3 comments/ 22255 views/ 0 favorites Sleep By: talimenios You stumble into the room a little more off balance than you probably should be. After all you haven't had that much to drink. Making your way over to the bed you strip off your shirt then kick off your shoes and stare at the bathroom door debating whether or not you want to shower. There's a knock on the door and you glance that way but make no move to answer it. When the knocking doesn't stop you make your way over and peek out the peephole. Recognizing the distorted face on the other side of the tiny piece of glass you open the door and look around the room trying to remember what you had been doing a minute ago. "You look lost." "Nah just trying to remember what I was doing." "Shower?" "Yeah that's it. Can't decide if I need one or not." "You might as well wait until after to take a shower." "After? After what?" He doesn't answer and just leans down to kiss you pulling you closer by your belt loops. You give in completely and just kiss him back your hands going to his hips. He pushes gently leading you towards the bed and you just go. When your knees connect with the edge of the bed you bend them, flopping down on the bed and he follows, his body weight pressing into you. He moves off of you and you squirm your way up so you're completely on the bed. The voice in the back of your head tells you this is wrong and you should say no but looking up into his eyes you forget why it is you're supposed to say no. You start to say something but are instantly quieted by his lips on yours. You try not to give in completely still remembering you're supposed to say no though you're pretty sure it's a futile attempt. When he covers you completely, his body weight pinning you to the bed you give up and give in. He kisses you thoroughly; his tongue searching your mouth almost demanding and you just let it. He recognizes your beginning submission and smiles ever so slightly knowing that he is winning. As his hands make their way up your sides and over your chest you squirm a little at the slight tickling sensation. Pulling his mouth away from yours he kisses all along your jaw line then makes his way down your neck. You tip your head back allowing him more access and feel him smile against your skin. When he bites down where neck meets shoulder you whimper and grip his sides. That's when he gets serious. Grabbing your wrists he raises your arms above your head and holds them there looking down at you. His eyes are filled with lust and something else. Possession? You aren't sure but it sends shivers down your spine. He leans down to bite at your shoulder again and you buck up into him. He snarls at you and you whimper, biting your lip and feeling the sharp pain of teeth breaking skin. This is when it really begins. Closing your eyes tightly you try to keep your breathing steady while holding back the whimpers threatening to escape. It's no longer a game. It's serious now. You know the rules and you play by the rules or you're punished and that's the last thing you want. After all you want this. You need this. You don't remember when it was decided that you did but it doesn't matter. You're brought back from your thoughts by his fingers at your lips. Opening your mouth you accept them and your eyes open recognizing the bitter taste. He grins as you suck hungrily at the fingers tasting your own blood. Pulling the fingers from your mouth he lets go of your wrists working his way down your body to strip off the rest of your clothes. Slowly stripping you naked, he takes time to run his hands over your skin as it is bared. You close your eyes and just breathe as feelings of anticipation begin to pique your senses. You jump a little when he touches your face and lift your head as the blindfold is put in place. Letting your eyes relax you're thankful for not having to squeeze them shut anymore but also wary of what is to come next. It's different every time and the unexpectedness does little more than add to the underlying fear that makes it so real. The fear is what's important. He runs his fingers over your lips, silently contemplating whether or not to gag you. You say nothing but silently pray he doesn't. You don't need it tonight. He slips two fingers into your mouth again and you suck hungrily, thankful for the decision. The fingers don't stay there long and are soon slipping from your mouth to trail over your chin and down your neck increasing pressure as they go. When they press against your throat you swallow hard trying to keep calm as you find it harder to draw in breath. Your whole body tenses and as bright colors start to appear behind your eyes the fingers let up their hold and you take a deep shuddering breath. You can almost feel him smile and it helps relax a little, though not too much. You listen intently, trying desperately to get a sense of what he is doing and where he is. You've almost convinced yourself that he's left the room when his hands are on your thighs. You jump slightly and he chuckles, deep, deeper than his voice should be. You tense again as the leather straps are wrapped tightly around your thighs and buckled into place. He takes his time with them, making sure the straps are tight and at the same time pressing his fingers into your thigh muscles. You bite your lip knowing what comes next and just wait. His fingers touch your forearm ever so gently and it sends goose bumps up and down your arms. The gentleness is unfitting and it suits its purpose in setting your nerves on end as your arm is pulled down your side and your knee is bent up so wrist meets thigh. Locking your wrist in place he moves to the other side doing the same thing. You swallow hard and breathe through your nose as your body starts to shake. You never were good at holding back and it always became harder as the anticipation built. He just stands there and you know he's watching you, waiting. You bite your lip hard, hard enough to draw blood and let out a choked sob as you finally relax and the shaking fades away. He moves closer and you can feel him hover over you, feel his breath on you. You resist but can't help arching up toward him, practically begging for his touch. You can almost feel his smile and let out the breath you hadn't meant to be holding when he finally touches you, fingers trailing up over your stomach. You arch your back more as the fingers tease gently over your nipples, alternating back and forth. If you weren't enjoying it so much you might wonder what his other hand was doing though that question is answered when you feel cold wetness teasing at your entrance. You subconsciously pull away and he becomes more insistent pressing a thick finger at your opening until it slips inside and you choke back a groan. Just as you're starting to warm up to the finger inside you another is roughly slipped inside and you almost choke on your tongue biting your lip again, the blood again seeping into your mouth. He chuckles, and you know he's grinning, reveling in the moment. Taking deep breaths you pull at the straps holding your wrists in place, the leather pressing tighter into your skin. Just as you're getting used to the feeling of the fingers inside you they are removed just as roughly as they were placed there. You roll your head back and forth trying to control the fire inside you. Every feeling you have is centered somewhere between your groin and your ass. You continue to pull at your bindings and suck on your lip, reveling in the liquid heat flowing from the battered skin. Once again he is doing nothing more than watching and you're sure that if something doesn't happen soon you're going to go insane, if you aren't already. The pressure returns only this time instead of warm fingers cold plastic makes its way inside you and you tense making the pressure that much more intense. Once the movement stops you relax the tiny amount you can let yourself. He backs off again and every nerve in your body screams and it fills your head. You're sure you're going deaf and are almost ready to scream out loud when you're shocked into silence as sharp pulses are sent through you starting at the vibrator deep inside. You can do little more than rock against the sensations and hold back the moans and the words on the tip of your tongue. You're holding back; willing yourself to hold on. You're pretty sure you're going to lose it when the pulses stop and you take a sharp breath holding it in. His hands are back on your thighs, kneading the muscles and you breathe out ever so slowly not ready to completely relax just yet. The kneading stops and his hands trail down to remove the vibrator and you almost whimper from the loss, feeling suddenly vacant without it. He leans down and you can feel his breath again, hot against your thighs. You shiver as his lips gently caress the sensitive skin and make their way up. He sucks gently at the skin where thigh meets groin and you squirm, this time biting your tongue. He smoothes his hands just above your aching cock and you arch towards them, wanting his hands on you. He pulls away and continues his way up, pausing to pinch at your nipples causing you to squirm even more. His lips crash into yours and you open your mouth and kiss back hungrily, desperately sucking on his tongue. You open your legs more as he moves above you and between them, never breaking the searing kiss. He is naked and you feel his own erection as he presses his body against you, holding you down. He teases you, grinding his cock against your ass and nipping at your lips. When you turn your head away from his teasing mouth he sinks his teeth into your neck causing you to jerk up against him, eliciting a groan. As punishment he digs his fingers into your hips, holding you down and causing the skin to bruise. You swallow down the whimper and relax again, giving into him. He turns your face back up and kisses you, gentler this time. This time he takes his time tasting, exploring your mouth and you go with it, reveling in the feelings, taking the moment to bring your mind back to what this is all about. At the same time he slowly pushes into you and you relax, taking him in. It's slow and gentle. The opposite of earlier. He takes his time and moves teasingly slow. You're sure you're going to explode and push back against him, desperate for more. He continues and the pace quickens as he too becomes more desperate. The two of you move together as one, no longer two separate minds working against each other. You completely let go and it's over before you can really grasp it. He pulls out and wastes no time in removing your restraints. Pulling the blindfold off he pulls you into his arms as you break down, sobs wrenching through your whole body. He holds you tightly, protecting you until you still, just breathing deeply. He leaves only long enough to get a warm wet washcloth and towel then cleans you up and tucks you tightly under the covers. He doesn't join you and only collects his things before leaving silently. But you wouldn't have heard him anyway, you're already asleep. Finally at rest. Sleep Us praying. Meditating. I get out of bed. It's six in the morning and the sun has not yet risen. The air feels cool and hard to the bone, my body tense and shedding the veils of sleep. He rests, still, his head reclined on a mass of pillows, his mouth slightly ajar, his chest slowly rising and falling. His face, ensconced in sleep, still betrays an innocence. He is there. I here. He rushes out the door in a flurry. I help him grab the essentials: wallet, phone, car keys. Earlier, I brewed coffee, boiled an egg and made him a sandwich, brought him coffee in bed and awoke him, gently. And later when I arrived with a second cup of coffee, he was already plying his stiff cock and presented it to me as I walked into the room. I take it in my own hands and gradually, faster and faster... "Bad boy. Naughty boy." He explodes all over his torso and on my hands. I lovingly clean it up. We are what is not. He leaves and I am alone. As per usual, stuck in this nebulous no-zone between eternity and the fixed star. The ache I feel deep in my belly pains me with a kind of grief for the day I inevitably will forfeit. There is a grand orchestra playing in my ears and I can hear the tin cans rattling, the fan vibrating, the sirens and engines and roars of distant machinery. I am encapsulated within myself, afraid of the music I mistake for noise, afraid of the day holding possibilities, afraid of the vision in the mirror. I wear myself down by my fear, whittling away until I get to the core dreaded terror of the unknown. All is black. We are both metallic. At some point I call her. She comes as I whisper her name. First gypsy, then priestess-whore, then vampire-witch with a cackle that would rattle the bones of the dead. And that hair, sweeping like rain across the horizon, black and silky and wavy like the sea. She hungers for me. For being me. For fucking me. Her hunger leads to a tryst and her glamours seek to feed her. There is so much pleasure in sex. We have an agreement, I sign my soul to the devil once again and writhe in an agony betwixt myself. Lightning shatters. Somehow I awake from the lurid dream in a new state of awareness. My fear is an invisible restraint tying me to the last vestige of my self-destruction. I have eyes unravelled, the invisible sight is like a sun unto itself. I rise to the occasion. Sunlight warms the skin like a lover's touch. There would be no courage if there was no fear. Course twine broken from the deadman's noose. And each day is a delight in the eyes of the Devil. I eat, I drink, I fuck. Therefore I am. With new resilience, the mingling of light and shadow give me over to myself and the lover I know is even more drunk on my blood. Tomorrow is today. The deep-seated pain is crystallizing in my awareness. Rising to the surface, bubbling forth and oozing; a bad chemical reaction. Evacuate the necessary evils. Spotlight on glowing skin, meteors falling on broken sky, mirrors pointed at poisoned objects. There is a process at work here. Excruciating yet mandatory. I am paying penance. There is a break that feels liberating. An escaping from an old shedding skin. Darkness is a diffuse glow now. Colours circle round, luminescent stars intermingle. A perfection of spirit (within body) requires change. Ever renewing. Ever rejoicing. Us praying. Meditating. When we meet again, he collapses into my arms. His eyes caress me, eyelashes envelope me. I am ensconced in his amore. Heaven escapes only the most benign of humans. In touch there is the angels and their trumpets celebrating. There are daemons aching for a piece of flesh. Our auras meld. Divine carnality. My heart is a prison of fear and a well of ardour. Revelations lead to profound liberation. Robust declarations of love and voluptuous pleasures are explored in one unending kiss. And all the years of suffering and self-torture are undone in the split second our bodies come together. I know a peace that can be found even in the deep darkness of the abyss that lies inside me. And happiness finds me even in the quietest of moments, even in the densest of days. I gaze at the lover before me. I find god within the beast. And we fly. Falling.