0 comments/ 7633 views/ 1 favorites Sense and Sensuality By: alexcarr I felt right about it I really did. It had taken a long time and a lot of self examining to admit that indeed I had homosexual tendencies. But it took my now, live -in partner Bob, to make me feel comfortable about bonding with another male. It was almost as though he could read my mind better than I could, but he was trained in social studies which I guess, helped. He is indeed a lovely guy and I am so glad I met him at the bowling club. And what an introduction that was. He'd been watching me bowling for a little while I'd noticed and eventually, I guess noticing that I had noticed him staring, he came over to me and apologised. I accepted his apology gladly because straight away I was attracted to him big time. When he whispered he loved the way I moved ass when I bowled I felt somewhat embarrassed. This was the first time I had been chatted up by a guy in such a way that said he fancied me. I thought about it. I wanted not to push him away. I wanted to encourage him, yes that was it. I opted to bypass me inhibitions, admit I liked the guy and even that I wouldn't mind being intimate with him. I decided to smile at him and offer an encouraging word saying that I like to please. "What's you name? he asked. I told him it was Alex and he told me his; "just plain Bob, and you would please me more if you let me take you out for dinner later and then to my place. How's that, Alex?" He was giving me that audacious smile again which I found hard to resist. He was lovely and my heart fluttered one to the dozen. He looked me up and down and looked for all the world he wanted to ravish me there and then. All at once I knew I was about to come out in the most delightful way, with Bob to guide me and I was thinking, how lucky I am. Leaving the bowls club I went home and gave myself a real good soaking in the tub. I usually shower but I wanted to be spotlessly clean to give Bob the best impression . He looked a neat clean guy and I didn't want to put him off me by smelling bad. Going through my mind were all sorts of wonderful fantasies and imaginings of how it would be with Bob. How would we first touch each other, who would make the first move and so on.? The ice would need to be broken to lure us into a brand new relationship and for me, a first timer. I'd had it up to here with seedy casuals. I had the impression that Bob was well versed in that, he seemed to have all the confidence in the world when he approached me and I definitely felt I was taking the feminine roll which suited me perfectly. If the truth be known I had experimented dressing in girls clothes and liked what I saw in the mirror, but what confused me is I was never interested in girls real time. But playing with myself, using various items to experiment with I had a lot of fun gradually working a cucumber into myself given lots of lubrication. It was difficult at first but I had the inclination to do it, just to see how it felt. I soon found I was getting a good erection and knew that accepting something going inside me like that probably meant that I was inclined to take the female stance. I can't believe I did all those things and laugh about the cucumber. All that led to browsing the internet and finding various anal items to thrill me; which I sent for and had a wonderful time buggering myself in front of a full length mirror, placed on it's side so I could get a perfect viewing of what I thought was a scrumptious ass. I remember how thrilling it was the first time I pushed an anal vibrator inside. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the thrill of its deep slow rime massage and briskly wanked myself into a wonderful climax . I knew then I was definitely gay and yearned to find a similar partner with whom I could safely indulge. In desperation I had thought about hanging around public toilets and the like but that seemed vile to me and I was worried about contamination with someone unclean . So I opted to buy the latest Japanese anal dildo which for all the world looked like a real time erect penis, the appearance matched the skin tone right up to the blue vein running down the middle and a beautifully arranged foreskin to stretch back. Plastic or not it gave the feel of something live and, putting it first into my mouth it is wonderful what imagination can do. It was also attached to a tube like structure representing a pair of male balls. When doing oral sex one just had to squeeze the balls and out would squirt whatever fluid you'd full it with. That was nice and I spent ages simply sucking and fantasising that this was the real thing and it was good to use inside too, simply pressing a button would make it grow inside to give one an ultimate deep thrilling sensation. But of course as good as it was, as much as I enjoyed playtime with it, at the end of the day it wasn't real and I started to yearn for the real thing. And that is when Bob came into the picture. The other problem about using 'toys' means that there is no emotion there and everything one does to enhance the sexual mode is predicable, unlike when you are sharing a sexual experience with a real life partner. But I guess sex toys and the like serve a purpose to dull the urgency for sex All I crave for now is my first emotional and physical sexual experience with Bob who is a real turn on. Whether it is the way he talks or something else I am not yet quite sure, but I guess I will soon find out. Roll on this evening. Evening comes and I meet Bob at the trains station. He tells me to join him in his super Audi car and immediately praises me for my very impressive appearance, saying I look a million dollars. Then, just before he turned on the ignition key he added; "can't wait to strip you' and stroked my thigh. Just that touch made me feel I belonged to the guy already, even though we had not yet fucked or anything like that. I knew that was imminent and just a question of time. I wanted it to be so right for both of us. Quite frankly I could have done without the dinner he insisted I share with him, but I needed to be patient . And anyway I guess dining together would be the best way to break the ice and get to know each other properly. I was thinking the calm before the storm. I don't know why but the calm was sharing dinner with him and having mutual conversation. And the storm would follow later when we got back to his place. My heart pumped twice normal as he guided me into this flash restaurant and invited me to have whatever I wanted from the menu. We both went for Italian. Bob said already we had something in common, our choice from the menu. Soft music quietly played and our table was in a private area where we could talk freely without the fear of being overheard. It was just as well because we were both about to divulge in some very earthy secrets about our past. I told him all about my teenage curiosities and what I did in the privacy of my bedroom and again, when he confessed to a few things too we discovered that we had a lot more in common as well as our choice for food. I felt so comfortable with Bob from the start. He said he liked me very much but wanted an ongoing relationship, not just a quick 'flash in the pan' he said and I laughed. "Let's just give each other time to chill, get to know each other and take it from there. I will not take umbrage if you decide not to carry on. I mean that goes both ways, but I do feel something for you already so in my reckoning that seems most unlikely Alex." We finished our meal and already I felt I had known him for ages. He wanted to make certain I was not for just a casual . He said he had had so many bad experiences with guys who said they wanted a commitment but then discovered, because all they wanted was sex as soon as we they were alone together - whether in a car, in a public toilet or hidden in the bushes. "They say they are for real but I have discovered that one can tell from the body language and the look in the eyes that all they want is s quickie and, because it is done just to relieve their lust ,it usually hurts without hardly any preparation or foreplay and I am left with a very sore passage for days after. That is when I realised I was not destined to play the female role. That okay with you Alex?." "Perfect" I replied. I consoled him by telling him that is exactly what happened to me. I met this guy on the internet and we exchanged pictures. I guess when he kept asking for more intimate pictures I could have guessed that he wanted just sex and quick gratification but I was innocent then. We met and he took me to his car which had blackened rear windows. He literally raped me after a quick feel and some oral, he did it twice, once from the front and the second bare backed across the back seat which actually made me bleed. All he could say was I was good fuck -he'd had his satisfaction and didn't I know it - shooting his sticky cum all over my rear. Then he just gave me a tissue and said he had to be on his way. It was that bad I could hardly walk and all he did was to laugh calling me bandy legs. "It was horrible Bob it really was, if it was had been shared emotionally it would be different, and I guess it has made me scared in trying to find a real relationship." "Poor Alex, at least I can relate to you, both of us having similar experiences. With us it is going to be perfect, you will see, Do you want to come home to my place now Alex?" "I would like that Bob. I would like that very much.". Already I was warmed to him and all my bad memories dissolved. Bob had such a calm and wonderful disposition and driving home with him, sitting next to him in the passenger seat I placed my head on his shoulder and felt completely attached.. Home and in the comfort of his lovely flat he asked whether I would like the TV or just some music, adding that he liked the classics if that was okay. Yet another thing we had in common, This seemed too good to be true. He offered me some sherry which, yes we both liked and said that would help break the ice. I joked saying I don't like it with ice and he laughed and came right back at me: "What do you like it with then?" and the look in his eyes said it all. But he had a sense of humour which meant a lot and talking about our likes and disliked any inhibitions were quickly dispensed. "For me Alex; I simply love to build a relationship we both know we want -simply removing all our clothes and standing close to each other. Not touching but just feeling the heat and excitement building in our bodies. If it is to be something more we will soon know it and then will be the time for body and mind exploration. Would you go with that Alex" He smiled so warmly I felt how could I resist and answered his question by way of first removing my shirt and then everything else after, the last item being my boxer shorts. Bob did likewise. .We then just stood there facing each other with mutually admiring looks and from that moment I just knew he was for me, he was divine, slender yet well built with strong muscles and perfect thighs. Without a word he prompted me to swing around, he wished to see ( his words) if I looked as good at the back as at the front and when I did, when I did a couple of twirls and faced him again, his face was calm yet flushed and he announced that I was simply perfect - which built my confidence dramatically "Now we just stand awhile in silence and feel our bodies respond" he added, and we did. It was wonderful and I was on a completely new learning curve in as much as it felt really sexy, being with Bob like that. Just looking deep into each others eyes, then closing simultaneously and feeling the heat of our bodies, so close yet not touching . Then he asked if he would like for us to kiss. I had never done that with a guy before and quite frankly never imagined I could ever do that, yet with Bob I wanted that. When I felt his lips so softly touch mine it was easy to close my eyes and feel the tenderness of his lips begin to gently mould mine. The kiss lasted a long time and by the time it was finished we were both very much on heat. Again. Looking down he smiled and complimented me on my stance, as he put it - and I did the same. It was almost like he read my mind because, moving my hand downwards he nodded his head to whisper: "no, not yet. But we can touch each other elsewhere and discover the areas we both most like to be spoilt and touched." All this was equally endearing as it was sexual. Bob was teaching me some eastern fundamentals in the art of foreplay "This is so very nice, so very different. It is a different ball game to anything I have done before Bob." And I meant it. "Not too hasty now, the ball game comes later" he grinned. (That sense of humour again) I laughed with him until his finger tips touched my lower spine and then I stopped because of the wonderful so soothing sensuality. I felt a warmth never experienced before of another touching me. It was sort of like being out there in the severe cold, coming home and jumping under the duvet with a warm hot water bottle. I told Bob how I felt as his finger tips - instead of lightly scratching , changed to slow evocative circular motions and he so sweetly replied "later you will have your very own 'water bottle' to warm you completely inside and out. He continued to spoil me with those slow caresses and I wanted him to touch me there, because I was so very ready. "All in good time, Alex." I discovered he loved me to tease his nipples, slightly pinching them too. It seemed almost he was teasing me but it was all part of the learning phase and so the constant touching, the stroking of everywhere except the most intimate parts, continued and I felt like it was a dream and I was floating aimlessly into space - my body feeling so warm and wanting and very, very loving of this new guy in my life . He helped me to simultaneously caress him like he did me and all the time, the way he responded to different touches, the more I discovered about the way he liked to be touched and where. It was all in the touch, the sounds and body responses. I discovered the most sensual touch was when he smoothed his fingers in the area each side of my scrotum and then down between my ass cheeks. That is when I really craved for his full touch everywhere. "Now Alex, let us just lay on my bed shall we?, let us learn just to lay there facing each other but not touching save those growing pulsations which seem to have a mind of their own, brought on by the sheer love and ecstasy of what we are about. And of course the lust to be complete with each other which is the ultimate reward. Something that will; be so much the better because of what we do now. "For I feel you are touching me, without touching me; simply by the growth and uprising of what we are soon to gratify. The touch of your erection meeting mine. Feel it Alex, do you feel the utter magic as our beings, our cocks touch head. It seems they have a mind of their own and we are so concentrated in the wonderful sensations we are receiving of each other. "Feel them touch now, Alex, isn't it so nice, feel them throb as they touch and tease ,so good and so lovely, the feel of yours and mine beautifully in cohesion and now I feel the need to link and initiate our new relationship in other ways and now our cocks have touched, that's the opening of our need to relieve the lust and the craving and I need and want to suck you as much as I know you do me . "So we can initiate that now Alex. Let us really breath in the sweet smell of sex and the taste of honey, but remember, nice and slow does it, there will be ample time later to let ourselves go." "Suck me now Bob" I craved feeling him begin to touch me there, his fingers circling and squeezing my stem, teasing down the foreskin and revealing the head of my throbbing orifice and licking like it was a cherry to be tasted and sampled. And as we found a suitable position he made it easy me to access him there, so we could both mutually enjoy the thrill, the scent and the taste of sweet, sweet oral manipulations and I felt so fine that first time I tasted him, and felt it so beautifully moving in my mouth, as I felt him suck me more, feeling the utter joy of that, of being sucked and enjoyed like he was me, his head bobbing joyfully up and down as he took my length further and further into his mouth and I saw that he was deep throating me. It felt so good. I knew I must do the same. And anyway I wanted to. I closed my eyes, took a very deep breath and went for it, not hand touching this time, just finding it with my mouth. I felt it actually entering my throat and the sounds Bob made were so special. I sucked it right in to the girth and now my eyes were closed and I was full of him in my mouth and in my throat and he too was the same. Then it was impossible to suck because the whole girth filled the opening of my throat, it was fully immersed and I managed to hold my breath and experience the full joy of pure unadulterated cock . It was earthy and pungent - it was the new taste of cock I had not known and I liked very much. I felt as it was a lodged there that soon it would fill me beneath and that would be the ultimate experience in our wonderful new relationship, when we would at last enjoy the magic and benefits of the fuck. I wanted that now. I was ready for it, It was as if I was wet there like a woman is wet when she is ready. "Please ,please now?" I pleaded. " I need and want you now and even though I had come away I tasted the taste of cock still there my throat and the sweet scent of it in my nostrils, now I wanted it inside me. I was so ready I was. "Please, please, Bob?" "Turn over" he said and I felt his cock stiffen, I waited for the feel of it saunter between my cheeks, waiting for the feel of it starting to approach my special place for it to lodge and fuck me deep inside. But even now he teased me with just the touch of its head there, rimming and rolling and then his finger staring to rim me, and then his face between my cheeks. I knew then he wanted to taste me there too, all the stretching there and the feel of his tongue rolling and rolling around its rim. Even then, still he was waiting, he said he wanted to enjoy me in every conceivable way and right now he was fully concentrated and emerged enjoying the contours of my hind. It was wonderful and I was thinking just how much more can our lust take. I was so craving for it, the way he was sucking me up and rolling my as cheeks between his face, teasing, kneading and lightly nudging which made me flare up and demand his fuck! "That is better Alex" he yelled and the next thing at last he was there, deep inside me and it all happened so very quickly because I was so ready for him.. But even then he took his time to fuck me, to relish me by taking me in different stances.. He really went to it hammer and tongue doggy fashion, he said my ass was made for fucking and where had I been all his life. He paused inside me, letting us both enjoy the throbbing of cock in ass. I helped work him inside me, rolling around and feeling the wonderful different sensations inside. The joy of being with Bob I knew would last and last.. He fucked me sound and when he'd done he was still sucking up the residue of the perfect climax. He murmured he had lots of ideas a for us - he'd like to dress me in just sheer silken underwear and spoil me crazy. But for the present it was time to move in. We had made it together and our relationship grew. Sense and Sensuality "Sense and Sensuality, or Jane Austen's Tears" 1 To say "It started innocently enough" would be wrong. There was nothing innocent about what we were planning, what we were doing. The texts with just a hint of double-entendre. The links to pictures and essays we sent to each other. No, it wasn't innocent. We knew what we were doing, and we liked it. We liked the sneaking around (even though our partners knew full well the gist of what we were doing). We liked the excitement of knowing that someone wanted to this, that, or that other thing to us. Or that they were thinking of us in that way when they were by themselves or even with their partner. It was... a nice change from the usual. Well, for me, anyways. Our texts were never overt, never crude, never trite. No "What are you wearing?" or "What would you do to me if I was there right now?" It was assumed that if and when it happened, it would happen. We'd hint at things. We'd call each other to remember past dalliances and then play those memories in our mind, a smile on our lips and an extra beat in our hearts. It was all quite sensible. Jane Austen would be proud. We tried to keep that sensibility during our dinner, with less success. We tried to ignore what we both knew we wanted, but we couldn't. Small talk devolved into gazes, grins, and blushing. Nervous, clammy hands rested against each others and began to warm up. A foot caressed a calf. A finger caressed a wrist, maybe digging a nail into the skin, following by a biting of a lower lip. Our bodies trembled ever so slightly at each other's touch, anticipating more, wanting more, wanting to throw off this pretense and take each other right there, on the table, in public, and to hell with anyone who saw and their reactions. We tried. We really tried. The teasing continued in the ride to the hotel, arms being scratched, hands on thighs then between them. An earlobe is nibbled on at a stoplight. A trembling sigh leaving a throat. Speeding through a red light and not giving a damn, we just need to get into the room and actually touch each other, really touch each other and explore each other once again, find what was home to our fingers and mouths and other body parts we're not willing to say or touch because we're trying so hard to be sensible even though God knows it's a lost cause at this point. We arrive at the hotel and check in. We grab the key card from the front desk clerk before he gets a chance to put it in that little while envelope and walk brusquely to the elevator. We stand before the metal doors, two sets of eyes on the lighted display, watching the numbers change from five, to four, to oh my GOD WHY WE SHOULD JUST TAKE THE STAIRS to G, then grinning slightly as the doors finally open. About bloody time. Jane Austen would be rolling her eyes at us now. Our hands find each others as we wait inside the small metal box. Clammy and warming up. It's going to happen. It's finally going to happen again. I squeeze your hand, you squeeze back, hard. I feel electricity shoot through my body. You want this so much. I've wanted this for so long, but to actually feel your urgency makes me feel my feet leave the ground. The doors open and we search for our room. You fumble with the key just a little before I take your hand and slowly guide the plastic card into the slot. We pull it out and hear the satisfying 'click' of the lock disengaging. The key disappears inside your pocket and we enter the room. Finally. Just the two of us. Alone. Sweet, blessed privacy. As the door closes our hands reach for each other, pull each other close and kiss. You tilt your head to the side and grab my face, eager to taste my lips. Yours are as I remember them, as is your tongue. Once timid and unsure, it seeks mine out and assaults it with surprising fervor. I sink into your embrace running my hands through your hair. We take turns with our hunger, biting each other's lips or tongue, clutching at the other's clothes, skin or hair. We gasp as lips or teeth press against a neck, as hands pull hair, as throats rumble with growls. We stumble blindly towards the bed, fall upon it, and continue our lustful attacks on each other. By this time, Jane would be shaking her head. Briefly, we stop kissing to catch our breath. "What do you want to do?" I ask. You grin, and look down at my pants, the outline of my erection showing through. You stroke the length of it and look up at me, biting your lip. "I want to hurt you." You say, and then squeeze me, shaft and all. I jump, not expecting this—you were never like this when we were together. "And I want to hurt this." You see my eyes widen and you chuckle. "Frightened?" you say. I catch my breath, my heart thudding loudly in my head and throat. "A.. a little. I've never let you... or anyone do anything to that before." You smile gently and rub my cock gently. "If you're good, then you can fuck me." "I thought that was a given." I say, a bit taken aback. Your smile widens. "Oh please, Andy. You should know by now that I have standards when it comes to this sort of thing. Besides," you move your lips to my neck, "I have complete faith in your ability to please me." Then a bite, and you chuckle against my skin as you feel my cock stiffen against your hand. As I gasp, I pull your hair, trying to get you to release your grip on my skin. It takes a while (and you do make a couple of delightful sounds as I tug again and again on your hair) but eventually you do relent. You look at me and lick your lips, going in for another kiss. "Wait." I say, pressing my finger against your lips. Your mouth swallows my finger and begins to suck on it. Your eyes taunt me, saying "What? What is it you want, little man?" "Ngh. Fine, but if I get to fuck you, I get to fuck you the way I want to fuck you." You slide my finger out of your mouth. "And how's that, then?" Again, I reach for your hair and pull it back, hard. Now it's my turn to grin at your gasp. I drag my nails down your exposed neck, pressing in against your throat. The palm of my hand presses against your trachea, softly, slowly. Not enough to actually choke you, just enough to alarm you and make it difficult for you to breathe. "When I fuck you, I get to hurt you, too. So much that you cry out." I lean in, tug on your hair and smile at your grimace. "I've only heard you gasp. Never heard you cry out. I'm going to enjoy making that happen. I'm going to enjoy hearing how much you've changed." I release your neck. Kiss you passionately and feel you return the passion immediately. Jane Austen weeps. "Well then," you say. "Let's get started." 2 Being naked, tied to a bed spread-eagle before you has always been a dream of mine. Being completely at your mercy, discovering how devilish and deviant you are with your favourite tools, seeing your eyes widen at my reactions, hearing your breath go shallow and deep as you hear me cry out. I'd imagine myself getting off at your pleasure, at being your canvas, stretched out before you. I'd imagine it would be wonderful. In the abstract, in the imagination, it is. In reality, it's terrifying. It's been said to never say "I'm up for anything" with a sadist, because what they think is fun might not be your idea of fun. I've just remembered that now. You lay beside me, fully clothed. So not fair. Your nails gently trace along my chest sending shivers down my spine and making me arch my back. You smile, and bite your bottom lip as you let your fingers move precariously to my shaved pubic area. "I'm going to have so much fun with this." You say. You curl your fingers around my fully erect cock and stroke it, nails sliding up and down the shaft. I grunt in surpise at the sensation, struggle feebly against my bonds, and then you slap it. Hard. No warning. As I cry out I wonder if you think I'm a wuss for not being able to take the pain, that I should have just screamed inside my head instead of letting out a sharp bark of pain. I'm comparing myself to others, and that's never good. I should stop. "You okay?" you ask, stroking me softly, trading in the pain you gave me for a brief respite of pleasure. I respond with something like "Nnnnguh-huh." "Good. Now, don't move. Moving will make things worse, and I don't think you want me to make things worse." You bring your fingers together and slowly slide them down to the base of the shaft, and then even more slowly, digging them into my cock's flesh, slide them up my skin. The pain is horribly intense, more than anything I've ever experienced. I reflexively pull against my bonds, but do not move my hips. I don't know how, but I don't move away. My yell is more than a bark, though. It's a full growl that ends with me panting, gasping for air. "Impressive," you chuckle, gently rubbing the skin, easing the pain out. I barely hear you over my heartbeat. "Let's try that again." This time you really dig your nails in, drawing up lines of fire. I can't stop myself. I yell out, not bothering to try to silence it. I feel your mouth on mine, partially silencing my scream as it passes to your mouth. You move slightly and then bite down on my bottom lip, eliciting another scream. My cock stiffens at this combined assault—both hands and lips—and I know you're loving this. Knowing this, my cock throbs in your hand, glad to be pleasing you. So glad I'm so good. You release your twin grip and lick my lips, gasping for air. Oh god I taste blood. You bit my lip so hard that you broke the skin. I look up at you and see you licking your redder than normal lips, that evil grin on your face. "Oh, you're fun." You say. "You make all the nice noises." You draw out the word 'nice' in a deep throaty voice. Nnniiiiiiiice. You crawl overtop of me, looking down at me as you lower your crotch against mine. I feel the wetness of your pants on my dick. You grind against me, shuddering. "I wonder how those noises would sound with my pussy on your lips. I don't know what to say. What do you say to something like that. "Hey, I want to hurt your cock till you scream into my pussy?" "Um. 'kay?" I manage a breathless "Nugh. Mm. Yes." My eyes are still closed. My mind is still reeling from everything that has been happening. You hurt me and I took it. You were aroused by my pain, and are giving me a chance to give you direct pleasure. I did good. I did good. I hear the rustle of you removing your pants. The gentle clink of the belt buckle. Then I feel the blood rush back into my arms as you untie and gently massage them. "Now," you say, giving my arm a gentle kiss. "I've released your arms to make this easier for you. I want your hands on my body at all times. Failure to do so will upset me," and you swat at my cock, making me jump. "And we don't want that, do we?" "N... no." You slap the underside of my dick, catching my balls with them. My cry is louder, filled with pain, and tears escape my eyes. My chest rises and falls quickly, recovering from the attack. "Call me Mistress." You say, stroking my balls. "Just this once." Your fingers are soothing, and the pain is soon forgotten. Not for long, I know, but for now, it's a blessed dull throb. "No, Mistress." I say. You turn around and place yourselves on all fours, presenting your shaven self to me. The heady smell of you fills my nostrils and I'm in heaven because I know I've pleased you enough to make you wet. Obediently, remembering your instructions, I place my hands on your asscheeks and hold them there. "Now," you say. "Do your duty. Eat your Mistress' pussy and scream for me." Eagerly I spread your lips and sink my tongue in deep, pressing my face against you. Immediately my face is slick with your wetness. You gasp, and then I feel wetness around my cock. Sweet, holy wetness as you begin to suck it. Slowly. Teasingly. Your tongue swirls about my head, making me shudder and clench every part of my body, but I never stop caressing inside you with my tongue. My tongue curls, the tip inside you, tasting you. I spread your cheeks wide and press in deeper, intoxicated by your scent. This bliss is wonderful. Being inside you on both ends. This is not what I expected. I expected Pain. No longer are your lips pressed against my shaft, but your teeth. Biting as you slide up, I grunt inside you, digging my fingertips—not my nails, that would be bad—into your skin. You thankfully stop before you reach the head, instead going back down to the shaft and beginning again, harder this time. I want to grip the bed, to steady myself, but that would be... that would be much worse than this. I don't know how. I don't think I could deal with CBT toys, I'm already in rough shape. So again my fingertips dig in and I release a growl into your cunt. I work through it. Ignore it, I tell myself. Give her what she wants. Flatten your tongue and As my tongue leaves you it caresses your clit and I hear you "Mph." against me. With a loud slurp and pop you take my dick out of your mouth. "No fair," you say. "I'm not supposed to cry out yet." "Didn't hear anything, Mistress." I say, straightening my tongue so I may resume fucking you with it. More pain as you take my cock in your mouth and bite down at the base of the shaft. Your hand, once caressing my balls, now begin to squeeze them tightly. It's more than I can bear. The passion, the anger, the lust of your actions make me cry out, my lips against yours, in an inarticulate yell. You shudder at that and buck your pussy against me. Another bite. Dragging it up. I growl a "Ggggrraaaah!" against you and you press yourself against my face. The pain is too much. I need to do something. I don't know if I can go You squeeze my balls so hard I see starbursts in front of my eyes. "HHaaaaah!" I say, my mouth leaving you. I need to do something. I need to stop you. I'm sorry. I brush my tongue against your clit again, and you grunt around my dick. You release it and are about to say something—admonish me, no doubt—but before you say anything I flick my tongue across your sensitive bud and you shiver. Again, and you press yourself against me and again I'm enveloped in your scent and you're probably mad at me but I don't care I can only hope this distracts you enough to save my poor little cock from your evil mouth. I rub the flatness of my tongue against you and feel your face on my leg. Panting, trying to say something, but only being able to get out "G..h. W...h". I continue to lap at your clit and you bite the inside of my leg. That's fine. I can take that. Just stay away from my dick for now. Let it heal. I'm holding you steady because you're shaking at every caress now, my arm pressing down on the small of your back. Fluid runs into my face and I don't care if I drown in it. I alternate between sucking on your clit and licking it and you alternate from biting my leg and biting harder on my leg. Now I feel nails. It's as if you're trying to refuse the pleasure I'm giving you, transferring it as pain onto me. We continue this for god know how long. We both know that it feels awesome. You grip my penis with your hand and begin to stroke it, still biting into my leg. I slide a finger inside you, cover it with your juices and slowly ease it into your ass. Gods, how warm and tight it is in there. I slowly begin to fuck your ass with my finger, and you move in rhythm with it, eagerly meeting it with every stroke. I continue my assault on your clit, spinning my tongue around it, flicking it, licking it while fucking your ass. My dick leaves your mouth and I feel your whole body start to shudder and then I feel a warm rush of fluid on my face as you come. You still don't cry out. Just gasp and grunt and clench your cunt as you do so. You collapse atop of me, still shaking. You grab my shaft again and start to masturbate me but I ask you, "Please, no." You move yourself away from my mouth and now lay beside me, half undressed. So still not fair. You stop actively jerking me off and gently stroke it instead. You kiss my calf. "Why not?" "Because," I say, still gathering my breath from the intensity of the past half hour. "I still get to fuck you, remember." You give my calf a little nibble and begin untying my legs from the bedframe. "I remember." You say. "But you won't get me to cry out." I smile and pull you towards me. I kiss you deeply. I can taste my cock on your tongue, and you can taste your juice on mine. "I think I will." I say. I get up from beside you and roll you over until you're on your belly. I reach under your shirt and drag my nails down your skin, making you hiss through your teeth. I then kiss the red lines I drew, licking your delicious skin as I do so. Again, another set of scratches and another hiss followed by a happy "hmmmm." You nestle into the bed, a pleased expression on your face. I slide my hands around, cup your breasts and give your nipples a small and playful pinch. Another gasp, another happy sigh. I smile creeps upon my lips. This is nothing. This isn't even foreplay. I kiss the back of your neck with a small nip and then roll you back over to take off your shirt. Finally. Naked and glorious before me. I lean in and lick your nipple, circling around it like I did your clit a few minutes ago. I grab the other one and pinch it hard with my fingers. Your gasp is louder this time, and your body shakes, but again comes that satisfied sigh. I gently bite down on your breast, taking the whole nipple—areola and all—in my mouth. I press the tip to the roof of my mouth with my tongue, stroke it with it's slick roughness. You grunt and grab my head, digging your nails into my scalp, trying to pull me away. I fight back, and wrapping my arm around your waist, holding your squirming body close as you fight to break free. Knowing that I need to distract you, my other hand reaches between your legs, which you reflexively clamp shut. Not taking no for an answer, I force my hand between them and find you still wet. A pinch on your inner thigh is all it takes for me to get full access to your lovely cunt. Two fingers begin to slide in and out of you rapidly. I curl my fingers so that as they slide inside you they pinch and slide along your clit, and your struggles abide as waves of pleasure fill your body. This is the you I remember, the gasping for air, the shuddering, the loudly whispered "Oh god" making it's way through other unintelligible utterances. This is the you from before. From when we were together. When we would fuck in my basement, when we fucked at the Briars. I remember this. But I want more. I manipulate your clit, slap your cunt and make you come again with my fingers and mouth. The sounds you make are wonderful, but not enough. It's not enough that I make you come, but that I make you cry out for me. That I hear the lovely beast within release herself at my rough touch. Without giving you a chance to recover, I flip you over and pull your hips towards me so that your pussy swallows my cock. We both sigh as I enter you. I slide my hands up and down your back, loving the warmth and feel of your skin beneath me, loving the fact that I'm inside you once again, and you press against me, eager to feel myself inside you. We begin to fuck, slowly at first, enjoying the sensation of slowly easing into you and pulling out, into you, then pulling out. You breathe in every time I pull out, and then breathe out when I re-enter. Over and over again, filling you, then voiding you, teasing you. Every time I enter I thrust hard against you, every time I leave it's slow, sweet and leaves you feeling empty. "Please," you whisper. "Fuck me. Please." I smile. That's close. I don't think I've had you ask to be fucked before. It's a start. "Not quite yet." I say, pulling out one last time. Sense and Sensuality Another sigh, this one sadder than the others. "Please." You say again, right before I smack your ass with my hand. You jump, and then slump your shoulders, immediately assuming the position. Head down, ass up. Such a lovely ass. I tell you that. You say nothing. I smack it again, harder. And again. And for good measure, I slap your pussy. You groan in ecstacy. "I told you you had a lovely ass." I say, slapping between your legs. "What do you say?" "Th.. thank you." You say quietly. Too quietly for my taste. Another slap between your legs—did you move them further apart? Hm. "Louder." "Thank you." You say, obeying me. I realize that's a nice statement—obeying me. I decide to push my luck. Another slap, wet, and hard. I feel you jump. "Thank you, what?" You turn your head slowly towards me. Very slowly. Through heavy lidded eyes and a devilish smile you say "Thank you, Sir." I shrug. That'll have to do. Baby steps. I continue to alternate between spanking your ass and pussy and each time you jump, squirm, and gasp. But not once do you cry out. Fine. You want to be difficult. I can be difficult. I leave the bed and go to my toybag. As I rummage through it I look up and see you looking at me. "Eyes front, girl!" I yell. Instead of whipping your face back like I said, you smile and slowly retrun to starting at the headboard. So that's how it's going to be. I find what I was looking for and come back to you, putting it on. I reach forward and grab your hair. "What was that you just did?" I growl into your ear. You shiver at my growl, but your voice remains steady. "I did as you said, Sir." Your eyes never leave the headboard. "Eyes front." In response to your not-quite-insubordination I bite your neck. "GOD!" you gasp. "NNGH." "You're being a bit of a smartass, girl." I say, tugging your hair back. "Not fun." My other hand goes to your throat and you feel gentle stroking, accompanied with... pricks of pain? You try to look and see what's going on but I have your head held fast. My hand slides up and down your throat, and little lines of pain explode all over your skin. "I bought a nice new toy, girl." I say. "Here." I remove my hand from your neck and show it to you. A simple leather glove on one side, but the other has rows of tiny sharp spikes running down each finger, and a pentragram of spikes in the palm. Your eyes widen at this. "You've probably seen these before. Hell, you've probably used them. They're nice for sensation play." I stroke your cheek with a finger, being ever so careful not to mark your skin. "They can also be used for spanking." And I show you. A nice, swift slap on your ass and you grunt with the new pain caused by the spikes. I let go of your hair and look at the five fingered print on your ass. "Niiiiice." "But I've also discovered," I say while putting the other glove on, "Is that they're also good for fucking. You see," I kneel behind you again, carefully take my throbbing, eager cock in my hand, and slide it up and down your slick slit. "I need to hold onto you somehow." I slide myself inside you, and slap my hands onto your shoulders. As I do so I'm rewarded with a loud grunt and some panting breaths. "Are you ready, girl?" I curl my fingers around your neck. "Because this is going to hurt." I begin to fuck you. Not slowly this time, but hard. Every thrust I pull back on your neck, digging the spikes in. Each thrust brings the spikes in deeper and deeper. My dick is sopping wet from your desire, and that just urges me on. You meet my thrusts despite knowing that each one will hurt you more and more. I slide my hands down your chest, making you arch your back. My fingers slide down your breasts, to your nipples and two fingers pinch each one, side by side. Not using the spikes, not yet. I take the time to enjoy your movements. You slide along my dick so easily, so eagerly. When we were younger it didn't feel like this, there wasn't this much... urgency, this much passion when we fucked. I was treating it more like a romantic thing. I can't speak for you. But now this, this is just fucking. This is pain and passion nd pleasure all rolling together into one. This is two people taking and giving at the same time and it's wonderful, if wicked. I move my fingers slightly, and little pins pierce your nipples. I grab them hard as you ride me and as I fuck you. Your moans and gasps grow in length and loudness as we slam against each other. Slick, wet, sweaty flesh slapping over and over in a faster and faster rhythm. Never have we felt something like this, relishing in each other's pain, relishing in the pain given. I keep one hand on your nipple, squeezing, twisting. The other goes to your hair, pulls you back even more. Your back must hurt. I don't know how much, but right now I don't care. I just want one thing. "Come for me, my girl." I say. And you do. As I twist your nipple you let out another "GOD!" I release it, and continue to pump your pussy. I hold onto your hair with both hands, fucking you frantically, my balls slapping against your clit with every thrust. "DAMMIT!" you say, and shudder. Your arms buckle and I let your hair go. You bury your face into the bed and I hear a muffled "FUCK ME!" My pin encrusted hands grab your hips and pull you harder and harder. You scream at the pain of my hands on your hips, scratching back and forth. "GOD, FUCK ME!" That does it. That's all I need. I pull out, let go of your hips and shoot over the small of your back with a loud, triumphant yell. My body feels warm, my feet and fingers tingle. Starbursts behind my eyelids. I manage to move up to you, to collapse beside you, to curl up next to you as we both recover from the experience. We spoon, you grab my arm and wrap it around you, and we both lay there, shivering. We say nothing as we drift off to sleep in each other's arms. END.