16 comments/ 17003 views/ 25 favorites Pizza Boy at the Door Ch. 20 By: JKendallDane Finding strength after the accident Kyle sat slumped in the hard chair inside room number three of the intensive care unit at Strong Memorial Hospital. He kept alternating his stares from Josh's unmoving body in the bed to the numerous monitors that were attached to him. Everything the machines were constantly displaying said things were okay, but since the accident had happened more than four hours earlier, he was concerned that Josh had yet to regain consciousness. The emergency room doctors had assured him that the CT scan, multiple x-rays, and other tests that had been done, showed nothing seriously wrong and were diagnosing a 'Grade Three' concussion. Even though he knew Josh being transferred from the ER to ICU for the night was more precautionary than anything else...at least until he came to again...Kyle found little peace of mind. He leaned forward, took Josh's hand is his, and softly begged, "Wake up, Pooh. Please wake up and smile at Tigger." He had just tugged at the large bandage on his arm when he heard the room door open. He immediately stood up when he saw his mother step inside. He was careful of the fresh cast on her right arm as they embraced. She kept hold of her son as she quietly asked, "How's he doing, Kyle? Any change?" "He's doing okay other than still being out cold, Mom," was his first response. "More importantly, how are you holding up?" He reached out and brushed away the newest tear from her cheek, while ignoring the fresh one that had leaked from his own eye. "You really need to be home with Susan and Beth," he added. "Pop is on the way to get me. My mom and your other grandmother are with them at the house." She paused and inhaled deeply before going on. "They haven't told them everything yet. I just hope I have the strength to do it." Her voice was quivering and more tears came. Kyle looked over at Josh again and then turned back to his mom and said, "I'll come with you." His own eyes were also now seeping. "No, Kyle. Stay here with Josh. The last thing he needs to do is come around and be alone." She managed a slight smile to acknowledge his concern and then continued. "Your sisters will understand you not being there and with all the grandparents there, we will be fine." She took his left hand and rubbed the wedding ring on his third finger. "I can't do anything more for my husband, but you can for yours by just being here." Her voice cracked as she finished with, "At a time like this, you think you have to make hard decisions, Kyle. Being beside the man you have pledged your life to, unquestionably tilts the scale though." More tears flowed from both as they hugged again. "Thank you, mom," were the only words Kyle could get out between his soft sobs. "I need to get downstairs and meet your grandfather. He should be here anytime and as late as it is, they will give him grief about trying to get up to the ICU floor." She turned to leave the room but stopped and looked back at Kyle again. "Have you called his parents yet?" "I was going to earlier, but never got around to it. And as late as it is now, and with what the doctors are telling me, I decided to let them get a decent night's sleep instead of being up all night worrying." He managed a grin and added, "And hope that Josh wakes up and can make the call himself instead of me." Diane Roberts smiled at her eldest child thinking how much of a man he had grown into when she wasn't looking. "Good decision, Kyle. Just call them first thing in the morning no matter what. And call us at the house with an update too. Okay?" He leaned over and pecked her cheek. "Yes ma'am. Will do." As he stepped into the ICU commons area with her, he pleaded, "One other thing, mom. Let me give Susan and Beth, dad's message. All right?" She only smiled and squeezed his hand. "Of course I will. It should come from you." Her lips trembled as she added, "The same way the words he gave you for me. That was his way of passing the torch to you as the man of the family." Kyle watched her walk towards the elevator and even though they were barely audible, he couldn't miss the sobbing. Once he had settled back into the uncomfortable chair in Josh's room, he took his partner's hand and raised his eyes to the ceiling. "For whatever reason, God, you called dad home tonight. Please don't let me lose the other man I love with all my heart, too." * * * * * Kyle stirred when the nurse touched his shoulder early the next morning. He only nodded when she asked if he would like a cup of coffee. Somehow he had managed to finally find sleep in spite of his mind constantly racing and the uncomfortably hard chair he had pulled up next to Josh's bed. He knew the hospital was making a huge exception by letting him stay with him in ICU, but Dr. Bennett was both Chief of Staff and a long time family friend and had approved the request. He also remembered the words he used when the head duty nurse questioned the decision. 'He is a second year medical student. He probably has already had nearly as much training as you have. And that is his husband. Case closed.' Kyle realized that there was far more hyperbole than fact in that statement, but he was thankful for the special breaking of the rules that he was being permitted. He had barely swallowed the first sip of the strong coffee the nurse handed him before going back to her station, when he saw Josh's eye lids flutter the first time. He quickly sat the cup aside and gently squeezed Josh's hand. "That's it, Josh. Wake up for me." When those words got another movement of the lids and a mouth twitch, he increased his grip slightly and practically ordered, "Open those beautiful blue eyes for me and say something, baby." He also used his free hand to hit the call button for the nurse. "I think he is coming around," he told her when she appeared next to him almost instantaneously. She began closely watching the various monitors, but turned to smile at him when Kyle looked back to the bed and begged, "At least blink for me, Pooh. Blink for Tigger." As soon as his eyes flicked open, Josh tried to get them to focus. Everything was blurry at first and his head felt like it was in a vise. He tried to speak, but his tongue was dry and his throat was raw from lack of fluid for more than twelve hours. As he forced his throbbing brain to concentrate on the voice he was hearing, his eyes cleared enough to recognize Kyle's form. He managed to finally half smile and mumble, "Thirsty." Kyle instantly grabbed the water cup with the straw sitting on the stand beside the bed. A quick glance at the nurse got him a head nod to let him know it was okay to let Josh have a little. As he worked the straw between Josh's lips, he knew that would be the answer, but didn't want to overstep any boundaries by not getting permission first. He smiled as Josh greedily sucked the water into his mouth. He also managed to pull it away from his lips before the nurse had to tell him he'd had enough. She smiled again and gave him a thumbs up sign for his timing. "Head hurts, Kyle," came from Josh next. "I know it does, baby," he replied. "This wonderful nurse will get the doctor for you and make you feel better. Don't push yourself yet." Josh squinted his eyes from a sudden sharp pain. He looked again to Kyle and asked, "How bad is it?" Kyle's hand gripped his a little tighter before responding. "A dozen stitches and a pretty decent concussion is all probably." He grinned and added, "Would have been a whole lot worse if your sweet little head wasn't so hard." Josh snorted and immediately grimaced. "Don't make me laugh. Hurts!" "Sorry baby," was all Kyle got out before the doctor came in the room. Kyle stood up and dragged the chair with him as he stepped away to the side. He nodded in deference to the doctor, but also leaned up against the wall and crossed his bandaged arms to make a silent statement that he had no intention of leaving the room. The doctor smiled and nodded back...giving him a professional courtesy he didn't really yet deserve. Kyle watched closely as the doctor closely examined Josh. His worries subsided greatly as Josh was able to easily answer the simple questions put to him to ascertain his mental functions. 'How old are you?' 'Who is the President of the United States?' 'What year is it?' Where were you born?' He had to laugh when Josh announced, "I wish finals at school were this easy." Kyle cringed though when he was asked if he remembered what had happened. Josh only replied, "Car wreck. Really bad car wreck. Really bad." The look on his face told Kyle more than what the doctor heard. It was obvious to him that Josh remembered everything about the accident. At least everything until his head made that sickening sound when it slammed into the passenger window and he blacked out. The doctor finally gave his diagnosis. "I'd like to keep you around most of the day just as a precaution, Josh. But other than some throbbing for a few days, I think you will be just fine and can go home sometime late this afternoon." He yanked a thumb towards where Kyle was standing and said, "Pretty sure that guy over there already knows what to watch for in case you decide to become a problem patient." The wink of confidence he gave, made Kyle glow warm inside. "I'll check in on you in a few hours," were his departing words to Josh as he headed for the door. The head tilt towards the hall told Kyle he wanted to speak to him outside of the room. Once out in the common area, the doctor turned to Kyle and inquired, "I assume since you are second year, you have already been through neuroanatomy?" Kyle shook his head yes as he responded. "First class every day last semester. Ace'd it." "Then you know how serious head trauma can be...and also what warning signs to watch for." Kyle was suddenly so worried at what might be said next that he was barely breathing. He chewed on his upper lip and let his eyes speak because he couldn't verbalize what he was thinking. The doctor noticed and spoke quickly to ease the fears. "Calm down, Kyle. I really think Josh being out for so long, was due to the extra hard thump on the noggin he took. His brain bounced around the skull a lot more than it should have, but all the tests came back good and he is showing no signs that worry me. Just keep a close eye on him once he is discharged and get him back to the ER if he starts having mental blackouts or dizziness. You know medicine isn't a perfect science, but I'm willing to say I'm 99.9% sure he will be fine." Kyle finally exhaled the breath he had been holding. Then he remembered the one question he did need to ask. "Doc. How much do I tell him right away about...about last night?" The doctor dropped an empathetic hand to Kyle's shoulder. "You mean about your dad?" "Yeah. I don't want to put any strain on him that I shouldn't. At least not too soon." "Physically I don't see any problem. You probably know better than I do how he will handle it emotionally. He is wide awake now, so it's going to be difficult for you to keep it from him when you go back in there." He paused only shortly before he finished with, "And truthfully, I think telling him will do you a lot of good also. You need his support as much as he needs yours right now." Kyle only nodded before turning to re-enter the room. There were two things he wasn't looking forward to dealing with in the next half hour: Telling Josh about his dad, and the necessary phone call to Josh's parents back in Florida. * * * * * Josh was much more animated when Kyle walked back in the hospital room. He was sitting up in the bed and "I'm hungry," were his first words. As Kyle reached for the nurse call button to request breakfast for him, Josh stared at the bandages on his arms. "Looks like you got banged up good too." Kyle settled back into the hard chair again and forced a grin. "Ended up with more stitches than you did. I got cut up crawling around in all the broken glass inside the car." He stopped and silently warned himself to take this slow. Josh didn't give him much of a chance since his next question was asked immediately and pensively. "How about your mom and dad?" Kyle took the easy way first and replied, "Mom has a broken arm and some cuts too. A bunch of mine happened when I helped her get out of the car through the broken windshield. As soon as I had her out, I sent her up the embankment to wait for the emergency squads." He wasn't ready to talk about his dad yet and decided to divert Josh. "I had already made sure you had a good pulse and were breathing okay, so I pretty much just left you hanging in your shoulder harness. I knew the door was hopelessly jammed and I wasn't about to take any chances with trying to wrestle you around and drag you through all the broken glass in case there were any spinal or neck injuries. They had to use the jaws-of-life on the car so the paramedics could get you on the backboard before they removed you." Kyle went quiet and waited for the question he knew was coming next. After a long, uncomfortable silence between them, Josh asked, "What about your dad, Kyle?" The look on his face said he wasn't certain he wanted to hear the answer. Kyle looked down to his lap where he was nervously twisting his hands together. When he finally raised his eyes again, the moisture in them was obvious. He scooted the chair even closer to the bed and gently hugged his husband as he spoke. "He didn't make it, Josh. He died in my arms in the front seat." A new flood of tears he thought he had already emptied himself of, came yet again as Josh pulled Kyle's head to his chest. "Oh my gawd, Kyle," Josh said as he began slowly stroking his lover's thick hair. "Tell me anything but that. Please. Anything but!" He was at a complete loss of what else to say or do, so he only continued holding Kyle's head tight to his body while he drained his sorrow on Josh's hospital gown. When Kyle's sobs and tears finally subsided, he raised back up and gave Josh a tender kiss before settling back into the chair. His mood instantly changed from grief to anger. "The son-of-a-bitch that hit us was drunk off his ass. The state patrolman that interviewed me here at the hospital late last night, said he tested almost three times the limit. A motherfucking, irresponsible drunk murdered my dad and they call it 'an accident'." Josh reached out his hand to take Kyle's. He might be the one in the ICU bed and hooked up to all the monitors, but he knew it was his turn to be the one providing the physical and emotional support. "Kyle, you said you were with him when...you know...when he..." "The word is 'died' Josh," Kyle instantly snapped. Just as quickly, he squeezed Josh's hand and begged forgiveness for being so short. "I am so sorry, baby. It's just that I can still hear the words he said to me while I held him. And watching his eyes and feeling him take that final breath." Josh waited a moment and then asked, "Do you want to talk more about it right now? " "Yeah, not only do I need to, but one of the messages he gave me just before he died, is for you." Kyle somehow managed a smile as he thought of the words he had been given for each member of the family...and 'the family' included Josh in his dad's last minutes. "I already gave Mom hers last night, and will tell Beth and Susan what he said for each of them when I see them later." Suddenly Josh cut him off. "Wait a minute. You mean you have been here at the hospital all night? You haven't seen your sisters since this happened?" "Where else would I have been, Josh?" "With your family," he declared. Kyle ran the back of his hand lightly over Josh's badly bruised cheek and said, "You are my family too, baby. And you became the most important part of it a few days ago when you said 'I do' in that helicopter. I was right where I should have been. Beside my husband's side until they were certain you were going to be okay. Even Mom said this was where I needed to be when I told her last night I would go home with her to tell the girls." Josh allowed himself to smile a little as he realized the words showed just how deep Kyle's commitment to him was. "Okay. Point made that you love me as much as I love you. Go on with what you were saying." "After he told me what I was to pass on to Mom and the girls, he somehow managed to lift my left hand up so he could look at the ring. And then he smiled at me, Josh. He knew he was dying and still smiled. He had noticed both of our wedding bands when we got home from Niagara Falls, but didn't say anything. Then he said he had a special message for you." Kyle was noticeably choking up as he repeated the words to Josh. 'You tell the young man that goes along with this ring that I don't think my son could have ended up with anyone any better...and that I loved him just as much as the man he married.' At that point Josh broke into tears along with Kyle. "Dammit all to hell. I am going to miss him almost as much as you, Kyle," came out in between the sobs. Once both the guys had the emotions semi back in control, Kyle brought up the next thing they needed to deal with: Calling Josh's parents. "You call and get my dad on the phone. I am sure in no mood to deal with her right now." Josh thought for a couple of seconds and then said, "In fact, let's not even bother until after I'm discharged and call from your parent's house instead. I just have a feeling that call won't go well and want more privacy than we have here." Kyle only nodded his head since he had sidetracked himself thinking about everything they would be going through over the next few days. Getting married and having to bury his father in the same week wasn't something he could have ever imagined. When he had shaken the thoughts from his head, he pulled out his cell and said, "Let me call Mom and give her the good news about you. She probably spent half the night crying about dad, and the other half praying for you." * * * * * Kyle left the room about an hour after talking to his mom. She was indeed happy to get the news about Josh, but wasn't completely satisfied until Kyle let him talk to her too. He smiled as her remembered how good a job Josh had done at expressing his sympathy to her along with alleviating her motherly fears for her new son. He was even more proud remembering how Josh had responded when he mentioned his mom had an appointment at the funeral home in a few hours. "Call her back right now and tell her to pick you up so you can go with her," had been the demand. "It's not like I'm alone here and I'll be fine. It's something you need to do, babe. Face facts. I love you, but your mom needs you more the rest of the morning than I do." Even if he had wanted to argue about it, Kyle knew Josh was correct. 'Just part of why I love him so much,' he thought to himself. 'He might only be nineteen, but there is the wisdom of a ninety-year-old in that blond head when there needs to be.' He also knew deep down already, that the 'old, wise Josh' was probably going to surface many more times before this nightmare was all over. * * * * * Sitting in the funeral home office and making the initial arrangements had been difficult. The many memories that came rushing back while they gave the undertaker Jack Roberts' personal and business history for the obituary was even worse. Going through the process of selecting a casket, based on color and linings as if they were simply picking out a new sofa for the living room, was the worst. After Kyle and his mother were finally finished with the unwelcome but necessary tasks, they headed towards the house so he could use her BMW to go back to the hospital and hopefully get Josh. They both managed to laugh when his mom said: "I'll use 'the mistress' if I absolutely have to go anywhere." His dad had always jokingly referred to his classic 1976 Mercedes 450SL roadster that way...the implication being that while it was really good-looking, it was very temperamental, wasn't at all dependable, and far too expensive upkeep wise to keep around as an occasional driving fling. As both he and his mother would learn over the next few days, it was only one of many good memories that would provide them some smiles and a momentary reprieve from their grief. Pizza Boy at the Door Ch. 20 * * * * * The doctor was just finishing up with instructions for Josh when Kyle walked into the ICU room shortly after 2pm. "I've been freed, but they are making you my parole officer," was his happily made comment. Kyle shook his head and smiled big before he hugged him. "I don't think I would be surviving this if I didn't have you to make me laugh inside and remind me that life goes on," he said after breaking the embrace. The doctor smiled too and then said before he headed for the door, "He is all yours, Kyle. Get him to put on some clothes and get out so we have the room available for a person that really needs it." Josh paused as he started retrieving his clothes from the closet though. The bloody spots he saw all over his suit, shirt, and tie as he pulled them out, reminded him how serious the accident had been. It also reminded him of the loss Kyle's family had suffered. As he began dressing, he asked, "How's your mom holding up?" "Better than I expected to be honest, Josh. In fact, she did better at the funeral home than I did." His expression was suddenly very solemn again. "I know Dad's gone, but I don't think it will really hit me until we get to the house and I realize he is never coming home again." Josh only had his pants and socks on, but he shuffled over to Kyle to hug him. "Just tell me when you need me, babe...and even when you don't. I'll understand." Kyle nodded and then said, "Let's get a move on, baby. I have to have the 'big brother talk' with Beth and Susan, and you absolutely can't put off calling your parents any longer." As he looked at all the dark splotches on the shirt Josh was now buttoning, he added, "Plus tomorrow is going to be real busy...including the two of us going to the mall to get something to wear during visitation hours and at the funeral. Both of us only brought one set of dress clothes and mine are as trashed as yours." * * * * * Josh's mother answered the phone with a cheery 'Hello' on the third ring. Even with what all had happened, he still had no desire to talk to her yet and borderline coldly said, "It's Josh. I need to talk to Dad." He despondently shook his head at Kyle as he heard her say nothing but: 'Jim. Your youngest son is on the phone and wants to talk to you.' After exchanging a few pleasantries with his father, Josh quickly launched into a condensed version of the accident and his night in intensive care. There was little more than a loud gasp and 'Oh my gawd' when Josh told him that Kyle's father had been killed in the wreck. In the background, he could hear his mother regularly peppering 'What's wrong?' - 'What's going on?' - 'What's happened?' inquiries at his dad. He obviously had his dad's complete attention though, as he impatiently shushed every one of them with: 'I'm finding out!' After being reassured for the third time that Josh was basically okay, Jim Thomas began his questions with, "Why the hell didn't anyone call us last night? I would have thought at least the hospital would get in touch with your next of kin if you were unconscious and they thought you were seriously enough injured to stick you in ICU." Instead of taking the easy way out and explaining how Kyle and his mom had been tied up in the ER being treated too, Josh decided to shoot the elephant in the room first. "Umm...probably because my next of kin was already here." "What in the hell are you talking about, Joshua?" roared back from his father. Josh sucked in a deep breath and then said, "Kyle was already there at the hospital. We got married three days ago, so he is legally my immediate next of kin." He rapidly added, "The only reason he didn't call you last night was it was so late and he didn't want you guys up all night worrying. It's not like you could have done anything and anyway, I'm okay now. I just called mainly to tell you we will be up here in New York an extra week because of the funeral." At both ends of the phone call there was nothing but dead air for a moment. At least until Josh heard his mother's voice say, "What on earth has that pervert gotten him into now?" Josh then overheard his father do something he had never done before: swear in anger at his mother. "Shut the hell up with that kind of talk, Pam! Dammit! Whether you want to deal with it or not, Josh is gay and they are married now. Legally! And dig out some of that Christian love you profess so often for your new son. Kyle lost his father and almost lost Josh last night too. Holy shit woman! Find your fucking heart and trust it, will ya?" The stillness of dead air in his ear returned and remained until Josh heard only two more things. His dad; obviously off in the near distance; lovingly saying, "I'm sorry honey, but you are going to lose him forever if you keep acting this way," and the soft crying of his mother. Josh hit the 'end call' button on his cell and looked at Kyle. "I think dad has his hands full right now. I'll call both of them back later." Kyle was pretty sure Josh didn't realize the smile on his face was caused by hearing him use the words 'both of them' in the promise. * * * * * The next half dozen hours flew by like being part of a DVD movie stuck on fast-forward. There was an endless stream of visitors dropping by...many with food in addition to their words of emotional support. In between shuttling the incoming dishes to the kitchen, Josh also took charge of the constantly ringing phone and wrote down the names of each person that wanted a message of sympathy expressed to the family. By the time the flood of people had finally ceased, the summer sun was down. Even though no one really had an appetite, everyone forced themselves to put together a plate from all the covered dishes scattered about the kitchen and eat something before retiring early for bed. Kyle was obviously very drained from the near non-stop pace he had been on all day. As he undressed in the bedroom, he said very little beyond, "Thank you for being here and being so helpful, baby." Josh only smiled back at him before he pulled back the comforter and slipped into his side of the bed. Kyle crawled in beside him and immediately cuddled up with him, but stayed silent for a while. Finally he softly kissed Josh's cheek and murmured, "You know what I can't stop thinking about, Josh?" "What Kyle," Josh whispered back in the darkness. Kyle pulled him even tighter to him as the tremors in his body began. His usually strong voice was suddenly a combination of cracking words and light sobs. "Whether I could have survived if you hadn't. Losing dad is bad enough, but I really wouldn't have any reason to take another breath if...if..." The rest of the sentence was lost as Kyle gripped his husband like a steel hunting trap determined to never let loose of its capture. Josh rolled to his other side and starred at Kyle as he stroked his thick, dark hair. "You are my reason for living too, Kyle. I just wish I knew what to say or do to ease your pain right now." "Just hold me. All night." Those were the only words he said before rolling over and snuggling back into the embrace Josh instantly enveloped him in. When Josh finally heard the soft snores coming from Kyle, he let his mind wander some before he gave in to his own much needed sleep. 'This is probably the most intimate the two of us have ever been in bed, and I couldn't get hard right now if I had too. This is what love is...what real love is.' He planted a light kiss on Kyle's bare shoulder and whispered, "Find the peace you need in your sleep, my beautiful Tigger. Like I promised you in that helicopter when you said 'Together'...Pooh will be here for you...Forever." * * * * * As soon as the boys awoke on Sunday morning, it was as if someone had shoved the DVD back in the player and hit 'fast-forward' again. By the time they had showered, dressed, and gotten downstairs, all three grandparents were already sitting around the dining room table eating a light breakfast with Kyle's mother and sisters. They left for 9am mass in two cars; six of them in Grandma Roberts' big Cadillac, and Josh and Kyle in the BMW. Afterwards, the boys headed straight for the mall and quickly found two dark dress suits and picked out appropriate shirts and ties. Instead of heading back to the house though, Kyle drove to the funeral home. "I want to make sure they have Dad looking right before Mom sees him tonight," was the explanation. 'Tonight' had been in reference to the hours of visitation that were set up for 6pm to 8pm. Another double set of hours would be held on Monday afternoon and evening, and the funeral was set for early Tuesday afternoon. Josh held Kyle's hand and stood by him silently as the lid of the coffin was raised. Both of them shed shared tears as the ultimate reality sank in that Kyle's father was truly gone. Back at the house, they spent more time navigating amongst the second wave of neighbors, friends, and fellow church members that were dropping in all afternoon...and most with even more food in hand. Josh managed to make Kyle snicker when he deadpanned, "Da-damn. You Catholics are worse than us Southern Baptists with the covered dishes." Josh smiled when Kyle sincerely thanked him for the moment of cheerfulness. The visiting hours at the funeral home had been just as crowded as people poured in to pay their respects. It was amazing to Josh how there seemed to be a constant line waiting reverently and patiently to greet the family as they stood near the casket. As things wound down near 8pm, Kyle excused himself from one of the mourners and pulled Josh to the side. "I ran across something a few minutes ago that I think you need to see." Josh screwed up his face in confusion, but allowed Kyle to take his hand and guide him to the large vase of red and white roses that were sitting next to the open end of the casket. "That one is really pretty, Kyle," he said but obviously still not fully understanding. "Read the card," was all Kyle replied with at first. Then as he squeezed Josh's hand again, he added, "Your turn to find something to smile about, I think." Josh let his eyes focus on the small sympathy card that was attached to the vase. His eyes immediately snapped to Kyle's and then just as rapidly back to the card. It was addressed to 'Kyle Roberts and family.' He ran his fingers over it and started to sniffle as the rest of the writing truly sank in to him: 'With our deepest condolences to your family and all of our love to you, Kyle. All of it from us both. Pam and Jim Thomas, Havana, Florida' Josh literally folded into Kyle and let the tears come as he was held. Kyle started crying too, but managed to let seep out, "If there is any damn thing that can make this tragedy seem at all explainable and less painful, it's those words." Josh looked up to him and nodded. "Yeah, we've been accepted it looks like, but the cost..." Kyle put his finger to Josh's lips to silence him. "Do like your parents and I have, Josh...accept that it was meant to be and at least something good is coming from it." * * * * * Getting through Monday was rough. There had been a lot of little details to finalize in the morning such as pallbearers, what flower arrangements were to go to their home after the formal service, and the amount of front row seating needed for the family at the short, final graveside service at the cemetery. Diane Roberts had ticked off the list for the funeral home director. "Me and the girls. Jack's mother. My parents. And of course Kyle and his husband." She had said it very matter-of-factly and almost proudly. "Add another dozen chairs or so for the other relatives and older people that will be there too, please," was said as an afterthought. The afternoon and evening were filled with the two sets of visitation hours. The family managed to eat a small dinner in between them. The constant flow of mourners finally dwindled to a trickle shortly after 7:30pm. Once back at the house, they sat around the large family room for several hours trading stories and memories that provided them reasons to smile instead of cry like they wanted to. There would be plenty of time for that on Tuesday afternoon when they said the final goodbyes. When the boys eventually crawled in bed, Josh didn't need to say or ask anything before he wrapped his arms around Kyle. He just knew that Kyle still needed a comforting hold to be able to find sleep. Kyle just nuzzled back into him and said only, "I love you, Pooh," before the emotional exhaustion of the day put him out quickly. * * * * * The funeral service at the church the next day was packed. When the family came down the aisle together, there was one small detail that hadn't been worked out ahead of time...who would sit next to whom on the front row. Diane's parents took the initiative and stepped in first, taking the seats furthest down the row. Beth and Susan followed and immediately dropped beside them. Kyle guided his mother to the next slot and then lowered himself alongside her. Josh started to sit next, but paused and looked first at Jack's mother and then to Kyle. Grandma Roberts didn't miss the glance and gently nudged Josh to the seat. "You sit next to Kyle and hold my hand, Josh. We both will be needing you," were the whispered words that created his first tears of the day. By the end of the memorial, he had his arms draped around both their shoulders. By the time the limo had followed the hearse into the cemetery, Kyle had silently reviewed a list of people he had noticed in the crowd at the funeral. His high school hockey coach. Three of his teammates he had played all four years with. The guidance counselor that had kept him on track academically so he could qualify for pre-med. The girl he had dated when he was a sophomore and junior and who had been so supportive when he decided to come out. It wasn't until he was escorting his mother as they followed the six pallbearers and casket to the tent over the grave site, that he noticed one other person from his past standing amongst the crowd huddling around the tent. Joe. When the short final service ended, Kyle and Josh waited as each of the other family members individually stood and placed a red rose on the top of the closed container. Six red roses that had come from the vase Josh's parents had sent. When the boys took their turn, it was the six white roses from the same arrangement that they together gently laid atop the casket before laying their palms to the cold metal and softly uttering, "Goodbye, Dad," in unison. They sat back down and added their own tears to everyone else's as the casket was slowly lowered out of sight. * * * * * Josh was standing off to the side of the tent while Kyle shook hands and thanked various people for coming. He suddenly saw the 'get over here now' look Kyle shot him when the tall and well built, good looking, blond-haired guy stepped up and gave him an intense hug. As he moved in beside them, he heard the guy say, "Come on, Kyle. We really need to get together and talk while you are home. I do still love you." Kyle's response was to wrap his arm around Josh's waist and pull him tight to his side. He then used his left hand to grab Josh's left and raised them up to near eye level. "See these, Joe? They are called wedding rings. Meet my husband...my very legal husband...Joshua Roberts-Thomas. His love is all I can handle. Or need." Joe squinted at the rings and then gave Josh the once over. When his eyes had finished the quick survey, he rolled them at Josh and said, "Well if all you want is a twink..." Wisely, Joe didn't finish the sentence. Kyle's eyes were glowing when he emphatically stated, "He is already more of a man than you seemed to have grown up to be." They each stood drilling their eyes into the other for a moment, and then Kyle calmly said, "Thank you for coming, Joe. I do mean that, but perhaps it's best if you leave now before things neither of us can take back, get said." Joe shrugged and started to turn away, but he stopped and leaned in to Josh to whisper in his ear. "I'll get him back. Just know that. I will." Josh moved his face as close as he could to Joe's and grinned as he said, "Not a chance. We are one. Watch this." He then turned to Kyle and confidently questioned, "Together?" Kyle smiled and squeezed Josh's hand tight and answered, "Forever!" He drilled his eyes back into Joe's again before speaking further. "Would you please excuse us now. Josh and I have one more thing to do out here and it's not for public viewing." The words were far more a demand than a request. Joe started to reply, but swallowed the words as he spun on his heel and walked off. Once he was out of earshot, Josh mumbled to Kyle through clenched teeth. "I was just about ready to pop him in the jaw and roll his ass in the open grave." Kyle couldn't help but laugh a little at Josh's country boy, occasional uber-butchness surfacing again. He quickly turned serious again with, "Speaking of that open grave, we do have one other family tradition to complete." Josh looked at him curiously as Kyle pulled him towards the mound of dirt behind the tent. He handed Josh one of the spades stuck in the piled earth and grabbed the other. "Get a shovelful and follow me," was his instruction. Once they were standing over the grave with their loaded shovels and looking down, he explained further. "Dad's family have always done this when a parent dies. The male children have to start the process of filling in the grave...supposedly so we can start filling in the hole in our hearts, too." With no additional words, Kyle tilted the shovel and watched through wet eyes as the dirt bounced off the metal box at the bottom. Josh followed his lead and watched as the clods of earth slowly fell off the turned shovel. After returning the tools to the mound of soil behind the tent, they held hands as they walked in reflective silence back to the waiting funeral home limousine. * * * * * Once they returned to the house, they were immediately caught up in the almost family reunion atmosphere. The dining room table was splayed with a buffet of countless new dishes of food that had mysteriously appeared. At least fifty or sixty extended family members and close friends were spread around the first floor of the house and out on the patio and pool deck, nibbling at the plates on their laps as they talked. Most of the discussions revolved around memories of Jack Roberts, but was also interspersed with other family updates between people who usually only saw each other at times like this. Josh noticed that Kyle's somber mood lifted some each time he took pride in introducing him to someone as the newest official member of the family. After the house cleared out eventually, everyone retired to the family room and spent several more hours further attempting to bury their sorrow by sharing even more happy reflections back to when Jack Roberts was still among them. By the time the boys headed off to bed, there had been far more laughs than tears for the first time in more than four days. * * * * * As soon as he got stripped down to just his boxer briefs, Kyle flopped on the bed. He covered his eyes with his right arm and let out a loud huff of air. Josh was still in his socks and dress slacks when he moved to sit down on the bed beside him. "You okay, babe?" was accompanied by a gentle touch to Kyle's bare chest. Kyle shifted his arm from his eyes and smiled as he reached up to cup Josh's chin in his palm. "Yeah, baby. I am still feeling like shit in the brain, but I made it through thanks to you." He sat up and tugged him into an embrace. After a soft kiss to Josh's nose, he went on with, "Finish getting undressed and lay down with me. I want to feel your love." Kyle then pushed his underwear down and kicked them from his feet. "I need to feel your love, Josh." Pizza Boy at the Door Ch. 20 Josh looked at Kyle's eyes and saw the sad desperation in them The gold flecks were furiously swimming around in the hazel background as if they were begging for a lifeguard to rescue them from a rip current and bring them safely back to shore. Josh wordlessly nodded his understanding and was soon also naked and cuddling up with his husband. After wrapping his arms around him, he questioned Kyle with, "What can I do to make it better?" Kyle dragged his fingers through Josh's hair and mumbled, "Just kiss me for starters, baby." The short, tender kiss that they began with, electrified them both. "It's been so long since I held you naked and tasted your lips, Kyle." "I know, Joshie. Too long that we have let misery be the only emotion we really shared." Kyle's mouth went back to Josh's at the same time he used his leg to pull their torsos tighter together. They were both soon feeling the heat in their bodies, but their mind meld whispered to them that it was heat that was fueled by their hearts. Heat that was very much needed. Heat that would confirm to them that life would indeed go on. Heat that was pure love. As they continued to lay entangled with each other and making love with their mouths, the rest of their bodies began to give way and join in. Kyle was the first to began a slow grinding of his hips...pressing and rotating and gently thrusting his hardness against the same hardness he felt from his lover. Josh had no clue how to react beyond following Kyle's lead, so he only lightly humped back against Kyle's abs and sucked on his tongue. They continued to lay side-by-side...rocking together with their lips still locking them as one in total silence except for occasional faint moans into each other's mouths. The heat built and their passion drove them to increase the intensity of their frottage. Each new thrust causing their cocks to leak all over their stomachs. Their legs twisted together like a giant pretzel. The pairs of hands that would have normally been roaming all over each other's backs and asses, simply held firmly to the skin under them. Butt cheeks clenched without being touched. The motion of their hips became even more vigorous and as they felt the telltale rumbling in their groins, the mind meld spoke to them. 'Share the love so you both know you can love fully again.' Kyle's hands entrapped Josh's ears at the same time Josh's hands laced behind Kyle's head. They jointly held each other pinned to the other's mouth so that the screams that were building in their throats would be muffled. A series of rapid, final crotch thrusts and each individual scream emptied into the other as their seed also emptied and combined between their bodies, giving both Kyle and Josh back the hope of life and love becoming normal for them again. Not tomorrow. Probably not next week. Maybe not even next month. But it would. That was all that mattered. As they held each other and starred into each other's eyes, Josh smiled and asked, "Forever, Tigger?" Kyle smiled and came back with, "Together, Pooh." They stayed quietly cuddled together, letting their shared afterglow speak their love for them. By the time the stillness was broken, they were nearly stuck together by all the now-dried cum on their torsos. "Let's take a shower baby," Kyle suggested as he moved away from Josh. He waited until Josh slid off the bed to join him, and added, "Then afterward I will tell you the big change I am thinking of making with med school when we get back to Pensacola...just one of many I think we will be seeing." Josh tilted his head slightly, squinted one eye, and scrunched up his nose to say without words that he didn't understand where his husband was headed with that cryptic comment. As he was pulled into the walk-in shower, Kyle answered the unasked question. "My sweet Joshua. My lover. My husband. My rock I couldn't have survived the last week without. It may seem as if we have lived an entire lifetime the past year, but I think our story has only just begun." * * * * * Author's Note: Yes, this is the end of 'Pizza Boy at the Door.' But as Kyle has told Josh: It is not the end of the story...only the end of book one of the three book trilogy of this very special romance. To see where things go next, please pick up the continuing storyline with book two: 'Pizza Boy Back at the Door' which has already started posting right here at Literotica. I must send my unending thanks to each one of you for the support of this work with your kind comments, the generous and humbling voting, and the special sharing with me in private messages and emails. I will strive to continue to earn that support with book two and three. Love to all of you...from me and the boys. JKD * * * * *