13 comments/ 116168 views/ 13 favorites Never Better By: bassbelly My name is Scotty Conner. I am 6'4" and weigh around 235. I possess a black belt in karate and a bachelor's degree in computer science from Cal Poly. At 25 years of age, I am living the American dream, except for the fact that I am hopelessly in love with a girl who is impossible to reach. This girl is 20 years old, 5'1" and weighs in at 103 lbs. She has dark hazel eyes, a pert little upturned nose, beautiful lips and size 34 C breasts. Her hair is dark auburn and is shoulder length. She is a gymnast studying Oriental Languages at UCLA. Her name is Rebecca Conner. She is my sister. I have loved her forever, but I have been in love with her for the past 5 years. This situation is extremely frustrating for me, as it keeps me from dating or even having any female friends. She lives with our parents in a small house in Westwood. I have bought a house close to where I work in Santa Monica. It is a small 2 bedroom place close to the beach. My story starts one Thursday afternoon. I had just gotten home from work when the telephone rang. "Hello", I said as I punched the 'on' button. "Hi Scotty, it's Becky." "Oh, hi sweetie, what can I do for you?", I queried. "I need to ask a huge favor of you.", she replied. "Shoot, honey, I'm all ears." "Scotty, can I move in with you for a while? Mom and Dad are going to tour the Caribbean, and I don't want to stay in this house all by myself." Suddenly, I broke into a slight sweat. My tongue went dry. I could hardly croak into the phone, "Sure Becky, c'mon over. When will you be here?" I knew I should have said no. I knew that living in the same house with her for 6 weeks was going to destroy what little morals I still possessed. However, as is always the case with men, my #2 head took control and before I could put the brakes on my mouth, the fatal words were zipping down the phone lines. I was screwed and I knew it. "Thank God," Becky giggled into the phone. "I've got a lot to discuss with you and besides, we need some time together. I hardly ever see you and I want a chance to get to know how you're doing." Yup, that was it. I was doomed. My fate sealed by 103 pounds of dynamite. Two days later Becky appeared at my door with a host of baggage and packages. As is usual for a woman, she had enough gear with her for a 2 year safari. I helped her bring her things into the house. She started arranging them in my spare bedroom. Finally, we had her stuff moved in. She collapsed into the sofa in the living room with a sigh of relief. I brought sodas for her and me from the refrigerator and she accepted hers gratefully. We ordered a pizza and turned on the big screen TV. The pizza arrived in about 30 minutes and we both munched it up. It was Sunday evening and both of us had to be up early the next morning so Becky retired to her room and me to mine. All night evil little thoughts trickled through my brain. I composed all sorts of scenarios in which I would somehow take possession of her, but wound up running off a batch by hand. I fell into a fitful sleep which did nothing to rest me. In the morning I was off and running. So was Becky. She was close to graduation and wanted to maintain her 3.9 GPA. I was close to getting a promotion and didn't want anything to interfere with it. The next week was pretty much a replay of the first day with both of us zooming around and doing our respective duties. Yes, I jacked off every night to thoughts of the sweet little package ensconced under my roof, but didn't make a move on her. Points for me, I guess. Friday afternoon, our lives ground to a snail's pace. The pressure was off and at last we would have a chance to chat and really become acquainted. I got home first, got a quick shower, put on my sleepwear and started dinner. Did I mention I'm a pretty good cook? We were going to have chicken Kiev with roasted veggies and a mild white wine. Chocolate mousse would provide the finishing touches. Becky got home about an hour after I did. She immediately jumped in the shower and 30 minutes or so later, made her appearance in the kitchen in her pajamas. As soon as she strolled into the kitchen, I got a good shot of the female aroma that surrounded her. My cock twitched. I knew I was in deep trouble. "Wow, bro, that chicken looks great!" she exclaimed. "Well, it only costs a little more to go first class." I replied. I served the chicken in the small dining room. We consumed it with the gusto of a couple of hound dogs. We also consumed almost the whole bottle of wine. In keeping with the old adage, never travel without a spare, I broke open another bottle and we retired to the living room. I put a Trish Trang disk into the player and turned it down fairly low. "So, Scotty, what have you been doing with yourself? Are all the Santa Monica chicks ravaging your body on a regular basis?" she inquired. "Actually, I have not been ravaged even once." I stated. "Why not? You're a good looking guy." "I've been too busy to do much dating." I said. "How many dates have you been out on in the last couple of years?" she nosed. "Well in fact, what's the number just before one?" I admitted. "What?" she exclaimed. "Are you a little light in the loafers? There must be some reason you're not dating. It is unnatural for a young stud to be that reclusive." "If you must know, I'm in love with someone unreachable. I just can't seem to get her out of my mind long enough to corner one of those beach bunnies." "Oh, my! Do I know the lucky girl?" I almost lost it right then and confessed, but I figured that if I did, she would move out immediately and I'd never see her again. I poured some more wine. "My turn," I said. "How many boys are snuffling up your path? There must be dozens!" "I'm really in the same boat as you." She sighed. "I have not had a date since high school. I am also deeply in love with someone." My heart sank like a stone. "How are things going at home?" I queried. "Not too great. That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about." I saw tears in her eyes. Her head dropped. "I think I've got to get out of that house for good. Mom and Dad are always yelling at me and at each other. Dad gets drunk sometimes and tries to feel me up. I don't know how far he'd carry it if he were really drunk. Home is becoming a living hell for me." And with that, she burst into tears. I was shocked. I wanted to kick Dad's ass. I wanted to bitch-slap Mom. But most of all, I wanted to get Becky away from there. "So why don't you move in with this guy you love? Surely, he'd have to be the world's biggest idiot to turn you down." I looked into the eyes that I loved with all my heart. She looked up at me and before she even said anything, I knew. "I already moved in with him. Scotty, it's you!" Tears now came to my eyes. My voice caught in my throat. I stared intently at her. "I knew if I told you that, you would hate me! I'm so sorry Scotty. I'll just move out and find a place of my own." "You aren't going anywhere!" I shouted. "What?" "I just didn't have the guts to tell you this, but you are the one I'm in love with! I've been in love with you for years." I leaned over and kissed her deeply. Not a brother-sister kiss. A deep down tongue and tangle kiss. She responded with some tongue action of her own, gave a little squeal and jumped into my lap. "Oh, Scotty!! I can't believe that you love a little shrimp like me! I have waited so long to tell you this because I thought you would laugh at me or kick me out. I've never been in love with anyone else. It has always been you!!" There is no way to imagine the elation I felt. It was as if a giant load had been lifted from my shoulders. I sobbed quietly at my good fortune. "We need to talk about a lot of things." I said. "But most of them can wait until tomorrow. For right now, we are going to discuss a couple of "are nots". "What "are nots?"" she whispered. "Well, first, you 'are not' going to cry anymore because you 'are not' going back to that house. Secondly, you 'are not' sleeping in the spare room anymore because tomorrow, you 'are not' going to be a virgin. You are going to be my wife, with or without ceremony. I love you too much to let society steal you from me." With that, I lifted her feather-light form into my arms and skipped down the hallway to our bedroom. I flipped her onto my California king sized bed. When she bounced, she immediately shed her pajama top revealing her perfect virginal breasts. I stripped off my tops and bottoms. When she saw my 11" cock, she looked at me with a mixture of lust and fear. I reached down and jerked off her bottoms and there before my wondering eyes was the most perfect pussy I had ever seen. I picked her legs up and started kissing her little feet, sucking in her toes one at a time. She started to shiver. "Please be gentle." She begged. "I would kill myself before I hurt you!" I exclaimed. I started kissing and licking up her legs while worshipping her pussy. Soon, I would possess it, but first she must be made completely ready. By the time I got to the tops of her thighs, she was shaking and moaning in low guttural tones. I slid up her body and kissed her sweet, sweet lips. I rammed my tongued into her mouth and she sucked it as far down her throat as she could get it. I scooted back down a little and started playing with her magnificent breasts. She was moaning louder now and starting to writhe around on the bed. I still had not touched her beautiful pussy, but that was about to change. "Scotty, Scotty" she whined. "Let me touch your cock. I want to taste it and love it." So I slid around into the 69 position and felt her take me in her hand. Her pussy was now directly above my lips. Moisture dripped from it and the heavenly aroma emanating from it overwhelmed me. I stuck my tongue out and licked her labia just as she inhaled my cock. I thought I was going to faint. Her pussy juice was salty and sweet. Perfect. When I stuck my tongue deep into her, her pussy tasted like roasted duck. I was in heaven. I could have munched her muff all night long and been perfectly happy. "Scotty, get up here and fuck me!!" she wailed. Never being one to disobey a direct order from a superior, I switched around, got up on my knees in between her legs and started my final plunge into heaven. She looked into my eyes and said, "This is gonna hurt, isn't it?" "Yes," I said, "but the pain will go away quickly and be replaced with feelings you didn't know existed." "OK," she whispered. "Let's do it!!" I slid my cock up to her virginal entrance and slowly pressed forward. Never had I felt anything so tight! Soon, I came to her hymen. When I bumped it, I saw her twitch. I looked down at her and she gave me a shy smile and a small nod. I pushed forward, but didn't break it. I knew it was going to hurt her a lot, so I started to pull out and tell her we would try it another day. That's when I felt those gymnast's legs wrap around my butt and jerk me into her all the way. She issued a scream and I thought I had killed her. I started to pull out again but those super strong legs held me in place. "No Scotty," she smiled. "Just leave it where it is until I get used to it. Then we're gonna have some fun!" I lay there with my cock in her for a little while and then I felt her start to move under me. I took the hint and started to slowly stroke in and out of her in the age-old mating rhythm. The longer I stroked, the more she wanted. Soon, she was panting and pleading "More, faster, harder, more, more. Yes, yes, yes, yes" in time with our love strokes. Soon, her rhythm changed and her breath became a gasp. So did mine. "Scotty, what's happening to me?" she pleaded. "You are about to cum for the first time. Let go. Let it happen." So she stroked on with me trying to keep pace. Soon I felt a stirring deep in my balls. "I'm going to cum soon." I grunted. "Where do you want it?" "In me Scotty!!! Make a baby in me." "Are you sure?" "It's all I've ever wanted!! Your baby!! Give it to me now!!" she screamed. And with that, I could hold back no longer. She couldn't either and we came together in one of those cataclysmic bursts of stellar energy that define the universe. God!! I had never felt anything like it. She lay there panting and puffing. "Is it always this wonderful?" she puffed. "So far!" I gasped like a guppy on a sand pile. As you may have guessed, we did, indeed, conceive a child during that first session. Or maybe it was one of the many sessions that followed that weekend. I love that girl with all my heart and my entire being. I would kill for her. I would die for her. She professes her undying love for me. There is nothing better than this! Never Better This is a fictional story that I weaved around watching two friends pick away at each other, because he's a polyamorist and she believes that he should be her one true everything. What would happen if during one of their many splits one of their shared friends became involved with him? I've started it after the foreplay, the climax and the heartbreak. My only excuse it that the characters grew so personal that it feels like, when I write about their thoughts and activates that I'm spying on them, and then gossiping to their worst enemy. Anyways, please take a look at this draft and let me know if I should own up, and start from the beginning or move forward from this point. ----------------- I walked around the gun shop. It was a small, unappealing place, once again reinforcing my decision that leaving was a bad idea. The city was lifeless and where I had once had friends, a decent job and pastimes that I would die for, now I spent most of my time on the couch staring out over painted and under caulked windows to the grimy street below. If I wasn't temping for some one who was to cheep to hire a capable employee. I forced my legs to walk down towards the back of the store. Not all gun and knife stores are like the last few I had visited. Gary ran his like it was his baby, I sighed. My eyes roamed over the cases of hardware. Nothing impressed me. Not that I was an expert, especially when it came to guns so in the end, my focus lingered on the few blades and the sleazy guy. Most of the knives to me were for show, big Rambo type weapons which were really just large trinkets that people though looked cool. I had to remind myself that I was in a different area so may there was a legitimate use for the five large machetes on the wall, but I had yet to encounter a reason yet in the Cincinnati area. I didn't see any Kerambit knife's my personal favorite it was simple, small and thorough. There's something about creepy guys in movies that just don't usually cut it. Maybe because their trying to be creepy verse real life, creepy guys who are trying to be, um I don't know cool. Or maybe it's because they have a creepy aura that tangibly clings to them like the feeling you get when you have to put a pair of cold dirty socks back on your feet. Consciously I know, better than some that sociopaths are the clean and charming people, but at least you're comfortable until they turn on you. "Can I help you find anything?" Bubba ask for the third time. It wasn't a necessarily rude question so I grit my teeth and smile. It's always a game, or maybe I can't stop thinking that way. If I'm too nice he'll think he has an opening, if I rude he'll get offended. This is why I think women just need to go out and buy a dammed wedding band. It keeps away all sorts of creeps for all sorts of reasons but it didn't always work. "Um, no not really, it's my husband's birthday and I know he's into this kind of stuff." I fluttered my hand to take in all gear. "Do you have any of those French knifes I think they're called Laguiole Rou- something? He likes the old ones." I said, looking as pleadingly as I could. A slimy voice spoke from an open door that was probably serving as an office, and must have been the actual manager since he decided to speak up. "No, try over by Hyde Park in an Antique Store or online." His voice full of disgusted at the idea of spending money on something you couldn't shoot bullets from on a daily basis. "Oh, ok, but I'd rather see it first," I sighed, "Hyde Park area, ok thanks." I lifted my chin up and aimed myself towards the exit. I hated this, as I walked down the grimy area of Vine Street towards my car thankful that I hadn't washed the grime off anymore, and it was still there with all the windows in tact. Angry thoughts filtered around my head. The scorned woman, because I was the only one involved, right? I seduced them, ha! I was the only one that made the wrong or right choices. I jerked my car door open and gunned it. I pushed my little car hard until I was parked at Mount Airy Forest‎. I needed some fresh air for my head, guilty swam up behind me like a bull shark and before I knew it I had sat down on top of a picnic table and pulled out my little cell. Dialing was hard, saying anything would be harder. "Hi." Sherry said her tone cool with a hint of concern. "Hey, I just got settled in awhile ago." The tension in my voice reeked of the panic I felt. "So you're ok?" She asked. "I've been better." I confessed falling for generic saying since nothing else really fit. "No doubt." She said the word held a world of contempt. I sighed. "Neither of us were completely ignorant about getting involved with him would mean." She snorted. "Maybe I should have known by the way you claimed your distain," I drew out the word for emphasis, "for him that it was bullshit." She sighed and it was a moment before she said anything. "He always slept around on me." I interjected some common sense. "He'll always slept, sleeps around on anyone." "He's an asshole." She replied. "No, he just tries to be everything for everybody." "That makes it sound like you think its ok." "No, it might just mean that maybe I understand...stood." I gave a little frustrated growl. "I didn't ask him for the world, I didn't ask him for anything outside his comfort zone. I didn't want anything out side his comfort zone." I told myself most of that was true. Michael ruled his little world with a cement fist. By that I guess what I meant was, he was loyal to everyone and everything the point of turning it into disloyalty by spreading himself to thin. But it came from the heart even when he was possessive and controlling. Some part of him truly believed that he was doing the right thing. Carine knew what I said and what I meant to say, her agenda had been to fix him. Mine had been to learn as much from him as I could before it all got out of control. That made her mad at me for a lot of different reasons. "He'll never change?" She asked, and wanted me to lie. "Love him the way he is or leave him." I offered as a way to finish that line of discussion. "I love him, but what he's doing isn't health." She complained. I had never been one to be good a being a girly girl. That's what got me in so much trouble to begin with and made me get out, before the going, got even worse. "Carine, if this was a different time or place." I paused. "Well, we'd probably both be dead by now." On the surface she was a practicing Witch but I knew that she practiced and did a more. It takes a strong person to believe what she does makes a difference and it's what made her my friend despite our difference. "We be wife 12 or whore 114, if we were lucky, it's what he is and what he does. Only when you want to change him does he lie and he only does that to try and please you, rather than changing what he's actually doing. If you're dumb enough to ask is this an earthquake, in the middle of a 7.0 it obviously means to him lie to her, because either you'll believe him, and go along for the ride or you won't, and get out of the situation." I sighed, every conversation with Carine devolved into this depressing circle. I told myself that's why I called her, to see what I didn't what to be like, not that I ever was, but I had my own personal glue that I was stuck in and I was trying like hell to move on. So maybe calling her wasn't the best thing I could have done. I sighed yet again. I hated chick stuff. Either I was quite for two long or she heard me sigh, because the next thing she said was terribly honest. "I'll probably go back to him." "Yep." For the first time my attention focused on the area around the table and I silently chastised myself for being so unaware. It was the peak of autumn and I watched the leaves fall to the ground and listened to the wildlife making noise among the drying leaves. "It's really epic." I offered. "I miss you." "No you don't" I told her, yea I know it sounded harsh. I could swear she was thinking about crying. I groaned. "I didn't leave just because of you," That was the honest truth. "There were a lot of other people involved and by the end I just wasn't thinking straight. It was pathological." "You mean dysfunctional." She suggested her tone light and teasing. "No I mean pathological. I did what I did without a lot of remorse, embarrassment or concern for anyone on the outside. It all had a sense of order, each and every choice I made was what I wanted to happen and the only way to stop repeating it was to get around people that don't expect me to do what I did." I didn't want to admit that out loud to anyone, but she need to hear it, again, for her sake as well as mine. "You mean to act normally?" I snorted, "Yea." "Do you think you can do that?" She asked. "No. Maybe I should go to one of those support groups for addicts." I joked. She didn't say anything. "Don't throw stones." I suggested before she could say something stupid. "I was just thinking that wasn't such a bad Idea." "I haven't had sex for three months." I declared, then felt immediately retarded. "Yea, but is really such a good thing?" "Uh?" "If you could just get on with your life you would have at least gone on a date." That made my cockles rise and that surprised me at the same time. So I admitted it, "The thought makes me want to gag." as I felt the bile rise a little more at my own description. "Why?" She asked in almost a whisper. It took me a minute and I had a few false starts. "If I'm not looking back for the answer and only looking forwards, I'm utterly terrified. I don't want someone who's unaware, or less aware than they were." I didn't mean just Michael because it wasn't just Michael I was talking about, and I heard her sigh at the use of the correct pronouns. "The thought of getting to know someone, just to have a 'relationship' with them seeming revolting, they were my friends, mentors; allies, comrades and I loved them all. Anything less just seems to be cheap, wasteful." My words hung in the air. We never talked about the real problem for me before, because in all honestly, in the end, really came down to it, my problems lacked comment, compared to Carine relationship with Michael and her friendship with me. "If I didn't know you Nicky, I'd say you were a total slut and were completely clueless." Her words bit at my soul as they flew like little daggers from the tiny ear piece. "Thanks Carine." I said, biting off a myriad of replies that I could come up with all true and more devastating, but that wasn't why I had called, and it was a game most women seemed to excel at so I let it lay there between us letting, her live with what she had said. The high row maybe, but it didn't make my heart or soul ach any less. I heard her moving around in the background, probably lighting sage. "I have a lot to pay up for don't I?" She finally asked. "That's not for me to decide. I've got my own coming after me." I said, sorrow laced my voice because in my heart believed the truth of it. I had lived through most of the damage my actions had inflicted, but I knew there was more out there waiting. "I guess I'm afraid of that too. Forget that I find everything I'm looking for in the right person and they accept me warts scars and all. I'm afraid of ruining it or they'll ruin it or someone else will ruin it." "Life's all about living, she said, "there's always going to be collateral damage because of it, doesn't mean we're supposed to not try." I heard her exhale and chalked it up to her blowing out sage or incents and maybe she was listening to her own advice. "I heard your voice change when you talked about finding the right person. Have you been doing any affirmations?" "No mom," I sneered. "I don't really feel in the mood to tell myself that I'm this great and wonderful being that deserves great and wonderful things." "That's to bad," she said, "because you do." Dammed it she was going to make me cry. "No, what I want is to find a place to spar. Get a job that doesn't require me to go in 8 to 5 and answer phones all day, yada, yada, yada...God, I'm so defective.". "No, you're world has been tipped on its side and your still sliding down the floor. Go home, write up some affirmations and find a good support group. None of those self pity types please. Then sign up for a dating service that's local to wherever you're hiding out and let's see, join a gym." I laughed for the first time in days. She knew that was as likely to happen as asking a vegan to eat a raw baby seal. "Ok, hold on..." I reached into my small black purse and pulled out a note pad and dug a little farther for a pen. "What'ya doin'?" She queried. "Writing down a list." I replied, crushing the cell phone to my ear with my shoulder, it was awkward, but we have to give up comfort for convince I suppose. "You're serious?" Her voice came out muffled, stupid cell phone, stupid shoulder. "Yea." I murmured as I jotted each thing she had said on a different line and drawing tiny stars at the front of each thing to do. "Got it down." I told her. "You're a complete and utter dork." She replied. "Yes, yes I am." I admitted as I readjusted the phone. "I love you." "I know. Same here." I told her, dammed the tear eye thing again. "I don't know how you seduced all those guys." She said half teasing. "I hardly would have called it seducing and it really wasn't hard." Poop I should have learned to keep my mouth shut by now. Shoot, shoot, shoot. "I don't suppose it was, you probably had to beat them off with a stick." "or two..." I added, trying to change the direction of the conversation. She laughed, knowing my first fetish was Filipino stick fighting, even if she didn't approve of violence, and exactly because of that, it was a good sound to hear. "I'll get over it, someday." She admitted. "I know." I said trying to infuse the words with conviction. "Not everything to come out of this was bad." She insinuated and it took less time for my body to acknowledge what she said than for my conscious mind, and my face flushed so hard it made my eyes water so hard I choked. "Are you ok?" She queried. My breathing and pulse hammered at my skin trying desperately to break fee. I didn't doubt for a moment, that she could hear my poor attempt for emotional control and I was grateful the only other voyeurs were birds, squirrels and maybe a chipmunk. I finally let out a loud whoosh of air, and against all self help suggestion, forced all my swirling emotions down my spine and into my feet and burying them deep in the earth. "Let's avoid that area of discussion for awhile." I whispered, this time the girly tears I hated so much ran down my cheeks and like a good little warrior I made sure if I couldn't stop it from happening I could fake it. So freed, they trickled down my red cheeks, creating burning rivulets that in turned and cold crystalline trails, agitating me even more. "Sorry." She whispered. "That's ok. I have to go, it's getting dark." I informed her. I immediately realized that if she wanted to find me it would have narrowed down my location considerably. And while Carine was that observant, I knew she had no real desire to find me or let anyone in our circle know. "That's good. Take care of yourself and call me after your first date." She said, a smile sounded from the phone. "Ok." I agreed and click the phone closed effectively ending the conversation. I told myself that I had to call her, to let her know that I cared. Yea, that was part of it, but she was also one of the few women in my life that accepted me as a woman. even if I wasn't very feminine. I had broken a trust with her that I didn't even know I was responsible for, staying away from the man she hated more than she loved. In a weird way he meant more to me than he meant to her. Or maybe that was just my ego talking, he was my friend, teacher, boss on occasion, rival, and lover and I accepted each and every flaw like a good friend would, with mild harassment and a good dose of acceptance. But I guess that's why I didn't fight for him either. She wanted to claim him, make him her sun, to love him and dote upon his every problem. A long time ago, I had wanted that with someone else, and when I blew up in my face and broke my heart I turn to someone who could handle my mess. In return we feed the others need for lust and competition. Those things ended up making a terrible combination. Maybe I should join a group, because only a three day drive was keeping me from getting in my car and driving right back to it all. Stupid, I hate all the books, talk shows, movies and more that made alternative life styles look either glamorous or decrepit, because they all forgot the most important thing the individual. I'm not going to be able to ever forget the people. I walked back to my car taking in the small enjoyment of crackling every dry leaf I could find, on my way down the hill and took in a deep breath of nature at one of her finest moments. Heck, nature was always at her finest sometimes I just forgot to pay attention. I made myself a resolution: I'm going to try and walk that narrow line, between what I want and what I need, letting go of the idea that I needed to get everything now and instead let it find me. The skin on my arms crawled, telling me that I probably hit some learning curve. I slowly exhaled one more time, letting all the junk in my head and heart flow out into the twilight. Tomorrow will be a new day, and failing that the next day will be a new day. Life had never thrown me a cure ball quite like the one I was live at the moment, but I hated weakness in other so I shouldn't stand for it in myself. I've been kick by the mule, so what, stand up, brush it off and get back on the darn thing. The amazing thing was all the way back to my tiny apartment above the Law Firm of Myers and Jones, up the stairs and into my brand new tiny twin sized bed, I believed it. I knew falling asleep that in the morning I'd believe it too and that made me smile, even as I drifted off to sleep.