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Big Girls Don't Cry

By: sethp



"The smell of your skin lingers on me now. Again I let you slip away back to your hometown without so much as a kiss on the cheek. I hope you know how much I need to talk to you. I'm crying right now and I can't stop. I saw you looking at me during the gathering yesterday. Can we talk?"

CLICK

    Eve sent the email and instantly started to freak out. She could see the family scorn, the headlines in the paper. She could smell the stale jail cell and hear the ridicule of her friends and neighbors. Her life was probably over but there was nothing else she could do. 

Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?

    Eve was head over heels in love and lust with her Uncle Seth. He was so sexy with his salt and pepper hair and tattoos. He boasted about how he worked out at the gym four days a week and at forty, he was in better shape than most of the boys her age. 

Uncle Seth was funny and kind and always had fatherly advice for Eve. She could always count on him and always enjoyed the family gatherings and holidays, when she could talk and share her life with him. She guessed that she had always loved and admired him but after graduating from high school her feelings had intensified to the extent that her life was nothing but darkness ahead without him. She knew that they were meant to be together but did he? Could she convince him?

As Eve got older she had blossomed into a beautiful woman and had inherited her mother's full bosom and thick curly hair. Uncle Seth seemed to have noticed as well. She was always catching him glancing her way. 

Oh, he was very much a gentleman and very discreet about it but she could always tell when he was glancing at her chest or staring just a little bit too long into her eyes when they were in the same room.

Yesterday was the impetus that drove her to finally send her email. It was desperate, poorly written and lacked any tact whatsoever. Eve was drowning and needed Uncle Seth to save her. 

Everyone was getting ready to leave Eve's parent's house and head home for the weekend. Uncle Seth seemed to be glancing her way more than normal and when she went to give him a hug goodbye she felt an erection in his pants. Was that from her?? He did feel the same way about her! She tried to call him all this morning and couldn't get through. Should she drive over to his house? He lived forty-five minutes away and she didn't even know if he would be there. 

"You have mail!" sounded out of her speakers.

A tear streamed down her cheek and she started to shake. It would be a rejection. She just knew it. 

Eve sat looking at her screen for five minutes before she gathered up the courage to open her new message. It was from her Uncle Seth of course. She read it.

"Eve, we have to talk. Can we meet tomorrow? I'll be in your area in the morning. Please don't say anything to your parents about this. We have to set a few things straight and I apologize if you think I've led you on. How about we meet at Freedom Fighters Park, near the timberline at 9:00 am?

Uncle Seth"

Eve instantly replied back yes. This was far more then she had hoped for. He didn't sound angry and this wasn't an outright rejection of her. Eve set out her sexiest bra, top and denim skirt for tomorrow's meeting and braced herself for his possible rejection. 

Somehow, though, she already felt better than she had in years. She had finally mustered up the courage to tell Uncle Seth the truth and it wasn't so bad. 

In the morning, Eve showered and dressed in the clothes that she had laid out the night before and checked herself out in the mirror. Her top was a low cut frilly shirt that really showed her amazing cleavage. Her tight denim skirt accentuated her curvy hips all the more since she wore thigh high leather boots with very high heels. Eve thought she looked like a dream, and winked at her reflection before leaving her room and house.

Self-doubt started to creep in on the drive there and she had to fight back tears. She kept repeating her uncle's words from years ago. "Big girls don't cry. Big girls don't cry." Eve was not going to cry today.

Eve noticed uncle Seth's Jeep parked at the far end of the park, by a copse of trees as she pulled into the parking lot. There wasn't anyone else around.

Uncle Seth was standing by his Jeep drinking some coffee and waved to Eve as he saw her pull in. Trembling with uncertainty, Eve got out of her Mazda and walked over to her uncle. 

"Uncle Seth. I'm sorry about the email. I..." Her words trailed off as she started to fight back tears again. One escaped and left a trail down her cheek as she started to tremble.

"It's ok, Sugar," He said smiling at her. "I'm not angry and you don't need to be upset."

He walked over and cleared the tear away with this hand.

At his electric touch Eve broke down and collapsed into her uncle's chest with big heaving sobs shaking uncontrollably.

"It's not ok. I'm sorry...I do love you." She sputtered out as the tears began to flow.

Uncle Seth held her tightly, stroking her hair. "It's ok, Sugar. It's ok." Over and over he told her until she stopped shaking and started to calm down. 

"Let's walk and talk, shall we?" He asked pointing toward the jogging path thru the trees.

Eve nodded and they walked side by side through the wonderful, springtime woods. As they walked, Uncle Seth began to speak. "Please believe me when I tell you that I'm not angry. Also please believe me when I tell you that I'm not rejecting you. You are the most beautiful young woman that I've ever seen," he continued, "but Eve, this could never work out between us and we cannot let this continue."

"Uncle Seth," Eve responded, "I understand, I just need to get this out of me. I've been holding these feelings inside for so long. Can I just ask you one favor?" Eve said as she gazed into her uncle's wonderful green eyes.

Uncle Seth replied. 

"Before I go home today, can I have just one kiss? Just one?" She pleaded. "I need to put closure to my feelings and it's the only way."

Seth coughed and looked uncomfortable as he thought about her request and turned to look at her. 

"Eve," he spoke softly to her, "Just one kiss then. No one can know about this, ok? No journal writing. No anything and it ends today."

Eve nodded and moved close in front of her uncle. Suddenly everything seemed very uncomfortable and awkward. Uncle Seth seemed to be feeling the same awkwardness as they looked at one another not knowing where to put their hands or how close to stand to each other.

Eve was the one who took control of the situation and embraced her uncle, crushing her heaving breasts between them and mashing her lips into his. Uncle Seth responded passionately and they kissed like lovers for the first time. Eve parted her lips and her uncle did the same. She was surprised to feel his hands roaming over her body and lush hips. This was the moment and she wasn't going to let him get away. He did want her!

"Eve! We can't do this!" He said as he broke their embrace.

Eve placed her hand on the front of his tenting pants and dropped to her knees, right on the jogging path and yanked his kaki's down. Uncle Seth's cock sprang into view and he was not wearing underwear! Eve grabbed his cock and started to stroke him as she leaned forward taking him in her mouth. 

Seth grunted in pleasure, knowing that he was beyond the point of stopping and he reached for her thick red hair. He started to thrust into her mouth as he got harder and more excited. Eve started to cry again with her uncle's cock in her mouth. Maybe fairytales do have happy endings?

With a wet plop, Uncle Seth's cock slid out of Eve's mouth and she pulled Seth down onto the jogging trail with her. She didn't give a fuck if anyone came down and saw them and she was pretty sure that Uncle Seth felt the same way. 

"Get on your back, Eve." Uncle Seth demanded.

Eve looked up at him with lust filled eyes. Eve unclasped her shirt and bra offering her magnificent, wonderful breasts to him. 

"Is this what you've been trying to see for all these years?" she asked him lustily, "These are all yours now."

Then Seth hiked up Eve's skirt, grinning as he found out she didn't wear underwear either and entered her with his entire length. 

Uncle Seth started to drive in and out of his niece faster and faster as he leaned forward latching onto one of her thick nipples and biting down hard. 

The combination of her uncle's teeth on her nipples and his cock deep inside her put her over the edge and Eve screamed in pleasure as wave after wave of orgasm washed over her like the waves of an ocean.

Seth collapsed onto his busty niece and they kissed passionately again. 

"I love you, Uncle Seth." 

"I love you, too, Eve!" he responded, "I can't tell you how many gatherings I didn't attend because I knew you would be there or how many times I came home and masturbated with images of you in my mind."

"I need some release sugar." Uncle Seth said. Despite their animalistic fucking, he still hadn't cum yet.

Uncle Seth stood up and Eve positioned herself in front of him and wrapped her lips around his shaft and tasted herself for the first time. She was so turned on that she just had to have her uncle's sperm in her mouth. 

"Please cum in my mouth Uncle Seth," she whispered back up to him and took him deep in her mouth again, sliding her full lips up and down his wonderful cock. She started to caress his balls as she sucked him still deeper into her mouth and throat. She could feel his cock twitch seconds before she tasted the first jet of his seed in her mouth. It was hot and salty and she knew that she could never go another day in her life without it.

Somehow nobody ever came down the path that morning and they were able to get dressed and back to their cars no one the wiser. 

One last passionate kiss and embrace and a promise to see each other the next day and they were off.

They were playmates and lovers and Valentines, sharing their secret words until the end of their days. 

The END sethp!

Big Girls Don't Cry



It's been said that they grow them bigger in the country. Well, I don't know if that's really true or not. What I do know is that, at 21, I'm what some folks call a big 'strapping' young man. My six foot tall frame easily carries my 180 pound body which is made up of solid, muscular tissue and bone. I'm strong, healthy, and full of masculine virility.

As to virility, well, one of my past girlfriends once said, "Goddamnit Jack, you're 'hung like a horse'!" Of course now, the girl was exaggerating somewhat. We have several horses on our farm and some of those horse cocks are damn near 2 feet long! Hell, my little old man-sized cock is only a little over 7 inches long! I must say though that my cock becomes a big chunk of swollen meat when it gets excited.

Shit, that big fella inside my jeans was swollen and excited right now! I'd gone down to the barn to pitch some hay to the horses and cows. I saw two of my sisters milking a couple of our cows. Ordinarily, I'd never paid much attention to these girls, but today I was especially horny. Hell, I was either going to have to jack-off soon or get me some pussy! Damn, there wasn't anything in this world I liked more than pussy! 

Now, I wasn't the only guy who didn't pay much attention to my sisters. The two were a couple of tall 'big girls'. And by big, I mean 'fat'. I know this word is not politically correct. In truth, I'd say the girls were closer to being 'chubby' than fat. At about 5-foot-ten each, I'd guess each girl probably weighed near 200 pounds, or more.

My sisters' height and weight had been a sore spot for both girls. Guys just didn't go for big girls. Neither girl had ever had a serious boyfriend and I'd bet a hundred dollars that they're both still virgins. I knew the girls were none too happy about the situation, but I'd never heard either of them cry about it. 

I stood in the doorway to the milking shed and stared at my sisters. They were sitting on milking stools with their heads bent over against the side of a cow. Both were dressed in ragged jean shorts and tops which were a little tight on them. There was something about the way they leaned over that drew my attention. Their shirts had hiked up and I could see the crack of their asses before they disappeared into their jeans! 

Hell, those were two of the nicest ass cracks I'd ever seen! This got me to wondering if the asses that were covered up were just as pretty as the cracks. I began studying the girls with a more studious eye. At 19, Sherry was a blue-eyed blond with a bubbly personality everyone loved. I swear I couldn't see any bra straps under her pale-blue top! Well, I couldn't see any straps under the other girl's green top either. Bonnie, at 18, was a green-eyed brunette who was just as sweet and personable as her sister. I had me some nice sisters, I did.

But hell, I wasn't looking at these girls as sweet sisters! No, my horny teen mind was looking at a couple of possible pussy providers. Wicked I was for even thinking of it, but I wanted my cock inside one of those nice girl's cunts! 

Each of my sisters had a firm grip on two big, milk-swollen cow tits. They were squeezing and tugging on the long nipples forcibly. Streams of warm milk and cream squirted into the milk buckets between their legs. Without thinking, I spoke aloud, "Hey, I can do that!"

Sherry and Bonnie twisted their heads to glance at me. The two innocent girls smiled at me and continued milking. As the oldest, Sherry was the first to respond to my comment, "Big deal, Jack. Anybody can milk a cow."

Seeing my sisters' smiles made me realize that the girls were actually very pretty in the face. They were a lot prettier than I'd ever noticed before. I smiled right back at them and said, "Sherry, milking cows is not what I meant."

Curiosity compelled both of my sisters to open their eyes wide in puzzlement. Sherry voiced the question they both wanted answered, "Jack, if you didn't mean milking, then what did you mean?"

Mischievous teasing entered my voice as I answered, "Girls, I meant that I can squeeze and tug on myself and make milk and cream splash into your milk buckets."

Farm girls my sisters might be, but these two sheltered young females were too virginal and innocent to know what I meant. Even though they were well into their advanced teen years the girls had little knowledge about the human male's masculine anatomy. I don't believe they'd ever seen a guy's cock in their lives and they most certainly had never seen a guy's cum shooting out of his cock's cum hole. 

Sherry laughed at my ridiculous claim. She said, "Oh Jack, boys can't make milk or cream. Why, that's just crazy talk!"

Bonnie echoed her sister's sentiments, "Yeah Jack, only females can make milk and cream and they make it in their breasts. There's no way boys can do it! I know you can't do it!"

I was on the point of laughing at the girls' innocent naivety, but I didn't. Instead I quickly countered, "I bet you I can!"

Sherry and Bonnie snapped back, each speaking the same words, "I bet you can't! I bet you anything you want. What do you want to bet?"

I knew what I wanted, but I pretended indifference. I shrugged my shoulders and nonchalantly said, "If I can't do it, then I'll finish your chores for the day. If I can, then you'll have to do something for me. Ok?"

The girls were so sure they would win they nodded their heads as a sign of agreement to the bet. We even sealed the deal with handshakes. The girls then watched in astonished disbelief as I unzipped my pants and pulled them and my underwear down to my knees. It was a warm summer morning so I had no shirt on either.

The girls gasped aloud as my swollen cock sprang free. Their eyes gazed in mesmerized fascination at the erect manhood before their eyes. My work-hardened hand gripped the thick, meaty shaft firmly and I began to stroke. My own eyes looked at two pairs of sweet, luscious lips which my own lips were begging to kiss.

Increasing my rhythm, I pumped my meat and thought about pussies. My cock summoned forth seminal fluids. Streams of milky, creamy semen and sperm shot out and splashed into the milk buckets between the girls' legs. I milked until I was dry and then shook the last few drops into their pails.

The girls' faces were flushed with unexpected excitement. They couldn't believe what they'd just witnessed with their very own eyes. As I pulled up my pants, I said, "Ok girls, what about the bet? Do I win?"

Sherry looked at Bonnie. Bonnie looked at Sherry. Unspoken words passed between the two sisters. Sherry finally answered, "Ok Jack, you win the bet, although we don't think that was really milk and cream coming out of your...your thing. But, we said if we lost the bet then we'd do something for you. What do you want us to do?"

I didn't want to scare off the two innocent girls by being too bold. My answer came out as soft spoken words, "Well, I'd like to play with your tits for a few minutes. That's all, just raise your tops and let me touch and play with your boobs. Will you do it? A bet is a bet. Will you pay off?"

Again, the sisters looked to each other. They had a short whispered conversation which I overheard, "We have to pay off the bet. Don't we? I'll do it if you will, ok? Oh, ok I will if you will."

The girls pulled their milking stools closer to me and lifted their tops. I dropped to my knees on the straw-covered floor in front of them. Hell, I'd been right when I thought I saw no bra straps. Neither girl had on a bra. What I now saw just about took my breath away. Four of the nicest tits I'd ever seen in my life jutted out before my eyes!

Goddamn, if my friends knew my sisters had tits this nice, I'd have to fight them off with an ax handle! But, for now these big beautiful boobs were mine all mine. We raised fruit and vegetables in a huge garden near our house. I'd say these breasts on my sisters' chests were about the size of fully ripened cantaloupes. Boy-o-boy those big mammary mounds were gorgeous! I silently asked myself, "Were the hell do I start if I'm going to play with them?" 

I started by grabbing a handful of tit from each girl's chest. I cupped each tit tenderly. I've got big hands, but hell one hand was not enough to do justice to those magnificent mounds! I played with all four tits one-handed, but I wasn't really getting the job done to my satisfaction. 

Frustrated, I gave up on the one-handed tit playing. I turned to Sherry and grabbed one of her tits in a two-handed hold. I played with that tit and massaged the quarter-sized dark-pink nipple and the two-inch pale-pink areola. Irresistible temptation drew my mouth toward the beautiful expanse of white breast meat. My ravenous mouth sucked on Sherry's nipple. Hungrily, my lips and tongue kissed and licked every square inch of the girl's delicious boob. With the same tit-starving hunger, I gorged myself on the other breast. 

I wasn't forgetting Bonnie. I moved to her chest and greedily kissed and licked each delectable teen tit. So tit-hungry was I that sucked with enough force to call forth squeals of protest. I forced my tit-crazy mind to slow down and told my mouth, my lips, and my tongue to play a little more gently. Hell, I didn't want the girls to tell me to stop!

Neither sister told me to stop. Neither reminded me of the fact that the bet called for a 'few minutes' of playing with their tits. A few minutes had long since passed. Time flew by in a blissful fury of tittie playtime fun. One girl, I couldn't tell who, said, "My arms are getting tired holding up my top." 

I had a simple solution to that little problem. I said, "Girls, just go ahead and take your tops all the way off. Then you can put your arms down. Hell, I'm nowhere near ready to stop playing with your beautiful breasts! Damnit girls, I didn't know you two had such wonderful baby-dolls hidden down here!"

Shyly, the girls stripped off their tops. Sherry blushed bashfully and hesitantly asked, "Jack, do you really, really like them? Don't you think they're too big, too fat, and too gross? Bonnie and I think guys are put off because we are too big, too tall, and too chubby. Do you think we are?"

I answered candidly, "Truthfully girls, yes, I used to think so. But now, oh good god girls, I think you two are the sexiest, most gorgeous, most desirable female beings I've ever known in my life!"

As a reward for my truthfulness and sincerity, the girls jumped from their stools and began smothering my face, cheeks, and lips with kisses. The sides and front of my naked muscular chest was cocooned in a big tit and plump flesh sandwich. 

Abruptly, the girls pulled away. Sherry's face reddened and she spoke apologetically, "Oh god, Jack! We didn't mean to kiss you on the lips like that. Boys don't like the idea of kissing us. Not one boy has ever kissed either of us. Who wants to kiss chubby big girls? I bet even you don't want to! Do you?"

I answered sternly, "Well Sherry, there's another bet you girls would certainly not win! Why, I like your kisses just fine! But, you two are kissing too fast. How about we slow down and try a few slow kisses? And Sherry, since you asked, I'd like to start with you first."

I sat my sister's hands on my shoulders and pulled her body against mine. Wrapping my arms around her back, I crushed her ample bosoms against my rock-hard chest. My lips pressed against hers. My lips were too dry and so were hers. I moistened mine with my tongue and then I licked hers. This time when I kissed her, our slippery wet lips molded together in and erotic, joyful display of genuine affection. 

I kissed her again and she kissed me with a hungry, 'love struck' obsession. Sherry acted like she was a girl who'd been dying of thirst and had just found water. She put her heart and soul into the kisses she was sharing with her brother. Finally, when she came up for a breath, she sighed and said, "Oh god Jack, I love kissing you! I'll love you for kissing me like this until the day I die!"

Bonnie then came into my arms. This young sister of mine was just as thirsty and hungrily obsessed with kissing me. Our mouths, and lips, and tongues played merry games of thrilling oral delight. This girl too spoke words of endearment, "Oh goodness Jack, I didn't know kissing would be so good! I never knew a boy's lips could make me feel this happy! Jack, I'll love you forever and ever, too!"

I realized that I loved my sisters, too, and I told them so. Love and lust had been overwhelmingly aroused in me. My cock was again swollen and begging to once more get out of my pants. Kisses were fine and so were tits, but hell, I wanted some pussy!

I twisted the girls around so that their backs were pressed against the sides of my chest. My arms encircled their fleshy waists and I played once more with their tits. I was unsure as to how they would react to what I planned to do next. But hell, I wouldn't know if I didn't just do it!

So, do it, I did. I unbuttoned two jean-shorts buttons and I unzipped two zippers. My mind silently screamed, "It's now or never!" Slowly, my hands slipped in under the waistbands of two pairs of panties. I reached in deeper and came upon two curly bushes of hair. Unconsciously, I wondered if the color of the girls' bushes matched the color of the hair on their heads. 

Digging down deeper, I found the pussy treasures I sought. My hands cupped two well-developed, large-sized pussy mounds. To my surprise, I found out that both Sherry and Bonnie's pussies and panties were already dripping wet from feminine vaginal excitement. 

Undeterred by the slippery wetness, I played with the girls' pussies. My hands and fingers squeezed, tickled, and teased the abundance of warm, moist feminine flesh. My sticky-wet fingers found a welcoming home inside two vaginal openings. I dug in as far as I could. Whimpering protests let me know I was digging too roughly against virginal hymens.

I was having a good time playing with pussies, but hell, I didn't want to make the girls cum. Not yet, I didn't. If there was any way I could, I wanted my cock inside one of those nice, wet cunts. I wondered what the girls might say about that. Shit, these big girls would probably run away and cry!

The girls must have been reading my mind. They pulled my hands out of their panties. They scooted away from me and had a whispered conversation. They then came back to my side and faced me. Acting as the spokesperson, Sherry said, "Jack, Bonnie and I are both virgins, but we don't want to be. No boy has ever shown any interest in...in fucking us. I guess we're too ugly and fat! Jack, we've talked it over and we're just wondering... Jack, would you...? Would you have any interest in...in taking our virginity from us? We'd both love to give our cherries to someone we love and we love you!"

Damn, my cock jumped excitedly! It was swollen so big it was about to bust the seams in my britches. I answered hurriedly, "Goddamnit girls, I told you you're not ugly or fat! Why, you two have really pretty faces. Now, I'll admit that you are 'full figured', but hell every inch of your figures are pure feminine delight! I'd fuck you in a heartbeat and be damn proud to do so!"

Elatedly, the girls again threw themselves at me and rained kisses all over my face. When their impassioned attack began to fade, I stood up from the milking shed floor and pulled my sisters up along with me. I grabbed up two ratty, old horse blankets and led the barefooted girls into the nearby hayshed. 

I threw several fresh bales of hay onto the dirt floor and arranged them into a square-shaped form. I spread the two blankets out to make a comfortable bed. I directed the girls to pull off their shorts and panties and climb onto the makeshift bed. 

Panties and shorts went flying off. The naked girls sat on the edge of the blanketed hay bales. Before lying back, the girls had another secret, whispered conversation. This time when they faced me Bonnie was the spokesperson, "Jack, you've played with our pussies and titties. So, before you...fuck us, can we... Can we play with your penis? Just for a few minutes would be enough. Neither one of us has ever even touched one. But, both Sherry and I think you have the most beautiful penis in this whole wide world!"

Without awaiting my permission, Bonnie unbuttoned my pants. Sherry pulled down my zipper. Together, the girls stripped my pants, underwear, socks, and shoes from my body. My exposed manhood burst out in all its fully erect glory. Damn, I couldn't believe how big, hard, and horny I was! I'd never felt so proud to 'show-off' my manly cock to anyone before. For some reason, I wanted my sisters to really enjoy touching and playing with me. I loved these sweet girls, these sweet sisters of mine.

I was still standing when four feminine hands grabbed onto my cock and began to play. Not one inch of my swollen shaft went untouched. My balls were squeezed, juggled, and bounced. Fingers ran through my pubic hairs combing, pulling, and tugging. Sherry's voice heatedly inquired, "May we kiss it, Jack?" 

Again, without waiting for an answer, the girls began kissing my meaty shaft. Warm, wet lips and tongues kissed and licked with a frenzy of cock-hungry desire. The girls' lips were moving so frenziedly that the head of my cock accidentally slipped into a mouth. Sherry's mouth, it was. The girl recoiled in fright. The girls had heard of cock sucking, but neither had ever done it.

Sherry looked towards Bonnie for guidance. Hell, that girl didn't know any more about cock sucking than her sister did! Yet, that younger sister of mine was game to try anything. Bonnie leaned forward and plopped the head of my cock into her mouth. She licked and sucked awkwardly. 

Inexperienced and naïve, yes Bonnie was, but the girl's 'hands on' training was soon paying off. Her mouth released a flood of saliva which lubricated the rigid rod she was sucking on. Before I knew it, the girl's head was bobbing up and down on my spit-lubricated shaft. My wet cock was disappearing deeper and deeper into my sister's deep-throated mouth. Goddamn, it felt good!

Suddenly, Sherry grabbed a handful of her sister's brunette hair and pulled her head away from my cock. She spoke harshly, "Goodness Bonnie, don't make Jack' milk and cream come out yet! We want to save it so he can fuck us. But, I saw how you did it, so I want to suck him for a minute myself!"

Without saying another word, Sherry's lips took Bonnie's place on my cock. Her mouth was already dripping wet with cock sucking anticipation. Again, my shaft became imbedded in a girl's cock-hungry oral cavity.

Sherry's cock sucking was no less energetic than her sister's had been. In fact, this girl's sexual wantonness had been aroused to the point where she was loosing control. In a furious flurry of kissing, licking, and sucking, the inexperienced teen wench swallowed in every inch of my elongated, engorged shaft! 

Oh shit, guys are not programmed to handle this much cock sucking pleasure! I let Sherry play just a little while longer, but then I grabbed her curly blond hair and forcibly pulled her head away. My voice was none too gentle when I said, "Damnit Sherry, if you girls want me to do some fucking, then hell, you two had better stop sucking!"

After shoving the girls back into a reclining position, I dropped to my knees before them. My eyes gloried in the sight of so much naked female flesh. Never again would I think of these girls as being 'fat'. They were certainly plump, full-figured ladies, but hell every inch of their feminine bodies were well-proportioned, sexy, and erotically stimulating! Big girls they were, but they were 'my big girls' to love and play with as I wanted! And, what I wanted was to fuck them. I wanted to fuck them both! I hoped and prayed for enough sexual stamina to do just that.




Big Girls Don't Cry



Suddenly, I realized that it was about goddamn time I was getting myself some pussy! I scooted over between Sherry's legs and spread her fleshy thighs wide apart. A bush of curly blond pubic hair matched the color of the hair on her head. This thatch of feminine curls was not too thick to cover the generously-sized pussy mound beneath. 

Damn, I'd never seen so much beautiful pussy flesh on any one girl in my life! I just had to eat some of that gloriously sexy feminine fruit. My head descended and my mouth captured Sherry's clit. I had a mouthful of stiffened, protruding vaginal meat. My cunt-hungry mouth sucked greedily. My pussy-crazed tongue flicked and licked enthusiastically. Sherry's ass wiggled and her voice whimpered softly.

I didn't stop with this girl's clit. I kissed, and licked, and sucked on every delicious morsel of feminine flesh between my sister's legs. My tongue descended into a sweltering hot, sticky wet, virginal vaginal hole. I was paying no attention to the flood of female moisture coating my mouth and face. I licked and lapped the juices in an effort to keep from drowning. I tongue-fucked this girl's pussy as deep as I could. Sherry was sighing heavily.

Old barns have several distinctive aromas in them. These scents competed for my attention. I smelled hay and straw. I smelled cow shit and dirt. But, the most overpowering scent I smelled was the sweet, erotic aroma of hot pussy! I had this smell in my mouth, on my tongue, on my lips, and in my nose. Damn, I love the smell of fresh, wet-hot pussy!

Speaking of pussy, hell it's about damn time I was getting my cock dipped into a deep, dark cunt hole! I maneuvered my body into a suitable position between my sister's legs. Grabbing my blood-engorged shaft, I gently entered Sherry's virginal vaginal hole. 

Feminine juices immediately lubricated my cock with a slippery coating of thick wetness. I had every intention of breaking my sister's hymen as gently as I could. Yet, my plans were upset by my uncontrollable, undeniable lust and pussy hunger. My hips bucked forward and my rock-hard, stiffened shaft plunged into my sister's pussy in one quick, violent thrust. The girl's hymen was ripped asunder. Sherry's scream pierced the silence of the morning. I knew I was hurting her, but this big girl didn't cry.

Instead of pulling away from the pain, Sherry's pussy welcomed the violent intruder which was forcibly entering her most sacred feminine inner sanctum. The girl's long, stocky legs encircled my hips and pulled my cock deeper inside her. She began bucking and jumping upwards to meet my inward and outward thrusts. 

I was fucking my sister Sherry and that sweet girl was fucking me. This girl and I lost track of time and place. For a while, we slowed down and fucked slowly and gently. Eventually, lust and a race for orgasmic relief overpowered us. We began fucking with insistent, hard-hitting poundings of cock into cunt. 

Orgasms exploded inside our conjoined loins. Sherry began cumming and so did I. Oh god, this was the best orgasmic experience I'd ever had! I knew it had to be Sherry's, too. 

The two of us let the blissful carnal feelings carry us away into heavenly happiness for as long as we could. Sherry had two more rounds of ecstatic orgasms, but then she fell back on her blanket exhausted. The girl was sexually spent. She'd just had all the sex she could handle for now.

Unbelievably, the same thing couldn't be said about me! After fucking this big girl, I ought to be pussy whipped and worn out. But hell, I wasn't! I glanced aside and saw another naked virginal girl who was awaiting her turn at being deflowered. I wasn't going to disappoint that girl. Nor was I going to deny myself another piece of pussy while I could get it!

Hopefully, my cock and my young man's virility would allow me to 'stand up' to this pussy deflowering task. My hardened shaft had begun to soften, but I bet myself that if I'd eat some of Bonnie's pussy then my big fella would get up and be ready to go again.

So, that's what I did. I began eating Bonnie's big girl pussy. Lordy, this sister's cunt tasted and smelled just as good as the other one did! She was just as wet and horny, too. 

Bonnie was wiggling and squirming all the time I was eating the ample fullness of her nice, big pussy. Brunette was the color of her pubic patch. Again, my face, mouth, and nose became saturated with pussy juice. 

Even at six foot tall, I was still a growing boy. At every meal, I always took seconds. I was now having myself a second helping of sweet pussy to eat. And, damn it tasted mighty good! By the time I finished this delectable meal, my cock was hard and stiff again. 

Bonnie was whimpering and whining with joy and unbearably demanding lust. She pleadingly begged, "Jack, oh Jack please fuck me now! Please fuck me like you did Sherry. Please fill my pussy with that big chunk of beautiful meat you have between your legs! Will you do it now please?"

Hell, I wasn't hard of hearing and I wasn't the kind of guy that had to be asked to do something twice! Of course I had every intention of fucking this sister of mine. I guided my cock to its pussy heaven home.

With one vicious thrust the entire length of my stiffened cock penetrated deep into my sister's blistering hot, steaming wet vaginal tunnel. Just as Sherry had done, Bonnie screamed as her tender, virginal hymen was torn. And, just like her sister, this big girl didn't cry.

Once again, I found myself enjoying the rhythmic thrill of slow and fast pussy fucking fun. I could tell that Bonnie was having a good time, too. Her long, stout legs pulled me against her body. Pussy muscles latched onto my swollen shaft and tried to tug and squeeze the very life out of it. But hell, I'm a big healthy boy and I know how to take care of my endangered cock! In self defense, I pounded my rigid-hard meat into the big girl's pussy with rapid, vicious, jackhammer thrusts. 

At long last, I was able to wrestle my sister's orgasmic treasure from her virginal cunt. Bonnie began cumming. Oh, I knew this girl was cumming hard! Her hot, sweaty pussy sprayed my loins and pubic hair with female cum. Just to be fair, I sprayed the insides of her pussy with what little semen and sperm I had left in my testicle sack.

Bonnie and I delighted in shared orgasms. We let their joys and thrills join our hearts and bodies in a bond of lust and love. This girl had a few more earth-quaking, pussy-shaking orgasms before she finally surrendered and lay still on the blanket. 

This time, I too fell exhausted on the blanketed hay bale bed. I lay between my two big girl sisters. The three of us were a dirty, sticky, wet mess. Our bare feet and knees were covered with barn dirt from walking and kneeling on the dirt floor. Our skin was sweaty from sexual exertion. Their pussies and my cock were coated with a messy mixture of male and female cum blended with saliva and virginal blood. 

Unexpectedly, spoken words came from the open hayshed door. I recognized the soft soprano tone of my mother's voice, "Jack, when you get through playing with your sisters, you three had better wash off in the stock tank. I won't let you three into my clean house if you're as dirty and messy as you are now!" 

As soon as I heard Mom's first words, I sprang to a sitting position on the hay bale bed. Sherry and Bonnie flipped over onto their bellies and hid their embarrassed faces. 

Mom turned to walk away, but stopped and said, "If you're wondering how I knew what was going on down here then I'll tell you. I was hanging some laundry on the clothesline out back when I heard Sherry's screams and squeals. By the time I got to the barn, Jack you had your head between Bonnie's legs. I knew then why Sherry had screamed. I saw her wet cunt dripping with her virginal blood and your semen. I watched you eat Bonnie's pussy and then I watched you fuck her. I must say, my horny kids put on quite a good show! I wouldn't mind watching your next performance if you wouldn't mind an audience. So, don't you kids worry about me telling you to not do this again. Once eaten, forbidden fruit is hard to resist. I guess we'd better get you girls on birth control. Now, you all clean up and come get your breakfast." 

Mom turned and disappeared from sight. I looked at my trembling, embarrassed sisters. Instead of joining in on their humiliation at being caught, my eyes fixated on two wide, plump, asses. Guys can be vicious and mean at times. Before this morning, I might have cruelly called these girls 'fat-assed lard-butts'. But now, well hell, I loved the beautiful expanse of luscious, lily-white feminine ass flesh sticking up in front of my eyes! 

I slapped each sexy ass with a stinging smack. My head bent over and my lips rained kisses onto Sherry and Bonnie's fleshy, flabby ass cheeks. I sat back up and spanked those sweet asses again!

Perhaps my ass whipping was a little too enthusiastic. Squealing from the stinging blows, Sherry and Bonnie twisted around and lay on their backs. These two girls grabbed me and wrestled me to my back on the bed. The girls then turned to me and snuggled into my outstretched arms. 

I lay there on ratty old blankets and held my sweet sisters in a tender, loving embrace. A blond head lay on one of my shoulders and a brunette head lay on the other. My chest and sides were covered with four full-sized 'big girl' breasts. The girls each had a long, stocky leg draped over my spread-eagled legs. Blond and brunette pussy bushes were pressed against my hips. 

My hands and fingers were playing with the warm, smooth skin on my two sisters' backs. I turned to Sherry and then turned to Bonnie. I whispered, "Hey baby dolls, I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you both."

Sherry beat her sister in their race to get kisses. This girl was a mature 19, but had never been kissed until today. As if making up for lost time, the girl kissed me passionately. I kissed her with a newfound blossoming love. 

Bonnie's turn came next. She too, at 18, had not had a kiss before today. This girl kissed me with a fervent, ardent obsession. I kissed her with the same obsessive passion. 

The three of us snuggled a little while longer. Finally, I had something to say to my two sibling lovers. I spoke softly, "Girls, I've got a 'hot date' with Becky Sharp later today. She's a very pretty and sexy girl. And, Becky damn well knows it! She sometimes treats me 'bitchy' when I try to get a piece of pussy from her. Why, that girl is nowhere near as sweet and nice to me as you girls are!"

I could tell that my sisters were becoming uncomfortable with my talking about another girl so soon after I'd just fucked them. So, I went ahead and said what I really wanted to say, "If it's ok with you girls, I want to 'blow off' Becky and get myself some more pussy from you two sweet young ladies later today. What do you think? Would you be willing?"

These sisters of mine attacked me with kisses and words of impassioned delight. I heard the words, but they were spoken so quickly I couldn't tell which one said what. Yet, I knew I heard this, "Oh Jack, that's a wonderful plan! You can tell that 'bitch' to go to go straight to hell! We'll give you all the pussy you want! You don't need anymore girlfriends. We'll be your very own stay-at-home girlfriend-lovers and you can fuck us anytime you want to!"

While they were speaking, the girls had my cock and my balls in their hands. I could hardly believe it, but I was beginning to get another stiffened erection! The girls and I had to go and wash off and then have breakfast. With my cock already hardening, I wasn't so sure about being able to wait until later today to get some more pussy from these girls! Hell, I might have to have some before lunch! 

I jumped off the hay bale bed and pulled the girls to their feet. The three of us stood there in all our glorious bare-assed nudity. We hugged and kissed with an excited awakening of forbidden lust and love. My eyes were close to becoming teary from happiness. 

Standing there in the musky old barn, my sisters put their heads on my shoulders and I held them in a tender, adoring embrace. I knew the girls were ecstatically happy, too. I began feeling dripping, warm, wet droplets falling on the naked skin of my shoulders and chest. Realization came to my mind in a flash. The warm wetness I felt was tears. Why, my big girl sisters were crying!



Big Girls Don't Cry



Hannah was 18, blonde, and beautiful. Her long, dirty-blonde hair fell over her shoulders like a waterfall; flowing in beautiful locks. She was about to graduate high school in a week, and the prom was tomorrow night. However, Hannah was pouting, writing her journal as little tears fell onto the paper, blotting the ink and smudging the words her pen had etched. She was crying and sniffling softly. Her brother Jonathan was playing video games in the room next door, when he paused the game. 

"Hannah?", he called aloud to his sister's room just feet away. "You okay sweetheart?" He knew that Hannah had voiced some concerns about the annual seniors' prom to him a few weeks before, but he figured she was over it by now. However, when Hannah closed her door, walked to his, and knocked, Jonathan knew she was not over it.

"Can we talk, Jonny?", she asked him, still sniffling and pouting. Jonathan liked being alone with Hannah. Though she was indeed, his sister, he still remembered when she came of age years ago, and he had too. He remembered the long lonely nights of listening next door to Hannah, moaning lightly and rustling in her bed, and he just masturbated the night away, moaning her name. Those fantasies had passed away, but his lust was just being rekindled now that she was 18, and now that he was 19.

"Sure. What's wrong sis?" She looked back at him through hazy, teary eyes.

"Well, I'm afraid again. Afraid that guys will laugh at me for being overweight."

Jonathan smiled. She looked so cute with that pouty expression.

He looked at her and said lovingly, "Oh, Hannah, you're not overweight. You should check the mirror. You're a size 6, pretty normal. You just have wide hips. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact--" Jonathan reached out, and grabbed her thigh, just inches from her crotch--"I like thick hips. Gives you more to hold on to." 

"Oh Jonathan, every girl you've ever been with was a perfect 10. Stop teasing."

Jonathan knew she made a valid point, at least somewhat valid. Every girl he'd been with was a perfect 10, but none of them satisfied him sexually like he'd wanted. But the rising erection beneath his jean shorts told him that this may be his only chance. 

"Well, sis, none of them were as beautiful as you, or as hot." With that, he leaned in and kissed his little sister on the neck, sucking lightly. 

Hannah was taken aback. "Jonny! I'm your sister!" 

Jonathan stopped for a moment, then replied slyly, "Does it feel good, Hannah?" 

Hannah looked absolutely flushed. But she spoke up in a quiet tone that hinted of mischief, but also of interest.

"Well, of course it does!" she said it a hushed whisper. "But it's wrong..." But her actions said otherwise.

Hannah laid back and pushed into Jonathan a little, trying to get some pleasure out of him. But Jonathan only kept going, now kissing and licking around Hannah's cleavage. His hands pulled her shirt up some, revealing that Hannah had no bra beneath. 

Hannah helped Jonathan pull off her shirt, and moaned lightly as Jonathan licked around her small areolas and her nipples. Her nipples hardened as her brother began to suck them. "Mmmm, yes Jonathan. Right there, that's it." Hannah's breathy voice was almost a whisper in his ear. 

Finally, Jonathan began to unbutton her pants. Hannah lifted her hips into the air to allow him more room to remove the pants from her legs. As soon as Jonathan got them off, he instantly went for her pink, heart-covered panties. He pulled them off with his teeth at first, just down to her knee. At last, with a smooth, fluid movement, he uncovered his little sister's beautiful, shaved pussy.

He looked with awe at the virgin button before him, the hymen glistening with lubricant she had produced herself during the foreplay. Jonathan began pleasuring Hannah by lightly licking and kissing her little clit. Now Hannah felt real pleasure, intense pleasure like she'd never felt. Her brother Jonathan was licking and lapping at parts she'd never explored fully before this moment. 

She placed her hand on Jonathan's head; running her fingers through his brown mane. She moaned with his every movement; he moaned into her sex and the vibrations caused her to scream aloud. 

"Oh God Jonathan! I'm getting close...don't stop, please! Mmmm! Oh! Yeah!" She moaned and yelled with every move of Jonathan's slick, wet tongue.

Every pleasure-filled moan spurred Jonathan onward, his erection growing with intensity. But he wouldn't give in. He wouldn't allow himself to take her cherry. No, he would just continue to lick and suck her hard, pink bud. 

Jonathan's fingers found their way to Hannah's little hole. With some difficulty, he was able to slip one finger into her hole. Now Hannah was really getting into it. She screamed his name, begged for more, and asked him to go faster. Jonathan pulled out enough to let her catch her breath, and then slid two fingers into his little sister's snatch, violently finger fucking her virgin hole with a sheer intensity that made her writhe in pleasure, lifting her hips into his thrusts. 

Finally, Hannah could take no more. "I'm coming, Jonny! Oh, yeah! Oh, God, Jonathan! Don't stop now! I'm coming! Yes! Oh! Ohhhhhhh!" With that last, sustained moan, Hannah released her juices for Jonathan. Her climax caused her to squirt somewhat, and Jonathan pulled his finger out, lifted it to his mouth, and tasted Hannah's sweet, tangy juice. 

"Mm, thank you Jonathan. That's exactly what I needed," Hannah said between breaths. The two lay there, spent, and sweating heavily, finally realizing just what they'd done. Hannah broke the silence again by kissing Jonathan full-on with her tongue and lips locking with his in a passionate embrace.

When she finally stopped kissing him, she spoke up. "Now I can go to the prom! Maybe I'll get lucky?" she asked Jonathan. 

"Sure, Hannah," Jonathan replied. "Even if no one else fucks you tomorrow night, I'll do it for you when you get back, okay?"

Hannah nodded. She could now go in peace.



Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 01



This is my first attempt at a non-brother/sister incest story, so honest opinon would be appreciated.

Many thanks to Mricemen1964 and Firefly Girl for their sense of reality and willingness to assist me in making this story happen, and for not being afraid to tell me when they thought I was full of it. Thanks, Guys, love you both...

If you liked it, please rate it, if not, let me know why, I promise I will always listen, even if I don't always agree!

__________________________

So here I am, hammering my cock into my kid sister, and my aunt loves every second of it. I kiss my sister hungrily as I pound into her, and my aunt kisses me back just as needily. Confused? I was, so let me clue you in, by beginning at the beginning.

I grew up in Bristol in the 1980's, in Clifton, the elegant Regency-period town-within-the-town at the top of the Avon Gorge, in the west of England. I had only one sibling, a sister, Marlene, Lena for short, who was just under a year younger than me. We lived in a huge, echoing, icy-cold Georgian house near Clifton College and the famous Clifton suspension bridge, attended the local Catholic primary school, and maintained the usual older brother/annoying little sister relationship that one would expect from our normal background and family life.

Dad worked at Rolls-Royce, in the engine division at Filton, precision machining blades for jet turbines. Mum was a Head Nurse in the Renal Unit at the Bristol Royal Infirmary in the centre of Bristol, not too far from where we lived. When I left Primary School and moved into Secondary School, Lena was devastated. Every day of her entire school life, I'd taken her to school, sat with her in the dining hall for lunch, and then brought her home with me in the afternoon, and now she'd have to do that journey and spend the day alone, for a whole year. She was not happy, and the thing about Lena is, when she's not happy, she gets democratic and makes sure everybody gets some, so there was a lot of ill-feeling and tantrums. The only bright spot (for her) was that my new school, over in Long Ashton, gave out 45 minutes before her school, so I had time to get home and go and collect her, and this became my routine. 

I honestly never minded; Lena was a pretty little girl, tall for her age, with long, straight, bright chestnut hair cut in bangs, and piercing blue eyes, just like mum (and nothing like me, which should have given me pause for thought; I had dusty blonde hair, and green eyes; dad had light brown hair and blue eyes too, so I should have wondered where my green eyes came from; but I never did), and she would tell me of her day, hold my hand when we crossed the road, and basically enjoy as much of my time as I was able to give her.

It turned out to be quite a lot; dad's workplace was way across the other side of town, and mum worked unpredictable and irregular shifts, so Lena and I would be home first most of the time, so we'd do whatever homework we had, and usually be finished by the time dad came in, around 6pm or so. Dad would start dinner, and collapse exhausted in a recliner while Lena and I would potter around, talk, watch TV while keeping an eye on whatever was cooking, and generally kill time until mum came home. Not an exciting life, but a normal one.

When Lena hit 11, she moved up into secondary school, and she of course elected to attend my school, no surprises there. As I was now one year ahead of her, (Year Seven) I was becoming allergic to her presence; I was starting to hit that age when girls become...interesting, and the last thing I needed when I was trying to look all windswept and interestingly cool to Year Seven girls was to have my Year Six sister hanging around me all the time. As I got older, it got worse, and I started telling her to leave me alone, to get lost, and I took to avoiding her as my embarrassment at having her hanging around me grew. Now, when I look back on how I was with her, I hate myself; she was my little sister, and for years I'd been the centre of her world, and now here I was, pushing her away, and not being too polite about it either. 

I didn't pick up on this, of course; all I knew was that I'd come home from school, alone, having ducked her somewhere, then hear her slam in and run up to her room and start crying, but it never occurred to me that it was me making her cry. And it never occurred to me to go and comfort her; that wasn't my job anymore, I was a grown-up now. Yes, I know, don't judge, you were a young teen boy yourself once.

I never noticed she was growing, either, I never noticed anything about her these days, self-absorbed little tick that I was, and Lena was becoming more and more attractive as she got older. When I was 16, one of my classmates told me he was going to ask Lena out. I was a little puzzled as to why he'd want to ask out a Year 10, when he was a Year 11, and he looked at me like I was stupid. 

"Because Lena's a real looker, that's why! Any objections if I ask her out?"

I said something along the lines of "why are you telling me, I don't care, just keep your hands to yourself!" and off he went to ask her out to the cinema that night. A couple of hours later, our paths crossed and I remembered that he was going to ask my sister out.

"So what did she say?" I asked him, more out of something to say than any real interest.

"She asked me what you said, so I told her you said you didn't care, and she got mad at me, and started crying and stormed off like I just spat on her or something. Your sister's a fruit loop, did you know that?" he said nastily, so I dragged him around a corner and smacked him around a little, just to remind him to watch what he said about my sister, but it was automatic outrage, done because it was expected of me, not because I felt he was impugning my sister – I truly thought I didn't care what he said about her.

When I got home that afternoon, delayed because of cricket practice, Lena was already home, locked away in her room, so I left her to it, and got down to my homework. I heard mum come in, then dad, and soon I started smelling dinner being prepared. I was miles away in my history homework when a knock on my door brought me back to the present day.

"Come in!" I called and when no-one did I walked over and opened the door. Lena was standing there, her face tear stained and her eyes red, so I asked her what the problem was.

"Darryl, why do you hate me?" she asked me flatly, catching me off-balance, so I blustered a reply.

"Don't be so daft, I don't hate you, what a stupid question!"

She looked ready to cry again. "You do hate me, you won't talk to me, you avoid me, you're rude to me all the time, you're always angry with me. Why are you so angry with me, Darryl? I never did anything to you, yet you won't even let me talk to you! What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much?"

Nothing at all. She'd done absolutely nothing.

I had no answer, other than the right one, which was I'd gotten so used to ignoring her in my quest to look cool, I didn't know how else to treat her anymore. She only ever tried to be nice to me, and I treated her like she didn't exist, or I took everything out on her, when it wasn't her fault at all. Realising that only made me angry with myself, and she was standing there, the perfect target.

"Look, you half-wit, I don't hate you, but I really have no time for you or your pathetic whining, I don't care what you think, and I don't care what you do, or who you do it with, just as long as you do it somewhere else, and leave me alone! Now piss off and stop annoying me; get some friends, get a life, and stay out of mine!"

I said it to hurt, and she looked liked I'd slapped her, the tears ran down her face, and I knew I'd finally gone too far, but it was too late, the words had been said, and I couldn't recall them. All she'd wanted was some time with her big brother, for me to hug her and say "don't be silly, of course I don't hate you!" and sit down with her for five minutes, and I didn't even have that for her. Oh I'd fucked-up royally; I knew it there and then.

Lena turned and ran into her room, sobbing, and I followed her as she slammed her door. I knocked and called out to her, telling her I was sorry, but it was already too late; in her mind I'd finally told her what I really thought of her, and now I'd lost her for good. She never came down for dinner, and mum went up to see what was wrong, coming back down to stare daggers at me. She and dad had a whispered conference in the kitchen, then dad called me into the lounge.

"Darryl, just what did you say to Lena? She's upstairs having hysterics, what did you do?"

He dragged the whole thing out of me, in pieces. He and mum both knew I was uncomfortable with Lena hanging around me, and as I gave him the reasons for my outburst he looked less and less friendly.

"So she wanted to know why you turned from her big brother into the surly little prick you are now? I would guess it's because you've turned into a surly little prick. She's only 15, and she looked up to you and trusted you, and this is how you behave? In another age I'd take my belt to you, but now, you have to live with it. She looked up to you, but you had to go and tell her that you didn't care what she did, or what happened to her! You couldn't let her be your kid sister, just once in a while, even for a little while. Well, mister, you just proved how unworthy you are of the respect and trust she's been trying to give you for years. Lena's been trying for years to be part of your life, and you never let her in, not once, and now you've lost her. I hope you feel proud of what you've done; I hope it makes you feel big and manly! I'm ashamed of you; now just...just get out of my sight. And stay away from your mother; she's trying to fix what you did, and she's in no mood for your attitude and smart mouth! And you stay away from Lena, you hear me?"

I slunk up to my room. Everything he'd said was true, and now I'd have to face what I'd said and done to my only kid sister.

I didn't sleep much that night; everything I'd said, and everything dad said, rolled around continuously in my mind. When I came down for breakfast in the morning, I didn't wait for the others, for Lena, I'd been ordered to stay away from all of them, so I just grabbed a banana for breakfast and left; anyway, I couldn't face anyone, not after last night. 

I spent all day trying to spot Lena in school, but had no luck, and went home as late as I could, slinking into the house and up to my room. When mum called me for dinner, I made an excuse and went to bed early. As a consequence, I got up early, so again, I took a piece of fruit for breakfast and left before anyone else was around. Again, I spent the day trying to spot Lena, and again no luck, and when I got in, I went straight to my room and skipped dinner, again – I really had no appetite anymore, I had my guilt to chew on, that kept me busy as I reflected on how completely I'd managed to throw myself out of the family.

This became my routine now, leave the house early, early, see Lena in school and avoid her, go back as late as I could, do my homework and go to bed. I think the family got used to not having me at dinner; mum would knock and call me, but I never answered, so she probably assumed I was asleep, and sometimes Lena would knock too, calling out to me. Dad would come and knock for me too, I pointedly ignored all of them; I had nothing more to do with them, and I was rapidly losing contact with them. I'd find some dinner on a tray outside my room in the morning, and I'd step over it, or take it down and leave it on the counter, take some fruit and go to school. Weekends, I'd leave early in the morning, go to the cricket nets at Bower Ashton and work on my batting form; then stay there 'til it got too dark to see the ball, and I got too tired to swing that 2 ½ lb bat any more, and then go home, let myself in, go to bed, and sleep like a stone. 

I hardly ever felt hungry, either, but I did get tired more easily, I slept like a stone most of the evening and all night, and I had a lot of really bad headaches. This went on for weeks; I was in no mood or suitable frame of mind to spend time with any of my family, and other than quick glimpses of Lena at school, I never saw or spoke to any of them.

The last weeks of school-term before the summer holidays, I managed to avoid all contact with my family. I usually came in late enough that they were already engrossed in the TV, so they never heard me come in. They'd stopped calling me for dinner, or leaving me any, I never answered or ate any of it, and I'd developed the habit of moving around so quietly in my room I'm not even sure they knew I was in there. All I knew was, I'd been told they didn't want me near them anymore, and I certainly didn't want to see any of them again. I had no more homework, my GCSE examinations were all over, and where I'd once planned on going into the 6th Form to study for my A-Level examinations, I thought that would be pointless now. 

All I wanted to do was get out, find a job somewhere a long way away, and never come back; I had to, I wasn't wanted or needed here anymore. I gradually convinced myself that I was no longer a part of this family. They didn't need or want me, and I'd hurt everyone too much to go back to them. I stopped needing to eat, food just made me sick anyway, and a piece of fruit in the morning gave me all the energy I needed without making me feel sick or throw up. The one thought in my mind was that I had to get out. I had some savings; they'd do until find somewhere I could fit in. I

t would be true to say that at this point, what dad had said to me had taken over my mind and I wasn't even remotely rational anymore; the idea that I wasn't wanted, that I wasn't part of them anymore had completely taken me over, and the only real thought in my head at any given moment was that I was supposed to leave, soon.

Dad had other ideas however.

I slipped into my room one night to find him sitting on my bed, and mum standing there, waiting for me; I flicked on the light and there they were. Mum came over to me, and tried to hug me, but I stepped back; suddenly I didn't want anyone touching me, and especially not her; the last thing I remembered clearly about her was the expression on her face as she glared at me. She stepped in closer, and hugged me anyway, and it felt...wrong, unpleasant, and I twisted out of her grasp.

"Don't do that again, don't...touch me!" I asked her, not really seeing the shocked, hurt expression on her face, in her eyes; I was busy shuddering as my skin crawled from the contact.

"Darryl what have you done? You're all bones! Oh my God, you've lost so much weight...!" There it was, more criticism, one more reason to leave.

"Baby, we haven't seen or heard from you for weeks; you don't talk to us, you don't eat anything here, you don't eat lunch in school, you don't spend any time with us, we don't know where you are, or what's wrong! Sweetheart, we're all so worried about you! Why are you doing this to yourself?"

I looked at her with almost complete disinterest in what she was saying."

"I'm doing what you wanted, I'm leaving. I'll try and find a job somewhere, find my own place, and stay away from all of you, that's what you both wanted." 

Now dad had a question. 

"Son, why do you think you need to leave?" and I knew the answer to that one right away.

"Because I screwed-up so big I can never fix it. Lena will never be my little sister again, and she'll never need me again. So I should go; no-one wants me here, you told me that; I have no reason to be in this family, and no need to be here; maybe I can fit-in somewhere else." 

Pretty pathetic, huh?

Dad sagged, looking old and defeated. "Darryl, I'm so sorry, I never realised what we were doing to you. Your mum and I were mad at you, yes, but that was then, and we never wanted you out of our family, you're our son! We want you here, we want you to go back to school in September, take your exams, and be what you want. Come and have dinner with us, we waited for you..."

I demurred. "I had some fruit earlier today, I'm fine!" but dad wouldn't have it.

"Darryl, you're starving to death, look at you, you have to eat something besides a piece of fruit now and then!"

Mum spoke up again.

"Baby, how much weight have you lost?" and I grinned at her.

"Couple of pounds, nothing I couldn't afford to lose, besides, what's it got to do with you?" 

Mum was shaking her head.

"Baby, you've lost more than that; look in the mirror, that rugby shirt is supposed to be form-fitting; it's hanging on you like a sack!"

I got mad then.

"If you people just came in here to criticise, you can leave, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to eat with you, and I feel just fine! Now could you please just go!"

The truth was, I didn't want to sit around a table with them; I felt fine, but I'd become isolated and insular, and I felt that I now had no connection to these people anymore; I'd done something bad enough to permanently exclude me from their family, and they'd told me to go, so I had no way back in; or so I believed; remember, whatever was going on in my head now, it was mostly irrational, built around an angry outburst from my father, and my reasoning, if you could call it that, made perfect sense to me. Sometimes the mind selects and fixates on the strangest, most trivial reasons for going off the rails, and I'd derailed so completely I wasn't even aware of my own altered perception of reality

Dad wasn't letting go of it. 

"I know Lena misses you desperately, she wants to see you; she'd tell us she saw you at school, but you always gave her the slip, and we never knew where you were. Your little sister spends her evenings crying for you, she's worried sick about you, son. We'd check your room, and you weren't there, your mother and I came to the school time and again, but we never found you, you'd always disappeared; you don't talk to anyone anymore, you don't tell anyone where you are, and your friends say you haven't spoken to them in weeks. Your teachers asked us to help you, they're just as concerned with what you're doing to yourself, they know you need help, let us help you, please!" 

I tried to get across to him what I was feeling. 

"Dad, I don't need any help, I'm fine, and if Lena wanted to see me, she'd be here. I feel fine, there's nothing wrong with me, why can't you understand, I can't be here anymore? I have to leave, I want you to leave, and I definitely don't want to see Lena again, not after last time! "

And then, behind me, came the voice I'd been dreading the most.

"But I want to see you, Darryl, please, please talk to me..."

I turned around slowly, and there was my little sister, crying. Great, I'd made her cry again.

"Go away Lena, I'm not supposed to talk to you! Didn't you hear me? Just leave me alone!" I grated, angry that she was here, and angry with myself for setting all this in motion, because of her.

She came into my room and suddenly hugged me, and gasped. 

"Darryl, why are you so thin, what happened to you? God, there's nothing left of you!"

I tried to push her away, and I couldn't; an 80lb girl and I couldn't move her, I had no strength at all; I might as well have tried to push a bus uphill. 

Then I realised something; the feel of her hugging me was...pleasant, like someone had flicked a switch in my brain. Suddenly I felt...something, a connection to her I thought I'd severed for good.

Automatically, my arms came up and held her, the feel of my sister against me warm, and loving, and concerned; my little sister still needed me, I hadn't lost her yet!

Lena slid her hands over my back, and pulled back to look at me, shock, horror and overwhelming concern in her eyes.




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 01



"Oh God Darryl, what happend to you? Are you sick? You've lost so much weight I can feel every bone in your body! Look at you, you're emaciated! What happened, Dar, why didn't you ask me for help? I would have done anything for you, you should have known that!"

Two big tears rolled down her cheeks, and I cursed myself for hurting this sweet girl again, for trying to kill myself though neglect, because I thought I'd lost her. Right there I realised how much I needed her, and how much she meant to me; she was my little sister,and I loved her, and I would never hurt her again.

It took a while for me to truly believe my family wanted me back, had never in fact stopped wanting me, and I spent all that summer learning how to eat again. Mum had put me on a diet of simple food, steamed fish and mashed potatoes, a little fruit, sugary oatmeal, easily digested food; I was still too far gone for red meat or pork chops just yet. 

I had daily counselling to help me resolve the eating and image issues I'd developed, and Lena was the one who helped me the most when the bouts of depression set in. Even today, after all these years, sometimes when I pass a mirror, I get a resurgence of those feelings, and I have to go and find Lena and she helps me until the depression and the urge to stop eating and punish myself passes.

++++

My counsellors decided I had made enough progress by September that I could go back to school, as I had originally intended. I eventually completed my two years in 6th Form, passing my exams at age 18 with a sufficient number of A-passes to get me accepted at the University of London St George's Medical School to do my MBBS medical training. 

Lena was heartbroken that I would be gone for 5 years, plus another 2 years to do the General Medical Council Foundation so I could get my GMC License to Practice, but she knew it was what I wanted. She was 17 when I left, in another year she'd be at university herself, maybe she'd go into medicine too. 

All Lena was focussing on, though, was the fact that I'd be gone for most of the year, with only the occasional visit home for the next 7 years.

Leaving home to start my training was the most painful thing I've ever done; mum, dad and Lena took me to London, to the student accommodation unit, to get my room ready and have a look around the hospital. Mum was definitely on the teary side, and even dad was a little gruff at times, but Lena made no bones about how she felt, and when it was time for them to leave, her expression was so forlorn I nearly climbed into the car and went back with them. 

I'd never been anywhere without them, and even though I'd spent so long being such an obnoxious little cock when it came to Lena, in the last two years I'd made up a lot of lost time with her, and I missed my little sister desperately; she'd become my confidante, my partner in crime, and my best friend, and I didn't know how I was going to function without seeing her every day. 

The wrench and sense of loss when the car finally turned the corner and disappeared was almost physical in its intensity. I know I was growing up and moving on, and it was supposed to be the start of the next part of my life, but I felt so fucking bad about letting go of this part.

The next five years were hectic, to say the least. I spent as much time at home as I could, but to be honest, it wasn't that much; Lena had gone to university, to Warwick, where she studied Law with a Sociology Honour for 4 years, followed by a post-graduate Diploma in International Economic Law, so I hardly saw her even when I was home, as we were usually out of sync; when I was free, she was knee-deep in lectures 150 miles away, and when she was free, I was on Night-Call or research or something. We only managed to maintain reasonable contact by phone, and that only occasionally. 

At last, I qualified and obtained my GMC license, now all I had to do was find a job where they actually needed a newbie with surgical and clinical skills but no actual real-world experience. However, after seven years of running myself ragged, I decided that a job could wait; I wanted some time with my family. Lena was newly graduated as well, in the same boat as me, and looking for some family time. 

When I eventually arrived home, I was disappointed that she wasn't there, but mum assured me that she would be there that evening, she was just waiting for her landlord to come around and collect her keys, as she was moving back to Bristol to save money. I spent the day on tenterhooks; I'd not seen her in almost 2 years now, and I was anxious to see her again soon; I even poked my head inside her room, just to re-acquaint myself with the place where we'd spent many happy hours talking, swapping confidences, doing homework together or just being companionable.

Eventually, I ended up watching TV in the lounge, where I fell asleep waiting for her, and was awakened by someone dropping heavily into my lap. My eyes flew open, and there was Lena, large as life, and twice as pretty. She giggled, and hugged me, and I hugged her back, bursting with happiness now I had my best friend back.

"Hello, Angel Eyes!" I smiled, and she giggled as she hugged me.

I held her out at arm's length to look at her, re-acquainting myself with her features. Her glossy chestnut hair was longer than ever, nearly all the way down her back now, and her blue eyes were, if anything, an even more intense blue than I remembered, almost violet in their intensity. And she was so beautiful; no, I take that back; my little sister was gorgeous! Her glorious eyes, deep and calm and pellucid, her fair skin lightly dusted with freckles across the bridge of her cute little nose, her lips a deep, coral pink. Naturally fresh-complexioned, and innocent of any make-up or lipstick, she was just absolutely stunning, a true English Rose. 

She giggled and squirmed under my scrutiny, then jumped up and pulled me up to go and have a coffee with her in the kitchen with mum. I couldn't help staring at her as she walked in front of me, her rear view equally captivating in the Royal Blue minidress she was wearing, and I found myself deeply envying the man who eventually captured her.

"So, Darryl, any young doctresses falling under the spell of your manly charms?" she asked, grinning, and I grinned back. 

"Nope, bit of a dry spell, what with being on call 24/7 for weeks on end!" I retorted, "How about you? Any rich, corporate lawyer-types circling you?" 

She dimpled "A couple, I like to keep my options open!"

As we stood and chatted, sipping our coffees, I couldn't help but look her over. She really was the perfect package, her short, figure-hugging dress emphasising her long legs and small waist, and her elegant figure. Her long straight hair set-off her tall slender frame perfectly, and all I could think was how much she reminded me of a singer I'd seen on TV when I was a boy, Crystal Gayle, except Lena was much better looking! Her skin was pale, translucent, like fine eggshell porcelain, no marks or blemishes except that adorable spray of pale freckles across her nose, and her eyes were the deepest blue-violet I had ever seen; my little sister really was a stunner, no two ways about it! Why she wasn't already married, or at least engaged, was a mystery to me. 

Dad came in from work while we were chatting, and we gave him the lowdown on career prospects, preferred jobs, and what we intended to do next. I had applied for Orthopaedic Team internships and locum slots at several London and Home Counties hospitals, as well as signing up to several specialist medical recruiters. Lena was looking for a Civil Service position, hopefully with the Department For International Development (DFID) in Whitehall, in London, as well as various international agencies and public bodies, but it was summer, nothing much was popping in the job world for either of us, so it seemed like a good time to come home and get together for a while.

Dinner was wonderful, although dad seemed to be having some sort of coughing fits, periodically wheezing and coughing discreetly into a wadded handkerchief, and I resolved to pull him aside after dinner and have a listen to his chest. In the meantime, I settled down to enjoy the meal.

Mum had pulled out all the stops, it was the first family meal I'd had in over two years where we were all there, which made it all the better for me. Dad looked older since the last time I'd seen him, and I realised with a shock that he'd be retiring soon; he must be, what, 61? 62? Whatever his age, he'd seemed preoccupied during dinner, like he had something on his mind, and even mum seemed a little distracted, and this continued after the meal, when we were sitting around in the lounge, having a coffee and chatting. Eventually, dad seemed to come to a decision.

"Darryl, I...we need to talk to you, there's something I need you to know, about you...and us." 

The way he said it immediately put me on alert.

"What's up, dad, what about me and you?" I asked.

Dad looked at mum, and she nodded, so he looked back at me.

"Son, it's about your mother...and your father." Now I was confused. I looked at mum, but she was watching dad, and, strangely, Lena.

"But you're my father, surely?" I asked him, still confused, and watched his head shake slowly.

"No Darryl, I'm not. Your father was Robert Fraser. His...partner was Elizabeth, my daughter, your mother. I'm your grandfather, Darryl."

Lena clutched my arm so tightly I thought she'd stop the circulation, but it was barely registering.

I was floundering. 

"And Lena, is she...? and dad shook his head. 

"No, Lena's my daughter; she's Elizabeth's half-sister...and your aunt."

Lena started whimpering, her eyes fixed on my face as they filled up and spilled over. I put my arm around her, trying to get my balance here. Lena wasn't my sister, I wasn't their son, and my whole family life here had been a lie!

"Dad, why are you telling me, now of all times, I'm 25, and now I find out my whole family isn't my family, I don't have a little sister, my mother isn't my mother, it's some woman I never heard of, where is she, where's she been my entire life? Where's this father of mine, this Robert Fraser, why has he never showed up? "

"Daryl..." began mum, and I glanced at her. 

"And you're my grandmother, are you?" and she shook her head.

"No Darryl, Elizabeth is from a relationship your grandfather had when he was in his late teens. Elizabeth's mother had left her with him and disappeared, so he brought her up alone. I married him just after you were born; Elizabeth was nearly 18 then, and your father, Robert, had been killed in the Falklands in 1982, a few months after Elizabeth found out she was pregnant; he was still only a boy himself, only 19. I met your grandfather soon after that, and we decided to get married. Elizabeth couldn't handle bringing up a child alone at such a young age, so we took you to bring you up as our son. Lena came along 10 months later, and we brought you up as brother and sister."

"But you didn't adopt me, yes?" I asked her, and she shook her head.

"And you're not my grandmother?" I asked her, and she shook her head again.

"So you're not my birth-mother, you're not my adoptive mother, you're not my grandmother, so really, you're nothing to me, no relation at all, yes?" and I saw the hurt in her eyes again.

"No, Darryl, I'm still your mum, that hasn't changed..."

I interrupted her. "No you're not. You never made a move to make me yours, you just kept me around, like an umbrella you found on a bus, then suddenly, completely out of the blue, you choose to tell me. Both of you lied to me my whole life, you take away my family, you take away my little sister, you tell me I'm not even who I thought I was, and you expect me to be, what, happy that the truth's finally out? I was happy! I was happy not knowing, did that ever occur to you? How could you rip my family away from me and shred my life, and not expect me to feel anything? Why didn't you just shoot me and stuff me in a fucking dumpster?"

Dad stirred at that, but said nothing, and mum just looked stricken. Lena never took her eyes off me, her whimpering getting louder, until, with a high-pitched keening, she began crying, holding on to my arm in a death-grip, rocking as she sobbed, holding me tight. Mum tried to comfort her, and she shook her off, pushing her away and scrabbling for a handkerchief. I gave her mine, which only seemed to make her cry more.

I stood up, absolutely sure of only one thing; I had to get out of there, away from this nightmare, from these people who'd lied to me every single day of my life.

As I went to get my jacket and holdall, mum came out and put her hand on my arm.

"Daryl, don't go, please, we need to talk!"

I grimaced, trying not to cry. "We're done talking, mum, or should I call you 'Gran'?" and she flinched.

"Please Darryl, come back in, talk to him, he needs to talk to you some more, at least hear him out, won't you?"

I shook my head. 

"There's nothing more to say; you just destroyed my life, you took away my family, you took away Lena, so I think you've said it all! Now I have to go, this conversation is over!"

"Please Darryl, he has his reasons for telling you, won't you at least give him a chance to tell you what they are?"

I took her hand off my arm. 

"I don't care what his reasons are. You people play-acted around me my whole life; you aren't my mother, he's not my father, Lena's not my sister, nothing here is mine; it didn't stop you taking it all away, though, did it? You took it all away, and now you want to talk! No, you can't fix this, mum, or Granny, or whoever the hell you are. The only person round here who didn't lie to me is Lena, and you had no problem lying to her too; I loved being her big brother, she was my little sister, and you took that away from both of us!" 

"I hate you for what you've done to me, and what you've done to Lena; she didn't deserve this. Our whole life has been some kind of weird theatrical production; no-one in it is who they say they are, not even me; I'm 25 and I don't even know who the fuck I am. That's what you did to me, so are you satisfied now?"

I picked up my holdall and took out my keys, taking the front door key off my key-ring and tossing it to her.

"I won't need this anymore, because I swear to God I will never set foot in this house again!" I told her, her expression stricken as I turned to leave. 

Lena came hurtling out to hug onto me, holding me desperately, then grabbing her coat and bag as well.

"I'm coming with you; I'm not staying here another second!" she gritted.

"Lena, what are you doing?" asked mum, and Lena whirled to face her. 

"He may not be your son, but he IS my brother, and I'm going with him. Can't you even see what you've done? How dare the two of you pull his whole world apart! You took away his whole identity, and then you try and act like it was necessary. Did you ever stop to think that this is exactly what might happen? He was right; he was happier not knowing. If you ever really thought of him as your son, you'd never have done this! He's right to hate you; I hate you for what you did! You didn't have to tell us, can't you see it was cruel and unnecessary?"

I opened the door and she walked through it, dumping her bag into the car boot along with mine, and climbed into the passenger seat. I pulled away from the kerb, and got as far as the end of the road before I had to stop, the tears were making my vision blurred. Lena held me while I cried for the past that was gone, and the family I'd lost, and the life that had all been a lie. 

My mum was gone, my dad was gone, even my little sister was gone, taken away in a couple of sentences; but then, none of them had ever really existed, none of it had been true, nothing.

Eventually I calmed down enough to drive safely, and headed out of town, down through Clifton and through the centre of Bristol, heading for the M4 and London. All the way home, it drummed in my head. Mum and dad had been lying to me all my life, they'd been lying to Lena all her life, just told us a convenient lie and left it at that. They'd said no more about my real mother, who'd certainly never made an appearance in my entire life; was she dead, or had she never wanted me in the first place, and dumped me with...them because they were convenient and I was cramping her style? 

My phone rang endlessly, one or other of...them (I couldn't bring myself to call them mum and dad anymore; they weren't, were they?) hanging on the line, hoping for me to pick up. I let it ring, until they switched to Lena's phone. She just switched hers off and dumped it in the glove compartment along with mine.

We eventually got back to my place in Tooting Broadway, just around the corner from St George's, about midnight, only stopping once at the Chieveley Services on the M4 for Lena to stretch her legs a little. I live in a 2 bedroom maisonette, the top floor of a medium-sized Edwardian house, what they used to call a gentleman's residence back in the days of 'la belle époque', but the second bedroom was set-up as an office/storage/work-out space for me, so I gave Lena my room and made up a bed for myself on the couch in the living room. 

We changed out of our day clothes into something more suitable for sleeping; Lena into a long Tee-shirt, and me in a University College London rowing shirt and shorts, and made some coffee while we discussed what to do next.

"We can't go back, can we?" said Lena morosely, and I nodded agreement, although I'd been thinking about why she'd come with me in the first place.

"You didn't have to come, Sis, they're still your parents," I observed, and she grimaced back at me, eyes filling again.

"Fuck 'em! They should have been yours as well; they should have just kept quiet and just been your mum and dad and taken it to their graves, full stop, The End. You're my brother, no matter what they said, and I'll take my chances with you, thank you very much! Like I said, fuck 'em!"

I had to grin; Lena never swears, she always said swearing is the last resort of the verbally constipated, and now here she was, cursing her own parents!

As if on cue, my 'phone started ringing again; one glance told me it was...them, again, as if they hadn't got the message by now. Lena grinned nastily.

"Turn it off, let them sweat. Mine's off, and it's staying off. Tomorrow I'm getting a new number, let them try and get hold of me. You destroy your family, this is the price you pay. Bastards!" 

I looked closely at her. She really was furious, I'd never seen her so angry before and it was a revelation; Lena was the calm one in the family, totally unflappable, with the kind of nerveless self-control that would let her face a charging rhino with a slightly raised eyebrow, and here she was, simmering and steaming, her legendary self-control finally cracked wide open. 

"Hungry?" I asked her, and she shook her head.

"I'm going to bed, Darryl. You know, you don't have to give me your bed, I'm quite happy to bunk out here, or we can share the bed, it's got to be more comfy that that horrible couch!"

She was making sense. I was emotionally and physically drained, and that bed was looking attractive. Still...

Lena cocked an eyebrow at me and grinned. "If you're worried about climbing into bed with me, I assure you, you're safe; I find you completely resistible!"

I had to grin, and nodded assent, if the day ever came when I couldn't split a bed with my little sister, it would be a bad day indeed.

We climbed in and killed the lights, and lay there, slowly drifting away; at least I was, until I became aware of Lena trembling and quivering. I turned and put the bedside light back on, and she was crying, sobbing silently. I didn't ask stupid, inane questions; I knew why she was crying, I was only a sob and a sniffle from joining her, so I put my arm around her, and pulled her close, letting her sob into my chest while I stroked her hair, but not saying anything; what was there to say?




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 01



Eventually her sobbing slowed, then stopped, and her breathing evened out and slowed, deepening as she fell asleep still clutching on to me. I lay awake for a long time, my emotions still roiling as I contemplated a life without parents, trying not to remember the life I had when I still had a family, trying not to feel sorry for myself, and not succeeding very well.

I woke early, my med student time-sense flipping me from sleep to full wakefulness with no intermediate state. I was confused for a moment; wasn't I supposed to be at home? Then memory flooded back; there was no home; this was home now. Then came the realisation and recollection that Lena was here with me, and why, with her leg thrown over mine, and her arm flung across my chest.

I eased her arm back and her leg off me so I could slip out of bed and take a pee, then debated getting back into bed or getting dressed. I didn't really want to get back into bed with my kid sister; it felt weird and pervy, so I quietly got a change of clothes and went to have a quick shower before getting some breakfast. When I came back, to wake Lena and ask her what she wanted to do about breakfast, she'd rolled onto her stomach, with her shirt pulled up around her waist, and I could see she was wearing a pink thong. I'd never thought of my sister in a remotely sexual way before, she was just Lena, and now, here was her very shapely rump practically naked to my view, just the string of the thong disappearing into the cleft between her softly rounded buttocks to say she wasn't completely naked under her sleeping Tee.

Admittedly, in my time on the wards at St. George's I'd seen more bare backsides than a man should see in a long lifetime, but there was something so sweetly innocent, and yet so furiously sexy about Lena's practically bare, perfectly formed bottom thrust out at me in that way; innocent yet desirable. I shook myself. 

'Get a grip, she's your sister!' I told myself severely, and reached over to pull the sheet up over her, hiding that lovely bum from my view.

I had nothing to eat here; I'd expected to be away for a couple of weeks, or maybe longer, so I'd run the fridge dry, emptied the freezer, and switched them both off. Luckily, there was a golden arches at Amen Corner, just round the corner from the flat, so I went there and bought two sausage muffins and two orange juices for breakfast. 

When I came back in, I heard Lena call my name, so I pushed the bedroom door open, and froze. Lena was on her back, her eyes closed and her t-shirt pushed right up under her chin, one hand squeezing and tugging her nipples and the other hand was down inside the front of her thong, working furiously as she rubbed herself. I was transfixed; she had lovely firm breasts, probably 34C or better, a nice handful in any case, topped with long pink nipples, stiff and delicious-looking, surmounting small rose-pink areolas.

"Yes, Darryl, ooh God, yes, like that!" she moaned, and I broke out of my frozen trance to hurriedly back out before she saw me. I walked back to the sitting room in a daze, with just one thought clanging around in my head; Lena was masturbating over me, oh my God! Now what did I do? I'd seen her, heard her, how was I supposed to act around her now? Christ, did she see me? Fuck, this could get awkward really quickly. 

To say I was super-weirded out would be an understatement; and yet, the image of her slender figure, her erect nipples, and her hand working away between her thighs remained with me. Every detail of her beautiful face flushed with arousal, her smooth rounded thighs flexing and corded as she thrust her mons against her hand, and her gorgeous pink nipples, stiff and up thrust as she pulled and squeezed them was imprinted on my mind. I could feel myself getting hard as that scene replayed yet again in my mind's eye. 

Shaking myself to try and clear the images from my head, I pondered what to do next. I knew I wouldn't confront her, even if I wanted to; a person's fantasies are their own personal property, and if she wanted to rub-off over me, it didn't really affect me; (or at least it hadn't until I'd walked in on her and discovered her doing it). In the meantime breakfast was getting cold, and I had no burning desire to have anything like that kind of conversation with my kid sister (even if she wasn't, a sharp jab of melancholy reminded me...).

Just then, a loud sobbing moan from the bedroom reminded me what Lena was doing in there, and she was probably finished now, so time to arrive...

Getting up, I silently opened and then slammed the front door, to alert her to the fact I was back, and called out to her.

"Lena, fast-food breakfast, come and get it while it's edible!" I shouted, hoping no trace of what I'd seen was in my voice or tone to alert her I was uncomfortable or embarrassed about something.

She appeared at the doorway, smiling, still in her long t-shirt, to sit cross-legged on the couch and dig into her sausage muffin and juice.

"So Darryl, what's the plan for today?" she inquired, and I looked blankly at her; I hadn't thought about it, as I'd planned on a fairly stress-free few weeks with mum and da...them, so my calendar was empty. I plopped down on the other end of the couch and looked at her.

"Lena, I don't know what to do next. I've got quite a bit of cash stored up, so that should tide me...us over for a good while yet, but I wasn't planning on being disinherited so completely, so I don't know. Baby steps, I suppose. Do some shopping. Look for jobs. Work out who I am and where I'm supposed to go now."

Lena slid up next to me, and wrapped her arm around my waist as she laid her head on my shoulder.

"Darryl, you don't need to work out who you are; you're Doctor Daryl Morgan, graduate of the University of London, St. George's Medical School, surgeon par excellence, that hasn't changed, and you're my big brother, and that hasn't changed either. The only identity crisis we need to worry about is the one going on back in Bristol with those two idiots who seem to think they're not your parents!"

I had to grin at that. Talking to Lena was always a lift for my spirits, her irreverence, wit, observational skills and ability to judge character were a delight to listen to when she was in full flow.

She leaned up and pecked me on the cheek.

"Right now we have more immediate matters to attend to; you have no food or supplies, so we need to go shopping soon; a muffin for breakfast may seem like the ideal way to start the day, but that's just advertising propaganda; we need to get some real food, something to stick to the ribs, as well as toiletries, all the things they tell us we can't live without! Thank you for letting me stay with you, I'll go as soon as I can find a place of my own, I promise."

I grinned at her. "Don't be daft, Lena, I'd love you to stay as long as you want; a day, a week, a month, a year, forever, I don't care; you're my little sister and it's still my job to look after you!"

She dimpled at that.

"And that's why I love you so much, Darryl Morgan! Just wait 'til I get dressed, and I'll make you a lunch you'd write home about."

She dressed in an outfit guaranteed to stop traffic, a tiny black skirt of some stretchy material that just covered the cheeks of her bum, a low-cut, figure-hugging black top that outlined every curve and jiggle, and teetering heels that made her legs go on forever. If she hadn't been my sister/aunt/whatever, I'd have a made a grab at her, and she seemed to know that was the effect she was having on me. Had she dressed like this just to tempt me and reel me in? An intriguing, uncomfortable, arousing thought.

We shopped at the local Sainsbury's in Balham. I told Lena to have a ball, my treat, buy anything she wanted, and she took me at my word, loading the shopping trolley with any and everything that took her fancy. As we strolled around the supermarket, I pushed the shopping trolley, and she linked arms with me, walking close enough to bump hips with me, and occasionally flashing me that 1,000 kilowatt smile of hers.

She got a lot of looks, I have to admit, and I did feel more than a little ego-boosted to have such a beautiful girl hanging on my arm as though we were actually a real couple.

When we got back to the flat, I stashed the groceries while Lena started cooking, and in an hour we were sitting down to her speciality, a fabulous Cottage Pie with green beans and cabbage, good, old-fashioned comfort food. She'd changed into a t-shirt and a pair of track-suit bottoms to cook, and I couldn't help noticing how they clung to her svelte legs and firm bum. 

I didn't have a dining room, only a small dinette table I sometimes used for studying, so we ate in front of the TV, one at each end of that atrocious couch so we could talk as we ate. Our conversation was mostly about her parents. I still couldn't bring myself to resume calling them 'mum & dad'; well, they weren't, were they?

Lena tapped her fork thoughtfully against her bottom lip.

"You know, Darryl, much as I thought about it, and tried to put myself in their place, and tried to see it from their point of view, I couldn't; they had no right to just cast you adrift like that. They should have told you when you were a small boy, or never. You had a right to know, and they had a duty to either tell you from the outset, or kept their mouths shut forever after, amen!"

I was kind of in agreement with her, but they were still her parents, and dumping them like that seemed a little drastic. I said as much to her, and she looked at me with that diamond-hard stare she'd given her mother last night as she walked out of her house.

"I said it once before, Darryl, do pay attention! They tried to take my big brother away from me; hell, they DID take him away; in their eyes he never existed, they just kept you because they didn't know what else to do. They made my brother into a phantom with a couple of sentences, and they wonder why you reacted the way you did. Well, you may not be their son, but you are my brother, and you're all the family I want or need around me, end of story!" 

She put her plate down on the coffee table and slid next to me, slipping her arm around my waist as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"I want you to know one thing, sweetie; I will never, ever, desert you or hurt you like that, I swear. After last night, I know you need me, and God knows, I need you too, but I need you to know and believe that you still have family who love you, you have me. We're family, the only family we have left, and we need to stick together. I'll always be here for you, just like you were always there for me when I was growing up. OK?"

With that, she leant up and kissed me, a small, firm kiss on the corner of my mouth, gentle, loving and genuine, a sisterly kiss, but it burned as it chimed and resonated through me.

We avoided the subject for the rest of the day, talking instead about what we were going to do next, our ideal jobs and how to find them, and mutual friends from back home. I'd almost forgotten how much I needed Lena; almost losing her nine years before had scared me in a way I'd never thought possible, and she'd become very precious to me, both as my sister and as my very best friend. 

It was Lena who taught me to dance, who vetted my girlfriends (not that there were that many; it was Lena I used as a yardstick for comparison, and not many at all came even close to measuring up to her), and who commiserated with me when one of my fleeting relationships went south, as they all inevitably did; I guess, when I look back now, subconsciously I was looking for the one girl who was everything Lena was without actually being Lena. I never found her. 

Eventually, we ended-up side-by-side on that hideous couch, Lena with her legs curled under her and my arm around her, watching some soppy late-night movie. 

Chick-flick movies were Lena's one weakness, and I sat with her, mainly to hand her tissues as she sniffled, sobbed, and gasped along with the mush-headed heroine, who seemed to me to be going out of her way to fuck-up her relationship with her equally mush-headed love-interest. I decided early-on he should have been out instead looking for a slutty chick with fewer commitment issues, instead of hoping for some from this dimwit, so I shut off completely. 

At last, the interminable epic was over, I was almost terminally bored, and there was a pile of crumpled tissues on the couch next to Lena, so a successful evening from her point of view. As the end credits rolled, Lena made no effort to move, and I thought that (God help me...please) there was yet another one of these horror stories coming on, but no...

Lena reached up and pulled my head down, kissed me on the cheek and whispered;

"Thank you for sitting-up with me, Dar, I know you hate these films. You can let go of my arse now...!"

I looked at her in mild incomprehension, then my eyes widened in shock as I realised I was holding her buttock firmly, not even realising I was doing it in my stunned state from watching that God-awful film...

I let her go like I'd been scalded, stuttering out apologies as my face burned, but she pecked me on the cheek again.

"It's alright, Dar, I know you weren't trying anything on with me, I could see how out of it you were. Besides," she grinned cheekily, "it was quite nice, if you know what I mean!" 

She scootched up even closer to me, took my hand and put it back on her bum.

"There, that feels better, I like it there, Dar, keep it there for a while, please!" she smiled, so I did, much as I wanted to snatch it away; I had no business holding my sister, aunt, whatever, so intimately, but she obviously felt differently. I tried slowly sliding it off her smooth flank, but she just clicked her tongue and put it right back, growling;

"I said liked it; now stop moving it away, Dar!"

We sat for a while, Lena obviously enjoying the feel of my hand on her taut buttock, and to be honest, so was I; I was at war with myself; part of me was repulsed at the thought I was effectively groping my kid sister's backside, but another, darker, hornier part of me was thoroughly enjoying the smooth supple feel of her delightful rump under my hand. I began to make involuntary squeezing, massaging movements with my hand, and Lena sighed and moved even tighter against me, putting her arm around my waist and pressing her face into the crook of my neck. 

When I realised what I was doing I stopped, Lena making a small discontented sound into my neck, but I really thought enough was enough; after what I'd seen that morning, this was perhaps a step too far. Instead I gently patted her bottom, a chaste, brotherly 'tap, tap'. 

"Come on you, it's late, don't you want to go to bed?" I said, realising how it sounded as the words left my mouth, but Lena didn't bite, she just uncurled and slid upright, pulling me up with her.

"Come on then Darryl, you made me get up, so you have to get up too!"

I grinned and indicated the bathroom to her, she smiled prettily and slipped into the bedroom to change into her night wear while I checked the doors and windows and pulled down the window-shades. Just then, Lena came out of the bedroom, her toiletries and a bath towel over her arm.

"I'm having a nice long shower, if I come back and find you snoring and sprawled across the bed, I'll kick you, got it?" she grinned at me, one eyebrow raised, and I had to grin as I nodded in agreement. 

I changed and slid into bed, still slightly weirded-out by sharing a bed with my sister, but made sure I only took up the minimum space on the not overly large double-bed. I was just beginning to drop off when I heard Lena's hairdryer humming in the sitting room. The rhythmic sound lulled me, and I fell fast asleep.

I woke with the scent of strawberries in my nostrils, Lena's shampoo, but that wasn't what woke me; years of sleeping with one ear open listening for my pager to go off had honed my hearing to a fine-tuned detection device, and what had awakened me had been a gasp from Lena, intruding into my confused dream of soft skin and damp heat, and pulling me back into wakefulness. 

At the same time a feeling of moist warmth was enveloping the tip of my penis, which was at an aching pitch of throbbing hardness, solidly, painfully erect. A warm hand was wrapped around me, holding me as the sensation of hot moistness ebbed and flowed. Lena was holding me, and as I looked down at her, she looked back up at me, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she grinned at me.

"The sleeper awakens!" she whispered, as I struggled between the echoes of my dream, and the reality of now, which was that Lena was lying up against me, naked, her lovely, hard-nippled breasts pressed against me as she rubbed my cock against her moist hairless slit. My shorts were half way down my thighs, so presumably she'd slid them down when she pulled out my cock.

I lay there for a moment, enjoying the feel of her dampness against my sensitive head, the heat from her slit enticing and sexy, before I realised what we were doing and began to pull away from her.

"Uh-uh, Doctor-Boy, not finished yet!" gasped Lena, rubbing the head of my cock against her clitoris, the hard nub obvious against the tender flesh of my cock head. She began to gasp harder, her movements faster and more definite as she stroked her slit against my hardness, the lips dragging wetly along my length. Her hips pumped as she masturbated fiercely against me, until suddenly she went rigid, her eyes rolling back as a spurt of warmth coated my cock and balls. Lena shuddered and mewled as her orgasm pulsed through her, her shudders gradually dying away as she came down, to collapse into me. 

I held her close, feeling her heart hammering even as I wondered how the hell I was going to get out of this without really offending her; however, the one question I wanted to avoid at all costs was the only one I could think of asking; 'what made you decide to have a wank against me, Lena, now of all times?'

Eventually she slid her arms around my neck and looked up at me, no trace of guilt or embarrassment, just a happy grin as she pulled herself up and kissed me on the tip of my nose.

"That was nice, Darryl, I should have done that years ago!" she giggled, and then laughed at my expression.

"Oh Darryl, you should see your face; you look like someone just shoved an extra-large cucumber right up your arse!"

I looked at her, painfully aware that my erection was undimmed by her finishing herself off on it; if anything, it was even more engorged, and her pebble-hard nipples poking solidly into me were not helping matters any.

She reached down and started to slide my shorts off, and I resisted, until I realised that there was no point; I had a tremendous boner prodding her in the stomach, so modesty wasn't my most pressing concern right now. 

I tipped her head back to look into her eyes.

"Why, Lena, why now?

She grinned cheekily. 

"If I'd asked, would you have said yes?"

I looked away. 

"Probably not."

She pulled my head back around to look at her.

"That's why Darryl. I've wanted to do that, and more, for the longest time now, but you were gone for so long, and then all that business at home happened, and I had to choose between the olds and you; I chose you."

I snorted.

"Lena, you left your parents because you wanted to rub-off against me? That's just not rational, and I thought you were nothing but!"

She kissed me on the base of my throat.

"No Darryl, I didn't choose you because I wanted a cheap thrill; I came with you because I've been in love with you since I was five years old; couldn't you tell? All I ever wanted was to be near you, all I ever did was to please you! When we had that...that thing, when I was 15, and I thought I'd lost you, I was really afraid you were going to leave, sick as you were, just sneak away one day and never come back. I was terrified they'd find you dead in some squalid room somewhere, starved to death or with a needle in your arm, or something like that. I was so frightened I cried for days. I used to get up at night, every night, and check your room, just to make sure you were still there, that I hadn't lost you, but you never knew, because I wanted you to be happy to be home with me again, with me, do you understand? I love you Darryl Morgan, and you're not going anywhere without me!"




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 02



Many thanks to Firefly, and to Mriceman1964 for their help, criticism, sense of reality, and honesty in getting this far, sorry for the delay, real life has a habit of intruding! It helps if you read part 1 before this, to give you the full back story to what's going on here.

As always, I welcome criticism that makes sense, is relevant, and is not self-evidently barking mad! If you like this segment, please vote for it, if you didn't please tell me why, and all gratuitously nasty, plain weird or downright scary comments will get deleted, so if you want to be nasty of rude, be my guest, I enjoy the funny ones as much as the next person! 

_________________________________ 

I staggered out of bed, still half-asleep, to answer the knock at my door. I wasn't expecting anyone, but I thought it might be a friend from St George's, just around the corner. I managed to slip on a pair of shorts in my partially asleep state and weave my way over to the front door. I pulled it open fully expecting to see one of my friends, and winding-up to give them a mouthful, but there outside the door, looking apprehensive and somehow smaller than I remembered, almost huddled, was mum.

I came awake immediately.

"What are you doing here...mum?" I asked flatly, trying not to respond to the instinctual rush of remembered feeling as I saw her, wanting and needing her, but the need overshadowed by the memory of how she and dad had excised me from their family with just a few words; I didn't hate her, but I was still hurting, and I didn't want to let that go, not yet.

She started when I said that, and her eyes filled, and I immediately dropped my eyes; I didn't want her to see my need for her in my eyes, all I wanted was for her to feel as lost as I did, just share what it felt like for a few seconds, but I couldn't... 

I stepped aside.

"You'd better come in. Lena's asleep; I'll get her if you want...?"

She sat down and looked at me as I sat opposite her, her lip quivering.

"Darryl, please come home, both of you. Your father misses you dreadfully, he has so much to say, to tell you..." 

I cut her short.

"But he's not my father, is he? And you're not my mother, and apparently that's not my home. I am home, here, mum, this is the reality for me now!"

Now she was crying, and I had to put an end to this; I didn't want to make her cry, just make her understand how far she'd cast me adrift; it didn't work though, all I could see was my mum crying, and it wrenched at my heart. I thought we'd said all there was to say, and I was still too angry and hurt to let the feeling of being in free-fall go just yet, much as I hated it; she'd done that to me, she was nothing to me, she wasn't even a part of my family, no relation at all, I told myself, not believing a word of it. I tried to believe that letting her in had been a mistake, yet why did I feel so glad to see her, and so bad about trying to let her go?

"You shouldn't have come here, I can't have you here. All you're doing is reminding me that everything I thought was mine is gone; can't you see that? Please go, just leave me alone. That's what I am now, and all you're doing is reminding me of that. I'll wake Lena now, and you can ask her to go back with you; I'm not keeping her here against her will, but I won't ask her to go, either."

With that I got up and walked into the bedroom, intending to waken Lena and tell her that her mother was here. She was already awake, sitting up in bed with the covers pulled up around her, her eyes big and concerned.

"Darryl, I heard what you said; I will never leave you alone, ever; you need to know that!" 

I smiled and sat down to hug her, then hauled her bag up on the bed and rummaged through her stuff until I found a long T-shirt like the one she'd slept in that first night.

"Here, put this on, princess, and come out and talk to her, she's come a long way to see you!"

Lena took the shirt from me and hugged me, before tugging it over her head and pulling it down.

"There, that's as dressed as I'm getting; she can see me like this!" she grinned, pulling me close for a quick, heartfelt kiss before sliding off the bed.

I grinned back at her expression and took her hand to lead her out into the living room.

Mum went to hug Lena when she came out behind me, but Lena pulled back and away from her, instead pulling herself close to me with her arm around my waist. Mum looked hurt at that, but Lena had that expression on her face, the 'stay away' look she had when she was angry, one that mum knew only too well.

"Lena, your father and I, we...we miss you both, we waited so long for you to come home, both of you! Please, why don't you and Darryl come home, now, with me?"

Lena looked scornfully at her.

"Why would we do that? So you can tell Darryl all over again how his mother abandoned him, how you didn't want him enough to make him yours, that he was just 'Left-Luggage'?" 

She was still really angry, so I wisely decided to say nothing.

"You should go now, mum; Darryl needs his family, and right now, that's me. You and dad never wanted him; if you had, you'd have adopted him when he was a child, or let him know who he really was, or just kept quiet forever and let him be your son. You could have told him the truth long ago, when he was still just a little boy, let him know who he really was, who you really were, but you didn't, you kept him around, you let him believe he was your son, and then you took it all away just like that!" She punctuated her sentence with a snap of her fingers. 

"He thought you were his parents and he loved you with all his heart; why didn't you have at least that much for him? Go away, mum, I need my brother, and he needs me, and neither of us needs you!"

She slid her arms even tighter around me, and her head rested in the hollow of my neck. Mum could see that she was wearing only that thin cotton tee shirt, and I could see the suspicion forming in her eyes.

She cast around, her eyes lighting on the open door to the second bedroom, where she could see a jumble of exercise equipment and a desk and large bureau, but no bed. There was no sign that the couch had been used to sleep on, only the rumpled bed visible through the part-open door to the bedroom.

Her eyes narrowed.

"Lena, where did you sleep last night? And the night before?" she asked, her voice sharp with suspicion.

Lena looked at her, smiled sweetly, and answered "None of your damned business! What are you implying...mother?" 

That tone was back in her voice; she was angry again, the sweet smile on her face falling away as the anger blazed through.

Mum recoiled from that, her eyes suddenly almost afraid.

"Please Lena, please don't tell me you...and Darryl...no, you didn't..!"

Lena smiled acidly at her.

"And if I did? For the record, I'm not admitting anything, but so what if I did? What's it to you? After all, I'm over 18, and it's not like he's my brother, you told me he's not my brother, in fact you made it quite clear he's not my brother at all...!"

Mum looked shocked, and a little sick.

"Don't say that! He is your brother...Oh Lena, what have you done, both of you? Darryl's your brother...!" she whispered, her voice shocked and horrified.

Lena smiled maliciously at her. 

"Darryl, go make some coffee, there's a darling. Mum, sit down, you've got some listening to do, so pin back your ears. Darryl, go!" 

I wanted to hear this, if only to hear Lena in full flow, she did it so well...

I wasn't interested in seeing mum squirm; to tell the truth, now that the shock and loss had eased a little, I missed her, desperately, and seeing her this morning had stirred up all the feelings I'd had for her before this...thing had dropped on me. But my mum was gone, and this person was left behind; she still looked just like my mum, though; the only thing that had changed was that now I knew she was nothing to me, but that didn't stop me desperately wanting her back, for none of this to have happened, for my mum and dad to be my mum and dad again, for this nightmare to be erased, to have never happened...

But I knew well that tone in Lena's voice, so I went. While I pottered around in the tiny kitchen, trying to find reasons to stay in there and not face mum or hear what Lena had to say, I nevertheless strained to listen to every word; it was the classic 'attraction/repulsion' thing I'd studied during long boring nights on-call.

"Sit, mum!" I heard her say, the anger even more evident in her voice now I couldn't see her face.

"You are going to tell me one thing, that's all. Why? Why did you have to destroy Darryl's life so completely? Why can't you understand what you've done? Why did you have to tell him I wasn't his sister, that I'm some kind of aunt? I loved being his little sister, he was my big brother and I was his best friend. Now I'm not his sister any more, how is he supposed to think of me; as his 'auntie'? What did we ever do to you that you had to do this to us? I know how easy it is to hurt him, I've always known, that's why I never did, and I never will; all he ever had was you and dad and me, and you took that away from him without hesitation; his family was the most important thing in his life, didn't you know that? Now you've gone and broken it up, and I don't know how to put it right, so I've had to put him back together a different way!" 

"I suppose I should thank you, but it was only possible because you broke his heart, and all that loss and pain is still in there, all jumbled about! Do you remember when he was a boy, and he thought he'd lost us? He nearly died, he tried to kill himself because he thought he'd lost everything, and now he really has! I'm here so I can keep him safe, but why are you here? Why did you need to hurt him so? Answer me, mum!" 

I could hear the tears in Lena's voice, but I could also hear mum crying softly, and a huge part of me wanted to rush out there and just hold her, to beg her pardon on bended knee for being such a petulant prick, but I had to know what was so all-fired important that they had to drive a wrecking ball right through Lena's life, and mine.

Eventually mum stopped crying.

"Lena, we told Darryl because he needs to know; your dad and I are planning on going away soon, and we're not coming back. Dad is not well, he's not well at all, and his doctors want him to leave England, the cold and damp are just making him worse..."

A cold hand stroked my spine, and I forgot all about my anger and loss and hurt feelings as I rushed back into the room, my need to know greater than all that now.

"Mum, what's wrong with dad, why do you have to go away? Please, tell me, mum, what's wrong with him!" I whispered, a chill rush of fear making my spine tingle and cold sweat collect in the small of my back and between my shoulder blades. The thought 'cancer' was rushing around in my head, but I was afraid to hear the words from her, afraid to turn and look the Gorgon in the face.

Mum looked ready to cry again. 

"Your father has a condition something like pneumoconiosis, it's been caused by years of inhaling metallic dust. It was that job of his, all the time it was doing this to him. His lungs are badly damaged, so is his heart, and his doctors are afraid it will develop into acute COPD if he remains in a cold, damp climate. They think somewhere hot and dry might help hold it off a little longer. We've decided to move to Cyprus; your father has old friends there, and he was stationed there in the 1960's, so he knows the place. The hot, dry climate may be what he needs."

"We told you because we didn't want this to remain hidden any longer. Your dad wanted to make everything right before we left, he didn't want to leave you with any loose ends and he didn't want to take any secrets with him or leave anything unfinished. Can you understand that, both of you? Please try and forgive him, forgive both of us, he just wanted you to know the truth while there was still someone to tell it to you."

Lena was looking shocked and confused, emotions warring on her face, until her lip quivered, and two big tears ran down her cheeks. Suddenly she was that little girl who'd tagged along to school with me every day, the annoying little sister I loved so much and had nearly lost.

"He...he's sick? How long have you known, mum? When were you going to tell me? Mum...mummy, is daddy dying? oh God, no, please...!" she whispered, her face crumpling as she cried.

The strength drained away from my legs and I sat down heavily as Lena's grief and fear communicated itself to me; dad, my dad, was seriously ill, there was no cure for what he had, and it was going to kill him; not now, not tomorrow, but soon, far too soon, and I'd wasted precious time being a prick, being angry with him. I knew exactly what pneumoconiosis was, and all its variants, what an insidious slow killer it was, and what was in store for my dad. Going to Cyprus was a desperation move dreamed up by his doctor; there was nothing that could help him now...

I felt stupid and disloyal, a complete bastard, venting anger and childish spite on a sick man. I suddenly realised just how petty and thoughtless I'd been; he and mum had spent my whole life being my parents; they'd never made any difference between Lena and me, and the fact they'd never adopted me was inconsequential, a mere detail. My dad was dying, and I was here, 150 miles away, sulking like a spoiled child after a stupid, thoughtless outburst. 

My heart lurched and turned over in my chest as I remembered all the times he'd been there for me, and those times I'd not listened to him, or silently cursed him, or ignored him, or just plain disobeyed him, and a part of me yearned desperately for the chance to go back and undo each and every one of them. If God, the universe, whatever would just let me do that, perhaps this present wouldn't have happened, and he'd still be hale and healthy. Foolish, I know, but right then I'd have given my soul and every breath in my body for the chance to have him back as he should be, growing old peacefully, here, with us around him, not choking his life out in a foreign country.

I managed to find my way to mum, to kneel by her side and take her hand. She hugged me close and held me as she cried, and what was left of my self-control evaporated as I realised she was as frightened as I was. The tears spilled out of me as I cried for my dad, for the hole in my life that should have been filled by him for years to come. Lena took my hand, and slid down next to me, her head in my neck as she hugged me, silent sobs wracking her body.

Eventually the tears stopped, as they must, and mum, Lena and I sat motionless, each of us busy with our own thoughts and memories. A thought occurred to me.

"Mum, if you're here, who's with dad?"

Lena's head snapped up at that, as the same thought echoed in her.

Mum smiled gently, her bottom lip still quivering slightly.

"Your Auntie Min's with him, she'll keep him entertained and occupied until I get home. Will you come back home, kids? Please?"

For answer, I went into the bedroom and started stuffing clean clothes into a holdall, signalling Lena to do the same. While I was packing I asked her how she'd come down from Bristol, as I couldn't see her car, and she told me she'd been brought down by Aunt Min's son, who'd taken his mother up to Bristol to see dad. 

Once I'd finished packing, Lena began rummaging around for her clothes and knick-knacks, mum watching her and noting that we were both using the same bedroom, same closets, and the same bed. Lena and I finished by making the bed and switching off the fridge, putting all the perishables in a carrier bag to take with us rather than throw them away. Mum forbore to comment on any of this, her suspicions obviously confirmed, but also recognising that there were other, more important things to deal with right now.

The drive back was subdued. We drove non-stop, mum at the wheel of my Golf while Lena and I held hands in the back seat, too numb to talk and only dimly aware of the other's presence as the fear galloped around inside us, getting bigger with every mile closer to home.

When we arrived back at the house, Aunt Min let us in, holding her finger to her lips to tell us to be quiet. She looked drawn and pale, and also looked smaller, as though what was unfolding here was somehow diminishing her. Min was Dad's older sister, larger than life and usually the life of the party, always the first to arrive and the last to leave, loud, brash, and fun, her chubby fingers banging away at the piano, her arms festooned with expensive gold bangles and cheap clanking costume jewellery, swilling down gin & orange and Port & Lemon by the bucketful. She was always good for some extra cash at Christmas, as Lena and I well knew, as well as a peppermint, a cough-sweet or a large toffee when mum wasn't looking. She was extrovert and jolly, trailing Chanel No.5 and peppermint behind her wherever she went; now, to see her subdued like this made my heart leap into my mouth; had something happened while mum was away? A movement caught my eye, and there in the doorway to the dining room was Aunt Doreen, dad's oldest sister. 

She was a spinster who lived a few miles away and she was the complete opposite of Min; slender, quiet, reserved, plainly dressed, with no jewellery or make-up. She was a calm, elegant, empathic, quietly witty lady, a retired Headmistress, but in her own way as fun and comforting to have around as Min; when I was a boy, she'd always been my refuge when mum wasn't around, and I loved her dearly. Now she came to us as we came in the front door, and took my face in her hands, kissing my forehead briefly before hugging me.

"Darryl, we heard what happened, what was said, and I want you to know, you are loved, we all love you, and we need you to be here, with us. Your dad needs you, go and see him, please."

I broke down then, Doreen holding me close as I turned into a scared five year-old again, only this time I was scared for my dad, for what he was going to tell me, so afraid I was going to hear something that would destroy me completely. My anger at my parents was gone; it was foolish, childish and wrong; now I really had something to worry about, and I was scared I wouldn't be able to handle it. 

Doreen seemed to understand all this, her soft hand on my face as she comforted me the way she had when I was a small child. I looked up and there was Lena holding Min, her face buried in Min's shoulder.

Doreen ruffled my hair, a gesture from my boyhood.

"Come on, Darryl, go and talk to your dad; he knows you're here, he's in the sitting room; go on now!"

I looked fearfully at Lena, and she wiped her eyes and took my hand, letting me lead her to the sitting room door. I knocked, and cracked the door open, and there was dad snoozing in his old recliner chair, looking for all the world as though there was nothing wrong whatsoever.

As we looked in on him, he opened one eye and looked right at us.

"So you came back, then!" he grinned, taking any sting out of it. "Come in, don't stand there hovering, both of you, come on in; I'm not dead yet!"

He looked so normal, for a second a wild hope flared in me; this was just a nightmare, he looked so...dad...how could he be so sick?

Lena gulped, biting back more tears, and pushed past me to cross over to him and hug him tightly. I was just a second behind her, biting my lip desperately so I didn't start bawling like a three year-old.

Dad sat up (with a certain amount of difficulty, I noted) and hugged her properly, holding my arm as he did so. His grip still seemed strong, confident, but his chest...

I could hear the churning, undersea sound as he breathed in and out, my heart sinking as I realised how serious his condition really was; all this time he'd kept it from us, obviously masking his condition with his meds, and now it was only a matter of time, and probably not much of that...




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 02



Lena saw that as well, my expression must have showed what I was thinking, and two big tears rolled down her cheeks. I could feel my eyes brimming as loss and fear fought with guilt over what I'd said in the first heat of anger, something dad also saw. He wiped Lena's tears away, catching the end of her nose as he did, grinning his old grin, and Lena smiling back in spite of herself. Then dad did something he'd not done to me since I was a small boy; he pulled me down close to him, and kissed me once on the cheek, his way of saying it was alright, that we were okay again. 

I didn't want that, it felt like goodbye to me, and I wasn't ready to say goodbye to my dad, not yet, not for a long time to come. But it wasn't going to happen. My dad was going, long before his time, and there was nothing I could do about it; there's that old saw about 'Physician, heal thyself', what I wanted was to heal my dad; but I couldn't.

Dad obviously picked up on the tenor of my thoughts, and grinned at me, his old self suddenly gleaming through.

"Let it go Darryl, there's nothing you can do about it; this started a long time ago, before you were born, I just never knew it. Now it's come to this. You can't do anything for me, so just look after your mum and your sister for me, okay?"

I nodded mutely, unable to say anything, but marvelling at his calm acceptance of his impending mortality; people are intellectually aware of the fact of their own death one day; no-one is going to live forever. But most people are also emotionally incapable of accepting the fact of their own death one day, unable to accept that the world will go on without them. Dad seemed to have a handle on that, and his calm acceptance certainly calmed me down, even though I was still incapable of contemplating a world without him in it.

He grinned up at me again.

"Say something, son, you look like someone just smacked you with a big fish!"

I didn't know where to start.

"Dad, I'm sorry, I acted like a complete dick, I'm so sorry...!"

He held his hand up.

"Calm down Darryl! We dropped a huge cowpat on you; I'm not surprised you flew off the handle! It's okay, you said your piece and charged off, now you're back, it's over. My kids are back, so no harm done! There was a time I thought we'd really lost you, that was the only time I was scared you'd go and I'd never see you again. I hoped you'd be back once you blew-off some steam; you're just like your mother in that respect. I wish I knew where she was. Once she left you, I never saw her again; I don't know what I did to make her leave, there were no words or anything, she just...left, but there's been no word from her in 25 years, now it's probably too late..."

Lena started crying again, and dad reached up and gently rubbed her cheek while looking directly into my eyes.

"I know how Lena feels about you, and I just want to say one thing while I still can; don't you hurt her; she's spent her life wanting you, don't make her regret it."

I gaped at him.

"Dad, you...know?"

He looked away testily. 

"Of course I know, Darryl, you're my kids, I know all about how you feel about each other and what you've probably already done; I have eyes and a brain too, you know!"

He clicked the button on the chair and it folded upright, sitting him up and enabling him to look at both of us.

"Now, where was I? Oh yes, you and Lena. As I was going to say, I knew something like this would happen, it was only a matter of time, I suppose. The two of you were always closer than usual, and after that business when you were younger, it became even more obvious, even without Lena crying for you every night. Your mum and I discussed it a lot; I wanted to split you two up, your mum wanted to leave you to grow up and hope you drifted apart. We were both wrong, and we would have been wrong no matter what we did, so we did nothing and hoped it would go away."

I couldn't contain my curiosity.

"How long have you known?" I asked, and he smiled back.

"I've always known. If you mean 'when did I know for certain'? It was about two minutes ago; you really should learn to keep a cap on it, you know; how do you expect to face a firing squad if you can't keep calm and self-possessed under the slightest pressure?"

I said something about never actually planning on facing a firing-squad, which he brushed-of as 'a mere detail'.

"Darryl, every man should live his life as though the firing squad was around the next corner; don't leave things un-done that should be finished, don't leave things un-said that should be said, don't leave loose ends for others to try and tie up, and leave your mark, but lightly; plan for the future, but live in the now, change the world, if you can, but don't damage it along the way, and leave memories that others will be proud to keep and cherish."

I nodded, finally listening to the words I should have been listening to all my life; I always thought I'd have all the time in the world to listen to this from him, now suddenly that wasn't true.

The door opened, and mum, Doreen and Min came in, mum looking relieved that we were all talking and actually smiling again. Dad asked mum to pass him a large Manila folder from the bureau, and he took out various documents.

"Darryl, Lena, these are the deeds to the house, it's yours, both of you. Mum and I bought a place in Kolossi, in the Akrotiri Sovereign Base Area part of the village, and she won't be returning after...you know, so you can do what you like with this place. It's split 50/50 between you both, so the two of you can decide what you want to do with it. There are various funds and suchlike, mum and I will be needing them, so all we have to leave you is the house, it's up to you what the pair of you do with it; all I'll say is it's a nice family home..."

"Just remember one thing; we'll always be your parents, and we're not abandoning you; your mother and I have to go, but Doreen and Min will still be here, so you'll still have family nearby."

Mum passed the folder to me, but I handed it to Lena, and hugged mum instead.

"Mum, I'm sorry, I was wrong to say what I said, you are my mum, and you always were. If you want to slap my face, go ahead, I deserve it for what I said to you; you will always be my mum, and I love you more than anything in the world!"

Mum hugged me tight, then let go so Min could hug me as well. As she let go of me, she murmured "just one other thing, Darryl..., " and with that gave me a slap that made my head sing. As I reeled back, she stood over me, back to her full size and terrifying with it, looking like a Spanish galleon in full sail as she bore down on me and jabbed me in the chest with her pudgy forefinger.

"If you ever speak like that to anyone in this family ever again, I promise you, Doctor Darryl 'High and Mighty' Morgan, I will pull down your pants and spank your arse in front of everyone, do you hear me?"

I could only nod, completely dumbfounded by this side of Min I'd never seen before. She glared back, her face red, then subsided and yanked me close, hugging me like a friendly grizzly bear. She abruptly held me out at arms' length.

"Always remember, baby, you have parents who love you, you have a family that loves you, and if you ever forget that, I've got a right hand to remind you of it, got it?!"

I could only nod again, still too shocked to speak. Doreen moved up and I leaned back out of range, but she only smiled at me, and kissed me lightly on the cheek.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to slap you, Min drew that straw!" she smiled.

"And she lost?" I hazarded, and Doreen gave a wide grin. 

"No, she won!"

I looked round to see Lena grinning, until at last she could hold it in no longer, and she burst out laughing, breaking the tension in the room, even dad smiling broadly at my complete drubbing. At last I saw the funny side too, and began to laugh, and when mum kissed me it was like coming home for Christmas; I had my parents back, I still had them, I hadn't lost them at all.

Dinner was paradoxically, a joyful occasion; all my family was there at once, it was a reunion in many ways, and nothing was allowed to mar the happiness of the event. Mum and dad played down the reason for us being there, and never once referred to Lena and me except in the positive; that they knew we'd be good for each other, that they knew we'd look after each other, and so forth; even Min and Doreen, curtain-twitchers to the stars and gossip-mongers extraordinaire, were acting so non-judgemental I was starting to get suspicious, and I could see Lena's radar twitching as well. 

After a while, though, dad began to look drawn and pale, and his breathing began to wheeze. Lena looked at me in alarm. I hurried around to his side, opened his shirt and began massaging his chest, sending Lena to get my bag from the car. While she did that, I propped him upright and held him against me as I compressed his chest, trying to ease his breathing. The chest compressions seemed to help, his breathing sounding less laboured and more normal after a few more compressions. 

Lena came rushing back with my bag, and held it open for me while I rummaged around, pulling out my stethoscope and an inhaler. As I listened to his chest, I could hear everything that mum had told me; his heart sounds were not good, laboured with a pronounced right-ventricular heave and his lungs were congested, the functional impairment a possible precursor of Congestive Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) and bearing out what his doctor had identified, that he was already undergoing progressive architectural destruction of the lungs. 

I was trying to be detached and professional, trying to maintain a calm 'bedside' manner, but I couldn't do it; this wasn't a relatively anonymous patient, it was my dad, he was being eaten away inside, and there was nothing I could do to stop it, slow it, or bring him back. I glanced up at Lena, trying to wear my 'doctor' face, but she knew me too well, and her face paled as she saw what I'd found for myself. Mum handed me his relief medication, I checked the label, it was Salbutamol, a short-acting Beta-Agonist usually used for COPD, and obviously it wasn't having too much effect, which worried me even more, so I gave dad the inhaler from my bag and asked him to give it three good long breaths.

"What is this, son?" he asked.

"It's Formeterol, it's a long-acting bronchodilator, it'll taste foul, but it will help relax your lungs and make breathing a little easier. Three good breaths, now, as deep as you can!"

He humoured me, the sound of his lungs wheezing as he inhaled breaking my heart, but I tried not to let anything show; Lena was watching me, and I had to be strong for her now.

Dad leaned back, his eyes shut and his face red as the effort of taking deep breaths told on him, and I waited anxiously for any sign of his pulmonary distress abating. After a while, he seemed to calm down, and his breathing grew less laboured and more even. Lena looked hopefully at me, but I shook my head, trying desperately not to start tearing-up. I'd seen this so many times on the wards, and been clinical about it every time, but this was my dad, and clinical detachment wasn't going to cut it this time.

After a while, just when I thought he'd dropped off against me, he opened one eye and smiled at me. His breathing had levelled-off, and was no longer churning and rasping in his chest.

"Not bad, son, not so bad at all, all those years finally paid off!" and I had to grin back. 

I looked over at mum.

"How long has he been like this?" I asked her.

Mum looked resigned.

"These episodes have really only been getting worse in the last few months; before that it wasn't so bad, just shortness of breath, coughing fits, that kind of thing. Of course we knew what it was; your father was diagnosed almost three years ago, but we had reason to believe it wasn't progressive, especially as he'd stopped working in the blade-grinding section by then. He was moved to a nice airy, well ventilated office well away from possible airborne contaminants. It was all going so well; he wasn't getting any better, but he wasn't deteriorating either. Then a few months ago this breathing issue cropped up. You know the rest. Most days he could go to work, come home, no problems, but that's not the case anymore."

Lena leaned over.

"Mum, how will you and dad pay for treatment in Cyprus? It's got to be more expensive over there than here!"

Mum leaned back slightly, suddenly looking less weary, almost relieved.

"The company he worked for are settling an Industrial Injuries claim out of court, and your dad's going to be receiving a large payout as compensation, plus his pension and insurance, so we'll be okay. The Base Area hospital in Akrotiri provides free care for dependants of employees, which is what I'll be; I quit my job at the Bristol Royal Infirmary to become Head of the Renal Unit in Akrotiri. Hopefully the climate and the specialist care there will be helpful to your dad." 

Dad tapped my arm.

"Help me upstairs, please son." He requested, and slowly, making sure I didn't hurry him, we made our way upstairs, where I helped him into bed, reviewed his medications, and set up his nebuliser. I noted that there was oxygen and a nasal cannula still in the unopened sterile packaging, which was good, he wasn't far enough gone to need oxygen replenishment just yet. I wondered at how much he'd deteriorated in just the couple of days since I'd gone storming out like a spoiled brat, and wondered, with a sudden stab of guilt, whether I'd been the cause of it.

"Goodnight Dad!" I said, trying to sound cheerful, and he waved me closer.

"Darryl, did I ever tell you about my Great-Uncle Sidney?" he asked.

I shook my head, so he continued.

"He died of acute asbestosis, such a shame. We had him cremated -- it took two weeks... Then there was your Uncle Freddy; he took Liver Salts every day for 60 years, right up until the day he died. Four days after the funeral we had to go back to the cemetery and beat his liver to death with a stick!"

I roared with laughter while dad lay back, a smug grin on his face as I left to go downstairs, still laughing, glad that my dad was together enough to indulge in a bit of gallows humour...

The sleeping arrangements that night were more traditional. Min and Doreen had the guest bedrooms on the top floor, Lena and I had our own rooms on the second floor, and mum and dad were in their bedroom on the floor below. When we said goodnight, I saw mum tense up slightly, waiting for us to announce that we were going to share a room, but that would have been too much, given all that had gone before, and I almost felt the sigh of relief when Lena and I went our separate ways.

I woke fully alert; something had tripped my over-sensitive hearing; it was the sound of my bedroom door inching open. I looked at my watch, it was after two a.m., and as I watched, Lena slipped into the room and padded over to the bed.

"Darryl! Dar! Wake up, it's me, move over!" came the loud stage whisper.

"Shush! You'll wake the house!" I said in a less loud whisper as she slid into my bed, her body warm and soft against mine.

"What's the matter, princess, I thought we agreed...?" I began, but she put her finger to my lip.

"Just shut up and tell me one thing, Darryl. How long?"

I sighed and rolled onto my back, wishing desperately she'd not asked me that one question.

"Princess, please, don't...!" I began, but she instinctively elbowed me in the ribs, her childhood persuader, before gasping and kissing me by way of apology.

"Sorry, baby, but just tell me!" she hissed, and I sighed again, trying to not let emotion overcome me.

"A year, maybe eighteen months, there, are you happy now you made me say it?" I whispered, near tears now.

"Dar, I'm so sorry, I had to know and I knew you'd tell me the truth. Please hold me, baby!"

I was happy to; I needed someone now, in fact I needed Lena, just like I'd always done, but this was one demon she wasn't going to help me get rid of. As I held her close, I realised her eyes were brimming over too, and I reached up and wiped her tears away.

"Don't do that, Lena. Dad's doing this his way, and he doesn't want any of this mourning and sobbing around him; I finally got that. Remember what he used to say to you when you were small?"

Lena drew her arm across her eyes.

"What, 'big girls don't cry'? How did you remember that?"

I kissed her on the corners of her eyes. "It's my favourite song. Now shut up and go to sleep!"

Lena still had something on her mind.

"Darryl, do you think they'll forgive me for what I said to them?"

I stared into the darkness.

"Sis, all you did was grouch; I acted like a complete prick, I went steaming out of the house like a spoiled four-year old in a tantrum, I'm supposed to be a doctor and a rational adult, not an emotional juvenile. I'm surprised you didn't rear up and sock me one as well! I just hope I've learned enough not to jump the gun like that again."

Lena kissed me.

"You're a human being as well, when you lose that part of you is when I'll start to worry. Clinical detachment is all well and good, but you can't bottle these things up inside forever and stay sane. You got hurt, you reacted. It proves you're human, not some robotic medical android, and I'm glad; it means the real Darryl, my Darryl, hasn't been discarded somewhere so Doctor Darryl can take over. Five years on the wards seeing suffering every day hasn't hardened you or diluted your humanity, and I'm glad." 

I kissed her back, glad for her simple support and understanding; those things I'd said to mum were vile, done purely to hurt, and I deserved that slap from Min; in fact, I probably deserved a couple more, but I consoled myself with the fact that at least I knew that now. I would never speak to my mum or dad like that again.

My head full of thoughts like these, I fell asleep with her head cradled against my shoulder, my arm under her neck and her arm thrown across my chest, the sound of her breathing finally lulling me to sleep.

I awoke in the pre-dawn dark to find Lena cuddled up close against me. Her eyes were tight closed, not moving under the eyelids, her breathing slow and even; she was deeply asleep. As I stirred, her arm on my chest tightened, and she muttered "no Dar...stay here...me...love you.... before falling silent again. I slowly turned away from her, sliding my now-dead arm from under her, and she rolled against me, her arm around my waist and her hand flat against my stomach. I froze, hoping not to disturb her, and, after muttering something that sound like 'munumunumunum', she subsided, her breathing deepening and slowing down again. 

I was enjoying the feel of her spooned against me, her arm around me, when I felt her hand slowly moving south. I moved it back only for it to begin its slow-motion creep south again, leading me to wonder just how deeply asleep she really was. Ordinarily I would have happily joined-in, but I was sharply aware of where we were, and why, and I really wasn't in the mood for any hanky-panky.

Lena mumbled against my back, her breasts pushing into me, and I realised I could feel her stiff nipples like two fingertips poking me in the back. I wriggled my shoulder blades, to see what kind of reaction I'd get, and was rewarded with a softly-hissed intake of breath. Ah ha, so she wanted to play silly buggers, good, this was a game I knew well, I knew the rules, and I even had a few moves of my own!

I wriggled my shoulder blades again, making her hiss again, then abruptly slid to the other side of the bed, well away from her, grinning to myself.

"Darryl Morgan, you come back here this instant!" was the hissed response this time.




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 02



"I thought you were asleep, Lena!" I taunted her, getting a sharp pinch for it.

"Okay Sis, you win, what can I do for you, as if I didn't know?" I leered at her, sliding back to her as I turned around to face her.

"Hold me, Dar, the way you did yesterday!" she whispered, and I gladly obliged, sliding my hands down to her lovely pert little bum and squeezing the luscious cheeks through her panties like a market trader testing the ripeness of the fruit. Yep, these were ripe alright...

Lena responded by grinding her mons against my rapidly hardening cock and nipping my bottom lip as she did so, teasing me as I tried to kiss her. I tugged the hem of her sleeping shirt, and she wriggled as she tugged it up and over her head, leaving her in just her panties, the light silky material stretched tight across the globes of her deliciously tempting bottom.

"Your turn!" she hissed softly at me, tugging at the waistband of my shorts. I obliged as I had no real option with her tugging at them, sliding them off and allowing my stiff cock to spring forward into her waiting hands.

"Lena, this is not a good idea!" I hissed back, "you know who's here don't you? We're surrounded by the family, we must be out of our bloody minds!"

Lena leaned forward and licked the tip of my nose.

"I know, cool, huh? I feel so dirty right now, let's do something really dirty!"

I was trying to restrain my impulses, but my hands refused to leave her perfect buttocks alone, and the thought of her naked was doing things to my cock that no amount of Viagra could ever hope to compete with. I slid my hands inside the back of her panties, running my finger up and down the deep crease between her buttocks, making her quiver and giggle softly.

"You can do better than that, Dar, don't I inspire you?" she asked in a sexy, little-girl lisp, and I grinned as I slid her panties down and pulled her buttocks open, rubbing my finger over her tight little rosebud. Lena responded by pushing back against my hand, forcing her pucker against my questing finger, so I slid one into the tight little hole, listening to the gasp as I invaded her secret place.

"There you go, you wanted dirty, how much dirtier do you want it to be?" I grinned, thinking I was calling her bluff.

"Keep that in there and fuck me, Dar, it feels so nice, I can imagine how good it'll feel when you're shoving this into me!" she grinned, squeezing the shaft of my straining cock.

By now I was in no mood to stop. Her nearness, her teasing and goading me, and her hands squeezing my cock and massaging my balls could only have one outcome. I pulled her closer and rolled her on top of me, keeping my finger inside her tight anus, wriggling it around and making 'come here' curling motions with it as I pumped it in and out of her, making her gasp as I positioned my cock at her entrance. Lena wriggled and kicked her panties down and off, straddling me as I rubbed my cock against her wet pussy.

"Now Dar, please, do me now!" she gasped, and I slowly slid into her, enjoying immensely the tight constriction of her vagina around my twitching cock.

"Ooooh yesss, God yes, just like that, Dar, oh Christ yesss, ooohhh...!" she murmured, gyrating her hips as she pumped herself on me. For someone who'd only ever done this for the first time 24 hours ago, she was a fast and inventive learner, I had to admit! I clasped hold of her bum with my free hand, and leaned up to capture a nipple between my lips, groping, plundering, and squeezing her backside as I chewed, licked, and sucked on her delightfully firm and rubbery nipples. 

She began to hitch and pump harder against me, her breathing becoming harsher as her orgasm approached, and I slid my finger out of her anus to hold both her fabulous buttocks as I hammered into her, driving my cock up into her as she pumped back down against me.

Lena gave a muffled groan as her orgasm rolled over her, the convulsions in her pussy almost making me come there and then in her unprotected pussy. I gritted my teeth and kept pumping, feeling the sensations as the waves rippled through her until she was done, and she slumped down on top of me, her heart hammering against mine. Eventually she raised up and leaned down to kiss me happily.

"Thank you, baby, God that was wonderful, but what about you?" she asked, "what did you get out of that?"

I smiled and helped her off my still rock-hard cock, and turned her around, pulling her up on her knees so I could squeeze and rub her firm breasts and hard nipples. Lena has rose pink nipples, at least half an inch when erect, and firm and solid to the touch, crowning firm, soft, malleable breasts. It was a delight and a feast for my hands to hold and squeeze those beauties as I rubbed my cock in the cleft between her beautiful buttocks. Lena sighed and leaned back against me, her hands going to my sides to steady herself as I rubbed and squeezed her breasts, until she turned her head and kissed me on the side of the mouth.

"Now Darryl, please...!"

I bent her forward enough to slide my cock back into her depths, holding her upright with my arm around her waist and one of her arms around the back of my neck, holding herself against my steady thrusting. We pumped and thrust like this as the excitement built again; at one point I slid both my hands up to cup her breasts as I pounded into her, while she rubbed her clitoris as she thrust back against me. At last she slumped down on all fours, before laying her head flat on the pillow, her beautiful rump thrust up at me. I could clearly see her tight little anus winking at me as I jammed my cock into her dripping pussy, and it was a terrific struggle not to just let go and blast stream after stream of spunk into her tight, unprotected pussy and take my chances; not that I cared; Lena was mine, and I wanted to make her mine in every way, make babies with her, spend my life with her. But that was a choice she had to make too, it wasn't just mine to make. 

I was approaching that point of no return, and as I clamped my hands down on her lovely sculpted hindquarters, enjoying immensely the sight of her lumbar dimples as her bottom quivered and shook from my thrusting into her, I slid my thumb into her anus. 

That did it; she came with a muffled scream, her face buried in the pillow as a massive orgasm ripped through her. I barely managed to withdraw before I came explosively, my sperm blasting out of me in long jets, to splash on her marvellous bum, the backs of her thighs, and the small of her back.

I slumped over, my breath harsh in my throat as my chest bellowsed and my heart hammered in my chest like a piston. Lena slumped down flat on the bed, her body dripping runnels of spunk, her breathing harsh and shallow as she shuddered and quivered with aftershocks from her volcanic orgasm. At last I recovered enough to pick up my shirt and use it to wipe the mess from her body, Lena mewing contentedly as I gently wiped her clean.

As I wadded up my soiled shirt, Lena reached up and pulled me down next to her.

"Thank you Darryl, that was fabulous, I never felt so good. You do special things to me, you know that? I want you to keep on doing that to me forever!"

I kissed her lightly.

"I intend to, darling, believe me! That was close, though, I don't have any morning-after pills with me, so we should be a little more careful from now on, okay?"

Lena pulled herself close to me and looked me in the eyes, her eyes luminous in the half light.

"I meant it; you belong to me; you always have, you just didn't know it! When this is all over, you and I have to have a talk about us, about our life, and about our future. We need to talk about what comes next. Once mum and dad leave, there's only you and I; Min and Doreen are old ladies, we're really all we've got, so we have to sort our lives out; and by that I mean who we are together, as a couple, not just as individuals. I just want to make one thing clear, though; I absolutely fucking refuse to be your auntie!"

She was right, of course, but I didn't want to think about what comes next, because that meant thinking about life after my dad was gone, and I couldn't go there, not yet.

"Can we talk about this after they leave? I promise I'll sit down with you and we'll make some real plans. Right now all I want is for you and me to be together, for the two of us to be there for each other before they leave. Deal?"

Lena looked me closely in the eyes, then nipped my chin again, which seemed to be her way of sealing an agreement.

"Deal, Darryl, after they leave!"

"Good, now you'd better get back to your room before someone finds you in here!" I grinned, Lena rather grandly ignoring me.

"Shut up Darryl, I'm perfectly comfortable, I believe I'll stay right here, now lie down and go back to sleep!"

Grinning in defeat, I climbed back under the covers and hugged my kid sister (for now, anyway...) to me, grateful for her presence, and aroused by her condition i.e. stark naked and just roundly fucked by me. Lena seemed to sense this, and squirmed around to meet me lip to lip, my hands dropping down to cradle and gently knead her awesome little backside while we spent a very enjoyable pre-dawn snogging session, something we hadn't done enough of, in my opinion. Kissing Lena was a sexy, satisfying, highly arousing experience, and I was determined to enjoy every last second of it. Her lips were soft, delightful, demanding, submissive, delicate to the touch, a bondage I found it impossible to break away from; we indulged in light, playful feather touch kisses, fleeting brushes of lip on lip and tongue tip to tongue tip, long, indulgent, soulful kisses, mad, frenetic French-kisses with duelling tongues and frantic scrabbling of hands as each fought to hold the other down; in short, the entire spectrum of osculation as we determined to explore the many and varied ways it was possible to kiss one person. Each time I kissed her, the bond with her deepened and took firmer hold, until it anchored in the very bedrock of me.

At last, stimulated beyond my ability to withstand it, I slid my achingly erect penis into her once again, our lips locked together as we made love as the couple we now were. We made love, not animalistic fucking to satisfy our urges, not copulating for the thrill of it, but rather our own private sacrament, the final realisation, recognition, and fulfilment of an underlying truth that had resonated between the two of us for years; this was meant to be, we were meant for each other, and always had been. When we finally came, in a mutual orgasm like a blaze of liquid fire down my spinal column, I barely managed to withdraw in time, my semen spraying across her stomach and chest as I literally blasted myself empty on to her beautiful, desirable body. Lena clamped her mouth down on my shoulder, her scream muffled as she bit down on me, her body quivering as waves of pleasure threatened to overwhelm her as her orgasm rolled on and on. When we'd finished, we slumped down in exhaustion, uncaring where we were, only that we finally got to sleep.

I was awakened one more time, quiet sobs from Lena quivering in her and jarring me awake. I turned over and pulled her against me.

"Why the tears, Lena, I thought we gone past that for now?" I asked her.

"Oh Darryl, it hurts, it hurts so much!" she sobbed quietly, "Why did this have to happen, and why did I have to know? I liked being your little sister, it was my favourite thing in the world, knowing how much you needed me! Now that's gone, and if I'm not your sister, who was I all those years? Who am I now?"

I hugged her close, letting her cry herself out, asking myself the same question; who was I, really?

We awoke together, the early morning sunshine waking me as it had done every day of my childhood, flooding the room through the tall windows of this classic Georgian house. Lena was huddled up against me, her arm around me and her head in the crook of my neck. My eyes blinked open at the same time as hers, and I was instantly blessed with a soft kiss on the base of my throat.

"Good morning Dar, how's my horny big brother this bright and cheerful morning?" she smiled, her fit of the blues obviously passed. She tweaked my already painful morning erection and grinning knowingly.

For answer, I slid my fingers around her naked, firm little backside and into the cleft between her cheeks, rubbing and brushing my fingers over her intriguing little rosebud, making her grin and bite her bottom lip.

"Last night you said you wanted 'dirty';" I said, "I know a couple of things we could do that fit the requirement; are you ready?"

She clasped hold of my cock and began rubbing and squeezing it.

"Why Darryl Morgan, whatever are you suggesting?" she asked coquettishly, while simultaneously squeezing and massaging my scrotum, making my balls tighten up in anticipation.

I smiled as dirtily as I knew how.

"You started this, you dirty girl, all I'm doing is following instructions from my darling partner and wife to be!"

Lena gasped, her beautiful eyes widening as she smiled a slow, bewitching smile.

"You'd better mean that, Darryl Morgan, don't you dare say something like that unless you mean it!" she whispered.

I pulled her closer by those enchanting buttocks, copping a serious feel as I did so.

"I meant every word, Lena. We agreed, once mum and dad have left, there's only you and me, so this is the only way we can go forward. There's only one girl for me, and there only ever will be -- but not my sister, and definitely not my aunt, because I can't get my head around either of those. So there you are, one slightly bedraggled, out-of-work doctor, it's all I have, but it's all yours, forever, debts and all, if you're sure that's what you want!"

Lena looked distantly at me.

"So what will we be if I can't be your sister, which apparently is your top option, and I refuse to accept that I'm your aunt? What about what I want? Answer me, smart boy!"

I could see that angry glint in her eyes, and thought I'd dropped a huge clanger somewhere. I quickly replayed everything I'd said, and then it hit me; she was getting-off on the sister/brother fucking thing, she was actually enjoying the whole 'this is incest, isn't it fun!' thing going on here. I had to put a stop to this, now, because I couldn't have a relationship based solely on the fact that Lena wanted to live-out the kink; we both had to be in for the same reason, or both out, no half-measures. I'd already emotionally re-adjusted my outlook to ignore the fact that she was my aunt, and I wanted her, oh how I wanted her, but only as Lena, a beautiful, desirable girl, not Lena, my aunt and sometime sister.

"Lena, I can't be with you while you're my sister, don't you get that?" I asked her, looking her directly in the eyes. "As long as I know I'm not having sex with my sister, I can ignore the fact that you're my mythical biological mother's half-sister; can't you see that? It puts you far enough outside the pale for the Darryl inside me to see you as fair game. We can make this work, but not as we are; we have to change, we can't go the rest of our lives with you being my sister and me trying to ignore it; there's just too much history, too much baggage with that relationship;I can't do it. I can love you as a lover and partner, or as my sister; I can't do both. If you want to be my sister, that's all you'll have to be, I'm sorry, so truly sorry, I can't do it any other way!"

Lena was looking less hostile, but only slightly so.

"So what you're saying is, I can be your sister, and no matter how I feel about you, or what we've already done, that's all I'll ever be to you, or I can stop being your sister, just let that go forever, which breaks my heart, so you can love me like I want, is that the size of it? I'll be your, what, partner? Girlfriend? And you'll be the same to me, just a normal couple, no 'brother/sister' thing going on?"

I nodded, my own heart breaking for the loss I could see in her eyes.

"I know some people would say that it's a bit late to be thinking like that, considering what we've already done, and I have no excuse for that; I got caught up in it and went along with it because it felt so good, and you're so beautiful, and sexy and just hot, when what I should have done was called a halt before it went this far. I wasn't thinking straight then, but now I want to be as honest with you as I know how, and I have to tell you, I know now that I can't be with my sister, not in the way you want. I can be with you if I have a way for you to not be my sister, otherwise it all falls apart for me; I should have thought about this, I'm supposed to be the older one here, dammit!"

"If you want to go back to just being my sister I'll understand; I'll always love you anyway Lena, nothing's changed there, I'll have my little sister back and we'll just keep on being brother and sister, and let this slip away; I can't be your lover and your brother, it has to be one or the other."

Lena pulled herself closer to me, her hands on either side of my face as she looked into my eyes. I could see resolve in hers, and her mood lightening, which was a good sign.

"Of course I want to keep on being your sister, the thought of fucking my big brother was a huge turn-on for me, but you say if I want you any other way, I have to let that go, so we can be together as a normal couple? Okay, it's done; I so want to be with you, and I want you to be with me in the worst way, so I'll take you any way I can get you; at least this way I get you with no reservations, no holding back from you, and just a few small regrets from me, but I can live with those. It's a deal, podnuh!" she drawled like John Wayne, her good humour restored.

She pulled me down and kissed me to seal the deal, her arms going around my neck as I once more slid my hands down to knead and fondle those splendid cheeks, my erection by this time truly epic; bone hard, brutally swollen and distended out of all recognition.

Lena felt me prodding her, and slid her hand down to grasp and squeeze me, her eyes lighting up while mine nearly popped out...

"Did I do this, Dar?" she asked in that sexy, little-girl lisp, and I grinned back.

"What can I say; you bring out the worst in me!"

Lena pulled herself right up against me, her lips looking for mine, and I obliged; she was a great kisser, no doubt about that... While I kissed her, I continued to lightly rub and circle her spongy little anus, feeling the little hole jerk and contract as I tickled it, Lena gasping into my mouth every time her little hole reacted to my probing fingers. I moved over her, holding her by her sexy little bum, and slowly slid my aching cock into her sopping wet pussy, Lena breathing out in one long, drawn out sigh as I slid in all the way. Her arms tightened around my neck as she raised her head to kiss me.

"Okay Dar, now you've got me, do something dirty to me, make me howl like a banshee, do something to make me glad I climbed into bed with you!"

I grinned; I had something planned alright, but I learned one cardinal rule in the St. George's Medical School Poker and Getting Blitzed School; never tip your hand until you're ready for the showdown. I wasn't ready just yet, I wanted her in just the right frame of mind for what I had in mind; luckily she was almost there... 

I began a slow, languid pumping motion, gently sliding myself in and out of her. Lena laid back, relaxing her hold on my neck to slide her hands up and down my back as I made love to her, her breath hot in my ear as she nibbled and kissed the side of my face, my earlobe, and whispered how she was feeling as I drilled as deep into her as I could get. She began moving more definitely against me, her pelvis rising up to meet me as I thrust down, the two of us bound together as our bodies fought to stay in synchronisation as we humped and pounded against each other.




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 03



Many thanks to MRiceman1964 for editing, commenting, and keeping an eye on reality for me, thanks, Mike! As this is a direct follow from Part 2, it would make sense to read that first, otherwise things may become slightly confusing...

As before, I caution you that, while there is a certain correspondence between the real world and the world I've written here, they are not the same place, these stories are not factual, and any parallels the reader wants to draw with the real world are entirely the responsibility of the reader.

All comment is welcome, those that actually say something, or make helpful or useful criticism , or are just funny, are kept; all the loony, scary, weird and just plain nasty ones are deleted, so if you just want to be nasty, don't waste your time, I'll only delete it (unless it's funny...)

If you like it, please vote for it; if you don't, please tell me why!

________________________________

I held Lena close, feeling her warmth against me as I kissed her cheek lightly, then I took her hand, my sister's hand, and slipped the antique engagement ring onto her finger, pulling her close again to kiss her cheek once more and whisper that I loved her, while mum stood by and smiled sadly. Finally she dabbed at her eyes and passed me a piece of paper with a 'University Hospitals Bristol NHS Trust' heading. I looked at her questioningly.

"What is this mum?" I asked her, and she smiled.

"It's the number for my old head of department; he's head of the Cardio-Vascular unit at the Royal Infirmary, and he's looking for a Junior Surgical Consultant for a Locum to substantive post with the Cardiology team; I told him about you, and he's waiting for you to call him. It's initially for six months, but the post will become substantive if you decide to remain with the team; I think you should take it; you and Lena will need this, so do it soon, Darryl, please, for both of you."

I hugged her tightly, she'd solved my first problem, and now Lena and I had something to tell everyone. I nodded to Lena and all eyes switched to her.

"Mum, daddy, Darryl and I have been talking, and we've come to a decision; we want to have a baby, soon, this year. Please don't object or start giving me reasons why we can't, this is what we want, we think it's what this family needs, there are...other reasons why we want a baby this year, you know as well as I what they are, but this is for us, and for you. We love each other very much, and this is what we both want."

Dad smiled, looking slightly bemused, but not surprised, mum smiled slightly, nodding as though something had become clear.

"What you kids do is not really my business anymore," said dad, "I'm in no position to tell you what's right or wrong, but I will say just one thing again; Darryl, Lena's been in love with you since forever, don't make her regret giving her heart to you, and I mean that; in a little while there'll be only the two of you here, you'll have to take care of each other, and any little ones who come along, so you have to be sure that this is what you want. Your Aunt Min's right, this is an all-in deal, so now's the time to back out if you're going to, not two years down the line, or five or ten. I want to leave this world secure in the knowledge that my kids have done the right thing by each other, and that they're going to keep on doing it for each other and their family."

Lena left her seat and came and stood next to me, her fingers gently stroking the back of my neck, before sitting on my lap, my arm instinctively going around her waist to hold her to me. She used to sit like this before, when we were younger, but now there was a whole new meaning to why she chose to do that, and mum and dad both got it.

"Mum, daddy, Darryl and I will be fine; we've both got what we want, you really don't need to worry about us, or what we're doing, or where we're going with this; we know what we feel for each other, and what we want out of life, for both of us, and it starts right here!"

After that there was a flurry of family hugs and conversation about when they were leaving, things they should take and leave behind, bright and positive, but with an undercurrent of bitter sadness. 

I called the number mum gave me and made an appointment to see her old boss after she and dad had left, and he understood; he was quite despondent at her leaving, she'd been Head Nurse in the Cardiology Centre before taking up her post in the Renal Unit, and was one of his most trusted friends and colleagues in both posts. He really didn't want to let her go, but he knew what was happening with dad, and accepted that I had more pressing things to deal with just now.

That night, Lena and I went up to bed together, mum and dad making no comment when we left together, and just a broad wink from Min. Once we got to the room, Lena wasted no time in stripping off and climbing into bed naked. I held out her sleeping shirt, but she just dimpled and declined it.

"What's the point in putting it on Dar, you'll just yank it off me again! I'll just sleep raw if you don't mind!"

I didn't mind at all, she was a wonderful sight to behold naked, and I could feel all kinds of interest stirring, something she noted as I climbed into bed.

We held each other close, as much for comfort as for the chance to feel each other's body pressed together so intimately, and the involuntary reflex struck; my cock was rock hard and ready for action from being pressed against Lena's smooth hairless mound, something she noticed immediately.

"So Darryl, you feel like a little contact sport, some night games, yes?" she whispered in my ear, and try as I might to think how inappropriate this would be, all I really wanted to do was jam my cock into her as hard and as far as I could. Taking my silence as agreement, she wrapped her little hand around my hardness and squeezed gently. I reciprocated by sliding my hands down and cupping her sexy cheeks, enjoying the springy firmness of them in the palms of my hands as I squeezed and kneaded them.

"Got any new moves in your playbook, Stud?" she teased, licking my lips as she kissed me with light, feathery kisses all over my face and neck.

In reply, I rolled her onto her back and clamped my lips over her nipples, sucking at the rubbery little stalks in turn and flicking them with my tongue tip, making her giggle and sigh. I moved on down, lightly kissing and licking her tummy, licking and swirling my tongue around in her gorgeous little navel before kissing down to her beautiful bare little pussy. I slid between her thighs and pulled toward me, putting my hands behind her knees and pushing her legs up to raise her pelvis off the bed.

"Why Darryl whatever are you doing to me!?" she cooed, and in answer I dipped my head down to lick in a long slow line from the hood of her clitoris all the way to her cute, sexy, tempting little pink starfish.

"Ooohhh! That feels so good, keep doing that!" she groaned, and I obliged by pushing her legs even further over, until her knees were almost touching her shoulders, her pussy pointing straight at the ceiling. 

Now I licked and sucked in earnest, pushing my tongue between the folds of flesh enfolding her vulva, probing between them, tasting and teasing her. I came at last to the hard little knob of her clitoris, fully emerged from its little hood and glowing pale pink, slick, shiny and appealing. Lena kept up a constant sighing encouragement, the words "oh yes, like that, yes, oh yes...!" tripping endlessly from her lips as I licked, sucked, teased, and tormented her delicious, sopping wet pussy, paying especially close attention to her clitoris, sucking it gently and rubbing it lightly with my tongue. 

Lena was threshing about on the bed, mini-orgasms bursting through her in waves, and when I slid my hand around her hip and rubbed her clitoris as I pushed my tongue deep into her vagina, she came with a loud groan, her pussy convulsing around my tongue as she shuddered and trembled with pleasure. 

I hadn't finished with her yet, though; as she began to come down, I rubbed her clitoris lightly with my thumb, while I licked and tickled her anus with my tongue-tip, listening to the murmured "Oh! Oh! Oh!" as I darted my tongue in and out of her. I kept up the motion of my thumb on her clitoris, alternating with sliding it into her pussy in time to my tongue thrusts into her tight, slick little hole.

Lena began to twitch and push her crotch into my face, humping herself against me as I probed and jabbed inside her private places, her breathing beginning to hitch as she approached her orgasm, and as her pussy tightened about my intruding thumb, I shoved my tongue into her anus as hard as I could. 

She came with a guttural scream, warm tangy-sweet liquid spraying across my face and neck as she ejaculated with the force of her orgasm, her anus contracting and forcing my tongue out as her pussy clamped down tightly around my thumb. I kept stroking her clitoris and licking her anus, keeping her orgasm rolling on.

At last she was done, her legs dropping back down to the bed and her breathing harsh as she gulped for air, and I could see a pulse beating in her neck and the base of her throat. As I watched, she calmed, her breathing slowing and her pulse no longer hammering.

"That was awesome, Dar, where did you learn that? Oh yes, Gower Street Nurses Quarters, why do I even bother asking...?" she smiled, and then took hold of me.

"You need to do something about this, Lover-Boy; any ideas?" she grinned wickedly, holding my bone-hard erection and circling her thumb in the clear lubricant oozing from the tip.

I shuffled up between her wide-spread thighs, and leaned down, Lena guiding me until I slid into her, the sudden constriction around my cock exciting and highly stimulating. Lena hissed as I slid all the way into her, until I was buried to the very root in her hot, tight pussy. I stopped to let her prepare herself, and she pulled my head down, kissing me once lightly on the lips.

"What are you waiting for, Daryl? Get a move on, make babies in me!"

I grinned, beginning to move within her, slipping in and out as I pumped her full of my cock. Lena held herself tight against me, her hips pumping against mine, and her pussy squeezing and relaxing as I jammed myself into her. She was close to orgasm again, I could see it in her flushed face and neck, her elevated heart rate and the glazed look developing on her face. I was near the point of no return when she began muttering in my ear, goading me on, heating me up even further.

"That's it, Darryl, shove that cock into me, fill me with baby juice, you put a ring on my finger, now put a baby in my belly, c'mon stud, fuck that baby into me, don't you want to see my belly with your baby inside it?!"

I lost it, hammering mindlessly into her, my whole world consisting of the feel of her wrapped around me, humping against me as I pumped into her, her arms around me as she talked endlessly in my ear, telling me what she wanted me to do to her, making me hot, making me want to just explode inside her.

Lena came in a series of convulsions, a volcanic eruption of pleasure inside her, her pussy rippling and sucking at my cock. All I could hear was her scream as she orgasmed, and that did it for me; I came like a thunderbolt, pouring pulse after pulse of spunk into her tight pussy, jamming my cock into her as I filled her up, wanting nothing but to make my baby inside her right now, this instant; this was going to be the one, I was sure of it! We convulsed against each other for long minutes, stream after stream of sperm pouring out of me and into her, doing what she'd asked, filling her with my baby juice, mating with her, impregnating my sister, my aunt, my girl.

I slumped down next to her, totally spent, Lena in almost the same state from the endless orgasms she'd been having all night. I was almost too tired to think, but I did remember to switch on the alarm clock, and then I pulled Lena close, and that was it until the ringing of the alarm woke us the next morning. 

The drive to the airport was as grim and tense as I'd been dreading it would be; Lena went in the MPV taxi with mum, dad, and their luggage, squeezing-in a last few minutes with them, and I followed with the aunts as my passengers. Min tried talking to me as we drove to Bristol International, the old Lulsgate Airport, but I had too much on my mind right then, so after a while she gave up, Doreen just leaning over to brush my face with her fingertips without saying anything. Lena had been even more uncommunicative this morning, the reality of our parents' leaving now striking home, but I had nothing to say to her; what could I possibly have said? Min and Doreen seemed to understand this, and even their small talk together soon petered-out.

We sat in the departure lounge, waiting for their flight to Paphos to be called, me mostly in silence, Lena looking lost and ready to cry. 

I felt like I was about one step behind her; they weren't going on holiday, they weren't retiring abroad, they were going to Cyprus because my dad was dying, and his doctor thought he might eke out a few more weeks or months of life if he left. I understood that; I'd probably have made the same recommendation, but that didn't make me feel any better about it. 

Then the moment came I'd been dreading; I looked up at the departures board and their flight was up, time to go. Mum saw it as well and pulled Lena to her in one last, desperate bear-hug. Lena looked at her in surprise, then glanced up and saw the board, and a look of utter loss and desolation settled on her face. She tried to say something, but all that came out was a soft mewing sound of anguish and unbearable loss.

Mum and dad started pushing the trolley with their hand-luggage to the gate, Lena tagging along with them, and me trailing behind, unable to believe this moment had actually come, that they were actually leaving us. The two aunts hung back, crying as they waved goodbye, their own hugs and farewell kisses done. Lena started crying, and mum reached up to wipe her tears, tears streaming down her own face. When we got to the gate, dad turned to me and hugged me close, holding the back of my neck as I hugged him, then he pulled away and grinned his old grin.

"See you in a month or so, eh?" he smiled, and I grinned back in spite of myself.

"You bet, have the beers on ice!" I smiled, suddenly feeling just a little more upbeat; we'd see them again in a few weeks, this wasn't goodbye, it was just 'Au Revoir'; it helped if I thought like that; not a lot, but some.

"Love you, Son!"" he whispered, and I whispered back "Love you too, dad!"

When we'd finally hugged and kissed them goodbye a dozen times, they walked through the Departure Gate, and it was all I could do to stop myself barring their way, dragging them back home; I was a doctor, I could look after my dad, he didn't need to die in a foreign country...thoughts like these filled my head, but I stood my ground; they needed to do this, it was for dad, and it was what he wanted, it was what he needed for mum. 

Just as they disappeared through Immigration Control, Lena darted forward, obviously planning on following them, but I'd been half-expecting something like this and I caught her before she gone two steps, grabbing her round the waist and holding her as she struggled.

"Get...off...they're leaving...No, Darryl, please, ...fucking let go of me! No....Mummy...no, don't go...wait for me...Daddy, no, wait for me, pleeaase...!"

I held her tightly, holding her against me as she struggled and tried to squirm out of my grasp.

"Lena, no, stop it, no, Lena, wait, you can't go in there, you haven't got a passport, they'll arrest you, stop it!"

She suddenly went limp against me, moaning softly "...No...No...They're going...stop them, please, Darryl, please, make them stop...mum...!"

I held her close to me as she cried against my shoulder, stroking her hair as she sobbed herself out. At last she stopped crying, taking the tissue I offered her.

"Why did you stop me Dar? I could have called them back; they don't have to go...!"

I gently pulled her round to look at me.

"Look, baby, you can't go in there, but this is what we'll do; over there is the Easyjet desk, we'll get you a ticket and you can fly out tomorrow, with a passport and a proper ticket and everything, OK? I knew you couldn't let them go, not like this, so you go out and stay with mum and dad for as long as you want, I'll be here, waiting for you. I won't be lonely, Aunt Doreen lives nearby, maybe I'll ask her to come and stay while you're away. I really think you need to do this, so you should. I'll hopefully have a new job to be getting to grips with, so I won't have time to be lonely, but if I need you, I can still call you, and you just come back home when you're ready."

Lena looked at me wide-eyed.

"You'd do that? Really?" and I nodded.

"In a heartbeat; I can't bear to see you crying, and I won't have you being sad when I can do something about it. We can fix this easily enough; you were wrong when you said you could let them go, we know that now, so let's fix this right now. Come on; let's get your ticket for you!"

My heart was breaking as I said it; the thought of losing her, maybe for months on end, was something I didn't even want to think about, but I couldn't have my girl hurting and sad. She needed more time with mum and dad, and I could give it to her, it was the least I could do, and it was the right thing to do; my own needs would have to take a back-seat; my sister, my girl, the centre of my world, needed me to do this for her.

We booked her on a flight bound for Paphos the following morning, and drove home in silence, both of us too full of our thoughts to talk about anything, even the aunts sitting silently in the back seat, and spent a gloomy afternoon packing her bags and a quiet evening talking about nothing much. When we went to bed, Lena held me close all night, almost fearful of letting go of me. We didn't make love; we had far too much to think about.

I took her to the airport alone; Doreen and Min had elected to let us have a little privacy and spend the day together, so it was just the two of us at the airport, fidgeting as we waited for the inevitable. When her flight was called it felt like the end of everything, and once again I had to restrain myself, this time from holding her back, from preventing her getting on that flight, but I let her go, and walked her to the gate. Once there, she turned and held me close, kissing me long and desperately, then breaking off to hold my face in her hands.

"I'll be back soon, baby, I swear; I just want a chance to say goodbye properly; they did everything in such a rush I just got...swept along, and I never got to say goodbye properly, or get used to the idea of them leaving; that's all this is. I love you Darryl, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I have to go and say goodbye first, can you understand that?"

Of course I understood, I always had; in truth I wanted to do the exact same thing, but now she had to go, so I kissed her and watched her walk through Immigration Control and disappear. Going home was almost unbearable, the thought of going back to that big echoing house alone was almost too much to bear, and when I got home, it was as bad as I thought it would be. I wandered around, completely lost and alone for the first time in my life, a solitary ghost haunting this enormous house where so much had happened, and now it was just me, drifting sadly from room to room, nothing here now but fading echoes of the lives that had been lived there before moving on.

Min came home about seven that evening to find me moping about the place, already more lonely than I had ever been in my entire life. I'd already called mum's old boss and had confirmed an appointment to see him the following morning, so maybe I'd have a job to fill up my days and distract me from the aching loneliness now that Lena was gone. 




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 03



Min disappeared after a while, and I came upon her crying in the upstairs sitting room, weeping for her baby brother, my dad; of course, this really was the end for her, she would never see him again; she was too old, and her heart was too frail for her to fly, so today had been the final farewell for her, something I'd forgotten or never considered, I was so wrapped up in my own loss. Now it was my turn to hold Min and to comfort her. Eventually she stopped crying, but I could see the loss in her eyes, the pain of the permanent separation she'd undergone as well, and it helped to put my own loss and loneliness in perspective. 

We chatted, haltingly, at first, about their lives when dad was a small boy, how she and Doreen, teenagers themselves, had brought him up after their mother had died when dad was still just a toddler; his father had died in Korea just before dad was born, killed in the action at Imjin, Hill 235, during the valiant but doomed stand of the Gloucester Battalion, 'The Glorious Glosters', encircled, vastly outnumbered and eventually decimated. Dad's father was one of the thousand men killed or missing in action in just one night of fierce hand to hand fighting against the Chinese; of such last stands legend is made. I never knew this, and I felt a burst of pride that my family had played a part in such a famous and evocative battle...

She told me how, after she'd married my late Uncle Alfie, they had become dad's surrogate parents, and how she and Doreen had been so angry with him when he joined the Royal Air Force and had been posted to Cyprus, because they both thought he was far too young to be separated from his family like that. I was fascinated, hearing family history for the first time, about dad and Elizabeth's mother, my grandmother, how she'd disappeared, and then turned-up one day with the baby girl and just left her with him, and disappeared again, never to be seen or heard of again; how he'd struggled to bring her up, a young man barely out of his teens, then meeting mum when Elizabeth was a teenager, and finally, how it had taken me, and then Lena, to heal the rift and bring them back together again. 

At last I felt I understood the close bond between dad and his older sisters. With all the talk about family, Min had decided it was time she went home to her son and grandchildren; being surrounded by reminders of dad was too much for her, so she asked me to get hold of her son to come collect her, but I told her I'd take her back to Croydon; it wasn't as though I was busy, or anything...

I called the number in Kolossi, mum and dad's new home, to see if Lena had arrived yet and Lena answered, telling me about the flight and the car journey from Paphos to Kolossi, which is about 60 km. We chatted about what had happened, and once again she told me that she'd be back soon, that she just needed a little more time to get used to the idea of them not being there. She told me she loved me, and when I told her I loved and missed her, she started crying. Mum rescued the phone and promised she'd calm Lena down. I gave her my love to give to dad, and rang off.

The interview the following morning was almost a formality; the Senior Registrar, a Mr. Barclay, reviewed my credentials and my references, some of whom were old friends and former colleagues of his, told me what the pay was, outlined the extent of the surgical calendar, and basically asked when I could start, so I was in! I asked for a few days to get settled in properly, and agreed that I would start the following Monday, five days away.

I drove home, collected Min and her luggage, and headed back down the M4 to London. She asked me to stay a couple of days but I had to decline; I had to collect my clothes and personal papers, and make arrangements for my stuff to be packed and shipped from my flat, collect my security deposit, and drop off the keys, all of which took time.

Work was just about what I expected; the local National Health Service Hospitals Trust in Bristol had a lot of surgical patients backlogged, so I ended up as fill-in surgeon on the Cardio-vascular surgical team, clearing the night calendar along with the other night-owls, misfits and insomniacs, which suited me fine, and freed-up my more gregarious colleagues from having to rotate through the night surgery rota. 

It meant I could work all night, and then call Lena in the late morning from home, before having dinner and going to bed. I usually worked all week, including weekends, which gave me less time to sit at home alone and mope; I didn't need spare time alone, I wasn't in any kind of mood to go out socialising, not without my Lena, so work gave me a good refuge, plus I did earn a lot of overtime! 

I must have made a good impression, because after just a few weeks my Locum contract was cancelled and I was made a substantive member of staff, on a staff salary, which was less than Locum, but carried pension and holiday benefits. 

And so my routine was established; work through the night, drive home and call Lena while dinner was being nuked in the microwave, watch some dire daytime TV, go for a run, have a short work-out and go to bed, to be back at work by 10 p.m. This worked fine for me, until at last, one day about six weeks after she'd left, I got the call I wanted so much to hear.

"Darryl? Baby, I'm coming home! My flight's booked for tomorrow, arriving at Bristol at three o'clock, can you pick me up please baby? And baby...I had a bout of morning sickness today, my first one; Dar, we're pregnant!"

She giggled at my suddenly incoherent babbling.

"Oh Dar, you are so sweet, listen to you, you sound like an expectant father! I have to go now, baby, I think you need to sit down, and this is daddy's phone bill, so can't chit-chat! Don't forget to come and get me! Love you more than much, baby!"

She hung up and I stared at the phone. Morning Sickness! We were having a baby! I grinned at the phone, feeling foolish, happy, weird, a welter of emotions, but the overriding one was sheer gladness that my baby was coming home, and she was having my baby! I couldn't sleep that afternoon, I kept seeing Lena, with a big belly, with a pushchair, carrying a toddler, holding hands with a small child, and all the while I was exulting that it was my baby, my child in those visions or daydreams or whatever. 

I dropped off to sleep and dreamed of Lena and me, and our children, our babies growing-up here in this house where love had never been in short supply.

I was at the airport an hour early, just so I didn't miss her through some mischance, but her flight touched down on schedule, and I paced while I waited for her to clear customs and get her luggage, and then suddenly, there she was, heartstoppingly beautiful, in a tight tank-top and a short, short skirt of the 'you're under arrest for being indecently dressed' variety, what my fellow medical students used to call a "pussy pelmet"! 

As she saw me she shrieked and abandoned her luggage trolley to run full-tilt at me, smothering me with kisses as she hugged me until I thought my neck would break. I held her close to me, unable to believe I had her back, the gaping wound I was carrying around closing at her touch. Then she did something that nearly collapsed me in tears; she leaned back, and then gently kissed me once on each cheek, and once on my forehead.

"That was from mum and daddy, to let you know how much they love you!"

Lena grinned and thumbed my eyes dry.

"Don't do that, Darryl, big boys don't cry!" which made me laugh out loud, and spin her around in sheer delight for having her back with me.

"Let me look at you!" I told her, holding her at arm's length and whistling. "Yep, still gorgeous; oh, and pregnant as well! Wonder how that happened...?"

Lena reached down and surreptitiously tweaked my manhood.

"What have you done to me, you dirty, dirty man, my daddy warned me about people like you!" she grinned, and I was so happy to see her back to her old self; her time with mum and dad had obviously given her the closure she needed so desperately. Now she was back, and ready to go forward.

I returned the favour, squeezing her lovely firm little bum, re-acquainting myself with the curve of those ripe buttocks, and she grinned, leaning close to whisper in my ear;

"Take me home and fuck me, Darryl! Six weeks without you, I was nearly climbing the fucking walls! I have three holes, I want them all filled, you've got a dirty mind, let yourself go! Who knows, maybe you can put a little sister in there to keep our baby company!"

I had to grin.

"That's not actually possible, you do know that, right?" I whispered back, and grinned even wider at her cheeky smile.

"Just try, for my sake; call it medical curiosity! I want you to do things to me, I want to soak the bed, I want to drip spunk from every hole, I want you to make me scream like a banshee in an echo canyon, I want to fuck like a baboon on Meth! I've had six fucking weeks with no you, I'm knocked-up and too randy for words, what the hell are you waiting for, a gilt-edged invitation?"

Like I said before, when she's in full flow, there's no-one quite like Lena...

She ducked into the Ladies restroom, then walked down to the car park with her arm around my waist while I pushed her luggage trolley.

We piled her luggage into the car and drove out of the car park, heading along the Bridgewater Road to pick up the A370 and the A4 back to Clifton, a 20 minute drive in the middle of the afternoon, but Lena soon discovered how to make it seem ever so much longer. 

I was driving quite happily, casting the occasional glance at her lovely thighs as her short skirt rode up, when I noticed she was gradually pulling it up even higher, until I saw she had no panties on; that was why she'd ducked out back at the airport! 

I nearly crashed at that point, mesmerised as I was by the sight of that bare perfect little pussy staring at me. I tore my eyes way at the last second to avoid a giant Polish rig hammering down the road in the opposite direction, horn blaring, and locked eyes with her for a second to see the devilment there as she began stroking her thigh, her hand moving closer and closer to her honey-pot with every pass. 

I had to tear my eyes away and think of anything except her, or the suddenly restrictive seatbelt as my cock tried to wrestle its way out of my pants by sheer brute force. How we got home in one piece is still a mystery to me...

Lena helped me carry her luggage in, over my protests that she was in no condition to go lugging suitcases around.

"Nonsense, Dar, I'm turning into a mother, not a cream-cake, stop fussing and get your clothes off!" was all I got out of her, so I complied, inspired by the sight of her as she stripped of the minimal clothing she was wearing. When we were both naked, Lena took me by the hand and led me upstairs to my old room, then climbed onto the bed and posed for me, a sight guaranteed to further stiffen everything that needed to be stiff right now.

"Come on Darryl, show me how much you missed me!" she grinned.

I slid onto the bed next to her, kissing her to reassure myself that she really was here. I'd been dreaming about this moment for weeks, now there was no need to rush things, she was back, and she wasn't going anywhere any time soon. Lena responded enthusiastically, kissing me with a depth and vigour I'd missed so much when she was gone. 

She broke away to kiss my neck, and push me back down onto the bed as she kissed down my chest, nipping my nipples as she passed and making me gasp at the sudden sensation. She carried on south, to kiss and gently lick the tip of my solidly erect cock before kissing down the shaft to my balls. Lena fondled my scrotum, gently massaging them in their sac, licking and rubbing with her tongue before gently sucking one at a time into her mouth, 'tea-bagging' me properly, the way it should be done, and nearly making my hair stand on end. 

After rolling my seeds around in her mouth for a little, she released them and kissed her way back up the shaft to my head, licking the tip again before throwing her leg over my midriff and pointing her pussy at me.

"Off you go, baby, you know what I want!" she grinned, and I was more than happy to lick and suck her puffy little muffy. I took a double handful of her hot, perfect little backside, pulling the cheeks apart so I could admire the scenery before plating her with a few well-placed licks and enjoy the taste of her after so long. 

Lena was in a world of her own, gently sucking and licking my sensitive cock head, so I concentrated on probing between her already swollen labia, pushing my tongue between them to find the delicate space inside. Lena groaned as I did that, the vibration against my cock extremely stimulating, and I had to stop for a few seconds to regain control; I didn't want to go off before I'd finished pleasuring my girl. 

All calmed down again, I licked her from her clitoris to her pink little anus with the flat of my tongue, making her dance around on top of me with every stroke, and redouble her slurping and sucking on my own sex-toy she was so busily playing with. The more I licked her the more she wriggled and thrust back against me, and when I rubbed my tongue-tip against her clitoris in a criss-cross pattern, she began to orgasm, really going off when I jammed my tongue into her tight little anus. A spray of hot liquid gushed over my neck and chin as she orgasmed like a tidal wave, screaming around my cock. That did it for me, and I flooded her mouth as I came in long spurts of semen, six weeks' worth of frustration, need, and longing unleashed into her hot, willing mouth, the feeling almost turning me inside out as I emptied into her, groaning out loud as I did so. Lena squeezed my balls as I came, the added stimulation wringing even more spurts of semen out of me, making me come like I'd never come before, filling her mouth almost too fast for her to swallow.

She slumped down on me, her body trembling and twitching as the aftershocks flowed and ebbed through her, never letting go of my hard, still achingly erect penis, the stimulation of her warm little hand wrapped around me all I needed to stay hard and ready for more. Lena rolled off me and clambered around to lie next to me, her elbow on the pillow next to me, her head resting on her hand, and her other hand clasped firmly about my still-hard cock.

"So Dar, looks like you have unfinished business; want to let me in on it?" she grinned, giving me a squeeze and a shake, slapping my erect penis against my belly.

I couldn't resist her, and made a grab for her, pulling her on top of me to lie with her knees on either side of my midriff, my hands clasping her bum cheeks tightly. We kissed and played for a few minutes, reconnecting after our time apart, re-discovering the simple pleasure of holding and touching each other as we kissed. 

Eventually, other needs started to make themselves felt; Lena began slowly rolling her belly against mine, the motion squeezing my erect cock deliciously, maddeningly, and making me gasp as she looked on with that sly smile on her face. I dug my fingers into her bum and pulled the cheeks apart, repaying her by making her gasp in turn. She got the message, and lifted her pelvis momentarily to allow my cock to spring upright, then took hold of it to rub the head teasingly over her sticky little juice-box. 

I also got the message, pressing forward to slide into her, hissing with the pleasure of feeling her tightness around me again; if I hadn't already come once, I'd probably have come there and then. Lena sighed as I slid into her, pushing herself upright to sit astride me, my cock buried all the way inside her. She began rolling her hips, for all the world like a slow-motion bull-rider in a Texas bar, her fingertips tweaking and squeezing her nipples as she grinned challengingly at me. I slid my hands up to cup and squeeze her breasts, flicking her nipples with my thumbs as I squeezed them, keeping her on a slow simmer as she rode me so well, feeling the grip and squeeze of her pussy as she clenched and relaxed her pelvic floor muscles. 

She began to speed up, her thrusts against me becoming more of a grind as she rubbed herself against me as she rocked back and forth. She leaned down to lie on my chest, kissing me as she continued to rub herself against me, her breathing becoming irregular and shallow, and I was able to thrust back into her further now that she wasn't doing all the work. We humped and pumped against each other, reaching for that moment, our heart-rates rising in tune with our arousal, Lena's eyes beginning to glaze as she ground and pumped harder and harder against me.

She came in a series of waves, her pussy pulsating around me as she orgasmed, a flood of warmth pouring out of her to soak my balls and the bed underneath me. That was enough to drive me over the edge and join her, pumping long streams of spunk deep into the depths of her, spunk I didn't know I still had in me after the thundering orgasm she'd driven me to earlier, both of us groaning out loud in our extremity.

Lena lay back down on me, her body quivering with the intensity of her release, her breathing loud in the silence of the bedroom. Eventually her heartbeat slowed and her breathing became more regular, normalising as she calmed down. She raised her head to grin sleepily at me.

"That's more like it! Thank you baby, that'll do for now, but you owe me for later; we haven't finished yet! I meant what I said at the airport, you've got a way to go yet!"

I grinned to myself; I knew exactly what she meant! I nudged her to stop her dropping off to sleep just yet.

"Baby, shall we go to bed? If you want to sleep, this bed's sort of cramped; there's a double-bed in the bedroom below, why don't we move there?"

Lena turned and cuddled up against me, yawning.

"I want this as our room, Dar; this is where we made our baby, in this little bed. I want to sleep in it with you again, I want to hold you close all night, and wake up in the morning with the early morning sun in my face, in here, please?"

How could I refuse her?

"Okay, sweetheart, this is our room from now on. Have a couple of hours rest, and I'll wake you up at six. I've got the night off, so I'm taking you out to dinner."

Lena mumbled something, slid her arm around me, and fell asleep almost immediately. I wasn't sleepy, so I lay there next to her, enjoying the feel of her, her warmth, the warm scent of her hair, her own delicate scent, that special, almost subliminal odour that told me 'This is Lena, she's right here!'

On the dot of six I licked the tip of her nose and kissed her eyelids, waking her as gently as I could

"Wakey-wakey little snorer, aren't you hungry?" I whispered in her ear.

Lena punched me in the ribs.

"I do not snore! And why did you have to wake me up? I was having the loveliest dream; it was about...about mum and daddy...and something, and now I'll never know how it turned out, thanks, Darryl!" 

I grinned and licked her nipples, making her sigh and wriggle, those delectable nipples dancing in the warm summer evening air.

"Ohhh, that's nice!" she smiled, "what else have you got for me?" she asked, her fingers lightly grazing my crotch.

"Princess, right now, what I'm thinking of doing to you would get me locked up in 49 countries, excommunicated in 27 of them, and burned at the stake in The Vatican, but it would be so worth it! The only down-side is that it would mean you'd have to eat dinner standing up, and that would just look strange!" I grinned back as her eyebrows went up, followed by the world's dirtiest grin.

"OK, take me to dinner, wine me, dine me, seduce me with good food and fine wine, young sir, do your worst, I'm ready for you! You still owe me, and I'm going to make you my man-slut, by hook or by crook!" she giggled, slipping out of bed to rummage in the closet for a towel. As she turned to leave the room, she paused in the doorway to run her hands over her perfect, sculpted buttocks, squeezing and pulling them open for a second for me to glimpse the pink treasure nestling deep between them, a naughty, pixie grin on her face, before blowing me a kiss and slipping away down the corridor to the main bathroom.




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 03



Dinner was good, steaks and lobster at a nice little restaurant at the bottom of Park Street, just off College Green, and afterwards we took a walk across the Green to stroll outside the floodlit cathedral, looking, as we had done since we were kids, for the bullet scars and sword cuts in the statues of saints and royalist effigies from when Cromwell's men had defaced the 'blasphemous' effigies carved on the outer precincts of the medieval cathedral walls and porches during the English Civil War in the 17th Century. 

I'd forgotten how much there was to see in my home town, or how much history had originated there; just around the corner from the cathedral was the quay where John Cabot set sail to discover Newfoundland, the first European to set foot on mainland North America, outside the church built by The Merchant Venturer's, and a few hundred yards away was the Red Maid's School, the oldest girl's school in England, dating back to the early 17th century; when I was younger, they still wore the red dresses and Red-Riding Hood capes that gave them their name. 

Back up at the top of Park Street was the 16th century Queen Elizabeth Hospital School, a Tudor mansion housing the Bluecoat school, the choristers and senior boys still dressed in 17th century navy-blue frock coats, snowy-white neck stocks and Navy-blue knee britches with silver buttons at the knee, with mustard stockings and silver-buckle shoes, looking as though they'd just stepped out of a Van Dyck painting. 

Just along from the Green was Welsh Back, an 18th century cobbled quay on the River Avon, with the Llandoger Trow, an almost untouched 18th century inn, where Robert Louis Stevenson used to drink, on the wall a portrait of the original landlord, 'Long' John Silver, or another old inn, 'The Hole in the Wall,' so called because it was used for smuggling brandy and lace past the Customs men waiting on the quay above...

All this came back to me in a rush, the medieval history and Regency elegance of my home town washing over me, the princes, pirates, dandies, hero's and highwaymen who'd all made Bristol what it was in the days of Empire, and I was suddenly immensely glad I'd come home, even if it had to be like this.

Lena understood why I had to reconnect with my home, and it was she who led me from place to place around the city centre and Clifton, our conversation peppered with 'do you remember...do you remember...' as I grounded again, connecting and remembering how good life had been here, how much my family loved living here, and our roots and deep connections with this city; I had focused so intently on London in my job-hunting before, thinking it offered all the answers, I had forgotten that my home town had just as much, and maybe more, to offer; it would be a good place for our child to grow up, this child and all the others I hoped would follow.

When we got back indoors, I was in the frame of mind Lena had been hoping for; she was back, and mum and dad were fine, in the place they needed to be, we were having a baby, we had our own home that no-one could take from us, and I had a good job. Everything was finally falling into place; even though the one thing I wanted most in the world was not going to happen, weighed against all the good things we had, it was not such a bad trade. Dad was doing it his way, and while I wasn't exactly doing cartwheels with joy over it, I knew and understood that this was how it had to be, this was how he wanted it to be, and we had no say in it. I was feeling distinctly mellow by the time we reached home, especially as we had a rather special dessert planned... 

Lena bustled about in the kitchen, making coffee while I drew all the curtains and checked all the doors and windows were locked, a ritual I replayed from childhood days. We retired to the big couch in the living room, me with my feet up on the coffee table, Lena sitting curled-up next to me, her head on my shoulder as she told me about mum and dad, their home, how dad was. Lena was encouraged; he seemed to be a lot better, adapting well to the dry summer heat, his respiratory distress seemed to have backed down quite significantly, and he was a lot more mobile these days. I was glad, but wistful; I wanted my dad, and mum, it didn't feel right to be lording it around in their house while they lived in a pokey little place in a small village and waited for dad to die, but this was what they wanted; they were making sure their kids always had a roof over their heads, how could I fault them for that?

We talked about various things, my job, the rest of the family, eventually coming to us and what we were going to do next. I knew what I wanted; Lena, pure and simple. The six weeks she was gone were the longest, loneliest days of my life, far worse than the days immediately after the family had dropped me off at Student Halls and driven away, and I knew I would never let that happen again; she belonged with me, and I belonged with her, to the bitter end. Wherever she went from now on, I was going too, she was part of me now, and I needed to have her with me, and the empathy we shared told me she felt exactly the same way about me. Our conversation soon shifted to the non-verbal. Her lips had never tasted sweeter or more desirable that when I held her close and kissed her like there was no ending possible in this world or the next. She had taken over my heart, my life, and my world, imprisoning me in turn in her heart, and I was never so glad to be in such total captivity.

Gradually we worked our way from kissing to more serious touching and caressing, our kisses punctuated by the occasional giggle, gasp, or soft moan. We surfaced long enough to decide that we needed a bed for what we wanted to do, so we made our way up to the master bedroom on the first floor, losing our clothes along the way. 

Once in the bedroom, I was able to admire my girl again, to drink in the sight of her naked body, tall, lithe, perfectly formed, her breasts crowned with tempting pink nipples, already beginning to darken as her body changed to nurture the life growing inside her. Her long glossy black hair was even longer now, brushing the small of her back as it tumbled down to contrast perfectly against her fair skin and vivid, cornflower-blue eyes.

My reaction to her was, as always, immediate and obvious, and her eyes twinkled as she took me in hand, her grip warm and achingly sensual against my throbbing cock.

"I told you earlier, you owe me, Darryl Morgan, and I always collect! You know what I want, I've been waiting weeks for this, do it to me, make me scream!"

I held her to me as we kissed, my painfully hard erection pressed up against her soft white belly, pressing against that place our baby was beginning its life, and the thought of that made me want her even more, arousal blazing through me as I stiffened even more. As I backed her toward the bed, she squeezed and rubbed me, thrills running up and down my spine at the exquisite torture of her hands on me. I backed her up to the bed and turned, meaning to pull her down on top of me, but she got there first, grinning impishly as she pushed me over, to land on top of me, her legs straddling me as her wetness rubbed along the length of my aching cock.

She grinned again, biting her lip as she began to rub herself more deliberately along me, her hot pussy dragging up and down the length of my cock, driving me crazy as she coated me with her juices, her breathing becoming ragged and uneven as she worked herself up. At last, she raised up and took hold of me, aiming me as she slowly lowered herself down onto me, impaling herself on me. My cock felt bigger that it had ever felt in my life, and I could have sworn it was longer than the seven or so inches I knew it was, I was so worked-up by the thought of what we were doing here. 

As she lowered herself onto me, Lena hissed in satisfaction, gasping as I slid deeply into her. When I was all the way in, she began to rock and gyrate her hips, rolling herself up and down on me, pleasuring herself while her pussy squeezed and released me in time to her movements, alternately sucking and relaxing its hold on me. 

She gasped as she climaxed, her pussy squeezing me rapidly as she convulsed, her hands resting on my chest as the waves of orgasm rushed and surged through her, until she slumped down on me, her heart beating rapidly and her pulse fluttering in the hollow of her throat. I thought she'd passed out, she lay so still on me, then she pushed herself upright and grinned down at me.

"You're not finished yet, Darryl, we have unfinished business!" she smiled, squeezing my cock again as she slowly rocked on top of me. Without warning, she sat upright and raised up, letting my cock pull out with an almost audible pop, and taking hold of it, began to rub her vulva, her perineum, and the tight pucker of her back hole, slowly working my head into her anus, using her own vaginal juices and the clear liquid running out of my cock to lubricate and ease my penetration. She worked the head in until the ring snapped around the shaft, giving a loud, gasping "Oh!" as it popped in past her barrier, then gasping softly as she slowly slid down me, burying me to the hilt in her hot, tight, sinewy rectum.

The pressure on my cock was unbelievable, part of me wanting it to go on forever, another part wanting to just come and keep coming endlessly, flooding her with my spunk. As she rode me, I began to push back against her, fucking her tightest hole as she ground away on me, her rectum squeezing and massaging my cock delightfully.

The end was quick in coming; I'd been too long without her, and the sheer sexual charge of what we were doing here, the smell and closeness of her, all of it was too much to contain, and I came in what felt like endless jets of spunk bulleting out of me and deep into her, bathing her insides with my essence, and triggering her own massive, shuddering orgasm. 

We shook and quivered together, gasping and sobbing in the intensity of our release, gradually descending from that peak into the calm on the other side, to lie in each other's arms, bathed in sweat, but sated, fulfilled, completed. As my erection abated, I slowly slid from her, Lena pulling herself against me to once again nip me lightly, teasingly on the chin, her own signature gesture, thanking me and letting me know she was back at last, this time forever.

We woke early, the late summer sunshine flooding golden and bright into the airy room through the tall, elegant Georgian window, reminding me of my childhood, of the last days of the summer holiday before school resumed. I had the day off, in fact I had several days off, and I planned to spend them all drinking in the delight that was Lena, revelling in having her back with me again, and sorting out our plans for this house now that a new life was starting here, both for us and for our baby. Lena was the first to move, breaking the chain of reverie I was indulging in, stroking my face as she kissed me 'good morning'.

I started to get up, prompting her to ask where I was going.

"To make breakfast, baby girl; I don't know about you, but I need a shower, then a meal; we used up a lot of energy last night, I'm feeling the need to feed!" I grinned, admiring her nakedness in the bright golden sunshine; she really was spectacular, and I asked myself how I could have missed seeing her all the days of our lives together. I smiled as I thought what she'd resorted to in order to open my eyes to what had been under my nose the whole time. As I contemplated how beautiful she was, her eyes widened and her mouth watered, making her clamp her mouth shut as she scrambled out of bed and dashed into the family bathroom along the corridor, from where I heard the sounds of someone being noisily sick. I decided to use the smaller en-suite shower in the bedroom rather than disturb Lena in her morning prayers to the porcelain God.

I resisted the urge to offer her something to counter the morning-sickness; the horror and heartache of the Thalidomide catastrophe was forever imprinted in my brain, and that of every other doctor in the UK; she'd just have to live with it until it ran its course.

The shower was invigorating, hot and sharp, almost stinging me with the force of the spray, the way I'd always liked it. I was deep in contemplation of what I was going to do now that fatherhood was looming when the bathroom door edged open and Lena slid in, opening the shower cubicle door and stepping in without comment, turning down the pressure on the shower unit and grinning at me as she handed me the gel.

"Back please, Dar, then I'll do yours!"

I was more than happy to oblige, Lena has lovely skin, and any excuse to touch, rub or fondle it was a treat for me. She sighed as I soaped her back, not forgetting her marvellous little bottom, my hands lingering over the elegant globes, squeezing and kneading them for the delight in holding and running my hands over those firm fleshy orbs, before moving round to the front, slowly soaping her stomach, then moving up to catch and squeeze her breasts, listening to her gasp as I flicked her nipples, then lower, until my fingers slipped and slid over the lips of her pussy.

"No Dar, not unless you mean it...ooohhh!" she groaned as I slowly rubbed her hooded clitoris, one hand playing with and gently rubbing her vulva while the other wandered up to squeeze and pull her nipples. My cock was getting hard against her, already pressing into the valley between her glorious cheeks. I rubbed more insistently, feeling her labia swell as she began to get aroused again, her own hand joining mine in touching pressing, slipping in and out, teasing her as she stood against me.

By now my cock was at full stretch, something she appreciated as she wriggled her backside against me, checking the feel of me slotted between her cheeks. I could feel her grinning even though she had her back to me, years of knowing each other's moods from tiny little clues came into play; the tilt of the head, the set of the shoulders, a multitude of subliminal clues, and right now she was grinning as she waited for Act Two. I obliged, slipping another finger into her, rubbing the two of them in and out of her as I squeezed and tugged at her nipples, drawing little gasps and sighs from her. I could feel the juices gathering at her entrance, and smell the excitement as her arousal rose higher, the scent enticing and stimulating, making me want to do more than just touch this beautiful girl who was having my baby.

Lena sensed where I was going, and slowly turned to face the wall of the cubicle, leaning against it as she pushed out her rump invitingly at me.

"There you are, Dar, do it like this, I want you to do it like this!" she murmured.

I was only too happy to oblige! I positioned her carefully, holding her by her hips as I slowly slid into her, her breath hissing as I filled her. She put her hands flat against the tiled wall and braced herself as I began to thrust into her, pushing back against me with every thrust into her, to take as much of me into her as she could. 

The feel of her clasping me gently as I thrust into her was a powerful inducement to just letting go and flooding her with my spunk, but I held on, waiting for her to climax; I wanted her to get as much out of this as I did, plus being naughty in the shower was huge fun! As I slid in and out of her, I felt her hand as she reached down to rub herself in time to my pumping, and the pumping and rubbing, the sound of our breathing magnified in the confines of the cubicle, and the feel of her beautiful firm breasts and bullet-hard nipples against the palms of my hands as I squeezed and kneaded them, all combined to pull me remorselessly to the point of no return. 

Just as I thought I couldn't hold out any longer, Lena began to shake against me, her breathing ragged and harsh as she moaned out loud, and then her pussy clamped down around me as she orgasmed with a loud, hissing moan and a series of shudders that pushed me over the edge. I pulled her tight to me by her breasts as I pumped and sprayed what felt like gallons of semen deep into her fluttering pussy, each pulsing squeeze of her tight pussy drawing another powerful spurt of sperm from my rigid cock. My eyesight dimmed as my eyes slitted, and my ears popped as the huge climax emptied me out, my body clenching inside with the need to pour more of myself into her, the force and intensity of it nearly turning me inside out. I had never come so hard before; only Lena was capable of drawing such pleasure from my body and returning it to me like this.

I slumped to my knees, utterly drained, my head roaring with the intensity of my orgasm and its aftermath, and Lena slid down to kneel and lean against me, her chest heaving as we waited under the spraying shower jets for strength and coordination to return, and for the clamour in my head to subside.

Lena was the first to recover.

"Holy Fuck, Batman, what was that!?" she grinned, and I could only grin and shake my head in reply, still too winded for speech. "I'm going to ambush you more often, if this is what I get!"

I had recovered enough to pull her against me, the feel of her warm, wet, slick body against mine and her full, soft lips brushing mine an affirmation of her reality, that she really was here with me, that she really was home again, this time for good, and we were together, the two of us and that tiny spark of life even now taking shape deep inside her.

I don't know how long we sat there, exploring each other, not arousing, just feeling and re-acquainting ourselves with the shape and feel and texture of each other's bodies. I was enthralled with her body and the way she moved, the way her breasts jiggled slightly, breathtakingly, whenever she moved, the spare elegance of her flanks, the muscles flexing and stretching like a dancer's. I was suddenly aware, too, of the texture of her hair, apparently so thick and coarse, in reality fine, soft and glossy, the threads like strands of spider-silk, of her limbs, slim and coltish, but still rounded, feminine, desirable. 

My eyes drank in the rounded allure of her perfect backside, the way the twin globes twitched and switched as she walked, the shadowed cleft between them, and the sheer innocent allure of her shaven sex, the labia womanly and tempting. I could have contemplated her nakedness all day, but other appetites were calling, and so, reluctantly, we exited the shower cubicle, wrapping bath towels around ourselves and towelling off each other's hair.

I had just finished dressing in cargo pants, Reeboks and an army surplus UBACS shirt with the sleeves cut off when the doorbell rang. I looked out of the window in the upstairs hallway to see if I could identify the caller, but all I could tell was that it was a woman, one I didn't know. Lena hadn't made an appearance yet, nor was she likely to, so I tramped downstairs to answer the door.

When I opened the door, the woman, who was probably in her early forties, smiled and looked me up and down.

"Hello," she smiled, "is this the Morgan residence?"

I looked at her curiously.

"Can I help you?" I asked her, and her smile faltered, her eyes widening.

"Oh my God, you...you're Darryl!"

I nodded, wondering how she could know that. I had to find out.

"How did you know my name? I asked her, surprised to see her eyes shining with unshed tears.

"My name is Emma North, but when I lived in Clifton, a few doors away, my name was Fraser..."

That name sounded familiar; where had I heard that before? I was racking my brain, when suddenly the answer hit me. The night I'd found out dad was actually my grandfather, that his daughter, Elizabeth, was my birth mother, he'd told me my actual father was...Robert Fraser. All this passed through my mind in a split second, in the meantime this...Emma person was watching me closely.




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 04



My thanks to Mriceman1964 for his help, advice, his eye for reality and plausibility, and his willingness to argue over the story, which keeps me focussed, I have to admit!

Many thanks also to Bonnie for her sharp questions and further reality checking me, long may you keep doing it, Princess!

As I've said before, this is a story, not real-life, just my version, an alternate reality where things can happen the way I want them to, so feel free to immerse yourself in my universe;(although, if quantum physicists are to be believed, somewhere in the limitless reaches of possibility there is a universe where this has already happened, exactly as I've described it...) so go ahead, dip in a toe or two, who knows, you might just enjoy the water. FYI The places I mention are real; I've either lived there or worked there, and I know them well. 

As before, if you liked it, please rate it, if you didn't, please tell me why

Happy Reading!

BB1958

___________________________________

I arrived home at 6 p.m. expecting to see Lena dressed, prepped and ready for fun; we were going out to dinner, then we were going to a club, or at least that was the plan; instead I found her pacing and muttering, nervous, edgy, and irritable.

I hugged her close, fondling her taut little bum cheeks as I nuzzled her, as per usual, but she was tense and tightly drawn, her body humming with nervous energy.

"What's the problem, Princess?" I asked, conscious that this kind of tension was definitely not good for the baby.

She looked at me, her eyes troubled, and almost afraid, which put me on alert; Lena is fearless, outspoken, and not afraid of a confrontation, so something serious was up.

"Dar, it's Lizzie...she's on her way over...with the children!" she blurted out, her expression almost afraid.

"What if they don't like me, what if they find out about...you know...us? What are we going to tell them, how on Earth are we going to explain it? Dar, I'm scared, I'm scared of some kids, I'm scared they'll hate us, Dar what am I supposed to do? Tell me!"

I grinned over her shoulder; Lena had never been uncertain or unsure in her entire life, and now she was scared of a pair of kids? It was too much! I rubbed her back, feeling the muscles knotted and strained under my hands, so I began squeezing and gently massaging those knots and tense muscles, slowly relaxing her as she held onto me, her face buried in my shoulder. Eventually, she slumped against me, giving a gusty sigh as she relaxed, her muscles relaxed and un-knotted as some of the fear and apprehension drained away.

"There, feel better now?" I asked her, smiling as she leaned against me and kissed my ear.

"Much better, thank you baby!" she murmured, her fingers idly toying with the buttons on my shirt. She leaned back to grin at me, her eyes calm and unworried, her expression normal as she regained her balance.

"I meant what I said, though; what are we supposed to do if they ask about us, you and me and little Morgan in here?" she grinned, tapping her midriff lightly.

I grinned at her expression.

"We tell them exactly what we said we would; that I'm your boyfriend, Emma's nephew, and that you're Lizzie's younger sister, that's all they need to know for now. I'm not sure how they'll react if we just blurt out that Lizzie's actually my mother, because I still haven't worked out yet just how the hell this baby is related to them! Occam 's razor, baby, 'the simplest explanation is the one most likely to be true' as my physics teacher used to tell us, so for now, little Morgan-baby is their new first cousin, which is true, sort of; later on, if it seems appropriate, we'll tell them the truth, but for now, just the simple version, okay?"

Lena smiled back at me, happy to be reassured.

"Okay Dar, just the simple version for now, got it!"

She began bustling about, picking up and rearranging cushions, moving ornaments and putting them back, keeping herself occupied. The doorbell rang, and I jumped up to answer the door.

"Showtime, Lena, are you ready?"

Lena just looked up from her fiddling with the ornaments on the mantelpiece.

"It's not Lizzie; too early. I asked Aunt Doreen to come over, that'll be her now. Let her in, Dar, chop-chop, don't leave her standing out there!"

I opened the door and there was my favourite aunt. I felt a little guilty seeing her; while Lena had been away I'd immersed myself in my work, keeping myself busy, and consequently had hardly spoken to Doreen in weeks, but her smile was the same, and she showed no sign of annoyance at my ignoring her. I suppose it was the little boy in me, but whenever my Aunt Doreen was around, I felt safe and secure; she was one of my most enduring symbols of family, and I loved her dearly. She handed me her light jacket and walked on into the sitting room, Lena immediately hugging her warmly; Min may have been Lena's favourite aunt, but Doreen had a special place in her heart too, and I could see her relaxing as Doreen embraced her.

"Sit down, child, you're supposed to be resting now; let Darryl do the running around, he's big and ugly enough to do for himself, you need to take care of yourself and that baby!" 

She grinned at me as she said it, and I couldn't help but grin back; being twitted by Aunt Doreen was as much a part of my childhood as Lena, or school, or mum and dad.

I left them huddled together on the couch as I went to put the kettle on; Doreen was an inveterate tea-drinker, and I'd been making tea for her since I was eight or nine years old, so I knew just how she liked it. As I was busying myself in the kitchen warming the teapot and measuring out the tea, the doorbell rang again. Even in the kitchen I heard Lena's sudden gasp. I smiled to myself and went to answer the door, knowing she'd be a bag of nerves all over again.

When I opened the door, Lizzie was standing there, and I could see Emma shepherding the children from the car. Even from a distance, I was struck by how much the girl (Allie, her name was Allie, remember that, I told myself...) resembled Lena; apart from the different hair colour, they could have been the same girl at that age, a leggy, coltish 12-year old, all knees and skinny arms and legs, but a dead-ringer for Lena nevertheless. The little boy had dad's expression, that slightly bemused, good-humoured upward curve to his mouth, the same features, the same eyes. I stared in wonder; there stood my dad almost 60 years ago.

I ushered them all in, Lizzie and Emma both kissing my cheek, Allie shaking hands with me, her eyes roving across my features, then flicking over Emma's, and the little boy, Marcus, gravely shaking hands with me as I introduced myself. I led them into the sitting room, Lena's expression somewhere between terror and longing as her gaze fell on those two children, her eyes widening as she took in the little boy's features. Lizzie smiled reassuringly at her.

"Hello Lena, thank you for allowing us to come over at such short notice. Kids, this is Lena, remember, I told you about her. Lena's my little sister. Lena, this is Allie, and this," she put her hand on his shoulder, "is Marcus. Kids, say hello to your aunt."

Marcus waved shyly, and Allie grinned impudently.

"You've gotta be mum's sister, you look just like her; been hiding, have you?"

Lena grinned, her stage fright abandoning her.

"Hello Allie, yes, I really am your mum's sister; she left home before I was born, so I never knew her. I'm glad to meet you, though. And please, call me Lena!"

"Hello Lillibet!" said a soft voice from the other side of the room; everyone had been so intent on this first meeting that we'd forgotten Aunt Doreen was there, keeping well back.

Lizzie spun round, her eyes wide, tears suddenly brimming in them.

"Dodo? Oh my God, Dodo, I'd...It's...Oh Dodo, I missed you so much, please...!" she breathed, dissolving in tears, Doreen suddenly there to hold her as she sobbed into her shoulder. Lizzie hugged her tight, Doreen murmuring to her while she patted her back and stroked her hair, soothing her and fishing out a hanky for her to wipe her eyes and blow her nose. When Lizzie had calmed down, Doreen held her at arm's length and looked her up and down.

"Look at you, Lillibet, all grown-up, a mother, and so beautiful; I missed you so much, Lillibet, more than I can say! I've waited so long to see you, and now here you are, and your beautiful children as well. I missed you, sweetheart, more than you can understand, I thought I'd lost you forever, I prayed for you to come home, and now you have!" she dabbed at her eyes, just as Lena was doing, and I nearly was as well.

Lizzie urged the two children forward.

"Allie, Marcus, this is my Auntie Dodo, she helped my dad bring me up, she was like my mum when I was growing up, I want you to say hello to her."

The children looked shyly at Doreen, obviously affected by their mother's emotional reunion with her aunt, not knowing quite what to say. Marcus broke the ice, holding out his hand.

"Hello Auntie Dodo, is that your real name?"

Doreen smiled at him as she shook hands with him. 

"No, Marcus, my name is Doreen, but you can call me Auntie Dodo if you want; that's what your mummy always called me." 

Marcus grinned at her, looking so much like dad it made my breath catch in my throat.

"I like that; my Auntie Dodo! My name is Marcus David Robert Daniels, and I'm nearly seven! You can call me Marcus, if you want."

Doreen smiled at him.

"How do you do, Marcus, I'm a lot older than seven, and I'm very pleased to meet you! And who's this?" she smiled, turning to Allie.

Allie grinned at her.

"I'm Alison, but everyone calls me Allie, and I'm nearly thirteen! Are you my granddad's sister? Does that mean you're my Great-Aunt?"

Doreen smiled even wider at Allie's sharp inquisitiveness.

"You are so much like you mother when she was that age, it's almost like having her back again! Your mother grew up here, in this house, your grandfather and I, and your other aunt, my sister Minnie, helped bring her up from when she was just a baby. She went to school just down the road there, with her friend Emma, and yes, I recognised you too, Emma Fraser, you haven't changed much either!"

Emma smiled at that, exchanging glances with Lizzie.

"I was wondering, Miss Morgan it's been a long time!"

I looked enquiringly at Doreen, who smiled back at me.

"Lillibet and Emma both went to the Cathedral Primary School where I was Headmistress, Emma and her sisters, Lillibet, and...." she broke off as she nearly mentioned Robert Fraser, before continuing "...and a lot of other people they both know, who still live around here!" 

Once the awkward moment passed, we sat down and chatted, Lena anxious to make some sort of connection with her nephew and niece, while I made tea, passed around fruit juice or fizzy drinks, biscuits, and generally acted as host while Lena's family connected. I was just congratulating myself on a successful afternoon when Allie caught my eye with her own sharp little eyes.

"So tell me something, Darryl; why do you look so much like Aunty Emma?" she asked shrewdly, so I told her.

"My father was Robert, Emma's older brother; I was...adopted, and didn't know until my adoptive parents told me. Emma's my aunt, too!"

Allie grinned at me. 

"So Lena and you are having a baby, and this baby will be my first cousin, right?" I nodded.

"So it'll also be Mum's niece, nephew, whatever, right?" I nodded again.

Allie leaned back and smiled.

"And it will also be Aunty Emma's what, Great-Niece or nephew? Wow, this family just got complicated! Anything else you want to tell me?" 

If only I could!

I grinned at her.

"Nope, nothing else to tell, now you know as much as I do!"

Marcus piped-up then.

"Mummy said you're a doctor; do you stick needles in people and cut them open?"

I had to grin, but I shook my head.

"Well, someone else sticks the needles in, but yes, I do the operations!"

The conversation went on in this vein for a while, the kids asking Lena and I surprisingly sharp questions about our lives, my job; Marcus, in keeping with every little boy, wanted to know all about the gory bits, but I kept those to a minimum. They were all a little shocked, I think when Lena asked if they could be free for a week, as we wanted to take them to Cyprus with us as soon as possible, like the end of the week?

Allie was excited, Marcus was incoherent, and Lizzie was brimming again at the thought of seeing dad again, and to be honest, so was I; I'd never felt their absence so keenly, even when I was away at medical school, at least then, mum and dad were only at the other end of 120 miles of motorway. Emma herded the kids out so Lena could talk with Lizzie, so I took the three of them to Veracchio's, a local gelato parlour, to try some of the best Italian ice cream in Clifton while Lena and Lizzie ironed out their plans. 

Emma and I talked more about Robert, telling me what he'd what he liked and disliked, his sense of humour, what he'd been like as a boy. I asked about him joining the Royal Marines, and a line appeared between her eyebrows.

"You've got me there, Darryl; none of us know what made him do it; Robbie was so quiet, gentle, and soft-spoken, it was a complete surprise, actually, it was a huge shock, when he announced he'd joined-up. Robbie was interested in art, in sketching, painting; he spent all his spare time drawing all sorts of things; birds, insects, cars passing the house, the other kids in the playground at school, and of course endless studies of Lizzie; I think he thought he was somehow letting dad down, that he wasn't being 'manly' enough or something, but I don't know where he got that from, certainly not from dad; dad was so proud of his ability. No-one in our family had ever been anything like that; they were always blue-collar working men, not a trace of artistic ability or inclination; Robbie was the first. When he went away to the Falklands, dad was convinced he wasn't coming back, and when he heard the news that he'd been killed, he just locked himself in his room and stayed there for days."

She stopped talking while she took a sip of her coffee, her eyes distant. 

"He never mentioned Robbie again after that, but then he hardly ever spoke again, and when he died, one of the things he'd requested in his will was that we collect all Robbie's drawings, sketches, paintings, everything, and bury them with him. When Lizzie heard the news of his death, she took all the sketches and paintings of her, everything Robbie'd ever done for her, and burned them, just so she'd never be reminded of him. She took his loss as hard as dad did, in her own way, which is why I never judged her; what do you do when the centre of your world is wrenched away from you? Lizzie chose to remove any reminder of it, to deny it ever existed, and I can't say I really blame her."

She paused to take another sip from her coffee, her eyes glittering with unshed tears. 

"I believed then, and I still believe now, that my dad died of a broken heart when that sniper took his son away, it just took a while for him to realise he was dead. Robbie was one of a kind, a gentle, sweet, generous boy, and when he was taken, something broke inside Lizzie as well; she'd owned him since he was six years old, he was always there, always in arm's reach; they always knew when the other needed them, they didn't even need to speak, they just knew what the other was thinking. I know Lizzie didn't want him to join-up, but she also knew it was something he thought he had to do. He was 20 the week he was killed; his mates on the ship even gave him a cake on the way down there. What a bloody waste that war was, all those boys killed, on both sides, for a couple of wind-blown, desolate islands in the middle of nowhere..."

Much as I tried to suppress it, I began to feel a connection and a strong surge of sympathy for this young man who'd fathered me and died before he ever saw me, and it made me feel guilty, as though I was being disloyal to dad; after all, he was the one who brought me up, in every way I could describe it, he was my dad, no-one else. 

Emma picked up on that conflict, and gently steered the conversation away from me and onto the rest of her family, telling me about my other aunts, and my cousins, in Australia and in London. I learned about the scandal surrounding my cousin Julie and the circumstances of her birth, and how Emma and her youngest sister had lost touch with Lois, the middle sister, the mother of Mark and Julie. As we chatted, it became obvious she missed her sister, and regretted not trying harder to keep in touch with her

"I wish I'd tried to locate her years ago, I know where she used to live, but the last time I went to London I went to the last address I had and it was a supermarket, the whole area was gone, 'redeveloped' they called it, even the street names had been changed. Mark would be about four years younger than you, you're what, nearly 26? So Mark would be about 22, and Julie would be maybe 18 or 19 now; I wish I'd been there to see her grow up; she needed so much, and got so little from Lois. I remember Mark, such a sweet little boy, bright golden hair, just like his father, and Julie, the last time I saw her she was just a baby, but she looked like a little angel; it's a pity Lois did what she did, and her husband just leaving like that didn't help one bit; I would have taken that little girl, and Mark, in a heartbeat; but she was adamant; Mark stayed with her, and Julie, too, even though she hated her. I often wondered what she did with that little girl, she didn't want her, she hated her, but she wouldn't give her up for adoption or let me take her. Lois always was a difficult girl, and, well..."

She took a sip of her coffee, her eyes far away.

"I used to wonder how Julie grew up in a house where no-one loved her; Mark was just a little boy, and Lois just kept him around, she never once treated him like anything except a thing, something to keep around the house; she hated Julie though; it puzzled me how it was possible for a mother to hate her own child so, but she never harmed her or neglected her, so I couldn't even report her, Social Services would have found nothing, Lois was careful about that, oh yes! It was perfectly alright for her to have an affair, get pregnant, and expect her husband to claim the baby as his own; then, when he decided he couldn't, she blamed that poor little girl; she should have looked in the mirror instead!"

She sighed and drained her coffee, signalling for another one.

"I do wonder where that poor little girl is now. I hope she's happy; she was such a sweet, lovely-natured little baby; she had bright golden hair, almost white, it was so fair; she looked like a little golden haired cherub, and she had the biggest, most beautiful, bright green eyes; it makes me so sad to think she must have had a bloody miserable childhood with Lois always breathing down her neck. If I'd known where they were I'd have gone and tried to take her away, and that poor boy too; I can't even imagine what kind of a life they must have had! It's always troubled me that I didn't do enough to get those children away from Lois; I loved her dearly, but she had a mean streak and a nasty side to her tongue, and so much anger in her; she had it in her to hurt them one day, I just have to hope to God she didn't!" 

We strolled back to the house to find Lizzie, Aunt Doreen, and Lena wreathed in smiles; Lena had booked five return flights to Paphos for Saturday, three days away, returning the following Saturday, so as not to miss the first day of Christmas Term at school 

The kids weren't too happy about that; they'd been hoping for a little extra time off school, but they were getting a trip to Cyprus, so ultimately they were satisfied. Lena had then called mum and told her, but asked her to keep it a surprise that Lizzie and the kids were coming with us. Apparently, Mum had gotten quite teary; even though she wasn't Lizzie's mother, she'd had a small part in bringing her up, and had been as heartbroken as dad when she'd disappeared; obviously we didn't know this, I got it all later from Lena after the visitors had left.




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 04



After a few more plans and instructions, Lizzie and Emma herded the kids back to the car leaving Doreen, Lena and me feeling blown and out of breath, but very happy; I was going to see mum and dad in a few days, superb. We talked for a while, making plans for when we got to Cyprus, and, as it was getting late, I ran Doreen home before stopping off to order and collect a Hawaiian pizza, a weakness of Lena's, to make up for not being able to take her out to dinner. 

After supper we talked, about the trip, how we were going to react when we saw dad again; Lena had only come home two days ago, but I hadn't seen dad and mum in weeks, and I was dying to see them again; I suppose it was knowing they were so far away, in another country rather than just up the road; I'd certainly gone longer without a home visit when I was still a student. We chatted in his vein for a while, until at last Lena stood up.

"Come on you; we've made plans, we've met the family, and we've had dinner; now I want to play!"

I grinned; as always, she'd cut right to the heart of what I'd been thinking for the last little while; I'd been getting that stirring that meant other appetites were awakening, thoughts of her crowding in close, the thought of sliding that summer dress off her definitely taking precedence!

After the usual routine of checking all the doors and windows, I followed her upstairs, entranced by the switch of her tight little bum under that short dress as she tripped lightly up the stairs. I detoured into the bathroom to quickly brush my teeth, then followed her it the bedroom, to find her stretched out on the bed, still fully dressed, a small, happy smile on her lips.

"Come here, Darryl, I want to ask you something!" she smiled, so of course I did, dropping down to stretch out next to her, my hand on her hip where I could squeeze and knead her as we talked.

"Ask away, princess, I am yours to command!" I grinned, taking full advantage of my position to pull her a little closer.

"Tell me truthfully, Dar; what did you think of Allie and Marcus?" she asked, almost anxiously.

I grinned at her.

"Hard to tell really, I was too busy watching that little boy almost swooning over his beautiful young aunt! I think you've made a serious conquest there; he was in a haze the whole time, he couldn't take his eyes off you! I might just have to poke him away from you with a sharp stick next time we meet them!" 

Lena grinned and pulled me closer by my ear.

"And I suppose you didn't notice Allie staring adoringly at the handsome young doctor? I think someone has a major crush on you; apparently I have some competition for your affections!"

"Ouch! Touché!" I grinned. "Seriously, though, I think they fell for you big time! I just couldn't take my eyes off Marcus; he's so much like dad it's uncanny!"

Lena nodded. 

"I was thinking the same thing; you know, perhaps when he's gone it won't be so bad, not now we know there's so much of him still here, in those two kids. When mum sees them she's going to flip, you do know that, right? She's going to go seriously Grandma on them, and I don't blame her; I felt like biting them a little myself! Whatever else Lizzie did, she got it right with them; your little sister and baby brother are utterly adorable!"

I reached out and squeezed her a little more seriously.

"Their hot aunt isn't too bad either..." I whispered, Lena grinning and pulling herself closer to me.

"You say the nicest things; is this your bedside manner then, Doctor Morgan, or are you just trying to seduce me?"

I slid the zipper down at the back of her dress as I nibbled her neck and kissed her throat.

"I just want to get you naked so I can check all your bits, you know, check they're all there, all working, it's a standard procedure all us doctor's follow... "

Lena grinned at me as I continued.

"I prefer to think of it as a very thorough check-up, one that should be done at least once a day, preferably more, do you concur, Miss Morgan?"

Lena twinkled at me as she began shrugging off her dress.

"Only if you promise me some babies like those two -- one who looks like you, and one who looks like me at the very least, so keep taking the vitamins, I intend to work you hard, mister!"

I nuzzled her neck as my hand roamed around her, touching, caressing, squeezing, holding, convincing myself all over again that Lena was here, with me, and it was real, she was real.

"What're you thinking, Dar?" she whispered, noticing my preoccupied look, and I nibbled her gently.

"I was thinking that one baby isn't enough, two babies will compete for attention, three, well, two will gang-up on the third, so we better have four, so they'll be evenly matched and they'll all have at least a fighting chance!"

Lena giggled at the thought.

"Four children, what do I look like, a Queen Bee? If you want four babies, you are going to have to do some serious spadework, Doctor Darryl Morgan, why, you'll just be working all the time to support such a large family, I can't let you do that! Tell you what; let's have this one first, then we can make more afterwards, we have time you know...!"

I grinned into her neck as I grazed there.

"Okay, Mummy-bee, it's a deal; have this little twig on the old family tree first, then we'll talk about some more after you've experienced the full glory of a screaming, howling, teething, drooling, up-chucking, red-faced little poo-factory; if the idea still appeals, we'll go for it!" 

Lena smiled at my description of babies, knowing I'd spent a year on the Paediatric High-Dependency Unit.

"You've just got a distorted perception, Dar, not all babies are demonic little puke-machines! MY baby will be well-behaved, mannerly, and will have an in-depth understanding of my need to sleep! And I know you, Darryl Morgan, you're just playing Devil's Advocate to try and trip me up; I know you want a houseful of children, you told me that not two minutes ago!" 

"Guilty, you got me, how do you want to punish me?" I grinned, and Lena responded by sliding her hand into my slacks and curling it around my best and most vulnerable friend.

"Get your clothes off, I want to play!" she growled, her hand tightening ever so slightly. I took the hint, rolling away from her so I could unhitch my pants and pull my shirt off. A few seconds frantic wriggling and my clothes were in a puddle on the floor, and I was as naked as Lena, who slid herself closer to me, her hand still holding me, but now, as my cock slowly unfurled and inflated, the pressure from her hand was pleasurable, and as I lengthened and stiffened, she began to slide her hand slowly along my shaft, stiffening me even further.

"There, you see? All you needed was a little encouragement!" she giggled in my ear as I reached for her, holding her firm, squeezable bum cheek tightly as I dipped down to nuzzle her stiff nipples.

Lena sighed as I licked and sucked, her nipples becoming much more sensitive even now, in such an early stage of her pregnancy. She squeezed and rubbed my cock as I suckled on her, both of us becoming more aroused by the second. One thing I'd noticed; since she'd come back, I couldn't stop thinking about her, couldn't stop smelling her, she smelled so good, and everything about her lit fires down below that I could barely keep damped-down; a remote part of me knew exactly what was going on here; the pregnancy pheromones she was giving off in great billowing gusts were affecting me, primitive instincts were taking over my perception of her; she was my mate, and I had to protect and isolate her from other males so I could keep mating with her, to make sure it was my child she carried. I knew this intellectually, a couple of the professors at medical school had touched on this phenomenon, but now I was experiencing it at first hand; she was driving me crazy with need for her, and all I was interested in was the fact that I wanted to fuck her every chance I got; Lena, as a good and dutiful partner, raised no objections whatsoever...

Lena still had her panties on, a tiny, lacy little thing, but she'd left them on because she knew how much I liked sliding them off her, the thrill I got from slowly sliding them down her satiny thighs, over her calves and off...try it sometime, you'll love it, believe me!

As I slipped my hands into the back of her panties, squeezing and pulling her cheeks apart, Lena groaned and pulled herself even closer to me, rubbing my erect cock against the damp silk-covered lips of her seeping pussy, and the feel of her mound as it rubbed against me was almost too much for me. Now I had to see, touch and taste that concealed treasure, and as I began kissing and licking my way down her body, Lena smiled in anticipation of what was coming. I continued down, sliding down the bed as I kissed her navel, letting my tongue linger in there for a few seconds, knowing how much she liked the feel of me licking inside there, before once more kissing and gently licking until at last I reached my goal. Lena groaned as I nipped her labia through her panties, pulling the delicate flesh between my lips through the damp and fragrant material of her panties.

"Ooooh Darryl, stop it, don't , please, properly please, baby, ooohh!" she muttered as I licked her through her panties, teasing and gently tormenting her, knowing how much she liked to play, and taking my time. To further tease her, I slowly pushed her panties between her labia with my tongue, letting the material rub against her stiff and swollen clitoris, making her squirm and gasp, and beg me to yank her panties off and suck her properly. Of course I did just that; it was fun to tease my baby, but not to torture her, and this was not funny anymore, not for me, and certainly not for her, so I slid her panties all the way off, and kissed her slowly up along the inside of her thighs, alternating between thighs until I reached the juncture of her thighs, the sweet-smelling target and object of my desire, the field of dreams. Her scent was drifting over me, tickling my nostrils and beguiling my senses, at once subtle and strong, fresh, sharp and enticing, once again reaching all the way down inside me and flicking switches in my limbic system and playing havoc with my emotions. 

I slipped my tongue inside her, letting her know I was there and ready, making her jump and groan, then began to lick her in long slow strokes from her little pink anus to the base of her stiff and swollen clitoris, where I paused to lick and suck gently, savouring the juices pouring out of her and coating that stiff little pink pearl in a delicious glaze of hr delightfully tangy essence. Lena clamped her thighs around me, her hand against the back of my head as she held me against her, where I licked, sucked, and suckled at her, draining the liquid feast she offered as fast as it seeped from her damp and swollen vulva. Her breathing was getting faster, more erratic, and her pussy was pressing more insistently against me as I drank from her, my restless tongue stimulating and driving her on, until she could take no more.

Lena climaxed with a strangled groan, a spray of hot liquid coating my face and mouth as she squirted in the intensity of her orgasm, her clitoris throbbing insistently under my tongue as the waves of orgasmic pleasure rolled and crashed through her, each wave convulsing her pussy as it pressed against my mouth, her clitoris resonating in harmony with the pleasure coursing through her as it throbbed insistently against my tongue.

"No more, Dar, God, no more, enough, please, I can't take it...!" she groaned, releasing me from the bondage of her thighs as she rolled away from me, her legs wide-spread to keep any sort of pressure away from her over-stimulated vulva. I obliged, moving back up the bed to lie next to her, my hand on her tummy to calm her as the muscles jumped and quivered in adrenaline overload. Slowly she calmed, eventually her eyes opened and she smiled up at me.

"Don't tell me; Gower Street Nurses Quarters, right?"

"You know me so well, princess! What can I say; I'm a fast learner and a good student!"

She started laughing, tears appearing at the corners of her eyes as she laughed.

"Oh Darryl, I'm so glad you're mine!" she grinned, "but what about you? You got nothing out of that!"

To be honest, I'd been so absorbed in pleasing her that my own need had drained away unnoticed, and now I was just content to lie there next to her, holding and watching her, and feel deeply, immeasurably glad that she was mine and was ripening with my child. I knew and understood at that moment just how deeply and unconditionally I loved and adored my wife, which was how I now saw her; I didn't need some piece of paper, some man-made, societal construct to tell me she was my only true love; our souls already knew that, and had for all the years of our lives before this moment had ever happened.

I leaned down to kiss and nibble her lips.

"Tell you the truth, baby, I'm so buggered after today that all I want to do is hold you and have a snooze; we'll have a light supper later, and I might be tempted to chase you around the bedroom a few times after that; you okay with that?"

Lena smiled softly and snuggled up against me, her warmth and even breathing, the smell of her hair, and the feel of her heartbeat lulling me to sleep with her. 

I woke with a delicious sensation; warm soft lips clasped tightly around my erect penis. I opened my eyes to look into Lena's bright blue China-Doll eyes, her red lips firmly around my cock as she sucked gently but insistently. I grinned down at her, seeing her eyes crinkle as she grinned back at me around my cock.

"Was there something I can help you with, Miss...? I asked her seriously, watching as her head bobbed up and down on me. For answer, she scraped a fingernail ever so lightly along the underside of my scrotum, just enough to send a prickle of goosebumps between my shoulder blades; she was telling me to take it seriously or take the consequences, so I lay back, shut my eyes, and tried not to think about ramming myself into her mouth and down her throat. Lena changed her tack slightly, now rubbing her tongue gently along the slit in the tip of my cock, goosebumps again erupting as she did it; I was in an agony of indecision; much as I was enjoying it, I didn't want to come like this; I wanted to shove my aching cock deep inside her and try and do the medically impossible; fuck another baby into her to keep the one already there company, just as she'd demanded in the airport when I'd collected her just a few days ago.

At last I'd had enough; her mouth and tongue were taking me to a place I didn't want to go alone; I needed her lips against mine as I rammed my cock into her, So I pulled back to slide my cock out of her mouth, and slid down the bed as her surprised look transmuted into a dirty smile and a devilish twinkle; good, she was ready to play properly!

As I pulled her to me, she reached down to once more hold my cock; her hand crept down to clutch me once again and pump as her lips and tongue played with mine. When she judged I was ready, she pushed me over onto my back and slid on top of me, still maintaining our kiss as my hands now grasped her soft, firm buttocks. I pulled them apart, feeling her lips widen in a grin as I played with her cheeks, then her surprised gasp as I slowly pushed my finger into her tight, juicy little anus.

"Oooh yes Dar, that's nice, keep doing that, oooh God, yesss, oooh yess!" she muttered against my lips as I gently pumped my finger into her tight hole. Her legs splayed out on either side of my hips as she rubbed her wet pussy against my rigid cock, her clitoris dragging through the clump of wiry hair clothing the base of my cock and stimulating her even further. As she writhed and wriggled on me, I began slowly thrusting against her pussy, dragging my cock between her labia as she rubbed against me, until I was able to slide into her, making her gasp at the sudden intrusion. Lena lay flat on top of me, her tongue still probing and searching my mouth as her hips gyrated gently, clenching and squeezing me with her pussy as she fucked me. I continued to push my finger into her arse, the tight ring gradually loosening enough to slide a second finger in. Now I pumped her bum hole with my hands as my cock pumped and stirred inside her tight pussy, and our tongues fenced; Lena was getting all three holes fed and stimulated at the same time, and pressed flat against me as she was, I could feel her heart-rate rising as the multiple stimulation began to take effect.

When I slid a finger from each hand into her arsehole as I pulled her bum-cheeks apart, stretching open her anus, she came with a loud hissing scream, her pussy squeezing me convulsively as her orgasm rocketed through her, but I held off my own climax; I had plans. Lena rubbed her pussy against me as she climaxed again, her clitoris stimulated by the repeated rubbing against my pubic hair, until finally she slumped down against me, her heart hammering against mine. Now I slid my still hard cock from her and prodded her in the area of her perineum. Lena lifted her head to grin at me.

"Oho, now I know what you're up to you, dirty, dirty boy! Wait...!" 

She lifted her midsection and reached down between us to grasp my cock, still slick with her juices, and slowly rub it against her loose and open rosebud. As she placed the tip at her entrance she nodded, and I slowly began exerting pressure, pushing slowly but inexorably forward. I could see the expression of concentration, and a little pain, on her face and stopped; I wanted to fuck her, not hurt her. Lena cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Problems, Dar? Keep going baby, it's okay, I want this too!"

Taking her at her word, I continued to press forward, until suddenly all resistance disappeared and I slid into her rectum in one smooth glide, filling her as I slid in balls-deep.

"Oh God, wait...wait...okay, go!" she panted, and as I slid back out preparatory to pumping back in, she began to moan.

"God, yesss, yesss, oh yes, Dar, like that, baby, harder, yesss, God, yes!" she muttered, hunching back against my stroke, pushing herself against my cock as I pumped it into her tight anus.

Lena locked her arms around me, holding herself tightly against me as we fucked, our mouths working feverishly against each other as the raw, primitive fucking captured us and drove us higher and higher. I rolled over to hold her under me, pinning her to the bed as my cock jack-hammered her, ramming into her arse as hard as I could, while she wrapped her legs around me and pulled me into her to jam my cock as deep into her bum as I could get it.

We couldn't sustain the wild pace of such a wild, abandoned fuck; I came with a roar, my cock-head swelling to what seemed an enormous size as it wedged inside her tight anal tube, spunk bursting out of me to coat her insides with my hot cream. As I came, Lena climaxed, the feel of my spunk spraying her insides setting off her own gigantic orgasm, her pussy convulsing and spraying me with her own fragrant juices as her anus clamped down around me. This was enough to make me come even harder, the tip of my cock burning with the pressure of the semen jetting out of me and into her bowels.

At last I stopped spraying, my cock twitching and lurching in aftershock from such a ferocious orgasm. Lena was limp and unresisting, her body still twitching and shuddering as the adrenaline raced around inside her. We both lay slumped together, our muscles temporarily disabled by the shock of our mutual orgasm, both of us too damned tired to do more than loll weakly against each other as we slowly recovered. My last conscious act was to pull the covers up over the two of us, and that was it until the morning sun shining on my face woke me up.




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 04



Lena was nowhere to be seen, but I could hear her moving around, so I climbed out of bed and stuck my head out the bedroom door. She was busily hanging some light dresses on a rail in the next door bedroom, and grinned at me as she saw me. 

"Come on, Dar, have a shower and help me get our stuff ready; we fly out Friday morning, that's the day after tomorrow, in case you need reminding, so get a move on, slowcoach!"

This from a beautiful naked girl whose bending and stretching as she pulled clothes off the rack and held them up to admire them was playing hob with my libido! I debated whether to just grab her and drag her into my lair, or ambush her in the doorway as she bent over, but common sense won; I definitely needed a long shower, if that smell was anything to go by, and she looked like she had every intention of remaining naked for a while yet, so I had time; also, I was starving; the session last night had knocked us out so completely that thoughts of dinner were far from our minds after we'd collapsed in a heap, so I hurriedly revised my priorities; shower, then food, then Lena...

I dressed quickly and started downstairs, smelling and feeling fresh and desirable, just as my cologne promised, intending to collect Lena and take her out for breakfast so I could seduce her some more, but she was nowhere to be seen; I could hear her, however; she was upstairs somewhere, talking on the phone to Lizzie, making final travel arrangements, so I left her to it and went down to make toast, scramble some eggs, and put the coffee on. She finally joined me just as I finished scrambling the eggs, wearing a diaphanous wrap that showed more than it concealed as it floated around her, and I could feel the demons of desire tugging at me as I watched her float around, the sight of her raising my pulse and temperature, and a couple of other things too! Lena of course knew exactly what she was doing to me; several times I caught that secret, self-satisfied little smirk she gets when things are going her way; she'd done all her packing, now she was ready to play, and she was making sure I was ready too.

We discussed our travel plans over our leisurely breakfast, but my mind was on other things; Lena is the most desirable, and certainly the sexiest girl I've ever known, and to have her sitting opposite me, dressed in nothing but a gauzy robe through which I could see frank and appealing glimpses of nipple, the curve of a buttock, and her long, lissom thighs as she crossed her legs or adjusted her robe, was cooking me on a slow simmer. Eventually I couldn't stand it any longer; Lena dressed like that demanded immediate and thorough attention, and certain parts of me had every intention of attending to her. Lena glanced up from her coffee and saw the look on my face, a small smile flickering on her lips.

"Ready to play, Dar?" she asked softly, and I nodded, offering her my hand.

I led her from the table to the sitting room, and pulled her down onto my lap on the big couch. Lena squirmed around until she was sitting astride me, resting on her knees on the couch. Her lips were in easy reach, and for the next few minutes or eight hours, I forget which, we kissed, her lips hot, hungry and avid. My cock was making itself felt, and Lena shifted several times to accommodate the feel of me bulging up against her labia as we kissed, until she finally reached down and unbuttoned my jeans. She climbed off me and pulled me to my feet so she could tug my jeans down while I pulled off my polo shirt. Once I was undressed, it was a simple matter for me to slide her robe off to once again admire the scenic landscape of my beautiful, naked sister/aunt.

"Hello, Dar, are you there?" she grinned, completely breaking my reverie as I drank her in. I smiled back a little guiltily and pulled her close for a little grope of her spectacular bum by way of apology. Lena ground herself against me as she nibbled my earlobe, two things guaranteed to light up all my circuits, and I responded by groping and squeezing her a little more seriously as I grazed on her neck and shoulder. Lena slowly manoeuvred me backwards until my calves met the couch, whereupon she pushed me lightly, just enough to make me sit down a little abruptly. I kept hold of her glorious bum, though; I loved holding those globes too much to let a little thing like that make me let go of those beauties!

Now I was seated, my face was on level with her crotch, so I gently pulled her closer by her firm cheeks and stuck my tongue out to lick her bare pussy as she came within reach. Lena shivered as I lightly licked her from as far back between her thighs as I could reach to the hood of her clitoris, feeling the little pearl there beginning to tighten and harden as her arousal climbed. Lena ground herself lightly against my mouth as I licked and lapped at her, her hands holding my head as she directed me with subtle pressure towards the places she wanted me to pay attention to. I could feel her getting more and more aroused; her juices were coating my tongue, as I lapped her, and the scent of her arousal was strong and fresh in my nostrils. Now she was sighing and pushing herself harder and harder against me, urging me to take her higher, but there was something I wanted to do first. 

I stopped licking her and turned her around, getting a discontented murmur from her, but I knew she'd soon forgive me. Now her lovely backside was in my face, and taking hold of her hips, I buried my face in the cleft between her warn, springy buttocks, my tongue spearing for my target, her soft, spongy, tight little rosebud. Lena gasped as I licked her there, and then pushed back against me as I began licking her pucker, occasionally poking the tip of my tongue into the tight knot of her rosebud to rim her, making her gasp and shudder. I knew she was getting tired standing there like that while I orally assaulted her tender parts, so I pulled her down next to me, turning her on her hands and knees away from me so I could continue eating her, while occasionally running my tongue across her labia from her clitoris to her perineum, making her mutter and murmur as she shivered. When I judged she was ready, I shuffled up behind her, and slid my aching cock into her tight wet pussy. Her groan as I slid into her was all I could have asked for, satisfied and demanding, fulfilled and happy. The angle we were at was perfect for me to penetrate her deeply, my cock rubbing against her G-spot as I ploughed into her while I held and squeezed her firm breasts and stiff, straining nipples. Lena pushed back against me as I pounded into her, both of us straining to please the other as we fucked so deliciously. 

I couldn't last long like this, and neither could my darling Lena. She came with a loud groan, her pussy clamping down tightly around me, the rippling heat enough to set me off, and I came in an explosion of spunk, stream after stream of sperm blasting into her, while I thought my heart would burst from the intensity of my orgasm. Lena was no less affected, her body trembling and shuddering as her orgasm crashed and surged inside her, wave after wave rippling through her, to massage and squeeze my cock embedded deep inside her, milking me of every drop of semen.

I collapsed on the couch next to her, my body completely fucked-out from that head-shattering orgasm; my balls felt like they'd been finely minced, and my cock was just a collection of nerve ending right now, and all I wanted to do was sleep with my genitalia in a bowl of ice water. Lena looked to be in little better shape; her stomach muscles were still quivering and jumping in the aftermath of her massive orgasm, and all she could manage for me was a weak smile before rolling against me and pulling herself in close, followed a few seconds later by the sound of her soft, even breathing as she dozed off. That pretty much set the pattern of the day; it took me about six minutes to pack for our trip, I wasn't taking any holiday-type clothes as it wasn't a holiday, mainly tee-shirts, shorts and underwear, lots of SPF50 sun-block, and that was about it. The rest of the day was spent holding Lena, kissing Lena, and making leisurely love to my Lena, with a short interlude for dinner about 7 o'clock. We didn't go out for dinner this time; instead we raided the fridge; we had an early start so we needed an early night.

We were up with the lark, Lena doing last-minute checks, having last-minute panics and generally frazzling herself. I had the tickets, our passports, gifts for mum and dad, and all the little things Lena had forgotten stashed away in my flight bag, so I was unworried; the day was working just fine from my perspective. Exactly at the time we'd agreed, Lizzie and the kids arrived, ferried by Emma's husband as she had to work. The two of us retired to another room to escape the hubbub as Lizzie and Lena tried to talk over two excited, noisy kids. The minibus we booked to take us to the airport arrived on time, and so we departed. Aunt Doreen had a spare set of keys; she was going to look in on the place while we were away. The flight itself was uneventful, just over five hours, and we cleared customs with no real problems. The minibus from Paphos airport to Kolossi took about two hours along the tortuous route along the southern coastal roads, but when we arrived in the Sovereign Base Area my excitement knew no bounds; I'd last seen mum and dad nearly two months ago, but it had felt like forever, and I was raring to see them. Lizzie, however, was a bag of nerves, her hand clutching Lena's so tightly her knuckles stood out stark and white. 

We agreed that I'd meet mum and dad first, then Lena, then we'd bring Lizzie and the kids in to meet dad, but it didn't happen that way; mum was waiting for us outside the small townhouse they'd bought, and as soon as I saw her my chest tightened; now I realised just how much I missed my mum, and I was holding her in a bear-hug possibly even before the minibus had come to a halt; all our plans for an orderly exit went out the window when I saw her, and I scrambled to hold her, hug her, feel her close to me again, all the while gabbling about how much I loved and missed her. Mum was almost the same, nearly incoherent as she held me close, hugging me in a neck-breaker while she kissed me. Lena followed with a much more sedate, but no less loving embrace; she'd last seen mum only a few days before, so she could be afford to be a little less headlong in her greeting, but I could see how glad she was to hold her again.

Then mum saw Lizzie, her eyes widening as she looked at the woman she'd last seen as a teenage girl. Her eyes brimmed all over again as she wordlessly held her arms out to her, a gesture of acceptance and reconciliation that wasn't lost on Lizzie. As mum hugged her, she looked behind her and gasped when she saw the children smiling shyly at her. Lizzie pulled back slightly to see the expression on mum's face, and called the children closer.

"Maureen, these are my children, this is Marcus, and this is Allie. Kids, I'd like you to meet...your grandmother..."

Mum looked at her in wonder, tears brimming in her eyes as she called both of them closer to hug them. Her eyes never left their faces.

"Look at them, their beautiful, and they look so much...!" she smiled, her eyes darting to Lena for a second, and Lizzie nodded as she smiled back. "I know, I finally got something right!"

Mum hugged all three of them as tightly as she could. 

"Thank you, Lillibet, thank you!" she murmured. "Your father's in the back garden; he was playing cards with his friends last night and had a couple of glasses too many of Ouzo, so he's feeling sorry for himself right now; I think that'll soon disappear! I didn't tell him about you, or the children, Lena asked me not to, I hope that's all right with you...?"

Lizzie took her arm for a second, then looked at me.

"Darryl, you go through first, please; I know how much you wanted to see him again, I can wait a few minutes; Lena and I will come in shortly; go on now, I know how long you've waited!"

I swallowed, trying to dislodge the massive lump in my throat as I walked through the house to see my dad again; subconsciously I was expecting him to have deteriorated, to look somehow smaller or diminished as his sickness took its inexorable course, but he looked the same, a little more colour in his cheeks than the last time I'd seen him, but his weight seemed good, and his breathing was almost inaudible; being here obviously agreed with him. He was dozing, a copy of the Cyprus Mail newspaper on his chest, and I stopped to grin, he looked so familiar in that pose, something I'd seen nearly every Sunday morning of my childhood when he settled down in his favourite armchair in front of the TV to read the papers, usually lasting about half-way through before dozing off. I must have made a sound, and his eyes flicked open.

"Darryl, hello son!" he smiled, and I moved across to hug him, so glad I had my dad back. After what seemed like an eternity he pushed me away so he could look at me.

"You're looking well, Darryl, very well; work must agree with you. Where's Lena?"

I pointed at the front of the house.

"She's talking to mum, she wanted to give me some time alone with you. How are the meds? Have they still got you on Formeterol?"

Dad nodded. "It seems to work better than the Salbutamol, and for longer, so I've stuck with it, and the Chief Physician here agrees; no need to change if it works."

I made to go and get Lena, then the doctor took over, and I checked his temperature, his pulse, and listened to his chest, and yes, I had my stethoscope with me; most doctors would rather travel without their trousers than leave their most fundamental diagnostic tool behind, and I'd inherited that instinct from my peers and mentors. All seemed to be well, and just as I was helping him button up his shirt again, Lena came into the room. She immediately hugged him fiercely, almost smothering him in her enthusiasm, dad laughing and spluttering as he fended her off. And then he looked at the door and saw Lizzie. His eyes opened wide in astonishment and his face paled.

"Hello daddy!" she murmured, while dad's mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. Lizzie came closer, to kneel next to him and take his hand. "I'm so sorry daddy, so very sorry, please forgive me for taking so long, I was wrong to leave, and then I was afraid to come home because I didn't know how to put it right!"

Dad took her hand in his, then suddenly pulled her close to him, hugging her while he whispered in her ear. I looked away, otherwise I was going to start bawling; Lena was already there. A movement caught my eye, and I looked over to see mum and the kids standing in the doorway. Dad also caught the movement, and as he registered what he was seeing a look of complete astonishment came over his face. Lizzie looked up and saw the direction of his stare, and smiled happily.

"Daddy, this is Allie, and Marcus. Babies, come and say hello to your Granddad!"

Now the family was complete.

*

We stayed for a week; I would have like to have stayed longer, but the children had to go back to school, and I had to go back to work. Mum and dad had twigged that Lena was expecting; the morning visits to the bathroom and the loud retching sounds soon gave that away, and mum went from being a calm, efficient, Nursing Supervisor to the psycho-neurotic mother of an expectant mother. Dad, Allie, Marcus and I stayed out of the way while mum, Lizzie and Lena banded together. Eventually they calmed down, the women taking long shopping and sightseeing trips while Marcus, dad and I hobnobbed with the RAF staff and flight-crew he'd befriended in Akrotiri; the look on Marcus' face the day he got to sit in the cockpit of a Tornado was worth the price of all the airline tickets, his seven-year old face glowing as he got to be what every little boy wants to be; the pilot of a jet fighter. We did lots of family things too; as mum and dad lived on the Sovereign Base Area of Kolossi, we got to use the RAF facilities, which meant a certain amount of time sunning by the pool while RAF Flight Crew ogled Lena and tried fruitlessly to pick her up, and Allie flirted outrageously with, and broke the hearts of, every boy her own age from the RAF families stationed there.

Dad was completely bewitched by his grandchildren, and both Marcus and Allie had fallen in love with him within minutes of meeting him; it quickly became normal to knock on his door first thing in the morning with his meds and find both of them already there, sitting on his bed, while he told them stories of their mother, or his life in the RAF before Lizzie was born, and the two of them invariably sat either side of him at lunch and dinner, both of them never more than a few inches from his side and always ready to pass him the salt, the bread, a napkin, anything. Lizzie glowed to see her children bonding so closely with her family as they discovered their grandparents. Mum took to the role of grandmother as though born to it, just as Lena had predicted; she was utterly besotted by both children and their astonishing resemblance to dad and Lena; it was easy for her to relate to them because of that resemblance; anyone who looked so like her own child was always going to find a special place in her heart. 

In turn, I'd never seen dad so relaxed or at ease; perhaps coming here had benefitted him; he certainly thought so. I still wasn't completely convinced; I didn't like the idea of them being marooned in a foreign country, but I'd seen the facilities at the hospital, and been impressed at the standards of palliative care, so I couldn't in all honesty object on quality of care grounds. My objections were far baser; I wanted my dad near me, but I had to admit; being here was probably best for him. I shuddered to think what one more English winter would have done to his lungs; at least here, he could grab a few more precious handfuls of life than he could ever hope for in the damp and cold of England. Lena in turn was never more than a few feet from him, and it became usual to see him with his arm around her as she stood next to him, his ear pressed against her abdomen as he tried to detect any sign of his grandchild, or sometimes just to feel the nearness of his daughter. 

All too quickly, the week was over and we had to leave. I was quite prepared for Lena to tell me she was staying a few more weeks; not only would I not have objected, I would have agreed wholeheartedly. She needed to be near mum, she needed that older female companionship as her pregnancy progressed, but Lena seemed quite happy to come back with me, which puzzled me slightly, then I got it; she had Lizzie now, and she had Marcus and Allie; Lena had family to fall back on; she was part of a clan now.

Leaving was a wrench, even though I knew we'd be coming back in the spring, if not before; more than anything now I wanted to take that picture of my father with my baby, and I wanted to come back at least once more before then; being separated from them for six weeks had been almost unbearable, and this week had helped to sponge some of that away, but I couldn't bear the thought of another seven or eight months or so before we saw them again, so perhaps Christmas would be a good time to visit; if we worked it right, we could maybe bring Lizzie and the children again during their school holidays so we could have a last family Christmas together...

Saying goodbye was the hardest part; mum and dad couldn't come to the airport with us, and the children had grown so attached it was distressing and upsetting to watch them cling to mum and dad; hell, I almost jumped out of the bus and waved it off, but sense prevailed and I left with my family, watching mum and dad dwindle in the distance until the bend in the road cut off our view. Lena was snuffling against me, and I wasn't far behind, and Lizzie, Marcus and Allie were all shiny-eyed as well. It was a sombre group who boarded the plane, Allie pre-empting the seat next to me so she could huddle up against me and cry, Marcus doing the same and holding Lena tightly, with Lizzie holding Lena's hand the all the way home.




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 04



The summer eventually fizzled out into the gathering gloom of autumn, and the kids went back to school, but they stayed close; most weekends they were with us, or we went to see them in Portishead, the seaside town in North Somerset Lizzie had chosen to live in, a short way down the M5 motorway. The beach at Portishead is a summer beach not too far from the mouth of the Severn Estuary, and so at the end of the season everything was closed, but it was nice to stroll along the miles of golden sand on the occasional sunny day and watch the big Atlantic rollers come in up the Bristol Channel as the weather in the North Atlantic gradually worsened at the closing of the year. I'd hoped to get some time off over Christmas, but as most junior consultant on the general surgery team, I drew the short straw in the Annual Leave lottery, which meant no real leave until probably near Easter, late March or early April. I got to spend Christmas at home with Lena, Lizzie and the children, and Aunt Doreen, and then they'd all gone to Cyprus, while I went back on rotation until after New Year; while everyone was busily singing 'Auld Lang Syne' I was knee-deep in work, learning the intricacies of triple-bypass surgery. 

I did get some interesting and intriguing news, though; after my conversation with Emma about my aunt and missing cousins in London, I'd asked a few colleagues in the hospitals in and around south and south-west London if there were any correlations with the names Sandra Lois Jameson, Julie Jameson, or Mark Jameson. A Julie Jameson, aged 13, had been treated in St. Georges, Tooting Broadway, for a cracked cheekbone sustained during a volleyball game; that had been five years ago, so she was eighteen now. Her next of kin had been listed as a Mark Jameson, aged sixteen. That made me pause; the coincidence was too compelling. Julie and her brother had been in South London five years before, so there was a chance they still were. The next time I saw Emma I'd pass it on, and she could take it from there.

Lena, Lizzie and the children came home just in time for the start of school after the Christmas holiday, and I finally got Lena to myself at last. I was jumping with anticipation, as well as talking sternly to a cock that wanted to jump out and ravage her there in the Arrivals Lounge; I think Lizzie read my agonised expression, soundly deflecting Marcus and Allie's request to come back and spend some time with Lena and me, instead persuading them that Lena was tired after the flight and she didn't want to be entertaining after such a long flight. Lizzie insisted on taking a taxi back to Portishead, while giving me the dirtiest wink I'd ever seen...

So once again I was driving my baby home from the airport with an unruly erection not helped by the sight of Lena's smooth thighs barely concealed by the short, tight skirt she was wearing, but I did manage to get us home safely, unloaded her luggage sedately and carried it in, then leaped frenziedly on her. I think I broke my personal best for getting naked, with Lena not far behind, which was surprising considering she was wearing so much less than me; Clark Kent couldn't have got out of his clothes faster, phone box or not, and finally I had her delectable peach of a bottom in my hands. Lena was no less hot, rubbing her bare mound relentlessly against me as we kissed voraciously. We didn't even make it up the stairs, even though we tried; as we got as far as the bottom tread, I lifted her to carry her upstairs, her legs wrapped around my waist, and she just dropped herself down onto my straining cock, impaling herself on me in one move. 

All thought and plans for a leisurely build-up to the Great Bedroom Seduction Scene went out of my head as her hot succulence engulfed me, my gasp matching her groan of fulfilment as she sank down on me, taking me in all the way. I spun around to put her back against the wall so I could pummel her, Lena moaning and biting my shoulder as I hammered into her, my senses all at full stretch as we fucked, the first time I'd ever done it this way with her. Lena was in a world of her own, little gasps in time to my thrusts into her was the only sound from her, but the pulsing, squeezing sensation in her pussy told me just how much she was getting from this. Those same sensations were doing things to me, making me hot, making me want to empty myself into her over and over again, need overwhelming conscious thought as we pumped and ground against each other, until;

"Ooooh God, yesss, yesss, fuck me, Darryl, yesss, YESS!" she screamed, her pussy clamping tightly around me as her orgasm roared through her, her whole body quaking and shuddering with the force of her release. 

Her orgasm triggered my own, my cock swelling inside that succulent, velvety, vice-like grip as the ripples in her pussy milked and squeezed me, and my own orgasm crackled through me, centring at the juncture of my thighs, hot bolts of seminal fluid pulsing out of me in what felt like an endless stream, each pulse of my cock a sweet agony of sensation as I poured myself into her. My eyesight dimmed, and my ears rang with the force of my ejaculation, my whole being centered on the rigid cock jammed balls deep inside her, pumping my seed into her, my lover, formerly my sister and my aunt in one perfect package, now only the mother of my child and the love of my life, my only and forever. 

Our mutual storm passed leaving us weak and drained, bodies and limbs twitching in reaction to the stress we'd put them under. I sank to my knees, taking Lena with me, leaning back on my hands as she knelt straddling me, her arms around my neck as she held herself against me, her heart beating a rapid tattoo against my own. We sat like that while we calmed and got our breath back, Lena stirring first, kissing the tip of my nose as she grinned happily, if a little blearily, at me.

"Holy Shit, Daryl, we have got to do that again before baby-bump gets too big!"

I grinned back, my eyes widening as I suddenly really saw what I'd been seeing all along; she was over four months along, well into the second trimester, and she was beginning to show; not a lot, still a barely noticeable curve and swell to her erstwhile flat tummy, barely a baby bump, and easily mistaken for normal feminine rounding, but it was there; there was my baby, finally making his or her presence felt! Nothing more would do but that I must slide her off and up a little so I could kiss her adorable rounded tummy and finally say hello properly to my baby. I'd seen the initial scans, but they had been unrevealing, showing little more than areas of dark and light and a fluttering little heart, doing nothing except confirm we were having a baby and that there were no detectable risks to mother or baby. 

"Next Wednesday, Dar, my first 3-D Ultrasound scan at the Ante-Natal clinic, and this time, you'll be able to tell if it's a boy or a girl; that should make baby shopping easier!" 

I continued to gaze adoringly at her belly, picturing her as our baby grew and developed inside her, imagining how she would look with a swollen belly, finding the mental picture stimulating and arousing; she was mine, and she was having my baby. My life was perfect, with only one cloud hanging over it; I was going to lose my dad, soon. But, he'd come to terms with it, and showed me how to do that as well. I was never going to be okay with it, but I wasn't skirting the edge of depression and despondency any longer, and I had Lena, and baby bump to look forward to in the coming months, and family we loved and who loved us. I wanted to do something special for her for dinner, and maybe celebrate baby Morgan finally showing up.

"What would you like to do for dinner, baby?" I asked, and her eyes lit up.

"I want a big slab of steak, seared on the outside, blue on the inside, glazed with blue cheese, smothered with button mushrooms fried in butter, duchesse potatoes, a warm salad, and lots of chocolate to follow, and I don't mean Death by Chocolate; I'm talking Genocide by Chocolate; clinically inadvisable amounts of chocolate, Dar, I want people on the other side of the globe to faint with envy when they hear what I had for dessert!"

*

The Ante-Natal clinic pronounced mother and baby in perfect health, and confirmed the probable sex to us; we were having a boy (in the considered opinion of the Radiologist administering the scan), poor Lena trying not to show her momentary disappointment after she'd set her heart on a girl. 

"Never mind, baby, the next one will be a girl, and at least she'll have a big brother to look out for her, just like I did!" she grinned, consoling herself as we left the hospital. 

That evening I got a call from Emma, asking if I was free for a couple of hours in the morning, there was someone she wanted me to meet. I was intrigued when she wouldn't say who, as was Lena.

The following morning Emma picked us up; Lena wanted to come along too, and we drove through Bristol, down through the Centre, past Temple Meads and along the Bath Road, finally turning into Arnos Grove Cemetery. I guessed where we were going, and Emma led us to a marble memorial, a cross with an inverted rifle carved into the upright, and a badge carved in high relief, a laurel chaplet surrounding a map of the world, surmounted by a pennon with 'Gibraltar' carved on it, supporting the Queen's State Crown bearing a rampant crowned lion and the words 'Per Mare, Per Terram'; the crest of the Royal Marines. At the juncture of the upright and the crosspiece of the monument was an inset picture of a smiling young man in the full dress blues of a Royal Marine. He was holding his white Wolseley Topee helmet under his arm, and Lena gasped as she looked closely.

"Oh my God, Dar, he looks just like you, look!"

I already knew who it was; the inscription gave his name. I felt oddly affected by seeing this; I had no connection to this man, and yet I literally owed my existence to him. I read the inscription further.

Robert Darryl Fraser, Lance-Corporal, 

Company K, 42 Commando, Royal Marines

Taken from us 31st May, 1982 while on patrol on Mount Kent, East Falkland, Falkland Islands.

"PARUI REQUIEM MIHI ET HONORE"

It took me a moment to recall enough Latin to translate the inscription; 

"I have served with honour and earned my rest"

Lena had tears in her eyes as she read the inscription, and knelt down to right the wreath of poppies placed there last November 11th, Remembrance Day. Emma knelt beside her and brushed away the wind-blown debris that had sifted over the base of the monument then placed a single poppy and a white rose there. Lena exchanged glances with her, then once more brushed her hand lightly over the poppy wreath.

"So young, look at him, he was just a boy...!" she murmured, a tear rolling down her cheek, "He was just a boy, Dar, he had his whole life ahead of him..."

Emma brushed her fingertips over the picture, her eyes distant, sad.

"A lot of boys lost their lives there, on both sides; some of them died the same day, and when I come up here I try and think of all of them too, of what their mothers and families must be doing now, and it's probably not very much different to what we're doing here and now. This is the real consequence of war, not the drums and trumpets and victory parades and medals; instead there's the empty seats at the family gatherings, the lost promise of lives not lived, and the grandchildren who will never be. I don't celebrate the victory in the Falklands; those boys who were killed by our troops, they may have been enemy soldiers, but they were also somebody's babies, somebody's brothers, too."

She stood up and helped Lena up, wordlessly handing her a tissue so she could wipe her eyes and blow her nose, before linking arms with both of us as we walked back to the car. As we walked, she told us of the reason for our visit.

"I come here every year on Lizzie's birthday because Robbie used to give her a white rose on her birthday; it was like his special gift to her. Today's her birthday, but she's never been here, I don't think she ever will; she can't face his loss, and this would just be too much for her. So I do it, I give him a rose from her, just to let him know she hasn't forgotten him."

We drove back in silence, busy with our thoughts, but feeling strangely up-beat; at least I was; now I had a real connection to my past, to the other side of the story mum and dad had tried to tell me all those months ago.

The next few months flew past; subsequent Ultrasound scans confirmed we were indeed having a boy, and Lena busied herself getting the house baby-friendly while work continued apace for me. Lena quickly acclimatized herself to my sometimes erratic work schedule, she understood that as the junior member of the team I was still in training; the Senior Registrar was very hot on all team members keeping their training and techniques up to date, so I was handed more, and more varied, surgical cases than my more senior colleagues. This was my 'make or break' time; if I caved in under the pressure, I'd fail my surgical elective and have to either revert to General Practice or leave medicine. 

Lena was my tower of strength during this difficult period, keeping me going when I stressed out, and leaving me to sleep when I dragged in after marathon sixteen hour sessions in the Operating Theatre. I think if I'd shown the slightest hint that I was contemplating chucking it all in and becoming a GP she'd have supported me, but she would also have been disappointed with me that I'd given up, and I couldn't live with knowing I'd let her down in any way. This period was when most of my real growing-up happened, as my mind finally wrapped itself around the choices I'd made and showed me the real consequences of failure; I had a baby on the way, and a partner who depended on me, so there was no way I could allow myself to falter or fail. 

As her pregnancy progressed, and her belly swelled, she became almost irresistible; her usual expression was serene, almost angelic; she looked like a Madonna from a Raphael painting, with her sweet expression and calm, unruffled manner; I couldn't get enough of her, and she felt the same way about me; night after night, when I should have been resting in preparation for another long day in the Operating Theatre, we would instead be pounding and straining against each other, everything about her drawing me in, pulling me closer, making me hot and her irresistible; I spent the last trimester with an almost permanent erection, and Lena was always wet and receptive, ever ready with her slippery, succulent pussy or hot demanding mouth. 

My days passed in a whirl of surgery, diagnosis and surgical training reviews, and my nights an endless round of hot, sweaty, slippery sex. When she got too large for us to safely make love in the missionary position, she would instead have me take her from behind, her fingers strumming and rubbing her ever erect clitoris while I pounded into her as I rubbed and squeezed her swollen breasts and highly sensitive nipples. 

However we did it, though, the sex was unforgettable, mind-blowing, incredible, and a whole lot of other superlatives. Lena and I couldn't stop; the things we felt for each other and that connection we shared was always the keystone of our lovemaking, the one thing that stood out for both of us; we really were a family, in all the important, subtle, and not so subtle ways there are to measure that connection we shared, and we felt an almost overwhelming compulsion to renew and explore that connection at every possible opportunity. 

Lizzie was always there for us, and Emma, and Allie, surprisingly; she'd moved to the Catholic school in Lawrence Weston, not too far from either Clifton or Portishead, and had gotten into the habit of appearing on Friday afternoon after school and staying for the weekend, with either Lena or me taking her home on Sunday evening; I was pleased she'd attached herself to us, as it gave Lena some company when I was working through the night at weekends; I got used to coming in at 6 or 7 in the moring and finding Allie and Lena fast asleep in our bed, thumbs corked in their mouths, the TV still on and the debris of pizza and microwave popcorn scattered everywhere; when I wasn't working, having her there gave us a flavour of what it would probably be like to have a child sharing the house with us.

The day I was informed I had been put forward to sit the Intercollegiate Membership of the Royal College of Surgeons examination was the crown of my career to date, and a resounding slap on the back from the University Hospital. From then on my life became even more hectic, cramming time to study in between my surgical caseload and trying (and succeeding, somehow!) to have a family life with Lena. When I took the examination, Lena was serenely confident I would pass and be awarded my membership diploma and the right to carry the letters MRCS after my name; Dr. Darryl Morgan, Member of the Royal College of Surgeons; it had a certain ring to it!

And then one day in late May I got a panicked call from Lizzie. Lena was on her way to the hospital. They'd been out shopping in Broadmead, one last spree before she popped, and her waters had broken in one of the department stores. Luckily Broadmead is only a short way from The Bristol Royal Infirmary and I was already in the A & E when she was brought in by the ambulance, having broken most of the hospital Health and Safety rules in my mad dash to be there for her when she arrived. 

Her face was twisted in pain as another contraction hit her, but she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, her skin glowing with the promise of impending motherhood. The contractions were still more than 5 minutes apart, so there was time to move her to the Maternity Unit and get her gowned and prepped. I was hovering, getting in the way, trying my best to stay out of the way, but trying to be involved at the same time, until the midwife pulled me to one side and dressed me down properly.

"Look, Dr. Morgan, it's quite simple; you can be the attending, in which case you can deliver this baby, and I'll go and have a coffee; Oh yes, you're not an obstetricianor a midwife, are you? Okay, that means you have no business being down at this end, so you get up by your wife, talk to her, help her, hold her hand, anything, just stay the hell out of my way, and keep your trap shut. Are we clear on where you want to be now? Good, now leave us to do our job and you make yourself useful and help your wife get comfortable!" 

I slunk back to Lena's side, feeling foolish at being told off like an officious 8-year old, and Lena's grin didn't help matters any, either! Her grin quickly faded, replaced instead by a grimace and a gasp of pain as another contraction rolled through her; I looked at my watch and noted that it was five minutes since the last one, and also of longer duration. Her hand grabbed mine convulsively as the full strength of the contraction made itself felt. It swept through her for something over 30 seconds, then died away and her breathing eased. 

"Dar," she tugged me closer, "Remember when I used to make fun of all those women in the movies, screaming like banshees when they were having babies? Well I'm sorry, I take it all back! Christ, those contractions hurt, it's like cramp but it just builds up and I can't stop it! Is it too late to ask for an epidural?"

I had to think before I remembered the procedure.

"Not until your contractions are regular and you're dilated 5 centimetres, if they give it to you too soon it may slow your contractions, so sorry, baby, you might have to wait an hour or so, maybe more."

She looked aghast.

"More of this pain, for another hour before they can tell whether I can have pain relief? How long is this labour likely to last?"




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 04



Again, I had to think about the average length of labour with a first delivery.

"Uh, Lena, could be eight to sixteen hours, sorry!"

Lena looked rebellious.

"What! Sixteen hours? I don't bloody think so, get me a doctor, now, and get this baby out of me!"

The midwife looked up at that and grinned at her, patting her gently on her knee as she adjusted her hospital gown.

"Calm down, Lena, it's standard, right now you're only in the first stage of labour, so we can't give you an epidural even if we wanted to. Darryl's right, you know. If it's any consolation, your mother was exactly the same!"

Lena looked sideways at her.

"You know mum?" and the midwife smiled.

"Maureen and I trained at Southmead together, we did our SRN together, and I delivered you...and you!" she glanced at me.

"So you know...?" I asked her tentatively, and she nodded.

"Maureen and I have been friends since we were 17 years old, I trained with her, went to her wedding, and delivered her daughter...and her step-daughter's son, so yes I've always known who you were, Darryl; don't look so worried, Maureen's my friend, your secret's safe with me! I didn't request that I handle this particular birth; it was the luck of the draw, but I'm glad it was me; I delivered Maureen's daughter, and her son, now I'm going to deliver her grandson, I think it all worked out quite well!" 

Poor Lena never got her epidural; there was no anaesthetist available so she had to grit her teeth. Labour lasted an excruciating eight hours, the midwife leaving us alone for most of the time so we could talk, hold each other during the most painful and prolonged of the contractions, and wait for full dilation. Lizzie did hang around for a while, but they wouldn't let her in the Mother-Baby unit, family or no, so she decided to go home after wringing a promise out of me to call her as soon as baby Morgan made an appearance.

At last the midwife decided her uterus was fully dilated, and Lena began to push in time with the contractions as they came almost constantly now; this baby really wanted to be born, and less than 20 minutes after she began to push, that little body slid out, a shock of dark hair my first impression of my son. The midwife clamped and cut, and her assistant took the baby to wipe him off a little, wrap him, and weigh him, before placing him on Lena's chest.

"Hello David!" she murmured, and smiled at my raised eyebrow.

"His name's David Robert Fraser Morgan, do you mind, baby? I wanted him to be part of daddy, and that poor boy as well, if it's okay with you." 

I smiled; of course I understood; Robert Fraser was my father, nothing could change that fact, and he'd not abandoned me; he'd gone away to fight and never came back, through no fault of his own. If we named our son after him I think that would be a fitting tribute to the boy who'd gone to do his duty and paid with his life. Naming him after dad was always my intention; he was going to be David Morgan II from the second I knew we were having boy, and honouring my biological father was also something I'd considered; trust Lena to anticipate me once again and get it so right. I stroked her cheek and chucked my little boy under his tiny, delicate little chin.

"Of course it's okay with me; he's part of both of them, I think it's right he keeps their names alive. Thank you for thinking like that."

The midwife came up then and asked me to leave, as they still hadn't finished with Lena, so I waved as the porter moved her to another part of the unit to finish the rest of the birthing procedure, something I definitely didn't want to watch. I smiled to myself, wondering if he'd have his mother's startling violet eyes to go with the chestnut hair he'd already gotten from her, or if he'd have my green eyes. His eyes would be open in a day or so, I'd find out then. 

I called mum, telling her Lena had just given birth, and listened while she sobbed down the phone at me, then she put dad on. He of course asked what the baby's name was, so I told him, and after a moment's silence he whispered "Thank you son, thank you both!" 

I just had time to tell the him we'd be there in a couple of weeks when my pager decided to go off, and I suddenly realised with a guilty start I'd absented myself from Cardio for over eight hours; oh well, if they gave me any flak they could ask the midwife if they wanted, I had a bloody great, iron-clad excuse!

The hospital kept Lena and the baby in for another three days, with Lizzie, the kids, and Emma in virtually constant attendance the whole time she was in, then I was allowed to take her home. I'd asked for, and been granted, three weeks leave of absence to look after both of them while Lena got back on her feet, although so far she'd proved to be surprisingly resilient. The baby was a demanding feeder, and Lena was only getting sporadic bouts of rest, so I felt it was only fair I take care of everything else around the house while we waited for the little one to settle into a pattern. 

Lena looked amazing; she'd not really put on any baby-weight around her middle, other than a tiny little curve of 'mummy-tummy', so her waistline was hardly affected, and her breasts, swollen with sweet milk, made her look lush and voluptuous; with her long slim legs, taut behind, and over-emphasised décolletage, she looked like a chestnut-haired Betty Page, and I spent all my time around her with an unfeasibly stiff and swollen erection; alas, it was to no avail; eight weeks before we could 'resume normal relations', as the obstetrician so delicately put it; eight weeks, with her looking so deliciously desirable? I was nearly bent double while being ready to explode with pent-up desire for her after just 3 days, how the hell was I going to survive eight weeks? 

Lena was at first amused by my predicament, then sympathetic, but I knew better than to try and force the issue; her insides had taken quite a jumbling and she needed to recover, and the clinical, detached doctor inside me agreed wholeheartedly with the timescale; trouble was, the horny husband-with-needs in there right alongside him disagreed vehemently and spent the long and restless nights baying for her. 

Finally, one night, Lena took pity on me, realising I was keyed-up to an almost impossible pitch. The baby was sleeping soundly in his cot next to the bed, and Lena was fast asleep against me, poor girl, obviously tired out, her arm thrown across my chest, and the scent of her hair filling my nostrils. These days she always smelled delicious; a delicate milky bouquet with overtones of baby oil, baby shampoo, and talcum powder always accompanying her, a sweet and tempting combination, and, as usual, I was in a state of frustrated arousal; my head was, as usual, filled with memories and fantasies of the wild and enormously satisfying sex we had indulged in during early days of her pregnancy, and Rosy Palm and her five daughters just weren't cutting it; I was becoming convinced I was actually going out of my mind with sexual frustration. It was while I was having thoughts like this that Lena shifted, her arm sliding off me and her hand coming to rest flat on my stomach, the edge of her palm just brushing my ever-present erection.

I paid it no mind, and then I felt her hand moving, slowly stealing southward, until she was gently but firmly holding me. As she began to slowly fist my erection, I closed my eyes in ecstasy; I'd done this to myself often enough, but having her do it was a next-level experience. As she squeezed and pumped me she lightly kissed and nibbled my chest, eventually circling my nipple with her tongue before slowly sucking it and gently scraping it with her teeth. All through this she never said a word, her lips and tongue, and her pumping hand all the communication we needed. Then she began kissing down my torso, rubbing her tongue through the hairs on my chest and down my abdomen, poking her tongue into my navel and making me gasp with the sensation. Her lips continued to move further down my midsection, until at last I could feel her warm breath on the head of my cock as she continued to pump and squeeze me. I felt her raise her head and I did likewise, to look into her eyes as she smiled serenely at me.

"I love you, Dar!" she whispered, and slowly slid her lips over the head of my stone-hard cock. I groaned softly at the sensation of wet heat as her soft, hot mouth engulfed me, the feel of her tongue as she licked around and under the head while she sucked me almost indescribable. As she sucked and licked me, she began gently squeezing my scrotum, massaging my balls while she slowly sucked my cock, engulfing the head in hot, slippery succulence.

I couldn't possibly last long like this; the pressure had been almost unbearable before, now, the need to empty myself into her was steadily outvoting all my attempts to hold back, to savour the experience. Lena seemed to know exactly what was going through my mind, as her squeezing of my balls became more urgent, her suckling of me more intense as she did her best to bring me off.

I came with a long, soft, growling moan, mindful of the sleeping infant a few feet away, but the orgasm was no less intense for that, all my nerve-endings seeming to sparkle in one huge rush of crackling energy as what felt like a gallon of sperm blasted out of me and into her hot, receptive mouth. Lena sucked and swallowed as fast as I ejaculated, jet after jet of spunk barrelling out of me, her cheeks hollowing as she sucked and swallowed avidly, her eyes locked on mine as she pleasured me so completely.

At last I slumped back, drained and truly satisfied, all the pressure and frustrations of the last few days wiped away by my beautiful girl and her talented mouth. Lena gave one last lick as she polished the last traces of spunk from my cock-head and slid up next to me to plant a kiss directly on my lips as she leaned up and smiled down at me.

"Dar, you are so silly, and so sweet!" she whispered. "All you had to do was ask, you know! I've been watching you suffer so nobly, when all you had to do was ask. Thank you for thinking it would be wrong to ask me to help you out when I'd only just had a baby, but I would have, like a shot; I love you, you silly arse, and you needed me! From now on, until we can resume rumpy-pumpy proper, if you need some help, just say so; I'll never turn you away, Dar, no matter what!"

As she leaned down to kiss me again, I gathered her into me, one thought resonating inside me; how did I ever end up deserving a wonderful girl like this? I fell asleep, proper sleep, for the first time in days, that unique painless agony finally relieved, with the feel of Lena softly breathing against my neck as I held her close. Sometime during the night I felt her stir, and listened, half awake, to the unmistakeable, beautiful sounds of a tiny child feeding contentedly at his mother's breast. I fell asleep again, a happy and fulfilled father, listening to the love of my life nourish our baby with her body.

I awoke to see Lena once again nursing the baby, his tiny, perfect little lips working as he suckled, his eyes fixed on his mother. David had green eyes, like me, and they were fixed intently on his mother, two tiny emeralds in the bluish orbs of his eyes. I know his eyesight was disorganised and still incapable of resolving anything much at this early stage, but some instinct made him fix his stare on his mother as he nursed, somehow he knew she was his world, for now, and I enjoyed watching Lena looking back into his eyes just as intently, boundless love and fierce protectiveness radiating off her. As I stirred she reached over to gently brush her fingers along my cheek without taking her eyes off the baby, including me in the moment as our baby fed.

I showered, shaved and dressed while Lena finished nursing and put him down to sleep, then signalled me to follow her into the other room. We stood in the doorway across the corridor opposite the bedroom, so Lena could watch the baby's cot while we talked in low voices.

"Darryl, we need to go and see daddy; I keep getting the feeling something's going to happen soon, and...I don't know, but I have to see daddy very soon. Dar, get some tickets, the baby can travel after a week, so get them for early next week. Please Darryl, I don't know how I know, I just know, I have to see daddy again, before...before it's...!" she started crying. Of course I agreed; I hadn't wanted to say anything, but I had been feeling that same need to see and touch my father again, to hold him while he held my child, and along with that a growing feeling I couldn't shake, a premonition that time was fast running out for my dad. Lena clung to me as her tears boiled up, until she was crying in great sobbing bursts, a paroxysm of grief and loss, but one I understood completely; she could feel it as well and as sharply as I could, that we were close to losing dad, and we needed to be with him. I knew that her emotions were in turmoil right now, as her hormones ran riot inside her following the birth, but I could tell this was more than just post-baby blues; I could feel it too, and I had been feeling it for several days now, trying and not succeeding to dismiss it as just new father jitters. Lena stopped crying, but she kept her face still buried in my shirt front, and when I handed her my handkerchief she stroked my cheek as she took it from me. 

"Book seats for all of us, Dar, Lizzie and the children need to come as well, daddy will want to see them again..."

To hear was to obey, and after a quick conversation with Lizzie I called the Travel Agent and booked the flights for the following Monday, four days hence and 10 days after the birth. I made a quick call to the Obstetrics Clinic and confirmed David would be safe to fly, and set about making preparations for our flights.

The trip was once again uneventful, almost routine, although Allie and Marcus were unaware of what was driving it; I'd had a whispered conversation with Lizzie about it and she confessed she too had developed the certainty that time was getting short; something was nagging her about dad, something was wrong, or was going to happen, but the last time she'd spoken to mum and dad, they'd both been fine, dad was roaming around with his old friends, mum was working, everything seemed normal. If not for that same nagging unease I was also feeling I would have dismissed it all out of hand, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was coming, and we needed to go to dad, and soon.

Both the parents were waiting at the airport this time, eager to fawn over their grandchild, mum a ball of smiling, crying, motherly concern and grandmotherly pride, and dad proudly holding his new grandson while Lena and Lizzie hugged him, then pictures of all the kids together with mum and dad, Allie holding David like he was a precious Ming vase while beaming at the camera. 

Dad had the driver of the minibus take the longer route back to Kolossi so as not to jumble the baby around too much, mum hovering over David in his baby-carrier like she never meant to let go while Lena cuddled up against me. When we finally arrived back at the house, Marcus helped me with the luggage while Lena and Lizzie sat with dad, arms around him as they bantered, but the humour in their conversation wasn't reflected in their eyes; they both looked worried, and yet there seemed to be no cause for concern; Dad was looking far fitter than at any time over the last few years, now that I cast my mind back; he'd put some weight back on, and seemed to be using his inhaler much less frequently. His chest certainly wasn't wheezing so distressingly any more, although it hadn't stopped; he had COPD, and it wasn't going away, perhaps the hot dry air was doing what his doctors had hoped for and slowing the advance, giving him more time with mum, with us, the only thing he'd ever really wanted.

I got to take that picture I wanted, dad holding David, looking fit, tanned and healthy, his face wreathed in smiles as he held his grandson (and great-grandson!) proudly, an image I have burned into my mind and memory forever.

Dinner that night was at a local taverna, Lena raring to taste her favourites again; Souvlaki, Moussaka, and Keftedakia, with Baklava to follow, food she'd discovered on Greek holidays with her friends during her university days. She ordered for all of us, and we sat down together to eat as a family, four generations at one table. We stayed until late, laughing and enjoying our time with dad and mum, but still that nagging unease lurked in the back of my mind, and I could tell Lena was sometimes forcing herself to laugh and appear to be enjoying herself; she too was slowly succumbing to that feeling of brooding unease, feeling the growing vacuum as we waited for the first sign that something was imminent.

As we made our way back to the house, Allie roamed ahead to wait for us, while mum walked ahead of us with Lizzie and Lena, mum carrying David and Marcus holding hands with Lena as he gazed adoringly at her. All of them were apparently engrossed with the baby, but Lena kept giving backward glances, her expression worried, as I walked alongside dad, both of us slouching along with our hands in our pockets, something he'd given me endless grief about when I was younger. 

"Stand up straighter, Darryl and get your hands out of your pockets!" he'd order me, "And for goodness sake, stop shambling, walk properly!"

I smiled at the memory, and to see him doing the thing he'd ticked me off about so many, many times.

We chatted about nothing much, just small talk, about the weather in England, how work was progressing, plans for the summer, space fillers, something to stop the silences become brooding; dad was well aware that something was making me edgy; he'd given me several shrewd, questioning glances during dinner, but had said nothing, other than to glance warningly at mum, reminding me not to blurt out whatever was troubling me in front of her. Once inside, while mum, Lena and Lizzie bustled around, dad motioned for me to follow him out onto the rear patio, and asked me to take a seat on one of the sun loungers. He joined me on the other, and we chatted some more, more small talk, until at last he sighed and leaned back in his chair, staring up into the star-speckled sky.

"OK Son, spit it out; what's going on? You, Lena, Lizzie, you're all on tenterhooks, you've been distracted all evening, Lena sounds like a bad laugh track on an old TV show, what's going on?"

I looked away, a huge lump in my throat, and dad at least had the grace to not press me until I was ready to speak. Finally he cleared his throat, something he always did before he spoke.

"Alright, Son, get it off your chest; I knew something was wrong from the moment I first saw you; is it something with you and Lena?"

I turned to stare at him.

"God, no! I love her more than ever, she's everything to me! I promise you, there's nothing wrong between Lena and me!"

Dad pursed his lips.

"Then what is it, son?" he murmured, and waited while I cast about for a way to explain what I was feeling.

"Dad, I know this is going to sound weird, morbid, even, but I keep getting the feeling that something bad's going to happen; Lena can feel it too, that's why we came out here post-haste; even Lizzie feels it, and we can't shake it; I've got a bad feeling, dad, and I wanted to be near you; I can't explain it any other way!"

Dad smiled slightly and leaned back in his chair again, once more looking up at the stars. When he eventually spoke, his voice was even, measured, the voice of a man at peace with himself.

"Son, you're a doctor, you know what's happening to me, you know what's going to happen to me; if it happens sooner rather than later, it doesn't matter, it was always on the cards, and there's nothing anyone could have done. And that's okay, really. My only worry in all of this was what was going to happen with you and Lena, whether you'd both ever find that one person, the right one, like I did with your mother. Well you did, and I'm happy for you both, pleased and happy; you obviously love each other deeply, you always have, it just took a while to work itself out, and for me to accept that you would be together one day. You have a lovely baby son, and you'll have more, and if I'm not here to share in that, well, so what; you two are, and there's some of me in both of you, so I will be there in a way." 




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 04



He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts as we listened to the sound of crickets chirring in the hot, still air.

"I hope we brought you up well, son, and I know you'll repay us by doing the same for your own children. I'm proud of you for being who you are, Darryl, not what you are; and even if you weren't my son already, I'd welcome you into this family to be my son, and Lena's husband. Take care of her, Darryl; I know I've said this before, but I want to say it again; she's waited her whole life for you, don't let her down. Pretty soon you're going to be the man of the family; I know it's an old-fashioned idea, but it's true nevertheless, and I need you to be strong for your mum, for Lena, and for Elisabeth and the children; they're all going to need you in some way, even if it's just to be there for them. With your mother, though, don't leave her here alone when I'm gone; she says she wants to stay here after...you know, but she'll be here alone, and I won't do that to her; take her home, son, she's going to need you, all of you, but most especially she's going to need Lena and little David."

I listened to this with tears running down my cheeks. I finally got that dad was saying goodbye, and it hurt more than I thought anything could ever hurt. Dad saw, and reached over to rub my cheek.

"It's okay, son, I'm ready to go soon; I've had more time than I would have had, and I've done the things I wanted to; I've held my grandchildren, found my little girl again, and seen my baby girl happy with the man she's always wanted, I can go now, I'm ready. You can let me go, I'll be fine, I promise, and so will you!"

He looked up, and I followed the direction of his gaze, to see Lena standing in the patio door, her hand pressed against her lips and her eyes wide with shock and loss.

"Lena..." he started, and suddenly she was on the lounger next to him, her arms around his neck as she cried into his shoulder. Dad rocked and soothed her like he used to when she was three, murmuring to her as he rocked her against him. As he rocked her, her sobs gradually diminished, until finally she was able to sit up and look at him again, her eyes puffy and red-rimmed, but clear of tears. He grinned at her.

"That's better; big girls don't cry, baby-girl!" 

"Daddy, how are we going..." she began, but dad silenced her with a finger on her lips.

"Shush, baby-girl, and listen. I was telling Darryl it's time for me to go; not this instant, but soon; I have everything I needed from both of you now, so I can go knowing I didn't leave any loose ends for you to tie up. When I'm gone, I want you to take your mother home, okay? Don't leave her here alone, she's going to need you, and I know you both need her. I want you both to know I love you, and I always will love you, and I'm proud of you both, and happy that you're both so happy together. You both found that special person, and I know you'll always be happy together, so I'm happy. Be well, children!" 

He stood up and gave Lena his hand as she stood up, and hugged her again.

"I love you daddy!" she murmured.

"And I love you too, baby-girl!" he said, then held out his arm for me, hugging me as he hugged Lena. With that, there was no more to be said, so we walked inside, where we met Lizzie, who'd obviously been waiting for us to finish saying good bye. Dad also hugged her wordlessly, holding her head close to him as she cried soundlessly, saying her own goodbye. After a while, dad began whispering in her ear, Lizzie nodding occasionally, then dad smiled and smoothed her hair, and Lizzie smiled back through her tears before hugging him once more.

We walked dad to his room, where mum waited. She somehow knew what had just transpired, and kissed all three of us silently, a quick peck and a quick brush on the cheek with her hand, then we left to go back to our rooms and our beds. 

Once in bed, I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours, the conversation with dad turning over and over in my mind, and when sleep did come, it was fitful and restless. Lena fared no better, the baby waking on cue and needing to be fed, so what with one thing or another, we finally fell asleep at close to 4 a.m. 

I'd been asleep for what felt like only a few minutes when a soft knocking at the door jarred me awake. Lena woke with a start, her eyes wide and frightened. Trying to convey that it was nothing to be alarmed about, I slid out of bed and opened the door, to see mum standing there.

"Dar, could you come with me, please?" she asked, her voice calm, but her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Lena...?"

My heart sank as I realised why she wanted us. I picked up my stethoscope from my flight bag and followed her, while Lena scooped up David and tagged in behind me.

When we got to their room I immediately went to dad's bedside. He appeared to be sound asleep, his face peaceful, relaxed and untroubled, almost young-looking, no sign of any trauma, but one glance told me all I needed to know. I followed procedure anyway, checking for his pulse at wrist, carotid, and breast while tears blurred my eyesight. No breath sounds, no pulse, no heartbeat, and the signs of lividity already beginning to appear. I looked at Lena and she began keening, mum immediately holding her and the baby as they both cried together. He was still warm; his poor, damaged heart must have finally given out just a little while ago. He'd gone in his sleep, so at least I could be grateful for small mercies; there had been no long, drawn-out battle with his illness, no suffering stretched into an eternity of choking and gasping for breath. Some comfort, but not much, not when I wanted my dad so much; I didn't want him gone peacefully, I wanted him back, now. But he was gone, and we were left to do the last things he had asked of us. I leaned over and placed his hands on his chest, straightened his bedclothes, and kissed him one last time. I looked up and Lizzie was in the doorway.

"Is he..?" she whispered, and I nodded. Two big tears ran down her cheeks, then mum was there to include her in her hug, the three of them surrounding the baby as they mourned our loss. Lena broke away from mum and Lizzie to place David in my arms as she leaned down to hug dad and kiss him one last time, then sat next to me on the bed, her hand finding its way into mine. 

I was feeling strange; I had officiated at a few deaths in my career so far, an inevitable consequence of being a doctor, and I had so far managed to maintain a degree of clinical detachment, and now that professionalism was taking over, directing me in what to do next; with a shock I realised dad had been right; I was the man of the family now, not a boy any more, and there were calls to make, wheels to set in motion, arrangements to be made, and it was my responsibility to make sure the right things happened, the way dad would have wanted them done. 

I scanned through the notes file and found the number of the doctor who was dad's specialist at the hospital, and put in a call to him. After a few rings, he answered, more asleep than awake, and I told him dad was gone. He promised me he was on his way, and hung up. Now I didn't know what to do next, I had no plan until the doctor arrived, and when mum sat down next to me and brushed my hair off my face, that was when I could finally stop being professional, and start mourning my dad.

Mum held me while I cried for him, for all the things I'd wanted to tell him and never had the chance, for all the things his grandchildren would say, and do, and be, things he would never be a part of now, and for my own loss. Mum held me close while I cried myself out, Lena joining me, her hand soft and gentle in mine as she shared my grief and loss.

The wheels gathered momentum as the machinery of death swung into action; death certificate, Chapel of Rest, funeral service and burial. The RAF base at Akrotiri sent six Royal Air Force servicemen in full dress to act as pallbearers, a last gift from his friends and a mark of respect to an ex-RAF serviceman, and a wreath from the Cyprus branch of the Royal British Legion. We laid dad to rest in Dhekelia Military Cemetery in Larnaca, in the Eastern Sovereign Base Area of the island. 

I was numb through the whole thing, mouthing responses through the service, and mechanically throwing that symbolic handful of dirt onto the coffin; none of us was ready to say goodbye to him, and even though his illness had numbered his days, none of us had really believed it would ever come to this; Dad was...dad, solid as a rock, father, husband, sometimes judgemental, sometimes stern, sometimes angry, always dependable, usually placid and fair-minded, and always, always there when we needed him; a normal man, the bedrock of our family, and the one certainty in my life as I grew up, and now he was gone. 

That gaping hole in my life I had anticipated when he first told us he was dying was now there for real, and it felt like nothing could ever fill it again; then my baby son held my finger as I held him, his tiny hand gripping me tight, and I realised that the hole dad's passing had left in our lives would gradually fill and heal over as family and life and loved ones rushed in to seal the breach and make us whole again. I smiled as that realisation finally hit home, and Lena, always in tune with me, smiled as well through her tears as she shared in my epiphany.

At the house afterwards, after the last of the mourners and well-wishers had left, we sat and looked around, subtle reminders of dad everywhere, but it was more wistful than grieving; dad was gone, but we were still here, and we were still a family; we had each other, we had mum, and there was still the promise and life of the children to look forward to yet. Dad had left behind a complete family, and that was something he could be proud of. 

Eventually Lena left to feed the baby, and mum accompanied her to help, and hold the baby afterwards. Allie came and sat next to me and pulled my arm up and over her shoulders so she could snuggle up against me. Marcus was looking lost, pale and exhausted, so Lizzie took him to put him in bed, leaving just Allie and me to sit in silence. Eventually Allie broke the silence.

"Darryl, who are you? I mean really? Mum says you're Aunt Emma's nephew, Lena says you're her boyfriend, so does Nana, but today, it was like you were more than that; like you were something else, someone everyone loves but no-one wants to talk about. Nana's always touching your face or brushing your hair back when she thinks no-one's looking, and she acts like she's your mum. Grandad was Lena and mum's dad, but it was like he was your dad as well, not just your girlfriend's dad, so tell me; really, who are you? 'Cos I'm really confused..."

I was momentarily wrong-footed; Allies sharp eyes had seen things, and now her sharp little brain was busily making connections.

A movement caught my eye, and I looked up to see Lizzie in the doorway, her eyes wide and wondering. As she looked into my eyes, she nodded slightly, giving me permission to tell my story, then turned and left just as silently. I understood her reasoning immediately; if Allie was old enough to ask, she was old enough to know the truth. 

"Allie," I began, "What I'm telling you now is for you only; if you can't solemnly swear to keep this to yourself forever, then I'm not saying another word, do you understand me?"

She looked at me with big eyes, obviously impressed with what I was asking of her, then nodded slowly.

"I promise, Darryl!" she whispered.

"Thank you Allie!" I said, and smiled as she grinned back.

"A long time ago, a boy fell in love with a girl; he was six years old, she was only five, but he knew even then that he loved her. They spent all their time together, grew up together, and loved each other very much. When he was a young man, he decided that he'd become a soldier, so he joined the army. One day he and the girl found out they were having a baby, and they were really happy, but then a war came along; he was a soldier, so he had to go, but he promised to come back soon. He never did; he was killed in a place called East Falkland. The girl had the baby, but she couldn't bring him up alone; she was too young, and it hurt her too much to think she'd never have her young man to help her with their son; so she gave the baby to her dad to bring up, and she left."

Allie was looking at me in confusion, trying to understand where I was going with this.

"The name of the boy was Robert Darryl Fraser; he was your Aunt Emma' older brother, and the girl was Elisabeth Evana Morgan. The baby was given his father's middle name, and he was brought up by Elisabeth's father."

Allie was looking at me in silence, her lips moving, wheels turning and clicking inside her head, until suddenly her eyes widened.

"You mean..?" and I smiled at her.

"Robert and Elisabeth's son was named Darryl. That was me. Your mum was only a teenager when she had me, she was too young, and too frightened, to bring me up, so she gave me to her dad, your grandad, to bring up. He's always just been 'dad' to me, and your Nana is my mum as far as I'm concerned."

Allie was sitting up and staring at me now.

"Let me get this straight; my mum is...your mum too? Wow!"

She leaned back again and chewed her lip, until another thought suddenly made her sit bolt upright.

"Wait a second there, just hold on a second! Lena's my mum's sister, so she's my aunt; you're my...big brother, so...Lena's your aunt too! Wow again! This is going to put the skids under the shit-cart!"

I looked at her in bemusement to hear something that dad used to say come out of her mouth, and started to rebuke her when she grinned winsomely at me.

"Sorry Darryl, mum says I shouldn't talk like that, it just slipped out! What does mum have to say about this, 'cos now I don't know if David's my cousin or my nephew!"

I put my arm around her, my littlest sister, and hugged her to me.

"Remember what you promised, Allie; David is always only ever going to be your cousin, okay? What I told you is a secret, and no-one, not even Marcus, can ever know; it's about family, our family, you, me, Marcus, Lena, everyone. Your mum knows she can't be my mum, not really, so to me and the rest of the world she's always going to be my girl's big sister, and you'll be my girlfriend's nosy, noisy, annoying, perfect little niece; I'll always be your big brother though, and I'll always be there for my little sister and brother, but only you'll know why; it'll be our secret, okay?" 

Allie looked up at me quizzically.

"Do you love her? Lena, I mean."

I smiled back down at her.

"With all my heart; I love Lena, and she loves me. Why?"

Allie grinned impudently.

"Then none of that really matters, does it? Lena has you, I have you, Nana has you and Lena, and mum has all of us, case closed!"

I was astonished at the way she cut to the heart of it, at her clarity of vision; she was completely right, of course, and something told me I been right to tell her; she'd never blab, she understood that this was about our family, and no-one else needed to know. 

She suddenly giggled, and grinned up at me when I looked enquiringly at her.

"Mum must be seriously bugged she has a grandson! Best not to remind her, though, she'd probably have a complete spaz-attack if you mention she's a granny!"

*

When I made my way to the bedroom, David was already down, and Lena was waiting for me, her eyes glowing in the dim light.

"I heard what you said to Allie; thank you, baby, she's a good girl, and now she knows she has a big brother to rely on as well; I'm proud of you, Dar, you handled it like daddy would have, well done!"

I climbed into bed and reached over to hug Lena, to discover she was naked under the covers. My cock immediately stirred with interest; it was still far too soon to start having sex, but there were other things, and from the look in her eye she'd worked out exactly what they were! She slid over to me and held me close, kissing my chest and neck. I stiffened slightly, and Lena stopped what she was doing and reached up to stroke my face

"I know we only buried daddy today, but I don't think it would be disrespectful if we loved each other tonight; life goes on, Dar, and daddy loved us at least as much as we loved him; I think he'd be okay with us getting back into our lives now!"

She made sense, and it did feel right; we loved each other, and now, here in our father's house, we needed to reaffirm that love to each other. Sensing the tenor of my thoughts, Lena resumed kissing and nibbling my chest as she worked her way down my abdomen, until her lips once more enfolded my straining cock head in the feeling of moist heat. I slipped onto my back as Lena sucked me as she simultaneously squeezed my shaft, both sensations making my thighs and stomach muscles jump and quiver with the strain of holding back from emptying myself into her mouth in a single hot torrent of spunk. 

Lena sucked, and licked, and squeezed, and I held back, by the skin of my teeth, savouring the experience, but when she massaged my scrotum with her free hand, lightly scratching the underside with one long, slow scraping fingernail, I came like a train, spurting jet after jet of semen into her hot and willing mouth as I smothered my shout of ecstatic fulfilment with a pillow so as not to wake the whole house!

As I quivered and twitched in stress reaction, Lena slid up next to my and bit me lightly on the chin.

"Don't get too comfortable, stud, you haven't finished yet!" she whispered. I grinned and pulled her to me, my hands going to her lovely peach bottom, a delectable globe in each hand as I pulled her on top of me.

"What do you want to do, princess?" I whispered, and for answer she slid off me to lie face down on the bed, holding her buttocks spread open for me. 

"Taste me, Dar, I want you to eat me, I need it so bad!" she whispered.

I moved down between her spread thighs and squeezed her plush, satiny bum-cheeks, lifting her by her hips as I slid down to push my face between those beautiful globes and lick her moist, tangy pussy hidden in the depths there. Lena lifted her hips with a sigh and slid a pillow under her pelvis to keep her bum in the air, making it easier to reach my target with my tongue. As I licked and gently ran the flat of my tongue over her vulva, Lena sighed and whispered each time I did something she especially liked, her thighs tensing and her feet drumming on the bed when I poked and probed her clitoris with the tip of my tongue.

"Oh God, yess, do that, do that again!" she hissed, and I obliged, flicking her hard little pearl with my tongue, drawing an "Ooohhh!" each time I did it. Finally, I slid my hand under her so I could rub her clitoris with the pad of my thumb while I licked and pushed my tongue into her pussy, licking and separating the labia as I gently slotted my tongue into her. Lena was gasping and hissing as I stimulated her, and I could feel her climax drawing close as she trembled and quivered with each darting attack of my tongue-tip inside her. Her little anus was winking and contracting as her vulva reacted to what I was doing, calling to me and begging for some attention, and when I rubbed her clitoris while simultaneously shoving my tongue into her pucker as hard as I could, she shrieked into her pillow as she came in a thundering orgasm, her entire body shuddering and quivering as the waves of pleasure raged and surged inside her. Her anus contracted sharply, forcing my tongue out, so I pushed it into her vulva as hard as I could, drawing another groan from her as another surge of orgasmic pleasure crashed inside her.

"No Dar, no more, no more, please Dar, stop, I can't...no more...!" she gabbled as her orgasm billowed and surged inside her, until finally she slumped down bonelessly tears leaking from the corners of her tight-shut eyes.




Big Girls Don't Cry Ch. 04



I slid back up next to her and held her close while the aftershock tails of orgasm whipped and curled through her, her body quivering and twitching as the adrenaline overload gradually dissipated. Finally she drew a ragged breath as she turned to grin sleepily at me.

"Bloody hell, Dar, if I could bottle however you do what you do to me I'd make a bloody fortune! Thank you baby, I needed that, now I can rest tonight. Love you, Dar!"

I squeezed her close to me as she reached out to adjust the baby's blanket in his cot next to the bed, and fell asleep almost immediately. I held her while I breathed the scent of her hair, remembering our days together when we were younger, and the workings of fate that had put her here, with me, right now. Thinking of Lena, I fell asleep, and dreamed of dad, and mum, and Lena when she was small, when we'd still been close, before my thoughtless immaturity had almost destroyed that closeness forever.

*

Before we left for home, I had one more conversation I needed to have with mum; actually it was one we all needed to have with her. Lena eventually cornered her and led her to the sitting room where the rest of the family was gathered; I love that word; family; so much weight of meaning in one small word.

As duly elected spokesperson I was shoved forward to speak for the group.

"Mum, now that dad's gone, we, none of us, want you to stay here alone; come home, mum, you have a home and a family, we need you, the baby will need you, I know Allie, Marcus and Lizzie need you, and I will always need my mum. Please come home, I know I speak for the whole family when I say we can't bear the thought of leaving you here alone."

Mum looked at us, at all the faces waiting for her answer.

"Darryl, I have a job here, I can't just leave...what about your father, I can't just leave him here alone...!"

Lena spoke up, cutting across her objections.

"Mum, I know daddy's here, and he's among his old friends, and I know you don't want to leave him, so we'll leave him to rest until the time is right, and when you're ready, we'll bring him home so he can be near us again."

"Sweethearts, I appreciate what you're saying, but your dad's here, my job and my home...!"

I spoke again, and I had a special surprise for her.

"Mum, if you're worried about your job, your old one is waiting for you back at in Bristol; I spoke with the Senior Registrar, he's not happy with the Agency staff who've been running the Renal Unit, and if you're willing, he's happy to put you back on staff, with your time away listed as Illness Leave of Absence, so you'll never actually have left. How about it, mum, come home, please, you have a home with Lena and me, with all of us, not here by yourself!" 

Mum looked down for the longest time, while we looked on and waited for her answer. At long last she raised her head and smiled, even though her cheeks were tear-stained.

"All right, children, I will; just promise me that we'll bring your father home as soon as possible."

FINIS.

________________________________

Footnote:

We brought dad home six months later, and he was finally laid to rest in Arnos Vale, so now both my father's slept near each other. We had a proper funeral, so Doreen and poor Aunt Min were able to say their final farewells to their baby brother. Lena and I had decided to get married, but we couldn't do that in the UK; luckily a solution presented itself when friends got married on holiday in Las Vegas, so we made a lightning visit to Reno, where we were legally married in the courthouse on Court Street. 

Mum took care of David while we made our whistle-stop visit to America, but I will admit to not being completely happy and at ease until I had my son in my arms again. Lena was even worse; we'd been gone four days, but to Lena it had felt like half a lifetime away from David, and she was wracked with guilt for leaving her baby behind; she almost snatched him from mum when she picked us up at the airport and spent the journey home crooning and crying over him; David just watched her in what I felt sure was genuine puzzlement; while we were away I'm sure mum would have spoiled him rotten, something she won't admit to under torture. 

Now that we were legally married, we could have the white wedding Lena had always dreamed of and mum had almost given up on. We were married in church in Clifton, our home, with the white dress for Lena, the cake and Reception, Allie was her bridesmaid, Lizzie was Matron of Honour, and Marcus was our page-boy, all the trappings of the classic White Wedding. All my family was here, Aunts Doreen and Min, Emma and her family, and I even received a congratulatory telemessage and a wedding gift from my aunt in Australia, Emma's youngest sister. The only people missing were the other part of my family, my aunt Lois and her children Julie and Mark; I'd not been able to find out anything more about them apart from that snippet about Julie being injured when she was thirteen, but I promised myself; one day I would make a proper, concerted effort to put my family back together; Julie and Mark must have medical records somewhere, one of the National Health Trusts in London must be responsible for their care, I promised myself I'd dig a little deeper once we had everything back to normal around here; I cared for Emma, and she was hurting for those two lost kids, maybe one day I would be able to do something about that.