4 comments/ 4069 views/ 2 favorites We Loved the Silent Sun Ch. 01 By: M8300 Hi all! I would like to thank you for reading the first story in a series. This is my first story, so please don't grade me too harshly! Please leave comments on things that I can improve! Thank you so much guys! ***** Chapter One: The Silent Sun The train was late, and now I am tired of just about everything. My professors, my dorm mate and most of all: homework. I fucking hated that crap. Fortunately, it is summer and I am so ready to take a load off. College was really killing me and I was glad to be over with it, if only for the summer. The train ride from Boston was relaxing and I didn't talk to anyone. Next to me was this old dude with graying hair. He had those ancient looking round glasses, which you would see your parents wear in home movies of you as a kid. He wasn't looking at me, but at his Ipad, which was playing a movie that had Meryl Streep in it. I had known what she looked like because my ex-girlfriend had loved The Devil Wears Prada. I suddenly thought of her. Guilt washed over me, I missed her. I stared out through the window, and watched as we left Boston behind. Green leafy trees replaced its tall, metal skyscrapers. The sky behind it was turning those warm colors that I always loved. I imagined a cowboy, with trademark wrangler jeans, grabbing his lady and riding off into the sunset. I played old western music in my head while continuing to look out through the window; it was now filled with a sea of flowing green trees. I got a coffee, even though I hated coffee. The hot steam rolled up my nose as I again looked at the dying sun out the large train windows. A million thoughts swirled in my head, as they always did. I saw my reflection as I longingly looked through the window. My sharp gray eyes stood out among my other features. My dirty blond hair was defying gravity as I had put gel in it before I left. Lastly, I saw my tanned skin. Well, I never really tanned at all and my ancestry was white, but for some reason, since puberty my skin looked naturally darker. I looked like a skinnier, shorter Cristiano Ronaldo with blond hair. I laughed quietly at the thought. My thoughts turned every which way, thinking about this, then that. I thought about love, about life, money, New York City, Hannah and lastly about Ally. I finally got bored with myself and put in my headphones. I cranked them up loud to drown out my meandering thoughts. I closed my eyes and let the music take over. * We arrived as the sun plunged beneath the golden horizon. I gathered my bags and bounced off the resting train. There were so many people, and I thoughtlessly followed a group who seemed to know their way around. I then saw the exit sign ahead, and walked a little faster towards it. I looked at the people who rushed by me, as I walked towards the stairs directly under the exit sign. There were so many different kinds of people. This one guy, he looked to be in his late 30s. He was noticeably stressed and was wearing the fanciest suit I had ever seen. He looked down at his phone every couple of seconds, as if he was waiting nervously to get a call or text that seemed way too important. Over to the right of me, I saw a young girl with a happy smirk on her face. She was eating a ketchup-filled hot dog that I guessed she got from one of those famous New York stands on the sidewalk above. No one was looking at each other and everyone seemed to be in their own little world. I was in mine too; I was always in my own little world. "Oliver!" I heard as I sprung to the top of the stairs. She smiled widely at me, jumping up and down quickly. Her long blond hair was jumping with her and you could hear her shoes hitting the floor from a mile away. She ran towards me and jumped into my arms. She was wearing really good smelling perfume and seemed to have lost a tad bit of weight. "Hi, Hannah Montana," I exclaimed as I tightly hugged her. That was my nickname for her. She called me olive oil because of my tanned skin. I don't know, I never really got why she called me that either. Nonetheless, when we were in middle school, I would come over like three times each week. Mostly because her parents were nicer than mine, but I really did love to hang out with her. We would watch Hannah Montana all the time; I guess I just started calling her that. God, did I really miss this girl. "I missed you, sooooo much," she said as she pulled away with that wild smile lingering on her face. "I've missed you too," I said in my low, croaking voice. We walked up into the still, humid air of New York City. I barely listened to her as I looked around. The air had a sort of energy that I loved. The sky was colorless but the people weren't; they were full of color, had energy and I saw many smiles. We walked and she talked mostly. She always loved to talk and I always loved to listen. That was the foundation of our relationship, and I just nodded and smiled. She even made me laugh a few times as she told me a trick. It was about how she got out of paying her taxi fare two times. She really was an amazing girl. "Have you talked to Ally recently?" I questioned, as we continued to walk through the streets of New York. She smiled while tilting her head towards me, her long blond falling over her shoulders. "Yes, Oliver. And know that girl misses you like crazy," she said as her smile faded, and her head turned away to look across the street. "You guys really need to get back together." "Hannah, get over it already. It has been a year. Were done," I answered. "It might be over for you, it's not for her." "Ughhhh," I growled and continued walking alongside her, up the street to her penthouse. "If you don't even like Ally, then you must have found another girlfriend at MIT," she suggested laughing, becoming her own playful self again, a wide smirk showing up on her face. She knows I never liked to talk about relationships. She had respected that boundary up until now, and I thought that maybe Ally had texted her and wanted info on me. They had grown up together, and maybe they had a super-secret plan to get us back together. Those two were like that; they were always so secretive, and kept things from me. I hated it. I chuckled a bit and looked down at my new shoes. "No, no there isn't," I said as I continued to stare downward. "It's over this way," she advised as she took my hips with both of her hands, and lead me through the revolving doors. I looked up to see the lobby of her building. It was so futuristic looking and the white lights were dimmed but there were colors of reds, blues, and greens everywhere. I could hear loud music pumping far away, and assumed it to be the club Hannah always talked about on our long phone conversations. We walked down the lobby to the elevators and packed in with four other people. It was quite cramped with my suitcase and stuff. It was kind of awkward and the elevator music didn't help at all. I looked over to see Hannah; she looked deep in thought about something. I wondered what it was she was thinking about. As we glided up, the other four people got out in intervals. Hannah lived at the very top because, of course, it was the penthouse. Her parents were filthy rich and bought her this because she was accepted to Columbia. She did have fantastic grades, and was always on the honor roll at our private school. Although she was a little bit more social than I was, she did not have many friends. She and I were alike in that regard. The elevator door opened and we got out. I then followed her to the door and waited as she turned the key. The door swung opened I walked in. I dropped my bags and walked over to the ceiling-to-floor windows. I looked down to see massive amounts of people and the lights below me; it looked really beautiful. I was smiling as I turned around to face Hannah. She was looking down at her phone, texting Ally I theorized. "Where's my room?" I asked eagerly as I walked over to her. "And who are you texting?" "It's over there," she answered. Ignoring the latter and turning her phone off, putting it snugly in her jean's pocket. She then grabbed some bags, and walked me over to my room. It was really nice and the bed was a mid-sized California king. I again walked over to the windows on the opposite side of the door and gazed at the people below. "Here you are, my love," she said giggling again. "Would you like anything else?" "No, I think I might go walking later," I answered. "Need to get some fresh New York air." "Okay, well... here is your key, for when you get back in." She handed me a silver key and I took it, looking it over. "Don't stay out too late picking up those slutty New York girls," she said, looking serious but amused at the same time. She had changed over the year. Yeah, she was skinnier and she seemed to be a bit more confident, but she focused much more on my relationships. I need to see what she and Ally were talking about. I smiled at her shyly, and walked over to hug her. She held me tightly and I again recognized how much I had really missed this girl. I closed my eyes and hugged her tighter. After a while of silent hugging, she turned around when she got to the door and looked at me. "Goodnight, olive oil," she said tiredly and closed the door quietly behind her. * It was a beautiful evening out and the summer air felt warm against my exposed skin. I looked up at the tall buildings around me, then back down at the emptying sidewalks. I walked up 7th Avenue and looked around Times Square. I had never been to New York and I was sure happy I came. This summer, I guess I wanted to find myself. Last summer I was always in a hurry trying to find scholarships and financial aid for college. With Ally and our break-up happening, it was crazy and I had no time to just sit and think. However, this summer was different and much more relaxed. I stood in Times Square for a while just staring at the huge billboards. There were still people walking around, even though it was late. Over 39 million people cross through here over the course of a year, I thought. Being the geek I am, I had studied up on Wikipedia before coming here. I had a list of the sights I wanted to visit, preferably by myself with the new camera I had just bought in Boston. I sat and watched the square, occasionally taking a look at passing cars or a billboard displaying something. I sat on these red bleachers, in the middle row of them. It was amazing; you could see the whole square from up here. I guess it was true that this city never sleeps. To me, people seemed consumed with themselves at this hour. "It's really amazing," a voice came from above, tearing me away from deep thought. I turned to look at him. He seemed about my age or a little bit older. It's weird; I must have been so deep in thought, that I hadn't noticed him. He was rather tall and had his legs stretched over the bleachers below him. He was also somewhat skinny, with short jet-black hair, combed over to the right with gel in it... like me. He also had this huge hoodie on, which was weird as it must have been in the high 60s or 70s. It reads PRINCETON in bold orange lettering; maybe that's where he goes to college, I thought. Lastly, I noticed his sharp blue eyes peering out over the whole square. They weren't looking at anything in particular, but just scanning the area like I was just doing. I mean, he seemed like a model and for a second I thought he was. I smiled widely at him and nodded stupidly, quickly turning back as it seemed to me I would make a complete fool of myself by talking. I heard him move, and then several large thuds came as he jumped down from his seat above me. I thought he was going to sit by me, and I felt my heart quicken and my breathing intensify. However, he continued by me and I watched him as he walked off with his hand fitted in his pockets. The feeling can rushing at me; it was like a car that wouldn't stop. Never stopping. It was coming back again, and I was afraid it wouldn't leave this time. This stranger had short black hair like Jace. Jace was just as tall and muscular as the stranger had been. Jace looked like this boy, and it haunted me. Memories came rushing back along with the feeling. How I hated memories. None of them are ever good things. I went to our first High School football game as a new freshman. That is where I first met Ally and Hannah, but it is also where I first saw Jace. He was Ally's hot brother. My breath quickened and my eyes darted around that well-built body. I freaked myself out sometimes, by the enjoyment I got from just watching him run in that football suit. I went to every football game, not to hang with Ally or Hannah, but to see him. Sometimes, I would catch him staring too; I mean they were quick stares, but he was definitely looking at me. A couple of times, he had smiled at me, and my heart would basically fly out of my chest. His smiles seemed like he enjoyed catching me looking at him, though. Those stares kept me up for most of the year; he was a senior so this was his last year, unfortunately. When I would come over to Ally's house, Jace and I would talk. He would usually make the first move, but we got along okay because he loved football and I did too. Jace loved talking to me, I could tell it! I mean he really did. He would always have this wide smile and would laugh at everything I would say. I really miss that smile. Then Prom happened. With his parents in Boston for their 25th anniversary, Jace planned a huge after-prom party for that weekend and everyone was invited. I was a little nervous about being at a party with Jace. I really didn't feel like seeing him making out with tons of girls. However, of course, he spent most of the evening with his friends. I later spotted him making out drunkenly with Rebecca, the queen skank of the cheerleaders. Although he did catch me staring a couple of times, he didn't smile or anything though. When the party ended, being the good person that I was, I stayed and helped clean up. "Hey," was all I heard behind me before I turned around. Jace was in the process of siting in a chair across the table. He seemed a bit woozy from all the drinking and I chuckled a bit. Ally had assigned me to pick up beer cans from around the house. There were literally tons of them in the kitchen area. However, it seems like I will probably just crash here tonight. My parents could care less. "Hi," I replied, standing up to look at him. "I've noticed you these past months," he mumbled as he got up from the table, stumbling over the chair. He started laughing when he did and looked back at me. "Ha, can you know, like help a bro out," he said. I walked over to him and put my right arm around him, as he put his left arm around me. He smelled of beer and weed, two things I hated. Hannah saw us as we entered the living room, headed for the stairs. She laughed, and asked if I needed help. I smiled at her and shook my head slowly. Butterflies formed in my stomach as I guided him up the stairs to his room. He looked like he was going to puke several times; I asked him if he felt like it, but he insisted we get to his room. "And there we go," I said quietly as I opened and closed the door behind us, sitting him on his bed. "Hey dude, could you like help me with these clothes," he asked as he tried unsuccessfully to pull off his shirt. I sat next to him hesitantly, clutching the shirt and pulling it over his head. It revealed his bulging muscles underneath. He looked to have an 8-pack and I almost gasped when saw them. "I think you are just gorgeous," he whispered, almost sounding sober. My heart started to race even faster than before. My breath quickened as I looked into his warm green eyes. I looked down at his chest muscles, then back up to his face, biting my lip. He grabbed my neck with his right arm, massaging my cheek with his thumb. I pulled my hand from my lap, and caressed his abs while still gazing into his warm and hungry eyes. Then he did it. He leaned forward slowly and kissed me, softly. I closed my eyes and melted into his arms. We started making out, softly at first, then he got rough. He practically ripped my shirt off, and then he pulled his pants down to reveal his hardening boner. I kept feeling his abs and slowly made my way down to massage his dick. He pushed me on the bed, pulling my hands above my head and holding them there with his strong arms. He got his hips between my legs, a smile forming on his face. "You don't know how long I have wanted to fuck you," he spoke clumsily as he drew his face into mine and kissed me. His hands left my arms, exploring my body curiously. My God, it felt so incredible. I remembered thinking that this was a dream. No way in hell a football player was about to fuck me raw. "Oliveeeerrrrr," we both heard coming from downstairs. He swiftly jumped off me, picking my shirt off the ground, and throwing it at me. I quickly put it on and raced towards the door. "Wait," he said walking towards me. I turned around and he grabbed my stomach and pushed me to the wall of his bedroom. He again put my hands up above my head and French kissed me roughly. I did the same back, and could still taste the beer lingering in his month. "Oliveeeerrrrr," Hannah yelled again as I heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. He pulled off of me and I turned to the right, yanking the door open. A police car snapped me from my thoughts, and I looked about. I was back in Times Square again. I remembered the kid with black hair. How he made me feel inside. He made me feel like Jace made me feel in high school. I haven't had that feeling even with Ally. I was beginning to miss it. I got up and slowly walked the path I had seen him walk. I hope he didn't get in a cab or anything; I really wanted to see him again. I walked further, losing hope with each step. My luck was about gone when I saw him walking, hands in his pockets, while looking across the street at the entrance to the subway. I walked faster, but made sure to stay a distance away so he couldn't see me. Lights and sounds blared and boomed around me as I followed him. This was so unlike me, acting on my thoughts, a split second decision to stalk this guy who I just 'met'. What if he was a rapist or a serial killer? I laughed at that thought, he can rape me anytime he wants. No, no, that's wrong, but seriously, he looks like a fucking model. I continued following him into the station, and hid behind a white-tiled pillar. There was no one else in the station besides us, and I could get a good look at him under the lights. He had a built swimmers body with lovely icy blue eyes to complement. His hair was short but spiked up in every which way. The train came suddenly, and I slipped into the car ahead of him. I found a spot by the entrance doors and sat there quietly, sweeping my eyes around the car surveying the area. No one was in the car except a woman in the front with her headphones on. I got up and tried to get a better look at him in the car behind me. I couldn't, at least from this afar, so I got closer to the doors that separated the cars. I stayed there a while trying to see if I could see him, without him seeing me. After a minute of silence, the car doors opened, and guess who walked through them. Yup, the stranger that I had stalked through New York. He looked up at me, but didn't seem that surprised. I keep my eyes down, mostly in embarrassment. He glided from the doors to the seat opposite me. We were facing each other. Seconds went by and my heart was leaping out of my chest. If it wasn't for the sounds of the train, I am sure he would have heard it. I decided to peek at him from my gaze downward. I slowly inched up my eyes, and saw that he was staring down at the floor. I wanted to say something, I mean I had come this far. Either he thought I was a crazy person or was a really big loner. I was though, and it seemed like he was too. The loner, not the crazy person, I don't know. Furthermore, he didn't seem that social, but maybe he was just tired and didn't want to be bothered. Yeah, that was probably it. We Loved the Silent Sun Ch. 01 The train started to slow down and I figured we had arrived at another station. It was starting to get a little uncomfortable and I thought about leaving as we stopped at the station, and waited. He didn't even move an inch. The train rolled out of the station again. I saw the lights flickering by the window, faster and faster, returning to normal again. "Hey," he said in a brittle, yet quiet voice. I looked up at him and saw his full face from up close. Our eyes locked like a missile searching for its target. I could have held his gaze forever. "Hey," he answered before breaking the long gaze he had with me. There was a moment of silence, but I was determined to keep the conversation going. "Yes, it really was amazing," I said, referring to the comment he made earlier on the bleachers. A smile started to form in the corner of his lips. It made me feel much better about basically stalking him. "I know," he said, looking back up at me, half smile still there. "This is my first time in New York City, my first time ever in Times Square," I admitted as I leaned in to hear and talk to him better over the sounds of the train. "So you commemorate by stalking me?" he asked as his smile turned into a few laughs. I nervously laughed also and smiled at him. When I saw his smile and heard those chuckles, my heart literally skipped a beat. "I thought you were someone I knew, though," I badly lied to him. He again held my gaze and I held his blue eyes gently, they were searching me for the truth. He must have got it when I broke the stare and looked at the floor. "Oh," he said. With that, it remained quiet until the next stop. A few people got on and it seemed to be getting closer to morning rush hour. I wondered what time it was, I didn't bring my phone for some stupid reason. I looked all around to study the people who got on. These people looked determined, as if they were actually going somewhere that was important. Where was I going? I really had no clue, I was stalking this boy and I hadn't had a clue where he was going. "Where are you going?" I asked quietly. "Battery Park," he said as he looked around the train. "I love to watch the sun rise over the water in the morning." And then it was quiet again as the train stopped some more times at the stations and the train filled with eager passengers. We didn't talk much and I couldn't care less. I mean I wanted to know more about him, but I wasn't the talkative type. However, I really don't think he cared. "I am getting off at the next stop," he said after a few minutes of silence between us. "You should come with." "Okay," I said bluntly, and he did get off at the next stop and I did follow him, shoulder-to-shoulder, through the station. He smiled, a little, and tried to hide it but I noticed. I smiled too and made sure he saw me. I wanted to know what he was thinking about. Was it me? Goddamn, I hope it was me. It was still warm but the wind had picked up. The sky was cloudless and the moon was starting to fade away. I looked around me and saw the towering buildings. Lights turned on in the many homes as I looked up. The day was rushing back quickly. We walked through the park, under the swaying green trees, and I looked at the tall buildings on the other side of the river. The sky had started to turn those colors I had seen yesterday evening on the train. It was truly amazing, and I was somewhat glad I was not spending it alone. We got to the railing that separated land from the water below. I put my hand on it; the railing was quite cold as I peered out over the vast river. "I come here early like this, to think," he murmured as he too was peering out over the water, by my side. I looked at him and studied his face. "What do you think about?" I asked. He turned his head to look at me and we held each other's gaze for a second. Then he looked down at the ground, then back up to view the oncoming sunrise. He was quiet for a few seconds, never answering my question. "So," he said not looking at me. "Who are you visiting?" "A friend from High School." "A girlfriend?" he questioned tearing his eyes away from the water to gaze at me. "No, she is just a good friend," I answered, looking back at him. "Oh," he said as he turned his eyes back at the water. "What about you? Who are you visiting?" "My grandma" he said as he turned his head away from me. I wanted to hug him, he seemed so sad and distant and far away. I put my elbows on the black, cold railing and tried to look at his face. He wasn't crying, but seemed to be on the verge of it. "She is sick, not doing too well." "My grandpa died from cancer, I completely know what you are going through right now," I said to him quietly. He turned his head to look at me. A warm smile developed on his face, it was wide and it made his cheeks form into dimples. I was just happy that he didn't seem sad anymore, and I smiled back at him, as widely as he smiled at me. He leaned down to the black fence; elbows on it just like me. He continued to stare at me, a -smile lingering. "Julian," he said, holding out his hand to me. "Oliver," I said, smiling back while meeting his outstretched hand with mine. We slowly shook hands as we stared into each other's eyes for the longest time, smiles wide on our faces. He pulled his eyes away first to look behind himself at the sunrise. It was absolutely beautiful, stunning really. The sun was a vast ocean sweeping over the horizon, engulfing it whole. The whole sky seemed to be set afire by its yellowish blaze. I looked up at the skyscrapers around me and they seemed to be reflecting this view. It was astonishing, and I didn't have the right words to express out loud the beauty I was experiencing. "It's remarkable," he smirked as he continued to look forward at the sun. "I know," as I again studied his face for a second. He seemed deep in thought about a million things. He turned abruptly, hands in pockets and walked to the bench behind us. I followed him and sat with a sigh by him. We talked for a while, though. I mostly asked the questions, as he was silent. I tried to make jokes; I was terrible at them, but made him laugh a few times. He told me that he did attend college at Princeton University in New Jersey. His grandma wasn't feeling well, so he had come up here for the summer to take care of her. She had cancer like my grandpa. * The sun was about fully up when we started walking back to the train station together. We talked about everything. His favorite color was blue; I, of course, smiled when I heard that. I peered into those big eyes, grinning faintly. He looked back, not smiling just peering into my eyes. I think he was searching for something. I don't know what, but it made me feel special. It made me feel that I actually mattered in the world. I sounded so stupid, I know. We jumped down the steps of the station and paid for our fares. There weren't that many people in and around the station, and I remembered that it was Sunday. We walked together, shoulder-to-shoulder, to the bench facing the track. "How old are you?" I asked as I put my leg up sideways on the bench, turning towards him. He was looking at the tiles on the floor of the subway station. "Nineteen," he responded, looking back up at me. "And you?" "Same," I said. "You look older, though." "I know, people tell me that a lot," he said. "Well, you do," I affirmed. We got on in silence. After a couple of moments, I listened to the sounds of the train as it sprang to life. It slowly swept away from the emptying station, and picked up pace quickly. "We could, if you want, meet up or hang out tomorrow or whatever," I said hesitantly. He looked at me, a faint smile flashing across his face. Attempting to hide it from me, he looked back down. He nodded and reached into his right pocket to grab his phone. "I don't have my phone on me," I explained as he put his password in. "I left it at my friend's house." "It's okay," he said, handing me his, his smile now faded. "Just put your number in." I did as I was told, and handed it back to him. After a while, the train began to slow and my heart started to ache. I wanted to be with him more. Butterflies returned to my stomach, they didn't want to go away. They lingered and I thought that I would never see him again. "This is my stop," I sighed as I stood, reluctantly grabbing the long chrome handles that people use when the train is full. The train slowed for the last time as I peered down, and he looked up at me. It was awkward, we didn't smile at one another; we just looked longingly. Finally, I half-smiled at him and he did the same. "Bye, Julian," I said as the doors opened. "Bye," he said before turning back to stare in the opposite direction. The doors closed, and I watched as the train pulled slowly from the station. We Loved the Silent Sun Ch. 02 Chapter Two: The Party The first thing that I thought of when I woke was Julian. Hannah woke me up at noon, she had made some breakfast for us. It was cold now. "Whatcha do last night," she said, smiling but looking intensely at me. I feared she knew about Julian. Like she had followed me or something. "Nothing, you know just... walk around," I said. "Oh, you do like to do that," averting he eyes down to her phone. I said nothing more, as I didn't want to stick on the subject for too long. I mean she thought I was straight. Heck, I don't know what the fuck I was. Like I fucking hate saying the word gay. You know why? Because it makes me what to throw up; I get butterflies in my stomach, too. Like somehow someone will read my mind and know my 'secret.' I mean was it a secret? Am I admitting to myself that I am gay (butterflies)? Oh, hell no. Because you know what, I'm not. Totally not 'that word'. I am straight (-ish). "Do you wanna go with me to the market today?" Hannah said questionably, cutting off my various thoughts. "I need some things for the week." "Sure," I murmured as I finished eating my superbly delicious eggs. "You are welcome! Do you want something to drink from the kitchen?" She asked. "You know my answer," I said before gobbling down some bacon. "Orange Juice coming up." I finished up my breakfast relatively quick and got dressed. I was wearing something that showed off what little muscles I had. I don't know, maybe I could run into Julian. I mean, it's basically impossible in a city of 8 million but you know, I did it once, I could do it again. Loud music wasn't playing as it was the night before, and the cool colors had vanished. The lobby was quiet and humid, with light streaming in from the large windows in front of me. We walked out into the 84 degree weather, it was an exceptionally great day today. You know those days when everything is just great. Opposite of the days when I am borderline depression. I guess today is a great day because of Julian. I had met him and everything seemed beautiful, everything was beautiful. We went to this Whole Foods just up the road, I had never been in one before, I got to say, it was pretty nice. I got some snacks and more orange juice. Hannah got a fair amount of things. It's a wonder that she doesn't have to pay for any of it, her parents are amazing. They literally paid for everything she'd ever done, and the only thing Hannah had to do was do well in school. I wish my family was like that. My family was a fucked up mess compared to hers. I mean her mom and pop had met when they were both 32. They waited four years to get married, and that was both their first marriages. They had her when they were 40. I mean if you asked me that was the way to do it. I didn't want to be like my parents. My dad had got my mom pregnant at 19, he was 18. It was the summer before college for both, and that screwed up everything. My mom went for 2 months then dropped out. My dad stayed and just graduated this year with a masters in biology. They married when I was one. It lasted until I was two. My mom moved to Colorado and my dad stayed in Michigan. My dad, the womanizer, I call him. He's had four wives excluding my mother, having cheated on all of them. My mom, on the other hand, is my most favorite person in the world. She has worked hard to earn a life for her and me. Even though she dropped out of school she started her own business and put me in the private school. She has tried to make due out of a bad situation and she has succeeded thus far. I mean, if I had been raised by my dad I would be crazy. Like he literally could care less for me. He smoked weed as a kid, like a lot of weed. He had this weird raspy voice that you could tell that he did, it was one more annoying thing about him I hated. We got back to her house and chilled out all day. We played Xbox games and she beat me in Call of Duty every time. We talked for a while and also decided to go sightseeing tomorrow. We also talked about Ally. She brought it up and I got kind of mad at her. "It's over! I've already talked about this with you a million times!" I yelled. "I know I know, but you guys made such a good couple." "Brad and Jenn Aniston made a good couple, J.Lo and Ben made a good couple," I explained. "But guess what? They all broke up!" "Fine...Fine... Fine, I won't say nothin' about it anymore." "Thank you!" I said relieved that she was giving up. "I am having a party this weekend, though." Hannah blurted out without looking up from her phone. My first thought was to Ally. I hope she won't be there. That party would be hell on earth. More so if she brings her brother. But what about Julian? I wonder if he will call me by then. Should I bring him? No, it's too soon. Well maybe, he could meet everyone. I don't know. I hated this constant thinking about what I am going to do or what is going to happen. It seems to take the fun out of life. Maybe, I should just get to it when it comes. "Who's coming?" I said looking eagerly at Hannah. "Oh, she's not coming. If you'd bothered to talk to her you'd know she is in St. Barts for a family cruise." Relief poured out of me. Hannah must have seen it because she rolled her eyes at me and exclaimed she was going to bed. "Fine, good night," I said bluntly. "Night." She answered, slowly slipping into her room. * A couple of days past, and nothing happened. Ally and I enjoyed New York City, it was a sweltering 96 degrees on Tuesday. We went to Coney Island and got New York-style hot dogs. They tasted amazing, with huge chunks of onions to gobble down. We walked along the beach and talked for a while. There were tons of people, but particularly there were tons of guys. Many had little Speedos on that showed off just the right around of bulge. They had really gorgeous bodies too, with the sunlight reflecting off of them like they were bronze Gods. God, thinking about them made me so horny. Butterflies formed in my stomach at the thought of it. The most annoying part was I couldn't keep myself from looking. Hannah would be talking to me about some crap, but all I could focus on was the ass of the almost naked guy in front of me. He was wearing nothing but a speedo; it was black and just showed the two little bums that were his nice behind. Ironically the word on the back of his tiny Speedo read 'A$$' in large white bold lettering. I did chuckle a little when I saw it, but the even funnier part was when we stopped at the bar to get something to drink. The guy that had been in front of us had stopped there too and was now drinking a tall glass of beer. As if absentmindedly, I sat next to him and Hannah followed. And guess what? He fucking started flirting with me. And guess what? I flirted back, albeit badly. He had long flowing blond hair that was still wet from the ocean. He was a little tan but so was I so we made a perfect match. He looked like the stereotypical surfer dude. Oh and he had one of the nicest smiles I had ever seen. It was big, and his teeth were as white as snow. He made a comment on the type of drink we got, ice-cold lemonade, and it started from there. We talked for a good couple of minutes. When I mean 'we' I mean me and him, Hannah looked on without saying a word. I learned that he lived on Long Island, and had just graduated from college. He was moving to Australia in the next couple of weeks to take up a job. "I have always wanted to go to Australia," I said as I looked into his deep gorgeous blue eyes. "I heard there are tons of animals that could kill you in the second though." "No, I am way too strong for all that, all those animals wouldn't bother to mess with me." He exclaimed in his deep voice. I chuckled a bit and smiled at him shyly. "Uh.., Olive, we got to go to that... that... The thing we saw on the billboard a way back." She said cutting into the conversion. She was such a bad actress. I mean no one in their right mind would believe that. "Umm, okay," I said as we got up ready to leave. "It was nice talking to you." "You too." He said with a faint smile on his face. "And if you are ever in Australia you should give me a call." He suggested, taking a pen off the bar and scribbling his number on my palm. I shyly waved and left with Hannah, a little mad that we had to go so quickly. "Wow, he was really flirting with you." She said astonished as we walked back the way we came. "Really? No. No. No. He wasn't... Really?" I said as I was thinking about too many things at one time. Hannah looked at me weirdly for a second, but she didn't say anything more about it. We went back to the subway station quietly and headed home. * Wednesday came and went fast, and so did Thursday. We went shopping, with nothing eventful happening like Tuesday. We went shopping in SoHo and got clothes and things for the party. I got this really nice (and expensive) tank top from Topman. Boy, did I look nice in it. My dirty blond hair fit nice with the color, black. To me, it made it stand out more. I also had some extra money so I bought these nice boots. It was a little hot for all that, but with my faded black skinny jeans and the new tank plus the boots, I looked like a fucking model. I asked Hannah what she thought and she said, and I quote, "You look like the biggest fuck boy I have ever seen." I tried to get her to tell me what it means and she wouldn't. When she didn't respond I said, "Well it must mean I am fuckin' gorgeous cuz' I am bitch." She rolled her eyes and smiled at me. "I know," she agreed before adding, "Bitch." Friday night came, it was the day before the party. Some of Han's New York friends came over and they talked for a bit. They also brought some stuff over for the party. They were actually really nice, someone smelled of weed but it wasn't a big deal. I knew there was going to be some weed at the party. I didn't like it, but I couldn't just ban all weed, but they were going to bring tons of alcohol. That was okay with me. Apparently there was this guy in Jersey that doesn't card for alcohol, but only if you tip him some tons of money. So of course, the rich kids got all the booze. Although, I've drunk alcohol before when Ally and Jace had their parties, but I've never fully gotten drunk. Maybe I will this time. I felt like getting piss drunk, without a care to the world. What care did I have? I mean I had no incentive to go out there and find myself. If I did I guess I would have been in a place that I would have meet someone already. Not a person that I just met in Times Square. Well, I guess it was the same thing. Meeting someone you don't know in a club and dancing and barely talking. While I meet Julian outside where there was no music, no other people yelling loudly. There was just the sun and Julian and New York City. We talked, not a lot because of course I wasn't the small talking type, he wasn't either though. By the end of the day I had made my decision, I was going to forever alone. That was it, exactly it. I was going to become an asexual, and live in a hut in New Zeeland and not talk or look at anyone ever again. That actually seemed appealing to me by 6pm on a Friday evening. Yeah, I was at home on a Friday evening in the biggest city in the whole USA. Hannah was gone somewhere, out with friends. She asked if I wanted to tag along and I whispered a quiet, "no." "Okay suit yourself," she said in this somehow condensing tone that was rather annoying. It made me not want to talk to anyone at all for a couple of days. Also, it made me really want a couple of glasses of beer, maybe vodka if she came back earlier. By 7, the city seemed even more alive than before. There was no alcohol in the house for some god awful reason which made me turn to my second coping method, reading. I looked around the house and didn't find a single damn book. Not a fucking thing, not even a porn mag which I didn't remotely expect Hannah to have, but a guy can hope can't he? I decided to go to this large bookshop up the street. I still had enough money left in my checking account and I needed to take my mind off life. I stepped out the front door a minute later, and walked along the brightly lit sidewalk hastily but quietly. It was a few blocks up and didn't feel like paying for a shit cab. The sun was fading but was still lighting up the sidewalks amazingly. It seemed like one of those lazy summer days. You know the days you don't do anything that helps you or society. You just lie in bed all day or eat junk food, not giving a shit what it does to you. I guess I did that, I cried all day about stupid things that I could fix if I wasn't so damn stubborn. I got to the bookstore in a haste. It was a nice little shop. They were all used books, and they were nice and cheap which was good for me. I saw such titles as 'Slaughter-house Five' 'Cather in the Rye' 'Perks of Being a Wallflower' and my all-time favorite book 'The Great Gatsby.' Why was that my favorite book of all time? I really didn't know, I could say all these complex things, evaluating Jay Gatsby, the main character. But the truth is that when I first read the book in 9th grade, I fell deeply in love with him. When he died in the end, I went into a deep depression for a while. I know it sounds pointless, but he loved Daisy so much and love like that should burn and rage for a lifetime. Not die and wither off as if it has never happened. Although I've read the book 3 times, each time better than the last, each more and more falling in love with him. I picked 'The Metamorphosis' by Franz Kafka. It's been on my list for ages, but I kept putting it off for some reason. Today seemed like a good day to read it. I paid for it and walked back out into the smooth summer air. I decided that since I've never been to Central Park that I should go and read, why not? I hopped on the subway, just across from the store. I paid quickly as I hopped on a train that arrived in a rush and left the same way. I got off by Columbus Circle, it was a huge roundabout with this nice monument in the middle. There was a lot of what seemed to be tourist around. Some were speaking what I recognized to be mandarin, some spoke Spanish. I rushed past them and onto Central Park. I whined to myself because this would be an amazing place to take someone on a lazy summer evening. Some children were playing in the background and the sounds of the city were quite loud, but at the same time it was all so silent. Birds chirped and the leaves rustled as a gentle breeze swept over everything. I laid down on a nice patch of grass and started reading softly. Everything felt perfect and exact as if nothing can ruin this moment. I was laying here reading and thinking nothing about Julian or Hannah or Ally, not even Jace. I wasn't thinking about anyone but Gregor Samsa as he was turned into a beautifully ugly monstrous insect. * "Oliver?" "Oliver?" "Olllliiiiivvveeerrrrr." "I can see you... what the hell are you doing?" I, Oliver Harrison was possessed with fear. Why do you ask? Well, I know that voice very well. It was this voice (albeit drunk but nonetheless) that I kissed on his bed after the party. It was this voice that I probably will never get over. It was this voice that had amazing abs and jet black hair. It was the voice of Jace Christianson. How was he in New York? Wasn't he supposed to be on the family cruise with Ally and their parents? Did Hannah lie? Why would she do that? I had so many frickin' questions and never enough answers. I pulled down 'The Metamorphosis' that was covering my face. I had fallen asleep, it was definitely darker now but the sun was still up, just barely. Jace looked at me with puzzlement in his eyes, he was still drop dead gorgeous. The last time I had smiled at his face was a little over 4 years ago, that night. Since he has been away he had got a little buffer, most likely from all the football. He had cut his hair, it was shorter which made him look even sexier. Fuck. I hated this. I wanted out. I did not want to be around him. It made me feel weird. I was just about to leave when Hannah came up from behind him. "Who are you talking to?" She asked as she looked forward and saw me. Her eyes widened and she smiled awkwardly. "SURPRISE!" She yelled, throwing her hand up in the air suddenly. "Ally what the hell is happening?" I said looking at her, not at the hot guy next to her. "Ugh!" She said throwing her hand up again. "I wanted to wait and tell you this later but Me and this fuckboy are dating." "What?" I yelled surprised at her answer. "But... But... How? When? What?" I stammered, dumbfounded. "I will tell you later, what in hell's name are you doing in central park sleeping at this hour?" She said sounding like my mom. "This is not small town, USA, Oliver. You that right?" "Yeah, I'm fine, I was reading and I feel asleep, I guess." She looked with concern then motioned for me to get up. I did and walked over to her, keeping my eyes off a still confused Jace. We walked and talked a while through the various sidewalks of Central Park. She and Jace had just been out to dinner the minute he got in, and they decided to go walking in Central Park. "A nice romantic evening" as Hannah put it. I, as you can guess, almost threw up. Like literally, I choked when she said it. When she asked if I was okay I heard the bastard laughing. I was really starting to hate him. He hadn't said a thing since Hannah saw me. I think he was kind of scared, I wondered if Hannah told him I was here? It really doesn't matter, I just knew in my head that I would keep as far away from those abs as possible. After a while, I said bye to them and said I would meet them later at the house. I decided to just start walking again. Part of me wanted to forget him, part of me wanted to find Julian and explain everything. Part of me wanted to go and shout at him for all the world to hear. "YOU'RE DATING HANNAH?" "HOW IN GOD'S NAME COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" "I FUCKING LOVED YOU FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG." I walked to Times Square half expecting to see Julian sitting on the red steps smiling. He wasn't there though, I missed him. I really did, I missed his face. He provided a sense of security somehow like nothing could go wrong with him there. I wanted to stay out long so I didn't have to face Jace. I went to look at some clothes that I had no intention of buying and got some food from this little shop down the street. It tasted amazing, I added some really hot sauce. I ate that and walked along Broadway, heading back towards Central Park. I walked for a while after that and read while I walked. Not the best thing to do in New York but I was bored. I decided when it turned 10 o'clock that it was time to head to Hannah's and face life. I wasn't that far away and was there by about 10:30. Hannah had a couple of friends over, with Jace nowhere to be found. I said hi to everyone and shuffled into my room quietly. * I was being shaken and then my eyes popped open and I saw him. The light from the street and the faint moonlight illuminated his face in this weird blue glow. He smiled when he saw my eyes open and I did the same. 'Fuck don't smile you dipshit,' I thought. I couldn't help it. He was amazingly beautiful. I reached up my hand and felt his stubble on his face. Part of me wanted to slap it; part of me wanted to keep rubbing that face forever. "Listen Oliver, I am sorry," he spoke deeply while turning away from my gaze. "About what?" I answered, sitting up in my bed, and playing innocent as if I hadn't had a clue what he was talking about. "You know, high school and now me with Hannah. I am really sorry for all that shit in high school." We Loved the Silent Sun Ch. 02 "Let's not do this now at..." I paused and looked at the digital clock above the TV, he followed my eyes closely. "3:24 in the morning." I continued. "I know, I know," he said lying on his back on my bed, looking up at the ceiling. He was huge, he had to be about 6 foot tall. I wanted to go over there and hug him, curl up in his warm arms all night. As he was looking up at the ceiling he started smiling. I knew what he was thinking about. "I remember that night, I really wanted you, you know?" "Oh really, I had no clue," I said sarcastically. He sat up and looked at me. "Fine, I'm Bisexual," he acknowledged. "You are the first guy that I have ever kissed." He looked for me to reply and I said nothing so he continued. "I regretted doing that with you, although I was really drunk," he saw me roll my eyes so he added, "but that is no excuse. And you helped me to figure out my sexuality, so that's a plus." I rolled my eyes again because he seemed to have no interest in me, he was so different from that drunk high school jock. To me, I wasn't really mad anymore, I just didn't care for him. Above him being absolutely beautiful, he didn't have to brightest personality. It was like he was just this outer shell with nothing but crap inside. Granting, he at least told me he was bisexual. I mean he could be one of those crazy people who thinks their straight after that kiss he gave me. "Why Hannah?" I asked quietly. "She isn't an asshole," he smirked sexily. "The girls at Michigan State were kinda sluts and the guys were too, and we just started talking last summer when Ally and you went all crazy." "Oh," I said. "Well, you better treat her nice or I'm coming for your ass." "You can come for this ass anytime, hun," he laughed. I rolled my eyes a third time. "So we're cool?" he asked me, jumping up from my bed. "I was a little mad earlier but I could care less about you, so." "Ha, you're cute. Glad to know I am so appreciated." "Yea whatever," I said staring out the large windows. "So I'll see you tomorrow at the party, right?" "Maybe, if I don't hate people too much tomorrow, then yeah," I answered. "So yes? Okay good, I will see you tomorrow, night olive oil," he laughed before closing the door behind him. I rolled my eyes a fourth time. * The Party started at 9 o'clock, but Hannah's friends were here all day. They helped bring in this nice DJ set for her friend from Harvard who was DJing. Some people brought in all the booze, tons of it. I asked Hannah how many people were coming and she didn't have a clue. She invited everyone on her Facebook, she had like 1,000 friends. I got dressed at 8 and stayed in my room until it started because I hated small talk, of course. I looked pretty nice. I did actually look like a model, and I spiked up my hair so it looked sexy. I wanted to dance with someone. Anyone. Not Jace. I don't know. He barely spoke to me when Hannah was around, and I haven't really see him all day. He helped carry the DJ stuff in though, and he was wearing these running shorts that showed off his package really nicely. I subverted the butterflies for a while and stared intensely, it turned me on a lot. He saw me looking but didn't do anything, just stared back for a second then he looked elsewhere. I came out of my room at 9:04 to go get drunk. I was ready. I needed it. I grabbed a beer and sat down on the couch. There were already tons of people and the music was kind of loud. I looked around and saw no one that I knew. I took a swig of beer every time I saw someone kissing. I had passed one and a half bottles when I decided to lay off for a while. I went to the bathroom and fixed myself up and took a nice long piss. When I got out I saw Hannah coming towards me, she seemed mildly drunk. "Hey, dude." "Hi, Han." "You having fun?" she asked as she leaned against the wall by the hallway. "No..." I answered subverting my eyes from her gaze. "But I'll be cool." "Promise me this Olive," she said taking her hands and running it through my newly fixed hair. "You will find someone tonight." Without hesitation I answered. "Okay." I don't know why I answered quickly, I guess it was intuition, I don't know. Hannah smiled bright and kissed me on the cheek. She went into the bathroom and I went out into the main area. There were tons of people, two times as many as when I left for the bathroom. I walked to the couch and looked around. There he was in all his stupor. Intense butterflies hit me like a shit ton of bricks. What do I say? Will it be awkward? OMG, do I look cute enough. I sounded like a boy who just saw his first crush. He was turned the other way facing the large windows but seemed to be looking down at the floor. I check my breath and hair quickly and walked over to him a little clumsily, a bit too many beers in my system. He hadn't changed much in the last week, his hair still had that gel in it and I saw his icy blue eyes reflecting in the windows. Like I saw him last week, he looked sad and distant. I wanted with all my heart to change that, maybe he can change me right back. I sat down quietly and he flung his head over to me. He rolled his eyes, and for a second I thought he was mad, but he started smiling and looked to the right so I couldn't see his face. "Hi," I said chuckling when I saw him smile. "Hey, so you're officially stalkin' me now?" He whispered softly. "Umm... no," I said rolling my eyes playfully. "I fucking live here. I should be asking you how you got to my house." "My friend invited me with him, he goes to Columbia." "Oh," I replied and it was quiet for a couple of minutes. "Oh, I'm sorry I haven't called you," he said unexpectedly. "It's cool bro," I answered. Wait, did I really just say bro? What the hell am I doing, I thought. "You want some beer?" I said getting up to go get some more. "Yeah," he said looking up at me, he smiled a little bit and my heart died. "That would be nice." I went over to the kitchen and grabbed two beers. I looked over to my right to see the two 'lovebirds' making out passionately. Jace was wearing this shirt that made his large strong muscles stand out, God he looked amazing. I wished Hannah knew everything. I wondered what she would do. I forced myself to look away, and kept walking past the crowd of drunk couples dancing to the exceptionally loud music. I walked back into the living room area to find the sofa incredibly empty. * I got drunk. I mean I got piss drunk. I could hardly see anything as I looked up at the clock. What was that number again? 3 or a 5. 2 or a 4. I don't know. I was tired though and did I mention I was drunk. I had stayed on the couch watching the two 'lovebirds' dancing drunkenly. After the 3th beer, I lost count. So, I forced myself to stop even though I wanted to keep going. I got up, stumbling every which way, almost hitting the armchair on my way to my room. There were still tons of people, but no one seemed to care, much like my life. I was miserable, I truly was. I hated myself, I truly did. I hated everybody else, except my mom. I missed her. You know how I got through my misery when I wasn't 19 and could freely access alcohol? I read books and didn't talk. I know that seems weird, but I guess I am weird. I got into my room what seemed like 20 minutes later. Was there someone there? There looked to be a figure on my bed? Oh, God I hope it wasn't Jace, I didn't need his ass to see me like this. Maybe it could be some other couple looking to have some quiet place to shag. I rolled my eyes. "Yous' a better get right now," I said slurring my words. "Oliver?" "That's you right? Is that you the guy who left me? Like all the people who leave me?" "I'm sorry babe, come here and lay down." "NO, I am so done with trying to do everything in my life and have it no work out the ways that I wants it too. Ally, gone. Hannah with that ass Jace, gone. Now you, gone. He got up and glided his little self over to me. I could see his icy blue eyes in the weird glow that Jace had upon him last night. "I won't leave you again," he reassured me as he stared into my eyes a little drunkenly, but still full aware of the world around him. He grabbed my cold hands into his soft warm hands and led me to my bed. At this point, I shed tear after tear. Half of those tears were from being so very drunk, half were from being lonely and depressed. Julian brought me some tissues and I blew my nose and cried into them. Boy, I must be really ugly right now in front of him. Although, I don't really think he cared. I got into bed and looked up at him sitting beside me. His jet black hair swept to one side, me being drunk and eyes full of tears. "You gonna come lay with me?" I whispered looking intensely at him. He smiled shyly at me and his eyes moved from mine to the spot right beside me in my bed. He climbed over in an instant and lay right next to me. He put his arm around my skinny chest and hugged my tight. I could vaguely feel his rather large dick pressed against my back. It made me a little horny again but decided, amazingly enough, because of me being absolutely wasted, I would just sleep. "We fit perfectly," I heard him say as I fell into a long and restful slumber. * The light was shining through and it hit my eyes perfectly. I winced because I had the biggest headache ever. I thought to myself 'You are never drinking again' even though it was the biggest lie ever told. Then I felt the warmth of him. He was lying beside me, and I couldn't for the life of me remember what happened last night. The only thing that I remembered was vivid images of walking to my door, then that's it. God, I hope I didn't do anything stupid. Something was poking me in the back. Oh God, that was his dick. Damn, that thing was huge, it felt amazing on my back, and I guess the booze does make you a little horny. I grinded myself into him and felt my dick jump just a bit. When I did, his eyes popped open and he jumped up from my bed. He looked at the clock which read '7:54' on it. He looked down at his jeans where you could just make out the imprint of his cock. I laughed. "Looks like someone has a morning wood," I chuckled at him and he rolled his eyes at me. "Shut up," he said fixing himself to my enjoyment. Then I remembered, Hannah? What if she sees him? I got up from my bed and grabbed his arm. I pulled him to the door while I peeked out of it. "What are you doing Oliver?" He asked still trying to fix himself. Everybody was gone, but the house was a fucking mess. There were red cups everywhere and balloons were lying dead on the floor. "The coast is clear," I whispered and I walked quietly over to the front door. "You better call me, because we meeting up this many times is getting kinda weird," I said softly pushing him out the front door. "I will." "But thanks for keeping my company, I don't remember last night but I slept the best I've slept in a long time." He laughed and I chuckled. "Yeah, I guessed that," Julian said smiling at me, dimples forming on his cheeks. "You have dimples? Wow, they...ummm..they look really sexy on you," I said shyly to him, butterflies filling my stomach. He laughed and said a small 'thanks' and stared into my eyes, and I stared into his. For a while, it seemed like, with the sun shining and his dimples forming and his warm icy blue eyes. That all there was in the world was just me and Julian and the shining sun.