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Did I Make The Cut? Ch. 01

By: naked_llama



Hi! I am the Naked Llama. This is my first ever submission here in Literotica. If you are expecting that this story is going to have gay men going at it like rabbits, FAIL! This is not the story for you. This is the love story of Niclas and Lancelot. So expect more loving, less fucking. Sorry! L to the OL! I hope you have fun reading my story as much as I had fun writing it. Spraying some love!

*

My sleep was interrupted by the annoying shrill of the alarm clock by my bedside table. I reached up to turn the fucking thing off so I could doze off into a deep slumber again. Then two minutes later I suddenly sat up with the realization that today isn't just like any other day.

"Oh shit. I am getting married today. Oh my God. I am getting married today." 

I might have said it out loud because the man lying right beside me stirred and answered with a very sleepy voice.

"We, we are getting married today Niclas." Lancelot moved to face me, cupped my right cheek and pulled me on top of him. "How does it feel that only a few hours from now you would be tied down with me for the rest of your life?" Lancelot asked as he planted a kiss on my lips, he did not care whether I still had a bad morning breath, damn this guy surely is in love with me.

"Nervous as hell Lance, I think I might pass out, or get sick."

Lancelot wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. "Now Niclas, I would not want you passing out or getting sick on me later, I would not want our families and guest to think that I have gotten you pregnant even before our wedding."

"What? They would be fooling themselves if they even think I am still a virgin." And with that Lancelot and I came bursting with laughter.

"We should get up Niclas. I am taking a shower babe, care to join your husband-to-be?" 

"Nah, you go ahead, I will stay in bed a little longer."

"Lazyhead. In case you changed your mind, I will leave the bathroom door open." he said with a knowing smile and wiggled his bushy eyebrows. Lancelot grabbed his blue towel hanging on the chair then turned to walk towards the bathroom.

I know we have been busy and stressed out preparing for this special day months ago but it really had not dawned on me until this morning that this is really happening. I am getting married today. I am getting married to Lancelot Martin Simpson. I am getting married to the man whom I loved more than anything in this world. I am getting married to the man i want to share my life with (and my bed too) for the rest of my life. I know I am beginning to sound stupid and pathetic right now, but you can't really blame me for being so. Everything feels so surreal. I was there when my sister got married. I was there when Jessica, my best friend since high school, got married to Michael. I was there to witness it all but never it had crossed my twisted mind that there would come a time that I would be planning and participating on my own little dream wedding. All my life I made myself surrender to the idea that maybe it was not just meant for me. That maybe I am supposed to be lonely and gay for the rest of my life. I almost gave up a few years ago, until Lancelot came into my stressful yet fashionable life. I must have dozed off again for a few minutes when suddenly I was woken up by Lancelot, lying on top of me, his brown hair still dripping wet from the bath he had just taken. His eyes staring intently, full of love.

"You are so beautiful Niclas, and you are mine."

He leaned down and I met his lips for a kiss, my hands travelled down from his chest to his crotch, and found that he is already hard.

"Well someone here is too excited and can't wait for the honeymoon any longer."

I pushed Lancelot off of me and made him lie on his back. I kissed him again before sliding down to his dripping nine inches. I wrapped my hand around his shaft and stroked it slowly, making his cock leak more pre-cum from his piss hole. I used my tongue to collect the salty liquid from the head before wrapping my lips around his monster cock, enclosing my hands around the base and I heard Lancelot gasp in ecstasy. I continued to pleasure Lancelot with my tongue and mouth, licking every part of his manhood, tasting every inch of it, not missing his round heavy balls. Lancelot opened his eyes to look down on me and smiled at the sight of me giving him head. I continued to suck him then reached for both his hands to place them on my ears, giving Lancelot full control. He tightened his grip on my ears and started to face fuck me hard, pulling all the way out until only the head of his cock remains inside my mouth and pushing back until his cock hits the back of my throat. He was thrashing his hips violently on the bed, his grasp on my head starting to hurt. 

"Niclas, I am coming... oh I love you so much ... here it comes baby... I am coming... Swallow it all... oohh..." 

I felt Lancelot's balls tighten and his shaft stiffen, before filling my mouth loads of his sweet and salty cum with his back arched, head pressed into the pillow and eyes squeezed shut. I swallowed every drop he shot in my mouth and cleaned his limp cock afterwards. I looked up at him to see him grinning foolishly, obviously happy and satisfied. 

"And that is why I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. " He said before pulling me into a hug.

"You want to marry me because I am good at bed?"

"No, that is one of the many reason why I love you. I want to marry you because I love you."

What did I do to possess the love of probably the sweetest (not to mention one of the hottest) guy in the world? I have no idea. 

***************

I knew it was hopeless, and I knew Jessica would keep on evading from answering it, but still I had to know. We were seating by the sewing machine and piles of different types of fabrics, were around us. My tools, papers with design sketches and coloring materials are everywhere. My workroom was a mess, and Jessica and I were friends long enough for her to get used to how disorganized and cluttered my things could get. This is a normal state of my things.

"Hey is this new? I have not seen you wear this one before." referring to my indeed new black and white pullover. 

"Yeah, I bought it last week. Jessica, will you please not change the topic? Answer my question."

"I know you know my answer to that stupid question."

She was doing her best not to answer the simple damn question, sometimes Jessica can be so difficult.

"I'll treat you for lunch today..."

"Jessica, you aren't going to bribe your way out of this conversation."

"I don't like him. End of discussion Niclas." Jessica is the sweetest girl I have ever met, but when it comes to the guys I date, she turns into a totally different person. 

"Why? Give me a good reason why you think Calvin is not the right guy for me?"

"I simply don't like him." Jessica said with a matching fake smile she usually does when she is trying to be patient with me. How dare her to have the nerve to act like that.

"Well I think you're just jealous."

Jessica tried not to laugh but she miserably failed.

"I beg your pardon? Eww. That is blasphemous and you know it."

"Jessica just admit it. You have the hots for me ever since and you can't just make your moves on me because you know I would not reciprocate." I said with so much conviction even if we both know that this is a lie. And impossible.

" Niclas. Shut up. That is just gross. You know very well that I am very much willing to sleep next to you but not with you." Just as Jessica was about to make an exit, I asked her again.

"Why don't you like Calvin?" 

Jessica turned to face me, walked a few steps towards me and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Because I don't think he loves you as much as you love him Niclas, how many guys you have dated before have treated you that way? Certainly not that many, but Calvin is definitely just like them."

"How can you say that? You don't even know the guy. You hated him since the day you met him."

"Trust me I know. I tried to like him, but I can't. Only I will be happy if you find a guy who loves you more than anything in this world." Then she looked around. "Go back to work honey, we still have lots of designs to finish. You would not want the witch to be mad at you for the millionth time this week. "

As Jessica turned to leave my workroom, Christian, the intern, went in to deliver the buttons, threads and zippers I have asked him to buy for me. He too left soon after letting me be so I can finish my designs and leaving me to reel in my own thoughts. The witch Jessica was pertaining about is our boss, Charlotte Worth, a top fashion designer who honed her craft many years in Paris, France before deciding to open up a line here in LA. Jessica and I are working for her as design assistants. More like as her slaves to be honest. Looks can be deceiving you know, she might not give off that certain arrogance fashion people tend to have on the outside, but she is one mean, spiteful, cruel one hell of a slave driver on the inside. You would not dare to see her lash out in anger. But in spite of all that, I love my job. I love fashion, what gay guy doesn't? But Jessica keeps on insisting that it isn't fashion and clothes that interests me, that it was the male models. Not true. 

I was already adding life to my sketches with the use of my colored pencils, a gift from Calvin last Christmas, when my phone rang. I had the difficulty of locating where the fucking cell phone was in the heap of clutter that surrounded my work area, but eventually I found it before the caller on the other end of the phone hang up.

"What took you so long to answer the goddamned phone? "It was Calvin, and he was pissed. I started to mumble an apology but he cut me off saying that my lame excuses do not interest him. 

"Anyway I called to say I won't be able to go to dinner with you tonight, something came up. Work. I really have to stay late in the office to finish some... stuff."

Calvin had cancelled our dinner date for the seventh time this month. This dinner was supposed to make up for the one he missed three days ago, which was also supposed to make up for the one he missed last week. I took a deep breath before speaking back. "Okay... It's okay Calvin. I understand."

"Is it baby?" I wanted to tell him the truth. I wanted to tell him how bad I felt that moment. I wanted to tell him that I am starting to feel like I am not his priority anymore. But with an economy in times like this, I totally understood why he has to work his ass off and get the promotion he had always wanted. He said it was for our future.

"Yeah, it's fine." I lied.

"Okay baby. Bye."

"I love you." he did not respond. Calvin already hung up.

After a long day at work, I decided that I wasn't even hungry anymore so I skipped dinner and went straight to bed. I was lying alone in bed when I realized that Calvin and I have not slept together for two weeks now. This was rare, because Calvin is definitely insatiable when it comes to sex. Something is up. I can't point out it yet, but I knew something is wrong.

*******************

"Oh yes Calvin... harder... fuck me harder..." I moaned in satisfaction as Calvin pumped his thick 7 inch cock into my ass harder and faster. It has been two weeks since we last did this so i was not in the mood for slow and gentle lovemaking. I wanted it as rough and hard as it can get and Calvin happily obliged to do so.

"Yeah baby take my cock. That's it baby clench that tight ass of yours. Your ass feels so good...." Calvin continued to fuck me on my bed while he was stroking my hard cock at the same time. I knew I would not last long and after five more strokes of my cock with his hand, I came so hard that I thought I was going to lose my consciousness. It felt so damn good.

Calvin just kept on fucking me and tried to hold his orgasm at bay, and came after a minute or so, filling my hole with his slimy manjuice. Then it hit me. Calvin did not use a condom. It's not like he isn't clean, but I don't let a guy, anyone, even my own boyfriend fuck me bareback.

The panic obviously showed on my face because Calvin was apologizing shortly after.

"I am sorry baby, I know you don't like being taken bareback. If you have not looked so sexy and tempting this morning, I would never got carried away and never had forgotten to put a rubber on."

He said this as he pulled me to his chest and covered my mouth with his. I pulled back to look at him.

"It's okay Calvin, it's not like you are fucking around my back." He suddenly tensed with the last part of my sentence.

"It's only you Niclas, no one else." As he stroked my cheek and planted another kiss on my lips.

"What time did you get home last night Cal?" 

"Around midnight I guess. I don't have any idea. I was too tired to care." he kissed me again, wanting to evade much prodding from me.

"I missed you Cal. We rarely see nowadays. We rarely fuck too."

"I know baby, but I got to work really really hard. For us." 

"I am not asking that much. I pretty much content of what we have." Calvin suddenly pushed me away and propped himself up with his elbows. He stared at me for a few seconds before sitting up on the edge of our bed and turning his back from me to put his underwear on.

"I have dreams you know." He stated and I clearly noticed the change of tone of his voice.

I sat up beside him and took his hands in mine. I looked up at his handsome face, his blue green eyes that was staring back at me, those perfect pouty lips I love to kiss, his dark hair a mess from our early morning fuck. "I love you Calvin."

I was expecting an answer coming from him when both of our cell phones coincidentally rang at the same time. He reached for both our phones over the bedside drawer and handed my phone to me. He stood up and walked out of our bedroom to answer his phone. I looked at the caller ID, Jessica. 

"Where on this freaking polluted and over populated earth are you?!"

"I am at home, on my bedroom, supposedly enjoying the afterglow of an early morning sex when you interrupted Calvin and me from it. And good morning to you too Jessica."

"Niclas, I do not care if you had just hot monkey sex with that boyfriend of yours, and definitely Charlotte would not give a damn either. Get your well fucked ass up here.NOW!"

I was suddenly taken aback with her screaming at me. Jessica usually does that when she is stressed. And when you're working for Charlotte Worth, stressed is what you'll feel most of the time.

"Okay okay just relax will you. What's the rush?" I asked because I totally have no clue of why Jessica was so agitated this early in the morning.

"Oh my god Niclas, he did fuck the brains out of you this time. I would pretend you did not ask that. Get here as quick as you can. Bye."

After my conversation with Jessica over the phone ended, I grabbed my towel and headed to take a bath. As I got inside the bathroom, I was contemplating on what was happening down the shop today that I obviously had forgotten or simply I was not informed or made aware of. I cannot remember if there was a photo shoot for a campaign ad scheduled for today. Do we need to change the store windows already? We just did that a couple of weeks ago. Most definitely not a fashion show, because if there was, I would not get a chance of a good night sleep last night. It would have been a busy night for all of us. Maybe a big client is going to visit the shop. Or maybe the witch just wanted to ruin our day. 

"Baby, are you in the shower?"

"No Calvin, I am in the kitchen. Just kidding. Of course, I am in the shower. Isn't obvious?"I smiled as Calvin slipped into the shower with me, pulling me into his arms and kissing me full on the lips. I can feel him rubbing his raging hard on between my legs and humping my cock until it was fully erect. I slid my hands down to encircle his seven inch cock and gave it a few strokes. He then turned me around from him and inserted a finger up my ass.

"Baby, I need to be inside you." Calvin panted into my ears and tongue fucked the insides of my ears after. I was moaning in pleasure as he continued to finger my hole with the middle finger if his right hand while stroking my dick with the left. I was about to let lust take me away when I realized I have no time for another round of fucking and that I needed to get to the shop because they need me there. I still have no idea why this early, but they need me there.

"Calvin... oh shit... i... can't.... oh yeah do that again... I mean no Cal... no... stop..."

"Stop what Niclas? This?" Calvin suddenly pulled his finger out from my tunnel then quickly replaced it with his drooling cock in one hard shove.

"Oh Calvin... please... I have to get to the shop... oh yeah Calvin... Oh you're so big..." 

"Not until I had my wicked way with you baby. I am going to fuck you so hard. I am going to assault this tight, hot butt of yours until it hurts."

I tried, but I miserably failed to fight the temptation of having Calvin's hard man rod up my hungry ass. He impaled me with his cock and when he was close he made me suck his dick. The other thing I did not like to do during sex besides a guy taking me without a condom on (which Calvin did for the second time this morning) is when a guy comes inside my ass. I simply don't like it.

He came into my mouth and filled it with spoonfuls of his cum. There was so much of it that I can't swallow it all until some of Calvin's cum started to dribble from my lips. I was still hard but I refused Calvin's offer of helping me out of it because I was really, really running late already. 

"Jessica is going to kill me." I told Calvin as I was getting dressed. Usually I need at least an hour to pick out and plan what I was going to wear to work, but today I settled for an old black statement shirt, a pair of white skinny jeans and my favorite pair of Converse. The one in apple green. Then I grabbed my black pinstriped jacket. Calvin hates fashion. He hates how much of a big deal it is for me when picking out what I will wear for the day. He hates how much money I spend on my clothes. But hey, I am a fashion designer, I am supposed to look fashionable.

"I'll drive you to work Niclas." 

"No Calvin, you don't have too. Besides, you are running late as well." I told him while checking out my reflection on the mirror. My outfit was simple, bordering to boring, but I look good. 

"It's okay baby. And besides, Jessica would not able to kill you if I am there with you." he said with a knowing smile. Calvin was aware that Jessica does not like him. Because Jessica made sure Calvin knows. 

"Hell yeah she couldn't." 

*****************

Calvin drove me all the way to the shop and spotted a not-so-pleased Jessica standing by the side road. She was pissed. All hell would definitely break loose once Calvin is out of sight. Calvin hugged me goodbye and gave me a light peck on the lips before letting me get out of his car. He greeted Jessica before driving away from the two of us but in her furious and annoyed state she only snapped back at him. Poor Calvin. 

"Be nice to the guy. I love him." I know she has all the right to get mad at me for being late, and for not remembering whatever I should remember, but she has no right to treat my boyfriend like that.

"You are late! You are an hour and fifty two minutes late! We are working in the fashion industry Niclas, time is everything, you should know better than that. And what's up with the shirt? You think that statement shirt will save you? "

Blah.blah.blah. I blocked out my best friend's annoying voice for a while and thought that maybe she will be happier if "I love you Jessica" was written all over my shirt instead of "Better late than never". Yeah I know, even my shirt was pathetic. I opened the door to the shop and immediately froze to the sight of male models waiting by the lounge area of the shop. And these aren't just male models, they were all strikingly gorgeous, attractive and six feet tall of perfection. I was about to back away and head straight out the door when Jessica blocked my way and shoving me towards the male models. Now I remember. Two weeks ago Charlotte talked to me about having a go-see for male models for an upcoming catalog of our new designs for next year. She assigned me to handle this go-see, because for one she can't be there due to a pre-scheduled commitment she has in London, and because she thinks I was the most appropriate and ideal for this job. Yeah right. Give it to the gay guy.


Did I Make The Cut? Ch. 01



"Stop drooling will you." Jessica whispered to my ear.

"Why didn't you remind me about this yesterday? Or you could have at least told me over the phone." I am totally embarrassed with the fact that models were earlier than me, no they weren't just early, I was late. I could see Charlotte killing me right now. 

"I did remind you about this yesterday, apparently you were not paying attention."

"And why do we need to have this go-see as early as this? We could have moved it after lunch."

"Too late for that now, they are here. I already prepared the other office upstairs. Go do your thing." Jessica said this while she was pulling me upstairs.

"Do... Do my thing?"I am about to have a major nervous breakdown at the moment. I think I am going to fall in a faint while doing this. Hot guys make me feel very uncomfortable you know.

"Yeah your thing. You were the one who sits in with Charlotte during go-sees, and the last time she entrusted me with this task, she ended up on shrieking at me how she wanted to hire someone who looked like Noah Mills, not someone from Noah's ark." I sort of smiled with the last part of her sentence, as I remembered how she ended up hiring an overly hairy baboon instead of a top model.

"Niclas, she obviously does not trust me with this stuff after that incident, so it's up to you darling. And just a reminder, avoid hiring anyone who seemed to have any resemblance to something you'll find inside Noah's ark, or Charlotte will be pissed."  

"Jessica just get the hell out of here, let's get this started already, we can't make those male models wait all day." Models are always on the go, from one go-see to another, and I silently cursed myself for causing delay to their busy schedules.

Let the go-sees begin.

*******************

The door swerved open, the first male model with a long blonde hair that falls on to his shoulders moves into the office, introduces himself, shakes my hand and hands me his portfolio. I browsed through his photographs, placed his portfolio over the table and stood up to let him try some of our designs, then took some Polaroid shots of him. Christian was there to assist too. Damn the first model looks good, he had those pretty blue eyes with long lashes that seem to stare me intently every time I spoke to him. Thin pinkish lips he habitually bites and licks with his tongue before opening his mouth to talk. And when he took off his shirt to try one of our polo shirts, revealing a smooth torso with an abs to die for, I had to stop myself from salivating. I know I was not supposed to lust for these models, because this is work-related, and I swear to God that I tried my best not to think of sinful thoughts about them, but my dick wasn't listening. It wanted to GO right out of my pants for the hot male models parading in and out of the room to SEE. As the first male model bid goodbye, I sighed to myself that there is no way I can hire him for he is too pretty for Charlotte's taste.

The second guy came in and when I looked up to greet him I immediately knew that I also can't hire him, he had too many tattoos all over his arms. It wasn't a bad thing, honestly I find the guy's ink suited his look appealingly. Besides lately there are more and more fashion designers who use models like Cole Mohr (and the infamous "AprilMayJune" tattoo across his chest) and Josh Beech with tattoos all over their bodies for print ads and runways. But Charlotte is disgusted with tattoos, she hated it, often called it as vandalism and cannot stand it when somebody calls it as art. "Art is found hanging on the walls of a museum, not on somebody's skin." she would say. As I watch the second male model leave I told myself that he was not unattractive, but too ruggedly handsome for Charlotte's taste. 

The third male model was classically handsome, just like Ben Hill, but I had to turn him down too because his look, according to Charlotte, is two springs ago. I have watched her do this many times already that I already knew what she wants and what she is looking for in a model.

The fourth was okay but too thin, he could actually fit on the clothes made for ladies to wear. I find it amusing that anorexic male models also existed. 

The fifth was overly muscular, the types you would see grace the runways of Versace or Dolce and Gabbana, but Charlotte wanted cut and lean, not a gym instructor. 

The sixth was a dark haired Brazilian named Adriano. He came in wearing a red v-neck shirt that showed a little hint of chest hair and a pair of very tight denim pants. I would label this guy as hot, as hot as Evandro Soldati, Edilson Nascimento, Arthur Sales, Marlon Texeira and all the Brazilian male models out there. Even Christian who obviously seemed to be eyeing the Brazilian model in a different way would surely agree with my verdict. But definitely for Charlotte this Hispanic hunk would get a not.  

The seventh guy who came in was a seventeen year old blonde, reminded me of River Viiperi with his charming looks and drool worthy body. Seventeen is actually a good age to start if you would like to pursue a career in modeling, but still I could not hire him. Why? Because my boss is crazy. She said she does not want to hire "minors". 

Male model number eight was black. No, Charlotte is not racist. She would even hire Tyson Beckford or David Agbodgi if she wanted to. But she was not interested in hiring a black model at the moment.

Model number nine was a ginger head with a sprinkle of freckles across his cheeks. Charlotte would not mind his freckles, but the new collection is mostly made of different shades of green. He will surely look like a six foot Leprechaun from Ireland.

Model number ten has bad skin and model number eleven has bad breath. It's not like he is going to model for a brand of toothpaste or mouthwash (and he can really use one), but who would want to work with a model who you could not even hold a conversation with because of the terrible smell coming from his mouth?

Model numbers twelve, thirteen and fourteen went out of the room and still I had not yet hired anyone for that damn catalog. Christian excused himself and went out of the room to use the bathroom. I was ready to give up already, I leaned back on the chair, thrown my head back and covered my face with my hands when someone opened the door and went inside the room. I thought it was Jessica and was about to say a stupid yet funny comment about how the day went, when I was suddenly interrupted and startled by a voice coming from a guy. Just when I thought the day was over, male model number fifteen appears. I stood up to greet him and gripped his hand with a handshake when I noticed that he was looking at me strangely while studying my face. I tried to pull my hand away from his tight grip but he wouldn't let go.

"Niclas?" he asked me. Still holding my right hand.

"Yeah... do I know you?" I had no clue who this guy was but he definitely looks familiar. He is definitely not one of my ex-lovers, definitely not a fuck buddy because I never had one. Is he a brother of a friend? Or a boyfriend of a friend? If then, which one of my friends is it? My train of thoughts was interrupted when he spoke again.

"It's me Lancelot. Lancelot Simpson." he smiled at me. A smile that lighted up his face and brought sparkles in his eyes. 

LANCELOT MARTIN SIMPSON. No freaking way. The last time I saw him was six years ago, during our high school graduation. And after that, I really did not care whether I would see him again. We were never close, I did not even consider him one of my friends back then to be honest, but since we have a few friends in common, most of the time we find ourselves hanging out together.

"Lancelot! Oh wow, it has been a long time. How are you?" 

"I am doing great. I didn't know you work here." He was still beaming that smile that could make girls and gay guys weak in the knees.

"I didn't know you model. That's why you were here right?" I asked him then I realized that he was still holding my hand. "Can I have my hand back?"

He must not have noticed it because he suddenly lets go of my hand and murmured an apology while his face was turning into different shades of red. I smiled at the thought that suddenly this guy in front of me was shy and blushing. "How cute" I thought to myself.

Lancelot was this basketball jock who was cool enough to be seen hanging out with any type of student at school. Today he would hang out with his basketball team mates and the next day he will be seen spending time with a geek from his Chemistry class. Then the next day you would see him joking around with Drama Club kids and then the next with the girls from the school cheering squad. He was very friendly, okay too friendly and borderline flirty. He had every guy in school wanting his company. He had every girl wet and drooling. He had every gay guy lusting and with a massive hard on. But no, I was not one of them. I never wanted his attention. He can strut his six feet four inches of muscled gorgeousness and awesomeness all over the campus for all I care. It's not that I don't find his silky light brown hair, bushy eye brows, piercing stare, olive skin, soft and sensuous lips and the goatee that adorned his chin unattractive, it's just that I don't want to want what half of the school population wants. It was like a trend, and I despise trends. Disregard trends, according to Carson Kressley's Ten Fashion Commandments.

"Yes I am here for the go-see. Here's my portfolio." He handed his portfolio over tome and went on to browse through each and every single photograph of him in it. I was pretty much impressed by his portfolio, not only he had good looks, not only he was naturally photogenic, but he can model. He looks like the Brazilian model Rafael Verga, only he had blue eyes. As I turned to the last part, I was shocked to see a nude photo of Lancelot seating on a wooden chair, with a look on the face that I could not distinguish whether if it was of pain or pleasure, exposing everything, I mean everything he has got. Lancelot is packed. His dick might be flaccid on the picture but it was huge. 

"Like what you see?" Lancelot was giving me again that smile that can light up the whole room. That smile never had an effect on me before when we were still in high school, but for some reason, it now has. 

"Uhm, no... I mean, you are very photogenic. And I like that. I mean that's what I want. I mean what we want."I just did not stutter. What the hell is wrong with me? I then started to feel uneasy around his presence.

"So... does that mean I got the job?" he looked down on his shoes, looked back up again then winked at me. Or was it just my mind playing tricks on me?

"Wait, you still need to try some of our clothes on then take a picture of you after."

"Then I'll get the job?"He was teasing me and enjoying every moment of it.

I shrugged at his question and walked towards to the pile of clothes hanging from the rack. I pulled out a long sleeved, French cuffed button down shirt in bright orange with cut out details in the front. (I know the color is ridiculous and I have no idea why we are selling this piece of garment in that color) and an olive green cords to go with it. I handed it to him and Lancelot gave me a weird look before taking it from me and out the door to change. I know I am a fashion designer so stop scowling at me for giving the guy hideous and mismatched clothes. I don't know why but for some reason I was determined to make him look like a carrot. And when he returned to the room, he indeed looked like a carrot, one handsome carrot that I'd gladly munch away. 

"I look like a carrot." 

"I know." I gently pushed him towards the white wall behind him and took pictures of him.



Did I Make The Cut? Ch. 02



The Naked Llama is back and guilty of making his readers wait for the second chapter. I'm so sorry for making you wait for a long time. Spraying some love to y'all!




"Remember the time that you made me look like a carrot?"Lancelot asked me while I was arranging his bowtie for him, scowling at me. How could I ever forget that day? It was almost three years ago since that day Lancelot went to the store I was working at for a go-see. He was a male model while I was an assistant to a 46 year old fashion designer named Charlotte. It was a stressful Friday at work that led me to running into someone I knew back in high school, and to this day. 

"You enjoy making me look ridiculous."

"Ridiculously handsome Lancelot" as I try for the hundredth time that day to convince him that the suit I and Jessica designed for him looks good on him. He wanted a simple black tuxedo, but being the fashion designer that I am, I did not want boring, and a plain black tux on our wedding day is boring. 

Lancelot and I had many arguments over what we were going to wear on our wedding day. If I had it my way, I would have wanted my entire wedding entourage to look like they just came from the runways of a John Galliano Men's fall 2009 fashion show. That fashion show had featured pirates, armed revolutionaries in tricornes and dramatic, double-breasted, Revere collar coats, some embroidered with gold oak leaves. A half-man, half-goat half-dressed in couture-like feathered pants, washed leather jackets. With the six-pack abs painted on their torso. It was John Galliano's interpretation of Puck from Shakespeare's Midsummer Night Dream. And Beau Brummel-inspired dandies modeled dramatic formal wear including lushly embroidered coats and a silk shirt with an attached cape. I would love my wedding to be extravagant and over the top that Lady Gaga can easily fit in. Imagine being inside an alien-ish egg shaped capsule and carried by our wedding entourage instead of just walking down the aisle. Coolest wedding ever. Lancelot said that there is no way he would be wearing that much amount of make up outside his work as a model. When I asked him that if he wanted something inspired from Vivienne Westwood instead, he got irritated and I ended up on bed in all fours being fucked senseless.

We finally decided (or should I say I decided, and then Lancelot just went with it) that since he does not want anything too flamboyant, we settled for casual-sophisticate aesthetic. I made many sketches using black, rich reds and toxic pinks ranging in hue.

"I look gay."

"Lancelot, you are gay."

Before he can even respond to what I said Jessica opened the door and came rushing to our bedroom. She was wearing a short, tight hot pink dress that she designed herself, and white high heels, very reminiscent of 80's fashion. She paused to look at Lancelot from head to toe and told him that he indeed looked good, before turning towards me and hugged me very tight, dropping her purse down to the bedroom floor.

"Niclas! Congratulations! Who would have thought I will live to see this day!"

"Yeah. I thought happily ever afters are only meant for straight people. " I pulled away from her arms and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"That's bullshit, and you know it."

Jessica has been my best friend ever since high school. We were born on the same day, on the same year. We have the same taste in music (we love the Irish band The Script and the synthpop band Cobra Starship. I find their lead vocalist Gabe Saporta very sexy). We are fans of the hit reality show Survivor but would not dare to try out for the show because we hate camping out. We both hate zombie-infested flicks because we end up having nightmares being chased by a mob of undead freaks. And most of all, we love fashion, that's why we ended up going to a fashion school together in New York, and both got hired by Charlotte to work for her after graduating. I would never wish for a life without Jessica in it. Even if she drives me crazy sometimes. No, scratch that, every time.

"And as for you," turning to face Lancelot "Thank you for making my best friend the happiest gay guy in the world right now."

"It's a hard task but someone has got to do it you know. I'll go ahead babe, see you at the wedding." He reached out to pull me from Jessica's arms and pulled me in his, then planted a kiss on my lips after.

Lancelot left the room leaving me with Jessica who can't seem to wipe off that stupid grin on her face.

"Are you ready Niclas?"

"I am nervous Jess. What if I mess up my lines or forget Lancelot's name? What if I fall with my face first while walking down the aisle? What if Lancelot suddenly realizes he doesn't want to get married to me and leave me standing at the altar? That happens in the movies sometimes." I totally felt like a ball of nerves about to explode any moment now.

"Just relax will you? You are going to do great and nothing will ever go wrong. I'm so happy for you Niclas. I'm glad you finally found someone who truly loves you. After dating a bunch of assholes and a douche bag, it's a good thing you ended up with someone like Lance."

"I know. I can't still believe that this is actually happening. Tell me that this is for real, that I'm not dreaming. Oww!"

While I was babbling away I did not notice that Jessica took two steps towards me to slap the back of my head. 

"Did you feel that?"

"Hell yeah I did! Do you really need to hit me that hard? That hurts!"

"Good. That only proves that you are wide awake and you're not in a dream. You are getting married to one of the hottest male model in the fashion industry. The most wonderful man you ever had. You are one lucky bitch!"

She was right. As much as I hate to admit it, Jessica was always right. Lancelot loves me. He chose me and now he is waiting at the church for me because he wants to spend the rest of his days with me.

I sighed and sank down on the edge of the bed, pulling Lancelot's pillow and wrapping my arms tightly around it. Taking in the smell of the man I love from his pillow. "How did I get so lucky?"

"Thanks to me darling. Thanks to me." Jessica stated while patting both of my shoulders. I smiled at her. Jessica took a lot of credit to herself and reminded me a lot of times that if wasn't for her, I would not have Lancelot in my life. I was left with no choice but to agree with her.

***************

He got the job. Lancelot Simpson was booked for the catalog. The witch Charlotte picked him after I sent her thru email the pictures, some info and my reviews about the male model s that went on the go-see. I was getting ready to go to sleep when she called me all the way from London to tell me that she liked two models in particular, and asked me to contact their agencies and the photographer right away. I was surprised that she decided to hire the Brazilian model Adriano, and very pleased to find out that she liked Lancelot too. I was looking forward to see Lancelot again and to be able to work with an old friend. She even noticed Lancelot's clothes on his test shots and she reminded me not to make him look like a carrot again. 

"Who was that?" Calvin asked.

"It's my boss Calvin."

"The witch eh? Why did she call you this late in the evening?" He was lying naked on our bed, his legs spread while slowly stroking his already hard dick with his right hand. 

"She wanted me to call some male models to inform them that they got booked for the job. I'll do it first thing in the morning." I placed my cell phone down on the bedside table and stripped down to my boxers before joining Calvin on our bed. I straddled his legs, pulled his hand away from his cock and replaced it with my hand. I gave it a few strokes before licking its head, tasting his pre-cum.

"I hoped that job that they are going to get from you is not the kind of job I love getting from you." I couldn't tell if he was only joking because I noticed a hint of jealousy from his words.

"How many times am I going to tell you that I'm not fucking the male models we hire?" 

Calvin hates my job. Calvin hates fashion. Calvin hates male models. He thinks every male model I work with is going to steal me from him. He even punched a male model with blonde curly locks named Benjamin on the backstage of one of our past runway shows when he tried to surprise me by visiting me at work. I was just talking to the guy when suddenly he appeared out of nowhere and punched Benjamin on his left jaw, knocking him down to the floor. Benjamin tried to fight back but the other male models and the security personnel of the show had already interfered and stopped the two of them from kicking each other's butts. I was so embarrassed by the whole fiasco caused by my boyfriend. Calvin did not even apologize to the guy and I felt sorry for him for getting punched on his "money maker". Charlotte almost fired me because of that incident and promised her that such thing will never happen again. Yeah, Calvin is a D-bag sometimes.

Calvin grabbed my head and increased his grip on my hair. He pulled me down roughly to his crotch, my face is level with his throbbing dick. He wrapped his free left hand around the base of his cock and slapped my face with it. He yanked my head back a little further and rubbed the head of his 7 inch cock on my lips. He arched his lower body trying to get the head of his cock into my mouth.

"Convince me."

I knew exactly what to do to convince him, I enclosed my mouth around its head and swirled my tongue, licking its tip and washing it with my spit. I reached up to Calvin's mouth and made him suck two of my fingers, before lifting and pulling his ass apart and pushing both fingers in his tight sphincter. I slowly fingered his hole, retreating a bit then entering more deeply. Then I wrapped my other hand around his thickness, jacking him off. When he moaned I looked up to see his eyes tightly shut, his left hand now on his chest, playing with his nipples. Calvin was still holding my head in place, urging me to take his cock deeper in my mouth, to fingerfuck him faster, but I didn't. I maintained my slow pace instead and grinned with his cock in my lips when he pushed back against me, trying to take my fingers deeper.

"Faster babe, make me come."

I stood up slowly, letting go of his cock from my mouth. "Where's your manners babe? Say please."

"Please." He breathed.

"I can't hear you."

"PLEASE!"

I obliged and violently slid my fingers in and out of his ass and went back to his cockhead, increasing the suction I was applying this time as I masturbated him in rough and rapid motions. My cheeks hollowed while my tongue pressed behind the head.

"Harder baby, harder!"

Since it was what he wanted, that's what I gave him. I sucked, finger fucked, and wanked him harder. Calvin raised his head from his pillow and closed his eyes tightly. He yelled as he reached his climax, cried out my name and came hard. His cock spurting his release into my mouth, down to my throat, his ass clenching around my fingers. When his orgasm subsided Calvin fell back on the bed, and after a few minutes he was fast asleep, leaving me awake and horny as hell. I went to sleep dissatisfied and woke up the next day with a morning wood, still hard and horny from last night. Calvin passed out on me after an intense orgasm and failed to return the favor for me. I reached out to his side of the bed, hoping to finally getting relief, but he was already gone for work. Too early for work. 

***************

Early Monday morning I found myself waiting for Jessica and the male models to arrive on the set of the photo shoot for our catalog. Isaac, the photographer and Charlotte's ex-husband was already on set, reading the newspaper and drinking his coffee. They had a divorce two years ago and remained as friends after. He is now married to a pretty brunette who is the same age as their youngest daughter. Actually she was their youngest daughter's best friend. How sick is that?

Christian was early too and looked very fashionable today in his black and white garb and quirky shoes with purple shoelaces. He was checking all the clothes on the rack that we will be using for the shoot, making sure we didn't forget anything we would need, while talking to Donna. Donna is our resident make-up artist and she is over-accessorized as always. Bangles, bracelets, rings, necklaces, chokers, earrings, belts, hairclips, ribbons are everywhere. I have no idea how she is able to do her job with all those accessories all over her body.

Jessica arrived and the two male models followed shortly after. Lancelot walked towards me and greeted me with a big, sweet smile on his face.

"How's your weekend Niclas?"

He absolutely looked delicious today. He was wearing a white shirt that is sinfully too tight, showing off his bulging muscles and a pair of equally tight jeans. His hair was a mess and all over the place but he still looked very handsome. I turned all shades of red when Lancelot noticed that I was staring at him.

"Like what you see babe?"

What the hell? He didn't just call me babe. He is starting to get over confident and assuming again.

"Lancelot Simpson. You know what they say about assuming too much. It makes an ASS of YOU and ME. No, I don't like what I see and I'm not interested at you at all." I lied. I was totally sporting a hard on right now with just a sight of him.

"He turned you down man!"Adriano was standing beside him, smiling.

"I can change his mind Adriano. Let me take you out for dinner tonight Niclas."

Sure! I would love to.

"l... I... I can't Lancelot."

"You can't or you won't?" he was obviously disappointed that I refused his offer to take me out for dinner. I was not able to answer his question and tell him the truth because Isaac had already called them to get the photo shoot started. He walked away from me and went straight to Donna and Christian to get him ready. I like him, I am attracted to him. But having these feelings towards Lancelot is considered cheating and being unfaithful to my boyfriend Calvin. 

The shoot went on perfectly. Lancelot and Adriano were both good models and they produced stunning and breath taking photographs. They worked and modeled the clothes very well and I can see Charlotte in my mind smiling when she sees both their films after and would definitely be satisfied at the outcome. I have the feeling she might hire those two gorgeous guys to model for her again. Jessica noticed that I was strangely silent all throughout the day and asked what was bothering me. Jessica is my best friend. I had to tell her the truth.

"Lancelot asked me out. I refused his offer"

"What? Why didn't you say yes?"

Jessica had lost her mind. She had forgotten that I have a boyfriend. Or maybe she was too stubborn to acknowledge that I have one. She hates Calvin to death that she totally refused to believe that he exists.

"Are you kidding me? I have a boyfriend."

"Oh that D-bag? You turned down Lancelot for someone like that? Calvin isn't even worth it darling."

Lancelot and Jessica were close friends during high school. They already knew each other even before Jessica and I became best friends. 

"Are you freaking crazy Jess? You are asking me to cheat on my boyfriend and probably break his heart because of this!" 

"He obviously had broken yours already."

I was surprised by what she said. 

"What do you mean?"

"I am your best friend Niclas, you can't lie to me. I know you're not happy with him anymore."

She was right. She was always right. I tried to ignore it at first and refused to believe it was happening. I seemed to be falling out of love with Calvin. The growing attraction I have for Lancelot making that process faster. Technically speaking I am still in a relationship with him. Going out with someone else besides him is cheating. Cheating is bad. Cheating is wrong. 

***************

Calvin was supposed to take me out to dinner tonight, but he cancelled. Again. He called me after we wrapped up the shoot telling me he had to work late. Again. He said that he will just make it up to me tomorrow and hang up on me without even saying "I love you" back. Again. These habits he was starting to develop didn't go unnoticed by me and was added to the long list of reasons of why I am starting to fall out of love with him. Jessica said she has to go home early tonight and can't join me for dinner. Now I am hungry, and alone. I walked out of the studio to go somewhere to eat and noticed Christian and Adriano talking just outside the building. I was about to walk towards them to bid goodbye when suddenly Adriano leaned down and kissed Christian on his lips.

"Don't disturb them, Adriano and your friend are busy."

I turned to see Lancelot behind me, his face blank and the tone of his voice expressionless.

"Jessica told me you've changed your mind."

Changed my mind? When the hell did I change my mind? The next time I see Jessica I would definitely be reminding her that she is a fashion designer, not some matchmaker.

"What? No, she was just joking. You know Jessica, she loves to pull pranks on others."

"Yeah whatever."

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to his car. I struggled to get free from his hand but his grip was too tight. I was starting to get a little freaked out by Lancelot's actions.

"Lancelot let me go! You're hurting me!" 

Lancelot stopped walking and reluctantly let my hand break free from his death grip. He took a deep breath before proceeding to speak.

"Look Niclas, I'm just asking you to come eat dinner with me. That's all I'm asking from you. I have no plans of taking you home with me and have hot and wonderful sex all night long, though I would love that but no, it's just a dinner."

He took three more steps to his car and looked back at me to ask me if I was coming. I was hesitant at first but I said yes.

***************

Lancelot brought me to an Italian restaurant a few blocks away from the location of our shoot. Calvin and I had been here a lot of times before and the food they serve here tastes heavenly. Lancelot remained silent and only opened his mouth when the handsome blonde waiter took our orders. He was staring at me while waiting for our food to arrive. His stare was so intense and I definitely saw a mix of desire and longing in his perfect blue eyes. It was intimidating and at the same time I was starting to get really pissed off with his silent treatment. I couldn't take it any longer.

"Is this your idea of having a good time?"

He smiled. Damn that perfect smile of his. "I'm having a good time."

Stop flirting with me! I am close, this close, so fucking close to forgetting about being faithful to Calvin and just giving in to this six feet four inches temptation seating across the table. 

"How long have you been modeling?" Right. Maybe diverting our conversation to another topic will help ease the tension between the two of us.

"I started when I was eighteen. My then boyfriend who works for a modeling agency introduced me to his boss, and that same agency signed me "

Whoa! Rewind and freeze. Did he say boyfriend? He did! Great, just great. He's gay too. I got so distracted and zoned out for a while that I didn't hear what he was saying.

"I said I always knew you would be working for the fashion industry."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You were always the stylish one when we were still in high school. You have no idea how you were able to turn people's heads in school with your clothes. Instead of books, you have Vogue magazines in your bag. I would always see you in the library sketching designs instead of reading. You designed and created Jessica's prom dress. I'm sure everyone had no doubts what career path you were going to take."

Nothing I haven't heard before but this coming from him, it surprised me. I had no idea he had noticed me and paid this much of attention on me before. Nobody cared about my existence when we were in high school to the point that nobody even tried bullying me. The conversation between us went on all throughout the dinner but I still haven't told him I have a boyfriend, and I didn't want to lie to this guy. 




Did I Make The Cut? Ch. 02



"Lancelot, I have something to tell you...."

Then a loud crash interrupted us. One of the waiters decided to be clumsy and accidentally tripped when he passed our table to bring an order to the table behind Lancelot. He spilled all the food on Lancelot's shirt and some on his hair and neck. Talk about the waiter's impeccable timing eh?

"I'm so sorry sir, here let me help you clean up."

Lancelot was not mad about it. He was surprisingly calm and still smiling even if he has pasta sauce on his white shirt. Now he looked more delicious.

"No it's okay. I have an extra shirt in my car."

He paid for our dinner and we immediately went out of the restaurant to his car on the parking lot. He didn't take it seriously and was actually laughing about it. If this was Calvin with me I am sure he would have exploded right then and there. Lancelot grabbed his bag from the backseat and pulled out another shirt. He took of his dirty shirt off right in front of me and I can't avoid stopping and staring at his very well muscled torso, his six pack abs, hard biceps, broad shoulders and developed pecs. He is really a six feet four inches temptation. I tried my best to fight the urge of reaching out and running my hands all over his half naked form, to suck and pinch his nipples, to lick and taste my way down to his crotch. But I miserably failed. Boyfriend? What boyfriend?

"Like what you see Niclas?"

That was the second time I heard him say that phrase today but I didn't care because I really liked what I was seeing. The next thing I know was we were making out at the back of his car. I was pinned under his body, my arms wrapped around him. His blue eyes staring into mine and his breathing ragged. He slowly descended to my lips and we shared a hot, passionate kiss. It felt as if electricity shot through our bodies. It felt good. No, good is an understatement of what I'm feeling right now. This is the best kiss I ever had. If we weren't lying down on his backseat, I swear my foot will go "pop" like Anne Hathaway from The Princess' Diaries. I'm such a hopeless romantic. Only I can think of these crazy ideas while making out.

I gave out a soft moan as Lancelot opened his mouth and flicked my lip with his tongue. He groaned in return when I moved my hands down to grab and squeeze his ass. I pulled myself against him and ground my crotch into his, rubbing my seven inch cock strained against the material of my pants into his hardness. 

My hands found his nipples and gently pulled on them as he opened the zipper of my pants and pulled out my dick. He circled his fingers around my cock and my hips spasmed in reaction, my cock thrusting forward. He gave it a few strokes and crystal fluid seeped out from my cock slit.

"You taste so fucking good Niclas. You make me so hard I think my cock will rip through my jeans."

His taste on my tongue was addictive. His lips against my lips and his soft touches on my crotch were all I could feel. His scent was all I need to drive me crazy and forget Calvin. Calvin! What the hell am I doing? 

"Lancelot, we should stop this..." I really don't want to end this, but I had to. This is wrong.

"Yeah, sorry. Our first time together shouldn't be in the back of my car on a public place. You deserve better Niclas. And someone might see us." Yeah someone I KNOW might see us and tell Calvin I'm cheating on him.

"That's not what I meant..." Before I could explain his cell phone rang. Lancelot got off of me and answered the call. I took the time to fix my clothes and hair, and looking at the rear view mirror, I can see my lips swollen from kisses and my face flushed. Anyone who sees my current state and Lancelot's half –naked body will have no doubts of what have we have been doing in Lancelot's car. 

"Niclas, my brother's friend just called. Levi's drunk again and I have to get home to make sure he is okay. I'll just have to drive you home first."

Levi is his older brother. He is already an alcoholic when I first met him years ago. Turns out he still is after all these years.

"No. it's okay. I'll just take a cab. Levi needs you."

"Are you sure you'll be okay? "

"I'm not the one you should be worrying about Lancelot."

"Can I see you again?"

Oh no. Niclas say no. 

"Sure." 

I am out of my mind. I am being inconsistent. I am afraid of hurting and betraying Calvin but I can't help the undeniable connection and attraction I have with Lancelot. This is surely going to bite me in the ass.

"Jessica gave me your number. I'll call you."

As I watch him drive away from the parking lot, only I begin to realize what a big mess I got myself into. 

***************

I was sitting on the edge of our bed stroking my erection, flicking my thumb over the slit. It's already past midnight and Calvin wasn't home yet. My other hand cupping and squeezing my balls. I rummaged in my bed side table's drawer and pulled out a silicon dildo. I dabbed lube on my fingers and prepared myself. It has been a while since Calvin touched me, saying he was too tired and drained to get it up. Pulling my legs up a bit to gain access to my body, I let my finger slid in and out, coating the walls of my hole with lube. I added another finger, then another. As I slid into me again, I angled my fingers to hit my prostate and I almost came with the sensation. I rubbed more lube on the dildo and inserted the toy into my tight hole. As I slide it back and forth, making sure the tip presses my prostate, I stroked my cock violently. My hand moving faster and harder on my shaft, my head thrashing from side to side. 

"Yeah fuck me... fuck my tight ass..."

I was thinking of Calvin, his thick seven inch cock and his muscular body. I could see sweat dripping from his forehead as he aggressively fucks my hole, his blue eyes staring at me. Wait, those blue eyes aren't Calvin's. I've seen those before... but where?

All of a sudden the vision in my mind changed and it was Lancelot who was fucking me. Images and pictures of Lancelot flashed through my mind. I imagined that it was his cock fucking me, though I never got the chance to see it, I knew it is fucking huge based on what I felt when we were making out.

"Lancelot... Lancelot..."

Without any warning I felt hot come all over my chest and my face. I had never come this strong with just masturbating. I slid the dildo from me, dropped it on the floor and closed my eyes. Thinking of Lancelot got me off. Another guy, not my guy, was in my mind as I pleasured myself. This can't be. I felt like slut, hoe and a whore rolled into one. 

***************

The next day at work, I decided to talk to Jessica about the stupid infatuation I'm feeling towards Lancelot because I know she's the only person I can confide to with this dilemma, but she seemed to be not in the mood. It was starting to bother me because she was oddly silent the whole day, which is so not her and I don't know if she was trying to avoid me. Before we went home I tried to talk to her about her strange manner, but she snapped back at me.

"Okay that's it you bitch! What the fuck is your problem? I've been trying to speak to you nicely the whole fucking day but you shove my ass away every time!"

She just stared at me the whole time as if she had no idea what I was talking about. 

"Answer me Jess, are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong to deserve being treated this way? Tell me!"

"I CAN'T! I promised Michael I wouldn't tell you..."

"What is it you're trying to hide from me?"

"Calvin is cheating on you Niclas. The bastard, son of a bitch is cheating with Frankie."



Did I Make The Cut? Ch. 03



Because you guys asked for more, the Naked Llama is back for the third time. I just want to thank each and every person out there who liked and appreciated the first two chapters of my story. When I first submitted this story, I was actually expecting that people wouldn't like it very much and would not give me any encouragement to continue this series (I'm very, very pessimistic), but I was so wrong! The comments and feedbacks I received from the second chapter gave me the boost I needed to finish this story and inspired me to write more and more and more stories in the future. 

This isn't the last chapter yet, there will still be at least two more chapters to come. And just so you know, there won't be any fucking or sucking or anything sexual that will be happening in this chapter. Sorry to disappoint some of you. It will revolve around Niclas' insecurities, issues and heartaches. Spraying lots of love to my readers!

*

"Niclas, are you out of your mind? You invited Frankie to your wedding?!"

In the span of three years, a lot of things have changed. My address, my favorite color, my job, my life. Everything had changed ever since Lancelot Martin Simpson walked into my life, except for one thing. Jessica's noisy and unstoppable mouth. That and change are the only two constant things in this world.

"Don't tell me you have already forgotten what that guy did to you years ago."

"Jessica..." I tried to interrupt her, but there would be no stopping this girl once she opens her mouth to talk. She can go on and on for hours until she decides to change the topic. "Michael, help me here."

"Honey, it's his wedding. Niclas has the right to decide who does and who doesn't get invited." Michael tried to butt in, but Jessica threatened him that he wouldn't be getting any and would be sleeping on the couch for a week if he doesn't stay out of our conversation. 

"Shut up Michael! This is between me and my gay best friend!" She turned to face me again and I can see the fire burning in her eyes. This argument is nowhere near its end.

"No! Niclas, I wasn't talking about the time when he had stolen Calvin from you. I was actually grateful he did that to you. If it wasn't for that you would still have probably chosen Calvin over Lancelot and pushed Lancelot away. You would still be stuck with Mister Douche Bag for the rest of your days and we wouldn't be in this car, on our way to get you married to Mister Six Feet Four Inches of Temptation. I was talking about how that lying, green eyed, two-faced fag betrayed your trust and all the hurtful things he said to you."

I always believe that everything happens for a reason. Finding out that my boyfriend was cheating with someone very close to me broke me into pieces. Yes, it devastated me, but I would go all over the pain again knowing that at the end of that a life with Lancelot awaits. I have no reason to be bitter and hateful anymore because I got what I had always wanted and more. Frankie might have done and said horrible things in the past, but he had already realized his mistakes and apologized for all the great pains he have caused before.

"Jess, I want to share this special day with my family. I want each and every one of them to be there. Frankie is my step brother so he should also be there. I have already moved on from the past and have forgiven him."

"He's not just your step brother, he is your fucking evil step brother for crying out loud!"

"One of Cinderella's wicked step sisters changed for good Jessica, and so did Frankie."

"It's either you're plain stupid or you're just buying your way into heaven by being too nice to everyone who wronged you before. Who do you want to be? Jolly old Saint Niclas?"

"Am I supposed to laugh at that? Because if that's supposed to be a joke it's very lame and pathetic."

"Bite me." 

A phone call saved me from Jessica's never ending ramblings. I took my vibrating cell phone out from my right pocket as an unregistered and unfamiliar number was calling. I was hesitant to answer the phone call at first but I immediately thought that maybe one of our guests got lost and might be calling for directions. I pressed the answer key.

"Hello?"

All I got was silence. I was about to push the end call button when I heard the person from the other end of the line coughed a few times before being able to speak. The voice was a bit different now, but I knew exactly who it was. 

"Calvin..."

The expression on Jessica's face changed from curiosity to shock as she heard me say Calvin's name. 

"Yeah Niclas, it's me Calvin. I heard you're getting married today. Well, I just called to say my best wishes to both of you. And to warn you, they say that marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your lives. You might want to change your mind."

I actually laughed at that and appreciated his attempt of trying to keep our conversation light and comfortable. It's been a long time since the last time we talked to each other. 

"Thanks Calvin, that's so nice of you and no, I have made up my mind and I'm ready to annoy Lancelot for the rest of his life."

"Poor guy."Calvin snorted.

"Yeah, but he loves me enough to bear with me."

An uncomfortable silence followed after. I should have never said that.

"So... how are you doing?" 

"Still the same Niclas. I've lost a lot of weight, but I'm doing okay, can't say I feel great but I'm okay. I'm living with my sister now, you still remember her, right? She takes care of everything I need."

Calvin and Frankie's relationship lasted for five months. Frankie doesn't love him at the first place. He was just after Calvin because he was mine. But the case was different for Calvin, he did love Frankie and when he found out that he just used him, it really broke his heart. After their relationship ended, Calvin decided not to get in a steady relationship ever again and just slept around with different men to get his rocks off. Last year Calvin found out that he has AIDS. 

"It's good to know that you and Thelma are on speaking terms again."

"I have to make amends to the people I have hurt before. I have to make everything right before...before..."

"Before it's too late?"

"You're too kind, before I die."

I know I'm supposed to say Calvin got what he deserved. I hated him so badly with what he did to me, and I even planned to get even before. But I knew deep inside that I would never wish for something like this to happen to the guy. Getting happiness and satisfaction from another's suffering is wrong.

"Niclas?"

"Yeah?"

"Have I ever told you how much I regret that I let you go?"

"Calvin..."

"I've been thinking Niclas. I was so stupid. I messed up real bad. I know that it's too late. But I just want you to know that you are the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I should have never caused you pain."

"Calvin please stop."

"I'm very happy that you found the right person for you, that you have finally found happiness."

I can't stop the tears that fell from my eyes. I feel bad for Calvin. I feel bad that it has to end up this way for him. 

"Goodbye Niclas."

"Goodbye Calvin..."

***************

Rachel Zoe's words are exactly what have happened to me recently. I just died.

I am one big fucking mess. I have not been eating properly. I smell bad (my definition of a good and proper hygiene nowadays is splashing water to my face and a few breath mints). I have been singing along to silly heartbreak songs and have been crying myself to sleep each night. People at work have been avoiding me, like I'm the Bubonic Plague or something. Michael, Jessica's husband, calls me "The Dead Man Walking". The thing is, I just don't give a damn what other people think anymore. 

Already broken, already gone, already know you're moving on

I'm a breathing, talking, dead man, walking

Already see it, in your face, already someone, in my place

I'm a breathing, talking, dead man, walking...

This is from the chorus of the song Dead Man Walking by my oh-so reliable and favorite band, The Script. Now you know where my new "nickname" came from. This is not my most favorite song from their second album, but after Calvin and I broke up, wait that's wrong, after I dumped his sorry and cheating ass out of my life, this somehow suddenly became my life's sound track.

Why am I doing this to myself? Because it hurts. It's funny because somewhere deep inside of me I already felt that Calvin and I have been drifting apart from each other, but I ignored it because I thought that maybe it was just my insecurities trying to get the best of me. I also had the gut feeling that there was something fishy going on with him always leaving the house too early for work and getting home very late from work, so I shouldn't have been surprised when Jessica told me he had been cheating. What shocked me the most is that he has been cheating with my step brother. Jessica and Michael had caught Calvin cheating on me with Frankie. They went out with a few friends one night to a club for a couple of drinks when they saw the two of them on the club's dance floor, and they weren't just simply dancing. They were doing that and more. Jessica convinced Michael to follow Calvin and Frankie when they left and they saw them went straight home to Frankie's house (which is a few blocks from our house) together. Unless you're an idiot, it would be so easy to figure out what they were actually doing inside. The first time it happened, Jessica was supposed to tell me but Michael stopped her, and made her promise that she wouldn't ruin our relationship. He said that he was just concerned about me. Yeah right. This made Jessica so mad but in the end she decided not to tell me. Just not yet.

Then it happened again, and again and again, and they always end up going home together every time. The fifth time Jessica saw Calvin and Frankie in that club "dancing", she just couldn't lie to me anymore. This is the reason why she never liked Calvin. She knew it all along, but she didn't tell me. Am I supposed to get mad at them? Yes, I have every right to, but I just can't. They are all I have right now.

This is not the first time I got my heart broken. I had history of dating one douche bag after the other and still I haven't learned my lesson.

Jacob was my first boyfriend. I met him when I was fifteen years old. It was love at first sight, and we did love each other even at our young age. I was already out to my family during that time and they were aware of our relationship, but unfortunately, Jacob wasn't so we have to keep it a secret from his family, especially from his father. We kept it from their knowledge for a year until one day, his eldest sister caught us having sex in my bedroom. Up to this day I have no idea what was his sister doing inside our house. To make a long story short, his sister told his father about what she saw, his father got mad as hell, and then I was not allowed to see him for a week. The next thing I know they had already moved out of their house and lived a thousand of miles away from us. Jacob tried to contact me a few months after, but his father caught him talking to me on the phone and we lost communication after that.

My second boyfriend, Steven, was one of Lancelot's teammates. He got a head cheerleader from another school pregnant. He told me that I am the one he really loves and that he would choose me over her, but I didn't let him do that. I came from a broken family, and I knew how hard it is to grow up without a loving father by your side. I didn't want their unborn child to experience that, so I had to give him up.

My third boyfriend, Carl broke up with me because he was secretly in love with his band mate. Elliot, my fourth, was in love with himself. Russell, my fifth boyfriend is a drug addict. John Mayer became my boyfriend too, and you know how he is. No, I was just kidding.

Tom, boyfriend number six, had two secrets. First, he was a porn star. Bubble butt? Check! Giant dick? Check! Hot ripped body? Check! Stiff acting? Check! That was a major turn on for me. Pretty hot eh? Wait until you find out what his second secret was. He has a wife and two kids. I always dreamt of being fucked by a hung and hot porn star, but never in my life had I wanted to become a home wrecker.

Calvin was my seventh boyfriend and well, you know how that turned out. What the hell is wrong with me?

***************

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with you honey."

"Yeah, Jessica's right. It's that Calvin's loss, not yours."

"He doesn't deserve you anyway. You're better, much better off without that garbage."

These were Jessica and Christian's attempt to make me feel better. I appreciate the fact that they were trying to do what good friends are supposed to do when a bad situation like this happens, but no wise words can make the pain in me go away. I've been staying at Jessica and Michael's house for a week now. Most of my stuff is still in Calvin's place and Jessica suggested that we get the rest of my things today so I can finally move on. Christian came over to lend a helping hand.

"So you still have the keys to his house?" He asked as we made our way to Calvin's front door.

"Yeah, but I'll leave these on his study table once we get all of my things."

Standing outside the door as I unlocked it, another car parked in front of the house. All of our heads turned at the same time to see who had just arrived. It was Frankie. He was wearing a black shirt under a Comme Des Garcons Homme printed jacket, a blue belt and red trousers. He walked towards us and shot us a disgusted look. 

"Well, if it isn't my pathetic and loser step brother. It's so nice to see you Niclas."

"Give this one to me Niclas, I'll bitch slap this step brother of yours and give him what he deserves."

"There's no need for that Jess. You look good Frankie." I still tried to be nice to him. As much as I want to bitch slap the guy too, I'm not like that. Doing that will lead to more fights and problems and I already had enough of that.

I never got the chance to meet my dad. My mother said that he left us when she was six months pregnant with me. The reason why he left us is still not clear to me because my mother always refuses to talk about him. God knows how many times I have attempted to dig up information from her, but I have never gotten any. When I was thirteen years old, she got married to my step father, James. James had two kids from his previous marriage, Frankie and Claire. Claire was staying at their mother's house in Hawaii and Frankie decided to live with their father, with us. I treated him like a real brother and was so nice to him. When the other kids at school were bullying and teasing him I would quickly rush to his side to help and protect him from them. I have always been there for him, and I can't believe that this is how he repays me.

"What are you doing here Niclas?"

"Actually, I was about to ask you the same thing Frankie."

"I now live here, Niclas. Calvin, my boyfriend, asked me to move in yesterday. He told me he finally got rid of his worthless and whiny ex-boyfriend. That was his words by the way."

If I am worthless and whiny, then he is a conceited and cocky son of a bitch.

"You bitch..."

"Jess, stop it. He's not worth it."

Frankie looked at Jessica and raised his eyebrow. 

"Jessica! Is that really you? Oh I am really sorry, I didn't recognize you. Have you gained some weight? You look two times bigger since the last time I saw you." A smug smile appeared on Frankie's lips and I could see Jessica has already lost all the patience she has got with my step brother.

"Alright that's it Niclas! Let me at him! Let me at him!"

"Christian can you please take Jessica back to the car?" 

Christian nodded his head at me and pulled Jessica away from us. I faced Frankie again and looked at him straight in the eyes. 

"Why are you doing this Frankie?"

"Why am I doing this to you? It's simple. I hate you! I fucking hate and despise you!"

Hate me? Why would he hate me? All these years I only showed him love and kindness. I made him feel he was important to me, that I cared for him. I never expected that our relationship as brothers would end up like this.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to live in your shadows? "

"I can't believe you are willing to throw away everything we have just because you are insecure!"

"Oh I am not insecure. I am jealous! You are smart and talented. People laugh at your jokes, people are drawn to you. You always get the attention! And you know what the worst part is? That my own father loves you more than he loves me!"

"Frankie that's not true!"

I was taken aback by all his revelations. I want to get mad at him, but all I felt was pity. I can't believe he thinks so less of himself.

"That is the fucking truth! Do you want to know the other truths I have been hiding from you besides this? I don't care if you want to hear them or not, I'll fucking tell you anyway. I was the one who told Jacob's sister and his father about the two of you! Steven didn't get that head cheerleader pregnant. Actually no one got pregnant, you were just stupid enough to believe him. He was in debt that time and I told him I would give him money if and only he breaks up with you. I find it amusing that anyone will do anything for money. I swore to myself that I would do everything it would take to see you fall down and get broken. It was just my luck that you always end up dating a douche bag after another so it was easy for me and it didn't take a lot of effort from me. I feel pleased and contented every time someone breaks your heart."

"So stealing Calvin from me is a part of your master plan?"

"I thought you should have figured that out by now."

I was left wordless. This is not Frankie, but after hearing everything he has got to say today, I totally have no fucking clue who the real Frankie is. His insecurities, his envy of me, turned him to a cold-blooded, insensitive human being whose only goal is to see me fall down, hit the floor face first and shatter into million pieces. The person in front of me is a total stranger. 

"Frankie, the rest of my stuff, I need them."

I just want to take my things and leave this place immediately. 

"I put everything away in a garbage bag. It's in the garage. It's a good thing you came by, I was about to throw them away today."

I gave him the extra keys that I have and started to walk towards the garage. 

"Thanks. And Frankie..."

"What?" 

"I hope you're happy."

***************

"I can't believe he called me fat!" Jessica shrieked as we were driving back from Calvin and Frankie's house. "I hope he dies miserable and poorly dressed."

"I can't believe he called me worthless and whiny!"

"Well, I can't believe this actually happens in real life. I felt like I was on a set for a soap opera or something. Did he really say that?"

"Yes he did call me fat!"

"Not you Jessica, I'm talking to Niclas."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm down myself from this day's events and unexpected revelations.

"Frankie and Calvin can rot in hell for all I care. Jess, you were right. Getting the remainder of my stuff from their place will help me move on. It did help me move on. It made me realize that yeah, I shouldn't be upset, that I shouldn't get depressed because they are so not worth it. You know what, let's go out tonight! Let's celebrate because I'm free!"

"Now you're talking Niclas! And now that you are free, why don't we invite Lancelot to join us for tonight?"

I smiled at her, liking the idea that finally I have the chance to really get to know Lancelot without having feelings of guilt and betrayal. 

***************

I thought that this night is supposed to be all about having fun and celebrating my new found freedom, I guess I was wrong. 




Did I Make The Cut? Ch. 03



"You had a boyfriend?!"

"Lancelot, ex-boyfriend."

"And you knew this all along Jessica?"

Jessica simply nodded, unable to speak. People are starting to notice the commotion that is happening over our table. I told Lancelot to calm down because the other people at the bar were beginning to get curious and were watching us, but he ignored me. 

"You guys lied to me!"

Lancelot came thirty minutes after we arrived at the bar down the street. He was cheerful and all smiles as he took the empty seat beside me. We were chatting and joking around when he asked the reason why we were having a celebration. Jessica told him everything and even before she was finished talking the change in Lancelot's facial expression was obvious. 

"Nobody lied to you Lancelot..."

"What did you do then Niclas? Used me? You found out your boyfriend was cheating on you so you decided to get even?"

"I tried to tell you."

"But you never did! You made me believe that you liked me too! We almost had sex at the back of my car! God I'm such an idiot. You know, I think you deserved what happened to you! You made a big fool out of me!"

"I didn't do that to you Lancelot! You were just too presumptuous! It's not my fault you're a stereotypical dumb model!"

I didn't mean what I just said, but I was getting more and more frustrated. By now everybody is watching us and I hate being humiliated in public. Lancelot was stunned with the awful comment I made about him and he was obviously hurt by my words. Jessica gasped as it came out from my mouth and Christian gave me a look of dismay.

"And you're heartless, deceiving and misleading. You are no different from that cheating step brother of yours."

"I'm sorry Lancelot... I...I didn't mean what I said..."

He turned his back at me and silently walked out of the bar, with his head down. Tears were falling down from his eyes and mine. Everyone around me was staring at me, others were even shaking their heads. I knew I shouldn't have said those things to him. If I just told him the truth this wouldn't have happened. This is my entire fault. What have I done?

***************

It has been two months after that unpleasant incident at the bar. I tried to talk to Lancelot. I tried to apologize for what has been said and done and explain to him that I never meant to use him or deceive him. I tried to make everything right. I guess it's too late for that. He avoided me and never returned any of my calls. I even went to his house, but he was not there. Levi, his older brother, told me that he was staying at one of his model friends' apartment. I asked for the address but Levi said I should give Lancelot some time to be able to think. He said that when the time comes that Lancelot is ready to talk, he will just simply show up outside my door. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice Christian walked into my work room.

"How are you doing buddy?"

Christian was wearing clothes from Dior Homme from head to toe. He became a big fan of Kris Van Assche after watching his new collection for the Dior Homme A/W 2010 show. He was holding a small wrapped box in his left hand and a picture of an almost naked David Gandy for Dolce and Gabbana with his right hand.

"David Gandy is fucking gorgeous! Here take a look. Isn't he the hottest among all the guys who model for Dolce and Gabbana?"

Everyone at work has a serious crush on him. The crazy thing is that they are all competing against one another for Mister Gandy's love and affection. 

"He's hot, but I still think Noah Mills is hotter." Christian glared at me because of this. "What's that?"

"Oh this? This is for you. Consider this as my thank you and farewell gift for you." He held the small rectangular box towards me. I took it from him and placed it over my table.

"Farewell? Are you leaving?"

"Niclas, this is my last week of internship here. They said that if Charlotte would want for me to work here permanently, she should have asked me to sign a contract a long time ago. But that's okay, my six month stint here as an intern had been the best six months of my life. The free clothes and stuff, being able to watch a lot of different runway shows by famous designers, getting to meet famous people and having the chance to work with wonderful and talented people like you had been a great experience for me."

"And you met Adriano and got yourself a boyfriend with your placement here."I said with a teasing smile. 

"I'm a lucky bitch."

I stood up and pulled him into a hug. I am also grateful that I had the opportunity to get to know him and have him as a friend. He had been nice and supportive to me the past few months when I was down. Christian is a very talented person and I know he will go places. I know he will be a successful and famed designer someday. Just when Christian pulled away from my arms, Charlotte appeared at the door and told us she wanted to see us both at her office. He looked at me and asked me if I have any idea why she wanted to talk to the two of us. I shook my head in response and followed Charlotte to her office. She was wearing an orange Lanvin dress, a pair of Gucci shoes and a gold Chanel cuff. Christian was obviously tensed and we anxiously walked side by side behind her. Did I do something wrong? Am I going to get my ass fired? Is she going to kill us? These were the thoughts that were running on my mind. 

***************

A man in his late forties with an ice blonde hair was waiting for us inside her office. His name is Saint, and he is one of Charlotte's closest designer friends. I've seen him here a lot of times before and he was always present in every fashion show and event we had. A very good looking male model with long dark locks and brown eyes, probably the same age as I am, was seating beside him. Saint claims that this guy is his muse. I say he is his latest boy slut. Charlotte asked us to take the two empty seats across Saint and his male model.

"Let's get down to business. Christian you're officially hired. You're going to take Niclas' place as one of my design assistants. Niclas that means you're out." Is it just me or Charlotte sounded like Heidi Klum in Project Runway? 

"What?!" Christian and I had spoken right at the same time. This is unfair! I mean, I like Christian a lot, but there is no way in hell that I'm going to give up my job here for him. 

"You're going to fire me?" I asked Charlotte.

"Well not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

Charlotte left her seat and went to stand behind Saint's chair. She placed both of her hands on his shoulders and gave it a squeeze before proceeding on giving me an answer to my question.

"Saint here, has an offer to make."

"I'm actually planning to open up a new line and expand my brand here in the US. I've always wanted to do that but I can never find any competent and talented designers that I need for the said project. That is, until I found you. I have seen your designs and had been observing you and your work for the past few months and I knew you are a perfect fit for the job."

"Saint wants you to be the creative director for his new line of men's wear here in LA. So what do you say Niclas? Take it or leave it?" Okay now she sounds like a game show host.

Everyone inside Charlotte's office was waiting for my decision. Christian was nodding his head, telling me to accept. Charlotte kept on talking trying to convince me that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that I shouldn't pass up. Saint was smiling at me the whole time, though I can read in his eyes that he was worried that I might not take his job offer. The male model was just seating there, oblivious to what was happening around him. Everything was happening too fast, but I thought that maybe this is just what I need, an opportunity to start all over again. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak.

"When am I going to start?"



Did I Make The Cut? Ch. 04



The Naked Llama is back for the fourth installment of this story. I want to say thank you to everyone who took the time to read the first three chapters, to everyone who voted, to everyone who left their comments and suggestions, and most importantly to the readers who inspires me to continue. I really like it when you guys let me know what your thoughts and reactions are every time a new chapter has been submitted, that's why I would like to encourage my beloved readers to leave more comments and send more feedbacks. 

The third chapter was definitely a heavy and emotional one, and I received mixed reviews about it. But I'm still happy because that means somehow my characters had affected you and that also means I'm doing my job as a writer. It's better having those comments and reactions than none, right? We're getting closer to the end of this series but don't worry because I plan to right some more. If that's what you guys want. Do you want that? Spraying my love to everyone as always!

*

"Your dad said I can start working next Monday." Levi said with a smile as bright as his younger brother's. They don't look exactly the same, but you can still identify and distinguish their similarities and would be able to tell that they are siblings. Levi has the same light brown hair and bushy eyebrows, and his eyes are a lighter shade of blue. His nose is busted though, and he has a two inch scar across his left cheek. He got those from the bar fights that he got involved in each time he drinks too much. Every time Levi gets too much alcohol in his system he turns into a totally different person, a very crazy one. But that is all in the past now and he is no more an alcoholic. Lancelot and Lauren, the youngest of the three, sent Levi to a rehab last year and got sober ever since. 

"Wow! That's great news Levi. I'm really happy for you." My step dad co-owns an auto shop and he needed a replacement for one of their workers that had to resign and move to another state because of a sick family member. James asked Levi earlier today if he would be interested in working for him as a car mechanic and the pure delight and excitement from the good news Levi had just received were written all over his face.

"I'm truly grateful that he had given me this opportunity. I really want to fix my life and this job is exactly what I need to start some progress in doing that."

"Being able to resist a few drinks from the free bar sounds a positive progress to me." I told him and he was laughing when I said it.

"Well I get tempted sometimes but I'm doing this for my family. I'm the eldest and with mom and dad gone, I'm supposed to be the one looking after them and not the other way around. Lauren already has two kids and Lancelot is a married man now, he can't take care of me anymore, he has to take care of you now. So, I guess it's time let go of my bad drinking habits and get my life straight."

I pulled Levi into a hug. "We'll always be here for you. Always remember that." I smiled as I felt his arms tighten around me, the warmth of his body close to mine. It felt good, not in a sexual and perverted way, it was actually more like hugging a family member. It's the pleasant, comfy feelings and security you get from just being close to the people you love. Levi is the older brother I never had and I really care for him as much as my husband does. 

"Are you hitting on my spouse?"Lancelot asked his brother. 

"What would you do then if I was really flirting with Niclas?"Both of his arms were still wrapped around me and he had no intention of letting me go. They always do this. Levi would joke around and pretend he is hitting on me to make his brother jealous while Lancelot would act like a possessive and controlling prick. Nothing serious, this is all for the sake of having fun.

Lancelot raised an eye brow and looked up to the night sky, pretending that he was really thinking of what would his possible actions be if Levi was telling the truth. "Oh that's easy, I'll get rid of you and put you back to rehab. Sober or not."He threatened.

Suddenly Levi took a step back and I was pushed towards Lancelot, my husband catching me in his arms. He pulled a white handkerchief out of his pocket and waved it in the air. 

"I surrender! He's all yours, just don't make me go back there!" We can't stop ourselves from laughing so hard with what Levi had just said. He knows that place helped him a lot, but he would never dream of going back there for a second time around.

"But I thought you met someone there." I asked.

"She's just a flavor of the month. I might not be drinking anymore, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let go of my playboy image."He gave me a very seductive smile and winked at me. "I'm no Lancelot."

"You're twisted."My husband rolled his eyes at him.

"But seriously, I'd love to have what you have right now Lance, and no, I don't mean Niclas. What I meant is I want to find a special person, who can be able to make me settle down, whose face would be the last one I'd see before I go to sleep at night and the first one I'd see when I wake up in the morning." My brother is secretly a hopeless romantic. How cute.

"Are there any candidates?"

"Every single and available girl out there."He said with a smirk. "And maybe that cute guy over there." We all turned our heads towards the direction where Levi's finger was pointing at, curious to see who caught his attention. A guy wearing an expensive Dolce and Gabbana suit and a pair of Tom Ford shoes was seating by the bar all by himself, a glass of vodka in one hand.

"Frankie?" Lancelot and I said in disbelief. My brother is interested in my step brother.

"And since when have you been into guys Levi?" Lancelot asked.

"Since the moment I saw him. He's cute."Levi commented.

"That's Niclas' step brother. I thought you want to fix your life and find someone special to marry? Bro, I'm warning you, that guy is trouble."

"A challenge. I like challenges."

"I don't think you'd be able to tame his wild ways. He's a pain in the ass." I added. Frankie had changed a lot, but he's still the same person who sucked at relationships. No pun intended. None of his past relationships lasted for over a year because he gets easily bored with them. He would jump over from one hot guy to another and leave them all with their hearts broken. He's definitely not the marrying type. 

"Really? I have a bigger pain in the ass." Levi looked at me and grabbed his crotch. "It's right here and I know exactly how to make him beg for it." 

"Levi, let's not go there okay?"

Levi didn't say a word as he left the two of us and went towards the bar to introduce himself to Frankie. This is actually going to be interesting, but for the most part I knew this is going to be a big fucking mess.

"Don't say we didn't warn you!" I shouted but he didn't seem to care. He's a man on a mission.

"He can handle himself baby."Lancelot said. He has seen the worry in my eyes. Levi is important to me, not only because he is my husband's brother, but because if it hadn't for him, Lancelot would never be back in my life. Jessica made the first move to bring us closer, but it was Levi who was responsible for bringing us together. Without his intervention, I wouldn't be married to this wonderful guy beside me.

Speaking of the wedding, it was great. It was all I ever wanted and much, much more. My stepfather was the one who walked me down the aisle. Levi stood beside Lancelot as his best man and of course, Jessica was the maid of honor. Lancelot's family and my family were there to show us their love and support for the two of us. Charlotte and Saint were stunning on their outfits as always, almost stealing all the attention from us. Christian and Adriano were also there. They look perfect together and I was so happy when I found out they got engaged last month. All of our close friends and some of the people we know from the fashion industry came to witness our union. This is the happiest day of my life.

Tears welled up in my eyes when we got to the point where we had to say our vows to each other. I never thought I'd find true love, but the gold band on my finger proved me wrong. 

***************

An hour and a half had passed and the blank pieces of paper that covered my desk still remained as the blank pieces of paper that they are. A few crumple ones were lying on the floor so I bent down to pick it all up and decided to be a big help to the environment by recycling them for later use instead of just throwing them away. I'm eco-friendly.

Then I was startled when out of nowhere Jessica appeared beside my desk. She was wearing the same pair of jeans that she wore the other day, following her very disgusting fashion rule, "if they're clean, leave them lying, if they're brown, wash it down". I wanted to comment on that but I got a little annoyed because of her attempt to give me a fucking heart attack.

"What are you doing in here?"She asked.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that? In case you didn't know, there's this polite thing that you should do before going inside someone else's room, and it's called knocking."I said sarcastically.

"Well the door's open, and this is our house-"

"I know that I'm over staying. I suggested a lot of times that I should start looking for my own place."I snapped back at her. It's not that I'm not welcome here, it's just that I don't like that they had been stalling me from moving out because they think it's their responsibility to look after me. I know they were just being the ever caring and reliable friends that they are but for crying out loud, they didn't have to babysit a twenty-four year old gay guy.

"We've already talked about this honey, Michael and I think it's best if you stay here with us for a while."She said with a sigh. "C'mon, we're heading out to watch a movie, come join us. It would be fun."

I declined because I still have tons of work to do. You should know by now that Jessica is the type of person who wouldn't take no for an answer but she let me be this time. She gave me a hug before she left the house with her husband to meet up with Christian and Adriano. I was really busy with my new job these past weeks and I had no time to have a little fun for myself and go out with my friends. I miss hanging out with all of them. I miss Lancelot.

He still doesn't want to talk to me and I'm missing him so badly. I still haven't found a way to reach him and the only person I know that could help me had stopped talking to me, probably Lancelot found out and he made Levi stop communicating with me.

We only went out for one dinner but the connection and attraction were undeniably present between us. I can't seem to get his handsome face and his beautiful smile out of my mind and I knew that in a short span of time that I had fallen in love with the guy. It may sound impossible and others might think that it's not true, but my heart and my mind (and my cock too) are in unison that these feelings are more than an infatuation. I just wish I could be able to ask for his forgiveness and start all over again, make it right the second time. Speaking of starting all over again and doing something for the second time...

I looked up at the wall clock to see another fifteen minutes had gone to waste and I still hadn't accomplished anything. I tossed the pencil over my table and I started to get frustrated that I can't come up with new and fresh ideas for the designs I was supposed to illustrate. There are two reasons why I can't do it. First, I am not inspired. I've met a lot of young designers who boast that they don't need an inspiration when they are working on a project because they are good. That's bullshit. For a designer, or any artist, inspiration is the key to a successful creation. An iconic individual, an exotic country or a 1980's film. Anything could be a source of one's inspiration, but right now I simply have none of that. I tried browsing through different magazines, but there was nothing. I tried looking for a single picture that can inspire me from my travel and art books, and it turned out the same with the fashion magazines. I tried surfing the internet, but I ended up watching porn. Mike Roberts is fucking hot.

The second reason why I can't finish this task is because I wasn't in the mood to be in my usual creative and innovative self tonight. I'm tired, stressed and have a bad case of designer block. I had no other choice but to force myself to do new designs because the launch of the new men's wear line under Saint's name is in four months. All I have got is four months to create forty different looks. It's a good thing I've got lots of other designers and skilled tailors to help me or else I'm fucked up. 

I was already done with this process two months ago when earlier this week Saint called me in his office to tell me that he wanted everything changed. I had to start all over because he said he wasn't impressed with the designs, that it didn't wow him. He also added that it was too simple and boring for his taste, and that something was missing. I know what's missing. His blood, all over my illustrations. (Enter violent thoughts here.)

I snapped back to reality and I reminded myself that I work in the fashion industry and situations like these were normal. 

What pissed me off the most was the fact that we had already started working on the collection using the original designs we've made. Necessary materials and fabrics had been purchased already. What a waste of time and money. Well, it's his money anyway.

The ringing of the door bell broke me from my thoughts. I went out of room, wondering who the person on the other side of the door could be. It's definitely not Jessica and Michael, they have keys with them. I turned the knob to open the front door and was surprised to see Lancelot standing there.

"Hey...It's you."To say that I was shocked to see him was absolutely an understatement. I wasn't sure what to say, or what to do. I looked up and saw sadness and longing in his eyes. The spark that was usually there was gone. The look in his face was purely heartbreaking, and it really hurts because I knew it was my entire fault.

"Niclas. Can we... Uhm, I need to talk to you."

"Sure. Yeah, come inside." I let him into the house and led him to the living room. I tried to offer him anything to drink but he refused.

"Come sit beside me. Please." He patted the empty space beside him and I sat next to him. An awkward and uncomfortable silence followed after. 

"How are you?" I asked, trying to break the tension.

"I'm not okay." He said without looking at me. 

"I can see that." Lancelot definitely lost some weight. It's evident that he had not been eating properly and he hadn't been taking good care of himself. I'm not sure where this is going to, but I'm hoping that after this I'd be able to hold him in my arms, whisper words of love in his ear, and take care of him. 

"You don't look good yourself."He commented.

"I'm just tired. I work for Saint now."

"That sounds good." He was still not looking at me. "My agency wants to send me to Milan."

Being able to model in one of the fashion capitals of the world is a rare opportunity to come by. We both know that this is big, that this break would be good for his career as a male model. Having an international career is every model's goal and not all models have the chance to work in Milan, Italy.

"So, you're here to say goodbye?" I still asked even though I fear so much of his answer. I didn't want him to go. I want him here, with me.

"I haven't decided yet. I want to. But, I don't think I can."

"What's stopping you?"I asked.

He didn't answer this time and he was suddenly silent again. I could see in his expressions that he was thinking. 

"Lancelot."

"I talked to my brother today. I had no plans of telling you this, but he convinced me. He sent me here, he said I should tell you."

I waited for him to continue. 

"That it has always been you."Lancelot whispered. 

"What?" I didn't hear what he said.

"I said it has always been you."He repeated.

"I was always been what?"

He took a deep breath before responding to my question. "I'm in love with you, ever since we were in high school. I knew I was already gay back then, and I find you really, really attractive and interesting. But I didn't have the courage to ask you out..."

"Because you weren't out to anyone."

"Yes, nobody knew except Lauren."

I didn't know how to react. I can't believe that Lancelot Martin Simpson is in love with me. My heart was racing and my palms were starting to sweat. I was getting nervous but I definitely want to hear the rest of his revelations. He took my hand in his as he talked. "I tried to ignore my feelings for you at first, trying to tell myself that I'm only fascinated with the way you dress, that I'm only one of the many people who were impressed with your good taste in fashion."

I can't help but blush with what he said. He noticed it and for the first time this evening he smiled at me. Although the brightness his smile possessed was still not there, the fact that he was starting to smile again is a good sign.

"I tried dating other people, but every time I looked at their faces, it was yours I always see. My heart beats frenziedly when I see you. You have no idea how many times I got envy of Jessica because she always spends time with you." He paused for a while and continued. "Do you want to know when I truly realized that I'm deeply in love with you?"

"When?"

"Senior prom."He said.

Proms. Oh how I hate those. The only reason I went to those kinds of events that were primarily only for heterosexual couples to enjoy was because I can dress up.

"What about it?" I was curious and still can't fucking believe that this is actually happening.

"I was on the dance floor, with some red-headed chick whose name I can't remember anymore. I was dancing with her, but the whole time I was looking at you. You were all by yourself, watching all the couples on the floor. To others you seemed simply just bored, but when I looked closer I saw the sadness in your eyes. You didn't have a date, nobody was talking to you and no one was asking you for a dance. I didn't want seeing you like that. It broke my heart seeing you sad. From that moment on I promised to myself that I'd always make you smile."

He was telling the truth. I remember that it was a week after our senior prom when all of a sudden Lancelot, the basketball jock who rarely talked to me even though we had few friends in common, started greeting me and flashing his breathtaking smile at me every time we see each other at school. He wanted to make me happy, and I have to admit that that simple gesture of his made my remaining days in school complete.

"I decided that after the day of our graduation that I'd talk to you and confess my feelings for you, but when I came by to your house the next day, your mother told me that you had already left for New York. I hated myself for not being able to tell you the truth. I was afraid that I would never see you again, that I had lost you forever. But that fateful day happened." I knew what he was talking about. It was the day that we had model go-sees at work. The same day that brought Christian and Adriano together.

"When I saw you again after not seeing you for six years, everything that I used to feel for you, that I thought were already gone, came rushing back. I told myself that I will do everything to have you, to make you mine." He tightened his grip on my hand and I looked at him, holding his gaze. 

"That's why you're here."I said. It was more of a statement than a question.

I want him to still want me. I'm never going to let him go and I have decided that I will fight for this. I have been fucking blind all this time. I've been searching for years, have been looking for that special someone and had been hurt many times because I searched at the wrong places. It was Lancelot all along. He's the one for me.




Did I Make The Cut? Ch. 04



"Yes."His voice trailed away as I put my hand on the back of his head and pulled him towards me, closing the distance between us. I pressed my lips over Lancelot's and I kissed him tenderly. A soft moan escaped from his lips as he wrapped his arms around me, one arm caressing my hair and the other was around my waist. I pushed my tongue inside his mouth and he allowed me in, opening his mouth for me to explore. Our tongues intertwined, swirling and dancing as Lancelot and I kissed passionately. Our kisses rapidly escalated from slow and gentle kisses to opened mouthed and very sensual ones. I slowly pulled away to breathe some air, giggling a little as Lancelot tried to follow, not wanting to end the kiss. 

He was still holding me as he leaned back and gazed at me. His lips were red and kiss-bruised and I could clearly see in his eyes that the misery and sorrow he had a few minutes ago have been replaced by love and desire. He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back at him as I notice the smile that I fell in love with was back. 

"So... does this mean?"

"Yes" He wasn't finished yet but I knew exactly what he wanted to ask. "I'm yours."

He leaned forward and captured my lips for another kiss. "I love you Niclas. Love you so much." A stifled yawn was my reply and he laughed. "I should go. It's getting late and you need to sleep."

"No."I protested. "Please stay. Jess and Michael wouldn't mind."

"Okay." That was easy. 

I stood up, pulled him to his feet and led him to the spare bedroom, the one that I've been sleeping in for the past months. I opened the door and led him inside. He looked around and I had to apologize for the clutter that surrounded the entire bedroom.

"No, it's okay. You should have seen the apartment Levi and I are living in. It's worse than this." Part of me wanted to believe that he's just saying that to make me feel better, but they're two grown-up men living in one roof, there's no doubt he's not telling a lie. 

He pulled me closer to him as soon as the door was closed behind us. I shuddered when he bent down to kiss me as we started to undress one another. The kiss was long and deep and filled with tongues, nibbling and tasting each other's lips and mouth. I tugged at the hem of Lancelot's shirt, very eager to get it out of the way. I pulled his shirt over his head and went to kiss his neck. It felt fucking fantastic to have him this close to me. The feel of his muscular torso and arms underneath my hands, his smell, and the way he looks at me with such burning passion makes me feel so hot and horny. I kissed, sucked and nibbled his neck before raising his other arm to smell and lick his bushy armpits. I have a fetish for hairy armpits, it's so manly. 

"Oh.. Niclas..." Lancelot was quietly watching me pleasure him, silent moans and whimpers were coming from him every now and then. His hand went down to fondle and stroke my hard dick while I ran my hands over his chest. He cried out when I sucked and licked his nipple into my mouth. He continued stroking my erection as I moved to the other nipple.

"You're so hot and hard in my hands baby." Lancelot whispered on a groan. 

I grabbed rubbed the enormous bulge in his crotch and looked at him. "Looks like I'm not the only one."

"Are you just going to stand there all night? Do something about it babe." He said with a naughty grin.

I bent down to my knees to unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans. I pulled down his boxer shorts and the most magnificent cock I have ever seen in my life let loose and slapped onto my lips. It's a cut, nine inches long and a very fat dick. And it's all for me.

Its red and swollen head was already pointed directly to my lips, begging for me to take it in my mouth. I spit on my palms and wrapped my hands around it. My hands, both slick with my saliva, elicited a groan from Lancelot.

"Suck it Nic. Put in your mouth."

I licked his shaft up and down before taking its head into my mouth. Lancelot moaned loudly as I sucked and licked my tongue all over his cock's head. I made sure that I also teased its hole with the tip of my tongue, tasting his pre-cum that had been leaking copiously. I slowly slid my mouth down, taking it inch by inch. His cock was so big I can't take it all yet, so I settled with what I can take for now and wrapped my hand around the remaining few inches. I started to bob my head up and down as I suck his huge meat.

"Oh yeah, that's it Nic. Suck it... Oh, yeah, make me come in your mouth."

What my Lancelot wants, my Lancelot gets. One nice sloppy blowjob coming up.

I continued to suck him firmly as I play with his balls and tug on his pubic hair. I stroked my hands on his shaft tightly for additional sensations. He moved his hand to the sides of my face and I instantly knew what he wanted to do. He wants to fuck my face. 

I stopped the bobbing of my head and he took it as a signal to start thrusting into my mouth. He jerked his hips forward, pushing his cock deeper. His grip on my hair was so tight and I tried my best not to gag as he forced more of his cock in me. His furry balls were slapping on my chin as he fucks my mouth forcefully and I gripped his tights for balance. He was groaning out loud and has been grunting loudly and I knew he's getting closer to climax. I grabbed my boxers and pushed them down and stroked my own erection as he continued to push in and out of my mouth. It didn't take that much and after a few strokes I was shooting my load, some of it landed on his feet. Lancelot came afterwards and started to fill my mouth with lots of his cum. I swallowed it all and I was quickly addicted to its sweet taste. He was trembling and his knees weak because of his orgasm and I had to stand up to stop him from falling down.

"Oh baby... Aw, fuck... I love you." He peppered my face with light and sweet kisses as he held on to me tightly.

"I love you too, Lancelot." 

He hugged me and he fell silent for awhile. That's when I realize that something hard was poking on my legs. Oh. My. God. 

"You're hard again?" I asked

"I'm still hard." He corrected. "I can last all night long." He said with a wink.

I reached down to stroke his still very erect dick. "Good. I want you in me." My ass is dying to get fucked by a cock like his.

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah, make love to me Lancelot." He smiled at me and pushed me down the bed.

"Do you have lube and condoms?"

"Drawer, bedside table."I answered. He opened the drawer and smiled. I was about to ask the reason of his stupid smirk when he pulled out my silicon dildo.

"Someone has been pleasuring himself." Lancelot teased.

"Give me that!"I grabbed the dildo from his hand. I know almost every gay guy out there usually have toys like this but having Lancelot discover that I have a dildo in my drawer is embarrassing. 

"Would you rather have that than...this?" he said as he stroked his cock. I reached for his cock and stroked it as well.

"I want this."I said. He smiled at me and pulled out the bottle of lubricant and condoms. I noticed that he took more than three, and I remembered that he said he said he could last all night. Fuck! What have I gotten myself into? This guy is surely going to make me sore and if that happens, seating down will be a problem tomorrow.

He straddled my hips and pressed his lips onto mine. His kisses were enough to make me hard once again. He licked and sucked the base of my neck afterwards, nibbling slowly towards my right nipple. As his lips sealed around my nipple I felt his hand slid between my thighs, and found my tight hole. He poked and teased its entrance, only rubbing his finger over it at first. Then he took the bottle that was lying next to me and poured lube onto his fingers. Lancelot kissed my other nipple this time and as he was doing this I felt that his hand was back between my legs, a slippery finger touching my hole. I moaned as the finger pushed into me and heard him groan as he slowly fingered my ass.

"Fucking tight baby... can't wait to put my dick inside this sexy hot ass of yours..."

It's been a while since the last time someone had been in me. I really missed the sensation of another person's finger sliding in and out of me and I also can't wait to have his dick pound into me.

"Oh yeah Lancelot... you like my tight ass? Fuck yeah Lance, finger me... "

I felt Lancelot pull out his finger and before I can protest he slowly pushed in two fingers, adding a second one to stretch me more. I screamed as his fingers brushed my prostate, making my dick pulsate and release more pre-cum. His fingers slid back and forth, twisting and turning, preparing me for his cock. I moaned softly as he wrapped his other hand around my shaft and gently stroked my cock. He tugged the hair around it and fondled my balls.

Lancelot applied more lube on his fingers and pushed in three fingers inside me. I was already thrashing and writhing beneath Lancelot. I can't wait any longer, I need him inside me now.

"Oh, Lancelot... Please...I can't...Oh I can't take it anymore..."

"What do you want baby? Tell me what you want and I'll do it"

"Fuck me Lancelot! Fuck me now... I want your huge cock in me..."

Lancelot opened the wrapper then removed the rolled condom out of it. I watched him as he put the latex on the head of his dick and rolled it down, covering his shaft. He took the lube once more, pouring a hefty amount of lube on his hand then spreading it onto his fat dick.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

"Yeah." I nodded.

He raised my left leg, placing my foot over his shoulder, his hand on my thigh. He lined up his cock with my hole and pushed it in, making me gasp as he buried it all the way, not waiting for me to adjust. 

"Fuck! So fucking...tight..." Lancelot groaned. I could feel his large balls and his hairy bush against my ass.

He kissed my lips before asking me if I was okay. I rolled my eyes before answering his question. "It has been a while since a real cock was up my ass. Your cock is definitely longer and fatter than my dildo and my ex-boyfriend's cock, and then you shoved it into me all the way without waiting for me to adjust. And you're asking me if I was okay?"

Lancelot laughed at me. "So you're complaining? Do you want me to pull out?" I felt Lancelot slowly move back, attempting to pull his cock out.

"NO! What the hell were you thinking Mr. Simpson?!" I grabbed his arm and tightened my grip over it to prevent him from moving away. I really like and appreciate that we weren't just fucking, that we were also talking and joking around. 

"Oh, so you want me to do this?" He slid his dick back in, once again hitting that magic button inside of me.

"Yeah! Do it again Lancelot!" I moaned.

"What? This?" He repeated the motion again, his head rubbing against my prostate every time.

I whimpered as Lancelot slid out and pushed back in repeatedly, my hard dick already throbbing and leaking. He took my legs and he put them around his waist as he started moving in and out faster. Lancelot leaned down towards me and I reached up to kiss him and wrap my arms around his sweat covered body. 

"Lancelot...Lancelot...Lancelot...oh yeah drill my ass, fuck me..." I'm noisy when I have sex, so aside from chanting his name over and over again, I was moaning and speaking many incoherent and jumbled sentences telling him he felt so good and telling him not to stop. Lancelot wasn't very quiet either. He was cussing and cursing and making many different sexy sounds. I'm so glad Jessica and her husband was not around.

"I'm getting close Nic..."

I met his thrusts as it got harder and faster, rubbing my prostate with his dick over and over. Loud moans and whimpers from our lips, the squeaking of the bed under our naked bodies, the slapping of his pistoning hips against me were the sounds that can be heard around us. He stroked my dick violently and that made me cum.

"Lancelot!" I cried out his name and gasped as I reached my climax. My body was shaking and trembling as spurts of cum splashed and covered my belly and my chest. I heard Lancelot grunted as my ass milked his cock and he slammed into me one more time before releasing his sperm in the condom. 

"Wonderful...simply wonderful." Lancelot said with a sigh after kissing me for the...I can't remember how many times already. He slumped next to me and pulled me closer to his body. I'm a cuddle whore, and I'm happy that he seemed to like cuddling after having sex too.

"Thank you Lancelot."

"No baby, thank you." He said before kissing me on the forehead. I smiled at him and stifled a yawn.

"Sleep now Niclas."

"I'm not yet sleepy. I'm just tired..."

"Exactly. I'm tired too, so let's sleep."

"But you said you're going to make love to me all night long."I reached down and grabbed his cock. Yep. Still hard.

"I didn't say that." He chuckled.

"Yes, you did." Another yawn.

"I'm not into passive partners babe, I don't want you passing out on me. We have tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, then the day after that and so on. We have all the time in the world now."

"Promise?" I mumbled.

"Promise baby. I love you so much."

That was the last thing I heard before falling asleep in his arms.

***************

I was running my hands all over Lancelot's chest and abs, my head lying on his shoulder. It was obvious that he hadn't been sleeping well the past months and looking at him now while still asleep, he seemed at peace and contented. I looked down towards his crotch and brushed my hand against his flaccid cock, remembering the past night we shared together. I was tempted to wake him up with a blowjob but I immediately pushed the thought out of my mind after I realized that Jessica and Michael are probably awake by now. I haven't heard their car pull on the driveway last night so I have no idea what time they got home. Remnants of dry cum were evident on my stomach and it was starting to itch. I was planning to get up and use the bathroom to clean up when I noticed movement by the bedroom door. The painful sound of Jessica's scream startled me and waked Lancelot. 

"What is he doing here?!" I immediately pulled the covers up while Lancelot grabbed the pillow to cover his naked form.

"Uh... Good morning Jess." Jessica's eyes roamed around the room. Her eyes went to the pile of clothes on the floor, to the bottle of lube and condom wrappers on the bedside table then back to our undressed bodies.

"And you're both naked!" 

Michael heard Jessica screaming and came bursting into the bedroom to check her wife out. "Jess, honey, what's wro-AAHH!" He too was surprised at the sight of two naked gay men inside his house.

"Good morning Michael." My cheeks were already turning pink from all the embarrassment that is happening to us while Lancelot remained quiet next to me.

"Look Jess, we're sorry. Lance came to talk to me last night and..." I wasn't finished talking yet when Jessica interrupted me.

"No, don't apologize! It's okay. Wait it's more than okay! You know what this means honey?!" she said while shaking Michael. "I get to have my old best friend back!"

She was already jumping up and down for joy like a kid on a Christmas morning.

"It's fine Nic. You can have lots of sex here in the house. Just put a sock on the doorknob or something so we know when we shouldn't disturb you. Condoms? Do you need more condoms? Michael give them condoms!" I prayed that someone would kill me and put me out of my misery.

"Did they...?" Michael asked his wife.

"Duh. Isn't it obvious?" Jessica rolled her eyes at him but Michael didn't see that because he noticed something lying on the floor. He walked a few steps towards our bed and bent down to reach whatever it was that he saw before looking back to Jessica.

"What's this?" Michael asked as he raised his arm, my silicon dildo in his hand. This day just couldn't get worse than this.

Jessica gasped, Lancelot made a chuckling sound and I groaned out loud and covered my face with both of my hands.

"Put that down you dork. That's a dildo!" Jessica shouted. "Don't tell me you haven't seen one yet?"

"I haven't." Michael confessed. "So this is what it looks like. Can we have one dear?" He asked as if he was asking his wife if they can have a dog. This is unbelievable.

Lancelot was already laughing hard and Jessica was so shocked by his husband's words. "You want to try one?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah. I'm going to use it on you of course."

Before Jessica could react I interrupted their conversation because I just can't take it anymore.

"Let's stop right there guys. That's too much. I have no interest in finding out ways of how you guys are going to keep your sex life more exciting and interesting. Again, Jess and Michael, I'm sorry about this and I promise this will never happen again." 

"What? But you made me promise that we are going to do this again." Lancelot said.

"That's not what I meant!" I playfully punched his shoulder. "What I mean is we wouldn't be doing this in your house again. I think it's time for me to find my own place." 

"You don't have to. Move in with me baby." Lancelot suggested.

"Okay. Before you discuss that, why don't you guys get something more...uhm...appropriate to cover yourselves? I think I've seen too much." Michael said before pulling her wife out of the room.

"That was crazy." Lancelot grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me.

"Good morning, lover." I said.

"Privacy at last." He sighed. "How's your sleep?"

"Great. How about you?"

"Sleeping with you in my arms is the best thing ever."

***************

I don't hate Monday mornings, it's just not my favorite time of the week. There's something about it that makes me lazy and not want to get up early for work. Or maybe I'm just using that as an excuse for not wanting to leave the bed. Who would want to leave the bed when you have a very naked, gorgeous, six feet four inches male model with a body to die for sleeping beside you?

I was with Lancelot the whole weekend. Saturday night we went out to dinner and met up with Christian and his hot Brazilian boyfriend Adriano for a few drinks after. We went straight to his apartment and since his brother was staying with their sister Lauren, the place was all ours. I had a feeling that Lancelot planned and talked to his brother to go to their sister's house for the weekend so we can have the apartment on our own and have sex all night. He wasn't lying when he said he can last all night long, I was limp and sore when we went to sleep a few minutes before the sun rises.

Lancelot and I woke up very late the following day and he cooked for me. Nothing special, just one of those healthy dishes models like him usually eat for lunch. He's actually an excellent cook, and very sexy as he moved around the kitchen wearing only a thin white apron and nothing else. He tastes good too.

He had to leave for a few hours and he said that he will be back before evening. This gave me free time and an opportunity to finish my sketches. I started doing it last Saturday morning while Jessica was bugging me for "details". Haven't she seen enough? 

I took a very deep breath before going inside Saint's office. Saint was there talking to one of our resident designers, Monique, who was wearing a purple dress and black pumps. Saint was on his usual tight clothing, animal printed skinny jeans, a solid blue shirt with ruffled bib detail, a black and white scarf and a studded black leather jacket. Lizzie and Emman were also inside. They were all waiting for me inside because today I'm going to show him my new designs inspired by the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland. I planned to create interesting, edgy and quirky hats that will match with every look that will walk the runway for our launching. I used dark hues for the jackets, vests and trousers and lighter ones for the shirts. I have a clear vision on my mind of how I want the male models to be styled for the fashion show.




Did I Make The Cut? Ch. 04



"Is that what I think it is?" Saint asked, pointing to the concept board in my hands. Concept boards are used by designers when they begin to work on a collection, primarily used to show ideas to the management team. On my concept board were few of my new sketches, collage of colors and fabric swatches, and different photos of the Mad Hatter to support my chosen theme. 

"Yes." I breathed.

Saint and the others looked and scanned the new sketches for the fashion show. I was very nervous as I sat at one of the couches while I was trying to translate every frown, every nod of their heads and every pout of their lips. Usually designers talk and present the concept themselves, but that's not how Saint works. He wants the sketches to speak for its self, with no influence or any word coming from the designer. They would occasionally whisper at each other, pointing their fingers at certain details of the design and silently discussing. After a few more minutes, Saint raised his head and looked at me.

"So...What do you think? Did you like it?" I asked.

"No." He said. "I love it!" He said with a very big smile on my face. For a moment there I thought I was about to lose my insanity.

"Congratulations Niclas."Monique added. "This is so much better than your first ideas."

"The colors, the shapes, the details. Everything is just superb! Fabulous! And the hats! Ooh the hats are very fashion forward! This is exactly why I hired you Niclas. Well done!"

I left his office with a very satisfied and proud grin plastered on my face. My dream of being the next big thing in the fashion industry and get my designs to get featured in fashion blogs and magazines is about to come true in a few months. The exposure I'm going to receive and the things I will learn while working for Saint is going to help me achieve my goal to be one of the world's greatest designers.

***************

"Guess what." I was speaking to Lancelot over the phone during my thirty minute lunch break.

"What?" Lancelot asked.

"Saint loved my designs!" 

"Great! I knew my baby could do it. You're so talented. Let's celebrate when you get home."

"Home?" 

"Aren't you going to spend the night with me tonight?"

"Levi's already there."

"So what? We'll be quiet." Lancelot chuckled.

"I don't know Lance... I think we should talk to Levi first about me being around more often and your plan about me moving in with you."

"Okay. If that's what you want. But I assure you he'll be fine with it."

"I love you."

"I love you too babe. I have to go now. I'm on my way to meet up with my agency to tell them I'd have to turn down their offer to work overseas. I'll see you later okay? I'll pick you up after work and go out and eat somewhere instead if that's sounds better for you." Thank God he is staying here. It sounds selfish but I just got him back. I'm not willing to let him go and leave me even if it's for his job.

"Okay Lancelot. See you later."

"Bye."

I smiled as I thought of how almost everything in my life was starting to go very well. I have a wonderful career as a creative director working for Saint. I have good people surrounding me and most importantly, I have Lancelot. I simply couldn't ask for more.

***************

"We've got few months left before the launch. We're all going to be so busy." Lizzie said while helping me finish setting up the style board in the design room.

"Everybody's going to be stressed and hysterical the next four months." I said with a laugh.

"You're so right about that you know. Everyone outside the fashion industry thinks that we're all glitz and glamour, that we're all about looking good and fashionable all the time. They have clearly no idea that this is one of the most stressful jobs in the entire world."

"I couldn't agree more."

Lizzie wasn't kidding. Preparing a collection and a fashion show is nerve-racking and traumatic at times. It will push you to your limits, it will drain you and if you're unfortunate, it will give you cancer. Uh...ulcer, I mean ulcer. 

Not only it is stressful but it can get so expensive. It needs a lot of money to be able to present a collection to the buyers and the press. Fabrics, labors, specially made accessories are the typical expenses for the preparation of a collection. Fashion shows costs a lot, its expenses include models, lighting, the catwalk and set design, rental of the facility, hairstylist and make-up artists plus their assistants, music and sound system. For major collections and launches like this, invitations are sent to journalist, as well as to the designer's and manufacturer's best customers. A "run of show" which is a numbered list of models to be shown, is given out at the show. A week after the fashion show a dossier or press kit is prepared and sent to each journalist, the kit includes photos and sketches of a few pieces from the collection, analysis of the collection and biography of the collection. Promotional items like souvenirs and shopping bags with the designer's name helps with the advertising.

But nevertheless, I'm still thrilled and energized to start with all of it. It's going to be hectic, but I have faith in everyone and I know it will be worth it.