5 comments/ 27701 views/ 11 favorites Once Was Lost Ch. 01 By: taylorreed Adam* He looked out through his shattered home and thanked God that he was still alive. He then realized that his daughter was missing. He scrambled frantically through the chaos that the twister had left behind screaming wildly for his little girl. "Lilly! Lilly! Baby where are you?" The only sound came from leaking water pipes and distant sirens. His eyes scanned the uprooted trees, the discarded bodies of cars that were flung as if they weighed nothing. Neighbors wandered aimless and ghost-like through things that once represented their lives but now were just reminders of what had been. He ran up to the first person he saw. "Jim. Have you seen Lilly? She was with me when it hit and now I can't find her. Please Jim. Please help me!" Jim looked at the man standing before him and took a step back. Who was this? This figure covered in mud and tattered clothing. It was Adam. Adam Watts. The single father from across the road. Jim took Adam by the arm. "Adam it's ok. We'll find her." And so it began. Soon two grew into five then eight. Surely with all these eyes the small body of a child would be easily seen? Adam thought he knew his neighborhood by heart but looking at it now, it could have been the moon. He prayed that they would find his baby but also not. He was terrified of the truth that maybe she had not survived. A small movement to his left made him stop. A hand! The small hand of a child covered in mud clutched at the air and then went limp with the effort. "Lilly!" Adam screamed. Lifting a wall that outweighed him by at least fifty pounds he threw it aside, only to see his daughter half buried in debris. A crowd gathered and watched in silent horror as a father dug like a frantic animal to release his daughter. "Please God. Help me! Don't let my baby die." Adam screamed as he gained purchase on the sodden ground. Finally her small body came free and the crowd gasped. It's not that they didn't want to help, they just felt powerless to do anything. They stood by silent witnesses to grief and despair. A siren broke the silence and two paramedics rushed to help the frantic father. He forced air into her small lungs and beat on her chest but to no avail. They moved close but he wouldn't give the child up. Time was precious now and there still may be a chance to save this tiny life. Justin held out a comforting hand. "Sir, please you need to give her to us. We may be able to save her." This did nothing for Adam as he held his daughter's frame close to his chest. Willing his life to seep into her. "You're not taking her from me. Get away!" Justin had seen this only too often. A parent's inability to comprehend the loss of their child. Not wanting to let go because that would mean that it was all too real. Keep denying what was in front of you and it may just all go away. Justin's partner Aiden, moved silently behind the father while Justin kept him distracted with pointless words. Suddenly Aiden tackled Adam to the ground and while he was pinned, Justin moved in to take the baby. "No! No!" Adam howled at the top of his lungs. Struggling against Aiden with every once of strength that he had. "You bastard. Give me back my Lilly!" Adam, in spite of a bad head wound fought Aiden with amazing strength. Jim came forward then, hoping to offer some kind of comfort. He knelt beside Adam and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Adam, look at me." He waited until those dead eyes moved his way. "Let them help. Adam they're trying to help." Something tore loose inside Adam. Jim heard it as loud as the twister that destroyed their town. He sat too still, too quiet and stared at nothing. Justin worked frantically but it was just too late. These were always the days he hated his job. Everyone looked to him to save, to heal and he felt such a failure when he couldn't deliver. Justin walked towards the father sitting still held by Aiden. "It's ok. Let him be." He sat and handed Adam the body of his daughter and waited. Nothing. The mind can be so kind when we come across something we just don't want to accept. It sends us off somewhere to a place of peace so that maybe we don't go insane. Adam looked down at his daughter and saw not the broken little body but a lively passionate soul that had bought him such joy and breathless delight. He drew her quietly to his chest and rocked her slowly as if to bring them both comfort. His lips moved and Justin realized he was singing to her and he turned away. A TV crew turned arrived and began to film the devastation. Aiden returned with a blanket for Adam who by now was shivering violently and the TV crew followed his movements with their camera. Justin stepped in front of them with a warning glance. "Don't. Give him some privacy please. Can't you see? He needs to be with his baby now." The camera moved to Justin's face and that night in the homes of millions of people across the country they saw the unshed tears and grief of a man who could not save this little girl. Stephen* Another man saw too. Sitting with friends when a familiar face caught his attention. "Shh quiet everyone. I need to see this." All eyes turned to see what Stephen was so interested in. They too saw the flattened homes and trees. Mud well over five feet high in some areas. Bodies of dead animals floating in streets covered in water. Then the final frame of this tragic story. A father sitting with a small child in his arms, rocking her slowly. A paramedic standing in front of the camera to give them privacy. Stephen knew that face. My God it's Adam! " I know him. We used to go out a long time ago. I didn't know he was married!" Stephen's friends looked at him. "It was about five years ago now. We went out for about six months then he broke up with me. I think looking at that story I know why." Stephen had always assumed it was something he had done. Only now did he think something different. He saw the disbelief and pain in Adam's eyes and remembered when they once were filled only with pleasure. "He must be going through hell. Stephen, why don't you go and be a friend to him. He will need all the support he can get for a long time." Stephen looked at Janet. The idea wasn't entirely ridiculous. They had shared a very special bond once and Adam would be easy to find in such a small town. He was only a plane ride away. It's not like they hated each other...Just lost their way. Stephen nodded to himself. His mind was made up. He left his friends and went to the computer to book a ticket. He would figure out where he was staying when he got there. It certainly wouldn't be in town because there was no town. He couldn't get a direct flight because he rightly assumed that the local airport was pretty much wiped out so he would have to get as close as he could then bus the rest of the journey. He began to feel tentative excitement. He wondered what Adam's reaction would be when he saw him again. He had a million questions and none of them had easy answers. Justin* Justin shepherded the father and baby to our truck and we made our way through the flooded streets. Thank God the hospital sustained only minimal damage and the injured began to trickle through the doors like a small stream. Every doctor was now on 24hour call and more were arriving from near by cities. It was like a bad dream. Adam was still shivering and no matter what Justin said he would not lay his daughter down. He was obviously in need of medical attention but like any parent would, his baby came first. Justin contented himself with patching the head wound as best he could and placing a blanket around Adam's shoulders. When the blanket moved and covered his daughter's face, he would move it away like she still needed oxygen to survive. Justin watched Adam carefully, looking for signs of internal injuries. Shock had most definitely set in but causing Adam more stress by forcibly removing his child from him would do more harm than good. Aiden was a good driver and they made it to the hospital in no time. Adam refused Justin's attempts to help him inside and wobbled alarmingly his daughter in danger of falling from his arms. A nurse met them inside and Justin was shocked at the number of injured people. Some laying and some sitting. All were covered in mud and soaking wet. Haunted eyes followed their progress through to the nurse's station. She glanced at Justin and then at the lifeless child. He shook his head and shrugged. He wouldn't give her up. The movement said. She drew Justin aside. "So I am assuming that the child is deceased?" Justin nodded. "We need to get them apart so he can be treated. Can you keep him distracted and I'll try to sedate him?" Adam eyed them both warily. Unsure of what was happening. Justin moved carefully towards him, hands out in a placating gesture. "Adam, I'm concerned for you. You have quite a bad gash on your head. Are you feeling light-headed at all?" All the while he moved a little closer. The nurse was out of his view all together so was able to come around from behind. She had quickly loaded a hypodermic with a sedative and was inching closer. "Adam. Can I hold her for you? Even just for a little while? You look like you're going to fall over." Justin got within arms length. The nurse moved the last few feet with lightening speed and jabbed the needle into Adam's bicep. Adam grabbed at his arm. "You son-of-a-bitch." He screamed at Justin. "You tricked me!" The sedative took effect quickly and Adam began to droop and slowly sank to the floor. His arms were still wrapped around his daughter and Justin still had to pry them apart. He looked at Adam and his heart broke for him. "Adam it's ok. We need to help you. It's going to be ok." Adam looked up once more before he went under. "You bastard." He slurred. "Never...never forgive you." And he slumped into unconsciousness. Justin didn't usually take those kinds of statements to heart but for some reason what Adam just said hurt him. He handed the small body over to the nurse then collected Adam off the floor. He had trouble finding an empty bed and realized he was enjoying the feeling of this man in his arms. He liked to play protector but it was more than that. He had watched Adam struggle with the loss of his baby and even though he was in obvious need of medical attention he still put his daughter first. What must it be like to love someone like that? So much so that what you need comes last. Looking at Adam lying on the bed, fragile and hurting, Justin felt a small twinge and hoped that maybe he would have the chance to feel that way about Adam. Yes he had a child but that really didn't mean he wasn't gay. It was nothing he said, Justin had always been pretty good at reading people. Justin had lived here for a long time so when Adam arrived with just his daughter Justin became intrigued. Polite questions about where they came from and any family or friends yielded nothing but polite answers. There had been "talk" of course like in all small towns that he had maybe kidnapped the little girl from her mother but Justin knew the police chief well and a discreet investigation turned up only information on a mother dying in a car accident leaving behind a child and husband. That's why Adam was on his own. Justin had always kept his distance and they had bumped into each other at the store and exchanged smiles but that was all. Justin didn't want to take advantage of the situation and he couldn't believe that he was thinking this way but maybe now Adam would let him in, just a little. Adam* Adam woke with a raging headache and looked around the stark white room. For one moment of bliss he didn't remember where he was or why he was even there but then in a flash it all came flooding back. The twister. The search for my daughter then like some living nightmare, her fight for life and eventual death. To say that he felt numb was a huge understatement. It scared him a little at just how hollow he was. Adam looked at the liquid flowing into his arm, maybe it was the drugs that left him feeling nothing? Or just maybe his mind was giving him a little vacation from any feelings at all. What do you do when you loose a child? Was there an appropriate way to behave or was anything at all acceptable? He did know that a parent was not meant to bury a child. Lilly had been in his life for four years and had stolen his heart the second she looked at him with those enormous brown eyes. That rosebud mouth and whisps of hair, could there ever be anything more beautiful? She was only one when her mother died in a car accident. Adam called her "mother" because she wasn't really his wife but in name only. One stupid night of complete drunkeness was all it took to create that small and perfect creature. They agreed to put on a little show for both families that included the pretense of loving each other as any couple would. Underneath the charade they both knew the truth. He had given up everything to care for them both, even Stephen. That was the one loss that he would never forgive himself for. For as long as he lived he would never forget that look of anguish on Stephen's face when he broke his heart with a lie. And now he had nothing. He let the pain in his head wash everything else away. But still no tears. Ok now he was really afraid for his sanity. The grief should have been overwhelming him by now. The nurse stopped in to check the dressing on his head. "How are you feeling?" He looked at her as if she had asked about the meaning of life. He shrugged. He had no idea how he felt because he was empty inside. She ruffled his hair and he felt small and child-like. "You've been through hell Mr Watts. It's going to take time." God if only it were that simple. Stephen* Stephen arrived the next day and endured the bus ride with the other hot and sweaty travelers. He had found a hotel a neighboring town and prayed to God that it had air conditioning. It was small and cheap but hopefully he wouldn't be spending too much time there. He hoped that when he found Adam they could maybe reconnect again. Not that he expected miracles but Stephen at least wanted to know the truth this time not the fairytale that Adam told him all those years ago. He wondered how Adam was doing. He had lost his mother and an aunt but that was nothing compared with the loss of a child. He wondered where the mother was in all of this. The questions drove him crazy. Stephen remembered the way Adam felt in his arms. The pure delight of kissing him and the dimples that appeared when he smiled. Now that he was here and Adam was so close Stephen realized just how much he had missed all of that. They arrived at the bus station and Stephen caught a taxi to the hotel. This was certainly small town America! He desperately wanted a cold shower and hopefully a meal that didn't involved some kind of animal testicles. The guy at the front desk gave him a key and pointed the way to his room. Stephen opened his door and was nearly bowled off his feet with the heat wave that escaped from the room. Please, please let there be air conditioning. His eyes scanned the room and there it was, mounted to the window. If he wasn't so tired Stephen would have danced with joy. He settled instead for turning the unit on as high as it would go and heading for the bathroom. After washing the travel grime off he really wanted to eat but tiredness had made his whole body ache. Luckily the air blew directly onto the bed so sleep would be possible. Stephen drew down the covers and eased his weary body onto the sheets, noting with relief that they were nice and clean. Sleep took him almost immediately and he went willingly with thoughts of Adam still in his head. Hope you enjoyed this first chapter. It seems to take quite a while for the approval to come through for stories to get posted so it's actually not me holding things up. More coming! Blessings Taylor. Once Was Lost Ch. 02 I apologize for the corny name but I didn't want to use a real town. I am no good at making up names for places..Sorry! Stephen* He woke with a pounding headache and sunlight blinding him through the flimsy curtains. He wondered for a moment what was missing? Then he knew. The constant scream of sirens and the ever-present rumble of progress and traffic. There was none of that here and he had to admit it was a little spooky. The odd noises his stomach made reminded Stephen that he hadn't eaten since yesterday so he rose and quickly dressed. He wished he didn't have to put clothes on. The humidity made everything wet in seconds. He went to the front desk and asked about places to eat. The lack of restaurants made the choice easy. There was a small diner just down the street so thanking the clerk Stephen made his way there. The locals did the obligatory ogling of the stranger in town and without too many hassles Stephen managed to order a cup of coffee and the breakfast special of the day. He looked out the window and the air was hazy with heat already. Why on earth had Adam chosen this area of all places to live? Stephen guessed that it was because he needed a fresh start and a clean slate. No one knew him so there were no expectations. When he had all but inhaled his food he asked for directions and inquired about a taxi. The question got a smirk from the waitress. "I hate to tell you handsome but that's something you won't find around here." Stephen stared at her, dumbfounded. It hadn't even occurred to me that there wouldn't be any taxis. There was no way he could walk. It was too far and he would certainly die from the heat. Well crap! The waitress waved her talon red nails and the locals. "Hey! Anyone here give this fella a lift to Cooper's Crossing?" You could have a pin drop. Well this is just great! Suddenly a hand grabbed his shoulder. Stephen turned and was staring into a pair of beautiful blues eyes. Unfortunately they were attached to a girl. She beamed at me. "I can give you a lift if you want?" Clearly flirting with me. You're barking up the wrong tree. Stephen thought to himself. But accepted anyway. Hey beggars can't be choosers. They went outside and into a sporty convertible...of course! She drove like she talked. Fast and totally ditsy. At least they got there in record time. He learnt along the way that her name was Cheryl and her entire life story. Stephen had no idea where to start looking for Adam so he just got her to take him to the police station, assuming of course that it was still standing. Driving through the streets it was like one of those stories you see on the news. He was seeing it but just couldn't quite believe it. There were some houses totally gone and others made it through unscathed. Stephen never understood how that happened. With one last predatory smile, Cheryl released him from her grasp and he stepped out onto the sidewalk then up the stairs to the station. The building had sustained some obvious damage but remained functional. In a time like this and the chance of looting high, Stephen was relieved to see the station fully manned. About five sets of eyes watched him approach the front desk. Stephen held his hands out in a placating gesture. The last thing he wanted was to be mistaken for a would-be criminal. A tall blond haird officer stepped up to help him. "What can I do for you sir?" Stephen had always been a sucker for a man in uniform and grinned like an idiot. "Well I'm not sure that you can but I needed to try and find an old friend of mine who lives here. His name is Adam. Adam Watts. His daughter died." Stephen flinched saying those words. God what Adam must be going through! The officer turned to his colleagues. "Didn't they take Mr. Watts to the hospital? You know the guy who lost his kid." The others nodded in agreement. Mr. Handsome turned back to Stephen. "He's probably still at the hospital. From what I can remember he had quite a bad head wound too." Stephen wondered how far away the hospital was and just how on earth he was going to get there. Maybe he should have flirted with Cheryl and kept her around a bit longer. "Um. You wouldn't be able to give me a ride there would you? I came in on a bus and I understand taxis aren't big around here." Stephen looked hopefully at the officer. "Well I guess I could step away for a few minutes." He glanced around the station, probably wishing for an emergency. Sighing he collected his keys and led Stephen out to a patrol car. Stephen had never been in a police car before and it made him feel guilty for some reason. He felt like yelling at the people passing by that he was just getting a ride and not under arrest. The powerful car had them at the hospital in just less than ten minutes. Stephen looked at the officer and extended his hand. "Thanks. I really appreciate it." He was rewarded with a smile. "I hope your friend is ok. Stay safe." Shaking Stephen's hand in return. Stephen watched the car turn the corner then made his way inside. He was immediately taken aback by the volume of people. The hallways were crowded with the injured but obviously not too bad off. Doctors and nurses running around tried in vane to get things under control. Stephen must have stood at the check in desk for twenty minutes before he gained a nurse's attention. She looked harried and out of breath. "Yes?" Came the impatient question. "I'm trying to find someone who may be here. His name is Adam. Adam Watts. His daughter died in the twister." The nurse checked her records. "Yes he's still here but I can't let you in unless you're immediate family." "I understand but I don't think he has any. I've known him for years and I think he would like me to be here for him. Please" Stephen pleaded his case and watched the nurse struggle with following the rules or helping one of her patients get through a traumatic event with a friend. She glanced from side to side. "Ok. He's in room 126. If anyone asks you're his brother. I could really get into a lot of trouble for this." She pointed down the hall. "Go right at the next turn and then it's three rooms down on the left." Stephen reached out and took her hand. "Thank you. Thank you so much." And she blinked in surprise, obviously used to complaints instead of praise. Stephen followed her directions to Adam's room and then stood outside for a moment. Unsure now he was here of what exactly he was going to say or do. He didn't plan this out too well. He took a deep breath and walked quietly into Adam's room. Adam was lying in bed with his eyes closed. A huge bandage swathed around his entire head. He looked so fragile and small. He had lost a lot of weight and seemed to have aged but that was to be expected after the events of the last few days. Stephen traced Adam's face with his eyes. The strong square jaw and high cheekbones. He remembered his large but gentle hands and when he smiled his whole face lit up. Chocolate brown eyes that you could just drown in. Now those eyes were open and looking directly at him. Stephen blanched a little at the lack of life in them. They seemed dull and empty. He felt tears form and spill over onto his cheeks. He desperately wanted to hold Adam and take all the pain away. "Adam? Adam it's....its Stephen. Do you remember me?" There was no response. He may as well have been talking to a mannequin. Stephen moved closer and sat down. Adam's gaze followed him but there was no recognition. Stephen took a chance and reached out to take Adam's hand in his. "Don't fucking touch me you bastard!" Adam shrieked at the top of his lungs. "Get away from me...Don't touch me!" Stephen leapt out of the chair and screamed down the hallway for help. Two orderlies and a nurse with a needle ran into Adam's room. Adam still yelling began to curl himself up into a ball, trying to become as small as possible. Stephen felt tears streaming down his cheeks. "Please Adam. It's ok. They're not going to hurt you. I'm not going to hurt you. Adam...please." But Adam was now so far into himself that he couldn't have heard anything anyway. The two burly orderlies held him down while the nurse added the powerful medication to his IV line. Adam's screams began to dwindle and eased off into quiet sobs. Stephen felt totally responsible for the outburst. It was almost too much to see Adam this way. Something had shattered inside and Stephen had no way to help him. The nurse glanced his way. "I think you'd better leave now." He nodded and walked on unsteady legs back outside. Now what? He certainly hadn't planned on that and was at a loss as to what to do next. He couldn't stay here forever but he didn't want to give up that easily. Not paying attention Stephen stepped out right into the path of an ambulance. Luckily for him it had slowed to turn into the hospital and only narrowly avoided missing him. Justin* Justin jammed his foot on the brake, sending him and his partner plus the patient in the back flying forward. Aiden held onto the man on the gurney to prevent him from falling onto the floor. Justin yelled in surprise. "Shit! You stupid asshole!" And jumped out of the rig prepared to rip this guy a new one. The words froze in his mouth as he took in the very good-looking man staring at him with an open mouth. Justin had the feeling that the guy thought he was going to beat him up or something. Then again he hadn't been far wrong. He raised a hand and touched the guy on the shoulder. "Hey. Are you ok?" The man looked at him totally dazed and then sat down heavily on the road. Justin knelt quickly and took his pulse. It was a little fast but then he supposed under the circumstances that was perfectly ok. He drew the man to his feet and took him over to sit on a bench in the shade. They were both trembling a little but Justin was handling it better. "What's your name?" The man looked at him, opened his mouth then closed it again. "Umm..Oh it's Stephen. I'm Stephen. Sorry about that I wasn't paying attention." Justin noted how blue his eyes were and made a mental note to find out more about him. "Are you here to see someone? I haven't seen you around here before. Did you just get into town?" Justin closed his mouth to end the questions. Stephen looked at him again and seemed to be thinking over his responses. "I was visiting a friend. We knew each other a long time ago and I saw him on the news. Hey..I think I remember seeing you too!" Justin knew right away whom he was talking about. Adam Watts. Now he really was curious. Friend huh? Somehow there was more to this story. Aiden, the master of bad timing stuck his head around the corner. "Are you coming or what?" Justin blushed and stood. "Hey I gotta to go but if you need anything here's my card. If you don't have anything to do later on, I get off at 7.30pm. We could go get a drink if you want?" Justin had no idea why he had just said all of that but what the hell. Stephen looked at him and then took the card. "My visit with my friend didn't go well at all and I have no car so now I'm stuck here for a while I guess. So yeah, that sounds good. I can just meet you here if you like?" Justin smiled and shrugged like it was all no big deal. "Ok so I'll see you here then. Seeya." He went inside to book the patient in. Aiden looked at him and smiled. "What?" Aiden just shook his head. "Only you could actually hit on a guy you nearly ran over. You are too much buddy." Justin pasted an innocent look on his face. "I was not hitting on him. I merely suggested a drink. It was the least I could do after almost running him over." He went to the nurse's station to fill out the paperwork. Maybe he could end this shift early? More coming folks! Blessings Taylor. Once Was Lost Ch. 03 Just a quick note..I want to thank everyone for your generous comments. I am very thrilled that you guys seem to like my stories..so thank you! Blessings Taylor. PS If you leave a comment and you would like a reply, don't make it anonymous ok...I enjoy "talking" with you. Justin* * For the rest of the day Justin thought about Stephen and what he was going to say and how he was going to find out more about Adam. He knew without a doubt that it was Adam he went to visit and he desperately wanted to know what had happened and why Stephen said the visit hadn't gone well. If only they all knew what he was really like under his seemingly personable appearance. Inside Justin beat the heart of a cruel man. But it wasn't like he didn't enjoy the way he was. It was just easier to go by unnoticed by society if you acted like everyone else. He had been a partner with Aiden for nearly eight years and even he had no idea what his true nature was. When he watched Adam fall apart from the loss of his daughter and then to feel that man against his chest made him crave that kind of connection. He had tried this more than a dozen times but had always managed to scare men away. They seemed to sense something just below the surface. Like seeing a shadow in the ocean then something in your gut tells you to swim like hell. He had never deliberately hurt any of them but persuasion was often needed to convince them to play the game for a while longer. Justin thought of himself as the master puppeteer. Pulling all the right strings and watching as they all danced to his tune. Becoming a paramedic was a stroke of genius and Justin sailed through all the exams and field requirements coming in at top of his graduating class. He was given a choice assignment in a large city and that of course was where the trouble started. Both of his ex boyfriends had stated that he was selfish, immature and to add insult to injury a bad lover! Now that was a label that Justin did not appreciate so of course they were both mistaken and he had tried to "convince" them of this but to no avail. Such is life. Now he had someone new to fixate on and Stephen would be the perfect way in. He planned to pepper him with questions but without seeming to be obvious about it. Justin was good looking so it had always been easy to gain the confidence of others and without wondering why, they found themselves revealing information they wouldn't tell even their best friend. Yes. This was going to be an interesting game. Adam* He knew it was Stephen. He hadn't changed one little bit in all that time apart. He would recognize him anywhere. Why was he here? How had he found him? His being screamed to reach out to Stephen and pour out his agony but he found himself unable to. Frustration and sorrow raged through his body yet there was no apparent outward sign of this so his outburst had obviously shocked Stephen. Adam felt as though he was going through the motions of grieving but he was terrified that his sanity was in question. Even the nurses handled him with kid gloves and let him be when all he really wanted was for someone to hold him and let him cry. When Stephen tried to take Adam's hand and he had reacted as though he was being tortured, Adam himself was puzzled and distressed by this too. There was no way he could have stopped himself from acting that way. It was probably going to be viewed by everyone as "normal" under the circumstances but Adam knew it wasn't. His head hurt like hell and he was drugged to the gills most of the time. This was partly due to his injury and the fear that he might do himself harm. Adam on the other hand wanted to feel this way. He was the one that had moved Lilly here with him after the death of her mother. A town prone to natural disasters in a section of the country known to all as Tornado Alley. Yet in spite of everyone he knew telling him it was a bad idea, he had chosen to move anyway. And now what did he have? A dead daughter destroyed memories and a pile of rubble that used to be their home. He had blamed himself for Susan's death too. There had been a huge argument and she was upset and crying when she left that rainy night. Yes there had also been a drunk driver involved but Adam was the reason she had been out there in the first place. So when the pain of Lilly's death did eventually hit, in some demented way Adam was going to enjoy it. Now those were the thoughts of a crazy person! If only the nurses here could see inside his head. He would be already committed to the local funny farm. The hole he felt as though he was standing in got bigger by the day. Stephen* Stephen wandered around in the heat for at least three hours before succumbing to the urge to pee and get a cold drink. Once again a "friendly" local had given him a ride and he found himself at the local steakhouse. Cheesy wood paneling and fake cow horns covered the walls but none of that mattered. All Stephen wanted was to relieve himself then order the largest drink they had. The entire day was turning out to be a disaster and then to top it off he was almost run over by an ambulance. The upside was that now at least he had a good looking guy to maybe buy him dinner and show him around this one horse town. There was something about Justin though that didn't sit right with Stephen. Maybe he was a little too nice? A little too smooth? Nothing that he could put his finger on it was just a feeling. Shaking his head Stephen went to the bar and ordered a beer and a jug of iced water with lemon. Even though it was midday it was already busy but he supposed there wasn't much else to do. So he sat and drank and pretended to be interested in the football game playing on the TV. He looked at his watch. Time had gone by surprisingly fast and he only had one more hour to kill before getting back to the hospital. He decided to stay right where he was for the time being. There was no point leaving. Where would he go? This place had air conditioning and beer. What more could he ask for? Justin* He had a little under an hour before meeting up with Stephen but he would need that time to tidy up the rig and do a quick inventory of the drugs they had already administered today and get more supplies from the hospital. That alone could take up an hour easily. As he worked Justin began to think about Adam and exactly how he was going to encourage a relationship between them. He had only been in to see him once since he delivered him at the hospital and he had been sleeping so he sat and watched. No one thought anything of it because of who Justin was. He watched as Adam wrestled with his demons while he slept and brushed his fingers lightly against Adam's cheek. Justin could have easily taken him now. It was late and there was minimal staff. It would have been so easy but that would have taken the fun out of it. What was life after all without a challenge? Justin had always been good at playing the waiting game. Like a cat toying with a mouse. There was always the hope of escape dangled in front of the prey like a carrot but in the end, the cat always won. Justin looked at his watch again. He'd better get going. He didn't want to be late and first appearances were always important. He had a locker at the hospital and could shower and change into his street clothes there. There was only one relatively nice place to eat in Cooper's Crossing and that was The Steakhouse. Yes it was badly decorated but the food was great and so was the service. Hopefully the evening would prove to be fruitful and not a total waste of time. More Coming! Blessings Taylor. Once Was Lost Ch. 04 Stephen* He eventually got a ride back to the hospital and with a few minutes to spare. He wished he had gone back to the hotel and had a shower and changed his clothes but oh well...It wasn't as if this was a real date and truthfully there was something off about Justin. "Hey"! A loud shout made Stephen jump and he turned to see a freshly showered Justin walking towards him. My God he was one good looking guy. He didn't even have to try and probably would look just as good in a sack. Justin walked up to him and ushered them to his car. Stephen ignored the uneasy feeling in his gut. Don't be stupid. He told himself. It's still light out and they were going to eat not out on some deserted road in the middle of no where. While they rode in silence to wherever it was they were going, Stephen glanced around the inside of the car. Looking for little signs that this guy was a fruit loop. What he expected to find he had no idea. A bloody axe or some rope maybe? He laughed a little. Justin turned to him. "What? What's funny?" Stephen realized he had laughed out loud. Crap! "Oh nothing. I was just thinking about this place I hung out at for a little while today. Talk about cheesy. Wood paneling and fake cow horns. Good beer though." Justin smiled a little. "Was it called The Steakhouse by any chance?" Stephen nodded. "That's actually where we're going. I know the atmosphere is probably not what you're used to. Being a city boy and all that but the food is amazing. Unless of course you want to drive for the next three hours to somewhere bigger?" There was a smile on Justin's face but Stephen saw that it didn't extend to his eyes. "No...that's ok with me. I enjoy a good steak and I know the air conditioning works there too. I just wish I had time to grab a shower. I must stink by now." Justin glanced over at him. "You look good enough to me." There was that cold smile again. Stephen was relieved to finally get to The Steakhouse and jumped out of the car before Justin had even turned it off. He saw that now there were quite a few more people but then anywhere cool was going to be popular..Good food or not. They walked in and Justin took the initiative and led them to a small booth in a quiet corner. A waitress came over to take their drink order and Stephen surprised himself by ordering a shot as well as a beer. Justin eyed him almost warily. "You like a drink then?" It wasn't a question, more of a statement. Stephen shrugged and gazed absently at the menu. "It's been a long, hot day; and it certainly didn't start off too great so I guess I need something to take the edge off." The waitress came over with their drinks and Stephen took his shot in one swallow and chased it with his beer. He noticed his hands shaking a little and hoped the alcohol would alleviate some of that. He had no idea why he was reacting to Justin this way but his gut was usually spot on. Justin waved the waitress back over and ordered a steak medium rare. Stephen asked for his to be cremated. There was no way he could eat anything remotely pink and hoped he could stand to watch Justin eat his that way. They both choose fries and the house salad to finish the meal off. Stephen looked around, frantically thinking of something they could talk about. "So Justin, how long have you been a paramedic for?" Pretty lame but any port in a storm huh. Justin sipped on his beer before answering. " Well I won't say what everyone expects you too about wanting to help people and blah blah. My motive was purely selfish. I wanted a challenge. Simple as that. I like the rush I get taking risks. And just in case you hadn't figured it out yet, I'm gay. So picking up guys is easy when you're in uniform." Justin looked at Stephen almost daring him to be shocked. Stephen took another drink of his beer just to do something other than stare at Justin in disbelief. "Well at least you're honest. So you're the one that helped Adam and his daughter? I knew I recognized you from that news story." Justin smirked pompously. "Yep that was me. Although by the time we got there it was too late to help the baby and we had to sedate Adam to get his daughter away from him. So you know him well do you?" Stephen sensed a deeper meaning behind that question and proceeded with caution, trying not to give too much away with his answer. " Yeah. I knew Adam a while ago. Actually we used to be a couple. Then he moved away. I didn't know why at first but now I think I do." Stephen tried to gauge Justin's reaction but like a true poker player he gave nothing away. Their meals arrived and Stephen once again felt relief at now having another excuse to delay any further conversation. Adam* He woke and once again was given a few seconds of ignorant bliss regarding his circumstances and then the freight train came rollin in and emptiness took over. He wished Stephen would come back. There was so much he had to say, to tell him. He wanted so badly to explain the true reason for the break up but then maybe Stephen already knew? He was still wondering why Stephen was here at all but said a small prayer of thanks anyway. Maybe this was the universes way of trying to make up for the loss of his daughter. Was this his second chance? He didn't even know how to find Stephen again and hoped that maybe he was staying near by. He called the nurse in. Maybe she knew? She came running in, fearing some emergency. "Mr. Watts. Are you ok? Are you in pain?" Yes. Thought Adam. Only not the kind you can cure with a pill. "Oh. No. I'm ok really. I just wanted to know if you remember that guy that came in this morning? His name was Stephen? Do you happen to know where he went or if he's staying somewhere in town?" The nurse looked perplexed for a moment. Now she remembered. That was when Mr. Watts had his breakdown and they had to ask that nice gentleman to leave. He looked so upset. "Well I don't really know sorry. But I do know that Justin was going to take him out for a meal. He nearly ran him over you know." Now it was Adam's turn to frown. "Justin? Stephen nearly got run over? Well is he ok?" "Oh you probably don't remember Justin. He's the paramedic that brought you in when your baby....well you know...And yes your friend is ok." The nurse gave him a quick once over. Checking his pulse and blood pressure. "Anything else I can help you with before I go?" She liked Adam even if he was obviously a "little light in the loafers" as her mother used to say. He was a good patient and a good man and her heart ached for his loss. "Actually yeah. You can tell me when I get to leave. I feel ok physically and now my friend Stephen is here I have someone to look after me so I'm not going to go throw myself under the first bus I see. I know that's what everyone here is worried about. So when do I get out?" He knew she probably wouldn't know and that it was up to his doctor but maybe she could put in a good word on his behalf. " I don't think it will be too much longer. You're head seems to be doing ok and yes that's true about having someone here for you now. Tell you what, I'll have a word to your doctor tomorrow ok and try to get you out on good behavior. How does that sound?" She had such a warm smile and she reminded Adam of his mother. She ruffled his hair and he felt like a child again. That was something else he needed to take care of. His own child. The thought of her being in the hospital morgue alone in the dark without him made him want to scream. There were arrangements to be made. Arrangements? It all sounded so cold and impersonal. This was his baby. The one person who had truly loved him unconditionally. She didn't expect him to be perfect just to love her back. Adam rested against his pillows and allowed the memories to come in. Walking through the park on a rainy day with Lilly squealing in delight whenever a drop trickled down her face. Blowing the fluff from a dandelion flower gone to seed and watching as they floated away on a breeze. Off on some adventure neither of them was privy to. "Daddy?" Lilly had asked in her high musical voice. "Where do they go when they float away? Do they go to heaven to see mommy?" Adam remembered that day. Lilly had mentioned her mother only that one time and he was so glad she thought that Susan was in heaven. Of course she was. Where else would she go? Adam had to stop a moment to catch a few stray tears. " I guess so pumpkin. You know how much mommy liked to do this with you so I think they are her way to help you to remember her. She's up there right now. Looking down on us and smiling. Remember how much she loved to brush your hair?" Lilly nodded. Lost in the memory too. "There was no one that mommy loved more than you Lilly. I love you too. More than anything." She smiled broadly at this. This was their game. "More than ice cream with syrup? More than baby lambs and sunny days?" Lilly was giggling now. Everything about her was music to Adam's ears. Adam scooped her up and rubbed his gruff chin against her baby soft cheek. "More than any of those things. More than mountains of ice cream and a million baby lambs." He twirled her as fast as he dared to. She laughed and screamed with pure happiness. Time stopped for a moment then and Adam knew he would remember this for the rest of his life. Adam shivered with the memory. The front of his hospital gown soaked with tears. He reached to wipe a few away. He was crying! Then he felt it. That overwhelming sorrow that is a physical pain. It makes you want to smash your head against something just to get it to stop. Adam took a pillow and held it over his face to keep the screaming as quiet as he could. Then he just let loose. The impotent rage and mind-numbing sorrow took him to new depths of pain. He didn't know how long this cleansing went on but when it was over he felt as though he had run a marathon. Soaked with sweat and tears he went into the small bathroom to wash his face and he found a clean gown in the closet. He looked at himself in the mirror. For the first time since he lost his baby, he felt human. More coming! Blessings Taylor. Once Was Lost Ch. 05 Stephen & Justin. It was getting dark outside and Stephen was shocked to find that he had been there with Justin for almost four hours. All through their meal Justin continued to ask him about Adam and their time together. Stephen managed to side step most of them and he could feel Justin simmering with frustration, though his face gave nothing away. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and stood there for a while trying to pinpoint just what it was about Justin that made him feel so uneasy. Was it because he was so confident in an almost arrogant way or was it those very cold, calculating blue eyes? Stephen relieved himself and after washing his hands he went back to their table noting with annoyance that Justin had ordered him another beer. He smiled briefly as he sat back down. "Listen Justin, I've had a pretty heavy day and I know it's only early but I think I'll just call it a night ok?" He took a large swallow of his drink hoping Justin would just agree. Did the room seem to move a little? Why were his lips feeling tingly? Justin smiled coldly and nodded. "Sure I understand. Just let me get the check and we can go ok?" He stood and went to pay at the front of the restaurant. Stephen blanched at the odd feeling in his stomach and he was surprised to find a trickle of sweat running down his cheek. What in the fuck was happening here? He tried to stand but almost fell catching himself just in time by grabbing the table. He couldn't be drunk! He only had a couple of beers and that one shot. My God he drank more than that just going to his friend's house for a bar-b-que! He felt a weird sensation and looked over at Justin who was watching him with a distinct expression of satisfaction on his face. "Poor fella." He flirted with the waitress. "I don't think he can handle his alcohol." They both laughed at the shared joke. Justin moved over to Stephen and took his arm in a firm grasp. "I think you've had more than enough fun for one night. What do you think? Let's get you out of here." Stephen went to jerk his arm from Justin's grasp and failed miserably. He didn't feel threatened or scared just very agreeable and obliging. Which even to his foggy brain didn't make sense. He tried once again to break away and actually giggled at his pathetic effort. Justin swung him around so they were face to face. It was like looking into a bottomless pit. Gone was the handsome smile. Instead it seemed as though another person had taken his place. The full lips curled into a vicious sneer. "Stephen you need to listen to me carefully now. I have something important I need you to understand. So focus!" And with that Stephen was lightly slapped across the face. He wanted to protest but the words froze in his throat. What in the hell was going on? They were outside and yet he didn't remember even moving. That feeling in the pit of his stomach was rapidly turning from mild indifference to just plain fear. His brain began to register that he might just be in some trouble here and his system began to fill with adrenaline preparing itself to flee or fight. Yet oddly enough he still felt like laughing. His body felt boneless and he knew though that if Justin let go he would fall to the ground in a heap so fleeing or fighting wasn't really an option at the moment. Justin held his face in between his hands and forced him to look at those dead eyes. "That feeling that you're experiencing is of a person who has been given a mild dose of GHB. Do you know what that is city boy? Don't freak out its not you I'm after. Is it all starting to make sense now? So I want you to walk nicely with me to the car and we'll get you all squared away and then I'll pay a little visit to Adam and we can get better aquatinted. Sound like a plan city boy?" Stephen had no idea what Justin was talking about and found himself going along quite willingly which only made him more afraid. GHB? Was that what Justin had said? His drink! The puzzle began to make sense now. Beneath that very handsome exterior there beat the heart of someone that Stephen was sure he really didn't want to know better. The world took on an odd tilt and Stephen found himself laughing like an idiot once more. He just couldn't stop. It seemed to have a life of it's own. Justin joined in on the joke and laughed right along with him as they drove off to God knows where. He looked around and things became familiar. They were back at the hospital except around the back somewhere. The lighting was almost non-existent which he guessed was the reason they were here. Justin opened the door and Stephen all but spilled out of the car saved only by a restraining hand from Justin. All of a sudden the lights went out and before he could stop himself Stephen yelped like a wounded puppy. Understanding set in and he realized he was now blindfolded. Surely someone would see them? But then again why would Justin choose a place that would be busy with foot traffic? A harsh whisper in his ear made his stomach roll. "As long as you're a good boy everything will be ok Stephen. I like you and I don't want to have to hurt you, so don't do anything stupid." Stephen felt himself going down some stairs and then he was sat in a chair and felt tape bite into his wrists then it was being stuck across his lips. Now there really was no chance of discovery. His heart sank but now he also feared for Adam. He had no idea how Justin would manage to get Adam out of the hospital without anyone becoming suspicious. Why, why didn't he listen to his gut and tell Justin to go fuck himself! Stephen gave himself a mental scolding. He jumped as Justin moved in close. "It's time to get Adam. Don't worry I won't hurt a hair on his pretty head. Remember what I said, be a good boy." He cuffed Stephen sharply to the back of his head, proving his point. Stephen now gagged could only make what he hoped was a sound of agreement. Please God, please don't let him hurt Adam. Adam & Justin Adam woke with a hand across his mouth and was too startled to react. His eyes widened as he recognized the owner. It was that paramedic guy, Justin. He thought he remembered kinder eyes and a gentler smile but the man standing before him certainly had none of those endearing qualities. "Don't do anything stupid. Be still and quiet and I will tell you what's going to happen. Nod if you understand me. Oh one more thing, I have your handsome friend so no heroics." Adam felt little icicles of fear collect in his heart. This guy has Stephen? Why in God's name would he have Stephen and does that mean he was taken by force? Adam wondered too about his impending fate and nodded slowly. Justin removed his hand, watching Adam for any signs that he would yell or try to run. Seeing none he began his little speech. "You probably don't remember me but I was the one who tried to save your kid. There's something you don't know about me and that is that I actually have a hard time getting people, guys, to trust me. Hard to believe I know." Justin paused dramatically and Adam found himself beginning to hate him with a passion. "You see people, and by that I mean guys, need time to see the real me underneath. I am not a cruel or hateful person merely misunderstood. Don't worry about your boyfriend he's ok....for now." With that Justin motioned for Adam to get off the bed and went to the closet to get out some clean clothes the nurse had left for him. Adam thought wildly about a way to get out of this mess or even try to leave a clue or a message for someone to find. God this was like a bad movie! He almost laughed but managed to choke it back in time. He had a feeling that laughter of any kind would not be welcomed. "Ok Ok..I'll come with you but I have a few demands of my own. I am not going to change in front of you we're not that close and two when we get to where we're going you let Stephen go! If you don't agree to this then I don't care what you do to me I'll scream bloody murder and then we'll see whose in control." Adam let his breath come out in a rush terrified that he had only succeeded in provoking Justin into a rage. He didn't care though. He may be in a bad situation right now but he certainly didn't have to act like a helpless victim. Justin's eyes narrowed but he nodded wordlessly. He threw the clothes at Adam and walked him to the bathroom door. "Don't try anything or I swear to God you'll regret it." Adam searched the bathroom desperately trying to find something to write with. He grabbed a square of toilet paper but now he needed something to scribble quick "help me" note. Giving himself time to think Adam quickly dressed and then put his thin jacket on. It may be warm evening but he was still feeling the affects of being in an emotional upheaval. He patted his pockets and felt something in the right one. Thank God for small mercies. A pen! But there was something else in there too. A note. "Mr. Watts, Adam. I hope when you eventually find this you will be able to read this with a smile. I am the nurse who has been caring for you ever since you were brought in. I felt such sorrow for the loss of your little girl and you remind me so much of my own son that I just felt a connection to you. So this is to say that it has been a pleasure being able to care for you and I wish it was under different circumstances but I'm glad we met. God Bless Nurse Jenkins. PS I found this pen in your pants pocket and thought you may like it back." Adam raised his gaze to the ceiling and wiped away the tears that ran down his cheeks. When this whole stupid game was over he hoped he was still around to kiss that woman! More Coming...Sorry they aren't really long but it's all I can manage to fit in. I hope you're enjoying the story. Blessings Taylor. Once Was Lost Ch. 06 Once Was Lost...Chapter Six..Final one! First of all I wanted to thank those of you who emailed me about Shawn. I truly appreciate your concern and we are getting on with things the best we know how too. Anthony also wanted to say thank you for your prayers. He wanted me to finish this story and then dedicate it to Shawn...So that's what I am going to do. The real spelling of Shawn's name is actually Sean, just in case some of you picked up on that discrepancy from the story. He was worried that some of you wouldn't know what Sean spelled so he asked me to change it..So from now on it's going to be Sean. So this final chapter is dedicated to a great man who risked his life every day so that others may be safe and who paid a great price never once questioning "why me" but only looked upon the challenges as being stepping-stones to a greater understanding. Sean, my friend and my hero...this is for you. Blessings Taylor. Justin and Adam Adam wracked his brain for the right thing to say. What did you say in a note like this without it being regarded as a bad joke? It wasn't as if he wrote these every day so he closed his eyes and prayed for a higher power to help him with the right words. He glanced nervously at the door hoping that Justin would give him just a few more minutes. As if on queue, Justin's agitated voice broke the silence. "Did you fall in or something? Come on sweetheart, you're pretty enough so let's go!" Adam winced and frantically thought of something flippant to say. "Yeah alright big boy. Don't get your panties in a knot! Give me one more minute." Adam rolled his eyes to the ceiling praying that his false bravado would buy him some time. Justin didn't hammer on the door again so it had worked..At least for a little while. So back to the note. God what was he going to write? He began. 'This is NOT a joke! I am being taken against my will and I don't know where we're going. Call the police as soon as you can! Please believe me! He has my friend Stephen too. This is NOT a joke!" That will just have to do. God I hope it works! Adam thought to himself. Folding the note into a tiny square, he tucked it against his palm. Maybe there would be a nurse along the way that he could pass it to? Taking a deep breath he unlocked the bathroom door and stepped back into his room. Wanting for the first time to just stay there and pull the covers up over his head. Justin moved in close and took his arm. "Let's get this show on the road. What do you say?" Without giving Adam a chance to reply Justin escorted him out into the hallway and towards the nurses station. Adam almost walked with his eyes closed, afraid to see no one manning the desk but as it turns out there is a God and tonight He was on Adam's side! There she was. The fabulous Nurse Jenkins. Adam's number one fan and he couldn't have planned this any better if he tried. She would believe him and surely do everything she could to come to his aid. Nurse Jenkins looked up in surprise at the movement on her floor. Her eyebrows raised questioningly as she watched the two very handsome men walk in her direction. She recognized them both of course but moved to stop them both anyway. It was after 11pm and it was way past visiting hours and when the mood struck her, she was a stickler for the rules. "Well. Well. Two good lookin' men on my floor and me in my borin ol uniform. And where do the two of you think you're going at such an hour?" Adam felt Justin stiffen beside him and he knew that he had not planned for this little dent in his plan. Adam took the lead and stepped forward moving out of Justin's grasp. He reached for Nurse Jenkin's hand and looked at her with what he hoped was an expression of sincerity and "please help me!" He pushed the little square of paper into her hand and bent to kiss it's top. He shook his head almost imperceptibly, willing her not to react to the intrusion of the paper. She seemed to understand and began to play along with the game. " Well I know Adam is doing ok now and he hasn't been out of this place since he got here so I thought it would be a nice evening to go for a walk. Come on gorgeous....Let him out for good behavior huh?" Justin gave his best winning smile and Adam saw Nurse Jenkins blanch as if she had just eaten something unsavory. Once again Adam looked at her but this time the message in his eyes was "please let us go. Just get help!" She appeared to be thinking about it but had already made up her mind. She was curious to read the note Mr. Watts had slipped in her hand and by the looks he was giving her this was going to require help from the police. She smiled grandly at them both and waved them away. "Just don't be taking my patient out too long Justin you hear!" As they moved away Justin chuckled confidently. "I knew she just couldn't resist my charms. Stupid fat cow." His hand closed around Adam's arm once more and they rounded the corner heading out to the parking lot. The second they were out of sight Nurse Jenkins practically ripped open the note and as she read her eyes widened with disbelief. Dear Lord please help Mr.Watts and his dear friend! She muttered to herself and got on the phone to the police. She hoped Darren was on shift tonight. She had worked with him before and he didn't screw around. He knew how to get the job done. A familiar deep voice answered. "Darren is that you? Listen I need you at the hospital now! Come right now please!" He promised to be there yesterday and hung up. Nurse Jenkins wrung her hands together with worry. Please let them be ok. Justin drove around the hospital parking lot for a few minutes then took what looked to be a service entrance alley. It was dark and foreboding and Adam hoped to God that Nurse Jenkins was now rounding up the cavalry. Where in the hell were they going? He wanted very badly for this whole nightmare to be over and maybe he and Stephen could start a new chapter in life together. The feelings were still there and came flooding back with a vengeance when he looked into Stephen's eyes and he knew that when Stephen heard the entire story he would forgive and forget. He had never been a person who held grudges towards another in fact Adam had always been impressed with Stephen's ability to live and let live. He glanced nervously at Justin but didn't comment. He wanted things to go smoothly until they were found....if they ever were. Justin seemed to read his mind. "Tell me have you ever heard of the phrase "hiding in plain sight?" Well that's exactly what we're going to do. The hospital grounds are the last place they will look when they finally figure out you're gone. This place is never used anymore so we can get to know each other without being disturbed." Justin glanced at the object of his desire and felt a surge of power run through his body. Yes this is going to be a fun evening. Adam refused to look terrified but his insides turned to jelly. What if Justin had already hurt Stephen and by going along with this demented plan, Adam was just playing into Justin's hands? He hadn't seen a weapon or anything so what was to stop him from bolting from the car and screaming his lungs out and running like a madman? Once again reading Adam's mind Justin looked like the cat who ate the canary. "Just in case you were thinking about running I do have a knife you know and I certainly can use it if you wish." Adam didn't hear a word. In his mind he saw himself jumping from the car and then a flash of hot pain as Justin sank the knife in his leg. If that was all that happened at least he could still hobble and yell but if the knife hit something really important it would all be for nothing. Adam thought of Stephen alone in the dark somewhere and how scared and angry he must be and in that instant he saw everything with such clarity. He had abandoned Stephen once and he wasn't about to do it again. If he lost his life doing so then it would be worth it to save the one person that had loved Adam with all of his heart. Taking a deep breath and willing himself not to panic he slowly moved his hand towards the door and pulled on the latch but still keeping the door closed. Justin was smiling that arrogant little smirk that Adam had come to hate and not even paying attention to his hostage. In one swift movement Adam flung the door open and as quick as a snake Justin howled in rage and buried the knife into Adam's thigh. Stars danced before Adam's eyes as his body registered the pain but he was running on pure adrenaline by now and kept moving forward in his desperate attempt at freedom. Throwing himself out of the car and with the knife still burning in his leg he began a painful shuffling run towards the street. Then the night lit up with the glaring light of a police car spotlight and Adam froze like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car and in a gesture of survival he held his hands above his head. He heard rather than saw several heavy footsteps running towards him and not being able to hold his body up anymore, Adam sat down on the pavement with a boneless thump. A comforting hand grasped his shoulder and he began to cry tears of relief. He heard Justin shouting. Telling them all to "go and get fucked!" and then being told to "get on the ground now!" Oh my God! Stephen! He had forgotten about Stephen. They had to find him! Just then a tall burly blonde came towards him and knelt down, looking at Adam with concern. "So I am guessing that you're our Nurse Jenkin's favorite patient? We know about your boyfriend and don't worry we'll find him. It's going to be ok Adam." A gentle smile curled his lips and he waved over the paramedics to take care of Adam's leg. Patting Adam's shoulder once more he moved away to organize the search. Adam began to shiver and almost vomited when he was hoisted onto a stretcher and moved into the ambulance. His leg felt very cold and his head swam with dizziness. Please. Please help them to find Stephen! If I lost him now.... Lying in the ambulance Adam could hear voices calling Stephen's name then some slowly moved further away. Having been given a big dose of morphine he drifted away until there was nothing. Stephen and Adam Adam groaned loudly as he tried to move and found that it only increased the agony in his leg. "Hey there handsome. It's about time you woke up." There was Stephen smiling like a fool and holding his hand in a death grip. Adam squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before opening them again, wanting this not to be a dream. Nope he was still sitting there, looking a little tired but as beautiful as ever! Adam gingerly lifted the hand holding his and brought it to his lips. It was like coming home. The taste of Stephen's skin and his big capable hands. Adam shivered from the memory of what those hands used to do to his body. Stephen stood and lent down to take Adam's lips with his. He wanted so much more but knew it would just have to wait. Over the next few days, the two reunited lovers shared stories and tears and finally the day came for Adam to be released. Stephen wanted him to come home so they could at long last live together but he knew that Adam had so many memories here and then of course his daughter was here too. Nurse Jenkins had told them that they had to release her body to the funeral home because they could no longer keep her at the hospital and that she had made the arrangements on Adam's behalf. She begged with her eyes for him not to be upset with her but he only held her instead and felt blessed to have made such a friend. She also told them about what had happened with Justin. Determined not to be taken he went down in a hail of gunfire and to injured to be saved he passed away lying on the cold pavement. Even though Justin had put them both through hell, Adam felt sorry for him and wished for a happier ending. There had not been a service for Lilly of course, just a small plot and a lovely headstone to visit and the funeral home had waived the cost for which Adam was truly grateful. So after saying goodbye to his favorite nurse and promising to "not be a stranger" the two men went to visit Adam's baby girl, and Sergeant Darren Williams, a.k.a. Mr. Handsome their personal chauffeur drove them there and would be around for as long as they both needed. He still had not answered Stephen's request about going home with him but he knew he had to make a fresh start. There were memories here but tragedy too and he knew that Lilly would always be with him no matter where he was. Holding tightly to Stephen's hand, they walked to Lilly's grave and Stephen helped Adam sit. He tried unsuccessfully not to break down and watched as Adam said one last goodbye. Adam sat; relishing the warmth of the sun on his back and praying for the strength it was going to take to really say goodbye to his baby. Tears ran down his face but he paid them no mind and sat staring at the small angel Nurse Jenkins had chosen for Lilly. Just one simple sentence said it all. "Daddy's Little Angel." Adam pressed his face to the ground. "Daddy has to go now baby, but don't be afraid. I'll always be with you and I will always love you." He whispered and then with one last glance he motioned for Stephen to help him stand. Stephen marveled at Adam's strength. " I wish I could have met her. I'm sure she was just like her dad. Full of passion and grace." Stephen turned to Adam and grasped both of his hands. " I love you...you know? I don't think I ever stopped. Would you come and live with me? Please?" Adam closed his eyes and held his face to the heavens. He knew the answer. He felt it deep in his soul. "Go on daddy. I'll be ok. I'll come and see you all the time I promise." It was Lilly...He swore it was her voice that he heard. That was the sign he had been waiting for. "Stephen, I would be truly honored to be with you. With you by my side I can get through anything. So yes. Let's go home." Stephen wrapped his arms around Adam and kissed him passionately. Finally, they could get on with living their lives without regrets. Hearing a discreet cough they broke apart and smiled at the blushing Darren who then escorted them back to the motel Stephen was staying at. "Ok listen you two. Just call when you need a ride. We can't have you riding a bus to the next town so I'll give you a ride to the airport. So make arrangements to get out of Dodge then call ok?" Darren clapped them both on the back and practically shoved them through the door. "Now get in there and make up for lost time!" Grinning wildly he drove away leaving both Adam and Stephen giggling like schoolboys on a first date. Stephen waved in the general direction of the bed. "Well, you heard the man. Strip!" Then dissolved into laughter at the look on Adam's face. Walking towards the man he loved, he only smiled gently and said, "I was joking. Adam, we can take all of this as slow as you want. Don't get me wrong I want to practically rape you because for me, it's like we were never apart but you need to let me know when to slow down ok." Adam closed the gap between them in a single step and crushed Stephen against him wanting to make them as one person, together at last. Running his hands over Stephen was such a familiar act to him and he still remembered where to touch him in all the right places. He gently tilted Stephen's head and sucked gently on his neck eliciting a moan from him that rumbled deep in his chest. Stephens hands ran all over Adam wanting more contact...wanting to get closer still and pulled his shirt up exposing the sweet skin on his back and chest. Tugging it off completely he bent to tickle the pale pink nipples with the tip of his tongue causing Adam to shudder with delight. Stephen stepped back a little, putting some breathing room between them. He panted lightly and tried to compose his thoughts. This was going to end way too fast if he didn't slow things down. "Would you like to have a shower with me? I haven't had someone to wash my back in a long time." He smiled wickedly at Adam and slowly stripped. Standing there naked with Adam's eyes tracing their way over his body made him a little self-conscious but he loved the look of pure lust he saw. Adam's breath caught in his throat as he drank in the gorgeous sight before him. The lean long body, the tight stomach and muscular thighs and what an ass! Then the most mouth-watering morsel of all....at least eight inches of very hard cock that he was just dying to get his lips around. Stephen blushed as he read the thoughts crossing Adam's face. He could never quite get used to being adored with such a passion and then remembering the pain he had caused looked down at the floor. Adam caught the change in Stephen's stance immediately and moved to take him in his arms. "Don't love. It's ok...whatever you're torturing yourself with I forgive you....Do you hear me? I forgive you for it all. It doesn't matter now." He held Stephen close willing him to believe. He felt Stephen relax and he smiled. "Now......where were we?" Capturing Stephen's lips with his once again he walked them to the bathroom then moving away a little he began to take off his own clothes. Now it was Stephen's turn to stare. He had always loved Adam's body and even though he was quite a bit taller and had a bigger build, he moved with such grace and was obviously comfortable in his own skin. Adam took a step into the shower and turned on the water, then took Stephen's hand; he tugged him in under the delicious warm water. There were audible sighs as they both felt the water cascade over tired and aching muscles. Adam took the soap and began a seductive dance over Stephen's skin delighting in the little shivers and gasps that he was causing in his lover. Stephen lent against Adam's chest and for the first time in weeks felt himself truly relax. Adam's fingers traced the contours of Stephen's chest and stomach and brushed tantalizingly close to his aching manhood and brushed against the hard thighs. Stephen felt Adam rock hard against his ass and pushed back loving the feel of his cock delving into his crack. Adam moaned loudly at the contact and pushed back, going a little deeper into Stephen's ass and brushing against his tight puckered hole. He wanted so badly to just fuck him now but he knew he needed to prepare Stephen first. He knelt and shoved Stephen forward causing his ass to touch his chin and with one motion dove right in with his tongue, going in as far as he could. Stephen almost lost it completely and fought to control himself. He could feel Adam's tongue buried inside him and began to buck his hips unable to stop himself any longer. Adam's hands found their way to Stephen's cock and began to tease him, running up and down it's length then grasping his balls and rolling them gently. Stephen couldn't take it any longer and broke away. Gasping for breath he managed to pant out "Please Adam. I can't take it. Please baby just fuck me." That was all Adam needed and lubed himself up with spit then slid slowly inside his man, crying out at the hot velvet tightness that was Stephen's ass. When he was buried to the hilt he paused for a moment just savoring the feeling and felt the tears come again. After all they had been through, here they were like a love story from the movies. Adam sniffled quietly against Stephen's back and wrapped his arms around his chest tugging on the pert nipples. "Oh God! Please fuck me baby. Please!" Stephen sounded desperate now. Wanting release. Adam moved slowly out then back in all the way then once again until Stephen picked up on the rhythm and they began to move as one. Adam suckled on Stephen's neck and ears wanting to taste him everywhere. Stephen's movements became uncoordinated as he felt his orgasm begin to build. Adam was close too now ramming himself deep inside of Stephen, all thoughts of being gentle disappeared as he felt himself being squeezed by Stephen's ass. Once Was Lost Ch. 06 "I'm going to come baby. I can't hold it any more." He whispered harshly in Stephen's ear, sending a shiver across his skin. Stephen rested his head back on Adam and let himself be carried away with the overwhelming sensations assaulting his body. "Come on. Fuck me babe. Harder!" He urged Adam on and with one last thrust they both plummeted over the abyss together. Stephen felt Adam explode inside him and he sprayed the shower wall with his own hot seed. Both convulsing in the awkward movements that come after a powerful orgasm. Stephen reached back to keep Adam buried inside him. Wanting the feeling to last a little longer and Adam moved his head to the side and kissed Stephen passionately. "God. That was fantastic! I always knew we were good together but that was insane!" He smiled broadly at the blush that colored Stephen's cheeks. God he was gorgeous! Adam softened and could no longer hold himself inside Stephen. He laughed proudly at the amount of come oozing out. "Now that is a lot of come! Damn I'm good!" Stephen slapped his ass and drew him in close once more. I could just drown in those eyes. He felt his own fill with tears. Now it was his turn to hide. Adam cupped his chin and lifted his head back up so he could look Stephen squarely in the eyes. "You know, a wise man once told me something....Whatever you're torturing yourself with....It doesn't matter. I forgive you. It's all over and we are together. Oh and something else..I love you Stephen. With every beat of my heart, with every breath I take....I love you." They both stood under the water a moment longer then got out and not bothering to dry themselves snuggled under the covers. For the first time in a very long time, Adam thought as he drifted off to sleep I can't wait until tomorrow! The End. So dear friends, I hope you enjoyed the final chapter and thank you for your understanding. Blessings Taylor.