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Discovering, Accepting, Learning Ch. 01

By: Rational_Slut



I discovered that I loved sucking cock in my very early 20's. I loved women, still do, in fact emotionally I can only be attracted to women, but there was something missing sexually. This was in the early 70's so porn was not a mouse click away like it is now. You either found an adult bookstore, not always easy to do, or you had the magazines like Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler. If you are old enough to remember those days you know that Penthouse had a letters section. Not always believable, but good for discovering new things from regular vanilla sex between a man and woman, to BDSM, to bi or gay, hell even incest. Pretty much any story was ok. I loved reading those letters and jacking off to all the possibilities they showed me.

When I first read some of the bi and gay stories I found myself very excited, which surprised me. It surprised me even more that I always imagined it was me that was the one giving pleasure to another man rather than the one receiving it. I became more and more obsessed with the thought of sucking a cock. The problem was in those days I had no idea how to go about doing it. I certainly could not let anyone I knew learn of these desires. I could not imagine how people would think of me if they knew that about me.

I was 22 and in Houston Texas waiting to catch a ship. I had been in the Merchant Marines for a year and this was where I was shipping out of. While waiting for the next available freighter or oil tanker that had a job opening I discovered that only a couple blocks from my hotel was an adult bookstore. I was amazed at the porn that was available there. No longer restricted to R rated porn, suddenly I was able to get hold of the real deal. XXX all the way. 

I bought issues of gay porn, bi porn, dominance and submission porn, everything but regular sex that I could see, or do anywhere for that matter. I would take the mags back to my hotel room and read them and look at the photos of every kind of sexual activity I could imagine. But I always found myself cumming hardest while looking at photos of men sucking cock. And I always imagined that I was the one sucking the, dare I say, beautiful cocks that were in the photos. I was embarrassed by these feelings, but they grew stronger and stronger. 

One day while looking at the racks of magazines at the porn shop I saw one that was for swingers in the local Houston area. I of course bought it and when I got back to my room started reading the ads. A very few were from single women, though to be honest they were worded in a way that it sounded like there would be money involved. A few more were from couples but they almost always were looking for women. The majority were from men, most seeking women, but about 3 in 10 from a man seeking another man. 

Also, most of the ads had PO boxes to contact the people which would not work for me as I did not know when I would be shipping out and in the days when snail mail was the only mail I figured it would just take too long to contact anyone. But a few of the ads had phone numbers to call. I was pretty amazed that someone would have big enough balls to put their phone number in an ad that dealt with sex, but hey, maybe I would find one that interested me.

And of course I did. By far most of the men looking for men were looking to give and take with other man, a smaller group was only looking to service other men, and the fewest were from men who just wanted another man to suck their cock. Those were the ones that interested me. I didn't even consider looking for someone to suck me; I just had to find out what it would be like to suck cock. 

Well there was one ad from a man that said he was 55 and looking for a younger man who wanted to become his cocksucker. My cock actually twitched when I read the word cocksucker. In all the times I had imagined sucking cock I had never considered that it would make me a cocksucker if I did, but for reasons beyond my understanding I wanted to be a cocksucker, even called a cocksucker. And as much as I could not believe it, the ad had a phone number. 

Well as you might imagine I spent a couple days debating about calling it. I would tell myself that it was probably a disconnected number or that at 22 why would I want to suck the cock of a 55 year old man. Then I would think about finally feeling a cock slip between my lips and I would get myself right to the point of being ready to call but chicken out and just jack off thinking about it instead. Well one evening, about 7 PM I had swallowed just enough beer to pick up the phone and dial without thinking about it. Gotta love the bravery that alcohol can give. 

The phone rang several times with me sweating like a fool and as I was just getting ready to hang up a man answered. "Hello." I didn't say anything for a few seconds and the man again said, "Hello."

"I'm calling about the ad." I finally had enough nerve to say expecting him to not know what I was talking about.

"What ad would that be?" he asked with what seemed like a chuckle.

I told him, with a nervous voice that I had seen an ad in whatever magazine it was and he chuckled again and asked. "Are you a cocksucker?"

I didn't know how to respond and just held the phone shaking against my ear and he asked again, "I said, are you a cocksucker?"

I took a deep breath and said "I want to be." and took several deep breaths waiting for his reply.

"How old are you?" he asked and I told him.

"You understand I have no interest in touching you, I just enjoy a boy sucking my cock. Are you ready to suck my cock and get nothing in return?" he asked.

I told him that was just what I was looking for and about how I had been curious about it a long time and just had to find out what it was like. He asked me if I was ready to swallow his cum and I didn't know what to say. I had never thought about it to the end, always cumming myself while just imagining the cock in my mouth, not what the result would be and once I came I had stopped thinking about it until the next time it popped up again.

In for a dollar in for a pound I guess and I said, "If that is what it takes then I guess I am ready to try."

"If you really are a cocksucker boy, then you will probably love my cum filling your mouth. Either way, if you start sucking my cock you are going to suck until I have dumped all my cum in your mouth." He was quiet for a minute and then asked, "Where are you?"

Before I could think about it I blurted out the hotel I was in. He said, "What room?" And again, without thinking about it I again blurted out the room number.

"I am about 5 miles away" he said, "I will be there in 15 minutes."

I was shocked. I don't know what I expected but I didn't expect it to happen this quick. I was quiet again and he finally said, "Boy, you called me remember. You want to be a cocksucker, I have a cock that needs to cum. I don't see any reason why you should call me if you weren't ready to take care of my needs. Do you boy?"

"No Sir." I said.

"Good. Be ready for me boy." He said as he hung up the phone.

I almost could not breathe. In 15 minutes and older man would be at my door and he was expecting me to suck his cock and swallow his cum. Was I ready to finally experience what I had been thinking about for so long? I didn't know, but I didn't see how I was going to get out of finding out. I suppose I could have just not answered the door when he knocked, but what would his reaction be? Would he make a scene? I didn't know. I was sweating like crazy thinking about it when there was a knock on the door.

Before I lost my nerve I opened the door and standing there was a man old enough to be my father. He was about 6'1, maybe 200 lbs. and had salt and pepper hair. I should say I am 5'10, 175 with red hair and a beard. He looked me up and down and said "Are you my cocksucker boy?"

My heart beat as I thought about the possibility of someone in the hall hearing what he said but I quickly replied "I want to be Sir."

He walked in past me and said as he stood in the middle of the room, near the end of the bed, "Well then why are you standing up, a cocksucker belongs on his knees."

I closed the door and kneeled down without even being aware I did. He laughed and said "You really are anxious boy. Tell me what you want to do."

I lowered my eyes and said quietly "I want to suck your cock Sir."

"And what do you want to become boy?" he said looking directly at me.

Still looking down I again said quietly "A cocksucker sir."

I could feel my own cock growing hard at the thought that this was really about to happen. He said more firmly "Look me in the eyes boy and tell me both those things again."

With my cock now fully erect and throbbing, I looked into his amused eyes and said "I want to suck your cock Sir and become a cocksucker."

"Then get over here and take care of business boy" he said with a chuckle.

I didn't even think about standing up. I didn't really think about anything at all. My mind was numb and I kind of wiggled over until I was kneeling in front of him, his crotch level with my face.

"Well boy, take down my pants and get busy."

Nervously I reached up and unbuckled his pants, undid them and slid them down his legs. He kicked off his shoes and stepped out of his pants and kicked them to the side. Now it was just boxers that were inches from my face and while his cock was not yet hard I could see it was much bigger than mine. I am average I guess, about 6 inches hard, but his looked to be that long and it wasn't erect. "Take down my shorts boy and meet the cock that is going to fill your mouth with cum."

My cock still throbbing and his words causing me to get even more excited I reached up and pulled down his shorts. And there in front of me was the only cock I had seen this close up. It was beautiful. Cut, surrounded by dark hair, low hanging and large balls, his cock swelled slightly as I stared at it. "Don't use your hands boy, just bend forward and give my cock a kiss. Show me that you are serious about being a cocksucker."

In a trance I did just as he asked. Feeling his cock against my lips was when I knew I had to suck his cock, had to suck any cock that would let me, had to be a cocksucker. I kissed it several times as it grew and unable to resist any more, my fantasy finally becoming real, I dipped down and took several inches of it into my mouth. He looked down and me and said "Well I guess you are a cocksucker boy. From now on, no matter what you do or where you go you can't take back that you had my cock in your mouth. You will be a cocksucker for the rest of your life even if you never suck another cock again."

It was true, I knew it. I was a cocksucker. I also knew this would not be the last cock I sucked. The feeling as my mouth slid down the length of his cock was intense. The feeling of his cock growing hard in my mouth was the sexiest thing I had ever felt. I knew I was where I belonged. I loved the feeling of his cock in my mouth. I loved his cock. I loved cock. My own cock was so hard it almost hurt and I did what cocksuckers do. I slid my mouth up and down his shaft, being careful to not let my teeth rub against it, using my tongue to massage it as my lips kept pressure against it. 

"You are a natural boy," he said. "I am going to love filling your mouth with my cum"

I no longer doubted that I wanted to taste his cum. I no longer doubted that I wanted to be on my knees sucking cock. I no longer wondered if I would like sucking cock, I knew I did. I knew I would want to do this again. As my mouth worked up and down his hardness I could hear him moaning gently and knew I was doing a good job. I was doing what a cocksucker should do, make a man feel good, make a man cum.

"Get ready cocksucker, wont be long now and you will find out what a man's cum tastes like. And you better swallow it all boy, you got that?" he said.

I nodded as I continued to work his cock in and out of my mouth. I felt my hands reach up to cup his balls as my mouth worked faster and faster to bring him off. His cock suddenly felt even harder in my mouth and without warning he began shooting his cum into my mouth. The first shot surprised me but I kept my lips locked on his shaft and tried to swallow as fast as he was shooting his sperm into my mouth. Some leaked out the corner of my lips but I held his cock in my mouth until he started to soften. I didn't want it to end but he pulled out and said "That's enough boy, it gets sensitive after I cum, now lick up all that cum leaking out of your cocksucking mouth."

So help me I did. I loved his cum. I loved showing him that I was indeed his cocksucker and did what a cocksucker is supposed to do. I used my fingers to wipe up the cum dripping down my cheeks and chin and sucked my fingers clean. 

Still kneeling there I realized I had cum too. When his cum was shooting into my mouth I had exploded in my pants. I had never felt so right. On my knees with a real man using me as his cocksucker. It was just where I belonged.

"Well boy, when I got here you wanted to be a cocksucker. Tell me, what are you now?"

"I am a cocksucker Sir." I said. "Thank you!"

He was still chuckling as he dressed and left me there, still on my knees, thinking about what I had done and what I now was.

Discovering, Accepting, Learning Ch. 02



The day after I discovered how much I loved sucking cock and having a man fill my mouth with his cum I shipped out. I was working on an oil tanker sailing from the refinery docks in the Gulf to NY and other eastern ports. All I could think of when I wasn't working was how that man had made me feel, on my knees, his cock hardening in my mouth, filling my mouth with cum, calling me a cocksucker, showing me where I belonged. 

I jacked off many times thinking about that experience and knew I would have to have more. As much as I loved women I knew I could not live without also enjoying the intense pleasure of giving other men what they wanted and deserved. Letting them use me to relieve their stress and as a receptacle for their cum. 

I would sometimes flush with embarrassment when I first thought of it, but it would always make me hard and end with my stroking my cock until I came. I even learned to enjoy the taste of my own cum since I was unable to taste what I really wanted, another man's cum.

I had been on the ship about two months when on one of our trips to NY it was announced that we would be doing some repairs and would be in port almost a week, instead of the 18 or so hours we normally were. This meant that we went on port watch which would give me plenty of time off to explore NY. I had never really been there before, other than for brief stopovers, so I was anxious to discover if the stories you heard were true. 

Remember, this was in the 70's so Times Square was in full swing, not yet cleaned up, and was the place where you could supposedly find any deviant pleasure you might want. I thought I would be able to find a porn shop and restock my supply of porn magazines as the ones I had brought on board from Texas were getting old and stale. I worked the midnight to 8AM shift while on port watch so the first morning when I got off work, after catching a few hours of sleep, I made my way to Times Square via a cab from the docks.

For a while I just walked around marveling at all the sights and sounds of such a wild place. There were bars, clubs, porn shops, movie shops, hookers walking around openly and any other manner of perversion you could possibly imagine. I loved it and was in a constant state of arousal as I walked around. Finally I walked into one of the many porn shops and it was huge compared to the one I had visited in Texas. There were more magazines than I had imagined, covering more types of sexual activity than I had ever thought existed. I was in heaven.

I walked around the store ogling the various titles and photos on the covers. I made mental notes of the ones I would want to take with me when I was done exploring and as I came to the back of the store I saw a door into a dark area that had a sign over it saying movies. I started to walk in and see what was back there when the clerk told me I needed to get at least $5 worth of change to be allowed. I walked over to the counter, got my change and went back and found myself in a place that was amazing. There were dark hallways lined with booths with a little sign on the side of each booth showing which movie was playing. Like in front there were movies covering every kind of sexual activity you could imagine. 

Of course my first thought was to go into one of the booths showing a movie with men blowing other men but I was too nervous about someone knowing what really turned me on. As much as I had loved sucking that man's cock I still was very uncomfortable with the idea that others might know how much I have enjoyed being his cocksucker. I finally picked one that showed two women getting it on and went in. The door closed and had a little latch on it that let you lock it and once I found the coin slot I dropped a quarter in.

A small screen lit up and showed two women engaged in mutual petting and kissing each other. I was instantly hard and as I was in a small locked room went ahead and unzipped and took out my cock and began stroking. I did this until the screen went dark again, after 2 or 3 minutes. I quickly dropped in another quarter and resumed masturbating to the movie. I had used about a bucks worth when a sensed some movement and looked down to see a hole in the wall about 4 inches in diameter and someone was running their fingers along the edge. 

I got very embarrassed and quickly zipped up waiting for the movie to run out so I could leave. Then I heard a man whisper to put my cock thru the hole. To this day I have no idea why I did it. Why I didn't worry about the danger. I just did as he said and took my cock back out and slid it in the hole. I felt him caress it and then quickly take it in his mouth and I no longer cared about anything other than the pleasure he was giving me. I didn't even notice when the movie went dark until someone banged on the door, nearly giving me a heart attack, and yelled to feed the machine or get out. I nervously dropped another quarter and went back to enjoying my first anonymous blow job. 

I felt his lips working up and down my cock taking all of my 6" cock into his mouth. He was talented and quickly brought me to the edge of cumming. I started to pull back and he backed off my cock long enough to tell me to finish in his mouth before taking my throbbing shaft back into deep. Within seconds I was cumming and shooting jet after jet of my cum into his mouth. He stayed with me till the end, never pulling off until I was drained and I pulled out. I was amazed at what had happened but also suddenly scared about being in such a public place doing such a private thing. I zipped up fast and left out of the shop without even stopping to buy the magazines I had looked at earlier. 

I walked down the street, alternating between amazement and fear over what had just happened. I saw a bar and went in and ordered a rum and coke and sat at the bar drinking it in a couple gulps before ordering another. As the liquor worked it's magic I found myself getting hard again thinking about that stranger and how his lips felt engulfing my cock. As I finished my second drink I could not help thinking that I could do what he had done. Go back and find a good moving booth and wait until someone came in and offer to please him the way the stranger had pleased me. After all, did I not love the feel of sucking that man in Texas? Did I not crave to have another cock exploding in my mouth? 

Drink finished I headed back to the porn shop and walked up to the counter, taking out a 10 this time to get change. "That was quick," said the man behind the counter, "You must have enjoyed yourself." I blushed as he handed me my roll of quarters and quickly disappeared into the back and walked along until I found a movie that promised to be two men pleasing a woman and each other. I went in the booth, dropped a quarter and the screen lit up with a close up of a man slipping his lips down a very large cock while a woman watched and held his head. I opened my pants and let them fall to the floor and was soon stroking my again hard cock as I watched.

A few minutes went by and I noticed a light flash from the hole in the wall as the next booth's door open and closed. I heard the coins drop and kneeled down to look thru the hole. All I could see was a man stroking his hard cock. I could not see how old he was, what he looked like, or anything about him other than he was white and had a very hard 7 or 8 inches of cut cock. I dropped several quarters into my booth so I would not be interrupted and then ignored the movie as I stroked my cock and watched the man stroking his. 

Finally I knew I could wait no longer. I was here to suck his cock and show him what a good cocksucker I was so I ran a finger along the edge of the hole. He must have seen as he turned so his cock was pointing at the hole but made no move to put it thru. I ran my finger along the hole again and this time he stepped forward and his hard cock came into my booth. The head was swollen and had a drop of precum on the tip. Shaking slightly I put my hand around only the second cock other than my own I had ever touched and leaned forward and licked the drop off the end of his beautiful cock. I ran my hand slowing up and down his shaft, filled with wonder at how much I loved cock. He just stood with his belly up against the dividing wall holding as much of his cock toward me as he could as I felt and explored his hardness. 

I loved the feel of his cock. Loved that it made mine feel small in comparison. Loved that I was again doing what it seemed I was born to do, please another man. I could resist no longer and leaned forward taking just the head into my mouth. I slowly stroked him as I ran my tongue all over the mushroom head of his cock, tasting again some of his precum. I felt like I was home as I slid my mouth down the length of his cock. I could only get about 5 inches in my mouth because of the wall, but it still was more amazing than any other sex I had ever had. Fucking a woman, getting a blow job, from a man or woman, neither was nearly as exciting as feeling his hardness filling my mouth. 

I sucked him gently at first. My lips working up and down his shaft as I sucked. I placed my hands alongside the hole and took as much cock as I could into my mouth until my lips were pressing against the wall. I held still there for a moment as my tongue worked along the bottom of his shaft. He then began a fucking motion in and out of my mouth. He was fucking my mouth and I loved it. I held my position and let him do the work, using my tongue to caress his skin and my lips to keep the suction up as he fucked my mouth. I realized I was being face fucked. A term I had heard of but never imagined being of the receiving end of. I loved it. 

I felt like such a slut kneeling in a dirty dark booth while a man I had never seen, would never see, used my mouth for his pleasure. I took one of my hands off the wall and reached down and began to stroke my own cock while he continued to fuck my mouth. His strokes began to speed up and I knew it would not be long until he was cumming in my mouth and I could not wait. I wanted his cum. I needed his cum. I would only be complete when his cum was shooting into my slutty mouth.

Suddenly he exploded, with no warning and it was such a large shot of cum that I instinctively pulled back and off his cock. The next two shots of his cum covered my face from my lips to my forehead. I quickly took him back in my mouth and swallowed the rest of his cum until his cock began to soften in my mouth. He pulled out as I leaned back on my heels, using the fingers of my free hand to scoop his cum into my mouth as I stroked my cock until I shot off all over the floor. 

I quickly got myself together, dressed and cum free and left the booth and made my way out front and took several magazines off the shelves over to the counter to buy so I could leave. I had sucked another cock, anonymously and loved it. I was again a cocksucker and loved it. I felt like a slut and loved it. I paid for the magazines and as I was walking out of the store I knew I would be back before the ship sailed. I knew I needed to suck more cock and I loved that I could do it without even knowing who was using me. I had a smile on my face as I made my way back to my ship.