1 comments/ 55327 views/ 4 favorites Bimbette's Valentine Fashion Show By: Bimbette's Valentine Fashion Show So she led them into the fitting room in the back of the store. At one end was a small, low platform, surrounded on three sides by mirrors. And at the far end were three changing rooms, the kind with slatted doors so you can talk with the person inside. Between the platform and the changing rooms, she had lined up eight chairs, four along each wall, facing inward, with a walkway between them. It was a little cramped, but it would have to do. She had the outfits all laid out in the changing rooms. Her plan was to start slow and work up to the real slutty stuff at the end. But, of course, those are relative concepts and "slow" for Bimbette is super-tramp for most girls. "Find a seat," she instructed the eager men, then disappeared into one of the changing rooms. "This first outfit consists of bright lavender pedal-pushers," she informed them as she changed, "And a matching halter top with short, puffy sleeves and a plunging neckline. The platform sole, seven-inch stiletto heels match, too, of course. Just right for a romantic Valentine's Day afternoon stroll down by the river." She quickly pulled her hair up into two pony tails, one on each side, high on her head so they looked like blonde fountains, spraying her hair in all directions, then added a three-strand pearl choker, big dangly earrings and a few bangle bracelets. "These are all on Valentine's Day special. Total retail price is only $107.59, and that's where we'll start the bidding," she announced as she emerged. She put a hand on her hip and stuck a pose in front of the door for a few seconds. The pants fit her so perfectly and so tightly, it looked as if they had been spray-painted on. Her big breasts seemed about to spill out of the skimpy, midriff-baring top. The men whistled and made appreciative comments. "Wow, Dakota would great in those pants. Not as good as that, but pretty damn hot," said Tom. "So would Missy," added the man next to him, who was wearing a T-shirt which showed off his oversized biceps. She wondered vaguely if that was the one who had introduced himself as Shawn. Bimbette strutted quickly to the other end of the room with the runway cross-over stride of a fashion model. Her perfect ass swing back and forth, wonderfully displayed by the tight pants. She mounted the little platform, turned 180 degrees, posed again, then tuned her back to the men, put her hands on her knees and stuck her ass out into the room, while the mirrors afforded a good view of her cleavage. She turned again, sashayed back to where she started and then back to the platform again. The effect on the men was so overwhelming that three of them almost slid out of their chairs. Several others were fiddling with their pants, as if their underwear no longer fit right. And, of course, seeing the boys so excited only further provoked Bimbette's passions, too. "So, gentleman, what am I offered? Pants, top and shoes. The jewelry is not included, but may, of course, be purchased separately. Tom started the bidding at $120.00, but Shy Dick offered $130.00. "What kind of 'special thank-you'?" Harry repeated. He still didn't get an answer, but raised the bidding to $140.00 anyway. The other men got involved and the price went up steeply. Harry eventually bought the outfit for $195. "What kind of 'special thank-you'?" he asked again. "This kind," purred Bimbette and slowly walked over to him. By now, she was so aroused that her stiff clit bulged noticeably under the skin-tight pants. She stood facing him and straddling his lap. Languorously, she leaned over until her lips just met and gently brushed against his. Meanwhile, she slid her arms around his neck and gradually lowered her hips until her clit made delicate contact with the hard protuberance in his pants. "You're Robert, right, Sweetheart?" she asked. "There is no Robert. I'm Harry," he said quietly. She began to kiss him tenderly as her clit lightly and deliberately glided the length of his throbbing cock. She moaned pathetically. "You know, Harry," she whispered in his ear, "That little stub between my legs is so rigid and so sensitive, I could cum just like this." And she brushed her crotch softly against his again, and exhaled another sigh of pleasure. "Yeah, but you're not gonna," he replied. Grabbing her ass roughly and pulling her tight against him, he began kissing her wildly, thrusting his tongue deep into her mouth, and grinding his cock hard against her clit. Bimbette reciprocated instantly, and they exploded into a frenzy of lashing tongues, grasping hands and pistoning hips. In a matter of seconds they were grunting and groaning in the throes of an intense simultaneous orgasm. The other men watched in lustful amazement. Some of them stroked themselves discretely. "Oh god, what took you long?" Bimbette panted when they were finally finished. "I didn't think I was going to be able to wait for you." "What's up next?" asked Tom impatiently. Bimbette stood up and noticed that the crotch of her slacks was soaked. "I may have to buy these myself," she said. "I'm not sure your girl would want this pair. We'll find her a fresh one. Too bad we don't have anything that would fit you," she remarked, looking at the large wet spot on Harry's pants. "It won't be the first time he spends an evening looking like that," commented Magic Dick. Then, addressing Harry, "Remember that time Jason spilled Alpo in your lap and his dog…" "Shut up," Harry interrupted crossly. "What's up next?" Tom asked again. Bimbette went into one of the changing rooms. "The next outfit is a classic 'little black cocktail dress'. Every girl needs five or six of them. It would be just the thing for taking her out to a fancy French restaurant for dinner. It has spaghetti straps and a low back, so it comes with a faux mink stole and cute little black lace gloves. I'm assuming your girls have black heels. I have 24 pairs myself. Anyway, I haven't included the shoes this time." She let her hair down, substituted a pearl necklace for the choker and decided she could keep the same earrings. "The price is $125.27," she said. Tom started the bidding at $150.00 before she even opened the changing room door. Then, when she did appear, and posed elegantly for the men's inspection, the bidding became fast and furious. The dress was about as short as a girl could wear in public without risking arrest. It fit her as tightly as the pants had, showing off every lovely curve of her flawless body. The little triangles which formed the top barely covered her nipples. She strolled down the space between the men, showed off on the platform and walked around some more as the price went up quickly. The men shifted uncomfortably in their seats. Some tried to reach out and stroke her thighs or pat her ass as she paraded back and forth. Eventually, Tom bought the dress for $225.00. He opened his arms and looked at Bimbette expectantly, but remained seated, expecting the same lap dance that Harry had received. She stood by the platform and beckoned him with a crooked finger. "Come over here, Honeybunch," she said sweetly. "You're Jason, right?" 'Tom," he answered, stopping in front of her. She locked eyes with him, grabbed his waist with both hands and, in sensuous slow motion, lowered herself to her knees. He groaned in anticipation of what was coming. "Are you thinking about my lips on your cock?" she asked as she began her descent. "Imagine me smearing my bright pink lipstick up and down its length," she suggested halfway down. He groaned even louder. "Imagine me swallowing it whole," she offered as her knees touched the floor. "Imagine spurting your load into my mouth while I vacuum every last drop right out of your balls." He reached out to hold the sides of her head, but she grabbed his wrists, pinned them to his hips and began nibbling on his erection right through his pants, being careful not to leave streaks of lipstick on them. He wobbled in weak-kneed pleasure. "Go slow, Sweetcakes," she murmured. "Don't want you to mess your pants up like Robert." "The name's Harry," said Harry with quiet annoyance. Bimbette took the pull-tab of Tom's zipper between her teeth and slowly dragged it down. Several of the men applauded. "Oh, god, what a slut!" moaned Justin. "Thank you," mumbled Bimbette proudly. She pulled out Tom's big, rock-hard boner and began doing all the things she had told him to imagine. She was, of course, aroused again herself, and slipped her hand into her damp panties to finger her clit and pussy. Some of the men got out of their seats to get a better look. Shawn knelt down beside her and began to kneed one of her ripe breasts and nuzzle the back of her neck. On the other side, Jason squatted and grabbed the other breast and stuck his tongue in her ear. Tom was too excited to last long. In under a minute he was pouring his love into her mouth as she sucked and swallowed as fast as she could. The pulsing jets of sperm triggered her own orgasm and she opened her mouth a little let out a howl of rapture. Sticky strings of semen drooled out, dangled from her chin and dripped to the floor. But even in the heat of her climax, she was careful not to get any on the dress. "Take it easy boys," she cautioned Shawn and Jason with mock solemnity when she was done. "Rewards are for the high bidders. You'll get your turn when you buy something. Hope you brought plenty of money." To herself, she wondered how long she could be in a roomful of increasingly horny men and take them on one at a time. If she didn't lose control of them, sooner or later, she was bound to lose control of herself. As she stood up to head for the changing room, Shy Dick pulled out his handkerchief and gently wiped Tom's cum off her face. "How considerate!" she observed gratefully. And then, giving Tom a look of mild reproof, "A true gentleman always wipes his cum off a lady's face." She disappeared into the changing room and began to describe the next outfit. "Now we have a red chiffon salsa dress, designed specifically for Valentine's Day, with a low neckline, matching pumps with five-inch heels and a little evening bag. Perfect for taking your girl out dancing tomorrow night. You'll be starting the bidding at $149.99." She quickly piled her hair up on top of her head in a fancy, formal hairdo, pinned it in place with a couple of jeweled barrettes and added a delicate gold necklace and some large gold hoop earrings. She opened the door and stepped out as the men responded with gasps and low whistles. The dress was made of a gossamer, cerise fabric that hovered around her like a passionate vapor. It was sprinkled all over with small, pink hearts of a more substantial cloth, one located strategically over each nipple. The top was strapless, wonderfully displaying Bimbette's gorgeous cleavage. The skirt was multi-tiered, almost knee length in the back, but considerably shorter in front. The material was so diaphanous that the men could see her panties right through the dress. And her panties were so sheer, they could see her pubic tattoo, erect clit and pouting pussy right through them. She preened and posed and flounced back and forth, allowing the skirt to swing and float while the bidding started even faster and more furious than for the cocktail dress. As she pranced, her tight ass, her smooth, lean thighs, every delicious curve of her trim body was visible under the nearly transparent dress. Shawn couldn't restrain himself any more. As Shy Dick bid $245.00, Shawn stood and grabbed Bimbette by the waist, pulling her to him and kissing her hotly. Sam jumped up behind her, slid his hands around to grab both breasts and began rubbing his crotch against her ass. Bimbette struggled half-heartedly against the two men, but reflexively spread her legs and rubbed her clit against Shawn's leg as the bidding proceeded. Some of the other men protested. "The rest of us are bidding for her. What makes to think you don't have to?" asked one of them. Shawn and Sam ignored them. Shawn now had his thick fingers in her drenched panties. Sam was running his hands all over her and panting so hard, she thought he might be about to cum. "Hey, Shawn, Sam, you assholes. Let go of her," said one of the bidders angrily. Bimbette, of course, found everything about the situation arousing. The men were no longer bidding for the clothes she modeled. They were bidding for the right to fuck her. And two of them were so hot for her, they couldn't even be bothered to bid. And she was in one of her favorite locations: crushed between two big, strong studs. Tom, Justin and Harry stood up and pulled Shawn and Sam off of her as Magic Dick bought the dress for $305.00. "Sorry boys," she said to Shawn and Sam, straightening the dress. "To the victor go the spoils." Through this whole scene, Magic Dick had remained placidly in his seat. Although her sex-fires were now raging, Bimbette also managed to maintain the appearance of calm. She sauntered over and sat down, straddling his lap and facing him, as she had with Harry. She put her arms around his neck and began to kiss him sweetly while she massaged his steel-stiff cock with her flimsy panties. "You know, Dollface," she said softly. I've cum three times in the last 90 minutes, but there hasn't been anything hard in my sweet, juicy cunt except a finger or two. Does that seem right? Does it seem fair? Don't you think you need to do something about it?" Without waiting for an answer, she lifted her hips and deftly reached down with one hand to undo his belt, lower his zipper and free the suffering prisoner in his pants. He pulled her panties to one side and positioned his prodigious prick between her pussy lips, moving it back and forth along the length of the slit to lubricate it and tease them both. When he had the head centered at the entrance to her tight cunt, she smiled at him and let her weight rest on his cock. "Ready, Honey? Here I come," she whispered. "Aaaaahhhhhhh," they both moaned loudly in simultaneous bliss, and closed their eyes to enjoy her long ride down. Harry and Tom stood guard to keep the other men from trying to join the fun. Bimbette and Magic Dick bucked and grunted like rutting animals, and the gauzy skirt floated and danced around Bimbette's hips like a fiery cloud while they quickly satisfied each other. As she walked slowly back to the changing room, she had a quick, affectionate smooch or a soft caress for each of the men. "You're good boys," she said. "I know you're eager, and that's so sweet and flattering. And I'm eager, too. But we're doing this for the sake of your girlfriends, and we have to control ourselves to make sure they all get what they deserve. "Now, let's see," she continued. "Tom, Dick and Harry have bought something for their girls. You other five had better get bidding." She started describing the next outfit as she closed the changing room door behind her. "Next is a hot pink cropped t-shirt with baby blue piping and lettering, and a miniscule pair of hot pants, with the color scheme reversed, and pink, thigh-high, platform sole boots. The bidding will start at $95.79." She let her hair down, put on a pink ribbon choker, some wide, pink, plastic hoop earrings, and a few chunky, blue bracelets and stepped out. The tight, pink t-shirt was so short, the men could see the bottoms of her areolae. Across the front, in baby blue block letters, it said, "TOTAL SLUT". The hot pants were closer to a bikini bottom than to shorts and across the seat, in pink block letters, were the words, "FUCK THIS". Shawn growled, "You better know I will," and preemptively bid $250.00. His strategy didn't work, and he, Sam and Shy Dick got into a fast paced, three-way bidding war. Meanwhile, Bimbette was strutting up and down while half of the men grabbed at her and the other half tried to prevent them. Before long, Shawn had bid $315.00 and the other two men conceded. Shawn jumped up, grabbed Bimbette around the waist from behind and roughly pulled her back to his seat. He unfastened his pants, let them drop to his ankles and sat down, legs together, his large prong swaying back and forth like the proud mast of a sailing ship at sea. She was standing, straddling his thighs, her back still to him. She quickly stepped out of her shorts with one leg, leaving them dangling from the other thigh, and grasped his cock to position the head against her hungry sphincter. "This what you had in mind, Baby?" she asked. In answer, Shawn seized her by the hips with both hands and pulled her down forcefully while thrusting up as hard as he could. Bimbette screamed in pleasure. Suddenly impaled on Shawn's prick, she looked like a beautiful, exotic butterfly pinned to a museum display, except that she was twisting and writhing in sensual delight. The other men gathered around to watch, and she spread her legs so that they could see her empty cunt with its swollen lips, gaping open like a tiny, ravenous mouth. They also got their first good look at her pubic tattoo, a bright fireworks show bursting from just above her clit to rise up over the now-shaved area where her pubic hair had once been and explode into a multicolored display of firey flowers and pom poms. Shawn reached for her clit with one hand and slid the other under her top and pushed it up over her breasts, allowing him to caress and tease her rigid nipples. Slowly, she lifted her hips until only the tip of Shawn's prick remained in her little, puckered ass hole. Then she slowly lowered herself again, her large eyes half-lidded in pleasure as she made fuck me eye contact with each of the other men. The big cock slid all the way back into her until Shawn's balls were pressed hard against her ass cheeks. In the back of her mind, she prayed for one of the losing bidders to step forward and feed her starving pussy, while on a conscious level she forced herself to remember that none of them were allowed to fuck her until he had bought something for his valentine. She began to pump up and down at a gradually accelerating rate, exposing, then burying, the full length of Shawn's hard-on each time. The hot pants flapped from her thigh like a flag in the breeze. Every time Shawn filled her ass, her little cunt would pop wide open. And when he was almost out, it would wink shut. Open. Shut. Open. Shut. Like a small, sweet fish out of water. The motion of her hips made her tattoo appear to be flashing and sparkling like real fireworks She dug the spike heels of her slut boots into the carpeted floor and leaned back and slightly to one side to give the guys a better look at her pussy. At the bottom of the next stroke, she paused, Shawn's stiff meat as far up her ass as it would go, and squirmed and jerked with approaching orgasm. Suddenly, Shy Dick could watch no more. He jumped to his feet, rushed over to stand between Bimbette's legs and pulled out his huge, stone-hard cock. To Bimbette, in her emotional state, it looked as long and as thick as his forearm. Sam was right behind him, clumsily wrestling with his own belt buckle and zipper. The other men were too entranced by the erotic vision before them to intervene. Shy Dick pressed the head of his prick against her pussy. He was so feverish that he had temporarily lost his stutter. "Please let me stick it in, puhleeeeeze," he whined. She thought, Oh god, yes. Do it. Don't ask! Just do it. DO IT! But she shook her head, No. She couldn't force herself to actually say it, though. "Please," he whimpered. "I'll do anything you ask." She saw that Sam had his prick out and was staring at her and stroking it. She also noticed that several of the men were actually drooling and that a few more were now unzipping and reaching into their pants. Bimbette's Valentine Fashion Show I should have known I'd never be able to limit myself to one at a time, she thought as the last shreds of her self-restraint dissolved. She studied Shy Dick's wild expression, then closed her eyes and hissed, "Oh, ssssshit.... yessssss." Shy Dick instantly thrust himself in to the hilt, and both he and Bimbette nearly passed out with immediate ecstasy. "But…you....can't cum... Only high....bidder cums," she gasped in a last-ditch effort to ensure that each of the men went away with a purchase for his sweetie. Over Shy Dick's shoulder, she could see Sam, and behind him, Jason and Justin were now crowding in, erections in hand. She was wedged tightly between Shawn and Shy Dick as they traded strokes, stuffing first her cunt, then her ass, then her cunt again. "How about me? When do I get a turn?" Sam grumbled. "If they get to stick it in, so do I," announced Jason. "And me," demanded Justin. Nothing made Bimbette hotter than knowing how crazy she was driving a man, except knowing how crazy she was driving a whole roomful of men. So she grabbed Shy Dick by the back of his neck and pulled his mouth down to hers. He braced himself with a hand on the wall behind Shawn's chair. She held his face with both hands and kissed him deeply, then whispered in his ear, "I'm gonna have a little cum now, but remember, Honeybunch, you can't do that yet." She closed her eyes tightly and shook and moaned for six or seven seconds as she allowed herself the first in a series of mini-orgasms. When it was over, she hugged Shy Dick and kissed him again and purred, "Thanks, Lover. You're the best. But don't you think it's only fair to give your friends turns, too? Maybe you should take a little break. But come back soon, Sugar." Shy Dick stared at her, baffled, for a second, but Sam knew exactly what she meant. He grabbed Shy Dick by the shoulders and said, "C'mon, Shy Dick. Time to be a goodbye Dick" "Damn," spat Shy Dick, pulled out abruptly and walked away in frustration. Sam quickly took his place and immediately pushed his steely erection into her sopping love tunnel. He sighed blissfully and began to alternate insertions with Shawn. After about ten seconds Bimbette again spasmed with a small climax and then it was Jason's turn. "Jeez, that was quick," complained Sam. "You shouldn't bitch. All I got was a friggin' lap dance," groused Harry, although he stayed in his chair and seemed to be enjoying the show. "You seemed happy enough about it at the time," observed Magic Dick dryly. After Jason, it was Justin, then Shy Dick again. The boys argued over who should go next, insulted each other, and pushed and shoved a bit, but Bimbette kept them in order, frequently reminding them not to cum while enjoying innumerable minor orgasms herself. After Shy Dick's second turn, it was Sam, then Jason, then Justin, then Shy Dick, then Sam, then Jason, then Justin. Each time Bimbette had a mini-climax, but it was getting harder and harder to hold off the big one. By the time Shy Dick's fourth shift came around, she knew she could hold out no longer. She turned around far enough to plant a big kiss on Shawn and said, "You've been amazing. But it's time to enjoy your reward." She kissed him again, then turned to Shy Dick, grabbed his cock and pulled it into her pussy. She smooched him and cooed, "Big one coming now, Boyfriend." Shawn and Shy Dick began fucking her hard and fast, shoving their big pricks into her in simultaneous strokes, rather than alternating. Within 20 seconds, she was shrieking her euphoria and both men were pumping enormous slugs of steaming sperm deep inside of her. When they were done and Bimbette could finally speak again, she pouted at Shy Dick and said, "You're a bad boy. You promised you'd do anything I asked. And I told you not to cum, but you did." Shy Dick seemed sincerely repentant and his stutter returned. "I'm s-sorry. I c-couldn't help it. I'll s-still buy something for my g-girl. I p-promise." "I know, Darlin'. It's not really fair for me to have so much fun and tell a sweet boy like you to wait," she said softly and pecked him on the cheek. From there, the rules went pretty much straight to hell. The stroking, caressing and fondling, the clutching, grappling and grabbing, the kissing, nibbling and licking all started as soon as she came out of the changing room in a new outfit. She was gangfucked every time, fucked in every possible position and fucked by every possible combination of men. But Bimbette still somehow managed to ensure that each of the guys bought something for his valentine and made a substantial contribution to the pool. Sam bought a slutty schoolgirl outfit with a miniscule pleated, plaid skirt, knee socks and platform spike heels. It came with a necklace in the shape of a man's tie, which spelled out the words "LUV COCK" vertically in beads that were supposed to look like pearls, but didn't. He paid $225.00 (retail price $73.47), then fucked her cunt while Magic Dick and Harry took turns in her ass and Jason and Justin in her mouth. Sam, Harry and Jason all came, and Jason had to promise to buy something later. Next, Shy Dick, who was hard again already, bought a Valentine's Day babydoll, decorated with pink and red hearts, for $165.00 (retail price $55.99) and got a blow job while Tom worked her pussy over and Justin stuck it up her ass. Then Bimbette brought out a very sexy pink skirt and sweater set with thigh-high pink fishnet stockings and matching stiletto pumps. The skirt was so short that there was a gap of several inches between the hem and the top of the holdup stockings. The tight, short sweater buttoned up the front, and Bimbette wore it with just one button fastened at about nipple level. It didn't stay fastened long. The retail price of the outfit was $119.89, but the other men knew Justin, who hadn't bought anything yet and still hadn't come, was so desperate that he would pay any amount, and they bid him up unmercifully. "What the fuck are you assholes doing bidding?" he asked angrily. "Everyone but me and Jason has already bought something." "I really like that outfit. I think it would be so sexy on Julie," answered Harry calmly. "Or Roxy," added Shawn. "And, if we need another outfit, it would be easy enough for me to put one together," offered Bimbette. Justin wound up paying $395.00, and was so pissed that he tried to keep Bimbette to himself. But it was way too late for that. As soon as she took Justin into her mouth, Jason crammed into her cunt. Justin tried to shove him away, but Bimbette let him slide out of her mouth, looked up at him and said, "You know, Jake, It's probably not a good idea to deprive a girl of her pleasure when your cock is in such a vulnerable position. It just might get bitten right off." Justin recoiled and said, "Justin… My name is Justin." "I know what your name is," she answered coldly, "But I'm going to call you 'Jake',… unless, of course, you'd prefer 'Jerry' or 'Jack'…. or 'Stubby'." Justin held his hands up in a gesture of surrender and said he'd be happy enough with 'Jake', then decided he'd developed a sudden, strong preference for her cunt. Jason agreed to switch to her ass, Tom and Harry took over her mouth and Shawn, being very fond of her ass hole, took turns with Jason. The last item was a crotchless and open-breasted, black leather teddie. There were wide gaps down the front and back bridged by leather straps with buckles. It came with matching, buckle-studded spike-heeled boots and black leather opera gloves with buckles along the top edge and at the wrist. The retail value of the outfit was $175.77. Jason was the only one who hadn't bought an item yet, but the others didn't let him off cheap. Several of the men bid on it and Jason wound up paying $295.00. What ensued next was a virtual free-for-all. Most of the men figured this would be their last chance at Bimbette, so they weren't about to sit on the sidelines and watch. They mobbed her the second she came out of the changing room and were fucking her while the bidding was still going on. At one point she had two cocks in her pussy. At another, two in her ass. All eight men wound up cumming. Bimbette, who liked to keep track of how many times she came so she could double the number and brag about it later, lost count fairly quickly. It was a whole night's orgy in 15 minutes. When Bimbette's after-hours fashion show was over, it was almost 1:00 a.m. It was Valentine's Day. Bimbette asked sizes and quickly and expertly gift-wrapped the gifts the men had bought. Then they divided up the pool. The total amount by which the bidding for the eight outfits had exceeded their retail prices was $1216.24. Bimbette's commission would have been $90.37, so the total pool was $1,306.61. They split it eight ways, and each of the men agreed to spend at least $163.32 taking his girlfriend out. Bimbette hugged the boys as they left, wished them and their sweethearts a great Valentine's Day and then turned to the task of straightening up, first herself, then the shop's back room. It was 2:00 when she left. She checked the parking lot to make sure that none of the guys were hanging around, hoping to follow her home. She maintained a strict policy of not giving out her address or home phone number. And she was always very careful not to be followed home. The last thing she needed was some amorous, romantic, jealous asshole standing under her window with a hard-on, singing love songs or reciting bad poetry. She was on duty the next day, a half shift from 4:00 until closing at 8:00. The store was busy with a depressing parade of love-struck young men, each looking for just the right gift to ensure a perfect Valentine's Day for the love of his life. It made Bimbette feel like puking, then jumping off a bridge. She spent a fair amount of time fantasizing about slipping small explosive devices into some of the packages she gift-wrapped for her starry-eyed male customers - nothing dangerous of course, just enough of a blast to scare the shit out of a few overweight, pampered, complacent girlfriends and totally wreak a few budding romances. I got you a little valentine gift, Lovebunny. Oh, you remembered! And what a beautiful wrapping job! Did you do it yourself? Of course, Honeylips. You really are the ideal man, Darling *KA-BANG* You think that's funny, you stupid shithead? I'll show you funny! *SMACK* When she got bored with that, she thought a little about what to do after work. But she was too morose to get even slightly excited about her usual Saturday night activity: going out to a bar and picking up a few guys. She thought maybe she'd pick up a quart of tequila instead and simply go home and get lonely, sloppy, amnesiac drunk. Just as it was finally time to close and she was heading for the front door with the "closed sign", Magic Dick walked in. He was carrying the wrapped and decorated box containing the cerise salsa dress he had bought the previous night. "She didn't like it? Or what? Wrong size? You broke up already?" Bimbette asked, thinking that he was there to return it. "No, actually, I haven't given it to her yet," he answered, quietly. "Why not?" asked Bimbette, cautiously. "Because I don't have a girl friend," he said, his eyes on the floor. "You see, I'm way too self-centered, too selfish, too....too..." "Superficial?" suggested Bimbette. "Yes, exactly, thank you," he went on quickly, now looking at her intently. "Way too superficial for any normal girl to put up with me for long. Plus, with so many gorgeous women out there needing to be loved, why should I limit myself to only one, or even two, or three? I spend my whole day thinking about sticking my cock into every halfway attractive female I see. What sensible girl would want me as her valentine?" "I see your point. So you want me to be your valentine, because I'm not...'normal' and not 'sensible'?" she asked, trying to sound sarcastic, but feeling secretly excited. "No, well, yes. Of course you're not normal. You're way better than normal. But I want you to be my valentine because you are sensible. You know that we're sort of the same. We can enjoy each other without feeling like we're going to get tied down." Bimbette smiled. "How long has it been, exactly, since you've had a valentine?" she asked. "No, wait," she said. "Let me guess. Grade school?" But before he could answer, the shop door opened tentatively and Shy Dick peered in. "I was af-f-fraid you might have closed already," he stammered. One hand was held behind his back and he was obviously hiding something. "What the fuck are you doing here?" demanded Magic Dick loudly. "I m-m-might ask you the same, you conceited p-p-prick" replied Shy Dick defiantly. "Now, now, boys," said Bimbette soothingly, "Lets stay calm and let Shy Dick to tell us why he's here." "I j-just thought you might need a v-v-valentine. So I came here to v-v-volunteer," Shy Dick said. "But I told you guys," said Bimbette with exaggerated patience. "I don't care about Valentine's Day. And I'm too busy for it anyway. Didn't you hear me?" "Yeah. I just didn't b-b-believe you," answered Shy Dick. From behind his back he produced the gift-wrapped teddie and a lovely bouquet of pink roses. "Oh, you're so sweet," said Bimbette. "But what about your girlfriend?" "What g-girlfriend?" he replied. "I'm too…" He hesitated. "Shy?" suggested Bimbette. "Queer?" offered Magic Dick. "…Reserved," continued Shy Dick, staring icily at Magic Dick. "T-too reserved to ask any of my female acquaintances to be my g-girlfriend. So I was hoping that you would be my g-girl, at least for today." "Not too reserved to ask me, though," observed Bimbette. "Well, I've already had my p-p-p-prick in all your significant orifices," he replied dryly. "So…." "Okay, okay, I get it," said Bimbette, pursing her lips and taking the gift and the flowers. "B-but before you agree to be my v-valentine, I wanted to t-tell you…one thing," he said hesitantly. "Yes?" answered Bimbette with a slight scowl. "I invited…well, s-suggested…that a f-f-f-riend….d-drop by….you see, he doesn't have a g-girl friend either…and I thought that you m-m-m-m-ight…umm…I told him that…it's just that g-g-g-girls don't… and he's n-n-n-never…" His stuttering was only getting worse and Bimbette was beginning to suspect what he was trying to say. "Do you mean that you invited one of your friends, who girls can't stand for some reason, to come over here and ask me to be his valentine?" Her voice rose steadily as she continued. "You..you invited him…without asking me? What made you think I'd ever say 'yes'? You must either think I'm really, really desperate to be someone's valentine, or that I'm really fond of stray dogs." "Takes one to know one," said Magic Dick quietly. "Bimbette turned her anger on him. "It takes one to know one what? Someone who's desperate to be someone's valentine? Or a stray dog?" she demanded. "Take your pick," he grinned. "I d-did tell him I had to ask you," interjected Shy Dick. "He's on his way, but if you d-don't want him to come, we can call him on his cell phone." "Well, what the fuck's his name?" she asked calming down slightly. "And what's the matter with him? Why can't he find his own girlfriend?" "Richard…R-richard Lupercalia," answered Shy Dick. "And the only problem is that he's not very good-looking, so girls don't like him much." "Lupercalia? That's a weird name," commented Bimbette. "D-do a little research," replied Shy Dick. "T-there's a special reason that I in-v-vited him." "Okay, okay," she said, "But,... wait a minute, not another Dick. Don't tell me he's a Dick, too." "We call him 'Ugly Dick'," said Magic Dick. "As in 'butt-ugly Dick'." "B-but," began Shy Dick. "We also call him 'Nucular Dick'," Magic Dick broke in, "Because of the size of his, you know, his warhead, you might say." "Really?" said Bimbette, by now, no longer angry at all. "It's so shallow to judge a person on his or her looks, don't you think? But why "Nucular Dick'? Don't you mean 'Nuclear Dick'?" "No, he's a R-r-republican," explained Shy Dick. "Well, I guess I won't hold that against him," she said. "So what are we talking here? Tactical nuke? Or…" "Thermonuclear ICBM, is more like it," interrupted Magic Dick. "From what I've heard, anyway," he added quickly. "With MIRV cap-p-pability," comented Shy Dick. "I think I might have just the silo to house that missile," she said, almost to herself. They were still standing by the door, and just then, there was a soft knocking. Bimbette opened the door and in walked Nucular Dick. He was, in fact, pretty ugly. He had very little chin and his nose was so big it looked like one of those false, plastic joke noses. He held out his hand. "I'm Dick Lupercalia," he said. In his other hand he held a heart-shaped box of chocolates. "Three Dicks - no waiting," said Magic Dick. "What a coincidence," said Bimbette, taking his hand and holding it, "Three holes - no waiting." "You're everything Shy Dick said you'd be," Nucular Dick said admiringly. "You're completely and totally gorgeous. The sexiest woman I've ever seen." Bimbette squeezed his hand a little tighter. "You're pretty good-looking yourself," she said, glancing down at the large and quickly growing lump in his pants. "And getting more handsome by the second." "What, with that big nose!" protested Magic Dick. Nucular Dick looked into Bimbette's eyes as he answered Magic Dick. "Big? Is that all?" he asked. "What do you mean?" replied Magic Dick. "You might have said at least a hundred things," Nucular Dick answered without taking his eyes off of Bimbette. "Like this: 'Tis a rock!...a peak!...a cape! - A cape, forsooth! 'Tis a peninsular!'." "Forsooth?" scowled Magic Dick. "It's not that big," said Shy Dick. "I think he's quoting from a play or something," said Bimbette. "Cyrano de Bergerac," Nucular Dick replied. "Right, right," said Bimbette. "Wasn't he the one who said that you can tell the size of a man's penis by his nose? 'Big nose - huge hose' was the way he put it, wasn't it?" "That's not true," protested Magic Dick "I don't think Cyrano ever said exactly that," grinned Nucular Dick. "Well, somebody did," she smiled, still holding his hand. "That's not for me, is it?" Bimbette asked, nodding toward the heart-shaped box. "Yes, I thought I should bring you something you'd like," he answered. "Well, you sure did that, Lover. And the candy was a good idea, too. You're such a darling," Bimbette cooed, finally letting go of his hand to accept the chocolates. "No one has ever given me anything in a heart-shaped box before." "So, you g-gonna be our valentine?" asked Shy Dick. Bimbette turned to him. "You may be shy, Dick, but you're no coward," she said. Then turning back to Nucular Dick, she said, "You, Dick, may not be Tom Cruise. But to me, you're the best-looking guy in town." "Now, wait a minute,…" began Magic Dick. "And you, Dick," she cut him off, "You're no wizard, but you're…, well, you're… you're… In fact, you're impossible…But you're sort of funny, and sweet…in a twisted kind of way" Then looking from one to the other, she announced, "Of course I'll be your valentine, …and yours, …and yours. This means a lot to me, boys." "And to me," said Shy Dick. Bimbette's Valentine Fashion Show "Me too," agreed Nucular Dick. "Not to me," said Magic Dick. "I just needed another chance to stick it into you." "Maybe," answered Bimbette. "But first, you guys have $326.64 to spend on your new valentine." "I'll kick in, too," offered Nucular Dick. "Just give me a second to change," she said grabbing the box that Magic Dick had brought her. "We'll save the teddie for later," she grinned coyly at Shy Dick. She disappeared for a minute and came back wearing the cerise salsa dress with underwear that was slightly more opaque than what she had worn when she modeled it the night before. "So, what do you think?" asked Bimbette, tuning a little circle to three appreciative whistles. "A little diner at that new, and very expensive, French restaurant? With a couple of bottles of their best wine, of course. Then a show and some dancing at La Bomba?" "Then what?" asked Magic Dick. "Well, let's just see what develops," she answered with a familiar wink. She linked arms with Shy Dick on one side and Nucular Dick on the other. "Don't worry about me," said Magic Dick sarcastically, and then began to sing in a surprisingly good tenor: "You can dance - every dance with the guy Who gives you the eye, let him hold you tight." Then Shy Dick took over in an even better voice: "You can smile - every smile for the man Who held your hand neath the pale moon light." And Nucular Dick took a turn in a warm baritone: "But don't forget who's takin' you home And in whose arms you're gonna be." Then Bimbette added her somewhat off-key alto and they all sang the last line in respectable four-part harmony: "So darlin' save the last dance for me."