1 comments/ 16706 views/ 2 favorites The Real Buffy Ch. 01 By: JoeDreamer DISCLAIMER: The stories in the "Celebrity" section of Literotica are all fictional parodies - none are true, nor are they approved of by the celebrities named in the stories. Authors write these fictitious stories about famous people for the same reason that Larry Flynt made fun of Jerry Falwell, because they can. The Supreme Court of the United States, the country where this site is located, has ruled that parodies involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United States Constitution. The specific case law on this was decided in the case of "Hustler Magazine, Inc. et al. v. Jerry Falwell" in 1988. No harm is intended toward the celebrities featured in these stories, but they are public figures and in being so, they must accept that they are fair target for parodies by the public. We believe in the first amendment, and more broadly, in the basic principle of free speech and this section may push the boundaries of that principle, but the United States Supreme Court has approved of this type of material. We believe that the Supreme Court was correct in their decision. * "They don't make vampire movies like they used to," I sighed softly to myself. I felt a moment of nostalgia as I exited the theatre. I missed guys like Bela Lugosi. They knew how to portray a vampire! The young woman I was followed from the movie turned down an alley. I followed quickly and caught up with her. I spun her around and was seriously tempted to say, 'I vant to suck your blood.' I'd never actually used the line because I was afraid my prey would burst into laughter, or worse, I would. I did try hiding my fangs in the crux of my elbow for a while, but quickly stopped after I lost my quarry once. This cute little blond jostled my elbow by accident and my arm blocked my eyes. She scampered away and I was too embarrassed to chase her. Now I just went for the simple approach. I made eye contact, put them in a trance and fed. Not all that flashy, I know, but it did the trick. I smiled slightly as I met my latest victim's gaze. I could normally transfix a woman in moments. It came from long years of practice. "Look into my eyes," I said in my most mesmerizing voice. Okay, so I did steal one line. I couldn't help it. I really liked the sound of it. Unfortunately, the young woman refused to comply. "Oh please!" she said with a roll of her eyes. I sighed. This was going to be one of those nights. "Mister, you've got to be kidding! Bela Lugosi died almost fifty years ago and although I'm sure he'd appreciate your dedication to his version of the Dracula myth, don't you think it's a bit outdated?" I fought hard not to grit my teeth because that could be very dangerous with bicuspids like mine. I reached out and grasped the young woman's jaw, forcing her to make eye contact. She didn't really fight me at first. She sighed loudly and acted like she was just humoring me. It was a little embarrassing, but so be it. It's not like there was a crowd watching. As soon as her eyes met mine, I smiled. It would get easier now, or so I thought. She started falling into a trance as I worked my old black magic on her. I was impatient because I was hungry, but centuries of experience forced me to take my time. She was nearing the point where my control would be strong enough to allow me to feed when she made a sudden motion with one hand and water sprayed toward my face. Only my vampire enhanced reflexes allowed me to get my arm up in time to block my eyes and the bulk of my face. The burning started. I immediately knew what she threw at me from the intensity of the pain. Only holy water could burn so quickly and cruelly! My forearm was blistering, so was a small patch of skin on my cheek. The rest of the dreaded fluid had doused my clothes. "Oh shit!" I cried as I quickly reached for my shirt. I could already feel the sting as the holy water absorbed into it. I ripped the cloth away from my body and threw it on the ground. "You bitch! That was my favorite shirt!" "Wow!" the young woman said, looking at me. "You keep in great shape for a dead guy." I glared at her, but she seemed unimpressed. I shook my head and turned to walk away. Tonight was a lost cause. I wasn't going to feed on this woman. She was crazy. I was hungry, but not that hungry! "No you don't!" the young woman cried, pulling out a large silver cross. Okay, maybe it wasn't that large, but this was one of those cases where size doesn't matter. Really. I bared my teeth, hissed and fell backwards. I had no intention of letting her touch me with that thing! It was like being branded with a hot iron! "Nice teeth," she smiled. "Who the hell are you?" I asked with a frown. "And do you always walk around with holy water and a cross?" "I'm Buffy," the blonde smiled. "And yes, that precisely what I do. Sometimes, I even bring a sword or crossbow. Of course, my personal favorite is always with me. Meet Mr. Pointy." She produced a small wooden stake. Actually it looked more like a wooden knife. "You're kidding right?" I asked despite the evidence. "Not at all," she replied, flipping the stake in her hand confidently. "Young lady, I may be old, but I still keep in touch with the real world," I said, watching her carefully for sudden moves. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a decent television show and a barely passable movie. You're not trying to tell me it was based on fact?" "Why is that so hard to believe?" she shrugged. "You're a vampire. I'm the Slayer. It's simple really." "But you don't even look like either of the actresses who played the part," I said. I knew it was a stupid statement, but I was just stalling, trying to gather my thoughts. She was obviously offended by my comment. I could understand considering that she was not nearly as small as either of the actresses or anywhere near as pretty. Don't get me wrong, she wasn't ugly or even plain. She just wasn't the Hollywood actress type. "You're not Angel either! Or even Spike for that matter!" she snapped, and then added a little more calmly, "And your face still looked pretty ordinary to me when you were about to feed on me." I smiled despite myself. I enjoyed watching the actors 'vamp out' on the television show, but it always struck me as a little far-fetched. Could you imagine the pain that kind of a transformation would cause every time it happened? Of course, it was still pretty cool. It might even have been useful if it were real. "Touché," I said. "So, what's your name?" she asked, and then added before I could answer, "Mind you, I don't really care, but it would be rude to kill you now without knowing. I mean, don't you think we're passed the simple kill phase?" "Certainly," I said planting a fake smile on my face. If this deluded girl wanted to talk instead of trying to kill me for another few moments, who was I to argue? "Your name?" she prompted. "My friends call me Vlad," I answered, allowing the innate sex appeal of my kind to flow across the gap between us. "I'm not one of your friends," she said with a shake of her head. "Why not?" I asked, smiling seductively. "It seemed to work for Buffy and Angel on the television." "Vlad, I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you if you don't stop trying to play with my mind," she said, looking rather scary as she glared at me with Mr. Pointy in her hand. "I mean sooner, rather than later. You're going to die tonight anyway." She sounded completely confident in her prediction. I wasn't so sure, but the truth was that I wasn't really a particularly violent vampire. Those kinds seldom lasted. Some village or group of vigilantes always hunted them down and killed them. I found out the hard way early on that it paid to remain anonymous. "So, is your real name Buffy?" I asked, refraining from trying to take control of her mind. She smiled. "That's better," she said, relaxing slightly, but not nearly enough for my comfort. She used one hand to crack her neck. She did it by grabbing her own chin and twisting her head until I heard a low crack. It wasn't a pleasant sound. Truthfully, it was even a bit intimidating. She turned her head the other way and cracked her neck again as she answered, "My real name is Beatrice, but I thought it inappropriate for a Vampire slayer. It means 'bringer of joy'. So, I changed it to Vacuna when I first became the Slayer." "Vacuna the Vampire Slayer," I smiled. She fought off a grin of her own. "I know, I know," she sighed. "But I was young and it means 'Victory'." "Why are you using Buffy now? Doesn't it mean 'Small Rodent'?" I asked. "'Little Rabbit' actually," she grinned. "I only started using it the last few years. You'd be amazed at how many vampires recognize the name. It saves time." I nodded in understanding. "Thinking about changing it again any time soon?" I asked inanely. I was still trying to figure a way out of this mess without resorting to violence. It didn't help that my stomach was growling. "I probably will," she sighed again. "But the truth is I can't find a name that doesn't sound silly with the suffix 'the Vampire Slayer'." "How come I've never heard of the Slayer until the movie came out?" I asked, this time honestly curious. "I mean I've been around for centuries, you would think I would have heard." I wasn't being completely honest. I'd heard rumors over the years, but I'd always thought they were silly. "Please, don't remind me!" she groaned. "The Watcher's council still hasn't forgiven me for letting the proverbial 'cat out of the bag'." "What happened?" I asked, filing away the fact that the Watcher's council really existed for later. "How was I to know that the cute little girl I saved from a large vampire nest was related to a crazy writer who would come up with the idea of making my life a movie?" she asked defensively, but then she shook her head and added, "I really shouldn't have told her the truth, but it took us almost a full day to escape and I had to tell her something to keep her going." "Didn't you make her promise to keep it a secret?" I asked. "Of course!" she snapped. "But I should have known better than to take a child's word. Not a one of them can keep a secret! I still remember the day I confide in Dawn about my crush on Xander." "You actually liked Xander?" I asked, unable to resist. "Yes," she replied with a role of her eyes. "But the real Xander is nothing like the television version. Okay, they are both hunks in their own way, but the real one knew it. Dawn told him about my feelings and he was all over me." "What did you do to him?" I asked. "Nothing," she replied, and then sighed and added, "At least not until he dumped me for Cordelia. That slut!" "So, was there really an Angel or Spike?" I asked with a smile. She looked at me carefully and then tilted her head at an odd angle. "No," she replied. "I don't mix business with pleasure." "That's too bad," I said. She suddenly started laughing. "You're not like the other vampires I've talk to," she said with a shake of her head. "Do this often?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "The job gets stale without making it interesting," she replied, and then smiling added, "I once spent a night with a vampire who also happened to be a chef. It was a bit ironic to me considering, but he really seemed to enjoy his work. He shared some of his favorite recipes with me. I felt bad when the sun rose and he burst into flame." "Didn't he put up a fight or try to run?" I asked incredulously. That was the death I feared most. The damned sun! "Oh, we were well past that," she said in a matter of fact tone. "I found him the night before feeding on one of the waitresses. We fought. I won and chained him to a large pole in the yard." "That was cruel," I shuddered visibly. "Hey, I gave him a choice!" she said defensively. "I was willing to use Mr. Pointy, but he wanted to see the sun once more before he died." I shook my head. It took all kinds. It was her turn to ask some questions. "So just how old are you?" "Very old," I answered. "That's not an answer," she said. I shrugged. She frowned and added, "You know, you look familiar." "People say that to me all the time," I replied, but she continued to stare at me. "You look like..." she began, and then suddenly swallowed hard and raised Mr. Pointy. "You look like the only vampire who ever escaped me." "I find it hard to believe that someone escaped you," I said, trying to calm her, but she was ignoring my words. "Just one," she said carefully. "It was a couple of years ago." "Do you know his name?" I asked calmly. I needed to keep her talking. "Dracula!" she said with her eyes opened wide. "That's impossible," I said, smiling calmly. "I'm Dracula." "What?" she snapped. "I said that I'm Dracula. This other vampire must have been an imposter," I shrugged, and then frowned briefly before adding, "Unless..." "Unless what?" she asked. I shook my head. "Did this vampire have blond hair?" "Yes," she nodded. "That's what threw me at first. He has your features, but the hair was blond. He also has one blue eye and one brown." I sighed loudly at the news. "Well, it's nice to know Vlad junior is still alive," I said. "You would think it's not too much to ask for a son drop a post card every century or so." "You mean..." she began. "Yes, Beatrice. I'm the original count Dracula. The other Dracula is my son Vlad." Beatrice surprised me then by launching herself at me. As I said earlier, I'm not a particularly violent being, but then again, I haven't survived as long as I have by being a pacifist either. I backhanded her across the room. The fight was short and vicious. She was strong. So strong that we were evenly matched in that area, but she was in her mid to late twenties at best. I was quite a bit older and more experienced. Still it was a close thing. I could see how she survived so long out of her teen years. "No!" she cried as my teeth sunk into her neck. I expected the rush that came with feeding, but with Beatrice it was quite a bit more! Slayer blood really was more potent! What I hadn't expected was the surge of sexual energy that accompanied it. I heard Beatrice's groan of pleasure. It matched my own. I continued to feed until I was full. She was weak now and her blood made me even stronger. I felt younger than I had in years, maybe centuries. "I should kill you," I said as I lifted my head from her neck. "Go ahead! Do it!" she cried. "I always new this day would come! I don't want to live as your slave!" I frowned. "Who said anything about making you my slave?" I asked. "So what? You'll just let me go?" she asked in disbelief. I hadn't moved off of her yet. The sexual tension was still pliable between us. "Yes, if you give me your word that you'll won't hunt me," I offered. "But I'm the Slayer!" she argued. "I can't let the real Dracula go!" "Why not?" I asked with a smile. My cock was wedged between our stomachs. It was hard and I knew she could feel it. "You're a killer! You kill women and innocent children!" she snapped. "I haven't killed anyone in over a century," I frowned. "And I've never killed a child, innocent or not." "Are you trying to tell me Dracula has a soul?" "My dear, all living things have a soul," I sighed. "I don't know who told you different. I always found that part of the television show a little annoying." "But Vampires are dead! They drink blood and kill for the pure pleasure of it!" "Please!" I snorted. "Vampires are not dead! We may be demons of a sort, but we like to mix with humans. It's been my experience that the dead pretty much keep to themselves." "But..." she almost stuttered. "Besides, very few vampires actually kill at all, much less indiscriminately. Even if it were true, what does that have to do with having a soul? I've met some pretty twisted individuals with truly black souls in my life. Most of them were human." "But your own son killed a whole school bus full of children!" The news was disappointing to say the least. "Vlad is a problem child," I sighed. "But what is a father to do? I keep hoping he'll outgrow it." "How old is he?" Beatrice asked, sounding stunned. The fact that I was still lying on her in the alley probably helped. So did the loss of blood. "A little over two hundred," I admitted. "And you're still hoping he'll outgrows it?" she asked incredulously. "A parent never gives up hope." "Oh please! Just kill me now and get it over with!" she cried. I didn't immediately react so she added, "If you don't, then I'm going to hunt you and all your kind down with my last dying breath!" "Spoken like a true Slayer," I laughed as I stood and helped her up. She stumbled twice. I actually had to hold her steady. Maybe I took a little too much blood, but it was so delicious! "I think it's time you go on your way," I said. "It's been interesting meeting you, to say the least." "This is crazy!" she cried. "Think you can make it on your own?" I asked in concern, ignoring her comment. "You're pretty weak." "I'll be okay," she replied, still looking at me in disbelief. I shrugged and let her go. She took two steps and passed out, hitting her head on the pavement. "Shit," I grumbled at her still form. "I should just leave you here." Yet, I couldn't do it. It was late and this wasn't a good neighborhood. I picked her up and brought her to my car. The trip to my 'lair' as the say wasn't really all that far. It was an old mansion that had seen better days. Of course the gates still worked and I paid quite a lot for the security system. Inside was actually in good repair. "Emma! Martha! We have company!" I called as I carried Beatrice into the house. "Oh Vlad!" Emma cried in annoyance from the top of the balcony. "You haven't picked up another stray? They are so hard to get rid of!" Emma was dressed in a gown that was in style when she was a human. It still looked good on her curvy body. The green went well with her dark hair and pale skin. "I drained too much of her blood and she fell," I explained as I climbed the stairs. "Couldn't you just leave her there?" "She bumped her head," I replied. "There's no telling what would have happened to her." "Oh, okay," Emma sighed loudly. "Who is she anyway?" I didn't want to answer, but it wouldn't be fair. What if Beatrice somehow escaped? "She's the Vampire Slayer." "Buffy?" Emma asked in surprise. "That's her professional name. Her real name is Beatrice," I said as I carried the unconscious Slayer to my bedroom. "Oh damn!" Emma said, looking at me oddly. She then turned, stuck her head out the doorway and called down the hall, "Martha! Pack your bags! I'm ready to visit your sister in Greece!" "You hate Greece," I frowned. "True, but it's going to be safer there than here for a while," Emma said. "You're got that look in your eyes and that's always dangerous." "Really Emma?" Martha said as she walked into my room. I smiled. She was the youngest of us at a mere fifty-three years old. Of course, she look somewhere in her mid twenties just like the rest of us. "Yes dear," Emma smiled. "Vlad, are you coming too?" Martha asked. "Maybe next trip." "Who's that?" she asked, seeing Beatrice in my bed. "You don't want to know!" Emma said. "Just go pack your stuff. We're leaving tonight." "Are you sure?" I asked. "You know how I get after I feed." "Isn't that why you brought her home?" Emma asked. I could never fool her. "Don't you want to join us?" I asked. Emma was a dynamo in bed. She was slowly teaching Martha all her tricks. "Not likely," she snorted. "Okay, then I guess you'd better take the private jet," I sighed. "I'll miss you two." The Real Buffy Ch. 01 "Call my cell when you're done," Emma said, pushing Martha out the door. She then grinned and added, "Or after you've tamed her. I wouldn't mind trying a Slayer." "I will," I smiled. "If she doesn't kill you first." "I'll call you tomorrow," I replied, ignoring her warning. Emma shrugged, gave me a quick kiss and then frowned briefly before disappearing. I checked Beatrice's bump as I heard Emma and Martha thumping around. They were gone rather quickly. I sat next to the Slayer and watched as the night sky grew lighter. Near dawn, I pulled the thick, dark drapes over the windows and changed the candles in the room. We had electricity, but I liked candles. They made a room seem so much warmer. It was hours since I fed and I was still really horny. It must have been the Slayer blood. I convinced myself that Beatrice looked uncomfortable so I undid her clothes and began taking them off. "What are you doing?" Beatrice said groggily as I was unbuttoning her jeans. "Just trying to make you comfortable," I replied, never stopping. I pulled her pants off. She blinked hard a couple of time while I removed her panties. "Hey!" she said, obviously coming more awake. "What's going on here? I thought you said you'd let me go!" "I did," I replied. "And you proceeded to faint and bump your head on the ground. I had to bring you back here and my housemates abandoned me out of fear." "Now what are you doing!" she cried as I started pulling off my own clothes. "Trying to make myself comfortable," I laughed. "I am not sleeping with you! You're Dracula!" "Yes you are," I replied calmly. "You'll have to take the place of Emma and Martha. I hope you're up for it. If it makes you feel any better, just call me Angel." "But..." she began. I cut her off. "I can sometimes read minds," I blatantly lied. "You want this as much as I do." "I do not!" she cried, but she was blushing. I crawled into bed with her and pulled her lips to mine. She fought as first, but it didn't last very long. "Oh Angel!" she panted. "I've always dreamed of meeting you! Why should that actress get all the fun?" "I love you Buffy!" I said, deciding to play along. She smiled despite the fact that she had to know I was lying. "And I love you too! Now take me!" she cried, opening her legs wide. "It's been so long since I had a new lover!" I smiled and got between her legs. Instead of pushing in I leaned forward and buried my face in her pussy. She quickly became soaked. Her pussy was like a furnace in no time at all. Unable to resist, I bit into her thigh and tasted her blood once again. It was just as stimulating as the night before! "Hey!" she cried. "None of that! You already drained me! You keep that up and I'll pass out again!" "I don't want that!" I smiled, showing my blood-tinged bicuspids. Beatrice surprised me by groaning. "Come up here! Now!" she demanded. I shrugged to myself and moved up. My cock was damn near raging with the power of her blood! I put the head of my dick into her pussy and pushed in with one stroke. "Not so fast!" I ignored her cry and started fucking. I was too horny to be patient. Thankfully, she was just as bad! She had her hands on my ass pulling me deep with every stroke. "Oh Spike!" she cried suddenly. "Now I know where you got your nickname from!" "Are you supposed to be Buffy or Faith now?" I teased. "Well, Faith is more wild in bed," she grinned. "Faith it is!" I laughed, picking up the pace. Beatrice moaned happily. We were both sweating badly by now. I attempted a bad English accent and added, "Come on Love! I always knew you'd be a better lay than that stuck up bitch Buffy!" "Oh Spike! Give it to me! Fill me with your cum!" "Only if you beg me to, Buffy!" I said, changing our shared fantasy once more. "Oh Angel! Please come in me!" she said, doing her own fair share of changing. "Buffy, you know I'd do anything for you!" I said, trying to play Angel. "But if I cum in you I'll be a demon again!" "I don't care!" Beatrice cried, biting at my shoulder. She was still stronger than an average woman even with most of her power drained by my earlier drinking. Her bites actually hurt, but only in a good way! I was a fast healer after all! "Beatrice, I'm close!" I gasped. "Me too Vlad!" she said, both of us no longer pretending. "Please let go! I want to feel you cum in me!" I kissed her and started fucking as fast as I could. My teeth grazed her lips and cut them slightly, but Beatrice didn't stop kissing me. I hunched up and slammed into her one last time so hard that the bed broke! It didn't matter. We were both too busy cumming to care! "That was incredible!" I said as we lay side by side panting, trying to recover. "Yes, it was," Beatrice sighed. She then kissed me and added, "Thank you." "Thank you," I grinned. We lay like that for a while. I didn't sleep very much normally, but I was close when I felt the bed shift. Beatrice was getting up quietly. I sighed, opened my eyes and said, "You needn't sneak away. You can leave at anytime." "Thanks, Vlad," she said. "But that only makes doing this harder." "What?" I asked with a frown. "This!" she cried, pulling the drapes away from the window and letting the sun come it. I raised my hands and blocked my eyes. "I'm so sorry!" she cried. "No need," I said as I stood and looked out the window. "But...how...you can't..." she said, not making sense. I took her into my arms and gave her one last kiss. "Beatrice, do you really think I'd have untreated windows in this day and age?" I asked. She looked around desperately. I guessed what she was thinking and quickly added, "Please don't break my furniture trying to smash the glass. It's bullet proof and quite a number of other proofs. All you'll end up doing is breaking my antique furniture." "I'm doomed!" she cried. I shook my head and sighed loudly. "You are not doomed," I insisted. "Why don't you get dressed and I'll drop you home. I'm sure someone will be worrying about you by now." Beatrice moved as if she kept expecting a trap. I drove her where she directed and let her off between two buildings that blocked the sun, just in case she was going to trying something stupid again. Thankfully, she was still weak. "You can't let me go," she insisted as I opened the door for her. "I'm the Vampire Slayer! I know where you live!" "Yes," I nodded. "And when you're in the mood, feel free to visit me again. There are still so many things left for us to explore." "You're serious?" "Of course," I shrugged. "I'll be your Angel or Spike or anyone else you desire." "Even Riley?" she asked. I rolled my eyes. "Yes, even Riley," I said. "Just as long as you be my Buffy or Faith. Maybe even Willow once in a while." "Oh no!" she said earnestly. "Even I won't play such a slut!" "She wasn't that bad," I laughed. "Maybe not the television version, but the real one is a real nymphomaniac!" "Hmm, interesting," I said. "I can't wait to meet her." "Meet her?" Beatrice asked. "I'm sure you'll be bringing her and the rest of the Scoobies when you assault my mansion," I grinned. She didn't bother to deny it. "Why are you doing this?" she asked. "I like you," I shrugged. "Besides, life gets boring without it's little challenges." "One of us is going to die the next time we meet," she said in a somber voice. "They say a woman's orgasm is like a small death," I joked. "Will you please be serious!" she snapped. "I'm feeling terrible about what I'm going to have to do. You've been kind to me other than the blood drinking." "You liked that too," I said knowingly. "Look, just consider yourself warned," she said sounding flustered. "Done," I said seriously. "Be sure not to come on Friday. I'll be out of town and I'd hate to miss you and your friends." "You don't sound worried at all," Beatrice frowned. "Actually, I'm petrified. I just hide it well," I joked. Beatrice gave me one last look before turning and walking away. I was already driving away when she left the alley. It wouldn't do to get caught unaware. I drove home with a smile on my face. My phone rang when I was almost there. "Hello?" I said. "Emma! I was going to call you later." I sat listening for a moment. "No, actually everything went well enough." Again, I listened. I finally sighed and added, "I know you hate Greece and aren't particularly fond of Martha's sister, but it's not really safe to come home yet." I pulled into my driveway and parked the car. " Why? Well, because I'm expecting the Slayer and her friends to attack in the next day or two." I had to hold the phone away from my ear while Emma yelled. She was a sweet girl, but her nagging could get old after one hundred and fifty years. "I know, I know," I sighed. "I'll be careful. Just be ready to return when I call. I think you and Beatrice will be good friends once things settle down." I nodded to myself as Emma finished her half of the conversation. "Yes, I'm sure she'll be willing to let you taste her blood. It really is amazing!" I hung up the phone and started walking around the house. I'd need to call the cleaners in tomorrow. The place was in decent shape, but I hadn't had a party in years. I couldn't wait until Beatrice and her friends showed up. The Real Buffy Ch. 02 DISCLAIMER: The stories in the "Celebrity" section of Literotica are all fictional parodies - none are true, nor are they approved of by the celebrities named in the stories. Authors write these fictitious stories about famous people for the same reason that Larry Flynt made fun of Jerry Falwell, because they can. The Supreme Court of the United States, the country where this site is located, has ruled that parodies involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United States Constitution. The specific case law on this was decided in the case of "Hustler Magazine, Inc. et al. v. Jerry Falwell" in 1988. No harm is intended toward the celebrities featured in these stories, but they are public figures and in being so, they must accept that they are fair target for parodies by the public. We believe in the first amendment, and more broadly, in the basic principle of free speech and this section may push the boundaries of that principle, but the United States Supreme Court has approved of this type of material. We believe that the Supreme Court was correct in their decision. * I was in my study reading a book patiently waiting when the door suddenly burst off its hinges and flew into the room. I flinched slightly. That door was part of the original house and wouldn't be cheap to replace. Beatrice the Vampire Slayer stood in the opening while her version of the Scooby Gang rushed into the room with impressive speed and spread out. They each looked dangerous in their own way and they were all obviously ready for action. I smiled. Finally! "You know, it wasn't locked," I sighed, looking at Beatrice. "I've been expecting you for nearly twenty minutes. What? Did you get lost after passing the front gate?" "Sorry about the door," Beatrice shrugged. "I was hoping for a surprise attack." "Please!" I said a bit annoyed. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to sneak up on a vampire in his lair?" Before the Slayer could reply one of the others spoke up. "Oh hey! You didn't say that he was cute!" the redhead giggled as she looked at me. She was bouncing a blue ball on energy between her hands. "Willow, not now!" Beatrice sighed loudly. "He's a dangerous vampire and we have to kiss...I mean kill him!" I remembered our last encounter and smiled. She saw my expression and blushed. Beatrice knew what I was thinking. "He does look yummy!" the sexy brunette put in at she looked over the crossbow she had pointed at my heart. "I wouldn't mind kissing him." "Cordelia, will you please stay focused!" Beatrice snapped. "Qu...Qu...Quite right!" the eldest member of the party stuttered. He was balding and potbellied. I know I'm supposed to be the 'undead' in this story, but he had a far more deathlike pallor than me. "You th...th...think so?" a dark haired young man holding a sword taunted cruelly. "Xander, stop being such a dick!" the short red haired guy standing next to the old man put in. "Leave Giles along. You know he doesn't like it when Buffy makes him come with." "That's because he's chicken shit!" Xander complained. "I wish we had the television version of him with us. That guy can kick ass!" "And you think the rest of us wouldn't like to have the television version of you?" the red haired young man asked. "You may fight better, but at least the TV version seems fun to have around." "Fuck off Wolfie!" Xander sneered. The shorter boy growled and his eyes flashed red. Xander seemed unimpressed. "Don't even think about it!" he warned. "It's not your time of the month. I'll kick your furry little ass!" "Xander," Beatrice said calmly. The dark haired young man ignored her until she grabbed hold of his arm and twisted. "Enough. We have work to do." "Okay! Okay!" Xander cried until she let go. He rubbed his elbow as he turned to me and said, "I love it when she gets physical. She's a real dynamo in bed!" He was grinning now. I didn't bother to comment, but something in my expression must have given my thoughts away. Xander's raised one eyebrow and then turned toward the red haired young man again. "It looks like you're the only guy in the room that she hasn't done the dirty with. I guess it makes sense. Buffy was never much of a dog person. Of course, you would think she'd be willing to take you for a walk at least once considering that she even gives Giles a ride occasionally." "That's it!" the shorter guy retorted. "You're toast!" I could see hair sprouting from the visible parts of his body as his eyes turned blood red. His jaw extended and his hands became more doglike with long, sharp claws. He howled loudly as he transformed. I could empathize. That had to hurt! On the other hand, I was also a bit annoyed. He was making such a racket that I'm sure the neighbors would complain. "So," Xander sneered once more. "Has the little doggie learned a new trick?" Xander raised the sword he was carrying slightly, but that was about the extent of his reaction. I had to give this guy credit. It wasn't every man who could stand up to a werewolf without shitting himself. "I'm going to rip your throat out!" the werewolf growled. His voice was deeper, angrier and certainly more threatening. "You just try it!" Xander snapped. "This sword has enough silver in it to make werewolf winnies out of you!" They lunged at each other. I looked on in interest. I was a little disappointed when Beatrice stepped between their surging forms and threw them both across the room into opposite walls. She had obviously regained her strength since our last encounter. "Xander, Oz, you will stop this right now!" she said as if talking to children. "I really wish you'd stop calling me Oz," the werewolf sighed as he stood. He was starting to flow back into his human state, but I noticed he didn't lose the hair. "I don't see why all of you insist on being called by those ridiculous television names! I prefer my real name." "Let it go Sean," Beatrice said with a loud sigh and then finally turned to me. "So, now you've met the Scooby Gang," she said, suddenly finding it hard not to grin. "It's not quite what you expected, is it?" I opened my mouth to reply, but was cut off when another young woman stumbled into the room. "Wait for me!" she cried as she hit the ground. "Did you have to let her come?" Xander grumbled. "Xander, you were a lot nicer last night when I was..." "I don't want to hear it!" Beatrice said quickly. Dawn was old enough to make her own decisions and mistakes. She was no longer in school and paid her fair share of the rent. As far as Beatrice was concerned, that made her an adult. The Slayer tried hard to forget the fact that Dawn was her little sister at times like this. It wasn't easy. "I was just kidding Dawny," Xander said. "Don't believe him," Willow said, causing everyone to look her way. I actually did a double take. She had her pants open and she was using one hand to play with herself. The oddest part was that no one else seemed to notice. "He's a lying bastard!" "You've just never forgiven me for taking your virginity!" Xander sneered. "Please!" Willow said sarcastically. "You weren't even close to being my first!" "You were mine. It wasn't particularly romantic in your parent's basement with your mother's nagging voice screaming down the stairs every few minutes, but you did take my virginity," Cordelia put in. "Not very well mind you, but gone is gone." "Fuck you!" Xander cried. "You're not man enough," she taunted. Xander took a step toward her, earning himself another trip across the room and into the wall from Beatrice. "Sometimes, I really wonder why I bring you guys along," the Slayer sighed loudly. "B...B...Buffy, I thought you said we were here to k... k... kill Dracula?" Giles asked with a frown. "That's him," she said, pulling her favorite wooden stake from her sleeve and waiving it in front of my face. I smelled an interesting scent. "It's seems you use Mr. Pointy for a bit more than killing vampires," I laughed. "I do not!" Beatrice cried, blushing madly. "I can smell your sex on it." "It must have been Willow!" Beatrice said quickly. "Ew! Yuck!" the redhead cried. "I may be a nympho, but even I wouldn't stick that thing inside me!" "Don't look at me," Cordelia said quickly. "I prefer something a bit larger than that." "Beatrice, I didn't say I smelled a woman," I smirked. "I said I smelled you. I never forget the scent of a woman once I've had her." "I did not..." she began to cry, but Giles interrupted. "This is n... n... not Dracula!" he interjected. "Dra..Dra..Dracula has blond hair." "That's Drac junior," Beatrice sighed and explained. "This is his father. The original Dracula!" "Cool!" Willow cried, looking at me like I was lunch. "I would love to see how the original reacts to a little pussy!" "Little? Please!" Xander said snidely. "Your pussy is so stretch out by now that even Wolfie won't fuck you anymore!" "Oh, he still comes around every once in a while," Willow said, not sounding particularly offended by Xander's words. "In fact he visited during the last full moon. It was quite a time! It took me days to get all the hair out of my teeth!" "You!" Dawn snorted. "I still have fang marks!" "We need to talk later," Beatrice said to her sister. If Dawny was hanging out with Willow and Oz as well as Xander, then maybe it was time for a big sister talk despite the Slayer's promise to stay out of her little sister's affairs. "Will you all please be quiet!" Giles snapped without stuttering for the first time. He turned to Beatrice. "Are you trying to tell me that you brought all of us here to help you kill the father of all vampires?" "I think we're up for it," Beatrice said with false confidence. I'd already proven my ability to best her during our last encounter. "My dear," Giles said, no longer sounding like a frightened little man. "You've missed three important facts. First, you've vastly underestimated the amount of firepower we'd need to take out the original Dracula. You really should have read the tomes I provided after you faced Vlad junior. They had a font of information that you would have found useful." Buffy rolled her eyes, but Giles seemed not to notice as he continued. "Second, this gentleman is on the Watcher's 'Non Caedo' list. It's against the rules to kill anyone on that list." "I know that!" Beatrice said nervously. "I just figured he was on it because he was so powerful. I know we can take him if we all work together!" "This group?" Giles asked in disbelief, gesturing to the others. The Vampire Slayer looked around and noticed Xander and Oz pushing each other once again. Willow was kissing Dawn's neck from behind and rubbing the youngest Scooby's breasts. Dawny was not fighting it. Beatrice shook her head and was obviously distracted and searched until she found Cordy. The dark haired beauty was wrapped around my arm whispering rather interesting ideas into my ear. "That's it! All of you get out!" Beatrice cried. "I'll do the job myself! I'm ready this time!" She took a threatening step toward me. Cordelia backed away. "I really think we have better things to do with our time than fight," I sighed. "Me too!" Cordelia put in. She was still looking at me as if she'd love to try some of the thing she suggested. Truth be told, so would I. "I'm the Vampire Slayer!" Beatrice cried. "And I'm going to slay you!" She leapt at me. Giles stepped between us at the last second. Beatrice damn neared killed herself avoiding him. She ended up landing on her shoulder hard. "I'm afraid that's not possible," he said, his sweat glistening in the candlelight. For a coward, he could be awful gutsy. I wouldn't have wanted to try that. "But..." Beatrice began. "Buffy, he's on the 'Non Caedo' list for another reason that the council doesn't like to talk about," Giles sighed. "It's the third fact you need to know." "Fine, what is it?" she snapped as she stood and rubbed the shoulder she fell on while avoided Giles. "Well, a small minority of the council believes that the original Dracula has some sort of mystic connection to all those who came after him. Actually, their research was very interesting. They looked in the Grogg El Index and cross referenced the Grimm's fairy tales to come up with some very interesting..." "In English, Giles!" Beatrice grumbled. "And get to the point!" "Oh all right!" the Englishman snapped in annoyance. "There's a possibility that killing the Dracula will instantaneously cause the deaths of all vampires." "But that's great news!" Beatrice cried. "We can kill him and wipe out every last one of them!" "Are you mad?" Giles asked in amazement. "Even suggesting such a thing would bring the Watcher's council down on our heads if they find out! If they thought for a moment that we were here hunting the original Dracula they'd kill us both and go find the next Slayer!" "I don't understand," Beatrice moaned in confusion. "My dear, it's simple really," Giles continued, calmly considerably. "You see it in every field. It's called job security." "Job security?" Beatrice asked in disbelief. "Certainly," Giles replied in a no nonsense tone. "Maybe you're willing to be out of a job, but what do you think would happen to the Watcher's council without any vampires?" "But that's so wrong!" "Perhaps," Giles shrugged. "But it's prevalent in many fields. I'm sure you've heard that the gas companies keep buying up any new discoveries that would cut down on oil consumption. Who hasn't heard of the plans for an engine that get a hundred miles to the gallon locked in some vault somewhere?" "And don't even get me started on affordable health care or medicine!" Giles added. "Doctors crying about malpractice insurance while driving around in one hundred thousand dollar cars and living in mansions! Pills that easily cost ten to twenty times as much in the United States as they do in Canada!" "But we fight evil!" Beatrice cried, her eyes literally filling with water. Of course we do," Giles said in a comforting tone. "But it's about time you start realizing that the world is filled with grays. Beatrice, you need to grow up." "Why haven't you ever told me this before?" she asked, slumping down into a chair. "Please!" Giles said with a shake of his head. "Most Slayers don't live out the year they're Chosen! And they're always so young! Why confused them with such unimportant details?" "Unimportant?" "Well yes, to them," Giles explained. "Important to a new Slayer is how to stay alive through the night. You're the first to survive this long. Truthfully, I'm a little nervous that the council might not be thrilled about that fact." "Not thrilled?" Beatrice asked. I moved toward her and handed her a glass of scotch. She was not having a good day. "Didn't you watch the television show?" Giles asked. "The real council is surprising similar to the one portrayed there. They don't like it when the Slayer starts thinking on her own. I've been able to cover for up until now, but if they hear about this..." "Hey Buffy!" Willow said as she walked up, once again playing with herself as she looked at me. "If we're not going to kill him, can I see what it feels like to fuck the granddaddy of all vampires?" "I saw him first!" Cordelia cried, taking my arm possessively. Buffy turned and saw Oz standing behind her little sister. He was in werewolf form and fucking Dawny's pussy good and hard. Dawn saw Beatrice looking and smiled sexily at her older sister. "Oh Buffy! You have no idea how good this feels!" she said. "When he comes his dick knots up just like a dogs! If feels amazing!" "Hey Dawny!" Xander said, holding his rather large dick out toward her mouth. His pants were down at his ankles. "Hercules is in the mood for some fun!" "Don't go near my sister with that thing!" Beatrice cried. "You still have VD from that demon! That cock of yours oozes and grows longer everyday!" "Don't worry," Xander grinned. "Willow found a potion that cured me." "But it still looks a lot bigger than it used to," Beatrice argued. "Well, I cured the disease," Willow grinned. "But I saw no reason to get rid of all the symptoms." "Oh wow!" Cordelia cried noticing just how long Xander's cock was. "Maybe I will give you another chance." "Get in line babe!" Xander grinned as he stuffed his cock into Dawny's mouth. Oz howled at that exact moment and came deep in Dawn's pussy. She pulled Xander's cock from her mouth and cried over and over again, "I love the knot! I love the knot!" Xander jammed his large tool back down her throat. I could still hear her mumbling the words around his monster. It wasn't long before Dawn blasted into one of her own orgasms. "Why don't you two takes Giles and join the others," I said to Willow and Cordy. "I'd like to talk to Beatrice alone for a moment." "Okay," Willow said, taking Giles's hand in her sticky fingers. "I've always wanted to see if I could kill a guy by fucking him to death. Giles looks like a good candidate." "I wouldn't bet on it," Beatrice put in numbly. "He may not be much to look at, but wait until he uses that wickedly long tongue of his on you." "Oh boy!" Willow cried, dragging Giles away with more enthusiasm. "Don't take too long," Cordelia said to me with a sexy smile. "I want you. I think I'd even be willing to share you with blondie here if that's what it takes." "Hold that thought!" I smiled. "We'll be with you in a few minutes." I saw Beatrice watch Cordy move away. "Are you okay?" I asked. "I guess," she shrugged, but did not go on. "What are you thinking?" I asked, trying a different approach. Beatrice actually smiled slightly. "That I wouldn't mind watching you drink that bitch dry," the Slayer said. "She's always trying to steal my men!" "Well, she did offer to share," I smiled. "That's new," Beatrice admitted. "She must really want you." "True," I said. "But maybe that's only part of the story. Maybe she steals your boyfriends because she wants to get your attention?" "Oh, I'll give her attention!" Beatrice nearly growled. "Will you?" I asked, moving closer. The sexual tension between us spiked. Beatrice shook her head. "I still think I should kill you," she said, forgetting about Cordelia. "And take on the Watcher's council?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "They sound almost as scary as the NRA." "Not that scary!" Beatrice laughed, despite the situation. "Next you'll be trying to compare them to the Labor Unions!" "It's good to see you laugh," I smiled. Beatrice moved closer and kissed me. I returned the embrace and started pulling her clothes off. She didn't resist. It wasn't long before she was standing naked in front of me. I spun her around toward her friends and held her from behind while I kissed her neck. I didn't bite, although I did let my teeth brush her neck. She shivered in anticipation. "You're friends seem to be having a good time," I whispered between kisses. Willow was in a sixty-nine position with Giles. The old man's tongue seemed to be doing the trick. The little tramp was obviously close to cumming. Cordy had Xander on his back while she rode his new improved cock. He kept trying to say something, but Cordy had her hand over his mouth. "Xander, please shut up!" the dark haired girl was saying. "This feels amazing and I don't want you to ruin it by saying something stupid!" He grunted some reply, but again, her hand blocked it. "I have to remember to try that the next time I play with Xander," Beatrice said. "His mouth can really be a mood killer!" "Look at your poor sister," I said with a shake of my head. Beatrice looked and then started laughing. I took another look and couldn't help. I joined her. The Real Buffy Ch. 02 "Come on Oz! We're missing the orgy!" Dawny cried as tried to pull away. She was looking at him over her shoulder. Oz was standing there half in wolf form. He shrugged. "I'm sorry, there not a lot I can do," he sighed. "You'll just have to wait until the knot goes down." Dawn tried to pull away again, but it was useless. She noticed us looking. "Buffy! Please help me!" she cried. "I don't want to be stuck here while everyone else is having fun!" "Dawny, now you know why I won't let Oz fuck me," Beatrice shrugged. "I can't afford to be stuck in that position." "Oh, it's well worth it," Dawn said, calming visibly as she remembered the feeling of Oz cumming in her. "You'd have to try it to understand." "You can, you know," I said softly into Beatrice's ear. "I'll stand guard over you." I knew that her doing something like that would take a whole hell of a lot of trust. "Maybe later," she said as she turned and faced me. "I'm sure we can think of something to do until then." She turned back toward me and pulled off my clothes. Soon we were embracing. Her warm body felt good against mine. "Do you want to stay here or go to my room?" I asked. "Oh, let's stay here," Beatrice replied. "They may be the most fucked up bunch of friends a person could have, but they are my family." "Besides, you'd like to try out Oz later," I smiled. "Actually, you'd probably like another go with Xander now that he's a big man." "You really can read minds!" she laughed. I didn't bother correcting her. It didn't take a mind reader to know that this Slayer was one horny bitch! Look at the people she surrounded herself with? "Where do you want to play?" I asked. "How about here?" she said, throwing herself over the arm of the couch and sticking her ass high in the air. I got behind her and pushed deep with one motion. "Hey!" Xander cried at Beatrice. Cordy's fingers had slipped from his mouth now that she was cumming. "You never let me fuck you that way!" "I only let guys who can take me in a fair fight have me this way," she called back between grunts. I held her shoulders and I continued to pump in and out of her. Eventually I leaned over and started kissing her neck. She pulled her hair aside and said sexily, "Go ahead. You know you want to!" "Thank you," I smiled, showing my fangs. "You don't take so much this time," she giggled. "I'll do my best," I whispered in her ear before giving her a classic vampire kiss. Okay, maybe biting her neck while I was fucking her from behind wasn't a classic vampire kiss, but it should have been! Again, I felt the euphoria that only a Slayer's blood gives. A sexual charge of energy flew through my body making my dick even harder. "Oh wow!" Beatrice groaned. "I've never felt so full before!" The more blood I drank the more powerful I felt, both physically and sexually, but I was careful not to drain her like I did the last time. It wasn't long before Beatrice eyes fluttered in orgasm. I took one more swallow of her blood and then slammed into her hard and came! It was at that moment that one of my specially treated unbreakable windows shattered. The glass blew into the room. "What the fuck?" Xander cried, looking up from Willow who was giving him one very experienced blowjob. Floating in the window was a very pissed and powerful demon! That window was supposed to be one of the strongest types of specially treated Plexiglas in existence. She'd taken it out like so much paper-mache. The demon was holding a leash that was linked to a blond girl's throat. The poor thing was dressed in leather and chains. She was thrashing about as if she were tied a gallows. "Oh shit!" Oz cried. The knot in his dick must have suddenly shrunk because Dawny popped free and sprawled across the floor. "What bitch negated my Vengeance spell!" the demon cried, taking a moment to look at Willow. "Was it you, Wendy Witch?" "Anya, I really hate it when you call me that," the red haired girl sighed. "Why?" the vengeance demon asked. "It's your real name after all." "Anya, if you don't let go of that leash soon, Tara is going to pass out," Beatrice said slowly as she moved out from under me. The vengeance demon dropped the leash and Tara fell with a loud thump. "Anya? Tara?" I asked in surprise. "The final two members of the Scoobies," Beatrice sighed. "They've been on vacation." "Are they anything like their television counterparts?" "Aren't we all?" she replied softly before sighing again, this time rather loudly. She shook herself from her thoughts and then added, "Actually, Anya is a lot like her TV version. Even the name is really hers," Beatrice explained. "Tara, not so much. We don't even know her real name. The television show showed a far lighter version of her family than the real thing. They were far crueler and always just called her the Whore or Slave, that is before we killed them all." "I thought you didn't kill humans?" I asked in surprise. "Evil is evil," Beatrice shrugged. "Poor Tara's come a long way, but she's not happy unless someone is bossing her around." "So then the outfit..." I began. "Is Tara's normal clothes," the Slayer finished. "If she wears anything at all." "Anya! Don't you d... d... dare cast a spell at Willow!" Giles cried, drawing our attention back to the Scoobies. "S... S... Someone will get hurt if you to go at it a... a... again!" "Anya, please don't," Buffy said with another sigh. "It seems that we're guests here and it would be impolite to destroy Vlad's house." "Vlad's?" the demon said, staring at me intently. A moment later she was standing in front of me in human guise nearly jumping up and down in excitement. "Oh wow! It's you! You probably don't remember me, but I was at one of your lectures some time ago on how to melt in to the human population when wounded or close to daybreak." "That would have been during the renaissance when I was teaching at that college in Paris," I mused. "Those were the good old days." "You're telling me!" Anya grinned. "You didn't sleep with her, did you?" Willow asked me in disgust. "Maybe he did," Anya shrugged. "What's it to you?" "So Anya, Willow, what's the problem here?" I asked, trying to use my notoriety to calm everyone down. "Well, Wendy here should know better than to interfere with one of my vengeance spell!" Anya said threateningly. "Vengeance spell?" I asked. "A vengeance spell for who?" "Whom," Giles corrected. I frowned and ignored the old man. "For me!" the demon snapped. "There no rule that says I can't exact a little vengeance of my own as long as I do my job." "Why would you cast a spell on one of your friends?" "Friends?" Anya cried. "Pah! Would a friend leave me at the alter with all my family watching? Do you have any idea how much it cost to get all my vengeance demon bridesmaids dresses and gifts?" "Xander, you didn't!" I said looking at the young man and shaking my head. "Hey! I was willing to marry her, but then she drops on me, the night before the wedding mind you, that I can't sleep around anymore! What kind of marriage is that?" "A traditional one," Anya cried. "Sure, back when marriages lasted only ten or twenty years!" he snorted. "I'm still young. I'm not ready to sleep with only one woman or demon for the rest of my life!" "So, you're the one who gave Xander the VD?" I asked, somehow not really surprised. "Cecile broke up with me and I gave him one last ride and something a little extra," she said smiling nastily. "I figured that he'd want something to remember me by." "Cecile?" I asked with a grin. "Don't go there!" Xander warned. "It's a family name." No wonder most of the Scoobies decided to take on their television characters names! First Wendy Witch and now Cecile. "Willow, why did you interfere with Anya's spell?" I asked. It looked like the threat of a magical battle between the witch and demon was disappearing, but I continued probing anyway. It was probably safer to get them to work through whatever was bothering them. "I don't remember," the witch said. She was obviously distracted as she pulled Tara's face against her pussy. Tara was smiling as she lapped at it happily. This caused Willow to sigh. "Hey!" Anya cried, trying to pull Tara away. "This is still my week to be Tara's master! Get away from her!" "Now I remember!" Willow snapped angrily. "She took Tara away!" "I don't understand," I said with a shake of my head. "No one licks pussy like Tara," Willow continued. "But I needed someone to keep me busy. I get so lonely!" "But why Xander?" "Xander wasn't my first choice, but he was available," the witch replied. "Besides, I was mad at Anya for taking Tara away!" "Was it really that bad?" Anya asked, starting to realize what she'd done. "Definitely," Willow shrugged. "It's no secret that I'm a nymphomaniac. I'd yell it from the highest mountaintop if it got me laid often enough! You know how I get and Tara's the only one who can keep pace with me!" "What about me?" Anya asked with a smile. "Oh, you being a demon and all makes you a lot of fun," Willow grinned. "But you have your job and it keeps pulling you away at the most inopportune times." "Everyone loves a vengeance demon," Anya sighed, and then shook her head and added, "Look, I'm sorry about all this. How about next time I take you and Tara with me on vacation?" "The both of us together?" Willow asked, her eyes flashing in interest. "We've never done that before!" "Think you can survive it?" Anya teased. "Better than you!" Willow cried, pulling the vengeance demon's mouth to her own. "Well, that seems to be settled," Beatrice said with a shrug. "Are you sure that's the last of the Scooby Gang?" I asked. "No Angel or Spike ready to pop up?" "Well, I was thinking about calling you Angel?" she asked with a smile. I returned it and said, "I'll be Angel to your Buffy." "Hey cool!" Cordy cried. "We've got an Angel! I get to fuck him now!" "Wrong show," Beatrice grinned. Cordy looked crestfallen until Beatrice laughed and added, "Oh go ahead! I'm going to give Oz a ride." "Really?" both Cordy and Oz cried at the same time. Beatrice looked at me and I nodded. She smiled. Either she trusted me far more than I expected or she stopped caring. Certainly she'd received enough shocks recently. I promised myself to keep an eye out for her, just in case. "Sure," Buffy replied, walking up to Cordy and giving her a wet kiss. "Just be sure to save some for me later. I plan on giving you a work out!" "I'd like that," Cordy said, almost nervously, quite unlike her television character. "Come on Oz," Beatrice said, taking hold of his cock. The head was already popping out of his fur. She gave me one last look and grinned, adding, "Have fun!" I pulled Cordy's naked body to mine and kissed her. It wasn't long before we were lying on the carpet in the middle of the room. I was working my cock in and out of Cordelia, building to a nice orgasm when I took a moment to look around the room. Xander had Dawn's legs thrown over his shoulders while he plowed her pussy. Dawny was crying out with every thrust. Anya and Willow were really going at it! There were sparks literally shooting from their bodies! Giles had Tara over the arm of the couch in the same position that Beatrice and I used earlier. He was sweating profusely and pumping for everything he was worth. Tara seemed oblivious except for a small smile. The Slayer herself was in the corner of the room with her arms against the wall. She had her back arched as Oz's long wolf like tongue bathed her pussy from behind. The werewolf stood as I watched and directed his cock to Beatrice's pussy. He pushed in and howled! There was nothing gentle about his actions as he started fucking Beatrice from behind. "That's it Sean! Fuck me!" the Slayer called out, using Oz's real name. "Let me feel that knot everyone keeps telling me about!" The werewolf howled again. "Soon!" he cried in a deep, raspy voice as his hips blurred. "Angel," I heard Cordy say. It took me a moment to realize she was talking to me. "Please pay attention! I'm so close!" I looked down at her and smiled. "Are you still a vampire virgin?" I asked the panting brunette. "Not anymore!" she gasped. "You're fucking me as we speak!" "I don't mean have you ever had sex with a vampire," I answered. "In fact, with a body like yours, it quite probable that one of the guys you slept with before me was a vampire." "Really? You think?" Cordy said, sounding even more excited. "I'd bet on it," I replied. She smiled briefly, but then quickly frowned. "Well then, what is a vampire virgin?" I kissed her neck and let my teeth brush her skin in answer. She gasped in understanding and then cried, "I don't want to be a vampire!" "I have no intention of making you a vampire," I smiled. "But I wouldn't mind a little taste!" "No way!" Cordy said quickly. I pulled my face far enough away to look into her eyes. She was strong willed, but I knew I could control her if I wanted. I didn't and wouldn't, at least not until I tried one last conventional argument. After that, well, we'll see. Cordelia's heart was pumping hard as I fucked her and I could feel her blood pushing threw her veins and arteries as we both neared our orgasms. There was no way I could pass up a chance as such a delectable morsel! I'd used my powers if I had to. Who wouldn't? "Be reasonable. Think about it. Buffy let me have a taste," I said to the dark haired girl after going back to kissing her neck. "Really?" Cordy asked. I smiled and whispered in her ear. "Would I lie to you?" She pushed my face away and looked into my eyes. I was tempted, but waited until she made her decision. I kept up the pace I was setting with my cock. It was keeping her just on the edge of her orgasm. "Well, if Buffy let you," she finally smiled. "I don't see why I shouldn't." "Thank you," I smiled and went back to kissing her neck. She tensed, waiting for the sting of my bite, but I wasn't ready yet. I did however pick up the pace and take a quick look around again. Cordy relaxed under me when I didn't immediately bite her and started responding. I looked up and saw that Xander was still fucking little Dawny, but now Tara was squatting over her face. Beatrice's little sister was sucking all of Giles's cum out of the dirty blond. Poor Giles looked passed out on the couch. That didn't stop Anya from kneeling in front of him and sucking on his cock. The old man groaned, but I could see him smiling slightly. Oz was really going at Beatrice now! She was obviously enjoying it just as much as him. The Slayer was slamming back with each thrust. The werewolf was drooling profusely with his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. He couldn't last much longer. "Most of our little adventures end this way," Willow said to me with a smile. She was standing close to me playing with her pussy again. "Want a taste?" "In just a moment!" I groaned. Her pussy was close to my mouth and it dripped with her excitement. So she was a nymphomaniac? I knew she'd probably fucked hundred of guys. That didn't make her a bad person. Besides, I probably fucked more women. After all, she'd only been alive for a mere twenty or so years. I shook my head and refocused on Cordelia. I bit down on her neck and tasted the hot brunette for the first time. She was no longer a vampire virgin. "Oh yes!" Cordy cried out as she came. Her blood was exciting and tasty, but of course nothing like Beatrice's. Then again, I was feeling a bit of the sexual energy I felt earlier. Maybe Cordelia was more like Beatrice then anyone knew? More likely, the sexual rush combined with the taste of blood reminded my body of how sexually satisfying fucking Beatrice made me feel. In either case, I took one last long suck and then pushed into Cordy as far as I could and came. "More! I want more!" she cried as my first jet of cum filled her. Her head was thrashing from side to side and her nailed left scratches across my back. "Oh Sean! I feel it! I feel it! The knot is amazing!" Beatrice cried from her spot by the wall. The werewolf howled one last time, long and loud as he slammed into the Slayer and came! I could see Beatrice shuddering in her own orgasm! "My turn!" Willow cried, shoving me off of Cordy and trying to plant her pussy on my face. I shook free of her and stood. "Hey!" "Shut up and come here!" I snapped at the witch. "You'll like what I have planned." "I like a strong man!" the red head cried and moved closer. "Then you'll love this," I smiled and reached down with both hands. I grabbed her and flipped the witch over. Her pussy was now only inches from my face while my cock was bouncing against her chin. We both started licking each other. Her pussy was hot and sticky. It was also a bit puffy, but that was to be expected considering Willow always seemed to have something stuffed in it. "Oh! The blood is all rushing to my head!" the upside down witch giggled as she continued sucking Cordy's cum from my cock. "Not all of it!" I said, biting into her thigh and tasting Willow. She probably wasn't a vampire virgin. In fact, I doubted Willow was a virgin of any sort, but so what? She was still tasty. Witches usually were! "Xander! Please stop! I can't take much more!" I heard Dawn cry. "To hell with that!" he growled. "Xander, let go of my sister or I'll..." "You'll what?" Xander grinned, looking at Beatrice with a grin. She was still standing next to the wall with Oz as her back. It was obvious that the knot hadn't gone down yet. "Eventually, I'll be free of Oz," Beatrice sighed. "I'll make you pay for any damage you do to my little sister." "Promises! Promises!" Xander cried, but he pulled out of Dawny and moved behind Anya. "Hey!" the vengeance demon cried when she felt his cock fill her from behind. She took a moment away from Giles's cock to look back at Xander. "I'm still made at you!" "Oh come on babe!" Xander said. "You were always the best! Let's not fight." "I hate you!" Anya cried, but then sighed and shrugged, adding, "But sex is sex. Keep fucking! At least you're good for something!" "That's my girl!" Xander grinned. Beatrice looked in my direction and shook her head. I was too busy to say anything, but I did wink at her. She laughed. "Oh hey!" Willow cried as my cock popped out of her mouth. "It's Spike and he's brought friends!" The witch was looking toward the window that Anya broke earlier. Standing in it was my son Vlad. His blond hair was longer than I remembered. "And here I thought you'd need help when I heard the Slayer was after you," my son said with a shake of his head. "Oh well, we're here. Might as well dive in and take care of this pesky Slayer and her friends." The vampires with him growled and laughed as they climbed through the window. There were quite a lot of them. I lost track after twenty. I noticed Buffy trying to disengage from Oz, but they were still stuck. "Vlad," I said, dropping poor Willow on her head. "I'm afraid I can't allow that. They're my guests." "Figures!" my son snapped. "You were never much of a vampire!" "Vlad," I said carefully. "Can't we just..." "No!" my son cried out and then turned to his friends and added, "Get them!" "And the night started out so promising," I sighed as I grabbed the nearest vampire and tossed him into the far wall.