30 comments/ 168807 views/ 55 favorites Family Sensation By: Athena_e19 Nineteen years old. I just can't believe it. I'm leaving for school in two months. I'll be all on my own. Shit. That is depressing. I've never worked, never had to cook, to clean. And now, I'll be all on my own. And I have no idea how to do any of the adult things that I should have learned by now. I've always appreciated my parents and how much they take care of me and my brother. But, now that I am about to be on my own, it just doesn't sound very enticing. I wonder if Aaron feels the same way. Aaron is my twin brother by the way. We are prototypical middle class American kids. Our parents had upper management positions, until we were born, then my mother stepped down. She stayed home with us until we were in high school. After that she took a job at a pay cut doing administrative work for a local cellular phone company. But when were growing up she and our dad combined to make life wonderful. I think ultimately that was the downfall. They just spent too much time taking care of us and ignoring themselves. Whenever we needed anything or wanted anything, they were there, working to make sure that we had it. We didn't have to worry about after school jobs, so we could hang out, play sports, do extracurricular activities. Afforded with the opportunity to be selfish, Aaron and I did what every teenager would do. Act selfishly! But here we are now, in the mess that we're in. As I said before, my brother and I are nineteen and going off to college together. The real tough part of this is that my parents just separated. They sat us down and calmly told us that now that we were adults, they were planning on getting divorced. They had agreed three years before that they would wait until we graduated to do it. We couldn't believe it! They seemed so happy around each other! Like the best of friends! But apparently it was all a show, so that we could grow up to be healthy normal kids. Looking back from where I am now, I think everyone may have missed something. But that first day of July, I couldn't believe that I was going to be on my own. Aaron and I had celebrated our last birthday in our small hometown. All of our friends and family came. It was huge! So many familiar faces and friendly smiles. It was the perfect example of what a happy life could be like. The biggest downer was how happy and prepared our parents seemed to be after finally filing for divorce. It seemed so normal for them to talk and make chit chat with other men and women. It seemed so practiced and cool to watch them talk about the news with one another. For all I could tell, they hadn't ever spent twenty-two years of their lives together. It was ridiculous. By the end of the day I had been seriously depressed. And now, the day after my birthday, I'm sitting in my room alone and wondering what I'm going to do. The thought process is way too disturbing. I don't like thinking of myself as an incapable ditsy cheerleader. Although my blonde hair and blue eyes and normally cheery personality might seem to lean that way. I decide that Aaron is the best fix for my problem. Aaron is my twin brother, as I've already indicated. But his personality is the perfect balance for mine. I'm book smart, bubbly, occasionally absent minded, and very flirtatious. We look a lot alike, but the moment you start talking to the pair of us, you get the yin and yang effect. Aaron plays sports and is cute, like me, but his passions are totally different. Aaron is an artist- a real one. He works in any type of medium and considers them all fair game. His room (and a good portion of our house) are decorated in his work. He works with pastels, oils, charcoal, clay, plaster, digital imagery, and he even plays the guitar. Whenever I'm around him I just feel complete. He's my other half. Technically, I'm the older of us (as I came out first), but I really look up to him. He's perfect. Today is no different. The moment I step foot in his bedroom, I feel calmer, soothed almost. Aaron has his back to me, furiously painting something. I can't tell what it is but it looks more abstract then most of his stuff and a little darker. "Hey sis," he mutters as I sit on his bed. "Hey bro," I reply. We do all sorts of things that might be considered weird by anyone else, but we're twins, so we're entitled. "How you doing," he asks. The questions not general, its directly aimed at all the things that have been running through my head. "I don't know. I'm a little scared." "Why," he asks, his brush coming to a momentary pause. "It seems like so much of our life has been taken care of for us. And now mom and dad are split. It just seems so fraudulent. You know what I mean?" His head turns back over his shoulder, his long blonde locks and their darker dyed streaks carefully brushed behind one ear. "I know exactly what you mean. I would have never seen it coming." "What are we going to do? We leave for Boston in eight weeks. And everything will change. I'm really scared." He flashes me that smile, the one that makes the girls swoon and the guys simmer. To me, its just a package of confidence. It says don't worry, I'll be there. And its right. If Aaron is with me, I can get through it. "We should do something," he says, as his brush begins to fly once more. "What?" I like Aaron's ideas. They usually are really fun. Perfect for me and whatever mood I'm in. I think he can read my mind, or my subconscious or whatever. "I was thinking we could go up to the mountains on Saturday. Stay up there and go hiking. There's this seventy mile trail that loops around the foothills. I always wanted to do it before I left. It would be quiet, peaceful, and there would be no reminders of all this," he says with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Seventy miles? How long will that take us," I ask. We have gone hiking or mountain biking regularly, but only for a day or two and never for a long distance. "If we go on foot and we pack light, we could probably make the trip in five days or so. If you wanted, we could make it longer. There's a parking lot on one end where we could leave the car with another set of supplies. We'd hike in one way, finish the loop, pick up some stuff and then hike out the other way and loop back around. All in all its about one hundred and thirty miles." I thought about it. It'd be like an escape. An escape from reality. We live in one of the most beautiful areas in the world, home to the largest national northern rain forest. Its always green and always quiet. Too many people in our area get caught up in caffeine and computers and jet setting. So the few of us who get out, have the whole place to ourselves. "I like it! When do we leave, captain," I ask in my best fake soldierly voice. It takes him a moment to respond. "Do you want to leave this Saturday? If we go the long way, it may be better to leave sooner. There are some lakes and camp grounds along the way. I'd like to take it a bit slower and have a chance to work on my photography and maybe paint a bit." "Fine, let's leave on Wednesday. If you get the supplies and stuff together, I'll make sure I'm ready." Two days from now! I'm almost giddy. The chance to get out and get away! It seems too perfect! "Deal," Aaron answers. He puts his brush down and gives me two quick swipes of his thumb underneath each eye. I can feel and smell the acrylic paint he just applied. "Brat," I playfully shout and push him. He just goes on smiling that winning smile before he turns back to the picture. "What do you think," he asks. I get a chance to study it for a few moments before he looks back at me, waiting for my evaluation. He always says I'm his harshest critic. "Is that us?" The picture is of a young man and woman, who look very similar to us, except their bodies and poses are a little more exaggerated. The scene looks like some of the fantasy and sci-fi art that he admired. We looked almost surreal. "Yep. What do you think?" "I'm not sure. My boobs are too big and I look way too helpless crouched behind you like that. And I'm not sure that I like seeing my brother in a loincloth," I giggle. He's obviously defending me from some drooling beast. In the foreground a black swathe of paint outlines the silhouette of the creature. Its drooling and has sharp fangs. The sky is an abstract blur of colors while the ground seems to be artificially detailed. Even the dirt is distinctively marked. I'd seen stuff like this before. It was drawn by Frank somebody or other. "It's just the style. Besides you really shouldn't be focusing so much on my loincloth," he said with a chuckle. "It's a little tacky with all the symbolism you're aiming for." It was obviously a thinly veiled reference to his role as my comforter and protector since the separation. "I know. That's what I like about it," he replies. "It's the silliness of the drama. It's not supposed to be serious." I give him a grin and spin from the room. I hear him sigh before I depart. Smiling to myself I head back to my room. The sun is starting to really rise above the horizon now, and my room was aglow. It matches my mood. I knew Aaron would cheer me up. The two days could not pass fast enough. I was nearly mad by the time it finally did arrive. I had spent another four hundred dollars just trying to wile away the time. I had brand new socks, thermal underwear (in case it got cold), compact rain gear, new framed pack, hat, gloves, coat, shorts, pants, mosquito repellent, first aid kit, purifying canteen, matches, etc. There was very few things that I had not bought! But in the end it was all worth it I was sure. A two week long trip with my brother up into the mountains! An escape from all the terrors and depressing reminders of mundane life! It was everything I was looking for and it was all Aaron's idea. What a perfect brother. Aaron and I had packed up his Golf and were eagerly chatting away the two hour drive to what would be our base camp over the next several days. We had separated out all our gear into two sets. Food and clothing for the first week, and food and clothing for the second week. It was well planned, well organized, and well scheduled. That tended to be my thing- administrative work. I am a much more structured person then my brother. He was just the creative one. He probably would have just stashed everything in one bag and drug it through the woods for two weeks. But our powers combined, we were a perfect pair. When my feet hit the gravelly ground of the parking lot where we would leave our car, I couldn't take a breath deep enough to really savor the air. "It's just so perfect! The air, it's so clean! God it's wonderful up here," I cried twisting towards Aaron. He had a big lopsided grin on his face- the one that told me I was being overly dramatic. "Yeah, it's perfect, sis." I just kept right on smiling. Even acting a little childish wasn't going to slow me down. Once I had my pack on my shoulders and Aaron had gotten his much larger and heavier one on his, we started what would be the journey of a lifetime. I had a sharp admiration for Aaron. He was carrying most of our foot and all of his extra art supplies for the first week. His pack probably weighed close to one hundred and fifty pounds, but he marched along as if it were nothing. His days as a high school running back had made him excellent at carrying dead weight. I smiled fondly, remembering the times I would be on the sidelines cheering for him as he broke a tackle for a touchdown. It somehow seemed a long time ago. "Where's our first stop?" "The first part of the trip we'll go uphill for most of it. Today's the tough day. Once we get up, it's a little hilly, but much easier then this climb. We'll stop tonight at a little plateau on one of these foothills. Then tomorrow afternoon we'll stop a bit earlier at a glacial lake. I want to do some painting and take some pictures while we're there." "Sounds like a plan!" I wouldn't get the opportunity to talk much beyond that. Aaron was right about the uphill climb being a bit tougher. Despite all my exercise and daily routines, I was exhausted by the time we finally reached his plateau. It really wasn't much more then a twenty foot by twenty foot slope that was a little less steep then the others around it. But the view was breathtaking. We had already gone up slope enough to be higher then most of the other foothills to our south and west. Aaron dropped his pack the moment we were up there and pulled his camera up from around his neck. I went and sat on a rock and watched him work. It was about six in the evening and the sun would not go down for another two hours. Aaron was a blur of motion despite the long hike. The scenery and the beauty of our environment just seemed to give him a whole new wind. He would be standing at full height one moment and then the next he would be down on his knees in the grass. Always his hands were moving. It didn't seem that he would ever get tired of taking pictures. I had to laugh to myself as I took a few snapshots of him. I had a much less expensive and much more consumer grade digital camera that I had received as a graduation present from my grandmother. But it did the job and I was glad I would have some pictures to remember this by. Aaron was built for this type of terrain. He was tall and strong, with broad shoulders and chest. His hair hung loosely and its wild texture seemed to blend right into the uncut grass that surrounded him. His shirt clung to him, emphasizing the strength and hidden power that he carried. The ripples of his muscles matched up to the rippling motion of the hills that he sought to capture on film. By the time he turned around to put away his camera, I was crying a little. It was just one of those silly girl things and I didn't want him to notice but he could always tell. He came and sat next to me, his arm pulling me in closer. "What's up sis?" I tried to sniffle it back a bit, but I just loved him too much. "Promise me we'll do this even when we move away. Promise that I won't have to be by myself." With all sincerity and honesty, he promised me that he would always be my other half. He'd be strong for me, he'd be weak for me, but he would always be there for me. I believed him. Aaron always got this look in his eyes when he was dead set on something and that was one of those times. He would keep that promise, I knew. Feeling somewhat ashamed for being a damper on our first evening I tried to kick him into action. I gave him a simple thanks, then set out to make some dinner. The area we camped in didn't allow fires so we ate some dried vegetables, jerky, and fruit before calling it a night. The warm eighty degree weather of the summer day plummeted the moment the sun went down and I curled up in my sleeping bag listening to Aaron's breathing beside me. Outside it was probably forty degrees and threatened to get cooler when I finally went to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, I just lay inside my sleeping bag listening to the birds chirping for a few moments. The subtle scratch of a pencil on paper alerted me to the fact that Aaron was already up. I rolled over in my sleeping bag and gave him my best good morning expression. "Hold still, you brat, hold still. I've been working on this for the last forty five minutes and if you mess it up now by moving, I'll have to push you back down the hill." I stuck my tongue out at him and tried to repose myself as best I could. After another five minutes I heard utensil hit paper and heard him announce his completion. "Can I see it?" "Not till tomorrow. I want to try and paint it with water colors, but won't have the chance until tomorrow. Now settle down and let's get packed up." I rolled out of my sleeping bag and stepped into the morning air. It was a little cooler outside then inside the tent. Our combined hot air had kept it rather warm for my tastes. The sweatshirt I had removed during the night suddenly sounded a little better. Gooseflesh reared up all over, especially on my exposed calves and arms. I had slept in a pair of cotton athletic shorts and a t-shirt (once the sweater had been bagged). I did a little dance from foot to foot as I acclimated to the cold dewy grass and the fresh air. The moment Aaron popped out of the tent, I became a little self-conscious of my chest. My nipples were rock hard from the air and were obviously poking through the thin t-shirt. My nipples had always been a bit of an embarrassment for me. They'd perk up at the most awkward times, and even though they weren't very large, they seemed to find a way to stand out in any circumstance. There are a whole lot of stories on my cheer squad about my troublesome nipples, but those are for another day. Aaron gave me a big grin and shook his head as if to say good morning. It was, of course his way of perfecting his hair. Once it was shaken out, it hung loosely around his face and framed the strong clean lines that our genes had graced him with. My arms still crossed, he boosted me in the air and gave me a big bear hug until I nearly died from laughing. We ate a quick breakfast and then packed. I had worn a heavier pair of shorts and a long sleeve shirt the day before, but had quickly gotten tired of the materials and the heat. So, I opted to stay dressed in my bed time clothes. The cotton shorts allowed quite a bit of movement and felt light enough for the strength of the sun's rays. Once more, I trudge up hill after my brother. I was delighted to find that we ended the next portion of our journey just after one in the afternoon. It had gone quickly by, after the aches and pains of the previous days work had faded. Aaron was as pleased as I was to be at the next campground and eagerly went around taking pictures once more. I didn't bother with my camera. I figured I would go for a swim! The afternoon temperatures were reaching eighty once more, even at our altitude, and I was beginning to feel it. I knew the tent would be no relief from it, so the calm blue waters of the glacial lake seemed like the perfect option. I grabbed my bikini from my bag and snuck down the trail a little ways to change. I afforded myself a momentary spin once I was naked. There was something rebellious and instinctive to being naked in the great outdoors. I felt a little primal and wild, but the crunching of a branch startled me and I hurriedly dressed. The bikini felt great as an alternative to even my shorts and tee (which were soaked with sweat) and I was eager to jump in. When I came bouncing back up the pathway towards the camp site, Aaron was already set up, his easel, canvas, and palette already out. If he had a little beret, he could be the quintessential artiste. My cheery greeting to him caused him to look up with a smile. For the benefit of his audience (me) he let loose a few cat calls and whistles as I bounded to the water's edge and splashed in. He laughed at me as I shot to the surface a second later, my eyes wide from the freezing temperatures of the lake. After I got to swimming a bit, I found it to be quite refreshing, especially as the temperatures started to rise in the heat of the afternoon. Aaron was completely unaware of the warmth, as always, and just energetically painted. He looked up momentarily to suggest that I either swim elsewhere or strike a pose someplace so that he could paint me into the scene. Trying to be a bit helpful, and a little coy, I decided that the latter option was the better. Sitting still in the water was not good so I pulled myself up onto a large granite rock that had been worn smooth by years of glacial run off. It was hot to the touch, the sun having beat down on for nearly eight hours already. Family Sensation I loved the sensation of reclining there, the frigid water dripping off of me, cooling the rock as it warmed me. Once I was acclimated to my pedestal, I struck a variety of poses for Aaron. He quickly nixed several of them but settled on one of me laid out, with my elbows bracing my upper body and head off the rock, while my hair hung behind me. He had me pull my back leg up slightly so it was visible and asked me to turn my hips more towards him. Pleased with the arrangement, he took a few pictures and then went to work. I'm no model, and don't have much patience to sit still, but I did my best. He seemed very happy with the scene and his brush kept working even when he looked up to study his subjects. A breeze started to run down the hillside and through the copse of trees that framed the clear water of the lake. It was fine at first, as we neared the high point in temperature of the day, but would be a little annoying later. As I sat more on my baking slab of granite, my skin became covered with the sheen of perspiration as my skin sought to cool itself. It worked, with the help of the breeze, but my yellow bikini quickly accented my nipple problem which I discovered earlier. I knew that if I moved, that it would become obvious what I was covering and I figured that Aaron would not be able to make out much detail of me from that distance anyways. So I fought the urge to shift and the urge to abandon my perch as long as possible. After three hours, I was a little bored with it and had to go pee. I told Aaron so and he grabbed a few more pictures before releasing me from my duties. The swim back across the water refreshed me and I slipped from its placid surface like a seal. One more big smile for brother and I darted back down the trail for my changing spot and temporary restroom. Relieved, I returned up the hill and found Aaron setting up camping and cleaning up the old fire pit that was nearby. It was still quite warm out and he had changed into his swimming trunks and removed his shirt. He could have been a model for a men's fitness magazine. Even I had to take notice of his great body. I returned his whistles from earlier and was rewarded with a marshmallow plastering me on the forehead. Giggling, I sounded the battle cry and charged. By the time I had reached him, I had been hit by marshmallows, pine cones, and a dirty sock or two. And even though I survived my charge he quickly dispatched me. I cried mercy when he pinned me on the ground and started playing Chinese torture on my collar bone. He didn't let up for a few moments and even then he didn't get off me until I had promised my undying loyalty to the cause. I agreed, not entirely sure if there was a cause, or if he was it. Satisfied with his championing of "the cause", Aaron let me up and helped me to brush off my back and legs which were now coated in dirt and such. The sunset was beautiful and we decided that another day here would be fine. Aaron really wanted to do some more painting when the sun was up again and was also looking forward to some other activities in the area. I wasn't entirely sure what he meant, but his mischievous smile told me that it was probably a little out there. I cooked dinner for us- a real gourmet feast. It consisted of canned chili, bread, water, and some energy bars for desert. When we were finished Aaron broke out his harmonica and played for me. That was probably one of the best nights of my life to that point. As the light slowly faded from the sky, Aaron's little song seemed to whisper back up at it. The music was slow and somewhat sorrowful, but it seemed as if it was a sorrow that would end the moment the sun rose again. I just rested my head in my hands, watching him out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't believe how talented he was. And as the fire flickered an orange glow across his face that would hide it momentarily in shadow, I had to appreciate my life with him. With a last sigh of goodbye, the harmonica was put away. He stared up at me then, as if suddenly becoming aware of my presence. Aaron always managed to lose himself in his art and in his music. We didn't say anything for a while. We just sat there snuggling against one another in the firelight. I couldn't get close enough to him. I was still wearing my bathing suit and he was in his. The temperature drop made our point of contact the warmest portion on either of our bodies and soon we were wrapped in a comfortable embrace. I had shifted to sit between his legs and he had slipped to the ground behind me. I was holding his hands, which he had rested on my shoulders when I felt a growing twitch start in his forearm and spread down to his fingertips. The spasms were brief and rhythmic. It was a familiar reminder of our greatest difference. Aaron had very nearly been a cerebral palsy child. The disease forms after some sort of trauma to the cerebrum in the womb. Lesions form on the brain and cerebellum and cause a variety of damage to the nervous system. If whatever trauma it was that caused his symptoms had been only slightly worse, or happened slightly earlier, he could have had the full fledged illness and quadriplegia. Instead, he had momentary twitches and muscle spasms which he could not control. It had been why he had not gotten a scholarship to the Division I school we were enrolled in. He didn't pass the medical and physical exams. The twitches had become a fact of life for us and were not so noticeable to those who were only passing acquaintances. I was certain that a lot of our high school classmates hadn't even realized that he had them. What was noticeable and decidedly more dangerous was the lack of sensation that he had. There is a more common form of the condition which is called congenital insensitivity to pain. Aaron has a much rarer condition called congenital sensation deficiency. The word deficiency is used because its effects vary. Some of the sufferers feel everything but the lightest of sensations. Others, like Aaron, feel almost nothing at all. He almost died during our childhood on several occasions because he didn't understand the concepts of pain or sensation. Injuries could become fatal or serious because he didn't understand that something was wrong. One time, as a freshman in high school, he had broken his ankle while playing football. Instead of laying on the ground waiting for help, Aaron stood up and tried to run back to the huddle. He toppled over when his ankle folded underneath him. People were stunned to see this kid with a snapped leg staring at his foot in surprise. Our family had gotten used to it and his close friends and teammates were well aware of its potential risks. We all were cautious to remind him or notify him if something had hurt him or could hurt him. The worst part of it is, is the not feeling anything. People can live, with help, without pain to remind them of their injuries or dangers. But when you can't feel anything's touch the world is a different place. For Aaron, every movement was an exercise in practiced muscle control. He never drove any car but mine and his. If his seat setting was off by just a bit, he would have no idea that he was applying too much or too little pressure to the gas or brake. All the subtleties of life that we learn through touch were lost on him. I had asked him once, when we were younger, how it felt to not feel anything. He said that he remembered feeling really alone. And that sometimes he still did. Hugs and kisses from mom and dad didn't quite have the same meaning as they did to me. Aaron told me then that he liked people with expressive faces and movements. He liked voices and their intonations. He enjoyed smells and tastes. All of these other senses helped fill in the blank of what he was missing. Even so, I had told him I was sorry. He said that he was fine. But that night it was just the twitches. No accidents, no injuries. The next day would be just as wonderful as the day before. We stayed on at the lake, Aaron having spent the evening concocting some wonderful sounding activities for the following day. He wanted to finish his painting of me and do some swimming of his own. I didn't have to change in the morning, having spent the entirety of the evening in my suit. So first thing in the morning, despite a slight chill, I was stationed back atop my slab. Of course I was still worrying about my "nippiness", but Aaron didn't seem to notice whatsoever. When he finally did finish the painting he allowed me to escape my pose and dive into the refreshingly pure waters of the lake. I had gotten accustomed to that first momentary shock of the cool temperatures and rather then surfacing quickly, dove for the bottom. The water must have been purified by the mineral deposits beneath it, because it was entirely clear and free of typical mud. I was about fifteen feet down when I hit the bottom of the lake and felt the smooth firm surface of granite beneath my finger tips. Leveling off my dive, I kicked forward, struggling to maintain my depth. The rock was impossibly smooth from years of erosion and I kicked lower. For several seconds my body grazed over the surface of the lakebed until I could hold my breath no longer and pushed for the surface. By the time I reached the glistening blue top layer of the water, my lungs and eyes were just beginning to burn from the oxygen deprivation. But as always, that first breath of air made it disappear. Aaron was nowhere to be found, his easel and canvas standing where he had left them. I was looking around, my hair dragging over the water as I turned side to side. Failing to look for the obvious, he caught me from beneath. His hands slid up my knees to the back of my thighs and suddenly I was hurtling through the air. Right before I hit the water, I would catch side of my attacker, and the huge grin which spread over his face as I plummeted back into the freezing water. I gasped and snorted the water from my nose until I could regain the surface. But by the time I had managed to clear my eyes and try to spot where Aaron was, he had already disappeared. This time I was ready and the moment I felt his hands start their journey up my leg to launch, I hooked my ankles behind his head. The end result was much less spectacular then my first orbital journey, but I still managed to get dunked. Aaron, a fabulous swimmer, had managed to push his shoulders clear of the water until I sat on his shoulders, with his face sputtering into my bikini bottoms. The momentary perch would falter when he slammed me back into the water. I didn't let go, wanting to capture some revenge. Sure enough, he went down with me. We were about three feet under the water when he managed to escape my leg lock, but he wasn't about to be shown up. So beneath the otherwise calm waves we struggled for supremacy, playfully slapping, twisting, and pushing. Soon air had run out so we swam back for the surface. We couldn't contain our laughter and so we both ended up swallowing a lot more water then necessary. "Hey sis, look," Aaron whispered quickly. I turned a circle in the water and looked to where his eyes were fixated. Two young men and a pretty younger woman were hiking towards our campsite, having just abandoned the main trail. I felt my stomach sink a bit as I realized we had guests. Aaron was already swimming back towards the shore, halfway to protect his stuff and halfway to cut off the newcomers prior them entering our camp. "Hello," he offered a bit to quickly to be friendly. I followed, knowing that Aaron's mannerisms weren't always the best when he was put off. "Hi," one of the two guys responded. They looked to be about the same age as one another, probably around twenty-six or seven. The girl was decidedly younger, closer to my own age, and from the way she was acting, involved with one of them. I'd managed to get out of the water and join Aaron on shore by then. The moment I slipped from the water's reflective surface, one of guys (the single one) began to ogle outrageously. It wasn't a foreign experience but I didn't like it this far out in the woods. You feel safe when you are alone with nature, but when strangers intrude upon your solitude, I feel markedly more insecure. I did a quick adjustment of my bathing suit, trying to cover up a bit more skin then what it normally did. Damned bikinis are just too skimpy these days. "What are you guys up to," one of the newcomers asked. "Just hanging out and doing the trail." "Yeah, us too. We were planning on camping here tonight and getting on with it tomorrow," replied the other guy. "Don't mind sharing the space do you?" "No, its all public out here," Aaron replied. I got myself in as close to Aaron as I dared, trying to hide from the one man's steady stare and from the occasional glance of the other. I leaned out from behind him and offered a hand to the girl. "Hi, I'm Athena." She gave me a cutesy little smile. "I'm Catharine." The creepy guy quickly stepped forward, his thin long frame loping towards me. He reminded me of a starving wolf, with his mangy hair and unshaved scruff. "I'm Steven. It's a pleasure to meet you," he stated as he held my hand a bit too long. Sensing my discomfort with Steven, Aaron stepped in front of me and took Steven's hand. "I'm Aaron. Her boyfriend." Catharine giggled at the rebuttal to her hiking partner and the as of yet unnamed guy gave a derisive snort to his friend. Steven was probably a little taller then Aaron, around six foot three or so, but was decidedly less muscular. If Steven had been a wolf, Aaron would have been a badger. His thicker muscles made him much more intimidating. It was interesting to see how quickly we adopted the role of boyfriend and girlfriend; holding hands, petting hair, little kisses here and there. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. Once the awkwardness of the first meeting wore off, we settled down to some good conversations with the others. Apparently Steven and David, the other guy, were doctors who had just finished their residency. They had decided to take a break and go hiking before moving to the nearest big city to start up practice. Catharine had been an intern at the hospital they worked at. According to her, the relationship had been very sweet. I got the distinct impression that she was a little in awe of dating a doctor who was seven years older then her. My impression of the newcomers continued its downhill slide when Catharine decided that the swim was best approached in the nude. David had encouraged the decision, ignoring my disproving looks and had walked her naked down to the water and unceremoniously dumped her in. With a salacious grin towards Aaron and I, he jumped in afterwards. Aaron and I tried to keep our minds focused on our own business but they were just to weird and out there for us not to pay attention. The couple had been innocent enough in their playing. Every once in a while Catharine would end up above water giving everyone an eye full of her small breasts. I noticed Aaron looking a couple times and found myself peeved at him for it. I gave him a sharp elbow in the ribs which he didn't even notice. I surrendered. Boys will be boys. But given more time, the couple got a little more frisky in the frigid water. At first it was just passionate kissing but it became apparent that David was standing on solid ground and that Catharine's movements weren't just the result of swimming. It took me a few more seconds to figure out that he was giving her a few fingered delight. The arm woven between their bodies evidenced that. More and more put off, I was about to turn and tell Aaron that we should retreat to our tent and give them some time alone, when I heard him mutter a little expletive under his breath. I turned back to look at the couple and was astonished to see that Steven had joined them, and that two pairs of shorts were now floating at the surface of the lake. The three were pressed in a sandwich with Catharine the meat and the two boys the bread. Catharine's cries were getting quite pointed and her head was tilted back on Steven's shoulders as she bounced on the unseen appendages, which she was no doubt riding. Furious, I grabbed Aaron by the hand and yanked him away from his little stage performance. "Fucking pervert," I practically yelled at him as he settled onto his sleeping bag. "What the fuck?" "You fucking pervert," I swore. It wasn't a normal habit, but I was a little pissed to be the only sensible one between the pair of us. "Screw you. You were watching too." "Not like you. You sounded like you had been running for a few miles, panting and huffing. I can't believe you." "Bull shit. You don't see that everyday. That's probably like a once in a lifetime thing." "And that makes it okay!?" "Hell yeah it does. She's hot. If that were me, I'd be doing the same thing." I sputtered for a few moments at the revelation my brother was just the same as the other guys. "Well, fine, go watch then!" "No. You'll just be pissed at me." "Get out! I don't want to be in here with you, pervert." Aaron didn't really seem to need all that much encouragement and he slipped from the tent. When he did, I noticed the tent in his shorts. Men. I flung myself on the floor for a few minutes before I decided to put some sweat bottoms on over my bikini. I zipped the tent up and found myself crying. I wasn't sure why it hurt me so bad that Aaron had been looking. He was just a boy. I guess I just expected more from him then the others. Especially when they were as creepy as Steven and Dave. So I just lay there pouting in my sleeping bag, trying to ignore the rising temperatures inside the tent. It was a nearly impossible task, and I found myself dripping with sweat after half an hour. I stripped out of all my clothing and pulled my towel on over me and lay on my back, it my only defense from the perverted world outside. About five o'clock, I heard voices finally in the camp site and the sounds of unpacking. I was hideously bored, but refused to leave the tent. I didn't want to admit defeat just yet. When the tent zipped open and Aaron stepped back in, I was a little relieved until I caught on that his shorts were dry but his hair and skin were soaked. "Prick," I muttered and rolled on my side. It was a little too careless and I quickly had to adjust the towel to avoid displaying any of my own goods. He changed on his half of the tent and let out a small sorry before he stepped outside and went to kitchen area. It was impossible to avoid thinking about what he had probably been doing out there, and doing so stirred up two drastically different emotions in me. One was sadness and the other was the faintest tinge of arousal. I had never had sex, mind you, but had plenty of sexual experiences. You don't survive in high school any more without giving a little and getting a little. I knew enough to know that the right things could be very good. And that delighted smile I had seen on Catharine's face when she was pressed between the two guys told me that it was probably very good. Swearing at myself I pushed myself up off the floor and slid on my top and a pair of trunks over my newly replaced bottoms. I stepped from the tent into a different world. Aaron was sitting awfully close to Catharine on a log at the side of the unlit fire pit. She had one bare leg draped over his and only a towel covered her body. I assumed she was nude, considering she had never even bothered to get a bathing suit out. Aaron was talking animatedly about his art, and she was offering her services as a model. Steven and David sat close by watching with leery smiles. When I stepped into full view, I saw their gaze switch to me. Steven was the most overt of the gazers as always but David had a little bit of a lecherous smile going as well. Catharine looked to me, then to her boys but turned back to my "boyfriend". She let her leg fall a bit further, and everyone had a clear view of her snatch. Whore. Family Sensation Determined to maintain some sort of control in the situation, I did what any girl would do. I flirted. And flirted some more. And when they broke out the stash of liquor they had hiked in, I drank, and flirted. Of course I ignored Aaron. I wanted him to know how it felt to have the trip ruined. Steven never left my side and I probably should have seen that my little tease was going to cause problems. I had allowed the bikini top to slip a little farther, showing off my assets more than I was normally comfortable with. But Catharine was always one step ahead. After forty minutes of drinking or so, she had just dropped the towel and seated herself naked in Aaron's lap. I couldn't believe the slut. It was becoming more and more uncomfortable for me to stay there. She had given up on any pretenses about being nude for the sake of nudity and was starting to dance for my brother. And if that wasn't enough she was helping guide his hands over her small body. She was probably five foot two inches, one hundred pounds, maybe even less. She had the look of a girl five years younger, but the movement of her hips and look on her face spoke of an experienced woman. Satisfied that she had him enchanted, she was working on some more pornographic displays. I was shocked to find her straddling his two knees. The effect ended up with her thighs pulled far apart and her pussy on display for my brother, and its silhouette available to the rest of us. When Aaron's fingers pressed into it, I nearly threw something. But alcohol and Steven had a good idea. Steven pulled me in closer to him and began to make out with me. I was at first put off by the idea and tried restraining him, but I figured I could punish Aaron for abandoning me. I knew he didn't like the guy, so it seemed like a reasonable escalation. That theory lasted shortly and my slightly inebriated consciousness was finding it harder to resist my weapon of revenge. Soon Stephen was copping a feel through my top, his hands roughly squeezing and working over my breasts. I had just allowed the admittance of his tongue into my mouth and his fingers beneath my bikini, when I heard a loud groan. Out of the corner of my eye I watched as Catharine went down on my brother. I knew he wasn't feeling anything from the touch of her mouth to his penis, but the sight floored me. I stood quickly, nearly tearing my top off in the process and left a questioning Stephen behind. I retreated to my tent, tears starting to form in my eyes. I had just stepped inside and sprawled once more in the nylon enclosure when I heard the tent open behind me. "Go away," I muttered. "Fat chance, tease." I whirled to see my make out partner, an angry erection pointed outward from his naked body. "Get out fucker!" My voice wasn't loud enough. That one shout was the only one I got. Stephen was on top of me, shoving the sleeping bag over my head as he struggled to get me under control. Luckily for me I was pretty fit and was able to resist him for a good while. But when Dave joined the melee I was done. Between the two of them, they managed to get my arms pinned and my legs apart and I figured that was it. I was going to be raped. The boys weren't going to make it that easy though. Once they were satisfied with holding me down they untied my top and worked my shorts down. They had a little bit of trouble with the bikini bottoms but the tie sides made it more easy than it should have been. I'll never forget the feeling of helplessness that filled me as I lay on the rough floor of the tent. I could only squirm and cry out into the sleeping bag. But it is truly a feeling of being reduced to an item that is the hardest. I felt ashamed, and afraid, and guilty, and useless all at the same time. My tears were the only thing that could move freely. David just kept on laughing to himself as he surveyed my body maliciously. Steven had been teased enough already and was more than eager to get things going. "Ohhh, I'm going to enjoy fucking her. Aaron said she probably wouldn't want any, but Catharine's got him taken care of." Fucking jerk off brother I thought to myself. I felt the large head of the man's erection start to press into my pussy and I clamped down with all my might. The rod just roughly slid over the surface of my lips and out. It was a small victory, but one I was determined to repeat. Steven tried realigning the penis tip with my hole, but once again the strong muscles down there protected me from invasion. I was starting to breathe a sigh of relief when I felt David's hands find my breasts. He squeezed each breath painfully and was tugging on my faithfully rebellious erect nipples. "Go down on her man. I'll hold her arms. Get her wet and loosened up and you won't have any problems. But do it quick. I don't want her boyfriend coming in on this." Steven nodded in agreement and carefully slipped his shoulders under my thighs. The moment I had free rein of my ankles and calves I started to viciously kick. But the positioning was terrible and with his shoulders pressing into the back of my thighs I could only land glancing blows to the side of his body. My kicks paused for a moment when I first felt the hot brush of his lips against my own. It was an entirely new sensation and it felt really good! Even in my anger and violent desire to avoid the rape, that touch was hard to forget. And when his tongue began to gently press between my folds, I had a harder and harder time of resisting. I managed several weaker kicks every minute, but his tongue was obviously practiced in the art form and I was impossibly distracted by the touch. I sensed the growing warmth of desire start in my stomach, the same one which indicated to me that it was time to masturbate. But it grew much faster and much more intensely than it ever had before. Someplace in a different world I could hear my voice whimpering pleasure, while my feet tried to maintain that I did not want this. When a finger joined the insult, I knew I was baked. The single long digit pushed farther into me then I had ever been able to explore and I could feel the muscle strength in my vagina start to melt away. I squeezed my thighs hard against the side of his head and let out a few last kicks, knowing that soon I would be done. But as before, they amounted to nothing. His finger was working in and out of me now, at a slow pace that timed with his tongues back and forth licks. My naked thighs were shivering now from the pleasure and I could maintain no more pressure or direction with them. David's hands had stopped their rough assault on my breasts and now absentmindedly caressed them as he watched his friend work. Soon I would be finished. Just when Steven pulled his juice covered lips from my vagina and angled his cock once more to my waiting, and now wanting, pussy, things reversed themselves. I wasn't thinking of anything but how much I needed the impossibly large shaft inside me. I was so caught up in that desire that I didn't see Aaron entered the tent. The next few minutes seemed like a strange dream and I vaguely remember masturbating myself to an orgasm as my brother and my two assailants went at it. There was something so erotic about seeing my naked brother pounce on Steven, grabbing him by his neck and hurling him out of the tent. David had shot from his kneeling position over my head towards Aaron and managed to drive him to the ground. Steven was up too, his fist coiling back to smash into Aaron's face. Instead it slammed into Dave's back as Aaron kicked the taller older man up off him. I heard a whoosh of air come from Dave at the impact. I had regained my own knees, but instead of helping Aaron, I sat there with my hand buried between my thighs. I was intensely aroused by the three naked fighters and their brutal combat over me. The second blow from Steven landed, but Aaron responded in kind and much more powerfully. The shot knocked Steven on his back and for the first time Aaron was on his feet. He stood in an aggressive stance, his legs braced apart and his arms out to his side. David and Steven tried to rush him together, but a right upper cut from Aaron blasted Steven into unconsciousness. A knee jerk caught David under the chin and he too went stumbling forward, until he limply collapsed at my feet. Staring into the dimmed eyes of the older man, I came, some sort of victorious release for surviving. Aaron turned towards me, an animalistic look on his face that frightened me from my orgasmic reverie. But instead of pouncing on me and claiming me for his own, he sunk to my side and pulled me to him. We knelt like that, his arms over my shoulders and mine around his waist for several minutes. I cried a little more and said my thank you over and over. I could feel his tears on my back too, and I knew that he regretted letting things go as far as they had. Soon it became painfully apparent that he and I were both naked. I gave him the first opportunity to change, so that I could do so without having to worry about the pair waking up again. Catharine had appeared and started swearing at some point, but Aaron just threatened to call the cops on her partners if they didn't get out of there right away. The last I saw of David, Steven, and Catharine was them lurching painfully away into the fading light. From the direction they turned on the trail, I figured they were going home. When they were finally gone, I said a prayer of thanks for my brother and joined him in the tent. No words were found then. I felt foolish for allowing myself to play into the game and I am sure he was ashamed of his falling into their set up. Instead, he just cradled me in the darkness, until we fell asleep. I woke up late the next morning, sore from my brief struggle, and painfully rational about the experience. I couldn't believe how quickly I had surrendered to my desire or how strange it was that I had orgasmed during the fight. Aaron was already up, cooking up some eggs. He was wearing a pair of board shorts and was without a shirt, several dark bruises appearing from the few landed blows of the other two. I was sure that they looked worse. Feeling guilty for my role in the previous evening's brawl and thinking with a clear headed, I realized I really had no reason to restrict or be envious of his interaction with Catharine. At least, that was what I tried to convince myself. So as an olive branch to my brother, I ran and threw my arms around his neck and jumped on his back. The fun thing about his illness was the bad sense of balance he had if he didn't see you coming. I nearly knocked him to the ground with the pounce, but he recovered in time to save us both. "I'm so sorry, Aaron. I had no right to be jealous or controlling. I was such a bitch last night. I'm so sorry." "I shouldn't have just abandoned you like that though. This was our trip, and I could get it anytime. It was my bad." "No, you have a right to do what you want to and I am not your mother. I promise I'll be more careful next time. Just be gentler around me, 'kay?" "Sure, sis. I'll try to be a little more attentive to something other then my penis. You accept my apology?" "Yeah," I replied. And that was the end of it. We wouldn't mention it again, except to remember the strangeness of the events of the trip. Nervous thoughts about potentially encountering our previous days guests had me a little on edge and I did my best to entice Aaron to stay at the campsite one more day. There were a few more things in the area that he had been interested in checking out, but had not yet. He would accept my request to explore further, mostly out of a need to comfort me. I knew he could tell what I was feeling, but he didn't let on that his sis might be a bit scared. About two hundred yards off the lake, through a small clutch of trees and a wide open meadow, was the end of a small glacier. During winter, the snow pack would run right into the lake, and if it was cold enough, the glacier would extend over it. But now in the peak of summer, the lake was full of freshly melted snow and the lush green glow of the meadow was unveiled. Aaron apparently knew that the glacier was here. He had packed a couple of large black garbage bags and quickly unfurled them the moment are feet hit snow. I was a little surprised that he kept right on hiking up the hillside, half-heartedly wondering what he had in store. I was back in a pair of shorts and had finally gotten rid of the bikini top (although I had traded it for a slightly more immodest one). I had determined that I would toss the other one. Every time I looked at it, I had the feeling of Steven's hands reaching beneath it and caressing my tits. It was not a memory I was fond of. Probably the most surprising thing about the hike up the glacial slope was how warm it was. I would have thought that the snow pack would have at least cooled the air markedly above it, but only the lowest several inches seemed to be affected by its presence. The bags confused me, right up until Aaron unfurled one and jumped onto its smooth plastic surface. "Whooohooooo," he cried as he raced down the bumpy slope, his body jostling over waves in the snowy surface. Catching on, I followed suit. The first ride down was not the most pleasant, me having little experience with impromptu sledding. I nearly lost my top and almost broke an arm on a spill I took after curving towards a patch of rocks. When I managed to sit up, Aaron had burst out laughing at me. Before I could do anything he had snapped a few pictures of my startled and disheveled appearance. I laughed with him, feeling free of the burdens of the previous day for the first time. The rest of the afternoon was spent sledding down the hill. It was a glorious amount of fun and the perfect weather for it. How often are you allowed to go sledding in the middle of July in a bathing suit and shorts? By the time we were finished, my side ached and my cheeks hurt from laughing so long. Aaron had taken a particularly nasty spill and cut his shoulder, but the crash had been worth it. He had been showing off, attempting to surf on the nearly destroyed bag. As always, he had done surprisingly well at the activity. That is, until he had covered about three quarters of the slope. Then his bag had got caught on something and he had tumbled off and forward and rolled head over heels down the hill. When I got to his side, he was lying motionless and I was worried that maybe he had been actually injured. But when one eye opened and a large grin began to crease his lips, I knew he was fine. Then we broke into another fit of furious laughter. He didn't get the cut from the fall actually, it was from me. I had tackled him for his impudence at playing dead and we had wrestled for a few moments, with him coming to rest on top of me as always. It wasn't until I was pinned that I saw the steady trickle of blood on his shoulder. It wasn't so bad as to be an emergency, but we decided it was a day, and headed back to camp. After I got him bandaged up, we went and sat by the campfire, alone and free. We ate some Smores that night. Then we retired to our tent. The night was uncommonly cool so we did not use the partition in the tent. Instead we snuggled in close to one another, our sleeping bags blending together and our breathing fading into unison. I remembered thinking that our lives were like that, or should always be. Unified, synchronized, and in time with one another. The next morning I woke to the bright glow of the yellow sun in our tent. It lit up the thing synthetic material and helped to stir me from my exhausted slumber. I started to roll over, towards Aaron, when his hand stilled my movement. "Don't move. Almost finished." It was a phrase I had heard so many times in my life. Almost finished, meant that he was drawing and thought he would be done soon. A perfectionist when it came to his art and sketches, it usually meant another thirty minutes. But I was contented to be close to him, and I listened the shuffling sweeps of his pencil on his pad. I felt a flush of blood to my face when I realized that my top was not tied in the back, and that the shoulder straps had been pushed down over my upper arms. The small slices of material barely covered anything. I was disconcerted, knowing Aaron had done it while I was sleeping. Since I was facing away from him, I didn't move and didn't ask him about it till after he announced his completion. "Done!" "Let me see it," I asked, rolling towards him, still holding my top in place. I saw his eyes drop momentarily to my cleavage before darting back up. He didn't realize he had been caught. But he proudly held up the picture. It was good, really good, even if I felt I was a bit air brushed. The sketch covered from the tip of my head where it rested on my pillow to just beneath the start of the sleeping bag. The top I had been almost wearing was no where in sight. I assumed it was missing out of creative liberty. But other than that it was perfect. Every strand of hair seemed natural, as if the woman on the page had crawled in there and fallen asleep. I felt a tinge of admiration for her, in her perfection, forgetting that it was supposed to be me. The way she cradled her head with one arm and let the other drape out of sight over her stomach and the smooth curve of her waist upwards to her chest- it was all beautiful, elegant, graceful. I wanted to be like her. "What do you think?" "Its really good. Really, really good." "Thanks," he said, genuinely happy to have my approval. "I had a great model." "Yeah. You just kidnapped my sleeping position and created a myth." "I think it looks just like you," he said. "Sure." He gave me a big lopsided grin, the one of a puppy who had been looking for attention and received it. I returned my own. Aaron would leave the tent and allow me the opportunity to get dressed before we hit the trail again. The day was much cooler then the previous ones, so the brisk hike felt good. We were on a steadier path now, less uphill climbing, so the exercise was truly refreshing. I felt like I hadn't stretched in days and each long step seemed like a perfect remedy. I wondered if Aaron ever realized all that he was missing with his illness. Little things like the ache of a muscle or its relaxation, were foreign. It was kind of a sad thought process and I felt more connected with my brother than ever. I had never truly examined how difficult his situation must be. Everything we feel, touch, sense, was missing for him. Even if he didn't understand what was gone, I knew, and knowing that he was missing out on all those things bothered me. It would become an itch in the back of my mind, one I couldn't release. The feeling would bother me for the entirety of that leg of the trip. I was sure that he understood that something was up, because as soon as our backpacks hit the ground at the place we would call home for a night, he turned towards me, his hands going to my shoulders. As he looked into my eyes he asked, "Is everything okay sis?" "Kind of. I've been thinking all day... I've been thinking that it really stinks that you can't feel anything. Even if you don't know you're missing it. It just seems unfair! At least you could have been able to feel the good things. I couldn't live without it. The muscle aches, the feeling of a nice bed, hugs, kisses, a good blanket, the warmth of a fire, all of that stuff!" He pulled me in close as my speedy explanation faded into the setting sun. "It's okay sis. Sometimes I miss it. But most of the time I don't. I know that there are some things that I will never understand. But, in the end, I know what they are. Here look," he said as he dropped to one knee by his pack and pulled the cylindrical tube he used to store his drawings in.