8 comments/  50795 views/  10 favorites

Sam's Journal

By: flatliner



Friday January 1.

This is my new year's resolution: I will lose my virginity. I read on the interwebs that the average age that males in the US lose their virginity is 16.4 years old. I'm almost three years late!! 

I went running this morning in the Greenbelt. It was cold and clear and the ground was frozen hard. Felt good to hit the wall again today. I'm following a very rigorous schedule for the Shamrock Marathon this Spring. April 25th. Five days running and two days of rest with more miles run each week over 16 weeks. And I've still got to shave a minute off my time to get in the top 100 for the men's VHSL three-mile cross-country stats. I will do it. I will. Mike is still beating me, the bastard. He can't match my stamina in the marathon, though.

Trying to think of an anniversary gift for Mom and Dad. Janie suggested a subscription to Family Lifestyle Magazine but I think that's too cheap. Besides they could write articles for that -- there's nothing they can learn about the Lifestyle from a magazine. It should really be something big since it's their 20th and we three will finally all be eighteen. It kind of means their parenting job is done. Ha, ha. Their actual anniversary is March 28th so there's plenty of time. 

Friday January 8:

Not off to a good start with this journal. Running five days a week before school except it rained hard on Tuesday. Tried lifting some of Mike's weights. Harder than I thought. I should have run anyway.

I should mention that I made my application to Tech for next year. It's the only school I applied to. Won't find out till sometime between March 1st and May 1st. I can't not think about it.

Also, Janie's eighteenth birthday is coming up March 20th. So we are going to have a busy Spring.

Sunday January 10.

Mike is a pain in the ass. Typical twin -- he knows how to push my buttons. Gave me a head start at weekend track practice at school today and still lapped me. We look so alike, but don't act alike. Extroverts like him just don't understand an introvert like me. He rolls right over any obstacle. He's not a virgin. I seem to stumble too often. Then there's my goddam stuttering.

Tuesday January 12.

I've thought about it a lot. I don't mind being a virgin. I mean, Mom and Dad have made it easy to lose my virginity but I don't think I'm ready. They keep inviting me into the bedroom. I'm ambivalent (had to spell check that). Even Janie seems about ready for her eighteenth and making that transition. "Making that transition" What a stupid way to put it. I don't know how to talk about sex. I should know -- maybe it's just my shyness. 

Ran a quarter marathon today with Mike even though it's supposed to be a resting day on my schedule. He flagged toward the end. That stupid goatee is an affectation. Thinks he's so grown up. So why is he planning only to go to community college, then, huh?

Friday January 15.

I don't know why I'm writing this. Except I don't have anyone to talk to. NOBODY at school has a family like mine. Nude at home all the time, practically. "Clothing Optional" Mom calls it. We're a sex-positive family according to Dad. He claims to have coined that phrase. But I Googled it and I think he picked it up at that commune where he and Mom met. Anyhow, we're different and I don't think anyone would understand. 

No point in trying to talk to Dad. I know what he'd say, anyway, "It's nobody's fucking business." He likes to pontificate. Not a good listener. Especially to contrary opinions.

So I'm writing this to myself, I guess. Not sure I'd want anyone to read it anyway. 

I'm 34 seconds from breaking the top 100 high school runners in the state at three miles. I think I picked running because it's one of few sports where you don't wear much. I can train in shorts and shoes. Add a tanktop for competitions and that's it. Besides I don't like to swim. It feels claustrophobic to me.

Also found a cool book in the library -- Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

Monday January 18.

Snowed last night. Tried running on the street this morning but it was slow going. Reading Zen, etc. So good I forgot to masturbate. I want to get a motorcycle.

Tuesday January 19.

I'm really quiet at school because of the stuttering. Most teachers understand that it's not that I'm stupid, just silent. A lot of kids don't, though. I remember when we moved up to high school and some 11th grader thought it was cool to call me Simple Sam. I jumped up to punch his lights out yelling, "Mmmother fuh-fuh-fuh!" That kid laughed and Mike and I both beat the crap out of him. We called him Mother fuh-fuh-fuh until he graduated. He never lived it down. That's something you count on a brother for, but I wish I didn't need it. Although it's getting better with the speech therapist's help. I wish I could talk right, right now. Wish I was normal. Mike wears that fucking goatee so no one will think he's the simple one, I know it.

Friday January 22.

Ran in the melting snow. I run to get high, to burn out the fire inside. I love it when it's cold and the air sears my lungs. I want to come home exhausted. When I don't run I get nervous, jumpy. The only subject that can keep me focused is Architecture. Comics and Sci-Fi novels don't much interest me anymore, though my old favorites fill my shelves.

I get my interest in Architecture from my Dad. He's a college dropout but he's been really successful in his building business. He's a true craftsman. He's teaching me and Mike carpentry, too. And he built this house slowly over a bunch of years. It has a lot of creative elements that I didn't really appreciate until I started reading about Corbusier and Wright and those guys.

It's basically three blocks joined by an entry and large screened area. One block has the kitchen and living room with a workshop under it. Another block has the bedrooms and a big, shared bath with a garage underneath. The third block, which is only one story, has the playroom. It's not completely finished yet. There are private courtyards for parking and little gardens. Mom's into growing her own organic herbs. And sunbathing nude.

The unusual thing about the bedrooms is that they are in what is basically one big space that can be divided up by rolling partitions around as we see fit. It's all very much in line with our parent's philosophy. We create our own spaces, our own "boundaries". I made myself a little cell in one corner with my bunk bed over my desk and a lot of shelves. I hung a curtain over the place where a door would go and kept it away from any windows. It is my sanctum -- a good place for an introvert.

After our eighteenth Mike decided to open his area up to connect with our parent's bed space. Janie still has a space to herself with a couple of nice windows. It's pretty typical for a girl—posters and stuffed animals all over.

The bathroom is what they call a Jack and Jill bath. At its center is a shower (open to the bedroom area) and sinks, but there are two toilets on each side in little rooms of their own. It makes sense to keep the clean and dirty functions separate like they did in the old days. These two are the only rooms in the house with doors other than the playroom.

I'm reading a strange book from Dad's collection on building design called A Pattern Language. I see where he got some of his ideas.

Monday January 26.

I'm shaving about seven seconds a week off my time in the three-mile. I need to vary my route. I'll be up to 8 miles this week on the training schedule for the marathon. The Shamrock is getting closer. So far, so good.

I had a strange dream last night. Another wet dream, actually. I read somewhere you should tell a dream in the present tense, so here it is: I'm running in the Greenbelt in the early morning like I usually do. I recognize the part of the trail I am on. There's the stream with litter in it, the backyards, old swing sets. I can hear the traffic and other city noises. Dogs barking. I'm breathing well and just loping along. Gradually I notice that the woods look different—the trees are taller and it's become very quiet. To the sides the forest goes on 'til all I can see is gray tree trunks rising up hillsides on both sides. I'm running in a kind of tunnel of trees. It's like a cathedral. There's a gray ground mist and the light is slanting very low from the left in a pale golden color. I'm barefoot and the path is hard-packed red clay but at each side is a bright green mossy swath with some small wildflowers blooming vibrant yellow. I'd like to run on the moss but am afraid I'll hurt it.

In the distance ahead I see a brightness. There's a clearing. As I run into the clearing the path now passes through knee-high grass. I see a pavilion of some sort. It has a yellow cloth roof that is gently rippling in the breeze. As I get closer I see that it is raised up on a stone platform and held up by rows of naked people. There's something about it that feels worshipful, like it's a temple. It looks kind of like a party tent but there are no walls, just the figures arranged along each side like poles. They are about an arm's length apart and hold the metal rail of the edge of the roof up in their hands. When I look at their faces their heads are turned away. (I read in one of Dad's Architectural history books that carved figures holding up the roof of a temple on the Acropolis in Athens are called Caryatids. They are all women and they are robed. The part of the building they are on is called the Erechtheion...The erection?)

The golden light slants through the mist and makes the pavilion glow like from within. The figures are youthful and strong, both the men and women are beautiful in the classic sense. Better than an Abercrombie and Fitch ad. I slow up and climb the stairs to the platform. Now I'm naked, too. All around me the figures are facing outward, their arms upraised holding the roof. I notice that some are touching hands and are very occasionally shifting their weight from one foot to the other. None speak. I still can't see any faces.

I'm moving very slowly, drawn toward the nearest woman. Her behind is so round and firm looking. I reach out and cup each cheek in a hand. She doesn't move. Her blonde hair is thick and wavy and hangs down to the middle of her back. I run my hands slowly up her sides, feeling her ribs, just brushing the swell of her full breasts. She has no reaction when I slide my hands along her arms, then reach around to touch her face. I feel her lashes flutter under my fingers, her breath on my palms, the moistness of her lips. As I cup her breasts I pull myself against her. My erection lies in the crease of her spine, tickled by the fall of her hair. I feel a desire to "be one with her." (That phrase actually ran through my head in the dream.)

I move from one figure to the next and get the same result when I touch them; I'm excited—they just stand there. The next, a male, comes to full erection as I reach around and take him in my hand. My boner is between his ass cheeks and slides as if oiled when I begin to stroke him. I think, "Wow, this is just like jacking myself." Then, both of us panting with excitement, his deltoids spread like wings, he comes, shooting his sperm in an arc out into the waving, golden grass. He wilts but I am still hard.

Beside him is a short woman, already on tiptoes, reaching up to the roof rail. She's the kind of woman who's got a nice triangular keyhole of light showing between her thighs where they meet her behind. Those silky thighs glisten. She's wet. I ease down, slide my oiled cock in there and reach around to palm her small breasts. Lifting her up off of the ground so she is straddling my prick I reach down and touch myself where I am poking out in front of her. My fat, spongy, purple cockhead drips.

Smearing my juice on her erect right nipple, I thrum my fingers across her breast, letting the nipple spring between them. Bbbbrrrp, Bbbbrrrp, Bbbbrrrp. The bright sun picks out the soft, blonde hairs on her arms. She has goosebumps.

I wrap one arm around her body, crushing her breasts, and the other around her waist. She begins to squirm, sliding the pulpy, oozing lips of her pussy along me and breathing deep. Her head falls back on my shoulder, her hair covering her face. I begin thrusting and she squeezes her legs tight, crossing her ankles. I press forward, she pushes back, arms still tight to the railing, hanging in my bear hug and moaning as we slide together. She looks like the crucified Jesus.

Just a few plunges between her quivering thighs and I, too, finally explode in thick, white jets of semen, spraying my seed out into the grass. On rigid legs I thrust and squeeze, thrust and squeeze as she shudders helpless in my grasp. I bite her neck like a lion does a lioness, sinking my teeth into her yielding flesh, tasting salt and iron.

At last I'm spent and I ease her back down to her feet. She hangs limp, head lolling on her chest. The breeze chills my sweaty chest as I back away from her.

I move to the far side of the pavilion and see a gap in the row of naked people. I step into it and grasp the roof edge in my hands, taking my share of the weight. But I realize that we are not carrying the weight of the roof, we are holding it down so it won't fly away. I have a feeling of anticipation and of resolve. I'm gazing out over an endless vista of wind-whipped, tawny grass. I imagine how the tent could carry us all up into the blue sky like a kite. Looking to my side I finally can see a face. The beautiful woman beside me is smiling at me. She says, "Welcome home."

I woke up curled into a shuddering orgasm, not even touching myself.

I had to clean my sheets that morning before running. My time was off, too. Funny that in the dream I'm (technically at least) still a virgin.

Wednesday January 27.

People I think are hot: Halle Berry, Rachel McAdams, Jamie Bell, Megan Fox, Michelle Pfeiffer, Daniel Radcliffe. 

I've decided that if I'm going to take Mom and Dad up on their offer to educate me about sex I have to start thinking of Mom as a sexual creature. Naked or not, she's just been Mom to me for so long. She's been a comfort and a cheerleader and a scold and a teacher, but not someone I've wanted to have sex with. Even though I know my Dad and Mom think they should be the ones to teach us about lovemaking (you know, because you should love someone before you have sex), I've just kept that in the back of my mind. Somehow the idea became an assumption like the idea that we were all expected to go to college. I didn't really think about the details. Now the time has come and I realize I need to work on it. Like I had to write an essay for the college application. I'm nervous, but I think I can do this.

Saturday January 30.

I've decided to indulge myself with a genuine Senior Slump. I've had good grades and my SATs are decent. Fuck it, let school slide at long last while I train for the Shamrock. And get my virginity taken care of.

Mike knows a lot about how I feel. His grades were always only average and he never worried so much about them. Somehow Dad seems more sympathetic to his mediocre schoolwork. Maybe because he dropped out. Anyway, Mike gets where I'm coming from this semester and I think he enjoys my being a little more relaxed about school. Even though we compete athletically, he pretty much understands my moods. He hasn't hassled me about losing my virginity and I'm thankful for that. My guess is that he doesn't mind only sharing Mom with Dad for now.

Friday February 5.

Thinking about what to study in school. I really like Architecture but when I look at my family I wonder if Psychology or Philosophy wouldn't be more interesting. Something starting with a "P". Physics? No, not smart enough for that. I could probably bullshit my way through Psychology, though.

Monday February 8.

Earlier tonight I sat down with the family to watch Family Fortune (less Janie—she's not allowed to watch 'til she's 18). We stream the game show from its website directly through our HD TV. I've been watching with them for a few months and it doesn't really get me as fired up as it does the rest of them, especially Mike. Still, watching group sex on the big screen is better than on my laptop in my room. Mom really likes this one family that's been a big success on the program and she gets all excited watching them compete.

Tonight the contestants, the Collins', who are an American Dad and a Korean Mom and daughter, were defending their title against some black family and Dad was taking notes. Mom was sitting between Dad and Mike on the couch in the playroom and I was on the loveseat since I still don't have the courage to jump right in. But I thought it would help to practice thinking of Mom as a sexual being and to pay more attention to how they enjoyed the show.

So I asked Mom what the setup was for the game tonight.

"Oh, the Collins got a good one when they spun the wheel in the first round," she said, pointing to the screen. "See how the women are arranged in a 69, with Sun on the bottom and June on top? Paul can turn the platform they are on and stick himself in a pussy, mouth or ass on each end. They have a real athletic, gymnastic flair, don't you think?"

"I g-g-guess ssso." She wants me to consider sex to be kind of like sports. As recreation. She thinks it will help me loosen up. Mom was sitting there between the two of them with a hard dick in each hand. Now, they wouldn't have sex right there in front of me without asking, but a little foreplay wasn't out of the question. I was getting an erection myself. That was real progress.

"What's special about this round is that the audience can make bets on which hole he comes in. He can't see the board where they've posted the votes. It looks like June's mouth is the top choice with her pussy a close second. They'll get extra points if Paul comes in either one of those. Of course the more orgasms the more points, but there is that time limit." She was breathing hard and pulling on the cocks in her hands. Mike's hand was on his own dick, too, and his attention was totally on the TV. Dad was still taking notes. I guess he was interested in the platform they were using, making a working drawing. He's always looking for good ideas for improvements to make around the house.

I watched the action on the screen with one eye and my family with the other. The TV showed the Mom and daughter eating each other's pussies in split screen. The one on the bottom, the Mom, I think, had her legs pulled way back and wrapped behind her daughter's arms so her pussy was wide open to the licking (and the camera). I admit it took some strength and flexibility to keep that up. The Dad moved up from the other end and rubbed his cock along the daughter's slit, getting it wet. From below the older woman ran her tongue along his shaft and took his cockhead in her mouth, gently suckling it. She let it spring up, he slowly leaned in and we watched his cock spread the girl's pussy lips. In close up his cock looked almost too big for the little girl.

The time clock was counting down from five minutes and no one had had an orgasm yet.

Mom, on the couch, was beginning to squirm. Talking to the TV, "Come on, Paul, you can do it," she panted. "Which one do you think he'll come in, guys?"

"The Mom's ass, for sure. I would," volunteered Mike.

"No, he can't take the time to even go there," offered Dad. "Best to concentrate on the vaginal orgasms, then he can let go before the clock runs out. I'm betting on the Mother's mouth. I think that she can get him off in the last seconds if needed. She's a closer."

Mom looked at me bright-eyed and flushed. "Sammy?"

Mike and Dad's answers were clearly colored by their own preferences. I guessed mine would, too. And Mom was testing me.


Sam's Journal



"Oh, the MmMom's va-va-va-g-g-ina, I g-g-guess," I said, avoiding her eyes.

"Well, the winner gets a prize from me!" she said saucily, "Except you, Sam, unless you've changed your mind...?" Man she could put on the pressure. But no, I was still not quite there. Though she did give me permission to fantasize. And I was thinking of her and Janie on a spinning platform some future day with my cock poised to pierce them. I was beginning to see what they saw in this show. In fact, it was getting painful to sit there with a boner and watch them all, those on TV and my family. I was shaking and there was a loud buzzing in my head. I had to leave the room.

"Wwwell, I've g-g-got hhhomework t-to d-d-do..." I said as I left, hard-on waving in front of me.

"Bye, sweety, sorry to see you go," said Mom, playfully.

"Yeah, hit the books, brother. Do that 'homework'," Mike sniggered.

Dad was silent, but did give a little wave before clapping his hand on Mom's breast. I'm guessing they were ready for some private time. I walked quickly to my cubby space and fell right on my bed to get myself off.

I imagined how we could duplicate that spectacle after we were all old enough.

Yeah, it was easy to picture Mom on her back, toned legs stretched back and wrapped around Janie's slim shoulders. I imagined her pussy hair plastered down by saliva as Janie ran her tongue around the swollen lips. Mom's clit sticking up from its hood in arousal, wet and pink in the folds. I took my cock and eased it down toward the hot, moist target and let Janie grab it in her mouth for one good suck before I pressed the fat, purple head into Mom. Janie kept on with slurping at Mom's clit. They both were moaning and Mom ground her hips as I very slowly sank deep into her.

In fact it was almost too exciting. I hardly needed to rub myself at all—the throbbing of my cock was bringing pulses of thin fluid into my hand. In my fantasy I needed to pull my dick out of Mom and hurry around to the other end where Janie's cunt was waiting, wet and ready. I caught Mom's eye where she lay between Janie's spread legs and she smiled a shiny-lipped smile. The lust I read there was unmistakable and just made me hotter.

"Let me suck you first, Sammie," she begged and I pushed my dick down for her. She opened her mouth and I pressed in. Her imagined tongue, sliding across the corona of my cockhead, nearly made me cum right there. 

Lying in my bed I had to hold very still to prolong it. My hand was slippery with pre-cum. Only Moments from shooting...

I imagined just one dip into Mom's tight throat that made her squirm, then I pulled out and speared up into Janie's cunt. It was tighter, hotter and I was too close for subtlety. I thrust up once, twice, grabbed her hips and stood on tiptoe as I burst inside her. I felt Mom's hot tongue stabbing at Janie's clit as they both went rigid in orgasm, licking each other frantically. I bucked, taut, buried deep and exploded again and again, then, spent, I pulled my softening cock from Janie's cunt and my load followed, drooling fat and thick over Mom's face. She opened her mouth and worked her tongue into Janie's hole to get it all.

On the bed I arched up and shot a cascade of spunk up my chest, even getting one shot on my face I was so excited. Sticky streamers plastered me. I was going to need a towel. After a good, delirious minute I slowly relaxed and slid down onto the bed again, panting, dizzy, sweaty and with a stronger determination to lose my virginity than ever. It sure was a big step in the right direction to fantasize about fucking Mom.

Then Janie banged on the other side of my bookcase.

"Was it good for you, Sammie?" she laughed. Oh, God, I guess I made some noise. 

"Uhhh," was all I could say, still out of breath, shriveled dick cradled in my hand.

"Hey, I've got a good idea. What if we can get Mom and Dad tickets to Family Fortune? You know how much they love that show. I was looking at their website and I think there's still time to get tickets for the show taping on the week of their anniversary. What do you think?"

"B-b-brilliant!" I said. She's a smart girl. That's what we're going to do!

Wednesday February 10.

Mike and Janie and I made sure we could get tickets to Family Fortune and then talked with Mom and Dad before we booked them a flight to Toronto. They were so thrilled at the thoughtfulness and the (slightly early) surprise. It made us feel like very good little boys and girls. We used the account Dad set up for us and got them booked for a four-day vacation in the last week of March.

Thursday February 18.

I know they want me to watch them make love soon. I'm afraid it will freak me out. Extroverts like them are stimulated by crowds, apparently -- the more the merrier. It tires me to be around people and I'm worried about that. I guess I'm too sensitive to their emotional states. I'm too empathetic. 

The only analogy I can think of to describe how I feel around other people is that I feel their emotions as music in my head. Like anger can be heavy metal and lovemaking can be Dvorak, for instance. Sometimes it's just loud noises.

Friday February 19.

I'm afraid of sex with another human being. I mean, what if the intensity makes me run out of the room (again), or throw up, or something? I feel the waves of orgasmic energy push through the house whenever someone is making love in it. Ever since we were kids I knew when Mom and Dad were nearby making love. (Not allowed to call it something else—that would be to crude, too disrespectful of the sacredness of the act. Or so Mom says.) Screwing! Fucking! Hiding the Salami! Knocking Boots! Slap and Tickle! Shagging... So there, Mom.

It makes me skittish. I can't concentrate. I have to go out running or play music really loud in my headphones to sort of drown out my own internal noise. Last Saturday (forgot to write this down) when they were all three in there fucking (again) I had to go run in the Greenbelt at night. But the symphonic intensity in my head was so great, the wavelength so piercing that I had to stop and jerk off under a tree. Not much good as a training run. But I was imagining Mom getting it from both ends...

Anyway, I've decided to watch. They kept the invitation open after I told them I wasn't ready at our eighteenth birthday party to lose my virginity like Mike did. They were very kind about it, though I think they both were disappointed. We're like a little social experiment that they are so invested in.

The idea is to let sexual expression around the house be transparent, not a secret. We've all been wandering around the house naked since I can remember (I went to boxers a couple of years into puberty—I'm a little more comfortable without my junk flopping around). The naked body doesn't particularly excite me. I guess that was the plan. I mean, I can appreciate a good body when I see one and I see them all the time at home. So, counter-intuitively, I am not turned on. Lately, though, I'm wondering if I'm not just sublimating (Googled that, too). There's a power deep down in me that sometimes wants to get out.

Mom's good looking for 35. Short curly auburn hair, round happy face, heavy breasts on a short, firm frame. She keeps fit teaching Yoga. I've been noticing, now, that her ass is especially tight and high for someone her age. The cesarean scar on her tummy is hardly visible. She calls it her birthday smile. I feel bad they had to cut her open to get me and Mike out. We were big then and we are now, too. We've topped Dad by a couple of inches and he's six feet four.

Dad's been a carpenter forever so he's lean and muscled. Tanned, too. Leathery and outdoorsy. Mike's goatee is in imitation of Dad's short trimmed Abraham Lincoln beard. I think Dad is trying to look Amish or some shit. He wears overalls at work, too.

Mike and I are really well muscled, if I say so myself. I run so I'm skinny up top and I've got stamina. Mike's a wrestler, so he's more buff and stronger than me. Much stronger than me. That's why he runs short and I run long.

Janie, now, is a special case. She's even shorter than Mom—really the runt. Blonde (even her pubes) for some reason, where we are dark haired. And she's really skinny, all bones and sharp angles. But she's very perky—an extrovert like the rest of them. Smart, too. She reads like me. She's got some freckles and her boobs are hardly more than her big fat puffy nipples. I wonder if she'll suddenly grow tits when she turns eighteen next month?

Saturday February 20.

Week seven of training. I ran 12 miles this morning. Gosh, this training makes me hungry.

At lunchtime Mom and I were in the kitchen talking about my college ambitions while she made some food. I was sitting across the island on a barstool eating a third sandwich while she padded around getting stuff from the fridge and washing veggies in the sink. I was noticing how her breasts have been only a little affected by gravity. They are full and heavy and the nipples still point upward. The areolas are large and dark red—the fat nipples knobby. She bent over to get something from the bottom of the fridge and her breasts swayed in a way that made my dick start to fill. It surprised me. I guess I'm beginning to break that barrier. It helps that she looks better than women fifteen years younger than her.

Her ass was turned a bit to me and I saw the auburn hair fringing her sex. I really looked at her like I hadn't noticed her before and I got a genuine boner. When she cocked her hip as she thought about what to fix for later I felt myself begin to sweat. My pulse increased and I imagined taking her by the hips and banging her right there. Imagined her heavy breasts swaying back and forth under her as we fucked. It just came over me, this desire for her. Cool.

Mom took some cornhusks and turned toward me, laying them on the counter between us. She began shucking the ears, exposing the cornsilk. It looked like the hair that peeked between her thighs. She peeled slowly with the corn held firmly in one hand, tearing away the hard green skin to reveal the soft, sweet yellow kernels. I thought about her lips on the buttered corn later, the salty slipperiness, the mess it made eating corn on the cob. She took the stripped ears and broke them in half, her breasts, squeezed between her arms, jiggling with each snap. I had forgotten my sandwich as I watched. The sound in my head was like a firetruck approaching.

"Is that for me, Sammie?" she asked, smiling at the proud boner sticking up from my lap.

"Uhhh, g-g-geez, MmMom, I...." I was really sweating now.

She came around the island and stopped briefly. Sitting, I was as short as her. Looking inquiringly into my eyes, she just reached for my cock and wrapped her hand around it. I don't think she'd touched me there since I was in diapers.

"I've been waiting for you," she whispered. 

I couldn't speak.

"I remember when you were just born you were no longer than my forearm. I could hold you and Mike on each side and nurse you both at the same time. Now your erection is nearly as long and thick as my arm is...," she seemed awestruck.

"This is a fine tool you have, son," she said, looking me straight in the eye and squeezing. A drop of clear liquid oozed from me and ran down over her little fingers. I felt embarrassed. I trembled.

I admit I am a coward. I slipped off the stool and backed away in fear of coming right in her hand. Imagine me, nearly a foot and a half taller than her, cowering at her advance. I had a four-alarm fire ringing in my head just then. I stammered something I don't remember and fled the room. The last look I saw on her face was one of disappointment. And kindness, too, like when I lose a race. She really wants to help me grow. And what she said about the size of my erection was a generous exaggeration. She's always seen the best in me.

I made some progress, though. I ran to the bathroom where I jerked off thinking about her pulling on my cock as I kissed her buttery, salty lips. I thought of her kneeling and licking my dick as she stroked. I know she knew I was masturbating, too. I half wished she'd followed me into the bathroom and got down on her knees to suck me, to stroke me off over her big tits. Instead I shot my spunk straight into the toilet where my little swimmers all went spiraling down in a race to oblivion. Seems like a waste.

Monday February 22.

Ever since last week Mom and I have been looking at each other differently. Nothing has been said but I think we both know something has changed. Something is happening.

Friday February 26.

Ninth week of training and I'll do 16 miles tomorrow morning. I'm glad the sun is getting up earlier every day like I am. It's good that I'm not trying for good grades this last semester -- I'm too tired. I guess the teachers expect that senior slump, too.

But I'm dreaming of what I will "be" as a grownup. What my college career is supposed to lead to. Though it's hard to say where I'll end up when I'm not sure where I'm starting from. I read that we are at our best when we are running toward something rather than running from something. Completing a marathon is one thing, but life doesn't seem to have a finish line. At least not one I can see.

Reminds me that I do have one goal—fuck my Mom. I realized that part of my problem was that I wanted to go from total virgin to mother-fucker in one big leap. But I should be breaking this down into achievable parts like my marathon training. OK, so I've started seeing Mom as a sexual creature. Now I need to actually "see" her being a sexual creature. I know they would let me watch them screwing if I asked. 

I'm getting tired of trying to find new ways of masturbating. This last couple of weeks I've hit on a good method. I've got two memory foam pillows and I found that if I stack them and lie on them I can stick my erection between them and get off pretty good. But what really makes it work well is to put a pair of silk undersocks on my dick. They work great in the winter inside my regular socks and they are really slippery.

Last night I put myself to sleep up in my bunk by thinking of Mom's round ass under me. I felt her warm flesh pressed up against my belly as I lay on top of her and slowly eased in and out. The pillows conformed to my hard cock got warm like I imagine her insides, the silk slipping like her juices. Or at least as close as I can fake it. 

Anyway, I thought of her face-down in my bed chewing the sheets as I thrust. Mom's panting and whimpers rose in volume as her pleasure increased and I wrapped my arms around her to squeeze her breasts pressed into the bed under us. I arched over her, pinioned, burying my face in her hair and grinding my hips. She was pinned beneath me and trying to push back but all she could do was spread her legs and take it. Her helplessness made her crazy with lust. My power made me drive like a jackhammer, carrying us both to orgasm. I shot, collapsed and fell asleep.

The beauty of this method is that I can rinse the cum out of the socks in the morning in the shower and no one is the wiser. If only actually fucking would be this easy.

Thursday March 4.

Mom and Dad and Mike let it be known they were going to "do it" last night after we watched 'Lost' on the Tivo in the playroom. I usually argue with Janie about what the plot twists and mysteries mean since she's not even allowed to watch 'lovemaking' yet. But tonight I told them I was going to finally stay in with them and see what they did together. They seemed so pleased. Janie went to her room to work on her webpage. She blogs. About Korean boy bands of all things. She gave me a thumbs up, though. Like I said, she's getting ready to try 'doing it'.

I don't want to be the last kid. So I took a deep breath and stared at the floor. As best I can remember this is what happened:

After Mom shooed Janie out she went to the bathroom. The playroom has several couches, a loveseat (where I was sitting), a little refrigerator and a full bath. 

I had decided to watch but I didn't want to be too close. It was a bit awkward for me but they all seemed OK with it. While Mom used the bathroom I stood, drifted inconspicuously into a corner and shuffled my feet. I kept my boxers on.

"Sam, you look nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs," chuckled Dad.

"Easy, Dad, he's working up to it. Give him time," Mike offered in my defense. I couldn't speak—I just shrugged. 

Dad poured some water over ice and some Coke for Mike and me. It was good to have something in my hands. Mike, the horndog, already had his dick in his hand and he was getting hard when Mom came out of the bathroom.

They were all standing around like at some cocktail party drinking and making small talk. Weird. I mean, it was like any other conversation we might have about sports and homework except I was about to see my family fuck each other. I tried to imagine it was an episode of Family Fortune I was watching to put some distance between us. I sat again on the loveseat, nursing my drink.

Mike put down his Coke and leaned toward Mom, taking one large breast in the palm of his hand, hefting it, smiling into her eyes, glancing at me as if to say, "See what I can do!"

Dad's cock began to rise up from the cloud of dark hair at his crotch. He clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "So, let's get this show on the road, then, boys and girls!" Holy Crap. I can't believe he said that. 

My breath was already coming in short gasps. It must have been the nearness. I could feel the intensity of the passion rising steeply in the room. I guess my sensitivity to their libidos' broadcast was like with radio waves -- it increases exponentially with proximity. I'd never been in the same room as full-blown sex and maybe my sympatico with Mike just amped it all up. Anyway, I was trembling already, my own dick was swelling and they'd only just touched. It sounded like an orchestra warming up in my head, all jangly and discordant.

Dad stepped around behind Mom and took her other breast in his hand. She leaned back against him and wiggled her behind. He leaned down and bit her shoulder. Reminded me of my dream. Mike got her nipple in his teeth and licked it. Mom took in a sharp breath and looked at me fondly. Weakly, I smiled back. With her legs parted I could see in the fuzz at her crotch a faint outline of her engorging pussy lips. 

I felt their embraces like a slow, deep symphony beginning. The base line was making my body resonate and the note of each nipple kiss or shoulder bite caused me to quiver in response. I pulled my knees up on the loveseat and tried not to hyperventilate.

Mom just kept her eyes on me while Dad and Mike's hands roamed across her. She got Mike's hard cock in her hand and slowly stroked it. She seemed to be saying, "This could be you." My dick felt her stare. It pulsed. It itched for her touch, now. The purple head nosed its way under the waistband of my boxers. I was long and hard enough to be poking at my own bellybutton. But I was dizzy from the intensity of being in the same room. I was frozen.

Dad said, stepping around Mom, "Sammie, this is how you make love to a woman." STFU, I was thinking. He cupped her chin in his hand and drew her face up for a deep kiss. Mom raked her nails down his chest, across his belly and took his cock in her grip. I heard her sharp intake of breath. She had a hard cock in each hand and two strong men about to pleasure her, but she kept her eyes on me. Like it was me she was making love to. 

"Now we'll show you some methods of foreplay." Dad said. Jesus Christ. I really couldn't listen, anyway.

"P-p-please d-d-don't g-g-give me a llllecture. Just fuh-fuh-fucking d-d-do it, ermm, yeah, j-j-just mmmake lllove," I choked out, heart racing. The last ice in my glass rattled. I put it down and wrapped my arms around myself.




Sam's Journal



"He's right, Tom, just DO IT!," breathed Mom. I don't know if she was making a joke or not. It didn't matter.

With that she turned and pushed Mike back on the couch and sank to lie beside him with her mouth poised above his tool. Mike just smiled at me. Smartass. She lifted her leg and Dad got down on his knees and buried his bearded face in her crotch.

His red pole swung below his crinkled, tight balls. My eyes were drawn by the way Mike's cock split Mom's lips as she took him in her mouth. He came out shiny, drool running down. They both watched me watching them. This went on for what seemed a long time as the noise in my head grew to a crescendo, like a couple of orchestras playing different Wagner operas at the same time.

I had to close my eyes to slits. I'd slipped down to where I was lying on my side in the fetal position as they kept on sucking each other. Dad's face was wet from where he was eating Mom's pussy. Her distended lips glistened and hung open. He finally rose up and grabbed his cock, pointing it at her ready opening. 

She looked back at him briefly then reached down and guided him in. Dad slid in slowly as she pulled her legs apart, hooking one over his shoulder, the other foot still dragging on the floor. Dad was weathered, all tanned and gnarly from his years of working outdoors—a long stick of driftwood. His joints were knobby and rough, his sinews stretched taut, muscles flexing under his thin skin. Quite a contrast to Mom who was soft and supple, whose breasts swung loose and whose arms curved gracefully as she reached to caress her men. As Dad sawed into her, as she lay there spread wide, I had the compulsion to crawl over and put my mouth on her clit, to lick along her split-open cunt where Dad's gristly pole was churning up a white froth.

I couldn't move. Nothing on the Internet had prepared me for this. Something about being in the same space, not separated by a video screen, to be with three-dimensional, musk oozing, real people ramped up the pitch of sexual feeling ten times. 

Mom popped Mike's wet cock out of her mouth and began moaning. Her chest turned a deep brick red and she heaved as Dad thrust. She hissed through her teeth and rolled her head, hands grasping at Dad's chest. Her one leg slipped from his shoulder and she hooked it around his ass and pulled, jamming him tight into her. 

Mike slid off the couch and stood over her face, stroking. She looked up at him yearningly.

"Mikey knows what I like," she gasped. 

Dad suddenly grunted and slammed his prick deep, holding his ass clenched as he came. Mom made whimpering noises, looking straight at me. What was she thinking? She had two studs to service her and she wanted me in there, too? The noise in my head was ear splitting but there was no way to stop it. 

Then, darkness.

I must have passed out. The next thing I remember is Mom kneeling over me as I lay on the couch and running a warm, wet washcloth over my chest. I was confused, my head fuzzy. I was hearing voices from far away.

"Poor baby, you came all over yourself," she said, looking lovingly into my eyes. She must have done a quick cleanup of herself but she still had a drop of cum in her left eyebrow.

"That's OK, Mom, I can do that," I said as I tried to sit up. "I think I'll go to my room now."

"Oh, Honey, you just do that. But we should talk about this, you know." She is ever the earnest parent.

I stumbled up, adjusted my shorts and passed Dad and Mike who were each popping open a beer. I didn't feel like celebrating. I learned tonight that just watching them fuck nearly killed me. I'm not sure this is going to work after all.

Friday March 5.

Shit, now my stuttering is worse. I'd learned to hiss my esses and hum my emms, but now I've lost control of the even the soft consonants again. Goddam. They're going to call me Simple Sam again, I know.

Saturday March 6.

I know Mom wants to talk about what happened on Tuesday. We've avoided the subject so far but I can tell it's driving her crazy. I feel half crazy myself. I wonder if I just need to get out of here. Also, I know it's too much to hope for but I have not received any word from Tech. I'm counting the days.

Most teenagers want to break away from their families, don't they? I'm thinking my rebellion will consist of the opposite of sex, drugs and rock and roll--maybe celibacy, vegetarianism and church. Still, I do want to lose my virginity and I've got that resolution to stick to. But I don't know how to get around this barrier of mine. What to call it? Sex Block? Sex Aversion? No, that's not quite right. I want to, it's just that I have this oversensitive empathic reaction. 

Dad doesn't seem perturbed about it. He doesn't talk much about this stuff directly except when giving a lecture. And Janie is oblivious. She may not know I freaked out, but then she's got her own coming-of-age on her mind, I guess. I wonder if I could talk to her. Mike understands and isn't pushing it. Or maybe he knows that his extrovert's perspective won't help me any.

Mom's been looking at me very sympathetically. A little hungrily, too. I'm sure she's disappointed. Me, too! I don't know what to do. 

Sunday March 7.

Last night I humped my pillows again, thinking of Mom, imagining that I gave her great bliss, as usual. After, as I lay there sweaty, Janie knocked on the wall.

"Sammy, can I talk to you?" she sounded tentative. Obviously my nocturnal emission sessions weren't so secret. But she didn't tease me. "Sammy, I know you must be frustrated. I understand. I'm in the same boat."

"What d-do you mean?" I asked, hoping she wasn't going to come into my room. I realized she wasn't as oblivious as I thought. She'd climbed up on her dresser and was whispering through the crack at the top of the partition.

"I know Mom and Dad want to be good parents and show us the right way to be superior lovers, but I'm not sure and, you know, my birthday..."

"You d-don't have to d-do it on your b-birthday, Janie."

"Yeah, but I see how painful it is for you since you waited. Isn't it hard? No pun intended," she giggled, nervous.

"Yes it is, b-but I'm g-getting there." I explained my plan to realize my new year's resolution, my change of perspective on Mom as a sexual creature and especially the brick wall I'd hit with what, I had to admit, was fear.

"I think my problem is different," Janie went on. "I've educated myself about the mechanics of making love and I surely do feel love for our parents but I don't really have much of an appetite for it. Is that weird?"

"Well, I've g-got the appetite b-but there's something g-getting in the way of the feeling part for me." I admitted as I'd just realized it. 

"Do you think about me that way, Sammy?" She said very quietly.

I thought for a Moment. "Uhh, well, I imagine we c-can have a, have a, uh physical relationship when you're ready, if you want t-to, I mean." 

"I meant do you love me?"

"You mean like a sister? I would b-beat up anyone who t-tried to hurt you."

"That's not exactly what I'm talking about. Can you love your sister and make love to her, too?" She sounded plaintive. 

"Not b-before you're eighteen, of c-course, but after that I can imagine it." I really couldn't imagine doing it right then. Hmmm.

"Is it weird for you to imagine doing it with Dad and Mom like Mike does?"

I suddenly realized that I imagined my first time would be with the three of them just like I'd watched the other night. But it didn't have to be that way, did it? 

"Whoa, Janie, you just g-gave me an idea." I maybe could do it if it was just me and Mom in a private place, alone. If I could be myself... I realized that Dad was always in the back of my mind watching me, even outside the house, that his voice rang in my head when I felt guilty or even when I felt triumphant. It was Dad that was the problem. "I've changed my plan a little. I think I can do this!"

"What did I say?"

I told her that I realized that I had to do it on my own terms. It wasn't a submission or an obligation, but a rite of passage that required me to take charge. That's why Mom was so patient! She wanted me to take the lead and my clanging inner Dad-voice was yelling so loud I couldn't even understand what it was saying. That's why I could imagine doing it "to" my Mom under me in my masturbation fantasies and why I quailed at the thought of doing it in the Moment. That day Mom touched me in the kitchen she was trying to encourage me but I reacted like she was going to do it "to" me. I didn't tell Janie about the kitchen part, though.

She was quiet for a minute then said, "I understand, Sammy. I got a lot to think about out of this. And I love you, too. Good night."

She hopped down off the dresser and I rolled over in the dark and wrapped my newfound confidence in my arms, thinking of how to proceed. And truly I did love Janie as a sister. She'd helped me a lot. In fact, I noticed, my stutter was nearly gone while we talked.

Tuesday March 9.

Only seven weeks to the Shamrock on April 25—over halfway through the training. Winter is passing. Some mornings there is the faintest hint of Spring in the air. Waiting for the letter from Tech is something that I sometimes ache with and sometimes I can live with. Going to college is going to be like running off a cliff...

Last night after dinner, Janie, who'd been a little pensive during the meal, cleared her throat and squared her shoulders, pushing out her nubby little nipples, and made her announcement. We were getting ready to clear away the dishes after listening to Dad go on about one of his solutions to the problems of the world (reform of the educational system, I think) and Mom was giving me another lingering look, which, I have to say I've been returning with much more confidence since my talk with Janie, when sister looked around the table and said:

"I've decided that what I want for my birthday this month is to become a woman."

Mom, yipped and clapped her hands and Dad got a quiet, smug, smoldering look in his eyes.

"I've been thinking about it for a good long time," she continued, "and you guys have made it very clear that you think you ought to be the ones to usher each of your kids into adulthood. I understand what you've been trying to teach us all these years. I'm not sure this isn't going to be just kind of icky. Still, I want to make this decision myself and I understand the responsibility I'm taking on. Like you say, it's as important as getting a driver's license or voting; a civic responsibility as well as a personal one. But there is one condition."

Now Mom was quiet, too. 

"The condition is that I say where I do it and with whom and how. OK, three conditions. I did some on-line research and I think I know how it should happen. So, as a gift to me, I'd like to be "deflowered", for lack of a better word, after my party on the 20th, by Dad (looking him in the eye for the first time during her announcement and giving him a firm, but loving look) and with Mom there, too."

"Oh, sweety," said Mom, leaning over to stroke her shoulder, "Thank you, thank you." Tears ran down her cheeks.

"Mike, sorry but I'm leaving you out for now and Sam—no watching this one." Janie looked very lovingly at the two of us, though, which helped. Mike did look disappointed, but he was a grownup, he could take a little deferment of gratification. I knew my little sister was smart but I was impressed with how strong she was.

And I was surprised to hear that little sister had apparently come to the same conclusion I had about taking charge. Without, I guess, the angst I'd been going through all this time. We shared a little knowing smile over the dinner table as Mike stood and went over to give Janie a little hug from behind.

Mom jumped up and, heavy boobs jiggling, bounced on her toes with a huge smile on her face. For Dad's part he stood too, but the joy was expressed in his thick, red boner. He looked proud and what? -- validated, I suppose. We were each slowly proving his sex-positive theory. I think he might have been as happy about that as the prospect of making love to his daughter. He was a man of principle, after all, an idealist and iconoclast for whom action and ideology were part and parcel of the same thing.

As I watched him I realized that I would never be that passionate about ideas. Unless the idea was something simple like the Golden Rule. Maybe that's what it all boiled down to anyway; do unto others as, etc. even in bed, even in the family bed.

When I stood Mom came around and wrapped me in her arms and kept bouncing happily on her toes, pressing her breasts into my stomach. With her rubbing my cock rose, too, and poked at the underside of her boobs. She smiled and eased down just enough to let me slide up between her breasts where her tears had made them slick. 

This time I didn't shy away or run to my room. I locked my gaze onto hers and imagined my own deflowering, imagined taking her alone in a candlelit room, pressing my hot flesh to hers in a hundred exciting ways.

Mom saw this change in my eyes. We said nothing, but I think she understood that I'd changed. Still, part of me was glad my loss of virginity was some way in the future—my resolve was not quite 100%. I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her gently away.

"Go hug Janie. It's her time, now." Mom inferred, as I intended, that my time was coming, too, at last, and she smiled especially brightly as she turned away to take Janie into her arms.

Tuesday March 16.

A resting day on the training calendar so I didn't have to get up so early. I was in my bed last night reading my archive of Elfquest when I heard the buzz of Mike trimming his goatee. It went on a long time. 

He called me, "Brother, I need some help here!" When I went in his room he was sitting on the edge of his bed with his legs spread over a towel and his dick in his hand. What's new, right? But he was shaving his pubes. "I can't reach the hair on my balls, little brother. Will you finish this off?" 

"Why are you shaving your p-pubic hair?" I asked, bemused. "You wanna look like a p-porn star?"

"I'm doing it for Janie's party Saturday. Are you gonna help or what?"

"You're not going to be part of the b-big present, anyway, OK? B-but if you ask me it looks stupid."

"Didn't ask," and he handed me the trimmer. He pulled his cock back over the short trim he'd given himself on the topside. He'd cut it the same length as his goatee, but he'd shaved his chest hair off completely. I tried to reach under to get at the hair on his dangling balls. It wasn't as simple as it sounds. I bent over and turned the razor this way and that but couldn't quite get at it.

"Lay b-back," I instructed him and as he did I pulled his dick up along his belly with my left hand. I knelt and started delicately gliding the buzzing shaver along the side of his scrotum with his legs spread wide. He hardened right away.

"Oh, Gawd, brother!" he gasped.

"You O K-kay?"

"Keep on, keep on..." he was looking at the ceiling as I leaned in to see what I was doing. His balls drew up tight into a big wrinkly walnut, making it a little easier to run the razor over them. The slotted plastic tip on the blades allowed me to press the razor firmly without nipping the skin. As I felt the vibrations of the trimmer transmitted through his stiff rod I began to harden, myself thinking about how it must feel. Obviously it felt pretty terrific to Mike. He was beginning to rock his hips forward involuntarily like he was fucking or something, like a dog humping a leg. I had a tight grip on his hard cock. The foreskin slid in my hand. Fine blue veins marbled his shaft.

I thought about what a marvelous structure the erect cock is. His red, fat pole reminded me of the columns on a Greek temple—thicker at the base, tapering then flaring to a wide crown. If they could hold up temples with statues of women why couldn't they make a row of cocks? Maybe that's what they'd done. Then I thought about the way the space between the columns is a void, like a slit, a vagina. Maybe you could do a kind of Rorschach test with the Greek Temple form. Look at the façade and what do you see, poles or holes? Or both, like I do.

I moved down below his balls along the hard ridge of flesh toward his dark, puckered asshole. I haven't looked that close at an ass before, even mine. Surprisingly hairy. 

Suddenly Mike grabbed my left hand in his and began stroking himself. Or making me stroke him. Before I could quite understand he yelled, "Jesus, Gawd, Brother!" and came all over his belly. He folded up like a jackknife, doing crunches, face contorted, as he bucked on the bed and I lost my grip on the razor. It fell buzzing to the floor and I felt the hot pulses of jism shoot up his dick and spray onto his shaved, sculpted chest. My hand got slippery. It was a lot like jerking myself off, actually, only different. Kinda like the way your reflection in the mirror is you but not you at the same time. 

By the time he was done jerking I was up over top of him with my right hand on the bed and his wet, sagging dick in my left. My boxers were poking down at him. There was a gob of his cum in his stupid goatee. Our eyes met and he smiled wickedly, panting.

Mike reached in my shorts and grabbed my stiff cock before I could react and had it out in his hand.

"I owe you one, brother, " he grinned. I couldn't get back up with my dick in his grip. His hand was slick with jizz, though, and he began stroking with a really tight fist. With my arms spread on each side of him, legs between his, I began trembling. The smell of cum filled the narrow space between us. It was my turn to buck my hips and quickly I was close. My dick-eye winked in and out of my foreskin as he stroked. The inside of my head rang like a bell.

"This is what it's like to fuck a woman, brother. Go ahead, fuck my hand. Fuck it hard." The bastard had me going. He got me in both his hands, one under the other. I closed my eyes, pictured Mom below me like I'd so recently seen her pressed under Dad and I came in a hot rush of surprise and longing. I wanted to fuck her right now and I was pissed at Mike. I took control and I thrust and shot clotted white streams across Mike's body as he huffed under me, pulling the jizz out of me like he was working a pump handle. The noise in my head suddenly stopped and was replaced with a silence so profound it was like standing on a mountaintop in clear, frigid air. I had a clarity, finally.

Before I could begin to soften he wrapped both arms around me and pulled me down into a fierce hug. Our slimy, hard cocks sparred between us as they slipped in our pooled semen. He rolled me on my side and held me in his arms. I realized I had braced for the wave of unbearable noise that I expected to come with the pleasure, the shattering of the mirror, but instead I felt myself rising into a void of unexpected serenity. Silence. I stopped fighting the noise, took charge... and the killer wave ran right through me. Resistance, it turned out, was futile.

"This is just a taste of what you're missing, Sam. Mom and Dad really want to show you the ropes. It would make them very happy." He looked sincerely in my eyes. I felt myself move more deeply into love with my family just then, all of them. I felt safe. I was safe. I think I found the final part to the puzzle. I guess I am still technically a virgin, but I'm one big step closer to accomplishing my new year's resolution.

"Maybe, Mike, maybe soon," I wheezed as I rolled away from his hot, slick, hard body, so like my own. I felt then that I could almost step through that mirror and be like him. Not afraid to make love to a woman, to make love to Mom.

Wednesday March 17.

After my revelation with Mike I had to talk about it with Janie. It was my turn to knock on the partition late at night and whisper. I told her how I'd found the emotional circuit that I'd been missing, how I overcame the fear by getting angry and really wanting it. I told her how impressed I'd been by her strength the week before at dinner and that I was now sure she would be OK since she'd so clearly taken charge of the event coming this Saturday.




Sam's Journal



She promised she'd tell me all about it afterward.

I was getting excited myself now for my coming of age, my belated coming of age. I knew I could set the time, place and circumstances and that Mom and Dad actually wanted it that way. It was part of their plan!

I thought about all this while running this morning. I'm up to 36 miles for the week and feeling very strong. It's getting to be a comfortable routine. I'm eating like a horse and my new confidence is giving the training runs a revived sense of purpose. As the day of the Marathon gets closer I feel less lost, less aimless. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I guess it's all going to come to a head in April.

I've also come to some peace with my introverted, solitary nature. I realize that if the real me is more comfortable alone than in groups, then that's fine. I don't need to be like my family. I don't need to be like my Dad. But I do need to make love to my Mom. It's a clear goal and I'll do it my way.

Friday March 19.

I'll be running tomorrow while Janie is introduced to lovemaking since I can't watch and I'd rather not stay in the house. She is braver than me, the little snot. After my final insight I know I will be able to stand it when my time comes. It certainly won't kill me. But I can't take the spotlight away from Janie on her birthday. I guess I will be the last kid to lose his cherry. I'm OK with that. Now that it's my choice, I'm OK with that.

Still haven't heard from Tech. Not sure if that is good or bad. Hell, if I don't get in I'll just go work construction. I've got skills.

Saturday March 20.

The day was filled with preparations and festiveness. We baked a big cake for Janie and threw a fine party at TGIF where Dad rented a party room. Of course, we were dressed, like regular people. Janie invited her best friend Margaret and a bunch of her friends from school and they giggled and gabbed like girls do. I mostly watched and compared those young airheaded kids with Mom. They came off badly. Frankly only one or two could be said to be any more attractive than her and none were as substantial.

I mean, they were silly and seemed more interested in clothes and gossip than anything else. At home we talk about important things. I am reminded of why Mom is so appealing. She's got a body and a brain. And she loves me for exactly who I am. 

We have a sense of each other's physical location in space now that I'm focused on coupling with her. We keep an eye on each other as we move about the room. I feel that connection as something tangible. I feel her watching me and I'm mildly aroused.  

Funny, but now when I see Mom with clothes on I mentally strip her and I get excited like I never did when we were naked at home all those years. Now she's sexier dressed than naked and I want to undress her. Slowly. And with delicacy, revealing what I already know is there like seeing it for the first time. 

She knows my motor is running. She was wearing a tan safari shirtdress at the party—crisp cotton with a belt and big pockets over her boobs. Sort of a Mom-in-uniform look that accentuated her hips without being slutty. The way it ended at her knees just made me think about the fuzzy, dark warm place between her legs that I've only now begun to appreciate.

I suppose they were both thinking about what Janie planned for after the party but they seemed to be having a good time and when we exchanged presents Janie got a bunch of nice things that she expressed genuine delight to receive. She hugged and kissed each of her friends and thanked them profusely. They were clueless about tonight's special event.

Still, I think part of Janie's ebullience and good cheer came from anticipation.

I came back to a quiet house after my late run. I hope the deflowering went well.

Sunday March 21

True to her word Janie reported on how it went last night. She knocked on the partition early this morning and whispered over the wall. But I asked her to come on in my room where we could be less awkward. She came around and climbed up beside me and we snuggled under the warm covers our foreheads and knees together. Conspirators. We hadn't done that since she was about eight.

"So how'd it g-go?" I asked, her cold feet against my shins. 

"Oh, Sammy, it was amazing! Nothing like I thought it would be," she sighed as she reached for my hand. "Not gross at all, more like a dream or a hallucination."

"What d-do you mean?" 

"It was strange at first but Mom and Dad were so sweet and gentle and after a while something in me just, oh, I don't know how to describe it. Something shifted, or opened up or exploded or something. Something inside me took over."

Sounded like my problem. Only I was being stymied by that 'something'. "Tell me more." I reached out and touched her shoulder.

"Well, I got them both in the playroom and told them I wanted to go slow and easy and we lit some candles and I just stood there for a minute. They were so patient and they looked so happy and serious at the same time. Obviously, I was real nervous." Janie was fingering the hair on my chest absently while she talked.

"Mom said I should tell them what I wanted so I asked for them to just hug me at first. I mean just standing there. Mom took me in her arms and I paid special attention to her breasts up against mine and how warm they were. Our nipples tickled each other and got hard. I tried kissing her neck, then her cheek and I bit her earlobe and she started doing the same to me."

In our little cave in my bunk I was starting to get a boner. Janie's voice got rougher as she continued.

"It was exciting me and I was feeling faint. Then Dad came up behind Mom and wrapped his long arms around us both. I felt Mom breathe deep and tremble. It made me tremble, too. That's when that strange shift started in me."

I was seeing this tableau in my mind all too well. And the noises in my head were beginning. I felt the peach fuzz on Janie's arm under my fingertips.

"It was like my body knew what to do. I put my hand on Mom's breast and pinched her nipple. I felt my own nipples tingle. Then we kissed. It was wet and soft and made me quiver. Then she bent and put her slippery lips on my nipple and sucked a little. I had to sit down on the couch!"

My dick was rock hard now and I was glad we were facing each other so it didn't poke my sister. It seemed like she didn't know the effect her story was having on me.

"I asked them to let me catch my breath a second. Dad was standing there with his arms around Mom and he'd got a breast in each hand. She lay her head back and he kissed her sweetly. When they broke apart I saw his erection and I was a little scared. I was afraid I wouldn't know what to do with it. I mean, looking at things on the Internet can only tell you so much, right? And it looked so big right there in front of me."

"You saw his erection last week, though," I said. She'd seen us all erect at one time or other even though we were quick to turn away.

"Yes, but this time it was going to be mine to use and I didn't want to do it wrong. I said to Mom that I'd like to see how she got Dad ready for sex. So...she didn't say anything she just sank to her knees and started kissing it. That was so much more exciting than watching strangers on the web. I was amazed and I started to feel my insides get all hot and quivery."

While she told me this her hand was working its way down my body. And I got no objection as my hand trailed off her shoulder and down her back. The washboard of her ribcage fitted just right with my fingers. It was getting really warm under the covers. I could smell her arousal faintly, I thought.

"Mom was licking Dad's dick from the bottom to the top and he had his hands in her hair. He watched me. Mom watched me too, and smiled. Then she opened her mouth wide and took his cock head between her lips. The same soft, wet lips I was just kissing. My own lips itched to watch her. She got him all shiny. Mom's saliva was running down to his balls."

I touched the sharp bone of Janie's hip and she caught her breath. But she was into her story and didn't seem to be paying attention to me. Her own little hand was absently stroking my abs. I let the noises in my head go on and concentrated on the feel of her soft skin.

"After Mom sucked Dad for a few minutes she turned to me and said that they usually took turns. She came over to sit beside me on the couch but instead of having Dad go down on her she asked me what I wanted to do. I said I wanted another hug and she wrapped me in her arms again. It felt like she was on fire she was so hot. She was whispering in my ear about how happy she was and how special it was going to be and in a minute there was a film of sweat between us and I was panting."

I ran my hand along Janie's hip and down her thigh and she took a deep breath, then went on.

"We were kind of spooning with Mom behind me and her arms around me and she was rubbing my nipples oh-so-gently. Dad was just standing there watching. I saw his pulse making his wet cock bob up and down. Mom asked if I was getting gooey between my legs. I said I was. In fact you could smell it by then. I found my courage I said I wanted Dad to taste me. 

Mom rolled over with me in her arms so I was lying on my back on top of her on the couch. Suddenly I was spread open because my legs were draped over hers. When she spread her legs she also spread mine. I looked up at Dad and felt, oh, I felt everything--scared and excited and hungry and a little out of my body, all at the same time. 

When Dad's eyes slowly traced down my body I could feel each excruciating second. My breasts felt swollen and heavy and the nipples were pinched so tight it nearly hurt. As Mom spread me I felt my pussy lips part. Funny, the cool air on the wet folds was like a caress. I opened to Dad's gaze and suddenly wasn't afraid. I just wanted to be filled."

Her breathing was faster now and Janie was rubbing my calf with her foot. I could smell her pussy very strong now under the hot covers. I let my fingernail trail up the inside of her thigh. Still no objection from her. Suddenly, she pulled my head down to her chest and pressed a nipple to my lips.

"Please, Sammy. Ahhh..."

Then she just grabbed my pulsing cock and squeezed. But she kept on with the story.

"Dad slowly got on his knees and put his face between my legs. When his tongue touched my thigh I jumped. Then he began licking me all around there, teasing me, moving closer and then moving away. All the while Mom was ever-so-gently pulling on my nipples. I put my head back on her shoulder and spread open like a flower. I've never felt so loved, Sammy."

Janie punctuated this with another squeeze of my pecker. I groaned around her nipple where I had it in my teeth. I moved my hand up and felt the heat from her crotch, then the hair against my fingers, then the moist spongy flesh of her pussy lips. She spread her legs for me and I cupped her mound in my hand. My fingers got wet. I decided to get her off if I could.

"I never imagined it could feel so good, Sammy. Dad's tongue was driving me crazy as he darted it between my pussylips. I felt him run it along the outer part, then he moved closer and ran up and down the inner folds and finally he just barely parted me and tasted my insides. I was grinding my hips by then and whimpering. I twisted my head and kissed Mom. Finally, Dad touched his tongue to my clit and the world exploded. I'm sure I screamed.

I felt Mom's soft breasts and hard nipples against my back as I arched up into Dad's face. It went on and on and on."

My sister was rubbing her pussy against my hand as she said this and she started to pull on my thick cock with her slim, little hand. I was sucking her gumdrop nipple and gently moving my fingers against her pussy. I was trying to find her clit without being too clumsy. But she was right: my body seemed to know what to do. At least hers did. She was writhing under my touch. Janie was sucking in deep, ragged breaths and moving her fist fast on my dick. But her story wasn't done.

"I don't know how long my orgasm lasted but finally I relaxed and looked up at Dad. He rose up. His face was wet with my juice. His eyes were filled with tenderness and longing and a little bit of crazy. I reached for him and he scooted forward. I saw his big, red cock looking at me, dripping, pulsing. I got him in my hand and shoved him down against my pussy. He pushed slowly into me looking lovingly into my eyes and I had an orgasm a million times harder than the first. Oh, Sammy, I never knew, I never knew...."

And then Janie came under my fingers, clamping her legs tight against my soaked hand and twitching, humping against my palm as my finger slipped insider her. Her head craned back and a deep, trembling moan rose from her clenched jaws. Janie pulled hard on my cock and I came, too, shooting stream after thick stream against her belly and little tits in the dark under the covers. I turned and bit the sheets to keep from screaming out loud. I let the wave of head-noise run through me again unresisted. This is getting easier.

"My God, Sammy, I could do this every day...," she sighed. I could hardly think. I'd just had my finger in a vagina and been brought to orgasm by a woman for the first time. Still a virgin, technically. But more determined than ever to make it with Mom. 

Tenderly I pulled my hand away from Janie's pussy and she whimpered. In the dim light filtering through the sheet I saw her bring her hand from my cock to her lips and lick the cum dripping from her fingers. Tentatively I put my fingers to my mouth and tasted her juices. Then, boldness having been rewarded so far, I reached down, stroked my finger through her wet slit and brought a taste up to Janie's lips. She sucked my finger in and rolled her tongue around, savoring herself. 

"MMMmm," she breathed. Then she put her spunky fingers to my mouth and I opened for a taste of my cum. We looked into each other's eyes and knew that this was just a start and a promise. There was love there, and peace.

I need to set a date to make love to Mom. Really badly. I want a piece of them all.

Saturday March 27.

I can't believe it. Janie, who was so sure sex might just be 'icky' has been in Mom and Dad's bed every night this week, sometimes with Mike, sometimes not. I can hear it, feel it and smell it. They are all ridiculously happy, walking around the house like they're stoned when they are not making love. It's a wonder either Janie or Mike can stay awake at school.

I'm only more determined to join the club now. Geez, everyone seems so delirious with lust. Janie keeps telling me how much more fantastic it is than she thought it would be. Man, the pressure is getting fierce. 

"I guess I'm my mother's daughter, after all!" she said last night as she wagged her skinny little tush at me. 

Now they are both giving me the hungry eye. It's just as well they all spend so much time in the bedroom together. I don't feel left out, exactly. My excuses for dithering are nearly used up, though. I am determined to do it with Mom my first time and I don't want to be tempted by Janie. Our episode in my bed has got me wanting her now, too. Especially since she's morphed suddenly into a slinky seductress.

Finding the courage to set a date will be the thing that will allow me to get past the point of no return. The journey of a thousand smiles begins with a single fuck.

Sunday March 28.

We sent the folks off to Family Fortune this morning. They were so excited. It was really funny to see Mom try to decide what to pack to wear since its still cold in Toronto but she knew she'd be naked a lot of the time anyway. Dad told us all how proud he is of us for giving them such a special gift. He's measuring us by our altruism and selflessness. We were spared the full lecture when we dropped them at the airport. 

As I hugged Mom goodbye I whispered in her ear, "I'm ready to s-stop being a v-virgin. I want to do it when you get back." I couldn't look her in the eye as I said it, but when we broke our embrace the look of delight and pride on her face was enough of an answer. Then she hugged me ferociously one more time and actually pressed her hips into me, hard. Not a chaste motherly hug—an invitation.

They went off practically running to the gate, so high on expectation that they could have flown there without the plane.

Now we have the house to ourselves. This only happens for the occasional weekend when Mom and Dad go to Florida to visit their fuck-buddies. The difference this time is now Janie's on fire and I'm looking forward to Mom's return and a Momentous April.  

She's not the little sister I'm used to, sequestered in her room and blogging. She's actually got a swing to her walk and a lubricated swivel in her hips that's got me looking at her in a whole new way. She has blossomed overnight into a slippery, sensual little tart. A flirt. A hungry, lust-filled woman who's found the appetite that lay dormant in her. It just took actual sex to flip her switch.

"Are you thinking of me, Sammy?" she whispered in my ear after we put the parents on the plane. "I'm thinking of you..."

"I'm saving myself for Mom, as you know," I answered firmly. She understands but her newfound hunger makes her tease me unmercifully. Now I notice her nakedness like never before and she makes sure I do. I think of her lying on the other side of the partition and imagine her tweaking her nipples, rubbing her pussy, juicing her up for a cock, my cock.

Right now as I write this she's over there moaning, breathing hard. Is this what she'd been listening to when I'd been masturbating these many months? I'm sitting here hard at my desk trying not to listen. 

Fuck it. I'm going to rub one out now. Let her listen to me one more time. We'll make a little solo night music from opposite sides of the wall. More later.

Monday March 29.

Less than a month to the Shamrock. I'm strong and my stamina just keeps getting better. No letter from Tech., dammit. 

Today I'm another step closer to losing my virginity. The next to last step, I think. There was a kind of test today—a challenge, and end, I hope, to my passivity. I think I passed the test.

I was supposed to be a resting day in my marathon training but I'm so stoked with thinking about finally getting there with Mom and all the sex in the air around here that I ran home from school while Mike and Janie drove home with my books and stuff. So I got home a little later than they did and needed a shower. 

As soon as I got in the door I started stripping. Left my shoes on the rack, as always. Stripped off my socks in the hallway, my t-shirt in the living room and was hopping out of my shorts as I entered the bedroom space. Stopped in my tracks when I got to the shower 'cause Janie was leaned over the sink with her little tits pressed down on the ceramic and Mike was kneeling behind her with his face in her butt crack. They didn't see me.

Janie's head was on her crossed arms and her hair fell over her face as Mike had her up on her tiptoes slowly rotating her ass as he licked her. His cock pointed up from his crotch and his big hands were splayed on her cheeks, pulling her open. The bumpy channel of her spine curved gracefully from the cleft of her ass to the wisps of blonde hair at her neck. It reminded me of a suspension bridge; elegant engineering. 

She was singing a little tune of joy as she sighed under his tongue. Mike grunted and made wet sounds as he worked at driving her higher. Clearly they'd learned a lot this past week.

Standing there frozen in surprise and sudden lust, I watched, my own cock tightening. 

"Don't you wish Sammy was here, Mike?" breathed Janie. He only grunted. "When is he going to get over it and get his cherry popped?" Janie groaned and arched her pussy into Mike's face.




Sam's Journal



I started to tiptoe away to my cubby but I couldn't look away and I tripped over the laundry hamper. I fell right on my ass. Janie looked up, shook back her hair and saw me sitting there with an embarrassed smile and a ready boner. She laughed and raised up on her arms, little tits quivering, and said, "Speak of the devil!"

Mike gave me a glance and a smirk and went back to eating her. She giggled.

"You better stay away, Sammy," she teased, "You'll break your vow of celibacy."

As I sat there battling my conflicting urges, caught between my lust and my fear I realized something. I was in control of what happened to me. And it didn't have to be all or nothing with Janie, either. Obviously I'd let events take their own course in my bed the other night without losing my virginity. Still, it was kind of an accident. As I returned Janie's wanton leer and watched Mike so happily eat her out I resolved to just fucking have a good goddamned orgasm on my own terms. Within my parameters, of course.

So I stood, boner waving and walked right over to them with a new determination. I said, "Janie, will you do anything I tell you to do?"

Only the briefest uncertainty flashed in her eyes, then with a smoldering grin she said, "Yes, Sammy, whatever you want." She looked right at my cock as she said it.

Mike pulled his mouth off her pussy and looked at me, stupid with lust.

Janie complained, "Don't stop, Mikey!"

"Yes, don't stop," I said. 'Will you do what I say, too, Mike?"

"Well, what's in it for me, brother?" He can be a jerk.

"Three-way sex is in it for you, dumbass." I thought that was obvious and enough.

He smiled. "I've been having three-way sex for a while, if you haven't noticed. Four-way even."

"So you won't do what I say?" I nearly lost my nerve just then.

"Not sure of the point in it, brother," he said. Meanwhile Janie was looking frustrated. 

But I had a card to play. I looked at the two of them, toned and fresh and steaming with horniness. "I need to be in control right now and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop being such a big brother. You're only four minutes older than me anyway."

He shrugged. 

I continued, "Listen, I get that we're better off having sex the first time with someone who loves us. That's supposed to be you guys. Us. I feel it. I'm feeling it more every day. Tell me you don't feel it, too."

"Alright," he said, "I admit it. I'm just giving you shit 'cause you take it so well. I love you little brother." He wiped the pussy juice from his goatee with the back of his arm.

I took a deep breath. "If you do what I say I promise I'll do something you'll really like and I bet you haven't done before. 'Cause I love you, too, both of you."

He looked at me skeptically, but with a wry grin. His affection was at the core of our brotherhood, his ragging me aside. "Alright, lead on, then." And he waved his hand imperially over our sister as if deigning to give me permission. He's such a horndog I knew he couldn't turn down sex. Plus it was another chance to compete with me.

Janie brightened and looked expectantly at me. I picked up my t-shirt and offered it to her. "Put this on."

She looked puzzled for a moment, then slipped it over her head. Janie threw her arms wide and did a little pivot to show it off. The t-shirt was way big for her and hung to her knees. The neck hole would have revealed a lot of cleavage if she had any. Her pointy little nipples stabbed out into the cotton, her tight little butt giving the back end an inviting curve. Otherwise the shirt draped like a slinky dress. And it smelled like my sweat and her pussy now.

"Janie," I said, "ever since you told me about your first time with Mom and Dad I've been thinking non-stop about how Dad licked you. I've wanted to try that for a long time."

She took a deep breath and stood taller, which made her nipples tent the shirt even more, and a smile spread slowly across her face. 

"OK, Sammy. Where?" She was certainly ready.

Mike said, "What about me?"

"You'll be OK." I raised a hand to silence him. "Since I'm saving myself for Mom there won't be any actual intercourse between you and me, Janie. But I need an education, if you are willing, both of you. Teach me something about oral sex." 

"Were you not watching me a moment ago?" said Mike.

"Yes, and I want Janie to tell me what feels good. So if you want to demonstrate I'm an eager student, Mike." I said.

"Well, OK, then. Like she said, where?" We were both standing there hard and tense with Janie between us in my shirt and all about to bolt in our excitement.

"There's one thing I want to start with." I said and pointed to the shower. "Let's get rinsed off. I'm pretty stinky."

Like I noticed the other day, a woman clothed is sexier than a woman naked. I was turned on by the way the t-shirt swung on Janie, revealing her curves and bumps as she moved. It snagged on her nipples and hipbones and there was the slightest mound where her pubic hair sprouted. She seemed to like it, too, as she spun around and made it billow. She started to remove it.

"NO!" I stopped her. "Get in the shower with it on." I started the water, got the temperature pretty hot and she slipped into the enclosure as Mike held the sliding glass door. I silently thanked Dad for planning ahead when he designed the shower. Now the need for the three showerheads and huge space became clear. There was room for us easily in there. He'd planned for room to play in the shower as well as bathe.

Steam was billowing around us as I closed the door behind me. I just watched for a moment as the warm water plastered my t-shirt to Janie's body. It darkened where it clung to her, outlining the soft swell of her little breasts, molding to her flat belly, sagging into the crack between her legs. She raised her hands to sweep the water through her hair and Mike reached to stroke a nipple. I reached for the other.

Janie leaned back against the tile and took a cock in each hand, gently stroking as we rolled her nipples in our fingers. I'd seen marble statues carved so beautifully that the folds of the drapery seemed to grow organically out of the human form beneath. This was better.

I took the hem of the shirt in my hand and slowly began to raise it. I dragged my fingers up her inner thighs as I did, then played for a moment with her soaked pussy hair. I felt the water streaming down and over the warm flesh of her sex, her lower lips distending as she grew in arousal. Janie looked back and forth between us as we tweaked her, grinning. Mike took her face in his hand and kissed her, deep and long. Her belly sucked in and out.

I pulled the shirt higher and bent to run my tongue around her bellybutton. Then I pulled it quickly over her head and left it plastered to her face like a membrane. She couldn't see. The cloth clung to her cheeks and chin. Her lips were outlined where she was drawing in air. She reached to remove it.

"NO!" I stopped her again. "Grab the rails. Spread your legs." Now I saw why Dad included safety bars in the shower. I'd thought they were for when they got old. It was for when we got horny. Her head wrapped in wet cotton, Janie reached an arm wide to each side and moved her feet apart, exposing her pussy. 

"Mike, here's where you can show me how to do it. Let me watch you suck her nipple." I said. He bent to take a little swollen nub between his lips. A quick kiss then he ran his tongue around the areola and sucked the nipple in again. Janie squealed.

"See, that's pretty much it," He said and got back to it. I bent to her other nipple and repeated his motions. Suck, lick, suck. The water sliding down her body made her taste clean. I diddled the nipple with my tongue while I gripped it gently between my lips. Then I tried to draw her whole breast into my mouth with a deep suck. She is small--it was easy. She began shaking.

With my other hand I rubbed her mons. "Go slow down there. Gently." She mumbled through my wet shirt. So I just stroked lightly around the trim little bush and slid my fingers along the sides of her puffed vagina in the water sluicing down. I lay one finger gently against the slippery lips and stroked front and back, feather-light, letting my palm press firmly against where I thought her clit was. 

"God, Sammy, you don't need any education," She panted. Apparently I was doing well enough. I slipped my finger just between her oily pussylips and continued slowly stroking. "That's good.....just right. Do you feel that button at the front?"

"Yeah." Her clit had gotten hard under my finger and I was drawing her juices out to lubricate it.

"Just keep doing what you're doing, gently, both of you," She groaned.

I put my lips on hers through the wet t-shirt and we kissed. The cloth frustrated my tongue but I could feel her wet softness and she pressed back hungrily. We played with her for long minutes until she shook all over and her knees buckled as our fingers and tongues brought her to orgasm. Mike grabbed her around the waist and held her up until she caught her breath.

"That was a good one," she said. 

"It's not over, so stay where you are if you can," I said as I turned off the water. "Mike, can I watch you eat her?" He knelt down at her feet and buried his face in her pubic hair. Janie sucked in a deep lungful of air. 

"Can you hold yourself up?" I asked. She just nodded. I sank to my knees beside Mike and watched. "What works for you, Janie? Tell Mike to do it."

"Oh, God, just lick my clit lightly. Up and down. Yeah, that's it." She hung her head and pressed her hips forward onto his mouth. I watched him lapping at her for a long time. Eventually she raised up on her tiptoes and got very rigid.

"My turn," I said and elbowed Mike aside. I used my tongue like I'd seen him do, flicking at her clit. 

"Sammy, try to get your tongue in me!" She whined. I stabbed deep in her folds and tasted her thick, pasty juice. Mike stood and kissed her, grabbing both tits and pressing them flat against her chest. His dark red cockhead swung by my face.

"AAAuuurrrggghhhh. Ah. Ah. Ahooohhhh" She exhaled nonsense sounds as her second orgasm struck. I gripped her thighs tight and kept gently stroking deep into her pussy then back up to her clit as she shuddered through it. Finally, she could stand no more and sagged into Mike's arms.

He lifted her up and I pointed him to Mom and Dad's bed where he lay her on her back, limp, breathing deeply. I thought maybe she had had all she could stand but gradually she rallied. Janie looked at us with such satisfaction and a sweet affection as we sat on either side caressing her body.

She looked at me seriously for a moment and said, "Sammy I owe you. Can I suck you in return? You've never been sucked, right?" I nodded. 

"Please? It won't violate your oath will it?" She smiled.

"It's not an 'oath', it's a resolution." I said. She was right and I desperately wanted her to do it. 

I turned and dropped down beside her on my back with my head at the edge of the bed. "Sixty-nine, OK? Get on top."

Mike looked on and said, "What about me?"

As Janie straddled my face I looked meaningfully at her pussy, then at this dick. He got the idea right away and aimed that heat-seeking cruise missile of his right at her parted, wet lips. Just inches from my face his corded flesh pressed into her, spreading her slowly, exposing her clit to my tongue. I tentatively flicked at her, tasted her fluids, felt her little hand gripping my cock tight.

Then I knew nothing but the hot, wet heaven of her mouth. She'd opened wide and closed her lips over my cockhead and began working her tongue around as she stroked me. Mike began slowly pressing in and out of her, dragging a frothy film of juices with him. I licked absently at Janie's folds and ran my tongue up the hard underside of Mike's slimy cock. His balls were drawn up tight.

She tried gamely to suck me deep but her mouth was so small and my dick was so big... Nothing prepared me for the all-over heat and dizzying sensation of a wet mouth. My attempts at making a pussy out of socks and pillows seemed stupid. I heard the head-symphony crank up loud as I tried to just stop and feel the wonderful sucking. I watched Mike slide her pussy apart, the shiny lips clinging to his shaft as he pulled slowly back. She was so pink! He was so dark. That's what I would look like spearing into her some day soon.

He pulled her hips back onto his pole, burying it deep, and she moaned around me. I realized I was holding my breath at the edge of a great void, waiting for something to happen, trying to hold onto the moment. But I knew I had to make the moment my own. I grabbed her head, fingers in her loose blond hair, abandoned myself the to the biological imperative, jerked up into her and let it go.

A bolt of liquid fire shot out of me and her wet mouth got wetter. We both made wild incoherent sounds as I spurted again and again. Mike felt the orgasmic energy electrifying our bodies and he began thrusting faster. We were clumsy in our abandon, shaking, convulsed with release. I felt the trickle of semen running from her mouth down and around my testicles. 

Mike and Janie jammed together above my face, a contorted grin of pleasure there, their bodies just the flash of pink and brown, smack and slurp of wet flesh, the smell of rut. My back arched, I pushed Janie upward. Mike slipped out and thrust back against her thigh. I caught his fat, dripping cockhead in my mouth and as my own rattling orgasm subsided sucked him to the back of my throat. He erupted, fell back and, spewing, sprang out. Cum sprayed against Janie's soft pussy as he reached to guide himself back in and jammed deep into her again. She howled.

Mike pulled out and pressed down into my mouth again, squirting erratically. I tried to suck him like Janie'd sucked me as he pushed and pulsed against my tongue. He pulled out of my mouth and drove himself in little sister for one last, deep, long explosion, his legs shaking as he held her little bottom tight against his hips. I swallowed. Bittersweet.

Janie had my dick pressed against her cheek as I shrank and leaked my last emission. She cooed and sighed and relaxed down onto me as she subsided and Mike fell to her side, rolling onto his back, spent half-hard cock slapping his thigh. We each relaxed into post-coital reverie, curled like a clutch of kittens on the bed.

I slept for a little. Sometime later I woke as Janie slid off of me and Mike wrapped her in his arms. I turned around to face them and we just lay there in our bliss for a while.

"You know making love to Mom is going to be even better than that, don't you?" asked Mike.

"I can't see how." That had been more glorious than five years of vivid masturbatory imagination and Internet porn had prepared me for.

"You'll see," he smiled as he gave Janie a tight squeeze, "Right, little sister?"

"Oh, yes, Sammy, like I said, I never dreamed it could be so good." Janie stretched and grinned. "Then I'm going to get a turn, right?"

"That wasn't good enough for you?" I asked, feigning insult. I wanted her so badly and I was getting hard again. But I had to hold out for Mom. Stick to the plan. "I should tell you I'm going to do it with Mom when they get back from Toronto."

Janie squealed with delight and reached to squeeze my thickening cock. I found the strength to get up from the bed and into the shower, a cold shower. I proved I could take control even in the wild abandon of our fucking. The test was passed.

Thursday April 1

I resolved to abstain from sex until I sacrificed my virginity in my mother's bed no matter how alluring Janie and Mike could be with their pants-on-fire, raging-hormone displays of unfettered lust around the house. I loved being sucked by my sister and I had to really work at it to keep from succumbing to the temptation to let her seduce me first. I liked sucking Mike. It seemed like in the heat of the moment, when deep in the act with someone I'd been close to all my life and really loved, it didn't matter their gender. He didn't seem to mind, either, although we didn't talk about it. Twins know.

I think I'll stick with oral, though. I don't like the idea of anal with anyone. It just doesn't turn me on. I particularly don't like the idea of anything stuck up my ass.

Anyway, the folks got back late last night and went almost immediately to bed, clearly exhausted from their trip. This morning they told us a little about it, but Mom said she'd written an account of what she could remember and would rather we read that to find out just how great the audience participation part of the filming of Family Fortune was. She said they would send a tape of the show and we can all watch it together one night to see all that things that won't be shown on'air. She really wants to go back with all three of us some time.

More importantly, she brought back the contact information for the couple and daughter they'd met at the taping and I checked out this girl, Blythe's, Facebook page. I'd never me anyone whose family live the Lifestyle before and we got to an easy correspondence late on Wednesday night. It was like she'd been living my life -- she didn't have anyone to talk to either and we Skyped for hours.

Dad woke up all enthused about putting together some built-in furniture in the play room and he wants Mike and I to help him. Sounds like fun. He'd got the idea from the seating at the Family Fortune set and said it would give us more 'scope' for lovemaking in there. Dad loves building unique spaces. I don't suppose there will be a great demand for 'family fuck rooms' but, who knows, maybe if he spreads the word in the Lifestyle community we can get some more work.

I ran this morning even though I hadn't had much sleep and barely stayed awake in class. Mike, Janie and I have been just stumbling through for the last few weeks. Nobody seemed to notice or care. We're known to be a little weird -- if they only knew.

Once Mom recovers from her trip we'll need to set a specific date. She gave me a warm, inviting hug when she got home but I could tell she was tired. She needed to be reassured that I hadn't changed my mind. 

I didn't realize that my training for the Shamrock and my deflowering were going to take up so much of my time and cause schedule conflicts but that's what's happening. I run 20 miles this Saturday, the longest single day of training. I taper off for another couple of weeks until the race itself. Geez, it's only 24 days away.

Both of these events have become critically important for me. My own goals, my own plan for getting there. I've got a rest day on Sunday, the 11th. Maybe that will be the day...

Thursday April 8th

Wow, it's been a week since I wrote in this journal. I've been busy. Training, of course, and helping Dad and Mike build out the playroom. Plus, I've spent a lot of time on Skype with Blythe. She's built like Janie, but chocolate brown. And she really gets me. There's something so comfortable about talking with her. Is this what it's like to have a girlfriend? I haven't told anybody else.

The chemistry between Mom and me is still bubbling. She's been patiently waiting for me to set a date but I can tell she's getting really antsy. She hovers around when I'm in the house, making sure we have lemonade while we're working on the playroom, almost seeming a little shy. She has a little extra swivel in her hip and she's been touching me more than she used to. A lot more. There's an electricity in the air between us, like our bodies are drawn to each other magnetically. 

Dad hasn't said anything but I see him watching from the corner of his eye. I suppose Mom told him the big day is near. I had asked her to meet me after dinner last night in her garden where she grows her herbs and sunbathes. It seemed right to have the talk in her private space.