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Presence Ch. 01

By: DreamerOne



I opened my eyes. The night's sleep was leaving my body and I was returning to consciousness. With a contented sigh I pulled the covers up beneath my chin and turned on my side. A glance at the small clock on the nightstand told me it was 10 p.m. A good night's sleep without strange, incoherent dreams was a luxury I didn't get to enjoy very often. I hadn't felt so rested in weeks, maybe even months.

Enjoying the feel of the soft sheets I felt like staying in bed all day, but my growling stomach demanded food. Throwing back the covers, I got up and pulled on a pair of jeans I had left on the floor, then went to the bathroom. After I had washed up, I thought I'd go down to the bakery on the corner and get some fresh bread. Grabbing my wallet and keys I went to the door and opened it. I took out the key and was about to put it in the lock when my hand paused mid-motion.

Another one.

There was a red rose, with a card tied to it, taped to the door beneath the peephole. The fourth one this month. Every week, a new rose, and a card with only one single word on it: "Soulmate", "Forever", "Beautiful". Nothing more. No name or anything. Just one word. 

Stepping back inside the apartment, I closed the door and looked at the card attached to the rose. My mouth fell open when I saw the word written on it. 

What the hell...?

It wasn't the word itself ("Waiting") that unnerved me, but what it was written with. The other cards had been written in black ink with a calligraphy pen, but this one was written with what was unmistakeably... blood. Really. Not red ink or anything. Blood.

I stared at the card. It seriously creeped me out. I marched straight into the kitchen and threw it in the trash, then I cut the rose up in two pieces with a pair of scissors and threw it away as well. The other roses were wilted; I had thrown the last one away only yesterday.

I sat down at the kitchen table to eat a bowl of cereal instead of going down to the bakery. The sense of peace I had felt only a few minutes ago had faded. As I thought about it, I realized that the roses must have been delivered in person, and the thought of that just made me even more uneasy.

Whoever it was, it definitely wasn't a fan. Sometimes the company would forward fan mail to me, and granted, they could be pretty damn weird, but a fan had never gone to so much trouble as to seek me out in person and leave flowers anonymously. The notes didn't even refer to my work; they seemed more intimately meant.

There was only one person I knew that would do something like this, but it was definitely not him. He was safely locked away and wouldn't be going anywhere soon. So... who? Who was this person?

* * * * * *

I suppose I should tell you a few things about myself. As long as I can remember, I've loved art in all its forms. I've spent innumerable hours of my life with a sketchbook in front of me, oblivious to anything but the images in my head and trying to make them come alive on paper. In my teens I put my sketches on a personal website, and at sixteen I was contacted by a company who were impressed with my art and wanted to use it.

The company was called Grave Dirt. They produced t-shirts and posters with dark, mostly gothic designs and my style suited them. I started making illustrations for their products, and within just a few years my art was in high demand. I was able to pay for my own education, and sometimes I was contacted by music bands and book publishers who wanted me to do illustrations for them as well. 

Now, at age 23, I was still a very popular illustrator and I was able to fully support myself on it. I worked mostly from home. My apartment had an extra room that I used as my work space. I had a good drawing table and good lighting, which was all I needed to be able to work comfortably. 

I guess you could say that professionally, I was very happy. I made a living doing what I loved more than anything. On a more personal note, however, I had issues. Major issues.

I had my reasons for that, though. I've never really had any friends, but when it comes to my family I'll make a long story short and just say that my mother abandoned me when I was twelve and my father later cut me out of his life for "being a damn queer and a constant source of disappointment and embarrassment." Those were his exact words.

And also, I'd had really bad luck regarding my love life. I'd had four real relationships, each one a bigger fiasco than the other. My first three boyfriends were cheaters, and the fourth one was violent and abusive. After I escaped that last relationship I built up invisible walls around myself. I could project an air of confidence if I wanted to, but on the inside I was nervous and messed up. Sometimes I would bring guys home for a one-nighter, but that was it. I allowed no one to get closer than that.

Ever since that nightmare of a relationship I'd also had a problem with actual nightmares. I'd had them periodically for about two years. They would plague me for weeks on end, then they'd disappear for a month or two only to start again. I was almost beginning to accept that I would never really be free of them.

That was my life at the time. Far from perfect, but my work made me happy and so I was content enough.

* * * * * *

Later that afternoon, I had managed to put the 'secret admirer' out of my head. Thinking I'd get some work done, I went into my workroom and sat down at my drawing table with a sketchbook. The people at Grave Dirt had recently asked me to do a series of zombie themed illustrations. Closing my eyes, I relaxed and an image floated up in my head. Smiling, I began sketching. 

A goth boy and girl are sitting on a bench, making out. A full moon shines brightly in the sky. Directly behind them is a wrought iron fence, and a graveyard. The moon illuminates the graveyard, in which the dead are coming alive and are in the process of escaping their graves. Rotten-looking skeletal hands are bursting through the soil, and the living dead are all approaching the fence, casting long shadows on the ground in the moonlight. One of the zombies is right by the fence, reaching through the iron bars towards the oblivious couple.

I stopped drawing and looked at it. It was a very good start. With good, subtle coloring it would be perfect. And when I was done with it I had several more ideas. I licked my lips. 

Maybe I should sketch them out right now, while I'm on a roll. 

I turned the page. As if on cue, my phone started ringing in the other room. Swearing to myself, I reluctantly put my pencil down and went to answer it.

"Ash! How's it going?" 

It was my friend Jeff.

"Can't complain," I replied.

"Great. Listen, you're still hanging out with us tonight, right?"

"Huh?" 

I heard Jeff sigh.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten? It's Matt's birthday. You said you'd go out drinking with us tonight."

"Oh, right! Right, I'll be there, but are you sure you two don't want to be alone?"

"No, I've made plans for just us later. Tonight he wants to be with his friends. So, you'll meet us at the restaurant in an hour?"

"Okay, see you then."

Jeff and Matt were, except for one other person, the only two people I could really count as friends. I had met them through Tim, my last boyfriend. They were pretty good friends of his, but when they found out that he'd been beating me up they took my side and helped me. Tim ended up in prison, not just for what he did to me, but a whole lot of other shit, too. I'm not ashamed to admit I hope he drops his soap in the shower.

Without the support of Jeff and Matt, I don't know what would have happened to me. I owe them a lot. They are such good guys with warm, open personalities. They have been a couple for more than five years, but they keep acting like they're newly in love. It's cute... in a slightly sickly-sweet way.

* * * * * *

An hour later I was approaching our regular restaurant, Matt's birthday present tucked under my arm. As I crossed the street, I could see Matt and Jeff outside the restaurant, talking to a third guy. As I began walking towards them, the guy hugged Matt and patted Jeff on the arm, then walked down the street in my direction. 

My eyes met his as we were about to pass each other and I stopped. It was Kenji. He stopped as well. His lips parted slightly, but he didn't say anything for a few seconds, he just looked at me. Then he smiled and said hello.

"Hey, Kenji," I said, smiling nervously. "Are you leaving? You're not having dinner with us?"

"No..." he put his hands in his pockets. "I can't. I'm helping out on a case. I just happened to be in the neighbourhood so I stopped by to wish Matty a happy birthday."

"Oh..."

We stared at each other in silence. I hated that it had to be that way between us. So awkward and uncomfortable. Why couldn't things go back to the way they were? Why couldn't he stop looking at me with those sad, brown eyes whenever we met? 

Such beautiful eyes. So velvety and soft...

I quickly looked down at my feet.

I'm not going to look into those eyes. They're dangerous. They can swallow you whole.

"Well... I should get going," he mumbled.

I nodded. Forcing myself to look at him, I smiled weakly.

"It was great seeing you, Kenji."

He reached out towards me as if he was going to touch my cheek, but then he hesitated and instead placed his hand on my shoulder. I still shivered a little.

"You too," he said, almost whispering. Then he lowered his hand and continued walking down the street, and I walked over to where Jeff and Matt were waiting.

Once we got settled in the restaurant and had placed our orders, I nervously cleared my throat and glanced at Matt and Jeff. They had definitely seen me talking to Kenji outside. If I didn't bring him up, they would.

"I haven't seen Kenji in a while," I said casually. "He seems to be doing good."

Matt smiled.

"Yeah. I wish he could have stayed, but he was busy. Apparently the police asked for his help again."

"Yeah, he mentioned that. It was cool of him to take the time to stop by, though."

"He's always been like that," Jeff laughed. "No matter how busy he is, he always has a moment to spare for his friends."

Kenji sometimes helps the police on missing persons cases. He has... abilities. He can sense things, see things. I suppose it depends on your beliefs whether or not you want to call him a psychic, but the fact is that every missing person he's helped search for has been found.

Kenji, Matt and Jeff have been friends since high school. They cheerfully used to call themselves "The Three Gay Musketeers". I didn't get to know Kenji until after that whole Tim disaster. The first time I met him was actually on my birthday, and he gave me a mixed CD he made himself -- filled with my favorite music. Of course, Matt and Jeff could have told him what kind of music I like, but they said they hadn't. And I don't think even they knew that I secretly like Pat Benatar. Blush.

The four of us used to hang out a lot. Until he told me that he liked me -- and I mean really liked me. I turned him down. It wasn't that I didn't like him; I did, a lot, and that was the problem. I was still too messed up from what I'd been through that even the thought of going out with someone scared the hell out of me. So, even though I knew Kenji was a good guy I just couldn't give him what he wanted. 

Kenji stopped hanging out with us after that. I felt really guilty about it. Matt said that it was okay, that Kenji understood why I had turned him down, and that he just needed some space to get over it. I still felt like a dick.

After we had eaten, I handed Matt his present. His eyes gleamed when he accepted the flat, rectangular package.

"Oh, man... You made me a picture!"

"Yup," I smiled. "An Ash Lucas original."

Matt tore excitedly at the gift wrapping. When he had gotten it all off he gasped. 

"Wow... it's beautiful."

The picture was much more romantic and whimsical than my usual stuff. It was of Matt and Jeff, sitting on a rock in the light of a full moon, surrounded by water. Arms around each other, they were staring into each other's eyes. I had made Jeff into a merman, his fin splashing in the water. As an extra cute little touch that I think suited them, Matt held a fishing pole in his hand.

"Thank you so much, Ash. It's amazing," Matt said as he smiled at me.

"Yeah, it's really something," Jeff said as he looked at it. "But..." he pointed at himself in the picture. "How come I have no junk?!"

Me and Matt burst out laughing.

"It's just a picture, you moron," Matt giggled.

"I don't care, I have my pride!"

"You're a merman, Jeff. You'd have junk if you were on dry land," I said, trying to keep a straight face and failing.

"Hmph. Whatever," Jeff grumbled.

"Aw, don't pout, baby," Matt purred, nuzzling at the side of Jeff's face. "I know you're properly equipped."

Jeff smiled and kissed Matt. I smiled at them, silently wondering what it was like to have a relationship like theirs. Of course I could have found out if I'd had the guts to take a chance with Kenji. I mentally shook myself. What's done is done.

Jeff and Matt make a good looking couple. Great, even. Jeff is tall and has thick, brown curls that frame his round face, and has a body fit for the Olympics. Matt is slightly shorter than Jeff, not as fit but still in great shape. He has short brown hair and green eyes. Sometimes he sports a neat goatee but he'd shaved it off for his birthday. They're both a year older than me.

Kenji is the same age as me, though. He's Japanese-American, born in the States. Kenji is... well, lets just say it: he's fucking gorgeous. He has that elegant-looking body type: defined and almost slender. His hair is the darkest brown and always slightly messy. His lips are pouty, almost feminine. He has a slight overbite, which is just adorable. And those eyes... those warm, soft eyes...

Matt and Jeff told me Kenji was still single, though why was beyond me. People always drooled over him wherever he went, and I had figured he'd be seeing someone else by now. As the waitress showed up with the bill, I drummed my fingers against the table, silently wondering if I was ready to finally give a real relationship a try. Kenji would be a great boyfriend.

No! Not gonna happen. I don't want a damn relationship, not even with Kenji. My life is fine the way it is. Completely fine.

* * * * * *

After dinner we swung by Matt and Jeff's place to drop off the picture, then we headed to a club where we met up with some of their friends. As the others were laughing and talking, I let my eyes wander around the club. Here and there, I spotted some really hot guys. I smiled to myself. It had been a while... Maybe a night of smokin' hot sex was just what I needed to stop being so fucking tense.

My thoughts were interrupted as a large arm clumsily draped itself around my shoulders and I wrinkled my nose at a puff of seriously bad breath.

"Heeey, beau'ful," a voice slurred, and I turned to glare at the red, drunken face next to mine. "Whass your name?"

"Ash," I said, then mentally kicked myself for giving the fool my name.

"Ash... wanna see a big one?" the guy laughed, rubbing his crotch.

"Some other time... when you can get it up," I muttered and shrugged his arm off.

"Aw, don't be like that! Ash with the nice ash..." the drunk said, pinching up said 'ash', then somehow managed to trip over his own feet and fell down on the floor. A guy standing nearby hurried over and helped him up.

"Okaaaay Jerry, let's go outside for some fresh air," his friend said, then turned to me with an apologetic look. I shrugged and turned back to the others. They were all shaking with laughter.

"Very funny," I said, flipping them off.

"Oh, come on," Jeff laughed. "He seemed like a real keeper."

"Screw you."

Matt giggled, then tugged at Jeff's arm.

"Come on, I want to dance."

As they were getting up, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Thinking that the drunk was back, I turned around with the intention of asking him to fuck off, but the scowl on my face quickly turned to an appreciative smile. The guy in front of me was mouth-watering: jock-type, with a broad, muscular chest, short blonde hair and blue eyes.

"Wanna dance?" he asked, flashing me a blinding smile.

I got up without a word and led the way to the dance floor. I put my arms around his shoulders, he put his hands on my hips and we started moving, at first to the beat of the music, but as our bodies pressed closer against each other our movements slowed down. 

I moulded my body against his. I could already feel a hard bulge against my hip. The thought made me start to harden as well. Moist lips started kissing along my jawline, then they pressed against my own. I opened my mouth, and his tongue slid inside.

We kissed for a while as we danced, then he pulled away.

"Hey, uh... uhm..." he panted.

"Ash," I informed him.

"Ash. I'm Benny. Listen..." he slid his hands down to squeeze my ass. "I was thinking we could go some place more quiet. What do you say?"

Grinning, I leaned over and ran my tongue over his earlobe, making him give a faint groan.

"Sounds like a great idea," I said softly into his ear. "Just let me say goodbye to my friends and go to the bathroom, then I'm all yours."

"Fuck, yeah."

Smiling, I moved over to where Matt and Jeff were dancing.

"I'm gonna take off."

"We figured," Jeff smirked, "what with they way you were rubbing yourself against that guy."

I hugged Matt and wished him a happy birthday, then hurried to the bathroom. Having taken care of business, I looked in the mirror as I washed my hands. 

My looks weren't what you would call spectacular, but I wasn't exactly butt-ugly, either. I looked allright, I guess. Slightly shorter than average, with a slim build. My eyes were what I liked best about my appearance - dark green, with hints of gray and blue. My hair was naturally brown, but I had dyed it black to suit my preppy-goth style.

I dried my hands, then left the bathroom and went back to Benny. We left the club and grabbed a cab to my place. As soon as I had closed the door behind us he was all over me, mashing his mouth against mine.

"Fuck, you're hot," he whispered before slipping his tongue in my mouth. His hands wandered over my body while his tongue played with mine. He abandoned my mouth and kissed my ear before his lips started wandering down my neck. I moaned and closed my eyes. My neck is so sensitive...

I slid my hands down to his belt and got it open. Opening his fly, I reached inside his underwear and wrapped my hand around his hard cock. Benny moaned in my ear as I began to stroke it.

"Oh, yeah... that's good," he panted, then moaned again when I dropped to my knees in front of him. I was just about to pull down his pants when the decidedly unwelcome sound of a ringtone reached my ears.

"Shit!" Benny groaned and fished his cell phone out of his pocket. He looked at the display and winced. "Hang on, I've got to take this."

I stood up, trying to conceal my irritation.

"Hi, Janie. How was the bridal shower? Already finished? I thought you would be drinking Margaritas all night, or something. What? Playing poker with the boys. You don't have to wait up for me. All right. Love you, too. Bye."

Benny turned his phone off and turned back to me with a lecherous look in his eye.

"Now... where were we?"

He tried to put his arms around me, but I folded my arms in front of my chest and stepped back. He frowned.

"What's wrong?"

I smiled stiffly.

"You have a girlfriend?"

He chuckled.

"Yeah. I'm surprised she didn't give me the third degree just now like she usually does. She's the suspicious type."


Presence Ch. 01



"Obviously with good reason."

He laughed and moved towards me, but I squirmed away again.

"I think we should call it a night right here."

I walked over to the door.

"Oh, come on," Benny sneered. "Don't get all prissy just because I happen to have a girlfriend. Why do you care? This is just a one-time fuck anyway."

"I know that..." I said and held up the door for him, "...but I really hate cheaters."

He didn't move.

"Come on, I know you want this as bad as I do. "

"I'm not in the mood anymore. Good night, Benny."

He buttoned his pants, then picked up his jacket which he had dumped on the floor and moved towards the door. He stopped and glared at me.

"Your loss. Fucking cocktease."

I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever. Nice knowing you, Benny."

He grabbed a hold of the door and slammed it on his way out. I slumped down on the couch and sighed, wondering how come I attract so many assholes. I groaned when there was a knock on the door. I stomped towards it and jerked it open. I was about to yell: "What?! Did you forget something or did you just want to call me a cocktease again?", but I silenced in surprise when I realized the face I was looking at wasn't Benny's.

The man seemed vaguely familiar, but before I could try placing him he pushed his way into the apartment and with a quick movement he locked the door behind him. A reflection of light caught my eye, and I gasped and backed away as I noticed the knife in his hand.

"Please..." the guy held his empty hand out. "Don't be afraid."

"Who are you?" I croaked. "What do you want? Money?"

The guy sure didn't look like a robber. He looked neat and tidy. He had thick, short auburn hair, had a medium build and wore a black coat and pale jeans. If he hadn't just forced himself into my apartment and pulled a knife on me I probably would have found him attractive.

"No, no..." He continued, smiling at me, revealing his teeth. A wide smile like that, on the face of a man threatening me with a knife, made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. 

"I don't want money," he continued. "All I want... all I've ever been waiting for in my whole life... is you."

Oh, crap.

I swallowed nervously.

"Are you the one who's been leaving me roses?"

His smile softened.

"Did you like them? I wanted to do something for you... show you how much you mean to me. So I started leaving the roses and the cards. But... I realized that it wasn't enough, so I wrote this latest card with my own blood, so you would understand how serious I am."

I took a deep breath. This could get really ugly. This guy was clearly unhinged. And not only that, he was much bigger than me and if it came down to a struggle I probably wouldn't be able to take him. I would have to stall while I thought of a way to get away.

"What's..." I swallowed, and tried to keep my voice from betraying how scared I was. "What's your name? You never signed the card with your name."

"It's Ryan... Ryan Patrick."

I smiled shakily at him.

"That's a nice name... So, uhm..."

My mouth fell open. I suddenly realized where I'd seen him before.

"I remember you... you're the photographer! From the exhibition."

He looked so ecstatically happy when I said that, it was almost funny.

"You do remember! I knew you would!"

Several months ago, a museum put together an exhibition featuring the talent of young, local artists: a comic book artist, a graffiti artist, a tattoo artist and me. It had been a pretty big success, and received some attention from the press. There had been several photographers on opening day, but there was one who kept coming back to take pictures of me and my work.

Ryan Patrick.

He took a step closer to me.

"I was so excited that day. I had loved your art for quite a while and I really wanted to meet you. And then..." A tear trickled from the corner of his eye. "I will never forget the moment that I saw you. You were so beautiful... like some sort of dark angel. I felt so inadequate. So unworthy. But then... when I was about to take your picture, your eyes met mine and that look in your eyes... It was so intense. It gave me hope. So I tracked you down, and ever since then I've watched you come and go... waiting for the right time. I was going to wait just a little longer, but..."

His eyes suddenly flashed with anger, and I automatically took a step back as he raised the knife a little.

"I was so angry," he growled, "when I say you with that guy tonight." He ran his thumb over the blade of the knife. "I was going to come in here and teach him a lesson for touching what's mine, but then you threw him out. I understood then that you didn't really want to be with him. You were just lonely. Because you were waiting for me. Right?"

He took another step closer, pointing the knife at me as he kept rambling.

"Isn't that right? Even if you didn't know who I was you could feel me out there... You were waiting for me to come to you so we could be together. Right?"

Too scared to say anything, I just nodded. He took another step closer, then fell to his knees at my feet.

"I knew it," he whispered. "You don't have to wait any longer. I'm here now. We can be together forever."

I took my chance. I swung out my leg, kicking him hard in the chest. He dropped the knife as he bent over, coughing. I ran for the door. I unlocked it with shaking fingers and was just about to open it when I was pulled back. Ryan had already gotten back on his feet and had gotten hold of my shirt. I struggled, trying to pull myself free as I yelled for help, but he wrestled me onto the floor and pinned me down.

"WHY?!!!" he roared, spraying my face with spit, his eyes wide and furious. "Why are you running from me?! I thought you understood! You said you understood! You lied!"

Staring up at his deranged face, I expected to feel his hands close around my throat any second, but they didn't. Instead, he glanced over to where he dropped the knife. Letting go of me with one hand, he reached for it. And that's when I raised my head and bit down on his neck.

He screamed and struggled, and I could literally feel my teeth break through skin and flesh. Blood dripped into my mouth, causing me to choke. I released him and crawled away, coughing and spitting. Getting on my feet, I tried to get to the door, but he threw himself in my way.

He had already managed to get up, and he had retrieved the knife. He stood staring at me, dripping blood on the floor, unmindful of the damage I had done to his neck.

"You're not what I thought you were," he said, his voice hollow. "You're a fake. You tricked me." He glanced at the red droplets on the floor. "I'm bleeding for you. You will bleed, too."

He made a sudden move towards me, raising the knife. Holding out my arms to protect myself, I felt a sharp pain on my right arm as the blade slashed it. He raised the knife again, but I caught his wrist and tried to hold his arm back. 

At this point, I was pretty sure that I was going to die. The crazy bastard was so strong; there was no fucking way I would be able to overpower him. My heart was pounding, and I was terrified, but I sure as hell wasn't going down without putting up one hell of a fight. So I did the only thing I could think of.

I kicked him in the balls.

Because I was struggling with holding on to his wrist the kick was at an odd angle and not very hard, but it was hard enough to make him drop the knife and bend over, groaning, hands between his legs. 

I snatched the knife from the floor. As I did, he lunged towards me with a furious roar... and then he stopped. His face twisted into a pained and mildly confused expression. I looked down. The knife was deeply lodged in his chest. He had thrown himself straight at it.

I let go of the knife's handle. His face was white and he kept staring at me as blood poured from the wound in his chest and started forming a little puddle on the floor. Taking a shaky step back his knees buckled. He fell backwards onto the floor and then lay completely still, eyes closed.

Shaking uncontrollably, mind reeling, I stared at his lifeless body.

"Oh god, oh god, I've killed him... The phone, I have to get the phone and call for help..."

Forcing myself to move, I took a shaky step towards the phone. Suddenly, Ryan's hand shot out and he grabbed my ankle, making a gurgling sound as blood sprayed from his mouth. Screaming, I tried to shake him off, but I stepped in the pool of blood and slipped. I fell down, and my head struck the floor.

Everything went black.

To Be Continued...



Presence Ch. 02



The rain was pouring down as Jeff's car pulled up by my building. The water pounded against the roof of the car and slithered down the windows like liquid snakes. People were hurrying past on the street, huddled under umbrellas. I pulled out my keys from my pocket and grabbed my bag which had been resting on the seat next to me.

Matt, sitting on the passenger seat, turned around to look at me.

"Are you sure you're ready to go back? You could stay at our place while we're away, if you want. Or... we could cancel the trip and go another time."

I smiled and shook my head.

"I appreciate the offer, but that won't be necessary. I'm ready for this."

It had been almost a month since that night when Ryan Patrick attacked me. The cut on my arm had needed stitches and my fall had resulted in a mild concussion, but other than that I was physically fine. Unlike Ryan, who had died from the knife wound to his chest.

I learned from the police that Ryan had a history of severe depression and had been in and out of institutions for most of his adult life. There had been some interest in the press over what happened, but I definitely didn't want to talk to them, and it died down after a while. But still, I had been staying at Matt and Jeff's place ever since. I had not set foot in my apartment. 

But, now it was really time to go back. Matt and Jeff had planned a trip to Italy months ago and they would be leaving tomorrow, so I had decided on going back that day. I didn't want them to have to worry about me during their trip.

"So you're really going back?" Jeff asked, turning around to look at me as well.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I have to. I feel like if I don't go back now I'll never be able to go back at all."

"Okay. Well, we were up there yesterday and checked it out. You don't have to worry about anything, the cleaning service we hired did a good job. Everything looks fine, and they managed to clean up all the..." Jeff silenced.

I smiled at them.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. You just have a good trip."

"We will. Just take care of yourself."

I leaned over and gave them both a quick hug. I pulled the hood on my sweater over my head, got out of the car and hurried inside the building, up to my apartment. I unlocked the door and, with a deep breath, I stepped inside.

The first thing I did was crack open the living room window. The air was incredibly stuffy. I could hardly breathe. I stood by the window, inhaling the fresh air as my eyes took in the room. It felt strange, being back. I couldn't really tell if it felt good or bad. More like... hollow. Everything looked the same, just they way I'd left it that night when I went to meet Matt and Jeff at the restaurant. And... hesitantly I walked over to the spot where Ryan had fallen. Completely clean. I bent down for a closer look. Nothing. Not the faintest hint of blood left anywhere.

Straightening up, I sighed with relief. I had been a little afraid there would still be traces of blood left, but there really was nothing. I tiredly rubbed my eyes. Not so surprising, my nightmares had returned full force since the attack, and I hadn't gotten much sleep this month. The dreams had changed as well. They used to be a weird jumble of disturbing shit, but now it was mostly just the same thing over and over: a repeat of everything that had happened the night of the attack, only in the dream I was the one who ended up with a knife in my chest.

Having closed the window, I went to the kitchen and made myself a mug of tea. After a moment's consideration I put a splash of Bacardi in there as well, then went back to the living room and stretched out on the couch, listening to the rain as I drank my tea. The soothing sound combined with the warmth of the tea made me sleepy, and I soon put my mug on the table, pulled an old fleece throw over me and closed my eyes.

I had just drifted off when a loud crash made me sit up with a start. Confused, I looked around, and when my eyes fell on what must have been the source of the noise my confusion multiplied by ten. The mug of tea I had placed on the table was in pieces -- and still on the table. It hadn't fallen down on the floor or anything. It was shattered, but still on the table right where I'd put it before I went to sleep. The tea that was left in it had spilled down on the floor and some of it had soaked into the carpet. Cursing, I went to get a towel and began mopping it up.

How the hell did it break? Maybe I'd knocked it over or something, turning in my sleep? It seemed unlikely, though, that I could have knocked it over that hard. Shrugging, I put the towel away then started picking up the shards of the mug, some of which were part of Homer Simpson's now broken face. D'oh.

When I'd disposed of the pieces I went and got my bag, and started unpacking my stuff. Having done that, I settled down on the couch with a book. I briefly considered working on the zombie pictures for Grave Dirt, but I wasn't in the mood, so instead I just spent all day on the couch with my book. In the evening I ordered pizza for dinner, and ate some of it while watching a movie. After that, I read the rest of the book and finished around midnight, when I decided to go to bed.

* * * * * *

Groggily, I opened my eyes. It was still dark. Yawning, I looked at the clock. 2 a.m. I had barely slept two hours. Throwing back the covers I sat up, hissing when my feet touched the cold floor. I got up and made my way towards the bathroom, rubbing my tired eyes. I peed, then washed my hands and splashed my face.

I could feel a throbbing in my temples as I leaned over the sink. A headache was something I definitely could do without right now. I opened the cabinet and started looking for some pills when my eyes fell on an object inside the cabinet and I took a step back, gasping.

The card. The little card with "Waiting" written on it with Ryan Patrick's blood. It was there, inside the cabinet, propped up on the shelf against a box of bottle of cologne. But it was impossible. When the cops took my statement I had told them about the card and how I'd thrown it in the trash. I'd assumed they'd retrieved it for evidence. And anyway, the rest of the trash had been taken care of by the cleaning service when they came. So how could the card possibly be here, in my bathroom cabinet of all places?

What's going on? Is this a goddamn joke?

Hesitantly, I reached for it. If this was someone's joke, then that person had a very fucked up sense of humor. I tore the card into pieces, then flushed them down the toilet. I watched as the whirl sucked them down. But then, with a slurping sound, the water suddenly drained from the toilet -- and something dark started bubbling up instead.

It was blood. Thick, dark blood, rising inside the toilet bowl, filling it to the brim and then spilling over the seat. I quickly stepped back as it hit the floor with a loud splash and formed dark red puddle that grew as the blood kept flowing from the toilet. It kept spreading, practically covering the bathroom floor, inching towards my bare feet, closer and closer...

I blinked. Suddenly the blood was gone. The bathroom was completely clean. Not the slightest fleck of blood anywhere, and inside the toilet bowl was nothing but ordinary clear water.

Shaking, I stood there frozen, unable to move.

* * * * * *

When I woke up the next day, I was lying on my couch. I didn't remember lying down and going to sleep there. All I could remember was the blood, spilling from the toilet onto the floor. I got up and went to the bathroom, peeking inside. Still clean.

It had been a dream. Nothing more. I took a deep breath and let it out.

Damn...

I had never had a dream that vivid before. It felt so damn real. I shook my head and closed the bathroom door. Vivid or not, it didn't matter. It was still nothing more than a dream. I went to the kitchen and made breakfast. Matt and Jeff had put some food in the fridge when they were here the other day. I made myself a sandwich, but I didn't really have an appetite and couldn't eat more than a few bites. I wrapped it up and put it back in the fridge, and just had coffee instead.

I went to the living room and turned on the TV, only to switch it off again. I went to my work room and sat down by the drawing table. Picking up a pencil I tried to work on my zombie pictures, but I had barely sketched for twenty minutes before I put my pencil down with a sigh. It was no good. I couldn't concentrate on anything. That dream really got to me. Maybe I wasn't ready to come home after all? Maybe I should have accepted Matt and Jeff's offer to stay at their place while they were away?

No. Instead of freaking out about this, use it. What is it you normally do when the dreams have been worse than they usually are?

Use them for inspiration. I flipped to a blank page on my sketchbook and started sketching out the bathroom. Then I added the blood, welling up out of the toilet and spilling on the floor. Some shading. When I was satisfied, I added black ink, and then color. I only colored the blood, using an amazing, deep red shade.

All done, I stretched my back and looked at the picture. It was pretty damn good. The red of the blood looked fantastic together with the black and the white. I found myself beginning to smile. I felt better about it already.

I shook my head and my smile disappeared. All of a sudden the air in the room felt heavy and stifling. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and a new headache was beginning to blossom between my eyes. I entered the living room, threw open the window and took a deep breath.

I was getting really frustrated. Up until now, there had bee a part of me that had felt sorry for Ryan. I mean, he was sick. But now, my sympathy began to completely disintegrate. He had robbed me of my sense of security in my own home. I had always been able to relax here and be at ease, but now that feeling was gone with the wind. My apartment just didn't feel like home anymore.

I heated up leftover pizza from last night and forced myself to eat it, even though I still didn't have much of an appetite. I hadn't been eating well at all this month. I would have to change that, if I didn't want to become an even bigger wreck than I already was. 

As I ate, I thought with regret about the safe haven my home had once been and how it was now tainted. I tried to tell myself that it would get better after a few weeks or so, but I couldn't quite ignore the little voice in my head that suggested that maybe I should start looking for a new apartment.

In the evening I got a text from Matt saying that he and Jeff had arrived safely in Italy. About an hour later I got a call from Kenji.

"Matt gave me specific instructions to check up on you while he and Jeff are away."

"Matt's a mother hen," I said, smiling to myself.

"Totally," Kenji chuckled. "But that's something I like about him."

"Me too."

"So... are you okay over there?"

I hesitated before answering.

"I don't know. It'll take a while before I'm used to it, I think," I said, trying to make it sound better than it really was.

"Yeah..." He was silent for a moment. "I could come over if you want, or... we could hang out at my place."

"I... no. I'm pretty tired. I'll probably just watch a movie and then I'll try to get some sleep."

"Okay. Well, if you need anything - anything at all -- just let me know."

I smiled to myself.

"You're a mother hen, too, Kenji."

I heard him laugh softly.

"Yeah. Sometimes, I am."

"Bye. Thanks for calling."

"No problem. Take care of yourself."

I had seen a lot more of Kenji since the attack. The police had just interviewed me at the hospital when the nurse popped her head in and told me my friends were there. I expected just Matt and Jeff, but when she let them in Kenji was with them as well.

He later explained that he had been at home when he suddenly had one of his 'hunches': he knew that something had happened to me. He rushed over to my place and had just about had a heart attack when he arrived and saw that the cops had taped off the building. Luckily, he saw a cop he knew, who had told him what he knew of my condition and which hospital I was in. Kenji had called Matt and Jeff, and the three of them waited at the hospital until they were allowed to see me.

During the time I stayed with Matt and Jeff, Kenji stopped by often to see how I was doing. Things were almost like they used to be when the four of us used to hang out. The feeling was incredibly comforting. It occurred to me that I had begun to think of the three of them as my family. The only real family I had ever had. 

I had called my father and told him what had happened, which turned out to be a mistake. He wasn't too concerned, if you know what I mean. Instead, he had hinted that I only had myself to blame. Dressing like I do, creating goth art and being gay are apparently things that make being targeted by psychos inevitable. I was used to this attitude, but it hurt that I had almost died and he still didn't care. Well, to hell with him.

After I finished talking to Kenji, I popped a beer and sat down in front of the TV, flipping through channels, looking for a movie. 'Lost Highway' was on, but watching a David Lynch movie in my current state of mind didn't seem like such a good idea. I flipped past a few more channels and found 'My Cousin Vinny'. Perfect. 

"Fuck you, Ryan," I whispered as I pulled a blanket over myself and settled back on the couch.

* * * * * *

I woke up shivering. Not so surprising, when I noticed that my duvet cover was lying in a fluffy heap on the floor. I must have thrown it off in my sleep. As I reached down and pulled it back up I glanced at the clock. After the movie I had stayed up for a while listening to music and doodling in my sketchbook, and then gone to bed at around 11:30. It was now 2:30 a.m. I sighed to myself and pulled the duvet cover up to my nose, still shaking from cold.

Over a half an hour later I was still nowhere near getting back to sleep. I was wide awake, tossing and turning in frustration. I turned on my back with a frustrated groan. I just couldn't relax. My eyes fell on a spot of shadow in a corner of the ceiling. It was oddly dark. It almost looked solid. And what's more, it seemed to be growing.

I drew in a sharp breath as the shadow suddenly started moving, sliding down the wall and growing at the same time. Then it released itself from the wall and started moving through the room towards the bed. And it grew even more solid, there was no mistaking that the outline of the black shape was that of a man. It was blurred around the edges, like a photo out of focus, but I could make out arms, legs and a head.

The shape stopped at the foot of the bed. Petrified with fear, I stared at it. Even though it was so black, I could almost make out its face. It was almost like staring into the darkness of a deep well and seeing the face of a corpse staring back at you.  

It seemed like forever that it just stood there, at the foot of my bed, watching me. Then, in one swift motion it moved to the side of the bed and I felt hands grasping my throat and pulling me off the bed down onto the floor.

Frantically, I tried prying away the hands that were strangling me, but I couldn't. My hands simply passed through them as if they weren't even there. Fighting to breathe, I stared up at the black shape. Its face was now distinguishable, and I knew who it was. It was the person who had tried to kill me before, and had succeeded many times since in my nightmares. But this...

...this is no dream! It's no dream!

My vision began to blur. I was passing out... then the pressure on my throat disappeared. Gasping for breath, I looked around. The shape was gone. Or rather...

Ryan was gone.

Once I was able to breathe normally again, I frantically dressed and shoved some clothes into a bag along with my wallet and toothbrush. 

I'll call Kenji and I'll stay at his place. I can't stay here.

I grabbed my jacket and was just about to reach for the phone when it started ringing. Looking at the display, I noticed it was Kenji.

"Kenji?"

"I'm outside."

My mouth fell open. I walked over to the window. Sure enough, he was there, standing by his car. He gave a little wave as he saw me.

"Come on. I'll take you to my place."

"How did you...?" I fell silent.

"I had a hunch," he said gently.

* * * * * *

Arm around my shoulders, Kenji guided me inside his kitchen, sat me down and handed me a glass of whiskey.

"Drink this."

I took a sip and felt its warm burn as it slid down my throat.

"Thanks."

During the drive the shock of what had happened had set in. I had glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror and seen marks on my neck. After that I simply stared out of the passenger side window, not saying anything. Kenji drove in silence, without asking any questions, for which I was grateful.

Swallowing the last of the whiskey, I felt myself beginning to loosen up. I glanced at Kenji and saw him looking at me with evident concern. I cleared my throat.

"There's a ghost in my apartment."

It sounded so stupid, as if I was talking about a rat or particularly nasty spider, and I started laughing. It was a weak, joyless laugh that soon turned to sobs. I hadn't cried in a long time. I hid my face in my hands and tried to hold it back, but I could still feel the tears escaping my eyes. I was barely aware of Kenji sitting down on the chair next to me, but when I felt his arms around me the dam burst. I buried my face in his chest and bawled.

"Sorry," I sniffed once I had stopped sobbing.

"It's okay," he said, stroking my hair. "Why don't you try getting some sleep? We'll talk about all of this tomorrow." He stood up. "Come on. You take the bed. I'll sleep on the couch."

He led me to the bedroom. As he was about to leave, I turned around. I did not feel like being alone right now.

"Look..." I blushed, feeling like a total chick as I mumbled, "...could you... would you mind...?" I motioned towards the bed.

"Sure," he smiled.

We both climbed in. Turning on my side, I discreetly sniffed at the sheets. They smelled good. The smelled like Kenji.

"Kenji?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

I deep breath. Within minutes, I was asleep.

* * * * * *

Some time during the morning I was awakened by a noise. I felt a brief flash of fear, followed by relief as I recognized the noise as that of mail being pushed through the mail slot, and that relief was replaced by a different feeling as I realized that Kenji, still asleep and lying on his side facing me, had his harm around me. The feeling was not unpleasant. Not unpleasant at all. I felt warm, safe... and a little aroused.

It wouldn't be so bad, waking up like this every morning.

Kenji yawned and blinked as he began to wake up. Realizing where his arm was, his eyes widened and he quickly jerked it back.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

I couldn't resist giggling a little. 

He sure is cute when he's embarrassed.

He hopped out of bed, grabbed some clothes and rushed off towards the bathroom. A few seconds later I could hear the shower coming on. When he came out of the bathroom I thought I was going to pass out. Dressed only in jeans, his hair was damp and he had a towel slung over his bare shoulders. It was pretty much the hottest sight I'd ever seen in my frickin' life.

"Go ahead and take shower, if you want," he said, rubbing the towel against his hair. "There's towels in the closet. I'll prepare breakfast."

Putting on a t-shirt, he went to the kitchen. I grabbed a towel and hurried to the bathroom.

I'll have to make it a cold shower.

* * * * * *

Once we'd had breakfast, I told Kenji the whole story about all the strange stuff that had happened in the last two days: the broken coffee mug, the weird dream about the card and the bleeding toilet (which I had begun to think maybe wasn't a dream after all), the stifling air, the black shape that tried to strangle me. When I was finished I realized how absolutely ludicrous it all sounded.




Presence Ch. 02



"Maybe I'm just crazy," I said, my voice hollow. Kenji shook his head and smiled.

"I doubt that."

"But he tried to strangle me. Can they, I mean ghosts -- can they do that?"

"Well... I've heard of instances where people have been slapped, been struck on the head, scratched... but I don't think I've heard of a case as extreme as what happened to you. However, I wouldn't say it's impossible."

I didn't feel very convinced. He put his hand on my shoulder and lightly rubbed it.

"Trust me, you're not crazy. I would know."

I massaged my temples with my fingertips.

"If I'm not crazy, then that means that Ryan is still stalking me from the grave. I'm not sure which is worse." I looked up at Kenji. "What am I going to do? Can you help me?"

He took a sip of the same coffee he'd been drinking throughout my story. It must have been cold by then, but he didn't seem to care.

"Communicating with the dead isn't really my specialty," he said. "I can pick up on their energy, but for something like this we are probably going to need a real medium." He drummed his fingertips against the table. "I know the right person for this job. Let me make a call."

He went and got his cell phone, then made the call.

"Hey, Carl! Can I talk to Pinky?"

Pinky...?!

"Uh-huh? Oh... do you know when she'll be back? I need her help with an unwelcome guest. Okay... we'll, have her call me, alright? See ya." He ended the call.

"What's a Pinky?"

"You'll like her. Her real name is Penelope, but nobody ever calls her that. She's the most powerful medium I've ever met. She's out of town right now, but she'll be back in two days."

"Oh..."

"Don't worry." Kenji placed his hand on my shoulder. "She'll help us."

I looked up and my eyes met his.

There's that warm feeling again...

It occurred to me that I had always felt like that whenever I looked at Kenji, but it had been an unwelcome feeling because of my relationship issues. But now... it didn't really feel unwelcome anymore. It felt nice.

"Tell you what," Kenji said as he swallowed the last of his cold coffee. "I'll go over to your apartment and do a little recon, see what I can pick up on."

"I'll go with you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah..." I unconsciously rubbed my neck. "That thing is dangerous. You shouldn't be there alone."

He smiled.

"I'll be fine. Spirits usually aren't as active during the day as they are at night."

"I still want to come with you."

"Okay. Let's go, then."

* * * * * *

Standing outside my building, we hesitated before going inside. Bending his head back Kenji looked up at it, shielding his eyes from the light. Then he closed his eyes and jerked slightly.

"Are you okay?"

He took a deep breath and nodded.

"Can you feel... it... all the way out here?"

"Clearly. I sense his presence." He took another deep breath. "Shall we go inside?"

We went inside and walked up to my apartment. Standing outside my door as I unlocked it, Kenji shivered a little. As we walked inside he quietly gasped.

"It's bad... he whispered. "It's very bad... His energy is so strong... it has seeped into the walls. I can feel it all around us. I can feel anger... coming at me, bombarding me from every direction. He hates me."

"Why you?" I asked quietly. Kenji turned to me with a grim little smile.

"Because I'm with you. He's jealous."

As he uttered those words, a few books fell off their shelf and onto the floor with a loud bang. I jumped, but Kenji just closed his eyes, then opened them again and started pacing around the room with slow movements. He looked strangely pale. At one point he stopped and seemed to be in deep concentration.

"I can see him." He spoke slowly, as if he wasn't talking to me, but to himself. "I can see him hiding behind a corner out in the hall, or on the street outside, watching you. I see him leaving the roses... He was planning to... He was convinced that you wanted him as much as he wanted you, but the thought was there in his head that if you did reject him he was going to..."

Kenji stopped talking abruptly, and his eyes snapped up and looked at me. They were wide and startled.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Look," I said worriedly. "Maybe we should get out of here. You don't look so good."

"Yeah, it's... I can't breathe in here. You're right, we should go."

We hurriedly left. As I was locking the door , I could hear a strange growling noise beyond the door. I did not stop to take a look. Whatever it was, I didn't want to know.

* * * * * *

"Feeling any better?"

We sat in a nearby park, sipping coffee.

"Yeah. I'm okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to make you worried."

I glanced up at him. The color was slowly returning to his cheeks, and he didn't look so shaken anymore.

"Does that happen a lot? Do you always get affected like that?"

Kenji looked down and thoughtfully sipped his coffee.

"Sometimes," he replied after a minute's silence. "Being like me isn't always so pleasant. I mean, I have this great ability to help people, but it comes with a price. Sometimes I have to see thoughts and actions of the worst kind of monsters in this world. People who prey on children, or who get off on the pain of others. Most of the time I can handle it, but sometimes -- like today -- it just hits me like a hammer, and I can't shield myself from it."

I tried to imagine what it must be like to be Kenji, but I couldn't. 

"How do you do it? How can you stand it?"

He smiled softly, looking up at the sky.

"By concentrating on the good parts. You know, I try not to 'eavesdrop' on another person's thoughts and feelings, but sometimes I can't help picking up on a few things, and the things I hear sometimes remind me that the world might be evil people in this world, but there are also good, and if I can help some of these people then I've made a difference."

I stared at him in awe. 

I've never known anyone like Kenji. I could never do what he does. I could never be that brave.

"You're braver than you think," he said, turning his head to look at me.

My eyes widened.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it," he smiled. "But it's something you often think about, right? 'I'm not brave', 'I'm a coward'. You can't help thinking that can you? Well, you're wrong. You're not a coward."

He tried to look me in the eye, but I turned my head away.

"That Tim..." he said cautiously. "He really messed up your sense of self-worth didn't he? Isn't that why you keep thinking of yourself as a coward?"

"Please stop."

I stared straight ahead, trying to ignore the feeling of a lump in my throat.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push. I just want you to know that that's wrong. You are brave, and someday you will realize that."

We drank our coffee in silence.

"So..." I cleared my throat as I broke the silence. "This Pinky person... is she really as powerful as you said?"

"Oh, yes..." Kenji gave a short laugh. "She's remarkable. She's been all around the world, and done some pretty amazing things. People contact her all the time with book deals and TV contracts, but she's happy the way she is, helping people in her own way. She says she channeled Jim Morrison once, but I'm still not sure whether she was telling the truth or just shitting me."

"What's she like?"

He laughed again.

"It's impossible to describe her. She must be experienced. But you will like her. Everyone likes her."

I tried to imagine what someone named 'Pinky' would look like, but I gave up after a few minutes. I have to say I was quite curious about her.

"She was out of town, right?" I got up and threw my empty cup in the trash. "When did you say she'd be back?"

"Her husband said two days, but she might be back sooner."

I nodded.

"So... what are we going to do until then?"

Kenji got up and threw his cup away as well; standing with his back towards me he put his hands in his pockets.

"Well, I was thinking..."

He turned around.

"...maybe we could go on a date."

Huh...?!

To Be Continued



Presence Ch. 03



Date?!

I stared at Kenji, mouth open.

"Are you serious?"

"Well, why not?" he asked, sitting down again. "Your ghost isn't going anywhere, so rather than sitting around twiddling our thumbs, waiting for Pinky, let's go out and do something."

I looked at him in silence.

"If it's the 'date' part you're worried about, we don't have to call it that," he said softly.

I looked down at my feet, scraping my shoes against the ground.

"...okay."

Kenji stood, abruptly.

"Okay as in 'okay, let's go out on a date', or as in 'okay, we won't call it a date'...?"

"Let's go out..." I cleared my throat. "...on a date."

I glanced up at Kenji. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"Okay!" he said brightly, and I felt myself beginning to grin as well.

"So, what did you have in mind?"

"Huh..." he said thoughtfully. "I hadn't thought that far ahead."

I gave an amused snort as he frowned, trying to think of something.

"I guess, first of all, we could go have lunch."

"Okay. You pick a place."

We walked a few blocks, finally settling on a small place where we ordered grilled sandwiches. We sat in a corner and enjoyed our food while making quiet small talk.

"We haven't really spent any time like this, just you and me, before," Kenji said, smiling at me. "It's nice."

"Yeah," I agreed. I looked up, meeting his eyes. The look in them made my heart flutter.

"Can I ask you something?" I said, finishing the last of my sandwich.

"Shoot."

"How come you're not seeing anyone?"

Kenji raised his eyebrows. 

"I always figured you'd be dating someone by now, but Matt and Jeff said you haven't been seeing anyone at all. I'm just curious," I shrugged.

"Well..." he leaned forward, putting his elbows on the table, and looked me deeply in the eyes. "Why move on when you know something's worth waiting for? It's kinda pointless... don't you think?"

I couldn't stop myself from blushing.

"I guess..." I said, turning my head away. He laughed quietly.

After lunch we went for a walk, showing each other our favorite stores. I took Kenji to the place where I buy most of my clothes. He bought himself a black leather jacket, in which he looked good enough to eat. After we left the store Kenji showed me an awesome used bookstore called "Alex's Dungeon", that specialized in sci-fi, horror, fantasy and graphic novels. I could have browsed in there for hours. I was happy to find a short story collection by Poppy Z. Brite that I hadn't read yet.

When they saw me, the two guys that worked there started whispering to each other. As I walked to the register to pay for the book, one of them cleared his throat.

"Hey... you're Ash Lucas, right?"

"Yeah...?" I said, surprised.

"I knew it!" he whispered to the other guy. "I saw you at that exhibition a while back. I love your work. I'm Alex, I own the store."

"I'm John," the other guy introduced himself.

"It's a great store," I said, shaking their hands. "I'll definitely be coming here again."

"Awesome," Alex said, then glanced at the book I had placed on the counter. "Listen, how about a trade: I'll let you have that book free of charge if you'll sign this."

He rolled out a poster from Grave Dirt, of a woman in a Victorian mourning dress, holding her dead lover in her arms. Next to them is his opened grave, a shovel sticking out of it. One of my best designs.

"You've got a deal," I said. Alex fished out a black marker from a drawer and handed it to me. I signed the poster, shook his hand again, then me and Kenji left.

"It feels really glamorous, going out with a celebrity," Kenji smirked, nudging my shoulder.

"Shut up!" I laughed.

We walked around for another hour, then we went back to Kenji's place to drop off our stuff and change clothes, as we were going to dinner and then to the club later. I rummaged through my bag, looking for something to wear. I hadn't really paid attention to what clothes I'd shoved in there when I packed the bag. I was in luck: I had a nice, black shirt and my best pair of jeans. Not too shabby. I ran my fingers through my hair and went out into the living room.

Once I got a look at Kenji I felt my heart beat a little faster. He had on a midnight blue long sleeved t-shirt that clung to his body, black jeans and boots. His new leather jacket was slung over his arm. He smiled when he saw me and stood looking at me in silence.

"You look great," he said after a minute.

"So do you."

"Ready?"

"Yeah." 

I grabbed my wallet and jacket and we left. We had decided to forgo the usual place this time, and had instead decided on a small Italian place. I had mushroom tagliatelle and Kenji had the carbonara. For dessert we shared a piece of chocolate cake and had espresso.

I was really enjoying myself. I was surprised at how easy it was, being out on a real date with Kenji like this. Not once had I hesitated or questioned if I was really ready for something like this. I had thought I would be a nervous wreck, but I wasn't. I was remarkably at calm.

After dinner we went to the club. We sat down by the bar, and ordered a couple of beers. We sat talking, when someone next to me drawled:

"Well, look who's here!"

I turned my head and made a face when I saw it was Benny, the guy from the night Ryan attacked me, standing there with an ugly smirk on his face.

You sure have lousy timing. Asshole.

I tried ignoring him but he placed himself between me and Kenji and put his arm around my shoulders.

"What do you want?" I growled, squirming away from his arm.

"Nothing," he said, leaning in towards me. "Just thought you might be interested in finishing what you started that time."

"Thanks, but no thanks," I said, giving him a stiff smile. He snorted and shook his head, then turned to Kenji.

"Hey, buddy, I wouldn't waste my time on this one if I were you. Worst fucking tease I ever met in my life. You'll wind up with nothing but blue balls for your trouble."

Kenji tilted his head a little and looked curiously at Benny. Then, suddenly he laughed.

"Oh, man! You're in such deep shit!"

Benny frowned.

"What are you talking about?"

"Even as we speak, your girlfriend is going through your computer. She's already found several interesting photos of you and a guy in a Darth Vader helmet." He grinned. "I must say that's a very creative use of a plastic lightsaber." 

I let out a short laugh. Benny paled.

"How did you know...?"

"If I were you, I'd be more worried about what she's going to... oh, wait. She's calling your cell right now."

"I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but..." 

Benny silenced as his cell phone started ringing. He took one shocked look at Kenji, then walked away to take the call. Walking towards the exit, we heard him yell: "No, honey, please!", then he rushed out of the club.

"I wonder what she said to him."

"She threatened to torch his collection of sports memorabilia."

I laughed so hard my eyes watered. Kenji just smiled softly at me. When we had finished our beers he nodded towards the dance floor.

"Would you like to dance?"

"Yeah."

He took my hand and led me out on the dance floor. The song playing was a club mix of some sort, but Kenji just put his arms around my waist, pulled me close, and we started slowly swaying to ourselves, ignoring the music.

Closing my eyes, I pressed myself a little closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder. His hands lightly caressed my back and I could feel him nuzzling against the side of my head. I smiled to myself when I realized that he was smelling my hair.

"Ash?" he whispered into my ear.

"Hmm?"

"I know I was stupid to ask you out that time... I knew deep down that you weren't ready to start seeing anyone, but I lo... liked you too much to stop myself, and I only ended up hurting myself and making things uncomfortable between us. I was wrong then, to do that..." He pulled back a little to look into my eyes. "...but I don't think I'm wrong in asking you now if you're ready to give me a chance?"

I looked at him, that gorgeous man who was gazing at me, his beautiful brown eyes glowing, his lips slightly parted. I ran my index finger over his bottom lip, then leaned over and kissed him, softly pressing my lips against his. As we kissed, one of his hands caressed the back of my neck, and the other softly glided down my waist to come to rest on my hip. Even those innocent touches was enough to make me shudder.

I parted my lips and his tongue slipped inside my mouth and met mine. They glided and twisted together as our mouths pressed harder against each other. He broke this kiss and pressed his lips against the side of my neck, then lightly scraped his teeth against my skin.

"Kenji..." I breathed, holding back a groan, as I pulled away to look at him. "I can't promise that I'll never hesitate... that I'll always feel as unafraid as I do right now... but I want you to know that I trust you... and I'm going to try."

He smiled at me, looking so happy it made me smile, too. He nodded.

"Okay," he said softly.

"So..."

"So?"

I pressed closer against him again, and kissed the spot beneath his ear as I whispered:

"So let's go back your place."

We rode the cab in silence. When we arrived, Kenji unlocked the door and held it open for me. I went inside, and as I was taking off my shoes Kenji's arms snaked around my waist from behind. He kissed the side of my neck as his hands slid up underneath my shirt. They caressed the skin on my belly before moving higher, up on my chest. I gasped slightly when they brushed over my nipples.

Tilting my head to give him better access to my neck, I reached back with one arm and ran my fingers through his hair. I moaned when he sucked on my neck and brushed my nipples again. He moved his hands out from under my shirt and ran them up over my sides, then started unbuttoning my shirt. He slipped it off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor.

Reaching around my waist again, he opened the fly to my jeans and pulled them down. I stepped out of them, kicking them aside, then stepped on my socks to pull them off. Grabbing my hips, Kenji pressed his body against me. I could feel his hardness through his jeans and moaned as his hand started rubbing mine through my underwear.

His hands on my hips, he walked me into the bedroom, then turned me around and pushed me down to sit on the bed. Wide eyed, I stared as he began undressing for me, first shrugging off his jacket and then pulling his shirt over his head. He took off his boots, then unbuttoned the fly to his jeans and pulled them down. He stepped out of them, then removed his socks.

He approached me where I was sitting on the edge of the bed. I put my arms around his waist and pulled him in to stand between my legs. I leaned my forehead against his stomach, then kissed the smooth, golden skin. I planted little kisses all around his belly button, brushing the skin with my tongue.

Kenji pulled me up and kissed me hard. We fell backwards onto the bed, Kenji on top of me. Kissing furiously, our hands explored each other's bodies. He abandoned my lips and moved his mouth to the side of my neck and I moaned as I felt little licks, kisses and bites on my skin. 

I ran my hands over his back, tracing his spine with my fingers down to the small of his back, then slipped my hands inside his underwear, cupping his ass and squeezing. His breath was warm against my neck as he made a little pleasured noise.

His mouth moved further down; he traced my collarbone with his soft lips, then scooted down a little bit to fasten them around my left nipple. He did wicked things to it with the tip of his tongue, at the same time slipping his hand in between our bodies and inside my underwear, to finally close it around my erection. 

"Ah!" I gasped as he started slowly stroking me. His hand felt so good, so good...

"Kenji..." I panted. "I want to see you. Let me see you..."

"I want to see you, too," he whispered. He rolled off me onto his back. Lying on my side, I propped myself up on me elbow and watched as he hooked his thumbs in his underwear and pulled them down. I couldn't help licking my lips as his rigid shaft was revealed. It twitched a little as I reached out and ran my finger along its length.

It's perfect... so hot... so hard.

I sat up. Kneeling on the bed, I stared into his eyes as I pulled down my own underwear and wriggled out of them. Kenji's eyes glowed as he looked at me.

"You're beautiful..." he whispered.

I smiled softly.

"So are you."

Straddling him, I leaned down and kissed him, then began kissing my way down his chest. I briefly teased his nipples with my teeth and tongue, then kept moving further down. I stroked his thighs with my hands, parting his legs so that I could kneel between them. Leaning down, I kissed the base of his cock, then trailed my lips up over the shaft. Taking it in my hand, I wrapped my lips around the head, taking it in my mouth, sucking gently.

"Oh, god..." Kenji groaned.

I ran my tongue over the head, pushing the tip against the slit, then I pushed my lips further down the shaft and, sucking a little harder, I started bobbing my head.

"Nnh!"

I could hear Kenji moaning, and I could feel him running his fingers through my hair as I moved my mouth on his cock. Looking up, I saw him watching me, biting his lower lip. I let his sex slip from my mouth.

"I want you," I whispered, licking my wet lips. "I want you inside me."

"Come here," he breathed.

I crawled up the bed. He gently pushed me down to lie on my stomach and spread my legs. Reaching into the drawer on his nightstand he retrieved lube and a condom. He smoothed his hands down over my back, down to my ass. I moaned with anticipation, closing my eyes when I felt him spreading my cheeks... and when I felt his tongue licking the sensitive skin around my opening, I grabbed a pillow and pressed my face into it to stifle my groans.

Thrills of pleasure raced through my body as his tongue teased my entrance, pushing and swirling around the rim. When it slipped inside I pushed the pillow away, moaning loudly and grabbing fistfuls of sheet. Then he removed his tongue.

"No...oooaah!" My protest to the loss of his tongue became a moan of pleasure as he quickly replaced it with a lubed finger. I squirmed and panted as he stretched me, adding another finger, scissoring them inside me. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore, and I begged shamelessly for him to take me.

"Please...! Please, I need you! Fuck me!"

He rolled me over onto my back. I watched as he rolled the condom down over his cock, whimpering in anticipation as he lowered himself onto me. He positioned himself at my entrance. Caressing my cheek with one hand, he looked into my eyes as he pushed, and when the head popped inside, he leaned down and gently kissed me. It was such a tender gesture, I felt a lump forming in my throat.

He slid into me very slowly, sucking and kissing my neck and shoulder, until he was completely inside me. Then he stilled, letting my body adjust. I looked up and met his eyes, and the look in them took my breath away.

Then he started moving.

No one had ever made love to me the way Kenji did that night. No one had ever made my body feel so alive with pleasure. And I'll say this: Kenji may have psychic gifts, but I'm convinced that even if he hadn't, he would still have instinctively known how to make me feel that good. Just as I instinctively knew how to make him feel good. We were completely in sync. 

He moved slowly at first, with long, sliding strokes. I grabbed onto his shoulders, wrapping my legs around his waist. 

"Unh!" I moaned when he shifted his angle and found my prostate. Nuzzling his lips against my neck, he started thrusting harder and harder until he was pounding into me. I pushed my hips up to meet his thrusts, and dug my fingers hard into his back. I could hear him moaning my name, over and over:

"Ash...aaah! Ash...!"

Sweat broke out on our skin. Our moans filled the room. Heat was building fast inside my body. I whimpered, holding on to him for dear life, biting down on his shoulder. My body trembled... and for the first time ever, I came without having touched my cock.

I screamed and thrashed in his arms, orgasming so violently I almost passed out. I was only vaguely aware of Kenji coming as well, groaning as he held me tight against his body. 

We lay still for a while in a panting, sweaty, trembling pile. I couldn't move, couldn't speak. All I could do was think:

Oh, my god... Oh, my god...

Kenji recovered first; he carefully pulled out of me, and went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. I could hear the shower turning on, then Kenji returned.

"Come on. Let's wash off," he smiled, holding out his hand to me. My legs were still shaky, and he had to help me up, causing us both to laugh. We went to the bathroom and stepped in the shower, washing away our sweat and my release from our bodies, then we dried off and returned to the bed, snuggling up against each other, sharing slow kisses until we finally drifted off to sleep.

* * * * * *

The sound of a phone disturbed my sleep, followed by Kenji's voice. Yawning, I rubbed my fingers against my eyes, then glanced at Kenji, sitting up in bed talking to someone on the phone. He sounded about as exhausted as I felt.

"...yeah, I would really appreciate it. Okay. All right, we'll see you later."

He ended the call, flopped down on the bed with a deep groan. When he noticed that I was awake, he smiled and pulled me into his arms, kissing me deeply.

"Hi," he whispered against my lips.

"Hi," I smiled, stroking his hair.

"That was Pinky on the phone. She came back a day early, and she said she'd see us later."

"Oh..."

I couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. I wouldn't have minded staying in bed with Kenji all day long. Kenji laughed softly and nibbled on my earlobe.

"You know... she didn't exactly specify how much later. She just said not before lunch... so that means we have some time."

Laughing, I shoved him down, and crawled on top of him, straddling his lap. I could already feel him growing. Smiling wickedly, I wriggled my hips, grinding into him. Still smiling, he made a pleasured little noise deep in his throat, then retaliated by leaning up and bite my nipple when I leaned over to the nightstand to get lube and a condom, making me yelp.

"Jerk!" I giggled. He looked awfully smug. "Fine," I said. "If you're not gonna behave..." I rolled my hips, feeling his cock grow even harder, "...then I might as well just sit here..." I rolled my hips again, "...until you do."

"Cruel," he half laughed, half moaned. I rolled my hips again, feeling his cock slide against my crack.

"Are you gonna behave...?" I asked. He nodded eagerly.

"Promise...?"

"I promise!" There was a hint of desperation in his voice. Deciding to stop teasing him (and I couldn't wait any longer either), I scooted back, releasing his cock. Tearing open the condom wrapper, I rolled it down his shaft. Taking some lube in my hands, I smoothed it over his dick, then reached back and lubed up myself. I moved into position, placing him at my hole, then sank down, moaning and throwing my head back.

When I had him completely inside me I was still for a minute, eyes closed, savoring the wonderful feeling. Then I started moving, rising and pushing down, slowly at first, then more forcefully. Kenji held his hand at my hips, helping me move, and thrusting up into me every time I descended.

I needed more. I moved faster, riding him as hard as I could, tightening my channel around his cock.

"God...!" Kenji panted, "You're so amazing... feels so good....!"

I was so close. When I suddenly felt Kenji's hand on my cock I went over the edge and spurt my seed all over him. He pulled me down and pressed me to his chest, my come squishing between us, and thrust up hard into me one more time as he came, filling the condom.




Presence Ch. 03



I lay still in his arms for a while, my head against his heaving chest, feeling his heart beat. Then suddenly, I started giggling.

"What?" Kenji asked, raising his head to look at me.

"Nothing," I smiled. "Just... wow."

Kenji started laughing along with me.

"Yeah..." he kissed the top of my head. "...wow."

* * * * * *

Later in the day, we arrived at the apartment building where the mysterious Pinky lived with her husband.

"Remember," Kenji said before ringing the bell. "Don't give her any information about what's been happening in the apartment. She wants to be able to sense everything herself."

"Okay," I nodded.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

He rang the bell, and I could immediately hear footsteps on the other side. When the door opened, I couldn't help raising my eyebrows in surprise. I had had many ideas on how this woman may look, but none of them were even close to the actual thing.

She was in her early fifties, still quite beautiful. She was of average height, had a round figure and shoulder-length strawberry blond hair. She was dressed in black pants and a silk blouse, and looked very classy and elegant. So I was utterly stunned when the first thing she did was to point at my neck and exclaim:

"Damn! Check out that mother of a hickey!"

I gasped and covered my neck with my hand. Kenji snorted and pursed his lips, holding back laughter. She giggled and leaned over, pulling my hand away.

"I had a boyfriend once when I was sixteen who gave me hickeys like that" she said as she took a closer look. "Where does the time go?" 

She smiled dreamily, then her smile faded a little. She must have noticed the other marks on my neck. Without commenting on them, she held out her hand.

"Long time no see, Kenji. And this, of course must be Ash. Glad to know you, I'm Pinky."

"Hi." I shook her hand.

"Don't you look good enough to eat," she said with a wicked smile, looking me up and down. "What I wouldn't give to be able to see what the two of you did last night... Oh, wait! I can!" she said, closing her eyes.

My mouth fell open and my face turned tomato red.

"She's just kidding," Kenji laughed. "She pretends like she doesn't, but she does have some decency."

"Yeah, and boy, does it suck," she chuckled and stepped aside to let us in. "Come on inside, kids. I'll make us some coffee."

We were seated at her kitchen table, eating cookies as she poured coffee for us. She sat down, and took a sip from her cup.

"Okay, I gotta ask," I said. "How did you get a nickname like 'Pinky'?"

"Well," she chuckled, "this one time in the eighties, the spirit of a fourteen-year old girl sort of latched on to me. She had died in an accident. The poor thing was so sad about things she had wanted to do but never got a chance... so I decided to help her out, like taking her to concerts, things like that. And, something else she always wanted to do was to dye her hair neon-pink. And I couldn't dye her hair, so I dyed my own. That was the last thing on her list. She crossed over after that, and I became permanently known as Pinky."

"Wow. A ghost can latch on to someone? I thought they stayed in one place."

"Sometimes they're attached to a place, other times it's a person. A loved one, or simply someone they come across. They want something to hold on to. So," she said cheerfully. "Kenji said you needed my special services."

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Well, you came to the right place. Give me your hand, kiddo."

I placed my hand in hers. She closed her eyes; after a minute, she opened them again, with a startled look on her face.

"Damn..." she breathed. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes again, this time for a little longer, maybe ten minutes. When she finally opened her eyes she released my hand and shook her head.

"Did you see... everything that happened?" I asked her.

"I saw bits and pieces. I will need to visit that apartment. You have a seriously determined stalker, Ash" she said darkly. "Let me just..." she leaned over and traced a finger over the marks on my neck.

"Have you ever seen anything like that?" I asked.

She lowered her hand.

"I have seen a lot of things," she said. "But no, I have never seen anything like that."

Silence fell for a few minutes, then Kenji cleared his throat.

"So... how do you want to do this?"

"Well..." Pinky pursed her lips thoughtfully. "I think the best thing would be to go there during the night."

Kenji looked up.

"Wait a minute, are you sure about that? It could be dangerous. I've been there, I felt how strong he was."

"Yes, so I think it's best to do this at night. It will be easier for me to get through to him."

Kenji sat silent, a skeptical look on his face.

"Look, Kenji," she continued, "I really think this is the best course of action. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. I've dealt with many malignant spirits before, and I've managed to assist every single one of them to the other side. But I could use your help, if that's okay with you."

"What, you'd think I let you go up there alone? I'm disappointed in you, Pinky."

"Such a gentleman," Pink said fondly.

"Kenji... If you're going, then so am I."

Kenji turned to me, a surprised look on his face.

"Ash... you don't have to..."

"This issue is not open for discussion" I interrupted him. "If you're going, then I want to come with you."

"Then I guess you're coming." He smiled softly and laced his fingers with mine. We sat there for a minute gazing at each other, until Pinky's voice made us both start:

"You two are so damn cute!"

I looked away with an embarrassed smile, but kept holding on to his hand.

"Now," Pinky stood, and began clearing the table. "I don't think it has to be all that late when we do this, something like 11 p.m. will suffice. I suggest you two go home and rest. Helping a spirit cross over can be emotionally draining."

We stood and moved to the door.

"Thanks," I said, turning to Pinky.

"It's my pleasure, kid."

"I hope you're right about this," Kenji said, patting Pinky on the shoulder.

"Don't worry," she smiled. "I can handle it."

* * * * * *

When we finally did take Pinky's advice and got some rest it was because we both passed out from post-coital exhaustion. As soon as we got home we were all over each other. We had sex twice, got a shower, had something to eat, had sex again and then finally fell asleep.

This was new to me. And I don't mean just being horny for someone. This was more than that. It was like now that I finally had a taste of Kenji I simply couldn't get enough. When our bodies were joined it was as if every single cell of my body was crying out in pleasure. The feeling was just... perfect.

When it was time to go and pick up Pinky, we reluctantly hauled our asses out of bed, got cleaned up and headed out. We picked up Pinky at her place and drove to my apartment. I wasn't thrilled about going back there, but I was hopeful that maybe Pinky could fix this and I could have my home back.

As we pulled up outside the building and got out of the car, Pinky closed her eyes and stood still for a moment.

"I can feel him very strongly, all the way out here. Anger... hatred... sadness."

She opened her eyes and looked at Kenji.

"It's intense, I'll give you that."

We went inside. As I was about to unlock the door I took a deep breath. Kenji placed his hand over mine as I pushed the key inside the lock.

"You don't have to."

"I know. It's okay. I can do this."

I tried to give him a reassuring smile, then I opened the door. Pinky rummaged through a big bag she'd brought, and pulled out a votive candle in a glass holder.

"Don't turn on any lights," she said as she lit it. "This candle will be enough. There's a reason things like our friend here mostly go bump in the night: they like the dark."

We stepped inside. Almost instantly the door swung shut behind us with a bang. Startled, we stared at it for a moment, then Pinky handed the candle to Kenji and stepped inside the living room. Like Kenji had done before, she slowly paced around the room, sometimes stopping to touch something or close her eyes in deep concentration.

"You weren't kidding," she said after a few minutes, glancing at Kenji. "His energy is so incredibly strong... it's spread out, into the walls... the ceiling..." She turned to me. "His obsession with you is... I can't describe it. I can hear him whispering about you. One moment, he's talking about loving you for all eternity and the next he says that you're a liar who deserves to die."

Kenji placed a hand on my shoulder, and at the same moment a framed picture flew off the wall. Pinky turned to Kenji.

"I think it's best if you don't touch Ash for now... He doesn't like it, and he's already pissed off enough without us making it worse."

Kenji nodded uneasily, and let his hand rest at his side.

"Yeah... I feel it, too."

Pinky closed her eyes again, then moved towards the bathroom. She peeked inside.

"Blood came up out of the toilet..." she muttered. "...and you found something. Something that wasn't supposed to be here... The card... with his blood on it. You found it in the cabinet."

"I thought it was a dream," I said quietly.

"No... I don't think it was. He made it happen."

She closed the bathroom door and took a deep breath. Then she moved towards my work room.

"He wants us to look in there."

Kenji and I followed her. When I stepped inside I quietly gasped. Several of my sketches and some completed designs were thrown in a heap on the floor, some of them ripped apart. My drawing table was turned over. On the wall facing the window, was written the word 'MINE', in big, black letters.

Looking away from the word on the wall, I stared at my ruined work on the floor.

"Ash...?" Kenji's worried voice broke the silence.

"I'm okay," I whispered. "I can do them over again, it's okay."

It wasn't okay. I poured my heart and soul into my work. It hurt like hell to see them lying there like trash. Taking a deep breath, I turned away and we all left the room.

"Okay," Pinky said, standing in the middle of the living room. "I think that it's best we got down to business now. I'm going to help him over to the other side."

Placing her hands over her chest, she closed her eyes with a deep breath. She stood completely still for a long time, almost as if she was asleep standing up. Then suddenly, her face began to twitch and her body started shaking. She made a pained noise in her throat.

"Pinky!" Kenji placed his hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes. Pushing Kenji aside, she marched up to me, gripping my arms with surprising strength.

"Mine!" she growled. "Get it through your head that you're mine! I'll make you pay for deceiving me, for making me think you wanted me. I'm taking you with me, and we will be together forever whether you want to or not!"

Kenji grabbed her wrists and tried to pry her hands away from me.

"Fight him, Pinky!" he yelled. "You can do it! Fight him! Force him out!"

"Get... out... leave... my... body...!" Pinky groaned, and then fell down on her knees, panting.

"Are you okay?" Kenji asked, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah..." she said weakly, getting up. "He slipped in through my defenses... that's never happened to me before."

"Maybe we should stop now."

"No... I want to give it another try. You help me this time. Hand Ash the candle and give me your hand."

Kenji linked his hand with Pinky and they both closed their eyes. As I stood there watching them, I suddenly felt a strange feeling inside my stomach... and then I was lifted up into the air, flying towards the work room. I caught a glimpse of Kenji and Pinky's startled faces, and then I was dropped on the floor of the work room, and the door swung shut.

I stumbled up on my feet, rushed to the door and tried to open it, but it was stuck. Not even the handle would move. I could hear Kenji pounding on the door from the other side.

"Ash! Are you okay?!"

"Yeah, I..." I turned my head. "Oh, shit!"

"What? What is it?"

"Fire!"

I'd still been holding the candle when I was dropped on the floor of the room. Somehow, the flame hadn't been extinguished and the pile of my ruined sketches had now caught fire, fueled by the wax from the candle.

I moved towards the fire to try and stomp it out, but I was thrown against the wall, and hard slaps rained over my face. I fell down on the floor, and an unseen hand closed around my throat.

"No...!" I managed to croak. Then I felt another hand grabbing on to my hair, and my head was banged hard on the floor.

Dizziness flooded my head. Everything seemed to be floating. I was vaguely aware of shouts, bangs... and then a shrill, ringing sound. I could feel heat. The pressure from the hand on my throat. Stinging smoke in my nostrils. I couldn't breathe. There was an excited growling in my ear... and then I was swallowed by darkness.

* * * * * *

Everything's black.

"Ash!"

He killed me.

"Ash! Wake up!"

He really killed me this time.

"Wake up!"

Kenji...

"Baby, please! Wake up!"

Kenji!

Coughing and gasping for air, I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was Kenji's tear-streaked face, smiling with relief, clasping my hand. We were outside the building. I was lying on a stretcher in an ambulance, and oxygen mask over my face. I could see firemen and people moving around in the background, and Pinky, hovering anxiously by the ambulance. I weakly raised my free hand and gave a little wave, and she smiled at me.

"Don't worry, he'll be fine," a medic said reassuringly to Kenji who nodded, not taking his eyes off me. I squeezed his hand, and drifted off to sleep.

* * * * * *

"So, what happened?"

It was the next day in the afternoon. I was sitting up in my hospital bed, not in too terrible shape: mild smoke-inhalation and a concussion (again) from when my head was banged on the floor. Pinky was sitting in a chair, and Kenji was sitting on the side of the bed, his arm around me.

"Well," he said, kissing my forehead, "I managed to break the door down while Pinky pulled the fire alarm. You..." he stopped and cleared his throat. "You were lying on the floor, passed out. I was afraid you... " He pulled me a little closer. "The fire had spread, to the walls and your drawing table. I picked you up and got you out, and Pinky got the fire extinguisher from the hall and used it on the fire. It was out when the fire department arrived. Your work room is pretty messed up now, but the rest of the apartment is undamaged."

"Ash..." Pinky stood and moved closer. "I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I underestimated him. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." I smiled at her. "It's okay."

She brushed a few tears off her face and smiled.

"So..." I took a deep breath... "Is there nothing that can be done about...?"

"No, I still think I can help him cross over, but I'm going to be smarter about it this time. I have contacts. With their help, it should work. But it's best if you and Kenji don't join us this time."

"Thank god for that."

Pinky left a moment later. Kenji stayed a little longer, still holding me. I burrowed a little closer to him and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"You know I was thinking... regardless of whether Pinky and her friends manage to get rid of Ryan, I'm going to move out. I can't live there anymore, I need a fresh start. I was kinda hoping it would be okay if I stayed at your place until I find a new apartment?"

"Weeell, I don't know... I guess..." he said with an exaggerated sigh. I pinched his nipple through his shirt.

"Ouch!" he laughed. "I'm kidding! You know you can stay as long as you want. If it were up to me, you'd never leave."

"Thank you," I whispered.

He placed his hand in the back of my neck and let my hair fall between his fingers as he kissed me.

"Anytime."

We were quiet for a minute, then Kenji said:

"Have you realized it yet?"

I looked up in surprise.

"What?"

"That you're braver than you thought."

"Oh, that..." I put my head back on his shoulder. "I don't know..."

"You were nervous about going out with me, and you did. You were afraid to go back to the apartment, but you did."

"Well... I wanted to be there. In case anything happened to you."

"You faced your fears. That's bravery. Don't you agree?"

"I guess..." I gave a small smile, then cleared my throat. "Did I ever tell you, that when I gave a statement to the cops about what Tim did to me, one of them... indicated that because I wasn't a woman I should have been able to stand up for myself if my boyfriend was beating me up. He basically said I had myself to blame for letting him do that to me."

Kenji tensed up.

"Let him! You didn't let him do anything! That's complete and utter bullshit!" he hissed between clenched teeth.

"I know, but... it wasn't so much what he said, but the look on his face that got to me. He looked at me like I was the most pitiful thing he'd ever seen. The exact same way that Tim used to look at me. And sometimes... there was a small part of me that thought they were right."

"They're not...!" Kenji began, but I silenced him with a finger on his lips.

"I know that now. I know they're wrong. I've come to realize that, lately."

"How come?"

"Because of you. Because of the way you look at me."

For a moment he didn't say anything at all, he just stared at me. Then, smiling, he pulled me close and kissed me again.

* * * * * *

In the end, I never did leave Kenji's apartment. Months passed, and I decided to stay permanently with Kenji. Why would I want to leave? I was perfectly happy where I was, and he was more than happy to have me there.

I had always thought that it would be scary, being in a real relationship after all this time, and that it would take a huge effort to adjust, but it didn't. It was surprisingly easy. Kenji made it easy. I don't mean that it didn't take any effort at all, but it always felt right.

What happened with my stalker ghost after that night when the fire broke out is something of a mystery. Pinky went up to my apartment with three other mediums a few weeks later to assist him to the other side, but except for some lingering energy, they couldn't sense him. He simply wasn't there anymore. He was gone. Pinky and her friends couldn't say why, but the had theories that he somehow managed to cross over himself. I didn't really care why, I was just happy that Ryan was gone for good.

Matt and Jeff were glad when they found out we'd gotten together, though sometimes they complain that our cuteness level is disgustingly high. This coming from the guys who give each other Eskimo-kisses on a regular basis. 

* * * * * *

It was in the morning on a Sunday. Kenji was between my legs, his mouth on my cock and his fingers inside me, making me squirm.

"Please...! Now..." I moaned. 

Pulling his fingers from my body, he wrapped my legs around his waist and pushed inside me in one thrust. Crying out in pleasure, I threw my arms around him. He made love to me so slowly it was almost torture. I pushed my hips up and pulled at him with my legs and hands, trying to make him go faster; he just smiled and slid in and out of me with frustrating slowness as he kissed and nibbled the side of my neck. Only when he had built us up both to the point of pain did he begin to thrust faster, and it didn't take much for us both to explode at the same time, with loud cries.

"Oh... god..." I panted.

"Uh-huh..." Kenji agreed weakly, then pressed his lips against mine. We kissed lazily for a while, then Kenji rolled off me and pulled me into his arms. I was almost dozing off, when Kenji said quietly:

"I love you."

My eyes shot open and I looked at him in stunned silence.




Presence Ch. 03



"I always have. I don't expect you to say it back, yet," he whispered, smiling softly at me. "I just had to say it."

I cupped his face in my hands and looked deeply into his eyes.

I don't know if I'm brave enough to say it out loud yet, but if you can hear what I'm thinking right now: I love you, too.

His eyes widened, then his mouth split open in a huge grin. He crushed his lips against mine and kissed me practically senseless. Breaking the kiss, he rested his forehead against mine, then flopped down on the bed, still with that goofy grin on his face. And he looked so damn adorable...

"I love you, Kenji."

Huh... what do you know... I was brave enough.

* * * * * *

EPILOGUE

How dare they! They've ruined everything!

He stood watching, filled with rage, as Ash was taken care of in the ambulance. It had been so close...

He's mine! He was supposed to be with me!

With a furious growl that no one heard he moved closer towards the ambulance. A couple of firemen passed right through him, but he didn't even notice.

He deceived me! He must pay!

Then, suddenly, his eyes fell on something and he forgot all about the ambulance. A young man, standing on the other side of the street by a small, curious crowd. Blond hair, slender build, pale skin... He moved over to the boy.

Beautiful... he thought. So beautiful...

He reached out to touch the boy's slender neck. The boy shuddered, and looked around, bewildered. The boy gave a small shrug, then put his hands in his pockets and started walking down the street.

And Ryan followed.

THE END