10 comments/ 16601 views/ 25 favorites Synthetic By: squeezes Here is my first attempt at a story. * * * * * "It's so hot!" I mumble to myself. I imagine eggs sunny side up in a frying pan sizzling away. Those damn commercials "this is your brain, this is your brain on drugs" (if no drugs are available, 105 degree heat will do just fine!). I'm stripped down to just my boxers, sprawled out on my bed, fan on full blast but the heat is still overbearing. I look over as the door merrily swings open. Can a door swing merrily? Maybe it's my angle or my brain sizzling away but I swear that swing is merry because doors can't feel the sweltering heat. "You have reading to do." "Yes, I know I have reading to do but my brain isn't functioning right now." I respond slightly annoyed. "You'll fail if you don't keep up with your reading." Kay is leaning against the doorframe, dress in a black polo shirt and cargo shorts. The light streaming in from the living room behind him creates a halo around his blondish brown hair. He's dressed in black. I close my eyes and behind my lids I imagine the heat attacking Kay in his neatly pressed black polo shirt. He looks so neat, so comfortable, so put together, so... Kay! I hate him. I roll closer to my fan and groan. "Why aren't you hot?" "You're an idiot. Synpers don't get hot. My cooling system kicks in when the external temperature reaches 75 degrees Fahrenheit." That's right. We have been together so long that sometimes I forget that Kay is not human. Synpers stands for Synthetic Person. A Synper is designed to look and act human. They are meant to become an extension of their owners by filling in gaps and needs in a companion role. Supposedly their growth is activated by love and affection. It is the key to Synpers properly molding themselves physically and emotionally into adulthood. When Kay entered my life I was in elementary school and he was shorter than me. I must have given him enough affection somehow because he is now taller than me standing at 6'1". Good looking bastard. Why can't I be the one who is 6'1" and dreamy looking? He strides over and touches my cheek. I nuzzle his hand like a kitten wanting more of his cool touch stroking my face. Then an idea hits my runny eggs brain. HA, still some brain cells not completely fried. I pounce Kay. In my mind I have instantly grown from kitten to tiger pouncing on my prey. In reality what an observer might have seen was me tumbling out of bed and Kay catching me but I will swear to more pouncing and less tumbling. "STRIP!" I command. "What...?" Kay looks at me with a shocked expression. "I have an idea, STRIP!" I start pawing at clothing while turning Kay towards my bed. I manage to unbutton his cargo shorts and they fall to the floor and start lifting up his shirt. I push Kay onto my bed and he helps me remove his shirt the rest of the way. I press my body to his naked chest. "Ahhhh...relief. Your skin is so perfectly cool. This feels so much better than lying on sweaty bed sheets. Why didn't I think of this before?" "You really are an idiot." "Mmmhmm." I agree. I close my eyes and the last thing I remember is Kay's hand stroking my hair as I drifted off to sleep. That's how it was for all those hot summer nights. I would lie in bed with him next to me. After awhile even on the cooler nights he would still be there. It became natural for him to be in my bed, like a temperature regulated body pillow that I would drape my arms and legs over. * * * * * It was hot AGAIN. I guess it makes sense because I heard Los Angeles is a desert although I would never have guessed with the surprisingly green lawns littered across campus. Tonight would be a big night. Tonight was going to be my first college party. I imagine kids huddled around beer kegs, beer pong, beer cards, beer dancing, beer (insert activity here) and ... I wonder what other myriad of stupid activities people can come up with to do while drinking beer? I shake my head, my mind is drifting again I should just think about getting to my destination and just live the moment instead of imagining far fetched scenarios. I've seen too many dumb movies involving antics and college parties. As usual Kay is tailing me in an ironed-wrinkle free t-shirt and ironed out jeans. I don't remember even brining and iron to school. He must have snuck that in somewhere on the move down, that cocky perfect looking bastard. The least he could do is iron some of my stuff while he's at it but no, I need to learn independence. I WOULD be more independent if Mr. Perfect was not shadowing my ass all the time. I push those thoughts away as I start to hear the rhythmic pounding of music. I reach the frat house and turn back to look at Kay. "I'm going in." I steel my nervous excitement. Kay gives me a disapproving look but simply nods in acknowledgement. So what if that bastard thinks I should be cooped up studying. I'm not doing THAT badly. I'm sure something will work out right? So what if HE doesn't approve of underage drinking. That's what college life is supposed to be about! I'm glad he didn't give me a lecture and begrudgingly came with me. I'm kind of comforted by the thought that if I get piss drunk I won't be stumbling home by myself. I would never let him know that though. I push through the crowd at the front door. In here the dance beat is deafening and I can feel it through my whole body. I think my heart is pounding to the same rhythm as the beat. Maybe soul-pounding music would be a good alternative to a pacemaker when I hit 70. I expect by that time I wouldn't be able to hear the music unless it was turned up this loud so it might just work out. The air is stale and smells like alcohol, hash, and is that a hint of boys' locker room? I half dance my way to the kitchen where I see a pile of red plastic cups and the kegs. I'm guessing I look like a fool but it didn't seem appropriate to just stroll through the make-shift dance floor of the living room with all those writhing bodies rubbing up against each other. I grab myself a cup and fill. Cheers! I clink an imaginary glass with mine and take a large swig. I gag. Oh yeah, you're super cool man." I start thinking to myself. This stuff tastes like crap. Do all these people major in acting or something? They seem to be downing this stuff just fine. "Okay, pull yourself together man. Why don't you just try something else. Yeah." I giving myself the pep talk. I'm the little engine that could. Choo chooooo!!! I'll just keep chugging along and trying to find something I like. I chuck the gagwater and pour myself some whisky and mix in some Coke for taste. Tastes like burning but I can deal with this. I don't feel any effects so I drink another cup, then another. BAM! Maybe one too many cups for a novice drinker like me. But at least I'm feeling "GRRREEAAATT"!! The almighty alcohol allows me to channel the spirit of Tony the Tiger. I should call my mom and thank her for all those years of balanced, sugar coated breakfasts. I dance to the heart racing rhythm. Where is Kay? I want to see him. Target locked: search and destroy. I pull Kay by the arm to corner of some guy's room. My minion comes willingly. Oh innocent unsuspecting boy. I'm feeling bold and very horny. His lips look so good. I pull his head to mine and brush my lips against his. His lips are as soft as I have imagined. I place slow kisses on them. He bits my lower lips and sucks it into his mouth. I explore his hot tongue as he explores mine. My cock is already rock hard. My hands creep under his shirt to explore his skin. His back is smooth with well formed muscles making up the expanse of skin. I grind my body against his. I am awkwardly humping his leg like my Aunt Courtney's Jack Russell. I hate that overgrown rat-dog. The bulge in my jeans is becoming way too tight so I start to unbutton my jeans. He reaches down unzipping my fly and wraps his warm fingers around my shaft. I imagine the rat-dog Russell going crazy in my mind. Take it easy there boy. My fingers are on autopilot and I urge his hand to free my cock from the underwear caging it. My cock positively springs forward like a fanatical puppy bounding towards his master. He gives me a few appreciative squeezes and starts stroking. I rock my hips into his hand and he mirrors my timing with his strokes on my attentive cock. My breathing starts to speed up. He's licking my neck and stroking faster. I can't hold it in much longer; the sensation to my hazy brain is too much. I cum hard all over his hand and watch it drips through his fingers. He brings his hand up to his lips and starts licking as if it's delicious icing from a cake. When he's finished with his show I sigh in disappointment. He chuckles. The guy who lives in this room probably wasn't expecting a dose of my cum on his floors. I repackage my spent cock and I disentangle myself from his limbs and come up with a lame reason for us to head home. I mumbled something about homework, tired, house might be on fire? "Okay, we'll get out of here." * * * * * I stumble out the front door I came through thoroughly exhausted from the night. It was more fun than I could have imagined. I glance over at Kay who wraps a strong arm around my waist for support. The stability feels good. Was he always this strong? He guides me home through empty streets without saying much. I magically arrive back at my apartment and I flutter in. Yes, flutter like a butterfly with my alcohol induced abilities. I gracefully make my way to my bed and stand for a minute like I'm admiring the crumpled bed sheets. I sway like my wings are being blown around by a nonexistent wind. As always, Robin to my Batman (or Butterflyman) Kay is right there by my side. He forces a cup of water into my hands. "Drink. You'll feel better in the morning if you do." He commands. I obey like a good rat-dog. He starts to undress me to get ready for bed. I managed to take in half the water by the time I am down to my boxers before I collapse on the bed. I place my glass down and beckon Kay over to take his position by my side in bed. Body-Pillow-Man strips off his shirt and then the pants come off. I see a stretch of smooth, hairless skin and unconsciously lip my lips. He gets into his side of the bed and I start to stroke his skin just wanting to touch it. He feels so good when my fingers touch him. I rub my cheek against his chest and get the urge to taste him. I lick the patch of chest my cheek was resting on. I want more. I lick down to his nipples and slowly twirl my tongue around it. I suck on it slowly. I hear Kay gasp, almost groan and let my eyes roam up to his face. He is looking back at me unmoving with those blazing blue eyes. I start kissing the places my lips have been and blaze a new trail up to his lips. His lips move in time to mine. I urge his mouth open and explore him while kissing him deeply. Maybe it is the earlier sexual confidence or the alcohol removing my inhibitions, maybe a little bit of both but I am fueled. I slip out of my boxers and grab Kay's hand urging him to touch me. His fingers lightly brush my length and ends by swirling his thumb over the tip of my cock. "I want you to take me." I gasp out. My voice is deeper than normal, my breathing ragged. Did I just say that? I don't even recognize myself. Kay understands right? If anyone would understand me Kay does. His eyes light up. He rolls me off of him and reaches over me to my nightstand. He takes out the Vaseline I keep in my dresser. I have never been so thankful to have chronic chapped lips in my life. I watch him coat a finger with the gel. I suck in a breath when it touches me. It is colder than I expected but not unpleasant. He pushes his finger inside me. "Mmmmm." He uses one finger, then two, then three until I am moaning for more. "Kay..." I don't have to say anything else. I just look into his eyes and he knows. He pulls down his own boxers and lets his perfectly sized penis flop out. I eye him as he places the hard rod at my entrance. He gently starts to push in and rocks in and out in slow strokes until he bottoms out and I feel deliciously full. He grazes over my hot button with each stroke. A little puddle is forming on my stomach from all the liquid leaking out of me. I meet each of his trusts as he pounds into me. My brain has shut off a long time ago. I'm just moaning and groaning incoherently to his tempo. One, two, three trusts, you're out. With that I explode my quart, liter, gallon of cum. I coat my chest with my sticky glue then pull Kay down to smash his chest into me, his lips to mine, and adhere him to my body and soul. We kiss until my lips feel bruised and I need to break for air. I'm completely sated. I start to drift off to sleep with Kay in my arms or maybe I'm the one in his arms. A thought flutters through my brain as the last remaining part of Butterflyman. "I love him." * * * * * Things were good. I didn't fail any of the summer classes I was taking. Okay, I didn't fail mostly due to Kay being extremely pushy about keeping up with my studies. I mostly spent my days indoors with Kay. My chance having a normal college party life I saw in all those movies was a far away dream. I felt like I had already stood on the dock and waved goodbye to the party cruise ship. As soon as I got to smash the bottle of champagne against the body that was it for me. "Goodbye! Have a nice trip. I won't be having any fun with you guys from now on. Don't worry, Mr. Pushy already got your message to lock my delicate ass away never to see the party cruise ship again." Sigh. Yet things were still comfortable at home with Kay. I never really figured out how Kay went from being my best friend to lover overnight but it just seemed right. I didn't know what to think about it so I stopped thinking about it. "Grrwwwllllll." My stupid stomach. 12:47pm. No wonder, usually I would be eating by now. I walk out of my bedroom into my kitchen. My eyes pop out and my heart stops. I'm frozen to my spot starring at a sight I never thought I'd see. Kay is lying on the floor motionless. I rush to his side. I am hysterical. "What do I do?!" I am simply flailing around. My arms flail, flail, flail in all directions. I jiggle him around. Shake, shake, shake. Wake up. What's wrong? Kay's eyes pop open. I fall backwards at the scare as he starts to move again. "What the hell happened? What is WRONG?!" My voice reaches a pitch only dogs can hear at the last word. All over the world dogs are howling disapprovingly. He simply looks at me and sits up. "I don't know. I have been feeling...odd." "ODD?! O-D-D?! YOU SHOULD TELL ME THESE THINGS! IT'S NOT RIGHT FOR YOU TO FEEL ODD!" By now I'm yelling as loud as I can. I spit out the word odd like it's a profanity. Spit literally flies out of my mouth from the heated yelling. Synpers don't feel "odd." I grab his shoulders and start shaking him wildly. Probably not the best idea considering he was just unconscious on the floor but I am not known to think things through. Plus, it makes me feel better. "What do I do Kay? What do I do to help you?! I'm taking you to a doctor." "Maybe my manufacturer would be a better idea." He helpfully chimes in. "Manufacturer. Good idea. We're going there now. I'll look up the address the nearest address." "No need. I know where it is. I'll drive." "No you won't! You'll tell me where it is. I'll drive. What if you..." I gesture wildly around not wanting to say the word. "...collapse again." I huff out. He shrugs. "Okay." That's what I hate about Kay. He is always so calm and so reasonable. Like this is an everyday occurrence to him. It is like he is saying "hey man, just relax, I was just seeing if the floor is comfortable, and let me tell you, it's really not!" We run down to the parking lot and jump into my car. I drive the 15 or so blocks which feel like stretch over one million miles of road. It takes us about 10 minutes to get there. I pull into the hug parking structure and I rush into the lobby. The lobby is marble, steel and glass. The wall behind the receptionist's desk spells out the company's name and motto loud and clear. LCC - Making tomorrow today. I slam my palms the down onto the counter. The young woman at the desk isn't fazed by my abruptness and keeps her cheery smile plastered to her cheery face. "How may I help you?" Mrs. Cheery-Smile says, I notice from her nametag says Veronica. "He..." I point accusingly at Kay. "He collapsed. I want to speak with someone." Kay simply blinks at the young woman and flashes an equally cheery smile. They beam at each other. I can see Veronica's heart already starting to melt from Kay's thousand watt smile sending warm goodness flooding her way. Mrs. Way-Too-Cheery-Smile-Veronica simply nods and says, "I'll page an engineer up to the front. Please have a seat while you wait. There are cookies and coffee in the corner!" My mood doesn't lighten at the prospect of cookies. We wait. * * * * * It must be a long walk from wherever this mystical "back" is to the front because we have to wait 25 minutes for the engineer to arrive. When he calls to us I am not impressed by what I see. Okay, I am impressed but for a reason I should not be. I see a pasty faced tub waddle over to us. His belly is so big from years of chips and beer that I have to choke back the urge to ask him when the baby is due. Or maybe he himself is a test subject to a wacky experiment and men can now explode out children from their midsections. "Hello. My name is Doctor David Summers. You can call me Dr. Sums." He chuckles to himself. I wonder if that is supposed to be funny. I guess he must like numbers? I can imagine this is where humor comes to die. "What seems to be the problem?" "He collapsed." I explain again. "Something is wrong." "Walk this way and I'll run a few tests." I barely hold in my laugh wondering if I too should be waddling. Kay notices and gives me "the glare." He knows me too well. We reach a stark white room with a bunch of fancy equipment. Kay plops himself down on top of what looks like an examining table without being told. Guess he knows the drill. I watch Dr. Sums fiddle with some of the devices. Turn this and that on. He looks behind Kay's ear and his face lights up. "Oh! A K model! Let me pull up his serial number on the computer." "Sooo.... What's so impressive about him being a K model?" "You don't know? I assume you're the one who bought him." "No, I actually, well...I guess I kind of...inherited him." I don't feel the need to tell him the whole story. "Oh well the K model is actually our first prototype model to go live to the public. Only 25 produced. Hmm hmm hmm. According to our records, all K models were returned back to LCC within the first few years. Reason listed as malfunctions, difficulty raising and various complaints. This is the last K still out. The original models were very difficult to grow. I'm surprised this one looks so mature and is so responsive." I don't say anything, just stare at him blankly. Kay and I exchange a look. He knows I'm getting impatient. Dr. Sums continues talking. "I'm going to run some scans and call in my manager and the team. We might have enough preliminary data to make a diagnosis. It's not everyday we get to work on an ancient jewel like this." "Ancient jewel" I think to myself. He's only about 12 years old. I guess technology years are closer to dog years. I sigh and watch gizmos whirl and lights flash. People come and go and gawk at the "ancient jewel." "Hello, I'm the Director of the engineering section here at LCC. You can call me Josh." He extends a hand for me to shake. "We have some good and bad news." "Great." I think. Nothing ever really good comes from good and bad news. "The good news is that we think we know what is wrong. The bad news is that we don't know if we can fix it." Synthetic "What do you mean you can't fix it?!" I'm on the verge of breakdown from this news. "I said we don't know IF we can fix it. Here, let me show you." I watch josh take a scalpel from a tray. He grabs Kay's arm and slices into his flesh. "HEY!" I cry out, shocked by the scene. "Don't worry. We have already turned off his pain receptors." I look and confirm Kay still sitting idly like he wasn't cut with a sharp object. The stuff coming out of him is thick and mud-like. Josh catches some in a tray and wraps up Kay's cut. He brings the tray up to my nose. "Smell that?" It smells like rotting seaweed. "That is what we think is the problem." "Okay, so he smells like a bad fish market. What's your point?" "You see, the company found out that the original models can have some problems when it comes to longevity. We have made a lot of great strides since then improving upon the bio structures. Being that this is one of the oldest models still functioning we are actually learning a lot from him. It is very exciting for us." He glows at me. "Synpers are made up of both bio and robotic parts. His bio parts making up his flesh, hair and other various organs are made up of trillions of cells just like we are. These special cells allow them to grow and function and repair themselves like our cells would do for us. Without getting into too many technical details, the equipment that creates these cells and tells them what to do is malfunctioning. In short, that smell indicates cells are breaking down when they shouldn't be. Essentially he is rotting from the inside out. I'm sorry, but it looks like there is no simple fix to this problem." I'm stunned into silence. Is he dying on me? Is that bastard dying on me? My eyes are wet. I have to remember to breath. "I do have a bit more good news for you." Josh tries to console upon seeing my reaction. "LCC gave a lifetime trade-in warranty on our K-model. Since you are recognized as the owner, if you want we can have our newest and top of the line O model sent to you by next week!" Now I'm angry. "WHAT?! I DON'T WANT A NEW KAY! I WANT KAAAAYYYY!" I wail out his name. Tears are trickling down my face. Now I really can't breath. I gasp for breath. My chest hurts. What's this feeling? More gasping occurs. "Give us a few minutes." Kay says. Everyone exits the room obediently. Kay is off the table gently rubbing my back and takes me into his embrace. I weep and whimper into his shoulder soaking him with warm tears. A few minutes pass as he lets cry until I can speak again. "I never got to tell you..." I mumble. "I never got to tell you..." "Stupid. I already know. But if it makes you feel better, you can still tell me now." He whispers. "I lo... love YOU!" I burst into more tears. Liquid I didn't even know I possessed finds a way to pour out of me. Water inches its way up and fills the room. I cry for both of us and drown us in tears. "I already know." He whispers. "And I love you too." Josh returns to check on us. I scrape myself together enough to understand what will happen next. "There isn't much time left." He says. "If there is any hope of saving him we will have to send him over to our headquarters in Chicago." * * * * * - Chicago -- LCC Headquarters An old man dressed in a fashionable black Armani suit walks into the lab. He looks misplaced amongst the white walls, florescent lighting, electrical equipment and workers in white lab coats. He pulls up a stool next to Kay who is stretched out on a metal examining table. He lightly brushes his fingers over Kay's cheek. "Hello Kay. I never thought I would see you again. My name is Adam. I created you." He pauses and pats Kay on the leg. "This company is my baby and I think of all the Synpers as my children. It always saddens me to see one of my own pass away." He pauses again contemplating how to go on. "I have to say I was quite surprised by all your test results. It seems that you are highly physically and emotionally developed. We had thought the K model was finally complete enough to be sold to consumers. Unfortunately it turned out that the originals were difficult to make grow. They needed an extreme amount of care, affection and attention and those who are able to afford our products often don't seem to have the time to be able to provide it. Our newest models are designed to need less affection to stimulate their growth but it seems because of this design feature, they lack... Oh sure they function fine. They can do chores and converse, that sort of thing, but somehow they lack something fundamentally human. It was never my intention just to provide the world with lifelike chore oriented robot workers but it seems to be what this company has turned into. Sadly, society today bleak and many do not even have enough love to give their own children let alone the time and energy to properly raise a Synper." Sigh. "How you have turned out is truly in line with my dream that this company was built upon. You are a companion who has become an extension of one person's soul. As much as I would like to be able to have more time with you, it seems you have stumped us. We don't know how to fix the unique problem you seem to be experiencing. I'm afraid you may only have a few hours left now." "I'm not afraid to die." "Oh? Why is that?" "Did you know I was thrown away because I was worthless? The original boy I was given to as a companion, he told his butler get rid of me, throw me in the trash, he didn't care what happened. Instead the butler brought me home and gave me to his son. After I was deemed dissatisfactory to my original owner I felt as worthless as he said I was. To feel unwanted is the worse feeling one can experience. I was just some machine that was broken. I couldn't talk and my movements were sluggish. But that boy...he talked to me and hugged me and played with me. I was completely mute for four years. Can you imagine? Four years... All I could do was following him around like some ugly duckling. I was awkward at best and all other times I was just a shadow. His parents thought it was unhealthy for a boy to befriend and bond with a broken machine. They begged him to at least let them return me to the manufacturer for a small refund or in exchange for a new model. He never gave up on me. That boy... really is the stupidest kid in the world. So you see, I'm not afraid to die because I am so thankful for the time I did have. I am so thankful to have been wanted. It's him I am afraid for. But even though I know it would make him sad and it would be selfish, the only thing I want is him to be by my side in the end." "Son, I'll be by your side in his place then." Adam places his hand on Kay's. * * * * * - Los Angeles - 6 months, 2 weeks, 3 days later I stroll through the cereal aisle in the supermarket and grab a box of Frosted Flakes. It is too much sugar for my tastes now but I like pretending the fluffy, orange mascot is my boyfriend in the mornings when I stare at the box while eating. I take out my grocery list and cross out "cereal". I sigh and write down "rational decision making skills" at the bottom of the list. Wonder what aisle they would stock something like that? I bet Kay would have known. I stuff the pen and paper back into my pocket and head towards checkout. I get home and see the piles of books and papers scattered around. It feels lonely in here ever since they told me Kay died. The feeling can't be helped since I feel lonely everywhere I go now. I decide to plop down on my bed and take a short nap. Doesn't it always seem like right when you start to drift off to sleep something interrupts it? The doorbell shocks me back into reality. I begrudgingly climb out of bed and head towards the door. I rub my eyes. My heart leaps. I'm actually dreaming in my bed right? "KAY!" I gasp. I pull him into the apartment. I run my fingers through his hair and cup his face. I press my lips to his and he grabs me back and holds me in a tight hug. I breathe in the scent of freshly laundered clothes and weep tears of happiness. "Kay." I whisper. "How? I thought you were..." He places a kiss on my forehead. "Took some time but they fixed me." I start moving my hands all over him to check that he is real. I reclaim his lips with mine. He moves in perfect sync with me. I start backpedaling towards my room. I've missed him so much. Clothes come off and skin comes in contact with more skin. I moan as his hands run all over my naked skin. My cock starts aching it's so hard. He's touching everything but that part that wants the most attention. I nudge his hands towards my cock. He slides down my body and engulfs my length into his warm, wet mouth in one motion. I groan with appreciation. He comes back up and digs through my nightstand finding some lube I had purchased. He coats his fingers and starts working my hole as he goes back to sucking me again. He is a little too good at this and it has been too long since I have gotten off. I buck my hips as my seed erupts into his mouth. I grunt and take in air like I'm running a marathon. Kay doesn't stop what he's doing. His actions are keeping me hard even though I just came hard in his mouth. I watch his blonde-brown hair bob up and down through partially closed lids. His ocean blue eyes stare at me as I stare back. He's beautiful. Suddenly all contact stops. I open my lust filled eyes all the way and pout. The show is pretty nice as I watch him slowly run his hand over nice thick cock to coat it with lube. He places himself at my entrance and easily pushes in. A sigh of contentment escapes my lips. He places some of his weight on my chest as he meets my lips again and slowly trusts into me. He goes at a nice steady rhythm to make it last. It feels really good so I just thrust back with mindless abandonment. I'm not known to be patient so he kicks up the pace until I'm finally splashing cum between our bodies. I come down from my high and don't realize it when I fall asleep in his arms. Hours later I wake up with a yawn. I stretch and drape myself over Kay again. "I missed you." I mumble into his chest. He strokes my head. "Me too." He unwraps my limbs from his body and places me on the bed. "Where you going?" I ask. "Nowhere." He grabs his jacket from the floor and hands me a piece of paper from his pocket. "Err...what's this?" "My bill." He smiles. "Umm...you charge for sex now?" I'm clearly confused. "Haha." He laughs mockingly at me. "Actually, that is for my repairs." "Oh." I unfold the piece of paper and convulse in a heart attack. (Or at least I would have if I wasn't in fairly decent shape.) "$15,435!?" I scream. "I'M SENDING YOU BACK!" "They took off all the labor charges so that is just for parts. Plus they're letting you pay in installments after you graduate from college...with interest of course." He explains rationally. "I hate you." I give him my best "death glare." "Welcome back you zombie." He chuckles, gives me a gleaming thousand watt smile that makes me melt and places a soft kiss on my lips. "I love you too."