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Public Nudity, or Decent Exposure

By: Cal Y. Pygia



It's uncommon, in my experience, at least, to see someone nude in public. It's rare, in fact, to spot someone who's even partially nude.

I can count the times I've seen such a display on one hand. Although I'd prefer to see more such spectacles--the more, the merrier--I guess having seen but a few instances of bare boobs and bare butts (I've never been fortunate enough to see a bare cunt or, for that matter, a bare cock and bare balls) makes the few that I have seen all that more memorable.

It's surprising to me, though, that more people, women especially, don't seem to want to strut their stuff to maximum effect. One would think that anyone with a body like that of Pamela Anderson or Jennifer Love Hewitt would welcome full exposure. Unfortunately, such does not seem to be the case.

My first sight of someone naked in public was of a couple who'd apparently had been caught in a thunderstorm while fucking in the woods. My parents warned me and my siblings not to look. "Hide your eyes!" we were instructed. Of course, we did nothing of the sort, and, consequently, got quite an eyeful of bouncing boobs, swaying cock, and jiggling balls.

My next sight of naked flesh was granted to me by the girlfriend of a friend who was driving us to Ocean City, Maryland. As we came to within half an hour's distance from our destination, she decided to change, in front of all of the rest of us. She was the only woman in our company, and, hardly out of her teens, she must have received quite a thrill by becoming not merely the focus of our attention, but also the center of the entire universe. Our eyes were focused on her maidenly tits, which were of the sleekness, firmness, and buoyancy that are possible only for the young and beautiful.

I was later treated to the sight of a young woman without panties who, on a blustery day, pumped gasoline into her sports car while the wind played havoc with her mini-skirt. As she tended to the business at hand, she affected to remain as unconcerned as any other motorist who'd stopped to top off his or gas tank, despite her skirt's fluttering about her hips to reveal the full, round globes of her sleek, firm buttocks to every Tom, Dick, and Harry. It's impossible to suppose that, with the breeze fanning her bare fanny, she was unaware that her bottom was on display for all the world to admire. Obviously, she'd dressed in this provocative manner intentionally, planning to be provocative. She succeeded.

My fourth encounter with deliberate nudity was at Mission Beach in San Diego, California. A woman in a thong bikini, apparently having developed an appetite while bathing in the sun, left the beach and the boardwalk to enter a fast-food restaurant, where she stood in line, waiting her turn to order, purchasing a hamburger, French fries, and a diet soda. All the while, she appeared to be oblivious of the stares, some indignant, some embarrassed, but many others admiring, of her fellow diners, a few of whom were minor children.

I also saw a man rollerblading on the same boardwalk, while wearing nothing but a gold lamé jockstrap. In addition, I spied a couple of young men, quite tan and handsome, walking together near Lake Havasu City's London Bridge, wearing the same article of clothing, but in white cotton, rather than gold lamé. Most likely, these men were gay, as no straight man is likely ever to wear such a garment--at least, not as his only costume--in public places (or, barring college or high school locker rooms, private ones, either, for that matter).

Other than these displays, I've seen only the tops of women's buttocks, including just the uppermost extreme of their nether cleavages, when they've sat down and their waistbands have not been quite tight-fitting enough to prevent a backward sagging of the seats of their pants. Although such glimpses are unexpected, as all serendipitous experiences are, and they are mildly tantalizing, they tease more than they please, rather like the projection of a woman's nipples through the thin fabric of her tee-shirt or halter top. One is grateful for, and appreciative of, what's shared, but one is not satisfied.

Were I the ruler of the world, all men and women would go naked from the day they were born, and they would be laid out nude in their caskets on the day of their funerals. I'm a firm, even usually swollen, believer in nudity for all. Unfortunately, Barack Obama is the leader of the world--or, if the mass media can be believed (which is very doubtful, indeed), the leader, at least, of the free world, and he has not yet decreed that every American, let alone every citizen of the world, go about always in the altogether. (I suspect that this is merely because he himself has a small, if not tiny, penis.)

Therefore, I do what any other all-America, red-blooded voyeur, denied a sufficiency of exhibitionism, would do: I turn to the Internet to supply the tits and asses and twats (and, in my case, as an equal-opportunity voyeur, the cocks and balls) that, otherwise, I would have to do without. I can't help it. I love skin. Nudity is a beautiful thing, especially when "private parts" are "secretly" revealed, rather than concealed, in public places (and even if the apparent secrecy is actually more feigned than real, as long as the covert display looks authentic).

With these confessions in mind, I'd like to lay out, so to speak, some of the criteria that I find useful in evaluating Internet sites' exhibitions of "public nudity," in the hope of advancing a connoisseurship of such exhibitions among aficionados of such delightful displays. Readers are free to disagree, of course, and to offer their own views. My observations, as Michael Savage is wont to say, in an altogether different context, are, after all, only "one man's opinion" (and a gay man's opinion, at that), but, hey, if we want to advance an appreciation of the fine art of exhibitionism, we have to begin somewhere, right? (In addition, writing this essay gives me the chance to ogle some fine naked ladies online as I establish and apply my criteria for determining what's hot and what's not with regard to depictions of public nudity.)

Let me start with what I don't like. For me, to be hot, public nudity photos have to look as if the model is actually exposing, or flashing, herself in public. Pictures in which a woman is mixing with pedestrians on a crowded street or in a busy shopping mall or store while everyone around her seems oblivious to her presence aren't what I'm looking for, even if the model herself is stunning.

Why not? There could be a reason for the blasé reaction of the passersby. For example, Europeans' ideas about nudity are, or can be, quite different than those of Americans. For many Europeans, nudity is no big deal. It's the natural state, and, if anything, it's clothing that's a bit bizarre. However, I'm a red-white-and-blue-blooded, all-American man (albeit more gay than is the norm among my fellow red-white-and-blue-blooded, all-American men), and I like to ogle women who appear naked in public because, in America, at least, such behavior is taboo, and it is because it's taboo that it's also titillating. When people are matter-of-fact about the presence of a nude woman among them, well, their nonchalant attitude reduces the pictures' erotic appeal.

For the same reason, if the model is unselfconsciously or openly naked, the pictures are less than invigorating. She doesn't necessarily have to be ashamed or embarrassed about showing her tits and ass to the world, but her expression should suggest, at least, a modicum of naughtiness, as if she's aware that she's doing something she shouldn't be doing, something a little risky, even, something that could land her tits and ass in jail, along with her twat. She should have the decency, at the very least, to smile, as if to say, What I'm doing is naughty and forbidden, but, hey, it's fun, too, and, besides, guys, I know that you like what you see and don't, for a moment, share the socially correct view that what I'm doing represents "indecent exposure."

Some photos show the model naked, but, although she's standing, sitting, squatting, or otherwise enjoying the Great American Outdoors, she's far from the madding crowd, as Thomas Hardy might have put it. In fact, unless one counts the deer and the antelope, she's pretty much alone. There are no prying eyes of the homo sapiens sort anywhere to be found, so, even though she's in a meadow or a forest or a swamp or the desert or wherever, its arguable as to whether she's nude in public at all.

I admire women's backsides. To me, they are the best feminine feature, bar none (with breasts a close second). However, for public nudity, the face is more important than the fanny in creating the illusion that one is checking out a gorgeous gal who is naked in public. I want to see her face, and I want her to be smiling, and I want it to appear that she knows that she's naked in public and that she knows that being naked in public is, on some level, in her society, at least, considered "wrong." I want her to be a bit of a bad girl, and that requires her not only to be aware that she is being naughty but also that she be aware that I, the voyeur, am aware that she's aware, and, alas, as pretty as most feminine fannies are, they haven't learned, as yet, to convey the finer nuances of subjectivity.

Too exaggerated a pose also fails to enter the arousal zone of my Public Nudity Erotic Scale for the simple reason, again, that a woman is unlikely to pose like a flamingo, balanced upon one leg, with her head down, if she's nude in public, nor is she likely to be executing cartwheels or standing on her head or squatting as if she's about to relieve her bladder all over a parking lot or a sidewalk or a street. If she's really an exhibitionist, she's going to be careful, she's going to be circumspect, she's going to be guarded and vigilant. In short, she's going to be practicing the techniques, tactics, and maneuvers I describe in "How To Flash Your Tits, Cunt or Ass," which fine article is also available on this site, expressly for your reading pleasure. 

Although there will (or should) be others around her (she is, after all, supposed to be flashing in public, which presupposes an audience), she shouldn't be escorted by others. She should be by herself. I mean, what exhibitionist goes out to flash others while she is accompanied by an entourage (unless maybe she's Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, or Janet Jackson)?

As you can see, I've given this matter a lot--some might say, too much--thought. What can I say? I like public nudity.

I've laid down a few rules for what shouldn't appear in photographs that depict women nude in public. What should such pictures incorporate?

As it turns out the inclusive elements are easier to cite than the exclusive ones. First of all, the model must be a looker. Whether blonde, brunette, redhead, Asian, Caucasian, African-American, or Native American, she should be beautiful, both of face and of figure. (Personally, I prefer the wholesome girl-next-door look of spicy naughtiness mixed with saucy niceness, but, then, hey, I'm gay, so real men should take my opinion in this matter, at least, with a half ton of salt. What's essential, whether a voyeur is gay or straight, male, female, or shemale, is that the nude be drop-dead gorgeous. Her body should embody beauty.)

A lot of the other pluses are just the opposites of the minuses already mentioned: the model should smile, and her smile should say, What I'm doing is naughty and forbidden, but, hey, it's fun, too; although she should be alone in the sense that she's unescorted, she should also be surrounded by others, and her audience should regard her nudity as being a bit risqué and a little bawdy; and, finally, she should adopt and maintain a posture that looks natural rather than affected.

A few other positives also come to mind, which are not merely the contraries to the aforementioned negatives. One is that the outdoors should be scenic. Why should milady be slumming when she could be enjoying the beauty of the local park or the crowded streets of a quaint mountainside village? I want, most of the time, to see blue skies, green fields, and bright flowers. If sand must be shown, then, as a rule, make it a beach, not the desert.

Being nude in public isn't a right (at least, not in most places); it's a challenge, accepted not out of a sense of duty but as a dare. The model should suggest that she knows that she could be caught red-assed, as it were, and hauled off to jail. She should be sassy and shy, daring and wary, innocent and naughty, and wholesome and lewd, all at the same time, and, most of all, she should do all this with a coy look and a saucy smile.