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Call Out Your Name Ch. 01

By: cliffgirl08



The first day I met him was the first day at my new high school. Oh boy, was that fun! 

Here I was, popular man on campus at my old school, Sacred Heart High School which is a huge institution —one of the largest Catholic prep schools in the country. I lived in Rancho Martinez, California in the heart of Orange County, and I had the world by the tail. I was the golden boy, made in America. With a soaring six foot height, ripped body and my long, flowing blonde hair and turquoise eyes, I was a chick magnet and everyone wanted to be me. 

I played wide receiver on the Knights football team that won the CIF division crown in December and was ranked tenth in the nation, one of the team's stars with eighteen touchdowns this year alone. I also wrestled at 170 pounds on our squad, looking forward to a stellar season where I expected to be the top grappler in my weight class, and I was a sprinter in track. I could get laid just by asking a girl her name, and I was a good student one semester shy of graduating from high school and heading to a Big-10 or PAC-12 school on a full football scholarship. 

On a personal basis, I had two semi-regular girlfriends. Danae was a tall brunette with a fantastic body who went to Sacred Heart with me. Kristina was at Loara High School, a tiny blonde cheerleader I met when our football teams played each other in September. Duh, they didn't know about each other which was fine by me. I was a typical teenager who loved to Facebook and Skype, get high once in awhile, play videogames with my buds and hang out long boarding on the streets. 

I lived with my mother, Lisa, stepfather, Whit, and twin half-sisters, Suzanne and Roxanne, in an exclusive subdivision of mini-mansions in the Rancho Martinez Hills. My stepdad is, like, loaded and making Mom happy seemed to be his only desire. What made Mom happy was having a big 4,500 square foot house for showing off to the neighbors and entertaining. What did not make Mom happy was me, apparently. 

So there I was on that mid-January Friday which had begun in a decent enough manner. With it being a final exam day, school let out at lunch and the possibilities for the afternoon were endless. I drove home after my last test, so thrilled to be able to boast to my mother about my grades. I knew she would be there because Friday was her hospital auxiliary meeting and they always ended at 11:30. 

I was excited because I was going to get that A- in the Literature class that I'd worked my ass off for all semester, meaning I would have all A's and B's on my report card, something she should be proud of. I had managed with an illocutionary skill that often escaped me to convince my teacher that my term paper on the differences between Classicism and Victorian Poetry deserved a higher grade than a B-, and we reached a compromise. Who'd ever thunk old Ms Haney would be so fair? 

Everything turned to shit the moment I opened the front door and saw the twins. They had their own finals and, for the record, I had no idea how they arrived home ahead of me, but they'd texted me earlier not to wait for them. Anyway, the girls were speaking to Mom in whispered tones, and all of them turned to glare at me. Roxie looked shocked and scared, but Suzie tried to hide an evil grin of triumph behind a look of moral outrage and family embarrassment. 

"Shane," Mom demanded, "what is this nonsense your sisters have been telling me about Owen Turlock's mom catching the two of you naked in bed together on Sunday afternoon?" 

I turned beet red, and I know the look I shot my fourteen-year-old sisters, particularly Suzie, was hurt and incredulous. Like many siblings, especially those in blended homes where the present male parent spoiled his own children and not the one he didn't spawn, we didn't always get along. But this was a new low even for them. 

"I asked you a question, young man." My mother wasn't known for her patience. 

Okay, you know where I said above that I can get all the pussy I want? I can also get dick. I'm bisexual and a damn good equal opportunity player. Owen is this studly, gay Sacred Heart classmate, now graduated and a college freshman, whom I've hooked up with on occasion over the last nine months. He was getting ready to go back to Ohio State after winter break, and I was giving him his going away present... until his mother interrupted us. I barely had time to get redressed before finding myself kicked out of their house. I could hear her shouting at him from a block away. 

Not that I'd said anything to my parents about Owen... or the other half-dozen guys I've fucked. I certainly didn't want them to find out this way. It was none of my sisters' damn business, and right after I got done listening to Mom scolding and threatening me with a near-certain two weeks of being grounded my hands were going to find themselves wrapped around Roxie and Suzie's necks. 

I sighed. "It's true, Mom. I have been trying to find a way for the past year and a half to tell you..." 

My acknowledgment was interrupt by his mother's horrified scream, and then her face twisted into something ugly as she rushed at me. "Gay? You're gay? You can't be. I won't tolerate it." 

I edged around the wall towards the arched doorway into the living room to stay away from her hands that now looked like they wanted to wrap themselves around my neck. 

"No, Mom, I'm not gay. I'm bisexual." 

Wrong answer. If I hadn't been afraid she was going to hit me I might have found the situation funny. In truth, this was the reason I had kept my thoughts to myself. My mom and stepdad are really big in our local church diocese and of course, anything other than straight vanilla heterosexuality is a mortal sin. Deep down, I knew my mother would go to pieces like this once she found out. 

We kept circling each other while I waited for her to calm down so I could get a word in edgewise. On the other hand, maybe not saying anything else would work out better, just as long as she didn't catch up with me. Mom went on and on over how God hated me and I was a freak, and even my sisters blanched at the words she used against her only son, until the final dictum. 

"Get out," Mom said with the quiet determination that I had often feared growing up. If the screaming was scary, this was like the voice of doom. "Get the hell out of my house and don't come back." 

All I could do was stand there gasping with my mouth hanging open and staring at her as if her eyes were spitting fire. She can't kick me out, I thought, I'm her son. She's supposed to love me. 

"Go pack your stuff. I will contact your father, and you better hope to god that he takes your miserable slutty ass in. Whether he does or not, you have twenty-four hours to be out of here." 

"Mom," I began. "I only have one more semester of school. I can't leave now. Everything I've worked for, all my friends..." 

"I don't give a shit!" she screamed. "I won't have a goddamned moral degenerate living in my house, bringing shame down on this family and being a bad influence on your sisters. Get the hell out of my house." 

I started to retort that making me leave was against the law until I realized the power was all in her hands. I was already eighteen, an adult. Legally, she didn't have to give me squat. I turned on my heel and walked to my bedroom to find a way to crowd everything I owned and a lifetime of memories into a few bags and boxes. 

Just so you know how crazy this all sounds, I hadn't seen my father for almost five years. He has visitation rights that he's rarely used, and I don't know whether he didn't feel it was worth the effort to haggle over weekends and holidays with Mom or something else was afoot. What mattered most to me was that I was moving away from the place I'd called home almost my whole life and going to live with a stranger. 

My disgruntled father flew down from Calberia, a small town near Santa Barbara, the next day so I could drive both of us back to live with him. Ever heard of Calberia? I'm not surprised. That's because the place Dad calls home is a village on the coast of around twenty-nine hundred people. To do the math, that's about three-quarters as many people that attended my old high school, and we're talking about men, women and children here. It was the rural burg with one main street, a Pizza Hut for fast food and a really tiny high school with a few lame-ass sports teams that don't do nothing spectacularly. I'm sure you can tell just how thrilled I was to move there. I hated Calberia with a passion before I ever stepped foot in it. 

Four days later I was enrolled in Calberia Junior and Senior High School, a set of squat, ugly, yellow-stuccoed buildings in a rectangular campus that was forty years old and desperately needed to be demolished. Yeah, this stupid little postage stamp of a town isn't even big enough to provide a separate school for its sixth, seventh and eighth graders. I was so looking forward to having immature twelve-year-olds on campus. Not! 

I contemplated my future bleakly. There's a lot that goes into applying for a university, especially when you're a jock and hope to play college ball. For sure, Mom and Whit weren't going to give me money for tuition, and my father couldn't afford it. Any scholarships I was being offered were most likely secure seeing as the season was over and my grades were good. However, I was counting on advanced studies in English, Government and Math which they didn't have here. That would suck if my only ticket out of California was in jeopardy too. 

There was no wrestling squad, and I doubted track was a big attraction since their football program is 8-man ball. Thank God I was graduating in five months. I was a new student in the middle of my senior year, and the way people stared at me, you would've thought I was Medusa with a head full of snakes for hair instead of my long blonde locks. It was sobering to go from Mr. Popular to zero on the social scale in one fell swoop. 

But then I was crossing the quad after 2nd period on, I hate to admit it, a pretty winter day, wondering what the term MLbB on my new schedule meant. I heard laughter, looked up and saw a trio of students my age. Two boys and a girl were ten yards in front of me, talking loudly and caroming off each other hard like they wanted to knock their opponents down. One of them was the most beautiful person in the world. Raven hair, a wavy black so dark it had streaks of blue in it under the sunny sky and fluttering neck-length around his ears like little wings. 

He had a triangular face, wide in the forehead with a long, straight nose and pointed chin. Very pretty but not in a feminine way, and the confidant way he moved was definitely not girlish. His lips were perfectly formed over straight, white teeth you see in those dentist's ads in the telephone book. His pale, golden eyes were unusual, like shiny marbles with long dark lashes, and they glowed next to his olive skin. He was dressed in a t-shirt from my favorite band, The Offspring, which definitely gave him points in my book and Levis skinny jeans that draped his legs as if they went on forever. All this was set into a slim, lithe frame reminding me of a dancer in the cultural programs my mom enjoyed watching on television. 

Oh yeah, did I say this person was male? 

He most definitely was. Gorgeously, strikingly male. Totally hot and so cute. Sparks danced around me, a warm breeze blew through my mind, and if anyone had been staring at me, I'm pretty sure they would have seen me drooling. 

I was smitten. It's on old-fashioned word, but that was the best description I could come up with. 

I was all set to go up and ask this beautiful stranger what MLbB meant when some teacher walked by, correctly assuming I was new- duh, the whole school had less than seven hundred students in it, so a new student might as well wear a sign that says kick me, I don't belong here. She asked if I needed directions and pointed me in the direction of Math Lab B... down the sidewalk to the four hundred wing and turn left. By the time I looked up Totally Hot Cutie was gone. 

Fifth period after lunch—at least they have decent food in this crappy institution of education—and it was time for English with Mrs. Coates. Not Ms, Mrs. I was stopped by the teacher outside before I walked in, showed her my schedule, and she told me which desk in the classroom was free- the row closest to the door, next-to-last seat. I dumped my backpack on the floor, getting a few quizzical looks from the girl in front of me, and took in my surroundings. That's when I saw my dream boy again. Totally Hot Cutie was perched on the other side of the room, holding court with five or six other class members, all of them talking loudly. 

With less distance between us now, I could see that he was definitely only an inch or two shorter than me and very slender, but with the way he'd been jumping around earlier he probably had a really high metabolism and burned off calories fast. I had never seen hair so black as his; he didn't give the impression of a Hispanic heritage, but maybe there was some Mediterranean blood running through his veins with that lovely olive complexion. His pretty eyes were a sparkling tawny shade, too dark to be called hazel and too light for plain old brown. They were lit as if by some inner fire that made his face come alive, or at least half of it. Totally Hot Cutie's smile did the rest. 

That smile went straight to my head. Then it went to my cock, and I was glad I was sitting where I could pull my t-shirt down and hide it. The grin was happy, like he was secure in himself and his surroundings, exactly where he wanted to be without a care in the world. I envied him, to tell the truth. I couldn't stop staring; his grin was infectious and so brilliant it could power a small city. 

His voice was deep and warm, like a soothing cup of dark hot chocolate on a cold day and the way he spoke was crisp. On some it might seem affected but it sounded natural coming out of his mouth. There were at least three conversations going on around him, and he seemed to be in the middle of all of them, effortlessly keeping track of what each participant said and responding to questions posed to him. Not only that, but he didn't act like the students clustered around his desk were a nuisance even though a few crowded him. 

I willed Totally Hot Cutie to look up and see me. I didn't have the balls to bounce over there and introduce myself to him—hey, I knew nothing about him and sure as hell wasn't willing to put myself out there until I did, but I've been told my smile is playful and inviting. I figured all I needed to do was turn on the old Shane Elliott charm. I've turned more than one straight boy bisexual in my past. 

The bell rang, and a short, rather pudgy Asian kid came bounding through the door yelling, "Hey, Jesse, I found your music," and waving a folder around. The one formerly known as Totally Hot Cutie and now Jesse gave him a big thumbs up and reached out to take it from him. The teacher sent a scowl in their direction. 

"Kwan Park, find your seat now," Mrs. Coates told him firmly, insisting on order that didn't seem wise to ignore. 

"Students, this is Shane Elliott," she called out in an imposing voice, indicating me. "Do your best to make him welcome." I received a lot of stares as attention was riveted on me, but Jesse didn't even look up. 

They were studying John Keats, the young English romantic poet from the early nineteenth century that I did a term paper on for my other school earlier in the year. I knew a lot about him and idly hoped an essay would be assigned so I could use it again but I didn't raise my hand and volunteer information when Mrs. Coates asked for it. Best not to over-shine the first day just in case. 

Various students in the class turned to me in silent examination, probably judging me by my looks and I kept my focus on the front. When the bell rang ending class I was immediately besieged by three girls who sat nearby. Katie, Jasmine and Raven introduced themselves, flirting with me, and wanted to talk my ear off about how awesome Calberia was and wasn't it grand that I was in their high school? I didn't offer my real opinion, and by the time I extricated myself, Jesse was gone. 

School ended after 6th period, and I drove to my dad's house. It's a three bedroom, two bath ranch built in the mid-1980s, and just over fourteen hundred square feet, about the size of my mom and Whit's bedroom suite. Ken, my father, is an accountant in a small business in Santa Barbara, and he and mom divorced when I was four. To listen to her, Dad was laziest SOB on the planet. He calls her a money hungry skank who wanted the finer things in life but was unwilling to lower herself and get a job and help work for them. All I know is that she latched on to Whit, and Dad is still slaving way in Calberia. 

It was only three o'clock so, naturally, Dad wasn't home yet. Hey, it could have been eight and he wouldn't be here. My father isn't really big on time schedules, and I guess he doesn't think I need anyone hanging around keeping tabs on me either. If he isn't at the office, he's at this bar called Leroy's in the city where he stops every night after work. Or he's playing poker with five friends of his, including my Uncle Carl. 

Or he's with his girlfriend, Jillian Gallegos. I met her the day after I arrived and she's nice. She's this tiny women with a short cap of light brown hair and green eyes, but I could feel the strength radiating from her in trying to keep my father in line. She welcomed me to the area, but she made it pretty clear that she never expected to have to parent Dad's son. Not that I want her to. 

It's kind of a weird situation to be eighteen and suddenly thrust into a world where I wasn't wanted. I'm not saying my dad doesn't love me, but it was obvious that his arm was severely twisted when Mom kicked me out. I think the only thing he likes about me living with him is that he doesn't have to pay child support to her anymore. He gave me a dirty look when he found out why I was being shipped off to his house and told me that he wouldn't put up with me fagging around any more than she did. 

I spent half an hour unpacking the rest of my stuff and trying out different arrangements of my bedroom furniture. I finished the homework packet for Trigonometry and a Government assignment that wasn't due for three days. There was nothing on the boob tube. I was so bored. 

I made a fast dinner of boxed macaroni and cheese, canned peaches and leftover broccoli from last night's meal. After eating, I cleaned up my mess which was one of the few rules my dad had set when I moved in and then flopped down on my bed. It was only seven and, feeling homesick, I decided to call some of my old friends from Rancho Martinez, starting with my best friend, Gordie. 

"Hey dude," he yelled when he answered his cell. "How's jail?" 

Gordie was the first person I'd phoned after finding out I would have to move to my dad's and we had commiserated for over an hour. Not that I gave him the whole picture... my bi side was something I only shared on a need-to-know basis, like with the guys I planned to fuck. Definitely not with the general population at Sacred Hills High... a man needs some mystery, right? 

I merely told him my mother was pissed off because I couldn't get along with Suzie and Roxie and sent me to live with Dad. However, not one of my friends, not even Gordie who I've known since first grade, offered me so much as a couch to sleep on temporarily so I wouldn't have to move. 

"Dull as fuck," I huffed angrily. "It sucks, man. The itty-bitty school up here is totally hick. Nobody wrestles, and their track team is probably lame-ass too. I am so screwed!" 


Call Out Your Name Ch. 01



"Look at the bright side," he laughed. "You'll be the track star, the big man on campus." 

"Har-har, so not funny," I sneered. "I already was the big man on campus with a decent rep. I hate it here." 

"Yeah, but you only have five months before you're out. Maybe you can come back over the summer." 

I contemplated this, knowing my life in Rancho Martinez was completely in my mom's hands. "Maybe," I answered in an uncertain voice. A guy could always dream, I guess. 

"So is living with the other 'rent as bad as your mom?" Gordie wisely switched subjects. 

"Nah, he doesn't give a shit. He's, like, never home, so once I find someone to hang with up here, if that's even possible in this hell hole, I'll be free to do whatever I please and he won't fucking know the difference." 

"Sweet," he judged my situation, seeing only the positives. He didn't have to spend all his time by himself. 

"So how is the crew?" I asked, tracing my finger over the square pattern on my navy quilt. 

For the first time Gordie didn't have an immediate reply. "Uh, ah man, I hate to have to be the one to break it to you, but Danae is already going out with someone else." 

"Who?" I screeched loudly. 

Danae was my girlfriend. One of them. My most regular girl, the one at Sacred Heart. I had barely been gone from Rancho Martinez for four days and, from what he was saying, it didn't sound as if she had wasted any time finding someone to take my place. Not that I had any intention of being faithful, but I thought she'd at least have the decency to be less public about it. 

"Randy Dawson," he said in a diffident voice. "They showed up at school yesterday morning holding hands." 

"What the fuck, Gordie. That bastard!" Randy was another of my best friends, make that former friend. "How serious?" 

Another pause. "According to gossip straight from Danae, you don't want to know, Shane." 

"Fuck and double fuck," I swore heatedly. It was bad enough that Randy couldn't stay out of her pants, but for her to be happy about it? Damn, they were trashing my creds. 

We bitched back and forth for awhile about the capriciousness of 'out of sight, out of mind' friendship. Then we zeroed in to encompass slutty-ass girlfriends before he changed the subject to general gossip around school and what the sports teams were doing. By the time he hung up, I was feeling sorry for myself and in a foul mood. Foul enough to call my mother and beg her to let me come home." 

"No, Shane," she stated with finality in her voice. "You stay up in Calberia. You can't live here." 

"Why?" I cried. "What about all that forgiveness the church preaches? It's all fine when you're talking about other people but you can't even forgive your own son?" 

"This isn't about forgiveness. It's about the way you act and the example you set for Roxie and Suzie." 

Oh my god, did she mean what she just said? "You're afraid I'm going to turn them into lesbos, Mom? That isn't how it works. Besides, Suzie has already slept with half the freshman basketball..." 

"Watch what you say about your sisters, young man!" 

Okay, I guess that was the wrong tact, seeing as she'd never believe anything negative about Whit's darling girls, so let's try this again and begin with an apology. "Sorry, but... What I'm trying to say is that this isn't a choice of mine. It's the way God made me." 

"You leave God out of this, Shane. That is a terrible thing to say." 

What the fuck! Mom is an intelligent, college-educated thirty-nine year old woman. How could she be so closed-minded and ignorant about my lifestyle? You would think she'd be willing to take the time to go online and investigate, at least for the sake of her own son. 

"Mom, please don't do this to me. I hate it here." I begged, near tears and feeling the conversation getting away from me. "You're messing up my entire life. Gordie says that Danae is already dating another guy. There are no AP classes up here. No sports teams. Just some stupid hicksville country school with less than a hundred seniors. What about my scholarship for college? I'm losing everything I love." 

"Well maybe you should have thought about that before you jumped into bed with Owen Turlock." 

Now I was crying. "Can't you give me another chance? What if I promise not to... uh, do anything like that again? You know, just stick to girls." I wasn't sure I could live up to such a promise but it was worth a try. 

Mom actually paused a moment to think. "No, Shane, this is the best solution for everyone. Stay up there with your father. I'm sure your scholarship is secure. You graduate in June and will be on your way to college in a little over six months. Then you can live however you choose and I won't have to deal with it." 

Deal with it? It sounded as if Mom was willing to write me out of her life completely. 

I flipped my cell phone closed, the desire to throw it against the wall strong, but I fought it because if I broke the damn thing, Dad probably wouldn't pay to replace it. I stomped around the house for half an hour and finally settled for gulping down half a tumbler of Dad's cheap rum. It burned going down and then it turned me maudlin, but at least I was able to cry it all out before I fell asleep in my clothes. 





Call Out Your Name Ch. 01



Jesse took the seat across from me and continued to give me the stink eye. "What?" I asked in mounting irritation. 

"Nothing," he finally muttered, pulling his binder from his backpack. 

"Okay then, let's get to work." 

We whipped out our copies of the essay instructions, breaking apart the work into manageable chunks. I showed him the materials I'd located in the library as well as some sites online we could get information from. 

"I already learned about the Brontës in my old English class," I explained tersely. "I still have my notes. Part of a term paper I did was on their novels, so if you like we can use it too." 

He studied me for about fifteen seconds before answering, and then it was only a short nod. Hey, don't fall all over yourself in gratitude because I just saved your ass eight hours worth of annotating and typing, you dick. I shook my head and tried to concentrate on something besides getting annoyed. 

For the next half-hour we went over my information, deciding what was relevant and what wasn't. We were cross referencing terms and dates and discussing the writing styles, but I could see that Jesse was going to have trouble talking himself into reading either novel seriously since they were both dry and romantic. Maybe Heights would be easier because it was narrated by a male and Healthcliff was more sympathetic and less abrupt than the men in Jane Eyre. 

We were working on our own, using our laptops to look up study guides and read interpretations of the novels. I watched Jesse gradually relax through my lashes. He really was fine to look at, especially when his mouth wasn't all squished up in anger or his eyes didn't flash in fear. 

"You're kind of cute when you let your guard down." The words spewed forth before I even thought about the wisdom of uttering them. Oh well, there's nothing like laying your cards on the table, and if what the Butler kid said about him was true, I was announcing my position loud and clear. 

His head shot up. "What did you say?" Fortunately he only sounded shocked. 

I raised an eyebrow and grinned. "I said I think you're cute." 

"You can't possibly believe that," he responded, his voice low with astonishment. He was fighting to keep his face blank but his eyes were glittering with some emotion between hope and despair. 

"Well, I do," I answered with conviction. "You don't need to be all down about yourself like that." 

I decided to let it go for now and went back to work on the note-taking, allowing him to decide whether to trust me because I had pushed enough for one day. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him open his binder and remove a single piece of notebook paper folded in half twice. He looked like he wasn't sure what to do next until, with a flick of his eyes in my direction, he laid it on the table between us. 

Glancing at it only briefly, I noticed that it was standard wide-ruled paper and leaking through it were large but indistinguishable words in green marker. They were, of course, backwards from the wrong side of the sheet, so I couldn't make them out, and two corners had been torn off around the edge. Not knowing the significance of the note, I ignored it. 

Five minutes went by in which Jesse kept watching me surreptitiously. When he spoke, his voice had a curious vibe but mostly sounded relieved. He fingered the sheet. "You don't know what this is, do you." 

"It's a piece of paper." Duh! Stating the obvious, that was me, and I fixed Jesse with a bewildered smile. 

He, on the other hand, broke into a smile of pure delight, leaving me more confused than ever. 

"What's so important about it?" I asked, holding out my hand as if I expected him to hand it to me. Which he did. I unfolded the paper and written in large green letters was 'My OO R on U, Jesse.' 

I raised my eyebrows. "Double O? What does that mean?" It looked like a valentine written by a second grader. By somebody who was colorblind. 

He laughed, but it wasn't happy. "They represent eyes. See the dots inside?" 

Now that he mentioned it, I did. A faint green dot inside each O made them look cross-eyed. I grinned, hoping the answer was becoming clearer and deciding it was worth the risk to find out. "So somebody likes you and you thought it was me? I mean, I'm not that brave to send an anonymous card like that uninvited." 

"This isn't the first one," Jesse explained, his face muddling back into sadness and disappointment. He reached back into his binder and brought out a similar sheet of paper. When he opened it up, I could see that it wasn't a love note at all. They were both threats. The new one announced, 'U wil git wat U desurv'. 

"Holy shit!" The spelling was crappy, but my eyes bugged out and I gasped. "Someone is stalking you?" 

Jesse nodded. "There are a couple bullies here at school who know I'm gay, but it's no big deal. Last year was worse and I used to just get defensive and mad, but now it's easier to walk away." 

"Mark Butler," I mentioned. "I saw him that day in the quad. I thought you handled yourself well." 

My praise made him squirm a little, but he looked more abashed than anything. "Thanks. He's a junior. Last year I had to deal with him and his older brother, Mitchell, who was an even bigger nightmare. Four inches taller than me, dumb and mean. Then he graduated, and I decided I wasn't going to let Mark push me around like that anymore. It isn't worth stressing myself out over." 

He indicated the threats with his chin. "I'm really sorry I thought it was you. I received the first one shoved in my locker two days after you started school here. Putting two and two together, it seemed too coincidental..."

I felt myself get irritated and set my mouth to retort, but then I stopped, considering the circumstances. The bad timing of these threats was hardly either of our faults, and if I'd been him I probably would have believed the same of me. It certainly explained Jesse's peculiar behavior and fear over the past month, but at least he had the balls to be frank about it and not hide behind excuses or platitudes. 

Jesse was still talking. 

"...The first note said something like, 'It ain't safe 4 U to be queer.' I threw it in the trash because it didn't seem like a big deal. I just thought someone was trying to be a douche, not really a threat. But the way second one was written," he indicated the letter in his hand, "made me take it more seriously. And then I found the one you're holding taped to my car's windshield today after school." 

This explained his anger at me when he walked in. My mouth was hanging open and I closed it. "Damn, Jesse, what are you going to do?" 

He shrugged. "I hope it's some prank and the person behind it will get bored if I don't respond. So for now, nothing." 

I started to tell him that he shouldn't try to handle this on his own and needed an adult's opinion, but frankly, who was I to give advice? The idea that he was willing to open up and trust me after the past month was gratifying. 

"At least, don't throw any more away," I suggested, handing the newest one back to him. "You'll need them if this turns more serious." 

"Thanks," Jesse went on, candidly studying my face for anger. Or as if he expected to find the answer to a puzzle there. "I'm sorry I misjudged you. You aren't like that, are you? At least, I don't think you are; otherwise, I'm in a mess of trouble." 

He was so earnest, almost boyish, and I fought back appreciative laughter so I wouldn't hurt his feelings. I wanted to jump up and down in cheers because Jesse seemed equally in like with me and it was a huge relief. It felt pretty damn good to get this out in the open now that I knew where his mistrust came from. 

"No, I'm not," I agreed with an encouraging smile. "I don't threaten people. I'd rather be the new kid sending the cute gay boy a real valentine telling him that I like him and hope to ask him out." 

Jesse's face lit up again in eager hope, and I swear, I could tell exactly what he was feeling just by looking at him. He had the most expressive eyes I had ever seen. I was already making plans to get lost in them. 

"This is going to sound stupid but even when I was worried about you being my stalker I thought you were cute too." Jesse blushed and fidgeted with the notes in his hand. 

Oh good, I thought happily. Mutual attraction, what the best sex was built on. And then we were grinning at each other like fools. Jesse had his hand lying on the table between us and I reached over and put my hand on top of his and squeezed gently. We were the only ones in the back of the library so the librarians must have been busy in the front. I knew I was being discreet, and I wanted him to know precisely how I felt about him. 

He smiled at me shyly and linked his fingers into mine, and all the ambiguous feelings I had been harboring against him disappeared. He wasn't conceited and being difficult; he was being harassed and was afraid that I was behind it. There was a world of difference. 

We got back to work on the project, but I can't say we accomplished much. I kept darting quick glances at him, and peripherally, I noted him doing the same thing, his cheeks reddening up nicely every time he got caught. 

"Can we go somewhere tonight?" he asked quietly. "Out to dinner or the movies, maybe?" 

I smiled saucily and nodded. "Give me you cell number and I'll put it in my phone." He relayed the digits, and I immediately sent him a text message."Now you have mine too. Let me know when and where." 

Jesse picked me up at 5:30 and we went into Santa Barbara. After we grabbed two very tasty orders of cheeseburgers, milkshakes and fries from some mom and pop diner that was rumored to be famous, he took me to the multiplex to see Safe House with Ryan Reynolds and Denzel Washington. It was a rather predictable action flick that wasted the talents of the cast but it was worth groaning over the film since I got to do it with Jesse. Being a drama student, he was able to point out to me where the production was just plain bad and we laughed and made fun. 

All in all, I had a wonderful time. The movie had only been out for four days but the theater wasn't crowded, especially in the back where we chose to sit. Once the lights went down I snaked my hand over and grabbed Jesse's and we stayed that way through the whole two hours. His palm was dry in mine, but he was running the pads of his fingers around my knuckles and it was getting me wound up in a good way. I was glad of the dark because my cock was trying to burst through my zipper. 

It was shortly after 9:30 when Jesse pulled his silver Jeep Wrangler into my driveway, and I sighed silently. The house was dark so I knew my dad wasn't home, meaning he was spending the night with Jillian like he did almost every night of the week. It was so silent outside I could hear a coyote yipping way on the other side of the canyon at the end of the street. 

On the bright side, I didn't have anyone keeping tabs on me or watching through the living room window to see who I was kissing. Strangely, even though I was used to taking the lead in these types of situations, I hung back, all of a sudden insecure. He turned off the engine and I think we both felt awkward, not really knowing what to do next. I could see Jesse's teeth glowing in the dimness. 

"Thanks for a great night," I said sincerely before climbing out of the cab. "Next time I'll pay." I hoped there was going to be a next time because I wasn't picking up any signals at all from him. 

Jesse jumped out of his door and followed me up the sidewalk to the porch, nodding at the unlit windows. I was fumbling in my pocket for my keys. "Do your parents go to bed early?" he asked. 

"It's just my dad and me," I corrected. "He's a heavy sleeper." This early in the game, without me knowing him very well, I was ashamed to tell him I was alone most of the time. 

"Good," he whispered hoarsely, stepping towards me and leaning in. I caught his body in my arms and I wrapped them around his back. 

Reaching to splay his fingers around my neck, he slowly pulled my mouth down, and I could see desire swirling through his pale golden eyes just before he closed them. The first brush of his cool lips against mine was soft but it sent a bolt of passion coursing through me. Oh fuck, he felt so good and I wanted nothing more than to kiss that pretty mouth back. 

Tilting my head for a better fit, I felt his full, moist lips tug at mine once more and it was like an electric current lighting me up inside. Slow and gentle turned into urgent when I felt his tongue seeking entry, and I parted my lips to accept it. He lost no time in gauging my response, but there was no struggle for dominance. I sucked on his tongue and just let it eagerly explore my mouth. 

I pressed myself closer so our bodies lined up. Of course, the inevitable happened; I began to get hard. Shivering, I begged my cock to remain soft but it had a mind of its own and continued to grow and twitch in my jeans. I was afraid of Jesse feeling it, and I tried to lessen the contact between us, but instantly it didn't matter. My hard-on was being matched with a steely column of his own, and we moaned together as the two trapped lengths skated against each other. 

Kissing Jesse made me feel new and alive but all too soon we had to unlock because I was getting faint from lack of air. I knew his lust-filled eyes matched mine. My heart was pounding so fast it was almost painful and his hand was feeling up under my shirt to find my pectoral. 

My nipples were already rigid. When his fingers skimmed one, it made me tremble and I went hot and cold at the same time. He pushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear, thumbing my bottom lip gently before angling his mouth for another slow kiss. The desire between us spread, hands moving against skin, dicks straining and tongues firmly entwined. 

"Damn, Shane, I could stay here kissing you all night." His deep voice was filled with regret as he pulled away at last and his long, black lashes fluttered against my cheek. "But I need to get home. It's a school night, and I have a curfew." 

"I wish you could too," I sighed sadly. "That was fucking unbelievable." 

"I haven't been turned on like this in... a long, long time." He gulped, lightly running his fingers over my shoulder and I could feel the emotions raging inside him. 

I tightened my hold on him, afraid to let him go because then I'd be alone again. But I didn't want to act overly needy or cause him trouble so I gave him a quick kiss and stood back. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, Jesse." 

He squeezed my hand and with a light glaze of his lips he was gone. I could still smell his cologne when I went inside, and I jacked off to memories of our kisses and fell asleep. 





Call Out Your Name Ch. 02



Over the next couple of weeks I began to get my bearings in the community. 

I spent Saturdays and Sundays working for my Uncle Carl on his boats. I guess it's in my blood because I took to running them like a fish to water. By my fourth week out I already knew how to pilot them in and out of the harbor and guide them into their slips with barely a bump. Even working the sonar and navigating to the best fishing grounds wasn't too difficult. 

I liked the Sorsha Lynn best; she responded easier, and the other three men employed as crew members when we took out fishing charters were young and easy to get along with. They all had connections to some good-quality weed and sometimes bought it for me behind Carl's back. For a man who used enough herb himself, he took exception to me getting high, maybe because he was afraid I'd be careless or do something that would reflect badly on his business. I like to think it was because he cared about me. 

Outside of the work that was giving me a taste of the real world and earning me some pocket change, there was school where I was holding my own. It was my grounding point where I could see Jesse every day. 

He had met me at the front entrance of the high school the morning following our first movie date. Lifting to reach my mouth, he tried to kiss me and I backed up, startled. The chill that swept over his face pierced me, and he said in a low voice, "What's wrong?" 

I felt ashamed of myself but this wasn't something I could do in front of the student bodies, even if there were only seven hundred of them. I had always been a very cautious guy, and still with the care I'd taken to keep my bisexual side hidden look what had happened in Rancho Martinez. I wanted to trust Jesse, but this was such a new and different situation I was all kinds of afraid. 

"I like you, Jesse," I said slowly, gazing around carefully to make sure nobody else was listening in. "But I can't do shit like kiss you in public." 

He hitched up an eyebrow. "Seriously, Shane?" 

"Please don't judge me," I begged. "It is very hard for me to trust people." 

"Last night you were acting a lot like you wanted to be with me," Jesse did a half-turn and crossed his arms in disdain. "Was that playing me?" 

"No," I exclaimed in a rush before he lost all belief in me. "No, it wasn't. But my last... my last boyfriend, um... it ended in a bad way. Lots of drama that was too out there to handle." 

The harsh set of his face told me that he needed more convincing. "I'm not embarrassed about being with you. I think I just need time, okay? Please give me time." 

He studied me for interminable seconds while I bit my lip. "I really do care about you," I whispered, fiercely hoping to convince him. "I want to try to build something between us because the spark is already here." 

I put my hand over my heart and the edges of his mouth curved upwards, like he was fighting a smile. "You are such a sap," he muttered with a leer. Finally he came to a decision. "Alright, we'll do it your way for now. Friends at school, boyfriends or whatever you call it everywhere else." 

"Outside Calberia," I amended, and he rolled his eyes. This was such a small town that gossip would travel from one end to the other with the force of a tornado. 

"Fine," Jesse grumbled, and we walked through the front gate like the best of friends. 

I thought I had a fairly good self-image... well, apart from how my parents made me feel. Now I was beginning to doubt myself. My discomfort in talking about them carried over into those early days, and I found myself doing the same thing with Jesse that I had with my friend, Gordie. I ran circles around the real reason I was living with my father and tried to make light of it. But I had to tell him something because we were saw each other every day; whereas, Gordie was just a long-distance friend... well, something like that. 

"Moving to Calberia is more like me coming home," I explained. We were back in the library working out the newest details on our English term paper a couple days after our first date. "My mom and dad both grew up in town, and I was born here." 

"Hmm, I wonder if they know my family," Jesse excitedly mused. 

"I doubt it," I answered scornfully. "Mom wouldn't admit to being from Calberia in a million years, and my father doesn't spend enough time with his head out of his ass to know anyone local except his girlfriend, my uncle and a couple poker pals." 

"Who is your uncle?" 

"You know Carl Weatherby, the guy who rents out his big boats to take people out on the ocean to fish and dive?" Jesse nodded, placing his binder in his backpack, and my eyes snapped in pride. "He's my mom's brother. I work for him on the weekends." 

"So how did you end up moving away?" 

I shrugged. "My parents split up when I was really little. Most of what I remember of my early life was them constantly bickering with each other. Not having enough money and stuff. Anyway, one day when I was three and a half my mom just put me in the car and we left. We ended up in Rancho Martinez and moved in with Whit, my step-dad. Mom must have been having an affair with him for a long time before she ever left Dad." 

"Where's Rancho Martinez?" 

"Orange County, northeast of Disneyland." 

Jesse got a huge smile on his face. "Disneyland, huh? My mom and sister took me there three years ago. We stayed for two days and had so much fun." 

"Yeah, well try going nine times in one year." I rolled my eyes. "Whit bought us all annual passes when I was thirteen, and every time relatives came out to visit we went to Disneyland. It got old after awhile." 

"So what happened with you and your mom?" Getting back to my story. 

I laughed ruefully. "She was already pregnant with my twin sisters when we left Calberia. Whit's their bio dad. Of course that's the real reason Mom left my father. She and Whit got married after her divorce was final. Plus, he's some trust fund baby so he could give Mom a lot more than my dad could financially." 

"Oh, I see now." Jesse's eyes lit up in understanding while his brows flew into his hairline. And he probably figured he did, based on what I'd told him about my constant squabbling with Roxie and Suzie. 

When I started seeing Jesse, what consciously began to run through my head was how lucky I was to be his choice for a boyfriend. I was knowingly falling in love with him and it was a scary confession for me to make. I didn't think I'd ever been in love before. Crushes yes, but not love. Certainly not with Owen and the other boys I'd fucked in Rancho Martinez, and not even with any of my former girlfriends. 

I wished there was a way I could be be with Jesse all the time, and there was even a part of me that realized how much easier my life would have been if he was a girl. I hastily stomped on that thought and focused on how amazing he made me feel when we were together and how I wanted to be a better person for him. 

His was perfection I never got tired of looking at. Five-foot-ten and built like a beanpole, but there was nothing weak or slack about him. Dancing made him graceful, and he seemed to be all leg. His nose had just the barest of hooks on the end that gave his face character, and with his olive coloring his cheeks shone more peach than pink when he blushed. Huge golden eyes edged in the thick blackness of his lashes and those soft, full lips. Jesse was made to be loved. 

He was a big part of helping me through the rough spots in the coming days as he introduced me to students he knew and they decided to befriend me for his sake. Most of them were in the drama or music department; they weren't the most popular students at Calberia High, but they were nice enough. I truly appreciated Jesse trying to integrate me into some sort of social set. I told myself it was only for three months anyway. 

We completed the Brontë sisters English project and got an A on it which surprised him a lot. He's very smart, but he had an undiagnosed dyslexia problem as a child that kept him from understanding the material he read and it wasn't discovered until he was in seventh grade. In school, it's all about comprehension, and he's been struggling ever since to catch up. Getting such an exceptional grade was like a '10' on the Richter scale for him. 

He lived with his mother, his grandfather, an older sister named Jenna and her three-year-old son close to the freeway on the other side of town. Sandra Capps, his mom, had given birth to her older child while still in her teens and never had the advantage of a college education. She worked two, sometimes three jobs to pay the bills, mostly because his grandpa was a retired Vet who had been severely wounded in Vietnam. His injuries did not require nursing care, but he couldn't work and it made him peevish to feel useless. 

Jesse's sister was trying to balance a job and her sophomore year at UC Santa Barbara with motherhood. They were native to the area and he had a large extended family, including a cousin named Chad who was in his early twenties and his best friend too. Chad was the only one of his relatives who knew he was gay. 

As Jesse described it, he wasn't afraid of making his mother angry; he simply didn't want to disappoint her. She had never stinted in her love for him and lived for her two children. His grandfather, however, was another story. A career Marine, he had an old-fashioned view of what made a man a man and gay was definitely not okay. He would never do anything to hurt Jesse physically, but he had a temper and a sharp tongue, and his caustic remarks would be difficult to live with. 

Jesse and I were totally simpatico. Like there were so many things we shared in common it was rather scary. We loved The Offspring, the native Californian punk rock band that has been around for almost thirty years. I had to admit that my zeal wasn't as fanatical as Jesse's, but I admired his style. He had t-shirts from all the major tours, some vintage. He knew the lyrics to all the songs by heart. He owned every studio and greatest hit CD and DVD they had ever put out as well as vinyls of both Smash and Ignition. Neither of us could afford tickets for their Days Go By tour, but we both had the CD and agreed that Americana was a far better album. 

Of course, we both wanted the current marriage laws to reflect that love didn't depend on gender so we were both registered Democrats. Money wasn't important—okay, we didn't want to be destitute, but being happy and feeling that we were making a difference in this world counted more than being rich. Honesty, even blunt honesty, won out every time over lies spoken in false sympathy. What we liked to wear, favorite sports teams, what we construed as humor... we should have been twins. 

Let's see. We both hated chocolate icecream. Our favorite soft drink was Dr. Pepper, and we tried to stay away from processed foods. Neither of us could have pets because I was allergic to dogs and his face swelled up around cats. Our favorite color was blue. We had lived all of our lives without grandmothers; Mom's parents resided in Florida and refused to budge, and my dad's mother died when I was a baby. Jesse had no idea who his father was which nixed the grandmother role, and Sandra's mother was also long gone. 

We started meeting up at the far end of the cracked asphalt lot after the school day where we took to parking our cars next to each other so we could talk intimately without being overheard. After noticing that no one was really paying attention to us, I stopped minding him standing so close that our bodies touched. 

"Can you come over tonight?" I asked quietly a couple days after our first date. "My dad goes directly from work to see his girlfriend in the evenings so I'm alone at home." 

His eyes darkened dramatically, like he was contemplating the two of us in the house without supervision, and he nodded. "Let me go home, do my homework and get something to eat." 

"I'll cook dinner for you," I offered. I was tired of thrown-together food out of boxes and having nobody to talk to. It also meant Jesse would arrive sooner. 

His eyes sparkled with the promise. "I'll get permission from my mom and text you." 

Getting excited at the prospect of showing off for him, I asked, "What do you like to eat?" My dad had a freezer in the garage that was stuffed with all sorts of meat and delicious fixings I rarely indulged in because it wasn't worth the trouble to do for myself. 

He shrugged. "I like everything." 

Taking a chance I reached over and brushed my fingers over his hand. "Okay, text me and let me know." 

An hour later found me rushing around the kitchen, my hair sticking up in damp clumps as I timed pots of food on the stove with a small chicken roasting in the oven. By the time Jesse arrived at 5:30 I had mashed garlic into the fluffy potatoes, prepared the nearly lumpless gravy to go on top, baked a pan of cornbread and steamed some frozen broccoli. 

"Cool," he pronounced in appreciation when I led him into the house fragrant with the smell of my cooking. "I'm starving." 

We fell upon the food ravenously and wolfed down almost all of it in no time. "You're a good cook," he told me later after the dishes were stacked in the dishwasher and the kitchen cleaned up. "You'll make someone a fine wife some day." I threw the sponge at him. 

We sat down to watch Red on DVD, which he had never seen, and ended up cuddling on the couch. He had his head in my lap and I watching him in profile, running my fingers through his wavy black hair and feeling the way the soft ends tickled my hand. He would get this little scrunched-up line between his eyebrows when the action in the movie turned intense but my hand on his head seemed to relax him. It was kind of nice just being with him here like this, quiet and not saying anything but comfortable. 

The film ended and Jesse sort of roused himself, so maybe he'd begun to doze off. He rolled off the couch to land on his feet. When I tried to get up my legs had fallen asleep and I stumbled. Jesse grabbed me to save me from a fall against the glass-edged coffee table, and there I was, in his arms again. 

I took advantage and kissed his forehead, then that squiggling wrinkle between his eyes, the tip of his nose until I reached his mouth. Brushing just the corner, I gave him small pecks until I could take his bottom lip between my teeth and nibble on it. By that time we were staring deeply into each other's eyes, and I saw want burning there. The fire that flitted across his face warmed my trembling body. 

He cupped my head in his hand and began to kiss me over and over. I grabbed him hard by the shoulders, pressing my lips into his firmly. Starting out with us just fitting our mouths together, it was setting off sparks of excitement inside. He opened his lips and let my tongue in, and we moaned, licking, tasting and pushing back and forth. A whole new flood of emotions began to overwhelm me as his insistence surged into my mouth. Holy shit, this boy really knew how to kiss! 

At last he drew back, a strange mixture of delight and bewilderment warring with determination. His jeans were bulging at the crotch like mine were, and he blew a rapid puff of air out that lifted his bangs off his forehead. I saw a bead of sweat trickle down the side of his neck. 

"I don't know what it is about you, Shane, but you make my emotions go crazy," he laughed ruefully, running his fingernails softly down my cheek. 

I shivered and tried to joke back. "I can't even think straight when we're together." I captured his hand in mine and kissed his chin. "You make me want to get naked with you and take you to bed so we can be alone. I would make you feel so good." 

Jesse's eyes went dark and his cheeks turned a beautiful shade of apricot, but all of a sudden he frowned. "I want the same thing, but we shouldn't rush this. I... I, um... don't do that kind of thing... not unless I know... for sure, you know. We would have to be, um... together- together. I'm not into casual hook-ups." 

That brought me up short because all of my hook-ups had been exactly that, casual. This was a switch in my plans I wasn't sure I was ready for. Commit to one person and be loyal to him. Me- faithful? Never had tried that, and never had wanted to either. 

But with Jesse? He would be so worth it. The trouble was, there were emotional risks to consider before I could make up my mind and doing so would require far more time than I had at present standing here holding Jesse's hand. 

When I didn't speak Jesse lowered his latte-shaded eyes which was a shame because they were too gorgeous to hide. I could tell he was slightly hurt I didn't offer instantaneous vows of devotion, and once again I found myself having to placate him and squelch a misunderstanding in the making. I stepped up and tipped his chin up with my finger. I lay one gentle kiss on his lips. 

"Give me a chance to think," I pleaded. "This means too much already and I don't want to mess with you. I think I know where it's going, but I need time to decide on the together- together so I don't hurt you, okay?" 

He smiled slowly. In my defense I wasn't trying to lead him on or make false promises I had no intention of keeping, and I hoped he recognized that I was attempting to be worthy of his trust. Being exclusively with a person, especially another guy, was a whole new animal to me. Fucking it up would not only ruin this growing bond between us, it would damage Jesse too. For the first time in my life, I was actually putting someone else first and not just thinking of myself. 

Jesse kissed me goodnight and went home a little while later. I sighed, preparing for another night of jacking off in my lonely bed but knowing I was doing the right thing. 





Call Out Your Name Ch. 02



Those early days of March did bring about one positive result. I didn't have any choice but to admit that I had fallen completely in love with Jesse. I mean, the daydreaming into oblivion, walking on air, birds tweeting musically in the trees type falling in love. The part where I was ready to decide that I was off the market and commit to him and try to make our relationship work. For fuck's sake, I had been celibate for the past two months, the longest I'd gone without sex since I was fourteen, and I didn't want anyone but Jesse. 

He was the best thing that had ever happened to me. A light in the dark tunnel of my Calberia existence, he made school bearable. He gave me something to look forward to, and I no longer felt the exile from my mother's house as keenly or even wished to return to Rancho Martinez. As long as I could spend time with him every day at school and kiss and hold on to him for a few hours in between I was happy. It was a bad pun, but he was like my drug. Like water for fish or the thermals under a bird's wing, he was the one I depended on. 

Every school morning we arrived at nearly the same time, meeting in the parking lot. After making sure not to be observed, I'd give him a quick kiss, just a brief pass and nothing with tongue. Off we'd go on our separate ways to get together during nutrition break and eating at the same table in the quad along with the drama crowd for lunch. Next to each other or across the three foot span of ugly plastic, we pretended to be platonic friends and we worked hard not to give ourselves away. I think if anyone had bothered to look directly into our faces, they would have realized. Our love for each other felt so transparent, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. 

Fifth period meant English with Mrs. Coates and we still sat across the room from each other despite my attempts to get her to move me. We couldn't even pass notes to each other, but sometimes he'd flash the sign for 'I love you' in American Sign Language when nobody was looking. An open hand like the number five and bending the two middle fingers into his palm. What else would we do for the class to witness anyway? Then I was off to economics and he danced sixth period away before our afternoon ended and we came back together to make plans for the evening if he could get it free. 

Not to his house to kiss and cuddle because of his own closet, but I was luckier since Dad hated spending any time with me that wasn't absolutely necessary. Yes, he would have been furious if he'd known I was sitting in the dark of our living room and making out with my boyfriend, but it was kind of like a game. I don't know, maybe there was a part of me that wanted to get caught just to make him notice me. I probably took chances here and there when I wasn't thinking about the consequences of being kicked out or forbidden to hang out with Jesse. But I had grown proficient at tricking him into divulging his evening plans so we were safe. 

Jesse was the sweetest, most gentle person in the world. He went out of his way to be friendly, even to bullies like Mark and the general snobs around school. He had this charismatic optimism and he rarely got angry or upset. He brought out the best in everyone else, including me, with his infectious sparkle. Perhaps he wasn't the most popular guy in our class, but very few had anything negative to say about him either. The rants of Mark Butler and his band of gay-bashing cronies aside, it was hard to find anything to dislike about him. 

To tell the truth, I was scared shitless to get into a relationship with Jesse. He hadn't said it, but I was fairly sure he loved me. Admitting that I was hopelessly in love with anyone was hard enough, but embracing my gay side to care like this for a man felt as if I was teetering on the edge of a cliff in rollerblades. I already knew what my parents would say, but what about others in my life? Uncle Carl, my new friends at school, even total strangers now who would cross paths with me later in life. But all I had to do was think of the next seventy years without him, and I wanted to shrivel away and become dust. 

The rest wasn't even about him. There was the whole Letter of Intent process with my football scholarship that I had let slip by, partly my fault but also because Mom never informed the colleges that were scouting me that I had moved. I swear, it almost seemed like she was trying to sabotage my future. It was mid-March before any of the paperwork caught up with me, and I was in a bind because it was supposed to be taken care of in early February. My life was in flux and I didn't know what to do about it. I had never felt so directionless. 

I evaded the issue because I didn't want to face how a career in college football might mean leaving Jesse. 

When I applied to the various universities the previous fall there was absolutely no reason for me to think that I wouldn't graduate from Sacred Heart High. My school guidance counselor and head football coach suggested schools for me and assured me that I'd have my pick of where to attend. Notre Dame, Alabama, Louisiana State and the University of Oregon were just among the few trying to recruit me. There were also smaller institutions that might be a better fit—read, I would actually have a chance to play instead of sitting on the sidelines— and had rich football traditions where I could create my own niche. Then I transferred to Calberia, and my wonderful counselor mucked up the paperwork, and the precious windows began to close. 

The nearest university to Calberia was UC-Santa Barbara just twenty minutes down the highway. In comparison to the all the other schools I had wanted to attend it was small potatoes, so guess what! I didn't even consider it, and now it was too late to apply. And then here I am in this podunk town falling in love with this wonderful gay boy who probably won't be attending any university after high school, and I'm stuck. Yeah, I could go off to UCLA or USC in Los Angeles, but that's still two long hours away from here. 

The problem was, I didn't want to leave Jesse. 

Because his dyslexia left him so far behind his classmates and he had to struggle just to get a C-average, Jesse wasn't university material. He wasn't ashamed to acknowledge it either, and if he went to any college it would be a local community school where he'd learn some blue-collar trade. He's been taking acting and dance classes at Calberia High since he was a freshman, but he's a level-headed guy who knew how tough it was to make it professionally in Hollywood or New York. He was under no delusions that he wouldn't be one of thousands with stars in his eyes and a hole in his wallet. No, he'd get a day job to pay the bills and be happy with roles in the Santa Barbara community theaters. 

I wanted to support him. Hell, I wanted to live with him. Strangely enough, football didn't mean that much to me when I held it up to staying with Jesse. He was my long-term future, not running some pigskin up and down a grass field. I didn't see myself becoming NFL material any more than Jesse would automatically become a famous actor. My plans had always been to use the sport to get me through college and at some point decide on a major that interested me. 

But now? I was afraid to leave Jesse because I knew if I did I'd be making the biggest mistake of my life. 

Should I go to some school across the country and walk away from the best thing that ever happened to me? Or should I toss out a scholarship worth thousands of dollars to attend a community college with the hopes of relocating to a university later? Maybe I'd get lucky enough in my junior year to get into a sports program somewhere I could take Jesse with me, but there were no guarantees of subsidized education or an invitation to join a football squad. The time for making up my mind, at least with the Letter of Intent, was running out, and I couldn't decide. My heart had no trouble telling me what to do, but I wasn't sure whether to trust it. I didn't want to address what was best course of action was. 

However, I knew I could never leave Jesse. 

The night I told him I was positive I wanted to be his alone, we were at my house. I had invited him over to play a video game on my Xbox. My dad's an accountant and it was tax season so he was working late and then going to Jillian's. I ordered a large combo pizza and planned it all out carefully, knowing I would be most persuasive if we weren't in the middle of making out when I told him how I felt. Duh! Most people know that promises made in the heat of passion probably don't mean squat. 

Jesse and I both like jalapeños so I asked for Pizza Hut to send them on the side. So what if Valentine's Day was almost a month ago. I used the spicy peppers to spell out Be Mine on top of the pizza, and let him open the box. Dyslexic or not he got it right away, and his look of incredulity was priceless. 

"Really?" he asked, and I nodded eagerly. He practically threw himself in my arms, and I found myself backed into the dining room wall. 

Lust made his eyes go huge and dusky, and we met each other's mouths in a hungry kiss, dinner forgotten. It began slowly, deepening as our desire grew. Melting into his embrace, I brushed my tongue against his closed lips and he grabbed my face in his hands and started thrusting his into my mouth. I kissed him back fervently, moaning as my cock thickened inside my jeans, and I cupped his ass and pulled him tightly into me. His hard dick bumped back, and my brain was getting foggy. 

I pulled his shirt off and nearly stopped breathing over what was revealed. Anyone who says that dancers don't have toned bodies is lying. He might not have the beefcake muscle composition like those who played sports, but his long torso was gorgeous, all lean and slender with not an ounce of fat on him. His shoulders showed off a delicate bone structure overlaid with firm deltoids and led to a flat chest that was almost hairless except for a few whirls of black around his large brown nipples. The hair picked up again just below his navel before diving into his jeans in a half-inch-wide track. 

I wanted to follow that trail south but there were other treats to enjoy first, and I probably sounded like I was purring when I put my hands on his chest. Swiping my fingers across his nipples, I watched them turn into hard little points and I had to taste them. They felt rough under my tongue but I was cautious when biting them so I wouldn't hurt Jesse. He just closed his eyes and moaned. 

I only got to play with him for a little while. "Take off your shirt, Blondie," he commanded hoarsely, reaching for the hem. 

"'Blondie' huh?" I smirked, helping him by yanking it off and tossing it aside. 

"Yeah, 'Blondie'," he rejoined. "My Blondie." 

He captured my right hand in his and held it over my head, fingers entwined, as he stood me straight up against the wall. The lust was back in full play. Giving me a big smile, he tilted in to meet my lips again. 

Beginning at my shoulder, his free hand groped downwards, skimming fingers over my pecs to flick my nips hard, and I gasped over how it fueled my desire for him. Sliding lower, he traced the ridges and planes of my stomach but didn't stop there. He fingered my belly button, then stilled at the waistband of my jeans. Working the button through the fabric and slowly pulling down the zipper, he loosened the denim around my hips so the sides fell open. My hard-on sprung out—I was commando— and my breath caught at the sudden drift of cool air flowing across it. 

Kissing him was a good diversion as our tongues wrestled together but not good enough. I felt his long, nimble fingers searching for my already hard and leaking cock as they meandered over the length, trailing from tip to testicles before getting down to business. He wrapped his hand firmly around the shaft and began to stoke me from the bottom up, and like any knowledgeable guy who jacked himself regularly he knew what felt good. I was simply fighting to stay upright when all I wanted to do was curl around that marvelous paw. 

"God yes, Jesse," I moaned. "Feels so good." 

His mouth left mine and settled on the crook of my neck where it met my shoulder, and he sucked and bit at me, pulling the blood to the surface to make a hickey. I'm surprised he found enough blood anywhere but in my dick to leave a bruise, but it didn't hurt. I was entirely focused on the perfect way his palm was gliding over the wet head of my cock and gathering up precum to lubricate the trip down where his fingertips massaged my balls and rose back to the top to repeat again and again. He had a little flick of the wrist he employed that touched all my most sensitive spots, and lights started flashing behind my eyes. 

"Ohh damn," I wheezed, rocking my hips harder into Jesse's grip. My balls ached in that way that told me my orgasm was imminent, and suddenly I reached the threshold where they drew up tightly into my body. This was going to be intense and I felt myself shattering into a million pieces of pleasure. 

"Oh fuck," I moaned, clamping my eyes tightly shut. "Feels... feels so good... can't stop it... cumming now." 

I was like a fountain going off, my jetting sperm catching us at chest level and my legs immediately turned to jelly. Clawing his back with my free hand, I buried my teeth in his shoulder but kept my wits about me so that I didn't bite hard enough to break the skin. The smell of my arousal was all around us, combined with musk and sweat. I twisted and moaned in Jesse's embrace until it was over, then collapsed against him trying to calm my ragged breathing. 

"Shit, that was amazing," I praised minutes later. "So much better than getting myself off." 

Jesse was giggling like a maniac and holding on to me just as hard. "Liked that, huh?" 

"Oh yes." I reached for a dishtowel off the kitchen counter and wiped us down with it. Giving him a big grin, I pretended to be thinking hard. "Let's see, what do you prefer? Honey? Baby?" 

I snapped my fingers. "I know, I'll call you Cubby." 

He laughed and touched his nearly-bare chest. "Don't you dare. I'm hardly a bear, you know." 

"No, but you're cute." 

He grabbed the towel and began snapping me with it. "Cute, huh? Cute? Ditch the 'Cubby', Blondie." 

In answer I wrenched it away and dove for his lips, trying to suck his tongue into my mouth as my fingers fumbled at the zip and button of his jeans and pulled them down over his ass. Snaking into his barely-there bikini briefs I fished out his rigid penis and began manipulating its velvet warmth in my curled palm. From touch alone, he seemed to be about the same length as me—six and a half inches—but where I was uniformly thick from stem to the knobbed head, Jesse was broad at the base and narrow through the shaft. The flange was very pronounced below a bell shaped head, and his trimmed pubic bush was wiry. 

His cock fit nicely into my hand and I lost no time in setting up a rhythm to bring him swiftly into the ultimate ecstasy. I was a connoisseur of handjobs and eager to share my expertise. His nuts were the perfect size and even though his sac suspended them loosely and I was gentle in their handling, it wouldn't take long to fill them with semen and get them churning. I loved the way Jesse responded to my touches, groaning "Mmm" into my ear nonstop and his whole body jerking like he was connected to a live wire. 

"You like that, Baby?" I whispered. 

"Mmm-hmm." He was moving so much it was like we were slow-dancing together. 

Jesse was on a hair-trigger after getting me off, and soon he was puffing like a steam engine and damp with sweat. I slicked up the index finger of my other hand with some of his precum and reached behind him to gently grope between his cheeks. Circling his hole I carefully inserted my digit up to the first knuckle, and he bucked and screamed. 

"I'm going to... oh Shane, I'm gonna..." 

His body tensed, corded sinew popping out from his neck and head thrown back, and I knew he was done. His body contorted and he spurting globs of white all over the both of us. I held him as he trembled and sighed into his release, all glassy-eyed and spent. It was the sexiest thing I'd seen in a long time. 

"I love you." 

The words seemed to be pulled out of me almost involuntarily. I hoped he could tell that I meant them sincerely and that they weren't just a thank you for my fifteen minutes of bliss. 

His eyes had this way of turning several shades darker when he got emotional, and they looked nearly black in the dim light of the dining room. "I love you too, Shane." 

I dampened the towel to clean us up with and we settled down to eat our cold pizza. We tried to concentrate on the video game but it was nearly impossible and we spent most of the evening kissing and cuddling. The addition of sex into our relationship signaled a new frontier that we had breached, and there was no going back. 





Call Out Your Name Ch. 02



"Your uncle seems nice," Jesse said at last, keeping his eyes on his lap. "Is he part of the Calberia that isn't supposed to know you're gay?" 

I laughed humorlessly. "Yes and no. I certainly haven't discussed my preferences with him, but it looks like one of my parents did. It wasn't exactly a secret so I'm glad he isn't all weirded out about it." 

Jesse couldn't help but notice the bitterness in my voice and glanced at me sharply. "What do you mean?" 

Sighing, I thought about how to answer the question, knowing I could fib without him ever finding out. Yet, at that moment anything less than total honest was not an option. Lying is always harder on the psyche than telling the truth is, and he was my boyfriend, the one person I should be candid with. I knew Jesse was a good person who wouldn't stop loving me because I had been afraid. At least, I hoped not. 

"It's the whole fucking reason I'm in Calberia." 

Of course, being the intuitive guy he is, Jesse knew right away how monumental this was for me and sat back to listen attentively. I backtracked and repeated what I'd told him about my mom, step-dad and sisters at an earlier date, and he didn't ask any questions. 

"So we were all good up until the middle of January," I finished. 

He bit his lip. So sexy. "What happened in January?" 

My face started to feel a bit warm. "Uh, my mom found out I was bi in one of the worst possible ways..." 

"Bi?" Jesse gasped, shooting me a startled look. "I thought you were gay." 

I shook my head and groaned, fairly sure of what was going through Jesse's head. 

Bisexual guys can't be faithful. A lot of gay men felt that way. That the bi man they were in love with was just waiting for the right woman to show up. That he had to have it both ways all the time. That once he found Ms Perfect he would jet off to enjoy his fake-straight lifestyle and deny the side of him that loved men. 

"No, I'm bi, Jesse," I said, unwilling to lie about it. "But that doesn't mean I'm playing you or shit." 

I wasn't like that. Even when I fooled around with Owen I had never lied to him about fucking girls. But that was before I moved to Calberia and met Jesse, and I had no desire for pussy. My attraction to him had been immediate and absolute, and Jesse was it for me. 

"Meaning?" he asked warily. 

"Meaning I am in love with you, baby boy." I stared straight into his eyes beseeching him to trust me, and I took his hand and raised it to my lips to kiss his fingers. "Head over heels with you and you only. 

"I'll admit some of the girls at school have tried to tempt me to get into their pants, Jesse, but I don't want them. Any of them, not even Carilynn Wade." Carilynn was probably the cutest, sexiest girl in school, the one with a lighthearted way about her but something of a slut. She let the guys know she was up for anything. 

Jesse snickered, but I could tell he believed the conviction in my voice because his eyes were shining with love just as sure as mine were. "So, uh... when did you know for sure that you were, uh... not straight?" he faltered. 

His hesitation was cute, and I grinned. "I was twelve. A set of twins moved in across the street from us. Seth and Sarah Raymond; I had crushes on both of them." I nudged him with my elbow. "What about you?" 

"I was thirteen," he answered calmly. "My mother won free tickets to the Granada Theater to see Wicked, the musical based on the bad witches from The Wizard of Oz. My sister got sick so she took me. That's when I decided I wanted to act. Mom gave me dance lessons for my birthday, and I fell in love with my dance teacher. He was a hottie." 

"Ooh, kinky," I joked. "Did anything come of it?" 

"No, of course not," Jesse huffed, but his eyes were twinkling merrily. "You are so totally inappropriate, you know that, Shane? He was twenty-six, and I was half his age. He had a girlfriend." 

I laughed, pleased with myself for winding him up. But Jesse was ready for me to continue my story. 

"Okay, so what happened? You got caught by your mom?" 

"Sort of." I told him about my high school and Danae, my Sacred Heart girlfriend, assuring him once again that she meant nothing to me anymore. In fact, I hadn't even thought about her in close to a month. But because I dated girls in Rancho Martinez I was able to fool a lot of people; nobody knew about my bisexual side except for the boys I'd slept with.

"I knew this guy. Owen. We played football together last year but he was older than me." I considered the old memory that wasn't nearly as painful as it had been in January when I was begging my mother to let me come home. "He was gay but I was, like, the only one of our friends who knew. Gaydar, I guess. So we'd get together every once in awhile. He was home from college and we were, you know, fooling around. Just having fun." 

I blushed cherry red. "Owen's mother caught us in bed." 

"So that's what you meant when you said there was lots of drama that ended badly?" He was trying not to laugh and I guess from his perspective I could see the humor in it.

"Yeah. The next thing I knew my sisters were telling my mom and she was screaming about me being a freak and a degenerate and cussing up a storm. Anyway, she kicked me out." 

Jesse's mouth dropped open in shock. "Duuuuude! Your mom kicked you out of the house for being gay?" 

"Bi," I corrected automatically, but my voice went blank. My head was getting lost in the old emotions of her pitiless denunciation and ridiculous excuses that were all about maintaining her perfect façade and hiding the fact that she had a son who liked sex with men. "She chose to live her pretend life where I'm not there to remind her of how much she fucked up when she married Dad. She has her precious daughters with Whit and I don't exist." I blinked back tears. 

"So your mom forced you to come here and live?" Jesse probed the wound curiously, inadvertently hurting me with his persistence in getting the facts straight. I knew he wasn't doing it on purpose. He couldn't see my face in the dark so maybe he didn't notice my distress. 

"Yeah, to my dad's," I whispered miserably. "My dad, who never visited me after I turned thirteen, never remembered my birthday or Christmas and now treats me like some stranger renting a room from him. He's either at work or with his girlfriend. I haven't seen him for more than..." 

And suddenly I was crying my heart out, my throat a painful, hard lump I couldn't swallow around and my eyes burning with tears that wouldn't stop falling. I put my head against the steering wheel, bawling out my mom's shitty rejection and my father's neglect, and Jesse leaned over and pulled me close so I could sob into his shirt. 

"It's okay," he soothed me, stroking my hair. "Your parents must be complete assholes not to realize how lucky they are to have you for a son. You could be out getting into so much shit but you don't. Instead, you go to school and work as if they were checking up on you every day. You always prop me up when I need it when you're the one falling apart inside. I'm sorry for what they did to you, Shane. Really, truly sorry." 

I couldn't do anything except weep for a few minutes and try to get control of myself but being in Jesse's comforting arms and listening to his calming sympathy helped. It felt so good to just be held, something I had missed without realizing it. Soon I was quieting, and when I looked up, there was my beautiful boyfriend with tears in his eyes too. One thing led to another, and soon the edges of the arm rest were digging into our sides as we frantically reached for each other and tried to kiss and breathe at the same time. 

"Come on," he said, pulling away and letting himself out of the car. He shut the passenger door quietly. I followed, and he grabbed my hand, leading me through the inky blackness around the house to a closed window without a screen. There were no lights on anywhere and the crickets chirped loudly in the silence. 

Jesse put his hands on the movable half of the window and pushed inward, noiselessly sliding it sideways until there was an opening large enough to crawl through. "Come on," he whispered again, and he hefted himself over the sill, then assisted me inside. We were in a bedroom, one I assumed was his. 

"Are you sure we should do this?" I was a little panicky at getting caught, feeling a definite sense of déjà vu from my afternoon with Owen. 

"The family is all sound asleep," he murmured, squeezing my hand. "A burglar could clean them out completely and they wouldn't know until it was too late. Not even my three-year-old nephew will wake up until morning." 

"If you say so," I agreed doubtfully. 

"I say so, Blondie." He put a reassuring hand on my arm, and the smile on his face was both inviting and possessive. "As long as we keep the moaning down." 

I was all set to answer, but he cut off my words with a flurry of small grazes to my lips. Fluttering in my stomach, I held still under each mesmerizing pass until it wasn't enough, and I kissed him hard. He drew me deeper into his embrace but I didn't feel smothered, just very loved and wanted. He plunged his tongue into my mouth and I responded with stolen breath, feeling the empty space in the front of my jeans tightening. 

"I know how to make you feel better." Jesse lifted my shirt and I just stood there silently with my arms around him when he nuzzled into my neck. He lost no time, beginning to touch me everywhere and his mouth danced across the bare skin of my shoulders and torso, licking and chewing on my nipples while I tried to hold my groans back. It didn't take long before I was hard and aching for him. 

He unfastened the button on my tight jeans and slid the zipper down. There was a growing wet spot on the fabric behind it where the precum had soaked through. Dropping to his knees in front of me, he pulled them down my thighs; my stiff cock caught and bounced as it got free of the denim and slapped me in the stomach. 

"Splendid," he breathed in awe, staring at my dick before looking up at me quizzically. "You're a natural." 

"Natural what?" I husked, wanting to beg him to take me into his mouth. 

"Blonde," he smiled. "Carpet matches the drapes." 

I giggled through a groan when he ran his fingers over the slippery head, making me shiver, and then popped them into his mouth to taste my precum. "Mmm," he moaned back. 

He leaned towards me as I shifted my feet closer, and he sucked my cockhead into his mouth. I felt warm and wet surround it as his tongue slipped out to lick down the shaft to my balls and back up, waking up each nerve along its path. Steadying himself by grabbing my hips he re-positioned his jaw and began to slurp on it, going deeper with every dip. Then he innocently flipped his latte-colored eyes up at me, and the sight of him with his pink lips locked around my hard penis nearly made me cum right there. All I could do was whimper to show how much I liked it because words were beyond me. 

I grabbed his head for balance, and he began working on me in earnest. I felt the tip hit the back of his mouth, and he gagged for a second before withdrawing to try again. It didn't matter, his sliding hand at the base was almost as good as his mouth, especially when his fingers surrounded my sac and bobbled the balls inside. My hips wanted to thrust and he let me take control of my drives. All the stimulation was getting to me and I knew it wouldn't take much to make me fly apart. 

My balls started to rumble, and I scarcely had time to groan out a "Jesse, I'm cum..." when my orgasm crashed into me. I felt cum racing through my dick to eject forcefully into Jesse's waiting mouth, and I barely was able to contain my scream before stifling it with my hand. Looking down through blurry eyes I watched him swallow like he enjoyed the taste of my semen, moaning in delight. The sight made my knees weak to the point where I would have fallen over if Jesse hadn't been holding on. 

He let me regain some sanity and strength before he let go, and I pulled him up into an open kiss. He shared the last of me on his tongue, and then I was pawing at his clothing to get him out of his shirt and jeans. We collapsed on to Jesse's double bed and I licked and nibbled my way down his long, narrow body to find his pretty cock jutting from his own trimmed groin of black curls. 

I spread his knees and moved down between them. "Carpet matches your drapes too," I teased him before lowering my head and wrapping my tongue around his scrotum to draw his nuts carefully into my mouth, first one and then the other and sucking on them gently. 

"Oh damn, Shane," he moaned softly, his hips lifting off the bed involuntarily. He filled his hands with my long hair to guide me. 

I stroked his cock into full hardness and opened to let the mushroom head of his member slip inside and lay heavily on my tongue. Sucking at the tip, I closed my lips around it and tasted his slightly salty precum. It was Jesse's so that made it good. Drawing his cock further into my mouth, I bobbed up and down, feeling the satiny skin stretch. He groaned again and knowing I was giving him such pleasure made me feel like a king. 

I was able to get most of him into my mouth and began concentrating on my breathing so I wouldn't gag. One hand gripping his shaft kept time with my mouth, and the other fondled his balls. I pressed my pinky finger into the taut skin between them and his twitching hole, eliciting another ragged moan from him. His hips were on autopilot now, his hands sweaty in my hair, and when I glanced up at him he was nearly glowing. That spurred me on, and I swallowed him on the next down-stroke. 

Everything happened at once. Jesse quietly moaned, "Fuuuck, I'm cumming!" and his cock thickened. No sooner were the words out of his mouth than the first splash of cum hit the back of my throat and I hastily swallowed. He was mindlessly cupping my head to try and hold me still while his whole body was thrashing on the bed. I continued to bob over him, pulling his release from his pulsing cock and drinking each emission down until he finally went limp. 

After cleaning him completely, I crawled up the bed and lay down next to him. "Are you okay?" 

He smiled tiredly and reached out for me, and I rolled into a soft kiss. "Yeah," he whispered, running his fingers down my jaw. "For a bi boy, you're pretty good at blowjobs."

"I aim to please," I giggled back.

We snuggled up together and must have fallen asleep. All I know is that what seemed like only minutes later Jesse was shaking me awake and I didn't want to open my eyes. We were still naked on top of his bed, and the air felt chilly. 

"Shane, it's four a.m. Shouldn't you go home?" 

"Don't want to," I grumbled, burying my head in his neck like a child. "Nobody's there anyway." 

"Well, my mom will be getting up for work in an hour, and she can't find you here." 

I sighed, remembering that he wasn't out to his family yet. He was right; I had to get up even if I hated leaving him because the last thing either of us needed was to get caught. It was stupid how parents, with their mixed up values, held all the power.  

I gave him a quick kiss and began searching for my clothes. I kissed him again as I scooted through the window and thought about him all the way home. That is, until I pulled on to my street and noticed my father's car in the driveway. 

Fuck! What was he doing here? He was supposed to be spending the night at Jillian's. 

I let myself into the house in near silence, thanking the sex gods for a front door that didn't squeak and my ability to keep my keys from jangling. I had to pee so badly, but I was afraid that it would wake Dad and bring him out of his bedroom to ask where I'd been. Practically hopping up and down, I made myself undress and throw some briefs on over my naked ass, and then I climbed into bed and back out so it looked like I'd been asleep. However, there was no need for the subterfuge because Dad never woke up. 

I didn't think I was going to be able to fall back asleep but I had no trouble. My alarm clock went off at six, and I dragged myself up and into the shower. By the time I appeared in the kitchen my father was there. 

"What time did you get home last night?" he asked, giving me a severe look. 

I cautiously took a big breath and considered my options. Not that while I was in bed I hadn't planned some damage control beforehand, but I wondered how much I could get away with and realized it all depended on how long my father had waited up for me... if he had. 

"Midnight." I picked a time I hoped wouldn't be too far-fetched, given that my father wasn't much of a night owl in any situation and most likely wouldn't care enough to worry over my absence. 

He didn't react negatively and I relaxed a little. "That's late for a school night," he stated. "Where were you?" 

"I picked up my paycheck from Uncle Carl, and then some friends and I went into Santa Barbara for dinner," I half-lied. "One thing led to another and time got by us." 

"What does that mean?" Now he was glaring. 

"Nothing," I retorted, trying not to sound defensive. "Just hanging out and doing shit. I wasn't getting into trouble if that's what you're worried about." 

He nodded, staring at me oddly. It was making me nervous. "I talked to Carl." 

"And?" 

Oh fuck! If Carl said anything about Jesse, I was dead. I felt a line of sweat trickling down my back, and I held my breath, hoping my uncle had kept my secret. 

"He just wanted you to know that he planned to give you a raise with this paycheck and forgot to compute it into your hours. He said he'll give you a separate check the next time he sees you." 

I willed myself to relax and forced a smile. "Oh, okay. Well, I better get to school." 

I was halfway to the door when my father stopped me. "Shane, I know you're eighteen and we've never discussed what time you're to be home, but from now on, curfew is 10:30 on weeknights and 11:30 on Friday and Saturday. Understand?" 

"Sure, Dad," I answered, thinking that nine nights out of ten he wouldn't be around to know what time I came home. This was just his way of justifying what a fucked up job he was doing of parenting me. I guess I had no reason to complain, seeing as how it allowed me to spend so much time with my boyfriend. 





Call Out Your Name Ch. 03



Early on Saturday morning I went to the wholesale market and picked up fish for bait and then drove to the marina where I met my uncle and the rest of the crew preparing to take the Tammany Jo and Sorsha Lynn out for a day of fishing. As I dumped the chum in one of the tanks I cheerfully greeted the other four guys, all in their late twenties, and they responded in kind. Being the nephew of the owner has never given me any special privileges and I have paid my dues. Hard work alongside them has made me an equal, not a better. 

I found Carl below in the cabin. It was an exceptionally nice salon considering what he used the boat for and had a big kitchen, known as a galley, and a dining area. There were two bedrooms, which are called berths, and one even had a queen-sized bed. The bathroom, uh... head, had a huge shower. You could comfortably live down there. 

Carl smiled at me apologetically and reached into his pocket for his wallet. He drew a check from the worn leather. "Sorry I forgot your raise." 

I shrugged to indicate it wasn't a big deal. "Um, thanks, Uncle Carl for not telling my dad about Jesse," I said. 

He hitched his eyebrow up and asked, "What was I supposed to keep such a secret?" 

I started to turn red and looked down at my feet, wishing he'd just accept the gratitude without making me talk about it. "You know, that he and I..." 

"Look, Shane," he interrupted. "It's none of my business what you do with your private life, okay? You're a good kid, and I see you working hard here so I presume you do at school too. That's what's important in this world. I disagree with your mom and dad because, frankly, they don't have the right to tell you who to love. So no, I will never discuss you and Jesse with either of your parents." 

I smiled at him, feeling a little self-consciousness over all the heart-felt encouragement. This was probably the longest string of words I'd heard Carl utter since I moved here. Then he leaned over and gave me a hug, and that turned into a big sense of awkward. Clearing our throats, we sort of pulled away from each other, causing us both to laugh. He ruffled my hair, and I went up on deck to begin my chores. 

Over the next couple of weeks Jesse got three more suspicious notes, two in his school locker, one taped to his car. Each one was a little more ominous and little less vague. The last, received on the sixth of April, asked 'How red is Ur fag blood?' I was starting to get scared that someone was truly out to hurt Jesse but he passed it off like it wasn't of any importance and he wasn't intimidated. As he reminded me every time the subject came up, what the stalker wanted was the satisfaction of upsetting Jesse, and if he didn't give into the fear the person would eventually stop. 

At least he didn't throw out any of the written threats, storing them in a zip-lock bag in the back of his school locker under a tattered hoody he kept for sudden weather changes. After the eighth one I actually considered swiping them and handing them over to the school principal; we knew each other's locker combinations and it would have been easy enough. But Jesse had such an easy-going way about him and was good at soothing and convincing me I was over-reacting. I didn't think we could be accused of being careless but his refusal to heed them was at least simplistic. We just wanted it to all go away. 

And then there was the ongoing discussion of showing affection at school. Jesse was proud to be my lover and wanted to show me off. I wanted that too but I was still afraid. I had at last come to the conclusion that how the other students felt about me wasn't what was significant. No, my concern was that Jesse's name would be linked to mine in a conversation in front of a parent, and that adult would know my father and it would get back to him that I had a boyfriend. As Dad joked about at least once a week, he couldn't stand my mother but at least she had some common sense when it came to the matter of what hole my dick should be playing in. 

I tried to explain it to Jesse, and he was more patient than I deserved. Actually, my vacillation made me feel like a wimp who needed his protection. It wasn't as if I'd lost all my self-confidence in the past three months, but I definitely was not the same happy-go-lucky guy I'd been in Rancho Martinez. I guess I could be getting more mature, but mostly I think I was scared of graduating high school and becoming an adult. Jesse was the only person I could talk about my fears to, and I wondered what he saw in me. He would grin and say it was my long blonde hair. Or that my eyes were such a unique shade of turquoise they complimented his hair, so we had to be a couple. It would pull me out of my funk, and I'd be alright for a couple of days. 

By early April it came down to the wire where I couldn't put off making a decision on which university I would attend the following year, and Jesse and I disagreed on this subject too. I told him of my plans to attend Hope Ranch Community College with him in the fall, and he said I was throwing my life away by refusing my football scholarship and staying put in Calberia. 

He had followed me home after school to find Dad's car mysteriously in the driveway, meaning we couldn't go in, so he left his Jeep in an inconspicuous spot up the street. Now my Impala was parked behind the baseball bleachers of a nearby playground. Taking advantage of the privacy that would evaporate once the younger grades finished their classes for the day, we were making out on the wide back bench-seat. He was at first shocked by my choice. 

"How can you just blow off tens of thousands of dollars like that?" he demanded in a strangled hush. "Do you know what I'd give if some school offered me that kind of money for college?" 

"It isn't blown if it means we can stay together," I explained, planting a kiss on his neck right below the fringe of his black hair. His pink lips were all swollen and kiss-bruised. "If I was going to college far away I wouldn't be able to concentrate anyway from missing you so much." 

"Shane, I... I don't know what to say. Part of me is happy you love me that much, but I wish I didn't feel that you're making a big mistake. Playing football in college meant so much to you." 

"But that's the beauty of it," I urged, almost bouncing excitedly on the seat. "I'm not giving up playing football. I can join the Hope Ranch team. The major schools scout community colleges too, and in a couple of years I'll transfer into a university as a junior. By then you'll be graduated with an AA. I will take you with me, and you can work or act or whatever you want to do. We'll be together, Jesse." 

He shook his head, still unconvinced. "What if your dad won't let you stay with him for another two years? I thought you hated living there. Wasn't the whole idea for you to get into an out-of-state college?" 

"Not without you, Baby," I pouted, wondering why he had to be so negative. It sounded like he didn't want me around which hurt my feelings and made me feel stupid for the plans I was making for the two of us. "For now, let's not worry about what my dad might do." 

Like always, Jesse picked up on my mood. He gave the back of my neck a gentle squeeze. "Okay," he relented. "I guess there are options available if he kicks you out. You could rent one of the rooms that are available to college students, or you might even be able to live with your uncle or on one of his boats in the harbor... anything. I don't want to fight about it." 

I hated fighting with Jesse, and thankfully, we didn't do it very often. We trusted each other and stayed in contact throughout the day with little texts of support, especially if one of us had a test or an important assignment or just seemed a bit more stressed than usual. Jesse was getting the best grades of his life because I was helping him study, and he gave me the love that had been lacking to help me focus too. He didn't allow his pals to rag on me for being a jock instead of a drama geek, and I made it plain to Mark Butler that he better keep his thoughts about Jesse to himself when I was around. 

In fact, the two of us got along very well because of, or maybe in spite of, all our little idiosyncrasies. Mine was the baggage of deep emotional privation that until that night in my car, I hadn't realized was such a big issue. It was funny in a sarcastic way, but I guess my parents really did a number on me all these years letting me think I had to earn their love and approval. Jesse would not let me feel ashamed for breaking down in front of him in mid-March. He swamped my neediness by paying attention and with praise and vows of love, and he deliberately made me feel like there were no limits to what I could accomplish with him by my side. 

You know how guys are. We talk about sex a lot, especially when you have someone as hot and adorable as Jesse for a lover. Maybe it was because we were content to ease into new things without either of us pressuring the other that we were so comfortable together. We hadn't progressed past handjobs and going down on each other because we decided to take the sex slow, but what we shared felt so right. He knew about Owen and the other guys I'd been with, understood that I'd done anal sex before, and I told him I enjoyed it. Jesse asked a lot of questions, leading me to find out that he was a virgin in that respect. He'd never been with anyone he trusted enough, and I wanted very much to have the honor. But I didn't push him. 

I discovered he was just a bit on the OCD side. Even if he didn't regarding the stalker notes as conscientiously as I thought he should have, he was overly vigilant about safety otherwise, especially over locked doors and making sure appliances were shut off. Leaving the house with him could be an exercise in frustration as he had to be constantly assured the blow dryer was unplugged and his mother had turned off the stove hours ago. He didn't do the counting thing or having to touch every surface when he walked by, and he wasn't overly obsessive about germs, but I learned it was vital to bolster his memory so he could see himself taking proper precautions. 

Jesse might not be an intellectual whiz, but he made up for it in common sense. He was such a pure soul who gave me strength and courage, and he was probably the least selfish person I knew. Every day I felt like I was falling more in love with him. Every night I wished for the freedom to have him sleep by my side. But we were kids with parents who didn't know we were in love with each other, and their rules could be bent but not broken. I was just very lucky that my dad was so busy during tax season and gave me so little supervision. 

In some ways the middle of April sneaked up on us along with our two-month anniversary. The fourteenth was on a Saturday and I couldn't get time off from my job. I had secretly come up with a great idea for celebrating that would have to wait for the following Monday. Fortune smiled again because Calberia High gave us a two-week Easter vacation, meaning I could spend the whole day with him. Besides, I needed a special prop, in Jesse's admirable terms, which I'd only have access to on Mondays. My rampant excitement clued him in that this was going to be really over-the-top so he didn't complain. 

That's not to say we didn't celebrate the exact date at all. On Saturday, Carl excused me with a "get out of here" and a smirk as soon as the Bayliner hit the pier, and I raced home to shower before Jesse picked me up. He paid for dinner at a Mexican restaurant called Cielito that served excellent tapas which I had never had. Eating tapas is kind of like sharing little snack-sized portions of a lot of different foods so it was definitely fun and different. What made it even better was feeding each other, and I watched his eyes darken as I sucked his fingers clean. Afterwards we went to see Cabin in the Woods, and Jesse hid his face in my shoulder almost the whole film because he doesn't like scary movies but saw it for my sake. Dropping me off at midnight and noticing that my father wasn't home—he had to be staying over at his girlfriend's— we exchanged blowjobs. 

Ah, but Monday. Jesse had been getting a little wound up as the date closed in, and I had this sneaky suspicion it had to do with giving up his virginity. Keeping my fingers crossed, I refused to even broach the subject of sex so I wouldn't jinx it, but it was on both of our minds. I had this whole seduction planned but I would let him guide me. I wouldn't tell him where we were going either; just that he needed to dress warm, and thankfully it was a pretty day with temperatures in the high 70s and barely a breeze. 

As I parked in front of his house, he texted that he wasn't quite ready to leave, suggesting I introduce myself to his mother who had been asking about the boy Jesse was spending so much time with. I was nervous when I rang the doorbell and a thin, short woman with lustrous black hair answered the door. She had Shane's wide forehead and olive complexion and she was wearing narrow black pants with a droopy sweater over top that made her look younger than her years. She had this parental air about her and I knew this was Ms Capps. 

"Hi, I'm Shane, a friend of Jesse's." I told her we had plans for the day and I was picking him up. 

Saying he'd be good to go in a few minutes, she was both friendly and curious. "Jesse told me he has no idea where you all are heading out for today." 

My smile froze. I couldn't think of any way to keep this a secret without making her suspicious. The last thing I wanted was for her to withdraw permission or find out this was a date. "We're going down to the harbor," I told her. "I work weekends for my uncle, Carl Weatherby, and want to show him around." 

Sandra Capps' mouth turned up into a big smile that was so much like Jesse's. "I know Carl. He went out with my older sister before he married Elaine... oh, that was so long ago." Her look turned puzzled like she might have recognized me and was trying to put a face to a name. "Aren't you Lisa and Ken Elliott's son?" 

It felt like old home week even though I naturally had no memory of her at all. "That's me," I replied politely. "Only she's Lisa Lawson now." 

She blushed a little, and I could tell she was remembering the fifteen-year-old gossip about my parents and why their marriage fell apart. Luckily I was saved by the bounding appearance of Jesse who as usual looked scrumptious, and I turned my attention to him. It was all I could do not to lean into him and give him a kiss. 

"I'm ready," he chirped, trying for very hard to look casual and failing.

"Are you sure?" I teased. "You didn't leave the water running, and you put the cap back on your hair gel?"

Jesse's mother gaped at me, surprised, I'm sure, by how intimately we spoke of his OCD tendencies. I had been the one to mention them to him first. He had been embarrassed and blushed through an explanation of how he didn't talk about them in public. I'd pointed out that I loved him anyway, and perfection was way over-rated. Revealing how I knew of his difficulty and joking about it in front of her just proved what close friends we were, but I was sure it didn't cross any lines.

Jesse laughed. "I triple-checked, Shane, and stop being such an a..." He blushed, having almost cursed in front of Sandra and covered it up by quickly hugging her.

"Bye, Mom." I hustled him out the door before she disclosed my secret plan for the day to him or his verbal gaffes led him into more hot water.

The bulky backpack that he toted on his shoulder seemed to be heavy. When I started to ask him what was in it he slyly put his finger to his lips and shook his head for silence. 

"Running water and hair gel caps?" he goaded me skeptically once we got on the road, but he was smiling. He poked me in the ribs, and I almost swerved into another lane. "You're an ass, Shane Elliott.

I laughed. "I couldn't help it. I had to distract myself from kissing you."

"Oh, then I'm glad you said it," he answered with a mock shudder. "She was stunned as it is."

"Your mom is nice," I mentioned lightly. "She remembers my parents." 

He gave me a dazzling grin and leaned back against the seat rest. "I thought she would." 

Bewildered, I couldn't understand his hesitation in telling her he was gay because she didn't seem the type who could get angry. But as he'd already said, it wasn't her he was afraid of upsetting, it was his grandfather. 

"I told my cousin about you," he finally admitted. "Chad wanted to know why I don't hang out with him as much as I used to, and I said I have a boyfriend. He wants to meet you." 

"Oh?" I was instantly wary. 

"It's no big deal. He'll threaten to kick your ass if you fuck up and hurt me." 

"Somehow that doesn't reassure me." 

But Jesse was grinning from ear to ear. "Nah, I told him you're cool. He's trying to be friendly." He lifted his heavy backpack and giggled. "I gave him money and he bought us a twelve-pack of Blue Moons." 

"Sweet."

Jesse and I drank beer occasionally when we could get our hands on it, meaning when I felt brave enough to sneak it out of the fridge at home. We also got high every now and then, but neither of us let it be a problem. I mean, all the teenagers we knew did the same. 

"I know we're going to have fun today, whatever it is," he hinted with a side look, but I wouldn't let him trick me into revealing my plans. 

Like I told Jesse's mother, our destination was the marina and Carl's boats. I had proven to my uncle over the past three months that I could navigate his trawlers, and he let me steer the Sorsha Lynn out of the harbor and up the coast all by myself one Sunday. Of all things, some rich guy from Santa Barbara hired him to take it out for his daughter's Sweet-16 party. It was exhilarating to be given this opportunity and see Carl's trust in me. He simply stood by ready to take the wheel in case of an emergency, and I had impressed him.

I had also made an impact on the girls who liked my California surfer look and insisted on giving me their cell phone numbers. I just smiled, steered and flirted, then threw the scraps of paper away when I mopped up later. Damn, why hit on girls when Jesse was all I wanted? 

"What are we doing?" he asked, his head on a swivel as we made our way down the gangway to the floating pontoons where the ship was secured and he took in the different vessels around the seaport. 

"We're heading out," I said, pointing to the harbor entrance. "Monday is the one day Uncle Carl takes off from his charters, and he said I could use the Sorsha Lynn, providing that I paid for the fuel and we're back by nine tonight. Oh, and that I'm sober when I'm behind the wheel. She's easy to run in clear weather, and I thought you would enjoy the privacy. I even stocked her with food for the day." 

Jesse's eyes went wide with surprise. He practically jumped up and down in anticipation before giving me a big hug and thanking me over and over for making the day so much fun. I could tell he'd never been out on the ocean before, and I wanted to pat myself on the back for such a brilliant idea. 

I had a half-hour of preparation to get the Bayliner ready to go and Jesse helped me. It made sense to do the bare minimum, seeing as how it was just him and me, so all we did was pull the shrouds and secure the deck cushions and other items Carl stored belowdecks when the boats weren't in use. I checked the instruments while Jesse put our food away in the galley and refrigerated the beer, and soon we were ready to leave. 

I took the upper helm and had Jesse sit next to me on the port side. Wind in our hair, and Jesse's cheeks flushed charmingly, we nudged out of the slip and slowly made our way to the entrance of the harbor. Once free, I headed to a place I knew about eight nautical miles out. 




Call Out Your Name Ch. 03



"It will take us an hour and a half to get there," I told Jesse. "But after the sun starts to set it gets really pretty. You can see all up and down the coast when it's clear including the lights in the hills above Santa Barbara." 

There was a light breeze, and I was glad that we wore jeans and hoodies. The trip was uneventful, and Jesse sat on my lap part of the time as I piloted the craft to the exact spot I wanted to show him. It was like we had entered a magical place when we dropped anchor. Seagulls flew above us, and there would be an occasional ripple in the water from some sea animal swimming close to the surface, but except for a light chop against the hull, it was dead quiet. 

We ate a simple lunch of ham sandwiches I'd made earlier and each of us had a bottle of Blue Moon. Jesse was eying me funny as he popped the last bite of crust into his mouth and washed it down with beer. 

"So what do we do for the rest of the afternoon?" 

I considered. "We could fish except we don't have any bait." 

He scrunched up his nose and shook his head. "No thanks. How about drink beer and get some sun?" 

"Where?" There was a foredeck that Uncle Carl allowed people to use for tanning, but it wasn't level and I didn't like the way it threw me off-balance. "Besides, I don't have anything to wear." 

Jesse got a wicked gleam in his eye. I always went commando and he knew it. "We can use the long benches up on the bridge," he replied, "and as long as nobody gets close enough to notice, why do we need clothes?" He raised his eyebrow in lewd expectation. "I brought sunscreen so your... uh, privates won't get burned." 

I laughed ruefully at the idea of a painful burn on my cock and balls but lying in the sun sounded like a plan to me. I grabbed another beer for each of us out of the galley fridge, and we stripped off our clothes. Jesse covered our benches with beach towels so they would be more comfortable than lying on sticky vinyl. 

Finally, out of chores to waste our time on, we stared at each other across the seven feet of bridge, my pale body in contrast to his olive-toned one. Our dicks were mostly soft but beginning to twitch in eagerness as Jesse and I realized the prospects. And then we were in each other's arms, kissing and tasting and touching. 

"I don't want to get too far ahead of ourselves," I panted a fifteen minutes later as Jesse knelt between my spread legs, his mouth around my now-rigid cock. "I have this romantic scene I planned out in my head for tonight, so let's not go overboard, okay?" 

Jesse giggled, making me groan from the vibrations between his mouth and my groin. He lifted his head, and I let out another cry from the interruption in his sucking technique. "Overboard? Really, Blondie, considering where we are, your pun sucks. Besides, since when do you have to limit yourself?"

"Saying it 'sucks' isn't much better," I grinned as he got back to the business at hand. I loved the feel of his mouth on me, the way his lips made a complete seal around my staff. His tongue flicked me in all my most sensitive spots, like he could read my mind and knew instinctively what I liked. I felt my abdominal muscles tensing and tingles shooting up my spine. 

Seconds later my body was thrashing about and I was spurting into his mouth and loudly screaming. "Fuck, Jesse, just like that... yes, oh fuck." 

Jesse carefully lifted himself up on the bench and lay on top of me because there was no room for us side by side. He switched into an Australian accent to tease me. "Ah, looky 'ere mates, we 'ave ourselves a live one, a real screamer. Be careful, 'e might bite." 

"Bite, huh?" I blushed, loving the sight of him lucking my cum off his lips. "Do you really think this is a good time to be talking about my teeth?" 

"Ah, see 'ere? When you embarrass 'im, 'is face turns a bee-yoo-tiful shade of red." 

"Let's see how loudly I can make you scream," I taunted, flipping him effortlessly so that I was on top. "And I'll be sure to watch the teeth, Baby." 

I swiveled my hips grinding my already-refilling penis into his erect one, the two organs nestling together in the lubrication that was leaking from his slit. He let out a whimper. 

Kissing and licking, I scooted down his lithe body until I faced his groin. Sliding my tongue through the precum that had pooled while I was busy preparing him, I slipped my lips over the head of his erection and started to gently suck on it. How amazing it felt, his slender tool filling my mouth, and I enjoyed the taste of him and the silky texture against my tongue. Jesse was already moaning and thrusting when I began to bob over him, stretching my mouth wide and swallowing him down. My right hand stroked his shaft and the left pulled at his sac, and it was only a five minutes later that he let himself go.

"Feels... good. Oh my god... so good," he wailed in ecstasy as he unloaded in my mouth. 

"And no teeth," I whispered with a kiss when I dragged myself up his frame a few minutes later to stare into his blissed-out face. 

"I love you, Blondie," he smiled. 

"Love you back, Baby." 





Call Out Your Name Ch. 03



It took a few minutes to blow out the candles and get the berth looking like we'd never used it, although I'm sure Carl knew of the rendezvous I'd planned. But if I left no sign we'd been here, he would be more likely to let me take the boat out again. So it was dusk by the time we found ourselves on deck, the sun setting behind us in a ball of orange as the lights on shore began to twinkle on. 

"You're right, Shane," Jesse said, his head lying on my shoulder. "This is nice, a perfect view." 

I gazed over at him. "My view is better." He understood what I meant and blushed. 

"Tonight was really special for me." He took my hand. "I'm glad it was you I was with... that I waited. Thanks, you know?"

My voice got husky as I fought back tears, so overwhelmed by his sincerity. "You're welcome. It was special because of what you mean to me. And me to you. Because we're going to be together always." 

He kissed me and switched back into his earlier Down Under accent. "You got that right, mate." 





Call Out Your Name Ch. 04



I started hearing from the college scouts the next morning. Men angrily calling me from all over the country whining over why I had rejected the football scholarship their university offered and demanding to know who I'd signed my Letter of Intent with. There wasn't any sense in denying the truth; they could find out easily enough. When I told each of them that I'd changed my mind and was going to attend a local community college, they collectively denounced me as a fool who was wasting my talent. I sucked it up and made myself listen to their pleas to reconsider, followed by their insults when I refused. My most pressing concern was that one of them would contact one of my parents and get them on my case but I made it obvious this was my choice. 

I was worn out with the bickering by the time Jesse came over later that afternoon. It was disheartening to listen to adults verbally abuse me, especially when remembering that those same men might be the ones I would have to convince to give me a chance in two years when I planned to transfer to a four-year school. I tried to put up a good front so I wouldn't upset my boyfriend, but he could tell I was distracted as we made love. I guess I got a little tearful as I was calming back down into our afterglow and hoped he wouldn't notice, but it's hard to ignore salt water dripping on your neck. 

He pulled out from under me, handing me the soft towel we used to keep cum off the sheets so my dad would be less likely to discover we were fucking in my room. He flipped over on his back, still breathing hard. "What's wrong, Shane?" he asked, his face concerned and drawing me down on his shoulder to rest my head. 

I told him about the phone calls. For a moment he didn't say anything but when he spoke the words sounded scratchy with doubt, and they weren't what I expected at all. 

"Shane, are you sure this is what you want? To give up on all that money when you could be getting a fine university education and do what you love... play football... at the same time?" 

"I'm sure," I said rebelliously, hurt that he kept questioning my decision and didn't automatically take my side out of loyalty. "In the long run this is best. Full scholarships never cover everything and I don't know how I would manage. I suppose I could get a grant except that I'm still listed as Whit's dependent so I look like I'm rolling in money. My parents would never cosign for a loan to pick up the tab for incidentals, and with football I probably couldn't even work part-time during the first semester. 

"If I stay here I'll be saving two years worth of college fees the scholarship won't pay for. I can work over the summer, even get a second job if I need to. There will be that much more money in the bank to help me out the last two years of school. Believe me, I have thought of everything." 

Jesse started to reply, and I felt my resolve falter. I couldn't take his discouragement and I broke down. "Jesse, please try to understand." 

My throat felt clogged with emotion. "Of all the people I've discussed this with, you are the last one I thought I'd have to persuade. You're supposed to be on my side. I can't stand leaving you, okay? I need you. I know that makes me sound like a total wuss, but except for my aunt and uncle you are the only person who loves me. I just can't do it..." 

I felt myself enfolded in his arms and consoled. "Alright. Alright, Blondie. I'm sorry for doubting you." He stroked my hair and thumbed the tears off my cheeks. 

"God, I an be such an ass sometimes," he said, letting a mouthful of air balloon in his cheeks before blowing it out harshly. "I should be grateful that you're trying to plan for both our futures so we can stay together and I'm giving you bullshit. I'm sorry I didn't believe in you." 

I calmed down and let his comfort wash over me, giving it right back to him because I hated seeing him loathe himself like that. "Just give me two years, and I will prove I made the right decision. I promise." 

The next night Jesse and I went out to eat, driving into Goleta to check out a place called Habit that allegedly served some of the best hamburgers in the area. Parking was bad so we had to leave Jesse's Jeep across the street, but the food tasted great, it was inexpensive and there was lots of it. 

We were sitting at a small table wedged in back and almost done with our meal when three girls our age passed us, probably on their way to the restroom. I think the only reason I noticed them was that one strongly reminded me the tiny cheerleader from Loara High I had dated when I was living in Rancho Martinez. Except that her hair was a red-brown, not blonde, and cut to her shoulders instead of mid-back, she could have been her sister. She caught my eye and grinned in invitation as she disappeared behind me, and I smiled back. 

Jesse was watching me watch her, and I didn't think anything of it. I certainly wasn't flirting, just being friendly in my typical fashion. I heard the noisy chatter of the girls approaching our table, and this time they stopped. Olivia, the lookalike, and her friends, Mary and Kimber, were all seniors from Goleta High. I introduced myself and Jesse to them, and as we got to chatting I was surprised to find him scowling at the table. After his dark hello he refused to look at us. 

We talked about local news, mostly in teasing comparisons of our high schools, but Jesse didn't join in. I subtly began to sense what was bugging him. The teens were putting out their best efforts to draw me in with their batting eyelashes, giggles and megawatt smiles. He thought I was attracted to one of them, and he didn't like them encroaching on what he thought was his. Jesse was jealous and insecure. 

He is and forever will be the most important person in my life, and even giving him a second of mistrust killed me. We make fun of each other back and forth a hundred times a day but not in this way. It hurt him to think his boyfriend would try to hit on someone behind his back, or even right in front of him, and I was going to put this to rest immediately. As casually as I could, I covered his hand with mine and began rubbing my thumb in circles over his knuckles. The girls, seeing the gesture, smiled a little less brightly and presently excused themselves. 

I tilted towards him and whispered in his ear, "You never, ever have to worry, Baby. I'm yours." He didn't look up at me but through his hair I could see how his beaming smile lifted his whole face. 

We left with our usual destination in mind— my house where we could cuddle undisturbed which often led to some amazing intimacy. However, tonight my father's car was in the driveway. As much as I would have liked to relax with Jesse in front of our television and play Xbox games, there was no way I was going to introduce him to Dad. Even if we weren't lovers, he would suspect the worst and not only humiliate me but drive Jesse out of the house with his homophobic humor. That was precisely the kind of great dad he was. 

Instead, Jesse and I went to the ballfield just as the Little League games were ending and parked on the empty t-ball side of the lot. We were both horny and frustrated but we patiently waited for the families to leave and the league officials to close up the snack bar and say goodnight to each other. They didn't even notice us.

Switching to the back seat, we made out for the next hour and sucked each other off twice. It was cramped and rather uncomfortable but so worth it. I loved the taste of Jesse's cum and his sweat, they way they mixed with his Cool Water musk to waft into my sinuses and push every other thought except my lover from my mind. I could play for hours with his dick in my mouth and drive him nearly insane with arousal, taking my own sweet time to satisfy. 

After the second time I tucked Jesse neatly away in his jeans and checked the time on my cell phone, surprised to find it was only 10:30. I still had another hour before I was supposed to be in for the night, and neither of us wanted to leave yet. There was a small creek that ran behind the ballfield, feeding a copse of oak trees on either side of a narrow path. Jesse said it was a pretty walk and I was game. We slipped down the hill to find the moon shining through the branches leaving a lacy pattern on the ground that we could easily follow. We held hands crisscrossing the stream several times following the trail, and half an hour later it brought us out at the other end of the parking lot. 

We strolled back across the asphalt, drawing up short to find a Sheriff's patrol car stopped behind Jesse's silver Cherokee and a deputy in the process of writing out a ticket. He straightened when we came nearer. 

"Which one of you owns the Jeep?" he asked, all professional, formal and intimidating. 

"I do." Jesse raised his hand, gulping, and even in the moonlight I could see him shivering. I grabbed his arm. 

"Officer," I explained, taking note of his nametag that said 'Erickson'. "We weren't doing anything except taking a walk." 

He gave me a skeptical look that made me feel as if he'd been close by for hours and watched us going down on each other. "Did either of you see the sign posted at the entrance that says the park closes at dusk?" 

Exchanging glances, Jesse and I gulped nervously. I never paid much attention to stuff like that, and from his reaction, he hadn't noticed it any more than I had. We shook our heads and waited. 

"You're just lucky that I saw you go down into the woods," the cop stated severely. "I could charge you with not only the trespassing but make a criminal mischief case too. We have a lot of problem with graffiti."

We stared at each other, and Jesse shivered in fear. I pulled him towards me, hoping the cop wasn't one of those prejudiced assholes, and linked my arm around his waist protectively.

Perhaps he took pity on us or didn't want to deal with the paperwork issues our arrest would cause him, but at this point he tried to look stern and failed. Barely concealing a smile, he closed his book with a sigh. 

"See here, kids, this is a public park with posted hours of operation, and it closed three hours ago. There are certain... uh, activities... that are illegal in public. Even inside personal vehicles. Do you get my drift?" 

"Yes, sir," we echoed. Mortified, I hid a gasp of distress that I had been right about the man. I couldn't look at Jesse but I knew his face was as hot and red as mine. Now we were both trembling. 

"I'm going to let you off with a warning for now." Officer Erickson put his book in his pocket and moved towards his cruiser. "Get a room next time, boys." 

We collapsed into each other's arms once he left, giggling in relief and embarrassment. "I'll bet he got an eyeful," I squeaked. 

"You must have given him pointers on the right way to give a blowjob and he's rushing home to share them with his wife," he retorted. "He probably doesn't get nearly enough and that's why he had to watch us." 

"Perv," I agreed. "Let's get out of here." 

It seemed funny on the other side, but we were subdued on the ride to my house. Oh fuck, I could just imagine my father's face if I'd gotten arrested for public indecency for giving Jesse head in the backseat of his car. There would be no grace whatsoever, and we were both lucky the cop had been in a forgiving mood. 

Jesse dropped me off at home with a quick kiss and another nervous giggle. All I wanted was to get inside and go to bed. But, as if the end of my day wasn't fucked up enough, Dad was waiting up for me. 

"I thought I told you that your curfew was 10:30 on school nights," he growled. 

"I don't have school," I replied in a sullen voice, wishing I was brave enough to speak my mind and let him have it over how neglected I felt. Had he been paying any kind of attention normal to most parents, he would have realized I was still on spring break. "Calberia High gives us two weeks off. I don't go back until Monday." 

"Who is that boy you were with?" 

So he had seen us in the Jeep. My mouth went dry wondering what he had spotted through the windows. "His name is Jesse Capps. He's a friend." 

"Just a friend I hope for your sake, Shane." 

"Yeah, that's all," I fibbed, trying to relax now that he obviously hadn't seen us kissing. "Don't worry." 

"Good, because you know how I feel about you sleeping with all your little faggot boyfriends."

I glared at him mulishly and muttered curses under my breath, hurt by the way he assumed without any basis other than a wish to act ugly. Standing right in front of me, even he couldn't fail to observe my lips moving. 

"I didn't catch that," he accused, his temper rising. "Do you want to try that again?" 

Dad was in typical form tonight. Shown up for not taking the time to notice my school schedule, he had turned it around to try to start a fight with me. I was getting tired of his demeaning attitude because he obviously thought I was some kind of slut. 

"Contrary to what you and Mom believe, I don't sleep with every boy I make friends with," I stated firmly. "It is possible for us bi guys to have platonic relationships just like you don't go groping every woman you meet." 

His eyes snapped fire, and I nearly took a step back wondering if he was going to strike me. Instead, he pointed to the hall. "Get the fuck out of my sight and go to your room, Shane. One week's restriction for mouthing off. No television, no video games and no going out in the evenings." 

I left without a word, knowing that Dad wouldn't bother to stay home and enforce it. He was such a joke if he thought I was going to do it myself. 





Call Out Your Name Ch. 04



A thought obviously came to mind because I could see his expression shift, and his glower softened. "Did you do this because of Jesse?" 

"Not because of him," I admitted quietly. "For him. I want to go to Hope Ranch for two years and play football. I can go to a university in my junior and senior years leaving enough time for Jesse to get his Associates Degree so he can move with me. It's ideal." 

Carl threw me a look like I had my head in the clouds and was too immature to know what I wanted, and it made me angry. It seemed that nobody, not even my boyfriend, realized how long and hard I had thought about my decision, but my mind was made up. This was the only way to be together, the best of both worlds. We would obtain the instruction needed for our careers but we'd have each other for love and support too. 

"Then answer me this," my uncle demanded, playing devil's advocate. "What if you and Jesse break up?" I started to interrupt, and he put his hand up. "No, let me finish. You're young, Shane. You think you know your mind now, but in a couple of years, it could all be different. Problems pop up that lead to major disagreements. People grow apart. If you two split, you will have wasted your opportunity for nothing." 

"Not for nothing," I protested vehemently, and I had to check the anger blazing inside of me that he would even think of such a thing. "First of all, Jesse and I aren't going to split up. Ever. We have never had a fight. We don't even disagree most of the time. We love each other and want the same things. Second, no matter what, my plans wouldn't change. It doesn't mean I can't go to college somewhere else and play." 

Carl regarded me silently, looking as though he wanted to make another comment and then changed his mind. Shaking his head in what was probably disappointment in me he said he would see if there were additional hours he could find for me over the summer. I nodded my thanks as I bolted out the door to finish my tasks before we sailed. 

The new week rolled around and Jesse and I were back at school. Standing in the quad during our fifteen minute nutrition break on Tuesday morning, I noticed a tiny Asian woman in her early twenties looking around uncertainly. I knew she wasn't a teacher, and she was definitely too old to be a student. I nudged Jesse. "Who is that?" 

He turned around and smiled. "Oh, that's Mi Kyong Park, Kwan's older sister. I'll bet he forgot his homework again. She always has to bring it to him." 

Kwan was the kid in our English class who had first given me Jesse's name. He wasn't my favorite person in the world but was alright as far as most of the Calberia students went. My biggest strike against Kwan was that he was gay and had a crush on Jesse. I hated watching him giggle and flirt, assuming my boy was single and doing whatever he could think of to attract his attention. Jesse said he was harmless and it would be better to ignore his behavior than get angry, so I tried to let it go. Sometimes, however, it was difficult to overlook and I'd want to tell him that Jesse was mine and keep his poaching hands off him. 

Jesse was hailing Mi Kyong and when she noticed him her eyes lit up. Sure enough, Kwan had forgotten his English assignment that was due in 5th period, and Jesse volunteered to give it to him. 

As for me, I was paying more attention over the ease in which Mi Kyong was allowed to roam the campus, and I would bet she hadn't stopped at the office to check in either. Such a thing would never have happened at Sacred Heart or any of the other high schools I could think of. Security here in Calberia was very lax, and it highlighted how effortlessly a non-student could slip a threat through Jesse's locker door or tape it to his car. 

As usual, we met after 6th period in the far parking lot, and the threats had been on my mind since seeing Kwan's older sister at school. "Hey, what did your mother say about the notes you're getting?" 

"What?" he asked, looking perplexed. There was just enough ingenuity to what sounded like an innocent question to make me wonder. 

"The notes you've been getting? Remember, you were going to speak to your mom. What did she say?" 

He turned with shrugging shoulders to unlock his jeep, but not before I saw the abashed look on his face. 

"You didn't tell her, did you," I sighed in exasperation. "Jesse, this is serious and I'm afraid..." 

"I talked to her, Shane, honest." He was looking at me now, even right in the eyes. I remembered reading somewhere that liars couldn't maintain eye contact. So maybe this was the truth. 

"What did she say?" 

He shrugged again. "She's checking into it for me and said she'd let me know." 

I was calculating. It had been eight days since the last note showed up, and if he spoke to his mother right away she had plenty of time to talk to a cop or someone at the school. But Jesse was giving me a look that said he wanted to drop the subject, and I didn't want to appear as if I didn't trust him. So I had to let it go. 

Wednesday was the deadline for purchasing prom tickets. Jesse had been putting a lot of pressure on me to attend but I was dragging my feet. He almost had me convinced to do the 'just as friends' thing. He said he'd take me out for a romantic dinner in some little out-of-the-way spot, giving us less chance of running into a couple from school. Then we could put on the platonic act once we reached the small country club where the dance was held. But at the last minute my fear got the best of me and I walked away from the Finance window, my cash clutched tightly in my sweaty hand. 

I met Jesse at my house after class ended, and even though he was smiling, I could see a trace of defeat and sadness beneath it. I was naturally dense and wracking my brain for what could be bothering him. It took me almost an hour... we were in the middle of playing Assassin's Creed 3... when I stumbled on the reason. Duh! I was the reason! Jesse was going to miss his senior prom and it was my fault. My selfishness and cowardice had held him back from attending a dance that he'd been looking forward to. 

I cleared my throat nervously. "Uh, maybe they would let you buy a ticket tomorrow at school. They probably need the money. You could go by yourself if it means that much to you." 

He turned his head and stared at me, dispirited. "Why would I want to do that? It isn't the event that's the important thing. It's the person I go with." He tried to shake the gloom off and gave me a genuine grin. "It will be okay, Shane. It's the weekend of our three-month anniversary so I know we'll spend it together." 

Okay, that statement made me feel even worse. I sat watching him out of the corner of my eye for the longest time, amazed at how understanding he was and feeling like shit. I knew I had really fucked up. Yes, I was probably right about being able to buy tickets past the deadline. I knew it would be easy to convince one of the members of the student council to sell me two. But I was such a chicken-shit asshole. 

For all the world I could not make myself buy a ticket. I could not make force myself to show up stag at the prom and pretend to be straight while girls asked me to dance. Making my classmates wonder when I turned every one of them down because the only person I wanted to take in my arms on the dance floor was someone I couldn't be seen in public with. I would worry how a classmate might somehow link me to Jesse for my father to learn about later. 

I pulled Jesse to his feet and we went into my bedroom. I felt lousy, like I was the worst boyfriend in the world. My way of fixing it was sex, something I was accomplished at, where I could help Jesse feel good physically and let the emotional side catch up later. Even if it didn't resolve the issue, it helped. 

Jesse passively let me undress him. As I worked his shirt up his torso my tongue followed, swirling around his navel and licking and kissing the firm, lean muscles in his abdomen. With his satiny skin and enticing scent that I never tired of, he was a banquet for my mouth to sample. My hands massaged his solid shoulders and long, golden back, distracting him temporarily before I zeroed in on his nipples. They were tasty, so taut and bumpy under the flat of my tongue, and he moaned, burying his fingers in my hair. 

Lifting the shirt above his head, I trapped his hands in the cotton and went to work on his pits. He only had a cute tiny patch of wispy black hair in each but I bit and sucked one side, then the other, until they were soaked with my saliva and he was squirming and wheezing. My mouth moved to his shoulder, then across the collar bones to the other and took a detour to mark the hollow of his throat. His groans and shivers just tempted me further, and I ended with a trail of kisses down his torso to the top of his jeans. 

I knelt once more to unfasten them. "Tell me what you want, Baby," I breathed, making quick work of the button and stroking his hard length with the heel of my hand. I could feel his heat through the denim. 

"Shane, I... I want..." 

I looked up into his flushed face. His black hair clung damply to his cheeks and his latte eyes were shadowed with desire. "You want..." I repeated. He swayed, and I grabbed his hip to steady him. 

"Your mouth... on... on me," he begged. 

"See, that wasn't so hard," I teased. "But this is." I gently squeezed his lovely dick trying to force its way out the fly and his moan was like music to me. 

I slid the zipper down and worked my hands inside the waistband, hooking the edge of his bikini briefs with my thumbs. Carefully I lowered them both so his cock wouldn't get caught in the fabric, and he whimpered when they slid over his balls. I feasted my eyes on his straight, tawny cock, and the bell-shaped head glistened dusky-red in the dim light. Soon his jeans were pooled around his ankles. 

I licked my lips and leaned forwards. Kissing the head of his dick, I slid my lips down to lock around the corona, washing the head with my tongue and sucking precum from the slit. "Fuck," Jesse gasped, tottering on his unsteady legs. 

I pulled my mouth off his cock with a wet pop and stared up at him. "This is mine, Jesse." I licked the head, and more precum welled up for me to taste. "All mine, just like the rest of you." 

"Yours," he panted with a decisive nod. "I promise... yours. Now will you get on with it? Please?" 

I couldn't help laughing. "Ooh, you sound so pretty when you say please. I like that." 

I swirled around the head again to make sure I got all of his salty precum and then trailed my tongue down the shaft to his nuts so I could suck on them. They felt solid in my mouth, rolling around in the soft, nearly hairless sac. Jesse was trembling against me, making little mewling sounds to show that he was really enjoying this and I hadn't even taken most of his six inches into my mouth yet. 

Jesse seemed to be plenty conscious of this fact. "Oh god, Shane, please suck my dick. I need to cum in your mouth." 

I hadn't been aware he was that close and I lovingly kissed the twin orbs before raising to slurp his shaft between my lips. Bobbing up and down on him, it was only a matter of seconds until I felt his cock thicken and his cum began to shoot across my tongue. Delicious, just like the rest of him. It took several swallows to drink it all down, all the while keeping an arm around his thighs so he wouldn't fall over. I didn't care that his sweat was soaking into my shirt or that he was squeezing my head like a vice, all that mattered was his pleasure. 

I gazed up at him, his eyes closed and his heartbeat a gallop on the side of his throat. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, I'm good. That was real good." 

I was pensive holding Jesse close afterwards. I had stripped down and we were on my bed. He offered to give me a blowjob but I declined because this afternoon was for him. Matching my breathing to his I was trying to relax both of us but it wasn't working. 

"I'm sorry," I whispered, pushing his hair off his forehead. "I'm such a coward, and you deserve so much better than me. I stress you out, and I don't give you what you need." 

"No, Shane, that's not true," he protested. "The prom thing was... well, I understand how careful you have to be with your dad. And you're right; if somebody at school talked he might find out about me and it would ruin everything." 

I tried to cut in and tell him that he shouldn't have to make allowances, but he drew a finger over my lips to silence me. "I know it's just for a little while longer," he urged, "until we start college and both of us are working. Then we can find a place of our own and we won't care who knows I'm your boyfriend. I can wait." 

Tears came to my eyes, and I pulled Jesse in tighter. It was hard to put into words how important he was to me. The sneaking around and how we weren't free to be ourselves with the outside world was getting to me but I didn't know any other way. 

"We'll get through it, Shane," he said soothingly. "Don't worry. I know we'll be fine." 





Call Out Your Name Ch. 04



When he finally had me a dripping, moaning mess and I thought I was going to explode, I heard the words I had been longing for: "Turn over." 

I got in position on my knees over a towel, head down and ass in the air, offering myself to him wantonly. "Shit, what a slut you are," he laughed. "Just a little anxious, eh?" 

His correct assessment of me didn't hurt my feelings and I laughed. "For you, I'll be anything you want." 

I heard a loving catch in his voice when he said, "Tell me what to do." 

"Lube and condoms are in the nightstand drawer," I instructed hoarsely. "Use lots of lube. If it seems like too much, it's the right amount." 

I tried to relax, but all I could think of was my last ill-fated attempt at bottoming. I knew Jesse was different in that he loved me, and the last was just teenage experimentation, but still. I hissed between my teeth when I felt the cold lube trickle down between the globes of my ass and his finger wiggling ever so slightly against my pucker trying to fight its way in. 

"You're clenching," Jesse complained. "I may not have any experience, but even I know you need to relax." Reaching under me, he grasped my flagging cock with his other hand and began to pump it. It was enough to get me thinking about the sensations his stroking fingers were causing up and down my filling flesh instead of what that one digit was trying to invade, and he was able to slip it inside. 

It burned. I bit my lip to keep from shouting out curses, knowing that Jesse would take it personally and stop. So I willed myself to stay quiet and let his finger saw in and out of me, and slowly my sphincter got used to the fullness. As the pain diminished, I calmed down, knowing it was under control and Jesse wouldn't hurt me. 

"This is fantastic," Jesse exclaimed in awe, leaning his head against my hip. "You are so hot up inside, and it feels really soft, like silk or suede. Are you ready for more?" 

"Alright, try a second one," I told him. Cool lube to the anus, a thicker intrusion but slightly less pain. I had Jesse scissor his fingers to open me up and I prepared for the third and final one. 

He got his fingers up inside my ass without any trouble, and I was getting used to the odd feeling of being stretched when his twisting fingers brushed something there and I lit up like a candle. 

"What did you do?" I gasped before realizing that he'd found my prostate. I never knew it made so much difference. "Oh my god, Jesse, do that again." 

"Hmm, like that, do you?" Jesse laughed at my reactions but he turned his fingers around, searching inside me again. He began to stroke the hot spot, and my cock fired up firm and twitching as it began to leak a puddle of precum into the looped cotton beneath me. I could almost feel sparks inside me, like a chain being dragged behind a car, and my hips began to thrust in the air seeking a solid contact to hump against. 

"In me," I begged Jesse. "In me... in me now." 

It seemed like Jesse was taking forever to tear the cover off a condom, unroll it up his own rigid member and wrap his lubed fingers around himself to slick up. "Oh god, I don't know if I can make this last," he groaned. 

"I know," I panted. "It might be the shortest fuck in history." 

I had him line up behind me, and I felt the tip of his penis at my portal. I knew I was loose enough that the breaching wasn't going to be painful, so when he entered me I didn't tense up. It was still a shock; even though his dick was narrower at the end of his shaft, it was bigger than the breadth of his fingers, and Jesse waited for my signal. 

"Okay," I breathed a few minutes later. "I'm okay as long as you move slowly." 

I whimpered when Jesse began corkscrewing his hips and seeking out my depths. Not because it hurt, but because it felt so damned good. What arced through me was knowing that it was Jesse on the other end of his penis. This was my man inside making love to me. I trusted him, he trusted me and he would take care of me. It was as simple as that, the most elemental part of being in love. 

He pushed in very slowly, parts of inches at a time. "You are a tight fit," he husked. "It feels so good, and I honestly don't have any way to describe it." I knew what he was speaking of, so he didn't need to explain. 

He kept rocking forward, using my shoulder and hip for leverage, sheathing more of himself inside my hole with every pass. Finally, he was fully seated, and I could feel his pubic hair brushing my ass. 

"Oh fuck," I moaned, almost overwhelmed. 

Jesse was breathing harshly along with me. Shallow strokes of exploration turned into longer, deeper thrusts, and he nudged my knees a little farther apart so he could cradle my thighs better. At that point the physical sensation took over and became very intense when his cock scraped my prostate. 

"Jesse... oh Baby... oh, yes... yes, harder." 

He gave me harder. Jesse began to pound into me with everything he had, his hips snapping into me like a jackhammer. Every single thrust rubbed on those sensitive nerve endings, and I began to feel the tightening in my muscles and prickles racing through me. Jesse leaned over my back to wrap his hand around my cock, sliding it up and down for all he was worth as he kissed my shoulders. Sweat was dripping from my hair, off my nose and down my arms, and I could hear him panting like he'd run a marathon. Or maybe that was me. 

"Shane, oh my god, I'm cumming." 

I felt a quick pulse and then the warmth as he shot into the condom. It was all too much and every synapse seemed to fire at the same time in an orgasm I felt in my toes. My hole clamped around his dick, milking him of everything he had. 

"Fuck, Jesse, fuck." I was screaming as I unloaded cum in long strings on the towel. 

I collapsed underneath Jesse, and he caught himself on his elbow as he fell with me, concerned over making me take the brunt of his full weight. We continued to breathe hard until we came down from the heavens because that was where I ended up. 

Jesse sent me into paradise. 





Call Out Your Name Ch. 04



If you want a boxer I will step into the ring for you. And if you want a doctor I'll examine every inch of you. If you want a driver climb inside, or if you want to take me for a ride, you know you can 'cause I'm your man.

Sitting wide-eyed on the edge of my seat, I gulped at the loving glow in his beautiful pale eyes that stared directly at me. At first I was a little unnerved by his focus, but there was such devotion in his face, I let myself relax and stopped worrying about what I had to lose. Yeah, for those paying close attention he was announcing his feelings for the world to see and outing me in front of the student body. The funny thing was, it didn't even upset me that much. All I could hear, all I could see was his love for me. 

Ah, the moon's too bright, the chain's too tight, the beast won't go to sleep. I've been running through these promises to you that I made and I could not keep. Ah, but a man never got a lover back, not by begging on his knees. Or I'd crawl to you baby and I'd fall at your feet.

I was dimly aware of a few students around me gaping at Jesse, watching the visual connection between the two of us and grinning in sudden awareness. Like our whole secret might be going up in flames in front of them, but for now all I felt was pride in him, my beautiful music man. There would be fallout to deal with and minimize tomorrow, but I was caught up in the moment. Come what may, the here and now was far too remarkable not to get lost in. 

Jesse was mine. Always and forever mine, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, just like the wedding vows said. Not a possession or an object to love, but a living, breathing everlasting embodiment of a dream. For us to share our feelings with, to strive to be better men for. I would do anything for him. Anything. 

"I love you," I mouthed under my breath at the end of the song, and he grinned so I know he saw me. 

"I love you too," he mouthed just before he disappeared into the wings to raucous cheering and clapping. 





Call Out Your Name Ch. 05



Readers: Warning. This story takes a definite turn away from happy. Read at your own risk.

*

I woke up the following morning before my alarm clock went off feeling well rested.

I shouldn't have been surprised really. The Fine Arts Presentation ended before nine, and Jesse's mother wanted him to go directly home. Without any opportunity to be alone, especially under the gaze of his family, all he and I could do was speak in general terms. I offered my praise for the good work he'd done on stage in his drama presentations and dances. He thanked me for showing up, and even his eyes were silent lest he give any of his feelings away. There was some lingering curiosity from our fellow-students, but neither of us was inclined to further entertain them by displaying our affection publicly. Our stares across the parking lot spoke our regret for us, and then he was gone.

My dad's house was... no surprise... dark. It was odd being home at this time of night with nothing to do, so I used the occasion to study for my upcoming finals. We seniors had to take them early due to next week's graduation and all the end-of-year activities. Jesse sent me a good night text, and I went to bed early enough to get a full eight hours of sleep.

So here I was, awake and thinking about Jesse's dance from last night and wondering if it was going to change my life here in Calberia. Should I worry or be happy about it? For once I had behaved fearlessly without worry over who knew or what the other students had seen or how it was interpreted. Also with Jesse's family in the audience, it was as if he was announcing his intentions loud and clear to them, and I wished that courage could carry over so I would be able to proudly introduce him as my boyfriend to my family. But... just no.

Not for the first time I reflected how much easier my life would be if Jesse was female. Now don't get me wrong. I'm glad he's a man. I adore his lithe body with all its masculine parts as much as I appreciate how we can be dirty and nasty together. Two male friends who don't have to worry about offending more sensitive ears with our jokes and bullshitting. I enjoy being with him as two men in love, but there's no getting around the fact that if Jesse had been a girl I wouldn't need to tiptoe around my father. And it was going to get worse before it got better.

I was in an almost impossible situation where, as my living arrangements stood now, I'd never be able to do anything other than hide my attraction for Jesse and skulk around to see him, all the while afraid of detection. At least Uncle Carl had added me as a full-time employee over the summer so leaving high school in a week would allow me to cram as many hours on his boats as I could get. Jesse was looking for work too, and I might even have to take on a second job to earn enough money to move out. That was the goal, but once college started in the fall, taking a full load of classes, playing football for the Hope Ranch team and working full time was going to be exhausting. Frankly, I couldn't see how I'd manage, but in order to live openly with my boyfriend, I would have to find a way.

I arrived at school and very little seemed to have changed for Jesse and me, although we caught a few inquisitive glances. I think our classmates were waiting for us to take the first step, and that we didn't made some of them second guess what they had witnessed at the FAP. Maybe, they rationalized, Jesse had actually been staring at one of the girls sitting behind me, not at me directly. Possibly my intense scrutiny was due to him being my best friend.

It was a quiet day... until I trotted into the parking lot after the bell rang to find Jesse leaning tensely against his Cherokee reading what looked suspiciously like another stalker note. He hadn't even heard me approach and jumped when I put my hand out to take it from him. He listened sheepishly when I read out loud.

"Haf fun w/Ur faggot boy 4 now but Ur days are #'d."

I felt myself go pale. Of the twelve or so threats that Jesse had received over the last four and a half months, this was the first one to ever mention me.

"He must have been at the FAP last night," Jesse whispered in anguish. "He saw me sing to you and that's why he's dragging you into my problem now. I'm so sorry, Shane."

I shook my head and resisted balling the note in my fist because all of them were evidence against this wacko asshole. "I don't care about that, Baby. What I care about is getting this guy locked up or whatever it takes so he can't bother you anymore."

He didn't answer me, and I pressed him. "Are you scared now?"

I looked into his pale brown eyes and saw it. He was frightened, but not for himself. For me. Good enough, I'd use it if he was finally willing to talk to someone in authority about the harassment.

"Let's go see Mr. Peabody right now," I suggested, knowing the principal was still in his office. "Get the ones out of your locker. I'll back you up, okay?"

"I can't today," Jesse answered, taking the note back from me and folding it into his binder. "I promised my sister I'd come home right after school because she needs me to watch my nephew for a few hours. She has to go to Santa Barbara and buy a textbook for a summer class at the university she's enrolled in."

I sighed, hoping this wasn't one of Jesse's avoiding tactics again. "Can't she postpone? This is important."

Jesse paused in thought, and for a fraction of a second I actually believed he might do it. Then his face fell. "No, I don't want to ask her to put it off. This can wait one more day."

"Alright, but remember, you promised so we talk to him no later than tomorrow."

He smiled, and I swear, the look he threw me was self-satisfied, like he'd once again bargained his way out of trouble. I didn't want to snap at him and start another argument, but even scared about the threats, he wasn't going to do anything about them unless I forced him. I was tired of it all. Mostly I was tired of being scared too.

Jesse and I had decided not to see each other that evening. Jenna, his sister, was known for changing plans at the last minute, especially if she had a willing babysitter for her son. Her errand of a few hours could magically expand into running into friends on campus and deciding to go out for dinner and a movie. As for me, it was one of the few nights when I didn't know my father's plans ahead of time, so he might arrive home right after work or he might spend the night with his girlfriend. Even if he hadn't been my boyfriend, it wouldn't be wise to have Jesse in the house alone with me should Dad bother to show up.

It was 7:30 and my mind was fully engaged in studying for a difficult 2nd period Trigonometry final I would be taking on Thursday, two days away. I had solid A's in every subject except math where my grade was teetering between a B-/C+, and if I got a high score on the exam I might even get an A- because of the extra credit I'd slaved over for two hours after school.

My phone lit up with an incoming call, and of course it was Jesse. "Watcha doing?" he chirped.

"Cramming for my Trig final." I stretched out the kinks in my back.

"Is your dad home?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure," I answered, suddenly curious. I stepped into the hall and listened to silence as I made my way to the living room to peer through the blinds. Except for my Impala the driveway was empty.

"No. He must be with Jillian again." Usually if my father wasn't home by seven he wouldn't be here at all.

"Why don't I come over then and keep you company? Jenna got back an hour ago and I'm bored. Besides, we haven't had a chance to spend any time together since last Friday."

He was right about that. I'd worked all weekend for my uncle on the Sorsha Lynn, including a longer-than-usual charter up the Pacific coastline on Saturday where we didn't put into port until almost nine o'clock. On Sunday he'd spent the evening with his family at some relative's birthday party, and last night was the FAP. It had been four days since we'd made love.

Still, the day had been exhausting. I was tired and needed to study. "Not tonight, Jesse."

"Ah, come on, Blondie. Just for a little while?"

We bickered back and forth while I tried to convince him how important the test was for me and why I needed so much study time for it. When we hung up I thought that was it. Fifteen minutes later I heard a knock on the front door at the same time that my phone buzzed again.

"It's me outside," Jesse crowed. "Let me in."

Groaning inwardly I got up and opened the front door to find him lounging on the porch looking smug. "Hiya, Blondie. I couldn't wait until tomorrow to see you, so here I am."

He tried to pull me into a hug and I stood there stiffly. To tell the truth, I was irritated that he wouldn't take me seriously. He thought he could just come over when I specifically asked him to stay home.

Jesse pouted at me in fun. "Don't tell me you're mad," he said, letting his voice drop seductively. He lifted his backpack off his shoulder. "See, I brought my books too. We can cram together."

Yeah, like that was going to work. Except for the Brontë sisters project, every time we tried to get together to study, we ended up fucking or going down on each other. It was like we couldn't be in the same room and keep our hands off each other without a chaperone.

I brought this up. "You know what will happen, Jesse. I wish you would listen to me when I'm trying to be serious and not override my decisions. I meant what I said about my Trig grade. I have to raise it."

"I know something else you're good at raising," he smirked, looking down at the bulge in his jeans.

"See?" I exclaimed in frustration, turning and marching into my bedroom. "That's exactly what I was talking about. Thanks, Jesse, you have proven my point."

He followed on my heels, trying to keep from giggling. "I'm just yanking your chain. But honestly, what's the deal with your math grade? You're just going to a community college next year. You don't need straight A's."

I was going to retort that the reason I wasn't attending a university was because of him until I realized I was the one pushing Hope Ranch, not Jesse, and my mouth snapped shut. Part of what he said made sense, but I had perfectionist tendencies, and getting a good grade in Trig was a challenge to me. It was a personal goal.

I made Jesse sit on the chair in front of my computer stand while I took the bed, and for a little while we did get some work done. Presently Jesse began to act restless.

"Hmm, I was wondering if you would mind waiting to tell the principal about the notes until after we finish finals on Monday. That's only three extra days, and we'd be done with our testing so however he chooses to handle it won't interfere with study."

My head shot up. Okay, here we go again. I guess I should have known better than expect him to simply cave in to my suggestion for being the right thing to do, but seriously, the way he was stringing it out terrified me. Nearly vibrating in anger, I settled for giving Jesse a black look.

"Well hell, why settle for waiting for Monday? Why not until the day we graduate? Or even better, don't tell anyone at all? Isn't that what you're after? Let's keep this a big secret, and when some ass walks up to you in the parking lot and beats the shit out of you we can pretend like it was a fucking surprise."

"Shane, that's not what I meant..."

"Bullshit," I shouted. "You are so full of it, Jesse. I worry about you every single day. That some whacked out creeper is out there waiting to hurt you, and la-de-da, it's nothing to you. Just give up some of your macho pride for a change and let someone who has experience with this kind of thing help you instead of carrying it all by yourself."

"But there is so much going on for the end of school."

"Not tomorrow there isn't," I pointed out. "It's a normal school day. You can talk to Mr. Peabody either before or after school and get it over with. Just think of how good it's going to feel to get the weight off your back once you do."

He nodded but he wasn't happy. I put my book down and massaged my temples. I hated fighting with him, and with these threats, that's all we ever did anymore.

"Come here." I scooted over and patted the bed beside me. Yeah, this was going to lead to make-up sex. Or at least, remind-Jesse-that-I-loved-him-and-convince-him-that-I-knew-what-was-best-for-him sex.

He flew to my side and bounced, landing next to me. He kissed me softly on the lips. I kissed him gently back. Then he crushed me to him tightly, and we shoved our tongues inside open mouths to dance together.

Kissing and touching, we had each other undressed in record time. We stretched out next to each other, our bodies slithering together in joyous abandon, all the parts meshing and creating friction that aroused both of us into sweaty, panting, primitive beings. After the lapse of four days, with the stress of the notes and studying and particularly because of our fighting, I needed to be inside Jesse and show him he was still mine forever.

"I want to suck you," he husked, tears in his eyes because the need was his own as well. "Please."

I reached up and gently wiped the tears away, giving him a smile of contentment. Flattening myself on top of the sheets, I spread my legs for him.

His mouth was so wonderfully warm as his lips circled the head of my cock and his tongue lapped at me. He hollowed his cheeks to suck precum from my slit and I swore I saw stars behind my eyelids. Sliding his lips over my balls to pull on them made my groin lift off the bed in rhapsody, and when he began to bob over me, he took the tip almost into his throat before gagging. I could feel his whole mouth stretching for every millimeter of my shaft, and my tingling nuts told me that if he kept this up I was going to cum in his mouth.

"Enough," I moaned. "It feels too damn good, Baby, and I won't last much longer."

Jesse and I exchanged positions, and I fetched the lube and a condom out of my drawer. Even hard and aching as I was, I took time to kiss and nibble all the sensitive parts of his body. That place on his throat just below the hollow and across his collar bones, his brown nipples that shrunk down into such cute little peaks and swirling my tongue in his belly button. He was whimpering and thrashing by the time I reached his ass.

A lubed finger found his rosebud and pushed inside. His channel gripped me in moist silkiness as I opened him up. With two digits I found his prostate and played tag with it, making Jesse moan and the lean muscles of his abdomen clench. I was turning him on with my sly little taps, and his body was humming and taut with anticipation by the time my third finger slipped in.

When Jesse was nearly to the point where the sensations were crashing into him more than he could stand, his eyes would rapidly shift back and forth under his lids and the muscles of his thighs and abdomen would tense. It wasn't the same as orgasm, but it was a good non-verbal signal that he was tired of me teasing him and needed my dick up inside him.

He was there now, and I unrolled a condom on my erection and lubed up, shivering at my own light touch through the latex. I lifted his ankles to my shoulders and gently pushed against his bud through the muscular guardians into his tight, hot hole.

I knew exactly how long to lie still and allow him to adjust to me, and when he was ready he had a favorite way for me to seat myself. I rolled my hips into him and rotated at the same time.

"Oh god, Shane!" He dug his fingers into my shoulder and moaned once I was fully in.

"What, it doesn't feel good?" I joked hoarsely, teasing him because I loved hearing the answer. I pushed his blue-black hair out of his sparkling latte eyes.

"Oh shit, Blondie, you know it does... it feels so damn good."

I pulled his legs down and he wrapped them around my thighs, laying himself open for me to plunder. My hips surged forward, in and out of his velvety soft chute. I stared into his eyes, afraid to lose this contact with him and loving the expression of bliss on his face. Harder I drove into him, each jab raking his prostate as he lifted his hips to meet me. I watched shudders race through him.

I reached between our bodies and took his dick in my hand. Stroking it expertly, I watched Jesse's eyes roll back in his head. "Oh fuck, ooh, Blondie," he shouted, and he went off like a geyser, spraying cum all over our torsos. His ass clasped around my dick convulsively, and I rode right over the brink with him, streaming cum into the condom with a crescendo of groans, panting gasps and writhing limbs.

"Are you alright?" Jesse asked me after I tossed the condom in the trash and collapsed next to him. "It got pretty wild at the end."

"I'm always wild around you," I wheezed. "You drive me wild."

He snickered. "Flattery will get you everywhere. But we are pretty good together, aren't we!"

"Perfect is more like it. I love you Jesse."

"I love you too, Shane."

We cuddled and kissed, homework forgotten. As usual, I wished he could spend the night with me, knowing we could make it happen if it weren't for curfews and parental rules. I didn't want him to go home because I hated sleeping by myself, but all too soon the point was reached where Jesse was going to get in trouble if he stayed any longer. We redressed and I walked him out to his Jeep. We made out for a few minutes of long, sensuous goodnight kisses that would have to suffice for now, and then I headed in for bed.





Call Out Your Name Ch. 05



I knew who Chad was. Jesse's favorite cousin, the one who knew he was gay and bought us the beer for our second-month anniversary. "Hello?" he asked, and I could hear the strain in his voice too. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and suddenly I could barely swallow.

"My name is Shane," I whispered, "Jesse's best friend. Is he there? He didn't show up for school this morning."

Something close to a sob caught in Chad's throat. "Shane... uh, there's been an... uh..."

More background interference, and an unfamiliar male voice called, "Chad, the cops want to ask you a few..." The rest of the sentence was cut off by the sudden chatter of a walky-talky radio, the kind the police wear.

Police at Jesse's house? All of a sudden suspicion punched me in the gut and filled me with dread. I think I yelled something like, "Tell me what happened to him," into my cell phone. Jesse! I was only peripherally aware of kids in my end of the quad coming to a standstill to stare at me.

I was running. Running and crying. I remembered to pick up my backpack from the lunch table and I was out the gate, tearing across the asphalt to my Chevy and then speeding through town to the Capps' house. Something awful had happened to my baby there and I wasn't going to wait around until after school to find out. I started to shake and I kept passing the back of my arm over my eyes to brush the tears away but it was useless and they just kept coming. I couldn't stop the hopeless panic filling my heart. 

Nobody noticed me immediately when I brought my car to a stop next to the neighbor's hydrangea bushes and killed the engine. In front of Jesse's house the street was bedlam. Crime scene tape all around the edge of the yard, four Santa Barbara County Sheriff's cars sitting at weird angles at the curb, one from the Highway Patrol, and people everywhere including more cops than I'd ever seen outside of a television program. A group of sobbing relatives huddled around Jesse's mother sitting stoically dry-eyed on a lawn chair on the porch.

Jesse's Jeep was parked on the dirt driveway with the driver's door gaping wide open, and I sprinted towards it. "Son," I heard someone say as I ducked under the yellow plastic tape. "You can't go through there."

I didn't acknowledge him. My focus was on the Cherokee surrounded by several police officers but their bulk couldn't obscure the swaths of black-red flung against the silver paint and the side windows. More of it was puddled on the ground next to the open door. Lots more. It pulled me like a magnet. Oh my god, Jesse.

"Son, stop," the man shouted.

I heard rapid movement behind me and then I was abruptly tackled to the ground by a burly officer in khaki green. I didn't really feel any pain on impact, just the rapid whoosh of air being knocked out of me and the agony of trying to suck more in. I was aware of flailing in the cop's arms, of painful pressure in my chest and being told to lie still. Crying hysterically as I called for Jesse.

In my dimming vision I stared at two pair of black boots approach me. The knot of people had rushed into the yard from the porch. One of the nearby deputies asked, "Ms Capps, do you know him?"

A male in his early twenties answered for her. "That's Shane Elliott, Jesse's boyfriend." I presumed this was his cousin Chad, and if I could have breathed, I would have giggled over how Jesse hadn't kept his secret very well. He was going to be so stunned to discover his family already knew he was gay and didn't seem to care. But then darkness swirled in to tug at me, and I passed out.





Call Out Your Name Ch. 05







Call Out Your Name Ch. 05



"What about college in three months?" she hedged. "You never did tell me what college you'll be playing for."

"I'm not going to a four-year college." I held my breath, waiting for the yelling to start. I hadn't wanted Mom to ever know of my change in plans, but at this point I was incapable of delaying the admission, even as a ruse to get me into her house.

"Why not, young man? You had better have kept up your grades..."

Oh my god, really? I'm having a mental crisis and she wanted to discuss grades. It was as if neither of my parents had a compassionate bone in their bodies. For fuck's sake, my boyfriend was dead. Was it all about outward show with them or did they even love me in the slightest?

I was weary of backpedaling so why not spill my guts and give up all my dirty little secrets. I talked about my loneliness and how tough moving in the middle of the year had been, not that I hadn't told her the same thing ten times already. I said my grades were excellent, straight A's in fact, and despite the confusion with forms and addresses, I had been scouted. I had simply chosen to give up my scholarship.

"And of course this was all about your boyfriend, I'll bet," Mom scoffed. "So now he's..."

"Mom," I interrupted, defeated. "I don't need your self-righteousness or another lecture. I've already heard them all. From coaches and scouts, my guidance counselor at school and Uncle Carl alike. All I want to know is whether I can move back home for awhile."

"No. No, you can't," she yelled. "I thought I raised an intelligent young man but I guess not. I raised an idiot. Now that you have no scholarship or any way to go to a university next year, you will have to make due. I'm certainly not paying for you. It's time you grew up even if it means learning from your mistakes the hard way."

With that she hung up on me. I stood there for the longest time staring through my bedroom window as the sun went down, not seeing anything.





Call Out Your Name Ch. 05



"I couldn't live without you, Jesse. I was too lonely, and I missed you."

I felt a warm hand touch my arm, and there he was, Jesse... but not Jesse. He was completely naked and the sight of him was familiar and comforting. His hair was just as black, his latte eyes lit up in that old familiar way, but he was different too. His features seemed more pronounced, his muscles more delineated, and his smile was huge on those upturned lips of pink. Even with the surprise in his voice, he seemed pleased to see me.

I put my hand on his shoulder to push him back just a bit so I could admire him. Actually, since I was incapable of falsehood, I am forced to admit that I was looking for the damage to his body that Mitchell had caused. But he was the picture of health. The stab wounds were gone and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I looked down at myself to find my own body naked, and I wondered if I was in heaven. If we both were. At least we were together.

Jesse looked into my eyes and smiled gently. "I put such a burden on you by leaving."

"It's not your fault," I whispered. "We're together now, and that's what is important."

Jesse started to tell me not to be angry, but there was no capacity for anger, and we read each other's minds.

I looked around again. I felt solid under my bare feet but it wasn't like a floor. There was a mist without damp; bright as the sun but not hot. A gray that blended into deep blue beyond infinity. Altogether weird.

"I would say I missed you, but it doesn't feel as if I can because you're already here," Jesse said. 

"I'm glad I am." I smiled. "Do you know your way around?"

Jesse nodded and took my hand. "Let me show you." His eyes were twinkling.

"First things first." I took him into my arms. "There's something I have to do right away." 

I kissed him very softly and stared into his eyes, relaxing into their beauty. Then he kissed me back.

"That feels nice," I whispered. "I've missed kissing you."

"And holding you," he added. "I love you, Shane."

"I love you too, Jesse. Forever."

"For eternity."

The End



Call Out Your Name Ch. 06



I received so much feedback from readers upset by the death of my main characters that I decided to write this alternate ending for those of you who wanted a live Happy Ever After for Jesse and Shane. I apologize to anyone who was shocked by my first ending, although I stand by it since tragedy is a part of our lives. This is for you and takes up where Chapter 4 ends so some of it was covered in the original Chapter 5. Enjoy.





Call Out Your Name Ch. 06



Now the woman was paying attention. "Let me see them," she ordered, and Jesse reluctantly withdrew the bag from his bag. She sorted through them, reading several, and her face turned pale. "Have a seat, boys." 

She picked up her telephone, pressed a button and quietly said, "Mr. Peabody, I'm sorry but I need to interrupt you. We have a situation you need to deal with immediately." 

Leaving us in the waiting area she disappeared through a door behind her. A few minutes later she emerged with the principal who also looked agitated. Several teachers stepped around him, eying us carefully before heading off in various directions. "Boys," the administrator said, sweeping up his arm to encompass us. "Please come into my office." 

Jesse was still acting like this was a waste of his time, so when we were finally seated in front of the principal I took the lead in explaining the letters. I told him everything: how Jesse had originally suspected me because of the timing of my starting week of school coinciding with the first note and how worried I was that this wasn't an innocent hoax. By the expression on Mr. Peabody's face, he didn't think so either, and presently we were joined by two County sheriff's deputies, Officer Erickson of the near-arrest fame being one of them. 

He smirked at us as he walked in, and I gulped loudly, hoping our case wouldn't be diminished due to our prior contact. I could hear Jesse's teeth chattering even though it wasn't cold in the office. But Erickson, like the other officer, became deadly serious when he learned of the situation and read the notes. Shortly later we were joined by a detective who announced he was in charge of the case. So it was a case now. Thank God. 

"This last message," Erickson said, looking up at Jesse and me. "The one referring to the 'faggot boy'; is he referring to you?" He stared at me expecting an answer even though he already knew it. 

Even though my stomach clenched in anxiety, I had to face up to it. "Yes sir, Jesse's my boy." 

They conferred. "Do you think both boys are in danger?" the detective questioned his cohorts calmly. 

Oh shit. The principal had already called Jesse's mother and she was on her way to school. The last thing I needed was for them to contact my dad too. "You can't get my father involved," I begged. "Focus on Jesse. They aren't after me." 

The other cop was staring at me and I think he understood the meaning behind my words. "Okay, Shane, but if you notice anything strange or you start getting notes, you must let us know immediately." I nodded in relief. 

Of course, when Jesse's mother arrived she was fully informed and allowed to examine the warnings in all their homophobic glory. She didn't make one negative remark about Jesse gay and didn't even act surprised. It was exactly as he claimed after the prom; it was like she already knew. 

"I found out you were gay when you were sixteen," she addressed Jesse, wiping a smudge of dirt off his face. "Maybe I should have told you then, but I wanted you to be ready to share it with me, not feel forced." 

"I thought you knew last month when Shane picked me up for prom and you insisted on taking our picture," he smiled. "I was getting ready to tell you. I was worried about Grampa finding out and getting mad." 

Sandra laughed. "He knows too. You can't hide that sort of stuff from him, Jesse. His body might not work the way it should but his mind is as sharp as a tack. And it's okay; as you can see he isn't angry either." 

His mother addressed me with a loving grin. "So you are Jesse's boyfriend. Even if I didn't know he was gay, I knew he had someone important in his life. The past four months are the happiest he's been since he was little. I see joy every day in his eyes so I know you two love each other." 

Both Jesse and I blushed in embarrassment at her enthusiastic affirmation, and I nodded, delighted over the way his family accepted him. In fact, I was a little jealous, but now was not the time to reflect on what my parents didn't give me that his did. I was enveloped in a big hug from her, and her eyes so much like Jesse's told me everything. She was happy for us. 

Ms Capps had explained that Jesse had talked to her in April about the notes but didn't seem overly upset by them. She was somewhat irritated that he'd hidden the extent of the threat from her, but everyone agreed how it being out in the open made Jesse a lot safer. Hopefully less of a target too, although nobody could guarantee it yet. Another definite benefit was how the cops' direct questions and demeanor finally impressed upon Jesse that maybe he shouldn't have been so nonchalant over them. Whatever. I was just happy that someone would be watching out for him in the future. Maybe now they'd catch the bastard.

Three hours later we were released with a series of instructions of what to do and not to do. A cop was going to the Capps' home to look into security, and a deputy would be swinging by on a regular basis to stake out the area in case someone was hanging around. Jesse was advised not to go anywhere without a companion, and I volunteered to take him back and forth to school. Mark Butler and his friends were going to be questioned, and of course, if he received another note he was to let someone know immediately. 

Officer Erickson said for us to go about our lives as normally as possible. If one of our classmates approached us about the notes, it was fine for us to acknowledge their existence and tell a detective. Maybe one of them had information that would prove useful. Above all, he told Jesse, don't take chances and pay attention to his surroundings. 

"I told you so," was all I said as I passed through the door. I knew that mocking him would hurt his feelings, and where was triumph in that? I followed my words with a quick kiss, knowing that the campus was empty of students and I was safe. Separating in the parking lot where a deputy waited to escort him home, I headed out in the opposite direction to eat dinner and study. We texted each other all evening. 

'I'm sorry for doubting you,' he sent me along with a smiley face. 

'It's okay', I messaged back. 'You're safe- that's what matters.' 

Our first two finals were the following morning, and we seniors only had half a day of school. We were strolling out to my car at noon when Mark Butler put himself in our path. 

"What the fuck, Capps," he demanded. "You sent the cops after me? You really are a..."

Jesse's normal self-normal self-confidence failed him right then and he backed up in fear. I immediately jumped in to defend him. "Jesse has been getting threatening notes in his locker and on his car. The cops asked if anyone was harassing him and your name came up. If you don't have anything to hide..."

Mark's mouth dropped open in shock. It was the way that he looked at the both of us, like this news was the last thing he expected. However, a second emotion quickly passed through his eyes that was inscrutable and I was immediately wary, particularly when his guard went back up in a way that reminded me of a hunted animal. 

"Come on," I told Jesse. "Let's go." I could feel Mark's eyes on our backs as we walked away. 

"What's that about?" he asked, half turning around. 

I grabbed his arm. "Don't look at him," I ordered. "Call the detective when you get home." 

We drove into Santa Barbara and got tacos for lunch before I went back with Jesse to his house. Now that he was out to his family we didn't have to hide our relationship, and I spent the afternoon watching a DVD with him in his living room. Half an hour after I arrived his grandfather shuffled out of his bedroom. 

"Hi, Grampa," Jesse greeted him in a level tone of voice, but I could see his mouth tighten as if he expected to be scolded. "How are you feeling today?" 

"Fine, Jesse-boy," he said. The tall man gazed at me without expression. "So this is your friend." 

"This is Shane," Jesse corrected. "He's my best friend and my..."

"Boyfriend," Mr. Capps smiled. "I don't mean to be rude, but whatever you are, be proud of it, Jesse." He stared at me again, and I saw a grin edging his mouth. "I don't bite." 

"Boyfriend," I confirmed, hopping up to shake his hand. He pumped mine warmly in both hands. 

We talked a little while longer as Jesse's grandfather asked me about classes and graduation. He was happy to hear I played football and would be going to the same college as Jesse. After about half an hour he looked tired and Jesse helped him back to bed. 

I ended up staying for dinner, but we had another day of finals the following morning so I left at seven. As I pulled away from the Capps home a police cruiser appeared and stopped at the house. The sheriff's office was doing its job keeping Jesse safe. 

Friday was all about our second set of finals and graduation practice in the afternoon. I worked for Uncle Carl over the weekend, and Jesse and I were only able to stay in touch by cell phone, too busy to see each other. Monday was a duplicate day of Friday. 

Jesse was never without me or a family member by his side except when he was in class where he wasn't exactly alone either. Still, after five days, there had been no break on the case, but then, Jesse hadn't received another note either. 

Dad was supposed to go to Jillian's after work on Monday night, and Jesse got permission to come over to my house after our rehearsal. I made him pasta for dinner and we talked about our graduation in three days. Classes were over for the both of us, and it was like a load off our shoulders. I couldn't wait for Thursday when we left high school forever and celebrated with a night at Disneyland. 

We were cleaning up dinner when I heard a car door slam outside. Looking through the living room window I saw my father and Jillian approach the front door. Shit! 

"What do I do?" Jesse asked, a an expression of dread gracing his face. 

There was no time for any deception on my part and I shrugged. Dad knew Jesse was my best friend if he remembered me mentioning his name, and I could only hope for the best. 

Dad appeared startled by Jesse's presence. I tried to play it cool. We were both fully dressed, and the Xbox and two of my video games were on the living room floor, indicating the innocuous way we'd spent our afternoon. There shouldn't have been any trouble unless Dad chose to be an asshole. 

Unfortunately...

He glared at the both of us. "Is this the boyfriend?" he demanded angrily. 

My eyes flew open wide, and Jesse backed up before his wrath. Jillian glanced at the three of us uncertainly. 

What. The. Hell. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, a drop of sweat trickling down my spine. 

"Don't lie to me," my father scoffed, taking a menacing step towards me. "I have friends in the sheriff's substation who informed me that some kid at your high school is being harassed because he's gay. Your name came up in the report, Shane. So I want the truth. Is this your boyfriend?" 

I took a big breath and let it out slowly. There didn't seem to be any way out of this, and my father wouldn't believe me even if Jesse wasn't my lover. I might as well get it out in the open. 

"Yeah, he is. This is Jesse." 

My father moved in my direction and I saw him raise his fist as if he was going to strike me. "Ken," Jillian screeched, lunging at him desperately and grabbing his hand. "Don't you dare hit Shane. Use our head and think about the repercussions." 

He struggled against her for a few minutes before giving up. "Repercussions?" he jeered. "Okay, try this, Shane. As of tomorrow you find a new place to live." 

Embarrassed at being scolded in front of Jesse and distressed over being kicked out... again... by a parent, I bristled and I could feel how close I was to losing my cool. "Oh, that's just great. I graduate in three days and you're kicking me out with no place to go. What the hell is wrong with you people?" 

Dad pulled against Jillian's restraining grip, and she flashed me a look that said I was pushing it to engage my father in an argument. She didn't agree with him but they had been together long enough for her to recognize the warning signs of a full-blown temper tantrum. 

"Wrong with us?" Dad glared at me as if I'd grown a second head. "What the hell is wrong with you? How many times have I told you not to fuck around like this in my house?" 

"Fuck around?" I asked, heedless of his anger, keeping my anger cloaked in a deadly calm tone. "All we're doing is eating dinner and playing video games." 

"Don't be stupid. You know perfectly well what I mean. Do you honestly think I don't know what goes on here when I'm not home? You and your cocksucking boyfriend..."

Jillian gasped, and Jesse's eyes went wide as he began to tremble. I took two steps sideways to place myself between them. If Dad got a notion to start hitting again I didn't want Jesse to bear the brunt of his anger. 

"Jesus, Dad," I shouted. "I'm bi. That's all. I'm not sick, I'm not perverted, and I didn't do anything to make myself this way. So what if I'm in love with Jesse. We aren't hurting anybody. Why do you have act so ignorant? You and Mom both." 

"Why you..." He tried to interrupt, but I refused to let him say anything. My breathing was coming out in harsh gasps, and I could feel my eyes begin to water. My voice was squeaking several octaves higher than I normally spoke, but I was on a roll. 

All the pain, loneliness and despair over being dumped in Calberia with nobody in my corner that I had been holding inside of me for way too long needed release. And then to be treated as if I should worship my father and deny myself the love that Jesse was willing to give me was absurd. I was already getting kicked out of the house, so I had nothing to lose. 

"Loving Jesse isn't a crime any more than being bisexual means I'm a monster, so why does everyone hate on us so much? I'm committed to him and he's the only one I've been with since I moved here." I grabbed his hand, and I saw my father's eyes bulge. "He loves me which is more than I can say about you and Mom. He is the kindest, most loving person I have ever met." 

"Well, you can take your boy-loving, faggoty ass out of here, do you understand?" Dad raged. "Grab whatever you need for tonight and leave the rest of your stuff. You can collect it later. Just get out." 

"Ken, don't," Jillian warned, but he wasn't listening. In tears I dragged Jesse back to my bedroom to pack up a few items I knew I'd need over the next couple of days. 

"Are you alright," he asked, hugging me tenderly while I cried on his shoulder. 

"Yeah," I sniffed. I wrapped my arms around him and let go for a few minutes, allowing my tears to rid myself of every fucking thing my father had said and done to me over the past half a year. 

Time was wasting. I raised my head to smile at Jesse tentatively and dried my eyes. He was worth every single drop of water, and we were going to be together. That was what mattered, and I didn't have to hide anymore. I could live my life in the daylight and be proud to be Jesse's boyfriend. Fuck my dad! 

Ten minutes later I was ready to go. I passed Dad and Jillian, and her arms were crossed over her chest angrily. My father was doing everything possible to ignore her resentment. I didn't even give him more than a glance as we rushed by, slamming the front door behind us. Part of me was even glad to leave. This house had never been a home. Not a real one. 

"Oh my god," Jesse breathed as soon as we rushed to my Chevy. "What are you going to do now?" 

"I have no fucking idea," I muttered, wiping my face. "I guess the first thing is to get you home." 

We drove across town with Jesse on his cell phone. I was in a daze and not paying much attention to him. We were turning on to his street when he spoke to me next. 

"Mom says you can sleep on the living room couch for tonight," he chirped. "Tomorrow we'll figure out something else." 

I sighed, grateful for at least a temporary bed. Tomorrow I'd go see my uncle and see if he had any ideas. 

It was fully dark when we pulled up to Jesse's house and black as pitch in his front yard. Jesse sprang from my car before it even came to a complete stop, and I heard movement from nearby. Thoroughly unnerved already because of my father's behavior, I turned off the ignition just as I became aware of a second person outside my vehicle. 

"Hi, Jesse," a garbled voice said from the passenger side. I screwed up my eyes to try to see the speaker but there wasn't enough light. 

"Mitchell," Jesse drawled in surprise. "What are you doing here?" 

As I reached for the door handle everything that Jesse had told me about this stranger coalesced in my mind. Mitchell Butler was Mark's older brother who had enjoyed tormenting my boyfriend last year before he graduated. What the hell was he doing in Jesse's front yard in the middle of the night? 

"Delivering a message in person since you're too stupid to take the ones I wrote seriously." 

The ones he wrote. The messages Mitchell wrote. With instant clarity I realized that Mitchell was the penman of Jesse's threatening letters. I spilled out of my car as fast as I could move, nearly tripping on the uneven dirt driveway in my haste to protect my boy. 

"Get away from him," I shouted wildly. "Leave Jesse alone." 

For some strange reason, Mitchell was not paying attention to the fact that my car had to have a driver. Like Jesse had been transported home by some kind of space-age auto-navigation device. At the sound of my voice he pivoted, stunned into suspension and giving us precious seconds. 

At the same time my cry had been heard and alerted the occupants of the house because the front door of the house crashed open. There stood Jesse's mother bathed in the light of the living room accompanied by a stocky young man a couple of years older than us. He pushed past her, slamming his body against the screen door on a dead run towards us. 

Jesse took a longer time to digest the meaning behind Mitchell's threat, but at last it dawned on him that his safety was at stake and he moved back a few paces from the older boy just in time. I was already on their side of the Chevy about four yards away when I saw the flash of a knife in Mitchell's hand. 

"Run Jesse," I yelled, and he bolted around me. 

It was just enough to distract Mitchell. Less than a second later, the sturdy person from the house tackled him, taking him to the ground easily. Caught off guard, he dropped the knife and I kicked it away before I leapt on him too. In rage, my fists gave way and I pummeled him thoroughly, all the pent up anxiety of five months of terror behind them. 

"Whoa, Superman," the other man cautioned with a grin, capturing my hands. "I think you got him."

I looked down and Mitchell was out cold. Already my adrenaline rush was dissipating; my knuckles had blood on them and were beginning to ache. Shit, I didn't care, not if this was the maniac who had been threatening Jesse all this time, not if the ordeal was finally over.

As we sat on Mitchell and kept watch to make sure he didn't threaten Jesse, Ms Capps' telephone call connected her with the 911 operator. We were told a sheriff's car would be dispatched right away. It was only a matter of minutes when a cruiser pulled up to investigate, and in the meantime I discovered the man who had valiantly thrown himself into protecting my boyfriend was his cousin, Chad. 

So that was how Jesse's stalker ended up getting arrested. Mitchell had some mental illness and drug use in his background, and he had been fixated on the younger boy all through high school. Upon graduation, he could no longer directly monitor what happened at school on a day-to-day basis, but he received enough information from his brother, Mark, who didn't take kindly to Jesse's vow to himself to stop letting people push him around. 




Call Out Your Name Ch. 06



No, Jesse couldn't stop the words that the Butler brothers used against him, but he could control how he reacted. His first mistake, if you will, was ignoring the bullying, and when Mark complained to Mitchell that Jesse didn't seem to care what he said, the older boy decided to make him care. 

But just as Jesse didn't pay attention to Mark's verbal threats, he didn't pay attention to the written ones either. By the time June rolled around, Mitchell was enraged enough to become dangerous. He decided that Jesse needed to learn a lesson. And that strange gleam in Mark's eyes in the school parking lot? He knew immediately who was behind the notes, but he wouldn't have said anything. Mitchell was family. 

Luckily, I was with Jesse the night that Mitchell was pushed over the edge, and the County sheriff's office took charge. He'd be going to the hospital to get stitched up, but then he was heading for jail, and considering the charges, the detective was nearly positive there would be no bail involved. It seemed that Jesse was safe. I declined a trip to the ER myself to have my hands looked at. They were battered and bruised, but I was okay. 

Ms Capps and the rest of the family gave me a hero's welcome, making over me like I was some kind of savior for alerting them and keeping Jesse safe. I was grateful and embarrassed, but deep down, I was exhausted. Noting that I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open, Sandra sent the family to bed while she fetched sheets for me to crash on the sofa. I was never so happy to close my eyes. 

But as I was falling asleep, or maybe it was in a dream, a chilling thought came to me that almost made me sick to my stomach. Inadvertently, my father might have saved Jesse's life. Our argument was timed perfectly for me to get Jesse home exactly when Mitchell was there and waiting but not quite ready for him, seeing as how I didn't think he had the knife out yet. Had I just been dropping Jesse off with my mind set on returning home, it was very likely I wouldn't have heard Mitchell talking to Jesse over the noise of the engine. Nor would I have left the car. So because I was spending the night at the Capps' home, Mitchell was behind bars and Jesse was safe. Out of danger. 

Early the next morning I came awake to find Jesse sitting on the floor next to my head. It was still nearly dark outside. "Hey, hero," he whispered, giving me a kiss on the cheek. 

I stretched. "Hi, Baby, is it time to get up?" 

"No. Mom just left for work, and Jenna is putting on her makeup so she can leave in twenty minutes." He wiggled his eyebrows. "How about you meet me in my room after she goes?" 

"Okay," I mumbled, stroking his jaw. "I'll be back there later." 

I guess I must have fallen back asleep because the next thing I felt was the sensation of chilled air wisping against my skin and then warmth again as the blanket settled. Hands on my boxers fished my semi-rigid cock through the fly just before a humid mouth descended on it and began to suck it into full hardness. Jesse's tongue wrapped itself around the head and licked the precum welling from the slit and his lips slid up and down my shaft. Deliriously, my hand found his blanketed head to hold him in place. Minutes later I was muffling my moans with the blanket as I shot ribbons of cum into Jesse's mouth. 

His head appeared from under the covers, licking his lips and his eyes blazing in the dawn light. "Breakfast is served," he announced, giggling. "That's the least you deserve for being my protector and keeping me alive." 

I scooted back as far into the upright cushion as I could to let Jesse lie beside me, and we made out, our hands roaming over each other, until it was nearly time to get up. Then I flipped myself to position my head at Jesse's groin and wrapped my lips around his thick flesh, sucking him down my throat and into oblivion. We kissed some more, and I relaxed into Jesse's arms and scent, thankful to be with him and that he was safe at last. 

Needless to say, there were two very happy and sated high schoolers showing up on the football field for graduation practice at eight o'clock. We had every reason to gloat over our change of circumstances in the past twenty-four hours. 

With Mitchell caught and my secret from my father blown wide open, there was no reason to pretend anymore, and when Jesse and I weren't running through the graduation program we were wrapped around each other or strolling the field holding hands. Sure, some ninety pairs of eyes were on us, but who the hell cared. We'd gone through enough shit in the past five months, and I no longer minded who was disturbed with my sexuality. Get used to it because Jesse and I were going to be together into eternity. 

I received a text message from Carl to stop by the marina after he was done for the day. I had driven Jesse that morning even though he no longer needed protecting, and we were back at his house making lunch. I was fairly sure I already knew what this was about. Jesse seemed to know too and said he would accompany me. 

The crew was still cleaning up from the day's fishing charter, and I joined in washing down the deck of the Sorsha Lynn. Jesse pitched in putting away some of the fishing gear we kept on board, and I could see the crew liked him. Presently, all was ship-shape, and I went below to talk to Carl. 

"Hey, Shane," my uncle greeted me, and upon spying Jesse he waved at him too. "Come on down, you two." 

He pointed out an ice chest and told us to help ourselves, and Jesse brought out two cold Dr. Peppers. I sat down at the dinette table and waited. Carl had an amused grin on his face.

"I got a telephone call from your mother early this morning," he informed me with a sharp look.

"Oh yeah," I asked, wary. This was unexpected, and I could just imagine the news that had shot through the parental grapevine. 

"She wants me to fire you." 

My jaw dropped and my eyes goggled. Jesse looked about the same and squeezed my hand hard, worried. 

"It seems as if you had an altercation with your father last night," he hinted, now chuckling. "According to Lisa, you were, and I quote, 'flaunting your relationship with your boyfriend in front of your dad'." 

Jesse's face turned to stone and he sputtered angrily in my defense. "That's not what happened at all. We were eating dinner and playing on the Xbox. Shane's dad showed up and started challenging him, and when Shane told the truth he kicked him out of the house." 

Carl nodded. "I figured it was something like that. So, what's going on?" 

"I'm homeless," I shrugged. "Dad let me take a few changes of clothes last night but told me I have to empty out my room. I can't go back to Mom's, especially after what she told you. So I have no idea where I'm going." 

I sobered instantly, just realizing what I said. It was true. I was homeless, and even with picking up more hours from Carl over the summer, I didn't have enough money to support myself. 

"So how would you like to move in with me and Elaine?" he asked, studying me carefully. "We have a fourth bedroom downstairs that we aren't using, and you would have your own bathroom. We'd charge you a small amount for rent, food and utilities, but it would be a place of your own. You can work the summer, go to college in the fall and we'll decide then what to do next." 

"You aren't firing me?" My voice cracked with emotion even though I shouldn't have been surprised. 

He laughed. "Of course not. Like I told you, I don't care what your parents think. Not only are you family, but you're a good employee. It doesn't matter to me who you're with as long as it doesn't affect your work." He glanced at Jesse and smiled. 

Carl didn't have to ask me twice. I threw myself in his arms. "Oh, thank you, Uncle Carl. You have no idea what this means to me." Then Jesse and I grabbed hold of each other and jumped up and down as Carl laughed. 

The following day after graduation practice we went to my dad's and stripped my room of all my belongings. Elaine was waiting when we arrived at their house, and I dumped boxes in my new bedroom to be unpacked later. Declining dinner but giving her hugs and kisses of thanks, Jesse and I went out to celebrate. 

The next night was graduation, and Jesse and my new high school friends yelled and cheered as I crossed the stage erected in the football stadium to get my diploma. Neither of my parents showed up and the applause I heard in the stands came from my aunt and uncle and Jesse's family. Frankly I didn't care. With each cruel, thoughtless rejection by my mother and father, I turned my back on my need for their approval just as surely as they turned their backs on me. 

Jesse and I were at Disneyland way later having just finished the Star Tours ride when I happened to spy a familiar face. Or three faces in a group of four. Standing almost directly behind us was my Sacred Heart best bud, Gordie, another former friend, Randy Dawson, his current/my ex-girlfriend, Danae, and another girl I didn't know who was apparently Gordie's girlfriend. Gordie's eyes opened wide when he saw me, and a huge smile broke out on his face. 

"Shane, dude," he yelled excitedly. The others stared up at me in shock, unsure of what I would do. All of us from my old high school knew that Randy had poached Danae from me as soon as my back was turned. They looked like they wanted to melt into the sidewalk, but Gordie joyously threw his arms around me in a giant hug. I could tell he was genuinely happy to see me. 

The rest ambled over to where we stood, and there was a minute of strained, silent embarrassment, like when you meet up with people you haven't seen in months and don't know what to say. Jesse turned to me with an anxious frown, and I squeezed his arm soothingly as I quietly explained I had attended school with them when I lived down south. 

Introductions were quickly made. "This is my boyfriend, Jesse," I said proudly, putting my arm around his waist. 

Danae's face turned fuchsia and Randy grimaced. Gordie's girlfriend whom I suddenly remembered was named Megan tried to smile but couldn't quite manage it. Gordie was the only one who didn't seem to mind. He slapped and bumped Jesse's hand, and his smile never went flat. Yeah, I guess he's still a good friend even if we don't live in the same city anymore. 

"So dude," Gordie exclaimed, nearly falling all over himself with excitement, "What are your plans? You coming back to Rancho Martinez for the summer?" 

"No way!" My face scrunched up in disgust. "I wouldn't live with my mother if you paid me. She has turned into such a bitch. I'm working for her brother on his boats, and she tried to get me fired because I'm gay." 

"Fuck that," Gordie sympathized while the other kids looked at their feet. I also felt Jesse startle, as if he understood what I was implying. "So where are you going to school next fall?" 

I smiled at Jesse, and the look of adoration he gave back made my heart soar. "Hope Ranch Community up near Calberia. Jesse and I are going to school together." 

"I thought you had a football scholarship for back east." Randy spoke up for the first time and his tone was mocking. Suddenly I wanted to get away from these creeps. I could care less what they thought of me. 

"I did," I acknowledged. "I gave it up. I'll probably get scouted in two years, and then Jesse and I will move to wherever I end up playing." I squeezed Jesse a little harder. "No way am I going to leave my boy."

I could see by the sour faces on all but Gordie that they thought I had made a big mistake, but that was their opinion, not mine. I was just being polite, and these people who were no longer in my life didn't make any difference. Jesse was the best thing that ever happened to me. We had been through a lot and he was my future now. 

We conversed a few minutes longer, and Gordie told me to keep in touch, much to his girlfriend's dismay. They sauntered off with disgusted looks back, and I kissed Jesse on the cheek. 

He nudged me in the ribs. "Gay, huh? I thought you were bi." 

I put my hands on his shoulders. "Whatever you need me to be," I replied, and then I began to sing. Not great mind you because I can't carry a tune, but he got my meaning. "And if you want another kind of love I'll wear a mask for you" 

"You've come a long way, Blondie," he exclaimed enthusiastically, squeezing my hand. 

"Um, maybe," I retorted. I stared into his eyes. "I love you, Jesse. I hope you know how much." 

He giggled. "Enough to get kicked out of your dad's house, wrestle crazed stalkers to the ground and stand up to your old friends? Yeah, I know how much. And I love you too." 

With another kiss, we wandered off, hands clasped together. Surely, somewhere there was another thrilling Disney ride I hadn't taken Jesse on where he would have to cling to me. Maybe I'd buy him a pair of Mickey Mouse ears. Oh, and there was that quiet little restaurant that overlooked Pirates of the Caribbean where we could probably make out if we got a table in the back. 

I contentedly considered my future. Who needed parents when I had Jesse's family and their blessing? He was my family. Work over the summer, college in the fall, but my life finally felt complete and I couldn't wait. I had my lover by my side and we made each other happy. I knew I'd found my forever and Jesse was it. That's what love is all about. 

The End