5 comments/ 29025 views/ 3 favorites Lesbian Test Ch. 01 By: BOSTONFICTIONWRITER Joe and I were hanging out over Kathy's house, again. We were always over her house. Her parents were doctors and they were never home. Besides, she always had good stuff to eat and plenty of beer in the fridge to drink. Now, that we are all adults and done with college, the three of us relaxed over a few beers, a couple of joints, lots of laughs, and from the stress of having to cram and take final exams. We've been friends since childhood and Joe and I have been trying and dying to get in Kathy's pants since forever. Only, going to three different colleges, albeit schools in the same state of Massachusetts, life has taken us in different directions and we haven't hung out as much as we used to before enlightening our minds and broadening our horizons with higher education, binge drinking, and naked parties. Now, that we were done with school, we were falling back into our old habit of chillin' together while goofin' about stuff. We knew this period in our lives wouldn't last either. Our parents were eager for us to begin paying back our student loans, join the work force and get jobs, and move out of their house. She always considered us as BFF's, best friends forever, but she has a sick and rigid rule that she'd never date friends, especially best friends because, she said, sexual relationships ruin friendships and she'd lose us as friends, blah, blah. So, what does that rule mean? If you don't have sex with your friends, who else are you going to have sex with, your enemies? She said our friendship is more important than casual sex, yeah, yeah, that's her opinion and not our opinion. Joe and I firmly believe that casual sex is more important than friendship, especially when you haven't been laid in a while. Moreover, Joe and I are of the mindset that casual sex will bring us even closer as friends, best friends forever. In the way that she feels about it, it made me wish we weren't friends. As far as we were concerned the best friends to have are friends with benefits. Yeah, baby. We watched her develop from a Tom boy to a beautiful girl and now into a hot, desirable woman. The tall, thin gawky girl we once knew with pimples, braces, and glasses now has round womanly hips, full kissable lips, and C cup tits. Ever since she turned the legal age of 18-years-old, nearly five painfully long and horribly horny years ago, we've wanted to bang her. Joe and I constantly have sexual thoughts and dream sexually about her. We openly discuss our sexual dreams with one another, that is, whenever she's not around. We're a couple of pathetic losers. Instead of going out and getting women of our own, all we do is sit around, drink beer, and talk about wishing we could have sex with Kathy. We're enamored with her. Captivated by her beauty, intelligence, quick wit, fun sense of humor, and charm, we both want no one else but her. Ironically, we both love her. Besides, with the long history we have with her, who better to share our naked bodies with than her? Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, I find myself doodling her curvaceous body and writing her name everywhere and anywhere. I love her. I really love her. Only, is it love or is it sexual lust? Do I want to marry her or do I just want to fuck her? I don't know. Sex gets in the way of my thoughts. All I think about is her naked. She's so damn pretty. I love everything about her, the way she talks, the way she walks, even the way she sneezes and blows her nose. She's so cute I could just eat her and I really want to eat her if I could. Alas, there's no way we can have her. There's no way she'd lift up her skirt, pull down her panties, bend over and bend her rule to date and have sex with either of us. There's just no way she'd give us a quickie, a blowjob or even a hand job. She's not that kind of girl. She's sweet. She's innocent. No doubt, she's a virgin. Only, I needed to come up with a strategy to trick her. Yeah, I know she's my friend, but what are friends for if you can't use and abuse them? Better you treat a friend that way than a stranger. Right? Don't mind me; I'm horny. Based on the premise that only fools can devise foolproof plans, Joe and I put our heads together. Since we are not only two, proud and self-professed fools but also known for our foolishness within our circle of friends and family, we devised a foolproof plan to get a little honey, hopefully, from our little honey, Kathy. I mean, she's gorgeous. She has long, lush, blonde hair, big, bright blue eyes, stands 5'7" tall and weighs a slender but curvaceous 120 pounds with all her clothes. When you see her dressed, jumping around, and bending over in her little, skin tight cheerleading outfit with its too short skirt and plunging neckline, as we did the whole cold and lonely football season long, definitely, she's a ten and definitely we want her. I decided to test the waters and the best place to catch a big fish was inside her own fishing hole, namely her house and expressly her room. I figured she'd be more comfortable there allowing me to catch her off guard. I figured she wouldn't notice all my hooks, lines, and sinkers or in this case, stinkers. Since, it is a stinky thing to abuse the trust of your friend, just to get some much needed relief and hot sex. Only, I can't help myself. I'm a horny, hormonal guy who is raging with testosterone and in the bedroom of the girl of my dreams. Matter of fact the drawer where she keeps her panties and bras is just an arm's length away and as soon as she leaves the room for the bathroom, Joe and I will go through her lingerie draw as we always do whenever she leaves us alone in her room. "So, Kathy," I said casting out my line and ready to reel her in with the first nibble, "are you dating anyone?" "Nope, I decided to concentrate on school and focus on my GPA. I didn't want to get tied down with any one person until after graduation." "You were smart to do that," said Joe. I knew by his comment that he was as relieved that I was that she had taken herself off the dating merry-go-round. Now, we had a level playing field with no other guys to distract her focus from the real man meat, us. "Then, you have someone in mind that you want to latch onto and maybe live with after you graduate?" I hid my true feelings about her behind a carefree smile. Only, as soon as I voiced my question about her living with another, jealous by the thought of it, I imagined her living with me. How perfect that would be having a steady diet of caught catfish, namely Kathy, twenty-four, seven? I'd fuck her morning, noon, and night. Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, I wrote her name across my mind while thinking of her standing naked with outstretched arms welcoming me home from work or from the hardware store, the bank or just getting the mail or taking out the trash. Wow! My life would be perfect with her in it. Fuck Joe. I want her. "No, there's no one that I like or know well enough to want to live with together." Pick me! Pick me! My brain was trying to psychically alter her decision about not dating friends and changing her mind to date me. Kathy, please pick me. "So, you're not serious about anyone?" I asked hoping to God she'd say no. I looked over at Joe and he was just as on edge of his seat as I was with the anticipation of her answer. "No, like you or maybe unlike you," she said with a sexy laugh, "I've been too busy cramming for exams to scope out the opposite sex. It's too much of a distraction when you are trying to study. There's plenty of time for that later," she said with a casual wave of her hand. "I'm sure, once I get out in the workforce, I'll meet plenty of guys." I cast my line in her direction hoping to hook her. I hoped she'd go for the bait. "You're not lesbian, are you?" I know, I know, it sounded as crass as I meant it to sound. Trust me; I had ulterior motives, so I just blurted out the question hoping not for the worst but expecting the best. Now is as good of time as any to begin her lesbian test. We were all a little bit high from drinking beer and smoking a little weed. Why not go for it? Certainly, she was well worth the risk of losing her as a friend and gaining her as a fuck buddy. I mean, I truly wouldn't want to lose her friendship. Besides Joe, she was my best friend. She was someone that I felt comfortable talking about anything with and it worked out well that she was a sensitive chick who liked sports as much as I did. When I needed to talk about something really serious, you know, the sensitive stuff, like when Tom Brady, the quarterback for the New England Patriots, blew out his knee and was out for the season, she wouldn't think me a pussy when I started crying, you know. Yet, I really wanted to fuck her and it was worth losing a shoulder to cry on for a couple of tits to suck on, if you know what I mean. "Freddie, what kind of question is that?" She melted me with her baby blue eyes and showed me her perfect pearly whites with a warm smile. "You know I'm not a lesbian? You're such a goof." She looked at Joe. "I know you're a part of this, too. You two are always conspiring to get me naked and in bed." She looked at the pair of panty peeking out of her lingerie drawer that I had left ajar when she excused herself to use the bathroom. "And stay out of my underwear," she scolded. "You're a goof, too," she said to Joe with a laugh. "You're both goofs, but I love the both of you" she said with a motherly look. "Only, not in the way that you are thinking and hoping, I'm sorry, but, I don't love you in that way," she said putting up both her hands like mini stop signs. We were always laughing. We always had a good time whenever the three of us were together just hanging out and talking about stuff. Only, if I couldn't have her all to myself, it would be so awesome if we could have a threesome with Kathy. That would be so wicked cool. Having a threesome with Kathy, my dream woman would give me the kind of lifelong memory that would carry me through my old age. When they put me in a nursing home room with another old guy and with a woman across the hall from my room named Francis or Edna or Mary who continually wants to play strip poker and makes a nuisance of herself, I'll just smile and think of the time that Joe and I had a threesome with Kathy. There is no one that I'd want to have a threesome with than with my best friend Joe and my best friend Kathy. Now that's not to say that I'm gay and want to do Joe or that I want to Joe to do me. We both just want Kathy and if she can't be with just one of us because she is afraid of hurting one or the other's feelings by not being intimate with them, maybe she can be with the both of us. If it takes the two of us to get her, so be it. I imagined bending her over and fucking her doggy style while she sucked on Joe's cock. Then, I imagined us switching with Joe fucking her doggy style while she sucked on my cock. Ah, the possibilities were endless with one woman and two guys. A threesome gave new meaning to the sixty-nine position. We could switch off when one guy tired. We'd give her a full day of orgasmic pleasure and sexual satisfaction. No doubt, we could make this innocent girl a worldly woman. I figured the reason why she wouldn't jump at having sex with two guys was because she was a virgin or was very inexperience when it comes to sex. Yeah, that has to be it. There's no other reason. That crap about not dating friends was crap, as far as Joe and I was concerned. "I do? Now, how would I know you're not a lesbian? You've been away at college for four long years and living in a dorm with another woman. Maybe, you figured having a lesbian affair with your roommate was convenient and not as messy as having a relationship with a guy. Maybe you wanted to dine in with a woman instead of doing take out with a man. Besides, maybe you figured, who would know?" I said allowing her to take a bit of line and swim out with the dolphins. "You could have switched teams. Maybe, now, you prefer a catcher's mitt to a baseball bat. Batter up," I said swinging for the fences. "Please spare me the lame analogies, Freddie. English was never your strong suit. Accounting suits you better and best you stick with assets and liabilities instead of analogies and imagery," she said with a chuckle. "Of course you know I'm not a lesbian. Therefore, I don't understand your question. I don't get why you're even going there. Only, knowing the both of you as well as I do, I figure you guys have something up your sleeves. Yeah, you're up to something alright and, as usual, it's probably something dumb." "It was just a simple question, Kath, and you're getting all defensive. Your defensive posture makes me wonder even more if you prefer women to men. I'm sorry to say, Kath, but I think you're a lesbian," I said with a similar face that ex-Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld had when he reported to Congress over his findings that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction. Maybe I should have used President Bush's face when he lied and told the American public that the economy was strong and growing. Nah, maybe I should have chosen someone else because it was too difficult to maintain a straight face. Perhaps, O. J. Simpson's face would have been easier to keep serious and to keep from laughing when he said, "I didn't do it. I'm innocent." or "These aren't my gloves. They don't fit me." Yeah, I'll have to remember that in the future. O. J. would have been a better face to imagine when I'm lying through my teeth and telling tall tales. "Listen hot shot, we've been friends forever. You know I'm not a lesbian for gosh sakes," she said again only this time without giving me her sexy smile. "I don't know what you mean by asking me if I'm a lesbian. It's insulting and I resent this inquisition." Oh, oh, she was getting mad. Only, I still needed to push her in a corner before coming in for the kill. It was fun playing with Kathy. It was fun getting her going to the brink and catching her before she fell from her normally personable personality to killer Kath. "Well, I've never seen you with a guy and every time Joe or I ask you out on a date, you say that you don't date friends," I said shrugging my shoulders and looking over at Joe. "What else are we to think?" If I could have, I would have slapped Joe a high five at that point. She was taking the bait and I knew she'd be taking out line. I was wearing her down and wearing her out. She was ripe and ready for my twisted and convoluted logic, as to why she should sleep with me. "I'm not a lesbian, Freddie. I have plenty of friends who are lesbian only I'm not one of them." "So, you admit then that you prefer hanging around lesbians." "Freddie...stop." "I mean, you're my friend and I'd date you in a second. Wouldn't you date Kathy, Joe?" "I'd be all over her in a flash," said Joe. "Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of...flash," she said laughing. "So, maybe if you dated one of us, then—" "Well, I won't. That's my rule and I don't care if you think that I'm a lesbian because I won't date either of you and you know that about me," she said stiffening her posture before throwing back her head and tossing her luscious long, blonde hair. I don't know what it is about women when they toss back their hair like she has a habit of doing, but I find that so intoxicatingly and erotically sexual. Maybe it's because I imagine her doing that before removing her wad of chewing gum in readiness to suck my cock. Maybe, my imagination gets the better of me in that regard, but it is so erotically sexy to watch her beautiful hair cascade up, away, and back in golden highlights behind her and fall in a practiced semblance of order whenever she does that. I just want to kiss her before putting a hand behind her blonde head and pushing her mouth down on my engorged cock. Suck it, baby, but before you do, flip your hair back again one more time for me. Oh, yeah, that's it. "Freddie? Are you okay? You look a little weird," she said nudging my foot with her delicate foot. "What? Yeah, sorry, I was, uhm, just thinking about what I wanted to say next. Oh, yeah, I know now what I wanted to say. We haven't seen you date any guy...or woman. What are we supposed to think, Kath? What else are we supposed to think other than the suspicion that you are lesbian?" "Since I've been away at college, I hang with a different crowd of friends than you and Joe do. You know that. We've talked about the people we hang out with on campus. You have no idea who I date, just as I have no idea who you date." "I think she's a lesbian whispered Joe to me loud enough for Kathy to hear." Turning the table on us, she shot him a look that turned into her famous sexy smile. "You two could be gay for all I know," she said laughing and looking from me to Joe and back at me again. "You're not gay are you? You two haven't turned gay on me, have you? Now that I think of it, I haven't seen either of you with a woman." She looked around her room, "I do need my room redecorated since I'll be living at home again. Maybe you two homos can help me chose my color palette and make me some draperies," she said laughing. "We do love working with fabric," said Joe. "I see a New England Patriot's theme for your bedroom, Sweets," said Joe putting a hand on his hip and tossing out a hand with a limp wrist. "How do you feel about the colors, red, white, and blue? Or we can go with a Boston Red Sox theme with lots of red and a portrait of the green monster on that wall. Or we can go Boston Celtics green throughout the whole room. There's always the Boston Bruins of yellow, black and white." I gave her a smile and then gave Joe a wink and he blew me a kiss. "Spare me," she said. "For sure you two aren't gay. You'd make for horrible interior decorators." "Well, it's a stupid rule," I said wishing she'd change her mind about going out with me or, God forbid, Joe. I figured that if she went out with Joe, at least he'd tell me what it was like to be with her. If only she knew I haven't dated anyone in a while. I'm still pining over her. I'm still hoping we can get together. Just as does Joe, I love her. He loves her. We both love her. "Getting sexual with a friend is the fastest way to ruin a friendship," she said in a way that sounded rehearsed and tired. Surely, she didn't believe that anymore. That rule is so sophomoric, now that we are sophisticated and college educated adults. "So, what about your future husband?" I gave her more lead, but I knew I had her. She wasn't going anywhere. It was almost time to reel her in and net her. In the next chapter Kathy agrees to take the lesbian test. * Thank you for reading my story. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Please take a moment to vote, make a public comment, and/or give me feedback. Your support is why I write. Your feedback will motivate me to write a better story the next time. If you haven't already, please take moment to add me and/or this story or any other of my stories to your list of favorites. Thanks, Freddie, Bostonfictionwriter. To be continued... Lesbian Test Ch. 02 "I think she's a lesbian whispered Joe to me loud enough for Kathy to hear." Turning the table on us, she shot him a look that turned into her famous sexy smile. "You two could be gay for all I know," she said laughing and looking from me to Joe and back at me again. "You're not gay are you? You two haven't turned gay on me, have you? Now that I think of it, I haven't seen either of you with a woman." She looked around her room, "I do need my room redecorated since I'll be living at home again. Maybe you two homos can help me chose my color palette and make me some draperies," she said laughing. "We do love working with fabric," said Joe. "I see a New England Patriot's theme for your bedroom, Sweets," said Joe putting a hand on his hip and tossing out a hand with a limp wrist. "How do you feel about the colors, red, white, and blue? Or we can go with a Boston Red Sox theme with lots of red and a portrait of the green monster on that wall. Or we can go Boston Celtics green throughout the whole room. There's always the Boston Bruins of yellow, black and white." I gave her a smile and then gave Joe a wink and he blew me a kiss. "Spare me," she said. "For sure you two aren't gay. You'd make for horrible interior decorators." "Well, it's a stupid rule," I said wishing she'd change her mind about going out with me or, God forbid, Joe. I figured that if she went out with Joe, at least he'd tell me what it was like to be with her. If only she knew I haven't dated anyone in a while. I'm still pining over her. I'm still hoping we can get together. Just as does Joe, I love her. He loves her. We both love her. "Getting sexual with a friend is the fastest way to ruin a friendship," she said in a way that sounded rehearsed and tired. Surely, she didn't believe that anymore. That rule is so sophomoric, now that we are sophisticated and college educated adults. "So, what about your future husband?" I gave her more lead, but I knew I had her. She wasn't going anywhere. It was almost time to reel her in and net her. "Future husband? What about him? What do you mean by that?" "Won't you have to be friends with your future husband first before you marry him?" "Sure, of course, we'd have to start off as friends first before we graduated to being lovers. Yeah, sure, definitely, I'd have to like one another as a friend first with whomever I marry, of course." "Exactly my point, Kath, exactly my point," I said pontificating my point by pointing my index finger at her. "It's just like the three of us now. We're all friends, good friends, and best friends forever. We should be your lovers." I looked over at Joe. "With the friendship we three have, we'd make great lovers." "Yeah, but that's different." She looked from me to Joe and back again. "I'm not into threesomes. I'm a one guy at a time kind of woman. Besides, I've known you guys since Miss Jane's room in kindergarten. It'd be weird to date either of you. I can't even imagine kissing one of you guys never mind having sex with either one of you." "Well, that's a hurtful thing to say, Kath," I said. "I'm crushed," I said putting a hand to my forehead and looking despondent in the way that Rudolph Valentino or Charlie Chaplin did in the silent movies of old. "No, I don't mean it that way," she said. "C'mon, you know what I mean. Stop being so sensitive, Freddie. Dating either of you would be like dating my brother." "So, you've dated your brother?" I looked at Joe and smiled. "I had no idea. Do you want to tell us about all the incestuous details?" "Don't even go there, Freddie. That's not funny. That's sick. I've never had any sexual thoughts for my brother." "I think you're a lesbian," said Joe. "Only, maybe you don't even know it. Maybe, that's why you don't admit you're lesbian." "That's ridiculous, Joe. I am not a lesbian," she said in a tone that told us that we were beginning to push her buttons a little. "You guys are crazy if you think I like pussy over cock and prefer licking a pussy than fucking and sucking a cock." It was so erotic to hear our all grown up and now sexy Kathy say the word cock. That was the first time I ever heard her virginal mouth utter the word cock. Suddenly, I imagined her dialogue filled with the cock word whenever speaking to me and about me...cock, cock, cock. Now and forevermore, Kathy would always be synonymous with cock and especially with my cock. Immediately, I started getting an erection thinking of Kathy thinking of me whenever she said the word...cock. "So, are you sure you're not a lesbian? Maybe, Joe is right, Kath. Maybe, you don't even know you're a lesbian." I joined in Joe's little antagonistic game to push her into taking the lesbian test and I knew she would agree to take it, any minute now. "I would know if I were a lesbian, Freddie. That's something any woman would know. Besides, I've never had those sexual thoughts towards women. I like men too much. There's just no way that I'd sleep with a woman. It doesn't appeal to me in any sense of the word." She met my stare, "Read my lips, I'm not attracted to women. I'm attracted to men." Suddenly, the man's man, the macho male, the manly male, the men's song played through my head...'men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men.' "Are you sure you're not lesbian?" I gave her a long look. "Because now that I look at you more closely, maybe because I haven't seen you in a while, you do look a little lesbian to me. Look closely at her face, Joe," I said turning to Joe for support. "Doesn't she look a little lesbian?" "Freddie, knock it off. I don't look lesbian." "Yeah," said Joe staring at Kathy's face. "Now that you mention it, she does look a little lesbian to me, too. I think she changed teams while away at college. Our hot Kathy has gone to the other side and is now competing with us for women." "You two are morons. You're just trying to get me going. Whatever your lame game is, it won't work. Yes, I'm sure I'm not a lesbian. I would know if I were a lesbian," she said looking a bit nervous by my inquisitive stare. "Besides, what the Hell does a lesbian even look like anyway? You can't tell that someone is a lesbian just by looking at them. How dare you tell me that I look a little lesbian to you, Freddie? I don't know what your angle is, but that's so lame, Freddie. It's ridiculous for you to say that I look like a lesbian, Freddie," she said taking out her compact mirror and staring at herself. "I don't look lesbian, Freddie," she said closing her compact and staring across the room at me. Oh, oh, any time she finishes off her sentences with my name is when her fuse is lit and she's starting to get mad. I needed to be careful with questioning her, now. I didn't want to ruin our little exchange and not have her take the lesbian test. Certainly, I didn't want her to eject us from her room and her home under the pretense that she had stuff to do, when in fact, we were annoying the shit out of her. I needed to take it more slowly. I needed to ease up on her a little bit. I needed for her to take the lesbian test. "C'mon, be honest," said Joe. "You can tell us if you're a lesbian. It won't matter to us. We're best friends. Besides, we like lesbians," he said looking at me and smiling. "Lesbians are cool, especially when they are hot looking lesbians like you." "Yeah, lesbians are cool, Kathy. You can tell us if you march in the Gay Day parade. It's different now than it used to be. So, you can come out of the closet and declare your lesbianism and embrace your sisters and admit that you belong to the secret society of lesbian sisterhood. So long as we can watch, that is," I said punching Joe in the shoulder and laughing. "We like to watch." "Do you have any lesbian photos of you with your roommate that you can show us? Can you give us some details what it's like to make love to a woman," said Joe. "You guys watch Jerry Springer way too much," she said with a laugh while looking at us. "I'm not a lesbian, you guys, and you know I'm not a lesbian. You're just trying to get me going. This is all just one of your little games of let's pick on Kathy and let's get Kathy going. You just want to get me mad so that I'll wrestle you and you'll accidentally feel me up like all the other times we wrestled. Yeah, that's it. You just want to wrestle." She looked from me to Joe. "Well I don't wrestle anymore. I'm too much the lady for that, now," she said stiffening her posture and suddenly looking more mature. "Gees, Kath, you say that like there's something wrong with feeling you up and just because my hand got caught in your bra once and my other hand was stuck in your panty the last time we wrestled doesn't mean that I was trying to get a cheap feel. You've hurt my feelings, Kathy. I was only trying out a new wrestling hold on you." "Yeah, sure, Freddie, you were trying out a new hold called groping. Fuck you." "I accept your apology, Kath," I said. "If you think I apologized, Freddie, accept this then as my real apology," she said flashing me the finger. "Yes," I said raising both hands over my head and giving Joe the high five. "I'm still number one with Kathy." "You're unbelievable, Freddie." "So, what about you and that girl at summer camp?" "Summer camp? What girl?" "You know the one. Remember? You were lonely," I said. "You were horny," said Joe. "You got into your parents' liquor cabinet and took some booze with you to camp and you were a little bit drunk when deciding to share a sleeping bag...naked," I said hoping there was such a woman and they did sleep naked together in a sleeping bag. Suddenly, I had an erection just thinking about Kathy with another woman. "Freddie, there was no girl at summer camp. You're just making this shit up. You're just fishing hoping you'll catch me in a lie. Besides, I never sleep naked I sleep," she stopped talking to shoot me a look. "I'm not telling you how I sleep," she said laughing when Joe and I stopped breathing and just stared at her waiting for her to tell us what she wore to bed. "That's way too much personal information." "How about your roommate in your dorm room, surely, there must have been a long, cold night when you needed a warm body to snuggle up against? After a while, after studying so much and maybe having a couple of drinks, she was looking pretty good, huh?" "No," she said with a sour face. "I had my goose down blanket that my parents sent me. "Were you ever intimate with her?" "No," she said again repeating her sour face. "She had a steady boyfriend." "Meaning that had she not had a steady boyfriend, you would have snuggled with her and you would have been intimate with her?" "No, Freddie, I'm not lesbian. I'm not attracted to women." "Did you two ever make out?" "No," she said starting to look a little miffed. "Eww, gross, I could never be with a woman in that way." She shot me the same look when I broke her favorite doll so many years ago. "And no we never made out. Gawd, I just threw up in my mouth a little." "Did you ever see her naked?" "Yeah, sure, lots of times. So?" "Do you have any naked pictures of your roommate," asked Joe. "No and if I did, I surely wouldn't show them to you. Besides, why would I keep naked photos of my roommate?" "So you admit that you took naked photos of your roommate," I said. "Freddie, knock it off," she said putting a hand to her hip and looking like she was about to give me a cheer instead of a scolding. Suddenly, I imagined her naked with just a pom pom in each hand. "I never took naked photos of my roommate." "Did you ever feel the urge to touch her when you saw her naked?" "No," she said now definitely looking a little more miffed. "Seeing her naked did nothing for me." "Did she ever see you naked?" "Of course. We lived in the same freakin' small room together." "Did she ever touch you?" "No." "Did you ever touch her?" "Freddie! Knock it off. This is nuts. Why are you doing this?" Now was the perfect time to pull the trigger and start the show going by giving her the lesbian test. "Then, allow me to give you my free lesbian test." "Lesbian test? What lesbian test? What the Hell is a lesbian test?" "I devised a foolproof lesbian test," I said with a sly smile. "Yeah, I can only imagine what you devised being a fool yourself," she said laughing. "If it will stop all this nonsense about me being a lesbian, I'll take the damn test just to proof to you two fools once and for that I'm not a lesbian, not that there's anything wrong with being a lesbian. Only, I don't swing that way. I prefer cock over pussy." She said cock, again. Damn, every time she says the word cock, she breaks my concentration. Every time she says the word cock, I think of her seeing my cock, touching my cock, stroking my cock, fucking my cock, and sucking my cock. Cock, cock, cock, I love it when she says the word cock, cock-a-doodle-doo. I love it how she says the word cock. It doesn't sound dirty when she says it. It sounds erotic...cock. In the way that she says it makes me happy that I have a cock and that she's a cocksucker with no offense meant by that remark to her. I mean that she's a cocksucker in everything good about getting your cock sucked by a beautiful woman. Kathy flopped on the couch across from Joe and me. Her skirt was short enough and her knees were parted open enough to give Joe and me a nice up skirt view of her creamy white panties. A signal from our favorite movie, Animal House, I gave Joe the official John Belushi one eyebrow up and he returned my one eyebrow look. She had shapely legs from years of gymnastics, dancing, ice skating, and now cheerleading. She was so choice. I only hoped to God that she wasn't a virgin. I prefer more experienced and worldly women, not that I'm an experienced and worldly man, but a virgin doesn't have the appeal that it once had when my parents were my age. "Are you ready?" "Ready for what?" "For the lesbian test, are you ready to take the lesbian test?" "Yeah, I guess so. I'm as ready as I'll ever be for this dumb ass exam. I can only imagine the deranged questions you'll ask me to prove that I'm not a lesbian. So, go ahead give me your foolproof lesbian test, Freddie." In the next chapter Kathy takes the lesbian test. * Thank you for reading my story. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Please take a moment to vote, make a public comment, and/or give me feedback. Your support is why I write. Your feedback will motivate me to write a better story the next time. If you haven't already, please take moment to add me and/or this story or any other of my stories to your list of favorites. Thanks, Freddie, Bostonfictionwriter. To be continued... Lesbian Test Ch. 03 "Then, allow me to give you my free lesbian test." "Lesbian test? What lesbian test?" She looked from me to Joe and back at me again. "You guys are crazy. What the Hell is a lesbian test?" "I devised a foolproof lesbian test," I said with a sly smile. "And I'm asking you to take it so that you will know, we will know," I said looking at Joe, "once and for all if you are lesbian or not, that is, unless you don't want us to know that you are a lesbian or unless you don't want to know if you are a lesbian and prefer women to men." "Yeah, I can only imagine what you devised being a fool yourself," she said laughing. "Nonetheless, if it will stop all this nonsense about me being a lesbian," she said throwing her hands up in the air in an act of submission, "I'll take the damn test just to proof to you two fools once and for that I'm not a lesbian, not that there's anything wrong with being a lesbian. Only, I don't swing that way. I prefer cock over pussy." She said cock, again. Damn, every time she says the word cock, she breaks my concentration. Every time she says the word cock, I think of her seeing my cock, touching my cock, feeling my cock, holding my cock, stroking my cock, fucking my cock, licking my cock, and sucking my cock. Cock, cock, cock, I love it when she says the word cock, cock-a-doodle-doo. Damn, she's so friggin sexy and even more so now that I know she loves cock. I love it how she says the word cock. It doesn't sound dirty when she says it. It sounds erotic...cock. The only other way she could make it sound better than she does is if she had an Irish accent or an Italian accent. I can imagine her saying cock with either of those accents in such a way that would make me wild with lust for her, not that I'm not wild with lust for her now. In the way that she says cock, it makes me happy that I have a cock and that she's a cocksucker, that is, with no offense or disrespect meant to her by that remark. I mean that she's a cocksucker in every good sense of the word and about getting my cock sucked by a beautiful woman. Kathy flopped on the couch across from Joe and me. Her skirt was short enough and her knees were parted open enough to give Joe and me a nice up skirt view of her creamy white panties. As a signal from our favorite movie, Animal House, I gave Joe the official John Belushi one eyebrow up sign and he returned my one eyebrow look. She had shapely legs from years of gymnastics, dancing, ice skating, and now cheerleading. She was so choice. I only hoped to God that she wasn't a virgin. I prefer more experienced and worldly women, not that I'm an experienced and worldly man, but a virgin doesn't have the appeal that it once had when my parents were my age. I didn't want the responsibility of popping a woman's cherry and being remembered only for that. Moreover, I definitely didn't want her to fall in love with me because I was the one and only man that she every fucked. That would be weird. Yeah, I think that I love Kathy and it wouldn't be horrible that she fell in love with me because I popped her cherry, but I was still so very young. There were still so many women that I needed to experience first before marriage. I didn't want to be tied down to one woman right after graduating college. I needed to see the world first. I needed to experience some career women first. I needed to get a job. "Are you ready?" "Ready for what?" "Ready for the lesbian test, are you ready to take the lesbian test?" "Yeah, I guess so. I'm as ready as I'll ever be for this dumb ass exam," she said laughing. We were always laughing. We always had a good time whenever the three of us were together. "Dumb ass exam? I'll have you know that this test is based on scientific study that I have tirelessly worked writing over several minutes with my colleague Joe. "I helped write the first question," he said. "I can only imagine the deranged questions you'll ask me to prove that I'm not a lesbian. So, go ahead give me your foolproof lesbian test, Freddie." "Do you give blowjobs?" "Do I give blowjobs? What the Hell kind of question is that," she said looking from me to Joe and back to me again. "You guys are just perverted and Joe I'm surprised you helped write that question," she said laughing. "Actually, I thought it was a pertinent question," said Joe. "A true lesbian would rather cut off a guy's pecker than suck it." "Well, you do have a point there, only you just want me to tell you stuff so you can jerk off about it later while thinking of me sucking your cocks," she said making a jerk off motion by moving her hand back and forth as if it contained a (gulp)...cock. "Is that it? Is that what this lesbian shit and this lesbian test is all about?" I had tingles everywhere when she uttered the word cock, again. In all the years I've know her, I never heard her talk like this. It made me drool a little when I watched her, as if watching her in slow motion, moving her hand back and forth in her feigned motion of giving someone, me or Joe, lucky Joe, a hand job. Suddenly, I was seeing Kathy in a whole new light, a sexual light. No longer was she one of the guys. No longer was she a tomboy. Suddenly, Kathy was a viable sexual partner, instead of just an imagined fantasy. "Kathy, it hurts me that you, our dearest friend, would think that Joe and me, your best friends, are perverted and would jerk off over you and over the very personal information and answers that you share with us today while taking this official, foolproof lesbian test." With a soulful look, I gave her the saddest face that I could while pretending to wipe a tear from my eye. "I'm deeply offended." "Oh, knock it off. I haven't fallen for that sad face since the fifth grade when I gave you my Chunky candy bar after you made up that story about your mother not feeding you for three days. I was such an easy target back then. I actually believed everything you told me. Okay, okay, go ahead and ask your stupid questions," she said. "I'm sorry. Go ahead and continue with your foolproof lesbian test." She shot us a look again. "You guys are pathetic, though. I know you'll be jerking off over this later. I can't believe I'm doing this." I ignored her rip and continued with the test. "Do you give blowjobs," I asked again. "Yes, I suck cock." Yes, she sucks cock, she said, cock, cock, cock. Oh, my God, she gave me goose bumps whenever she says cock and my cock twinges its acknowledgment to the thoughts of being sucked off by her. "Do you like sucking cock or do you do it just to appease your lover? What I mean to say is, is it something you do because you know it's expected of you and he'd like you to do it or do you do it because you find it sexually stimulating?" "Actually," she said with a smile, "I enjoy it. I love how a cock feels in my mouth," she said. "I love stroking him as I'm sucking on his cock." I stared longingly at her perfect mouth and full lips while imagining her delicate tongue bringing my cock to an orgasm as she stroked me with her hand. I imagined fondling her tits and fingering her nipples before unloading all the cum that I had saved up for her in her mouth. It was a dream fantasy that I have had every night for more than five years come true to imagine Kathy sucking my cock. Suddenly, her nipples made an appearance through her bra and blouse and I could tell she was becoming sexually aroused with her verbalization about giving blowjobs. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Her nipples were so big. Was it cold in the room? No. I could feel my pupils widening with the sight of her erect nipples. I looked over at Joe and he noticed them, too. How could he not? Wow, who would have known that women get aroused and horny, too? I thought it was just us guys who were sexual deviates. I looked down at her right hand while imagining my cock being held and stroked by her before she took me in her mouth where I deposited my cum there. "Well, I can see this will be a revealing test," said Joe. "I think she may be teasing us with her answers." "I do enjoy teasing," she said. I enjoy teasing him with my tongue," she said while running her tongue over her lips. "Tell us more," said Joe putting his hand over his erection in a way that I thought he was going to unzip himself, pull it out, and start masturbating to what she was saying. After she moistened her lips with her tongue and gave each of us a sexual, sexy look, I imagined they glistened, as they did now, from my precum and from her sucking my cock. If I closed my eyes, I could almost feel her tongue teasing my cock. "I love the control that I have over a man when I'm blowing him," she said. I couldn't believe she continued expanding on her answer. This test and her answers were more than I had expected. I was in a daze. I had actually closed my eyes and drifted off with the sound of her voice filling my background. We had been out on a date and she invited me inside her apartment and we were sitting on the couch making out. We were French kissing and her kisses were getting me more and more excited. She was such a good kisser, the best kisser who ever kissed me. While kissing and kissing her, I was feeling her tits and fingering her nipples through her blouse and bra. Stealthily, I unbuttoned her blouse and paused to see what that unbuttoned button revealed before continuing to the next one. I saw the top of her bra. I saw her cleavage. I unbuttoned the next button. Now, I could fit my hand in her blouse. I cupped her big, bra clad tit. Immediately her nipple made its appearance known and I fingered it. There is nothing like the sensation of feeling a tit and fingering a nipple through a bra while French kissing. Then, in one quick move, I unhooked her front snapping bra and began fondling her naked tits. There they were, her tits. She has magnificent tits with big nipples. I love her tits, so soft, so firm, they fill my hands. I couldn't wait to suck her nipples. Only, just when I was about to lean down to take her nipple in my mouth and suck it, before I knew it, she had unzipped me, pulled out my cock, and had it in her mouth. Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? Kathy, my dream woman, was blowing me. She was really sucking my cock. This wasn't a dream. It wasn't a fantasy, but it was real. She was giving me the absolutely best blowjob that— "Freddie? Hello? Earth to Freddie? Freddie, are you alright? Your eyeballs are weird. Maybe, you shouldn't have any more to drink or smoke," she said showing her motherly concern for my health and wellbeing. "Sorry, I, uhm, must have dozed off. I guess I haven't been getting enough sleep after cramming to take all those final exams. Yeah, that's it. I'm sorry. Where was I?" I picked up the papers that had slid from my lap while I was fantasizing about her sucking my cock and leafed through them trying to quickly find the last question that I had asked her. "You asked me if I sucked cock and I told you that I did. Then, you asked me if I enjoyed sucking cock and I told you that I did. Now, I'm just waiting for your next lame and perverted question. Sorry, what I meant to say was, I'm waiting for you to continue with the official and foolproof lesbian test." Suddenly, it was happening again. Every time she mentioned the word cock, I couldn't help but think of her sucking my cock. "Okay, yeah, sure, I remember now," I said looking down at my papers and trying to focus my thoughts enough on the words to read them. "Do you allow a man to cum his warm, salty and gooey load in your mouth?" "That's crass. I can't believe I even agreed to answer these rude questions," she said looking at me as if I had just exposed my cock to her. You two are unbelievable," she said shooting us both a look that made me look appropriately shameful on the outside but I was tingling with eroticism on the inside anticipating her answer. Definitely, I couldn't wait to jerk off over this conversation. I'll be jerking off over this exchange with Kathy while imagining being sexually intimate with her for days. "Yes," she said giving me a dirty look. "I allow a man to cum his warm, salty, and gooey load in my mouth. I love it," she said. She was playing the game, as I knew she would. She was having just as much fun with us as we were having with her. Now, I questioned her answers. Was she being honest? Who cares? She was driving the both of us nuts with her responses. "Do you swallow?" "Freddie..." "What? What did I say? Gees, Kath, you act like I making all these questions up. These questions are all part of the official, foolproof, lesbian test." "You did make all these questions up, you goof," she said. "This is your test," she said with a laugh. "She's got a valid point there, Freddie," said Joe. Suddenly, I wondered who's side he was on, mine or hers? He was just saying anything to get in Kathy's pants. Only, he was just as transparent with his feigned concern for Kathy's embarrassment as I was. "Is this really necessary? These are really personal questions," she said. Only, she didn't look embarrassed by my questions. She didn't seem uncomfortable answering them, so I persevered hoping she'd answer more and in the same sexy and erotic way that she had answered the previous questions. "It is part of the test, Kath, honest. These are all pertinent questions that we need answered to determine if you are a lesbian." I looked at her. "Don't you want to know if you are a lesbian or not?" "I know I'm not a lesbian, Freddie, but okay," she said. "Ask away. Go ahead and continue with stupid your test." "After a man cums in your mouth, do you swallow his cum?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Joe stiffen his posture. His mouth fell open and his stare was glued to her answer. "Yes, of course, I swallow. What he Hell else am I supposed to do with cum after I've sucked it out of someone's cock?" She stuck out her chest and beamed a wide smile. "I'm not a spitter. I'm a proud swallower. It would be insulting and gross to spit out someone's love juice." Love juice. She calls cum love juice. If that's not so Kathy, then I don't know what is. I was dizzy thinking of giving Kathy some of my love juice. Oh, my God. I can't believe she calls cum love juice. She's my kind of woman. I imagined serving her breakfast in bed every morning and instead of giving her a glass of orange or grapefruit juice, I just pulled out my prick and inserted it in her mouth and instead of asking her to squeeze, I asked her to suck. Here's your love juice, Honey. Make sure you swallow all of it. You'll need the protein. Suddenly, I felt dizzy with the imagined lustful passion of Kathy sucking someone's cock and swallowing. Then, I imagined her sucking my cock, me cumming in her precious, perfect little mouth, and her swallowing my load. I couldn't remove the image of me shooting my load of love juice in her mouth and watching her swallow. Oh, my God. I imagined her tossing back her long, lush, blonde hair before leaning down to take me in her mouth while I fondled her magnificent tits and fingered her nipples. I regained control of my emotions in time to see Joe move his hand to his lap again to cover his growing erection. Fortunately, for me, my papers covered my bulging cock. "Freddie? Freddie, are you okay? You look a little pale?" In the next chapter Kathy takes the advanced lesbian test. * Thank you for reading my story. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Please take a moment to vote, make a public comment, and/or give me feedback. Your support is why I write. Your feedback will motivate me to write a better story the next time. If you haven't already, please take moment to add me and/or this story or any other of my stories to your list of favorites. Thanks, Freddie, Bostonfictionwriter. To be continued... Lesbian Test Ch. 04 "Yes, of course, I swallow. What he Hell else am I supposed to do with cum after I've sucked it out of someone's cock?" She stuck out her chest and beamed me a wide smile. "I'm not a spitter. I'm a proud swallower. It would be insulting and gross to spit out someone's love juice." Love juice. She calls cum love juice. If that's not so Kathy, then I don't know what is. I was dizzy thinking of giving Kathy some of my love juice. Oh, my God. I can't believe she calls cum love juice. She's my kind of woman. I imagined serving her breakfast in bed every morning and instead of giving her a glass of orange or grapefruit juice, I just pulled out my prick and inserted it in her mouth and instead of asking her to squeeze, I asked her to suck. Here's your love juice, Honey. Make sure you swallow all of it. It's good for you and you need the protein. Suddenly, I felt dizzy with the imagined lustful passion of Kathy sucking someone's cock and swallowing. Then, I imagined her sucking my cock, me cumming in her precious, perfect little mouth, and her swallowing my load. I couldn't remove the image of me shooting my load of love juice in her mouth and watching her swallow. Oh, my God. I imagined her tossing back her long, lush, blonde hair before leaning down to take me in her mouth while I fondled her magnificent tits and fingered her nipples. I regained control of my emotions in time to see Joe move his hand to his lap again to cover his growing erection. Fortunately for me my papers covered my bulging cock. "Freddie? Freddie, are you okay? You look a little pale?" "What? Did you say something? Oh, I'm fine, Kath, I'm fine. I'm just gathering my thoughts. Let's continue with the test, shall we?" Fuck, suddenly, I was talking like Michael Jackson or Mike Tyson in a high pitched voice. I coughed, took a sip of my beer, and regained control of my voice. "Okay, I'm ready for your next question," she said giving me her best smile. "You two are total morons," she said laughing. "But this is fun and funny almost." I stole another quick look of her panty and imagined my face buried between her shapely thighs before continuing with the next question. I wondered if her perfect pussy was bushy, trimmed or bald. I figured she was trimmed. I wondered what her pussy tasted like and I wondered what sounds she made when she had an orgasm. I figured her pussy tasted clean and fresh and she made cute little sounds. I wondered if she talked dirty in bed. I hoped she talked dirty in bed. I wondered what she looked like in her panty and bra. Wonderful. I wondered what she looked like naked. Unbelievable. I imagined licking her and fingering her through her panty before peeling her saliva soaked panties off and sticking my tongue inside her while fingering her click and licking the length of her. She was so damn beautiful. She was so damn hot. She was so damn sexy. I'd do anything to make love to her. Yeah, I'd even suck her pussy if I knew she'd reward me by sucking my cock after. Finally, I got a hold of myself enough to ask her the next question. "After you look at a man's face, do you look down at his package?" "Yeah, sure, I guess, all women do," she said looking from me to Joe and back again. "Don't they? It's like guys looking at women's tits. Only, we don't stare and leer at men's bulges the way that you guys stare at our tits and asses. We're more subtle about it. Guys never see us looking, that is, unless we want them to see us." Wow, I thought to myself, all this time, I thought women were admiring my belt buckle when instead they are checking out my cock. Now, that I know they are stealing peeks at my bulging cock, maybe somehow I can use that to my advantage and be more forward with those women who are checking me out. I never knew that about women. "We're not here to judge you Kathy," I said, "but just to ask you the questions of the official, foolproof, lesbian test. May I remind you that this is a professional setting and all information received shall remain in the strictest of confidence? Trust me, as you would your doctor. Nothing leaves this room," I said with a straight face. "Your secrets are safe with me." "Bullshit," she said. "And if it's part of the test, I'm not getting naked, so get that out of your dirty, mini minds. You two are retards," she said with a laugh. "But this test is fun and funny...a little. Alright, what else is there? I have things to do." "Huh? Oh, sorry, I just have a few more questions," I said preoccupied with the thought of her getting naked. I couldn't wait to e-mail my friends this test so that they could test their female friends and girlfriends. I imagined writing a book, the Ultimate Official Foolproof Lesbian Test Book, by Freddie. I imagined signing autographs for grateful women who couldn't wait to thank me in person and buy my book for proving that they are not lesbians, not that there's anything wrong with being lesbian. Only, they were relieved, happy even, that they weren't because they preferred not to be. They liked men. I imagined women lining up in my private office waiting to pay me to give them their own, personal, private, official, foolproof lesbian test. Only, some women would rather be heterosexual and, as a public service, a paid public service, that is, if I can sacrifice my time and energy in helping them prove that they are not lesbians but heterosexual women, then so be it. I will live my life unselfishly in helping women discover their real sexuality and sexual orientation. In the name of science and for the benefit of every young and desirable woman is the reason why I begin my career path as a sex educator and researcher ala sex therapists everywhere. Dr. Ruth, I love you! "Freddie, you're doing it again. You're daydreaming. Hello? Earth to Freddie." "Sorry. Okay, here's the next question. Have you ever accidentally on purpose rubbed against a man's erection while in a crowded subway, an elevator, on a bus or in a department store at Christmas shopping rush?" "Eww! No. Gross. Why would I do something like that?" Again, she looked from me to Joe and back again. "Is that what guys do? Do guys rub up against women hoping to get a cheap feel of their asses and/or tits? Is that what you guys do?" "No, they only do that in Japan on crowded trains. We've never heard of guys doing that around here," I said hoping to deflect the topic of conversation back to her, but not until I gave Joe the official John Belushi Animal House raised eyebrow. "Okay, so far you've past the preliminary lesbian test. Congratulations. So far, on the surface and based on this exhaustive test, it's obvious that you're not a lesbian." "That's it? See, I told you that I wasn't a lesbian," she said with a broad smile that made me want to kiss her. If I thought she was pretty before she smiled, she was even prettier when she smiled. She had a gorgeous smile. "Wait, hold on, hold on, that was only the preliminary lesbian test," I said giving her my best professional looking face, as would a doctor give his patient. "So far, I'm fairly certain that you are not a lesbian, but you may have lesbian tendencies," I said nodding my head in a professional manner. "Now, I must give you the advanced part of the lesbian test to prove that you don't have lesbian tendencies and will not become a lesbian in the future." "Oh, c'mon. You're not serious. This is foolish. How long will this take?" "Not long, just a few more minutes. There are only a few more questions. "Okay, go ahead, ask your questions. I'm ready," she said making herself more comfortable on the sofa and giving Joe and me a better view of her panties. I imagined cuddling up against her, kissing her, and then reaching down to lift her skirt and feel her panty clad pussy before reaching my hand down the front of her panties to finger her clit. "Freddie. Go ahead. Ask your questions. I'm ready. Freddie..." "Oh, sorry, I was just thinking about the questions that I needed to ask you," I said looking down at my papers and adjusting them to cover my stiffening erection. "Okay, so how many hand jobs have you given?" "Hand jobs? Oh, God, I have no idea," she said with the wave of her little, virginal hand, a hand that I've always admired while wondering what it would feel like to have her hand around my cock as she stroked me faster and faster and faster until I exploded all my love juice all over her precious, little hand and fingers. "Well think about the first time you gave a hand job," I said feeling my cock twitching in my pants. "Okay, it was quite a while ago. I gave a hand job to Kevin Murphy." "No way! You jerked off freakin' Kevin Murphy? He's such a dork. She jerked off freakin' Kevin Murphy," I said to Joe. "Kevin Murphy! Of all people? Why Kevin? He's such an undeserving lucky bastard to receive a hand job from you." "Thank you, I think," she said smiling at Joe. "Yeah, well, it was after the senior prom and I felt sorry for him. He was a bit pathetic. To this day, I still don't know why I accepted his invitation to the senior prom. At the time, I was six inches taller than him and he spit every time he talked. I couldn't stand his laugh. I didn't know if he was laughing or sneezing," she said trying to imitate his laugh and making us all laugh. "Gees, Kath, Kevin Murphy. Why?" "Yeah, well, I know. What's done is done. It's in the past. Anyway, we drove out to Orient Heights and were making out in his car and he was feeling me up. I had this low cut dress with no bra and my tits were right there and so he had easy access to them and he did. If I remember back, I think he had my tits out. Yeah, definitely, he was sucking my nipples. I mean, his mouth was the exact height of my nipples," she said with a laugh. "I always get horny when a guy sucks my nipples, which is why I gave him a hand job. I love having my nipples sucked," she said putting back her head and closing her eyes while parting her knees just a little more to give Joe and me a nice view of her camel toe. Joe squirmed in his seat and I could feel my face getting red with lustful desire. The thoughts of kissing Kathy while feeling her tits, taking out her tits, and sucking her nipples consumed me. It took all the self control that I possessed to continue on with the questioning. "How many hand jobs do you think you've given?" Kathy started counting with one hand, and then with two hands. When she got to ten, she continued counting all over again. She finally stopped at twenty-seven. "Twenty-seven." "Are you serious? You gave twenty-seven hand jobs?" "No, silly, I've given way more hand jobs than that. I've given hundreds of hand jobs. I thought you meant how many different guys I've given hand jobs to." I fanned my face with the paper while taking some deep breaths, looked at Joe, and rolled my eyes. I couldn't believe she gave twenty-seven guys hundreds of hand jobs. "I'm going to go on to the next question," I said turning over my page. I was afraid to ask the next question. I was afraid that I might cum in my pants with her answer. "How many men have you blown?" I figured, I hoped, she gave less blowjobs than she did hand jobs, for sure, definitely, yeah, hand jobs were easier to give and hand jobs were no big deal. They were just a hand job. Definitely, without a doubt, she gave more hand jobs than blowjobs. Now that I thought about it, a cock probably has never passed her lips, which explains why she's given so many hand jobs. She doesn't give blowjobs and is saving her mouth for her special someone, her husband...me. Only, again, she started counting with one hand, and then with two hands. When she got to ten, she continued counting all over again. She finally stopped at forty-four. "Forty-four." Joe and I just looked at one another. It took me a minute to gather my thoughts enough to speak. I had no idea Kathy was a player. I had no idea Kathy was a sexual animal. I never thought of her in that way. I always thought of her as Kathy, my best friend, and the perfect women that I hoped to have a sexual relationship with and marry one day. I was in shock that she gave hundreds of hand jobs and has given forty-four blowjobs to forty-four different guys. Holy shit. That's way more women than I've been with, for sure. Quickly I tried to think of how many hand jobs and how many blowjobs I've received from women. When I looked over to Joe, I had the sense that he was doing the same thing. Faces of all the women I ever dated quickly flowed through my mind and I kept count of what sexual thing they did to me. Most times, it was me doing something to them, usually feeling their tits or if lucky enough, sucking their nipples. My count was disappointing and it was then that I realized that I should give myself a gay test after totaling only five hand jobs and three blowjobs. "You've given forty-four blowjobs? Are you serious? I don't believe you." I tried to ask her the question without judgment, but I was incredulous. I was jealous. I was beside myself with sexual desire for her. I wished she'd give me a hand job. I wished she'd give me a blowjob. "No, sorry, I've given way more blowjobs than that," she said with an excited look on her face that in all the years I've known her, I've never known her to have. The words hit me like a baseball bat to the back of the head. I was jolted away. Suddenly, my mind drifted away and it was as if I was no longer in the room. This whole thing was surreal when she said, 'No, I've given way more blowjobs than that.' Are you kidding me? You've given way more than forty-four freaking blowjobs? What are you a sex machine? Where the Hell did you find the time to give hundreds of hand jobs and forty-four different men who knows how many blowjobs? I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This was my dear, sweet, innocent and virginal Kathy, who, as it turns out, isn't so innocent after all. I was dumbfounded. I gathered my thoughts. Okay, so what if she's given hundreds of hand jobs. So what if she has blown forty-four different men. So what? Obviously, she didn't fuck any of these guys. No doubt, she's still a virgin, which would explain the need to give so many hand jobs and blowjobs. Definitely, she was saving herself for her special someone, her husband...me. "Pardon?" That was all that I could say. I could not fix my mouth to say anything else, not another word. My mind was a blur of her going from one guy giving him a hand job and to another guy to give him a blowjob. Suddenly, I wondered if she had kneepads in her pink cheerleading bag that she carried to practice and to games on game day. "I'm sorry," she said. "I misunderstood your question, again. I thought you meant how many different guys I've blown." She looked at me before looking at Joe and shrugging her shoulders. "I never gave it any thought until now being under the spotlight with this lesbian test." "Kathy! I had no idea," I said with my eyes bulging out of my head. "I was a cheerleader all through college. I was popular and we had a winning team. There were lots of drunken parties and as you can see, I like men and I love sucking cock." Popular? Yeah, I bet you were. She loves sucking cock. All these years that I've been terminally horny, all these years that I've been lusting over Kathy, and now she confesses that she loves sucking cock and has given hundreds of hand jobs, are you kidding me? "I'm afraid to ask, but how many blowjobs do you think you gave?" "Oh, I definitely gave a lot more blowjobs than hand jobs, I can tell you that, for sure." she said. "Guys always want a blowjob rather than a hand job, any time," she said waving a hand at me and shrugging her not so sweet and innocent shoulders. Are you kidding me? My dream woman, who has given hundreds of hand jobs to twenty-seven different men, now admits that she's given a lot more blowjobs to forty-four men. I couldn't believe my ears. Suddenly, I could feel my erection deflating with the thought of her giving so many men hand jobs and blowjobs when she never even gave me a French kiss. Suddenly, I wished we were never friends. I wished that I was one of those other guys. I wish I played freakin' football at her school instead of majoring in accounting at my school. Suddenly, instead of feeling like the player that I thought I was when I created this lesbian test, I felt like the loser that I truly am in front of the love of my life, my future wife. I imagined us standing at the altar ready to be pronounced man and wife when the Priest turned to the congregation and asked, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." Suddenly, hundreds of men, some still wearing dirty football uniforms converged up the altar to surround us. They all wanted her. "So, how many blowjobs do you think you've given?" "Oh, easily a thousand, at least," she said. Joey's mouth was hanging open and all the color drained from my face. The rest of my questions were kind of meaningless. I was meaningless. The pedestal that I had placed her on all these years crumbled before my eyes to reveal a giant cock oozing with cum and Kathy on her knees lapping it. My love for her was meaningless. "I don't think I can go on with the test." "Why? C'mon, this is fun." "No, this test is stupid. I can't even ask you the rest of the questions. They are dumb and I'm embarrassed that I even talked you into taking this test. I'm sorry." In the next chapter Kathy gives herself the rest of the test. * Thank you for reading my story. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Please take a moment to vote, make a public comment, and/or give me feedback. Your support is why I write. Your feedback will motivate me to write a better story the next time. If you haven't already, please take moment to add me and/or this story or any other of my stories to your list of favorites. Thanks, Freddie, Bostonfictionwriter. To be continued... Lesbian Test Ch. 05 "I'm afraid to ask, but how many blowjobs do you think you've given?" "Oh, I definitely gave a lot more blowjobs than hand jobs, I can tell you that for sure," she said. "Guys always want a blowjob rather than a hand job, any time," she said waving a hand at me and shrugging her not so sweet and innocent shoulders. "I dare you to ask any guy if he wants a hand job or a blowjob to hear what he says. No one would turn down a blowjob for a hand job. There's not a guy alive who wouldn't want a blowjob over a hand job." "I'll take your word for it, Kath. I think guys would get the wrong idea of me if I asked them if they wanted a hand job or a blowjob," I said with a nervous chuckle. Are you kidding me? I couldn't believe it. I was in shock. My dream woman, who has given hundreds of hand jobs to twenty-seven different men, now admits that she's given a lot more blowjobs to forty-four different men. I couldn't believe my ears. What the Hell is going on here? When did she change from an innocent virgin to an experienced minx? Suddenly, I could feel my erection deflating with the thought of her giving so many men hand jobs and blowjobs when she never even gave me a French kiss. Suddenly, I wished we were never friends. I wished that I was one of those other guys who she had been sexually intimate with. I wish I had played freakin' football at her school instead of majoring in the dismal science of accounting at my school. It hurt my sensibilities to imagine her with a big, fat, sweaty football player. It made me ill to think of her peeling back his jockstrap to get at his cock to blow him. Gawd! Kathy! What happened to you? Suddenly, instead of feeling like the player that I thought I was when I created this lesbian test, I felt like the loser that I truly am in front of the love of my life, my wished for girlfriend, lusted over lover, and future wife. I imagined us standing at the altar ready to be pronounced man and wife when the Priest turned to the congregation and asked, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." Suddenly, hundreds of men, some still wearing dirty football uniforms and all standing there with their cocks dangling out and at the ready, converged up to the altar to surround us. They all wanted her. They all wanted her to blow them. I imagined her kneeling in her wedding dress ready to do every one of them, including the priest. "So, how many blowjobs do you think you've given?" "Oh, easily a thousand, at least," she said. Did she say that she has given at least a thousand blowjobs? I can't imagine that many men being blown by her. Surely, she's kidding. She's reversing my game and trying to upset me. Why would she give a thousand blowjobs? Surely, she didn't do it for money? Did she do it because she just loves sucking cock or because she has a lot of horny boyfriends? Joey's mouth was hanging open and all the color drained from my face. The rest of my questions were meaningless. I was meaningless. The pedestal that I had placed her on all these years crumbled before my eyes to reveal a giant cock oozing with cum and Kathy on her knees lapping at it. My love for her was meaningless. Surely, this was not the same woman that I had carried the torch of love for all these years. I had the same sick feeling that I felt when I discovered the fantasy celebrity love of my life, the sweet and innocent Christie Brinkley, had been married five times. When did that happen? Last thing I knew she was a supermodel and married to Billy Joel and doing that Uptown Girl video. When did she get all that sexual history and baggage? Where the Hell was I when she was getting divorced and remarried? How could Kathy, this gawky Tomboy, who wore braces and glasses and had acne, become such a sex craved woman? When did that all happen? The Kathy that I knew was Dennis the Menace's Margaret or Dobie Gillis's Zelda. The Kathy that I knew and loved never swore, she never spoke about sex, and she never uttered the word cock. Now, everything has changed. She's totally different. Suddenly, she emerged from Zelda to Thalia Menninger played by that blonde sex siren Tuesday Weld on Dobie Gillis. This is not the same girl who gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek when she left for college. She's different and she's a woman now. If I thought she was unapproachable before, I'll never get in her pants now. Now, she's a superstar, a man magnate, and a sex symbol. Surely, she looks at me as a child and at this test as a joke and as a sign of my emotional immaturity and sexual inexperience. I managed to humiliate myself by giving her this lesbian test, a test that, at the time, I thought was funny and a test I thought would make her want me. I was so naïve. I don't have the sexual experience to satisfy someone like her. She has way more sexual experience than I do. Even though I'm a testosterone filled and constantly horny guy, my sexual appetite obviously pales in comparison to her sexual appetite. How did she even have the time to meet more than a thousand men to blow them? I don't think I even know a hundred people and certainly not more than two or three who would want to blow me? I don't get it. I wish I had never given her this lesbian test. I wish I didn't know about her sexual history. I can only imagine the pillow talk that she'd have in bed. "I don't think I can go on with the test, Kath. I'm sorry." "Why? C'mon Freddie, this is fun." "No, this test is stupid. I can't even ask you the rest of the questions. They are dumb and I'm embarrassed that I even talked you into taking this test. I'm sorry," I said again. "Let me see them," she said taking the papers from my lap and exposing my big bulge that tented my pants. She looked at my erection and then looked away. I now knew that she wasn't admiring my belt buckle. I saw her look at my bulging cock. Did she do that on purpose? Or did she allow me to see her look, just to tease me? Whatever she did it worked because I was horny for her again. "Let's see what you have here," she said reading my questions. "When you dream, do you ever dream of a train going through a tunnel? No, that's a Freudian thing," she said with a laugh. "When I dream about sex I don't dream about it symbolically. I dream of a big hunk of a man naked, willing, and able to please me." "Yeah, well, I guess that leaves us out of your dreams," said Joey. "We'd fit the bill being naked, but we'd never measure up to your big hunk standards and after hearing about all the men you've been with, I don't think that either or even both of us together could please you." Now, I felt even worse knowing the type of man that she dreamed about, the opposite man of me. She loved athletes. Maybe that's way she gave so many blowjobs. Maybe she was hoping to hit the jackpot and latch onto a winner, some college athlete who'd be offered a multi-million dollar contract as an enticement to the pros. She continued reading the questions and I just wanted to die with embarrassment. "Do you ever dream of a hot dog stand selling foot log hot dogs? No," she said again with another laugh. "Do you get sexually excited when a bartender asks you if you want a cocktail?" She looked at me and laughed. "You're right, Freddie, these questions are lame. I thought they were good before but, I can see that they are dumb now." "I'm sorry," was all that I could say. It was over. My love for Kathy shriveled with my erection. She'd never be interested in someone like me. She left me behind when she left the neighborhood for college. She stayed in a dormitory and experienced the complete adventure of college life. Unable to afford room and board, as well as my college tuition, I commuted back and forth. Perhaps, had I stayed in a dorm room, too, I'd be on her level, but I doubted it. "You've got to be kidding," she said. Either you're trying to be funny or you're just naïve." She read in silence before looking up at me. "You're right, these are dumb questions. You guys are so lame," she said holding up the papers and waving them at us. "Is this how you think of women? Do you think that we are this shallow and this easy and this preoccupied with sex and with cocks?" Now, I really felt like an idiot. Suddenly, I wanted to hide. I wanted to go home. Kathy was no longer in the same ballpark as me. She wasn't even in the same league. We weren't even playing the same game. She was at the advanced level and I was still a beginner. I was a child compared to her. Obviously, she had all the secrets on not only how to get a man but also how to please a man. Here I was with my childhood friend, Joe, acting like juveniles in front of the women I was trying to sexually seduce into giving me sex. I was so embarrassed. "Sorry," I said again holding my hand out to retrieve the papers, but she continued reading and giving herself the test. "If you were sitting on a beach with a man you casually knew, an acquaintance or a neighbor, and you were having a friendly conversation what would you do in these situations?" She looked up me and smiled before continuing. "He's sitting across from you with his legs bent and his hands resting on his knees. Clearly, you can see that his penis and part of his testicles have fallen out of the underside of his bathing suit. What would you do?" "Kath, there's no sense in continuing with this dumb test. This is ridiculous." "I want to," she said. "Would you turn red, look away from his exposed man meat, make constant eye contact and/or look out towards the water while imagining a train going through a tunnel or an Oscar Meyer wiener commercial? Certainly, I wouldn't turn red," she said looking up and smiling at me. "Certainly, I'd enjoy the view." Her smile made me wish I could kiss her. She reminded me of a young Christie Brinkley when she smiled. She continued reading my lame lesbian test further embarrassing me. She had the most beautiful smile and her teeth were so white and so perfect, just like the rest of her. "Would you steal peeks at his cock whenever you could trying not to get caught looking? Yeah, probably, I would," she said. "Would you just stare at his cock until a bit of drool fell from your lip? No, she said, that's too funny. That's something that a guy would do when seeing something that he wasn't supposed to see." She put the papers down to address us and to lecture us. "Women don't drool over cocks. Women aren't visual in the way that men are." "We can't help ourselves, Kath. We're just dumb, visually aroused guys. We don't know any better," said Joe. Now, I felt doubly bad that I had embarrassed Joe, too. This test was my fault. I've ruined everything. "Besides," she said, "I've seen enough cocks in my life, small ones, big ones, long ones, thin ones, fat ones, straight ones, bent ones, crooked ones, and curved ones that I don't drool over seeing a cock. I'm more apt to get wet with what they can do with their cock and/or in the way that they carry themselves confidently. Yeah, I like a confident man. European men are masters at taking control of a woman." She was so sexually more advanced and more mature about sex and sexuality than we obviously were. We were mere children compared to her. We weren't men. We were boys. Then, she looked up and caught us stealing a peek up her skirt. I was mortified. At that point, it was an accident. I couldn't help myself from looking at her panty. Yeah, I knew it was wrong, but I was horny and I couldn't stop myself from looking. I knew that I lacked sophistication for looking and would prove to her how sexually inexperienced we were if caught looking and then, she caught us. Fuck! Now, I was really embarrassed. I didn't know what to say. There was nothing that I could say to defend my action of looking at my best friend's panty. I'm such a loser. "You guys are unbelievable," she said looking at us before looking down at her skirt. "Perverts, you both are a couple of perverts. How long have I been flashing you my panty?" "Ever since you sat down on the couch," said Joe with a big shit eating grin. "Sorry, Kath," I said feeling foolish, "we can't help ourselves. We're guys and if you're going to sit like a guy and flash us your panties, then we are going to look." She flattened down her skirt and closed her knees denying us further peaks of her panties before looking back down at the papers and reading. "Would you look away and tell him that his cock is exposed? I might. It depends on the guy," she said with a smile. "It depends if I was embarrassed or excited," she said continuing reading the questions. "Alright! Further proof that you're not a lesbian," said Joe with an uplifted hand waiting for me to give him a high five, but I didn't give him a high five. I wanted to be invisible, I was so embarrassed. "Would you stare and point and tell him his cock is exposed? No, but then again, it all depends on the guy," she said. "Would you ask him if he wanted a hand job and/or a blowjob? Certainly, not," she said. "In your dreams," she laughed. "That's definitely a guy's fantasy question." "Since you've already seen his cock, would you ask him if he wants to see your pussy and/or tits? Yeah, right, I'd really ask him that," she said looking up from the papers and laughing. "That's another typical guy question. You guys are something else. Are all guys like you?" "You know, Kath, this test wasn't for real. It was supposed to be funny," I said. "We didn't mean to offend you or embarrass you." Only, I knew my defense was transparent. She knew this test was for real and that this is how Joe and I thought about women and about sex. She could teach me so much, if only she'd give me the chance. Only, why would she bother teaching a boy about sex when she could have a man, a real man and any man she wanted, and experience sex between two mature adults, instead of with someone like me who was emotional retarded. "Would you just reach out your hand and touch him on the pretense of pushing his cock back in his bathing suit? No," she said. "Eww, gross. You two are incorrigible," she said looking up at us and laughing. "Would you lower your mouth to his exposed cock and take his cock in your mouth and blow him? Yeah, right, as if I'd really do that on a public beach. That's your fantasy, not mine," she said laughing. "These questions are too funny. You can tell two horny guys wrote them. You can tell that none of these questions have anything to do with a lesbian test, even if there were such a thing." "I'm sorry, Kath. You don't have to read any more. Just give me back the papers, so that I can rip them to shreds," along with my hope of ever getting with Kathy sexually, I thought. Truly, I didn't want her to read that last question. I feared what she'd think. I knew that if she read that question, she'd never speak to me again and our friendship was over. Only, she continued reading. I was sick to my stomach with dread that we were over as friends. "Now, here's the bonus point question that will not only prove that you are not a lesbian but will also prove that you are a sexual animal," she said. "Will you give us a blowjob?" She put the pile of papers down and looked up at us. She stared at me and then stared at Joe before staring back at me. I felt pathetic. I felt ashamed. She was my friend, my best friend after all. I had known her for 18 years, most of my life. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment. I couldn't believe I wrote that question. It sounded so much worse to hear my dream woman read it back to me. "Is that what this is about? You two just want me to suck you off? You want a blowjob?" She looked at the both of us. I could feel my cock shrivel. I couldn't even look at her. I felt like the time that I was called to the principal's office because I flew a paper airplane out the window. "You really want a blowjob? You really want me to blow you?" I was so embarrassed. I hoped I hadn't ruined a friendship. I feared the anger that she was about to unleash and I deserved all over her rage. I had offended her and I had pushed the boundaries of our friendship. "Yeah," said Joe. "We've both been nuts for you since forever." I gave Joe a dirty look with an elbow to his ribs. I couldn't believe he said that. Then, when I looked up at her, she was smiling and looking at us endearingly. "Kath, I'm so sorry. It's just that—" "Okay," she said. "What? Okay?" Did she just say okay? Did she agree to give us a blowjob or was she talking about something else? "What do you mean, okay?" "I'll blow you," she said. "The both of you," she said looking from me to Joe and removing her gum. "Seriously?" "Yeah, sure. What the Hell? It's just a blowjob. Instead of or hopefully in addition to best friends forever, we'll be friends with benefits. Maybe after I suck you guys off, you'll grow up and give all this sexual shit between us a rest and we can continue to be friends." She tossed her hair back again with a toss of her pretty head. "We have a long history and if you guys need me to take care of you sexually, how can I turn down my best friends when I've been accommodating everyone else." "I don't believe this," I said to Joe. "If I knew it would be this easy, I would have asked a long time ago." "Well, c'mon, take off your pants. Let me see your cocks." "Kath?" "What?" "Can you get topless? I like feeling tits when I'm getting a blowjob," I said while unbuckling my pants and unzipping them. "Okay," she said unbuttoning her blouse. "Only, you can't suck my tits 'cause that really gets me going. I don't mind blowing you, but fucking you is different." "Okay," I said giving Joe the official John Belushi one eyebrow up from Animal House. He smiled back and I knew that one of us or both of us would be sucking her tits and fucking her, too. Definitely, she passed the test. Definitely, she wasn't a lesbian. In the next chapter, Kathy sucks our cocks. Thank you for reading my story. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Please take a moment to vote, make a public comment, and/or give me feedback. Your support is why I write. Your feedback will motivate me to write a better story the next time. If you haven't already, please take moment to add me and/or this story or any other of my stories to your list of favorites. Thanks, Freddie, Bostonfictionwriter. To be continued... Lesbian Test Ch. 06 "Is that what this is about?" She looked at us incredulously. "You two just want me to suck you off? You want a blowjob?" Her look made me feel small. "You two are so pathetic. This whole test was just a ruse to get me to blow you, huh?" She stared at us without speaking. I kept my head down and remained quiet. I never felt so embarrassed. I felt she was a teacher and we were her students for something stupid that we did in class. It wouldn't be so bad if she just pulled our pants down and spanked us, but her look of disappointment in us was more painful (or exciting) than any spanking we'd receive from her. I could feel my cock shrivel. I couldn't even look at her. I felt like the time that I was called to the principal's office because I flew a paper airplane out the window. Paper airplane, what the Hell it was no big deal, lesbian test, what the Hell, no big deal, yet I felt as embarrassed then as I did now. "I'm sorry, Kath," was all that I could say without lifting my head to look at her. "Look at me," she said in a stern voice. "I don't believe you two. I don't believe this whole thing was just to get me to blow you? Do I look that dumb to you? How could you disrespect me like that?" "We're sorry, Kath," said Joe. There was a long, uncomfortable silence. I wanted to leave but I couldn't get up and leave her room until Joe did. Only, I wanted to say something, anything to break the tension and to try and mend whatever was left of our friendship. And then she spoke again. "You really want a blowjob?" I didn't answer her. I couldn't answer her. I didn't know if she was asking us a question or making a statement of fact. "You really want me to blow you?" Joe didn't answer her. "You devised this test as a scheme hoping that I'd want to prove to you that I wasn't a lesbian by blowing you?" She laughed, but it wasn't a sexy laugh it was more of a crazy laugh. Nonetheless, her laugh made us laugh a little. My laugh was more of an uncomfortable laugh because I was waiting for her to unleash her anger at us and toss us out of her room. Then, when I lifted my head finally, to look at her, I felt even worse. The way she looked at me made me feel so small and so stupid. I was so embarrassed. I hoped I hadn't ruined a friendship. I feared the anger that she was about to unleash and even though I deserved all of her rage, I was still madly in love with her. Only, I had offended her and I had pushed the boundaries of our friendship. What the Hell was I thinking when I wrote that test? I was wrong to question her sexuality, even if it was a joke. I was despicable using her good nature for the mere hope of a blowjob. I felt like such a shit. I was still reeling from what how she answered those questions. I wondered if she was telling us the truth and if she really gave hundreds of hand jobs and at least a thousand blowjobs. I wondered if she was giving us those answers just to make us wild with lust. We didn't need her to tease us and to make us desire her any more. We were already crazy mad for her. She was one in a million. She was our shooting star that was speeding across the sky only she was disappearing out of our sight and out of our grasp. I wish there was one thing that I could say to fix what I did. Only, Joe said it. "Yeah," said Joe. "We've both been nuts for you since forever." At the time I didn't know what he just admitted and openly expressed would have any effect on how she felt about us, especially now. It was just a simple statement telling her how we really felt about her. I gave Joe a dirty look along with an elbow to his ribs. I figured he'd only make things worse. I couldn't believe he said that. Then, when I looked back at her again, she was smiling and looking at us endearingly. Only instead of making me feel better, her look of love and friendship made me feel even worse. "Kath, I'm so sorry. I've been in love with you since we were kids. I've always imagined what it would be like to be with you and to kiss you. It's just that—" "Okay," she said. "—I've always wanted you and when I thought that I could—" "Okay," she said again. "What? Okay?" "Okay," she said for the third time. Did she just say okay? What did she mean by saying okay? Did she say okay just to stop me from talking any more and that she heard enough or did she say okay because she just agreed to blow us? Did she agree to give us a blowjob or was she talking about something else? What did she mean by saying okay? What? My brain was screaming for clarification and for more information. Only, I was afraid to ask. Here I go again getting myself in deeper by thinking that she said agreed to blow us. Nah, she wouldn't agree to blow us, would she? Even though I was afraid to question her, I did anyway. What did I have to lose? "Okay? What do you mean exacting by saying okay?" "I'll blow you," she said. "The both of you," she said looking from me to Joe and removing her gum. She'll blow me. She'll blow the both of us. My brain was on fire. I didn't know what to say and what to do. What would Emily Post say and do in such an instance when your long time friend who you have lusted over for years agrees to blow you and your best friend? How should I respond to her without ruining the moment and having her change her mind? Or is she just teasing us? Is this her silly game now that she is playing on us to get even? Is this how she plans to get back at us? Yeah, she'll probably tell us that she'll blow us, have us get naked and wait in her room. Then, she'll excuse herself for the bathroom to freshen up and then she'll return with our parents. I'd die if my Mom and Dad ever saw me naked. "You will?" That was all that I could say. My mouth wasn't working with my brain. "Yeah, I'll blow the both of you. I can do that. Really, I don't mind. What the Hell," she said throwing up her hands in submission. "It's just a blowjob." Maybe it was just a blowjob to her but to us it was the second coming of Christ. For us, Christmas this year was early. We couldn't have been any more excited if we had just found out that we had won the lottery. There was nothing more we wanted than a blowjob, especially at our age, under the age of 80-year-old, other than a Shelby Mustang convertible with a case of beer in the trunk and a hot blonde riding shotgun. "Seriously?" "Yeah, sure. Why not? It's just a blowjob. Instead of or hopefully in addition to best friends forever, we'll be friends with benefits. There's nothing wrong with that, so long as you two understand that we're still just friends and not lovers," she said looking from me to Joe while we nodded our heads like bobble dolls. "Maybe after I suck you guys off, you'll grow up and give all this sexual shit between us a rest and we can continue to be friends." When she tossed her hair back again with a toss of her pretty head, I had an instant erection thinking about her removing my cock from her mouth to toss her hair back before continuing with my blowjob. I couldn't wait to put a hand to the back of her head and fuck her pretty, little mouth before exploding all the cum that I had down her throat. "Thank you, Kathy," I said. "Thank you, Kathy," said Joe. "Don't," she said putting up her hand. "That's the one thing that you can say and in the way that you just said it to make me not want to blow either of you. Don't act so needy for Christ's sake. Be a man. Be a confident man," she said stomping her foot and raising her voice. "I'd rather you grab me by the hair, slap me across the face, tear open my blouse, stick your cock in my mouth, and force me to blow you than to act so goddamn grateful and needy. Gees, that's so pathetic to say thank you, Kathy, when I offered to blow you." What the Hell else was I supposed to say? Assume the position bitch. Get down on your knees. What? Only, before I could react, Joe did. Immediately, he grabbed a handful of her hand and lifted his hand high in readiness to slap her across the face. "Don't take me so literal, Joe," she said laughing. "I meant it rhetorically when I said that I'd rather have you grab my hair, slap me across the face, tear open my blouse, stick your cock in my mouth, and force me to blow you. I really didn't mean for you to do that." "Oh, okay," said Joe. "Sorry, Kath, I was trying to be accommodating rather than needy like Freddie, that little bitch." "Please don't start fighting over me," she said. When Kath turned away he stuck his tongue out at me and I gave him the finger. Oh, yeah, we were mature men alright. Then, I thought about what she said. Did she expect us to fight over her? I'll never figure women out, I swear. "I was just trying to be a man, a manly man, a macho man, and a man's man, you know, like one of those European men that you were going on about. I am all Italian, you know," said Joe. "I know," she said. "It's okay, Joe, just let go of my hair. That's it; loosen your grip, just a little bit more. That's right, open your fingers and spread them. Ow! Ow! My hair is caught in your ring." Kathy untangled her hair from Joe's ring. "You have quite the grip there, Joe." "Sorry Kath," said Joe. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I guess you got me overly excited by agreeing to blow me." "It's okay, Joe," she said with a smile. "We have a long history and if you guys need me to take care of you sexually," she said flattening down the back of her hair where Joe had messed it. "How can I turn down my best friends when I've been accommodating everyone else? It's understandable to me that you'd want me to blow you, especially after hearing me talk about all the men that I have blown." "I don't believe this," I said to Joe giving him a high five. "If I knew it would be this easy, I would have asked her for a blowjob a long time ago." "Don't get too cocky, Freddie, because I can always change my mind." "Just kidding, Kath, just kidding." "Women don't like being played," she said. "Even if the guy thinks it's his idea, women know otherwise. Women always prefer controlling the sexual encounter." "Wow, I didn't know that about women," I said grateful for the quick lesson in how to treat women. I wish I had a notebook to write some of this stuff down. Definitely, this would help me later in life in how to act with women whether I'm with Kathy or with someone else. I knew that I could learn so much from her. I knew that she could make me a better lover and I couldn't wait to begin my lessons. "Well, c'mon, take off your jeans. Let me see your cocks," she said curling and wiggling her fingers with open palms up while looking from the bulge in my jeans to the bulge in Joe's jeans and back again. "Show me what you got," she said with a laugh. "I always wondered what your cocks would look like. I've always wondered if you guys were circumcised or cut." "Really? You've wondered about our cocks," said Joe. "It's just normal curiosity, Joe, especially whenever I was over your houses and up in your bedroom while you were still in your pajama bottoms. Yeah, I wondered what your cocks would look like." She laughed, "There's been more than a few times I gave a glanced at your obvious erections that were hidden in your jeans." I couldn't believe she wondered about my cock. I imagined her fantasizing over my cock. I imagined her masturbating to the sight of my cock. "So," I said. "Did you think of our cocks when you were taking a bath?" "If you are asking me if I masturbated over your cocks, you could imagine that I did, if that gets you sexually excited," she said with her famous sexy smile. Even though I figured that she didn't fantasize and masturbate over my cock, it was exciting to think that she had. "Unlike Freddie, I don't need that thought to get sexually excited over you," said Joe. "I'm already excited." Before I could even unbuckle and unzip my pants, Joe already had his pants down around his ankles and was stepping out of them while pulling down his boxers. He had a bigger cock then me. It must be an Italian thing. He was all Italian and I was only half. Still, what I lacked in girth, I had more than he did in length. "Kath?" "What?" "Can you get topless? I like feeling tits when I'm getting a blowjob," I said while unbuckling my pants and unzipping them. "Besides, I've always lusted, dreamt, and fantasized over seeing and touching your tits." "Okay," she said unbuttoning her blouse. Someone pinch me. I must be dreaming. I couldn't believe she said okay. I couldn't believe she was taking off her blouse. "Thank you," I said. "Sorry," I said when she shot me a look. I was sounding needy again. "Only, you have to promise that you can't suck my tits 'cause that really gets me going. I don't mind blowing you, but fucking you is different and if you start sucking my nipples, then I'll be a wild woman." I would have promised her anything at that point just to get a gander and a feel of her magnificent breasts, breasts that I have dreamt about ever since she had breasts, while she blew me. "Scouts honor," I said. "I cross my heart and hope to die. Should lightning strike me dead if I suck on your nipple—" "Okay, okay, enough, you're giving me a headache and that's not a good thing if you want me to still blow you." I wanted to say sorry, but I didn't. "Stuff it, bitch." Fuck! I couldn't believe I said that. It just came out of my mouth. "Freddie," she said shooting me a dirty look. "You're pushing your luck." Shit. Well, she wanted me to act like a man and suddenly, I was a Hell's Angel biker. Then, I thought, well, why is she telling us all this information about what turns her on and what makes her wild? Either she was telling us this because she didn't want us to turn her into a wild woman by sucking her tits or she was telling us this because she wanted us to suck her tits and turn her into a wild woman. That's the thing that makes me crazy with women. How do you know what they want when they say exactly what they want and you think that they are saying the opposite of what they want because of all the times they have been saying the opposite of what they want when you think they have been saying what they want? Yeah, if you think you're confused, how do you think I feel now not knowing if she wants me to suck her nipples or not. Now what? "We promise not to suck your nipples," said Joe. He gave me the John Belushi one eyebrow up look. I was glad that Joe had her figured out because I didn't have a clue. I watched her unbutton her blouse to reveal a pale yellow bra. Then, she stood and unzipped her skirt. My cock grew harder with the site of her standing there in her bra and panty. I can't tell you how many times I dreamt of seeing her in her bra and panty. I can't tell you how many scenarios I imagined while jerking off over her standing in her bra and panty. Now, here she is standing before me in her bra and panty. She had an athletic body and a better body than I had imagined. Her stomach was flat and toned and her thighs were shapely. The sunlight from the window behind her illuminated the opening at the top of her thighs where the cotton material of her panty covered her perfect pussy. The light that flowed between her legs promised whoever removed her panty not only a sexual experience but also a religious experience. Suddenly, I heard music and I knew the angels had come down from Heaven to bless this sexual experience that I was about to— "It's my Mom," said Joe answering his cell phone. I have to go. Fuck! Do you believe this? She has perfect timing." I was glad that Joe was leaving but nervous at the same time. He was my buffer. Now, I'd be alone with the man magnet, the sexy siren, the more sexual experienced women, my dream woman, Kathy. "It's okay, Joe," she said walking to him and giving him a long, wet kiss while her hand felt the weight of his fat cock. She leaned down and gave the head of his cock a kiss and a lick. "I owe you a blowjob." She made me swoon with envy when she kissed him. She made me jealous with desire for her when she kissed and licked his cock. She made Joe so excited that when he went to pull his pants up and zip them, he nearly caught his cock in his zipper. "Gees, that was close," he said. "Do you want me to go? Should I leave," I said with my pants around my knees, as I watched Joe leave her bedroom and closing the door behind him. Why did I just ask that? What the Hell is wrong with me? Do you want me to go? What the Hell is wrong with you asking her that? I couldn't believe I said that to her. "How am I going to blow you if you leave," she said with a sexy smile. Well, I was glad that she had sense enough to make light of my dumb question. "You make a good point and have convinced me to stay," I said with a nervous laugh. "Show me your cock. I want to see it," she said staring down at the bulge in my briefs. "Okay, yeah, sure," I was so nervous. I had waited years for this day and here it was. I nearly fell trying to kick my feet out of my pant legs without taking my sneakers off first. Then, I nearly got a cramp in my calf when I pulled my foot too hard. Finally, I was free from my pants and I accommodated her by pulling down my briefs to reveal my stiff erection that stood straight out. I mean, it was so stiff that I could have hung wet laundry on it to dry. "It's beautiful," she said staring at it. "You have a beautiful cock, Freddie, and I can't wait to suck it. I can't wait to taste your warm cum and swallow you," she said making eye contact. "Only, if you don't mind, before I blow you, I'd like to show you my tits, first." "Mind? Nah, I don't mind. Sure, yeah, I'd love to see your tits...first," I said laughing. "Tits should always be seen before receiving a blowjob." Shut the fuck up, I said to myself. You're going to ruin everything. Tits should always be seen before receiving a blowjob. Where did you come up with that shit? What's wrong with you? Just stop talking and enjoy the moment. Okay? My mind was whirling. In the way that she looked at me, I wondered if she was going to get naked. Then, when she reached her hands around behind her and unhooked her bra, I didn't, I couldn't breathe. As if in slow motion, I watched her lower the straps from her shoulders, first one and then the other. As if she was doing a mini striptease, she held her bra in place with a hand to her cups while flashing me a sexy look. Then, she peeled her bra down before pulling it completely off. "Okay," I said giving Joe the official John Belushi one eyebrow up from Animal House, only I was so nervous that forgot he had already left. He was no longer there. He was gone and I was alone with Kathy in her room while she was topless and in her tiny, sheer bikini panty and I was bottomless with my cock sticking straight out and as hard as it has ever been. Once I had the chance, I knew that I'd be sucking her tits and fucking her, too. Her tits were amazing. Symmetrically perfect, although the right one was just a wee bit bigger and higher up than the left one, but who cares. Her big nipples were already erect and I couldn't wait to suck them. Only, I couldn't wait to kiss her first. Definitely, she passed the test. Definitely, she wasn't a lesbian. In the next chapter Freddie finally gets his dream woman. * Thank you for reading my story. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Please take a moment to vote, make a public comment, and/or give me feedback. Your support is why I write. Your feedback will motivate me to write a better story the next time. If you haven't already, please take moment to add me and/or this story or any other of my stories to your list of favorites. Thanks, Freddie, Bostonfictionwriter. To be continued...