11 comments/ 21010 views/ 16 favorites A Flaming Pile of Christmas By: luvthedesserts --- Don't take it serious. It might be metaphorical. --- * It was a typical Saturday morning for Lucas. He woke up disoriented and hungover. The ceiling he stared up at through a fog appeared familiar. It would have if he were actually staring up at the ceiling. But he wasn't. He was face down on the coffee table completely naked. The only bright spot in the fog he found himself in were the sexiest set of toes staring up at him. The fact that toes don't have eyes is beside the point. They were red and perfect. A complete set on both feet. It was an improvement for him. He watched them flex and wiggle a bit as he blinked, or they did. He wasn't confident which one did. Why he was naked wasn't a mystery. He generally ended a Friday night naked. The coffee table was a new twist. Luckily the glass hadn't shattered when he fell or crawled or whatever he did to mount the thing. Hopefully he'd used a condom. He didn't want to have to support a little mocha table, or tea stand, or whatever their coupling would create. He'd have to look up the statute on whether or not he'd committed a crime last night. "Are you awake?" The annoyed female voice was loud and piercing. "No. I'm Lucas. You've got amazing toes." "What?" They disappeared from his view. He rolled over and heard a sharp intake of air and a shriek. Yep. It was his ceiling. He saw the perfect triangle stain above the ceiling fan. It was in the shape of a slice of pepperoni pizza. He noticed the black lace bra hanging from one of the blades. Decent. Almost sexy. "Is that yours?" He pointed at it. "No. Would you cover yourself or put some clothes on." "Was I wearing that?" "I don't know. It was here when we got here." "Huh." Lucas raised his head to see a leggy brunette pretending not to ogle him. When she saw him notice her, she jerked around to look the other way. Her back was ramrod straight. There was an amazing ass right underneath it. She was wearing a cute little pair of flannel pajamas and a tank top. "A great ass and sexy feet. I must have piled on the bullshit pretty thick last night." He lowered his head back down on the table and closed his eyes. "You didn't pick me up in a bar. I'm your brother's girlfriend. I have a hell of a lot higher standards than you." "Seriously? My brother and standards don't usually go together." Lucas rolled off the table and hit the floor with a loud thump. "Oh. I get it. You let him bang you cause he has money." "Excuse Me? Listen asshole, I'm not one of your whores you bring home. I'm..." "Would you shut up." Lucas covered his ears to shield his brain from her shrill voice. "Either shut up or blow me. I really don't care which. I'm hungover and your voice is probably the least sexy thing you've got going on." Lucas opened one eye to see her ass wiggling away in a huff. His chuckle only made it wiggle faster. With a giant stretch and a yawn, he got to his feet and staggered to the bathroom. When he had complete control of his vision, he looked down at a fully erect penis staring up at him. "Are you just morning wood or are you for her?" His penis didn't say a word. It just kept looking up at him. There was no way he was going to be able to take a piss with it like that. He eyed the tub slash shower and then thought better of it. He made his way to the kitchen to find a fresh brewed pot of coffee. She was hot in a blurry sort of way and could cook. Not bad. Still, she let his brother bang her. She had to be some sort of sadomasochist. Maybe she'd lost a bet with Satan. His brother was a tool. More like a self-centered moron in love with his own hand. They had been inseparable in high school. Sharing a room with a guy constantly jerking off was unsettling at best, down right creepy at worst. How the poor kid survived high school without having to drag around an IV to keep some fluids in him, was a mystery. "What the hell are you doing?" The sexy ass and toes exclaimed from behind him. Her shrill voice caused Lucas to wince in pain. He was standing in the doorway of the cabin he called a home, peeing. The stream of golden liquid damn near reached eye level at its peak before falling back to earth to land on the snow covered front porch. He took a sip of coffee and peered at her over his shoulder. "Could you speak with your inside voice? Is that too much to ask? I'm hungover. I have to assume you know the feeling. It has to be the only way you'd ever allow my brother to get in your pants." "You're a pig." "No. I'm a man. Men have needs and bodily functions. Right now I need to pee. If you and your sister are still here when I sober up, I'll need to fuck. Not really picky which one of you pretends not to like it." "What's wrong with you?" After his bladder was empty, he closed the door and faced her. She was twenty feet away glaring through him. Lucas noticed two things. One was that her left nipple was staring at him rather aggressively. Secondly, her right nipple was staring at him wantonly. "God, those are cute." "Excuse me?" "Your nipples. Are you just sexy everywhere? Seriously woman, Chris is a complete ass. You have to aim higher in life. Set some goals. Start with self-esteem and work up from there." "Would you put some clothes on?" Lucas noticed her tone was a bit less abrasive. Her eyes wandered lower and his gaze followed hers. His pecker was still staring at him and he was pretty sure it winked. "Well, I guess you aren't morning wood. Good taste, buddy." He looked back to the girl who was now blushing. "Put some clothes on." She almost begged. "It's my house. Take yours off." The ass wiggled away again. He could get used to that. It didn't seem too difficult to cause. Lucas grabbed another cup of coffee and wandered back to the bathroom. The shower turned into a bath as his head pounded away without mercy. Everytime he closed his eyes, the image of ten little toes appeared before him. He was humming away to himself when he saw her head peek around the corner. She had an anxious expression on her face. It was a good look for her. It was the first time he really saw her almost clearly. She was cute. Dark eyes, pouty lips, just cute. "Where's your sister?" "I don't have a sister." "Who was that other girl standing next to you earlier?" He waved a hand at her. "Never mind. That was probably me. What's your name?" "Kristen. Are you almost done in there? I need to pee." "So pee." The cute face turned a bit hate filled. "Are you always an ass?" "No...probably. Are you always so uptight?" "I'm not uptight. I just don't like assholes." "Good to know. So...no anal for you. I can live with that." His chuckle bounced off the walls of the bathroom as her face went white and then disappeared. He was a bit disappointed he didn't see her ass jiggling away. The face reappeared less then two minutes later. "Seriously, I need to pee. Get your ass up and get out of there." "Not gonna happen. If I stand up right now, I'm gonna toss up whatever I ate last week. Either go out on the porch like a man or get over yourself and use the toilet." The stare down was intense. On her part anyway. He was still staring at her nipples. Odd. They were still staring at him. With a growl and what he assumed was a silent wish for the most horrible death imaginable, she stepped into the bathroom. "Look the other way." She snapped. With a happy sigh, Lucas closed his eyes and relaxed lower into the tub. He began humming again. The toilet seat slammed down causing him to wince. Her satisfied chuckle was blatant. "So, where is Limp-dick?" "Excuse me?" "Mr. Premature Ejaculator, the Phantom Whacker, the guy who leaves you hanging when he rolls off you at night after a solid forty-five seconds of grunting. You know...my brother." Lucas heard a slight giggle. It was soft and feminine, but it was there. "I don't hear any tinkle tinkle. I thought you had to go." "I can't." "Take the broomstick out of your ass. It helps. I swear." "Asshole." With his toe, he turned the knob to the hot water. "So, where is Wonder boy?" "You really don't like your brother, do you?" "Not really. I had to buy this cabin for twice its real value. He couldn't just let me have it when the folks died. I was willing to let everything else go. The boat, the house, but nope, Chris had to be the selfish prick he is. I'm sure you've met that side of him." Lucas looked up at her as she stared down at him. "Mr. I'll reciprocate next time." The corner of her mouth twitched for a second. A bit later a smile appeared. "Wow. Now that's more like it. I don't mind angry sex every so often, but that's a face I could get used to." He took a peek at the bit of thigh she was showing. "And legs too. Am I still drunk or are you just all sex and lips? You can't be dating Chris. God isn't that cruel." He leaned his head back down and closed his eyes. The toilet flushed and then she reached over and turned off the faucet. Lucas fell asleep sometime after that. He woke when the water got cold. Getting out, he found he could stand up without the room spinning too badly. He toweled off and walked back into the front room, the towel left on the bathroom floor. Kristen was curled up in an overstuffed chair reading a book. When she heard his footsteps she looked up and stared. Her smile was as beautiful as a crisp morning sunrise. It stopped Lucas in his tracks. He followed her eyes to his crotch again. His eyes shared her amusement when they came back up to meet hers. "It's called shrinkage. The water got cold. I'm guessing you're used to something about this size." She didn't say a word. She just giggled quietly to herself and went back to reading. Lucas headed to his bedroom and found some clean clothes. He grabbed two slices of pizza and the last of the coffee and sat down on the couch. The bra was gone and the room was kind of clean. The pile of clothes, papers, and most of the clutter had disappeared. "You clean?" "The place was a mess. I got tired of looking at the bra so I started cleaning. I'm gonna need a tetanus shot when I get back to civilization." "A joke. Nice. I see you're in a better mood. I take it you rubbed one out thinking of me." Again with the not so subtle death wish look. Lucas spotted a slight color creep into her cheeks. He stared until she blinked her hate-you eyes and turned back to her book. "Fine. Don't admit it. I got two questions for you. Where is the moron and why are you here? I'm pretty sure I didn't invite Mr. Buttmuncher to my cabin in the woods for Christmas." "You've got to be the most immature guy I've ever met. Your brother doesn't put you down behind your back like this. He's mature and caring and any women would be glad to be with him. I have to assume you're just jealous of his success." "Can you answer a simple question? Where and why. It's not rocket science." "He went back to town for groceries. You've got nothing in the house but pizza and peanut butter. We're here because he missed you. He regrets the way you two left things and wanted to make amends. That's what mature men do." "No it isn't. Mature men do the exact opposite. When they hate someone they either kick the crap out of them or never see them again." Lucas smiled and winked at her between bites of pizza. "I'm so mature I did both. The little pecker took a swing at me and I knocked him out with one punch. I'm betting you could take a punch better than he does." Before she could fire back her phone rang. The conversation was quick and animated. Lucas got bored halfway through and went off to take a piss. He was washing up when she appeared in the doorway fully dressed to go out. "Chris is in the hospital." "What?" Lucas shook his head and grabbed the towel to dry his hands. "Did his penile implant finally rupture?" "He slipped on some ice and hit his head, you asshole." "Okay?" She stared at him angry and expectant, which forced another question out of him. "What?" "I need a ride to the hospital." "Why? Are you a doctor?" "Get your shit together, stop acting like such a prick, and drive me to the fucking hospital." "Honey, I can barely see how sexy you look mad. There's no way I can drive you anywhere. Relax. I'm sure he'll be fine. And if he isn't, who really cares. It's not like he means a whole lot to you." "What the hell does that mean?" "You're a gold digger, aren't you? Or is that why your mad. He hasn't married you yet. If he kicks before you have his name, all your fake orgasms are wasted." The slap was a good one. Crisp, clean, she even rotated her hips to get a decent whip action. Lucas had been slapped a few times. A few dozen times to be almost accurate. He wasn't ashamed to cry. He didn't of course. Well he did, but he could blame the vomiting for that. His pizza and coffee came up and landed in the toilet. He was a professional puker. High school parties, college frat parties, a dozen bachelor parties, and more strip club incidents then his criminal record showed. He hadn't missed the target in over a decade. Miss sexy ass wasn't so refined. The contents of her stomach hit the floor and the door. Despite the stabbing pain right behind his eye, Lucas laughed. He was starting to love Saturday mornings. While she was dry heaving and swearing at him with impressive enunciation, he brushed his teeth. Grabbing the towel from the floor, he wiped down the door and then pushed a pile of what looked like uptight yuppie flakes into a nice organized lump and left the towel over it. She followed him to the kitchen to watch him grab a glass of water and stare out the window at the first snowflakes of the day. "What are you doing?" Her exasperated voice was getting grating again. He was almost feeling sorry for his brother. "I'm looking out the window at a blizzard. Sorry, can't make it to town in this." She stared out the window at a few lazy flakes drifting in the still morning air. "Your brother could be slipping into a coma, and you're playing Little Miss Hold-a-grudge? Grow up." She was in his face screaming. "Fine. I'll take you." He finally relented with an exasperated sigh of resignation. "You gotta do me one favor first." "What?" "Brush your teeth." He saw the instinct to slap him flash in her mind. It was pretty blatant. Her jaw clenched, her sexy brown eyes dilated, and he could see her heartbeat in a vein running down the curve of her neck. A very kissable curve of her neck. His tiny smirk at her cheeks turning red didn't help. In a huff, her ass wiggled away. The hips didn't move too bad either. He was standing with the driver's side door open and holding his keys in the air when she stepped out of the cabin. She stared at him for a moment and then walked up to look at him with suspicion and a wee bit of hatred. "You're driving." He instructed. She grabbed the keys and slid in. When he hopped in the other side, she was staring at him. "It's a manual." "Yea?" "I don't know how to drive a manual." "Men call it a stick. I'm betting you've handled a few." She ignored his bad joke and unsubtle innuendo. He didn't blame her. He'd already used up his best lines and had only made the ice thicker. "Well, today you're gonna learn. Push in the clutch and start it up." Her first attempt came to a lurching stop. Her second, third, and twentieth ended the same way. They'd barely gotten fifty feet when he decided to slide closer to shift for her. "If we die, don't be surprised if I go out with my hands on your tits." The laugh she gave him was actually real. It took an hour to get to town. By the time she pulled into the small hospital parking lot she could actually drive a stick. From time to time, he'd even caught her looking at him without hatred in her eyes. There was even a civilized conversation to go with it as they drove. Lucas sat down in a chair in the waiting room while Kristen got the information from a receptionist. He was scanning a magazine of ads. After about eighty pages, he still hadn't found an article. He saw legs and then looked up to see Kristen staring down at him. "He's in room one twelve" "Do you need help counting that high?" Yep. The hatred was back. Damn she was cute. Her ass wiggled away with her back perfectly straight. With his vision completely clear her legs were even nicer. What the hell was her deal? How could a woman like that like his brother? Women were jigsaw puzzles. If they didn't hate you, they just wanted you dead. It was the curious law of the universe. She came back after an hour and had to shake Lucas awake. Dear brother Chris had a concussion and had to stay overnight. Odd how that worked out. It was almost convenient. Lucas was beginning to think Saturdays were his favorite day in the entire world. Kristen was able to drive to the tiny grocery store without killing the pickup once. A leisurely tour of the eight aisles resulted in only a few glares from her. With six bags of groceries, they headed out of town. She was able to shift all by herself on the drive home. Despite her attempt not to, she smiled. Lunch was made, a nap was taken, and when the sun set, a fire was started in the fireplace. Lucas popped a frozen lasagna in the oven and sat down to stare at the fire and contemplate how to get her drunk enough to bang. He liked simple pleasures in life. Beer, fishing, and really regrettable sex with random angry girlfriends of his brother. Christmas was the perfect time of year. They sat next to each other on stools in the kitchen. A decent bottle of wine was opened and already half consumed. She'd loosened up enough to allow the broom to rest in the corner by the fridge. "Explain it to me." Lucas took a sip of wine and stared at her. "How does something like you end up with Mr. Honorary Urinal Cake?" "Wow." Kristen rolled her eyes. "Your brother is in the hospital and you still throw insults. And what do you mean by something like me?" "Something beautiful and exotic. You can clean a house, read a book, and drive a stick. If you tell me you know how to fish, I just might hump your leg." She hid the smile behind her wineglass. Lucas saw it. The subtle curve of her soft lips moved upwards for the briefest moments. He distinctly heard a bit of ice fall to the floor. She was thawing. Or getting drunk. She could go both ways. He hoped she could. It would be a hell of a home video. "That's your ideal woman, is it?" "She doesn't necessarily have to read. I don't mind picture books. Now, answer the question." "We met at a dinner party. He was charming, sophisticated, and didn't insult me every other sentence. Your exact opposite. Funny how that works out." "Not really. I used to be those things, but then I stopped pretending just to get laid. I'd rather be honest with a woman." "And how's that working for you?" "Fantastic. I'm eating an average meal with the second most beautiful woman who's ever been in this cabin." "The second? Who scored higher than me?" Lucas smiled at her. He saw the flash of competition in her eyes. Jealousy was an amazing motivator. "My Mother. She used to sit all day in the chair you read your book in. She'd curl up in a blanket and waste away the day. My two most favorite Christmases were here. We used to put a tree in the corner and decorate it just like most people. When I was ten, a spark lit the tree up like a roman candle. Flames went everywhere. It was awesome. Chris started wetting the bed again after that one." "That's your favorite? A traumatic memory that left your brother scarred." "Nope, that one was just a fond memory. My two favorite are all sweet and cuddly and none of your business." She stared for a moment as he smiled a thin indifferent smile back at her. She wanted to ask the question. It was right on the tip of her tongue. Instead, she gave a dismissive shake of her head. "So where's the tree? You don't celebrate Christmas?" A Flaming Pile of Christmas Lucas faked a sorrowful face and shook his head. "The only family I have is in a hospital bed on a respirator about to die. Christmas is cancelled this year." "He's not on a respirator. He's just got a concussion. You just can't help being an ass." "A girl can dream, can't she?" He shot her his best smile. "So...are we gonna have sex or can I go to bed?" "Excuse me?" Kristen choked on her wine. Her hand tried to catch the liquid as it spilled out of her mouth. "Sex. You know what that is, don't you? Oh, that's right. You've been faking it for too long to remember. It's that thing where you get naked and wrestle around for an hour or so until you're exhausted and cross-eyed." "Yea, I remember what it is. And NO. We aren't gonna have your version of sex." "What's your version?" "That's none of your business." Lucas shrugged and wandered out of the kitchen aiming his parting shot over his shoulder. "I cooked, you clean. House rules." The noise in the house settled down after a few plates were washed as loudly as humanly possible. The fire settled down to embers. The snow fell silently and the all things in Lucas' world were perfect. He dodged a few flying daggers from Kristen's eyes and was able to see her legs in a pair of tight flannel pajamas. The ass was just as cute as earlier in the day. He didn't mind the daggers and he was falling in love with the ass. He was stirring the coals just for the fun of it when he felt a cold draft. Turning, he saw Kristen wander out the front door to watch the snow fall. She disappeared for a moment and then screamed out in pain. When Lucas got to the door she was on her spectacular ass holding her ankle and cussing. "What happened?" "I slipped on your fucking piss, you asshole." "Huh. That's not a phrase I ever expected to hear." "I think I sprained my ankle." "But is you butt okay?" "What? Help me up, you prick." Lucas made a mental note to lock his bedroom door tonight. There was definite murder in her eyes. Despite his almost sincere effort to take it serious, he really couldn't help but laugh as he scooped her up in his arms and carried her through the front door. Up close, she smelled really good. Pain didn't seem to be an aphrodisiac for her. She was still swearing. The wine caused her to create new combinations and a few sexual positioned he'd have to try out by himself. They sounded painful, but he was a gamer. He dropped her on the couch and inspected the damage. Her sexy little toes were fine. He wiggled each and every one. His fingers poked and prodded up her calf until he took a vicious slap to the top of the head. All she ended up with was a sprained ankle. Grabbing a bucket, he went out the front door and scooped up some non-yellow snow. He dropped it in front of her and ordered her to put her foot in it. Don't you have any ice? "I have snow. It's almost just like frozen water. Amazing, huh?" Lucas was beginning to realize why she was dating his brother. It was the little things that clued him in. Shrill annoying voice, a bit of a temper, and not so good with the sciences. He grabbed her ankle and guided it into the bucket and packed the snow around it. She whimpered from the cold, but tolerated it with a few more descriptive comments. This time she was getting personal. A few of her suggestions were just anatomically impossible to do alone. Looking up from between her legs, he saw her staring at him with that same level of hate he was becoming used to. "You never answered me." "About what?" She snapped. "Your ass. Is your ass okay? That's what matters most." "What the hell does that mean?" "Fine. I hate being sincere. It's against my nature, but here goes. You've got the most amazing ass I've ever seen. It's the cutest damn thing ever. Why do you think I've been pissing you off so much? You walking away mad is the only way I can catch a good view of it. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to masturbate later in honor of its existence." Lucas watcher her brain wander about trying to understand what he'd just said. It went from flattered to irritated to almost really disturbed. "Please don't ever be sincere again." "Okay...but is it okay?" There was real concern in his eyes when he looked up at her. "I don't think I could live with the knowledge that I broke your butt. Some things a man just can't get over." She gave him an all too familiar eye roll and exasperated sigh. And then she began to wiggle in discomfort. "Damn it, my panties are wet." "Hmm. So my foreplay is working. Nice." "I fell in the snow, you jackass. Don't flatter yourself." "So what do you want me to do about your panties?" "Absolutely nothing. Just help me to the bedroom." Up in his arms she went. She had to smack him when he started for his bed. A soft chuckle from him, an irritated scowl from her, and a rather weak attempt at a punch to his chest. He plopped her on the spare bed and grabbed her luggage. She was vehement he didn't go through her things, but since she was lying with her ankle up in the air, she really couldn't walk the ten steps to stop him. His hands dove in and began critiquing each piece of silky fabric she had. By the time he'd selected his favorite for her, she was sharpening a machete in her mind and already buying the lime to dispose of the body. Sadly, she refused his offer to help her undress. She was smarter than she looked. "Well, scream out my name like your having an orgasm if you need me. I'll come running." Lucas said as he left her room for the night. The next morning was beautiful. Snow had continued to fall all night and the world was a magnificent and peaceful place. Lucas was sipping a cup of coffee and staring out the window when his world shattered with the shrill voice of Kristen yelling his name. Well, screaming "Asshole." He was eighty percent sure she meant him. Wandering in to her room, she was staring at him with her dark hair all messed up and propped up on some pillows. "I need to pee." "All right." He helped her to the bathroom, helped her out, and set her gently on the couch. He handed her a cup of coffee and sat down next to her. "So, what do you want for breakfast?" He looked at her from over his cup. "You cook?" "I can if I have reason. Cooking for a damsel in a dress is a decent reason. I make a pretty decent peanut butter pancake. I'd like to see a bit more thigh on you. Something to grab onto at night." Kristen blushed behind her coffee cup, but stayed mute. She actually smiled once. It was a good start to a Sunday. Maybe it was because it was Christmas Eve day. "Are you gonna commit to pancakes?" She gave him a shrug. "All right." Lucas stood up and held out his hands for her. She looked up confused. "I need to smell you fingers." "What?" "I need to know if I need to add chocolate syrup or not." "Still not following you." Her hands were tentatively rising up towards him. Lucas gave her scowl. "It's pretty simple. If you rubbed one out last night, you don't need chocolate syrup. If you're still all sexually repressed, I'll have to drown your pancake in chocolate. It's not rocket science." It was an impressive reaction. Her face turned a deep scarlet and her hands were yanked back to her lap. A distant sonic boom from the speed of it all caused an avalanche two valleys over. She had that same murder-you-later look in her eyes from last night. It was cute. "A righty, huh?" His eyes found her right hand clenched in a tight ball. Lucas walked to the kitchen chuckling softly. Breakfast was a solemn affair. No words, no subtle glances, just a man and a hate-filled brunette with the cutest lips he'd seen in awhile. For fun, he placed the bottle of chocolate syrup on the coffee table. She eyed it like it was poison, and then shrugged and added it to her pancakes. After a tentative first bite, a muscle twitched in her lip. It was the start of a smile. Her eyes narrowed when she caught Lucas watching her. He chuckled again when a soft rosy color shaded her kissable cheeks. For whatever reason, she decided she wanted to leave and never come back. After some negotiations, he relented and helped her get some control of her appearance by running a bath, and swearing on the grave of his soon-to-be favorite brother not to peek. He was actually a good boy. Did everything she asked. Laid out her clothes, gave her space, there was even a hint of gentlemen showing through the stubble. He'd even shaved once he realized it had been a week. He was just wiping his face when "Asshole," drifted through the cabin to tickle his ears. He opened her door to find her sitting on the bed fully dressed and struggling to get a shoe onto her injured foot. "I'll carry you. It's not a big deal." His two-hour gentleman act had calmed her hatred to a simmer. He shuttled her luggage to the front door and then scooped her up in his arms. She was staring at his smooth cheek when he turned to look at her. "What?" "You shaved." "Yea?" "Why?" Lucas shrugged and headed for the front door. "I caught a glimpse of your thighs. I figured they were sensitive. Not a big deal." When he snuck a peek at her, she had that lip twitching problem and a bit of color. Maybe she had a fever. She grabbed the door and opened it. They stopped in the doorway and gazed upon a winter wonderland. Four feet of snow had buried everything. Only the cab of the pickup was visible. The snow was still swirling around the cabin. Snowflakes danced like little fairy princesses in the breeze. Visibility was barely twenty feet. It was beautiful to Lucas. He just stood there, admiring the amazing scene created. If he were the crying type, he would have cried. Of course, Kristen's voiced interrupted his perfect day again. "Can you drive in this?" "Not a chance." "How are we going to get out?" "In a few days a neighbor of mine will wander in with a snowplow. Till then, we can cuddle." Her eyes went from the scene outside to Lucas' eyes as they stared down at her extremely pointy nipples to her extremely pointy nipples. She actually growled. Her body tensed. His smirk and eyebrow wiggle didn't help. "You helped me get ready. I took a bath. Packed my things. Why?" "You're not the brightest, are you? It was fun. I got to see your legs, your thighs, and that sexy little neck all shiny and wet. You're in my arms at the moment. I didn't have anything better to do. We're stuck here for Christmas...maybe New Years." He noticed a slight twinkle in her scowl. Maybe she was getting cabin fever. Or maybe just picturing Lucas in a decent hollandaise sauce. The snow was coming down pretty good. Lucas didn't blame her for pondering cannibalistic thoughts. He'd done the same when he saw her thighs earlier. "You've ruined Christmas. My favorite time of year and you destroyed it. You asshole." "It's not ruined. There's a pine tree air freshener in the pickup. I could super glue it to my stomach and you could spend the night playing with my package. It could double as mistletoe if you'd like." Before she could describe something painful, he kissed her. Her lips were right there. Inches away. Soft. Delicate. They still had the hint of chocolate. Bitter chocolate at first. Once his tongue met hers, the chocolate melted a bit and the growl was a bit less hate-filled. Lucas kicked the door closed and headed for his bedroom. There was no smack to the back of his head this time. Her tongue was a whirlwind. Her lips tugged and pulled and tried to consume him. Lucas found himself growling back at her. He was planning on being all smooth and caring with her, but decided to throw her on the bed instead. She bounced two feet into the air. Before she landed, she'd ripped her shirt off and was working on a red lace bra. Another sonic boom occurred as Lucas stripped. It would be spring before anyone could get to them with the avalanches it caused. She was unbuttoning her pants when he caught hold of the cuffs of her jeans and began pulling her down to the foot of the bed. She was whimpering and struggling to get her pants unzipped enough to slide off her hips. With a cry of triumph, she began to claw her way back up the bed as her pants hit the wall behind Lucas. Her red frilly panties were the only thing standing in his way. He hated them. Hated them with a fiery passion. They were halfway down her thighs from the struggle with her pants. Lucas didn't even notice. His eyes had found the promise land. It stopped him for a millisecond. At that exact moment, time seemed to slow down as he gazed upon the silky folds of her labia. They glistened in the morning light coming through the bedroom window. He didn't have time to wonder how the sun broke through the clouds at that exact moment. He was too busy trying not to blink. There was a moment of intense introspective. Lucas realized he was the crying type. Just a tiny tear. It appeared at the corner of his eyes and caught the sunlight to reflect a cornucopia of colors to complete the scene perfectly. "You shaved." His voice cracked a little as he voiced his observation. "I thought your lips might be sensitive." Their eyes met for one brief pregnant pause. And then he was on her. They were like too horny yaks. Grunting, snorting, and a whole lot of hair pulling. Lucas thought he saw a tear in the corner of her eye the first time he slid his cock into her. He certainly did. He was turning into a crybaby. Her womanhood engulfed him. No matter how many times he experienced it, womanhood just never sounded as sexy as it felt. Their hips were nearing the speed of sound as her arms circled him and began to claw. The springs of the bed were cheering the way bedsprings cheer while they have sex vicariously. His lips found her lips and then her lips. Lucas tasted the sweetest taste in the world. With her thighs gently caressing his face in a death lock as she writhed and groaned, his tongue and lips tortured her clitoris. It took three full minutes for her to scream out his name. In a good way this time. They ended the three-hour sex-a-thon with her on top grinding him into submission. He didn't have the heart to tell her he was already broken. His hands never left her breasts. Those perfect pointy nipples that weren't afraid to make eye contact at the slightest hint of a chill. Monday morning was a new experience. Lucas stared up at the ceiling. He saw the triangle shaped stain, the ceiling fan, and a red lace bra on a fan blade. He tried to roll over, but his ass was stuck to the glass coffee table. He knew he broke a few laws last night. He nudged Kristen with a subtle smack to her ass. "Is that yours?" Her eyes opened and looked up to where he was pointing. "Yes." "Was I wearing that?" "Yes." Lucas sighed and rolled off the coffee table onto the floor with a loud thump. "Did I ruin Christmas?" "Yes." "Want me to ruin New Years?" "Yes."