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Catherine & Thomas

By: hot_honey



My brother, Thomas, is 10 years older than I am. He’s tall and very handsome – he has thick, wavy black hair and intense brown eyes fringed with long black eyelashes. He’s powerfully built, with wide shoulders, long muscular legs and big strong workingman’s hands that belie his career as a major player in the corporate world. We have no other brothers and sisters and though we spent little time living in the same house (he left home when he was 18 and I was 8) we’ve always been fond of each other.

Thomas was and still is, the dynamic personality in our family. He has a big booming laugh and a forceful, confident, yet charming manner that draws people to him. He is never at a loss for company, especially female company. As a child, I often if he wasn’t a changeling – he was that different to the rest of the family. I am much quieter, almost an introvert. I read obsessively and my social life usually revolves around films, theatre, museums and other solitary pursuits. I have a few friends whose company I enjoy but I am equally (maybe even more) comfortable being on my own.

Our parents are kind enough but they’re not what you would call the most exciting of people. What passion they could muster was all directed at Thomas. He was the perfect son, everything they ever wanted. They always took good care of me and I never lacked for anything, except maybe the kind of parental adoration and concern I sometimes caught glimpses of when visiting friends at their family homes.

When Thomas visited he brought light, laughter and colour into our rather drab home. My parents were roused from their usual complacent state and I could imagine for a time that this is what my family was always like. You would think that my parents’ naked adoration of Thomas would make me jealous of him. On the contrary, I could understand their preference for him and I loved him dearly. He made it easy to love him because he was unfailingly kind and affectionate towards me, always ensuring my inclusion in all family activities and doing his best to coax me out of my introverted ways. He made light of my parents’ fussing and refused to acknowledge his status as the golden boy of the family.

I may not resemble Thomas in personality, but we are quite similar in appearance. I am also tall with long black hair and big brown eyes with the same long sooty eyelashes Thomas has. I do not have the slim boyish figure for which I yearn. I’m not fat - statuesque would be an apt description. Sometimes Thomas teases me and says that I was born in the wrong era. I should have lived in an era when men appreciated a woman who had curves and soft places and padding in all the right places. Then he’d laugh and hug me because I’d be blushing and telling him to be quiet and not talk such rot.

As we got older I saw less of him as his career took off and his life revolved more and more around making deals and getting to the top. I had never been interested in business and even now would rather read Jane Austen than the latest Suze Orman. I was fortunate that my parents never nagged me to be more like Thomas. They allowed me the space to follow my own interests, though I think that was more the result of a lack of interest rather than the desire to nurture their only daughter.

My small circle of friends and shy ways meant that I didn’t have an active social life in high school. I had gone on a few dates, usually with boys who weren’t that popular. They were nice enough, but they wouldn’t stand out in a crowd. Sometimes a boy would give me a goodnight kiss and I usually enjoyed that. I knew I wanted more but I didn’t want to be like the girls at school that everyone gossiped about – the ones that gave in too easily. Secretly, I envied them. I wanted to have the confidence to go all the way with a boy and not care what people said but I knew I could never be that kind of girl. It just wasn’t me.

People who knew me equated my shy ways and solitary nature with a lack of interest in sex but in truth, this wasn’t so. I had a very active interest in sex but limited means to express that interest. I discovered masturbation at the age of 10. As I grew older and learned where and how to touch myself, masturbation became my regular and only outlet for the sexual frustration I was experiencing. I usually masturbated at least once a day, two or three times if I could. At first I felt guilty about what I was doing but after reading a few psychology textbooks I concluded that this was a normal part of growing up and that I had nothing to be ashamed of. Consulting my friends or (heaven help me) my parents never occurred to me. My instinct was to go to books because that’s where I seemed to learn all the important lessons.

My life drifted along until I left high school and went to university. I decided to major in English and History. I know, I know – what kind of job did I expect to get with that degree? As I said, I was never business-minded and to me it made perfect sense to study subjects I loved, rather than ones that made practical sense. My goals were modest – I wanted to get my degree, get a job that involved books and move into a small house that I could make into my own home. I knew that some time I would have to consider the possibility of a husband and children but that seemed far in the distant future.

My first year at university wasn’t quite what I expected. I had entertained thoughts of breaking out of my shell and becoming more involved in campus social life but instead university seemed more like an extension of high school in that regard. I was still part of the crowd that no one seemed to notice. What was different was that I had access to more books and information than was at high school. There were also more people here who wanted to learn than there was at high school. I made a few new friends, mostly people like me who had a genuinely love of learning and books. I soon settled in and began to enjoy my time there.

During those years I saw little of Thomas. He visited his family remarkably often for a man as ambitious and driven as he was but even so, sometimes months would go by between visits. Many of those visits coincided with my exams so I was usually at the library or in my room immersed in my books or on the Internet doing research when he arrived. When he caught me studying at home he would pop his head into my room and give a cheerful greeting, usually followed by a hug and five minutes of brother/sister chat (“How’s school? Ok. How’s work? Ok”) before leaving me to my studies.

On one of those visits, in my last year, I noticed he looked tired and not his usual sparkling self. When I asked him if he was ok he replied that he was working on a complicated business deal and was having more problems than he thought he would. I felt a stab of guilt for not taking more of an interest in his life and ventured to ask him what kind of problems. He hesitated and I was about to tell him he didn’t have to say anything when he started talking. I have to admit, I didn’t understand most of what he said but I understood enough to get the general idea. In any case, I doubt he wanted my advice. What he needed was a sounding board and I was it. He was sitting on my bed and I was at my desk. For the half an hour or so that he spoke it felt like we were the only two people in the world. I even managed to ask a few questions that didn’t make me sound like a complete idiot. I was sorry when my mother called up that dinner was ready and we should come down to eat. For the first time in a very long time Thomas and I were actually having a meaningful conversation, even if it was one where I understood maybe a tenth of what he was saying!

We didn’t see each other for about a month after that. He was immersed in getting that deal and when he succeeded, he was busier than ever before. I was preparing for finals and my life revolved around classes, library and studying. My intermittent social life died out almost completely, though I was sometimes persuaded to take in a film with friends or go out for a drink. When we did see each other we’d make time to talk properly, even if it was only for 15 minutes or half an hour. It wasn’t always easy to do that because my parents usually monopolized his time. I felt that I was starting to get to know my brother on an adult level.

All the hard work I’d put in over the previous four years finally paid off when I graduated summa cum laude. Thomas couldn’t attend my graduation because he was out of the country on business but he called to congratulate me and followed up his phone call with a surprisingly large transfer into my bank account. I was astonished and very appreciative. He laughed and brushed aside my stuttering thank you when we next spoke.

“You deserve it Cat. You worked hard enough and I want you to go out and have some fun.” 

My name is Catherine and that’s what everyone calls me, not Cathy or Cath but Catherine. Thomas, however, has always called me Cat. My mother said that when I was born they told him my name and he didn’t like it so he decided to call me Cat and no one could persuade him otherwise. That’s the way he is – once his mind is set on something there is nothing that can be said or done to sway him.

Now two months of idle time lay ahead of me. Thomas’s gift, combined with my substantial savings meant that I wasn’t hurting financially. I started the holiday by going on a little shopping spree. I seldom bought clothes because most of the clothes I liked didn’t fit me well – too short in the leg and too tight around the hips and buttocks. All too often I gave up in frustration and spent my money on books instead. Consequently I did not possess the most stylish wardrobe.

That day was to be my lucky day though. I was wandering through the mall trying to decide which shop to venture into when I spotted a small shop, boutique really, that had two beautiful dresses in the window. One was a long slinky dress in a deep, almost purple, shade of red. The other dress was short and formfitting and toffee-coloured. Impulsively, I walked in and found myself asking to fit on the dresses in the window. Minutes later I was ushered into a small dressing room. I fitted on the red dress first and when I looked in the mirror I was stunned to see a stranger looking back at me. I had never given much thought to my looks and was astonished to see an attractive young woman in the mirror.

The red dress picked up the warm tones in my mocha-coloured skin and made a lovely contrast against my black hair and dark eyes. I spent a few minutes turning around and admiring myself from different angles, marveling at the image I saw in front of me. I reluctantly took off the red dress and tried on the toffee-coloured dress. It didn’t make as dramatic an impact as the red one but it clung to my body, showing off my long legs and small waist. When I stepped out of the dressing room to take a look in the big mirror outside I caught the eye of a man walking past and stifled an embarrassed laugh when he gave a double-take and then grinned his appreciation of my figure. I surprised myself by returning his smile before ducking back into the dressing room to change back into my normal clothes.

The saleswoman, who at first seemed aloof and intimidating, smiled warmly at me when I took both dresses and then followed up with two pairs of sexy high-heeled sandals and a third more sensible pair, as well as beautiful red chiffon and lace wrap that was threaded through with strands of gold. That saleswoman had reason to smile – I couldn’t stifle a dismayed gulp when I saw the total price - I was probably single-handedly responsible for her annual bonus. Still, once I got over the shock, I walked around the mall a bit and discovered that there were a few other (cheaper) shops that had fashionable clothes that actually fit me well. All in all, it was a good day and I arrived home feeling happy with my purchases and myself.

My beautiful clothes spent their first two weeks in my possession, hanging in the closet. In my excitement I had forgotten that I had nowhere to actually wear those lovely garments. That was soon to change because my 22nd birthday was in a week’s time and I felt sure I could wear one of my new dresses then. I was expecting the usual birthday tradition – dinner at a nice restaurant with my parents and Thomas (if he was available). Instead, this year I was in for a surprise. Thomas called about two days before my birthday and said that he had a special treat planned. He would come over early to our house so everyone could wish me and I could open my presents but afterwards he was taking me to the most fashionable restaurant in town, followed by dancing at an exclusive members only nightclub and the best part was that our parents weren’t invited. I was speechless with pleasure as Thomas brushed aside my parents’ protests with a comment that I was no longer a child and it was about time I celebrated my birthday without their supervision.

The big day arrived and I was like a child at Christmas. I woke at dawn and couldn’t go back to sleep. I went for a long run and worked off some of my nervous energy. One would swear I had a date with my knight in shining armour, rather than my big brother. Still, it was good of him to be making such a big effort for his baby sister. I couldn’t think of many brothers who would go to so much trouble for their sisters.

I wasn’t much good with makeup and hairstyles so I asked one of my friends, Claire, to help. We decided to blow-dry my hair but leave it hanging loose around my shoulders. Claire knew how to apply makeup and we had a grand time trying out all the lipsticks, eye shadows, etc. in her bag of tricks. Eventually we had to get serious when we realised there wasn’t much time left before Thomas was expected. We decided that I would wear the red dress because it was more sophisticated. Claire did her magic and refused to let me look at myself until I had on the dress and the matching slinky, sexy high-heeled sandals that showed off my long slim feet to perfection.

“You look gorgeous Catherine!” Claire exclaimed.

I turned around and gaped at the sophisticated woman in the mirror. That was me?

“I take it back.” Claire laughed. “You don’t look that beautiful with your mouth hanging open!”

I pretended anger and threw a pillow at her. She squealed in mock-terror and we ended up giggling like the little girls we no longer were. We had to stop when my mother told me to com downstairs as Thomas had arrived and I didn’t want to be late for my date, now did I? Claire and I pulled faces at each other and sniggered at my mother’s tone of voice. She was jealous that I would have her precious boy all to myself for an evening.

I walked into the living room and found Thomas chatting to our father. He looked up when I entered and stopped mid-sentence. He didn’t say anything for a second and I panicked. What if I looked like an idiot? I must look like a silly little girl playing at being a woman.

“God Cat! You look stunning!” Thomas said.

I felt a hot wave of relief wash over me and gave him a broad smile. For that brief moment, I felt like the most beautiful woman in the world.

We went through the ritual of toasting my birthday and I opened my presents. My parents gave me what they usually gave me – a book voucher and cash. Thomas gave me something special though – an exquisite, delicate gold chain with a blood-red ruby pendant. I put it on immediately and it matched my outfit perfectly. Our parents fussed over Thomas and peppered him with questions. I noticed he adroitly avoided our mother’s probing questions about his love life. Though it was my birthday, all their attention was focused on my brother. It was starting to get embarrassing the way they fussed over him and ignored me. Thomas mercifully cut the evening short by telling them we had to leave immediately or we’d be late for dinner. As soon as we got into the car we looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“Christ Cat! How do you stand them? They’re getting stuffier by the day!” Thomas crowed. “I love them but all that fussing just gets to me after a while.”

When I could talk again I replied. “They’re not like that with me Thomas, only with you.” I said as I caught my breath and rearranged my hair. “I suppose I’m fortunate they don’t pay much attention to me – I can do pretty much what I like.”

Thomas twisted in his seat to look at me and asked, “Does it bother you Cat? That they favour me, I mean.”

“No, it doesn’t, not really. It’s just the way things are. I’m used to it.” I replied.

“It’s a pity because you really deserve more attention than they give you. You’re a special person Cat. I always thought so.” He said.

I gaped at him. I’d never heard him talk that way. I blushed but fortunately it was dark in the car and he couldn’t see. I didn’t know what to say and managed to mumble a thank you. He smiled at me and to my astonishment brushed my cheek lightly with his finger. I felt another hot wave wash over me but this time it wasn’t one of relief it was one of pure desire. A feeling that was immediately followed by one of shame. What kind of girl was I to react that way to my brother’s touch?

Thomas must have sensed my confusion and embarrassment because he started the car and we made our way to the restaurant. As we walked into the restaurant he took my arm and looped it through his. I felt so proud walking into that place on the arm of my handsome brother. My delight came to an abrupt end when I realised that Thomas was well known in this restaurant, so there was a constant stream of people coming over to our table to talk to him. I noticed that most of these people were beautiful women who gushed all over him. They barely gave me a glance once they realised I was just his sister. I was obviously no competition for them. I started the evening feeling beautiful and happy but by dessert I was back to feeling like the drab colourless girl I really was. To my relief, Thomas refused the numerous invitations he received to go out for drinks after the meal. All I wanted was to go home and get out of those ridiculous clothes and wash off my makeup. But I still had the nightclub to endure and I was sure it would be just like the restaurant.

In the end it was much better than I expected. There were many people who knew Thomas but because we were dancing it wasn’t that easy for them to interrupt us. I said a silent prayer of thanks that I’d persevered with dance lessons so I was completely comfortable on the dance floor. After a while other men came up to ask me to dance and I was soon being twirled around, laughing and flirting with several good-looking young men. I noticed that Thomas never strayed too far from me and I thought it was sweet of him to keep an eye on me.

As the evening wore on I danced less and less with Thomas and the other men and more with one particular man. His name was Kyle and he was 27, tall, with dark hair and eyes and the cutest dimple in one cheek. He flirted outrageously with me and paid me extravagant compliments. I had never before been the target of such a concentrated charm offensive and he was sweeping me off my feet. I probably drank more than I was used to because I was flirting right back and acting completely unlike my usual shy self. We found an unoccupied table and he ordered more drinks. As we talked, Kyle was tracing small circles on my knee and moving his hand slowly higher up my thigh. Normally I would have recoiled but tonight I was enjoying the attention and I made no move to stop him.

Suddenly Thomas was at my side telling me we had to leave immediately. I stuttered that I was having a good time and couldn’t we please stay a little longer but he was adamant that we had to leave now. He was completely unlike his normal smiling, charming self. Looking at his grim hard face I had a glimpse of what he must be like to deal with in the business world. This was not a man to cross and I had obviously displeased him.


Catherine & Thomas Ch. 02



After that first weekend with Thomas my life was changed forever. Every waking moment was consumed by thoughts of him and what we did. I didn’t regret making love to my brother but I was plagued with doubts. I couldn’t help but think of the ramifications of our actions. Foremost in my mind was what would happen if our parents found out. I knew it would break their hearts. They would never, could never, understand how Thomas and I feel about each other. How could they? We didn’t really understand it either.


Besides making love, Thomas and I also talked…a lot. He told me about his life, his work, past relationships (I found it impossible not to be jealous when he spoke of other women) but mostly he spoke about us, how he felt about me, and how it all started for him. 

As I said in the first chapter of this story, he is handsome, intelligent, extroverted and very charming. All these qualities (and the fact that he’s financially comfortable) make him a very desirable catch for any woman. For as long as I can remember Thomas has not lacked for female company. He is by no means perfect – he’s prone to arrogance, infuriating stubbornness and on several occasions I’ve seen him treat his girlfriends with a discomfiting lack of regard. As wonderful as he is, he is not Mr. Perfect, nor would I want him to be. The point I’m trying to make is that while Thomas has his faults, he could still have just about any woman he wants. That left me with the question - why did he want me?

Thomas told me he realised a few years ago that his feelings for me went beyond what was acceptable between a brother and sister. Until I was 17 he looked on me purely as his little sister – cute, clever little Cat.

In hindsight, it changed the day he came to visit and our parents were out. Until then our interaction was usually limited to times when one or both of our parents were present too. It was rare that we spent time alone together. That particular day, instead of leaving after a few minutes he decided to wait until our parents returned in a couple of hours. I was in my bedroom reading a book – Anthem by Ayn Rand. Thomas wandered into my room to borrow a book and noticed what I was reading. He’d read the book a few years before and he asked me what I thought of it. That started a conversation about the theme of the book – a society’s attempt to abolish individuality – that led to other topics. The next two hours flew by as we talked about books, religion, philosophy, politics, and just about anything that came to mind. It wasn’t only a serious discussion. We teased each other, traded mock-insults and generally had such a fun time challenging each other that the conversation often deteriorated into helpless laughter.

When our parents arrived home I don’t think I imagined that he was as disappointed as I was that our time alone together had come to an end. Our mother was usually the one who monopolised Thomas’s time and I rarely got a word in sideways when she was present. He and I did manage to spend a bit more time together in the years that followed and those were the years that formed the basis of our relationship. I attributed my eagerness to be in his company to the normal hero-worship of a little sister for her big brother. I learned to ignore my resentment and jealousy of his numerous girlfriends and my relief as each one disappeared from the scene. There were times when I wondered why his relationships never seemed to work out but I concluded that he was probably waiting for Ms. Perfect. That was Thomas’s way – he only wanted the best.

He told me that he found himself eagerly anticipating the moment when he would see me again. The women he normally dated usually didn’t stimulate him intellectually and he liked being able to talk to me about any subject. Then he started noticing the way I looked – my hair, what I was wearing, the way I moved, little gestures I made when talking. It was as if he was discovering a whole new person. For a long time he tried to deny it but eventually he had to face the truth – he was falling in love with me. He was horrified and disgusted with himself and subsequently made a conscious effort to keep away from me. That was made easier when I went to university and he started his rapid ascent in the business world.

I listened intently as he slowly revealed layer after layer of a Thomas I never knew existed. My heart ached for him as he spoke of his frustration and heartache at the hurt he would cause if his love for me were ever exposed.

We spent hours talking about how to deal with the situation and after much discussion we reached the conclusion that we didn’t have a clue! Of one thing Thomas was certain though – he wanted to be with me. Now that he knew I returned his feelings, nothing would stand in his way. Thomas’s intensity scared me. I felt he was being unrealistic about us. He grew up used to getting his way – if it wasn’t given to him he worked until he got what he wanted. He was fiercely competitive and hated losing at anything. I am not like that and I was pessimistic about our future. I couldn’t see any way to make it work.

What made matters worse was that my life had to continue as normal – I went out, spent time with my friends and generally tried to do everything as I did before that weekend. I couldn’t confide in anyone and I tried my best to deal with the conflicting emotions raging in me. On the one hand I felt guilty and ashamed but on the other hand Thomas had awakened a long-dormant passion. I wanted him and had a physical ache to be with him again. Every night I lay awake for hours thinking about him. Scenes of our lovemaking played over and over in my mind - my tongue exploring his hard abdomen with it’s light covering of crisp black hair, his strong hands on my body, his loud cries as he came inside me. All these images, and more, tormented me night after night. I knew that, no matter what my misgivings, I would not be able to resist him the next time.

It was an agonizing three weeks before we saw each other again. We knew we had to be careful not to see each other too soon as this would arouse our parents’ suspicions. Also, Thomas still had a demanding career that took up much of his time. He called whenever he could but talking on the phone couldn’t satisfy our craving for each other.

One day he called and asked me to meet him in town. He had managed to cancel his meetings for the rest of that day and we could finally spend some time alone together. I was nervous, yet ecstatic at the prospect of seeing him again.

We met at a quiet little restaurant not far from his office. I was a little anxious about meeting him so close to his place of work but he assured me that no-one from his office ever went there. We sat at a corner table, away from the windows. At first it was awkward. We toyed with our food and spoke of everyday things. Neither of us seemed capable of broaching the subject that was foremost in our minds. Finally Thomas broke the ice.

“I missed you Cat. I can’t stop thinking about our weekend together.” He said. “Last week I was sitting in my office staring out the window, daydreaming about you instead of doing my work.”

I let out a sigh and said, “I missed you too Thomas. I think about you all the time and these past three weeks away from you have been hell.”

“Well I have good news for you my darling. I figured out a way for us to spend more time together.” He said. “I’m working on a project that should last about three months. We need someone to write user manuals and I think you’re perfect for the job. No, wait.” He said as I opened my mouth to object. “You’re not getting the job because of our relationship, well maybe just a little.” He laughed. “You’re getting the job because you have the skills. You’re intelligent, hardworking, well-organised, educated and you can write.”

“Are you sure about this Thomas?” I asked. “Won’t your colleagues look on this as nepotism? I assume you have an interviewing process and they won’t think it’s fair that you appoint your sister to the position.”

“My team understands the need to do whatever it takes to get the right people for the job and I don’t anticipate any problems. Besides, since I’m now an equal partner in the business, they don’t have much say in who I hire and fire.” Thomas replied.

Thomas’s complete confidence that he was right was a bit unsettling. The thought crossed my mind that one day, what I wanted and what Thomas wanted would be at cross-purposes. Would I then have the strength to stand up to him? I hurriedly brushed that thought aside and instead concentrated on what he was telling me.

The plan was that I would start the following Monday. In order to brief me properly he said it would be best for me to spend the weekend at his place. He grinned naughtily as he said this and I felt myself flush with desire as I looked into his dark laughing eyes.

My desire for him surged through my body. It must have showed in my expression because he slid his hand under the table and started exploring my thigh. I was wearing a short summer dress and it was easy for him to slide his hand far up my leg. I was worried that someone would see but as I glanced around the nearly empty restaurant nobody seemed to be paying us any attention. I parted my legs and allowed Thomas’s exploring fingers easier access. He smiled as he found me already wet. His probing finger slid easily inside me and I fought to stifle a moan of pleasure as he expertly went to work on me.

“You have to stop now Thomas.” I begged. “Someone will see us.”

He didn’t obey immediately but after another minute or so withdrew his hand and to my astonishment he sucked his finger clean! I couldn’t believe that he did that in a public place. Thomas laughed at my astonished expression.

“Finger-licking good!” He said, smacking his lips for emphasis.

I blushed and swatted him playfully as I dissolved into helpless giggles, setting off a bout of laughter in him too. It was so good to laugh again, after all the tensions and doubts of the past few weeks. When we finally stopped he signaled for the bill and a few minutes later we were standing outside in the sunshine.

“Come with me. I have a surprise for you.” He said.

I asked him what it was but all he would say was, “You’ll soon see. Be patient.”

We walked for about 20 minutes until he stopped in front of a small apartment block. He had a set of keys and we entered and went up to the 2nd floor. There were two apartments on that floor. He unlocked one and we stepped inside. It was a small, comfortable place, stylishly furnished but still cosy. I liked it and wondered who lived here.

“Like it?” Thomas asked.

“Yes I do. It’s lovely. Whose is it?” I asked.

“It’s yours.” he replied. “I bought it for you, well, for both of us really. We need a place where we can be alone together. It would be too suspicious if I asked you to move in with me so I thought this was the perfect solution.”

I was speechless. I couldn’t believe he’d bought me an apartment just to be with me. And he wanted me to live with him – Thomas had never had a live-in girlfriend. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea that you move in immediately. I think you should work for about a month and then tell mom and dad that the commute is too much and it would be best if you moved into the city. You’re over 21 and you’ll be earning a salary so they can’t stop you.” He continued blithely. “Until then, we can meet here in the evenings or during the day when we can steal time away from work.”

Thomas obviously had everything worked out and again I felt an uncharacteristic surge of irritation at his complete assurance that I would go along with his plans. I opened my mouth to protest but he cut me off by pulling me close and kissing me passionately.

“Oh my God Cat. I’ve missed you so much.” He muttered in between kisses.

His hands were busy pulling at my clothes and within seconds I was naked. My desire for him overwhelmed everything else and all I wanted was to feel his naked body on mine. Everything else could wait.

Thomas picked me up easily and carried me to the bedroom, where he dropped me onto the large firm bed. I lay back and watched him remove his clothes. The afternoon sun streamed into the room and bathed his body in a golden glow. I was so aroused that I wanted to devour him. 

Soon he stood before me in all his naked splendour. His gaze swept over me, drinking in my nakedness. I sat on the edge of the bed and placing my hands on his hips, I pulled him closer. I looked up at him as I opened my mouth and gave his half-erect penis a tentative lick. His eyes flickered but he said nothing. My tongue swept over the head of his penis and I felt it twitch. I inhaled his male scent and felt another gush of moisture between my legs. I tried to control my excitement because I wanted to take my time enjoying his body.

Grasping his erection with one hand I slowly massaged it to complete hardness. As I did this, I sucked softly on the head, slowly pulling it deeper into my wet, hungry mouth. Thomas was unable to stifle a soft groan as I sucked on him. I gave an inward smile and reveled in the power I had over him. My other hand massaged his balls and his hips moved involuntarily as he thrust his pelvis towards my face. By now I had taken as much of his erection in my mouth as I could and sucking strongly, I slowly pulled back until only the head was left in my mouth. My tongue swirled all around it and I probed the hole as if I was fucking him with my tongue. When I did that he let out a loud groan and I looked up to see his head flung back, eyes closed tightly as his entire being concentrated on what I was doing to him.

I don’t know how much time I spent doing that – the passage of time was meaningless when we were making love. All I could think of was how much I loved having him in my mouth. He tasted more delicious than the sweetest honey and I was intoxicated by the smell and feel of him. My tongue swept over the length of his beautiful penis. I began licking him all over, from the head, down the shaft and over his balls. When I did that he let out a strangled “Oh God” and gripped my head, his fingers tangling in my long hair. I moved back up to his penis and let him hold my head as he slowly and carefully fucked my mouth.

When he could no longer stand it he pulled out and looked down at me, his eyes glazed over with lust. I smiled up at him and licked my lips to show him how much I enjoyed his taste.

“You little vixen.” He grinned. “You love teasing me. Don’t you? You love giving me a hard time.”

We laughed as his unintended pun occurred to us at the same time.

“Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” He said.

He left the bedroom and I heard him moving about in the kitchen. He returned a minute later with a small bowl.

“Well, now it’s payback time sweetie.” He smiled as he said this and my stomach fluttered as I tried to figure out what he would do next.

He reached into the bowl and pulled out an ice cube. I was mystified. What on earth was he doing? I soon had my answer.

He knelt between my legs and gently parted the lips of my pussy. I wriggled a little in anticipation and he gave me another grin. Then he touched the ice cube to my burning pussy and I nearly shot through the roof! He let out a loud laugh at my shocked expression and easily evaded the smack I aimed at him.

“I told you it was payback time.” He said, still laughing. “That’ll teach you to tease me. Now lay still.”

I reluctantly obeyed and watched as he once again touched the ice cube to my pussy. It burned with cold for a few seconds and then I felt Thomas’s hot tongue. He flicked his tongue over my swollen clit and licked the cold away. As I melted under his expert touch he used the ice cube again. For countless minutes he alternated between using his hot tongue and the ice cube. When it melted he simply used another.

The two extremes of the ice and his hot probing tongue were driving me wild. I grabbed handfuls of the duvet cover, arching my back and pressing myself up against his face. My loud moans echoed in the room. I heard a muffled laugh from Thomas as I gave out a particularly loud cry. He was certainly enjoying himself and so was I.

Eventually he stopped and stretched out on top of me. He held me tight as his tongue explored my mouth and we kissed passionately and deeply. I loved the taste of his mouth and aggressively returned his kisses. My hands were all over him and we rolled around on the bed, clutching at each other, desperate to get as close as possible. We would have melted into each other if we could.

Thomas rolled onto his back and lifted me up on top of him. I straddled him and he reached up to cup my breasts. I leaned forward against his hands and rubbed myself over his rock-hard erection.

“Mmmm…that feels so good honey.” He crooned. “Don’t stop. You feel so good.”

Thomas fondled my breasts almost roughly, pinching my nipples and causing me to cry out with pain and enjoyment.

“I want to be inside you.” He said, his voice hoarse with passion. “Ride me baby.”

I reached under myself and grasped his penis. I guided it slowly into me and watched his face as I sank down onto him. I rode him slowly at first – raising myself up until only the head was inside me and then sinking slowly down until the full length was once again inside me. As I raised myself I clenched my vaginal muscles and I saw his eyes widen as I tightened around him. I didn’t have to ask if he liked that!

Thomas grabbed a pillow and propped it under his head, allowing himself a more comfortable position from which to watch me. He watched me with a serious, intense expression that was slightly unnerving. I had a fleeting impression of being enveloped by his intensity and losing myself within him. He broke the moment by reaching up a hand to trace a lazy path from my face down to my breasts where he lingered for several moments touching and pinching lightly. Then his hand traced its way further down over my belly and finally between my legs. I gasped as his fingers slid easily over my moist pussy. He massaged my clit and then groaned as my pussy involuntarily tightened around his penis. He kept this up until he was rubbing roughly at my clit. His other hand was gripping my hip and his fingers dug painfully into my flesh.

Without warning he grabbed my hips and rolled me over so that he was on top of me. He kissed me roughly, bruising my lips. Then, for several minutes he drove himself brutally into me. I cried out in surprise but this did not deter him. He hooked his arms under my knees and pushed my legs up until my thighs were pressed against my breasts. Without pausing, he continued his onslaught. I was taken aback by his brutal pounding but I enjoyed it too. I knew that I could do nothing to stop him (even if I wanted to) and the feeling of helplessness added to the eroticism of the experience.

Thomas suddenly pulled out of me and without saying a word he flipped me over onto all fours. He parted my legs and I felt him push himself into me again. He then continued his relentless fucking. While doing this, he slid a hand between my legs and began stroking my aching clit. I knew he liked feeling me cum while he was inside me.

“Baby…come for me…I want to feel your cunt squeeze my cock…love fucking your hot cunt…”

Thomas’s words spurred me on. I had discovered I liked being spoken to so crudely while we fucked. I would never have tolerated such language normally but when we were in bed…

“Oh Thomas…Thomas…don’t stop please…I’m so close…make me cum…please…”

“Yes Cat…yes baby…I’ll make you cum all over my cock…fuck…oh fuck…your cunt feels so tight…so hot…all I could think about was fucking your sweet…sweet…pussy today…”

Thomas’s fingers worked frantically at my clit and he soon pushed me over the edge. I screamed out loudly as I came, not caring if anyone heard me. Thomas didn’t let up though - he kept playing with my clit until I came again and again. I was almost crying now…it felt so amazing…my entire being was focused on the extraordinary spasms ripping through my body. It couldn’t last forever though…I eventually pulled his hand away because by then I was so sensitive it hurt to be touched.




Catherine & Thomas Ch. 02



Thomas took a firm grip on my hips and fucked me steadily for a few minutes longer. He couldn’t last much longer and his strokes became shorter and harder as he strove to force himself deeper inside me.

“Oh fuck…Cat…I’m cumming! I’m gonna fill your cunt baby!”

He ground out the words as I felt his cock jerk inside me. He cried out as his cock spurted again and again. I held onto the duvet and tried to anchor myself as Thomas slammed into me until he finally finished cumming.

Thomas slumped down onto me, forcing me flat onto the bed and almost crushing me with his weight. I was too tired to try to push him off and we lay like that for several minutes. He rested his head in the crook of my neck and I felt his hot breath on my skin as he tried to breathe normally again. We were hot, sweaty and exhausted…it felt wonderful.

Finally, Thomas groaned as he slowly pulled himself out of me. He flopped over onto his back and let out a loud groan of satisfaction. I turned over and snuggled up against him. We didn’t say anything for a few minutes…just lay there trying to catch our breath.

“Mmmm…that was amazing Cat. It felt like forever since I last had you. Felt so good to be inside you again my darling.” Thomas murmured.

Thomas turned onto his side to face me and cupping my face, he stroked my cheek as he looked at me in the same intense way he had done earlier.

“I love you Cat. You know that. Don’t you?” He said.

“I know Thomas. I love you too, very much.” I said.

When I said that he kissed me deeply and I melted against him as he kissed me expertly and thoroughly. Eventually he pulled away, leaving me quite breathless.

“You belong to me now Cat. I don’t want any other man to have you. I waited long enough for you and I’m not going to let you go.” He continued.

His expression was so serious, almost grim, that for a second I was afraid. He had claimed me as his property and it didn’t seem that I had a choice in the matter. Then he smiled tenderly at me and pulled me close. I didn’t say anything. I just wrapped my arms around him and held him close.

That was the moment I decided that, despite my doubts and the wrongness of our relationship, I wasn’t going to walk away from him. I would do my best to make this work.



Catherine & Thomas Ch. 03



Note to the readers: To all of you who sent me such positive, encouraging, wonderful, amazing feedback…Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I can’t describe how much it meant to me. I’ll do my utmost to continue providing you with the best writing I have to offer.

If you are encountering Catherine and Thomas for the first time in this chapter, I advise you to read the first two chapters before returning to this one. The story makes more sense that way.

Regards…Honey.

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Thomas and I spent the rest of the afternoon making love. We couldn’t get enough of each other. He took me in every room in the apartment and I loved it. Once I made the decision to be with him, the shackles came off and I surrendered fully to the lust raging inside me. I no longer cared that he was my brother. I no longer cared that we would be disgraced if we were found out. None of that mattered anymore. All that mattered was that we were together and that we loved each other.

That evening when we finally left the apartment, I floated home in a haze of happiness and sexual satisfaction. I breezed into the house barely noticing my parents’ greeting and made my way to my bedroom where I crawled into bed and promptly fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion.

The next day was Friday and that evening Thomas was fetching me to spend the weekend with him. I told my parents over breakfast about my new job and they were surprisingly encouraging. My mother took the opportunity to praise Thomas for his generosity in giving me a job though she grudgingly admitted that she was sure I would do well. My father, in his own gentle way, expressed his pleasure over my happiness and wished me good luck. I felt a sudden surge of love for him and impulsively jumped up to give him a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. He laughed and rumpled my hair and we continued with breakfast in a companionable and relaxed atmosphere.

The hours crawled by as I waited for Thomas to arrive. Eventually I went for a run, had a shower and spent about two hours packing and unpacking my bag, changing my mind every five minutes about what clothes to pack. After all that I still had an hour and a half to fill. I wandered into the TV room and settled down to watch a film. Surprisingly I soon found myself engrossed in it and before I knew it I heard Thomas’s voice, greeting our parents. A minute later he sauntered into the room. My heart was hammering in my chest and I took a deep breath to steady myself before speaking.

“Hi Thomas. How are you?” I said as casually as I could.

“Hey Cat. I’m fine, thanks. How’re you doing?” He replied, equally casually.

“Great. Doing well.” I said.

There we were, exchanging inane pleasantries, when what we really wanted to do was tear each other’s clothes off and enjoy one another once again. He looked at me and then slowly, deliberately, his gaze drifted down my body, taking in all of me. My breath caught in my throat as he surveyed me. I knew that he was picturing me naked, the way I was just the day before. He looked up and our eyes met. I tried to convey all my love for him in that one look, though I knew I couldn’t.

The moment was broken when my father walked in. I hurriedly got up, sure that my flustered expression must be a dead giveaway. Thomas, on the other hand, seemed very much in control and merely turned to smile at my father, as he said,

“Typical woman, my sister. Here I am, on time, and she’s lounging around watching TV. She obviously doesn’t know she’s supposed to impress the boss!”

I laughed and threw a cushion at him.

“You’re not my boss until Monday morning Thomas. Until then you’re just my pest of a big brother!”

The last sentence ended in a squeal as he caught the cushion and proceeded to playfully smack me about the head. My father grinned as he watched us. It occurred to me that it had been many years since my father had seen his two children playing and laughing in his home. I felt a sudden stab of guilt at our deception. It wasn’t fair on this kind man that his children were lying to him the way we were. Then I had no more time for reflection as Thomas grabbed me and playfully shoved me towards the door.

“Come on lazy bones! Get upstairs to your room and grab your bags! I have better things to do than stand around waiting for you!

He swatted me on my butt as I ran past him and up to my room. I was in my en-suite bathroom getting the last few toiletries (it’s one of the twisted laws of womanhood that no matter how carefully you pack, no matter how much time you take, there’s always something that, at the last minute, you remember you HAVE to have.).

My back was to the door and I didn’t hear Thomas’s entrance until I felt his arms slip around my waist. I flinched in surprise and instinctively tried to wriggle out of his grasp. I was worried that my parents would walk in on us.

“No Thomas. They might see us.” I hissed at him.

“Don’t worry. They’re in the kitchen. I made sure of that.” He murmured, his lips already caressing my neck.

I was still terrified that our parents would walk in unexpectedly but being enfolded in Thomas’s loving embrace felt too good to abandon. I relaxed against him as he continued kissing my neck. He slipped a hand under my t-shirt and cupped my breast.

“Mmmm…I thought about this all day. I couldn’t wait to see you today. You’re lucky mom and dad are home Cat, otherwise I’d take you hard, here and now.” He growled in my ear.

I trembled as I heard his words, spoken in a voice thick with lust. I couldn’t seem to get enough of hearing him say how much he wanted me. I pushed back against him and he groaned softly. Then he pulled away quickly and swatted me on the butt again.

“Stop teasing me woman! Get your things and let’s get out of here. I can’t wait much longer.”

I laughed, grabbed my bags and we hurried downstairs. Once there we had to endure an endless fifteen minutes of parental chat before being released into the warm summer evening. We forced ourselves to stroll casually to the car and wave to our parents as we drove away.

Thomas waited until we’d left our neighbourhood behind before he reached over, lifted up my skirt and plunged his hand between my hot thighs. I hiked my skirt up further and spread my legs wider for him. His hand groped higher until he encountered my pussy. I glanced over at him and saw his eyes widen when he discovered I wasn’t wearing any panties. His eyes flicked away from the road and down to my lap. He drew in a ragged breath and then forced his eyes back onto the road.

We hadn’t spoken yet and I had no intention of breaking the silence. It felt oddly exciting to sit in silence while he groped me, out in the open. I adjusted my seat so that I could lean back slightly, allowing his questing fingers easier access. He had to change gears frequently and he did so impatiently, eager to get back to what he really wanted…me.

I lay back, closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensations produced by his talented fingers. He stroked me slowly and deliberately, exploring every part of me he could reach. Occasionally there would be a pause and I’d hear soft sucking sounds as he licked his fingers clean. I didn’t look at him – I didn’t want to be “distracted” by seeing anything. All I wanted to do was feel and hear.

By the time we finally arrived at his house on the lake, there was no question about what we would do first. Without bothering to remove my bags from the car, we ran inside the house. The door was hardly closed before I was pinned against the wall, as we frantically tore at each other’s clothes. Buttons popped off his shirt as I impatiently yanked it open. It would’ve taken too much time to unbutton. I couldn’t wait that long. It seemed to take forever to remove all our clothes but at last we were gloriously naked.

We groped and kissed desperately, clumsily, getting in each other’s way in our desire to get closer. The hallway echoed with our animal sounds – grunting, moaning, wet sucking sounds - as our hands and mouths explored necks, shoulders, soft breasts, hard abdomen, and firm silky butt. I sucked, fondled, licked, bit anything I could reach and so did he. We were heedless of hurting each other. Pain, inflicted intentionally or otherwise, was part of the eroticism of our lovemaking.

Eventually we broke apart and he pulled me into the living room. We knew we’d never make it as far as the bedroom so he simply bent me facedown over the back of the couch and without hesitation, plunged his cock deep into me. I struggled to find a way to brace myself under his onslaught. At times he literally fucked me off my feet as his thrusts threatened to push me over the back of the couch. It couldn’t last long and very soon I heard his harsh loud grunts as he built up to what seemed like a titanic orgasm. He slammed his cock brutally into me. I cried out as his fingers dug painfully into my sides. Then he let out an animal cry as the full force of his orgasm hit. It was all I could do just to hold on as he pounded away at my tender, stretched pussy.

When he finally finished he collapsed onto me and we tumbled over onto the couch. We lay in a heap, chests heaving to suck in as much air as possible, the scent of sex heavy in the air. Apart from the occasional soft groan and heavy breathing, we didn’t make a sound. Then we rearranged ourselves into a more comfortable position and I stroked his hot, sweat-soaked skin, relishing the closeness of him. 

He turned my face towards his and kissed me deeply and languorously. I relaxed as his warm wet tongue explored my mouth. As he kissed me, his hand found its way between my legs. He went straight to my clit and began a slow, firm stroking. I uttered soft mewling sounds against his mouth as I thrust my hips against his hand. He kept up his sensuous stroking and within minutes he brought me to my orgasm. It rippled through my body like a warm, heavy, erotic wave and I gave myself over to the rapture. He stopped kissing me and I opened my eyes to see him staring intently at me. I held his gaze as I came, as I shared those amazing eternal seconds with him. When it was over he held me close and I was the first to fall asleep. As I drifted off, I thought I heard him murmur in my ear,

“My beautiful girl. You’re mine forever.”

We slept for a couple of hours and woke to an inky black night sky. We clumsily disentangled our limbs and laughed as we tumbled to the floor. He gave me a wet sloppy kiss and then smacked me on my butt, laughingly ignoring my pretend-outrage.

“C’mon sweet thing. I’m famished. Let’s eat.” He said.

We went to the kitchen, only to find he had no food in the fridge. He ordered a take-out pizza and while we waited, Thomas took me back to the couch and we had a quick but very satisfying fuck. We finished just as we heard the deliveryman pull up to the front door. Thomas quickly fetched a large towel from the bathroom and went to answer the door. I stretched out on the couch and listened to Thomas check and pay for the order. It gave me a thrill to be lying there naked while a perfect stranger stood nearby completely unaware that the man he was talking to had just fucked his own sister.

Thomas entered the room carrying a fragrant box and my stomach rumbled loudly in protest. He threw off the towel and strolled to the kitchen to get plates and napkins.

“It’s a warm night. Let’s sit outside.” He said as returned.

“Ok. Let me throw on some clothes.” I replied.

“Don’t bother.” He said. “No one can see us. That’s why I bought this place. It’s totally private.”

We went outside and settled onto the full-length deck chairs. I sighed contentedly as I found a comfortable position and started on my pizza. We ate in silence for several minutes. I hadn’t eaten the entire day and the strenuous workout he gave me that evening meant I felt like a starving animal.

Once we had taken the edge off our hunger, he brought out a bottle of chilled white wine and two glasses. We sipped the cold sweet wine and as I looked up at the clear night sky, I thought that I was the luckiest woman in the world. I was in love with a wonderful man who, by some miracle, was madly in love with me too. I hadn’t realised that Thomas was watching me. When he saw me smile he asked what I was thinking of.

“I was just thinking about how happy I am right now, being here with you.” I said, giving him a fond smile.

He lifted my hand to his lips and softly kissed my palm.

“I’m glad you’re happy, my love. I love seeing your smile light up your face.” He said in reply.

He leaned over and gave me an affectionate kiss on the cheek. I squeezed his hand in answer and we settled back in companionable silence to finish our meal. When we finished eating Thomas left briefly to fetch my bags from the car. Then he returned to snuggle up to me on my deck chair. I lay half on top of him and the steady thump of his heartbeat was soothing and comforting. Neither of us felt the need to talk. Being together was enough. After a while I dozed off.

I was woken some time later by a warm hand between my legs, fingers inserted deep inside me and working their way slowly in and out. I stirred slightly and Thomas tightened his grip on me. I felt him kiss the top of my head and his warm breath stirred my hair. The night was so quiet that I could hear the soft, wet sounds made by his slow, deep probing. His other hand massaged my back and then made its way further down, over my butt. He lingered there for a while, massaging gently first, then more firmly, until he was squeezing painfully.

I was about to move when he removed his hand. I heard a sucking sound and then his hand returned. He had wet his finger and was now carefully inserting it into my asshole. Instinctively I stiffened but then made a conscious effort to relax and let him have his way. He pushed until his finger was embedded all the way inside me. Now I was filled from both ends.

I had to move now. How could I possibly remain still? I rocked back and forth on his fingers. My head was still on his chest and I could feel his heart hammering away frantically. He slid a second finger into my asshole and probed more insistently. Then he spoke for the first time since waking me.

“Make yourself cum for me Cat.” He whispered.

I needed no further prompting and went to work immediately. It was a bit cramped with all those hands bumping into each other but I wasn’t complaining! I knew that I was close to my orgasm any way. My fingers quickly found just the right spot. My pussy was slick, wet and hot – it was like sinking into hot liquid velvet. By now I was moaning quite loudly and the sounds were magnified across the dark lake.

“Do it baby. Do it. Do it for me.” Thomas urged me on through gritted teeth.

I rubbed my clit hard – being gentle is great at first but if I want to cum, hard is the way to do it. I could feel my orgasm building. The tingling warmth in my groin spread into my belly and from there to the rest of my body. I could feel my body temperature increase. I brought myself to the brink of an orgasm and then lingered there for several agonizingly sweet minutes. I don’t know what it’s like for other women, but for me, those few moments just before I reach my orgasm is almost better than the actual orgasm. I teeter on the edge of a colossal explosion and the tension in my body is nearly unbearable. I don’t want it to end.

I finally tipped over the edge and screamed (yes screamed!) as I came all over his hand. His fingers were still deep inside me and he told me later it felt like they were tightly encased in velvet-covered steel. He withdrew his fingers and held me tightly as I shuddered in the aftermath of what was a tremendous orgasm. He stroked my hair, planting soft kisses on my head. When I finally calmed down I realised how thirsty I was and reached for my wine glass to drink deeply of the still cool wine.

“That was amazing Thomas!” I exclaimed, in between drinking the wine. “You can wake me up like that any time you want!”

Thomas’s rich laugh boomed out into the darkness.

“Oh no! I’ve created a monster!” He crowed. “Somebody help me please!”

“I’ll help you alright.” I said and then proceeded to show him exactly how.

I moved down to straddle his legs and without hesitating I engulfed his cock in my wine-cooled mouth. He was interrupted mid-laugh and let out a strangled gasp.

“Oh…my…God.” He whispered hoarsely.

He was already hard from our previous interlude and badly in need of release. I knew I wouldn’t have to wait too long. I sucked him in as far as I could, my tongue bathing his succulent cock as I did so. He pumped his hips, driving himself even deeper into my mouth so that I nearly gagged. I withdrew slightly so that I could comfortably manage him and then resumed doing what I loved so much.

His warm musky scent filled my nostrils and excited me even more. I loved that secret, intimate scent and it excited me as much a touch or a kiss. It was the essence of Thomas and it was all mine. The initial shock he experienced of being inserted into my wine-chilled mouth was soon replaced by enveloping warmth as his hot organ heated my mouth. I used my lips, tongue and my entire mouth to explore every part of his cock.

I can’t understand how any woman could not love doing this. Sucking on a man’s cock, especially that of the man you love, is one of the most erotic experiences a woman can have. There is the exquisite contrast of steely hardness covered by satiny soft skin. He is completely in my power. Taking him to the peak of erotic pleasure is my ultimate aim and the journey there is an intensely pleasurable one for both of us. I reluctantly left Thomas’s cock to pay attention to his undoubtedly aching balls. I licked him lovingly, eliciting louder gasps from Thomas.

“Oh Cat! How…how do you know what feels so….oh God…what feels so good? Please don’t stop…ohhhhh…your mouth…so hot…feels amazing…don’t stop.” He begged, spurring me on even more.

I returned to his cock and licked it all over, alternating between gentle caressing with just the tip of my tongue and harder strokes as if I was licking an ice-cream cone. Whatever I did, he certainly seemed to appreciate it, judging by the noise he was making. Then I took the head into my mouth and resumed sucking strongly, pausing only to plunge my tongue into his hole (something he said he particularly enjoyed).

“I’m cumming Cat. Don’t stop baby. I’m nearly there.”

I had no intention of stopping. I would take him all the way. Using one hand I massaged the shaft of his cock as I continued sucking. I tasted his precum and couldn’t wait for more. I didn’t have to wait long. He grabbed a handful of my hair and tugged painfully, driving his hips up to get more of his cock into my mouth. He cried out and seconds later my mouth was filled with his hot, bittersweet cum. My head bobbed up and down on his cock as he pulsed in my mouth. I swallowed everything he gave me.

His hips continued bucking involuntarily as he came down from his orgasm. I held him in my warm mouth, not sucking or licking, just holding his sensitive cock - I felt it twitch every few seconds. I looked up at him. His eyes were closed and his chest heaved as he sucked in air. His hands were still entangled in my hair and, cupping my head, he gently pulled me off him. I stretched out on top of him and we lay there for a while, limbs entangled in warm, sweaty, aromatic bliss (I love the smell of sex).

Before we could fall asleep again I dragged myself off him and pulled on his hands until he reluctantly got to his feet. We went inside to the bedroom and curled up under the covers. I held him close as we drifted off to sleep.

I woke to a bright sunny morning. Thomas was still asleep and I took the opportunity to enjoy a long hot shower on my own. When I returned to the bedroom Thomas was just waking up and I noticed that he seemed to reach out instinctively for me before his eyes were even open. He jerked fully awake when he realised I wasn’t there, only relaxing when he saw me watching him, a smile on my face.




Catherine & Thomas Ch. 03



“For a moment I thought you’d left.” He murmured, treating me to the sight of his heartwarming little boy smile, the one he only gave in his most unguarded moments.

My heart gave a painful squeeze. At that moment I loved him so much I think I would’ve killed for him. I was overwhelmed with emotion and distracted myself by turning away to towel my hair. He got up and sleepily ambled over to kiss me good morning. I returned his kiss and we held each other for a moment. It gave me the opportunity to regain my composure.

I dried my hair and dressed while Thomas showered and once he was dressed, we enjoyed a leisurely breakfast out on the deck. It was then I discovered that we actually would be doing some work over the weekend. He told me that he wanted to spend the afternoon briefing me on the project I would start on that Monday. After breakfast I unpacked my bags, Thomas gathered his papers and we settled down to work. It was an interesting project and I had good reason to believe that I would enjoy working at his company.

We spent the rest of the day working and that evening drove into town to see a movie and go to dinner. No, there was no in-the-dark cinema blowjob, no under-the-table groping in the restaurant. It was simply a normal fun dinner-and-a-movie date. For a few hours we forgot that we were brother and sister and simply enjoyed ourselves like any other couple.

It couldn’t last of course. We emerged from the restaurant, laughing at a stupid, corny joke I’d related. I was still giggling when I felt Thomas stiffen at my side. I looked up to see Kyle approaching us. He hadn’t called me after my birthday and I hadn’t given it a thought until now. He walked towards us, smiling broadly, at me, not Thomas, I couldn’t help but notice.

“Hello Catherine! How wonderful to see you again. I’m so sorry I haven’t called you yet. It’s just been so hectic at work. Can you ever forgive me? Hi Thomas, nice to see you too.” The last sentence was a throwaway comment to Thomas, as he flashed me a brilliant, dimpled smile.

Before I could reply, Thomas stepped in.

“Hello Kyle. Good to see you too. Are you out on your own? Where’s that lovely young woman you’ve been escorting around town recently? She left you already?” Thomas smiled to take the edge off his words.

Kyle blinked in surprise and I saw a flash of anger before he covered it up with another of his charming smiles. He chose to ignore Thomas’s comment and instead turned to me again.

“How are you Catherine? It’s very good to see you again.”

“I’m well thank you Kyle.” I smiled warmly at him, trying to make up for Thomas’s rudeness. “How are you? You’re looking well.”

I didn’t dare look at Thomas. I knew he didn’t like Kyle but I did, despite Thomas’s warning about Kyle’s womanizing ways. I wasn’t interested in being his girlfriend - I liked his sense of humour and light-hearted manner and hoped that maybe we could be friends one day.

We spent an awkward five minutes chatting. Well, it was awkward for me because I could feel Thomas’s anger radiating over us. Kyle seemed oblivious of the effect he was having on Thomas because he talked easily, peppering his conversation with funny quips. Despite the tension, I had to stifle my laughter several times. Kyle really was very funny. We finally parted, with Kyle once again promising to call me soon.

Thomas was fuming. He didn’t say a word as we walked to the car and then drove off. I didn’t know what to say and instead decided prudently (I thought) to remain silent. I didn’t know why Kyle made him so angry but whatever the reason he had to learn to deal with it. I sensed Thomas relaxing as we drove and after a while we were chatting casually and easily again.

We made love that night or rather I should say we fucked that night. Thomas took me brutally, hurting me several times. He didn’t seem to care if I enjoyed it or not. I had the feeling he was reclaiming me. From what or whom I don’t know. I was completely his. There was no one else for me. Didn’t he realise that?

Sunday was much better. We lazed in the sun, reading our books and newspapers. I was relaxed again and neither one of us referred to the events of the previous evening. There was an unspoken agreement to let it go…for now at least. We didn’t make love that day, but we did share frequent kisses and touches. He brushed against me as we worked in the kitchen. I squeezed his shoulder in passing. The casual touching, unthinking caressing, were reassuring to me. It was still ok between us.

The next day was Monday - my first day in my new job. After Thomas dropped me off at home I had time to think about the implications of working with him. For the first time it occurred to me how difficult it would be to hide my feelings for him while we worked so closely together. The thought that someone could find out about us made my blood run cold. I determinedly shook off the frightening thoughts and went to bed in an effort to get some rest before the week ahead.

Chapter 4 teaser: I arrive at my new job and get a big surprise.



Catherine & Thomas Ch. 04



The individual chapters of the story of Catherine & Thomas are not meant to be read on their own. Please read the preceding three chapters otherwise the events of this chapter won't make much sense. It's been more than three years since I wrote chapters 1 to 3 and while I strived to remain consistent in the characterisation and storyline, the style of writing has changed somewhat. The sex scene in this chapter is not as explicit as in the previous chapters and instead concentrates on the emotional rather than the purely physical aspects. Please forgive any inconsistencies...as I said, it's been three years.

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On Monday morning I woke up an hour earlier than I had to because I was terrified of being late for work. I could have stayed over with Thomas on Sunday night and driven in to work with him but decided against it as I felt I needed to do this on my own. Having to deal with him as well as mentally preparing myself for my first job would have been too much for me. As it was, I was a bundle of nerves. I took one look at the outfit I'd carefully prepared the night before and realised that it was all wrong. I wasted the next half an hour trying on and discarding several outfits. Eventually I took a deep breath and sternly told myself to stop being such a baby. Being nervous was understandable but this was just ridiculous. Nothing irritates me more than people who fuss unnecessarily and here I was, doing just that.

After I calmed down I took a cool, critical look at my clothes and selected an outfit that I thought was professional yet not too stuffy. I set off about half an hour earlier than I needed to, just in case there were any delays with the trains. The 45 minute journey into the city was uneventful and I had forgotten to bring a book so there was plenty of time to brood over how I would deal with Thomas in his working environment. I suspected he would be a very different person at work to the person I knew as a brother and a lover. How would I deal with that? Could I look at him purely as an employee looks at a boss? Would people suspect our relationship ran deeper than that of siblings? These and many more questions raced through my mind. By the time I reached my destination I had worked myself into a fine state of terror. I was so terrified that I crossed over the line into a state of relative calm. I couldn't get any more scared so the only alternative was to calm down.

I took advantage of the short walk to Thomas's office to do some deep breathing and prepare myself for the day ahead. I decided that the best way to deal with this was to handle one thing at a time. First manage the entry and greeting at reception, then worry about the elevator ride to Thomas's office, then...well...you get the point. It helped a little. By the time I arrived I was merely scared, as opposed to being terrified to the point of being a gibbering wreck.

The receptionist was pretty and perky, smiled relentlessly and looked like a Candy.

"Hi!! Welcome to X-Factor!! How are you today?? My name is Cindy!! How may I assist you??"

Cindy...Candy...what's a vowel between friends? Cindy had, in one sentence, used up the national allotment of exclamation marks. Still, at least she was friendly. I was so mesmerised by the gleaming display of orthodontics on display in Cindy's beaming mouth that all I could do stare at her stupidly. Cindy was unused to such a reticent response to her perkiness. Her beaming grin wavered uncertainly and I could see her wondering if she should call security to get this weird woman out the building. I snapped out of my trance and managed a weak smile in return.

"Hi. I'm Catherine Rosslyn. I start work today with Thomas Rosslyn?" I said uncertainly.

"Oh hi!" Cindy's perkiness factor had just shot back up to 10. "That's so great! Welcome! It's so nice to meet you! Rosslyn? Are you related to Thomas?"

I faltered a little under the torrent of words but decided that I liked her after all. At least she was happy to see me.

"Thank you. Yes I'm related to Thomas. He's my brother." I replied.

"Cool! That's so cool! I didn't know he had a sister!" Cindy beamed at me. 

"Uh...ok...um...could you tell me where I have to go please?" I asked when nothing other than the blinding smile was forthcoming.

"Oh! Sorry!" Cindy giggled. "You have to go to the sixth floor and speak to Melissa? She's Thomas's PA? She can assist you?"

As sweet as she was, this short exchange with Cindy was exhausting and I made a dash for the elevators. 

"Wait, Catherine! You have to get a security pass first!" Cindy called after me.

Five minutes later, with my brand new security pass dangling from my lapel, I was on my way up to the sixth floor. Melissa turned out to be a competent-looking middle-aged woman who was all business. She directed me to take a seat, handed me a stack of forms with a crisp instruction to "complete and sign ALL forms please". I was almost too afraid to ask for a pen, in case she gave me detention.

I was so immersed in the forms that I didn't hear the doors to the office behind Melissa open.

"Good morning Catherine. I'm glad to see that you're early."

Thomas's deep voice seemed to boom in my ear and I immediately spilled all my forms onto the floor at his feet. He chuckled as I scrambled to gather all the papers and stagger to my feet. My face burned as I looked up at him. So much for making a good impression on my first day.

"Are you done with those?" He asked, pointing at my forms.

"Um...nearly." I replied nervously. He looked so handsome in his expensive tailor-made suit.

"All right. Finish up and then join me in my office. Melissa, please bring in two coffees once Catherine has joined me."

Then he turned and disappeared into his office. I finished the forms and handed them nervously to Melissa, who looked at me like she just knew I'd filled them out all wrong. I fairly scuttled into Thomas's office.

The door had barely shut behind me when I was grabbed and enfolded in a crushing embrace. My gasp of surprise was cut off by Thomas's warm mouth closing over mine. He kissed me passionately and expertly and when he released me after about a million years later I felt like my feet would never touch the ground again.

"I missed you last night Cat. I woke up wanting you so badly. You look so sweet this morning I could eat you up."

His wolfish grin told me exactly what he meant by that last comment! I felt a responsive warmth between my legs and was mildly shocked at my easy arousal. If this was how I felt after barely fifteen minutes in this job how would I cope with seeing him every day, all day? Thomas walked to his desk as if nothing had happened and smilingly beckoned me to the chair across from him. I was saved from replying by a discreet knock at the door. Melissa entered at Thomas's command, carrying a tray bearing a fragrant pot of coffee. She poured our coffee and made a soundless exit. The woman was scary. Thomas took a sip of coffee and suddenly was all business.

"Cat, I'm glad you're here. I really think this job is right for you and I want you to know I have faith in your abilities. This is a fast-paced ruthless industry and I'm always looking for talented people who have the vision and drive to rise above the average. I work my people hard and I drive myself even harder. Your official hours are 9am to 5pm but I expect you to work whatever hours are required to get the job done. I'll do you no favours because you're my sister, so don't expect special treatment. There are those who'll resent that you're my sister and will assume that you got the job for that reason only. I trust that your work will prove them wrong. I'm a hard boss, but a fair one I hope. If you have any problems, talk to me, but first try to sort them out on your own. Use your first day to settle in and tomorrow you'll be given your first assignment. Any questions?"

I was speechless in the face of his verbal onslaught. The Thomas I knew and loved was gone, replaced by a stern frightening stranger. He saw my obvious terror and his expression softened somewhat.

"I know this is all new and frightening and that you need to adjust to our working relationship but trust me, the sooner you think of me as a boss and not a brother...or anything else...the better." He said in a kinder tone.

I couldn't help but flash back to the very un-bosslike kiss he'd given me at the door. The man was a mind-reader because his next words were, 

"I know that my good morning kiss contradicts what I just said but I'm only human after all!" he grinned. "Grant me a moment of weakness in the presence of my beautiful sexy lover."

I blushed deeply and tried unsuccessfully to hide my pleasure at his words. Our little "moment" was interrupted by the buzzing of his intercom. Melissa announced that "the team" was waiting for Thomas in the boardroom.

"I'll be there in five Melissa." Thomas told her.

We finished our coffee as Thomas gave me a brief overview of his team. As CEO of the company he had assembled a team of people who represented, to him, the cream of the crop. They were drawn from various departments and from all levels of the company structure. What they all had in common were their high IQ's, ambition, talent and their uncompromising belief in their own superiority. They were convinced that the next big thing in the industry would stem from one of their brilliant ideas. He liked their hunger and their relentless ambition and used them ruthlessly to his company's benefit.

"Come with me. You should meet the team." Thomas said.

I scuttled after him, struggling to keep up and negotiate the deep carpeted hallway in my new high heels. No one told me that the first professional challenge I would encounter was to not fall flat on my face. We entered the boardroom and the buzz of chatter subsided. The group scattered around the enormous boardroom table rose noisily to their feet and greeted Thomas in an uncoordinated chorus of "morning, hi and how ya's". They were an odd looking bunch. I was too shy to stare openly so I glanced briefly at each person as I was introduced.

Kevin was a tall gangly blond man in his mid-twenties. He wore rimless spectacles that he continually pushed up the bridge of his nose. He smiled shyly and mumbled a greeting. Veronica was dark and intense and looked like she was in her early thirties. She radiated a fierce intelligence and barely glanced at me. She seemed impatient to get on with things. Mark was a cheerful redhead, also in his twenties, who flashed a brilliant grin and welcomed me effusively. Lucille, the last member of the team, was a pleasant-looking woman in her late twenties who greeted me with a sweet smile.

After the introductions were over Thomas motioned for us to take our seats and the meeting began. They seemed to have an established routine because Veronica started right off the bat. The rest of the team, and Thomas, listened attentively as she rattled off a stream of technical jargon, not a word of which I understood. I was starting to panic a little when the door burst open and a loud cheerful voice rang out.

"Good morning everyone! I apologise for being late but you know how it goes...fun and games on the weekend and then the battle to get out of bed on a Monday morning!"

Thomas turned to the newcomer with a face like thunder and I felt the tension in the rest of the team. The voice behind me sounded familiar and I turned my chair to see...Kyle?? What on earth was he doing here? Neither he nor Thomas had mentioned that they worked together. What was going on here?

Kyle grinned cheekily at Thomas and sauntered into the room. Glancing around at the people at the table he caught sight of me. It didn't seem possible but his grin widened further.

"Catherine! What a wonderful surprise! It's about time we added another rose to this bunch of thorns."

Those corny words from anyone else would have seemed inane but he was so charming and light-hearted that I couldn't help but smile shyly in response.

"Late, as usual, Kyle." Thomas growled. He was not charmed by Kyle. "Sit down please. Veronica was bringing us up-to-date on the results of her latest round of bench-mark tests. He turned away abruptly and motioned to Veronica to continue. She wavered, glancing uncertainly at Kyle and then back to Thomas.

"Continue Veronica." Thomas said sternly.

Veronica cleared her throat and took up presumably where she'd left off before Kyle's dramatic entrance.

Kyle slumped into the chair next to mine and squeezed my knee in a friendly greeting. I blushed and clumsily turned slightly away from him. Thomas glared furiously at both of us and I flushed with embarrassment. It wasn't my fault that Kyle was an outrageous flirt yet I felt guilty under Thomas's remorseless glare. To his credit, Kyle sensed my discomfort and left me alone throughout the rest of the meeting. As soon as the meeting ended and the others were busy leaving, he immediately turned to me with a smile.

"What are you doing here Catherine? Thomas knows how to keep a secret, I'll grant him that. He never once mentioned that you would be working here. Probably didn't want to give me anything to look forward to." He laughed infectiously.

I responded once again to his warmth and flirtatious manner and smiled shyly in return.

"I'm here to assist with documentation on the new project. I must say, it's all so intimidating. So far I haven't understood a word anyone's said at this meeting." I confessed.

"Don't worry about it Catherine. If you're anything like your brother you'll soon catch on. Thomas wouldn't have hired you if he didn't think you were capable." He said.

I was taken aback at his obvious sincerity and thoughtful response and felt oddly comforted.

"But what are you doing here Kyle?" I asked. Why didn't you or Thomas tell me you worked here too?"

"Because it would be hard to define what he does here as actual 'work'" Thomas said, appearing at my side.

"Kyle bought a large chunk of shares in the company when we listed and unfortunately feels that that entitles him to hang about our offices, bothering the female employees." Thomas continued snidely, without a trace of humour to soften his sharp words.

Kyle's light-hearted manner dropped for a moment and I glimpsed a steely undertone to his character.

"Now Thomas, remember that you are talking to a major shareholder. One who, furthermore, has an actual say in the major decision-making in this company. Need I remind you of our deal?" Kyle replied in an equally humourless tone.

The two men glared at each other and I felt small and insignificant, trapped between them. Thomas grinned suddenly, baring his teeth in a smile devoid of all warmth and humour.

"I could never forget our deal Kyle. Trust me. I think of nothing else whenever I see you." Thomas replied, his scary smile never wavering.

I cleared my throat and both men suddenly became aware of me again. Kyle slipped on his cloak of charm in an instant and took my hand.

"You must have lunch with me today Catherine. We can have a proper conversation, uninterrupted by dull work matters." Kyle said, his smiling eyes focused on me once more.

"She has lunch plans already Kyle. You'll have to ask someone else to lunch." Thomas interrupted before I could say anything.

I was annoyed and embarrassed. Why did he think it was alright to speak on my behalf? I knew he disliked Kyle intensely but that didn't give him the right to make decisions on my behalf. He was treating me like a child and I was not happy about that.

Kyle didn't protest and instead told me that there were many other lunch dates that we could share. He kissed me lightly before I could turn away, flashed a cheeky grin at Thomas and stalked out of the room. I was left alone with Thomas, blushing furiously and not knowing what to say.

"Stay away from him Catherine. I won't tell you again." He told me through gritted teeth and walked out, leaving me alone with my mouth hanging open in shock and fury.

How dare he? He treated me like he owned me and I had no say over my own life. I was trembling with fury and thought it best to stay away from Thomas for a while, in case I said something rash and it ended up in a huge fight. Of course, that also meant I couldn't ask him where I should go now and what was expected of me. I stood there for a moment longer and then ventured outside into the hallway. To my surprise Veronica was waiting outside.

"You can come with me." She said and abruptly turned away and walked off, obviously expecting me to follow without question. I followed quickly, feeling more and more miserable with each step. This was definitely not what I had imagined my first day would be like. This was awful. I was close to tears.

We wound our way through seemingly endless hallways and offices. Occasionally Veronica paused to introduce me to someone or point out something of significance. I instantly forgot the names of everyone I met and barely glanced where she pointed. We entered her cluttered office and she waved a vague hand around the room and told me to find a chair. I sat down and wished with all my heart that I was somewhere else. My misery must have been written plainly on my face because Veronica's usually fierce expression softened into one of sympathy.

"First days are always difficult, especially when the bull moose insist on fighting in front of the newbies." She remarked dryly.

I laughed involuntarily, surprised at her unexpected kindness and sense of humour. I also liked that she hadn't censored herself because she was talking to the boss's sister.

"Thank you." I replied shyly. "It's all rather confusing. I don't know what I should be doing or what is expected of me."

"I know. They do that to all the newbies. They like to see who will sink and who will swim." Veronica said.

She walked over to a bookshelf groaning under the weight of books and disks and other objects I couldn't identify. She extracted a stack of documents and CD's and handed them to me.

"Read through these. They summarise the project and its goals and are a good place to start. Don't worry about the stuff you don't understand immediately. Most technical documents are written by geeks who can't seem to understand that non-geeks have to read their work too. And I say that as a proudly self-confessed geek." She said with a lopsided smile that brought charming warmth to her normally stern face.

"Thank you. Thank you very much." I said sincerely.

"Oh I doubt you'll be thanking me once you're wading through all of that." She waved off my gratitude and was once again all business. "There's a workstation outside that you can use. Laura, the office manager, has set out office supplies and Manny will be along shortly to setup your network access and mail account. The kitchen is to the left and the ladies room is two doors down. Let me know if you need anything." She said, already turning away to get on with her work.

I thanked her again and made a rapid exit, clutching my stack of papers and disks. I looked around and then spotted my workstation. After grabbing a cup of coffee I settled down to read through what Veronica had given me. I soon realised why she said I shouldn't thank her. Apart from the subject matter, which was unfamiliar to me, the writing style was verbose and overly laden with jargon. I struggled to grasp the essence of what I was reading but I knew I had to persevere. I couldn't let Thomas down, and more importantly, I couldn't let myself down. I was determined to prove to myself that I could do this. I worked steadily throughout the day, pausing only when Manny arrived to setup my access to the company's network. He was friendly in a remote kind of way and seemed not the least interested in who I was or why I was there.




Catherine & Thomas Ch. 04



Instead of going out for lunch I popped downstairs to a nearby café and bought a sandwich and fruit juice and ate at my desk as I read and made notes. Before I knew it 5pm had arrived. I glanced around and few people were making any attempt to leave. I didn't want to be one of the first to leave so I worked for a while longer, until about half the people had left. Veronica came out of her office and seemed surprised to still see me there.

"It's good that you're not a clock-watcher Catherine but take it easy on your first day. You'll have plenty of opportunities to work late, I promise you." She said, her lopsided smile flitting briefly over her face.

I smiled in return and gathered my bags. I said goodnight and made my way to the elevators. I didn't expect to see Thomas until the next day so I was startled to see him downstairs at the front desk, talking to Cindy. He looked up as I approached and then finished what he was saying to Cindy, who gazed adoringly at him.

I was confused. I didn't know if he expected me to wait for him or not. I decided that he was probably still mad at me so I walked past him on my way to the front door. He reached out and grabbed my arm as I passed.

"Wait a moment Cat." He said, not looking at me. He finished his conversation with Cindy and then turned to me.

"Come with me." He said, not wasting any words.

I didn't want to go with him but didn't want to make a scene so I followed meekly. We walked to the employee parking area and he unlocked his car. Obviously he expected me to get in and I did. He drove out of the parking area, still not saying a word to me. We drove in silence until we reached the apartment he'd bought. He parked the car and got out, again expecting me to follow without question, and again, I did. It was only when we were inside that he reacted. He turned to me so abruptly that I flinched, half expecting him to strike me, even as I knew he wouldn't do such a terrible thing.

His eyes softened as he noticed my reaction and in an instant his arms were around me, drawing me close. He brought his mouth down on mine and we kissed for an endless time, lost in enjoyment of each other. All my anger and resentment of the day faded away, obliterated by his overwhelming passion. I loved him, he loved me and here in our little world everything was perfect.

He kissed me till my lips were swollen and tender and still I wanted more. How could I ever have enough of this beautiful man? He tugged at my clothes and they seemed to fall off me effortlessly. Within moments my carefully chosen outfit was a puddle of fabric on the floor. I was completely naked and he was still fully clothed. Somehow that made it more exciting.

He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom, where he laid me gently on the bed. He stepped back and simply gazed at my nakedness, drinking me in with his eyes. I had a fanciful thought that he was memorising my body in case he never saw me again. He undressed slowly, never taking his eyes off me. I lay back and enjoyed seeing his naked body appear as he undressed. He was a beautiful sight. His long, strong muscular body was a delight to behold and I looked with appreciation at his handsome erection.

Before he could join me I scrambled forward to sit at the end of the bed, facing him. I grasped his hips and drew him close, engulfing him in my mouth without hesitation. He groaned loudly and buried his hands in my hair, gently urging my head closer. I loved when he did that. I sucked deeply on his lovely cock, savouring once more the smell and taste of him. The only sounds in the room were that of his soft moaning, the wet sounds of my mouth loving him and the involuntary sounds of pleasure I made as I took him. I continued loving him with my mouth until he pulled away reluctantly.

"I don't want to cum yet." He murmured, slightly dazed with lust.

He kneeled in front of me and spread my legs. Without preamble he buried his face between my legs and darted his tongue into the hot wetness of my pussy. I gasped and fell backwards, drawing my feet up onto the bed. He was encouraged by this and drove his tongue deeper inside me. At the same time his thumb caressed my already swollen clit, sending wave after wave of sheer pleasure coursing through my body.

I grasped Thomas's head and roughly pulled him closer, urging his tongue deeper inside me. He chuckled into me and did not resist, instead growing more enthusiastic. His tongue licked me all over, every now and again darting inside me. His fingers stroked me all the while, never letting up on their skilful pleasuring. I heard him inhale deeply and then he said, 

"I love your scent, your taste. You're all woman. My woman." He said huskily.

I thrilled at his words and wanted him all the more. I ground against his face and responded as passionately. His fingers stroked my clit until I couldn't take anymore. I came with a scream, arching my back and pulling hard on his hair. He held on and drove his tongue deep inside me, licking up the fluid of my orgasm. I came down from my shattering orgasm, my legs flopping uselessly off the end of the bed. I drew in deep rasping breaths, my hands caressing my thighs, my belly and my breasts.

Thomas rose and gently pulled me further up the bed. His lips glistened with my juices and I drew his head down so that I could kiss him. He stretched out on top of me and kissed me deeply. As he did so he tenderly parted my legs and settled between them, his strong hands drawing my legs around him, clamping his body against mine. He rocked slowly and carefully against me, enfolding me in his arms, as his tongue explored my mouth. I was like putty in his hands.

He was hard, so hard and I felt the length of that hardness rubbing gently at the soft wetness between my legs. He made no attempt to enter me; all he did was rock slowly back and forth, rubbing his erection in my heat and wetness. 

Just when I thought I couldn't stand it any more he slipped effortlessly into me. He kept up the slow, smooth rocking motion, only this time he drove his gorgeous cock deeper into me with each stroke. I sighed with profound satisfaction as he inserted himself fully into me. His hands moved down my body to my butt, which he grasped firmly and then suddenly, he pulled me even closer, his thrusting becoming more urgent.

His mouth sought my swollen nipples and he sucked deeply on each one in turn, making me moan louder and urge him on in his pleasuring of me. He continued his delicious thrusting motions as his hands and mouth explored whatever part of me could be reached. Usually an active partner, this time all I could do was enjoy what he was doing. I was lost in his lovemaking.

His thrusting became more urgent and I knew he was close to his orgasm. He slammed into me several times and I gasped with delight at each almost brutal thrust. He came strongly and cried out as his orgasm rolled on and on. He buried his face in my shoulder and bit down hard on me. I cried out in pain and my vaginal muscles must have clutched him tighter because he groaned louder and banged into me even harder than before. Thankfully he'd stopped biting though!

As he came down from his orgasm he kissed my mouth gently for a while, before his kisses moved to my neck, his lips seeking the sensitive spot on my neck that he knew drove me crazy. He ran his tongue lightly over my skin, causing what felt like an electric jolt to run through me. I gasped as he sucked on my skin and I whispered my love to him.

"I love you too Cat." He breathed against my skin. "I love you more than anyone in the world. You're mine forever and I'm yours forever. We belong together. We're soul mates my love. Promise me you'll never leave me. Promise me Cat."

In that moment it was an easy promise to make. One I made lightly and without thought of the consequences.

"I'll never leave you Thomas, never." I whispered to him. And I truly meant it.



Catherine & Thomas Ch. 05



This story is taking me to unexpected places and as a result the focus has moved almost entirely away from sex. You won't find any kinky sex scenes in this or probably future chapters either. I'll still keep the stories in the Incest/Taboo category for the sake of continuity. I'm interested to find out what will happen to Catherine and Thomas and I hope you are too.

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I had survived my first day at work and what a day it was. Discovering Kyle was Thomas's business partner, fighting with Thomas (well, he fought and I fumed impotently) and then making up after work at his, our, apartment. My second day at work was slightly easier and the day after that even easier. Days turned into weeks and I experienced a warm feeling of contentment when I realised that, not only was I coping, but that my standard of work was acceptable to my colleagues. I had achieved a grudging acceptance from X-Factor employees that I was there on my own merits, rather than because of my family connections.

Another (pleasant) surprise was my budding friendship with Veronica. Her stern façade hid a kind heart and a razor-sharp wit. Working in a male-dominated environment for years meant that she'd learnt to keep her "girly" qualities under wraps. Most people we worked with considered her humourless and plain. I eventually realised that she didn't feel compelled to impress others with her intelligence and knowledge. She got on with the job and did it brilliantly, without fuss or bother. The fact that she was a lesbian didn't make things easier for her. She shrugged off the "dyke" jokes though I sometimes spotted a flush to her cheeks that betrayed her anger. She told me early on in our friendship about her orientation.

"They'll be queuing up to warn you...um excuse me...tell you, so you might as well hear it from me. I'm a lesbian. I always knew I was into women and I don't care who knows it. If anyone has a problem with that then that's all it is...their problem, not mine. And FYI...I'm not into you. You're not my type. I like cute bubbly blondes and as beautiful as you are, you just don't do it for me. Understood? Any questions? No? Good. Now let's talk about something interesting."

And that was the entire lesbian talk.

I grew to enjoy my job and was secretly relieved that I didn't have to work closely with Thomas. We weren't even on the same floor and had yet to share a lunch break. When he did go out for lunch it was always to entertain a client or meet with one of his many business associates. We did not move in the same circles. I saw Kyle fairly regularly though. Whenever he was in the office he made a point of visiting me and always stayed for a few minutes to chat and flirt. We went out for lunch a few times and I was careful not to let Thomas see us. I assumed he'd probably hear about it through the office grapevine but he never mentioned it so I assumed that he had decided to bite the bullet on this one. I felt proud of myself for standing my ground, albeit in a sneaking around kind of way.

One day Kyle asked me out, on a "proper" date. He was endlessly amused at what he perceived as my innocence and naïveté. Naïve I might have been but I was certainly not innocent, though he didn't need to know that. I told him I'd think about it and for once he was taken aback. I don't think any woman had ever told him that before. He soon recovered his poise.

"Ok, let me know. You have my number." He flashed me a smile and was gone.

I was in a quandary. I was in a relationship with Thomas but couldn't tell anyone. I couldn't tell Kyle why I couldn't go out with him. And, yes, I was curious about what it would be like to date him. He was so handsome and charming and funny. I thought that I would enjoy being his date, even if for one night only. I decided to put off making a decision (procrastination is not always a dirty word) and put my faith in the "somehow I'll know what to do" school of thought.

Two days after he asked me out I found myself in a meeting where Thomas and Kyle were both present. This seldom happened and when it did it was never comfortable. The tension in the air was palpable and everyone in the room was on their best behaviour. None of us wanted to be the cause of a fight. I was curious about why Thomas hated Kyle so intensely. Surely they must have been on reasonably amicable terms at some point? After all, they did own a company together. I had asked Thomas once and he all but told me it was none of my business so I decided to drop the subject. Besides, I thought that asking Kyle might be an easier option.

We made it through the meeting and I breathed a sigh of relief that I could escape to my rabbit hutch on the eighth floor. I nearly made it to the door when Kyle called after me, stopping me in my tracks.

"Catherine! Are we still on for Friday night?" he asked, straight-faced.

"Whu...what? Friday night? But I never...I mean...we didn't..." I stammered.

"Did you forget already? I'm crushed!" he mimed an arrow to the heart, the melodramatic fool.

"But Kyle..." I began.

"I'll pick you up at seven. Wear something sexy." He grinned devilishly and made a quick exit, before I could respond.

I was left alone to face a glowering Thomas.

"We're not dating!" I blurted out. "He's just teasing! You know Kyle, you know how he is!"

"Apparently I don't know him as well as you do." He said acidly.

He glared at me and stepped forward until we were standing toe to toe. I trembled as I felt his rage radiating over me.

"You belong to me. You don't date other men, especially not Kyle." He said through clenched teeth. "Don't push me Cat. You don't want me to lose my temper."

I was speechless. His fury and possessiveness shook me to the core. I hardly recognised the man glaring at me, as if he hated me. I took a careful step back and whispered shakily,

"You don't own me Thomas. You can't tell me what to do."

I don't know where I found the courage to stand up to him. I was scared stiff.

"I can tell you what to do when it concerns you dating other men, fucking other men!" he spat the words at me.

"I'm not fuh...fucking other men." I stuttered. I'm not...doing that...with anyone else. I love you." I was dangerously close to tears.

"Stay away from him then! Why can't you just stay away from him? Did you think I knew nothing about your cosy little chats and your romantic little lunch dates? Do you think I'm stupid? Are you trying to make me jealous? Is that it?" he demanded.

"No! I'm not trying to make you jealous. Kyle is just a friend. We talk, that's all. I swear!" I was crying now, hot tears spilling down my cheeks.

Thomas snorted disbelievingly.

"I don't believe you. You're not the little innocent you make out to be. I should know. You proved that once again in bed last night. What would your precious Kyle think if he knew who you fucked last night?" he snarled.

I stared at his rage-contorted face in fear and astonishment. I didn't recognise the man in front of me. Where did all this ugliness come from? I was too shaken to say anything else. He stared at me for a few seconds longer and then stalked out.

I took a few minutes to mop up my tears and try to hide the evidence of my distress. I walked to the nearest ladies room with my head bowed, hoping no one would notice that something was amiss. As I splashed cold water on my burning face images of the altercation in the boardroom flashed through my mind. I honestly couldn't understand why Thomas was that angry. Even taking into account his antipathy towards Kyle, that didn't excuse his harsh words and ugly accusations.

I made my way despondently upstairs to my workstation. Fortunately there were few people about when I got there so I was able to compose myself and eventually get on with my work. As I worked I desperately thought of how I could fix this with Thomas. I hadn't come up with any answers when my cell phone rang. It was Thomas. Judging by the traffic noises he was driving.

"I thought about it and you're right. I have no right to tell you what to do. Do what you want. It's your life."

"Thomas..." I began, only to be brought up short by the sound of a woman's laughter at the other end of the line.

He had a woman with him! And it did not sound like business. Before I could say anything else the phone clicked off. I stared open-mouthed at my phone, as if I could will it to ring again and this time Thomas would explain it was all a mistake and everything would be alright. Eventually, I dialled his number with trembling fingers, only to reach his voicemail. I ended the call without leaving a message. What was the point? He'd made himself crystal clear.

Before I could change my mind I dialled Kyle's number. When he answered all I said was,

"You need my home address and what was that about wearing something sexy?"

"Catherine. Hi. I didn't think you'd call me. But I'm so glad you did!" he added hastily. "Let me grab a pen. Ok, go for it."

I gave him my address and rang off quickly before I could change my mind. Two could play that game. I would show Thomas that he couldn't control my life.

By the time Friday night arrived I was still simmering. My anger and resentment drove out any remaining shreds of nervousness I had about my date with Kyle. I hadn't seen Thomas during the past few days and I'd made no further attempts to contact him. My phone was equally silent.

Kyle arrived promptly at seven. My mother was curious about this new man in my life but both she and my father were polite and didn't detain us any longer than was necessary after I'd finished making the introductions. Kyle was on his best behaviour, which was a relief. I wasn't sure my mom would get his sense of humour.

We drove to a lovely restaurant about 20 minutes away that I'd read about but not yet visited. I was surprised at his choice. I'd expected him to take me to one of the ultra fashionable restaurants in the city and this place was, well, homey. He was casually but neatly dressed in blue jeans, a white shirt and a soft brown leather jacket. I had on a black mini skirt and designer t-shirt, with black strappy sandals and a copper coloured hip-length jacket - maybe a little too fancy for this place, but Kyle didn't seem to mind. In fact, I could see that he approved because he kept stealing glances at my bare legs throughout the drive there.

Our date turned out surprisingly well. Apart from the flirting that seemed to be second nature to Kyle, I was pleasantly surprised to discover an engaging and rather down-to-earth persona underneath his big city corporate raider exterior. He told hilarious, self-deprecating stories from his childhood and college days and didn't take himself too seriously. I soon relaxed in his easy company and found myself giggling uncontrollably over my pasta. The only awkward moment cam when I spilled a little pasta sauce on my hand. Before I could reach for a napkin, Kyle reached over, took my hand and carefully scooped up the speck of sauce with his tongue. I flushed with embarrassment and glanced around to see if anyone had seen what he'd done. Fortunately no one had noticed. Noticing my confusion, he acted as if nothing had happened and continued telling me a complicated story involving his best friend from 5th grade, a dozen eggs and someone called Spanky? Boys are weird.

Before I knew it we'd finished our meal, had lingered as long as we could over dessert and coffee and were receiving meaningful looks from the restaurant staff. We took the hint, settled the bill and walked outside into the cool night air. I shivered a little at the transition from the warm restaurant into the crisp night air. Kyle pulled me close as we walked to the car but other than that he made no attempt to take it further.

We drove back to my parents' home in a companionable silence. I had grown so used to Thomas's intensity that I'd forgotten it was possible to be with a man without the constant see-sawing emotions.

We pulled into the driveway and my nervousness returned. Surely he'd try to kiss me? I wasn't horrified at the thought of him kissing me. On the contrary, an anticipatory fluttering in my tummy told me that a part of me was looking forward to being kissed. I pushed aside all thoughts of Thomas. For all I knew he was out there right now with the laughing woman. They were probably even in his bed, a bed that, for the past few months, he'd only shared with me. I suppressed a surge of jealousy and turned my attention back to the man next to me.

Kyle smiled warmly at me and said, "I had a really good time tonight Catherine."

"So did I Kyle. I enjoy your company. You're easy to be with." I replied.

"I know I kid around a lot but don't let that fool you. I'm not all about bimbos and partying. I've enjoyed getting to know you and tonight was one of the nicest evenings I've had in a long time." He paused before continuing. "I hope it won't be the last such evening because I'd really like to see you again."

I looked at him uncertainly. I knew that men said all sorts of things to get a woman into bed and it wasn't all that hard to fake sincerity. Kyle didn't have a good track record where women were concerned and I wasn't entirely sure he wasn't just trying out a different tactic with me.

"You're thinking about my reputation aren't you?" he asked unselfconsciously.

"Yes I am." I replied honestly.

"I can't make you believe me. All I can do is prove it." He said. "And the first step is that all I will do tonight is this."

He leaned forward and kissed me lightly and sweetly on my forehead.

"Now let me walk you to your door, so that I can protect you from all the terrible suburban monsters out there." He joked.

And that is all he did. He walked me to my front door, kissed me again on my forehead and said good night, telling me as he left that he'd call me the next day.

I walked inside and found myself smiling all the way to my bedroom. I was still smiling as I got into bed about 15 minutes later. What a wonderful evening and what an entirely pleasant surprise Kyle had turned out to be.

I had barely fallen asleep when I was woken by my cell phone ringing. I stumbled over to my handbag to retrieve the offensive item. Who could be calling at...1a.m! My sleep-bleary eyes couldn't make out anything on the little screen so I answered with a mumbled "Who are you and what do you want?"

"I want you Cat." A familiar voice said.

I was instantly wide awake.

"How was your evening? Did you enjoy yourself with Kyle?" he continued.

I didn't reply.

"What's the matter Cat, suddenly too shy to talk to your big brother?"

"No...I'm not. I'm just surprised. That's all. Why are you calling me Thomas?" I asked uncertainly.

He inhaled raggedly and was silent for a moment.

"I miss you. I hate the thought of you being with him. I've been torturing myself all evening with thoughts of what the two of you were doing. Did he kiss you? Did he touch you?"

I didn't answer his questions. Instead I asked one of my own.

"Who was that woman in your car the other day?"

"She was no one, just a friend. I picked her up intending to take her home and fuck her until I forgot about you."

Someone reached into my chest and squeezed my heart painfully.

"But all I ended up doing was driving aimlessly and too fast for about an hour and then I took her back to her place. I didn't even get out of the car."

I could breathe again.

"I want you now." He said simply. "Get dressed and meet me outside in half an hour."

"Ok." I said.

What else was there to say?

Half an hour later I climbed into his car and we drove in silence to his house on the lake. I felt once again the familiar feelings of tension, love, excitement and wariness that I usually experienced when in Thomas's company. There was nothing uncomplicated about him or our relationship.

We arrived at his house and went inside, his only acknowledgement of my presence was a light brushing of his hand against mine. I didn't know what to expect. Would he be gentle, rough? Would he yell at me, be nice, what? My mind raced as I tried to figure out what lay in store for me.

What actually happened was that he hugged me, gently at first and then tighter. He hugged me as if he never wanted to let me go. I relaxed against him, happy that our fight was over and that everything was going to be ok. He tilted my face to kiss me, softly at first, then passionately. He led me to the bedroom where he undressed me, slowly and carefully; treating me like a precious object he was afraid to break. He spent a long time caressing me, trailing his fingers over my skin and planting light kisses all over my body. I sighed with happiness and relaxed under his tender treatment.

That night he made love to me slowly and lovingly. He was kind and generous and made me feel more loved than I had ever felt before. He showed a gentle loving side of himself that I had never seen before. I was more in love with him than ever before.

He took me home before dawn and my parents never suspected that I had been away. The next morning my mother asked me how my date went with Kyle and for a second I didn't know what she was talking about. I recovered quickly though and told her truthfully that I'd had a wonderful time and that Kyle was a perfect gentleman. Talking about Kyle brought on a rush of guilt. Kyle really liked me and I was about to let him down, badly. It was unthinkable that I could date him and continue my relationship with Thomas. I had to break it off with Kyle now, before he developed deeper feelings for me. He'd said he would call me today and I thought it best to tell him then.

As it turned out, he didn't make the call and I didn't speak to him that weekend. I was puzzled and rather hurt that he hadn't called. Maybe he had lied to me last night after all. Once he realised I wasn't going to sleep with him he'd probably decided the best option was to avoid me rather than tell me he was no longer interested.

Other than that, I drifted happily through the rest of the weekend. I didn't see Thomas on the weekend though he did call and we had a short, sweet talk, ending with him telling me how much he loved me and how precious I was to him.

On Monday morning I arrived at work feeling rested and happy, ready to take on the world. My contented state lasted about half an hour. Lucille, the other female member of "the team" dashed into Veronica's office and a few minutes later Veronica appeared at her office door, frantically beckoning me to join them. I complied quickly, curious about their agitation.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Veronica pulled me inside and shut the door before replying.

"All hell's broken loose, that's what's going on!" she blurted.

I had never seen Veronica in such a state. Lucille stood by, wide-eyed and pale with shock.

"What? What? Tell me!" I demanded. All I could think was that someone was hurt or dead.

"Ok, ok." Veronica said, catching her breath. "I'll tell you, just let me think for a moment."

We waited while Veronica took a few deep breaths and then told me what had happened.

"Thomas called an emergency board meeting on Saturday. Apparently he called all the board members on Saturday morning and told them to be at the meeting because he would announce something that would affect the company profoundly. He revealed that he'd secretly bought all of Kyle's shares, using a front company. He also bought up the shares of several other shareholders and now Thomas owns 80% of the company. He tabled a motion to dismiss Kyle from the board and no one objected."

My legs suddenly wouldn't support me and I sank into the nearest chair. I was too stunned to respond to Veronica's revelations. She continued.

"Catherine, he took Kyle apart. Kyle owns another company that is a major supplier to X-Factor. Thomas announced that he was terminating the contract between the two companies with immediate effect. That means Kyle's company loses more than half its revenue stream, just like that. He humiliated Kyle in front of everyone. He insinuated that Kyle was incompetent, possibly even criminal, in his role as a shareholder of X-Factor and in his handling of the contract between X-Factor and his own company. Kyle was furious! He totally lost it, he was so angry. He tried to attack Thomas and had to be restrained by two of the board members. It was a very, very ugly scene. Kyle was escorted out of the building by security and Thomas told him never to set foot here again."




Catherine & Thomas Ch. 05



Lucille spoke for the first time.

"Thomas was vicious Catherine. I know that the business world is brutal but this went beyond business. He wanted to crush Kyle. He was enjoying himself Catherine." She said.

"How...how do you know all this?" I asked shakily.

"I'm engaged to one of the board members. We've kept our relationship quiet because we knew how people would gossip and, well, it was just easier not to tell anyone we worked with. Veronica knows but she also knows how to keep her mouth shut. My fiancé told me this morning what happened. He'd spent the weekend in meetings with the board and came over to my place this morning to warn me that things were going to be tense and difficult for a while. Kyle was popular here and there are many people who will resent what Thomas did."

I was stunned. I could hardly process what I'd just heard. Now I knew why Kyle hadn't called me. What really stunned and sickened me was Thomas's duplicity. He must have planned this for a long time and he hadn't given me the slightest hint of what he was up to. He'd made the sweetest love to me and then had calmly gone off to destroy a man I knew and liked. When he'd called me on Sunday, murmuring his words of love, his hands were still bloody from the previous day's boardroom battle.

And Kyle, poor Kyle; I couldn't believe that Kyle could ever deserve what Thomas had done to him.

The three of us sat quietly for a moment. We were too stunned to speak further. We knew that there would be sweeping changes within the company. Thomas would purge the company of all Kyle's allies, suspected or confirmed. I knew that both Veronica and Lucille must be wondering if anything they had ever said or done could be construed as allegiance to Kyle. They liked Kyle very much but they also valued their jobs and the opportunities they were given here.

Eventually I knew I had to get out of there. I had to speak to Thomas. I mumbled an excuse and stumbled out of Veronica's office. As I left I heard Veronica murmur something that sounded like "she really liked Kyle". I realised that they thought my distress was because I had feelings for Kyle and was distraught about what my brother had done to him. They were only partly right. I was upset for Kyle but I was also sickened that my Thomas was capable of such deceitful and vicious behaviour.

I made my way to Thomas's office in a daze. I walked past Melissa and ignored her cries that I couldn't go in unannounced. Thomas looked up from his work, annoyed at being disturbed. When he saw it was me he grinned broadly, rose to his feet and walked over to me. The door opened again and I heard Melissa behind me, apologising for my barging in. Thomas waved away her apology and told her it was ok. He walked past me and locked the office door. I still couldn't speak. He came up behind me and embraced me tightly.

"I missed you baby." He whispered. "I'm so glad you're here. I think we can suspend that no play at work rule for a few minutes. Don't you agree?"

His hands slipped underneath my shirt and I felt his lips against my neck. He pressed against me and I had ample evidence of his arousal. That jolted me to life and I pulled away from him. I turned and saw the surprise on his face.

"What's the matter Cat?" he asked, puzzled at my reaction.

"How could you Thomas? How could you do that to Kyle?" I asked, my voice shaking with distress and anger.

His expression became icy. He walked past me and resumed his seat behind his desk.

"Don't start Catherine. You don't know what you're talking about." He said shortly.

"I know that you lied to me. I know that you destroyed Kyle. I know that you're not the man I thought you were." I hissed. 

He shot to his feet again and advanced threateningly on me. I shrank back in sudden fear. He didn't notice my frightened response. He stood close to me and told me in an angry whisper,

"You're being a silly little girl. This is business and business is brutal. Stop taking everything so damn personally. What I did to Kyle was business, pure and simple. If you think that I should feel bad about that then you're wasting your time."

"I don't believe you." I said. "This wasn't just business. You hate Kyle. You enjoyed hurting him."

Thomas laughed cruelly. "I enjoyed hurting him? Hurting him? Next you'll be saying that I made him cry."

By now I was crying. I couldn't believe this was the same man who had made love to me so tenderly just a few days ago.

"What you did was wrong Thomas. It was wrong. You can't justify what you did. And you lied to me!" I cried.

"How did I lie to you?" he asked. He was genuinely puzzled at my accusation.

"You were with me on Friday night, all that night and you didn't say a word about what you were planning. You called me on Sunday and you said nothing! You knew Kyle was my friend and you said nothing!" I nearly shouted those last words at him.

"Of course I said nothing!" he snorted. "What else was I supposed to do? Tell you "Oh Catherine, I love having you in my bed and by the way tomorrow I'm going to bankrupt your friend Kyle.""

All I could do was stare at him, shaking my head disbelievingly. He wasn't done yet though.

"You need to grow up Cat. The world is a tough ugly place and if you're too soft you'll get eaten up. I can't afford to show any weakness. Kyle was my rival. He's much tougher than he seems. That playboy image hides a ruthless operator Cat. He would have done the same to me if I hadn't got him first."

He stepped forward, holding his arms out as if to hug me. Automatically I backed away from him.

"Don't touch me." I whispered.

"Cat, don't be like that, please." He said quietly.

"I hate what you did and I just, I don't, I don't know how to deal with this." I rubbed my hands over my face, as if to wipe away the confusion.

Thomas took advantage of the moment to embrace me. He held me tight and I could feel his heart beating in his chest. He spoke softly to me.

"I'm sorry you're so upset honey. I really am. But I had to do it. I couldn't stand by and watch him take away what belonged to me. I have to protect my own." He murmured against my hair.

I raised my head to look into his eyes.

"What do you mean Thomas? What was he taking away from you?" I asked.

"He was taking you." He said. "I could see that his charm was working on you. You were no match for him honey. He would have used you and you would have been hurt. I couldn't allow that. I would do anything to protect you and keep you with me. I love you my darling. You belong to me."

I looked into his eyes and knew he was telling me the truth. He truly believed that he had done the right thing. I was horrified. If Thomas could do this, what else wouldn't he do? I tried to pull away from him but he held on to me.

"No don't! Don't pull away Cat. If you think about it you'll realise that I'm right. What I did was best for both of us." He told me.

He held my head firmly and kissed me hard, passionately. I tried to turn away but he held me tight. I stood still and let him have his way. I knew I couldn't fight him off. Eventually he realised I wasn't responding. He pulled back and gazed at me questioningly.

"What's the matter honey? Still upset? It's going to be ok, I promise you. I'll look after you always." He said tenderly.

Finally I managed to disengage myself from his embrace.

"I have to go now." I said hoarsely. "I have to go. I can't be here."

"Cat..." Thomas began.

"Please, please, just leave me. I need to be alone." I said.

I walked quickly to the door and fumbled with the lock for a few seconds until I got the door open. I fled past a surprised Melissa and ran to my desk, where I grabbed my bags and hurriedly left the office. I had no intention of returning. I would call Veronica later and apologise for leaving without telling her.

I travelled home on auto pilot. The morning's events kept looping endlessly through my mind. How could I have misjudged Thomas so? Was he a bad person? He had so many good qualities; surely that counted for something. Didn't it?

My mother was surprised to see me home so early.

"Catherine! What are you doing home so early? Are you ill dear?" she asked.

"I'm ok mom. Just feeling tired. I think I might be coming down with something." I replied, scooting past my mother. "I'm going up to my room. I think I'll take a nap. The rest will do me good."

"Would you like me to bring you a cup of tea Catherine?" she called after me.

"No thanks mom!" I called back. "I just need to rest for a while!"

I tore off my clothes and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over my head. I wanted to be in a warm, dark, safe place where Thomas, Kyle and their complicated lives could not touch me. I wanted to turn back the clock to the time when Thomas and I were just brother and sister, when I hadn't met Kyle, when I hadn't worked for Thomas. I wanted my old, boring and predictable life back.

Somehow, in the midst of my misery, I fell asleep. My sleep was fitful and plagued with unsettling and frightening dreams. Eventually I woke up properly and glancing at my bedside clock, realised that it was late afternoon. I staggered to the bathroom and grimaced at my sleep-puffy face, unhappiness drawing lines across my face that hadn't been there before. I washed off my smeared make-up and brushed my hair into a ponytail. I had to get out into the fresh air. I pulled on baggy sweats and slipped out through the kitchen door while my mom was watching TV.

I ran circuits around the local park until my chest burned and my legs shook with fatigue. Eventually I had to stop before I got sick. I sank down onto a bench and gulped in huge draughts of oxygen. It felt as if I would never breathe freely again. Finally, I did manage to breathe normally. The relief was sweet. I wondered idly if I would feel this way a year from now, relieved that this time was over and somehow unable to recall exactly how miserable I was at the time. I'd read somewhere that human beings cannot remember pain because if they did, they would be in constant pain. If that were true I hoped it worked for emotional pain. I wished I could skip ahead to a time where my relationship with Thomas was a rather sad memory that I could not recall with clarity.

I sat on that bench until the sun set and the air grew cold and dark. I wasn't fully aware of where I was and who was around me. In retrospect, it was not the best idea to sit in a public park in the dark but at that point I just didn't care. I was very lucky that no one bothered me. I probably looked like a spaced out druggie in my sweat-soaked, dishevelled clothes.

Eventually I roused myself and walked home slowly. Oddly, I felt a little better. The punishing run and then the park bench meditation had actually helped to clear my head. I had to take action. Up until now I had allowed myself to be led by Thomas. Yes, I loved him, but that didn't mean I had to cede control of my life to him. I had allowed his over-powering personality to smother my own. How could I have put myself in that position? It was a sobering realisation that my need to be loved had blinded me to the toll that love would take on me, not to mention the devastating consequences for someone who had innocently blundered into the path of something he could never understand.

I had some tough decisions to make and soon I would find out if I had the strength to follow through. 



Catherine & Thomas Ch. 06



The individual chapters of the story of Catherine & Thomas are not meant to be read on their own. Please read the preceding chapters otherwise the events of this chapter won't make much sense.

Thank you to those who took the trouble to send me feedback and helpful suggestions. One anonymous reader gave me several good suggestions, one of which opened up the story for me in an unexpected way. I don't know your name and you didn't leave an email address so I can only say "thank you" here. 

___________________________________

I returned from my run in the park, exhausted but resolute. It was time I took charge of my life. Thomas was right in one respect – I was a little girl. If I wanted to call myself an adult I had to decide the direction my life would take and not leave that up to Thomas or anyone else. I had used my parents' benignly neglectful parenting style, Thomas's golden boy status and my own innate shyness as excuses for not taking risks or finding out what I really wanted to do with my life.

I was chastened at how easily I had accepted Thomas's behaviour and his dominance over me. I made excuses for his possessiveness and jealousy and I hadn't once questioned his sometimes irrational behaviour. I reasoned that he acted the way he did because he loved me. Even omitting the taboo nature of our love, Thomas's behaviour was neither reasonable nor healthy. His willingness to destroy someone he perceived as a threat to our relationship frightened me.

I knew I could not return to work; that was just impossible. I would email a formal resignation in the morning. Next, I had to call Veronica and explain to her personally that I would not be returning. She was my friend and I owed her that. I had to tell my parents of course and I decided that there was no better time than the present. I had to tell them before my courage failed me and before Thomas had a chance to speak to them.

When I arrived home my parents were sitting down to eat. I saw the relief in my father's eyes when I walked in. My mother glanced up sharply.

"You see Patrick? I told you she was ok. You were worried about nothing. Such a fuss about nothing!" my mother said waspishly to my father.

I looked at my mother as she spoke and was surprised to see that her sharp words were contradicted by the relief in her eyes. For the first time in my life I realised that my mother cared about me.

"I'm sorry I worried you." I addressed both my parents. "I was upset about something and I thought going for a long run would clear my head. I didn't realise how late it was. I'm really sorry."

"That's ok love." My father replied fondly. "We know you're a big girl and can look after yourself but we were a bit worried that you left without saying anything to us."

"Hmmph, not to mention the fact that I didn't know if you were having supper with us or not. I didn't know if I should set another place." My mother grumbled, but I knew her heart wasn't in it.

I dashed upstairs for a light-speed shower and a change of clothes and then joined my parents at the supper table. My mother was good cook and I attacked her food with relish. It was comforting to know that emotional trauma hadn't affected my appetite. When the meal was over I knew I could not delay the moment any longer.

"Mom, dad, I have to tell you something." I announced.

My parents paused in clearing the table and looked at me expectantly.

"I, uh, I have to tell you that I no longer work for Thomas." I plunged in. "There've been some major and unexpected changes at the company and it's become impractical for me to continue working there."

"Your brother fired you?" my mother asked. "That doesn't sound like Thomas. He would never fire his sister. Did you do anything to annoy him Catherine? You know how you go off into your own world sometimes and you just can't do that kind of thing at work."

Now this was my familiar mother. Always ready to see Thomas's side of the story and convinced of his rightness in all things. I had a fleeting thought in that moment that here might lay the seeds of Thomas's unshakeable belief that he could do whatever he wanted in order to have what he wanted. It's such a cliché to blame the mother and I didn't really blame my mother – it was just that I could see how Thomas's exaggerated sense of entitlement might have been reinforced.

"Mom, I didn't do anything to annoy him. It's just that things changed and there was no longer a need for my job. I was made redundant mom, not fired." I lied.

"Well, I'm sure Thomas did whatever he thought was best." Mom sniffed.

"Now Doris, leave the girl alone. She just lost her job and that's an upsetting experience. Leave her be." My father said mildly.

"Never mind dear." He said to me kindly. "I know you'll find something else soon. Look at this as a valuable learning experience."

"Oh it was an extremely valuable learning experience Dad." I said emphatically. 

If only he knew.

After I helped my parents clean up, I went upstairs to my room and called Veronica.

"Catherine, I'm so glad to hear from you." Veronica said. "I was worried when you left so abruptly. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine Veronica, just in shock, I suppose." I replied. "What Thomas did was so utterly unexpected I didn't know how to deal with it. I was being silly really, over-reacting like that."

"No, don't say that. You like Kyle and what happened was really nasty. It must be difficult being caught between your brother and a man you like." She said.

"Kyle and I were never involved you know. We were friends; that's all." I felt I had to put the record straight, at least in that regard.

"Oh. I thought there was more to it than that. He seemed to really like you and I sensed you might feel the same way. Was I wrong?" she asked.

"I did like him. I do like him. It's just that it was too early to tell if it would've gone anywhere. In any case, it's too late now. He won't want to have anything to do with the sister of the man who tried to destroy him." I replied.

"Those two and their ridiculous feud, you'd think that two grown, successful men wouldn't act like that. I swear I'll never understand men." Veronica said.

"Their feud? What do you know about that?" I asked, intrigued. What did she know?

"Uh, I don't like to gossip. If neither of them told you then maybe I shouldn't say anything either." She demurred.

"Oh don't do that Veronica! Don't mention something like that and then say you can't tell me!" I cried.

"Cath, this is not easy for me either. Thomas is still my boss and if he found out I discussed his private life with you, well, let's just say I can start looking for another job right now." She said.

"I understand Veronica but I would never tell him you told me. I just need to understand what is happening. It's so frustrating knowing that they hate each other and not knowing why. Surely you can understand that?" I pleaded.

"I do understand Cath but, well, I don't want this to come back at me." she sighed.

"I understand that Veronica and it won't. Just tell me, please." I begged.

A pause; then...

"Ok Cath, I'll tell you. I suppose you'd hear about it sooner or later any way." She sighed.

She continued...

"About five or six years ago Thomas met a woman and he fell for her, hard. You know, he had a reputation as being quite the ladies man but when he met this woman all the other women disappeared from the scene. He spent all his free time with her and he seemed so happy. By all accounts she was just as crazy about him." Veronica told me.

I was stunned. I had no inkling that Thomas had ever been in love with another woman. He had given me no hint of this and my parents had never mentioned it which meant he kept it a secret from them too. I didn't know what to make of this.

"So any way, they were together for a few months and things seemed to be going well when Kyle appeared on the scene." Veronica continued. "I like Kyle but Cath, he was such a player back then. He loved the ladies and they loved him. Hell, I'm into women and even I looked at him twice!"

She laughed as she said this but I was still too shocked to respond. Veronica took my silence for interest so she kept on talking.

"Kyle and Thomas were never bosom buddies but they seemed to be on good terms. Neither of them had problems attracting women and I never detected any rivalry between them. I don't know, maybe it's a man thing but somehow Kyle got it into his head that he wanted Thomas's girlfriend. He set out to charm her away from Thomas. You know how charming Kyle can be but he really pulled out the stops this time. He wooed her, as old-fashioned as that may sound. At first she thought it was rather funny but Thomas certainly didn't. He told Kyle to back off but Kyle just laughed at him and accused Thomas of being scared of a little competition."

"Kyle did that?" I asked incredulously.

"Yep, he was an arrogant little snot." She laughed.

"So any way, Kyle steps up the charm offensive. He sends her expensive gifts, shows up wherever Thomas and Lisa are. That's her name by the way, Lisa Miller. Kyle takes every opportunity to flirt with Lisa. He tells her she's beautiful and special and she deserves the best. He asks her when she and Thomas are getting married. Apparently that was not yet a topic of discussion between her and Thomas and she told Kyle this. Well, Kyle just pounced on that! How could Thomas not want to marry her? Any other man would have proposed ages ago. It just goes to show some men don't appreciate what they have, etc. etc. Now he, meaning Kyle, has always believed that a man who says he's in love should be willing to make a commitment. I tell you Catherine, he did a number on her."

"Veronica, wait, stop please, just for a moment." I asked.

I couldn't process what she was telling me.

"What you're saying makes no sense to me. Thomas has never mentioned this Lisa person and as for Kyle, well, I know he has a reputation but he's not like what you described. What you're saying sounds, just, unbelievable really." I said.

"Do you think I'm lying?" she asked sharply.

"No, no! I'm not saying that at all. I just think that maybe you're mistaken or maybe whoever told you these things had an agenda. I don't know! It just doesn't make sense to me!" I cried.

Veronica sighed, "Oh Catherine, I understand that this is hard for you but I promise you I'm not making up any of it. Lisa was a friend and she told me what happened. I'm not relating third-hand gossip. Kyle deliberately tried to break up Thomas's and Lisa's relationship. He played on all Lisa's insecurities and she fell for it. She started nagging Thomas about making a commitment to her, wanting to know when they were they getting married and all that. I know Thomas loved her but he wasn't ready for that yet and he told her so. She went off the deep end and accused him of not loving her and of using her. They started having terrible fights and every time they did, Kyle always seemed to be nearby to wipe away her tears. Thomas warned her to stay away from Kyle and of course she didn't."

I felt sick listening to Veronica's story. She was describing two strangers, not the Thomas and Kyle I knew. And truthfully, I was jealous of this Lisa woman who had captured Thomas's heart before I did. Why had he never told me about her? Did he perhaps still love her? But Veronica wasn't finished with her story.

"Kyle ensured that he gained Lisa's trust. He told her he cared about her but that he respected her feelings for Thomas and he wouldn't put any pressure on her, as long as she knew that he was there for her whenever she needed him. So she, foolishly, believes him. She leans on Kyle every time she has a fight with Thomas. Kyle in turn, ensures that Thomas knows about it. Thomas loses his temper one day and tells Lisa she has to choose, it's either him or Kyle. Lisa says that if Thomas really loves her he would ask her to marry him. Any way, Thomas doesn't propose of course and Lisa makes the mistake of telling him that Kyle is man enough to make a proper commitment to a woman so why can't Thomas? Jeez Catherine, she shouldn't have said that. Thomas throws her out and tells her to marry Kyle if that's what she wants. She goes straight to Kyle, distraught and crying and Kyle takes full advantage. The next day Kyle visits Thomas and says just enough to let Thomas know that he slept with Lisa. By all accounts, Thomas beat the crap out of Kyle. By then Lisa had realised her error and she begged Thomas to take her back but he wanted nothing to do with her. He really loved her and she betrayed him. He couldn't forgive her."

"I don't blame him!" She cheated on him and Kyle behaved appallingly!" I said hotly.

"I know Catherine. I'm not excusing her behaviour. It's just that she was young and insecure and she allowed herself to be talked around by someone experienced and confident. She made a terrible mistake. She really did love Thomas but she messed up. Everyone knew that Kyle was responsible for their breakup and I imagine that humiliated Thomas. He's a proud man and it must have infuriated him that people were discussing his private affairs. Lisa begged him for ages to forgive her and to give their relationship another chance but he refused. He wanted nothing to do with her. She was utterly devastated and eventually she gave up and shortly afterwards she left town. I kept in touch with her and I know she went through a really difficult time trying to get over Thomas."

"But if Thomas hated Kyle so much, why did he go into business with him?" I asked.

"I really don't know. That's what puzzles me too. I can't see why Thomas would want to work with someone he obviously hated so much." Veronica replied.

Suddenly I didn't want to talk about this any more. It was all too much to take in. My head was reeling.

"I have to think about all of this Veronica. I don't know what to make of it all. I feel like I don't know my own brother any more and as for Kyle, well, I can't believe I thought he was a nice guy. He really fooled me." I said sadly.

"Cath, don't judge Kyle too harshly. No, just wait a minute. Hear me out." She said hastily as I protested. "I'm not excusing Kyle's behaviour, really I'm not but he changed after that. I think that it finally got to him that he'd gone too far. He stopped playing around and I know he tried to contact Lisa to ask for her forgiveness but she refused to speak to him. He begged me to speak to her and I did but she flat out refused to consider any contact with him. Kyle even tried to patch things up with Thomas. Thomas wasn't having any of it either and I suppose you can't blame him. He had no reason to believe that Kyle was being sincere. I wasn't convinced at first either but after a while I could see that Kyle was a different man. Oh he was still charming and fun but he no longer messed around with people's lives the way he did before. He knew he'd wounded Lisa and Thomas terribly and I think he was ashamed of himself."

"Listen, Veronica. I'm grateful you told me. I needed to know but I some time to think about what you've told me. It's just too much to take in all at once. Can I call you in a few days and we can talk some more then?" I asked tiredly.

"Sure honey. I'm sorry if I upset you." Veronica said in a concerned voice.

"It's ok, really. It's just such a shock that's all." I replied. "I'd better go now."

We said our goodbyes and I hung up, grateful to end the conversation. Veronica's revelations had shocked me to my core. Everything I had assumed about both Kyle and Thomas was over-turned in a few minutes. Suddenly Thomas's possessive behaviour made sense, his insistence that Kyle was a heartless playboy (though my eyes could see no evidence of it) but most especially his fury at my continued friendship with Kyle. He must have thought that his nightmare with Lisa was being repeated. I still couldn't understand why he didn't tell me about Lisa and Kyle. I would have cut off Kyle if I knew the whole story. 

I was tempted to call Thomas immediately but I stifled the impulse. I had to think about this carefully first. Too much had happened and I didn't want to act rashly. Thomas hadn't called me yet and I wasn't sure what to make of that. My phone rang just as that thought occurred to me. Caller ID showed that it was Thomas. My heart pounded as I stared at his name. My thumb hovered over the green answer button. I wanted to hear his voice but...

In the end I pressed the red button and switched off my phone.

I had trouble sleeping that night. I tossed and turned and got up several times to pace around my room. During my affair with Thomas I had never given serious thought to our future, my future. I hadn't once attempted to question Thomas's firm belief in a future for us. He had commanded and I had complied. What did that say about me?

The grey morning light filtered into my room and I sat by my window, staring sightlessly out at the quiet early morning neighbourhood. I sat there until I heard my mother moving around, going about her usual morning routine. I came to at least one decision. I had to face Thomas and tell him that I wasn't returning to work. That was the least I could do. I knew that he would want to talk about more than work and I still didn't know how I would handle that.

I got dressed and told my mother I was going out for a while so she wasn't to worry if I got home late. My mind worked overtime as I traveled into the city. In the end I decided to stop trying to predict what Thomas would say or how he would react. It was a futile exercise any way.

I arrived at the office and found a subdued version of the usually bubbly Cindy at reception. The corporate upheaval of yesterday had even filtered down here. Melissa, Thomas's PA, was her usual calm and efficient self. Nothing disturbed that woman for too long. She announced my presence to Thomas and then told me that Thomas was in a meeting and I should wait. I sat and fidgeted for nearly an hour. Occasionally Melissa glanced at me curiously but I ignored her. I was leafing listlessly through a magazine when Thomas's door opened. A group of suits came out, followed by Thomas. He ignored me as he said his goodbyes. Once the last man had left he nodded at me to come in and told Melissa to hold his calls and not to disturb him for any reason.

I followed him nervously. Even now I wasn't impervious to his physical attractiveness and I was appalled at my completely inappropriate rush of desire for him. I prayed he wouldn't pick up on it. He took a seat on the big leather couch in his office and motioned for me to do the same. I perched on the end furthest away from him. We were both silent for a moment. I didn't know where to begin. Thomas spoke first.

"Well Catherine, what can I do for you?" he asked levelly.

That threw me. Not only did he use my full name, which he normally never did, but he talked as if I was coming here to discuss a routine matter. I took a deep breath.

"I came to tell you I can't work for you any more. I'm sorry for not giving you fair notice but well, you know the circumstances." I finished lamely.

"And what circumstances would that be Catherine?" he asked in the same infuriatingly level tone.

"You know Thomas. What happened with Kyle and that you kept it from me and just everything!" I burst out.

"Ah. So you're quitting because I hurt your boyfriend."

For the first time I heard an edge of anger in his voice.

"He's not my boyfriend. He never was and he never will be. Especially now that I know what I do." I replied.

That caught his attention.

"What do you mean? What do you know?" he asked.

"I know about Lisa, I know that you loved her and that Kyle broke up your relationship. I know he isn't the man I thought he was." I said.





Catherine & Thomas Ch. 06



"How did you find out about Lisa?" he asked.

I looked at him as he spoke and was taken aback at his ashen expression.

"I can't say who told me but I know what happened. Why didn't you tell me about her Thomas?" I asked. "Surely I had a right to know?"

"I didn't want to talk about it. It was a sordid episode and I didn't want to rehash that sorry story. Any way, it had nothing to do with our relationship." he replied.

"But Thomas, it had everything to do with us. I would have understood why you were so dead set against Kyle and so possessive over me. Maybe we wouldn't have come to this." I said.

"Come to what? What have we come to exactly?" he asked.

"I, I, don't know for sure." I said. "It's all so much to take in. I know that everything's changed and I don't really know what I'm going to do but I don't think we can go on as we did before."

It all came out in a rush. There was so much more to say but I could see no point in continuing.

Thomas sighed deeply and laid his head back on the couch, closing his eyes. He looked so tired. I wanted to smooth away the frown lines on his forehead and kiss his sweet lips but I didn't. He spoke without opening his eyes.

"Does this mean it's over between us?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, no, I don't know. I don't know and that's the truth." I said. "Yesterday morning I thought I knew. I thought that it was over. Then I heard about Lisa and Kyle and how you were hurt, and suddenly I wasn't so sure. I'm confused Thomas. I know everything's changed and I don't quite know how to handle it or what to do but I do know that I have to take charge of my life. I can't be led by you, or Kyle or mom or dad or anyone else. I have to make my own decisions, right or wrong."

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, rubbing his face repeatedly, like he wanted to wash away the exhaustion. Once again I resisted the urge to touch him, to run my fingers through his crisp black curls. 

"Catherine..." he began.

"Stop calling me Catherine." I interrupted. "You never call me that. Call me Cat like you always do."

He smiled at me tiredly. "Cat is a child's name and you're no longer a child. Are you? Like you said Catherine, everything's changed."

I had no reply.

"Do you think...do you think I could hold you? Just for a few minutes?" he asked hesitantly.

I hesitated for a few seconds and then carefully moved closer. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight against him. I nestled up against him, fleetingly thinking of how comfortable it felt to be so close to him. We held each other for several silent minutes. He stroked my hair and occasionally I felt his lips press against my head. I closed my eyes and felt the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. I heard and felt the steady beat of his heart. I wondered if I would ever be in this place again; if I would ever again listen to his heart beat and be able to inhale the scent of his skin.

Finally he broke the embrace. He cupped my face in his hands and stared intently into my eyes. His thumb lightly stroked my lips, sending a shiver through me.

"Catherine, I'm not going to tell you what to do. Like you said, you need to make your own decisions. But you need to know that I'm not going to give up and quietly go away. I truly believe that you and I are meant to be together and I will do whatever it takes to make a future for us."

He said this quietly and with complete conviction.

"Oh Thomas." I sighed. "Don't say that. Please don't say that. You're making everything so much more difficult."

He didn't reply with words. Instead, he kissed me softly on my mouth. I trembled with love and desire as he kissed me. It was a kiss filled with love and longing and a sad sweetness. This was definitely not making anything easier for me.

He didn't stop at the kiss. He unbuttoned my shirt and slowly and deliberately started undressing me.

"Don't. Thomas, please. Don't do this." I protested weakly. Oh God, here I was again. In exactly the same place I had sworn I would avoid.

"Please, Thomas. This is so wrong. You're making things worse. We mustn't. I don't want to." I said, weakly trying to push him away.

He stopped immediately and looked searchingly at me.

"Are you sure, absolutely sure you don't want to?" he asked softly. "What if this was the last time? You can still do whatever you think is right for you - tell me you never want to see me again or tell me you'll be with me always. Whatever you decide, none of that has anything to do with me wanting to love you right now. Put everything else aside Catherine. Just take this moment for the two of us and forget everyone else. No one else exists until we leave this room."

I knew he was wrong. I knew we couldn't hide away in our lovemaking. I knew I shouldn't do this. But can you honestly tell me you've always made the right decision? Can you say that you've always turned away from the kiss, the touch, the desire, the person that wasn't good for you? Can you tell me you were always resolute in making the right choices? Well, I was only human too.

Thomas and I made sweet, gentle love. I tried to remember every move, every touch, every sound, smell and taste. I tried to burn our lovemaking into my mind. Somehow I knew this was the last time. He told me over and over how much he loved me. I ached to tell him I loved him too but I managed to hold back. At least I could try not to compound my mistake in letting it go this far.

We had little to say to each other later on as we dressed. He told me he'd call me later and I asked him not to. He looked hurt and I explained that I needed some time to myself and it would make things more difficult if were still in contact. He opened his mouth as if to argue but then changed his mind and nodded agreement.

He squeezed my hand hard as we said goodbye and I left quickly, before I could change my mind. I didn't look back as I walked away. Every fibre in my body was telling me to go back but I kept on walking.

I spent the following weeks getting my life in order. I organised my finances and looked for a job and an apartment of my own. I knew I could no longer live in my parents' home. The apartment Thomas bought for me was obviously out of the question too. I eventually found a small bachelor apartment in an unfashionable part of the city that suited my needs and finances. I wasn't ready for a full-time job and I managed to find two part-time jobs that kept me busy without taxing me mentally. I also kept in touch with Veronica and she was an unfailing source of support and friendship. She tried to talk to me about what had happened but I told her I wasn't ready to talk about it again. I knew she suspected there was much more to the story than what I had told her but she was kind enough not to press me.

Thomas respected my wishes and didn't try to contact me. I was relieved but also disappointed. He'd said that he wouldn't give up on us but it didn't seem that he was doing anything to back up his words. As soon as I thought this I berated myself for contradicting my own wish for our relationship to be over. I couldn't have it both ways. I couldn't want Thomas to pursue me and for it all to be over. Yet, I wondered at his silence.

I don't know how long I would have coasted along on automatic pilot. I had no pressing desire to change things. I was in a comfort zone with no real need to change. It was comforting to be alone and not have to deal with Thomas, Kyle, my parents and all the other complications of my former life.

However, it wasn't to last. It all came to an end in the most unexpected and terrifying manner.

I discovered I was pregnant.

I had been feeling ill for several weeks. I couldn't keep my food down and I felt tired and listless. One day I fainted at work and my worried boss insisted I visit the doctor. I walked into the first doctor's surgery I encountered, not wanting to visit my family doctor. He asked me routine questions about diet, stress, medication, allergies, etc. and I answered that I didn't have much stress, was eating normally, wasn't taking medication besides oral contraception and neither did I have any allergies. When was my last period, he asked. I started to answer and then realised I didn't know. He saw my confusion and suggested that he do a pregnancy test. He gave me a plastic cup and said he'd leave me alone for a few minutes while I gave a urine sample. 

I stared dumbly at the cup after he left. Surely I couldn't be pregnant? That was unthinkable. It wasn't possible. I had always religiously taken my pill. I wasn't ever careless.

My hand trembled as I handed the cup to the doctor when he returned. He gave the sample to the nurse and told me to wait for a few minutes and that he had some more questions. He asked me when I'd last had sex, how many partners I'd had. I answered numbly, obviously leaving out the identity of my lover.

Then he checked the test results.

"Well Catherine. Here's the reason for your recent illness. You're pregnant." He stated baldly.

I couldn't talk. I was in a nightmare. Suddenly I wanted to be sick. The doctor saw my face change and he rushed forward with a bed pan. I vomited what little food was left in my stomach and kept on heaving painfully even after I was empty. By now I was crying uncontrollably. My life felt like it was over. Once I'd cleaned up and resumed my seat the doctor spoke to me seriously.

"You're obviously not happy about this Catherine." He said. "Can you discuss the situation with the father?"

"I don't know." I whispered. "I don't know if I can tell him, if I even want to tell him. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"That decision is up to you of course but I would suggest you think very carefully before you make any definite decisions. You've just heard life-changing news and I can only assume that you and the father are not on the best of terms. You have options Catherine. I would suggest you speak to someone you trust or I can arrange for you to see a counselor." He said kindly.

I nodded but I couldn't answer. The doctor wrote out a prescription for anti-nausea medication and gave me the details of a counselor. I thanked him and left in a daze.

I was hardly aware of my surroundings as I walked home, a good twenty blocks away. I wasn't even aware of the distance. My mind was consumed by the horror of my situation. I could never tell anyone about this. How could I? I'd have to reveal the identity of the father and then my life would be over. Thomas would be destroyed too. Oh dear God. What was I supposed to do?

When I reached home I crawled into bed, pulling the covers over my head. I listened to the muted sounds of the city. All those people going about their business; blissfully unaware of what was happening to me. I had never felt so alone. I cried myself to sleep and unexpectedly slept for the rest of the day and right through the night.

I woke the next morning and felt as if I had been drugged. My head was stuffy and aching and I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. Within minutes I was rushing to the bathroom to be violently sick. I cried hot, bitter tears as I knelt on the cold bathroom floor. I cried until I had no more tears. My eyes were swollen and dry and gritty. I looked with dull shock in the bathroom mirror at my ravaged face. I couldn't go to work looking like this.

I called in sick and got back into bed. I called in sick the next day and the day after that. I didn't care if I lost both my jobs. I couldn't leave my apartment. I barely ate, having no appetite. I think I wanted to starve the baby out of me. I hated it, even though the poor mite had no choice in its own existence. 

I listened without interest to the few messages on my answering machine: Veronica calling to say hello, messages from colleagues asking when I planned to return to work and eventually, messages from both my bosses telling me not to bother to return. I didn't care. Nothing mattered any more. My life was over.

Eventually, after about a week of misery, I roused myself from my marathon of self-pity and faced the fact that no mystery saviour would swoop down and make it all go away. It was all up to me. My actions had consequences and the big consequence was that Thomas and I had created a life. I was responsible for the life growing inside me and God help me, I didn't know what to do.

I also had to decide if I should tell Thomas or not. On the one hand I didn't want to go through this alone but on the other hand I didn't feel up to coping with Thomas's reaction. I was still mulling over my decision when I came across the note from the doctor with the counselor's contact details. It was a glimmer of hope. I dialed the number with trembling fingers and made an appointment for the following day.

The next day, as I sat in the waiting room, I stole glances at the other women waiting their turn to see the other counselors. I wondered why they were here. They looked so ordinary and calm. Could any of them be feeling as I did? Was one of them thinking that her life was over? That she had no choices and no one to help her? What did they think of me? These pointless questions whirled through my mind. I was so caught up in my silent panic that I didn't hear the receptionist call my name. She raised her voice and called my name again twice before I heard her. One or two of the waiting women looked at me curiously but otherwise there was no reaction as I made my way on unsteady legs into the counselor's office.

A pleasant-faced middle-aged woman came out from behind her desk, smiling kindly at me as she ushered me to a seat. To my surprise she didn't return to her seat behind the desk and instead took the chair next to mine.

"Now, Catherine...Rosslyn is it?" she asked as she checked the file she'd picked up from her desk. "My name is Louisa Shand. I see that Dr. Jacobs referred you to me. Good man that. Is this your first visit to a counselor?"

I nodded, unable to speak.

"I see. Well, I'd like to start by asking you a few routine questions. That will help me to compile a basic profile of you and will give you some to relax a little. Will that be ok?" she asked in her kind, soft voice.

I nodded again.

She spent the next half an hour asking me questions about my health, education, family, work, hobbies and interests. As I talked she made notes, glancing at me occasionally to give me an encouraging nod. Then she put down her pen and smiled at me as if I'd completed my homework without any mistakes.

"Now Catherine, we've got all the routine questions out of the way. We need to talk about the reason you're here. Are you ready to tell me why you look as if all the troubles of the world are resting on your young shoulders?"

Well, that did it. Her kind face and sympathetic words broke me. I sobbed like a child; ugly, gulping sobs racked my body. Louisa wordlessly handed me a huge stack of tissues and I made use of all of them. When I finally stopped crying I had a mass of crumpled, wet tissues in my lap. Louisa was a pro and simply handed me a wicker basket.

"Feeling a little better?" she asked once I had cleaned up and could look at her again.

"Yes." I replied, and oddly, I did feel a bit better.

"Do you feel able to tell me what's wrong?" she asked in the same patient tone.

I nodded and took a deep breath before speaking.

"What I tell you here. Is it all confidential? I mean, you're not allowed to tell anyone are you?" I asked worriedly.

"Our sessions are 100% confidential. What you tell me stays here, with me only. My files are locked away securely and only I have the keys to those cabinets. I don't make recordings of my sessions and prefer to make notes instead. If you insist I won't make notes but it does help if I have notes to refer to when dealing with your case. It makes it easier for me to help you." She explained.

"I understand. I'll let you know if there is anything I don't want you to write down." I said.

"I have another question though. Do you, are there, are there some things that are so disgusting that you don't want to take on a patient?" I asked hesitantly.

She frowned, perplexed at my question.

"What kind of things Catherine? What do you think you did that I would find disgusting?" she asked.

"Well, it's just that, it's just that, I'm afraid that you'll judge me and won't want to speak to me after you hear what I have to tell you." I replied.

"I hear all kinds of stories in this room Catherine, from ordinary people who tell me extraordinary stories. It's not my place to judge them or you. My job is to listen and to help, nothing more or less than that. Does that answer your question?" she asked me gently.

I took a shuddering breath and nodded.

"I'm pregnant. And I don't want the baby. I haven't told the father or my parents or anyone else. I don't know what to do." I said.

"I know this feels like the worst thing in the world to happen to you Catherine and I have no doubt it's the single most important thing that has happened to you. But you are not alone and you do have options." Louisa said.

"There's more." I said, before she could continue. "There's more and it's a big 'more'."

Louisa waited patiently. Then I said it.

"The father of my baby is my brother. He loves me and I love him and we started sleeping together a few months ago. He was my first and only lover. I know what we did was wrong but it didn't feel wrong. It never felt wrong. I ended it about two months ago. I mean, I think I ended it. I told him I needed time alone but, well, I still think of him and I know he doesn't want it to end but it has to. It has to end, doesn't it?" I looked at her, afraid of what I would see in her eyes.

She was taken aback. I could see that. But there was no judgment or condemnation in her eyes. I started to relax a little. The truth was out and the sky hadn't fallen on my head.

"Catherine." She began and then stopped.

I could see her thinking hard about what she was going to say next. She spoke again.

"Catherine, you may not believe this but you're not the only two people in the world in this situation. I'm not saying I know how you feel and I'm definitely not downplaying your distress and unhappiness. All I'm saying is that others have been where you are. They survived and so can you my dear."

I had not expected this level of tact and understanding and took comfort in knowing I could talk freely to Louisa without being afraid of her disapproval.

As mine was the last appointment of the day, we talked long past the allotted hour. I told Louisa everything. The words poured out of me until there was nothing left to say. I was drained and exhausted at the end of it.

"We have much to discuss further Catherine and there is some urgency to it because you're already at least two months into your pregnancy. Normally I would not rush this kind of thing but you have an important decision to make and only a few weeks left in which to make it. I could make an urgent application for a second trimester termination, based on your circumstances. That is, of course, if you choose to terminate the pregnancy. There are other options we can discuss."

"I don't want anyone else to know who the father is." I said hurriedly. "No one must know. Please don't tell anyone."

"I won't. I won't tell Catherine. It's ok. I won't do anything without your knowledge and consent." She assured me.

"This does mean that you only have the next two or three weeks to make a decision. You must be exhausted so you should go home now and get some rest. I'll schedule another appointment for tomorrow and we can talk about this further. You're not alone my dear. You can get through this."

I thanked her sincerely and took down the details of my next appointment. Assuring her I could get home safely on my own, I left her office feeling better than I had since the last time I'd seen Thomas. I had a chance of getting through this. I just had to remain strong.



Catherine & Thomas Ch. 07



To those who took the trouble to email me feedback, thank you for your enthusiastic and encouraging words. I know it's been a long time since chapter 6 and I hope chapter 7 is worth the wait. The story of Catherine and Thomas is nearly at an end and I'm as curious as you are to find out what fate has in store for them. I foresee one more chapter before I move on to telling someone else's story.

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After my first session with Louisa I arrived home feeling completely drained, emotionally and physically. It was such a relief to share the burden of my terrible secret. I got into bed and almost immediately fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. Waking up several hours later in the quiet early morning, I had a few seconds of blissful forgetfulness, before awareness rushed in like a dark overwhelming wave. I burrowed deeper under the duvet and pulled the pillow over my head. Like a child, I wanted to hide from the ugly grown-up world with its incomprehensible problems.

If only life's problems could be solved that easily.

Eventually I dragged myself out of bed and confronted my haggard face in the bathroom mirror. I looked like a mess – hair standing on end, make-up smudged and worst of all, the awful hollowness of my eyes. I turned away hurriedly and stripped off for a shower.

Twenty minutes later I sat at my bedroom window, nursing a cup of coffee and watching the early risers on their way to work and school. As I watched those strangers go about their business I finally allowed myself to confront what I knew from the moment I found out I was pregnant – I would not go through with this pregnancy. Logically, I knew I had a choice. I could have the baby and then have it adopted. I could even keep the baby. But, the truth would come out eventually. Adopted children sometimes seek out their birth mothers. What would I tell my child about his or her father? What would I tell Thomas? If I decided to keep the baby I couldn't claim someone else was the father. He would insist on playing a role in the baby's life and I couldn't deal with that.

A quiet, insidious voice told me I was being cowardly – I would terminate this pregnancy to protect myself, not for the good my unborn child. I didn't want my secret revealed and I didn't want to face my family's disgust and devastation. I was running away. I shook my head violently, as if to shake away those awful, insistent thoughts. This wasn't just for me – no child should be born under these circumstances I reasoned. And who knew what the medical consequences could be? No, this was the right decision for all concerned, even those who were unaware of my predicament.

I waited until I thought Louisa might be at the office and called her to tell her my decision.

"I want an abortion." I stated.

"Ok. Are you sure Catherine? Have you thought carefully about all your options?" Louisa asked.

"I'm sure." I said, with barely a quiver in my voice. "I want an abortion and I want it done as soon as possible."

"Alright Catherine, come in today and we'll make the arrangements." Louisa said.

We agreed to meet at 11:00 and now all I had to do was occupy myself until it was time to leave. I paged aimlessly through a few magazines, not registering the words on the pages. I tried to watch TV but after flipping through all the channels and finding nothing that could hold my interest for longer than a few seconds I switched off in disgust. Maybe a walk would make me feel better. I dressed hurriedly in comfortable sweats and shoes and headed out. I opened my door and gasped in shock as I confronted Thomas, hand raised as he was about to knock. We stared at each other for a moment before I found my voice.

"Thomas, what are you doing here?" I asked hoarsely. "How did you find my address?"

"Hello Catherine. May I come inside?" he replied, ignoring my questions.

I hesitated and then stepped aside, allowing him to enter. My already small apartment seemed to shrink further at his presence. I took a ragged breath and closed my door, turning to face him. The morning light slanted across his face and I was shocked to see lines of exhaustion and unhappiness etched there.

"What are you doing here Thomas? How did you find me?" I asked again.

He shrugged. "It wasn't difficult to find you Catherine. What does it matter any way? I'm here and we need to talk. I can't bear this any longer."

"I can't talk to you now Thomas. I have to be somewhere and I can't be late." I said, half lying. I still had a few hours before my appointment with Louisa.

"Surely you can spare me a few minutes? I'm only asking for a few minutes of your precious time to talk about our relationship." Thomas said sourly.

"I don't know what to say to you." I said.

"Maybe you could listen to me then?" he asked.

I shrugged. After a few seconds he took my silence for compliance.

"I know you needed to take time out to think. Watching you walk away that day at my office, that was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Catherine, it's been two months; you've had time to think. All I ask of you is that you listen to me before making a final decision."

Still I said nothing. He looked searchingly at me for a moment before continuing.

"I can't seem to find the words to convince you that we can make it work. I'm under no illusions that it will be easy but I honestly think we can find a way. You love me. I know you do. I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone. More than I loved Lisa."

I looked up sharply at his last words. He gazed at me steadily - no doubt or prevarication in his eyes. My resolve crumbled. I started crying. Thomas was at my side in a flash, holding me tight, telling me over and over how much he loved me and how everything was going to be alright. I cried even harder. I clung to him and sobbed my heart out. Thomas rocked me and kissed my tear-stained face, crooning soft encouraging words.

"It's ok baby. Everything's going to be alright, you'll see. I love you so much and I won't let anything bad happen to you, I promise. We'll work it out my darling. There's nothing we can't overcome as long as we have each other. You'll see honey, you'll see, it will all work out. You'll have to put up with me for a very long time because I'm not letting you go, ever."

He tilted my face up to his and kissed me deeply. I melted. For a few exquisite moments I enjoyed being in his arms again and I kissed him back as passionately as he kissed me. When we finally broke apart he grinned happily at me.

"Oh God Catherine, I've missed you so much!" he exclaimed fervently. Laughing, he picked me up and spun me around.

I cut short his celebration by breaking out of his embrace to rush to the bathroom to be sick. Reality had rudely intruded. I locked the door against his urgent concerned questions.

When I emerged a few minutes later a worried Thomas immediately asked me what was wrong. Was I ill? Had I gone to a doctor? He would take me to a doctor immediately.

I cut short the flow of words.

"I've been to a doctor. I'm not ill." I said sharply.

"Then what's wrong? You look ill. Who is this doctor? Never mind, it doesn't matter. I'll take you to the best doctor in town." Thomas insisted.

"Thomas! Please, just be quiet for a moment. I don't need to go to another doctor. I know what's wrong." I interrupted.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Then I looked at him and said:

"I'm pregnant."

We stared at each other for seemingly endless seconds. Thomas took a step towards me.

"Catherine, Catherine," he whispered. "You're pregnant? You're going to have a baby? You're going to have my baby?

The grin spread slowly across his face and it was as if someone had switched on a light inside him.

"You're pregnant. You're going to have a baby." He said again, louder this time.

I cringed at his glowing happiness. This couldn't be real. How could he be happy about this?

"Oh Catherine, honey, my darling." He laughed and reached out to embrace me.

"No!" I almost shouted at him. "Don't touch me. Please, just...don't...touch...me."

Thomas froze, the happy grin slowly fading from his face.

"Catherine? What's wrong honey?" he asked hesitantly.

"What's wrong? What's wrong?" I repeated, slightly hysterically. "What's wrong you ask? What on earth could possibly be wrong? I'm in love with my brother, I slept with him and now I'm pregnant with his child - a child that will destroy our lives! That's what's wrong!"

"But...Catherine..." he started to say.

"But NOTHING!" I yelled at him.

The tension and unhappiness of the past few months broke over me like a burst dam.

"What's wrong with YOU?" I demanded. "How can you even think that this is a good thing? I could be pregnant with...with...a monster! What kind of babies do you think brothers and sisters make? Do you think we'll have a perfect little baby who will grow up to thank us for bringing him into the world? Are you delusional? Do you honestly think that everything's going to be ok just because you say so?"

I was sobbing hysterically now. I dimly perceived Thomas's ashen face as he stared at me, bewildered and anguished.

"This is terrible, this is a nightmare." I cried.

I sank to the floor, hugging my knees and crying so hard I could hardly breathe. Thomas knelt carefully next to me. He touched me gingerly.

"Catherine? Honey? Please don't cry. It's going to be ok. We can make this work." He said soothingly.

"We can't make this work!" I screamed at him.

He recoiled from my anger. We stared at each other. I was suddenly very, very tired.

"We can't make this work." I repeated, quietly this time. "I don't understand you Thomas. This is not going to be ok just because you want it to be. We're not going to get married, move to the suburbs and have our parents over to admire and spoil their first grandchild. It's just not going to happen. Why can't you see that?"

"I'm not stupid Catherine. I know this is not going to be easy. I know that it's a complicated situation. But I'm still happy you're pregnant. Ok?" Thomas replied.

"I know that there's a chance the baby could have...problems...but there are tests the doctors can do." He continued.

"Tests? Tests?" I asked him wearily.

"And what do you plan to tell them? Please test my baby for signs of incest-related deformities?" I continued nastily.

His face hardened. "I'm happy you're pregnant and I'm not going to apologise for that. I'll think of a way to deal with this."

"No, you're not," I replied, "because I'm not having this baby."

"What?" he asked.

"I'm not having this baby. I'm going to have an abortion. I have an appointment this morning with a counselor to make the arrangements." I told him.

"You can't do that! I have a say too. This is my baby too, not just yours." He said urgently.

He reached down and grabbed my arms, his fingers digging painfully into my flesh.

"You're hurting me!" I told him. "You're hurting me Thomas!

He let go as if he was holding hot coals.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry honey. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry. I...please...please...don't kill our baby. Please don't, please don't." he begged me, crying now.

"I have to. I have to do it. I can't have this baby. It will kill me Thomas. I can't have this baby. Please understand that." I sobbed.

Thomas knelt down next to me, gently disengaging my arms from their strangle-hold on my legs and wrapped his arms around me, resting his head against my abdomen.

"Our baby is inside you. Our innocent little baby is inside you Catherine." He pleaded through his tears.

"I can send you overseas and you can have the baby there and no one here has to know you were pregnant. I'll tell them I sent you over there for work. And then I'll visit you and we can tell everyone that the baby is mine from an old girlfriend and I didn't know she was pregnant and she couldn't look after him and so she gave him to me." He babbled frantically.

"No!" I cut him off. "No, no, no. I can't do it. I can't carry this child. I don't want it inside me. I don't want it Thomas."

I tried to push him away but he clung to me. His sobs tore through me, hurting me physically.

"Stop, Thomas, please stop, please stop." I begged.

He clung tighter and my arms slowly crept around him. We rocked each other, both of us crying uncontrollably. I don't know how long we stayed like that. It felt like hours but was probably only a few minutes. Eventually I was able to pull away and I crawled over to my bed. I curled up in a ball, too tired to cry any more, my body still shuddering.

I looked over at Thomas, who was now propped up against the wall, holding his head in his hands. I didn't know what to say. There were no words that could make this better.

Thomas raised his head and stared hollowly at me, his bleak expression touching me even in my extreme misery. I couldn't look away and we stared wordlessly at each other, until:

"Is there anything I can say that will make you change your mind?" he asked softly, the hope not entirely dead.

"No." I replied, just as softly.

He nodded tiredly. I think a part of him knew from the beginning how it had to be.

"I can't be there when you do it. I can't be there. I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Ok." I managed.

He climbed wearily to his feet. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see him leave. I kept my eyes closed even after the door clicked softly shut and his heavy footsteps retreated into silence. Then I pulled a pillow close and stuffed as much of it as I could in my mouth and I howled. I howled out all the pain and longing and fear that were in me but my muffled screams brought me no relief. I only stopped when my throat burned too much to continue.

Eventually I had to pull myself together. I had an appointment with Louisa and I couldn't fall apart now. I washed my face and tried my best to fix up the damage. I don't think I did a very good job, judging from the look on Louisa's face when she saw me.


Wordlessly she motioned me to sit down and sat across from me silently, her concerned eyes never leaving my face. She waited patiently as I hesitantly related what had transpired between me and Thomas earlier in the day. When I was done she asked,

"Do you want him to be here Catherine?"

I shrugged tiredly. The only thing I wanted was for it all to be over and I told her so.

"Ok Catherine. I'll make the arrangements. Wait here while I make the call."

She left the room and returned about 10 minutes later with a slip of paper.

"It's all arranged. Here are the details. Do you have someone to go with you?" she asked.

I shook my head, "I don't want anyone with me. I just want to get this over with."

"I would advise you not to go though this alone Catherine. Do you have a friend I can call?" Louisa tried again.

"There's no one." I insisted.

She merely nodded this time. I looked at the slip of paper she'd given me and was startled to see that my appointment was for the next day. Even though I wanted to get it over with I was still surprised that it would happen so soon.

I couldn't sleep that night. I tossed and turned for hours, eventually getting up to sit at the window, where I kept vigil throughout the long, dark night. My thoughts turned inexorably to the little life inside me, the fragile soul who hadn't asked for life, hadn't asked to be conceived by two deeply confused people. How could I do this? How could I not do this? What kind of life could such a child have? I mulled over every conceivable option but all my thoughts returned to the same conclusion. I had to have the abortion. I had to. Didn't I?

I watched the sun rise over the dirty grey buildings and I made my decision.

I arrived at Louisa's office before it opened and the 20 minute wait took an eternity. She took one look at my face and ushered me immediately into her office. She motioned me to sit as she shrugged off her coat and switched the coffee machine on.

"Excuse me Catherine but I need my morning cup of coffee and you look like you need one too." She said firmly.

I sipped the hot bitter brew and felt a little better as the heat seeped into me. Louisa waited until we'd finished our coffee and then said without preamble,

"Something's happened. What is it?"

I was silent for a beat then replied, "I'm not sure I can go through with the abortion."

My words hung in the air. I couldn't breathe.

Louisa sighed softly and said, "Alright Catherine, you don't have to go through with the abortion if you're not sure. Have you thought about the alternatives? Have you thought about what you're going to do?"

"I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do. All I know is that I'm not certain an abortion is the answer. I don't even know why I feel that way; I just do, that's all." I replied lamely.

"Then we should discuss your options now Catherine." Louisa said decisively.

We spent the next hour talking about the various options and I was surprised at how easy it was to reach my final decision at the end of our talk. Louisa still had concerns and she said so but I remained firm. Some things I needed to do on my own. I left her office a different person, my resolve straightening my spine and allowing me to hold my head up for the first time in a long time.

I returned to my apartment and immediately set about packing. I had enough money to last me for a while, long enough to do what I had to do. I booked my flight online and arranged for a taxi to take me to the airport. While I waited I thought about what I would say to my parents. I didn't know what to tell them and decided cravenly to put off talking to them just yet. The taxi arrived all too soon and then I was leaving, my old life slipping away. I checked in at the airport and boarded without looking back. I couldn't let anything distract me. Only once we were airborne did the enormity of what I had let myself in for finally start to penetrate. I was alone and scared and no one could help me through this.

I managed to doze fitfully through the short flight and later disembarked groggily into the bright afternoon sunshine. I headed for the taxi rank and gave the driver the address Louisa had given me that morning. A scant half hour later we pulled up outside a pleasant looking house on a quiet tree-lined street. I wondered if this was the correct address but the driver confirmed it was the same as the one Louisa had printed on a slip of paper. I retrieved my bags and walked slowly up the path to the brightly painted front door. I lifted my hand to knock but before I could complete the motion the door swung open to reveal a plump, attractive woman in her sixties, sporting a broad smile on her face.

"Hello, you must be Catherine. Louisa told me to expect you but I didn't think you'd get here so soon. I heard a car pull up and the afternoons here are so quiet so I wondered who it could be. Of course when I saw you get out of the taxi I realised it must be the Catherine Louisa told me about. You must be exhausted my dear. Plane trips are so tiring, don't you think? Come in, come in my dear. Goodness gracious, here I am babbling away when anyone can see that you're dead on your feet. Come through to the living room dear. I'm Maria, but you probably guessed that already."

I staggered under the onslaught of her cheerful babbling and wondered what I had let myself in for. All I knew of this woman were the few details given to me by Louisa that morning. Maria was an old friend of hers, someone she said I could trust and who wouldn't ask too many questions. I had barely listened to the whispered conversation Louisa had with Maria on the phone. Louisa had negotiated a reasonable amount that I would pay to Maria for room and board and had told her I would be there soon.

Maria led me into a comfortable and pleasantly furnished living room. I felt a little better in the midst of such normalcy. I sank down onto the huge overstuffed couch and breathed a sigh of relief.




Catherine & Thomas Ch. 07



"You sit down and rest for a while my dear. I'll get you some tea. A nice strong cup of tea always makes me feel better and I'm sure it will do the same for you." She bustled off and I soon heard the rattle and clink of crockery and cutlery in the as yet unseen kitchen.

She returned a few minutes later, carrying a tray laden with a tea pot, milk jug, sugar pot, two cups and a plate of biscuits.

"The biscuits are homemade and quite delicious. Of course they weren't baked in this home but I won't tell if you don't." she said smilingly.

I managed a weak smile in return. She seemed like a very nice person but all I wanted now was to curl up in bed and sleep for a long time. She must have sensed this because we didn't linger long over our tea. Strangely enough, I did feel a bit better afterwards. She showed me upstairs to a large sunny bedroom, with an adjoining bathroom.

"I'm sure you'll be very comfortable here Catherine but please don't hesitate to tell me if you need anything, anything at all." Maria said, patting my hand in her motherly way.

"I'll leave you alone for now. Dinner is at 7pm but you don't have to come downstairs if you don't feel up to it. I'm sure you need to rest."

She closed the door softly and then I was alone. I slowly surveyed what would be my home for the next few months and not even the warm and bright furnishings could stop me feeling an intense and terrible loneliness and homesickness. I unpacked my meager belongings with a heavy heart and sank down onto the bed, intending to rest for a few minutes only. I opened my eyes to discover it was dark outside, the bedside clock's glowing numerals told me it was after 9pm. Maria must have checked up on me because I was covered by a light blanket. I lay there for a long while, listening to the faint sounds of Maria moving about her house. The neighbourhood sounds drifted though my open window. I could hear the occasional car drive past, a sudden burst of laughter from a nearby house, a woman's voice calling her dog in. As I listened I drifted back into sleep and when next I woke it was morning, the sunlight streaming into the room, bathing everything in an early morning golden glow.

I struggled to my feet and walked unsteadily to the bathroom, where I stepped gratefully into a steaming hot shower. A half-hour later I was dressed and made my way downstairs, the morning air refreshingly cool against my still-wet hair. I found Maria in the kitchen. The welcome aroma of coffee and toast greeted me and I realised with a start that I was ravenous. Maria smiled her warm smile and told me to sit.

"I love early mornings but I'm not at my brightest at this time of day so excuse me if I'm not very chatty Catherine dear." Maria offered.

I nodded and smiled, relieved that I wouldn't have to make small talk. I settled myself at the table, where I had a view of a beautiful, if overgrown garden. My eyes rested on the floral splendour outside while Maria set the table. I thought of offering to help but my limbs felt heavy and tired and I guiltily remained silent, not that Maria seemed to mind. She hummed softly to herself as she worked and within a few minutes had set everything out on the table. I buttered toast while she poured the coffee and we ate breakfast in a companionable silence. It was only when we had packed away the last dish after cleaning up that she spoke.

"Catherine, Louisa told me very little about you except to say that you're pregnant and that you'll be giving the baby up for adoption." I stiffened at her words and held my breath. "I won't pry or ask you to tell me anything if you don't want to but please know that you can talk to me if you need to. This house has given shelter to many scared and bruised souls and you'll find no judgment here, only comfort when you need it."

I released my breath and nodded; my throat tight with unshed tears. I could not look at her and she seemed to understand, placing a soft hand on my shoulder and giving a gentle pat before she padded out of the room. I stood there for a long moment until I realised with a jolt that I was gently caressing my abdomen. I jerked my hand away as if from a hot surface and walked outside into the garden to distract myself. I realised I would have to contact my parents soon, the sooner the better. I hadn't spoken to them in a while and knew I couldn't put it off any longer. I went upstairs and switched on my mobile. There were two messages in my mailbox. The first was from my father, asking me to call. The second was from Thomas and my heart jumped involuntarily. He had called late last night.

"I went to your apartment twice today and you weren't there. Where are you? I'm worried. Have you...have you done it yet? I need to talk to you. Please call me."

I replayed the message twice, just to hear his voice. Then I called my parents' home number, before my courage could fail me. My father answered, which was a relief. I didn't think I could handle my mother's sharp questions. I told him I was out of town, staying with friends and that I wouldn't be back for several months. My father was understandably confused and worried but all I could tell him was that I needed to be by myself for a while, that everything was ok and that I would let him know if I needed his help. He wasn't happy with my explanation but eventually I convinced him that I was fine and he made me promise to call home regularly.

The second call was much more difficult. I dialed Thomas's number with shaky fingers, my throat dry and my heart pounding as I listened to the phone ringing. He answered just as I was about to disconnect, his tone brusque and impatient. My courage faltered and I couldn't speak. He was about to hang up when I made a sound. There was a brief silence and then,

"Catherine? Is that you?" he asked softly.

"Hello Thomas, yes, it's me." I answered, finally able to speak.

"I'm glad you called. I was worried when I didn't find you at home. I went there again this morning and you were still out. Where are you now? Are you at home? I want to come over." He said.

"I'm not at home. I'm...I'm with a friend. I stayed over with a friend." I said.

"Well then, where does your friend live? I'll fetch you and we can go somewhere and talk. We need to talk Catherine." He replied.

"I left town Thomas. I'd rather not say where I am and who I'm staying with. I won't be coming back for a while." I said.

"Who are you with Catherine? Is it a man? Is it Kyle? You must tell me where you are." He said urgently. I could hear the barely repressed anger and frustration in his voice.

"I'm not with Kyle. I'm not with a man. I'm staying with a very kind woman who you don't know. I just...I just need to be alone for a while Thomas. Please understand." I begged.

"What's going on Catherine?" he persisted. "Have you done it yet? Please say you haven't. Please say you haven't done it yet."

There was no need to ask what "it" was.

"I haven't done it." There was an audible sigh of relief from him.

"Thank God." He said softly.

I plunged on. "I'm not going through with the abortion Thomas. I couldn't do it." I cut short his happy exclamation. "But that doesn't mean I'm keeping the baby either. I haven't made my final decision. That's why I left. I need to do this on my own. I can't make a rational decision if I have to deal with you and mom and dad."

I don't know why I didn't tell him that I had already decided to give the baby up for adoption. I suppose I thought he would be determined to find me if he knew I wasn't going to keep the baby.

"Please don't try to find me. That would be the worst thing you could do. I need to be away from you." I asked.

"But Catherine, how can you ask me that? How can I stay away, knowing that you're out there, all on your own, carrying my baby? You shouldn't be on your own. I should be with you. You don't have to go through this on your own." He insisted.

"I do. Trust me I have to do this alone. Please Thomas, please promise me you won't try to find me. If you come here I'll leave and then I won't contact you again." I threatened.

He was silent for a long moment and then I heard a heavy sigh.

"Alright Catherine, I won't try to find you. I...promise." The last words were said grudgingly.

"Will you at least keep in contact? Will you let me know how you are? How the baby is? At least give me that Catherine." He asked.

"Ok, I will." I promised.

"What made you change your mind?" he asked.

"I couldn't stop thinking about how this baby didn't ask to be created. I am responsible for this and I need to face up to my responsibility. I kept feeling as if I was trying to run away and eventually...well...I realised I couldn't run away...so..." I finished lamely.

"I'm glad you didn't go through with it. I'm really glad Catherine. I want you to know that I would have supported you, despite what I told you. That's why I tried to find you. I wanted to tell you I wouldn't let you go through that alone. I still didn't agree with your decision but, well, I knew I couldn't force you to do what I wanted and I didn't want you to go through that alone. It wouldn't have been right." He said.

"Thank you Thomas." I managed to choke out the words before dissolving into tears.

Thomas waited patiently while I cried. "It's ok Catherine. It's ok darling. Everything will be alright, you'll see. Its ok." He murmured over and over.

At last my tears dried up and after much hiccoughing and sniffing I could talk again.

"I should've had my umbrella for that downpour." Thomas joked gently, eliciting an involuntary snort of laughter from me. He laughed in return and I realised how long it had been since I heard him laugh. I had forgotten that I wasn't the only one in pain.


"I'm sorry Thomas. I really am. I wish it hadn't turned out like this." I said.

"It's not your fault honey. It's just the way things are." He replied. I heard his chair creak as he settled back and I imagined him reaching up to run his hand through his black curls as he talked.

"Neither of us planned this...well...I planned to get you." He said ruefully, "but I didn't plan for things to go this far."

"I miss you." I said, before I could stop myself.

"I miss you too." He replied. "Are you sure about doing this on your own? I'll come there, wherever you are. I'll stay as long as you want and do whatever you need. I won't try to coerce you into anything Catherine, I promise. I don't know if I can be away from you for so long."

I closed my eyes and stopped myself from telling him to come to me. That I missed him so much it hurt. That I was frightened and lonely and I didn't know what I was doing. I missed his voice and his touch and his nearness. But I didn't say any of that. Instead I said,

"No Thomas, it's better this way. I'll call you. I'll let you know how I'm doing, how we're doing." I said.

I sensed he wanted to argue and knowing him as I did, it took a great effort to accept my answer without further resistance.

We said our goodbyes and I rang off, missing him even more but at the same time, relieved that the conversation was over.

I won't bore you with the details of my daily life over the next few months. I adjusted slowly to life in Maria's home. True to her word, she didn't press me for details of my pregnancy. She was the least curious person I had ever met. She allowed me my privacy but was at my side when my morning sickness made me want to die to get some relief. She rubbed my back, cleaned me up and put me to bed, bringing me soothing cups of miracle tea and then leaving me in peace.

Once the morning sickness finally passed and I could spend time away from the bathroom and my bed, I soon grew bored and restless. I could only explore the neighbourhood for so long and read so many books. Maria suggested that I join her at the community centre one day and maybe I would find something there that interested me. I tagged along somewhat reluctantly but it wasn't too bad. The people were nice and I joined a couple of classes.

Time passed and I grew bigger. Maria took me shopping for maternity clothes and I soon resolved to take up a career campaigning for stylish maternity clothes as soon as I could face the world. We managed to find clothes without dots and bows and I spent many engrossing mornings figuring out new combinations from my meager wardrobe. For long moments at a time I could forget the circumstances of my pregnancy and I felt a kind of happiness then that I hadn't thought previously thought possible.

I was sitting outside in the garden one sunny day when I felt a flutter of butterfly's wings. I held my breath and the butterfly flapped its velvety wings again. My baby was saying hello. I stroked my swollen belly and greeted her, or him. I hadn't been curious before about knowing my baby's sex but now I was. I wanted to know who was inside me. From that moment I conducted regular conversations with my child, telling my little one about the world he or she would be born into.

Maria accompanied me on my doctor's visits and I was glad of her company. She held my hand during the examinations and asked intelligent, perceptive questions. She surprised me because I saw no evidence of children in her life. During one of our evening chats she revealed that she had raised her three younger siblings when their parents died and had supported both her sisters through their pregnancies. She loved children but couldn't have any herself. She seemed to accept this philosophically but I sensed an underlying sadness so I didn't press her any further. We became closer as the months passed and I grew to love this kind and generous woman who had opened her home and her heart to me. Several times I wanted to share my secret with her but every time I bit my tongue. I didn't want to see her open face close up and her affection die in the face of my revelation, so I kept my secret.

I called Thomas regularly and we communicated in a way we never had when we were together. We talked about our childhoods, compared our very different experiences growing up in the same home with the same parents. We talked about his business, my studies and discovered each other's likes and dislikes. I discovered he adored avocados and hated guavas. He discovered I nursed a secret crush on John Cusack (a fact that led to much teasing) and that there was a certain shade of green that made me nauseous. We laughed about silly stuff and talked seriously about our future, about our baby. He ended nearly every conversation asking me if I knew what I was going to do and every time I told him I hadn't decided yet. That was the only lie I told him.

By now I knew that I would have a girl, information that elated me and made me indescribably sad. I had started the adoption arrangements, contacting a social worker who would facilitate the process. I was in my sixth month by then and she had already passed on the files of several prospective parents. I read their biographies and studied their pictures, wondering about what wasn't in those files. Did they love reading and would they encourage my daughter to love books as I did? Did they hug and kiss often and did they express their love openly? Were they tolerant and kind? Would they show my little girl what a marvelous world it could be? Would they speak of me kindly and with understanding and tell her that I did what was best for her? I couldn't get those answers from a file so I arranged to meet those couples who looked the best on paper. I declined Maria's offer to accompany me – I had to depend on my own judgment.

Those meetings were heart-breaking. All those good people; so eager to raise my child as their own. They all asked about the father and all except a very few didn't push when I declined to give details. I met with about a dozen couples before I made my decision. They weren't the richest couple but they were well-educated and shared a similar witty sense of humour and an effortless kindness that appealed to me. I met with them a few times before informing the social worker that I wanted them to be my baby's parents. I signed the papers with a heavy heart, listing the father as unknown. It was better that way. The Sanders were eager to be more involved in my pregnancy and both of them accompanied me to some of my doctor's appointments until I asked them not to. They were hurt but reluctantly agreed when I explained that I found their presence too stressful and I didn't think that was good for the baby.

The next few months passed too quickly. I wanted to drift along like this forever. I waddled awkwardly and despaired of ever seeing my toes again but I didn't care. It couldn't last of course. My back had been paining all day and I had gone to bed early, hoping to sleep through the discomfort. It hadn't worked and I felt worse than ever. I lay in bed for as long as I could, hoping desperately that I would feel better soon, but I didn't. Eventually I crawled out of bed and made my way to Maria's room. I tapped at her door until she woke up, finding me crouched in the hallway, the pain overcoming me now.

"My dear! Let me help you up child. Here, let's get you onto the bed." She clucked worriedly, but never lost her composure.

We shuffled to her bed and she did her best to make me comfortable. I was crying now; the pain had become intense. Maria massaged my back for a long time and checked her watch every now and again, whenever another spasm gripped me. Dimly I realised that she was timing contractions. I couldn't understand why we weren't on our way to the hospital. Surely we should've left already. I voiced these thoughts to Maria and she assured me we had plenty of time.

Not long afterwards she left my side to get dressed and I heard her go to my room. Then she went downstairs and I heard the car backing out of the garage. Soon afterwards she came upstairs and helped me up.

"Come along dear, it's time to go. The little one is ready." Maria was stronger than she looked and she supported my weight easily as we made our way carefully downstairs to the car.

I don't remember much of the journey to the hospital, just Maria's soothing voice telling me everything would be fine. I had eventually told Thomas about the adoption, just a few days previously and I desperately wanted him with me now. He hadn't taken the news well and his anguished sobs still rang in my ears. I realised then that he had still nursed a faint hope that I would keep the baby. I listened to his crying – it was the least I could do. He told me it wasn't too late to change my mind but I knew that wasn't so. It was too late the moment I decided not to have the abortion. I kept Thomas's sweet face in my mind and tried to remember everything so that one day, maybe, I could tell him what happened at the birth of his child.

The labour and birth went well, or so they told me. I couldn't quite see how being turned inside out was normal but I was too busy crying and screaming to discuss my opinion of the process.

My little girl was finally born at 08:23am on a sunny Thursday morning. I held her and kissed her sweet, beautiful face for the first and last time and then I handed her over to her new mother and father. I turned my face away from their joy. My heart was breaking and I knew it would never fully heal. I was glad when they left the room because all I wanted to do was yell out that I'd changed my mind, that I wanted my baby back. I bit my lips until they bled. The nurse gently wiped away the blood but mercifully made no comment. I managed to hold back my tears until I reached the recovery room. Once the tears started I couldn't stop. Ugly gulping sobs wracked my body and I desperately wanted to die. I couldn't conceive how I would find the strength to go on. Eventually a nurse came in and injected something into my IV. I continued crying for a while longer until I eventually fell into a fitful sleep. During one of my brief periods of wakefulness I thought I saw Thomas at my bedside. The illusion was so real I felt his fingers stroke my cheek before I descended into sleep once again.




Catherine & Thomas Ch. 07



When I finally woke up properly I found Maria at my bedside. She smiled when she saw I was awake and leaned over to give me a gentle hug and kiss.

"You're a very brave girl Catherine and I'm so proud of you." She said.

I cried again, even though I didn't think there were any tears left in me. Maria rocked me silently, kissing the top of my head every now and again. When I eventually stopped she smoothed my hair back and gave me some water to drink.

"Catherine, there's someone waiting to see you." Maria said.

"I don't want to see anyone." I said emphatically.

"You should see this person my dear. Wait, I'll get him." She said, ignoring my protests.

She walked to the door and motioned for someone to come inside. My eyes widened as Thomas walked in. He sat down and took my hand in his. Maria tactfully left us alone. I stared at Thomas, unable to believe he was really here.

"I dreamt you were here. Am I still dreaming?" I asked stupidly.

He smiled sadly, "You weren't dreaming. I was here."

He paused and then continued softly.

"I saw her. I saw our daughter. She's so beautiful..." his voice cracked and he gripped my hand hard.

We were silent for a long time, neither of us able to talk just yet. I stroked his hands and tried not to fall apart. I didn't know how he found me and I didn't care. All that mattered was that he was here.



Catherine & Thomas



“We have to go now Catherine.” He said coldly and now I was sure he was angry. He never called me Catherine.

I said my goodbyes to Kyle who looked puzzled at our abrupt departure and I barely heard his shouted promise to call me. Thomas didn’t say word to me as we left, neither while we waited for the car to be brought to the entrance nor when we drove off. I was confused and upset and more than a little afraid of the glowering man at my side. I couldn’t think what I’d done to make him so angry. I assumed he was taking me straight home and I was sorry my birthday had to end on such an unhappy note. We drove for about 15 minutes before I noticed that we were nowhere near our parents’ neighbourhood.

“Where are we going?” I asked. “I thought we were going home.”

“We are.” He said. “My home.”

Strange as it may sound, I had never seen Thomas’s home. I had obviously visited him since he moved out but this was a house he’d moved into just over a year before and I hadn’t seen it yet. We drove for about an hour and left the city behind. His house was situated on a lake and I thought he must have a wonderful view during the day. I ventured a comment to that effect and he answered shortly that he wasn’t often there during the day to see it – he spent long hours in the city and only really saw his home on the few weekends he wasn’t working. I couldn’t tell by his tone if that was a source of unhappiness or not. I sneaked a look at him but his face betrayed nothing. I decided not to say anything else in case I made him even angrier than I already had.

His house was all on one level and situated in a quiet lonely section along the lake. The nearest neighbour must have been about a kilometer away. Once again I was surprised - Sociable, gregarious Thomas living so far from other people. I was discovering a different side to my brother.

“I’ll make coffee.” He said, without asking me if I wanted any.

Since he hadn’t offered to show me around his home I thought it best to stay where I was. I walked over to the huge picture window and stared out into the darkness. Far away, on the opposite shore of the lake, I could make out the twinkling lights of other houses. Thomas returned with cups of aromatic coffee and motioned for me to sit down.

We settled onto the huge comfortable couch near the picture window and sipped our coffee in silence. After a while he sighed and stretched out. I could feel the tension seep from the room as he slowly relaxed.

“I’m sorry about tonight Cat.” He said. “I shouldn’t have dragged you out of that place like that, especially since it was obvious you didn’t enjoy the meal at the restaurant. It’s just that I got angry seeing that Kyle person slobbering all over you. He has a reputation as a womanizer and I didn’t like seeing him treat you the way he treats all his other women.”

Thomas wasn’t finished though.

“I know you don’t go out much but I assume you do date. You’re 22 so you must have some experience with men and it worried me that you were so responsive to that creep. Men like that are only after one thing Cat and I’d hate to see you being used that way. You should be more careful how you act around them. Men like that see anything as a sign of encouragement to get what they want.”

I felt ashamed of myself. I hadn’t known that Kyle was playing me like he did other women and I’d fallen for his charm without a second thought. All the fun and laughter of the evening disappeared as Thomas spoke and all I wanted was not hear his hurtful words. To my horror I started crying. Thomas was horrified.

“Honey, honey. Don’t cry. It’s ok. Please stop crying.” He pleaded.

He was a typical man when it came to a crying woman. He patted my shoulder ineffectually and mumbled stupid things. Eventually he noticed me fumbling in my bag for a tissue and left the room to get some, relieved to be able to do something constructive. When he returned he looked hurt and baffled when I looked up and burst into loud laughter. He had returned with a huge wad of toilet paper! It looked like he had snatched the entire roll.

“I couldn’t find the tissues.” He said sheepishly.

He had such a hangdog look that I laughed even louder. He looked hurt for a second and then saw the humour. It wasn’t really that funny but it felt good to laugh and we laughed until our bellies ached. We eventually stopped because we were too weak to laugh any more. I mopped up the worst of the mess caused by my tears and flopped onto my back on the couch, giggling a little now and then. Thomas moved over to sit on the floor next to me and we giggled a little more.

“I’m sorry I embarrassed you tonight.” I hiccupped. “I was having a good time and I guess I got carried away. You went to a lot of trouble to make this a happy birthday and I really appreciate it Thomas. I really do.”

He turned his body and scooted closer to me. He didn’t say anything, just broke off a piece of toilet paper and gently wiped away a smudge of mascara under my eye. He was close enough for me to feel his breath tickling my skin. I looked into his dark eyes and wished that he wasn’t my brother. He was so handsome, intelligent, charming and kind. All the qualities I wanted in a man and he had them in abundance, except that he was available to every woman except me.

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry, Cat.” He said softly “You were having a good time and I was being a grumpy old bear. I suppose it was a shock seeing that smooth operator making his moves on my sister. I know you’re grown up and everything but you’re still my little sister. I want to protect you.”

He stopped wiping my face and instead cupped it with his big hand. His thumb stroked my cheek and I felt myself melting. I could barely breathe. I wanted him so much.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit sis. You don’t dress to attract men and I know you think they don’t look at you. You’re an intelligent, gorgeous, sexy woman. The man who gets you will be the luckiest man in the world. I bet there are lots of men who’d love the chance to be with you, if you just let them.” He said, very seriously, as he gazed into my eyes.

“I wish.” I replied. “Men don’t look at me twice. Usually just once if I’m lucky.”

“I find that hard to believe.” He said. “How could they not want you? I want you.”

The enormity of his statement hung in the air. We were still only inches away from each other and neither one moved, as we stared at each other. His hand still cupped my face but he had stopped stroking my cheek.

“I don’t blame you if you never want to speak to me again but I had to say that. I’ve hidden my feelings for long enough and I can’t keep quiet anymore.” He whispered, almost too softly for me to hear.

“I’ve watched you these past few years. I’ve watched you grow from a pretty girl into this beautiful, desirable woman. Every time I visited I wanted to tell you how I felt but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t bear seeing the disgust on your face when I told you that I loved you as a woman, not just as a sister.” He continued. “The truth is that I was just plain jealous tonight. I couldn’t stand seeing you with those men for one minute longer. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were just being a normal young woman enjoying a man’s attention and I couldn’t stand it.”

He closed his eyes and rested his head on the couch next to mine. I hadn’t spoken yet. My mind was racing. He loved me. He wanted me. For the first time in my life I had to face my own feelings for him. I had to face the fact that I had always felt an intense attraction to him. The 10-year age gap and the few years we lived in the same house meant that I had seldom spent brother/sister time with him. On an intellectual level we knew we were siblings, but on an emotional level we felt an attraction that went beyond that.

I reached out a tentative hand and stroked his soft hair. He was facing away from me but at my touch he turned his head to look at me. I studied his handsome face and looked into his beautiful eyes as I traced the curve of his eyebrows, the straight line of his nose and down to his full sensuous mouth. My fingers drifted over his lips and I heard him catch his breath.

“Please say something Cat.” He pleaded softly.

My confident, successful brother who had all the answers looked like a lost little boy. My heart ached as I looked at him.

“I’m not disgusted Thomas. I’m glad you told me.” I said. I took a deep breath and continued. “I feel the same way about you. I want you too.”

His face relaxed into a delighted smile and I could see the tension drain from his body.

“God! I’m so relieved!” He exclaimed. I thought you’d hate me for saying what I did. I thought you’d think I was some kind of pervert. I mean, I probably am, wanting my sister and everything. It’s just that I couldn’t keep quiet anymore. I had to say something.”

I silenced the torrent of words by leaning forward and pressing my lips against his. We stayed like that for a few seconds and then he parted his lips. I felt his tongue gently probing at my mouth, parting my lips and then slipping into my mouth. It wasn’t the perfect kiss you see in the movies. We bumped noses and it was awkward at first but it was the most wonderful kiss I’d ever experienced. We finally stopped kissing and looked at each other, as we both realised that nothing would ever be the same again.

“I want you now. I want to make love to you.” He said softly.

I couldn’t speak and I nodded instead. My heart was beating so hard that I could barely breath. This was it. This was the moment. He stood up and held out his hand to me. I took it and held his hand as he led me to the bedroom. When we got there he turned to me and took me into his arms. His fervent embrace nearly crushed the breath out of me but I wouldn’t have stopped him for all the world. We clung to each other, our bodies pressed up against each other as we tried to express years of desire in one embrace.

He finally pulled away and I felt a physical sense of loss at the broken touch. He reached out and brushed my hair away from my face. Then he caressed my face, my neck, my shoulders, moving down until he lightly brushed over my breasts. My erect nipples were outlined starkly against the thin fabric of my dress. I felt ripples of pleasure through my body as his strong fingers found my nipples and he rubbed them through my dress. As I said before, he had workingman’s hands. They were big and broad, with long thick fingers and I shivered with excitement as I saw those hands encircle my breasts. I am tall and strong but I felt small and fragile against his masculine bulk, while he fondled me with those big strong hands.

His hands moved further down my body and encircled my waist with both hands. His thumbs massaged my abdomen and I felt the heat spread to my groin. I knew that I was already wet and I felt a throbbing between my legs that could only be satisfied in one way and by one man. His hands were on my hips now and his touch was firmer, more forceful. He cupped my buttocks and pulled me roughly against him. I could feel his erection against my abdomen and I trembled at the thought of what was to follow.

He was unzipping my dress now and it fell to the ground with a whisper of silk against soft flesh. I wasn’t wearing a bra, only tiny black lace panties. Thomas took a step back and let his gaze wander from my face down my body. I experienced a moment of unease as I wondered if he liked what he saw. When he looked back up at my face I had my answer.

“You’re perfect. Everything I thought you’d be and so much more.” He whispered as I relaxed with a soft sigh.

I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d seen disappointment in his eyes. Instead I saw desire and love. He led me to the bed and lowered me carefully down onto it. He kneeled on the bed at my feet and took his time removing my sandals, kissing each of my toes as he did so. He didn’t stop there and left a trail of kisses from my toes, over my feet and my shins, all around my knees and up my thighs. By the time he reached my thighs I thought I’d pass out from pleasure overload. Each touch of his lips was like touching a live wire. My body came alive everywhere he touched me. Then he sat up and his hands were on my panties, pulling them down over my hips and my legs until I was completely naked.

We were both breathing heavily and I wondered how much more of this sweet torture I could stand. He got to his feet and for a split-second I thought he was going to leave but instead he took off his jacket and proceeded to remove the rest of his clothes. He didn’t hurry but he didn’t take too long about it either. His eyes flicked from my face to my body and back again as he seemed to want to devour me with his eyes. He watched my reactions as he stripped and I saw his naked body for the first time. I drank in the sight of his hard, muscled body and my eyes were drawn to his erection.

I hadn’t seen a naked erect man except in some porno magazines a friend showed me and on the Internet. My actual experience with men up to this point was limited to a few kisses and one rather embarrassing episode after a date when the man I was with tried to get me to fondle him through his pants. I didn’t like him all that much so I made a lame excuse and got out of the car as quickly as I could. But I didn’t have to have seen many naked men to know that my brother had a beautiful penis. It was quite long and thick and circumcised and all I wanted to do was to touch him.

He lowered himself next to me on the bed, lying on his side, pressed up against me while I remained on my back. We looked at each other for a moment and then he said teasingly, “Last chance to change your mind.”

I gave a nervous giggle and shook my head. But there was something else I needed to tell him.

“Thomas. This is my first time. I’ve never done it before. In fact I’ve never done much of anything with a man before.” I held my breath after that little speech, hoping that it wouldn’t stop him from going further.

“Good. I wanted to be your first but I thought that was just a dream. I’ll be gentle my love. I want to make this a night you’ll remember for all the right reasons.” He said. “And I’ll wear a condom. I won’t let you fall pregnant.”

“It’s ok if you don’t. I’m on the pill. I went on it when I was a teenager because I had some, you know, female problems and I never went off it since then. So…” I trailed off.

“I always use protection and I get tested annually so I know I’m ok. Would you mind if I didn’t use the condom? I want nothing to stand in the way of my first time with you.” He said quietly.

I nodded my answer and he smiled that sexy smile of his, then he lowered his face to mine and we were once again kissing passionately. As he kissed me, he moved until he was resting his weight upon my body. He moaned softly as he ground his erection between my thighs. We kissed and explored each other’s bodies with our hands. I felt his hard shoulders, moved down his strong back and over the velvety smoothness of his buttocks. He gasped as I grasped his buttocks and pulled him closer as, at the same time, I ground my pelvis against him. He stopped kissing me and raised his head to give me an impish smile.

“Are you sure this is your first time?” He teased and then laughed as he saw me blush. “You do whatever you want little sister. This is the most natural thing in the world to do and you shouldn’t be shy to say or do anything you want.”

“Touch my breasts again.” I asked.

He gladly obliged and in a second his strong hands were fondling my breasts. At first he was gentle but then his touch became firmer, more insistent. I arched my back and pushed my breasts against his hands. He responded by rolling my nipples between his fingers and I gasped out loud as he suddenly pinched them. It was painful but also intensely pleasurable.

“Tell me if I hurt you or if you want to stop.” He whispered.

I thought it was sweet of him to offer because he looked like the last thing on earth he wanted was to hear me say stop. Instead I said, “Do it again. Pinch my nipples again. I liked that.”

He gave me what I asked for and I was soon moaning with pleasure again. He lowered his face to my aching, swollen breasts and I felt his hot mouth on my flesh. He kissed and licked my breasts and then I felt his tongue flick over my nipple. I let out a soft groan, which he rightly interpreted to mean he should continue and he sucked enthusiastically on first one nipple and then the other. His teeth scraped against my sensitive and erect nipples and the combination of pleasure and pain made me moan even louder.

“That’s good baby.” He mumbled against my breast. “Make all the noise you want. I want to hear how much you enjoy what I’m doing.”

I wrapped my legs around him and he continued sucking my swollen nipples as his one hand moved down my body to my centre, where I was hot and wet and aching to be touched. As I felt his fingers touch my pubic hair I gasped again. He was finally getting there. He rubbed the crisp curls and massaged my pubic bone. His mouth was still at my breasts and I thought I’d go out of my mind with lust for him.

I muttered something and he said, “What’s that baby? What did you say?”

“I said I want you to touch me. Please touch me.” I begged softly.

“But I am touching you.” He replied, deliberately misunderstanding me.

I groaned aloud in frustration and he laughed softly. “Tell me where you want me to touch you.”

“You know where.” I replied, suddenly shy to say the words.

“Tell me where.” He ordered. He spoke quietly but firmly and I knew he wouldn’t do it until I told him.

“Touch my pussy Thomas. I’m so hot for you. Please touch my pussy. I want to feel your fingers inside me.” I begged him.

He replied, but not verbally. Instead his hand moved further down and his fingers parted the lips of my swollen pussy as for the first time in my life, a man’s hand slid over the soft slickness between my legs. I was almost whimpering by now as his fingers explored my secret places. He slid the length of one finger up and down my wet pussy and before I knew what he intended, he pushed it into the entrance of my vagina. I tensed a little at the sudden intrusion and he hastened to reassure me.

“I won’t hurt you Cat. I promise. I just want to make you feel good. Trust me please.” He said.

I relaxed and spread my legs a bit wider to give him better access. His finger was already wet from playing with me and he slid in easier than I thought he would. He didn’t push in too far, just an inch or two so I could get used to the feeling. I pushed up against his hand and this encouraged him to slip in a second finger. It was a tight fit but it felt so good. He thrust his fingers slowly and carefully in and out of me, opening me gently and preparing me for what was soon to come. By now I had abandoned all attempts at being quiet and I was moaning loudly and telling him how good it felt, how good he felt. He liked that and told me so.

“That’s good baby. Tell me what you’re feeling. Tell me what you want. Tell your brother how you like it. My baby sister is such a hot woman. I wanted to fuck you for so long and now I have you.”

I liked hearing him talk about us being brother and sister. It heightened the pleasure of what we were doing. It was taboo by most standards and that only made it better. The naked man on top of me, skillfully touching me and making me shudder with pleasure, was also my only brother.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, it did. He sat up and kneeled between my legs. He looked hungrily at my body and I felt wanton and sexy as he scrutinized me. He spread my legs wide apart and looked at my pussy.

“I want to see everything. I want to see every part of you.” He seemed to be talking more to himself than to me.




Catherine & Thomas



I didn’t care. I wanted him to do anything and everything he wanted. I reached between my legs and parted the lips of my pussy so he could see what he wanted to see. Without really thinking about it I reached own with my other hand and started touching myself. Keeping my pussy spread open for him to see, I proceeded to masturbate while he watched.

“Oh God. Oh Christ.” He moaned. “You look so hot doing that. Show me how you touch yourself Cat. Show me how you like it.”

I needed no further encouragement and was soon lost in the sensations my fingers were producing. I had masturbated countless times over the years and had many amazing orgasms but all of that was nothing compared to how I felt now - spread wide open and touching myself for both my pleasure and my brother’s. I reached my orgasm sooner than I expected and I cried out, screamed almost, as my orgasm slammed through my body. I didn’t stop after the first one and worked frantically at my hard, erect clitoris as I had another orgasm and yet another. Thomas was clutching my thighs and keeping my legs spread open. His eyes were fixed on my glistening wet pussy as my orgasms ripped through me. His fingers dug painfully into my flesh as he held me down while I enjoyed my orgasms.

When at last I stopped I felt a momentary shyness at what I’d just done but he soon dispelled that by leaning down and licking the juice from my wet pussy. I was astonished. Of course I knew that men did this. I was a virgin and inexperienced but not stupid. My time spent on the Internet included more than just research for school. There were other kinds of research that could also be done. So I knew that men did this and I also knew that there were men who did this because they loved it, not just so they could please their partners. But still, I was surprised that Thomas seemed to like it so much. Don’t ask my why I just was, that’s all I can say.

Thomas went to work with enthusiasm. He licked me all over. He couldn’t seem to get enough of the taste and smell of me. I heard him take several deep breaths as he inhaled my scent. I twisted my fingers in his hair and pushed my pelvis up against his face.

“Lick me Thomas. Fuck me with your tongue.” I whispered fiercely. “Suck my pussy and don’t stop.”

I don’t know where those words came from but they tumbled out of my mouth and encouraged Thomas in his efforts. His face was buried between my legs as he sucked and licked me. He even bit me gently and I was shocked to discover how much I liked that. His mouth found my clitoris and he sucked strongly on the hard little button until I was moaning loudly, unable to formulate coherent sentences. He didn’t stop until he sensed I was about to come again. Then he stopped abruptly and pulled away. I couldn’t believe it. I was nearly there and he stopped!

He laughed at the stunned expression on my face and said, “Don’t look so upset honey. I have something else in mind for you.”

He then took my hand and placed it over his erection. It was the first time I’d touched one and I was astonished at the soft smooth skin and how hard it was. I couldn’t help but wonder if it hurt to be so hard. I blurted out the question without thinking but Thomas didn’t seem to mind my asking. He said that sometimes it did hurt but it was the kind of hurt he liked. He grinned at me as he said this because by now he knew that we both knew and liked that kind of pleasurable pain.

I continued stroking his hard penis and he began rocking slowly back and forth in rhythm with my hand. His head was thrown back and his mouth was slightly open as he savoured the handjob I was giving him. Occasionally he gave me directions to do it harder, quicker, slower or more gently. He obviously enjoyed the variation and I concentrated and making it as good as possible. I was therefore disappointed when he pulled my hand away.

“I don’t want to come yet. It’s too soon.” He explained as he saw my disappointed expression.

“I want to be inside you now Cat. Are you ready?” He asked, looking at me intently, so he could be sure I told him the truth.

“I’m ready. I want you inside me now Thomas.” I replied without hesitation.

He moved forward and taking his penis in hand he rubbed it in my still wet pussy, lubricating it with my own secretions. I shuddered at the feel of that velvet-clad, hard, hot organ sliding back and forth over my slick sensitive pussy. He did this for a few minutes longer and then I felt the head of his penis pushing at the entrance to my vagina. I made a conscious effort to relax as I thought that would make it easier. Thomas stretched out on top of me and resting his weight on one elbow he used his free hand to push himself deeper inside me.

It’s hard to describe that moment exactly. I seemed to be in another world, in a wonderful dream from which I never wanted to wake. There was the incredible sensation of being completely filled and stretched.

When he was fully inside me he rested on top of me for a moment. Then he gathered me in his arms and held me tight as he began thrusting slowly in and out of me. He would pull out until only the head of his penis was inside me and then he would push forward until the entire length was buried inside me. He kept up that deliciously slow steady rhythm for a while and then became a little more insistent with each forward stroke. Soon he was still pulling out of me slowly but now he was practically ramming it back in. It hurt, more than I thought it would and my loud cries were as much to do with the pain as they were with the ecstasy. I never knew that something could hurt so much yet feel so fantastic.

I felt a rush of love for him and I pulled him closer, grinding my body against his. He took this as encouragement and seemed to redouble his efforts. I grabbed him by the hair and pulled his face towards mine. We kissed hungrily and clumsily in our haste to taste as much of each other as we could. I sucked his lips and drove my tongue into his mouth as my beautiful brother fucked me. I felt another orgasm building and was astonished that I could have one without direct stimulation of my clit. I felt it roll through me, a deeper, heavier feeling than normal but just as enjoyable. I cried out Thomas’s name as I came and dug my nails into his back. He gasped and moaned as I rode out my orgasm, struggling to control his own impending orgasm until I was done with mine. I discovered as I grew older and gained experience with others that not all men were as considerate.

Thomas was close to losing control by now and he began bucking almost wildly inside me. I wrapped my legs around his back and urged him on. He braced himself with stiff arms at my sides as he fucked me hard, eyes closed, bringing himself to his orgasm. I massaged my breasts and squeezed my nipples as I watched him come. He opened his eyes then and stared into mine as his orgasm hit. He cried out and his face twisted as if in pain though I knew it was because of pleasure of the most intense kind. He fucked me mercilessly hard as he came and I soon felt his hot cum flood my aching pussy.

With a loud groan he collapsed on top of me and we held each other tight as he shuddered occasionally while coming down from his orgasm. My pussy was still twitching from my own orgasm and we were silent as our bodies relaxed against each other and we were able to catch our breath.

Thomas raised his head to look at me and without saying a word he kissed me lightly on my forehead, my eyelids, my nose, my cheeks and at last my mouth, which he kissed slowly and sensuously for countless seconds – time had no meaning at that point. Then he buried his face in my neck and kissed me there too. He mumbled something too low for me to hear and I asked him to repeat it.

“I said that I’m so sleepy. It’s such a cliché I know, but I really need to sleep for a bit.” He said a little more loudly.

“That’s ok, my darling.” I replied softly. “You sleep now. We’ll talk a bit later.”

“Love you Cat.” He murmured as he drifted off.

I held my dear brother as he slept, still lying on top of me. It was getting a bit difficult to breathe so I maneuvered him slowly until he was half on and half off me. I managed to pull the sheet over him without dislodging him completely and while I could still feel his weight partly on me (a feeling I realised I really liked) at least I could breathe more easily. My brother was a big man and I snuggled up to him, feeling safe and sated.

I fell asleep not long afterwards and was woken some time later by his again hard penis moving inside me. We made love again and it was as sweet and passionate and incredible as the first time. It still hurt, but not as much as the first time.

When morning came he telephoned our probably frantically worried parents to tell them we were ok and had come back to his place because it was closer than theirs from the last place we went to. They must have told him that they had phoned his house number because he said that had forgotten to switch the answering machine off and he was sorry to have worried them so much. As the next day was a Saturday, he said that I might as well spend the weekend with him. He looked straight at me as he told them that it was a long time since he’d spent quality time with his sister and we wanted us to have some fun while we had the time. Needless to say, except for running to the kitchen to get food and getting into a shower together, we hardly left that bed all weekend.

We did everything I thought a man and a woman could do. I learned how to make him come using my mouth and I also learned how much pleasure I got from doing it. Previously I thought women only did it for men’s pleasure but now I knew better. I woke him up by sucking his penis and he mock-complained that he was too scared to fall asleep in case I took advantage of him again. At some point during that long weekend he introduced me to the wholly unexpected joys of anal sex. It was much more painful than regular sex but I adjusted much more quickly than I expected and I was soon begging him to do it again. He was only too happy to do anything I wanted. We did it in every room in the house and he came in every orifice in my body. We explored each other and reveled in expressing feelings held in check for so many years. We told each other secrets we’d never told anyone and I wanted to make the weekend last forever.

I wasn’t the only one who regretted the moment when Sunday night came and I had to go home. We didn’t speak much on the way home but we would reach out and touch each other every now and again, as if to reassure ourselves and each other of what we felt.

The story doesn’t end there. Thomas is a resourceful man, used to getting what he wants. He engineered a way for us to spend much more time alone together but that is best left for another story….