5 comments/ 75647 views/ 15 favorites Once Upon a Tug By: MeetTheHumpers Starring the Mountain-Chested Tart Hilda Humper and Her Son With the Twelve Inch Weenie Henry Humper in: "Once Upon A Tug" A story that pushes the boundaries of good taste and is written in a joint effort by Victor C. Nathan and Chantal Lefleur. Henry Humper manuevered his car through the neighborhood that was so familiar to him until he reached his home located on Sex Drive. He eased into the driveway and jumped from the vehicle. Living close to Taft and Adams High School he was able to come home for lunch most days. Henry had had to deal with the usual problems encountered by students in a high school setting. Peer pressure, competing for dates, and trying to keep teachers happy had him a little stressed out, but being a teenage boy, he had managed to work up quite an appetite as the morning passed. The young eighteen-year-old was glad that his mother, school teacher Hilda Humper, was taking a week's vacation from teaching and was home to fix him one of her wonderful home-cooked meals. The minute the high school student stepped into the house, he could smell a delicious aroma wafting from the kitchen. "Mom, I'm home!" Henry yelled, knowing that she was fixing hamburgers for lunch. "Something smells good too and I'm fucking hungry as shit!" "Hi, sweetie," his blonde 38-year-old mother greeted him as he strode into the kitchen and his eyes widened as he saw Hilda dressed in nothing but a pair of cut off Daisy Duke jean shorts that barely covered her big round ass and showed off both her abundant posterior and shapely legs to great effect. "How's school going today?" "Mom, school goes as it always goes," Henry responded. "Same shit, different day. I can't wait until I graduate and get to go away to college. High school is for the lamers." Henry could, even though she wasn't facing him, make out the curves of both of his mother's giant breasts peeking from the sides of her person. Even though it was his mother, Henry had to admit that Hilda possessed the biggest and most amazing pair of titties that he had ever laid eyes on. He felt a twinge of guilt as he sensed his penis beginning to straighten beneath his work slacks. She hadn't even turned around yet, but Henry already knew how big her knockers were. They were like boulders. Henry took a seat at the table as Hilda continued to work at the stove. A second later, she turned around and smiled before stepping closer and taking a seat across from him, Henry losing his breath as he saw Hilda's legendary Humper titties quivering as she sat, the flesh of her round basketball boobies rippling as they bobbed. What made them look even more cartoonish was the fact that she had a very narrow and slender waist, one that contradicted her round fanny and megaton bomb bazooms. The young male Humper could not help but look at them as they shook, their rosebud nipples pointy with spacious areola. His mother was definitely casual about her body and pranced about the house topless, or sometimes completely naked, the minute it got warm outside. "Gee, it's fucking hot today," Hilda commented, grinning at him amusedly as his eyes tried to find a reasonable place to remain. "If I had balls, I would be sweating my balls off. Lunch will be ready in a few minutes, honey. You okay?" "Geez, Mom. I think they must grow as you sleep or something," Henry laughed, sporting a sheepish grin. "They look bigger every time I see them. Yeah, it must have been hot today. Your boobs are sweating like crazy." Henry noticed that right at her cleavage, she was glistening with perspiration. What knockers she had. His mother reached down with a dish towel and dabbed between her tits with it. "What a scorcher!" Hilda exclaimed as she wiped off each drop of sweat from her assets. "These dog days of summer get my big ol' teatsie weatsies dripping and all hot and sweaty wetty." "No shit!" Henry agreed, feeling his large wee wee grow slightly larger and experiencing more guilt about the inappropriateness of his natural reaction to a set of knockers with all the subtlety of Mount Everest. "Did you have a good vacation day today, Mom? Restful?" "Well, Henry," Hilda responded thoughtfully. "I've been keeping pretty busy, trying to catch up on the chores around the house. And this heat is a killer." "Oh, come on, Mom," Henry retorted with a wink as his pupils still were expanded from the eyeful of tittie he had been taking in. "That can't be all that happened today. A Humper vacation always ends up much more interesting." "Oh, Henry," Hilda giggled girlishly. "You know me far too well. Tee hee hee. I did stop for a little while early this morning to give the paperboy a nice wee wee wash, and I had a quick tumble with the courier who dropped off a package." "I'll bet those big fucking titties of yours got the UPS man way upppppp! Ha ha ha!" Henry chortled like a kid hearing a dirty joke, as his enormous wee wee, which by this point was stretched to a full twelve inches from all the sex talk and naked boobies, pressed hard into the wooden underside of the kitchen table. "Tee hee hee, Henry," she chortled in return. "And I'll bet my little story has gotten your wee wee way up too. Hee hee. That naughty fucking wee wee of yours is always turning into a stiffy." "Wow, Mom!" Henry exclaimed. "Your story and your titties have given me a huge stiffy." "Tee hee hee," Hilda responded, laughing naughtily. "My titties often seem to have that effect. I see you looking at them sometimes when you think I haven't noticed." "Gee, Mom," he responded in an embarrassed tone. "I can't help it if you have the best rack in the whole town." "You're damn right I do," Hilda said, turning and bringing the food she had prepared to the table for her hungry boy. As she came over to set his plate adorned with a hamburger and fries before him, she glanced beneath the table and whistled with admiration at the stalk that jutted from his crotch up and then collided with the wood of the tabletop's bottom. "Holy shit, sweetie. You weren't kidding when you said my story had given you a stiffy. That fucker looks like he is about to drill right through wood and come up for a look at what we are having for lunch." "Ha, ha, very funny, Mom," Henry replied. "It's no fucking joke to have a hard-on like this. It's so damn frustrating. Sometimes I get so horny that I can hardly stand it." "Aww, sweetie, I understand," Hilda responded sympathetically. "You're young and those hormones are pretty powerful. I know it is hard for you sometimes, no pun intended. Tee hee hee." "Oh, Mom," replied Henry wistfully. "You don't know the half of it. Why, today at school, I had the hots for this new girl in my class and I got an erection just looking at her and thinking about how great it would be to be with her. One of the guys in my class saw that I had a woody and the whole class ended up laughing at me. I was mortified." "Oh, Henry," said Hilda, rising from the table to give her son a hug. "Do you need Mama to help you feel better, sweetie?" "All I am saying is that I was fucking embarrassed as shit," Henry snapped, angry at the memory of the day's events as Hilda put her arm around his shoulder and her right boob bumped against his ear in a not at all unpleasant way. It looked like a cannonball, but was softer, but firm and not cold and solidified. Henry still had to admit that every girl he took to bed came up short in the tittie department when compared to his mother. It had just been two years since Hilda had weaned him from nursing her big mams, and since then the milk had ceased to be produced by her knockers. He had quit nursing the day he got his driver's license. It had been a long goodbye, but had finally happened. "I'm really sorry you're having such a bad day, Henry," his mother said soothingly. "Would it help any if Mama gave you a nice tug, sweetie? Lunch can wait until wee wee gets his hunger sated." "I really don't know, Mom," replied Henry somewhat morosely. "Last time you did that Harriet walked in on us and she has never stopped teasing me about it. Her teasing got on my nerves. She even threatened to tell all my friends about it, but they already know all about it and they think it's cool. Why, they think you're the coolest mom ever." "Aww, what a sweet thing for them to say," his mother responded. "But there is no need to worry about Harriet. She has gone shopping for the day and won't be home until later this afternoon. I think you could use a good tug, baby. It would help release some of that tension in your wee wee and make that awful heaviness in your sack get lighter." Reaching down with one of her dainty and perfectly manicured hands, Hilda grasped the shaft of Henry's wee wee through his trousers and pulled him to his feet. "Come on, Henry," she urged him. "Mama can make Henry feel all better." "Well," Henry said with a sheepish grin. "Maybe it would help a little bit. My trouser snake is pretty tense and feels pretty frustrated. Geez, your boobies always send the blood rushing to the right location. But you know what, Mom? If I were with anyone but you I could get a nice wee wee wash and I think I deserve one after the morning I've had, but I guess even the Humpers have to have some taboos and standards." "You are absolutely right, baby," Hilda replied proudly. "My standards may be low, but by God, I have them. Tee hee hee." "My breasts always have a big effect on wee wees, poopsie," Hilda giggled, taking her hand off his wee wee stick for a second and giving him a soothing hug, her megaton bomb boobs pressing hard against his lower chest as her arms wrapped around him and embraced his muscular frame innocently and with much love and affection. "You've been suckling Mama's big bouncy knockers since you were a baby. And for sixteen years my big boy got to feed from Mama's milk balloons. Now that you're older, there are other ways to soothe you when you get down and depressed. What do you think?" "Gee, Mom," said Henry earnestly. "Perhaps a nice tug would help me feel better. It's pretty rough when your whole class laughs at you just for getting a rise in your pants looking at a pretty girl." "I know, sweetie," Hilda responded. "Boys can't help that pretty titties make them hot and bothered. It's just how teenage boys are. So we'll put off lunch for just a little while and I will take care of that big appetite in your wee wee." Letting go of her son's frame, Hilda reached down once again and grabbed his fully erect wee wee in her hand and started to pull him out of the kitchen and down the hall towards the living room. Once inside, she turned to her boy, undid his belt buckle and unfastened the button at the top of his trousers. Pulling them down by the waistband, she let them slide to the floor and held onto Henry while he stepped out of them and kicked them aside. "Holy shit!" exclaimed Hilda as she took in the huge bulge in his Fruit Of The Looms. "That is one fucking huge wee wee you have, Henry. And look at your poor ballsack. Why that sucker is hanging lower than I have ever seen before. You need Mama to help clean out those pipes and lighten the load in your ballies a little." Hilda's hand moved down to his crotch once more and the fingers of her right hand closed around his fabric-encased hard-on. Hilda's fingers tenderly began to rub and stroke the rigid shaft of flesh as she smiled sweetly at him and watched his reaction to her pulling. "Oh, he's so bigggggg, Henry! Does that feel good, sweetie? Having Mama rub wee wee?" Hilda's triple J cup twin mountains bobbed and shook as she fondled his private parts. The way her titties jiggled, wiggled and bounced was such a turn on that Henry thought he might come spontaneously. "Oh, it feels fucking good, Mom," Henry sighed with closed eyes. "So good to my wee wee, but it's got to be upstairs. Aaaaahhhhhh! I don't want Harriet coming home early and prancing into the living room and getting in the way of a tug. The slut will probably drag home some boy from the mall and be all keyed up about sucking him off." "No problem, sweetie," Hilda responded, pulling Henry out into the hall and up the stairs by his wee wee. "Tee hee hee," Hilda giggled. "This is so much fun. I feel quite naughty." Finally reaching Henry's bedroom, Hilda pulled Henry inside and kicked the door closed with her foot. "We don't want tuggus interruptus, now do we, sweetie?" she asked rhetorically. Hilda turned to her son and reached down, grabbing the waistband of his underwear and pulling the briefs down his legs and off, tossing them across the room in her haste to get to work. Once free of his underwear, Henry's male member stretched out to its full foot or more and Hilda once again was filled with pride at the organ that was the talk of the entire Humper clan. Grasping it once again, Hilda moved her hand slowly up and down the trunk of Henry's wee wee and looked him in the eye so that she could watch his reactions. "Does that feel good, baby?" Hilda cooed. "Does that feel good to wee wee?" "Oh, Mom," sighed Henry, his respirations becoming ragged and labored as she worked her magic on his staff. "This is such fucking great shit. You are driving me wild." Reaching out with her free hand, Hilda took hold of a bottle of hand lotion that stood on Henry's dresser and pumped a little bit into her other hand and rubbed it all over the full length of Henry's wee wee. "That will cut down on the friction burns, sweetie. Tee hee hee! Guess what, Henry?" Hilda asked as she pulled on his long dick. "What?" Henry queried, his planting tool rigid and at full mast. "Wee wee's standing! Wee wee's standing!" Hilda shrieked and giggled as she let go of his organ for a second and clapped her hands together like an immature cheerleader, her boobies jiggling and jarring with her giddy abandon that was mingled with pride at his length and hardness. "Wee wee's standing big and tall! Tee hee hee! Wee wee and his big ol' balls! Hee hee hee!" Henry couldn't help but laugh at her childish innocence sometimes. "That's funny," the overly endowed youngster chuckled. "But don't stop tugging. I feel like I could develop a hernia, my balls are so heavy and full." "No problem, sweetie," Hilda chuckled quietly but exuberantly. "You know there is nothing I like better than giving a wee wee a nice tug. Why, I think I could keep it up all day, no pun intended. Tee hee hee." "Why don't you look at my big ol' titties while I whack around your cock and balls, sweetie?" Hilda asked her son. "My big juggies have launched more rockets than NASA. Hee hee." Henry did as he was instructed and his erection stretched to even greater proportions in no time flat. No man could ever resist his mother's titan titties and Henry had no doubt that her twin peaks had been the direct cause of thousands of erections. Hilda's hand was literally flying up and down the length of Henry's shaft and her boobies were flying wildly, occasionally slapping her on the underside of her chin. "Oh, fuck! Oh, shit!" exclaimed Henry, nearly being driven wild by his mother's hand on his wee wee. "This is some fucking fantastic shit." "So, Henry," inquired Hilda as she yanked on her boy's jumbo sausage. "Did anything good happen at school today, sweetie?" "Well," responded Henry, his eyes fluttering with the sensations that shot wildly through his wee wee. "There was one thing that was pretty good. I asked that girl Bonnie, you know, the one who works at the library, if she would go out with me on Friday night. Ohhhhhhhh, yeahhhhh! Tug, Mom, tug!" "And did she accept, sweetie?" his mother asked as her hand jerked and yanked on Henry's wee wee, almost at warp speed. "She jumped at the chance, Mom," Henry replied, enjoying every second of being jacked off so fiercely. "Someone told her how big my johnson was and she told me she wants to give it a test drive. And she let me finger her in study hall. Holy shitttttttttttttttt!" "I'm so proud of you, Henry," Hilda sighed, keeping up the frantic motion of her hand on his knob. "You make sure you give her a thorough fucking. Give her a good hard dicking with your big humpstick. Okay, sweetie?" "Oh, don't you worry, Mom. I sure will," Henry replied, grinning as Hilda gave his pecker joy beyond compare. "And Henry?" his mother said in her serious teacher's voice. "If you are going to have sex in your car, please have safe sex, sweetie. I don't want to have to worry about you getting distracted and crashing while she sucks your wee wee." "I always keep my eyes on the oncoming traffic, Mom," Henry assured her in between his heavy breathing. "So don't worry your beautiful blonde head about that. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk! That feels fantastic!" "Well, Henry," Hilda told him in her serious parenting voice. "Like Grandma June always said, sweetie, 'All good things come from what's between your thighs.' Don't ever forget that, baby." "Holy fucking shit, that feels good!" Henry shouted. "Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" "Mom?" inquired Henry breathlessly as her adroit hand still manifested wondrous sexual bliss on his planting tool. "Can I tell you something?" "Of course, baby," his mother replied, her stimulation of his parts excruciatingly effective as she tugged. "Never be afraid to tell me anything." "This is a little bit embarrassing, Mom," said Henry, looking wistfully at her gigantic mammaries as they jiggled and bounced wildly while she continued her assault on her boy's throbbing manhood. "But I miss the days when you used to let me suckle your titties." "Oh, I miss those days too, sweetie," Hilda responded with much warmth. "Remember the time I got caught tittie feeding you in the teachers' lounge while you were still a freshman?" "That was too fucking funny, Mom," Henry laughed aloud, pressure mounting gradually in his penis. "They thought I was too old for that, but I knew I wasn't. I hated having to give that up when I turned sixteen." "Those dear dead days beyond recall," Hilda sighed sadly, wiping a tear as it coursed down her cheek. "Those days make me so sentimental, Henry." "Mom?" Henry inquired in a very serious tone of voice. "Is what we are doing wrong?" "Wrong? Wrong, you ask me?" Hilda replied testily. "How can anything that feels this fucking good possibly be wrong?" "You're right, Mom," he said, sounding quite relieved as his wee wee quivered with tingles. "Nothing that feels this fucking fantastic could be wrong." "Do you think I'm bad, Henry?" Hilda asked him, her eyes going from the head of his wee wee to meet his. "And please be honest with me." "No, Mama. You're not bad. They just write you that way." Henry's erection began to wane somewhat due to the distraction of their weighty conversation, so Hilda waggled her ass at him, producing the desired effect as he grew up to a full foot long once again. "You have quite a ghetto booty, Mom," Henry said, laughing as she shook her full-fleshed fanny in his face. "Jennifer Lopez, eat your fucking heart out, baby," Hilda responded, squealing as Henry gave her bottom an open-handed slap. "Her ass has nothing on mine." "Yeah, Mom," Henry interjected as pre-cum dribbled from the end of his wee wee. "If those titties of yours don't reel the men in, that ass of yours sure will. They've got more cushion for the pushin'. I'm so lucky to have you for a mom." "Shut the fuck up, Henry," Hilda snapped, bringing her attention back strictly to dishing out a hand job to her boy. "Can't you see I'm trying to give a tug here?" Hilda continued to yank and pull on her boy's swollen stalk so hard that she momentarily lost her balance and Henry had to reach out and steady her. "Hee hee, Mom," he laughed as his hands grabbed her at the waist to stop her from falling. "Look at me. I'm huggin' for a tuggin'. Hee hee." Once Upon a Tug Henry reached for the other pillow that lay on his bed and put it under his head to raise himself up a little. From this angle, he could clearly see the two of them reflected in the mirror of his dresser and it excited him to watch his mother's nimble movements as she whacked his tallywhacker. Watching her titties fly and jiggle and bounce gave him such a strong stirring in his loins that he thought he might come immediately, but he wanted to try and prolong the pleasure for as long as he could possibly hold out. It wasn't long at all before Hilda could see the subtle signs that Henry was nearing his completion. With her free hand, she reached down and cupped Henry's big balls, balancing them on her hand as though it was a scale and she was weighing produce. "Come on, Henry," his busty parent implored him. "Clean out those pipes. Make those ballies lighter. Come on, sweetie. You can do it." "Oh, fuck! Oh, shit! Oh, hell! Oh, damn! Oh, yeahhhhhh!" Henry screamed out loud as he finally felt the first streams of semen leave the tip of his phallus. "This is some spectacular shit!" His hot seed jetted from his urethral orifice under great pressure and flew up high in the air and splattered the light fixture and left globs of semen sticking to the texture of his bedroom ceiling. "Oh, fuck!" Hilda ejaculated verbally. "Now look what you've done, Henry. I just had that fucking ceiling painted and now you have gone and ruined it. Damn it." "Sorry, Mom," said Henry contritely. "I'll clean up every drop, don't you worry. I just didn't think I would come quite so high." "Okay, Henry," said Hilda, somewhat remorseful that she had worried about her ceiling at such an important moment. "You're such a good boy." "Wow. Wait until I tell the guys at school about this," Henry laughed, his respirations finally getting less labored and his heartrate slowly returning to normal. "Don't you fucking dare tell your friends about this, Henry Humper," Hilda admonished him, shaking the last string of semen from the tip of his erection. "Last time you did that we had a line-up of boys reaching down the street and around the corner and I ended up having to have surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome. I'm not whacking that many of your friends off at one time ever again." "Hee hee, Mom," came Henry's reply. "Sorry about that." Hilda continued to milk Henry's wee wee for every last drop of ejaculate. "Get it all out, Henry, dear," his big-busted mommy coaxed him. "I want it alllllllllllllll out. Tee hee hee. Naughty, naughty, Henry. That's not all of it, baby." Squeezing his sack gently and rubbing the length of his wee wee with her dainty fingers, Hilda was able to produce another small excretion of jism that ran down the trunk of Henry's wee wee like a lone tear on a sad visage. All of this attention on Henry's phallus soon produced a renewed reaction. "Holy shit, Henry," Hilda squealed like a cheerleader at a high school football game. "It's getting fucking hard again. Tee hee hee. Just look at that. Are you going to need another tug, sweetie? I just hate to see a perfectly good hard-on go to waste." "Well, gee, Mom. I'd love another tug, but won't Harriet be home soon?" "Never mind Harriet," Hilda responded, rising from the bed and crossing the room to Henry's bedroom door, her knockers bobbing sexily as she strode and making her well hung offspring's wee wee spring back to its full former glory. Grabbing the door knob, she depressed the piece in the middle, locking the door securely. "Discretion is the better part of valor, Henry," Hilda told him, sounding for the first time like an English teacher. "Now, where were we?" "I had one more class to go to after lunch, but fuck school!" Henry chortled, his wee wee standing, straightened and stretching guiltily towards his mother. "My wee wee's hungry!" A couple of hours later, Hilda Humper was sitting at the desk in her downstairs hallway speaking to her mother June on the telephone. Henry wandered in, his wee wee still hanging from his Fruit of the Looms even though his mother had administered a second tug that had concluded quite some time ago. "Mom?" he said loudly, his dick clearly exposed to her. "I need to talk to you about something." "Shut the fuck up, Henry," Hilda told him peevishly. "Can't you see I'm on the fucking phone?" "But Mom," he whined again, his semi-erect johnson swaying casually back and forth in the breeze. "I really need to ask you something." "Henry, dear," his tittie mama snapped tersely. "I am on the phone with your Grandma June, so whatever you need to ask me will have to wait. Okay, sweetie?" "But Mommmmmmmmmmmmmm." "Don't 'but Mom' me, Henry Humper," Hilda said heatedly, her famous temper flaring. "I'm on the phone, sweetie and whatever you need to ask me can wait. Now leave me the fuck alone." Hilda returned her attention to her mother, who sat on the other end of the line, catching up on the events in the life of her favorite daughter and only grandchildren. Suddenly, Hilda felt something warm and hard brush the left side of her face and jam itself into her left ear. "What the fuck?" Hilda shrieked. "What the fuck is that?" Turning her face to the side, she saw that her teenage son had grabbed his wee wee in one hand and was attempting to jam it in his mother's ear. "Tee hee hee," Hilda squealed, laughing hysterically. "That is too fucking funny." "What's going on, Hilda?" June Humper inquired of her daughter. "Why the hell are you laughing so hard?" "Mommy, you'll never believe this in a million years, but Henry just stuck his fucking wee wee in my ear. This is some funny shit. Tee hee hee hee." "Stuck his wee wee in your ear?" asked June incredulously. "Whatever for?" "Oh, he's just being a sissy boy because I told him I was busy on the phone," retorted Hilda, still giggling. "Well, he wanted my attention and he got it. Hee hee hee." "Hang on a sec, Mom," said Hilda, putting down the handpiece of the telephone and giving her son her undivided attention. "Now, what is so almighty important that you couldn't wait until I was off the phone for, Henry?" asked Hilda indulgently as she eyed his naked member. "Mom, I'm still horny," Henry whined. "Can I get one more tug from you?" "Wow, Henry," smiled Hilda, remembering how powerful those youthful hormones could be. "Is wee wee still feeling a bit frisky? Perhaps we didn't empty those pipes as thoroughly as we thought. Are your ballies still heavy, honey?" "I just need another tug, Mommy," pleaded Henry, reverting to the name for her that he hadn't used in years. "Please? My wee wee needs to come. It needs to come bad." "What does Henry want, Hilda?" her mother asked her from the other end of the line. "Is something wrong with him?" "No, Mom," Hilda answered her, laughing. "He wants another fucking wee wee tug, and he's already had two." "Oh, come on, Hilda," her mother chastised her. "Why don't you just give the boy a nice wee wee wash? We all know you want to." "Mom," Hilda responded, feeling like a child again as she often did when she was around her mother. "You've gone too far this time. The only thing I ever do is fish it out of his pants and give it a sweet kiss before school sometimes." "Oh, lighten up, Hilda," her mother chided her in a dismissive tone. "Why not just let him stick that big thing right in your mouth?" "Mama," Hilda replied, not wanting to continue this line of thought. "I'm not made that way." "Mom," Henry whined again, annoying his mother with the way he was acting like a tittie baby. "Can I have another tug or not? Are you going to play with my stick shift and ball bearings or just gab on the fucking phone?" "Okay, baby," Hilda relented, smiling sweetly. "I can go you one better. How about you just slap that big boy of yours right between Mama's big titties and give it a ride through the valley while I talk to your grandmother? Does that sound like fun, baby?" "Oh, fuck, yeah!" shouted Henry enthusiastically, moving closer to his mother and thrusting his now erect penis between her soft velvety flesh pillows. "Yee haw!" The perspiration between Hilda's breasts provided lubrication for Henry's big stick as he slid it up and down between them, occasionally hitting his mother in the chin with it when he got a bit overly enthusiastic. "Woo hoo!" Henry yelled out loud. "This fucking rocks!" Eee aww, eee aww, was the sound made by his rigid prick as it thrust upwards between his mother's sweaty boobies. "Now where were we, Mom?" Hilda asked June as she returned her attention to the telephone. "Oh, yes. I was telling you about Harriet's date the other night. You know, the one where she exceeded her personal best and fucked the lucky boy four times in the span of a three hour date. She fucked his wee wee good and it was a big one too. Nine inches." "Well, she's a chip right off the old block, Hilda," said June, smiling widely. "I always knew that girl would go far." Eeee, awww, eeee, awww, eeee, awwwwwwww. "Anyway," said June in a very businesslike voice. "I had better get going, Hilda. I have the Maytag repairman stopping by and I want to have a chance to freshen up before I fuck him. Okay, sweetie?" "Have fun, Mom," giggled Hilda girlishly. "But don't do anything I wouldn't do. Tee hee hee." "Bye, Hilda," June said, blowing her daughter a kiss. "Talk to you later. I love you." The last thing June Humper heard as she lowered the telephone handpiece to the cradle was her grandson, shouting at the top of his lungs. "Ohhhhhhhh, shittttttttttttt, aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Laughingly, June rose from the wing chair she had been sitting in and shook her head from side to side. "That's my boy," she beamed proudly, a smile taking up most of her older, but still attractive face. "I'm so proud of that boy." "Henry Humper!" Hilda shrieked out her son's name as she jumped up from the chair she had been sitting in while she spoke to her mother. "Your jizz just hit Mama on the back of the head, sweetie. And I already washed my hair today." "Sorry, Mom. Hee hee," said Henry, only slightly apologetic over his reckless ejaculation. "I didn't really mean to hit you. It just got away from me is all." "Well, don't let it happen again, sweetie," Hilda warned him, turning to face her boy. "Now, let's see if you can hit these puppies," she coached. "Ten points for the nipple, five points for the areola, baby." Henry Humper wrapped his hand around his wee wee and aimed the head in the general direction of his mother's heaving chest. "Wee wee spitting! Wee wee spitting!" Hilda Humper squealed, sounding much younger than her 38 years. "Squirtsies! Squirtsies! Yeah, that's the ticket! Wow! Look at that fucker shoot! Tee hee hee! Now don't you just love 'coming' home for lunch?" THE END