5 comments/ 23378 views/ 13 favorites It's Who You Know Ch. 01 By: IvoryTusk For an author's note: This is an 8-part story and my first attempt at something like it. I suppose it's a romance/erotica/thriller mix. I welcome all feedback, positive or negative. I hope readers enjoy. --- Tyler I struggle to think of the exact point where it starts. And I don't know whether that means my memory is bad, or I'm a shit storyteller. I think I want to start with Zack, because I wouldn't be here now, and nothing would be as it is, without him. He has always been a solid rock in the middle of everything that swirls around him. When he does move, it's purposeful. He's never been pushed off his path. The one constant in my life. Well, most of my life. We met at college. I was 17, he was 19. I was pretty fresh out of secondary school, and I was still getting used to all my own responsibilities. There was no detention if I turned up late, it just meant I was making life harder for myself and falling behind on my work. I was one of these chaotic things swirling around him, while he was as strict and disciplined as anything I'd ever seen. Opposites attract? Fact is I'd always been a bit of a butterfly. I had a lot of trouble keeping friends. They'd come and go with all the small talk it took to make them. There was something about me that couldn't keep people around, I was starting to accept that. Either that, or I somehow pushed them away. This college was in another town. All the kids were new to me, some of them not to each other. They fell into two categories in my mind - too loud, or too boring. And then there was this older guy. An almost full beard on his jaw, stoic and controlled, sitting in the back corner and actually paying attention to his work. Yes. I needed that one. So we got talking. He was surprisingly friendly. I worked all my charm on trying to make him laugh, the only comfortable ice-breaker I knew, and it was twenty minutes before he finally did. It was beautiful. Watching those white teeth part the black facial hair. He told me he had been taking another course - engineering - for two years, but it hadn't really worked out for him. I was surprised he'd dropped it. He looked like someone who would be good with their hands. But, no. He had moved on to take this. Business studies. It was what he really wanted to do. He was not someone you could look at and instantly picture running a business. You see, when I want to try and describe Zack in one word, the only one that comes to mind is 'brute'. Brute might describe his squared jaw. It might describe the powerful weight in his shoulders, the muscles that bulged on his forearms when his hands gripped something. It did describe the overpowering rush of strength that took him any time he got into a fight. It didn't describe the raw intelligence in his brilliant green eyes. The way his movements could be so delicate and precise. How he could stand, taking something in, with such calm and intense feeling, that I was certain only a man with true confidence in himself could ever seem so bliss. To be fair on myself, I was younger, but I always felt like I was far behind him. He carried this weight as though he had been through it all, and knew who he was. He must've matured so fast. When did he reach that state of mind? At 16? I think I always tagged along behind him like a little lost puppy. --- Darren He clasped his hands together in this asymmetrical way when he talked. Elbows on the table, knuckles pressed against his lips. Was he nervous? He pulled away a little to say something else; flashed a quick grin, partially hidden by his hands, then leant back in his chair with open and relaxed posture. To say he had caught my eye is an understatement. For some it might be an excitement in their stomach, but for me it's smooth. There's a point where I realise I don't want to take my gaze away. It makes me feel calm inside, to simply take them in and enjoy their beauty. So this was Tyler. He had just introduced himself to me and Zack was already cracking a joke at his expense. His lips parted to show his teeth and his head rolled against the back of the chair in some sort of chuckling defeat. He was the definition of dark and handsome. Dark brown hair, deep brown eyes, olive skin. Such lively, smiling eyes. His long nose was just one more aesthetic line on his face, drawing my gaze down to his mouth. I might've been enjoying myself too much, letting my looks linger too long. I've been criticised for being too intense enough times before. The first sign of his discomfort surfaced when he tried to hold my gaze. He struck me as the type of man who held your stare until you blinked first. Always. But he faltered and looked down at the table. --- Tyler I had always thought I was tall. But I got to spend the years of my blooming manhood with Zack towering a couple of inches over me. We completed two years at college, then went on to university together. They were some good years of my life. I did all the things you'd expect someone of my age to do... Perhaps more. Being away from home and out on my own was good for me, as daunting as it might have been. Zack was always there when things got rough. Sometimes, Zack was the reason things got rough. There were two reasons. Of all the ways he could be so unwavering and certain of himself, it might have been his sexuality that got me the most. He was straight. He was so damn straight. He felt no need to test the waters. Why was he so content? How was it possible? He didn't even sleep around with girls. He was a virgin for so long, until he finally got with Amelia. It wasn't that he was shy or had trouble catching female attention - it was that he knew what he wanted, and it wasn't casual flings. Steady and purposeful. You see, there's his contented celibacy. Then there's my horrendous mess of a sex life in contrast. I've liked girls for as long as I can remember... And I've liked boys for as long as I can remember. There are varying types of virginity that I've lost. By the time I finished university, I think I'd done everything under the sun. There's probably videos of me up online. I got paid to film those. Christ. Amidst it all, the one I couldn't have was Zack. And for a while, I really wanted Zack. I don't like to admit it, but for a couple of years I was hopelessly in love with him. He brushed off all my failed advances, drunk or sober, and never held it against me. Once or twice he shouted, mostly when I walked in on him showering after he'd asked me to stop doing it five times. There was a part of me that just couldn't help winding him up, watching that cool exterior crumble into something more fiery beneath. I think I purely imagined the sexual tension between us. I wanted to know what it would take to get him to lose control, to have those rough hands hold me down and take out his frustrations. Wasn't he curious? Wouldn't he just let me pleasure him one time, so it wouldn't be his own hands? Just once? I tried. For fuck sake, I tried. My legs over his lap on the sofa. A hug that lasted a little too long. Making a point to stare at his chest and stomach when he went about shirtless. Trying to pull down the towel around his waist when he leant over the sink, fresh out of the shower. "God, Tyler," he laughed, knocking my hands away. "Come on," I replied, squeezing his hips. "We're all guys here." The worst time was when we were in his room, sitting on his bed, talking. Backs against the wall, shoulder to shoulder. I told him all about my latest fuck-up, too exhausted by how much it had been bothering me to be able to cry, even if that feeling was in my throat the entire time. I appreciated his support at those times more than ever, how he still managed to see beyond my stupid behaviours to the person beneath. I ended up lounging on the bed with my legs across his lap. I felt the heat and weight of his laptop on my knees while I dozed off. When he decided to sleep he didn't go to the sofa or take my free room, or even - God forbid - wake me up so I would move. No, he slept with me. That narrow single bed that could barely fit his broad frame, and we were both squished on it. I woke up with him spooning me. Hot air tickled the back of my neck in the slow rhythm of his breathing. It was a chilly January morning and he just felt so... warm. We were both still fully dressed and the duvet was beneath us. There was that drowsy cold in my bones. My jeans were already tight from morning wood. I shifted my head and felt his nose and lips on my neck. He didn't really kiss me, I was just pushing my skin against his mouth, but whatever happened, I let out an involuntary moan. His arm tightened around my chest. He moved. With one fidgeting motion he ground his crotch against my arse. He was hard. Jesus Christ, he was hard. I could feel it so clearly. My breath hitched and I pushed back against him, wanting to feel it again. His chest pressed against my spine, his knees tucked into the bend of my legs. He tried to roll onto his back but only got about halfway before the wall was there. I rolled with him. My hand went to his dick without thinking. The tracksuits weren't thick like my jeans to conceal it. My groping fingers could feel every inch of him through the soft fabric. I was waking him up. His eyes opened and stared at me as I leant over him, my lips hovering above his, palm stroking. There was finally that flicker in his eyelids, that someone else was touching him somewhere sensitive. But he didn't give in to it. He avoided my kiss to look down at himself, forehead bumping my nose. His fingers closed around my wrist. "I'm sorry, Ty. I'm just not interested." That croaky morning voice sounded so much the opposite of his words, but I let him go. How was he so calm with a raging boner? I almost couldn't breathe from the tight knot in my stomach. He staggered up and left, and I heard the bathroom door shut. I had to relieve myself right there on his bed, before he came back. Not like it took long for me to come. It was powerful, and left me gasping, but there wasn't a contentment afterwards. I knew I had to stop this. I'm ashamed when I think back to it. Why couldn't I leave him alone sooner? I'm still amazed that he put up with all my shit. Luckily he never got angry enough to do more than the occasional shove when I went too far. I didn't want to be on the receiving end of his violence. I had seen what happened when his fist connected with someone's face. Didn't I mention there was a second reason why Zack made things rough? It wasn't just my stupid hormones. We had some legitimate problems, too. See, the main driving force behind Zack's discipline to move forwards with his life was that he was escaping his childhood. He had grown up in a fucking shithole, and seen the worst that there was to see of society, tossed around between foster homes. I'm not entirely sure how he got out so unscathed. With every year, he was cutting ties to his past. It had to be a gradual thing, though. One bridge burnt at a time. Some of those bridges stayed standing longer than others. He had an easy way to make money, and he took it while we lived our skint student lives. Do you know what drug running is? It's where someone pays you a lot of money to transport their shit. He picked up stuff from the neighbouring city's airport and took it to dealers. These people had known Zack since he was a boy, and they trusted him. It's a really simple job. Especially when you're so well known within the ranks. But the amount of shit that job could get Zack into was unbelievable. One time when he came back looking the closest to beaten up I'd ever seen him, I insisted I was going with him next time. He rejected. Of course he did. I don't know how I ever changed his mind. Would I have taken me along on a job like that? The shit we got into. I think it was the consequences of mixing with some of those people, and the situations you could find yourself in. A lot of the time there was nothing wrong with the events of the job itself, it was that you were in the wrong place at the wrong time at 3am. Going back to our car to find two men breaking into it. Having to go through a damn crack house because the dealer was too sketchy to come outside for five fucking minutes. I have too many tales. Zack was intrigued by the workings of the drug trade, though. I could tell. It was a thing of art in some ways. All those methods we took to keep us 'safe' and undiscovered. Safe. What a joke. I learnt something about myself on those runs. The high energies I lived life on meant I could fight just fine when I really needed to. That, and Zack and I made a good team. Some of those situations were... exhilarating, in a way I hadn't known before. If it became fun at one point, reality came crashing back down. Zack dragged me to hospital with a knife wound that just wouldn't stop bleeding. I remember being carried before I passed out from bloodloss. At the worst of times I don't know how we got out alive. The taste of grit as my face hit the concrete and the pain of fists and kicks could unleash a primal survival instinct. The things the body could endure were remarkable. Zack burnt the bridge when we killed someone. Well, Zack killed someone. The man shot at me and missed. Zack wrestled the gun from him and shot back. He wasn't thinking. The body crumpled to the floor and we ran. We ran to the car. We got in. We sat in silence. Zack was trembling so much that we swapped seats and I had to drive. At that point I didn't even have my license. Guns aren't common in England. Maybe I should have explained this first. I want you to understand what Zack meant to me. The shit we went through. --- Darren It wasn't the very first time I had seen him. He briefly appeared when I called around to Amelia's and Zack's one evening. I was sitting in the lounge, talking with Lia, when Zack got up to answer the door. I could hear their voices from the hallway, Tyler's slightly higher one against Zack's gruff one. Then two sets of footsteps thundered up the stairs. The door had slowly swung open when they came back down, so I got a glimpse. He was carrying a box and I could see the strain of its weight on his arms. Whatever was inside clanked a bit when he adjusted it. I liked the sound of his voice, but back then, he looked a little different. He looked... rough. He was messily unshaven, an unzipped grey hoodie slung over his shoulders. A little like the type of person who would stop you on the street when they were drunk. Maybe when they were sober, too. Dare I say it, thuggish. He peered into the lounge, studying me for a moment. "That's your boss?" "Yeah," Zack said. Tyler let out this short laugh and headed for the door. "Don't mind me, then." "Do you want to stay a bit?" "No." It was a very sharp 'no', like he wanted to get out the door as fast as possible. Zack shut it behind him and came in looking less serene than before. "A friend?" I asked. "Yeah. That's Tyler." I had heard plenty of stories by then. And I would hear more. Tyler still had a bit of that 'bad boy' look about him. It wasn't something obvious. A few small things coming together into one vibe. His hair was shorter at the sides of his head, longer at the top in fauxhawk style. His beard was trimmed down into an attractive goatee, hugging his upper lip and chin. Sometimes when he smiled at Zack, his lips curled back into more of a snarl. The banter between them was quite something. I knew he had been through rough things if he had grown up beside Zack, but he looked like someone who was finally maturing beyond it. He hadn't shaved a gap in his left eyebrow, there was genuinely a scar there. He was dressed in a red and black checkered shirt, the top two buttons undone, showing the faint glisten of a thin silver chain against his skin. He was... interesting. There was potential in him. --- Tyler Life moved on. It always did. And Zack usually seemed fine with it when I wasn't. I was so happy when he finally got together with Amelia. I really was. My spark for him died down long before we finished our studies. I went as best man to his wedding, and it was one of the best days of my life. And it wasn't even about me. It had been one of those things brewing for a while. He met her through university - she was a couple years older than him, someone who was involved in organising internships. She was stinking rich. She was the princess and he was the pauper, and she fell in love with him. He deserved it. He deserved her. I was glad she wasn't a complete snob. She talked a lot, about deep things. She listened to our stories and was interested in hearing about all those parts of society that had always been beneath her nose. It was in those times you could see how big her heart was - she talked about what technology could do to improve lives. Technology, you see. She was into the same things as me. I had grown less and less interested in business studies the longer I took it. I'm not really sure when it started. Maybe it was the way I became everyone's go-to man to fix their laptops or desktops. I always had to have the latest smartphone. I'd spend hours online, reading articles on scientific things that were well beyond me, but I was interested all the same. I became almost entirely self-taught. She had brown hair and brown eyes like me. We talked all the time, because we were so similar. We also argued because we were too similar. I think I did all the arguing with Zack's wife so he didn't have to. Sometimes I felt like he'd just gone and married a female version of myself. And sometimes, she gave me a little tingle in my stomach. And lower. She was slim, wonderfully narrow waisted with these delicate hands and wrists. She had so much energy, one of those women always bouncing around on her feet when she was happy about something, clapping in glee. And it made her breasts bounce in well-fitting clothes. And it could be mesmerizing. No. Don't start on his wife when you just got over him. You fucking idiot. I really had to get myself sorted. I was so confused. I thought, during my teenage and student years, that I was going through a phase. I thought I was going to 'find myself' at some point, become so confident and self-assured like Zack was. At some point I had to end up gay or straight. I would stop hovering in the middle. Right? It was difficult. I never felt like I was taken seriously. Straight friends thought I was straight, because I fucked girls; I was just such a horny bastard that I didn't turn down gay guys when they made a move on me. Gay friends, they thought I was gay; I was just sleeping with girls to conform to society pressures. They thought I hadn't fully come out the closet yet. That I was afraid, or something. "Some people are genuinely bi," Amelia said to me. I was so exhaused of this being a thing by then. "Why don't people accept that, then?" "Because people want things to be black and white." "But it's not." "No. It's not." * Yes, life moved on. Amelia opened up new doors to Zack. He had experienced the very lowest of the lows of society, and now he was experiencing the dizzying heights. The corporate world. The companies that ran everything. Money in the right pockets that fuelled civilisation. Rich bastards everywhere. Amelia went hand in hand with one of these companies. She had one of those long job titles to let you know she was important, a role that was essentially right hand of the CEO. She was head of her whole own department. Zack got a job there. After a short while he was an assistant to the CEO. It didn't take him long to rise, and nepotism from Amelia was probably to thank for that. It's Who You Know Ch. 01 She offered to get me in on it, too. I declined. For the first time in my life, I wanted to try strike it out on my own, not following Zack's footsteps. I didn't do very well. For fuck sake. I was the definition of a walking train wreck. I had picked up all these contacts, all these friends, all this baggage, since I was 17. I was trying to do what Zack had done, and cut them from my life, but I didn't even know where to begin. Once upon a time I couldn't keep friends around. Now, I wanted them gone. I had my own startup for a while. Gathered up some contacts and made it happen. Computer repairs. Don't laugh. It was actually going well for a year and it went over my head when it fell apart. Probably because I was too drunk half the time to be a good manager. By the time I was 25 I decided I was too old for the party life. I needed to move on. Settle down. Whatever it is that people do. But my friends were always hitting up my phone. Out to the clubs. Sometimes down to the gay bars. Anywhere and everywhere. More liquor. Yes, more. Who's the driver tonight? Fuck knows. Oh. It was me. Oopsie daisy I'm fucking pissed. Can I crash on your couch? I like how there seem to be turning points where you know something's gone too far. Or is it just me? Am I so bad at life that only the hard slaps in the face get through to me? Daniel did it to me. He was one of my university flings, probably the longest relationship I'd had, beating the main girlfriend of that time. But he was more on-and-off than her. He came crawling back to me every time he wanted sex, and likewise, I went crawling back to him. Dysfunctional. He was blonde, a little shorter than me, a little smaller than me in about every way. If ever there was a gay 'still sleeping with women to conform to society pressures', then it was him. He hit me up to go out with an old circle of mates. He'd had another bad breakup, because he wouldn't admit to himself that he didn't prefer girls. I was foolish enough to believe him, that he just wanted to talk, catch up, maybe get some life advice. I drove down there because I wasn't intending on going over one or two drinks. This particular group of mates were all straight, save for me and Dan. And they usually weren't overly wild, either. Most of them had commited relationships by then. Daniel clung to me the whole night. Sure, he laughed around with the others, but it was obvious he wanted my attention. Kieran raised a brow at me. "We're not getting back together," I said, when I finally had a moment alone. "Could've fooled me." Most of it is a blurry mess, and I'm not sure how I got so drunk. I think the little bastard spiked me. I wouldn't put it beyond him. All I know is that at some point it was 2am and I wanted to leave. When I got up and tried to walk, I fell over. They howled with laughter, cried my name. "Tyler!" Yes, that was me. Tyler's drunk as fuck and doing stupid things again. Tyler's getting older and handling his liquor even worse than before. I wish it hadn't been so funny. I wish they had noticed that I hadn't actually drank enough to be in that state. I wish Kieran had done something when Daniel started taking me away. I remember trying to get to my car while Dan laughed, his arm tight around my waist. "There's no way you're driving. Where's your keys? Want me to drive you?" "No," I said. It was a new sports car. It was shiny. And he'd been drinking, too. "Come back to mine, then." His apartment wasn't a long walk from the bar. He managed to get my sorry state all the way there. Not more than moments through the door, he started kissing me. I didn't want it. I didn't want him. He pushed me down on the sofa and I couldn't do anything. I was in that horrible state, where I was aware of everything going on, but could barely control my own body. I was stronger than him. I knew I was. Why was I losing? He always liked to be the dominant one. I don't think I ever topped with him. There were the sounds of belts coming undone and he wasn't listening to me as I said no. I didn't want to be raped. So I pulled him against me. Get it over with. That faux strawberry smell. He always used scented lube, sometimes scented condoms. There was a long pause where he put one on. I should be thankful for that. He took me from behind, pushing my stomach against the cushions. The sharp pain where he went in too hard and too fast, like always. Balls deep on the first thrust. My growls didn't stop him. He just went harder. I should have known there was something wrong with him the first time we ever fucked, when he did the same. No normal person wants to see someone they care about in pain like that. I don't care how rough you like your sex. It's a wonder he didn't rip me apart. I had to put up with that sickly sweet, fake strawberry smell while he pounded my arse in his clumsy inebriated state. Strawberries are red. And red made me think of blood. It made everything worse. I was just so glad I couldn't see him. If he had pinned me on my back, face over mine while he fucked me, I wouldn't have been able to handle it. I got hard halfway through but I didn't come. Didn't care. Didn't want to. He finally finished. I used to enjoy the sounds of his orgasm, but right then I wanted to rip off his balls with my bare hands. Had I the motor skills. He pressed his sweaty chest against my back, and kissed the nape of my neck. "Come to bed." "No." Surprisingly, he didn't push it. Maybe it was the guttural hatred that came out in my voice. Maybe he didn't have the strength left to haul me around. He cleaned up a little then disappeared. I passed out soon after. I woke up before him. I didn't go into his bedroom to do anything about it. Would it really make me feel better to punch him until he had no nose left? I didn't even know how to express my anger. I had become a fucking statistic. The only silver lining was that I wasn't as sore as I expected. That sickening smell, he had lubed me up good. I gathered up my things and left to find my car, but not before I left him a text. "You're a fucking dickhead." He tried apologising with multiple replies later that day. I didn't respond to any. He would never earn my forgiveness. One bridge burnt. This was how Zack did it, right? --- Darren I remember Amelia's wedding, because I couldn't go. I was furious about it, but she assured me it was fine. Of course she'd be lost enough in the day to not notice the lack of my presence, but it meant something to me too, and it hurt to miss it. When I should have been attending a celebration of life with my best friend, I was instead forced into attending a dreary celebration of death. An unfortunately timed death of a family member. The second of my cousins to an early grave. I argued and argued with my uncle for the funeral to be postponed, but had no luck. It was my fault the funeral was happening anyways. It also seemed I was far behind everyone else in finally meeting Amelia's spouse. Maybe that was just to make up for seeing more than enough of him soon after. She brought Zack before me and told me that he was in on the business. I was not asked, no. I was told. Such is her way. Luckily, I trusted her with all my heart. A few conversations with the man later, I trusted her more. I might have had him making coffee for me the first couple of weeks. He didn't complain once. His loyalty and devotion shone through in a matter of days. I needed his straight forward thinking, his steady composure. He was someone in for the long haul, always. A colourful background brought in fresh ideas. Things I never would have thought of. Amelia had an eye for talent. She found a diamond in the rough with Zack. Now the pair of them brought Tyler before me. Was it physically possible to say no to their heartfelt vouches? My answer was yes in five minutes. I'm pretty sure Amelia would be hiring him with or without my consent anyways, as she wanted him in her department. Maybe she just wanted me to declare my approval in front of him, to soothe some confidence issues I think the man had. Should I be ashamed that I let the ordeal drag out for so long because I was enjoying the view? Yes. I should. There's a special place in hell for people like me, afterall. --- Tyler Things had to start picking up at some point. I walked out of the clinic for my average six-monthly check-up, holding that piece of paper like my last ray of sunshine. Negative. Negative. Negative. I hadn't fucked up beyond repair yet. How old was I now? 27. Jesus Christ. Life was a blur since I left uni. A blur of one thing after another, like every step I took was setting off another pressure plate. A blur of treading water. Water. I loved water. My shower became my only private thinking space. I could spend over an hour beneath that spray, letting it soothe my exhausted body. I loved the way wet skin looked. The way that natural oils meant an even sheen didn't last for long. How it collected into drops. Those drops, trickling down shoulders, arms, stomachs. I hadn't been swimming in a while, I didn't feel so streamlined anymore. I had bulked up a bit, hitting the gym instead. It seemed a conventionally masculine thing to do, and I needed something harsher to burn me out so I would sleep at night. Weights did the trick. I didn't have any images in my mind, I was purely turned on by the water and my own touch. No frenzied lust and another sweating body to worry about. Just myself, stroking me exactly how I liked. So relaxed yet so hard at the same time. The cascade of warm water beat down on my chest as my shoulders leant against the cold tiles. It was a long, shuddering orgasm that left me smiling. At least I could always love me when nobody else did. Back to the real world when the water turned off. Even my shower was under threat, because I couldn't keep up with rent. I'd never bought a house yet. I just hadn't managed to save up for the initial deposit. Probably because I spent so much on my car. And never had a steady income. That shower was another turning point. I walked out with my mind so calmed it focused on what I needed to do. To accept my faults before it went too far. I probably should've texted before I turned up, but I knew they'd be home. They had a 5 year old kid by now and I frequently babysat. I heard Amelia's voice through the door, calling for Zack to answer it. And Zack calling back, telling her to. A few seconds later it opened to Amelia in a bathrobe, hair up in a towel. Even now, after all we'd been through, after all the stupid arguments I kept starting up, she greeted me with a smile. I hugged her. She was taken back for a moment, but returned it with that cuddly embrace of hers. "Is everything okay, Ty?" She smelt like shampoo. "I need help." Her hands pushed me away to study my face. I didn't try to avoid her scrutinizing gaze. For once I didn't feel like a nervous wreck. I was confident, I knew what to do, I just wanted some help doing it. She took my wrist and led me to the lounge. "Zack?" He was sitting on the floor in shirt, trousers, and socks, controller in his hands. His intense concentration face lit up into a smile as he glanced away from the screen. The white teeth slowly parted the black beard in a grin. "Can't you pause?" Amelia asked. "I'm online." He had a headset over his ears, and my eyes moved to their giant TV on the wall. He was on an impressive kill streak. No wonder he didn't want to answer the door. I went over to crouch and speak profanities into the microphone while little raging voices came from the headphones. He laughed mightily. With his streak ended by a camper he swore, chuckled, and quit the match, then turned his full attention to me. "Why didn't you say you were coming?" "Sorry." "He wants to talk," Amelia said, sitting herself down on the sofa. He leant back against her legs and she tousled his hair. "What's up?" I stretched my legs out and crossed my arms. "I'm in a mess." "When aren't you?" "Financial mess. I got one month to catch up on my rent or I'm out." "Do you need some money?" Zack asked. "You can pay me back wh-" "No. I need a job." I glanced between him and Amelia. "I know you've got contacts. Can you get me in somewhere? Please." "I'm sure we can," Amelia said. There was that twinkle in her eyes, but I didn't linger on it. I wasn't sure how I felt about it yet. "I need something stable. Somebody somewhere must be able to make use of me." I must have sat there looking so dejected because Zack leant over to me. "C'mere." He seized me in one of his growling bear hugs. I hadn't received one in a while. Felt like years. "You know we're always here," he said. I squeezed him back. "Don't I tire you?" "You exhaust me. So what. You're family." He pulled back with a grin but I stayed flat against the chair. Asking for help was shockingly draining. "Can I stay here tonight? It clears my head." "Sure. Do you want to take David to school in the morning?" "Is that how I pay you back?" "Yes. Seven o'clock alarm or I unleash him into your room." * The little bastard came into the guest room anyways. I got a stomach full of knees and hands in my hair. At least he didn't land on my balls. The kid had endless energy. He bounced off the walls and ceiling while Zack and I tried to eat breakfast, skidding across the floor and getting his black school trousers all dusty. Uncle Tyler was taking him to school in the noisy car. He dashed out the front door ahead of me with my keys, then pressed the button and giggled in glee when it beeped and the lights flashed. He locked and unlocked it several more times before I was allowed to get inside. He clambered into the passenger seat, slammed the door, and did the seatbelt all by himself, grinning up at me with the thick strap across his neck. I couldn't help but grin back. He had his father's green eyes and black hair, but his face looked more Amelia's shape, even at that young age. I didn't have many things at that point, but I did have my Chevrolet Camaro. I revved the engine a few times to make David's grin even bigger, then roared out down the driveway. Good morning neighbours. There were lots of mums in their over-sized, over-expensive 4-by-4's blocking the school's road and making a hazardous mess. Not that I could comment on expensive cars. I wove in and out of the traffic, getting honked at and honking in return, which made David giggle even more and toss me a few shy glances. Uncle Tyler was being naughty again. I managed to pull up by the curb and he let himself out, grabbing his book bag and running off into the gates, little blazer of his uniform flapping as he went. I'd probably made him a hyper nightmare for the teachers all day. Oh well. I studied the gridlock of the road I now needed to escape and checked my phone. There was a lengthy text from Amelia, giving me an address and instructions. She worked that quick. "Make sure you're there 1pm sharp. You'll be pitching yourself to Darren." Jesus fucking Christ. I thought she'd at least try something else before she pulled that one. I should've known. She had already tried this once. So many things I wanted to patter down onto that screen to her, but the traffic was finally moving. "K." I got home and rushed through papers on my desk, trying to gather everything that could work as a CV. For nearly the past year I'd been struggling with the infuriating reply to my applications, that I was 'over-qualified'. It made me want to punch walls. Now I was facing something where I felt grossly under-qualified. I looked up the address on Google Maps, and it was a restaurant. Was I supposed to be meeting with Darren in a public space? Scanning tables of heads and trying to recognise him? I only had a faint picture of him in my mind from a few glimpses over the past few years. How was this an interview? I showered fast. Brushed my teeth twice as long. Shaved and trimmed and considered running some gel through my hair. No. It made me look like a damn teenager. Wash it out. I only owned one nice suit, and I just couldn't picture walking into a restaurant in it. I'd feel ridiculous. I opted for smart casual instead, finding the best-looking black jeans in my wardrobe, and a red and black checkered shirt. For maybe a minute I just stood there, studying myself in the mirror. I looped a leather belt through the jeans even if they were a snug fit on my hips. I did up the top button on the shirt. No. Too tight. Two buttons undone. Three? No, too much chest hair on show. Two. I rolled up the sleeves to my elbows then stood staring again. Did I look good? It was already nearly 12. What the fuck to wear on my feet? No, not the Doc Martens. Actually... maybe? I knew the street the restaurant was on, but I entered the address into my phone's sat nav just in case, then tossed it onto the passenger seat atop my portfolio and listened to that sexy voice telling me all the directions I already knew. It was supposed to make me feel a bit better. It was a nice area of town, with tall, looming buildings of old Victorian architecture. I cruised down the road until I recognised the exterior of the restaurant from the online photos. It had a carpark around back, with spaces. I stepped out into the fresh air, sunshine beating down on my head and shoulders, and briefly wondered which of those cars was Darren's. I felt so unprepared for this. Why, Amelia? You couldn't at least give me a full day? A waitress greeted me just inside the door, hair bleach blonde and eyeliner thick. I quickly glanced at my watch. 12:50. "Hello, sir. Do you have a reservation?" "Erm, no." A stained glass divider blocked my view into the rest of the interior. "I'm supposed to be meeting someone." She glanced at the portfolio tucked beneath my arm. "Darren? You're Tyler, yes?" My eyebrow twitched. "Yes." She smiled and beckoned to follow, leading me further inside. Damn, what a suave place. What a rich-people hangout. It probably looked fantastic at night with all the lights and stained glass. Zack and Amelia were there. I wasn't sure if that was better or worse. They were sitting at a table in the corner, beside a window. The waitress led me over. It was one of those tables where it was like a sofa against the wall, with two normal chairs the other side. Darren was tucked into the furthest possible corner on the sofa-side, and Amelia had to get up to let him out as I approached. I saw Darren briefly check his watch beneath the sleeve of his suit. His eyes flicked up and down me. He was going to judge every little thing. It was like you could watch the first impressions forming in his mind. Was I supposed to smile, or be straight-faced and serious? I only knew how to be charming when smiling. My serious face was a scowl. Fuck it. Switch on the charm. He held out his hand and I shook it. It surprised me for how friendly it felt. I thought he'd be the type to squeeze so hard it made your knuckles hurt. "Darren," he said, in one of those beautifully deep voices. A different deep to Zack's. Much smoother. "Tyler." I don't have a very deep voice. I mean, it's average. "It's nice to finally meet you." My smile cracked to show teeth but I was grimacing inside. What had Zack and Amelia told him about me? "You too." He gestured to the table. I moved around to the chair beside Zack and Amelia started to get to her feet again. "No," Darren started, waving a hand as if she were supposed to scoot over instead. "It's okay I can-" "Don't be silly," she started. "You've already made your butt-mark there." He chuckled as he clambered back across the sofa-seat to his corner. It was somewhat relaxing, at least. The mood of this was definitely informal. It's Who You Know Ch. 01 "Sir?" the waitress asked me. "Would you like a drink?" "Er, coke." "Pepsi?" "Yes, whichever." Why did they always do that? Was there really a difference? Darren sat across from me, sunlight from the window illuminating one half of his face. He took a good long look at me. I looked back. His hair was one of those copper brown shades that seemed to change colour where the light hit it. In this case, a little bit ginger. It was neat and short and incredibly straight. He had thick eyebrows, his facial hair a trimmed line along his jaw to his ears. But it was his eyes. Light grey-blue, sharp and penetrating. Like two circles of cobalt metal on his face. He blinked. I slid my portfolio across the table to him. He stopped it with a quick reflex of his fingers that only enhanced the feeling of predator and prey starting in my stomach. I needed to relax. My foot was subconsciously tapping the floor with nerves and I felt Zack's hand on my knee. He said a lot to me with a simple sideways glance. Darren looked up from some papers to ask a question. Zack answered, pretty much ripping the shit out of me. I burst into laughter and sat back in my chair. God. Yes, I needed to relax. The only thing I really knew about confidence came flooding back to me. Don't take yourself too seriously. This would be the hardest bit, I knew. The part where we talked all about me. I think Amelia and Zack knew more about me than I did. That was okay. They were pretty accurate. I only butted in to correct a university tale, something about 4am and laptops. The waitress brought drinks over, and I wanted to laugh at it. What a mismatched table. Amelia's steaming tea. Zack's water. My coke- I'm sorry, pepsi. And was that wine for Darren? Jesus Christ. Yes, it was wine. He plucked it from the tray and took a sip. Oh my God. I think he started to ask even more questions as it settled in his stomach. Maybe that was why he did it. He did seem a bit... tense. Maybe not exactly tense. Just distracted. But he didn't look at his watch once, his phone never went off. He leant back from the table and his legs stretched out. One of his feet knocked against mine and I retreated them beneath my chair. Okay, if he wanted that space, sure. Wasn't going to fight him for it. He was always looking at me, always watching me. I felt like I was supposed to keep more eye contact with him, but I couldn't hold that steely gaze. Tried, failed. The conversation finally moved on from me. We began to discuss the business. Now, Darren really came alive. Where he had seemed cold, still, choosing his words carefully, there was a transformation. He could be very expressive, and it was mostly with his hand and arm movements. He told you his mood with his fingers, whether they gripped something hard or soft. Whether the turns of his wrists were fast or slow. The flash of his teeth behind the picture he was painting to you with his words. He was a very physical storyteller, and if you were lucky, you'd get a couple sound effects. I liked watching him. Zack and Amelia were so comfortable around him, it was hard not to soak that up. The waitress brought over some plates with light lunch - some sort of herbal bread, salad bits. Not exactly my type of thing but whatever. We sat there eating and talking, and it was probably the best, and easiest, interview of my life. The strange thing is that at no point was I just told yes, I was hired. At no point was I told to go home and await a call or email. Amelia was clasping Zack's hands in hers across the table when she saw his watch. "Goodness, it's nearly time for me to get David." "Nah," Zack said. "I'll get him. You can take Tyler back and get him sorted." "All right," she said, sifting through a pocket of her jacket for her keys. Zack scraped his chair back and got to his feet with them jingling in his grasp. She looked across at me. "You can drive us there, right?" I frowned. "Er, yeah." What, they'd all turned up in Amelia's car? They were getting up, so I followed. First David, now this. I felt like a taxi. Darren collected my portfolio back together and handed it to me, then organised the empty plates and glasses nicely at the edge of the table for the waitress. Zack and Amelia did their lovey-dovey goodbye thing, and he and I exchanged some quick smirks. He'd also experienced the whole third wheel thing, huh? Then we left. Call me crazy, but I didn't notice anyone paying for anything. --- It's Who You Know Ch. 02 --- Darren I wanted to laugh when the car flashed at us in the carpark, but I didn't. He couldn't afford his rent, but he did have an expensive car? Of course. What did I say about that 'bad boy' vibe? It had a backseat, but no back doors. Amelia folded the passenger seat and clambered in, making the suspension bounce when she heartily sat down. She grinned at me, thoughts going on behind her eyes that I felt I was supposed to understand. I set the seat back and got in. The ceiling was low, like any typical sports car, but there was plenty of leg room. Tyler pulled his door shut, looking down at his phone. He continued to fiddle with it in his right hand, while his left hand, with the seatbelt, missed the receiver about four times until he scowled down at it and clicked it into place. "Do you know where it is?" Amelia asked. "Sort of," he replied. He had brought up a sat nav on his phone and handed it back to her. "Maybe you should put it in, just in case." I heard the faint vibrations of her thumbs on the screen. "What voice do you use?" she asked. "Sally," Tyler replied. "Sally The Slut? Good God." He grinned, a sudden crack in his still face. "She's sexy." "No, she sounds like a slut." She put on an overly sensual, moaning tone. "'Turn right in two hundred yards, mmm'." "Jesus Christ." "I'm sorry, I can't listen to that." "You women, so competitive." She continued fiddling with his phone. "Can't I put on one of the male voices?" "The only good male voice is the American one." "He sounds like he's talking through his nose." "No he doesn't." "Sally The Slut or American Nose-Man?" "How about," Tyler said, reaching back to snatch his phone off her, "we listen to your sexy voice giving the directions instead?" She leant against the back of his seat. "Sounds good." "But not in my ear." "Don't you like that?" she whispered. "I might, Zack doesn't." She chuckled her tinkling laugh and I couldn't help but grin as well. She tried to tickle his neck and he squirmed, slapping her hand away. "Sit back and put on your seatbelt." "Oh pfft, if you didn't drive like a maniac." With a subtle movement of his leg and a turn of the key, the car growled to life. He revved it a couple times, looking over his shoulder at her. "Seatbelt." Hers clicked into place and I quickly did mine as well. He revved it one more time just to annoy her, but the roaring power of the engine gave me a nervous knot in my stomach. Tyler must have picked up on it because his smile was gone and he gave me a glance. "Sorry," he said. "I am a good driver really." His hand held the wheel tight, but I knew whatever control you had over the steering meant nothing once the tyres lost their grip. We rumbled smoothly out of the carpark and I forced my breathing to slow. The sickness of a rising panic attack faded with it. Now would have been an embarrassing time for one to strike. There was a short silence, which was probably my fault. I thought Tyler would be the type of man to turn on the radio, but he didn't. I leant an elbow against the window, head against my fingers, and watched the streets going past... and still couldn't help tossing him some glances. I watched the muscles in his forearm when he changed gear, his hands on the wheel, the subtle movements of his legs. His handsome profile as he concentrated on everything outside. The silence broke when Amelia gave the first directions. It was as if they were straight back where the conversation had left off, and there had never been a pause. "That's your best sexy voice?" Tyler asked. "You don't get to hear my best." "I did last time I was babysitting downstairs." "Wow." He braked at some traffic lights. "If you're threatened by another woman's voice that's okay, just admit it." "Wow, Tyler." He still managed to make the car rev again when we started moving. "It's okay to be competitive, but you already scored a hot husband so I don't know-" "I'm being competitive? You're the one trying to show off his car." He yelped with laughter. "What? I'm not even." "Yes you are." She leant one arm on the back of his seat, one on mine. "Vroom vroom." He laughed again. It was such a good sound, rolling from his throat. "I'm not. I'm just a bad driver, you got me." His eyes moved to me for a quick glance. "I really doubt you care about my car. You've probably got a Lamborghini, haven't you?" I smirked. "No comment." What a guess. "See, I knew it. Rich cunt." "Ty!" Amelia squawked. He had known me little over an hour and already called me a 'cunt'. I liked this man. I grinned at Amelia, but she clasped a hand to her forehead regardless. "This is what I am," Tyler said. "If you want to hire me, better you know now." "I'm quite sure we can handle your language skills," I replied. "I'll find a gag for him," Amelia said. He chuckled. "Kinky." * We were out the edges of town and at my company's headquarters not more than thirty minutes later. It was a sprawling complex, and I enjoyed the look on Tyler's face as he took it in. "So how many weeks do I need to learn my way around?" Amelia directed him past three carparks. "Left, left! You missed it." "What the fuck is this labyrinth?" "Turn around, up here. Turn around." "Jesus." We parked next to Zack's car then made our way inside. It was time to do a little tour on the way up to my office. He trotted along behind us, listened to everything, and didn't have many questions. Sometimes he smiled, sometimes he frowned. I suppose there was a lot to take in. Amelia and I went over a few more things with him in my office, then I sent him off to see where he would be working with her. The door shut to leave me in near silence and I flipped through the pages of his portfolio again. He had been honest enough to give me a copy of his police record. In some ways it was identical to Zack's. Except it seemed, Tyler had been arrested more. Assault. Drug possession. Assault. Disorderly conduct. Aggravated assault. Speeding. The only conviction was the speeding. The man hadn't spent a day in jail. Of the two most important ones - drug trafficking, and manslaughter - there wasn't a sign. Just like Zack. Good. There was something else in the pile and I pulled it out. Something medical. Did he have some health issues I should know about? Apparently not. I was quite sure the dog-eared bit of paper had got caught up in there by mistake. HIV negative. Well, that was good to know. --- Tyler What I hadn't known about the company was how many ties it had to the military. That came as a shock. There were these confidential vibes going on. Amelia was only telling me half the story about everything, and scolded me if I pushed it. Okay, I needed to initiate. Fine. My first two weeks were very uneventful. Amelia was my boss more than Darren. It was what I had been afraid of ever since the first time she offered me something. We needed to work out some sort of professional relationship. In the end we settled into this teacher-student dynamic. I was under-qualified, I really was. My job seemed, essentially, a glorified internship. I knew nothing of what went on there. But Amelia wanted me, and she would teach me. She put all this work to study in front of me. It was daunting, but she had nothing but smiles. "It won't take you long to pick this up," she said. "Trust me. I know how smart you are." It might have been the most meaningful compliment I'd ever received. Regardless, it dawned on me just how much I needed to get my arse in gear. "How did you learn all this stuff?" I asked her. "I've been around it all my life. I only recently took over management from my father." I flipped through some papers. "I don't want an office job. I thought you wanted me for hands-on stuff." "Don't worry. We'll have you in the labs soon enough." Zack told me that they were giving me my first month's pay ahead of time, so I could sort out my rent and whatever else. I checked my account and almost threw up. What the fuck was that money? What the fuck was this salary? I'd be earning what, 60k a year? I called him up. There must have been a mistake. "Tyler," he started into my ranting, but I didn't stop. "I don't want your charity, Zack. I feel like a spoilt child. Let me fucking earn my pay. Don't do this to me." "Tyler," he said again. "That's your salary." I had to sit down, staring at my computer screen. My voice lowered. "Zack, I'm not even qualified for the job yet." "But you will be." "What the fuck?" "It's not what you know, Ty. It's who you know." He hung up on me as if he wanted those words to rattle around in my head. When I wasn't studying in my own brand new office, I was running around as Amelia's assistant. I got to travel all over the complex. Messages here, deliveries there. Knocking on a door. They're not here? Ah, shit. Do you know where they are? The what wing? I bumped into Zack in a corridor one time, looking dapper as normal in his suit. He had a massive grin on his face. He seized me in a growling hug and I burst into laughter. I wasn't expecting that. "Is everything good?" he asked. "Yeah, everything's great." "Give this to Lia for me," he said, and pecked my cheek. I just stood there for a moment. Okay. Sure. I gave Amelia a big sloppy kiss when I got back to her office. She cackled and shoved me away. "I have something to show you," she said. She took some keys from a drawer and I followed her. We went through corridors, down some stairs, then took an elevator. Even further down. I realised we were going underground and felt strangely claustraphobic about it. I was expecting there to be some high-tech security measures like in the movies. Fingerprint and eye scans, the like. It was sadly disappointing, but Amelia did use a swab and a couple keys to get us through some doors. "Welcome to the labs," she said. I stood in silence to take in what I was seeing. There was busy production work going on down there. A mess of electrical wiring all over tables. Drones. They were making drones. * I didn't see much of Darren for the first month or so working there. I was always busy, and so was he. I was there early, often stayed late. Collapsed into well-earnt sleep when I got home. His face was on my mind when I went to sleep. Why? I wasn't quite sure. Probably because I liked his face. His cold stare did something to my stomach and I wanted to feel it again. Life, if anything, had become very routine the past few weeks, and I wasn't used to behaving such a mature and organised adult without any breaks. I wanted some little twinge of excitement again. It was also the mystery. I didn't really know who he was, but he was such close friends with Amelia and Zack. I'd got a few things out of Amelia - she'd known him since childhood, and their families were friends. He was older, yes, but not that much older. First half of his 30's. 32, I thought? How was a man like him running a company like that? She said something about inheritance. It still made no sense to me. Surely he was young enough that the people he was inheriting it from must still be around? That day at the restaurant, in just a few hours, I'd felt like I was making a new friend. Someone Zack and Amelia were introducing me to. He'd been right there next to me, in the passenger seat of my car. And I had insulted him. Jesus Christ. It had faded from that. He was back to being some distant CEO of the company, and I only got glimpses of him here and there, heard his faint voice when he was on the phone to Amelia. Was I crushing on him? Way out of my league. When Amelia had an errand for me to run that involved him I might've been a bit too eager to do it. "He's in a meeting," she warned me. "Just knock, and if it's not a good time you can go back again later." I followed her instructions on how to get to the conference room, but still ended up having to ask someone for directions. I didn't attend that area of the complex very often, and everything looked the same. Peering in through the window of the door, sure enough, there was Darren. He was standing and talking to a handful of men and women seated along a table. I could hear the low tones of his voice even though the room was moderately sound-proofed. I waited for a pause, not wanting to interrupt. My opportunity came as he leant his fists on the table and stared down at some papers on it. I rapped my knuckles on the glass. His head shot around with those reflexes, then his face lit up. There was no mistaking that - he was happy to see me. Probably because I was about to give him a short respite from what looked a boring meeting. His hand beckoned me to open the door. "Tyler," he said as I peered inside. "What is it?" "Amelia sent me." He looked back at the table. "Please excuse me a minute." He was so swift out the door I nearly didn't have time to step back and let him through. "What is it?" he repeated. "She told me to give you this," I said, holding up a memory stick. "And to tell you that 'everything's on it'." His fingers almost snatched it from mine. "Everything?" "Everything. Also to check your emails." "Brilliant." He studied me. I purposely stared into his eyes. Yes, there it was, the tingle. How did he do that? "How are you getting on?" "Good," I replied. I think I only breathed when I looked away. "Lia's working me hard." He chuckled. I loved how the breath hitched in his throat. "I hear you're making a lot of progress." "I'd hope so." Darren glanced through the door's window then gripped my shoulder. "Thank you for bringing this, but I have to get back." "Yes, of course." With a smile and nod of his head he disappeared inside the room. I walked away grinning like an idiot. * The next week Amelia left me in her office to answer the phone while she was in a meeting. I sat on her chair, spinning in circles, drinking tea, and reading through a thick report someone from the labs had compiled for me. The first time the phone rang it was someone below, and I was actually able to answer their question because a piece of paper about it was sitting on the desk. Then an hour later it rang again. I was still perfecting my boring office phone voice. "Hello, Tyler Andrews speaking. Missus Keane is in a meeting, may I take a message?" "Tyler," his voice said. I leant an elbow on the desk. "Hey, Darren." "Who is Lia seeing?" "A certain Mister McMillan." "Oh, right." There was a pause. When he spoke again it sounded like he was trying to hold in a slight laugh. "You're good with computers?" His tone drew the chuckle out of me. "Yes." A simple desktop was nursery school compared to what I'd been doing recently. "Had a bit of an accident in my office." "Oh?" "Computer blew up." "What happened?" "Spilt coffee on it." We both snickered and I clasped a hand over half of my face. Even company CEO's did stupid everyday stuff. "Do you want to come take a look at it?" he asked. "If she's got you busy watching the phone then don't worry, send someone else." Well yes, I was supposed to be watching the phone. "No, don't worry." She'd be back soon. "I'll come." --- Darren I was standing in the corridor outside my office with Zack laughing at me when Tyler turned up. He was dressed in a white shirt and jeans, with what looked a small toolbox in his hand. "IT repairs," he declared, which sent Zack into another guffaw. "This man," he said, shoving my chest. "We're talking with a client in his office and what does he do?" He mockingly mimicked my swinging arm movement which had sent the mug flying. Tyler chuckled. I rubbed my brow. It had been an interesting day so far. "That certainly sealed the deal," Zack continued. "Thanks for your support," I said. "You know what it'll be now. 'Ah yes, Darren Sörensen, the man who spilt'," he nearly burst into laughter again, "'scolding hot coffee all over me!'" I buried my face in my hand. Yet couldn't help grinning. I'd made a spectacle of myself. The crackle and spark from the computer had made it even better. "I'm gonna go see to him," Zack said. "Tyler, fix his PC." I led Tyler inside my office. Zack and I had unplugged everything from the tower and laid it on its side with the case off, trying to see the worst of the damage. It looked a mess. "Jesus Christ," Tyler said, looking at the coffee-stained papers on my desk, the pile of paper towels we had used to try and mop it up. "What do you drink from? A super-sized mug?" He knelt beside the computer and opened the toolbox. "What happened exactly?" "It spilt all over the back of the desk, and sort of came down like a waterfall," I replied. "If he had just been sitting a little more to the left, more would've gone on his lap and less on the computer." Tyler flashed me one of his charming grins. "Well, I think your power supply's fucked." "Can you salvage any of the important parts?" "Probably." I picked my mug from the table. "I'm going to get another coffee, as I didn't get to drink this one." He was already dismantling things, and chuckled. "All right." "Do you want one?" "Sure." I paused at the door. "How do you like it?" "Half milk and a lot of sugar." "How much is 'a lot of sugar'?" "Three spoons." "Teaspoons?" "Wow. Just go get me a fucking coffee, Darren." He was so brash and I loved it. It was a refreshing change from humourless, dreary conversations full of big words and numbers. When I returned he was sitting cross-legged, internal computer parts laying on the floor all around him, like some dissected carcass. He wiped things down with a cloth. Could someone look so cheerful doing something so simple? His smile was infectious. I leant against the desk and watched him for a few minutes, making small talk about what Amelia had him doing. As if her ears were burning, the office phone rang and I picked it up to her voice. "You've stolen my assistant." "Yes, I'll give him back soon." "What happened to your PC?" "Hasn't Zack already told you?" She giggled. "Oh dear. I suppose I'll hear soon. Give Tyler back in one piece. Bye!" Tyler was carefully taking something apart with a small screwdriver, and he smirked. "She's very fond of you," I said. "She has me on a leash. She's wanted to boss me around for years." He reached for the cloth. "And I'm strangely okay with it." My private phone vibrated in my pocket and I tutted. I wasn't getting any peace today. My face fell as I saw the name calling. I considered leaving it to voicemail, but that would likely make things worse. My thumb slid across the screen and his voice barked before I'd even put it to my ear. He was angry about something, clearly, but I didn't know what it was. I couldn't get a word in sideways until his initial rant was over. My mind desperately tried to piece together every fragment of information, so I could sedate him somehow, before he got any louder. He got louder anyways, as if my very voice grated on his nerves. I glared at the wall while he kept repeating numbers at me. Tyler was silent and looking down. He must have heard everything. I began to pace the office as the phonecall became more and more heated. "I don't know," I growled into it. "That was Marcus. I had nothing to do with that transaction... Shifting the blame? What am I? Twelve?" I didn't want to be taking that call right then, but what could I do? I couldn't take it in the corridor, and I wasn't throwing Tyler out. "I'm not picking up the pieces for him. No. I'll lose out on a million then. I don't care." It's Who You Know Ch. 02 With the most throaty scoff he could manage, he hung up on me. I slid the phone into my pocket and leant my hands on the windowsill. There was a long silence, just little sounds of Tyler's fiddling. "What was that?" he finally asked. I hadn't heard his tone be careful yet. Finishing my scowl at the window, I turned back to the room. "My uncle." "Sounded like he was in a good mood." "If you think I'm a rich cunt, you'll love to meet that man." I saw some tight muscles in his jaw relax, and he managed a smile. "Who's Marcus?" "My cousin." "Big family business, is this?" "My uncle runs the sister company," I replied, resuming my place against the desk. "Long story short is we produce and he supplies. He likes to keep it in the family. Keeps it safer, he thinks. So long as the family stays loyal." "What are you? Some mafia?" "He seems to think so." I watched Tyler turning something between his hands. "He hates me." Tyler did one of those brief scoffing laughs, but I didn't smile back. "He hates my lifestyle choices. Amongst other things." There was a very long silence, and I cursed myself for saying anything at all. One bad phonecall was no reason to start getting all personal on the man while he was simply fixing my computer. He suddenly broke it with that careful tone again. "Amelia told me you inherited this company from your father." My arms crossed. "Sort of." I was aware of the thud of my heart as I considered what to tell him. "I built this on the money he left behind. He died, some years ago." Tyler looked up into my eyes. "I'm sorry." I gave my head a shake. "It's been long enough. None of this would have taken off without the help from my uncle, though. And Amelia's father. He was always good friends with my father." Those brown eyes could be so warm, creasing with genuine affection as he smiled at me again. I think my heart skipped a beat and I swallowed. This beautiful man was sitting on the floor of my office, taking an actual interest in everything I said. It wasn't a common occurance. He started to fix parts back into the computer case. "I can get a spare power supply and see if this boots up." "Thanks." "Are there any important files on there?" "Everything is usually backed up on the server." "Even your porn folder?" I chuckled. "You think I'd keep that on a work computer?" The mischievous curl of his lips was back. "I'm not judging you." He got to his feet and leant against the desk beside me, finishing off the cold remains of his coffee. That same silver chain was still nestled around his neck and chest. I wondered if he had any idea how attractive he looked in those sleeve-rolled, buttons-undone shirts. "I wanted to thank you," he started, eyes fixed on the floor. "For what?" "For hiring me." I stared at the side of his face. "Amelia was going to hire you no matter what I said. I simply gave my blessing." "Well, thank you." He looked up, but at the opposite wall, not me. "I didn't know I could start feeling so different after only a month. I needed this." "You're welcome." My eyes were wandering down his figure. Even the snug fit of his jeans was attractive. What was he doing to me? "I've... been through a rough patch recently." "Sounds like things have been rough for you since you were nineteen." The whites of his eyes showed vividly for a moment. His mouth was a straight line in his face. He tossed me a glance, I continued. "I know what you went through with Zack." His eyes narrowed with his stare at the wall. "How much?" "Probably everything." He turned the mug in his hands, and his voice dropped in volume. "He still has that gun. He kept it." "I know." He let out a long, slow, inhale and exhale. His head finally turned to me. "Why do you know so much about me, and I know nearly nothing about you?" His eyes were perfectly level with mine. That day had been full of ups and downs. I wasn't thinking straight. I know I wasn't because I slid a hand across his stomach, gripped his waist, and tugged him towards me. I kissed him. His lips were a soft contrast to his facial hair. My hand felt the heat of his body, firm flesh beneath the thin fabric of his shirt. He dropped the mug. I heard it hit the floor. He was fumbling, chaotic, and my grip tightened because I was sure he would pull away. He kissed me back. His hand gripped the nape of my neck. His body pressed into mine. My God. I wanted his shirt off, I wanted to know what was under there. My hand moved up his torso until I felt his skin, the chain. He breathed in a shuddering gasp when I touched his throat. That aftertaste of the coffee. I gave his tongue one long stroke with mine until sanity screamed in the back of my mind. Stop. I remembered where I was. I tried to pull away but his fist was clenched in the lapel of my suit. His eyes opened when our lips parted and I held his shoulder. He released me. My hand slid down his chest. His brow was high and eyes wide with shock. He was panting. Yet his open mouth was somehow smiling. I didn't know what to do. "Sorry," I said. Worry seeped into his expression. He took a step back. "Shit." I looked away and swallowed, an embarrassingly loud gulp in my throat. "I'll go, er, get that supply," Tyler stammered. "Okay." He stumbled over the things on the floor. "Shit," he said again at the door, before disappearing out. I sank down into my chair. Shit, indeed. --- Tyler What the fuck just happened? In almost no time at all I was outside Amelia's office and my heart was still pounding too hard in my chest. Maybe because I had almost been running. She frowned at me when I rushed in through the door and headed for the shelves at the far end. "What are you doing?" "Need a new power supply for Darren." "No, no. I'll send Jenny to finish whatever he needs. I need you here." I stopped. I didn't want someone else to go and fix his computer. As shocking as the whole thing might've been, I wanted to go straight back there for a second kiss. I just tried to push the whole thing away and turned to face her. My blood suddenly felt thick and sluggish. Amelia beckoned for me to sit, so I did. She poked numbers into her phone and told whoever Jenny was to go to Darren's office. Then she called Darren and told him to expect her. She started talking to me about something and I was hardly listening. "Are you all right?" she asked. I frowned at the desk with my vacant stare before looking up to her. "Darren's gay." "Um, yeah. You only just figured that out?" She looked at me with so much suspicion, but didn't push it. Just put some keys in my fingers and told me to go down to the labs. * I felt so drained when I got home that night. A nagging tension pulling at every muscle in my body. Why did I run from his office like that? To leave something up in the air like that, so unfinished, was maddening. I had lost my cool so bad. I tried to make a stir fry but could barely stomach it. I couldn't even concentrate on the TV. In the end I dragged myself into my room and laid on my bed in the growing darkness. Fucking hell. I couldn't even sleep as I stayed there motionless for however long. My thoughts went in circles and circles. Replaying what had happened. Trying to understand it. This man... My phone vibrated somewhere on the duvet beside me. My hand found it and lifted it to my face. There was a text from an unknown number. "Tyler, it's Darren. I'm sorry about today." My heart raced straight away. No, no. The amount of typos from my fumbling fingers... Took me so long to write out a simple message. "What are you sorry about?" I replied. I breathed, deeply. In, out. It seemed an eternity until there was another reply. "I want to get to know you better." Oh fuck. Was it possible for my chest to feel this tight? My thumbs hovered over the screen until I sucked up the courage to enter my message. "So do I." I dropped the phone and buried my face into a pillow. I was sick with nerves. I was a teenager all over again. I couldn't stand the wait for the reply. What the fuck. Overthinking every little thing. Why wasn't he replying? I stared at it until it vibrated. "You're a good kisser." Oh shit. What the fuck? What the fuck was going on? What was I supposed to tell Zack and Amelia? "So are you." How was this happening? There was another long silence without a response and I couldn't take it. The only way I knew to handle things was dive in deep. I started typing again. "Ffs I'm freaking out here. Can I see you? What's your address?" "No." "Can I call you?" "No." I stared at the screen, then another message came through. "I'm going to bed. I'll see you tomorrow." "Ok." I went through the options to add his number into my contacts, then just laid there. Staring at his name. This man, this rich cunt. The company CEO, with the cold eyes that gave me butterflies. He was interested in me. Holy shit. * I didn't sleep very well. The next day was the first time I turned up late. It didn't seem to matter because Amelia was running about all over the place and I didn't see her for the first hour or so. That morning was a drag. Talk about a distraction. I read a whole page of something and realised I'd taken nothing in. Pumping up with caffeine didn't seem to help, just made me even more aware of the sick nerves making my hands tremble. I was too tired to feel okay. I wasn't tired enough to be beyond caring. He said he would see me. When? Where? The door opening made me jump. Amelia poked her head inside. "Ty, I'm going out." "How long?" "A while. I might not be back before it's time to pick up David, so if it gets to five, make sure you lock everything up." She smiled and shut the door again with a little wave of her fingers. Perhaps five minutes later my phone vibrated against my leg. I couldn't get it out my pocket fast enough. I could see the little icon of a text as I unlocked it. It contained one word. "Lunch?" I glanced at the top right of the screen. Exactly 12. "Yes." Why was he always so slow to reply? Was he doing it on purpose? I was starting to type something else when his response came through. "Come to my office." I was out the door in a flash. Those nerves changed into excitement and anticipation. All my brain power went into ensuring I wasn't somehow making my inner thoughts obvious. It was steadily growing into summer and it was a warm day, but I was sweating more than normal. I rapped the door with my knuckles then hooked my thumbs into my pockets. And waited. When he opened it I just wanted to laugh, I was so giddy. It was the first time I had seen him without the jacket of his suit. He wore a black waistcoat over the white shirt, its sleeves pushed up from his wrists. The waistcoat hugged his body to perfection, giving him the appearance of a statuesque masculine shape. Broad-shouldered, narrow-waisted. Jesus Christ. That v-shape. He stepped aside to let me in. The door sounded shut and there was a slight snick of a key turning in a lock. Oh my God. I spun, he smiled. But that smile somehow looked more of a smirk to me, like I was prey and he'd got me where he wanted. The nerves were taking over and I backed into the wall. He followed. His hand touched my side again and those eyes came so close. His lips met mine and my breath hitched. It was slower, gentler, almost an apology for yesterday. It was... soothing. There was no tongue. I felt his hand on my chest, on top of my heart, as if he was feeling for when I was calm. He pulled away with an exhale of hot breath on my mouth. He smelt like spearmint. No. Where are you going? I gripped his waist and yanked him back to me. His chuckle vibrated through the kiss. He pressed me against the wall, his fingers closed around my wrists, and for a moment he pinned me with his body, a brief exertion of dominance that left me breathless. He stepped back. Was he taller than me? I thought we were the same height, but he made me feel so small with something so subtle. I needed to say something. He just stared at me with that smile. Those eyes. "If this is how you want to get to know me, I like it." Did I have to sound so croaky? At least the amusement flickered across his face. He moved over to his desk and beckoned for me to sit opposite. The windows were open, letting in a refreshing breeze. "Jenny fixed your PC?" I asked. "Yes," he replied, arms folded on the desk. "It turns on, at least." "Sorry I didn't come back, Amelia wouldn't let me." "You wanted to come back?" I frowned. "Of course." "I thought I'd scared you off." "No." He sat back in his chair, fiddling with a pen. His legs stretched out, like I remembered at the restaurant - I flinched when our feet touched, but I didn't pull away this time. Just enjoyed the sensation of his leg brushing, then pressing against mine, top of his shoe hooked around my calf. "What do you want to eat?" he asked. "What?" "I can order something from the canteen up here." "Perks of being the boss, huh?" He gave me a grin and made a short phonecall. I watched his every move, somehow feeling as though I had permission to do so, that I was allowed to simply sit and take him in. "So you're gay," I started as he placed the phone back into the receiver. "Yes." "I didn't know." "Zack and Lia never mentioned it?" "No." He leant his head against a hand and rubbed his temple, studying me the whole time. "Do you have a shit gaydar or something?" I scoffed. "You don't exactly make it obvious." "I don't?" "No." His eyebrows rose for a moment, then settled back to their normal state. "Are you actually gay?" The defensive feeling rushed up out of nowhere. I sat forward in my chair. "How much have they told you about me?" This was bothering me. Did he know every dirty secret about the past I was trying to move on from? Had I been a subject of gossip? His eyes sharpened at my bristling posture. "Not much." "Seriously." "Passing comments from Zack that you 'weren't exactly straight'." "I'm bi." His hand curled into a fist and he rested his cheek against it. "Do you have a... preference?" "No." He looked up at me from beneath those thick eyebrows, as if expecting more. I wasn't sure what to say. "I just... like people, Darren. Sometimes they're male and sometimes they're female." He finally smiled. I was so terrified of turning him off me. I needed to do something to gather my composure. Charm. Charm. "If I have any preference at the moment, it's you." Well that was smooth. Christ. His leg seemed to move reassuringly against mine. "I'm sorry they never told you much about me. I don't know why. In fact, I think I'm offended." "Maybe I just never asked the right questions." With a pang of guilt I realised that I had actively avoided the subject of 'their boss' for a long time. Then a strange feeling followed, that he might have been taking an interest in me long before I was willing to acknowledge his existence. Wow, did I feel like an asshole. "So you're out and open?" I asked. "Yeah. I mean I don't go about screaming it at the top of my lungs, but most people know." "Well that's cool." I meant it. The insecurities of closeted types didn't really do much for me. Darren stroked along the bearded line of his jaw to his chin. "But I'd rather keep this out of the work place." I understood, sort of. "I want to see you after work," he continued. "Tonight. Do you want to go out to eat?" "Like a date?" "Yes." "Where do you wanna go?" "How about where we met?" I grinned. I had wanted to see that restaurant at night. One of his hands found mine on the desk and stroked over my fingers. Damn, this was almost too good to be true. --- Darren Amelia called me towards the end of the day while my hands were full. I tried to balance the phone between my cheek and shoulder. "Yes?" I asked. "So I've just got away from Marcus," she said. "How did it go?" "It's not salvageable but I did what I could." "You're a star." I dropped the box onto the table while Harry tried to sloppily sign-language something to me. I just nodded. "Zack left to get David," I continued into the phone. "He told me, thanks. Do you need me to come back there and pick you up?" "No, it's fine. I'm going out." "Oh, nice! Have you seen Tyler at all? I left him alone to do my job all afternoon." "I saw him at lunch. Not heard any complaints." Harry held up a silent hand to me in goodbye and I returned it, then left for my office. "He came to the shocking conclusion that you were gay yesterday," Amelia said. "I told him," I replied. "We spoke a bit. You know, you can tell him some things about me, Lia. He wouldn't ask so many questions then." She chuckled. "What do you think of him?" "He's a hard worker." "Yes, he is. I think I might need to lay off him a bit. He looked exhausted this morning." I went through my pocket for my key. "And you never did warn me that he looks like a model." "Oh, of course. Sorry, I tend to forget about that. He's not really my type." The door thudded shut behind me and I glanced at my watch. 16:40. "Yes, we all know your type. Six-foot-four with a fur pelt of a chest." She giggled. I knew what expression she'd be pulling, the way she grinned and bit her bottom lip whenever someone reminded her what a hunk her husband was. "Anyways," she said. "Be careful you don't give Tyler any ideas. He does like men, you know." I shook my mouse to wake up the computer screen, grinning to myself. Yes, I knew. "I can handle myself. I need to sort a few things before I leave. Have a good weekend." "You too, Darren." I started typing out a lengthy email to my uncle, but couldn't finish it. I was too distracted, kept watching the time. 16:45. 16:50. 16:55. I saved the draft to finish at home and a text came through as though perfectly on cue. "So where you at?" "You parked normal spot?" I replied. "Yup." "Brt." --- Tyler He came walking along with that graceful saunter, suit jacket tucked over an arm, and I had to resist the urge to honk at him. What a sexy man. He clambered in beside me, leant across to give me a quick kiss, then started loosening the red tie about his neck. I had been watching the carpark empty while I waited. Lots of people were trying to get out ten or fifteen minutes early. It was Friday afterall. "So where's your Lamborghini?" I asked. "At home," he said, tossing the jacket and tie onto the backseat. "How did you get in this morning?" "Got a lift." "With who?" "Zack." I frowned. Fair enough. He was pulling his phone from his pocket with one hand, undoing the top button of his shirt with the other. I hoped he'd keep the waistcoat. I liked it. "You remember where it is?" he asked me while he flicked through his screen. "Yeah." I went to turn my key in the ignition but he was calling someone. "One minute." His fingers drummed the dashboard while he waited for them to pick up. "Hey, Diana. Is it busy tonight? ... Yes. Just for two... Yes... Why don't you ask Tracy if she remembers him?" He hung up and gave me a smile. "All good." I remembered his tension from before, when I pissed about revving and jerking the gears, so I focused on keeping the car smooth the whole drive there. There was some rush-hour traffic to sit through. He didn't talk much, mostly staring out the window with this look on his face I couldn't quite decipher. I didn't mind. Sometimes his presence felt so intense that the silence was fine, and kept my head straight. I hadn't been on a real date with a man. Not like this. Would it be a night of being stared at? A suave restaurant was a different environment to the pounding music and flashing lights of a dance floor, where sex drives ran high with liquor and drugs. Nobody really cared where you were sticking your dick, so long as they got some too. It's Who You Know Ch. 02 If I was honest, I hadn't really done dates full stop. An attractive middle-aged woman with black hair and delicate features greeted us at the door. She spoke to Darren with the familiarity of a long friend and leant in to kiss his cheek. Then she shook my hand and did the same to me. "We've got your window seat," she said to Darren. Someone waved to him as we were led through. The tables were only half filled, but I had a feeling it would get busier as the night went on. Every person there was a business man or woman. This was it, what the white collar corporate world looked like when out eating dinner. Darren didn't try to keep distance from me, to downplay what we were when in public. He touched my lower back as we approached our table and I took the chair so he could have the sofa-seat. The same waitress with blonde hair and thick eyeliner came over to see us. She took me in, and her eyebrow rose. "You know how to get a raise, don't you?" Darren scowled at her. "Tracy." She chuckled. "I'm sorry. Drink, sir?" "Pepsi." I remembered. She tossed Darren a look before he even opened his mouth. "I know what you're having." It was still daytime when we arrived, but twilight slowly closed in and I got to see the place transform. The golden glow from paper light shades. Splashes of colour from the stained glass. Soft background music drowned out by the murmurings and voices of the people inside. It was cosy, and probably best during winter when the warm atmosphere was most welcome. And the food was good. I completely cleared my plate and waited for dessert. Darren seemed to open up more with the wine, like at my 'interview'. I got him telling stories again just so I could watch those arm movements. We had a couple of interruptions. The first was his phone. He took one look at the screen, then turned it off and left it face-down on the table. The second was the sudden voice of another man coming over. "Darren," he said, scraping a chair up next to me. "You've pulled." He straddled the chair backwards with his arms folded over its rest. "Fuck off," Darren replied, which nearly sent me into one of my embarrassing squeaky fits of laughter. The man grinned broadly and I could see Darren's smiling eyes over the rim of his glass. A hand was held out to me. "Joseph," he introduced. "Tyler." He looked a typical middle-aged business man who was starting to get a bit of a gut. There was a rosy tint to his cheeks. If he'd had a few glasses of wine, he wasn't handling it as gracefully as Darren was. A female voice scolded him and called him back over. "I'm so sorry, Darren!" Joseph let out this wheezing laugh as he left to his table and Darren shook his head. Our legs were entwined out of sight. His cold eyes were doing more than just looking at me. They were saying things. Flickering, flirting glances. Two bits of ice in that warm room and it was starting to drive me crazy. When our desserts were finished, he beckoned for me to come around and sit beside him on the sofa-seat. I sat close, it seemed to be exactly what he wanted. He gave me a kiss that was slow and lingering, then shifted to lean against me with a slouch, head against my shoulder and chest. I wrapped an arm around his neck. He was checking his phone and it buzzed with messages the moment he turned it on. I could see the screen, but looked away out of respect of privacy. I rested my head against his, breathed through his hair. He smelt amazing. I wasn't sure what it was. A thick kind of scent I could almost taste in my mouth. My stomach might've been full but it was making me hungry. His body heat was all I could feel. I started to nuzzle through his hair, brushed my lips over his ear, whispered into it. "Should we go?" His hand stroked along my thigh, once, then he sat up. My jeans were starting to feel tight and I wanted to get out of there before it got any worse. I couldn't control these reactions. He still organised our dirty dishes on the table before we left. He waved to the black-haired woman at the bar as we walked out. Again, I didn't see either of us paying. The night air was feeling crisp with the sun gone. A cold breeze went up under my shirt. The shiver just intensified the knot in my stomach. We got into my car, and I leant across to kiss him. And didn't stop. Before I knew it I was clambering over the gearstick to straddle him in his seat. My head was hitting the ceiling, it might've been the most awkward thing I'd ever done, I didn't care. I plunged my tongue into his mouth, heard him let out this soft moan. His hands grabbed my arse, squeezing. He was getting hard. I could feel it pressed against mine. I ground against him, panting and gasping like a bitch in heat. My mind was fogging over. His tongue had the tang of alcohol. Fuck. Fuck... What was I doing? He held me tight and dragged his lips down my throat. I couldn't take it, I groaned so loud. He bit me, I cried out. Whatever shreds of control I had disappeared. I struggled to start unbuttoning his waistcoat. I could fuck him right there in the seat, I didn't care. The waistcoat came undone, there was still the damned shirt. My hands went to his belt. His fingers closed on my wrists, pulling them away with a strength I didn't expect. "Tyler," he breathed. His voice was husky, but firm. "What's the rush?" I was... floored. With so few words he had said so much, made me feel like a slut. I froze, panting, feeling his fingers loosen their grip as I relaxed my arms. My mind told me to get it together, but my body ached and burnt. We were in the dark, the only light coming from a street lamp somewhere in the carpark. I leant back on my elbows against the dashboard, watching the shine of his eyes move up me, from my crotch to my face. His hands started at my waist and slid up to my chest. He took his time, but it wasn't soothing me. It made me worse. He started to unbutton my shirt. Every brush of his knuckles sent an excited surge through me. He breathed out in admiration as the fabric came away - I heard it, this quiet, airy sigh. I wasn't prepared for the full feeling of his hands against my skin. I shuddered and gasped. He stroked the contours of my stomach, letting the line of hair lead him up to my chest. His fingers stroked along the shapes of my pecs, brushed over my nipples. I ground against him again with an arch of my spine. Every sense was in overdrive. The leather of the seat creaked when he sat forwards to kiss my body, climbing to my throat. One arm wrapped about my middle while the hand of the other teased a nipple. Everything was gentle - his lips, his tongue, his fingers. Then he pinched, and closed his teeth on my neck. I almost came. I bucked violently, everything trembled. I must've been so loud because he kissed me to shut me up. "Darren," I gasped. "Please." If he didn't do something to sate me I was going to jack off with him watching. "Get in the back," he said. I obeyed, and somehow managed to squeeze between the seats. He followed. He pushed me down so hard I think the suspension bounced. We were in some precarious position, one of his knees on the floor and one on the seat. This low sports car. There was no room for our tangled 6'2" heights. My belt came undone, then the fly of my jeans. His hand, oh God his hand. The brush of his fingers gave me shivers. He tucked my boxers behind my balls, then stroked every exposed inch of me. He kissed me and held me down. His tongue claimed every corner of my mouth, he peppered my lip with bites. I didn't know what else he was willing to do to me on that backseat because I came so fast. So hard. It ripped through my body while I moaned and gasped. He milked it out of me. The hot spurts hit my stomach and chest while I convulsed. I laid there, listening to his heavy breaths as he leant over me. When I opened my eyes there was just enough light to see the metallic colour of his. His gaze moved up and down me with that same admiration. "You're so hot," he husked. I saw his tongue touch at his lips and for a moment, thought he was going to lick every last drop of fluid off me. He shattered that fantasy with his question. "Do you have tissues?" "Probably," I croaked. "In the glove box." He let out one of those beautiful chuckles as he leant over the passenger seat to search. I felt so good, warm inside and out, but I didn't feel finished. He cleaned me with the soft material then I sat up, and touched at his groin. He was still hard as a rock. I squeezed. "No," he said. "Please." "No." I could use plenty of my own force. I lunged and shoved him back, bumping his head against the window. His eyes flashed but his breath hitched. "Let me," I growled. I knew what he was doing. He wasn't going to resist me. I would see him lose control. My hand continued to squeeze and rub while I held his gaze. "Oh, fuck," he breathed. "You know you want it." "Yes." I unbuckled him, gave everything a yank down. Then I lowered and circled my tongue around the head of his cock. He was wet. I savoured the taste of his pre-cum and listened to him groan. There was that musk, like I'd smelt in the restaurant. It drove me crazy. I closed my lips around him and took him into my mouth. His fingers curled in my hair but I wouldn't let him guide me. There was no going slow. He might not have had the greatest girth I'd ever known, but he was long. I massaged his shaft with my tongue then went in deep. He gasped, he moaned. I was determined to take him all in. He must have been as desperate for release as I was, because he came fast. Suddenly and unexpected. It hit the back of my throat and I almost gagged. Quick swallowing saved me. I sucked hard on his head while he shot the rest on my tongue. Shit, his moans were sexy. I continued to lick him clean while he softened and heard him thud back against the window again. "Fuck," he said. "You loved it." He grabbed my hair and pulled me up. He pressed his forehead against mine. "You fucking whore." I might've been offended were his eyes not smiling so much. I chuckled back. "This was never my intention," he continued. "Too much wine?" "Yeah. And you, coming onto me so fucking hard." I grinned and stroked my fingers through his pubic hair. "You turn me on." He kissed me, and used that kiss to push me back so he could pull his trousers up. "You do crazy things to me." "I want to do all sorts of things to you." "Fuck." His hand stroked up my chest and his fingers hooked beneath the chain around my neck, lifting it to study slightly in the light. "Take me home, Tyler." "Am I coming in too?" His chuckle was almost a full laugh. "No." "Fair enough." Jesus Christ, the carpark wasn't exactly empty. I'd parked in a corner, but someone must've seen or heard something. --- It's Who You Know Ch. 03 --- Darren Tyler got me good in the car. It had been a long time since I'd had anything. Too long. I had a little more willpower the next time we went out and kept him at bay. He whined like a little puppy, then he got a little rougher. There was a wolf in there. Three more nights in a row he tried to get his hand down my trousers and I denied him each time. I actually enjoyed it when he pushed it. Enough strength and the right words would hold him down. He always fought, but he would always submit. "I'm not fucking you yet," I told him. "Do I have to work for it?" "Yes." He grinned one of those charming grins that made my heart flip, and accepted it. He'd had me once, he'd be patient enough to have me again. I wanted to know for myself how much I liked this man, before I told the rest of the world. And it was why Zack and Amelia knew nothing for so long. Tyler seemed fine with keeping it quiet. There were certain reactions that would happen, that wouldn't if it were someone else. For a while I was happy to keep my private life, private. We hardly saw each other at work. We didn't see each other every night - sometimes we just called. Life still had to go on. Sometimes I was genuinely too busy. I got a treat when I rang him up one time, 11pm, with a sudden urge to hear his voice. "I'm in the middle of a wank," he said. "Nice. What are you watching?" "Nothing. I have a good imagination." I chuckled, heard him grunt. "Why don't you talk dirty, make this better for me?" I just chuckled again, no idea what to do when put on the spot like that. And he grunted again, in approval. "You know," he said, voice a little more breathless, "that's good enough." I got to hear his panting and moaning down the phone while he finished himself. God, he was hot. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't stroked one out nearly every night, too. I needed to keep myself under control, so I wouldn't cave in an instant to his groping fingers and mischievous looks. * He did start to get suspicious of me. The long story short is that he noticed I never drove. He got to see a glimpse of the damn Lamborghini when he dropped me off at the grounds of my house, and couldn't understand why I owned something so expensive and never used it. We were stuck in a ridiculous traffic jam for a Sunday. It was raining. His reckless road rage, swerving, cutting people off, was making me so anxious and sick that I snapped at him. He tossed me the closest thing to a glare that I'd yet seen. "Do you not have a license or something? Why the fuck do you never drive?" I shut my eyes and rubbed my brow. We sat there in silence, listening to the annoying whines of the wipers. "I was in a crash," I finally said. The silence stretched more. I stared out the windscreen and only saw his movements from the corner of my eye. When he did speak his voice was quiet. "You can't let something like that stop you doing it forever." "I know. I'm trying, I..." We braked. The traffic was a gridlock ahead of us. Tyler's hand reached across and touched my knee rather than swear about it. "It was a bad crash," I said. "I killed my cousin." His head snapped around, and he stared. "I attended his funeral the day I was supposed to be at Amelia's wedding." "... Jesus Christ. Darren, I'm so sorry." The tilt in his eyebrows, the sadness in those eyes. I instantly regretted that he would be sympathising with my pain. "It's okay." "I'm sorry I fucking said anything. I'll drive you anywhere you want to go." I managed the shortest excuse for a chuckle and shook my head. "I can drive, if I have to. I'd just rather not. It only takes something small to happen and I get a panic attack." His arm wrapped around my shoulders and he pulled me into a hug. The steady beat of his heart was soothing. He pecked my cheek before leaning back to reposition the car. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. "What about it?" "Well what happened?" I rested my head against the seat and thought quietly for a moment. "I didn't have any excuse. The road wasn't wet. There wasn't any other traffic. We were just racing around countryside roads like idiots, like normal. I don't know what happened. It was a completely straight, dry road, and the tyres just... lost their grip." "Did you bounce over a pothole?" "I don't know. It happened fast. The car was just skidding out of control and when I braked it spun. His side is what hit the tree. I got out so miraculously unscathed. I had whiplash and glass in my arm but he just... it destroyed him." I blinked as I pictured the horrifying sight. I was jaded to it. I had forced it through my mind over and over again, forcing myself to get over it. "He didn't have much of a skull left. He wasn't wearing a seatbelt, and I know it's not my fault that he wasn't, but it's my fault for driving that car when he wasn't. I think... I think he would've died even if he wore it, though. His side of the car it just, it was gone. It was completely crushed. He didn't stand a chance and-" I wanted to say how I couldn't get his body out. How I had called for an ambulance then just collapsed on my knees and wept. My breath was rattling in my lungs. I was sitting in the passenger side of a car right now, picturing that mess. My nightmares had always been where I was in his mind, going through his death. Seeing my own terrified face through his eyes. What was it like to hit that tree? Tyler's hand squeezed my knee. "Hey, easy. It's okay. I get it." "It was a fucking Lamborghini," I said. "I bought that new one to try and force myself through it but I can't sit inside the thing. I just can't." His arm went around me again and he kissed me. He held me. It was so affectionate, and when his eyes opened with that look, I should've known that there was more to him than sex. He nuzzled my nose and pecked my cheek, then sat back straight in his seat, eager to roll forward a whole six feet with the crawling traffic. Could he be adorable and hot at the same time? Because he was. --- Tyler My life completely revolved around work and Darren. There was nothing else. The first time I saw him on a weekend in casual clothes I think I sort of melted into the floor. He took the dating seriously. After that taster on the first night he almost became a damn celibate. For a couple of weeks I was happy to play along, then I received a hard slap that made me rethink everything about myself. What was wrong with me? When he told me about the crash all I could think about was that text he had sent me. 'I want to get to know you better'. This was a man who actually wanted to connect with me, not just feel my insides or have me stick it in him. I had been hounding him like a panting dog, barely behaving like a person beneath a shell of lust. I was ashamed. I felt immature. And then I realised that I was insecure. Why did I think I had to have my mouth around his cock for him to be interested in me? I started to understand what he was doing. He was courting me. I was infatuated with the man, and I wanted to explore that, too. Sex was something I'd had before, but I'd not had something like this, known someone like him, before. I wanted to fuck a person, not a body. But Jesus Christ, I couldn't wait for the day when I would get to see that body. * Zack and Amelia had to find out at some point. Our secret little affair was going on beneath their noses for so long, and sometimes I had no idea how they weren't getting suspicious. Maybe they did get suspicious, just didn't say anything. A clash came when I received a text from Amelia one Friday night, inviting me out the next day, when I had already organised something with Darren. So, I was going to have to choose. She'd really know something was going on with me if I turned her down. I rang up Darren. "Hey, babe." I knew he didn't like pet names. Which was why I had to call him by them. A different one every few days. "What?" "Amelia invited me out tomorrow." "Yeah, Zack just invited me too. I said no." I frowned at my bedroom wall. "When did this happen?" "What?" "When did we swap? When did Zack become your friend and Lia became mine?" He chuckled, right into my ear. God, I loved that sound. "I don't know, Ty. Blame the workplace." He cleared his throat. "Do you want to go?" "Sort of. There'll be some old uni mates there." "Why don't we both go, then?" "... Are you saying we should tell them?" "It's about time, isn't it?" How long had it been going on? Three weeks? I didn't really know anymore. "Okay, yeah." "Should I tell Zack I've changed my mind?" "No, no. Don't say anything. I've got an idea. Hold on. I'm calling Lia." I swiped his name off the screen and pulled up hers. I was almost certain it was going to go into voicemail before she finally picked up. "Tyler!" "'Sup." "Can you come tomorrow?" "Yes. Is it okay if I bring a date?" She giggled. "Of course. You know, I thought you might have been seeing someone recently." "Really?" "Yeah, you get this look on your face when you're thinking about someone. Zack knows it even better than I do." "I've been seeing them for a while." "Oh, wow. Who are they? Is it a boy or a girl?" "That's a surprise." "Always so exciting with you! Is it someone from work? We have a lot of beautiful people in the labs. I should know, I hand-picked them myself." "Stop asking questions," I chuckled. "You'll see tomorrow. I just have to check that they can come." "Okay. Bye!" I called Darren again. "Babe." "Are you really calling me this?" "You're an anonymous date tomorrow." He paused. "You're an arse. Can't just tell them?" "No, I want to see their faces." "Terrible." "I'll pick you up at three or four tomorrow. Dress sexy." "I always do." * He came walking down to where I waited with my car - he had one of those big metal gates where you had to enter numbers into the security strip to get into the grounds. I still had never been inside yet. I always stopped on the road outside. I honked at him. Beep. Beep-beep-beep. Beep. He smirked and shook his head as he walked around the bonnet to the passenger door. Then he clambered in and I greeted him. "Babe." I really loved winding him up. His grumpy face was sexy. "I'm gonna bite off your tongue," he replied. "I don't need my tongue to say it." I leant over to kiss him and he clasped a hand over my lips instead. I licked his palm, then sucked his fingers into my mouth. "You have a gift," he said. "Hmm?" "Of turning absolutely everything sexual." I grinned. "When you give in and have sex with me, I promise I'll give you the time of your life." He grabbed the nape of my neck and kissed me. There was a hunger in it that reminded me of our first night at the restaurant. My stomach lurched but I didn't gasp and lose control like I might have done a couple weeks ago. I just enjoyed it. Soon. It was one of those muggy days where there was no breeze to speak of. Normally I loved June weather, but this was so humid. We drove with the windows down and I watched the artificial wind ruffle the tufty forelocks of his hair. I was jealous of that perfectly straight hair. Whenever I let mine grow out it was wavy and almost impossible to do anything with. We turned up at the place around 16:30. It was a bar in a neighbouring town that Zack and I had used to frequent a few years back. The type of place that everyone remembered, and was perfect for meet-ups and catch-ups. Its selling point was this giant open veranda overlooking the carpark. And it was summer. It would be busy. I spotted Zack and Amelia sitting up there as we pulled in. It was impossible to miss Zack in a crowd, and Amelia was always moving. I steered and parked carefully so they wouldn't get an early glimpse of my 'date'. They were coming down to my car with a couple of others. "Are you nervous?" I asked Darren. "A bit." "I'm shitting myself." I got out and smiled at Amelia as she continued to walk across the carpark towards us. I went around the car and opened the passenger door, letting out... Darren. He straightened beside me. We stepped forward while she froze. She just stood there, eyes darting between us. Then she screamed, clasped her hands over her mouth, and spun around to bury her head into Zack's chest, a giggling and uncontrollable mess. "Oh my God!" Zack just grinned, holding the blubbering mess of his wife, looking at us with raised brows. She detached herself from him and came flying over, an arm around each of our necks, and squeezed us. "How long has this been happening?!" "He started hitting on me when I went to fix his PC that one time," I replied. Zack laughed so loud and Darren grinned down at the floor. The two uni friends stood there looking utterly confused. It was a good night. People talked about life developments, new jobs, new partners, and I could talk about both. Yes, I was a part of Amelia and Zack's company now. This was my salary. Amazing right? And this was my incredibly attractive boyfriend. Who's the company CEO, by the way. Yeah, I'm dating my boss. I know it's hot. Someone had a new American girlfriend. She always looked so bewildered and excited at the same time. "Ohh my Gahhd!" she drawled to me. "I just can't get over all these accents!" She was besotted with Darren. Not like I could blame her. I sounded like typical southern trash where I didn't pronounce half my t's. Zack still had that midlands tang, where he pronounced 'bath' and 'grass' wrong, no matter how long he had spent in the south. But Darren sounded like that generic British accent that was always in Hollywood movies, the one the rest of us usually criticised for not being real. Sophisticated and well-spoken, because he was a rich cunt. She sat with her cheeks clasped in her hands, watching him talk as if his voice was dripping honey. I tossed an apologetic look to her boyfriend, who only laughed and shook his head at me. Hey, it was cool. Darren was gay. He got tired after a while though, and I tried to get him out of the spotlight. He was such an introvert. We were cuddling in a corner somewhere when Zack found us. Zack never touched a drop of alcohol, but sometimes he could act so drunk. He was loud. He staggered around, high on life, that big beautiful grin on his face. He sat down and took a sip of his soft drink, gaze darting between us. "I'm happy for you," he said. "Why didn't you say something sooner?" "Was figuring it out," Darren replied. "You look cute together." Darren chuckled and I had a big grin of my own. Zack continued looking at us, took another sip of his drink, and, without changing even the slightest bit in tone or expression, asked, "Which one of you takes it up the arse?" I burst into laughter. Darren clasped a hand over his face. I was about to raise my hand, as I was pretty sure we had already established that I was the bottom, but Darren spoke before I could. "We don't know yet." Zack looked at me mockingly wide-eyed. "Damn, Tyler. That restraint." Yeah, thanks Zack. Amelia called him over. She was drinking way too much, her inner party girl coming out wild. She ground against him on the dance floor, he happily gripped her hips and ground back. "I can't wait 'til their kid grows up," I said. "Can you imagine if they're still doing this when he's fourteen? How mortified he'll be?" Darren snickered and reached across the table to steal the coke Zack had left behind. His words wouldn't leave my mind and I tried to keep talking, to keep myself busy. 'We don't know yet'. What did that mean? Was I reading too much into it? I was so certain that he was a top, and an aggressive one at that. Was he secretly a bottom? Could I get his body beneath me and fuck him deep? Or was he the type to straddle me, ride me, while holding me down? It was hard to conceal my raging boner for the rest of the night. Thank God for jeans and untucked shirts. --- Darren He got so damned drunk. It was accidental, and to be fair, I had no idea how he did it either. I didn't see him drink that much, but he did switch drinks, and he barely ate anything. It seemed to hit suddenly, out of nowhere. I watched him staggering slightly with his frown, trying to pretend he was sober. People were starting to leave and he knew he was supposed to be driving. We walked out to the car and... No, it was ridiculous. He couldn't do it. He was getting worse every minute that passed. Maybe I needed to ask Zack to take us back and we could worry about the car tomorrow. "Tyler," I said. "You can't drive." "Yeah, I can." He kicked the alloy as he fumbled around for the door. "Just hope they don't pull me over. Like, breath test. I'm fucked." "Tyler." I pulled him away from the door. His balance was nonexistent. He bounced off me and landed on his butt on the bonnet. "Give me your keys." Even in his state he was aware enough to know what that meant. "No, no. Darren, it's fine. I can drive." I had already made up my mind. "I want to." He stared at me. "You're sure?" "Yes." I felt at his pockets until I found the jingling bastards, then unlocked the car. He watched the lights flash. "Oh." That's why the door wouldn't open, genius. If I'm honest, I think I was a glass over the limit, too. But that was probably why I felt no nerves when I sat down in front of the wheel. The leg room was perfect. The mirrors were already level for my eyes. I stroked the leather of the wheel, then gripped it and turned the key. It growled to life. I tested the clutch, revved the engine. Still no nerves. Tyler's laughter rolled from his throat beside me. "Isn't it beautiful?" Yes, it was. I lifted the handbrake, shifted into reverse, felt the car smoothly roll from the parking space. Stop, shift into first, roll forwards, wheel sliding through my hands, headlights washing over everything with the turn. It was as if I'd never even stopped driving for a day. Tyler was watching my every move, which should have made me nervous, but it didn't. We left the carpark with the ticking of the indicator. I was out into the world, the raw power of this rumbling engine at my control. It was 2am, the streets felt empty except for taxis and pedestrians. This car demanded respect. It growled, and the staggering people of the town's night life ran off the roads. Everything passed me by and I was so calm it was almost unnerving. But I couldn't feel unnerved. I couldn't feel anything but the burning urge to put my foot down on that accelerator. "This is so hot," Tyler said. I grinned, but didn't take my eyes off the dark road. Traffic lights stopped us at the edge of town, even though there wasn't another car to be seen. But there were cameras. I finally looked over at Tyler for the first time since leaving the carpark. His bottom lip caught between his teeth. "Car anxiety?" he asked. "Bullshit." Something about his voice was deeper. I think it was the slur of alcohol. Or maybe it was my ears. I was feeling the first pang in my stomach, but I wasn't scared. It was... excitement. Just off the roundabout was the open stretch of motorway. Lights were green. Easing off the roundabout. Onto the motorway. Shifting to second. Accelerate. Shifting to third. Accelerate. Shifting to fourth... Feeling the car steadily picking up speed. The blinks of the lights as we raced beneath. This was a racetrack car. I could feel it in the tyres. There was a junction coming up and I was going to take it. Tyler's head turned as I started to steer across the lanes and slow. "Darren?" Off the motorway again. I knew where these roads came out, but I didn't have a map of them in my head. Which meant I couldn't get complacent. I knew they would be empty. I knew there'd be no cameras. It's Who You Know Ch. 03 "I want to show you something," I said. Even my own voice sounded like thunder in my chest. What was happening to me? The headlights showed me the way. It was time to see how fast this car could go. Tyler gripped at the door and dashboard, as though his inebriated state was being ripped out of him, picking up on what I was doing. "Darren." Third. Accelerate. Fourth. Accelerate. "Darren!" Fifth. Accelerate. I knew what was he was thinking. That I was going to total his car and kill us both. Maybe I was. The engine roared. The first bend was coming up. My hand readied on the brake, then slammed it down. I drifted it. The wheel tugged against my hand. Tyler screamed. The car screeched. Twisting, turning. Hold the angle. He gasped. Accelerating. He laughed. The second bend was coming up. He shrieked again. A carefree eruption from his throat, gasping for breath. Laughing out of terror. "Darren?!" The last bend was coming up. I put my foot down, and for a moment, felt like I was floating out of my own body. Did that mean I had already hit something and was dying? The car obeyed me and made that turn even more beautiful than before. Growling, grinding of the engine. I tried to breathe. I shifted it into third while my hand trembled on the wheel. Not yet. I needed to make it home. I could hear Tyler's panting. His hands clasped his head. He sat forward against the dashboard, then threw himself back against the seat. He was grinning, his eyes closed. My throat and lungs hurt, but I pushed it down. I could do this. Tonight, I was invincible. Ten more minutes to get home. The car cruised along as though nothing had happened, and I operated it with nothing but my subconscious. My muscles were tight. It jerked when I changed gears. I had lost that smoothness. Five more minutes. Familiar roads. Tyler's hand squeezed my leg. The car nearly stalled when I slowed around a corner and shifted it down to first. The engine sputtered. It snarled when I pressed the pedal. I needed to pull close enough to the number pad. The window wound down with that electric whine and I reached across with a fumbling hand to enter the code. The metal gates opened. Just needed to start again without stalling. My feet could barely balance the clutch and throttle. That fucking Lamborghini stared at me in the headlights. Was I breathing? Should I have to be concentrating so hard on telling my body to do something it should do by itself? Struggling with the gearstick, I just about managed to reverse and park. I don't remember getting out of the car. I was suddenly on the floor, gasping like I was drowning. It hurt. I felt like I was going to vomit. Tyler was there. His hands, his arms. He turned me onto my back, holding my waist and my shoulder, and waited. Waited for it to pass. I was trembling, covered in a cold sweat, but my lungs stopped burning. My breathing slowed. Things stopped spinning. I was alive. He kissed me, and I could taste how drunk he still was. I sat up, stiffly, then clambered to my feet. He followed. What a night. My knees almost buckled, he staggered. A glaring light came on, sensing our movements as we headed for the front door. He fell against it, giving me this wide-eyed look, mouth open with pants, but smiling. It reminded me of my office, when I'd first kissed him. He looked at me in awe, like I was some god. I managed to get the door open and we nearly tumbled inside. I led him through the foyer, into the lounge. He saw the biggest leather sofa and went straight for it, collapsing on his back with a throaty grunt. I knelt on the floor beside him with my head against his chest. "Do you want to come up?" I asked. My voice was so weak. He grunted again. "I can't do stairs." I tried to chuckle but it came out more of a cough. His ribs bounced with breathless laughter in return. "This is good," he said, stroking a hand across the leather while the rest of him was motionless. "I can stay." My body felt like lead, but I managed to drag myself up to my room. --- Tyler I drifted in and out of consciousness. Sometimes I awoke to unfamiliar smells and rolled over into cushions, drifting off again before I had time to think. I was comfy, wherever I was. Until it felt like light was piercing my eyelids. A tongue was licking me awake. And a wet nose pushing into my cheek. It wasn't a human, it was a dog. Jesus Christ. "Manda!" a sharp voice barked. Darren's voice. I heard the animal scrambling away across the floor and wiped my face with a scowl. I looked around at a room I didn't recognise. I felt so dazed, and confused. Tried to remember how I'd got there. What happened last night? That drive. What the fuck was that drive? "Sorry," Darren's voice continued. "She smelt you. I let her out and she came charging in before I could stop her." I sat up, blinking tiredly, an ache in my right shoulder. He was standing before me, bare foot, clad in tracksuits and a simple t-shirt. A german shepherd stood by his legs, staring at me with its mouth open and tongue lolling out. He offered me a mug of coffee and I took it. I was still dressed in everything I had been wearing last night, shoes included. The sofa creaked as he perched on it beside me, ruffling the fur of the dog's cheek. "What's her name again?" I asked, and took my first sip of the warm liquid. It was half milk with at least three sugars. "Amanda. Manda." I watched dully as she came forwards to sniff me, leaving a damp patch on my jeans where she pressed her nose, and even stuck her muzzle right into my crotch for a moment. She lifted her head to sniff at the mug and I stroked her chin. "Do you like dogs?" Darren asked. "Well, I don't hate them." "I need to feed her." He got to his feet and she automatically followed him out. The coffee slowly drained down my throat as I sat there alone for a minute or so. The room was open and spacious. White walls, light wood floor. A large mounted TV. Two more black leather sofas and several armchairs. A glass coffee table. Black shelves with... stuff. I was in his house. I got to my feet and started to wander curiously, not sure where he had disappeared to in this enormous place. The lounge led around through an arch into a kitchen. More white. Silver metal. Black cupboards. He was leaning against an island counter with his back to me. I went over and wrapped my arms around his middle, kissed his neck, his ear, breathed in the scent of his hair. I had this feeling that I was worried about him, some leftover emotion from last night. His breath hitched and I remembered. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Yes." My lips ran over his ear again. "You raped my car last night." He turned in the circle of my arms. "I'm sorry." His eyes stared at me with that cold look. "It was the most stupid thing I've ever done. I'm sorry." He tugged away. "Do you see why I crashed? Do you see why people like me shouldn't drive?" I trailed him as he moved around the counter. "If you want to get back into driving that's not exactly easing into it." "I know." I stepped in front of him and cornered him. He stared at my chest. "How did you learn to drive like that?" "Wannabe racecar driver when I was younger." "It was pretty amazing." His gaze moved up to my face. "I think I'm done for a while. I'm not driving again for months." I tried to kiss him but he avoided it and bumped his forehead against mine. "Darren?" "I could've killed you." "Am I dead?" I stole the kiss whether he wanted it or not. I'm sure he did because he leant into it. We stood there in each other's arms for a moment and I could smell my own armpit. God, I stank. "Can I take a shower?" "No." I scowled at him. His lips twitched with a smirk. "Of course you can." * His whole bathroom was like one walk-in shower, the same tiled pattern on the walls and floor, with the right sloping and grooves to keep the water from flooding into the wrong areas. A glass divider to stop splashes. So modern. I stripped down and had to figure out how to turn his shower on. It had almost been a sport to me when I was younger - not just spending the night in different people's beds, but using their showers in the morning. I successfully started it and left the temperature alone, wanting to see what his default setting was. It was only cold for a few seconds before stabilising. Not too bad. Maybe a little lukewarm, but it was summer afterall. That water hitting my body felt so good. It made me more awake than coffee could. I stood with my head tilted back, letting it cascade down my face and chest. The strength of the spray could be controlled. I set it to the strongest and turned around so it beat against my shoulders and spine, a special sort of massage that was a world of its own. Fuck yes, Darren had an awesome shower. There were different bottles of gels and shampoos. I picked one and lathered it all over me, rubbed it in my hair. I had long washed it all away but stayed beneath that water, soaking it in, enjoying it, while running shattered events of the night before through my mind, piecing it together. "Are you done yet?" His voice made me jump. I hadn't heard the door open. "What?" "I wanted a shower before dinner time." He was standing in the room, one hand gripping the still-open door, that smirking smile on his face that made my stomach tight. I stood, completely naked, water running in rivulets off me, and we stared. His gaze wandered down me once before going back to my face. "Why don't you just join me?" I didn't say it expecting him to actually do it. I was just being my usual self and blurting things out. His smile broadened, one of his eyebrows rose. The door slammed shut with a flick of his wrist. My heart thudded faster until it raced. I watched the t-shirt lifting over his head. Oh fuck. His thumbs hooked into the waistband of the tracksuits and pushed them down his legs. He was already semi-hard. Oh my God. His body. No, don't walk towards me. Stay there. I just wanted to stare a moment. But... oh God. He pushed me against the tiles and the water hit his skin. His mouth was so close to mine, hot breath against my lips, but it didn't touch. Water dripped off his nose onto my cheek, then he pulled back. His hands lifted from my sides to brush the wet hair from his forehead. His rearing, naked body was right in front of me and I reached out to touch. His eyes looked at my hand on his stomach, then flicked up, smiling at me from beneath those thick brows. He didn't stop me. I explored with my fingers and palm. His stomach was firm, and while there weren't any glaring contours of abs, I could feel the muscles beneath the surface, flinching slightly when my touch feathered. He had this thin layer of healthy fat over his entire frame, making him look so... powerful. Mature? Whatever it was, it excited me. His hands dropped while mine went higher. His chest was much more defined than his stomach. Thick pecs with dark pink nipples and a dusting of hair. His shoulders and arms, Christ. It almost looked as though any bulk was natural to his frame and he'd never had to work for it. The broadness of his shoulders made his waist look so thin. He was looking at my face, watching my dancing eyes and any reactions I had. I don't know what I was doing other than grinning like an idiot. I was giddy, horny, and felt like my heart was going to burst, all at the same time. When I finally met his gaze his mouth was on mine. Kissing him, in the shower, water beating down on both of us, couldn't have been any sexier. He squeezed my arse, pressed our erections together. It sent jolts through me but I wasn't in a hurry. I found some shower gel, my excuse to touch him wherever I wanted. He laughed and leant back against the glass, letting me lather him up. I left no stone unturned, going under his balls then reaching over his hips to his arse. So perky and round. I teased his tight hole with a finger and he looked at me as if he was daring me, so I started to push it inside. He grunted, but didn't stop me. I stroked his cock with my other hand and he tilted his head back with a little groan. I pushed the finger in deep, then pulled it out. He gasped. No. He had been teasing me and driving me crazy for weeks. It was my turn. I tugged him back under the spray to rinse him down, then kissed his chest, moving across to a nipple. I licked it, closed my mouth around it, and sucked. Hard. His breath caught in his throat. He almost whimpered. Sensitive, were we? I found the other one with my fingers, playing with it in a different rhythm to what my tongue was doing, twisting and pulling. He shuddered and moaned. "Ty..." The little nub was going so hard beneath my tongue. I flicked it a few more times then bit it. His cock twitched against my leg. With a surge he shoved me back against the tiles and growled. It sounded so deep in his throat. "Why are you so hot?" I didn't reply, just coaxed him with my eyes. Come on. Fuck me. Our cocks pressed together again. He started to grind. His hard length sliding against mine shredded away at my self control. My breathing became irregular, faster. I think I saw that predatory smile again. Before he kissed my neck. How did he seem to know my body like this? How had he figured it out? I was squirming, bucking against his crotch. His lips were being so gentle while the movements of his hips were not. He ran his tongue up my skin, from my shoulder to my ear, then whispered into it. "You like that?" He bit me. I erupted with a moaning cry. He sucked. He kept thrusting. He dragged his lips beneath my chin to the other side and started there. I lost it. "Shit," I gasped. "Fuck me. Please! Fuck me!" He wouldn't stop sucking my neck and grinding. I couldn't take it. "I'm gonna come," I moaned. "Not yet." He moved down. He was on his knees, taking me into his mouth. Shit. He sucked hard, rubbing the underside of my cock with his tongue, then went deep enough that I was hitting his throat. My knees were buckling, I tried to steady myself. Everything was so wet and slippery. I looked down. He sucked purely on the head, looking up at me. That was when I started to come. "Oh, fuck, fuck..." He held my hips but let me thrust into his mouth as the orgasm coursed through me. I think he chuckled. Something vibrated that made it feel even better. My whole body jerked and I was powerless until the sensation ended. His hands stroked up me as he clambered to his feet. He kissed me, letting me taste myself on his tongue. I lapped up whatever he gave me. He pulled away to swallow the rest for himself. My legs were weak and I was gripping his shoulders. He pushed me down and I couldn't resist. I slid down the tiles to the floor, my face level with his crotch. My tongue teased at the slit of his cock, tasting him, until he pushed it into my mouth. He gripped my hair to hold me still and I let him set the pace. I was in the mood to be dominated. There was no escape, the tiles behind my head. He could do whatever he wanted to me. He was slow at first, testing how deep he could go, then picked up speed. I gagged a few times and he would pull back, pause, then keep going. I didn't want him to stop. I moaned in approval and he groaned back. He wasn't coming as fast as I thought he would, though. My jaw was aching. I gasped when he gave me a breather, then he was back in. I massaged his balls, tight against his body, and my fingers ventured to his arse again. I teased the hole, pressing just hard enough to excite the nerves, but not to penetrate. His thrusts into my mouth slowed. "Go on," he said. My wet finger slid inside. "Yes..." I stroked curiously, he grunted. "Deeper. Yes, there, yes. Yes!" I massaged his prostate while he resumed thrusting. That did the trick. He started to gasp and his insides tightened. It must've been powerful because it was almost a roar. He filled my mouth, his body jerking and a moan coming out with every exhale. It was so fucking sexy. I just kept sucking and swallowing until he pulled away. When it finally finished he lowered to his knees, straddling me and pressing his forehead against mine. Damn. The water was still running and beating down on our shattered bodies. I waited for his eyes to open. He was croaky. "Fucking hell, Tyler." "You can't blame wine this time." He bounced with laughter and met my gaze. Then he cupped my cheek and kissed me. One of those slow, lingering kisses that said so much. I hadn't felt so amazing in a long time. He got up to let me go and searched for some shampoo. I stood under the spray for a few seconds, rinsing off any fresh sweat, then searched for a towel. "Can you cook?" he asked as I dried off. "Can't everyone?" "But can you cook good?" "Erm... It depends on the meal and who you ask." I looked over. He had his eyes tightly shut as he washed out the shampoo. "Why?" "I need a man who can cook." He wiped a hand down his face and reached to turn off the shower. The room suddenly seemed quiet. "I'm hopeless." I snorted. "Is this your way of asking me to stay for dinner?" "Yes. Or I'll just be ordering a pizza tonight." I checked my watch amongst the pile of my clothes. Nearly 16:00. Well, that was one way to spend a Sunday afternoon. When had I even woken up? I was hungry. I mean all the cum was nice, but not exactly filling. Darren stepped up behind me and grabbed me with an arm across my chest. He kissed the nape of my neck, and I shivered. "Have I ever told you that you're beautiful?" I turned my head, our cheeks pressed together. "No?" "Well, you are." I don't think I had been called beautiful before. Hot, fit, sexy, handsome, sure. I wanted some witty comeback and had none. "Thanks." He pulled the towel away from me to use himself. "Don't get dressed." "No?" "No." He gave me one of those flirting looks. "Wow." He slung it over his shoulders and, still completely naked himself, headed for the door. "What about your dog, Darren? I don't want her nose up my arse." "It's okay, she's not supposed to be in the kitchen anyways." I think we were finally moving on from that perpetual state of courting. --- It's Who You Know Ch. 04 --- Darren I think I was in love, but I didn't want to admit it yet. It just seemed irrational. How long had I 'known' him? Two months? The tension in the workplace disappeared at least, and it was a relief. We met up for lunch and I could kiss him without a care of who saw. Amelia and Zack knew, so slowly everybody else would, too. My phone was full of messages from Amelia, and by Monday she was in my office. She pulled up a chair, sat opposite me with chin resting on clasped hands, and gave me that cheeky smile. "Tell me everything." I rubbed my brow. "I've seen Tyler's neck," she continued. He had quite a vivid love bite, which was my bad. "I'm not really comfortable talking about it like this." She giggled. "Well, that's mutual. I tried asking him and he just told me to ask you." She leant forward a little further. "Is this serious, Darren? Or are you just having fun?" A hammer blow of a question like that was why I had wanted to keep it quiet for so long. There was this tone to her voice, and I'd had it from Zack earlier, too. It was subtle and difficult to describe, but he might as well have said, 'tell me if Tyler breaks your heart so I can knock his teeth out'. Here Amelia was, studying me with that same faint, underlying concern. "I think it's serious," I said after the pause. "I've been trying to take it slow." "Does Tyler know what slow means? How have you been handling him?" "At first, with effort." She smiled again. "He's not that bad," I said. I meant it. He had calmed down a lot. I knew why they worried, though. There was still something about Tyler that could draw up my defences every time I thought I was getting comfortable. He was wild. There were little flashes of it at random times. Even if he could settle, I wasn't sure I would feel right about putting a leash on a person like that. Some people were meant to wander. The little wild flashes were what excited me so much, but some of that uncontrollable drive came from the fact that I wanted to claim the man. I didn't know if he was a man who wanted to be claimed. What did I really have to offer him? Money. Great. The chaotic and intense lifestyle of managing a company like mine. He wasn't even gay. What if he tilted towards women in the future, wanted a family with kids? I was going to give in eventually and give him all of me. What then? Would his crazy lust be satisfied and he'd move on to the next conquest? I couldn't love him yet. I couldn't love him until he loved me. And it was so stupid because I was the one who had made the first move on him. I had started all this. I had thought I was in love before, and been sorely wrong. And I had been in love before, and lost him. There might have been other problems in the relationship, but the raging homophobic abuse from my uncle was the last straw. To have someone be driven away from me like that had made me bitter. For a long time. How strong Tyler's constitution actually was, I had no idea. All I knew was that he bit back if someone barked at him. He didn't take it. The thought of him clashing with certain members of my family made me sick to the stomach. If he could choose which side of the fence to live on, why would he choose to be gay? When he could be straight and never have to suffer the stigma and hate? All these things could go through my head, then I would look into those warm brown eyes, and feel ashamed. Why was I, and even Zack and Amelia, thinking so badly of him? A person who just wanted sex didn't doze off on my sofa, his head against my chest, while we were both naked. He didn't work so hard to see me smile and laugh. He didn't tell me stories about his childhood and ask about mine. And he wouldn't have gone home when I offered for him to stay the night. He had turned me down. Of course wanting clean clothes and needing some files off his computer for the morning had been a part of it, but I had subtly offered him that sex he was wanting and he'd said no. I wanted to stop overthinking things. Right now, I felt incredible. Every time stress built up, I had something to fall back on. Someone to hold, who would rub my shoulders and keep me going with his upbeat energy. He talked to me about anything and everything. Some of his opinions on the business were just as valuable to me as Zack's. For most of that week I was simply happy. I received comments on my unusually good mood. Just as well, because I was under pressure and might've been foul otherwise. That man I had spilt the coffee on was back. I hadn't scared him off. We had a deal to seal and with the recent fuck-up of Marcus, I needed to land it. He was testing the waters, and I had to go through the delicate negotiations, both holding my ground and not pushing him away. We sat talking in my office again, three days in a row. Zack was there as always, the same silent watcher who sniffed out dodgy business like a bloodhound. He read people in a way I couldn't. He had warned me against a deal a couple years back that could well have bankcrupted the company had I gone through with it - there was some nasty business with fraud a few months further down the line. Money fed into a mess like that just couldn't be compensated. Somehow, Zack had taken one look at the two men that came to talk to us, and known they were bad news. On Thursday, amidst all the buzz of that week, the meetings and pestering colleagues, I had to lock my office door to take a call. Something cold gripped my insides when I saw the name. This number didn't call unless it was important. I held the phone to my ear. "Mister Sörensen," he greeted. Crackly and gruff as always. "Jackson." "Are you somewhere you can talk?" "Yes." "I'll cut to the chase, if you don't mind?" "Of course." I sat down in my chair and stared at my keyboard. "We might have picked up a lead. I haven't been able to get through to your uncle yet today, but I need to ask you some questions." I swallowed. "All right." "I need to know about your recent transactions and if anything unusual has happened." Shit. I started tapping away on my computer, bringing up the accounting information on the server that he needed. I scrolled through it. "Starting from when?" "This year." "Everything has been smooth here," I said. "But the sister company..." "What happened?" I told him about the chunk of money Marcus had lost. He asked more questions that I couldn't answer. "I'm afraid I just don't know. I had Amelia dealing with it. You'll probably want to ask her." "I think I will." He let out a throaty sigh that caught on the voicepiece of his phone and hurt my ear. "This looks like something I need to look into." "I had put it down to incompetence," I said. "I didn't think it could be sabotage." "Yeah, well, we have to be thorough." "Jackson, am I safe? Are my employees safe?" "Of course. If there's any inkling of danger we'll have you out of there." He paused. "Speaking of employees, has anything changed there recently?" "Three new ones in the past couple of months." "And they're clean?" I felt like there was a stone in my stomach. "One of them has a mild record. Nothing serious." He must have heard something in my tone. "If anything unusual has happened I need to know about it. I need the details of this employee. I'll have to look him up. Or her." "It's not necessary." "Darren." I reluctantly brought up Tyler's details on the database. I could hear Jackson pattering on his own keyboard as he copied everything down. I didn't feel like mentioning that he wouldn't find a true, comprehensive report in the police's files. We had been through this with Zack once. Never again. "Don't sound so damn offended," Jackson said. "I'm not accusing you of hiring criminals. It's procedure. Send me an email with this year's transactions, too." "Will do." "You need to take initiative and call me if anything suspicious happens in the next few weeks. I'm gonna have my hands full." "Yes." "You should have told me about this money Marcus lost. Well, all right, Marcus should have told me. I think everyone in your family is the same." He hung up with a curt 'bye' and I stared at Tyler's name on the screen again. This was a situation where I was actually more qualified than Jackson to do his job. I didn't want to think about it, but I needed to be sure. I called Tyler's number. He picked up with audible background noise of the labs. "Hey, sweet-cheeks." God, this was my latest pet name? "Can you come to my office?" I said. He chuckled. "What, you can't wait 'til tonight?" "Tyler. I need to talk you. It's important." His tone dropped. "Okay." * He came in not more than ten minutes later. The muscles of his jaw were tight and I gave him a gentle kiss to soothe him. "What's going on?" he asked. I wandered over to my desk and he followed. "The drug trafficking," I said, and he blinked at me in surprise. "What?" "Are you still in contact with anyone from it?" "No... no it's been years." "You've severed ties to it completely?" "Yes." He leant both hands on the desk and frowned at me. "Erm. Why?" I needed to tell him, I wanted to tell him, I was just trying to figure out what words to use. I wasn't replying so he started talking again, to break that silence in his usual manner. "I might have, like, one old Facebook friend from those times or something." "And how much information do you have on Facebook?" "Not much, I hardly use it." I didn't use social networking. I never put any personal details up online. I couldn't. He scowled at me. "What's this grilling for? What have I done?" "Nothing." I tugged at the trimmed hairs on my chin. "I received a phonecall earlier and it's something I should tell you about." "I'm all ears." I gestured for him to sit down and took my own seat. I tossed a look at the door, I don't even know why. "My father, he died in a crash." Tyler's eyes were gentler and his head tilted slightly. "Your family doesn't have much luck with cars, does it?" "I suppose not. The information that isn't publicly known, is that there were bullet holes in the car, and my father's body. He crashed because he was shot." There was a pause where Tyler's face fell completely. "Barely a year later, my eldest cousin was killed. This one is known publicly as a murder, but as a mugging that turned deadly." "Which is bullshit?" "It was a very well planned murder, not manslaughter. With two suspicious killings so close after one another and the nature of the attacks, the police decided that my family was being targeted. That my father had made some enemies. The main thing investigations turned up was that he'd had black market dealings, and whatever these were had gone sour and led to his death." "Black market dealings? Like what?" "Nobody fucking knows. That's the infuriating thing. There's been an investigation going on for fifteen years, trying to figure out who killed my father and cousin, and why." Tyler stared at me. If his jaw was any tighter I think he'd crunch his own teeth. "Are you in danger, Darren?" "They've picked up a few leads over the years but they went nowhere. I haven't heard anything for a long time, but this phonecall was to tell me that they've picked up another one. Sometimes I'm surprised they haven't just dropped the case. It's been so long since something happened, that they don't think my family is in any direct danger anymore, but something that happened with Marcus recently may be to do with whatever this lead is." I swallowed, suddenly realising how much it was bothering me. "It's a little nerve-wracking that it resurfaces so close to home like this." "Darren, seriously. Are you safe?" I met his gaze. "I think if someone wanted me dead they'd have killed me long ago." I believed that. I really did. But it was still unsettling that I might've ever been on someone's hitlist, just for my surname. He reached across the desk and touched my hand. "You think I got involved in some black market shit with the drug running?" "I don't know." "It was just drug running. Third party stuff. I never got involved in anything like that." It seemed a ridiculous and far-fetched idea, that something might have been attached to Tyler and he'd unwittingly led danger to me. But the mind tried to look for patterns. If I was going to be thinking like that, then Zack was just as much a threat to me, if not more so. But Zack had made me feel nothing but safe since I'd known him. There was a silence and I locked my fingers into Tyler's. "There are some very easy ways to make money, if you want to ignore certain laws," I started. "My resolve has been to never fall into that trap. Everything has always been done the right way, even if it's the hard way. I keep things clean. Whatever mistakes my father made, I don't want to repeat them." Tyler smiled slightly, but then it faded. "Darren, why are we designing drones for the military?" "Because the military wants drones." He looked floored by the simpleness of that answer. "... So we just design technology for whoever pays us enough?" "That's a long story short, yes. The drones is one of our biggest projects to date. They want a working prototype by the end of the year." "Lia told me." He flashed me one of his grins. "I suppose I'll be working hard." He would be, just not that afternoon, as we ended up sitting there in my office and talking until the end of the day. He wanted to know more about my father, so I told him. Told him about how Amelia's father had always been a heavy influence. Told him about all the work, ideas, ideals, and money, that my father had left behind, and that I had founded this company on. In some ways it was his legacy. If he were still around, I hoped he'd be proud of me and what I'd achieved in not only my name, but his. All those figurative and literal blueprints, I'd turned into something tangible. I was running his dream business. I had truly loved my dad, and I wondered if he'd still have loved me, had he been there when I came out. --- Tyler Sometimes, I didn't know how to feel anymore. Any time I got a chance to step back and breathe, it was overwhelming. Everything. This job. This boyfriend. It was almost unreal. How had things become so different? I felt like I was caught up in a movie, or something. Darren was not only more rich than I could comprehend, he had this crazy patriarch of an uncle who tried to run things like a mafia. They were being hunted down by murderous criminals for pissing off the wrong people... or something. Darren assured me he was safe but there was a little flicker in his eyes as though he was wondering himself. And there was Zack, of course, the low-time criminal turned high-time business man, who still had that shady look and bared his teeth any time he faced anyone equally sketchy. Amelia who seemed to know everybody running the country. She casually held meetings with government officials and military personnel, while I sat there trying to pretend I was a statue, wondering what the fuck I was doing. How had I got caught up in this world again? It was all about who you knew, right? I remembered that saying, that everybody was the hero of their own story. I didn't feel like a hero. I wasn't the main character in whatever movie my life was, I was one of those side-characters. The love interest or something. I looked at the steadily growing funds in my bank account. Fuck it. I was going to be a rich cunt. So be it. * I was starting to genuinely make friends at the workplace. Everyone in the labs had to be similar enough in some way to have such a job. We were all a bit nerdy. I got to let out the other side of me, the side that had read Lord of the Rings five times, the side that had always spent a little bit too much time through university gaming. Games, that could open a whole can of worms. Arguments about gaming rigs, PC versus console, conversations that got way too technical and even I struggled to keep up. There was one of those World of Warcraft addicts. One of those weirdos who had about 30GB of Skyrim mods and made a shit ton of them herself. "Why are you still playing Skyrim?" "Because I can mod it!" It seemed that whatever types of people I was with, I still made them laugh, still fit into the role of clown. Turns out I had been something of a mystery to them, someone who turned up one day connected with Amelia. After training me up, she unleashed me as a supervisor. Who sort of knew what he was doing. People just assumed I was legitimate and my authority didn't get questioned. I ordered people around because I said things how they were. If someone was a fucking idiot for frying some circuiting then they were a fucking idiot. They also saw Darren getting into my car at the end of the day sometimes. They didn't instantly piece that to meaning I was in a relationship, because he frequented lifts with Zack and Amelia, and plenty of others sometimes, too. It just solidified my ranking in the company's hierarchy. I was friendly with the boss. I was riding on short cuts, and a weird cross of nepotism and favouritism, and I was intent on proving myself. Proving that I deserved what I had. * Outside of work, I really enjoyed spending time with Darren. Where he had once simply chuckled and shook his head at my stupid antics, he was now joining in. He answered me back when I quipped and I loved his humour, loved bouncing off him until sometimes, I was the one who cracked up first. And he could flirt. God damn could he flirt, saying all the right things to get my heart racing. He really seemed to like eating out. Probably because he either hated cooking, or was as genuinely bad at it as he claimed. We went to all sorts of restaurants and bars. When I asked him about it he told me we were doing it because he could get me to drive him everywhere. "And I have the money to spend so why not?" he added. "How much money do you actually have?" I asked. His reply was a chuckle. "Like, seriously, if you can give me a basic number, how much?" "A lot." "Darren." "Stop being a gold-digger, Tyler." I kicked his foot under the table. "How much?" "My money is the company's money." "Well the company's money got you a massive house, and a two-hundred grand car you don't drive." He grinned. "Income has been bigger than expenses for a long time." "What's a yearly income?" "A lot." "Jesus Christ." I went to kick his foot again but he caught my shoe between his. "I only put enough money in my private account for bills and general living expenses. The rest stays with the company." He leant forwards and touched my chin with his fingers and thumb, studying my face in that dreamy way he sometimes did. "The money fluctuates, anyways. Money that sits around isn't money well spent. Money is meant to make wheels turn. All the people who just sit there on their piles of gold do nothing good for the economy." For a rich cunt, he had a pretty good attitude. We didn't only eat out. We did other things, like going to the cinema, and once just literally walking his dog around a park. One Saturday we went shopping. Clothes shopping to be more precise. It was actually exciting. Darren was so stereotypically fashionable that I wanted to see what he would be like. It was one of the gayest days of my life. But that was fine. Darren picked things out for me to try and I went to the changing rooms. Some things were good, some things didn't fit. My usual issue with trousers was getting something the right length that wasn't too wide at the hips. I walked out from the curtain, topless, to show him an example where it sagged down my butt like a wannabe gangster. It's Who You Know Ch. 04 "Makes me look tough, innit?" He erupted into such a fit of laughter that he cried. We couldn't stop giggling about everything else after that, and I was slowly making a spectacle for everybody there to watch. We were being gay. So gay. I really wished Darren could just take it up a notch into a camp act, and break out the 'darlings'. I was having way too much fun strutting about like it was a catwalk. Darren needed to learn that these things happened if he took me out in public. There was one lad there with his girlfriend, who already looked uncomfortable enough before I started my display. Two women with young children who were wheezing and laughing while somehow looking horrified at the same time. A girl who barely looked 18, giggling and clasping a hand over her mouth with pink cheeks. I'm not sure when it stopped being a catwalk and started turning into stripping, but it kinda did. "Do you feel sexy?" Darren asked, when I finally emerged from the curtain fully-dressed in the clothes I had arrived in. "Fuck yes. You can choose everything I wear from now on." He chuckled and looped an arm around my waist, giving me an affectionate forehead bump. "Oh wow," I heard the girl say. Apparently I had made Darren look embarrassed enough that she hadn't twigged why I was doing my mating display in the first place. She looked me straight in the eye as she walked past me, despite her blushing. "Cute." What was cute? Me? Or the fact that I was in love with a man? Wait, what. I had the realisation hitting me like a brick while I walked towards the till with a bundle of clothes. It was a bit like trying to act sober. Almost as if I was about to break into one of Darren's panic attacks. I just needed a moment, and I wasn't getting one. "Just need a piss," I said as we walked past some mall toilets outside, shoving the bags into Darren's hands. I went into a stall, locked it, and took a few deep breaths, letting that sudden tension come out, then disappear. I spotted him again instantly outside. He was leaning one arm against some railings, one foot slightly crossed over the other, thumb of one hand hooked in the pocket of his jeans. Shit. He really was making my heart flutter. It was as if everything was in black and white and he was in colour. I didn't know what to do with this feeling. So I ignored it. We picked up some sandwiches from a Subway and headed for my car, finishing them off while sitting inside. Darren had insisted on having sweetcorn without mayonnaise to hold it all together, and he was making a mess. "Jesus Christ, Darren. You swallow cum but a bit of mayo makes you sick?" He almost spat out his mouthful and sat there chuckling without a comeback. "I hate mayo," he finally managed. I reached down to remove the bags of clothes from his feet and tossed them onto the backseat. "That girl fancied you pretty bad," he said. I folded my hands behind my head and grinned. "Yeah? Too young for me." "That's all right, I'm sure those mums wanted a piece of you too." "Everyone wants a piece of me." I turned my head. "But I'm all yours." He glanced at me before going back to his sandwich. "All mine?" "Yep." I seriously considered saying it, but I didn't have any idea how. It wouldn't exactly be romantic, would it? Sitting in my car with him dropping sweetcorn all over his lap. So I'd use a more comfortable subject instead. "If you ever want to consummate this ownership you can just, you know, finally fuck me." "A very tempting offer." I sighed and thudded my head against the wheel. He chuckled again. "Darren?" "Yes?" "Are you a top or bottom?" He frowned at me. "You've not figured out yet?" "I thought I had it all figured out then you started confusing me." "How?" "I don't know, just... comments you make." "Mhm." "And you really like it when I finger your arse." "Mhm." I could swear he was paying more attention to that damn sandwich than me. "But you're normally so..." I actually had a bit of a hand wave as I tried to think of the word. He was rubbing off on me. "Dominant." He tossed me a look. "You think a bottom can't be dominant?" "Well I-" "I used to know a dominant bottom. He was completely in control, you just thrusted when he told you." I blinked, folding my arms on the wheel. "Darren, seriously. What are you?" "I'm a top." I fucking knew it. "But you've bottomed before?" "Yes." Damn. "So what are you? Like ninety-ten split?" "Eighty-twenty." Double damn. I was grinning like an idiot again, he just smiled at me. He still hadn't finished that stupid sandwich so I started the engine. "You can top me any time." "Maybe I'll bottom." "Stop it." * There was a big event coming up. Darren called it 'networking'. He and Amelia both thought it was a good idea if I attended. Apparently this networking meant lots of business owners all meeting up at a stupidly expensive restaurant in London. "I can't, Darren. I'll stick out like a sore thumb. You just can't take me to places like that." He frowned at me across the desk. "What are you worrying about?" "I just can't do that environment." "You'll find it easier than you think. You're beautiful, Tyler. Rich people will always receive you well when you're beautiful." I wasn't sure how I felt about that. "You own a suit?" he asked. "Yes." "I'd like to see you in it." I smirked. "I should probably be babysitting David if Zack and Lia are going anyways-" "No. You're going to come, Tyler." I only realised the day before that Darren's whole family was going to be there. Or at least, whatever was left of his family that hadn't been killed... Shit. What was this? Like the rich cunt version of taking me home to meet the parents? I was having a nervous freakout to Zack and he cuffed me over the head, shutting me up in an instant. I stared at him, he stared back. I don't even know how the wrestle started, we hadn't done something like that in years. An explosion of pent up childish energy. It was like we were at college all over again. He was just as monstrously heavy and strong as I remembered him. I had barely got out of a headlock when he lifted me off the floor and body slammed me. Fuck my life. In this weird mixture of coughing, gasping for breath, and laughing, I fought back until he had me completely pinned. He laughed more and more every time I struggled. "Zack," I wheezed. Please, nobody come into his office right now. "If I can attend these stupid things, so can you." For all he had settled into this corporate lifestyle, he was still the Zack I'd always known beneath. * We all left early that Friday. I dropped Darren off, then went through a carwash before arriving home myself. I found that damn suit and put it on, staring at myself in the mirror while I adjusted the tie. The last time I remembered legitimately wearing the thing was at the wedding. I was glad it still had a tailored fit. It was like I stared at another version of myself in that mirror. A version I would never quite be. I could stay in this company for the rest of my life, but I was happy to be down in the labs, in jeans and white coat, shocking my fingers on faulty bits of equipment. I pulled up at Darren's house and waited at the gates, revving the engine. My phone buzzed with a text. "Coming." He approached a couple minutes later, dressed in a different suit to what he normally wore at work. Dark navy blue jacket and trousers, grey waistcoat, silver tie. I might not have liked the formal look on myself, but I really, really, liked it on him. I got out to act like some chauffeur and open the passenger door for him. He looked me up and down, smiling. "Fantastic," he said, and touched his lips to mine. "Am I pulling it off?" "Yes, you are." It was quite a drive into London. Darren's phone kept going off the whole time. He took countless calls, spoke countless names, exchanged all sorts of pleasantries and small talk, before hanging up and going through it all over again the next time it rang. The general vibe of each conversation was the same - 'I'll see you there'. I just let his voice soothe me while the traffic crawled along the M25. At one point he was leaning on my seat, watching me a little vacantly while his mind focused on the call, gently stroking my cheek with his knuckles. When he brushed my neck I shivered. He was already leaning further towards me as he said goodbye to whoever it was. His fingers hooked in my collar and he kissed me. It was... passionate. He forced my lips apart and slid his tongue into my mouth. My chest tightened. I got so into it that I didn't move with the traffic and someone honked at me. He bit my lip when I pulled away. "Jesus Christ," I breathed, quickly moving the car. His eyes were intense. "Is this suit doing something for you?" "I think it is." His phone rang again and he looked at it like he wanted to throw it through the window, but answered it. "Hello, Andrea. Yes... Yes, of course." At least it was brief. He hung up again quick. "Are we allowed to be gay at this place?" I asked. He smirked. "I don't hide what I am. Just don't overdo it." "You're gonna be the one overdoing it if you go kissing me like that." We waited briefly in the carpark and I studied the building. It looked the sort of place to have chandeliers made of diamonds. Big pillars marked the entrance. Zack and Amelia pulled up next to us a few minutes later, then the last car with another couple, who I was introduced to as Harry and Andrea. The six of us joined the trickles going inside. There were more clusters of people waiting around the steps leading up to the pillars, greeting each other and chatting away. Someone moved into Darren's path. I knew who he was in an instant. His eyes were even colder than Darren's, such a light blue that they almost looked entirely white, broken by the black dots of pupils. His hair had greyed, but everything about his expression and posture suggested he hadn't accepted that he was old yet. There was a younger man with him, with darker hair and eyes, who still had the face structure to look related. Marcus. Three women, one of whom was obviously Darren's aunt. A similar looking younger one - another cousin? The other was Marcus' wife? Oh wait, someone else was there too. The female cousin's husband? The uncle was suddenly before me, looking through me with those eyes. He held a hand out. "Vincent," he said. The handshake was quick and rough, just something he wanted over with. I glanced over my shoulder and saw that he was the same with everybody, but Amelia laughed and leant in to kiss his cheek. "As grumpy as always, Vince," she said. We were seated at a table inside, then the night began. I knew how it would be, but I still felt unprepared for it. A congregation of so many CEO's of various enormous companies, with friends and families. There were people there many, many times richer than Darren. People sat at tables. People walked around the bar. People talked. People talked more. Some people started laughing, loud. Wine and champagne went all around. People moved along tables, greeting old friends, introducing themselves to new ones. There was lots of showboating. People pitching themselves to potential new clients. Discussing possible deals. At some point Darren had to get up and do some performance with his uncle, acting like they were deeply close family members. Someone that I vaguely recognised greeted Amelia loudly and heartily, and she disappeared for a while too. Zack smirked at me across the table. I shrugged back. What the fuck to do at something like this? At least I was getting to try some strange and expensive food for free. They had zebra on the menu. Zebra. Darren finally came back, still grinning and waving off someone who was calling after him. I could see that the smile was barely above a grimace and his laughter was fake. He sat down heavily. "Kill me," he said to Zack and I. "Are they bringing up the shit from last year?" Zack asked. "Yes." I got dragged into something eventually. Someone from a meeting with Amelia recognised me, and I found myself standing with a cluster of other people, smiling and nodding, wondering at which point I was supposed to say something. It was a long, long evening. Darren disappeared again and Amelia asked me to go find him. I thought he was probably outside, taking a break from all the buzz and noise. I found him, but he was talking with his uncle. "Should I be flattered that you're taking such an interest?" I caught Darren saying. "Do you have to be such a faggot?" Shit. "You seem to be the only person here who cares." A throaty scoff from Vincent. "At least this one isn't a fucking twink." "Is he manly enough for you?" "Well, he doesn't scream 'fag' at me." "There you go, now you can sleep at night." "If you kiss him again in front of me-" "You will look away. I'm tired of your shit, Vince." "You expect to land business when you strut around like a raging homosexual?" I wanted to interrupt. I needed a perfect moment where I could quip. "I wasn't aware that we pitched private lives," Darren continued. "You once again turn up without a wife, and this time in the company of a man." "Yes, and jaws have been dropping to the floor, haven't they?" "Darren, I cannot condone it. You are an abomination in the eyes of God. 'Th-'" "Do not quote that fucking book at me." Shit, Darren's voice went sharp. I could feel how livid the silence was. What did it look like, when two pairs of eyes as cold as theirs were glaring at one another? "When you piss about being a fag it affects my business too." "I'm sorry, that must really be hurting those empty pockets of yours." I felt like Darren was about to be struck. Something in the air and the way his tone jumped. My legs carried me into view before I had time to think. "Mister Sörensen." They both snapped around to me. "That's some unattractive language." Wow, the glare. It was like he thought he could kill me with his eyes. I wasn't going to be fazed by it. "Will it make you feel better to insult me to my face as well? Don't be shy." There was a long silence, then Vincent's grey head turned back to Darren. "You found one with balls. Well done." He stalked off, nearly bashing my shoulder had I not moved, muttering about 'bloody fags' as he went. Darren let out a deep sigh. "Tyler." "Is he always so charming?" "You've stood listening?" "Since he called you a faggot." He rubbed his brow with finger and thumb, then his eyelids. "I'm sorry. This is... This is my uncle." I had expected him to look more hurt after such an exchange, but he didn't. He just looked tired. "You're okay?" "He tries to get me to repent about once a week. You're going to see more of this. You're going to have to put up with a lot of this if you're going to be involved with me." There was something in his eyes now. I couldn't quite decipher it. I stepped closer and touched at his waist. "I'm a proud fag if it means I get to be with a man like you." The kiss was one of those slow, lingering ones, that felt as though he was trying to control himself and not repeat what happened in the car. Why couldn't I say it? Right then would've been romantic as fuck. I was hopeless. We parted, but he pulled me back and held me tight, chin resting on my shoulder. "When can we go?" I asked. "Another hour." --- Darren He pulled the car up, headlights shining onto the metal gate, and stopped. Here would be where I gave him a kiss and got out. He was looking at me expectantly. I stared ahead. I reached for the door and sensed that sudden twinge in him. "Darren?" "You're coming in." I don't know what expression he pulled, I didn't look at him. Just a minute or more under control. I stepped around to the pad, opened the gate, and watched him roll the car into the driveway, tyres crunching on loose gravel. He had parked and was getting out as I reached the front door. Behind me as I turned the key in the lock. On my heels as I stepped inside. I had already slammed him into the wall when the door shut. It was burning in me, not just lust, but so much more. Something uncontrollable. He gasped for air and I kissed him harder. The only thing better than seeing him in that suit would be seeing it come off. He staggered forward when I pulled away. I headed through the foyer for the stairs and he followed. The footsteps sped up, like I was being chased. He collided with me on the landing and we bounced off the wall before tumbling to the floor, wrestling, laughing, the weight of his body on top of me as he kissed me. I pulled his hips against mine, letting him feel me, and he moaned. "Where the fuck is your bedroom?" he breathed in my air. "If you'd get off me." He chuckled and I shoved him over, hearing him thud against the wooden floor. I bit his lip before I got to my feet. The room's light was a sharp pierce after the dark of the house. That expression was almost fixed on his face, like he was overtaken with boyish, giddy excitement. I didn't know how I was going to get him off me, to get the clothes off him. He was so forceful, as if he was challenging me. It set me on fire. The heat surged through every muscle in my body. I had him on his back on the bed, he struggled. My lips finally found the skin of his neck. His grip on my suit weakened. He moaned something when I ground against him. Was he going to behave? The jacket came off, then the tie. I resisted the urge to rip his shirt open. The fabric seemed so delicate beneath my hands, the burning heat of his body glowing through. He unbuckled his own belt, legs wrapping around me to kick off his shoes. I pulled everything off. My heart was racing. His perfect body, naked on my bed. What was the hurry? I had all night. He leant into the touch of my fingers, then his fist clenched in the material of my suit. "Is this fair?" he growled. I started to undress. His hands were on my bare skin in an instant, moving up my stomach, squeezing my chest, then straight to my nipples. The pinches of his fingers sent jolts through me, straight to my cock. I pressed him down on the bed, wanting to feel every inch of his body against mine. The hair of his chest brushing against mine, the line down his stomach, passing the threshhold at his navel and darkening. The smooth skin of his shaft against mine. His hands that kept feeling my back and shoulders. His firm lips, the taste of his mouth, the soft underside of his tongue. I could almost hear his heartbeat. I felt the pulse on his neck. He ground against me, slow and sensual movements, rubbing his legs against mine. His body shuddered and groaned beneath me. The tastes and smells of an evening's worth of sweat, and I wouldn't have it any other way. "Darren," he breathed. "Fuck me." I sucked on his neck, feeling him tremble one more time, before pulling away. I went to the drawers and he moved up to the pillows. His warm eyes followed my every move, and I only took out the lube. I was intent on going bareback, and there were no comments of objection from him. He was grinning. I knelt between his legs and kissed him again, letting my hands run down his torso. I couldn't get over how perfect his body was, lean and tight and built in all the right places. The lines of his hips led me to his crotch and I gave his hard length an affectionate stroke. A chuckle rolled from his throat that broke the kiss. "Please don't tease me for an hour." "I don't think I could last another hour." "I've been a good boy." "A hot boy." "You know what else is hot?" He gave a little coaxing buck, raising an eyebrow, biting his lip. "My insides." Stupid little comments like always. I loved it. I loved him. It's Who You Know Ch. 04 Shit, I wanted to fuck him until he screamed. I lubed a finger and rubbed it around his hole. His legs spread wider, and I slid it inside. His abs flinched and tightened, his head thudded against the board of the bed. I watched his spine curve, his hips tilt, hungrily trying to take me in. He let out one of those approving grunts. "Show me where you feel it," I said. His hips gyrated slightly and I stroked my fingertip inside. "Down, a bit... there." His voice was so sexy. "You feel it?" "Yeah." I stroked a little more before pulling out and adding more lube, going in with two fingers the second time. He moaned, and I fucked him down to my knuckles, watching his erection twitch, the pre-cum swelling on the head that hovered by his navel. When I pulled out again he looked down, watching me lube up my cock, stroking his own. The foreskin rubbed over that dark head, smearing the pre-cum into a sheen. I wanted to lick it, taste it. But I wanted to fuck him more. With his hips angled slightly against my thighs, I pressed at the entrance. It yielded, I pushed inside. He enveloped the head of my cock, then his breath caught in his throat. His hands were gripping the headboard to steady himself. I held his waist, taking it slow, gradually entering with more thrusts. I could feel his muscles relaxing. He had good control over his body. He knew what he was doing. When the resistance disappeared I slid all the way in. He erupted with a short cry, spine arching, pushing himself against my legs. "Shit," he gasped. Every breath was hitching, his ribcage heaving. "You okay?" "So deep." He swallowed, thudding his head against the board for a moment, then looked down. "So fucking deep. Darren, you've got a big dick." I smirked. An inch over average length, maybe. I pulled back and thrusted in with one steady movement. He was like hot velvet. His body seemed to ripple with pleasure. He moaned and wrapped his legs around me. "Fuck me!" I started slow, picked up speed. The slide of the lube, the grip of his insides. He gasped and groaned, knuckles white as he gripped the headboard, eyebrows tilted and cheeks flushed. His expression said he was lost, that he couldn't take it, but he never told me to stop. His stomach flinched, his ribs heaved. He was the sexiest man I'd ever fucked. He knew how to let go, crying out in pleasure and writhing like a thing gone wild. His hips ground into my movements, trying to get me to go deeper, deeper. I paused to turn him onto his stomach, gripping beneath his shoulders while I kissed and sucked on his neck, thrusting down while he shuddered and tensed. Some of his words were inaudible, but his breathless voice turned me on so much it didn't even matter what he was saying. His little pants and moans as I fucked him. His back hitting my chest as he struggled and squirmed, while I sucked harder and harder on his neck. "Shit," he gasped. "Wait, wait, stop." I pulled back, he rolled me over, straddling me and gripping the muscles of my chest. I slid back in at his control, and he rode me. He played with my nipples until I almost came. I wasn't going to last, I had to get him off - with grunts and growls he dared to wrestle with me. Fuck yes. I flipped him onto his back again, pounding him harder than before. He laughed. He loved it. Sweat shone on his skin, making the hair stick to his chest and stomach. I held him down, he pulled me closer. I could feel his body loosen, submitting as I kissed him. I had his legs over my shoulders, holding his hips while I pumped into his hole. He jacked his cock, frantic and panting, the other hand trying to grip something to steady himself. I could feel the pleasure building up, a pulsing knot in my stomach, surges in my body. He was so hot. "Fuck," he panted. "Yes. Yes, yes, yes!" His words turned into moans and he started to come. I lost myself in it. His long, blissful groan filled the room, his insides convulsing and squeezing. I shuddered, I gasped, and it exploded through me, controlling every jerking thrust. I filled him so deep and it just didn't seem to end. Every twitch of him around my cock made me tremble. My head was spinning. It was the best thing I'd ever felt. I fell forward onto my arms, looking down at his chest, rising and falling with his breaths. I licked the cum off. All of it. I loved the hair on my tongue, the taste of him, mixed with his sweat. He let out a soft moan and curled his fingers around my neck. I stayed inside him until I could feel myself softening. When I pulled out everything was slick. He stayed laying there, breathing through those smiling pants, eyes closed, arms limp. I collapsed beside him, head against his shoulder. Shit. That was amazing. "Your bedsheets are fucked," he eventually croaked. "Can you make them? I don't wanna move." I started chuckling, my whole body bouncing. What the fuck, Tyler? "You gotta move." "No. You fucked my brains out." We laid there a little while longer, then I lifted my head to kiss him. He stirred after our lips parted, sitting up stiffly, and frowning. "Shit," he growled. "I'm gonna queef." "Go ahead." His venture to the side of the bed was less than graceful. I laughed more, just watching him tumble and stagger around. I felt so high, high on life, high on what had just happened. "You're lucky I took a giant shit before we left that place," he said. "Should give me some warning next time. Could have an accident." I couldn't breathe. Only Tyler could go from being the sexiest thing in existence, to a complete fucking clown in a matter of minutes. That look on his face, as though he was so genuinely frustrated by the workings of his body. I found him some tissues from a drawer and he tried to clean himself up while I straightened the mess of my bedsheets. He turned the light off and clambered in beside me. Climbed into my arms. He laid on top of me, exhausted, skin still damp with sweat. I kissed his shoulder and held him tight. "You promised me the time of my life," I mumbled. "Did I deliver?" "Yeah." He nuzzled my neck, and I think I fell asleep like that, his weight nearly crushing my chest. I don't remember rolling into a different position. --- Tyler It was the most contented night's sleep I'd ever had. Everything felt amazing against my skin - the mattress, the duvet, the pillows. Even his body heat for a hot summer night. I was stirred by his fidgeting, closing the distance we must have put between us while sleeping. Morning sunshine was glaring through the window. His arms slid around my middle, pulling me against his chest. He peppered the back of my neck and shoulder with drowsy kisses. "Are you getting up?" I croaked. "No." He squeezed me tighter, heaving with a exhale, then his breathing deepened. I dozed off soon after. I loved being spooned. The sun was higher when I came to later. He rolled onto his back and I turned with him. I think both of us were perfectly awake, but neither wanted to be the one to get up first. I rested my head against his chest, listening to the dull thuds of his heart, taking in that sensation of being so close to someone, so relaxed and trusting. His skin felt so smooth beneath my hand. His whole body felt amazing. This wasn't a morning where I should hurry up and leave. I was welcome in that bed. "Darren?" He grunted, leg stroking against mine. "I love you." There was a pause where his hand ran up my arm and shoulder. He cupped my cheek, shifted onto his side, and kissed me. "I love you too." My chest was tight. It had just slipped out, easy as that, and he said it back. I didn't know what to do, other than stare into those smiling eyes. He kissed me again, then again and again, until he was rolling on top of me, pressing me into the mattress. Shit, I had done something right. He lifted himself and straddled me. "You love me because I fucked you?" "What?" Jesus Christ, what kind of person did I look like? "I've been wanting to say it all week," I blurted. "I wanted to say it so many times last night." "Why didn't you?" "Because I suck at this. I've had no idea what I'm doing ever since this started. Just been hoping I don't screw up somewhere." "... I'm sorry if I've made you feel that way." "No. Maybe. I don't know." I sat up and hugged him. "You're amazing." He chuckled. I got to hear it through his chest. "Is it weird? Is it too fast? I don't know what I'm supposed to do, like-" "You don't have to do anything, Ty." "You make me feel all these things." He chuckled again and stroked my hair. "You make me feel them too. Want a shower?" "Yes." I followed him down the hallway, watching his butt as he walked. My own arse felt a little bit... well, it wasn't exactly sore. Not exactly uncomfortable. My body was just aware that it had been pounded hard last night. I took a good long piss while he started the water, which was just as well because the moment I saw his wet skin I got hard. It was almost embarrassing. How long until I could be around him without always having a raging boner? I got butterflies just remembering what happened last time we were in that shower. He stroked me with the lather of showel gel until I came. It felt good, one of those slow, shuddering ones. He was pretty calm, satiated I guess, and I didn't have to return the favour on him. I settled for massaging his back and shoulders, his body relaxing in bliss. "These arms," I said. "This isn't natural, is it? How much do you work out for this?" "Twenty push-ups every morning, twenty every night." "That's it?" "All it's been for a couple of years." "You didn't do it last night." He tossed a grin over his shoulder. "No, I was a bit distracted." "I bet you can pack a mean punch." "I wouldn't really know." "Come on, you've hit someone before." He leant back against me, I moved my hands to his stomach and chest. "I can only think of a single fist fight I've ever been in." "Did you win?" "Luckily, yeah." "School playground?" "No, no. I was twenty something. It was with Marcus." I squeaked with laughter. "Serious?" "Yes." "What happened?" "He was really into Lia for a while. He wouldn't stop hounding her and she was already seeing Zack by then. She was my best friend, you know, and he was just talking about her like she was some piece of sport. I lost my shit." I cackled, trying to picture that dark-haired man and Darren swinging fists at each other. "And you won that?" "I've always been bigger than him. He got the shit beaten out of him by his gay cousin. He wasn't happy about it, neither was my uncle." I kissed his neck, tasting both the water and his skin. "Do rich cunts like you even go to school? Or did you get private home tutoring or something?" "No, I went to a private school." "All boys?" "Yeah." "While you were gay? Wow." "Yeah, it sucked." "Didn't, y'know, something happen?" "No. It was Catholic, Ty." "So? Did you get one of those kiddie fiddler priests?" "Oh my fucking God." He laughed over the sound of the shower, thudding his head against the tiles behind my shoulder. "I wasn't molested, no." I thought I heard a faint sound, like the front door shutting somewhere distant downstairs. He brushed a hand through his wet hair and started to get out. "You want some coffee?" "Yeah, and toast. You have a toaster, right?" "Do you like warm bread or charred husk?" "Somewhere in the middle." "Don't take an hour." I stayed in the shower for a bit, turning the spray up to strongest and soaking it in. So many feelings were happening recently and I needed little breaks, to sort through everything in my mind. Like running a defrag on a computer. When I got out I didn't really feel like dressing in bits of the suit I'd worn yesterday, so I went downstairs naked. The low tones of Darren's voice pierced through the walls. Probably on the phone. He was always being called. I went around the opposite side of the house to the lounge, wanting to see if it all led around into the kitchen like some sort of horseshoe. I passed a dining room of sorts, something with lots of bookshelves. I was following it around when I came across someone. Amanda was on a lead and tried to lunge at me in greeting, yanking the girl's arm so she spun around. Well, I say girl. She could easily have been 30, she just had a baby face. She looked me up and down and went red. I clasped my hands over my crotch. Jesus Christ. "I'm so sorry-" she started. "Sorry-" I interrupted. "I'm sorry I didn't-" "No it's my fault-" "Sorry-" "Sorry-" Darren came in from the kitchen to split up our sputtering. He was only clad in baggy tracksuits, but it was twice as dressed as I was. "Well done, Tyler." He'd told me to walk around naked last time I was in his house, damn it. "I didn't know someone was here," I said in my defence. "No, no, I'm sorry," she said again, looking at Darren. Sorry about me being naked? She could probably walk into a lamppost and apologise to it. "I didn't realise you had company. I thought you might've bought a new car. It's so duh." He chuckled, gesturing at me with the fingers holding his mug of coffee. "This is Tyler, my boyfriend." I offered a grin and a bounce of my brows, but couldn't really shake her hand. "Tyler, this is Rachel. Dog walker, dog sitter, basically the one who does all the hard work looking after Manda because I'm a terrible owner." She scoffed and tossed him a look, he smirked back. "Don't be modest." "I should get going anyway, er." I stepped aside to let her by, Amanda sniffing at my hands as she went. Damn dog. "I'll make sure he's dressed when you're back," Darren said. I followed him into the kitchen, clasping a hand to my forehead and chuckling. "Sorry." "She doesn't normally come on weekends, but I asked her to, since I'd be out late. I suppose it's one way to show you off." I thought I'd organised my feelings but my chest was feeling all tight and fluttery again. "It felt so good to be introduced like that." "What? Naked and blushing?" "No, as your boyfriend." He put a mug of coffee in my hands and kissed me. I stayed the whole day. Darren let me borrow some of his clothes, which felt amazing. They fit pretty well. Rachel came back after an hour and we got to hold a proper conversation where I wasn't holding my hands over my dick. She lived in one of the other big houses further up the road, and she was a writer, journalist or something. Her husband was something or other and rich too. It seemed that every real friend Darren had was female. Except Zack. I went exploring the gardens and grounds, throwing a frisbee for Amanda, who had a habit of chasing after it then sitting with it between her paws, and not actually bringing it back. Pulling that clueless face at me with her tongue lolling out. The most exciting thing was around a corner and behind some hedges. A giant patio, with a cover pulled over a pool. I charged back inside, the dog nearly tripping me up and getting beneath my feet. "You have a fucking pool?!" He just laughed at me. "If you want to go scooping out all the leaves and bugs, be my guest." I cooked for him again, throwing together whatever I could find in his cupboards. He was one of those people who seemed to buy everything organic and fair trade. Could he be much more of an upper class stereotype? We cuddled on the sofa and watched something on TV, which I didn't pay much attention to as I cared more about getting my hands under his shirt. Once we were grinding and making out he dragged me up to his room. We had sex again, but it wasn't as frantic as the night before. We took our time, exploring each other's bodies, and finding out what each other really liked. Being with him, this confident, experienced gay man, was just an incredible experience. He knew everything about my anatomy, and loved every inch of it. Nothing seemed off limits. He was gentler with me. I'd thought I was fine, but discovered I was surprisingly sore once he went in. I couldn't really take another pounding so soon after the last one, but he didn't mind. There were plenty of other things to do. It wasn't some crazy, lust-fuelled fucking. It was what I'd been wanting - a person, not a body. I truly felt like I was giving myself, and he could take whatever he wanted. I got to spend a second night in his bed, waking up cuddling again in the morning. I loved my job, I loved this man. Right then, I loved my life. --- It's Who You Know Ch. 05 --- Darren Business was going well, and private life even better. I actually wanted to talk Amelia first for once, before she asked questions. I told her about the weekend, as vaguely as possible. The sex, as amazing as it had been, wasn't what I really wanted to discuss. "He said that he loves me." Her brows were almost at her hairline. "And you love him too?" "Yes." "Oh my God." She had a hand over her mouth, but I could tell she was grinning from her cheeks and eyes. "It really is serious, then." I smirked, fiddling with a pen on my desk. "Are you and Zack still worrying about him breaking my heart?" "No, it's not that we... Tyler's always had his problems. But I think he's a man with a lot of love to give, he's just never found the right person before. Oh my God, you don't understand how happy this makes me. How happy I am for you. Can I just...?" She came around the desk and squeezed me. "I suppose I have you to thank for this," I said. "I never would've thought... Well, I'd be lying if I said it hadn't crossed my mind. But I didn't think we'd be here now, like this. Oh my God. You're like two halves of my life, and now you've come together. It's like everything's come full circle." She pulled back with that beaming smile on her face, and her eyes even looked a little watery. I could swear she was more emotional over my relationship than I was. "I really do think Tyler's in love with you," she said. "You should ask Zack. He says he's never seen him look at someone before, the way he looks at you." "Everything's been going so well it's almost too good to be true." "You deserve this. You deserve a break, things going right for once." "It's not been that bad..." "Tyler needs this too." She clasped that hand over her mouth again. "Don't cry on me." "Why, because you'll start too?" I chuckled and got to my feet to hug her. She squeezed my ribs so tight I thought one would snap. The office door came open, and Zack peered in with a quizzically cocked brow. "Is everything all right?" Amelia released me and spun to him. "They're in love!" "Yeah?" "They've admitted it to each other!" "Nice." I loved how calm he always was in the face of her bubbling energy. They were storybook perfect. Were Tyler and I so perfect? What did it look like to the outside? * Tyler said he would sort the pool, and kept to his word. He emptied it and cleaned out the whole thing with the help of my gardener, Rick. It took them three days. Rick was in his 50s, and proudly gay. He'd been a good friend to me for years, and had even set me up on dates with his expansive social network. He couldn't believe I'd found this one without his help. He thought he knew every handsome stud in England. I was letting Tyler in, letting him meet everyone else who meant something to me, letting him into my life. I wasn't just a man who juggled big numbers and talked with people from the military. He hit it off with Rick, and they cursed and swore at each other with the frustrations of their enormous job. Rick kept wheezing and coughing with laughter nearly every other sentence. Everyone seemed to receive Tyler so well, which was a relief. He was charismatic, and he was funny. His brazen, borderline offensive humour caught everybody off-guard, and they would laugh and gasp, wide-eyed, while wanting more. I could relate to that sensation. I don't think he realised the full scale of his effect on people. He liked to make himself the butt of his own jokes far too much. That pool and patio had never seen much use over the years, but it was amazing to spend summer evenings sitting out there reading, while Tyler enjoyed the fruits of his labour. He was a good swimmer, one of those people who covered lengths with speed and perfect techniques. He looked like he could have been competitive with it when he was younger. He didn't have to get any more attractive, but he did. He looked so lithe and agile in the water. "You are the definition of an otter," I said. He hung on the edge of the pool with his elbows, grinning at me, wet hair sticking to his forehead. "I never really got that." "What?" "How gay guys call each other animals. I never understood it." "You haven't spent much time in the gay community then?" "Well, no. They never really accepted me." I frowned, he wiped a hand down his face. "Being bisexual and that. Never really been accepted anywhere. It was always like, 'you're just gay aren't you, why won't you come out the closet yet?'" It struck me surprisingly hard. People who might spend their lives being ostracised could be hypocrites and do it to another. I'll admit that I had been somewhat skeptical over whether bisexuals were a legitimate thing or not, too, but this was a layer of realisation I was ashamed I hadn't given thought to earlier. They weren't one or the other. How were they supposed to fit in? "Do bisexuals have to come out the closet the same? What's it like?" He shrugged a shoulder and was grinning again, the mischievous lip curl. "I guess we sorta have to stick one leg out, but the other one can stay in." I chuckled. "Most people just thought I was a slut, way too willing to fuck anybody and everybody." "And you weren't?" "I've always had standards, I just used to drink too much." He kicked off the side to swim another length and back. I didn't mind the experience he already had with his own body. He might've fucked a hundred other people but I didn't care, because he was mine now. We both had our histories. He resurfaced with a gasp of breath, holding the side again. "So I'm an otter? What are you? A wolf?" I shrugged. "I dunno." "Why not?" "Ask Rick for his opinion next time you see him. He really likes the labels." He clambered out, weight straining on his arms as he lifted his body from the buoyancy of the water. He would never stop making my heart do flips. "Rick strikes me as an aged porn star." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "You're spot on." He erupted with that adorable yelping laughter. "Seriously? Jesus Christ! He didn't quit 'cause he got AIDs, did he?" "No, he's perfectly healthy as far as I know." He sat between my legs, arms looped over my knees, head resting against my crotch and stomach, soaking my trousers and shirt with his hair. I didn't really care - he looked so content. "We're having such good weather this summer," he said. And he was right. It was still so warm even with the sun setting. "Is this a hint that you want time off for a holiday?" "Nah. Or actually, do you have, like, a holiday home in Cyprus or something? Isn't that a normal rich people thing?" "No. If I take holidays I like to go to the southern hemisphere during winter." "Because it's summer there then. I see. Clever." "I've been to New Zealand a few times. It's beautiful. I'd love to take you." His head tilted back to look up at me. "I'd like that." "Monster of a plane journey, though." "Yeah, other side of the planet." He shifted and turned, hand on my stomach. "Can I stay tonight?" "Work tomorrow?" "Yeah, I know. I don't care." I smiled. "Sure. I'll let Zack know he doesn't have to give me a lift." "I'd like to drive you every morning, even if I don't stay over." "Are you sure?" "Yes." He leant up further to kiss me, lips faintly tasting of chlorine. "Gonna go shower." I had wanted to at least finish the page I was on, but his lure was too strong. If he was staying the night, we were having sex. --- Tyler I was down in the labs, wearing my white coat, goggles, and rubber gloves, feeling like such a damn scientist. Officially, I was. I had bits of paper to prove it. I was in the thick of things with my team when Amelia came in looking for me. "Tyler." "'Sup?" "Can you come with me." It was the way it sounded more a statement than a question. Her tight voice. I looked around. It was evident on her face, however much she was hiding it. "What's up?" She held a hand up briefly, giving a flick of the whites of her eyes. "Just come." Okay, no drama in front of everybody else. I pulled off the goggles and gloves and followed her out. "What's going on?" I asked in the corridor. She pressed the button for the lift, and the doors opened almost immediately. We stepped in. "I don't know exactly," she said. "Something happened in a meeting. Zack's been in a fight." "What?" She shook her head at me with pursed lips. She really didn't know. We raced through the complex as fast as we could, while somehow trying not to show that something was wrong. When we passed the reception one of the women gave Amelia a look with her eyes, and she just looked back. Some wordless conversation. We took stairs instead of lifts. I was too confused at what the hell was going on to be feeling the worry yet. Commotion started to show towards the conference rooms. That's when the nerves began. There was a crowd filling a corridor. People looked around and parted for us. I was feeling my rank as I rushed through the crowd, lab coat billowing behind me, Amelia trotting in the path I created. I spotted him instantly, towering over everyone. Zack. His shirt looked like the top few buttons had been ripped open and it was red with blood. From the pattern of it and the dried rivulets on his neck, it was from a nosebleed. He was bristling, almost snarling, throwing the weight of his shoulders around with his shifting movements. I hadn't seen him in his guard-dog state in a long time, but I knew it when I saw it. People were trying to get by and he wouldn't let them past. They were trying to reach Darren, and he wouldn't let anyone near. He held that space with his body language and glares. People were talking but I couldn't make out what anyone was saying. Why was he guarding Darren? What had happened? I could just about get glimpses of Darren. He didn't look in a state like Zack, but he was unsettled. I pushed through the crowd further. Two police officers were there. They were trying to talk to Darren but Zack was warding them off, standing between them like a rock. Darren was pretty much hidden at the end of the corridor, trapped behind the wall Zack made with his broad frame. That's when I saw it. Someone was laying on the floor behind Zack. They weren't moving. Unconscious? Oh God, please don't be a dead body. Please Zack, no. Don't say you had done this. Please. I stepped beside the police officers and locked eyes with him. He didn't bristle at me, he wasn't seeing red. I was still an ally. I'd always been an ally. Darren looked so bewildered and confused, I had to get to him. Zack didn't stop me. There was a flicker in Darren's eyes when he saw me, but he was stiff and mostly unresponsive when I hugged him. I could see the marking showing up around his cheek. He'd been hit. His collar had been ripped open and his tie was a mess. "What the fuck happened?" I asked. He stared at me for a long second, then the voice of a police officer snapped his eyes away. "Mister Sörensen?" Zack had let me by and still wasn't moving aside for the two men in uniform. I didn't know why. I guess it was something primal. He'd spent the first 16 years of his life thinking police were the enemy. He was completely fixed in that instinctual fight-mode. "Sir," one of them said. "Stand down." "Zack," I said. Amelia was there, and I think she was the only one who could snap him out of it. I watched his posture melting at her touch, the person coming back behind those eyes, not just a mind controlling muscle and sinew. And then there was the slight tremble, adrenaline draining from his blood. What have you done, Zack? One of the officers managed to step a bit closer. "Mister Sörensen," he repeated. "The other three fled the premises?" "Yes." "And this one was just... 'apprehended', by your colleague here." "Yes." I looked at the body. Not dead, right? The officer puffed his cheeks then blew it out, looking a little overwhelmed. He gave Zack a look which was both nervous and angry. "Your name, sir?" "Zack Keane." "Mister Keane, you're going to have to come with us." "What?" someone shouted from the clusters of people. "They attacked him! You can't arrest him!" The officer tried to ignore it, reaching for his belt. The second one covered him, stopping Harry from lunging forwards. "Until we have some statements this is aggravated assault from every side." There was murmuring, getting louder. Darren gathered his composure, stepping forward and addressing the crowd like the company boss he was. "Will you clear out? I need room to fucking breathe." The throng reduced in intensity a little, but people were still going to watch the whole thing. Zack was staring down the officer. I saw Amelia's panicking eyes, but she was keeping herself surprisingly steady. Everyone was thinking it. Was Zack going to resist arrest? No. He didn't object. He held his wrists out and the officer cuffed him. Damn it. What the fuck was happening? Shouldn't they be arresting Darren, too? It felt like they were only doing this because Zack had behaved so hostile towards them. I wanted to do something. I just had to stand there and watch them take him away? "Is this necessary?" Darren asked. The officer gave him a look. "Procedure." His colleague touched at his shoulder and spoke in a low tone, but I could still hear it. "Tell the boys to send an ambulance. Don't know what state this bloke is in." The first nodded and stepped away, speaking into his radio. He was trying to keep his voice low too, and the most interesting snippet I heard was 'men in suits punching the shit out of each other'. When it was over he crouched down and put the unconscious man into a recovery position. The second was holding Zack's arm and starting to tug him. "Are you going to give me trouble, sir?" "No." What a growl. He looked over his shoulder and locked eyes with Darren. "Call Jackson." Amelia was increasingly panicked. "Tyler, please. Pick up David." She dashed after the two officers taking away her husband. They just left the unconscious man where he was. There was a pause of silence, and when I looked around at Darren's face again, it scared me. He was glaring at the shattered crowd of his employees. Then he roared. "Who the fuck called the police?!" Shit. I'd never heard him shout. Not like this. It could pierce every wall and floor of the complex. Nobody spoke up. There was a deathly silence and shocked faces. "Get out," Darren snapped. "All of you. Go." He shoved his way through the dispersing crowd and I trailed him. We passed the open door of the room where the fight must have started, before spilling into the corridor. There were chairs on the floor, an overturned table, and drips of blood everywhere. Darren slammed his office's door into the wall when he opened it. I shut it a little timidly. "Darren?" He was pulling his phone from his pocket, but turned and reached to me. I flinched, his expression flickered. He gently touched his hand to my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb, then whoever he was calling picked up. "Jackson." I could faintly hear the voice coming through it. "Mister Sörensen?" "I need you to come over here. Something's happened." "What?" "Police have already turned up and taken away Zack." "What the fuck did he do?" The voice was hoarse and piercing. "He protected me." There was a pause. "What's happened?" "Been attacked by four men. I need you here." "Shit. Darren, I'll be an hour. Are you safe? You've got trusted company?" "Yes." "Where are the men now?" "Three got away, Zack knocked one unconscious. He's laying in the corridor right now, an ambulance and more police are undoubtedly on the way." "You can't keep him there until I arrive?" "No. I can't interfere with the police." "Do not leave that complex. Stay right where you are. Get your security looking for the men who got away." "Yes." "I'll be there as soon as I can." He hung up and Darren stood there for a second, staring down at his phone's screen. Holy fucking shit, I had no idea what was going on. Was this all as dangerous as it seemed? I wrapped my arms around Darren and he leant into me, burying his head in my shoulder. "Please tell me what happened." He pulled back and sat down in his chair. "Hold on." He punched some numbers into the phone on his desk, calling the reception. "Melanie. The three men you saw running out front... Yes.... Yes. No. Keep them at the doors." He hung up and buried his forehead into his hand. I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. The bruising on his face was coming up even worse. It was dawning on me that he had just been in a violent situation, and it was hurting. I hadn't been there. "Darren." He looked up. "We were having a meeting," he started. "It was completely normal, but, Zack sniffed them out. You know how he is. They couldn't answer the right questions and they were giving off bad vibes. At one point he asked too much and they started getting aggressive. I was going to call for security but Zack just... damn it." "What?" "He got aggressive back. And he asked them why he shouldn't just call the police right there. They tried to leave and he blocked the door. So they attacked us." I leant across the desk and touched at the bruise on his cheek. "I guess this was your second fist fight, huh?" "I barely did shit. Zack just... he took on all four of them. I've never seen anything like it." "Nobody fucks with Zack." He leant back in his chair and let out a shuddering sigh. "Hey," I said. "You're okay." "Yeah. Just... shaken." "Who's this Jackson?" "My family's privately hired investigator. The one who's been managing the case on my father and cousin all this time." I wanted to talk about it, but I couldn't. I didn't want to discuss how the life of the man I loved might be in danger. Maybe it was all going to prove some huge, unrelated over-reaction and nothing would come out of it, but I was so tense, and I was trying not to be, for his sake. I waited with him in his office while that hour passed. We were silent for a lot of it. Some more police came in with Harry, asked some brief questions, then were gone again. Darren folded his arms on the desk and put his head down. I'm pretty sure he was asleep when the phone rang; reception telling him that a certain Mister Jackson was here to see him. "Send him up," Darren said, and thudded it back into the receiver. It seemed a ridiculously long wait again. I wondered if those men were hiding somewhere and ambushed Jackson before he made it. No, don't be stupid. The door opened and this private investigator let himself in. His eyebrows made lines in his forehead as they rose, looking at Darren with his blackened eye. "You took a swing." He had a hoarse smoker's voice, and I could smell the smoke on his clothes as soon as he walked into the room. He looked generically middle-aged with hair that was starting to grey, wrinkles around his eyes. At least he looked like someone who knew what they were doing. He stepped towards me and held out a hand. "Jackson." "Tyler," I replied, shaking it. "Andrews?" I frowned. "Yes." "Work in the labs with Amelia Keane?" What I was wearing should've made that obvious enough, but I still frowned more. "Yes." "Don't look so alarmed. I know nearly everything about Sörensen's business and his employees." His gaze switched to Darren. "Why is he your trusted company?" "Because he's my partner, Jackson." "What, like-" The realisation clicked on his face like a light bulb. "Oh." His eyebrow rose. "That explains a lot." It's Who You Know Ch. 05 Darren scowled back. "Stop your grumpy shit and tell me what the fuck happened." Darren explained the meeting again, and what had happened when the police turned up. Jackson took it in without batting an eyelid. All in a day's work, right? "Aggravated assault? And it was self defence?" "Yes." "We're gonna get him out of this a breeze." "Can you call up the department and make it fast?" "Yes. And this unconscious man?" "Long gone." "You didn't get his wallet for me or anything?" "No. For fuck sake, Jackson." "I bet he's going to wake with amnesia and not tell me anything useful." Darren let out a long sigh. "I suppose you can just stick needles under his fingernails and have him miraculously remember." "Hey, now." "I have information on them. It's all yours. You'll get your names. They even had to sign in at reception when they arrived." "They could have given everything fake. Don't worry, I can make some calls and get myself an audience with this man. Zack's made this easy for me." "Be warned that he willingly stayed behind so the others could escape." "How very noble. Don't worry, they always talk." Holy shit. What was I listening to? Was Jackson really a private investigator and not just some shady criminal? They sounded partly sarcastic with each other, but still. I was in a movie. I was in a fucking movie and I was going to wake up from a really weird dream very soon. I had an escape to clear my head, because of the time. "Darren, I need to go pick up David." He looked at me for a split second with eyes that begged me not to go, but he nodded. "You'll be okay?" I asked. "Don't worry," Jackson said. "Your boyfriend is very safe with me." He leant his arms on the desk and studied Darren. "We should get you out of here, get you back to yours while I make some calls." I gave Darren another hug, not giving a damn about the scrutinising eyes of Jackson, then headed for the door. "Tyler. This stays zipped." I looked around. "Not a word to anybody, anywhere," Jackson continued. "What do I say when I'm asked questions? I'm management." "Somebody started a fight on Zack. That is all." His eyes were sharp. The creases of his frown were intimidating. He didn't feel like a man I would get on with under any normal circumstances. I left with my head spinning. * I was late to the school. He was still at school, right? Not some daycare? His summer holidays hadn't started yet? At least I missed the mums' 4-by-4's bad traffic. Damn it, where would David be? He wasn't waiting in the playground, there was hardly anybody around anymore. They must have taken him inside into some after-school club. I went in to the reception and tried to explain the situation. I felt shifty as fuck. I wasn't even a blood relative, were they going to hand this child over to me? Bet they wouldn't think twice if I was a woman. Luckily, they had my name and number down somewhere as an emergency contact to prove I was legitimate. The lady behind the glass never said anything to suggest that she was questioning it, but I watched her eyes looking through her computer screen. "We tried ringing his mother," she said. "Her phone was off. Is everything all right?" "Yes, yes. Just a hectic day. Things getting a bit muddled." A teacher brought David in, who ran over and hugged my knee, gabbling away in excitement. I crouched down to answer his chatter. "Where's Mum?" he asked. "She has to stay at work with Dad." The receptionist gave me one of those smiles that women often give to men who're being cute with children, then I took my leave. David rushed out the door ahead of me. He was one of those kids who never wanted to hold your hand. He didn't want you to tie his shoelaces, he didn't want you to help him put on his blazer, he didn't want you to carry his bags for him. He had to do everything himself. He was also one of those kids who liked running off ahead and nearly gave me heart attacks. "Kid!" I barked. He charged blindly into the carpark with cars moving around. For fuck sake. He found my Camaro in an instant then came charging back to me, wanting my keys to unlock it. Sitting inside with him doing his own seatbelt, I realised I didn't know what to do next. I had the kid. Now what? I didn't have a key to Zack and Amelia's house on me. Were they still at the police station? I really wanted to check up on Darren. I pulled out my phone and started texting him. David was watching me quietly. The one thing I knew about kids was that they weren't as stupid as people thought. He was perfectly aware that things were unusual today, and I hoped he wasn't picking up on too many vibes from me. I had childhood memories of adults holding conversations around me which they thought I couldn't understand. I had understood just fine. "You're at home with Jackson?" I texted Darren. "Yes." "Can I come around with David?" "Yes." I looked down into David's big green eyes. "Kid. You want to go around Uncle Darren's?" He beamed, and looked at me with surprise. "You know Uncle Darren?!" "Yeah." He sat buzzing in his seat the whole drive. A little damn Amelia. So much energy. I explained to him how I knew Uncle Darren now, because I had started working at the same place as Mum and Dad. He was grinning ear to ear as I pulled up by the gates of the house. I leant out my window to enter the code on the number pad. Jackson's car was parked beside the Lamborghini. A suave black saloon that couldn't have been more of a cliche for a man like him. David was better behaved when we got out and didn't go charging off ahead for once. Lucky, too, because as we approached the front door I saw it had already been opened and left ajar for us - the moment we stepped inside David tried to run off into the lounge, towards the voices. "Hey, kid!" I barked again. "Uncle Darren's busy talking with someone. You can see him in a bit." He frowned at me, but didn't protest. I wasn't sure if he was actually supposed to be seeing a black-eyed Uncle Darren at all, but what the hell. There was no way I was letting him within earshot of anything Jackson said. He followed me around the other side of the house. I let out Amanda, then took both of them into the gardens to play. That dog was a life saver. I don't think anything else could have kept David entertained for so long and without question. It actually took my mind off things for a little while too. At some point my phone vibrated with a text from Darren. "You can bring him inside now. It's okay." "Your face?" "Meh." Wow. 'Meh'. Who were you and what had you done with Darren? David bounded into the lounge beside Amanda. It both amused and disappointed me to see him behave a little more timid around Darren. There was no excited bundling and babbling like he did with me. He stood there a little shyly until Darren said hello. I wasn't sure if it was the black eye, or if this was normal. Maybe it was also Jackson's presence. The difference was amplified when I sat down on the sofa beside Darren, and the kid jumped straight on me, trying to climb onto my lap. Knee in my balls like always. "Doesn't he look like his parents?" Jackson said. "Holy-" He cut himself off. David was uneasy. He pressed into my chest and gave Jackson an appraising look I was certain he'd learnt from Zack. I almost laughed. You don't expect to see that from a 5 year old. "Who're you?" "I'm a friend of your Uncle Darren." David looked around at Darren. "What happened to your eye? Are you hurt?" "Yes," Darren said bluntly. "That's why Tyler's here to look after me." That seemed to work. He shifted more comfortably on my lap and I tousled his hair. "Anyways," Jackson said. "I'm off. I'll call you later." With him gone, David clambered off me and moved across the sofa, curiously studying Darren. His little voice piped into usual chatter, Darren smiled and returned it. With the kid distracted I went into the kitchen to call Amelia, praying her phone was on and that she would pick up. Yes. She did. "Oh, Tyler," she started. "What's going on there?" "Do you have David?" "Yeah, I got him, and we're round Darren's." "How is Darren?" "He's fine. Jackson just left here, I think he's coming to you. What's going on?" "They want to keep Zack in overnight. It's ridiculous. They want me gone but I'm not going anywhere. I don't know what Jackson can do, but I hope he can do something." "Do you actually know what happened?" "Yes, I was right here as Zack told the police everything." She sighed. "Are you staying there tonight? Can you keep David with you?" "Don't think it'll be a problem." "Put me on speaker and let me talk to him." I took the phone into the lounge and did so, and the kid looked visibly comforted to hear his mother's voice after the strange day he was having. "David, honey, you're being good for Uncle Darren aren't you? No running in his house." He giggled sheepishly. "Yes..." "Would you like to sleep over there with Uncle Tyler?" "Aren't you coming home?" "Yes but me and Daddy are going to be very late. You'll have to be in bed by the time we're home." "Okay." "Be a good boy sweetie. Love you!" So I ended up cooking for both Darren and David. Then we sat with him between us on the sofa, watching nature documentaries which were his favourite thing in the world. He especially loved anything to do with the Amazon Rainforest. It was a strange evening of us both being tense and distracted and trying to put on a normal face for the kid. His chatter quietened and he started falling asleep against my side around 9pm. I nudged him and stroked his hair. "Hey, kid. Shouldn't you go to bed?" Getting him to go to bed any time I babysat in his own house could be a performance. He would appear to do as he was told, but he'd sneak out and you'd find him somewhere random 10 minutes later. "I'm not tired yet," he said, blinking bleary-eyed at the TV. "But you get the room with the giant mirror," Darren said. He bolted up and started to swing off the sofa, nearly landing on a sleeping Amanda. "Why don't you go upstairs and get ready for bed," I said. "I don't have my pyjamas." "No, but you know what grown-ups do? They sleep in their boxer shorts." He grinned and disappeared. I went into the kitchen with Darren on my tail. "It won't kill him to not brush his teeth for one night, will it?" I asked. "Can always give him some gum," Darren replied. "Gum? As a substitute for brushing teeth? We're the worst fucking parents." He chuckled. Jesus Christ, I think it was the first happy sound I'd heard from him all day. I turned to him and his hand slid around my neck, pulling me into a kiss. I pressed into him, gripped his waist. We finally had a moment alone. "Uncle Tyler?" Shit. I pulled back in an instant, but David had seen. Staring with that confused kid-face. "Do you love each other?" What the fuck was I supposed to do? "Yes," Darren said, as bluntly as ever. "But you're boys." David's eyes went a little wider. "Are you gonna get married?!" Oh shit. No, no. This wasn't supposed to be happening. Were Zack and Amelia going to kill me? I had no idea how much David knew about things like this, but he was just too young. "Maybe," Darren continued. "Kid," I said, finally finding my voice. "You don't look ready for bed." "But I'm thirsty." "No, you know what Mum said, you can't have milk before bed anymore because it gives you bad dreams." No, don't pull the cute face. For fuck sake. This wasn't even my kid and he could make my heart melt. "Okay, fine. Just tonight, because it's a special night." He beamed and ran upstairs. I took a glass up, kneeling beside the bed and trying to encourage him to drink faster while he just kept talking. "Do I have to go to school tomorrow?" "Yes." He frowned at me over the rim of the glass. "Is Mum going to pick me up?" "Yes." "Is Mum okay? Is she hurt like Uncle Darren?" "No, Mum's fine." Zack wasn't though, shit. What did he look like now? I took the empty glass, tucked David in, and kissed his forehead. "You call me if you need me." "Okay." I headed for the door. "Uncle Tyler?" "Yes?" "Are you okay?" Jesus Christ, this kid. "I'm fine." I flashed him a grin before I switched off the light. "Sleep tight." Darren wasn't downstairs anymore. I found him in his room, laying on his back, hands over his face as if to block out the light. "Jackson still hasn't called," he said as he heard me coming in. "Which means?" "He's not been successful yet in whatever he's doing." "Still some hours until the evening's over. Do you wanna sleep? You look exhausted. Give me your phone, I'll take it if he calls." Darren gave it a feeble toss across the bed. "Don't answer a single other number unless it's Lia or Zack." "Who might call?" "Anybody and everybody if any word about this is already getting around." He started to unbutton his shirt and I watched each item of clothing come off. Black-eyed and tense with stress, he was still gorgeous. I clambered across the bed to rub his back and he rolled onto his stomach. "You know how to open the gate from inside if Jackson comes again?" he asked. "Yeah." His body was relaxing beneath my hands, and I leant down to kiss between his shoulder blades. "If you want some loving, if it'll help you feel better, let me know." He let out a deep, contented sigh, but a faint voice was calling my name elsewhere in the house. "Uncle Tyler!" I swore and Darren bounced with a chuckle. "Not tonight, Ty. You're too loud anyways and I don't want David hearing that." I kissed down his spine, then went to see what the kid wanted. --- Darren My alarm went off, but I wasn't sure if I was getting up and going in. Tyler's body pressed against mine and I rolled over to bury my head in his chest. The stress and anxiety was filling me the moment I was awake. I only felt as though I'd shut my eyes for a few minutes, and the whole night had passed. We laid there for a while before Tyler started to stir. "I gotta take David to school." "Yeah. Did Jackson call?" "No." "Fucking hell." He kissed me on the bruised side of my face. It hurt to the touch. How bad did I look? I heard David's squeaky voice, sounds around the house, the front door shutting. Tyler's car engine growling outside. I must have dozed off again because I was awoken by a call. Finally. "What's happening?" I asked Jackson. "They kept Zack in overnight, couldn't stop that." He sounded even gruffer than normal. "I finally convinced Amelia to go home and she let me crash on her couch. I need you to come in and make a statement, and we can probably get Zack out. I want to get him to hospital, he took a battering, he's not all right but he's hiding it." "You're posing as his lawyer?" "Posing? I'm qualified. Little mister unconscious dickhead woke up and wants to press charges, so Zack is pressing charges back. Load of bollocks. I can probably talk to the man this afternoon and convince him to drop the charges so Zack can drop his, and then this will all blow over." I rubbed my brow and checked the time. 09:40. Not as late as I thought. "Do you need me to come pick you up or can your boyfriend bring you?" he asked. "I wish you wouldn't say that like you're taking the piss." "I'm sorry, I just think it's kinda cute." "Don't." "Okay." "I think he can bring me. I'll call you back if not." I didn't actually know where Tyler was, but when I went downstairs I could already smell something cooking. I still wasn't quite used to this - he had my keys, knew the security codes, could come and go as he pleased, in and out of my private space as he pleased. Normally it'd grate on me, feel like intrusion that I hadn't welcomed, but I didn't mind. I quite liked it. "You're too good to me," I said, watching him toss some scrambled egg over the stove. His head spun to me in surprise. "You were supposed to stay in bed. I was gonna bring this up." "Jackson called. Can you take me down to the station?" "Sure." He flashed me a grin. "Eat this fast." I felt so incredibly drained during the drive. I was trying to conjure up everything to say in my statement, organising it in my head, hoping it would align with whatever Zack had told them. I needed to get Zack out of there. The raw loyalty of the man was stunning. He had put himself in the way of nearly every punch thrown at me. He had been knocked to the floor, thrown and battered around, and he had returned it onto his assailants just as much. There were only chaotic flashes of the fight in my mind and I almost couldn't remember what had happened. Perhaps Zack's ferocious violence should have scared me, but I felt a strangely sick satisfaction that a man like him was on my side. Now I needed to do my part and pick up the pieces. Jackson was waiting outside, grimacing with every inhale on his cigarette. He looked like shit. I think everyone looked like shit. Amelia was sitting on a bench inside, hair tied up in a messy ponytail, dark bags beneath her eyes. She leapt up and seized me in a hug when I entered. Police officers accosted me and I was led away to a room to give my statement. Lots of Mr. Sörensen this, Mr. Sörensen that. Typical etiquette that they gave to a man in a suit, only marred by my glaring black eye. After I had told them about the fight, they started asking about Jackson, and if I could give them a description of the three men who had escaped. I offered them CCTV footage from my company's complex. It stopped the questions fast. After a fifteen minute wait on the bench with Amelia and Tyler, whatever I said and whatever Jackson was doing, worked in getting Zack out. They brought him in to us and I inhaled sharply, struck with sudden guilt. He looked a state, still in the same bloody clothes from yesterday, bruises on his face and busted knuckles. He wasn't walking quite right. He winced when Amelia held him. His breaths were shallow and there was a stoop to his posture. "Lia," Jackson said. "Get him to hospital." "Jackson,"' Zack growled. "Your rib is fucking broken. You're not going anywhere else." Tyler went livid. He started on the officers, voice getting louder and higher as his anger grew, erupting from his throat in an incredulous tone. "What the fuck is your problem? You kept him in a cell overnight when he's in this state?! How are you allowed to get away with this shit?!" Jackson watched him with raised brows, then looked at me as if I was supposed to do something about it. What a fucking mess. I nearly had to drag Tyler out the door while he shouted and swore. Amelia tried to assist Zack's staggering gait but he wouldn't accept any of it. He opened the passenger door to her car and sat inside with a loud snarl of pain. Tyler kicked over a bin and stormed off to his own car. Jackson pinched the bridge of his nose at the scattered litter, then crossed his arms and stared at me. "Your boy's got a bit of a temper." "Zack's his best friend," I replied. "I see. Shared history, then?" "Yes." I think Jackson shook his head at me as I went over to Tyler's car. I couldn't be bothered with it, didn't want his judgements. Tyler and I needed to make a show at work that afternoon, try to sort some things out. I already had messages from Harry, asking where the four of us were, how bad things were, what was going on. * The worst was yet to come. Jackson needed to do his job, investigating the entire ordeal and finding out if it was in any way linked to the lead he had been chasing up. He was a man who could act so open and friendly with you, yet keep every inch of information you could ever want to know entirely out of grasp. Sometimes I felt that he absolutely despised myself and my family, and only worked for us because we paid him so handsomely. He got a nice chunk from Amelia, too, for wiping Zack's slate clean so quickly and effectively. It's Who You Know Ch. 05 He was the most useful man I'd ever known. I think he was well worth the money. I was pelted with calls from my uncle, wanting to know exactly what had happened, with strangely mixed reactions. In some ways he was angry at me, as if it was my fault, in some ways he was simply relieved that I wasn't harmed any worse. I also had a bone-chilling call from an unnerved Marcus, asking me if I thought we were in danger. I didn't know. A part of me was terrified of what Jackson might eventually find, and I carried it around with me like a stone in my stomach. Weighing everything down. Making me sick. I felt so guilty of how my mood affected everything. I kept snapping at people where I normally wouldn't. I was struggling with my own duties and repeatedly found myself sitting in my office, doing nothing for hours on end. And Tyler. Oh God, Tyler. He was so worried about me. He just wanted to see me smile, and laugh, and return to somewhat of the normal state I had been before. Sometimes I just couldn't manage it. I wanted him there, I needed him, but at times I just needed the silence. He wasn't good at silence. It unsettled him so much. The look in his eyes could hurt me. He wanted to do something, but there was nothing he could do. For a few nights, he managed to take me away from it. His hands on my body, his breath in my ear, a closed world in my bedroom where nothing had to matter but me and him. I wanted life to be that simple; the taste of him, the feel of him. It could leave me feeling so satisfied, yet afterwards I continued to lay there awake, listening to his rhythmic breathing, wondering how I could feel too tired to sleep. As the days went on with no word from Jackson, I couldn't even have sex. I had no energy for anything other than auto-pilot. What the fuck was wrong with me? All these feelings simmering below the surface, but never coming out. Where was this breakdown coming from? I didn't know I was so brittle. I had a nightmare. God, I had degraded this far. Back to the crashing nightmares. Seeing that tree, imagination creating the feeling of impact, seeing my own terrified face through Jamie's eyes. I woke with a start and stumbled around my room, desperately trying to find the light, the sweat all over my body feeling like blood. Tyler's hands gripped me, stopped me, then I broke down into a panic attack. I had barely got my breathing under control when I started to cry. I sobbed pitifully into his shoulder, a crumpled heap on the floor. He said nothing. I felt like I was falling into a black hole, one I had spent years climbing out of. I was supposed to move forwards in life, I was going backwards. We were still in these delicate, early stages of the relationship and he was already seeing the worst of me. I was going to push him away. He was going to wonder what the fuck he had got himself into. People just don't want to be involved with emotional wrecks. I thought I had stopped, but there were still crying noises. It was him. He squeezed me and trembled. "Why can't I help you?" he said, voice tight and strained. It hurt so much. "I'm scared." I wasn't just admitting it to him, but to myself. "I'm here." He sniffed. "You're not alone, you saw what Zack would do to protect you. I'd do the same." "I don't want anyone getting hurt because of me." I couldn't stand the thought of something happening to Tyler. "People love you. I love you. We're here, okay? We're here." Amelia, Zack, Tyler. They were my family more than my own family had ever been. How could that realisation hurt so much? Tyler stayed holding me on the floor until my whole body was stiff. He sniffed a few times, I wiped my eyes. "You're gonna start feeling better once you actually get some sleep," he said. "I'm trying." "Try harder. Go for runs, punch things, stop bottling it." "I don't know how." "They raised you not to feel, didn't they? Every little thing since you were a kid. Stiff upper lip, huh." His breath was on my lips as he leant closer. "You have to stop it. You have to learn how to let go." My heart was starting to race, after feeling dead for so many days. He kissed me, softly, then a little rougher and pushed me down on the floor. "You can't control everything, stop thinking you can." His body was like a burning heat against mine. "Trust Jackson to do his job. Stop worrying about it." I could barely keep my mouth off his to let him speak. He pinned my arms down and I didn't have the strength to fight it. He kissed across my cheek to my ear. He ground against me. "Don't leave me," I gasped. "I'm not going anywhere." It was a chaotic mess of grinding and kissing, his tongue stroking mine, his weight holding me down. There was no penetration, there was more stimulation on a mental level. He was forcing me to submit. This part of me kept fighting it and he wouldn't give up. There was a side to him that I hadn't seen. With a shuddering gasp I felt my body give in, wanting more, and the orgasm struck almost simultaneously. He came moments later, moaning in shock, as though he hadn't expected the reaction from me. We laid there, panting, fluids smeared between our stomachs and chests, then he started to lift my exhausted frame to the bed. I barely managed to mumble that I loved him before I was asleep. * Zack came into work after a week, and having him there was like having my sanity back. He wasn't perfect, and he was getting by on painkillers, but he never let anything get him down. He was a fighter inside and out. People had literally seen that. He almost had a hero's welcome. He had proved himself nothing short of a badass and he was the talk all over the company. He received a lot of inane questions; if he was a boxer, if he was a black-belt; how had he learnt to fight like that? He scowled through all of it and people quickly stopped. I tried to tell him how grateful I was for how he had defended me, but he was almost entirely dismissive. "I'm sorry it even happened at all," he said. "It's my fault it did. You think I was gonna let you take the hits when I was the one who wound them up?" "How's the rib?" "Hurts. I can't do anything strenuous. I'm not even allowed to have sex, doctor's orders." He grinned. "Hardest part has been trying to explain to David why he can't jump on me on the sofa." I smiled down at the desk. I could see what Tyler meant, how this man seemed to walk away from everything stronger than ever. I didn't understand how he did it either. "He's told me about five times that you and Tyler are getting married," he continued. "Sorry. He saw us kiss." "I don't care. He's gonna grow up knowing there's people like you in this world and he's not gonna be a twat about it." That meant a lot to me, especially after spending a lifetime around someone like my uncle. "Any word from Jackson?" he asked. "Not yet." "If those men were trouble I hope they'll give me a couple weeks to get better for round two." "God, Zack, don't." He chuckled, but winced and sucked in a sharp breath. "I'll just be doing some office work, catch up on all these emails." "Take it easy." * Jackson finally called. "Hello, Mister Sörensen. Keeping well?" I could swear he was trying to wind me up. "I've been a nervous wreck waiting for you to call." "Hey, now. Keep those feelings for your boyfriend." If only he knew. There was a lot of background noise, wherever he was. "Can you go somewhere quieter? Where are you?" "That is the sound of men chuckling in French. Hon-hon-hon." "You're in France?" "This is where the search has led me, yes." There was one of his annoying blows into the phone, probably exhaling smoke. "Shall I cut to the chase?" "Yes." "Found no direct links so far. I think this is an isolated incident. Regardless, I just got off the phone to your uncle, and I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him. I want you to keep it safe for a few weeks. Do not go out anywhere unnecessarily. Keep yourself in trusted company at all times." "Right." "Your boyfriend, he's perfect. Keep him with you all the time, make him move in, I don't care. I reckon he's probably pretty savvy like Zack, but Zack has managed to incapacitate himself for a while so you need someone else watching your back." "I don't want Tyler getting hurt over anything." "I didn't say that. Just don't go alone anywhere for a while. If Tyler doesn't want to do it I'll be sending one of my guys to shadow you." "I don't like being watched." "So play it safe and there's no need for it. You go to work, you go home. Rinse and repeat." I rubbed my brow. I understood it, but it still made me sick. "I don't want to live in fear like this." "You got the money to hire a whole platoon of bodyguards if you want it." I could hear him sucking on his cigarette, the sharp exhale following that rattled in my ear. I wondered if he was trying to plant ideas in my head without making it obvious. Did he think I needed it? Why couldn't he just give me a definite yes or no answer if I was in danger or not? "How long until you're back in England?" "Few days. Got a couple colleagues covering your case while I'm here. They'll be calling you if anything pops up that you need to know." "All right." "If you're staying in a predictable routine it makes it easier for us, Darren." "And for them. I'll be attacked at work or at home. Great." "No, they'll be more likely to strike somewhere en route if your father and cousin are any pattern." I swallowed. "Thank you, Jackson. I'll do as you say." "Stay safe." All that noise disappeared into silence and I looked down at Amanda laying by my feet. I rubbed her belly and she lifted a front leg a little, soppy and drowsy. "Girl, you're supposed to be a guard dog." Her tail started to wag and I looked up to see Tyler walking in, wet and clad in his swimming trunks. "You were on the phone?" he asked. "Yes. Jackson." "What did he say?" "You have to move in and watch my back for a few weeks." He somehow managed to grin and look concerned at the same time. "Wow. Isn't that pretty much what I'm doing already?" "He also doesn't think this incident is linked to the main case." He might've looked even more relieved than I felt. Damn Jackson could never give definite answers, but this was good enough. "He wants me to live safely for a few weeks just to be sure." "What does that mean?" "Staying in a very boring routine." He perched on the sofa beside me and slung an arm around my shoulders. "I guess we can do that." "Tyler." "Hm?" "Thanks for putting up with me." "Do you know what? I've lived my whole life with other people putting up with my shit. It's about time I got to put up with someone else's." He kissed me, but I didn't really like the chlorine taste or his sticky skin. "Go shower." "You'll join me?" "Yeah." We made love that night, and it was hot and sweaty and crazy, almost like the first time I'd taken him into my bed. And yet while I held him moaning beneath me, my mind kept wandering to the night where he'd pinned me to the floor. --- It's Who You Know Ch. 06 --- Tyler Those few weeks of 'living safe' were a drag. I ran out of interesting things to cook, no matter how many recipes I googled. I didn't eat spicy food so that halved everything at least. When I was regularly bottoming in sex I just wasn't going to risk spices. Sometimes Darren could go so hard and rough I needed a few days' break anyways. Especially if he wanted me to stay tight. Jesus. We had a lot of sex. It was one of the more entertaining things to do. Zack made a speedy recovery and I wasn't surprised. I think he demanded some kind of new respect at the workplace, like he could just push into a queue at the canteen if he wanted. He was like a kid who everyone avoided on the playground now. I kept forgetting that him being a hardnut wasn't normal to everyone else. Amelia was impatiently waiting for his rib to get better. After the initial horror and worry was over, it dawned on her that her man had taken on four guys, and essentially won. Her husband was a fucking stud. One lunchtime when he had that goofy grin on his face and she just raised an eyebrow at him, I knew she had finally given him the loving she thought he deserved. We had a legitimately finished drone in the labs, and we flew it around like kids at Christmas, trying to see how hard we could crash it until it broke. We weren't pissing around - it was a real test. Maybe just a very fun one. It felt good to report up to Darren's office with the news, and invite him to see it. People were clueing in to our relationship. I'd never felt so proud of something in my life. I wanted everyone to know I was with this man. He was mine. His hitching chuckle that made his chest bounce. His beautifully trimmed bearded jaw, his perfectly straight hair. How he looked so dapper in a suit. Nobody knew what he looked like beneath those clothes, but I did, and it was amazing. He got out of my car every morning, and he got into it every night. Summer was drawing to its end. There'd slowly be less mosquitoes, that September flux of craneflies buzzing everywhere instead. The year was going surprisingly fast, and yet it felt like so much had happened. There were still some tensions beneath the surface Darren, but he seemed to get over his rough patch and relax again. I couldn't judge him for it. I didn't know how anyone managed to live with a case like that hanging over their lives. He only seemed to be truly happy whenever he forgot about it. We didn't hear from Jackson in weeks, so life went on. At some point I almost couldn't remember why we were 'living safe' in the first place. We first broke it when we went out to eat with Zack and Amelia. A second time when Darren was invited out, surprisingly, by Marcus. Who was also supposed to be 'living safe'. They were hilariously awkward when they talked. It was like Marcus was trying really hard to accept that his cousin was gay, but couldn't. He kept looking between us, as if his brain was short-circuiting every few minutes. His wife, Kate, was much more laid back and friendly, and we sat trying not to laugh when Darren and Marcus kicked off into a petty argument, sounding for all they were worth, like a pair of 12 year olds. "Have you ever gotten along with him?" I asked once we were driving home. "Nope." "He seems a bit of a twat." "Youngest spoilt brat syndrome, all his life." "Do you actually get along with anyone in your family?" He sighed. "I used to get along great with Jamie. Before the accident." "Sorry." "What, I can never talk about it?" It was good to see him smile. His wakings from the nightmares about it had chilled me to the bone. "Andy was always so much older, like an adult when I was still a child. I saw him a lot, since he was running business with my father, but he was just like another authority figure. Never had problems with Adrianne, even if she was a right bitch when she was fourteen or so. I just can't do it with Marcus, however much I try. We've never gotten along." "How come you were an only child when your aunt popped out so many?" "Because my mother died giving birth to me." "... Holy shit. I am so sorry." Why the fuck hadn't I known this sooner? "Why? I never knew her." "Jesus Christ, Darren." I had never heard his mother mentioned in conversation, ever, yet hearing that she was dead was still a shock. "I don't have a lucky family, you know this." He grinned at me. "When am I gonna meet yours?" "Oh, erm." I hadn't really given thought to that. "You probably don't want to." "Why?" "My sister still lives like a chav, my dad is a grumpy git, and my mum's not right in the head." "And you think that's worse than mine? You think anything can be worse than my uncle?" "You're gonna hear how many 'likes' and 'innits' my sis fits into a single sentence and want to rip your ears off." He chuckled. "Big loop earrings?" "Yup." "Hair scraped back into a ponytail like a facelift?" "Yup. She's a walking stereotype. I dare you to decipher one of her texts." "Oh God, let me see." I pulled out my phone and brought up one of the conversations I'd recently had with my sister, handing it over to him. I got to enjoy his laughter pretty much the rest of the drive home. "And she's twenty-five?" "The thing is, to be fair, I don't think I was much better two years ago, either." "It's comedy gold, your perfect grammar against this." "To give it to my family, I think we're pretty hilarious at Christmas dinners and shit." * We finally decided to go out, the two of us. It was the 1st of September. I was refilling my petrol tank when Darren suggested it, leaning out the window. Diana, that friend who owned the restaurant where we'd met, was wanting to know where the hell he'd been. I had no objections. My whole relationship with Darren was associated with the hot and sweaty summer of that year. I was curious how it would be once the weather got colder. I hadn't seen his winter wardrobe yet, but I'd got some glimpses of leather jackets that made me excited. Why was this man so damn suave and attractive? He looked exactly like he'd done on our first date - loosened work clothes, black waistcoat over his shirt, hugging his body. We sat at the same window table. I was suffering so much nostalgia, and even Tracy came over to serve us. "So," she teased. "Are you getting married?" Darren sighed and rubbed his temple. "Tracy." Nights out like this, with just the two of us, had been the norm for so long. Now it felt like something special and rare. Darren did his typical routine of switching his phone off and leaving it face down on the table. I had a WhatsApp group from work blinking away on mine, too, so I followed suit. His flirting looks, his legs rubbing against mine beneath the table. I was getting all fired up again, yet at the same time felt so familiar with him, that it was this warm glow in my heart. We were there for a couple of hours, well into dark. A part of me was content to stay longer, a part of me couldn't wait to get home. Maybe we could just do something in the backseat of my car again, in loving memory. It might sound strange, but I felt like my car was an important part of our relationship. It and Darren just went together in my head. He owned that passenger seat. He had been watching me drive quite closely recently, and I wondered if he wanted to try behind the wheel again. Preferably not hitting over a hundred miles an hour and drifting turns. I really wanted to help him get over his car anxiety. As much as I loved how he relied on me for lifts, I knew it'd be good for him to get some of that independence back, where he could take himself the places he needed to go. We cuddled on the sofa-seat while he finished his wine, but I bit his ear before he reached for his phone. "Should we go?" He chuckled, squeezed his arm around my waist, then started to get to his feet. --- Darren Tyler's fingers were locked with mine, swinging my arm slightly as we walked around to the carpark. He was so cheerful. I pulled my phone from my pocket with my spare hand, bright screen almost hurting my eyes in the dark as it switched on. I knew he wanted the night to be just us, but I couldn't help the compulsive urge to check it. "Hey!" a voice barked. The screen was showing some missed calls and voicemails, but I looked up. There were two cars parked up on the curb on the opposite side of the road. Someone was walking away from them, and towards us. Tyler had stopped, I bumped into his shoulder. He was frowning. "Yeah," the man said. "You." Me, or Tyler? What was going on? Three more men were following over from the cars. I knew something was wrong, but my mind had blanked. At first I genuinely thought it was some kind of hate attack. Being approached on the street like this, while the only obvious thing I was doing wrong, was being affectionate in public with another man. Tyler's fingers slipped away from mine. "What do you want?" "The least you can do is stop 'n talk," the man replied. He had this thick east London accent. "You looked so nice and cosy in there. Been waiting out here for hours." I still hadn't figured out which one of us he was trying to address. Were these people Tyler knew? Or was he trying to talk to me? My heart was thudding against my ribs and I looked down at my phone, as if I could somehow act casual and nothing would happen. Three voicemails were from Jackson. "Mister Sörensen?" the man asked. He said it so... mockingly. Not quite pronouncing it right. I was starting to shake. "Darren, is it?" The other three were circling. I saw Tyler's hackles rising. Silent threats were starting to hang in the air and I realised what it was. The phone. Put it away. Slowly. Easy. "Do I know you?" I managed, barely keeping my voice steady. "I doubt it. But we knew your father. Well, that's a bit of a stretch. Our boss knew your father. We've been trying t' reach you for a while." This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be real. "We tried making contact before, but y' had some bear of a bodyguard who fucked that up." It was connected? Jackson? You'd been wrong? There was a long silence where I stared into the man's eyes. He was a person. He was a person like anybody else, he had a life behind those eyes. A wife? Kids? Why was he doing this? "What do you want?" I finally asked. "To talk. We didn't want t' interrupt your lil' date. I didn't know you was a queer. It's a shame, I guess, won't be having any kids t' carry on the name." I was scared. Tyler was bristling. I knew what he was feeling - the danger in the air and the disgusting tone - but he had to hold himself together. If I could get us out of this by talking, then I would do it. "Start talking," I said. The man's eyes flashed for a moment and he took a little side-step, to put some distance from Tyler, closer to me. My mind was racing, trying to think of an escape. We just had to go back around the corner and we were at the restaurant. Around the other corner was the carpark. It wasn't exactly empty around there. In fact, someone was walking down the opposite side of the road right now, looking over, probably picking up on bad vibes. If I called for help, was anyone going to come? "Our boss wants t' meet you," the man said. "Why?" "Because you're building an empire on stuff that ain't yours, on money that ain't yours." "So this is about money? You want me to pay off my father's debts?" "No, it's more than that. He's quite impressed with you. He wants t' meet you." He took a step closer. "You ain't gonna be hurt, just come with us." He could sound so amicable. My mind desperately wanted to believe that good-natured facade, but I couldn't. "I don't trust you." "I swear on me life you ain't gonna be hurt, so long as you come nicely." "And you're gonna knock me over the head, toss me in the boot if not?" He shrugged. "Maybe if it comes t' that." "I need to know more about your 'boss'." "Nah, we ain't here t' negotiate things. Just to bring you in." There was another long silence. I was trying to think clearly. Maybe the smartest thing to do was go with them, and let Tyler get away safely so he could tell Jackson. I had no idea what would happen to me, but in that moment all I cared about was Tyler. My phone was ringing my in pocket. The vibrations were so loud and the eyes of the four men all stared at me. Why was it four men again? My gaze darted about their faces but none of them looked familiar from before. Shit, Zack, if you could be here now. My hand instinctively reached to stop the vibrations. "Don't answer it," the lead man said. I froze. There was a pause, then it started ringing again. I just knew it was Jackson. When my hand jerked again the man surged forward. "I said don't-" Tyler stepped in front of him. If I had never truly known what it looked like, when two men stared each other down before a fight, I was seeing it now. The chest-bump, the glaring, foreheads almost close enough to touch. It was like some street language that was alien to me. And yet base instincts understood it. This wasn't erupting tempers where people swung fists before thinking. They were sizing each other up, putting on a display, trying to make each other back down before it went any further. They were going through the threats, like wild animals doing their best to stop a real fight from starting, because the loser was going to die. This wasn't some light scuffle. Tyler was a little taller, but the man was bigger than him, and three more had his back. He was giving Tyler a chance to stand down. Please, Tyler. Stop. The man actually relaxed first and leant back, hooking his thumbs in his belt. I didn't like his hands going anywhere I couldn't see them. Tyler's posture didn't change. My phone was ringing a third time. "This doesn't have t' concern you," he said to Tyler. "But it does." "You know this ain't smart." "I don't care." Everybody was distracted watching Tyler. My fingers touched at the opening of my pocket... Surges, movement. Tyler swung first. It was some sledgehammer flash that nearly knocked the man to the floor. I had my phone out, thumb swiping across the screen, but a body collided with me. My head smacked against the brick wall. I was winded. Everything was a blur. I could hear Jackson's crackly, furious voice, swearing from the phone. Tyler's guttural roars as he took on three men. The man gripping my arms wasn't trying to fight me, he was trying to apprehend, drag me towards the cars. I wasn't going. I was so fucking angry. This wasn't going to happen. I fought back, he kicked me in the stomach. I had a grip on his jacket, I pulled him to the floor, I was on top of him. With all the strength in my arm, I punched him. Again and again. He struggled like his life depended on it. My hands closed around his throat, slamming his head against the concrete, my knee in his gut. His eyes were wide, terrified. Glazing. Struggles getting weaker. Was I going to kill him? Was I going to do this? Something ripped me off him, struck me in the side of the head. I tried to get up, stumbled, a body came down on top of me. I was aware that I was being hit in the face, but I couldn't feel it. Each impact just felt like it knocked more and more sense out of me. Tyler lifted the man off me, threw him down. Stamped on his stomach. Shit. What the fuck was happening? My phone... The choked man was coughing, gasping on the floor. The other wheezed, swore, got to his feet with a roar of anger. They couldn't take Tyler down. He'd gone insane. It wasn't like watching Zack. He didn't take every hit and keep going like he was made of bricks. He was so fast. Everything missed him. Water around rocks. They couldn't get a grip. Couldn't land a hit. I tried to stand but the floor was spinning. Tyler fought dirty. He didn't care about honour. He fought to incapacitate. To win. Hair pulling, kicks to the groin, headbutts on the nose. When one was on the floor he kept kicking. There were these feral noises coming from him that I'd never heard before. The knife came out and I tried to yell. It plunged into Tyler's stomach, he pulled away. It slashed across his shoulder and he kept going. The lead man staggered back from a skull-cracking headbutt. Tyler was wrestling for the knife, twisting the man's arm, his wrist. With another knee in his gut he got it. But with it in his grasp his arm swung around. "Tyler!" I screamed. Nothing would have stopped him. The blade sliced across the man's throat. It wasn't only my voice piercing the air. There was another shriek. There were people. Spectators. Tracy was shrieking. The man writhed on the floor. The other two were falling back. For a moment Tyler just stood there, drenched in blood, knife glistening in the dark. Then he threw it at one of them who ducked and yelled. His eyes were like amber fire in the street light. "Move!" I managed to get my phone from the floor. We were running for the car. I heard gunshots behind. No. No. No. Was I hit? I couldn't feel anything. I could barely breathe as I clambered into the passenger side. The engine roared to life and we were moving. Tyler was covered in wounds, clothing ripped, but he seemed oblivious. "Call Jackson!" he said. "Call Jackson!" The phone was still in the call. I held it to my ear. His voice was deadpan and tight. "Where are you." One of the cars was trying to block our way from the carpark. Tyler accelerated and smashed into it. I was nearly flung against the dashboard. I desperately scrabbled around for my seatbelt. "Darren!" Jackson's voice roared. There was another gunshot as we rolled across the pavement. The back window shattered. I was flung against the seat as Tyler accelerated again. I tried to explain to Jackson, but my mind couldn't shape words. The car was following us. Tyler ran lights, dodged other cars, fumbling with the wheel and gearstick. We couldn't stop. I knew what he was trying to do. We needed open space and this car could easily outrun them. I tried to explain to Jackson what roads we were heading towards. A person crossing in front, shining in the headlights, barely moved out of the way. I couldn't breathe. We screeched around a corner and there was another gunshot. This open stretch. The shifting gears, accelerating. I watched the car on our tail growing more and more distant in the rearview mirror. Jackson's voice was still speaking into my ear. I could barely hear it. Tyler was swooping and weaving around other cars as if he played some racing game. The seatbelt tugged at my body. People were honking at us. Nobody understood what we were running from. I thought we were loosing them. I needed to breathe. My breaths were ragged, almost whistling in my throat. The lights were suddenly shining in through Tyler's window. The second car coming in for a pincer. Everything seemed to happen so slow. The window shattered before impact. A gunshot. Tyler's eyes were wide, looking at me, a silhouette against the headlights. He was leaping out of his seat. He threw his body across me. His side of the car crunched. I felt... nothing. What could I do, but once again be a helpless victim of the raw power of physics? The car smashed into something, bounced. We were rolling. I heard nothing but the crunching metal and shattering glass. Silence in the air. Crashing back down. Our bodies were like ragdolls. Everywhere I was thrown, Tyler's body was there, cushioning me. The seatbelt felt like it was ripping into me. He was clinging to me and I clung back. We were rolling down some grassy slope. There was another hard knock and Tyler's body went limp. It's Who You Know Ch. 06 The car stopped. I took a moment to realise. All my weight was on my head and shoulders. I couldn't breathe. I fumbled to undo my seatbelt, collapsing awkwardly, trying to free my windpipe from being crushed. Glass was cutting into me. Tyler. No. He was sprawled across the car ceiling, unmoving. There was so much blood. No. No. This couldn't be happening. My body was like rubber. I couldn't breathe. I could hardly move. I had to fight this, I had to do something. I gasped, trying to suck in lungfuls of air. My hands fumbled around Tyler's head, trying to find his neck. I couldn't find a pulse. Please. Please. Tyler, please. His face was so still, like he was sleeping. More still than sleeping. There wasn't blood when sleeping. You can't die, Tyler. Please. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I felt like the insides of the car were closing in on me, crushing me. His chest was moving. He was breathing. He was alive. I didn't know how broken his body was, but I had to get him out. Something was pumping into my veins, forcing me to be calm. If whatever I did now was going to save his life, I needed to do it right. I kicked out the shattered remains of the windscreen. More glass cut into me, I didn't care. A large chunk was jutting out of my cheek, below my right eye. I could see it in my vision. When I touched it I only felt searing pain in my whole face, like I was bending my cheekbone. I pulled Tyler's body against mine, started to drag him out. Scrambling to fit beneath the car's crumpled bonnet, crawling across grass and damp earth. Was he always this heavy? Was I breathing? I was aching and hurting so much. My hand couldn't grip. My arm was giving out. I was collapsing every time I put my weight on it. When I had space to stand I could only carry him so far. I stumbled to my knees, laid him out flat in the dark. Why was there so much blood? My clothes were sticking to me. He hadn't worn a black shirt today. Breathe. Breathe. A voice was calling to me. I looked up. Some lad and his girlfriend, running across the grass towards us. People who had seen the crash. My brain couldn't process what they were saying. The lad crouched down to check Tyler's pulse. The girl was calling on her phone. I looked up towards the road, saw the second crash of the men who had hit us. A body just laying in the open. More cars that had piled up, caught up in it. So many flashing lights. Growling engines. Slamming doors as people were pulling over, getting out. Trying to see what the fuck was going on. There were already sirens in the distance. I felt like I was going to vomit. I passed out slowly - I thought I was dying. At first I couldn't move. My vision went black, but I could still hear things. Then everything... stopped. --- Tyler I woke up in the middle of an operation. It was like one of those crazy nightmares. I was covered in sheets, and the only bit of me I could see, just above my left hip, was cut open. I couldn't really move. I lifted my head slightly, blinking, trying to talk. There were tubes down my throat. Masked faces snapped around to me in alarm, hands pushed me down. Then something happened to knock me out. --- Darren "You fucking idiot," Jackson said. "The one time, the one fucking time, and you have your phone off." I wasn't supposed to have visitors yet, but he'd worked his way in, as usual. I was still in a hospital bed, stitches in three places - my face, my left arm, my left leg. I'd had glass pulled out of me, and my right arm was in a sling from strained tendons. I was bruised and battered, but relatively unscathed, considering the extent of the crash. How fucking familiar. Apparently I had all the luck in my family. I was learning the full extent of the chaos that happened that night. Jackson had been to my house and seen no-one was in. My phone was off. So was Tyler's. He panicked and called up Zack. Zack had gone straight with him to find me. Apparently the restaurant was the first place he thought to check. They had been on their way the whole time. If Tyler and I had managed to stagger those men maybe five more minutes, they would have arrived. And then what? A bigger fight where both Zack and Jackson had been stabbed and shot? They had arrived at the site of the crash while Tyler and I were being hauled into ambulances. "This is a mess," Jackson continued. He leant both arms on the bed and glared at me. "Tyler killed a man." I swallowed. "And if you want to count the crash, he killed a second one." "They hit us." "Manslaughter is manslaughter." "You have to get him out of this. I don't care how much money you want. I'll pay it. Jump through whatever hoops, do whatever you have to do. Clean his slate." "There's too many witnesses. It'll be going through court, whatever I do." "Jackson. I will sell everything and shut down my company to clean his slate." He stared at me for a long moment. "Let's see if he even wakes up first." My stomach twisted. I was so angry, but too exhausted to feel it. I was grateful to have my life, but it seemed to mean nothing if Tyler couldn't keep his. "Jackson, how long did you know they were tracking me?" He didn't reply. This was what made me so angry. He couldn't blame us for fucking up if he had been fucking up too. I growled at him. "Tell me." "Two days." "And you didn't think to say anything earlier?" "I was on their tail and I was dealing with them." "Those first men, the fight at my complex. That was related. You knew?" "I found out after I'd already told you it was no worry. I didn't want to go back on my word." "Jackson." "For fuck sake, how would you have reacted if I told you? You'd have panicked like a school girl and been straight on a plane to New Zealand." "You're supposed to tell me if my life is in danger." "And you were supposed to be living safe. What happened to that?" "You said a few weeks. It'd been a few damn weeks." "You're to keep doing whatever I tell you, until I tell you otherwise." He glared at me again. "You're living the high life, enjoying yourself, because I'm always down in the dirt, trudging through this shit, doing what I can to keep you safe. For fuck sake, Darren. When I tell you to do something, you do it." There was a silence and I stared across the room. "I'm sorry." His voice quietened. "Do you know how horrific it is to have to listen down the phone, to something like that? Someone you care about is going through something like that, and you can't do shit, but listen?" It stunned me. I wanted to look around but I couldn't tear my eyes off the wall. "I thought you're not supposed to get attached to clients." "It's hard not to get attached when I've been working with you for so long. When my entire career is centered around protecting you and your family, how do you think that makes me feel?" I didn't know what to say. "You're a naive rich boy, but you were a good kid back then, and you're still a good man now. Your head's always been screwed on better than normal. Probably because being gay ruined your privilege and you had to taste the grit like the rest of us." "I honestly thought you hated me." "I do, kinda. But it doesn't mean I don't care." I looked around and he was smirking. "If you ran out of money I think I'd still be here, collecting 'I-owe-you' slips." "... Thanks." "Not that I'm complaining about the money. It's gone to a lot of good things. Both my kids are going through uni and they've always had great summer holidays with their mum." I was getting emotional and trying to hold it in. He squeezed my knee beneath the blanket. "You need to get better," he said. "I'm gonna go see what I can find out about Tyler. Wave this badge around and see if anyone will tell me something." He turned and headed for the door. "Jackson." "What?" "Your kids are really lucky to have you." I wanted to tell him what a hero, what an incredible man I thought he was. I couldn't shape the sentence. He smiled. "Darren. You know your uncle loves you, he's just shit at showing it?" I stared at the blanket. "I know." * They put Tyler into a medically induced coma. He had some severe head injuries and they were monitoring him carefully. He'd been through everything in one night. Stab wounds, gunshot wounds, a car crash. The things his body could endure were remarkable. Apparently he had come awake during surgery to remove a bullet from his kidney and scared everyone shitless. They still might have to take out that kidney if it didn't heal well. I knew these things because Jackson managed to get friendly with his doctor, casually chatting away, and he fed everything back to me. I would never understand how he did it, but I couldn't complain. Perhaps it was because the doctor was a woman. Amelia, Zack, and myself, were finally able to go in and see Tyler after a couple days of me walking free. He was still unconscious and hooked up to a machine, but to see his breathing body was a relief. His hand was warm. We went back out to the waiting room, to make room for his family. The three of them were already there. A young woman leapt to her feet, accosting Zack in instant recognition. She threw her arms around his middle and hugged him. "Is he awake?" she asked. "No, not yet." Her dark brown hair was tied up in a high ponytail, almost on the top of her head, which honestly just reminded me of a palm tree. She had big hoops for earrings, and she wore a little too much makeup. She turned to me and frowned. "Oh my God, you must be his boyfriend. You're like, cute." She gave my hand a vigorous shake. "Dad, Ty's got, like, a cuter boyfriend than me." "Probably something to do with your face," the man gruffly replied. Zack was clasping his brow and grinning as the three filed into the room. They were in there maybe five minutes before coming out again. His sister's ignorant attitude was gone. She was solemn. She came over and hugged me, and I didn't really know what to do about it. "You were in the crash too?" she asked, staring at the stitches on my face. "Yes." She hugged me again, hair of her ponytail tickling my nose. I received a smirk and shrug from Zack. "When does he wake up?" Tyler's mother asked. "I don't know," Zack replied. "I'm gonna ask," his father said, marching off. "All this way just to see him fuckin' sleeping." We ended up sitting somewhere else, waiting to see Tyler's doctor. His family was very friendly with Zack, which didn't surprise me, and his sister was starting to hit it off with Amelia, suddenly gasping out loud from their chatter. "Oh my God! Innit though?" His mother came to sit next to me, a hand on my knee, giving me this strange look which was both affectionate and suspicious. "So you are a gay man?" "Yes." Nicole gasped again. "Oh my God. Mum, you are so rude!" His father grunted. "Is Tyler gay now?" "No," Nicole said, rolling her eyes. "He's bi." "But he's with a man." "Yeah," she drawled. "And you know what being bi means? Like, he likes men." "So he's gay?" "Oh my God. You're stupid, Dad." "I just want to know what he is!" "He's bi!" * They took him out of the coma about four days later. I was told that everything with his brain seemed okay, but they could see the full extent of things once he woke up. I didn't leave the hospital. I wanted to be there when he came to. I spent that night with my arms crossed on the bed, head down, the slightest noises always jarring me awake. I ate from the cafe on the ground floor. They said it could take two or three days for him to wake up. Maybe even a week. A week? No, this was Tyler. He came to after a day. A hand was clumsily touching my head. "Hey. Hey. Wake up." I looked up into his drowsy eyes. He could talk. That was good. No brain damage so far. "You have to tell Zack that it's okay," he said. He was a bit delirious. There wasn't really much going on behind his eyes. It was like he was sleep talking, this blank gaze with random words. "I'll tell him," I replied. "Yeah. It wasn't his fault." He blinked, then frowned. "You have to tell Zack that it's okay." "He knows, Ty." "Okay, good." He touched my face. "You're really beautiful." I smiled. "So are you." "You know me, yeah? I had this dream that you hit your head and didn't remember me anymore." "I could never forget you." He grinned, and fidgeted. "Can I, like... Where's the bathroom? I need to piss." "They got you all wired up. You can just go." "What, like I got a tube in my dick?" "Yeah." "Holy shit. Will that hurt if I get a boner? You always give me boners." I chuckled and he grinned more, but then frowned, and tried to fidget again. His head turned on the pillow. He bucked and growled. "What's wrong with me?" "They drugged you to sleep." "Am I supposed to be awake?" "It's wearing off at the moment. You should probably sleep more." "Okay. You'll stay, yeah?" "I'm not going anywhere." He smiled and rested back against the pillow. Then he was gone again. The second time he woke up was a bit more violent. He started thrashing around, gasping, then bolted up and nearly made it out the side of the bed before I grabbed him. A nurse from the corridor came rushing in at the noise. I had to wrestle him down while he looked at me with these dark eyes, like he was going to kill me. The moment he gripped the nape of my neck it faded. He was bewildered. I wondered what was going through his mind, what parts he was remembering. He was staring at me as if he couldn't believe I was real. Then he kissed me. The nurse tutted and told him to get back into bed, and told me she was going to find his doctor. He propped up against the pillows, and just sat there in silence for a bit. I stroked my fingers over his knuckles, turned his hand over and stroked his palm. He stared at the movement, then his eyes flicked up to my face. "Is my car fucked?" "Yeah." He rubbed his eyelids, face screwing up like everything was a nightmare. "This is all real?" "Yeah. You... You did some really stupid stuff to protect me." "Of course I did." He looked hurt. "I love you." "I love you too." His hand cupped my cheek, thumb stroking the dented scar from the glass. "What's happening? Are you safe?" "Jackson's doing his job. Everything is fine." "How long has it been?" "Bit over a week." "When can I go home?" "I don't know." I leant over him and our lips met. He smelt so familiar compared to all these sterilized surroundings, it flooded me and soothed me. It was a passionate kiss, heavy and deep and honestly perfect. Making out on a hospital bed, that was something new. Thank fucking God he was alive. I held him tight and didn't want to let go. I had to as the door opened and the doctor came in. "Mister Andrews," she said, walking around to the bed. "You are a very, very lucky man." "I know," he replied, with a mischievous lip curl. "Have you seen my boyfriend?" She sighed and gave him a look. "Your injuries, or lack thereof. The state of your recovery." "Can you tell me what the hell you've been doing to me? I woke up and I was being cut open. Or was that a dream?" "No, that was real." I had to act like everything she was about to explain was news to me, too. Or Jackson would get in trouble. --- Tyler Being in hospital is boring. I could swear I was fine much quicker than they said, but they had to keep me in. To monitor me. I wanted to make my recovery at home. Home. Darren's house. That was my home. I don't think Darren ever left. He disappeared a few times and came back with fresh clothes, but he ate like shit and he slept like shit, constantly at my bedside. He got this thick full beard on his jaw, and so did I. We both looked pretty fucking awful, like we'd had 5 years slapped on, but we looked awful together. The visits kept me going. Zack showed up shortly after 5pm like clockwork, every single day. One time he brought David, who climbed all over me and chattered away in his cute voice. The poor kid's brain was having to process a lot of violence recently. He'd seen Darren, Zack, and now me, all with various injuries. The world could be a bad place and he couldn't stay sheltered from it. He always got blunt and matter-of-factly answers. Yes, Uncle Tyler nearly died. But it's all good because he's alive. He sat quietly for a minute, and I think he was trying to imagine what life would be like if I was gone. He burst into tears and hugged me tight and told me I shouldn't drive cars any more. He was also upset that the loud car was gone forever. Shit, I was upset. I loved that car. My family came a lot, too. Nicole was just as annoying as ever. She had to take a picture of me to upload on her Facebook - 'Ty totaled his car'. She pattered away on her screen while it blipped with messages. Hundreds of them. There seemed to be a lot of people in her contacts who cared about me. She tried to take a picture of Darren, too, but he snapped and knocked the phone from her hand. Luckily it landed on the bed, but she stared at him in shock and he scowled back. "Seriously, don't." He had a commanding tone when he wanted it. She didn't push it. She was running a series of status updates every day from there, letting people know how it was going. I honestly felt like Jackson might have a fit about it, but hey, I wasn't the one being hunted by criminals, right? Or maybe I was now. I had killed a man. Shit. I tried not to think about it. On the last couple of days when I was walking, Nicole made damn videos, trying to show the stitches and scars. It looked pretty ridiculous for a car crash, but nobody had to know that some of those were from bullets and knives. I saw one of the videos, and I have to admit, it was pretty funny. Me, barefoot, in nothing but a pair of grey tracksuits, walking down hospital corridors with a can of coke, drinking from a straw, swearing at her as she kept zooming in on my stomach, then my butt as I pushed past her. You could hear Darren's chuckling in the background, but never see him. When I had a moment alone with Darren, he touched the marks with affectionate fingers. My old scar from a knife was hidden by the new line where they'd cut me open to get at my kidney. On the other side I sported a fresh new stab wound, and I think the slash on my shoulder was forever going to leave a mark, too. His touch turned me on. He gave me that look. I'd been through a near-death experience and now I was high on life. I desperately wanted to get him somewhere private. Fucking hospital. I was getting ready to leave a day later, and Nicole brought me my charged phone. I decided to check my own Facebook just for the hell of it, and it had exploded with messages, just as I thought. A few new friend requests, too. I looked through her pics and videos of me, then just kept scrolling through. It was like I was going back in time. I had never really uploaded much to my own page, I was mostly tagged in other people's pictures of me. Me at parties, me at clubs, me looking drunk and stupid. People mostly snapped pictures of me at random moments, doing random things. I never really posed and actually looked at the camera, nobody could get me to stay still that long. But there was a string of very photogenic pictures, where a friend who wanted to be a photographer had used me as a model. Jesus Christ, that felt long ago. I got younger and younger the further I went through. Pictures from shittier quality phones. Pictures from old times. There was the iconic one of Zack and I, when I was 19 or so. I had my arm around his neck and he had a handful of my hair. We looked mid-wrestle, but were both managing to look at the camera, and laughing. That had been 'the' photo back then. Christ. I had one of those cringeful mirror selfies in my profile pics, too - from Myspace days. Did I even have a speck of facial hair? Holy shit. It's Who You Know Ch. 06 Darren came in and I looked up, staring at him for a moment. How had this stupid partying kid scored a man like him? I felt like a whole new person. His eyebrow rose at my blank face. "You all right?" "Look at this," I said, bringing up the photo of me with Zack. I handed him my phone and watched the grin spread across his face. "How old were you?" "Nineteen. He was what, twenty-one?" "So basically he was a chav, and you were a punk?" "I believe the term was 'mosha' back then. But yeah. We looked kinda funny together." "The hell was a 'mosha'?" "Mosher. Like, a hardcore emo. They still used it as an insult though." "What?" "Yeah, exactly." I flicked a finger at the screen to show him the next one, then he continued, looking through everything. But he went the opposite way to me, starting at the youngest ones and ending at the most recent. "This is hot," he said, pausing at one of the greyscale 'model' ones. I was pulling a generic pose, thumbs hooked in pockets, leaning against a wall, staring straight into the lens with a smirk. My shirt was barely buttoned up, my hair had a freshly shaven pattern on the side of my head. "How old were you here?" "Like twenty-three?" The timeline felt muddled in my head. I cringed inside knowing what photos were coming up next. "Most of them are embarrassing." "Nah. You even look sexy in your bad pictures." "No." "Yes. You'd make a good model." "Not right now. I look like, forty." He chuckled and stroked my scruffy beard. "No you don't." He was leaning in to kiss me when a woman cleared her throat at the door. "Hey, cuties." It was Amelia. Her even-toned voice seemed such a nice break from Nicole. I was actually really happy to see her. Apparently so was Darren, because he was flicking back through my phone to bring up the photo with Zack. "Have you seen this?" he asked. She clasped a hand over her mouth and giggled. "Oh, yes. Zack looked a lot like that when I first met him." She touched at Darren's wrist. "I, um. Your uncle's here." He scowled. "What? Why?" "He wants to see Tyler." "Why?" "It's nothing bad or I wouldn't have brought him in." "I'll believe that when I see it." She disappeared and came back with the grey-haired man, then left us in privacy. His icy stare made me nervous as he walked over. I wasn't feeling quite as invincible as that night at the networking. He was well groomed in his suit. I was a mess in hoodie and tracksuits. "I hear you're a very loyal man," Vincent said, not taking his eyes off me once. "Erm," I started. "You did some remarkable things to protect Darren." "Yeah." "I also hear your actions may be stirring up some legal troubles." Now he looked at Darren. "I'll be helping out on his case. Any expenses you need, I'll cover. You will have the best lawyers in this country." He looked back to me. "You're a man who's not afraid to put down scum, and I won't see you behind bars for it." I was stunned into silence. "Thank you for being there when you were." He gripped Darren's shoulder, and I thought it was the most affection I'd ever see from him. "My nephew is alive and well because of you." "I love him," I said. I still had to cross the line. Vincent's brow creased. "Yes." He turned and headed for the door. "It's a shame the crash couldn't knock the pair of you straight, but God will be judge of that." I bristled slightly as he left, but Darren placed a hand on my chest. His voice was quiet. "It's his way, Ty... He's lost a brother and two sons. He's been hurting for a long time." He looked into my eyes and his voice went even quieter. "You're accepted in the family." Shit, was Darren about to cry? I think I was tearing up, too. I hugged him to hide my face. He let out a single sniff and rubbed at his eyes. "Fucking hell." His voice was tight. "It's not over, Tyler. Nothing is." * I got to stay around Darren's for one night before the police took me in. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified. I was on trial for a list of things, but above all, manslaughter. I had to keep my cool. I had to stay focused. My story must stay the same. It must be involuntary manslaughter. It must be. Mitigating factors. That was what Jackson kept saying to me. We were going to get me out of this, because all I had done was accidentally kill a criminal who was trying to kill me. It was self defence. It was an accident. I might have some arrests on my record for assault before, but never a conviction. As far as the system was concerned, I was clean. Those next few weeks of my life were a blur. I was out on bail, covered by Darren and Vincent, and my trial was scheduled for early October. Things were going fast. Incredibly fast. There were people in the background making wheels turn, trying to get me through this. I was on a tense auto-pilot. I don't know how to describe what it's like, living your life on a ticking clock, knowing that in a matter of weeks you might get five or more years in jail. I went in to work because I didn't know what the fuck else to do. You just can't live like normal. You can't. My family learnt the truth about why the crash had happened. It made me shake all over. How can you just casually talk about that with your loved ones? Yeah, I stabbed a man in the throat. I didn't mean to. I was just so pissed off because he'd already stabbed me. * So many questions. I explained, in detail, every step of what had happened. What I could remember. "So, as soon as you had hold of this knife, the first thing you did was swing at your assailant's throat?" "It was an accident," I said. "I was in the middle of a fight, my arms were swinging anyways, I had the knife in my hand, and he was too close. I wasn't purposely aiming. I didn't mean to do it." "After you had commited this act, you instantly fled from the scene. Why?" "The other three men were still there, and one of them was pulling out a gun." "One of these shots hit you in the back while you ran, yes?" "Yes." They had witnesses stand up to give their stories. One was a man who explained how he had been walking down the road at the time, and seen us get accosted. "I was on the phone to the police already when the fight started." "You were already calling the police?" "Yeah." "Why?" "'Cause it was obviously something bad." "How could you tell?" "These four men circling these two, with the two in the middle looking obviously uncomfortable. I know what a mugging looks like." "Would it interest you to know, that what you witnessed was supposedly not a mugging, but an attempted kidnapping?" "A kidnapping? Why? Because the two men were in expensive clothes? Do thugs do that in real life? Do they try to kidnap people and ransom their families?" "Questions we'd all like answered, sir." They had Tracy there as a witness. Oh God. She started tearing up as she recounted the events. "We heard shouting outside, and someone came running into the restaurant asking for help. I wanted to do something to stop it but I didn't know how... I was scared." "The violence you saw scared you?" "Yes." "You saw what Tyler did?" "Yes." "And it scared you? Did it seem... out of character?" "Yes. He always just seemed such a sweet man, I..." She stared across the room, straight at me. "I had no idea you had that in you." "Neither did I," I replied. I received a quick glare for speaking. She swallowed and continued. "The man had already stabbed him about three times before he got the knife off him." "Three times?" "Something like that. He... He was covered in blood. I thought he was going to die." They even got Darren to stand up as a witness. I thought he was a participant more than anything, but apparently it worked. Somehow. Once again Darren had been involved in a fight and didn't see any arrest. He had punched the living shit out of that man... His voice filled the room and I closed my eyes. Could he save me? "I instigated the fight, because they told me not to answer my phone, and I still reached for it." "Why were you so intent on answering your phone?" "Because I knew it was Jackson calling." "How?" "Gut instinct." He stared with his cold eyes. "Everything Tyler did, he did to protect me." "Witnesses say you shouted at him to stop." "Yes." "And he didn't?" "If he had stopped, he would have died." "Mister Sörensen, we would all like to know why these men were after you in the first place. What was going on, for Mister Andrews to find himself in this situation?" "I would like to ask my family's private investigator to stand up and answer your question." So Jackson stood up and explained the case. Pure silence descended into that room. Eyes stared at Darren. His face was completely still, he only glanced at the jury once. My trial was becoming a part of something much larger, going over people's heads. "What these men weren't counting on," Jackson said, "is that when they tried to take Darren, they met their match. Someone who was willing to defend the man he loved to the bitter end. They needed to kill him and get him out of the way. He was fighting for his life." "So Mister Sörensen and Mister Andrews have been romantically involved for a while?" "Yes." "How long?" "I'm sorry, I don't see how that is relevant." Jackson handled a court room with finesse. My lawyer stood up to give a speech. You could somehow tell that he was a man hired by Darren's uncle. There was a subtle similarity in attitudes. "Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to give a good long think about what happened that night. This was a man acting in self defence of not only himself, but a loved one. He accidentally killed a man, yes. He killed a criminal. A renowned hitman who had accepted a life of crime and was, at the time of his death, on the run from the police. I have his files on hand, if anyone would like to hear the long list of his disgusting offences." "I don't think that's necessary." "What Mister Andrews did was not an act of manslaughter. It was an act of clearing up our streets. He was faced with a situation beyond him, and he could have chosen to leave Mister Sörensen to his fate. He could have chosen to run. He did not. Ask yourself what you would have done." I was shaking. I locked eyes with Zack across the room. He looked like he was hurting, unable to stand how helpless he was. He had shot a man dead. It had never caught up with him. My mistake was having witnesses. "If police had arrived on time to the scene, there is a high chance they would have used lethal force to subdue the victim, and he might have killed officers in the process. Unfortunately, they did not have a timely arrival. Tyler did what he needed to do. As grey as this area may be, do not let his life be ruined for ultimately doing the right thing." The judge asked me a simple question of his own. "Mister Andrews, how do you feel about what you did?" I stared at the floor for a moment, before looking up to meet his gaze. "I wish I'd never swung that knife." "If you could go back in time, would you rather have died, than take a life yourself?" "I don't know. I don't know if my instincts would have allowed me. All I know is that nothing is worth suffering the conscience of taking a life." It was the weight of a second life on me. Maybe actually the third or fourth. A lot of people had been affected by that car crash... Maybe the men Zack and I had killed, had deserved it. But who am I to say that? How did I really feel about what I had done? Regret, maybe. But deep down I knew that if someone ever attacked me like that in the future, I'd do it again. There are some people like me in this world. We lose ourselves in the moment. Standing there and awaiting my sentence, I couldn't feel anything. I was emotionally exhausted. I was trying to prepare myself, bracing to hear how many months I would spend in prison. Everybody had done what they could, but manslaughter was what I had done. The judge started to give some speech. It was very similar to what my lawyer had said. I could barely listen to it, I was just waiting for the 'but', the change in tone. I might be seen as a hero by some, but the law does not make allowances. "Mister Andrews, we find you not guilty." Not guilty. Not guilty. Manslaughter was what I had done, but I wasn't guilty of it? How was this fucking happening. I looked across the room. Amelia was crying. Zack was wide-eyed. My mother was doubled over with her head against her knees. My father was scowling like normal. My sister was holding her head, mouthing 'Oh my God' over and over. Jackson looked... smug. But genuinely happy. Darren was trembling and getting to his feet. Vincent also rose, and started to clap. There was this applause. I couldn't feel my legs. I couldn't feel anything. "Mister Jackson," the judge said. "I hope you receive plenty of police support in your continued efforts to protect the Sörensen family." Fucking Jackson. He had done this. Who was this man? Really? I just stood there for a moment, not knowing what to do next. I could leave? This was all over? I was still going to be charged with some lesser things. The crash was not one of them, as they had some proof that in that very moment I had been doing nothing wrong, and the other car purposely hit us. But I had been speeding before that, so I was charged with reckless driving, had a fine, and another point on my license. I was still being charged with aggravated assault. 12 months. I felt like I was going to faint as I listened to it. Shit. Shit. I wasn't free? I was being put straight on probation. Holy fucking shit. I glanced across the room and Jackson winked at me. The court was dismissed and I was walking out a relatively free man. So long as I obeyed all the conditions of my probation, the whole thing was going to blow over and fade into history. The air felt cold as I stood out there. I stared at Jackson. What do you do when someone has just done something like this for you? How do you express it? I wasn't alone in life. I had powerful friends. I hugged him. He wheezed with a puff of smoke, but chuckled and returned it, heavy slaps on my back. "You're all good, Tyler." There were lots of hugs. From Amelia, from Zack. From my family. Nicole squeezing my ribs like she wanted to kill me. Then finally Darren, who stood there waiting patiently. He held me for a long time before pulling back a little, forehead pressed against mine, eyes closed. The moment was ruined by the fake shutter sound of a smartphone taking a picture. Fucking Nicole. She took another one as our heads snapped around. "Nicole," Darren growled. "It's not going online," she replied. "It's just for us, innit?" He sighed. "You know what, just put it up. Whatever." Oh wow. Jackson came up and held both our shoulders. I hadn't realised how short he was compared to the pair of us, until he was standing there, so close, the top of his head only level with my cheek. He had always seemed one of those giant people who filled the room. I guess a person's presence can do a lot. He had a shell, and it smelt a lot like smoke, but it was down. He was talking to us genuinely, earnestly. "Case is wide open, and the police are taking a heavy interest again." He regarded Darren. "I'm gonna be very busy for a while." "Good luck, Jackson." "Cheers. Get yourselves home and get some rest. First meeting with your probation officer is in a week, Tyler." We got into Zack's car and I pulled my phone out, secretly curious to see Nicole's pictures. Jesus Christ. It was a good photo. It was amazing. That was me, that was my Darren, and that was what we looked like together. Just casually looking super photogenic after coming out of a trial about manslaughter, as you do. The second, slightly blurrier one was great in its own way, too - Darren's sexy grumpy face, my typical snarl. Darren peered over my shoulder, I showed him. He chuckled and rubbed his brow. The new chapter of my life was up on my timeline. I was proud of this one. --- It's Who You Know Ch. 07 Darren We stayed around Zack and Amelia's for a short while. Tyler needed the company. He needed to chat about things that had nothing to do with the past year, and I couldn't offer him that. He and Zack were discussing when they'd first met at college. I'd heard both of their versions alone, and now they were arguing about the actual events. "I honestly thought you were starting on me," Zack said. "You were a fucking dickhead with problems." "Yeah, well, you know why I sat at the back in the corner? 'Cause I didn't want to talk to anyone." "Well that was tough shit, wasn't it?" He laughed his typical guffaw. "You know what it was like to suddenly have a little squirt like you sidling up to me?" "'Little'? Wow. Lia, are you hearing this? I was trying to be friendly and he thought I was trying to start a fight." "Go easy on him, Ty. He didn't always have social skills." "He still doesn't. He managed to piss off four guys in a meeting and they tried to beat him up." Zack held his arms out with a mocking glare. Tyler flinched back before returning it with his lip curl. They were chest-bumping, circling, making a snickering mockery of what I had seen that night. I felt a twinge, however light-hearted it was supposed to be. "You want some?" "Yeah?" "C'mon you little bitch." "Oh my God," Amelia said. "Boys, boys." They started shoving, then wrestling, and she clasped a hand to her brow. I seriously considered moving off the sofa as they nearly tumbled onto it. Tyler had his foot hooked around the back of Zack's knee and they were hopping, laughing, staggering, until Zack finally lost his balance and Tyler managed to land on top. The thud was so heavy I think the whole room shook. "You think you can take me? I killed a man." He went limp the moment he said it and Zack slammed him down. There was a pause of silence, both their faces fallen. Zack released him and sat back on his knees. "I guess we're even now, huh." "Yeah." Tyler sat up with a grunt, and ran a hand down his face. "Shit." Zack's arm went around his shoulders. They stayed there, hugging. There was so much emotion on Amelia's face, and I wondered if as much showed on mine, too. It probably should have been a private moment between them, but neither seemed to care that we were there. * I stared in the mirror at home. I would forever have this scar on my cheek. It wasn't that bad, it just... ruined symmetry a little. I needed to get used to it. Every time I caught my reflection I wanted to brush at the mark, brush it off my face, as if it was something that wasn't supposed to be there. I wondered what people who met me from now on would think of it. Where would they think it was from? What would it make them think of me? Did I look like someone who partook in violence now? Tyler had that scar in his eyebrow, but it wasn't something I consciously thought about when I pictured his face. It was just a part of his look. Maybe that was how it would be with me, with people who met me. Some might ask where it was from. Was I going to spend a lifetime shrugging, replying 'car crash', the way Tyler just told people that he hit his head? That stupid mark on my face didn't deserve all the thought I was giving it. Tyler was sitting on the island counter in the kitchen, reading the packaging on something. I could fill my cupboards with ingredients and he would find a way to throw things together, to make something out of anything. I loved how his mind worked. It was why he worked in the labs. It was supposedly why I'd hired him. "Darren," he said. "I think I need glasses." "Really?" "Yeah." He squinted and held the packaging further away from him. "I've always got headaches when I read too much, but now, I just can't read this tiny text. Do you think head injuries can make my eyes bad?" "It can effect things. We should take you to get checked." He grinned at me. "Would I look good with glasses?" "It'd actually make you look slightly clever." "Wow." He hopped down. "You know, I was thinking, maybe I shouldn't buy a second car of the same model. It just won't feel right. I don't know what to get. Maybe a Porsche or something, but I always thought they were pretty ugly." "How much are you getting from insurance?" "Almost replacement value. They're being pretty good." "You should just get another Camaro," I said, heading for a drawer at the end of the counter. "They did release a new design. Looks pretty beasty." "It's a better-looking car than more expensive ones." I chucked the Lamborghini's keys at him. "Especially this fucking thing." He caught the keys and frowned at them, then at me. "Let's go for a drive," I said. "Serious?" "Yes." He bolted out the front door, circling the thing before he unlocked it. "How long has it just been standing about? Will it even start, Darren?" "I charged it last week." "Holy fucking shit. It took you this long to psyche up?" "Shut up and get in." He sat behind the wheel, fiddling with the seat and mirrors. I gripped the dashboard, looking about at the interior. I hated the car. I hated how the doors opened. I hated its shape. It looked like a fucking alien bug. It made some unhappy sounds when Tyler started the engine. A long series of squeaks before it growled. He revved it and looked at me with that boyish grin. I had to get out. I paced and rubbed my forehead. He got out too, sliding across the bonnet, gripping my waist and kissing me. "Come on, you can do this." We stood there for a moment while it chugged and snarled, waiting impatiently. It was a sound I felt more in my stomach than on my ears. "You're driving," I said. "I might if I think I can." We clambered in, he shifted into reverse and we started to roll. There was a constant tension in my muscles, but I didn't feel much else. I was sick and tired of my anxiety. I wanted to be done with it. We left the gates and he never went very fast. He was just cruising, enjoying its power and control. The car felt so balanced and steady, I still didn't understand what had happened when it swung out of my control on that fateful day. It was the exact same model. The exact same colour. "This is fucking awesome," he said. "Jesus Christ. I never thought I'd be driving a Lambo in my life." "Go faster." "Sure?" "You've not even done above thirty yet." I felt like Jamie. It was what he'd been like. 'Go faster. Go faster. Go on, pussy.' We had been stupid rich boys racing a stupidly expensive car. I watched Tyler's calm posture, going up a gear when the engine wanted it. He didn't seem to have that suicidal death wish that I did. He didn't have the urge to go fast, just because he could. The urge to play on train tracks, to skydive, to swim with sharks, just because I wanted to feel the danger. Tyler liked excitement. He liked to have a good time. He didn't seek out danger. There was a difference. I didn't know if it was my upbringing, or if it was some personality trait. I liked rules, I liked discipline, I liked order. Then I loved to shatter it with chaos, to lose control, just for a short while. I wanted to feel the adrenaline, but it was self destructive. I had taken it too far. It wasn't me who got hurt. It was others. I couldn't handle the adrenaline now. It just made me sick. Maybe if I had ever known what real danger was, I would've had more respect for life. I knew what it was, now. Two car crashes and a brutal street fight later, I think I understood. Tyler picked up speed and made a sharp turn. Feeling the tug of the seatbelt against my body was enough to start it. I tried to push it down, but it rose up. Even just acknowledging its existence made it stronger. Yet it was impossible to ignore. "Tyler, stop." My voice strained. "Wait. Just a minute." He pulled over and I got out, gasping for breath, clutching my head. The air was fresh. It was probably going to be a chilly night. It'd be dark in a couple of hours. "You okay?" Tyler asked, leaning across the passenger seat. I could do this. "Yes." I got back in and shut the door. "Keep going up here and turn right. I want to show you where I crashed." "Are you sure? We're supposed to easing into this." "Yes, I'm sure." "You're diving in deep again." "Just do it." He drove us along those countryside roads, slowing around every bend, but they were just as empty as always. Everything was flooding back to me, a weight in my guts, but I was okay with it. I was facing it. "I think it was here," I said. "No, wait, no. Further up." It almost all looked the same. We came to that long, straight line between two fields, and it struck me. This was where I had put my foot down. So reckless and clueless. Jamie laughing and hooting in my ear. "It's up here." I spotted the tree and pointed it out. Tyler pulled over. It was a giant, beautiful oak, leaves turning gold and dropping with autumn. My body was heavy but I opened the door and clambered out. I was trembling, cold sweat making my shirt stick to me beneath the waistcoat. I probably looked a lot like Amelia as I stood there with one hand clasped over my mouth, taking it in. The car fell into silence and the driver's door shut. "This is it, huh?" "Yes." I stepped closer. "Right here." Tyler walked over to the tree and placed a hand on the trunk. There were still some obvious markings on it, where the bark had been damaged and healed over. All these years and that tree still beared the wounds. "Come on," he said. "It's not gonna kill you." I didn't feel the same desire to touch, I was content just looking at it. I stood beside him, felt his hand at the back of my head, stroking my hair. He was watching my face. Parts of the road were cracked and raised by the oak's roots. Was that what had done it? I had initially lost control further back, though. Was it horse shit? Was it a smear of mud? Why had it happened? Why did it spin like that when I braked? Jamie was gone forever. I missed him. I still had wounds like that tree. I wasn't over it, even if I thought I was. But today I was going to start anew. I was going to accept it and move on. I was going to be a new person. A better person. My life needed me at the wheel. "I'm driving," I said. Tyler grinned, walking around to the other side. "No speeding." I opened the door. "No." "No drifting." I sat inside with a grunt. "No." He leant across and pecked my cheek. "I love you." It was a strangely empty feeling. Being in control, but having to let go at the same time. The two extremes balanced each other out. I think I expected more. It was just a machine. Pedals and gearstick. I made it along the countryside roads, but once we headed back towards civilisation, I didn't want to be around other cars. My body ached from tension. I pulled over and we swapped seats. * It was getting dark once we got home. There was a definite cold breeze. Tyler shivered and jogged up to the door, crunching gravel and making the light come on. He made me so thick with emotions. He was still here. He'd been through my fears with me, protected me from some of them, and still had his energy, his smiles. I had initially kissed him because I liked what I saw on the outside, and I had struck gold with the person I found beneath. I had a lot of luck. We were both lucky, to have survived what we did. He was lucky to be let off from what he'd done. The probation was just a cover, something to make a statement. He was a free man. I knew we weren't going to have trouble getting through it. He was heading to the kitchen, but I wasn't really hungry. Not for food. I wanted him. His body. His taste. He looked good today. He looked good every day but there was something about the current red shirt and black jeans combo. Maybe it was the way the hairs on his forearms were still standing from the chill outside. Maybe it was how all his tension and worry was evaporating and he seemed so happy to be alive. He was saying something but I slid an arm around his middle, touched my lips to the back of his neck. He leant into me. My hand ran down his shirt, beneath his belt, beneath the snug fit of his jeans, following the hair down. He was already getting hard and the stroke and squeeze of my fingers finished it. His head rested back against my shoulder. My free hand brushed over his exposed throat. He shuddered and groaned. "Fuck," he breathed. "I want you," I growled. "Right now." I tasted the skin of his neck, sucked on it. It rippled through him and his hands grabbed at my hips. There were some things he couldn't resist. He could be so easy to control. I loved his heat, watching him lose himself in his lust, knowing that I was doing it to him. All he cared about was feeling good, and making me feel good. He was an incredible lover. The best I'd ever had. And he was right there to have whenever I wanted. We were straight up to my room. Once turned on, he was in tunnel vision. He usually instigated it first, but to come so heavily onto him was exhilirating - however much I wanted it, he usually got there before me. I'd finally caught him unaware at a random moment. He wanted me. And he was so damn happy every time he got what he wanted. He was already unbuttoning my waistcoat and shirt as I pushed him onto the bed. Amazing things had already happened that day. It was time for more. He kissed my chest, moving from one nipple to another while his hands squeezed my waist. He never liked to make it easy. He was such a hot bottom because he put up enough of a fight, while still being so willing and submissive. He made me feel like I earnt it. And he loved it. To see him enjoy being penetrated and fucked was what made it feel so good. But there was another side to him. What if I didn't always want to win? "Oh, shit," he moaned. I bit his ear, his throat, pushing him down with my body weight. His legs wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer. "Fuck me." I pulled away. "No." He sat up, I took another step back. "I want you to fuck me." He stared. I knew he wanted it. He'd been dropping the hints from the very start; he was waiting for me to want it, hoping I would. I'd been wanting it for a while. Life was in the way but now, none of that mattered. This was me, and him, the closed world in my bedroom. I was sweating more than normal just thinking about it. I could feel it under my arms, on my chest. I almost couldn't breathe just from the look he was giving me. He got to his feet, my heart raced. So many nerves, and it felt incredible. His hand touched my stomach, light as a feather. I flinched. He brushed it around my waist as he circled me, leaning in to nuzzle my ear, breathe through my hair. "You want me to fuck you?" "Yes." It was nearly a whisper. "Hard?" "Yes." The chuckle rolled from his throat and he shoved me onto the bed. He was on top of me, grinding against my crotch, mouth on mine, forcing his tongue inside when my lips parted with a gasp. His fingers curled in my hair, holding my head down as he kissed my neck, across to a shoulder, down my chest. "I want you to show me how to let go," I breathed. His breath tickled me. "Don't you always let go?" "I want to let go like you do." He dragged his tongue across my stomach. "Then you have to want it as much as I do." He moved back up to my face, pushing his hips into mine, rubbing his covered cock against mine. I groaned. It was already feeling so good. And it was firing me up. He didn't know how to hold me down. Or maybe he wasn't trying. With a surge and a growl I rolled him over. He thought I was going to make this easy for him? "I want you to fuck me until I beg you to stop." His eyes flickered with excitement. He fought back, wrestled, grinned and snarled. My arms were tired. My whole body was tired from the strain I'd put it through with the drive. I didn't give in. He won. Even when below him I didn't stop. I needed to feel him overpower every inch of me. He was continuing to undress me while wrestling me down. My belt came away from my trousers, but I wasn't expecting it when he wrapped it tight around my wrist and buckled it through the gaps on the headboard. He straddled me while he pulled off his own. I burst into laughter from the surprise and butterflies - he pinned me with a knee on my shoulder, shin across my chest. The whole weight of him was too much. My second arm was tied. I tested my bounds, it wouldn't be easy to escape. And I didn't want to. Shit. What had I let myself in for. He was grinning, running his hands down my body. "Are you gonna be good?" "Do I have any choice?" His fingers brushed my nipples. "I'll show you how to lose control." Fucking hell. He had everything else off me, and slowly started to undress himself. I strained against the belts again as the shirt slipped over his shoulders. The urge to touch his body was too strong. The jeans came off, he was so hard. Clothes might compliment him but he would always look best naked. A figure like his was supposed to be seen, scarred and marked as it was. Even his cock looked so perfect, symmetrical. He leant over me, kissed me. I had just enough slack to relax my arms with my elbows bent, but not much else. His touches were light, gentle. It felt like he was exploring my body again, as if it was the first time he was seeing it. Every so often his fingers would give a little squeeze, his palm would press harder, his tongue would come out from his lips. I might not go crazy like he did when my neck was kissed, but it still sent shivers through me. He pulled my hair to keep my head back, giving him access to every inch of my throat. He found my pulse. I felt it when he pressed his tongue there. Was the window open? I felt so chilled, aware of every cold line of sweat on my body. Heat radiated from him, warmed me wherever our skin touched. His cock brushed against mine and I shuddered violently. He chuckled and finally gave it some attention, circling a finger around the head, smearing the pre-cum, then leaving a long wet line down my shaft. "You always get so wet, Darren." I grunted. "I love it." He was moving down, between my legs, tongue licking and tasting. He took me into his mouth and gave a single suck, then stopped. His hands ventured from my hips to my chest. Fuck. He had full access to my nipples and I couldn't stop him. He gave both a pinch, then was twisting and turning, rolling between finger and thumb. It felt so good, then started to get so sensitive I couldn't take it. I was moaning and squirming, trying to escape with twists and bucks. My cock touched his with every throb and twitch. The arches of my spine couldn't push him away. He tugged harder. "So sexy," he husked. "It's not fair," I gasped. "I know. I wish mine were as sensitive as yours." He leant down to suck and flick with his tongue. I groaned, arms and shoulders straining. Could I come from this? Why was I wired this way? My legs wrapped around him, pulling him against me, needing some pressure against my crotch. It was an aching, a tension in my stomach. I needed release. "Please, stop." He bit me when he pulled away, making me shudder. He kissed down my stomach, licked up drips of pre-cum, tickled my balls with his tongue. "Fuck, Tyler." His tongue went lower still, teasing at my hole while his hands held my thighs. Why the fuck were my arms tied? Heat was burning through me. I wanted to fuck him so hard. I was straining and squirming while his tongue worked my hole, never quite giving me enough. He held my legs down. I moaned and growled at the same time. Go deeper, damn it. Fuck me with your tongue. He pulled away, gave me that lip curl, the snarling grin, eyes telling me how much he enjoyed what he was doing to me. I was seeing the wild side again, I was giving it domination and control over me. It's Who You Know Ch. 07 He leant over to the drawers to get the lube. I wanted to shut my eyes, or stare at the ceiling, but I couldn't take my gaze off him. My heart raced with anticipation. A wet finger rubbed around my hole, I took in every sensation. With more lube, he ventured inside. He didn't go deep, just teasing and circling around the entrance. Why wouldn't he go deeper? When I tilted my hips he pulled the finger out. He was taking his time lubing up his cock, switching between teasing me and finishing the job. "You want it?" he asked. "Yes." My voice was rasping. Shaping words was difficult. "You want my dick?" "Fuck yes." He pushed two fingers in, deep. There was the slightest bit of pain, but he made it disappear, rubbing and pressing at the walls. He avoided the perfect spot where he knew I felt it best. For fuck sake. How long could he tease me? The belts felt clammy around my sweaty wrists. My fingers were hurting my palms, my fists were so tight. He started to rub my hole with the head of his cock. It slid up and down, smooth and slick. "Feels good?" "Yes," I breathed. He pressed harder. "You want it?" I couldn't manage much more than a moan. "How bad?" I tilted my hips into his movements, almost pressing him inside. He pulled back. "Fuck me," I gasped. "That's right. Beg for it." He leant over me, pushed against my hole with his thighs against mine. He stroked a nipple. "Beg." "Fuck me." His fingers pinched. "Beg!" "Fuck me! Please, Tyler, fuck me!" He was pushing inside. I threw my head back, crying out with some sort of roar. I didn't even care what sounds I was making. I wanted this so bad. Hurting, and feeling so good at the same time. He was going in with every thrust, every push. Fuck. Yes, yes, yes... "Fuck," he breathed. "You tight bastard." His hands gripped my waist. "You want it deep?" "Yes," I gasped. "Then let me in." I wanted to loosen, but I couldn't stop squeezing around him. He kept going, forcing inside. It was burning, but the slide of the lube was soothing. With another shudder my body finally submit. He went in as far as his length allowed, hitting parts of me that hadn't felt anything in a long time. "Oh yeah," he growled. He started thrusting. "Yes. Yes!" I felt faint. These sensations were too much for me. He was fucking me, pounding me while I was moaning, gasping, helpess. His eyes were so dark - the opposite side of him to the tilted brows, the sexy cries, the hands that held me in desperation. He was in control of his pleasure. My lungs couldn't suck in enough air. It was still hurting, but I didn't care. "Feels good? You like that?" I couldn't talk. I was trying to fathom what was happening to me. He shifted, tilting me against his thighs. I gripped the belts to steady myself. He went harder, faster, hitting at a different angle. The pain was disappearing. I was left with this uncontrollable feeling, something building up deep inside. He was hitting that spot, over and over again. "Don't stop," I begged. "Don't stop..." I would've been jacking my cock so hard were my hands free. I couldn't. This explosive feeling was building up and I had no outlet. It went past that. Waves coursing through my entire body, tingling in my spine, pulsing in my stomach. I felt like I was already coming. It was endless. Crazy. Pressure that wouldn't stop building. My insides were tightening and loosening around Tyler beyond my control. He might have been talking dirty but I could barely hear it. All I could focus on was my body. "What's wrong?" his husky voice teased. "Feels good?" His hands were pulling me down onto him, accompanying the thrusts, hitting so deep. "Fuck yes." He kept talking in that breathless voice. "You feel so fucking good." I couldn't take it. Something happened to tip me over the edge. I was coming, primal, involuntary groans vibrating in my throat, pleasure ripping through me, a few seconds of being lost in it before it reached my cock. I bucked, convulsed, moaned so loud. "Oh my God," Tyler gasped. "Shit, Darren..." He came, hard, pushing me against the headboard with his last thrusts. Our bodies were trembling, panting. I finally managed to open my eyes, he was looking at me, shocked, grinning in disbelief. "Oh my fucking God," he said. Breathless. "What did that feel like?" "Amazing." I was soaked in sweat, my body limp and sensitive. I felt like I'd just been hit with a hammer. He slid out of me, played with the cum on my stomach and chest, dragging his fingers through it. "You don't understand how sexy you are." I swallowed over my dry throat. "Can you untie me?" "No." He held my hips. "I'm not done yet." He was still hard. I watched the head of his cock disappear from view, pressing at my hole. I was exhausted and powerless. "I don't think I can do it again." "That's okay. I just want to fuck you." I was drained, but relaxed. He pushed inside me without much resistance, and started to fuck. I thought I'd be numb, but there were tingles of pleasure. His cock rubbing my insides just felt... good. He was using his own cum as lube. It turned me on so much, but I didn't have the energy to do much with it, other than enjoy the warmth. I think he was enjoying the sight of me, tied down beneath him, covered in my own cum, weak and shattered from the mind-blowing orgasm. He kissed me, I stroked his tongue with mine. The pressure was building again. Blood was rushing to my cock and I was getting hard. "Please," I groaned. "Untie me." He finally did so. I stretched my aching arms, touched his body, pulled him closer. My fluids smeared in his chest hair. He chuckled, softly, pressing his mouth on mine. I was able to coax the second orgasm out of me with my hands. Tyler watched, grinning, as I shuddered and moaned. It wasn't like the first, but I don't think I could handle something like the first. It left me feeling more satisfied, at least. He held me and moved to finish, pounding into me for a few minutes, doing whatever he wanted. I could feel his throbbing. He breathed out a long, slow moan, gasped, and moaned again. "Fuck, Darren." The movements of his body drifted to a stop and he collapsed against mine. "I love you." My fingers traced along his chiselled jaw. "I love you too." He was breathing through my hair, each exhale rattling in my ear. I couldn't move, he didn't seem to want to either. That was fine. We dozed off for a while until he stirred and startled me awake. I was a little cold and stiff, and messy. "I'm hungry," he grumbled. "Order a pizza." He chuckled and checked his watch. "It's only, like, nine. Jesus Christ. We fucked too early. I wanna sleep." "Large pepperoni, stuffed crust." "As adventurous with toppings as always." I grinned and rolled onto my stomach, grunting with the effort. His hand stroked and squeezed my arse. "How you feeling? Sore?" "Meh." He chuckled again, kissed up my spine. "That was so hot, what you did." "You did it to me." He kept kissing my shoulders, my neck. "Tyler. Pizza." "Right." --- Tyler I woke up before him, thought I was running late. Went through the typical morning routine of letting Amanda out, feeding her, preparing the coffee machine. Realised once I was in the shower that it was Saturday. Jesus, my brain was so fried. I'd been so tense leading up to my trial. Now it was all over, and life was going to go back to normal. All these amazing things, this was normal. Darren's hands made me jump. I hadn't heard the door open, him come in. Probably because I had the spray up to its roaring strongest, as usual. He shoved me against the tiles and I nearly slipped over. His hard cock pressed against my arse. "What the fuck? Did I drop the soap?" "Yes." I laughed. "Oh my God." With a bit of spit and the water of the shower, he was starting to thrust inside. I should have known he wouldn't just let me get away with yesterday. I let out a playful growl of pain, he chuckled in my ear, arms across my chest and stomach. It was pretty rough and dry, but he didn't go all the way in and barely lasted a minute, just using me for his morning wood. When he was done he got down on his knees and gave me an amazing blowjob. God, life was good. "You're gonna make my water bills crazy," he said. "I love showers." "I know." His chest bounced with his chuckle and he shoved me out of the warm spray into the chill. "Go make me coffee." "Fucking hell, are you gonna start putting the heating on? It's basically winter now." "It comes on by itself." "Well it's not working." "You're a wimp." "Fuck you." He had to take a work phonecall, walking in circles in the kitchen, trapped in semi-casual chatter with a client. The business really was his life, and I was so used to it. The constant distractions, noises from private and work phones, long conversations where his voice got less pleasant and more blunt the moment it went over 15 minutes, on the dot. His grumpy face when he finally got sick of it and switched the technology off. Only to have to chase up voicemails whenever he turned it on again. It wasn't always so bad, but I almost burst into laughter when he was busy on his work phone and his private one started ringing. He waved it at me with a frown, to answer it. It was Jackson. Oh. "Hello?" "Tyler? What, are you his home secretary now?" "He's talking with a client." "All right." "Can you tell me what it is? Is it anything important?" "No, it's really nothing exciting. Tell him to call me later." The thing I'd learnt with Jackson, was that 'nothing exciting' could mean five guys about to kick the door in with guns. Oh well. Darren finished his call, then finally complained about it being chilly. "I fucking told you!" We snuggled on the sofa while he drank his coffee, kicking a toy across the floor for Amanda. She skidded and clattered on the wood, bringing it back each time, thinking it was the best game ever. "Should be walking her," he said. "Yeah?" "But I'm sore." I burst into laughter, putting my legs over his lap. "When was the last time you bottomed?" "Years ago." We had one of those conversations, at long last, about exes. I'd been so curious about Darren's history, but had put off asking, because I wasn't sure if I was comfortable talking about my own beyond passing comments. There had been lots of comments about his, not always from him. Especially about his 'twink' ex. So I finally asked. "Yeah," Darren was saying. "He was just a bit... effeminate." "Was it kinda recent?" "No, not really. It was over some years ago." "Why does everyone still mention him all the time, then?" His breath hitched with a chuckle and he rubbed his brow. "He was a bit of a personality. Hard to forget." "Why? What happened?" There was a silence and he stared down at his mug. "Well, I met him through Rick. Rick thought I'd be perfect for him because I'd 'treat him well'. He was one of those people who was obviously gay, but not comfortable with himself." "He had problems?" "He just wasn't confident, you know." "And you were?" "More than him." He took a sip of his coffee. "I wasn't really with him for long before the crash happened." I think I already pieced together the story just from that. I already saw how it would become a painful, downwards spiral to rock bottom, but I let him keep talking, explaining. "I don't want to sound like I'm just bad-talking him. He was there for me, he did what he could. But when you go through something like that it makes you see things in a different way. I knew it wasn't going to work. The way he was, with how I wanted to be. Problem was, I was in love with him, so I wouldn't let go." "You really loved him?" "Yeah, I did. At least I thought I did. The longer I'm with you, the more I question it." He shook his head. "I was in a bad place back then. It's hard to really know." "I guess it ended bad." "Yeah, it was a mess. The whole relationship was a mess, to be honest. He always had problems with my uncle, and there was this one argument where Vince ripped a whole new one into him. That was the last straw. He was gone. Told me it was over. Was just gone. It ripped me apart. I was angry at everybody, but especially Vince." I sat up and leant an arm on his shoulder. He smiled at me. "He wasn't a bad person. We just weren't compatible. We dragged that relationship out two years longer than it should have been." He sat forwards to leave his empty mug on the table, and ruffle Amanda's ears. "Now that's out of the way, can I bitch?" "Yes. Bitch away." "He was so fucking high maintenance." I chuckled and sprawled out. "He was the moodiest person I've ever known," Darren continued. "Worse than any woman with her period. He just expected me to do everything perfect but never made it clear what he wanted. We argued a lot. Stupid little needling arguments where he got all snarky. He expected me to spend money on him, because I was rich. He had no respect for where that money came from. If I was busy with something to do with the company, he'd fucking strop, and whine that I had no time for him." He was doing his thing where he waved an angry hand around with his story. I loved it. "The sex wasn't even that good. He was a virgin. Well, virgin. He'd been with other guys, but never gone all the way. Even after we got to a point where getting my cock in wasn't a fucking performance, he never really enjoyed it." He sighed, the hand stroked along my thigh. "Not like you do." I just grinned and folded my arms behind my head. "So all the others before him?" He tossed me one of those looks. "Some flings. Nothing that lasted as long." "Yeah?" "Yeah, I actually used to go to gay bars when I was younger. Now I just get headaches." "I bet you had them flocking to you, you rich cunt. Bet you were a right sugar daddy." He rubbed his brow with a smirk. "I honestly didn't try that hard. If something happened, fine. If not, then whatever. Just sex. You know how it is." "Do I? You might have actually fucked more people than me." "Bullshit. There's no way someone like you walks into a bar without getting some every night. Don't need money with looks like yours." I chuckled and clasped a hand over my face. There was a lot of stuff I wasn't proud of. "So when did you break up with this high maintenance twink? Four years ago?" "Around about." "You seriously had nothing since then?" "Some dates. Rick's always liked setting me up. Never met anyone where I felt something could work. I guess I was a bit jaded, didn't really know what I was looking for either. A couple of times, just fucked someone the whole night and never saw them again. Didn't feel right about it." Amanda was dropping a toy at his feet repeatedly, looking at him like he was a retard and not understanding what she wanted. He sighed and gave it a kick across the floor. She scrambled after it in a flurry of claws. "So can I hear about your conquests, Ty? All of your exciting history?" I chuckled. "For fuck sake. No. I was just a dirty slut. Use your imagination. I'm sure anything you think of probably happened somewhere." "Come on." "No." "There were obviously some actual relationships in there. You wouldn't have been so anxious with me unless you knew what it was like to be dumped." Damn. I grumbled something in protest while he leant over me, kissing my cheek as I tried to hide my lips. "I don't care," he said. "But I do." "Because you think I care." His body was so warm, I squeezed him tight. "I love you." His lips started to touch at my neck. "And you're the most amazing sex I've ever had." "Stop it," I chuckled. "Tell me, Tyler." Where to even start? The beginning, right. So I told him about my first serious girlfriend, when I was 15 to 16. "She was the first person I tried 'coming out' to, the first person I really told about liking guys. She decided that meant I was gay and she dumped me." "Nice." "Yeah. To be fair to her, she could have gone around spreading rumours in the whole school and ruined me. She didn't. She kept it to herself. I appreciated that." "Would it have been that bad?" "Yes. Seriously. I basically had no friends, okay? Acquaintances, acquaintances everywhere. I knew everyone, because I was the class clown always getting sent out into the corridor, but I didn't have real, proper friends. I tried being friendly with everyone but it was always shallow. The kids I hung about with at lunchtimes were all guys. It was always the banter, to act gay, to take the piss out of it. No-one was supposed to actually be gay." He smirked at me. "The class clown, huh?" I sighed. "Didn't you have that kid at your school? Y'know, the one who was always getting sent out when you'd only been sat down five minutes or less. The one the teachers started sending out before they'd even done anything wrong, as pre-emptive measures. That was me. 'Get out, Tyler. You're looking at someone, Tyler. Get out. You said two words, Tyler. Get out.' I never did any fucking work. I don't know how I ever passed exams." "Did you make sure to pull faces through the door and disrupt the rest of the lesson?" "Of course!" He grinned and shook his head. "Yeah, there was a kid like that at my school. He got the shit beaten out of him by his parents, though." "My parents had to go in to talk to the teachers all the time. Didn't do anything, though." "When did you tell your family?" "What?" "About being into men." "Once I was at college." "How did they take it?" "Pretty well. The worst one was actually Nicole. She was a fucking bitch about it for a while, y'know, all 'eww you're gay' and shit. Then at some point she just grew up and changed. Didn't care anymore. Was even, supportive." "Your dad still seemed... confused." "Yeah, I've just confused him by being with you. He always thought I loved women, and just had sex with men. Then he sees I'm in love with a man. He's never really been an asshole about it, nothing like your uncle. He's called me a fag, a puff, a pretty-boy, a fudge-packer. But he insults everyone. I mean, shit, he had one of those long parent talks with me about making sure I was being safe if I was doing anal. So fucking embarrassing. 'Dad, oh my God, I'm eighteen'! Then the weird realisation that he must have done it before to know so much about it." Darren was grinning down at his hands. "He was really convinced that I was fucking Zack at one point. Well, getting fucked." His eyebrow rose and he tossed me a side glance. "You had a massive crush on him, didn't you?" Shit. I hated admitting it. "Yeah... When I was, like, nineteen." "Don't blame you." I chuckled and clasped a hand to my forehead. "It was weird because I didn't at first, it just happened after I'd already known him a couple years. Like I got the idea in my head, and had a hard time making it go away." "It's okay. I used to have a massive crush on Jackson." I squeaked. "Seriously?" "Yes. He's not aging so well, but back when I first met him, he was like some handsome stud straight out of a Bond movie." "I believe you. How long have you known him?" "Since I was eighteen or so." "What's his real name?" I had been wondering that for a while. "Theodore." "Ted? Teddy Jackson?" "I dare you to call him that next time you see him." "You were supposed to be calling him back..." "No. I've only heard about one girlfriend so far." "For fuck sake." It was hard to explain what things had been like through college and university. A lot of flings. A lot of one night stands. A lot of pissing around, a lot of mistakes. I wasn't very good at organising it in my head, kept back-tracking and changing my mind on details. It's Who You Know Ch. 07 We were discussing Daniel, my on-and-off dysfunctional uni boyfriend. I really didn't want to think about him for long, so I blurted it out fast. "Yeah, well, last time I saw him he raped me." Darren went quiet and studied me in surprise. "Got me nice and drunk, possibly drugged, took me home, and fucked me while I said no." "... You sound awfully nonchalant about it." "I can't be bothered to care about it. Shit happens." I stared at the floor. "You're actually the first person I've told." He was sitting closer, putting his arm around me. "I kept partying once I was done with uni, because I was an idiot. Couldn't leave that lifestyle behind. He wasn't the only mistake I made." "Why did you keep doing it?" "People just expected it of me, y'know? At school, I was the class clown in every lesson. Get older, I was the sex clown of nightclubs who pulled every fucking night out. People invited me out because they expected me to get some, and they hoped, thought it was supposed to help them get some, too. It could be guys or girls, which was part of the fun in it. 'Who, what, is Tyler getting this time?' Jesus Christ." I frowned at the wood at my feet. "People love it when you're funny. They forget you've got feelings. You're not always walking happiness." His arm squeezed my middle tighter and I got Amanda's nose in my face. I'll admit it, dogs are pretty amazing, how they sense your mood change. I was really attached to that dog by then. I loved how she followed Darren everywhere in the house, watching him with complete adoration. I breathed in Darren's scent, leaning against him. "Rick was right about you." "About what?" "You treat people well." His knuckles brushed my cheek. "You've been so good to me," I continued. "Right from the start." "It's what you deserve." "Maybe. I'm just not used to it." "Everyone deserves to be treated well, Ty." I sat straight to grip the nape of his neck, pressing my forehead against his. "All of this has been amazing. You're amazing. I wouldn't change a thing that's happened." "Maybe we could've done without the street fight and car crash." "No." I kissed him. "Those men would've found you even if I wasn't there, and I don't want to think what might've happened to you. You were thinking of going with them, you fucking idiot." His eyes were soft, then hidden as he looked down. "What that man said. It still won't leave my head." "You never trust someone like that. Ever. No matter what." "What if what he said was true?" "Then there's some mob boss out there who wants to steal your business." I stroked the scar on his cheek. "It probably wasn't true. He was probably saying whatever, to get you to go with them nicely, so they could take you somewhere quiet and make it a clean job." "Yeah but-" "They weren't gonna let me go. I was a witness, they were gonna kill me, Darren." He held me tight. I was never going to tell him the other things I had thought about, how far my imagination could go. The thought of Darren becoming a victim of one of those horror news stories made my blood run cold. There's some sick people out there, who like to have 'fun' before they make their kill. Everything about that man set off every alarm I had. Maybe I was thinking all the worst possible things in an attempt to justify what I had done. To justify it to everyone else. In my heart, I was sound with what happened. Hopefully I'd never be in a situation for it to happen again, but I wasn't going to live with guilt for protecting Darren. "I guess I should call Jackson," he said. I knew why he was apprehensive about it. He wanted a break. He was scared of what news he might hear. He didn't want to hear about the current movements of the criminals hunting him down. It was still a surreal thing. I stroked my fingers through his hair, pulled back to study his face. His eyes were still soft. "Ty," he started. "I know you've practically been living here the past couple of months, but, do you want to move in? Like, properly." My heart fluttered. I didn't know what to say. "Yes, I... I'd like that. I'd love that." His face lit up with a smile. "I've got a lot of shit," I said. "I'm sure there's room for it." He started to get to his feet. "And hurry up with your new car, so we're not both sponging off Zack all the time." "You miss it, don't you?" "I liked your car." "I liked my car." I watched him head towards the kitchen, Amanda trotting behind him and almost getting beneath his feet. "Can't I just drive your Lambo for a bit, 'til it's sorted?" He paused, glanced over his shoulder. "I guess, yeah." Amanda stayed at the threshhold where the light wood turned into kitchen tiles, as well-behaved as ever. She looked around at me, her tongue hanging out, as if she wanted me to agree with her on how awesome Darren was. It's Who You Know Ch. 08 --- Darren For a couple of weeks, Tyler drove us around in my Lamborghini. It made me uncomfortable, and it wasn't only from my anxiety. It was the type of car that you only owned if you were a millionaire. Driving it around was like rubbing it in everyone's faces. We left it parked on the curb at the edge of town for ten minutes, and came back to a group of lads circling it, taking pictures on their phones. They startled and jumped back when it flashed at Tyler unlocking it - he seemed amused enough, smirking at them as he walked around to the door. I just felt obnoxious. Hi, I'm a rich cunt. Do you like my car? With the scissor doors, so it can't even fit in multi-story carparks if the ceiling is too low. Fucking hell. I couldn't wait to go to the dealer to pick up Tyler's new Chevy. * That year was going fast. Before I knew it, it was November. Amelia was running about all over the place, preparing for what was coming. Marcus kept coming around on errands from my uncle. My phone never stopped ringing. Even Zack barely left his office. The prototype impressed, and we beat competition. We were in contract with the military. The security of my company was going to be funded by the government. Jackson told me that he was going to do everything he could, to make sure I was kept up to date on whatever happened with the case. No more keeping me in the dark. I wanted to know, I deserved to know. There would forever be this grey cloud hanging over my life, but I accepted it. I wasn't going to live in fear. I wasn't going to stand down from what I had created, what I wanted to do, how I wanted to live. I could say that for more than just this trouble with the 'black market'. Jackson made sure that I would be more prepared, should something happen again. He was adamant that there would never be another slip-up, as my family was back under police protection, but he wanted to 'take precautions'. He got me in somewhere to take self-defence classes, and forced Tyler into it, too. He would be 'professionally taught how to subdue and apprehend, without excessive violence'. "So you don't fucking kill someone again." Tyler rolled his eyes. "All right, Ted." I couldn't do much more than shrug apologetically when Jackson gave me a look of daggers. He was going to be Ted forever, just as much as I could be 'babe', 'sweet-cheeks', 'honey-butt', and whatever the fuck else. He might have taken a bit too much pleasure in skillfully demonstrating a take-down on Tyler at the instructor's behest. When I was ordered to perform the same, Tyler was a giggling mess on the floor beneath me, clinging to my clothing to keep me on top of him. "Ted. Ted, I can't do this." "Why?" "I'm getting a massive boner." Even the instructor clasped a hand to his forehead. "Jesus fucking Christ." I was also taught how to wield firearms. But I wasn't supposed to put that skillset to use. Jackson informed me that he'd never had to. Firmly. Once I was striking a series of targets, reloading, and striking them again within the time limit, he nodded at me and crossed his arms. "Good thing you'll never be hitting a moving target, right?" Right. * We spent Christmas Day around Amelia's and Zack's. I don't think anything could have been a more homely atmosphere. This was the closest family I'd ever had, and it was good to see Amelia's parents again. They'd always treated me close to their own son. They were... pleasantly surprised, to learn of my relationship with Tyler. It was a bit strange that they already knew him. It reminded me of what Amelia said, with everything coming full circle. What was Christmas without a kid to get unfathomably excited about presents under the tree? David was what made that day so memorable. Amelia and Tyler had been working together on a present for him. They built a remote controlled car from scratch, using spare parts from the labs. Amelia had done most of the circuiting and Tyler had burnt himself, at least three times, soldering it all together. The paper came off in a flurry. David squealed and ran around the house before calming down enough to drive it, crashing it into everything while he learnt the controls. It was a sturdy thing, 90% metal, and Amelia was more concerned about her furniture. I wish I'd had a Mummy Lia and Uncle Tyler when I was a boy. He asked them why they hadn't made more, so they could race with him. They tossed each other glances before there was laughter. It had turned into a much bigger project than they had expected, filled with frustrations and swearing and something flying across the room. They weren't building another any time soon. But Zack and Amelia were thinking about making something else. "So we're thinking of trying for another baby," Amelia said that evening, once David was in bed and the wine had come out. "Bit of an age gap by now," Tyler replied. "Yeah, well. Better late than never? It's not like we've been taking measures to make sure I don't get pregnant all this time." She finished her glass and swung it slightly in her fingers. "If you must know, we've actually been trying for the past year, it just hasn't happened yet." "Zack's not potent enough." He snorted and tossed Tyler a scowl. Amelia tutted. "No, I think it's probably me. I don't know why, though. Wasn't like we had any trouble conceiving David, I never had any troubles with the pregnancy." "Body clock's a'ticking," Amelia's mother said, then gave a little clap. "Chop chop!" "Oh God, Mum. I'm not that old! Besides, you never gave me a brother or sister. You can't talk." "Just as well. You were enough on your own." "Pfft. Anyways, I'll probably go to the doctor and get checked out. I really hope there's nothing wrong." "I think you're fine, dear. Just unlucky." A little twinge in me watched Tyler closely, worried that I might see that distant expression where he imagined having his own child, raising his own family. It didn't happen. I think he was happy being a part-time uncle to David. He looked around and raised an eyebrow at me, as if he was reading my thoughts. "Are we trying, Darren? No? Good." Amelia's father wheezed loudly and poured himself another glass of wine. We spent Boxing Day with Tyler's family. He warned me multiple times how loud, crass, and working-class they all behaved, while half of them had always been middle-class and comfortable. I was prepared for it. His mother came from a large family with many siblings, so Tyler had a monstrous amount of aunts, uncles, and cousins. The gathering was around whoever had the largest house, and it was still cramped. There was a wide age range. His youngest cousin was 10, and the oldest nearly 40. Everybody in that family had to talk. And argue. And rip the shit out of each other while howling with laughter. Even amongst that crowd, Tyler still managed to take centre stage as the biggest clown. I was hearing just how loud his voice could go. Maybe the most interesting things had happened to him that year to put him in the spotlight. Everybody knew about his car crash. And me, apparently. They were taking the piss out of him relentlessly, calling him a gold-digger, and asking me how I put up with him, how good did he suck my dick to be worth keeping around. Nicole squawked loudly, letting them know how rude they were. And I had thought I was prepared. Tyler bathed in it with the biggest grin, pulled me against him, and kissed me in front of the whole family. There was an ear splitting chorus of hoots, laughter, and cheers. His 14 year old cousin went bright red in the face. Alcohol came out when I thought it couldn't get any worse, but Tyler was good, and didn't touch a drop. He seemed to know exactly when it was too much for me and the headache was splitting my skull - he tossed me my jacket, and dragged me into the cold dark outside for a walk, to show me a nearby park he had frequented as a kid. Which involved me getting pulled behind a chainlink fence, shoved against a tree, and having my dick sucked. "There you go," he said. "A full working-class experience." I chuckled, my breath clouding in the air. "Aren't we supposed to fuck in the tunnel in the playground?" "Oh God. If you want to, I'm up for it." "I'll pass." My uncle was used to rarely seeing me, outside of business and social events. Christmas time, for a long time, had been spent with Amelia, or alone. There was a gathering at New Year that he invited me to, and he told me to bring Tyler. He was really trying. Tyler, out of pure respect of how Vincent had helped out on the trial, kept his hands off me the entire night. To an untrained eye we wouldn't have looked much more than close friends. Save for a few too many smiles and looks. I'm sure my uncle appreciated it. I think Tyler was slowly realising he could fit into those environments. He looked good in that suit, no matter how much he denied it, and so long as he behaved himself, he was good at holding people's attention in conversation. He did like being centre of attention. And I liked watching him when he was so confident, cheerful, energetic. * By early February I was exhausted from work. There were so many things going on, constant hassle and upkeep, and I wanted a break. An escape, just for a little while. I wanted to take Tyler to New Zealand. We needed permission from his probation officer, and they granted it. He had been working hard to show what a sweet, well-behaved, and functional member of society he was. Whatever he was doing worked. We had no trouble, as I'd thought. Just ticking off boxes while months ticked past. I had booked the tickets in an instant, leaving everything up to Zack and Amelia for a couple of weeks. I told Tyler to pack light. A single suitcase. Amelia dropped us off at the airport and we were gone. He buzzed with excitement over the first class treatment. We stopped in a 5-star hotel in Los Angeles for a night, to break up the flight. I didn't often get to spoil him - he wasn't the type of person to let me - but seeing his giddy, boyish grin made my heart do flips. I also enjoyed the look on the receptionist's face as I checked in for the room with this handsome, besotted man hanging from my neck. I don't know if society as a whole will ever think it's normal. "Don't get used to it," I said, as he flopped onto the bed. "There's none of this when we arrive." He chuckled and clasped his hands to head. "I'd never get used to this. Fucking Beverly Hills. Hollywood. This is mental." I was a carefree, homeless backpacker in New Zealand. That was a holiday to me. No restrictions, no planning. Free to go wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted, by whatever means I could. I guess I cheated by having a generous budget to give me such freedom, cards in my wallet, but it was something I'd done multiple times, going alone each time. A character-building exercise, finding myself. Whatever you want to call it. The very idea of it had terrified me when I was younger. Which was why I had to do it. I was excited beyond words that this time I was sharing it with Tyler. Upon arrival in Auckland, we rented a car. I could have him drive us everywhere, anywhere. I was going to show him so many things. "Oh my God," he said. "They drive on the left." "You didn't know?" "I thought, like, the whole rest of the world just drove on the right." "Dumbass." Some of that holiday was simply spent driving around, exploring. South Island had most of the best sights. One rainy night was spent in the backseat, other ones beneath the stars. Camping gear was easily bought. The only thing we had to worry about was petrol. And food. There's something serene, yet powerful, about nature. It's hard to ever feel like you're in the wilderness in England. The whole land has been tamed, churned up. I didn't know how Tyler would react to being dragged out into the middle of nowhere. Better than I ever could have hoped. I'd never seen him be so quiet. Cheerful without his laughter. It was amazing. "This is like some cheesy romance movie," he said, as we laid on sleeping bags staring at a clear night sky. "I love it." I made sure to take him skydiving early, before he had time to think about it and back out. He couldn't believe we were doing it. He was trembling as we climbed higher and higher in the plane. Thousands of feet. Swearing profusely and chuckling his terrified chuckle. "Fuck, Darren." There were four others with us in the plane, and I was going first. It was maybe my fifth time doing it. I didn't have the same nerves. I simply grinned at Tyler as I pulled the goggles over my eyes, standing with my instructor, who had his back to the door. When I was ready I leant into him and we fell out, tumbling, somersaulting, air ripped from my lungs as I laughed, before steadying. There's no words to describe how incredible the freefall is. The view of the world. It's always over too fast, while seeming to last forever. Tyler's distant screeching pierced through the sky above me, second to jump out the plane. They could probably hear him all the way down on the ground. I loved him so much. He was still shaking when he landed, struggling out of the straps and barely able to stand with so much adrenaline and nerves. He rolled about on the grass a bit, laughed, gasped, and ran in a circle around me before tackling me. He was completely alive after that. Up for anything. I almost had trouble keeping pace. Tyler would climb a mountain just because it was there. "You like swimming?" I asked. "Want to swim with sharks?" "What? You mean where they stick you in a cage with Great Whites?" "Yes." "Are you fucking serious?" "Yes." "Where?!" It might have been the most amazing couple weeks of my life. I'd never had something like Tyler before. Not just a lover, but a companion. Someone who wanted to be beside me every step of the way. We finished it up with a nature hike, in a guided group. Three more days in wilderness. The guide was hot, we both agreed on that like a pair of giggling teenagers at the back of the line. The guy realised what we were, fast, and took a lot of interest. He kept finding excuses to talk to us alone. My gaydar was going off straight away even if it took Tyler a little longer to realise. "Shit, you seriously think so?" "Yes." "You better be right or I'm about to look a total fool." He decided to flirt, to prove it. The guy looked worried at first, head turning to find me. So I joined in. He was a little bewildered and bashful. Not that I could blame him, the pair of us coming onto him so heavily, cornering him away from the group. Then he got more brazen. We couldn't believe it. I'm not sure what happened. Chemistry happened. At the end of the hike we were taking a madly attractive Kiwi back to a hotel for a threesome. We'd pulled a versatile one who was willing to bottom. So we took turns fucking him, almost wrestling and laughing about it. We both wanted a piece of him. Tyler being Tyler, then offered to let the guy fuck him. So we spent the rest of the night taking turns to hold down and top Tyler. I hadn't even realised I was so adventurous, I wasn't sure how I would find it. It was insanely hot. "So that was amazing," Tyler said, collapsed on the bed in exhaustion after the guy had left. I chuckled from the en suite. "Are we doing it again back in England?" "Shit. Only if we find another sexy one like that." I looked around through the door. "What if you wanna have some fun with women again?" "What?" "I'd be willing to try with women, if you really wanted. Just don't know if it'd do much for me." "Nah, Darren. It's all good. You let me stick my dick in you sometimes. Maybe I'll miss tits, but your pecs are pretty nice." I chuckled more, turning the shower on. I'd already showered a couple hours ago, but God, I needed another one. "You coming?" "Carry me." We made our way back to Auckland, pawned off the camping gear, returned the car. Took a taxi to the airport. I was touched down three times through customs - they couldn't find what the hell was setting off the detectors. Tyler stood laughing, probably hoping they'd do a damn strip search. Each pat down got more... thorough. I don't think the steadily growing line of people behind found it so amusing. He sat with his head against my shoulder at the gate, waiting to board, flicking through his phone. He'd taken some pictures of things, but he was nothing like Nicole. "Are we doing this again next year?" The thought of him still being with me a year later was incredible. --- Tyler Life goes fast when you're enjoying yourself. Amelia came into my office while I was typing up an important email, setting down a mug of coffee I hadn't even asked for. I tore my eyes off the screen to frown at it. "What did I do to be treated nice?" She chuckled. "Do you know what day it is?" "What?" "It's two years since you started working here." I moved my mouse to check the date. Shit. She gave my shoulder an affectionate squeeze. "It's been great having you here. And I have some news." "Is it good news? If it's bad, let me finish this first." "I think it's good." "Think?" "All your sleeping with the boss has finally paid off in getting you that promotion." "... What?" "We need you to cover my role, Ty." "What? You're not quitting, are you?" "No, no. I'm so busy. I'm needed for other things. We're expanding, I'm spending so much time out of the building, and I have the baby, and, well. I want you to be head of the department. You're always here and you do such a good job already." I didn't know what to say. "Is this permanent? Or just until things settle down?" "Permanent." "You're not expecting me to stay locked up in this office, are you?" She grinned. "Don't worry, I'm going to handle everything from the outside. You just focus on what's here. You belong in the labs." She left me alone and I stared at the screen for a moment, then picked up my phone to call Darren's office. He didn't answer, so I called his mobile. "Ty-" "Let me guess, you're in a meeting?" "Telepath." "Prick. You're promoting me?" His chuckle sounded down the phone. "How about you go to my office in, about, thirty minutes' time, and we can discuss it there." "Shall I make sure to sprawl suggestively across your desk?" "Keep the coat and goggles." "Hot." "Bye." * It wasn't that I didn't recognise the man who had walked into that restaurant in the black and red checkered shirt. I was still him. I was just... different. I didn't think I would find love. It's not that I was consciously pessimistic, thinking I was going to spend a life alone, scoffing at couples and flaming Valentine's Day. I just never had an opinion on conventionally romantic things, as I didn't see them as things that would ever effect me. The traditionalist memo of how to live never got drilled into me. Get married, settle down, have kids, work 9-5, see your family a couple times a year. It meant nothing to me. I had always wanted to live life my own way, I just wasn't always very good at it. Lots of people called me wild, adventurous. Even Darren. I wasn't really sure how true it was. I wasn't one of those people who needed the expansive space of the sky to drift wherever they pleased. I wanted direction, something to carve through, work towards. I was like a river. I'd find my own way to the sea, but I did want to get there. People called Darren intense, stubborn, even difficult. He was all of those things. But he was also warm and squishy beneath his cold exterior. I had never met anyone who always had the best intentions behind everything that they did. When you've met a lot of selfish people, assholes, people who live in the darker end of the morality scale, you can find it hard to believe that someone as good-natured as Darren is genuine, without an ulterior motive. It's Who You Know Ch. 08 I'd have bursts of wondering why I deserved him. Wondering what exactly I was giving him that meant he kept me around. I mean, yeah, I made him laugh a lot. I enjoyed his company. We usually had the same opinions on things. We had amazing sex. And...? Did it have to be more? I got stumped by the same question if I asked it of myself. Why did I love him? Because I just... did. Did I need a bunch of reasons to justify it? He had, essentially, taken me in, let me into his life, slowly and earnestly showed me every inch of him. He had given me what I wanted, what I needed, brought out the best in me, and now I was going to be running this company beside him, and Amelia, and Zack. We were all in this together. I wanted something to show my dedication. To prove that I was in it for the long haul. I was so grateful for what I had and I needed some way to show it. I spent a while desperately trying to think of something. I was supposed to be creative, yet I ended up with the most cliche and obvious thing in the world. And I wasn't even sure if it was a good idea, if it would be well received. I was taking a gamble. * There was a big company pep talk, to make sure everyone was on the same page with the future, the new directions, the expansions. Things were getting even bigger. It was a glorious thing, every employee crammed in the presentation hall to listen. Darren was a good public speaker, and I think it was aided by nobody working there having a legitimate bad thing to say about him. Yes, he could be strict and expect sharp discipline, but he treated everyone well. He expected the best of people, but he knew it was important to bring it out of them. I think he knew every person there by name. Nobody was hired lightly and there had been very, very few firings. He was a man who turned heads whenever he walked into a room, even if he didn't always want to. Everybody knew who he was. The boss, the CEO. That tall, good-looking fashionable guy, with the deep and piercing voice to accompany his steely gaze. A calm demeanour that still radiated passion. God, I just sat there like a starry-eyed, smitten young boy, watching him. I don't think he had intended to work humour into his speech, but something came out sounding a little too amusing and he was already smirking. The moment he locked eyes with a giggling Amelia he lost it. His bouncing, hitching chuckle sounded out down the microphone and the whole room responded the same. He tried about three more times before he managed to finish the sentence. It was a surprisingly suave ice-breaker that was a complete accident. He talked about the beginnings, of course. Things already achieved, things to be achieved. New company partnerships. The direction and future. And honestly he was good at doing it without sounding pretentious. He was too much of a grounded person to pull off that overly dreamy shit. Harry also stood up to talk briefly. Amelia had her own speech. Then it was my turn, because of my promotion. I don't think I'd have been able to do it two years ago. At least not without stammering and messing it up. I still felt some nerves as I stepped up to the podium. I wasn't used to the top button of my shirt being done up. The damn suit. I had intended to work humour into my speech. I had a basic outline of what I wanted to say, but once I was getting into it I looked less at the paper and improvised more. It was a delicate balance of being personal, while not being too personal. I was trying to tell this whole room of people how grateful I was for what I had, while not making myself look a simpering mess who didn't deserve it. I joked about any complaints of my incompetence to be forwarded directly to Amelia, as I was not asked if I wanted the position, I was told. Anyone who knew her understood exactly what I meant. "Such is her way, huh?!" someone from the labs called out. I kept having to wait for bursts of laughter to die down before I continued. My relationship with Darren was no secret. So, of course, the jokes about sleeping my way to the top had to come out. And then a remark that actually, I wasn't exactly the top. At one point I heard Zack's guffaw ringing out above everything else. I followed it up with a deeper moment, apologising for how I nearly took Darren away from everyone with my poor driving. The crash had been a renowned event, especially as it had been on local news. It was just the true reasons of why it had happened that nobody knew. The silence that descended into the room was unsettling. I had to lighten it again. I was so close to messing up. A part of my speech was dedicated to shamelessly praising what an awesome person and boss Darren was. I was sure to let them know that he'd got me back for putting him through a scare like the crash, because he had convinced me to jump out a plane. I had a photo of us, taken maybe 2 minutes before we took the skydive, courtesy of the company's website, and I brought it up on the screen behind me. Cue the laughter. It really was a perfect picture of Darren chuckling, and me looking like I was shitting myself. "Yeah," I agreed into the microphone. "Someone who's a bit brown like me isn't supposed to look that pale." Darren was clasping a hand to his brow, his whole body bouncing in his seat. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that every person in this room is lucky to be working here. You all have your own stories, and this is mine." I waved a hand at Darren. "Why don't you come up here?" I'm quite sure his voice, even if it was quiet compared to mine with the microphone, could easily be heard at the back. "Are you going to embarrass me?" There were enough murmuring chuckles to suggest plenty had heard it. "Yes," my amplified voice replied, "most likely." The chuckles turned into louder laughter, but Darren got to his feet with a grin and stepped up. He stood beside me on the podium, incredibly close, eyebrow raised in expectance. I resisted the urge to kiss him. I leant in a little to the microphone instead. "I probably shouldn't be doing this, as everyone knows I'm the 'woman' in this relationship." I think he realised. There was a flicker in his expression. I stepped away from the podium, reaching into my pocket. Got down on one knee. The room fucking erupted before I even opened the little box. "Will you marry me?" I don't know if he could have even heard me over the racket. There was an insane applause, people leaping to their feet. Shit. I mean, maybe I really hadn't thought this through. Talk about putting him on the spot if he wanted to say no. His eyes were wide, darting from my face to the box. Sure, he had realised I was up to something. He was still shocked. His hand clasped at his jaw, fingers tugging on his bottom lip. --- Darren I knew he was going to do something soppy. I thought it would be a kiss, declaring his love in front of everyone, making more jokes. God damn it, Tyler. I hadn't seen it coming. It didn't seem the sort of thing someone like him would do. My mind was racing. Did he even know what he was doing? Did he know what it meant? Did he really mean it? Was he just trying to be flashy and put on a show? My brain might have been screaming but my heart wasn't. His dark eyes were melting me, a little wider than normal as they looked up at me, brows slightly tilted. I stood there, shocked, leaving him hanging. It seemed so long, in reality probably a couple of seconds. I didn't even know what to do. How was I supposed to accept this gesture? Leap into his arms and squeal? In front of my fucking company? I was shaking slightly as I reached out, first touching his hands, then moving my fingers to the ring. It was a thick silver band, engraved, with a single small diamond set in flat. It was beautiful. Tyler was grinning, getting to his feet, taking it from my trembling fingers. The room got louder again. He pushed it onto my ring finger. You know, wasn't delicate or anything. Just shoved it on. I wanted to laugh. My eyes were watering. God damn it. I held him tight, hiding my face in his neck. He squeezed me back. I needed to face this room of people. Do something, other than sway in his embrace. For a moment, I didn't want to. Maybe he had ruined it for himself, that he would never know my true reactions in private. Or maybe this was it. This was exactly what I would have done. I don't think I cared about the spectators. I pulled back, and kissed him. It wasn't too heavy, but it certainly wasn't chaste. Someone was practically shrieking. Amelia, that was who. I'm amazed she contained herself, and didn't come charging up to tackle the pair of us. Tyler had that giddy grin. I stepped away and wiped my eyes. He leant in to the microphone again as he passed it back to his seat. "He said yes." There was more laughter. I tried to gather my composure as I went up to the podium. Stood there in silence. Cleared my throat. So many smiling faces. I hardly remember what I said, I was simply spewing something out to try and wrap things up as fast as I could. I was half chuckling through it, holding back tears. Then I stood down with a 'thank you'. They applauded again. Was this really happening? A whole room of people cheering at witnessing a gay engagement? There had to be some there who were grinding their jaws and shaking their heads. I was straight into Tyler's arms again. The room was dismissed, people were getting to their feet and spreading out. People were coming over to congratulate. It was a blur of conversations. Words. Handshakes. I didn't like loud, murmuring rooms at the best of times, and I was in a bit of a daze. I wanted to get away, and Zack knew it. He covered me. With my fingers locked in Tyler's we slipped out. "Where we going?" he asked as I tugged him along the corridor. "My office. We need to talk." --- Tyler He scared me a bit. I hadn't meant for it all to become such a big fuss. I knew he hated stuff like that. I hadn't thought it through. I'm sorry. Oh God, please don't be angry. Okay, no. He was kissing me. Was it an angry kiss? My knees were weak and I was fumbling around. He shoved me through the door. Shit. Was he going to fuck me on his desk or something? No, he just stopped. Stood there and stared at me. "Do you have any idea what you're doing?" That... hurt. A surprising lot. I frowned and straightened. "Asking you to spend the rest of your life with me with legal documents?" He was worried. I saw it now. His gaze moved down to his hands, the ring. It was the way he held the hand in front of his heart, thumb stroking the silver, that it finally hit me how much what I had done meant to him. "Are you sure about this?" he asked. "Yes." "I never would have asked you this, I wouldn't want-" "I know. We could be together ten years and you'd never fucking ask me. So I had to do it. Is two years okay? Is it too fast? I don't see the point in waiting any longer. This is what I want." "... I love you." "I love you too." * I couldn't think of any reason why we wouldn't last forever. I don't believe in things like soulmates, but as far as compatibility goes, we were pretty good. I couldn't think of a single argument we'd ever had that wasn't resolved within 30 seconds of saying shit at each other. We just didn't have problems like that. I don't hold onto things and Darren always seeks harmony. I found it absurd that to the outside world, I looked like the one who would instigate a breakup. Were they crazy? Where was I going to find someone better than him? We didn't get sick of each other. I gave him space if he needed it. The longer I was with him the better I understood him, until something as subtle as the way he touched his brow told me what a sentence of words could. He didn't have much trouble reading me, either. He didn't get boring. The sex didn't get boring. As far as my sexuality went, I suppose I was choosing a side, and I was cool with that. A lifetime of his eyes, his face, those shoulders and that waist? Yes fucking please. I loved him. This was what love was to me, and it was an awesome discovery. --- Darren Getting rings on our fingers wasn't an ending. It was a beginning. We still had a lifetime to live. A company to run. A war with the black market. I could face everything knowing Tyler had my back, always. He told me my life was like a movie. Maybe more like a soap opera. I guess he was right. I didn't manage to be very normal, as much as I tried. Business life expanded. So did the private. The inner circle of family was always my escape, and my support at the same time. I was so lucky to have what I did. I don't think everyone had something like that through the hard times that were to come. I watched it grow. Another child. An adoption. A girlfriend. Damn. David grew up fast. ---