5 comments/ 7034 views/ 2 favorites Cooking with the Monkey By: RedMonkeyButt I've never really been one to make a huge pot of stew and have it sitting in my fridge for a week. If I'm going to cook a lot of food for a large party of guests, though, I do like to go all out. For the purpose of this little How-To, I'm going to walk you through the makings of an entire Tex-Mex meal. Note that I said Tex-Mex, not Mexican. I do not live in Mexico and therefore, I do not cook Mexican food. The differences between the cuisines will have to be left for another time. Before we start, what is carne guisada? Carne guisada, for me, is a thick, meaty stew-like concoction with enough heat to knock your socks off if you're not careful. It's best served with a side of rice and beans of some sort with a big pile of warm, homemade tortillas to sop up all the juices. Now that you're ready to embark on this adventure, you need to make a list and run to the store to get a few things. I prefer getting my meat from a trusty meat market, but if you don't have one nearby just grab it from the meat section of your local supermarket. You'll want to get as much of the prep work done the day before you have a large group of people wandering through your house looking for food. This takes HOURS to cook, so be warned. Figure out how many people you're going to be feeding and then head off to the store with this list (can be halved): For Carne Guisada:2 serrano peppers2 jalapeno peppers1 onion (yellow or white, doesn't matter)1 head of garlic (you'll need 5 cloves)4 lbs chuck roast (if your supermarket offers cut up stew meat, make it easy on yourself and buy that instead of the whole roast. if you're buying the roast, bone out is best for this application)1 T cumin1 T chili powder1 t oregano¼ c cilantro (adjust this to your taste, I only use about a tablespoon. And for the love of little green men, use fresh!)1 14.5 oz can of diced tomatoes, or 3 fresh tomatoes, dicedbay leavesa bottle of dark Mexican beer, or other dark beer (I prefer to use Shiner Bock, but it's difficult to get outside of Texas)Some flour or other thickening agent (potato starch, corn starch, arrowroot, something like that) For Beans:1 lb pinto beansonionchicken, or other, stocksmoked ham hocks, bacon, or salt porkseasonings to your taste For Rice:1 - 1 ½ c rice (long grain white, basmati, jasmine, etc)1 can tomato sauce1 red bell pepperabout a quarter to half an onionNote: I like to add some corn and peas to my rice, but that's because it adds a little bit more nutrition to it. Add what you want. Preparation If your supermarket does not offer stew meat, which is basically cut up chuck roast, grab a 4 pound roast with NO BONE. I stress this because if you get it with the bone in it, you're going to have to remove the bone as you cut the meat up and that's just a pain in the ass. If you like deboning meat then go right ahead. Anywho, take your slab o' meat and cut it down to about 1-inch cubes. It is ok to not have exactly 1-inch cubes of meat. Set those aside until you're ready to cook them. If you're going to cook them immediately, keep them out. If you're going to cook them tomorrow, put them in a ziploc in the fridge. If you're going to cook them next Thursday, put them in a ziploc and get as much of the air out as possible and stick them in a freezer. If you froze them, pull them out a full day before you are planning to cook and put them in the fridge to thaw. Cooking Now that you have your meat all cut up you're ready to cook. Get out a big pot or a dutch oven. For this amount I use a 7 qt enameled cast-iron dutch oven and it fits just fine. Get that bad boy heating up on your stove with a couple tablespoons of oil in it. The oil doesn't matter (I use olive oil), use what you've got. When it's hot, brown the meat on all sides. You will more than likely have to do this in batches. As the meat browns, chop the peppers and onion and get them ready. Mince your garlic and put it somewhere separate. Remove the meat and set it aside. This is where I make a roux in the bottom of the pan. If you're not using flour to thicken things, you can skip this and add a slurry of starch or throw some arrowroot powder into it later. If you're using flour, you're going to want about ¼ cup of light roux. Get it smooth and let it cook for about 5 minutes. It doesn't have to be dark, but you don't want the raw flour taste because that's not good eats to anyone. When the roux is done, throw in your vegetables. It's going to look disgusting, but just go with it. Stir it CONSTANTLY for a good 5 to 10 minutes. You don't have to break your arm, just keep it moving so nothing burns. Once the vegetables have softened a bit, throw in your garlic and cook it for another minute or so. Throw the meat, tomatoes, spices, cilantro, a couple bay leaves, beer, and 2 cups of water into the pot and mix it really well. Bring the whole thing to a boil and then turn the heat down to a simmer and cook it for 5 hours, stirring occasionally. If you're cooking beans with this, this would be a good time to get those going. The Beans Author's Note: This is my method of making beans. If you already have a good savory bean recipe, use that. I do not soak my beans overnight, nor do I salt them until the very end. Sort your beans and take out anything that's not a bean. Soak them overnight if you must, but I don't. It's seriously not necessary. Get out another large pot and a 32 oz package of chicken broth. Yes, you can use bouillon and water. It's the same thing. Start the stock warming on the stove and get your veggies ready. I roughly chop an onion, a couple of jalapenos, and some parsley or cilantro if I have it. Since you just put carne guisada on the stove, you've got cilantro. Throw all of that in with the stock and add your beans. Throw in any spices (I add cumin, black pepper, and a very small amount of powdered habanero) you like EXCEPT SALT. If you salt your beans right now they can turn out hard later and that's no bueno. Here's where I vary depending on what I'm making. If I'm making refried beans, I add smoked ham hocks. If I'm making a pot of beans for my dad to enjoy, I add salt pork or bacon. If I'm making borracho or charro beans, I add bacon. Do what you want, but know that if you're making refried beans you're going to have to pull the beans out later without as much of the chunky stuff. An alternative with the bacon is to cook it in a pan with some onions and peppers and then puree that in a blender or food processor and add it to the cooking beans. If you're adding salt pork, then score the rind and toss it in. If you're using bacon, cut it into pieces and throw it in. If you're using ham hocks (for the love of little green men, use smoked!) just toss them in. Bring this to a boil for at least an hour if you didn't soak your beans. If you soaked your beans, bring it to a boil and then reduce that to a simmer for several hours. I cook mine the same amount of time as the carne guisada. Stir them occasionally and add water if the liquid gets too low. If you are making refried beans: Using a slotted spoon, scoop as many of the beans into a hot cast-iron skillet as you can. Then use a potato masher to smash them all to hell. Stir them and add a little of the bean liquid to make them smooth out. If you used ham hocks, make sure not to get too many big chunks of the meat. Small chunks are fine as they'll fall apart and mash just fine. Careful of the bones! When the beans are the consistency you like, turn off the heat and serve. The Tortillas You will need: 2 ½ c all purpose flour (you can do this with whole wheat as well, or half all-purpose and half whole wheat)2 ½ t baking powder1 t salt½ c lard or shortening PLUS 2 T1 c hot water (HOT, not boiling) In a mixing bowl, add the flour, baking powder, and salt and stir it to combine. Cut in the lard or shortening with a pastry cutter - it will cut in very easily - until the chunks are pea-sized. Mix in the water until a dough forms. IT WILL BE STICKY. Knead the dough in the bowl (I turn the dough over and rotate the bowl to knead, no need to dirty a counter for this) until it's less sticky. Your hand will be mostly clean when the dough is ready, and it will have cleaned the sides of the bowl. If it seems to be extremely sticky, add in more flour a tablespoon at a time. Now cover it and let it sit for an hour. Go run a load of laundry all the way through. The dough will not rise, it just needs to rest. Go and pull off chunks of the dough and make dough balls. I generally make about a dozen and a half tortillas out of one batch, and those are big fluffy tortillas. If you prefer smaller, thinner tortillas, make more balls. Place the balls on some parchment paper, cover, and let rest for another half hour or so. Now's where it gets messy. On a well floured surface with a well floured rolling pin, roll the dough balls into something that resembles a tortilla. If you prefer thinner tortillas, here's where you want to roll them out really thin. If you like big fluffy tortillas, don't roll them out so thin. Don't be discouraged if they come out looking like an amoeba, you'll get better at making circles with practice. The key is to lift the dough and rotate it fairly often. If you're used to rolling out circles of dough, this should be a cinch. Heat a pan on the stove til it's hot. You're going to be cooking these on a dry skillet. I have a flat cast-iron pan I use to cook my tortillas. Slap the tortilla onto the hot surface and watch in wonder as it bubbles. Flip it and cook the other side. You're going for a nice golden to dark brown color where the dough bubbled, not black. If your pan isn't hot enough, the tortilla will still cook but it will be pale. These are called "tester tortillas" and are meant to be eaten by the cook as a way to sustain their energy as they stand over a hot stove cooking tortillas. You'll get the hang of it and your tortillas will be fine. It's hard to ruin them, really, unless you burn it. Everybody burns at least one, it's no big deal. Put your cooked tortillas into a tortilla warmer (with a paper towel to catch the steam so they don't get soggy) or place them on a tea towel and fold it over. Serve warm with... everything. Note that once you feed your family or friends fresh homemade tortillas, those flavorless circles of cardboard you can buy in the store will not compare. I have made the dough up to three days in advance and kept it in the fridge. It's handy when you only need a few tortillas at a time but don't want to cook the whole batch at once. I have not frozen the dough, so I don't know what would happen if you tried it. The Rice Author's Note: This is my method of cooking Mexican rice. It may not be your method, or you may just not like Mexican rice. I prefer to serve rice with my carne guisada as it tames some of the heat and I just like rice. 1 to 1 ½ c white rice1 can tomato sauce¼ c chopped onion1 chopped red bell pepper¼ cup corn (optional, for those of you out there that like more than rice in your rice)¼ c peas (optional, for those of you out there trying to force more veggies down your family's throat... like me)Some chicken stock, I eyeball this, so I don't have a measurement for you type-A's out there. I'd guess about a cup.Salt to taste In a skillet, toast the rice with a tablespoon or so of oil. Olive oil, vegetable oil, fancy-pants safflower oil, doesn't matter. When the rice starts turning a toasty color and smells... toasty, add in the tomato sauce and the veggies. Stir it around so the rice is nice and coated in the tomato sauce, add enough chicken stock (yes, you can add water but come on! Chicken stock has so much more flavor!) to cover the rice and bring it to a simmer. Cook about 20 minutes, or until the rice is cooked. Yes, you will have to taste it. Bonus Salsa Recipes Roasted Pepper Salsa 2 poblano peppers1 serrano pepper1 jalapeno pepper2-3 tomatillos½ an onionjuice of 1-2 limessalt to taste Preheat your broiler.* Cut the stems off the peppers, slice them in half and remove the seeds. Place them cut side down on a pan. Remove the husks from the tomatillos and rinse the sticky off of them. Cut them in half and place them cut side down on the pan with the peppers. Slice and onion into rings. I used half an onion for this recipe, but a whole onion would be fine. If you're using half, cut it into half-rings. Place these on the pan with everything else. Place the pan on the top rack of your oven right under the broiler. Roast the veggies until they're blistered and black, checking often. The tomatillos will be very juicy, so beware of hot squirting juices! Turn the onions so both sides get charred. Toss everything into a blender or food processor, squeeze the lime juice into it (if you get a lime that doesn't give up a lot of juice, use two) and add a teaspoon of salt or so. I also like to add half a teaspoon of black pepper. Pulse until it's the consistency you prefer. This will keep in the fridge for about a week. If you prefer less heat, leave out the serrano. *As an alternative, if you have a gas stove, you can char the peppers over the gas flame. It's just easier with the bulk of this recipe to put it all under the broiler. Red Salsa 1 can whole peeled tomatoes, or 2-3 fresh tomatoes, peeled1 jalapeno1 serrano½ onionjuice of 1-2 limessalt to tastedash of sugar1 T cilantro (or to taste)1 t cumin (or to taste, I add more) Put all the ingredients in a blender or food processor and pulse until it's the consistency you desire. This will keep in the fridge for about a week. At this time, your carne guisada is done cooking, your beans are done cooking, and you're dead on your feet. Grab a beer and a bowl and for the love of little green men, sit down and dig in. After a full day of cooking, you deserve it. As this is for a group of people (or a week of leftovers) figure on 2-3 tortillas per person. Cooking with the Monkey Pt. 02 As usual, any and all comments and feedback are welcome as long as it's creative. Red Beans and Rice This is a meal my family has at least twice a month. Not only do we love it that much, but it sure beats the shit out of pizza every day of the week and twice on Sunday. I don't generally serve it with a bunch of sides unless I'm serving a crowd, so at the end I will have in italics my notes for serving that crowd. This takes some planning ahead of time, so don't expect to whip this up in a hurry when unexpected company arrives. That is what the pizza is for. Today, and possibly part of yesterday, we are going to make red beans and rice. If you haven't had true Cajun red beans and rice, you don't know what you're missing. Get thyself to the South of Louisiana and bury your ever loving face in a pot of this. You Will Need:16 oz red beans (soak them if you must)1 T bacon grease (can substitute regular cooking oil, but come on! Live on the edge and use pork fat!)1 bell pepper, chopped1 medium yellow onion, chopped2 celery ribs, diced6 cloves of garlic, minced¼ pound andouille sausage, cubed*½ cup of parsley, minced (yeah, I don't use this much)2 bay leaves1 t dried thyme or 1 sprig fresh1 t dried leaf oregano1 t sweet paprika (I've left this out, up to you)1 T Worcestershire sauce (or, if you're like me, just splash some in there til you're happy)Cayenne, salt, and black pepper to taste (1 t cayenne, 1 t salt, ½ t black pepper)2 smoked ham hocks (I use 4-6 ham hocks...)8 cups chicken broth or water**4 green onions, green parts chopped (save the rest for something else, or get them to root in a jar and keep using the green parts that grow)6 cups cooked rice *If you cannot find andouille, use your favorite sausage. Just make sure it's a firm smoked sausage and not something crumbly like breakfast sausage and you'll be fine. Pork/beef sausages work best, though.**Wait til after the first steps in this process to decide if you want to use the chicken broth or do what I do. Please keep in mind that I buy my meat at a meat market. At some point, the pig who belonged to the hocks I am cooking with today was hanging in a freezer. While I was at the market, I may have also bought the pig's shoulder, chops, and bacon. Since I have access to such a nice small meat market, I am used to very good quality meats. The hocks I buy are cut into pieces about the size of a baseball, are smoked on-site, and then put in a bag and frozen. Yes, I have gotten the pre-packaged ham hocks from my local grocery store. No, those do not work the same in this recipe. Part One of the Process If you're like me, you like the smokey taste of the ham hocks in your red beans and rice. This is where the process to make this dish gets the time expansion. I use 4-6 ham hocks for this because I like the added flavor of using more, and because my local butcher packages them by weight and I just use on whole bag. Anywho, dump those hocks in a pot and cover them with water. If you want, you can add the trinity to this (bell pepper, celery, onion) but I don't. Boil them until they are falling off the bone. This will take several hours depending on how hard you boil them and how big the hocks are. Watch them, let them simmer pretty good for at least two hours, and then start checking them. If you can grab a bone end with a pair of tongs and it slides out of the meat, they're done. If you do not want to go to this trouble: Then you can skip this part and go right on to making the beans. I have added the ham hocks right into the pot with the cooking beans and chicken broth. It turns out just fine. Please note, however, that you will be finding bones til kingdom come if you do it that way. This process takes longer, but it saves a lot of pain and heartache later. Alternatively, you could add some finely chopped bacon to the pot. It won't be the same, but if it's all you have and you must, then do it. But don't run to me when it doesn't turn out like that wonderful bowl of red beans and rice you had when you visited New Orleans that one time. You know why theirs was better? They used ham hocks. Part Two Get another large pot out and put it over medium heat. Saute the trinity in the bacon grease for about 10 minutes or until everything's soft. Add the garlic and sausage and cook another few minutes. With a sieve (and maybe some help) pour the broth from the ham hocks into the pot with the veggies. Take the meat off to the side and shred it off the bones. Discard the bones, they've done their job and just added a whole new dimension of flavor to your beans. Add the meat back into the pot and throw the beans, seasonings, and the kitchen sink into the pot. HOLD OFF ON THE SALT Adding salt right now can make your beans hard later. Now, some people cannot make a pot of beans without soaking the beans first. Most people swear by this process. I say fuck. that. shit. If you soaked your beans, your pot will be done in about 2-3 hours at a steady simmer. If you did not soak your beans, boil them hard right now for about 1 hour, and then simmer them for 3-4 hours. They'll be just as good as the soaked beans. In this dish, they will be even better because they will still be firm enough to hold up against anything else on the plate and not just a huge pot of mush. If you are using fresh thyme and bay leaf, tie them together in a bundle before throwing them in the pot. The thyme will lose the leaves as it cooks, and then when it's done you just fish one bundle out instead of two leaves and a twig. If you don't have any twine to tie them together, then for the love of little green men take the leaves off the thyme twig. Bay leaves are easy to fish out of a pot, twigs are not. After simmering the beans for at least 2 hours (stirring occasionally) remove the lid and continue to simmer them and stir them. If the liquid gets too low, add some water or chicken broth. Check the beans after this. They should be soft enough to eat but still firm enough not to be mush in your mouth. Hell, you better know when the beans are done by now or you should just get out of the kitchen. When the beans are done, smash some of them against the side of the pot and stir them really good. This helps thicken the broth even more and makes them creamier. Serve the beans over rice and put some hot sauce on the table. Tobasco is fine as long as it's the original red. For an extra kick, find the Louisiana Gold hot sauce. Part Three, The Rice Now, you can do the rice the same as people have been doing it for years - one cup of rice, two cups of water, and a pinch of salt boiled for 20 minutes or so. Or, you can do it a different way and treat your rice more like you would treat pasta and boil it in a lot of water. Put your rice in a mesh strainer and rinse it under the tap until the water runs clear. What this does is knock off a lot of the starch from the outside of the rice. Follow the formula - one cup of rice to one quart of water and one tablespoon kosher salt. You can add a couple bay leaves to this as well. Bring the water to a boil and add the salt and bay leaves. Add the rice and stir once to make sure the rice doesn't stick. Do NOT stir the rice again! If you agitate the rice too much it will become sticky, and that's not what we're going for here. When it comes back to a boil partially cover it and let it cook for 11 minutes. Taste it at this point. It should have some bite, but a crunch is bad. Again, think pasta. When it's done, strain it and put it in your serving receptacle. Oh, and don't forget to take the bay leaves out. I like to do this for Cajun dishes served over rice (red beans, etouffee, gumbo, etc). I use Basmati or Jasmine rice, or your regular everyday long grain white rice. This method keeps the rice separate when you put it in a bowl with the beans, so you get rice in every bite. If you do it the way mentioned at first, it will be sticky. Either way is good, so this is really just up to your own personal preference. Serve the red beans over the rice with a good French bread, corn on the cob, green beans, or just by itself. This is a really good stand alone dish, but at least with the bread you can sop up the juices. If I am making this for a crowd, I do not put the sausage in with the beans. I leave it out, cut it into pieces about 3-4 inches long and cut those in half lengthwise. We put those on the grill or cook them on the stove top on a cast-iron griddle and serve it as a side. Since I use enough ham hocks that the beans have a fair amount of meat in them, this isn't a problem. Depending on the size and hunger of the crowd, the usual sides I mentioned can be served as well. For a very large crowd, though, the red beans and rice are a side dish to fried catfish, wings, or some other party-friendly food. *~*~*~*~*~* Crawfish EtouffeeOr shrimp if you either don't like or can't get crawfish. Now, for the longest time I shyed away from making etouffee even though I could honestly live off the stuff for the rest of my life. Why, you might ask, did I not want to make my own etouffee if I love it so much? Because for etouffee, I have to make a roux. A roux (pronounced ROO for those of you that don't know) is fat and flour cooked over low to medium-low heat until it is the desired color and it is used to thicken sauces and soups and stuff. Usually it's a fifty/fifty mixture of fat to flour, but sometimes the cook puts more fat and sometimes they put more flour. Depends on the cook. There are different levels of roux - there's a blond roux (more commonly called a slurry), a medium roux (about the color of peanut butter), and there's a dark roux (the color of chocolate). My etouffee recipe calls for a dark roux, and it was this that made me balk at making it for so long. You know why? Because a chocolate colored roux takes forever to make. Like, the history of forever. You can stand and stir that shit on the stove and finish War and Peace before it's done. I don't know about you, but I ain't got that kind of time. Along comes my miracle. Dark roux in a jar at my local grocery store. I'm in Texas, people, so my local grocery store is HEB. My friend in a different city goes to HEB. We all have the same damn grocery. I don't know if your local store will carry dark roux in a jar. If you want to look for it, the stuff we have here is called Ragin' Cajun' dark roux. It will look like Nutella with an oil slick on top of it because the cooked flour has settled out of suspension. That's the stuff you want. Don't get Nutella and think it will do the same thing. It won't. Imagine my fury when I found an even better recipe that didn't call for a dark roux. That's the recipe I'm going to share, although I will also make notes as to how to make a dark roux and what you can use it for. Who knows, maybe I'll post one of those recipes later. I should probably note here that this recipe will serve 4 as an appetizer, or 2 as a large entree. So it's not my usual throw everything into the pot and feed an army. The Shopping List 2 T Creole seasoning (recipe following)4 T Unsalted butter (BUTTER, not margarine)½ c onion, finely chopped¼ c celery, finely chopped¼ c bell pepper, finely chopped¼ c flour¾ c fresh tomatoes, diced1 ½ c shrimp stock (recipe following)2 T minced garlic1 bundle fresh thyme (I'm not sure how big a bundle is in your neck of the woods, but they're pretty big here. I used 2 sprigs)2 t Worcestershire sauce1 t hot sauce (Tobasco or Louisiana Gold)½ c green onions, thinly sliced3 T finely chopped parsley2 lb shrimp, shelled and deveined, save the shells for the shrimp stock3 T unsalted buttersalt and pepper to tastecooked rice Creole Seasoning For those of you who don't want to use Tony Cachere's (Satch Er EEs), here's a recipe for your own homemade Creole Seasoning. 1/2 Cup Kosher Salt1/3 Cup Paprika1/4 Cup Granulated Garlic4 Tbsp Onion Powder1/3 Cup Black Pepper3 Tbsp White Pepper2 Tbsp Cayenne Pepper2 Tbsp Dried Thyme2 Tbsp Dried Basil1 Tbsp Dried Oregano Combine it all and keep it in an air-tight container out of direct sunlight, just like any other spices. For the Shrimp Stock First, I would like to say that if you can buy fresh shrimp with the heads still on, please do so. It takes very little extra effort to remove the heads yourself. If you can't stand the thought of beheading a shrimp (hey, those spines do hurt), see if you can keep the heads when the fish-monger dude does it for you. If he'll shell and devein the shrimp, too, more power to ya. That is my least favorite part. Shells and tails (and heads if you got 'em) from 2 lbs of shrimp½ c onion, chopped¼ c celery, chopped2 garlic cloves1 lemon, sliced2 bay leaves3 sprigs fresh thyme1 t black peppercorns Toss all of this into a pot and cover with about 6-8 cups of cold water. Bring this whole mess almost to a boil and then reduce to a low simmer and let it go for about an hour. Strain this into a jar or several jars. It freezes well for the next time you need it. Get to Cookin' Season the shrimp with half of the Creole seasoning and set them aside in the fridge. In a large skillet or medium pot, melt the butter and then saute the onion, bell pepper, and celery until translucent. Whisk in the flour to make a blond roux and stir it constantly for about 5 minutes. This should be about the limit of where your arm wants to fall off and run screaming. And to think, I made this with a homemade dark roux that took 45 minutes of constant stirring. Aren't you happy I'm not sharing that with you? Stir in the remaining seasoning mix. Stir in a little bit of the shrimp stock, stirring constantly, until a paste forms. This is generally where you want to have a helper in the kitchen with you to pour or take over stirring. Keep adding the stock a little at a time and keep stirring, until it is all incorporated. At some point you'll notice that the roux is dissolved and you can pour the rest of the stock in. The end result of all of this should be the consistency of a gravy, not too thin and not too thick. If it's too thick, add a little more of the stock. If it seems too thin, turn the heat up slightly and keep stirring until it thickens to where you want it. Throw in the tomatoes, garlic, thyme, Worcestershire, and hot sauce, a little salt, pepper, and Cayenne, and simmer for 20-30 minutes stirring occasionally. Add in the shrimp, green onions and parsley, simmer for a few minutes more or until the shrimp are cooked through. This is where I generally turn the heat off and take the pan from the burner. Shrimp are very easy to overdo. For those of you about to bite my head off for not saying anything about crawfish except for the title, I'm getting to that. You're going to want to eat a large meal before setting about peeling enough crawfish to get 2 lbs of tail meat. When you get the container for the meat, also get a container for the head fat and a box for the heads. Remove the head from the crawfish and shake the fat into the fat container, put the head in the box. Here is the reason you want to eat a large meal before doing this. Remove the tail meat and put it in the container you brought out for the meat. Do not eat it. Continue this process until you have roughly 2 lbs of tail meat. Sit back and realize that this work you just did is why packaged tail meat is so fucking expensive. Make the recipe as it is written with the exception that you can add that head fat in with the roux just before you add the stock, and you can use the heads to make the stock. Since the tail meat is already cooked, you can just heat it through with the sauce before serving it over rice. Use the same rice recipe I wrote out up above, or whatever rice you want. If you have some French rolls (tiny little French breads about the size of a baked potato), take them and cut a slit lengthwise down the middle. Don't cut all the way through. Pull some of the bread out of the middle and fill those cavities with the etouffee. Serve that with a green salad and a big ol' glass of sweet tea and you got yourself a mighty fine meal. Unlike other recipes I've posted in the How-to section, etouffee is not something where I just throw stuff into a pot and know for sure it's going to turn out fine. This is one of the few recipes I have in a page protector in a binder on my counter that I actually follow. Yes, that means I sit there and chop everything up and then I measure it all out. Usually, these measurements do not cover the entire vegetable. What I don't use in the etouffee, I use in the stock or I freeze for another dish. I'm young, but I was raised in a time and place where very little went to waste. This is why even though I don't suck the crawfish heads, I do use the fat in the food and the head in the stock. Waste not, want not. Cooking with the Monkey Pt. 03 Author's note: Please vote and tell me what you think of my recipes. I may not reply to all the feedback, but I do enjoy reading most of it. Your comments are always welcome. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! In the last two parts of this series, I have covered an entire carne guisada meal for a crowd and I have hopefully helped you make red beans and rice and etouffee. If you think that is all there is to this whole cooking thing I've got going on you've got another think coming. Hold on to your pants as I talk about several more things I like to make on a semi-regular basis. This will be the last cooking How-to I submit for a while as I switch over to baking for something a tad more yeasty and delicious. Some of the things I use to cook are regional and may not be available where you're located. I try to add in notes for good substitutes, but if all else fails get on Google and search out the stuff I'm using. I know that Rotel is difficult to find up north and anything that is HEB brand can't be found outside of Texas for the most part. A good substitute for Rotel is a can of diced tomatoes and a small can of diced chiles. For the HEB store brand stuff you may just have to find something similar that you like and use that. While I like to cook from scratch, I do use some things that are canned. I know they're horrible for you and don't compare to the real thing but really... who has time for that shit? I don't. You probably don't, either. So don't sweat it if you buy the canned stuff to make things easier on yourself. *~*~*~* This first meal isn't really a recipe. It's something I throw together when we have leftover refried beans (or leftover beans that I make into refried beans for this meal) and I have chicken that needs to be eaten. I prefer to use dark meat chicken in everything except chicken salad and chicken cordon bleu. Yes, I know it's not as healthy as white meat chicken, but it stays much more moist when it is cooked in a wet setting like these enchiladas. Enchiladas VerdesAs made by me. When I go out to eat at my favorite Mexican or Tex-Mex restaurant, I prefer beef enchiladas over almost all else - with one exception. I adore the enchiladas verdes at Tiagos Mexican Restaurant. They have two locations in San Antonio - one near Sea World and one right by Bass Pro Shops. If you have one near you, I highly recommend the enchiladas verdes. They're spicy and bright and everything a chicken enchilada should be. They also happen to be covered in a nice green sauce as opposed to a milder sour cream sauce. They are perfection with borracho beans and Mexican rice and a nice cold adult beverage of your choice. I'm not making those enchiladas verdes. I would not be able to do them justice, so they will have to wait to be devoured for the next time I'm on that side of San Antonio. My enchiladas are much simpler than restaurant ones, but they are still rolled and they are still delicious. My method makes 16-24 enchiladas, depending on how much chicken I'm using. I tend to buy chicken when it goes on sale for $1.00/lb or less and fill my freezer with it, so there are times when I need to use a massive amount of chicken before it goes nasty in the freezer. These enchiladas freeze very well - simply cook everything and roll them, then lay them on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper or something and stick them in the freezer until they're solid. When they're frozen, place them in a gallon size freezer bag and keep them until you need them, or about a month. Whichever comes first. I cook these 8 at a time so that there are leftovers for lunch the next day, but you can do more or less depending on your needs. The Shopping Listcorn tortillas of your choicechickengreen salsa of choicecream cheese*refried beans**cheese***enchilada sauce**** * Plain cream cheese works fine in this (you're not going to use much), but I have also found that the chive flavor Philadelphia has out works really nicely as well. Experiment with different flavors and figure out what you like best.** I make my own, but you can use canned or dehydrated as well. It doesn't matter. 8 enchiladas will only use about ½ a can of beans.*** Asadero or colby jack are amazing with this, but if you're a cheddar lover, go with it. You just need some cheese to sprinkle over the top of the enchiladas. They're fine without it, too, if you prefer to go cheeseless.**** I use Hatch green enchilada sauce - 1 can for 8 enchiladas. If you have a green enchilada sauce you prefer, use that. Tuldy's makes a really good enchilada sauce mix. Google them, you can only get it online. It is a bit pricey, though. Season your chicken with salt and pepper and roast it till it's cooked. If you're using boneless skinless meat, you can shred it easily after it's cooked with the help of a stand mixer or a large bowl and wooden spoon and some elbow grease. If you're using bone-in skin-on chicken parts (I prefer leg quarters) you'll have to get old-school with a couple of forks. Whatever piece of the bird you are using, roast the chicken and then shred the meat. I use a salsa called Native Texan Hatch Green Chile Salsa. In my area, I have only been able to find this at HEB Central Market. All it is is Hatch chiles, tomatillos, and some other stuff. Find your favorite salsa at the store and see if that company makes a green salsa. I have a preference for Hatch chiles or poblanos because of the heat and flavor. Use what you prefer, or make your own. I included a nice roasted salsa with the carne guisada recipe that would be wonderful with this. In a 10-inch cast-iron skillet, combine your shredded chicken and salsa. I want to say I use a pint or half-pint jar of salsa for four leg quarters worth of meat, but eyeball it and do it to your taste. Heat this of medium heat until it's all warm and then turn the heat down and let it simmer for a little while. The chicken will absorb the flavors of the salsa and make for a better finished product in the end. Simmer it for 10-20 minutes while you get the tortillas ready. Preheat your oven to 350F now. Now, you will not be able to roll the enchiladas with dry corn tortillas. They will split and you will have one nasty looking (but still delicious) casserole mess on your hands when you pull it out of the oven. In a shallow frying pan, pour a tablespoon or two of vegetable oil into the bottom and get it hot. If you're not sure it's hot enough, stick the end of a wooden spoon into it. If it bubbles, it's hot enough. If it doesn't bubble, it's not hot enough. When your oil is hot, place a tortilla in it (carefully!) and cook it on both sides for about 10 seconds per side. You don't want to make it crispy, just get it pliable. Set this one aside and continue with the rest of your tortillas. Make sure your beans are good and warm at this point, too. NOTE: If you do not like the idea of putting tortillas into hot oil and then getting all messy when you need to roll them, then wait until you're ready to start rolling and do this: Get three or four paper towels off the roll - leaving them connected - and get the damp. Wrap your tortillas in these and put them in the microwave for about 30 seconds. This will steam them and make them pliable enough to roll and not split. HOWEVER, you need to do this in small batches (I do it 8 at a time when I do it this way) and they do not freeze well when softened this way. At this point, you have some soft tortillas, warm chicken and salsa mixed, and some warm beans. What I do is mix a dollop of cream cheese into the chicken and stir it in well. This adds a nice creamy texture to the filling. You can completely skip this if you don't want that. Get everything set up assembly line style in front of you. Take a tortilla and smear some beans onto the middle. It doesn't have to be perfect, just get some beans on there. Then spoon a couple tablespoons of the filling into the middle and roll it up. Place the enchilada seam-side down in your casserole dish and repeat the process until you have a full dish. NOTE:If you are freezing your enchiladas, you will want to use the oil method to soften the tortillas. Even then you may have some that start to come apart, but you shouldn't have any that completely split open. Just fill your pan and then continue to make the enchiladas until you run out of filling, placing the enchiladas on a lined cookie sheet and then into the freezer. They should keep in the freezer for about a month. They haven't lasted any longer than that in my house. If you actually went and got the Tuldy's enchilada sauce mix, mix up some of it according to the directions and pour it over your enchiladas. If you're using the can, remember it should be one can for 8-10 enchiladas. Feel free to use more or less depending on your tastes. Some people like more sauce, some people like less. Sprinkle on your cheese of choice and pop the whole thing onto the middle rack of your oven and bake for about 30 minutes or until the cheese is completely melted and everything is bubbling around the edges. These enchiladas are generally a quick meal at my house. They have the beans inside them, so I don't make sides with this unless it's rice or a salad. *~*~*~* Chicken Cordon Bleu This is something I make less often than my family would like. It's more of a special occasion meal than an all-the-time thing. That said, this is an awesome meal if you need some major stress relief. The Shopping List 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts4 thin slices prosciutto (or ham if you want to pay a little less)½ lb grated Swiss cheese (I use Gruyere)Panko bread crumbsall-purpose floureggsthymebuttergarlicoil Preheat your oven to 350F. Butterfly open each chicken breast. Take one breast and lay it on a piece of plastic wrap and then layer another piece of plastic over it. With a rolling pin or heavy smooth-bottom skillet, beat the ever loving shit out of the chicken. Pound it to about ¼-inch thickness. Remove the top layer of plastic and layer a slice of prosciutto over the chicken. Sprinkle on a quarter of the cheese. Tuck in the sides of the chicken and then roll it tightly inside the plastic wrap. If you take the ends of the wrap and run the whole thing along the counter in front of you while holding the excess plastic, it should roll into a nice log. Get it nice and tight and set it aside. Repeat this process with the other three breasts and place them in the fridge while you get everything else ready. In a shallow dish, season ¼ cup all-purpose flour with salt and pepper. Don't be shy, flour is a nasty, bland substance that needs help to taste good. Set this aside. In another shallow dish, beat two eggs and season them, too. Set this next to the flour and get out a third shallow dish. Season 1 cup of the bread crumbs with the leaves of four sprigs of thyme, one clove of garlic finely minced, salt, pepper, and two tablespoons melted unsalted butter. The butter will help the bread crumbs brown in the oven. Lightly grease a cookie sheet with some olive oil and set it aside so it's ready. Take your chicken out of the fridge and remove the plastic wrap. Lightly dust the chicken with the flour, dip it into the eggs, and then coat it in the bread crumbs and place it on the baking sheet. Repeat this with the other three rolls. Place in the middle of the oven and bake for 20 to 25 minutes until golden brown and baked through. I turn them once halfway through so the bottoms don't get too dark. I serve these with sauteed green beans and mashed potatoes. *~*~*~* These two meals are meant to be easy, go-to homemade meals for those nights when you don't want to eat the leftovers and you don't really want a super heavy meal. The chicken cordon bleu also works as one of those meals you can use to impress your guests. Neither meal takes a ton of time to make or a ton of prep. Remember to wash up really well after handling raw chicken.