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Step by Step

By: deepemerald



Camilla was a short, blonde bombshell. When she graduated from high school she decided not to go on to college as she'd never been academically inclined, but got herself an apprenticeship with a florist instead. She thrived in the artistic environment and as soon as she finished her training she borrowed money from her parents to set up her own shop. That's when disaster struck. Her mother was killed in a car accident, leaving Camilla with the only father she'd ever known, 40-year old Gerard.

The two helped each other through the grief and slowly adapted to the new life. Gerard went on a few dates, but he didn't seem interested in any new women. Camilla dated occasionally, but although she wasn't a virgin she didn't seem to date anyone long enough to get to the point of having sex with them. Unbeknownst to each other, they were getting increasingly frustrated with the lack of sexual satisfaction in their lives.

One night Camilla had been watching a saucy episode of her favourite TV-show and her pussy was dripping wet as she headed off to bed. She got her "rabbit" out of its hiding space and moistened it with her slippery pussy juices. She undressed and lay on top of her bed, fucking herself with her toy, not noticing that Gerard came home. 

As he entered the house he heard some peculiar sounds from Camilla's bedroom so he walked towards her door. The door hadn't been properly closed so he opened it slightly, expecting to see Camilla fucking some boyfriend. His cock stood to immediate attention when he realised that she was masturbating. She sounded so hot and looked even hotter from his vantage point, looking straight between her shapely thighs. He watched her squeeze her firm tits tights and moving the buzzing pink toy in her cunt as it stimulated both her clit and her fuck hole. 

He surprised himself by wishing that it was HIM holding the rabbit. That thought caught him off guard and he quickly moved to his own bedroom. But he couldn't get rid of the mental image of Camilla fucking herself. He logged on to his computer and went to his favourite porn site and searched for blondes masturbating, but none of them looked as sexy as his stepdaughter. 

That's when he knew why he hadn't been able to find satisfaction since his wife had died. He wanted Camilla. He knew that he didn't want her as a replacement for her mother, as his wife had been tall, dark and slim. Camilla took after the travelling salesman that her hotel receptionist mother had had a one-night-stand with. Gerard had been Camilla's dad since she was 2 years old and until tonight he'd just seen her as the little girl in pigtails. But now it finally dawned on him that she was a highly sexual adult. And she was the woman he desired.

As he let his hand do the job he fantasised Camilla's cunt or mouth would soon do, he started making a plan. He was going to fuck Camilla, but he didn't want to scare her off by slipping into her bed tonight (even though that was what his cock was begging him to do). He had to plan this carefully so that she slowly came around to his way of thinking.

Camilla's shop was still in its infancy and as a carpenter Gerard knew that he could do a lot to help her. One morning he asked Camilla what she needed doing and he made a plan to do it all. He made sure that he got there just before closing so that they'd be alone together. Then he asked Camilla to come and help him with various tasks. He was perfectly able to do all the work without an assistant, but he asked her to help him hold things in place and when both her hands were occupied he brushed past her, "inadvertently" resting his cock against her ass, or his arm against her tits. He pretended not to notice when Camilla got a bit flushed by the intimate touches.

When they were alone together in the evenings he deliberately chose to watch movies with steamy love scenes and chuckled quietly to himself as Camilla squirmed next to him. After she went to bed he snuck up to her door, opened it quietly and watched her masturbate herself to sleep. It was painful to watch her using her toys on her hot snatch and not join her, but he didn't think she was ready for it yet.

For the next few weeks he kept making excuses to spend time with Camilla and there was an increasing amount of "accidental" body contact. Gerard started noticing that his touches were having an effect on his stepdaughter. Her nipples would stiffen through the fabric of her bras and he felt a surge in his crotch as he noticed how big they were, like cherries crowning huge ice-cream sundaes. He imagined fucking those delicious tits and cumming in her mouth.

Then he started going straight to the kitchen to make his breakfast, before his morning stiffy had settled down and he noticed to his satisfaction that Camilla's eyes were drawn to his sizeable bulge. He knew that it wasn't the size of the cock that mattered, but what he did with it, but he'd found that just like men are drawn to huge tits, so are women attracted by a generously sized cock and his thick 8½ inches had received a lot of interest in the past.

Soon something interesting started happening. Camilla started playing along with his game. Soon it wasn't just him brushing past her, but her bending over and resting her tits against his arm. Soon she started wearing tight shorts around the house, with cropped tops, asking him to hold the ladder as she climbed it to get something, giving him ample opportunity to stare up her top and see that she wasn't wearing a bra. His cock ached, begging him to throw her on the floor and fuck her senseless. He knew that she was ready to be seduced and had started playing with him. Now he wanted to make her beg.

One night Camilla had been out with her girlfriends. When she came home he did exactly what she'd done a few weeks earlier, the incident that had started his obsession with her. He'd left his bedroom door slightly ajar and started stroking his cock as he heard her enter. By this time he was so horny for Camilla that he only had to think of her to make his cock stand to attention and he started stroking it vigorously. He moaned out loud for good measure and soon noticed a shadow outside his door. He made sure his full size was visible to her and the thought of her watching him excited him so much he shot a huge load onto his stomach. He kept stroking his cock after he came until the shadow disappeared from his door and into her own room.

The next week the tension between stepdad and daughter increased a hundredfold. It was coming up to Camilla's 21st birthday and Gerard decided that it would be the day. He snuck into Camilla's bedroom to check her underwear size and then he drove to a sexy lingerie shop. He could've spent a fortune in there, but settled for a few very sexy pieces. He bought a baby blue babydoll with furry edges and matching g-strings. He then picked up a transparent black bra and French brief set. Then he got daring and picked up a red bra with holes for the nipples and matching open-crotch pants. Finally, on a whim, he picked a remote control egg that he thought he might enjoy using on his sexy stepdaughter.

On Camilla's birthday Gerard was up early and made them breakfast. It was a Saturday and Camilla had left her assistant in charge of the shop for the weekend. When she walked into the kitchen Gerard kissed her lightly on the lips and gave her a gift.

"Thanks, dad!" she said with a smile, expecting something practical as he always gave her practical gifts.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," he said and smiled expectantly as she opened her gift.

Her eyes opened wide as she realised what the blue fabric was. "Th-thank you," she stuttered. "It's gorgeous."

"You're gorgeous, darling," he said, careful to sound like a dad who'd just bought his daughter a sweater, and not the horny guy trying to get himself laid. "Why don't you try it on and model it for me."

It didn't take her long to return and Gerard was struck by how sexy she looked. The babydoll seemed to be serving up her luscious tits on a tray and the sheer fabric left very little to the imagination. He had to pinch himself to stop himself from picking her up and carrying her to bed. He handed her a second parcel.

"Here's another gift."

She ripped it open and found the black garments. She suppressed a smile. "Shall I try these on as well?"

"If you want to."

Damn, she's hot, was his thought when she walked back in. She was short and curvy without being fat. The transparent black material made her nipples look dark and inviting and her clean shaven slit looked ever so inviting in the minimal undergarment. He smiled and handed her another parcel. She didn't even bother unwrapping it before him, but simply took it to her room. He adjusted his crotch in anticipation. She took longer this time, but it was well worth the wait when she showed up, stark naked apart from the straps that surrounded her tits and the fabric that framed her pussy.

"You like the way your little girl looks, daddy?" she asked innocently.

"Daddy's little girl is very pretty," he said nonchalantly. "In fact, here's another birthday gift for you."

"I must have been a good girl," she mused, fully aware of where his gaze was fixed as she unwrapped the egg.

"Why don't you put that somewhere safe while I serve your breakfast," Gerard said and turned his back on her.

Camilla rose to the challenge and didn't even exit the kitchen. Her pussy was dripping wet by now and the crotchless pants were ideal for slipping things into her cunt. She sat down and moaned lightly as the delicious egg made its presence known. She'd wanted Gerard since she was old enough to fuck, and she'd realised for a while now that he wanted her as well. His presents had taken her by surprise, but now she was enjoying the game and eager to see what he'd planned next.

She didn't have to wait long. As they tucked into their food Gerard's hand slipped into his pocket and all of a sudden she felt the egg starting to vibrate inside her. It was wonderful. She struggled not to moan and even more to continue eating her breakfast. She was starving, but it wasn't for food. Her pussy was on fire and she could feel a puddle forming on her chair.

"Are you OK?" Gerard asked casually.

"Yes," she managed to say, all too aware that her face was bright red. "You?"

"Very well, thank you."

His hand slipped into his pocket again and the vibrations in her pussy intensified. She stopped pretending to eat. The pleasure was intense. She was breathing heavily. Her firm tits bounced up and down as she tried to control her breathing, her nipples were hard and her chest flushed. Gerard smiled and flicked the switch in his pocket to maximum. She grabbed hold of the table and started moaning.

"Oh... Oooooooooh... Yes..." she moaned.

Her hips started gyrating on the chair. She grabbed her tits with her hands and massaged them, pushing one up so that she could suck and bite her nipple.

"Want me to stop?" Gerard asked.

"Fuck no!" she cried out. "Don't stop... Oh... more... Yes, daddy... more!!!!!"

He moved around the table and kneeled on the floor behind her chair. He kissed her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her.

"You're putting on quite a performance for daddy, baby," he whispered. "I'm so proud of you."

She moaned in reply. He reached for her pussy lips and parted them. Her clit was engorged and bright red as he placed his finger on it and started teasing it.

"I want you to cum for daddy now, baby," he said softly and started circling her clit with his finger.

"Mmmmmmmm..." she moaned louder. "Not long now..."

"Cum, baby. Cum for daddy."

"Oh..." she groaned. "I'm cummmmmmmming!"

She started shaking as she surrendered to the intense pleasure.

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddy!"

Her body arched and she wrapped her arms around him as her orgasm intensified.

When she finally stopped cumming he pulled her up and kissed her on the tip of her nose.

"Bend forward, baby," he said and she did as she was told. His fingers soon found the string and he had to give it a tug for her satisfied cunt to release it. "I might let you borrow this again, if you're a good girl."

He then cleared the table and started doing the dishes. He soon felt Camilla's presence behind him.

"Was that it?" she asked.

"Weren't those enough birthday presents?" he pretended to be hurt.

"Oh, they were lovely," she admitted. "It just feels like such a shame to let them go to waste."

"To waste?"

"Well yeah, I don't have a boyfriend, so who's going to see me in all those gorgeous outfits?"

"That's a good question," he admitted. "I didn't think of that when I bought them."

"And much as that egg was very nice, it made me really horny and I don't think it's a good idea in this day and age for a young girl like me to go out looking for one-night-stands."

"You're very sensible, darling."

"So maybe you can help me, daddy..."

"I'm always happy to help you, sweetheart. What can I do for you?"

"Well, seeing how I'm really horny and don't have a boyfriend... And you don't have a girlfriend either... Maybe we could help each other."

"I'm listening."

"You could satisfy me with that great big cock of yours and I could satisfy you with my cunt."

"You want your daddy to fuck you?" he sounded shocked and enjoyed the brief look of insecurity on her face.

"Well..." she started but was interrupted by him as he finished his sentence.

"...without sucking my cock first?"

She dropped on her knees and unzipped his jeans. He thought the look of his member on her red lips was going to make him cum immediately, but he managed to hold back. She'd obviously sucked cock before. Her hands expertly worked the base of his shaft and his balls as her tongue and lips did their thing. He had to grab hold of the edge of the worktop so as not to fall into a heap on the floor as she teased his manhood. She quickly let him slide out of her mouth and continued working him with her hand as she sucked his balls and teased them with her tongue. Then she deepthroated him. She was delicious. He'd never received such an enthusiastic blowjob in his life. It was better than anything he'd ever seen in a porn movie. He didn't blink for fear of missing any part of this sexy experience. He'd never cum in a woman's mouth before, but this time he was too caught up in watching his nubile stepdaughter sucking him off that he forgot to pull out. He moaned out loud and started shooting his load deep into her throat. And she swallowed every drop of it.

"You tasted yummy," she smiled and licked her lips as she finally let go of him. She stood up and kissed him deeply and he could taste the salty remains of his cum. Damn that was hot!

"You're daddy's wonderful little cock sucker, aren't you," he smiled and grabbed her ass.

"I'm glad you liked it, daddy," she smiled and took his hand. "But now it's my turn."

"Your turn?"

"To be fucked. I want you to fuck me, daddy. I've waited for this for three long years. Fuck me today. Fuck your little girl, daddy."

She walked him to her bedroom that still had the pink furniture she'd favoured as a girl and he found the innocent décor an immense turn-on. He grabbed her from behind and massaged her tits before taking her garments off. They'd been a great prop, but now he wanted her naked. She then helped him undress and soon they embraced, skin to skin. His hairy chest was rough against her naked nipples, but it only seemed to turn her on more. His cock was semi-erect again, pressed against her soft tummy. Their hands discovered each other's body as their kisses deepened. Soon he moved them onto the bed and their limbs were entwined.

She grinded her wet pussy against his leg at the same time as she stroked his rapidly hardening cock. They didn't speak, but their moans echoed in the sunlit room. Soon he pinned her under his body and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Without much effort at all he penetrated her, sighing with her moan as his thick shaft filled her tight little cunt. Once he was burrowed deep inside her he slowly pulled out until only his head was left inside. Then he slammed inside her again, crashing his pubic bone against her clit. They both cried out with pleasure.

He picked up the pace. Soon he was fucking her fast and furiously. Her wet cunt made splashing noises every time he plunged inside her and he could smell the sex in the air. He stopped briefly to allow her a chance to place her legs across his shoulders. It made her even tighter around his cock. She was delicious. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had such a tight fuck. She rubbed her clit furiously as he fucked her faster and harder.

Then she came. She cried out loud for her daddy and he continued slamming into her. He'd just cum in her mouth so he had plenty to go before he could cum again. When her shivering cunt had finished cumming he pulled out. He got her up on her knees and kissed her deeply. Then he made her get on her hands and knees. Her pussy was swollen and wet as he watched her from behind. He teased her asshole with his finger and worried her slightly before he drove his cock back inside her cunt. He was balls deep now. He moaned with satisfaction and grabbed her hips tight, grinding his cock inside her, feeling every part of her and making sure she felt every inch of his hard meat in her tight cunt.

He then started fucking her from behind. The wet splashes were louder now and her ass cheeks soon got red from the contact between them and his hips. She groaned with each thrust. She grabbed hold of the headboard and he moaned with delight as he caught sight of her bouncing tits in the mirror. This was so hot. He was fucking the hottest babe he could imagine and the little slut was no other than the girl who'd been his daughter for 19 years.

He reached for her tits and started kneading them. He tweaked her nipples and grabbed her tits hard. He knew that she'd be bruised after their love making, but she didn't seem to mind. In fact, she seemed to get off from the roughness as much as he did.

She reached down for her clit. She started massaging it vigorously. Soon she came again, her cunt squeezing his cock tight. It was delicious. He knew that he didn't have far to go now, but he wanted one more thing.

"Ride me, baby," he said as he pulled out of her dripping cunt. "Ride your daddy's shaft."

He lay on his back and she straddled him. His cock glistened in the sun that shone through the window as she pulled her pussy lips wide apart and slowly lowered herself on to his shaft. She used her powerful thigh muscles to move up and down his cock and he started kneading her tits again. She leaned forward so that he could suck her nipples. He sucked them, bit them and sucked them again. She rode him hard. She was insatiable. She didn't seem to be able to get enough of his cock.

He felt a familiar feeling in his balls. He was ready. Now he just needed her with him. He let go of her tits and reached for her pussy. It was bright pink, swollen and dripping wet and she moaned with pleasure when he found her clit.

"Cum for daddy," he whispered as he started rubbing her pink button.

She rode him faster and harder. He kept massaging her clit. Soon he could feel the increasing pressure on his cock and when she cried out in ecstasy he finally released his load and shot it straight up her cunt.

When they both finished cumming she collapsed onto his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Then he carefully rolled onto his side and they both fell asleep, his cock still in her cunt.

An hour later they woke up and made love before they hit the shower, where Gerard fucked Camilla against the tiles. They lost count of how many times they fucked that day, Camilla's 21st birthday. They were still sore the next morning, but it didn't stop them from fucking some more. They had to drag themselves off to work on the Monday, even though they could hardly walk by then. They lived as lovers until a neighbour happened upon them, fucking in the backyard one afternoon. It caused a bit of a scandal in their small town and they were forced to sell their businesses and move to another part of the country. They're married now and nobody, not even their two kids, know that they started off as stepdad and stepdaughter, but in their intimate moments Camilla still calls Gerard daddy.

Step By Step



Brenda looked around the room at the other people in the circle, wondering if they'd felt the same as her the first time they'd come to one of these meetings. There weren't many of them--just four plus "Heidi K", the woman in charge of the group--but even admitting her problem to just five people made her blush hotly with shame.

Only the expression on their faces kept her from running. She looked at them and saw not just sympathy, but understanding. They knew how she felt; they knew what kind of chaos her life had become. Maybe they'd felt just as nervous as her when they'd attended their first meeting, maybe they'd also gotten sweaty palms and butterflies in their stomach, but they'd stuck it out and come back. If they could do it, she could do it.

Brenda stood up. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, but the memory of taking deep breaths to calm herself had too many associations that made her nervous all over again. The others in the group smiled encouragingly at her, and Heidi said, "It's all right, Brenda. Nobody's here to judge you."

Brenda nodded. "Hi," she said. "My name's Brenda, and I'm addicted to hypnosis."

"Hi, Brenda," the rest of the group chorused.

After saying that first part, the rest started to come a bit easier. "I guess I really started to get interested in hypnosis as a kid," she said. "Not just hypnosis, mind control in general. I was a big comic book fan when I was little," and she saw the two guys both nod their heads in sympathy, "and there were some stories in there...I was too young to really understand what I was feeling, but it made me feel funny in a way that I couldn't describe. I'd read about evil supervillains controlling the minds of beautiful women, and I wondered why they'd always just use them to rob a bank or try to kill the hero instead of..." She shrugged. "I didn't know what 'instead of' was, back when I was eleven, but I knew there was something."

That got a few chuckles from the group, but they didn't interrupt her story. "And then when I was a teenager, I started reading vampire stories." That got everyone nodding, even Heidi. "Most girls my age were fantasizing about the New Kids on the Block--me, I had my first orgasm masturbating while reading Bram Stoker's 'Dracula'." She felt the blush creeping all the way up her face to her forehead, but Brenda knew she had to be honest with somebody if she was ever going to beat this thing.

"And for a long time, it was just like that--a fantasy I had. I'd imagine a sinister man with dark eyes, eyes that swallowed me up and made me go all...blank and empty..." She saw it on their faces, that little twitch as they tried to control their own arousal at the thought. Some people hid it better than others. Lois, the girl with the glasses, visibly pressed her knees together and sat up ramrod straight in her chair. "I had fantasies about vampires--that was when I first realized I was bisexual, when I read 'Carmilla'. But it was all just make-believe, just harmless, and it stayed that way for a long time."

Even with what she'd already admitted, the next bit was difficult for Brenda. She swallowed hard, and said, "Then I discovered the Internet. I mean, I knew it existed before that, obviously, but...I found some websites, stuff about hypnosis. I found some forums, and I..." She let out a long, trembling breath. "I found out that there was such a thing as real erotic hypnosis. There were people out there who could really hypnotize you, just like in all the stories I'd read...and written...and it really turned them on too, just like it did me. Like it does me."

Just remembering it right now turned her on, even if fear and shame conspired to mute the feeling a little. "I found my first hypnosis mp3 about six years ago. It was by a man calling himself 'The Operator', it was supposed to bring you to orgasm. I...I listened to it without even checking to see if there were any hidden suggestions. I just couldn't help myself; it was all my fantasies come to life right there, a guy hypnotizing me and making me cum with just his voice, and it was right there in front of me. It worked, too." Her gaze grew slightly distant as she remembered just how intense that orgasm had been, the silky-smooth voice coaxing her hands to rub her clit, the way that his words had seemed to caress her nipples as though he had invisible hands...she broke away from the memory with an effort.

"I remember noticing that there were other suggestions in there, ones that reduced my resistance and increased my susceptibility to hypnosis. I told myself they didn't work, that I just liked getting off on the fantasy. I listened to it three more times that day, and at least once a day after that." She saw Sasha, the dark-haired girl, seeming to gaze off into the distance herself, and wondered if she'd heard the same recordings and if she was remembering them right now.

"After a while, he started putting up other recordings, and I listened to those, too. By then, I wasn't even really remembering what he was suggesting to me. I just remembered that it felt good. But after a few months, I started getting these really strong urges to email him and thank him for the files. I fought it for a few days, out of shyness and a little bit of worrying about talking to strangers over the Internet, but...I gave in. I didn't know it until later, but that was one of the post-hyps he'd put in his files."

She remembered typing the email, signing off with the phrase, 'With spiral submissions, Brenda.' She had thought it was her own idea, just a quirky little signature, but it was actually her subconscious telling the Operator that she'd emailed him as a result of a post-hypnotic suggestion instead of doing it of her own volition.

"Within a few days of that, we were chatting regularly. We even talked on the phone sometimes. It was..." She remembered everything she could, but it was mostly just flashes--kneeling on the floor with a hands-free headset on so she could pinch her nipples with both hands while she sank deeper for him, ASCII designs that instantly sent her into trance, phone calls at work from a seeming stranger who asked if she'd forgotten her panties and the blushing realization that she actually had... "It was intense. I don't know how much of it was the hypnosis and how much of it was just the power of having all those fantasies realized, but I loved to give myself to him." She didn't have to tell everyone just how many orgasms she'd had during those months. She could tell they'd all been there.

"And one day, he gave me an assignment. He told me to go out, find a random man, and bring him back to my apartment and fuck him senseless. And..." She shivered. "And I knew it was a bad idea, I knew that I might get an STD or that I might wind up letting some crazy guy into my apartment or...or any of the other reasons it was a bad idea. And I kept telling myself not to do it, but every time I'd move towards the door I'd get so fucking horny at the thought that I couldn't stop myself from doing it even if it was a bad idea, and the more I thought about how hot it was to be that deeply controlled, the hotter I got, and pretty soon I was so horny I needed a good fucking anyway, and..."

She sighed. "And I found some guy, and I dragged him back to my apartment, and I fucked him senseless. Just like I was commanded to. And then afterwards, I freaked out. I uninstalled my chat programs, deleted all my hypnosis mp3s, and removed the Operator's email address from my friends list. I hung up every time he called, I deleted all his emails unread...it was hard, it was hard for months, but I did it and I swore I'd never let that happen again."

There was a long pause. The members of the group looked at each other, uncertain as to whether or not that was the end of the story. Heidi just looked straight at her, though, and said, "But it did, didn't it?"

Brenda looked away--she still had a hard time looking attractive women in the eyes without fantasizing about what it might lead to--but she nodded. "A few years later. I told myself it'd be all right if I just listened to some mp3s, if I didn't get involved with actual people. I found some female-voiced ones; I thought that maybe women were more ethical than men. I always listened to the last half first to make sure I knew what was getting into my head. I thought I was being smart."

The expression on Lois' face was one of pure agonized sympathy. Luke, the guy with the red hair and watery eyes, looked the same way. "That lasted about six months. I was doing all right, just listening to the recordings and going under--but it was so easy to go under. All those sessions I'd had to make me a better hypnotic subject had made it so hard to resist hypnosis at all, and I started wanting more. I started lurking on mailing lists and forums, and some of the women just seemed so nice...and I'd been listening to women hypnotizing me for months, and it was making me, y'know...itchy. So I sent one of the dommes an email, told her I'd been burned before but I wanted to try some casual, no strings erotic hypnosis."

Bryan, the other guy, frowned in understanding as she continued. "And there I was, reinstalling my chat programs--under a new ID, I wasn't about to let the Operator get his hooks back into me--and letting SuzyQ do text trance sessions with me. And it was nice. She was nice. No amnesia suggestions, she let me keep the chat logs so I always knew what she was putting in my head...and then one day, I found myself buying a webcam and I didn't know why I thought it was a good idea."

Brenda wished she could believe that everyone else in the group didn't know exactly what she was glossing over when she recounted this. But they probably all understood that when she said, "I bought a webcam", she meant, "I bought a webcam and then SuzyQ tranced me through voice chat, and I was staring at my own image on the webcam and watching my eyes get glazed and vacant and dreamy as her voice stilled my mind, and seeing myself go into trance made me go deeper, and then I watched myself take off my clothes and it was so hot to see an obedient, mindless sex slave stripping naked and fingering herself for her Mistress and knowing that it was me."

Instead, she just said, "It took me almost a year to get out of that. I'd keep telling myself it was a bad idea, that I was giving too much of myself away and getting sucked in too deep, but then all those layers of programming would--" She shook her head. "No. It wasn't even the programming. I was getting off on it, that was why I wouldn't stop. Mind control makes me horny. I wanted to get sucked in too deep. I wanted to give myself away. That was why it all worked."

The others actually applauded at that, briefly. "That's a big step," Heidi said, "understanding that you have a need to be mind controlled. It's important to understand that you've wanted that as long as you can remember."

Brenda smiled a little at Heidi's praise. "But I finally got away from SuzyQ. I swore it would never happen again, for real this time. I tried experimenting with other kinks and fetishes, getting into the local BDSM scene to see if I couldn't satisfy that part of myself some other way. But...about three months ago, I found this video on YouTube of a girl getting hypnotized. And I couldn't help it, I started picturing myself sitting in that chair instead of her. I wound up finding tons of videos like that, bookmarking them and watching them over and over. I would read all the local fetish listings every month, looking through the doms and dommes to see if I couldn't find one, just one that talked about hypnosis. I'd even started downloading hypnosis mp3s again. And then I saw your ad in the back of 'Minnesota BDSM Monthly'. I couldn't believe it at first; I thought I was alone."

She remembered the ad again as she talked. 'HYPNOSIS ADDICTS ANONYMOUS', it had said. 'Do you have problems separating your hypnosis fantasies from dangerous realities? Are you worried that you're letting mind control take you over? Are you afraid of losing your mind or just giving it away? We can help! Attend our meetings, and free yourself from your worries about erotic hypnosis once and for all!' She'd almost cried when she saw it. It felt like a lifeline in a life that was spinning out of control all over again.

"You're not alone," Heidi said. "We can help you. We're here to help you." She looked around at the rest of the group. "I think it's time for us to go over the Twelve Steps again." The other members nodded enthusiastically, and Heidi looked back over at Brenda. "Since this is your first meeting, you won't be able to join in the recitation. Just focus on me, and follow along as we go through the principles. Next time, you'll find yourself joining right along."

Brenda nodded. "Good girl," Heidi said. "Now, the First Step, everyone."

The group repeated as one, "I admit that I am powerless against hypnosis, and that my life has become unmanageable."

"Very good!" Heidi said. "It's important to take that first step, and understand that you have no power to resist hypnosis at all. There was a time, perhaps, when you thought you could participate in hypnosis without giving in completely, when you thought that you could fight those commands and live your own life, but now you know that you cannot manage your own life. You need someone else to do it for you."

Brenda furrowed her brow in slight confusion as she looked at Heidi's radiant expression. Was that really how it was supposed to work? She thought it meant that hypnosis was making her life unmanageable, not that--

But they were already chorusing the Second Step. "I have come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity."

"That's right," Heidi said soothingly. "You understand now that the only way to restore your mind is to give in to a power greater than your own. You're powerless and helpless, the First Step taught you that, so now it's time to find a greater power and submit to it completely. By giving your mind to that power, letting it order and arrange your thoughts, you will find it very easy to think in the patterns as you're told to, and let that other, more powerful person manage your life for you."

Brenda tried to shake her head, to say that this wasn't right, that something was twisted and confused about the way Heidi was explaining things...but her tongue seemed thick and clumsy in her mouth. The more she tried to analyze Heidi's statements, the more she tried to think about how they reminded her of the inductions she'd heard, and the more she remembered those inductions, the more she remembered how well they'd worked at putting her into trance. Those trances and the post-hypnotic suggestions to be a better, more controllable subject came easily to mind and made her head feel hazy and fuzzy as she focused on Heidi like she'd been told to.

"I have made a decision to turn my will and my life over to Heidi," the group chorused, their words echoing in Brenda's mind as she stared into Heidi's eyes. She'd never felt anything like this, the way that the whole group just seemed to think it was perfectly natural and right to submit and obey and go deeper, and the pressure it created on Brenda to go along was practically unbearable. Everyone else knew this was logical and sensible, and the parts of her mind that she'd been trying to suppress so hard for so long agreed. She had a need to be mind controlled. She'd wanted that as long as she could remember.

"Very, very good," Heidi purred out. "Every meeting helps you to understand that more and more, showing you all the ways that giving your mind over to me, that making me the higher power in your life makes that life so pleasant and so fulfilling. It feels good to obey, it always has, and I'm here to help you by making sure you have someone perfect and powerful to obey. That's why you've always been afraid of giving in completely to erotic hypnosis for so long...because you were waiting for me to control you."

Brenda tried to block out Heidi's soft, seductive voice, but she was also trying to stand on legs that felt weak and rubbery, and she was trying to keep her eyes open when they felt like they weighed a ton, and it seemed like she didn't have enough energy to do everything at once. So she just let Heidi's words drift in through her ears like fog to blank out her sleepy brain, knowing that she could no longer deny how aroused all this was making her. It was a fantasy come to life, and that made it impossible to fight even if she wasn't such a pliant, suggestible tranceslut...

The group spoke again, "We have made a fearless and searching inventory of our minds, and rooted out all resistance to Heidi's will."

"Yes, and you're doing it again right now, aren't you?" Heidi asked. Brenda felt her knees give way as she slumped back down in her chair, unsure of whether to fight the mental battle or the physical one and losing both as a result. "Every time you repeat these Steps, you find yourself going deeper into your own minds, finding any resistance you might have missed and wearing it away. Over and over again, each time going deeper, each time becoming more obedient. And every time you try to resist, these Steps come to mind again, up out of the back of your mind where they sleep, to help erase that resistance completely before they sleep again and you forget."

Heidi's deep, hypnotic eyes seemed to flicker and dance in Brenda's vision as she felt her eyelids flutter with strain. It was no good; she was too deeply conditioned from years of longing for hypnotic submission. Heidi had chosen her victims well, all of them. "We have admitted to Heidi and ourselves that our obedient trance makes us aroused, and that being helpless makes us horny," the group responded, and Brenda knew the words were sinking deep into her mind like venom pumped from a snake's fangs.

"That's right," Heidi said, "and as you get more and more aroused, it becomes harder and harder to stop yourself from expressing that. Because you have no resistance to that arousal, no resistance to those commands, no resistance to my will." Brenda felt herself squirm on her chair. She wasn't as deeply conditioned as the others, but recounting so many erotic experiences had left her primed and needy, and her pussy was already tingling as her hands twitched in an unconscious urge to masturbate.

"We are ready to have Heidi satisfy these urges through sexual intercourse," the group husked out, and Brenda couldn't help herself anymore. She lazily pulled her t-shirt over her head, letting the cool air caress her flushed and warm body. It was hard to take off her bra, because her hands kept getting distracted by the feel of her breasts; but she felt someone behind her helping her out, and then more hands on her body assisted her in taking off her shoes and pulling off her jeans and panties.

"Very good," she heard Heidi say, and her eyes opened hazily to see that the whole group was naked now, including Heidi. "And you're so ready for that now, so ready to give in and pleasure each other, pleasure me at my command, at my will." She heard Lois panting, saw Sasha's fingers trembling with lust. Luke and Bryan were both hard as rocks, their cocks dripping with precum. The sight aroused her more, but did nothing to free her from trance. She'd been too well-conditioned for that.

"We humbly beg Heidi to allow us sexual pleasure," the others chorused, and even though Brenda didn't know the words, she agreed wholeheartedly with the sentiment. It felt like the only things her empty mind could still register were obedience and lust, and only the former kept her from giving in completely to the latter.

"You may," Heidi said magnanimously, and Brenda's fingers plunged into her own pussy and began to pump mindlessly. Next to her, Luke leaned over and put his mouth on her nipple, suckling at her breast and flicking his tongue over the aureolae in a way that made her whimper and whine like a puppy at the sheer bliss of it all. Bryan got onto his back so that Heidi could straddle his face with her thighs, and Sasha climbed onto Bryan's cock and began to ride him with a look of mindless pleasure on her face as she stared dreamily into Heidi's eyes.




Step By Step



"We...we must obey and give pleasure to those we serve and those we serve with," Sasha and Lois chorused. Bryan and Luke had their mouths full, but Brenda could feel him mumble the words into her flesh as he licked. Lois crawled over to join them, grabbing Brenda's free hand and pressing it into Lois' pussy. Brenda pumped into Lois with the same urgent rhythm that she fingered herself, watching Lois' eyes and imagining the same blank, distant look on her own.

"Yes," Heidi moaned out, her juices smearing Bryan's chin as she rocked back and forth on his face. "Serve, obey, giving pleasure gives you pleasure, ohhh..."

"When we sexually pleasure those we serve and those we serve with, we feel that pleasure directly in our own minds," Lois moaned out. She was the only one still capable of speech--Sasha had buried her face in Heidi's tits, her mouth roaming over the sensitive flesh.

"Yes, oh, yes, you feel it...you feel it all, oh fuck..." Heidi gasped out the words, her body quivering with desire; but as incoherent as they were, the suggestions worked perfectly on Brenda's deeply hypnotized mind. She felt every hot surge of pleasure that she gave to Lois, and she shifted position, laying on her back to allow Luke's cock to slide effortlessly into her slick and needy cunny. It felt unbelievable as her hypnotized mind felt both the pleasure of the fucking and the pleasure she knew his cock must be receiving from her.

"We continue to program ourselves," Luke took up the chorus as he fucked, "and when we find free will we promptly remove it." Heidi lay next to Brenda, and Sasha got off of Bryan and headed over to Lois, who was still shuddering and moaning as her juices dripped onto Brenda's fingers.

"Yes, you never...oh, yes, that's nice..." Heidi spread her legs wide as Bryan slid into her, pounding his cock into her cunt again and again with the same expression of thoughtless bliss on his face that Luke wore, that Sasha wore, that Lois wore as Sasha pulled her head down to lick at Sasha's slick and dripping pussy. Brenda knew that her own face must look the same, and she reveled in it. "You never want to have free will," Heidi said, "you never want to escape my control..."

"We," the others could barely get the words out now as they shook with pleasure, each of them near to their own perfect orgasm, "we seek through pleasure and obedience to improve our service to Heidi and cum for her." Brenda felt it too, all the echoes of pleasure from so many sources overfilling her still and empty mind, and she turned her head to lock eyes with Heidi and feel the perfect joy of obedience filling her soul as she submitted completely.

"Yes, that's right," Heidi husked out, and Brenda felt like she was talking to her directly, "cum, cum now and obey, mind so empty, sunk so deep, thoughtless and mindless and submissive and entranced and deeply hypnotized, always obeying, born to obey, need to serve, born to serve, must give yourself completely to mmeeeeeunnnnnnh!" Brenda felt it too, she let the pleasure take her over completely and let her mind shut down totally as she came and came and came, feeling Lois' cunt clench around her fingers and Luke's cock spasm inside her pussy and it was all just a blur of pleasure and obedience as even her awareness of her mind slipped away.

*****

"Well," Heidi said, "that was another productive meeting, I think! Thank you all for coming--especially you, Brenda, for having the courage to decide to join us for the first time. I hope we'll see you again next week."

Brenda looked down at her watch. Had it really been an hour? she thought. The time just seemed to fly. It felt like the meeting had just gone by in a blur. Really useful, though. She couldn't remember the details, but that didn't matter. It felt definitely...unburdening, and that was the important thing. "I'll be back," she said, a silly grin spreading across her face.

"I'm sure you all will," Heidi said. "And what's our last step before we go back out into the world, group?" she asked.

Brenda didn't even know how she knew, but she joined in with the others as they said, "Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others." As she left, Brenda started to make a mental list of other people who could benefit from meeting with Heidi.

THE END



Step by Step



Step by step, he had led her down the path towards surrender. 

He was always touching her, patting her, fondling her dark hair, rubbing her shoulders and hugging her.

And, playing her part, she learnt the rules: his rules. She was careful not to breathe a hint of her sexual activities with her owner to a single living soul. 

This made her feel special, as if she and her owner were united in their torrid secret, the two of them against the world.

This man had seduced her by slow degrees and he still had a long way to go in his tactile conquest of all her intimacies. 

In fact, she was still technically a virgin, but he would take care of that when the right time came.

He was always careful and sensitive with her. He adored her and had no wish to force her. He was slowly initiating her into sensual pleasure, guiding her skillfully, bringing her along carefully but steadily, holding her back as he deemed necessary.

Often, when they were alone, he would pull her down onto his lap, her warm backside nestling against his groin. 

She always responded eagerly, thrilled by these displays of affection. She had become very close to him and that closeness just seemed to grow and deepen as they explored each other.

Now, he put his hand between her legs, touching her pussy through her panties.

"Mmmmm," she moaned as he fingered the outline of her little pussy lips. Her panties grew damp as his fingers glided over the cotton material, stroking her from time to time, making her sex wet.

"Do it to me with your mouth please," she begged in a hoarse whisper. "Please sir. I need you to."

"Turn away from me first."

"Yes sir."

"Now hold your hands together behind you."

"Yes sir."

"I'm going to tie your wrists together with my tie."

"The elephant tie?"

"Yes pet."

"I love the elephant tie."

"I love you in its silk embrace."

"I thought you loved me in cotton sir."

"The two aren't mutually exclusive."

"No, I suppose not."

"And sometimes I like you out of cotton too. Lift yourself up. Sir is going to strip your panties off now; but first you can remind me who you belong to, girl?"

"I'm yours, sir. I belong to you."

"Good girl," he smiled and lifted her up off his lap, pushing her legs under her so that she found herself kneeling up on his chair. "And now you are going to spread your legs like the obliging and willing to please cunt that you are; are you not, pet?"

"Mmmhmm, absolutely sir." 

He smiled and reached between her legs to caress her between her thighs, sawing his fingers back and forth. 

She moaned in protest when he stopped, but her muted protests were short lived when, in no time at all, he had wrapped his hands around her hips and cupped her backside as he knelt down in front of the chair to press his head against her mound. His warm breath rustled against her flesh, making her giggle and squirm excitedly as she knelt up on the seat. 

Her bottom cheeks trembled against his hands as her owner planted a long, lingering kiss on her tight young college girl pussy.

He parted his lips, extended his tongue, and ran the tip of it over her naked sex. Soon her sweet cunt was coated with her his freshly drooled saliva.

"Sir!" she gasped when he pressed the tip of his tongue between the lips of her pussy and began to taste her wetness.

"Mmmm," he moaned as he tasted the tang of her sex. He always loved this fresh, sweet taste. He knew he would never be able to get enough of her, as always.

As he dipped his tongue in and out of his pet's pussy, his hands moved up to the small of her back and then around and across her flat tummy, pushing her college sweatshirt up as he slid his hand up to her little tits. 

She tried to tug her hands apart wanting to help him by lifting the shirt up herself to show off her lovely little titties, but the tie held firm preventing her from any real movement

He looked up at her and caught her gaze with his until she stopped fretting against the bonds and hung her head, blushing a little at her over eagerness. His hand slid round behind her and he spanked her hard -- a warning.

Then he pushed the top up himself and lifted the hem of the shirt right up to her lips.

"Bite on it, pet."

She nodded and opened her mouth obligingly waiting for him to gag her with her own clothes. The shirt was being tugged downwards by her tied arms, so she had to bite down hard to keep it up as he wanted. 

"That's a good bitch."

She blushed, as he pulled her bra down and flicked at her nipples, pinching them hard and sighing as he started to fondle her tits, squeezing and kneading her school girlish mounds. He pinched her nipples again and listened to her subdued moans as he felt them throbbing against the pressure of his fingers.

Then, he pressed his face back down and ran his tongue onto her clitoris. Her hands strained at the tie and she heard herself shrieking for more on the inside. 

She clenched her little fists and urged his head lower as her saliva spread over the shirt hem in her mouth. 

And his mouth was now grinding against her virgin pussy: his tongue was flicking against the most sensitive places in a lashing motion.

She could barely keep her balance and, eventually fell forwards over his left shoulder as she shuddered at each whipping stroke of his tongue. 

The dizzying sensations were such that she soon found herself losing her grip on the shirt and the elasticated hem whipped against her chest. 

He did not rebuke her, but paused in his sucking and pulled away from her, pushing her off his shoulder and causing her to slump back in the chair on her spread knees. Then, he tugged the sweat shirt back up and over her head, leaving it on her arms, so that they were bound even more tightly than before. 

Then he leaned forward and bit her tits one after the other marking each of the brown areola before picking her discarded panties from the ground.

"Open pet."

She looked at him with her dark brown eyes and blushed at the thought that he was about to press her worn knickers into her mouth.

"Open up!" He repeated with a stinging slap on her pussy and she duly accepted the cotton material into her mouth, flushing further as his fingers began to dance between her legs, flicking at her sex, before he started to finger fuck her properly, with two fingers sluicing in and out of her eighteen year old student cunt.

Her hips rose and her pussy met her owner's probing fingers as she melted on the edge of coming, waiting only for permission to release. 

Why did he always drive her wild like this with his lips and his tongue and his fingers in her cunt, she moaned against the cotton, again and again he pounded his index and forefinger into her sodden cunt.

"Come for me, my little dumpling. That's a good bitch. Come for me now!"

And she began to make high-pitched squealing sounds as her orgasm descended upon her and she came and came and came. 

The tie dug into her wrists as she tried to pull them apart again and she knew that she had pleased and that she was his good little bitch - yes that was it: a good little bitch for sir, who had come to him and for him step by step.



Step by Step



Chapter 1

"Mmm. That feels nice," Riley whispered as he pushed hard against her.

"Are you sure you're okay with this? I don't want you telling me this was a mistake again tomorrow."

"We just can't go any further, okay?"

Colton Bradley stopped dry humping her and Riley asked, "What's wrong? That felt really good. You don't have to stop."

"Riley? I don't deal well with mixed signals. We're both in our '20s and yet we go through this...this...dance...every night."

"So what are you saying, Colt? You don't want to do anything?"

"I think you know exactly what I'm saying. The real problem is you don't want to listen to yourself and visualize what you're not saying."

Riley sat up and said, "I resent that. I really like you. You're the first guy I've dated since my divorce and I enjoy making out with you. I know what we were doing beyond that is wrong, but sometimes I just..."

"Sometimes you just...what? Finish your sentence this time, Riley."

Riley huffed. "You're exasperating! You know how important the Church is to me. We can't have sex outside of marriage. Period. We can't even pet, so this is as far as we can go. If you don't enjoy it then maybe we should..."

"Should...what? Come on. You know what's going on here. I see it and I admit you. You see it and claim you have no idea. For someone who's been married and divorced twice 
before she's 28, you can sure be clueless."

"I don't like being talked to that way. I think maybe you need to leave. "

Colt picked up his jacket and said, "No, you don't like being talked to like that. You don't like being talked to that way because you like men who won't tell you the truth. You seek out men who are gutless. You want someone you can control. You want everything on your terms but that's where you run into trouble because you can't ever have what you really want on your terms. You can only get a shallow, hollowed-out, low-rent version of it that way."

Riley stood up and pointed her finger at Colt. "I will not be spoken to like that in my own home!"

Bradley walked over to her, stood inches from her face and said, "Right. Because if I finish saying what needs to be said, you'll have to deal with the fact that you're a hypocrite of the highest order. You want to live this sweet, quaint, perfect life in public but deep down you're a boiling cauldron of unfulfilled needs and desires. You want me as much as I want you, but you use the Church and your so-called values to push real men like me away. And that's what causes you to pick shrinking violets like Mike and Tommy then throw them away after a couple of years when you realize they're not enough. And here's the real kicker, Riley. It's gonna take a real man to put up with your shit and willingly give you what you really want. The other thing you can't see is that I'd gladly let you have it all if you'd make some changes for me so we could both get what we want. But your pride and your phony veneer—this...social mask you wear...keeps you locked in this prison of your own device. So you'll move on until you find another weak man to marry you and then once you've gotten it of your system—legally—via marriage—you'll divorce him and start the whole sick, twisted process over again!"

Riley was trembling with rage. "You don't know anything about me! You don't know who I am or what I want. You think you're so smart and that you know more than anyone else. Well, you don't! I know exactly what I want! And I don't need you or any other man to tell me what it is or how to get it! Now get OUT!"

Colt turned and said, "That's where you're wrong. While you do know exactly what you want, you DO need me to get it because no other man would bring home the very thing his loving wife most wants and needs without complaint because he knows that's exactly what it takes to make her life complete. And if you weren't so...so goddamned self-righteous, you'd admit it and drop this bullshit facade you play with the Church and your mom and..."

Riley's anger spilled over into pure frustration. Tears of rage fell as she screwed up her face and said, "I HATE you! You get the HELL out of my house and leave me alone!" She turned on her heels and headed for the safety of her bedroom where she would spend another night by herself crying. All alone—again. The weight of the sadness would once again crush her. But her pride would not allow her to give in. There was no way she was going to let Colton Bradley know he was right because doing so would cause the facade to fall, opening new wounds almost as painful as the kind she now willingly bore.

"I feel sorry for you, Riley. I'm the one guy whose understands you and who'll give you everything you need, but you're too damn stubborn to admit it. So in six months you'll be engaged to some other pantywaist and two years later wonder why the hell your third marriage didn't work, either," Colt said as he closed the door behind himself and walked out.

On his way home, Colt tried to shake the whole thing off, but he knew that wouldn't happen that quickly. He needed to process what was going on and see if maybe he really had made a mistake. Something told him he was spot on, but he tended to avoid conclusions based on emotion or gut feelings. Logically, he was convinced he had this right.

Riley Peterson was very attractive. A little too thin for some but if that didn't bother a guy, she was a babe in all other respects. Okay, maybe her boobs were a little on the small side, too, but her face was downright beautiful and her eyes were...what? Captivating. They were a deep, warm brown and so...alive. Her lips were soft and full and her smile was amazing. Her coffee-brown hair was silky and shiny and frankly, looked like something out a commercial for a top-of-the-line shampoo. And the way she dressed, even for a modest Mormon girl, slayed him. 

Bradley was quite sure she would be hot in bed. He couldn't get her to talk about sex directly, but from the hints she gave, he knew she enjoyed it—a lot. Hell, she'd been married to two younger guys for two years each in a six-year period. The first was Mike Cummings who was just 18 and right out of high school when Riley married him. She'd just finished college and was working as an RN. Mike was good looking, well built, and very quiet. Just the kind of guy Riley could have her way with then discard when she needed someone new. After a short break waiting for her uncontested divorce to finalize, she met Tommy Ziegler, who was nearly a clone of Mike. Riley loved to dress her boy toys up in sweater vests and corduroy pants with wing-tip shoes and braces and monogrammed button-down shirts with cuff links. Being just 20 years old, he was all too willing to do anything he could to make his very pretty, older wife happy. But that was the problem. Riley could never be happy with any guy she could control and making matters worse was her need to stay within the gene pool of the Mormon Church.

Her daddy, as she called him, wasn't a Latter-day Saint. It was her mom who'd raised her in the Church in Roanoke, Virginia, along with her two sisters, Gloria and Marlis. All three of the Peterson girls were very cute and all three had married young and divorced. Riley was just a step ahead of her younger sisters in terms of the body count. 

The problem for Riley was that membership in the Church presented her with a dilemma she couldn't solve. On the one hand, she really, really liked sex but she couldn't settle for just one man for life. Enter her love affair with serial monogamy. On the other hand, she couldn't have sex except with a man who was her husband and her husband had to be a Mormon. Then there was another issue which factored into the equation of craziness. Riley only dated guys who were younger than herself. And a lot younger where possible. Colt knew this because he personally knew two guys in their mid-thirties who'd asked her out. Both had been turned down. One was a very good-looking, successful attorney whose wife had died from breast cancer. The other was a real-estate agent who been divorced for several years. Both had money, looks, and a real love for the Mormon faith. They would have ideal for a woman like Riley—unless there were deeper motives in play. Colt was sure there were.

Then there was his own experience with Riley. He was just 21 himself and recently returned from a two-year Mormon mission to Moscow, Russia, when she'd asked him to take her to a church function during the Christmas holiday. While on his mission, he'd begun having doubts about the Church and even whether or not there was a God. His parents weren't LDS so he had no family support structure to reinforce his flagging faith. He was reasonably certain Riley's faith was also very shallow underneath the thin veneer she claimed as miles deep, but she'd never admit that. Maintaining that faith in front of her mother and other friends in their social circle was important not so much because she really believed it, but because it was...expected. It was...comfortable. Besides, disappointing her mother was something Riley couldn't even contemplate. So she repressed her deepest needs and flailed around chasing after them the only way she could. Through a series of legal marriages with cute, younger men.

Colt was young, but he was very good at assessing people. Each day he spent with Riley, the more certain he became as to who she really was and what she really wanted. And the truly frustrating thing was that the very same thing was happening with himself. He was slowly peeling back the proverbial onion and each new layer confirmed what he felt. He didn't believe all this "modern-day prophet/God was once a man-man can become God/Book of Mormon" nonsense. The Book of Mormon had over twenty chapters of one book directly stolen from the Bible! They were even "translated" by Joseph Smith in the King James version of English spoken in 1611! They were lifted word for word from the Book of Isaiah in the Bible but no one cared. The Mormon temple ceremony was stolen directly from the Masons by Joseph Smith and Brigham Young who were both...wait for it...master Masons! The whole thing was such a crock of...shit.

Riley was six years older than him but he had a far better grasp on reality in general, and on her needs in specific, than she did. He was now sure that what Riley needed but refused to admit, was the love of a man who understood her needs and would make it possible for her to be happy and fulfilled and stay married to one man. As long as they lived far enough from Roanoke to hide her new life from the prying eyes of her aging, invalid mother, she could live the life she wanted but keep up the front of being a good Mormon girl. Riley's mom was too frail to travel so all she'd need do is be um...creative...when they talked on the phone or via Skype.

The one remaining question for Colt to answer was this: was Riley Peterson worth all of the work and pain he'd have to put up with to get her to see who see really was? When they were able to avoid 'the topic' things were actually great between them. Colt had only one year of college before his mission, but he was surprisingly very well read and well spoken. According to other girls—and a lot of them—he was a very good-looking guy. But then, Riley only pursued younger, attractive guys so... 

The problem for her this time was that Colton Bradley wasn't a pushover. He was kind and polite to a fault, but he never backed down from anyone or anything. Still, he had to admit the challenge Riley presented was formidable and should he choose to tackle it, both of them were going to come out and bruised and bloodied on the other end, but only one would be left standing with their old belief system still in place. If he did this, he resolved it would be him. He would tame the Shrew or at least force her to admit he was right. Either way, he was at a crossroads with her and with Mormonism. If he could break Riley, he felt confident they could be very happy together. But either way, Mormonism had to go.

Chapter 2

"Dad? Did you already take care of these invoices?"

"Not yet, Colt. You go ahead and run 'em. You're gettin' pretty good at damn near everything around here and it feels good knowin' I can trust you with the business."

That was high praise coming from Bart Bradley. He was a taskmaster and as tough as they come but he was no hypocrite. He held himself to the same standard he demanded of his employees and that included his only son, Colton.

"Thanks, Dad. That means a lot," Colt said sincerely.

"Don't thank me. You earned the praise. I don't give it out for free. Listen, I wanna talk to you about something after supper tonight. You gonna be home or out with that new filly of yours?"

Colt forced himself not to laugh at his dad's colloquialisms. He didn't finish high school let alone go to college, but he'd still managed to start a local car company which turned into two then three which became a major franchise with three dealerships in Virginia and two more in North Carolina. His father spoke like a hillbilly but ran his business like a graduate of Harvard Business College.

"Okay, sure. I'll be home. Not sure if I'll be seeing Riley again anyway," he told his dad.

"You two have a spat?"

"You could say that, Dad. From my perspective, she's living a lie but too proud to admit it."

Bart stood there then said, "How's that any different than you and that church of yours?" He didn't wait for an answer. He said his piece and walked away. 

Bart Bradley didn't mince words or pull punches. He'd thought Mormonism was a "bunch of hooey" since his son first came home and told him he was getting baptized. Bart wasn't a religious man but he was honest to a fault. He had no beef with folks who attended church, he just didn't see the need for it. He couldn't reconcile the evil and suffering in the world with almighty God who could stop it but who chose not to. Colt had let himself buy into the notion that because God gives man free will, he chooses evil and God let's it happen. He doesn't cause it, He just lets people do their thing and evil and suffering are the consequences. Besides, His ways are higher than our ways and we can't know everything in this life. And lastly, He loves us so much he gives us a living prophet to guide us in these latter days. Case closed. Game, set, and match for the LDS church. Or was it? Lately, Colt found himself secretly wondering if maybe his gruff old dad didn't understand a whole lot more than he did.

After dinner, his dad poured himself his nightly shot of single malt and said, "Let's sit down here and talk. You and me."

Colt sat down in the large study and his dad sat down beside him. "You remember Jeff Taylor?"

"Sure. He's your GM down in Charlotte. Why? Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's okay. In fact, he's so okay he thinks we're ready to open another dealership in the city in another year or two."

"That's great, Dad. But what does that have to do with me?"

"A whole lot. Colt, I want you to go to Charlotte and work for Jeff as the assistant GM. Most guys know either sales or service. Jeff knows it all. Logistics, inventory, the whole shootin' match. He's as good as God makes 'em. Speakin' of God, I'm sure they got plenty of your churches in a big city like that. You spend a year or two shadowing Jeff, learning all sides of the business and the dealership'll be yours when you're ready. So are you in?"

"Geez, Dad. Are you sure I'm ready for that? I've only been back a year or so and..."

"Hey. I don't need book learnin' to know people. I see things other folks don't. You got potential, son. You learn fast and you work hard. You don't need any more college. You need experience. And lemme tell you, if you weren't ready, there ain't no way in hell I'd let you out of my sight. But you are so if you want this, it's yours. If not, you can stay here and try and work your way up to managing the service department and then we'll see. But I'm not offerin' you the deal twice."

"Then I'm in. When do I start?"

The plan was for Colt to spent the first year working as the AGM for service. It was his best area so after just eight months, Jeff Taylor moved him over to sales to learn the ropes there. Sales looked easy, but it was a bitch. There were so many moving parts—no pun intended. There was the company and its ever-increasing demands for volume, the sales staff, inventory, the finicky public, payroll, and the reality of the economy's ups and downs to deal with. After 18 months on the operational side, Colt knew his stuff inside and out and Jeff told his dad he was ready to take over the dealership while Jeff went to head up the brand new dealership across town.

Colt came in early that first day in the new job. He arrived before anyone else and poured himself a cup of coffee. He took a brief trip down memory lane from the time he met the Kenny Wilson in high school. Kenny's sister, Eileen, was as hot as any girl he'd known except for maybe Riley. He started going to the Mormon Church just to be around her and once she started showing some interest in him, Colt decided to go ahead and get baptized and join the Church. He was crazy about Eileen, but she told him if he was serious about her, he'd do what all good Mormon boys do and go on mission. 

His dad was mad as hell but supported his son's decision. The two years in Russia both were fascinating (and cold as hell most of the year) and troubling in that that was the place where the seeds of doubt were first planted about halfway through his two-year stint. They grew in fertile ground over the next two years and came to life that last time he'd seen Riley. He left her home that night and left the Mormon Church that same week. His name was technically still on their roles, but he hadn't darkened the door of a Mormon Church in over two years. He took off his temple garments or what he now called "magic jammies" the next day and never looked back. His dad never mentioned it but Colt could see something his father rarely showed—happiness and relief.

Although he never doubted his decision to give up on Mormonism, he had thought about Riley numerous times, even when he was dating someone else. Not seriously enough to go back and pursue her, though. She remained attached to a former life he wanted no part of and he just wasn't up to the battle royal that would have ensued to try and break her will. Nope. He let that sleeping dog lay and as it turned out, things had gone well for him. He was still single but that was fine. He wasn't even 25 and he was running one of the largest auto dealerships in North Carolina. He dated frequently but just hadn't found the girl he was looking for. Okay, let's say the kind of girl he was looking for. Okay, fine! He'd found her once but she was unaware that she was indeed that kind of girl so what choice did he have? He'd keep looking until he found her because he vowed never to settle for less than the entire package. Riley had the potential to be her, but it came with so many strings attached and was buried so deep inside her under many layers of bullshit wrapped in fantasy, misperceptions, and fairy tales that it just wasn't worth the effort.

Colt's train of thought was interrupted when saw headlights pull into a manager's parking spot. That meant his service manager was in. Time to get this party started.

After a rocky first month under his leadership, sales really took off. They set records two months running after that and satisfaction ratings in service were better than ever. Colt was sharing the good news with his managers one afternoon when he noticed something that caught his eye through the large picture window in his office. "Gentlemen? Will you excuse me? Let's wrap this up for now, okay?" Everyone filed out and Colt sat there staring. He picked up the phone and called the salesman in the cubicle he was looking at.




Step by Step



"Carl?"

"Yes, sir! How may I help you?" Carl Jefferson asked.

"What's the young lady's name you're helping?"

"Uh...Riley. Why? Is there something I can help you with, boss?"

"Yes, there is, Carl. Will you bring her back here to my office, please?"

"Sure will, sir. Be right there."

Colton watched his best salesman point toward his office, saw a puzzled look on the pretty girl's face, then followed them all the way to his door which was partly open when Carl knocked. "Mr. Bradley? She's here. Shall I send her in?"

Colt nodded and stood up as Carl motioned for her to come in. Riley looked as lovely as she had the last time he saw her. She was still very thin but she was simply beautiful.

"Hello, Riley. It's good to see you," Colt said as he offered her his hand. Normally, he would wait for a lady to offer hers, but he knew Mormons were hand shakers so he did the offering.

"Oh, my heavenly days! Colton Bradley? What in the world are you doing in Charlotte and...here?" She looked behind her and saw his name on the glass window: Colton Bradley, General Manager. "This is your dealership, Colt? Oh, my goodness! Um...well, congratulations!"

She opened her arms inviting a hug so Colt stepped up and hugged her politely. "Please have a seat, Riley. I was shocked when I first saw you. I had to look twice to be sure, but I'd recognize you anywhere. You look great, by the way. No surprise there."

"Oh, thank you, Colt! You, too. You look so handsome in a suit and tie. Well, you always looked handsome but... So how long have you been here?"

"Just over two years. Dad sent me down here to learn the ropes and I just took over this dealership three months ago. But the bigger question is what brings you to Charlotte to look for a car when Roanoke has a dealership right in town?"

Riley looked down at the purse in her lap for a moment then said, "I'm sure you won't be surprised to learn I remarried—again."

Colt didn't want to say anything even remotely rude so he said genuinely, "Oh, that is a surprise. Congratulations! Who's the lucky guy?"

Riley didn't want to make eye contact at first but eventually said, "Joey Collins."

Colt didn't say what he was thinking, but Joey had just gotten out of high school when Colt left Roanoke. He couldn't have been more than 19 when Riley married him. Sheesh. He decided discretion was the better part of valor and said, "Well, he's a very lucky man, Riley. Do you guys live her in the city or out in one of the suburbs?"

Again, she hesitated. "Actually, I'm living here...alone. I asked Joey to leave six months ago and before you ask, yes, I'm divorcing him."

Colt saw tears well up in Riley's eyes and he instinctively moved to sit next to her. He removed the kerchief from his pocket and handed it to her. She looked at in and said, "I can't use this, Colt. It's pure silk."

"Nonsense," he told her. "It's a thing and things can be replaced. Go ahead. Please."

Riley dabbed her eyes and drew a deep breath. "I've thought about our last night together a hundred times, Colt."

Colton looked directly at her and said sincerely, "Me, too, Riley. I'm so sorry for the way I talked to you. I was rude, insensitive, and downright mean. I hope you can forgive me after all this time."

Riley looked at him and said, "No. It isn't me needing to forgive you. I'm the one who was so wrong. You had this ability to...to see right through me. It was as though you could read my mind better than I knew my own thoughts. I was just so angry because you tried to tell me who and what I was or...am...but I reacted defensively because the truth hurt so much. And it took a third marriage...and divorce...to force me to admit you were right. So the better question is can you forgive me?" She looked up and met his gaze as she finished speaking.

"Of course I can. We both said some unpleasant things but that's all in the past. We're older and wiser now, right?"

Riley smiled a wry smile and said, "Well, I'm definitely older. I just turned 30 and I'm waiting on a third divorce. Maybe that's why I feel like I just turned 50."

Colt saw more tears so he put his hand on her shoulder. "Hey! There's no need for that. We all make mistakes, Riley. No one's perfect. And for the record, you're just as pretty as you were the last time I saw you."

Riley let out a polite kind of snort and said, "Yeah, I look beautiful, don't I, with all this mascara running down my face and me making a fool out myself in here telling you all this? I really am what Mama calls a 'hot mess.'"

Colt decided to change the subject. "So I take it you're here looking for a new car?"

Another soft snort. "Hardly. I'm here trying to get someone to take back the car I bought six months ago before Joey left. I can't afford to make the payments now that he's gone and I'm living on my income alone."

"Did you buy it here? I mean, is there anything wrong with it?" Colt asked her.

"No. I love the car. It's just too much. You know how I am. This was another status symbol. A big, expensive car. A handsome young husband. You were so right, Colt. I am a very shallow woman."

"Tell you what I'll do. Let me have a look at it and then we'll discuss options."

Thirty minutes later they were back inside. "It's in great shape. You have extremely low mileage on it so we can either refinance it for you or I'll buy it back for what you paid and give you a great deal on something more...practical. Sound reasonable?"

"Colt? Why would you do something so nice for me after the way I treated you? How is it that you can be the better person even when you were wronged like that?"

"Because I know people, Riley. I can recognize potential. You're still that same sweet, pretty girl I liked so much. And maybe, just maybe, you've gotten to the point where you can admit what you've been doing isn't working."

"I'm long past that point, Colt. I readily admit what I've been doing doesn't work. But finding something that will...well...I don't even know where to start to find out what that might be. I feel completely lost and so...alone."

"Let's take care of the business at hand and if you feel like it, maybe we could talk this evening. I'd be happy to take you to dinner if you're interested. I just want you to know, I don't go to church anymore. In case you'd heard rumors or were just wondering."

Riley smiled for the first time since she said hello. "First of all, I would love that. But I know you're spending a lot of your hard-earned money fixing my mistake. You didn't have to do any of this, so thank you for that, Colt. Maybe I could make dinner for us instead? Secondly, I kind of assumed you'd stop going to church since you never came back after that...argument we had. Right or wrong, I felt like that was mostly my fault ever since. Regardless, I'm glad you told me, Colt. But in all honesty? It doesn't bother me at all, okay? I really mean that. I've just gotta warn you, I'm living in a very tiny little apartment so don't expect anything too fancy, okay?"

"I'd like that, Riley. And I'm glad you're okay with my decision concerning the Church. As to your place, I don't care where you live. I'm not coming to see your things, I'm coming to see you. If you'll recall, when we were dating, I didn't even have a place. I was still living with my folks. I'm sure we'll discuss all of this, along with many other things, at some length tonight. Just let me have your address and tell me when you'd like me to show up and I'll be there. Now, let's go get you into something that's more practical and still fun, shall we?"

The conversation stayed mostly light during dinner in Riley's very modest little apartment until the subject of religion reared it's ugly head. "So you know I have to ask why you left the Church, right? So...why did you?"

Colt kindly and patiently explained the doubts which began to grow on his mission all the way to their last um...conversation...through his mostly recent revelation that all religion is manmade.

"But one of them has to be true, right?" Riley insisted.

Colt said, "In my mind, it's 99.99% certain that all of them are made up—inventions of man—but I will agree one of them could be right. Here's another truth. It's impossible to prove the existence or non-existence of God. That said, the question is what would make that one church/religion/faith, 'right'? All of the major religions as well as every denomination within them believes IT has the full and complete truth. All of them say that and all them do so based on faith. Muslims behead 'infidels' based on absolute faith in their God. You don't think they have the truth, but they do. In fact, they are willing to die or kill others, to prove it. Jehovah's Witnesses are certain theirs is the correct path. So are the Seventh-day Adventists. Same with Mormons. Same with those who are born-again Christians. What makes any one group stand out other than their insistence that their way is the right way? Seriously? What is it? It all comes to down to faith and anecdotal evidence coupled with subjective experience. Sorry, but that just isn't enough for me. If it works for you, so be it. But it doesn't for me. And most of all? There is no direct evidence any god exists and if one does, there is also no evidence whatsoever he 'hears and answers prayers.' A couple of studies tried to show prayer can help sick people but both were later debunked. God is a creation of man rather than man the creation of God."

"Even six months ago, I would have started an argument with you. I'd have countered with all the things I've learned over my life to defend the Church. But not now. I'm so disillusioned and I feel so...broken, Colt. I'm finally at a place in my life where I'm open to new ideas because I can't keep doing what I've been doing and expecting different results."

"Einstein said that was the definition of insanity, right?" he said trying to lighten the mood.

Riley stared at him and said, "Everyone who knows you or your dad says you two are some of the smartest people they know. Neither of you graduated from college and yet you think deeper than anyone else I've ever met. Somehow, you...see people. You have this...this...gift. You can look inside and tell what the other person is feeling and needing even when they can't. I was such a fool that night." Colt started to speak but Riley said, "No, wait. Let me finish. At the time, I wouldn't admit you were right because I couldn't. I wasn't able to see what you could. So now as I look back with 20/20 hindsight, it's easy to think I should have know better. But I wasn't mentally prepared to accept what you were telling me."

"So what's changed, Riley?" he asked.

"Time. Just time. But time can be very powerful, Colt. You needed time to sort through what you knew inside was right once you started having doubts. So did I. The difference is you listened early on and I wouldn't. I was so afraid of what would happen if I followed my heart. What would Mama think? What would my sisters think? That scared me more than living a lie and knowing I'd repeat the same mistakes again. At least until I made this one with Joey. Don't get me wrong. He's a very sweet boy. But, well, all I can say is you were 100% right that night that seems like a lifetime ago. I couldn't say that then, but time has given me perspective and now I can. You were right, Colt. So how do I go about connecting with the real me? How do I even figure who that person is? How do I move from here...to...there? Can you help with this one too, or is that asking for a...miracle?"

Colt saw Riley smile bravely to soften the hurt she was feeling so he reached out and took her hand. "I don't know whether or not I have all the answers, Riley. But I do have ideas. I know what worked for me. In my case, the most important thing was take a first step. Mine was a big one. I made a permanent and final break with religion altogether. Not just with the Mormon Church but with all religion. I'm never letting any person have that kind of control over me again. Ever. From there, it was just a matter of taking tiny steps in the direction that felt right to me."

"What kind of steps?" she asked as she put her other hand on top of his.

"One of the first things I decided was that even though it was my my choice and mine alone to do whatever I wanted, I wasn't going to go off the deep end and start committing crimes or doing meth. I resolved to do whatever felt right for me as long as I didn't hurt anyone else in the process. That allowed me to break free from all of the social restrictions heaped on us by religion and live my life my way. If I want to drink coffee or have a glass of wine, doing so isn't a sin. It's a choice. If someone I'm with agrees to have sex, then it isn't 'fornication' or 'adultery.' It's just...sex. I don't lie, cheat, or steal, Riley. I live a moral life set by my own standard of 'do no harm.' I don't look to prophets, priests, or rabbis to tell me what's good or bad, holy or evil. I can make those decision just fine on my own. And so can you."

Riley smiled and said, "So are you suggesting we should get drunk and sleep together?"

Colt laughed politely and said, "I'm ready for both of those things but you're not."

Riley sat up and said, "Hey. Wait a minute! I'm an adult, too. I think I'm capable of making my own decisions, thank you very much!"

Colt knew she was only partly kidding but he got serious when he said, "Riley? You are an adult. But you've lived under the repression of religion all of your life. If you well...go off the deep end...all at once, it will overwhelm you. Here's what I'm going to suggest. It's Wednesday evening. You think about this stuff for a couple of day. Give it some really careful thought. If you feel comfortable taking a first step, I'll take you out for a drink. Well, maybe we should start with a cup of coffee first since even that is a huge no-no for any member of the Church. If you're not racked with guilt or feeling torn apart internally, then we'll take another small step from there. Sound good?"

Riley had a look of genuine disappointment on her face. "I was really hoping you'd agree to stay here with me tonight but if that's out of the question..."

"You have no idea how much I'd like that, Riley. But some things have to be done slowly and carefully. It took years and years to program your brain to think a certain way. You've only been questioning it for a few months and you just determined what the problem is. If you try and unpack all that in one day or even in a few days, it will be very painful and you'll run back to the perceived safety of what you've known all of your life. Trust me on that, will you?"

Riley looked down and sighed. "How are you this smart? I have a BS in nursing and whenever we talk I feel like I just sat down with a college professor in my freshman year. And you're so kind." She looked back up at Colt and added, "And still so...handsome. Did you know that, Colt? You are the most handsome guy I've ever dated. Had you let me control you the way I wanted..."

"I'd have been victim number three and Joey would have been left out there growing really, really old—like 21—waiting to become number four. That's what!" he said jokingly.

She picked up her napkin and threw at him. "You see! Once again, you're right. I don't know whether to be furious or ask you to kiss me goodnight."

"You can do both," Colt told her as he took her hand and stood up.

"Will you kiss me goodnight, Colton Bradley?" she asked shyly.

"Yes, I will Riley...how many last names have you had now?" he said as he ducked.

"Oh, you are so in for it, mister!" she said as she chased him the whole three steps into the living room. "That was just mean," she said as she put her arms around him. "True but mean. Now will you kiss me? Please?"

Colt lowered his head and as he did he saw Riley's eyes close and her lips part in anticipation of their first kiss in over two years. Several seconds later, he raised his head as Riley said, "Wow! That was so worth the wait. I hope and pray it won't be our...oops. Sorry. I hope it won't be two years before you kiss me like that again, Colt."

"Depending on what you decide over the next couple of days, it won't have to be. I'll call you Friday evening and check in with you, okay?"

"You better. I've missed you, Colton Bradley."

"I've missed you too, crazy woman," he said as he ducked again. "I know! I know! I better get out of your house right now! How could I forget."

Riley walked him to the door and told him she'd had a wonderful evening and said she hoped maybe one day he'd not keep reminding her of the worst night of her life. He told her he'd try but couldn't make any promises then ducked a third time. She smiled and kissed him on the cheek before he left and wished him a pleasant night.

Colt closed his door around 3pm on Friday afternoon and dialed Riley's number. She picked it up on the first ring and said, "Colton? Hi! I'm so glad you called."

"Hi, Riley. It was great seeing you again. So what's the verdict?"

"Well...," she said. "I've done nothing but think since we talked and what you said about taking steps is the thing that keeps coming back to me. I feel like I've been living in a movie that keeps rewinding but never goes anywhere for as long as I can remember. So unless I truly am insane and want to find husband number 4—and divorce number 4, maybe we could have that drink sometime?" Her voice rose at the end which told Colt she trying not to be in control. That, plus the fact she understood the need to take a first step, led him to believe it might be very enjoyable to have a second...what? Date? Get together? The name wasn't that important whatever they might call it.

"Okay. If you're sure, that is. I don't want to go through the whole regret thing again."

"Oh, my gosh. I am so embarrassed. I did that to you so many times. I'd egg you on to go as far as I felt I could go then stop you. If that wasn't childish enough, I'd inflict my own guilt on you the next day as though you were the one who did the egging. Saying I'm sorry so sounds trite so I'll just hope you can forgive me and maybe even forget?" 

Another rise in her voice. Nice. "So can I pick you up around eight?"

"That sounds perfect, Colt. I've never been out for a drink before. Any ideas as to what I should wear?"

Riley knew Colt loved the way she dressed or at least he used to. She wanted to look her best for him regardless. "I'm sure you'll look amazing no matter what you wear, Riley. It's a very nice place but not stuffy or formal so anything betweens jeans and a formal gown should be fine, okay?"

"Okay. So wearing the things I used to wear for you is all right?"

"That'd be perfect. See you then. Bye, Riley."

More than a few guys had said Riley reminded them of Calista Flockhart. That was a fair comparison because Riley really was very thin, but Colt thought she looked more like Heidi Klum. She obviously wasn't that beautiful, but he thought she was better looking than Calista Flockhart and although he personally didn't think Flockhart was all that hot, she wasn't exactly unattractive, either. All that mattered was what Colt liked and he preferred women who were somewhere between athletic to very thin. Some guys liked women who had lots of nice curves, some liked women who were um...chubby—after all, they were called 'chubby chasers' for a reason, and a few even preferred BBWs who were um...very overweight. As a confirmed Libertarian, Colt was all about freedom of choice. "To each their own," he thought to himself as he pulled into a parking spot in front of Riley's apartment building.

Just as went to knock on the door, it opened as if on cue. "Hi! I've been waiting for you. I've been peeking through the peep hole every few seconds for the last ten minutes. I guess I'm a little nervous. Or maybe a little excited. Or maybe both." She paused and said, "Maybe I should just stop talking, huh?"




Step by Step



Colt said, "That's up to you. As long as you're not yelling at me, then it's all good."

Riley feigned indignation and said, "Okay. I deserved that. But if I promise to be nice, will you be nice, too?"

Colt was impressed. Riley was wearing a very sexy, long-sleeved mint-green sweater with a scoop neck and surprisingly, a rather short black skirt and what looked to be at least 3" heels. "Wow! You look amazing, Riley."

"Thank you! I was really hoping you'd like it. I kind of assumed your tastes were still roughly the same so if this works for you and for where we're going, then I'm very happy!"

"Oh, it works. It most definitely works. You know, you still look really, really good to me, Riley." Colt took her hands in his and said, "Is it okay if I kiss you hello?"

"Yes," she said very softly. "It's okay to kiss me anytime." She paused as he moved closer then whispered in his ear, "Or anywhere."

Colt kissed her the way he used to when they were dating. Riley responded in kind as her tongue met his. "Mmmmm," she moaned. "That's so nice. I've missed this."

Colt told her he had, too. "Shall we?" he asked.

Riley grabbed her purse and cardigan sweater and took his hand as he led her out of the door. She made sure to lock it and they headed downstairs to his car.

During the ride across town, they talked about family and friends for the first fifteen minutes before Colt changed the subject. "Riley? I want to talk to you about tonight."

"Am I in trouble already?" she asked.

"Be serious, okay? This is really important to me."

"Then it's important to me, too. Go ahead, Colt."

"If you're doing this—having your first-ever drink—because you want to break the rules or 'take a walk on the wild side' then you'll end up regretting it. I can't tell you how or what to feel, but if that's your motivation, then it might be best if we avoid alcohol."

"I'm not sure what you mean. Isn't this taking a small, first step?"

"Yes and no. It's definitely a step but the reason you're taking it is what's important. If deep down, you still believe the Church is true, then you'll end up feeling guilty for all of this. At some point, you'll run back to the Bishop and confess whatever you've done, beg for forgiveness, and end up back where you started. But if you're doing this because it's a willing choice not involving something 'sinful' then I think it's a good idea."

"Sinful? I don't understand. I feel like the college freshman again. Can Professor Bradley help me understand?"

"Okay, when you make dinner, do you worry about drinking Kook Aid instead of water?"

"No, of course not. Why would I? Because of the sugar or something?"

Maybe Riley wasn't as far along as he'd thought. "Let me put it this way. Could you now serve wine with dinner as easily as Kook Aid and feel no difference about your choice or would you think you're doing something 'wrong'?"

Riley thought for a moment then said, "Now I understand. Unless I can go out tonight and have a drink of alcohol and not see it any differently than choosing a glass of water, then I'm not ready to drink alcohol because I'm still living in fear of the Church."

"Exactly!" Colt was relieved that she understood this important point. While it might be fun to get her drunk and fuck the shit out of her, he had a long-range goal in mind and getting her there needed to be done very carefully one step at a time.

"The answer is, 'I'm not 100% sure.' I honestly believe I'm ready to make this transition away from the Church but as you pointed out, I've only been questioning things for a very short while and until we talked, I didn't see the Church as being the crux of the problem."

"And yet it is, Riley. It's the belief you hold that the Mormon Church is 'true' that prevents you from throwing off the shackles and living life on your terms. Until you can that, you will always be tentative and fearful. So again, are you sure you want to do this? I won't mind at all if you tell me you're not ready."

"Colt? I honestly don't know. What I do know is I'm very unhappy with my life and I want that to change. So I do want to take this first step. If I later determine it was a mistake, then so be it. But I have this feeling that everything you've told me is right. It's a little bit scary to think there's no one 'up there' listening or watching over us but there are so many reasons to believe that's the case. Admitting it is takes a lot of courage."

She reached over and took Colt's hand. "If I'm going to take this journey, there's no one I'd rather take it with. That's something of which I really am 100% sure."

"I'll be beside you every um...step...of the way, Riley. Unless, of course, you start walking backward. Then I'll have to let go of your hand once and for all. That's something of which I'm 100% sure."

The bar was busy but not at all noisy. People were talking quietly and someone was playing piano music. Riley held Colt's hand as he took her to the bar and suggested where to sit. "Are you okay?" he asked as she sat her things in her lap.

"Surprisingly, I'm very okay. It's funny to think I'm 30 years old and have never once been in a bar before. But this is very nice. I like the piano music and I really like the guy I'm here with." Riled smiled and Colt leaned over and kissed her briefly.

"So what should I try?" she asked. "I have absolutely no idea what tastes good or for that matter the difference between beer or wine or hard liquor."

"I'm going to order you something sweet so you'll enjoy it. Most drinks don't taste good the first few times but there's nothing quite as nice as a good wine with dinner or a cold beer on a hot day."

The bartender came over and asked, "What can I get you folks tonight? It's ladies' night until 9pm so the young lady can have two for the price of one."

"I'll have a glass of red wine and the lady will have a coffee liqueur with Tia Maria and Kahlua."

"Two of those for you then, hon?" he asked her.

"Oh, I've never tried alcohol before. My boyfriend can...oops...sorry, Colt...he can decide for me."

"Make the other drink a Grasshopper, please."

Fifteen minutes later, the good-looking bartender sat their three drinks in front of them.

Colt suggested she save the Grasshopper and try the liqueur first. They raised their glasses as he said, "To small steps!" 

"To small steps," Riley said as she took a small first sip. "Mmmm. That's not bad, Colt! This is actually very nice. Thank you!"

"It has some coffee in it so you're um...breaking two rules with one...drink."

Riley laughed and said, "I wondered what the mocha flavor was. It's kind of sweet but not too much so." She took another small sip and said, "It's actually delicious. This is very nice. I'm so glad you suggested it."

Over the next hour, Riley sipped her liqueur until it was gone then began working on the creme de menthe. "This is very nice, too! You know your booze, Colt!" she teased.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked.

"Very," she said. "The alcohol has a very pleasant effect. I can see why people enjoy drinking."

"Try a sip of wine and see if you like it," she suggested.

She took the glass, tipped it back, then made a bit of a face as she swallowed her first sip of wine. "Um, that's a little bit too strong for me. It's kind of bitter, too."

Colt smiled and told her that was a pretty typical reaction. They'd made more small talk until Riley finished her second drink. "I feel slightly tipsy," she confessed. 

"Are you enjoying it?" Colt asked her.

"I am. Very much. But I'm enjoying doing this with you even more," she told him. "Colt—can I ask you something?"

"Of course. Anything," he told her.

"That last night at my house in Roanoke. You said something that's bothered me ever since."

"What's that?" he asked. "How about we dance while we talk? Would that be okay?"

"That sounds wonderful," she replied. She carried her things to an empty table near the small dance floor and set them down.

They held one another close as Colt said, "So what is it that's stayed with you all this time, Riley?"

"You said I wouldn't admit what I wanted most but that you'd gladly let me have it but the social mask I wear wouldn't let me do that. Admit it, that is. What did you mean by that?"

"Are you sure you want to get into this right now?" Colt asked as her brushed her pretty hair back and away from her face.

"I don't want you to hurt me, Colt. If it's going to hurt, then don't tell me. But if it's something you think I have to know then, well, yes...I want you to tell me."

She was staring up into his eyes. Her look was trusting and...needful.

"I would never intentionally hurt you again, Riley. What I'm going to say is my honest opinion. It's what I believe is true about you. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure I've got this right. But first, I need to tell you something about myself, okay?"

"Of course. I want to know everything about you, Colt."

"You know how much I like it when you wear something like this, right?"

"Uh, huh. I do."

"And unless things have changed, you enjoy wearing what I like, right?"

Riley smiled and said, "Of course, I do. I like pretty sweaters myself so the fact that you like them, too, makes it easy."

Colt took a deep breath and said, "I don't just like them, Riley. I have an...I have this..."

"What is it, Colt? What do you have?"

He sighed then looked right at her as he said, "I have a...it's not just a preference. It's more of an...obsession. I'd say 'fetish' but that doesn't do it justice."

"That doesn't sound so awful. So you like pretty sweaters. Why is that such a big deal? If you liked silk blouses, would that be any different?"

"It's just that, well...it's gotten so bad I can't...I'm unable to...I can't have sex without them."

"Really? You need a woman to wear something like this to bed in order to um...function?

Colt had vowed never to feel guilty about anything again but this was so deeply personal that it was difficult to say out loud but it had to be said. Riley noticed and said, "Oh, Colt! Don't be embarrassed. Please. I'm not judging. I'm just trying to understand. That's all. It's different but it isn't...weird or anything. Is that all there is? Is that your big secret?" She was being very kind and not at all critical which made things easier for Colt.

"Yes and no. I mean, that's my big thing but it ties into what I think is um...your big thing."

Riley held him close and said quietly, "That's what I'm dying to find out from you. I honestly don't know what it is but I'm confident you do. So would you tell me what it is?" 

Colt had forgotten how beautiful she was this close. "You are so incredibly beautiful," he told her.

Riley's eyes darted back and forth between his. She was...hungry. She...needed him. "Thank you for saying that. I haven't felt beautiful in a very long time but you make me feel that way."

Colt kissed her softly. "Riley? Have you ever asked yourself why you stayed stuck in what you called the movie that kept rewinding? Why you keep looking for some new guy so often?"

"If you'd asked me that last week I'd have told you I was looking for love."

"And now?" he asked her.

"I know that isn't love because..." her voice trailed off and she looked away from him.

"Because why, Riley? What's changed?"

She looked back up at him and said, "Because...this is what love feels like. And I haven't felt it since you walked out of my life, Colt."

He gently stroked one of her cheeks with this hand as he said, "Then you understand there's a deeper need inside you than just love?"

Riley was confused and said, "I'm not sure what you mean. What could be a deeper need than love?"

Colt held her close and said, "It isn't so much that it's a deeper need, it's that your need can only be met in a certain way. Just like mine."

"You mean you need me...her...to wear something like this even if you love her. Is that what you're saying?"

Colt nodded. "I need a woman who understands my need and who will love me unconditionally and give that to me gladly, willingly, and without reservation. And in your case, you need a man who will love you unconditionally while giving you what it is you need to feel loved and complete."

"Maybe it's the alcohol, Colt, but I honestly don't understand. About me, that is. I understand your need and I would so gladly give that to you. But what is it I need? That's the thing I don't understand."

"Are you sure, are you really sure, you're ready to hear this?"

"I'm sure. You've been right all along about everything, Colt. I trust you. So whatever it is you tell, I'll trust that you're right."

"Riley, there's a reason you can't be satisfied with any one man. I'm not saying you can't love only one man, I'm just saying you have a need no one man can fulfill. Not even the one man you'll love."

"Colt? I told you I'm not good at this kind of thing. So please...just say it. I promise I won't be upset."

"You need a loving husband who will let you have...other men."

Riley froze in place and said, "Colt? How can you say that? I'm hinting around all over the place that I'm in love with you and then you tell me you want me to...to be with other men? I'm sorry but I can't accept that. I made a mistake letting you go before and I'll do nearly anything to keep you this time but I only want you. Just you, Colt. I swear." 

Her eyes now had a look of desperation in them. For the briefest of moments, Colt thought again maybe he'd misjudged. Maybe Riley could love only one man and maybe that one man could be him. But something deep inside knew he was wrong about that. He knew Riley was capable of loving one man, but he also knew she was incapable of being satisfied with only one man.

"I didn't tell you it would be easy to hear this, Riley. I only told you that it was something you needed to hear. And you also need to hear that I would be so willing to give you what I know you need because I also know you would love me—and only me—with all your heart."

"Then why in the world would I ever need anyone else? Please help me understand that, Colt? Can you?"

"At the risk of sounded like some kind of tribal sage, I can only reveal the truth to you, Riley. I can't make you accept it. You just need to examine the movie you've been starring in and look at each scene. Why do you need a new man every two years? Why isn't one guy enough? If you can break free of the moral restrictions on sexuality, if you can accept that words like 'adultery' and 'fornication' have no meaning between consenting adults, then you can let go and accept who you are without guilt. You can be..."

Riley stepped back and said, "I understand what you're saying now. You're telling me I'm a whore. You think I'm some kind of slut who can't control her wants and desires. I said I wouldn't get angry, but I think I want you to take me home now."

She turned and picked up her things and waited. They didn't speak all the way to the car or the rest of the way home.

"Can I walk you in?" Colt asked her.

"I don't think so. In fact, I'm not sure I want to see you again, Colt. I didn't think you had the ability to be so cruel and to hurt me so badly again but..."

She pushed open her door to get out when Colt reached over and grabbed her arm. "Riley? Before you go, please do me one favor. Please ask yourself if maybe, just maybe, I might actually be right. And if I am, I want you to know I meant what I said. I will let you have other lovers as long as you only love me because...because I'm so in love with...you."

She didn't respond or even turn around. She opened the door, swung her legs out, and stood up. "Good night, Colt," she said as she closed the door and headed toward her apartment.

Chapter 3

After the third day without hearing from Riley, Colt began to realize she wasn't going to be calling. He toyed around with the idea of showing up at her apartment or even going to the clinic where she worked, but he'd pushed as hard as he dared on his end. Riley was going to have to the pulling on her end for this to work and for that to happen, it meant she'd have to accept the truth. Colt wasn't sure she could. After all, dealing with one's own loss of faith was monumental for most people. Adding to it the stress of accepting another huge, major life change like this was really too much to handle at the same time.

Colt took satisfaction in knowing he'd been honest. He let Riley know how he felt about her. He shared his own embarrassing sexual needs with her. And most importantly, he told her what he still believed was the truth about herself. It wasn't his responsibility to make her accept it. He'd tried and he'd done so with integrity so there was nothing more he could do.

On the drive home Friday evening, Colt decided it was time to move on. He wasn't sure what that meant exactly, but he couldn't sit around waiting for Riley. He had to admit he'd definitely noticed the way the new girl in accounting dressed and the way she smiled at him. He guessed she was probably around 32 or so and since Colt like older women, that was just fine with him. He'd make it a point to ask her out next week as a kind of reluctant 'first step' of his own in a new direction.

Bradley couldn't remember the last time he'd had more than one beer but he was opening a third when the doorbell rang around 8pm. As he headed toward the door, he took a long drink and said out loud, "Shit. What is it now? If this our attorney coming to tell me about that guy who threatened to sue us over..."

He could see her lithe figure through the glass on the side of the door. His heart stopped at the same time he did. He sat the beer on a sideboard near the door. He punched in the alarm code and opened it tentatively. "Riley. Hi. I didn't expect to see you again. Um, do you want to come in?"

"Yes, thank you," she said as she stepped in.

"May I take your coat?" he asked.

"No, thank you. I don't expect to be here long. I just needed to ask you something. I apologize for coming so late and without calling. Do you mind?"

"No, not at all. Come on in. Can I get you anything?" he offered.

"No thank you," she said again.

"Please, have a seat, Riley."

"This won't take long, Colt. I just needed to make sure I understood something. I don't want to offend you, but this has been bothering me terribly so I need to ask."

"Okay, go ahead. And I promise you won't offend me."

"Why do you think I'm a...a whore? What have I ever done to make you think that way about me? I know I've been married...more than once...but why does that make me a whore? Do you have any idea how that makes me feel, Colt? I thought I was falling in love with you again and then you...you hurt me so bad. I'm not a whore and I resent you saying I am."

Colt got up to go sit beside her when she put her hand up. "Please. Stay over there. I don't want you anywhere near me. I just need you to explain what I did to make you feel this way about me. And you smell like beer. That's disgusting," she said caustically.

Colt put his hands together between his legs then sat up straight and looked at Riley. "I'm not sure where to even begin," he said.

"Why don't you start with the truth?" she said bitterly.

Colt edged up toward the front of the sofa and said, "Riley, I never meant to hurt you."

"Well, it's a little late for that, isn't it?" she said interrupting him.

"I'm sorry. That was never my intention. Riley, I want to clear one thing up right now. I never said you were a...that word."

"Oh, okay. You didn't say the word so the fact you very strongly implied it makes it go away. Is that the way you think, Colt?"

Colt shook his head. "That's just wrong, Riley. I not only didn't say that, I didn't even imply it. You may have inferred it, but I did not say that nor have I ever so much as thought that. Ever. All I was saying was..."




Step by Step



"Oh, I heard every word, Colton. You told me I need other men. Only one kind of woman is like that. So what other meaning could I take away? What other meaning is there?"

"Do you think I'm a sicko?" he asked.

"What? Why would I think that? I think you were mean to me, but why would I feel that way about you?"

"Because I can't...get off...without a material object. A fetish. Does that make you think I'm a 'sicko' or any such word."

"No, of course not. It's not exactly the kind of thing most men...no, any other man I've ever heard of...need or want, but it isn't something people would find socially reprehensible if they learned about it. But if people think a woman is a whore..."

"Riley? At the risk of angering you even more, may I ask you to listen to what you just said? Did you notice how you used the term 'socially reprehensible?' If I may, might I then ask you to ask yourself who gets to decide what's normal, acceptable, abnormal, or in this case—reprehensible? Who are those people and why would we let them—whoever they may be—have any say in our lives?"

Riley looked away and began fidgeting nervously. "People talk, Colt. It's what people do."

"They do but the bigger question is why does their opinion matter? What is it about them that makes their opinion more valid than yours or mine or anyone else's? That's exactly the kind of thing I had to give up in order to be free to live my life the way I want to live it. Aren't there people back in Roanoke at church who think I'm an apostate?"

"Of course," Riley said quietly.

"Technically, I am. I don't believe in 'The Gospel of Jesus Christ' which is Mormon-speak for Mormonism. Therefore, I am an apostate—in their view. But because I'm happy with my decision to leave the Mormon Church, their opinion holds no sway over my life. I don't care what word they use to describe me. It has no power over me and it never will."

He stood up again and moved toward her. This time she didn't stop him. He reached out for her hand which she allowed him to take but it was limp and cold. "Riley—honey. I'm in love with you. I don't care what anyone else says or thinks about me or you. All I care about is what you think about me and what I can do to make you happy. You have a special need just like I do. The only difference is the importance you attach to the meaning of what you think others might call you for having yours. But who cares what they think or say? No one will ever know what we do other than you or me and I not only accept you as you are, I am crazy in love with you. And I have never, ever even once thought of you...like that. So if you and I agree we both have...unique needs...and we find love by meeting them for each other, what difference does it make what any other human being on earth thinks? Why is needing other men 'worse' than needing someone to wear a specific thing? Why are those kinds of needs somehow less valid than needing traditional things in a relationship? Why are either of them 'bad, odd, strange, weird, or sick?' Why do we let other people have that kind of power over us?"

Riley say there for several moments before saying, "I don't know why." Colt didn't speak while Riley sat there looking down at the floor. "Colt? If you don't see me like that, how do you see me?" Riley finally looked at him. Her eyes were imploring. She needed to know how he really felt about her. "And why did you call me 'honey'?"

"You ask a lot of questions, Miss Riley."

"Colt, please. Not tonight. I'm barely holding it together here. Please don't tease me."

He put his hand on her shoulder and said, "I feel like you're someone special, Riley. You're a kindred lost soul. Like me, you're a fish out of water. Do you know how long I felt guilty, bad, or embarrassed about my needs?"

"But yours are so...tame. Mine are..."

"Yours," Cold said. "Your needs are yours. That's all. There's nothing more to it. We each need what we need but society and especially religion, tell us we should all fit into nice, neat boxes where two people meet, fall in love, get married, have children, go to work, take a vacation every year, then retire—and in that order. There's no room for exceptions because it's a 'one-size-fits-all' approach to life and that just doesn't work for everyone. Look. I'm sure there are needs some women have I couldn't meet. I can't name them off the top of my head, but it has to be the case. Yours is something I could meet. It's something I would even enjoy doing with you."

"How? How could you, Colt? How could you ever even...look at me after...knowing... Help me understand that because I couldn't meet that need in you. It would kill me. So why is it different for you?"

"Because I know what it means to want something so bad it hurts. I know what it feels like to want something people think is...wrong. What we want; what we need...isn't wrong as long as you and I both think it's right. Is what you want legal? Yes. Do we need to tell another soul on earth what we do? No. So if I'm okay with it and it's what you want and need but can't find and are even afraid to look for...if you can find it in me, then tell me why it's wrong, Riley?"

Colt felt Riley's body shake. She was crying. "Hey, it's okay. Don't be upset."

She turned toward him and put her arms around him. As she did, she began to sob. Uncontrollably. He just sat there and held her until she had nothing left to cry. It just kept coming and coming. After nearly fifteen minutes of unchecked weeping, Riley finally managed to get her breathing somewhat under control. When she finally lifted her head up it looked like someone had given her two black eyes. "I don't have a silk handkerchief this time but I can get you some Kleenex. Wait right there."

"No. Don't go. Please? I have to say something else. I'm scared, Colt. I've never been so afraid of anything in my whole life."

"What are you afraid of?"

Riley not only had two black eyes, she had snot streaming down her lip and tearstained cheeks. Neither of them cared because that didn't matter.

"Of being happy. I've never been happy in my entire life, Colt. I told myself I was bad. I believed I was even evil. I know you didn't call me that word but I've called myself that for as long as I can remember. I've felt so ashamed for so long. I really have run from one marriage to the next trying to fill this need that can't be filled that way. And you not only understand me, you accept me for who I am. And that means I could finally be happy if I can stop hating the woman you say you..."

"Love? Is that the word you were looking for, sweetheart?" Cold said as he tried to wipe away some of the mess on her pretty face.

"Do you really love me, Colt? Do you love the real me? Because even though you didn't use that word, that's what I am. Deep down, I am a whore." Riley no sooner said that word again than she began to cry again.

Colt stood up, went around in front of her and got on his knees in front of her. He put his hands on her shoulders and said, "Riley? Look at me—right now." Riley did look up but she couldn't make eye contact. He gently lifted her chin and turned her face toward his. "Just like that. Now stop...crying." She blinked several times and willed herself to stop.

"Okay. I'm sorry. Go ahead," she said.

"I really do love you. I've loved you for a very long time. But you MUST learn to view your needs as normal as...well...drinking Kool Aid for dinner and stop thinking that disparaging word applies to you. It doesn't. Period. And I called you 'honey' because I want to marry you, Riley. I'm willing to be victim #4." Riley laughed and managed to send a stream of snot flying into Colt's hair.

"Oh, my goodness. I am SO sorry. Here, let me..."

"Riley, stop." Colt took her hands in his. "Stop deflecting. Stop trying to play this off. Just listen to me. Our life together isn't going to be some kind of non-stop orgy." Riley managed a laugh. "Because of our unique needs, sex will be a focal point yes, but I want US to be the most important aspect. I want to spend my life with you, Riley Peterson, because I'm in love with you. I just need you to be there for me in my special way and I will be there for you and yours." He watched her eyes as he poured out his heart. He could tell she believed him. "There's something I haven't shared with you yet because it's hard even for me to explain."

"What could be harder than this has been, Colton Bradley?" she asked him.

"I...I get really...turned on...thinking about you and...you know...you being with another guy."

"Colt, this is so embarrassing for me just trying to deal with admitting how I feel. So please don't say things you don't mean because you think they might convince me to accept the...new me? faster because it would kill me if you did. Just be honest with me and that will be enough. You've already said everything I ever dreamed of hearing but never dreamed I could ever tell anyone. Even then, I feel a sense of deep shame for having these feelings."

"I'm not saying it for your benefit, Riley. I'm actually very into helping meet your needs. I think it would be crazy hot finding the perfect guy to bring home to you. To watch you watch me getting turned on seeing you getting turned on. This sense of shame is yet another guilt trip laid on you by religion. If I'm okay with it and you're okay with it and the other guy is okay with it, then what's wrong with it? Hurting children is evil. Having sex with another adult isn't. It's that simple, Riley."

"Oh, my God!" she said as she put her hands over her face. "That has been THE biggest fantasy of my life. To have a husband who loves me more than life itself but who loves by showing it in...that way. I should be screaming for joy but hearing those words being said brings all the guilt and shame I've ever experienced for wanting those things all these years crashing down on me."

"Shhh. That's okay. Getting past that will take some time. You have to give yourself permission to do what you want to do first, while you work on accepting that I want this for myself, too." Colt smiled at her and said, "But you will have to wear something I like while he's fucking you."

"Oh, my God, Colton Bradley! You are so terrible. And I'm such a wh..."

"Hey. You're not...that. But even if you were, then you'd be my whore and I promise to love you because of it and not in spite of it."

"My head is spinning worse than it did the first time I drank. I think I'd actually like a drink if you wouldn't mind. I'll go freshen up while you get one, okay...honey?"

Colt helped her stand up then put his arms around and bent down to kiss her. "Don't you dare! I'm a mess. Let me just go..."

He shut her up by putting his lips on hers and pressing hard. It worked. She stopped talking, stopped crying, and started moaning. "Oh, wow. I love you so much, Colton Bradley."

"Will you stay with me tonight, Riley...Bradley?"

Riley was so overwhelmed all she could do was nod before more tears came. "Go clean up and I'll pour you a glass of red wine. You've got a lot of new thing to try, young lady."

When Riley returned a few minutes later, she was still wearing her black coat. "Are you planning on sleeping in that tonight?" Colt said teasingly.

"Oh, right. My coat. I suppose I should take it off, huh? I mean, if I'm going to have a glass of wine with you and if you want me to spend the night, I probably won't be needing it."

"It seems pretty unlikely since it's comfortably warm in here and since a heavy coat isn't the object of my obsession."

Riley was still hesitant. "This coat is a metaphor for my life. Or would it be a simile?"

Colt said, "If you use 'like' or 'as' it's a simile. But first you have to tell me what the coat represents.

Riley sat down and put her hands in her lap. "It represents the outer shell or as you called it, the veneer I keep in place to prevent people from seeing what I want to keep hidden from the world."

"Then what's underneath the coat and what does it represent?" 

Riley stood up, unbuttoned the coat and let it fall to the floor. Underneath was one of the sexiest long-sleeved, rib-knit sweaters Colt had ever seen. It was a soft beige with a jewel neckline which held a beautiful silver pendant. Riley also wore a dark brown, very short skirt with heels that matched the color of her skirt. "The real me," she said. "The one who fantasizes about a man like you who will not only share my deepest desires but enjoy doing so. I didn't wear this to work today, Colt. I changed into it before I came here because no matter how angry I was, I couldn't stop hoping you might say something to change how I feel. So I guess the sweater represents my approval of your needs and it's a recognition of my own. So metaphor or simile?" she said softly.

"Beautiful," Colt told her. "Stunning is a better word."

"I have all kinds of wicked desires, Colt, but I'm not an aggressive woman. Can you please take the lead and teach me? Can you show me how this is supposed to work?"

"Why don't you sit down and have a glass of wine with me. We'll talk and then I'll...show you."

Riley sat next to him on the sofa as she sipped her wine. The taste was still too harsh for her but the effects were very pleasant. "Tell how this is going to work, Colt. How am I going to be with...you know."

Colt put his arm around and said, "We can fine tune it as we go but initially I see me finding out what kind of guys appeal to you and then I find a very confidential way to approach them and see if they're interested and can be trusted. Although I'm pretty sure I know what kind of guys you like based on your um...past choices."

"Are you making fun of me?" she asked while she finished her wine.

"No I'm not, honey. I'm just letting you know I don't think it's a secret you like younger guys who are the shy, quiet type."

Riley laid her head on his shoulder and put her hand on his chest. "It seems surreal to be sitting here talking with you about the thing I've been to afraid to even mention to anyone. I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off me and I can breath. But what's best about it is how you make me feel. I don't feel dirty or evil anymore. I feel...happy." She looked up at him and said, "For the first time in my life, I feel really happy. Maybe content is the better word because I don't feel like I'm at war with myself and that's how I've felt for so long I can't remember the last time it wasn't that way."

"Are you going to be okay if we sleep together tonight? Are you at least reasonably confident you won't wake up tomorrow feeling remorseful?"

"Yes. I'm absolutely sure. In fact, I've never been more sure of anything in my life, Colt. Except maybe that I'm in love with you."

Bradley put his glass down and stood up. "Come on. Let's go have some fun."

Riley'd been married three times but she'd never really been satisfied before. Having a young husband was exciting but his lack of experience was frustrating. Colt wasn't the most experienced lover but he'd had enough practice since he quit going to church that he could hold his own with any woman who wasn't a pro. And Riley was no pro.

"Colt? I know you're gonna think I know what to do because I've been married...three times...but I have no idea what you need or want from me. Will you teach me how to please you?"

Colt took her in his arms and kissed her. "Just follow my lead like you did on the dance floor."

"Okay," she said as they kissed.

"Unbutton my shirt, sweetheart. One button at a time. In between, kiss me. Long and slow with lots of tongue."

"Gladly," she purred.

Five minutes later, his shirt was on the floor. "Now do the same with my belt buckle, pants, and zipper."

In two more minutes, he was wearing only his boxers. His cock was slightly swollen with blood but nowhere near erect. Riley slid them off and said, "It's beautiful, honey. I love it!"

Colt sat on the bed and told Riley, "Get on your knees for me, baby. I want to be able to see your beautiful face."

As she did she said, "Colt? I've never done this before. No kidding. I always thought it was...so gross. But I want to more than anything with you. I just don't know how. I'm sorry I'm such a...prude."

Colt held up his index finger and said, "Take this into your mouth." 

Riley lowered her head and wrapped her lips around it. "Now slide your head up and down being careful not to use your teeth but definitely use your tongue."

Riley did as she was told and after several strokes Colt told her, "Now do that same thing with my cock."

Riley blushed when he said that. She put her hands over her face and said, "I've never heard any man use that word, either. Are you sure you want me for a wife? I can't even please my own lover. How am I supposed to have others?"

"One step at a time, honey. Step by step. That's how. Say it out loud for me?"

"That word?" she said with a quizzical look on her face.

"Yes. That word. You've got to past this kind of shyness in the bedroom. There's no hurry. But you do need to make progress. Can you say it for me?"

"I think so," she said as she looked down toward the floor.

"Uh, uh. Look at me, beautiful. Look right at me and tell me what you want. There's no need to be embarrassed because there's nothing wrong with that word. So go ahead."

He reached out and stroked her pretty hair as she looked up at him. She held his gaze then finally said, "Colt? May I please have your...cock?"

He smiled and said, "That was perfect. Of course you can. Just please keep looking at me while you take me in your mouth."

"Okay. I'll try," she said as she wrapped her tiny fingers around his now-fully erect shaft. Her lipstick was a kind of copper shade which matched her nails. Seeing them together was a huge turn on for Bradley. He also loved seeing how her sweater clung to her body and especially around her small shoulders. This was what he'd dreamed of for so very long.

Riley's eyes stayed on his as her warm mouth sank down toward his pubic hair and remained there as she came back up. "Put your other hand under my balls, sweetheart," he urged her.

"Okay," she said during a brief moment when her pretty mouth was above his cock. "Like this?" she asked as she cupped his balls.

"Mmmm. Yes. Now roll them in your hand for me."

Riley was a fast learner. She was now gently rolling his balls in her left hand while holding his large cock with her right as she fellated him. "Does this feel good, Colt?" she asked.

"It's wonderful. It feels so fucking good!" he said.

Riley giggled. "That's another word I've never heard any man say," she told him in between strokes. "But...I like it...when you talk...dirty...to me."

"I'm glad. I want you to talk that way to me, too," he told her. "Keep sucking my cock but put your hands behind your back and don't stop looking at me, okay?"

"Okay," she said as she clasped her hands behind her.

"Oh, God, that feels good!" he moaned. "You are so fucking beautiful. I love you so much."

Riley's large, almond-shaped eyes were locked onto his. She moaned in return. Colt hadn't had sex in several weeks and he wasn't even close to being ready to cum yet.

"Come here, baby," he told her. "Take off your skirt and panties for me."

Riley stood and unzipped her short skirt which fell around her ankles. Colt reached out and helped her remove her beige colored panties. "I wore stockings instead of pantyhose. Is that what you like?" she asked as he slid his hand between her legs.

Riley gasped as Colt told her, "It is. You look perfect." She was very wet and Colt's finger slid in effortlessly.

"Oh, my...gosh," she moaned. "That feels so...good."

Colt pulled her onto the bed next to him then laid her on her back. He reached for her pussy again and stroked it gently. "Feel good?" he asked.




Step by Step



"Yes. It feels...wonderful. Please don't stop."

"I won't if you'll tell me what I'm stroking," he said.

"Mmmm. That's my...pussy," she said as she sighed loudly. "My warm, wet pussy. Does it feel good to you, baby? Do you like my pussy?" she asked.

"I love it," he said as he slid between her legs and slid his tongue inside her.

Riley gasped and called out, "Oh my...goodness! That feels so...amazing. Oh, Colt!"

Colt ran his tongue up and down over her clit pushing hard then softly then harder again.

"Oh, my..."

"Say it for me, Riley. Say it the right way."

Her hand was on his head feeling his thick, black hair. "Oh, my...God. Oh...my...GOD! Ohhhh. Oh, God, that feels so..."

"Say it, honey. Let it all go. Say it for me."

Riley's breathing was heavy and deep. "That feels so...so...so...fucking good! Oh, God, Colt. I love that!"

Colt kept the pressure on her clit. Riley was trying to pull him up to fuck her but he wouldn't move. "I want you inside me, Colt," she gasped.

"Not yet," he told her. Riley was begging him but he refused. He waited until he felt her body tense up, then he mounted her and drove it home. Riley screamed out in pleasure as she came so hard it scared her. 

"Oh, my God! Fuck me, Colt! Oh, God, I love you so much. Oh...fuck. Oh, God. Oh...shit." She was still screaming as Colt exploded inside her. He rammed her so hard he thought she might put a hole in the wall with her head. Spent, he collapsed on top of her.

"That was fucking amazing," he said.

"It was amazing getting fucked by you!" she said with a giggle. "Was I okay?" she asked sincerely. "Did I do things right?"

Colt sat up and stroked her face. She looked like a tiny angel. "You were perfect. Everything was perfect." He kissed her then asked, "Have you never really given a guy a blow job before?"

She blushed again and said, "Oh, my gosh no! And no one has ever...gone down on me before, either. I feel like I just lost my virginity!" They both laughed.

"But did you like everything we did?" he asked with genuine interest.

She put her arms around his neck and said playfully, "Are you kidding me? I fucking loved it! Can we do it again?"

Colt felt himself growing hard and said, "Why, I believe we can. But first, can you clean off all your pussy juices on my cock?"

"Mmmm. With pleasure!" she purred. "I'd fucking love to!" They both laughed again, kissed again, and then fucked again.

Riley fell asleep in his arms for the first time an hour later. When she awoke, Colt was beside her stroking her hair. "Good morning, beautiful," she said.

"You really are here. I was so afraid that was just a dream." She looked at her arm and said, "I guess I fell asleep wearing this." She hadn't taken off her sweater. "Should I plan on sleeping like this?" she asked seriously.

"No. Not at all. I only really need it during sex."

"Well. I mean, I'm still wearing it and we're both here in bed together. So..."

Colt spent a lot less time in her mouth or eating her out. Instead, he fucked her in every position he could think of. Riley moaned, sighed, groaned, and scream the entire time. Before she came a third time, Colt pulled out of her causing Riley to beg him to get back inside.

"Uh, uh," he said. He began using his finger to drive her crazy. He knew women came from clitoral stimulation and he wanted her on the edge.

"Please give it to me, Colt! I want your cock inside me. Please!"

He kept circling her clit. As he did, he lifted himself up and began whispering in her ear. "I want you to think about me bringing home your first date."

Riley gasped and pushed against his hand. He pulled back. "Uh, uh. Not until you tell me what you want."

"I want your...cock...in my pussy."

"Oh no, Riley. You're not um...getting off...that easily. Tell me what kind of guy you want me to bring home to you. Tell me what you're going to wear for me when he...fucks you...while I watch."

"Oh, my...God! Oh...fffuck. I can't say that to you. Just let me cum. Please? Please let me cum!"

"No way. Not until you tell me. What kind of guy should I look for?"

Riley was close to hyperventilating. "Tell me and I'll let you cum, okay?"

"Oh, God...that's my deepest secret. I can't say it. I can't. Oh, God! Don't stop!"

Colt took his finger away and Riley reached for her pussy. Colt took her hands and held them. "I told you no, Riley. Now be a good girl and tell me."

He let go with one hand and touched her clit off and on to keep her on the verge.

"Okay. Okay...I will. Just don't stop. Oh my God...He has to be...really...really cute."

"Good girl," he told her. "What else?" He circled her clit once then stopped.

Riley gasped. "I like guys who are cute and...and...very young."

"That's my girl. Very nice. Tell me the rest and you can cum, okay?"

Riley nodded. She kept trying to push to get more pressure. "I want...I want a cute, young boy who looks...very...innocent...and sweet and...naive. That's everything. I swear! Now may I please cum? Please???!!"

Colt pressed hard and steadily on her button until she shuddered so hard he thought she might shake apart. When she was finished, he offered her his finger which she happily took and sucked clean.

"Are you embarrassed?" he asked as he stroked her messy hair.

"Yes," she said without looking at him.

"Then you can't have anyone else until you can tell me what you just admitted without feeling that guilty about it. When you can look at me and say it without any sense of shame, I'll let you have someone else."

"You're so mean to mean," she said wryly.

"But you love me anyway, right?" he teased.

She sighed and said, "More than I can say. I love you so much it hurts. Even when I hate you like right now."

He pulled her up on top of himself and said, "I'm the guy you love to hate, aren't I?"

She smiled and said, "Yes, you are. You are the meanest person I know, Colton Bradley. But then...it took being mean...no, honest...to make me admit who I am and what I really want. And I love you for that. I love you for...everything, Colt."

The next day Riley had to sign for a registered letter. It was a document from the county courthouse which read: Dissolution of Marriage. She was so excited she couldn't wait to tell Colt in person so she called him at work to share the good news. 

Colt formally proposed the next evening after he'd had a chance to buy a very large, very beautiful diamond solitaire ring. Riley told him yes then said yes—twice. They set a date for thirty days later. Colt didn't want a large wedding and Riley had her fair share of them. Okay, she'd had two other women's fair shares in addition to her own but... It would be a very small ceremony with just a couple of close friends whom they could trust not to say anything to Riley's mom who wasn't doing well. The added stress would be too much for her.

"So what do you want me to wear for a wedding dress?" she asked him. "There are some really pretty sweater dresses and I think one of them would be perfect. What do you think?"

Colt told her, "That sounds wonderful, but I think I'd like you to wear a beautiful, white wedding dress for me. Is that okay?"

"Oh, Colt! Are you serious? That would really be okay with you? I wanted that SO bad but was afraid to even mention it. You can't imagine how happy that makes me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she gushed as she kissed several times very quickly. "I have no idea how I ever got so lucky to find you, Colt."

"It was a miracle. You see, God knew you needed a man who'd let you fuck other men so He sent me to you."

Riley laughed. "I have to say that makes about as much sense as the kinds of things people attribute to God's will. How I ever bought into that nonsense I'll never know."

"You're not alone. Well over a billion people believe Mohammed flew on a magic horse or that people lived on bread alone for forty years so why not believe He brought us together?"

While both of them were content to be married by the Justice of the Peace, Riley wanted a nice reception. She chose a very upscale hotel for it and for their first night together as husband and wife. The Ritz Charlotte was $450 a night but it was worth every penny. Both the large hall they rented and their room were truly first class and it was, after all, just one night. They'd start their actual honeymoon the next day by spending a week in Las Vegas. It was Riley's choice. She wanted to see it all. The gambling, the drinking, the shows. The allure of Sin City was too much for her to resist. Colt couldn't believe how much she'd changed and he knew it wasn't for his benefit.

Two weeks before their wedding, they were in bed together when Riley said, "I don't know if this is the right time to bring this up or not, but I know you've been waiting for me to say it so here goes." She sat up and liked right at him and said, "Colt, whenever you want to bring me my first...date...I'd like him to be very young, very cute, and very shy. And I want you to be there holding my hand when he...fucks me. I want you to kiss me when his cock slides inside my pussy. I want you to tell me how much you love me when that happens. Will you do that for me, sweetheart?"

Colt raised up and leaned on his elbow. "That was very convincing. I'm impressed. No guilt? No shame?"

"Uh, uh. None. Just so you know, I don't need—or want—anyone anytime soon, I just wanted to get that out of the way. I want to concentrate on you and us and no one else for a while, okay?"

"So how often do you think you'll want to um, date someone else, honey?"

"I'm not exactly sure. I know I got restless about six months in each of my marriages. I'd start picking fights and making him miserable. I guess since I knew I could only have one at a time, I needed him to keep coming back to me to make me feel loved or something. And they always did until I finally ended things. I guess if there's one thing I still feel guilty about, it's the way I treated them. They were all good, decent guys, Colt. I was just such a miserable, needy, manipulative little bitch. And before you say anything, I was a bitch. That's not up for discussion. So maybe every six months or so?" she told him.

"Hmmm. That might work out well. Your birthday is almost exactly six months after our wedding so you could have a special present on your birthday and a special anniversary gift six months later. Then again, something tells me you wouldn't say no to an early birthday present, would you?"

Riley tilted her head then said, "Well, I don't suppose I'd be angry if you didn't wait the whole six months, but waiting will be so delicious as the tension and excitement build. So delicious that just thinking about it has my pussy soaking wet. Can you possibly probe me to try and find the leak?" she said with mock urgency.

"I can do you one better. I have something we can use to plug your leak."

"Mmmm. Is it large enough to fill the hole?" she asked with feigned innocence.

"Oh, yes. I've never had a leak I couldn't stop. Here, let me show you."

Colt rode her hard and made her cum three times. Exhausted, she fell asleep in his arms.

Chapter 4

Colt's mom and dad were in town for the wedding and Bart was going to be his best man. Colt wore a tux but Brad wouldn't have it. Just getting him to put on a tie was hard enough. "You look SO handsome!" his mother told them as they got ready to head to the County Courthouse. "Thanks, Mom. You look beautiful. I'm glad you and Dad are here today."

Riley's two sisters finally agreed to come to her wedding. She thought about not telling them but there was no way she could do that to them. They gave her quite a bit of grief about a fourth marriage and when she told them she'd stopped attending church they were devastated. But in the end, she was their sister and they agreed to drive down for the short ceremony and the reception. Most importantly, neither would spill the beans to their mom.

Colt and his family arrived just minutes ahead of Riley. When she came in, Colt was blown away by how beautiful she looked. It wasn't a long, flowing gown but a short, sexy dress that was still very classy. It was an off-the-shoulder dress with a very tight-fitting bodice and a soft, short, lacy skirt. She had her hair done as well as her nails and makeup. He'd never seen her look so good before. "Wow! I've always thought you were beautiful, but this is nothing short of breathtaking!" he told her.

"Thank you, honey," she said. She was carrying a small white purse and a white, long-sleeved, rib-knit shrug. "That's for later," she whispered. "You know, for when you deflower me later tonight."

Fifteen minutes later, they were Mr. and Mrs. Colton Bradley. The limo took them all to the Ritz where they spent the next three hours dancing, drinking, and enjoying the hors d'oeuvres.

At 9pm, they said goodnight to family and friends and headed to the elevator. Their room was on the 15th floor overlooking the city and it was everything one would expect in a five-star hotel.

Colt picked her up and carried her inside and set her on the bed. "Why don't you order us some more champagne from room service and I'll go change into something more...fuckable." Colt loved when she talked that way.

"Deal," he said. Riley saw him pick up the phone and punch "0" before she went into the bathroom. She slipped off her dress and into a lacy white bra, white garter belt with white stockings, while leaving her 4" white heels on. She also left the string of pearls around her neck along with the matching pearl earrings. She slipped into the pretty little white shrug and took a look at herself in the mirror. She heard Colt thanking room service and waited for the door to close before stepping out. 

Once it was quiet, she left the bathroom and said, "Close your eyes, okay?"

"Okay," Colt told her. "Come on in."

It was only 4-5 steps from the bathroom into the bedroom area. When she arrived, she saw Colt sitting on the bed with his eyes closed. "Okay, open them!" she said.

Colt sat and stared at her but didn't speak. "Cat got your tongue?" she said. "You like?" she asked. Riley smiled at him and did a quick spin to show off her cute little ass. As she did, she was so startled she shrieked.

"Oh, my God! Who is that?" Riley looked at Colt then back at the stranger in the room who was in the corner just sitting there. She threw her arms over her bare breasts but her shaved pussy was still clearly visible.

"Riley, honey? This is Caden Daniels. He's your date." Caden was a freshman at NC State and the son of a friend of a friend of a friend. Colt met him at a function for the regional dealerships and thought he'd be perfect for his new wife. He was 19 with thick, black hair and according to several of the girls at the party a real 'cutie.' He was slender but not emaciated and he had a great smile and a calm, easy-going demeanor. When Colt first mentioned this to him, he thought it was a put-on of some kind. Maybe his frat brothers setting him up. But after Colt showed him several pictures of his wife and explaining to him that this was a kind of um...wedding present...he agreed. Caden had had two girlfriends and had only recently lost his virginity. He was pretty sure Riley would like what she saw. 

Riley stood there unable to speak. "Honey? Are you going to say hello to your boyfriend or not? It would be very rude to just stand there and ignore him. It wasn't easy finding something this cute to agree to come here and be your special wedding gift. So can you at least say hello?"

Riley looked over at Colt. Her eyes were wide open. "You did not!" she said quietly.

"I most certainly did. And you're welcome, by the way."

"Oh, my...God. Colt? Are you sure about this? On our wedding night?"

He stood up and said, "I've never been more sure of anything except that I love you. Now come here and say hello to Caden."

Riley looked at Caden then back at Colt then back at Caden. She took his hand as he led her over to the small bench in the corner of the bedroom. "Caden? This is my brand new wife, Riley Bradley. Riley? This is your handsome young date for the evening Caden Daniels."

"Good evening, Mrs. Bradley," he said as he stood up. "You're even more beautiful than in your photos."

"Colt? This is crazy! You can't mean this. Is this for real?" she said with genuine disbelief. She was looking at him for any sign of this being a joke of some kind. And yet she knew this was a joke he'd never play on her. 

"It's very for real, honey. I'm giving you this tonight to show you I'm serious and sincere. This is something you need and want and I want you to have it. So, please. Sit down and get acquainted with your cute boyfriend."

"If you're sure. Colt? Are you really sure?" 

He took her hands and said, "Trust me. I'm sure. Now go have fun and try and pretend I'm not here. Okay? Relax and have fun because I know I will."

"Oh, Colt. I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you so very much." 

She turned to Caden and said, "I'm so sorry, Caden. This was just such a surprise. Please forgive me for not saying hello earlier. It's very nice to meet you."

Colt turned on some romantic music and nodded at Caden. "Mrs. Bradley, would you like to dance?" he asked as he extended her hand. She turned and looked at her new husband who also nodded at her.

"Okay, yes. That would be very nice."

"I told your husband I'm not very good at small talk so I guess maybe that will be okay?"

"I don't think he brought you here to talk, sweetheart, so don't worry about that."

Colt nodded again and Caden said to Riley, "Would you mind if I kissed you?"

"I'd like that very much, Caden," she said as she closed her eyes and opened her mouth for his kiss.

A brief first kiss was followed by a longer second and then a very long, very deep third. Colt saw their tongues playing with each other's. Moments later, Riley's hand has reaching for Caden's crotch. "Mmmm. That's what I really want from you, sweetheart."

She helped him undress until his slight frame was naked in front of her. "Can you sit on the bed for me, please?" she asked. 

As he sat, she knelt. "Mmmm. You have a beautiful cock, sweetheart. I love it," she said as she took in deep in her mouth. "Mmmm. Does that feel good?" she asked.

Caden couldn't speak. He just nodded as he lifted his head up and back. Riley was cradling his balls and sucking his cock. She concentrated on the tip as she enveloped it with her soft lips while rolling her tongue all around it. Colt came over and knelt behind her. "I just want to be able to see your wedding ring up close while you're holding his cock with it. It turns me on like nothing else." He was kissing her neck when he said, "I also need to feel your little sweater while you're giving him a blow job. It's so pretty on you. And you look so pretty sucking his cock, honey."

"I love it," she said as the head of his dick popped out of his mouth. "Are you excited, honey? Do you like watching your wife with another man?" she asked as she lowered her head on Caden's cock again.

"I like it very much," he told her. "And yes, I'm very excited. I can't wait to see you take it in your pussy. I want to see your wedding ring on your hand as you hold him tight while he's fucking you." Colt reached around and squeezed her bare breasts then from behind reached under her and ran his fingers along her pussy. Riley moaned softly.

"I think she's ready for you, buddy," he told his young charge.

Riley stood up then lay on the bed as Caden turned around and prepared to mount her. "Come here, honey!" Riley said to Colt. "Kiss me when he first slides in, okay?" she begged him.

"Definitely," he said. He sat next to her on the bed as Caden put on a condom. "Go ahead," he told him.

He lay on top of Riley who reached down to grab his throbbing cock to line it up. "I love you so much, Colt," she said. "Are you ready to watch me get fucked by another man?"