, and she went into the bathroom and showered and..."

"Got into the accident." I finished.

"I told her I didn't want to see her! That was the last thing I said to her!" He began to sob again. "She died with me saying that!"

"Dad, she knew you were just mad. You guys fought before."

"And always said we were sorry, and never went to bed mad!"

"I...I tried to call her on my way to work. I thought she was just mad and didn't answer. She...she was already gone."

"Dad, mom knows everything where she is now," I told him. "She knows you were sorry, bet she was too. It's okay."

He shook his head. "It's not. I should have never said that! Over a dress, over money! Now this dress is what I have to look at.I deserve to look at it! God I wish I could see her in it!"

He lowered his head, and bringing the dress up, buried his face in it.

"Just one more night!" he moaned. "One more time to show her I loved her."

I removed my arm from him. He was beyond any comfort I could give him. I sat there stunned. All this from a simple argument over money. Then again what did I expect? Real life wasn't like books and movies; there was no big horrible secret, just an everyday argument with terrible timing. Watching dad hold the dress, I thought about my uncle's idea. If the woman knew this, she could tell dad she forgave him then tell him goodbye. It wasn't a bad idea, but no way would I allow sex in their bed.

Why did there have to be sex at all? Uncle had a point about how a couple would choose to spend their last night together, but would it be necessary? Maybe the woman could just talk to him. Dad exhaled loudly and, as if right on cue, looked at me and cocked his head as if he were confused. His eyes looked less focused than they had a few minutes ago, and I figured whatever he had to drink was beginning to hit him harder. 

"Are those new earrings?" he asked.

"No, I told you. Josh gave them to me."

"Josh?" He gave me sly smile. "You making up a boyfriend to get me jealous?"

I started to tell him it was me, but paused and thought again about the surrogate idea. Who looked like mom more than me? Even my voice was similar to hers to the point people used to mix us up on the phone all the time. 

Returning his smile, I asked, "Maybe. Are you jealous, Jim?"

"No, I know you're just messing with me."

"You're right." I nodded. "You look really tired, honey. Why don't you lie down?"

"Um," he looked at the dress, and then at me, and began rubbing at his temple. "I..." His eyes seemed to clear, and I held my breath, hoping he didn't just realize what I'd been doing. "Yeah, maybe I will. My head's pounding."

"Good." Standing up, I said, "Just kick those shoes off; you know I hate you wearing shoes on this rug."

"Yeah, sorry." Using his feet, he pushed the shoes off and stood up. "I...I don't remember coming in here. When did you get home?"

"Been home," I pulled the covers down. "Now get some sleep."




That Damn Red Dress



"You coming to bed?"

"In a little while."

"Well don't be too long." He grinned. "Or take your time, and you can wake me up the way you love to."

"Hmm, sounds like fun." I did the best I could to sound sexy. "But you have to be asleep for me to do that."

"Okay." Dad swayed slightly as he made his way around the bed. When he stretched out, I pulled the covers up to his chest.

"Sweet dreams." I told him.

"What, no kiss?"

I looked down at him, and taking a deep breath, leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Well, tried to anyway. Dad caught me around my waist and pulled me down to him so I was bent over the bed, my chest pressed to his. I felt a moment of panic when he pressed his lips hard to mine, but instead of pulling away, I not only endured the kiss, but returned it as much as I could allow myself to. His hand slid down my back and squeezed my ass.

"You do have the cutest little ass," he said, his face inches from mine. "Sure you don't want to come to bed. I'll rub your back and earn my goodnight kiss."

Ugh! Nevertheless, I remained calm and said, "I have to help Nikki with something then shower. I'll come to bed soon."

"Fine." He kissed me again, and when his tongue slipped against my lips, it was more than I could handle. I jerked my head from him. 

He narrowed his eyes, and I thought I'd blown it, but with a grin, he gave my ass a slap that caused me to yelp in surprise. He said, "Tease." He slipped his arm from me. "I'll take care of you later."

He gave me a gentle smile, and the adoring look on his face as he thought he was staring at his departed wife caused my throat to tighten. 

"Good night, beautiful."

"Goodnight, baby." I gave his hand a squeeze as mom always did if we were all watching TV and she went to bed before he did. 

I walked over and drew the blinds down. It was hard to believe it was only five o'clock. It was still light out, and although I doubted I would be lucky enough for him to sleep through the night, I would keep the room dark, just in case. I made my way around the bed and was thrilled to see dad's eyes were shut and he was breathing deeply. I was excited as well. This little experiment told me I might be able to do what Uncle wanted, but by myself, without some paid professional treating my father like he was some piece of meat. 

I was opening the door, when dad called, "Tell Nikki I said, goodnight, and I love her."

"I will, honey." I fought for control and added, "She loves you too."

*****

I opened my eyes at the sound of my alarm going off. Rolling over, I hit snooze and lying on my back, stretched before settling back onto the bed with a contented sigh. It was eight A.M. Dad had slept through the night, and so had I. 

Last night was easily the best night's sleep I'd had in weeks. After I left dad sleeping I'd heated up some left over pork chops and watched TV. Dad didn't sleep straight through, he stumbled out of his room around nine and sat at the table, listlessly eating the grilled cheese sandwich and bowl of soup I'd made for him. 

He seemed as if he had sobered somewhat, but was withdrawn. I tried to make small talk, but he pretty much just grunted. That was until out of the blue he said, "I had a dream about your mom."

I'd asked what it was about and he shrugged, "I...not much. I remember her standing over me telling me goodnight." He went silent then continued, "I'd give anything to hear that one more time for real."

I didn't push him about it, but felt even more confidence that I could help him. I would just have to figure out the right way to do it. After a few more minutes of one-sided conversation, dad got up and after taking a shower, went back to bed and stayed there for the night. I'd stayed up until eleven and after listening at his door and hearing nothing but his snoring, I'd gone to bed and went out like a light. 

The only downside of last night was Josh hadn't called when he said he was going to. I thought about trying him, but didn't want to look pathetic. I didn't need any help with that these days. As if my thought had summoned him my phone began to ring and seeing his picture pop up on the screen I answered, "Hey, I..."

"I'm sorry I didn't call last night." He blurted out right away. "I forgot my phone at Ron's house and had to go over my mother's and..."

"It's okay," I told him, "but I'm glad you called."

"Glad you answered." He sighed heavily into the phone. "Listen Nicole, I was a total asshole."

"Yes," I said.

"I was selfish and...I guess just frustrated. I feel bad for you and your father, but there's nothing I can do."

"Me either, but..."

"But I was wrong. What I can do is never do what I did last night. You need me Nicole and I made things worse. I promise I won't do it again."

"I understand Josh. Trust me he's my dad, and I want to smack him." I did, as a matter of fact, just last night when he tried to feel me up.

"Yeah well, I...look I told you what my dad was like, and I thought about it the other night. I never tried to help my father. I just thought he was a useless prick and let him just do what he wanted and forgot about him."

"You were young, and he was never really good to you." I pointed out.

"No excuse. I could have tried. On the rare occasions he came to see me and was sober, he tried, and I didn't want to hear it. Maybe there was nothing I could do, but I should have tried. I should have done what you do and just tried to show I still cared."

"Josh, don't do that. My father raised me. Yours..."

"My point is you're a hell of person with a big heart, and you put me to shame. I don't deserve you."

"That's a little dramatic," I laughed, "but I like it."

"But even though I don't, I still hope you want me around."

"Of course I do!"

"Good, because I meant it what I said, I love you, Nicole."

"Love you too Josh!" I smiled against the phone. A good night and a good morning.

"And from now on, you just do what you have to until your dad gets better."

"I think that might be soon." I said hopefully.

"Great, but if not, I'll be beside you no matter what. Because Nicole, you are worth the wait."

"Aww, that's sweet!"

"And your dad has to get better because you never know, I might have to ask him a big question some day."

"Question?"

"I'm an old fashioned guy," he declared. "And he needs to be here for me to ask for his daughter's hand some day."

I laughed into the phone. "Let's not get carried away. Besides it's not my hand that you want."

"Not true, that time in the movie theater you..."

"Hey stop that, I was reaching for the popcorn."

"Sure you were. Nicole, I mean it, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'll let you make it up to me."

"What are you doing after work today?"

"Hey, my uncle and aunt are spending it with dad because it was mom and dad's anniversary, and Uncle said he would keep him busy for a while tonight in case I wanted to go out."

"Great, restaurants will be crazy, but maybe we can..."

"How about I come over, and we figure out where we left off last night?"

"I...like how you think! How about I grab you at work, you can come back here and shower."

"Sounds good." I looked at the clock. "Speaking of work, I have to get moving."

"No problem." He paused. "Love you."

"Love you too," I said, and as I hung up nodded in satisfaction. Things would start to be okay. I could feel it now.

Getting out of bed, I tossed on my robe and headed for the bathroom. I stopped near dad's door and listened. There was no sound, and it dawned on me that since he got home last night he must have slept over fourteen hours. I knocked softly, "Hey, dad, you up?"

I received no answer and knocked louder. When there was still nothing, I felt a chill run down my spine.

"Relax." I said aloud. "He's fine, he's always fine."

I opened the bedroom door and saw dad lying on his side, facing me. He had that damn red dress pulled against him like it was a woman, but what caused my heart to freeze was the small, empty pint bottle on the bed next to him and worse, the pill bottle in his hand. 

"Dad!" I yelled, running over to the bed, my mind racing. 

He still didn't stir, but as I reached the bed, I could see his chest moving as he breathed. My body flooded with relief, and I snatched up the pill bottle and looked at the label. If this wasn't so scary I would have laughed. Dad had grabbed the bottle of prescription antacids that mom had to take for her acid reflux.

"Well, at least you won't get heartburn." I muttered and tossed the bottle into the wastepaper basket. 

I picked up the bottle and sniffing, it winced at the powerful smell of whiskey. I tossed that away as well and sitting on the edge of the bed, watched my father lie there with the dress. He was holding it like it was mom. His arm around the middle and his face buried in it as if it was mom's hair. I had a flashback of being a young girl and running into their bedroom on Saturday mornings to wake dad up to watch cartoons with me.

They were always like this. Mom's slender form spooned into his large body. His arm around her waist, just under her breasts and her hand was always over his. Dad's face would be buried in her hair and...

My father had just tried to kill himself.

The thought struck me like a blow, and I realized I was kneeling on the floor. I didn't remember moving. Dad had only failed because Uncle had thrown out anything in the medicine cabinet that he could have done it with. What if he tried again? What if next time he brought something home to do it with? Or next time, not be so drunk and find something in the house to hurt himself?

I closed my eyes and fought to control my breathing. I had to do something. This was it; dad was at the end of the rope. Uncle would have him in his sight all day today, but what about tonight? Or tomorrow? I put my hands on the bed and pushed myself to my feet. I had to get it together. I couldn't miss work today, but afterwards I wouldn't go with Josh. I would have to come home and be ready for whatever the hell was next. 

Looking down at dad I wanted to grab that damn red dress and burn the fucking thing. I narrowed my eyes while looking at dad's face nuzzled in it. I had fooled him last night on the fly with no preparation. He already thought I was mom half the time most likely because he wanted to. And what did he really want? To see mom in that fucking dress and to have their night, to say I'm sorry, I love you and goodbye. 

I heard Josh's voice telling me to do anything I had to. I backed away from the bed, turned around, and went back into my room. Grabbing my phone, I called Uncle. "Hey, kiddo." He answered, "I know you have to be in work for ten we'll be there by nine thirty."

"I'll try to have him at least up by then." I said, "But Uncle Ron, I need..."

"Rough night last night?"

"The worst so far." I quickly told him what happened.

"Nicole, I'm going to keep him at our house tonight and..."

"No," I said softly. "You need to bring him home tonight and...you need to take him to a bar and let him drink."

"What?"

"I'm going to compromise with you, Uncle. I think you're right about getting someone to be mom to forgive him."

"Forgive?"

"They had a fight that morning. It was a stupid one, but..."

"No, that explains it all," he said. "Misplaced guilt. So you want me to see if I can get that woman to..."

"No, it's going to be me."

"Nicole, are you..."

"He always thinks I'm her, and I know what to say to him now. I can do it."

"Nicole, it's not safe for you to..."

"Uncle, trust me. He believes I am her because I am her. I'm part of her. He senses that; it's not just that I look like her. He won't be fooled by someone else."

"I...okay, but I'll be there in another room in case."

"No. I need to be alone with him."

"Nicole, listen we talked about this yesterday. He's going to look for more than goodbye, if you know what I mean."

"I know what you mean, and I'll handle it."

"I don't want you alone with him. You get him thinking like that he...he could hurt you."

"He'll never hurt me." I told him, and I meant it.

"You can't be sure of that."

"Yes, I can. Please, just trust me. Please? If it doesn't work, we'll do it your way with a surrogate, but I want to be the one, if I can."

"I...if something happens to you, Nicole, I won't be able to..."

"Please let me do this for my father and my mother and...and you Uncle. Let me put this to rest."

He sighed heavily. "I'll have him there by seven. One word of advice, keep the conversation out of the bedroom, that might be a way to keep him from thinking about more than just conversation.You better call me and let me know what happened."

"Thank you."

"I'll see you in an hour to pick him up."

I hung up, and sitting on the bed, looked at the picture of mom and me from my high school graduation. Do what you have to and do it with love. My father wasn't going to hurt me because I was going to do anything I had to for him to be himself again. Even that if it came down to it.

If I had to, I would give him my body to heal his heart. He would never know. I would, but I would know I did it for the right reasons. If it worked, I could live with it. If it didn't, things couldn't get much worse. 

"I'm sorry, mom," I whispered, looking at her smiling at me in the picture. "But I'll be doing it for him and with love." Lowering my eyes, I finished, "Please don't be mad at me."

*****

Exiting the shower, I looked at the clock and saw it was six thirty. Uncle had texted me to say they were at a sports bar, and dad was feeling pretty good. He would have him home at seven. After drying off, I blow-dried my hair, something I normally never did, but mom would tease her straight hair out for dad when they went out. The dryer would accomplish that to a degree. When I was done, I went into their bedroom where I'd already lit several candles around the room and went over to mom's bureau. 

Everything was as it was when she died, except for a couple of things that had broken when dad threw the bottle at it. I put on mom's favorite shade of red lipstick and added some eyeliner and just a little blush to add some color to my fair cheeks. I looked for her Coco Chanel perfume, but frowned when I remembered the bottle had been one of the causalities. There were only two other options, and I went with Eternity. I sprayed a little on my neck then between my bare breasts.

I hesitated, recalling mom telling me where else she would use perfume. She would spray a little on the insides of her thighs, telling me with a wink, "Hey, you never know."

Telling myself I wouldn't need to, but just in case, I sprayed my inner thighs. I looked at my face and nodded, the makeup added even more to our already amazing resemblance. I took in my small breasts and worked my way down my freshly shaved pussy. Another detail mom had shared with me when I was old enough to talk about sex was her preference down there.

"It won't come to that," I told my reflection, but didn't sound too convincing.

Turning to the bed I slipped on the red lace bra and matching thong I'd picked up on the way home. I'd debated asking Josh to drop off the outfit I'd left at his house when I stormed out, but wearing that for him and possibly my father was a creepy thought even amongst the other creepy thoughts that were trying to overrun my mind. 

On that note, I turned my gaze to the creepiest part of the night; that damn red dress. I had dropped it off at the cleaners on the way to work and paid extra to have it done for when I came home. I picked it up as if it were something that was going to bite me and taking it off the hangar, slipped down over my head. 

When I turned and looked in the mirror I rolled my eyes. There were no straps, just a tie around the neck. I looked down and realized the front of the dress had cups built into it. Slipping my bra off, I muttered, "Can't dress me up and take me anywhere."

Tossing the bra to the side, I tied the dress behind my neck and turned so I could look over my shoulder. The dress left my entire back open, leaving me wondering if mom had planned to freeze all night last year. Then again it was worn more for later I was sure. I was able to reach back and zip the dress up over the top of my ass and noticed how snug it fit even on my slender frame. 

My ass was well defined and standing sideways, I trailed my eyes up the long slit that exposed me leg well above my mid thigh. Even my small breasts were propped up by the built in bra to the point I had more cleavage than I'd had in anything else I'd ever worn. On one hand the dress was stunning. But on the other it was a fuck me dress if I ever saw one. Mom was a confident woman to be wearing it in her forties, but she did have the body for it. 

Sitting on the bed, I slipped on the red stiletto heels mom had bought with the dress. They buckled around the ankles and if I thought the dress screamed fuck me, these shoes were definitely meant to stay on after the dress came off. Taking in the finished product in the old round mirror I had sat on the bureau to replace the one dad broke, I began rethinking my approach.

I figured the dress was where dad was focusing his pain and it would overwhelm him and guarantee he would want to believe I was mom with all of his heart. But Uncle's words kept coming back to me about intimacy, and I knew if I wore this in front of Josh I would be lucky not to get outright attacked. Fortunately when I called and cancelled on him for tonight he had been as understanding as he promised he would be. If this all worked out I would hopefully be able to make it up to him and soon.

Thinking of Josh caused me to reach up and touch the ruby hearts he had given me. I should take them out and find a pair of mom's, but wearing them gave me a sense of comfort. Just as the dress was part of mom, whether I liked it or not, the earrings represented the life I hoped I could have soon. 

My phone beeped on the bureau, and picking it up, I read the text from Uncle.

"We're outside the house. I am going to walk him to the door and make sure he goes in. Text me if anything happens!"

I replied, "Don't come in it will ruin the set up. I promise I'll call you later."

I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. It was time to save my father from himself, no matter what it took. I went down the hallway and watched from an angle as the front door opened. Dad walked unsteadily into the living room, and I caught a brief glimpse of Uncle behind him before he closed the door. 

Dad stood over near the couch and was looking around. He was dressed in a button down white shirt and jeans and I noticed he had shaved and his hair was brushed. With the exception of when he went to work it was the best he had looked in a long time. 

"Nikki?" He called out, "You home?"

He sounded clearer than I had hoped he would. Things were pretty bad when you wanted your father to be drunk. I felt a twinge of nerves and considered slipping back into my room and changing. I gathered my resolve and peeking just my head around the corner said, "Nikki's not home, baby, she's out with friends."

Dad stiffened and slowly turned to look at me.

"Laura?"

"Well, who else would be here waiting for you?" I gave him a sly smile. "We have the house to ourselves, Jim. How about you come into the bedroom and show me how much you love your Valentine?"

Dad looked confused and my heart skipped a beat. But a moment later a smile spread across his face. "You rather stay home than go out?"

"Oh, yeah." I told him, "But I did dress up for you. Come see!"

I ducked back into the hallway and moving as fast as the heels would let me, I got into the room before he could see me. I went and stood in front of the bed and awaited the moment of truth. Dad entered the room and when his gaze fell on me he whispered, "Oh, Laura, look at you. You're beautiful!"




That Damn Red Dress



"Why, thank you. Not so bad yourself, baby."

Putting my arms out, I said, "How about you come closer?"

Dad stared longingly at me, but before he started over, he slipped his shoes off. Oh, boy, here we go. That thought continued when he took a moment to remove his socks.

"I take it you think I'm a sure thing?" I joked nervously.

"You usually are." He said his voice distant as his eyes continued to look me up and down. "Laura that dress is amazing. You're amazing."

That was the segue I needed, and as that door opened, I stepped right in.

"Yeah? Yesterday you wanted me to take it back."

He walked towards me, and I could see his eyes filling up, "Laura, I'm so sorry I said that! I...it was a lot of money, and we didn't have it and..."

He was now in front of me and putting my hands on his shoulders, I said, "Jim, it's okay. It was stupid fight. We've had hundreds over the years." I smiled. "I'm not mad."

"You...you're not?"

"Not at all." Feeling pretty good at this point, I pushed my lips out in a pout, "Not mad at me are you?"

"No!" he exclaimed, slipping his arms around my narrow waist. "You were just trying to make tonight special."

"Any night with you is special."

"So you...you forgive me?" He asked, his eyes wide like a child who'd just come clean to his parents.

I could feel his hands trembling on the bare skin of my lower back and wrapping my arms around his neck, I said softly, "I forgive you, Jim. I love you too much to ever be mad at you."

In the ridiculous heels I was close to his height and my eyes locked on his. I saw tears in his, but he had a smile on his face that made my heart soar.

"I was afraid you...you were still mad at me."

"Never," I assured him, and going for full effect, I gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "We've never gone to bed mad and never will."

"That's right we never have." He drew me closer to him and leaned in for a kiss. 

I stayed still and let him press his lips to mine. Ireturned the long, slow kiss. I could feel my fingers trembling where my hands were entwined behind his neck and hoped he didn't notice. Mercifully he broke the kiss without trying to slip his tongue in my mouth. As it was all I could taste was whiskey. His hand ran up my back and through my hair, sending a shiver through me. 

"You know the best thing about never going to bed mad?"

"W...what's that?" I asked, feeling my stomach sink.

"We get to have fun making up."

"True, but you know Jim, I..."

"And it is Valentine's Day." He continued, and I gasped when his other hand trailed down over my ass and cupped my cheek in his large hand. "And I have a very pretty present to unwrap."

He gave my ass a squeeze and sliding my hair to the side, leaned in and kissed my neck. I fought off the desire to pull my head back as he began gently sucking just below my ear. His fingers were running through my hair, and his hand was caressing my ass. 

"That...that feels nice." I told him. 

I let my hands wander up and down his back, and he made a soft whimpering sound in my ear. "Damn, I've looked forward to you all day," he said and grabbing the zipper of my dress, began to pull it down.

I panicked and stepped back from him. He had been holding me loosely, and I was able to disengage his arm from around my waist easily.

"You know, I...I'm not..."

I was going to say didn't feel well which wasn't a lie, but stopped when his eyes widened.

"Wait," He said softly, "You..."

Oh shit! I'd blown it! He was starting to realize...

"You don't want me."

"Of course I do! I just..."

"You are still mad at me." He shook his head. "I knew it! You're trying to be nice, but I hurt your feelings, and now you don't want me!"

He started to turn away from me. "I...I fucked up, Laura. I...I'm sorry you're still mad. I'll go sleep on the couch and..."

Oh, no you don't! Moving quickly I grabbed his arm and spun him to face me. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him hard. He gasped as my lips pressed to his and throwing all caution to the wind, I pushed my tongue against his lips. Dad parted his lips and groaned softly when my tongue slipped over his. His arms went back around my waist, and I let him pull me to him. 

Even as my tongue danced across his and our lips worked across each other, my mind was racing. What I was doing was wrong for so many reasons, and uncle had been right. Dad needed to consummate that final night. Mom surrendering to him would be the ultimate sign of forgiveness. But it was too late for me to back down now. If I let him walk away, the next time with another woman might not work. I'd gambled that I could fool him, and I had, but I'd screwed up in thinking a kiss and "I'm not mad" would be enough.

Dad's hands were wandering up and down my ass and back, and I felt his crotch digging into my stomach as his hips moved back and forth. Even through the clothes I could feel he was hard and knew it was time to decide how far I would take this. Dad's tongue was now playfully tickling the roof of my mouth and I was struck by the thoughts of where else he would want his tongue and where he would want mine. 

Dad gave my hair a tug, just enough to move my head back, and he eagerly buried his face in my neck. I released an exaggerated moan and let my head fall to the side, allowing him better access to my soft skin. His lips were sliding up and down my neck, and his left hand had dropped below my waist and began caressing my thigh through the slit. He worked down my neck and started nibbling on my shoulder.

I pushed myself to move and putting my hands between us, took a deep breath, prayed my mother would understand, and started unbuttoning his shirt. My fingers were shaking, and I was struggling with the buttons, but dad was too engrossed in fondling his daughter's ass and pressing his lips to mine again. His tongue drove into my mouth, and I whimpered nervously, sure it came across as excitement. 

I got the last button undone and pulling his shirt from his jeans, slid it over his broad shoulders and down his arms. Dad released my ass long enough to let me push the shirt from his hands then put his arms around me. I ran my hands up and down his arms and had the strange thought that they really did feel nice. His body was tense, his impressive muscles bulging under his skin as my fingers trailed down his arm

He moaned into our kiss as my hands began rubbing his chest, and I could feel his cock poking into my stomach. His cock, my father's cock. There was something wrong with using those words together. I told myself to just let go, to somehow pretend he was just some good looking guy I wanted to fool around with. Problem was I'd been pretty much a good girl, and had only had sex with two others before Josh. 

I wasn't much of a seductress, but at this point I had been with Josh long enough to know what he liked and how to make him happy. Trying desperately to forget whose tongue was currently probing my mouth and whose hands were fondling my ass, I teased my long, red nails over his nipples, and he groaned, deep in his throat. I broke the kiss and as he had done, began kissing his neck. 

His arms tightened around me as I started to suck gently on his neck and continued to run my nails in circles around his nipples. My mouth left his neck, and I started kissing the top of his chest, telling myself to be his lover, not his daughter. I groaned when his hand slipped inside the dress and between my legs. The edge of his hand stroked the thin material of the thong, and I gasped at the contact. 

He turned his hand and began rubbing his fingers up and down the length of my pussy. I stiffened against him, and with an effort of will, stayed there while he stroked me. His fingers found my clit through the thong, and I groaned. This time it wasn't forced. His touch was causing my clit to swell, and in spite of the situation, I noticed my hips beginning to move. 

That's it, I told myself, just let go. Play now and pay later, and something told me I would make myself pay for this if something went wrong. I could feel the thong sticking to my lips as my pussy began to moisten from the attention. Dad's hand ran up my back, under my long, dark hair, and rested on my neck. I lowered my hands, now rubbing his stomach.I told myself they needed to be even lower and soon to make this seem real to him.

Being that in his mind dad was with the woman he'd spent a lifetime with, he had no such qualms. His fingers worked inside my thong, and I groaned when his strong fingers rubbed my bare pussy. My knees were shaking. I lowered my head and, as I would do if it were Josh, flicked my tongue across his nipple.

"Hmm, that's a new one," Dad murmured into my ear, "but I like it."

Note to self, mom never licked his nipples. The thought would have been funny if not for the fact my father's fingers were sliding through the lips of my pussy. They were meeting no resistance as my flesh was wet from being fondled. I gasped when the tips of his fingers struck my clit, and telling myself it was too late now, I opened my legs wider, encouraging him to continue.

"That...that feels good, Jim," I purred, "I...oh!"

I cried out when he eased one of his thick fingers inside me. He pushed it in farther, and I bit my lip before I could tell him to stop. I moaned softly when he added a second finger, and then winced when he began to thrust them into me. His fingers were damn big, and I had no doubt from what I had felt through his jeans the other night that his cock wasn't going to be small. The thought my father's cock was going to be inside and fairly soon caused me to release a soft whimper.

That whimper coincided with the moment my father's thumb found my clit.

"You like that, my love?" he asked. "You like me playing with your pussy?"

"Oh, yes." I sighed, "I...I love how you touch me."

"I'd love you to touch me." He pushed hips against me. "After all, we do have a tradition."

Tradition? What tradition? What did mom do on Valentine's? Mom had been more than upfront with sex talk and had occasionally given me a few visuals I could have done without, but I had no idea what he was talking about. What I did know was his thumb on my clit was getting a reaction from my body, and my hips were rocking, pushing his fingers deeper inside me. Considering his size and strength, I'd assumed my father would have a rough touch. Yet his thumb was barely grazing my clit in a teasing, circular movement, and his fingers were moving slowly, not plunging into me. 

My attention turned to the feeling of dad tugging on the tie around my neck. I felt it untie and the top of the dress loosen. His hand came around to the front, and grabbing the top of the dress, he smiled. "As good as this dress is, I know what's underneath is even better." He pulled the top down, and I moaned when my small breasts sprang free. 

His hand was immediately on my right breast, and I shuddered involuntarily as he fondled my soft flesh. My breast was completely covered by his large hand, and like my clit, I felt my nipple stiffen at the sensation of his palm caressing it. I was breathing hard both from nerves and my body automatically responding to the contact. His thumb was still toying with my clit, rubbing a little then stopping. He was taking his time, teasing and playing, touching me in the way a long time lover who was in no hurry would.

But to him I was that long-time lover, and knowing I needed to act accordingly, I grabbed the top of his jeans and unsnapped them. Moving quickly to not lose my nerve, I unzipped him and pushed my hand inside. He moaned as my hand slid along the length of his long and extremely hard cock. Moving his hand, he cupped my breast and began running his thumb around my nipple in the same manner he was teasing my clit. 

Leaning my head on his shoulder so he couldn't see my nervousness, I gripped his cock through his underwear and stoked him. His hips started rocking and his fingers picked up speed, moving faster within me. His thumb pressed firmly against my hard button, and I moaned into his neck as he was now moving it in hard, fast circles. His hand switched to my other nipple, his fingers finding my swollen pink flesh and rolling it between his fingers.

Again I was surprised at his soft touch. But nowhere near as surprised as I was when I felt the beginning of an orgasm stirring within me. My hips were moving faster into his hand, and I was moaning as much as I was breathing at this point. I kept my hand moving on his cock, trying not to think about how I was going to be able to let him put it inside me. Dad was breathing hard as well, and his fingers were trembling on my nipple. 

Dad surprised me by dropping down on his knees in front of me. That move took my hand from his cock, but put his face low enough for him to take my nipple into his mouth. I moaned in what I had to admit was surprised pleasure at the feeling of his warm mouth and soft tongue on my excited skin. Reaching back, he unzipped my dress and tugged it down over my hips. He removed his hand from my pussy, and I swore the whimper I released had an edge of disappointment to it.

His lips fastened around my nipple, dad pushed the dress down my legs and to the floor. He put his hands on my slender hips and switched to sucking my other nipple. I put my hands on his shoulders and then happened to turn my head. I was confronted by the sight of me standing dressed in only a thong and heels, before my kneeling father who was sucking on his daughter's tits under the illusion they were his wife's. I felt a kick in my stomach, and as dad's hand tried to find its place between my legs, I stepped back from him. 

My legs hit the back of the bed, and I fell into a sitting position. Dad looked up at me and smiled. "Oh, you do remember."

"R...remember what?" Still unnerved, but determined to play this out to the end, I lowered my head, looking up at him through my lashes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do, you little tart," he laughed, then caused me to want to look away when he paused to put his fingers in his mouth and suck on them. "A sweet tart at that." He winked.

"Nope." I shook my head. "I...Think you should tell me."

"Oh, you want me to say it?" he shrugged and standing up, stepped between my legs. 

This height put my face level with his stomach, and to my dismay, he put his hands on his jeans and started to push them down. 

"Seeing I always make sure my love comes first on Valentine's Day I get to cum first." He reached out and tapped my lip, "Right in that not-so-sweet, little mouth."

Dad pushed his jeans down and his underwear with them. Just before they went past his crotch I closed my eyes. I wanted to ask for the strength to do this, but doubted God would be interested in helping me give my father a blow job. Just like any other guy, Nicole. Just relax and pretend it's just a hot night with Josh. I heard dad laugh.

"You can open your eyes now, your gift's unwrapped."

I opened my eyes, and they continued to widen at the sight of my father's cock. Damn he was big! Bigger than Josh, and he was bigger than the couple of guys I'd fooled around with in high school. He wasn't just long, but thick and I had the unwanted memory of mom laughing on the phone telling her friend that when it came to sex, my father had more than most women could handle. She hadn't been kidding. 

Dad was looking down at me expectantly, and reaching out, I tentatively wrapped my hand around him. He was so thick my fingers didn't touch around him, and I was amazed at how goddamn hard he was. I started stroking him and watched as a thick stream of pre cum oozed from his purple head. He moaned softly and reaching out, started playing with my nipples as I jerked him. I began to pump my hand faster, thinking he hadn't been with anyone since mom, and it probably wouldn't take a lot to get him off. 

Excited by the idea of dodging having him in my mouth, I brought my other hand into play, cupping his large, heavy balls and rubbing them. Dad sighed and his hips began to thrust, sliding his cock through my hand. I ran my hand over his dripping tip, getting it wet, and then started jerking him faster, my now slick had sliding easily along his long, hard shaft.

"That feels good," he moaned.

I started pumping faster while playing with his balls. I leaned closer figuring when he went off I'd let him come on my tits, but his next words changed that.

"That's cheating," he said, "I could give myself a hand job," he laughed. "Come on Laura, stop teasing and wrap those pretty lips around your husband's cock."

"H...how romantic." I tried to laugh.

"We'll be romantic later." His hand slid behind my head and played with my hair. "Come on, honey, give me a nice long kiss."

Gathering my resolve, I licked my lips, opened my mouth and took the head of his cock into it. Dad moaned in approval, and closing my eyes, I swirled my tongue around his swollen head. My mouth filled with pre cum, and as I took him further between my lips, I felt it trickling down my throat. His cock was damn thick, and I had to open wide to take him as far as I could. 

Opening my eyes, I looked up at him. He was staring down at me, a slight smile on his face and his blue eyes bright as he watched me suck on him. Keeping my eyes on his, I began to bob my head is a slow steady rhythm. He sighed softly, and as his fingers continued to tease my left nipple, his hand pushed on the back of my head. He wasn't being forceful, more like guiding my mouth along his cock. 

I made sure to keep looking up at him. Closing my eyes would look bad, and I didn't dare look to the side. If I caught a glimpse in the mirror of me blowing my father, I might lose it. 

"Oh, damn," Dad moaned. "Wow, that's good."

He sounded as if he was already getting close, and I breathed a sigh of relief. When he was right there, I would pull him out and jack him off.

"Not so fast, baby. Tease a little. Don't worry, I'll be ready for you again."

I stopped bobbing my head and sliding him from my mouth, reluctantly made a show of running my tongue along the length of his shaft. I licked my way back to the tip, and after sliding down the other side of his cock, went all the way with it and started tonguing his balls.

"Hmm, another new trick," Dad groaned when I sucked his ball between my lips. "Fuck that feels good. You been watching porn again?"

I emitted what I hoped was a convincingly naughty giggle before placing my lips around his shaft and working my head up and down. Dad pushed on my head for me to be still, and I remained where I was as he started sliding his cock back and forth through my lips. He pulled back enough so when he next pushed forward, his cock entered my mouth. I opened wide and moaned for his benefit as he began working his cock in and out of my mouth. 

I stayed where I was, allowing him to use my mouth and felt an unnatural calm come over me. At this point nothing could make this any creepier. I was all but naked, letting my father fuck what he thought was his wife's mouth. If I could go this far, I could go further, and all I would ask of the powers that be was that this would all be for a good reason. Somehow spurred on by that thought, I placed my hands against his stomach.

Dad immediately stopped, and taking a deep breath, I went at him with all my skill as a lover. I took him as far into my mouth as I could and slipping my tongue out, licked his shaft while shaking my head slowly back and forth. As he moaned, I once again cupped his balls and caressed them. Sliding my mouth back so I had just the tip in my mouth, I sucked hard on it. Dad groaned loudly, and ignoring the thick trail of fluid sliding down my throat I began sucking him as hard and fast as I could.




That Damn Red Dress



"Oh, fuck Laura!" he moaned as I sucked his cock like it was a competition.

I was taking him deeper with each movement of my head. If I had to do this it was going to be quick. I grabbed his cock and followed my lips with my hand, jerking him off while I blew him. My hand was busy on his balls, and at this point I was sucking so hard, I could hear the sloppy, wet sounds my mouth was making as I slurped up the spit that was dripping down his cock. .

"Oh, goddamn!" he groaned, his fingers tightening in my hair. "Look at you go, you bad girl! You really want it don't you?"

"Hmm-mmm!" I moaned around him, my brown eyes widening for him.

"Well, you...you're going to...Oh, fuck!"

Dad cried out, and I felt his balls convulse in my hand. I started to pull my mouth from him, but his hand was holding me to his cock. I had a split second to wonder if he did that because mom always...then he exploded in my mouth. I released a loud squeal around him that I'm sure he thought was delight as a long thick stream of cum splashed the back of my mouth and trickled down my throat. 

I lost sight of what I was doing and stopped moving as he sent another warm jet across my tongue. Dad started thrusting into my mouth, and I sat there letting him. I tilted my head back allowing the cum to flow down my throat, but at this point I closed my eyes, not wanting to watch the expression on his face. It had to have been awhile because I was swallowing a load that would make a porn star jealous, but finally with a pathetic sounding whimper, Dad's cock twitched once more, releasing only a few drops. 

He eased his cock from my mouth, and making a show of swallowing, I opened my mouth and showed him my empty tongue.

"Wow," he gasped. "I don't ever remember you getting me off that fast."

"Have to mix things up right?" I gave him wink. "Wouldn't want you looking for a younger woman, now would I?"

I was losing my mind making a crack like that, but most would say I'd lost it the second I allowed his tongue in my mouth, never mind his cock.

"Well, one treat deserves another," Dad said, and I yelped in surprise when reaching down, he grabbed my ankles and lifted. 

I fell back onto the bed and lay there staring up at him. Resting my ankle on his shoulder he undid the strap from my right ankle and slid my heel off. He gave each of my toes a playful kiss then placing my bare foot on his chest, removed my other shoe. Dad sank to his knees and still holding my foot to his face, gently kissed across the top of it. His lips began to work up the side of my calf, and I took a deep breath as I knew where he was heading. 

He took his time, kissing his way up both of my long legs, working back and forth, inching his way towards my pussy. His hands were sliding up and down my legs, his fingers lightly trailing along my inner thighs. Again his touch was soft and gentle, and despite the way he'd been getting raunchy as I blew him, he was back to slowly teasing. I began taking deep breaths, forcing my body to relax. As I'd thought when I had him in my mouth, it was all inevitable from here, and I had to do what I had to.

That fact I could still taste him in my mouth told me I probably had gone through the toughest part of it. Still, as his fingers worked under the sides of my thong, I wished I could tell him he didn't have to reciprocate. I obediently lifted my hips and watched him ease my thong from between my legs. I could feel it peel from my still-moist pussy and couldn't help but notice the look of absolute desire in my father's eyes. 

"You do have such a pretty pussy." He emphasized that remark by sliding his finger though my lips. "Nice and smooth." He smiled. "And wet."

"Wet for you, baby," I moaned as his finger stroked my clit. "All for you."

Dad winked at me and leaning forward, spread my pussy open and blew lightly on my clit. My hips twitched, and I groaned when he gently kissed my swollen button. His tongue flicked across me, and a shiver went through me. As he eased his finger inside me and lightly played his tongue across my clit, I let out a long sigh and felt a wave of conflicted emotions. It was as wrong as anything could be, but his tongue was getting a response from my body. The soft moans I was emitting weren't all for his benefit.

I felt a twinge of self loathing that I might be enjoying this, but I squashed it with the thought that it was better that I did. I had plenty of time to hate myself later, but for now I would let my body take over my mind. Dad slid closer to the bed and pushing down slightly, I draped my long legs over his shoulders. I started moving my legs, sliding my soft feet along his strong back, and he moaned into my pussy. 

He removed his finger and sliding his tongue through the wet folds of my pink flesh, slipped his tongue inside me. I gasped, and then moaned as he began probing me with his rigid tongue. He swirled it inside me, and my hips moved of their own volition while he worked his tongue in and out. Dad sucked hard, and I could feel a gush of my sticky fluid flood from me and into his mouth. He sighed then worked his tongue back up through my lips. 

This time he pushed two fingers inside, and I once again groaned at their size. That slight discomfort was forgotten when he sucked my clit into his mouth. He held it between his lips, the tip of his tongue caressing it, and my hips started rocking. His fingers started sliding in and out and he began alternately sucking then licking my clit. I lay back and closing my eyes, I focused only on the growing sensation between my thighs.

Unlike my race-to-the-finish-line blow job, dad was in no hurry. I lost track of time as he licked, sucked and teased my clit. Somewhere in my mind I remembered a girl at school, who had a thing for older men, telling me they were much better in bed than guys our age. One thing for sure, Josh had never gone this slowly. I pushed him quickly from my mind. I'd have enough guilt over this for other reasons than to dwell on whether or not sex with my father constituted cheating. 

I gasped and felt my thighs beginning to tremble. I lifted my hips. I had thought that if it came down to this, then I would let him go for a few minutes and fake one, but my body was approaching the point of no return, and I wasn't going to fight it. Dad sensed my body tightening and started sucking my clit harder. I released a long loud moan and cupping my breasts, began playing with my nipples. 

"Oh, that's hot," Dad moaned between my legs. "I love watching you play with those pretty tits, Laura."

"I...love watching you watch," I whispered.

I could hear my voice trembling, and at this point it was certainly not all from nerves. Dad's fingers started moving faster, and with a whimper, I arched my back, lifting my ass off the bed, and started thrusting into his fingers and tongue. Dad stopped sucking and began licking my clit hard and fast. My legs were shaking, and putting my feet on his shoulders, I pushed against him, lifting my ass even higher. 

Dad went back to sucking my clit, this time hard enough to hear him sucking, and squeezing my nipples, I threw my head and cried out as I came for my father. 

"Oh, oh, Jim!" I squealed, my hips bucking as the orgasm crashed through me. "Oh, please don't stop!"

Caught up in the throes of my orgasm, I clamped my thighs around his head and writhed on the bed, grinding his face into my quivering flesh. His fingers were thrusting into my wet pussy, and his tongue continued to prolong my pleasure. I released a long, loud squeal and as my pussy convulsed around his fingers one last time, gasped, "Oh, damn!"

I let my legs fall from his shoulders and when he sat back, he wiped his glistening cheek and smiled, "You must have liked it; you're never that loud."

The thought that I was learning a lot about my mom tonight drifted through my dazed mind. Dad stood up, and my eyes fixed on his semi-hard, dripping cock. He looked down at me and pointed towards the pillows. I knew what he wanted, and making sure to move before I thought about it, turned myself around on the bed so I was lying with my head on the pillows. 

Dad paused to kick his jeans off and walking to the foot of the bed, got onto it and crawled up between my legs. I stared at his hardening cock, and that knowing this was what the night really hinged on, put my arms out to him. "Come, here, baby."

Dad was now over me, his hands on either side of my shoulders and looking down at me, he said, "Laura you look so beautiful in the candlelight." His voice choked, "I love you so much."

The way he said it and the look in his eyes caused my own throat to tighten. He loved mom so much! So much that his life was hell because he thought she died angry at him. Forcing the words from my constricted throat I whispered, "And I love you, Jim. Now come show me how much you love me."

Dad lowered himself to me, and I felt him slide between my lips. He moved his hips, pushing his cock through my wet pussy. He got a strange look in his eyes, and when he pressed his cock against me, it slipped down instead of entering me. He frowned and reaching down between us, tried to push his cock inside me. I moaned at the feeling of his head starting to enter me, but he didn't go any further.

"Come on, Jim." I told him, "Don't tease me."

"I...Jeez." He sighed, "I...don't think I can."

Holy shit I was off the hook! Then he added, "I...I really want to, but...I guess I'm too tired."

Guess came out guesh and it dawned on me the booze combined with the fact he'd gotten off was catching up with him. At this point I could just hold him and tell him what he wanted here once more then let him fall..."

"I...just want to be with you." He blinked, and his eyes seemed to lose focus.

"One more time," he whispered. "Just one more time."

My elation waned. He was starting to fade, and in his mind, he was still somehow short of what he needed. But hadn't I done enough? Dad was still leaning over me, and looking over, I saw mom's picture on the bureau. Instead of sending a wave of guilt through me, I could hear her in my mind. "Do what you have to and..."

"Do it with love." I said aloud.

"What, did you..."

Dad trailed off when I gave his shoulder a hard push, causing him to sit up.

"Roll over, baby." I told him, "You just lie back and let your wife take care of everything."

Dad blinked, but sitting up I gave him another shove, and he rolled over onto his back. I swung my leg over his so I was straddling his legs, and with no hesitation, took his flaccid cock in my mouth. I sucked him deep and began bobbing my head slowly, letting him feel my warm lips and soft tongue caress him. Dad moaned, and I felt a sick thrill as he began to swell in my mouth.

I took my time, gently sucking, coaxing his cock to readiness. 

"Laura, you don't have to, you...oh."

He moaned as his cock grew to full size, and my tongue swirled around his sensitive head. Sliding him from my mouth, I started stroking him to make sure he stayed hard. I slid forward and straddled his hips. I guided him to my pussy and started rocking my hips, sliding his swollen cock through my lips, and getting him wet for me. I placed his head against me and with a quick glance in the direction of my mother's picture, whispered, "With love," and let my weight go.

Dad moaned loudly, and I cried out as his long, thick cock drove into me. I stayed where I was, my hands braced on Dad's chest, and my body impaled on his cock. Damn, he was thick! I groaned and started moving my hips slightly, just enough to start getting used to him. I felt my pussy spreading around him. I started moving my hips up and down as well, easing him in and out of me.

Dad put his hands on my hips, guiding my movements. I looked down into his face, and I saw he was smiling softly at me. 

"So beautiful," he told me. "So amazing."

I leaned over and pressing my lips to his, slid my arms around him. Dad put his arms around my waist, hugging me closely to him and began to move slowly within me. I nestled my head into his neck and moaned in his ear each time he entered me. I was getting used to him, and he was moving slowly. His hand ran up my back and through my hair and moaned "Laura, honey, I love you."

"I love you too," I said in his ear as he continued to slowly pump me. 

My nipples were pressing into his chest and his arms felt good around me. I let my body go, not resisting what was happening and letting him enjoy mom the way he wanted to. He was breathing heavily and moaning my mother's name over and over, telling me how good I felt. He sounded as if his breathing was getting too heavy, so I pushed and sat straight up on him. I began sliding my hips, working him back and forth.

He was staring up at me with a look of total adoration, and now as caught up as he was, I brought my arms over my head, taking my long hair up with them. I began moving slower and more sensually.

"Look at you," he moaned in appreciation. "I'm a lucky man."

"I'm a very lucky woman." I smiled down at him, "Happy Anniversary, Jim."

Dad smiled, and grabbing my shoulders twisted his, and pulled me off him. I squealed in surprise as he easily tossed me onto my back. Dad quickly rolled over so he was between my legs, and lowering his face to mine, gave me a long, lingering kiss. I moaned against his lips when he entered me and began to move in a slow rhythm. I returned his kiss, and wrapping my long legs around his waist, put my arms behind his neck and drew him deeper into me. 

"You feel good, baby." I told him, and to my chagrin, I wasn't kidding; he did feel good. 

Now adjusted to his size, his slow movements were a pleasant tease, spreading me open, then withdrawing only to do it again. I trailed my nails across his back and purred in his ear each time he sank deep into my warm flesh. Dad was moaning softly in my ear, and his lips were working up and down my neck. I let my head fall back, offering him more of my soft skin. I moaned when he rose up and ducking his head, began sucking my nipple. 

I gasped at the sensation of his long cock sliding against my clit at that angle, and I began moving my hips in time with his. Our eyes met, and I saw that his were full of emotion. He truly thought I was mom, and there was nothing in his eyes but pure love. That look made me forget about how wrong this was and see it for what it was, a chance for him to say goodbye to the woman he loved. I could feel how much he loved her in how tightly he was holding me, in the way his lips barely brushed my skin, and most of all in the way he was slowly making love to me. 

I released a soft yelp when he started moving a little faster, and then I groaned at the increased movement against my clit. I tightened my legs around him and moved my hips faster. My thighs were trembling against his sides, and to my amazement, I could feel my body preparing for another orgasm. I felt Dad tense up in my arms. I could feel the muscles in his back tighten, and he was moaning with each thrust. 

Even as he closed in, he didn't go any faster, instead he slowed down, and I moaned, enjoying the sensation of him sinking into me again and again. Dad smiled. "I love you, Laura," he moaned as he said it, and as my back arched, pushing him deeper inside me, I replied, "I love you too, Jim. Happy Valentine's Day, baby!"

My voice cracked as I finished, and I squealed loud and long in his ear as his cock slid along my clit and sent me over the edge. Dad moaned, "Oh, Laura," and I felt him twitch inside me. 

"Ohh!" I moaned when he erupted inside me, flooding me with his hot cum. 

Dad continued using those long slow thrusts, and I sighed when each one ended in another warm, wet squirt deep inside me. Dad was whimpering in my ear as he continued to give me all that he had. He moaned softly then gasped when I contracted my pussy around him, wringing a few more drops from him. 

"Oh, I love when you do that," he sighed.

"Well, hey, I got one right," I thought dryly as I lay beneath him caressing his back with my fingernails. Dad sighed deeply in my ear, and kissing his neck, I said, "I love you, Jim."

"Love you too, Laura."

Dad lay there on top of me, and I continued to rub his back as he breathed deeply in my ear. I could feel him softening inside me, and when I felt his body completely relax, I whispered, "Roll over, baby. It's time to go to sleep."

Dad eased off me and lay on his side. His eyes were all but closed, but he was smiling, and he put his arms out. I rolled over so my back was against his chest and he wrapped his arms around my waist. When he placed his hand on my stomach, I put mine over his.

"Good night, Jim." I began, "Happy..."

"It's not really you is it, Laura?"

My eyes widened, and I felt a sick feeling come over me. "I...of course it's me, Jim. I..."

"No," he said in my ear. "I...I know what this is. It's...it's a dream, you came to say goodbye to me."

Closing my eyes and hoping I would say the right thing, I replied, "It's our anniversary and I came to spend it with you, Jim. To tell you I love you and that I was never angry at you."

"I love you too," he sighed, "You won't be here in the morning, will you?"

"No, Jim I won't." I answered, feeling my eyes filling up. "But I'll always be watching and, I will always love you."

I felt his tears on my neck and he said softly, "Thank you for doing what you had to and for still loving me."

I was beyond speaking and simply gave his hand a squeeze. He kissed my neck softly, and a few moments later, his arm relaxed around me, and he was breathing deeply in my ear. I let the tears come, but this time they were for mom as well. I'd been so worried about dad I'd forgotten how much I missed her. I hoped she knew I had done this for her as much as dad and myself and that she would understand. My eyes found the picture of her. When I saw her smile, I felt a wave of peace come over me and smiled back. 

I closed my eyes, and then opened them when I felt myself starting to drift. Moving slowly, I eased dad's arm up and slid away from him. He didn't wake up. I stood up and gathered up my panties. Moving quietly, I put mom's shoes back in the closet. Going back to the bed, I picked up the red dress, and as I hung it back up, I ran my hand along the soft material. "I guess you came in handy after all," I whispered. "But you're still going to Good Will."

One year later.

"Happy Valentine's Day! Open your eyes."

I opened them to see Josh holding a red box in his hand.

"Déjà vu!" I laughed, taking it and lifting the lid.

"Not quite." He said a nervous smile on his face.

I looked into the box and gasped at the sight of a diamond with rubies inlaid on either side. "Oh my god!" 

Slipping off the couch and onto one knee Josh removed the ring from the box and took my hand, "Nicole, will you?"

"I...oh my God. Yes!" I cried out, watching him slide the ring onto my finger. "I can't believe it!"

"Hey, I told you I'd make an honest woman out of you some day." He sat back on the couch and putting his arm around me gave me a quick kiss. "I figure after graduation we can maybe set up a date and..."

"Hey!" I exclaimed, "My dad is due home in a few minutes can we wait to go out until he comes?"

"Why?" he grinned, "He already knows."

"He does?"

"I told you last year that I would ask him before I did this."

"I thought you were full of shit," I laughed.

"Thanks. That's no way to talk to your fiancé."

"Fiancé," I clapped my hands. "I love it!"

"Yeah, well just don't lose the ring, like you did the earring."

"I've said I was sorry a hundred times!" Lifting the pendent from my neck, I said, "I made the other one into this!"

"I know, but I still think you threw them across the room when you were mad last year and could only find one."