19 comments/ 183700 views/ 26 favorites Nearness of You By: Bob Clark Jr. "Dan, we need to talk." "No. We actually don't." "Please, Danny. I want to apologize. Can I come in?" I didn't say anything and she quietly came in and shut the door. "It's okay to be embarrassed, you know. I would be." "Thank you. That helps a lot. I feel better." "You know what I mean." She sat down on the bed across from my chair. I just kept reading. I repeatedly fell over the same paragraph as I tried to think of something else. "Danny, what you were doing-" "Don't," I said. "Please don't give me the 'Everyone does it. It's part of being a healthy person' routine. I really don't want to hear that. But thanks all the same." "You think this is about the worst thing that could happen, don't you?" "Sandy, what you saw...you saw me jacking-off. Should I explain how that feels?" "Oh, I don't think you need to." She reached in the deep pocket of her robe. She tossed something on the bed next to her. I leaned forward to see what it was. "I know what it's like," she said with a resigned grin. When I could see it clearly, I nearly coughed up a lung in surprise. "Is that a dildo?" I leaned closer and blinked far more than would be considered normal. "Is that a fucking dildo?" "That, little brother, is not just a dildo. That amazing specimen of space-age rubber and plastic is the finest dildo made for under 10 dollars. It also happens to be the one that mom and dad found when they were flipping my mattress. It is also the one that mom gave back to me and told me to make sure I was using lube or I could hurt myself. I was 16. THAT is embarrassment. "I'm just your sister. Imagine if mom and dad both came in here and saw you abusing yourself like a monkey?" "I think I actually feel better." "Of course you do. Nothing helps like the even greater pain of someone else." "You use that thing?" I said, pointing to the blue dildo on my bed. "I used to. I keep it around for anytime I'm feeling down. This helps remind me that things have been worse." "Mom told you to use lube?" "Because other wise I could hurt myself. I think she was trying to be a hip, modern mother." "Dad saw it too?" "He didn't look at me for almost a week without babbling about understanding and wanting me to be free to try new things. Mom said it nearly killed him." "I remember that. Dad had 'the talk' with me four times that week." "So, there you are. Trust me when I say it's no big deal." "What do you use now?" I asked her. I don't know what made me ask her. "Excuse me?" "I, uh-" "You really want to take the conversation there?' "I think the conversation pulled into that parking lot a few minutes ago," I said pointing to the translucent blue dildo. "I guess so. Okay," she agreed. She took a breath and smiled as she huffed it back out through her nose. "I use the bedpost." "You use the what?" I almost screamed. "Keep it down, Danny. I said, I use the bedpost." "Oh, funny," I sneered. "You had me going." I started to read again. "I hope so. It's true. I use the bed post. I like the bottom left post. I can look at my TV from there." I couldn't believe it. "Right," I said. "If you're just going to make fun of me, then we'll stop talking about it." "Whatever you say, Danny." She stood up and took the dildo from the bed, slipping it back into the deep pocket of her robe. "When you're done with the book," she said, "bring it to my room. I want to read it in the morning." "I'm almost done." "Alright. Enjoy." Despite her joke about the bedpost, I did feel better. After hearing about her dildo, having her walk in while I'm jacking off isn't so bad. I suppose it was bound to happen. I put it all out of my head and got back to the book. I finished reading and was about to turn in for the night. I remembered that Sandy wanted it before she went to bed. I checked the clock and saw that it was already past one in the morning. I pulled a robe on and stuck my head out the door. All the lights were off downstairs. Mom and dad had gone to bed. I saw the light on under Sandy's door. I tied the robe and walked across the hall to her door. "Sandy?" I said softly. The light was on, but she may have fallen asleep. She was famous for just dropping off whenever she was tired enough. I knocked lightly and said her name again. "Come in," she said gently. I barely heard her. I opened the door, making just a hint of a squeak on the hinges. I slipped in and nearly swallowed my tongue. Sandy stood, straddling the corner of her bed, facing me and watching the television that was right at my side by the door. Her naked body slowly fucked the corner post of her bed. Her body was shining with sweat. She rose up and slowly lowered herself over and over. Her hands held her large breasts. She was watching the television with rapt attention. The sound was off and I didn't even think to look at it. "Shut...shut the...door," she said between breaths. I did. I never took my eyes off her. She was completely exposed. Her pussy was shaved bare and it was swallowing the slender length of the post. Her hand came down from her left breast and started to rub at her clit. She started to moan and whine. Her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth. I was dumb-struck. I was no stranger to images of women having sex. Nor to the idea of orgasms. I had seen pictures and videos of just about everything. Theory was something in which I was proficient. But to be that close. To be right there, and to have it be my own blood. It was staggering. My mouth just kept opening and closing as I tried to speak. Finally she came. She shook and her eyes opened like she was frightened and happy all at once. She slowly came down from her orgasm. Her breathing came back to normal. Her eyes blinked rapidly as she focused on the room again. She gently pulled her body up off the bedpost. Her pussy was gaping open for a moment. She carefully rubbed her hand along it and stepped around the post to stand in the room. The soft lights made her look amazing. She had an ease with her body that is usually only for the very young or the very old. I was amazed. I watched a bead of sweat drip off one of her nipples. "So," she said. Her breath was still coming in hard bites of air. "I think you believe me now." She smiled and went to open a window. She was still naked and glistening with sweat. "Why - I mean-" I still couldn't get a coherent thought out. Everything was firing at once in my brain. "Because I felt bad, Danny. And because you didn't believe me." She shrugged, making her body do several wonderful things all at once. "And maybe because it was kind of fun." "I don't know what to say, Sandy." "You don't have to say anything." She smiled and moved away from the window, letting the warm summer night fill the room. I started to leave as I set her book down. "You don't have to go," she said. "Sit. Talk with me." "Uh, okay. Sure, I mean." I sat in the twin to the cushioned chair from my room. For the first time I looked to her TV. "Oh, my God," I said. I was watching a movie of a woman I didn't recognize, and my sister's friend, Amanda. Amanda was a sweet, tiny, pretty girl with whom my sister had been best friends since before I could remember. I was watching as she let the woman plunge in and out of her pussy with a crazy looking red strap-on. Suddenly my world felt a little less normal. "She gave a tape to some of us from the old gang. I think I'm the only one she's still friends with." She sat gracefully on the edge of her bed, her legs crossed tightly, cutting off my view of her pussy. Her big breasts jiggled as she laughed. "This is really messing you up, isn't it?" "No! I mean, it's different. But I wouldn't say it's messing me up." I went from looking at her, to looking at the TV to staring straight ahead and not knowing what to look at. "So, understanding that this isn't messing me up, what it this?" "I don't know. You just seemed like you needed to be shaken out of whatever it is that's making you so moody. It's not just me walking in on you today. I thought this might help. And like I said. I kind of wanted to do it." "You're actually comfortable around me like that?" "Yeah. I know you as well as I know anyone, so if I should feel comfortable around anyone, I guess it should be you." I've never had a compliment that made me feel so small before. She had just told me one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to me, and I was staring at her tits. "I've got other tapes if you want to see something different. I have a bunch of DVD's too. Or you can turn it off and we can watch regular television." She smiled again. "Whatever you want." "What's going on Sandy?" "Nothing." "C'mon. Tell me the truth." "Danny, I'm just trying to spend time with you. We won't be living here forever, and I want to spend time with my little brother." "While sitting around naked and watching stroke tapes." "Seems that way." Again, she smiled. That smile was starting to make me jumpy inside. "Go ahead. Pick a tape and we'll watch it. We can talk while we watch. I never use the sound." I reluctantly got up and started looking at the box of tapes she pointed to. They looked like a mish mash of slick, high quality stuff and homemade amateur work. There was one tape that had a photocopied cover, and a masking tape label. "How about this?" I showed her the tape. "Ahh," she said. "Okay. Put it in. I think you'll like that one." She laid back on the bed and turned on her side a bit. My mouth watered at what I was seeing. I quickly put in the tape and went to the chair. The tape was obviously shot on a cheap camcorder. The room it showed was a simple, stripped down motel room. I could see the "in case of fire" sign on the wall. There was a couch; flat, long, and narrow. It was three cushions, a back and four straight legs about six inches high. There was a short, rectangular coffee table and an end table with a lamp about even with the armrest. That was it. For an itchingly silent minute, nothing happened. Then, with nothing to warn me, the tape jumped to the exact same shot, but on the couch was a young couple fucking. They were animals. The wall shook and made roiling shadows on its swirling, stucco surface. Just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. The tape blinked and the screen went blue. I almost looked back at Sandy, but then it started again. Same shot as before. A time stamp flashed blankly in the bottom right corner. The girl from earlier ran around to stand in front of the camera. She kept talking to the camera, but she was naked and covered in paint. Blue, white, red, yellow, green, and swirling combinations of those colors. She reminded me of one of those multi-colored super-balls I used to get at the supermarket. I realized that the volume was up on this. I could hear the hiss of the speaker. It was silent on the tape. I wondered if that was on purpose or if it was just that cheap. The screen went back to the empty room. I sat there, engrossed in the seemingly random scenes. One crazy sex scene after another came up. All with the same young couple. I saw the woman, completely unhampered by paint, costumes, blankets, or darkness. She had a sleeve of tattoos on her right arm that went up around her shoulder, down the side of her back, and down to her hip. I was sitting on the edge of my chair. When the tape was about 30 minutes through, the couple had both of their faces to the camera. It was the first clean shot of the film. I could clearly see each one. He was fucking her from behind and she was grinning and making kissing faces at the camera. "Oh, man. Is that..." It hit me as I was saying it what I was likely watching. "That's right," came Sandy's voice from right next to me. She was kneeling next to my chair. I had completely forgotten she was in the room while I was watching one of the craziest and raunchiest porn tapes ever. "That's Fred and Martha Sykes," I said. "Yup," she said with a laugh. "From the Button Hooks," I said. She handed me one of their CD's. She must have been waiting for me to catch on. There they were on the cover. The same snarling faces and crazy eyes. "I thought they were -" "They are," she said quickly. "He's fucking his sister." "He is," she said. "Where did you get this?" "It's been floating around. Most people think it's fake." "This isn't fake. It's them. I've seen them up close. It's them." "It goes on like this for two hours. It gets really weird towards the end." She reached out and clicked it off. The screen turned to blue and I felt like I had been jolted out of sleep. "What are you doing?" "Let's save the rest of it for later. Come in here tomorrow when mom and dad go to work. We'll watch more of it." She stood up and tossed the remote on hr bed. She was still as naked as could be. "Really?" "Sure. Now get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." I just walked from the room in shock. It was too much. Pick any one of the weird things that had happened in that room. Seeing Sandy fuck her bed; seeing her naked and talking to her while she's naked; watching a porn film of her best friend and then one with a brother and sister fucking; pick any single one of those and it qualifies as the weirdest day of my life. I went back to my room. I saw the light go off in Sandy's room and went down stairs to get something to drink. I moved in a haze. What was she doing? I couldn't figure it out. I will freely admit that I had always had a kind of crush on my sister. But I think in some innocent way, all younger brothers feel that way about their older sisters. She was my model for the kind of girl I wanted. Smart, pretty, and she liked me. That was the kicker. I think you can't really love someone who doesn't feel right about you. Whatever it was, it was always in the back of my mind as a kind of approval thing. But why would she start acting like this all of a sudden? I couldn't figure it. I was halfway back up the stairs before I realized it. I had a bottle of water in one hand and the cap was in my other. I walked quietly into my room and shut the door. I left the light off and crawled into bed. I took a final swig of water and sat the bottle on the night stand. I don't know how long I laid there. I couldn't get her out of my head. I kept repeating the night in my mind. Her breasts were foremost in my thoughts. They were amazing. I was sure they could heal the sick, cure the dying, and give sight to the blind. God help me, it wasn't right. It was wrong. I knew that. It was not the way a boy felt about his sister. I wanted to touch them. So help me, I wanted to touch them. She was my sister, but I wanted to hold them. I wanted to feel her against me. When I was 15, I had a girlfriend. It was a silly summer vacation romance at a family resort, but at that point it was Goddamn Casablanca. She was a local girl whose family owned a fairly prosperous diner in the town. This meant that she didn't have to work more than a couple days a week and she had a few dollars to spend. We would sit in the town's small, long closed drive-in theater and neck. One day, she was eating an ice-cream cone I had bought her. It was melting faster than she could eat it. She tried, but at the end of it, she still had some on her chin and it was running down her neck. She didn't have a napkin and was upset that she was going to ruin her clean shirt. Before I knew what I was doing, I leaned over and licked it from her chin. She giggled. She raised her chin and gave me access to her neck. I licked and ate the running mess from her throat. She made laughing noises as I cleaned her up. I could feel her laughing inside her throat. Her skin was hot and the ice-cream was gone. She kept her head back, not realizing I was done. I kept licking at her skin. I had never realized that something so simple could be so amazing. She tasted so good. We spent the rest of the afternoon just tasting each other. It was more intense than anything we had done with each other all summer. It was what I wanted to do to my sister. I wanted to taste her. I wanted to feel her skin. I wanted to run my hand back and forth over her amazing butt. I wanted to slowly run my fingers along the deep groove between her cheeks. I had to touch every part of her. Her lips, I thought. Oh, God, her lips. I wanted to feel them. I woke the next morning as my parents were running around trying to get out of the house on time. They yelled a couple of 'goodbyes' to me as I came down and then they left. I stood in the kitchen a moment. I listened to the cars pull out of the drive and I thought about getting something to eat. Nothing sounded good. I didn't want food. I went back up stairs and knocked on her door. She didn't answer. I knocked again. Nothing. I opened her door and stuck my head in. She was still asleep. Her legs poked out from her sheets on the side where she had pulled them away in the night. I came in and sat in the chair from the night before. Sandy slept like an angel. No sound, no clumsy, slumber induced movements. She was naked under the sheets. Her breasts were revealed as she turned slowly on her back. I just watched her. She woke up finally. Her eyes blinked and she wiped at her face with her hand. She saw me sitting there and smiled. "Well, you're up early," she said. Her voice was soft and quiet as she came out of her slumber. She sat up, letting the blanket fall from her body to her lap. She made no attempt to hide her nudity, nor did she attempt to hold in her stomach as she sat prettily. Small folds of flesh creased her young belly. I wanted to kiss her so badly just then. "Mom and dad woke me," I stated. "They just left." "What time is it?" she asked in surprise. "Just past seven." "Jesus, Danny. We didn't go to sleep until around two in the morning." "You can go back to sleep if you want. I can wait." "No. It's alright. I'm up, I guess. Sit there a minute," she said. She swung her legs out over her mattress and stretched as she stood up. Her body shook and trembled as her arms reached for the ceiling. She shook herself and walked around the bed. She was an amazing sight. "Let me use the bathroom and I'll be right back." It took everything I had not to reach out and run my hand over her smooth hip as she walked by. She walked out of her room and down the hall to the bathroom. I just sat there. I couldn't focus enough to read a magazine she had on a small table next to the chair arm. The sun was coming into her room in thick, yellow flats of light that stretched over the floor and bed. My head was all a jumble. What was I expecting would happen? Why was I expecting anything would happen? I didn't have time to wonder. "Ready to watch?" she asked. I couldn't speak. I just nodded. She grabbed the remote from the top of the television and came to sit at the foot of the chair. Her body was an amazing collection of curves and smooth, golden flesh. I'd never seen her like this. In less than one day, we had grown closer than ever. At first I thought she was just trying to shock me. But I could see that she really and truly was, entirely comfortable just as she was around her little brother. She clicked the VCR on and hit PLAY. The tape picked up right where she left it the night before. Fred Sykes was pounding away at his sister from behind. I watched for a minute, but my attention wandered. Sandy was leaning against my leg as she watched. Her ear was pressed to the side of my knee, and her hand lay against my foot. Until I let out my breath, I didn't realize I had been holding it. That made me notice the way her breath came regular and warm over my calf. I looked at the screen again. Martha Sykes was riding her brother, facing away from him. Some other guy was standing between Fred's legs as Martha sucked on his dick. Nearness of You "Who's that?" I asked. "I don't know. He shows up on and off. You never get to see his face. They seem to like to perform for him, though." "Why do they do it?" I asked out loud. "I mean, how can they do it?" "Maybe it's not a bad thing. Maybe we just think it is. The world wants to accept all these horrible things that happen. We're supposed to applaud gay couples. We're supposed to think everything is fine as long as no one gets hurt. Maybe this is the same thing." She turned and rested her head on her folded arms which were suddenly on my lap. "Really - what is it? Love? At least with them it's a guy and a girl. You think if they were separated at birth and met years later, that they'd have some inborn understanding to not feel a physical love with each other? "Think about it. Being related doesn't mean you have to love someone, so why should it mean you have to automatically feel just normal family love for someone." She was on a roll and was getting animated. "And if we're talking about fucking, like Fred and Martha Sykes, then what's wrong with that? Hell, animals have all these natural instincts for survival and they fuck their offspring and siblings all the time. "If you can't feel pleasure with someone in your family, that's what's wrong." She shrugged and turned back to the TV. The abrupt stop in her speech was enough to make me realize what she was rationalizing. I kept going back and forth seeing her as my sister, who I loved and had grown up with, and then I would see this amazingly exciting young woman sitting naked with me as we watched porn. "Danny, are you a virgin?" "What?!" "C'mon. I think we should get all that stuff behind us. I want us to be open with each other. I don't have anyone in my life who I can tell anything to. I want that to be you. There's no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed. It's just sex. If we understand that, then we can talk about anything. "Yes," I finally said. What she said made a certain amount of sense. It would be nice to be able to tell her anything. As close as my best friend and I were, there are some things that guys just don't want to share. And a sister is probably the only female who can be both a girl and a pal to talk to at that age. "I'm not." "Really?" "I've only done it twice. Once with a boy from summer camp, and then once with a boy from school." "Who?" I realized that I sounded a little angry. Jealous maybe? "I can't tell you. I know I said we'd be honest, but that's not just for me to say. It was nice and I don't want him to get into this." "That's fair, I suppose." I glanced up a moment to see Martha Sykes kissing a young female fan in a motel room. The girl had a BUTTON HOOKS tattoo on her shoulder. "What have you done?" Sandy asked. She was getting up from the carpet. "Mostly just kissing. Some touching and stuff like that." She smiled at that. "Was it good?" "Yeah," I said thinking back to the first. It was my summer girlfriend from when I was 15. "You're thinking of someone. Who are you thinking of?" she asked as she stood in front of her mirror. She was pulling her long hair into a braid. She barely looked at her hands as they wove the golden hair together. "When we rented that cabin for the summer." "I remember that. You were gone almost all the time." "There was a girl. Shelby. She was amazing." "Tell me about her." She came back and sat in front of the chair. "Was she pretty?" "She made me go cold when she looked at me. I mean, she made everything just stop inside." "Wow." Sandy lit up as she smiled and listened to me tell her about the first girl I loved. I told her about the drive-in and the ice cream. As I finished I saw that her nipples were hard. I was too. My dick made a tent out of my thin robe. "You two never did it?" "No. She was a little scared to go that far. I was happy just to do what we did. It was a headier experience than what would have been a bunch of rushed, awkward fucking." "Oh, totally." She laughed and then noticed my now aching hard-on. "Why don't you take off that robe, Danny? It's just us here. You aren't uncomfortable that I'm naked, are you?" "You know, as we've been talking I think I got used to it." "See," she laughed. "We should be this open to each other all the time. I don't want to be one of those siblings who freaks out when they find out the other one is a real person underneath the brother/sister clothes." I thought about it. And almost immediately I realized she was right. Why not? "Okay. But understand that this may happen for absolutely no reason." I pointed to my hard dick. "It's okay, Danny. Really. I think this is going to be good for us." I swallowed hard and stood up . I undid my robe and let it fall to the chair. I quickly pulled down my shorts and kicked them aside. I sat down and felt my dick lay up along my belly. "Better?" she asked. She kept her eyes on mine. I smiled. "Yeah. It's different, but nice." Her eyes finally dropped to my cock. I was trying to sit with a little consideration for her, but with her sitting right in front, it wasn't easy. "How big is it?" she asked finally. "Jeez, Sandy." "C'mon. I measure my tits, so why can't you measure your dick? I'm sure you have." She grinned and scooted closer. I could feel her breath on my balls. "Please. I'm curious. I know it's big." "I don't know." "Sure you do." She came closer. Her shoulders held my legs apart. However, she hadn't made a move to really do anything. "I think I checked once. I was bored." "I knew it. Tell me. C'mon. My tits are 38c. There. Now you have to tell me." "Uh, 10 inches." I swallowed dryly. For some reason I was embarrassed to tell her. "It was 10 inches." "That's big, isn't it?" She wasn't kidding. She didn't know. "Uh, yeah. I guess. Some guys are tall, I got this." I looked up at the ceiling and took a breath. The video was still playing, but I hadn't been watching. I looked back down. "I don't know why I'm getting so nervous. I don't," I told her. She sat back a bit, her shoulders breaking contact with my thighs. "It's okay, Danny. This is a lot to adjust to. You're used to thinking that I shouldn't know such a simple thing as what your body looks like." "You're really serious about all this, aren't you?" "Yes, Danny." She looked to the TV. "Do you want to watch any more right now?" "No." "Me either." She clicked the VCR off. "Tell me about another girl." "Don't you want a turn at this?" "I want to hear about you right now. We can get to me later." "Okay. There haven't been that many." "That's okay. There will be." She sat Indian-style in front of me. Her hands held her ankles. "I was pretty close to Cameron Richards." "Didn't she live down the street? They just moved last month." "Yeah. Their daughter was my age. We ran around a bit." "Was it serious?" "Kinda." "She didn't want to have sex?" "Her older sister got pregnant when she was 16, and that freaked Cameron out. We almost did it a couple times, but she could never quite do it." "You could have used rubbers." "There was still that chance that it wouldn't work. She just didn't want to end up like her sister." "That's too bad, Danny. She was pretty." "No, it was fine. We did a lot of other stuff." "Oh? Do tell." "Really? You really want to hear about...that?" "For the 100th time, Danny. Yes. Tell." "I think she really liked me you know? Like a kind of...well, not love, but-" "I think I know what you mean. It's almost as good." "Right. Well, we used to sit out in her backyard. They had this small gazebo. It was screened in and just nice. She'd make us something to eat and we'd sit out there and talk. I mean, for hours. Sometimes we'd sit there and just say nothing while we watched the yard. "She'd sit in my lap sometimes. I liked that. Her hair smelled like citrus. I loved how she smelled. I can almost smell it now. Just thinking about it." "You really miss her, don't you?" Her voice was thick with sympathy. "Yeah." "Was it hard when she left?" "Man, I was such a baby about it. You know, for the first time since I was ten, I cried. Not big sobs, but tears and my throat was all tight. It was tough, sis." I finally looked down. Sandy's eyes were glistening. "I didn't know you had any of this going on." "No one did. I didn't want anyone to see me like that. Cameron was a bigger mess than I was. Our goodbye kiss lasted forever. I didn't want to stop. She wouldn't let go. Finally, she had to leave and she ran to her house. The moving trucks pulled out a few minutes after that." Sandy listened to me talk and wiped a tear from her cheek. "I wish you'd come to me. Sometimes it's nice just to have someone to be miserable with." "Maybe." "Tell me something good about her. I want to hear what she was like." I smiled as I thought about her. "When she kissed me, she always wiped the lipstick from my mouth with her thumb." Sandy smiled almost to herself. I think this struck her as doting, or intimate. "Did you guys do anything except kissing?" "Sure." I looked at her sitting there. "How much do you want to know." She just looked at me with this look that told me I'd better stop asking that question. I took a breath and plunged right in. It all came out in a rush. "When we'd sit in the gazebo, I'd slide my hands down her panties and finger her until she came. I had her curled up and put my finger up her butt a couple times. She really liked that one. Sometimes I'd eat her out. She screamed so hard the first time I made her cum that way I thought her parents would hear us for sure. "She gave me blowjobs that made my eyes roll back." I grinned nervously. I wondered if I had gotten too graphic. But once I'd started, I couldn't stop. "Wow. And here I thought you never hand any experience at all." "Don't let me make you think I've been around the block all that much. Cameron and I were just learning. It felt good, and we made each other feel better than we had before, but we were just trying things out." "Hey don't knock it. You've done more of that kind of thing that I have. Sure, I've had sex twice, but the first was just painful, and the second was nice, but that was it. We never did the really intimate things you did." Sandy stood up and went to her dresser. "Let's go out and get some lunch. My treat." "It's only nine." "Well, we can drive around a bit. Maybe go to the mall first. I don't feel like sitting around here all day." She pulled on her underwear, suddenly making me feel incredibly naked. My hard-on had mostly gone away and my dick just hung between my legs, making me self-conscious. "Okay. I'll meet you downstairs." I got up and grabbed my robe and underwear. I went to my room and got dressed. "Well, all set?" she asked as I came downstairs. She was sitting at the kitchen table with her purse. She was wearing a tight red top that showed the amazing curves of her body. She wore a black skirt, simple white tennis shoes and no socks. "I'm ready. Let's go." We spent the morning at the mall, breaking for lunch and then we drove around until finally coming home. Our parents were home by then. The day went normal from there. Dinner, TV, talk, and then mom and dad went to bed. By that point, I had done plenty of thinking about the night before and that morning. I'd like to say that I was rolling right along and that I had everything under control. The truth was, by the time I went to bed, I was a mess. Lust, love, confusion, and a thousand other things were competing for my attention. I was staring off into the darkness when I head the handle turn on my door. It makes two squeaks. It doesn't matter how quiet you try and turn it, it makes two squeaks. I closed my eyes at the sound. I heard the door click softly. I don't know how long after the door clicked that I felt the covers pull back. I was on my side and I still had my eyes closed. I felt the mattress dip down and then a warm body slide along my own body. She had just taken a bath. I could smell the water and the clean scent of her hair as she moved herself into a spooning position. "I want to sleep in here tonight, okay?" she asked in a soft voice. I opened my eyes. She was pulling the sheet back over us. "What about mom and dad?" "They never come up here." She was right. "Okay." "I just want to sleep in here." She pulled my free arm over her shoulders. She was shaking a bit. "Are you cold?" "No," she said. I held her close. "Just hold on tight, okay?" "Yeah. Yeah, I'll hold you." The moon was bright and after a few minutes my eyes could see her in the soft blue light. Her small hand locked fingers with my other hand by the pillow. She had her head on my arm. "Do you want to sleep or do you mind if we talk?" "We can talk." "I don't really know what I'm doing Danny. I'm sorry." She sounded full of her own mixed-up thoughts. "It's okay." "Can we listen to some music?" "Sure. There's a CD in the alarm clock. Hit the button in the front left corner." "What is it?" She reached her arm across the bed. "The one you loaned me. Norah something or other." "I love that one." She hit the button. Music came up soft and half muffled from the simple speaker. "Tell me something." "What?" "Something. It doesn't matter." "Okay." I thought a moment. Her breath came warm through her mouth on my elbow. "I have a scar on my left hand that looks like a crescent." I could feel her hand moving along mine. She pulled it up in the moonlight. She mad a small noise when she saw it and pulled my hand back to her shoulder. We laid there and listened to the CD. She moved some and I couldn't keep my erection down any longer. I didn't try to move away, and she didn't react one way or the other. "It's so hot," she said as my cock grew up along her back. "Maybe it's too big." "What?" "Maybe that's why those girls didn't want to do it. Maybe they thought it was too big." "They would have said." "They didn't want to hurt your feelings." "You think?" "It's only a guess." "You never told me about you." "What do you mean?" "You said you would tell me about you later. Well, it's later." "You don't want to hear about that." She turned around to face me. Her big breasts pressed into my ribs. My cock was flat between her body and mine. She held her hands clutched at her chest. Her head rested just under my chin. "You don't have to if you don't want to, but I'd like to hear it. It doesn't have to be anything you don't want to talk about. Just something." "Okay." She didn't say anything for almost five minutes. "When Amanda brought that video of herself over, we watched it together. She asked me if I'd ever kissed another girl. I told her I hadn't. She asked me if I wanted to try it. I wanted to. We sat in the big chair together in my room and necked for a while." She stopped. "Did you like it?" "I don't know. I mean, I obviously didn't hate it. We sat there for almost half an hour. I even let her feel my boobs. I guess it was nice. I don't think I like girls, but it was nice with her. We never did it again." "Are you sure you did it right. I mean, when I kiss a girl, I can't get enough." She laughed and buried her head in my shoulder. "Let's go to sleep now. I think I just want to sleep." "Sure," I said. I kissed the top of her head. I'm still not sure if it was a brotherly thing to do or something more. I can say that it was meant as nothing more than a gentle kiss goodnight. We slept. I dreamed of being happy. For the first time in my life, I dreamed of simple happiness. I woke the next morning, briefly confused to find a warm body pressed up against me. It was just a moment, however, as I realized where I was and what had happened. Sandy was holding me like a giant stuffed animal as she slept. I watched her sleep for a while. She was so peacefully pretty. I moved my hand down her back and felt the smooth round of her hip. Her breath was slow and hot on my chest. I didn't wake her. I let her sleep soundly. It was still early. Our parents were likely just waking up. The moon was still out. After a few minutes, I fell back asleep. When I woke again it was almost 10 in the morning. Sandy was gone. I felt the mattress. The sheet was still warm where she had been. She had to have just left, I thought. I pulled myself out of the tangled sheet and sat up. My cock was rock hard, just like every morning since I was old enough to call it a cock. It rose up flat against my belly. I thought there was something wrong with me the fist time I woke up that way. One embarrassing chat with my father later, and I was less concerned. Now it was normal. To be honest, I lied to Sandy when I said it was 10 inches. It was actually a bit bigger. But it's also a bit embarrassing. It sounds like a dream come true to think of having a dick that big. But after a while, especially as a young man who has to take gym class, it makes you feel like a freak. "Sandy," I called. "Sandy." She came in from her room. She was wearing a simple yellow sun dress. She smiled when she saw me. "Hey, I was just coming to wake you up. We slept the whole morning away." She came over and sat in my lap. "Thanks for letting me sleep with you last night." "Forget it." "You mean a lot to me, Danny. More than I realized." "Last night you said you really didn't know what you were doing. Is that still true?" "No. I think I've got it all worked out." She leaned over and kissed me. It was gentle and I felt her tongue lick my lip as she broke it. "Tell me something, first." "Anything." She waited as I tried to form the right words. "How long...I mean, is this all just from the last couple days?" "All what?" She stared at me, and I watched myself in her brilliant eyes. "This," I said, moving my hand over her thigh. I brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear and traced the tips of my fingers down her neck and over her shoulder. "All of this. Us. What we're doing. What I think we're doing." "I told you I didn't know what I was doing, Danny. I wanted something that I knew wouldn't happen. I wanted..." "This?" I finished for her. "You're everything I've ever wanted," she said. Her voice was choked and soft. "I didn't know what to..." She just stopped as she shook her head trying to compose herself. I turned her around on my lap. I put her back to me. Her legs parted and hung alongside mine. I pulled her dress up and out from under her butt. I lifted it up and over her head as she raised her arms. She wore small, yellow panties. Her hair was in a braid and I moved it to drape over her shoulder. I did what I had wanted to do since the first night. I put my lips to the side of her neck. My tongue came out and licked around to the back of her neck. She tasted wonderful. My hands were up and holding her big tits. She sighed, parting her legs even more. We rolled back and were on the bed together. My mouth covered hers and our tongues rolled over one another. Her mouth was warm and tasted of milk. "Please, Danny," she whispered. "Make it gentle. Please." I slid down her body a bit. I felt her hands come down and grip my cock. It was the first time she had ever put her hands on it. It pulsed and I tensed a bit. "Oh, God, Danny. It's...be careful, please." She guided the head of my dick to her smooth, plump lips. She was slick already. Even with her readiness I had to go slow. The head pushed in and she gasped. Her arms tightened around me. I pushed slowly. Inch by inch. I moved inside her. Her eyes went wide and she took short breaths. Finally I was in as far as I could go. There was an inch or so still to move. She looked like she was in pain. I slid back a little. The pressure on my cock was indescribable. I kept pulling out. She relaxed some and I slid back in. We did this a few times until she felt comfortable. Nearness of You "Are you okay?" I asked. I moved slowly inside of her. Her legs came up until she was folded nearly in half. "It's so much," she said. "I feel like I'm filling up inside." She smiled then. "It's amazing, Danny. Keep going." We moved with each other. She was beginning to stretch out inside. My cock was disappearing more and more. Soon, our bodies were coming together with each stroke. Her legs bounced as we picked up the pace. Her feet popped in and out of my view. I leaned down and kissed her breasts. They were so full and warm. She made little noises as I sucked at her breasts. I was now pulling almost all the way out and slamming back into her cunt. I felt her fingers dig into the back of my neck. She started to shake and gasp. Her eyes locked on mine. I let go of my control, slammed deep into her and came for what felt like a minute into her body. Her pussy clamped around my pulsing cock and we were lost in a feeling of ecstasy that I had never felt before that moment. She was still in the after-effects of her orgasm. I started fucking her again. I moved in and out of her as fast as I could. Each time, my pelvis ground into hers. She screamed as she cascaded into a second orgasm before the first had finished. Tears came running down her face. Her head cranked back as her body twisted up in what looked like a giant muscle spasm. Her breath came out in a long, choked release. I was still moving inside her, but slowly. Her legs trembled against my sides as she came down from her orgasm. "No...no more. Can't take any...any more..." "We'll just go slow, sis. Slow. I want to feel you. I need to." I waited for her. She nodded as she bit her lip. I moved in a kind of circular motion. She twisted around under my body. I was still hard as a rock inside her. I'd never done this before. I was close to cumming again. She was moaning and her legs were flat to the mattress and spread almost perpendicular to her torso. Her feet nearly touched her ass. Her hands crushed her breasts as she rode another climax through gritted teeth. "Oh, God," I breathed. My cock shot off again and we both collapsed. Her body was on fire. Her breath was burning my skin. We kissed through our exhaustion. I tasted the salt of her tears on her face. I pulled out slowly. She gasped and looked down as I slid out. She put her hand to her red pussy lips. "I don't ever want anyone else, Danny. Never." "Me either. From now on its you and me. I promise." We rolled out of the bed. I helped her walk to the bathroom. Her legs were still shaking. We stood under the shower and let the water soak into our bodies. She liked the way I kissed her forehead. She giggled at how I licked at the slender bridge of her nose. We ended up with me standing in front of her as she leaned back against the rear of the shower wall. The hot water was pounding into my back. Sandy stood there, as though listening to some far away music. I kissed along her shoulder, down her chest and back up her throat. She moved her mouth to meet mine. We kissed slow. The room filled with steam. We eventually got out of the shower. We dried each other off, and she led me into her room. "We'll clean your room up later. Let's just lay in bed for a while." "Whatever you want, sis." She went around and opened her windows. The air was cool that day. Summer was taking a break. The sun filled her room as we climbed in her small bed. "I'm going to tell you about the first time," she said. I waited. This had been difficult for her to tell me, and I didn't want to make her feel rushed. "I told you it was some boy at summer camp." "Right." "A bunch of us had snuck out of our cabins to go skinny dipping at midnight. We were having a ball. Three squealing, laughing, naked girls splashing around in the lake." She sounded happy for a minute. Then her voice dropped flat. I couldn't see her eyes, but her fingers on my arm went slack. "I didn't know that we were meeting three boys from the boys camp. I was the only one who didn't know. They swam over and started splashing around too. I was mortified. I was stark naked and I barely knew two of them. The third was a boy I'd been paired with on some of the camp activities. "The other two swam off with their boys. He stayed with me." Her voice was going into autopilot. I got a sick feeling in my stomach at where this was going. "Anyway," she continued, "he kissed me and then started laughing. I thought we were just playing around. I splashed at him and we played a kind of tag in the water. I could hear the others squealing and moaning out there somewhere. "Jason - that was the boy's name - he was suddenly on me. I didn't see him coming in the dark. I slipped away from him and got up on the dock and was looking for my nightgown. "He climbed up and I saw that he had this silly looking boner. That's all I could think. I'd never seen one before. I just stood there, half bent over as I was looking for my stuff, naked and right in the moonlight. "He said 'Come on.' I remember his exact words. 'We have to hurry.' Then he started kissing me again. I pushed away. He told me to relax. We wouldn't do anything bad. We kissed some more and then we were lying on the dock. A bundle of rope was pressing into my back. "Then I felt it. He had his dick right there at my lips. He shoved in and kissed me to cover the scream." Listening to her, I was shaking I was so angry. I didn't know what to do. She went on. "It hurt a lot. I've heard some girls say it hurt like hell, and some say they barely felt it. I have a feeling they're lying. I was in pain. He jammed in and out of me just a few times before he came. I couldn't believe he came inside me. I never put more than my first knuckle in there, and now I had some guy's cum swimming around inside me. "I started to cry and he kept kissing me. He told me that it was okay. It always hurt the first time. He said maybe we could meet again before camp was over. The stupid jack-ass didn't even know he raped me. I heard his buddies calling him from the water. He kissed me on the chin and hopped up. I heard the water splash as he jumped in. "I grabbed my nightgown, threw it on and ran back to my cabin. I didn't talk to those girls again. I don't get upset about it anymore. He didn't mean it. I guess that's something. I never said no." "You shouldn't have had to. He had eyes. He could have known if he wanted to." I was as angry as I'd ever been. "It's done, Danny. It was just something that happened. I don't wake up in the night thinking about it. Sex doesn't make me think of him. It's just something that happened. That's it." I let the anger go away. She wasn't angry about it, so what right did I have to be? I didn't like that it happened, but she made her decision. "I'm sorry I asked you to tell me that." "I wanted to. This is why we started this whole thing. I've never told anyone about that. I'm glad I can tell you." I kissed her shoulder and she pressed back against my chest. "How do we do this? What about mom and dad?" "I don't know," I told her. "I guess we just act normal. We've always gotten along great. Nothing has to change there. We practically live up here anyway. Mom and dad leave us alone. I think we'll be fine." "I don't want this to be just something we do for now. If that's what this is, let's stop now." "This is for good, sis. We'll deal with the other part of it when it comes." I kissed her, tightened my arms around her and closed me eyes. Soon, she was asleep and I was drifting off, listening to her breathe, and dreaming of happiness. END AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you for taking the time to read "Nearness of You". I would invite you to read my other stories, and as always, feedback is both welcomed and encouraged.