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Room With A View

By: pdxjo



I was living in a seventh floor apartment overlooking the city of Seattle. The living room had a wall of windows that allowed you to look out over downtown, Puget Sound, and the Olympic Mountains. The scene was so incredible I took down the curtains that obscured a portion of the view. I wanted to be able to look out without any of the panorama being blocked - I didnÕt give much thought to anyone looking in from neighboring buildings. Besides, if they wanted to look I wasnÕt ashamed of what they could see at all. And in all fairness, I had done my share of checking out what was going on in the world with a telescope mounted on a tripod at the window.

At the time I was dating a really amazing guy. We had been introduced through a blind date arranged by a mutual friend. Mike was tall, tan and incredibly handsome. Addicted to his daily workouts, his body was in top form. His perfect six-pack of abs was a major turn-on for me. With a weakness for gorgeous men with southern accents, all Mike had to do was utter a few words and I was ready to fall on my back with my legs up in the air.

I had invited Mike over for dinner. He was impressed by the fact I had fairly good cooking skills. Gourmet cooking was not one of his strong points. He volunteered to bring the wine and the entertainment. The usual romp in bed was all the entertainment I needed.

Mike arrived with two bottles of wine and a black video case, which I soon learned was the latest Falcon Video release. We were certainly on the same wavelength when it came to plans for the evening. With dinner in the oven and the timer set, Mike opened a bottle of wine. After pouring two glasses, he handed one to me and we clinked glassware with the toast "to us." A sip of wine was followed by a passionate kiss from Mike. 

Everything about this guy oozed sexuality. His nearly black eyes, his accent, his strong arms and the large piece of hardening man-meat between his hairy legs. Just the smell of him got my juices flowing. In fact, I had difficulty changing the sheets on my bed after heÕd spent the night because I loved being surrounded by the aroma of Mike - and the smell of having sex with him.

Mike suggested we start the movie since dinner was about 40 minutes away. With the combination of several glasses of wine, muscled hunks going at it on the television screen and the fact Mike had been out of town for a few days, clothing started flying every direction. We were soon a tangle of naked limbs and grinding body parts. IÕd never been involved with a guy who was so crazy about my body and enjoyed sex so much. Usually we were able to make it into the bedroom where our sexual escapades were more comfortable on the bed, but not tonight. Seated on the couch, in the glow of the television, Mike was kneeling on the floor between my legs giving my stiff prick and balls a good washing. His big, strong hands cupped my ass cheeks, pulling my crotch into his face. His fingers constantly teased my puckering hole as he massaged the globes of my butt.

When I felt as if I would lose it, I pushed him back onto the floor and, without allowing my cock to escape from his mouth, somehow managed to get into a position where I could return the favor of a fantastic blowjob. We were lost in a fog of sweat, lust and mansex when the timer went off. Both stopping at the same instant, Mike raised his head to ask, "Can dinner wait for a while?"

I laughed and answered, "IÕm eating the only thing IÕm hungry for right now." Running into the kitchen, with my throbbing shaft bouncing in front of me, I pulled dinner out of the oven and shut it off. I returned to the living room to find Mike on the sofa with his wineglass in one hand and eight inches of beautiful man-meat in the other. He was slowly stroking himself and sipping his wine while watching a guy on the video take one cock up his ass and another in his mouth. 

I stepped up onto the couch, straddling MikeÕs beefy body, and squatted to line my prick up with his wine-filled mouth. He opened wide, being careful not to spill any wine from his oral cavity, and I plugged it with my fleshy cork. It was incredible fucking his face with the cold wine sloshing around my cock. He swallowed the wine and I could feel some dribble down my hairless balls. His tongue rushed to catch every drop.

Having set down his glass of wine, MikeÕs hands were again concentrating on my ass. With the ease one of his fingers slid into me, I knew I was ready at any time for a larger, more exciting invader. His hand rested on my waist and began to pull my body to the couch at the same time I began to lower myself onto his glistening shaft. In one smooth, constant movement I lowered myself until I felt his pubic hair tickling my pink hole. My gasp was met with a wet kiss as he began to flex his groin into me. In a very short time we had established a rhythm of my ass pounding down to meet his pulsing probe on the upswing.

Using his powerful legs, Mike lifted us both up and lowered me down onto the floor without slipping out of me, giving him a better position to plunge into me. My legs wrapped around his back, with my feet encouraging his ass each time he pounded my hole. With each movement his shaft rubbed against my prostate sending waves of pleasure throughout my body. His teeth found my hard nipples and began to give each a working over. Then, again without leaving me ass, he was able to flip me over to continue his fucking of me doggie-style. I raised my body up until I was able to grab onto the window ledge and take in the night view of the cityscape below us. As I balanced myself with one hand, I began to stroke my dripping cock with the other. MikeÕs relentless probing of my ass continued. I felt my balls tighten up against my body and begin to churn. My ass muscles began to squeeze and release MikeÕs hot piston. His teeth dug into my shoulder and the combination of pain and pleasure sent me over the edge. I began to squirt hot jism all over the window as my asshole gripped MikeÕs cock and began to milk the juices from it.

Exhausted we made our way to the shower, with dinner cold on the kitchen counter and snowy static coming from the television. 

A few days later, at a local coffee shop, I was reading the new issue of the Seattle Gay News. I could feel my face turning red as I spotted the ad with the boldface headline: To The Guys On The Seventh Floor. The ad read: "Thanks for the great show the other night. When is the next performance?" 

Room With a View



The following is based on a true story told to me by a friend. All characters are over eighteen years old.




The bachelor party had been exactly what Jim had expected so far. The boys had been partying their asses off. Most of them were married already, so this was their hall pass to have as much fun as possible. Jim was just glad to hang out with some good friends that he hadn't seen in a while. With two young boys, free time to hang out with his buddies was in short supply. 

Jim loved talking to all of his old friends and getting caught up what was going on in their lives. He was a great listener because he was genuinely interested in his friends' lives. While the guys were getting drunk and stupid at the pool, he would sit and catch up with each of his friends individually. 

The hotel they were staying in was one of those new trendy ones that caters to twenty-some things who have money to spend and want to party. It was located in Scottsdale, Arizona where the sun was very conducive to creating a pool party atmosphere most of the year. The hotel towers surrounded an extravagant pool area where most of the patrons tanned and drank the day away. The exterior of the towers were entirely glass and if one wanted privacy they had to pull the curtains or else they would be putting on a show for many to see. Truth be told many left the drapes open to explore their more exhibitionist behavioral side, at the hotel. 

The guys had all showered and dressed up after a long day at the pool. They were going down to the hotel bar for a few more drinks and to fraternize with all of the coeds they met earlier before heading out to the club. Jim was going to drive them all in his Suburban since he wasn't drinking. He had just gotten off the phone with his wife and then jumped in the shower. He loved how spacious and luxurious the shower was. It even had two shower heads, and Jim's mind drifted to what kind of fun he and his wife could have had in this shower. Before the kids came around, at least. Since having the boys, their sex life was pretty sparse. Between trying to find time alone, battling constant fatigue, and his wife's body not quite recovering from the rigors of childbirth, they rarely had sex any more.

Just thinking about having sex with her in the shower had caused Jim's cock to swell to a semi-erect state. He finished showering, enjoying the lavish scents of the provided soaps and stepped out and started to dry himself. His mind was completely relaxed as he walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. He glanced out of the window to the neighboring hotel tower and noticed a gorgeous brunette, who also was stepping out of the bathroom wearing just a towel

She smiled when she saw Jim, and her grin lit up the room. She had radiating brown eyes that seemed to shimmer and her smile warmed his soul. She had long brown hair that was darkened with water, and slicked back it reached halfway down her back. The damp towel she was wrapped in molded to her impressive bust and stopped just below her ass. To Jim's eye, she was a goddess wrapped in fluffy cotton.

She couldn't be more than twenty one years old, Jim thought, and the sight of the young beautiful woman sent Jim's mind racing. He remembered when he was in college chasing girls like that all day. That must have been twenty years ago, he thought.

Jim felt his cock stir at the novelty of seeing this gorgeous young woman wearing nothing but a towel only a few feet from himself. And she was definitely checking him out too. When was the last time that someone checked him out?

She was fairly tall, maybe 5'9" he estimated, and she had a very athletic build. Jim would have guessed that she was a runner by how toned her calves were. Her hips flared out very seductively from the towel that hung on breasts that seemed to want to burst free.

They just stood there looking at each other for what felt like an eternity. Suddenly the woman got a different, mischievous look. She glanced around at her empty room, then shrugged her shoulders and grabbed her towel. She looked at Jim and smiled. Then she unhooked her towel and let it drop to the floor, exposing her naked form to him. 

Jim gasped at the sight. His eyes immediately went to her large breasts. They must have been at least C-cups and they stood out magnificently. Oh, how her young body defied gravity. Her nipples were relatively small, but they were very dark in color. Her areolas, on the other hand, were quite large. They were the size of silver dollars. Her tan lines revealed that she had been sunbathing often in a tiny bikini that barely covered her areolas.

Her legs were long and statuesque. They were deeply tanned as well, and he wished that they were wrapped around him. From her tan lines, she must have worn a pretty small bikini. There was a tiny white triangle of skin around her pussy which was a tiny slit surrounded by what looked like the softest skin. 

The sight of this gorgeous young woman flashing herself to Jim was a huge turn-on. He could feel his cock, now completely hard, struggling against the soft fabric of the towel.

She took a few steps toward Jim until she was standing up against the floor to ceiling glass window of her room. He walked up to his window. They were twenty stories above the courtyard, and it felt like only a few feet separated them.

Her beautiful eyes looked down at Jim's towel and then back up at Jim pleadingly.

Jim slowly realized what she wanted. The idea of showing this gorgeous young woman his cock was intoxicating. He wondered for a second if this was considered cheating, but then decided to hell with it. He hooked his thumbs into his towel and dropped it to the ground. 

She nearly gasped as Jim's large cock sprang out from the towel. It was big and beautiful. It stood straight out from his athletic frame. He had groomed pubic hair that was trimmed very short and his cock and balls look smooth and hair-free. His stomach was flat and had the outline of his abs. The hair on his taut belly was also trimmed very close to his skin. His chest was well defined but not overly built up. She drank in the sight. He must have been about twenty years older than her, but he seemed in better shape than lots of the men her own age. 

Her eyes focused on his ring. She was a bit disappointed to see that he was married. She looked him in the eye while pointing to the ring. He responded with a shrug of his broad shoulders. There was something so erotic to her to be standing naked in front of a man that couldn't touch her. She wondered if any of the other rooms were watching her, but she didn't bother to check.

Her eyes went back to his gorgeous cock. It was thick, long, perfectly proportioned, and the thought that she had made him that hard just by standing naked by the window was a huge turn-on. Suddenly, another thought hit her. 

She started to slowly caress her breasts for him. Gently, she traced the circumference of her tits, then her hands slid in and circled her sensitive areolas. Finally, her fingers found her nipples, and she pinched them hard. She threw back her head and took in the feelings of pleasure and pain. If she made him that hard just by being naked, what effect would a little caressing have on him?

Jenny hadn't had what one would call a good sex life. Sure, she dated a bunch of guys, but she didn't get much satisfaction out of it. She felt that men often treated her differently because of her looks. If they weren't intimidated by her, then it seemed as if they got to know her merely for the chance to sleep with her. Unfortunately most of the guys her age that she slept with were pretty pathetic in bed. She even had two guys ejaculate just as they were putting their cocks in her. What a disappointment! She had been left sexually unsatisfied by so many men. Even on this trip with her girlfriends from college, hot young guys kept hitting on them, but their goal seemed to be some empty one night stand. And she was done with that.

Lately she had been so busy at her new job that dating wasn't an option. Even masturbation was rushed. She used to be able to relax with a bottle of wine and her fingers. But now, she was so tired after work that she rarely touched herself. Even when she did try to give herself pleasure, it was a race to orgasm before bed. She never got to take her time anymore, so with this sexy, mature man exhibited to her, her sexual frustrations were magnified even more. Now looking over at this gorgeous older man standing patiently with a cock that she had made rock hard, she finally felt comfortable. She was relishing the opportunity to take her time and give herself the pleasure that she deserved. She had told her friends that she wasn't feeling well and stayed behind while they hit the clubs. The truth was that going to the clubs just didn't sound like fun to her. A quiet relaxing night by herself sounded much more enticing. And now she had this whole luxury suite to herself along with this gorgeous man across the way to play with. 

Jim was staring at her with his mouth wide open. This gorgeous young girl seemed to be caressing her beautiful big breasts just for him. He marveled at how high they hung on her young body. Oh to be young again. They were huge compared to her thin body. He would have given anything to be able to caress them at that moment. Well anything, if he wasn't married. Suddenly a feeling of guilt entered Jim's mind, but he quickly squelched that emotion. 

"It's just like watching porn," he reasoned to himself.

His eyes grew even wider as he watched the girl's hands slip down from her breasts, over her tight stomach and down to her bare vagina. She looked into Jim's eyes and then raised her eyebrows seductively. 

She began to trace the outside of her pussy. Her cute little slit was still closed tight as her arousal hadn't progressed too much. She put one hand on her hip while with her other she used her index finger to slowly and gently tease her slit. Her bald cunt lips still tucked away made her look so innocent and pure.

As she teased her sex, her eyes searched Jim's face for a reaction. At first she could sense shock on his face, but then that emotion melted into a kind of animal lust. Seeing the lust in his eyes sent a fire into her groin. As her finger traced the outline of her freshly shaven vagina, she felt heat rushing into her lips. She could feel them growing under her finger tip. Slowly, like a flower blossoming, her pussy lips emerged as they filled with blood.

Jim felt as if his cock would explode. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so turned on. It must have been some time before the boys were born. His hands hung dumbly by his side as he watched.

She was still teasing her pussy as it slowly woke up. Her lips were now prominently framing her cunt. They were rather plump and hung seductively from her in a way that drove Jim mad. He dreamed of taking them in his mouth one at a time and sucking on them.

She slipped a finger in between her soft lips and rubbed her slit up and down. The sensation sent shock waves up her spine. She relished in the moisture that her finger found. She was staring at Jim's hard cock now, practically drooling. Then her eyes met his. She raised her eyebrows again, then looked back at his cock as she continued to play with her pussy.

Jim looked down at his raging hard-on then back up at the woman. He took his index finger and began to run it the length of his cock. Up and down he teased his member as he watched her do the same to her pussy. Ever so lightly he traced his length from tip to base adding a finger or two as he went, soon he was tracing his member with all of his fingers lightly.

His fingers on his hard cock sent pleasure throughout his muscular body. It felt good to take his time and tease his cock. Since having the boys, it seemed that whenever he wanted to masturbate, he had to jerk off as quickly as possible. It seemed liked he was always racing to cum. Now he was relishing taking his time. 

His other hand slid down to his freshly shaven balls. The soft skin was very sensitive as he cupped and teased his sack. Adding to his excitement was that this gorgeous young woman was pleasuring herself for him and getting off on watching him. All this teasing was intoxicating but also starting to drive him mad. His cock was aching to be stroked.

Finally, he took his hand and wrapped his strong fingers around the girth of his cock. He felt the heat radiating from his tool. He squeezed hard, relishing the feeling of how hard he had become. This caused a drop of his precum to ooze out from his cock head and hang there. He looked up at the girl hungrily as he began to run his fist ever so gently up and down his cock, barely applying any pressure.

She in return took her hand from her pussy and brought it to her lips. She licked her fingers slowly and seductively and then slowly put each one in her mouth and sucked them one at a time. She then brought her now-moistened fingers to her cunt and began to stroke its lips with a bit more force.

Jim took her lead and brought his strong hand to the tip of his cock. He palmed the bead of precum that was oozing out and the slowly dragged it down the length of his member lubricating it. He then began to slowly pump his cock as he watched her watching him.

Now Jenny was heating up. Watching this gorgeous, older man slowly and deliberately stroke his magnificent cock for her was getting her incredibly aroused. It was as if a faucet was turned on in her vagina. Her pussy had suddenly gotten so wet that she could now hear a sloshing sound as she rubbed her pussy lips more vigorously. With her other hand she rubbed her breasts. She traced her big areolas and then pinched her now-hard little nipples. Then she slipped her hand down to the top of her cunt and found her clit.

Her little pleasure button was as hard as a jelly bean. And, as her finger touched it, her whole body shuddered with pleasure. 

Jim stopped stroking as he saw the girl shake with pleasure. Her eyes flipped shut and her whole body seamed to curl as she quivered. Her big, firm breasts jiggled erotically with her mini orgasm. He watched as she slowly opened her eyes and smiled a drunken grin at him.

He began to stroke his cock more deliberately now. He was so turned on, he couldn't think straight. As he jacked off his thick cock, his other hand slipped down to his heavy balls and cupped one, relishing the feeling of the smooth hair on his chapped hand. He focused on her pussy and noticed that moisture had run from her cunt to halfway down her thigh. He moaned loudly and relished the feeling of his hand moving on his slick cock.

She opened her eyes and focused on his big cock and smiled. She noticed a drop of precum was oozing out of his big mushroom head. It hung at the opening of his cock and then dripped slowly off. It hung on a sticky bead of cum for a second before falling to the carpet below.

Her hands were working much more rapidly on her cunt now. She took two fingers and held them up for Jim to see before she reached down and rammed them up her pussy. She curled them up to her G-spot and rubbed it as she thrust them in and out rapidly. Her other hand was now rubbing her hard clit in rough circles. She was swimming in the warm erotic feeling. Out of the corner of her eye she saw someone in the room next door to Jim's watching her, but she didn't care. She was too close to orgasm to care about anything other than the amazing burst of pleasure she was about to feel.

Never in her twenty two years had she been as turned on as she was at this moment. Her pussy was wetter than she had ever felt it. She could feel her juices running down her leg and that made her even more turned on. Watching him masturbate his large cock was intoxicating. She wondered if she would be able to fit such a massive tool in her little pussy. She held up three fingers and then slowly inserted them into her pussy. She could feel a painful stretching of her vagina as it accommodated her digits, but she relished the pain. She imagined it was his big cock stretching her out.

He was about to cum. The sight of her struggling to insert three fingers was too much for him. He stopped masturbating for a second to stave off his orgasm. He decided he couldn't stop the show for her so he brought both hands down to his balls and massaged them for her. He tugged at their skin and then cupped them firmly. He could not keep his eyes off of her sopping pussy. Watching her struggle to squeeze her fingers in was so erotic. She was now sliding all three in and out of her cunt more easily. He smiled at her accomplishment and she returned the grin.

Continuing his show, he slowly wrapped both hands around his cock as if he was gripping a bat. Only his mushroom head stuck out from his grip. God his cock was big, she thought. He squeezed and another big gob of precum oozed out. This time he grabbed it with his thumb and forefinger and rubbed it around his swollen cock head. The slippery sensation was amazing.

Her three fingers were now sliding fairly easily in and out of her cunt. She watch hungrily as his cock oozed more precum. She was on the verge of something she had never felt before. She took her hand out of her now soaked pussy. It was gaping. Her lips were huge and hanging hungrily from her vagina, and everything glistened with her juices that covered both of her thighs as well.

She brought her hand to her mouth and licked her juices from each finger. She did it to give him a show, but she was so turned on now that she relished in the earthy taste of her own cunt. After she finished cleaning her hand, she held up four fingers and flashed Jim a devilish smile. She brought her hand down to her pussy and slowly inched it in. The initial pain subsided almost immediately and she was shocked at how well her little pussy stretched to accommodate all four of her fingers.

He was taken aback by her show. His hand had begun to slowly stroke his cock again unconsciously. He had to cum. There was no turning back. He had held back too long. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back focusing on the pleasure.

She saw this and recognized that he was on the brink of orgasm. She wanted more than anything to watch. She brought the hand that had been thrashing her clit up to her full breasts and squeezed them one at a time. Next she pinched her nipple hard. The pain felt good. Something was happening. She brought her hand back down to her clit and started rubbing it at a feverish pace as her other hand moved in and out of her sloppy cunt. She curled her fingers and reached that spot she loved. 

She saw him open his eyes and distort his face. His balls clenched up against his rod and his cock seemed to swell even more. One hand was rapidly rubbing just the last third of his cock while his other hand cupped one of his balls. His mouth opened and she could see him moan. At the same time, his cock shot a thick, white stream of cum.

That was too much for Jenny to take. She screamed with pleasure as her whole pussy began to convulse. The contractions were so great her hand was shoved out of her vagina. A wave of pleasure rocked her entire body. She suddenly lost all the strength in her legs and she fell to the side onto a couch. She was taken to another world. Her thoughts flew through space from her childhood, to her job, to all of her failed relationships. Suddenly everything was so clear. She lay crumpled on the chair; naked, wet, and completely satisfied for the first time in her life.

Jim slowly opened his eyes and returned from his pleasure abyss. The first thing that he noticed was the girl crumpled on a couch. Her disheveled dark hair covered most of her face. The one thing he could make out was the huge grin on her face. He realized that he too was beaming from ear to ear. The next thing that he noticed was the large splatter of cum on the window as it slowly succumbed to the powers of gravity and slid down the slick surface.




Room With a View



The last thing that he noticed was the women in the room one floor below the girl's clapping and cheering.

He guessed they had put on quite a show.



Room with a View



The dim lighting and musky smell of sex assaulted her senses, as her eyes struggled to adjust to the activity around her. He had been holding her hand in the lobby, but his grasp became a firm grip on her upper arm as he confidently led her forward. Her palms were damp and she tried to subtly wipe them on her dress while keeping pace with his long strides. 

They passed through an octagonal room filled with couches, lounges, and pedestals -- several of which were occupied by passionately embracing couples in various states of undress. A sex swing was in use at one side of the lounge, and a massage table was occupied across the room. Her pulse had begun to keep beat with the Techno music that was playing in the background as they advanced through the maze of lovers. Mounted high around the large space, there were scattered screens playing porn, presumably to encourage the mood through suggestion.

Drawing closer, her breath hitched as she noticed more activity surrounding this central area. No walls contained the space; rather there were eight glass paneled rooms, some of which had deep red curtains drawn, others of which were wide open. In an 18th century themed room to her right, a shapely blonde woman was calling out in the throes of passion as her partner's mouth was buried between her thighs. Through the glass side wall into the room next door, there appeared to be a threesome getting started on top of an office desk in a space filled with dark leather accents. Cinda glanced up at the handsome man that was leading her into this new world, her stomach clenching as she caught his hooded gaze taking in her shallow breaths and wide eyed stare. 

Placing a possessive hand at the small of her back, Luke guided Cinda into an empty room, dimly lit by wall sconces. As he closed the door, Cinda felt a small sense of relief. Had he left the door open, it would have been an invitation for other couples to join. For now, thick velvet curtains were drawn on the three glass paneled sides of the room, creating a private cocoon in which Cinda could gain her confidence. Vents high on the walls allowed the sounds of neighboring activities to filter in, causing a pulse of arousal to go through her, as she felt her core clench in anticipation. It had been too long since she had been with a man, and her body was taking the lead over her brain. The intensity of the situation was so much more than she had anticipated, despite her research. Doubts and uncertainty began to take hold, as she realized that her actions had led her here, however unintentionally. 

Taking a deep breath, Cinda examined the space that was bathed in filtered red light. Dominating the center of the room was a circular platform bed covered in black satin and matching pillows. To the side was a modern red chaise lounge that reminded her of a long tongue. An ornately framed square mirror covered most of the rear wall -- the only one that didn't open up to other rooms, but it still left the feeling of being watched. Swallowing back a wave of dizziness, Cinda didn't allow herself to wonder what was stored in the dark chest in the back corner. 

When she proposed this "tryst" with the frustratingly domineering Luke Lawson, it was fueled by liquid confidence and lust. Her research into the underground elite club scene had hit a dead end, and by pestering the ultra-elite Mr. Lawson for information, she had no idea of the Pandora's Box that she had been opening. Though the sexual tension between them had been mounting, she had never crossed the line with an interview subject and professional contact before. Now it was obvious that she was playing with fire, and she needed to decide if she was going to allow herself to be consumed, or run before getting burned.

Turning to voice her doubts, her breath caught when she met the smoldering gaze of the striking man in front of her. Dark hair framed equally dark eyes that stared back at her like she was about to be devoured. Cinda blushed as she was struck with the desire to bury her hands in the sexy waves of his hair like she had seen the woman do in the other room. She watched as Luke unbuttoned his black shirt, revealing an interesting signet tattoo that seemed to be stamped over his heart. Stopping herself from reaching out to touch it, Cinda wondered what the significance was of that intricate marking. Suddenly, she became aware of him watching her as she stared at his chiseled chest. Smirking, he confidently moved towards her, capturing her mouth with his as he cupped her full breasts under her sundress. All thoughts in Cinda's head scattered as she became consumed by his mouth working hers. His lips were soft as they caressed hers, the kiss deepening as she began to respond with a need she hadn't realized she had. With each stroke of their tongues, Cinda felt the room slip away as she held on to only him. Breaking his mouth from hers, he methodically kissed down her jaw, throat, across her collarbones ... creating a liquid warmth inside Cinda that began to spread outward in waves. Gliding his strong hands down her shoulders, he slipped the straps down, freeing her breasts as the dress pooled down by her feet. Luke's fingers teased her nipples as he found her mouth again, kissing her in a thorough exploration before moving his mouth down to claim her hard peaks. Cinda's limited experience with men up until this point had done nothing to prepare her for the responses of her body and the overwhelming need that was burning through her at his touch.

Cinda moaned as his mouth expertly worked her nipples and his fingers traveled down to caress her clit. Though she had been skeptical, Luke's instructions to not wear any lingerie under her dress had proven beneficial for her. Shyly placing her hands on his broad shoulders for balance, Cinda arched both her back and hips towards him so that she could increase the contact with his skillful mouth and fingers. Her head fell back in a gasp before Luke captured her lips again. His fingers continued to tease, keeping time with his tongue as he walked her backwards until her legs felt the satin covering of the bed.

Laying her back, Luke paused to admire the view of her soft curves before slowly reaching over to draw back the drapes on their right ... and then to their left. His eyes never left hers as he gauged her reaction to the exposure. Cinda felt naked, displayed, and incredibly aroused as she saw the rooms open up beside them. The rational part of her wanted to shield her vulnerabilities from this virile man and others who might be watching, but her hips betrayed her as they began to writhe under Luke's heated stare. Before her thoughts could continue, he swiftly buried his mouth between her thighs, causing her eyes to flutter closed as she groaned loudly. His tongue lapped her up as his fingers probed her wetness and easily slid inside to find her sensitive folds of pleasure. Lost in desire, Cinda realized that her eyes had locked onto the scene of a man and a woman masturbating each other in the room next door as they watched Luke's head dipped down to her core. Being separated by glass walls made it seem less real, less threatening. She boldly watched them and felt her pleasure mount even higher as she saw the effect that she was having on them, as Luke masterfully took over her body and muted her mind. Suddenly, her body reacted in a primal response as her orgasm exploded; causing an exquisite release of the tensions she had been holding inside for too long. She cried out, arching her back and grabbing handfuls of Luke's dark wavy hair as she rode the waves of seemingly endless pleasure. 

As her moans began to subside, Luke gently kissed the inside of both of her thighs before standing to quickly shed the black slacks that his full erection had been straining against. Authoritatively, he flipped her still-trembling body over so that she was on her knees, with her glistening pussy open and ready for him. His swollen cock pulsed as he roughly yanked open the last row of drapes, exposing them to the central room. With a growl, he sank himself deep inside her, causing them both to gasp as her tightness stretched to accommodate him. 

Cinda panted as he sheathed himself fully and deeply inside her, filling her more than she had ever experienced. She was vaguely aware that the curtains had all been opened wide, but her earlier inhibitions seemed to have vanished in the heat of passion. Never had she felt so free and wanton! Always one to be in control of her situations, Cinda was lost to this man and his prowess. Ass up, she reached back to touch herself as she felt her pleasure mounting with each of his thrusts. Luke grabbed her hips firmly as he rode her hard, in a way that felt like he was trying to satisfy a deep need. Her breath began to quicken as she worked her clit and was dimly aware of similar sounds of pleasure coming from their audience. Her insides began to tighten down around his hard cock as she lost herself again, calling out as she felt herself reach higher in a full body release. 

Drained, she collapsed on the bed, eyes shut as she came down from the aftershocks after having come with such intensity. Luke rolled her onto her back as she became aware of his shaft, still rigid and tall, pressing against her hip as he slid her up onto the bed. He crawled up between her legs and caressed his strong hands up the back of her thighs and under her hips as he lifted her damp pussy up to meet his throbbing cock. Opening her eyes in surprise, Cinda felt him slide inside her again, this time more gently. It didn't seem possible that she could take anymore, but as he slowly rolled his hips into her, she felt every delicious inch of him, and let herself be taken over for the third time. 

Moving with a slow precision, Luke thrust himself fully inside her welcoming warmth before withdrawing almost completely from her raised hips. He reached down and lightly flicked her swollen clit, seeming pleased at her sudden intake of breath. She felt his hard length deep inside her once again before his dick pulled out completely. With a low growl, he swiftly raised her hips higher to meet his mouth as he knelt before her. Supported only by her shoulders on the bed, her body continued to respond to his sensual assault as his tongue traced slow, wide circles around the over sensitive pleasure zone. She felt helpless with her legs thrown over his shoulders, but couldn't help submitting completely to this man who had taken over her senses. Reaching back over her head, she grabbed the edge of the mattress to brace herself against his lapping, torturous tongue. Eyes closed, she moaned at the overwhelming sensation of it all. 

As suddenly as he had begun, his mouth stopped as he lowered her hips down to meet his rigid, throbbing cock. Slowly easing into her, Luke's strong, muscular hands slid over her bottom and up her back, lifting her torso up to him, forcing her to ride astride his hips. Sitting on the bed as Cinda's legs wrapped around his back, Luke's hands gripped her ass to guide her pussy up and down his slick dick. Finding herself staring into his tumultuous eyes and considering the secrets they concealed, she reveled in the fullness of him inside her. Having tried to break through his protective façade for weeks with her work, it dazed her to find herself so intimate with this man, who still felt like a stranger to her. Even more bizarre was that she couldn't bring herself to worry over her sudden lack of modesty as she engaged in kinky sex with an associate. It just felt like so much more. 

Enjoying the view and ride, even the slightest move stirred her from deep within. She let her hands explore his broad chest, tracing across the signet and around to his muscular back, letting her nails lightly scratch down his spine. Emboldened by the moan this evoked, Cinda began to move her hips in a deeper rhythm with his, and bent her head to kiss along his masculine jaw line and down the tensed muscles in his neck. 

With a growl, Luke buried his fists in her long brown hair, pulling her head slightly back to take her lips in a commanding kiss. His tongue plunged inside her mouth, allowing her to taste herself on him, a sensation that ignited a new boldness inside of Cinda. Her tongue met his, just as her hips met his, thrust for thrust. Panting with desire, she placed her palms against his chest and gently pushed him back, until he was lying back on the bed staring up at her straddling him, his hard shaft still embedded inside her. 

Brazen with passion, Cinda rose her hips up from his dick, allowing just the tip to remain inside, and paused, searching his face, bathing in the raw sexuality of this powerful man. She arched her back, causing her full breasts to rise up before she swiftly dropped down, burying him to the hilt. Evoking a deep moan of pleasure from him as he reached up to cup her tits, Cinda repeated the slow ascent, followed by a fast fullness deep inside her. She became momentarily distracted as she caught sight of the audience that had been enjoying their heated moments, creating moments of their own with the arousal. Cinda was in full view as she rode this magnificent man, and she couldn't have imagined the pure, unadulterated pleasure that she felt. Her eyes fluttered down and found him regarding her with desire as his hips began to buck beneath her. His rhythm started slow as he rocked her above him, caressing the underside of her breasts as they bounced along with his thrusts. He began to build momentum, and Cinda had no other choice but to ride his heated flesh in time with his needs, allowing him to control her mounting tension, even from below. As his hips reached a frantic pace, Luke reached down to press on her swollen clit. The mere pressure from his fingers was enough to trigger the explosion that had been gathering and building deep inside her. Cinda threw her head back with a scream as her body splintered around him. He buried himself fully inside her warmth, allowing her pleasure to milk his cock in a release that drained him. Reaching up, he clutched her down to his chest, both of them heaving with deep breaths as their bodies melted together. 

Through a haze, Cinda felt Luke envelop her in his strong arms as she lay on his chest. She felt him kiss the top of her head, as she struggled to catch her breath. They were still joined together, though his presence was less demanding as the pulsing faded. The control that he had wielded over her body was a shockingly welcome domination. Never before had she felt so entirely consumed or empowered. Her mind was reeling just as much as her spent body, but she was at ease. With a sigh, Cinda kissed Luke's chest as he lightly rubbed her back. Lifting her head, she met his sated gaze and knew, without a fraction of a doubt, that Luke Lawson was her destiny. 

**Many thanks to Bert_Fegg for his amazing editing prowess**



Room with a View



Ceilia had never had an orgasm.

Oh, she'd had plenty of sex, but had never reached that penultimate, gut wrenching feeling that a climax brought. I was going to be the one that gave it to her. I had a deep-seated desire to hear her sigh out my name on her breath as she slammed over the wall of one. 

Where that desire came from, I have no clue. I just knew I wanted to be the one who pushed her up the side of that wall, the one who single handedly gave her something she had never experienced before.

She was the first woman I'd been with that didn't even know what her body was capable of. After several frustrating times earlier this evening in my apartment, we had decided a break was in order and had dragged ourselves to the pub at the corner of my building.

We were both brooding, nursing drinks that we ordered but didn't really want. I could see Ceilia's tear stained cheeks out of the corner of my eye. Her frustration was still evident, both with me and with herself. This latest time she had literally thrown up her hands and told me to forget it. It just wasn't possible.

However, if I was anything, I was damn persistent. And stubborn. I wasn't going to give up without a fight. I was going to have to be dragged off of her kicking and screaming. For me, it wasn't a matter of if, it was simply when.

Ceilia excused herself to the bathroom and I watched her quietly as she threaded her way through the crowd. She ignored the advances of the few men that were frequenting the bar tonight. 

Jackasses, all of them. 

Usually the men that came here, that weren't gay, had the typical male attitude toward two women being together. All the more for them. They simply were there to try to wrangle their way into a one night threesome. Getting their rocks off on the thought of two women servicing them at one time. Like I said, typical jackasses.

Me?

I had given up on men years before. There was something to be said about having their weight pressing you against something, their hips pistoning their thick, meaty flesh inside of you, don't get me wrong. I had enjoyed the pleasure of a man's company many times over. But I had discovered that I simply preferred the company of women more and had tossed my label of bisexual out of the door without a backward glance.

I nodded and smiled as Ceilia made her way back to where I was seated. 

The tearstains on her face were gone, instead replaced by a faint pink blush. "There's a couple of women in the bathroom."

I snorted and ran a hand through my hair. "Looked around lately Ceilia? That's all there pretty much is here tonight."

She slapped at my arm. "That's not what I meant. It's just..." Her words trailed off and she averted her eyes from me. 

Enlightened, I reached out and turned her face around to me again. "Turned you on, did it?" I questioned, already knowing the answer without a word from her. She nodded though and I spun her fully around to face me. 

Her bare thighs were hot against mine, the heat of her flesh seared through the denim of my jeans. I wiggled my knee, pushed frantically at her legs in an effort to spread them apart to be even closer to her.

The soft fabric of her skirt slid up her thighs as she parted her legs, her breath blowing hot across my cheek as I brought us even closer together. It was a surprise to us both, but I could tell she wanted me now as much as I wanted her.

Surroundings be damned.

Instantly, I decided to use those surroundings to my advantage. "Tell me." I said to her as I slid my hand back and forth against her thigh, scraping my short nails lightly against her skin.

She blushed and nervously laced and unlaced her fingers together. My hand moved further up her thigh, the light fabric of her skirt now brushing against my forearm. "Go on." I encouraged, kissing her pink tinged cheek lightly.

She stammered a few times, stumbling over the words as she tried to get them all out at once. Collecting herself with three deep breaths, she wet her lips and found them finally ready to cooperate. "They didn't even pay attention to me when I walked in. Didn't even hesitate for a second."

"What were they doing?"

"There was a redhead with her back up against the wall. A blonde, just a little shorter than her, was pressed up against her and I could see the blonde's arm moving."

"Did you see anything?"

She shook her head; inhaling sharply when my fingers brushed through the pubic hair low on her abdomen. Tripping over her words again, she inhaled sharply. "No. The blonde was standing right in front of her."

"Did you stop and stare at them?" My eyebrows raised in question when she blushed again. 

"Not until later." She swallowed hard and shifted her hips against the barstool. "I could still hear them though when I went into the stall. They were whispering to each other, but I could hear every word they said because it sounded like the bathrooms are soundproofed. There was no other sound in the room except for them."

"What were they saying to each other?"

She shrugged and I dipped my fingers between her legs, dragging through her soft folds. Her eyes fluttered closed and she swallowed hard again. I slowly dragged my hand away but stopped when her thighs clamped around it.

The silver gray of her eyes were clouded when she opened them again. "The blonde spoke the most. She was explaining in detail what she was doing."

"Which was?" I nudged her thighs with my fingers and they spread for me once again.

"She had two or three fingers inside of her and forcing the redhead's hips in the motion she wanted with her freehand."

"Dexterous. Always handy in a woman."

"I could hear the redhead begging for more and she started moaning loudly when the blonde told her she was going to slide another finger inside of her."

My own finger had worked its way between her folds and flicked gently against Ceilia's clitoris. Her hand gripped tightly to the bar and I smiled smugly. "And?"

"I had finished up by then and decided to hurry as much as I could to allow them some privacy."

"And did you?"

"No."

"You stopped to wash your hands didn't you? Damn hygiene."

We both giggled softly and my finger dipped lower, her grip becoming even tighter on the bar.

"You watched in the mirror, didn't you?"

She smiled shyly and nodded. "The redhead had a leg draped around the hip of the blonde by this point. I swear she had to have all four fingers working inside of her."

"Why's that?"

"With her leg up like that, I could see everything. The blonde fingers were inside of her all the way up to her knuckles. She was describing in intricate detail what she was doing even though the redhead could surely feel it all."

"Sometimes, just feeling isn't enough." I dipped my finger inside of her, smiling as the muscles in her jaw flinched as she struggled to maintain her composure. Her muscles clenched around my finger and Ceilia exhaled slowly as I began pulling my finger toward me. Her frown was met by my devious smile.

"So what happened next?" I asked as my finger sat unmoving as I waited for her answer.

"The redhead came." She paused, waiting for me to continue since she had seemingly concluded her story, but she was going to be sorely disappointed if she thought I was going to settle for that sort of ending.

I stared back at her, waiting. When a faint pout turned down the corners of her mouth, I couldn't help but smile. "You don't really think I'm going to let you off that easy do you?"

She sighed and shifted against my hand. 

"I could see the blonde's hand, could watch every movement she made. I couldn't help but watch. Seeing all of those fingers disappearing into the redhead's body, in and out so easily." Her eyes quickly scanned the bar and she shifted her hips, pushing my finger deep inside of her. The wetness of her muscles against my skin surprised me. She certainly had enjoyed what she saw. As if she could read my mind, her legs parted and I was easily able to slide another finger inside. My nimble fingers curved upward and I wiggled them slightly to her delight.

"Go on." I urged, her description of the events turning me on as much as knowing I was so openly performing a sex act on her in public. Better yet was that no one seemed to care.

"I watched her fingers slow, trailing in and out of the redhead. She kept whispering to her, taunting her with threats of slowing down or even stopping all together. Just to hear the redhead beg."

"But she didn't, did she?"

Ceilia shook her head. "No. She just kept going. The redhead's hips started moving around and the blonde leveraged against her using it to drive her fingers even deeper inside of the redhead. From my vantage point, I could really see everything."

My fingers flicked twice and she paused in her words to inhale sharply. She continued on now without my further encouragement. 

"The redhead was shaved nearly bare between her legs. A thin strip of hair allowed for the perfect viewing access. She whispered something I couldn't hear, but the blonde obviously did. She slowly lowered herself down to her knees and slid her tongue just to the side of that strip of hair."

Ceilia's muscles clamped hungrily around my fingers as I began moving them, tapping against the muscles that were straining against my skin.

I hear a deep voice in my ear, offering encouragement when none was needed. My free arm shot back and I grinned in satisfaction when I felt my elbow connect with soft gut. Piss off, I thought to the man and focused my attention back to Ceilia.

"The blonde saw me out of the corner of her eye and she smiled. Winked at me without wavering her pace while giving her lover pleasure. I blushed in return but couldn't tear my eyes away as she trailed her tongue back down and kissed her partner ever so delicately. Her tongue flicked expertly over the other woman's clit."

Ceilia's breathing intensified as she spoke, her words becoming forced as she tried to maintain her composure. My fingers alternately pressed against her muscles, working them as she spoke.

I could feel the climax near even as her eyes flashed toward me, filled with curiosity. Foreign territory for her, triumphant celebration for me.

"The redhead's hips bucked against her tongue, but the blonde never missed a beat. She kept thrusting her fingers in and out. Faster and faster." Ceilia's voice became nothing more than a hushed whisper now, her focus restricted to the new sensations inside of her. "I've never seen such an unabashed and open display before. It took my breath away."

I leaned forward then, my lips brushing gently against her ear as I whispered to her. "Did she scream when she came?"

The question evoked images that sent Ceilia over the edge. Her muscles milked my fingers and her teeth latched onto the flesh of my shoulder as she buried her head there. It was as if the floodgates had been opened and every frustration she'd ever had to get to this point poured into my hand.

She sighed heavily as the waves ebbed and she began to return to herself. I flicked my stilled fingers and she jumped in shock as her pleasure spiked again.

Delicately, I withdrew my fingers, slowly drawing the tips of both of them over my lips. Hunger reared in her eyes and she launched herself forward to climb into my lap, clamping her lips over mine. Tastes mingled and I groaned inwardly at my own desire shooting to staggering levels.

We parted and I could see her own satisfaction filling her eyes. Smiling, we turned our attention back to the business going on around us. Ceilia tapped my arm to get my attention and I turned my head to see the two females she had been so enamored with by the bathroom. We watched them exit the establishment all but crawling over each other and I leaned toward Ceilia. "So, you never answered me."

"I was a little preoccupied."

"That's an excuse?"

"Yes, she screamed."

I tossed a twenty and nodded at the bartender when she came by, indicating she should keep the change. The noise level was deafening at this point and there was something that I was dying to find out now. I grabbed Ceilia's hand and pulled her behind me, exiting the pub.

"Rachel, what the hell are you doing?"

Ceilia's back contacted sharply with the bricks of the alley wall as I pushed her up against them. "So, we know that you are capable, very well in fact, of having an orgasm."

"What does that have to do with us leav-"

"We also know the redhead is screamer." I whispered, cutting her off.

"Rachel, stop being so cryptic."

Her words died on the wind swirling around us as I swung her leg around my hip and dove inside of her with my fingers. "The question remains Ceilia – are you?"

[end]



Room With A View



Author's note: Please note that everyone involved is of legal age.

The hot torrid sun cast down upon my excited body. I had been left sitting in a lawn chair, pants dragged to my ankles leaving me venerable to the whims of two young women. The sexual torture had been magnificent, but not as good as the lesbian acts they had engaged in while they thought I was too drunk to know.

My cock lay flaccid upon my leg as I recalled the great feeling I had just encountered. A young girl I barely knew had just given me the best blowjob of my life. All the while my sister fingered her protruding pussy as I peaked out and watched the show. They had gone inside to work each other over and finish the job with the toys they had inside.

A thought raced through my mind of how I had started this situation by endlessly flashing my sister. The visions of her watching me shower and get dressed renewed my sense of excitement. What was I doing? The window was around the side of the house and my sister in law never used curtains. I hopped up leaving my shorts behind and headed for the performance of a life time.

I stepped gingerly through the yard avoiding the land mines left behind by the dog. Circling the corner of the house I found myself mostly shielded by the fence. What I perfect place. I would have to come back here again, I thought. I peaked around the corner of the window, careful not to jump out in front and allow myself to be seen. I was happy to see that the show had not yet started.

The two girls were already going though my sisters toys. Picking and choosing their weapons of pleasure. My sister in law picked up a pink faux cock complete with veins and testicles. She quickly popped it into her mouth and sucked on it while her friend half watched and picked a toy for herself. I was surprised to see that my sister in law had several dildos to choose from. They varied in length and shape, some small and thin and one in a strap that pointed the dildo inwards. I was confused as to its purpose. She must really enjoy getting fucked or she truly enjoys masturbation. Either way it was good for me to know. I always wondered why she bared her door later at night, now I knew.

The two girls cleared the rest of the toys off the bed and slinked out of their clothes. My sister helped her friend out of her top, sliding her hands across her large round tanned breasts as she raised her shirt over her head. Her nipples were already hard with anticipation. They were a deep brown color and larger than most I had seen before. My sister in law leaned in to her friend like a professional. With her friend sitting on the bed she flicked her tongue around her teat, teasing her friend as she encircled her nipple and danced over the tiny bumps around it. I leaned in for a better view. Her friend's face started to turn a pleasant shade of red. The pleasure was starting to surge through out her body. It was then that I noticed my sister in law's hand was also preparing her friends pussy for the pink prick.

"Are you ready for a visit from this big cock," she purred to her friend.

"Bring your brothers big cock over here," she replied.

As the two move together I stood stunned at what I had just heard. Their fantasies had extended to include me. I was shocked and exhilarated, but mostly I was excited. My cock leapt to attention. The noticed the heat from the sun was causing me to sweat even more than my excitement. 

My sister gently rubbed the dildo over the clit of her friends shaved pussy. Her baldness was damp and glistening as the dildo teased and taunted her pussy. The friend sighed and moaned with pleasure. She reached for her own breasts and fiddled with her nipples, rolling them between her fingertips. As she lay on the bed sideways her entire body was in view. She wriggled and wiggled as the dildo danced around her pussy. She squirmed her hips so they were directed more towards the window.

I now could see her wet pussy from a slight angle and I watched the symbol of my cock slowly push forwards into the girl's wet pussy. I envisioned myself sliding my cock slowly and methodically into her. It slid in without any resistance. My sister edged it inwards slowly until the entire member was inside. Grabbing the fake balls, my sister in law pushed them into her friend's ass, grinding them against her asshole much to the enjoyment of her friend.

"Oh yeah, that's it, all the way to the top. Make him fuck me. Slowly then speed up and fuck me hard. Then I'll take care of you," growled the friend in a seductively horny way.

My sister obeyed. Slowly the cock slid out of her pussy, glistening and dripping with the girls juices. Slowly it reentered, teasing her pussy as her lips reached out to swallow it whole. My sister in law looked down drawing my attention away from the stock being pumped into her friend. The girl had slid her foot between my sister in law's legs and was using her toes to touch her pussy. Immediately, she opened her legs to grant her friend full and easy access. I watched as the friends toes wriggled and slid along the now protruding lips of her pussy. 

Gently, but purposefully her toes worked on her clit. It became obvious to me that this girl had been experienced in working with her feet. Using her big toe, she stimulated the clit of my sister with great satisfaction. The breathing from both girls took on a much different form, one that I started to match. The experience was having a tremendous effect on my libido. I caught myself reaching and grabbing at my manhood as it stood up eager to be held. 

Slowly, I raised my hand from the base of my cock, circling upwards towards the head, pushing my thumb tight across the rim of my bulbous purple head. A glistening appeared rapidly across the tip of my cock. Oozing my enjoyment of the show I was spying upon. There was enough to cover the entire head and partially down the shaft as I envisioned my cock as the dildo. I pressed downward rhythmically to the hard pumping of the friend on the bed. Reaching for my balls I pulled at them and ground them against my leg, flicking my finger over my asshole, just like the pole I was watching.

The friends toe worked its magic on my sister's pussy lips. It was readily apparent that both girls were getting exactly what they wanted. So was I. The toe split her pussy lips, slowly parting them as the juices overflowed their bounds. Now dripping down her foot, the friend took notice of the building excitement of my sister in law.

As her arousal had elevated, her breathing became short and erratic. Short soft gasps of air escaped her open mouth. Blood rushed to her cheeks as fast as her pleasure. As her toes danced upon her clit she paused her pumping of her friend's pussy. Seemingly unaware, her friend concentrated, like I, upon the look of desperation on my sister's face. Her eyes closed slowly as her friend touched her now rock hard protruding nipple. A much louder harsher gasp drew sharply from inside her. Reaching between her legs she grabbed her friend's foot. She held it still against her exposed vaginal lips. Suddenly, she lowered herself onto her friends toes, plunging her foot deep inside of her wetness.

A look of shock filled both of our faces as she rose herself up only to force her down again onto the friend's foot. As she picked up speed, she resumed her attack on the friend's pussy.

"Here you go baby, get fucked by his big cock. He is gonna fuck you hard. Put it deep inside your pussy, she growled in a guttural tone as she pounded the dildo deep into the girl's pussy.

I was shocked at my sister's aggressiveness, but I liked it. I found myself muttering words of encouragement as I roughly stroked my own cock. Pulses of sensation surged through my body with the start of my ejaculation. The slick clear drops of pre cum had been replaced by an oozing pre ejaculate. It ran down my hand and further served to lubricate my whitening fingers as I gripped my cock tightly.

What seemed impossible was that anything more could happen after this. It seemed that we would all orgasm and it would be finished. That was until I heard the friend make a request. 

"Hey, hold on," she struggled to say. "I need it up my ass too." 

With that said both my sister and I paused in our assaults. Her friend kicked her free leg up onto my sister in laws shoulder. She rolled her hips forward and bent her knee, keeping it inside my sister in laws pussy.

Slowly the wonderful dildo slid out of her pussy until it popped with excitement. I was excited to know that this girl wanted my cock up her ass. I always prefer anal. The dildo appeared so big next to her small brown love button. The head completely covered her anus, dwarfing it a glistening gleam of sexual prowess. My sister continued to ride her friend's foot as she used her up close view to push the cock into her friend's asshole. Slowly and gently she stroked it in and out of her ass. It took only a few moments before her gapping asshole was willing to accept the entire dildo now bouncing in and out of her, forcing her tits to bang against her face.

Her excitement rose quickly as the entire encounter restarted just where it left off. I returned to my stroking now more excited than ever while the girls worked each other over, one riding a foot the other rolled up taking a dildo up the ass as deep as it would go. What a sight to see, the three of us getting off all at the same time at least that was what the neighbor's daughter must have thought. She shocked me as she stood up on the fence support and watched as we all were getting off. She drew my attention when her head popped over the fence. She must not have realized I was there until I snapped my neck up to her. I was still half naked, cock in hand and beating like there was no tomorrow. 

"Oh my Gawd, I did not see you there," she said. "No, really go back to what you were doing"

She stared at me straight in the eyes. Both of us like deer caught in the headlights. We both paused for a few minutes looking at each other, ignorant to our show through the window. She scanned me up and down. Pausing several times to look directly at the purple headed snake I was still gripping tightly. Slowly she stepped back off the fence and started her flight. Her embarrassment was complete as I watched her glance back desperate to see me through the boards. I made no attempt to hide myself.

The idea of her watching me did not harm my erection in the least. I think I was too far gone to really care. I watched as the girl disappeared around the front of her red bricked house. I was brought back to attention by a loud moan from the bedroom. I would need a massage after this as my head snapped back to the fogging window. I had been torn away by my unexpected visitor and had missed the important part of the action.

The dildo was still pounding the friend's ass, harder and deeper than ever. My sister was forcing it into her friend's ass while she rubbed her clit vigorously. Both girls had their teeth gritted, one for the strength to continue this offensive, the other for the searing pleasure engulfing her body. She grabbed her own tit and started licking her nipple. Her entire body was now covered in blush as she could take no more and cried out with gratification. 

"OH YES, HELL YES. THIS IS INCREDIBLE," she shrieked, as the orgasm over took her. 

Convulsing and bucking roughly, the sensation fulfilled her every essence of her being. I could not stand it any longer. My own pleasure surged and raced to escape the confines of my body. Strong tingling sensations coursed throughout my body. Wave after wave of pleasure jolted me, matching my ejaculation. I squeezed my cock and closed my eyes enjoying my second bout of the day. Forcing the skin down as far as I could, allowed the last of my shot to be liberated. The semen had landed all over me. I was not interested where it landed I was only interested in the last vestiges of excitement running through my veins.

Exhausted, I leaned back away from the window and leaved on the fence. Gasping for air, I struggled to control my breathing. Thoughts and emotions raced through my mind as I gently stroked the last of my hardness out of my cock. I tried to wipe the gobs of spunk off my leg hair before it got a chance to dry. I flicked it into the long grass beside me and wiped my hand against the fence. With my attention now coming back into focus I spotted a tuft of hair through the fence. Twisting around, I came face to face with the neighbor again. With a flash of a smile she darted away. This time I laughed at her as she disappeared. At least she enjoyed herself.

The room was now empty and the time had come for me to leave my hide out. What a great spot, I thought, I must use it again. Or even set up my video camera and make myself a good collection. I rounded the house heading back to the deck, flaccid cock, now near death, swinging gently into my leg, still exposed for all to see. I reached for my shorts and thought why bother putting them back on. I plunked myself into my chair and chugged the remainder of my drink. I placed it on the table turning to glace back at the corner. There in the window of the neighbor house was the neighbor peaking out at me. She has seen more that this today, I thought. I sat there and let her watch. I leaned back in the chair and spread my legs allowing her to see my cock. As I smiled I wondered if I could peek into her window some time too. Hmmm I would have to try. 



Room with a View



First of all I'd like to thank Sunny55235 for the great job on editing this story. He offered superb suggestions, with out changing the story. I really appreciate his work and plan on using his talents in the future. Thank You Sunny!

Now, let's get to the story, I hope you enjoy this.

Sarah and John had been married for just a year when John sold his family-owned business and decided to retire; he was 32 and Sarah was 23. With more money than they needed to take care of them for life, they made plans to move to North Carolina where John owned a piece of land on a lake. They built a cozy but elaborate home as John took care of most of the decisions over the phone.

John cherished his newlywed wife, always knowing he would never find a woman quite like her. She had brains and good looks alike. She was only a few inches over five feet and weighed just over a hundred pounds, and her body was petit and well defined. Her long blond hair flowed halfway down her back and her eyes were a sky blue with a hint of hazel. 

Not only did Sarah have the looks, but she was very kinky behind closed doors, turning several of John's fantasies into reality. He was quite the voyeur, enjoying the sight of his wife with other men. It was a rare occurrence, but John was just glad that she enjoyed that type of kinky sex.

When they arrived at the new house, John gave Sarah the grand tour, showing her all the special upgrades he added. When they entered the master bedroom, Sarah was amazed at the sheer size of it. There was a high vaulted ceiling and a king size bed fully framed with black lacquered metal centered on one wall. There were large mirrors on each wall and all the doors were mirrored panels. John opened a small panel and flipped a switch as a large door about six feet off the floor opened and uncovered a large TV. He handed her a remote from the cabinet as she hit the power button. The flat panel lit up as a bed appeared on the screen.

"That's this room, how did … where is the camera?" she held her hand up and tried to trace down the source.

"Behind the mirror, over there." He pointed to a mirror below the television.

"You are so kinky my dear," she gave him a sly smile. "I wonder what that's for?"

"If you like that, you'll love this. Or at least I will." He opened the glass paneled door to the walk in closet and pulled her inside, then shut the door and spun her around. The door was a two way mirror, with a perfect view of the bed. "Now I can watch and they will never know."

"Ok, never mind the kinky part. You are a total pervert." She smacked him on the back and gave him a hug. "But I guess that makes me a pervert as well since I like it too." They both laughed as he opened the door.

After they settled in the new place, Sarah and John were chatting after a night of romantic play. She snuggled next to him on the bed as soft music lightly played through the room.

"When do we get to start a family?" she asked as she played with his curly chest hairs.

"I've been wondering when that would come up again," he placed his hands behind his head, "I guess this is as good a time as any." He stared up at the ceiling trying to hold back his grin.

"Well don't get too excited, it's just our children were talking about." She looked at him as he let out a light giggle. "You shit," she smacked him hard on the chest. "You're just a shit sometimes." She grinned as she pulled his face to hers for a kiss. "I'll make a doctors appointment in the morning, are you really sure about this?"

"I have been sure for a while, but I was waiting for you to ask. I knew it wouldn't be long." He laughed as she pretended to sulk.

Six months later Sarah was at the doctor's office checking her test results. The tests all came back normal, and the doctor tried to explain that the problem could be one of many. He told her she wasn't pregnant yet but they shouldn't try so hard and just take a few months off, let nature take its course.

That weekend John took her out for dinner as they talked about what the doctor had said. They decided to take his advice, just have fun with it. They left the restaurant and stopped at a small dance club to have a few drinks. As the night wore on, Sarah had a few too many as John was getting that kinky feeling. He took his wife out on the dance floor as they swayed to a slow song.

"So … what do you think about flirting around a bit? I've noticed several guys eyeing you all night." He nibbled on her ear and kissed her neck.

"You little devil … so you want to get a little kinky tonight?" she closed her eyes as her body flushed as she thought about the idea.

"I think we need to go someplace where there are more selections, besides, I'd like to try the closet out." His mind was working overtime now. "We could go in separately and you could flirt around and see if someone will take you home, tell them you took a cab or something."

"Oh, you just got it all planned out, and you haven't been thinking about this at all I bet." She placed her hand on the front of his pants a rubbed his stiffened member. "Yeah, I guess you have." She giggled lightly.

They left and went to a club just a few miles from their house. John went in first and found a seat at the bar. Sarah walked in; causing many heads to turn as she walked to the bar. She ordered a Comfort and coke as she sat at the bar a few seats from her husband. It didn't take long before a tall older guy walked up next to her and ordered a beer.

"Hey there, I'm tom … haven't seen you here before." He held out his hand as she smiled, placing her hand in his.

"Just moved here, this is my first night out, I'm Sarah." She smiled again.

John watched and listened as this guy hit on his wife with small talk. They chatted as Sarah had several more drinks and Tom's hands became friendlier. He felt a little more of Sarah as they talked and then asked her to dance, walking hand in hand onto the floor before he caressed Sarah's ass and back as they danced. John's excitement built when Sarah returned the favor and they locked into a deep kiss. John knew he was going to see some action tonight.

When they left the dance floor, Tom guided her to a booth and slipped in next to her. Soon the two were necking as John could only sit and watch. His hands were all over her body as he felt her tits thru her blouse. Then his hands went under the table, causing Sarah to giggle as she opened her legs and gave him access to her pussy. They necked some more as John looked on.

Tom moved from the booth as Sarah slid out and walked toward the ladies room, giving John a wink and smile. He waited a few minuets and followed.

"He's going to take me home soon, I told him you were out of town." She took her husbands hand. "You need to stop and get a few condoms, put them in the nightstand."

He leaned down to her ear and whispered, "Don't use those just because of me." He placed a kiss on her neck."

"Oh John, you are too much. Please just get them for me?" She shook her head as she kissed him on the lips. "See you later. Or should I say, see me later." She smiled.

"Just remember what I said: leave the lights on." He stepped into the men's room as Sarah walked back to the booth.

John walked past his wife as she kissed Tom, his hands up her blouse as he fondled her breasts. He drove home after stopping for the rubbers and placed them as requested. He stopped and, with a grin on his face, retrieved two of them, leaving only one in the drawer.

He turned on the light and waited for the sound of the front door. He bolted in the closet and locked the door as he heard them enter the house. As they walked in the room, Tom pinned Sarah to the bed post as he kissed her deeply, then moved his hands down her front as he unbuttoned her blouse.

John watched as he slipped his pants off and sat in a chair, watching Sarah's blouse fall to the side and off her shoulders. Tom unfastened her bra and let it fall as her tits came into view. He cupped them softly and rolled her nipples between his fingers, causing a low moan to escape from Sarah. John started to stroke his hard cock as Tom unfastened her pants and slid them down her legs before kneeling down in front of her. He tugged on the small straps of her panties as he slowly pulled them down her legs, kissing the light blond hair just above her pussy. Sarah stepped out of her panties as she climbed on the bed.

"Now it's your turn," she said as she pulled her knees up slightly and spread her legs. "Take it all off for me baby."

Tom quickly disrobed as he stared between her legs. John was amazed as his cock came into view: Tom was at least three inches longer than his own member and twice the girth. Tom stood still as his cock pulsed with Sarah admiring his size. He climbed between her legs as he licked her slit from bottom to top. He sucked on her pussy lips as she let out a series of low moans. He took his time, making sure she enjoyed this as much as he did. He moved both hands up to her breasts, gently caressing and fondling her soft fleshy mounds as he delicately sucked on the folds of her pussy

"Oh yes, that feels so good." She moaned as he hit her button. Her body started to quiver as she neared her orgasm. She let out a soft scream as he nibbled and sucked on her pussy. Suddenly, she tossed her head back as the first wave rocked through her body. He started sucking her, licking her clitoris as she gripped the blanket in her hands and moaned loudly. Her climax was surging through her while her husband watched another man bring her to sexual heights. As she settled down he inched up her body, stopping to nibble and suck on her hardened nipples. He kissed her on the lips as her mouth opened, allowing his tongue to slip inside. She sucked lightly on his tongue as he fondled her breasts. He maneuvered his hips between her legs as his stiff cock pressed against her opening. She placed her hands on his shoulders and caught him.

"We need to use some protection; they're in the night stand." She kissed him on the lips.

"Its ok baby, I don't have anything." He tried to reassure her.

"It's not that baby. I'm not on the pill." She winked at him.

"I'll pull out if you want, I just can't stand those things." He kissed her on the lips as she eased up on his shoulders. He pushed a little further as his cock head entered her. She let out a moan as she tensed from his size.

"Oh shit you're big," she said as he eased a few inches inside her. "Please pull out when I tell you to." She moved her hands and placed them on his ass as she pulled him to her. John watched with joy as she looked over Tom's shoulder and smiled at him. He stroked faster as Tom started to fuck her slowly; he was watching a stranger fuck his wife bareback.

Sarah felt Tom's cock hit her deep as he maneuvered his full length inside her. She felt another orgasm build as he quickened his pace, his long shaft deep inside her. She looked at the mirrored door and smiled, knowing her husband was surely enjoying the view. She wrapped her legs around her new lover and pulled him on top of her, giving John a better view of this stranger fucking her pussy. He grabbed her legs and folded them over his shoulders before he started to fuck her hard. Sarah tensed as she let out another soft scream, feeling a wave shutter through her body. "Oh yes, fuck me harder." She pleaded as she closed her eyes, "Oh god, I'm coming. Ohh oh yeah!" she shook as the intense feeling rushed through her. Tom fucked her hard as he felt his balls tingle, getting close to his own orgasm.

"I'm getting close baby, I'm going to come soon." He moaned as he fucked her harder.

"Oh shit … don't stop … oh god … please don't stop." She screamed as she felt another wave hit her.

"Oh yeah baby, come all over my cock." He said as he felt his balls start to pulse. "I'm going to come baby," he told her again.

Sarah felt wave after wave seize her body as she came over and over. "No, not yet, please don't stop." She begged as she pulled his face to her and kissed him deeply.

He tried to hold back as he felt the first pulse of his balls, but he knew it was too late. He buried his cock in her pussy as the second pulse clinched his balls, shooting a huge load of sperm inside her pussy. "Oh shit baby, here it comes." He shouted as she rolled her head back and let out a scream.

Sarah felt his cock twitch as he plunged into her and she felt another wave of orgasm rip through her. She tossed her head back, feeling the jolt of sperm as he held his cock deep inside her. She gripped the blanket as the third jet flooded her womb and she thought about her husband watching her as she let another man possibly father her child. She came again as she thought about John actually watching this guy fill her pussy full of come.

John watched as his wife let another man come inside her unprotected pussy. She was coming as he did too, telling him not to stop. He came hard as he watched the guy thrust into her, then kiss her deeply just after he came inside her pussy. When they finished he watched Tom roll off his wife and lie next to her, then start to fondle her tits. As Tom got up and went into the bathroom, Sarah looked into the mirrored door as she opened her legs wide. She pushed down on her belly as a thick white ball of sperm flowed from her hole, confirming he came a lot. She smiled as she stuck her finger inside her pussy and pulled it out with a white glob on it. She placed it to her mouth as she sucked it inside, licking it clean. She smiled as she laid her head back, leaving her legs wide for him to see.

Tom walked back in the room with a towel and sat next to Sarah, wiping her pussy with a dampened end as she flexed. "Sorry about that sweetie, I tried to warn you." He wiped the stream of sperm from her slit.

"I know, but it felt so good. I just got carried away." She allowed him to dry her pussy with the towel as he lay next to her.

"So, do I get to see you again?" he asked as he rubbed her belly and tits with the towel.

"We will have to see, I don't get too many chances like this." She said as she rolled on her side and started to stroke his cock, staring into the closet door with a smile.

"I'll leave you my number, just call me any time." He chuckled to himself. "You're so hot, I'm glad we met."

He kissed her as she accepted his tongue in her mouth. She stroked his cock as it started to harden again. "Oh shit, look at what I did." She said as she kissed him again, causing his cock to twitch as it grew. "I guess once wasn't enough."

He pulled her on top of him as she straddled his hips. They kissed as she moved back and forth, rubbing his cock with her pussy. She pulled his hands to her tits as she squeezed them around her mounds. "Looks like I get to thank you for a good fucking. I think as a reward I'll give you another good fucking, ok?" She said as she reached between them and gripped his member. She guided her body back as she held the head to her opening and eased down on him. He slipped into her pussy as she took his entire length.

John watched his wife as she took the strangers cock in her pussy again, knowing he would never pull out this time because what would be the use. She started to fuck him as he fondled her tits, riding up and down and moaning softly. She tipped her head back as she lifted her body and slid back down on his long shaft letting out a louder groan.

"Oh you feel so good inside me." She started to fuck him faster as she shuttered. "I want you to cum inside me again." She started to shake. "I want to feel you shoot deep inside me." She arched her back as she let out a light muffled scream. "Oh shit, I'm going to come again." She shook as she placed her hands on his chest to brace herself as she came.

John stroked his cock as he heard his wife ask the stranger to come inside her. He watched as she acted like a slut and fucked Tom wildly.

Tom started to buck back into her as she felt the waves of orgasm roll inside her. He grunted as he held her hips and forced her to take him fully with each thrust. She shuttered again and Tom felt her pussy tighten around his cock, causing his balls to tighten. He pulled her down to him and kissed her deeply as she moaned loudly. He held her face in front of his as he looked into her eyes.

"I'm going to come baby, are you ready?" He told her as she closed her eyes.

"Yes, oh yes, come in my pussy." She willed him as she felt her orgasm build again. "Come deep in me baby, I want you to fill me deep."

"Ok, here it comes." He said as he felt his balls tense, forcing her hips to his as he held her tight. He came deep inside her as she arched her back and came with him, feeling his warm fluid pulse inside her.

John felt his own climax near as he watched Tom come in his wife's pussy a second time. He was shocked as she acted like Tom's wife, wanting him to impregnate her. John shot his load on the floor for a second time as he saw the trickle of sperm seep from her pussy and drip down Tom's balls.

"Oh yeah baby, that's it. I feel it, it's so warm." She took his sperm deep in her womb.

Sarah rolled off of Tom as she purposely opened her legs toward the mirrored door, reaching over and stroking Tom's cock as she stared at the door with a smile. "That felt wonderful," she said as she looked at her husband and felt a stream of sperm run down her ass cheek.

Tom cleaned her off again as she held her legs wide open. When he finished he slid off the bed and dressed. He leaned over to Sarah and kissed her on the lips, "I would like to see you again, just let me know."

Sarah pulled a pen and piece of paper from the nightstand and laid it on the table. "Write your number down for me, we'll defiantly have to get together again." He scribbled on the paper and gave her another kiss as he caressed her tits one last time before he left. 

As the front door closed, John opened the closet door and approached his wife. "You were great, I didn't think you could be so kinky." He leaned down and kissed her on the lips. "I hope you enjoyed that, it sure seemed like you did."

"More than you know, but I have a question." She pulled him to the bed as he sat next to her. "Did you like what you saw, everything I mean?"

"Of course baby, what was not to like?" he stroked her breast. "You were perfect, right down to the open views you gave me. That was so hot."

"Well I have another question. Since I did that for you, I have a fantasy I'd like to fulfill." She sat up as she kissed her husband again. "I want to go out tomorrow night and bring back a surprise for you, and I promise you'll like it."

John shrugged his shoulders as he couldn't imagine what that could possibly be. "Does it require me to watch from the closet?" he asked out of curiosity.

"It does, and I want you to tape it with your little hidden camera." She had him hooked.

"Then I would say … hell yeah!" He smiled as she grinned.



Room with a View



I have made this trip so many times I probably could have set my truck on autopilot and still made it up here in one piece, but this trip was different. It normally only took me a couple of hours. This time, however, I had to stop, fill my truck up with gas, and shop for a few other items on my way. It wasn't a planned trip. 

We already had three snowfalls in town thus far this year. Up north where I was headed, they have had five totaling over thirty inches. Normally I don't mind driving in the winter, unless it was on hard packed snow or black ice. On this trip, though, more than once I had almost ended up in a ditch, sliding sideways down the road. I usually would have put a couple hundred pounds of sand in the bed of my truck for a little extra traction, but I hadn't had the chance to do that yet. Oh well, I would grab ten or so bags of sand and de-icing salt first chance I got. 

After three and a half hours, I was driving through the main streets of Detroit Lakes. I usually took the bypass and skipped the town entirely, but for some unknown reason, I wanted to take a look before heading further north out of town. 

It looked like they had been affected by the economy like every other town in the state. A few of the stores were the same as they had been, others had new owners, but there were a lot more empty ones then there had been the last time I was in town. Driving slowly through the downtown, I hoped to see a familiar face. Most people were too busy getting from point A to B to even bother to notice me. I only knew a couple of people in town, anyway. Most of the ones that I knew, that were my age, were long gone. Without any steady work around there was no reason to stay. Detroit Lakes was like every small northern town—it existed on the tourist trade, what little there was left of it. So, after driving from one end of town to the other, I headed my truck north again.

I waved at my neighbor, Art Schwee, as I eased my pickup down the shared driveway, pulling it in next to the side of my cabin. I was thankful Art lived here full time now because he maintained the road leading up to our cabins. Otherwise there would have been no way I would have made it down that windy dirt road without four wheel drive, which my truck did not have. The snow was well over three feet deep but Art and his four-wheel drive Ford F250, with the blade in front, always made sure all the roads going down to the lake were cleared. 

After pulling on my stocking cap and gloves, I stepped out of my truck into the cold. I threw the main breaker switch on the outside electrical box, opened up the stiff valve on the propane tank, and finally turned on the water to the cabin. 

I walked back to the truck to grab my single suitcase and the box of groceries I'd picked up on the way, before carefully walking up the snow-covered steps leading to the cabin's back door. A quick turn of the key and I was in.

I flipped on the light switch by the back door, illuminating the kitchen and part of the dining room. I watched as my warm breath mixed with the frigid air of the cabin almost freezing it as it came out of my mouth. Damn, it was cold. It seemed that everything had a thin coating of frost on it. I went over to the big space heater in the dining room, lit the pilot light, and waited for a second or two before turning on the gas. A large whoosh was the sound it thankfully made as the gas immediately ignited. I also lit the heaters in the big bedroom and the one on the enclosed front porch. I rubbed my cold bare hands together. It would take at least twenty minutes to heat the cabin up enough to take off my heavy parka. In the meantime I put away the food, hung up my clothes, and brought in a few more items from my truck. There was no need to lock it. I knew no one was going to be bothering it up here.

The cabin was finally starting to thaw out allowing me to take off my jacket and hang it on the coat rack by the heater in the dining room. Stepping into the enclosed front porch, I gazed out of the partially cleared windows—it really was beautiful up here. Like when I was a kid, I etched out a happy face in the frost on the inside of one of the porch windows before scratching it out. There wasn't anything to be happy about.

No one had been up here in the dead of winter in over ten years. That was the year one of our friends flipped his snowmobile and broke his arm. The damn fool was racing across the lake and tried to jump the snow bank in front of our cabin. The machine went airborne, turned sideways in midair, and came crashing down right on top of him. After a quick trip to the small hospital downtown, he and everyone else headed back home to Minneapolis. My wife, Mandy, and I stayed for another night and closed up the cabin. That was the last time anyone used it after the first snow fell. That is, up until now

Most of the cabins on the lake were summer retreats. Besides Art's, I could think of only two others that were occupied year round.

Art used to live somewhere south of St. Cloud. When his wife of fifty-five years passed away a couple of years ago, he sold his house and moved all his earthly belongings into his cabin. Art said he wanted to get away from it all, and up here he has all the solitude he wanted. Being just north of seventy-five, it took us almost two years to convince him to get a phone. I think he finally relented only after Mandy and I agreed to split the monthly charges with him. At least his three kids could now get hold of him.

Within two hours the cabin was toasty warm and all the windows were clear enough to look through. I grabbed my jacket, pulled my stocking cap back on, and dug out the bag of birdseed we stored in the storage bench on the porch. It took me about fifteen minutes to fill the eight or so bird feeders around the cabin. It wasn't long before they were packed with hungry birds. It was relaxing watching them swoop down, grab a seed or two then fly off. Now I wished I had thought to bring my camera, not that I was doing much thinking when I took off.

I spent the next hour looking through the wall of windows, relaxing in my large bentwood rocker. With my feet up on a windowsill I let out my first sigh of relief, no one could touch me here—I was in my fortress of solitude. Finally, I watched the sun start to go down and within minutes it was almost pitch black outside. I turned on the outside lights illuminating the yard and the narrow path down to the lake. I did two more turns around the inside of the cabin before deciding I had better eat something. It had been a while and the cold always makes me hungry. 

Breakfast sounded good to me. I fried up a couple of eggs, half a pound of bacon, finally slipping in two pieces of bread into the toaster. Breakfast has always been my favorite meal, no matter what time of the day it is. I did, though, tell myself I'd have to cool it, as I washed down the last bite of egg-soaked toast with my beer. I had drunk too much over the last two days and drinking wasn't going to solve my problems. It may make me feel a little better for a while, but in the end it wouldn't do shit for me. I knew where the anger had come from, but it had been years since I was unable to control it. I was now the laid back guy with the longest fuse of anyone I knew. I think Mandy had counted on that. But just like twenty plus years ago the foulness spewed out of my mouth, my blood pressure rose to record levels, and I lost control—something I'd promised myself years ago I would never do again. But I had a good reason. What scared even me was when I closed my fists while arguing with Mandy. I'd never hit my wife in all our twenty-eight years together, yet at that very moment I wanted to beat the living shit out of her. 

I left—for both our sakes—I had to. I drove around for what seemed like hours before ending up at my place of work. I was the materials manager for Hubert Manufacturing, a producer of dry cleaning equipment. I've been there close to fifteen years, and I really loved my job. It isn't rocket science, and as long as my vendors did what they were supposed to do, all was well. Rarely did I run into problems but when I did, God help the son of a bitch who put me in that position. I was fair and expected the truth from everyone I did business with. If you were going to be late, tell me, don't play games. If I knew in advance, I could change the production schedule and work around the shortage. But, if I didn't know and had to stop and change models in midstream, someone was going to pay, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be me.

I'd had a pretty good week up until Thursday night. We had just reviewed our budget numbers for the upcoming year, and although we had beaten last year's final number by quite a bit, they only bumped up this year's budget by five percent.

"Steve, if sales keep up, we'll see big bonuses again this year," Joel, our production manager, said. I could see him mentally spending next year's bonus.

"Hell, Joel, I haven't even cashed my bonus check from this year, much less mentioned anything to Mandy. I just figure this will be our mad money, you know when we want something we really shouldn't be buying. I'll tell her eventually, but not just yet." I was smiling ear-to-ear knowing how surprised she was going to be.

"Won't she be pissed knowing you've kept it from her?"

"Naw. With both kids out of college and now working, it'll be a good surprise after all these years of skimping and saving to make ends meet."

"Maybe you'll even get lucky, that is if you can still get it up, old man," he taunted me, giving me a ration of shit.

"Joel, after twenty-five plus years there isn't such a thing as getting lucky anymore. And as far as getting it up, well if I can't, there is a little blue pill out there that can get a stiffy on a frigging dead guy, so I'm not too worried about it." We laughed, and gave each other another round of shit before going back to work.

It wasn't like Mandy and I had extravagant tastes. We were your normal, everyday suburban couple, whose kids had finally left the nest. 

Our youngest, Dawn, finished nursing school last year and was working at Mercy Hospital. It was something she had wanted to do for as long as I could remember. For a while it was a toss up. I thought she was going to be a vet, but when a friend of hers got seriously ill, she moved in and helped her until she was back on her feet. After that, it was full steam ahead to nursing school. She still talks about going on further down the road but right now she wants to put her training into practice.

Our eldest, Ronnie, who is only fifteen months older than Dawn, also went into the medical field; he just took a different path. He is a field technical representative for Cardiac Pacemakers. When he isn't in the lab, trying to figure out why one of their units failed, he is in an operating room somewhere, answering any and all questions the surgeon might have while installing one of the twenty different types of pacemakers. As Ronnie explains it, he isn't the one wielding the scalpel, but he is helping to save lives. He loves his work, and doesn't mind traveling all around the country, especially in the winter when he gets to make a trip to a warm climate now and then. 

They are two of the greatest kids a father could ask for. It's too bad I can't tell them where I am. Knowing them, they would tell Mandy, and she is the last person I want to talk to, at least for now. She'll figure it out sooner or later but at this moment I had the peace and quiet I was looking for. I needed time to cool down and think.

When Mandy said that she had waited until after the holidays to talk to me I knew something was up. My wife had been acting funny for weeks and I didn't have a clue why. Normally the holidays were our time. Between Thanksgiving and New Year's I was always in a fantastic mood, not to mention I usually packed on a few pounds.

She was teaching a class on Tuesday and Thursday nights so there wasn't much going on during the week. The fall quarter started off like it always had but then she really got into it. Hell, on class nights she would be humming around the house. Once or twice I asked her to call in sick so we could have a little fun of our own. She would look at me and then tell me she'd never do that, her students depended on her. 

When she started coming home a little late, her excuse was she was giving one of her better students a little extra help. As long as she was happy and didn't get home too late it never bothered me. Then a couple of weeks before Christmas she did a one-eighty. She seemed stressed and had lost all that bubbly enthusiasm I'd seen for months. I asked her what was going on, to be told nothing was wrong. Bullshit, something was wrong, and she wasn't telling me jack shit. She got moody and started pulling away from me. 

When the quarter ended and Christmas was right around the corner I was relieved. We would have a great holiday and whatever was bugging her would finally go away. The only thing that didn't stop with the quarter were those damn text messages. All hours of the day and night they came in with that annoying beep. Finally I told Mandy to put it on mute.

"Steve, this is the electronic age, teachers have to be available at least by text or e-mail."

"But not twenty-four seven! Just turn it off. Nights are supposed to be our time." She complied, but not happily. 

I made sure this was the best Christmas we had in years. I went all out on presents for everyone. Mandy seemed to be pretty much her old self again, so I figured what had been bothering her was long gone. 

On New Year's Eve we went out with a few friends. We had a wonderful evening. "I love you, Mandy," I said kissing her while we moved slowly around the dance floor. "I don't know what I'd do without you." I made love to the most important thing in my life that night. I thought when we'd finished I really had finally chased her demons away, but I was wrong, very wrong.

She waited until after the holidays to tell me. I guess no use ruining everyone's holidays, especially not knowing how I was going to react to what she had to say. When she somberly asked me to sit down Thursday evening after dinner, a million things went through my mind and none of them good. The way she looked I thought she was sick and had been keeping it from the kids and me.

"Steve, you know I love you, don't you?" Mandy said, holding both of my hands in hers. "All these years we've always been one hundred percent honest with each other, I don't want it to stop now, no matter what."

"Hon, whatever is wrong we can beat it together, just like we always have. Let me know what we're up against, and we'll take it from there." She sighed and took a deep breath.

"Steve, it's not that easy, or should I say it involves someone else."

"You mean the kids? You told them first?" I replied, a little pissed at that prospect.

"No, not the kids Steve, someone else." I was puzzled. It seemed like she was talking in riddles.

"Mandy, I don't understand. Will you just tell me what's going on?" She paused for a moment, squeezed my hands a little tighter, and leaned forward.

"Steve, I met someone." She started to say more but stopped when I interrupted.

"Mandy, met someone? Who? What are you talking about? Spit it out, will you?"

"He was a student in my last quarter evening class and I, we..." She stopped again. I could see the beads of sweat forming on her brow. "Steve, it got complicated and after a while I thought I sort of felt something for him. Steve, I was so confused. I tried to tell you a couple of times, but I just couldn't."

This wasn't what I thought she was going to tell me. This was starting to sound like something out of my worst nightmare.

"Mandy, what the hell did you do?" I demanded, trying my damnest not to lose control.

"Steve, we didn't do what I know you're thinking, but I did cross the line on what I did with him. I'm sorry. I wasn't drunk but somehow it just got out of hand. 

"Mandy, are you trying to tell me you had sex with someone else?"

"No, I'd never do that." 

Five seconds, ten seconds, maybe an hour passed, I don't remember. My brain was trying to process what it had just heard come out of my wife's mouth. 

"He was in my evening composition class and over the last four months we'd gotten to know each other. I'm not sure, but I thought I might have had some feelings for him. I desperately needed to talk to you about it only I couldn't, not until I understood it myself."

I pulled my hands away from hers and stood up. I took a few steps, but there was nowhere to go in our small kitchen. I didn't know what to do with my hands, as they moved to my head, arms, and everywhere in between. I finally registered what my wife was telling me.

"Steve, we didn't do anything, you know, physically until the last night of class. We'd talk, grab a bite to eat, or sometimes a drink after class. I want to be upfront and honest with you. I could always talk to you about anything, that is until this happened. Steve, talk to me, will you?" 

I couldn't. I couldn't think much less talk at this moment. Finally, my growing anger at this new revelation took over. I slammed both hands on the counter.

"I think you should leave." I said it quietly, with no apparent outward emotion, without so much as looking at her.

"Steve, I love you, I don't want to leave you. I'm just telling you I'm confused. This has never happened to me before." She stood up walking over to where I was standing. She reached for me, but I pulled away like I'd been stuck with a hot poker, and in a way I had.

"Mandy, for God's sake will you please get the hell out of here? Go to your sister's or your parents' house, but please get the fuck out of here before I say what I'm thinking and kill our twenty-eight years together." I could tell I was already starting to lose it. I could feel the rage building.

"Steve, I'm not having an affair or anything like that." That pushed me over the edge, and I finally did lose it. 

"For a college educated woman, you truly are one stupid son of a bitch. What the fuck were you expecting? That I'd say, that's okay honey, explore your feeling and get back to me when you finally figure it out? You don't consider dinners, drinks, and the like, cheating on me? So you haven't fucked him yet, be still my heart! How about hand holding, kissing, or whatever else the two of you did?" I could see her backing away from me slightly as the octave of my voice went up a step higher.

"I guess that look on your face says it all. I never thought a wife of mine would turn into nothing more than a common fucking tramp."

"Steve, I didn't sleep with him!" The level of her voice rose up for the first time. "And, I'm not a tramp."

"Let's see, secret meetings after classes, and with whom? A God damn student of yours, no less. I wonder what the college dean would say about that?" For the first time in our marriage she didn't have a quick comeback line.

"Mandy, get the fuck out of my face. Leave. I don't care where you go, just get the hell away from me." She wasn't listening to what I was saying, but came running towards me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Steve, I love you, don't you understand?" I pulled her arms off me and pushed her away hard. "Steve..."

"Mandy, as God is my witness if you don't leave..." At that point I realized I had raised my hand over my head and closed my fist. She looked terrified. Would I have hit her? Honestly, I couldn't be sure. All I knew was one of us had to get the hell out of there before I found out, and since it wasn't going to be her it had to be me.

In one quick motion I grabbed my jacket and truck keys from their resting place by the back door. For a split second I wondered if Mandy was going to try and stop me. For her sake I'm glad she didn't. 




Room with a View



After driving around for what seemed like hours, I finally ended up at my office. It was lucky that I had my office keys. I went in, turned on the lights, and sullenly climbed up the stairs to the second floor where my office is located. On the way, I stopped in the lunchroom, got change for a dollar, and grabbed a cup of coffee. I sat at my desk holding the hot coffee in both of my hands. It was cold in the building. The heat was on a timer and was turned way down every night. I was still shaking, only not from the cold.

For four hours I sat there debating what to do. What the hell was she doing telling me that she was seeing someone on the side, and who in the hell was he? My anger kept me warm those four hours playing out ten or twenty different scenarios in my mind, and finally on paper. All I knew was that I had to get away and think about what I wanted to do about Mandy. She said she loved me and wanted to stay with me, but her actions didn't back that up. 

At ten after six one of the owners walked in. 

"Steve, what are you doing here so early?" Barry asked. "Couldn't sleep or are you trying to impress me?" He laughed a little but when he saw the look on my face he stopped. "I haven't seen a look like that since your dad passed a couple of years ago." He put his briefcase down on the floor by the doorway, plopped down in the chair in front of my desk, and told me to spill it.

I gave him the nickel tour of last night. He listened, saying nothing until he was sure I was finished.

"Leo's up to speed and since it's still a little slow this time of year, I want you to take two weeks off. Go get your head and ass wired together because sure as shit you won't be worth a damn until you do. Let's just say you've gone out to check on a few of our vendors and leave it go at that. Take care of what you need to do, and be ready to get back to work by the twenty-eighth. I don't want to hear or see you until then. You two figure it out, but if you can't, no use making each other miserable. If you need me you know where I am." He stood up, grabbed his briefcase, and walked down the hall to his office. I heard the heat kick on.

Barry was a great boss. He and his brother weren't into micromanaging. They let you do your job, but God help you if you didn't. Like I said, Barry could be the greatest boss you ever had or your worst nightmare. If you weren't a company person, you didn't last long. After leaving detailed instructions for Leo, I grabbed my cell phone and laptop, and headed out. The planet wouldn't stop revolving with me not being there for a week or so.

I was hoping Mandy had gone to work. She was the last person I wanted to see or talk to after the night and morning I just had. I turned on my cell and found it filled with messages from her. I heard enough last night. I was just grateful she wasn't at home when I got there. 

I grabbed a beer and headed for our bedroom. I threw a suitcase on the bed and filled it with clothes. If she wasn't going to leave, I was. One more beer and I was ready to go. I left my personal cell phone on the counter. I had my work phone. I knew Mandy knew that number but not too many others did. I hoped no one, especially Mandy, would be calling it. I thought about making some type of a grandiose statement by taking off my wedding ring and sticking it to the counter with a butcher knife. But after over twenty years it would take more than a dab of butter to get off. I left without leaving so much as a note because, frankly, I didn't have a clue what to say or even where I was going.

The Motel Six in Anoka was clean, cheap, and best of all had a restaurant next door. The burger and fries were good, but the five Coronas were much better. I stumbled back to my room somewhere between ten and eleven o'clock falling asleep fully dressed. I woke up just after ten fifteen the following morning and was sick to my stomach. I was no drinker. I maybe had two beers a week, and sometimes a glass of wine with dinner on the weekends. Right now my body was paying me back, big time.

I took a hot shower not bothering to shave. I'd forgotten to take my razor yesterday. What the hell, I had no one to be clean-shaven for. 

I ate a short stack of hot cakes, sausage links, and drank several cups of coffee. I toyed around with going back home and having it out with Mandy, but I was nowhere near ready for that. Looking out the restaurant window at the frozen river below I thought of our cabin. 

My dad and I had bought it from my Uncle Ed about eighteen years ago, in order to insure it was kept in the family. He was retiring, moving south, and wanted to unload it. The cabin wasn't plush, more rustic than anything else. Against Mandy's wishes, I took out a loan for our half and we bought it. She wasn't an outdoors type of girl, proclaiming our money could be better used elsewhere. I did it anyway.

My dad and I let our family and close friends use it when we weren't. My kids grew to love it. Pickerel Lake wasn't huge, but a canal on the far west end of the lake connected it to Cotton Lake, which was. We, or should I say the kids and I, fished morning, noon, and night. And Mandy? Well, she used the time to study for her doctorate, which would allow her to teach at our local college—a long time dream of hers. It worked out well for all of us.

I didn't sleep much that first night in the cabin. I flipped open my cell phone probably a hundred times before finally putting it on the nightstand. I missed my wife. I wanted to call her in the worst way, but couldn't figure out what I wanted to say to her. Had she been reaching out to me in her own strange way? Was she trying to bring me back into her fold? Did she want some help to end it? Or, was she telling me that she was no longer satisfied with our life together, found a replacement for me, and was moving on? I didn't believe that last scenario for a moment, but still I wasn't sure. Hell, I wasn't sure about anything right now. The sneaking around, the lies, all dug into my stomach. Even if she hadn't done the big nasty with him, it had gone further than it should have. She herself said she had feelings of some kind for him.

My brain screamed to me, Mandy is 'MY WIFE.' She's mine and no one else's. She wasn't just my soul mate—she and I—we were one, not two individual people. No one, I repeat no one, messes with my stuff and she was on the top of that list. I remember years ago having words with one of her fellow teachers when his hands started to stray. 

"Touch her like that again, and you'll be pulling back a bloody stump." He never touched her again. "How could she?" I agonized. My brain hurt, all I could do was think about it.

I thought about my dad. I'm not saying he was some kind of throw back to the past, but the word draconian comes to mind. If he ever even thought a man was looking at my mom in that type of way, he would have been dead or at least would remember the beating my dad would have given him until his dying day. My dad didn't take shit from anyone. I once saw him punch out a guy who tried to take his parking spot. He was tough and had one hell of a temper. I am not proud that I most likely inherited that not so great trait from him. My brother and I used to listen to my dad yelling at my mom at least once a week, for whatever reason that entered his mind at that moment. He would blow up and then everything would go back to normal until the next time. No one fucked with or crossed my dad. Like I said, my dad sure as hell wouldn't have tucked his tail between his legs and come up here. Right now he'd be calling me a pussy or a wimp, but I wasn't my dad—well, at least not anymore.

What the hell was I doing up here? I couldn't run away from this, I needed to fight it head on. I was her husband, for Christ's sakes, not some fucking student who was plying her with sweet talk and alcohol. We were a team, Mandy, the kids, and I. 

I spent the whole day thinking and even writing down what I was going to say to her. The more I wrote, the more I thought, and the more I found cracks in our team.

When we met in our mid twenties, we were like two old style Farmers matches. We'd rub together and immediately ignite into a ball of flames. She was a lean, mean, sexual machine, and me? I looked more like a football line backer but a lot less agile. We were always hot for one another. Hell, we just about lived for one another. Neither one of us had come to our marital bed a virgin, but we found we both enjoyed the same things sexually. After trying a few other things, we settled into what for us floated our boats, and we floated those boats often.

Our only problem was my short fuse and bad temper. I, like my dad, started out taking nothing from anybody. If you crossed me there was hell to pay. I almost lost a job for chewing out one of the guys who worked under me. I didn't just chew him out, I ate him for breakfast, spit him out, and humiliated him in front of all his co-workers. My boss, who was watching my little display, pulled me into his office.

"If I EVER see another scene like that again you can find yourself a new job. I want you to go back out there and apologize to him in front of everyone. I'm telling you this, if it ever happens again, you can clean out you desk. Do you understand?" I nodded yes, and was sent out to rectify what I'd just done.

I didn't think what I had done was wrong. You needed to kick a little butt now and then to keep your men in line. However, when I started doing it with Mandy time and time again, more than shit hit the fan.

We had just had Ronnie and money was pretty tight. He got sick, the medication was expensive, and we had little to nothing left in the checking account until I got paid on Friday. When I got two bank overdraft slips, I became enraged and Mandy got the brunt of it.

Mandy was paying the bills and had overdrawn our checking account by ten dollars. We had the money in our savings account to cover it; she just hadn't had the time to get to the bank with Ronnie being sick and all. I didn't care to hear her excuses, and I laid into her.

I yelled and screamed like an insane lunatic. I think everything that had been happening at work and home finally got to me, and I took it out on Mandy. It got worse than ugly and when I called her a stupid, fucking bitch, she had enough. Tears were already flowing, but with that statement they stopped and were replaced with an anger of her own.

She tore me a new ass hole telling me I didn't know shit about what went on in our house, and if I was that dissatisfied with her I could fucking leave. I'd never heard Mandy swear in all our years together. I left in a huff and went to a tavern about two blocks from our house. 

"I'll show her who's boss," I said to myself, while sloshing down a couple of brews. Looking at my watch I saw I had been gone for a couple of hours. "Looks like it's time to go back and get my apology from her." Except when I got home she wasn't there. 

All the note said was that she and Ronnie had gone to her parents, and when I got my head out of my ass to call, not to come over, but call.

The next day I took care of the bank and even set up automatic overdraft protection so it wouldn't happen again. I went to work and for once didn't chew anyone out. On my way home I picked up some cut flowers and a card figuring that would solve our problems, it didn't.

I thought Mandy would be waiting for me at home, and was shocked when I found she wasn't there. I assumed she would simply get over it, like all the other times, and we'd go back to where we were before this all happened. I soon found out there was no going back.

"Hon, when are you coming home?" I asked over the phone. "You want me to come get you?" I said in a conciliatory voice.

"Steve, I'm not coming home."

"Mandy, don't talk crazy. I'm sorry about last night. I know I shouldn't have called you what I did. Why don't you let me pick you up and we can talk at home?"

"Steve, what about not coming home do you not understand? I can't live like this anymore. Walking around you on eggshells when you're in a bad mood, then getting the brunt of your anger, I just can't do it anymore." This conversation was starting to scare me. 

"I'm sorry, okay? I won't do it again, I promise." She wasn't buying it.

"You said that the last time and the ten times before that. I no longer believe you. I'm sorry, Steve. I can't live like this for another day. I can't handle the verbal abuse. I have Ronnie to consider."

"Please, Mandy, I'll change," I pleaded, saying anything and everything to get her to try and listen to me.

"Words, that's all I've ever gotten from you. Sorry, that doesn't cut it anymore. Your words are just that, words. They are empty and meaningless. We need some time away from each other to see if we should even continue to be married." What I just heard made my heart drop. "I don't want to hear from you or see you for the next week. Maybe by then we'll figure out if we still want to be together."

That was the longest week of my life. My dad told me to drive over there and drag her ass home, but for once I didn't heed his advice. I knew she was right. I couldn't justify it any longer as just blowing off some steam. Three days later I called, but she refused to talk to me. I was lost without her. Hell, I didn't feel like I existed without her and Ronnie.

Eight days later I showed up at mys. I didn't bring candy, flowers, or gifts, only myself. They didn't invite me in, but Mandy did come outside to talk to me.

"Well? Got your head out of your ass or do we just call it quits? I'm not coming back home to war zone again. You either learn to control that temper of yours or we're done."

I was not above groveling in order to save our marriage. "Look, hon, I know I was wrong for what I said, I admit that. And I will guarantee you it will never happen again. Please, just come home with me

"You've given me that same old song and dance before, what's different now?"

"I am. You've got my word on it. I promise it will never happen again. Have I ever lied to you?" She said nothing. We stood there just looking at one another. "Please, I can't lose you and if I have to beg, I will." She softened.

The next six months were hell. My tongue was continually bleeding from biting it instead of mouthing off, but it was worth it. Mandy was skeptical and watched me like a frigging hawk. She told me one more time and she was out of there—I believed her—I had no choice. The only thing she wanted to see was me changing, and I proved to her I could. There were no more outbursts; consequentially we ended up being that much closer. I don't know what I would have done without her. I know I wouldn't have survived my twenties without her and my children because as it turned out, we had Dawn before we even got used to having Ronnie around.

Our thirties were spent raising our two wonderful children. I was done with school, but as we often joked, Mandy was going to be a full-time student until she retired. I had a few so so jobs, before finding the one I'd waited my life for. It was challenging, paid extremely well, and was only twenty minutes from our house. I think one of the best parts of my job was that the two owners liked me. After I proved myself to them, I could do no wrong in their eyes. With them I was going somewhere.

With both kids in school, Mandy finally took a position teaching English at a local public high school. She loved teaching, but sometimes got frustrated. It seems in reality not all the students were as anxious to learn as others. When she had to give one of them a 'D' or god forbid an 'F', it about killed her. Parents were called in, tests were re-given, and even extra credit was offered, but sometimes none of the above worked and someone failed. She took it personally, like somehow she had failed. Yet she still gave it one hundred-ten percent.

In our forties, we watched our two children grow up and make so many right choices. I was proud beyond words, sitting in the auditorium, watching each graduate from high school and then college. Hell, even Mandy walked one more time when she picked up her Doctorate. Imagine, Dr. Mandy Moore, I was married to a doctor. When she got a position at the University of Minnesota she was walking on air. She was with the elite, teaching the students in the place she had always wanted. 

I still made a bit more money than she did, but hell, we'd always combined our earnings. We told the kids we would help them with college, but it seemed that we were paying off all of their school loans. I really didn't mind unless I found something I wanted to buy, and Mandy said we didn't have the money. Even after that incident with the bounced checks she continued to be in charge of paying the bills and handling the money, she knew what we could and couldn't afford.

I was still deep in thought when the knock on the back door brought me back to the present. I opened the inside back door, knowing who was probably there.

"Jesus Christ, Steve, what the hell are you doing up here?" Art said, looking through our screen door.

"Come on in." I moved out of the way to let him into the kitchen.

"What are you fucking nuts, or did your lovely wife finally kick your lazy ass out?" He snickered. I did my best to go along with the joke.

"Just taking a little time for myself. I haven't been up here in the winter in forever and wanted to see what it was like again." I attempted a smile.

"Well, it's white, and damn cold, but I think you figured that out last night. At first I thought it was your son, but I knew he had more brains than to come up here this time of year. You mind if I smoke?" he asked, looking around probably for Mandy, who always told him no way, no how.

"Sure, go right ahead," I said, grabbing an old coffee cup he could use as an ashtray.

For the next two and a half hours I listened to him reminisce about his life. I had heard it all a hundred times before, but let him go on and on until he was finished. He was on the far side of seventy-five, and every year of his life was written on his rough and tattered face. He was a man lost inside himself, doing nothing more than waiting for God to take him home, so he could be with his wife again. Right now I kind of knew how he felt.

"You want to come over for dinner? I'm having fish." Shit, that's about is all he ever ate.

"Maybe tomorrow."

"How long are you going to be up here?" Art questioned me.

"Not sure, but at least until mid next week." I hadn't really given it much thought until just then.

"Well, then I'll expect you tomorrow for dinner," he said, crushing out his eighth or ninth cigarette in the cup. "Come hungry, and bring your own booze if you want any. All I've got in my place is some bourbon, and I know you hate that shit." Grinning widely, he put his jacket and hat back on. "If you want to do any ice fishing, I've still got all my stuff, even though I haven't used it in years."

"Art, I still hate the cold as much as I always have. Do you really think I'm going to go out on the lake to stare in a hole in the ice, waiting for some stupid fish to bite?" He shook his head, pulled his cap on a little tighter and headed back to his cabin. I watched him until he was safely inside his cabin door. At his age, if he fell and broke something, he'd probably freeze to death before he could drag his ass into his cabin. I skipped dinner altogether.

After six days, I was no closer to resolving my problems than I had been that first day. I was starting to get a little shack nasty, running out of things to do. I had finished all the things Mandy had wanted me to do for years. I even ended up making plans to expand the front deck overlooking the lake and maybe adding a few more outside lights. I spent hours sitting in that front room, looking out the windows at my winter wonderland. I'd like to say it helped me put my problems in perspective, but even that view wasn't enough to do that.




Room with a View



Day seven turned into the morning of the eighth. I finished up the last of the eggs and bacon for breakfast. I still had plenty of coffee, creamer, and bread, but nothing to go with it. I'd have to make a few decisions in the next twenty-four hours on what I wanted to do.

"You dumb shit," is all he said when he walked into my cabin. "Mandy called last night and wanted to know if your sorry ass was up here." I watched as the ash from the cigarette, which hung between his lips, hit the floor. I handed him the cup I'd left by the sink.

"What did you tell her?"

"The truth, did you think I was going to fucking lie for you? I told her you had a blonde and a redhead up here, and have been putting the meat to them for the past week." He smiled at his own joke. "I told her you were okay, and were keeping to yourself. And no, I didn't ask her what was wrong, nor do I care to know. I've got my own problems to worry about." I knew it was just a matter of time before she found me.

"Did she say anything else?"

"Nope, just wanted to know if you were up here. I guess that answers most of my questions, and the others, well, I'm too old to worry about the two of you and your problems. By the way, just to give you a heads up, we are supposed to get another six plus inches over the next day or two, if you're interested. If I were you, I'd be heading south by tonight before the roads get too bad. That is, if you plan on leaving. Well, got to get my truck ready. Sure as hell don't want to get snowed in." I watched him walk back to his cabin while I debated my next move. 

I closed it up, shut off the gas, the water, and flipped the main breaker on the electrical box. I gave Art what little food I had left, along with the six- pack of beer I'd decided not to drink. He smiled at his good fortune. 

"Art, see you soon," I told him on my way out.

"Next time bring your wife, she's a lot more sociable than you."

"You just be careful, I don't want to have to pull your sorry old ass out of some ditch." 

"That'll be the day." 

I gave him a friendly hug, fired up my truck, and headed out. Where I was going, I wasn't completely sure, but the last thing I wanted to do was to get snowed in up here. I'd be ready for the loony bin by the time spring rolled around.

When I was through Detroit Lakes I got in the right hand lane, put it on cruise, and let everyone go by me. The snow was coming down pretty hard, but as fast as I was going, I'd have more than enough time to avoid the ditch if I lost traction. Anyway, I needed some quiet time before I hit Minneapolis. I still had a couple of days left of my supposed vendor inspection trip, but that went out the window now that Mandy knew where I was.

I spent the night in a motel just outside of Coon Rapids. It was kind of a dump, but there was a bed, a television, and cable—all the comforts of home, who could ask for more—and for forty-five dollars a night, what was I expecting? I already knew what I was going to say to Mandy. Hell, I guess I'd known from my second night up north. I was just getting one more night's rest before heading home. 

Rest, who the hell was I kidding? I just lay there looking up at the ceiling, counting the holes in the tiles. By six o'clock in the morning I had paid my bill, and was headed over to Denny's for breakfast. I made short work of my Grand Slam breakfast and had an extra cup of coffee to boot. It was Saturday morning, so I knew Mandy would be sleeping in. I steered my truck towards home and within forty minutes was in my driveway. 

I thought about hitting the garage door opener, but it's noisy as hell in cold weather, and I wanted to come in unannounced. The house was quiet. I left my suitcase in the front hallway and went into the kitchen. It was the same as when I'd left it ten days ago. I don't know what I was expecting, maybe a sink piled with dirty dishes, or beer bottles stacked all over the counters? It looked the same way it always had. Not knowing what to do next, I made coffee. Mandy usually drank tea in the morning, but I never developed a taste for it. I made the usual three cups for myself. With my back to the stairs, and filling the coffee pot with water from the sink, I never heard her come downstairs.

"You want to heat me up some water?" were the words that made me jump. She'd taken me by surprise.

"Sure, no problem." I grabbed the teapot, filling it halfway up before setting it on the now glowing burner. "Anything else?" She shook her head, no.

Milk, creamer, sugar, were all within reach of where we ended up sitting.

As they say, the silence between us was deafening.

"I'm sorry I sprang it on you like that, but I didn't know a better way to do it," she said, playing with the teabag in her cup.

"No problem, I guess there wasn't an easy way to say it." My gut started to tighten up like it had that night, and every night thereafter.

"I just want you to know, I haven't seen or talked to him since the term ended." She was now looking for some type of reaction to her statement.

"You find someone new?" 

She scowled. "I guess I deserve that shot, but no, I haven't."

We were skirting the issue, afraid of what the other might say, or not say in this case. I couldn't take it any longer.

"Mandy, what the hell do you want?"

"You!"

"Bullshit! You had me, but went looking elsewhere."

"I did not go looking."

"If you're going to keep lying to me, I'm getting up and leaving." That statement made her eyes get real big but no tears fell. Maybe like me, her tear ducts were empty.

"It's true. I never went looking for anyone, it is you I love. We started talking after class one night and before I knew it, I was spending at least a half hour or more talking with him every night after class. When he suggested coffee, or when we grabbed a bite to eat at the student union, I didn't see anything wrong with it. I knew I might be pushing it when we went out for drinks, but you stop for a beer after work once in a while, and I was just doing the same thing, or so I thought.

"When I stop for a beer, it's with Joel, Paul, or Dan. I'm not trolling for another woman, or any strange stuff." I knew that hurt her, it was meant to. I wanted her to feel some of the pain I'd been going through since that night.

"Steve, I wasn't looking for anyone to replace you. He was just someone intelligent to talk to, someone who was interested in what I was teaching."

That last statement stung, reopening a rift that was often between us. She didn't think I was her intellectual equal, and I probably wasn't. She had never said it out loud, but I felt it when we went to her faculty functions at the college. These people were smart, but it was all book smart. I don't think more than a handful of them could find their way out of a paper bag.

"I wish now I had never said anything."

"So, you were just going to fuck him on the side, and leave me deaf, dumb, blind, and stupid?"

"I wasn't having sex with him," she retorted, her voice going up.

"Yet. For all I know it may have happened sooner or later." It again got quiet between us.

"Are you going to stay, or are you just stopping by to pick up more clean clothes?" That felt like another dig of sorts. It seemed like we were now take shots at each other.

"I'll be here tonight, after that I'm not sure." And I wasn't. 

"Steve, I want you to stay. Even if you don't believe it, I truly do love you."

I wanted to say, 'yeah right' but figured that would just start another argument, which I didn't want at the moment.

"I'll sleep in the guest room tonight. We'll see what happens tomorrow."

"You're my husband, you need to be in bed with me. How are we ever supposed to get passed this by being apart?"

"Mandy, right now I don't feel very lovey dovie towards you."

"Fine. Fine, sleep in the damn guest room. I've got to go into work this morning for a couple of hours. There is a bunch of stuff I didn't get done this week, worrying about you. You also might want to touch base with your children. They were also worried about you." She left her cup on the counter and went back upstairs to change.

In the three or so hours she was gone, I made a list of things I would need to do if I decided to leave. Forget closing the bank accounts and canceling the credit cards, we weren't to that point.

Dinner was quiet. She had made chicken and rice but neither one of us was very hungry. I sipped on a glass of wine, not saying a word. What I wanted was to pick her up, shake her, and ask what the hell could she have been thinking, but I never did. In retrospect, I should have to get everything off dead center. 

That night she watched me again walk into the guest bedroom. I didn't shut the door. I was still waiting for her to say something, she never did. She also left her door open, maybe hoping I'd change my mind sometime during the night, I never did. So many 'never dids' by both of us were getting us absolutely nowhere.

By Sunday afternoon, you could cut the tension with a knife. We ate brunch together, read the newspaper, even watched a little television. By dinner she finally had enough.

"Are you going to talk to me, or what?"

"Mandy, what do you want me to say?"

"Steve, you know damn well what. We need to address this issue. I need to know if you are staying or leaving?"

"I haven't made up my mind yet. Why are you in such a big hurry to get rid of me? What? Do you have a date tonight or something?" That was the wrong thing to say.

"Fuck you!" she shouted, heading for the stairs. 

There was a lot of noise coming from the upstairs. It sounded like things were be tossed around. Forty-five minutes later Mandy came down the stairs with two suitcases in hand.

"If you want to talk, I'll be at my parents," she informed me, walking towards the garage door in the kitchen. "For what it's worth, I still love you but I can't deal with your silent treatment or sarcasm anymore." With that she was out the door. There was this delay before she actually pulled out of the garage. I think she was waiting for me to stop her, but I didn't. It was good that tomorrow was Monday and I would be back at work. It would fill the empty spaces in my day and in my life.

Barry was glad to have me back, even though I told him I was far from resolving any of my issues.

"Work is what you need to get your mind off your troubles. Just don't overdue it." But I did. 

There was no point going home right after work. I was going home to an empty house. I told no one what was going on. I just didn't want to have to explain anything to anybody, though I am pretty sure some suspected something was not right just by my actions. Mandy made it a point to e-mail me every other day, but I rarely replied and when I did, she probably didn't like what I had written.

This went on for weeks. The red-hot anger wasn't always there but I found myself flying off the handle for no particular reason, and more than one time I had to eat crow and apologize to one of my co-workers. I knew I had to get my head straight. Each day I found it harder and harder to function without Mandy being with me. All I felt inside was emptiness. How that bout of depression snuck up on me I haven't a clue. Medicating with alcohol is probably how it initially started, but when I stopped drinking it was still there. Mandy and I tried to talk. It was mind boggling that after twenty-eight years we couldn't talk about what needed to be talked about, yet there was so much we needed to talk about.

"Dad, you've got to snap out of it," my son said to me for the tenth time. "Mom is worried about you, we all are. You two need to get back together and work it out. Stop being so damn stubborn." My son didn't understand.

"Ronnie, if your girlfriend told you that she was spending time with another guy, how would you react? If she was going out to dinner and having drinks with him behind your back, what would you do? Finally, if she admitted that she had some feelings for him, would you still be so fucking understanding?" He didn't have such a quick answer for me this time. 

"But we're talking about Mom. You two have been together most of your lives,"

"Ronnie, that's what makes it that much harder to take." I was done trying to explain my reasons to him.

Dawn was a lot more understanding than my son, but she also sided with Mandy to a point.

"You know, I think Mom is just starting to go through her change. Her hormones are probably out of whack, and she didn't fully understand what she was doing. I told her to get checked out because with a few drugs she can get it under control. You do know she never slept with him, don't you?"

"Dawn, if she had, we wouldn't be having this conversation at all, would we?"

"Look, I told Mom she was wrong, but that you would forgive her."

"Anything else you want to tell her from me?" I was getting a little upset with my kids. "Both of you need to stay the hell out of my life. You take care of yourselves, and I'll take care of myself."

"That's the point Dad, you're not. You look like hell, you're losing weight and Mom's a wreck." I was kind of glad I wasn't the only one going to hell in a hand basket.

"Sweetheart, we'll either work it out, or not, but the two of you need to stay out of it, understand?" She gave me an ugly glare.

"Well, then I guess we'll just let you wallow in your self-pity. Call us when you're done." That went about as well as my meeting with her brother.

Doctor supplied anti-depressants got me through the next two months, or I thought they did. I was walking around in a haze, and sometimes I couldn't remember what day of the week it was, much less the problems that had gotten me to this point. Mandy and I hadn't talked in the last couple of weeks. I think she was finally getting tired of chasing me and holding out the olive branch. Little by little she was removing her clothes and other personal items from the house. Did I care? Hell, I was lucky to find my way home each night.

"Steve, take this." Barry said, handing me a slip of paper. "You've got an appointment at two o'clock this afternoon."

"What's this?"

"It's your therapist appointment."

"I don't need..." I started to say before he cut me off.

"Look, I don't pay people to sit at their desk and do nothing, and that's what you've been doing for weeks. Either go to the appointment, and get your self together, or start looking for another job." He wasn't giving me any more slack or options.

"Okay, I'll go."

"Good. Maybe then we can get back to normal, sooner rather than later."

Doctor Simon Cohen had the personality of a rock. He was professional, all business, and I hated to see what he was charging Barry. We spent the first two sessions talking about my initial conversation with Mandy and how it made me feel.

"How do you think it made me feel? Like shit, that's how it made me feel. My god damn wife was cheating on me behind my back after twenty-eight fucking years." I was starting to get angry all over again.

"Was she engaging in sex with this man?"

"She said no, but now I don't know if I can believe a single word she says."

"Had she lied to you in the past, that you know of?"

"I don't think so, but hell, I didn't have a clue what she'd been doing for what, four months. I'm probably a good candidate for the blind and stupid award." He wasn't amused.

"Steve, do you want to get back with your wife?"

"I guess that's the ten thousand dollar question now, isn't it? I still love her. It's just that I don't know if I can trust her, among other things." We spent the next three sessions talking about all the 'other things'.

"Do you want to invite your wife to theses sessions?" I was asked at the following week's session.

"Dr. Cohen, Mandy doesn't even know I'm seeing anyone."

"Well, I'd like to hear her take on this, if you don't mind. It may give me some insight into your problems." I grabbed a sheet of paper from the side table and wrote down her work e-mail address and cell phone number.

"If she wants to come and see you by herself, I don't have a problem with that. But, I'm not ready to sit down with her yet."

"I thought you said you were starting to get a handle on things?"

"Doc, starting is the key word here. I'm off the medication and finally getting my head around my issues. I lost two months somewhere, I need to get my own head together before I worry about Mandy."

Dr. Cohen and I spent the next two sessions talking about Mandy and our last ten years together, questioning why I thought my life was so perfect. For everything I told him, he asked either why, or had some other comment. He was never satisfied with anything I ever told him. When he asked me to write down all my issues on paper, I thought what a waste of time. It wasn't.

It took me five excruciatingly hard days to do it. I felt like I was in school again. I started writing on a note pad, but after I'd thrown away twenty plus sheets, I went to our home computer. This went a lot smoother because it had spell check. I am one of the worst spellers I know.

When he asked when I would be finished, I told him to give me another couple of days to reread it, it had gotten a lot longer than I ever thought it would be. There were too many things rattling around in my brain and I wanted to make sure I'd hit them all.

"I saw your wife yesterday," is how he opened our next session. "She told me to tell you she misses you."

"Well, I miss her too, but after reading this you might wonder why, like I have for the last couple of months." He looked puzzled as I handed him the three typed pages. 

This time we talked about my kids, my work, everything except Mandy. I was glad when our session ended, since I was drained before it had even begun.

"I'll read this," Dr. Cohen said, indicating my typed pages, "and maybe we can discuss it at our next session." I nodded my approval. I walked out feeling worse than when I'd arrived.

I thought we were a team, but after thinking about it, and writing it all down, I now had my doubts. For the first time since Mandy left, I wasn't sure we would be spending the rest of our lives together.

Boring, that's what I had become, and so had our marriage.

In our late twenties, with young babies we had little or no time to ourselves. How we found the time for lovemaking, much less sleep, is still a mystery, but we did. We always managed to find time for ourselves.

In our thirties, I realized that I'd become the go-to parent. Scouts, football practice and games, dance classes, and every other function were now my responsibility. Mandy was working, going to school at night, and with her own homework to do, she had little time for much of anything else. My kids and I became the team. Don't get me wrong, Mandy made it to every event she could, and up until just recently I never even thought much about it. It's just that's the way it was.

Our forties were supposed to be our time. The kids were in college and things were less hectic. We still made love, but I was the one who always initiated it. Friends became her friends or my friends, not our friends. We both went to each other's functions, after all that's what husbands and wives do, don't they? As they say, with a spouse you always had a date for Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve. Mandy didn't particularly care for my friends because most were a little rough around the edges, and I didn't have much in common with her snobby bunch of professors, who made it abundantly clear that I wasn't intellectually up to their level, or so they thought.

The get-togethers with my friends were usually backyard barbeques or adult parties. Alcohol flowed and with the language and adult conversation, kids were not allowed. It was basically 'guy nights' with our wives there to serve us food and drinks. They were good sports about it because the guys cooked the food and cleaned up while the wives talked or should I say compared notes. On the way home I would find out all the dirt on everyone else. All in all, I thought we had the best marriage.




Room with a View



Her friends' get-togethers weren't nearly as fun. There was stuff to drink and the food was good, but I felt I should be walking around with a napkin tucked under my chin while I ate or drank. I guess what I'm really saying—everything and everyone were so damn civilized. They talked about current events and had large debates about this issue or that, usually stuff I had no interest in. 

When someone asked me what I thought about the war in Iraq, I made a stupid statement that made everyone there look at me, and not in a good way.

"I think we should drop a nuke on Iraq and make one hell of a gas light that could even be seen from space." It was a joke. Apparently no one got my humor. My buddies would have laughed, but like I said, I didn't have a connection with hers.

Over the last two years, I don't know which one of us stopped asking the other to attend work, or university functions, but it happened. Looking back we were pulling away from each other, and I don't think either one of us noticed or cared.

When she was driven home a little hammered from one of her get-togethers I should have said something, but didn't. Then there was the time I forgot to tell her about a company dinner and came home very late, and she never even asked where I had been. As I said, looking back there were warning signs everywhere, but no one way paying attention.

The day after I gave Dr. Cohen my list, I looked at myself in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. A middle aged, slightly overweight man with thinning hair, and when did I get those wrinkles? I had become sedentary and boring. The only thing Mandy and I discussed now were unimportant trivial items or the kids, never what each of us was thinking, or what was happening outside our four walls. We used to talk about the news, current events, our jobs, but I can't tell you the last time we asked each other about anything other than the kids. At night I would watch television for hours on end while she read. We were in a rut.

I had tried a couple of times to spice up our sex life. That didn't go as I'd expected or planned. I bought her a couple of sexy nighties for Christmas last year. She wore one of them that night, but I never saw her in any of them again.

"Steve, I'm a forty-seven year old woman, not some hot twenty year old babe. I look and feel stupid in those outfits." I think she gave them to our daughter. When I tried a few new things in bed, she sat up wanting to know where in the hell I'd learned them. When I told her I saw them in a video, she asked if I needed porn to make love to her now. I didn't try anything different again.

I remember a night about seven months ago, we had just gotten home from dinner and she wanted to talk. It came right after I had just given her a kiss and told her I loved her.

"What is it you love about me?" she asked. I stood there a little dumbfounded. "You always say you love me, and I don't doubt it for a second, but what is it about me that you love so much? I'm sure as hell not as good looking as I once was, and this forty-seven year old body started sagging years ago. We like the same foods, but I hate hunting and fishing, and camping isn't high on my list either. Even our views on a lot of issues differ. Like I said, I don't see what makes you love me so much?" 

This was the first time I'd been asked a question like that since we first started going out. It caught me totally by surprise, setting me back on my heels. It took me a minute or two to think about my answer.

"Because, you're you. I disagree with you, I think you're beautiful and still have a hot body. It's not the body of a twenty-five year old, but I don't think my forty-eight year old body could keep up with a twenty-five year old, anyway. True, we don't see eye to eye on every issue, but we do on the ones that really matter. We raised two wonderful children, and I'm looking forward to being a grandfather one of these days. I think, though, the biggest reason is it's just so easy being with you. I can be me without worrying about being judged for what I am, or am not. When I look at you I see the woman I married all those years ago, and still feel lucky that you said yes. I want to grab you, kiss you, and make love to that forty-seven year old body because you still turn me on." I could see that she was somewhat surprised. "So, if this discussion is over, I think it's high time I show my wife just how much I do love her."

With that, I took her by the hand, led her to our bedroom and did everything in my power to show her what she truly meant to me. I'm not sure, but I think we reached new heights—I sure as hell did. We fell asleep together, before finally separating sometime during the night. I hoped I dispelled any fears she might have had that night, but I guess I was wrong. I don't think she was intentionally pulling away from me, but I did notice it even more now that I thought about it.

Waiting for my session with Dr. Cohen I regressed back to that fateful night for the umpteenth time. I don't know how many times I replayed Mandy's confession in my mind. Some days it seemed to consume my every waking moment. I thought about my initial shock and anger, thinking I shouldn't be too surprised over their intensity, considering I'd been blindsided. Maybe she was tired of our humdrum life style and wanted a change. More than a few things she said that night cut me to the core. I probably could have handled it better, but at the time I felt hurt, betrayed, and most of all angry—I still am. 

I hoped Dr. Cohen got what he wanted out of it. I know I did. Writing it all down sure as hell opened my eyes, and believe it or not once I wrote it, it made me feel a little better. What do the professionals call it—a cathartic experience? 

We talked about my family, especially my father, and my other relationships growing up and in my teens. I waited for almost forty minutes before finally saying something.

"Doc, how about what I wrote? My list, what did you think?"

"Steve, what do you think about it?" Another damn question being answered with a question. 

"You had me write it all down: my issues, my feelings, the whole ball of wax. Don't you have anything to say about it?" He looked at me for a couple of moments.

"It was done to give you insight into yourself. We can't solve anything until you understand what your real issues and problems are, and I think you now are starting to do that. I want you to keep a journal of your life. Put down your emotions, thoughts, anything else that affects your life. We can review them, or not, it's your choice. I'll see you again in two weeks." That how that session ended. I was dazed and confused. I took his advice.

The next two weeks were a blur. I worked, I ate once in a while, but mostly what I did was pound on that frigging keyboard. I poured my guts out on that stupid screen. My wife and kids were still on me to talk to them, but I was on a mission. My understanding is that Mandy was now seeing Dr. Cohen too, and according to Dawn never in a million years thought it would have gone this far. How stupid does she think I am?

Finally, we got to it. Finally, we talked about my list of issues and my journal. He asked me what I had learned.

"A lot," was my quick reply. "I realized that there had been cracks in our relationship for years only I never saw it. Looking back on our life I was happy, but can see now she couldn't have been. I guess it was just a matter of time before she started to spread her wings."

"The issue now is, what do you want to do? Do you want to reconcile with your wife, or go in a different direction?"

"Doc, if she isn't happy with me now, what's going to change six months down the road?" 

"Couples counseling can be very effective in cases like yours, especially since it hadn't reached the sexual level. Also, considering the number of years the two of you have been together, it may be just what is needed at this point."

"Even with that being the case, there are issues and things that happened I still haven't been able to get over." 

"Steve, healing takes time. You can't expect to wake up one day and find every one of your problems have been solved. However, with both of you working at it, I'm pretty confident you can resolve your differences." I wasn't so sure. "Steve, write Mandy a letter explaining all your concerns and issues, tell her why you're not together. Maybe in that way you both can see where the real problems lie. It just might give the two of you a starting point in which to begin the healing process." 

Over the next couple of weeks I tried to take his advice. I wrote the letter to Mandy and kept adding and changing it. I never sent it to her, but in retrospect probably should have.

Once a week I got an e-mail from Mandy asking if and when we could talk.

"Hopefully soon," is the only reply she got from me. Our lives went on.

Work was almost back to normal. The people there had stopped asking about Mandy. I went stag to the company summer picnic, staying long enough to get something to eat and make the social rounds before leaving. 

Mandy e-mailed and asked me if I wanted to go with her to a social function at the college president's house. 

My quick response to her was, "What do you think?" To myself I thought, "What was she thinking?"

At our next session I handed it to him.

"It took me almost five weeks and cost me a hundred dollars to get it professionally edited but I think it was worth it."

"Steve, what is this?"

"It's why Mandy and I are not together." He looked down at the papers I had given to him. "I'm also working on two other things that have been bouncing around in my head." He looked a little surprised. 

"I never expected... I guess you took to heart what I said." He smiled and for the first time in a while, I did also. It was all down in black and white. In print no less!

You see, a good friend, Carla, had gotten me in contact with a professional editor after I sucked it up and let her read what I'd written. I had to have someone read it because I was busting at the seams and needed some type of feedback.

"You wrote this?" Carla asked, after finishing it.

"Every last word."

"Bullshit, Steve, I've know you most of my life and there's no way you could have done this, at least not by yourself." I proved her wrong. She took it two steps further. She had it edited, then sent it to a magazine.

When I got the letter three weeks later, I knew that none of my friends would ever see it unless they were bored to tears sitting in a doctor's or dentist's office. I sure as hell weren't going to bring it to their attention. I was more than a little proud of myself considering what it contained and the number of hours I had spent on it. I wanted to submit it under another name or just 'anonymous', but was told that wasn't allowed, so I used my first initial and last name.

The first call I received was from a teacher friend who I hadn't seen in a couple of years. It was one of Mandy's former co-workers.

"Steve, this is Becky, Becky Sanders. I know it's been a while, but I'm holding a magazine in my hand and I want to verify something, if you don't mind?"

"No problem, but I already know what you're going to ask, and the answer is yes."

"I told my husband it was you. I guess congratulations are in order." I listened for a minute or two before telling her I had to leave and thanked her for the call. I took my phone off the hook.

What I had given Dr. Cohen was a short story I'd written about my life, starting with the night of Mandy's confession. I must have rewritten it fifty times, and by the time I'd read and reread it a thousand times I could repeat it word for word. I thought it was perfect, it had to be, but the editor still made a dozen or so changes before he were satisfied.

Thursday night just before eight o'clock I turned my cell phone back on and saw I had fifteen messages, four of them were from Mandy. Maybe tomorrow I'll answer them. I'd like to say I slept peacefully that night, but I didn't. My mind wouldn't shut down. Every time I closed my eyes I thought about something else, or in most cases Mandy. I finally got up, watched a little television, then climbed back into bed. It worked this time, except it was now two forty-five in the morning.

All I wanted to do was to get through Friday afternoon without any crisis. I planned on spending a quiet evening home alone, with my grill, a sixteen-ounce porterhouse steak, and a bottle of wine. I almost made it.

"Not bad, not bad at all," was all Barry said on his way out. "Has Mandy read it yet?" I tried to play dumb. "Steve, I'm not an idiot, besides my wife gets every magazine known to man."

"Considering the multitudinous amount of messages I've received from her, I have to say yes."

"I'd love to be a fly on the wall when the two of you finally talk. You make any decisions yet?" I shook my head, no. "Well, keep me posted, and get the hell out of here before anyone else finds out." He didn't have to ask me twice. I picked up a bottle of wine on my way home. 

It wasn't the New Yorker, rather a well-known local literary magazine. They didn't pay me a million dollars to print it. Just them telling me it was good enough to publish made it all worthwhile. My soul, my life, and my very being, were laid out on those pages. People would read it for its literary value, but a select few, those who actually knew me, would see it for what it really was, my blueprint towards reconciliation between Mandy and me. I felt a little twinge of guilt, airing our dirty laundry out there for the world to see, but everyone who knew us already knew there was a problem, if not exactly what it was—now they did.

I unplugged my house phone because I didn't want to be disturbed that night. I had my copy of the magazine opened on the table next my plate. I constantly glanced down at it while I ate dinner. I could probably have made it a bit shorter if I had wanted. Most of the story was just background and supporting details. Hell, there were only a few paragraphs that told the story of the events of that awful night. Here is what I could have written in one short essay—or should I say exposé.

******** I had heard it all that night. The half-truths and what she hadn't bothered to share with me all those months. There were no real reasons given, just excuses for what and why it happened. There were regrets, maybe even a few tears thrown in for effect, before she eventually told me it really wasn't as bad as it appeared, well, from her perspective anyway. 

It wasn't a young jock that had swept her off her forty-seven year old feet. More so a middle aged, married man, with too much spare time on his hands, and an itch to do something about it. They just talked. She said he was intelligent and genuinely interested in what she was teaching. They talked, they laughed, they developed an emotional bond, thus giving him something that was by rights mine.

All her friends and colleagues were highly educated, and without sounding crass, also condescending snobs to all those without a Ph.D. behind their name. I had tried for years to fit in, if only for the sake of my wife. Having them continually talk down to me, only made me despise their arrogance that much more. When she had made mention that her new friend was highly intelligent and interesting, I felt the knife slip silently in between my fifth and sixth rib. A piece of me died that night. She had become like them, her dear friends, her fellow Ph.D.'s.

For months I waited. The word 'love' was still thrown out there along with the phrase, 'I really miss you,' but never once did I hear what I was looking for. Phone calls were replaced with text messages. Lastly e-mails became our only form of contact. We had become uncoupled, disconnected from one another. Through her actions, I became disengaged from my own marriage. 

My marital needs had been simple, I just wanted her. My wife's needs, on the other hand, had become categorized, sorted, and prioritized. Did they ever include the real me?

We weren't clones of one another. We were never joined at the hip, but I believed what we did have was special. We connected on all levels, or so I thought. Silly me, maybe I was wrong and never saw it. Still, I waited. It never came. A highly educated woman, teaching communication skills, and she had overlooked it. How, I'm not sure, but she had.

So, I put it to paper. Maybe, just maybe she would see it and finally realize what she had missed all these months. 

Is it too late for us? I'm not sure. It will be harder than it would have been, say eight months ago, but the pilot light is still glowing, though growing dimmer by the day. And if and when it finally goes out, I will regret it, even if she doesn't. 

You see, I'm not the unemotional type of person who can make the statement, 'we had a good run while it lasted' and go on my merry way. I will grieve and bury what we once had. Then I will get up in the morning, take a deep breath, put one foot in front of the other, and go on if for no other reason to prove to myself that I'm still alive. It doesn't have to end this way, though it probably will. 

I must not have meant that much to her, because in the end, like the title of this little story... She Never Said She Was Sorry.

'****************

I felt my stomach tighten. Every time I read it I felt the same way, lost and empty. I still wanted Mandy with me, but on my terms now. I didn't use our real names in my story, in fact I didn't use any names, but those who intimately knew us wouldn't need names. As I said, my friends would never read it, not that they weren't educated, only that no one I knew subscribed to any literary magazines. Mandy's on the other hand, probably either subscribed to it, or would regularly read a college copy.

Saturday I slept in late, until almost ten thirty, which for me was practically a new record. After a leisurely breakfast on the patio I called my two kids. They both lambasted into me for not returning their calls and wanted a full update. They didn't like what I had to say.

"Dad, you and Mom belong together. I can't imagine the two of you not together." Dawn badgered me until I promised her I would call Mandy this week. Ronnie continued to insist I was being pig-headed, agreeing with his sister that his mom and I belonged together. In my heart I agreed with both of them. I told them I would try do better in the future returning their calls, but what did or didn't happen between their mother and me, was up to the two of us only. On one hand they understood where I was coming from. On the other they let me know, in no uncertain terms, that any decisions made still affected them—they were right on the mark with that. It was apparent they hadn't seen the article.

I puttered around the house, watched a Netflix movie, and about seven o'clock went to Tony's for dinner. I was bored. I was used to having a partner, my bride, with me. Even if we didn't talk, she was still there and I missed that. In bed at night I would watch her silently read, I could touch her, watch her lips turn up when she told me it was too late, and to go to sleep, before returning to her book. A peck on the lips would signify the end of our evening, wherein I would drift off to sleep still facing her. Sometimes I would wake up, look over at my clock and ask her why she was still up.

"I just have a few pages left," was her normal reply. I would fall back to sleep. I missed that and so much more.

Sunday I took my mom to brunch. She was talkative and wanted to know absolutely everything. She told me I'd lost weight, and that I should stop over more often. She never mentioned Mandy by name, but kept referring to my situation, which she hoped would soon be resolved. Knowing my mother, it must have been killing her on the inside. I took her home and asked if there was anything around the house that needed attention, she said no. We talked, or should I say, she talked for another hour and then with a kiss I was gone. Now what? I spent the rest of Sunday on the computer adding to and correcting another story I'd started, which I thought was pretty good.




Room with a View



Monday morning Barry swung by my office. "Have a good weekend?"

"Surprisingly, yes," I told him.

"Good, maybe you can find a way to speed up production on the KZ1500. I've sold two more than we currently have in stock." 

I told him I would see what I could do. By the end of the day I stuck my head in his door and informed him that those two units would be done by the end of the following week. He smiled through lips clenching that dirty old pipe in his mouth, which he never lit. 

"It's nice to have the old Steve back."

At eleven fifteen I got a call on my cell.

"Steve, Dr. Cohen." I'd recognized that dry monotone voice without him saying who he was. "I was wondering if you could come in at about three thirty today to see me."

"I'm not scheduled until Thursday, is there a problem?"

"Your wife asked me to call you, to see if you would be available for the session she has scheduled for this afternoon."

"Why didn't she call me?" 

"She said she has, but you haven't returned any of her calls." He was right about that.

"Did Mandy say what she wanted to talk about?" I asked, knowing fully well what it was.

"No, just that she'd like you to be here, if possible."

I didn't have anything scheduled. "Sure, why not, tell her I'll be there."

"Thank you, Steve, I think this is a step in the right direction." I wasn't so sure. My stomach immediately started to tighten up.

I drove slowly over to Dr. Cohen's office. When I arrived I looked down at my watch and saw I had ten more minutes until the appointment. So I sat in my car, looking out the window going over and over what I had rehearsed over the last two months.

I watched Mandy pull up and walk briskly into the building. Looking down at my watch I had five minutes left. At three twenty-eight I got out of my car and headed in. I thought about coming in, you know, fashionably late, but that only works for social events, and this certainly wasn't going to be one of those. His secretary told me to go right in, they were expecting me.

"Dr. Cohen, Mandy," I said greeting the both of them while I silently debated where exactly to sit because there weren't a lot of options in his office. I picked the chair directly across from Mandy. 

"Nice of you to join us, Steve," he said. Mandy continued to stare at me. "Why don't we begin? Mandy, you asked Steve to be here, why don't you tell him why?" 

"I think Steve knows what I want to talk about. How could you?"

"How could I what?" was my immediate reply, playing dumb.

"Write what you did? Everyone I know and work with has read it. Why in the hell did you do it, for Christ's sakes?"

"Wasn't it well written? If not, they sure as hell wouldn't have put it in their magazine," I said, now staring back at her. 

"Now everyone knows my personal business."

"Our personal business." I corrected her.

Dr. Cohen intervened at this point. "Mandy, was it accurate?"

"Not totally. I was not having a damn affair. I had started a friendship with one of my adult students that went a little further that it should have."

"Jesus Christ, Mandy, the way you're describing it, it's like you asked him to be a friend on your Facebook page. Let's tell Dr. Cohen about the hand holding, the kissing, and everything else, shall we?" The anger was rushing back like it had that night. I began talking more rapidly and a lot louder.

Mandy leaned in towards me and shouted back, "What everything else are you talking about? There was no everything else, why can't you believe that?

Dr. Cohen immediately stepped in. "Please take it down a notch. We all understand there was a problem." 

"Is a problem," I added.

"All right, is a problem," Dr. Cohen amended. "But not talking about it isn't going to get us anywhere."

"I've tried to talk to Steve, but he won't open up, he ignores me." 

"Is that true, Steve?"

"I see her lips moving but nothing new comes out, only the same bullshit I heard from the first night. It seems it's everyone else's fault but hers. I'm tired of all the lies and excuses. For once why don't you tell me the fucking truth or as God is my witness, I'm out of here for good." There, I'd finally said what I was there to say. There was about twenty seconds of sheer silence as we all waited. Dr. Cohen started to say something, but Mandy interrupted him.

"I said it was inappropriate, I'm not denying that, but it never went as far as you are imagining it did. There was dancing, some kissing, and when his hands went too far I stopped it. I never gave him a damn blowjob or let him take me to bed no matter what you think. Steve, I wasn't looking to replace you, it's just that he was—well—interesting."

"And good looking?" I added, not even knowing what he looked like.

"And good looking," she agreed, looking at me. "To me, what was more important, as a teacher, was that although he was getting good grades he wanted to do better."

"So, he thought sleeping with the teacher would get him that?" I snidely added. Anger flashed across Mandy's face.

Dr. Cohen, again, took back control. "Steve, please let Mandy finish. You can have your input when she's done." He looked at Mandy "Please continue."

"As I said, Rick wanted to do better, so after class we would go over his work, in detail. I would show him his weak areas and discuss what he could do to improve them. It started with just a couple of minutes but kept getting longer and longer. Pretty soon we found they were locking up, so we went to the student union and had a bite to eat while we continued our discussions. I didn't see any harm in it, and I sure as hell wasn't trolling, as you so eloquently described it in your story. After a couple of months we became friends of a sort." That comment brought forth a sinister snicker from me.

"Steve!" Was all Dr. Cohen had to say.

"I'm sorry, but it's starting to get a little deep in here."

"Steve, nothing inappropriate happened. When he got an "A" on his next two papers, he took me to Murries on campus to celebrate. There were a million other people there. We had at the most two drinks and danced a couple of times, that's all."

"Then Mandy, when in the hell did all these loving feelings for him start to develop?" I was getting impatient and tired of waiting while her story was being laid out for me.

"Steve, I never said love, I said feelings." 

"Mandy, you're splitting hairs."

"Steve, we sort of became close. Then we started talking beyond what was happening in the classroom. We talked about our lives outside of the classroom, and it kind of mushroomed after that. But please, hear me. I will say once again, I swear, I never had a sexual relationship with him."

"When was that going to happen? A week, a month, or after our conversation that night?"

"Steve, I wanted to be upfront with you. Maybe I shouldn't have been. I was feeling things about Rick I shouldn't have been feeling, and I was torn. Steve, you were the only man, in the last twenty-eight years, I ever had those types of feeling for. I was confused, and for the first time, scared. I needed your help."

"Help, what kind of help? I still don't have a clue what you wanted from me then or even now. The only advice I would have given you would have been to end it, before it even got that far."

"Look, it was something new and exciting. It was something like a high school crush. It was all talk, but when I found Rick wanted to take it to the next level I got scared. And as I told you, I did end it."

"Mandy, nothing just happens. Even when you tried to explain it to me twice you said the same thing. He was intelligent and good-looking. Were you insinuating that I am not?"

"Steve, I never said you weren't smart or good looking."

"Not in so many words, but I've felt it for the last couple of years. Your high and mighty friends always implied it, and they finally swayed you into believing it. It must have shocked the shit out of them to see I'm not a total idiot, after all. I'm enjoying that part of it more than you can possibly imagine."

"But at what price, Steve? Everyone now knows our business."

"So? What's your point? My friends are never going to read it, and yours, well I couldn't care less, if you must know." It crossed my mind that this session may not have been going like Mandy hoped it would.

"Mandy, do you want to say anything to Steve?"

"Steve, I thought I'd said this to you before but I guess I wasn't clear about it. I am so sorry. I'm sorry for what I started, for how it effected you, and I'm asking you for forgiveness." She sat there quietly waiting for my response.

"Steve, do you have something to say to Mandy?"

"Sure do Doc. Mandy, why are you sorry? What was missing in our marriage that you had to look outside of it to fill that void? I don't think I can move forward until I find out why." 

Mandy tried to say again that she wasn't looking and hadn't done anything. I stood up.

"When you can truthfully answer those questions, I'll talk to you again but not before. I'm sick to death of hearing that nothing happened. For Christ's sakes, if nothing happened we'd still be living with one another. When are you going to get it through your fucking head that you were unfaithful to me? You may not have been physically, which is still open to debate, but you put him in a place where only I was supposed to be. Until you admit that to yourself we have nothing to say."

At this point Dr. Cohen reminded me to think back to what I had discovered from my lists and journal writings about the actual state of our marriage. 

"Mandy, it seems we just stopped paying attention to each other. I don't know why, but I am unable to get past that night to even begin to address how to put this marriage back together. I don't know what I want anymore. I just know right now I need to get out of here this minute before I explode. Dr. Cohen, I'll see you Thursday." I could sense the insurmountable frustration in that room from all three of us. We were so stuck and I knew it was because of me, I just didn't know what to do about it. I just knew that at that moment I had to leave.

Before anyone could say anything I was out of there. I would loved to have heard what was said after I left, but it still wouldn't have changed anything at the time. I had said my piece but succeeded again in accomplishing nothing. 

Thursday Dr. Cohen wouldn't discuss what he and Mandy talked about after I had left. 

"Steve, that's doctor patient privileged information. If you want to know, you can always call Mandy and ask her." I wasn't about to do that. Dr. Cohen went on. "After hearing what you both had to say it seems to me that you have a lot of insecurities about yourself and your relationship with Mandy. Add that to the fact you also seem to be threatened by what you think she saw in Rick and we have a lose lose situation here." 

I thought about what he said for a few seconds and then put it somewhere in the back of my mind out of reach. I told Dr. Cohen what I was going to do. "Let's just say I'm moving on with my life and let it go at that. I'm comfortable with what I've done so far. I need to start looking out for myself."

"Are you saying you're giving up on your marriage?"

"I'm not, but it looks like Mandy has. Until she realizes she did something wrong and why, we can't move on. If anyone was ever a soul mate, she was mine, but not anymore. We've become two different people, and I'm sorry to say what we had no longer exists." I didn't believe that totally, but in my mind I wanted my pound of flesh with a little groveling thrown in.

"I'm sorry to hear that. You know, Steve, every relationship changes throughout the years. Marriages have cycles, and sometimes take on a life of their own. You're not the same person you were in your twenties or thirties, that doesn't make you any better of worse. What I'm trying to say is that even though your relationship with Mandy isn't the same as it once was, it doesn't mean it has to end. I seem to recall Mandy telling you she was sorry, she tried to explain how it all happened, and I believe you know the reasons why. You have boxed her into a corner and whichever way she turns she can't get out." 

"That may be true, yet I can't seem to move forward. Every time I close my eyes I imagine the two of them together. It makes me angry and sad, and it makes me sick inside. I don't know how to stop being angry. What I do know is that I have to do something to take care of myself."

Haven't you learned anything from your writings and from our time together?"

"I thought I had. I guess I am not ready to let go and forgive. I just need more time to figure this out to move forward. I don't know what I want from Mandy or even from myself, I just know I am not getting it from either of us." 

Dr. Cohen cleared this throat and addressed me again. "Well, only you can make that decision." We used up the rest of the time discussing what I had decided to do, and although he wasn't in agreement he understood. You see, I finally decided what I was going to do. I was going to do nothing. If she wanted a divorce she could initiate it because I wasn't going to. The one thing I was going to do was start separating our lives. 

I canceled all our joint credit cards and split our finances down the center. I wasn't sure what to do with the house, but that conversation was bound to come up eventually. I kept the same cell phone number but opened up my own plan. In a matter of four to five hours it was all done, two lives spent as one had become separate and distinct.

"Dear Mandy," is how I started my e-mail to her, explaining in detail what I'd done and why. "We're on two different planes right now. I don't see us getting back to what we used to have." I rewrote it a number of times, but in the end, it always said the same thing only a little differently. I told her I am trying to find a way to forgive her and I wished her well, but in my heart I wasn't the same man I was eight months ago when this all started. When I finally hit enter I started the grieving process. 

No meds or alcohol for me this time—I was going cold turkey. My two children called me two days later and told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I told them I didn't disagree with them, only it was my mistake to make, and yes, they had finally read my story.

Everyone was sorry, but gave me the breathing room I requested. Mandy however. wasn't taking it lying down. For such a smart woman she still didn't have a clue. It didn't matter, I was moving on with my life, if not emotionally where I was still stuck, then for sure physically. And, although I said I forgave her, who was I kidding, I really didn't—I couldn't. 

Eventually Mandy and I stopped having any contact—no calls, e-mails or text messages. It was as though we both stepped off the face of the earth. My wife, soul mate, and best friend was gone. I guess she finally gave up trying. The emptiness hurt more than I could possible have imagined. But day by day it got better, and even though I had relapses now and then, they became further and further apart until one day, four months later, they all but stopped.

My first blind date was a frigging disaster. I wasn't ready to date. I had been pushed into it by a couple of my close buddies who wanted to see me get out of the house.

They sold me a bill of goods. "Steve, she's cute and you have a lot in common."

Let's see, we were both members of the human race, ate food, breathed air, and that was about it. Abby was a chain smoker, a heavy drinker, and let it be know within the first five minutes of our meeting that I would be getting lucky at the end of the night. I didn't partake of her highly rated professional talents, which, in the end, pissed her off. Dropping her off at her apartment I answered, "No, I wasn't gay." She slammed the door in my face. But eventually even dating got easier.

By the seventh month my weight stabilized, and I was making it to work everyday. I found myself frequently hanging with a group of casual friends I met one weekend. It was just a group of single people who got together once during the week and on Saturdays, when they could schedule some event. There were no real girlfriends or boyfriends, but a couple of them dated outside our weekly get-togethers. I was becoming comfortable being around single people again.

No matter how uneasy I was with it, I forced myself to do things outside of my comfort zone. When someone suggested skydiving I about shit, and thought I'd done just that on my way down during a tandem jump. When everyone wanted to watch all the idiots' bungee jumping off a bridge over a local river, I found myself strapped in a harness and going over the top of the bridge on a dare. That only happened once.

"What crazy things are you planning on doing this weekend?" my buddy Joel asked after work on Friday. 

"Just having a barbeque at my place tomorrow."

"Boring! I thought you would at least be taking flying lessons, or picking yourself out a motorcycle by now."

"I don't have that kind of money, and besides I've gotten most of that shit out of my system. Trying it once, and surviving, is as far as I'm going to push it. I think steaks on the grill with a few glasses of wine is more my speed right now." And it was. It was fun and exciting to try a few new things but I wasn't young and foolish anymore, even though I might have liked to think I was.

I was starting to lament, kind of wish, that Mandy had dumped me earlier in my life. I was forty-eight and a half years old, living by myself, and trying my best to relive my youth, or should I say my wild twenties again. Hell, the first time I had sex with another woman she about killed me.

It wasn't a budding romance, or tender lovemaking, more like a friend with bentifits. Dinner, a couple of drinks, and before I knew it, I was stripped naked, being asked to fuck her harder. I don't even remember kissing her or having much, if any, foreplay.

"I needed that," is how our post coupling chat started. "You know," she said. "You're not half bad. I think with a little direction you could be better than average." 

Be still my heart, better than average? I hadn't been graded that low since I was a junior in high school, and even then I chalked it up to nerves. I guess being with only one woman all this time kind of stunted my creative juices. But hell, I was willing to learn, and there were enough eligible women out there who were more than happy to teach me what they liked.

I was driving home from what was another bad date when my mind kicked back to a more pleasant time in my life. I'd taken Mandy to the same restaurant years earlier and had one of the greatest evenings of my life. It was her fortieth birthday, and we did it all that night. Dinner, old people dancing, and tender lovemaking until almost two in the morning, is how the evening started and ended. The next morning I served her breakfast in bed, and then joined her for a couple's shower before returning to our bed for another hour or two. Those were the days. I felt a rush of sadness come over me and maybe a tear or two dropped from my eyes. We really did have some great times. I sent Mandy an e-mail that night. "Just thinking about you," was all it said.

I still saw Dr. Cohen once a month. We would talk about where I was at, but mostly he would just listen and take notes.

"You still seeing Mandy?" I asked, prior to starting one of our sessions.

"Not any longer," was his quick reply. "She worked out her issues, and felt she no longer needed to see me."

"I guess she got over me a lot faster than I'm getting over her." I bemoaned.

"Steve, are you perfect?" Dr. Cohen asked, putting his note pad on his lap.

"What? I don't understand the question."

"It's a simple question. I just want to know if you think you are perfect and incapable of making a mistake?"




Room with a View



The city loomed large from this vantage point. The river was visible and cut the view into foreground and background. The view must have been a major selling point; it was spectacular and fit the eclectic taste of the home's new owner. He invited me to visit for the "25 cent" tour. 

The house has two apartments, a larger upstairs with no access to the patio but still a stunning view, and a smaller apartment with the same view and direct patio access. Yes, he took the smaller one bedroom and leased the upper for an income stream.

I imagined making love in his bed looking out over city skyline. What kind of orgasm could he give me and would he even want to have me in his bed? I started to weave my web. 

Richard and I are workmates and over time became good friends. Some think we have an office romance going on; however, that is far from the truth. We are about the same age, early 30's and in good shape from working out in gyms, bicycling, and jogging. Richard has a rugged continence although I know he has soft spots. I said we were good friends. He is not in any kind of relationship right now and I have every intention to change that.

I am not what people call an "A-lister," but I am a good B+ or maybe A-. I turn heads in a crowd and get every kind of proposition thrown at me. I cannot stand groping guys and their stupid one-liners they think are sexy. Richard, on the other hand, knows my soft spots and me. If he gave me a stupid line, I would melt into his arms then into his bed.

"Hey, Richard, lets skip our plans tonight and just sit here, watch the sun set, and sip some wine. You and this view together more than equal a night out. Besides, it saves money." I knew Richard preferred inexpensive nights to hitting the nightspots. My web is under construction

Maybe my tone was too seductive and too overt as Richard replied with a warm smile, and twinkle in his eyes. "Bobbie, you always know what I think before I say it. I would love to just sit here with you and sip wine. I have steaks to grill if you want, or order out."

Meat was definitely on the menu but I was not thinking about grilling it. "Lets grill, cook slowly so the meat soaks up flavor. I like a warm pink center." Suddenly, talking about grilling sounded sexual.

"Good, we both like it the same way. Now, how do you want your steak cooked?" 

Holy shit, Richard was turning the tables on me or we were both trying to seduce the other. "Richard, I am talking about s t e a k," I spelled, "not s t a k e. What evil is working in your head?" I should have said mind.

"Just checking, Bobbie, I wanted to make sure we were not channeling mixed meanings. You get an 'A' for spelling. And, I am not thinking evil but you do get me thinking." 

I stepped closer to Richard, close enough to place my hand on his and looked into his eyes. I saw in his eyes what my body felt. "Richard, imagine where this dialogue might go if we were sipping that wine you promised." I wanted to let my passion flow, wrap him in a hug, and kiss him with all the passion and lust I could muster, friends with benefits, I thought.

"Oh, I think I can imagine." He smiled and winked knowingly then took my hand to lead me to a bottle of chilled wine. It sparkled in my glass, tasted sweet and fruity, this was a good wine. The bottle was green resembling a German Mosel River wine and the label confirmed it. It was Cochem Spatelasse.

"Richard, this is a seduction wine. I mean seductive. Well, it works for me." We began playing on double meanings and I knew where it would lead.

"Bobbie, let me suggest something, think before you speak. You might lead me astray with your slips of the tongue." If he wanted a slip of the tongue, I would not need any more wine, my juices were flowing.

I set my glass down, stepped directly in front of Richard, threw caution to the wind, and gave him a kiss with a little slip of the tongue. "I hope you liked the appetizer, Richard. There is a full course meal later." I picked up my wine and sipped cautiously.

I clearly had not misread Richard's signals because the next move was his. He drew me into his arms and kissed me as a man kisses a woman he loves. There was no slip of the tongue, we were tongue dueling and both were the winners.

I had no plans for later, I only thought of now. "Richard, take me to your bed, I want your piece of s t a k e," I spelled again. 

We wasted no time getting our clothes off and I was pleased to see Richard with a nice cock. Not as big as some I have had, but nice in length and girth. It looked like the perfect size. There was no foreplay, we needed a release as quickly as possible and when that cock touched my clit, I tensed feeling my orgasm already building. Then it was in me, all the way in me and I was right, it was perfect. It touched my soul, rattled my brain, and massaged my g-spot. 

We both felt our mutual orgasm build together. Richard and his perfect dick pounding me. It was a lust filled fuck that had us fighting for every bit of pleasure we could attain. Richard pulled my legs high and locked his arms behind my knees. He spread me wider than I had ever spread. I screamed out his name as my orgasm exploded in my pussy and rocked me into semi consciousness. Then he came filling my womb with his manly essences. He pushed against my hips sinking his cock into me giving me pleasure I could not measure or comprehend.

We remained joined as we basked in the afterglow. Richard was not softening in me, he was just as hard after his huge cum as he was when he entered me. "Are you okay, Bobbie? I don't want to hurt you." He kissed me tenderly as he started to get a new rhythm going.

"You are absolutely wonderful. Did it sound as if I was hurting? I feel your cum seeping into my secret passage and I feel your cock working me up to another cum. Don't stop until I tell you, and don't expect me to tell you to stop."

Richard was giving me the best sex of my life; I did not want to get out of his bed or let him get out of me. His pace slowly built until we were both moaning full of desire and lust. I mashed my face to his, kissed him through our moans and cries. I begged him, pleaded with him, "Please, Richard, please, don't stop, oh god, please don't stop." 

I did not care about his view any longer; I only wanted to feel his cock. The evening sun was golden on the horizon and I was on the horizon of another major orgasm. I felt Richard's cock expanding as it filled me with his cum, then I detonated in the most perfect orgasm of my life. I gripped his cock with my vaginal muscles as I felt his first blast of cum hit my cervix. 

I was wonderfully full of cock and cum, but all good things must end. Richard softened in me and soon my pussy only held his cum. We stared into the others eyes seeing a mix of satisfaction and sated lust. Then came kisses that are more loving and snuggles. 

With the sun now a mere speck of light on the horizon, Richard stirred from our snuggle. "Bobbie, you are an amazing woman and I want this night to continue into the morning. Are you up for it, I mean okay with it?"

"Richard, I am okay with it but you are the one who has to be up for it. I am getting hungry for that steak now, but I bet it won't be as good as the meat I already had." I wondered how much more sex Richard could give and how much more I could handle. I realized how much I needed the toilet, "Richard, start the grill, I really need to use the bathroom. You know, freshen up a bit." We had to break our embrace and it was a slow and reluctant disentanglement. As soon as I stood, Richard's cum began oozing from my cunt mixed with my cum. I quickly darted for the toilet. I swear I heard Richard laughing at the sight.

I was in the bathroom for about ten minutes. I had to give my pussy a good wash and quickly sponge off the abundant scent of sex. I came out with no concern about being naked. Richard was on the patio, in a darkened corner equally naked. I went to him and we wrapped in another embrace. I felt his hardness and marveled at his quick recovery. 

"We have time for a quickie, Bobbie," Richard breathed seductively in my ear. I noticed the patio table near the grill, grasped Richard by his cock, and pulled him to the table. 

I bent over the table and exposed my pussy and butt to him and with little effort, Richard fed me more dick. I tried being quiet; however, Richard was such an accomplished lover, I could not restrain myself very well. I felt my moisture running down my legs as I gushed a huge amount of cum from the perfect massage his cock gave my g-spot. Then it happened again, Richard discharged into my waiting pussy. "That was the best quickie I have ever had, Richard."

When I could finally stand, I turned to him, locked him in an embrace, and kissed him fiercely. My legs were soaked with the cum that squirted from me and I felt a trickle of his cum seeping from my pussy. I sank into a patio chair waiting dinner. I left a wet puddle on the chair cushion.

Richard cooked a perfect steak that was filling and energizing. We ate in the dark, naked on the patio, our conversation laced with heavy sexual innuendos. We finished eating leaving plates and utensils for tomorrow. We both needed a shower and shared one together.

Still naked, we sat in Richard's darkened living room watching the glow of city lights in the night. We sat side-by-side arms wrapped around each other gently kissing and exploring our bodies with sensual touches. The silence between us, our kissing and touching, and the city scene stretched out before us was hypnotic. The events of this played in my head, how could Richard and I continue our work lives together after this night of the hottest and best sex a woman can expect?

I turned to face him directly, his cock was full and ready, and I was empty and ready. I straddled Richard's lap and eased myself down taking his cock into me. With a deep sigh, my pussy expanded to accept his perfect tool. I wanted to feel him in me and made no move except to rock my hips and rub my clit against his root. After the massive orgasms he already gave me, I was ready to control the moment to just enjoy my feeling of fullness without the ritual in and out.

As I rocked against his root, I kissed Richard deeply then looked directly into his eyes. With a sigh, I broke the silence, "Richard, I feel your cock touching my inner most secret places and I can't get enough. I am the most satisfied woman in town tonight and it is you who did it." I finished with another kiss as Richard gave my overly sensitive nipples a pinch making me grind hard on his cock.

"We have all night, Bobbie. Take it as slow as you want." Richard pulled me into an embrace. I felt my swollen nipples crushed against his chest. His lips kissed my neck. His hands cupped my butt and guided my movements against him. Time was irrelevant, time ticked by and I had no clue how long we were joined with me slowing rocking my hips and giving my clit a good rub.

I knew I was about to go off, his fuse burned deep in pussy. Richard must have sensed it as well because he began rocking me harder. Knowing it was coming but not expecting it to happen now, I came hard with fury. I saw sparks in my mind's eye and my pussy clamped relentlessly on his cock. I went limp on his lap. Richard had not cum.

I panted deeply trying to recover. "I need you, Richard," my mind screamed but no words left my mouth. My panting was less fast and deep, and Richard was still hard and deep. Words finally came to me and I almost screamed his name as he began pushing into me. "More cum, more, I'm cumming again. Fuck me, Richard, fuck me." He must have been closer than I thought because his cum splashed into me at the peak of my orgasm. 

Richard held me close, our sweaty hot bodies merged into one skin, our sexual essences blended into one soup. Richard kissed my neck with hot little pecks that kept me on edge even as my body calmed itself from sexual bliss. Richard's cock began to soften and when it did escape my pussy, I flooded his lap. 

"Bobbie," Richard whispered, "what happens next?" His question held much meaning going way beyond waking together in the morning. "You excite me in ways my mind cannot comprehend." Richard's warm breath on my neck and his hands massaging my back made me shudder.

I lifted my head, looked into his eyes trying to gage his emotional state. Could we be on the same wavelength? What did I want? What did he want? I knew that I just had an afternoon and evening of the best sex in my life. Is Richard the perfect man for me or just the best lover? Many questions raced through my mind. 

"I don't know what comes next, Richard. I do know that I am perfectly content and completely orgasmiclly exhausted. Maybe it is time for bed...and sleep." 

We slept the night away; I slept soundly and deeply waking to scents of breakfast reaching my nose. Richard called out, "Breakfast soon, Bobbie. Why not have a shower and dress so we can eat." In some ways I was upset that he was not in bed ready for a round of morning sex and in others, I was glad he was not; my body ached and my pussy was sore.

The shower refreshed me and the breakfast Richard served filled and energized me. The hour reached late morning when I left for my own home. We hugged and kissed long lingering kisses before I turned toward the door and left.

Monday morning came; Richard and I arrived about the same time and walked together to our office. "Bobbie," he began, "Thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life." He said nothing about having another. Maybe he was playing cool at work.

"Richard, we did click didn't we. I owe you a weekend at my place." He smiled and agreed.

I began reviewing my tasks for the day when my desk phone rang. Our department chief called me to his office and when I arrived, he jumped up smiling. "Bobbie, congratulations are in order. Corporate have noticed you. You have a transfer waiting, you are moving to headquarters, promotion and nice pay raise. You have to go home, pack a bag and be there by Thursday. Our security will take care of your place here and the company will pack and ship your property as soon as you give me a new address."

Richard and I never had another chance to move our relationship further. Our weekend was a one-off and as I look back on it, I have to believe he knew something was about to happen. I settled into my new job and learned that Richard left the company after I transferred.

We never reconnected and I never found a man to satisfy me in the way he did. 



Room with a View



I was really bummed. It was late Friday afternoon and my flight back home to NJ was cancelled so I had to spend Friday night in Las Vegas and not in bed with my wife. I used to travel there often and never liked staying at a casino hotel because invariably to get to your room you had to run the gauntlet of slot machines and gaming tables with their attendant noise and cigarette smoke. At least I had a room with a pool view (An upgrade due to my elite status with the chain). The pool was not crowded, only a 30-something couple, a few overweight business men, one woman who looked like a hooker and a couple of families with some kids. I turned on the TV, started to watch some daytime talk show and soon nodded off. I woke up a little later and went down to the free light dinner offered by the hotel from 5-7, ate and returned to my room. It was close to dusk (about 6:30pm) and I looked out at the pool. Most of the people had left the pool area, but I happened to see that the 30-somethings were still there. She was on a lounger wearing a black bikini that was a little tight on the top. (Even though she was lying on her back her ample tits were spilling out of it.) He was standing over her and they seemed to be having a heated discussion. 

After about a minute he stormed off slamming the pool gate behind him. She seemed pissed but got up and sat at the pool bar next to a middle aged black guy. He was wearing Hawaiian print swim trunks and had a body builder's physique with arms the size of her thighs. I had a bunch of things to do to prepare for my flight the next day but the scene was riveting: a scantily-clad, deserted (albeit temporarily) MILF and a BBC. I retrieved my compact binoculars from my work gear and focused them on the couple. At first they ignored each other but after a couple of minutes the MILF seemed to be saying something to him and he answered her. An animated conversation followed lasting about 20 minutes during which time she must have had three or four drinks that looked like Margaritas through the binoculars. She chugged her last drink quickly and they both got up to go. When they did he whispered something to her and to my surprise they didn't go to the pool gate but changed direction and headed toward a garden area on the other side of the pool. While the garden kept them from the view of the pool guests, I had an unobstructed view of what they were up to. 

As soon as they were out of sight of the pool, they embraced each other and kissed. His huge black hands were caressing up and down her back and soon they covered her ass and pulled her closer. Her hands were on his ass doing the same to him. After a few seconds of this, her arms went around his neck, he lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. When she was supporting herself he moved his hands up and pushed her bikini top releasing her tits to the evening air. They started to dry hump each other and soon he was slowly walking toward a backless bench. Once there he sat down with her astride him her back to me, he moved his head between her luscious brown tipped white mounds. She threw her head back and from the look on the part of her face I could see in this position she was obviously enjoying the attention the black man was paying to her.

Although I couldn't actually see what she was doing her hands moved from around his neck to in front of her in his lap. His head came from her breasts and from the expression of bliss on his face it was apparent that she was stroking him. This went on for a couple of minutes until he placed his huge dark-skinned hand on her light brown hair and pushed her between his legs. He lifted his ass off the bench and she slid his swim trunks down. Through the binoculars his hard cock looked enormous. She kissed the tip at tentatively at first and looked up at him. I couldn't see her face but I think she might have been intimidated by his size. He looked down at her with a demanding look and she immediately took his cockhead in her mouth and proceeded to slowly take more and more of it. She must have been a good cock-sucker because his angry demanding look changed to pure ecstasy in seconds. He started to hump her face and she responded by bobbing up and down. The pace increased but broke off suddenly. It seemed like they had heard a loud noise.

About this time I happened to turned the binoculars toward the pool, the direction they seemed to be looking at and saw hubby leaving slamming the gate again. Through the binoculars, I recognized that he was the guy in the suite next to me. A few minutes later I heard or should I say felt the door to the next suite slam. He must have been pissed. He turned the TV on so loud that it seemed like mine was on.

In the meantime, the MILF had gotten up and not bothering to fix her bra hurried to see if the coast was clear. She peeked around a corner and saw that the pool area was empty and returned to her lover. He was still seated on the bench with his trunks around his ankles sporting what must have been a 10 inch beer can thick hard on. He grabbed her hand and pulled her down on his lap and soon they were doing it reverse cowgirl. From this position, I could see both of their faces and all of the action. They didn't bother to take off her bikini. She moved the bikini gusset to the side bare her nearly bald pussy and placed his huge black cock at its very wet pink lips. She took him very slowly and as the head started to work its way in she grimaced. They stopped for a few seconds to let her obvious discomfort subside. They resumed and the whole head was inside of her. She craned her neck and looked at him as if to plead for mercy. An angry look returned to his face and he grabbed her tit and deliberately pinched and twisted both nipples. 

I was surprised by her response. Instead of writhing in pain her face contorted as though she was having an orgasm and she pushed down on to his cock in one movement until he was balls deep in her. They rocked in this position for several minutes. About every minute she would throw her head back in ecstasy and her mouth would open wide. She must have cum 6 or 7 times before he erupted in her. When he did he must have shot a quart of semen into her because I could see his thick baby juice dripping around the base of his buried monster cock. She collapsed back into him and craned her neck to kiss him. They stayed this way for a few minutes until she got up slowly off his semi-rigid cock. As it came out it was like a piston and gobs of his semen and her love juices oozed out and coated her bikini crotch and ran down her thighs. She looked around, I presume to find something to wipe herself with, but there was nothing in sight. She readjusted her bikini and offered her hand to him. He bent over pulled up his trunks, got off the bench and held her in his arms. They walked around the garden for several more minutes and as they did I could see her thighs still shining in the twilight with the evidence of their fucking. They finally went back to the pool. The MILF retrieved her cover-up and pool bag from her original lounge chair and they left through the gate and came back into the hotel.

In all about 90 minutes had gone by since the mini-drama started. I listened for several minutes for the MILF to return to her cuckold and when she did she came back with her bull, but that's another story.