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My Brother, My Roommate, My Lover

By: SmallTitFan



Hi. I'm Lizi and I'm now 36 years old. This story is about stuff that happened 17 years ago when I started college. It concerns my brother and me, and it's all true.

*

My name is Lizi. Actually, of course, it's Elizabeth, but everybody calls me Lizi, including my family. I'm 19 years old and a freshman in college at the University of Florida. Going away to school has been more of an experience than I ever imagined it would be. I guess I was a fairly innocent girl before I went to college but that all changed quickly. To understand this, you'll need to know some history.

I was born to educated, well-mannered parents. Mom and Dad are very intelligent and they don't make a big fuss over things that aren't important. They both worked at jobs that paid them well. We grew up in a nice home with a swimming pool and everybody had their own bedroom. When we reached 16, each of us was given a car. It was a used car, but we each had our own car to drive and it was great having some freedom.

My parents don't smoke but they do drink alcohol sometimes. They're not drunks or wild party animals but I have probably seen each of my parents "under the influence" on one or two occasions. They don't curse like sailors but they occasionally used a swear word and didn't freak out if one of us kids said "damn" or "hell."

I have an older brother named Edward, but everybody calls him Ed. He is three years older than me and he is a senior at UF. Ed and I were always close when we were growing up and there weren't many secrets that we didn't share.

I don't want to sound like I'm conceited but Ed and I have always been told that we're attractive. I'm not a beauty contest winner but most guys would like to have a date with me. I have dark blonde hair and green eyes. I'm 5'4" tall and I weigh 115 lbs., so I'm fairly slender but not anorexic. 

Now that I've grown up I have 34B boobs. I know that's not big in the boob department but it's what I have. Sometimes I wish I had bigger boobs but I have friends with humongous tits who wish theirs were smaller. I'm not flat-chested and I definitely don't look like a guy with my shirt off. If you think having a handful of tits is enough, then I have enough. Besides, big tits would look gross on a girl as petite as me. I've been told that they're very cute and perky. I'm out in the sun a lot and, in Florida, that means you have a good tan. I've been told that I'm as cute as most of the cheerleaders at my high school.

Ed is 5"10" and he has dark brown hair. He played baseball in high school and he's always been athletic. My friends always had a crush on him and said they wanted to "boink" him. I just laughed when they said that. Ed was always nice to them, considering that he's three years older than me and my friends.

My family are not nudists but we weren't prudes at home, either. When we were kids, after I had my bath, I would run around in just my panties until I was about 9 years old. After that, I had to wear a T-shirt or pajama top when I was out of the bedroom. Sometimes I sleep in just my panties and a T-shirt but sometimes I sleep in just my panties. When I turned 16, if I shut my bedroom door, I slept absolutely naked and I loved it.

Ed ran around the house in just his underwear until he was twelve or thirteen. One day, I asked my Mom why Ed's underwear was poking out in front and that's when I had to start wearing a top. They made Ed start wearing a bathrobe around the house too but, when they were gone, Ed and I would sometimes walk around the house in just our underwear. It wasn't a big deal to us and it certainly wasn't anything sexual. We were just comfortable with seeing each other in our underwear. Besides, we shared a bathroom and life was easier because we didn't maintain any false modesty.

Ed and I always talked about our friends and we talked about dating, too. When he was a senior in high school, I was in the 9th grade. I wasn't really dating then but he was and he told me about it. He was 18 years old and I thought he was so grown up! He told me about kissing girls and feeling their boobs. It felt a little weird to hear my brother talk about that. I thought that maybe those girls were sluts, even though Ed never said that he went further than just feeling their boobs. Maybe he was having sex with them but, if he was, he didn't tell me.

I asked Ed about dating. I asked him a lot of questions. I asked him why guys wanted to stick their tongue in a girl's mouth. I asked him why guys went nuts trying to see a girl's panties. I asked him why guys always talked about it if they had sex with a girl. He always answered my questions and I learned as much from him, maybe more, than I did from my girlfriends.

Ed also talked to me about drinking. He and his friends would sometimes get some beer and I even saw Ed drunk once when he was in high school. Mom and Dad were gone overnight to some convention for Dad's job and Ed came home that night drunk. I was ready for bed when I heard him come in the front door. He was staggering and talking funny, you know, slurred and hard to understand.

I followed him to his bedroom to make sure he was okay. He started undressing just like I wasn't there and he stripped down to his underpants. Then he said he needed to pee. He went in the bathroom and forgot to close the door; I heard him peeing. I guess I could have followed him and got an eyeful; at that time, I hadn't seen a guy's thing except on the babies I had when I did babysitting. I wanted to look but I didn't want Ed to get mad at me or think I was weird, so I didn't do it.

Ed came back to his bedroom and fell down on the bed. He was out in 5 seconds. I laid down next to Ed and put my arms around him. I loved my brother and I wanted to take care of him. After that, I know that Ed continued to drink occasionally but I never saw him drunk again.

In the summers, we both had part-time jobs so we were gone from the house and saw less of each other but there were times when we were both at home on a weekday and Mom and Dad were both at work. We would hang out at our pool a lot, just the two of us. By the time I was 15 and Ed was 18, I had boobs. They were a bit smaller back then, but so was I. Just the same, I was proud of my boobs and I liked to wear a bikini when I was around the pool.

One day that summer, I was already at the pool and I knew Ed would be coming out in a few minutes. I laid on my stomach and reached behind me to undo my bikini top. I wanted to work on not having a tan line, at least on my back. When Ed came out to the pool, I could see the front of his baggies poking out. By that time, I knew what caused the tent in the shorts. That was the first time that I thought that maybe Ed considered me to be attractive as a girl and not just like a cute kid sister.

That was the summer before Ed went away to college. When he left, I cried. I felt like my best friend had just abandoned me. I didn't let my parents see me cry. I was afraid they would think I was being silly. I missed him. A lot.

Every time he came home for a weekend or holidays, he always found time for me. He would hang with his high school friends and some UF friends who lived in our area, but he always had time for me. He would take me out to lunch and we'd talk about school, his love life, my love life, and all sorts of stuff. It seems like he dated a bunch of girls but never settled down with any one of them. I was glad because I didn't want to see him hooked up permanent with any girl. The way he described them, most of them seemed to be okay but not good enough for him. That's what I thought.

We'd talk about my love life, too. When I was 18, I was a senior and I had been dating one guy, Mark, steady for the past two years. Despite what everybody else thought or refused to believe, we had not had sex. I was still a virgin. Well, we hadn't had sex like regular sex. I had given Mark a few hand jobs and he had felt my boobs. (Yes, I figured out that letting a guy feel your boobs didn't automatically make you a slut.) A few weeks earlier, we had come home from a date and we sat in his car for awhile. I was wearing a skirt and Mark put his hand between my legs. He started rubbing on my panties between my legs and I had an orgasm in like 30 seconds. It was incredible; way better than anything I could do to myself. Mark wanted me to do more but I was afraid. That was the extent of my sexual experience in high school.

When Ed was home for a weekend, he asked me to go to a club with him and I thought it was a cool idea. Once we were there, he got me a rum and coke and made me promise I wouldn't tell Mom and Dad. Actually, I had two rum and cokes and that was more than I had ever drank before. I danced some with a few guys I knew and then Ed asked me to dance. When we walked out on the dance floor, the fast song they had been playing ended and a slow dance started. I felt okay about doing a slow dance with my brother so I turned and put my arms around him to dance. I put my head on his shoulder and it felt like I was in a dream. After a few seconds, I felt Ed's hand on my butt, just playing around with the elastic at the top of my panties. The he pulled me closer to him and I felt his bulge against my inner thigh. This time, I was quite certain that Ed was attracted to me and I was flattered, because he was the coolest guy I knew, and he was older. But . . . Ed was my brother, even if he had a stiff member in his pants. 

When we got home that night, Mom and Dad were already in bed. We walked up the stairs and stopped at my bedroom door. Ed told me that he was glad that I went dancing with him and then he kissed me on the cheek. For a second, I thought he was gonna kiss me on the lips. I instantly felt my nipples get hard and I was glad that Ed couldn't see my pokies in the dark. I felt so horny that night that I shut my bedroom door, got naked in bed, and masturbated twice before I went to sleep. I felt kind of ashamed thinking about my brother and sex but I figured I was just horny and just thoughts couldn't be too bad.

Anyway, the next day, Ed asked me about where I was going to college and I really hadn't decided. He suggested that I go to UF and then he got excited about the idea. He said it would be cheaper for Mom and Dad to rent a house for the two of us to share instead of me living on campus. That got me excited and there wasn't any other college that I wanted to go to, so that made my decision easy. My grades and test scores were good enough to get in.

Once I got accepted, Ed talked to Mom and Dad about renting a house. He had checked out a few possibilities and he was right; it was cheaper for the two of us to share a house than living on campus in a dorm.

That summer, Mom and Dad and Ed and I all went to Gainesville for a weekend to look for a house to rent. We looked at a few of the cheaper houses south of the campus but Dad didn't want me living in that part of Gainesville. So we looked at a few houses with higher rent and we finally found one that was furnished and it even had a pool in the backyard with a privacy fence. Dad was happy with that. He said he didn't want any young perverts looking at me while I was laying out in the sun.

Dad got a couple of rooms at a hotel so we could stay over in Gainesville on Saturday night. Ed and I shared a room with twin beds and it wasn't adjoining Mom and Dad's room. Ed took his shower first and he exited the bathroom wearing just his boxers. I whistled at him teasingly and he defended himself by saying that he wasn't revealing anything more than he would show the public on a beach. When I came out of the bathroom wearing panties and a cutoff t-shirt that just covered my boobs, I didn't wait for any comments; I immediately declared that I, also, wasn't displaying anything that couldn't be seen on a public beach. Ed quickly jumped under the sheets and then I got in bed. A minute later, he went in the bathroom and was in there for an extended stay. I used the opportunity to finger myself. The idea that Ed might come out and catch me playing with myself seemed to make my orgasm more intense. Part of me was really disgusted that I was masturbating while my brother was in the bathroom, but I was so turned on I couldn't stop. After I came, I fell asleep within a few minutes. I don't know if Ed could smell the scent of sex when he came out of the bathroom, but he never said anything about it. 

A few weeks later, we packed up our stuff and drove down to Gainesville. Mom and Dad wanted to come along and I really didn't want that but Ed took me aside and told me to be patient because they'd be gone in less than 24 hours. He was right, of course. 

So Mom and Dad went to Gainesville with us. We unpacked everything and then Mom took me to the grocery store and she bought about half of the store and I guess I could tell she was worried. I tried to tell her I'd be okay but I don't think that made her feel better. She cried as they were leaving and then I started crying and then Ed said he would take care of me. Finally, they left.

We went back in the house and sat down in the living room. Ed started the conversation.

"Okay. They're gone now. So here's the rules: there aren't any rules. This is your place and you can do whatever you want. I'm not your Daddy; I'm just your big brother. If I see you startin' to do somethin' stupid, I'll talk to you about it, but I won't tell you what you can and can't do."

"Sometimes, I have a few friends over and we party, but other than that, things don't get too crazy around here. Right now, I don't have a girlfriend, so you don't have to worry about runnin' into somebody else in the bathroom in the mornin'. If you wanna have somebody spend the night, that's your business. Just let me know so I don't have any surprises the next mornin'."

"Well," I said, "I'm still goin' with Mark, so I probably won't be datin'. Mark might come up for a weekend occasionally, but that's about it."

"You know," Ed said in a very brotherly voice, "most people who start college when they're datin' somebody back home end up breakin' up within a few months, 'cause that long distance thing is hard to work and there's too much temptation all around you. Maybe you guys will be the exception, but don't be surprised . . .."

"Well, I'm not sure that he's the one for me. I mean, it's not like we had sex . . .."

"Holy shit!" Ed exclaimed. "That's amazing. You guys've dated forever and you still haven't had sex. . . . And he's still with you. Amazing!" After a brief pause, Ed continued, "that means you're still a virgin. Wow!"

"Yeah, but is there somethin' wrong with that?" I replied, feeling a bit defensive. After all, it wasn't like I was a 40 year-old virgin. I had just turned 19.

"No, sweetie, there's nothin' wrong with it. It's just that most girls aren't virgins by the time they get to college. You might feel a bit out of place when you make friends with chicks up here and they start talkin' about doin' the wild thing with their boyfriends."

"It's not like I'm totally inexperienced. We got naked together a few times and played with each other. But it just felt wrong to let him stick his dick in me just to feel good unless it meant somethin' and . . . I don't know . . . at the time, I thought he was just more interested in scorin' with me. I mean . . . I know he cared, but . . . I was scared and I just didn't want to go any further."

"Okay, well, if that's how you felt, it was probably the right decision. I'm just sayin', when you start datin' at college, most guys probably won't go out with you more than a few times unless they think they're makin' some progress towards gettin' it on. And . . . sooner or later, you'll let one of 'em get into your panties."

"Well, I'm not a total prude. Me and some friends went to a topless beach a few times in high school. Maybe I'll feel different if I start datin' somebody here, but not right now."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Mark's the one . . . well, maybe . . . but he's not here. So . . . tell me about the topless beach thing. I never heard about that."

"It was no big deal. Me and Lacy and Crystal went to this place where there aren't any houses for about a half-mile, and durin' the week, if you skip school and go there, you pretty much have it to yourself. So, we went there, and Crystal said 'hey, we can work on an all-over tan' so I said 'sure, why not' and we took off our tops and tanned."

"Cool. I wish you had invited me along. I'd love to see Crystal's big tits." Ed was my brother but he was always such a guy. "Ya know, that's funny, 'cause a few times last year, me and Joni went to a lake here where you can go totally naked and nobody cared. So when we were house huntin' a few weeks ago and I saw this pool, I thought about the possibility of doin' that here, ya know, not with Joni, 'cause she's history, but maybe I could and you could, if you were comfortable with it, and . . . who knows . . . maybe eventually we'd be comfortable enough to do it at the same time, but . . . but I don't want to weird you out or anything."

"Ya know," Ed continued, "bein' roommates means we need to be comfortable with each other. I mean . . . I don't usually walk around in a bathrobe or fully dressed and I hope that won't bother you. And you can walk around here as comfortable as you wanna be, too."

"Well, we've seen each other in our underwear enough times that it wouldn't be weird. And maybe I might wanna get a tan with no lines up top, but I don't know about totally nude, 'cause it's been like a long time since we saw each other that way and that might be a little too . . . well . . . weird," I said. The I added, "who knows, when I get comfortable with the idea, who knows what might happen."

"That's good. I usually lay out at the pool topless anyway," Ed joked. "We can get started on our tans this afternoon. I got nothin' else to do."

We had lunch -- just sandwiches and iced tea -- and then Ed said he was gonna change into his swimsuit. I went to my bedroom and put on a bikini that wasn't too eeny teeny weeny but it was a bikini.

When I went out the patio door to the pool, Ed was already laying on a lounge chair. He was wearing a pair of swim shorts that looked kinda like gym shorts. He already had a pretty good tan going.

I laid down in the chair next to him. I laid down on my stomach and I reached behind me to loosen my top.

"Ed, can you do my back?" I asked.

"Sure. You got some lotion here?"

"Yeah, I got a big bottle right here," I replied.

Ed got up and grabbed the bottle and squeezed some into his hands. Actually, it was a suntan oil, so it went on real smooth, like massage oil.

"Where do you want it?" he asked.

"I need it all over but mostly I need it on my back."

Ed started with my shoulders and arms. It felt like he was trying to massage me as he was applying it, not just rubbing it on but using a little pressure that I felt down into my muscles.

"Yum," I moaned, but not in a sexual way. His hands felt strong. "That feels good. You're hired."

"Well then, I'll keep going," he answered. Next he did my back. First he ran his palms up and down my spine then he moved out and reached around to my sides. As he moved up towards my shoulders, his hands touched the sides of my boobs. I don't think he was trying to get me aroused or anything, but I'll admit it felt good.

Next he did my low back and he reached down all the way to the top of my bikini bottoms. "Uhhhm, you have strong hands," I said. As I finished my sentence, I could feel his fingertips just pushing ever so slightly under the elastic in my bikini, but no further.

Then, he moved to my left foot and applied oil to my heel, my calf, behind my knee and he moved up my thigh. As he did the inside of my thigh, I thought I could feel his knuckles grazing my bikini where it covered my most strategic parts but, again, it didn't feel like anything he was trying to do. It didn't last long but it sure made me feel a little tingly.


My Brother, My Roommate, My Lover Ch. 02



I wrote the first installment of this story several years ago. It received numerous comments, many of them negative, because the story had an unhappy ending. The point of the story was to make readers think: while it is fine to have harmless fantasies, if you have any thought of actually pursuing a forbidden relationship with a family member, you must realize that such unions often end with devastation and terrible hurt.

Additionally, my recent contributions have been criticized for being too short, and for my improper use of the words "lay" and "lie." I have attempted to correct all of these problems with this continuation of my story about Ed and Lizi.

*****

The final events in the first chapter of this story occurred many years ago. I know that the end of that story sounded pathetic. I was in love with Ed but he moved away from Gainesville, fell in love with someone else - who just happened to be a great girl - and eventually started a family. The love of my life was lost forever and no one else ever measured up to the standards I had, because only one man could ever have my heart and that was my brother.

After Ed left Gainesville, I had three years of college ahead of me. I dated other guys (and no, I didn't hook up with any other girls.) There were a few guys who I actually liked and I had a sexual relationship with three of them. The sex was okay but it wasn't enough and none of the relationships lasted.

A year after Ed left college, he started law school. He was a good student and he had no problem graduating with honors. He got a job in Atlanta and I saw much less of him.

After I graduated, I moved back to Jacksonville and got a job working with the state. I lived with my parents for a while but I eventually bought a condo on the river. I dated a few guys and was even engaged to one but . . . well, it just felt like something was missing and I called off the engagement.

Two years ago, my parents called to invite me on a family vacation. My parents were renting a beach house in Charleston for a week. They had already invited Ed and his family and, of course, that invitation had been accepted. I really didn't want to be around Ed and his family for that long because each visit rekindled old feelings; there was no point in letting myself feel hurt again and again, but . . . sometimes, there isn't a gracious way to say 'no' and, being a traditional Southern woman, I always try to be gracious. I said 'yes.'

The vacation was set for May, just two months away. I bought a new bikini, hoping I could work on a tan while I was there. I also bought some new dresses, because Charleston has some wonderful restaurants and fun bars and clubs, and I hoped to experience some of the night life while I was there. I also knew that I needed to stay active and avoid any lengthy conversations with Ed, so I began planning sightseeing activities. I guess I'm just one of those women who enjoys planning for events almost as much as I enjoy the events themselves.

I could have flown to Charleston but I drove. I wanted to have my own car while I was there, just in case I felt the need to get away and be alone for a while.

When I arrived, I was almost overwhelmed by the beauty of the setting. The beach house was a huge four bedroom house. It wasn't old but it was designed in a Victorian style. It faced the beach and the sound of the surf was a constant source of relaxation.

There were three bedrooms on a row on a back hallway. My bedroom was in the middle, between Ed and Melanie's bedroom and the one their two kids, Ed, Jr. and Blair, were in. My parents' bedroom was on the other side of the house. I guess Ed didn't want his kids in an adjoining room listening if he and Melanie started making the bed springs squeak. Maybe he didn't think about what that might do to me. "What the fuck!" I thought to myself.

Despite my feelings about Ed, I think I did a good job of hiding my emotions and pretending that everything was normal. I arrived about 4:00 in the afternoon and, as soon as I got my suitcase unpacked, I helped Mom fix dinner and then I cleaned up the kitchen afterwards. Little Ed and Blair were only two and four years old (surprisingly, Ed and Melanie had waited nine years before starting their family) so they went to bed fairly early and it was just the five of us.

Dad had brought some tequila and we all started drinking margaritas and talking about what was happening in our lives. We were sitting on the back porch that looked out on the Atlantic Ocean and the weather was just perfect for the occasion. Our chairs were arranged in a circle and I was sitting next to Mom and across from Melanie and Ed.

I really liked Melanie. She was sweet, obviously very in love with Ed, and a wonderful mother to her sons. I could not have found a better wife for Ed, other than myself. As wonderful as she was, I resented the fact that she got in bed with Ed every night instead of me. And then I hated myself for resenting her when she had done absolutely nothing wrong. Sometimes, life sucks and there's nothing you can do about it.

Mom and Dad announced that they were ready for bed and I didn't want to stay up talking to Ed and Melanie, so I stood at the same time and started to say goodnight. Before I turned to go back in the house, Melanie said "I'm so glad you came up here, Lizi. I know you and Ed used to be much closer and I hope you guys can spend some time together and reconnect this week."

"Me, too," I responded lamely and then I quickly went inside and to my bedroom.

What did Melanie mean by that last comment? Certainly Ed hadn't told her that we had been lovers in college. If he had told her, she wouldn't have said that she wanted us to "reconnect." Maybe she just sensed the distance that I tried to keep between us and that made her feel uneasy. Whatever she meant, I knew I couldn't answer that question unless I talked either to her or Ed and I had no intention of doing that. Instead, I snuck into the kitchen, quietly and quickly fixed myself another margarita, and returned to my bedroom. My tequila 'sleeping pill' worked and I slept like a baby that night.

The next day, we went to Fort Sumter. I've always had an interest in history and, for a Southerner, there are few places as important as Fort Sumter. No, we are not all living in the past and we are not waiting for the South to rise again, but . . . the past is a part of who we are (that is true for all people, not just Southerners.) Anyway, in case you hadn't noticed, the South has risen again, but in a vastly different way. In any event, Fort Sumter was awesome, inspiring, entertaining, and a great distraction.

We finally returned to the beach house about 5:00 pm and Mom started some spaghetti sauce. I took a shower and lay down for a few minutes. It seems as if I had just closed my eyes when I heard a knock on the door and Dad's voice was telling me that dinner was ready.

The spaghetti was delicious but that was no surprise. My mom has always been a wonderful cook and she truly enjoyed preparing meals for others. After a salad, serving of spaghetti and meat sauce, and garlic bread, I was quite full. Apparently, not everyone felt the same way.

"Who wants to go get ice cream?" Dad asked, obviously directing his question at the kids.

"I do, I do," squealed Little Ed while Blair just smiled a big smile. Mom and Dad got ready to go and gathered the kids in their arms. As they were walking out, Melanie jumped up and said, "Hey, I think I'll go with you." She ran after them, leaving just Ed and me at the beach house.

This was what I had been hoping to avoid but, apparently, Melanie thought that Ed and I needed some time alone. While I am usually rather adept at camouflaging my feelings, I must not have done a very good job on this occasion.

"Lizi, I'm sorry if bein' alone with me makes you uncomfortable," Ed offered apologetically.

"Ed, you don't make me uncomfortable, but . . . No, that's a lie; you do make me feel uncomfortable. I guess we're long overdue for a talk we should have had many years ago."

"It's all my fault," Ed began. "I shouldn't have . . .."

I quickly interrupted him. "It isn't anyone's fault, Ed. We did what we did and nobody forced either of us to do it. I fell in love with you and you didn't fall in love with me. Maybe that's tragic but it's not anyone's fault."

"I'll agree with part of that. Nobody forced me to sleep with my sister. But you're wrong about me not lovin' you . . ."

"No," I interrupted again. "I didn't say you didn't love me. I said you didn't fall in love with me."

"I wasn't finished," Ed calmly replied. "Of course, I love you. I've loved you since we were little kids, but that's not what we're talkin' about. I wasn't very good at expressin' my feelin's back then and, to tell you the truth, I was a little bit freaked out about having an affair with my sister. If Mom and Dad had ever found out, it woulda killed 'em. If Melanie ever found out, she'd be devastated. If you and me lived on a deserted island, it'd be wonderful, natural, great, but . . . in the real world, the way most people see it, having a relationship with your sister makes you lower than trailer trash. I just wasn't ready for that and I didn't know what else to do, so I ran away to Atlanta . . . but I fell in love with you when we were in school together and it hurt inside when I left. Sometimes, when Melanie and I make love . . . I think about you. I know that sounds like a stupid country song, but I can't help it and it's the truth."

"I had no idea," was all I could find to say. What Ed had just told me made me feel good and bad at the same time. After hearing what he said, I didn't automatically feel better; I just felt different. I was reassured that Ed really had been in love with me, that I hadn't blown this up in my head to be something much bigger than it really was. It sounds trite to say this but I felt validated. That much felt good. But knowing that I had lost someone who truly loved me made it hurt even more - much more.

"We shoulda had this discussion before you left Gainesville. It's somethin' we shoulda decided together. If you had any respect for me, you shoulda talked to me about this," I said. The anger was obvious - or it should have been obvious - in my voice.

"You're right, Lizi. I shoulda talked to you. I didn't and I fucked up. Sayin' I'm sorry doesn't change anything and it's way too late to do anything about it now, but . . . I'm sorry. Lizi . . . I'm still in love with you; I really am! But . . . I love Melanie and I'd never do anything to hurt her and I have two boys and . . .."

"Yeah, I know. Hey, don't go thinkin' I have any stupid ideas in my head! The past is the past."

"Yeah, that's right, and you've gotta let go and move on," Ed responded.

"Well, maybe I oughta move on," I explained, "but that doesn't mean that my heart'll let me do that. And it's kinda hard to get over somebody who you see at every family gathering. The only thing I know for sure is that I'm gonna go take a long walk on the beach . . . alone. I don't need to see your face for a while. Understand?"

"If that's what you want . . .," Ed said as he meekly acceded to my demand for solitude.

I headed out towards the surf and then started walking down the beach. My thoughts were moving at 190 mph, travelling in circles like an insane dog chasing its own tail. All of a sudden, I had been informed that Ed still loved me, he thought about me when making love to his wife (think about what a weird "compliment" that is,) and my remote, slim-to-none, don't-even-want-to-admit-it hopes of eventually, possibly renewing a relationship with Ed had been dashed.

I wanted to walk for a hundred miles and then sleep for a week. The more I thought about it, the more agitated I became. Why the hell had Ed even bothered to tell me this stuff? This didn't help; at least, it didn't help me. Maybe saying what he did made him feel better but it was making me feel worse. Damn him. Damn him.

I walked for about an hour and then I turned around and headed back to the beach house. I hoped that everyone would be back and engaged in conversation and that I could just quietly sneak into my bedroom. Instead, when I arrived, the house was dark and the only car in the driveway was mine.

I went in the house and looked for Ed, Mom, Dad, Melanie, the boys, but no one was there. I looked for a note on the table or the counter but there was no note. I checked my cell phone for messages or missed calls but there weren't any. I walked out front to see if maybe the cars were parked on the street but they weren't there.

A gentleman was sitting on the front porch of the house next door and he saw me obviously looking for someone.

"Ma'am," he called out, "if you're lookin' for the fella that's stayin' there with you, there was a police car that came up here about an hour ago and he got in that car and left."

My life had already been turned upside down and now this latest twist suggested something even more ominous. "Thank you, sir," I said appreciatively but reflexively. I turned and walked back in to the house.

I dialed 911 and explained what I had just been told.

"What is your brother's name, ma'am?" the operator asked.

"Ed. Ed Walters."

"Oh, the Walters family. Ma'am, all I can tell you is that they were taken to East Cooper Hospital."

"Who was taken there? What's going on?" I pleaded for information.

"Ma'am, I don't know anything about who or what happened. All I know is that something happened and several family members were taken to East Cooper."

Fortunately, I had a GPS in my car and it recognized East Cooper and told me how to get there. I got there in a hurry, pulled into the parking lot, and ran into the emergency room.

I told the front desk lady that I was looking for the Walters family and she told me to wait there and she'd be back in just a minute. True to her word, she soon returned and motioned for me to follow her. We wound around through several corridors and eventually came to the surgery waiting room. I saw Ed sitting and he looked more distraught than I had ever seen him in my entire life.

As I approached him, he looked up and immediately started crying. A chaplain was seated next to him and introduced himself.

"Ms. Walters, I'm sorry to have to give you this awful news. There was a horrible accident. The car your family was in crossed the centerline and collided head-on with a semi. They told us that your mom and dad were killed instantly. Your sister was alive when paramedics arrived but she died en route to the hospital. Both of your nephews are in surgery but it doesn't look very good for them. I'm so terribly, terribly sorry."

I had already started crying as the chaplain was in the midst of telling me what had happened. Ed put his arms around me and we both sobbed. Both of our parents were dead. His wife was dead. His boys were in surgery but neither was expected to survive. Three hours ago, we were all sitting around the dining room table, eating spaghetti and talking about meaningless nonsense and now they were gone. 

I understood all the words the chaplain said but my mind just couldn't grasp the enormity of what had happened. The only thing I understood for sure was that my life, and Ed's life, had been changed in cataclysmic proportions. It was as if I was walking down the street and, all of a sudden, there's no ground under my feet and I'm falling through the air. To this day, whenever I remember something from my past, I always remember it as occurring either before or after this night, the most horrible night of my life.

When people say to me 'I know exactly how you feel,' I want to hit them in the mouth. I want to slap them 'up side the head', I want to scream so loud that they become deaf. No, you can't possibly know how I feel. Not unless you're Ed.

* * *

We later learned that Dad suffered a massive coronary event while driving back from the ice cream shop and the car had veered into oncoming traffic. They struck an 18-wheeler but, fortunately, the driver of the truck had not been injured. Mom and Dad had both been killed on impact. Based on the position of the bodies, it appeared that Melanie had released her seat belt and tried to place herself between the boys and the impact. Her injuries were fatal, but not immediately so; the paramedics said she had a pulse when they arrived but she never regained consciousness. Because the boys were in the back seat and had been cushioned by Melanie's body, they were slightly more protected and the difference was enough to prevent them from being killed by the initial impact. However, they had both suffered extensive internal injuries and both required surgery to give them any hope of survival but, even with the surgery, the odds were overwhelmingly against them.

Later that night, at 2:46 am, Little Ed died. About fifteen minutes later - actually, 3:03 am, according to the death certificate - Blair also entered the kingdom of little angels.

* * *

Ed and I stayed at the hospital long enough to sign all the forms and other papers that were generated by such tragic circumstances. A pair of police officers who earlier had been at the accident scene was still at the hospital; one of them graciously offered to drive us back to the beach house while the other followed in my car. I know it was all against their protocol and policies but they both had little kids at home and they were obviously shaken by the events they had witnessed.

The ride back to the beach seemed to take forever. When we finally arrived, we thanked the officers repeatedly and then they left.

Ed and I walked into the house but we didn't turn on the lights. We were both exhausted and we cried until we felt absolutely empty.

"I don't think I can fall asleep. I'm not sure I'll ever sleep again," Ed said.

"Yeah, I feel the same way, but . . . we gotta try to get some sleep. I'm sure we're gonna have a lot to do tomorrow . . . er, later today. Let's lay down and close our eyes."

"Okay. I'll sleep on the sofa. I can't sleep in the last bed where Melanie and I . . .," Ed broke off and started to cry again.

"Lie down in my bed and I'll hold you 'til you go to sleep," I responded.

We went to my bedroom and I set an alarm clock for 10 am. We both took off our shoes and lay down. We were on our sides, facing each other, and then Ed started crying once again.

"I feel so alone," he muttered. "I wish I was with 'em."

"I don't know why they're gone and we're still here, but you're not alone," I responded. I began very lightly rubbing his back, like I was soothing an infant. Many people have an instinct to say that everything is going to be alright, but the idea of saying that to someone who had just lost both parents, his wife, and his two children seemed idiotic. "You've got me and I've got you, so we're not alone."

In the empty darkness of the night, we both drifted off to sleep. At some point, I had a dream. In the dream, I was on the beach. Ed was in the distance and I was trying to run towards him but he was running away from me. When I turned to look behind me, a ball of fire was rolling across the sand, coming towards me much faster than I could run. Before it reached me, I woke with a startle. Ed was awake, lying in the same position as when we went to sleep, looking at me with an empty stare.

* * *

The next few days were hectic. We made arrangements for his wife's and children's bodies to be shipped to Atlanta. Mom and Dad's bodies were shipped home to Jacksonville. We decided to have the funeral in Atlanta first and then go to Jacksonville.

In Atlanta, I stayed at Ed's house, of course. Melanie's parents lived around Atlanta so we didn't need to provide lodging for any out-of-town family members. Nonetheless, we slept in separate bedrooms and we maintained a purely brother-sister relationship. I'm not a mind reader so I don't know what Ed was thinking but I am rather certain that he was so consumed by grief that he thought of nothing but his loss and the lives that had been tragically curtailed.




My Brother, My Roommate, My Lover Ch. 02



I will be bluntly honest with you, and with myself. After the accident, I thought about Ed in a sexual way - briefly - but it was like an insane, impulsive, unwelcome thought that intruded on all that I knew to be appropriate and proper. I realized that Ed was devastated and so was I. We certainly didn't need to do anything to add any confusion to the circumstances and, if we ever re-connected, I wanted to be sure that it was for the right reasons. So . . . I quickly banished any thoughts about being anything other than a supportive sister.

The funeral in Atlanta was massive. There must have been at least 500 people in attendance. I met so many people that I got tired of shaking hands and trying to think of things to say to strangers.

The wake at Ed's house seemed to last forever but, mercifully, it came to an end. When the last mourner left, we packed our suitcases and drove to Jacksonville. We had already made some arrangements by phone so we were able to have our parents' funeral two days later.

The funeral in Jacksonville was much like the one in Atlanta, except that the people in attendance were older. We received the same condolences, the same meaningless words that people offer when they don't know what to say, and I shook hands with another several hundred strangers.

We held the wake at Mom and Dad's house and at least these people knew not to stay too long. It was over within a few hours. At last, everything was concluded and Ed and I finally had some time to ourselves. As soon as I closed the front door and turned to face Ed, I started crying, and then he started crying. When you've cried so many tears, sooner or later it seems that you get to the end of the tears inside you and you just can't cry anymore until something inside gets recharged. So we both cried until we couldn't cry any more.

A few days later, we talked about handling the affairs. I had stayed in Jacksonville after college so it was logical for me to handle winding up the affairs for Mom and Dad. Ed had already announced his intention to return to Atlanta the next day and he planned to begin handling things for his wife and kids. Ed was saying that he didn't want to stay in the house he and Melanie had shared and he had no idea what he wanted to do. Fortunately, he was a partner at his law firm and he could take an extended leave because his partners were extremely nice and understanding people.

In the next week, I learned that Dad had a life insurance policy with a death benefit of $500,000 and Mom had a $100,000 policy. Their mortgage had been retired several years earlier and their home was worth approximately $350,000. The investment account and the death benefit from his pension added another $400,000 to the pot. Altogether, the assets which would be distributed to Ed and me totaled about $1,350,000.

Ed and I talked on the telephone every night. He had life insurance on Melanie and his mortgage life insurance covered both him and Melanie, so the mortgage had been paid off. Ed had decided - far too quickly, I warned him - to sell the house and to sell his interest in the law practice to his partners. He wanted to leave Atlanta and, as he said, the sooner, the better. He had no plan on where he wanted to go or what he wanted to do, but he was quite certain that he didn't want to stay in Atlanta.

I invited Ed to come back down to Jacksonville to stay with me but he politely declined the offer. Instead, he gave me a power of attorney to sell his house for him and he booked an around-the-world cruise. I expressed my concern to Ed and he responded to me in very candid terms.

"Look, we both know that both of us are depressed but you don't need to worry about me being suicidal. I'm sad and lonely, but I know that my life isn't over and I have enough faith in a guiding force to believe that I was left here for a reason. I just need some time alone. You might not hear from me for a while but that doesn't mean that I'm mad or upset with you or anything. I just need some time alone."

He gave me some instructions regarding a few pending matters in Atlanta that I might need to handle and then our telephone call ended. I received an e-mail the next, confirming some of the details he had given me about the sale of the house, and giving me his travel itinerary.

Now I felt alone. The one person in the world who might possibly understand me was gone.

* * *

I returned to my job as a microbiologist at the state department of health lab but I can't say that life returned to normal. When you lose both parents, a sister, and two nephews in one accident, life never returns to normal.

About four weeks later, my phone rang.

"Hey, Lizi. It's Ed. I just got back from my cruise," said the voice that I instantly recognized.

"Ed, it's so great to hear your voice. Where are you?" I asked.

"I'm down in Port Canaveral but I won't be here very long. Listen, we visited England and I got really intrigued by the fact that so many of our ancestors came from there but I know almost nothing about the country, so I've booked a flight to London that leaves tomorrow."

"What?" I said in a voice that clearly communicated my anger and disappointment.

"Lizi, I'm not ready to deal with anything here. You've gotta trust my instincts on this. I am not trying to abandon you and I certainly don't feel anything negative towards you. You've been great through all of this, and . . . well, I'm just not ready to face anything. I'm not sure how long I'll be in England but I'll stay in touch. I promise I'll call at least once a week, okay?"

I had no bargaining power in dealing with Ed, at least not on this subject, so of course I agreed. What else could I do?

We talked a bit longer and then said our goodbyes. Now I felt even more alone than before.

* * *

True to his word, Ed called one week later. He was travelling around England, stopping in small villages as well as some of the larger cities. I begged him to come home and he politely told me that he wasn't ready and he would let me know when that changed . . . so I took a hint and stopped bugging him about it.

After a few more weeks, Ed was in Blackpool. He had met some local attorneys who had encouraged him to study for admission to the English bar and he was considering the possibility. I was devastated . . . but I didn't say a word. I wanted to go visit him, but I had used all of my leave from my job.

The next week, Ed said that it would take him about six months to prepare for the bar exam. Six months! The only reason to spend six months preparing to take that bar exam was because Ed was apparently considering living in England on a permanent basis. It felt like I was losing my brother all over again. I might as well just lie down on the beach and let the waves carry me out to sea.

The following week, when Ed called, I didn't answer the phone. I was still hurt and shocked by the possibility of Ed moving to England. He tried calling again that night but I just couldn't bear the idea of talking with him; I had been abandoned by the only man I had ever loved, my last remaining family, my closest companion.

* * *

Ed sent several e-mails asking if everything was okay and I tried to explain that the distance, the loss, the abandonment, all of it just hurt me too much and I, too, needed time. He acquiesced to my request and the phone calls stopped.

I didn't hear from Ed for the next two years.

* * *

It was 3:00 pm on a Friday. Everyone else was looking forward to the weekend, but not me. I lived alone, I wasn't dating anyone at the time, and I actually looked forward to going to work every day. If I wasn't dating anyone (and my last date had been before the accident,) weekends were no fun for me. I had female friends but they were all married. I got invited to parties, cookouts, etc., but being the only single person at those events was awkward. I had nothing planned for the weekend.

I had an e-mail notification and looked at it, expecting to find some request for a lab report that was "urgently" needed. Instead, I saw that it was from Ed. I read his e-mail, his brief email, several times. "Lizi, I am here. Please meet me for dinner at 7:30 pm at La Mer at Ponte Vedra. Ed."

I am the eternal optimist. Perhaps I am like Charlie Brown, you know, 'come kick the football, Charlie Brown!' Maybe I was just setting myself up to get hurt once again, but I had hopes that Ed was home to stay and that we might finally be able to explore a relationship together. Enough time had passed. The grief was still present but the edges were not as sharp, it had somewhat receded out of the foreground and into the background. I was ready to move forward with my life. I hoped that Ed was, too.

I left work early and went home to get ready. Every girl has that little black dress that represents her desire to non-verbally communicate her seductiveness in an understated fashion, you know, sexy but not slutty. I have one of those dresses. It is a form fitting, sleeveless, silky thing that comes to about three inches above my knees. I also have pearls that compliment it perfectly. I still have my shape and, when I am dressed in my little black dress, I think I send a message: I am not some slut who you could ever fuck for a one night stand, but I am a classy lady and you would be lucky to make love to me. That was the look I wanted to project.

I arrived at La Mer promptly at 7:30. Actually, I arrived a little bit early, because it is a long drive from my house and I didn't want to take a chance on being late. I arrived early and then sat in the parking lot for ten minutes. I didn't want to appear over-eager, and . . . I was aware of the possibility that I was reading way too much into Ed's sudden appearance. And, sometimes, I tend to overthink things.

I entered the restaurant and the hostess informed me that Ed had called and said he would be about five minutes late. She then seated me at a table next to the window and I waited. I admired the ocean view and I pondered the possibility of buying a condo down here at the beach. At 7:35, Ed appeared.

"Well, hello stranger," I said. I stood and Ed gave me a hug and then a light kiss on the cheek.

"Hello, beautiful sister," Ed responded.

"I'm pleasantly surprised . . . and so glad to see you," I said. "It's been . . ."

"Two years," Ed interrupted, "two years, and that was enough time. Too long. It's great to see you, Lizi."

We made small talk and ordered a pre-dinner cocktail. I sipped on a Cosmo while Ed nursed a straight Scotch - Glen Livet. I wanted to ask Ed about his personal life and how he was doing with his grief but I also didn't want to push him on those subjects, so I let him control the direction of the conversation.

Ed had passed his bar exam and been working as a barrister in Blackpool. I was getting impatient with the small talk so I asked if he had time for a social life outside of work.

"Very little," he admitted. "I wasn't interested in dating at all for the first year and a half but then I started thinkin' about it. None of the ladies I met measured up to the standards I had, so, if you want me to just get to the answer you want to hear, I have not had a sexual partner in the past two years."

"Ed, I wasn't tryin' to pry," I began.

"No, no, no, you were tryin' to pry but that's okay. You're my sister and, once upon a time, you were my lover, so you're entitled to pry. And, anyway, I want to know the same thing about you. So, I could ask you seventeen questions all dancin' around the same subject, or you could just tell me."

"What?" I feigned innocence. "Oh, no, I haven't slept with anyone, and it's been longer than two years for me."

"So, tell me about your job," he said. Obviously, Ed wasn't ready to talk about intimate subjects.

We talked about my job, my dog, the neighborhood, my friends, and anything else that wasn't really important. Ed told me about his job, Blackpool, bland English food, and silly English customs and traditions. We continued our conversation after dinner arrived but the subjects remained rather innocuous.

We both passed on dessert and Ed paid the check. As we stood, he told me that he was staying at the hotel across the street from La Mer. I was hurt. Why in the world would he come to town and not stay with me?

Before I could become immersed in this latest slight and contemplate how hurtful this night might become, Ed said, "It's still kind of early and the beach here is beautiful. Would you like to go for a walk?"

"Sure," I said. Maybe I was a glutton for punishment but I had to know why Ed had returned to Jacksonville and, so far, I don't think he had really told me.

We walked around the restaurant and down a walkway to the sand. I took off my shoes and put them in my purse. We continued until we were close to the water and then we turned and headed south, walking side by side.

"Lizi, I'm sorry if I was a bit abrupt in our conversation. I thought about what might happen tonight, you know, tried to anticipate what might happen, and I thought I was ready, but . . . I don't know, when you were asking about me dating, it just . . ."

"Ed, I'm so sorry if you really felt that I was pryin', but you know . . .you absolutely know that I want to know. After all . . .." I trailed off, not sure of what I should say.

"You stopped answering my calls and then you didn't want to hear from me so I thought you were pissed off and maybe wanted to move on with your life, so . . .. I don't know what to think." As Ed finished his last sentence, he extended his hand towards me and I offered him my hand. We continued walking, hand in hand.

"It feels good, holding your hand," he said to me. I smiled.

He continued, "About a week ago, I had a dream. Actually, it was a nightmare. It was the accident again but, this time, you were in the car, too. And when I got to the hospital, they told me that you were dead, along with everybody else. That's when I woke up."

"I still get nightmares, too, sometimes, like I'm holdin' Mom's hand to keep her from fallin' over a cliff and then she loses her grip and I see her fallin'," I said, trying to offer some sign of empathy. 

'Usually, I wake up and curse the nightmares and wonder if they'll ever go away. But I didn't curse my nightmare this time. I realized that it was a sign . . . or maybe even a warning. Lizi, there's some things I've never told you before that you need to know. First, I loved Melanie, but I wasn't in love with her, and she knew it. Melanie was a wonderful wife and a wonderful mother and I loved her. She was a beautiful woman and I'm a fool for not feelin' more for her, but it always felt like there was something between us that just wasn't right. Melanie was very perceptive about those things and she knew something was up. I thought that she suspected something about the relationship between you and me and then she started askin' questions. I respected her too much to lie to her so I told her the truth. Her answer was that she liked me, she respected me, and she was in love with me, but she felt that she deserved to be loved by someone who felt the same passion for her, so . . .."

"But, at the beach house, you said that you had never told her," I interjected.

"I lied. I'm sorry, but I wanted to protect you. I didn't wanna make you feel awkward being around her," he paused, collecting his thoughts. "For the most part, we were contented and we both put on an act, especially when we were around the family. I felt guilty for marrying her because I knew she deserved more than what I gave her. Then, just a few weeks before the accident, Melanie told me that we either needed to start marriage counseling or she wanted a divorce. We had the two boys and I didn't want a divorce, I didn't want what a divorce would do to them, so I agreed to start counseling, but I knew that therapy would not cure me of the problem."

"What problem, Ed?"

"You, Lizi. You're the problem. That night at the beach house, I meant every word that I said to you. Back in college, I couldn't face the possibility of us having a life together because I thought that would mean a lifetime of being outcasts and I couldn't stand the idea of hurting Mom and Dad. So I ran away from you but I couldn't run away from my heart. You were the problem. When I had that nightmare last week, I realized that you could have been in that car and I wouldn't ever see you again. Or you could be in a car wreck tomorrow, or . . .. you never know when today is the last day for you or someone you love, so I finally realized that I needed to come back and tell you. Lizi, I love you and I am in love with you and I don't want to live without you. I know that I fucked up and I'm sorry. If I could go back and do it again, it'd be different." Ed had a look of expectation on his face. He was waiting for my reply and I took a few seconds to choose my words.

"I should slap you," I said. "You don't know how many times I've been hurt by you running away or ignoring me. I've wasted most of my life pining for you, longing for the unattainable, waitin' for somebody or something that I eventually realized would probably never happen. I should slap your head off and feed it to the crabs . . .," and then I softened my voice, "but I'm not gonna do that. When you love someone, you always find room in your heart for forgiveness so . . . if you're smart, you'll kiss me before I change my mind." I stood still, waiting for Ed to accept my invitation.

He stepped forward until he was at an intimate distance. "Lizi, if you will have me, I will never, ever run away again. Never." He then leaned down and placed his lips on mine. His arms pulled my body into his and his tongue pushed between my lips. Years of waiting for this moment had resulted in a pent up store of desire and I felt an urgent need to be with the love of my life. I wanted our bodies to be connected, I wanted to satisfy his passion and I wanted him to satisfy my lustful hunger.

We broke the kiss and Ed asked, "Can you spend the night with me?"

"I was hopin' you'd ask," I smiled at him.

"Do you need to go home to take care of your dog?" Ed asked.

"No, I dropped Jack at the vet's this morning for his annual shots. When I got your email, I called the vet and asked them to board him overnight."

"I'm glad," Ed answered. "I want you all to myself tonight."

We turned around and walked back to La Mer and then to the hotel where Ed had checked in.

"So why in the hell did you check in to a hotel when you could have stayed with me?" I asked.

"I wasn't sure you would even show up for dinner," Ed explained. "Invitin' myself to stay with you seemed a bit presumptuous, ma'am."

"Well, you can check out in the morning," I responded. "We'll spend the rest of the time at my place."

We took the elevator to the third floor and quickly found our way to Ed's room. He hung out the 'do not disturb' sign.

"Before we do anything, I need to make sure of one very big ground rule. You can pull my clothes off and do whatever you want to my body as long as we are behind a locked door and no one else is present. But . . . I am never sharing you with anyone else, never again. Not Clarissa, not anyone. Never. Agreed?"

"Well, Clarissa was a real hot girl," Ed started, obviously trying to tease me, but my facial expression told him that this was no time for perhaps well-intended but obviously misguided humor. "But, I want you all to myself and I don't need Clarissa or anyone else to make me feel like a man, so . . . agreed." He paused, then continued. "It's been a long time. As much as I want you, if you're not ready for this, we don't have to . . .."

As he started that sentence, I knew where he was going and it was utter nonsense. I had waited far too long for this moment and I wasn't about to wait any more. I knew how to bring an end to that discussion.




My Brother, My Roommate, My Lover Ch. 02



"Excuse me," I interrupted, "but can you help me with this zipper?" I turned so that my back was towards him. He reached up and pulled the zipper tab down to where it stopped just above my panties.

I allowed my dress to drop to the floor. I was wearing a slip but I was eager to have it hit the floor, also. "Take off my slip, Ed."

He reached down and grabbed the bottom of the slip and pulled it upwards. I raised my arms and Ed soon had it over my head and off.

Now I was just wearing my bra and panties. "I'm sure you remember that my boobs were kinda small when we were in college, well, actually, 34B, and they haven't grown any since then, so I hope you're not disappointed."

"Lizi, I remember your boobs like I remember how to ride a bike. I always thought that they were perfect. Just thinkin' about your boobs gives me a boner."

"Well, take my bra off and we'll see about your boner," I said. I again turned so that my back was towards Ed and he reached up my back and released the clasp on my bra.

The bra fell to the floor. Before I turned around, I said "I'm still kinda self-conscious about my little boobs, so . . .." I then turned and faced Ed.

His eyes immediately went to my chest. I'm not flat-chested but I do have small boobs. The one advantage of little boobs is that they don't sag so 'the girls' were standing up and doing themselves proud.

"Your nipples are already hard," Ed said, the master of the obvious. "I know two things that make a girl's nipples get hard. One is cold air and the other is being aroused. It doesn't feel very cold in here so I'm guessin' you're already aroused."

"Well, the only way to know for sure if a girl is aroused is to check her to see if she's wet," I teased Ed. "And if you want to know if I'm wet, you'll have to check for yourself."

"Okay, let me see," Ed said as a preface to his explorations. He placed the palm of his right hand on my abdomen with his fingers pointed downward. He then slid his hand down, pushing in so that his fingers slid under the elastic of my panties. I felt his fingers approaching my pussy and I knew I was already very wet.

He stopped when his finger tip reached my clit. He rubbed it in tiny circles for a few seconds and then he again lowered his hand until it reached the entrance to my love canal. He bent over and placed his lips on my right nipple and started licking as he pushed his digit into my waiting orifice.

I have masturbated quite often during my adult life. I've used my fingers and sometimes I've used vibrators and sometimes I've used dildos but nothing - no, nothing - had ever felt as good as Ed's finger in my pussy. He started moving his finger in and out in slow little motions, lightly brushing over my G-spot. The licking on my nipple changed to sucking and my boob felt like it was full of electricity, like it was connected directly to my vagina.

"Mmmm, Ed, you're gonna make your little sister cum if you keep doin' that."

He stopped sucking long enough to say, "then I'm gonna keep doin' it," and then he returned to sucking my nipple and rubbing my G-spot. It didn't take long for me to feel an orgasm approaching. I had a full feeling, as if I needed to pee, with an overwhelming, urgent need to feel this tension released.

Suddenly, I knew that I would cum in about two seconds. "Oh, Ed, oh . . ."

The muscles of my pussy began contracting and relaxing in pulses that were synchronized with the thrusting movements in my pelvis. I opened my eyes long enough to see a smile on Ed's face and I started laughing with joy. "Oh, gawd, that feels so good."

"Do you need to get up early tomorrow morning?" I asked.

"No. Why?" was Ed's brief reply.

""Cause I'm not gonna let you stop 'til you fuck every hole I've got," I answered. "But first, I'm gonna start with takin' off your clothes."

It didn't take long for me to get Ed's clothes off of his body and into a pile on the floor. His body was a little bit older but it hadn't changed much. Ed wasn't a gym rat and he didn't have a six-pack, but he wasn't overweight, either. His chest was covered in a fine hair that wasn't so thick that he looked like a gorilla. And his hard dick was extended to its full 5½ inches.

Let me say this to you guys. Y'all are as sensitive about your dick size as girls are about their boobs. Most guys aren't hung like horses or porn stars. I've seen a few dicks and my girlfriends and I have compared notes on several occasions. I consider anything bigger than 6" to be a big one. I hadn't seen a dick shorter than 5" when it was erect, though one guy had a dick that shrank to about 2" or less when it was flaccid but, get him going, and it quickly swelled to 6". Amazing differences but they all felt good and I didn't think that bigger dicks were any better than smaller dicks. In fact, I would have been afraid to let a guy near me if his dick was 9" long. Plus, if a guy doesn't have a big dick, you can get more of it in your mouth and that seems to make guys happy. So, guys, you shouldn't be worried about the size of your dick.

Anyway, Ed had an average dick, but I know how he used it. He used it well, very well. And I wanted to feel it in me, everywhere.

We got in bed and I lay on my side, facing him. "Baby, I don't need any foreplay. I'm wet and I need you in me."

Ed got on top of me, between my legs, and I reached down and stroked his manhood as I guided it towards my pussy. I felt the tip of his dick pushing my lips aside and I thrust my hips up suddenly, forcing him in me.

"Fuck me, big brother, fuck your little sister hard!" I demanded. Ed responded by beginning to thrust in and out of my wet hole. "Harder, Ed, fuck me hard," I insisted.

Ed started ramming his dick deep inside me. I felt our pelvises collide and it's what I needed. Ed's chest hair was rubbing my hard nipples and it felt so good. I knew I wouldn't last long.

"Don't stop 'til you cum in me. My little pussy needs your cum." I don't know where these words were coming from but I heard them coming out of my mouth. Years of sexual frustration were apparently being released in a torrent. 

Ed was grunting and he was getting louder. "Please cum in me!" I begged.

"I'm so close," he said. "So close . . . I'm gonna . . .here it comes!"

A few seconds later, I felt the pulsing in Ed's dick and I felt his hot semen filling the voids in my vaginal orifice. My pussy started contracting and I became acutely aware of Ed's dick grazing my G-spot. My nipples were so hard and so sensitive, every touch made them feel like they were filled with electricity. I started my orgasm before Ed's was over and my pussy squeezed as if it was milking Ed's dick.

"Ed, I might be actin' like a bitch in heat but this is more than just lust. I've missed you for so long and nobody's ever made me feel good like you did . . . and still do. I still wanna hold hands and take walks on the beach and grow old together but, tonight, I need you to fuck my brains out."

I started to get up and Ed asked, "where you goin'?"

"I'm gonna clean up for you, 'cause the next thing I want is for you to lick my pussy while I suck your sausage!"

Ed laughed and promised to oblige. A few minutes later, I was on top of him with his dick in my mouth and his tongue giving my pussy a bath. 

I will confess that giving a blow job is not my favorite thing in the world. I don't hate it, but it doesn't get me aroused, either. I do it to make a man happy and I do it in hopes that the man will return the favor, because I really enjoy receiving oral sex. The orgasms I have from oral sex are just as strong as the orgasms I have from having man meat in my love hole. The absolute best way to make sure that I get what I want is to get on top for a 69.

Ed was sucking and licking my clit like a hungry baby sucking on momma's nipple. At the same time, he had his right index finger in my cunt and the combination had me wanting to cum again. I was working my mouth up and down his pole while my right hand fondled his balls. My right pinkie brushed against his anus and I felt his entire body arch upward.

I stopped sucking long enough to ask, "Oh, does that get you goin'?

"Hell, yeah," he replied. "How about you?"

I felt Ed's left hand sliding down from the small of my back and into the crack of my behind. Suddenly, he extended his fingers and I felt a fingertip directly on my asshole. It felt so good, I wanted to feel his finger inside of me back there.

"More!" I said.

Ed needed no further encouragement. His fingertip lifted away briefly and, when it returned, it was wet. I felt like I would immediately cum, but I didn't. I pushed my pussy into his face harder and thrust back, trying to get his finger inside me. I felt him pushing against my pucker and then it broke through.

I don't know how much of his finger was in my ass but it felt really, really good. If you've never had anal sex, you might think this is disgusting but . . . the only people who think that are the ones who never tried it, or the ones who tried it once with the wrong guy.

If you don't relax your sphincter, anal sex can hurt. But if you do relax, there's nothing that compares to it. I trusted my partner absolutely and I was relaxed.

"I don't wanna wait, Ed. Fuck me back there . . . now!"

I got off of Ed and he reached over to an overnight bag and pulled out a bottle of lube.

"So, you brought some lube 'cause you were expectin' to have sex with me, did ya?" I asked.

"No, I brought lube 'cause I was hopin' to have sex with ya," Ed replied.

I got on my knees and bent down so that my shoulders were almost on the mattress.

"I love the view," said Ed, who was standing behind me. "You're so damn sexy!"

Ed put some lube on the tip of his finger and placed it at the entrance to my forbidden channel. It took very little effort for him to penetrate my anus and the feel of my sphincter being pushed aside was something that words can't describe. I felt nasty, I felt dirty, I felt like I was lower than a common whore, but I wanted it. I wanted is desperately and I wanted more.

"I'm ready for it, Ed. Do me!"

I felt his finger pulling out of me and then the tip of his dick was rubbing against my pucker. He rubbed his dick around my hole and then, suddenly, he plunged inside of me. Ordinarily, what he did would have been way too fast and it might have even hurt, but not this time. I was ready and I needed it and I wanted to feel that sense of fullness.

He started thrusting in and out of me and I knew I wouldn't last long. When a guy has his dick in a girl's ass, she feels it in her pussy. Obviously, it's not really in your pussy, but it feels like it is. I have had some very intense orgasms from anal intercourse and I knew this would be one of them. I don't prefer anal to vaginal or oral sex, but it is certainly something that has spiced up my love life from time to time.

Ed had his hands on my hips. I reached back and pulled his right hand towards my chest. "Play with my little boobs, Ed!" He began rolling my nipple between his thumb and index finger. I was hard before he started that, but I became even harder and it felt like my nipple had turned to stone. 

"You feel so big in me," I said. "I need you to cum in your little sister's ass."

Ed was grunting and I could tell that he was close. I reached back between my legs and fondled his balls with my fingers. As soon as I did that, he started to cum.

"You're so fuckin' tight! Oh, yeah, here it is! I'm cummin' in your ass!"

I could feel Ed's dick pulse with each blast of cum. I could feel the warmth of his cum in the chamber of my bowels. My pussy was throbbing and my body was seized with paroxysms of passion.

"Oh, gawd, that feels so good it hurts," I said.

"I don't think I've ever cum that hard in my entire life," Ed replied. "If you're gonna want that every night, I'll need to start taking vitamins or somethin'."

Ed pulled out and we both collapsed on the bed. "You're so fuckin' hot!" Ed said. "But, it's not just the sex . . . which, by the way, is just as hot as I remembered it. I need you in my life, but not just now. We can't get married but we can make promises to each other."

I looked at Ed and held my finger to my lips, indicating that he should be quiet. "We need to get some sleep, Ed. We've got the rest of our lives to talk about this."

"The rest of our lives . . .. Sounds good to me," he replied.

I drifted off to sleep feeling contented. Even though I was in a strange hotel room, I finally felt that I was at home.



My Brother, My Roommate, My Lover



He repeated the process on my right leg but I didn't feel any knuckles against my bikini this time.

"All done," he said as he returned to his lounge chair.

"Do you want me to do you," I asked.

"No, I don't need it," he responded.

I felt a bit disappointed and, as soon as I realized what I was feeling, I chastised myself for my reaction. 'Ed's my brother,' I reminded myself.

The heat and the excitement of the move had me exhausted and I fell asleep for a while. When I woke up, Ed was shaking my shoulder.

"Hey, you need to get out of the sun. Too much too fast and you'll burn for sure," he said.

As I came out of my fog, I realized that I had turned over in my sleep and my boobs were exposed to all the world . . . or at least to Ed. I hadn't been planning that, at least not that quick. I had thought 'maybe eventually and that would be cool,' but I wasn't planning on it the first day in our new home.

Ed could see that I felt a little bit embarrassed as I awoke to the realization that I had been exposing my boobs to my brother. "Don't worry 'bout it," he said. "You said you were gonna work on an all over tan and, besides, you have really beautiful tits."

When he said that, I felt a wave of something come over me and I realized that my nipples were getting hard. 'Oh shit,' I thought. 'My brother is gonna think that I'm the weirdo now.' Then I saw what looked like a little bit of a bulge in his swimsuit and I felt a little less self-conscious and a bit more turned on. 'What's wrong with me?' I asked myself.

"In a few days, you won't think anything about it," Ed said. Maybe he was right but it sure felt a little weird at the time.

When we went inside, Ed let me take a shower first. The warm water felt good and it had me relaxed. Ed knocked on the door to tell me not to use all of the hot water, so I got out and let him have his turn. I put on a light-weight robe. 

Ed wasn't in the shower very long and when he left the bathroom, he was wearing just his boxers. I looked up as he was walking out of the bathroom and I guess he saw the surprise on my face.

"Hey, I told ya this is how I normally lounge around when I'm by myself."

"Well . . . that's cool. . .."

"Look, I'm your brother, not some monster you need to be afraid of. You're safe here. I'm not gonna attack you just 'cause I'm in my undies. And Mom's not here. Hey, if you wanna walk around here in your underwear, go for it. Hey, you can walk around here naked if you want; I don't care."

"That's very big of you, brother," I teased him.

Sensing that I was joking with him, he joined in. Looking down at the boner in his britches, he replied, "yeah, that is big of me, isn't it?"

We both laughed and then I said, "well, I guess it would be just like it used to be at home. We used to walk around in our undies all the time, until you started gettin' boners."

"Well, I'm your brother but I'm also a man, and you are a good lookin' woman!" Ed said in his defense, but there was really no need to defend himself.

"Yeah, Ed, thanks, but you were gettin' boners when I was 9 years old," I teased him.

"Well, you were a good lookin' girl," Ed retorted.

"I'm flattered," I said. "Feel free to flatter me whenever you want."

Ed looked down at his crotch again. "That thing has a mind of its own. Listen, if that bothers you, ya know, I don't wanna make it a big deal. I mean, I can't help gettin' a boner; I get turned on seein' tits, even my sisters' tits, but I'm not gonna attack my sister, ya know. But, if it feels weird, you don't have to walk around naked or whatever."

"No, no, it's not you. It's just me. I'm just tryin' to make myself be a little less inhibited and come out of my shell. Ya know, I'm in college now and I can't keep bein' a little girl. But . . . it'll just take some time," I explained.

"Do whatever you're comfortable with," Ed said, obviously sympathetic to my feelings.

Now I felt even more weird, like, if I didn't do something, Ed would think maybe I didn't trust him. I put on a thong and a long t-shirt that just covered my behind. I felt like it would cover me pretty much but if I flashed a little bit, maybe I'd get over being so uptight about it. And at least Ed wouldn't think I was a total uptight freak.

I went to the kitchen and started fixing something for dinner. I was standing at the stove when Ed came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. "I'm gonna love livin' with you," he said. "What's for dinner?"

It felt like there was a bit of a bulge pressing against my ass and I instantly felt a little wet between the legs. It was kinda weird being turned on by my brother but, I'm not just his sister, I'm a woman, too. I had never had the experience before but feeling a dick against my behind was a turn-on. I didn't want Ed to think I was a nut so I ignored it.

"Just cookin' up a little spaghetti," I answered, "and it's about time to start the pasta." I bent over to reach for the pasta that was in a lower cabinet. I guess my t-shirt came up a bit and exposed my ass, because I turned to say something to Ed and saw that his eyes had apparently been glued to my behind.

"See something you like, mister?" I teased him.

"Well, what I saw looks fine to this mister, sister. Lookin' fine."

I really was eating up the attention, even if it was my own brother. "Can you get us a bottle of wine to have with the s'ghetti?" I asked in my little sister voice.

"Yeah, I'll have to run up to the Get 'N Go to grab some. I'm guessin' that Mom didn't buy any wine to leave with us, right?"

"Lucky guess, dork. Run get the wine and dinner'll be ready when you get back."

Ed threw on some clothes and jumped in his car. He wasn't gone long but, true to my word, dinner was ready when he walked in.

He opened a bottle of red wine and poured me a large glass. I had only drank wine once before and it didn't seem to be very strong so I started drinking it like it was iced tea.

"Hey, better not drink too fast. It'll hit you hard," Ed warned. I tried to slow down but we continued eating and talking and laughing and listening to music. I felt good -- relaxed - for the first time since leaving home. My brother is really a nice guy, I trust him, and he's never been too hung up to enjoy life. I felt lucky to have him to depend on.

Like I said, I had slowed down on the wine but by the time dinner was over, I had drank three glasses. I'm not much of a drinker so I was feeling a bit tipsy.

I stood up to start clearing the table and then it happened. I don't have a weak stomach but I guess three glasses of wine on top of all the excitement and the sun that day were too much. I lost my cookies, tossed lunch, called Ralph; whatever you wanna call it, I threw up. It wasn't a lot, but it doesn't take much puke to make your boobs smell really disgusting, especially when the puke has fresh chunks of s'ghetti in it. I sat back in my seat and lowered my head into my hands.

You've gotta understand that I had vomit on my t-shirt, on my chest, down my stomach and even on my thong. "Oh, fuck me," I said with slightly slurred disgust.

"Well, since you're a virgin, that would be a first," Ed joked. "Hey, don't worry about it. We'll get you cleaned up and put you in bed and you'll be good as new in the morning. First, let's get you somethin' to drink to get that nasty taste outta your mouth." Ed poured a glass of water and I took a few sips. Yeah, that was better; nothing tastes worse that vomit in your mouth. I wasn't drunk but I was damned tipsy.

"You probably need to get in the shower to get all that stuff off," Ed suggested. I stood up to go to the bathroom but I wasn't very steady on my feet and Ed saw that I needed help. He rushed to my side and put his arm around my waist to steady me.

We walked to the bathroom and I sat down on the toilet.

"Uh, I'm not tryin' to embarrass ya, but . . . can ya handle this or do ya need some help?" Ed asked.

"I think I can get it," I said and I tried to stand up but didn't get far before I was again sitting on the toilet.

"Okay, let's get the t-shirt off," Ed said. He grabbed the bottom of the shirt and pulled it up and over my head. There I was, drunk, sitting on the toilet in just my puke-stained thong with my brother trying to help me. I started crying.

"I'm such a fuck up," I complained. "I can't even drink some wine without losin' it and now, here I am with my boobs on display for my brother."

"Hey, hey, hey, you are not a fuck up," Ed jumped in. "You don't have much experience drinkin' and it's been a long day; anyway, I saw your boobs earlier, so it's not a big deal. Well, wait a minute. I don't mean your boobs aren't a big deal, because they're some really tasty lookin' boobs."

"They're tiny tits," I said with disgust. "Mark used to called me the chairman of the itty bitty titty committee."

"Well, then, he's an asshole, because they're not tiny, but . . . you're tight . . . they're not real big. But . . . ya know what? Not every guy likes big tits. Some guys -- like me -- prefer cute, firm, perky tits. And you definitely have cute, firm, perky . . ."

"I have to pee," I blurted out.

"Okay, then we'll help you pee," Ed responded. "Put your hands around my neck and hold on."

I did what I was told.

"Now, hold on tight while I lift up a little. We gotta get your thong down."

I didn't think about the fact that Ed was about to see my naked pussy. All I thought about was that I needed to pee. I did what I was told.

Ed reached down and got his fingers under the elastic on both sides of my thong and it was down around my thighs in an instant. I sat back down.

Ed got down on his knees in front of me and he lifted up my legs, one at a time, while he continued pulling my thong down. In just a few seconds, my thong was on the floor and my entire naked body was on display for my brother.

"I like girls that shave," Ed said. Obviously, he had already had a look at my pussy and realized that, like some other girls my age, I preferred to shave my pubic hair. "It's very sexy. It looks so . . . innocent, young, pure . . . and absolutely fuckable."

"You mean I look like a little girl and maybe you'd like to fuck a little girl. Thanks." Even if it was my brother and it was a totally fucked up situation, I didn't want anyone telling me that I look like a little girl.

"No, of course you don't look like a little girl. You're a woman now. But the shaved pussy and perky tits would make most guys feel like they were with a hot cheerleader-type high school girl . . . and some guys are real turned on by that."

"Does that turn you on?" I asked, not thinking about the potential for embarrassing my brother.

"If you weren't my little sister, I'd jump on your bones right now," Ed replied. "You are 100 percent absolutely cute, pretty, beautiful, innocent, and fuckable and I have a boner right now all because of you."

I might have been totally freaked out by this situation if I wasn't drunk, but I was . . . drunk -- maybe not drunk but at least tipsy - and I didn't care.

After an awkward silence, Ed got back on task. "Okay, hold on again. We've gotta get the toilet seat up."

I'm a good little girl and I do what I'm told, so I held on and stood up while Ed raised the toilet seat. I sat back down and almost instantly began peeing.

"Don't look," I said, as if Ed seeing me pee would be worse than everything that happened so far.

"Right," said Ed, but I could tell that he was looking between my legs. I felt real nasty to be letting my brother see my pussy while I was peeing, but I didn't care. 

I needed to pee and I peed. I needed help and he helped me. "Okay, you can look," I said, as if Ed wouldn't look unless I gave him permission. "You've already seen where the pee comes out." 

"I've never watched a girl pee before. Very educational," he said. "Need a hand?"

"Huh?" I responded from my confused condition.

"Ya gonna wipe up? My understanding is chicks don't just shake it a few times like guys do."

"Oh . . . uhh . . ." I reached towards the toilet paper but missed.

"Okay," Ed acknowledged as he grasped the extent of my inebriation. He reached for the toilet paper and pulled off three or four sheets. He folded them and then reached down between my legs and wiped the pee from my pussy lips. My pussy felt tingly.

Only two other guys have ever touched my pussy. Mark and Dr. Wasson. Actually, Mark had just touched my panties covering my pussy but he had never seen or touched my naked pussy. Dr. Wasson had been my pussy but he was wearing gloves when he performed my exam, so I guess Ed had already gotten further than any other guy. And, when he touched me, I felt my legs reflexively start to clench together.

"Easy," said Ed. "I'm just tryin' to clean you up." Ed looked up as he said this and his lips were just a few inches from mine. I had this insane impulse to bend forward and kiss him but, even in my condition, I knew that would probably be a stupid thing to do.

What I couldn't control was my nipples getting hard. Since my boobs were practically in Ed's face, it was obvious to him, too.

"Alright," he said, "nipples hard and wet between the legs." Ed laughed. "Guess I'll have to keep plenty of that wine on hand."

"I can't help it," I explained. "If you play with my pussy, my nipples'll get hard." I couldn't believe that I had just said something about "my pussy" to my brother, but I was drunk.

"I wasn't really playin' with your pussy. I could show you the difference, if you'd like. And you probably would like. But . . . well, I guess it's just like me gettin' a boner," he replied.

"You got a boner now?" I asked. Ordinarily, I might have checked it out for myself to see if Ed had a boner, but I would never have asked him. But, being a bit drunk -- or tipsy - I didn't care.

"I already told you I did. Your naked tits and pussy are right in front of me and you are a fine lookin' woman. I told you before that you're a fine lookin' woman and I am a man who hasn't had sex in a few months." He paused and I thought he was searching for something more to say. Instead, he reached over and started running water into the bathtub.

"It'll be easier to give you a bath than a shower," Ed explained.

"Okay," I replied. I paused for a minute. It was like someone . . . or something . . . had taken over me, because I said something that shocked even me.

"You gonna wash me all over?" I asked, obviously hoping for an affirmative answer.

"Is that what you want?" Ed asked.

"Well, you've already seen my boobs and my pussy and . . . I threw up on my panties and I don't wanna smell like puke," I explained.

"Me neither," said Ed. I was oblivious to his half-hearted attempt at humor.

He started the bath water running, then turned and motioned for me to get in the bathtub.

"I might need some help," I explained. He helped me up and I stepped over the side of the bath tub.

"Hold on to the tub as you sit down," he directed and, as I said before, I was simply doing what I was told.

Ed grabbed a wash cloth, got it soapy, and started washing my back.

"Umm . . . that feels good," I said. There wasn't too much water in the tub yet and he reached down to my butt as he was washing my back. "Oh, yeah!" I said with a teasing tone in my voice. I was horny, I was drunk, and I realized that I had always had a crush on Ed. I didn't know what he might do to me in my condition and, at that moment, I didn't care.

"You like that, huh?" Ed asked.

"Yeah, it felt good," I said in a matter-of-fact voice.

"We've . . . uhh . . . we've talked about sex before and you told me you were still a virgin but that just meant that you never let Mark put his pecker in your pussy, right?"

"Yeah, we did a few things, but we never went that far," I explained. I didn't want to seem like a total dork to my brother who just happened to be looking at my naked body as we were having this conversation.

"So, you gave him hand jobs and blow jobs and he felt you up a few times, is that it?" Ed asked.

"Yeah, pretty much . . .. You mean he felt my boobs?"

"No, felt you up, like between the legs."

"Well, yeah, he did that once and I came so hard I thought I had pissed in my panties," I said.

"Sounds like an intense orgasm. Was it the hardest you ever came?"

"It's the hardest I ever came when somebody else was touchin' me," I replied.

"So you've come harder when you were doin' yourself?" Ed asked. Initially, I didn't respond.

"If I start talkin' 'bout masturbation, you'll probably be askin' for a demonstration," I finally said.

"So, did you guys ever have anal sex?" Ed asked as nonchalantly as if he was talking about leftover milk in the refrigerator.

"No," I replied very quickly. "Uhh . . . what is it, anyway?" At that time, I had never heard of anal sex so I guess that meant I must've never had anal sex, but I was curious. How could you have sex in your butt?

"Jeez Louise you're so fuckin' innocent it's incredible," Ed exclaimed. "Anal sex is when a guy sticks his dick in your butthole and goes in and out 'til he cums."

"I'm supposed to let a guy come in the place where I go to the bathroom and that's supposed to feel good?" I asked. It sounded gross. Holy cow, I thought, that's where my turds comes out!

"Well," Ed explained, "I never had a girl complain about it."

"So, you've done it? How'd you get the girl to agree to do it?" I questioned him. "It seems like it would be too scary . . .."

"Well, you know how you said it felt good a minute ago when I was washin' your back and I washed your butt?" Ed began.

"Yeah."

"Well, actually, I only did it once. We were doin' 69 and she was moanin' and getting close to cummin'. I start playin' with her ass and I gradually put my fingers in her crack and start touchin' her hole back there. I saw it in some porn once. So she started moanin' even louder. Then I licked my finger and pushed it in her hole and she really started moanin'. After I ate her pussy, I rolled her over on her stomach and gave her a rim job . . ."

"A rim job," I said, obviously needing an explanation.

"That's when you tongue a girl's asshole. She didn't complain and she even asked for it the next time we were together."

"Really!?" I wondered out loud. "Isn't that kind of nasty?"

"Not if you make sure she's real clean first. Like we're gettin' you clean right now. I'll bet you'd be beggin' for it if I started playin' with you," Ed said. His tone was something between a brag, a tease, and a dare.

"I doubt it," I replied, not wanting to let Ed think that he had me all figured out. And I certainly didn't want him to know that I had any sexual desire for him. "Besides, you'll never be lickin' my pussy so you'll never have the chance to do any explorin'."

While this conversation had been progressing, Ed had not stopped washing me. He had been washing my sides and my belly. As I finished my last sentence, Ed moved up and started moving the soapy cloth over my boobs. I really had puked all over myself, but I think Ed was giving my boobs more attention than they really needed.

"I guess you like that," Ed said as he looked down at my boobs. My nipples had gotten hard and were standing straight out. What wasn't visible to Ed was how tingly I felt in my pussy.

"Of course it felt good," I explained. "I'm your sister but I'm also a girl, and you're a good lookin' guy! Besides, those things have a mind of their own."

"Touché," Ed acknowledged. "So, you think I'm good lookin', do ya?"

"Of course I do. Guys can be such dorks! Let's get finished so we can get in bed."

"Okay, can you stand up so I can finish you?" Ed asked.

I didn't reply; I simply started to stand.

"Here, let me help ya," Ed offered and he reached out to make sure I was steady on my feet.




My Brother, My Roommate, My Lover



"Okay, turn around so I can get the back of your legs first."

Of course I turned around. Ed got down on his knees. I felt the wash cloth around my left ankle, sliding up towards my knee and then beyond. Ed reached between my legs and gently pushed, indicating that he wanted me to spread my legs a bit.

"I've gotta get the inside of your legs," Ed offered with a feigned innocence that I didn't really believe. As he pushed the wash cloth up the inside of my left thigh, I felt his knuckles grazing the bottom of my ass and the cloth against my very naked and very exposed pussy. On one level, I absolutely couldn't believe that I was totally naked, standing before my brother, and he had his hands on my naked body. I should have felt ashamed but I didn't. Instinctively, I bent forward so that my pussy moved back slightly and stroked his cloth-covered hand.

"Do the other one," I instructed, wanting him to wash my other leg. Ed began at my right ankle and gradually reached my thigh. Again, I felt his bare knuckles on my ass and I almost buzzed as he made contact with my virgin pussy. As I again bent forward, I could feel Ed moving slightly forward so that the wash cloth reached my clit. I didn't know where this was going but I didn't want it to stop.

"We've gotta make sure you're clean all over," Ed said as I felt the wash cloth moving up my butt crack and across my most private hole. Ed had seen almost every square inch of my body at that point but at least my asshole had been kept private. I know that this will make me sound like an absolute slut but, at that moment I wanted him to see me back there. I felt so naughty and absolutely wicked and I wanted to feel even more naughty.

"There, all clean," he said.

"Are you sure?" I asked coyly.

"Well, I can check," he replied. I heard the wash cloth drop and then I felt his hands on my butt cheeks. If I hadn't been drunk, I'm sure I would've cum right then and there. His hands pulled my butt cheeks apart and I knew he was checking me out. It would only take a second to know that I was clean but he looked for what seemed like forever.

"Wow, you shave back there, too" he said. He slid his right hand so that his thumb was now reaching down into my crack. He moved his thumb so that it stroked the edge of my hole and I moved backwards so that his thumb pushed into my butt ever so slightly.

"Uh huh," he said. I knew what he was referring to. Obviously, I was enjoying the sensation like whatever other girl he had done this to in the past.

"I don't know what you are talkin' about," I declared. "Now wash my front."

I turned around and my pussy was just about six inches from his face.

"Hello," he said, addressing my pussy rather than me. "I hope you aren't feelin' too lonely."

Ed quickly washed the front of my legs, again starting at my ankles and moving upward. As he finished my right leg, he immediately returned to my left ankle. Maybe the fun's over, I thought, but I was wrong.

When Ed reached the top of my left leg, he stood up, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "there's just one more part to wash." I heard the wash cloth drop from his hand and then felt his finger tip at the bottom of my slit. He slowly raised his finger tip and he exerted some pressure, just enough to part my lips without his finger sliding completely inside me. As he reached my clit, I said "don't start unless you're gonna finish."

"That's completely up to you," he responded as he continued tracing little circles around my clit. The he paused and added, "ya know, I'm your brother and I shouldn't be doin' this."

"And I'm your sister and I shouldn't be lettin' you do this, even if I am a bit tipsy . . . but I don't want you to stop."

Ed leaned towards me and I felt his lips touch mine, briefly, and then they parted. As he whispered, I could feel his breath on my lips. "Lizi, I've always had a crush on you, and I'd love to make love with you, ya know, to be your first, but I really shouldn't be doin' this, especially since you're drunk. I don't know if you're lonely, scared, horny, or you really have the hots for me, but I'd like to think that it would mean somethin' more than just gettin' over that thing about bein' a virgin."

He turned and grabbed a towel, bent down and started the tub draining, and then started drying me. First he did my back and then my front, and even though he dried my boobs, it wasn't a sexual touching at all. I leaned against the wall and put my leg on the side of the tub. He dried it carefully and thoroughly but that's all he did. Then I stepped out of the tub, leaving my other foot on the side of the tub so he could also dry that.

"I guess we need to find you somethin' to sleep in," Ed said.

"Don't bother," I replied. "I started sleepin' naked about a year ago. Ya know, I always slept with my bedroom door open and I was sleepin' in just my panties and a short shirt. I think Mom caught Dad with a boner after he saw me in bed, so she suggested that maybe I needed more privacy. Once I was sleepin' with my bedroom door shut, I figured I might as well sleep naked."

"Okay, well, you can sleep naked as a jaybird. I usually sleep in just my undies . . . unless I'm sharin' the bed with someone special."

We walked out of the bathroom and Ed put his arm around my waist. I reached over and put my arm around him. As we approached my bedroom door, I sighed. I was really enjoying the attention from Ed and I didn't want it to end.

"It's 11:00 o'clock, sweetie. I think I'm gonna hit the rack," Ed said as he led me into my bedroom. My sheets were already pulled down and I sorta fell into bed.

"Don't shut the door," I said, "unless you're gonna have somebody over tonight."

"Not gonna happen. Not tonight," replied Ed. The he leaned over and brought his face to within two or three inches of mine. "I don't know what got into you tonight . . . or me . . . but I do love you -- maybe even more than you know - and I gotta do what's best for you. I'd love to get in bed with you right now, so . . . I'm gonna leave." With those words said, he moved closer and kissed me on the lips. It wasn't a deep, full-of-tongue, wild-making-out kiss; it was just a touching of the lips that lasted maybe five seconds. Then he stood up, turned and went to his bedroom.

Ed left his bedroom door open. I don't know if that's how he usually slept or if he left it open so he could hear me if I needed something. What I do know is that, in a few seconds, his bedroom light was turned off.

I guess I dozed off or passed out for a while. I woke up around 1:30 in the morning needing to pee real bad. At this point in the relationship with my "roommate," it would have been silly to put on a robe so I just got up and went to the bathroom naked. 

After taking care of business, I went to the kitchen and got some water to drink. I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see Ed. There he was, wearing just his boxers, rubbing his eyes as if he hadn't had enough sleep. I turned back around so that I was facing the sink. Ed came up behind me and put his arms around me.

"I like havin' a naked girl in my kitchen," he joked, trying to put me at ease, "even if it is my sister." By this time, I was beyond being self-conscious about being nude in front of Ed. But I wasn't beyond being sexually aroused and my nipples were standing up to salute once again.

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" I asked.

"Yeah. I like havin' you . . . here, and I want you . . . here."

I was no longer drunk -- or tipsy - but it was 1:30 in the morning. Did Ed just say that he wanted me here, like he's glad I'm sharing a house with him, or did he just say that he wanted me, like wanted to have sex with me, here, like here in the kitchen? My brain was in no condition to try to answer that question but the possibility was more than flattering.

At that point, I was 19 years old and still a virgin; incredible but true. I had a boyfriend back home who was kind of a nerd and inexperienced, who may have already been calling another girl for a date, who seemed to want to score with me so that he could say that he'd scored with a chick, but I wanted my first time to be more than just somebody's first score. On the other hand, here I was with an older guy who I knew loved me, who was attracted to me, who wanted to protect me and do the right thing by me, and I was pretty certain that if we did it, he wouldn't go around telling all his friends. And I definitely had the hots for him.

At that point, I decided that I'd make love with Ed if he wanted me.

I turned with Ed's arms still around me, looked up at him and said, " . . . and I want you." I then stepped to the side so that his arms were no longer around me and I walked out of the kitchen, leaving him standing there at the sink.

I walked into Ed's bedroom and got between the sheets. When Ed walked into the room, he didn't say a word. He simply got between the sheets with me. I turned my back to him so that we could spoon and I felt his arm reaching over me and coming to rest with his hand cupped around one of my boobs.

I felt light, as if I might float away, and I felt tingly, like I had electricity flowing through my body . . . especially my pussy.

"You feel nice," Ed whispered to me. "I like touchin' you. Your skin's so smooth and your boobs're nice, too. I really wanna suck on 'em."

I rolled over so I was facing Ed. I scooted up in the bed a little and raised up on my elbow. I leaned over and lowered my chest to Ed, offering him my left nipple. He took it between his lips and licked on it. I felt like I was getting so wet that I might leave a wet spot in the bed just from my pussy juice.

Ed opened his mouth and sucked in my breast. As he did so, he slowly began to close his mouth, pulling his lips back so that his teeth were grazing my skin and then closing on my nipple to suck like a baby trying to get milk.

"That . . . feels . . . so . . . good," I uttered.

"Are you on any kind of birth control?" Ed asked. I hadn't thought about that. I know it's irresponsible but I hadn't planned on being in bed with my brother or anyone else on my first night away from home.

"Fuck no!" I said with obvious disappointment in my voice.

"I don't have any rubbers here, but there's other things we can do," Ed said, obviously having no intentions of being denied. "I wanna lick your pussy while you suck on me."

I didn't waste any time in getting on top of Ed in a 69 position. I put my lips on his dick and I felt his tongue connect with my pussy. Ed obviously was experienced because he knew right where to go to arouse my clit. He began licking lightly in circles around my magic button and I could feel my pussy leaking onto his face.

Mark had felt me up before but he had never gotten his mouth near my puss, so I had absolutely no way to be prepared for the feeling. It was wonderful. It was like silk sliding across glass, building up energy with every movement.

While Ed was licking me, I had his dick in my mouth, sliding up and down on his pole. I could feel it throbbing with his heartbeat as I continued sucking on his hard rod. "Tell me when you're gonna cum," I said to him, but he offered no reply.

Ed had his hands on my butt cheeks and he began sliding his hands towards my butt crack. Soon, I felt his fingertips pressing on me within an inch of my puckered orifice. I couldn't believe the way that turned me on and I wanted his finger inside me.

"Oh . . . more . . .," I gasped and Ed responded. His right hand lowered to my pussy and he stuck his finger inside me. Although I was a virgin, I had ruptured my hymen in 10th grade when I tried masturbating with a candle in my pussy, so I wasn't afraid of pain like some girls are. His finger quickly found my G-spot and he began rubbing up and down inside my pussy.

Meanwhile, Ed had wet his left index finger with his saliva and returned his finger to my most private entrance. Mark had never seen my butthole and neither had Dr. Wasson; actually, I think Dr. Wasson might have seen it, because I felt pretty exposed when I had my legs up in the stirrups on the exam table, but I'm not sure.

Ed had already seen my pink pucker and he had touched it. Now, he had his finger at the entrance as he continued licking on my clit and fingering my pussy. Then I felt his finger sliding in me. It was just a bit uncomfortable momentarily and then my sphincter relaxed and I started moving forwards and backwards to fuck his finger with my asshole.

It only took a few thrusts into my ass before I was ready to explode. "Oh, god, I'm gonna . . . gonna . . . I'm coming." I felt waves of contractions ripple through my pelvis as I thought I was going to explode. My pussy was in spasms and my tits felt like they were on fire. I'm sure my asshole clinched as I felt Ed's finger withdraw from that opening. The he took his finger out of my pussy and he licked my pussy one last time.

I hadn't stopped sucking on Ed's meat and I knew he was close because he was trying to thrust into my mouth and he was even harder than before. "I'm real close," he said.

I had never swallowed Mark's cum because I had no idea what it would taste like; Mark wanted me to swallow but I never had. I know that Ed probably wanted me to leave his dick in my mouth and swallow his cum, even though he had never said that. I felt like I owed him; he had just given me the most intense orgasm of my life and I didn't want to disappoint him.

"It's okay," I said. "Cum in my mouth." As soon as I said those words, I returned to sucking on his dick and he started cumming in seconds.

"Oh, yeah . . . suck me . . . suck me . . . Lizi . . .."

I felt his dick begin shooting jets of cum in my mouth and I was quite proud of myself for bringing Ed so much pleasure. I continued to suck until his cum stopped. I was a little bit surprised; I had been warned that a guy's cum would taste awful, but it didn't. It was a little pungent, a little sweet, a little earthy, and I loved it. I'd read porn stories where girls said a guy came so much they couldn't swallow it all, but I didn't have that problem. I sucked until I was sure I had the last drop.

I got off of Ed and turned back around in the bed, laying next to Ed. He put his arm over me and held me close to him. "I hope there's a whole lot more of that," he whispered to me.

"Me, too," I replied before I drifted off to a night of very sound sleep. I slept that night with my brother, naked, satisfied, feeling naughty but grown up, feeling dirty but elated, feeling that I was loved by a man who returned my love.

No, reader, this is not the end of the story. Unfortunately, the story does have an end. I loved, and still do love, Ed dearly. He taught me so many things, and he was good to me in so many ways . . . no man has ever measured up to the standards he established. I get sad every time I think about it, but, for now, this is not the end.

The next morning, I woke up in Ed's bed but Ed wasn't there. I wasn't sure what was up with that, but I thought back to the previous night and smiled. I had been tipsy to the point that I threw up on myself but I had sobered up fairly quickly after emptying the contents of my stomach. I'm sorry if that sounds gross but there is not a dainty, feminine way to express what happened.

I hadn't planned on having oral sex with Ed, but I got pretty aroused when he was giving me a bath. Later, when I was in the kitchen and he came in and put his arms around me, my heart just melted. I fell in love with Ed at that moment and I knew that he was the one to whom I would give my virginity.

The next morning, Ed returned home just a few minutes after I had awakened. I had just enough time to pee and put on a pair of panties before he walked in.

"Where ya been?" I asked.

"Out," he said, "gettin' a surprise for ya." Ed showed me a small bag from the drug store and I looked inside. It contained condoms. "I'm hopin' that last night wasn't just you bein' drunk and me bein' horny. I care about you way too much for that to be a one night stand."

I turned to Ed, our faces just inches apart. "If you want me, you've got me, all of me, and I hope you'll want me for a long, long time."

"I want you startin' right now," he said with a hint of longing in his voice.

Ed leaned down slightly so that our lips touched. As soon as our lips connected, I felt an excitement that I had never experienced with Mark. I wanted to give myself to Ed completely, I wanted to satisfy him in every way that a woman can satisfy a man, and I wanted to feel him inside of me.

Our lips parted and I took his hand as I turned towards his bedroom. I led him back to bed and proceeded to slowly undress him. As I removed his shirt, I told him how much I had always been turned on by his athletic body. When I pulled down his shorts, he had a bulge in his boxers. I laughed and told him how turned on I had been as a teenager when I saw him with a boner.

I put my hand inside his boxers and placed my fingers around his manhood. He was very hard. I could feel the veins on the surface of his dick. I could feel the rhythm of his life force as his hard meat throbbed in tempo with his heart. I slowly and gently stroked his member a few times and his breathing started to become heavy.

Ed reached behind me and placed a hand in my panties. His strong hand cupped my ass and squeezed gently as he pulled my body towards his. "I need to be in you," was all that he said.

He kneeled in front of me and pulled my panties down. As my virgin pussy came into view, he told me how much he had been turned on seeing me in my panties that morning. "You're pussy's as beautiful as you are," he said, "and I wanna cum inside you."

He pulled his boxers down and we both got in bed. I was laying on my back and he was on his side, facing me.

"I don't need your tongue or your fingers in me. I'm wet and I want to feel you inside me," I said.

"Okay," he replied, "but, first, I have to tell you somethin'." Then he leaned closer and whispered in my ear, "I love you." He got a condom from the bag, unwrapped it, and put it on his manliness. I was glad he did it because I had never seen it done before.

Ed got on top of me and I wrapped my legs around him. He was hard and I was ready. I reached down and pulled his dick close to my pussy. He had a look in his eyes, like 'are you sure?' and I said, "yes, I want you in me."

As soon as I uttered those words, he pushed down and I felt his dick begin to slide inside of me. At that moment, I was no longer a girl but a woman, and I wanted to please the man who was making it happen for me.

Ed didn't have a big dick like some guy in a porn movie but, based on my later experiences, most guys don't. I never measured it but Ed's dick was probably five inches long. It was plenty for me. He hit my G-spot and it felt incredible having his dick in me. It felt unbelievably good when he was all the way inside me and it felt good when he had pulled out just enough so he could push into me again. The more he did it, the more I wanted it. It felt like something incredible was happening inside me. As he continued to thrust into me, I sensed a building energy between my legs that needed a release. I had no idea that it would feel so damned good.

Ed started thrusting harder, his urgent forcefulness signaling an unrelenting desire for climax. He was panting and grunting and he sounded like an animal. Hearing him so obviously consumed with lust was a tremendous turn-on for me. I was the one that he wanted to be in and to come in, and I was the one who would give him pleasure. I suddenly felt so mature and, then, when I realized that it was my brother inside me, I felt so absolutely naughty. I know that Ed felt passion for me but part of me felt degraded and cheap. What decent girl would let her brother fuck her?




My Brother, My Roommate, My Lover



Guilt couldn't hold back my body. As Ed thrust into me harder, my body responded with its own urgent demand. I needed to have an orgasm with Ed in me and nothing -- not society, not morality, not my parents -- nothing could deny me the right to have an orgasm with Ed inside me.

"It feels soooo good," I cooed. "Fuck me harder!"

"I'm so close!" Ed declared. "I'm ready . . . ready to cum."

I felt Ed's dick pulse with the bursts of cum shooting out of his organ. Suddenly, I felt my pelvis go into spasms as my own orgasm began. I surrendered to my body's reaction. I didn't want to be in control, I only wanted to experience. I wanted to wrap my arms around Ed and never let go, I wanted to keep his hot dick in me forever, I didn't want the moment to end. My nipples were hard and every time Ed thrust, his chest hair brushed my nipples and made me feel like I was shivering . . . but I wasn't cold. I was hot -- very hot.

Ed stopped thrusting and he lowered his body onto mine. He was right where he belonged and I was where I belonged. He looked into my eyes and smiled.

"Lizi, I've had sex before," he began, "but this is the first time that I think I made love. I've never felt this way about any other girl. I hope that you feel as strongly about me as I do about you."

"Ed, I think I'm gonna call Mark and tell him that I don't think this long distance thing'll work. You're the one I want, not anyone else."

"I feel the same way," he answered. "I don't want anybody else. Here, in this house, it's our own world and we can make the rules. You've gotta keep a separate bedroom so everything'll look okay if Mom and Dad come to visit, but I want you in here every night."

"You've got me, as much as you want . . . just as long as that's one-hundred percent." I wanted Ed to know that I wanted him exclusively and he was saying the same thing to me.

"We don't have anything else to do today," Ed said, "so let's have breakfast and then we can get back in bed."

And that's what we did. We had breakfast, we returned to the bed and made love again. I slept in his bedroom that night, and the next night, and the next night for many, many nights.

We had sex in bed. We had sex on the floor. We had sex in the shower. We did it in the pool. We had sex on the kitchen table. We did it standing up and we did it sitting down. We had a lot of sex and, usually, it was done with love, passion, and lust.

Ed was a wonderful lover and he taught me so very much. With him, I discovered my sexuality. No, I didn't discovered a secret desire for latex panties or bondage -- although Ed did tie me up once and it was kinda exciting. A few weeks after we became lovers, Ed introduced me to anal sex. He was gentle and he took his time about it. He probed me with his finger and then with his tongue before he put dick in my ass. He used a lubricant and, after a minute of him being inside me, it started to feel good. We began doing anal sex occasionally, but it was no substitute for having him on top of me with his dick and my little pussy.

Ed and I started nude sunbathing by our pool. Initially, I felt a bit awkward. It wasn't that I was ashamed of my body. I had just never been naked outdoors and a little voice in my head kept trying to tell me that it was wrong. After a few afternoons in the buff by the pool, the little voice went away and I got comfortable with it. Every now and then, Ed asked me if I had any lady friends who wanted to join us in our sun worship, but I just laughed and told him that was gonna happen only in his dreams.

Ed also took me to the nudist lake. I learned that the locals liked to call it a naturist retreat but that was just a word game; it was a nudist lake. At first, I just took off my top but, within a few minutes, I was totally naked. At first, Ed had a bit of a boner but not for long. Soon, I had almost forgotten that I was naked in public. I had gotten accustomed to being naked outdoors with Ed but this was different. The difference was that other people -- strangers -- were seeing me naked. 

Some of the guys I saw were kind of cute and I actually thought about what it would be like to have sex with them. I didn't want to have sex with them; I just wondered what it would be like. Some of the girls there had really beautiful bodies and I felt a little inadequate. I also felt a bit turned on, exposing my tits and pussy to strangers. At that time, not many girls shaved their snatch, so I guess I attracted some attention when guys saw my shaved pussy lips. Ed made sure he didn't stray far from me while we were at the lake. When we got home that afternoon, I was so horny I would have fucked a broom handle. Fortunately, that wasn't necessary. Ed was also a horny devil and he ate my pussy until I came and then we did it doggy style.

Sex wasn't the only thing that kept us busy. School started a few days after I moved to Gainesville and I got absorbed with my classes. Ed had already taken some of the basic courses on my schedule and he helped me a lot. He showed me how to study, how to determine what was important to know, and how to get ready for a test. We both got good grades and he was partially responsible for my success.

All of my sexual education was done in private, just with Ed. All of it except for one experience. It was very different. It was my first and last, one and only experience with another female.

Late in my second semester, one of my friends -- Clarissa - told me she had the hots for Ed. Of course, she knew Ed was my brother and she never suspected that she was actually confiding in Ed's lover. I shouldn't have done so, but I told Ed.

"Wow, I'm flattered," Ed boasted. "Clarissa's a hottie!"

"And what am I?" I responded with some apparent anger in my voice.

"Number one, you're the woman I love and, number two, you are so fuckin' hot I get hard every time I see you walkin' around in just your panties or even just a short skirt. And if your naked, I definitely wanna get inside ya."

"Well, don't go thinkin' about Clarissa that way when she comes over tonight! Friday night is for partyin' but not with other chicks," I warned him.

Ed and I had never had a talk about us and the long term. I was afraid to ask if he wanted us to be together forever, but that's all I wanted. If I couldn't have Ed forever, I wanted him to myself for as long as possible and my plans certainly didn't include Clarissa.

That afternoon, Clarissa came over to our house. Ed was at work, so Clarissa and I hung out at the pool. By that time, Ed and I were sunbathing in the nude whenever we were out at the pool but we certainly hadn't done that with anyone else, except for the one time at the nudist lake.

Clarissa knew that Ed was at work and she just assumed, without asking, that it was okay for her to take off her top. "You don't mind, do ya? The girls need to get some sun," she said, referring to her ta-ta's.

I wanted Clarissa to think of me as cool, so I said "sure, in fact, sometimes I lay out here naked." 'Why, oh why did I say that?' I asked myself.

"That's even cooler. The buns need a little bakin', too." She stood and pulled her bikini bottom off and lay back down, totally naked and acting like it was just another day in the park. 

Again, my lack of self-confidence made me do something just to gain acceptance, so I stood up and removed my bikini. When I did, Clarissa looked over and said "wow, you shave down there. Cool. You'll have to show me how to do that sometime."

"Sure," I responded.

Next came the obligatory will-you-put-some-oil-on-my-back question, and I straddled a very naked Clarissa as I rubbed oil into her back, her shoulders, her butt, and her legs.

As soon as I lay down, she got up and straddled me. I had not uttered a word of request but she indicated that she needed to return the favor. She began at my shoulders and them my back. When she got to my butt, I thought she took a little longer than usual and was a bit concerned with getting oil in the middle of my ass. Then, as she put oil on my legs, it seems that she was being very conscientious in applying oil to my inner thighs. I'll admit that it felt very good.

After about an hour in the sun -- and two frozen margaritas -- we moved inside. We had not put on any clothes.

"Your shaved coochee looks so hot. That must drive guys crazy," she said. "Show me how," she asked.

I felt that I couldn't say no, so I said yes and we went into the bathroom. It felt strange to shave another girl but I got over my inhibitions and got into it. At one point, I had to pull her pussy lips taut while I shaved them and I thought she got a little fidgety because it was weird to have another girl touch her down there, but she told me to keep goin'. When I finished, I told her that the last thing I do is around my ass and she immediately turned around, bent over, and said 'do me.' That part was even stranger but it didn't take long. Fortunately, Clarissa was a nice looking girl and it was easier to look at a nice looking naked girl that a naked ugly ol' tub o' lard.

Clarissa said she wanted to take a shower to get the oil off of her. I wanted to do the same but I told her she could take the first shower.

Clarissa started the shower and, when I walked out of the bathroom, I closed the door because Ed was coming in the front door.

By this point in my college career, I could hold my liquor better than that first night away from home, but I guess I had drank enough to loosen my tongue. I told Ed about laying out by the pool and Clarissa's request for me to shave her pussy.

"Well, that would have been an interestin' sight," he said.

When Clarissa got out of the shower, she wrapped a towel around herself and walked out.

"Oh, hey, Ed. Lizi, I'm gonna get dressed in your room if you wanna get in the shower now."

"Cool," I said.

While I was in the shower, Ed and Clarissa talked. Ed told me the details later.

When I got out, I got dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. Ed and Clarissa had ordered a pizza and started drinking some beer. One pizza and twelve beers later, we weren't trashed but we were feeling good.

Ed suggested that we play a game and, of course, it was truth or dare. It started with questions about how many guys have you had sex with, how old were you when you lost your virginity. With a few more beers in us, things loosened up a bit.

Ed asked Clarissa if she had ever had sex with another girl.

"Well, I'm mostly straight but, I did have sex with another girl once, in high school. It was Rachel -- a good friend - and she was doin' a sleepover at my house. She hadn't spent the night before. I had a queen-size bed that we shared. We went to my bedroom for the night and shut the door. I'd taken off everything 'cept my panties and was pullin' on a t-shirt to sleep in when I told her that I usually sleep in just my panties. She said 'then don't bother with the top 'cause that's how I sleep, too. So, we got in bed and lay on our sides, facin' each other and talkin'. My mom heard us talkin' and told us to go to sleep. So we moved closer to each other so we could carry on a conversation whisperin'. I was tellin' her about somethin' that was upsettin' to me and she put her arms around me to hold me."

"Pretty soon, her hands were goin' all over and I got kinda excited. She asked me if I had ever done it with a girl and I said 'no, but I always wondered . . .' and she said 'me, too,' so then she puts her hand in my panties and starts fingerin' me. It was so fuckin' hot I came real quick. We both took off our panties and ended up suckin' each others nipples and doin' oral on each other."

"I've met a few girls since then who I thought might be hot to do it with, but I haven't . . . yet. It's been all guys since that once."

"Wow, that's a pretty hot story. Do ya have any pictures?" Ed asked facetiously. We all laughed.

It was Clarissa's turn next and she asked me the same question.

"No, I've only gone all the way with one person in my entire life and that was a guy." I deliberately used the past tense because I didn't want Clarissa to find out about Ed and me. "But . . . I don't know . . . the idea doesn't gross me out, but . . . it would have to be someone . . . oh, I don't know." I didn't want to admit that the idea kinda turned me on. I certainly didn't want Ed to think that he didn't satisfy me in every way.

Now it was my turn. I didn't want to ask anything dorky or stupid, so I said, "Ed, truth or dare?"

"Truth," was his immediate response.

"The next time you play with yourself, what's the most likely fantasy you'll have?"

"That's easy," Ed said, "although I have a steady girlfriend now so I don't have a need to choke the chicken at present. Anyway, the next time I bop the bologna, I'll probably fantasize about you and Clarissa bein' naked in bed together and doin' it."

"Well . . . that's kinda . . . well okay," I said, not really knowing what to say. "I've always heard that guys fantasize about watchin' two chicks get it on, so . . . I guess that proves your a guy. Your turn, Clarissa."

"Okay, Lizi, truth or dare?"

"Truth," I said. I was afraid what the dare might be.

"I dare you to tell Ed what we did when we got out of the pool this afternoon."

"Well, Clarissa and I were out by the pool workin' on our overall tans, if you get my drift, and she noticed that I shave my pubes. So she asked me to do it to her -- shave 'er pubes, that is - and I did it."

"And what else?" Clarissa asked.

"I shaved around 'er ass, too," I added.

"I definitely wanna see the pictures from that," Ed interjected.

"Which one of us do you wanna see naked, Ed, me or Lizi, or both of us?" Clarissa asked teasingly.

"Both of you. You're a hot chick and Lizi might be my sister, but she's a hot chick, too."

"Clarissa, I'm not tryin' to flatter myself but, do you have the hots for me?" I asked.

"I think you're really, really cute because you look so innocent and . . . I'll bet you'd be a lot of fun," she replied.

"My turn," said Ed. "Clarissa, truth or dare?"

"Dare," she said, almost as if demanding a challenge.

"I dare you to take off Lizi's t-shirt and suck on her nipples," Ed said, grinning at me like he was about to get the show of a lifetime.

"Wait a minute," I said. "Ed, I need to talk to you in private."

We both got up and went into the bedroom.

"Ed, we've got a monogamous relationship and I really don't want to have sex with anybody else, includin' another girl, and I hope this isn't leadin' up to you havin' sex with Clarissa, 'cause I want you all to myself." I hoped that Ed would accept my feelings and back down from his dare.

"Lizi," Ed said, looking me in the eyes, "I love you and I know you love me. We haven't talked about this before but, you know it's not like we can get married one day, settle down, have kids, all of that stuff. I don't wanna have kids now but probably somewhere down the road I will. After this year, I'll probably be leavin' Gainesville, takin' a job somewhere, maybe not close, and you'll be here in school for three more years. Those long distance things usually don't last and . . . there's just a lot of reality here that we hafta face."

"Now, I love you and you love me, and that's not gonna change, but there's a difference between sex and love. You can go out there and have fun with Clarissa, and maybe I can, too, and tomorrow and the next day, I'll still love you. I know you're not a lesbian but just foolin' around on a Friday night doesn't make you a lesbo . . . and it might be a fantasy come true for me."

"I'll do this for you, Ed, but you owe me . . . big time!" I smiled as I finished my sentence, just to make Ed think that I wasn't too upset with him. But I was upset, and if Ed didn't think more of maintaining our exclusivity, I guess it shouldn't be too important to me.

We returned to the family room where Clarissa was waiting for us. "Ed hasn't seen me naked in a while," I lied, "and I just had to get things right with him. So . . . what was the dare?"

"I think Clarissa remembers. I dared her to pull off your top and suck on your nipples."

"I don't back down from a dare," she said. She was sitting next to me on the sofa so she turned to face me and reached for the bottom of my t-shirt. I held my arms up to make it simple for her and it was off in two seconds. I was wearing a bra, one of the kind that clasp in the back, and she leaned forward and reached around me. As she fumbled with the clasp (you guys aren't the only ones who sometimes have trouble with those things) she whispered to me, "relax. Let's have some fun."

After a few seconds, she finally freed the clasp and pulled the bra forward. I was sitting on the sofa wearing just my shorts and my brother was staring intently at the action. My nipples were hard from arousal. The idea that another girl was gonna suck on my boobs had me excited.

"Ed, do you like your sister's tits?" Clarissa asked. "They're cute, aren't they?"

"They're more than cute. They're damn sexy," Ed replied. 'Good answer, Ed,' I thought to myself.

Clarissa reached up and put her right thumb and index finger around my left nipple. "Lizi, your nipple's hard. I'll bet you're excited, aren't you?"

"Maybe," was my demure reply.

"I'll bet you're gettin' wet between your legs, too, aren't you?" she asked.

"I don't know. Maybe one of you guys should check that out for yourself," I responded a bit more provocatively.

"One of us? You mean like either me or Ed? 'Cause, if that's what you mean, this could get real kinky . . . and that's okay with me."

"Well, if he wants to see me gettin' my nipples sucked on, maybe he's into that sorta thing," I said.

"Hell, yeah, I'll check your pussy," Ed jumped in with his reply, "right now!"

He got up from his seat and knelt on the floor in front of me. Clarissa had already lowered her face to my chest and taken my nipple between her lips. I felt her tongue moving in tiny circles and then she started lightly sucking my nipple into her mouth. Of course I knew I was wet but there was no sense in telling Ed.

He reached over and unsnapped my shorts, then unzipped them. I lifted up momentarily and he tugged the shorts down my thighs and then they were around my ankles. I lifted my feet and he tossed the shorts to the side. I was now down to just my panties. Clarissa had my nipple in her mouth and Ed had his hand between my legs, feeling the dampness in my panties.

"You feel kinda wet," Ed said slyly, "but I might need to check further." He reached up and grabbed the waistband of my panties. I again raised up momentarily and my panties were down my legs and off of me in a flash.

"That's a sweet lookin' pussy, Lizi. Don't you think so, Clarissa?"

"Well, it looks cute but sweet's a taste and I haven't tasted it yet."

Ed put his middle finger inside me and went right to my G-spot. By this time, Ed knew exactly where it was and how to get me going. He started rubbing with a gentle pressure.

"I can't believe you two. That's so fuckin' wicked and nasty, I can't believe how hot I am," Clarissa said. Her voice was breathy and urgent, like she needed a good fuckin' right then and there.

"I want you to lick my pussy," I said to Clarissa. "I wanna know what it feels like to have a girl's tongue inside me. And I wanna know what another girl tastes like. Get naked!" Lust had consumed me. All I wanted was to fuck and be fucked in every hole in my body.

Clarissa wasted no time in getting out of her clothes. As soon as she was naked, Ed got a good look at her pussy and said, "damn, Clarissa, you got a fine lookin' pussy, too!"

"Well, what you gonna do about it?" she said, obviously wanting Ed inside of her.

"First. I'm gonna catch up with you two and get naked." Ed was out of his clothes in a heartbeat and his dick was already hard.




My Brother, My Roommate, My Lover



"I wanna see you two eat each other," Ed said. His eagerness to watch me engaged in pussy licking was obvious.

Clarissa was obviously happy to oblige. She took my hand and pulled me off the sofa and onto the floor.

"I have a better idea," I said. Ed has a big bed that'd be much more comfortable."

We ran into Ed's bedroom and tore the bedspread off the bed.

Clarissa got on the bed on her hands and knees. She was facing away from Ed and me and she had her knees spread apart. In that position, her ass cheeks were spread and her bumhole was staring at us. "Who wants to come and get me?" Clarissa intoned.

I got in bed and lay on my back. Clarissa accepted the invitation and got on top of me in a 69 position. Her pussy was only inches from my face. I could smell her feminine juices. Her pussy lips were wet and swollen. I was glad that I had shaved her pussy earlier that day.

I thought that the best way to get her to dive into me was to dive into her, so I did. I started dragging my tongue down her lips, avoiding getting in the middle of her slit. As I reached the bottom of her lips, I continued licking. I lifted the tip of my tongue as I approached her bumhole and then started again at the top of her pussy lips. Her moaning definitely intensified every time I got near her puckered pink hole.

While I was doing this to her, she was sucking my clit into her mouth, massaging it with her tongue. She knew exactly what would turn me on and she was doing it. At the same time, she had one finger in my pussy, rubbing my g-spot, while another finger found its way to my bum and teased my rear entrance. 

While we were doing this, Ed had been watching but obviously he wasn't satisfied with just being an observer. He had reached into the drawer of his bedside table and pulled out some lubricant. I think I knew what he was planning. I loved Ed and I was in love with Ed and I didn't want him to have sex with anyone else but . . . on the other hand, I was having sex with someone else at the moment, so I really couldn't complain and . . . I was so hot and aroused that all I wanted was to cum hard and long.

Ed got on the bed, raised up on his knees like he was gonna do it doggy style. He got behind Clarissa and started fingering her asshole while I ate her pussy. An emphatic "uhhhm yeah" was all she could mutter and Ed took that as his sign to proceed. He started rubbing the head of his dick on her asshole and she started shifting her ass back, obviously wanting him to be inside her. He started pushing, being as gentle with her as he was with me.

Watching Ed's dick disappear into Clarissa's ass while I licked on her pussy and had my pussy licked was just too much for me. Soon I was moaning like an animal in heat, thrusting my pussy upward as Clarissa sank her tongue into my dripping wet honey hole. When Ed's dick had penetrated her pretty bottom, Clarissa pushed her finger into my ass and that was the beginning of the end for me.

"Uhh . . . uhh . . . uhh," I moaned, and then my body started shaking and I felt spasms travelling through my pussy and ass. I don't think I had ever cum so hard in my life, but I managed to not stop licking on Clarissa. With my right hand, I reached down and grabbed her nipple and started massaging it as I continued to suck the juice from her pussy. She didn't last much longer and I started to feel her pussy lips quivering.

Apparently, Ed was feeling it, too, because he said "here it comes," and he started thrusting n and out of her ass as hard as I have ever seen him thrust. "Fuck me harder," she moaned, and he tried to comply. He started cumming in her ass and I could see the pulsating movement in his dick. I knew he had filled her with his cum before he pulled out of her. Some of his sperm started leaking out of her behind and travelling down to her pussy lips where I quickly licked her clean.

"I'm gonna move but you stay where you are," I told her as I squirmed my way from under her cute little naked body. I put my hand on Ed to signal that he should move to the side, and he did. I then leaned over and started licking the sperm from around her anus. I don't know if it was the sperm, my horniness, or her butt, but I loved the taste. Ed's sperm tasted salty but I licked up every drop, even pushing my tongue into her ass to get as much as I could. 

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck me," she said, collapsing to the bed as another orgasm hit her. I could see her little puckered ass hole tightening and relaxing as the waves of her orgasm passed through her pussy and behind. 

I then turned to Ed and used my tongue to clean him, as well. Pretty soon, he was hard again and Clarissa asked, "shall we start round two?"

Maybe the alcohol was wearing off because I was feeling different. I didn't want to continue sharing my man.

"Clarissa, I have somethin' to tell ya," I said. "What we did just then was fun. I've never been with a girl before but now I have. I came real hard, and you came real hard, and Ed came real hard. And it was fun. You don't know this but I'm in love with Ed and I want him all to myself. You don't hafta understand it but I hope you'll respect it."

Clarissa paused for a moment, as if it was taking some time for her to process the bombshell which had just landed at her feet. "I had no idea," she said. "It's a little weird but . . . I just had a girl lickin' cum out of my ass so I guess I can't really complain about weird. Anyway . . . I'm jealous, but I understand." She got up and started to get dressed.

"I'm not mad at you and I hope you're not mad at me," I said.

"No, it was fun but I'm still horny. I don't really understand the brother/sister thing, but I understand you bein' attracted to a guy like Ed and I understand him bein' attracted to a girl like you. I just wish I wasn't still so fuckin' horny."

"You're welcome to stay and play with yourself but . . . when you're gone, I'm gonna have sex with Ed."

"You mean," she asked, "you wanna watch while I diddle myself?"

"It's my final dare," I said.

Clarissa asked if I had a toy she could use and I gave her a pink vibrator. She got naked again and put some lube on the vibrator, then inserted it into her eager pussy. She got on the floor on her knees, leaning back with her butt resting on her heels. She let the vibrator rest on the floor and she then began to raise herself up and down so that she was, literally, fucking the vibrator. She pinched both nipples between her thumbs and forefingers and, before long, her moans were almost continuous.

Her lips were red and swollen and her face had a frantic look. Her pace quickened and she soon was loudly demanding, to no one in particular, "fuck me, fuck me, fuck me." As it became obvious that her orgasm was imminent, she released her right hand from her nipple and moved it around to her backside. She then began touching her anus with her middle finger and, within two or three seconds, her body was shaking and she was slowing down.

"That was fuckin' amazin'," she finally declared, obviously proud of her own lack of inhibitions.

"I'll agree with that assessment," Ed replied. He was obviously turned on and in need of some relief.

"You can sleep here tonight if you want," I said, pointing to my bedroom.

Ed and I went into his bedroom and closed the bedroom door. I wasn't sure what to say to him. Then I started crying.

"Ed, I'm so afraid of losin' you," I cried. "I want you forever . . . and I know that probably won't happen."

Ed held me close and kissed my forehead, then he dried my tears. "You're right. We probably won't be together forever. After this year, I'll leave and you'll still be here and those long distance things don't last and . . . besides . . . it's not like we could ever get married and have babies and all that normal stuff. I know that's what I want and I think that's what you want and you deserve to have that."

"We may not have forever," Ed continued, "but we have the rest of this year. And I will always love you . . . not just like a brother and sister . . . but like a special lover, a soul mate, a partner through time -- but only in spirit."

We made love that night. And the next. And the next. We never invited anyone else over for wild sex, and I never, ever had sex with another girl. Ed loved me and I loved him and we continued loving each other.

Eventually, the end of the school year came. Ed got a job in Atlanta and I continued in school in Gainesville. Dad agreed to keep me in the same house if I got a roommate, which I did. No, it wasn't Clarissa. It was a girl from my biology lab and we got along great.

I was sad for a very long time. I missed Ed horribly. Eventually, my roommate set me up with a blind date and it was awful, I never saw him again, but I did start dating.

When I was a senior, Ed got married. My heart got broken all over again. His wife was a great girl and I knew she would be a good wife and a good mother for the children they would eventually have. I was happy for Ed but very sad for myself.

I danced with Ed and his wedding. It was a slow dance and, at the end of the dance, Ed leaned down and whispered into my ear, "I wish you could have been the one standin' with me on the altar. I'll always love you, Lizi, and I'll always regret what we could never have." It was impossible to not cry but I at least waited until I had retreated to the ladies' room. Ed went off with his bride on a honeymoon and I went back to Gainesville.

I'll always love Ed, too, but life goes on. We don't always get what we want but things have a way of resolving themselves in a way that ultimately makes sense. Every time I saw Ed immersed in play with his first baby, I know that it worked out best for him. Every time I saw his wife holding his hand and looking at him with an expression that practically screamed love, trust, and admiration, I know that it worked out best for him.

I know I should forget about the past. But I can't get over someone who I still see at least two or three times every year. Ed calls me every couple of weeks and we talk for a few minutes, but we never talk about the relationship we had in college.

I'm 36 years old now. I never got married. I was engaged once but I called it off about two weeks after he proposed. I felt like it would never work, that I'd always be comparing him to Ed. Maybe I'm a dork and an idiot, and maybe I should try to find someone to fill the void in my life. My family's given up on me and started to call me an 'old maid.' They don't mean anything bad when they say that, but it hurts. It hurts because . . . I'm still in love with Ed . . . and I wonder if he's still in love with me.