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Montana Ch. 02

By: MJRoberts



 (There is no underage sex in this, or any of my stories.)

Thanks to all the readers who have reached out and become friends. For all those who have sent compliments, this story is for you.

If you haven't reached and out contacted yet, go ahead, do it.

Enjoy!

MJ 

Chapter 6

Again for a second, neither of us moved.

Then slowly he began to stroke, and I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. 

I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I took in the reality of him, the manly clean smell, the prickly alive feel of his skin, the hot energy pulsing through him. There was a great magic being close to him, feeling his soul, all of it overwhelming, and so, so much better than all of my fantasies combined. 

"Noah," he mumbled and lifted his butt to push his jeans down a little further so they were around his thighs. He tightened his grip around my hand, and I groaned. 

"Fuck, that feels good, don't stop," he whispered.

"As if I could," I whispered into his neck, and he laughed.

He started stroking faster. I felt it all the way down in my TOES! I threw one leg over the bottom of his. I grit down on my teeth, hoping I wouldn't come in my pants just from the energy wafting off him.

"That's it," he whispered. 

I had to fight my urge to pump and grind my hips into his side. I was riding his pleasure. It was the biggest high of my life, and I didn't want to embarrass myself, or miss a second of it. I felt like my heart was expanding so fast, I could barely keep up. 

Kevin was making these soft, quiet grunting noises, and I knew he must be close.

"NOAH!" he whispered and came all over our hands and his stomach and chest.

"Oh fuck, God. Shit," I said. I snapped back to reality, suddenly confused and embarrassed. I had actually done that with Kevin. For real. I just had my first sexual experience with someone else!

I wanted to lick my hand, but I was way too embarrassed. I leaned over Kevin to get some tissues and tried to clean my hand, and to clean him up, but I was making a sticky paper mache mess, making it worse, not better.

"Fuck, shit, God dawg dang it," I said.

He laughed. Oh, my God.

"Kev???! Are you okay?"

He had his head lolled back on the pillow. He turned and looked at me. Slowly he grinned. "Oh, I don't know," he drawled, his voice full of sarcasm. 

I relaxed a little.

"I'll get you a washcloth."

I jumped up and quietly tiptoed to the bathroom. I touched my tongue to my hand quickly before I washed my hands, but I was too overwhelmed to notice much of a taste. I wanted to hurry back. I got a washcloth. I wasn't sure if wet or dry would be better so I just wet one corner and wrung it out really good and brought it back to him. I handed it to him without saying anything. I watched him wash up.

"It's your birthday, but it looks like I got a present," he said quietly.

"Ah, I gotta go!" I said. I ran out of there.

My breath was still galloping away from me when I dove under my covers and put my hands behind my head. I stared at the ceiling for a while, my hard-on throbbing and thoughts zooming around my head like pinballs.

I forced myself to close my eyes and think. At first I felt bad, like maybe I manipulated him into letting me touch him, but his last words stayed with me. That didn't sound like a guy who regretted getting touched.

I knew Kevin had had a girlfriend back home. What was her name? Mary. He had talked about how they'd started dating when they were very young. I remembered when he first came he said that they weren't going to try to be exclusive long distance, but I couldn't remember if they'd exactly broken up either. How many times had he gone home since he'd been with us—four?

I gnawed on piece of loose skin on my lip while I thought about it. Insecurities tried to pry their way into my brain and so did labels. He seemed to really like what I did to him. Was it because he was a liberal from New York? Was he gay but didn't know it? Did this make him bi? I remembered a video I saw in sixth grade health-ed of two boys together on a slide. The part of the video was about how it was normal for kids of the same sex to experiment. Is that what this was to him? An experiment?

I had to quiet my brain. I was driving myself crazy. Also, I felt like I wasn't asking myself the right questions. Maybe what I should be asking myself was did I regret going to Kevin's room? The answer was no.

I got up and went to the barn to visit Eagle-eye. I leaned against her. "Nothing is this complicated for you, is it, girl?"

The next morning I did not want to get out of bed. I hit the alarm three times, and it was after six AM before Clay came pounding on my door. 

"Noah? Are you sick? The cows aren't gonna milk themselves, you know."

"I'm coming," I said.

I dragged my ass out of bed. The truth was I was afraid to face Kevin, and I was kind of hoping he'd be out in the fields already. No such luck. He was at the stove dishing up chocolate chip blueberry pancakes.

"Lazy ass," Kevin said when he saw me and smiled. And just like that I knew we were okay.

I adjusted my glasses, pushing them higher up the bridge of my nose, smiled a shy, half smile at both Kevin and my brother, and sat down.

"Noah, you look like crap," Clayton said. 

"Clay, don't feed him any more beer," Kevin said. He put a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of me. "If this is what he's like after drinking, take away his leftover birthday cake too, 'cause our boy looks hung-over."

I reached to the middle of the table to grab some orange juice, and I had to duck my head to hide my smile when Kevin said 'our boy'.

"Lay off, jackass," I mumbled. "Or I'll make you do my share of the work."

"You always do," he said good-naturedly.

"Knock it off, dumb and dumber," Clay said. "Noah, I was searching the internet yesterday, and I found a big place in California that does horse rides for kids. Call them later today, and see if they've got some suggestions for you. I emailed the ladies there, and they seem really nice, and knowledgeable."

"Great," I said.

"Kevin, I ordered oats, but I want you to figure out what kind of cherries we want to plant. I did some preliminary research, and there's a lot of different kinds. Who knew there were that many types of cherries? Find out what you want, and I'll talk to Jenny Mae about ordering some."

"You got it, boss," Kevin said.

"You sure you're all right?" Clay asked me.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't fuss." Clay came over and rubbed his knuckles into a noogie onto the top of my head, grabbed his cowboy hat, and left.

"I'll mend that part of the fence on the western side while you're milking the cows," Kevin said.

"All right." I watched Kevin grab his hat and go out the back door. I looked down at my plate. I'd eaten everything on it without really realizing it.

"It's no big deal. Everything's okay. It's fine. Everyone's fine," I said to myself.

Kevin popped his head back in the door. "What's that?"

"Yargh!" I said. "Nothing. I was just talking to myself."

He smiled, winked at me, and then he was gone.

"Asshole," I muttered.

I grabbed my hat and went to check on the cows.

*

I managed to pay attention to my work during the day. But nighttime was a different story. For the next three nights Kevin was on my mind constantly. Triple X rated fantasies played through my mind. Concerns that maybe I pushed him when I shouldn't have plagued me. 

I had been selfish going to his room like that, I knew it. Completely selfish. 

I wondered if maybe I should talk to him about it, but I was too shy to broach the subject. Maybe I should just ignore it, pretend it never happened.

I visited the horses in the middle of the night each night. Eagle-eye got so much brushing her coat didn't just gleam, it shone as if she was lit from within. On the third night I think I actually dozed standing up, with my head against her shoulder.

On the fourth night, at about 11:30, I tiptoed down the hall and knocked on Kevin's door.

He whispered, "Come in." It sounded like he was awake.

"Hey." I whispered my hello.

He lifted one edge of the sheet covering him.

Holy shit, he wants me to lay down next to him? I closed my eyes and balled my fists, begging for control and sending a fervent prayer up to God. The prayer mostly sounded like, 'thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.'

"Dude. Ya just gonna stand there?"

I silently slipped into bed next to him.

"It's been so long I was thinking maybe you didn't like it last time," Kevin said with a quirk in his voice. I looked at him to see if he was joking. He was. "It's been so many nights I thought maybe you were going to wait until your next birthday before you came back to me." 

"You could have knocked on my door too," I said.

"Oh, hell no," he said with a teasing lilt in his voice. "You want it, you gotta come and get it."

"I want it," I said in a husky whisper.

"Yeah?" he asked in a voice just as deep. He took my hand and put it on his bare hip. My temperature spiked about a hundred degrees, and my toes tingled at the first touch of his smooth skin. "Then come get it."

I tucked my head into his neck. I slid my hand around toward his front, hesitantly dipping the tips of my fingers into his pubic hair and then pulling away.

"Come on, Noah," he whispered to the top of my head. "Do it."

I wrapped my hand around his cock and gave him one slow stroke before he said, "Wait." I had a moment of panic when he took my hand away. Then he brought it to his mouth. His tongue darted out and touched the middle of my palm. I arched into him, and he chuckled, a low, deep, warm sound. He licked my hand, leaving it moist and hot.

"Now, let's try again," Kevin said. "Do you want to feel my cock?"

"Yeah," I whispered and he put my hand back on his dick.

"Because I want you to, too," he said.

My eyes rolled back in my head. I took a risk and planted a small kiss on his neck. I stroked him, up and down, up and down, trying to keep the pace steady and not let it run away from me.

"Faster, Noah, please, more, just...."

I sped up the pace, and I felt all his muscles tighten. Then he amazed me by putting a hand over the hard bulge in my pajama bottoms, and just from that one, light touch, I came.

And then he did.

The contented, warm, masculine sound of his laughter on top of my head warmed my heart. 

"You can help me out anytime if it ends like that," Kevin said.

My face burned.

"I'll get a washcloth," I said.

I still didn't know if he liked it better wet or dry, because I hadn't asked him and he didn't say anything last time. So I did the same thing as before, wetting one corner and wringing it out. I brought it to him and handed it to him in silence.

"Thanks," he said softly.

I was still sticky inside my pajama pants, but I stayed a second to watch him clean himself. His hair was tussled, and his cheeks flushed, and his bottom lip red and plumped out where he must have bit it. Slices of moonlight illuminated his chest.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered to myself. Oh my God, I said that out loud! "I gotta go!" I said. I quietly ran out of the room and shut the door.

Chapter 7

I was sure I would feel humiliated the next day at breakfast, but Kevin acted like everything was normal. We had to muck stalls, and check on the chickens, and do a hundred things that always had to be done, and he didn't seem any different. The fact my whole world had sort of shifted somehow was weird, but the fact that by day he was still the same was nice.

He made lasagna for dinner that night. One of my favorite meals.

I checked the website Clay had told me about. Those women in California looked like they had a sweet setup. I called them, and I talked to a really nice lady for about an hour. I hadn't thought about running a summer camp for therapeutic purposes, but I could see where that would have its advantages. We had gorgeous summer weather. We could get grants. We could really do some good. My first thought had been to open a school for local folks, but the more I talked to this woman, the more unlikely that seemed. People around here had their own horses and taught their own kids. She gave me a lot to think about.

I managed to last through one night without getting up and visiting him, but it was long and tortuous. I spent so much time tossing and turning and fighting myself I'm surprised I didn't wear a hole in the mattress. I knew if I were honest with myself, I wouldn't be able to resist trying again.

The next night at 11:30 I knocked on Kevin's door again.

"Can I come in?"

"Hell, yeah."

I closed the door behind me. Now it was my turn to give a warm laugh. All my insecurity of the last few days left me. He lifted the side of the sheet, and I slid into bed next to him.

"I've been looking forward to this," I whispered.

"Me too," he said.

I tucked my face into Kevin's neck. I didn't reach right for his hip this time. I stroked a wide circle on his chest. He murmured a sound I took for assent. For a second I thought he might stop me, say that it was too much, not within our tentative agreement of helping each other out. I tweaked his nipple. As he arched up into me, I smiled into his neck.

"So good," he whispered.

"Yeah," I whispered back. Then I let my hand slide down further.

I wrapped my hand around his cock. His hips bucked up a little bit into my hand, which made me smile all over. 

This was what I wanted, God, this was all I ever wanted.

I could feel the tension in him winding up tighter and tighter. He opened his mouth, panting hard. I stroked faster and slower, squeezed my hand tighter and let it loosen a little. I slid my hand right over the top, and then back to the base. I felt it all in my own cock as well, which felt hard enough to use as a hammer.

The energy arched between us, and I heard the thundering tha-thump of his heartbeat. 

"Aauuuugh. Fuck!" he said. And he came in a glorious, riotous explosion.

I let all the tension roll out of me. "I feel like I'm using you," I whispered.

He laughed. "Yeah. Hardship."

I went to him every night after that, at 11:30 on the dot, and did pretty much the exact same thing. He laid on his back, and I laid next to him on my side. I tucked my head into his neck or close to it, or maybe near his armpit or shoulder. In a way we were barely touching. I buried the side of my face into his space, but I usually kept our torsos carefully apart. I cautiously touched his hip and his pubic hair. He was always hard when I reached for him. And I always smiled my secret smile, so big I thought my face would break. I loved the feeling of his hardness, the velvet over steel, and his smell, and the energy wafting over him. I couldn't wait to stroke him, have him come in my hand.

I was addicted. And every time I came to him, every time I made him come, I became more attached, more and more wanting, more and more a man with his heart expanded.

Every night I was dying to touch him. I already felt like I was taking advantage of him. Even if that didn't make much sense, having his cock in my hand gave me such a rush, such a feeling of electrifying goodness, that nothing else mattered. 

One night, after he exploded onto his stomach, and I, as usual, into my pajama pants just from feeling him get off, I actually said something before I jumped up to get a washcloth.

"Kev? Am I using you too much? Pushing you too much?" I had my head tucked into his neck, and for a second I was afraid to look up.

"Noah," he said. "No, you're a horny teenager. I'm here. I get it. It's no big deal."

I jumped up and got the corner-only-wet washcloth. He was right. We were buddies. I just needed not to make too much out of it. I got myself together.

"I just want to make sure you're okay." I handed him the washcloth. 

He nodded. "I'm okay." I watched him wash up. "Are you okay?"

I smiled. "Yeah. I'm better than okay. I'm perfect."

*

We had decided to buy cherry trees that had already had a few years of maturity to them. As summer started, we tended them, watching their beautiful start. The true magic of God, crisp air, and perfect Montana sun.

I watched the tight, small, pink buds of the cherries start. One night, I let my head be just a tiny bit further down, and flicked my tongue out over the pink tip of Kevin's nipple. I didn't know if they'd be sensitive, and I fully expected him to stop me. My own nipples tingled in response. When he didn't stop me, I did it again and again, finally suckling hard like a newborn calf. When he moaned softly at the combination of my lips and my hand, I came hard in my pajama pants, harder than I ever had. My sigh could probably be heard in three counties.

The next night, when I touched him Kevin, he wrapped his arm around my body, and his palm pressed tight against my lower back. His hand firmly pulled me, kept pushing me closer to him, so I was completely pressed up against his side. That hand warmed me inside and out, in my mind it made it seem less like we were two friends passing in the night and more like lovers. 

I shouldn't let myself fall in love. Kevin had made no promises. But if I were honest, it was way too late for me to rein in my emotions and pull back. But I didn't examine it too closely; I didn't want to be brave enough to be that honest.

As summer got hotter our cherries came into beautiful full bloom, ripe and luscious, a dark, dark, ruby-burgundy red. We spent every spare minute cherrying—it was cherry, cherry, cherry at our farm. Picking cherries, selling cherries, freezing cherries, canning cherries, and making cherry jam, and cherry pies, and even cherry juice, and of course, eating cherries. Hell, some mornings we even had cherry pancakes. Clay drew the line at the idea of cherry omelets. 

It got to the point where I felt like we bled cherries. Our fingers were stained red. And every night, when I went to Kevin's bedroom, and his bed, his clean, masculine scent smelled of cherries. And despite my cherry overload, I wanted to eat him up.

It was the last day of July a beautiful day, and a beautiful night, when I lay my head on Kevin's stomach, instead of his chest. I blew on his pubic hair and his beautiful, big erection as I stroked him. It was so wonderful being this close to him, getting to watch the action up close, extremely close. Blowing my cherry breath over that smooth skin and knowing he felt me in a more intimate way than ever. I moved my head away at the last minute, when his body bowed up, afraid that he would freak, and take away the chance for me to do that wonderful close-up breath gift and show again.

It was the next night, after a few minutes of me having my head on his stomach, slowly stroking his cock, and lazily watching him, when I felt his hand very gently on the back of my head.

"Do it, No. Blow me." 

I snapped my head up and looked at him. I couldn't believe it. Our eyes met. I could see his eyes glowing in the moonlight. 

"I'm dying here. I need to be. In. Your. Mouth."

I blinked. Over and over again. Never in a million years would I imagine he would say that. My brain couldn't catch up. I couldn't believe it.

"I know you want to," he whispered. "Do it. Suck my cock."

Holy shit.

He stroked himself.

"Suck me."

Oh my God.

I had no idea how.

I licked my lips. Then I bent over him, and I tentatively licked the tip.

"Come on, Noah, put your hot mouth around me."

Fuck. Was he talking dirty to turn me on more?

"I'm begging you."

I thought of the calves, and how they suckled a teat. They stuck their tongue way out, and put it as far down on the underside of the of the teat as they could, pulled their mouths opened wide and went way up toward the base, and then sucked for all they were worth. So that's what I did. 


Montana Ch. 02



"Oh, fuck."

I pulled off a little bit, used my hand to hold the bottom of him, wrapped my lips around my teeth a little and sucked some more. I wasn't doing this right.

All I wanted was to please him. I thought about the motion of how my hand went over him, and tried to mimic that with my mouth, up and down, and then with my hand and mouth together. I thought about how he had said 'hot mouth'. I tried to make my mouth hot and wet and tight around him, pulling the suction in, and keeping a rhythm I thought he'd like, and pouring all the love and energy into it I could.

And something clicked and suddenly I LOVED it. I was meant to do this. Without meaning to, I went faster and faster, harder and harder. My God, his dick was in my mouth. This was Kevin. Kevin! As much as I loved all those nights when I had his cock in my hand, this was better. Way BETTER.

Kevin was making these quiet grunting noises, a heavy passionate, unh, unh, unh, and I was so turned on I thought I was going to explode. Suddenly with a hard shove to my shoulder he pushed me off him. He took one stroke to himself and burst over his stomach and chest, and I came a second later.

I sat back on my haunches.

"Fuck. That was the greatest blow job I've ever had, and I've had a few. Noah, that was amazing."

"I've never done that before," I said sheepishly.

"Well, you're a natural. That's freaking fantastic. You can do that any day."

"My pleasure," I said with a shy smile.

And if you hadn't pushed me off you we wouldn't have had to worry about clean up, I thought.

"I'll get you a washcloth," I said.

"No need," he said. He pulled a small hand towel out of his bed side drawer.

"Oh," I said. Then I just sat there. I didn't know what to do. What do you do after you give your buddy a blow job? I usually got up and got him a washcloth, but now I didn't even have that. I stroked his thigh once. "Okay. I think I'll go now," I said.

"All right."

I left.

I went back to my room, cleaned up, and resumed my standard post fooling around pose, flat on my back with my arms behind my head. I stared up at the ceiling with a goofy grin on my face. But after a minute, doubts started to creep in. I wondered if this made Kevin think I was gay now, if he'd think of me differently or treat me differently. If this were a movie, there probably would have been a romantic dinner or moment in front of a castle or something moment where we talked about how we really felt. But I wasn't much of a talker, and not just because I was shy. I was more of a visual person than a verbal one, I guess. Besides, everything was amazing, I didn't want to do anything to fuck it up. This new development was definitely okay. I smiled. I couldn't wait to have him in my mouth again.

*

It was impossible to believe that there'd be that many cherries to pick. And we still had the flax. And the farm animals. And one of the cows got sick. Thank God I took my GED test, and Clay wasn't making me study any more. I didn't have the time. I really focused on my chores during the day, which was tough, because boy, was I looking forward to my nights.

I really wanted to research how to give a good blowjob on the internet, but I was afraid that Clay would check the computer history and find out what I was up to. But every day at lunch I let my mind wander, hoping my creativity would come up with something. Every night I had something new to try. Finally I overcame my shyness and just came out and asked Kevin.

"Hey, I want to get better at this, can you give me some pointers?"

He laughed. "Dude, you should give a class. If there's anybody who doesn't need any pointers, it's you."

I blushed, my cheeks probably getting as red as the cherries, but got down to business. I guess my passion for it counted for something.

I ran my cheek down his stomach first. I buried my face in his pubic hair, smelling him. I used my hand to follow my mouth all the way up and off, swirling my hand over the top when I bobbed off with a resounding smack. Just like with the animals, I tried to read every clue of body language. Every twitch, every hip thrust, every moan. Every snorting exhale from his nose, every pant from his mouth, every groan, grunt. I lived for his pleasure. His pleasure was mine. 

To say I was having the best summer of my life was an understatement.

I was euphoric. It was so new, and shiny, and amazing, and wondrous. Of course, I wanted to make silly analogies to popping cherries, although of course nothing actually got popped.

And for me it was spiritual. Even though I knew he couldn't possibly feel the expanded, wonderful way I felt, the connection was miraculous. Better than miraculous if there was a word in the English language for it.

If I had let myself wander into guessing what was in his head, to wonder and compare what he did or didn't feel for me compared to what I felt for him, it's possible all the amazing sense of greatness I felt would be crushed. So I didn't ask. I didn't guess. I focused on the fact I was pretty damned happy, and if I judged by the amount of cum Kevin let out at night, he was pretty damn happy too.

After the first night he let me drink him down. And in taking him in physically, I felt like I took him in in every way. Made him a part of me.

Sometimes, after I went back to my room, it made me cry. And not because it wasn't enough. Just because it was so good.

Chapter 8

Labor Day came around, and Clay actually gave us the day off. I think he did it because he was sick to death of cherries. Cherry season was finally over. I felt like we'd never get the red-purple off the pads of our fingers, and if I never saw another cherry for as long as I lived, it would be too soon for me.

I actually slept until 6:30 AM. I didn't even want to get dressed. I came out to the kitchen table in a robe. Clay was at the table drinking coffee, and Kevin was at the stove.

"Whadda ya want for breakfast?" Kevin asked us. "Cherry blintzes?"

Clay gave him the finger.

"What's a blintz?" I asked.

"Don't encourage him," Clay said. "I don't give a fuck. If it has cherries in it, the answer is no."

Kevin laughed.

"Wise ass," Clay mumbled and snapped open the newspaper.

Kevin made a ton of food, and I ate so much, I was groggy. I turned around and eyed my bedroom.

"Cows still need to be milked," Clay said.

"So much for our day off," I mumbled under my breath.

"Ungrateful wise ass," Clayton said. He swatted me on the ass with the newspaper.

After chores I actually had time to lounge around on the porch for a little bit with a good book. At lunch Clay announced he had a date with Sherry that night. He was taking her out for a fancy dinner in town, and then they were going away for a night at a bed and breakfast north of Route City.

"After this past year and summer, I could frickin' use the break, and I'm hornier than a bronco, so I'll be out 'til tomorrow. Don't wait up."

I stared at him. He'd never been out overnight, ever.

"What?" he asked, looking at me.

"Nothing," I said. "Good for you."

"Good for Sherry," Kevin said with a snicker.

"Jerkface. You're fired," Clay said good-naturedly. And then he did something I hadn't seen him do in five years... he smiled.

At four o'clock Clay went in the bathroom to start showering and getting ready, and at a little after five he came out into the kitchen. He was wearing a fancy grey suit, white shirt, and a blue tie. I didn't know he owned anything like that. God knew where he got it. He held his hands out and did a slow circle. He was also wearing a brand new pair of cowboy boots.

I gave a loud wolf whistle. "Awwwww," I said. "That suit's so preeeetttty. Too bad you're still too ugly to breed."

"That's it, asshole. You're fired too." He gave me a big smile, a clap on the shoulder, and then he pointed a finger at me. "Don't sprain an ankle or burn the house down."

"Got it."

"No hookers or porn."

I gave him the finger.

"Kevin," Clay said. "Look after my baby brother."

"Right-o."

Clay grabbed his cowboy hat and left.

I couldn't help it. I pumped my fists in the air and did the touch down boogie-boogie dance. Too late I realized I probably looked really stupid. I stopped dancing. I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose.

"What's for dinner?"

"Cherry pizza."

My face fell.

Kevin laughed.

"Just kidding. Regular pizza."

"You made pizza?"

"Yeah. Well so far I just made the dough. When Clay said he was going out I figured that was cause for celebration."

I started dancing again. Wiggling my ass around and walking backwards.

Kevin laughed. "Stop that. You're going to break something."

I stopped. I did one more booty shake just for good measure. Then I stared at Kevin. "Can I help?"

"Sure. Come on. You can grate cheese and arrange the pepperonis into a smiley face."

Kevin took out his mp3 player and blasted music, a wide mix of everything from Alicia Keys, and Adele, to Garth Brooks, The Beatles, Nirvana, Areosmith, Santana, and Slipnot. The pizza took longer than I thought to cook but not so long to eat. I was quickly sated and debating about whether to turn on the TV or go back to my book.

Then I caught the look on Kevin's face.

He slowly stalked around the table and grabbed me by the back of the neck. Hard.

What????

He bent over and put his lips down to my ear. "You know, you've been so good to me," he growled. "Don't you think it's time I returned the favor?"

What? What?

He pulled me up by the neck and dragged me over toward the sink, pushing my hands out at the last minute so I grabbed the edge of the sink to avoid being slammed into it.

He smacked his hips up against my ass. I felt the semi-hard outline of him against me.

I couldn't believe how turned on I was.

Kevin let go of my neck, ran his hands down my chest, and rubbed one hand over my crotch.

"Payback time," he said.

I threw my head back. "Oh, fuck."

He pressed his chest into my back. "No one home but us," he said. "You can be as loud as you want."

Holy crap.

"Now it's time for me to help you out."

"Oh, my God."

He laughed.

Kevin pulled my shirt out of my jeans. He ran one finger under the waistband. He stopped. Hooked one finger in my belt loop. Paused.

"You fucking bastard," I said with a laugh in my voice. "You're getting off on the control."

"You bet, buddy."

Then he bit me.

I took a sharp inhale, and I saw stars.

I grit my teeth and willed myself not to come.

I stared out the window, flexed my hands, and focused on my breath.

Kevin flicked the top snap of my jeans open. Caressed me over the denim. God, I was so hard, I wasn't sure he'd be able to get my fly open. 

I could feel the energy arc between us. Every time we'd been together, I knew that I'd pleased him, but part of me always wondered if he'd really been into it. This time I didn't wonder. He raked his teeth down the side of my neck. I always serviced him. I was always subservient to him. But this time he was dominating me. And he was REALLY into it. 

He wrangled my zipper down. Pulled the halves of fly open. Stroked my cock over the thin, soft cotton of my boxer briefs. 

"Oh, God, Kev," I moaned.

"That's it, No."

I will not come too soon. I will not come.

Kevin yanked my jeans and underwear down.

His fingertips brushed my hip, he teased me, just barely brushed into my pubic hair, touching the side of the base of my cock. 

"Kev."

My cock was fence post hard, the tip leaked pre-cum, and my toes curled under so hard I thought they would break. 

"Please, Kev, don't tease me, I can't last."

"No... ah, you want me touch your cock? Grab it? Stroke it? Pump it?"

I didn't think I could get any hotter, but hearing his husky voice in my ear, I did.

"Do you?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Say it."

"I want you to stroke me."

"Put my hand where you want it."

I wasn't sure I could loosen my hand from its death grip on the lip of the sink, but this might be my only chance to have him do this, and I wasn't going to pass it up. I forced my right hand to work. I reached back, and I put his hand on my hardness.

"Now say it, Noah. Say Kevin, I beg you. Fuck me with your hand."

"Oh God." I will not come yet. Not yet. My toes started to tingle, and my balls seized up. "Please Kev, just do it."

He pulled my cock away from body. He started to pump, slow even strokes. I felt white light fill me, starting with the top of my head and filling everywhere. I knew I wouldn't be able to last. The pleasure was excruciating. It was so great, it was almost painful. I was whining. It was a loud, low keening sound.

I didn't want it to be over yet. I didn't want it to ever end. Please God. Not yet, not yet. I felt like I could feel his heartbeat through my back. His body was getting warmer and warmer. His hand was so large, the callouses so rough, and it was fantastic. I knew, I knew intrinsically that this would be the only time. And I could never get enough. I could never get enough of him. My Kevin. My, my Kevin.

He pumped faster.

Then he stopped. He pulled away.

"Aaugh."

"Hold on, buddy."

Then he was back, his body wrapped tight around mine. He had a kitchen towel. He must have grabbed it off the hook near the stove. He held it in front of my cock and pumped furiously.

I screamed.

"All right, Noah. Come for me. Let me help you this time. Let go."

My whole body bowed back. Huge white bricks of light crashed over my head. Like falling off a horse, breaking my neck, and getting stepped on, I died and fell apart. I exploded—my cum flying into the towel. My heart and soul flying into Kevin, my brain flying into oblivion. 

I sagged against him.

He laughed. A warm, contented chuckle.

The best sound in the universe.

"I guess that was worth waiting for," Kevin said.

I still couldn't speak, so I nodded.

*

The world was trying to recalibrate itself to include, hey now, Kevin had actually touched Noah. My brain kept shorting out. 

"My brain keeps wondering, how can we just be sitting here watching TV when you just turned my whole world upside down?"

Kevin looked over at me.

"Yeah, dude, you're looking a little mind boggled and wrung out."

I let my body become the huge jellyfish it felt like and slink of the couch and onto the floor.

He laughed.

"I guess I took a little too much out of you," Kevin said.

I sat on the floor and scootched until my back was against the couch and my shoulder was near his leg. 

Some teen movie from the nineties was on. One with teenage girls where one girl was wearing glasses and the other girls take her glasses off and change her clothes and give her make-up and she suddenly is the hottest most popular girl in class. The screen switched to a blaring car commercial and Kevin muted it.

I thought about what happened in the kitchen.

"I'm a greedy horn-dog," I said. "I'm always taking from you. I just take and take and take."

Kevin laughed. "It's okay. I get it. I got energy to spare. Take what you need, man."

I felt bad for a second. Maybe I had enjoyed it too much. Maybe Kevin would think I was too gay. I stiffened against him.

He must have felt it.

"Listen," he said softly. The movie came back on but he didn't put back on the volume. "When my mom was sick," he said, and then he paused.

"Yeah?"

"I never talk about this. But when she first got sick, she sent me away. I was thirteen, the youngest. She said she didn't want me to see her go through the chemo and the radiation. But I thought that having me around was too much of a pain and the ass for her. I wanted to be around for her then, but she wouldn't let me." He voice was gravely.

I twisted to look at him.

"So she sent me to live with one of my aunts in New York City. You ever been to New York City?"

I shook my head. "Ut-uh. But I've seen it on TV."

"Not the same. The place is... like no place else. The constant noise. All the gray. The traffic. The smell. The crush of people when you're waiting at the corner for the traffic light to change. The unbelievable lack of green. The weirdness of having no big animals around. The incredible loneliness in a sea of people. 

I learned a lot. My mother insisted that she was going to get better. She was an eternal optimist. But in my heart I knew that wasn't true. I knew she was dying. I knew she only had a finite amount of time left, and I was missing some of it. So I spent a lot of my time watching people. N.Y.C. is a great place for watching people. New Yorker's are sort of an anomaly. They are... ah... really present but in their own little world at the same time. It's like they do what they want. You know?"

I nodded. I wasn't sure what he was getting at.

"I saw people with purple hair. People with mohawks. Guys in miniskirts. Women with suits and sneakers. People with dogs in their purses. People rushing around with phones to their ears, trying to squeeze out every second, trying to make the most of every minute of their day.

"And do you know what I learned? Do you know what I learned the most from that trip?"

I shook my head.

"You just gotta be yourself, man. You have to just, you know, breathe into it. Whatever your dress, eye, hair color. Whatever your flavor."

He fisted his hand through my hair and grabbed it hard, yanking a little and pulling my gaze to his.

"It's like the movie," his gaze flicked to the screen and then back to mine. "You can't dress it up and just be someone else. You have to be who you are. Be who you are, man. No backtracking, second guessing, tap dancing, pussy footing. With your friends, no fronting. It's balls to the wall. Be who you are."

He let go of my hair. He looked back at the screen.

"My mother always lived for everyone else," he said softly. "She was always trying to be this preppy, perfect soccer mom. Putting everyone else first. She was quiet when she didn't want to be. Gave up all her dreams when she married, for my dad and us when she didn't really want to and I wonder if that wasn't what ate her up inside. I wonder if that's what killed her."

He looked down at me.

"I don't want to be like that."

"You're not," I said. 

I thought I was always taking from him, but I realized, right now, this was his way of giving to me.

I crawled in front of him and pushed his knees further open. I scooted in another inch closer to him, kneeling tall. I kept my hands on his knees.

"Thanks for telling me," I said.

He shrugged.

Suddenly he looked like he was going to say something about me being gay and him not and I reached out and put my finger across his lips.

Electricity sprung up between us, searing and hot, and his eyes opened wide. His lips were much softer than I'd thought they would be, and I was hyper aware of his breathing coming out heavily on my finger as I realized I'd never touched his lips before.

"Sssh," I said into the silence.

I leaned up even more, crouching up, bringing my eyes closer to his as if I could see down into his soul. My gaze dropped to his lips. I felt his mixture of fear that I would kiss him, and total trust that I wouldn't. 

I realized we weren't boyfriends, we weren't even lovers. But that untamed, needy energy snapped between us, brutal and hot.

I removed my finger and knelt back down. I slid my hands up the denim over his large thighs, and then back down again. Pressing harder and harder into his jeans until I felt his legs warm, getting closer and closer to that juncture with each pass.

"Shit, No, today is supposed to be about you for once."

"Be about me, huh?" I said.

"Yeah."

"Well then this is me. This is what I want."

I pulled his shirt out and slowly licked his stomach right above his waistband. I unsnapped his jeans and stared at him. I sat back a little bit and teased him, running my thumb over the side of him, watching the outline grow. Feeling the hunger in him build.




Montana Ch. 02



"Oh, fuck," he said. He scooted down on the couch a little bit.

I put one hand on his heart. Thunder cracked in the distance just as an insane thought passed through me that my heart leapt so far out of my chest and into his body, that it was marrying itself to his.

I leaned forward, opened my mouth, and put my whole mouth over him. I breathed one hot puff of air out, through his fly onto his cock.

Kevin put his hands on the back of my head.

"Fuck, shit, oh, holy Mary, mother of God. Fuck."

I leaned back again and smiled.

Gotcha.

"Kevvvvvvinnnn," I said, making the word into the most beautiful long sound I could. My aching, unrequited love song to him.

I went back to rubbing his thighs, feeling that snug, worn material mold to him.

His head lolled to the side.

That's it, Kev. Oh yeah. That's it.

Fire burned my toes. Fuck. I was going to come before I even got his dick out.

I slowly pulled down the zipper of his fly.

He wasn't wearing any underwear.

I grabbed behind his knees and yanked him until his butt was at the end of the couch.

"This is about me? About what I want?"

"Yeah," he said breathlessly.

"All right," I said in a teasing voice.

"Talk dirty to me. And make me."

"What?"

His eyelids had been at half-mast but they flipped open and his gaze popped as I sat back with an expression of 'you heard me'.

"Fuck."

With a lunge Kevin grabbed me by the back of my head and pushed me to him.

"Suck my cock."

I put the tip of him in my mouth.

"All of it. RIGHT NOW. Do it."

I opened my mouth wide and took him all the way down my throat.

Thunder boomed. Closer now.

His grip changed, both of his hands on the back of his head, but gentle.

"Oh, Christ, No, that's fucking amazing, don't stop."

His hands pressed on the back of my head, helping me bob up and down, showing me the rhythm.

I sucked hard, and it felt so good, so hot, so right.

He was making loud, sobbing sounds.

"Noah!"

Having all of him so far down in my throat got to be too much, and I had to back off and use my hand and my mouth.

"That's it, fucking perfect, suck my cock just like that, No, Christ, I love that, more, faster, fuck, awww shit, I shouldn't love the feel of my dick in your mouth this much but, aaah, yeah, that's it.

I slowed down, sucked harder going up and down while he grunted and thrust his hips up into my mouth.

I flicked my gaze up to him and his mouth was open wide as if he was screaming for all he was worth, his hands making huge claws as if the pleasure was so great he was dying to have something to hold on to.

"Noah! I'm coming, oh God, it's com— Aaaaaauuuggggh!"

I swallowed him down and it was sweeter than ever. 

He fell off the couch with a loud boomf.

The love filled me up to the top of my head and beyond. I let out a joyful laugh and crawled next to him, enjoying the beauty in his flushed cheeks. 

"We should send Clay away more often," I said. "Let's buy him a month pass at that place. Or better yet, let's kick him out of the house for good."

Be yourself indeed. This was great. Strength and confidence surged through me. 

There was a loud thunder boom and the power went out.

Chapter 10

I was eating pancakes and bacon when Clay walked in with a jaunty step. He had his blazer slung over his shoulder. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and his shirt was unbuttoned to mid chest, his tie hanging open around his neck. And he was whistling. Whistling.

He took one look at me and said, "What the fuck?"

"What?"

"You're glowing."

"Huh?"

"You, brother. You. Are. Glowing. Radiating. If you were a girl, I'd think you were pregnant."

I ducked my head. "You're imagining it. It's just the September sunshine coming in or something."

"Noooooo," Clay said. "Something's different about you."

He stared. I shoveled in my food. My cheeks burned.

"Did someone from town come pick you up last night?"

"No."

We only had one car, Clay's pick-up truck. I was afraid he'd do the math. I tried to change the subject. "How was your date?"

"Kevin, did you two go out somewhere last night?"

"Nope. We were here."

"Jeez, Clay. You're being paranoid. Let it go."

I stared at my food.

Clay came over, grabbed my chin, and tilted my face up to him. He dropped my chin and turned to Kevin.

"Kevin," he said sharply. "Are you fucking my brother?" His voice went up a lot at the end.

Kevin stared him right in the eyes. "No." Kevin squared his shoulders, flicked his gaze to me doing a quick double check, and then back to Clay. "But I am fooling around with him."

Oh God.

Some of the wind seemed to go out of Clay.

"Who initiated it?" Clay asked.

"I did," I whispered.

"Huh."

That was it.

Clay took a plate out of the cabinet. "What's for breakfast?"

"Pancakes and bacon," Kevin said.

Clay fixed himself a plate and sat down. 

Clay tucked into his food. "This is good," he said to Kevin.

"Thanks," Kevin said.

"You okay?" Clay said to me.

"Yeah."

"Huh," he said.

I looked down and pushed my glasses further up. That's it? Huh? Kevin just lays a whopper like that on you and all you got to say is 'huh.' 

I sneaked a glance at Clay. I couldn't read his expression for sure, but he didn't seem bothered. He seemed... normal. Like, okay. I mean, we lived on a farm. Things happened. No big deal, right?

"So how was your date with Sherry?" Kevin asked.

Clay smiled wide. "Pretty fucking amazing. With an emphasis on the fucking."

We all smiled.

"When are you seeing her again?" I asked.

He shrugged. "When schedules allow. As soon as I can hopefully." He finished eating. "I'm gonna go change and check on the animals at Cooter's place."

I let out a huge sigh, pushed my plate away, and put my forehead on the table.

Kevin laughed. "Well that went well," he said.

"As in, I didn't shit my pants, so I guess everything's okay, yeah."

He laughed again. "Your brother's cool, so we're cool."

"Thank God."

After a minute Clay came out dressed in his standard Western shirt, Wrangler jeans, and worn cowboy boots. He grabbed his hat, nodded, left. He ducked back in.

"Noah?"

"Yeah?"

"Glad I'm not the only one gettin' some."

I let out a huge breath. My cheeks were on fire. Clay shut the door.

"Phew." I stood up and ran out of there.

..... 



I worked and reworked this section, so it took me months of hard work on this story. 

If this story pleased you, then please be so kind as to honor me with a high five. (No pressure, none at all.) It will mean a tremendous amount to me. It's only a mouse click away.

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Thanks, sincerely;

MJ

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. Copyright belongs to MJ Roberts 2014. Please do not reproduce without permission from the author.  



Montana Ch. 03



 I'm so grateful to all the readers who have reached out and become friends. For those of you who haven't reached out yet, go ahead. I try to answer each note individually.

I poured a lot of myself, hard work, sweat, and tears into this story. I hope you find it one of your favorites.

Enjoy!

MJ 

MONTANA

Part 3

Chapter 9

That night at 11:30 when I knocked on Kevin's door, I didn't have to worry that my knock be as quiet as possible, and I knocked a little louder. When he said 'Come in' I threw open the door, closed it behind me, and took a running leap onto the bed. I landed over him crouched on all fours. He swatted me with a playful laugh and pushed me to his side.

"I'm glad we're not hiding it anymore," I whispered.

"We were never exactly hiding it," he said.

True.

He held the sheet up for me, and I slipped under.

That night I didn't tuck my face in his neck but put my lips next to his cheek, letting the lengths of our bodies be stretched out perfectly as he lay on his back, and I lay on my side. Even though he was a few inches taller than me, I felt a hundred feet tall, like we were the same, big inside and out. 

I went right for his cock, letting the joy within me bubble up and over, picturing it was going from my hand right into him. Frogs and crickets were having a huge party orchestra, filling the room with throaty ribbits, cricket clicking, and chirping sounds. His quiet moaning and grunting filled my ears.

I stroked up and down, up and down, squeezing down harder, finally confident I knew exactly how he liked it. His breath hitched, and the world tilted for me, everything opened up even more. I would never say it to him, but I could admit it to myself. I loved him. I loved him more than anything. And when he came in my hand it was like the heavens and earth weren't big enough for how good I felt and how right this was.

Chapter 10

Not only did we have our regular fall gardening, just to feed ourselves, harvesting the comparatively small patch of carrots, potatoes, garlic, asparagus, and beans, we started clearing a huge amount of land to build a big corral for the new teaching facility. We were going on the 'if you build it, they will come' philosophy. 

Before dinner, Kevin came out of his room after washing up holding some papers. "Clay, Noah, I've been crunching some numbers, and with the way we've been thinking, the math doesn't add up."

Clay and I were both sitting at the kitchen table, and we looked up at him. He sat down between us. "Look. We're planning on one large corral and just teaching Montana kids. We're gonna lose money."

We bent our heads over what he had and looked at the figures.

"Fuck, you're right," Clay said.

Shit.

"I'm thinking you've got an alternate plan," Clay said.

"Yeah, three camps. First, city slickers would pay a butt load of money to come to this place."

"Huh?" both Clay and I said at once.

"It's beautiful out here," Kevin said. "People stuck in the big city would kill for the chance to come out here and breathe fresh air, ride horses, and be real cowboys for a week."

"Being a cowboy is tough work," Clay said.

"So we give 'em some of the hard but not back breaking hard stuff to do. We show 'em a few fancy things, you do a lasso demonstration. We lead 'em on some gentle trails, give them a choice of things to do. They can go into town. We can have them stack hay, plant flowers, milk one cow, pick up a few eggs, little stuff. You know, admire the cherry trees, make homemade cherry ice cream. Cooter's place is a lot bigger than this one, and he's got extra rooms. You'd have to put out an initial investment, and then you could build a few extra small cabins out there. Market it as a high-end, real working dude ranch, charge an arm and leg. People who are spending their lives in cubicles under florescent lights would be dying to come for part of the summer, believe me."

"You think that would work?" Clay asked.

"Yes."

"Hhm," Clay said. "You said three camps."

"We could run a therapeutic camp for sick and autistic kids. More and more kids are diagnosed with different kinds of autism every day. We could probably get a grant if we do that, and we could do a lot of good."

"What's the third camp?"

"Bratty rich kids. But not just from here—from all over. Like special summer show camp. Noah would be amazing with kids, and he's a kick-ass horseback rider. I'm sure there's tons of parents want their kids to be able to say they went to horse camp. We charge the horse kids and the city slickers the most, we get grants for the needy kids. We do the rich kids in the morning, the special kids in the afternoon, the adults over at Old Cooters. It means we need three rings."

Handsome, sexy, and smart.

"Hhhm," Clay said.

"Here," Kevin said, shuffling the papers and putting another one on top. "Look at the numbers."

"You want to charge that much! Holy shit!"

"I researched it on the internet. We can get it."

"I'll be darned."

I looked at it. I looked at Clay.

"It's a good plan."

"I like it," Clay said.

"Me too," I said.

"And we'd still have over a third of Cooter's land for farming," Kevin said.

I smiled.

Clay patted Kevin on the back. "Something to think about," he said. But I could tell he was sold.

"I figure you can get all this done in a year, year and a half tops, depending on how much help you get. If we market at the same time, spring after next you'll be open for business." 

"Huh."

"What makes you think I'd be good with kids?" I asked.

"Because, your heart's bigger than the moon," he said staring right at me. "And you're good at everything."

Chapter 11

We started to scour the internet for horses for sale. We tried to figure out how many we'd need, what breeds would be best, how to get 'em here.

The fall passed quickly in all the excitement. Still the best thing in my life was visiting Kevin every night. Most nights I just jerked him off, and it was only about once every ten or eleven days I gave him a blowjob, and that made them all the more special. He didn't touch me again, and I didn't ask, but I didn't care. I was so high from the pleasure of pleasuring him, it always made me come, and I always felt it was perfect. I knew we weren't in a real relationship, or in any kind of relationship actually, but as more days passed, and I was still spending those precious minutes in his room before going back to mine, it felt like a relationship to me.

We got the corrals finished. We picked Thanksgiving weekend to have a good old fashioned barn raising. Except we were having cabin raisings. We decided on eight cabins. Almost a hundred people turned up, from three counties. There was more food, music, and sweat than you can imagine. But at the end of the day, we had all the framework up and most of the heavy lifting done.

I found I had more of a head for business than I thought. Pouring over plans with Clay and Kevin was also more fun than I thought it would be. We divided the work evenly, making phone calls, doing computer work, thinking about advertising, incorporation, staffing—just getting stuff done.

Time flew by. Sherry started spending more and more time at our house, which let me tell you, was weird. After years of not having a woman around, it was downright strange. Nice, but strange. I could tell Clay was serious about her, really serious. As far as I knew she never spent the night, but every time she was over for dinner I half expected her to show up for breakfast in the morning.

Kevin went home for a week and a half for Christmas. I wanted to beg Clay to let me go with him, but it just wasn't reasonable. As Clay would say, the cows don't milk themselves.

Kevin came back from vacation juiced about seeing all his brothers and excited about all the new farming going on in upstate New York. He regaled us with funny stories of all his cousins, and aunts and uncles. Apparently he wasn't the only family cut up.

Things were moving faster than we thought, and by early spring we were ahead of schedule. We had to start interviewing staff, but we had no idea how many people to hire.

"There's a place in Spokane that does basically what we're trying to do," Clay said. "You should drive down there and check it out."

"That's like nine hours from here," I said.

"More like ten and a half. I mapquested it."

"Yikes."

"So take Kevin with you."

Just then Kevin walked in the room. "Take Kevin with you where?" he asked.

"To Spokane," Clay said.

"Awesome. Road trip."

I shook my head. "It's too far."

"Listen, I can make do without you two for three days. Leave early, drive straight through taking turns. You'll have dinner with them and burn their ears off with your questions, observe the place for a day, and drive back."

"I don't know."

"I already reserved y'all a room."

Panic must have shown on my face.

"What?" Clay said. "You're already sleeping together."

"We're not sleeping together," I said.

"Uugh," he snorted. "Fine. I'll make sure the room has two beds. Stop being a pussy. You're the one who wanted to do this horse thing. This is the nearest place that's doing it. You don't want to go, I'll go with Kevin."

"I'll go," I said.

"Thought so," Clayton said with a smile.

I became more and more excited for the road trip as the time came. I'd never even been out of the state. I was a little nervous about the overnight, but I was kind of excited about the time alone with Kevin during the drive.

Just like I thought, the drive was a blast. Most of the ride, the music was on and Kevin was telling jokes or recapping the books he read. His eyebrows about shot up through the roof when I told him I'd never been out of the state.

"I've been to thirty-two states," Kevin told me. "When I was little my parents piled my whole family into a big camper and we'd spend part of every summer exploring the U.S. That's part of how I knew it would be okay to come to Montana. Most New Yorkers don't know how gorgeous it is out here."

"God's country," I said.

He snorted. "Here and everywhere else in the galaxy," he said, but he smiled at me when he said it.

We stopped at a classic roadside diner, with turquoise and pink formica decor. There was a redheaded waitress in a tight pink uniform, and when she walked by Kevin had a hard time keeping his eyes off her. I could tell he was trying to pay attention to what I was saying, but the girl would sashay by, and I swear I could feel his temperature spike. I had a feeling it was a bad omen. 

"I think you should start adding nitrogen and phosphorous to the remaining land on Old Cooter's property you still want to farm," Kevin said, tuning in to me again.

I noticed he said 'you', and not 'we', and it freaked me out. Although it was probably just a figure of speech.

"I know the last thing you want is another cost outlay with all the money you've been spending. But I think if you add the nutrients, you can go back to turning that part of the plot back into flax faster, which will give you the most bang for your buck."

I nodded. "Makes sense."

The waitress came by again.

"Let's blow this joint," I said.

I threw down some money, we picked up our hats, and left. I was glad to be back on the road, but my good mood was a little deflated.

"You still good to drive?" I asked.

"Yup."

"Okay." I got in the passenger seat and kicked off my boots. I leaned my head against the window, and within a few minutes I was napping. I didn't wake up until Kevin slowed down as we were passing through big, beautiful iron gates. Kevin had driven the whole way.

I could see immediately that we were right to come here. The place looked like something out of a movie set. If I'd never been to a working ranch, but had to dream one up, this is what it would look like.

The owner's name was Judy, a middle-aged woman with short grey hair who reminded me of my fourth grade school teacher. She came out to our truck to greet us.

"Y'all must be the boys from Montana," she said.

"Yup," Kevin said.

"Well, welcome. I'll get you settled in and give you the tour."

She had a sweet set-up. Three horse rings like we planned. Everything was done in rustic log cabin style, but the amenities were first class. There was a large main hall. And the surprise, a big paintball area. When I saw it I realized how great an idea that was. It was just a few bales of hay, a few short fences, a small tree house with open windows, one or two short platforms. She saw me staring at it.

"The kids love it, and so do the adults."

Their cows had big name tags with names like Bessie and Mabel, and they had a black and white mutt that looked part jack russell terrier and part sheep dog named Spot. They had the 'play up the stereotype thing' down. She showed us the plans for the next day, and I was impressed.

"We're booked pretty much straight through for the next three years," Judy said.

"Phew-eee," Kevin said.

They rang a huge cowbell on a rope that they rang to tell everyone to come in for dinner.

"Jeez," Kevin said.

"I know."

"You should definitely do that. Too fuckin' precious. The city slickers will eat that up." As usual his warm laugh made me laugh too.

Dinner was actually franks and beans, but amazing franks and beans, gourmet style, like nothing I've ever tasted.

"You taking note of all this?" Kevin asked me.

"No, I'm ignoring it with my eyes closed," I said. Then I took another bite and closed my eyes and savored it. "Mmmn. Mmmmn. Just ignoring it all."

Kevin laughed. That warm, full sound that warmed my heart. I looked at him. I loved his laugh, and his beautiful eyes, and his sense of humor, and how smart he was. All of him. I was the luckiest guy in the world.

"You two make such a cute couple," Judy said.

"What!" I said, jerking sharply. "We're not a couple."

"Oh, sorry, I thought—"

"NO," I said. I suddenly worried that Kevin would freak. I looked at Judy and just told the truth. "We're not a couple."

"Sorry, sorry, I saw you looking at him, and I just thought..."

"Aaaawwww," Kevin said, making fun of something I had once said to Clay. "She just saw you and thought you were too pretty to breed."

"Jerk-face," I said.

Kevin threw an arm around my neck and pulled me closer to him. "Oh, but if I were into boys, you'd be my first choice, wouldn't you, cowboy?" He made kissy kissy noises and loud smacks about an inch from my cheek. I burned red from my hairline to my neck.

I couldn't decide whether to be flattered or not. "All right, all right, dork, let go."

"As a matter-of-fact, Judy," Kevin said. "If you have any girls here my age, I'd be willing to ruin them for others before I leave." He flashed her his killer smile.

I punched him in the arm. "Jerk."

"Okay, boys," she said. "I'll leave you to your dinner."

"It's wonderful by the way, ma'am," I said.

"If you'd like, I'll have the cook give you the recipe."

"I'd be mighty obliged," I said. I was still waiting for my blush to disappear.

When she walked away, Kevin started to laugh.

"You're such a jerk," I whispered.

"I can't help it if you look at me like I'm the cat's meow," he said.

"You're the cat's something," I mumbled.

Chapter 12

True to his word, Clay got us a cute little cabin with two beds. 

"I'm grungy from the drive. I'm gonna take a shower, man," Kevin said. He stripped off his clothes, dropped them on the floor in the corner, and went in the bathroom and closed the door. I stared at where he had gone, my dinner suddenly a heavy, big lumpy stone in my stomach. 

I stripped off my sweaty shirt and slowly walked to the closed bathroom door. I could hear the water running. Suddenly I could feel a sudden pressure behind my eyes, as if I wanted to cry. What was with that? 

I pictured Kevin under the spray, hot and wet, slick with soap. He would be rubbing his chest, his head back, relaxing, washing off all the grime of the day. I wanted to walk in there, open the glass door of the shower I imagined, step in behind him. I would pull his broad back to my chest, add more soap, slide my hand slowly from his hip up his side. Nestle my erection up against him. Wash his hair.

I leaned my forehead against the door.

Oh God. I wanted to be in a relationship. I wanted to be a couple.

My eyes were burning behind my closed lids. 

I was too shy to ask for that. But Kevin wasn't. If he wanted that, he'd ask for that. I was convenient for him. He liked me. He was nice to me. But he didn't feel about me like I felt about him. Or... did he? Did he feel that way about girls and boys? I shook my head against the door. I was deluding myself.

The door yanked open.

"Dude?"

I was so self-absorbed I hadn't heard the water turn off.

"What're you doing?"

"Ah, I have to pee. I was just trying to figure out if you were almost done."

Kevin stepped out of the way. "You should probably take a shower too. The water pressure's great. I'm sure you could use it after all that hard driving you did."

I couldn't help it; I smiled.

"Yeah," I said. "All right."

I scooted past him and shut the door.

Kevin was right, the water pressure was great. Which was good; the one weeping tear that escaped down my cheek blended in.

I stayed in there until my skin wrinkled up.

I had myself under control when the water started to run cold.

When I came out, Kevin was lying on his back in the far bed, his arm flung over his eyes, snoring softly. I watched the rise and fall of his bare chest, and my heart ached for him. I reminded myself to focus on gratitude. He was beautiful to watch. He'd been amazing to me and my brother. He knew everything there was to know about flax and cherries. I smiled. I was a dumbass. But I was looking at a really hot guy.

I got in the other bed and lay on my side staring at him. We finally get a romantic cabin alone, and he was asleep. But we still had tomorrow night. I watched him, looking younger and more peaceful than he did awake. I planned on staying up all night watching him sleep, but I must have drifted off at some point because I woke up to sunlight slanting through the window.

I looked at the clock. 7:00 AM. I don't think I slept that late since... ever. 

"Wake up, sleepy head." Kevin threw a pillow at me. "Let's see what this place has for breakfast."

Like everything else in this place, breakfast was great. Then a guide led us on a gentle horses on a gorgeous trail. We saw a demonstration of a guy doing lasso tricks. A cowboy doing barrel racing. How to milk a cow. Then in the afternoon we saw how Judy worked with the kids. She had a platform with stairs they walked up, so they didn't have to mount the horse from the ground. Smart.

Then it was nightfall. I was looking forward to getting back to the cabin. Last night was the first time I hadn't had my hands on Kevin in a long time. And I was looking forward to going to bed and not having to wait for 11:30. 

But when we got back and he got into bed he just said, "Good night," and turned over.

I didn't get it. I wondered for a second if I'd done something to upset him. I stared at the muscles of his back. Then I understood. In the isolated bubble of our house, everything was contained. It was true, but not too expansive. Here, in another environment, he wasn't into it. I bit back a sigh.

My skin was itchy, hungry, tingling with want. I was sure he could feel my heated gaze, staring laser holes into his back. Finally I got up and slipped under the blanket and just held him around the waist.

"Dude," he said.

"It's nice here," I said, thinking I sounded like an idiot.

"Your place will be the same, but with your's and Clay's flavor on it soon enough."

"All of our's flavor on it," I said.

He made a snorting sound. "Come on, man, I'm tired, and we have a long drive tomorrow."




Montana Ch. 03



I held him a few seconds longer, reveling in how much warmer his skin was than mine, and how good it felt to be curled up around him. I was about to get up and go back to my own bed when he pulled me back down for a second.

"Hey, No. Wait."

I laid back down. "You know I'd do more if I could right?"

I didn't have to ask him what he was talking about. I went to get up. He pulled me back down.

"I would, you know," he said softly. There was regret in his voice. And caring. And maybe love. His hand was tense on my waist.

"You can't bend someone in a way they're not already bent," I said.

I felt him relax. "It's not that I haven't thought about it. And God knows, it's not that you don't deserve it. I know I was joking around at the dinner table, but you're the best guy I ever met. If it were ever in my nature to be able to do more, to have a guy to do more with, I'd do it with you."

"I know," I said softly. And I did. I went to get up. He pulled me back down and spooned his large, warm body around me.

"Come on, Kev. Lemme go." I gave his hand a brief squeeze and went back to my bed.

"Good night, Kev," I said.

"Good night, No."

I tossed and turned for the first few hours, but when his snoring got heavier it comforted me, and I slept solidly.

Chapter 13

I didn't go to Kevin's room the next two nights after we got back. I couldn't explain why. I stroked my own cock at night, hard and fierce, pretending it was Kevin's hand and his mouth. Pretending he wanted to do it, begged me to do it. And for the first time since it started on my birthday, I was resentful that he never did it except for that one time, that he didn't reciprocate, that he didn't want to. It never bothered me before, but after the trip to Spokane there was a splinter in my heart. Even if whatever non-relationship we had was one-sided, it never felt one-sided before, it felt glorious and sunny. Now it felt like a cloudy fall day, or a horse with a thorn in its shoe. Still a beautiful, strong, amazing horse, but with a slight limp and leg that needed to be favored, one that needed to be shied away from, fixed or not looked at too closely.

Kevin acted the same. Making me laugh during the day, cutting vegetables twice as fast as me during the evening, quoting the movie lines if he had seen them before at night.

I couldn't resist going back to his room for my fix. I couldn't wait to feel him in my hand. And it was exactly the same as before. I tucked my head into his armpit, smelling Dial soap, and hay, and horses, and the powerful, great male scent that was all Kevin. The wonderful harness of his cock was so good, so powerful, and so... perfect. 

I wanted him inside me. I wanted him behind me. I wanted to stroke him, and stroke him, and stroke him, again and again, so that he would come six or seven times a night. I wanted to hold him through to the morning, and kiss him, and whisper sweet words. But I never did. We spent our few minutes together, and I got up and left.

*

After a while I put the Spokane trip out of my mind, and Kevin and I went back to the way were before.

In the spring, Clay told me he wanted to propose to Sherry and asked me how I felt about that. I told him I felt great, and that was the truth. I thought deep down I might feel a little jealous, that he had something I didn't have—might never have—but I didn't. She was a great girl, and I liked her.

On Memorial Day he proposed, and she said yes. She moved in right after. She took over a lot of the cooking, and some of the planning for the new business, and it was nice having someone else around. We ended up watching a lot more romantic comedies and a lot less horror movies, but other than that, the transition was pretty seamless.

The four of us were standing near the eastern border of our property, where the little creek was, when Kevin asked Sherry, "What kind of wedding do you want?"

"A really, really big one, with everyone we know or have ever met there."

"Figures. Of course," Clay mumbled.

"We could have it right here," Sherry said. "With me in a huge white dress, and tons of white streamers, and all kinds of decorations." She looked at me. "You'd help me figure out all the decorations right? You've probably got a great eye for that, being gay and all."

I jumped back. Holy shit! My face must have registered my immediate 'Hey! I'm not gay!' automatic knee jerk response.

"Sherry!" Clay said sharply.

"What?" she said.

Kevin held a hand out to me, palm up. It was a calm, friendly gesture, not a romantic one. It was a gesture offering courage, simply supporting me, encouraging me to be myself, tell the truth. I took his hand and squeezed it.

"Yeah, I'm gay," I said. I'd never said it out loud before.

"Not all gay guys are great at that stuff, Sherry," Clay said.

"No probably is," Kevin said. "He's got a good artist's eye."

"I'll help you," I said.

"Oh, thanks!" she said and came and hugged me. I felt smothered. "You're a great brother. You can help me go wedding dress shopping!"

"Ahhh, no. I draw the line at that." Then I smiled. "But Kevin can go with you. He's got a good artist's eye, and he knows what looks good on a woman. And hey, if you have problems getting into it by yourself, I can always zip you up."

She smiled at me. I could tell Kevin hated the idea of dress shopping because he gave me the evil eye over Sherry's head. I smiled at him. Gotcha. 

Kevin may have gotten roped into dress shopping, but I got roped into just about everything else. I thought I'd hate it, but Sherry's excitement made it hard to begrudge her anything. Clay was cheerier than I'd seen him since our parents died. We were a pretty damn happy household. Even the weather was agreeing with us.

I didn't think it would be possible that I could get any more into jerking Kevin off at night than I already was. But with a wedding looming, and romance in the air, and the idea that we really, really had to be quiet because who knew if Sherry was as sound a sleeper as Clay, being with Kevin was new and exciting. I pictured we were newlyweds, and it was our first time and his hand was over mine, stroking his hard cock up and down to a frenzied explosion. My smile was huge every night against his neck. 

Sunday night when I came into his room at 11:30, I knew immediately something was wrong because he was sitting on the side of his bed with his jeans on, instead of lying under the sheet like usual.

I sat next to him.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I got offered a job in New York."

"What?"

He rushed on, speaking fast. "It's on a big farm managing a hundred guys. The pay is great. The old manager retired suddenly. I—"

"Are you going to take it?"

There was silence for a second.

"Noah, I have to take it."

I tried hard to show no expression, but I'm not sure how successful I was at that. First I had a feeling like a train ran over me, followed by an odd sensation of weightlessness. 

"I mean, come on. I have to take it. I've been here three years. It's not like I'm going anywhere here. There's nowhere to move up. It's a family farm. It's not even going to be that much of a farm anymore. We've set up everything for the new business. You've got new staff to help with the horses. It's not like you need me."

I will not cry. I will not cry. I blinked.

"You had to know I wasn't going to stay here forever."

Actually, not really, no.

"This job will give me a chance to learn something new, really get somewhere; it will be a chance to set down some real roots. Have a family. I always wanted children. This job will let me afford to do that."

My entire torso was suddenly cold and made out of thin, thin glass. I heard a tinkling sound. I closed my eyes. I knew what that was. That was the sound of my heart breaking.

"Noah, say something," he whispered.

"You should take it," I said. "You should definitely take it."

He let out his breath in a whoosh. He clapped me on the shoulder. "Thanks, man. I was nervous about telling you. I didn't want you to be upset or anything."

I was suddenly angry, furious. He didn't want me to be upset? I tried to control my face and my breathing. This wasn't about me.

"This will be good for you," I said. He never promised me anything. He never said we were doing anything more than helping each other out. That never changed. He never led me on. Anything else was all me. My dreams. And he had dreams too. And if I loved him, really loved him, then I should be happy for him.

I wasn't.

"Listen, I gotta go," I said.

"Stay," he said.

I shook my head.

Be damned if I'm going to cry in front of him. I might be gay, but I'm still a man.

I went to leave, but I felt his strong arms wrapping themselves around me, grabbing me from behind just before I reached the door. He pulled me into his body.

"Noah," he said softly into my ear. I shook my head.

"What can I say to make this better?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said. "There's nothing you can say to make this better."

"I love you, man. You know that right?"

He said it in the same tone of voice my brother said it.

I elbowed him in the ribs. He just squeezed me tighter.

"Noah, come on, this is my fault. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man."

If he didn't stop touching me soon I wouldn't just be crushed, or crying, broken, or devastated. I'd be ruined.

"Kev," I said firmly. "Let me go."

He did.

I didn't run out, but I left very, very quickly.

I made it all the way to my room. I closed the door and buried my head in my pillow and let my whole body release the silent, wracking sobs that let out pain like I hadn't felt since my parents died. It wasn't just my heart that was breaking. Everything was breaking.

I never saw this coming.

Never in a million years. I cried until I was a desert, so dehydrated I thought I would turn to dust.

I wanted to stay in bed the next morning. Tell Clay I was sick. He could fucking work the farm without me. But it was pride that made me get up. The cows weren't going to milk themselves, you know.

My eyes were red and swollen, despite the fact I splashed them with enough cold water that they should have looked better. Clay took one look at me and grit his teeth until a throbbing spot popped out in jaw, but he didn't ask me what was wrong, so I gathered Kevin told him that he was leaving.

I skipped breakfast and grabbed my hat.

I couldn't believe it. I felt like I was attending my own funeral.

This is good for Kevin, I told myself. Be happy for him. Be happy. I will not cry; I have no tears left. But apparently I did. I shoveled hay, and I was blinded by the silent weeping that wouldn't stop.

Strong arms wrapped around me from behind.

"Dude," Kevin said.

"I'm happy for you," I said. My voice sounded true.

"Fuckin' liar."

I laughed.

"It's not a big deal. We'll write. You'll come visit."

I shook my head. In all my life I'd had three days off from the farm. The three days I was working, checking out another ranch to learn how to better work our new plan for the farm. I was never going to get to New York.

I turned around, but Kevin was gone.

*

Kevin gave Clay his two week notice, and those two weeks were hell. I existed in a zombie state, giving new meaning to the term 'walking dead'. I did my chores, and ghosted through the necessities, mechanically chewing whatever meal Clay, or Kevin, or Sherry put in front of me at meal times, even though it tasted like cardboard.

If I'd had a huge pole stuck through the center of my heart, re-impaling me with each step and then dragging me down into the ground, it couldn't hurt any worse. The fact I was able to drag myself around the farm and do my chores and not get hurt was a miracle, but not the kind of miracle I needed. Every cell was aching. 

For the first week and a half I didn't go back into Kevin's room at night. I couldn't. There was a huge pain in my chest. I would've thought that I was going to have a heart attack, except the pain was on the right, not the left, so I guess it was just a spiritual hole, some place that Kevin had burrowed in, unbeknownst to me, and now was ripped out. The ache was constant, and I couldn't imagine touching his dick while using the other hand to hope that empty space in my soul didn't fall out.

But then a few days before he was supposed to go, I couldn't stop myself. I only had a few more nights, and I didn't want to waste them. I knocked. I heard the same 'come in' that I had grown so used to.

Kevin lifted the edge of the sheet.

Oh, God.

I slid in.

"It's been so many nights I thought maybe you were going to wait until your next birthday before you came back to me," he said.

I chuckled. "You're such an asshole."

"Yeah, but I'm your asshole."

Not anymore.

I didn't jerk him off. I tucked my head into his neck, and put my hand on his hip, and lay there for the seven and half minutes I usually spent with him not saying anything. I just breathed him in. I remember what Clay always said. Focus on gratitude. The skin on the side of his hip was soft. The electricity of him was more alive than anything I'd ever known or could imagine. His smell, and the sound of his breath, and how much warmer he was than me was all familiar, as right as rain. I gave him a squeeze and got up and went back to my room.

I did the same thing the next two nights. In a way it was comforting. In a way it was more painful than anything I'd ever done.

And then it was the last night he'd be spending in our house. Sunday night. I hesitated outside his door. Like I had the very first time on my birthday. The inside of my eyelids felt like they had hundreds of specs of tiny gritty sand particles glued to them. I wanted to say to myself, 'what am I doing here?' and felt like my hand knocked on the door of its own accord. But my whole body wanted in the room. Somewhere in the back of my mind I heard my own voice say, 'the heart knows what the heart knows'.

I knocked.

"Come in."

I went in. Kevin lifted the sheet. I slipped in. I didn't even tuck my face into his neck. I just stared. Unseeing. Then Kevin grabbed me, pushed me onto my back, and rolled his heavy weight on top of me. He pinned my wrists so they were on each side of my head. My breath caught. 

He pushed his weight on top of me, making himself heavier. I stifled a groan. He had never been on top of me before. I realized with a sharp clarity that we had never had sex, never slept together, never even kissed. I had never been kissed by anyone.

I closed my eyes.

He put his cheek next to mine.

We stayed like that for a minute.

I didn't want to cry, or say anything, but I felt my heart lurch out of my chest like it was screaming for him, and then I was weeping.

Kevin kissed one of the tears off, licked another.

"I'm so, so, sorry, man. I never meant to hurt you. This is all my fault. I never should've let it go that far the first night you came to me. I didn't know. I didn't know what would happen. How'd you feel. How'd I feel."

"Let go of my hands," I finally said.

He did, and I wrapped my arms around him. Then I slid my hands up and down his back. After a few seconds he pushed off me. He turned me away from him and spooned up behind me, one hand lightly around my waist.

I took a few deep breaths and tried to pull myself together. The sun would still come up. The world would go on.

"It's not like I'm going to forget you, you know, dude," Kevin said behind me. "I've lived here for three years."

"You really are an ass," I said. "I didn't think you'd forget me," I said. I sniffled and tried to make light of it. "I'm one of a kind."

I wondered if I should tell Kevin how I felt. But then I thought about it. What was there to say? He knew how I felt.

"You wanna stay here tonight?" Kevin asked.

"No," I said. It sounded like a pouty, blatant lie.

He pet my hair.

"Sleep," he said. And I did.

*

I drove him to the airport in Billings the next morning. He had all his stuff in one large, green army duffle bag. I was about to get out of the truck to walk him in and wait with him, but he stopped me with a hand to the chest. 

"Naw," he said. "Just out here, it's better this way."

Oh, God.

"No long drawn out good-byes," he said.

He hugged me tight.

"Good-bye, No," he said.

"Good-bye, Kev."

And then he was gone.

Epilogue

It was as if every sky was gray, and I was more fragile and brittle than I thought possible. But I reminded myself that in many ways I was strong. In some ways, I was more okay after he left than in the two weeks preceding his departure. He didn't come back for Clay and Sherry's wedding. He was too busy getting settled in his new job. He didn't come back for the opening of our new horse farm, which I convinced Clay to call Kevin's Place.

"Bro," was all he said when I told him.

Whenever I thought of that day at the airport I had the same painful tightening in my chest that I did whenever I watched CSI Miami.

I only saw Kevin one time after that. It was fourteen years later, when Kevin and his family took a vacation and came to visit us.

They got out of their rental SUV. I stood on the porch, numb in the August sunshine as two beautiful redheaded girls, about ages 12 and 9 bounded out. A beautiful petite strawberry blonde knockout, with curves in all the right places, followed. And then Kevin got out of the driver's seat. He looked a little different. He had a shaved head, and a goatee, and a tiny bit of a stomach paunch. But his soulful, beautiful eyes were still the same.

Kevin sauntered toward me and opened his arms. I walked into them, and he gave me a huge hug. In that moment the world was totally whole. This is what had shaped me. This is what had given me the final push, letting me grow into all the good and strong things I'd become. It had been less than a year really, between starting to be a man, and really being a man. 

Kevin hadn't been my knight. But he had been the one to let me see who I really was, given me the safe place to explore, allowed me to grow into the man I was now—somebody I was pretty damn happy with. In reality, he hadn't been a white knight, I had been my own white knight. But he'd been something more than that. And he still was. My best friend.

"No, let me introduce you to my family. This is my wife, Mary, and my daughters Sydney and Brittney."

My nephew Josh came out, and the girls were immediately entranced.

I gave them all a big smile. "Well come on, you city slickers," I said. "Let me show you the farm."

# # # 

Over the years I had other lovers and other boyfriends but nobody ever touched my heart the way Kevin did. It wasn't just that he was funny, smart, hard working, and handsome. It wasn't just that, in addition to a teenager's first crush, I was madly in love with him, truly in love with him, although I was. 

It was a once in a lifetime something, that one special something that you feel for someone, that you feel when someone is IT for you. But you know, when you really love someone, you'd do anything for them. You want what's right for them more than you want what's right for you. Not every story in the world is a perfect fairy tale, the real world just isn't like that. 

No one will ever measure up to Kevin. Not for me. But that doesn't mean that it's not a happy ending. He's happy. And I'm happy.

I'll find a partner some day. Yeah, it won't be Kevin. And it probably won't even be somebody like Kevin. But there's somebody out there for me. I learned a lot in that almost year I was "with" Kevin, including that I'm strong enough to get through anything, and nice enough to be worth it, to get through. 

Someday I'll wake up to my own ripe cherry. But right now I've got Clay, and Sherry, and Josh. And God, and country, and Montana, and Kevin's place. And yeah, Kevin. The most precious, true, hot memories, and current friendship, the sweetest word in the English language, Kevin.




Montana Ch. 03



Like Clay always said, we have a lot to be grateful for.

THE END

Hey Y'all,

For all you Montana fans, can't get enough of Noah? Noah is only thirty-two at the end of the story, but thirty-three is going to be a very hot year for him! A guy that nice deserves some super hot, hot, hotness and maybe long term action after fourteen years, don't you think? 

 Dear Reader,

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MJ



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