42 comments/  84360 views/  117 favorites

I'll Be Home for Christmas

By: ilikeitlikethat18



Happy Holidays all! I'm really excited to submit this story for several reasons. It's been a long time since I've submitted anything and this is a story I've had on the brain for a long time. I had initially started it before the Christmas contest started, but as I perfected my story the time slipped away, and now the contest is almost over. Regardless, I hope that you will vote and enjoy this story over the Christmas holiday and for the rest of the year(s). 

This story has a lot to it. It is not short. It may not be a "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" type of story which is one page and straight to sex, but I promise you the build-up makes the sex so much sweeter. Please feel free to comment and send feedback. Big thanks to my editor! 

All characters are 18 and over. 

*

"Honey, can you help me in here?" my mom called from the room next door to mine, which used to be my brother Ryder's. I got up from my desk and stood against the doorway of his room, my eyes flitting back and forth. My mom was sitting amidst a pile of crap from the closet, the dresser's contents nearby, and the bed half made. My eyes narrowed as she looked up at me sheepishly. "I was trying to clean things up and one thing led to another," she trailed off with a shrug of her shoulders. "Help me up, dear." I took hold of her hand and tugged, bringing her to her feet. 

"Can you bring a few empty boxes from the garage? We'll get all this in there and then we can clean it up and finish making the bed." 

"Are we having guests?" I finally spoke, my voice monotone and strained. 

"Your brother is coming home for Christmas break!" My mom's eyes shined brightly and a smile broke out on her face. I slowly turned around and silently left the room, heading downstairs to retrieve the boxes, my head spinning. I opened the garage door and headed down the steep set of stairs, holding tightly on the railing. 

Why was he coming home now for break? Why hadn't he told me? Or at least, why hadn't mom sprung the news earlier? 

Re-entering the bedroom with the boxes, I put the best fake smile on that I could, my heart thumping in my chest. I felt like throwing up. "Thanks honey!" My mom said with a smile. I nodded and left the bedroom before she could force me to help organize, clean, and make his damn bed. 

To say that my brother and I had never really gotten along would be both an understatement and a lie. There had been a time when he and I had been quite close and one would never have suspected that we'd turn out to be as vicious as we had. Ryder is three years older than me, giving us what felt like the worst possible age gap. Not quite enough to let us leave each other alone, and not enough for us to be forced to get along. Just enough for my brother to breathe down my neck every possible second of the day and for us to bicker like unhappy spouses. 

When he had gone away to college three years ago, I had been relieved. Sure, maybe a tiny part of me deep inside had felt sad, only because it left me alone at home with my parents. But most of me had been so grateful of the age difference and the fact that he had chosen a college across the country. Of course, the fact that Ryder got accepted to Yale only helped him earn more points with our parents. They already favored him as the first born and were constantly suspicious of my actions. Somehow he had convinced them of his perfect ways and hidden all of his devious acts. That was definitely part of why he and I had never really gotten along and fought constantly. We had barely spoken to each other in the three years that he'd been gone, including the first and only time he had been home to visit. I'd always loved my brother and thought he was handsome and smart and funny, but the way he treated me had driven a wedge further and further into our friendship and sibling rivalry had been born. Badly. 

I shivered at the memory of his arrival the last time he'd visited. He and his best friend from high school, Adrian, had visited during their freshman year Spring break. At that point, he hadn't completely earned my parents trust to stay at school or go traveling during breaks. Adrian and my brother had spent most of their week home out partying or playing video games in the living room, only paying attention to me when Ryder had something to yell about. 

Adrian always looked like he felt bad, but never stuck up for me. I always had this silly fantasy that Adrian (who I always had had a little crush on) would be like my knight in shining armor, whisking me away from the asshole of a brother I'd been cursed with. It was never the case, of course. I'd seen Adrian a few times throughout the first year or two of college, when he'd come home on his own for breaks, and he always gave me wickedly handsome smiles that made my stomach queasy. He would say hi or ask how I was doing, but it was casual and quick. I wondered if he and my brother were still friends. 

My mom came by my room hours later, as I was reminiscing about a fight Ryder and I had had before he left for college. 

*** 

Ryder had stormed into my room, knocking some things off my desk with the strength of his hand, making me jump a little. "You better not fuck up any of my hookups while I'm gone, kitten." he said with a sneer. I stared back wide-eyed. "I know you told Melanie not to sleep with me and I'm warning you, when I come home again, I better not hear you've done it to anyone else. I'm gonna need my resources in case Yale girls are too stuck-up and bookworms." I rolled my eyes at my brother's usual piggish attitude towards women. He saw me and reached forward, grabbing the back of my hair. He leaned close to my face and growled, "Just because you're a frigid bitch who's not getting any doesn't mean I should be so unlucky. Speaking of which, I don't wanna hear about you losing your virginity to some jock or stoner from school when I get back. And don't give me back talk like that again." he yanked my hair roughly and let go, turning and walking out, slamming the door behind him. 

*** 

I was just thinking about how badly my hair had hurt that day, when my mom popped her head in. "Your brother is going to be here at ten. Mind having a snack now so I can prepare a late dinner for everyone?" I looked at the clock. It was eight. My dad would be home from work soon, Friday being the one day a week he stayed late to do some financial work, and would be overjoyed, if he didn't know already. I nodded and brushed by her to head down to the kitchen, my stomach rumbling right on cue. I had no idea what had happened to my brother, but for as long as I could remember, he was a violent, angry person, and took a lot of it out on me. I didn't even want to imagine what he did to his sexual partners. The way he had called me kitten (the nickname he had fondly given me when we were much younger for some unexplainable reason) with such hate had hurt me; he had practically spat it out like something that tasted revolting. 

I sat down at the kitchen counter with a glass of water and some crackers. I had lost my appetite, despite my stomach growling. How had my mom just not told me he was coming? And not only that, that he was coming tonight? It had been more than two years since I'd seen him and three years since he lived here. I had nothing to tell me that Ryder had changed, so I was bracing myself for the worst. "He's going to be alone, right?" I said to my mom as she came down the stairs and I chomped on a few crackers. 

My mom shrugged. "As far as I know, Kenzie, but you know him. He could be bringing a friend or a lady friend. Who knows?" I shot her a look and she shrugged, bending to look into the fridge. The thought of my brother bringing a girl home was even worse than the idea of him bringing a college buddy home. Unless he was friends with Adrian again; that would be a different story. And well, that I wouldn't mind. However, now that I had turned eighteen, my brother would probably have a whole different view of bringing a guy to stay in our house. 

My dad arrived home as my mom and I were sitting in silence at the counter, though my mom was chomping pretty loudly on her lettuce. He gave us both a look and then kissed the top of my head before giving my mom a kiss on the lips. My phone buzzed with a new text, saving me from watching their intimacy at a time when my stomach was already incredibly queasy. "Hear Ryder's coming home for break. You gonna have to sneak to see me?" The text was from the guy I'd been casually seeing for a couple of months, Jordan. He had gone to high school with my brother but stayed in town for college. Los Angeles has everything; I always wondered why Ryder wanted to go to a college so far away. "No, I can't see you during break." I replied. 

It was true that with Ryder home I would be on a short leash, but I was also feeling a bit overwhelmed. I was still a virgin and Jordan had his mind set on changing that. Not that I minded our romps in his sheets, but I certainly wasn't about to give up my virginity to a guy I barely knew and knew my brother. If he found out about it, he'd probably give Jordan two black eyes. They weren't friends, but Jordan wasn't exactly discreet about telling his friends that he and I were hooking up. I wouldn't be surprised if my brother found out on his first few days in town. My phone buzzed again, "Such a shame. What about tonight, Kenz? I could pick you up and have you home before ten." I had to admit I wanted to see Jordan before my brother was home and all hell would be let loose. "Pick me up in 20." I texted him back as I headed up the stairs, closing and locking the bathroom door behind me as I undressed. 

There was something about Jordan that kept me coming back, despite the fact that I suspected he wasn't looking for something serious. I knew he was dating other people when we first started seeing each other, even though that had stopped after a couple of weeks. He often talked about us getting more serious, but I felt like it was more of his way of getting in my pants than it was truthful. Stepping into the shower, I quickly washed my body and shampooed my hair. I suspected we'd be getting dirty quite rapidly, but there was nothing wrong with showing up fresh. I ran my fingers over my neatly trimmed pubic hair and shaved pussy lips, wondering why it turned Jordan on so much. It seemed like the fad from the porn industry these days was for perfectly hairless pussies, but I guess that made him feel like women were little girls instead of women. I had to practically convince him to at least let me shave my pussy lips! I shrugged and turned off the water, wrapping a plush towel around my body. I scurried across the hall. "Kenz? Are you going out?" my mom called from downstairs. Apparently she hadn't even noticed that I had left. 

"I'll be back before ten, I promise. I know I have to be home when dinner and Ryder are here." I said, rolling my eyes. 

"Okay hun." My mom said with an audible sigh. I just shook my head and pulled on a lacy black thong and matching bra. Not that Jordan ever noticed or cared what I could be wearing. I've come to the conclusion that I could show up in a garbage bag with granny panties underneath and he'd still do the awful things he did to me and beg me to let him fuck me. I don't know if he has a virgin fetish or just wants me that bad, but it's certainly flattering. Tugging a pair of jeans up my legs and throwing a black sweater on, I looked like a wet-haired catalog picture from Abercrombie or something. It was winter in Los Angeles, after all, not the North or East coast where it actually snowed. I grabbed my purse and whizzed down the stairs. Jordan had already been waiting for a few minutes. 

"Hey sexy." He said, nuzzling my neck and still damn hair. "You got all clean for me! I guess I can excuse the lateness." He grinned and nipped my ear, hand reaching under me to squeeze my butt. "So we've got...an hour?" he revved the engine and sped off. Luckily he didn't live too far away and even luckier for me, my mom didn't look outside to see who had picked me up. I suspected that my mom knew I was seeing someone, but she never talked to me about it. 

As soon as we arrived at his house, he practically dragged me inside, where he threw me on his bed. He peeled my jeans and thong off in one swoop, sliding between my legs and pushing my sweater up and over my head. Once he had my bra off and I lay before him naked, he let his eyes wander my body as he had every single time we'd hooked up. It was like he still wasn't bored of seeing my naked body spread out for him. "You're so fucking hot." He groaned, the sound resonating through my body as if he'd growled right in my ears, as he kissed my inner thighs, making me shiver. "And this fucking pussy tastes so good." Ever since I'd stopped shaving completely, he couldn't get enough of eating me out. Seemed like the opposite I'd expect of a man, but whatever floats his boat. His tongue slid over my clit and I whimpered. I knew I needed to stop seeing him, considering it would go nowhere and I didn't have any feelings for him, but his mouth just felt so goddamn good on my pussy! 

He slid two long fingers hard into me and I jerked my hips upwards, forcing my clit deeper into his mouth. "Yeah, you like it when I do that, don't you?" My phone buzzed loudly in my jeans, causing me to look over at it. "Ignore it!" he said roughly, slapping me lightly on the breast as his fingers slid in and out of me. I whimpered again and pushed my hips upwards. 

"Wait, wait." Jordan said, pulling his fingers out of me so he could use both hands to undo his pants. "I gotta get these off. They're so tight." He pulled his jeans off, freeing his cock. He pulled his boxers off and lay on the bed on his back, wrapping a hand around my hip and helping me get on top of him, my hands and mouth finding his length as his fingers found their way back inside me. I rubbed myself hard against his mouth. He knew that was my favorite way to get off. There was just something about riding a guy's face that got a girl going. 

I tried to pay attention to the blow job I was giving him, but the way he was working his tongue had me grinding on him and within a couple of minutes, my fingers were gripping his thighs tightly as I rode out my orgasm. "Don't worry about it, babe. I should be getting you home soon anyways." He said with a wicked smile as he kissed my thigh. I don't know what it is about me that kept him around so selflessly. What guy lives to get a girl off and doesn't even care if he gets off every time? 

Helping me into my jeans, bra, and sweater, sans panties, Jordan stuffed the panties into his jacket pocket. "For safe keeping." He got his boxers and jeans back on, and we walked out to the car silently. He and I never had much to talk about, which was just another reason that I didn't get too excited to see him. I mean, he was a fun time, but it was nothing I saw lasting more than another couple of months at the most. He wrapped his hand around my thigh as he drove me home, and I glanced down at it. There was something that didn't feel right about him touching me intimately outside of the bedroom, as weird as that sounded to my own mind. 

"That's not very safe driving." I said gently, giggling. He took the hint and put his hand back on the wheel. As nine-thirty rolled around, we pulled up in front of the house. 

"So, when are we going to be exclusive, huh?" he asked, smiling at me. 

"You know I'm not seeing anyone else, Jordan." 

"Yeah, but you won't even tell anyone we're seeing each other or see me over break. You've never brought me home." 

"Oh, come on. Is this really more than casual rendezvouses and you trying to have sex with me?" Jordan glared at me and reached across me to open the door. That was my cue to leave.

The conversations we had about this never ended well and he never wanted to admit it was true. "I'll see you after break, okay?" he didn't answer and I slammed the door behind me. What an awful Friday! I couldn't even have a guilt free orgasm or look forward to the weekend without having a fight with a guy and having bad news thrown on me! I started upstairs until I saw my mom hustling around the kitchen trying to prepare dinner. 

"Need some help?" I offered kindly, putting my hand on her shoulder. She nodded and pointed towards the veggies on top of a cutting board on the counter. I washed my hands and started cutting up the veggies as my mom cleared her throat, preparing for the speech I knew was coming.   

"Honey, I know this is a big surprise. Your father and I didn't want to tell you until we knew for certain. Ryder had mixed feelings about coming home since it's been a while." I cringed just hearing his name, but she didn't notice as usual. "I think it'll be good for you guys to catch up and bond." As if. 

By ten o'clock, dinner was fresh off the stove and we were setting the table. I hadn't changed, so I was still in just my sweater and jeans, the memory of my orgasm and stolen panties still damn against the inside of my pants. I flushed red at the thought that Ryder may be able to tell I wasn't wearing any underwear. 

Ten fifteen rolled around and both my parents were sitting at the dinner table, obviously itching to start eating. A knock at the front door startled us all, and my mom gestured for me to open it. The last thing I wanted to do was be that close to my brother, but it looked like I had no other choice. Opening the door swiftly, I was face to face with someone I hardly recognized. It was a less-tan, muscled and chiseled, five o'clock shadowed, scruffy haired, handsome as fuck version of my brother I preferred to pretend didn't exist and wasn't standing in front of me looking so freaking good. I didn't even register Adrian standing behind him. "Close your mouth, Kenz." he said, with a sly smile, wrapping my body close to his in a big hug. If he was anyone else, I'd have been thinking about how hard and good his body felt against mine and at the way he took his time extracting himself. He glanced down at me, his eyes grazing my body. He coughed loudly, "Looks like someone hit puberty!" Rustling my hair, he plopped down at the table. Adrian followed behind, leaving both their bags by the door. 

"Thanks for making dinner guys!" Adrian said with a smile. "Love coming over here waaaay more than my own house." he winked at me to emphasize his statement. Ryder dug right into the food, not saying anything else to our parents or myself. I saw my mom and dad look at each other silently, but my dad just shook his head. 

"So, uh, how's school going, son?" my dad said warily, wanting to desperately bond with Ryder, his perfect son on the pedestal. 

"Great. Pulling a 4.0." Ryder said between bites, which was more like a general inhaling of his food. "Without sleeping with the teachers." he grinned at me and I blushed. How did he get away with talking like that to my parents?! "So it's cool that Adrian stays here? His parents are gone for break." Ryder asked half heartedly, knowing he didn't leave them an option. 

"Of course, honey. Anything for our star student," my mom said, chewing slowly. She had apparently lost her appetite as much as I had, though not likely for the same reason. I couldn't believe the way he had looked at me and forced me into such a close hug. We hadn't talked in so long and the last time I'd seen him, we certainly hadn't left on hugging terms. I shook the thought away and tried to eat a little so I wouldn't go to bed hungry and miserable. "Oh, Kenzie, I signed you up to be in the Christmas Eve Day pictures with Santa booth at the mall. My friend Ronda usually plays Mrs. Clause. She came down with a terrible cold and didn't want to risk getting the kids sick, even though it's in a few days. So you will be filling in for her. As of right now, it looks okay for her husband. I may be trying to help her find a replacement for Santa if he gets sick. Please don't disappoint me by coming up with an excuse of why you can't. It's a big event over there and they are counting on you." She smiled, knowing that I wouldn't dare disappoint her as I had so many other times in unknown ways. 


I'll Be Home for Christmas



"Do you have to ask?! Yes!" My brother would kill me if I came home smelling like weed, but I could chew some gum and spray some perfume before I got home. Without hesitating, I stripped off my gym clothes, threw them into my bag, and got back into my previous outfit. Getting stoned would likely be just as effective as hitting the treadmill. And a lot less sweaty! I followed Jackie outside to her little sports car and she drove us up the hill a few miles to a secluded little spot best known as a make out spot, but better known to us as a good place to smoke. I didn't do it very often, but once in a blue moon was a nice way to relax. Jackie had been the one to corrupt me into smoking for the first time, so it was our thing. Most of the kids at my school were doing much worse, which was my way of justifying it, of course. 

As she lit the joint she had pulled from her purse, she gave me a look that I knew meant she wanted me to spill the beans. Jackie was one of the only friends I had who actually knew about the horrible relationship between me and Ryder. Since she'd never met him, it gave me someone safe to talk to. I took a long hit and held it in for as long as I could, before half-coughing, half-exhaling. 

"I'm so uncomfortable with him being home. It's already so awkward and it's only been like a day. He's a jerk and he gets under my skin and he brought Adrian and Adrian saw me naked by accident. And then when I saw Jordan earlier, he started saying weird shit that reminded me of my brother while we were hooking up and who wants to think of their asshole brother while they're messing around with someone?" I realized I was talking really fast and took a breath as she passed the joint back to me. 

"Oh sweetie." She gave me a light hug from the side and patted my hair. "It'll be okay. He's only there for Christmas, right? Like a week? And you know if you need to get away, you can always call me." 

"Thanks, J!" I said with a smile. I let her hold onto the joint for most of the time as we chatted, knowing I didn't want to smoke too much. By the time we'd finished the joint, I was already a bit of a giggling mess, something that came naturally to me without drugs. Jackie dropped me off at my car and I managed to make it home in one piece. Popping a piece of gum in my mouth, I walked through the front door. My brother and Adrian were sitting on the couch playing Call of Duty with the volume up loud, both of them wearing headsets. I came up behind Adrian and put my hands over his eyes, laughing as he screeched. 

"Hey Kenzie." He said, continuing to play and not turning around to look at me. "How was the gym?" My brother turned around and glared at me. I sniffed the sleeve of my sweater. I definitely smelled like weed and the look my brother was giving me told me that he smelled it too. 

"I'll talk to you about that shit later, you little bitch." He said with a sneer, turning back to the game. I shrugged and headed upstairs, slamming my door behind me and falling on my bed giggling. "Make us something for lunch!" he called from downstairs. Lunch? I looked at my cell phone, which read 5 PM. I guess considering we had lunch around 2:30, it was an appropriate time for lunch. 

"Cook for yourself!" I said, as my stomach grumbled. I lay on my stomach facing the window on the opposite wall from the door, opening the curtain and watching cars drive past and people jogging and walking dogs and various other things. I heard a creak on the stairs and my door flew open and closed behind me. I glanced over my shoulder. "Hi Adrian." 

"What are you doing?" he rested a hand on my back. "You say you went to the gym, but you smell like weed and sex." 

I blushed. "Shut up, you know I'm a virgin." 

"That doesn't mean you don't do other things." 

"I've only messed around with one guy." That much was true. I'd kissed a few guys, but Jordan was the only guy I'd really done anything with. "And I've only smoked a few times. Is he really mad?" By "he", I meant my brother, which we both knew. I giggled. "I don't care if he's mad." I rolled onto my back and looked up at Adrian standing above me. "You know, I waited years for you to see me like a normal girl and not just a little sister. And then you had to see me naked. That was so embarrassing!" He ran his hand up the front of my sweater, stopping at the bottom of my breasts. 

"It wasn't embarrassing for me. You're beautiful." He said nervously, looking back at the door. "But you know nothing can ever happen between us, little lady. Your brother would straight up kill me." He grinned and tousled my hair. "You hide up in here and I'll try to calm him down about the weed. Maybe I'll make us all lunch since you made breakfast?" 

"Thanks, Adrian." I smiled at him and ran my hand down his cheek. "You're not so bad looking yourself by the way." He raised an eyebrow and left my room, shutting the door gently behind him. I could hear the quiet rumblings of the guys' voices as Adrian banged pans around in the kitchen. I knew my brother had smoked weed for years and done much worse stuff as well, so the look he gave me was very confusing. I was not a little girl anymore! 

I lay around in bed until the smell of pasta sauce came wafting upstairs and reminded me how hungry I was. I checked myself in the mirror, seeing how red my eyes were and how tousled my hair looked and shrugged. Not much I could do about that. I skipped down the stairs, taking a seat at the counter in the kitchen, grinning at Adrian as he finished up cooking what smelled like spaghetti and chicken breast, with leftover veggies from last night. "Thanks for making lunch." 

"No problem. You cooked us breakfast." Adrian said, even as Ryder grumbled and glared at us both. I grabbed at the plate that Adrian handed me and started inhaling it, reminding myself of the way guys normally ate. I was so hungry that I barely stopped to taste how good it was. "And obviously you didn't eat enough of it." He took a seat next to Ryder, the both of them watching me scarf down the noodles. 

"Yeah, too much weed clouding your normally classy brain?" My brother rolled his eyes, taking a bite off his plate. "You're lucky mom wasn't home to smell that shit on you." 

"As if mom would know what weed smelled like." 

"Either you and I have a talk after lunch or she's going to find out." 

"Jesus, okay. Can I eat in peace now?" I started chewing slowly, trying to enjoy the taste of Adrian's surprisingly good cooking, but Ryder's presence had taken away my appetite. "Never mind. Thanks, Adrian," I pushed the plate towards them and got up. I was still high and my mind was whirling. The last thing I needed right now was a serious discussion. I lay down on the couch in front of the TV and turned on Scrubs. I could feel the tension in the air and knew that my brother was probably going to lay into me the first second he could. His best friend being there was likely the only reason he hadn't already started screaming at me. 

"Hi loves!" My mom came in the door, arms full of groceries. Adrian rushed to help as I pulled a blanket over me, hoping to cover any possible leftover scent of weed. I turned up the TV and buried deeper into the couch, giggling profusely at Zach Braff's humor. "How was your day? Did you guys get along? I only have a few minutes before I have to leave again for a meeting, but I wanted to bring home some groceries. Looks like you made breakfast and lunch for yourselves, though. I'm so proud." She joked with my brother, nudging him as he ate at the counter. I tore my eyes away from the kitchen and looked back at the screen. I always wondered how they decided to make Zach Braff and Donald Faison best friends in Scrubs. It was an unlikely pair in real life. That much was for sure. I felt a warm hand on my foot and saw that Adrian had sat down on the arm of the couch by my feet. 

"Hey. So, I managed to convince your brother to take it easy on you. But knowing him, that doesn't mean it's not going to be nasty." 

"Thanks for trying." I said my eyes still on the TV. My mom bustled by, not bothering to kiss me or say goodbye to Adrian. She merely waved and shut the front door behind her. I pulled my legs under me and tucked the blanket under my chin. "Can I just enjoy my high before my dad gets home or my brother inevitably screams at me?" 

"I'm just trying to help." He sat down next to me on the couch and didn't say another word. The silence was comforting and his hand rested on my feet, keeping them warm. Two episodes later and my dad had called to say he was Christmas shopping with my mom and they'd be home around nine. Great, plenty of time for me to be home without either of my parents, so my brother could safely yell at me. Speaking of the devil, right as I was thinking about him, he came over to the couch and addressed Adrian first. 

"Bro, do you think you could stay down here so I can talk to my sister upstairs?" 

"Are you sure that --" 

"Yeah, we'll be fine." He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me off the couch and led me upstairs, his fingers tight around my forearm. When we reached his room, he tried to get me to step inside, but I shook my head. 

"We can talk right here, Ryder." At least Adrian could bear witness to what he heard if it got completely out of hand this way. My brother drew in a breath sharply and glared at me. 

"What the fuck were you thinking, going out dressed like that to meet who-knows-who and getting stoned? You think that I wouldn't know what that shit smells like?" 

"Are you kidding me, you smoke weed all the time. And who the fuck knows what else! And I didn't go to meet some random person, I went to the gym." 

"Don't you talk to me like that, Kenzie. I'm a grown ass man; I can do what I want. And I'm away at college, not still living at home. Do you know what mom and dad would do if they caught you?" 

"The same shit they do anyways, yelling at me for no reason, because I'm not a 'star student' like you?" He looked like I slapped him in the face and growled, 

"How fucking dare you! I earned my grades!" 

"That doesn't mean you're not doing a bunch of illegal, bad shit meanwhile." 

"This is not about my actions. This is about you, you little bitch." 

"What are you mad, because I got stoned while you're stuck here playing video games?" 

"I'm mad because my little sister has no business dressing like a little hoochie mama and smoking pot. What else do you do that I don't know about, huh?" 

"I don't do anything. I have to act like a perfect little girl, because you've set the world's best example somehow, so convincingly, any fuck up I make is a gigantic mess." 

"How often do you get stoned? Are you selling yourself for drugs?" 

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" I exploded, shoving him into his room and slamming the door behind me. "Are you seriously fucking suggesting that I sell my body just to smoke weed? What kind of person do you seriously think I am?" 

"You're acting like a stuck-up little sl—" 

"Don't you dare!" I put my hand up to slap him and he caught my wrist, grabbing me hard, pushing my back into the door. 

"Don't YOU dare talk back to me like that. I'm just trying to make sure you're not getting into trouble!" 

"Yeah right! You're such a hypocrite!" he was fuming mad, glaring daggers at me, as he stood mere inches away from me. My brother was six three, towering over my five foot frame, and I practically shook with anger and fear of what he was capable of doing. Letting my wrist go, he ran his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes in an obvious attempt to calm himself. 

"Just because I can handle myself doesn't mean you can. And I know you didn't really go to the gym. Who goes to the gym dressed like a little fucking tramp?" I decked him square in the jaw before he could say another word and regretted it the second I did it. 

"Fucking bitch! You're such a shitty sister! Fucking accident that never should have happened." He cursed, rubbing his jaw as he shoved me away from him. Tears welled up in my eyes and I stormed out of his room, slamming the door so hard on the hinges that it shook. I slammed my own door behind me, as I crossed the hall into my bedroom, crawling into my bed and burying my head into my pillow as I cried. I could hear my brother's door open and his feet slam down the steps, surely going into the kitchen to bitch about me to Adrian and drink from my parents' liquor cabinet. 

I couldn't believe that my brother had actually gone so low as to call me an accident. It didn't even matter if it was true; he had said it to hurt me and it had worked. He and I had fought through the years, but it had never gotten as bad or as malicious as tonight's fight had. It had drained me emotionally and physically. I felt exhausted from crying and fighting and all of the stress. By the time I stopped crying, my high had fully worn off and I was just left feeling depressed and sleepy. My phone buzzed a couple times, signaling I had two new texts, but I didn't even want to look at them. I buried my face under my comforter and hoped that my parents wouldn't call us all for family dinner when they arrived home. The last thing I needed was my mom and dad questioning me why I was crying and the potential for another blow up, or even worse, my brother telling my parents why he was yelling at me in the first place. 

A few hours later, I woke up and looked around my room. It was dark out and obviously late in the night. I could hear the muffled sounds of my parents' voices downstairs, mixed with the TV and Adrian's voice. I couldn't hear Ryder; he was most likely drunk and sulking. I got out of bed and walked across the hallway to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me and splashing water on my face. I bent over the sink, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and just leaned there for a minute, not wanting to move. A soft knock sounded on the door, scaring the hell out of me. "What?" I said roughly, my voice hoarse from crying. 

"Honey, are you okay?" It was my mom and she sounded concerned. 

"I'm okay, just really tired, mom." I opened the door and smiled at her, passing by towards my room. "I think I'm going to call it a night." 

"It's pretty late, and your father and I didn't sleep in. I don't think your brother and Adrian slept as late as you did either, so we're going to call it a night soon as well. Sleep tight, hun." She gave me a warm hug and let me go off on my own to my room. 

As soon as I'd peeled my clothes off and crawled into bed, I looked at my phone. A couple texts from friends that I ignored, but the most recent one was from Jordan. "I wish I could have made you come at the gym today. I've been hard thinking about it all day." I grinned. That was a nice note to go to bed on. I set my phone next to my pillow and closed my eyes. My pussy throbbed in response to the message, obviously still angry with me for being so close to orgasm earlier and not getting a proper release. 

I closed my eyes and let my fingers slide downwards over my body, cupping my breasts and stomach and hips. My fingers found their place between my legs. I was so after everything, but my body needed some attention more than I cared about Ryder's stupid tactics. 

It never seemed to matter if Jordan got me off or not, as soon as I was alone, all I wanted to do was rub myself until I came. My eyes fluttered closed as I tried to think about anything but what was right at the front of my mind: Adrian walking in on me naked. It's not like it wasn't likely to happen at some point or another, but the way he had reacted was so primal and sexy, it had stuck in my mind. 

My fingers found my clit wet and hot, and I moaned out at the sensation. The way Adrian had looked at me and not even attempted to force his eyes away really brought out the exhibitionist in me. I had always had a discovery fantasy, although not quite like that. I had always fantasized that I would be having sex with someone, especially something taboo like an especially dirty type of sex or sex with someone of importance like a teacher or a priest who I shouldn't be doing the nasty with, and getting walked in on. I always thought I'd come on the spot, just from the excitement and embarrassment of being caught. 

But of course, you have to fuck to be caught fucking. And that much hadn't happened yet. I rubbed my clit hard with my thumb, letting one finger slide down and inside my slick tightness. I pulled the finger out of my pussy and let the wetness dribble onto my already wet clit, whimpering at the warm sensation. I felt close already, my body tensing in preparation for the orgasm that was about to wreck my body. As I rubbed my clit in fast circles, my moans picked up in volume and got higher in pitch. I kept biting my lip to keep it down, but it felt so good, the moans kept slipping out. 

The thought that my brother and Adrian were right next door sent a chill down my back in a creepy and unexpected way. Thinking about the fact that either of them could walk in on me right now made my body tremble and suddenly I was coming. I shrieked in protest and then groaned lowly as I kept rubbing my clit, my back arching off the bed and the orgasm tearing through my body as my legs shook. It didn't last long, but it was powerful and my body felt tingly as my back came back down on the bed. 

My cheeks burned. How could I have just had an orgasm over the idea of my brother and his friend walking in on me touching myself? What was wrong with me? I brought slick fingers to my comforter, wiping them off ashamedly, the smell of me thick in the air. 

"Kenzie, you okay?" I heard the voice, concerned, coming through my door. It was Ryder. Ryder was standing outside my door while I lay naked and still coated in my own cum. 

"Uh, yeah, I'm okay." 

"I heard you scream or something. I thought you hurt yourself." I pulled the comforter over my head in embarrassment. Oh my god, he'd heard me cum. 

"No, I'm fine. Thanks." I said, wanting to crawl into the shell of my bed and never come out. I heard the door open and Ryder stepped inside, shutting it behind him. I pulled the blanket down to my chest, holding it tight against me. "What are you doing?" I asked with wide eyes. 

"What are YOU doing?" he said, leaning against the door, a smirk on his face. "I wanted to talk to you about some stuff, but I thought you were sleeping. When I heard you yell out, well, now I know you're awake." It was obvious that he was pretty intoxicated, but he wasn't slurring. Obviously college had taught him how to carry on a conversation while drunk. 

"I didn't say you could come in." 

"Since when do I have to ask?" 

"Since you practically ripped my hair out of my head after calling me a frigid bitch and ordering me not to lose my virginity to any stupid jocks last time you were here. And then you called me a stupid bitch and a mistake!" I spat out, suddenly angry. Tears sprung to my eyes but I fought them back. The last thing I wanted was for my brother to know he'd made me cry. I didn't know what to expect from him if I did cry. The normal brotherly thing to do would be to comfort his little sister and apologize, but knowing Ryder, he'd probably gloat. He had just arrived home a day earlier and he had already managed to make me feel like total shit a couple of times, with his smirking and rude comments. The look in his eyes, however, was unexpected. It looked like he felt...bad. 

"Oh, Kenz." He looked down, shoving his hands into his pockets. Was he really going to drop the act? "I just wanted to make sure you didn't make a stupid mistake and fuck some stupid jerk who didn't know what he was doing and would tell the whole school." He sat down on the edge of my bed without asking. My heart started beating faster. I should have told him to stay away, but then he would ask why and I would have to admit I was naked under the blanket. I pulled it even tighter against me as he awkwardly tried to explain himself without being sappy. "I wanted to protect you, I guess. I was mad." 




I'll Be Home for Christmas



"I was mad too!" I said loudly. 

"I didn't mean to hurt you." He let his hand slide gently into my hair, touching the back of my neck. "I'm not a good guy, Kenzie. I was and am ashamed of being such a bad big brother to you. Why do you think I haven't talked to you since then? What type of role model am I? Drinking and smoking pot and fucking every girl I could, I wasn't the type of guy you should have had to look up to." I could smell his breath, sweet like wine or some kind of mixer. 

"Why didn't you ever apologize? Explain this to me before it was too late and we hated each other?"

"I never hated you. I dreaded coming home to see you look at the way you're looking at me now. And then I got home and you answered the door and you're all grown up and fucking beautiful and I felt like a dick." His hand slid from the back of my neck to the top of my shoulder that peeked out the top of the blanket. "I get out of control. I have a bad temper. And it's no excuse for any of the things I've said to you." He sighed. 

"You're just saying this shit because you're drunk." I'd never had a guy this close to me while I was naked except Jordan and it was confusing the hell out of my body. Everything in me physically wanted to respond to his closeness, but he was my brother and that was ridiculous! Just because he had a great body and was good looking didn't mean my body should be responding to him in a sexual way. Right? 

"I might be really drunk, but I mean it. I wouldn't say this shit when I'm sober, because I'm on too much of a high horse to admit that you're a much better person than I am." 

I didn't know what to say. I was shocked and overwhelmed and most of all, so confused. 

"Thanks." I whispered. 

"I'm sorry I grabbed you and I'm sorry I called you a mistake. I'm sorry I said all those mean things." He tugged my hair gently, "And I'm sorry for last time. I hate that I hurt you. It's just so hard for me. It's been easier to stay away. Especially when I heard you were seeing someone. You know how I feel about someone being with you like that. I can't stand thinking about it." 

"I know it doesn't mean I'm all grown up, but I'm an adult now and I can take care of myself." 

"But I still want to take care of you." He leaned in and I thought he might try to hug me so I turned my face to tell him not to touch me when his lips bumped mine. His lips were soft and slightly wet from his tongue, his mouth parted slightly. An electric shock ran through my body at the touch. My hips rolled towards him under the covers on their own accord. 

"Fuck!" I blurted out at the same time as he exclaimed, 

"Shit! I was trying to kiss your cheek!" He stood up, shoving his hands in my pockets. "I'm such an idiot! I shouldn't have come!" he pushed his hair off his forehead in distress. "I'm so sorry, Kenz. I didn't mean to kiss you like that." I wanted to hug him and tell him it was okay. I wanted to thank him for relieving so much stress between us and telling me everything he had. I wanted to show him that I appreciated him being so honest with me. And I couldn't. 

"I'm naked." I suddenly blurted out. "I mean, I want to hug you or something and I can't and I feel really awkward." The words kept coming and it was like I couldn't stop them. I put my hand over my mouth. I hoped he couldn't smell my cum on me and wasn't thinking the thoughts I was. 

"I should just leave." 

"Please don't! Just close your eyes? I'll put something on." I don't know why, but I really didn't want to let him leave after all of that without acknowledging what he'd said. He nodded and shut his eyes, putting his hands over his eyes as I got out from under the covers, quickly tiptoeing to the closet and pulling on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, not bothering to find panties. I sat down on the bed next to him and hugged him tightly, the tears starting to flow. "Thank you, Ry. Thank you for saying all of those things. You have no idea how much it means to me after fighting for so long." He hugged me back, one of his hands rubbing up and down my back like he used to when I was younger before we started fighting, and would crawl into his lap and he'd rock me back and forth. He'd stopped letting me do that when I was thirteen or fourteen, which was about the time the arguing had started. 

"I can't promise that I'm going to be perfect, but I'm going to try, at least for the rest of this break." 

"I don't expect anything besides the normal once you're sober." I said honestly, as much as I truly had appreciated his confession. I could feel him tense and he pulled away from me. 

"It's not my fault I have to distance myself from you so I stop thinking about how pretty my little sister has become." He grumbled and my eyes widened. "Fuck, I need to go before I say more stupid shit." He got up and ran his hand through his hair again. "Have a good night, kitten." He turned and left, shutting my door behind him. Moments later, I could hear him enter his room next door and the muted sounds of Adrian and Ryder talking. 

What did he mean, stop thinking about how pretty I'd become? Surely he wasn't implying any attraction to me. He must have been explaining why he was so overprotective and tried to keep me away from guys. But the way he'd said it was so strange. The whole night was strange. I just wanted to go to sleep! I got out of bed and turned the light out, rolling on my side and closing my eyes. I could hear Adrian and my brother laughing. And that would be the lullaby that eventually put me to sleep. 

*** 

Sunday went by in a blur that mostly consisted of shopping, wrapping, and my brother and I completely avoiding and ignoring each other. It was like my entire my family didn't notice or acknowledge the fact that not only weren't talking, we weren't fighting either. I guess they probably wanted to focus on the upcoming holiday and the lack of our bickering voices was a blessing. With Monday being both Christmas Eve and the event at the mall where Ryder and I were filling in, I knew we had to be on our best behavior. The only way to do that would be to continue to avoid him and let the chips fall where they may. The worst thing about the entire silence between us is that Adrian had told me that he'd confessed walking in on me to Ryder and Ryder had totally blown up on him. I suspected that as soon as Ryder and I were alone, he'd be having a talk with me about that and finding some way to make it my fault. 

Monday morning rolled around and my mom called upstairs to tell us that I would need to be at the mall by noon. She was stressing out and when I asked her why, she confessed that she hadn't been able to find a burly man to play Santa. Rhonda had waited till the last minute to tell my mom that her husband had indeed become sick. And of course, my brother would offer himself to be Santa for the part. It wasn't as though we needed anything else to build tension between us! In fact, I briefly considered quitting, but that would just make our parents very suspicious of me, as usual. 

I had exactly two hours to get dolled up and they would give us our suits once we arrived at the mall. I hopped into the shower before Adrian or Ryder could beat me to it and took a quick one, washing my hair and body as fast as I could, while still being thorough. The sound of my brother banging on the door interrupted what was already a rushed shower, ticking me off. "Calm down! I'm almost done!" I called out, rolling my eyes. It was like he wanted us to start fighting again. I turned off the water and got out of the shower, reaching for my towel. It wasn't there. I looked around the bathroom and there wasn't a towel in sight. I opened the door a crack and peered out. "There are no towels in here." 

Ryder grinned at me, "Oops. Better make a run for it." 

"Close your eyes!" He closed his eyes and leaned against the hallway wall, chuckling. I put one arm over my breasts and the other hand over my nether regions as an attempt to cover myself as I ran across the hall, slamming the door behind me. 

"Nice booty, sis!" Ryder teased as he headed into the bathroom to get ready. I shook my head and plugged in my blow dryer. What a freaking tool. I had managed to avoid him for all of one day successfully and he was back to his old ways. Once my hair was blow dried, I put a red sundress on so that I would easily be able to get out of it without messing up my hair and makeup. Under that I wore leggings and threw a sweater on top. Warm and sexy could be synonymous in an outfit, thanks to California's winter weather. I sat at my mirror and curled my hair carefully, enjoying the fact that my short shower had left me with plenty of time for everything else. Once I'd sprayed my hair lightly to keep it looking perfectly curled, I started on my makeup. I wanted to look sexy as hell, considering I'd be stuffed in some who-knows-how-ugly Mrs. Clause costume. 

"Time to go, Mrs. Clause." My brother said, standing at the doorway as I was finishing up the final touches. I stood up and twirled. 

"What do you think?" 

"Holy shit." He ran a hand through his hair, "What are you trying to do? Participate in sexiest Mrs. Clause contest?" 

"Oh, shut up. Stop making fun of me. I'm not even going to be wearing this once we get there." I looked him up and down. His hair looked great and he'd shaved, which was funny considering he'd be wearing a Santa suit, complete with hat and beard. "You look good." I smiled, trying to keep the peace. 

"Thanks, kitten." He said softly, with a hand on the back of my neck for a moment, squeezing lightly and letting go. I hugged my mom goodbye and she made us promise to be back by dinner, as she was preparing her normal Christmas feast. The photo booth was supposed to be over by six pm, so we assured her we would have no problem being back in time. I wondered if she and my dad suspected anything going on between Ryder and I. Ever since the orgasm I had thinking about being walked in on and then the accidental kiss, I'd been on edge about someone finding out about it. 

I got into the passenger seat of Ryder's car, pulling my sweater tight around me. It was colder than I expected and Ryder chuckled lowly when he saw me. "I'll put the heat on, sweetie." Sweetie? What was with the nice guy act all of a sudden? 

"You're not drunk, are you?" I questioned, as he got in the driver's seat. 

"Of course not. I'm trying to be civil so we don't try to kill each other in public." He smirked. "Unless you were hoping to beat me up?" 

"Don't be silly. I'm a classy lady." I looked down at my nails as he pulled off the curb and drove towards the mall, turning on the radio as he did. He chose a local indie station and we sat in silence until we had pulled into a parking spot at the mall. "So, mom said to meet Karen at the customer service desk near the Santa booth and she'd show us where to get changed." Ryder shrugged and followed me into the sliding glass doors of the mall, which were decorated with fake snowflakes. 

We met up with Karen to get our outfits and she was blushing profusely. "Okay, we have a bit of an issue." She said, holding up the Mrs. Clause outfit. It looked like something out of a Christmas Burlesque show or a risqué fashion magazine. My assistant thought that when I asked her to pick up a new Mrs. Clause suit in a size small for you that I meant... well, that I meant it was for me to wear at home. We don't have time to go buy a more appropriate one. Can you make this work?" I looked down at it. It didn't expose too much skin, but it certainly wasn't a modest outfit and it would probably be skintight. 

"We don't have another choice!" I said with a wry smile. My brother took his Santa suit with a laugh. 

"We'll be fine." 

"Great. Kenzie, you and your boyfriend can get changed over there." She pointed to a small Gingerbread house behind the picture taking "stage" and Santa's sleigh set-up and scurried off before we could respond. Boyfriend? Mom must have just told her that she'd found a replacement and not told Karen that it was her son, my brother. Ryder was all smiles as he wrapped his hand around my lower back, leading me toward the little changing room. 

"Guess we're going to have to play up the part." 

"We can just tell her we're siblings." I rolled my eyes. 

"Yeah, because that's an appropriate thing to bring up after we've changed in this little room." He pushed me inside and shut the wood door behind us. "We have like five minutes before we're supposed to be out there. This fucking room is so tiny, it was obviously meant for one person." He flipped the light switch on and pulled his shirt off. He obviously had no shame. And he was right. The room was so small, we were practically pressed up against each other while trying to change. I couldn't help but peek at him as he started to unbutton his jeans. "You going to watch me get undressed or are you going to get yourself into that thing?" 

"Oh, right. Sorry." I tore my eyes from his seemingly perfect body and turned away, pulling the dress and leggings off, leaving me in just a pair of red panties and a red lace bra. I could feel his eyes on me even with my back to him, as I tried not to rub my body into his while I started working the red outfit up my body. I wasn't a big girl, but this thing really was tiny. When I'd finally gotten it up and over my breasts, I pulled the small sleeves into place and reached into the bag for the matching stockings. I slid them up my legs and turned around to find myself right up against Ryder, who was in just his boxers, sliding into the Santa suit. He pushed me back a few inches, separating our bodies. "You look ridiculous." I said as he put the hat on his head and worked the beard into place. I slipped my feet back into my red heels. 

"You feel fucking ridiculous." He said, shaking his head. "This was a horrible idea." I looked at him, perplexed. "We should have asked for separate changing rooms." 

"Oh, so I was right?" I teased, poking him in the chest. The Santa suit came complete with a fake fat belly, which looked quite funny on my fit brother. 

"Yes, you were fucking right. Is that what you want to hear? This is completely inappropriate being pushed up against my baby sister who was just half naked a few moments ago." My eyes widened as he stared at me. "You look like you belong on a stage somewhere." 

"Great, thanks, Ryder." 

"And what's worse is that I can't get the thought of you naked out of my head ever since Adrian admitted walking in on you. And it's so fucking wrong, the more I try not to think about it, the more the thought won't go away. Like how fucking sick do you have to be to accidentally kiss your sister, find out your friend accidentally saw her naked, and then think about it?! I thought yelling at Adrian would get it out of my mind, because the only reason I'm thinking about it is obviously my anger! And of course, there is too much going on at home to go out and fuck someone to stop thinking about it." I blushed bright red, but before I could respond, there was a knock on the door. 

"Time to go! All decent?" 

"Ah, yeah." I said, straightening the stockings and opening the door, stepping out. 

"Okay, great. So what we're doing is each parent brings a toy for the toy drive, and we'll take a picture of Mrs. Clause by the sleigh as the toy is being put inside. Then the kid or kids will sit with Santa and Mrs. Clause for another photo. Each person should only take about a minute, one take for each photo, because of the long lines we are expecting. We'll have a special line which will have priority for those who made donations." She led us out of the changing area and around to the stage. There was already a line of little kids and some bigger kids, along with their parents. 

I squeezed past Ryder and stood in front of the sleigh with a big smile on my face. Lucky my mom had made me take acting classes when I was younger. I could easily fake a smile now! And I definitely needed it. Ryder sat down in the big wooden chair and the first little kid came and sat down in his lap. 

Two hours later, we'd taken dozens of photos and my legs were starting to get tired. Karen must have noticed me trying to stretch them, because she came over and whispered to me, "Maybe it would be better for the line and your legs if you just sat on one leg while the kids sat on the other leg for the photos." 

"Oh! No, that's okay." 

"Really, I insist. You'll be much more comfortable and taking a picture of you by the sleigh is wasting time with such a long line. The only way we'll get everyone in line in by the time we close up is if we do two-in-one. Santa and Mrs. Clause. Okay?" she smiled and ran off behind the stage. 

"Hey, Santa." I said, whispering into his ear before the next kid came up for his photo. "She wants us to do a two-in-one deal and scratch the sleigh photo. I have to sit on your lap now." 

"You're fucking kidding me." He groaned under his breath. "How much more awkward can we make this day?" but he didn't argue further and straightened his legs out so I'd have room to sit down. I sat gingerly on his right leg and faked a smile, waving at the next kid in line to come sit for his photo. His right hand curled around my hip to give me extra stability and as much as I hated the fact that he was touching me, it felt really nice to be touched so tenderly. 

We posed for picture after picture with little kids, with me attempting not to slide off his knee practically the entire time. Finally, he ended up pulling me up so that I was sitting with my ass against his hip and his arm fully around me. The little kids seemed to enjoy the closeness between Santa and Mrs. Clause and surprisingly none of the parents had given me dirty looks or complained. Maybe I was pulling off the outfit in a classier fashion than I had thought. As it got closer and closer to six, I was feeling more and more nervous about how long I'd been sitting on his lap. When Karen came by to tell her that we had a half hour left and we could take a five minute break, Ryder practically threw me off his lap. He stood up and walked behind the stage so he could stretch his legs. I followed, leaning up against the back of the gingerbread house. "I'm sorry we got stuck sitting like that." 

"Yeah, so am I." he cleared his throat. "I'm glad that I'm wearing this suit, though." He laughed and walked around to the side of the cottage where Karen had placed some water and fruit for us. He grabbed a couple of bottles of water and brought me one. I took a long sip. The lights on the stage were so bright; I'd started to sweat a little bit, especially with being on Ryder's lap. "You really do look pretty in that, though. Sorry about the comment I made earlier." 

"No, it was appropriate. I do look like I should be putting on a different kind of show." I giggled and took another sip of the water. "We should get back out there. We can talk more about stuff later." To be honest, despite those little weird things that had been happening that were obviously due to the fact that we were both undersexed, I was relieved and happy that we had found a happy medium. It wasn't perfect, but he wasn't hateful and I wasn't hurt by his every word. 

An hour later, we were finally done and trudged back to the changing room. "'Do you want to go in alone?" I offered quietly, happy to be standing after sitting on his lap for so long with all those little kids, half of which cried during the pictures. 

"Don't be silly. I want to get the fuck out of here." We both shoved into the house and shut the door, trying to give each other as much space as possible. I turned my back to him as I peeled off the stockings and the tight dress, sighing in relief. I hadn't had my full breathing capacity all day and it felt great to be free. I was a little sweaty, but was thankful that it wasn't too bad and that I didn't stink. My brother, however, looked like a sticky mess as I turned around to put on the clothes I came in. He had gotten out of the Santa suit and hat. I looked down at him with raised eyebrows. His hair was a mess and he looked like he'd gone for a long run, except for the fact that he was in just a pair of black boxer briefs. "What? Do I stink?" 




I'll Be Home for Christmas



"Dunno, but you're sweaty as hell." 

"Duh. I was wearing that disgusting suit all day with little kids and you in my lap." He pulled on his clothes, grimacing at having to wear them over his sweaty body. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to get it back in order. We gathered the outfits and stepped out of the cottage to find Karen waiting for us. 

"Thanks so much, guys! You were great. Everyone loved you. Sweetie, would you like to keep the outfit? I have nothing to do with it." She blushed again, "And it looked way nicer on you." 

"Oh, sure. Thank you!" 

"It's the least I can do. Now, I wasn't supposed to do this, but here." She handed us an envelope and took the Santa suit from Ryder, and she was off again. Seemed like she was always running around! I opened the envelope. A hundred bucks. Not bad, considering it was a volunteer thing. 

"Guess since she thinks we're a couple, it's supposed to be for the both of us." 

"Want to go out after dinner and get drunk? We can definitely do a lot with a hundred bucks." I raised my eyebrows. My brother was suggesting he take me out and condone underage drinking? Fine with me! 

"Um, hell yes." He put his arm around my shoulders and we walked out towards the car. "So what did you mean when you said you were glad you were wearing the suit?" He glared at me and squeezed my shoulder, apparently deciding to skip answering the question. That's when I realized the only thing he could have meant. "Oh! Gross!" I laughed, punching his shoulder. "Why would you have something to hide?" 

"Doesn't matter that you're my sister, you're still a chick with a nice body. And you heard what I told you earlier." He shrugged. "It's biological." I grinned and poked him in the chest. 

"You got a hard-on because of me! That's hilarious." I got in the passenger seat and buckled my seat belt. 

"It's not that big of a deal. It happens when any good looking girl sits in a straight man's lap!" 

"Suuuuuure." I teased him as he got in and closed the door firmly, putting the key in the ignition and buckling his seat belt. 

"Look! I don't feel anything for you like that, okay?" As if to prove a point, he pulled my face into his and kissed me hard, taking my breath away. His lips parted as he deepened the kiss, one hand sliding to the back of my neck into my hair and pulling it firmly. I whimpered, half-surprised and half taken over by the moment, my hand fisting in his t-short as the tip of his tongue brushed my lower lip. His tongue slid over my bottom lip and against mine. The sensation jolted me and I pulled away, panting slightly. 

"W-what the fuck was that?!" 

"See! N-nothing!" he exclaimed, turning the car on and peeling out of the garage. My lips were on fire and my stomach was full of butterflies. My nipples were rock hard and my panties had dampened. It certainly hadn't felt like nothing to me. It had felt like a horrible, bad idea. I didn't even know what to say. I was so shocked that he had done that, it had sent my mind whirling. 

  

 He didn't look at me or say a word the entire drive home and all I wanted to do was get out of the car and get away from him. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. Why the fuck had I kissed him back? Why had I let him do that? Why in the world would he try to prove that the weird feelings he was having were nothing by kissing me? As soon as we pulled up to the house, I opened the door and jumped out before he'd even fully parked the car. I ran inside, yelling at my mom that I was going to take a shower and get ready for dinner. Once under the hot spray of the shower, I screeched in frustration. That had been the most amazing kiss I'd ever have and it was with my stupid, awful brother. After washing my body thoroughly and keeping my hair out of the water, I turned off the faucet and leaned my forehead into the cold shower wall. In a few minutes, I was going to be stuck at the dinner table with my family and Adrian for several hours and then most likely stuck in the living room for a movie or two until everyone passed out. At least, that's what Christmas dinner was normally like. 

I wrapped a towel around me and scurried across the hall to get some clothes on. I dumped my sweaty clothes into the hamper and picked out a pair of Christmas panties. I decided to go sans bra and just put on a red sweater and a pair of dark jeans. Running my fingers through my hair, I listened for the sound of the shower and only once I heard it turn on did I walk down the stairs and sit down at the table. Everyone was already seated except Ryder, but nobody had started eating yet. "How was the gig, honey? Thanks for doing that." 

"No problem. It was an interesting experience. I'm hungry." I said matter-of-factly. 

"Just wait till your brother comes downstairs. He went to wash off after wearing the Santa suit all day." I shrugged and played with my fork along the edge of my plate. 

"So, how was being Mrs. Clause?" Adrian asked me with a smirk. He was sitting on one side of me, while Ryder's empty chair was on the other. 

  

"Good." I said with a smile. I just wanted to eat and get through this dinner. I knew as soon as Ryder sat down, the questions would start. We hadn't all sat together for more than a few minutes at a time since he had been home and my parents would certainly want to chat it up with him and Adrian. 

Ryder finally came and sat down next to me and I inhaled sharply. He smelled like my shampoo again, but had spritzed cologne on himself, likely in an attempt to hide the smell of me all over him. His cologne was earthy and manly and it confused my head to have him sitting right there, refusing to look at me or acknowledge anything. The fact that he smelled so good didn't help anything. 

"Can you pass the potatoes, please?" he asked Adrian, even though they were right in front of me. Adrian shrugged and handed them over me to Ryder. Yep, I could tell this was going to be a long night. And as if it couldn't get any better than that, my phone buzzed with a text from Jordan, "Your brother called me today and ripped me a new one. Maybe you were right. And maybe we should take a break." It took everything I had not to scream at Ryder right there at the table, but not making a scene was more important at that moment. The last thing I needed was my mom thinking I was any more volatile than she already did. 

After two hours of conversation mostly consisting of college talk, plates and second servings of food, pie, and three bottles of wine, my parents suggested we bring our plates in and put on a movie in the living room. I practically leapt out of my seat to gather plates and help clean up. The tension between me and my brother was palpable, and somehow much worse than when we yelled and fought. I helped my mom in the kitchen, scraping off plates and loading the dishwasher. I hoped desperately my parents wouldn't go to bed early. The last thing I needed was to be stuck downstairs for a movie or two with just the guys. 

I walked into the living room and plopped down on the side of he couch. My brother and Adrian had gone upstairs to find a movie and my parents had sat sown in the love seat, already looking droopy eyed. My stomach clenched when Ryder sat down on the couch next to me, his forearm brushing the outside of my bare thigh. We both looked down at my leg before he yanked his arm away. 

"Bro, hurry up already!" Adrian was trying to figure out how to use the new Blu-ray machine and having a lot of trouble, leaving my brother in awkward silence next to each other. He eventually got the movie on and turned out the lights, coming to sit on the other side of me. 

"I chose Nightmare Before Christmas." 

"Fitting." I said under my breath, rolling my eyes, despite loving the movie he had chosen. 

I must have been shivering during the movie, because all of a sudden my brother rubbed the side of my arm, "You want a blanket?" my brother asked, the first words he'd spoken to me since the mall parking lot. "You're wearing shorts." 

"Um, okay." he grabbed a blanket off the floor and threw it over me. Whatever lived in my brother's head would never make sense to me, but I was thankful he'd spoken to me. I looked over at him, but his eyes were on the screen. I glanced over at my parents. They were awake from the nap they had fallen into and waved a polite goodnight as they headed to their room. 

"Merry Christmas." my mom whispered with a smile as they passed the couch. "Check under the tree in the morning!" she kissed my brother on the top of his head and a minute later I could hear the faint sound of their bedroom door closing. 

Adrian leapt over to the loveseat and spread out, giving my brother and I the length of the giant couch. He looked at me nervously, but didn't move to take up more room. I put a corner of the blanket over his lap, noticing he had goosebumps on his arms. He smiled half heartedly and pulled it over himself, leaning into me just slightly. I shivered at the feel of his warm thigh through his jeans against mine. I felt his hand slowly move from his leg to mine, resting it on top of my knee gently. I looked at him and he squeezed lightly. "I'm sorry I ignored you at dinner." he whispered, "I've been an idiot since I got here and I never know how to deal with the consequences of my actions, babe." I shrugged and looked down, wondering how long he planned on keeping his hand around my thigh. "Do you think maybe we can talk tonight before bed? Since our drinking plan didn't really work out." 

"I don't think you need any more alcohol," I teased lightly, "You had almost an entire bottle of wine to yourself." I could smell the wine on his breath and I knew he was pretty intoxicated, so maybe that explained his hand on my leg. Thinking about having someone's hand that close to my leg gave my brain all the wrong signals, though. Anytime Jordan put his hands there, he was going for something a little more centered, which is what my body certainly remembered. I shifted slightly, the back of my neck feeling hot from the awkward way my body was responding. 

"I just wanna talk." he looked over at Adrian, who was engrossed in what was now the ending of the movie. "I'll wait till he's asleep, okay?" he squeezed my thigh again and leaned in closer to my ear to whisper, "I'll be a gentleman, don't worry. No more fighting, Kenz." I bit my lower lip and nodded in agreement. What was I going to say, no? The past few days had felt like weeks and I just wanted to move through the rest as smoothly as possible. 

"You two done chatting so we can pick another movie?" Adrian remarked with a laugh, stretching as he stood up from the chair, removing the DVD from the player. 

What must have been a couple hours later, I woke up on the couch. I felt warm and cozy and it only took me a second to see the reason for that I had fallen asleep against my brother and he had slipped an arm around me to keep me warm, the blanket wrapped around my small body. 

"Thanks." I said shortly, pulling away from him. "I missed the whole movie?" 

"Pretty much. We watched you snore." I smacked him hard in the chest and he grabbed my wrists, "Calm down, calm down! I am just kidding. You slept like a little angel. It's late though, we should get to bed. Lord knows mom is going to wake us up early." I nodded and got up from the couch, walking past Adrian and hoping to myself that my brother had forgotten about wanting to talk. 

Brushing my teeth and getting in bed was enough time to tell me that he had not forgotten. He knocked quietly and stepped inside my room without asking, locking the door behind him. I got out of bed, arms across my chest. "What do you want?" 

"He's asleep. We need to talk." 

"Do we need to talk about the fact that you called Jordan? Or is there something else you wanted to tell me?" My brother didn't expect Jordan to tell me by the look on his face. 

"I am not sorry, Kenzie. You know the rep he has and he's too old for you." 

"Yeah right! You've fucked way more girls than he has. And he's not sleeping with anyone else while we are seeing each other." 

"You told me you weren't going to lose your virginity to some asshole." 

"I DIDN'T!" I glared at Ryder, who looked shocked. He opened his mouth to respond and stuttered. 

"You're still a virgin? Holy shit." 

"Yeah, I'm still a virgin and Jordan is the only guy I've done anything more than kissing with. Makes me a pretty bad 'slut', huh?" I could tell the words stung, but I didn't care. My brother acted like I slept around and I hadn't even slept with anyone. I raised an eyebrow as he stepped close to me. "Why did you kiss me in the car? Why are you acting like this?" 

"I'm just trying to make sure you don't do anything stupid." 

"You're such a bad liar!" 

  

"Did you ever think maybe I just didn't want anyone else to have you like that?" He asked angrily, grabbing me around the waist, "Did you ever think that maybe you're confusing me, too?" His touch felt hot and his words hit me hard. Maybe the alcohol was just jumbling his thoughts and he wasn't being coherent. "Maybe the reason I've been acting like an asshole and avoiding you as much as possible is because I'm confused as to how my sister got so beautiful and smart and funny and seems like a real woman and why my body and mind are responding to her like she's any other hot girl besides my baby sister." 

He took a breath, running his other hand through his mussed hair, "Maybe it's been taking everything I have not to want to kiss you all the time and yesterday I broke trying to prove myself wrong and it felt so, so right." His grip on my hip tightened as he leaned in, "Maybe we should just try again and see that it's really nothing. That I just haven't had sex in such a long time I'm imagining things." Before I could respond, he leaned down and captured my mouth again with his, his free hand gripping my ass tightly. I trembled under his touch as he kissed me deeply, teeth scraping my bottom lip as his tongue touched mine and for a few moments, I lost where he ended and I began. He broke the kiss, surprisingly, and let go of my hip, breathing hard. The hand on my ass disappeared and he stumbled backwards, "Holy shit." 

"You shouldn't be doing this. We shouldn't be kissing. And it shouldn't feel like this." I whispered as my head spun. It had been even better than the first kiss in his car, which was the last thing I wanted. "You're the meanest person I know. Why did you have to come home so hot and start being weird and kissing me to prove yourself wrong? How selfish are you?" My legs felt weak and I leaned against the dresser for support. "You didn't even talk to me for practically three whole years. And before that we fought like an angry couple. When is this going to end?" 

Ryder glanced down at me with the most strained look in his eyes and my breath caught in my throat. I closed the distance between us, my eyes meeting his, "Maybe third time is the charm? Then this all can be behind us." he whispered, his hand cupping my ass as my nipples pebbled. He bit my lower lip hard, eliciting a cry from my throat, before lifting me and pushing me against the wall, his body between my legs, as he kissed me hard, our tongues tangling as his chest pressed against me. He pressed his lips harder against mine, hard enough that I was sure I'd have sore lips in the morning. His hands gripped my thighs hard, squeezing down as he deepened the kiss, before his mouth trailed momentarily from my lips along my jaw to my ear. I grabbed his hair and pulled him away, as much as my body begged me not to. 

"R-ryder! No more!" He sighed loudly and rested his forehead against mine for a moment before letting me slide down to the floor, his body still pressed into mine, the feel of his rigid length against my stomach for a moment. "I don't think that worked. I think you should leave. It's really late and tomorrow is Christmas morning." He nodded and stepped back, blatantly reaching down and adjusting his erection, which judging by what I'd felt for a couple of seconds was likely very uncomfortable. 

"Third time was definitely not the charm." His voice was thick and strained, and the way he was looking at me made me want to grab him and kiss him all over again, but I knew that was just my lust-addled brain and hormones corrupting my thoughts. 

"You need to go." He nodded again. "I can't believe that this is why I stayed a virgin, because you have some sick crush on me." I turned away and got back into my bed, my knees weak and my heart thumping. I closed my eyes and shifted towards the wall so I wouldn't have to look at him. I knew he was still there, staring at me, and that I'd probably hurt him, but I didn't care. This was beyond fucked up. I finally heard him leave the room, shutting the door behind him. My phone buzzed and I grabbed it, reading the first text I'd received from Ryder since I'd gotten this phone over a year ago. "Sleep tight, meowzalot." Yet another nickname he'd given me when we were young and got along. I texted back quickly, pressing the keys angrily, "Don't call me that! Leave me alone!" and dropped my phone under the covers. That was the last thing I remembered before falling asleep. 

*** 

Christmas morning came too early, and as I suspected, our mom came around waking us all up at an ungodly hour. I managed to get freshened up and changed into a crop top that was pink and came to just above my belly button and a pair of hot shorts before my mom came back upstairs to drag me to the kitchen. A typical family Christmas breakfast had been prepared and everyone was seated around the dining room table, the tree surrounded by presents that were untouched. 

"Grab a seat." My brother said with a mouth full of pancakes, as he pointed to the only seat left next to him. I sat down and grabbed some food, hoping desperately that we could get through the day without fighting or anything embarrassing happening. If either of my parents knew what had happened, they would surely have a heart attack. "How'd you sleep?" he asked eyes apologetic and a sloping smile on that mouth of his. 

"I slept great," I smiled at him and stuffed a bite of blueberry pancake in my mouth. "And yourself?" I let my eyes graze down to his lap, making a point of what I was asking him. He blushed and shoveled more food into his mouth, apparently deciding to drop the topic. 

"So, can we open presents during breakfast?" 

"Break tradition?! No!" my dad said with a laugh, elbowing my mom. She smiled at him and then at me. 

"Enjoy your breakfast and be patient." 

Getting through breakfast was hard enough. Opening presents took a couple of hours and although everyone seemed happy with the gifts they'd exchanged, including the presents I'd gotten from my mom, dad, and even Adrian, I felt so much tension between my brother and I, it was unbearable. And it certainly wasn't the type of tension that existed between us before. It was the kind of tension I'd only ever felt when reading erotic novels or watching a particularly well made snuff film. It was the bend-me-over-the-couch-and-fuck-me type of tension. I hadn't given anything to Ryder, so I wasn't surprised when there was nothing under the tree from him. 

Picking up all the loose trash and wrapping paper into a big plastic bag, I glanced around at my happy parents and an even happier Adrian, who'd been given some pretty cool stuff by my parents and my brother. I took the trash bag outside to the side of the house, where I was surprised by Ryder grabbing me. 

"What do you want?!" 

"I promise I didn't forget to get you something." 

"It doesn't matter. We were getting along horribly before you came home. I didn't expect anything." He touched the side of my face so tenderly; I almost started crying, before he pressed his lips against mine deeply and sweetly. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it took my breath away.