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The Many and Varied Shades of Gay

By: bb1212



Hi and welcome to the ultimate gay test for men. Taking the test is easy, all you have to do is select the lowest answer in each group that is correct for you (B is lower than A, C is lower than B).

You need to have been sexually active to take this test.

This test applies to activities that you have allowed to occur (in this test getting too drunk to prevent it is considered to be allowing it).

This test will show your lifetime average not necessarily your latest tendencies.

For the sake of this test only, a female has a pussy and a male has a cock (those are tools) the presence of tits and long hair (those are toys) is irrelevant unless otherwise specified. 

Just answer each question truthfully, and write down the score that applies to your answer. (The number at the end of the answer.) Once you have finished add up your total score and compare the result to the table to see just where you are on the 'Gay Meter'.

Most important - Have fun!

These are the questions, if there isn't your exact answer there just pick the closest one.

1. You have had a finger in your ass: 

A: Never             4

B: Female doctor only                   3

C: Doctor only                        2

D: Female only                        1

E: Male                              0

2. Your hair is:

A: A crew cut                        4

B: Usually messy                        3

C: Usually neat                        2

D: Styled                        1

E: Styled and coloured/tinted            0

3. You have had your ass licked:

A: Never                              4

B: By a female only                  2

C: By a male                        0

4. You have had a toy (tickler, vibrator, dildo, strap on etc) in your ass:

A: Never                              4

B: Used by female                   2

C: Used by male (including you)            0

5. You have had a butt plug in your ass:

A: Never                              6

B: Twice or less                   2

C: More than twice                  0

6. You drive a:

A: Truck/pickup                        4

B: V8                              3

C: Family car                        2

D: Small car                        1

E: Hybrid                        0

7. You get horny looking at

A: Only sexy women                  10

B: Most women                        6

C: Any sexy person                  5

D: An attractive transsexual (pre-op)      4

E: Only sexy men                        0

8. You have had a cock in your ass:

A: Never                              20

B: Once                               7

C: More than once                  0

9. You have watched 'Brokeback Mountain':

A: Never                              2

B: Once                               1

C: More than once                  0

10. You have had sex with:

A: Only ever females                  40

B: More than 95% females                  30

C: More than 70% females                  25

D: Equal females and males            20

E: More than 70% males                  15

F: More than 95% males                  10

G: Only ever males                  0

11. Your favourite drink is:

A: Beer                              7

B: Spirits                        5

C: I don't drink                        3

D: Wine (not Chardonnay)                  1

E: Chardonnay                        0

12. Your cock has been in an ass:

A: Never or only ever females            40

B: More than 95% females                  30

C: More than 70% females                  25

D: Equal females and males            20

E: More than 70% males                  15

F: More than 95% males                  10

G: Only ever males                  0

13. Your wardrobe contains clothes that are:

A: Mostly black                        7

B: A mix of colours                  6

C: Many pastel shades                  2

D: Spandex                        0

14. You have performed oral sex on:

A: Never or only ever females            40

B: More than 95% females             30

C: More than 70% females                  25

D: Equal females and males            20

E: More than 70% males                  15

F: More than 95% males                  10

G: Only ever males                  0

15. You normally do your fingernails with:

A: A Bowie knife                        6

B: Your teeth                        5

C: Nail clippers                        3

D: An emery board/file                  1

E: You get manicures                  0

16. Your normal sexual partner is:

A: Female                        6

B: Androgynous                        3

C: Male                              0

17. When you see a spider you:

A: Kill it                        4

B: Take it outside and release it            2

C: Squeal and run away                  0

18. Your cock has been sucked by:

A: Never or only ever females            40

B: More than 95% females                  30

C: More than 70% females                  25

D: Equal females and males            20

E: More than 70% males                  15

F: More than 95% males                  10

G: Only ever males                  0

19. You shave your:

A: Nothing at all                  6

B: Face                              5

C: Legs                              1

D: Balls                              0

20. You read magazines (or watch movies) containing:

A: Straight porn                        4

B: Sport and or cars                  3

C: Home decorating hints                  1

D: Gay porn                         0

21. Your favourite colour is:

Not pink                              2

Pink                              0

22. You think Justin Bieber is:

A: Highly irritating                  4

B: Untalented                        3

C: Quite good                        1

D: Cute                              0

23. Your ideal dog is a:

A: Pit Bull                        6

B: Rottweiler                        5

C: Labrador                        4

D: Cocker Spaniel                  3

E: Shih Tzu                        2

F: Toy poodle                        1

G: Chiwawa                        0

24. You have piercings in:

A: Nowhere                        4

B: One ear                        3

C: Both ears                        2

D: Nipple(s)                        1

E: Cock      / balls                        0

25. You would prefer to be:

A: Pressing wildflowers into the dirt with a 4x4             4

B: Pressing wildflowers in a book with love             0

26. Your farts sound like:

A: Thunder                        4

B: Well... farts                        2

C: Hissing                        0

27. The last time you had sex with a man was:

A: Never                              40

B: More than 10 years ago                  20

C: Less than 10 years ago                  10

D: Only ever had sex with men            0

28. Your pet name for your penis is:

A: No pet name, it is a cock.            10

B: Willy (or similar)                  5

C: My clitty (or similar)                  0


The Many and Varied Shades of Gay



29. You have never had sex with a:

A: Man because you do not want to            40

B: Man because you have not had the opportunity       25

C: Have had sex with men and women      20

D: Woman because you have not had the opportunity       15

E: Woman because you do not want to      0

30. You have had an enema:

A: Never                              10

B: For medical reasons and hated it      7

C: For medical reasons and it was OK      5

D: For medical reasons and it was exciting      3

E: To make yourself clean                  0

31. It is OK to have sex with a man:

A: Never                              20

B: If the man is feminine (TS, CD etc)      10

C: In prison                        5

D: Always                        0

32. Bi-sexuality is:

A: Just another word for gay            20

B: An excuse for men to have sex with men      18

C: Nirvana                        10

D: An excuse for men to have sex with women 2

E: Just another word for straight            0

OK, you are almost there. Just add up your score now and check it against the 'Gay Meter' below. 

The 'Gay Meter'

If your score is less than 21 you are totally homosexual (gay)

Wow, the phrase 'camp as a row of tents' was invented just for you wasn't it? You are the real thing, and it is quite likely that you work very hard to maintain that image. Congratulations (I think) you are absolutely the 'Queen of queer'. 

If your score is between 21 and 82 you are mostly homosexual (just gay)

It looks like you want to be totally gay but you just can't quite commit right? There are parts of being gay that just don't fit with where you want to be. You have choices now, you can stay right where you are or you can work it a bit harder and find your way into the category above.

If your score is between 83 and 144 you are a bi-curious homosexual (almost gay)

I bet you are quite ugly. You want to be gay but there isn't enough opportunity for sex there because they really only like beautiful boys don't they? Maybe you are just a bit too old, too fat and / or too bald. Probably you are also too lazy to hit the gym. I think your options are not the only thing you keep open.

If your score is between 145 and 206 you are bi-sexual with homosexual tendencies (not truly gay)

Carpe diem has just got to be your motto. (Seize the day for those who have no Latin). You usually like the men, but sometimes you just need a change of scenery, and you want to look out on a boobscape instead of a manscape. But you always return to the men, maybe you like the extra kinkiness?

If your score is between 207 and 215 you are bi-sexual (not gay and not straight)

Yep, you are the real thing aren't you? You are open minded enough, or just desperate enough to be quite happy having sex with anyone, regardless of their equipment. You don't have the morals of an alley cat, you have even less.

If your score is between 216 and 277 you are bi-sexual with heterosexual tendencies (not truly straight)

It might be a conservative upbringing, but you seem to gravitate back to the ladies after you have dabbled with the gents. You are probably married or in a heterosexual relationship and you are keeping your other activities secret. Don't take anything home to the missus now...

If your score is between 278 and 339 you are a bi-curious heterosexual (almost straight)

You are a bit like a sheep staring through the fence at the next field. Is the grass over there greener? Is it sweeter? But you are too afraid to jump the fence and for now you will just make do with stretching the wire as far as possible and seeing what your tongue can discover.

If your score is between 340 and 401 you are mostly heterosexual ( just straight)

Yep, you are the perfect example of the heterosexual man. You say the right things, you do the right things, you do the right person or people too. Maybe buried way back there in your sub conscious there is that persistent question mark, but you can ignore that. For now. 

If your score is more than 402 you are totally heterosexual (straight)

Such a perfect score! Were you really honest? You are more straight than straight. You may be extremely religious, you may belong to an aggressively straight peer group or you may just not have even the slightest gay twinkle in your universe. You are the most likely candidate to post a public comment as 'anonymous' telling everybody that I am an idiot and that I am probably gay myself. Oh well... let the trolling begin.

Thanks for seeing it through. Please now post a public comment and let us all know what your score was and how close to the truth you think it actually is.

BB1212