13 comments/ 218245 views/ 23 favorites Niki & Sean By: Cardinal Singh Most incest stories don't do anything for me because they sound so fake. Some of the stories do seem real, for which I'm grateful, because I've needed for a couple of years to process this stuff between me and my younger brother. I hope writing here will help me get some perspective on all this. So here goes. My first name is Nicole but everyone just calls me Niki. I'm 21 and going to college -- somewhere. I have a good brain and people say I'm nice to be around. Physically, I'm 5'6", a bit thin, with light brown hair that I hate to cut. I have greenish eyes and fairly regular features. I've been told by friends and by guys my own age that I'm good-looking, but I know I'm not stunning or anything like that. A boyfriend once said I look like a pixie, which he seemed to think was okay. I play tennis and swim a lot, so I'm fairly strong and don't have much body fat. My personal behavior for the most part falls within the norm (I hope). I'm not a virgin but I've never been very active sexually, since AIDS scares me to death and I want to lead a good, reasonably long life. Well let me get right down to it. What I need to write about is my brother Sean. I'm totally obsessed. Sean goes to a different school from me, a few hundred miles away. He's 20 now and a classic "nice guy," the sort that other boys' moms wish they had: stays out of trouble, plays sports, studies hard. He competes in school swim meets, so you can probably visualize the kind of long, lean body he has. He would have no problem getting dates, only he's kind of on the shy side. I hope someday he gets over that. I also have a little sister Sam (she's almost 18 now), who wants to be just like me for some reason. That's it for the family. Mom has dates sometimes, mostly with men from where she works, but there's nobody of the male persuasion steady in her life, at least not that I know of. Dad left our household years ago; he lives in California. I spent my last summer vacation and last year's school vacations with him and he wasn't drinking for the first time I can remember. He did go to a lot of AA meetings, which made me happy. He said he got a lot of stuff worked out in his life by writing about it after he got sober, which is one reason I'm writing this. Maybe writing about it will help me too. The beginning of the events I'm writing about happened a couple of years ago in June. Sean had just turned 18 and I had been 19 for a couple of months. A couple weeks before, Sean had gotten into a losing argument with a car while riding his bicycle. It wasn't the driver's fault, since Sean had just barreled out into the street in front of him at full tilt. The bike was killed dead, a total wreck. Sean, was hurt but nothing life theatening. His arms were broken in a couple of places, plus a couple of ribs cracked and a broken collar bone. He had a little trauma to one of his kidneys but that healed fairly quickly, and assorted deep bruises. The thing we were all thankful for was that he got out of it alive of course, but also without serious head or spinal injuries. Still, He looked bad all banged up like that and I knew he was really hurting. When Sean got home from the hospital he was all wrapped up in bandages across his chest and had immobilizing casts on both arms. I remember how those two big guys set him up in that rented hospital bed in his room. He was all hooked up to ropes and pulleys that held his arms slightly elevated to accelerate healing, I guess. The poor guy was completely helpless and had to be taken care of all the time. Mostly Mom did all the work, but I helped out as much as I could. I felt really sorry for Sean, having to be fed and bathed and use a bedpan and everything. I just couldn't imagine having to use a bedpan. In a hospital room, with nurses to handle the details, maybe; but right there at home? With my own MOM or SISTER wiping my butt and pulling my pants back up and emptying the bedpan and everything? It boggled my mind to think about it. Still does. Sean seemed to take it in stride though and accept for sometimes seeming embarrassed didn't mention it. Well, after the first week or so Sean was strong enough to get out of bed and walk to the toilet if someone unhooked the ropes for him, but he still needed help because he couldn't bend his arms. And he couldn't stay on his feet for long. Poor guy. I found out the my mom is one tough cookie. She took care of the whole house AND Sean and never complained. After a couple of weeks though, it was obvious that money was going to get a little tight and Mom had to go back to the job she had taken a leave from to take care of Sean. In the third week after the accident, Mom got a call from her job and had to go in to help fix problems with some sort of engineering proposal they were all excited about. She put me in charge of Sean and Sam for the rest of the afternoon. I was watching TV when I heard Sean holler out for Mom, so I ran up to his room to see what he needed. He asked where Mom was and I told him, and he asked if I would mind getting him some fried chicken leftovers with honey since he was hungry. I said sure, and went to get it. When I got back he explained I needed to put a towel on his chest in case of spills. So I pulled the blanket down to his waist and put a hand towel over his chest, put another pillow under his head to bring his head closer to upright, sat down on the bed by him and held each piece of chicken up to his mouth so he could take a bite. He was smiling at me as I did all this, which made me feel good since I always really liked Sean. He's always been a great guy and a good younger brother. We had a minor mishap when some honey dripped off the chicken and started rolling down his cheek. I jerked the chicken away so I could dab at his cheek with the towel, but that just made things worse -- the chicken leg got away and landed half on Sean's stomach and half on the blanket. Sean started giggling out loud, so, since he wasn't wearing a shirt (the casts on his arms made him too hot if he wore one) I started tickling his sides, not too hard because it still hurt when he laughed. but fooling around like that just made him messier. Once we'd both calmed down a bit, I got a warm, wet washcloth and started washing him from his chest bandage down to the top of his pjs. bottoms, wiping his stomach gently so as not to start him laughing again. Sean had his eyes closed and was smiling, and I kind of felt really close to him then. I always did feel close to him but at that moment, I just loved him to pieces. There wasn't any sexual component to it; it was just that seeing him smile like that, with his eyes closed, as I washed his body. It made my heart full somehow. I don't know. I fetched another blanket to replace the one I'd messed up. But when I pulled down the blanket, the sheet pulled down with it, so he was uncovered except by his pajama bottoms. Nothing unusual about that really, But when I glanced back up at him from where I was removing the sheet and blanket, something struck me as odd. It was then that I realized Sean had an erection. It was raising the front of his pj's so that its outline showed rather clearly from his crotch down along his left leg. I guess my mouth dropped open in surprise; I know my eyes widened and I just kind of stared stupidly at the outline of his erect penis under the thin cloth of his pajamas. It's odd, but I remember an image flashed through my mind of his cute little thingie the last time I had seen it, when he was about 4 or 5 years old, and I thought how much bigger it was now. (Duh.) I don't know how long I stared. Eventually he more or less cried out "Niki!" and raised up the knee nearest me. I tore my eyes away and looked up at his face. Poor Sean -- he was so embarrassed! and --- CUTE! His cheeks were bright red, and I think he might have given just about anything to be able to cover himself up at that point. But with his arms immobilized, of course all he could do was raise his knee and sort of point it away from me in order to hide himself. I wanted to laugh, because he just looked so damn cute all embarrassed like that. At the same time though, my heart went out to him. I never meant to embarrass him. "Sean, it's okay," I told him. "I've seen pictures in sex-ed and you don't have anything to be ashamed of. I love you." Somewhere in there I started smiling at him. "You're beautiful. It's okay, you have a beautiful male body, and really it's okay." "I'm sorry Niki. I couldn't help it," he told me. "It felt so good when you were washing me, and I've been like stuck here for like forever. I'm really sorry, Niki. I'm so sorry." I remember thinking how unbelievable it was that he was thinking about MY feelings while he was just TOTALLY helpless. Now, at that time I wasn't and even today I'm still not the most sexually active person in the world, and at that time I was technically still a virgin. So big erections were kind of unknown territory for me. Not that I was completely ignorant. The year before, I had gotten a little too hot and heavy for comfort with my then boyfriend Tom in the back of his father's car a couple of times, me with my shirt unbuttoned and Tom groping me while I groped him back. One night I let him finger me between my legs until I had a weak little orgasm. Then he told me he needed release also, or it would be physically painful for him, which was a new idea to me. But fair is fair, so I let him show me the right way to stroke his erection and I brought him to climax that way; he spurted semen all over himself and his shirt and the car seat. It was amazing to me, but also a bit scary, how much fluid came jetting out of him. I could see how it might be painful for a boy to have to hold all that in. Anyhow, after a couple of dates where we "got each other off" manually, I told Tom it made me nervous because I didn't want to go all the way with anyone yet, and I was afraid we would lose control. Tom respected my wishes, bless him. We still hugged and kissed, but we toned it way down. After a while longer though, we just kind of drifted apart altogether (as boyfriend and girlfriend I mean). We were still friends, just not hot and heavy like we were before. Anyway, The point of all this is that I did know that the male of the species sometimes needs physical release just like girls do and I had learned (with Tom) just how to provide it. Sean looked so miserable, and I was feeling such love for him, and I so wanted for him to understand that his feelings and his body really were okay, and that I didn't think any less of him -- all these feelings just sort of came together in my mind all at once very strongly, and while I held his gaze I sat down next to him, reached over his bent leg and cupped my hand over his erection. It had shrunk a bit in his embarrassment, I guess, but as I held it I felt it grow full again, and Sean straightened out his knee. His penis sort of twitched irregularly, moving under my hand as I gently squeezed. Sean was looking seriously shocked, so I smiled and went, "Shhhh!" God. After keeping all this to myself it feels very strange and good in a way to be writing it out in detail like this so others can read about it. Even more weird, it's making me feel itchy. Horny. This can't be normal. I'm like totally soaked right now just writing about it. Amazing. I've gotta go. I'll write more later. *********************************************************************** Anyhow, to get on with it. "Sean," I told him as softly as I could. I was kind of worried about someone hearing us even though Mom was at work and Sam NEVER got off the phone if Mom wasn't home. Still I was nervous and I babbled. "I know this is a normal thing for a boy to feel. I know how guys need relief sometimes, and you can't do it for yourself right now. I know it must be very uncomfortable. But I'll bet I can help you feel better. Can I? I mean, Would you mind?" While I babbled all this he was just staring at me. His face looked very intense. After a few seconds of silence (I think he was just plain stunned) I started to take my hand away. That's when his words came out in a rush. "Are you sure you want to?" he asked. I smiled and nodded. "Oh, Niki, That's so nice of you. I've been so frustrated. If you'd do that for me... are you sure?" He was sort of babbling too. I looked up at him -- he was watching me from between his suspended arms -- nodded, then hooked my hands over his pj bottoms at each side of his hips and pulled down on them. Sean raised up slightly to help and I pulled his pajama bottoms down below his knees, leaning back to do so. His penis flipped up and hit him in the stomach with a slap. It was kind of throbbing with his heartbeat and I couldn't take my eyes away from it. I don't know, it was just so pretty somehow and fascinating. It was like I was mesmerized or something. This wasn't a grope session in a dark car. This was on top of a bed, with the light on, and no one else in the house but my little sister gabbing endlessly on the phone. Sean's cock just looked incredibly beautiful to me. It wasn't HUGE like in the stories I've seen since than. I guess it was about 7 inches long but it was just so perfectly proportioned, so, I don't know, perfect. It had little blue veins sticking out on its surface and a big purplish, plumb looking head on the end. It stood there, throbing like that, and actually took my breath away. I don't know about other girls, but that's what seeing him like that did for me. I really don't know how normal I am for any of this really. I guess that's one reason I'm writing this. Maybe it's just me, but the effect of seeing Sean fully engorged like that was -- electric. It was like all my circuits were suddenly running on double voltage. My breathing was out of control and my body was begging me to masturbate, and I was totally enthralled. I was a virgin at the time after all, and very curious too. I reached over to grasp it. God, it was so warm in my hand. I squeezed gently, and the thing kind of pulsed in my hand (something else that made my hormones go haywire.) Then when I stroked my hand upward toward the head the way Tom had taught me, moisture appeared at the end and spread downward to my fingers. I reached my left hand over to rub my finger around in this stuff, which felt warm and slick. Sean groaned and hunched his hips up toward my hand. I could tell it felt very good to him; lord knows it was making my own world intense. My hormones must have been in flood stage by then. I could see and pay attention to everything I did to Sean, I could see the physical details of how he was built, how his testicles hung down against his crotch and where his butt started down below that, and I could see a sort of hint of his ass hidden away down there. But most of all, I could clearly see what happened when I did certain things to him, and all this made me a bit crazy. One time I glanced up to his face and saw Sean gazing back down with his eyes half shut, watching the action, but I didn't look up long enough even to smile or anything. I just looked right back down at his wonderful, full cock and at what I was doing to it and how Sean was responding. "Niki, I'm getting close," he said, his voice a bit breathless. So I stroked my right hand up and down faster. Then, pausing but not letting go of him, I moved over on the bed so my left knee rested outside of his right leg and my right knee was between his legs. It gave me a more direct view of his cock and his ball sack -- okay, his scrotum, but that's such an ugly word -- Even THAT was beautiful to me. I don't even really like the word cock all that much, but I can't call it a penis the whole time. Anyway the thing was totally beautiful to me. I don't know, maybe I'm just a total slut or something. Anyway, I reached over with my left hand to lift his balls while I stroked his erection with my right, and the tips of my left hand fingers, pressing lightly against the skin behind where his ball sack joined his body, could feel his muscles contract every now and then. From this and from his hip action I figured he was about to let loose with his semen, like Tom had done. When I scratched lightly at the skin behind his balls he moaned softly, so I stroked up and down faster with my right hand and kept scratching lightly, up and down behind his ball sack, with my other hand. This provoked a more intense moan, and he started hunching his hips up and down. It was fascinating and wonderful to watch. I guess it was too intense to last -- Sean started to spurt, and I could actually feel each jet of semen moving against my fingers inside him, just before it pulsed out of the little slit on the end. My left hand fingers, resting against Sean's crotch behind his balls, could feel the muscles there contract with each spurt. I hadn't noticed any of this with Tom, but then everything about this was different from anything before. By now I was moving my own hips back and forth, rubbing myself against Sean's leg; it was so compulsive that it still makes me a little embarrassed to recall, But I needed the release and had a little orgasm myself as Sean shot out his semen. He must have spurted strongly 4 or 5 times, not counting the little in-between "spurtlets." I can still see it clearly in my mind. His first really strong pulse was incredible -- it went clear up to his face, landed on his right cheek next to his nose, and left a string of the stuff down over his lips and chin onto his chest bandages and the towel. As I continued stroking he kept spurting with decreasing energy until finally his penis started getting softer and smaller in my hand. Unlike with Tom I didn't want to let go right away, but Sean sort of pulled away, murmuring: "Too hard, Niki, take it easier.". So I tried to make my hand motions less urgent. Guided by Sean's hip movements and soft vocal sounds, I moved my hand against him gently until finally he lowered his hips all the way back down and I knew he was finished. This is how I learned it hurts a boy to stroke his penis too hard when he is almost done ejaculating, but feels good to him if you rub gently at the underside, just below the head. I guess the nerves there are concentrated but not oversensitive. Male physiology is very strange sometimes. I really love it, but it's strange all the same. "You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, Sean," I told him, and meant it. "I love you." Then on impulse I leaned up to kiss him. I was gonna kiss his cheek but at the very last moment something made me kiss him on the mouth. Well, his semen was on his lips and so then it was on MY lips. I open my mouth slightly so I could wipe my tongue over his mouth and sort of clean him where his semen had landed. I guess a little part of me was curious about it too. I guess I just wanted to taste it for some reason. It was salty and warm but kind of okay. I liked it. Or maybe what I liked was knowing where it came from and that I had caused it. Sean-juice, courtesy of Niki. Anyhow, after I kissed him I used the towel to wipe up the rest of his semen. It had shot all over the place and had collected in little puddles here and there, mostly on his belly. "Sean, are you okay that I did that for you?" I asked him. I was a little worried and guilty, I mean incest is a strong taboo, but I have to say that I wasn't even really thinking about the incest part just then, just that he might be mad at me or something and not such a sweet brother any more. But all Sean did was stare at me. His eyes were wide open and steady, and he just gazed at me and nodded his head. I've always loved that steady gaze of his. It melts me every time. At that point I started to babble a little again "I'll come back and do it again if you want me to, until you get well, but I don't have to if you don't want me too." I told him. Niki & Sean "Oh Niki, I love you. I really do," he said and the way he said it, the way his voice kinda cracked a little when he said it, just about made me cry. I smiled at him and got up to warm the washcloth that had started all this. I washed him off again before pulling his pj's back up. I put the new sheet and blanket over him, kissed him on the mouth again quickly, and left. Now this whole thing was NOT entirely noble of me. I got back to my room and just sat on my bed for like five minutes. I could still smell him on my hand and I could taste a little of him in my mouth. I was totally shaken by the whole thing. In a little while I dropped my pants, lay down and rubbed myself to a really huge orgasm that felt like it lasted about 10 minutes. God it was intense. The sight of Sean's beautiful penis spurting semen all the way up to his face just wouldn't leave my mind, and as the night wore on, I found myself having to release my OWN energies several times more before I could even get to sleep that night. The next morning was the same -- I masturbated to the thought of Sean erupting for me and memories of how he tasted almost as soon as I woke up, and since it was a Saturday, I repeated the process two or three times during the day, just about every time I went to the bathroom, in fact. I just couldn't seem to get over it. This is another thing that has me worried. I'm STILL obsessed -- Even more so really. That night, Mom went to bed early and Sam stayed over at a friend's house, so about a half hour after the house went dark I snuck into Sean's room again. "Sean," I whispered. "Yeah, hi Niki," he whispered back. "Would you like me to do it for you again? Would you mind? I really want to," I whispered, and sat down on the bed by him. I guess I was past trying to be subtle or act noble about it -- I just wanted a repeat of the night before! "Niki, I was scared YOU wouldn't want to anymore. I was afraid you would hate yourself. Or hate me. Or wish it had never happened. I've been in here thinking about it like crazy all day." He sounded very tense, so I smiled and rested my hand on his stomach, on top of the blanket. "I would do anything not to hurt you Niki, but you can't know how much what you did meant to me. It felt so good and I'm so alone in here. I love you so much." He was starting to babble again, but I didn't mind. I just moved my hand around in circles on his stomach and watched his face. He may be my brother, but at that moment, in the shadowy light from the street outside, he looked more beautiful to me than any human has a right to be, with eagerness and fear and a shy smile chasing each other across his face. I simply loved him. Totally. "If you don't really want to that's alright. But if you're okay with it, if you're sure -- I would love it," he whispered. "I love you, Niki" he added again, and I'm sure he meant it, because I loved him at that moment too, and I told him so. There was something wonderful about the trust and intimacy of it. I got up and locked his door (we all got door locks as kids as soon as we could be trusted not to lock ourselves in by accident -- it was Mom's statement of respect for our privacy). Then I switched on his reading lamp so I could see him better. He was watching me, his eyes shining. I could hear him breathing faster, and I guess I was puffing a bit, too. Gazing at his face, I squatted down by the bed and reached my arm down under the blanket to his pj bottoms, then under the elastic and down to his penis. It was already hard, so I reached under it and sort of flipped it over, so it lay up along his stomach, and stroked it gently up and down, putting light pressure on the underside of it. When he sighed, I leaned up under his elevated arm and kissed him on his mouth. His lips were open so I opened mine too, and his tongue strayed hesitantly into my mouth. I played my own tongue against his, and it turned into a deep, lingering kiss as I rubbed his cock under the covers. It was very intense. When we broke the kiss, I whispered, "I want to see you," and moved to pull down the blanket and sheet. I then pulled his pajamas down; as before, he raised his hips to help. Once again I was treated to the sight of his erect cock, pulsing in time to his heartbeat and again it was a powerful and beautiful sight. I guess you can tell by now that I LOVE penises. No I take that back. I don't know about ALL penises, but just seeing Sean's can make wet. I moved onto the bed and knelt below his crotch, this time with both knees between his legs. This forced his legs farther apart than they had been the previous night and I had a better view of his physiology as I stroked him. When he raised his knees a little and moved them farther apart, it was even better. I was fascinated at the way he pulsed just before I felt it move in my hand and a little bit of fluid would dribble out -- but not really dribble, more like just moisture spreading out from the end. I reached over with my left hand to rub the liquid into his skin on the underside, where the head joined the main body of it, the upper shaft, where the night before I had learned he was sensitive. He moaned softly at that, and hearing him made me feel so energized and intense that I could hardly stand it. On impulse, I leaned over and licked the underside of his cock, starting down by his balls and moving up to the head. It tasted strongly of his semen up by the head, a bit less neutral than I remembered from the previous night, somewhat saltier. Sean juice a la Niki again. Delicious. "My God, Niki - oh my God, that feels good," he moaned. So I moved my right hand down to the base of his cock, lifted his balls with my left hand, and took his it right into my mouth. It was the first time I had ever done that. All I had ever heard about it was a few giggling remarks about "eating" from my girl friends and a mention or two of oral sex in sex-ed class. I don't even know why I did it. But I did do it, and I liked it. And since i've learned that I really love it. Boys can't know the delicious, sinful sense of power a girl can get from running her mouth up and down on a hard cock, knowing she is in control, knowing that the tube of hard-but-soft flesh in her mouth is concentrating the boy's every sensation into a final explosion, and she is the cause of it. I doubt if even gay males can share that feeling since they have the same physiology as their partner. As a female I got a sense of control over powerful but dimly understood forces that made my blood race. It was my first experience of that exhilaration. As Sean's cock throbbed in my mouth he started hunching his hips up at my face. I removed my right hand from his cock and put it down on the bed by his hip so I could put my weight on it and move my head up and over his cock more. By raising my body and then lowering my head so my hair fell down on his stomach. I don't know why, but I wanted to take as much of him into my mouth as possible without causing myself physical discomfort and I did. I think I took most of him in, right into my throat, and it didn't even choke me! I was so proud of myself for that. Suddenly though, Sean started to spurt, once again in a series of powerful jets that this time I felt against the back of my throat. There was a kind of vibration to it as the fluid spurted out into me. As this happened, Sean was hunching his cock up and down in my mouth so I kept my head still and just circled my tongue against the underside of his cock as he moved, to let him pace his own release. I know guys don't produce this much, but it felt like a whole cup of his stuff went down my throat as I kept swallowing while he gushed. He was groaning and saying my name over and over. It was SO SO intense. As his ejaculation finished, his cock shrank and I still had him entirely inside my mouth. but My body was practically screaming at me to masturbate and I could fell my own wetness running down my thighs. So when his cock finally stopped twitching. I held him against the roof of my mouth with my tongue for awhile longer, until I was sure he had finished, then I kissed its head, cleaned him up a little, pulled up his pj's, covered him with a blanket, whispered, "I have to go now," and hurried out of the room. I practically ran back to my own room and masturbated to a series of intense, crashing orgasms. I fingered and manipulated and rubbed myself, sometimes in ways I had never tried before -- I even put a finger up my own butt during one climax. I was quite shameless. It was terrific. For the next few weeks, until his casts came off, I went into Sean's room almost every night after everyone else was asleep. Sometimes I used my hands on him but more often I used my mouth; each time, I drained him of semen and then ran back to my room to watch an instant replay in my mind as I released my own pent-up energies. The most amazing thing to me is that other guys -- guys who are not my own brother Sean -- have NEVER affected me in this way. I know this because all the time I was helping Sean out, (and "helping Sean out" is really the only term that makes any sense to me here) I was still dating other guys. But NO guy, NO ONE, came close to the intense feeling I had with Sean. They still don't. This is a BIG thing that has me worried. I remember one time I got back late from a date. I could not wait for the date to be over so that I could go home to Sean. When I did get back, Sean was already asleep when I went in. But that didn't stop me. I snuck my head and arms under the covers, carefully maneuvered his soft penis through the opening in the front of his pajamas, put it into my mouth and gently sucked on it. The sensation woke Sean up, and it absolutely thrilled me to feel how quickly he went from soft to hard, right there inside my mouth. Maybe because of the surprise, he lasted longer than usual that night, building gradually to his climax without any wild humping or such; he just let me control the pace. I loved it. After that, there is no way I could fool myself into thinking I did that to Sean as he slept in order to help HIM meet an immediate physical need. He had been fast asleep. I did it because I loved it, and I loved him, and he loved to have me do it. I did everything I could to please him and adored the reward of feeling his jetting semen into my throat. I drank him down and ran to my room for a mental replay and more intense orgasms. Finally, about a week before his casts came off, and at his request, I got completely naked and let him look at my body. He said I was beautiful, and for that moment I did feel beautiful, but also shy for some reason. He liked my boobs a lot, although they are not very big. I showed him how my nipples get hard when I stroke and pull on them, then let him suck at my nipples until I felt completely dizzy. I laid beside him, parting myself with my fingers so he could see how I'm built sexually. I put a finger up into myself so he could see how slick and wet it gets inside of me. I was extremely turned on and I don't know how I stopped myself from going all the way with him that night and losing both our virginities, but I did. I let him lick and suck my at my finger after it had been in me and he moaned just to taste me! Finally, I stroked myself to an intense orgasm while he watched. His eyes were wide, his head was up off the pillow, and I don't think he blinked the whole time. Boy, did I go off! With his arms up on ropes, watching was about all the participation he could manage -- other than letting me take care of his physical needs afterwards. It made him incredibly excited: After I stroked myself to climax right in front of his face, I scooted down on the bed to take him into my mouth, and he started spurting just about as soon as I closed my mouth around him. It felt like he gushed half a cup of semen down my throat that time! I only got naked for him the one time, though, because I was afraid Mom might wake up and knock at the door, and also, like I said, it made me feel self conscious. After Sean's casts came off everything changed. I went into his room again the night after they were off and we started kissing. It was wonderful, but when he put his hands on my body it really all got too intense for me. I guess having him helpless in those casts was what made most of it possible at all. I don't think any of this would have happened without those casts. I explained all this to Sean the best way I could, but at the time I don't think my explanation made much sense -- even to myself. My brother Sean, being the incredibly sweet man I have come to love, understood, though I could see that he really wanted me badly. I told him that maybe later in our lives we might decide to make love again, but for now we had better stop. He never pushed me about it, though he always had a smile ready when I looked his way or smiled at him. It all made me sad in a way that I couldn't allow him to be with me freely, the way he had allowed himself to be with me while in those casts. Even though there was no more sex between us, Sean still wanted to be with me and I wanted to be with him. We spent the rest of the summer together; going out, staying home, or just going for a walk and talking. We learned more about each other AFTER we had all that sex stuff between us than either of us had ever known before. Then at the end of that summer, I went off my college and he went off to his. (We both earned scholarships and we both take school very seriously.) During the semester, I tried to get my mind off of Sean, but I just couldn't seem to do it. The thing is, it wasn't just this intense sex thing anymore, although that was part of it. It was much more and that scared the daylights out of me. I knew that I was in love with my brother -- really, truly, stupid in love. I just couldn't help it. Every time I heard his voice on the phone I got dizzy. We wrote these really long letters to each other that never once mentioned sex or anything of the passion that lurked there beneath the surface. I think we both knew automatically that what had happened between us should never be talked about in a way that could be used against us. Anyway, the semester went on and I dated a little, mostly with a guy from two of my classes named Ed. Ed was this nerdy, sweet guy that always helped me with my school work. I didn't really feel anything strong for Ed, but I let him have my virginity anyway. I don't know. I always hated the huge deal that virginity is. I just wanted to get it out of the way and since Ed was a virgin too, I knew he was safe. So I got on the pill and Ed and I screwed around a little, but then I broke it off. I'm afraid I might have been a little bit of a bitch to him. Oh well. I think the real reason I lost my virginity was because I was really strongly thinking about doing it with Sean. I've done a little personal research on this incest thing and it turns out that there are a LOT of brothers and sisters, and brothers and brothers, and even a lot of sisters and sisters (that surprised me) who fool around a little, but also that there are hardly ANY siblings that "go all the way" to full intercourse. So I knew what I wanted was abnormal. I just couldn't help it. I was still masturbating to intense orgasms thinking about Sean and some of the incest stories that I read here and in other places got me really revved up. Thank you Brodosis, among others. All of this lead up to the end of the semester and the Christmas break. I knew both Sean and I would go home for the holidays, and the thought of seeing him again, instead of just writing him or talking to him on the phone had me a little frantic. I was apprehensive and totally excited about it at the same time. Mostly I knew that I wanted him, even as I also knew that it was perverted of me to want him. Those two ideas fought against each other in my head and sometimes made me cry -- mostly after those intense orgasms. In all of this it was never Sean who was the bad guy, it was me. I actually trust Sean completely. I saw trust mentioned in someone else's story on incest, but the story never mentioned how much guilt and self doubt goes along with it. Anyway finals came. I did well, but not as well as I might have done. Toward the end of the semester I had become a bit useless at school. I spent half my mental time in bed with my brother, going around kind of dreamy, moonstruck, fantasizing about Sean loving me back instead of just being passive like he had to be those first times. Anyway, I finished up and headed home not knowing at all what to expect from myself. *********************************************************************** I got home on a Friday afternoon before Sean got there and unpacked. I talked to my mom who knows me pretty well and could see something was bothering me. I told her that I just had a little bit of an upset stomach -- this was actually true since my stomach was churning at the thought of seeing Sean again. Mom told me to take some Pepto Bismal, but I didn't. I was up in my room when I heard someone at the front door and heard my mother yell my brothers name. They met at the door and talked for a moment as I stood at the doorway of my bedroom silently and listened. I couldn't believe how scared I was just to know that -- sex or no sex -- I would be with him for real soon. Then I heard Sean say that he had seen my car outside and heard him ask Mom where I was. I frantically looked in my mirror and fixed myself up as I heard him come up the stairs. I was standing by my dresser when he saw me. He was beautiful, even more beautiful than the last time I saw him. My stomach churned, my heart was in my throat. I don't know how I must have looked to him. He looked at me with that steady, intense gaze of his and smiled that sweet smile that could melt metal. Then we were rushing into each others arms. Kissing and kissing and kissing. Murmuring I-love-you's and I-missed-you's and I suddenly didn't know why in the world I had been so worried. This was Sean. I could ALWAYS trust Sean. That was temporary of course. All the fear and self doubt would be back. We broke the kiss and looked into each others eyes. I think we both knew what the other was thinking. "What are we gonna do?" he asked "I don't know." "God Niki, I haven't been able to get you off my mind all semester." "Me neither" was all I said. Then we were kissing again, only this time the kiss got very intense and we started groping and undressing each other. I kicked the door closed to my room as I unbuttoned and bared his chest. We danced around the room undressing while remaining constantly attached at the mouth. It was STUPID. We were half naked and the bedroom door wasn't even closed all the way. We had just gotten home. Surely our mother would want us to spend time with her and she would come looking for us if we were gone for too long. But our desire was strong. I spun us around and quickly closed and locked the door, still caught up in that endless kiss. Sean frantically unbuttoned my jeans as I unbuttoned his shirt. I kicked my shoes across the room and pulled his shirt down over his shoulders. We pushed each others jeans down and I squeezed that little butt I had missed so much. Then, with me left only in my underwear and bra, Sean lifted me up like I was nothing and sat me down on my old dresser. We stopped kissing at that moment and just looked at each other, puffing like freight trains. His body was so much fitter now, I couldn't believe how in shape he had gotten in one semester. He was so beautiful and strong. He lowered his little briefs and out sprang his lovely phallus, so hard and ready. He grabbed me by the back of my head and pulled me to him, kissing me hard. It was a decisive, commanding kiss that sent thrills through me and made me want to melt. For the first time I wasn't in charge, HE was and it felt so good. Niki & Sean He broke the kiss and looked at me again, his eyes half closed. "Niki, I have to fuck you." He said, his voice a little hoarse. "I know." I said. Without another word, I slid just a bit farther back on the dresser and spread my legs. With one hand I pulled my underwear out of the way and with the other I grabbed his gorgeous dick and pulled him to me. I rubbed the purple head up and down my lips and then put it at my entrance. I closed my eyes as he just slid into me, all at once. I was so wet that he just glided right into me like I was filled with butter. Oh my God. He was SO hard; SO SO hard and strong and deep in me. When he was fully inside of me a deep groan went through him and he opened his eyes for a moment to look at me. Something about the way he was, the way he looked and felt at that moment was just so insanely sexy to me that at that moment that I just wanted to die. Then he began to fuck into me; slowly at first, but it grew until he was fucking me hard, making me groan and the mirror attached to the dresser bang against the wall. "What are you guys doing up there? Quit playing around you two. Come on down and talk to me." our mother yelled. Of course we stopped in mid stroke. "Ten minutes Mom." Sean yelled back trying to sound like it was nothing. "I'm just showing Niki something." "Well come show it to me too, Niki's not the only one that's missed you." We looked at each other, smiled, then cracked up a little. "Ok Mom, ten minutes." yelled Sean "Ok." Sean picked me up again and without removing himself from me carried me to my bed. He laid me down, stopped for a second to remove my underwear, then drove easily into me again and started fucking me hard, just pounding me down into the bed. This was only the forth time I had ever done it and it was mind boggling, nothing at ALL like Ed. I got all dizzy as he fucked into me. I wrapped whole body around him. I was aware of the need to be quiet, but I just couldn't help all of the moans and cries that his fucking elicited from me. The weird part was that I completely didn't care about an orgasm. Usually an orgasm is important to me, but I don't even remember if I came that first time. Maybe I came the WHOLE time. It didn't matter. It was totally emotional. Orgasmic on a spiritual level -- if that makes any sense. Sean was finally fucking me and that's what mattered. I do remember that I wanted badly for HIM to come and inside of me. I told him so. "Come inside me, Sean." I whispered, "It's ok." It was at that moment that Sean did come. With a great, strangled groan he started shooting into me, pouring into me, filling me and allowing me to feel the wonderful extra slipperiness of his come inside of me. Then he was lying on me, gasping little gasps as his orgasm waned, kissing my lips and cheek and ear, telling me how much he loved me, his beautiful, masculine weight on me, filling me. I was safe and loved and so so happy. A psych professor of mine once said that when you vividly remember a touch or a movement, it means the memory has gone bone-deep because those are the hardest senses to fool or to make hallucinate. Well the memories of Sean lying on top of me that first time are memories like that. They are so vivid I can just close my eyes and I'm there again. We lay together afterwards for a few more moments, kissing lightly, stroking each others' bodies, knowing we had to go down very soon. I was still stunned by the sheer emotional pleasure he had just given me, and felt closer to him than I'd ever been to anyone in my life. We shared one last kiss, then forced ourselves to rise and quickly dress. I made a quick trip to the bathroom before we both headed down to see Mom. The first week was insane. We could hardly let each other alone. We took awful chances and had absolutely amazing sex. All he had to do is touch me or look at me with that open, direct gaze of his and I'd spasm. We kissed and hugged far too often for a brother and sister and our hormone levels were way too high for our own good. I'm pretty sure that my mom knows about us now. Toward the end of the fist crazy week, she came in to the den with a bundle of clothes to fold as Sean and were alone watching TV. She was folding clothes while we were just sitting there silent. Then she suddenly sighed and spoke. "Niki, Sean, I want you both to know that you can talk to me about anything ok?" This was kind of unlike her and it made both Sean and me nervous. "Ok Mom" we both said at the same time. "I mean it now." she said firmly. "I'm right down the hall from your bedrooms. You can talk to me." "Ok Mom" we both said again. The way she said all this pretty much left no doubt in either of our minds that she knew or at least strongly suspected what was going on. Sean and I may have been too careless. As for Sam, I think she suspects too, but I don't know. I hope not. That would really upset me, seeing as how she looks up to me and all. It's been almost three weeks since Sean and I first made love and it's almost time to go back to school. I don't want to give him up. I love him so much and I know he loves me too. Other guys at school and such just seem annoying to me now and the thought of spending another whole semester apart from him makes me a little sick. I don't know what to do. It's all becoming such a crisis. Well that's my story for what it's worth. I wish that I could talk to someone about this. Should I go back to school and try to forget him? We'll he even really be my brother anymore if I do that. That scares the hell out of me. Should we just skip this semester and work it out? I don't want to lose my scholorship. What am I going to do? All I know is that I want him SO MUCH.