0 comments/ 104159 views/ 4 favorites January By: spiritdog Rain fell in torrents. The intensity of the sideways downpour staining the thin single pane window to a myopic blurr of the ocean in glimpses through trees sent to twisting pivots by the winds. The maelstrom of the west coast weather in late January beating the walls, and unable to penetrate the calm indoors. Sleeping still and lovely on the old pine bed buried under heavy blankets, is Shayla. She is tall, soft in features and her dark brown hair spills about her shoulders over the pillow and her bangs shade her eyes. The covers twirled over her body, she lays curled on her side facing away from the raindrop timpani against the morning window light, as gray as it is. Facing her body more towards the dying light and heat from the small open woodstove. She stirs as the creaking of the iron door hinges strain from too many seasons of use. Jay pokes the embers and lays careful tinder on them, blowing at them until the radiant life regains deep within them and the fire sparks to yellow flames once more. He eases the door closed but the squeaking opens Shayla's eyes. She stretches and lets out that sound, a sigh mixed with the torment of leaving sleep and stiff muscles from a night of passion on a too soft mattress. "Sorry." He hushes to her. She only rolls over and her extended bare arm lays flat against the pillow that was his. "Hmmmm what time is it?" "Nearly seven, go back to sleep." She lay on her back now and stared at the forgotten city of cobwebs joining the cedar rafters together, the engineering spiders long gone to hibernation or where ever spiders go in January. She coughs and yawns, stretches once more as Jay comes to sit on the edge of the bed, gazing down at her squirming form and the mess of blankets. "I'll need help with that sweetie." She blinks, her green eyes smile, and she gestures gently with twitching fingers for him to come to her. He leans down bracing on one elbow and they kiss lightly. Her hand caresses the back of his neck, holding him to their embraces and then she travels over his shoulder, tracing the firm curve of it. She pulls slightly away from his lips, sliding her mouth over his cheek and whispers softly. "What?" Jay sits back up and her hand trails down his torso in a gesture of defeat at his reaction. "I love you." She whispers to him, hoping the storm's heavy metal band noise will drown her voice from the real world out there. Safe in her cocoon with Jay, the fire, the surf and the forest. "You really do? You love me, me...that way?" He stutters and stands, pacing to the fire and back again. His feet freezing on the wooden floor poorly insulated by the savaging the mice have done to the pink insulation under the floorboards. "Jay, sweetie, I do love you. More now than ever...um, I have always loved you, but now." Her voice became shallow and lost. A voice of her little girl inside came out needing reassurance after such a bold announcement. She wanted to be back in daddy's arms. "I have too, but...This trip, our choices so far, it is so fast. Last night here, with you. It was not what I planned to happen. Not what I expected Shay. I mean, I knew we were coming here for a reason, that one! But love?" He talked now more to himself it seemed than directing his mutterings to her. Shayla sat up in bed. Her bare breasts visible to him. Her nipples a burnt sienna tone. She ran her fingers through her hair to straighten it and brushed her bangs from her eyes, and they fell naturally back into place. No matter what she did sitting in bed, the disheveled appearance of a girl made love to several times in the night was clinging to her skin, hair and expression. "You are just saying this because of how you feel now. After what we did together last night. In a week, that will go away and you will hate me." He shouted. "No! no, I love you more now and will never hate you for what you did. What we did. Remember Jay, I asked you to come here with me. I asked you to do that to me. I asked you to take me, to um, to rape me! And you did. I wanted it! It was my fantasy, love. It was the only way I could let it happen between us, and now, well, not Jay it will be easy to let you." "Shay!" he turned to the window and sighed. Shayla got up from the bed and padded over to stand beside him, her hand clasping his and they stood watching the storm beat outside. She squeezed his hand and remembered how it felt to have it on her skin. Her memory fell backwards to the evening before. His hand clasped her wrist hard as they ran from the car to the front door of the cabin his family owned since the 1970's. Then it was one of many small hippie dwellings that were scattered up and down the stretch of shoreline now occupied by hotels and luxury resorts catering to the year-round tourist trade that extended into the winter months exploiting the new phenomenon of storm watching. Jay's cabin was all that remained at the edge of lost times and bordering on the new ones. The rain had begun an hour before arriving and now the southeasterlies had risen to full strength. Inside the cabin Shayla found no power, only a few candles and a wood stove, a bed and shelves lined with books. Bobbles and shells and other orphaned foundlings from the sand and surf in rows on the window sills. The floor creaked from every footstep. The door slammed shut behind her. It was nearly dark and though not near sunset the dirty clouds had made it feel that way. It was a gloom she would remember to the last of her days, as was the slap that stung her cheek. She had not expected that, but it was now part of the game she had begun weeks before. He pushed her to the bed. Shayla immediately stood up and was slapped once more. "Stay there!" he shouted, pointing to her. Her heart trembled and she wondered what she had started, and if she could truly now, in the face of it, go through with it. She sat, her face stinging slightly and fighting a tear that naturally began to form on her eyelash. She tried to swallow hard but her throat was too dry. He lit one candle in the corner and then threw a glare towards her. She could not tell if it was play, or if she was seeing the resentment welling up inside of him. He turned and opened the stove door making it scream and in no time had a small fire brewing. He slid the vent open and closed the creaking iron door shut with a clang, then turned to her. He stood and walked to the bed. He grabbed her by the hair that was almost too short to gather in his fist and tugged her to her feet. She stood in front of him and his hand raised again to strike her, beating fear into her soul without laying a finger on her. She started to cry, sobbing low and softly. His heart broke and all he wanted was for this to stop. "Shaya!" he said loudly over the din of the storm. "No! jay, please, don't...don't hurt me. I, I'll do anything you want...don't hurt me, please!" she begged. His hand came down but not in anger but instead stripped her of her sweater and bra. He made fast work of making her venerable. He shoved her down on the bed and dropped his pants and covered her straining and trembling body. He kissed her firmly, taking her breath away at first. His kisses hurt her and she squirmed under him wanting to breathe. She beat at his shoulders with her fists but he ignored her struggling. Kissing her face, lips and neck, biting her and she felt the life seeping from her. Was this what it was really like, she thought to herself as his hand grabbed at her hair and pulled it hard, forcing her head back so he could devour her throat. He fondled her breasts and roughly pinched her nipples, pulling them and twisting his fingers around them until she cried out. "You're going to remember this!" he said to her. "Ummmmm...." She sobbed. He got off her and in a moment was strapping her hands to the edges of the bed frame with soft ropes. "Stop fighting me Shay, or I will have to fucking kill you afterwards." He said coldly. This didn't deter her from struggling harder and again she felt the backhanded sting on her face. This time it really did hurt. "Nooooo." She sobbed. He took the knife from the dresser and came to her. She wiggled in the ties but trapped and she knew it was time for the real game to begin. 'Oh my god it really is happening!' He let the back of the blade glide down her belly and then in a flick, the blade's edge slit the elastic of her white panties and she was exposed to him. His cock hung before her and though she had seen him naked before, this time it seemed different. It seemed foreign. He pressed the tip to her pussy. It was not wet, nor ready for him, not even from the deep kissing that was always her 'on' button. He hovered over her. Stroking himself, and taking her in. Looking down over her body, her lovely form in the dim light. Her dark hair disappearing in the darkness of the pillows and the sounds of her whimpers. "Please...stop...don't." Shaya said without much more conviction as though she was saying pass the salt. She tried to close her legs but his body kept them open and he lifted her thighs up and back. He entered her, only by and inch and she screamed, then he pushed all the way into her. Forcing himself on her and he tried to ignore her cries and the obvious tears now falling. She stopped complaining, the pain softened and it was more like being taken by a glorious lover than a rape. She wondered if all women felt this way when it was too late to change anything. Her fate to be enslaved and used a foregone conclusion now and she felt a twinge of guilt for allowing this to feel good. He moved in and out of her slowly then faster to the point that her body rocked. He took her hard as he possibly could. The rage and the passion of the previous weeks and the realizations that they both discovered to be, were true now, and there was no avoiding them. He could no longer think straight. He was fucking a beautiful woman and all his senses now gathered to that task. He pulled from her and straddled her body. His cock hanging wet and musky in front of her face. "Suck my cock and taste yourself on it!" She shuddered as the tip caressed her chin. "Do it right and if I cum I might let you go." He leaned in and forced it into her mouth deeply. She gagged on it, his hands pulled her head upwards, and he fucked her mouth slowly until he exploded and held her to him until he was done. Then dropped her head to the pillow and stood up. He walked to the window, stood for a long time, and then replenished the fire before returning to the bedside and the now silent women tied to it. He lay on her again. Holding his body over hers and once more, entered her with a fully erect cock. He was hard on her this time as with the first time, pumping her relentlessly. Shaya lay silent. Reluctant to cry anymore, resisting nothing and lost in the pitiful and guilty pleasure of being so totally used and abused by someone she had known all of her life. This time he groaned and came inside her. It was the first time and not the last time this would ever happen. She was his now, marked deeply by him. "Jay, I don't need to be tied anymore...please. Take them off." She begged and after he recovered, he set about to releasing her wrists from the ropes. She tossed her arms around him and asked to be taken again in the mouth. After a long time of kissing each other, he stood and moved her so her head dangled over the edge of the bed and clasping her breasts he thrust his cock into her lips. He was rough with her tits again and wanted her to cum just from the abuse of her nipples and her throat. It didn't take too long for him to release. In an exhausted state they lay together, knowing the path they traveled was now complete. At least for now, they slept. Shaya let go of Jay's hand and turned to him. The rain streamed down the roofline and plip-plopped in the trough the downpour had cut in the muddy earth causing a miniature moat to form. "I do love you. You are so much more to me now than just my little brother. You are my lover and my friend and I want you to take me again, please." January 17th I want to thank Wolf Vixen for her help in making this one of my best stories yet. So sit back with a cold beverage, read it and tell me what you think. But remember one thing, it's only a story. * January 17th. On January 17th, about two months before my 18th birthday I became a man. Well I had sex for the first time with my girl friend of four months, Robin. We were parking after going to a movie and were in the back seat of my dad's Ford Galaxy 500 station wagon when it happened. I went from first to second base and ended up sliding into home before Robin and I realized what we'd done, without any protection. "Oh shit. You were supposed to pull out," she yelled at me. "I'm sorry Robin. It just happened so fast, I couldn't stop it," I said trying to explain myself. "David I'm not on the pill and I haven't a clue where I am in my cycle," she replied. "Well I did pull out, but I was just a little late. Maybe we lucked out?" I said. But we didn't. After missing her period for two months, Robin and I now realized we were in big trouble. We sat in the food court at the mall and talked about how we were going to get out of this one. We were both seniors and in three months we would be graduating. Then what? "My dad's going to kill you and then me," she told me almost crying. "I've got a full scholarship to State and dad's already paid my first semesters dorm fee. "You can still go. You'll just start showing, no one will know," I said as upbeat as I could considering the circumstances. "Yeah then what? What happens after the baby's born? How am I going to manage after that David?" she asked. "First things first, as much as I hate the idea we are going to have to tell our parents." I suggest we tell mine first and get their reaction. "My dad's not going to kill me in front of you, especially with my mom there," I told Robin. "Maybe they'll have some ideas on how we can tell you parents with out making it sound so bad." "David, it's going to be bad no matter how we say it. They've had big plans for me ever since I was in grade school. The last thing in the world they'd expect from me is ending up pregnant." "I don't know how many times I can say this, I'm so sorry Robin. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think we'd be in a mess like this. Just so you know, I'm not going anywhere. We did this together and we'll solve this together. Ok?" "So you're saying when our parents kill both of us, we're going to be buried together like Romeo and Juliet?" she said with a little laugh. "That makes me feel so much better," she said punching me in my arm. "Come on, let's just do this and get it over with." I played everything I was going to say over and over in my head. Both parents were strict Catholics and although my parents weren't poor, they weren't nearly as well off as Robins. You see Robin was an only child and her parent's world revolved around her. She was ranked third in our class and although she looked like a geek with her big round glasses and long straight hair that hid most of her face, I really liked her. That's not to say I was a jock or anything close. At 5'10" and 155 pounds I was far from it. However her parents did like it when we started dating. Robin was now always in a good mood because she finally had her first real boyfriend. "Robin has a curfew of 11:00 David. Not 11:01 but 11:00 sharp. Do I make myself clear?" "Yes sir," I replied. After that exchange I made sure she was home early every night. "No use pissing off her dad," I thought. Well not until today anyway. "What?" My mom shouted as we told them in our living room as Robin and I sat on the couch holding each other's hands for support. "I'm sorry Mrs. Ward to drop this on you but we figured it isn't going away and it was time to get it out in the open. Robin told Ann, my mother. "Do your parents know yet?" "That's our next stop," she replied. My dad said nothing as Robin and my mom went back and forth talking about what she could expect with her first child. They then started to make a list including doctor visits, clothing and the furniture we would need. When my dad finally spoke it wasn't sugar coated and right to the point. "You two did something really stupid that's going to change both your lives and the lives of your families significantly from this day forward. Robin, I know your dad pretty well. He's going to be damn angry but more hurt than anything else. So instead of you two making lists and plans, first things first. We all need to get over to Robin's house tonight and try to figure out what the hell were going to do starting tomorrow. That said my dad called Robin's parents and we all headed out to her house. I held tightly onto Robin's hand telling her no matter what, I was in it for the long haul. Robin's father, Ken blew a gasket and had to be physically calmed down by his wife Beth. That took all of a half hour. When everyone had settled down and the crying stopped we all sat around their kitchen table and started to really talk and make plans. "They need to get married right away," Ken said looking at my parents. "And I don't want to hear the word abortion. Understood? I won't have a bastard for a grandchild," he said looking at me. "I still want Robin to go to college and I think that between the five of us we can take care of the baby sitting to make that happen." He gave me the evil eye all night and I guess I couldn't blame him. I'd screwed up his perfect plans for his daughter, but he wasn't giving up on her. This was just a bump in the road he told her. A damn big bump but a bump just the same. "Ken I've got that mother apartment above the garage and they can stay there until they get their feet on the ground. We'll have to put in heat of some kind but with David's help it shouldn't take more than a week or two." Ann and Beth said they would contact the church and get the first open date for the wedding. It was only going to be the immediate family but it needed to be done as soon as possible. There was both a wedding and baby shower to organize and the women started talking a mile a minute and making notes of what had to be done. My dad, Ken and I went out onto their back deck. "Sorry about my out burst but this took me by surprise as you can imagine. I never would have imagined that Robin was sexually active and that the two of you weren't taking any precautions," Ken said as he looked directly at me. "Mr. Thomas, we only did it one time and it was all my fault," I told him hoping he'd ease up on Robin. "That maybe true, but it takes two to tango and make a baby. I'm just disappointed in the two of you that's all. You two are going to need each other more than you can imagine from now on. And as God as my witness, you hurt or mistreat her in any way you'll have to answer to me." "And me also," my dad piped in. "I care for Robin deeply and I know I can make her happy." So it all began. '******************************* The wedding was pretty small. Only immediate family and a few friends were invited. Everyone knew why we were getting married and we were the brunt of more than a few jokes at school, but that only lasted until we got married. We setup house in the apartment over our garage and furnished it with hand me downs and garage sale furniture. Her parents bought us a crib and mine a changing table and dresser. It was all coming together. Our wedding night was kind of awkward. True we'd done it, but I'd never seen Robin totally nude before. It was like we were virgins all over again. We were just two wide-eyed teenagers who knew squat. But I was more than willing to learn. For her wedding shower she'd been given a few slutty outfits by her girl friends but she was more than a little uncomfortable wearing them. "Honey, wear what you want. It's all just window dressing on you anyway," I told her. My parents had slipped us a bottle of champagne for tonight and I knew I'd probably need it by the end of the night. Robin came out of the bathroom in a pink Tinker Bell long sleeve tee shirt, her hair down on her shoulders and looking hot, to me anyway. She was now my wife and that made my heart beat a lot faster. She walked from the floor right onto the waterbed and fell forward onto her knees with splash and a smile. I thought the waves would knock me off the bed as I reached for her. We made love three times that night. Well let me rephrase that. We had quick sex, better sex and then made love. The first time I'd barely got inside of her before I was finished. I apologized and got Robin off with my fingers and some KY gel. The second time I lasted a hell of a lot longer and even got her off without too much effort. The third time was the best. We took a shower together, cleaning ourselves off from the previous sessions, and took our time this time. Neither one of us had done any oral so we just experimented doing it. Robin liked when I used my tongue on her clit and her pussy. It didn't taste anything like I thought it would and I was kind of proud of myself that I could get her off that way. Robin attempted to give me a blowjob and got frustrated when I told her she was removing the top layer of skin with her teeth. "Relax hon," I told her. "We've got the rest of our lives to get it right. For now just tell me what rings your chimes and I'll do that. Just being here with you does it for me," I told her. We just kissed for the next forty-five minutes and held each other without putting any pressure on each other. We tried the champagne and found neither of us liked it, but it did make us feel a little grown up drinking it. Robin got buzzed and even did a strip tease for me later that night before we fell asleep in each other's arms. "Good morning Mrs. Ward," I said kissing her as I watched her start to wake up opening one eye. "Good morning Mr. Ward," she replied. "I really like the sound of that," she said kissing me. "My love, what do you want to do today?" We made love for the next hour and a half. "Ok, let me ask this again. What do you want to do today?" Robin said with a laugh as she held me at bay. We were now both laughing and rolled around on the bed tickling one another before finally getting up. We did some shopping and started planning for our future. We wrote down how much money we had, the monthly expenses we'd have to pay for and finally a menu of dinners. I didn't have a clue what she liked to eat but she was lucky because like every other teenage boy, I'd eat almost anything. However, being in a motherly way she had to stay away from some items and needed more of others. We hadn't a clue about a lot of things but with the help of our parents we learned. We grew up a lot over the next six months and became inseperatable. What had started out as lust had grown into a hot burning love. She graduated with honors and a full scholarship and let's just say I graduated and leave it at that. Through my dad, I got a job with a construction company that did both inside and outside renovations. In this way, I was guaranteed year round work because in Minnesota, outside construction shuts down by the end of October. The pay was pretty good and I took every bit of overtime they offered. My dad had words with me one Saturday afternoon as my friends and I looked at the new custom car magazine. "As soon as I get enough money I'm going to get a set of chrome rims," I told my buddies as we compared notes. After an hour or so, they left and my dad came back. "Do you know the difference between me, we and she?" he asked as I kind of looked at him with this blank look on my face. "ME, is what you use to be before you got married. SHE is your wife and WE is what the three of you will be after the baby is born. You see the sooner you learn the facts of married life the better off you'll be." "But dad, I'm working and every things seems to be going pretty good right now," I tried to tell him. "Chrome rims are what, $2,000.00? That's a couple months of rent and utilities. Or more importantly, clothing, formula and doctors visits for the new baby. You have to set your priorities. Your wife come first and then after the baby is born, it's the baby, your wife and lastly you. Your job is to take care of your family, no matter what sacrifices you have to make. I know your still a kid at heart and want all the things your friends are getting. But you're married with a kid on the way and your fun and games are over for a while but not forever. Be strong, do what ever you have to and you'll never regret it," he told me and I believed him. How did I know life wasn't that simple? Robin registered for school, bought her books and was really looking forward to Fall Quarter. Money was a little tight, but with my overtime we always seem to skate by every month. Then the unthinkable happened. It was Saturday July 24th. We went to the beach with a bunch of our friends for the day. Robin was wearing her yellow two-piece suit and was now showing more than a little. As she lay on her towel I thought about how happy we were and was looking forward to our addition. The guys started a volleyball game while the girls watched from the sidelines. A couple of the guys were showing off when someone spiked the ball. Two guys missed the ball and it hit Robin right in the belly. She went down hard and everyone rushed over to her. "I'm ok. No harm done," she said picking herself up. "You ok hon?" I asked. "I'm fine. Finish your game and at least try to win will you? I don't want our son to see his father lose to a bunch of wimps," she said with a laugh and a kiss. We lost anyway. Robin and I left about 5:00 and headed for home. I didn't want her to get overly tired after a long day at the beach. After all, she was sleeping for two. We had a light dinner, watched a movie on cable and called it a night. At 2:00 am Robin woke up in pain. When she noticed that she was spotting we headed over to the hospital emergency room. She was still in a lot of pain and for once they rushed her through instead of making us wait like they usually did. I stayed with her until the doctor came in the room and said he needed to do a bunch of tests and didn't need a worrying husband under foot. "Go get yourself something to eat. We should be done in about an hour," the doctor told me. "You hear the doctor, let him do the tests I'll be fine," Robin said to me. I kissed her and went out to get some coffee. One hour, two hours, three hours. "What the heck is going on?" I asked one of the nurses." It wasn't until the doctor came out to the waiting room that I got some answers. "Doc can I take her home yet?" I asked. "We did everything we could to save the baby," he told me. "I'm sorry doc, you must have me mixed up with someone else. My wife is Robin," I explained to him. "I'm so sorry Mr. Ward. She started hemorrhaging and we ran into other complications but your wife is now fine and resting in her room." "Doc, what are you saying? What's wrong our baby?" "I'm sorry son, the baby's gone." "Oh my God. Oh my God," I kept saying as I fell to my knees crying. "Your wife is sedated and doesn't know yet," he told me. "There are other issues we'll need to talk about, but we can do that later," he told me. "Can I see her?" I asked. I sat in her room while she slept. How in the hell was I going to tell her our baby was gone? I knew I should have taken her to the doctor right after she was hit by the volleyball and I was kicking myself for not doing that. I didn't call her parents or mine. I just sat there holding her hand with tears in my eyes playing over in my mind what I was going to say when she woke up. I was asleep with my head on her bed when I felt someone stroking my hair. "Hey honey, how are you feeling?" I asked. "Much better now. What time is it?" "About 3:30 in the morning. Why don't you get some more sleep," I said touching the side of her face with my hand. "You've been crying," she said looking at me as I kissed her hand. "Don't worry David, I'm fine. When can I get out of here and go home?" she asked. "The doctor will be in to see you in a couple of hours, and we'll probably know then. Just try and rest until then," I told her. The sedative had almost worn off and when she shifted on the bed to try and sit up her eyes got real big. Both hands went to her stomach and then she looked at me. "What's wrong with my baby?" she screamed. I started to tear up and held her hands in mine as I now sat on the edge of the bed. "Hon, the doctors said they did everything they could but they couldn't save him," I said reaching for her. "NO! Oh my God no!" she screamed collapsing into my arms crying uncontrollably. The nurse rushed into our room and I waved her away as we stayed that way for the next two hours. "It's not fair. It's just not fair," she kept saying over and over as we hung onto each other for support. "God is punishing us for what we did." "Don't say that hon, it was a freak accident that's all. We can have another. We can have ten more if you want," I said trying to lighten her spirits but it wasn't working. "Do my parents know yet?" "No, I haven't had the chance to call anyone yet," I told her. "Don't do it today. Ok? I'm just not up to it right now," she said lying back on the pillow. "I'm so sorry David." "It wasn't yours or anyone else's fault. I have you that's all that matters," I said to her. "As I've always told you, I'll be there for you no matter what. You have to believe that." "I know, that's why I love you so much." Robin drifted off to sleep and stayed that way for the next four hours. The final blow hit when the doctor came into our room the next morning. He tried to explain in laymen terms what exactly happened to the baby and why. Robin was feeling a little bit better and asked when she could go home. "I'd like to keep you for a day or two more just to be on the safe side. You lost a lot of blood and because of the other complications I'd just like to watch you for a few more days," he told us. "What other complications?" Robin asked. "There was other damage and we had to do a few more procedures after we took care of the baby. We repaired the damage but there's a chance that you may not be able to get pregnant in the future. I'm sorry to have to tell you this after all you've been through. We won't know for sure for a while but I felt you should know," he told the two of us. We were both stunned beyond belief. We just sat there looking at one another. The doctor apologized again and left us alone. Robin started to cry. "He didn't say for sure hon. He said that there's only a chance you won't be able to," but my words fell on deaf ears. For the next two days Robin was in a daze. I called our parents and gave them the bad news and told them to give us twenty-four hours to get it together. Both parents showed up the next morning and everyone cried. We didn't mention about Robin not being able to have any more babies because it wasn't for sure and we'd given them enough bad news for one day. I took Robin home on Tuesday and did everything I could think of to help her. "You're trying too hard David. I'm not broken just a little damaged. Go to work tomorrow, you can't afford to lose your job. If I need anything, your mom's right here and I know my mom won't be leaving me alone for a while." No one was expecting me back at work Wednesday but understood I needed to get my mind off my troubles. They worked the hell out of me for the rest of the week and I felt a little better but only a little. We survived and life went on. I worked and Robin went to school. Her goal was premed and without a baby in our immediate future she was driven to get straight A's. We talked about another baby but decided to put it on the back burner for right now. January 17th I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed but I helped her wherever I could. I learned bones, nerves, muscles and all the different parts of the body. We went over and over them day after day, night after night until Robin could recite them in her sleep. I refused to let her even think about getting a part time job. I told her that her schoolwork was her job and not to worry about anything but that. So I worked and worked some more to pay for everything. By the middle of her junior year she was well on her way. She had straight A's and was second in her class. "Who's number one?" I asked her one night. "I think I'll put a contract out on him or her," I said with a laugh. But she didn't laugh. She didn't laugh a lot anymore. Our life was now a lot more serious and even our love life suffered. We never did it on whim anymore and she seemed to be withdrawing from me at times. I'd mention that we hadn't been close in a while but she'd just say it was because of the stress she was under. I knew she wasn't fooling around on me. Hell she didn't give herself time to breathe much less finding another lover. It was the end of January and the forecast called for ten to twelve inches of snow and a deep freeze to follow. I stopped at the store and stocked up. Beer, Ripple wine, M & M's, eggs, bread, Bisquick and a bunch of B Movies. Our apartment had heat but it still got cold at night. The wind blew. The snow fell, and the temperature dropped to twenty-two below zero. It was cold in our apartment and even though my parents asked us to come into the house we said we'd be ok. I threw another quilt on the bed and we started watching a movie. A bottle of wine, some M & M's and we hunkered down together for the night. "I'm sorry David," Robin said out of the blue. "Sorry for what?" I replied. "For everything. We haven't been close for a while and I feel I've been using you and I'm sorry." "You haven't been using me, I love you. You're doing well in school and have a bright future. We can always have kids down the road," I told her. "I think we should be practicing a lot more though," she said taking off her top and throwing it on the floor along with the rest of her clothes as she looked at me. "Starting tonight that all changes." That was the best weekend of my life. The only time we left the bed was to get cleaned up or to do a food run to the kitchen. I ate her until she cried enough and we screwed until we both couldn't do it anymore. For the first time in a long time we talked about what happened and our life together. I didn't want the weekend to end. I was more in love with her at that moment than I'd ever been. We made plans and plotted out where we wanted to be in five years. What's that saying? Men plan and God laughs. Well it must have been a big joke to him, because our plans never came true. I didn't care much for her classmates. They all thought they were better than anyone else. There was a group of fourteen students that Robin hung with and there wasn't a one in the group I cared for. They had parties and get togethers and even though the girl/boyfriends were invited they didn't make it fun for them. They were a click and no one; I mean no one was going to break into the group. There was a BBQ at one of the group's house on Saturday night. It was the usual affair and for once I was the only outsider and the night really dragged on. They talked shop and argued about this procedure or that and I was bored stiff. We were there almost four hours but it felt like twenty. There wasn't even a television to watch. We didn't have words; I just mentioned that in the future I thought I'd pass on any future get togethers. "You don't like my friends?" she asked. "It's not that, it's just that when you're all talking shop I've got nothing to do. You're talking so far over my head there's nothing I can add. Babes you'd probably have a lot more fun without me anyway." "You're not dumb David. It's just that you're good at other things. That's all. If you feel uncomfortable we won't go any more," Robin told me. "No you go. They're your friends and classmates. You should go," I told her. And she did, without me, from that day forth. I worked overtime on those days and saved enough to get her a few extras we normally couldn't afford. For her birthday I got her a more dependable car and an upgraded her computer. "You're way too good to me," Robin said to me that night. "I don't know where I'd be or what I'd do without you," she said kissing me. Sex was great that night. It wasn't love making because she had a test to study for so it was a slam bam thank you mam type of session. She did great as always on her exam and she did make it up to me the following weekend. The first time I heard it from one of her friends I let it slide. I was only after the twentieth or thirtieth time I started to paid attention to it, especially when I noticed Robin's attitude towards me start to change. One night at a party I heard a conversation that changed my life and not for the better. "What are you going to do with David when you start medical school in the fall?" one of her supposed friends asked. "You'll be going to school all day and studying all night. There will be no time for anything else. You know he's just going to hold you back Robin," they told her. "I heard that you've been accepted to that school in New York, does David know?" "No I haven't told him yet," she told them. "What is he going to do there? I don't think there's too many contracting jobs there," one of the guys said in a sarcastic voice. "We'll manage like we always do," she replied but she didn't sound too convincing. "I wondered when she planned on telling me," I thought to myself. "I've been accepted to Taft Medical School in New York," she told me Saturday night over dinner. "If I can maintain my grades I'll get almost a full scholarship," she said beaming. "Well I guess we'll have to buckle down even more this last semester," I told her trying to sound optimistic. "Will you be boarding in the dorm or are you going to get an apartment with some of your friends?" I asked taking her by surprise. "We'll probably have an extra $5000.00 by the time you leave. That should be enough money for fees and books to get you through the first two semesters anyway." "You don't want to come with me?" she asked. "What am I going to do in New York especially with you going to school full time. Remember we agreed that school was your job until you were done? Well, you're not done yet so we'll just have to put off everything a little while longer," I told her. "I love you so much," she said kissing me. "I hear you say that to all the contractors you go to bed with," I told her trying to laugh even though my gut was doing flip-flops. It went good for a while and then the frequency of the calls became less and less. The e-mails all but stopped but I was optimistic. I think Robin tried. I think she really did, but everything was being stacked against us. I made sure I saw her every semester but with the bills and everything else it was tough. What really concerned me, was Robin was changing and pulling away from me. When I didn't hear from Robin for almost three weeks I got on a plane. Something just wasn't right. I went to her apartment and then tracked her down to a party one of her classmates was throwing. I told the guy at the door I was looking for Robin and he said she was somewhere near the kitchen. I found her or should I say them. Robin and another guy were trading tongues in a corner. The guy had his hands under her shirt and was almost between her legs. I wanted to go over there and rip the guy off her by his hair but now realized why Robin wasn't calling any more. My heart stopped, my feet wouldn't work and I just wanted to cry, but I didn't. One cell phone picture and I was out of there. It was a lonely trip back to Minneapolis. I wanted to cry, scream, put my fist through a wall or beat the hell out of someone, maybe all of the above. She had pulled back and had changed to the point where I just didn't know her anymore. I had been the person who didn't pull out in time, got her pregnant and should have been the one to insist that we went to the hospital right away. Because of that she'd gone through hell losing the baby and wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to have kids. I felt responsible for everything bad that had happened to us, but I was tired and I just didn't have it inside me anymore. I couldn't go on like there was nothing wrong and from what I'd seen, if I hadn't been replaced yet I soon would be. I filed the standard boilerplate divorce papers. Minnesota was a no fault state so I didn't even need her to sign the papers. I didn't tell either parents I just went ahead and did it. When Robin was served she must have called me a dozen times. When she e-mailed me asking if I'd lost it, I just replied with the cell phone picture and asked when I'd been replaced. She said I hadn't but at this point it no longer made a difference. Both parents thought I'd gone off the deep end because I never gave them the real reason. I just said we'd grown apart and it was time for both of us to move on. Her parents lambasted me saying that I'd almost screwed up Robin's life and it was about time she got rid of me. I never liked them. My dad wanted to know the real reason and wouldn't let me off the hook until I showed him the picture. He still said I was a damn fool and that picture didn't mean squat but I was a big boy and could make my own decisions. The only thing I knew was I had to leave and get as far away as I could. I ended up in Florida. '****************** Robin was nervous as she knocked on the door. "I need to talk to David, and he's not in our apartment or at work," she told my dad. "Robin he's not here." "Do you know when he'll be back?" she asked. "Robin why in the hell are you here anyway? Are you short of money? What do you need this time?" he said in a now belligerent tone. "I just need to talk to David, that all," she now said in a concerned tone. "He's gone and not coming back. After he didn't hear from you, he flew up there to see you. He showed me the picture after I asked him why he was leaving all of a sudden." "I want to explain to him. It's not what it looked like. I still love him and don't want a divorce. He's got to understand that," she said tearing up. "He loved you so much Robin but he felt like you and your friends looked down on him for what he did for a living. Hell girl, he worked two jobs so you could go to school and not have to worry about where the money would come from but I guess that wasn't good enough for you. So what did you do? You never answered his calls, e-mails and when he finally found you, you were in the arms of another man. Do you have any idea how much that hurt him?" "I didn't do anything with that guy and I sure as heck didn't sleep with him," she said now crying. "Did you know that we cancelled our membership to the Elks Lodge? You dad was spewing his venom about how my loser son got his daughter pregnant and then divorced her. And how his baby girl was doing so well in medical school and was better off without a low life like David. Robin please just leave. The way I look at it, you used and took everything you could get out of my son and then dumped him for one of your college friends. You know the final irony? When he got back, he sold off everything that the two of you had and transferred every dime of that money and everything else he had in the world to your account. He left here with $125.00 in his pocket and my gas credit card in his wallet. Right now looking at you makes me sick. I hope you're happy and it was all worth it to you," he said shutting the door. Robin now saw David's mom in the window mouthing the words, "call me,' before she left. When Robin walked into her parent's house she had steam coming out of her ears. "How's my little girl?" her father said as he came up to give his daughter a hug. He never saw the slap coming but sure felt the sting on his cheek. "What the hell did you do?" she asked. "What do you mean?" Ken replied. "I just came from the Ward's house and was literally asked to leave. What have you been saying about David to everyone?" she shouted. "Just that he got you pregnant and dumped you when you were in school. That's all. He never was good enough for you baby, you should be happy he's gone." "I want you to listen and listen good. The only reason David left was he found me in the arms of another man. You hear that dad? I was the one screwing around on him. He was back here working two jobs so I could go to school and not worry about the money. Do you know that he either called or e-mailed me every day? I got annoyed and some times I didn't get back to him for almost a whole week. I guess I couldn't be bothered. After all, I was this hotshot girl in medical school who was living a new an exciting life in New York. How could David understand that I now thought I was even better than him?" I told my parents. "But baby you must have been very busy with school and everything," my dad started to say. "Too busy for my own husband? A husband who stuck by me through all the hard times we had. A husband who could have dumped me after we lost the baby and found out I might not be able to have kids in the future. Did he do that? No! He was the one who worked with me every night on my homework and pushed me to do get every A I got. David loved me enough to support me in my dream of becoming a doctor and if it took him working two jobs to make that happen; so be it. And how did your loving daughter repay his love? I spit in his face," I said sitting in a chair now crying as my two stunned parents looked on. "God damn I miss him. I now realize how much I really loved him and I can't tell him because he left because of me. But there is something you're going to do dad if you ever want to see me again. You will get your ass to the Elks Lodge and tell them you were wrong about David and that your precious daughter was the one that fucked up. And then I want you on your hands and knees begging David's parent for forgiveness, you got that?" And Ken did exactly that. He ate crow and told everyone he had been talking out his ass and that David really was one hell of a husband and that Robin was lucky to have him. But David was gone. Robin did call his mother like she'd requested. "David's hurting really bad and doesn't want to talk to you. He said to tell you he wishes you the best and that maybe if things had been a little different you two might have made it. Sorry Robin," is all she said. She did however keep me updated on how his life was going and where he was living. '********************** Eighteen years later I got fucked again. I caught my wife fooling around with someone else and we're been separated for the last seven months. She now lives in our old house and I moved into my cottage by the beach we'd been renting out for the last three years. I, or should I say the bank and I own, my own construction company and next week I will become a full-fledged licensed architect. I guess I wasn't so dumb after all. My soon to be ex-wife, Sandy, wants for us to try again but I just don't think I have anything left in me anymore. We met and after a year got married. She worked for another firm I did a lot of business with and found we'd always end up together at this seminar or that one. Sandy was good, not great in bed and we had a lot in common. To tell you the truth, I think I was lonelier than really in love with Sandy. I worked all the time and she was always there and wanting to take me to bed. She thought I was a fool to go back to school and said I'd never make it. Guess I proved her wrong. "David it's over, why can't you just forget about it and come home?" Sandy said for the umpteenth time. "I'm sorry it happened but it's not like I was screwing him every night," she told me. "It was only a couple of times and I was drunk half those times." "I guess that made it all right," I said to myself. So now I have a small but successful construction company in Jacksonville Florida. I will be divorced for the second time by the end of this year but at least I still have my pride for what ever that's worth. I dumped two cheating wives. Something in me must bring out the worst in women. Every year the T.P.C. Golf Club held its charity auction. For the last three years I'd donated a set of house plans to the highest bidder. I usually did them myself so it didn't cost me anything more than a few hours of work. I'd done some really fancy homes in the last few years and had even won a few awards. I guess I wasn't as lame as everyone up North seemed to think I was. So Saturday night, looking extra fine with my tux on and with pictures of my best work displayed I stepped on stage. The M.C. gave this glowing speech about their local and world-renowned architect and what I'd be offering before opening up the bidding. "For those who don't know me, my name is David Ward and I build custom homes. Sounds like the start of an AA meeting doesn't it," I said making a joke as I got more than a few laughs. "What I'm offering is a complete set of custom house plans that you can take to any builder. What I'd just like to remind you, it's for charity and tax deductable," I said with a smile. "We can do it on your time table and at either your home or my office," I told the crowd. "So as they say on television, let's get ready to rumble." Last year I made almost $2,200.00 and I'd already passed that amount as the bidding got hot and heavy. When it started to slow down, I spoke up. "As an added bonus, I will also throw in a free dinner at the club and a three night cruise for two to the Grand Camen Island," I told them. The bidding stopped at $3775.00 for a second when a final one from the back of the room brought it just over $4,100.00. "Well that's better than last year," I said to myself as I picked up my stuff on stage and went back to my table. Everyone congratulated me on the amount of my bid, as the final item was getting ready to be auctioned off. I sat in my chair and looked around the room and at the people. These were the beautiful people who had the money and who's shit didn't stink. Sandy loved these functions and was here some where with a few of her friends rubbing elbows with the elite. I just wanted out of there. I was just putting all my drawings and photographs in my case when Carla, who was in charge of the event, came up behind me. "You out did yourself this year David," she said with a smile. "A nice touch offering the dinner and cruise," she told me. "The winner would like to meet with you next Tuesday at her home at about 7:00 to go over her needs. She gave me her card and her home address she said writing it on a napkin. Her name is Ann." "Ann what?" I asked. "Just Ann," Carla said. "She told me she just goes by her first name passing over the napkin. "She seems nice anyway." She thanked me again and headed over to the next table to take care of more business and I headed out. "Are you leaving already?" Sandy asked. "It's been a long day and I'm a little tired," I told her. "You want some company?" she said with a smile. "What do you want Sandy?" "Sex. How about you and I have an old fashion roll in the hay. No strings attached good old fuck. I know you haven't gotten any lately and could probably use a bit of a release. Come on. For old times sake," she said squeezing my hand. "My place in an hour if your still interested," I told her. The sex was better than good tonight. Sandy made ever effort to give me more than I wanted. She blew me out on the back deck after we'd finished a glass of wine and rode me like there was no tomorrow. I wasn't going to eat her, not knowing whom if anyone she'd been with, but did it anyway. I must not have lost my touch as she went nuts climaxing and shooting her juices over my face. We finished up with a slow; gently fuck like we'd done so many times in the past. I shot my wad into the condom after about fifteen minutes and rolled over onto my back next to her. January 17th "That was nice. You still do it for me David," she said kissing me on the lips. "You plan on kicking me out tonight or can I share your bed until morning like before." "Your choice. Just don't get any ideas that we're a couple again. This was just sex tonight, nothing more," I tried to tell her. "You say that now, but remember I know you pretty well David. I felt something more than just two bodies slapping against one another," Sandy said cuddling under my arm now. "No matter what you say." "What ever. Stay if you want." I said shutting off the light and adjusting my pillow as she pulled in even closer. "What do you want for breakfast?" Sandy asked as I walked down the stairs. "Just coffee." "I was going to make omelets for us, but there's nothing in your refrigerator. You still don't know how to shop yet do you. Do you want me to go to the store for you?" "Not necessary because I usually don't eat much at home anymore." "Back to your old habits I see. Work until the wee hours of the morning and eat only when necessary. I thought I broke you of that habit?" she said sipping on her coffee. I was going to say something ugly like, "I thought I'd broken you of your old habit of sleeping with other men," but thought better of it. "David, we really are good together and I'm sorry I screwed up. Will you consider just trying to make it work again?" she asked. "I'll think about it, but you cut me wide, deep and often Sandy. If it had been with someone I didn't know that would be one thing. But with Randy? I see him every week and that's the first and only thing I think about when I see him." "I know I can't take it back, but just think about it. Will you?" I agreed and we had a breakfast of what I had left in the refrigerator, which wasn't much. We did have another session, in and out of my shower, but it was nowhere as intense as the one we'd had last night. Monday afternoon I got together some of my best work for my meeting with Ann. I had plans for two to five bedroom homes and more than a few styles of exteriors. Looking at the address I went into to Google Earth to look at the place where she was currently living. A condo complex about three blocks from Atlantic beach. Nice but not great. At 7:00 sharp I was speaking into the speaker in the lobby of Ann's condo building. "Ann, my name is David Ward from the auction. I'm here for our 7:00 appointment," I told her. "Fourth floor unit 425," was her reply as I heard the buzz opening the lobby door. "Not a bad place, but most of these units were rentals. She's probably ready to build her own place," I said to myself as I walk down the corridor. When I found 425 I knocked on the door. All right now I wished I'd had one drink. Hell, whom am I kidding? I wished that I were either drunk or some where else when Ann opened the door. "Good evening David," Ann said as she opened the door to let me in. "Robin?" I said with my mouth wide open. "Are you going to come in or are you going to stand in the hallway catching flies with your mouth wide open?" she said with a laugh. "How? Why? What are you doing here?" I finally got out of my mouth as I walked into her place. "I work here in Jacksonville at the Mayo Clinic. I'm just renting this place until I can find or build something else." "Well if that don't beat all. I move from Minnesota to Florida and run into you. What are the chances of that? Way too high!" I said now looking at her. "You want something to drink? I've got everything you use to drink, instead of Ripple Wine. I looked for it but I'm not sure they even make it any longer." "Just a Corona if you've got one," I replied. Robin handed me a Corona and she poured herself a glass of Blush wine. She motioned me over to the couch in the living room and sat down. "Well shall we talk about the designs you brought with you?" "Not on your life Robin. I need a few questions answered before we go any further and just for the sake of curiosity, it is Doctor I hope?" "Yes it is, and I have you to thank for that," she replied with a smile. "How long have you been in Jacksonville?" "About five months, two weeks and three days approximately," she said. "I heard about an opening coming up at the Mayo Clinic and decided to apply. After two interviews I received an offer, accepted it and here I am." "Just like that?" "Just like that," Robin replied. "You hungry? I've got a few snacks prepared for later but if you're hungry we can have them now." "How did you find out I was in Jacksonville? I know there's no way my dad or my brothers would have told you, that just leaves mom." "Oh do you live in Jacksonville to? What a strange coincidence," she said with this wide-eyed look on her face. "Imagine meeting up after all these years and living in the same town. What are the chances?" "I'm going to let that one slide because I know my mom. Next question, how did you know about the auction?" "I didn't, that was just a fluke. I went to the club for dinner with a couple of other doctors and saw the notice about the auction. Imagine my surprise when I saw your name listed. I just stuck around and bid. I guess I own you, or at least a set of plans. Ready for another?" she asked as she got another glass of wine for herself. "I'm fine for now. What are you doing, trying to get me drunk?" "That might be interesting," she said with this evil look on her face. "Where's your husband?" "Don't have one at the moment and if you're wondering no kids either." "Sorry about that Robin. That was one question I wasn't going to ask for obvious reasons," I told her. "But since you brought it up, what kind of doctor did you become?" "Fertility. I help couples that are having problems get pregnant. Go figure. I couldn't help myself but now I'm helping everyone else. And I'm damn good at it," she said with this look of pride about herself. "What else do you want to know David? That I've had four lovers since you. That I almost got married a while ago but backed out at the last minute. That I never stopped loving you, that I like still like Mexican food and sleeping on a water bed." "Wait. Wait. Go back a couple of items," I asked. "You mean that I still like Mexican food?" "No. Just before that," I asked. "Oh, that I still love you?" "Yes. That's the one I meant. Is it true?" "Think about it David. I moved down here just after you and Sandy split up. I think I know more about what's happened to you over the last year than I know about myself. That you have a 3.85 GPA and will be awarded your diploma next Thursday night. You employ eight people full time and two part time single mothers who you actually made jobs for. What else do you want to know?" "You've been following me?" "Not really, just seeing where you were in your life every now and then," she told me. "Why? Why do you care? You walked out on me, remember?" "That's not exactly true. You left me if you'll recall." "With good reason I might add. You were screwing around on me and I wasn't about to share you with one of your college buddies. So I just cut you loose like it seems you wanted." "David I was drunk that night and yes I was playing tongue tag with that guy. I let it go too far but I never went to bed with him or anyone else up there. I was lonely and you were so far away. I screwed up ok? But not bad enough for you to toss me on the scrap heap," she said now with teary eyes. "Robin, I just got the feeling that you and your uppity friends looked down on me, and when you never returned my calls or e-mails I got worried and came up for a visit. That's when everything went to hell in a hand basket." "David, I got my priorities screwed up and by the time I realized it you were gone. Don't be too hard on your mother. It took me five years to get her to tell me where you went. I didn't know what to do. I was in a relationship but I wanted you back. I was torn. It took me over a year to get my head around what I really wanted and by that time you'd taken up with Sandy. I waited for you to dump her but you got married instead." Robin stopped and went and got a tissue and another glass of wine and took a deep breath. "Why in the hell didn't you just talk to me? Hell, why didn't you just fly down and say David I fucked up and want to get back together?" "I was afraid of being rejected. You were mad and I'd hurt you pretty bad so I wasn't sure how you'd react. I still kept tabs on you but found two other guys to fill my evenings. I was thinking about getting serious with one and even accepted his marriage proposal when you and Sandy started having problems." I listened with this stupid look on my face. "That's when your mother called. We'd kept in contact and would touch base about four times a year, especially around the holidays. Well to make a long story short, when you two separated, I moved down here. I figured it was my last chance and I was going to take it. If you rejected me, well so be it. It would be over and I could move on with my life. But, if you still had feelings for me, well then we could see where that would take us. Well I'm done…" she finally said chugging the last of her wine. We just sat there looking at one another. Her dabbing her eyes and me twirling an empty Corona bottle on the coffee table. I walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed another and walked around the kitchen and then back into the living room. "So what you're asking is for another chance?" "Only if you want to," she said as I took a long swig. "A lot has happened. I'm not the young naïve boy you left when you went to New York. I've grown a little harder especially when it comes to women. What do they say, once bitten twice shy?" "And I'm not the same geeky seventeen year old girl you married either. I'm a professional with a lot more experience, if you know what I mean." "Hey, I fell in love with that geeky girl and those were the best times in my life when we spent night after night learning what we both liked. I never want to forget those wonderful times. But I don't know Robin. Do you know I was in mourning for almost two years after I left? I wanted so many times to drive back home, grab you in my arms and never let you go. But you weren't there. You were in New York doing who knows what with whomever." "Look David I can't take back what I did. I'm sorry it happened but now I have to look forward. I just need to know if there's a chance for us. That's all," Robin said looking into my eyes. "That last statement sounded exactly like the one Sandy laid on me last Sunday morning," I thought to myself. "Let me think about it Robin. You've taken me by surprise and I need time to digest what you've told me. Why don't we get together this weekend and talk. Ok?" "I'm on call all weekend, but since I'm so close to the hospital, we can meet here, have dinner and reminisce. How about that?" "Sounds like a plan," I told her. "Well, at least let me leave this stuff with you, so if nothing else you can see what I've been doing these past few years," I said putting my stuff on her dining room table. With that I got up to leave. "I've got your number and I'll touch base with you Thursday night," I told her. "You look good Robin and I'm really proud of you Dr Ann," I said walking towards the door. "David don't you even think about leaving without giving me a kiss. I've dreamed about this moment for the last few years and I'm not going to let you go without at least one tonight," she said pulling me to her. "Damn, she'd gotten a lot better and if this kiss was any indication of what she'd learned I was in for a wild night next time; if there was going to be a next time," I thought to myself. "That was almost worth the wait," Robin said kissing me again and not letting me leave. "Maybe next time we could take it to second base," she said with a smile. I gave her one more peck, walked out the door and adjusted the woody in my pants. "Well that's not what I expected," I said as I drove home. "Hello mom," I said as she picked up the phone. "You'll never guess in a million years who I saw tonight," I told her. "Don't be mad at her David, I gave Robin your address and phone a little while back," she told me. "How long ago mom?" "Oh just about a year ago," she replied. "You two belong together and when that slut cheated on you I just happened to mention it to Robin," she said with a chuckle. "You know I only want the best for you don't you?" "Yes mom, but Robin was the one who started this a long time ago." "But you two were still so young and never had a chance to be a normal couple with her going to school and all. Just listen to her and do what your heart tells you to do. And if it doesn't work out, well I guess it wasn't meant to be. By the way, how is that tramp Sandy?" "She sends you her love to mom. I've got to get going or are there any other surprises you want to tell me about?" I asked. "Nope, none that I can think of for the moment. Dad says to tell you you're still a dumb shit but he's proud of you for finishing school. Take care, and let me know what's going on in your life." "Yes mother. I love you," I said before hanging up. I wonder if Robin's parents know what she's doing. I spent the next forty-eight hours going through the motions. I took phone calls, checked on the progress of three houses I had under construction and even took an order for a cute two-bedroom cottage in Saint Augustine. It was my favorite floor plan probably because it was exactly the same as the house I was living in. You see I'd built this house for a young lawyer and his wife. She'd always wanted to live on the ocean and her husband wanted to make it happen. He got caught doing something he wasn't supposed to and they ended up getting a divorce. They both wanted the house but we hadn't closed on it yet. It got so mean and ugly between the two of them I felt nether one of them deserved it. So I bought it myself. I lived in it until I met Sandy. She wanted something a lot larger so I rented it out to a friend until seven months ago. So now it's all mine again. I called Robin Thursday night and got her answering machine. I left a message that I'd see her Friday at about 7:00 and if that wasn't good for her to get back to me. I watched the sun come up Friday morning, a cup of coffee in hand. "God I'm glad I bought this place," as I saw a little bright sliver come up over the horizon. Between the clouds, water vapors and the light from the sun, it looked like the sky was on fire. I snapped a few shots with my camera and sat down on one of my chairs and put my feet up. I waved at a few joggers and looked through my telescope at what was happening up and down the coast, especially one house about a quarter mile down the beach. I could look right into their bedroom and more than once I watched as he got a little morning nookie from his cute blonde wife. "Nope, nothing this morning." I said to myself almost disappointed. I called it a day at noon on Friday. I was worthless anyway. My head was somewhere far away and I was still trying to get the old image of Robin with that guy out of my head. Damn I hated her for what she'd done to me. She had meant the world to me at one time, was there still something left inside of me? With a bottle of Pear Apricot wine I announced myself again to the intercom. I heard the buzzer and walked in. I took the stairs instead of the elevator this time. I still wasn't quite sure what I was doing here and needed just a few more moments to get my head together. "I thought you got lost," Robin said as she opened the door. "Nope, just took a little tour of the place. I think you'll like this," I said handing her the bottle of wine. "It's like a white zinfandel but a lot smoother." "So we've become a wine aficionado?" she said putting it in a bucket of ice. "Not really, I just know what I like." "Well before we have dinner let me give you a tour of my humble abode and tell you what I like and don't like about it." We spent the next hour going room to room as Robin said what she liked in a dining room, kitchen and bedroom. "I like an open floor plan. That way I can always see and talk to whom ever is here." "Are you telling me you've never purchased your own place?" "Only rented from day one. I've never been anywhere long enough to set up roots. Until now that is," looking at me. "Come with me," I told her as I led her out of her condo and down to my car. "I've got to show you my pride and joy," I said now beaming. We turned into the driveway and parked the car in the garage. "Close your eyes," I told her as I led her into my kitchen so she could see the entire layout. Just one more second," I said as I lit the gas fireplace in the living room and dimmed the lights. "Alright open your eyes." "Oh my!" Robin said as she drank in everything. The back of the house facing the ocean was all glass and there were only two separation walls that were needed for structural support. From the living room you could look up at the master loft suite and see skylights letting in the light of the full moon. She didn't say a word as she silently walked around the place and finally out onto the deck. With the sound of the surf in the background she turned around and looked through the massive glass doors illuminated by all the recess lighting. I joined her on the deck with two glasses of wine. "Well, what do you think?" "You did this? You designed this place yourself?" "Yes to both. I built it for another couple and ended up keeping it myself. It's kind of like my retreat from all the craziness of life. I can sit back, listen to the waves and nothing can touch me here." "Its magnificent. It's just so beautiful," she said covering the distance between us. "It's a far cry from our apartment back home," she said taking the wine from my hand and setting it on the table as she grabbed me. Our lips touched and it was like we'd never been apart. We moved from one side to the other without ever losing contact with one another as our tongues mated and did a love dance in our mouths. My chest was heaving; my heart beat wildly as we almost became one, clothes and all. I wanted her now. I wanted her more than I'd wanted anything else in the whole wide world as I continued to caress her body through her dress that was now soaked with perspiration. I lifted her dress as I grabbed her ass cheeks and pulled her even tighter to me. I was so hard that I thought I'd skewer her if she were any closer. I moved lower licking her from behind her ear to her neck, all the while unbuttoning her dress. Finding her braless I cupped one breast tenderly as I moved lower to feast on it when it happened. I was so startled and surprised, that I almost fell over before regaining my composure as it happened again. RING. Robin reached into her pocket on her dress and pulled out her cell phone. "This is Ann," she said now switching to her professional voice. "Keep her stable, give her a saline drip and I'll be there as soon as possible," she told the person on the end of the line. "David, I have to leave, can you give me a lift back to my place?" She sat next to me and as I drove she kept rubbing my thigh. When I pulled into her complex my heart rate had slowed down, my breathing was almost back to normal but I still didn't want the night to end. "I'm sorry David," she said but I could see the pain in her eyes. "It doesn't happen often but my patient needs me right now." "Don't worry about it Robin, just do what you have to and I'll take a rain check." "You will call me right?" she asked. "I'll call. Now go make a baby," I said, kissing her and opening the door for her. She laid a big kiss on me and jogged to her car and within three minutes she was heading out. January 17th I don't know how long I sat in that damn parking lot with my car running. I don't even know what the hell I was thinking about only that I was in a friggin daze as I replayed over and over the events of the last hour and a half in my brain. "Close so close," I said to myself as I came out of my dream state, put my car in drive and headed back to my place. Everything was like I'd left it. Lights on and the French doors still opened to the deck. Grabbing her glass of wine and sitting down on a lounger I took a sip from the same side Robin had drank from. I smelled the rim of the glass and licked off the lipstick residue from the side. I wanted her. When the sun came up I was still sitting there. My shirt was un-tucked, open and I was barefoot. I had drained the liquid from her glass and was twirling it in my hand by its thin stem closing my eyes and inhaling what was left of her scent on the rim. It had been so long and I'd forgotten what she smelled like as I now cupped my hands together and covered my face. Her perspiration, her sweat had been absorbed into my pores and I was now drunk with desire for her. I had wanted to crawl inside her. To bring her in so close that I could wrap her around me like a child rolled up in a comforter on a bed. It had gone beyond want. I needed her. I needed her so badly I started to scare myself. I just sat there and looked out over the water dreaming of days past. "You didn't call," I heard the voice say as I snapped my head around. You said you would call but you didn't. I went home, checked my messages and there weren't any from you," she said softly standing in my living room. "Also, you didn't lock your door," she now said with a smile. I covered the distance in less than three strides as we crashed into one another. "I love you, I've always loved you," I said kissing her as she hung onto me for dear life as I almost knocked her over. She just smiled as I started to reacquaint myself with her body. I tasted her lips, neck and was going to take her there right on the living room floor when she pushed me away for a split second. "Don't you think we'd be a lot more comfortable upstairs?" she said now racing for the stairs. She'd gotten a good head start but I caught her just as she hit the landing and was now covering her lips with my own. "I feel gross after being on the floor all night. Do you have a shower up here?" "Your wish is my command as I led her into the bathroom. It was a grotto shower with a view of the beach. "My, my, my, it's big enough for five people in there," she said with a laugh. "Do you have anymore surprises for me?" she said pulling me in clothes and all. Did we us soap? I haven't a clue. All I know is that I had her in my arms and I wasn't letting go. I chased her wet from the shower to my bed as I let our body heat dry the moisture from our bodies and my tongue consumed that what was left. I ate her like I'd never eaten any woman before including herself. I swear my tongue grew two inches as I probed her honey pot as deep in as I could go. She was hot, wet and smelled wonderful as I climaxed her once before driving her over the top again. But I never let up. On her back with her legs over my shoulders I eased in just the head before her pussy sucked in the other six inches. She met every one of my thrusts with one of her own. I wanted to be a macho man and last until the sun went down but after less than ten minutes I was filling her pussy with my fluids. For a split second I thought about that night a million years ago and instead of pulling out I just kept pumping, giving her all I had. It was almost like we'd never been apart. We lay on the bed saying nothing. Was she satisfied? Did I ring her chimes? Robin say something, that damn voice in my head screamed as I looked at her lying next to me with her eyes shut. "Not bad but you could use some practice," she said still with her eyes shut. "Well if you want, I could call Sandy over and get back to you later in the week," I said before getting hit across the head with a pillow. I threw it across the room and continued kissing her until I started to get hard again. We made love the rest of the weekend. Thank god her phone never rang again. We christened every room of the house including the two chairs on the deck, one at sunrise the following morning and the other that night after dinner with our lights out while listening to the surf. Did we become an item? We were an item the first night as I stood in the hallway when she opened the door. For three months we live the life of two horny teenagers. I tried to live on love, but I was losing too much weight. I was thinking of asking Robin to move in with me when I said something stupid and she did something really dumb. We were enjoying a glass of wine on the deck after a magnificent dinner I'd prepared. She was staring out onto the water when I came up behind her and put my arm around her waist. "Happy?" "Very much so," she replied. "But you can't be horny again are you?" "No, just enjoying you being here with me," I said kissing her on the nap of her neck. "David, where are you and I right now?" "I was going to say something cute but thought better of it. "I'm here with you making up for all the years we wasted." "They weren't wasted years," she replied. "I got my degree and have made a lot of couples happy by bringing babies into the world." "I didn't say they were wasted only that we weren't together," I tried again. "We were pretty immature back then, and probably wouldn't have made it because of all the stress of everything that was going on around us," Robin said. "You mean even if I hadn't gone up to see you that weekend you're saying we probably wouldn't have made it?" I said now getting a little agitated. "Who knows what would have happened if you wouldn't have over reacted. I might have moved back to Minnesota and opened up my own practice," Robin said. "Over reacted? What would you have done if you'd come home and found he in bed with someone else? Would you have over reacted Robin? Would you have gone back to New York and told me to fuck myself," I said getting angry now. "David, that's all in the past. I just need to know where we're going now. Do you see a future for us? If not, I need to know," she said in a serious tone. "Robin, I can't say we're going to be married in two weeks or two months from now. I just know I want to be with you." "It's just that I don't want to be just a fuck buddy or a friend with privileges, I need more," she told me. I was about to really get into it with her when her cell went off. "I've got to go in," she told me giving me a quick peck. "Call me," she said running out the door. "Saved by the bell so to speak," I told myself. This time I pulled back a little. I hadn't liked her attitude and the way our last conversation had gone. But I now agreed with her, we probably wouldn't have made it back then. She was on a mission and I was just one of many stepping-stones to where she wanted be. I made excuses the following week telling her I needed to look at an out of town project that I was bidding on. Then she ran into problems with two of her patients. One almost died and it shook her up pretty good. She'd never lost anyone before. I sent her a quite card with a puppy saying I missed her. A week later I tried to make a date and she said that an out of town doctor was coming in Friday and Saturday but we could plan something for Sunday. I agreed and we made some tentative plans. The first crack came Friday when I called her after 11:00 and a man answered her phone. "Robin there?" I asked. "She's busy right now, can I take a message?" was his reply. "No, I'll just see her later," I told him. Who in the hell was that I wondered? Her out of town guest? I used a security company on my jobsites to cut down on theft. "Danny, David here. I have another job for you tomorrow. I need someone followed and taped," I told him. I gave him Robin's address and scanned in a picture of her for him. She had checked up on me, and I guess it was my turn. Sunday at 7:30 am he dropped off the disk. "Have you seen it?" I asked. "Nope, one of my best guys did it and say it's not too bad what ever that means," he told me. I thanked him and told him I'd put in a little extra this week for him. Tape in hand I went into the living room and dropped it in the DVD player and watched all five and a half hours of it. A lot of it I could have fast-forwarded through it but I watched it all. I paid the courier an extra $50.00 to make sure Robin got the tape before 2:00. I took off on my motorcycle for a fast one and a half hour jaunt down A1A to Saint Augustine, had dinner and took a slow ride back. I stopped for gas and noticed I had eight voice mails from Robin. I turned off my phone again. It was dark when I pulled my bike into the garage. I'd seen Robins car parked on the side of the house and it didn't surprise me to see her sitting on my step. "Hello Robin, nice night out. You want to come in?" I asked. She walked in without saying a word. "You want a glass of wine, a beer or something stronger?" "Wine will be fine," she told me. "You were the one that called Friday night weren't you?" she asked. "Yes it was," I said pouring her a glass and handing it to her. "You want to talk about it or do we just chalk it up to deja vu and let it go at that." "His name is James Corner and we were engaged to be married before I came down here. He's been calling and e-mailing me ever since asking if I'd reconsidered or changed my mind. He was supposedly coming down for a training seminar but I found out that was just a lie. He came down here to get me back." "I guessed as much looking at the tape," I told her. "I guess you didn't have to watch it like I did." "Why did you have me followed Saturday? Didn't you trust me? I guess not because if you did, you wouldn't have done it." "Put yourself in my place Robin. You call me late at night and a woman answers the phone. You ask if I'm available and you're told that I'm busy right now. What would you have done?" "And the following night you go to dinner with your 'friend' and he's all over you. You hold hands, you kiss, you dance close together and the only reason I'm still here talking to you Robin is because when he grabbed your butt you laid him out. Nice punch," I said looking at her. "David, you invaded my privacy and didn't trust me," she shouted at me. "And your point? I'd do it again in a heart beat considering our last conversation," I told her as I could see she was getting agitated. "When I got the tape I was so angry I just wanted to scream at you. I just hope you erased those messages I sent to you earlier today," she said as she started to calm down. "They were a little raw," she said as she now paced back and forth. "Alright I may have gone a little over board sending you the tape," I said looking at her. "Ok, maybe a lot. But I've still got two questions to ask you and I need the truth," I told her as she got this ugly scowl on her face preparing to jump down my throat again. "First one," I said trying to look as serious as I could. "Robin will you marry me, again? And second, when can you move in?" She never even saw it coming as her brain was preparing for something entirely different. I think I counted to two before the expression on her face changed. "Oh my God are you serious?" "No not really. I say that to all the doctors I'm having sex with," I said with a smile. She balled my eyes out that night and every night after that until one week before our wedding. "The next time you have me will be on our wedding night. I want you to be rested up," she told me. "Don't worry babes, by Saturday I'm going to be so horny my eye balls will be floating. But, I've already had your cherry once and that pussy now fits me like a warn velvet glove," I told her. "Who said anything about my pussy?" she said walking into the spare bedroom swaying her ass from side to side looking over her shoulder. "See you Saturday," Robin said closing the door and locking it. "Five days and a wake up…I'll never make it." January 1971 in Detroit "Hey Preacher," the voice coming from the phone shocked me. No one had called me that since my last days in Vietnam. Four years at home and still trying to get past those days. "Jim you son of a bitch, I almost didn't recognize your voice." He had to know that it was a lie. Not more than a dozen people in the whole world knew me by that name. "What the hell are you doing calling me. I thought you were dead." I gave a resounding laugh so he knew that I was kidding. "Nah that was my evil twin brother who died. So what you up to these days Preach?" I had a chill run through me. Not at the use of my name but at the thought that Jim obviously had something in mind. "Oh doing a little of this and a little of that." I tried to make it convincing. I had pretty much taken over for my Uncle Deacon. Deacon was all finesse, whereas I was maximum violence. They each seemed to get the job done. I had come to hate drugs and drug dealers while in Vietnam. Taking their money didn't bother me in the least. When they resisted with guns, they died. It was a simple way of dealing with men who sold junk to kids. "So you want to go to Detroit?" "Why the hell would I want to go to Detroit?" "Why hell Preach we be having kind of reunion there." "Jim, there were exactly twenty men in our field unit and half of them are dead. It ain't going to be much of a reunion." "Well it ain't exactly that kind of reunion." "What kind of reunion is it then." "Vietnam Vets Against the War is having some kind of a thing in Detroit. They want to hear our stories." "Jim have you gone soft on me." I couldn't believe he had joined the resistance. He and I hadn't really been in the war. At least not the one they were protesting. "They sent out a call for the Advisors to the ARVN troops. They want to ask us what it was like in the early days." "That's nuts. Who the hell cares what it was like in the cowboy days." "Some naval officer is promising to get it all told. He was some kinda' Seal or something. Wants to let everybody know the truth." "Whose truth?" "Why ours of course." "I haven't talked to you in a long time, so you probably don't know how I feel." "Unless you're the one who has gone soft, I know exactly how you feel. It's how all of us feel. Maybe we can get the word out. If nothing else, we can shake a few of them up. Come on Preach it will be fun." "If you knew how I hated the cold, you wouldn't ask me." "Preach, my friends in the VVAW tell me they are going to give this SEAL all the dirt to carry to Washington. Don't you want to see what dirt they have?" "From what I hear of the VVAW they are a ragtag bunch who can't do more than have a lot of guys in field jackets show up to burn flags. How the hell are they going to get their stories out?" "This Seal has an in with congress. He's gonna'' get it read into the congressional record." "Now that is interesting. Yeah Jim, I would like to hear what they gonna' put in that report." I had no idea what happened in the war after I left just a few short of years before. I wondered if I might learn something from the GIs at the meeting. If nothing else it would be a chance for me to get away for a few days. I hadn't been in an airplane since I got home from the cross country flight in 1966. Even though I swore that I would never leave North Carolina again, I boarded the whisper jet at the local airport. I managed to fly past Detroit and on to Chicago, then of course I changed planes and flew back. "Hey there Preacher," the old looking young man said. "Damn Jim you gained a couple of pounds and got old." "How am I gonna' get old in seven years." "I got no idea man, but you sure as hell did it." I grinned at him. Truth is except for the extra twenty pounds on a frame well able to support it, he looked exactly the same. "Come on let's get a beer." "First the bags, then the beer." I don't expect Jim knew it but I had the old Colt combat green pistol in the b-4 bag. I should have replaced the bag but what the hell, I hadn't traveled any since I returned home. "You still got that chicken shit Air Force suitcase. God how we envied you that bag. You the only one didn't show up in Saigon with a duffle bag and a gym bag." "That's what happens when you have a brother in the Air Force." I said it almost seriously. We were in a cab headed for the Howard Johnson's, without a beer I might add, when Jim said, "Preacher we go to be cool here. Lots of these guys are wired." "Drugs?" "I don't think so. They be high on something else. Not sure if its hate or revenge but they on some kind of high. Me and you got to stay low." "I didn't come a thousand miles to lay low Jim. You got me here, I expect you to stand up to it." "Preacher ain't nobody gonna' do nothing to you they don't do to me. We just don't need to be startin' it." "Hell Jim, the only way you can know it's coming is if you start it." "Preacher, I'm serious these are some bad assed dudes. We bad too, but there are a lot of them. They say over a hundred gonna' give statements." "Statements about what." "Bout what they saw and did in DaNam." "Well that's what we are here for isn't it?" "Just be careful please." "Jim, I'm a changed man. I don't go chasin'' after trouble no more." "Yeah, and we made the world a better place." "Not even a little part of it." Half an hour later we were in the bar. Looking around we were about the only ones there without field jackets. Most were too new looking to have seen much time off the rack. The bartender looked terrified. There were a lot of rough looking guys with beards and long hair, but they seemed pretty harmless to me. Still there was a kind of fire in their eyes as if they were on a crusade, if not drugs. One of the men recognized Jim. Jim had been there a couple of days before he called me. "Sargent Lester this is my friend Preacher Burke." I reached up and shook the slightly younger man's hand. "So who were you with?" It was a natural question for him to ask. "MACV," It should have been all the answer necessary. "What the fuck is that?" He looked a little drunk. I quickly began to assess him. He was about twenty pounds of drunk, overweight. Too much soft living since he came home I thought. If it came to physical force, I was more than a match for him. Problem was several more people drifted over. "That was them pussies that pushed papers in Saigon." The New man just looked mean. I was surprised to find Jim answer for me. "You open your fucking mouth again honey, and this pussy gonna' put your ass in the hospital." He looked around just as cold as a morgue slab. "Don't much matter to me how many of you 'heroes' go with him.." "MACV, was more than paper pushers Lester. Some of them were advisors to the ARVN before we ever heard of Vietnam. "What year Preacher?" He intentionally looked past Jim. He was trying to diffuse the situation. "63," I replied not taking my eyes off the others. I noted with satisfaction that Jim hadn't either. "Preacher was back again in 65 won his self a Pulitzer." "Peabody Jim." I corrected him still expecting trouble. "Oh you were with the press to? We definitely want to talk to you." "Oh we, so you are in charge of this band of soldiers." "Not much in charge to it. This was kinda' the idea of a Navy Officer. He wants to take testimony to help end the war, then take it Washington. He's got some kind of pull down there." Just as quickly as the tenst moment come, it went. Every one was buddies again a minute after the man calmed it all down. "So you are some kind of organizer?" "Well VVAW will work with anyone who is serious about ending this war." "Man with Washington connections wants to have a meeting and you don't have a problem with it?" I was more than a little surprised. "Well the anti war people are in congress now. We can get this stuff in the record, it will make it real not just some vet rambling." "So it's a hundred vets rambling?" I asked it a little skeptical. It was easy to skeptical if the men in the Howard Johnson lounge were any indication of the types doing the testifying. "When this dude tells it, it will sound like a million. He is smooth Preacher. He is gonna' take us down there and we are gonna' be on our best behavior. He is gonna' go in there and make it sound like a million of us are in the streets. "So, is this guy serious or just headline grabbing. You know like body counts in reverse." "Who gives a damn. He has been to the Paris Guys, so he can get us heard. Preacher they may all be trying to use us so what. We will whore for anybody to stop this war and save lives." "So what if I but don't have anything to tell?" "Hell make up something, we ain't gonna' use no names. Nobody is gonna' send you to jail even if you say you did something." Jim looked at me and I shook my head. "Well we didn't see anything interesting and we didn't do anything that would interest you." "Come on preacher everybody knows the ARVN won't fight. We have a story that they refused to save a wounded American because they didn't want to fight." I watched Jim shake. It was just a tiny twitch in his face. That is if you didn’t know him. I was debating whether to let him blow or not. I decided not to. "Tell you what, I want to be on a plane out of here early tomorrow. You get us in early and we will tell our story." "Good for you," he said as he left. "Which story we gonna' tell them?" "How about the rubber plantation?" "Oh one of my all time favorites." "After about five minutes the other vets began milling around. We drank and listened to their stories. It was men telling a hundred horror stories. Probably twenty had been there but the others had heard about the stories they were telling. "I had a buddy who was in the third, they went into a village and gang raped the mayor's daughter to teach him a lesson. You know that just wasn't right." Hell there was no way to disagree with that. The problem was the same story got told on Marines of several units, a couple of army units and even a CIA group from Loas. Did it happen, most likely yes. Did every unit in Vietnam do it as it sounded that night? I have serious doubts. "How the hell are they going to turn a hundred guys into the horror story they want?" I asked it of Jim. "Hell preacher, you know it don't take a lot of facts to convince the Choir." "I guess if you get it in the congressional record with a friendly audience it goes down as gospel." "Preachin' to the Choir Preacher." The soldiers I met that night were genuine in their desire to make a difference. I believed that each and every one of them told the truth over the course of the interviews. How it got written down is something I don't know. I do know what happened to me the next day. "Come on in," the tall gaunt man in the field jacket said. "I'm Robert Thomas, everybody calls me Rob." I shook his hand. "Well Rob, I'm David Burke, and this I Jim Everette." "I hear you won a peabody for writing about the war?" He asked it waiting to see my reaction. "Not really, I won it for a photograph I took." For a second he looked disappointed. "Oh like that little girl with the napalm burns?" He looked interested again. "Cong crucified on the wire outside a firebase. It was at night and lit with a Willie Pete round." They saw an image in it that I didn't shoot." The man thought for a minute, then spoke. "So you have some experiences while you were with the ARVN to relate to us." I motioned to Jim. He said it about like this. "We was with the lead element to enter a rubber plantation. You got any idea what a rubber plantation looks like." "No I've never been on one." "It's like a forest with no little trees. Everything is clean man. Just rows and rows of trees with no brush. Charlie opened up and penned us down. Only two of the soldiers with us went down. Everybody else was hidin' behind trees. Me, I was wishin' mama had, had herself a smaller son." He saw the lost look on Robs face. "Oh, I'm a lot of man to get behind a little rubber tree." Rob nodded. "We was penned down big time. Couldn't go forward and couldn't go back. A hundred ARVN behind us with no advisor and about sixteen and us two under fire. Then the mortars started to fall on the plantation. We didn't have no mortars or artillery, and sure as hell no airplanes to call in. It looked pretty much like the end to me." "How the hell did you get out?" Rob's buddy, the organizer asked. "Those hundred ARVN troops, that everybody says wasn't worth a fuck, charged throught that rubber plantation picking us up as they went by. We chased charlie out of his positions and just as far as we could. We got his three mortar tubes, Russian by the way. The count was five ARVN ranger killed in the assault. They lost five of their own to either save us, or to kick some Cong Ass." Jim was grinning because the others were so stone faced. "I don't know which it was but they sure was a sight to see. Running with them little knives on the end of the fifty year old rifles we gave them. "I do hope that makes it into the testimony, since it is fair to show both sides I think." I said it knowing it wouldn't. Nobody is fair when it comes to war or politics. "Well that really isn't exactly the kind of thing we are looking for." "Of course it isn't," I said that as I walked out. "Why don't you call your friends at the news service and blow his cover." Jim asked that grinning. "Jim what do you think of that war?" "I hate the mother fucker. Don't make no sense at all." "I could never do what they are going to do, but then maybe the ends does justify the means." "Yeah, but you and me know them guys are getting used by the politicians again." "We do but they don't, so let them have their 'being important to somebody' time." The end. January Afternoon Left the names and descriptions for you to fill in. She came over to where I was sitting on the couch. I was sitting with my legs up on the coffee table, feeling the effects of the pot flow through my body. She straddled me and held the back of my head with her hands, bringing me in for a deep kiss. She pulled away, eyes still closed, letting the kiss resonate on her lips. "I feel so good right now," she said. "Me too," we both laughed, feeling the sheer giddiness of the marijuana take over our senses. She took my legs off the coffee table and sat me down properly. She then unzipped my jeans and slid them and my boxers to the floor. My fully erect cock was now waving about in the air. She smiled again and bent down to it, giving everything a good lick from balls to tip. She looked into my eyes and smiled once again. I gasped as she took my entire length into her mouth in one fell swoop. She started sucking my cock with a great eagerness, putting my whole member in her mouth, then sucking it straight to the tip and repeating. After a while of doing this, she popped her mouth off my cock and took my balls into her sweet, warm mouth, sucking them tenderly while still stroking my shaft. "Oh Jesus, I think I'm gonna cum soon," I told her. She willingly resumed her work of sucking my shaft, this time sucking even harder and even faster. I held the back of her head in my hands as she bobbed up and down on my cock, giving her some gentle pushing as she went. She worked me straight up to a climax and as I came in her unbelievably warm mouth, she swallowed all the seed I gave her. "God," she said as she took my dick out of her mouth and took a satisfied gulp, "sucking cock always makes me really, really wet." She smiled her little innocent-girl smile as she lifted up her skirt to reveal her soaking wet panties. She gingerly slid them down her legs and kicked them aside. She straddled me once again as I sat absently on the couch. She lined her sopping pussy up with my still raging hard cock. We both gasped in unison as she sat down on my manhood. "Fuck, you're tight and so fucking wet." "God damn it, you are so fucking big, I love feeling your cock inside of me." We were both so incredibly horny, so incredibly turned on by each other, that us fucking was just bound to happen. And when it did, it was truly great. She started bouncing on my cock. Her pussy was so very wet that it lubricated my cock just perfectly. She started riding me faster, now panting just a little, tossing her head back and letting her incredibly cute, curly, brown hair fall off her shoulders on to her back. "It's really hot in here," she said as she lifted her shirt off over her head and threw it aside. I did the same. She continued to ride my cock, panting a bit more, getting us both hotter. I unclasped her bra, letting her tits bounce freely as she rode me. I put my hands on her hips and started giving her a little extra help as she bounced up and down. I leaned forward and took one of her nipples into my mouth, sucking it just a little. "Fuuuuuuuck," she exclaimed, only adding to both of our excitement. I took my hands off her hips and started fondling her breasts. She moaned in even more pleasure. Her panting grew more frequent as her bouncing slowed to a stop. "I can't go on any longer." I picked her up by the waist, never taking my cock out of her, turned her around and put her down on the couch. She spread her legs out as far as she could and I started ramming my cock into her pussy. "Ohhh fuuuuck meee!" she screamed as I pounded her thoroughly. She started bucking her hips to meet my thrusts, and as she reached climax, her pussy began contracting, pulsing quickly. This sensation was more than enough to send me over the edge. I pulled out of her pussy and she grabbed my cock, jerking it feverishly, trying to finish me off. After a few strokes I came, blowing me wad all over her chest and down her stomach. "God that was amazing," she said as I collapsed onto the couch next to her. We were both exhausted, panting for air from the intense fucking. "Yeah... it was." January Friend "You think we're almost there?" Hailey asked, stretching as she woke from her nap in the passenger seat. She glanced up at her husband Liam, who was speeding down the freeway. "Yeah, hon. Another hour or two." "Okay, good. So, we're visiting with your family all tomorrow, and then what, it's New Year's Eve. What do you think we should do?" "Well, we could always go out and hit the town." "That could be fun. I've always stayed home on New Year's before," she mused. "We could always try and call Devon, see what he's up to," he said, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. "Hmm," she said noncomittally. ----- Hailey had been in her junior year of college when she met Devon. Both studying the same subject, they had struck up a friendship, and an occasional flirtation. She was only a little surprised when he started dating her good friend Maureen - also in their major. She hadn't been bothered, really, but it did cool their flirting somewhat. She'd been so busy her senior year in college that she hadn't paid too much attention to the relationship developing between her two friends, though Maureen did occasionally bitch to her that Devon didn't seem to have much of a sex drive. Still, the longer they dated, the more Devon apparently felt free to resume flirtation with Hailey whenever Maureen wasn't around. Maureen's complaint did make her wonder if Devon was really all bark and no bite. Maybe he flirted because he knew it would most likely not end up going anywhere. Who knew? At first, she felt a little weird about it, but reasoned that if he wasn't even having sex with his girlfriend, he definitely wasn't going to have it with anyone else. Her 21st birthday had been three months before her graduation from college, and she went out to celebrate with Devon and Maureen, and a couple of other friends. She'd had a few cocktails, but was still feeling pretty sober when they returned to the dorms. "Okay, okay, lets grab some drinks and head out to the hot tub!" suggested Maureen. "But I don't have my suit. I'll have to go back to my room to change," said Hailey. "No, come on, just go in your underwear. It probably covers just as much." "I - well, okay," she agreed. While Maureen was changing into her bathing suit, Hailey and Devon grabbed the drinks, and they all trooped out to the hot tub behind the dorms. Hailey popped the top of her "liquid courage" gulping some of it down. "Come on, come on!" encouraged Maureen, clearly already more than tipsy. Hailey tried to ignore Devon's eyes on her as she stripped her jeans and shirt off, standing in the chilly air in her purple striped panties and matching bra. She slid into the water without delay, enjoying the bubbling warmth as it enfolded her. The three friends chatted long after the others in their group had gone home, and soom Hailey felt a hand on her thigh. She glanced up at Devon, but he smiled at her innocently. Eventually, Maureen announced that she was starting to fall asleep, and that she and Devon would go back to her dorm room for the night. Hailey said goodbye to them, feeling almost relieved that Devon had left. She floated on her back, letting her mind wander, until she heard a voice. She sat up suddenly, looking up to where Devon was standing. Her head felt fuzzy from the alcohol. "Why aren't you with Maureen?" "Oh, she's asleep already. She told me to come back and make sure you got home safe." "Mmm, oh, I'm fine," Hailey said, hoisting herself out of the hot tub. She felt a little dizzy, but she shook her head, hoping to clear it. "No, let me walk you back to your room at least," he said, taking her arm. When she stumbled a little, she knew she shouldn't protest, and let him walk along with her. She shivered in the cold breeze, feeling her nipples hardening and standing out through the soaked fabric of her bra. He drew her in a little closer, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "You know, uh, I really wanted to ask you out last year," he said. "Why didn't you?" she asked, surprised. "Well, because I guess I always thought you were dating someone." "I was when we first met, but I broke up with him pretty soon after that." "Oh. Would you have said yes?" It was a dangerous question. Even in her inebriated state, she could see that. They were close to her dorm, but not close enough for her to ignore the question. She thought about it. He was pretty cute, with curly light brown hair and a nice body, perfect for cuddling or... other things. "Yes." They walked up to the door of her suite together, and she unlocked the door. Seemed like her roommates were either out or asleep. She turned to Devon, shuffling her feet, looking up at him and feeling like she was on a date. "Well... thanks for walking me home." He held his arms out for a hug. Oh, what the hell, they'd hugged plenty of times before. Just never when she was in her underwear. She moved into him, let him pull her close. But when she went to draw back, she found him leaning down toward her, covering her mouth with his. She couldn't have said why, but she kissed him back. He slipped his tongue into her mouth, and she felt a flood of moisture in her already-wet panties. God, he was a good kisser. But oh, she had to stop this. If he came into her suite, she knew they would have sex. Maybe it would be amazing, but would it be worth it? She pulled back, breathing faster. "No, no, we can't. Not while you're dating Maureen. It wouldn't be right." "I know, I know you're right. I'm sorry," he said, before he kissed her again. She was crushed up against him, and she felt something hard pressing into her abdomen. She felt heat rush up to her face, and she pushed back again. "Maureen told me you didn't have much of a sex drive," she said. "That's what I told her, but it's mostly that I don't want to have sex with her." "Then why did you ask her out?" He gave her a pained look. "I guess I thought maybe I would start wanting to have sex with her. She is really nice and we have a lot in common. But she's not like you," he said, his eyes roaming her body again. She felt flattered, but... "I have to go inside now. See you tomorrow?" "Yeah, yeah, of course," he said with a smile and a wave. Hailey went in, shut and locked the door, took a deep breath. It was all for the best, she thought, and she knew Devon would agree. If not tonight, then tomorrow, when they were all sober. ----- Hailey wasn't all that surprised when Devon hadn't broken up with Maureen to be with her after that night, and they had never spoken of it since. She met Liam - one of Devon's friends - not long after, and when Devon and Maureen finally broke up, Hailey and Liam were getting serious. It had been three years since that night, and she and Liam were now married. "Sure, I guess we could go see Devon. But I'm not sure it would be a good idea for us all to go drinking," she mused. She had, of course, eventually told Liam about what had happened between herself and Devon. He hadn't thought much of it. "Why, do you think something might happen?" he asked casually. "Maybe," she replied carefully. "Do you want it to?" "Maybe." "Okay, well, let's just see what happens," he said. She narrowed her eyes, looking at him, but his expression gave nothing away. Early on in their relationship, they had discussed who they would want as a third if they ever decided to invite someone into their bedroom. Devon's name had come up as someone they both knew and trusted. So obviously Liam knew she was attracted to Devon, but that conversation had never gone anywhere. Probably never would. ----- The last night of the year. Hailey and Liam were spending it somewhere that almost never got cold, and she was thrilled to be able to pull out a sexy outfit for the night. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but she was dressing for Devon even more than her own husband. She spent longer than usual in front of the mirror, making sure everything looked perfect. After awhile, she got a glimpse of Liam giving her a knowing smile in the mirror. "You ready to go, beautiful?" he asked. "Sure, absolutely." Apparently he could sense her jitters, because he laid his hands on her shoulders. "Hey, it's gonna be a fun night. Whatever happens, we'll deal with it in the morning," he said over his shoulder, heading toward the door. They hadn't seen Devon for over two years, and Hailey wasn't sure what to expect. They pulled up to his apartment complex, and he was waiting on the curb outside, looking just as she remembered. He pulled her into a big hug, the overlong kind he had always given her. "It is so good to see you guys!" he exclaimed. "Come on inside." They followed him into his apartment, done in a stereotypically sparse bachelor-pad style. He led them into the kitchen, pulling out bottles of booze and mixers. "Thought we'd start a little early here before heading downtown. So, rum and coke for Liam, and ah, gin and tonic for the lady?" "You remembered!" Hailey said. She took a hesitant sip from the glass he handed her, feeling the alcohol and carbonation burning the back of her throat slightly. Strong, just like he used to make them as their unofficial party bartender. They stood around chatting and drinking. It wasn't long before Hailey started to feel a warm, throbbing sensation between her legs. She shifted her stance; it happened almost every time she drank - one of the reasons she infrequently drank without Liam around. She shifted again, and this time Liam looked over at her with a grin. "You feeling okay, babe?" She gave him a warning look. "Fine, just a little... hot." Liam and Devon exchanged glances. "You want another one, or should we head out to the bar?" asked Devon. "Let's go." Maybe the cold air would do her some good, though suddenly she didn't want to go anywhere. Still, they went downtown to a bar offering free champagne all night. Bad choice for Hailey, since it got her drunk pretty quick, but wouldn't you know, it was just what Liam handed her. "Asshole," she muttered, as he just laughed. None of them were much for dancing, so they went up to the balcony level, just watching, drinking, talking to others up on that level. When Liam had drained his beer glass, he announced that he was going downstairs for some more. He gave Hailey a little smile, wiggled his eyebrows, and left her with Devon. She had stopped listening to whatever Devon was saying to her. It was so strange to be alone with this man, who she wanted, and who, from his flirtatious jokes, obviously still wanted her, too. "Hailey, hey," he said, getting her attention. When she looked up at him, though, he didn't speak. Instead he leaned down, kissing her intently. Little sparks of pleasure went off between her legs as the champagne kicked in. She remembered what an amazing kisser Devon was as he used his tongue and teeth to elicit little sighs from the back of her throat. She could feel her panties already getting damp under her short skirt. He pulled away, and she wondered if she looked as dazed as he did. He looked around quickly, and then pulled her farther into the shadowy corner near their table. He backed her against the wall and kissed her again before she could say anything. Then she felt his hand trailing up her inner thigh. She squirmed a little, feeling conflicted for a moment. But her indecision evaporated as he slid his hand into her panties, fingertips finding her clit and rubbing as he kissed down her neck. He moved back up to her lips, murmuring against them, "Fuck, I love how wet you are already." Not knowing what to say, she angled her head up, kissing him again. His lips trailed over her cheek to her neck again, and this time, she peered over his shoulder. Liam was standing with his back against the opposite wall, staring at them with a heated expression on his face. They made eye contact, and Devon chose that moment to slide two fingers into her, grinding his palm against her clit. She cried out softly, trying to keep her facial expression neutral, but she couldn't hide it from Liam. He knew what she looked like when she was being pleasured. She wondered if Devon knew they were being watched. Surely he knew Liam had only gone to get a beer and wouldn't be gone that long. Maybe he didn't care. "I've been wanting to fuck you since I first met you," he breathed into her ear, making her shiver. He pistoned his fingers in and out of her quickly, and she could feel the pleasure growing inside her. "I still think about that first kiss we had, how much I wanted to peel off your panties and lick your pussy right in the doorway. Then take you inside and fuck the shit out of you." "Yes, yes," she moaned, "I did, too." "You're going to come, aren't you?" he said, grinding his hand into her firmly. "Yes," she whispered, shuddering as the feelings flooded over her. Her pussy tightened around his fingers and he kissed her again. She gripped his shoulder tightly, and her eyes fluttered open again. Liam was still watching them, one side of his mouth quirked up in a smile. He started to walk over to them, and Hailey looked up at Devon. "He's coming," she said. He reluctantly pulled his hand out of her panties, wiping it awkwardly on a napkin as Liam approached. "Here you guys are," he said, kissing Hailey on the cheek. "The ball's about to drop." They listened as everyone counted down to midnight, and then Hailey wrapped her arms around Liam, kissing him. Taking another swig of champagne, she then turned to Devon, kissing him, too. "You are too sweet," he said. She glanced at both men. "Let's go back to your place." ----- They were all pretty quiet on the way back to Devon's apartment, and when they got there, they just stood in the living room, looking at each other awkwardly. "Well, I guess you guys never got the grand tour before. Want it now?" Devon asked, leading them down the hallway. They had already seen the living room, the kitchen. All that was left was the bedroom, and they all knew it. He opened the door to his bedroom, and they filed in, sitting on the edge of the bed. Devon picked up the remote and turned it on to some random channel, but no one was really watching it. They all knew why they were there. Hailey, at least, was still horny beyond belief from the enormous gin and tonic, and the four (or so!) flutes of champagne Liam had kept handing her. "Fuck it," she muttered, turning to Devon and surprising him with a kiss. He pulled back momentarily and glanced over her shoulder. Whatever he saw must have reassured him, because he leaned in to her, kissing her in that glorious way he had. She moaned into his mouth as he squeezed her breasts gently, feeling her pussy flooding with moisture again. She leaned back, falling onto the bed with Devon on top of her. He pressed his thigh in between her legs as he kissed her, and she felt sparks of pleasure shooting off as the friction heated them up. Devon kissed down her body, then slid his fingertips just underneath the waist band of her skirt. He looked up at her as he slid it, along with her panties, down her legs. Hailey tingled with the anticipation of finally feeling his talented tongue on her, and he didn't disappoint. Pushing her legs apart, he attacked her with a ferocity she wasn't expecting, his tongue dancing over her furiously. When she closed her eyes, she saw herself with Devon in the doorway of her dorm room again, but this time, the ending was different. It was like she'd been waiting for this moment for three years. Devon wasn't better than Liam, exactly, he was just...different, and that difference was what had her coming breathlessly in seconds. Her skin was positively tingling, and as she opened her eyes, she saw her vision was still a little fuzzy. It cleared right up when she saw Devon, his hard cock already out, crawling up between her legs on the bed. She glanced over at Liam, and from the expression on his face, she thought he must have wanted it almost as badly as she did. "Are you sure...this is what you want?" Devon was asking. "Definitely." She wasn't sure where to look as he slid his cock into her. Each of the men was giving her a different, very intense, expression, and she eventually settled for watching him sink into her. It was so big inside of her that she thought she might come again just from the feel of it, but as good as it felt, it was nothing compared to the waves of pleasure that poured over her when he started fucking her. Her arm flung out, fingers grasping at nothing in particular, and she felt her hand being gripped by Liam. She turned her head to see him watching them, and saw that he was guiding her hand toward his own hard cock. He shifted closer then, and she curled her upper body around to take him into his mouth. He was so hard, like a rod of steel in her mouth. She ran her hand up and down her shaft as she sucked him, moving her head around the head of his cock. She looked up and saw that his eyes were still riveted to the spot where she was joined with Devon, and another thrill ran through her at the very thought. Then he was leaning over slightly, and he was reaching for her. His fingertips brushed her clit as he started making firm circles around it. She cried out then, mouth still full of his cock, and suddenly another orgasm was rushing up from behind her. She writhed, caught between the men as she came harder than she ever had before, keyed up from the alcohol and the satisfaction of old desires. "Oh God," Devon was muttering above her. He pulled out, turning her onto her hands and knees. Liam changed his position again, moving right in front of her and grabbing hold of her hair to help her stay upright. Then Devon slid his cock home, deeper than it had been able to go before. He pumped his hips against her, fucking her harder than she'd thought possible. She felt herself tightening up against him reflexively and he groaned behind her. "Fuck, I don't think I'm going to last much longer," he said. Hailey pulled Liam's cock out of her mouth, stroking it firmly with one hand while she looked back at Devon. "Yeah, come on, give it to me Devon. I want your come in my pussy," she said with a devilish little grin. He only groaned, picking up the pace and slamming into her so fast that it nearly took her breath away. Turning back to Liam, she licked her lips, alternately sucking him into her mouth and talking to him. "Baby...you like watching another man fuck your wife?" "Uh-huh," he grunted. "You wanna watch him come inside your wife?" "Yesssss." "Are you gonna...mmm...gonna make me swallow your come while another man fucks me?" "Fuck yes!" he said, as the first shot of come surprised her, landing on her cheek. She closed her mouth over him, sucking it down as he gripped her hair almost hard enough to hurt. Behind her, Devon was slowing down a little, and then he was coming too, pumping his seed inside her. She felt his cock jerking inside her and she moaned, curling her toes under from the sensation. Hailey rolled onto her back, looking up at Liam upside-down. "So baby...we're staying the night, right?"