0 comments/ 207347 views/ 19 favorites Orgasmic Ecstasy By: Diane Marie I wrote this a while ago for some chat friends of mine, I was surprised how many women felt that they couldn’t have Multiple Orgasms. This assay was my attempt to rectify that. A comment on the author’s board convinced me to share it here at Lit. Lacking a copy of this essay I had to download it from my web site, convert it from a pdf format to text, then revise it to remove some personal information, doing so wasn’t as easy as I had hoped. Before you read this, I want to assure you my intent is only to help, if you feel that the tone of this essay is condensing or arrogant , I am sorry. It seemed that way to me at first. I’ve edited and revised this a number of times hopefully that tone is gone . I wrote this for my women friends, although any of you men are welcomed to read it, just be aware that I am addressing most of this to other women. I have added a section at the very end I address to you men, but please read it all, I have a feeling your wives/lovers well be grateful if you do. I do tend to get off track, some what by intent. I guess I have that right, I wrote this, you don’t really have to read it. I assure you that at some point I really do get to Multiple Orgasms. Orgasmic Ecstasy! Recently I was surfing the net, actually I was looking for a story idea. Not so much for an idea, as a way to express some to my feelings. Both emotional and physical. We all feel them, it’s just not so easy to describe them. Try writing about some of your emotions. Anger for an example, easy enough your angry, what’s that feel like, can you write it out. How about fear, your alone walking down the street at night, it’s misty and foggy. You hear footsteps behind you, not far behind you but you can’t make out a figure. You start to run but the foot falls keep pace. (good story idea, maybe) Try describing what that fear feels like, it’s not easy is it, and the word fear isn’t enough. Love, lets not even go there most of us don’t even know what it is, we just know when we feel it. You’d think it would be easier describing the physical wouldn’t you. Try pain, pain can be very intense, can you truly describe your most intense pain. I’ve been told by many of my friends that childbirth is very painful, not having the privilege I can only imagine. The truth is I long to know but alas that isn’t going to happen for me. No one yet has truly described those feeling. I’d love to read a really good story about childbirth, the intense pain, the exhaustion, mixed in with the joyous feeling of giving birth to your child. How about this one, it’s been asked in chat enough, what does it feel like to have a penis in your vagina? Good, great, wonderful none of those description is really going to satisfy the men’s curiosity, and not once has an answer really described that feeling very well. I may add here that I have yet to read a story here at Lit that does a good job of describing that feeling. An orgasm, describe it to someone who’s never had one, then add to that the scuttle differences, in some cases not so scuttle, between the ones you do have. Little orgasm, big orgasm, doesn’t really relate much does it, and what about the ones in between? Maybe it isn’t even possible to describe those feelings using the English language. No offense to my English friends but you lot aren’t real touchy, feely, maybe it’s all your fault were stuck with a language that isn’t overly expressive of emotions or feelings. I take that back, when I lived in England the women always seemed rather touchy, feely, it was just the men who seemed rather distance and cold. I wish I would have been in the correct mind set back then, I surely wanted to do some touching and feeling. This isn’t about writing but I did want to let you all see how I waste my on line time. I was looking for a better way of describing an orgasm to be exact. I didn’t find much help. Here’s mine from a recent story. "It seemed to start in my fingers and toes then rush inward to my pelvis from there my whole body shook with spasms as wave after wave of pleasure coursed though my body." Maybe not good but it does show how intense that orgasm was. But the word pleasure isn’t really it is it, an orgasms is much more then that. Here’s the way another woman, Betty Dodson, described hers in her article "Multiple Orgasms", I’m going to quote more from her later. "My entire body started trembling with involuntary spasms as I rode the waves of pleasure." Both her description and mine are about multiple orgasms, the intensity of the later ones. I found it interesting that we both used wave, spasm and pleasure. Could that be inspired by something we both read when we were young? I tend to like hers better, but my orgasms, the better ones, really do seem to start in my fingers and toes then go inward before exploding out in waves of pleasurable contractions. I know it’s going to be a big orgasm when I feel it first in my fingers and toes. Isn’t pleasurable contractions so inadequate. How about this one "Electric flesh-arrows . . . traversing the body. A rainbow of color strikes the eyelids. A foam of music falls over the ears. It is the gong of the orgasm," by Anaïs Nin. I’ve never seen a rainbow of colors but at times I’ve seen stars. As I hunted for my elusive literary image, I started thinking about how my orgasms have changed over the years. Changed isn’t really correct it’s more how the intensity has changed. I remember when I used to think those little ones were all I was going to ever have. Nice but no real reason to be intensely sexual. I could lay on my back and in five or ten minutes, have one, what did I need a partner for. Of course I needed a partner, I, like everyone else, need that emotional component of having sex. Bonding, a feeling of oneness, I’m sure you have your own description. But that alone doesn’t give you the drive to have sex very often or feeling of blissfulness that is possible from making love. You have to have orgasms, good orgasms to have that. Speaking of the emotional, is it really love we need? Admittedly having sex with someone we love is good. It can be a marvelous experience if he/she is also a great lover. But is love really the emotional connection we seek from partnered sex? I can’t speak for anyone else, but some of the best purely sexual experiences I’ve had, have been with partners I have not loved. It is curious in a way but that feeling of bonding, of oneness was there also. Is it possible that in that brief intense period of ecstasy we feel love? I for one think not but we feel something more then the purely sexual. In a way we have been brain washed into believing sex really is about making love, that orgasms are a component of love. Not so with men, they tend to think of sex exactly as it is, a physical state of ecstasy. For us it is some what different, we can’t reach ecstasy merely by having one tiny orgasm or as many women experience with partnered sex, none at all. To reach the point of physical ecstasy, we need more then men seem to, we need more then mere sex, we need fantastic sex. We are never going to have it easy like men, in my opinion even bad sex brings them somewhat to the point of ecstasy. On our side of course, is that fact that sex can be so intense for us, we go places men can only dream about. Remember that stupid science fiction movie, "Dune"? How stupid of me to have not know until recently that, that movie was based on a series of science fiction novels. The hero, whatever his name was, went somewhere in his drug state that women were afraid to go. If that whole movie wouldn’t have been so sexist, it would have been funny, maybe that is why I remember it. I think the author was jealous, we have been to that place, and men aren’t allowed in. Perhaps men fear our sexual intensity. That could explain why all current major religions teach our desires, our almost unquenchable sexual hunger is equated with evil. May I point out that in all of those religions, men wrote the books. It also explains why in some cultures, the genitalia of young girls are so mutilated that their ability to give her pleasure is destroyed. I suppose they would do the same to these girls breasts if they weren’t needed to suckle their male prodigy, not to mention the fact that men find our breast sexually stimulating. If that sounds anti male to you so be it, but I’m not the one doing or teaching these things, men are!!!! My own church, Roman Catholic, taught for years that women were more likely to fall under satin’s influence because of the intensity of our orgasms, along with their frequency. Not only did these men teach we were mentally weaker because of this, but we were inherently evil do to our god given ability to feel more pleasure doing sex then they were. The Muslin religion, which originally taught the equality of women, has been so perverted by men, it now teaches that women are at best second class. Most of us in the western world do have some semblance of equality, although we’re not yet treated as equal, but men did not give that to us, we fought for that. In America women have had the right to vote for less then 82 years. Did men intend to give us equal rights, did men write that in our constitution, no they did not, it took a constitutional amendment to give us the right to vote. Did men wake up one day saying, "we’ve been so wrong women need the right to vote," of course they didn’t, we had to protest, we had to fight, and when push came to shove many women just told their men, "Vote no and your voting yourself out of my bed." Did any of you know that less then 150 years ago in most of the United States women did not even have the right to inherit. You were dependent on your husband, upon his death you were just shit out of luck. Do you really want to trust your freedom to a gender that couldn’t even see the need to protect his loving wife after his death. Have men changed that much, open your eyes look around the world. Maybe I do have some anti male bias, but shouldn’t we all, shouldn’t we be on our guard, though out history men have subordinated us. Look around the world women as a whole are not given equality. Yes, that is changing, but it’s changing only because women have demanded it, not because men have given it to us, quite the contrary, they’ve been drug by the scruff of their necks screaming and yelling all the way. If facing reality is being a man hater then I guess that label fits me. If on the other hand loving some men, having male friends counts for anything the label just doesn’t fit. Continuing on, I believe we are much less driven by the need and desire for sex then men are. I assume that is due mostly to the differences in hormones. Although once we have experience really great sex, our sexual desires become a bigger component in our lives. At times it can be the force that drives us. Great sex for most of us takes more then just a great lover, we also have to overcome all of these other issue. Morality, the image of the good girl, the acceptance of our bodies, along with others fostered on us by our parents, ours churches and the societies we live in. For us even the ability to have an orgasms seems to be something we have to learn. My opinion is the biggest of these obstacles is that awful image of the good girl. An image forced upon us at a very early age. For what ever reason we’ve been taught that boys/men won’t control themselves, if we don’t do so then we are theirs for the taking. We are told sex is some how connected to love, sex without love is wrong. Why is it men aren’t taught that? For most of us control means more then saying no. When we’re young just learning about sex we learn to say no by learning to control, even suppress, our desires and passions. To have really great sex we need to relearn, we need to be able to let go, live for the moment, learning to let our desires, passions and arousal’s control our bodies instead of our minds. That isn’t about submitting to anything or anyone other then ourselves. In a way the false belief, sex in a component of love, can actually diminish our desire for the sexual if our partner isn’t treating us the way we need to be treated. Of course that very lack of sex drive, and the lack of having sex, drives us further apart, further diminishing our desire for sex. If our partner happens to be driven by a desire for sex, most men fit, some women, they resent not having sex, that resentment drives us further apart. A vicious circle isn’t it. I’ll state here that I haven’t found any men like this. They can grow to hate us but give them a chance and they well have sex with us. We do that, we are guilty of it. What is the solution, why are some of us more driven to have sex then others? In any relationship gone bad, a point is reached that no matter how sexual you are your desire for sex with him/her drops to near zero but I tend to think that for most of us that point happens to soon. Even in good relationships we tend to shut off to soon. I don’t think we do that as punishment, men seem to think we do, it’s in our nature to not feel sexually about our lover when things go wrong. Does that seem contradictory, on one hand I say we’ve been brain washed to believe sex is about love and then on the other I say it’s natural to lose the desire for sex when things are not right in our love relationships. Not in the least, if we just look at the purely sexual, then it’s just that one person we don’t want to have sex with. I think that is born out by the fact that most women who do cheat, do so at times when things aren’t right with their partner. The desire for sex is still there, but it just takes another person to kindle it. Sex could hold us together, giving time to work out our problems, but what happens most of the time is not having sex drives us apart faster. I know that was so during my first marriage. I resented him being gone, I resented not being his number one priority, yes I wanted and expected to be the center of his world. I resented him not paying attention to me, but he resented my coldness, my unwillingness to be touched sexually. I don’t blame him, he’d be gone for up to a week at a time, I’m sure he missed me and he was also very horny, that is natural. I’d missed him just as much, in fact I was also horny, I desired his touch, but we had problems. I resented not dealing with our problems, he resented my coldness, he’d get angry because of the lack of sex and clam up. I’d get madder because he wouldn’t talk to me. The madder I got the less I wanted sex, the less I wanted sex the more withdrawn he became. I loved that man more then any man I ever loved, I’m sure as much as I’m capable of loving a man, but I shut off sooner then I did with any other man I had a relationship with since. Why? Because the sex just wasn’t that great. Doesn’t that sound just awful. Your partner has to know how to make love to you and then care enough to do so. He didn’t know how to, he did care, we both needed to try harder and learn more. If anything I was the more experienced lover, I’d been with a number of men, his experience with other women was limited, exactly one other. That should have meant I could have taught him. But I didn’t know how to teach him to pleasure me. To me, I suppose because of my childhood, I didn’t think of sex as pleasure, I thought of it as a way to please men. I know my childhood was not normal, but I also know that many women are brought up to please rather then to be pleased. Not just sexually, but in all things. There is something terrible wrong with that, the giving of ourselves should never be a duty. We do take care of our loved ones, by our very nature we nurture those we love but that should be a gift not an obligation. If only our first lover could be this marvelous man, one who knew how to make love, one who also knew how to get us passed our inhibition. A man who saw the pleasure of giving to us, ignoring what we could give to him. One who could teach us about our own bodies, about the extraordinary ability of our bodies to feel pleasure. Not just in orgasm but in all the little and big pleasure we can and should feel doing sex, from the tender kiss that excites us, to the mind blowing orgasms some of us feel during oral sex. The thing is, I regret not knowing any of those feelings during that time in my life. I’m not saying we would have made it, I’m sure that if we had, I would now be longing for something he can’t give me. But I do regret not having the kind of sex that no matter how mad I was at him, I would still have been over come with lust for him. Love is a strange thing isn’t it, not having sex pushed us apart but the reason I didn’t want sex with him was I loved him and I was hurting. Complicating things further, we humans are a strange sort, even when we don’t know what great sex is, not having any sex kindles a fire inside of us. When we won’t have that fire put out by the one we love, we look else where. Some of us do control that, some of us as I’ve said live a life of control, others don’t, I didn’t. I regret that in the end that caused the destruction of my marriage, but I well never regret my affair with Shawn. He taught me the pleasures of my body, the intensity of an orgasm. He was the first person to ever take me to that place I call Orgasmic Ecstasy. In a way he helped my marriage, I was again having sex with my husband, guilt I suppose, but it was still sex. Given that we were having sex again, and given that I was starting to understand what I needed, along with how great sex could be, maybe at some point that kind of sex would have happened with my husband. It didn’t, I got caught, thus breaking his heart, along with my own. I do have regrets but perhaps I only regret getting caught, not the cheating. Before I continue I want to state two shocking facts I learned. Thirty eight percent of American women have never had an orgasm. One out of three women, those who have orgasms, have difficulty reaching orgasm during partnered sex. I’m not sure the last is so shocking, but it does say something about their partners. My best friend hardly ever has an orgasm with her husband, he’s a very selfish man. Given that fact it’s a wonder it took her so many years of marriage before she took a lover. It’s debatable, although I’m partly to blame, that her solution was her best course of action, she loves her husband, why didn’t she just demand better sex? I’ll tell you why, she’s tried, he just doesn’t care, or he doesn’t listen, some men just never get it, but in the defense of men, some women never do either. I do not understand how thirty eight percent of us have not had an orgasm, baring some physical problem that is just stupid. We have fingers, there is absolutely no reason not to have an orgasm, although I’m not as surprised as I would have been before I came to chat. I can’t believe how many women have said they don’t masturbate. I truly believe that one of the keys to great sex is knowing our bodies, you can’t get there if you don’t masturbate. I also believe that having an orgasm is something we have to learn, it just doesn’t happen for most of us on it’s own. Maybe that is the price our maker extracted from us in order to feel so much more then a man can feel. If you aren’t having orgasms it’s time you do, take some time for yourself, get naked, lay on your bed, relax and have some fun. You may not get there the first time but keep trying, I assure you it is well worth the effort. If your partner isn’t giving you orgasms, it is time to communicate. I think the best communication you can have with him is to show him how you masturbate. He’ll love it. Of course if you don’t masturbate, if you have no idea what you do or don’t like during masturbation, how in the hell are you going to teach him. Enough lecturing back to my point. It’s so much different for me now, I just love having sex, not just the orgasms, the whole experience but it is the orgasms that make it that way. Take away the orgasms and I agree with Ann Landers, give me the kissing, the snuggling, maybe a little petting, the rest I don’t really need, let him use his hand. Add those orgasms back in and it’s hard to stop me. I can be in the biggest fight ever with my partner and still want sex. My last lover, Diane, confused, think about how it was for our friends. Sarah my intended life partner is for the most part this way. She did shut me out for a short time while we were fighting about her parents, but in the end our sex drives got us beyond the fighting, bringing us to a point, one night after an amazing session of love making, where we started to work out a solution to that problem. Orgasmic Ecstasy What is it about us that makes us this way, being lesbian. Not a good answer, I was this way before I admitted who I am. What we do share in common is what I call orgasmic ecstasy. What is that, nothing more then we have these very intense orgasms. Call them what you well, full body orgasms, mind blowing orgasms, all I know is that I just love having them. Why are our orgasms so intense? Because we all have multiple orgasms. I truly believe that to reach the point I call orgasmic ecstasy you have to have multiple orgasms. Why am I writing this, because some, maybe lots, of you say you don’t have multiple orgasms, you can’t your to sensitive. I disagree, everything I read says any women can have multiple orgasms. While I was looking for that description of orgasms, I happened upon a page at a site that tried to teach women how to have multiple orgasms. Here is what the writer said about how she learned to have multiple orgasms. I quote from her article titled "Multiple Orgasms" by Betty Dodsom, Ph.D. By the way she teaches a course on masturbation, that might be a fun job. How would that work, a two hour class for the women, an hour break to practice, and then an hour course for men, not that men need it but it could be fun watching. "My adult masturbation was quite modest in the beginning. It took about ten minutes for me to come and then I stopped. At first I did the classical hand job, using massage oil for a sensuous feeling and teasing my clitoris with one or two fingers. Then one night I watched myself masturbating with the magnifying side of a makeup mirror. It was a fabulous sight, like watching an erotic movie on a miniature screen. It added style to the way I handled myself, watching my vaginal lips turn a deeper red and my clitoris getting bigger. Doing an internal vaginal massage with three fingers increased lubrication and my sexual juices glistened in the bright light. I ended up moving my hand so rapidly it was a blur just before I came. This visual information was very new and exciting. At first, I never had more than one orgasm when I masturbated. My clitoris was always too sensitive to touch immediately after I'd come, so that signaled the end of sex. Then one night after watching myself have an orgasm in the mirror again, I was still turned on, but too sensitive to continue. Suddenly I flashed on the idea of panting like they taught women in childbirth classes to help them cope with pain. I began doing the same breathing to cope with more pleasure and quickly discovered I could keep going with a lighter touch. Within seconds, my clitoral hypersensitivity disappeared and I was into another sexual buildup. Instead of holding my breath and pulling back after my first orgasm, I increased my breathing to match the strong sensation and moved through what I'd once labeled "pain" into a new experience with pleasure. Multiple orgasms! Basically it was as simple as learning to keep going and not to stop." I decided to test this theory of hers, so the next time Sarah and I made love, I paid more attention to every thing going on. During oral sex I too felt that same feeling, one I no longer even think of as painfully sensitive, and admittedly there does come a point when I feel the need to stop but it is no longer that feeling, more so exhaustion. Even now I tend to at times push my lover away long before I really want to stop. A good lover should know the difference between those times and when one really needs to stop, communications is important but knowing our lover’s body as well as you know our own is more important. That is a circle in a way, you need to know your lovers body, to know it you need to communicate. I guess if your not a lesbian then that applies to your man knowing your body as well as his own, but shouldn’t you know the same about his? I’m not sure about the panting like having a baby, never had the privilege, but I do at that point start panting. Later on after a couple more orgasms it’s constant, I just don’t stop panting. I really think that is the trick of getting past that point of being to sensitive, Sarah does the same. Maybe some other women have some another method, if so I say whatever works for you do it. I also think the panting helps to quiet the need I feel to force an orgasm, something I find only keeps me from having one. Neither Sarah nor I were conscious of our panting prior to that night, I suppose we were lucky enough to just have it happen. No that is not true with me, a lover, I’ve told you about him, Shawn, forced it on me, he just wouldn’t stop. An amazing man, he had magic fingers, and he gave oral as good as any woman I’ve been with. Oh my god I just admitted a man can give oral as good as a woman, I’ll just add not many. I don’t really know what magic Shawn possessed but I’d do just about anything he asked, maybe because he gave me so much more then I knew was possible. I’m sure part of it was something inside of me, I could let completely go with him. I always felt that was do to the already forbidden nature of our relationship. I guess you could say the good girl, although not real good, found the bad girl inside of her. Getting off the subject again. I’ve often wondered what Casanova had that made him so desirable to us. Even by his own account he wasn’t a overly handsome man, average at best. I’m sure he had to be like Shawn, a marvelous lover, one who knew the importance of giving, considering his needs secondary to our own. There had to be more, something that would attract you to him, just as I, I’m sure many other women, was attracted to Shawn. Did we instinctively know that making love to him would be so amazing, maybe for some a once in a live time happening, or was it his confidence, his knowing where he could take us that made him so tempting. I sit here thinking about Shawn, I see his face, I can feel his touch, I can almost smell him, but why was I so attracted to him. He surely had personality, but it was more then that, it was a knowing, I didn’t know good sex but somehow I knew that with Shawn, I would learn great sex. WHY????? Oh my god, I lost track again. I did do some thinking about the panting, and I do remember panting around a few men’s penises when we were making love. There was no way I was going to suck anything at that point, I just had to pant. I’m not so sure they weren’t at some risk at those times, the last thing on my mind was what was in my mouth. Betty later describes the use of a vibrator and how intense her orgasm were. I think if anything it was the vibrator that made me reach my full potential, but not alone by myself with a partner, I give up to soon. Contrary to what some say, that does not diminish your ability to have orgasms with a partner without the use of a vibrator. Sarah can and does, as other lovers have, give me all I need with her tongue. It’s just sometimes I love toys. Toys add a certain intensity level to the end of our love making. At times one or both of us want that something extra, and our love making can get very intense, sometimes more then our tongues and mouths can stand. Using the right toys, in a way that extends those orgasms is in my opinion extraordinary. Here’s how I describe the scene of a woman’s first experience with multiple orgasms from a recent story. Of course her first experience was with another woman, so what if I write with a bit of a female prejudice. It doesn’t do those feelings and intensity justice. I did steal the idea of the one lover telling the other to pant from Betty, I felt that if only one woman read my story and tried, it would be worth every word. "Half in a daze I looked up. Julie was standing naked next to the lounge. Smiling she took my hand in hers leading me into the pool, where we kissed and caressed for what seemed like hours but in reality was only minutes. Then leading me back to the lounge she proceeded to make love to me, slowly, tenderly, giving attention to all of my body. Making love like that was so unbelievable, nothing rushed, nothing left wanting. When her tongue finally reached my pussy I was ready to explode, when she gently sucked my clitoris into her mouth I did explode, in the most marvelous orgasm I’d ever had. Her tongue continued to play masterfully upon my clitoris but the feeling was just to intense, my clitoris so sensitive it was painful. As I tried to push Julie away, she looked up at me and said "start panting just like your having a baby". I’d never had a baby but I had prepared myself, I knew how to breath. It sounded so stupid, but I did as she told me, within seconds I was past the point of painful over stimulation and on the verge of yet another orgasm. When the next orgasm hit it was must stronger, sending waves of pleasure through out my body. As it subsided I again got past my need to stop by panting, again with the same results, I was building to yet another orgasm. This time it seemed stronger, maybe not stronger but I could sense I was building to something different. When the next orgasm hit it was unbelievable. It seemed to start in my fingers and toes then rush inward to my pelvis from there my whole body shook with spasms, as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through my body. I suppose from then on I never stopped panting as one orgasm after another rushed over took me. I was in ecstasy, the only way to describe it is orgasmic ecstasy. I’d never been very vocal during sex, maybe a few unintelligible sounds, but I now was screaming. Of course mostly unintelligible sounds but I remember panting ‘oh god’ over and over and over again." I do repeat "oh god, oh god", over and over again. I guess to thank her for making me in such a way that I can experience so much pleasure, so many orgasms, so close together. The author I mentioned earlier, described multiple orgasms as serial, thinking this was a better term then multiple. I for one tend to agree, each orgasms is distinct from the last, each need it’s own build up. Although not completely, it isn’t like starting over again, it’s like your back on the edge of that plateau waiting to go over the edge. The time between seems to vary for no apparent reason, but it does. The intensity of each varies to, it isn’t really a progression from little to big, at least not most of the time, not for me, although Sarah’s tend to build that way. The way I wrote about the experience in my story would fit Sarah more then it does me. A bonus for both Sarah and I is that at the end, the orgasms are all massive, without much time in-between. I think that would be true for anyone who can keep going working though the intensity of the experience. There does come a point you feel you just have to stop, exhaustion as much as sensitivity. But if you really want more, at times I do, and you have an understanding partner, it doesn’t take much time to recover and be back on the edge of that plateau again. Don’t just stop and rest or you well then need to start over, we do continue making love, maybe those are the most tender times for us, kissing, touching but most of all tender loving words. I don’t know about anyone else other then Sarah and I, I’ve never talked about it with anyone else. One thing I disagree with Betty Dodsom, Ph.D. on is she seems to think four or five orgasms are typical, I have more then that, sometimes many more, so does Sarah, maybe we’re greedy. Betty claims the women who say they have more are counting contraction. I know the difference between a orgastic contraction and a whole orgasm, so she is wrong. Perhaps the difference is I have a partner, I rarely go beyond four or five when I masturbate, truth is one is usually all I want. Now if I’m masturbating for a lover that is a different matter. I learned the joy of masturbating for a lover a long time ago. Another thing Shawn taught me. I learned the lust part of it, riding down Interstate 80, in the good old state of Iowa. The wickedly, stimulating, carnal lust of being watched by strangers, mainly truckers, they have the best view. So what if I’m a bit wicked, I just love it. The downside of experiencing multiple orgasms is you aren’t really happy with a quickie. Once you’ve experienced it, you’ll want to experience it every time you make love. Not necessarily the complete deal every time, but more then one or two good orgasms. Especially if you start with the little ones like I do most of the time. That said we still have our version of the quickie, but that is more about love and bonding. Another problem is that it takes a really loving and understanding partner, it isn’t easy, it can be work. In a way it is selfish also, as much as you want to pleasure your lover it does come to a point where you just can’t. If your with a man, I think it is harder for him, no way can he get this much pleasure, nor is he going to receive equal time, it does make it one sided. It is easier for me when I take the led, I know what she’s experiencing. I’m also going to feel the same or I just have. That is one of the reasons why I say use toys, it’s easier for the man. I also think once a man has used toys while he’s made love to you, he’ll love it, we all, women and men alike, tend to do a lot of what we love to do. I think Sarah and I are more oral then most couples but that seems to be the case with most of our lesbian friends, although surprisingly not all. I know one lesbian who won’t go down on her partner. I still say my Sonic Care toothbrush is the best clit toy there is, although that auto shutoff always seems to shut off at the wrong time. We use that along with a normal vibrator, the damn thing even looks like a penis, but it’s blue. We do have others but that one is the best for penetration, not to big not to small. And yes we share, I know some of you seem to find that distasteful, something I just don’t understand. Yes men, I’m admitting that penetration helps, fingers work wonderfully to. I just came up with an interesting concept, a Sonic Care toothbrush and a penis, attach the penis to a man, one who has some staying power and away we go. Oh well, that isn’t going to happen for me, if one of you tries it, let me know how it turns out. A trick I used when I was with a man, was to position him so I could give him a blow job while he was using toys on me. That helped, thus my earlier comment on panting around a penis. He was a wonderful man and lover. He never complained about me getting more then my fair share. OK I’m a slut, I did this with other men too, I’ve had more then my fair share of them. Contrary to the impression some may have of me, I do like men, and I think most men want to be good lovers. I also think most men are willing to give more then they receive, at least that has been my experience. The thing about men is they have to be taught to make love to us. For us it’s less about being taught to make love to them, and more about getting over our hang ups, we seem to do just fine once that happens. Love making is a give and take, it is surprising to me that so many women won’t give a man a real blow job, that means to climax. So you don’t like the taste, big deal, you get used to it. Think of it this way, his seed is not something nasty, how could anything that gives you the joy of a child be nasty. I don’t know a man who doesn’t think oral sex and allowing him to cum in your mouth isn’t the greatest experience he’ll ever have. Anal, I don’t like it but I have done it at least once with every man I was in a relationship after Shawn, note the word relationship, a one night stand isn’t. Funny thing is most of the men I’ve been with, found they really didn’t like anal that well, but being denied it by their other women made it an obsession. It can be painful for both, but it doesn’t have to be, lots of lubrication and having your partner go slow helps, you have to really relax. We all have our hang ups, I suppose I have that about anal, maybe that has a lot to do with me not enjoying it. I can not imagine having an orgasm from anal sex even if my clit is stimulated. I’d better make my point. That being, you can have wonderful sex and still only have one or two orgasms spread out over time, but you are missing out if you don’t have multiple orgasms. I truly believe that to have the kind of sex that no matter how mad you are at your lover you’ll still want to have sex, you have to experience orgasmic ecstasy. The only way to get there is multiple orgasms. I sure hope this helps some of you, I want you all to experience the same pleasures I do. By the way I kind of like Betty’s mirror idea. Maybe I can add a little style for my next trip down the interstate. Another good reason to have a man, men like that sort of thing, it does nothing for Sarah. Although she does allow me to indulge in my fetishes. I know she kind of got turned on tying me up a few weeks ago, my other big fetish. Here I was at her complete mercy and what does she do, takes me to that place called orgasmic ecstasy, she’d have done that anyway. Maybe for me that is what being tied up is all about, being completely under someone else control but someone I trust not to do something I’m not conformable with. ***** FOR YOU MEN. We have bodies make love to them, not just our breasts and vulva. I for one love to be kissed and kiss. I love my neck kissed, don’t forget the back of my neck and just behind my ears too. I love my chest just about my breasts tenderly caressed with my lovers finger tips, her lips at times. I adore having my back touched and kissed, kissing the small of my back drives me wild. Kissing and caressing the inside of my thighs is marvelous. Of course I want my breasts and nipples touched, caressed, nibbled and sucked. When I’m really turned on I love my nipples pulled and pulled hard. I love to be teased, my lover taking her/his time avoiding direct contact with my vulva until I’m about to beg. My point is, I have a body make love to all of it. Don’t just dive right in and try to stimulate my vulva, I’m not ready and I’ll never have those really big orgasms if I’m not ready. In my case don’t suck my toes, I don’t like that but some women do. Each of us is different you need to learn your lovers body, make love to all of her. If you can make love to me, as I described, an orgasm can happen almost the second you touch my clitoris with your tongue. When I’m made love to this way all those little things that stand in the way of an orgasm, stress, apprehension, work, life’s big and little problem have disappeared and I’m lost in the moment, I’m lost within myself and my lover. Contrary to what some of you men seem to think, intercourse doesn’t do it for us, maybe some but I’ve never met her, and I’d tend to think that if she thinks that intercourse is the most wonderful part of sex, then she never really been with a person who knew how to make love. Most all of us need our orgasms before intercourse, my preference is oral, your lovers may be something else, if you give me enough of those, I may even have an orgasm or two during intercourse, if you don’t orgasms aren’t going to happen. Think of it this way intercourse is desert, we all love desert, but it’s not the main course. Being that life is so contradictory, I intend to contradict myself by saying there are times we just want to fuck. Rip your pants off, then fuck the hell out of you, at times that may be suck the hell out of you before you get to take us. Not often mind you, not nearly as often as you’d like I’m sure, but those times still happen. They exist in all relationships, there are times I want Sarah to just fuck me, of course our version of fucking isn’t intercourse, it’s her face between my legs, her tongue on my clit and her fingers pumping hard in and out of my vagina, maybe even a finger of her other hand, oh never mind. Diane PS if you want to try a Sonic Care tooth brush, best clit toy I’ve found, you’ll need to cut off the splash guard. Please file the cut smooth with a nail file, doing so is very important, I didn’t the first time and cut myself. I find the bristles to be to way to harsh, I use the back of the brush. Try it both ways you may like the bristles. Yes I know some of you are laughing, but I’ve never been one to be afraid to experiment. Sarah, being not as adventuresome as I am, was some what apprehensive at first, she’s now very happy I didn’t really give her a choice to say no. I love my tooth brush, I’ll continue to use it until I find something that works better, I’ve tried, so far no luck. Hopefully if I ever find one it won’t have an automatic shut off.