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Eva Ch. 01

By: neathy



Chapter 1 - Her first three way

(...Cue start up theme to old Dragnet TV show.... Cue announcer...)

"The story you about to read is true...only the names have been changed to protect the perverted."

I had been living with Eva for almost 3 years when I finally convinced her to bring another woman home from the bar where she worked to have sex with both of us. Eva was about thirty with mousy brown hair, tiny sagging boobs but with a beautiful pear shaped ass. She had been married/divorced years before and by all accounts had not experienced much of a sex life up until she met me. Over time I had patiently exposed her to some more exotic sexual styles such as orgasms (!), anal, bondage (with her submissive), and, later on, even some water sports when she was tied up. She liked it when I would tie her hands behind her back, blindfold her, gag her and then put her through various bondage positions. She also seemed to like a little humiliation along with some light pain. I would tie her up on her knees with her ass up in the air and insert household items up her butt while I masturbated. Then I would fuck her ass and, after I came, I would march her into the tiny bathroom, put her on her knees in the tub and pee all over her body, on her face and even into her mouth. Sometimes I would sit on the toilet and have her kneel in front of me. I would grab her head and push it between my legs. Then I would piss on her face and into her mouth, forcing her to drink some of it. After I finished peeing, I would get up, go around behind her, and fuck her up the ass while her head was still in the toilet and the toilet seat and lid were closed down on her head. One of her favorite positions was for her to lie on her back and then have me sit on her face looking at her feet. Then she would eat my asshole for hours on end while I fingered her clit and inserted dildoes into her pussy and asshole. For a finale, I would move my asshole to the tip of her nose and she would force her nose up my ass and lick my balls while I jacked off. However, I digress.

While she agreed to (and enjoyed!) all of the sex things I had shown her, I could not convince her to bring home another woman to have sex with both of us. Then one evening during dinner, unexpectedly, she suddenly looked me straight in the eye. 

"I think I found someone," she said.

"Found someone for what?" I asked.

"You know...a woman...someone to bring home...like you're always asking me to do?"

"Oh, really," I croaked, "What's she like? "

She said the woman was a very nice looking woman who was maybe 7 years older than she was, had a great figure, dressed conservatively and worked as an office assistant. She often came into the bar and would sometimes leave with a man but she had confided to a few people that she also liked the occasional woman. She had Joined Eva outside of the bar one evening for a smoke break when Eva had just blurted out, "Would you like to spend the night with me and my boyfriend?" Eva said Lita (that was her name) just smiled and continued to take drags off her cigarette. 

After a few uncomfortable seconds of ogling Eva's body, Lita had stomped out her ciggie and said, "Sure, O.K... when?"

Taken by surprise Eva mumbled, "I'm not sure....I'll let you know, I guess."

We decided to make the date for the following Saturday. As Eva cleaned the house like a demon during the week, I sat around thinking of what I would say and do when she got here (I was sure that as the 'guy' I would be expected to keep things moving along).Eva went to work at the bar as usual on Saturday and the time seemed to crawl by as I waited at the house. Finally, about 2:30 a.m., I saw Eva's headlights coming down the road followed by another pair of headlights. "Oh shit..." I thought, "This is really going to happen!" I heard them talking and giggling as they walked from their cars to the house. Screwing up my courage, I opened the door gallantly. "Welcome beautiful ladies." I said. And, with a bow at the waist and flourish of my arm, I bade them to enter.

"What a nice place!" Lita tittered as she walked in. 

She was as Eva had described her. She was plain looking, wearing a business suit with a very short skirt. She had short brown hair and what looked to be a good body stuffed underneath all of those clothes. I mixed their favorite cocktails and we sat around for a while talking and laughing about the bar and some of its more colorful patrons. I offered a joint and Lita cautiously took a hit of it and passed it around. Then I asked if she would like to join Eva and myself in taking some 'blackbirds', which were prescription amphetamine pills Eva and I had taken from her mom's extensive collection of 'legal' drugs. After all, it was almost three in the morning and no one wanted to get drowsy, did they. Lita, Eva and I all swallowed one pill apiece and continued our small talk.

When I felt the pill coming on I decided it was now or never. Downing my drink, I stood up. 

"Well now, we all know why we're here," I announced. "Why don't we go into the bedroom and get better acquainted? ". Eva and Lita looked at each other and, to my great relief, finished their drinks and got up to join me.

Before they had arrived, I had already lit a couple of scented candles and a warm glow permeated the bedroom as we entered.

"I think we should start off by giving our guest a special Welcome to Our House Massage, don't you Eva? ", I said. Eva nodded her agreement. "Well then, why don't we all strip down to our underwear?" We all started stripping, darting glances at each other as we did. I was pleasantly surprised (as was Eva I am sure!) to see that Lita was starting to reveal a very hot looking body for someone her age. Her breasts were full and her ass very inviting indeed. After we took in each other's bodies for a short time I said, "Lita why don't you lay on your back in the middle of the bed...Eva you get on one side of Lita and I'll lay on the other." Lita lay down where I asked and Eva and I took our positions on either side of her, propping ourselves up on our elbows facing Lita. "Lita," I said, "Why don't you raise up a little so Eva can undo your bra? ". Lita rose up and Eva pulled one of her bra straps down off her shoulder. I then did the same to the other strap and Eva reached around Lita to undo the bra clasp. Lita lay back down and I had Eva slowly pull her bra entirely off. "Oh! You have very nice tits Lita! ", I told her as the milky white tits poured out from the bra. She had large, dark brown nipples that were just starting to crinkle up. Eva was staring intently at the inviting feast.

" Now, Eva, I'm going to massage her left tit, then I'm going to kiss it all over, then lick and suck on the nipple," I said, "I want you to do the same to her other tit. " I began my rubbing and nuzzling of Lita's left tit, rubbing the areola and pulling it between my thumb and fingers all the time watching what Eva would do with the tit on her side. It was now or never! Eva studied what I was doing, stared at the tit for a while, then cupped it in her hand and began to gently rub her cheeks and face against the white mound. After a few minutes of this she wet her lips then started to softly run them and her tongue all around the entire boob and finally across the stiffening brown nipple. In addition, after kissing the nipple all over, Eva opened her mouth to take it inside and suck on it while she squeezed the entire breast. Lita was moaning softly with her eyes closed and starting to move her hips in rhythm with our actions. As I watched, Eva started to enjoy her self on Lita's luscious boob my cock escaped from my underwear and when my dickhead touched against Lita's thigh, she groaned and opened her legs slightly. 

"Oh yeah, "Lita whispered, "Suck on my fucking tits... suck on them HARD! " 

Eva and I both obliged her and started to suck harder, even use our teeth to pull on the large brown tips. Without taking my mouth off Lita's boob, I reached over, took Eva's hand from Lita's tit, and slid it down towards Lita's crotch. When our hands reached Lita's under wear, I cupped her pussy mound on the outside of her panties with Eva's hand in mine. Lita groaned and pushed her throbbing cunt up against our hands as we rubbed her pussy slit. I looked at Eva and, although she still had Lita's tit in her mouth sucking on it, her eyes glued to our hands on the underwear as I forced her hand and fingers to explore another woman's pussy for the first time. With Eva's hand still firmly in mine, I dipped our hands down into the plastic band of Lita's panties. As our fingers reached her wet, hairy pussy, I could feel how her pussy started to suck on our fingers. I started pushing Eva's middle finger into the slippery tunnel. 

Lita gasped, "Oh FUCK YES... rub my fucking CUNT god dammit... finger-fuck my pussy good and hard! " 

With two of Eva's fingers firmly entrenched in Lita's cunt I removed my hand and nodded to Eva as if to say 'Go on...finger her fucking cunt, baby' and she started a medium rhythm in and out of Lita's pussy. I got to my knees, rubbed my cock on Lita's tits and then presented the head of it to Lita's lips. She sucked on it hungrily as she pulled on her own nipples. I could see that Lita's panties were hindering Eva's hand movements so I took my cock out of Lita's wet, sucking mouth. 

"Eva," I said, "I want you to go down to the foot of the bed and help Lita take her panties off. Then I want you to take all your underwear off and lay down between her legs so your face is right over her pussy." 

Knowing what she was about to be made to do; Eva slowly removed her finger from Lita's pussy and moved to the foot of the bed. Lita raised her legs and Eva peeled off Lita's panties and then her own panties and bra. She stretched out on her stomach between Lita's legs so she was face to face with the other woman's pussy. 

I pointed to the top of Lita's pussy hair and instructed Eva, "Now, I want you to start here and slowly kiss her cunt all over. Then I want you to kiss all the way back to the top of her ass-crack then back up to her clit. When you get to her clit spread her pussy lips, put your mouth over her clit, suck, and lick it until I tell you to stop. "

Eva stared down at the wet, undulating, hairy crack. She looked up at me for a reprieve and, getting none, she took to the task. She very softly lowered her face into Lita's moist pubic hair and rolled her face from side to side a few times, inhaling the fragrant scent of another woman's pussy and feeling the forbidden softness for the first time. She started gently kissing at the top of Lita's pussy hair and began working her way down her pussy slit, over her 'tween spot and towards Lita's butt-crack. Lita raised her legs and butt to give Eva a clear shot at her ass crack and I noticed that Eva lingered awhile when she got to Lita's hairy, brown, puckering asshole (I knew she would!). Eva reached the top of Lita's ass crack and started kissing her way back to Lita's clit. When she got to the clit area, she gingerly parted Lita's vulva and began licking her engorged clit with just the very tip of her tongue.

"OH FUCK...YES!" Lita yelled as she pulled her own nipple from her lips, her eyes wide with pleasure. "Lick my fucking clit god dammit...SUCK on it! "

Lita popped her own nipple back into her mouth and began pulling furiously on her other nipple so hard I thought it would tear from her boob. Eva put her whole mouth around Lita's vulva and, by the looks of her bellowing cheeks, started to lick and suck on it at the same time. "UHggnhhnnh!" was the sound from Lita's tit-occupied mouth as she began a serious humping of Eva's face.

On her own, Eva again slid two fingers up Lita's slickened pussy for the second time and started to finger-bang her as hard as she could while she ate the other woman's' pussy. I could also see Eva start an unconscious grinding of her own pussy on the bedspread. "FUCK, FUCK!" Lita exclaimed as her nipple popped out of her own mouth and she grabbed Eva's head with both hands. "You are gonna make me fuckin CUM GOD DAMMIT!" I looked down to see Eva's face buried nose deep in Lita's pubic hair and noticed her eyes getting wide as she was starting to run out of air. "You fucking twat, take my fucking cum you fucking bitch!!" Lita screamed. And with that Lita make one last, hard hump against Eva's face, held her quaking hips in the air for about a minute then collapsed them back down on the bed with a loud thump, letting go of Eva's ears and letting Eva's lungs get some much needed air.

Not wanting anyone to lose momentum, I instructed Lita to scoot over and had Eva take her place lying on her back in the middle of the bed. I swung my legs over Eva's head and placed my knees on each side of her shoulders with my head facing her feet. 

"Suck on my fucking balls! " I ordered Eva. "Put'em in your fucking mouth! " 

I lowered my balls and Eva immediately began a vigorous sucking of my hairy balls as I jerked on my rock hard cock. Lita was lying on her side watching all this and playing with Eva's tits and pussy. I grabbed her head and forced her to start sucking my dick. What a feeling! Things were going very well! I told Lita to lie on top of Eva's spread legs so she could rub her clit against Eva's hot mound. After she got into position I pulled my balls from Eva's mouth, moved my anus over her lips and without any goading at all she started to moan loudly into my asshole as she sucked and tongued it. "Yeah, that's it... eat my fucking asshole!" I moaned as I grabbed Lita's head again, pulled it to my cock and began loudly fucking her mouth. After a few minutes of this, I let go of Lita's ears, grabbed Eva's ankles and spread her legs as far and as high as they would go. I jerked my asshole from Eva's sucking mouth and put the center of my wet, crinkly asshole on the very tip of her nose. Eva threw her head forward and began to wriggle her nose as deep as it would go up my ass as she licked my shifting hairy ball sack. I had Eva's nose in my asshole, her tongue on my balls and Lita's mouth on my cock while she fucked Eva's hot slit with her clit and pulled on Eva's nipples at the same time. "Goddamn, "I thought, "It doesn't get any better than this! "

After awhile in this position, I thought I felt an orgasm start to come on so I jerked Lita's head off my hard, swollen cock and told her to change places with me. I got off Eva's face and Lita replaced me putting her swollen, dripping pussy just inches from Evas face. Eva reached up, grabbed Lita's waist and pulled her asshole down to her waiting lips and tongue. "AHH... FUCK YEAH!" Lita cried out as she fingered her clit and humped her ass on Eva's face. Instead of fucking Eva, I laid down beside her so I could watch the hot action going on down in Lita's crotch area. Eva was making slurping, sucking noises like she was tasting butterscotch for the first time and I was diddling her clit as hard and fast as I could. I rose up and whispered in Lita's ear, "Put your asshole on her nose...she'll do the rest." She did as I said and a moan exited her lips as Eva began nose fucking her sweet asshole and darting her tongue in and out of her sopping pussy.

I began to formulate another idea. Now, as a background, I should tell you that the one thing Eva could not stand was for someone to stick a tongue down her throat while she was having sex. Or at least she PRETENDED to hate it! I did it once while we were fucking and she tried to buck me off as hard as she could while trying to remove my mouth from hers. I was puzzled until I felt a hot rush of fluid over my cock. She had just had the most intense orgasm I had ever seen her (or any other girl for that matter) have. When I got off her, she was pissed! "Don't you EVER do that again or you'll be sorry!" she screamed at me. I guess that she was angry at having something make her come so easily against her will. She was so mad that in the name of household peace I said 'O.K.' and never repeated that action again.

Now I had an idea. I whispered to Lita to turn around and fuck Eva's face until she came and then rub her cum all over Eva's upturned face. I told her after she was done I would straddle Eva's face and shoot my load into her mouth. Lita turned around and started an intense face fucking of my girlfriend. Lita fell forward onto her left elbow and with her right hand she grabbed Eva's' skull and came all over her cunt-sucking face. Lita rose up, rubbed her ample cum on Eva's face, and made her lick the remaining splooge out of her dripping pussy. As soon as she finished I straddled Eva's face and told Lita, "Lift her head up so I can shoot off in her cock sucking mouth." Lita raised Eva's head until her open mouth was even with my pisshole. As I was about to cum I hissed down to Eva, "Stick your fucking tongue out and keep your cock sucking mouth open after I cum...don't fucking close your mouth 'til I say its O.K... got it?" Eva nodded as best she could just as I let fly with a bucket of cum into her waiting mouth. You could hear an audible 'Splat' as it hit the back of her mouth. "Keep your fucking mouth open." I told Eva as I squeezed out the last drops on her face.

I swung my body off of Eva's chest and told Lita, "Lay on top of her...tit to tit and clit to clit...like your gonna fuck her." Lita took her place on top of the still open-mouthed Eva.

"Now grab her head with both hands. " Lita complied and I continued, "Now lick and suck my cum out of her fucking mouth." And, before Eva could react, Lita threw her mouth on Eva's and started sticking her tongue as far as she could into Eva's mouth to get at all of my cum. Eva's reaction was what I predicted. Not being able to move she bucked as hard as she could, trying to throw Lita off. "MPHMUHTFHP!" was all Lita could hear and she took both that sound and Eva's bucking action as a sign to not only continue what she was doing, but to intensify her actions. Lita began to fuck Eva's pussy with her clit while she licked the entire inside of Eva's mouth and throat. Eva finally gave up, wrapped her legs around Lita's back and they both came like rutting wildcats.

Afterward, we all three lay on the bed, sweaty and exhausted. 

"You two really know how to have hot, dirty, filthy sex. " Lita mused. "I wouldn't mind coming back some time."

Oh, you will, I thought to myself, you definitely will.

Eva Ch. 02



Tick-Tock. Tick-Tock.

I am sitting in ninth period study hall, watching the clock.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash of white fly through the air. A folded up piece of paper lands on my desk.

 Hey, you've been really quiet lately. Are you OK? 

I sigh and look over at Eva. She's studiously reading her history text, but I can see the concern in her eyes. 

 Just a little under the weather. 

I pass the note surreptitiously back to her. I watch her unfold it and read. She nervously chews on the end of her ballpoint pen.

 Jacob called. He wants to get back together. 

Surprised, I turn my head to look at her, but she is staring straight ahead, her face betraying nothing.

 What are you going to do? 

 I don't know. I know he broke my heart, but I still love him. 

Love. I knew that things were serious between them, they went out for a year after all, but I had no idea that she  loved  him. 

All of my hopes for a possible relationship with Eva fly out the window. What had happened between us really was nothing but what it was, a drunken mistake.

For the rest of the period, I stare intently at the chalkboard, ignoring Eva, fighting tears.

The moment the bell rings, I am out the door, running to the gym. Despite my heart being wrenched out of my chest, I still have volleyball practice, just like every other day.

Two hours later, I drive home, mentally and physically exhausted. I trudge through the front door and into the kitchen.

Instead of seeing my mother cooking dinner, as I expect, I see her sitting at the island, chatting with a vaguely familiar man.

They hear my footsteps and look up, startled.

"Hi, mom."

"Hello, honey! How was school today?"

Her eyes are nervous as they dash from me to him and back again.

"Good, I guess. Hey, Uncle Joe."

"Uncle Joseph is here for the weekend, isn't that wonderful? You know we haven't seen each other much since I moved out here to New York. You know, I don't think my mother ever did get over me marrying your father."

While my mother continues babbling nervously, I look over at Joseph. He is tall and strong. Rugged and dark, many women would consider his features handsome. I don't. The way his sharp blue eyes look at me is cold, lacking the warmth necessary to make such color friendly, like Eva. When he smiles at me, it is nothing more than a smirk.

My mother's only sibling, Joseph is two years younger than she is. Apparently, when they were kids, they were very close. Nonetheless, my mother had a tense relationship with her parents and married my father the minute she turned eighteen. She left the state and never came back.

That is why I had never met my grandparents. Every few years Uncle Joe would show up for Christmas, but I never really got to know him. He just rubs me the wrong way.

I quickly excuse myself and walk upstairs to the shower. 

I turn on the water as hot as it will go, relishing the faint burn it causes on my tender skin. The steaming water is cathartic for me and I allow the pounding jets to work out all of the stress in my back and shoulders.

As the steam rises in tendrils off the shower floor, so my visions of Eva rise as well. I allow the memories to envelop me as I unconsciously smooth soap in lazy circles over my skin.

I fondle my breast as I recall her scent, so full and enthralling. My hand circles lower and lower, massaging my smooth belly.

I close my eyes and lean back against the wall, my flushed skin jumping in contact with the cold tiles.

My dark hair lies heavy and wet upon my breast, sharp in contrast to my recollections of Eva's honeyed strands.

As my hand drifts down to caress my slit, I imagine that it is not I, but Eva who touches me there. Her slender fingers stroke me gently as she leans her head against my shoulder and whispers in my ear.

"So soft, my darling. So sweet."

Alone in my shower, I moan in ecstasy and spiral up towards heaven. As I reach my climax, I cry out her name and sink to the floor.

Reality crashing down on me, my face crumples and tears threaten to spill onto my cheeks.

Long minutes pass as I fight a losing battle to my tears, until I finally pull myself together and step out of the shower.

Pulling a towel around me, I stare into the fogged up mirror. My dark brown eyes are bloodshot, making my lily-white skin look even paler, wan even. Unshed teardrops glisten on my dense lashes, causing them to flutter and clump together.

As my eyes float lower, I drop the towel to view the rest of me.

The stress of the last few weeks has not been kind to me. My figure, normally lithe, is skirting on unhealthy. Already prominent, my collarbones and shoulder blades stick and jut out with every movement.

The full but modest swell of my bosom distracts from my delicate figure usually, but has deflated with my recent weight loss.

I look sick.

It is just this moment when the bathroom door swings open. I shriek and grasp my towel around me.

My Uncle Joseph, beet red, quickly slams the door shut with a muttered apology.

In a few minutes, when my heart rate has returned to normal, I dress and go downstairs for dinner, unable to meet my uncle's eyes.

Three days later, Eva calls to tell me she has taken Jacob back. Again, I remind her of how he broke her heart, but she is deaf to me.

"Won't you please just have dinner with us? Jacob's really changed."

I sigh. She keeps saying that, but somehow I can't believe her.

"You know how I feel about him."

"I know, but won't you just do this for me? It would mean so much to me if the two people I cared most for in the world cared for each other too."

Our conversation continues along this vein for another few minutes until I finally give in. I always do. We make plans to have dinner together, the three of us, the next Saturday.



Eva Ch. 03



 I moan as her soft, alabaster hands gently stroke my velvet thighs. The silk sheets are cool on my back, sliding across my skin so sensually. Her hair drapes across my legs, tickling my tender skin and heightening every touch. 

Then, something snaps.

I hear a small gasp as I roughly pull her face to my opening.

She pushes her hands off my thighs and flies away from me, wiping her mouth.

"Stay away from me, you filthy dyke! You're nothing but a fat, smelly, filthy dyke! I hate you!"

The venom fills her face and distorts it, twisting into a grotesque caricature. In fact, it is becoming something new altogether.

I watch in horror as her willowy frame transforming into a gigantic, ugly creature. Spit flying from her wide, gaping mouth, she hisses at me.

"Filthy, fat, slobbery, slime! Get away from me, GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Bursting forth from her flimsy silk slip, her arms, now long and hairy, frantically scuttle backwards as she continues to spew depraved, noxious bile from her fanged maw.

Around me, the sensuous, sleek, candle-lit harem we had been lying in melts to the ground, leaving nothing but oozing piles of slime, scattered around the tattered pallet I am sprawled out on.

In revulsion and shock, I reach one hand out towards her, just as she begins to scream. 

All of a sudden, I awake with a start. For a moment, I am still ensnared by my nightmare, and feverishly tear my bed apart looking for spiders. 

It is still early, that I can see from the darkness outside my window. Wiping the cold sweat from my brow, I grab the alarm clock from my side table to check the time.

4:36 AM.

I groan out loud. Tonight I promised to have dinner with Eva and Jacob.

After tossing and turning for a few minutes, I decide to get up and start the day early.

I take a hot shower, scrubbing away all of the shameful remnants of my nightmare.

As much as I try to ignore it, my nightmare disturbs me. I know now that I have to reveal my true feelings to Eva. If I don't, I will live a lifetime of regret.

Walking back into my room, I spy a piece of white paper sticking out from underneath my dresser. I walk over and pick it up. It is an old birthday card.

On the front is a sparkly pink birthday cake. The glitter is scratchy as I run my fingertips over it, like sandpaper. I open up the card and read the words scribbled on the inside.

 Dearest, darling Julie,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways! Ha ha, just kidding. I am serious though. You're my best friend and I love you. You're the only one who was looking out for me when I needed you to most. 

Anyway, enough with the mushy stuff. Happy 18th, kid!

Your partner in crime,

Eva 

Teardrops roll off my cheeks and onto the careworn paper. After tonight, she won't love me anymore.

Tenderly, I put the card in my top drawer and get dressed.

My mind is a million miles away as I bump down the stairs. So far away, in fact, that I don't see the dark figure sitting on the bottom step until it's too late.

With a startled shout, I trip and we both go flying. I end up lying on my back on the hardwood floor, with a heavy form on top of me.

Quickly, Uncle Joe scrambles off of me and pulls me to my feet.

"Are you okay?"

The wind knocked out of me, it is all I can do to nod. I follow him into the shadowy kitchen, illuminated only by the faintest fingers of dawn peeking out over the horizon.

I sit down at the granite countertop as he opens the fridge. In the light spilling out of the door, I can see that he is weary, with dark circles prominent under his eyes.

"Do you want some juice?"

"I guess so. My throat is a little scratchy."

As he hands me the glass, I can see his eyes scan up and down my body, finally coming to rest on my face.

"What are you doing up so early?"

I shrug, unable to look at him in the face.

"Couldn't sleep."

When Uncle Joe doesn't respond, I glance over to see him crimson faced, staring at his feet. He shuffles embarrassedly before opening his mouth.

"Me neither. I feel really weird about the other day."

Somehow, his confession makes me feel better about the incident myself.

"No, it's okay, it was an accident," I assure him, "besides, we're related, so it doesn't really count."

"I know, it's just, well, you're all grown up, and, I don't know, I just got uncomfortable."

His shy awkwardness makes me smile. I don't know why I ever disliked him so.

I down the rest of my juice and put the glass in the sink, yawning.

"I think I'm going to go back to bed. I'm not feeling so well."

"Okay," Uncle Joe replies, "Shout if you need me."

I walk back up the stairs and throw myself down on the bed, falling asleep immediately. 

Six hours later, my brother banging on my bedroom door awakens me.

"Hey, sis! Eva's on the phone for you!"

Grumbling, I drag my sore, aching body out of bed and open the door.

Standing in front of my door is my sixteen-year-old brother, holding out the cordless phone. His eyes widen as he takes in my bedraggled appearance.

"Shit, sis. You look like crap."

"Thanks," I say sarcastically, slamming the door.

Flopping down on my pink coverlet, I rasp into the phone, "Hey?"

"Hey, Julie! It's me!"

I chuckle nervously to myself.

"Yeah, I know. What did you want to talk about?"

"I just wanted to remind you about dinner tonight."

I groan quietly.

"Thanks, actually, I forgot. I just woke up."

"Seriously? Julie, it's noon!"

"About the dinner..." My thought is interrupted by an uncontrollable coughing fit.

"Hey, Julie, are you okay? Look, if you're sick, we can have dinner some other time."

"Yeah, sure. Thanks."

We chat idly for a few more minutes, discussing the finals we took last week, upcoming graduation, and college.

Finally, I hang up, breathe a sigh of relief, and fall back into my fever-induced coma.

I am awakened for the third time today, now by my mother gently shaking my shoulder.

"Honey, Eva's here for you," she whispers in my ear. "If you want me to send her away because you're sick, I can do that. I don't think it's a good idea for you to be seeing someone like her now."

Irritated, I snap back, "No, I'll go see her."

As I walk, zombie-like, down the stairs, I see Eva waiting in my front hall with a pizza. When she hears me coming down, she whirls around, a smile lighting up her face to rival a spotlight.

"Hey," she calls out, "are you feeling any better?"

Ignoring her question, I yawn and ask, "What time is it?"

"Almost eight-o-clock, silly! Have you been sleeping all day?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you look sick. You're so pale."

I roll my eyes as I grab the pizza.

A few hours later, I'm sitting on the couch, the pizza gone, watching Eva watch TV.

The flickering blue light of the screen makes her honey-red hair look green. That fair creamy skin I swear I could feel under my fingertips is washed out and pale. She is looking at the TV, but her eyes are glassy and unfocused.

Yawning, I nudge her knee gently with my foot.

"Eva?"

Without moving her eyes from the screen she murmurs, "Mm-hm?"

I take a deep breath. It's now or never.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

She looks at me now, surprise written all over her face.

"For what?"

Not saying a word, I slip my feet under my legs, raising myself to my knees. The seconds tick by like hours as I slowly lean over Eva's lithe body.

When my face is a few inches from hers, her eyes flutter shut and a sigh escapes her supple lips. The feeling of her warm breath floating over my face is my undoing. My eyes sliding shut, I press my lips to hers.

I lay my body onto hers, settling in against her soft curves so perfectly.

It is exactly as how I had remembered, and yet so much more intense. The quiver of her lips, the silkiness of her skin, the comforting solidness of her hip in my hand, all spark a fire within me.

This is no gentle heat settling in the pit of my stomach, no, this was far different. It is searing, tingling, from my head to my toes, extending out to my fingertips and out the end of every hair on my scalp.

I run my hands between us, up and down her stomach, finally slipping beneath the hem of her shirt to stroke her bare ribs.

One of my thighs slips in between hers and nudges her in her most sensitive place.

With a gasp, her arms tighten around my shoulders and she breaks the kiss. As I stare into her moist blue eyes, I see so many emotions, too many to count. I see arousal and confusion, but most of all, fear.

Dipping my head once more, my tongue slides in between her cherry lips to the wetness of her mouth.

Abandoning her mouth, I trail soft kisses down her jaw line and to her neck. I suck gently on her collarbone as her hands stroke up and down my back.

I grab the hem of her shirt, about to pull it up, when I feel her hand on mine.

"No," she breathes, "stop."

I look up and see the horror and shock in her face.

"No, I can't do this," she says, shaking her head, "I can't do this."

Stunned, I can do nothing but watch as she slides out from underneath me and walks out the door.



Eva Ch. 04



Somehow, I drag my limp, feverish body off of the couch and upstairs to my room. I fall on my bed, lifeless. How long I lie there, I have no idea.

I am snapped back to animation by a knock on my door.

"Hello?"

"Come in," I say weakly.

I raise my head up off of my cool, smooth quilt as my mother walks into the room.

Cautiously, my mother walks over to my bed and gingerly sits down.

"Honey, I just saw Eva leaving, very upset," she says, nervously smoothing her hands over the coverlet. "Is anything wrong?"

Without another word, I start to cry. Tears flooding my cheeks, my gasp hitches in my throat and I cannot breathe. I roll over and press my face into my pillow, breathing in the familiar scent of laundry and home.

She rubs my back awkwardly, trying to soothe me. Eventually, I cry myself to sleep, exhausted by my panting sobs. The dull blackness of a deep dreamless sleep is a welcome relief.

I sleep and I sleep, but never do I dream. I am plunged into a gray, empty, endless vortex of nothingness.

For almost eight hours, I sleep. When I awaken, the sky is just lightening. My face is dry and tight, and, for a moment, I can't recall why. Then, I see the picture of Eva and me on my bedside table and I remember last night's tears.

I stumble downstairs to the smell of coffee and see my mother, father, uncle, and brother all sitting around the kitchen island.

I can feel the stony silence settle like fog on my shoulders.

Hearing my footsteps approach, all four heads whip up to look at me.

"You little dyke!" My mother's face, red with rage, scrunches up as she screams at me. I stumble back a few steps, shaken by the fury radiating from her.

"Amelia, calm down! This is no time to get hysterical," my father orders, surprisingly composed. He takes my mother by the arm and leads her upstairs, leaving me alone with my brother and uncle.

I look over at my brother, who is avoiding my face.

"Eva called."

My heart drops through my stomach and my mouth goes dry.

"Wh-what did she say?"

"What do you think," he spits out in disgust. "I gotta go." With that, he pushes his chair away from the island, the long wooden legs scraping across the floor. 

The house is eerily silent, the only noises being the slam of the front door as my brother stalks out and the gurgling of the coffee machine.

I slide into an empty seat, staring straight through the granite countertop.

The thump of heavy feet coming down the stairs heralds my father's arrival. I glance up to see him stop at the bottom step and he looks at me, really looks at me.

In the past month, I have lost a lot of weight that I didn't need to lose. My eyes must be bloodshot and puffy from all the weeping, and I haven't changed my clothes all weekend.

Ignoring his brother by my side, my father says, "Get your shoes on. We're going for a walk."

I scramble to my feet, running to the front door, sliding my feet into a pair of clogs as I go. He marches out behind me and pulls the door shut.

The early morning air is surprisingly crisp for late June. Wearing only a tank top and pajama shorts, my arms and legs break out in goose bumps as I hop up and down, trying to warm up.

My father strides down the driveway, setting a brisk pace as we walk down the sidewalk. I silently thank God that the streets are deserted, so that no one can see me in my disheveled, half-clothed state.

After about fifteen minutes of walking in quiet, my father speaks.

"Why did you never tell me?" 

"What?" I ask, surprised. 

He stops walking and I realize that we are at the elementary school playground.

"Follow me," he says. Unexpectedly, he takes my hand and leads me to the swing set.

As I sit down on the swings, I am bombarded with memories of Eva and I sitting on these very seats, laughing, playing, growing up together. A tear slips past my closed eyelid and rolls down my cheek. I can hear the creak of the chains as my father squeezes into a seat far too small for his large frame.

Without a word, I can feel the warm weight of his hand on my shoulder, gently rubbing.

"Shh, shh, it's okay," he begins to murmur. Heaving, dry sobs wrack my body. After all the crying that I have done this weekend, I don't think I have a single more drop of water in me.

I am tired. I am dry. I feel like I'm shriveled up into a tiny worm. And I am so  fucking  sick of it.

Finally, I calm down, the crying turning into mild hiccups, and then finally disappearing altogether.

"Thanks," I say when my father hands me his handkerchief. As I pull it up to my nose, I giggle a little at how my father is dressed in a suit and tie with a clean cotton handkerchief in his pocket at seven 'o clock in the morning.

Looking over at him, I giggle even more when I see his large frame stuffed into the tiny, elementary school swing. He looks thoroughly uncomfortable. Soon, my sniggers turn into contagious laughter, and my father and I are holding our bellies, laughing so hard we can't breathe.

All of a sudden, however, I remember the real reason we came out here, and the laughter instantly escapes me.

Sensing my nervousness, my father clears his throat. 

"So," he says, "That was quite a shock your mother had this morning."

I wrap my hands around the cold chain of the swing, twisting it around my arms while trying to think of an answer.

"Yes."

He sighs and leans back in his swing.

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised." 

I look up at him in astonishment.

"You  knew?"

Chuckling softly, he says, "Of course I knew. You're my only daughter."

Seeing the look of disbelief on my face, he nods.

"I did know. I saw the way you looked at her."

I blush and look back down at my bare legs, goose bumps forming in the air. 

"So you don't mind?"

"Of course not. I love you."

"But what about Mother?"

He sighs and looks up at the strawberry-colored early morning sky. "Your mother and I don't exactly see eye to eye on a lot of things."

"And Bobby?"

"I'll work on your brother," he says with conviction.

I pause, and then say, "What exactly happened this morning?"

"The telephone woke up your mother and me this morning. It was Eva. Unfortunately, your mother was the one to pick up the phone. I still don't know exactly what Eva said, although I can guess."

"I kissed her," I say abruptly. He looks up at me, surprise in his eyes.

"Well, good for you. I never thought you'd do it."

Ignoring him, I continue, "We were together once before. After the party a few weeks ago. She doesn't remember."

He whistles lowly. "Wow. I couldn't have guessed that."

We sit in silence for a few more minutes. I let my body completely relax, my head sagging against the cool metal chains. The clean morning air kisses my skin as I drift back and forth with the wind, my feet dragging along the wood chips.

All around us, the world is waking up. I can hear people talking in their houses, making breakfast, getting into cars and driving away. In a hundred houses all along the streets, a hundred mothers flipping Sunday morning pancakes, a hundred fathers reading the paper, a hundred sons and daughters fighting over the last glass of orange juice. 

I once was one of them.



Eva Ch. 05



The door thuds behind me as my father pulls it closed. His hand on my shoulder, he leads me through the living room, past my scowling mother, and up the stairs.

At the top of the stairs, he pulls me into a hug.

"Go take a shower, get dressed. I'll talk to your mother," he whispers into my ear.

"Thanks," I say, my voice raspy.

I walk into my bedroom and grab a pair of jeans off of my desk chair and a shirt from the floor. When did I get so messy? Throwing the clothes down on the bed, I grab the rest of the mess off the floor and open my closet. I dump the dirty clothes into the hamper and a flash of blue catches my eye. I reach into the closet and pull out my graduation dress. Holding it up to my body, I look at my reflection in the mirror on the closet door. I sigh and put it back in the closet. 

I scoop the jeans and shirt off of the bed and walk into the bathroom. I look in the mirror with detachment; that can't possibly be me. Deciding to skip the shower, I pull on my jeans and shirt. As I smooth the shirt over my stomach, I know what I must do.

Running out of the bathroom, I grab my suitcase from the hall closet. I throw it down on my bed and begin flinging clothes in it, whatever I pick up. I run back to the bathroom and grab my toothbrush, my medicine, and my makeup case. These things packed, along with a picture of my family, my favorite books, and the picture of Eva and me, I pull on some sneakers and a sweater. The last thing I do before I leave is grab my stash of 200 dollars from under my bed.

As I sneak down the stairs, every footstep is like an explosion in the near silent house. Avoiding the living room where I could hear my father's hushed, soothing voice talking to my mother, I slowly open the back door, wincing at the screech it makes as it swings open. I run around the back of the house and down the street to my car parked on the corner. I toss my suitcase on the backseat, climb in and start the car. 

I'm gone.

After driving down the highway for an hour, I can feel the tears burn behind my eyes. I pull over to the side of the road and put on my blinkers, the tears now rolling down my face. In less than two hours, I've left eighteen years of my life behind me. What am I leaving behind? I took all my finals, I can get my diploma mailed to me, and I've already been accepted to college. My bank account, with all of my money saved for school, is in my name.

The only thing I'm leaving behind is Eva. Eva. Not only my one-time lover, but also my best friend. My comfort, my safe haven. I don't know if I can survive without her, but my mind is made up. I need to start over.

My eyes now dry and containing a fire of determination, I pull back onto the highway and drive to the nearest diner. I grab a twenty and walk into the diner.

The thing that hits me first is the overwhelming smell of grease, rancid and sickening. Choking back a cough, I am greeted by the middle-aged, bosomy waitress.

"Can I help you," she asked, not unfriendly.

"Yes, please," I say, "Do you have a pay phone?"

Smiling, she points towards the bathrooms.

"Oh," I say, looking down at my palm, "Do you have change for a twenty?"

Seeing my tearstained face and the confusion in my eyes, she gives me an understanding look.

"Come with me, sugar," she says with a gentle nod of her head.

I follow her past the greasy tables, gathering lewd smirks from the tough, wizened clientele of small-town rural workers, behind the counter, and through the kitchen, instantly assaulted by the intense cooking smells. Grease spits and hisses out of the deep fryers like some kind of dragon, while the oven groans and moans.

She takes me out behind the kitchen into a small room with a small table and chairs. Sitting down, she motions for me to do the same.

As I sit, she unties her apron and breathes a sigh of relief as she slips her swollen feet out of her sneakers.

Leaning forwards with a grunt, she takes my hands in hers. Her hands are warm and soft, comforting like my own mother's never were.

"Tell me what happened."

With a deep breath, I look at her face. I am somehow prepared to tell her, a perfect stranger, what I kept a secret from my family for eighteen years.

"I'm running away," I say, "I couldn't take it there anymore."

"Where?"

"With my family. I was," here I pause, "My best friend told my family this morning that I'm," I could hardly say the word, "a lesbian. My mother and brother aren't taking too well."

Nodding, she sits back, the metal folding chair groaning beneath her.

"I'm in love with her and she hates me now. I'm leaving for college before everyone knows," I continue rapidly, "I just need to start over or I'll never be happy and may I please use your phone?"

"Sure, honey." 

From out in the kitchen, we hear, "Mandy, what the fuck do you think you're doing? You're not on break yet! Get your ass out here!"

"I'll be right there Bob!" she yells back, adding, "You big blowhorn."

She slips her feet back in her shoes and ties her apron back on. Her hand on the doorknob, she pauses, turning back to me.

"You know," she says, "You remind me of my baby sister, Lisa."

"She's gay?"

Chuckling, she said, "That, too, but I was thinking of your spirit. She was so, forgive me for saying, afraid. Afraid of love, afraid of loss, but mostly afraid of being alone. You're afraid of being alone, I can see that. Lisa ran her whole life, then God gave her a firm smack around the back of the head and she sat down to listen. You might be running away, but you aren't really leaving them behind."

"I know," I say, "I don't think I really can, can I?"

"No, sugar, you can't." 

When I stand up she slings her arm around my shoulder and guides me to the counter, like a shepherd guides a sheep to the pasture. With a smile, she sets down the phone and a piece of lemon meringue pie in front of me. I look at her, eyebrow raised.

"Sometimes, there's nothing wrong with a piece of pie in the morning," she says with a warm smile and a wink

With a weak smile, I sit down and cautiously pick up the phone. My hands shake as I dial the number. It rings and rings, and when I finally decide to hang up I hear a familiar voice on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Daddy," I whisper.

"Julie, is that you," he cries, "I've been so worried!"

"I'm sorry. I just had to leave."

"Where are you going?"

"I think I'm going to head up to the college," I say, "I've been accepted, I might as well take some summer courses."

With a sigh I can barely hear over the static on the phone, he replies, "Only you know what's best. I wish you would come home, but if this is what you need to do I can't stop you."

"Thank you, Daddy."

"I love you, Julie."

"I love you too."

"Will you promise to call me and let me know that you've settled in fine?"

"Yeah, I will. Bye."

"Goodbye, love."

With that, I hang up. I hand back the phone to my waitress and ask if I can have the pie to go. Before I leave, she hands me a slip of paper with a phone number on it, saying, "If you ever need anything."

With my pie in hand, I climb back into the car and get going again.

The beginnings of a smile playing around the edges of my lips for the first time in a long time, I start the car and pull back onto the highway. I turn on the radio and my ghost of a smile turned into a full-fledged grin when I hear the opening strains of "Respect" start to play on the radio.

Oh, what you want, baby I got it.

What you need, you know I got it.

I crank up the volume, roll the windows down, and start singing at the top of my lungs, ignoring the confused stares of other drivers.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Find out what it means to me...



Eva Ch. 06



The street is lined with stately old maple trees, with strong branches casting a fresh, green, protective glow over the street. 

Two states and four hours after leaving the diner, I pull into the administrative office's parking lot.  The temporary confidence awarded my by the kindly waitress and the classic soul marathon on the radio had vanished.  I had no idea if I could show up unannounced and hope for a dormitory room, or if I'd have to stay at a motel and search for a job right away.  200 dollars doesn't really go very far and I want to save all of the money in my bank account for tuition and housing.

I turn off the engine and pull my wallet and acceptance packet, which I did have the forethought to bring when I fled, out of my bag laying on the passenger seat.  I open the car door and lock it, then walk towards the small brick building.  I walk across the bright parking lot, squinting my eyes at the sunshine reflecting off of the cars and building windows.  

The first thing I see is a small, mousy woman sitting at the desk, clacking away diligently at the computer.  When she hears my footsteps on the linoleum, her head snaps up and I see a sweet, heart shaped face surrounded by short mouse brown hair

Her surprise soon gone, she stands at the desk, smiles and says, “May I help you?”

“Yes,” I say nervously, “I was supposed to be enrolled here in the fall but there was an emergency and I had to come up now.”

“Is everything all right?”

“I don't know,” I say.

“I'll see what I can do,” she says, “We might be able to put you up with one of the off-campus students until the fall.  Is it so very important that you stay here so soon?”

With my eyes beginning to sting once again, I say, “I have nowhere else to go.”

Concern is growing on the woman's face.  I have never been good at hiding my emotions, it is one of my weaknesses.

“Do you have any family, friends, that you could stay with?”

“None, ma’am,” I say, my face now burning.  When will the roller coaster of emotions stop?

The woman spins around abruptly in her chair and begins rummaging around in a desk drawer.  Before long, she pulls out a thin stack of papers.  

“We keep lists of students looking for roommates and also lists of jobs in the area, if you're interested,” she says as the pushes the sheets across the desk towards me.

“Thank you so much,” I say.   

She gives me a warm smile and says, “take the lists, I have more copies.  There are phone numbers on all of them.”

I thank her again and leave the building.  I sit in my car for a half an hour, looking through the lists.  All of the names on the housing list had a phone number and a short description of what they were looking for.  The list of jobs was basically then same.  I circled some of the people I could conceivably live with and some waitressing jobs.  I'd waitressed in high school, something I thought could work to my advantage.

I folded up the lists and put them in my bag, immediately starting the car and heading towards what looked like the main street of town.  It had been almost a year since I looked at this school with my parents, so, while it was vaguely familiar, I still felt lost and foreign in the small college town.

There were droves of tan, smiling girls with their boyfriends.  I felt, probably imagined, there eyes on my as I rambled slowly in my beat up Volvo, face drawn, exhausted, pale, too thin.  I quickly pull into a parking lot next to a deli with the sign “Payphone Inside” in the window.  

Purse in hand, I stalk into the deli.  Lately, it seems that I never simply walk, either stalk or slink or scurry or curl up in a corner and hope no one notices me while I do my business.  The payphone is directly inside the deli, which is very busy.  I pull out the list of potential roommates and push a few quarters into the slot, starting with the first name on the list, Winifred E. Payne.  Her description of her apartment says “two bedroom, one bathroom, small but well-lit, looking for a female roommate, must be quiet and reliable.”  

As the phone rang, I start imagining what kind of girl she could be.  I had always loved people, as introverted as I could be at times, I just loved meeting people, getting to know them, and just being around another person.

“Hello?”

Her voice is faint and crackly over the old payphone but I am immediately charmed by its melody.

“Um, hello,” I say, “er, my name's Julie Cass and the woman at the administrative office said you're looking for a roommate?”

“Oh, yeah,” she says, “I'm Winnie.  Are you going to be a freshman this year or what?”

“Yeah, a freshman.”

“Well, I'm a sophomore so I guess I know the town better than you.  Wanna come down and look at the place?”

“Sure,” I say.  My mom always said to never go in the house of a stranger but Winnie doesn't sound like a serial killer.  On the contrary, she sounds rather nice.  

“Here's the address,” she says, “one oh five Pershing...”

“Wait wait wait! I need a pen,” I say, smiling a little.  I grab the greasy pen from next to the phone book and begin writing on the back of the list.

“Okay,” I say, “ready.”

“One oh five Pershing Avenue, apartment four.”

“Thanks!  When do you want me to come over?” I ask.

“Anytime.  I have class at five though.”

I look down at my watch, three 'o clock.

“I can be there soon.  I'm at the deli on Main Street, how do I get to your place from here?”

She gives me quick instructions and I thank her and hang up.  I walk out of the deli and back into my car.  After looking both ways like a good girl, I start driving.

Only getting lost once, I manage to pull into the driveway of a large, white house.   I park next to a large red pickup truck and a worn-down blue van.  I get out of the car and when I walk up the stairs to the front porch I see a small glass case housing the directory next to the door.

W. E. Payne, Appt 5

The door opens for me onto a small hallway with three doors and a stairwell.  I make my way up the stairwell.  The building is slient.  Right up the stairs I see apartment 5 on my left. I can hear faint music coming from inside, too faint to know what it is. Since there is no doorbell, I knock, quietly at first, then louder when no one answers.

I am not kept waiting long.  Soon, the door swings open and I am greeted by a pair of smiling gray eyes.