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Snot Brite and the Seven Pervs Ch. 01

By: bb1212



Authors note. Although this story is in the humour and satire category I have also tried to keep it sexy, and have attempted to at least touch on most genres over the full series. That means if you don't like gay, lesbian, anal, transgender or any of the other categories within Literotica then there may be bits you want to skip over. Please give it a go and let me know what you think, I enjoy getting comments, even those with creative criticism. There are six chapters and they should be put up at the rate of one every week. Do not expect reality, it is a fairy tale.

The story is set way before condoms, so if you want a safe sex message then I suggest that if you are going to masturbate over the hot bits then you wear a condom while reading. Keyboards with sticky keys are no fun.

Please enjoy – BB1212


The Queen entered her private chamber and bolted the door behind her. 

"Elsie." She called, and her tonguemaiden appeared. Elsie was a plain woman in her late twenties, with unruly hair and she was a little overweight. She was called the Queen's tonguemaiden because she had a remarkably talented tongue, which was much more useful to the Queen than her hands, otherwise she would have been a handmaiden. Another value she had to the Queen was that she was very quietly spoken and totally discrete.

"Yes Your Highness?" Elsie said softly. The Queen pirouetted in front of her full-length mirror.

"Bring me the magic dildo." Elsie's eyes narrowed briefly. If anyone had asked her she would have told them that the Queen spent far too much time riding the magic dildo, and not enough time riding King Dominic, but no one asked.

"Yes, Your Majesty." Elsie whispered, and she disappeared into a side chamber. The Queen smiled as she looked at her reflection. She was beautiful; there was no doubt about it. Her figure was strikingly feminine, her hair was long and shiny and her eyes held the kind of promises that brave men would go on suicidal quests for. She had married the King in a huge ceremony just over two years earlier, and had used her magic dildo every month or so to make sure she was still the most beautiful woman in the land. Elsie entered the main chamber again; she was pushing a large device on wooden wheels.

"Where would you like it Your Majesty?" Elsie asked, knowing the reply already. The Queen liked to watch this monster entering her body.

"Here girl," The Queen snapped, "in front of the mirror." Elsie nodded and pushed the device into position. The Queen smiled in anticipation, looking at the massive dildo. It would have been two feet long and, although it started at normal penis girth, at the base it was so thick that the Queen could not touch her fingers and thumbs of both hands together around it. And the Queen had very long fingers. The magic dildo was huge. "My clothes, Elsie." The Queen commanded, and Elsie tore her eyes away from the dildo. She would have loved to have tried it, but didn't dare, both in fear of the Queen's anger, and in fear of the damage that such a huge item could do to her. 

Elsie had only ever had a man inside her once, and that was the King. After his first wife had died he had taken any woman in the castle he wanted when he was horny, and once he had been walking behind Elsie in a corridor when this happened. He had grabbed Elsie and bent her forward across a table, lifting her dress and exposing her virgin hole. Elsie had struggled at first, but when he had said 'Be still woman.' she had realised it was the King, and had meekly surrendered to his will. He had rubbed his cock up and down her slit to lubricate it, and then spat on his hand too, and rubbed that on the end. The King had entered Elsie to his full length in one thrust, making her yelp in pain and surprise. His cock had felt enormous, and Elsie had been amazed not only of the length as it filled her, but also the width as it had stretched her wide. She was whimpering as he started thrusting in and out of her, but the King had not slowed at all. He had fucked her for a long time, and Elsie remembered her embarrassment as some servants had passed them in the hall, politely averting their eyes as the King took his pleasure with the plain servant girl. Eventually he had started thrusting faster and then she had felt the warm liquid squirting inside her as he finally cum. All he had said to her was 'Nice and tight.' and then he walked off satisfied, leaving Elsie to rearrange her clothes and continue her work as if nothing had happened. Although some of the women that the King had taken during this period had become pregnant, this had not happened to Elsie, and she was secretly just a little disappointed that she didn't get to bear the King's baby.

"Elsie, my clothes." The Queen said impatiently, and Elsie jumped and hastened to her. She unlaced the Queen's gown at the back, and then unbuttoned it so she could slip it off her shoulders and down. The Queen stepped out of it and Elsie quickly hung it up to avoid creases. The Queen required her gowns to look perfect. Elsie then removed the Queen's under gown in the same way, and then her petticoats. Eventually the Queen stood naked and beautiful in front of Elsie. As usual Elsie was amazed, it was so easy to see that that the Queen was the most beautiful woman anywhere, and Elsie was surprised that the Queen needed any confirmation.

"You are beautiful, my Queen, there could never be one to match you." Elsie said admiringly. The Queen pirouetted again, looking at her reflection. She had shapely hips and beautifully long and elegant legs. Her tits were amazing too; they stood proudly, the semi erect nipples pointing naturally upwards.

"Yes," she agreed, "a more beautiful woman would definitely be something Elsie." She turned again and went to her bed. "I think I need some preparation." The Queen said, and Elsie smiled. The Queen tasted better than good, and this was a task Elsie enjoyed immensely. 

The Queen lay down on her back on her bed and spread her legs, exposing her impossibly beautiful pussy. The hair was soft and curly, her lips proud and straight. Elsie followed the Queen to the bed and lowered her lips to meet the Queen's. As their lips met both women smiled. This was always good. At first Elsie just lapped gently, poking her tongue into the folds and creases, enjoying the nectar that was within. Her tongue gently probed the Queen's hole, just pushing in far enough to make the Queen squirm. Elsie slowly built up the intensity, occasionally licking the Queen's clit as it poked out of its hood. The Queen shuddered and moaned as the girl between her legs lit the fires of her desires, and then licked them into a blaze. This girl was a true tonguemaiden; she knew just what to do and when to do it. The Queen's hips bucked as the intensity rose, and she was running with the juices that she would need to pass the next erotic test. Elsie had slipped a couple of fingers into the Queen, and she gently added another. The Queen needed all of the stretching she could get. As the Queen's orgasm approached Elsie eventually managed to put her entire hand into the Queen's throbbing pussy. The Queen moaned in ecstasy, and came, her pussy clenching around Elsie's hand, pulsing as she bucked and moaned in delight. Elsie left her hand inside the Queen as the sensations subsided. The Queen smiled weakly.

"Is that four fingers this time Elsie, it feels like a lot?"

"No Your Majesty," Elsie smiled in triumph, "it is my whole hand." The Queen looked in surprise, and then looked at the mirror at the end of her bed. Sure enough the girl's hand was entirely inside her.

"You have excelled yourself my dear." The Queen said happily. "I will reward you, I think tonight I will allow my personal guards to take care of you." Elsie was suddenly worried. The Queen's personal guards were four men who had been chosen not just for their strength, but also for their endowment and stamina.

"You are too kind Your Majesty, I could not possibly..."

"Of course you could." The Queen said, dismissing any argument. "Now let's see how well we can do with the magic dildo today, I have a good feeling, although that might just be your hand in my pussy." Elsie smiled hesitantly and slowly withdrew her hand. Four men. Four very big and very horny men. She wasn't sure if she was going to enjoy this night or not, but she was afraid that it would be not.

The Queen walked slowly to the magic dildo, and climbed onto it. It was like a large chair, and she squatted over the head of the dildo, gently rubbing her wetness onto it, before using her arms and legs together to slowly lower herself onto it. Her eyes were open and she was watching intently in the mirror as it slowly entered her body and spread her pussy lips wide. Elsie watched in fear and envy as the huge item was slowly swallowed. The length was deceptive once it was inside the Queen, it was hard to know how deep it was, but Elsie and the Queen could both see the stretching of her pussy lips as it got wider. The Queen rode the device, working it in and out, and it warmed up with her body engulfing it. The Queen was moaning constantly as she was filled deeper and deeper, and opened wider and wider. Finally she screamed in pain as she reached the limit of her body. Elsie reached around and marked the spot on the dildo where it entered the Queen.

"A new record, Your Majesty." Elsie said in excitement.

"Bloody good effort love." The magic dildo said happily, and it suddenly throbbed with life, making the Queen moan even more. The Queen waited for a moment, to settle her feelings, and then she spoke.

"Magic dildo, huge and grand. Who's the sexiest in the land?" 

"Do we really have to do that rhyming shit?" The dildo asked.

"You are a magic dildo," the Queen said reproachfully, "and that's the way it's done." The dildo sighed.

"OK, you win." It paused, tickling the Queen's inner depths absently, and making her gasp. "Magnificent Queen so very tight, the sexiest one would be Snot Brite."

"What?" Elsie cowered as the words sunk in; this was not going to be pretty.

"Magnificent Queen so very tight, the sexiest one would be Snot Brite." The dildo repeated. Snot Brite was the Crown Princess, and the daughter of the King by his first wife. She was the only child that he had ever Sired (Kings Sire children, the rest of us just sire children) legitimately, and she was the only woman even close to the Queen in beauty.

"Bloody dildo, wrong somehow, why do you just say her name now?" The Queen said in a furious tone.

"Literotica has this rule, and underage just wouldn't do. Snot Brite just turned eighteen today, her tits are better, I now can say."

"Arrrrgh." The Queen screamed in anger, tensing as she did.

"Arrrrgh." The magic dildo echoed. "Take it easy love, you might snap me off the way you are going."

"And so I should." The Queen said angrily, and she started to slide up the dido.

"Wait till I come." The dildo said desperately. "That's what keeps you so beautiful." Elsie's ears pricked up, she didn't know that. The Queen slipped off the dildo anyway.

"Maybe next time," she said shortly, "if you have better news for me. I'm off to fix this problem. Dress me Elsie." She commanded, and Elsie timidly did.

"Can I help any more, Your Majesty?" Elsie asked as she finished.

"No." The Queen said, "I'm off to get the King out of the way, then I'll take care of Snot Brite once and for all." She laughed evilly and left the room.

"Go on." The magic dildo whispered to Elsie after the door closed. "You know you want to." Elsie looked at the door nervously.

"I shouldn't." She said.

"She's gone." The magic dildo said. "She won't be back for ages."

"It's wrong." Elsie said.

"It will make you beautiful." The dido said, cajoling. Elsie slowly walked to the door and latched it. She walked back to the dildo, nervous but anticipating. "Come to me," the dildo whispered, "wrap yourself around me." Elsie looked around nervously. She 

lifted her dress over her head and let it fall to the floor. Nervously she climbed into the position she had seen the Queen use so many times, she moved her petticoat aside and rubbed herself on the end of the dildo. "Ooooh yeah," the dildo moaned, "do it baby, slip me into that nice, tight hole." Elsie steeled herself and then squatted down, gasping as the dildo went inside.

"My goodness," she gasped, "you are so big." 

"Damn, but you are tight." The dildo said.

"I'm sorry," Elsie said, "I'm not going to get you anywhere near as deep as the Queen can."

"That's fine." The dildo said. "The most sensitive bit is just under the head anyway. I prefer tight actually, and you could drive a Kenworth truck up the Queen without touching the sides." Elsie frowned in confusion.

"What's a Kenworth truck?" She asked.

"Ooops." The Dildo said. "Forget it, or just ask your great, great, great, great, great, great granddaughter. Now fuck me girl, make me come." Elsie started to ride the dildo, slipping it in and out of her body, and slowly going faster as she relaxed and started to enjoy the sensation of being filled.

"This is good." She said, half in surprise. "I expected it to hurt more."

"Less talk, more motion." The dildo said, and Elsie complied.

"Oh, fuck yeah," the dildo shouted, "ride me baby, ride me." And Elsie rode it faster and faster, and then the pleasure between her legs surged and soared, and Elsie came on the dildo just as the dildo came in her. Elsie sagged and the dildo sighed.

"Bloody hell," the dildo gasped, "it's true."

"What's true?" Elsie moaned.

"Simultaneous orgasms, you know the Beatles song, 'Come Together'?"

"I didn't know beetles could sing." 

"They can in Liverpool."

"Where?" 

"Don't bother." Elsie slowly slipped herself off the dildo, and it started to lose its pulse.

"You'd better come back darling, you need me and I need you." The dildo said faintly.

"I will." Elsie promised, and she meant it.

The Queen was furious when she found King Dominic, but she was careful not to show it. He was playing with his treasure again, just rolling in gold and precious stones.

"Darling," he said happily, "come and join me, we can make love in the treasure."

The Queen shook her head.

"No," she said gently, "the last time I did that I was shitting diamonds for days." The King giggled.

"At least I got to come into some money." He said happily. "So what do you suggest?"

"Anonymous blow job." The Queen said.

"Oh, goody," the King replied, "I haven't heard of that one, how do you play it?" The Queen held out her hand.

"Come with me and I'll show you." She said. Ten minutes later they were in the torture chamber and King Dominic was chained to the wall. All he wore was his crown, and his cock stuck out in front of him proudly.

"Now what?" He asked, excited. The Queen lowered her mouth to his cock, and swallowed it down, licking the underside. 

"Oh, my." The King moaned. "But what makes it anonymous?" The Queen pulled back and stood up in front of him.

"This." She said happily. And then she blindfolded him. "Now you won't be able to say for sure if it's me or someone else sucking your cock." As she said this a pageboy reluctantly walked into the room as the Queen beckoned him. He shook his head nervously but the Queen just pointed, and the young man knelt in front of the King. The Queen grabbed his hair and forced his head onto the waiting cock. The King giggled.

"Oooh this is good," he said, "I like this game, suck me deeper." The Queen smiled as she left the room. The pageboy had instructions not to let the King come until the Queen returned, and the Queen doubted if he really wanted a mouthful, so that should be a pretty safe bet.

The Queen went and found the woodsman. He was a very strong man, with muscles developed from years of cutting wood.

"Have you ever fucked a Queen up the ass?" The Queen asked, and the woodsman looked around alarmed.

"I beg your pardon?" He stuttered.

"Have you ever fucked a Queen up the ass?" She asked again.

"I didn't mean to... I mean we were only young and experimenting..."

"Don't panic." The Queen said. "I meant a female Queen, you know, one with a crown like this?" She pointed at her head.

"Oh, uh, no?" The woodsman said in the most masculine voice he could muster.

"Do you want to?" The Queen asked, pushing her tits toward the man.

"Uh, yes?" The woodsman was worried, there must be a catch he thought.

"Good, well if you do a little job for me you can fuck my ass for as long as you can last." The Queen said. The woodsman frowned.

"A little job?" He was worried.

"Take Snot Brite out into the forest and kill her. Then cut off her tits and bring them back to me to claim your reward." The woodsman considered. The Queen wanted him to kill the Princess; he didn't know where his loyalties lay. The Queen suddenly knelt in front of him, and untucked his cock from his clothing. She sucked it down her throat until her lips met his balls, and his loyalties aligned.

"Yes, Your Majesty, yes, Your Majesty, oh, YES YOUR MAJESTY." It only took the Queen a couple of minutes to make him come, and she swallowed his sperm hungrily.

"Up the ass, remember, but I must have her tits." The Queen left the woodsman clutching the wall for support, and returned to the King.

The pageboy was still going, as was the King, when the Queen returned. The Queen shooed the pageboy away and took over the job herself. The stunned pageboy left with a very strange look on his face. The Queen upped the pace and the King groaned with pleasure.

"Oh suck me," he said, "oh, please let me come." The Queen's lips ran up and down the King's cock faster and faster, until finally he too gushed into her mouth. The Queen thought absently that what they said about Kings was true. The King did taste richer, and she swallowed yet another spurt. As the King's orgasm and his moans subsided the Queen stood and unfastened his blindfold. The King blinked in the brightness.

"That was wonderful." He said smiling. 

"Yes, I sucked you 'till King Dom cum." The Queen said smiling.

"I really liked that bit where you played with my asshole." The King said, looking a little nervous. "Oh, we had a gay old time didn't we?"

"More than you could possibly imagine." The Queen said, too quietly for him to hear. She would need to have a talk with that pageboy.

"Hello Snot Brite." The woodsman said with artificial cheerfulness.

"Hello... er..." Snot Brite didn't recognise the man.

"I don't have a name," the man explained, "I'm just called the woodsman in this story."

"Really?" Snot Brite looked excited. "Am I in it?" The woodsman just shook his head. He had met sharper bowling balls. And bowling hadn't been invented yet.

"Yes." He said. "You are the star." Snot Brite jumped up and down happily, clapping her hands.

"Oh, goody, what do I do next?" She asked eagerly.

"You come with me for a walk in the forest." The woodsman explained. "We are, er, looking for a lost tribe."

"That sounds like fun." Snot Brite said. "Should I bring my wrap?"

"No." The woodsman replied. "I don't think you will be needing any more clothing."

"When do we go?" Snot Brite asked.

"No time like the present." The woodsman said.

"Ooooh, do I get presents?" The woodsman rolled his eyes.

"Definitely." He said, and they left.

The Queen arrived back in her chambers, and called for Elsie. The girl came in with a dreamy look on her face.

"Your Majesty?" She said, and curtseyed.

"I think my problem is fixed." The Queen said happily.

"I am pleased Your Highness." Elsie said. The Queen looked at her critically.

"Have you lost weight?" She asked.

"Yes, Your Highness, I am doing my best to look better for you." The Queen wondered why the girl would bother, it was only her tongue that she was really interested in and it was fine as it was.


Snot Brite and the Seven Pervs Ch. 01



"I think I promised you a night with my personal guards." The Queen said.

"Oh, Your Majesty, it really isn't that important..." Elsie said nervously, the magic dildo was one thing, but four men with monster cocks was another.

"Nonsense girl, it will do you good." The Queen turned to the door and shouted. "GUARDS." Moments later four burly men came rushing in, brandishing swords and looking for a threat. They immediately went to the Queen.

"Your Majesty?" One asked.

"I want you all to take this girl," the Queen said, gesturing vaguely toward Elsie, who was cowering in a corner, "and fuck her all night." The men smiled, this was the sort of mission they could really get into, in a manner of speaking.

"I really don't want..." Elsie said timidly, but the Queen was not going to take no for an answer.

"If she argues," the Queen said impatiently, "one of you can have her ass." She looked at Elsie who bowed her head. The Queen nodded and the four men picked Elsie up and carried her away as if she weighed nothing. All four were already showing visible excitement as their tights bulged more than normal.



Snot Brite and the Seven Pervs Ch. 02



Author's note. Firstly, please read chapter 1. I have not put in any reminders of what happened last time; there just wasn't the room. Although this story is in the humour and satire category I have also tried to keep it sexy, and have attempted to at least touch on most genres over the full series. That means if you don't like gay, lesbian, anal, transgender or any of the other categories within Literotica then there may be bits you want to skip over. Please give it a go and let me know what you think, I enjoy getting comments, even those with creative criticism. There are six chapters and they should be put up at the rate of at least one every week. Do not expect reality, it is a fairy tale.

The story is set way before condoms, so if you want a safe sex message then I suggest that if you are going to have sex while skydiving then you make sure you uncouple before someone pulls their 'chute.

Please enjoy -- BB1212

*

Snot Brite was not the smartest girl in the Kingdom. Truth be know she was quite possibly the dumbest. But she was very eager to please and very attractive, and that was quite a good combination. The woodsman took her to a path through the forest and led the way for a while.

"How far to the lost tribe?" Snot Brite asked eagerly.

"I don't know." The woodsman said. "They're lost."

"Oh." Snot Brite looked puzzled.

"Why don't you walk in front?" The woodsman suggested. "Then you can find them first." Snot Brite clapped her hands.

"Oh, goody." She said happily and skipped past the woodsman. She walked ahead eagerly for a while before the woodsman spoke again.

"I think your beautiful dress might be ruined in the forest." He said casually, eyeing Snot Brite's shapely body.

"Oh, really?" Snot Brite sounded concerned. "What should I do?"

"Maybe you could take it off?" The woodsman said slyly. Snot Brite thought for a moment and turned her back to him.

"Can you unlace me?" She asked. The woodsman put down his axe and clumsily unlaced the dress. If he had to cut her tits off then it would be better if she were wearing less, and in the mean time he could get a good look at the half dressed Princess. Snot Brite wriggled out of the dress and turned around. "Is that better?" She asked happily, her tits almost spilling out of her underdress as she turned.

"Hmm." The woodsman wondered if he should push his luck, it wasn't like she was going to be around to tell was it? "That's a bit flimsy too," he said, "maybe take it all off?" Snot Brite frowned.

"I don't think I'm supposed to do that." She said warily.

"Oh, really, why not?" The woodsman asked. Snot Brite considered.

"Daddy said I might be attacked if I took my clothes off in front of people." She said triumphantly, happy that she had remembered.

"Ah, yes." The woodsman said. "But who would dare to attack you while I am here with my axe?" Snot Brite thought again.

"No one?" She asked doubtfully, guessing the answer. The woodsman smiled.

"That's right." He said. "So it's OK."

"Really?"

"Yes." 

"Oh, OK then." Snot Brite said and she removed her underdress and the remainder of her clothes. Finally she stood naked in front of the woodsman. His own wood was that hard, that he thought he would just blunt his axe if he tried to cut it off. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and those tits were more than good, they were spectacular.

"Maybe I should take my clothes off too." The woodsman suggested. "That way you wouldn't feel like the odd one out." Snot Brite smiled happily.

"That's a very good idea." She said, and he undressed quickly. When he was standing in front of her she looked at him in horror.

"What have you got sticking out of your pussy?" She asked, "And what happened to your boobies?" He smiled, with sudden anticipation. He could fuck her first and then kill her, who would know?

"I am a man and you are a woman," he explained, "we are supposed to be different. Haven't you ever seen a man naked before?" Snot Brite thought again.

"Uh, no?" She said carefully.

"Would you like to touch me?" The woodsman asked.

"Why would I want to do that?" Snot Brite asked cautiously. The woodsman walked up to her.

"Because it feels good when men and women touch each other." He said.

"Really?" Snot Brite was confused. She had never done anything like this before.

"Yes." The woodsman said and he bent down and took one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked gently.

"Oooh." Snot Brite moaned, it really did feel good. The woodsman took her hand and put it on his cock. She squeezed and giggled. "It's warm and squishy." She said, and then she pulled away suddenly. "This isn't fucking is it?" She asked, sounding very concerned. "Daddy said I shouldn't start fucking until I am married to a Prince." 

"Oh no," The woodsman said, thinking quickly, "fucking is where people put their tongues in each other's noses." Snot Brite made a face. 

"Oooh yukky. I always wondered what fucking was," she said, "but my nanny wouldn't tell me."

The woodsman lay down on the ground.

"Lie on me with your head near it." He said, and Snot Brite did. He pulled her pussy to his tongue and licked her slit.

"Oh, my." Snot Brite was suddenly feeling sensations she had never felt before as the woodsman started licking her thoroughly.

"Suck my cock." He said indistinctly. Snot Brite was dumb, but she did manage to work out what his cock was. She took it into her mouth and sucked firmly, making the woodsman moan. This was fun, she decided, the thing in her mouth was warm and alive, and if this made him feel as good as he was making her feel, then it must be good. "Move your head up and down on it." The woodsman said, and Snot Brite complied, sucking and slurping her way up and down his cock as his tongue found her most sensitive spot and went to work. They both moaned in pleasure, but minutes later the woodsman felt his orgasm approaching. "Drink my cum." He moaned and Snot Brite was confused until the cock suddenly squirted into her mouth. She swallowed the salty liquid and then the cock started to get smaller, so she sucked harder. Snot Brite could feel something building up in her pussy, it had started as a tingle, and then got bigger and bigger until her whole pussy was throbbing with pleasure. She could feel that the woodsman had pushed his finger inside her pussy and it felt good. The sensations got stronger and stronger, until she had a sudden eruption of pleasure and her pussy clenched around the woodsman's finger repeatedly. Snot Brite was left gasping for breath and smiling wide.

"That was amazing, what was it?" She asked, taking her mouth off the now hard again cock.

"That was an orgasm. Haven't you ever had one before?" The Woodsman asked.

"No... um... can I have another one?" The woodsman smiled.

"Of course." He said. "You are the Princess and your command is my wish."

"Oh, goody." Snot Brite said happily.

"We'll do it differently this time." The woodsman said. "First you should stand up." Snot Brite climbed off him and stood there uncertainly. The woodsman stood up too and clutched her to him for a moment. He went to kiss her but she turned her head away.

"Don't you put your tongue near my nose." She said. "I'm not allowed to do fucking."

"It's only fucking when both people do it," the woodsman said, "and I want to put my tongue in your mouth, that is called kissing."

"I've kissed my Daddy goodnight before." Snot Brite said with a grin.

"Yes, but to get orgasms you have to open your mouth and put your tongue in my mouth." Snot Brite looked at him suspiciously.

"Are you sure this isn't fucking?" She asked.

"I promise it's not." The woodsman said. "Woodsman's honour." She smiled.

"OK." And they kissed. Snot Brite wasn't very smart, and she wasn't at all experienced, but she was a very quick learner, and despite having just cum in her mouth the woodsman's dick now strained for another release. She was totally hot. He pulled away, and she sighed at the loss. 

"Now you lie down on your back." The woodsman said. Snot Brite smiled and did what he said, this was fun. "Now spread your legs." He said and she moved her feet apart. "No, lift them and hold your knees up near your tits. Snot Brite giggled and went red.

"I call them boobies." She said quietly.

"I call them fantastic." The woodsman said. She smiled. He seemed to really like her and he hadn't called her dumb even once. She wondered why everyone called her dumb, she could talk just fine. The woodsman knelt down and positioned himself in front of her pussy.

"What are you going to do?" Snot Brite asked, a little nervously. That was a big thing he had pointed at her.

"I'm going to put my cock in your pussy." The woodsman said. "That's called screwing."

"Will I get dizzy if you screw me?" Snot Brite asked, giggling. She had made a joke and was very proud of it. He smiled.

"You never know your luck." He said. He started rubbing his cock up and down her wet lips, and Snot Brite decided this felt good. Then the woodsman lined up the head of his cock and pushed it slightly in. Snot Brite gasped.

"Ow." She said. "I think it's too big."

"Just relax." The woodsman said. "This hurts a little at first but it gives you an even better orgasm."

"Really?" Snot Brite felt her pussy stretching wide as the woodsman's cock slowly pushed into her.

"Really." He said as the head suddenly popped inside her. He stayed still for a moment, enjoying the sensation of the hot and very tight pussy. Snot Brite felt the pain being replaced slowly by a nice sensation. The woodsman slowly started pushing in and pulling out.

"Is that screwing?" Snot Brite asked, with a hesitant smile.

"It is." The woodsman said, and he slowly increased the depth as her lubrication allowed it.

"That's nice." Snot Brite said, as she got used to the feeling. After a while he hit something inside her. "Ow." She said again. "I think you reached the end." The woodsman smiled.

"This will hurt a bit." He said, and pulled almost all the way out.

"I don't want to hurt." Snot Brite said, now a bit scared, but the woodsman pushed quickly deep into her and his cock tore through her hymen. Snot Brite screamed with the sudden pain. He smiled at her as she lay before him, a tear tricking down her face.

"That's the only bad bit." He said kindly. "It won't happen ever again." She looked up at him fearfully.

"Really?" She asked.

"Yes really." He said. "Now you can have men fu..., um fully in you and screwing you whenever you want."

"I don't know if I want." She sniffed.

"You want." The woodsman pulled back and then started thrusting slowly into her again. Slowly the agony inside her subsided and the pleasure grew. About ten minutes later Snot Brite was smiling again.

"This really is good." She said in a surprised voice. The woodsman was watching her tits and didn't hear her. Snot Brite's tits were amazing; they were turning as he plunged his cock up into her, spinning in perfectly synchronised opposite direction circles. They were hypnotic, and the motion was making him lose track of reality.

"Boobies." The woodsman murmured, as they spun faster and faster and the slap of his balls on her ass became more and more frequent. "Must obey boobies." Snot Brite felt another orgasm building, and he was right, this felt better than the last one already. The cock slammed into her faster as the woodsman muttered something under his breath.

"OH YEAH, SCREW ME FASTER." Snot Brite commanded and the sweating man complied. He knew he wasn't going to last much longer at this pace, but her amazing and hypnotic tits somehow told him that it would be OK; she was about to cum too. And cum she did, howling out loud in ecstasy and then she feelt his cock squirt inside her, and that just made her feel even better. The woodsman pumped what felt like gallons of cum inside Snot Brite's newly opened pussy and then he collapsed onto her. Gasping they both came down slowly, his cock shrinking inside her and eventually it popped out. Finally the woodsman rolled off her and looked at the beautiful girl, with his cum dribbling out of her. Still in a daze her watched her tits and realised they were watching him. They wouldn't let him kill her and cut them off. It couldn't happen. Slowly he picked up his clothes and his axe, and then looked at Snot Brite.

"The Queen wants to kill you." He said. "You have to hide somewhere in the forest where she can't find you." Snot Brite looked at him with a frown.

"Really?" She asked.

"Really." He said and he walked back down the path carrying his clothes. Snot Brite stayed where she was until her breathing returned to normal. She picked up her clothes and considered her situation. Should she get dressed again? She decided no, and walked off in the opposite direction. At least like this her nipples could point the way she thought smiling, and they did, it was forwards.

Elsie was getting carried away. Literally. She could do nothing as the four guards trotted through the corridors of the castle. A guard was holding each of her legs, each with his other hand under her ass and one was holding each of her arms with his other hand under her back. They carried her at shoulder height, and sometimes one of them would casually squeeze a breast or run his hand up the inside of her leg under her dress, which had fallen away from her body, exposing almost all of her legs. Once again Elsie noticed how the servants in the corridors averted their gazes, as if they wanted to be able to say later that they hadn't seen anything unusual.

"You don't have to do this." Elsie said at one stage, and a hand slipped right between her legs, and a lone finger pushed at her asshole, making her gasp in fear.

"Any complaints and it's up the ass." One of the guards said with a strong hint of anticipation.

"Twice as tight and five degrees warmer." Another said. The guards bellowed with laughter as they carried her, but Elsie was relieved to feel the finger stop pushing at her. The dryness of the finger and of her ass, coupled with her tense clenching had prevented actual penetration, but she acknowledged to herself that it was really just because he hadn't tried all that hard. No matter what happens to me tonight, Elsie decided, I won't complain, these guards would rip her virgin ass apart. She was already worried about her pussy, which had only ever had the King's cock and the magic dildo up it. Elsie expected to be very sore in the morning.

As he walked the woodsman slowly recovered from the mind numbing effect of Snot Brite's amazing hypnotic boobies. He stopped and got dressed, suddenly worried that the Queen wanted tits, and he hadn't brought any. The woodsman looked around nervously, wondering how to escape the Queen's wrath.

"Hello." A voice interrupted his thoughts, the woodsman turned to see a pig on the path behind him. He looked past to see where the person talking was.

"Uh hello?" He said, not finding anyone.

"Down here," the voice said, "I'm the pig." The woodsman looked at the pig suspiciously.

"Pigs can't talk." He said.

"Only magic talking pigs." The pig said, well the voice was coming from the pig.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Can you say anything at all?" The woodsman asked, an idea forming.

"Yes." The pig said. "Take me with you, we could make a fortune."

"Say 'I'm Snot Brite, the Princess' for me." The woodsman said.

"Why?"

"Can't do it?"

"Of course I can." The pig sounded offended.

"Then prove it, I bet you can't."

"I'm Snot Brite, the Princess." The pig said. Then there was glint of light off the head of the axe as it swung.

The Queen's guards finally carried Elsie through a door and into a very large chamber. Most of it was well lit with flaming torches along the walls and chandeliers full of candles, but one corner was quite dark, and appeared to have a lot of empty benches in it, each one slightly higher than the one in front of it. In the middle of the room there was a low platform, with a wooden clamping system that Elsie recognised as stocks on it. Near the wall in front of it there was a tall desk and some chairs. In a corner there was another group of chairs. The Guards put Elsie down and she looked around nervously. At least the room didn't have a bed in it, they may actually be showing her some mercy here. One of the guards went through a door near the desk.

"What...?" Elsie started to ask, but a guard just put his finger on her lips.

"The Queen likes to be entertained, and her guests get the same level of service." He said. "Now shhh." Moments later a door Elsie hadn't noticed in the dark corner opened and people started filing in and going to the benches, very soon they were full and there was a low murmur of whispers from the corner. Elsie wanted to ask what was happening, but she had the very disturbing thought that she was going to find out shortly anyway. She mustn't complain she reminded herself. Once the benches were full, and the people had settled down a bit the door in front of her opened and the guard came back out and returned to his position next to Elsie. A few other people carrying musical instruments also came in and they sat down on the seats in the corner of the room. Shortly after that the door opened, and as it did a few of the people on the benches started clapping. The musicians started playing as a man walked in and took a deep breath.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," He announced. "Welcome to another edition of 'Pick a Cock, performed right here before our live studio audience." The audience clapped and cheered. "And now please welcome your host Mister Ivor Biggie." The applause reached a peak as the door opened again and a man came in, smiling and waving. He was dressed in very bright clothes and he had the whitest teeth that Elsie had ever seen. 

"Thank you Reggie." He said, as the first man joined the musicians in the corner. "Yes, I'm Ivor Biggie, and welcome to a very special edition of 'Pick a Cock'. Tonight we have a new first time contestant, please welcome the lovely... um..."

"Elsie." Elsie said quietly.

"Yes, it's Elsie." Ivor shouted, and the audience cheered enthusiastically. "Now Elsie," Ivor continued when the applause died down a bit, "how old are you?"

"I'm twenty nine Ivor." Elsie replied, trying to be polite.

"And what do you do?" Ivor asked. Elsie blushed.

"I'm a tongue maiden." She said quietly.

"You need to speak up a bit Elsie, so everyone can hear."

"I'm a tongue maiden." Elsie said again, this time louder, and the audience cheered enthusiastically again.

"What a perfect time for us to bring in the two lovely 'Pick a Cock' tongue maidens." Ivor said and there was renewed cheering. "Please welcome Beauty and Bitch." As the audience went wild the door opened again and two very pretty women walked in. One was dressed an a very short and very low cut tight white tunic that left very little to the imagination. She had long blonde hair and a very pretty smile, but the audience seemed to be concentrating mostly on the very large tits that seemed to walk in before her. The other woman wore a tight black leather bodice that strained against its laces at the front. She had long black hair and was also very pretty, but in a more severe sort of way. She carried a short whip, and Elsie gulped nervously. This was just too weird and she wondered if it might not have been better for her if the four guards had just taken her to a bed chamber and fucked her as instructed.

"Hello Beauty." Ivor said to the blonde and she smiled.

"Why hello Ivor," she said in a melodic voice, "you are looking handsome tonight." Ivor preened and smiled.

"Thankyou Beauty, you're looking pretty damn good yourself. What do think audience?" And there was more cheering and whistles. Beauty blew the audience a kiss, bending down low enough for them to get a good view of her substantial cleavage.




Snot Brite and the Seven Pervs Ch. 02



"And hello Bitch." Ivor said with a smile.

"Hello Ivor, you dirty bastard." Bitch said, and Ivor grinned.

"Happy as ever I see." He said, and turned to the audience. "What do you guys think of Bitch tonight?" The subsequent cheering was just as loud as it had been for Beauty, and Bitch swiped her whip towards them. When the cheering subsided Ivor looked around. "Are we ready to play 'Pick a Cock?" He asked, and the cheering started again. "Does everyone know the rules?" He asked and there was more cheering. Elsie shook her head, and Ivor looked at her in surprise. "You don't know the rules?" He asked incredulously.

"Uh, no." Elsie said.

"Well then, let me explain..." Ivor started, but then the door behind him opened and a boy of no more than eight ran in. He wore a leather jerkin and dark pants. He looked around and then stared at Ivor.

"Who are you little boy?" Ivor asked.

"Shit. Son of Bitch." The boy said, pointing to Bitch who was suddenly blushing.

"Your son?" Ivor asked.

"Yes." Bitch replied.

"His name is...?

"Shit." She replied. "It was a long birth, and they asked what I was going to call him just as he came out, his head was as big then as it is now." She said ruefully.

"Shit." Beauty said sympathetically.

"Exactly." Shit ran over to Ivor and started pulling at his clothes.

"He's inquisitive isn't he?" Ivor said, as the boy got more demanding.

"No Shit." Bitch shouted, and Shit stopped.

"What's that smell?" Beauty asked carefully.

"Not him," Bitch replied, "my Shit don't stink." Shit had got bored with Ivor and he ran back to Bitch.

"Mummy," he said, "I've got to go and take a me."

"Off you go darling," Bitch said, "but don't come back, we still have to do a sex scene here."

"When can I see one of them?" Shit asked, whining.

"When you're eighteen, you know the rules." Bitch said.

"Bloody Literotica," Shit said, "they spoil all my fun."

"Run along Shit." Bitch said, and Shit left. Ivor wordlessly went and wedged a chair in front of the door.

"Now where were we?" Ivor asked as he turned back from the door, smiling.

"Rules?" Elsie asked. This was just weird. She had no idea what was going on and she wondered if everyone at this gathering had been drinking off mead, they were just behaving so strangely.

"That's right," Ivor said enthusiastically, he said everything enthusiastically, "the rules. Rule number one?" He asked and the audience called out.

"The contestant must be totally naked." As they shouted the four guards stripped Elsie in a matter of moments, and she was surprised to be standing there suddenly with her clothes gone. The audience cheered loudly again.

"Rule number two?" Ivor asked.

"In the stocks." The audience shouted. Elsie was picked up and carried to the stocks. She was bent forward at the waist as her head and hands were placed in position and the stocks were closed, clamping her in position. She was now looking at Ivor and the tongue maidens, and could just see as far as the audience on one side and the musicians on the other. She had no view of what was going on behind her, but she could now feel hands putting her feet into position, and something clamping them too. She ended up with her feet forward, and her knees bent, sort of squatting, with her pussy presented perfectly to those people behind her. Elsie was worried, but tried not to show it, as this was now going to happen, regardless of what she did, and if she complained... 

"What happens now," Ivor said to Elsie, "is that the four cocks are introduced to you. Each guard disrobes and comes around to the front. You will hear a bit about him and at the same time you get five minutes 'fluff time' to suck his cock and get to know it. Pay close attention, as it will be very important later. Once this is finished the first guard gets to fuck you for ten minutes. After ten minutes you need to tell us who it was. If you are right you get a five-minute break before the next one. If you are wrong the guard continues for another ten minutes and then the next guard slips straight in for his ten minutes. The first round is finished when the guards have all had their first fuck, then there is another five minute break, do you understand?"

"Uh, yes?" Elsie was getting very worried.

"Right then," Ivor continued, "round two is the same as round one but the cocks have fifteen minutes each. Round three is twenty and so on." Elsie's knees were shaking. "If a guard makes you cum then he gives you either a thumbs up or thumbs down. If it's a thumbs up Beauty gets to ply her trade on you for five minutes." The audience cheered. "But if it's a thumbs down then Bitch gets her chance." The cheers continued. Ivor looked at Elsie and she nodded, there wasn't much else she could do. Ivor turned to the audience. "How does a guard lose?" He asked.

"He cums." The audience shouted.

"Where?" Ivor asked.

"Her face." The audience replied.

"That's right," Ivor said, "if a guard cums he is out of the competition, but he is not allowed to cum inside you, he has to run around and squirt your face." Elsie winced at the thought. "The winner is the last one to cum," Ivor said, "and what's his prize?" He called out.

"Come inside, fuck all night." The audience chanted. 

"Yes, he gets to fill that sweet little pussy of yours with his cum and then he gets to fuck you until the sun rises." There was another burst of wild cheering.

"Come inside, fuck all night, come inside, fuck all night." The audience chanted. Ivor let them go for a while and then continued.

"We have our band, 'The Pick a Cock rock jocks' to keep the speed right, and the cocks have to keep with the beat or they are out." The musicians played a catchy tune briefly. "But we have a special new rule, just for Elsie." Ivor said, and there was a hush. "If she complains at all," Ivor shouted, "one of these lucky cocks gets to fuck her ass." The audience howled with delight, and Elsie tried to look neutral. She had hoped they might forget. "Have I forgotten anything?" Ivor asked, and the audience shouted again.

"Audience member."

"Ah yes, I remember the member." Ivor said. "We have given each man in the audience a number, and the winner gets to add his member to the cocks, do we have a winner?" He asked. Beauty walked to Bitch, holding a bag and Bitch put her hand in and pulled out a small piece of embroidered cloth.

"Number twelve." Bitch called out and there was a shout of triumph from the audience, amidst groans from those who had missed out.

"That's me." A deep voice shouted.

"Well come over here." Ivor said and an elderly man with very black skin walked up. "Twelve, that's me." The man said, waving a cloth, and the tongue maidens checked it and nodded. Ivor looked at him doubtfully.

"Are you up to this?" He asked and the dark man smiled.

"I ain't ever got the chance to fuck no pretty white girl like this before," the man said happily, "you won't believe how up I am." He leered at Elsie. Ivor nodded.

"OK, let's meet the cocks." He shouted. "It's fluff time." The audience cheered, this was getting to the good bit.



Snot Brite and the Seven Pervs Ch. 03



Author's note. Firstly, please read chapters 1 and 2. I have not put in any reminders of what happened last time; there just wasn't the room. Although this story is in the humour and satire category I have also tried to keep it sexy, and have attempted to at least touch on most genres over the full series. That means if you don't like gay, lesbian, anal, transgender or any of the other categories within Literotica then there may be bits you want to skip over. Please give it a go and let me know what you think, I enjoy getting comments, even those with creative criticism. There are six chapters and they should be put up at the rate of at least one every week. Do not expect reality, it is a fairy tale.

The story is set way before condoms, so if you want a safe sex message then I suggest that if you are going to have sex with a safe you thoroughly clean out any metal shavings and file sharp edges before you start.

Please enjoy -- BB1212

*

Snot Brite's tits led her on a twisting journey, a long way away from the castle that had been her home. She whistled happily as she walked. That screwing thing was good, she decided, and she needed to do it a lot more. At every a fork in the trail Snot Brite would look at her tits and follow her nipples' instructions as to which way to go. She wondered if she should put some clothes back on. She didn't have the woodsman to protect her now, but the forest seemed to be so safe, and it was so nice walking around here naked. She could feel little dribbles of cum running down her leg occasionally, and her pussy felt a little bit sore too, but nice at the same time. Snot Brite smiled as she walked. In the forest, from behind the trees, four eyes watched her hungrily. Snot Brite had been walking for some time and it was starting to get dark. She shivered a bit and decided to put her clothes back on now, she was getting cold. She stopped and looked around, and saw something shiny on a rock and walked up to it. It was a coin and Snot Brite bent forward to look at it, then something sharp touched her side and she heard a weird voice.

"Don't move." Snot Brite looked around nervously and saw there was a unicorn holding its horn against her. She was suddenly worried. 

"You're not allowed to hurt me." She said defiantly. "I'm a Princess."

"We won't hurt you if you do as you're told." The unicorn said. "Keep your legs straight and bend right forward." Snot Brite nervously did. With a thump two hooves landed on the rock, next to her hands, and she whimpered. She could feel the body of another unicorn over hers.

"What do you want?" She asked fearfully.

"This." A voice behind her said, and then a large object pushed against her pussy.

"You want to screw me?" Snot Brite asked, as the object pushed harder and started to awkwardly push at her.

"Yes." The voice replied.

"Oh, is that all? You had me worried, let me help." Snot Brite said. She wriggled and adjusted until the angle was right and then the unicorn was in her. It went much deeper than the woodsman had, and Snot Brite gasped in surprise.

"Oh my goodness," she said, "your cock is so big." 

"And you are very deep for a human." The voice said, then the cock suddenly increased its motions to a frantic pace. Snot Brite felt herself stretching and moving with the pounding she was getting, and it started to build up her feelings again. The unicorn was pushing so far up her that the outline of its cock head could be seen pushing out above her belly button on each thrust. Snot Brite loved the feeling, but just as her orgasm was building the unicorn bellowed, slammed deep into her and squirted her full of unicorn cum.

"Is that it?" Snot Brite asked. "I wasn't finished." The unicorn cock pulled away and came out of her body with a pop. The hooves left, but were immediately replaced by new ones. Snot Brite hadn't seen that the one with its horn at her side had moved away, and it was now preparing to use a totally different horn.

"My turn." It said, and another massive cock stretched Snot Brite wide. She moaned in pleasure. Once again the pace was instantly frantic, but this time Snot Brite reached her orgasm first and she shouted her release. The unicorn would only have cum thirty seconds later, and once again Snot Brite was filled with gushing unicorn cum.

"That was good, thankyou." Snot Brite said happily, and the unicorns looked at each other in confusion. Normally human women were broken and sobbing by this part of their game. Then a third unicorn appeared.

"Ralph." It snapped, and the second unicorn looked suddenly sheepish. That is very difficult for a unicorn, because they don't have any wool. 

"Yes dear?" He said.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to play with humans, you never know where they have been."

"I'm sorry dear." The three unicorns left, leaving Snot Brite staring at them.

"They are dirty too, you're going to have to lick that thing clean yourself before you put it in me again..." The nagging voice faded and then Snot Brite couldn't hear it any more. She stood up and got dressed. If she had looked carefully she would have seen lots of ants on the ground running in circles and murmuring 'Boobies, must obey boobies' in ant language.

"Our first cock belongs to Rodney," Ivor said, and the audience cheered. One of the guards appeared in front of Elsie, his cock half hard. "Rodney is twenty three years old and stands at five foot eight." The guard shoved his cock into Elsie's mouth, and she wondered what to do with it. She decided to try and act like a pussy did when people fucked, and she tightened her lips around it and moved her head forward and backward as much as was possible in stocks. Her tongue touched the tip and she could feel the cock twitch in her mouth. He must like that she decided. "Rodney's cock is eight inches long and two and a half inches across." Ivor continued as Elsie was trying hard to concentrate on what he was saying, at the same time as the demanding cock grew in her mouth. "Well at least it will be soon the way she is going." The audience cheered. Ivor continued with information on Rodney's family, his likes and dislikes and so on, but Elsie just decided to remember the statistics she had heard earlier. Finally Ivor called time and Rodney's fully erect cock was taken from Elsie's mouth. She sighed in relief, but the next was only moments away.

"Next we have Nobby." Ivor said. "At twenty eight years old he is the oldest of our regular cocks." Again a cock entered Elsie's mouth and again she sucked it in. "He is five foot eleven and has been blessed with a cock that is ten inches long," huge cheers, "and two inches across." Elsie had noticed that it was a bit easier to get her mouth around this one, but he was pushing it in deep, and making her gag. Elsie didn't try too hard to make this feel good for Nobby; she just endured him fucking her face for the allocated five minutes, and then again breathed a sigh of relief when it was over. She didn't like the fluff time she decided.

"Time for the next cock, put your hands together for William." Ivor shouted, and once again a cock presented itself to Elsie's mouth. This one was very thick already. "William is six foot tall and twenty five years old." Ivor was keeping the interest up while Elsie had to keep the cocks up. "His cock is eight and a half inches long and a massive three inches across, just look at poor Elsie struggle to open wide enough.

"Teeth." William said, his voice strangely muffled.

"Mmph-ph." Elsie said, which would have been 'sorry' if her mouth had less cock in it. But she tried hard to keep her lips over her teeth and he wasn't pushing too deep into her, so they both got through it. In between Ivor's shouts Elsie could hear that William's breathing was heavy, like he had a blocked nose. Again she breathed deeply in the space between William and the next cock.

"Next we have Richard." Ivor shouted, and Elsie went cold as she saw her cousin standing in front of her with his cock out. She hadn't recognised him earlier with his helmet on. "Richard is the baby of the group at just nineteen, and he is five foot eleven." Richard looked at Elsie helplessly. She would have shrugged if she could, there was nothing either of them could do to stop this now, but in the position she was in all she could do was nod slightly and he slipped his cock into her mouth. "Richard's cock is eight inches long and two and a half across." Ivor was telling the audience. Elsie tried to keep minimal contact; she was sucking her own young cousin's cock after all. She did notice that his balls were slapping around her chin as he slowly pumped in and out. That could be useful to know Elsie decided. Those five minutes felt like five days, but finally it was time and Richard quickly pulled out and walked out of sight. Elsie just hoped he wouldn't be the one who got to cum inside her, and tried to work out a plan to ensure that wouldn't happen.

"And finally our audience member's member." Ivor shouted, to wild cheering. Elsie blinked in disbelief as the monster approached. "We have some new show records," Ivor continued as the monster eclipsed Elsie's view of most of the room, "this is Shafton, and he is our oldest contestant ever, at sixty three years old." More cheers and Elsie stretched her mouth open as wide as possible. "Like William, Shafton's cock is a big three inches across, but the length, my friends, is a full twelve inches, another new record." There were gasps of amazement. "Please don't tell the Queen," Ivor begged, "she would be very unhappy to know that she missed out on this one." There was a ripple of laughter. Elsie was gagging on every stroke as the monster cock drilled her face. It felt like it was going half way down her throat. As she gagged Elsie tasted a salty flavour, and she realised that Shafton wasn't too far from cumming. She might be able to make this easier on herself by smart thinking she decided. "That's time," Ivor called, and Shafton breathed the sigh of relief, he had almost cum in her mouth and missed his chance to fuck her tight white pussy. 

"Now," Ivor shouted, "let the fucking begin." Elsie jumped as the band started playing and without any warning a cock was suddenly pushed into her pussy.

"I said bring me her tits." The Queen said angrily, and the woodsman cringed. It was near to ten o'clock by the time he had got back to the castle and presented himself to the Queen.

"I'm sorry Your Majesty, I just couldn't seem to be able to cut her tits off." He said. "But I decided that the pig who was Snot Brite should have her heart cut out and brought to you, so I did that instead." The woodsman held out a bloody heart. The Queen looked at him suspiciously.

"That is really Snot Brite's heart?" She asked.

"Definitely Your Majesty." The woodsman said. "She said she was Snot Brite to me and those were her last words." The Queen considered. He looked like he was telling the truth, so she smiled. Her rival was dead and she could celebrate.

"Then you deserve your reward." The Queen said. She walked to her bed and bent over the side, flicking her dress up to expose her ass as she did. "First you lick my ass until it's good and wet, then you can fuck it." The woodsman smiled in anticipation and walked over to her, he breathed in the scent of the Queen's pussy and then licked her little puckered asshole. She moaned, He licked again, this time harder and she shook with pleasure. The woodsman decided to build this up slowly, and he pulled her cheeks wide apart and licked from her pussy to her ass in one stroke, winning another moan from the Queen. "That feels so good." The Queen said, and he did it again. And then once more. The Queen squirmed with pleasure as the woodsman's rough tongue licked her firmly, and then, at the end of each stroke he started to push his tongue at her asshole, gently coaxing it open and soon he was slipping his tongue inside her each time. "Keep doing that." The Queen moaned, and he did, but when he moved his hands inwards she stopped him. "No." She commanded. "Just your tongue." So he kept licking and probing her deeply. The Queen smelled richly of scented oils, and the woodsman smiled, knowing that this was a once in a lifetime experience and it was very pleasurable. The Queen moaned in blissful delight. She had done just about anything possible sexually, but now she was about to experience something new. There had been plenty of men who had fucked her ass, that wasn't particularly special, but never had she orgasmed just from the touch of a tongue on her ass, and this was going to happen shortly. She was going to have to get the woodsman to teach her tongue maiden this. The woodsman saw the Queen shaking with approaching release, and he shoved his tongue deep up her ass as she came. Her asshole squeezed him, trying to push him out, but he kept the pressure up and let her cum around his tongue. When she had finished he withdrew.

"Now Your Majesty?" The woodsman said to the Queen's ass.

"Now." She said. "Fuck my ass now." The woodsman undressed, releasing his hard cock. He spat in his hand, and rubbed it around the head of his cock, making it good and slippery, and then he lined up his target and pushed gently. In what would have seemed like slow motion, if they had known what slow motion was, the woodsman watched the Queen's asshole stretch wider as his cock head pushed into her. The Queen moaned in a combination of pleasure and pain. It was always like this to start with, the man's cock would hurt as it went in, and then for a few minutes after, but at least this man was taking his time, and letting her body adjust to him. Then, with a sudden loose pop the woodsman's cock head entered through the Queen's rear ring and he was inside her ass. She was about to tell him to stop so she could adjust, but he already had. He waited for a few minutes, and then slowly pushed in a bit further, before pulling out a bit again. The woodsman started slowly and with short strokes, making sure he stayed lubricated. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt the Queen, she could have him killed at a whim, and he was the only person who knew she had commanded the death of Snot Brite, so that whim might not be too far away anyhow. The woodsman wondered what had killed the Princess; the forest was very dangerous at night, so something would have got her by now. He put the Princess' fate out of his mind, that was over and he was now ass fucking the Queen, he'd better make sure he remembered this clearly. The woodsman built up the speed and the length of his strokes, the Queen was moaning in delight as she managed to cum again.

"Faster." She urged the sweating woodsman. "Faster and deeper." He was pulling his cock totally out of her and then slamming it balls deep up her ass now, grunting with exertion, and he could feel his orgasm building. Considering he had already cum three times that day he was quite surprised when he shot a huge load up the Queen's ass, burying himself inside her as deep as possible. The Queen and woodsman both groaned in pleasure as his cock shrunk inside her and finally popped out.

"Go now." The Queen said, and the woodsman dressed quickly and left.

"Thankyou, Your Majesty." He said as went. She just moaned again. Ten minutes later the Queen crawled onto the bed and went to sleep. It had been a big day.

Elsie had done well so far. The first man to fuck her had been her cousin, and after the shock of his sudden entry she had felt his balls slapping her down low, and had known it was him. For ten minutes he had fucked her to the lively beat of the music, and when the time was up Ivor had told him to stop, and he had, keeping his cock inside her pussy.

"So, Elsie." Ivor had said, "it's time to Pick a Cock. Wait for all the choices, and then tell me whose cock is still in you. Is that Rod in your pussy, is that Nob in your pussy, is that Willy in your pussy, is that Dick in your pussy, or is that Shaft in your pussy?"

"Pick a Cock." The audience shouted, and Elsie tried to smile.

"Well Ivor, I think that it's Dick in my pussy."

"She's right." Ivor said, and Richard's cock slipped out of Elsie, to the relief of both of them. "We now have a five minute break." After the break the next to fuck her had been Rod. Elsie had worked out that the angle of penetration that Rod could achieve, if she lifted her pussy a bit, was quite different because he was a few inches shorter than the other guards. She could feel his balls hitting her too, so she knew it couldn't be the massive length of the only other short person, Shaft, so that made her guess easy too. The third had been Willy, and Elsie had almost got him wrong. She had expected his greater thickness to be very noticeable, but strangely it wasn't, and it wasn't until she listened to his breathing that she heard the blocked nose and named him correctly at the end of the ten minutes. With only two to go in the first round she knew she was safe, because Shaft was so much shorter, and when the next massive cock stretched her Elsie knew it was Shaft fucking her, once again she worked this out from the angle of penetration. Twice so far Shaft had been warned to stay with the beat and Elsie knew he was very close to cumming when Ivor called time.

"Once again Elsie, can you..."

"Pick a Cock." The audience shouted.

"Is your pussy full of Shaft or do you have Nob up there? Ivor asked. Elsie had already been fucked for forty minutes, and she was getting quite sore. But she knew that Shaft wouldn't last another ten minutes right now.

"I think its Nob." She said, and the audience cheered.

"No it's not." Ivor called out. "It's Shaft, and Shaft gets a bonus ten minutes." Elsie smiled as she heard a groan from behind her, and the cock in her pussy started stroking in and out again. She concentrated on clenching tight around the cock, giving it as much friction as possible, and sure enough it was only a minute or two later that Shaft pulled out of her and ran around the stock, clutching his twitching hard on. Before Elsie realised it he had squirted her in the face, and got her in the eye. It stung badly. The audience was cheering wildly as Shaft squirted her a couple more times.

"Thankyou Shaft." Ivor said happily. "You did really well but now it's time for you to go." Shaft smiled broadly.

"The pleasure was all mine." He said. "But I really needed a break just now to stay in it." 

"What do you think Elsie?" Ivor said.

"That's got to be the biggest cock I've ever had in me," she replied, "and it felt good, but that cum in my eye really stings." There was a moment of silence, and then Elsie was pushed down and she felt a cock head against her asshole.

"I'm really going to enjoy this." A voice behind her said.

"Was that a complaint?" Ivor asked, and the audience cheered again, knowing the penalty.

"No it wasn't." Elsie said quickly. "It was an observation." The cock at her ass paused.

"How do you work that out?" Ivor asked.

"Can I give an example without being punished?" Elsie asked.

"Yes."

"If I had said 'why did you have to cum in my eye, that stings' it would have been a complaint." Elsie said. "Because I would have been blaming Shaft. But just saying that the cum in my stings is just answering your question which was what do I think." Ivor pondered.

"She's right you know." He said, and the audience groaned in disappointment. "But I think it's pretty close. Nob you get her pussy right now, and Bitch, you give her five minutes of your special treatment." The audience cheered again and Nob's cock slammed into Elsie brutally, making her gasp. Bitch walked around behind Elsie, and then the whip hit her back, making her jump. For five minutes Bitch whipped her, slapped her and even bit Elsie on the nipples as Nob fucked her hard. Elsie moaned in pain, but kept her mouth shut, not wanting the ass fucking that would come with a complaint. Bitch knew her job well, and at the end of the five minutes Elsie's back and ass were covered in angry welts. The last couple of strokes with the whip were up onto her tits, and they almost broke Elsie's resolve, but not quite. Finally Bitch went back to her position next to Ivor and Nob continued to fuck Elsie at a great pace. She felt him hesitate a couple of times toward the end but the timer won and his ten minutes was over before he came. Ivor announced the end of the first round and everyone rested for five minutes. Elsie was quivering in the stocks; she was not enjoying this at all.




Snot Brite and the Seven Pervs Ch. 03



Snot Brite saw a bright light ahead, and slowly walked toward it. There was a clearing in the forest and a very strange shaped creature was looking at her. It was very skinny, and had an extremely long neck with a flat and wide head on it. Its limbs were very long and skinny too.

"I'm Snot Brite." Snot Brite said. "Who are you?" The creature tuned to her.

"ET." It said.

"Oh you poor boy," Snot Brite said, "your family couldn't even afford a whole name, they just got you initials." ET cocked his head to the side. This human seemed less smart that the ones he had met so far, and they had been pretty stupid. But she seemed to have nice tits. He smiled.

"No clothes." He said.

"Oh dear." Snot Brite said. "I don't have any clothes that would fit you."

"You no clothes." ET said. "Take off." Snot Brite got a glimmer of understanding.

"You want me to take my clothes off?" She asked. ET nodded eagerly. "Just no licking of my nose OK? I'm not allowed to do that."

"No clothes." ET said again, and Snot Brite stripped.

"Is that better?" She asked, and ET smiled.

"Nice tits." He said, and Snot Brite smiled again. ET then held a finger up and the end of it glowed. Snot Brite looked at it nervously.

"What are you going to do with that?" She asked.

"ET phone home."

"What's a phone?"

"No signal." ET said, frowning. "Need antenna."

"An ant called Anna?" Snot Brite was confused. ET walked up to her. 

"Need more signal." He said, and stuck the glowing finger into her pussy. It tingled and Snot Brite could see the glow of his finger through her skin, it looked weird so she looked away.

"Do you want to screw?" Snot Brite asked happily, and then she saw the long, thin penis between his legs growing. "You do want a screw." She said happily. "Lie down." She pushed gently and ET lay on the ground. Snot Brite squatted over him and then lowered herself onto his cock. ET moaned as she slipped over him.

"Is good." He said.

"Very good." Snot Brite replied dreamily, and then she started screwing ET earnestly. Snot Brite felt ET's cock wriggling inside her, and the deeper she took it the more it grew, and the more sensitive places it found. The woodsman's cock had been very nice, and it had opened the way for the others as well as bringing Snot Brite to her first ever cock created orgasm, the two unicorn cocks hade been huge, but they had just slammed at her until they cum, not at all interested in her satisfaction, and now ET's cock was exploring her insides, going boldly where no cock had gone before. Snot Brite decided they were all good in their own way, and she would just continue riding the weird wriggly cock and see what would cum of it, or out of it. ET looked at her tits. They were rotating in opposite directions, but were synchronised. The effect was strangely hypnotic. ET smiled at the amazing hypnotic boobies and waited, he didn't have to wait for long either. Snot Brite wasn't ready yet, she had started to feel a tingle and knew if she screwed ET for a while longer she would cum, but he wasn't going to last, then ET's fingers started glowing and a light shone through Snot Brite's body. She was suddenly warm and glowing and feeling very dreamy as ET's energy flowed into her. It wasn't a physical orgasm, she couldn't feel him squirting like the others, it was a mental orgasm, and her whole body came alive with a feeling of ecstasy. The penis withdrew slowly, pausing to explore some more on the way out and the Snot Brite rolled off him, exhausted.

"ET phone home." ET said happily, standing up. "Get friends to come here give you pleasure. Must obey boobies."

"That would be nice." Snot Brite murmured. ET ran off quickly, jumping up and clicking his heels as he went.

"He was nice," Snot Brite said, "but I don't think he's from around here." Then she got up and picked up her clothes. She wondered if she should put them on but decided against it. She just seemed to be taking them off all the time anyway. Her nipples pointed and she followed.

"Thanks to the musicians," Ivor said, "that was 'penises in motion', and now the fucking will resume to the old favourite song 'twat around the cock', hit it boys." Elsie's aching pussy was filled again with cock, and the twisted show continued. This time Nob was first, and Elsie wondered if she could try the same trick twice. He had already fucked her for ten minutes, then there was the five-minute break and now he had fifteen minutes. She was sure that he would usually last a lot longer, but he had been really tearing into her last time and had put himself close to the edge. Elsie was pleased with herself, she had picked that it was Nob. It wasn't easy because he had started trying to hide his identity by only pushing in about eight inches, so she didn't notice his extra length. But she had noticed that his balls weren't hitting her, and that had given it away. Elsie could feel him trying to pace himself toward the end of the fifteen minutes and decided to get it wrong again.

"And now its time to..." Ivor cried out.

"Pick a cock." The audience obligingly shouted.

"What is it Elsie," Ivor asked, "have you been rammed by Rod, driven by Dick, nailed by Nob or whammed by Willie?

"This one is a hard one Ivor..." Elsie said, and got her first laugh. It felt good.

"That's the whole idea dear." Ivor said. And then he waited.

"I think its Willy." Elsie said, and the cheering started again.

"No its not," Ivor said, "so here we go again." The pumping started again and Nob was looking down the barrel of another fifteen minutes. Once again Elsie did everything she could to make him cum. She used her muscles to grip him, she subtly adjusted her height for greater stimulation and she even whimpered a bit to make him think that he was hurting her. She wondered if he was, but she was getting quite numb down there now and didn't notice any pain. Nob almost made it, but with about four minutes to go he cried out in frustration and ran around to her head. This time Elsie shut her eyes, and felt his warm cum splatter across her face. The audience cheered as Ivor commanded the next cock to start, and Elsie grunted as it did. She heard the snuffling Willie behind her and picked him correctly, earning a five-minute break after forty odd minutes of fucking. The next one was Rod, she could tell from the lack of low balls, and she also picked him correctly, so the last one would have to have been Richard. About five minutes into being fucked again by her young cousin Elsie could feel he was trying to cum. She thought about it and realised that the sooner he did, the sooner it would be over, so she once again used every trick she could think of to assist. With the pain of the fucking, the cramps from being in the stocks, and just plain utter exhaustion Elsie knew that she would not cum herself, but if she did she was sure Richard would pick Beauty, and that might help him to cum. She slowly started to moan and groan, and built up to a major, but fake, orgasm. She shook and moaned and the audience cheered.

"Elsie has had an orgasm." Ivor said. "What's it going to be cock, thumbs up for Beauty or thumbs down for Bitch? The audience groaned when Richard put his thumb up, they wanted to see more whipping, but it was Beauty who walked over and ducked under Elsie. She gently took one of Elsie's nipples into her mouth and sucked. Then she licked too, and this time Elsie really did moan in pleasure. When Beauty went lower and licked Elsie's clit Richards balls were banging against her chin. She licked them too and that was finally enough and Richard ran around to spray more cum on Elsie's crusted face. 

"Smart move." Beauty whispered as she left, amidst the cheers and applause.

"What an amazing night," Ivor said, "two rounds gone and three cocks out, I think that's another show record."

"Uh, Ivor?" Elsie asked nervously.

"Yes?" He looked at her, wondering if she was going to complain.

"Am I allowed to use the privy in the break?" He nodded, and Elsie felt the stock being removed. Bitch came over and walked with her.

"No wiping your face or anything like that," Bitch whispered, "you have to look like you haven't been out of the stocks. Elsie moaned in pain as the blood returned to her limbs, they had been inactive for too long. She just nodded and went and did her business.

It was towards midnight when Snot Brite came to a small cottage, hidden away behind some trees. She walked up to the cottage confidently, if her tits had brought her here it must be all right. 

"Hello?" She called, knocking on the door. But there was nobody home. She pushed the door open and went inside, still carrying her clothes. There was a long table in the room with benches down either side of it, and seven dirty bowls and spoons set on it. The sink was full of dirty dishes too and the place needed a sweep up. The room was small, dark and low. Snot Brite climbed up a narrow staircase to the room above, and in it there were seven little beds. She decided that children must live in the house and wondered where they were. But Snot Brite wasn't one for thinking too much. She was tired, and her pussy throbbed from the screwing it had received, but it was a good throb. She pushed three of the beds together and lay down across them to rest for a moment. She would get up and get dressed in a minute; it wouldn't do for the children to meet a Princess with no clothes on. But her eyes closed, and she slept.



Snot Brite and the Seven Pervs Ch. 04



Author's note. Firstly, please read chapters 1, 2 and 3. I have not put in any reminders of what happened last time; there just wasn't the room. Although this story is in the humour and satire category I have also tried to keep it sexy, and have attempted to at least touch on most genres over the full series. That means if you don't like gay, lesbian, anal, transgender or any of the other categories within Literotica then there may be bits you want to skip over. Please give it a go and let me know what you think, I enjoy getting comments, even those with creative criticism. There are six chapters and they should be put up at the rate of at least one every week. Do not expect reality, it is a fairy tale.

The story is set way before condoms, so if you want a safe sex message then I suggest you don't have underwater sex in shark-infested waters during that time of the month.

Please enjoy -- BB1212

*

Elsie's pussy was totally numb, and she was just too tired to care much about anything any more. She had been fucked by five men over two and a half hours, she had the cum from three of them spattered across her face and her legs ached from the position she was in when she was held in the stocks. The five-minute break between men was a relief when it happened, but she was fully aware that it was a break for the men too, and it gave them a chance to avoid cumming. Elsie could tell that the first cock in the next round was Rod, she could hear clear breathing behind her in between the determined grunting as the cock pumped in and out. She made a decision now that she really didn't care which guard got her for the rest of the night; she just wanted this bit to be over. To just lie down on a bed and spread her legs would be a great relief. So Elsie decided she was now going to get the men wrong every time and double their time, she hoped that would make them cum sooner. In round three her plan didn't work. She named Rod as Willy, and he then fucked her for an extra twenty minutes without cumming, then Willy took over and he too fucked her non-stop for forty minutes. Ivor cancelled the break, because she had got it wrong, and Rod started again. Once again Elsie named him as Willy and Ivor looked at her suspiciously, but this time, finally, fifteen minutes into his second twenty-five minute session Rod ran around and added his cum to Elsie's face. The audience cheered.

"Now all we need to do is find out if Willy can last more than forty minutes." Ivor said, amidst the cheers, "If so he is our winner for the night." And Elsie, who had thought it was finally all over, felt Willy push his cock back into her. The wait was agony for Elsie, as Ivor counted off the time in five-minute intervals. When he reached thirty minutes the audience started cheering and clapping with the music, at thirty five they started a countdown, calling out each minute as it passed, and then, at thirty nine, Beauty and Bitch walked up to Elsie and started licking the cum off her face. But it didn't set Willy off, he kept going and finally, at forty-five minutes, he howled out loud, shoved his cock inside Elsie as deep as it could go, and taking his winner's entitlement he unleashed his torrents inside her. The audience cheered heartily for the champion as Beauty and Bitch released Elsie, and virtually carried her over in front of them for a bow. They cheered her loudly too, and then Willy came and took his prize. He picked her up and carried her over his shoulders out of the room and into an adjacent bedchamber, where he gently laid her down. They were still close enough to hear the cheers faintly as Ivor wrapped up and allowed all the other cocks to take a bow. Willy looked at Elsie with concern.

"You look totally fucked." He said, and then grimaced. "Oops, sorry, I mean tired." Elsie summoned a vague smile.

"You're right both times." She said wearily. "But you have earned your prize."

"I think a warm relaxing bath first," Willy said, "and then a rest." Elsie smiled, that sounded nice. "I will have to fuck you and cum in you before sunrise in case the Queen checks," he said apologetically, "but for now I think you have earned a rest."

"Thanks Willy," Elsie smiled at him, "you are kind." He carried her to the bath.

The seven pervs owned a magic dirty diamond mine. They didn't use picks to dig the diamonds out, they had to tell dirty stories, and each time they told a good one a diamond would drop out of a small funnel in the roof. The better the dirty story, the bigger the diamond. But things hadn't been going too well lately, and every time one of them tried to tell a dirty story the mine just sighed, said 'heard it', and the diamonds failed to appear. This was bad, because the buyer of the diamonds was a wizard, and he needed them to perform curses. The wizard had come by their cottage yesterday and told the seven pervs that he only had twelve diamonds left, and he had outstanding orders for eight curses. He pointedly hattedly told them that the last seven diamonds were for them if they failed to produce more diamonds, so there was a big problem. The pervs had been in their diamond mine all night, because night is the best time to tell dirty stories, and they had only managed to produce one small diamond for a story that the mine had heard before, but it appreciated the way it was told. The pervs looked at each other in frustration. They didn't want to end up on the wrong end of the wand. Finally they gave up, hoping that the one small diamond would keep the wizard from turning them into toads, or making their penises small again. The pervs had not been very well endowed when the wizard first met them, and he had certainly helped them out in that department. Their real problem was a lack of women to inspire their stories. Most of the local girls kept well away nowadays, and even the girls for hire wanted to see the diamonds first, and the pervs just didn't have any. Dejected they walked home, too tired and frustrated to even sing their happy song. When they got home they looked sadly at the piles of dishes in the sink, looked at each other and just shook their heads. There was no food left anyway so they just went upstairs to go to bed. The first perve to see Snot Brite motioned the next one to be silent, and the message was passed back down the line. They crept up to the three beds that had been pushed together and looked in awe at the beautiful naked woman in their beds. Then one of them sneezed, and the girl woke up. Snot Brite was woken to find the children had come home and were all around her in a circle. She squealed in embarrassment.

"Where are my clothes?" She said quickly. "I need to put my clothes on."

"I think you are just fine without them." One of the children said. Snot Brite was confused. The person speaking had a very deep voice for a child. She looked at him carefully. He also had a beard, and wrinkles.

"You look very old to be a child..." She said hesitantly.

"Who are you?" The child asked.

"I'm Snot Brite, the Princess." She said. "I'm sorry I came into your house..."

"Not yet you aren't." One of the other children said, and the others laughed in a menacing way. Snot Brite was concerned. Did they mean to hurt her she wondered?

"Uh, who are you?" She asked.

"We're the seven pervs," one of them said, "I'm Cunnie," he licked his eyebrows suggestively, "this is Quickie, Squirty, Shitty, Horsy, Noisy and this is Rock."

"The seven pervs?" Snot Brite was confused.

"Yeah, there used to be eight of us," Shitty added, "but we had to get rid of Herpie."

"Bit of a sore point that." Cunnie said.

"What?" The pervs had not taken too long to see that she may be beautiful, but she wasn't very smart. They moved in closer as Snot Brite tried to use her hands to cover her nakedness.

"Nice tits." One of the pervs said.

"Better than nice." Another added.

"Bags I the left funbag." One said and they suddenly started squabbling. Snot Brite watched them for a moment, and then shouted.

"Will you be quiet, I can't hear myself think." There was a moment's silence.

"Too much echo in there?" One said, and they all laughed.

"What do you want?" Snot Brite asked.

"Just you." A voice said, and Snot Brite looked shocked.

"You're children," she said, scandalised, "I can't do that, this is Literotica..."

"We're not children, we're pervs." One said.

"All well over eighteen." A voice chimed in.

"You know, dirty dwarves." Another added.

"But don't dwarves have little...um..." There was the sudden sound of zippers, which was interesting, because zippers hadn't been invented yet, and then seven very naked little men surrounded Snot Brite, all sporting very large cocks. And they were all very hard.

"I don't do fucking." Snot Brite said, and there was a collective sigh of disappointment. "There's no way any of you can stick his tongue in my nose."

"Huh?"

"But who wants to be the first to screw?" She asked brightly.

"First me." Cunnie said. "I don't want to lick up their cum." He dived between Snot Brite's legs and his tongue started lapping. "Interesting flavour," Cunnie said between licks, "but not bad." Snot Brite was going to tell him that it was woodsman cum, unicorn cum and ET cum, but a very large cock pushed into her mouth, and she just took as much down her throat as she could.

"You must be Horsy?" Snot Brite said when he pulled it out again. He nodded happily and pushed forward again. Two of the other pervs had climbed onto the bed next to her and were sucking on her nipples; another two had put their substantial cocks into Snot Brite's outstretched hands. Cunnie's tongue was very talented, and Snot Brite felt the familiar signs of an orgasm about to happen. She gasped and shuddered as it hit, and accidentally took Horsy's cock right down her throat to the balls. This was too much for him and he shot his cum straight down, gasping and moaning as he did. Snot Brite gagged, and almost vomited. Horsy, climbed off the bed and sat down for a rest.

"I choked a bit and have a bad taste in my mouth, can I have a drink?" Snot Brite asked. The seventh perve, the one who had not touched her yet, smiled.

"I can help." He said, and climbed into Horsy's position. He put his cock in her mouth, and pumped it four or five times and then shot his load on her tongue.

"Thanks," Snot Brite said, licking up the last drops, "you must be Quickie." He smiled apologetically and nodded. Then Cunnie's cock pushed deep into Snot Brite's pussy.

"Oh, yeah," he said happily, "this is tight." Snot Brite smiled.

"Really? I wouldn't know. I never screwed until yesterday."

"Oh wow," someone said, "almost a virgin too."

"Hurry up Cunnie, it's my turn next." 

"No it's not, it's mine."

"Settle down." Snot Brite said happily. "You can all have a turn eventually, I just love screwing."

"You can stay here for as long as you want." One said, and the others agreed. One of the pervs at Snot Brite's tits stopped sucking for a moment and watched the circular movement as Cunnie screwed her.

"Wow, look at the movement on that." He said, and the others crowded around to look. The one on the other tit let go too and soon all the pervs were mumbling.

"Boobies, must obey boobies." Another perve straddled Snot Brite's face and she eagerly sucked him down. Snot Brite was having fun. Cunnie eventually tensed and groaned as he shot his cum deep inside Snot Brite. He pulled out and another perve pushed in.

"OH YEAH," the perve in Snot Brite's mouth cried out, "THIS IS SO GOOD, DAMN YOUR MOUTH IS HOT."

"Noisy?" Snot Brite asked when his cock was momentarily pulled away.

"YOU GOT IT BABE, FUCK THAT FEELS GOOD." The perve in Snot Brite's pussy started pumping faster too, and Noisy suddenly tensed. "AHHH YEAH, I'M CUMMING." Snot Brite swallowed another mouthful of perve cum, and then, as Noisy moved away the cock was pulled from her pussy and with a groan the perve shot his cum straight up Snot Brite's left nostril. As she coughed in surprise his second shot went up her right nostril.

"Squirt...?" Snot Brite was asking, until another stream of cum hit the roof of her mouth.

"Yeah." He said, as he finished.

"Good shooting." Cunnie said. Snot Brite spent a bit of time clearing out her nose, while the pervs looked at her nervously. They didn't want her to stop playing now; they had lots more to do to her yet.

"Who's next?" Snot Brite finally asked, feeling sort of empty.

"I'll have a go at the pussy." Horsy said, and Snot Brite looked a bit doubtful.

"You lie down and I'll ride you." She said. Horsy lay on the bed and Snot Brite slid down his huge cock slowly, taking her time until it was fully buried inside her. They both moaned in pleasure. A hand pushed Snot Brite forward, and then she felt something wet on her asshole.

"Do you take it up the ass?" A voice said.

We pause here for a snap poll of our readers. From here I can see eight people reading this part of the story at the moment, hang on, one's catching up, wait a moment, OK he's with us, that's nine now. Now, could all of you who think Snot Brite should say no to doing the chocolate cha cha put your hand up now? It doesn't have to be the same one you are masturbating with, yes; I can see that from here too. Right, that's one. Now could those of you who want to see Snot Brite shitting poo donuts put your hand up now? Come on, all the way up. Thankyou. That's three. It's like voting isn't it, less than half of those eligible actually do it, and then the voters are just the puritans and perverts. I think we should go back to the story now, so Snot Brite, brace yourself.

"Up the ass?" Snot Brite said. "I've never been asked that question before. Is it good?"

"I like it a lot." Shitty said.

"OK, let's try." Snot Brite said. And she felt Shitty's cock head against her asshole.

"Relax," Shitty advised, "and just push out a bit, sort of like you are trying to shit."

"OK." Snot Brite said cheerfully. "Who wants my mouth next?" The pervs looked around nervously. You didn't want your cock in the mouth of an anal virgin being deflowered. Those teeth can do some real damage.

"Me, dude." A voice finally said. Snot Brite looked at the perve who said it. He was darker than the others and his hair was all in little plaits. He looked a bit like he was half asleep.

"Uh, which one are you?" Snot Brite asked, as Shitty rubbed her ass with something wet.

"I'm Rock." He said. 

"Yeah," one of the pervs said, "he chews those blue diamond leaves all the time, and he's usually totally stoned."

"But his cock is as hard as a rock." Another added. "He hasn't cum in two years."

"Well," Snot Brite said happily, we'll just have to see what we can do about that won't...AH SHIT." Shitty had finally got her ready and shoved his cock in her ass.

"Relax." He said happily, this one was Tight. (Yes, that's right, Tight with a capital 'T'.)

"RELAX MY ASS." Snot Brite shouted. Noisy looked at her with professional admiration.

"Exactly." Shitty said, then Rock pushed his cock into Snot Brite's mouth, effectively putting an end to the discussion. Snot Brite had Horsy's cock buried deep in her pussy, she had Rock's cock pushing at the back of her throat, and she had Shitty's cock trying to split her agonised ass open. She was struggling to know what to do next, but in the long run she really didn't have a choice. She did push back a bit as Shitty worked his way deeper into her ass, and the pain was reduced slightly. The other pervs all watched in awe.

"Is she watertight now?" Quickie asked with a grin.

Elsie woke up in her own bed with a massive ache between her legs and a vague bit of a smile on her face. William had been very good to her. He had put her in the bath and washed her gently and thoroughly as her aching muscles relaxed. He had carried her tenderly to bed and held her tight as she fell asleep. Elsie had never been treated this well before. Just before dawn he woke her with his tongue in her pussy and he had made love to her slowly and tenderly until she managed to cum, and then he had fucked her harder until he had cum inside her. They had walked together back to her quarters, which adjoined the Queen's on the opposite side to the Queen's guard's quarters where he lived. He had actually hugged and then kissed her, and then asked if he could see her again. Elsie actually liked William, and she had said yes. She wondered if, for the first time in her life, she had a boyfriend.

"Tongue maiden." The Queen called, and Elsie got up and went to her.

"Yes Your Majesty?"

"Prepare the magic dildo, I think it has good news for me."

"Yes Your Majesty." Elsie wheeled the magic dildo out and put it in front of the mirror. The Queen was lying on her bed, and Elsie was walking to her when there was a knock at the door.

"Yes?" The Queen asked.

"Your Majesty," Elsie thought it might have been Nobby's voice outside the door, "the King has requested your presence in the Royal Romp Room. He asked for you to wear the little school dress, you know the one with..."

"I know." The Queen shouted impatiently. She looked at Elsie, and then regretfully at the magic dildo. "That will have to wait, get me dressed and then put it away."

"Yes Your Majesty." Elsie said. She wondered if she should use it, her pussy hurt already, but it would make her more beautiful. For William. Elsie smiled.

Snot Brite was vertical, and was being held up by four of the seven pervs. Two of them had their cocks buried in her, one in her pussy and one in her ass. Two more pervs were standing behind the one in her pussy, and the last one was on their shoulders feeding his cock into her mouth. She wasn't sure which cocks belonged to whom any more, although one would have been Rock's. She had been screwed all day, in all positions imaginable, and some that weren't, but since Rock had first put his cock in her mouth his was always in her somewhere, and he had showed no signs of cumming. Speaking of cumming the cock in her mouth squirted and, at the same time, the one in her ass did the same. Snot Brite was not sure if she liked being screwed in the ass. It did hurt, but not as much now. But the pervs liked it so much she didn't really want to say no to them when they asked. It was mid afternoon now, and the Pervs were all very tired. Except for Rock they had all cum five or six times today, and finally they decided to go to bed. Rock continued screwing Snot Brite as the others slept, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but always well. She lay on her back as the big hard cock thumped in and out. Snot Brite was in heaven. She didn't mind if the Queen didn't want her back at the castle, she had found the perfect place to live right here.

"I think," the King said, as he lay exhausted next to Queen, "that we should play naughty schoolgirl orgy tonight." The Queen smiled, it was one of her favourite games.

"That would be good, just you, Ivor and the Guards?"

"I think tonight we can go for full audience participation." The Queen smiled even wider.

"Should we try and break my record?" The King nodded.

"We'd better start getting the men together, it's sixty three in a night isn't it?" He asked.

"No, I managed seventy one last week." The King patted her affectionately. 

"I don't know how you do it." He said contentedly. "Can you play with my bum again? That felt good when I was blindfolded."

"You tell me what you want and I'll do it." The Queen was happy, she would try for seventy-five tonight, they just needed to make sure that Beauty and Bitch had them ready when they came to her.She would also get the pageboy and find out what he did to the King's ass so she could do it too.

Rock had been screwing Snot Brite for about eight hours in one position or another, and one hole or another. He didn't know why he couldn't cum any more, but he thought it might have been the blue diamond leaves he chewed to get high. Since he had started on them his cock was almost always rock hard, and he was usually stoned. But he hadn't managed to cum. As a result the approaching orgasm interested him, but he didn't actually expect it to arrive. But arrive it did, and with a vengeance. Two years of sexual tension were suddenly released with very little warning.




Snot Brite and the Seven Pervs Ch. 04



"FUUUUUUUUUUCK." Rock bellowed as he cum. The backpressure pushed Snot Brite and the bed she was on into the wall of the room with a crash and Rock shot backwards, still cumming, like a rocket. He hit the wall, and then fell down the stairs, spraying all the way. The rest of the pervs woke to the crashing of furniture, the scream of Rock and the damp spray of Rock's reservoirs of cum, all discharged at high pressure. Snot Brite was white and dripping all over, just lying there in shock. Rock was nowhere to be seen. 

"What the hell happened?" A voice cried.

"What is that awful taste?" 

"What was that noise?"

"What is that dripping off the roof?"

"Rock cum." Snot Brite said, answering all the questions at once, and there were the sounds of disgusted spitting and retching.

"Where is he?" Someone asked.

"Flew out the window I think?" Snot Brite said. "I couldn't really see much." She thought for a moment. "Or hear much, or breathe much." She was wiping the mess off her face and licking it up. The pervs would have thought it erotic if it wasn't dripping off them too.

"Did Rock explode?"

"Nah, there'd be more red in it."

"Yeah." There was a thump from the stairs and Rock's head appeared. He was bleeding from numerous cuts and grazes.

"Like wow." He said, and no one was prepared to argue. There was silence for half a minute.

"Do you want my name now?" Squirty finally asked. Rock shook his head, and there was silence for another half a minute.

"How do you feel Rock?" Snot Brite eventually asked with concern.

"Empty dude, how do you feel?"

"Full."

William smiled and lifted his glass.

"To the prettiest tonguemaiden in the castle." He said. Elsie smiled.

"I'm no Beauty." She said.

"Neither is Beauty." William said slyly. "Her tits are sort of dangly without serious strapping."

"No." Elsie said, scandalised.

"And her pussy has teeth."

"Now you're just teasing me."

"Actually I'm trying to seduce you."

"Why? You've already had your way with me."

"This time I want it to be because you want to, not because you have to."

"I want to."

The pervs all left for work happy. Rock had been bandaged up and they had all had a thorough scrubbing to remove his cum. But they had some great new stories, and expected to bring back plenty of diamonds in the morning, and then the wizard would be happy. They sang a tender song for Snot Brite as they left.

"Bye ho, bye ho, it's off to work we go.

But we'll be back to fill your crack,

Bye ho, bye ho..."

As the sound of their singing faded Snot Brite turned and looked at the mess. She decided to clean it up for them, it was the least she could do in exchange for the fantastic screwing she had received, with a bit of luck she would sleep tonight and they could all do it again in the morning. She smiled and went to work. 



Snot Brite and the Seven Pervs Ch. 05



Author's note. Firstly, please read chapters 1, 2, 3 and 4. I have not put in any reminders of what happened last time; there just wasn't the room. Although this story is in the humour and satire category I have also tried to keep it sexy, and have attempted to at least touch on most genres over the full series. That means if you don't like gay, lesbian, anal, transgender or any of the other categories within Literotica then there may be bits you want to skip over. Please give it a go and let me know what you think, I enjoy getting comments, even those with creative criticism. There are six chapters and they should be put up at the rate of at least one every week. Do not expect reality, it is a fairy tale.

The story is set way before condoms, so if you want a safe sex message then I suggest that if you sneak into her bedroom at her parent's place for a quickie, you first make sure she's not a 'screamer'.

Please enjoy -- BB1212

*

The pageboy was hiding. The guards had burst into the pageboy quarters looking for him, and apparently the Queen wanted to talk to him. Luckily he wasn't there at the time, but he knew he was in real trouble now. He hadn't wanted to suck the King's cock, but the Queen had made him do it, and when he had been alone with the blindfolded King he couldn't resist rubbing the royal ass and just poking his finger in a tiny little bit. The pageboy knew he liked to be touched there, and judging by the King's twitching cock, he did too. But now the Queen must have been mad the pageboy for trying to turn the King into a Queen. The pageboy was so confused; at pageboy school they had never taught them anything about this situation. All those years of study were now wasted, he thought. You didn't graduate as a pageboy until you were twenty, and he now had three years experience after that, but it was all wasted now, he could never be a pageboy again. He ducked into a room as he heard marching feet approaching. It was full of dresses, and in desperation the pageboy put one on. 

"It won't work without help." A feminine voice said, and the pageboy jumped and turned around. A maid was standing there looking at him.

"What?"

"You still look far too... manly." The maid said.

"For what?" The pageboy asked.

"To get away with wearing a dress."

"I just don't want to get caught."

"Oh, but you just have been, but let me help. Now, if you want to get away with being a girl, you have to pay much more attention to colour."

"Hang on, I..."

"No, that green dress just won't do, try this blue one on, it matches your eyes."

"I'm going now." The pageboy had had enough.

"And I'll call the guards, dressed like that they'll get you easily." The pageboy hesitated, he most likely could do with some help, and she seemed ready to give it.

"OK." He said reluctantly, and took the dress off.

"Now you can't wear your normal clothes underneath," the maid said, "it looks way too obvious, take them off too." The pageboy looked around nervously.

"In here?" He asked.

"Don't worry," she said, "I've seen naked men before." He hesitated and then shrugged, what harm could it do? The pageboy took his clothes off, but was embarrassed because his cock was now half erect. He tried to hide it with his hands, but the maid was not having any of that.

"That will give you away every time." She said. "You have to get rid of it, do you want to do it or should I?" She had a hungry look in her eye as she said it.

"I... er..." The pageboy was lost for words, he suddenly felt threatened. The maid smiled.

"I'll do it." She said, and got down on her knees in front of him.

"I don't think..." The pageboy's words trailed off as her warm mouth wrapped around his cock and sucked it down. The pageboy whimpered and moaned as the maid sucked his cock with great skill. A few minutes later he felt the cum rising from his balls. "I'm gonna cum..." He said and the maid just sucked him harder, and then it happened, she swallowed the cum down as he squirted it, never missing a drop, and then she just knelt there smiling as he trembled in front of her.

"Kneel down before you fall down." The maid said, smiling. The pageboy fell to his knees in front of her, still shaking from the intense orgasm. She was smiling triumphantly, like the cat that got the cream. Well she had in a way.

"That was fantastic." The pageboy said.

"Yeah." She agreed, "it got me going too, do you want to help out?" He nodded, and she stood up in front of him and lifted her dress. The suddenly confused pageboy was looking at a hard cock.

"What the..."

"Who better to help you dress like a girl?" The maid said. "Now suck it." She pushed her cock into his mouth before he could argue. "I don't want to feel your teeth," the maid said firmly, "and use your tongue underneath, at the base of the head, yeah that's it." The pageboy learned quickly with the maid instructing him, and eventually his hand found her balls. He wondered if he should think of them as his balls, but he had pictured the maid as girl first, and it was difficult to think of her as boy, even with the evidence filling his mouth. The maid groaned in ecstasy as his hand worked back to her ass and rubbed.

"Poke a finger in." She moaned, and the pageboy did. Suddenly warm liquid filled his mouth and he could feel her ass clenching around his finger. The pageboy wanted to spit the cum out but she held his head firmly. "Swallow." She commanded, and eventually he had to as his mouth filled. She held her cock in his mouth until it started to soften, and then she took it out. "Lick the drops off." She said, and he did. The pageboy was worried. Did this make him gay? Twice now he had sucked a cock, and once he had swallowed the cum, and he actually enjoyed it. He wasn't sure what it all meant.

"Um... what next?" He asked.

"We get you dressed and then we go." She said, looking feminine again with her cock hidden under her dress.

"Where to?"

"There's a steam bath not far away," she smiled, "there's people there who will look after us." He was worried about that, but what choice did he have? There were still marching feet passing outside regularly. 

The Queen was on her back on the edge of a table, with two servants holding her legs up and apart. A man was fucking her furiously, trying hard to cum in the allotted time. They were already behind schedule and might not make the record tonight. 

"I'm sorry Your Highness," Ivor said to the King, "they seem to be quite slow to cum tonight." He looked worried.

"It's difficult." The King replied. He looked at Ivor and then whispered conspiratorially. "The Queen is getting a bit loose down there, you know the time that I managed to cum in her, I thought I heard it echo." Ivor struggled to hide his smile. 

"Would you like something a bit tighter for yourself Your Highness? There's this little serving maid who wants to be on the show, I could arrange an audition. She is very pretty, and a virgin too." The King smiled.

"Make it so." He said happily. "It's good to be the King." A servant approached and bowed.

"Your Majesty?" The King looked.

"Yes?"

"Snot Brite's maid is worried, she hasn't been seen since yesterday." The King frowned. Where could the girl be? He nodded.

"Wait." He commanded and walked over to the Queen as the man fucking her pulled his cock out and added to the pools on her belly. He quickly moved aside and the next man pushed his cock into her.

"Do you know where Snot Brite is?" The King asked.

"She said something about going to basket making camp." The Queen replied, and smiled as the new man pulled out and shot his load. That was more like the speed she wanted.

"Oh, OK." The King said, and went back to the servant.

"She'll be away for a while." The King said to the servant, who was staring at the Queen being gangbanged. "Do you want a turn?" The King asked, and the servant nodded. The King beckoned one of the helpers, and the servant was added to the line of waiting men.

The wizard approached the cottage quietly. He had decided that he had waited long enough. He would pick one of the pervs and make his cock just one inch long. That should get the others to find more diamonds quickly. Each day they failed to produce he would shrink another one. He needed diamonds. As he approached the cottage he heard a beautiful female voice singing.

"One day my Prince will cum,

In my pussy and up my bum."

The wizard coughed, and the singing stopped.

"Is there someone there?" A girls voice asked, and the wizard went into the house to see a beautiful young woman sweeping the floor. "Oh, hello." She said. "Who are you?" The wizard looked at her.

"Merlin." He replied. "I'm the local wizard." He looked at her questioningly.

"I'm Snot Brite." She said happily, and then giggled. "I'm the local Princess."

"Where are the seven pervs?" Merlin asked.

"At work, they'll be back in the morning." He smiled.

"I'll wait." He looked at the shape of her body through the dress, it had been a while, but he might just have some fun tonight.

"Oh, goody." She smiled broadly. "Cuppa tea or me?" She pushed her boobies in his direction.

"We'll start with you." Merlin said, and he waved his wand. Snot Brite's clothes were suddenly neatly folded on a bench, and she was naked in front of him. She smiled.

"That's clever." She said. "Is it magic?" He grinned.

"Yes." He said, then he waved his wand again and her pubic hair disappeared.

"Oooh," she squealed, "now you can see all of my bits." She looked at Merlin. "Why are you still dressed?" Merlin liked Snot Brite already, she had the right attitude. He waved his wand again and he was suddenly naked, except for his hat and wand of course, and he was lying on the table. His very large cock was sticking straight up. Snot Brite clapped her hands in glee.

"Is that all for me?" She asked happily. Merlin nodded and waved the wand once more. Snot Brite lifted off the floor and floated up, she had to bend forward to prevent bumping her head on the roof. She giggled as she floated over to Merlin, and she lifted her legs as she slowly lowered onto his cock.

"Oh yes," she moaned as the cock went in, "screw me." Merlin smiled and waved his wand again. Slowly Snot Brite started rotating on his cock. She was smiling so he sped her up, and soon she was spinning faster while riding up and down from the tip to the base.

"This feels good." She moaned as the cock twisted and turned inside her.

"Oh yeah." Merlin agreed. Most women were screaming or even vomiting by now, but Snot Brite was enjoying it. He kept her spinning for a while, and then showed some mercy. She stopped turning and they floated off the table and turned so he was standing and she was horizontal, just supported by magic. Merlin started fucking her again, and Snot Brite moaned happily. Merlin looked at her tits. They were rotating in opposite directions. He watched for a while. "Boobies," Merlin muttered, "must obey boobies." Snot Brite orgasmed, screaming her pleasure as his cock thrust in and out of her.

"Cum in me." She cried, and he did, his cum leaving a tingling warm glow.

"Damn that was good." Merlin said. "You are so tight."

"Why do people always say that?" Snot Brite asked.

"Women get looser the more they have sex," Merlin explained.

"And men don't like that?" Snot Brite asked.

"No."

"Oh. You're a wizard, can you magic me a pussy and ass that never get loose?" Snot Brite asked.

"Goodness me," Merlin had never had that request before, and he suddenly wondered why, "I could but that spell would need two diamonds."

"Why do you need diamonds?" Snot Brite asked, and Merlin looked around furtively.

"Can you keep a secret?" He asked.

"Oh, yes." Snot Brite said eagerly.

"My wand uses diamonds for power." Merlin said, and he pulled a plug out of the end of it and showed Snot Brite the small compartment with what looked like a dark stone in it. "That's one in there." Snot Brite squealed in delight.

"I like diamonds." She said, and then she frowned. "But I don't have any now, I shouldn't go home or the Queen will kill me."

"Why?" Merlin asked, and Snot Brite pondered.

"I don't know really." She said finally. "Now I'll get all loose and then nobody will want to screw me any more." She pouted. Merlin wanted another fuck, she really was quite exceptional, but he didn't want to use two of his precious remaining diamonds on her.

"Maybe the pervs could help?" He said. "They have a diamond mine." Snot Brite looked up at him hopefully.

"Really?" She said, wondering if he was teasing her.

"Yes," Merlin replied, "that's why I came here, they need to get me more diamonds, and they haven't found many lately."

"That would be nice," Snot Brite said, "but I couldn't ask them for that, I'm already living in their house." And most likely getting fucked senseless every day, Merlin thought.

"I'll tell you what," Merlin said, "if we can fuck again..."

"I don't fuck." Snot Brite said. "I never have."

"What?" Merlin was confused.

"I think sticking my tongue up your nose would be disgusting, and my daddy said I have to wait anyway." Merlin was confused. Well really she was the one who was confused.

"So what did we just do?" He asked.

"We screwed." Snot Brite said. Merlin wondered what he should tell her, but the little head won the argument.

"My mistake," he said, "if we can screw again, and if the pervs bring me more than twenty-five diamonds in the morning when they get home, I'll use two of them on you." Merlin should have felt guilty, they had never managed more than eleven, but a fuck is a fuck, even if you are a wizard. Snot Brite brightened visibly.

"Really?" She couldn't believe her luck, a screw and a forever-tight pussy and ass too, this wizard was ever so nice. "I could just kiss you." Merlin smiled.

"I'm sure you will." He said.

"Where do you want to screw me?" Snot Brite asked.

"I've cum in your pussy already, next should be your mouth and then your ass."

"Oh goody, you can get the whole set." Snot Brite said.

The pageboy really didn't know about this. The maid had brushed his long hair until it shone, and had shaved his face very smooth. She had used some things on his face that made him look quite, er, pretty. She had put some things in his dress that looked like tits too, and looking in the mirror he thought he looked like a girl. At least it would be a good disguise from the guards. He looked at her, and decided that they were both convincing in their disguises. He wondered who she was hiding from. After some lessons in talking and walking like a girl he nervously stepped out into the corridor behind her, and followed her. He tried to remember to roll his hips as he walked, and to take smaller steps, but when a group of guards came past he was very nervous. One of them slapped his ass, and he jumped, but they kept going.

"See," the maid said, "I told you it would work." He smiled nervously, and followed behind her. Eventually the maid knocked on a door. The viewing panel slid open and eyes contemplated them for a moment. Then the panel shut again, and there was the sound of bolts being drawn, the door opened and they walked in. The door was shut and bolted again behind them. The room was big and had steaming pools of water on one side and a row of what looked like beds on the other side, with a few raised tables in between. There were a lot of naked men in the water and quite a few just lying on the beds. The pageboy couldn't see many women, just a few wandering around and seemingly waiting for something. A man wearing a loose robe hurried over to them and the maid whispered in his ear, he smiled widely and beckoned the pageboy.

"Over here," he said cheerfully, "we need to have the doctor check you out." A few other men looked at them and smiled. The pageboy was starting to get worried, but he followed along nervously. The maid had gone up to one of the other men and was talking to him. As thepage boy walked behind the man in the robe two other men fell into step beside the pageboy. The first man led them to a raised table and then nodded to the other two, they grabbed the pageboys arms and bent him forwards over the table.

"What the...?" The pageboy started to say, but a blow to his head cut him off in mid sentence.

"Quiet now lovely," a voice whispered in his ear, "the doctor needs to check you out."

"I..." Smack, another blow to the head and the pageboy was quiet. Hands behind him lifted his skirt and exposed his naked ass and balls to everyone in the room.

"Nice." A man's voice said and hands cupped his balls, but then ran up to his asshole, rubbing it gently. The pageboy moaned quietly.

"She likes it." A voice said, and the pageboy shook his head. Then lips touched his ass and started kissing it, while the hand still rubbed his asshole. The pageboy tried hard not to like it, but his body responded, making the men behind him laugh.

"She still thinks she's a boy." A voice said, and then a finger shoved inside his dry asshole. The pageboy screamed in pain and surprise.

"Ah, fuck me." He exclaimed.

"OK." A voice behind him said, and the pageboy tensed.

"I didn't mean... aaaargh."

Merlin had now cum in all of Snot Brite's holes, and he was feeling quite satisfied. The ass fuck had been great, with just the right amount of tightness and friction, and his orgasm had been very strong, even after two others. This girl was great; she made him feel like he was just a boy of one hundred and fifty again. He decided he might keep her for a while.

"Do you want something to eat?" He asked kindly, as she lay on the bench panting.

"That, uh, would be nice." She gasped. "But the pervs don't seem, uh, to have much food around." He smiled. Her naivety was refreshing.

"That's OK." He reassured her. "Look outside." Snot Brite did, even though she knew it was dark, and the wizard waved his wand. Snot Brite gasped as the clearing in front of the cottage was suddenly bathed in bright light. Two rabbits that were eating grass looked up, and then lifted up off the ground. Their skins fell off as they flew toward the cottage, and their bellies opened and their guts fell out. The bodies glowed red for a moment, and then that faded as they came through the doorway and landed on two plates that had flown out of the cupboard and landed on the table. The rabbits, now cooked and ready to eat, landed on the plates and some vegetables came through the door and landed next to them, while knives and forks came out of the drawer and the table was set for supper. Snot Brite glided down into a chair opposite Merlin. Then a drink appeared in front of each of them too. 

"Wow." Snot Brite said, wide eyed, as Merlin picked up his goblet.

"Cheers." He said, and she picked up hers and drank.

"What is that?" Snot Brite asked.

"A black Russian." Merlin replied.

"It's got bubbles in it." Snot Brite said.

"Do you like it?"

"Oooh, yes." She took another drink. There might be time for another fuck after supper Merlin thought. Then the pervs would come home and he could do what he came here for.

The Queen looked up as number seventy-two pushed his way inside her. He was very big, but he still didn't have to push too hard. The record would be broken tonight; the only question now was by how many.

Elsie looked fondly down on William. He was in her and she rode his cock slowly, building up to yet another orgasm. She had lost count, but she now knew that the myth of multiple orgasms wasn't really a myth.

"Aren't you tired?" William asked, smiling lovingly.

"Oh, no." She replied. "Are you?" 

"No." 

"Tell me when you want to cum."

"I'm enjoying watching you for the moment." She spun around, giving him a different view, just for a change.




Snot Brite and the Seven Pervs Ch. 05



The pageboy whimpered as another cock entered his aching ass. He had no idea how many it had been, but it was a lot. He opened his eyes and could see the maid on a table in front of him. She was in the same position as he was and she too had a cock up her ass. She saw him looking at her and she smiled and waved. He groaned.

The pervs came running into the cottage, chattering excitedly, but they went silent when they saw Snot Brite sitting at the table with Merlin.

"Well, well." He said. "If it isn't the mighty miners, I hope you have plenty of diamonds for me. If not, who will be first for a little dick?" He waved his wand and they cringed.

"No, no." Cunnie said. "We have diamonds."

"Lot's of diamonds." Horsy added. Merlin looked at them.

"That had better not be a lie." He said. "That might make noses grow, but the material has to come from somewhere." Rock took a deep breath and nervously stepped forward.

"Here you go dude." He said, and emptied a bag of about eight good sized diamonds on the table in front of Merlin. 

"Not enough..." Merlin started to say, but Shitty had stepped forward and emptied another bag. One by one the pervs each emptied a bag in front of Merlin. The diamonds were very large.

"Forty one diamonds." Cunnie said proudly.

"Wow," Snot Brite said, eyes wide, "that's more than twenty five isn't it?" 

"Yes." Merlin said. He took two good sized diamonds from the pile. "We will be upstairs for a short while." He said. "Do not disturb us." The pervs nodded, and listened to the crackle and fizz of major magic spells from upstairs for a while, wondering what was going on, but not daring to look. Eventually Merlin and Snot Brite came back downstairs. The pervs were happy to see that Snot Brite still looked the same.

"So," Merlin said, "how did you manage to get so many diamonds in one night?" 

"We found a new mother lode of inspiration." Squirty said, looking at Snot Brite.

"Really, can you get more from this mother lode?" Merlin wondered what he could achieve with this much power, he had this idea about ladies in lakes and swords in stones, but he would need a lot of diamonds.

"I think we can." Squirty said, he had just had another idea.

"Good." Merlin said happily. "I think I will take Snot Brite with me for a while." The pervs frowned, and Snot Brite looked surprised.

"That could be a problem." Quickie said, and Merlin glared at him.

"Why?" He asked.

"Uh, well, she is the mother lode of inspiration." Quickie said. Snot Brite smiled, she was a mother lode of inspiration, which sounded impressive, whatever it meant. Merlin frowned. He didn't know exactly how the pervs' mine worked, but he knew the magic was too strong for him to even go inside it; he needed the pervs to do that for him.

"I have use for her." Merlin said.

"So do we if we want to get diamonds." Noisy said. There was an impasse for a couple of minutes.

"Uh, hello?" Snot Brite said, and they all turned to look at her. "You guys want me so you can screw me, right?" She asked, and the pervs nodded. "And you want me so you can screw me too?" She asked Merlin.

"Yes."

"Well, why don't I stay here, and you can come early to pick up the diamonds every night and screw me while you are waiting?" It was a simple solution, but a good one.

The pageboy woke up. He was in a soft bed, and he wondered if his memories of last night had all just been a bad dream. He hoped so, but his ass was aching badly, and he thought there was no other explanation for that. An arm reached around him and pulled him close to a body behind him.

"Wasn't that fun?" The maid whispered in his ear. "Now do you want to be the mummy or the daddy?" The pageboy closed his eyes.

"The daddy?" He said hopefully.

"OK then, roll over and suck mummy's cock."

"Magic dildo, huge and grand. Who's the sexiest in the land?" The Queen was once again deeply impaled by the magic dildo. She smiled in anticipation of the answer.

"Magnificent Queen so very tight, the sexiest one is still Snot Brite."

"What? It can't be, she's dead." The Queen said angrily.

"Gorgeous Queen, with splendid curves, she lives now with the seven pervs."

"Does she?" The Queen asked. "I might just pay her a visit and finish her off myself." She got off the magic dildo again.

"I haven't cum." It howled.

"You'll just have to wait." The Queen snapped.

"Just until she leaves the room." Elsie whispered. She wanted to be more beautiful for William. If magic dildos could smile, that one would have.



Snot Brite and the Seven Pervs Ch. 06



Authors note. Firstly, please read the previous chapters. I have not put in any reminders of what happened last time; there just wasn’t the room. Although this story is in the humour and satire category I have also tried to keep it sexy, and have attempted to at least touch on most genres over the full series. That means if you don’t like gay, lesbian, anal, transgender or any of the other categories within Literotica then there may be bits you want to skip over. Please give it a go and let me know what you think, I enjoy getting comments, even those with creative criticism. Do not expect reality, it is a fairy tale.

The story is set way before condoms, so if you want a safe sex message then remember that if you want to have sex on the local football field it is best not to do it at game time.

Please enjoy – BB1212



The seven pervs were gangbanging Snot Brite again. After some initial complimentary comments on her newly bald pussy they had got into stuffing it once more, and were trying some new ideas. Currently they were doing a thing they called ‘cum upstairs’ where Snot Brite had to climb up the stairs, on her hands and knees, but couldn’t move up a step until one of the pervs had cum in one of her holes. They were all having a lot of fun, but were watching Rock warily.

“AHHHHH, YEAH.” Noisy cried out, and Snot Brite moved up a step. Quickie moved up to take his place and the others didn’t bother resuming their fucking; it just wouldn’t be worth it. Quickie managed to last for about twenty seconds, which was close to a record, and Snot Brite moved up another step. Shitty shoved his cock back into her ass and Horsy returned his to her mouth. Snot Brite did struggle to breathe with Horsy’s monster in her mouth, but he enjoyed it so much that she just tried harder to get it all down. Snot Brite was becoming quite skilled in deep throat. She felt yet another cock push into her pussy, although it was not getting in very deep. It must be hard to get a good position for double penetration on a narrow staircase, even for smaller people like the pervs, she thought.

When they finally got to the top of the stairs Snot Brite was quite sore.

“I need to lie down for a while.” She said, and she did.

“I’ve got an idea for a new game.” Quickie said. “I call it ‘soggy Snot Brite’. We all make a circle around Snot Brite and masturbate onto her. The last one to cum has to lick it all up.”

“No way dude.” Said Rock, chewing on a leaf, and the others just laughed. Cunnie had resumed his favourite position, with his tongue in Snot Brite’s groove.

“Why would we cum on her,” he asked, “when we can cum in her?” Quickie smiled ruefully. He had thought that it was a good idea. 

The Queen had prepared herself carefully. She had seen the castle witch, and had been given a special poison, one that would make the person who took it deeply unconscious until they were woken by loves first kiss. She had actually asked for cyanide, but the witch had run out of that, and it was two weeks before the next shipment. The Queen carefully made herself up to look old. She put ash through her beautiful hair to make it grey, and used charcoal to put lines on her face. Dressed in a shabby old dress, and carrying a basket full of apples the Queen left the castle quietly; she would fix Snot Brite once and for all.

Elsie was happily riding the magic dildo.

“I’m sure it didn’t take you this long to cum last time.” She observed, and the dildo wriggled.

“Can’t I just enjoy a tight pussy for a while?” It asked.

“You can,” Elsie said, and sighed, “but I don’t know if mine is tight any more, I was fucked for hours by five men with huge cocks the night before last.”

“And last night?”

“One man with a huge cock.” She sighed again.

“What’s the matter?” The magic dildo asked.

“It doesn’t matter.” The dildo suddenly tickled Elsie deep inside her, making her gasp.

“How did I do that?” It asked.

“You are a magic dildo.” Elsie said.

“So you’ve got a tight grip around a magic dildo’s neck and you still don’t want to tell it your problems?” Elsie thought.

“What can you do?” She asked.

“Just about anything, I’m magic.” The dildo replied. “But you’d better ask soon, I’m getting close.”

“How do I make William love me?” Elsie asked.

“You can’t make him love you.” The dildo replied, and Elsie slumped in disappointment, “He already does.” The dildo groaned and Elsie felt it cumming inside her.

“Thankyou.” She said; as dildo started losing it’s lifelike feel. 

The Queen was having difficulty finding out where the seven pervs lived. She had been walking through the forest for hours, but hadn’t even met anyone to ask, and it was getting late. She thought she was in the right area, but she couldn’t see their house, there were just too many trees. The Queen cursed whoever it was that had invented forests, why did they have to have all these damn trees? She was sitting on a rock resting, when she heard some singing men approaching. The Queen hid behind some trees.

“Bye ho, bye ho, it’s off to work we go.

When we return, your keep you’ll earn,

Bye ho, bye ho, bye ho.”

“Bye ho, bye ho, it’s off to work we go.

But when dawn cracks, you’re on your back,

Bye ho, bye ho, bye ho.”

“Bye ho, bye ho, it’s off to work we go.

But when day cums, we’ll fill your bum

Bye ho, bye ho, bye ho.”

The line of small men marched past, singing their bawdy song, and the Queen guessed that these were the seven pervs. She waited until they were out of sight and then hurried off in the direction they had come from, she must be close to that bitch Snot Brite now. The Queen walked for a few minutes, and then she saw a small track that went off the main path and behind some trees. She went to investigate, and soon she saw that there was a cottage behind the trees, she smiled.

“Hello dear.” The voice at the door said, and Snot Brite jumped.

“Oh, you scared me.” She said, to the little old lady in the doorway.

“I’m sorry dear, I was just passing and I wondered if you would like one of my lovely juicy apples?” The lady held up an apple.

“Oh, you are so kind, but I have to say no.” Snot Brite replied.

“Really, why?” The lady sounded upset.

“My daddy told me that nine out of every ten Princesses who are poisoned have the poison given to them in a lovely, juicy apple.”

“Really?” The lady asked.

“Yes.” Snot Brite said.

“Oh…” The last thing the Queen had expected was the girl being smart enough to not take the poison apple. She looked at Snot Brite slyly. “How about this then?” She asked, and peeled a firm banana. Snot Brite giggled. 

“I can’t eat it,” she said, “because you had the apples, but it looks like a cock, do you want to screw me with it?” The old lady smiled.

“Of course dear.” She said. “Just bend over the table there.” While Snot Brite was lifting her skirt and bending over the table the Queen poured some of the poison over the banana.

“I’m ready.” Snot Brite said, and the Queen smiled evilly and shoved the poison banana up Snot Brite’s bald and waiting pussy.

The pervs were in the middle of another dirty story when they all suddenly looked in the direction of their cottage.

“Boobies, must help boobies.” They all said, and to the great frustration of the mine they all got up and ran out.

The Woodsman was chopping wood in the forest when he looked up, and barely missed cutting his own foot off.

“Boobies, must help boobies.” He said, and he ran in the direction of the pervs cottage.

A colony of ants was marching down a familiar path when those in the lead suddenly diverted off into unknown territory.

“Boobies, must help boobies.” They said, in ant language.

ET was having a few meads with his mates in a local tavern when he looked up.

“Boobies, must help boobies.” He said. First he drank his mead and then he and his mates flew out of the window in the direction of the cottage. One of the patrons asked the tavern owner if it was really Halloween already, but he just shrugged and poured another drink.

Merlin was a very long way away doing a house call, when he suddenly looked around mid curse.

“Boobies, must help boobies.” He said, and he glided out of the room and toward the pervs cottage.

“Hey, wait.” The victim called in vain. “Aren’t you going to finish the job?” Merlin disappeared and the victim looked at himself. “What the hell is the use of a man who is a horse below the waist?” He asked. His wife lifted his tail.

“I can think of one good use already.” She said with a smile.

The Queen was happily running back toward the castle. It had worked so well, she thought. Soon after she had bonked the bitch with the baited banana Snot Brite’s eyes had drooped, and then she had fallen down onto the table unconscious. The Queen had left her there with her skirt up and had run out of the cottage cackling madly. At last it was done and the Queen was once again the most sexy woman in the land. She was so happy with herself that she ran right into the seven pervs without seeing them, and she fell to the ground. The Queen looked up and saw it was the pervs.

“Ha ha,” she laughed madly, “you’re too late. I have poisoned Snot Brite and there’s nothing you can do to save her.” She looked up as the pervs faces clouded with anger.

“Kill her.” One said.

“You can’t kill me, I’m the Queen.” She said, suddenly a bit frightened.

“I’ve fucked a Princess, but I’ve never fucked a Queen.”

“OK, fuck her and then kill her.”

“You can’t…” But they did. The Queen was gagged and then shoved roughly onto her back and her dress lifted, then, with no preparation, a perve cock was slammed into her pussy.

“Shit,” Squirty said, “She’s too fucking loose, this is like throwing a strand of spaghetti down Fifth Avenue.” But he fucked her anyway, and eventually shot his cum in her eyes. The Queen screamed with rage into the gag the whole way through, but the pervs weren’t listening. As soon as Squirty had finished Noisy jumped in.

“HOLD MY ARMS GUYS, I DON’T WANT TO FALL INTO THIS PIT.” But he too fucked her until he managed to cum in her. “NEXT.” He shouted and Quickie slipped in.

“I like this,” he said happily, “there’s no friction, so I can last longer.” And he did, a full two minutes, which was a new record for him. Shitty was next, and he went for the ass as usual.

“Bloody hell,” he said, “even this hole is slack, the whole army must have been through here.” After Shitty had cum in the Queen’s ass it was Cunnie’s turn, and he didn’t bother tasting this one, he just fucked her.

“She’s got a French pussy.” He said grinning.

“Why to you say that?” Quickie asked.

“I think it’s named Toulouse.” Cunnie said. And he too slammed into her violently until he managed to cum. Horsy was next, and even his larger cock was not sufficient to stretch the Queen.

“Isn’t this one of the natural wonders of the world?” He asked.

“Why?” 

“I’m sure I’ve discovered the Grand Canyon.” He said with a smile. When Horsy had finished Rock took over, and he squeezed his nuts into the Queen as well as his huge cock.

“Hey look guys, it’s the Royal ball room.” He said with a smile. When Rock finally managed to cum in her (it wasn’t taking so long now, since the drought had broken) the pervs looked down at the enraged Queen.

“How are we going to kill her?” One asked, but then some eerie creatures floated up the path to them.

“She killed Snot Brite.” Horsy said, with a sniff.

“ET fuck Queen, then kill Queen.” One of them said. The pervs looked at each other.

“OK.” They said, and ran up the path toward their cottage.

ET pushed his cock into the Queen and shook his head.

“Black hole.” He said. “Need help.” The other aliens moved in and soon there were four alien cocks all probing the Queen’s inner depths. But they weren’t being nice, they each had a little set of teeth on the end, and they were finding the most sensitive places and biting them hard. The Queen was screaming into her gag, her eyes wide with pain and horror as the aliens fucked her. When they finally did cum it was like acid had been squirted up inside her. ET looked at her evilly.

“Kill Queen now.” He said and lifted a glowing finger.

“Wait.” A voice said, and the aliens turned to see the woodsman standing there.

“I’ll kill her with my axe.” He said, “But first I’ll fuck her with the handle, then I’ll fuck her with the blade.” ET nodded, and he and his mates floated up the path toward the pervs cottage.

“Your Majesty.” The woodsman said to the wide-eyed Queen, and then he shoved the axe handle up her pussy. The Queen wriggled in pain. “I’m sure there won’t be too many splinters.” The woodsman said with satisfaction, as he twisted the axe.

The Seven pervs found Snot Brite lying motionless on the table, the poison banana lying on the floor next to her. Sorrowfully and gently they lay her on the table. They looked at her lying there and then stripped her. They did that because she had experienced so much joy when she was undressed that they though that was how she should be remembered. It was a sad time for all of them, and no one was sure exactly what to do.

“We’ll wait for Merlin.” Shitty said. “I don’t care how many diamonds we have to give him, he just has to save her for us.”

“Yeah.” They waited with hope.

The woodsman was finished. He had fucked the Queen thoroughly with the axe handle, he had masturbated and shot his cum up the Queen’s nose, while telling her it was hard to find a tight hole on her to cum in, and now he lifted his axe. The trembling Queen was almost glad it was going to be over. She ached inside and out and she knew the damage was permanent.

“Stop.” A quiet voice said, and the woodsman turned to see a wizard standing there.

“She killed Snot Brite.” The woodsman said, not moving.

“I know,” The wizard replied, “but you can’t kill her yet.” The woodsman looked at the wizard.

“Are you going to fuck her?” He asked.

“Well and truly.” The wizard said, with an ominous smile. The woodsman lowered his axe, and the wizard raised his wand.

“You have attacked Snot Brite just because of your desire to be the most sexy.” Merlin said to the Queen, who was blinking rapidly. She was crying, but most likely that was because of the cum in her eyes. “I have decided that you will spend the rest of your days in a unicorns body,” Merlin continued, “but you will remember everything about being the Queen and what you have done.” He smiled. “You will not be able to communicate with humans though.” He waved his wand and the magic started to take effect. “I will make you the sexiest unicorn on Earth.” He said, and with a final crackle the Queen had changed into a unicorn. There was a light ring of fur around her horn that looked a bit like a crown.

“Is that really a bad enough punishment?” The woodsman asked, trying to show enough respect. You should try hard not to upset someone who could turn your balls into blowfish at a whim. The wizard smiled.

“Oh yes,” he said as the new unicorn struggled to get used to four legs. “Unicorns are usually monogamous.” The woodsman looked confused. “They only have one partner.” He explained, and the woodsman nodded his understanding. “That is because each male that has sex with a female unicorn during her season will sire a baby.” 

“OK.” The woodsman didn’t see the point. Yet.

“If there is only one baby the horn grows out through the birth canal,” Merlin said, “but if there is more than one then the horns of the others pierce the side of the unicorn slowly from the inside and they die the most horrible death.” The woodsman shuddered. “This unicorn is in season now, and she is so sexy that there won’t be a male unicorn in the forest that hasn’t mated with her by morning. Give it a couple of months and she will look like a porcupine.” The ex Queen neighed in fright, and ran off into the night. There was a thunderous roar of approaching hooves. The woodsman looked at Merlin with respect.

“That has got to be the most awful possible way to die.” He said. “Is it true?”

“Yes,” Merlin assured him, “do you know that’s why an erection is called a horn sometimes? A man once saw a pregnant unicorn and said ‘that unicorn has a really big horn’, well the rest is history.”

“Shall we go to the cottage?” The woodsman asked, and the wizard nodded.

Elsie was riding the magic dildo again. It was true, she did become more beautiful each time it shot it’s cum in her. 

“Ask me about the Queen.” The dildo said.

“What about the Queen?” Elsie asked.

“The Queen is gone and she won’t be back.” The dildo said. Elsie considered this.

“I’ll just have to look after you then.” She said. "I'm sure William won't mind."

“Oh yeah.”

“I can’t help her.” Merlin said sadly. “The poison is too strong.” There was a collective gasp of horror from the assembled group.

“Who can help her then?” Rock asked.

“The poison can only be reversed by love’s first kiss.” Merlin said. “No, not you lot,” he said as the pervs scrambled to be first, “it has to be a Prince.”

“I know a dog named Prince.” Squirty said hopefully.

“That would just be love’s first lick.” Cunnie said.

“Oh, yeah.”

“Where are we going to find a Prince?" Noisy asked quietly.

“It shouldn’t be too hard.” Merlin said. “There was a gay sex scene in the last chapter, so this is a fairy tale, and in a fairy tale there is always a Prince to save the Princess.” 

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, all we have to do is wait.”

The unicorn that had once been the Queen had been cornered, and had already been mounted by at least ten males. And there were a lot more waiting for their turn. She knew she was doomed, and she couldn’t even enjoy the sex. There were ants crawling all over her and biting her anywhere where she was tender, she wondered why.

It took two days for a Prince to find them. All of Snot Brite’s friends sat in vigil around her naked body waiting.

“Hello,” a voice finally called, “is this the place with the sleeping Princess? Or is it the one in the tower with the long hair? I get so confused.”

“This,” Merlin said, turning to the Prince, “is the one where the Princess has been poisoned and needs to be woken by loves first kiss.”

“Ah, OK.” The Prince replied. “Where is she?” The crowd parted, and the Prince saw Snot Brite on the table.

“Nice tits.” The Prince said, and he walked confidently to the table, leaned over and kissed Snot Brite firmly on the lips. The assembled group held their breath. 

Three minutes later the assembled group was turning blue. Nothing had happened. The Prince looked confused.

“Why hasn’t she woken up?” He asked. Merlin finally breathed.

“I don’t know.” He said.

“Maybe,” the woodsman said, gasping for air, “it needs to be loves first fuck? The poison was actually applied at that end.” Merlin thought.

“You could be right.” He said to the woodsman. “Give her a poke will you?” He said to the Prince.

“What with all these people here?” The Prince asked.

“Yes.” The Prince thought for a moment, but she was a real looker, so what the hell? He took out his rather small cock sheepishly, and positioned himself it the entrance to Snot Brite’s pussy.

“Hurry.” Someone gasped, still not breathing, but the Prince hesitated, rather embarrassed. ET shoved him from behind, and the Prince was fucking Snot Brite’s inert form.

“Bit of a dead root.” The Prince quipped, but all he got were frowns. “Hard room.” The Prince muttered. The he felt the cum rising. “Oh, yeah.” The Prince said, and streams of loves first Prince cum filled Snot Brite. She opened her eyes and there was a sudden group intake of breath.

“Thank fuck for that.” Shitty said, “I was about to pass out.” There was cheering and rejoicing, and the wizard made mead out of water for them all to share.

“Are you going to come to my castle to marry me?” The Prince asked a still naked and celebrating Snot Brite. She looked at him carefully.




Snot Brite and the Seven Pervs Ch. 06



“You are rich aren’t you?” She said.

“Yes.”

“Hmmm, but you do have a little dick.” She said. He blushed.

“It’s average.” He protested.

“Not around here it isn’t.” Merlin said, and all the celebrating people suddenly got naked.

“But will you marry me?” The Prince asked.

“No.” Snot Brite said. “But you are welcome to join the orgy whenever you want.” The Prince smiled.

“That’s good enough.” He said.

“Got a diamond?” Merlin asked, and the Prince nodded. “Then you’re going to love this bit.”

The End.

So, you ask, what was the moral of the story? Well first I have to point out that it really had fuck all morals. But if there is a message somewhere it would be that the girls don’t always go for the rich man, and if they say size doesn’t matter they are most likely just trying to make you feel good. The reality is it does.