20 comments/ 480345 views/ 44 favorites Panic By: Mikelh Someone said that to live a good life, the most important thing was to 'Know yourself.' Even though I wasn't twenty yet, I knew myself enough to know that I wanted and needed her. I found her curled up in the den, listening to a blues singer telling a thousand year old story, told thousands of times before. I approached her and stroked her hair. She looked up at me in anticipation of my desire. She stood and came into my arms. We kissed, and then I held her until she exhaled a long relaxed sigh. She said, "I'm safe when you hold me like this Danny...we're together, and I'm not afraid." For most people, saying that they felt safe in another person's arms might just be a nice thing to say, but for my mother it would have been unimaginable for her to utter those words only six months earlier. Six months that took two minutes and a life-altering eternity to pass. Up until then, we'd spoke and touched and acted as most mothers and sons did, except when the panic came, and struck the terror into her. There was never any warning, a thought perhaps, a sound, a flicker of light, and then the sweats, the shaking, the fear, and the tears. On an ordinary day, a simple question was a spark that lit my old life on fire and turned it to ash. I'd said, "Mom, you look strange, are you okay?" "Oh sure, honey. It's...you know...'That time.' I just have some cramps and I'm sore and...jeez Danny, why am I going on, you don't have to hear about all this." "Mom, it's not such a big deal to talk about your period, is it?" "I guess not," she laughed. "I guess I'm still stuck in the Middle Ages about that kind of stuff. I'll tell you though, when I get like this, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. It just seems to be getting worse; my breasts are so sore, I just feel like a wreck." That's when I said something you could say to almost anyone, but not my mother. "Why don't you let me take you to a doctor; he could give you something and..." That's when I knew I'd made a mistake. The symptoms came quickly; just the thought of leaving the house and sitting in a doctor's office set her off. Her medication wasn't helping much. She'd been going out less and less over the years and I couldn't remember the last time she went out of the house. I could see the sweat on her face, I could hear the heavy breathing, and I could feel the darkness that enveloped her. I put her in my arms and said, "It's all right; you don't have to do anything you don't want to." My hand made slow wide circles on her back and she calmed a bit. I told her to rest on the couch and she went onto her stomach. I continued the stroking. Her sweater had come up, exposing the small of her back. I put my hand on it and continued the petting up under the sweater to her shoulder blades. In ten minutes she was quiet and breathing easily; I couldn't tell if she was asleep. To this day I don't know what possessed me to do what I did. Sure, I'd always liked looking at my mom's body, because her curves were in those places your hands just wanted to go to, but I never expected to act on it. I know that if I'd thought about it I wouldn't have done it, but I just acted. My two practiced fingers just unsnapped her bra. She didn't move or say anything and I continued stroking her smooth skin. In the minutes that passed, my heart drummed a beat to accompany my racing thoughts. As if it was the most commonplace thing for a son to do, I ran my hand over my mother's ass and down her legs to her calves. I was in the throes of desire, and reason had taken a distant second place. Her breathing was deep, but even. I massaged her that way for a while, unmistakably caressing the fleshy curve on my hand's journey, up and down the length of her body. I urged her over and she turned with a sigh. She wasn't asleep. I repeated the soothing strokes beginning at her legs and over her thighs. I crossed her belly and when I got to her waist, I slipped my hand under the thin sweater. Her eyes stayed closed. I stroked and fondled her swollen breasts for a long time. Her body was young enough for them to still have a girlish spring to them. They felt full and the nipples became erect when my palms passed over them. By then, my heart was pounding so hard you could have heard it in the next room. I drew my mother's nipples through my fingers, savoring the stiff resistance. When I ran my fingertips over her skin, it was warm and velvety. She hardly moved, but I could tell how sensitive they were by the sounds emanating from her throat. I wanted to look at her breasts and I wanted to watch as I fondled them. At that point, my erection was directing me. With my wrists, I forced the sweater to slide up and bare the full globes. They looked big on her slim body, and they looked beautiful in my hands. A few fine bluish veins made them look even more sensuous. I bent over and took one of her nipples into my mouth. I drew on it and kept it warm with my tongue. Before I got to second one, she was whimpering and her hand was in my hair. As I suckled on the elongated tips of my mother's breasts she said, "I wanted to do it for you baby, they wouldn't let me...they wouldn't let me." I had no idea what she was talking about, or whom 'they' were. Her sounds got higher pitched as I drew more of her tit into my mouth. It only added to the surrealism of the moment when all at once she took a breath, raised her hips, and put her hand between her legs. The pants she wore were thin enough to allow her fingers to stimulate her pussy and she began coming almost immediately. The "Oh...Oh...Oh..." that she kept repeating were more whimpers than words. I kissed her, and my mother kissed me back. When she opened her eyes, her face was crimson. She sat up and said, "Oh my God, what's wrong with me? I'm sorry Danny, I shouldn't have let you...nobody's touched me like that for so long...Danny forgive me...I'm so ashamed." I put my arms around her and said, "You have nothing to be ashamed of, if it's anybody's fault, it's mine. You felt so good to me, and when the panic passed and you calmed down, I...mom, all that happened was that it made you better, and that's nobody's fault...that's the best thing that could happen." The few tears stopped and she stayed on my neck without looking at me. "Thank you baby; you're so sweet...I'm glad you're here." That was the door that opened to allow similar holdings and touchings over the coming weeks. That was what developed into 'Medicine' for mom, and the source of my greatest pleasure up to that point. We had our 'code words' about her feeling scared, or not feeling well, and we would go into her bedroom to make it better, for both of us. Comforting her brought comfort to me. Not that I wouldn't have welcomed it, but it was okay that she was reluctant to let me touch her between her legs, and reluctant to touch me when I gave her thinly veiled opportunities. I think at that point, we both probably knew that the sexual stimulation that we were both experiencing would inevitably progress. What also progressed was the level of intimacy we shared. Mom told me about her experience of a sheltered childhood. I knew that her mother had died when she was very young, but I had never heard the details. They were horrific. That didn't prevent her father from repeating them to her time and time again in what mom called, 'His loud warning voice.' "You know honey," she said, "It seemed like he told me the story every day." We sat on the couch, I held her hand, and she told me what had happened. She said, "I was only two and my mother was out shopping. It was winter, and it got dark early. In the corner of the parking lot, two men waited. Maybe my mother resisted and maybe she didn't, all we know is that they beat her with a hammer, for a hundred dollars and some credit cards. My father said he couldn't recognize her face when he had to identify her. That hammer forged the rest of my life." "I'm sorry mom," I said. I stroked her hair and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She gave me a weak smile before continuing. "My father hardly ever let me leave the house and he never stopped telling me how dangerous it was 'Out there.' I know that he loved me and he wanted to protect me, and unfortunately, he had enough money for home schooling and for Lucia, who was always with me, so I ended up in the house most of the time. I was so lonely baby, I think I cried every night." I stroked her hair and face and said, "I'm sorry mom." The sadness colored her words. "You didn't really know your grandfather, he meant well, but there wasn't much anyone could tell him, and he had enough money to always get his way. He had enough money for a lot of things. I didn't realize that this house is what most people would call a mansion, until I was older. I guess I thought every home had huge fireplaces, pools, gyms, and media rooms. And I guess I thought people had enough money, because after he died, the check from the lawyers came every month." Hearing her open up led me to ask about the topic I could hardly get her to say a word about. "Mom, what about my father, all you ever say is that his name was Paul, he was a nice man and he died after you got married. But I haven't believed that for a long time, that's not what happened is it?" It had always upset her whenever she had started to tell me anything about him. "No baby, that wasn't what happened...oh God, all right, I'll just tell you and get it over with." She hesitated and then said, "We were never married...I got pregnant right in this house. That was what sent my father over the edge I guess, because after all he did to protect me, it still happened. I didn't meet many boys and all my ideas came from books and TV, and I guess it was like one of those bad TV shows...he was a carpenter, a handyman...Paul who was nice to me...and I liked him." Her mood shifted and she said as if it were only a matter of fact, "I was very young and when I realized I was pregnant, I had to tell Lucia...and she told my father. They sent him away...he never even knew..." Then she smiled at me. "I had you right here in this house...and when you were three, daddy died, and then it was just you, me, and Lucia, until six years ago when she had to go back to her family in Italy...she loved you a lot...you can still hear it in her letters, can't you honey?" "Sure mom, I still miss her." "I should have told you all this before sweetie, but I was ashamed...it was all such a mess." "Mom, you never have to be ashamed of anything you do, you're a terrific loving person." She put her arms around my neck and said, "Thank you baby...can we talk more later? Just hold me for a little while. " I held her and she settled into my arms. When I began touching her, she sighed and leaned back into the couch pillows. When I kissed down her belly she didn't stop me from kissing her on her mound. I lifted her skirt. I wasn't sure how much of the wetness on her panties was from my mouth above or her pussy below, but I waited until she was writhing before attempting to take them off. When she lifted her hips to help me, the sheer lavender nylon quickly rolled into a small ball before I tossed it on the floor. The fragrance of her humid opening drew me. The rustle of her bush crinkled in my ears as my tongue found the tender pink slit and worked its way in. I delighted in my first taste of her juice and she almost twisted away from me in reaction to the contact I made with her clit. I brought her back with my hands on her hips and licked the slippery nub until it was shiny with my saliva and her own moisture. I did have some experience, but I learned quickly by her reactions how sensitive and primed for pleasure her swelling clit was. I took her breasts firmly in both hands and sucked the whole area between her legs into my mouth. I used my tongue to circle and then massage the erected flesh. I was taking great pleasure in pleasuring her. Before I could decide what to do next, my mother started coming. It was all so amazing to me, I was eating my mother's pussy and she was making the most beautiful noises of satisfaction I had ever heard. She kept gyrating as she came and I tried to keep my mouth on her clit so I could lick it until she finished. I was hard enough to make me think that I would break through the zipper. She opened her eyes and said, "God, my whole body still feels like electricity is going through it...I..." She had recovered enough to notice my erection bulging in my pants and she said, "Oh sweetie, you're all...I...do you want me to...do something?" I took her hand and said, "Yes mom, come with me." I led her to the bedroom and she sat on the bed with her back against the headboard. I unfastened my pants and I stood on the bed and brought the stiff rod near her lips. She looked up and me and said, "Do you want me to...?" There wasn't much ambiguity about what I wanted, but I was patient. I held her face and said, "Yes mom, I want you to take me in your mouth." I was awed at how she sat there looking up at me, waiting, as her son stood before her, getting harder while she watched. She closed her eyes. I was so hard for her, my cock almost pointed to the ceiling. I pushed it down to the level of her lips. She was waiting. She didn't come for my cock, so I brought the thickened flesh to her lips. It looked too big for the delicate mouth that typified her fine features. When the swollen head made contact with her lips, she opened her mouth and I entered, touching the inside of her mouth. She closed her lips around the wide mass. I pushed some of my length in and out and I said softly, "Suck me mom, suck me." She began sucking. What my mother lacked in experience, she made up in enthusiasm. She was kissing and sucking at the same time and she stayed mainly on and around the engorged head. She tentatively placed her hand around the shaft and I put my hand over hers and moved it up and down along the shaft. It didn't take long before she was into it. Experience is good, but how bad can inexperience be when it's your mother sucking on your cock? I made noises and gave her words of encouragement and directed her to use her tongue and lips and mouth until I thought it couldn't feel any better. And then I wanted to fuck her. I pulled my cock from her mouth and pulled her down to a position where she could take me inside her. Her noises were little cries. I opened her legs and brought my cock to the entrance of her pussy. I was so busy getting set to take her that I hadn't even looked up. When I did I wasn't happy. My cock had just spread her pussy lips when I saw the look on her face. Her eyes were wide and the sweat on her face wasn't perspiration. She was breathing hard and making the noises that always meant one thing, panic. I pulled out, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I said, "What is it mom, did I hurt you?" She shook her head no, but she was having trouble catching her breath. She finally managed to say, "I'm sorry baby, I don't know, I got scared and everything flashed; you're my son, and what if I get pregnant and how could I let you be in me like that, oh God, what kind of mother am I?" "You're a loving mother." I said as I held her shaking frame. "And I wouldn't have come inside you, but it's okay mom, I don't want you to do anything you don't want to." When she calmed, she said, "Oh honey I'm sorry..." We kissed for a while and I could feel her sexual excitement building. She said, "I still want to make you feel good...let me..." She leaned over and put some the semi-erect flesh that lay on my leg into her mouth. It didn't stay semi-erect for long. Long is what it got and she took the bulging meat as far as she could. There was too much for her and she gagged for a second. When she recovered, she settled into licking and sucking the head and the top of my shaft. I took her hand and placed it on my balls. She cupped and massaged them instinctively as her mouth worked toward the release I could feel building. My mother looked up at me for a moment with her eyes wide to see what effect her sucking was having on me, it didn't take long for her to realize that having my cock in her mouth was driving me crazy. She closed her eyes and started bobbing harder and faster. She was making wet noises as my thick flesh slid over and around her tongue, and I could feel my whole body stiffen in anticipation of releasing the big buildup of cum she had created with her sucking I thought of pulling out before letting go, but the thought that kept going through my head was too intoxicating. The words, 'I'm going to come in my mother's mouth...' kept playing over and over in my head until I couldn't hold it any longer. The only warning I could give her was the first two words of "Mom, I'm...coming." Well, some of it went into her mouth. She was stunned by the force and volume. She pulled back and it fired onto her, and everything around. I still needed to finish and I took her hand from my balls and placed it on the shaft and we stroked and each volley fired off. When the final spasms of cum released, she kept rubbing, a bit harder than necessary, and I held her hand still after exhaling. "I'm sorry baby, I didn't know how..." When I caught my breath I said, "Mom, it's fine...it's more than fine; it felt terrific. Thank you for making me feel so good." I kissed her and she stayed in my arms. Some of my cum was in her hair, some of it was on her breasts, and the rest, well, I guess inexperience can be messy sometimes. We did a lot of touching and had oral sex a few times during the next few weeks before I chanced any escalation. I wanted her to get out of the house for a change, so I said, "Mom, will you take a ride with me, you've never even been in the new car." She said, "Honey I don't know, it's almost dark, and I was just about to make dinner." I came up to her and kissed her neck, "Come on mom, just a short ride, do it for me." I kissed her and she took a deep breath and said, "You know honey, I'm more worried about having a panic attack out there than I am of going." "Mom, I'll be with you, whatever happens, I'll be with you." She gave me a kiss and said, "Okay baby, but only for a little bit." I couldn't remember the last time she went out. When we got in the car, I could see the agitation beginning to surface. I put my arm out and said, "Come here." She came close and with my arm around her I started driving. I took the street that led to the lake and said, "Look at those trees mom, how long has it been you've seen them?" "A long time baby, they are beautiful." I idly let my hand fall on her breast and stroked it between my thumb and fingers. She looked at me and smiled and I felt her nipple stiffen through the sheer bra that she wore. There was no longer any shame when we touched and she put her hand over mine as I gently stroked her breast. When we got to lake, the sun had just set and we parked in a small clearing. The colors of that golden hour mirrored off the lake and she said, "It's so beautiful, it's amazing." We looked at the lake for a long while in silence, and when the colors faded, we began kissing. Our tongues played and I reached under her bra to free her breasts. Their fullness filled my hand and the swelling in my pants became evident. The kissing was warm and sweet and satisfying. She stopped and held me and said, "Tell me that you love me." I realized that I felt it, but hardly ever told her. I also realized that it wasn't just sex that was driving me, I'd always wanted to be with someone that would share the kind of love that was total, and a passion that would transcend all barriers. And now I knew that I wanted it to be her. I said in her ear, "I love you very much, I love you, I love you, I love you." Panic She put her hand over my crotch and said, "I love you so much baby, thank you for making me come here." We kissed some more and she took me out of my pants. She went down on me and the surprise was no less than the pleasure. She was taking me down her throat. Her mouth was stroking almost two thirds of my cock. She didn't gag as she had before and she was easy and sure in her sucking. "Oh mom, that feels so good; I can't believe how much of me you're taking." She stopped and looked up at me with a smile, "I've been practicing," she said. "What are you talking about mom?" Thoughts of her with another man flashed through my head, but the reasoning part of my brain told me that she hadn't been in contact with anyone but me. She sort of laughed and her cheeks pinked. "Remember I asked you to bring home bananas the last time you shopped? Well..." "I laughed, "You've been practicing on bananas?" She sounded so embarrassed, but she told me anyway. She said, "Well honey, you've been making me feel so good and I wanted...to please you. So I practiced, and a few days ago I got the 'trick.' When I stopped being afraid, I relaxed and saw that I could get it more and more of it down. I was so anxious to try it; it works doesn't it baby?" "Boy does it work, you're terrific mom. Nobody's ever done that to me. I can't believe you can do that." "Let me prove it to you love." She took my cock into her mouth and confidently sucked the mass into a thick stiff rod. More and more of me went down her throat and the effect got me breathing hard and anticipating the moment of release. She went back to the head, and while sucking, I could see her tongue come out of her mouth to stroke the underside of my cock. It was almost too much to watch. She worked me down her throat again and I knew I wouldn't last much longer. The words came pouring out, "Mom you're doing it so good, yes like that, like that, that's it, your going make me come mom, yes, yes, make me come in your mouth, make me come..." The first stream of cum fired off and I was still in her mouth. She swallowed and I kept giving her more and more as she stayed on me, taking my cock, taking my cum, until I was exhausted from the intensity of the orgasm. "Oh mom, " I said, "that was unbelievable...you made me feel...I can't even describe it. All I know is that you're one hell of a fast learner." She laughed and came up to put her arms around me and lay her head on my shoulder. "I'm glad I could that for you baby," "Mom, I love you for everything you do." There was a calm quiet on the ride back and both of us were still smiling when we got home. We kissed, we talked, and we loved, and we even began taking a short walk together each day. Her palms still sweated a bit and she tightly gripped my hand, but she smiled a lot. As the weeks passed, the closeness gave her confidence until she was the one suggesting our outings. During those times, we talked a lot about our relationship and the difficulties we could have. The list was intimidating. We spent much of the time in bed, watching movies, ordering in, and pleasuring each other orally, but mom was still reluctant to have sex with me inside her. When I asked her why, she said, "I'm just not ready for that step honey. And it's not only the...incest part of it. It just feels like a step we could never come back from, and I'm not sure if it's the best thing for either of us...and I don't want my baby to be stuck with a woman that's...wacky...who can't go out for more than hour without panicking." "You're not wacky," I told her, "and you're better, aren't you mom? Don't you feel better since we're loving each other this way?" Her soft smile said 'Yes,' as she nodded her head. What I told her was, "I only know that for me mom, it's what I want...to love you in every way I can...I can't think of anything else that we make me happier." It all seemed to be going so well; that should have warned me right there, but it didn't; I was riding the clouds. So the day I came back from running some errands and found her crying on the floor and curled into a ball was a bit disheartening. I put my package down on the table and I held her and soothed her until she was able to tell me what had set her off. It took hours. Finally she was able to say, "You're so caring baby, to stay with me like this, and that's why I love you, but you can see for yourself see Danny, I told you I'm wacky...it's the same old thing." "Mom, it's okay, just tell me what happened." She said, "I just started thinking that maybe you'd get tired if me...not that I would blame you...I know I can't give you everything you need...then I thought that one day, you just wouldn't be here, and thinking about not seeing you and not being with you got my heart pounding...and then I couldn't breathe and was sweating and I got so dizzy..." "Mom, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere and you're wrong, you can give me everything I need. It's everything we both need, just to love each other. Come mom, come with me." She got up and we went into the bedroom we'd been sharing. I sat her down on the bed and said, "I'll be right back." I went and got one of the packages I had brought back. I handed her the gift bag and she warmed. "Oh sweetie you're such a love. I should be taking care of you and here you are..." She took out the package of different scented oils and said, "Oooh, they look so interesting; I know what these other flavors are, but what's yuzu?" "It's a Japanese fruit that smells like grapefruits and mandarin oranges," I said. "Here, let me put some on you." I took some of the oil into my hand and rubbed it on her arms and legs. She took a deep breath and said, "Oh I love it; it smells delicious." I kissed her belly and said, "You smell good enough to eat mom." She laughed a shy laugh and I took her top off and said, "Lie back mom." I put the oil on her neck and shoulders and slipped my hands under her bra straps and drew the cups down, exposing her breasts. I massaged the fragrant fluid over and under the warm flesh and across her nipples. I sucked on one of them and said, "Mmm, you are good enough to eat." She must have been uncomfortable lying on the crumpled bra and she turned sideways and I took it off completely, and while I was at, took off her skirt and panties. I was surprised to see that her pussy had been shaved leaving only a small patch above. My mother bush was untrimmed before and I sort of liked her hairy pussy, but this made her wet lips show, and they look sexy as hell. "Wow, when did that happen...mom, you are just so hot." She smiled and said, "I did it this morning to surprise you. I wasn't sure if you would like it, but I wanted to be different for you, special." I kissed her deeply and said, "I more than like it mom, and all of you is special to me." She turned over and said, "Now put some of that stuff on my back because it's making me tingle and I want it all over me. I massaged her back a while and when I got to the curves of her rounded ass, the shiny oil made it look more appealing than I'd ever noticed. I kneaded the fleshy globes and her sounds told me that she was enjoying my attentions there. I was hard by the time she turned back over. I warmed some more oil in my hands and took it to her inner thighs and belly and I could see her excitement. I covered her soft bare pussy with my hand and rubbed gently. That was when our little game of "What if?" was born. She had her eyes closed and said, "Do you think it's right that a mother lets her son...do things." I said, "You know mom, I'm sure it wouldn't be right for most mothers and sons, it would probably cause endless problems. But for some mothers and sons..." I stroked her thighs up to her pussy. "It's more than right, because it's more than sex, it's what brings joy to their lives." My hand closed on her pussy and my fingers found her clit. "Mmm, "she said. "What if that mother wanted her son to take her pussy in his mouth, would that be right?" I went to her pussy and was lost in the fragrance, lost in the sweet taste, and lost in touch of her tender folds. She brought me back when she said, "Yes, that is so right baby." I languished on her slippery clit until she said, "And what if that mother wanted to feel her son's hands all over her?" My hands ran down her legs and along her slippery flank and then rested on the slick flesh of my mother's tits. I massaged them deeply and she made approving noises and said, "Yes baby, that would be right." Then she surprised me. She pulled out from under me and turned onto her elbows and knees. "What if that mother wanted her son to put his fingers into her?" I slid my finger into her pussy and she said, "No, someplace else." I probably opened my eyes in surprise because I hadn't touched her there before, but my oiled finger went easily into her ass and she said, "Yes, there love, there." I pushed my finger in and out of her pretty pucker and she sighed contentedly. Then she said, "What if that mother wanted to give herself to her son in a place only for him, a place where no man had been, would that be right baby, would that show him how she loved him?" I was excited beyond words. I was looking at my mother's perfect ass, and sometimes, it's enough to look. But I had touched and fingered my mother's perfect ass, and that in itself was incredible. And now I was about to be inside that perfect ass and my cock was practically bouncing with anticipation. My mother's body was shining before me and she wanted me in that tight passageway. I put more oil on the steel pipe that used to be my cock and approached her small hole. Looking at the disparity in size between them, I was somewhat reluctant because I didn't want to hurt her and I said, "Are you sure mom, you're so small there." "Yes honey, I want you to do it, I want to feel you in my ass." I pushed the slippery head through her ring and she let out a long "Ooooh," and then she said, "Yes baby, that's it, it's okay, put it in me." I fought the resistance of her tight channel and pressed half of my shaft up into it. There was almost as much resistance pulling it back out to get ready for the next insertion. It felt like I could split her ass open, but I drove the shaft deeper into my mother's ass anyway, stuck between the urge to push harder and harder into the sweet hole that was massaging my cock, and the fear of fucking her too hard. She became loud; "YES, YES, you're filling me baby...my baby is filling me...so hard, yes, don't stop love." I was having beautiful anal sex with my mother and only the sight of her ass filled with my cock could make me believe it was really happening. I kneaded the rounded flesh as I took both cheeks in my hands, squeezing them against my shaft and then spreading them open. The pressure and heat were searing as I stroked my shaft in and out of my mother's ass; the feeling was unique. My cock felt like a solid pipe as I continuously opened her forbidden place, but the slippery oil allowed me to get deeper than I expected. The more I gave her, the more she took. My cock was being milked, and despite the size of the mass of flesh that was in her ass, my mother seemed to be enjoying it. She took each length of cock into her with a sweet sounding moan and I savored the feeling that was stimulating every inch of my shaft as it entered and stretched my mother's narrow channel. I know that for most, even the image of a mother and her son in the position that we were in, would be unimaginable, but for me, being in my mother's ass at that moment, created the most intense feeling of love I had ever experienced up to that point in my young life. Each insertion was a surprise, it looked impossible that I could get my whole cock into her small hole, but it went in, again and again, deep enough for me to end up against the rounded globes of her ass. She said in a high pitched shout, "Yes baby, I feel you so big in me...I feel you stretching me open, fucking me...loving me..." And she was right, because even though it was sexy as hell, watching my mother take me into her tight channel, it still felt like a loving act. The two things were true at once, I was fucking my mother in her ass and making love to her, because with each stroke she took, she was saying 'I love you,' and with each stroke I gave her, I was saying it back. She began rubbing her pussy as each penetrating entry made her moan as long as it took my cock to fully penetrate her. My mother's ass was filled with my cock and she kept saying, "Yes baby, yes, yes, yes..." I was increasing the pace almost involuntarily as her grip squeezed my cock the way a hand closed tightly around it would. The friction had dissipated some of the lubricating oil and it was getting harder to drive deep into the tight passageway, but I knew that my cum would soon grease it...sooner than I thought, because the newness of the experience was just too exciting for me to hold back. I didn't warn her, but the speed of my insertions could only mean one thing, and the first shot of cum released deep into the narrow channel, and she said, "Yes love, that's right, that's right, that's right, yeessss..." After the initial explosion of milky juice into her, my cock slipped quickly in and out of her ass in a driving frenzy. She came back at me as hard and fast as I could ride my shaft into her. We both came for what seemed an eternity and with exhausting relief as I filled my mother's ass with my cum. She cried out, "OH LOVE...OH love...oh love...as I drove my still hard cock into the depths of her ass. When we were done, I cradled her in my arms and felt the little ripples of her fading orgasm going through her body. No son was ever prouder of his mother than I was at that moment. As much as the physical, she had shown me her secret heart and a rich example of the kind of love that we dream of. There was a magical moment of contentment before we both gave in to the pull of sleep for a while. When we awoke, we talked more about the possibilities of building a life together. She said, "Danny honey, you know how much I love you, but you have to think about a normal relationship...with a normal woman...and God knows that's not your mother." "Normal is overrated mom," I said. "I want a woman who loves me like you do. And I think it is normal to want someone I can love and make love to, and have what we have. I'm glad it's you mom, because I can't imagine anything better." "Oh sweetheart, you know how good it feels to me too, and I know how hard it is to find someone who really cares about you...and we've found each other...but we have to be realistic, don't we? In ten years, I'll be..." I stopped her by saying, "Mom, don't even say anything about our ages. First of all, we're not even that far apart, and secondly, I'm not about to give up the best thing in my life...so let's start to worry about those things in about ten or twenty years, okay? For now, let's just love each other." "Okay love, believe me, I don't want to give this up either, it's just..." I covered her mouth with my hand and said, "It's just nothing...stop talking and kiss me." We kissed and the feeling of her tits against me, and her skin under my hands, got me going again. I said, "Wait a minute, I'll be right back." I went to my bathroom where I had stored some condoms. When I came back, I had one in my hand and I showed it to her. She didn't say anything as I sat by her, kissing her. Her tits looked big on her small frame and I caressed and suckled on them as she became stimulated. My mother's body looked so much more beautiful naked than under clothes. I kissed and stroked her skin from her forehead to her toes. I could see the wetness forming on her pussy and I licked it over her clit after my tongue teased it from beneath its sheltering folds. I opened her by her ankles and she allowed it with a sigh. It was a beautiful sight - the king size bed, the cool blue sheets, and my mother's creamy opened legs on them. I rolled the condom over the shaft that had hardened to a stiff mass. I brought my cock to my mother's pussy and I entered her. I wanted to feel more of the warm wetness surrounding me and holding me, but it felt good to be inside her. My cock stretched her open. It was a tight fit, but she was wet enough for me to work the shaft into her. She looked so petite under me, but she seemed ready and willing to receive the full length and width of my stiff rod. I saw my mother look at the place where my cock was entering her and she was smiling. "It's so big and beautiful love," she said as she watched. "I have such a handsome son, and you're my love, aren't you baby?" I said, "Yes mom," as I stroked four or five times until I was able to completely fill her. I was glad she was lubricated enough because it spoke of her desire and it enabled me to penetrate fully up into her belly. She began breathing harder at that moment and I wasn't sure if it was from the sex or her anxiety that I was in her pussy. I slowed and she calmed as I kissed her face and told her I loved her. I moved in her and she moved back. She twisted and writhed and called my name over and over as we both climbed. I thought of what it might feel like to have my bare cock in her pussy since it felt so good even wearing a condom. I was in the warm grip of my mother's pussy and it was holding me tightly, massaging my cock as I moved in and out of her center. She looked at me and said, "It feels so good darling, so deep in my pussy...so big inside me...oh Danny, we're for each other, aren't we baby?" By the way I fit into her pussy, it did seem that we were made that way. I said, "Yes mom, we were made to love each other." I assured her with kissing and stroking. "Baby? No matter what I said before, I don't want you to be with anybody else, I want you to be only for me, only inside me." She reached down to touch my shaft again as it slid in and out of her tight pussy. "Only for me love...only for me?" She was humping up harder as she spoke "Yes mom, only for you; I don't need anybody else because you love me better than anybody could." "Promise me love, promise me." She moved agitatedly, starting to thrash and twist under me. I gave her my full length harder and harder and said, "I promise mom, nobody else, only you, only your pussy." I turned her over and she was surprised and pleased to find herself on top of me. I smiled at her and said; "Now it's your turn to be in charge." As she began to raise and lower herself on my pole, I could see the effect that being in control had on her. She was enjoying it. She hadn't felt too much of that in her life, that's probably why it turned into one of her favorite positions later on. She would make me come so fast sometimes I didn't have time to think and other times she would draw it out until I could hardly stand it. But that first time was a novelty for her. She threw her head back with a big smile and rode me with pleasure. Each time she rose, she squeezed and massaged my cock. I could hear the juice in her pussy each time she came down and took my meat up into her. My cock impaled her, but she always tried to take all of it. When she sat and ground her hips, I got to massage her hanging tits as she leaned over me. They felt full and heavy. I massaged them until I only had her two nipples between my fingers. I said, "We're always going to love each other like this, do you know that mom?" "Yes love," she said and she moved her fingers to her clit and then quickly rubbed. A long sounding "Oooohhhh..." came out of her mouth as she lifted herself and began to come. " As she came, I let go. The releases filled the condom as I felt the strong desire to be coming in her pussy. I wanted to feel my flesh on her flesh; I wanted her to feel my bare cock rubbing along the tender channel that gripped it. I wanted to be filling my mother with me. I wondered if we would ever break that ultimate taboo. Panic With time and love, the attacks she suffered became more infrequent and less intense. She was even able to go to a crowded movie theater on a Saturday night. On the way to the movie with her body nestled under my arm, I asked, "Mom, did you ever think about me like this before that first day?" "Well sweetie, it was much more 'dreamed about it' than anything else. At first I just thought I was having those dreams about you because I saw so few men. And then when I'd get excited it seemed like you were always around, and looking at my body...not like a son usually looks at his mother. Then I just thought it was one more of my crazy ways and my imagination." I laughed, "It was more than your imagination mom; I always liked looking at your body. But what were the dreams like mom?" She slapped my arm playfully, "I'm not telling you...it's too embarrassing, and anyway, the things we do together are even better than what happened in my dreams." We pulled into the parking lot and I said, "Okay, just tell me if I kissed you like this." The kiss was long and deep and she said, "Yes baby, and I kissed you back, just like that." After the movie began and we'd been settled in our seats for about half an hour, I put my hand under the sweater that was on her lap and rested it on her pussy. She looked at me like I was crazy and said in an urgent whisper, "Honey, what are you doing, there are people all around." I whispered back, "It's therapy...just to keep you calm." She laughed and said, "You nut, I was calm before you started doing that." She put her hand over the sweater and gave me a kiss. As the movie progressed, I began rubbing gently and she closed her eyes. When we made love at home, she was pretty noisy, but in her seat, I could see her attempting to control her squirms and the moan that was trying to escape her lips. Her pants were soft, so I was able to locate the general area of her clit with my fingers. I could feel her hips stiffen and rise a bit when she made two short noises and a hiss in her throat. When she finished coming, she exhaled and looked at me with smiling eyes while shaking her head. "You drove me crazy you mean thing, I thought I was going to scream." She bit me on the ear while whispering. I said, "Oww..." and laughed. After people looked away, I whispered, "Poor baby, was it terrible for you?" This time she kissed where she had bitten and gave me a long loving kiss on the mouth that had the guy sitting next to me looking out of the corner of his eye. On the ride home she said, "I thought I'd never go to a movie again much less..." She grinned. "Do you know something Danny, I love you so much, and after that little adventure, I think you could probably take me anywhere and do anything to me." I said, "I'll keep that in mind." We both laughed and I said, "It was fun mom, but what I really want to do, is get you back in bed." She giggled, "Well stop doing thirty miles and hour and maybe we'll get home to bed before the night's over." I realized I had been paying more attention to her than the road. I remedied that and soon we pulled into the garage. When we got into the house there were two messages on the machine. One was an ad from a carpet cleaner and the other was from a man named Paul Franco who said he was in town for a few days and asked my mother to call him, saying, "I'll understand if you don't but it would be wonderful if you did?" By the surprise on my mother's face, I could tell she knew who it was. I'd only heard about one Paul and said I said, "Was that...?" Her look was puzzled and she said, "That's who it was alright...I wonder why he's calling now after all these years? Well I guess we'll find out in the morning. Are you coming to bed baby?" I was shook up and instead of going to bed and talking, I said, "All that junk I ate at the movie is getting to me; I think I'll stay up a while and watch TV." We kissed and I stayed up half the night with racing thoughts. I concocted all kinds of scenarios and I had all kinds of arguments with my mother, going off the deep end, telling her why she shouldn't see him, why she shouldn't go back with him, why she shouldn't marry him...on and on. I got up late the next morning and mom had already called; he was coming over in an hour. She asked me if I was nervous to meet him and things like that, but we didn't get the chance to talk about what I really wanted to talk about because she had to go and get ready. By the time he arrived I didn't know if I was going to hug him or hang him. Of course I did neither. I could hardly follow the conversation because so many things were going through my head, my ears and throat felt like they were stuffed with cotton. I started to sweat, I wanted to bolt, I felt like the air was taken out of the room. For the first time, I really understood what my mother had gone through. I understood it, not in my head, but in my guts. Mom introduced him and only said, "This is Dan." He said, "Oh is he..." I guess he couldn't decide between son, husband, or 'friend,' but mom didn't help him and she just asked if he would like something to drink. He became uncomfortable and said, "Janet, could I talk to you alone for a few minutes?" Mom said, "You can say anything in front of Dan." I said, "It's okay, I have some things to do." I left them to have their talk and was able to finally catch my breath. I sat and stewed with my ramblings. When I came back he was leaving and he said, "Nice to meet you Dan, and you'll call me soon, won't you Janet?" She said, "Yes." As the door closed I said, "Call you about what, mom?" "Oh, he wanted to go to dinner or something." "Are you going?" "That's not the question; the question is 'Are you going?' "What do you mean mom?" "Well he still doesn't know about you and it's your decision if you want him to know and if you want to get to know him." "You mean you're not interested...in him?" She looked at me like I was nuts, which was how I was feeling. "Of course not honey, that was the long lost past...you're my present and my future." I said, "You had me...panicked mom." She came to my arms and said, "You never have to worry about me baby, I'm here for you for always." We kissed and I said, "Let's go to bed and make up for what we missed last night." All she said was "Mmmm..." We were quiet and serious as we undressed each other, there was only a little indirect light coming from another room that played about the curves of her breasts and hips. We stood in the middle of the room and kissed and felt each other's gliding hands along the convexities and concavities of each other's body. Her skin was silk and the softness made her nipples feel that much harder. And when my hardness was in her hand, we moved to the bed. I separated her legs widely and ran my forefinger along the creamy inside of her thigh. I approached her smooth pussy but never touched it. I did the same to the other thigh and she moved gently. I bent down and licked everywhere but where she wanted me to lick. When her imploring noises became strong enough, I started on the folds and worked my way toward her release button. By the time I revealed her clit with the tip of my tongue, she was talking. "Be in me baby, I want to feel you inside me...now sweetheart, now." I reached for a condom and she said, "No, I want to feel your skin on mine, I want your cock in me, touching me." I couldn't have been harder as I looked at the opening my mother was offering me. It was pink and flushed with the excitement of the forbidden love we would now willingly share. My mother raised her legs in addition to spreading them and the invitation wasn't one this loving son could refuse. I brought myself to her opening and as the head separated her petals and entered the wet channel, she put her hands on my ass and pressed me in. I went in fully in one stroke, which was not our usual way. The full insertion made her catch her breath and I stopped momentarily until she let her breath out as she smiled and said, "Oh yes baby, yes, that's where I want you, in me, all of you inside me." It was also where I wanted to be. My bare cock was finally inside my mother's pussy and every inch of it was responding to the creamy lining of her moist channel. When I pulled out to stroke her, I could see that my cock was slick with her juices. I pushed in deep to the center of the place where I belonged and I had no doubts. She was better than any fantasy I could have concocted; I had a mother who could love her son with her heart and her pussy, unashamed. The way she was gripping me and massaging me made it a whole other experience because of our flesh on flesh. My mother held her legs splayed wide and slightly raised to accept as much of my cock as she could. I was so turned on, I was giving her the full length and width with each stroke, and she was responding with a loud moan each time I plunged to the end of her. The way it hugged my cock, I knew that my mother's pussy was made for me. I knew that she was made for me, to be mother, lover and wife. If there's such a thing as too much pleasure or too much beauty, that was when I experienced it. I moved in and out of the warm wetness slowly, to be inside her as long as I could, but the things she told me only got me hotter. "I love how you fill me baby, so big and so good and I'm open for you love, all of me." I continued the long slow strokes that took me deep into my mother's belly. She said, "I can feel you loving me when you're inside me baby...don't ever stop loving me, don't ever stop making love to me." They may not be profound sentences, but when you hear them from a woman that's in love with you, and that woman is your mother, it's pretty intoxicating. As I drove deeper into her pussy and our pace quickened, she said, "Am I enough for you baby...is your mama enough for you?" I was deep inside my mother's pussy, with our flesh massaging each other to the point of orgasm and it was so much more than enough, I could hardly get the words out. "Yes mom, yes, you're all I need." It was so good I knew I'd have to pull out or risk coming inside her if I started to release. I fought the urge to stay and began pulling out when my mother said, "No, don't be out of me, stay, don't stop." She was holding me in her and I almost panicked and stopped stroking, I said, "Mom, if I stay in you much longer, I'm going to come inside you." "Yes sweetheart, come inside me, I want you to, it doesn't matter anymore, it doesn't matter, does it Love? We're more than husband and wife now, I want your seed inside me, and if it brings me your baby, I'll be happy love...would you be happy honey?" As I began slowly stroking into her buttery pussy, the thought of having a baby with my mother sounded beautiful. If there's such a thing as touching the reality of love, that was when I touched it. I said, "Yes mom, you're the one I love and I would be happy if you had my baby...our baby." I stroked harder and went down to suckle on the nipple that one day might nourish our child. I sucked it hard enough to almost draw out the milk I now realized she had wanted to give to me those many years before. I felt so good and I was about to come and fill my mother's belly with the seed that was meant for her. As the first stream of my essence connected us, I said, "I love you mom, I love you." "Yes baby, she said, "Come in me, fill me, fill me, I love you Danny, I love you, OH, Oh, Oh, Yeessss...I'm coming with you love...OH, OH..." She thrashed and twisted under me and I stroked fully into the warmth of my mother's pussy. I went impossibly deep until everything was moans and cum and love. I repeatedly released that seed and that love deep into her belly. I couldn't believe how hard my cock stayed as I filled her. My mother had given me more than her body and with each stroke and release, I gave her more of me. When we were done, we had given each other all we had, and we held ourselves in the embrace that we knew could sustain us for whatever tomorrow would bring. Panic Attack I think I am in trouble. What is it with me? Why do I have this wicked skill for getting myself into situations that freak the hell out of me? I don't know what I am doing or how I got here. I am in way over my head. I am out of my league and out of my mind. I am wondering if I should just back up and away. I want to run. I don't know what to do here. How did I go from living it the snake eyes way to being this settled woman? How did I go from being wild and reckless and more then just a little out of control to this? What fucked up evil twisted cosmic joker thought it would be funny to toss a nice guy in my path? If I ever figure that one out I'm kicking someone's laughing ass! It's not funny! I mean it. I am having constant fits and full flown anxiety attacks. I really don't like this. I don't think I want to do this. Being in this much over my head is not acceptable! I am 38 years old and so help me God if I start doing the teenage thing of breaking dates with friends and family to just hang out with my boyfriend I hope someone will shoot me. I don't want to do over that part of my youth. I get so scared at times that I can't breathe. My heart starts pounding so hard I have to remind myself there's no history of heart disease in my family and I'm slim and always active. I probably look like an idiot walking down the street with blank eyes muttering to myself that I'm having a panic attack and NOT a heart attack. I make it all sound so funny, don't I? I'm very good at that. I have a way with words that distracts or makes light of serious things. Just smile and laugh at the winsome kitty. Don't go where I don't want you to. Don't see what I don't want you to see. Because if you see it then maybe I'll have to accept it as real. And then I'll have to deal with it. Right now I'm still trying to remember how to breathe. I think this man is serious. I think he actually means it when he tells me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. So help me God he better not ask me to marry him before I get myself under control. I'll go out the window to get away. And that would be a bad idea because I'm on the third floor. Either that or I'll slug him first and then run like hell. And there I go again trying to make this into a funny. But if I stop laughing about it and go deeper then just using it as fuel for my writing, then what? Step back girl and write about what you know. That was the best advice I ever got from my favorite English teacher. And I do know this because I am living it. But I feel like I don't know anything and I just keep wanting to step back so far that I disappear. Part of me wants to kick it into high gear and get gone! But I'm not doing that. I'm still standing here. I can't eye this relationship in a cool, clinical bystander way. That's a good thing, right? I'm being yanked out of my impersonal, walk away in a frozen Minnesota minute mind set. That should be a good thing, right? So why is it scaring the hell out of me and sending me up and down a fright house ride of emotions? I wasn't acting this crazy even when I was pregnant and hormonal enough to take on a rhino! One minute I want to cry because I am feeling scared and vulnerable about how deep he's getting to me. Five seconds later I am thinking about something sweet he said or did and hugging myself like a giddy twelve year old in puppy love. One day I happily chat with an apartment "friend" about my new boyfriend and the next I want to shove them down the stairs because they're gushing about how he seems to dote on me. I'm turning into a complete basket case here! I like having control over how I do being out of control! This is not acceptable. I can't even figure out what the hell I'm actually fighting for or against, to or from, and it's exhausting me! I'm having panic attacks over it! I'm good at running. It's the staying around that is hard. Want to lay odds on what the kitty will do? To tell you the truth I think maybe I'm going to believe him. Maybe this wildkatt has finally found her forever man. Wish me luck. And keep the fingers crossed. Panic Button Red Panic Button Red is the lipstick that I wear, the color of decadence and inflamed heat. My lips beckon a kiss of wanton lust from a desiring man. Tonight was no different than the last. I sit at the traffic light, waiting for the slow-burning red to turn to gallop-and-go green, when I noticed a pair of eyes watching me in the rear view window of the car in front of me. The neon lights from the neighboring pawnshop, reflected back, giving his eyes a demonic look. I shivered; the wicked woman in me loved it. I smiled, and offered him some lipstick from the tube, briefly before I closed the top and placed it back inside my handbag. I couldn't see if he smiled, for the light changed and we were off. I pulled beside him in the right hand turning lane. I glanced over to see a smile dancing on his face. I smiled back. His eyes focused on my lips, as I wet them lightly with my tongue. He was going straight, while I was turning right. I let my mind flirt over the endless possibilities of what would happen if I left my car where it sat, and climbed into his. This made me laugh out loud; I glanced back at him, right before turning and blew him a kiss. Then sped off. After I made my right, I knew that I couldn't go straight home. The flirtation with the stranger in the car fueled my fires. I stopped at my favorite watering hole. I was sitting in my car powdering my nose, when a car parked beside mine. I casually glanced over, as I applied another coat of Panic Button Red lipstick. My hand froze in mid-stroke; it was my mysterious flirty man. We both stared at each other, much like deer caught in headlights. I was the first one to move, as I closed the lid to my lipstick case. He grinned at me. We got out of our cars at the same time. Finally, I get a good look at him under the bright street light; dark curly close cut hair, dark undetectable hued eyes, at least 6 feet and dressed in a black golf shirt, and khaki Dockers. Oh my...what a hottie! "Can I buy you a drink, Milady?" He asked in a spicy baritone. I curtsied, "Why yes, Milord! I am a wee bit thirsty and a drink will quell these fires that I feel burning!" He laughed, "That I doubt, me fine lass!" So our flirtation continued, but this time its song and dance had voice, as we made our way into the bar. Finding a corner table, we settled in, not speaking--mainly looking. We ordered our drinks, still flirting with our eyes. Suddenly, I knew that I didn't want to know his name. The magical moment would be lost, mystical intrigue gone forever. When his lips formed the question, I quickly placed my fingers over them, "Hush, kind knight, let's leave some mystery for the morning to rise on." I felt his lips smile under my fingers. He took them in his hand, kissed them, "So be it, my moonlight imp." Our drinks arrived. Sipping them, we discreetly moved closer until our thighs were touching. The music grew louder, as our eyes flirted. A low throbbing pulsation began deep within my mound of pleasure. I let my hand fall on the thigh that was touching his. Pretending to scratch it, I let the side of my hand brush over his thigh. When his leg jerked at the contact, I felt my heart jerk too. I rubbed up and down our legs, enjoying the contrast of our clothing, me in a navy silk dress, and he in khaki cotton Dockers. When the music of Santana began, he pulled me onto the dance floor. We gyrated to the driving beat, our bodies moving as one. His eyes focused on my Panic Button Red lips, hot desire flooded his face. He turned me so that he was behind me, my back locked to his hips. I felt his hard cock, probing the cheeks of my ass like a keys hunting for the lock. Wanting him, I pushed back against it. He inhaled the fragrance of my hair. I raised my arms to encircle his neck, framing his head, thus allowing his access to my sides, front and lastly, my breasts. His roaming hands followed my thoughts. Our movements became one, grinding to the rhythm of the hot sounds of the music, letting our hunger pulse to the tempo. The crowd became so tight that we could barely move. I felt his knees bend behind me, his hands pushing the back of my dress up. I reacted by arching my ass back into him, praying to find hot throbbing flesh against my fevered skin. A wet cock tip touched the back of my lower thigh briefly. I felt his fingers go under the string of my thong panty, and move it aside, causing the fabric to pull against my clit. Sliding up and down, my wet slit with his cock made me moan. It rode the waves of music and became lost. I arched my hips back and up so that his cock could slip in with ease. Its size made me tremble. My dark knight whispered in my ear, "Are you ready to get fucked, Milady? My cock is alive and hungry, ready to devour your dewy petals." I grinded back against him, showing my need instead of wasting words, the weepy tip at my wet entrance made me tremble in anticipation. To the rhythm of the song, he moved it into me, inch by fast/slow inch, filling me completely. With every thrust into me, I felt the fabric of my thong caressing my throbbing clit. The music changed to a faster dance song, we moved in tune with it, as if the Dee Jay knew of our heat, of our need, of our greed to fuck like wild animals with the layers of civilization stripped away. So we were, animals lost in lust. I gripped him with my pussy, letting him feel how developed my wet wall were, massaging him s he thrust in and out in short strokes, never leaving me completely. The crowd became wilder in their dance, as he and I fucked. Did they feel us? Did they notice? I thought this briefly, but forgot the answers as I felt a building inside me. The pressure reaching a boiling point, and I exploded in Panic Button Red passion. He cried out into my ear, as he felt me moving over the length of his cock with my orgasm, my pussy producing a rhythm of its own. He held my hips still and pounded me hard, whispering in my ear, "FUCKING HOT!” before spraying my vibrating walls with his cum. As we slowed down in our dance of fucking heat, a soft and cuddly love song began to play. He discreetly slipped out of me, pulling down my dress. I turned to face him, trying to help him guide his still rigid rock hard cock back in its hideaway, before anyone noticed. Success made us smile, satisfaction made us kiss. Pulling me close he held me as our heartbeat slowed its rapid race to a deeper solid soul glide in time with our contentment. Lost in his arms, I heard him whisper, "Sherrie, my love, my darling woman, promise me something? Next Friday when we live out my fantasy night that you will wear the same lipstick." I looked into his deep lapis blue eyes, saying with a twinkle in mine, reflecting the wanton knowledge of a very special bond that we shared, "For you my demon lover, anything!" To seal the deal, I kissed him with the Panic Button Red lips that he so loved.