0 comments/ 41031 views/ 4 favorites Self Exploration By: tc64 How long have I been bisexual? Good question. For as long as I can remember, my fascination with sex involved both genders. My actual experiences as a youth, however, always involved girls, women, whatever, the female of the species. There was always a part of me that focused on the men when viewing porn. Was I projecting myself into their role, imagining myself as the cock fucking, being sucked, jacked and cumming? Or was there something else? My early experiences were good, and while satisfying, never happened often enough to satisfy my building teenage libido. I knew I was hung better than average. No, I wasn't a porn star in the making, but I had enough confirmation with female partners. Jacking off 4 or 5 times a day wasn't cutting it, but that was the best I could do while in high school, in between the infrequent encounters with the various girls I dated. I knew there was more to sex than Rosie Palmer and her 5 sisters. I knew I had to find it. College changed all that in a few ways. Freedom to jack off whenever I liked was restricted due to having a roommate. I learned to be quicker about it and hide the evidence, which actually led to experimentation with swallowing my own cum. I also had visual access to other guys in the dorm, day & night and in showers. While it was rare to get a "good" peek at someone in the shower, I did get a good idea about the variety of bodies and types out there. From the finely muscled to the fat & slovenly. Black, white, Asian & Latino, hung & not, cut and uncut. Needless to say, my fascination with the male form was given a boost. There was a senior on my hall my freshman year; Steve was his name. Cool guy. We listened to Pink Floyd together, including the old stuff. I really enjoyed the friendship and attention from an older guy. I started to adjust my shower schedule to be closer to his; either leaving as he came in, or coming in as he left. Not so much to take them together, but to get a glimpse at his wonderful cock. Body-wise, he was a stud; muscled, fit, beefy in fact. One flaw, he couldn't get a tan to save his life, but the cock was what I fixated on. I longed to see it hard, but shower-flaccid was the best I got. Even so, it was easily 6 inches long, maybe 5 around, straight and gorgeous. To compare it to mine, which was about 7 long, 6 around and curved up and left, and this is when I'm hard, his had to be much more magnificent when engorged. I needed to see it. Touch it. Talk about being obsessed. Was it love? Nahh, more like sexual curiosity, maybe a slight crush. knowing the taboo involved and not caring. I know he caught me staring once or twice and never beat the shit out of me, so maybe . . . . . but I was scared. Still, we'd hang out, mostly in his room, listening to old Floyd, the Who, vintage rock. I was a struggling guitarist and used to bring mine down and mostly massacred the music, but it was a way to distract me from staring at his ample basket and wondering. Steve had to have known I was curious. Interested was more like it, desperate at times. How could I ever make something happen? Wait for him to make the first move? Get caught staring? Meanwhile, every day was filled with eye-candy to think about as well. The hall I lived on had one of the better showers in the building. By better, I mean it worked more often and it seemed like the guys were a bit cleaner too. I started noticing some new faces one week. OK, not just the faces, but the bodies were phenomenal. I realized that it had to be the soccer players from the first floor coming up for some reason. "Shower's busted down below." explained a Latin hottie. "It's worth a 4 floor climb for a good shower!" I nod back, after glancing at him. A bit slender for my taste but still a lovely example of male athleticism. After our "conversation" I tore back to the room and pulled up the soccer team roster. Yup, Miguel, a sophomore forward from New Mexico. Glancing at the others, I recalled a few using the facilities. There were one or two that I hoped would. Little did I know, but the next day, I got my wish with one. On Fridays, I'm done with classes my lunchtime. I ate a light lunch, then went for a run that took me by the practice fields. I spotted a few of my new shower-mates, out sweating, working, kicking, running . . . . . did I mention sweating? A stray ball was heading my direction so I flashed my left foot at it, trapped and sent it back in one motion, then resumed running, barely breaking stride. "Thank you!" I heard in the distance behind me as I headed back to the dorm. My mind was whirling with lustful thoughts and I needed to surf a little, maybe rub one or two out. As I got in the door to the fourth floor, I saw Steve closing the door to his room with a bag in his hand. I'd forgotten he was heading out of town for the weekend. "Later man, have a great time." I called to him. "You too, don't get into any trouble you can't handle!" he replied with a sly grin. Great advice. My roomie was gone for the weekend too, so I locked the door and fired up the laptop. I logged onto Manhunt, checked my Yahoo mail account and then started surfing X-Tube for jock-related vids, hoping to find something inspiring after my run. I found a few and spent the next 45 minutes idly watching and massaging my crotch, not really going anywhere, jacking-off-wise, but still not a bad thing overall. Finally, I got a whiff of how I smelled and decided to grab a shower before it became permanent, so I grabbed my shower kit, towel and some boxer-briefs and headed down the hall to the empty shower. I took my favorite spot, under the showerhead that had the best pressure and cranked it up. Soon, the room was full of steam as I started scrubbing down. I was covered in shampoo lather when I heard someone come in, but I paid him no attention, just continued my cleansing process. When I was suds-free, I caught a peek of the other guy in the shower and lost my breath for a moment. Freshman All-American Shane Robinson was 2 showerheads away from me, naked, wet and looking good enough to eat. I felt a stirring in my cock, suppressed it and turned the water a little more to the cold side to help out. I swear I caught him glancing, but focused on finishing and toweling off. Rather than put the shorts on, I just wrapped the towel around my waist, low around my waist and made sure my semi-hard cock was clearly visible in the front. I gathered my shower kit and turned to leave. "Hey, nice trap today!" I hear Shane call out. I stopped and turned around to answer. "No problem, hope I didn't look like a wannabe." "Not at all, do you play?" he responded. "Used to, might still can." I told him. Meeting his eyes, then realizing he had turned to face me, I couldn't help but glance downward and again, lost my breath. Here was a GOD, right in front of me. If I could design the perfect man, I would just follow his pattern. Shane was 5'10", 165 lbs (according to the website) and if there was 2% body fat on him, it was only to make him more perfect. Ripped musculature that was textbook anatomy and a dark, trimmed bush around a lightly tanned flaccid cock that hung in front of a gorgeous set of balls. Tree-trunk legs that led down to perfectly shaped feet. I saw nothing about him that wasn't perfect, all in a microsecond's glance. "Enjoy the shower, man!" I called out as I turned away, afraid he'd noticed my glance, wanting to look again, knowing I'd be busted if I did. "Sure thing, see ya later!." Shane replied. "Damn, I wish" I thought to myself. The hall seemed a million miles long as I walked back to my room. When I got safely in the door, I dropped my towel and my cock sprung forward, rock hard. Finally, I had found some inspiration to jack off too. I flipped the laptop open and noticed the Manhunt tab blinking with a message. AASocstud had left me a message about 25 minutes ago. I looked at the note, telling me I had a nice ass, hoping to meet sometime. He was from the same area, same school and all his pics were hidden. I wondered, fantasized, stroked and erupted in a multi-shot burst of cum that covered the desk in front of me. A definite 4-sheeter to clean up. I sent AASocstud a note back asking for an unlock and thanking him for the compliment. Could it be? Nahhhh, I'd never get that lucky. *Comments are welcome as this is going to be continued. While some literary freedom is being used, the basics did happen. *sigh* Self Exploration It was just one of those days that felt like it kept going and going and going and by the end of the day I was ready to just collapse in my bed and sleep for hours but first I needed a shower. I closed the door to my room, put my coat away, slipped off my shoes and started to get undressed. I slipped off my jeans first and then my blouse until I was standing in front of the mirror in just my bra and underwear. I undid the clasp of my bra and threw it with the rest of my clothes as I headed to the bathroom to start my shower I felt that familiar tug at my nipples as they hardened in the cold air. As my nipples hardened I felt that clench deep in my stomach as my juices started flowing. I turned on the shower and let it heat up while I walk back into my room to grab a towel and take off my thong. As I entered my room I stood in front of my mirror for a moment admiring my firm, round breasts, and now hard nipples. Starring at my reflection in the mirror I raised my hands to my neck and slowly let them travel to my shoulders and then over my breasts, I shudder as my warm hands cup my breasts and I take each nipple between my thumb and forefinger and slowly roll them in between before giving them a a tug and letting my hands travel down to my stomach. My hands travel over my torso and down to my hips as I slightly dig my fingers in, pressing, right inside my hip bones. I moan softly and let one hand slide down over my panties as the other travels back up to tug on my nipple. I can feel my wetness through my underwear as my fingers rub my slit and my thumb circles my clit softly pressing down, I let out another moan as I feel my panties become increasingly wetter and give my nipple one last tug before I slide my underwear off, grab my towel, and head off to the shower. Walking down the hall naked I take my time and enjoy the cool air hitting my bouncing breasts, nipples, and throbbing clit. I reach my hand down to tease the growing wetness between my legs as my pussy grows wetter with every step I take. I reach the bathroom, close the door, and drop my towel on the ground before stepping into the warm stream of water. I turn my back to the shower head and tilt my head back as I let the water cascade over my head, down my breasts, and across my stomach trailing off just before it reaches my clit. I'm growing hornier by the second as the water washes over me and it's not long before I once again take my nipples in between my thumb and forefinger and begin rolling them agonizingly slow, teasing myself, and letting the pleasure build within me. I reach for the bottle of soap and pour a little in my hands and rub them together before continuing my assault on my nipples. I close my eyes as I tug harder and harder on each nipple and moan softly as my fingernails dig in biting my soft and now slippery breasts. I can't ignore my throbbing clit and the wetness between my legs that I know isn't just because of the water washing over me. I can feel my breathing quickening as my hands slide easily over my stomach and my thumb finds my clit and begins slowly circling. I moan once again as I begin applying more pressure to my exposed clit, my pussy is throbbing, begging for me to touch it. I position the shower head just so and lay down in the bathtub with my legs spread open wide so I have perfect access to my wet pussy and the water is flowing over my clit. I cannot position myself fast enough as my hand travels between my legs and I easily slide one finger into my dripping pussy, I can instantly feel the wetness come from inside me and covering my thighs as I slowly begin to finger myself. As I slowly draw my finger in and out of my pussy I once again begin teasing my nipples and clit and close my eyes as the pleasure starts to wash over me. I easily insert a second finger into my pussy and begin moving my fingers in and out faster and faster as my breathing picks up. I slide down the tub farther so water is now easily flowing down my clit, across my pussy, and teasing my asshole. As the water hits my puckered hole I draw in my breath and pump my fingers in and out of me faster, my wetness growing with each thrust of my fingers. I curl my fingers up towards my belly button deliciously hitting my g-spot and sending shivers down my body, I feel my nipples harden even more although I didn't think it possible. Slowly I draw my fingers out of my pussy and reach my hand outside the shower to the caddy next to it. I open the bottom drawer and quickly find my waterproof vibrator. I turn around so that I am now on my knees and the shower head is sending warm water down my back, between my butt crack, and over my begging asshole. I spread my legs wider, push out my ass, and grab onto the side of the tub as I turn on my vibrator and begin teasing my clit. I can feel the pressure of an orgasm building the longer the vibrator lingers on my clitoris but I'm not ready to come yet, I have some exploring I want to do. I slide the tip down my dripping wet slit and easily slide it into my throbbing pussy. I grab the side of the tub with both hands as I let the pleasure of the large vibrator inside me come over me before reaching my hand outside the shower once more. After talking to a friend recently I found myself fantasizing about anal sex and the thought of exploring my ass while pleasing myself. One night last week I found myself on my back masturbating with my legs spread wide, I could feel the cool air rushing over my asshole and as my pussy grew wetter a combination of juices and lube trickled down to my virgin hole. I slowly withdrew my fingers from my pussy and let my index finger slowly circle my hole as curiosity got the best of me, lubricating it and teasing it, when I felt I was relaxed enough I applied pressure to my finger until it finally slipped into my tight hole I winched as my puckered hole tried to accommodate my finger tip. I sat there for a while letting my ass get used to the intruder, when I was used to the feeling of having the tip of my finger in my ass I slowly pushed harder until my entire finger was in my ass. I came so hard from fingering my ass that night that I quickly got online and ordered myself some anal beads, a small anal vibrator, and a butt plug. They had just arrived this morning and I was anxious to try one of my new toys out and this shower seemed like the perfect place. Looking at my new toys I nervously selected my pretty pink anal beads because they were the smallest of my new toys and I hadn't had anything in my ass since my finger last week. I decided to place a small amount of lube on the beads before inserting them into my ass to make inserting them easier. I re-positioned myself on my knees and placed my head on the floor of the tub so that my ass was up in the air and my tight hole was exposed. The vibrator in my pussy felt deliciously filling in this position and I tapped on the base of it sending waves of pleasure up into my stomach. I slowly reached around and began massaging my plump ass calming my nerves for what was to come. I let my fingers slowly tease my asshole and once I was thoroughly relaxed I positioned the first small bead at the entrance of my hole. After taking a few deep breaths I pressed firmly on the bead until I felt myself relax and slowly the first bead slid into my ass. The feeling was unlike anything I had ever felt and I could already tell that I would love these beads. Slowly I pushed the beads so that the next one was against my hole, it was slightly larger than the first but smaller than my finger and it slid in easily behind the first. Soon I had fit the first three beads inside me, as I slid the fourth bead into me slowly I could feel my breathing increasing as I knew that the next bead would be much larger than my finger. I reached one hand forward and began massaging my clit trying to relax, by the time I was ready to take the next bead into my ass I was panting from all the different sensations that I was subjecting my body to. I placed my finger on the next bead, closed my eyes, and focused on the vibrating deep in my quivering pussy. I pushed my finger hard against the bead until I felt my hole loosening to accommodate the next bead, I had to push harder against this bead than the previous ones because it was much larger than my finger I was panting when the bead finally slipped into my tight hole and I felt my asshole tightening as it tried to accommodate the large bead. Finally I had gotten all the beads in my ass and my pussy was dripping with juices as my ass got used to the feeling of being stretched and tortured by the beads that were now deep inside me. I loved having my ass full like this and was surprised at the sensations created by the beads that were not present when I had used my finger. I gently tugged on the end of the beads and teased my now slightly sore hole letting them deliciously move around inside me. Once I had all the beads deep in my ass I reached between my legs and slowly pulled out my vibrator, and I slid it back making sure to push it towards the back of my pussy so with each thrust it was hitting the beads that were now deep in my tight hole. The feeling was like nothing I had ever experienced and I felt my orgasm building as I thrust my vibrator in and out faster and faster until I felt that familiar pull in my stomach. I slammed my vibrator deep in my pussy, reached my hand back towards my ass and slowly pulled the beads out, before I even got the second bead out my orgasm hit and it increased with each bead that I pulled out, my pussy quivering around the vibrator deep within me and my asshole tightening with each wave of pleasure that hit. As amazing as the beads felt slipping in past my tight hole they felt even betting being pulled out as the beads slid along the inside of my ass before slowly popping out of my quivering hole. Once I had pulled the beads out I felt my asshole slowly puckering back up as my orgasm subsided I was already longing to have my ass full once more. I pulled my vibrator from my dripping pussy and could see my cum covering my toy. I placed it on the floor next to the beads and let the water wash my juices off as I laid in the shower, completely spent from that orgasm. I closed my eyes and let the water pour over me as I fantasized about testing the limits of my ass hole with my vibrator and butt plug later on in the week. I couldn't wait to have my ass filled once more and my hole stretched around my new toys. Self Exploration Ch. 02 The downtown bar scene was pretty good that night. I drank my share, danced with a half-dozen girls, any of which would have probably come home with me for some horizontal dancing, but somehow my focus wasn't really on them. After midnight, I left one bar and went to this upstairs place that had pool tables, because, as we all know, you play your best pool when you're just a little bit drunk, right? A couple of my friends were already there so I hung out with them and worked in a couple of partners games, holding the table for 4 rounds, not bad for continuing to pound beers down with no food other than popcorn for most of the night. After whipping up on yet another team of hopeless frat boys, I felt nature calling in the worst way, yes, my back teeth were floating, my eyes were getting yellow, I had to piss like Secretariat and the bathroom at the back of the bar was my destination and to get there, I cut through two groups of guys, not even paying attention to who was in them. In the door and bypassing the urinals, I stepped into a stall, unzipped the Levis and cut loose, only now able to breathe with all the pressure from my bladder being released and the rest of my internal organs had room to function again. Yes, I had to piss, badly. Remember the scene in "Austin Powers"? Yeah, that's about it and I was so intent, I barely heard the door open and someone else enter. I finished after what seemed hours and stepped out of the stall, tucking my shirt in and zipping up, and caught one of the frat boys staring with a sly grin on his face. Too buzzed to catch on, I shuffled to the sink to wash my hands. "Feel better after that flood?" I heard behind me. "Second best feeling, I always say." I replied. "Yeah, I know what you mean, nothing like letting it flow." He said back. At this point, I was getting a bit weirded out at the direction this conversation was taking. After all, watersports were really not my thing. I glanced back in the mirror as I dried my hands to see him actually staring at my ass brazenly, so I took a moment to size him up. About 5'8", close-cropped medium blonde hair, a little fuzz under his chin, steel grey eyes and a lithe frame inside the Polo shirt and khaki cargo shorts. He was wearing Rainbow sandals and had no tanlines on his feet, indicating a lot of time going barefoot, a guy after my own heart really. All this in a microsecond glance while he openly ogled my ass. "Something I can help you with? Maybe a lesson in pool?" I teased him. "I was distracted that last game, I'm really much better than that." he replied. "Oh? Do you play any other stick and ball games too?" "I know a few others, played my share of of of b b baseball and softball." He stuttered. I had to say, that struck me as cute. I decided to press my newfound advantage. "So what brought you into the same bathroom as me tonight? Looking for a rematch? You coulda just put your quarters on the table for the next game." I said. He eased forward and stared down at my crotch. "I'm thinking of another game right now that I'd like to try." And he pulled 4 quarters out of his pocket and laid them on the shelf next to the sink. I leaned back against the stainless steel and reached out with my left hand and flipped the deadbolt on the door. He reached out with both hands and started massaging up my thighs, ending together in the middle and roughly manipulating my cock and balls through the layers of fabric. Not that I minded and despite the blood alcohol level I had, I could feel a definite reaction to his efforts. Suddenly, I heard the door attempting to open and a voice cursing outside. The deadbolt lock prevented what would have been an unfortunate discovery, thankfully, then the sound of knocking. "Open up man, I need to take a piss!" from through the door. "Dude, you DO NOT want to be in here right now!" my new friend replied. This, of course was man code for "I'm taking a massive dump right now and it would burn your eyes out!". Actually, this was a very respectful thing to do for your fellow man. Besides, there was another bathroom on the other side of the bar, so all was not lost for Mr. Gotta-Pee. I relaxed a bit as I could hear him shuffle off and then my frat boy started his groping again and by now, blood flow to my extremities was in full swing. He grabbed my cock through my shorts and leaned forward, opening his mouth and tried to inhale the head through the cloth. I must've squirmed a bit at the intense feeling his assault was causing and his other hand wrapped around to my ass and pulled me tighter to his face. I could feel him mouthing the length of my cock and knew I needed to get my shorts down and damn fast! I reached with my hands to my waistband and unbuttoned my shorts. While I did, he straightened up a bit and slid his cargo shorts off, revealing his greek-issue boxer shorts with ATO in a cute little design all over. The front was tenting out and I could tell with just a little tug, that his cock would easily poke through the fly. He must have read my mind because he reached down and pulled his cock through and started stroking it, but his eyes were fixed on my briefs as I slipped them down and released my straining cock into view. I leaned back against the sink again and idly started stroking while he stared. He mindlessly did the same and I took a moment to examine his "goods". A blunt head, wide slit, with a slight flare going into a straight shaft with heavy surface veins. As he stroked, the skin at the top of the shaft moved and it looked to me like he was uncircumsized. He was probably between 5 and 6 inches long, but through the fly it was difficult to tell for sure. A different cock from mine, for sure, but then, aren't they all different? "Mmmmmmm, you've got a beautiful piece of meat!" he cooed, eyes fixed on my gently stroking hand. Yeah, I've heard that before from chicks, just before they give it a few token tugs and then demand I fuck them silly. This boy had other plans and I had every intention of letting him do as he liked, while we had the chance in this locked bar bathroom. As I stroked, clear fluid leaked from the head and dripped slowly to the floor. I knew I was turned on by the scene and this cock-hungry frat boy in front of me and was anxious to get it rolling again. "You gonna stare or what?" I challenged him. "Or what." he answered and dropped to his knees again. Mouth opening, tongue flicking out, catching the drooling precum and coating my cockhead with his saliva; the sensations sent thrills up my spine and my cock actually jumped off his tongue, then slapped back down. He opened his lips wider and engulfed the head, circling the flared glans with a firm pressure, generating a suction and causing more twitching. My balls had been drawn up slightly and now dropped as I relaxed and let him minister to the object of his lust. I could see him working his own cock below and I have to confess, the sight of another guy jacking off is fucking hot to me, but to have the same guy giving me an oral workout as well just makes it even hotter. Now, normally, my cock is firmly angled up and curved and having it pulled below the 3:00 mark can be painful, but given his position in front of me and the urgency of his oral efforts, I felt him pulling me down slightly, so I sagged at the knees to allow him better access and he took advantage, diving further down the shaft. I could feel the head reach the back of his throat and the sensations of the sponginess against the firm ring sent more shivers through me. This kid was no beginner, I'm sure he was quite popular in the frat house. The rhythm of his motion up and down the length of my cock was starting to break through the fading stupor of the last few hours drinking. All I could focus on was the exquisite sensations of his lips and tongue dancing across the tightly stretched skin, the coolness of the excess saliva dripping down the underside of my cock, and pooling in the pubic hair covering my balls. As they moved up and back, and at times slapping his chin as he dove deep, soon his chin was moist and sticky with a mixture of sweat, precum and spit. The deeper he dove, the more I could feel the resistance at the back of his throat give and then finally, he pushed all the way down, buried his nose into my pubes and held there, tongue squirming, cheeks billowing and retracting, creating a massaging feeling up and down the entire length of my cock. I felt my knees go weak, his hands grabbed both my ass cheeks to steady me, but he never backed off my cock. I glanced down and saw a puddle of cum below him and knew that he had shot off, probably when he went ball-deep on me; a real oral fixation he must have. Damn, my psychology classes were really coming in handy now! Getting my bearings back, I regained control of my legs and reached out to his shoulders, at which point, he started moving up and down on my cock again. I placed one hand behind his head and gently started applying pressure on his down strokes. His eyes glanced up at me and seemed to encourage what I was doing, so I took my other hand and placed it on the side of his head, curling my fingers around to the back and matching the position with my other hand, started taking control of his head's movements. So this was skull-fucking eh? Kinda liked it and so was my frat boy, who relaxed and let me drive in and out of his mouth at the pace I wanted to. He had cum already and my turn was coming soon, I could feel it building. "You want me to cum?" I asked him "MMmmph, yes" I could hear him say. I pulled him completely off my cock. "What was that?" "Yes, I want you to cum" he answered, drool oozing from his lips and his tongue reaching out for my cockhead. "OK, that's what I wanted to hear, boy" and I slammed back into his open mouth. The rough treatment had his cock back at full mast so I knew he was getting off on it, but it wasn't going to be long before I was ready to pop. "Where do you want it, boy? In your mouth, on your face? Huh?" I taunted him. He reached up with a finger and pointed at his cheek, so I grunted and pulled his head further down, every stroke coming off to the extreme tip and going deep to the base. I could feel him moan every time I buried his nose in my groin and could feel my balls against his chin. Finally, I could feel the building surge from within, the boiling, the churning, my balls drew up and I swear the shaft of my cock expanded and I pulled him away till just the head was inside his mouth and I started to jet cum into his greedy throat, coating his tongue, tonsils and teeth, filling his mouth with shot after shot. I held his throat, keeping him from swallowing until I was through. When I felt like the last spurt was gone, I pulled out and rested the tip on his clenched lips and allowed him to swallow the massive load he had milked from me, but as he did, one more spurt forced it's way out, covering his lips and nostrils. He reached up and scraped the cum off his face and then grabbed his cock with the cum-soaked hand and began pulling desperately. I leaned back and watched as he finished for the second time, adding to the puddles of cum in the floor below him. I zipped up and turned around to wash my hands again. Behind me, I could hear him zipping up as well. I nodded to him as I walked over to the door and flipped the lock open, then slipped out the door, down the hall and back into the noisy bar. A few minutes later, I spotted him rejoin his frat buddies, laughing and joking as if nothing had happened. Gotta say, I acted the same. I ordered another beer and walked over to my friends and got ready for the next game of pool. To be continued, comments and suggestions are welcome, but be warned, this is based on an actual experience. Some literary freedom is necessary, but the basics are as I remember them.