11 comments/ 44983 views/ 52 favorites Going Home Ch. 01 By: armywife2009 Oh Jameson, sweet Jameson, how I haven't missed you. These were my thoughts as I drove my jeep down the bumpy road leading to my parents house. I hated this town. I hoped I never had to come back in all honesty. I loved my folks, like every kid should, but this town? I could do without. I watched the old signs flash by as I hit 80. Nothing had changed. I looked in the rear view mirror as an Jameson county sheriff pulled out behind me, blue lights flashing. Nope, nothing had changed. I sighed and pulled the jeep off to the curve as the cop caught up to me, those blue lights annoying the shit out of my eyes. Mr. Russell James Brooks got out of the sheriff car, pulling up his belt over his huge beer gut and straightening his hat like something straight out of a western. He sauntered up to my vehicle and peered in my open window like he didn't know who I was. This whole damn town knew who I was. "Well, well, well what do we have here?" Russell said and I fought very hard not to roll my eyes. I even almost won. "Still watching those Westerns, huh Russell?" I said, voice un worried. My mom would hurt him one good if he actually gave me a ticket and we both knew it. His old face got red with embarrassment and he said the only thing that came to mind. "That's Mr. Brooks to you Johnny Hedge, and I'll ask you kindly not to forget it again!" I rolled my eyes yet again, not bothering to fight the urge and nodded, "Whatever you say Mr. Brooks, now I got to get on before my mom starts looking for me. Neither of us want that true?" Russell shook his head, "Only you could get pulled over your first day back in town Johnny." I smiled, "You know me, got to keep up pretenses." Russell's face got serious and I knew I wasn't going to like what he had to say next. "Listen Johnny, things have been...rough since you left. Be careful around here ok? Let's just say that certain people never gave up looking for ya." I knew exactly who these certain people were and I nodded, reaching out a hand, "Thanks man." Russell hesitated but he took my hand in a firm grip. We might bicker... a lot but we knew each other, Russell and I. We both came from the same place. I pulled out after he walked away, shaking my head. Well this already wasn't a promising day. I drove another ten miles, memories running crazy through my head as I passed down the road I had lived on my entire life. God so much had happened here it wasn't even funny. Car races, out running cops, running away from home. Whatever a kid could do I had done. How a trouble maker like me had got a diploma at all was a mystery. It's not like I ever went to class. No, it definitely wasn't because of smarts. I shook that train of thought off before I could finish it. I wasn't here to go down memory road, no I was here to take care of mother, who had a brain tumor. God I still remembered that phone call I had gotten a month ago. Sitting in my apartment in Florida I glared at my cell phone as it rang, I was so comfy, curled up watching Jason X. I cursed as it kept ringing, slowly unfolding myself out of the chair and grabbing it. "Yes?" I said curtly, this was a good part of the movie and I was missing it. "Johnny?" The soft voice belonged to one and only person. I clenched the phone in my hand. "Eric?" I said softly, tone disbelieving. I couldn't think of one damn reason why my brother would call me. We didn't exactly like each other. "Mom has a brain tumor Johnny, a bad one. She can have surgery but she has no insurance and even if she did it might not work. She needs about 20 grand for the surgery. I can't fly out there Johnny, I don't know why I'm calling but I figured since I can't leave you might be able to...ah hell Johnny, can you help or what?" My brother was in the U.S. Army, and he was currently serving in Iraq. He had already used his emergency leave once when his wife had their first girl, I had heard about that from a friend that still lived in Jameson, I wasn't sure if he could leave again. Even if he could he didn't have the money to save mom. "Fuck man." I said, sighing, rubbing a hand through my blonde hair. "Look Johnny, we both know you're not going to let her die. Do whatever you have to do, I mean it little brother." Eric's voice was hard and unforgiving. He knew I had means of getting the money to save her, even if it would kill me to get it. "Eric. You know if I go back...to him...I won't be able to get out again." My voice was carefully blank. I couldn't think about this, I couldn't. There was no choice, I had to save my mom, end of story. Eric sighed over the phone, "I know Johnny." So that was how I was here. Again. In a town I had swore I wouldn't come back to for at least another three years. Five years is long enough for people to forget, cool down. Two years? Not even close to enough time. My mom didn't even know I was coming, though she probably guessed. I was bluffing to Russell about her waiting for me, I could go now, or four hours from now and she'd never know. I pulled into my old driveway, smiling at Cletis, the old great Dane that sat by the road, as always watching out. He didn't eve bark at my jeep. Two years or two months, Cletis could never forget this beat up hunk of junk. I pulled to a halt in front of my mom's house. It wasn't big by any means, but it was the only home I can ever remember having. Two bedrooms, a big barn in the back, and two great Danes that never grew up. Add one cat and two fish and my mom had her own family, even after my brother and I left and daddy passed away. I took a deep breath and got out of the jeep, closing the door quietly in case momma was sleeping. I walked up the front steps to my childhood home and couldn't make myself cross the threshold. I had put my momma through so much since I turned 16, hell even before that. I left to get away from it all, and to give her one less son to worry about. I wasn't sure if I could put her through it all again. As I stood there, pondering, the door swung open and my momma stood on the other side, looking at me with calm eyes and a small smile. "Well...you gonna stand outside all day? Your gonna catch your death in this weather, now come in here boy." I could have cried at her warm country voice. God it felt so good to be home. Ten minutes later my bags were in my old bedroom and I was sitting at the dining room table, staring across it at my momma. She didn't even look different. The same worry lines, that same crinkle of her eyes when she smiled, the same warm voice. The same iron clad pride and stubbornness she had held my entire life. This was one woman you should never mistake for a nice sweet old lady. She was 49 and she could give you a tongue lashing that made you feel like you were ten years old when you were 30. My brother and I both knew that. Granted I was only 24 and he was 28 but it still worked the same when she yelled at us. "What are you doing here Johnny, besides giving Russell Brooks a run for his money?" She was sipping a cup of tea and didn't even bother to hide the fact that she somehow knew what had happened. I had been in town an hour and she already knew. I didn't even waste my breath asking how she knew. She knew when I had lost my virginity...on the OTHER side of town. I walked in around midnight and she asked me if I had used a condom. It hadn't even been ten minutes earlier. "I'm here to help you get the surgery you need momma. You know why I'm here. Eric can't be, and I love you." She put down the cup and stared at me across the table. After about a minute I successfully felt about two inches tall. It's amazing how she can make you feel like crap when you hadn't done anything wrong. "And just how, Johnny James Hedge, do you plan on doing that?" I hated it when she used my full name, I just plain hated it. "Look momma I got 15,000 in my savings account that was meant to go towards college that you and daddy saved up for. We both know it's never going to be used, I'm not going to college and I don't see me settling down with a guy and having kids in the near...or far future. All I need is 5,000 more and well be set! I was thinking of going up to Wade Dearborn and asking him if he needed an extra hand with construction. Eric told me you had about 6 months before the surgery was a total month and that's plenty of time!" She just stared at me the whole time I talked. I hated it when she did that. It made everything I said feel stupid as soon as it left my mouth. Finally she sighed, the tension she was holding in her body slowly deflating until she looked as fragile and sick as she was. "I thought...I thought you were going to..." I stood up, walking over to her and hugging her tightly, "Mom I wouldn't do that unless I absolutely had to. I hope you know that." She reached up to pat my hand, "I do now son, I do now." Chapter two: Old friends The next day I was up around 8 am and heading to the store. Mom hadn't really had the energy lately to do anything and she needed groceries. I was looking at her list, walking down the canned food isle when I bumped smack into another body. "Oh shit man I'm sorry." I said automatically before looking up. My body broke out in chills as Leslie McGee looked down at me. His face was a mask of surprise as he looked at me, towering above my 5'9 frame at 6'4. "Johnny." He whispered, his hand reaching out towards me instinctively. I backed up, scared and he dropped his hand. "We've been looking all over the place for you Johnny boy. Where ya been?" His voice was the menacing growl I knew so well now. "Don't call me that Leslie, manly man." His face darkened instantly, "I hate it when you call me that Johnny boy. Why are you pressing your luck here? We both know I'll beat the shit out of you in two seconds flat." I took a deep breath and forced myself to stand up straight, "Fine. Truce. I'm Johnny, not Johnny boy and your Leslie, plain and simple ok? Now can you move. Please." It took a lot out of me to say please to him but he didn't move either way. "You think I'm just gonna let you go Johnny?" His voice was actually surprised, and I rolled my eyes. "I'm not here for you Leslie...or for him. I'm here because my momma is dying. Plain and simple. I need to get going ok? I don't got a lot of time." I went to move past him and his hand wrapped around the back of my neck, pushing me harshly against the cans behind me. "I have to tell him you're here Johnny. You might be able to brush me off today, but you know he'll come looking for you. Two years isn't nearly long enough if you had hoped to be forgiven and forgotten by now." I looked up into his deep brown eyes and sighed, "I didn't want to come back Leslie, not two years later, hell not even five years later. I didn't have a choice. It was either come back, or let my momma die." He let me go after a second, smoothing my shirt down. I think he just wanted to touch me. After all he was the first lover I ever had before...before. Even when I got involved with his boss, we still got to play sometimes, well all three of us. We were all so very close. It was just as hard not to reach out to him when he reached for me. Memories came flooding back and suddenly it was much easier to move away. "Have a good day manly." I walked past him and Leslie had to fight not to come after me, I saw his body vibrating with the effort. He wouldn't though, no he would report back like a good little bitch, and I knew what would happen then. I knew I wouldn't have long after I got back into town but damn it I thought I would have longer than this. When I got done shopping I checked out, not unaware of the unfriendly looks I got the entire time. I wasn't welcome in this town anymore, not after everything I had done, and I knew that. They would deal with me because of my momma, they respected the hell out of her no matter what they thought of me. I went and saw Wade Dearborn after that, and he of course knew of my mother's illness. He told me he would love an extra hand, and that I could start beginning of next week. Id be making 11 bucks an hour and get about 30 hours a week. If I kept it up for the next six months, hell the next four even my mom would be ok, maybe even have some extra if it was needed. When I got back to the house my momma was asleep and Aunt Carol was there. She gave me a kiss as she was walking out as I was walking in. "Make your momma some soup honey, I've got to run down to Fairngton, gonna get her some of that fancy pain medicine the doctor recommended." I knew that Fairngton was about an hour away and I was looking forward to some trips down memory lane in my old room. I was just starting the potato soup when there was a knock at the door. I figured Aunt Carol had forgotten something and called out to come in without looking over. "Hey Aunt Carol what did you--" I cut off as I looked up, expecting to see my Aunt Carol, instead looking up into eyes so light blue they were almost white. My blood ran cold with fear. "Luke." I whispered. Luke smiled that beautiful white smile that had stole my heart when I was 16 and flipped the lock on my front door, locking us in and taking the key out of the lock, pocketing it. "Hey Johnny boy. We need to talk." Going Home Ch. 01 Please give me the support of your vote. * Virginia meets Jerry, a man who just wants to talk while drawing her face. Ginny had never been anywhere outside of Detroit. Working while caring for her elderly, alcoholic mother, she didn't have the money or the time to travel. Born there, raised there, and educated there, she lived there for 30 of the 35-years of her life with her mother until her mother died three years ago. Now no longer dependent upon her mother's meager Social Security check to help make the rent and make ends meet, she was alone. With Detroit in between Lake Erie and Lake Huron, once such a beautiful place to live, she saw the city go from very good to very bad. Embracing everyone as her friend, she watched her happy, trustful, and innocent disposition turn sad, distrustful, and wary of strangers. As if there was always the fear of a storm brewing, there was always too much unrest and so much rage and evilness in the air. A product of her environment, her environment had a way of changing her, affecting her, and morphing her into someone else, a person she no longer liked and sometimes didn't even recognize. Perhaps if she lived in Beverly Hills or on some tropical island, she'd be a different person. Yet, with her growing up and living in Detroit, if she didn't keep her wits about her and her guard, walls, and barriers up at all times, she'd nothing more than a victim and another statistic of crime on a police blotter. Along the way she met a man, Jerry, where she worked as a waitress at the diner. Even though she was there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner five days a week, she made very little money. Unlike any man she's known who just wanted to have his wicked, sexual way with her big tits, he just wanted to talk. Being that talk doesn't cost her anything, she could do that as long as that's all he wanted to do, just talk. A savvy and street smart young woman, with her ready to put a stop to their private conversations, she was always waiting for the other shoe to fall where he no longer wanted to talk but to have sex. With him not flirting with her, talking dirty to her, and/or disrespecting her with his leering looks, he was good to her and he treated her with respect. Accustomed to meeting mashers and players, she never met a man like him before. With him much older than she was, in his late sixties or early seventies, there was no thoughts of romance on her part. They were just friends. With her alone, she could use a friend. With her feeling so lonely, sometimes she wished he was thirty years younger or she was thirty years older. Unlike other men who weren't as good to her, this man didn't want anything from her, expect anything of her, or ask her for anything. He just wanted to talk so they talked for hours. Talking about everything and laughing over nothing, they talked, just talked. A first time for everything, surprising even her, he didn't even ask her for sex, which is why she enjoyed doing small favors for him. Maybe that was his play and his way to secretly and stealthily seduce her. He was going to trick her into having sex with him by pretending he was above all of that. He was going to trick her into having sex with him by pretending that he wasn't interested in her and her big tits. Maybe once he convinced her that he was more her friend than just another degenerate man, she'd trust him enough to let her guard down and believe all that he told her. Yet, with her always wearing a too tight and one size too small uniform top, he never stared at her breasts and/or leered at the cleavage that she showed for the sake of getting bigger tips. He never made sexually suggestive or inappropriate comments as do most of her older, male customers. If she called any of them on their bluff, they'd probably have to take a blue or a yellow pill before they could give her what she needs. Sadly, the only men she meets at the diner are men at the bottom of the barrel instead of men on the top of the hill. For sure, if they could afford a better meal, they wouldn't be frequently her greasy spoon diner that had over cooked coffee and stale donuts, but cheap prices. With him being one of her regulars and always sitting at her table, coming in for a cup of coffee and a piece of apple pie, seemingly all that he could afford, he just like drawing her, not her naked body, just her face. It wasn't real drawings, just pencils marks, scribbling, and sketches he'd do on a paper napkin or on a pad he always carried with him or on papers that he pulled out of his pockets. With him sticking the sketches in his pad when he was done and saving them, obviously the drawings meant more to him than they did to her. Some of the pictures he drew looked more like her than did others. Some of the pictures he drew fascinated her that someone could capture her within five minutes of scrawling a few lines on 5 x 8 inch piece of paper. Perhaps his fascination with drawing her face was his secret sexual perversion to keep. Perhaps he masturbated over the pictures he drew of her when he returned home. "You're pretty," he said, the first time showing any interest in her at all as a woman instead of just as his art model. Seemingly and intuitively, he somehow knew she needed to hear him say that. Yet, he shocked her with his kind comment. With no one ever calling her pretty, she wondered if his compliment was sincere. "Thank you," she said with him making her day whether he was sincere or not. With her talking to no one but her customers, by her surprised reaction and beaming smile, she was obviously hungry for a compliment. "You have an interesting face. You have a face that I never tire of drawing," he said looking from her to look at the sketch he was drawing of her. Whenever he looked at her like that with his stare so focused on her face, he looked as if he was trying to read her mind in addition to reading her face. With her feeling self-conscious by his stare and with her never liking to be the center of attention other than when in the diner, she had a habit of looking away. "Thank you," she said again not accustomed to anyone complimenting her plain face and staring at her for such a long, length of time. He made her wish she had a man in her life. He made her feel as horny as she felt lonely. Only women who looked like her never lived happily ever after as those tall, blonde, beautiful, busty women do in fairy tales or in Hollywood. All the men she knew, even the plain looking men, wanted a woman who had a face of a model and a body of a stripper. All the men she knew ended up with a bitch. She'd settle for any of the men she knew but with none of them giving her a second look, seemingly she wasn't good looking enough for them to settle for her. She'd be happy finding an average looking guy who worked at a decent job, who wasn't a drunk, who didn't beat her, and who didn't live with his mother. She'd be happy have two or three children, albeit plain looking children. Being that they'd be her children, they'd be beautiful children and she'd love them in the way that no one but her mother loved her. * * * * * Ginny didn't have many friends but Jerry was her friend. An older man, she enjoyed viewing him as the Dad she never had. Taking time with her and talking to her as if she was his equal or the daughter he never had, he taught her things. He taught about things that have already happened and about why they happened. He taught her how to know things before they happen. Seemingly he had an intuitive finger on world events, on the pulse of the economy, on all things political, and on people. Even though she was street smart having grown up in Detroit, she wasn't streetwise like Jerry. She could read people but not like Jerry could. He knew everything. Seemingly with nothing he didn't know, there weren't any questions that he couldn't answer. With her still fairly young and still feeling invincible, when confronted with a threat, she'd face danger head on while he'd rather stay in the shadows as an observer and let danger pass him by and go on to another victim. With everyone having a gun these days, especially in Detroit, her confronting her attacker was a foolhardy strategy. Only she couldn't change how she was brought up as a tough, street, city girl from Detroit. Maybe because she knew so very many people from the local diner but she was lucky that nothing bad has happened to her yet. With Detroit infested with as much crime as it was infested with roaches and rats, living there safely was growing harder to do. Inevitably one day something bad would happen to her if she didn't get out of there soon. Some drugged daze juvenile would shoot her dead for a dollar or some armed killer would rob the diner and take her as his hostage. Jerry was mugged once, hit from behind and knocked to the ground for his watch. It wasn't an expensive watch, just a quartz watch that ran on a battery that he used to tell the time, the day, and the date. His face was badly bruised and scratched from his head hitting the sidewalk hard. After taking that blow to the back of his head head and hitting the front of his head on the sidewalk, he sometimes forgets what day it was. He was lucky to have survived such a brutal attack. He was lucky they didn't shoot him. Whether police or criminal, black or white, they shoot everyone in Detroit and not all of the shootings are reported or even investigated. Too many bodies suddenly disappear in Lake Eerie or Lake Huron only to get tangled up somewhere. Finally, they resurface miles away on the distant shore from the current. Identified by a toe tag as a John or Jane Doe in a morgue, too many people go missing and too many murders in Detroit go unsolved. As always there's a reason for everything, the reason why he lived that day was for him to tell her his story. Whether good or bad, everyone has a uniquely different story to tell and he had a good one yet to tell her. Only it wouldn't be until after he died that she'd hear his story. "It's not my time to go," said Jerry holding out his hand that was rock steady, his way of showing her that he still had plenty of life in him. "Trust me. I'll know my time when it comes but it's not here yet." She bought him a new watch at the pawnshop, one with the day and date. One of the few possessions he cherished, he didn't look as if he could afford to replace his watch. Certainly, he didn't look like he had anything. Looking much like a homeless person, he wore these old clothes all the time with paint marks all over them. She wondered if he found his clothes in a dumpster. He didn't smell. He was clean but he never shaved. In the way that Vincent van Gogh always had a scraggly beard, he had a scraggly beard that he didn't trim. Obviously his appearance wasn't as important to him as was the faces he drew. In the frightful mess that his hair was always in, he'd cover his head with a baseball cap rather than comb or brush his hair, she wondered if he even had a mirror. * * * * * When the weather grew colder and Jerry stopped coming to the diner, she went to his house to bring him some coffee, a piece of pie, or whatever food the diner had that they were getting ready to discard anyway. After a while, whenever he didn't make an appearance at the diner, she went to his loft to check on him. With her having nothing to go home to, not even a cat or a dog, sometimes she visited him after work just to talk. Jerry lived in one, very large room in a building that looked condemn and no doubt should be condemned. Many of the building that surrounded his building were abandoned and condemned. With his room the entire top floor of a five story building, the building had an old, dirty, glass ceiling. It was the kind of ceiling that was trimmed with copper. All of these building must have been grand buildings when they were built in the Gilded Age, the late 19th century. Oxidized by time and the weather, the copper had a nice green patina to it. Perhaps if there had been more copper than just the trim, thieves would have stolen that long ago but it would be impossible for them to take what little copper there was without breaking every pain of glass. Even at night, between the stars and the moonlight, Jerry didn't need lights with all the light that came through his glass ceiling. His big room had lots of natural light. "I chose this building because of the glass ceiling. Sleeping here at night is as if I'm sleeping on the roof and under the stars. The light here in the morning, the midafternoon, and the late afternoon is just what I need to paint," he said. Much like everyone else who lived in those abandoned buildings, she figured he was just another homeless squatter. Jerry didn't have a TV. He didn't want a TV. "Televisions are just an excuse for people not to talk," he said waving a hand of disinterest. "Besides with all of the drug commercials on television these days, they make people who aren't even sick think that they are ill and need these medications." "You're right," said Ginny laughing at his insight. "In my day, my parents didn't take anything but an aspirin. Now, when you go to your general practitioner who's an internist, they're nothing more than drug dealers and pill pushers. Few of them even take the time to read up on all the side effects some of these pills cause and none of them even care that most folks can't afford to pay for the medication." Instead of zoning out in front of the TV, he spent his time listening to the radio, talk shows, financial shows, weather, and news. When he wasn't drawing her face, with the radio always on in the background, he played Solitaire, chess, or checkers. For someone who had nothing he had a lot to tell her about life and mostly about people. Able to read someone just by looking at their face, he knew a lot about people. "I can tell a lot from a person's face," he said. "Just by the first glance, I can tell everything I need to know about a person by their face. The reason why people look like they do, their faces are the clues to their real identity. In a way, I'm a detective reading the clues while searching for the information that I need to tell me who they are. In the way people carry ID's as their identification, with no two faces looking quite alike, their life stories are written all over their faces," he said pausing to look at her before taking her face in his hands. "You have a good and kind face." She rolled her eyes and made a sour face. "I do?" He smiled. He had a nice kind smile and white, perfect teeth. Either he had false teeth or he spent a lot of money on his teeth to have teeth that looked that good at his age. Even though she tried and failed miserably, she tried reading his face in the way that he was always able to read her face. She felt so transparent when with him. In the way he already knew her story, she wondered what his story was and why someone like him was living here and like this. Maybe living here among the blight was all that he could afford on his Social Security. Maybe just tired of all the bullshit, he had come here to this Hell on Earth to die. "You have a wonderful face. You have a beautiful face. I love your face. In the way that Leonardo da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa or in the way that Rembrandt painted all of his portraits over and again before releasing them to the world, I love drawing your face. There's character and a story written all over your face," he said letting go of her face. She looked at him with skepticism while he looked at her with adoration. "Thank you but I don't have a beautiful face. I have a plain face. If anything, compared to what men think are pretty and compared to celebrities, I have an ugly face," she said wishing that she worn more makeup and concealer than she did. She always wanted to have her face done at a department store's makeup counter but she never had the extra money to buy all of the makeup that they'd no doubt pressure her to buy. "What makes your face so very special are your big, expressive, blue eyes. What makes your face unique is the way that your soft, long, blonde hair frames your face in the way that a nightlight gives ambience to a room," he said. "You have the kind of face that I love to draw." Wow, she thought to herself. That was the best compliment she's ever received. Either he's drunk, crazy, or in love with her, she didn't know which. If only he was younger, she'd kiss him. If only he was younger, she'd allow him to feel her breasts. "Thank you but I'm not very pretty," she said again while soaking in all the compliments she's never heard and no one's ever given her before. He smiled at her while putting a fatherly hand on her knee. "I'll have you know without makeup, lighting, and talented photographers, some of the women who you think are the most beautiful are not so beautiful at all. The most beautiful women are the most photogenic women and the reason why these women are so photogenic is because they have big features that show up on film and on canvass. Gisele Bundchen is one such woman. If you saw her out on the street without her makeup and her hair done, other than the fact that she's so tall, you'd never recognize her as a supermodel," he said. He looked at her while waiting for her obvious response. "I understand what you're saying, I do and I thank you for the pep talk but when I look in the mirror, I see myself as others see me and not as you see me," she said. "In that regard, you make me feel special. In that regard and in the way you draw me, you make me look better looking than I am." As if he was an oracle and indeed he was, he gave her a wisely insightful smile. "You're too used to seeing your own face. You don't see yourself in the way that I see you. I see women and faces different than you. After having drawn thousands of faces, no one is more critical of faces than I am and you have one of the most beautiful faces I've ever seen," he said. She couldn't help but time his compliment to heart. She was soaring as if she was high. He called her beautiful. "Thank you but either you're losing your eyesight, you're drunk, or your nuts," she said with a laugh. He shook his head in rejection of her comment. "The most beautiful women are those women who have big eyes, large noses, high cheekbones, and protruding chins. Just as a singer wouldn't be as good without their sound stages, studios, and mixer men working on their behalf behind the scenes on a sound board, you wouldn't look twice at women you believe are beautiful if you saw them on the street without their makeup. Without their entourage of hairstylist, cosmeticians, and fashion designers, at best they're average looking people just like you." From beautiful she was now relegated to being average only she knew what he meant and what he meant to say wasn't insulting her just his way of trying to uplift her. "Thank you, Jerry," said Ginny. They remained silent while he stared at her face as if seeing it for the first time or as if seeing something in her face that he hadn't noticed before. "I'm hooked. I can't stop looking at your face," he said finally turning away from her as if he was embarrassed that he had said so much about her face. "Always inspired to draw your face, wanting to capture your every look, a multitude of facial expressions, I can't stop myself from wanting to draw your face over and again. She thought about her hair. It was such a mess. "I need to get my hair cut," she said pulling a handful of hair over her shoulder. "Yet, with your hair distracting and taking away from my looking at your face, your hair and your face are at odds with one another. If you don't mind me saying, you'd look better with a shorter hairstyle, one that comes to your jawline," he said. "You'd look better with a hairstyle that compliments your cheekbones instead of a hairstyle that conceals them. You seem to prefer to hide you face with your hair but that's a mistake." Going Home Ch. 01 He lifted and pushed her hair out of the way before touching her face again as if he was a blind man needing to know what someone looks like from his touch. "I've been growing my hair long because of the money. I hate spending money on my appearance when there's no one in my life but my customers at the diner," she said and looking as if she was about to cry. He lightly patted her shoulder and reached to her shoulder to take his hand in hers. "Don't take this the wrong way but from behind you look like just another beautiful blonde who has a typical pretty face but your face is so much more than that," he said. She rolled her eyes and sighed her disbelief. "So much more than that? I'd rather be pretty than to have a face with character," she said. "The faces of the Queens of England all had faces with character and none of them were very pretty." Her way of not getting her feelings hurt, her posture stiffened as if she was readying herself to ward off a verbal attack from her only real friend. "You're wrong. Your face is so much more than just a pretty face. I can read your face as if I'm a tealeaf reader and your face is the palm of your hand. I've only seen one other face like yours," he said with a pause as if remembering the other face. "I was fascinated with her face and now with your face that's nearly a carbon copy, only your face is even better after being perfected by your lineage." She frowned her rejection of his compliments "My lineage?" Ginny laughed. "I have no idea who my father is or if my mother was even married. She never talked about her past and I never asked her about her past. I figured it was a time she wanted to forget than to remember. Besides being that my mother had a fondness for the bottle, I didn't want to give her any more excuses for drinking other than what she already had." At an impasse, with Jerry fascinated by Virginia's face and Ginny not liking her face at all, there weren't enough compliments that Jerry could pay her for her to think that she was pretty when she knew that she wasn't. If she was remotely pretty, she'd have a boyfriend. If she was halfway decent looking, she'd be married with children. Only except for her D cup breasts, she was plain and not very memorable other than to Jerry. Sadly, the only that thing men saw in her was her big tits. Yet, even though men concentrated on her breasts rather than on her face and her mind, if there were two things that she loved about herself, she loved her breasts. Firm, natural, and shapely, she had a great rack. Unfortunately and interesting enough, never getting past her tits to look in her eyes or to get to know her, the only thing that men thought was that she was a slut or a whore because she had big tits. How dare they all think that when she's only had two lovers. Then again, maybe she encouraged men to think that she was slutty by wearing a too tight uniform blouse. Maybe she encouraged men to think she was a whore by her giving them down blouses of the top of her breasts and in flashing them her cleavage and her bra for the sake of a bigger tip. To be continued... Going Home Ch. 02 I took a deep breath and slowly backed up as Luke came around the island in my kitchen, following me, his smile never wavering in the face of my fear. I looked around and grabbed a knife off the counter, holding it with a tight grip, angling it in his direction. He stopped, holding his hands up and raising an eyebrow in my direction. "Really now Johnny, what are you going to do with that?" His deep voice still rubbed me in all the right places and I shivered, my eyes momentarily closing. He took advantage, moving forward in a blur of speed and snatching the knife out of my hand, whirling me around until my back was against his chest and the knife was very soundly against my throat. "Some things you can always rely on Johnny boy." He said, bending down. "Your reaction to my voice...to my body...always reliable." He whispered, lips brushing my ear. "Let me go Luke, now." I tried to keep my voice even as my body betrayed me and I started to respond, the hard planes of his body fitting against mine perfectly, as always. "Who the hell do you think you are Johnny boy to try to tell me what to do? You can't just come back here after two years and act like you're the shit boy, it doesn't work like that." His voice was warm with anger, and underneath that...pain. "I had to get out Luke, after what happened...I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't do it to my mom anymore. Or to me." My voice wavered a bit talking about it, but I forced it out anyway. Luke pressed the knife tighter to my throat, to the point I didn't want to swallow. He was shaking, though I couldn't exactly figure out because of what. Anger, pain, sexual frustration, a mixture of all three? "You knew what would happen if you came here Johnny boy, do you really think I'm going to let you go again? I know Eric called you, and I know you need my help." I swallowed very carefully, but I had been held at knife point before, I knew how to not get cut. I talked slowly, breathing short breaths. "No Luke I don't." He flinched every time I said his real name, not the nickname I had called him since high school. "I got a job set up, I don't need you to pay my bills for me. I'm a big boy." He chuckled, "Oh baby I know that." I fought off the shiver those words caused, but the goose bumps that raced up my skin were beyond my control. "Wade Dearborn will change his mind after I talk to him Johnny boy, rest assured." I grabbed his wrist and twisted, ducking out from under the knife as his muscles flexed. I let go before he could twist mine back and backed up, slamming into the sink. I was angry, so I was stupid and I reached out and shoved him backwards, watching with satisfaction as he almost fell on his ass, instead running sharply into the counter behind him. "What the fuck is your problem Luke? My mom is dying, this isn't about me and you! Why would you fuck up the only chance I might have at saving her!" He recovered, standing slowly and staring at me, anger in his eyes, "This is about me and you Johnny as much as it's about her. It'll take you 4 months at least to save up enough money to get that operation, and it will clean out your savings. By that point you don't know how bad the tumor will be and hell she might even need a different surgery, a more expensive one. Come work for me and I'll have her in that operating room as early as next week. I promise." I just stared at him. He was right I knew that, I was going to try to sneak in extra hours with Wade so it wouldn't take as long but he was right. It might be too long. "Work for you. Doing what Luke? What I did before?" I didn't bother saying it out loud, he knew what I meant. He ran a hand through his short spiky black hair, "No Johnny, no. I won't put you back in the field, just help run the compound. That's all, you have my word. No one has the skills you got when it came to that shit Johnny. I'm not nearly as patient as you are, and I didn't understand half that shit you did to make it all run so smoothly. Work for me, and I'll save your mom." I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. Luke was involved with a lot of illegal trafficking, everything from drugs to electronics. His compound is where everything happened, and it was damn official. I mean it didn't have papers or some shit because no one is stupid enough to leave a trail, especially not a powerful man like Luke Havers. However, I made it real, efficient instead of a bunch of thugs winging it. I had schedules, client meetings, I made sure it all went down smoothly; code words for everything though we had never got caught. Not to mention a lot of the runners lived there and I was good at being the peace keeper. Unless I was in the field. That wasn't something I even wanted to think about. I felt Luke move closer and I didn't open my eyes. I didn't try to stop him like I know I should have. His arms wrapped around me and my head fell to his shoulder automatically. I needed the comfort, I was so scared for my mom, so stressed out, I just needed it. God I was so weak sometimes. He still smelled the same, still wearing the addidas he knew I loved. He was so strong, he worked out a lot but that wasn't really it. He was stubborn, pig headed, and cocky; and every time I fell he had caught me. Every damn time. He held me close and I couldn't stop the tears from coming. So much had happened in the last two years and now the one woman who had remained vigilant through everything in my life, the one I always knew would be my rock might be gone. Luke held me the whole time, and I clung to him like he was my last lifeline. I should have let him go, pushed him away, but I didn't. I held him so tight it must of hurt but he didn't complain, didn't make one sound, just held me close, reveling in my scent, the feel of my body against his. It felt to damn good. I started to pull back and he refused to move, "No Johnny. You want to be in my arms as much I want to have them around you. Give me another minute before you go back to hating me. Please." He had never sounded so vulnerable and I realized now just had badly I had really hurt him by leaving. I couldn't stay though, he had known that. Besides he wasn't exactly all hugs and kisses either. He had held me at gun point, knife point, everything. He was a dangerous, dangerous man, and we had been in a very dangerous relationship. He had a quick temper and he was beyond possessive. He had more power than anyone I knew, and he could and would snap his fingers and someone's neck would snap just as quickly. He always got his way and he didn't take no for an answer. Luke was indeed very scary. Somehow though he had fallen for me, and I had fallen oh so hard back. No one knew him like I did. No one saw the soft side, the gentle side. Besides, no one knew all the secrets like I did to. Everyone that worked for him were runners, pure and simple. Only certain people were the killers, and only Leslie, Luke and myself knew who they were. I knew where everything came in at, and went out to. I knew who each and every client was. Where each body was. I was the one that watched him torture people. No one knew as much as I did. What was in my head was more dangerous than anything, and I knew he couldn't just let me go. He must have known what I was thinking because he pulled back, reluctantly letting me go. "I'm sorry it has to be like this Johnny, but I have to keep an eye on you. You know too much, you know I can't just let you go." I just stared at him for a minute before yanking my shirt off my body, watching as his eyes flinched. Scars criss crossed all over my chest, and more on my back. "That's bull shit Luke, you know I won't rat you out. God knows I didn't before. Why would I now?" He turned his head away for a second before looking back, he hated what had happened to me, mainly because he knew it was his fault. "Because Johnny, you were mine then, head over heels in love with me. Now you're not, now I can't rely on your love and loyalty like I could. I'm sorry Johnny, but this is how it's going to be. Wade won't hire you if I tell him not to. Which I will if you refuse my offer. I'm going to get you back...in any capacity, no matter what I have to do. Hate me if you want Johnny but I couldn't live without you when you left two years ago and I can't live without you now." I locked eyes with him, making sure he saw the intense anger in mine. "I do you know." I said quietly and he frowned. "You do what?" "Hate you." He flinched like I had slapped him before his face smoothed into the blank mask he had worn for three years before he finally had learned to trust me. A part of me, deep down inside wanted to cry as he gave me that cool and collected look that I had worked so hard to break him out of; but it was only a small part. "Fine. I'll see you Monday Luke." He straightened, his eyes never leaving mine. I knew what he was going to say and I sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow Johnny boy. Be there at 8 am. I advise you to bring some clothes to sleep in to. You got a lot of catching up to do." I just glared at him. After a minute I nodded and walked to the door, standing beside it and holding out my hand. Luke hesitated, and I just waited. He reached in his pocket and handed me the key, noticing as I snatched my hand back before we touched. I unlocked the door, leaving the key in to prove I wasn't scared of him taking it and opened it wide for him. "Bye Luke." He flinched again and walked out, putting a hand on the door as I went to close it. His eyes pleaded with mine, asking me in words he would never say. I sighed again, "Bye Blue." I said softly and his entire body jerked. I shut the door without looking back at him, leaning heavily against it as I heard his big RAM truck pull out of my driveway. I looked over to my mom's room and tensed as I saw her standing in the door way, staring at me. I didn't bother saying anything because there was nothing I could say to make it any better. She went back in her room and closed the door without another word and I didn't stop the tears from slipping down my face. Going Home Ch. 02 Please give me the support of your vote. * Jerry just wants Virginia to take him home to Boston. Oddly enough, the only thing that Jerry wanted in return for his friendship was something that Ginny could give him. With him not asking her for sex, he wanted her to take him home to Boston. Actually, with there not a better place he could have asked her to take him, she was looking forward to going to Boston. With him as her personal, tour guide, he could point out all of the sights and historic attractions she's longed to see and has only seen in travel magazines and movies shot on location in Boston. It would be unbelievable if she could experience seeing Boston in person. With him the close friend she's never had, as if a dream trip come true, she couldn't wait to go to Boston with him. "With you being so very kind to me and with me having nothing to give you in return, I give you this," he said handing her a portrait that he drew of her face in pencil. A small 5 x 8 inch portrait drawing of her, she looked at the pencil sketch as if seeing her ghost. An understatement of description, the portrait was haunting. When did he draw this? She's never seen this one before. He must have drawn it from memory. For him to draw this, she must always be on his mind. For him to draw this, she must haunt him in the way that this sketch now haunts. Her. As if she was looking at a black and white photograph secretly taken of her, the image looked exactly like her. Only more than the mere image of her, it was the look on her face that captured her interest. She didn't remember herself ever having that look. Even though the image looked exactly like her and even though the portrait was of her, it was the look on her face that she didn't recognize and that she never saw when looking at herself in the mirror but, obviously, he did. Obviously this look she had at that moment had inspired Jerry's inspiration too for him to capture the look of her in his drawing. As if the pencil sketch was alive, there was something so captivating in her look. "Wow. This is really good Jerry," she said looking from the sketch to look up at him. "Maybe you can make a few dollars drawing caricatures of people on the street," she said carefully and delicately filing the picture away in her purse. For him to draw this of her, it was obvious to her that he knows her far better than she knows herself. In the way that most men undress her with their eyes when they look at her, so different from their looks, he looked at her as if she was already naked and he could see all the way into her heart and soul. In the way that the lustful leers of men made her feel so nakedly exposed, he made her feel transparent and emotionally exposed. Yet not feeling uncomfortable or embarrassed that he knew herself so well, she felt more at ease that she had no secrets from him. If only by the way he captured her on paper, for him to take her expressions on her face and translate them to paper, he made her believe that he knew her well enough, better than anyone knew her. Baring her wide open by his artistic talent, when she looked at the portrait he drew of her, he made her feel that she had no secrets. As if all of the portraits of her made a movie of here when put together and quickly thumbed through, he read her as if reading her story and drawing her story by drawing her face. Viewing the field of portraits that he had of her all over his loft was like looking at an open book of her life. He made her feel so proud. He made her feel so special. Yet, as special as he made her feel as special as she felt that he drew her so very many times, with just his look, he made her feel so weak and so vulnerable. He made her feel so unworthy of the time he chose to spend with her, a mere waitress at the local diner. With her having not much more than a high school education and two courses in psychology she took at the community college to better understand her customers, she wasn't on his level. He was her oracle, her sage, and her Guru guide who knew all things. Such an odd couple, why would he befriend her? Maybe, like her, he has no one else. With her a nothing and a no one, obvious he was someone once, a husband, a father, and a friend. Who knows what else he was to all those he touched in his life in the way he was touching her now? For now he was her most unforgettable character. Just by her looking at his portraits, dozens of them now, as if he was her priest, her psychiatrist, and her confident, he made her feel that she could never lie to him as he would immediately know the truth. Besides, he was her friend. Friends don't lie to friends. His loft was a field of her faces with some muted and others ablaze in color. With him gifted in matching his colors to her facial expressions, the colors he chose corresponded to the expression on her face. She only wished she was smarter and educated with an education in art appreciation so that she could see what he saw in his pictures. No matter where she looked, she saw herself. In the way he seemed fascinated with her face, she wondered if he was in love with her. In the way that most men are fascinated with her body, especially her big tits, he was fascinated with her face. As if never satisfied with what he drew or as if wanting to capture all of her changing facial expressions, he was fascinated with her face enough to paint her portrait over and over and over again. When looking at his portraits of her, recognizing every thought she had behind every portrait he painted, her portraits were literally her field of dreams, thoughts, whims, fantasies, and desires. How could he do that? How could he capture the essence of her in a moment of time with just a few pencil strokes and colors on a canvas? More than flattered, this was amazing. She felt so special, so very special to be the subject and the main focus of his art. Just as these portraits were extraordinary, as an artist and as the man he had morphed to become he was extraordinary too. It's as if she was royalty living back in the 17th century and had a portrait artist following her around to capture the right moment before painting her picture. These portraits were snapshots of her life captured at the exact moment that the thought she was having changed her facial expression enough for him to want to paint her. She felt great pride that she could inspire a man to paint her face without having to show him her body too. Whether she was laughing, crying, sad, happy, angry, depressed, mad, reserved, thoughtful, bored, hopeful, embarrassed, envious, in love, shamed, hostile, or frustrated, he had a portrait of her to capture what she was feeling. "I don't draw faceless people," he said with a tone to his voice and with a disinterested and dismissive wave of his hand that suddenly awakened her from staring at the likenesses of herself. "I only draw people who interest me and for the last forty years, there's only been two people who have interested me enough for me to want to draw them over and over again," he said pausing to look at her face. In the way he looked at her face was the way a doctor looks at a patient, a scientist looks his experiment, God looks at his creation, or an artist looks at his subject. In return of our continued friendship, I only ask you for one thing," he said. She did a double take when he said that. He wants something. What does he want? She could only imagine what he wanted and what he wanted may be something that she couldn't freely give without feeling guilt, remorse, and feeling bad about herself. Being that he was a man and she was a woman, she had a feeling what he wanted. She suspected he wanted sex. Oh, oh, here it comes. With her waiting for the other shoe to fall she figured that he wants her to masturbate him. She figured that he wants her to fall to her knees and suck his cock. She figured that he wants her to give him the permission to feel her big breasts through her clothes while kissing her, French kissing her. No doubt and obviously, he wants her to show him her tits. No doubt and obviously, he wants to feel her big tits and suck her bit tits, while she masturbates him and before she sucks his cock. What a world? What a world? Is there no end to the debauchery that men have in their blackened hearts? Oh my God, how dare he do that to her now that they're such good friends and now that she implicitly trusts him? Why would he want to ruin a good thing with sex? From her experience, nothing good ever comes from sex. From her experience, sex only causes misery. From her experience, he's willing to ruin their friendship for the chance of seeing and feeling her tits while she strokes him and blows him. Yet, her own fault, how could she be so stupid to think that he was any different from all the other men who tried to force her to do things she didn't want to do? Yet, giving him the benefit of the doubt, she innocently asked her question. "And what is that one thing you're asking me to do for you?" She looked at him with attitude while expecting him to ask her for sex. Definitely, in the way he was looking at her, he wants a blowjob perhaps and definitely for her give him permission to feel her tits before him asking her to show him her tits. Maybe like all of the other men in her life, he just wants to see her big tits and have a private moment with her D cup breasts. Maybe with all that he's done for her in making her feel better about herself, she owes him at least that much to remove her blouse and bra and allow him to have his wicked, sexual way with her naked breasts. Yet, in total opposition to his past gentlemanly behavior and confounding her, in the way she displayed her long line of sexy cleavage to men for tips, he never stared at her cleavage. In the way that all men do, he never stared at the two big, bulbous impressions her breasts made in her tight, low cut shirt. He was a gentleman and not a lecher in the way so very many of her customers were. With her giving them a down blouse view of the tops of her breasts, her cleavage, and her bra, her male customers felt that was their invitation for them to ogle her and sometimes even cop a cheap feel of her enormous breasts. With her giving him plenty of accidental and deliberate down blouse views of her breasts, he never looked or if he looked, never obvious about sneaking a peek, she never noticed him looking. In a way that her mother was a whore for drinks and flashed men her tits for alcohol, she was a whore for tips by showing men all that they wanted to see of her tits. Only what harm was there in showing men the tops of her meaty, jiggling breasts, her sexy cleavage, and parts of her white, low cut bra? It isn't as if she's showing them the entire shape of her naked breasts. It isn't as if she's showing them her areolas and nipples. It wasn't as if she was inviting men to touch her tits, feel her tits, and suck her tits before she sucked their cocks in the way her mother did for drinks to make her forget all that she needed to forget. With her different from her mother, using what God gave her, she's just teasing men while hoping to inspire them to give her a bigger tip. Yet, asking for trouble, she's surprised no one has sexually assaulted her and/or raped her while waiting to take the bus home. With men spotting her tits before seeing her, she's surprised all over her teasing men for tips didn't get her more than what she hoped to receive. As if her breasts were a walking billboard advertising sex, with her so freely walking about her bad neighborhood with confidence as if she owned the sidewalk, she was a victim waiting for a crime to happen. If anything she was just carrying on the sexy tradition of a bar wench in a tavern wearing a peasant blouse in the 16th century while working as a waitress in a diner in the 21st century. Just as men will never change in looking, women will never change in showing. Men loved seeing women's tits even if only seeing their cleavage while imagining the rest. Being that she had big tits, why not use her breast to her advantage to make a little extra income, money that she so desperately needed now that she no longer had her mother's Social Security check. Only, Jerry wasn't interested in her breasts. He never so much as looked at her tits. Maybe he's gay. Maybe other than their faces, after losing the woman he so loved, he's not interested in women at all. Being that he wasn't interested in ogling her breasts, oddly enough, she wanted to show him her breasts. She wondered if he'd stare or if he'd look away. She wondered if he'd want to touch them, feel them, fondle them, and suck them. Yet, just a sexual fantasy on her part, her one last bastion of believing that not all men are pigs, she'd never show him her tits. She'd never ruin the friendship they had by introducing sex into it. "I want you to take me home to Boston," he said. What? He wants her to take him home to Boston? Is that it? No way! Surely there must be more than that to his request. She imagined him booking a room with only one bed and apologizing profusely that this was the only room left. She imagined him promising not to worry and that she'd be safe with him. She imagined him promising her that he'd sleep in the chair, on the floor, or on his side facing away from her and that he wouldn't touch her. Only, somehow during the night, she imagined her breasts out of her nightgown and his horny hands all over her big tits while he drew pictures of her naked breasts. Then, the next morning, on the pretense that he had to pee, she imagined him coming into the bathroom while she was showering and much like what happened to Janet Leigh in Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, pulling open her shower curtain to see her big tits. "Oh," she said surprised he didn't want to see her tits when every man she's ever known has wanted to not only see her big breasts but also to feel and fondle her big breasts. She wished she had a dollar for every man who stared at her breasts. She wished she had a dollar for every man who made an inappropriate comment about her big tits. She wished she had a dollar for every man who tried to kiss her while feeling her breast and putting her hand on their cock as if she was a whore like her mother was. She wished she had a dollar for every man who wanted her breasts but who didn't want the rest of her. She's never had a date where a good night's kiss meant that the man could feel her breasts through her shirt. She never had a good night's kiss that didn't turn into a wrestling match with the man trying to stick a horny hand beneath her shirt and inside of her bra. She never had a date that didn't culminate in the man wanting to feel and see her tits. All the dates she had were never about her but about men wanting to feel her tits while she sucked their cock. She's not a whore but she takes after her mother in the fact that she has her mother's big tits. Her mother had big tits too. Only her mother had no problem in flashing her tits to men for a drink. Her mother had no problem with men feeling her tits and sucking her tits, as long as they plied her with alcohol. She'd even take them in the back, dark alley for a quickie or a blowjob in exchange of a few dollars. Only, Ginny was nothing like her mother. She wasn't a drunken whore. For the first time she felt safe with a man. For the first time being Jerry's friend didn't matter that she had big tits. His admiration of her was more about her face than her tits. He thought she was pretty. He thought she had a beautiful face. He loved her face in the way that all the men she knew loved her tits. "When the time comes, I just want to go home," he said raising his chin with dignity while looking at her with finality. Suddenly he looked sad and she could tell that he missed Boston. "Why are you so far from home Jerry?" She looked at him with confused curiosity. "I mean, why are you here when you could have stayed there?" Ginny looked at him puzzled. With Boston her dream city, if she was as blessed to live there instead of here, she'd never leave Boston for Detroit. "I came here too late looking for someone, a love lost of a woman I haven't seen in thirty years after she already died. I should have looked here before but I didn't know where she was. With her not having a credit card, a car, a driver's license, or a cell phone, she was impossible to track down. I didn't know she was hiding out here in Detroit. Why Detroit of all places? No doubt somewhere I'd never think to look, I didn't. With my life suddenly spinning around me so fast, too fast, I was on the fast track to nowhere. With my life spiraling out of control, I gave up all that I had for something that I thought I wanted. Only once I got what I thought I wanted, I didn't want it at all," he said. "After it was already gone, I realized too late that I already had all that I wanted." The first time he opened up to her, she was finally seeing the man behind the tussled hair, the messy beard, and the paint splattered clothes. By far, he was the most interesting man she's ever met. With her finding it sexy that he always wanted to draw her plain face, if only he was younger, she'd allow him to draw her tits. If only he wasn't so old and was closer to her age, she'd allow him to draw her topless, maybe even naked. If only he was younger, she'd give him sex. Suddenly, perhaps just like her mother, whoredom is in her genes. Suddenly she felt like a whore for even having such salacious thoughts of getting topless and/or naked for Jerry to draw her while thinking about giving him sex. "At least you've had a chance at life," she said with sadness. "What chance have I had living here in this abandoned, burnt down, Hell hole of a city? Every day there's a dozen fires. Every day there's a dozen shootings. Every day someone dies and no one cares," she said with sadness as if she was saying some words at the death of a friend or relative. "With all of us desensitized to crime, devastation, poverty, and destruction, after working all day for not enough pay, we're all too tired to think about anything else but for our little lives while eating our supper and staring at the TV." Whether good memories or bad memories, she'd give anything to have some memories of loving a man and a man loving her. She'd do anything to have a child. She'd do anything to have a family, to live in a nice, safe neighborhood, and to have friends. "Not realizing what I had in her, I ruined my chance," he said. "The last I remember, I was on a merry-go-round that continued going faster and faster and would never stop. I wanted to get off but I couldn't. I wanted the amusement ride to end but, once it started, as if the carousel ride had a life of its own, it wouldn't stop. It's just continued spinning and spinning around with me standing in the middle of a whirlwind of money, alcohol, sex, and drugs," he said. "I've wasted my life," he said. "I've ruined my life and the lives of others. I missed my chance at happiness." She looked at him with sadness and he looked at her with sorrow. "I can feel your pain," she said touching his hand and quickly withdrawing her hand when he didn't respond to her touch. "I've wasted my life too." An odd moment of two people coming together from two very different generations, backgrounds, and lives, the only thing she had to give him to make him feel better, was her sexuality. She suddenly had the urge to remove her blouse and bra but controlling herself, she didn't. "Deadened from alcohol, dizzy from drugs, and delirious from sex, the last I remember was I was holding her hand until I couldn't hold her hand anymore and poof, she was gone. Her fingers slipped from my hand as if they had turned into liquid before evaporating. There was nothing left of her, not even a note," he said not sad, angry, or resentful just matter of fact. "The last I remember was that she was in bed with me and when I turned to her, I was in bed with someone else, a woman I didn't even know or want. I was so messed up back then when I wasn't painting. When I was painting, I was fine. When I stopped painting, there was disco, bright lights, and women, so very many women." Going Home Ch. 02 From having the affections of all of those women, it's the one woman that he lost and the one woman he could no longer have was the one woman that he wanted. She wondered who the woman was who haunted him enough for him to not only pine after her for all these years but also to look for her. "Sure Jerry. I'll take you home. I'll get you home. Don't worry. I've always wanted to see Boston anyway. Only," said Ginny figuring that was a deal breaker. "I don't have a car. Maybe we can take the bus to Boston on a one-way ticket." He looked at her to give her a sad smile while patting her hand. "It doesn't matter how I get there, by car or by bus, as long as I get there," said Jerry. "There are just some places that you know you need to go when the time comes." To be continued... Going Home Ch. 03 Alright, much waited for, chapter three! Luke and Johnny have many unresolved issues and Leslie's importance is played up. Hope you enjoy. I made it longer to. Sorry it took so long! Chapter three: old habits I woke up around 7:30 and knew I was gonna be late. I smiled, taking my time getting dressed. I pulled into the huge compound/mansion around 9:15, parking in the multi car garage. The compound was underground, and you would never find it if you didn't know what you were looking for. I didn't look at the guys guarding the mansion, they knew who I was. I knocked on the door and John opened it, frowning at me. "Your late." I walked past him without responding. Walking up the winding staircase I got to the second floor, went past mine and Luke's old room to the painting at the end of the hall. No it's wasn't so cliché that the door was behind the painting, the painting was just the key. It was Luke and I at a Halloween ball when I was 17. The compound was built around then, and that had just been the automatic key, despite protests from me and the guys. I walked up and touched the ring on my left finger, the one that was currently hanging around my neck. The diamonds on the band had a certain order and I punched them in. After the right combination the wall behind me slid open to reveal an elevator and I stepped on, pressing my hand onto the pad to the left of the door. It scanned my palm and an automated voice came out of the speaker as the doors closed. "Welcome, Johnny Havers." I tensed instantly. By the time I got down to the compound my body was vibrating with anger. Luke was standing in front of the elevator when it opened, his body language the same as mine. We were both angry. "What the fuck was that Luke! Johnny Havers? That is not my god damned name!" I walked up to him, angry and stupid until our chests touched. "Your late Johnny. You think this is some kind of game, you think I'm wrapped around your little finger? Let's get one thing straight, YOU need ME. Not the other way around." I was beyond angry now and I knew I was going to do something stupid. "You know what, fuck this. I'm not your bitch to control Luke. You need me to, you said it yourself no one could do as good as I did. fuck this shit man, I'll just go back to my own house and find a way to raise the money there." I turned away before I thought about it, even though in the back of my mind I knew I was being stupid. Me and the voice in my head knew we had nothing to worry about however, because everyone in the damn room knew Luke wasn't going to let me go. Luke grabbed me and slammed me face first into the elevator, making me gasp. I reached out and kicked him straight in the knee, flipping my body around. He tried to punch me, hitting the elevator as I ducked. I tackled him to the ground, sitting on his chest as I started wailing punches onto his face. He protected it, taking the punches on his arms, but I have to say I busted his lip and blackened one eye before his crew pulled me off roughly. Leslie and two other guys wrapped around my waist and grabbed my arms, pulling me off of Luke and holding me tight between them. Luke brushed off the guys that tried to help him up and stood on his own. He stalked over to me and punched me hard in the stomach, making me groan. I tried to double over but Leslie and his guys wouldn't let me. Luke grabbed my face roughly between his fingers, squeezing until I knew I would be bruised. "Your right. We both need each other. Pull that shit again though Johnny, and I'll give you a beating you won't soon forget, got it?" I didn't say anything, barely resisting the urge to spit in that mocking face. He squeezed harder until I finally nodded, speaking between gritted teeth, "Got it Luke. Let go." Luke released my face but didn't signal the guys to let me go. Instead he studied my face long and hard before finally smiling. He reached into my shirt, pulling the long chain out of it. The chain that wasn't there yesterday. Damn it why did I put that thing back on! I should have left it in my suitcase, hell I should have left it at home. He spun the chain around my neck until he reached the clasp, undid it and slipped the ring off. He pocketed the chain so I couldn't put it back on it and signaled to Leslie to bring up my left arm. I fought like a mad man resisting, but Leslie had 80 pounds of muscle on me. I clenched my fist and Luke reached out, squeezing his pointer finger in-between my tightly clenched thumb and pointer finger. He used his thumb and pointer finger to find the pressure point there and squeeze it. I let out a scream through my teeth and unclenched my hand. Luke grabbed my ring finger, sliding the ring on until it went over my bottom knuckle. The silver band glinted in the light against my tan skin. "Don't take it off Johnny boy. I really don't want to have to do this again." He moved to walk away and my mouth opened before my brain stopped it. "Why do I have to wear mine huh?" Luke smiled and turned back to me, holding up his left hand. There glinted the gold band that was the match to mine. "Come on now Johnny, don't be stupid." He turned his back on me and the other guys slowly let me go, Leslie's hands lingering around my waist, his hand traveling down to link with mine, fingers lacing. I closed my eyes for a second and then yanked my hand free of his. "Luke!" I called out and he turned around, a questioning smile on his face. He was happy I was wearing my ring, hell he'd probably be glowing about it all damn day. "I'll stay Luke, but I want you to keep him away from me." I pointed behind me at Leslie whose face broke for a second before he collected himself, eyes glaring at me. Luke and I were the main relationship, but Leslie had been a big part of all of our lives. For Luke he was mainly just a way to have more sex, and more fun with me, though he loved him in his own special way. For Leslie and I though, it was more than that, he was who I turned to when Luke and I fought, he was who I took comfort in when Luke did a run I wasn't sure he would come back from. Hell Leslie had his own ring, made by both Luke and me, with our initials on the inside. L&JH. Luke and Johnny Havers. It was more of a friendship ring than anything else, but it had meant a lot to all of us. It obviously still did, I thought as I looked down at his right hand and saw the pretty yellow gold band glinting up at me. Luke frowned for a second, momentary pain flashing on his face before he nodded. "Leslie...stay away from Johnny boy for the time being ok?" Leslie didn't even look at him, just at me, his arm still wrapped around my waist even though I had yanked my hand away. He clenched his muscles, pulling me tight against him until it was hard to breathe. "Leslie!" Luke yelled, moving to run over to us. Leslies lips hit my ear, "Wait until I get you alone Johnny boy, we'll see how long you can resist me. Remember Johnny, I was the only one there for you when you were so fucked up you couldn't think straight. Don't forget that, because I sure as hell won't." He bit my neck, hard enough to bruise and I clenched my teeth again to keep from yelling out. Before Luke could touch him though I drove my elbow hard into his stomach, making his teeth release as well as his arm. I turned around and punched him a good one across his jaw. He fell and he didn't bother getting up, clutching his stomach tightly. Luke looked down at him, then at my angry composed face. He reached out to me and I backed up, my arm automatically wrapping around my waist, my stomach still seriously hurting from his punch. His hand fell and he shook his head, reaching out to help Leslie up off the ground. Yea this was going to be a fantastic day. By three that afternoon I was beyond exhausted, not to mention pissed off. This place had gone to shit while I was gone. No one had scheduled meetings with the clients, hell no one even had a driver schedule, it was just whoever happened to be there. Half of the guys didn't even take their jobs seriously anymore, showing up when they felt like it. I stormed into Luke's office around 3:30, stopping short when I found him and Leslie in a serious lip lock, Leslie sitting on the bigger man's lap. Both pulled away instantly and we all just stared at each other, pain coursing through me for a minute. "Wait, it's not what you think J-" I cut Luke off before he could explain himself. "This is bullshit Luke. None of these guys take their jobs seriously anymore, this place has fallen to shit, there's not even driver schedules anymore. What's next are we going to hang out in back alleys and wait for customers! This is not some backwoods operation with thugs and brass knuckles. Get it together!" Luke's face darkened, "This is your fault Johnny, and you know it. If you hadn't left-" I held up a hand, "No Luke, this is your fault. You're the one who let your business suffer because you got your heart broken. Not me." I slammed my clipboard down on the desk, "They won't listen to me anymore Luke, it's just like starting from scratch all over again." I leaned forward on the desk, bracing my palms on it and looking him in the eye. "Fix this Luke. Now." I spun on my heel and walked out, slamming the door behind me. I heard Leslie chuckle as I left, "Honey he's home." He said and I heard Luke laugh with him. I hated how good it felt to be back. I literally wanted to rip out all the warm fuzzy feelings and tell them to go to hell. This was my thing though, and I was great at it. I had once had this place organized and running like a well oiled machine. This was my life. I shook my head as Luke and Leslie came out of the office, stopping short as they saw me still standing there. I sighed a big sigh and walked away, hoping Luke wouldn't notice I had moved the ring from my left hand to my right. He did though. "Hold up Johnny boy." I stopped short, praying it was for some other reason. I didn't want to have this talk right now, I really didn't. "Luke you need to talk to them, get them to listen to me again, this will never work if they don't respect me, I can't tell a bunch of thugs and ex cons and military what to do if they don't respect me enough to listen. I had to earn it last time, and I did, I worked hard and I did. You want me to get this back to the way it was in less than a year than you need to speed up that process." Luke didn't say anything as I spoke, his eyes following my hands as they moved. I talk with my hands and I forgot that. I quickly put my arms at my sides and hoped he would worry more about his business than me right now. Two years ago it would have been me; now it was them. He whistled, and got everyone huddled around him. He had about 50-70 employees, about 20-30 lived in the mansion itself. Most were just drivers and traffickers, the more serious ones however were obvious. They had the eyes so cold I had nightmares about them. "Listen up. You all remember Johnny I know you do, and those of you who are new you know who he is. He ran this place smoother than any of us has managed to do since. He worked hard to earn your respect two years ago. We all know he had his own reasons for...leaving. Do not forget the man that worked his ass off to earn your respect and keep you safe. Hell he's the reason half of you stayed alive. You've only managed so far because of what he left behind. Do not, and I repeat do not, make the mistake of not listening to him now. Listen and we can go back to how we were, safe and running smooth. Don't listen and we'll see where you end up." He waited for a second and no one said anything, "Got it?!" he yelled and everyone responding then in corresponding "yes sirs." Luke turned to me and quirked an eyebrow. "Thank you," I said rolling my eyes. I turned around and Leslie was standing in front of me, blocking my way. Luke moved up behind me. "I thought we had a deal Luke, he stays away from me." I said loud and clear, looking into Leslie's oh so familiar eyes. "We need to talk Johnny boy. Apparently you have listening issues." His hand trapped my right one and I clenched my hand. "I'm not wearing it on my ring finger Luke. It's not happening. I didn't pocket it, I am still wearing it. Take what you can get." We were attracting an audience, and Luke noticed it. He must have signaled to Leslie behind my head because the man grabbed my arm and dragged me into the office, Luke following. Leslie sat me down in one of the chairs and I glared at him, curling my legs underneath me and staring at them both. "Why not Johnny? You had no problem before. Husbands wear their rings where we come from. I don't know what it's like in your new place but we hold to our vows in this town." I laughed ,a sharp burst of sound, "Oh yea right Luke. That was never official, and it was void after I left. I'm not your husband anymore than you are mine. Besides like you haven't broken those vows? I'm sure you've cheated on your dear sweet husband plenty of times. Hell manly man over here is just one example." Leslie tensed instantly and Luke rose from his chair behind the desk. "Your right Johnny it wasn't official. But it was real between us and we both knew it. Are you telling me you weren't faithful? You know Leslie doesn't count Johnny. We all know it." I thought of Daniel and automatically tensed. Luke would tear him apart. "No Luke." I said slowly. He saw through it instantly, his fist slamming down on the desk making me jump. "Who is he Johnny boy. Tell me." His voice was thick with anger and...hurt? "No. Scratch that...HELL no. Back off Luke. We are not together now, or ever again. You don't own me. Stop acting like you do." I stood up and Leslie moved to help me find my way back to the chair. I looked back at Luke with my brows raised. "Call off your bitch Luke. I'm done with this. I'm here for one reason and one reason early. We agreed I'd work for you, not sleep with you." Leslie's face colored at the bitch remark and he moved towards me again. Luke held up a hand and Leslie stopped. I looked back and was shocked at what I saw there. Luke's face was vulnerable, open, letting me see his pain. He was so hurt, it was almost painful to see. "Luke-" I started and he shook his head, his face smoothing out again. "Your right Johnny boy, you're not here for me. I guess I forgot that. I'll change the setting on the elevator. Go take care of business please." I don't know if it was that he sounded so hurt or the please but I left the office without another word. I waited and Leslie followed me out. We looked at each other for a minute, just staring before I turned and walked away, back to the job I never wanted to come back to, and away from the men I could never get over. Later on after I got some schedules worked out, I got together what was left of my old cleaning crew. The compound looked like shit, god knows Luke didn't know the first thing about cleaning. William, Charles, Daniel, Leslie, Ryan, and Alex all huddled around me as I gave them their cleaning assignments. We were always the cleaning crew, for about 4 years now. Only one missing was Anderson, who I was informed had been killed on a run. I felt the guilt of that on my soul for a while. After about 20 minutes Charles stood up, "Yo, Johnny!" He called and I looked up. Charles gave me a evil little smile and said, "How about some music boy?" I laughed, I was always in charge of music. We all knew what would happen to. We would get into it, get distracted and have to stay until midnight finishing what we neglected. It was well worth it though, looking at all the guys who still were weary of me, it would do a lot to put things back to how they used to be. I still had the playlist, titled Compound Cleanup, on my iPod and I hooked it up to Luke's stereo system. We all smiled as Right Thurr by Chingy started playing. I went back to work, and waited for my ADD friends to get distracted. I didn't have to wait long. Soon Charles's foot started tapping, Leslie's head started bobbing, William started moving his hips, Daniel started singing along under his breath and Ryan and Alex started bumping their asses against each other. Now not all of the men we worked with were gay, hell almost all of them weren't. These men though all had a healthy curiosity, and the rest just really knew how to move and who doesn't need a break every once in a while. When Lolli Lolli by Three Six Mafia came on I gave up. I started dancing, moving my hips, twining my arms over my head and William laughed, dancing over to me seductively. We had done this for years, flirting to no avail. We never wanted anything more, it was just fun to flirt. We turned our backs to each other and dipped to the floor, laughing when the guys stared. After a while we all gave up what we were doing, moving to the music, dancing with each other. A few other guys trickled in and started dancing with us, soon we were all gathered in the main room of the compound, dancing like fools to my iPod. I was gyrating with Charles when Leslie came up behind me. This was so normal for us, for all of us, I didn't even think to stop him. His hands fell on my waist as he started grinding against my ass. I felt Charles move and Luke got in front of me. They all knew I loved to dance, and I loved to be watched. I was good at it and I knew I looked good doing it. Smiling I dropped my body, rising it up slowly, dipping my ass against Leslie a couple of times before spinning in their arms, pressing my ass firmly against Luke. I dropped again, this time nuzzling Leslie's crotch with my face and hands as I came back up. We all laughed, the tension in the room broke. After about an hour I snapped out of it and paused the music. Everyone groaned and looked at me, "Guys we are so far behind! Were gonna be here all night!" Charles grinned like the Chesire Cat and spoke up, "Turn that music back on, give us another hour and I'll promise to stay all night and morning to." There were very loud agreements and I rolled my eyes. They knew I would give in, I guess I was a sucker for some hard ass criminals. That thought made me laugh. I turned the music back on and everyone cheered. Leslie and Luke approached me again but I was already berating myself for dancing with them earlier, I wasn't go to again. I backed up and they followed, moving in sync. I knew where this would lead, with the look in their eyes and I quickly bolted, mumbling something about food...or shampoo or... something. I escaped into the elevator and rode it up before I gave into my desires. I was dying to feel Luke in my ass, whispering dirty words in my ear, making me feel like a slut while I moaned in pleasure. It was too much, added to the knowledge I would probably be getting face fucked by Leslie and I had to distance myself before my hormones took over. A little while later I was calm and I had eaten some ramen noodles, calming my nerves. I went back down to the compound and the party was in full swing. I let it go on for about another hour and a half before finally turning the music off. The guys groaned but it was a good natured protest. We got back to work and around 1 am I was huddled over a schedule...or something and my eyes were fluttering closed. It had been a long day. I passed out, moving the papers as my head dropped in case I drooled. I didn't bother opening my eyes as I was picked up, just nestled closer to the big chest that I was against. I was just so tired. It was just Blue. Wait...there was something about Blue. What was it? I looked up at him, "I'm supposed to remember something about you baby. I can't make it surface in my mind but there's something. What is it?" Going Home Ch. 03 Please give me the support of your vote. * Ginny takes Jerry home to Boston Suddenly lost in thinking about Boston in the way that Jerry was obviously lost in living in Detroit, Ginny's mind was filled with tall buildings, historic sights, and meeting lots of new people. "Maybe there's more opportunity in Boston for a woman like me, a real hard worker, than there is in Detroit," she said to Jerry. He smiled at her while reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. "You're going to love Boston," he said. She paused with thinking about what she was going to say. Not wanting to make her statement seem like an invitation to have a relationship that was more than a platonic friendship, she worded her words carefully. Not wanting to give him the wrong idea, she had no intention of making their friendship a sexual relationship. "Maybe, if you're agreeable to it, we can find a place together and live together, so long as you behave and don't get fresh," she said with a little laugh. "I'd live with you as long as we had boundaries and we respected one another's privacy." She imagined them living together as a couple and in the way that a father would live with his daughter. Only, the image of him trying to get a peek of her tits, crept in her mind. On those days she was horny, perhaps giving him a down nightgown view, she imagined teasing him and flashing her naked breasts. Being that he was her friend, possibly her friend with occasional benefits, she'd allow him to see her breasts and feel her breasts. She'd even give him a blowjob if she was horny enough and drunk enough but that's as far as she'd go. Only she'd never lay with him in bed. She'd never sleep with him. She'd never have sexual intercourse with him. Much too old for her, if only he was younger and more her age, she'd have more sexual thoughts for him. With him nothing more than her best friend, she'd never ruin their friendship with sex. With him not a very attractive men and old enough to be her father, he so much older than her. She wasn't into old men but he was her friend. He was nice to her, something that no man has ever been to her before and his kindness made her want to be nice to him too. With her thinking that all she had to give him were her tits, she'd give him those if only he'd ask. She'd even allow him to feel her breasts while she sucked his cock, if she was in the mood. Only, if she found someone to love in Boston, she'd be embarrassed for him to know that she not only allowed Jerry to see her breasts but also feel her breasts while she sucked his cock. * * * * * Two years passed with Ginny checking in on Jerry whenever he wasn't able to take the bus downtown to the diner. With her not having a family, a mother, a father, brothers, or sisters, a husband, or children, not even a boyfriend, it wasn't difficult or inconvenient for her to spend time with her friend. She just had herself to look out for with no one looking out for her, except maybe for just Jerry. Only with him more desperate than she was for money, there was nothing that he could do for her that she couldn't do for herself. Friends were few and not lasting with everyone fleeing Detroit because of the bad economy and the crime getting worse. Being that she was a plain woman that no one would look at twice and/or call pretty but for Jerry, as if she was made up by a Hollywood makeup artist, he sometimes drew her face prettier than she looked in the mirror. Most times, he drew her face raw and exposed as if his paint brush was a Paparazzi camera that had captured her in a bad and unguarded moment. Her angry or mad expressions better translated to paper than her looks of happiness. With a picture worth a thousand words, he made her face look so much more expressively interesting and emotionally appealing than what she thought her face looked. Obviously he was seeing something in her that she wasn't seeing in herself. Seemingly he knew her better than she knew herself. Interesting enough, as if looking at herself through the lens of a camera that was always focused on her, his pictures of her gave her snapshot insights into herself. She brought him food and gave him a few dollars to buy what he needed. Nothing more than ten or twenty dollars at a time, when her tips were good, was all that she could spare at a time with her working part-time without benefits as a lowly waitress earning more on tips than she did on wages. Then, one day, Jerry wasn't there when she went to his house. He was gone and she wanted to vomit in the street. The downstairs front door was locked and had a sign from the city that officially declared the building condemned. Not knowing where he went and if he was dead or alive, worrying about him, she called all the hospitals but not even knowing his last name, her search from him was fruitless. It wasn't until she received a letter in the mail from Jerry's lawyer a few weeks later that requested her to come to their office that she heard anything about Jerry. She felt more relieved that whether he as alive or dead, his lawyer would hopefully give her some closure. Strangely enough, she didn't know he had a lawyer. How could he even afford a lawyer? Only rich people have lawyers. Maybe Jerry was rich. Maybe he was a reclusive hermit living in a loft in a dilapidated building in Detroit that was infested with rats and roaches but for his loft. Who lives like that but crazy, eccentric people, people who don't want anything to do with the rest of humanity? That was Jerry, the reclusive portrait painter looking at life from afar while drawing people he'd never talk to and never meet. He'd draw quick portraits of people he saw waiting for the bus or riding the bus. He'd draw quick portraits of people dining at the diner and sitting at the counter while he sat hidden in a corner booth. Just as he enjoyed drawing portraits of people who didn't know they were being drawn, he'd liked drawing portraits of homeless people. "Homeless people have a roadmap of character on their faces. The face of a homeless person to me if like gazing in the Grand Canyon to someone else. I can see so much in a face that has survived such pain, agony, and trauma," he said. Except for her friendship, his only friends were the collection of portrait pictures of faces that he drew and that hung from every inch of wall space in his loft or were leaned against the walls in vertical piles of dead heads. Then as if his portraits were sleeping, they all came to life when dug out of their piles and exposed to the light of day. Capturing more in sixty seconds than others can remember in a lifetime, a talented artist, he was a voyeur with paper and pencil. A dangerous man with a pencil and paper, no look escaped him. When he was drawing someone, there wasn't a look that they could hide quickly enough for him to not only see it but also sketch. Later if so motivated, he'd paint those sketches he liked the best. Seemingly with all of the painting he had collecting dust in his loft, he like all of his sketches. If anyone was as talented of a portrait artist of the day, he was a modern day Rembrandt. * * * * * Maybe Jerry died she wondered. Maybe indeed he was rich. In the way that Howard Hughes hid out on the top floor of his Desert Inn penthouse in the Las Vegas, maybe Jerry is hiding out in a Detroit burnt out and partially demolished ghetto while looking for the last remnants of his lost love. Indeed, with Howard Hughes' life filled with money, alcohol, sex, and drugs while spinning out of control in the way of a never ending carousel ride, there were many parallels and some common threads between the two men. In thinking that Jerry may be wealthy, she took heart in believing such a romantic story while knowing that none of it was true and that Jerry was just an old man and a recovering alcoholic and ex-drug addict. Perhaps in the way she was imagining a better life in Boston, he was imagining something that never was with his lost love. Nonetheless what was or what wasn't, she more believed in reality filled with drama and trauma, than she believed in fiction with happy endings. Bursting all of her balloons of hope when her mother disappeared for days and returned drunk and smelling of shit, vomit, and sex, she had already resigned to herself that they'd be no happy endings for her, just misery, heartache, and sadness. In the way that Richard Gere pulled up in a limo to rescue Julia Roberts from her life as a prostitute in Pretty Woman, sadly there was no Prince Charming coming to rescue her from herself. Whether working in Detroit or in Boston, she was destined to be a waitress for the rest of her life. With her having no formal education beyond high school, waitressing is all she knew and all that she could do. If she could depend on anything, she could depend on her big tits earning her extra tips. Yet, needing to have a dream that was filled with hope in the way that Jerry had a dream of a lost love, maybe he is rich and left her money in his will for her to start a new life in Boston. Maybe in the way she watched out for him in life, he'll watch out for her in death. Only in the slovenly way he dressed and with him barely having any furniture in his loft other than a bed, two chairs, and a table, he looked as if he had nothing. He didn't even have a car. If he was a rich man, he was a rich man in goodness, kindness, and in heart and in spirit. If he was a rich man, he was rich with artistic talent. With him being her friend, she was already rich in having had known him. Having lived her life without having any man in her life, she didn't need to depend on any man to earn a living. Bringing closure to the mystery of the sudden disappearance of her friend, she went to his lawyer's office to find out what happened to Jerry. Preparing herself for the worst, she hoped for the best. Hoping he's not dead but alive and well and living in Boston, she imagined him bestowing enough money on her that she didn't have to work as a waitress ever again. * * * * * "Jerry wanted me to give you this," said his lawyer handing her a box that weighed about five pounds. She was hoping the box was a box filled with money, jewels, and a safety deposit box key. "It's his ashes," he said obviously responding to the expectant look on her face that couldn't conceal her excitement. "He said that you promised to take him home to Boston. There's the address with directions where he wanted his ashes scattered." Immediately her look changed from excitement to sadness. If Jerry was here now, he would have drawn her. If Jerry was here with her face so quickly going from excitement to sadness, he would have sketched her six times, and after discarding five of them, he would have painted the sixth one that he drew. If Jerry was here with her now, she wouldn't feel so lost and so alone without having the comfort and fatherly wisdom of her friend. Now what? What the Hell is she doing in Boston alone? She doesn't belong here. Where is she going to go? Where will she live? Even if she had a job, she can't afford to live here. It's way too expensive. After selling all of her possessions and giving up her apartment in Detroit, there was no way she was returning there. With all of him stuffed in a little plastic bag inside of a box, as soon as she accepted ownership of his ashes she started to cry. For such a great man, a man who made her feel good about herself, he was the first man who made her feel pretty instead of plain. As it turns out, she loved him not as a sexual lover but as her best friend. She truly loved him and if he had asked to see her tits, she would have gladly shown him her big breasts. If only he had asked her to give him a hand job or a blowjob with her not having a man in her life, she probably would have gladly done that too. In the way that Prince Charming awakened Sleeping Beauty with a kiss, she'd have sexual intercourse with Jerry if that's what was needed to bring him back to life from the dead. Only, with him already gone, he was there in powder form in that box she held in her hand. With her unable to hold him before because he was too heavy, and with him weighing much less than a tray of dirty dishes that she routinely carried to the kitchen at work, she was easily able to hold him now. Entrusted with the responsibility of getting him home, the very least that she could do in good conscience after all that he's given her with his friendship, she took it upon herself to lay him to rest. "I did promise him that and I will take him home to wherever he wants to go in Boston," said Ginny accepting the ashes and the bus ticket that was inside an envelope along with a business card. She looked at the business card with curiosity that just had a name and a phone number. She quit her job, sold whatever she could sell, and gave away, threw out, and left behind what she couldn't carry. She packed her depressing life into one small carry-on bag and took what little money and possessions she had with her to go to Boston. Alone and sad, she left downtown Detroit as if she was a Pilgrim embarking on a new life in the New World. "Anywhere but here has to be better than this," she said in the way that Dorothy Gale said 'There's no place like home,' in the Wizard of Oz when tapping her red, ruby slippers together and thinking of going home to Kansas. Anywhere but here is where she wanted to go and being that she always dreamt of going to Boston, Jerry gave her the reason to go there and she thanked him for that. Otherwise, she'd be stuck in Detroit for the rest of her sad life while serving eggs, sausages, hash browns, coffee, and apple pie. In the way she's already wasted thirty years of her life languishing in Detroit, she couldn't imagine wasting another thirty years there too. If nothing else, with this trip her first real adventure, no longer can she say that she hasn't been anywhere but Detroit. Along with the box of his ashes was instructions where to dump his ashes. He wanted to be laid to rest in the historic Copp's Hill Cemetery across from here he grew up in the North End of Boston. In the shadow of the Old North Church from his childhood bedroom window and in sight of the U. S. S. Constitution out his kitchen window, he loved this part of Boston. A burial ground that dates back to the early 17th century, 1659 to be exact, no one has been interred there in more than 100 years. Being that it was illegal to dump his ashes there, she'd have to climb the fence and scatter them at night. Along with the ashes and his last resting place instructions was the business card of Joyce Saunders. There was a message on the back of the card for her to call as soon as she made it to Boston. Ginny wondered who she was and what she wanted. Maybe she was a friend of Jerry's and he had arranged a job for her. Wouldn't that be a nice surprise if he gave her a leg up the ladder in Boston? Sometimes it's not what you know but who you know. Perhaps Jerry had friends in high places. Perhaps his old friends are now her new friends. Not having very much money, she needed to find a job as soon as possible. Not worried about finding a job, unlike Detroit, Boston was bustling with restaurants and coffee shops on every corner. With restaurants and coffee shops always looking for good help, surely, she'd find a job in no time. Surely, she'll do much better with tips here in Boston than she did in Detroit. With Boston the most education oriented city in America, surely, she'd have a better chance of finding a man, a better man, a man perhaps with a college education. Hopefully she'd find a man who was more interested in her and who she was than he was interested in just her tits. Only the rent and cost of living was so very much higher in Boston than it was in Detroit. She'll need a roommate or two, someone to split the rent and cost of living expenses. For the time being, until she was more familiar with Boston, for $54 a night, she got a room at the local YWCA on Clarendon Street. She called the number on the business card from a payphone outside. Not able to afford one before, maybe it's time she got a cell phone. * * * * * "Hi. Joyce? Jerry's lawyer gave me your number to call," said Ginny suspiciously while wondering if it was all just a gag. Not even having a chance to identify herself, Joyce already knew who she was. "You must be Ginny," said Joyce. "I've been expecting your call. Do you have a pen and paper?" Ginny rifled through her purse. "I do." Joyce gave her the address. "I'll be here all week until 11 pm. We're having an opening and if you can, I'd like for you to come at 8 pm," she said. Acting as if she knew what an opening was, she didn't. If Jerry was with her, she'd ask him and he'd know what an opening was but he wasn't here with her. He was dead and in the way she was alone in Detroit, but for his box of ashes that she hasn't yet delivered and scattered, she was alone now in Boston. Only, in the way she knew her way around Detroit, she didn't have a clue where she was in Boston. Much smaller than Detroit, nearly half the size, just from her first impression of the historic city, Boston seemed more invitingly quaint and charming. "Okay, but I'll need directions," said Ginny. Ginny supported her pocketbook as an impromptu table by the phone with her pen and paper ready to write the address. "Where are you staying?" Being that the rom she had at the YWCA was clean and better than what she had in Detroit, she wasn't embarrassed to tell Joyce where she was staying. "I'm at the YWCA on Clarendon Street." Unfazed, Joyce seemed okay with her living arrangements too. "Perfect," said Joyce. "You're within walking distance of me, less than a mile, about a five minute, brisk walk." She wondered if Joyce had a job for her. She wondered what Joyce did for a living. She wondered what she was to Jerry, a co-worker, girlfriend, or an ex-lover. "Good because I don't have a car," said Ginny. Maybe if she does well enough in Boston, she can buy an inexpensive used car. "I can send a car to pick you up," she said. She imagined a shiny black, stretch limousine pulling up in front of the YWCA before she imagined one of the many Yellow Cabs she's already seen zooming around Boston. "No, I'm good," said Ginny. "My first time in Boston, I don't mind the walk." Actually, she couldn't wait for tomorrow when she could walk about Boston and do some exploring. "Walk straight down Clarendon Street and take a right onto Newbury Street. I'm at 38 Newbury Street. Brooks Brothers is on the Corner, Cartier Jewelers is next to Brooks brothers and I'm next to Cartier on the same side of the street. I'm about a half dozen blocks away from you," said Joyce. With so many tall buildings in Boston, she imagined Joyce being in a high rise building. "What floor?" She was disappointed somewhat that Joyce was on the first floor. She was hoping she'd be on the fortieth floor so that she could see a nighttime view of Boston. "The first floor. Trust me," she said with a laugh. "You can't miss it." To be continued... Please give me the support of your vote. Going Home Ch. 03 Luke smiled down at me, his eyes hurt. Why were they hurt? I reached up and stroked my hand down his cheek as he carried me in the elevator, sending us up. "What's wrong baby?" I whispered and he just shook his head. "I love you so much Johnny. You know that don't you?" I frowned, there was something really wrong. Wake up damn it! My mind was sluggish beyond reason. Why was I so tired. I frowned again, "Of course I do Blue, and I love you to. You're my everything baby. You're my moon remember?" A tear slipped unnoticed down Luke's cheek, "You're my sun baby. Always and forever. You're the only light in my darkness." I smiled and cuddled up to him. He took us to our room and laid me down on the bed. I reached behind me and wrapped his warm arm around my waist, snuggling back against his chest with a smile. I turned my head, reaching behind me to gently cup the back of his. I turned his lips towards mine and kissed him, eyes still closed. As soon as I tried to stick my tongue in his mouth he pulled back and my eyes flew open. "Oh god Luke I'm sorry." I said, my voice clear as I came back to the present. Luke didn't say anything, just got up and walked out, closing the door quietly behind him. Oh god, what was I doing! I knew I just stabbed the knife that was already in the man's heart that much deeper. I got out of the bed and walked down the hallway. Luke was standing in front of the picture of us hanging on the wall. Me on his back, a beer in my hand, my face painted pale white. I was a dead bride and he was my dead groom, his face black and white, looking gruesome. We were both smiling, drunk off our asses. We were so happy. "Luke. I'm sorry." I said, my voice cracking. He turned around ,tears falling down his face. "I know you are Johnny, but sorry doesn't fix this. Do you know that when your asleep you can't lie. You still love me. And god knows I still love you." I didn't say anything, I just looked down. "It hurts so much Johnny." He whispered and I couldn't help but hug him. I reached out, wrapping him in my arms, standing on tip toe. I held him to me as he cried, and when he picked me up, I wrapped my legs around him. He didn't want sex, just comfort and this was what we used to do. I wrapped my whole body around him, holding him tight. He buried his face in my neck, and I felt the hot tears against my skin. He let me hold him for about five minutes as he cried out his frustrations and anger with me. He pulled back and I let him go. He looked at me and I stared back. He walked away without another word and I stood there, staring after him. After a minute I turned and walked back to the bedroom, grabbing my jacket. I walked downstairs, grabbed my keys and looked at Daniel, who was by the door. "I'll be here at 8 tomorrow. Night." Going Home Ch. 04 This is a short chapter, giving a little look back into the past, and more of a description of the guys. More to come soon! Chapter four: Old times That night I was laying in my bed, it was about 5 am and I knew I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. I kept imagining Luke's face; it was haunting me even with my eyes open. He was so strong, his face artistic but harsh. He could be truly beautiful if he ever wiped the permanent frown from his brow. He had a square face, tan but not from the sun, the Indian in his blood fierce. He had full lips, that were a dark pink, his beautiful eyes were searing with intensity no matter when you looked at them. He had a big nose, I thought with a smile, his face was beautifully carved all but his big nose. I thought it was sexy, made him not so perfect but close enough to be real. He wasn't small in any department, he had wide shoulders like a quarterback, abs like paint rollers under his skin, thick thighs and everything in between was.....balanced with the rest of him. He is so different from me, I thought, my eyes closing as I thought about that Halloween party. I wasn't ridiculously small, but I had nothing on Luke. At 5'9 he literally towered over me at 6'6, even taller than Leslie. He probably weighed almost 300 pounds, while I weighed almost 205. I had muscles, not big ones, but enough that most of the time I could hold my own. Luke had taught me to fight and to fight dirty when I had hit 17 and the first of many of Luke's enemies had tried to come after me. I had blonde hair that was long enough to brush past my ears and get in my eyes, his was short, black and spiked most days. I had a light farmer's tan, which was ghostly next to him, and when his big hand wrapped around my smaller one it felt more right than anything in my life ever had. Leslie was a whole different story. Leslie was 6'4, lean but muscled, probably around 260 pounds. He had brown hair, which was shaved like a military buzz cut, deep brown eyes that could see a lie from a mile away, and his body was basically everything in between me and Luke. He had the country boy tan, the medium sized everything, from hands to feet, and he was peacemaker always. What I felt for Leslie was something completely different than what I felt for Luke. Leslie was my best friend since 5th grade, my first lover in 9th, and the man that changed my life forever when he introduced me to Luke. I closed my eyes as I remembered that night. July 16th, 2002. "Johnny! Johnny dude wake up your gonna miss Matt's party!" I groaned at the sound of Leslie's voice, reaching up to throw my pillow in the general direction it was coming from. Peeking over my arm I saw it was 4 in the afternoon and laughed. "Damn I'm a lazy ass." I muttered and Leslie laughed, climbing into my bed and wrapping an arm around my waist. "Tell me about it," He said as I snuggled back against him. I had just closed my eyes again when he shook me, "Not uh Johnny, it takes an hour to get to Fairngton, and the party starts at like 7, and you still need a shower you stink." I elbowed him in the ribs as I slowly got up, "You want me anyway." I muttered, starting for the bathroom. He curiously kept quiet. I took a long hot shower and slowly came back to the world of the living, smiling seductively at the face that appeared outside my glass shower. "Leslie, there's this spot in the middle of my back, I can't quite reach. Wanna help a guy out?" Leslie laughed before taking off his shirt so it didn't get wet and reaching in the shower. He grabbed a washcloth and rubbed the center of my back slowly, sending chills down my spine. "Mmmm, lower." I whispered and Leslie knew exactly where this was headed as he pulled his hand back. "We don't have time Johnny, as much as it literally hurts me to say it." I rolled my eyes, "Fine, but you owe me." I wasn't really upset, and he smiled good natured. "Actually there is someone I want you to meet tonight Johnny. A friend of mine." I glared at him through the glass, "No. I'm not doing this blind date shit man. You have horrible taste." He shot me an indignant stare, "Hey I got you in my bed didn't I?" I turned the shower off, "I rest my case." Leslie laughed and smacked my ass with the towel before handing it to me. His eyes were literally alit with mischief. "Don't worry Johnny, I got a good feeling you'll like him." That statement scared me more than any other fix up attempts he had tried in the past. A few hours later, after we stopped and chowed down at Burger King, we were finally getting into downtown Fairngton, when Leslie took a sharp right, driving down a couple of blocks to a house I didn't recognize. Well...if house is what you wanted to call it. My house times about 14 could fit into this place, it was so massive. "What are we doing Leslie?" I asked as he got out of the car and opened the door for me. "Well, it's only right that your date should take you to the party right?" He grinned and walked ahead of me to the great big glass thing that must have passed for a door. He knocked soundly as I approached it wearily. A man in black jeans and a muscle shirt, with tattoos covering both arms opened the door wide. "Welcome back man, boss man is expecting you." He had deep growly voice and I raised a brow at him as we passed him. He winked and went back to watching the monitors, a knowing smirk on his face. What exactly he knew that I didn't I wasn't sure of but I was pretty confident I was going to find out. Leslie walked me through the huge mansion, upstairs and past a few rooms until we reached a big dark wood door. It had nothing on the outside but apparently my so called best friend had been coming here a lot that I didn't know of. Leslie grinned at me like a kid at Christmas and knocked on the door. "Come on in Les." A deep voice rolled out and I shivered, my eyes closing for a second. Oh man that guy should do phone sex, was my first thought. Leslie opened the door like you would open the curtain to a magic act, all flourish and dramatic. I walked in, rolling my eyes at him and stopped short as I saw the hulking man that sat behind a huge black desk. Luke Havers looked up from the papers on his desk, his eyes instantly finding mine. I knew my jaw was slightly dropped by the way he smiled. This man was gorgeous, not to mention absolutely huge. I glanced at Leslie and he smiled a smug smile at me. Luke came around the desk, who to me at the time was labeled sexy giant in my book and reached out a hand. "Luke Havers, you must by Johnny." God that voice. He had me biting my lip and staring into his eyes, completely dumbfounded. Leslie cleared his throat...twice and I finally shook my head and took his hand, "Yea, nice to meet you Luke. I would say I've heard a lot about you....but I haven't." I shot a glare at Leslie, one for not telling me anything about this guy or this place and two for not warning me that a total stud was going to be my date. Not to mention he had to be at least 20, probably 22. Luke held my hand, slowly drawing me towards him and my eyes shot up to his as my hands moved up to flatten against his chest. He leaned in, nuzzling next to my ear. "It's nice to meet you to." I swear I could have melted into a puddle at his feet right about then. I was mad at Leslie right? What was my name again? This man sizzled through every nerve I had. Luke held my hand as we had walked out of his huge house, into his big black BMW, and all the way to the party. I kept expecting him to act different in public, be like the tough male he looked like, but boy was I wrong. I literally sat in his lap almost the entire time we were at Matt's party, his arm wrapped securely around my waist and most of the time my eyes locked on his. I couldn't seem to shake him, and I never wanted him to stop looking at me the way he did that night. I was something to eat and he wanted to devour me like a starving man. It made me feel like I could walk on the clouds. Present day "Damn it!" I yelled, getting up and trying to shake the memories away. Grabbing the bottle of Vodka I had brought with me, I sat down on my couch and took a long pull. I had to stop this, I had to. Two hours, a bottle of vodka, and a newly bought case of Smirnoff later I called a taxi and went to Luke's house. Daniel was still on guard duty and he raised a brow at me, but wisely said nothing. I stumbled up the stairs and banged on Luke's door, falling inside when no one answered. Luke was asleep still, the silk sheet pooled low around his naked hips. God he was so gorgeous, he could still take my breath away. Luke's eyes snapped open as I fell through his door and I glared at him. He took one look at me and sighed, running a big hand over his face and through his hair. "Come on Johnny let's get you something to eat." He mumbled, moving to get out of bed. "No!" I yelled, pointing a finger at him, "No you stay there...you....you stay there damn it." Luke rolled his eyes and settled back into the sheets, reaching over to his house phone and pressing a button. I knew what that did but my mind refused to tell me. "You....you need to get out of....my head Luke. Out of it, like....leave!" I think that's what I said, or at least what I meant to. Luke looked at me with serious eyes, "I'm not sure how you want me to do that Johnny." Tears pricked at the back of my eyes and I rubbed my hand across them angrily. "Can you...start by not being so...damn...beautiful all the time? Like really...all the time? Is that...um...uh, do you really have to be....like....all the time?" He sat up again, not moving from the bed but sitting up. His usually spiked up hair was laid back, giving him a very sexily disheveled look. At that moment Leslie walked in the door, wearing only a pair of boxers, his eyes unfocused from sleep. "Oh great, come on bring in every other guy I think is hott to why don't you, where's Brad Pitt? In the closet?" I thought about that and laughed out loud, "Ha, get it...in the closet! Ha." I sat down heavily on the floor and Leslie glanced at Luke who was smiling, trying not to laugh at me. "Don't do it! Don't you laugh at me Luke Havers or....or I'll throw up on you!" I pointed a shaky finger at Leslie, "Same for you...Mr. I sleep with no clothes on." I looked back and forth between the both of them, "I mean come on, do you go to sleep saying, huh...how um...how sexy can I be tomorrow, just in case....I...just in case Johnny comes in? I think you do.....yea that's it." I closed my eyes and leaned back against Luke's wooden dresser, the coolness of the polished wood soothing my flushed skin. Leslie sat on the trunk at the foot of Luke's bed as Luke himself carefully got out of bed and put on some semblance of clothing, or so I hoped. "Do you know how horny I am? Like....do you even know? No...you don't...because....because you fuck like bunnies I bet. Little bunnies...but not white....or with tails. Where did that saying come from? Have you ever seen a bunny fuck a lot....because....I haven't." Luke came over and knelt in front of me, putting his smooth fingers under my chin and tilting my head towards him until I opened my eyes. He had put on a pair of silk pajama bottoms that brushed against my knees, soft like a whisper. "Why you doing this to yourself Johnny? Because of last night?" I wanted to move his hand but I didn't, "No, because you're in my head....and you won't leave." Luke was excellent at getting me to talk when I was shitfaced, and man was I there. "What exactly am I doing in your head Johnny?" I smiled a little, "You remember when we met? I do...I had tried to seduce Leslie like...right before that, which I think I thought was funny later....maybe. You were so.....like HUGE and I couldn't keep my eyes off of you. I think....I think I looked in your eyes for like....an hour or um like 5 hours straight. That's so silly. I was so silly." Luke smiled and Leslie coughed behind his hand so he didn't laugh, "You're not silly Johnny, I loved that you couldn't take your eyes off of me, because I sure as hell couldn't take my eyes off of you." I just nodded, getting to that point now where I didn't really know what was going on in the slightest. Luke knew that, and he, true to character, took advantage. "Johnny, earlier, when we got into that fight, you said you were with someone else, what was his name again?" Leslie moved forward, a frown on his face but Luke waved him back, shooting him a warning glare over his shoulder. "I did? Are you sure? Because I don't think I'd tell you Daniel's name, you'd hurt him. Are you sure I did?" Luke tensed but kept his calm face on, "Yea we were just talking, I just forgot because it's so early and we had a long night. How'd you say you met that guy anyway?" I knew he was lying...somewhere in that one part of my brain that I wasn't really connected to at the moment, I knew. "He lives in the apartment above mine. Nice guy, runs a lot. He had these little green booty shorts he ran in...it was hilarious." Luke nodded and then ran his hand down my face, to my neck, where his thumb moved in slow circles around my vein, my pulse coming to rapid life when he touched me. "Why don't you get some sleep Johnny okay? Sleep it off and come down to the compound in a few hours." That sounded like such a good idea when he said it. "Okay Blue." I whispered and his eyes flinched for a minute before he very carefully, so I didn't get sick, lifted me off the floor and laid me down against the cool silk sheets that still carried his scent. I smiled at Leslie, and held out my hand, my rational mind already asleep and instinct taking over. He frowned, looking at Luke first before slowly coming over to me. I grabbed his arm and pulled him down next to me, turning slowly on my side so that my back was against his chest. Leslie sighed and wrapped his arm around my waist. I smiled and closed my eyes, content for the moment. "I missed you guys." I whispered as sleep slowly came over me. The last thing I remember was Luke's hand stroking my long hair. "Don't worry Johnny, were not going anywhere, and neither are you. You'll never have to miss us again." I woke up to a pounding headache. Oh god I couldn't believe how shitty my body felt. I groaned, cuddling against the body behind me. Leslie nuzzled his nose closer to my neck and drifted back to sleep. Leslie. Leslie? I turned my head and found him shirtless with only boxers on, his arm around me with a peaceful look on his face. In Luke's bed. My eyes widened and I very carefully extracted myself from his big arm, replacing my warmth with the pillow I had been laying on. Man the shit I could get myself into. There was something about this morning that I needed to remember, a little alarm going off in my head but it was fuzzy. I looked at the clock on Luke's nightstand and it read 3:37 PM. Damn I always did sleep like the dead when I was drunk. I closed my eyes, trying to remember what had happened. It was all a fog, and I vaguely remembered something about Brad Pitt coming out of the closet? Maybe? I shook my head and headed to the door to go down to the compound. Leslie rolled over as I opened the door. "Johnny wait." I sighed and waited as he got out of bed and pulled on one of Luke's shirts. He walked up to me and I expected him to say something or be all romantic when I didn't want to be. I did not however expect him to shut the door and literally pull me away from it. "What the hell Leslie?" I asked, shoving him away from me. He didn't try to come after me, just stood very calmly in front of the door, arms crossed. "You know you talk a lot when your drunk right Johnny?" I frowned, yea I knew that. "Yea, so? It's probably nothing you haven't heard before." His eyes met mine and I could see something like sadness in them. He was regretting was he was about to say. "You told Luke, Johnny. You told him who your ex is." Oh god. I remembered it vaguely now that I thought about it. I ran at the door, screaming at Leslie when he refused to move. "He'll kill him Les. Kill. Him. He doesn't deserve that he's a nice guy. Please, please let me help him." Leslie didn't budge, "It was hours ago Johnny, you'd never make it in time. Luke's gone, and more than likely so is your friend. Look I'm sorry I really am." At that moment Luke opened the door, making Leslie stumble a little and giving me the opening I needed. I pushed Leslie and ran at Luke, knocking him hard into the wall in the hallway. "What did you do! What the fuck did you do to him you asshole!" Luke recovered quickly and pushed me back, "Call him and find out." He growled, before stalking past me into his room and slamming the door. I frowned, but pulled out my phone anyway, quickly dialing Daniel's number and praying he would answer. "Hello?" I let out the breath I had been holding as his soft voice came over the line. "Hey Daniel it's Johnny. How ya doin?" I tried for casual, but inside I was freaking. Had Luke hurt him? Threatened him? There were so many things that he could have done my mind was reeling. "Hey man, I'm good how are you? I met your boss today, he came by to grab some of your stuff, sorry that your car got wrecked dude. He seemed pretty cool though, but I gave him your spare key in case you need it." All that did was confuse me more. "Okay man thanks. I'll talk to you later okay?" "Alright, later John." I closed the phone slowly, dropping my arm to my side. He was fine. He had met Luke, infamous for his jealous anger, and he was fine. Hell he liked him. Daniel had no clue that he had just missed the equivalent of a speeding bullet to the head. Man I was so confused. I walked over to Luke's door and knocked softly. Leslie opened it, patting my shoulder as he walked out, closing the door behind him after I was in. Luke was back in bed, on his stomach, his shirt on the floor and his arms wrapped around the pillow underneath him. He looked.....sad. I approached the bed slowly, "You didn't do anything." He didn't look at me when he answered, "He's a nice guy Johnny, I can see why you'd like him." I frowned, walking over to his side and kneeling down so we were eye to eye. He didn't turn away and I suppose that was a plus. "Yea, he is. That's never stopped you before Luke. I am thankful don't get me wrong but....what happened?" His electric blue eyes looked right through me I swear, " I just wanted to meet the kind of guy you really want, see what he was like. I got what I was looking for." It clicked then. Daniel was nothing like Luke, not at all. He was sweet and kind and caring and gentle where Luke was hard and rough planes, rugged, and ridiculously prideful. He could mean, and hurtful and do anything it takes to get what he wanted. Daniel was a runner, with a wiener dog. Luke was hurting because the only guy I had dated since him, the only other guy I had wanted....was his exact opposite. "You're wrong Luke," I said softly and he frowned. "Let's just say, he's the exact opposite of my type." Luke didn't say anything, just stared at me, but I saw it, the tension leaving his body, his tight shoulders relaxing at the slight frown on his brow smoothing out. I stood without a word to leave and his hand reached out quick as a snake, wrapping around mine. My eyes swung to his as my fingers instinctively wrapped around his. Nothing happened, he just stared at me and I just looked back. Eventually he let me go, and I walked out of his room and down to the compound without another word. Going Home Ch. 04 Please give me the support of your vote. * Ginny takes Jerry home to Boston At 7:45 pm Ginny proceeded to walk down Clarendon Street from the YWCA to Newbury Street in the heart of the Back Bay of Boston. Even though Boston was a big city, the city felt small. She walked half the length of Clarendon Street nearly from the South End to three blocks within the Charles River. Within sight of the Western Hotel and the Copley Square library on her left, she walked by the Copley Square Hotel and saw the 60th story John Hancock tower on her right. Looking as if one or the other didn't belong there, with one building so old and the other so modern, the mirrored Hancock building dwarfed the historic Trinity Church on her right. With her having bought a book of Boston before her bus trip, she was already familiar with a few of the points of interest. It was one thing to see the sights pictured in a book and quite another thing to see, hear, and experience Boston in person. Then, when she rounded the corner to Newbury Street, even at this late hour, the street was crowded with people and bustling with outdoor cafés, restaurants, wall to wall boutiques, and hair salons. As if floating down a river, she moved along with a sea of people all seemingly going in the same direction on one side of the sidewalk and moving in the opposite direction on the other side of the street. There were some who didn't understand the proper protocol of negotiating Newbury Street and as if fighting the current by elbowing their way through the crowd, they were at odds with the crowd. With luxury cars double parked and meter maids ticketing everyone parked illegally, a fleet of tow trucks waited at the ready around the corner to tow cars away. Yet, being this was Newbury Street, the Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills version in Boston, this street was resplendent with expensive and exclusive shops and high end stores. Being that this was Newbury Street, a street that was frequented by people with money, most patrons were polite when negotiating their way through the crowded sidewalk. If only Ginny knew what it meant to own a business on Newbury Street, she may have had more of an inkling of what was in store for her. With her living in one of the most depressed parts of Detroit, she's never seen as many businesses congregated in one spot. Stores, shops, and boutiques were everywhere. Too much to see and with every business alive with people, Newbury Street was a videogame of activity. As if watching a tennis match, she looked from one side of the street to the other and back again. Then, when she looked up, just short elevator rides away, there were even more businesses looking out over Newbury Street on the second, third, and fourth floors. Enjoying the sights and the sounds, she slowed her pace to look in the window of some of the shops. When she walked a block closer, and was within view of 38 Newbury Street, as if she was seeing her reflection in a mirror, she saw full size portraits of her face in color decorating the windows of Saunder's Art Gallery. "Oh, my God," she said standing still while staring. "I don't believe it. That's me. Jerry painted those of me," she said totally stunned seeing herself in life sized, living color instead of in black and white pencil sketches. * * * * * Shocked that it was her image staring back at her, she couldn't believe it was her portrait. Having never seen full sized portraits of herself in color, only the pencil sketches that Jerry made, she couldn't believe her eyes by how very many portraits there were of her. She opened the door and there were even more portraits of her on every wall. Her eyes went from the portraits to the dozens of art patrons milling around the gallery. By invitation only, the gallery was closed to the general, walk-in public for Jerry's showing. Recognizing her immediately and giving her a smile, a guard at the door motioned her to check-in at the front desk. "Hi, I'm looking for Joyce," she said to the person sitting behind the counter. "I'm looking for Joyce, um Joyce Saunders," said Ginny pulling out her business card from her pocket to read from it when all she needed to do was to look at the sign on the wall, Joyce Saunder's Art Gallery. Ginny looked at the woman sitting behind the counter. She was very pretty. With her long, lush, blonde hair and big, blue eyes, she could have been a model. Even though the woman was small breasted, Ginny wished she looked more like her than she did her portrait. Just once, she'd love to be happy with her looks instead of thinking of herself as being so plain. Just once she wished her pretty face instead of her big tits was the focal point of men's attention. Yet, getting her wish, Jerry had painted her portrait over and again. Getting her wish, her face was now the focal point of not only men but also women too. "And you are?" Suddenly feeling that she was in the wrong place already by the casual way she was dressed, the woman made her feel that she was in the wrong place even though she knew differently by all of the portraits of her that decorated the walls. Ready to walk out, she wanted to hide from all of the attention that the portraits of her garnered. Ready to flee, she didn't even know what she was doing here. With all the portraits of her so proudly displayed, and especially with the woman at the front desk not even knowing who she was, she wondered if this was some sort of sick, elaborate joke at her expense. Yet, before she could even answer the woman and before she could turn and run out the front door and disappear back in the crowd on Newbury Street again, she turned to her name being called. "Ginny!" Her voice echoed against the tiled floor and stark white walls but for her colorful portraits. "It's so very nice to meet finally you," said Joyce recognizing her immediately, walking briskly towards her, and giving her a hug. Joyce was a stylish woman in her late 40's or early 50's. "Hi," said Ginny feeling her personal space being invaded by her hug, a woman she didn't know and only talked to once on the phone. Something she never did in Detroit and perhaps that they always did in Boston but when Joyce talked to her, invading her personal space, she was standing so very close. Standing so close to her, Ginny could smell her expensive perfume and nearly taste the breath mint she was sucking on in her mouth. Joyce acted as if she was her best friend about to whisper secrets. When Ginny took a step back to regain control of her space, Joyce took half a step forward. "After having studied all of the portraits to decide which portraits are the best to show on which wall, if only by Jerry's paintings of you, I feel as if I already know you," she said turning to give her employee sitting at the reception desk a disapproving look for not recognizing the star of the art show. Joyce returned her focus to her guest of honor. "There're all so amazing," said Ginny stunned by the pure number of her portraits that decorated every white, blank space of every wall. Seemingly and as it should be, Joyce was more interested in Ginny than in the portraits. "Let me look at you," said Joyce. "Allow me to take your coat." Joyce called one of her assistants over to take Ginny's coat to her office. Then, Joyce took a step back and looked at Ginny no doubt in the same way that she looked at her portraits. If Ginny knew she was going to be so inspected, she would have worn something fancier, a dress perhaps, instead of slacks, a blouse, and a sweater beneath her raggedy, old coat. "If I had known I'd be the center of attention, I would have worn a dress," said Ginny folding her arms across her abundant breasts. She acted as if she was ashamed of her breasts and was trying to hide her huge bosoms. "Come with me," said Joyce taking Ginny by the arm. She escorted Ginny to the middle of the main room where a waiter carrying a try of carrying a tray of champagne approached them. Joyce took a glass for herself and handed a glass of champagne to Ginny. "Everyone," said Joyce tapping on her champagne glass with her huge, sparkling, diamond ring. "Everyone. Please, everyone. May I have your attention please?" With portraits of her everywhere, with her the unwanted, center of attention, and with her not thinking of herself as a very pretty woman, whether notoriety and/or celebrity, she felt unworthy of either just the same. With the paintings all making her look prettier than she was, Ginny wanted to hide in shame and embarrassment. Even though her portraits looked like her but with her portraits hiding some of her imperfections and concealing some of her flaws, the paintings looked so much better than she did in person. She couldn't help but feel that by making a personal appearance that she was disappointing those who were ready to buy her portrait. "Oh God," said Ginny under her breath. "I'm so embarrassed. Had I known this is what you meant by you having a showing, I would have worn a bag over my head," she said with a laugh. "I'm so nervous." She looked around the room and with everyone staring at her, she felt so uncomfortably invaded by the portraits that decorated every wall of the art gallery. With him capturing the essence of her, the portraits revealed every facial expression she's ever had in Jerry's presence. There were other portraits of her that she never modeled for him and that were no doubt taken from his imagination of her. "Don't be silly. You'll be fine," said Joyce squeezing her arm. "This is Ginny the subject in Jerry Blake's paintings." As if Joyce had just threw water in her face, she turned to her in shock. "What?" She did a double take and stared at Joyce as if she had made a mistake when saying Jerry's last name. What did she just say? Jerry Blake? "Pardon? Jerry Blake?" Touching her arm, she looked at Joyce with stunned surprise. "That's my name. Blake is my last name. You said Jerry Blake." She looked at Joyce for an explanation. "Typical Jerry," said Joyce with a kind smile. "He didn't tell you that he was your father, did he?" * * * * * As if she had been hit in the back of the head with a baseball bat, she finally got the connection. Duh? How stupid could she be? Jerry's her father. Now it made sense to her why he spent so much time with her. Joyce gave her a motherly smile. "My father? Jerry was my father?" Ginny stood there shocked beyond belief. "He didn't volunteer his last name and respecting his privacy, I didn't even think to ask. I never knew his last name. I only knew him as Jerry." Joyce put an arm around her back. "Well Jerry knew a lot about you," said Joyce. Suddenly Ginny felt used. She suddenly felt deceived. She didn't understand why Jerry didn't tell her he was her father. She was saddened that Jerry didn't feel the need to tell her that he was her Dad. So glad now that she didn't flash him her tits, she couldn't believe he was her biological father, her real Dad. With him no longer around to answer them, she had so many unanswered questions to ask of him. If only she knew he was her father, there were so very many things that she wanted to know. With her having a lifetime of unanswered questions, there were so very many things she wanted to know not only about him but also about her mother too. It's not fair that he's no longer here to answer her questions. It's not fair that her mother's dead too. It's not fair that she's alone in the world with just her in a new city and with no money and without even a job. Even when her mother was alive, when she wasn't sleeping off what she did the night before, she was lost in her drunken stupors. "I don't understand," said Ginny. Joyce ushered Ginny to a bench that was beneath a portrait of her against the far wall for some privacy from the crowd of lookers and gawkers. As if the portrait was her mirror image and with the real live subject sitting beneath the painting, a small crowd of curious spectators gathered to study her from afar while, no doubt, comparing her to her portrait. "With your father out of control from drugs and alcohol," said Joyce whispering. "Your mother, Elizabeth, left Jerry after she discovered he was having sex with his models. A common thing that happens with an artist and his models, Jerry was no different. He had money and the models needed work. Sometimes, if models give an agent, an artist, a photographer, and/or sculpture sexual favors, they get more work," said Joyce. Joyce's shrug that made Ginny wonder if she was once an artist's model and if she once had sex with artists in exchange for more modeling work. She was certainly pretty enough to be an artist's model, albeit a bit older now and apparently not needing the money she'd make modeling when she owned an art gallery on Newbury Street. As if she was dreaming all this, Ginny looked at Joyce with disbelief. She was still reeling from the secreted fact that Jerry was her father. Damn him! Why didn't he tell her? "I don't understand," she said calmly and with a face full of confusion. "Why now? Why didn't he contacted me before? Why didn't he tell me that he was my father?" Joyce frowned her sympathy for Ginny. "Jerry has had private detectives searching for your mother and for you ever since your mother left him and took you with her thirty years ago. It wasn't until after your mother died that they found you living in Detroit of all places, practically right under their noses," said Joyce. Difficult to believe all of this was happening to her and that Jerry was not only her father but also a famous artist, Ginny looked at Joyce as if she was eavesdropping on someone else's conversation. With her in Boston, a place she always wanted to visit, all of this was too much to take in and digest all at once. "With me growing up rich instead of growing up poor and having the best schools, good friends, and the best clothes, my life could have been so different," said Ginny with sadness. "I could have had a father. Maybe my mother would have not been the drunken whore that she became," she said with sorrow. Joyce gave Ginny a hug before continuing. "I'm so sorry Ginny," said Joyce. "I wish they would have found you and your mother years ago. With Jerry clean and sober for the past twenty years, things would have been so different for you and your mother." Ginny bowed her head as if she was praying or was about to cry. "Me too," said Ginny. Joyce too Ginny's hand in hers. "Even though your mother was born in this country and was a United States citizen, when they couldn't find her after several years of searching, Jerry's lawyers assumed Elizabeth had fled to Hungary with you and where her mother, your grandmother, was born," said Joyce. Hungary? She's half Hungarian? Guessing that he was English, she wondered what nationality Jerry was. Not knowing much personal information about her mother, Ginny knew even less about her grandmother. The only people she knew from Hungary were gypsies and the Gabor sisters. With her big tits and blonde hair, she imagined herself being related to Zsa Zsa Gabor. Maybe someday if ever she's rich, she'll take a trip to Budapest to see where her ancestors lived. "I see," said Ginny. Joyce squeezed her hand before telling her more. "With Jerry's money and influence, he could find her and bring her back from wherever she was hiding with you in the United States but not if she was living overseas in Europe. Only, he never figured she'd be hiding in plain sight in Detroit of all places," said Joyce. "There's a lot of people with the last name of Blake in this country and throughout the world, he'd have to hire an army of detectives to interview everyone with the last name of Blake." At the forefront of her thoughts, Ginny couldn't help but think how different her life would have been and could have been if only Jerry had found her years earlier. "If only I had known Jerry was my father, I would have asked him so many more things about him and about my mother," said Ginny. Joyce gave Ginny an understanding look. "This showing of Jerry's portraits is all expressly for you. All of these paintings are of you and of your mother. Even though the contract I have is with your father, upon his death, the proceeds of the sale go to you. Once he found you, he's spent the last three years of his life legally transferring his assets to you. You're free to keep whichever portraits you want. Just tell me which portraits you'd like to have for yourself and I'll put a sold sign on them," said Joyce. "I'm just stunned by all of this," said Ginny looking around at the portraits again before turning her attention back to Joyce. "It's a bit much for me to process." "Your father knew that the best time to sell his art was upon his death, which is why he wanted me to show his work and wanted to find you before he died. I have other portraits in my office that aren't for sale that Jerry thought you may want to have. Perhaps you should look through those first before making your selections. There are other paintings that he's painted of course, but this show is just about you and your mom. All of his paintings are catalogued and are stored at my warehouse. I can take you there tomorrow," said Joyce. "I'd like that," said Ginny. "I'd like to see what else he painted other than my mother and me." "Jerry painted hundreds of portraits but mostly of you and your mother," said Joyce. "Everything he painted and entrusted with me, now belongs to you. After this art show, you are free to keep whatever portraits are left and/or sell them through me as Jerry has given me the exclusive rights to sell his work." Overwhelmed at seeing so many portraits of herself and of her mother so professionally mounted and displayed, Ginny looked around the room at all the portraits of her and of her mother. There were portraits of her that she had never seen before done when she was a baby in her mother's arms and a toddler walking around their old house in Concord, Massachusetts. She barely remembered that far back and, with her father never home, she never remembered him being there. She was sad that she didn't even recognize him as her Dad when she saw him. Yet, how could she recognize him and why would she recognize him when she hadn't seen him in 30-years? Yet, the creative genius that he was, just as Jerry had captured her, he had captured her mother too. Side by side, with them both about the same age when Jerry painted Elizabeth 30 years ago and recently painted her, they more looked like sisters than they did mother and daughter. Seeing the portraits of her mother made her wish she had known her mother better too but with her drinking and whoring getting in the way of them having a loving mother and daughter relationship, the whole thing was just so sad. "I knew he was a good artist but I had no idea he was this good, good enough to have his own art show," said Ginny. Joyce nodded her head in affirmation. "He was the best," said Joyce. "I've known your father for thirty years when he hired me as one of his models." Ginny figured that Joyce was not only one of her father's models but also was intimate with her father. Perhaps she the reason for her mother leaving her father. Yet, no matter. All of that was water under the bridge of life now. "I don't even remember him drawing some of these portraits of me," she said. Ginny looked at the paintings as if they were of someone else rather than of her. Even though she recognized herself in the paintings, she looked better. She actually looked pretty. Only, beyond how she looked, it was the expressions and the essence of her that he captured. With every picture telling a different story, every portrait of her haunted her in a different way, some good, some bad, some happy, and some sad. Going Home Ch. 04 "Before he left more than three, long years ago, but for a few portraits of your mother that he wanted to save for you should he ever find you, he commissioned me to sell them all. Honestly, with him only painting portraits of Elizabeth, and with him pining over the loss of her and painting portraits of her over and again, I couldn't sell the ones I already had. With his portraits works of art before, his paintings suddenly lack his passion, his love, and his heart and soul," said Joyce. "He was a mess when I first met him and then as if he was electrified, he suddenly came more alive and animated. He always came by for coffee and a slice of apple pie where I worked while he sketched me. Those are times that I'll cherish for the rest of my life," said Ginny. "He told me how he had found you after being given a lead from his detective agency. Falling out of favor with his following, because of you, he had a resurgence of interest when he started painting pictures of you," she said. "Not wanting to keep them there in his loft in Detroit for fear that they'd be stolen or destroyed in a fire, every month he'd send me a new shipment of portraits. With one portrait better than the other, he was painting with passion again because of you." "I see," said Ginny. "Even I can see the difference in some of his work now to the ones he painted 30 years ago." Ginny studied the painting of his mother while comparing them to the portraits he did of her. "He painted you with a new found passion in the way he painted your mother more than 30 years ago. With you reenergizing his passion for painting, he was so happy that he found you. No doubt not wanting to spoil the natural friendship that blossomed between you was the reason why he didn't tell you that you were his daughter. He feared you'd be angry with him and wouldn't want to see him anymore. Now popular again, especially after his death, most of his paintings sell in the five figures with a few selling at auction in the six figures," she said. Ginny looked at her stunned. "Wow," said Ginny. "I don't believe all of this. I remember some of these pictures. I remember him sketching them in front of me," she said pulling the sketch from her purse that her father gave her. Joyce's eyes widened with interest. "Oh my God," said Joyce accepting the sketch from Ginny. "Is it signed? It is signed," said Joyce examining the signature. "This is worth a lot, an original sketch of you by Jerry Blake. This is so rare. None of these sketches survived. He destroyed them as soon as he started painting from them." Ginny watched Joyce examine the sketch as if it was a rare stamp and before returning it to Ginny she had one of her assistants wrap it in paper before placing it in a plastic bag. "I'm just shocked by all of this," said Ginny. "To be honest, in the way he dressed and his disheveled appearance, I thought Jerry was a bum. I thought he was homeless. I never suspected he was a famous artist and I surely didn't know he was my Dad." Joyce stood to put her hand in her pocket. "Oh, I nearly forgot," said Joyce. She pulled an envelope from her pocket. "Jerry wanted me to give this to you. It's a bankbook. There's also a stock portfolio in your name too. Your personal banker has all the particulars. Here's his business card. The accounts are all in your name, Virginia Blake. And here's the business card of his lawyer. All his assets, his condo on the wharf, his summer home on Cape Cod, his money, and his cars now all belong to you," said Joyce. "I don't believe this," said Ginny. "You don't have to work as a waitress anymore. People will be waiting on you," said Joyce with a smile. "Until you get settled, no more YWCA for you," she said with a laugh. "I've arranged a suite at the Four Seasons. My driver will take you there and tomorrow, I'll take you shopping before taking you to Jerry's condo that overlooks Boston Harbor." Ginny opened the bankbook to look at the balance. With just this one account, just for being kind to an old man, she was a wealthy woman. * * * * * For all of you young, blonde, blue-eyed busty woman, even the plain looking ones, remember to be kind to an old man. A bit of advice, don't even wait for him to ask, just show him your tits. You never know. You just never know. The End Going Home Ch. 05 Here you go my amazing fans :) The one thing you've all been wanting, along with a few more interesting tidbits I've been neglecting. Enjoy all thank you so much for reading :) Chapter five: strange emotions October 23, 2002 "Baby? Where are you going?" I was beyond tired, passed out in Luke's bed and opened my eyes as he tried to sneak out of bed. He froze for a second before looking back at me and giving me that smile that I knew was fake. Whatever was going to come out of his mouth next was going to be a lie. "I'm hungry babe, we had a....exhausting night." He was trying to distract me. "So you should be in bed...with me." I knew he was leaving. There was something going on he wouldn't tell me, something being built under his house. I heard the hammers and drills sometimes, but he liked to pretend that it wasn't happening, shielding me from whatever it was. I had already guessed Luke was into drugs, maybe more. He was stupidly rich, he had a mansion for Christ's sake, and the guys that hung around here weren't exactly upstanding citizens. I had never really been involved with anything like that before, so I wasn't really sure how I would handle it. I knew I loved this man though, 3 months and I couldn't stand being away from him for longer than a couple of days, if that. So I was pretty sure I could handle him being a drug dealer or whatever it was he was into if he would just open up and let me have the chance. "I'll be back babe I promise." He leaned over and gave me a small peck on the lips, something he did when he was feeling guilty or bad and then pulled on some jeans and a shirt and left without waiting for a response from me. I gave him about a 5 minute head start....then I got up, already dressed and followed him. I saw his BMW pulling out of the drive way and rushed to the motorcycle he had been letting me use. I kept the light off and followed him at a leisurely distance. If anyone knew when they were being followed it was Luke. Finally he pulled into a parking garage, going up to the third floor which seemed pretty much empty and stopped. I parked on the first level and used my small size to slink up without a sound to where he was. I perched behind a pillar as Luke got out of the BMW and walked over to a little blue Miata, where a short twitchy guy slowly got out. Leslie followed Luke, looking more intimidating then I had ever seen him in a black muscle shirt and dark jeans. I watched with wide eyes as Leslie walked behind the little man, grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him close to Luke. "Jim....Jimmy Jim Jim, tell me you have my money. Please, I really don't want to get blood on me, I got a date tonight." Luke's voice was scary as hell, colder than I had ever heard it and downright terrifying. Jim, whoever he was, started to shake. "Look Luke, man I got it, I got it, I just don't have it with me right now, but I can get it, I swear." Luke took a deep breath before he pulled out a 9mm Beretta. My eyes widened. Oh god, oh no tell me he wasn't going to do what I think he was. "That's the third time Jim. You know the saying. Three times..." He leveled the gun at the man's chest, "And you're out." The explosion that gun made shook me to my core, making me yell. Leslie's eyes flashed over to me as Jim fell to the ground and Luke's head whipped around. "Fuck Johnny! What the hell do you think you're doing!" Luke screamed at me, coming towards me. I scrambled back, tripping over myself as I turned around and ran back towards the bike. I heard Luke coming after me, and the BMW start, presumably by Leslie and kept running. I wasn't stupid enough to have my keys in my pocket when I reached the bike, they were out and already in my hand. I knew it was stupid that I brought a motorcycle I knew it, I yelled at myself. I drove off, squealing tires as Luke jumped into the BMW that was right on my ass. "Follow him!" he screamed and Leslie peeled out after me. Oh man, oh shit, oh man. What the hell was I supposed to do now? My mind wasn't even comprehending what I had seen. That man was dead. Like...dead. Gone, not coming back. A hole through his heart stopping his life as quick as I could blink. This can't be real. I wasn't paying attention to the road, and when I got to a red light I was stupid enough to slow down. I shook my head at my stupidity and went to speed up again, looking behind me to see the BMW wasn't there. I frowned before I relaxed in relief. Maybe they decided I wasn't worth chasing. That was the last time I ever made that mistake. A big body landed hard on the back of my bike, making me swerve all over the road before Luke reached around me and took control of the bike. Leslie, who was behind us, followed so close I'm surprised he didn't clip the bike as I let my hands drop from the handles, trying to think as Luke drove us to his house. We got to the sprawling mansion and Luke didn't even try to talk to me, grabbing me roughly by the back of the neck and dragging me into the house, past the guard that stared at us with unflinching eyes. We got some curious looks from the guys milling about the house but no one was stupid enough to say anything. Luke dragged me upstairs, practically carrying me he was walking so fast. We got to his room, adjoined to his office and he walked in, letting Leslie slam the door behind him and throwing me so hard on the bed I bounced. Luke paced around the room for a minute, running his hand through his short hair while Leslie took up station in front of the door, looking at me with sad eyes. I wondered for a second if he would let his boss kill his best friend. I decided then I didn't really want to know. Luke turned back to me, his face breaking from the mask I knew so well. He was scared shitless. "What the fuck Johnny. Why would you follow me, I thought you trusted me." I stood slowly, watching his eyes which were starting to look a little frantic. "Luke how can I trust you when you don't trust me? You hide from me, you lie to me, trust is a two way street man, and so far I'm the only one on it." My voice was low and calm, though my mind was going insane. Luke walked over to me and I fought very hard not to move, even when he put his hand on my cheek. I was so scared of him, knowing my life was very much in his hands now. Luke would decide if I became another missing teen. He glanced at Leslie and my friend nodded, pulling out his phone and walking out the door. I didn't know exactly but I think he was making a call about the body in that garage. "I don't want to lose you Johnny." Luke whispered, drawing my eyes back to him, his voice so filled with emotion my heart broke for him. I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him close, not fighting when he picked me up, just wrapping my body around him. He held me so tight it hurt but I didn't care. I loved this man...I loved him no matter what. "Then let me in Luke. Don't hide from me anymore. I can handle a lot more than you think I can, and I would do anything for you. I love you Luke. No matter what." His eyes were guarded, and I could see he wanted to trust me, he really did but he was scared. This was a very revealing night, I had never seen him show so much emotion in the past three months, not once. I was still scared, i was terrified actually, i was still trying to come to terms that he had killed a man, that he was a capable of that. My mind however was also realizing that this man was the love of my life, and i might not be like him or approve of how he does things, but i loved him, and i was going to have to take the good and the bad if i wanted to have him. He slowly put me down and started pacing in front of me again. I didn't push, just crossed my arms and propped myself up against one of the banisters on his four post bed. Luke looked like he was doing some serious thinking, the kind that made frown lines deep on his forehead. Finally he stopped and looked at me, his face smoothing. "How much do you want to know Johnny? How deep do you want to go?" I knew my answer before it came out of my mouth, "Everything Luke. Everything." He looked into my eyes for a long moment before nodding, "It's your funeral," I think he whispered before grabbing my hand and walking me out of his room. We walked to the end of the hall where he pushed a random piece of the move, shocking me to my core when it moved. A brand new, probably just installed elevator was behind that piece of wall and I looked at him in surprise. Luke stepped onto the elevator and held his hand out to me. I knew if I took it my life was going to change, maybe for the worse or maybe for the better, but either way it would be with Luke. "Man I'm dumb." I said, slapping my hand into his. "Yea, yea you are Johnny boy." Luke said but he was grinning from ear to ear as the doors shut. Present day I wondered how long it would take for me to not think about him. Probably years...a lot more than two at least. I looked up from the paperwork I was doing as he and Leslie came down the elevator together. Luke was his usual composed self and Leslie was, as always, trying to look scary and failing. At least to me. They made their way over to me, Luke talking to a few people on the way. Why were they coming over here? Oh right I was at Luke's desk. I didn't even realize where I was, automatically going to his office to do my paperwork like I used to. Only difference is there used to be two chairs on this side of the big desk. They walked in as I was standing up. "Sit down Johnny boy." Luke said in that demanding voice of his, reaching behind him to roll in my old chair. I shook my head, "No Luke it's cool. I'll go work at the workstation, it's no big." I went to leave and he stepped in front of me, taking a deep breath that calmed his big body. "Stay...please Johnny." Both Leslie and I frowned. Luke didn't say please; most of the time he didn't need to. I wasn't going to be the one that poked the sleeping tiger so I nodded, letting him walk past me to his chair and pulling mine up by the desk. I didn't sit nearly as close as I used to, basically sitting at the side of the desk, and to my amazement Luke didn't say anything. We both started doing our work as Leslie left and I tried hard not to twitch in the awkward silence. "Ok Johnny boy put on some music or something here." Luke said suddenly after about five minutes. I laughed and he laughed and I put my iPod on shuffle, sitting it in the center of the desk so we could both hear it. That definitely broke the tension, both us bobbing our heads or tapping our foot. Then my stupid iPod had to betray me. Follow me, by Uncle Kracker started playing...Luke and I's song. I tensed, reaching forward but Luke beat me to it. I was shocked to my core when Luke was the one that reached out, tapping the button to change the song. I looked up at him and he smiled, just a little quirk of his lips. I smiled back, telling myself to get back to work. Luke kept it up all day. I kept waiting for the other shoe to fall on his nice side but it didn't. He opened doors for me, he helped me with my work, he picked up stuff that I dropped. It was like he was trying to win my heart all over again. This, however, was not the Luke I knew, and not the way he won me in the first place. I had a sinking suspicion what it was though. Around 8 that night Luke was gone and I needed to ask him something about next week's shipment. I didn't know where he was so I figured Leslie would know. I went upstairs and knocked once before opening the door, stopping dead in the doorway as my jaw dropped. Leslie and William, both bare as the day they were born jumped apart as the door swung open in front of me. "Oh shit." William muttered. "Johnny! Wait, um. It's not what you think." Leslie started as they both tried to find clothes while trying to stay covered. "I'll....come back later." I said, voice nicely shocked. I walked out, shutting the door behind me and walked in a daze to the elevator. Well...that was unexpected. That was about the most coherent thought I could muster. I heard the door open and two sets of boots coming down the hall after me. "Johnny wait, please." Leslie called and I stopped, turning around slowly. William didn't say anything as Leslie started babbling and I kept my eye on him as I tried to listen. I caught the last part, "- and I know Luke would flip, I'm sorry you had to find out like that." I frowned, "How long you guys been doing this?" Leslie had the grace to look embarrassed while William looked away for the first time in the whole five minute rant. Ah...when I had left. "Well I guess it sucks I came back huh." I said without thinking. "Johnny no, man I'm sorry you had to find out like this. Look we only waited until you left because we figured that was one less person that would be pissed off, and not to mention with my attention not so...divided it just worked." I knew what he meant. As hypocritical as it may be Luke hated office romances. Wouldn't allow it under any circumstance especially not with a job as dangerous as ours. I looked from Leslie's pleading eyes to William's who were watching Leslie with an emotion that I knew well. It was the same look I had given Luke a long time ago. That look of pure emotion and fear, thinking things were about to go South fast. "Leslie can you excuse us please?" Leslie frowned, wanting to argue. "I'll talk to Luke Les, I promise. Now give us a minute." Leslie nodded, reluctantly, and slowly walked back to his room. "Les..." I called after him and he turned, "You two don't do any runs together anymore. Got it?" I knew why it was dangerous, because you automatically chose the person you cared about before anything else, it was a reason Luke and I had never gone out on a run together, not once. Leslie nodded, leaving me alone with William who planted his feet, crossing his arms like he was getting ready to fight me. "You took a big risk, going against one of Luke's rules, especially with someone he considers his." I stated calmly, watching his face. He didn't flinch. "Yea...I did." He said, his eyes challenging mine. I stepped up until we were real close, though he was taller than me by 4 inches. "Let's get one thing straight William. You hurt my best friend, and it won't be Luke who snaps your neck like a twig. Got it?" His eyes flared at the threat but after a minute of intense eye contact he nodded, stepping back with a look of respect on his face. I nodded to him, stepping in the elevator and he gave me a small smile as he walked back to Leslie's room. As nice and romantic as it was that they could be together and blah blah blah, they weren't the ones that had to talk to Luke. That was a conversation I wasn't looking forward to. One...breaking a big rule. Two...breaking said rule behind his back. Three...doing it with Leslie of all people, who Luke thought of as his own. Oh yea...fun times. Luke still wasn't back when I got back down stairs and I headed to the office to change around a few schedules in light of this new information. I looked up a few minutes later as Luke stepped off the elevator...with a tray of food. From what I could see it was tomato soup and mashed potatoes, and the only person I knew that liked that freaky mixture was me. I needed to nip this in the bud fast, this was not the Luke we all knew and...yea this just wasn't Luke. Luke came in the office with a small smile, putting the food in front of me. "Luke we need to talk." I said, no point being shy about it. He frowned, "Are you not hungry, you want something else?" He started to move the tray and I stopped him with a gentle hand. "What are you doing Luke? This isn't you." His face smoothed out and he looked down. "I don't know what you mean Johnny." Johnny, not Johnny boy. "Luke you don't need to be Daniel." He flinched and I stood up, taking his hand in mine. "I don't need a guy like Daniel, Luke, and acting like him won't get you anywhere any faster." I realized the mistake as soon as I said it, when his eyes flashed up to mine. "Any faster? Which means I'm going somewhere huh?" I closed my eyes on a sigh, dropping his hand and promptly ignoring the question. "I got to talk to you about something, not involving us and you're not going to like it." Luke put on his blank face and sat down behind the desk, propping his elbows up and lacing his fingers. "Well by all means go ahead." His voice was smooth and calm, and scary as shit. "There is an office romance that you need to know about. It's been going on for a while, and....I want you to let it go on. I already changed around schedules so they won't be together, and honestly it's not hurting anyone and it's not affecting their jobs or you would have known because it's been going on since I left." Luke's hands tightened but beyond that he didn't really react. Which meant he was royally pissed off. Then his eyes turned calculating, looking me up and down. I frowned, already not liking what he was going to say. "You want me to let this go on huh? As what...a favor to you?" I sighed, "I guess you couldn't just do it out of the kindness of your heart huh?" He didn't grace that with an answer, "Fine, but I want something from you in return." I ran a hand over my face, "What do you want?" My voice was very cautious. Luke laughed, "Don't sound so excited Johnny boy. I don't know what I want yet, it depends on who these guys are and how important they are to me. If it's just a couple janitors I won't be too hard on ya." He had no idea, I thought wearily. "Well...William for one." I said slowly and he raised a brow, waiting. "William and Leslie." I said, almost wanting to hide behind my hand like a kid. "What!" He yelled, standing up quickly. He stalked towards the door and I threw myself in front of it. "What do you want? Come on Luke I owe you, you know you want to take advantage of that." I couldn't let him upstairs, Leslie was finally happy, for however long and I wouldn't let Luke ruin that. Luke's fists were clenching and unclenching and his eyes were brilliantly blue as he looked down at me. His hands slowly traveled up my arms to cup my neck, his thumbs stroking along the veins. After a minute he leaned down, his lips meeting mine soundly. I had to fight back the moan as I tasted his mouth again for the first time in two years...well for the first time sober anyway. My hands slid up to hold onto his shoulders without me noticing as his tongue danced around with mine, trying to dominate. He pushed me back against the door and I groaned, his mouth greedily eating the sound. His hand ran through my hair, reaching down to wrap around my throat, applying just enough pressure to turn me on and I pulled away from his mouth on a gasp, my eyes flying to his, not even remembering when I had closed them. Luke smiled, the anger replaced with a new kind of tension. He pulled away with a grin, "As for that favor." I gaped at him and he laughed, "You and me are going out Friday. There is a new bar in Fairngton, and I want to show you around." I wanted to fight but the look in his eyes told me not to, "What time should I be here?" His face showed genuine surprise, "Your leaving?" I slowly moved away from him, needing some space, "I don't live here Luke, and even if I wanted to stay the only available place is your bed and that's a no." He glared at me, "Fine. Just....stay here after work on Thursday. Were both grown adults and I promise I won't molest you like some out of control teen." He walked out of the office and I frowned, wondering if I had really hurt his feelings. Since when was he that easy to hurt anyway? Going Home Ch. 05 I had been avoiding my mom since I came back here and I knew I needed to go home and talk to her. No doubt she knew exactly what was going on and I had to face the music eventually. I left the compound after eating the food Luke had brought me....despite the reasons....it was my favorite. I called a cab and got dropped off at the nearby wal mart, needing to buy some clothes now that my stay had gotten extended. I was walking along the back side of the store to go to the garden center side that I was closest to when a voice from the shadows stopped me. "Johnny Havers. Or is it back to being Johnny Hedge now?" I froze, fear coursing through my veins as memories flooded my mind. Michael Warden stepped from the shadows, two of his ever present flunkies falling in behind him. I knew I was in wal mart parking lot, I knew he wasn't threatening me, but in my mind I was back in that room, tied to that chair, with his knife going across my skin. He glanced at my right hand while I fought to get back to the present. "Right hand. Trouble in paradise John?" He was one of the few people I had ever met to call me John. I wished he didn't call me anything, I wished I had never met this man. I focused my mind as my hand, already in my jean pocket tried to nonchalantly flip open my cell phone. Of course I never really did excel at being sneaky. "Don't try it John. I just want to talk. No need to call in the bodyguards." He meant Luke and Leslie, because lord knows they were hardly ever separated, especially when it came to the valuable merchandise, which was generally me. "What do you want Mike?" I said, my voice calm while my mind was still fighting not to scatter. "Heard you were back Johnny. Which means my business is officially threatened again. I don't like being threatened." His voice was smooth steel, just the right amount of threat and calm to really scare a guy. "I'm just in town to save my mom Mike, she's sick but I think you know that. After I pay off my debt to Luke for saving her, I'm gone." The words felt weird coming out of my mouth, like my mind had made up something that I wasn't aware of yet. Mike smiled, "I can offer you a better deal John. I'll pay for your mom's surgery and you won't have to do anything. Just leave town next week and we'll be even." I felt my face slip into that cool mask that I wore almost as well as Luke. Mike's guards noticed to because their hands slowly slipped down to their lower backs, where, like thugs, they carried their guns, literally in the waistband of their jeans. Michael Warden was that old school Mafia guy that you saw on TV, the one that actually had no Italian in him at all, and had the Godfather, Scarface and the Sopranos DVD collection. "Sorry Mike. I appreciate the offer but I'm gonna have to pass." He didn't like that, not at all and I braced myself as he came up to me. His flunkies stayed behind as he walked a slow circle around me. "What's next, you beat me up to 'send a message' to Luke. You know all that will do is piss him off, and it won't change one damn thing." I let my exhaustion color my voice and Mike stopped the shark circle routine. "Take off your shirt Johnny...and I'll let you go unharmed, you can finish your shopping and go home to your nice big bed at mommy's house." I hated this man more than anything in the world. I watched him for a minute before shrugging, it's not like he hadn't seen it when he did it anyway. I pulled my shirt over my head quickly and held my arms out to the side without being asked. Mike resumed the circle, whistling low as he observed his handy work. "Damn Johnny. I really did fuck you up didn't I?" I flinched like he knew I would and slowly put my shirt back on. "You really wanted to know about Luke. You're a very persistent man I have to say." Mike laughed, clapping me on the shoulder as he passed me, making my skin crawl at the touch. "You held out to, not sharing one little dirty secret. I respected the hell out of you for that Johnny, still do. I advise you to take my offer, I hope to hear from you before you have to hear from me." With that....rather cliché threat he and his men left, and I walked into wal mart with my body on autopilot to get the stuff I needed. Later that night I walked in the house, elbowing the bags through the door. I dropped them on the couch with a ump and turned to grab a bottle of water before unloading them all. I stopped dead when I saw my mom and Luke sitting at the table together. That was not the sight I expected to see at all. "Hey Johnny boy. Your momma called me." Luke said, and my mom indicated the chair at her left with a nod. "Have a seat son, I want to talk to you." I swear mom's were the most scariest thing God ever thought of inventing. I approached the table slowly, looking back and forth between the two with caution. "Um...what's doin mom?" I asked as I slid into the seat, scooting as far away from her as I could. She smiled, wrapping her foot around my chair and jerking me closer. "We need to talk about your new job status. You told me you weren't going to do this unless you had to. Which of you is gonna tell me how that changed?" I looked at Luke, who was never good with parents, and I rolled my eyes as he shrugged. Pussy I mouthed and he had to bite his lip not to laugh. Getting serious I looked at my mom, "It's not how it used to be mom. It's strictly paperwork. Luke offered me a deal and I took it. it's nothing dangerous, and it'll get you what you need by like next Monday, or as soon as they have an open spot." She did that thing where she stared at me for a good five minutes straight, making me want to squirm like I was a little kid all over again. Finally she shifted her attention to Luke, who instantly sat up straighter. Oh yea, Luke Havers was soooo afraid of my momma. That thought made me smile. "You hurt my boy Luke, and no matter how powerful you are, or you think you are, I'll come gunnin for you with nothing you have ever seen before. I am not, repeat am not, doing this shit again. Understand?" As she mentioned the past Luke's eyes shot to mine and I looked down. It still wasn't anything I wanted to remember and I quite frankly refused to. "Yes ma'am I understand." Luke said softly and mom did the staring thing again, happy when he didn't back down. "Good...now who wants to play rummy?" Luke and I both groaned as my mom got up to get the cards. My mom cheated at rummy like a pro, and Luke and I had learned to avoid playing cards with her as much as possible. As she started dealing I sighed, "Fine but were playing bullshit next." I grumbled and Luke smiled. "Good luck with that Johnny boy, you can't lie worth shit." That was true, and three hands of rummy and two hands of bullshit later mom had kicked our asses, and I had almost every card in the damn deck while they each had two. Luke won, and mom laughed before heading to bed. It was actually....pretty nice just to be normal for once. I walked Luke out, ignoring him when he tried to linger. "I'll be at work tomorrow, I'll see you then. Thanks for the games, I hate how good you are at that." Luke laughed, "Night Johnny boy, keep trying it's fun to beat you." I went to my room and unpacked my stuff, plopping down heavily on my bed. I glanced over at my nightstand, reaching out to pick up the picture resting there. Luke and I at a party, hands locked, grinning like crazy and his eyes looking at my lips in an unmistakable way. I remembered that night. It was our second month anniversary. It was also the night we had finally had sex. September 16th, 2002 "Wakey Wakey sleeping beauty." I swear I thought I was dreaming as I heard a deep voice whisper in my ear. When Luke's big hands ran down my sides, gripping my hip bones and digging in where he knew I was ticklish my eyes snapped open. "Stop it!" I yelled with a laugh and he grinned, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of my bed. "Ugh Luke, it's way too early what are we doing?" I was a bitch in the morning and by my clock's evil red light it was only 9 am, ridiculously early. I have to say, Luke did look delicious though, and that made my foggy mind wake up a little more, along with something else, way lower. He had on dark blue jeans that fit nicely to his very nice ass, a blue button down shirt that looked close to popping a seam over his big arms, black boots and a grin I couldn't get enough of, one that always seemed to be around when I was. Luke dragged me to my closet, where half of my stuff was missing, safe and sound in his big closet, and starting rummaging through my clothes while I stood like a zombie behind him, leaning against the wall as my body tried to sleep standing up. Not something I mastered at. "Not uh Johnny, stay awake for me here, you got a long day ahead." He smiled as he found what he was looking for. Pulling out my faded blue jeans and a plain green t shirt he handed them to me and I raised a brow, smiling slightly. "You want me to put ON clothes?" I teased and his eyes instantly flared, his white teeth flashing as he bit his lip. Oh yea, major ego boost. I was a cocky little bastard at times. Thrusting the clothes at me he pushed me in the bathroom. I grinned, knowing he thought I had forgotten. My bad memory was infamous already and we had only been together two months. "Oh hey baby?" He looked back as I was about to shut the door, "Happy Anniversary." He smiled, pleasantly surprised though his face betrayed nothing. It didn't have to though, I knew my man. I changed, not realizing the significance of the clothes until I stepped out of the bathroom, and ran my hands over the shirt that smelled very strongly of Luke. More strongly than the rest of my clothes. Ah, this was the shirt that hadn't been washed in two months and only worn once, though cuddled with many lonely nights in the first month we were together when he couldn't be with me. I wore this outfit the first time I had met my dear Mr. Havers. Looking up at him I noted he was wearing the same outfit also. I knew those wonderfully tight jeans were familiar. Luke smiled, taking my hand and pulling me close. I wrapped my arms around him and he picked me up, surprising me and making me jump. He laughed and pulled my legs up, wrapping them around his hips as nuzzled closer into my arms. I had never hugged someone quite like this but it was nice, and I liked it, smiling against his skin as I nuzzled his neck. "I love you Johnny." He whispered and I froze. He pulled back instantly, putting me down. His face shut down and he backed up a step. Oh no you don't, I thought. I stepped close to him, putting a hand on his cheek so he would stop backing up. "Don't you dare say that and then close up on me Luke Havers. I love you more than night and day and I won't let you pull away from me." He smiled like a chesire cat and reached out, running his hand through my hair and cupping my neck, letting his thumb trail the veins there, something he liked doing. "You are way too good to be true." He said softly and I laughed, raising up on tiptoe to kiss him. "Don't you forget it." I whispered against his lips and he laughed, kissing my nose playfully. "Come on we got to go." He said, taking my hand in his and intertwining his fingers with mine. "Go? It's way too early to be alive, let alone active." I complained but I let him pull me outside to his BMW. I frowned when he pulled me to the driver's side. I had been beginning Luke since literally the first night I had met him to drive this beautiful BMW of his and he had not once let me, usually just smiling like I was a cute kid. Today he grinned, dangling the keys in front of my face enticingly. I looked up at him surprised. "Seriously?" I couldn't keep the smile and excitement from my voice. "Yup. Take em fast though before I change my mind." He said laughing. I yanked the keys from his hand and opened the door so fast he had to back up. I slid into the smooth leather interior and sighed wistfully. Luke got in the other side and watched me with a smile as I acted like a kid in a glass shop, trying so hard to treat this very durable car like a piece of glass. I started it and bit my lip as it purred like a kitten. I pulled out ridiculously slow and once I got on the road I drove almost ten miles under the speed limit. After I got past the dirt road, and it was obvious I still wasn't going to speed up Luke laughed loudly, reaching over to push my knee down, pushing my foot harder on the accelerator. I looked at him with wide eyes. "What if I break it? I don't want to hurt your car Luke." I sounded pitiful and he couldn't stop smiling. "You'll be fine Johnny but were going to start going backwards if you don't speed the hell up." I took a deep breath and finally relaxed, speeding up gradually until I was doing 5 over and Luke sighed, shaking his head at me but keeping quiet. That day was amazing. Luke took me to an amazing bistro type thing for breakfast, then we went to one of the biggest water parks in the state, the weather being nice despite it being October. After that we were both sunburned and exhausted and he took me to a nice restaurant in Fairngton for dinner. Looking over the table, across the single white candle that was burning in the center of the table Luke smiled that rare smile, the one that shows his true feelings. I smiled back, squeezing his hand that was in mine. "Present time." He said and I laughed, reaching down into my pocket for his, noticing he did the same thing. I frowned and he frowned as we both put similar boxes in front of each other. Surely we didn't get each other the same thing. I had found a ring at one of the local malls that I had fallen in love with instantly. I knew that two months wasn't even close to enough time for rings but even if he just took it as a friendship ring or promise ring I didn't care, I just wanted him to wear it. It was a thick band, it spun, and it was a nice golden color, not to bright but not dark; it was masculine and utterly perfect for Luke. I had even got Leslie to figure out his ring size, something I didn't even want to know how he did. There is just no way to ask that nonchalantly. "Did you get me the same present I got you?" He asked with a suspicious frown. I frowned back, "Maybe but I'm not 100% positive. Maybe you got me something different." He laughed, pulling the box to him and I did the same. It was like we were counting in our heads because we met each other's eyes briefly before popping open the boxes at the same time. Nestled in the nice blue box was a beautiful silver ring, it was a thin band, plain like a wedding band but more beautiful then I could imagine. It looked amazing and tears pricked my eyes instantly as I saw it. It was small, and not loud, and it was perfect for me. I pulled it out slowly, looking over as Luke took out his. His face had broke and I saw all the intense emotions he was holding in come out. Reaching out he took my right hand in his and took my ring, sliding it on my ring finger, watching with intense eyes as I followed suit. He squeezed my hand tight, drawing my eyes to his, whispering fiercely like he had something to prove, "One day Johnny that ring is going to change hands. I promise you that." I gaped, surprised. That wasn't a proposal....right? He waved the waitress down fast and paid the check without looking at it, slapping down a hundred and, still holding my hand, speeding towards the door. He didn't offer to let me drive, I think he was too much in a hurry. I felt it to, the intense need that he was feeling, I laced my hand with his and I saw that beautiful gold band glinted possessively on his finger and I wanted to prove it, prove I was his and he was mine. I was fighting not to crawl all over him in the damn car. We got to his house in record breaking, scarily fast time and I swear he almost picked me up he wanted in that house so bad. He rushed past the guy at the door, not sparing a glance to the guys in the house, just holding my hand as we flew to his room. He slammed the door shut and looked at me like a predator stalking his prey. I smiled slyly, moving in front of him slowly, acting like I was going to make a break for it. He pounced and I ducked underneath him, rolling on the ground until I was on all fours in front of him. Luke laughed, a big sound that sounded more pure than anything I had heard from him before. He rolled his hips as he moved closer to me and I watched with hooded eyes, my teeth buried deep in my lip. He watched me, watching him and licked his lips slowly, making sure my eyes tracked the movement. All of a sudden he was on me, using the distraction he had purposely made, that he knew he could rely on. His oh so wonderful body and my oh so lacking self control. His hands were everywhere at once like he wanted to feel every inch of me at the same time. My shirt was gone and my belt followed soon after, my pants joining the pile soon after. My boxers were thin, and feeling my practically naked body against his clothed one was a huge turn on. He ground his hips against mine and I groaned, letting out all the pent up sexual energy that had been going on between us for the past two months as I reached up and sank my teeth into his neck, sucking his skin hard. I wanted to mark him, I wanted him to walk around with my mark on his body for days. He apparently was thinking the same way as he dragged his nails deeply down my back. I shuddered against him, gripping his shoulders tightly as my fully hard cock twitched, wanting attention. Luke reached down, pulling off my boxers and tossing them somewhere I didn't track. Being naked, pressed against his clothed body was almost too much for me to handle and Luke pushed my hips down as I started trying to grind against him. "Wait for it Johnny boy, wait for it." I wasn't used to the nickname but I liked it when he said it. He rose up and I scrambled across his carpet, wanting him to chase me, to come after me in the heat of passion. His eyes watched my every move like a hawk and I smiled. His shirt was gone in a flash and I realized buttons were flying, so he had ripped it. I was so intent on his face I hadn't noticed but I did now, with his smooth tan flesh reflecting in the dim light of his room I swear it was all I could see. Watching this man took a whole new meaning to tunnel vision. He slid his jeans down his hips, kicking them forcefully across the room and I bit my lip again, noticing the way his eyes flicked down, his tongue darting between his lips like he wanted to be licking mine. He was naked under his jeans and I nearly came right then and there seeing that hard 8 inch cock, straining and dripping pre cum, wanting me as bad I wanted it. Luke came over slowly and I met him half way, crawling over to him so I stayed face to face with what I wanted so badly. I reached out, wrapping my hand around his base and Luke jerked, having not been laid in a while. I smiled again and leaned forward, letting my tongue dart out quickly and lick the little drop of pre cum leaking, waiting until it was trailing down and following the path up and back down with my tongue. Luke's hands fisted in my hair and I groaned at the little sharp pains. I didn't think I was really into pain, but this was just a night for revelations I suppose. Luke slowly slid his cock into my mouth, letting me take it at my own pace, smiling when I got almost all of it down my throat. He started thrusting slowly at first, speeding up when I started fondling his balls, running a finger along the sensitive skin underneath them before going back up to squeeze each one gently, then a little harder. Soon he was fucking my mouth passionately and he had to stop himself before he came. Going Home Ch. 05 He pulled away from me so fast his cock made a loud pop as it left my mouth. I stayed on the floor, looking up at him panting against one of the poles on his bed, watching me as I pouted like a kid that lost their candy. He laughed shakily and ran a quivering hand through his hair. "Hot damn your amazing." He whispered and I smiled, slinking over to him like a lazy cat that had caught the bird. Very satisfied with myself for making this iron clad man lose control. "I want you baby." I said, my voice low. Luke shuddered, reaching down to pull me up by my hair and crush his mouth to mine. I reached between us as his tongue battled with mine and squeezed his dick playfully. Luke gasped and pulled me back, his eyes bright blue as he pulled me behind him, pushing me on his bed. I smiled, biting my lip as I crawled across his bed on my hands and knees, making sure he watched my ass as I made my way to the center of his bed. I stayed like that, my ass in the air, leaning down so my head rested on his pillow. I had only ever been with Leslie and I really didn't know what Luke liked, but I thought I was doing pretty good so far. I hadn't really seen myself as a teasing kind of guy but man was I enjoying the hell out of making Luke sweat. He walked next to the bed and pulled a little tube of lube with a pop top, which is always more useful than you give it credit for, and a condom out of the drawer. I frowned, "Your clean right?" I asked, my erection deflating a little at the thought of him with other guys. "Of course I am baby I haven't been with very many people and they were all clean." He said softly, watching me. I nodded, "I've only been with Leslie, I'm good." I know my face still showed what I was thinking. His eyes flared and he crawled on the bed, setting the tube beside my knee and cupping my face in his hand. "Do you know that I want to tear apart any man that even looks at you? Leslie is the only exception to any rule because of how much he means to you but I hate the thought that I can't be your first. I hate every man I was with before you Johnny because I really wish I could have come to you first, been your first and had you be mine. But Johnny you have to know, you're the only man I've ever been with that I loved, the only one." I smiled, blushing for no good reason and leaning my forehead against his, "I love Leslie Luke, I really do, but I wasn't in love with him like I am with you. I'll never feel for any other man the way I feel for you. " He ran a fingertip over my bottom lip and leaned down, kissing me softly. I moaned and he moved behind me, popping the top on the lube as he ran his hands slowly down my sides and back, massaging my muscles gently. He must have rubbed the lube on his hands because it wasn't cold as one of his big fingers started to gingerly rub my hole. I moaned, moving my hips back against him and he laughed, "Eager one huh?" He asked but he was just as breathless as I was. His long finger slid easily into my willing body as I made my muscles relax and take him. I hadn't had sex in a long time, but with Luke I felt like a virgin all over again, scared that he wouldn't like it or I wouldn't be up to par for him. He reached around and grasped my cock, moving his slick hand up and down and making me groan, dropping my head once again down into the pillow. "You're so perfect Johnny." He whispered and I swear my heart burst I was so happy. He squeezed a little and I gasped as he entered a second finger at the same time, successfully distracting me from the slight pain. By the time he could get three fingers easily, though still a bit tight, I was panting, and his hand was rocking on my dick in his fist. I starting shaking and he pulled back, making me groan in disappointment. He leaned up, whispering the hottest thing anyone had ever said to me, "I want you to come when I'm inside you Johnny boy, when I can feel all those muscles gripping me tight." Whew was he a test on my self control, I thought. Suddenly his fingers withdrew and I felt them be replaced with something much warmer and bigger. He didn't reach for the condom and I smiled. He pushed against me and I fought not to tense as he put more lube on me and him. He paused. "You sure Johnny? We can stop if you want." I knew it was hard for him to say that with his body so hard and straining and I couldn't believe I had found a man so amazing. "I don't know, you don't move quick I might change my mind." I said with a grin, imitating him earlier. He smiled and slowly pushed his hips forward, making me gasp at the slight pain as his cock strained to get inside me. Finally the head slid past my tight ring and he was slowly pushing inside, making me groan his name as the pain faded fast and a pleasure I had never felt before slowly took its place. Leslie was amazing in bed, he really was, but being with the man your head over heels in love with for the first time, nothing could compare to that. Luke slid as far in as he could and we both shuddered. He slowly pulled back and pushed in, and after a few of those slow thrusts I looked back with a smile. "Come on baby. Make love to me like we both want you to." I said, my voice deeper than I realized. Luke responded to that deep voice though, as he pulled out just as slow and slammed back in making me gasp. After that he slowly lost control, going faster and harder, changing the pace, moving my hips around to go deeper and I loved every second. I was panting his name, trying to push back to meet his thrusts, pleasure coursing through my veins like I had never known. He starting jacking me off again and I clenched the sheets in my hands. "Luke, baby I'm gonna come if you keep doing that. Oh, Oh shit do that again." He hit my prostate again and I jerked in his hand. He leaned down and bit down on my shoulder hard and like pressing a button my body shuddered and I screamed his name as I came , his hand still going and my cum shooting out all over his sheets. Luke thrust deep one last time and came with me, moaning my name against my skin as he held on tight, his body shaking against mine. When we calmed down I realized how sweaty we were and I laughed, snuggling up to him after he rolled off of me to the side. "We totally ruined these sheets." I said softly, my eyes already drooping clothes. He laughed, tired but happy, "Don't worry Johnny boy, I have a feeling were going to be ruining a lot more." He wrapped his arm tight around me and I locked mine securely around his waist. I watched his beautiful eyes close and smiled. Going Home Ch. 06 Sorry it took so long, and i know youll hate me for the ending to this but believe me when i say the next chapter is worth it! Thanks :D Present day I need a hobby. That was my first thought when I woke up with a raging hard on and Luke's face stuck in my overzealous mind. I got up, rubbing a hand down my face and shaking my head to clear it. I hated how early I had to get up to get to Luke's compound. Maybe I could take William's old room since he wasn't really occupying it anymore. Ugh but that would mean I would have to live on the floor above Luke's with all the guys and that was just not appealing...and not because Luke would be so far away. Nope that wasn't it. I drove to his compound slower than I had ever drove, I was so tired it was unbelievable. I got there ten minutes late and just glared at the guy at the desk...what was his name? Jack....John....James....Frank? Something like that. I walked to the elevator and stared longingly at Luke's door with his big comfy bed that was so much nicer that mine a minute while waiting for it to come up. I stepped on the elevator and noted with a groggy mind he really had changed the setting to say Hedge now. I hadn't even noticed that before. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the cool metal. "Johnny? Johnny boy....wake up sleeping beauty." I thought I was dreaming as I heard Luke's voice beside me. Then he shook me and I opened my eyes. Nope not dreaming. He was standing in the elevator with me, shaking me awake while a couple of guys peered curiously over his shoulder. I stared at him, not even really there. He looked really beautiful, I thought lethargically, my mind swearing his blue eyes were brighter than normal. Luke shut the doors to the elevator and I frowned at him, but didn't say anything. I hated mornings. They were the worst thing ever invented. Ever. Luke put an arm around my shoulders and I dropped my head to his chest, not caring anymore. He chuckled and when the doors opened again he smoothly swept my feet up and carried me to his room. Luke put me on his oh so wonderful bed and I smiled for the first time all morning. Mmmm did I love this bed. Luke smiled and turned to walk away and I grabbed his hand, turning him around. "Thanks." I said, my voice ridiculously deep with sleep. Luke's eyes visibly darkened and my teeth automatically bit my lower lip, releasing it slowly. Luke's eyes tracked the movement a second before he actually shook his head. "No prob Johnny boy, I'll wake you up when I think you won't be a living zombie." I smiled when I wanted to laugh and just nodded. He walked towards the door, turning just as I was slipping off. "Oh hey Johnny....why did it take you so long to get to your house last night?" I answered before my mind thought it through, "Mike Warden caught me in the parking lot. No big." Luke turned to me fully now, "What!" he yelled and I flinched, groaning as I made myself open my eyes. "Luke, it was no big, he tried to offer me a deal to get out of town so his business wasn't threatened. Don't make it more than it was." Luke looked way to suspicious, "He didn't hurt you? Do not lie to me Johnny." Uh oh, real name, my mind thought in a ridiculous sing song type voice. Man I needed more sleep, I was loopy. "Nope. Checked out my scars, told me don't make him find me or some crap, and left me be. It's not something to get worked up over and I want you to give me your word you won't do anything Luke...I mean it." Luke just looked at me for a minute before sighing, "I give you my word until you are fully awake and we can talk I won't do anything. Ok?" Eh, it was good enough for me. I nodded and snuggled deep into his covers. I frowned...my mind wanted something I couldn't quite identify, but it didn't want to sleep without it. Oh right, Luke's shirt. Well....deal with it, I thought sarcastically. Luke walked over to me with a frown, "You ok Johnny?" My eyes dropped to his shirt, a black muscle shirt that hugged his body so well, before looking back at him and sighing. "Yup." I said, closing my eyes and nuzzling his pillow, telling my mind it was good enough. I heard a drawer open and some rustling and I looked up as Luke as pulling a green t shirt over his head, covering up his smooth chest one second to late, letting me have a nice eye full. He handed me the black one and I didn't say anything, just took it and snuggled it close. He left with a smile on my face and I fell asleep with a similar one on mine. Later that day I woke up to the alarm in the compound going off. I looked up as the door opened and closed and I frowned at Luke as he came over to me. "Stay put Johnny ok? Mike is here and he's causing trouble. Stay. Here." He ran out the door after that rather cryptic statement and I shook my head. Yea right like I was gonna stay here. I got up and followed him, smiling at him as he turned around and glared at me. Shaking his head he backtracked a few steps and grabbed my hand, dragging me down the stairs with him. The whole compound was at the door, guns, knives....other things drawn, waiting. Luke put me behind Leslie and William, not glancing at them though his face visibly tightened at how close they were standing. I heard something blow up outside and could only pray it wasn't Luke's new BMW. I hadn't even been in that car and I loved it. Abruptly it got very quiet, and you could hear the men shifting around nervously. Suddenly there was a very soft knock on the door, totally at contrast with all the noise outside. Luke nodded at a man named Roger, who opened the door slowly. "Luke. You didn't have to get everyone up for little ole me." Mike's voice was as smooth as a knife and just as sharp. He stepped into the compound, four men stepping in behind him, shutting the door. He looked at my hand in Luke's and smiled sadly. "Oh John, I really thought you'd be smart enough not to go back down this road, I really did. You disappoint me son." Luke stepped in front of me and I glared at him, "You don't talk to him Mike, don't even fucking look at him after what you did to him." I tensed thinking about that day, the day I left. It seemed like it was just yesterday and it was still so vivid in my mind. "I'm here to warn you personally Luke, I know he's back and I know what that means. You fuck with my business and I'll make sure that next time you see John will be when you identify his body. Got it?" Guns came up, pointing very soundly at Mike's head. His guards didn't move, didn't flinch. This wasn't supposed to be a fight, not yet. This was the warning...later would be the fight. Luke was literally vibrating with anger and I squeezed his hand tightly. There was no need for bloodshed right now, and I really didn't want to see it happen. It was just a turf war, and we had rustled Mike's delicate little feathers. Giving in and fighting is exactly what he wanted, but we weren't some lowly operation, we were organized and we were better than him. Luke got what I was trying to say because his body visibly calmed down, "Alrighty then Mike it was nice to see ya. I'm sure you know your way out." He did the stupidest yet bravest thing of all and turned his back on his enemy, knowing his boys had his back if need be. He pulled me next to him and together we walked up the stairs, unhurriedly and made our way back to his room. He waited until we had got inside and the door was shut to wrap his arms around me and pull me tight to his chest. He laid his head on top of mine and held me close. "Oh God Johnny. I don't know what I would do if I lost you. At least when you left I knew you might come back, that you were still out there somewhere. I can't imagine a world without you in it." I smiled against his chest and held him tight. He was scared and I knew it, but I wasn't go to say anything to mushy; he had a sensitive ego. After a while he let me go and started pacing the room. I sat down on the bed with a sigh. Luke had a over analyzing mind, he thought about everything to much and made the smallest of things seem like Armageddon. After a minute he stopped and stared at me. "I think you need to move back in here. I'm not say it because I want you back personally, but it's better for your safety and it won't give Mike any reason to go to your mom's house to find you so it will keep her safe and you also won't be falling asleep at the wheel anymore because you can sleep later." Funny how I was thinking the same thing this morning but I didn't let him know that. I just stared at him for a minute before frowning. "Where exactly do you want me to sleep while I'm 'living' here Luke? With you? We both know that won't work out the way we want it to. Well the way I want it to." He frowned, running a hand over his suddenly tired face. "I'll sleep in my office. I can't put you upstairs with the other guys Johnny, they are slobs, loud, violent, just about everything you hate being around most of the time. The only other room is mine." I closed my eyes for a second before sighing, "I'll put my clothes here but I'll sleep on one of the couches in the living room. I don't want you sleeping on that horribly uncomfortable loveseat thing in your office." Luke didn't look happy but he didn't blow up about it like he would have before. "How about I sleep downstairs and you can sleep here and I will just come up to grab clothes and stuff. I promise I won't molest you in your sleep." I shook my head and Luke's eyes skirted around the room as his fists clenched. He was trying so hard not to get mad and to trying to be reasonable when he really just wanted to tell me what to do and tell me to deal with it. "Fine Luke, whatever. You'll change your mind after a few nights on the couch though, we both know your way to tall to sleep comfortably on anything down there. Your bed is special made because nothing was long enough for you, I feel like I'm swimming in blankets every time I sleep in it I swear some days I get lost like I'm trying to find my way out of Narnia." He laughed and walked over to me, leaning down to rest his forehead on mine gently. "Thank you for not arguing about living here." I smiled, and leaned up to press a small kiss to his forehead, "I'm really really not good with mornings." Later that day I was down at the compound, working on schedules and setting up a drop off when Luke came out of the elevator, a short red haired man following behind him. He was about the same height as I was, which was short compared to Luke and he was pale, with a fine layer of freckles across his face. He was staring at Luke like he was a steak to a starving man and I frowned as Luke walked him over to me. "Johnny, this is Joe, he's a new runner. Would you mind getting him set up with the other guys, find someone that will go easy on him to show him the ropes?" Johnny, not Johnny boy. Curious. I nodded and Luke slapped the guy on the shoulder before walking away. The kid watched Luke as he walked away, waiting until he was literally not visible anymore to look at me for the first time. He smiled and held out a pale hand. "Hey it's nice to meet you." He had a remarkably deep voice for someone his size and I was surprised. I shook his hand, my body brimming with jealously that I had no right feeling as his eyes searched out the compound no doubt looking for a certain handsome giant wondering around somewhere. I bit the inside of my lip hard and got up to show him around. After we had done a quick tour of the compound I took him over to where the runners usually hung out, looking around the room where they were sitting, milling around, playing cards or video games on the big flat screens, waiting for the day to get started. Some days were slower than others just like any other business. "Alright, before I get you set up, do you have any questions?" Some of the guys looked up, including William and Leslie who were playing rummy at a table near us. The guy ...I mean Joe...honestly looked scared to death and I couldn't help but cough to cover up my laugh. "Um no. Well except one." He looked down and back up, his face turning red like we were sharing some big secret. "Is Luke single? I know he's technically my boss but I couldn't help notice him. Do you think I might have a chance with him?" Leslie tensed and William stood slowly, ready to defend me if I needed it. I gave him a look and he backed off but his eyes were locked on Joe with deadly intent. "You know you might just want to ask him Joe. As for if you have a chance..." No way in hell, go near him and I'll beat your head into the ground, "Luke is an eccentric guy, you never know." The guy nodded with a small hopeful smile that I wanted to slap off his skinny face. What was wrong with me! Luke wasn't mine who the hell was I to be jealous? William and Leslie walked up then, "Hey Johnny boy, new recruit?" I frowned a second before nodding, "Yea, this is Joe. Joe this is Leslie, Luke's second in command basically, and William, one of our top runners. I was just going to find someone to show Joe the ropes." William smiled a nasty smile that Joe was completely oblivious to as Leslie wrapped a thick arm around his skinny shoulders. "We got him Johnny. Don't worry about it, we'll show and tell him everything he needs to know." Leslie winked at me as he led the kid away and William clapped me on the shoulder before following him. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy as I walked away, and hoped they wouldn't go to hard on him. A little while later Luke stormed up to me, face red with anger. "What the hell happened to Joe Johnny? I frowned, "I'm not sure what you mean but you can drop the tone dude I didn't do anything." Luke didn't let up in the slightest, "The kid is scared shitless and told me that 'he just doesn't think this is the job for him', he is sitting in my office shaking like a leaf! Who did you put him with!" I bit my lip to keep from smiling and shrugged, "You know Luke, I don't really remember. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as he is making it out to be." Luke got in my face then, real close, "What the hell is the matter with you Johnny, you trying to fuck up my business now, you working for Mike now?" I pushed him away from me roughly, "Why don't you just go back in there, look him deep in the eyes, maybe pop open a button or two and I promise that kid will be your puppy dog in two seconds flat. I'm sure you can find SOME way to make him think of staying." I shoved my clipboard into his chest as I went to walk by him, "By the way three of your shipments got fucked up and two guys called in sick, but don't worry I fucking handled it like I always do and it's all good now. But I'll make sure I tell Mike hi as I fuck up your business." Luke caught the clipboard before it fell and turned as I walked away. He watched me go to the elevator and let out a small yell of frustration before fling the clipboard across the room, where it smacked into the wall, and storming back to his office. I left early that day, going home to pack up what little stuff I had, that I just unpacked, and told my mom what was going on. She hated it, literally was red faced at the thought of someone threatening me and I had to calm her down for an hour before she let me out the door. I really didn't want to go back to Luke's compound but I did, parking next to a black scorch mark, all that was left of my favorite motorcycle that Mike had blown up this morning. I was surprised the spot was still there, usually Luke freaked about stuff like that. I shrugged and went into the house. It was around five and I had no idea what I wanted to do. I really didn't want to go back to work but I couldn't just sit around all day. I glanced at the huge 72" flat screen in the living room and smiled. After setting up the couches the way I wanted them I dropped my bag off in Luke's room and ran to the elevator, excited. I went straight to Luke's office, ignoring him as he opened his mouth to talk to me and grabbed the loud speaker mic off his desk. "Attention all K mart shoppers, this is your captain speaking." It was something I always said because though it made no sense it made everyone laugh. The guys I could see stopped moving to listen, "Starting at 7 pm we will be have a monster movie marathon, I repeat a monster movie marathon, in the living room. If you have your own movies you want to watch grab them and throw them in the pile in front of the TV and depending on how late you stay up we might get to them. That will be all." I grinned at Luke as he frowned and darted back to the elevators, noticing some of the guys smiling. This was a big thing for me, I did it just about once a month when I was here, and I always had beer and drinks, food being grilled outside, candy and snacks everywhere, it was like a college frat party with a bunch of ex cons. It was actually pretty cool as long as no one started arguing about who was better Freddie or Jason, because that just got plain violent. By 7 I had food ready and beer cold as the guys started filing in, plopping down heavily on the dozen or so couches, set up in rows in front of the TV. We started with Godzilla, always a classic. I was sitting on one of the couches off to the side and was enjoying the movie when Luke sat down heavily next to me. "I'm sorry for what I said Johnny." He said and someone shushed him before they realized who it was. Needless to say they didn't do it again. Luke looked back at me and I shrugged, ignoring him, eyes intent on the TV. "Johnny look at me. You know I will piss everyone off and pause that damn movie if you don't look at me." I growled in the back of my throat but I rolled my eyes sideways to look at him. "I'm sorry okay?" I nodded, "You will always choose your business over me Luke, it comes first and everyone is out to get you, believe me I know. It's no big forget it." He flinched like I knew he would and turned my whole head to look at him, " Johnny we need to talk about what happened the night you left." I gently pushed his hand away, "You made a choice Luke, that's all that happened." His face tightened, "Johnny I didn't mean what I said to you, I was stupid and angry and I was mad at you because you got caught and because of me you got hurt, even though I knew it wasn't your fault it was mine. I didn't mean what I said. I went to find you afterwards but you were already gone." I just stared at him, noticing as the screen went black and the guys applauded. I didn't respond to what he said because I didn't want to. "I have to change the movie." I got up before he could answer and walked over to the huge stack of movies sitting up against the wall. "Alright guys, Jaws or Anaconda?" I looked over at Luke as he watched me with hurt eyes. Jaws won out, though we had to argue whether we wanted the classic version or the newer one. Naturally old school graphics won out and I laughed as I popped it in the DVD player. I was having vivid flashbacks in my head of what happened that night and it was really hard to concentrate. I walked over to Leslie and knelt down, "Will you handle the next couple movies for me man, I need to lay down I'm not feeling good." Leslie nodded, a worried frown on his face but he didn't ask. I walked past Luke's equally worried face and up the stairs, trying to clear my mind and failing. As soon as I plopped down on Luke's bed and closed my eyes it was like a film I couldn't turn off and suddenly I was back in 2008, just barely 22, head over heels in love with Luke, and doing a run I had never wanted to do. I could still remember Mike's face the first time I really saw him, when he came out of the warehouse we were dropping our stuff off at. Going Home Ch. 06 His first words to me chilled me to this day, "Johnny Havers I presume? Me and you need to talk." Going Home Ch. 07 Alright guys this is probably going to leave you with more questions than answers and its not a typical chapter, just a view of what happened with Mike and exactly how Johnny and Luke broke up.Its not as intense as your used to because i didn't really want to start the ending chapter which i originally did with this one, so i made it one by itself. Know that the next chapter is the last, it will be longer than all the others, and yes there will be very good sex :D Thanks for being patience, i know its not as good but i hope you still give it good votes anyway, it always makes my day!! I frowned in confusion at the man that walked out of the warehouse. The men around me tensed and I knew this wasn't a friend. Dressed in a dark suit of all things, with a big gold ring on his pinkie and two big thugs behind him he wasn't really intimidating...just looked a little out of place. "Do I know you?" I asked calmly, as two of Luke's guys walked up behind me. The short man walked closer, his guards staying still. The man was short, short brown hair, dark eyes, dark skin, he was about as tall as me, but I could tell there were muscles under that perfectly tailored suit. I didn't move as he came within touching distance. "Michael Warden. I'm an....acquaintance of Luke Havers, who you very obviously know." He had a fake Italian accent and I almost smiled at the absurdity of it. I held it back though. "Luke doesn't have acquaintances, he has people he trusts, and people he doesn't. I'm going to guess which category you're in." I spoke with a confidence I didn't really feel. I wasn't good at being a runner that much was for damn sure. The man tensed, "Watch your tongue kid, you're like what 18? I got a lot of years on you." I rolled my eyes deliberately, "22 old man, keep up." His guards were very suddenly not in front of me anymore. I was so intent on watching the man in front of me I didn't notice them slip from view. My guys obviously didn't either. I heard two thuds and looked back as my trusty sidekicks fell to the ground. Michael Warden smiled a nasty smile as his guards grabbed my arms. "Now, let's see if we can make that smart ass mouth of yours tell me what I want to know." He punched me hard in the face and that was all she wrote. I woke up who knows how long later, tied to a wooden chair like something straight out of a movie. A single light bulb was glaring above me and I rolled my eyes at the cheesy cliché. I heard a laugh and strained my eyes to look into the darkness beyond where the light illuminated. "You really are a smart ass little shit aren't you kid. You're not afraid even as you sit, about to get tortured, without your trusty boyfriend...or boyfriends I should say to protect you." I took a deep breath and let out an exaggerated sigh, "Are we really going to do this? Idle chit chat where you try to intimidate me, then get mad when I don't get scared? How about we just skip to the part where you do a very long monologue of why I'm here." I didn't hear anything for a while and I wasn't sure if what I had said was the dumbest or smartest thing to say. Suddenly I heard a sharp laugh. "You know kid I kind of like you. Pity your on the wrong side." He came into my line of sight and knelt down to where we were eye level though it didn't take much. "You tell me where Luke keeps his shit, and I let you go unharmed. I know where he lives in his fancy mansion, keeping all his faggot lackeys close to him. Where. Is. The. Merchandise? There is no way he could fit it in there, believe me I've looked." That was news to me as I'm sure it was news to Luke, but I smiled, "I'm just the boyfriend, what makes you think I know anything like that. Surely you have met Luke before, do you really think he would be stupid enough to trust me with that?" I kind of wished what I was saying was true in that moment because I was literally scared shitless. If dating Luke taught me anything though it was never to show your enemy your scared, it's just another tool they can use against you. He also said if they take you somewhere it's only to kill you slower, and here I was in a random room tied to a chair....but I tried not to dwell on that part. Michael laughed, standing up. "You know John, I thought the same thing. Until I saw you tonight. I watched you for a quite a while before actually making myself known. You handled the merchandise, the runners, everything with the kind of grace that most normal runners...or just boyfriends don't have. You know more than your letting on and your attitude shows it. Now don't make me mar that nice body of yours kid." I looked down when I realized I didn't have a shirt on and mentally laughed at myself for not noticing. I guess I'm a little bit of an idiot when it comes to being kidnapped. I was done talking. I set my jaw and stared Michael in the eyes. He smiled, nodding his head very slightly and I didn't see the man in the shadow, just noticed when Michael suddenly had a knife in his hand. I forced myself to keep my eyes open as he came towards me, picturing Luke's face before my mind shut down and all that was left was to feel. I don't remember what happened in the day I spent in Michael Warden's wonderful care. After the first few cuts I blacked out. I knew he kept waking me back up but I don't remember what he said, or what I didn't say. All I know is he was beyond pissed when he threw me in his car the next night. "Stupid fucking kid. Your loyalty just earned you scars you will never be rid of and enemies you really didn't need to make. Was it worth it smart ass? Huh? I sure fucking hope so." My mind wouldn't really comprehend the pattern of the words he was saying. If it had I would have noticed when he said never be rid of....an indication I was going to survive long enough to want to be rid of them. I blacked out again, not knowing where we were going or how long we drove. When I woke up next the sun was shining down on my face as Mike's two guards threw me out of the car and onto the concrete before driving away. I looked around and saw Luke's beautiful BMW, almost crying with relief. I could hardly move, I was so weak with blood loss my head refused to focus but I knew instinctively I had to get to Luke. I have no idea how long it actually took but it felt like days as I dug my nails into the concrete and dragged myself to the front door. Music was blaring, vibrating the house and It took me four tries to actually reach the doorknob, two more to actually turn it. The door cracked and I dragged my body into that crack. There was no one at the stand in front of the door and I tried to yell but I couldn't. Luke and what looked like almost the entire compound were sitting in the living room in a tight circle, discussing what I could only assume was me. I had to get to him. In my mind he was all that mattered. I drug myself across the floor, my chest slick with blood and not making a sound. I got so close to the couches when my arms gave out. I saw Luke's beautiful face, frowning in concentration and tried to smile, his voice, his touch, the last thoughts in my mind. "Luke," I whispered as my vision started fading again. His head snapped up like he had been slapped, his eyes instantly falling on my broken body, bleeding out on his floor. "Johnny!" He screamed, running to me. He knelt down in my blood and drug me into his arms. "Get my car damn it!" He screamed, his eyes never leaving mine. I have no clue what was going on around me but I assumed it was chaotic. "Johnny. Baby, please don't let go. Hold on for me Johnny, please please baby boy please!." He never called me baby boy...it was kind of sweet, I liked it. I smiled a silly smile, or I think I did and leaned my head against Luke's solid chest. It felt so good to be held. So good. My vision started fading, and for some reason I couldn't force my eyes to open. Luke was screaming at me but I just wanted to go to sleep. He was next to me, I was so numb, and I just wanted to sleep. I passed out to the sound of Luke crying, his chest shaking against my head. He never cried. How odd. "Johnny boy wake up. Come on baby." I heard Luke's voice, which to me was amazing because I never thought I was going to again. I peeled open my eyes, which proved to be harder than I thought and there he was, my big rock sitting by my side. "What happened Luke?" I saw I was in the hospital but I had no idea why. Luke frowned, a pained expression on his face. "You don't remember. They said you might not." I blinked up at him blankly, "Remember......?" He sighed heavily, "I failed you Johnny. I didn't protect you like I always said I would. I failed, and you got hurt, and now you're here." I tried to reach out an arm to touch his face but as soon as I got it fully extended I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Frowning I looked down, and saw my entire chest wrapped in gauze, all the way down to my hips. I started hyperventilating, "Luke, Luke what happened. Luke tell me what happened what's wrong with me." Luke backed away, his face broken, as a nurse came running in. "Sir, you need to calm down, sir please calm down." She injected something into an IV in my hand and I slowly started to calm down, my body getting heavier and Luke's guilty face fading from my view. Next time I woke up it was two days later and I remembered what happened. I don't know what changed ,maybe hearing Luke blame himself, I'm not really sure but the memory was fresh in my mind when I opened my eyes. Luke was passed out in a chair near me, and from the dark sky outside I guessed it was pretty late. Leslie wasn't asleep though, no he was pacing in front of the door like a guard missing his big rifle. "Leslie." I whispered and his eyes snapped at me. With a hesitant look towards the door he made his way over to the bed. "Um....hey man." He sounded nervous, which probably meant that Luke told him if I woke up not to tell me because he probably wanted to. "I remember Les, you don't have to worry about not telling me." His body relaxed and I smiled. He gave me a hesitant smile back before leaning forward and running his fingers down my face. "I was so scared Johnny. When the guys came back and told us I thought Luke was going to kill them right then and there. You should have never been there Johnny, you really shouldn't have." I glanced at Luke, "How is he doing with it?" Leslie couldn't suppress a grimace, "He's mad. He's mad at everyone. Mainly himself." There was a way he said that I really didn't like, "He's mad at EVERYONE?" Leslie looked down, "Not the time or place or Johnny." I frowned, "He's mad at me? Are you freaking serious?" Leslie looked at Luke with a worried expression, "Johnny he's hurt and he's lashing out he knows it wasn't your fault but he's not in his right mind right now, please don't hold it against him." I shook my head in annoyance, "Whatever Leslie. I'm sorry you worried okay? I'm okay. Little fucked up but overall okay....if you look it in the big picture...with your head sideways.....and squinting one eye." Leslie laughed which is what I wanted and I squeezed his hand reassuringly. He went back to guarding the door and I just looked at Luke for a long long time. I got released two days later, with lots of instructions to Luke and lots of pain pills. No one talked on the way home and I was grateful for it. I really didn't know what to say knowing the thoughts in Luke's mind and no one in the car dared say anything to poke the sleeping tiger. We got back to the house and Luke helped me inside, fighting and losing the argument to carry me. Didn't want to tear my stitches you know. We got up to the bedroom and he got my settled in to bed, kissing my forehead. His face was closed and I frowned. "Lay with me Luke." I said softly. His eyes flashed to mine before he stiffly nodded, climbing in on the other side of me and laying on his back, an arm behind his head....two feet away from me. "Okay what the fuck is this?" I snarled, trying to sit up. Luke pushed me back down, sitting up to look at me sternly. "You need to lay down Johnny. I don't want your stitches ripping anymore than you do." I rolled my eyes, "You and I know both know I used that so you wouldn't carry me. What is going on Luke? Why won't you talk to me?" His eyes looked away from mine, the warmth that was fleetingly there fading. He got off the bed and started pacing in front of the bed. A very annoying habit of his. "Luke!" I yelled after about 3 minutes. He stopped and stared down at me, "Did you tell him anything Johnny?" My jaw fell open of it's own accord and I just looked at him dumbly for a minute. "Did you seriously just ask me that?" His expression didn't change, "I need to know, and I have a right to know, so I can make arrangements if you did." "Get out. Get the fuck out!" I screamed and he actually looked surprised. "Look, Johnny, you're a kid okay? You fucked up, you got caught, you went through hell, I don't expect to hear that you told him nothing. Just tell me what you DID tell him so we can move on with our lives." "I fucked up? How the fucking hell did I fuck up? I went where I was supposed to go, to do the job I was supposed to do. How was I supposed to know he was there? Your trained, GROWN men, didn't even know they were there until they got knocked the fuck unconscious! How was I suppose to do better then them!" I was screaming now. He ran a hand through his hair before looking back at me, "I don't know Johnny! I don't know.....you just were!!" I couldn't believe it. I felt my heart breaking in my chest as my eyes grew cold. " I didn't tell him anything Luke. He tortured me, he cut up my chest and when there was no more room big enough he cut up my back. He tortured me verbally and physically for god knows how long. I didn't tell him anything. Are you happy now?" He stared at me, eyes searching my face like he thought I was lying. "You think I'm lying to you? You really think I'm lying to you? What the hell is wrong with you Luke! I thought you loved me!" His spine straightened and he looked away. He walked to the door, without another glance and threw it open. He looked back at me with cold eyes, "You shouldn't have got caught Johnny." He left and my pride deflated, my body slumping back against the pillows. It probably hurt but I didn't feel it. I didn't feel anything. I was numb inside and out, just like I was when I crawled, dragged myself across the floor, trying to get to Luke. Then he didn't believe me. He blamed me. I couldn't breathe, there was so much pain going through me. I laid in bed for hours, noting that no one, even Leslie came and saw me. Luke's orders more than likely. He made me the black sheep, the one no one was allowed to talk to. Whether it was for my own well being or because I "got caught" I wasn't really sure. I was done. I was completely done. It broke my heart even more, but I couldn't live like this. I couldn't put my life in danger for a man that wouldn't even believe that I loved him enough to NOT rat him out. Luke cared about his business so much more than he cared about me. He came in later that night when I was getting up, packing my clothes up. "What are you doing Johnny, get back in bed." His voice was flat. I closed my eyes to not let a fresh wave of tears come. "I'm leaving Luke, I'm going home." Luke grabbed my suitcase of my hand and tossed it across the room, standing in front of mine, trying to intimidate me as he stared down at me. "This is your home Johnny, or are you not loyal to it anymore?" My eyes flashed up to his, "what the fuck is that supposed to mean? I'm not loyal to you? Is that it? What you think we were eating bon bons and I was like oh hey to make it more real so he doesn't know I willingly shared all his secrets how about your cut my body apart!" He didn't react to my anger, just looked down at me. "Those weren't my exact words, no." I gaped at him. My resolve solidified right then. "Me or the business Luke. Choose, right now. I can't live like this, my life in danger for a man that doesn't even believe me when I tell him I love him enough to not break. I can't. If you want to be with me, you need to choose. Me, or the business." His face broke for a second, showing me exactly how hurt he was by my words. It was gone in a fleeting second though. "Don't give me ultimatums Johnny, you won't like the results." I didn't back down, "I need an answer Luke." He stared at me for a second, trying to get me to break. When it was clear I wasn't going to he sighed and his face hardened once again. "You know what the answer is Johnny boy." My skin crawled, "You choose the business." He didn't nod, didn't shake his head, just stared at me, " I always will." I let out a breath that ended on a cry. I covered my mouth and grabbed my suitcase from where he threw it, moving very slowly. "You know I won't let you leave Johnny. I don't even know why you're trying to act like I will." Hurt was replaced by fear as I heard the tone in his voice. He really wouldn't let me leave, he would honestly hold me hostage...or kill me. I took a deep breath and did the only thing I really could. I lied. "I'm going to mom's Luke. She is freaking out worried about me and you know how she is." I didn't turn to look at him and he didn't try to make me. He just stood behind me, drilling holes into the back of my head with his gaze. After a very tense minute or two he finally answered a question I hadn't asked. "Fine. Go home to your mom. I'll expect you back here though, as soon as your able." To work...as soon as I was able to work. Just like that our relationship, our marriage that wasn't official...it was over. "Got it boss." I said, my voice as flat as his. He walked past me out the door without looking back. I think on some levels he knew I was really leaving. He wouldn't admit it though, because that would mean admitting he knew that everyone didn't fall to his command, and lord knew his ego wouldn't allow that kind of revelation. To give credit, I did go home. My mom freaked when she saw me, and when I explained that I was leaving she more than understood, she helped me pack my bags. She told me not to come back, not for a while. One son was already risking his life there was no need to make it two. That night I drove out of town. I watched the city limits sign past and felt nothing. I had my stuff, plenty of bandages and a lot of money. I wasn't a whore, but I worked my ass off in that place and Luke did pay me. Granted the pay was probably more than everyone else's because of our relationship but when I tried to put a stop to that the argument didn't last long. The lights were fading in my rear view mirror when a car swerved in front of me, cutting me off. I was scared shitless Luke had somehow found out, but it was not him that came out of the old school Mercedes in front of me. It was the man of my newly found nightmares. Mike walked up to my window, smiling when I didn't move to roll it down. "Come on now Johnny, I just want to talk." he said through the glass. I locked the door and stared at him, "Yea where have I heard that before?" My voice was a lot more sure and calm than anything else going on in my head. "I just wanted to make sure my suspicions were correct, you know protecting my assets and all. Your leavin town right?" I didn't say anything, just looked down and back up into his eyes. It was enough. "Does honey bunny know?" That one I left unanswered as well. "I know I'm not your most favorite person in the world right now Johnny-" no...really? "- but I want you to know your secret is safe with me. I don't care where you go, but do yourself and all of us a solid. Don't come back. Alright?" Going Home Ch. 07 I looked into his eyes, the ones that haunted my dreams for days and felt something for the first time in hours. Cold and irrational fear. I hated this man. He scared me like nothing ever had. I nodded after a minute and he smiled that I'm harmless smile. "It was nice to meet you Johnny Hav...Hedge. Sorry I won't see ya around." Hearing my last name again after all this time calling myself Luke's husband was weird but I didn't correct him. It was true now. I watched him as he got into the back seat of the car and it sped away back in the direction of Jameson. I shifted into gear and left, this time not watching to see if the red lights of his car disappeared like the town's did. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't really care. As long as I never saw Luke Havers or Mike Warden, it was a good place. Going Home Ch. 08 Okay due to some amazing fans i decided this isn't the very last chapter. Just getting out what i wanted to for the first half of the last chapter was almost 20 pages so i figured i can break it up. So look forward to what will hopefully be the last chapter if i can get my mind to stop writing! Thanks for being so patient! BTW, there is sex :D I opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling. Someone was knocking very softly on the door. I didn't move to open it. This room was my form of a blessing and a curse, I thought absently. So much good happened here, blanketed by so much bad. It was really hard to balance it all out when I thought about it. The knocking became slightly louder. "What Luke?" I called out, not getting out of bed. Luke opened the door very softly and poked his head inside. His eyes had to adjust to the dark room before he finally saw me. "Can I come in Johnny?" I didn't say yes... which to Luke meant I didn't say no. After a minute he walked in the room and shut the door behind him. He was smart enough to know not to turn on the light; I really didn't need that. I didn't need to see him. He stood by the door for two very long and awkward minutes before I finally shifted my eyes to him. I sighed wearily, "You can move Luke, I'm not a deer. You don't have to be afraid that you'll scare me away. I'm way passed that stage." He didn't respond to the barb which was surprising, he just stepped away from the door and walked over to the bed. I was in the center and when it was obvious that I wasn't going to move he plopped down next to me. He laid back, his body a little over the edge and stared at the ceiling with me. After a few minutes I turned my head and looked at him. He was already looking at me. "What do you want Luke?" I asked voice quiet. He reached out a hand and ran his fingertips down my cheek. "I want to say sorry Johnny. I was wrong. I was so very, very wrong. I should have never said what I said to you, never thought the things I did. I almost lost you and I knew it was my fault. I should have never let you go that night and I knew it at the time. Then when you got hurt, when you got caught... I wanted to ask you about it, I wanted to know what he did to you, but at the same time I didn't. I wanted to comfort you but that would mean coming to terms with the fact that it was my fault you needed to be comforted. I couldn't handle it. I freaked out and I took it would out on you." I tried to say something but he waved a hand to cut me off. "I'm so sorry Johnny. I would choose you. I chose you then, after you walked out that door and made me realize exactly what I had said. I tried to find you the next day, thought you could sleep on it overnight and that way you could have time with your mom but you were already gone. I feel like I've been living in a black hole without you." That had to be the most Luke has ever said to me at one time, I swear. I didn't really react, just stared at him for a long time. Eventually I heaved a big sigh. "I can't trust you Luke. I don't believe a word you say. How do I know you're not just being sweet and kind to get me back? That once you have me it won't all go back to how it was? Do you really expect me to believe that you would choose me over the business? I don't Luke. I don't believe that." He sat up, drawing his legs up Indian style and looking down at me. For the first time I didn't feel like he was trying to intimidate me. "I don't expect you to believe me John. I really don't. Hell, half the time I don't believe me. When I think of you leaving though, when I think of not seeing your face again, not feeling your skin or hearing your voice say you love me. Of not seeing that cocky little smile of yours when you know you got your way, I can't even breathe. I can't see a future without you in it Johnny. I just can't. I would give up anything to keep you with me." My heart swelled with every word he said even though my mind kept trying to tell it not to be stupid, not to trust him. I think though that my heart had gone temporarily deaf. I wanted to touch him, to smile at him, to say I loved him. I just couldn't. Not yet. "Assuming all that is true, what comes next Luke? I fall into your arms, forgive you for everything and we live happily ever after in your big house with your big convicts and your very big business right under our feet every night? I didn't want to be a mobster when I grew up Luke. That definitely wasn't on my wish list when I was in kindergarten. I wanted to grow up, fall in love and be happy. I never wanted to find my damsel in distress - I wanted my knight in shining armor to find me. Even though there was a denial phase that was what I dreamed of when I was little. It is still what I want today. I can't live this life anymore. I just can't." Luke leaned down, pressing his forehead very softly against mine. "Neither can I Johnny," He whispered, so softly that I almost missed it. My eyebrows rose in surprise and I pushed him back enough to look into his eyes. "What does that mean Luke?" His eyes were so intense I almost wanted to look away but I didn't. I forced myself to hold that startlingly beautiful gaze. "Leslie is taking over Johnny. It will be a few weeks, maybe a month or two for me to get him trained the way I want him, and I'll always be over him, checking in on everything of course, but I won't be involved. I want to get a normal job... well, as normal as I can stand. I can't give up the entire business, it's all I've ever known, but one day I plan on just handing it all over to Leslie. He loves this business, he loves being in charge, he loves every bit of it. Also now that he has an apparently steady boyfriend, between the two of them I think they can manage not to run it into the ground." I laughed like he intended, "I'm sure they can." He took a deep breath, "I already bought another place Johnny. I bought it as soon as I heard you were back in town. You know me... king of wishful thinking and all that." I smiled, "No, cocky beyond all imagination and used to getting his way is how I would describe it." Luke shrugged, "You say tomato and all. I want you to see it Johnny. I bought it with you in mind and I really think you will like it. I'm not saying we run off into the sunset together or anything like that. I'm saying to let me try. Let me take you out tomorrow night like I wanted. We can go from there. Please?" I sat up, rising to my knees in front of him so we were eye level. I smiled a little smile and hugged him, just wrapped my arms around him tight, waiting for him to make the next move. I think he was honestly stunned because he didn't move for a whole minute before his big arms wrapped around me squeezing me hard enough to hurt. He reached one arm down and grabbed my legs, wrapping them around him so that I was sitting on his lap. We stayed like that, holding each other tight for lord knows how long. Eventually reality came back and Leslie knocked on the door. I pulled away instantly, scooting back so Luke could get up. He sighed in annoyance and got up, opening the door wide. "What?" Leslie asked innocently as he came face to face with Luke's glare. He walked past him and plopped down on the bed next to me. He smiled like a Cheshire cat and I couldn't help but laugh. "Yes Leslie?" Luke all but growled and Leslie and I both laughed. "I just wanted to let you know the guys and I really appreciate the movie night Johnny. It's been pretty stressful since you left and I think we all needed some non-violent fun." I smiled, "Wrong choice of movies if we didn't want violent. I mean sheesh and to believe I had Bridget Jones's Diary in my hand." Luke and Leslie both winced at that and I laughed. Tough guys and chick movies, I swear. "Well you're welcome, it's all good. Glad you guys enjoyed it." Leslie's face got serious then, and I frowned. He sat up straighter, making sure his eyes were on mine. "We're sorry Johnny." He said softly. I frowned harder. "We're sorry we let you get caught. Since you've come back we've all realized how much we truly took for granted what you did. Luke is hell when you're not here and you make this job a lot more tolerable. I speak for all of us when I tell you that we are so sorry about what happened to you." I was genuinely surprised. None of the guys had talked to me about what happened. Not when it actually had happened or since I had gotten back. I had always assumed it was because Luke had told them not to. It meant a lot. "It wasn't your fault Leslie, it wasn't anyone's fault. He caught us by surprise and there wasn't really anything any of us could do about it. I'm sorry I left but I had a lot going on in my head that just wasn't going to get dealt with here. Thank you a lot for telling me though. Thank the guys too." Leslie smiled, leaning forward to kiss my forehead. He nodded to Luke before he left the room, shutting the door behind him. Luke looked back at me and smiled as my eyes got watery. I brushed the little tears away telling myself to be a man and smiled back. "That was... nice," I said and Luke laughed, coming over to wrap an arm around my shoulders and hug me tight. "I'm really glad your back Johnny boy." He said softly and I didn't respond, the emotions going through my brain were simply way too overwhelming. I just hugged him back and held on. I didn't know if I could forgive Luke, I really didn't. He was different, that much was obvious, but I didn't know if he was telling the truth or just being perfect for the time being. I was scared beyond belief but at that moment all I wanted to do was hug him so that's what I did. That night Luke slept downstairs, having to pull together 3 couches to fit his big ass. I laughed watching him try to get comfortable but he flat-out refused when I offered to switch. I told him he was a prideful buffoon and left him to it. The next day passed by pretty quick, probably because I didn't want it to. I was scared to death about going out with Luke. I didn't know where he wanted to go or what he wanted to do and more importantly I really didn't know how to act. Was this our first date all over again or just two friends going out after being apart for a long time? Or was it very long distance couple going out to rekindle their romance? I was so confused that I didn't even know what to wear. I was going through my clothes, old and new, that were in Luke's closet trying to decide when he came in the door. He was dressed casual, black snug jeans and a long sleeve blue button up shirt that looked silk. Okay not really casual but at least he wasn't wearing slacks because then I would've been worried. I spared him but a glance as I went back to rummaging through the closet. Luke laughed, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist, hugging me from behind. I froze, not sure what to do. He let go before I could think about it and moved around me. "I got this Johnny." He said with an easy smile. He reached in the closet and pulled out a pair of dark blue jeans and a black muscle shirt that was one size too big for me. Seems pointless I know. He smiled and held them out, "There ya go." He sounded way too chipper and I narrowed my eyes. "You gonna tell me what we're doing now?" He smiled wider, "Nope. Hurry up and change, don't want to be late." Late for what, I wanted to ask but I knew he wouldn't tell me. When Luke was in a romantic mood, as rarely as that happened, you didn't get in his way and he never gave hints. Luke around Christmas time was a bitch. I was dressed within ten minutes and Luke was waiting for me outside by the BMW. He held out the keys just like he did so many years ago and just like then I was shocked. "Dude seriously!? Kick ass!" I jumped in the driver's side before he could think to change his mind and started it up, looking at him in exasperation as he took his time getting in. As soon as his door shut I was gone done the driveway, barely hearing him as he told me which way to go. I was a little surprised when we drove into crowded downtown. I honestly didn't expect him to want to be in a heavily populated place. Luke hated crowds. He had me park at the movie theater and I smiled. The Rocky Horror Picture show was playing tonight, with real actors and audience participation required. I smiled as he handed me a bottle of water and some toilet paper, holding on to a few pieces of toast and some rice for himself. I leaned back in my seat and raised a brow, "You hate this movie." I stated calmly. Luke smiled, "No I don't." He said and I laughed. "Oh really? So you like sweet transvestites from transsexual Transylvania?" He flinched like I knew he would and I laughed again. "What are you doing Luke?" He sighed, "You love this movie and I love you. It's a sacrifice I willingly make. Now get out of the car and let's go." He got out before I could respond, shutting the door as I opened my mouth. Well, I thought sarcastically, I guess that's the end of that conversation. The show was amazing, so much so that even Luke laughed some, surprising me when he participated in the Mr. Scott scene. We left with our clothes wet and kicking soggy toilet paper with little bits of rice in it off our feet. I was laughing my ass off when Luke pushed me up against the theater. He cupped my face in his hands and leaned his forehead against mine. He really liked to do that lately. Leaning down he pressed his lips very softly against mine and I sighed, loving the feel of him. I returned the kiss running my hands up his back and holding on to his shoulders. It was a perfect moment, until of course someone else had to ruin it. "Yo fags, get a fucking room!" Some random person yelled and Luke was gone before I could stop him. He grabbed the jock in the Letterman's jacket by the hair throwing him to the ground by me. He walked over as the guy was picking himself up and kicked him in the stomach. "Luke, stop it! I don't care what he says; it's not that big of a deal!" I tried yelling at him, but he was too angry. Offending Luke, while still not a good idea, he can get over. Offending me is a totally different story. He went to kick the guy again and I jumped in front of him, making Luke almost fall backwards so that he didn't kick me in the nuts by accident. I looked down and offered the guy a hand up as Luke stormed back to the car. The guy looked genuinely surprised that I'd offer to help him and it took him a second to, very cautiously, extend his hand. I pulled him to his feet, and he stumbled a bit before righting himself. "You helped me. Why?" He asked, his voice thick with anger and what I thought was a hint of respect. "I'm not like you, that's why. I don't discriminate and I don't care who you are. You're a person and you didn't deserve what he was going to give you." The guy stared at me for a minute before offering me his hand again, this time in friendship, "Sorry for what I said man." I shook his hand, not trying to prove my dominance by squeezing hard and nodded, "Don't worry about it. Just be careful who you offend, alright?" The kid nodded and walked back to his girlfriend who was waiting by the road looking worried. He wrapped an arm around his girl, pulling her close and giving a wide berth to where Luke was. I made my way over to the car where Luke was standing with his arms crossed, looking at the ground. I expected him to yell at me about protecting someone like that so I was pleasantly surprised when he didn't. "I'm sorry Johnny." He said as soon as I got near him and I frowned. "You're sorry?" I asked, making sure I heard him right. "I didn't mean to get so angry. I just can't stand it when people say shit like that to you but I didn't need to get that mad, so I'm sorry. That was really... good of you to help him up. You're an amazing person Johnny and I love that about you." I smiled, stepping forward and leaning my body against his. "It's okay Luke. You're my big bad protector, it's a good thing. Just not all the time." He looked up, a little fear on his face like he expected me to freak out like I used to. I didn't though, I just pushed forward, making his arms open and laid my head on his shoulder. "Hey!" Someone yelled and we both looked over at some guy, hanging out with his buddies at the bar across the parking lot. I knew he was going to say something nasty, hell we were used to it and I put my hands on Luke's arms to make sure he wouldn't do anything. Just as the punk opened his mouth, Letterman's fist came out of nowhere and closed it with a punch. The guy dropped like a sack of potatoes, his friends not even trying to come to his aid. Letterman smiled at me and I smiled back, mouthing thank you and waving. Even Luke nodded in his direction before turning away. Our good night was officially great. Luke opened the passenger side door for me and I smiled; I figured he wouldn't let me drive twice. He took me to the Olive Garden down the street for dinner, another un- Luke thing for him to do as he hated fancy restaurants. We made it halfway through the meal before he started getting twitchy. Luke hated crowds, he hated not being able to move around and he hated having to act nice and polite when he was really brooding and moody. I had to bite my lip not to smile as he started practically bouncing in his seat he was so eager to leave. As soon as I finished the last bite of my alfredo he stood up. "You done?" He asked in a strained voice and I laughed. I took my time getting up, finishing the very last of my drink as he rolled his eyes at me. He knew I loved to watch him squirm in public where he couldn't do anything. It was a sick little flaw of mine. As soon as we got outside Luke exhaled like he had been holding his breath for ten minutes. He really didn't like places like that. "Luke..." I said and he looked over at me, "Do you want to go to Mike's?" I swear it was like I just offered a starving man a steak the expression on his face was so relieved. It was almost comical. "You have no freaking clue how much I would love to go to Mike's Johnny boy." I nodded and headed to the car, not surprised when he beat me to it. Mike's was a local bar down in the not so pleasant part of town where Luke loved to go. It was full of bikers and thugs and I think he felt right at home because he didn't have to behave or be polite or even discreet, it was notorious for catering to the gay community. Luke drove like a bat out of hell, turning into what looked like a dead end driveway and going to the underground parking lot of Mike's. This neighborhood was not one you wanted to leave your car out in and you could always tell the tourists from the locals because we knew about the underground parking and they didn't. Our cars got valet parking and theirs got missing hubcaps. Luke tossed the keys at a young kid in biker boots and all but towed me inside. As soon as we got into the bar Luke changed ,his body relaxed a small smile played on his lips and his hand in mine loosened. This was his element. He nodded at Mike, the owner and bar tender and sat down at one of the booths, putting me on the inside. Luke changed when we came to Mike's, he got.....well sexier. Here he got a little more aggressive....sexually. I like a little BDSM here and there and when we came to Mike's....well it was more here than there. I knew this was a bad idea as soon as his body started crowding mine. "Now Luke, just because-" I started and his hand locked onto the back of my neck, squeezing hard enough to make me groan. "Shut up Johnny boy." He whispered in my ear and I shivered. Going Home Ch. 08 I had a slight idea where this night was going to end up as soon as Mark brought us over two shots of tequila. Luke's car was going to stay here. We were gonna get a taxi, and the rest is...well left up to the imagination of Luke Havers. Luke downed his shot, watching me with predator's eyes as I downed mine. As soon as my glass hit the table his teeth hit my neck, biting down hard enough to make me cry out. The loud music in the bar along with the fact that no one gave a shit what the other people were doing meant I could be just about as loud as I wanted. Luke groaned my name against my skin, kissing the bite mark, doing a trail of hot kisses up until he latched onto my ear lobe. I moaned, wrapping an arm around his neck , digging my nails into his shoulder. My cock was hard as soon as he told me to shut up and now it was straining against my pants. Luke fully turned so his body was covering mine, and I'm sure to an onlooker it looked like Luke was by himself, crowding the corner, his body blocked mine so completely. His hands trailed down my chest, going in my shirt and tweaking my nipples, making my breath catch. Mike kept the shots coming until we both had 8 empty little shot glasses, and Luke had two empty Jack and Cokes, my vision was blurry and I didn't remember my own name. I remembered Luke's though. Couldn't forget that with his hand down my pants. He had reached into my pants during the last shot and I gasped when his big hand wrapped around my cock. I arched into his hand, forgetting we were in public, or that I shouldn't do this with him, or the big factor of if I had sex with Luke there was no going back. Nope none of that crossed my mind. I pulled his hand away, making us both groan in disappointment and pushed him back until he stood up. "Bed. Now." I mumbled when he frowned at me. His face lit up then and he led me to the taxis that waited by the curb. We made out like horny teenagers the entire ride back to Luke's house and I think he paid for a 20 dollar cab ride with a 100 before dragging me out of the car. I didn't see anything but him as he led me to his room, smiling as he pushed me down on the bed. My cock was bulging against my zipper, very obvious and Luke's eyes locked onto it as he licked his lips. My body was shaking I was so turned on. I swear it was Luke's mission to drive me insane. Luke slowly stripped off his shirt, making sure my eyes followed every movement of those artistic hands. When that was gone, his hands hit his belt and I broke out in a sweat. I wanted him so bad it was hard to breathe. His pants were gone and he was commando as always and I sighed as I finally got a look at Luke's full glorious naked body. There was a little voice in the back of my head trying to get me to reason, to think straight but I ignored it. This man was perfection. Flat stomach, tight abs and a gorgeous thin happy trail that led down and down, where his sharp hip bones were and below that...the thing my body was craving. He climbed onto the bed like a predator on a mission and I couldn't help but smile as I played the helpless prey. Luke's hands crept up my shirt until they were in the center of my chest. With a flex of his muscles the shirt ripped in half and I moaned, my eyes closing briefly. I was propped up on my elbows and Luke started kissing down my chest like I was an offering he couldn't refuse. He bit my nipple and I groaned his name, my hips raising off the bed of their own accord. Luke pushed them back down and I moaned a little in desperation. I needed him bad and I didn't want to wait anymore. Luke however was as cruel as cruel could get and kept kissing down until he hit my unbuttoned pants. He pulled them down swiftly along with my boxers and went to nibbling. He hit my hip making me shudder and slowly kissed a path down, going around my cock, kissing a hot path to my other hip bone. "Luke, Luke please." I knew what he wanted to hear. His lips covered my cock so fast my head spun. A lot of people would think a domineering person like Luke would be the one receiving not giving but honestly it was a passion of his. He liked to get me as hard as he could before he took me. It made me last longer as torturous as it was. My cock hit the back of his mouth and I gripped the sheets tight so I didn't come. I wanted to wait, I wanted to draw it out and I knew he did to. It was so difficult though. Luke's lips were like satin and his tongue was heaven as he twirled it around my cock. He looked up at me with angry eyes and I bit my lip hard enough to bleed. I loved that look. He grabbed my hips fast and flipped me over and I tucked my knees under me on instinct. I don't know where he get the lube I never did, my mind couldn't think that far out of the box when I was this turned on...and drunk. His slick fingers slid into my body without warning and I groaned so loud it was almost a scream. Luke had very long fingers and he knew exactly where to touch in my body. He drove me wild until he thought I was ready and I had been telling him for what seemed like hours that I was. I felt him move up behind me and literally held my breath. I expected it fast and was pleasantly surprised when Luke slowly slid inside me. I gasped now, feeling the burning need to have him all the way inside me, missing the way he made me feel. No one could replace Luke, I don't know why I ever thought anyone could. Once he was in as far as he could go he started moving and I started moaning. He got faster and faster, his hands grabbing my hips to hold on as I bit the pillow trying not to come. Eventually I told him to go faster and he finally let go, giving it to me like he knew I liked. He went deeper and faster and I started panting, I wasn't going to last much longer. He finally stopped teasing me and thrust in hard, hitting my prostate head on and I came screaming his name into the pillow. He came with me, something I had always loved though it was rare and I slumped down into the pillow after we finished. Luke pulled out and rolled over, laying on his back. He was panting as I was and he looked at me with a smile. I dragged my limp hand up to hold onto his and passed out before I could even reach. The next morning I woke up with a killer headache, regret already going through my body. It wasn't strong though, not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I was almost content, which I knew wasn't a good sign. Looking around I frowned, this wasn't Luke's bed, and it wasn't Luke's room. Sneaking out of bed while he was still out cold I opened the door and looked out into the hallway. This wasn't even Luke's house. I closed the door and walked back to the bed, pausing for a moment before slapping Luke on the thigh. He woke up with a grunt, eyes wide as he sat straight up. He looked around for a second before looking at me and sighing. "Jeez Johnny what'd you do that for?" He grumbled, always a grouch in the morning. "Luke...where are we?" I asked, crossing my arms. He smiled like cat that ate the canary and said, "We are at our new house Johnny boy." I frowned again, "You mean your new house?" I asked and he laughed, laying back. "Nah Johnny, I mean our new house". I took a deep breath and tried not to smile at the thought that he was serious, he had actually bought a new house and he might actually be telling the truth about leaving the compound. I smacked Luke in the leg again and opened the door, walking out so he wouldn't see my happy expression. I tried so hard not to believe it but I think my mind had shut off...again. "I'll see you downstairs Johnny, we got a lot to talk about!" Luke called after me and I shook my head. I told the happy feeling in my gut to go to hell and went to look around Luke's....ours....the house. Today was going to be a long day. Going Home Ch. 09 This is the final chapter in the Luke and Johnny story. A very well made comment hit home when it was said that i was saying and writing what i thought the readers wanted, not exactly what i wanted and that was true. This ending is exactly how i wanted it, though some people might think its weird, to me its just how i wanted it to go. Oh and to clear up confusion, Vermont is, from what i researched, unless its changed recently, one of the states that allow gay marriage. * I was sitting at the bar in the kitchen, drinking some OJ I had found in the fridge when Luke finally made his way downstairs. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, softly kissing the back of my neck. My skin broke out in goose bumps and I felt him smile against me. I pulled away from him, turning around on the bar stool so I could face him. He frowned, "What's the problem Johnny?" I shook my head, "Luke what do you think last night was? Let's do a nice long fuck and everything will be forgiven?" He backed up a couple of steps and crossed his arms across his bare chest which I was trying not to stare at. The attraction my body felt for this man, despite what I thought about him, was ridiculous. "What the hell else do you want Johnny. I told you I would give up everything, my company my reputation, everything for you. I told you I would change, I bought us our own house to prove that I was serious and things would really be different. What else do you want!" His voice slowly crept up until he sounded angry and I sat there for a minute, surprised. What else did I want? I had Luke, the man I had always loved, he had changed, not hurting my ex was proof of that by itself. He was willing to give up the compound, the job, everything for me. What else did I want? Finally I looked up at him, "I don't know Luke. I just can't....I can't forgive you. Your ripped my heart out and stomped it into the ground, and I just don't how to forgive you for that." That was the honest truth, he had given me everything I wanted, hell he had paid for my mom's surgery the first two weeks I was here. Actually he had given more than I could have asked for especially with this huge house; I didn't want anything else. The problem, for once, wasn't Luke, it was me. He stared at me long enough that I looked away before nodding once, "Fine. I don't know what else to do Johnny so I tell you what, once you figure out what's going on in that head of yours, you come find me and let me know." He tossed me something and I caught it on instinct, "Your key to the house, stay, leave, your choice, just wanted you to have a way to get back in." He walked away without another world, going back upstairs. It didn't take even ten minutes before he came back down, fully dressed, and left the house without a word or even a look in my direction. I had a lot of time to myself that day, Luke didn't come back at all, even well into the night. It took me a while, but after walking the entire house and eventually getting back to the bedroom I had pretty much figured out what I need to do. I couldn't let go because I never got to really express all of my pent up emotions. I never got him when he would really listen and just yelled at him, but that wasn't I wanted to do right then either. Luke had changed once I told him to stop being like Daniel, but he still wasn't the overbearing dominating person I fell for. I liked that Luke was being more romantic, and I didn't want that to change. It's not that I wanted to be in abusive relationship or have him treat me like crap, despite the great make up sex, however he wasn't being the Luke I knew and loved, and not to mention the need to beat the shit out of him was pretty strong. Getting up I called Leslie, who confirmed Luke was still at the compound, and I left, finding keys next to the door and a brand new motorcycle outside, replacing the one Mike blew up. I hopped on and after getting my bearings straight headed in the direction of the compound. Naturally it was only twenty minutes away and I parked, killing the bike's motor so it wouldn't make noise, just in case. I walked in the door, nodding at Frank who was watching it. He moved like he was going to tell Luke I was there and I shook my head, silently asking him not to. I went downstairs, a small smile on my face when the elevator door opened and I saw most of the guys were there. Luke was at my work station looking over papers with a huge frown; he never was good at the details. He looked up at me with a surprised look that quickly turned into a frown. "Figured it out yet Johnny?" Again with the real name. I nodded, taking off my jacket and tossing it on a bench near him. He watched me with that steady frown as I paced a wide circle around him. "I need you to tell the guys not to interfere no matter what, ok?" Luke frowned but nodded to the guys behind me who instantly backed up a few paces. I took Luke's hand and pulled him off the bar stool he was on. I then picked up the stool and the bench and put them on top of the work table, pushing it on its little wheels across the room, where someone caught it. Luke stood with his arms crossed and his eyes guarded. "So....what is it that you need Johnny boy?" I smiled and walked up to him slowly so he wouldn't suspect anything. Leaning up I whispered in his ear, "You." I punched him in the stomach so hard he fell back a few feet, his eyes flashing up to mine in anger as his guys moved forward on instinct. I looked at them and he shook his head making them back off again. Luke stood angrily, "What the fuck was that!" I smiled and stalked towards him, "I want the real Luke back, the mean asshole Luke that I fell for. Also...I never got my frustrations out, so I figured two birds one stone. Beat the shit out of you, and get you so angry that your I'm nice now routine fades away." I punched him across the jaw, making his neck snap and at the same time kicked him hard in the shin, making him fall to one knee. I tilted his angry face up and smiled before punching him in the lip, busting it. He fell back at that and my anger rolled through me, making my vision turn red. I went over and started kicking him in the stomach. "Never choose them over me, never tell me you don't trust me, never think I would betray, and NEVER break my heart like you did that night!" I yelled as I rained down kicks to his stomach and back. He laid there for a second and I kept going, "Give me back the real Luke!" I finally yelled and as I went to kick him again his hand lashed out fast as lighting and grabbed my foot. He yanked on my foot hard and I fell to the ground, surprised. His weight settled over me instantly and he grinned through his busted lip, his teeth stained with blood. "You got him Johnny boy." With that he socked me a good one across the jaw snapping my head back. I moved out of the as he went to punch me again, making him hit the floor. Like I said it's not that I wanted him to beat me, it's that I needed this fight, I needed to get him angry because I was angry, and I needed to win or lose fair and square. That was what I needed for so long, I needed my justice, I needed what I felt was revenge, and mainly I really wanted to see Luke bleeding because of me. Sick and twisted I know, but it's what my bruised heart wanted. "What do you want Johnny? Do you want me to say I'm sorry? I am. Do you want me to beg for your forgiveness? I will. If you want to pound the shit of me, I'll lay back and let you. Just tell me where you want this to go." His voice was deep and I knew without a doubt he would let me beat him to a pulp without fighting back. I didn't want that though. Without answering, I twisted under his body and used my weight to throw him off with my hip, spinning around and kicking him in the knee. I grabbed that short black hair and pulled like a girl so I could get a good shot at his face. He leaned forward and cheated though, biting hard on my other arm, almost drawing blood and I let his hair go. I punched him in the ribs one good time before I was back under him, this time on my stomach. He pulled my arms up behind my back and pushed, making me grit my teeth and try not to groan in pain. He leaned down and I could feel his hot breath on my ear. "I knew you liked it rough Johnny, but jeez." His voice was deep and sexy and touched me in all the right places. I shivered a second before clearing my head and head butting him hard. It hurt us both but it knocked him back giving me perfect time to scramble out from under him. I jumped on his back, though I knew I couldn't hold him down long and reached behind him to pull one of those strong legs up sharply, making him gasp. His hands reached behind him to grab me but I moved back, out of reach. Dumb idea I figured out as he kicked his other knee up and hit me in the back, knocking me over. I figured out I was going to lose, and since my anger and pride had pretty much worn themselves out now all I really felt was......well I was pretty damn turned on actually. I'm a twisted kid. I got up and ran and Luke smiled; chasing was another fantasy we both had in common, mainly because we liked the end...where he caught me. I liked to be dominated sometimes, not all the time and not really outside the bedroom too much, but sometimes I like being told what to do, made to do it, and even liked a little fear. I pushed the button on the elevator as I ran by it, hoping Luke didn't notice. I waited until it opened and shoved the work table at him, which we had made our way around to. He stumbled like I wanted and I dove into the elevator, hitting the close doors button as I backed up against the wall. Luke isn't slow however, and my plan backfired just as the doors were about to close. Luke stalked over to the elevator calmly and two seconds before the door closed put his hand in the jam, stopping it. I went to dodge out beside him but he grabbed me by the hair and slammed me hard into the elevator wall, his arm tight across my chest. He didn't look back as the doors closed but I did, and I saw the confused, respectful, and downright amused faces of the guys as they slowly started milling about again. After that it was just me and Luke and I looked up into his electric blue eyes and smiled, testing his strength as I tried to push his arm away. He laughed as I failed and I leaned back relaxing, "Now what Blue? What's your next move in this fight of ours?" We were both bleeding and hurting but neither one really felt it. He smiled that huge grin that I hadn't seen in a while and leaned forward to whisper in my ear again. "Now Johnny boy I take you to my room, hold you down, and fuck that tight little ass like I know you like." I shivered instantly, fighting off the urge to moan and Luke just smiled a very dark smile that I feared and loved at the same time. The elevator opened and Leslie and William were standing in front of the doors. Luke momentarily let go and stepped back as their eyes went wide and I took advantage of his mistake. I ran past them both, actually pushing them into the elevator to win me some time. Luke smiled again and nodded at the two men who quickly moved out his way; bastards. His long legs were twice the size of mine and as I reached the stair case he tackled me to the ground. He stood up, pulling me by my hair with him. He pulled me back until my back hit his chest and, wrapping one hand soundly around my throat, he turned us back towards the hallway. "Walk." He growled and my dick stood at attention instantly. I tried to fight him but figured out he'd gladly drag me and started walking for the sake of my feet getting hurt. He turned me into his room and I put both arms out on the jams, knowing he wouldn't break them. Once again I forgot that Luke didn't play fair and I screamed as his hand turned my chin sharply to expose my neck, and he promptly sunk his teeth in, harder than he ever had. I felt my flesh give as my arms dropped like wet noodles and I groaned his name. He kept up the pressure until we were well inside the room and the door was locked and bolted, with the key to the dead bolt in his hand, and then thrown across the room somewhere I couldn't see. He let go of my neck and caught me as I slumped, my muscles gone temporarily weak. He dropped me on the bed and laid his big body down over mine. I pretended to fight but we both knew my heart wasn't in it. He ripped my shirt down the middle, something that was incredibly hot to me and yanked my jeans off with no problem as I wasn't wearing a belt. I was commando underneath, as rare as it was and Luke grinned that predatory smile that made my heart skip a beat and my skin break out in goose bumps. "Very sexy Johnny boy, I love it when your all hot and waiting for me. I love my control over your body." I bit my lip hard as Luke, without moving his weight off of my pinned waist, slowly took his shirt off, throwing it across the room where I assume the tattered pieces of mine were as well. I let me eyes roam over his broad chest, appreciating the view as I licked my lips. Luke's eyes tracked the movement and I looked up as they darkened with lust. He looked at me like he wanted to devour me and I knew I was lost. Luke used his weight and flipped us over, until I was straddling him and I smiled, knowing that he was letting me have control if I wanted it. It was a big deal, especially in the mood he was in, that he would let me take the lead and I took full advantage of it. Scooting down I unbuttoned his pants, lifting up so that I could take them off of him. He was wonderfully smooth underneath me and I knew he had shaved, a fact I hadn't really paid much attention to the night before. I wanted to tease him until it drove him crazy; I wanted to feel like I had as much control over his body as he had over mine. Leaning down I slowly started kissing his chest, making sure my ass was poised just above his cock, waiting. I knew he wouldn't fuck me dry so I had nothing to worry about as I started teasing him. I ran my tongue slowly around his nipple and his hands tightened on the sheets. I bit softly and got the satisfaction of him moaning my name. His hips started moving just a little and I knew he was fighting to keep control. I kept up my trail of kisses and nibbles, until I got to his hip bone, just like he liked to do to me. I kissed it softly, looking up his body to meet his intense eyes. Keeping my eyes on his I bit down, hard enough to make his entire body jump. Luke had very sensitive hips, which I loved to exploit, and I kept my teeth locked on his skin while lightly sucking on his hip. My name left his lips on a gasp and I smiled, letting him go. I sat up, moving back so that his dick was in front of my body, wrapping my hand tight around it, making his head hit the pillow hard as his eyes rolled back. His hands had slowly but surely started creeping towards me and as I stroked his cock in my hand they found my arms, trailing up to grab on tight to the back of my neck. He yanked my face down to his and kissed me hard, shoving his tongue in my mouth before I could move. I battled with his tongue, trying to get control of the kiss and eventually sighed and let him win; it was such a small and delicious battle to lose. He pulled back after a second, and I knew my lips were puffy and red by the way he smiled. "You win Johnny, you can play my body like a fine tuned guitar now please, please stop teasing me." Hearing Luke beg for anything was my undoing and I smiled, dragging my body up and across his until my lower stomach was above his face as I reached for the bottle of lube on his nightstand. He kissed around my navel before I could stop him and I shuddered. I made sure my chest slid across his as I came back down and he bit his lip, staring up at me with big blue eyes. I took my time rubbing the lube over his dick, sliding my hand up and down excruciatingly slow, getting my sadistic rocks off as I felt him try to push himself faster into my hand. I put lube on my fingers and made sure I was ready enough for him before slowly settling my body over his cock. I locked my eyes on his, my nails digging into his chest already as I slowly lowered myself down. We both moaned, my eyes fluttering closed, as he slid inside me. When my ass was resting against his hips I let out the breath I had been holding and opened my eyes, looking down into his. The dark lust that had been there before was replaced with something softer, and I leaned down to kiss him again. I started moving, sliding up his dick until he was almost all the way out of me and slamming back down. I caught his surprised moan in my mouth and smiled. Leaning my head down into the crevice of his neck I started to suck the skin there as I repeated my movement, starting to ride his cock. His hands trailed down my back, his nails digging in, making me arch, taking him that much deeper inside me. We both groaned and his hands gripped my ass as he started losing his tightly reigned control. He started controlling my movements, shoving me down on his dick over and over as I gripped his chest tight and held on. Keeping one hand on my ass he pulled the other one back and gripped my cock tightly, making my breath hiss out of my teeth in surprise. I felt my body start to shake and Luke smiled, jacking me off faster. I tightened my muscles around him, smiling to myself when I felt his hand falter. He moved me faster on his cock and I threw my head back as I started to cum, riding out the pleasure while my nails dragged deeply across his chest. He came with me again, something I was really starting to love, and I moaned his name as I felt his hot cum inside me. He pushed in deep one last time and held himself there as I looked down at him, knowing that my eyes held nothing but love for the first time in a long time. I didn't feel any anger, or pain or regret. I felt him, and how much I loved him. More importantly I felt how much he truly did love me. After we both came down I kind of just fell ungracefully on his chest, exhausted. He didn't mind, laughing softly as he ran his cool hands over my hot skin, soothing the now painful marks on my back. It wasn't a bad pain though, and certainly not one I minded. Luke kept stroking my skin and was unusually quiet. I leaned back a little, propping myself up on my arms to look down at him. "Problem?" I asked with a smile. "What does this mean Johnny? You got out what you needed to get out so what does that mean? Are you going to be able to move past what happened? I mean, I don't think I could live with it if every time we got into a fight you threw it back in my face what happened. It's hard enough that you have to live with the scars your entire life, I can't handle it if you say your past it and you're not." I frowned, Luke never talked after sex, let alone about anything serious. His dick was still inside me so when I moved to sit up we both groaned. Shaking my head before I tried to revive his dick for another round I thought about what he said. "Luke if I tell you I'm past it, then I am. You remember that first night I found out about you, about the compound, and everything else? You shot a man in front of me, and it fucked me up in the head for a little while. However, I've never thrown it in your face, and I'm not throwing it in your face now. I'm telling you that once I commit myself, once I make a promise to you, I won't break it. I told you I was ready then and I was. I'm telling you now, I'm moving past it. I got what I needed out and I really am moving past it. Once I do it's over, and I promise you I would never throw something so painful in your face again." Going Home Ch. 09 Luke gave me one of those rare true smiles and I smiled back, leaning down to kiss him softly. Eventually I ruined the mood, as I usually did somehow when I asked a question that had been bugging me all night. "Luke what about Mike? I mean....what are we going to do about him?" Luke sighed, one of his hands holding my wrist, his thumb tracing lazy circles around my inside vein without his notice. "I'm not honestly sure Johnny. You know he's not gonna give up, he's gonna keep doing whatever he can to shut us down, especially now that your staying. We have been dealing with him for years though Johnny, we can handle him. We have more men then he does, and from what I hear his guys aren't nearly as hard to crack as ours are. He doesn't know where we work from and he doesn't have any idea how to break us down. He's a bunch a smoke and mirrors and I am pretty sure no matter what he does decide to throw at us, though it will probably be stupidly dramatic, we can handle it." I smiled, leaning down to stroke his face gently. He nuzzled into my hand, kissing the center of my palm softly. "As long as it's we and not just you I'm sure I don't have anything to worry about." We got dressed eventually and went back down to the compound for Luke to make his big announcement that he was leaving. A lot of people weren't happy, and I mean a lot, but after some crowd control on my part and a few reassurances from Luke that he wasn't leaving right this second, or leaving completely people slowly calmed down. Leslie had a lot to live up to if he wanted to replace Luke, and the look on his face, half fear and half pride, proved he knew that. However William stood behind him the entire time, not touching him but never leaving his side and I knew he would be fine. I knew in my head, as most of the guys that looked at me with pleading eyes knew to, that I would still have to handle the paperwork part of the compound. I could handle that though, I had no problem with that whatsoever. This was a big part of who Luke was, and I knew that going into our relationship and now. As happy as I was that he was leaving, I knew it wouldn't be out of our lives forever and I was okay with that. I rode my motorcycle back to the....our house and Luke followed me in his BMW, constantly passing me so he could whistle out the window and getting behind me again so he could watch my ass. He didn't like to race me when I was on the bike because he was a little to paranoid about me getting hurt, but when we did race it was pretty fun. Getting back to the house I parked and waited for him to get out of his car before walking towards the door. His hand caught mine and I stopped, looking back with a frown. "What's wrong Blue?" I asked and I noticed the way his lips curled into a small smile every time I said his nickname. He pulled my right hand to his and I glanced at the ring on my finger, then back up at him. His eyes were hopeful yet guarded, like he was expecting me to reject him still. Pulling the ring off my finger I handed it to him with a smile. "You know, I think Vermont is really pretty this time of year, I mean ya know...if you wanna take a trip sometime." I thought his cheeks would split he smiled so big. He didn't kneel again, or ask again, because he didn't need to. Slipping the ring on my left hand he scooped me up into his arms and carried me in the house. "Vermont sounds amazing baby." He whispered and I laughed as he kicked the door shut.