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Alex and I Ch. 01

By: dagan732



I walked up to the trailer on the construction site eager to make a good impression on my first day. Moving to Florida from New York and leaving my family and friends behind hadn't been easy. Finding work there proved even more problematic but I luckily and literally stumbled into a man about to post an ad looking for help and begged for the job before he put the ad in. I was given a two week trial basis and a vague "we'll see how you work out" as warning. I had worked with my dad doing heating ventilating and air conditioning in New York so I knew that I could do it and it would bring in money but I had recently become an E.M.T. back home and would have preferred to do that. 

Changing my license over wasn't as easy and being able to support myself on a basic E.M.T. salary was almost laughable. So here I was. Knocking on the trailer door and receiving a gruff command to enter. I opened the door.

"Who are you?" Came the curt 

interrogative. The interrogator was an older man sitting behind a large desk barely looking up from the architectural drawings in front of him.

"My name's Josh. David told me to come in and that you would give me a job."

"You're the kid that my brother wants to try out?"

"I guess so."

"You have experience?"

"I worked for my dad doing H.V.A.C. I know how to hold a hammer."

"All right, fine. You have two weeks to show us we need you, otherwise you're out. And if you're late, even once, don't bother coming in the next day."

"Got it. And you are?" I asked.

"Pete. I own half this business with my brother."

"Right. Thanks Pete."

"Just get out and go do something."

"Right. Um... what do you want me to do?"

"Jeezus!" The older man swore and finally looked up from what he was doing and gave me a once over. "At least you look like you can handle the work." He said.

It was true. I stood 6'1'', and was pretty beefy from all the work I'd done in New York. I could stand to lose a pound or two but wasn't that overweight. I had dark brown hair which was already showing highlights from the week and a half that I'd been there. What hair I didn't have on my head was darker black and covered most of my body. My beard was trimmed up neat to make a good impression. "Go outside and talk to Tiny. He'll tell you what to do."

"Tiny. Right. Got it." 

I left to find who I assumed was the foreman named Tiny. I was steered toward one of the tiniest men I had ever seen. He wasn't quite a little person but he was by no means tall. Tiny took me quickly around the site and put me to work moving cement bags, loads of brick, basically any job he didn't want his better paid construction workers doing. I was happy to do it even under the brutal Floridian sun. I knew I was going to be burned to hell that day and was glad that I had put sunblock on. 

Before I knew it, lunch time hit and everyone stopped and pulled out their box lunches. Not being anti-social but I chose to sit away from everyone else since they were sitting directly in the hot sun and I needed some shade to cool off. It did afford me the ability to check out the guys without being too obvious. Most of them were cute, good looking guys with deep bronze tans and rippling muscles. There were a few older guys but most of them seemed to be about my own age. No one tripped my heart strings and after my recent break up I wasn't really looking to get back into one so I closed my eyes and rested while they finished their lunch. 

The rest of the day went quickly and when I headed out to my car, Tiny shouted for me to come back. I trotted over to see what he wanted, fearful that he was going to tell me not to come in tomorrow.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Good job today, kid."

"Thanks, Tiny!" I was pleased that he had liked my work and thankful that I still had a job.

"Yeah, don't fuck it up! Get here early tomorrow and keep it up."

"I will." I said, not taking any offense to his crassness. Construction men generally barked and yelled as if it were the only way to get things done. "Thanks Tiny."

"Yeah, get the fuck out of here."

I got in my car and burned my back as I forgot to leave a cracked window or block the streaming sunshine heating the vinyl seats to near fusion temperatures. Not letting that bring me down, I drove to my friend Maryellen's house. She was my best friend from New York and had moved down to Florida about a year before and had been nagging me to move down ever since. After my break up I figured I had no more excuses and welcomed the change. 

Maryellen's house was chaotic to say the least. It was a nice double wide trailer with a small room in the back off the car port. Still she lived with four other adults, five kids, four dogs, three ferrets and something called a sugar glider. I pulled up in front of her house and opened the gate to a cacophony of dogs barking and kids screaming. Ignoring that, I opened the door and called out her name.

"Hey." She said coming around the corner. Maryellen was my hag and had been my best friend since she sat down at my table and announced that she was my new best friend. I had laughed at the notion but here we were ten years later. "How was work?" She asked, grabbing two iced coffees from the kitchen. They were her favorite drink and always on hand.

"It was good. Hard work, sucks being in the sun, and some of the guys seem funny." I pushed one of the dogs out of the way and flopped down on the couch.

"But it's a paycheck." As she flopped down next to me.

"Yeah. If I can save up some money pretty quick I'll be able to move out of Aunt Dee and Uncle Gerard's house and get a place of my own."

Aunt Dee and Uncle Gerard were Maryellen's great aunt and uncle who lived a few blocks away and were up visiting their children and grandchildren in New York. They had agreed to let me stay in their guest room till I found a job and was able to support myself. I thanked them from the bottom of my soul since trying to squeeze in here would have been an unholy mess. Besides, Aunt Dee and Uncle Gerard had a pool!

"So were there any hotties?" Maryellen asked.

"I'm not there looking for hotties. I'm there to work."

"What's that shit?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're not dead. You can still tell if someone's hot or not."

"I'm not really interested in that. I just want to do my work and get paid." She didn't answer, but sat staring at me. "All right, no there are no hotties."

"That sucks, Man!" 

"I really couldn't care less."

"At least if there's a hottie there's something nice to look at while you work." Maryellen stated with her particular brand of worldly wisdom.

"I guess." I sighed and took a sip of iced coffee. "Coconut and cinnamon?" I asked.

"Nutmeg. I ran out of cinnamon."

"It's nice."

"Thank you. Look Josh," I sighed again waiting for the speech. She hadn't given it to me since I got down here but I figured it was time. "Victor left you and did you a big ass favor. He wasn't right for you that's why you guys could never make it. I mean, you were on again off again for what?"

"Five years."

"Five years! That's time you're not getting back. It's admirable that you tried so hard. You'll know how to fight for a relationship when it means something but you were just beating a dead horse there."

"I know."

"So it's time to get out there and start dating. Find someone better suited for you."

"I'm just not ready yet. We only broke up two months ago."

"In gay years that's like four years. You should be living with some guy and raising an asian kid."

"This isn't t.v. You can't simplify my life to read like an episode of Will and Grace. Happy endings are only a sure thing in massage parlors."

"Yeah, well go to a couple of those!"

"Oh that's tacky! I'm not paying for sex."

"Oh suddenly you're so high and mighty?!"

"That was one time and I didn't know he was a prostitute till he was already in my house. How was I supposed to get him to leave?"

"Well, do something. You're starting to get all depressed and shit."

"I just moved a thousand miles from the only home I've ever known and had to deal with a break up, and finding a new job which really isn't the one I want. I'm sorry I'm not Mr. Sunshine."

"It could be worse."

"How?"

"You could be one of those people standing by the road dressed like the Statue of Liberty and dancing for the traffic."

"There is that." I agreed.

The next few days passed in relative peace and hard work. I got up, went to the job site, did my eight hours and went home. Sometimes I went to Maryellen's for dinner, sometimes I cooked at home and took a dip in the pool. And on Friday when my paycheck came I felt relieved that at least I was on my way to being independent again. I was tempted to go out and have a nice weekend, even got some invites from the guys to go to a couple of strip clubs, but I turned them down and squirreled away the money. 

Monday came shortly enough and I was back at the job site bright and early moving a load of brick from the lower foundation to one of the upper floors. I had just filled the cart and was heading up to the lift when I heard a shout. 

I turned to look and my breath caught in my lungs. The most beautiful man I'd ever seen was walking onto the job site being greeted by the crew. I vaguely heard someone yell something about him finally getting his lazy ass back from vacation, but from what I could see lazy wasn't a descriptive adjective that I'd use for it. Hot, beautiful, mouth-watering, bubble, sensuous, tantalizing, God cried at such perfection, and they should have sent a poet would be a few of the descriptive words and phrases to describe it.  

His shoulders were wide and looked as if they could carry the weight of the world upon them. His strong back was muscled underneath the tight shirt he was wearing and just beginning to run with sweat in the morning heat. His legs looked to be long, thick pillars wrapped in faded jean which both lead one's gaze back to that perfect ass. Then I realized that I was enthralled and my Adonis hadn't even turned around. 

But what was lucky was I had been paying so much attention to the God of the Job Site that I had lost my grip on the cart and it careened into a ditch and spilled my load. Of bricks. Spilled THE load of bricks. Geez, you people. 

God-of-the-job-site heard the noise and turned around. His arms were thick, long and covered in black hair. His chest was one of those beautiful sculpted male chests that photographers take pictures of with a baby sleeping against it. His belly was flat and though covered by the t-shirt I imagined that it was ripped with abdominal muscles of steel. I could feel their texture on my face and even imagined that there were covered with the softest down of hair leading to his naval. Then there was the bulge. I'm pretty sure I blushed at this point. I felt faint and kept thinking 'Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.' Just then Pete came out of the trailer. 

"Jeezus, Tiny!! The new kid's sun sick and it isn't even 11 yet! Get him some water and make him sit down for an hour!!"

"Sure Pete!" Called Tiny, though I could hear that he was pissed about it. He ran over and threw a bottle of water at me.

"No, Tiny. It was just a mistake. I can pick this up."

"No you won't. You'll sit down over there and drink the fucking water and not let yourself get dehydrated again."

"Tiny, I'm not dehydrated."

"No? Then why did you drop all the brick?" I couldn't think of an answer that would incriminate the shit out of me.

"I didn't drink enough water." Was the only thing I had.

"Damn, you are sun sick. Maybe we should send you home."

"No!! I'll just sit over there and drink the water. I'll be good as new in no time." I walked away before he could argue and sat in some shade on the other side of the job out of sight of the rest of the men. I drank the water, got a hold of myself and within a half hour felt like I could return to work and not screw anything else up. I made my way back to where I had been loading the brick and took up work again. I didn't see the demi god I had made such an ass of myself over and took that as a good sign. Hopefully he didn't work here and I wouldn't have to be distracted by him. I could keep my job and everything would be fine. Tiny found me a bit later about to take the cart upstairs.

"Don't worry about that kid. They've got enough brick up there for now. I need you to follow Alex around and help him out. He'll need you to go get stuff. He's my best contractor so whatever he needs, you do alright?"

"Sure, Tiny. Where is he?"

"Upstairs. Just ask around for Alex."

I went upstairs with a warning squirmy feeling in my gut. Perhaps the reason I hadn't seen the demi god was because he was upstairs already working. I had only been there a short time but I knew that none of the other men were named Alex. The feeling grew as I reached the top of the stairs and shouted to one of the guys asking where Alex was. They pointed and I walked in the direction they had pointed to. And sure as shit, there was the demi god. I walked up to him.

"Alex?" He turned around. His face was perfect. I could see now that he was latino, probably Mexican with olive skin, black hair, and eyes so dark you couldn't tell if they were brown or black. He smiled and I saw his perfect teeth. He wasn't a demi god. He was a devil sent to tempt me and I feared I was going to lose.

"Hey. You're Josh?"

"Yeah. Tiny sent me up to get you whatever you needed."

"Yeah, well I'm good for right now but you can go over and clean up all that shit in the corner. I'll be working there right after I'm done here."

"Sure."

The rest of the day dragged on as a constant struggle, and I do mean struggle, not to stare too long at Alex. I just focused on the tasks at hand and after a while was almost able to forget his presence entirely. When I had finished clearing the space he wanted me to, I turned and saw him stretching up to drill in a metal support and watched his t-shirt ride up baring his stomach. It wasn't as muscled as I had thought, but that slight imperfection only seemed to make him seem approachable in some way. It was as hairy as I thought and his treasure trail lead down into the top of his boxers or briefs which could be seen above his jeans. My mouth dried up and I felt light headed again. Alex finished drilling and stretching and all his parts were once again covered by his clothes. He noticed me standing there and gave me a questioning look.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing."

"You need more water?"

"No. I finished the corner."

"Oh cool."

Just then someone called four o'clock and we cleaned up our tools and headed out. As fast as I could I bolted to my car but as I passed the trailer, the door slammed open and Pete stuck his head out.

"New kid, come here!!" I trotted over to see what the boss wanted.

"Yeah, Pete?"

"You better drink your water tonight! I don't want this shit happening again."

"I'm fine, Pete. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"It'd better not. So drink your water so it won't. Get me?" He was giving me a look that told me he wasn't talking about water but I wasn't really sure what the hell he was talking about.

"Um... yeah Pete. Ok." I turned and headed to my car and prayed for the embarrassing day to be over. Of course it wasn't.

"So wait, then you dumped all the bricks and were just staring at him?!" Maryellen laughed and almost spit out her soda. I had invited her over for dinner and to let the kids swim in the pool. Of course I had also made the horrendous mistake of telling her what had happened earlier that day. 

"Yeah pretty much."

"And then you had to work with him all day?"

"Yup."

"And he caught you staring again?"

"I've told you this. Yes, he caught me staring again."

"What did he say?"

"I've told you that too."

"Come on."

"He asked me if I needed more water."

She laughed so hard, tears streamed out of her tightly clasped eyes. 

"You'd understand if you saw him."

"Yeah. But I don't think I'd just sit there and stare."

"Maybe, maybe not. But it's what I did. It's all part of my plan to make him fall in love with me. First, I embarrass the hell out of myself a couple of times, then I just reel him in."

"Yeah, let me know how that works out for you."

"Jesus, Maryellen make up your fucking mind. First you're telling me to go out and get a date, now you're telling me not to. What the hell?"

"Josh, I love you. You know this."

"Yeah?"

"You do this, though. You don't want to take risks so you pick the unachievable and then you say 'see I told you so' when it doesn't work out."

"Wow. I think if I had any ego left at the moment I would tell you to get the fuck out."

"We're friends. I'm only telling you the truth." She said, and what made it worse was she was being sincere.

"So you think he's unattainable for me?"

"No, I think you think he's unattainable which is why you're talking about him like some god or something. And then there's the fact that he's probably straight anyway. I've known you for too long. This is what you do."

I turned away from her and watched the kids in the pool. If an outside observer had seen them they wouldn't know if they were trying to kill each other or just swim. With Maryellen's kids it was a little bit of both. I thought over her words and realized that she was probably right. I did like to set goals which were probably unattainable and feel vindicated when they didn't pan out. It was sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy which left me alone and miserable. But at least I didn't have to deal with change.

"All right." I said after a while. "I guess you're right. So what should I do?"

"Find out if he's gay. If he is, go for it. If he's not, forget him."

"Sounds like good advice."

"Would I ever steer you wrong?" I shot her a look. "Purposefully?"

"No. All right. I'll see if I can find out tomorrow."

"Good. We'd better get going." She shouted for the kids to get out of the pool. "Oh, I need to borrow your car tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Cause mine died and I have to pick up Mondo from the airport."

Mondo was our third best friend who had moved to North Carolina when Maryellen moved down to Florida. He was coming for a visit and hopefully to look for a job in the area. 

"How am I getting home from work?" 

"I can have Aunt Aubrey pick you up?"

"No, that's all right. I'll try to get a ride from someone at work. I think Digger lives not too far away."

"All right. Well, I'll see you tomorrow. I'll give you a call when I get back from the airport."

Maryellen left leaving me to my thoughts, and the dishes. She was good like that.

Alex and I Ch. 02



The next day I left for work early and had to walk since Maryellen took the car the night before. I worked with Alex the entire day and had no more embarrassing moments, though I did get some good staring time in. Most of the morning passed with only a little conversation but when lunch rolled around, we sat together and started talking. 

I found out that he had come from Mexico with his mother who was Mexican-American after his father died when he was a kid. They had lived her most of his life but after he graduated high school and got a job his mother had decided to move back to her native country and most of his brothers and sisters had gone with her. I spoke of New York, leaving out most of my love life out speaking only in vague generalities. It was just before lunch ended that I was able to gain the courage to ask if he were married. He said he wasn't and I tried to bite back the nervousness that sprang from the simple answer.

"I got a girl friend though but I'm not really ready to marry I guess. I'm old school and want it to be right, you know?"

My hopes were dashed instantly as if a cold shower washed over me or a blazing sword stood in front of me barring the way. I did feel comforted though. The anxiety left since I knew that he was legitimately unavailable. He was straight and wouldn't welcome my advances so there was no point in trying. We could get back to work. At least I still had my dreams.

At the end of the day I asked Digger if I could catch a ride with him but he had somewhere to go and was already running late. I asked a few other guys but they were all going the opposite direction. I was just preparing myself for a long walk home when Alec asked if I needed a ride.

"Yeah, are you heading anywhere near Holiday?" I asked.

"Not really, but I don't have anywhere to be right now and I'd hate to see you walk."

I climbed into his truck and inhaled vinyl, a spicy cologne and the scent of him after a hard day at work. It was a heady combination. We chatted on the way home and since I had no more delusions of being with him I found it easy to be in his company. He was a funny guy and we got a long well. He was a carpenter by trade but hated construction. He really wanted to make furniture.

"Real high end stuff, you know? Like the stuff you see in those repro catalogs. I can do all that shit. I made my mother a dresser and made it look just like one she saw in a museum. She loves it."

"So why don't you do that, rather than work in construction?"

"I don't have the start up money. Besides, I'm not really sure I could make it and if I don't then I'll be stuck with no money."

"I bet you'd make it. You've got that personality."

"What personality?"

"The kind that won't quit. Plus you seem honest and honest people usually have a pretty good idea of what they're capable of. You know, no big ideas that they can't pull off."

"Yeah, I guess so." He said, as we pulled up in front of the house I was staying at. "Nice place."

"Yeah, it's my friends Aunt and Uncle's. They're letting me stay here while I get my shit together and can get a place. And it's got a pool so I'm happy as a pig in shit."

Did I really just call myself 'a pig in shit' to this man? I really have no game.

"A pool? Really?" He sounded excited. "Hey, you think I could come in for a dip? I'm fucking roasting here." I didn't think it was a good idea. I had no more delusions that we would be together but still didn't want to torture myself. He must have seen my hesitance and added. "My balls are roasting in the seat, Man. Help a brother out!" 

"Yeah, come on in." I couldn't live with myself if his balls reached an unhealthy temperature. What if he weren't able to father children because of poor sperm motility and I could have prevented that. The world would be filled with more ugly children and that was something that I couldn't have on my conscience. 

I grabbed some beers from the fridge and we went out to the back patio.

"I'm not sure I have some shorts for you but I might have something." I said, cracking a beer.

"Don't worry about it." He said and cracked his own beer and took a swallow. "I'll just got in my boxers."

I was light headed again and must have had the stupid look on my face.

"Wow, you yankees really are sensitive to the heat. You look like you need more water."

"No, I'm fine." I said, trying to bring my heart back under control and willing it to pump blood more effectively to my head than ... other regions.

I was almost successful when Alex pulled his shirt up over his head. When he began unbuttoning his jeans I swear I almost started crying. There was Alex standing before me, sweating from work, smelling the way a man needs to smell when he gets off work, wearing only his boxers, a smile and little beer that dribbled down his goatee, his throat, his chest... 

I shucked my clothes in record time, thankful for my baggy boxers and jumped into the deep end of the pool. The cold water abused my system which was long over heated from the work day and the sight of a half naked man standing in front of me. I surfaced and wiped the water from my face and saw Alex dipping his toe into the water. 

"Oh my God, that's cold." He said looking at me with new found respect. "How the hell did you just jump in there like that?"

"This is nothing to a New Yorker. This is like bath water." Which was true, unless the New Yorker had already acclimated to Florida's hot weather and then 70 degree water was like a polar ice cap. I was grateful for the cold water which helped me temper my lust for the moment.

Alex slowly entered the pool, paused at the sensitive area just below his waist, and finally took the plunge. He came out sputtering and laughing.

"Damn! It's cold but it feels good."

"Beats sitting out in the hot sun all day."

"Hell ya. This is great. Thanks, man. I know you didn't want to let me swim cause it's not your pool. I get that." I figured I'd roll with that.

"They've been so nice to me, letting me stay here. It's nothing against you, I just didn't want to disrespect them. I'm sure they'd be fine with it."

"Well, thanks anyway. My place is small and I don't have room for a pool. I have to go to the beach which is like twenty minutes away. You been to the ocean yet?"

"Yeah, there's place I like to go. It's nice. Private. I can take a walk, or swim, or just sit there."

We spoke for a while, floating in the cool water, taking sips from our beers. It was very nice, and though I tried real hard I couldn't stop myself from imagining this was a date and he was interested in me. I finally gave up and indulged myself, thinking that at least it would boost my ego a bit till I had to come back to reality. Speaking of reality, it was getting on toward six o'clock and lunch was a long time ago. 

"Hey, you hungry?" I asked.

"Starving."

"You don't have to get home or anything?"

"No, the girlfriend working late tonight."

"Cool." I said, as I walked out of the pool and let myself drip dry. "How's pasta sound?"

"Sounds good." He said and kept swimming.

I threw on a towel to catch most of the water before it dripped all over the kitchen floor and threw on some pasta to cook and cut up some vegetables and garlic for an alioli. Half an hour later I was pouring the oil over the pasta, mixing it with the vegetables and pouring a good amount of grated cheese before serving it. Alex had stepped out of the pool and for a moment I saw his manhood clearly outlined in his wet and clinging boxers. I closed my eyes and prayed for strength. When I opened my eyes he had thrown a towel about his waist allowing me to breathe freely. We sat and ate, drinking beer and feeling light as the alcohol started hitting us.

"This is really good, Josh. Were you a chef in New York?"

"No, this is just good Italian living."

"You're Italian? You don't look it."

"I know. I'm Italian, Czech, Irish, German, and Sioux Indian. It's a big mess."

"Sounds it. Well, this is awesome. You should open a restaurant."

I was about to answer when Maryellen walked from the side of the house to the back patio. 

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Nothing." I answered, trying hard to keep the displeasure of my friends interruption out of my voice. "What are you doing here? I thought you were picking up Mondo?"

"His flight was delayed. I'm just about to leave now but I thought I'd come and see if you wanted to go." Maryellen looked pointedly at Alex.

"Alex, this is my best friend Maryellen."

"I'm his hag." She said, and my heart dropped into my stomach. Alex didn't seem to notice, thank God and smiled and shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you." He said.

"Well, I guess you're busy so..."

"Yeah, I'm busy so..." I answered. She leered at me, said goodbye to Alex and left.

"Sorry about that." I said.

"No problem. Um... Josh?" Alex started and couldn't quite look me in the eye. "She said she was your hag." Oh fuck, I thought.

"Um... yeah."

"As in 'fag hag'?"

"Um.... yeah."

"You're gay." He said, more matter of factly, than asking a question.

"Um.... yeah." Alex nodded for a while.

"Cool."

"You don't mind?" I asked.

"Well, why didn't you tell me?"

"It's hard to tell someone that you barely know. You don't know what that person is going to be to you; a friend, a co-worker, are they going to marry your sister? You just don't know. I mean, we just met two days ago and you just gave me a ride home today. Where was I supposed to throw that in?"

"Maybe when you were talking about yourself? You could have been like, I lived in New York, trying to make a go of it down here in Florida, and by the way, I'm gay. You could have said something like that."

"I could have. But a construction job site is not exactly the place to come out to people. It's more a don't ask, don't tell place. No one cares what you do in the privacy of your own home unless they know about it. You know what I mean?"

"I guess. You still could have told me."

"Well, I know that now. And I have to say it's pretty cool that you're ok with it."

"Yeah, whatever." He said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Whatever." I said and shrugged my shoulders in a like manner. "So what does this make us friends?"

"I guess."

"Cool."

"Yeah." He said. "So that's why you can cook?"

"Fuck you, man. Not all fags can cook." I laughed and he smiled.

"At least ninety percent of them, though. Right?"

"Asshole. That's like saying all Mexican's drink too much."

"Well, that's true. Or at least ninety percent of them do." He laughed. 

We spent the night laughing, drinking, and insulting each other. Around ten o'clock he stood and said that he had better get home. 

"Are you sure you should? You've had a couple beers." I asked.

"I'm all right. I switched to soda a couple of hours ago. I'll be ok."

"All right, man. Well, I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"Yeah, you need a ride?" He asked as he threw his jeans on over his still damp boxers.

"That'd be cool, if you can. Maryellen's got my car while her's is in the shop."

"Yeah, no problem. I'll be here around eight." Alex waved good bye, and walked out carrying his boots in his hand.

It was a nice night all things considered. I did the dishes, took a shower and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. 

Eight thirty rolled around and I was running outside pulling my boot on and hurrying to meet Alex who had shown up five minutes ago. I jumped into his truck, threw him the slice of toast I made for him which he caught and bit into and finished my own slice. 

"What happened to eight o'clock?" I asked a little anxious seeing as how we were going to be late. 

"The girlfriend came home early last night and was bitching a blue streak."

"What? What for?"

"What do you think? Coming home late. I told her I was drinking with you and she didn't believe me. She thought I was out with a girl."

"Well, that sucks. Sorry about that."

"Not your fault. She's a crazy bitch. Why are you late? You should have been ready a half hour ago."

"I forgot to set the alarm before I fell asleep. I'm kind of a light weight and the beers had me light headed."

"I think you might have a condition,dude. You get light headed a lot." 

I gritted my teeth at the irony of the cause asking after my sickness, and just let it go. 

"We'll be on time, right?" I asked.

"A few minutes late. Maybe fifteen." 

"Fifteen?" I yelled. "I can't be fifteen minutes late. They'll fire me."

"They won't fire you. I promise. I'll tell them you were bright and early waiting for me and I was late." Alex offered.

"No, you don't have to do that. I'm just a little worried."

"Dude, calm down. You're with me." He looked over and flashed me his million dollar smile. My heart skipped a beat and my lips answered with a smile of their own accord. Damn it! I can't keep hanging out with him. I'll be a fucking blithering idiot in a month. And I hate blithering. 

We got to work only five minutes late, but were unlucky enough to have Pete standing on the steps to the trailer talking with Tiny. He looked over as he saw us and shook his head as we walked by. But other than that, nothing was said.

The days that followed were golden. I worked hard and at the end of the two week trial I was told that I was being kept on with a small pay increase. I was now making the money I'd need to get my own place before Aunt Dee and Uncle Gerard came back. Maryellen and my friend Mondo was having a great visit, it was good to see him again. He even started looking for a job in the area and a place for himself. Soon the old crew would be back together again. And that left Alex.

Alex and I grew closer as friends and were soon hanging out most of the time together. I even met his girlfriend when she stalked him one night and showed up while we were at a bar having a drink and shooting pool. She tried to accuse him of cheating but since the only woman in the place was old and obviously strung out on something she had to rethink her fears. Basically, I was finding my time in Florida entertaining and productive. I had myself pretty convinced that I was over my little infatuation with Alex and should start looking for a more suitable mate. Not that I wouldn't have swooned if he had crooked his little finger, but it was a beginning. I even forced myself to go out on dates. A long line of disastrous dates. 

"What was wrong with the last one?" Maryellen asked as she, Mondo, Alex and I lay on the beach one Saturday watching the kids play in the surf. 

"The last one? That would be Tom. Tom had an eerie connection with his mother." I answered.

"What kind of connection?" Alex asked laughing.

"She called him twice during dinner and once during dessert."

"So he's got an overprotective mother. Cut him some slack." Mondo defended.

"She was calling him back. When she called during dessert it was to tell him that he was on a date and to stop calling."

"He told you this?"

"He put her on speaker phone. I was embarrassed for him."

"What about the one before?"

"Oh that guy. He was creepy. He had a plush fetish and kept asking what suit size I wore."

"What's a plush fetish?" Asked Maryellen.

"That's where people dress up in furry animal suits and have sex."

"Oh!" Maryellen, Mondo and Alex all said at the same time. 

"People do that?" Alex asked.

"Apparently it's a hot new thing. I've been dodging his calls all week."

"And the first one?"

"He was nice." I answered honestly.

"So?" Maryellen asked. "What happened?"

"Nothing. When he dropped me off he didn't even try to kiss me or come in. Not that I was disappointed. Like I said, he was nice. Not great. Just nice."

"You're such a drama queen." Maryellen said. 

"What are you talking about?"

"He is." Mondo agreed. 

"Come on!"

"I knew that when I met him." Alex added.

"Fuck you guys! What was I supposed to do? He was a nice guy that I hope finds someone who he clicks with. We didn't click. The other guys I hope find some very good therapists. Why does this make me a drama queen?" I argued.

"It just does. You are one. That's it." Maryellen stated and turned away as if that changed the subject. 

"You're retarded." I mumbled and went to cool off in the ocean. I was out fifty feet from shore when I saw the humps and fins of dolphins swim by. 

"That's cool, right?" Alex asked from right next to me. 

"Yeah, I've never been this close to one." They were still a ways away but close enough to see detail as they broke the waves and took breaths. Alex took my hand.

"Come on." 

"I don't know if we should get that close to them."

"We're not going to. Just come under water with me." He pulled on my hand and I followed him under water. 

The salt started stinging my eyes but I held the open and looked into his eyes. Everything was green and shimmery and I realized that he was beautiful even under water. Alex held his hand up to his ear and looked expectantly at me. I listened and then heard what he was showing me. The dolphins were singing and you could hear them from where we were. I smiled and saw him answer with a wide smile of his own. The dolphins must have headed off because their singing diminished and our need for air increased forcing up to breath. 

"That was amazing!" I said.

"Yeah. I love doing that. When they get close they can get really loud. There's a place by where I used to live that they would come right up to you and play."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. It was great." We stared over the water and I realized that we were still holding hands. He must have realized it too cause he dropped my hand and started to head back to shore. "I'll race you."

He won of course but just being with him was enough for me. I was really getting too sappy. If I wasn't careful I'd fall in love with this hot straight boy. I'd been there once and I didn't want to go back again. I'd have to do something about this. 

The door bell rang around two thirty that night, pulling me out of a deep sleep. I got up and headed to shoot whoever was waking me up so late. I threw open the door and saw Alex standing there looking distraught and a bit drunk.

"Alex? What the hell, man. It's two thirty!"

"I know, but I had to see you."

"I'll give you a picture, you can look at it whenever you want. Now go home."

"No, I need to talk to you." He said and brushed passed me. 

"All right. What's going on?"

"It's Jen." Jen was "the girlfriend". 

"Oh shit." I said. This wasn't going to be good. 

"She broke up with me." He said, slurring his words. 

"Why?" I asked.

"She didn't say. She got home and said she was moving. She packed up her shit right in front of me. I kept trying to talk to her but she wouldn't say anything. Finally I just stopped trying and let her go." 

"Oh dude. I'm sorry. Are you ok?"

"I think so. I've been pretty sure it was going to happen for a while now. She just finally left. It's almost a relief. I don't have to fight with her anymore and don't have to put up with her shit."

"I know you were expecting it but still it hurts when it finally happens." I put an arm on his shoulder. 

"I'm better off." He said with conviction.

"Yes, you are. She seemed a bit crazy."

"She was!" He said. "Fucking nuts."

"Well then it's a good thing she's gone."

"Yeah. I'm glad."

"Well, you're drunk. I'm not sure that's the same thing."

"Sometimes it is."

"I guess."

We talked for a while longer and about a lot of things until I finally realized that he had passed out while I was talking. I lifted his feet till he was laying down on the couch he had passed out on and covered him with a blanket and went to sleep myself. I had fallen asleep when I was woken up with someone standing over me.

"Jesus!!!"




Alex and I Ch. 02



"No, it's just me." Alex said, still slurring his words. I could see by my alarm clock that it had only been a half hour since I had laid back down to bed.

"You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry."

"What are you doing?" 

"I want to sleep with you." He said.

"What? Why not just sleep on the couch? It's comfortable enough."

"I don't want to sleep in here with you. I want to sleep with you."

I was half asleep and it took a minute for my minute to translate what he was saying. When I did, I got angry.

"Fuck you, Alex. Go sleep on the couch."

"What? Why? I know you want me. I want you too."

"You're drunk and you just broke up with your girlfriend. I'm not going to sleep with you when you don't know what the fuck you're doing."

"I can fuck when I'm drunk."

"It's not if you can but if you should. And you shouldn't, Alex. Or at least, I shouldn't."

"Why?"

"Cause I don't want to be a pity fuck or someone's good enough for now fuck." The truth is, I had fallen in love with him and if I slept with him I would be gone totally. It would take me months to recover if at all.

"Josh, I'm drunk. I can't deny that."

"So just sleep it off and you're come to your senses in the morning and this will just be an embarrassing thing between two friends who don't talk of it. Ever."

"I'm drunk. But I wasn't when Jen was packing." Alex knelt down by the bed so that our faces were close together. "She said somethings, Josh. She followed us when we went to the beach today."

"So?" I asked, thinking what could have possibly made her so angry that she left him.

"She said that she knew you were gay."

"How the hell did she know I was gay?"

"I don't know, but she knew. She said that she knew I wanted you."

"What?" My voice came out as a whisper. "Why would she think you wanted me?"

"I don't know."

"She was just looking for a reason to end it, Alex. For whatever reason she used me being gay as an excuse. I'm sorry for that but she's not right in the head."

"Yeah, she was."

"She was, what?"

"She was right."

"About what?"

"I want to sleep with you." He said.

"No you don't."

Alex stood and threw the blanket off his shoulders. He unzipped his fly and pulled down his pants. His cock was straining against his boxer shorts, hard, thick and pulsing. 

"Yeah, I do." He said. "I want to fuck you."

"But- but- ." I was having trouble following along. "But you're not gay."

"Yeah, I might not be but I want to be with you. I want to be naked with you. I want your hands on me, on my body and my dick. I think about what it'd be like to kiss you and to touch you. I didn't get drunk because Jen left. I got drunk so I could come over here and tell you this." 

He knelt on the bed and I backed up trying to get away from him as if he were dangerous.

"Alex, please don't do this. This isn't right for either of us. It's not the right way." 

I pleaded but felt my constitution waning. Pretty soon I would fall and let him do whatever he wanted.

"It might not be the right way, baby. But it's all we got right now." And leaned in and kissed me. I was lost. I felt his tongue touch my lips and I parted them for him. His soft tongue slipped in and swept my mouth touching me here and there. I threw my arms around him and pulled him closer to me so I could feel his hard, hairy chest against mine. Our chest hair pulled and rubbed against each other feeling like a sensuous sand paper. I felt his manhood press against my inner thigh and moaned into his mouth making him growl in response. 

Alex moved the blanket out of the way and slid my underwear down around my ankles till I kicked them off. My cock was hard and leaking, resting in between our furry bellies. I felt his hands stroking my body where ever they went. He grabbed my pics in his large, wide hands and squeezed. I gasped and he released me instantly.

"Did I hurt you?"

"God, no."

"It's different with you." He sounded amazed.

"It's different with me?"

"You're harder, stronger and hairier than a woman." I was disappointed. 

I wanted him to say that it's never been like this with anyone but I knew that was expecting too much. He grabbed my chest again and squeezed, then stroked my belly and finally played with my cock until I was about to cum. I stopped him and pulled him up as I moved down. Finally, I was eye level with his groin, still encased in his boxers. I pulled the material down from his hips and saw my prize. It was long, and thick. About 8 inches and as fat as a beer can. Streams of pre-cum were leaking out of his large, circumcised tip. I licked the strands of cum and felt satisfied when I flicked his knob with my tongue making Alex flinch.

I swallowed his whole rod in my mouth and sucked as he thrust his hips face fucking me. He was moaning and mumbling as I paid his dick the attention it deserved. Finally, when his arms were weak from holding him for so long he flipped onto his back and I followed still sucking his hard shaft. 

I brought him to the brink of release as many times as I could, sucking on his cock and licking his balls, until I noticed that he was ready to cum. There wasn't anyway that I was going to go this far and not have him inside me. We had already crossed the line that I was sure would ruin our friendship once the morning came and he was already sealed in my heart. I would be suffering for a long time once this was over. I was already planning on having to move again but it was too late to change any of that. If I was going to crash I was going to do it big. I took a condom out of the night stand that I had kept in case of emergencies and some lube and dressed his cock up like a dandy. When he was ready, I took my position above him and looked into his eyes. They were smokey and dark and sparkling all at the same time. I lost my breath looking at him. Finally finding it, I took a deep gulp and lowered myself onto his cock.

The pain started and I cried out but Alex sat up in between my legs and pulled me into his arms.

"It'll be all right, baby. Take your time. I've got a big dick, you don't have to do it so fast. Here," He said as he started rocking his hips back and forth pressing more and more of himself into my ass. "How does that feel, Baby? Does that feel good? You like that? You want more?" I nodded barely able to speak. "Take a little more, baby. Take a little more of my dick inside you." 

I felt his cock push and retreat from my ass as I felt my ass open to accept him and ache when he pulled out. My whole being was, at this moment, solely for the purpose of his pleasure. I felt his dick head pop as it passed into my body.

"Can you take it, baby? Can I go deeper? I want to go deeper inside you so bad." Alex whispered and I realized that I could deny him nothing. 

I looked into his eyes and nodded my answer. He squared his feet on the bed and thrust up inside me till I felt my ass nestled in his pubic area. He cried out in pleasure, or masculine domination, or both as I cried out in pleasure and submission. He laid back on the bed and looked up at me and smiled.

"Do it, baby. Ride me. Ride my cock."

I did. I started rocking, slowly at first and then faster as I couldn't hold myself back. I wanted him and even though he was inside me totally it wasn't enough. I wanted everything he had to offer and for this one night at least, I was not going to stop until I had it. I grabbed his chest and used it to leverage myself as I moved up and down, back and forth. From my vantage point I could see the expressions as they moved across his face. I took power from what I saw, I felt my pleasure as I saw his flash in his eyes. I was slick with sweat and ached everywhere from the exertion when he finally lifted me and threw me on my back. I was too impressed with his effort to notice that he had remained connected with me while he had moved. He supported himself above me and stared down into my eyes. 

"I'm gonna fuck you now, Josh."

"Oh Alex, fuck me."

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, please, now!" 

I didn't even know what I was saying, only that I didn't want it to stop. I felt him pull his cock almost totally out then slam it back inside me. I cried out each time he did. Sometimes he would hold himself from thrusting inward and watch my face as I begged him to fuck me. I couldn't tell how long he did this, only that soon I was pleading with him. I couldn't even tell him what I was begging for. He increased his pace never breaking eye contact.

"I'm going to cum inside you, baby. I'm going to cum, Josh! You want my cum?! Tell me you want it!" I shouted that I did. "I'm almost there, baby! I'm about to cum!"

"So am I, Alex! I'm cumming too!"

He lowered his head and started sucking my nipple, making me shout as the feeling of him suckling and plowing my ass tortured me sweetly. He pulled away from my nipple and looked me in my eyes, his face lit with a wide smile.

"I'm cumming, baby! I'm cumming, Josh!!" 

I was too and couldn't answer but to cry out his name as I came and my ass spasmed around his cock. He let out a growl that I seemed to feel in my chest more than hear as he continued pounding my ass the entire time he released. 

Alex collapsed against my chest as we both fought for breath and to calm our bodies. Finally it was done and we both lay sated. Our breathing returned to normal. The endorphins having faded, reality threatened to crash in around me, all of the little voices offering their opinion that this was the worst idea I had ever had screamed at me. 

Alex pulled his softening penis from me, dispensed with the used condom and curled up next to me. He threw his arm over me and drew me close against him.

"Did you like it, baby?" He whispered sleepily. 

"I did, Alex. Did you?" He chuckled.

"Are you crazy? Of course I did."

It wasn't long till he started snoring in my ear. He snored like a sailor but for some reason that endeared him all the more to me. It wasn only then that I felt safe enough to whisper "I love you" to him and received a loud snore in response. 

Sunday dawned and honestly, I slept till eleven. We I woke I ached everywhere. It was a good burn though and I must have smiled like the Cheshire cat at the memory of earning those aches. I leaned back expecting to feel Alex behind me but there was nothing but empty bed. The warm glow left me as I realized that the new day had indeed come and brought with it the expected and if I may say cliched, result of the absent lover. No doubt he was somewhere telling himself that it never happened and the best thing he could do was stay away from me. The bright day took on a new gloom.



Alex and I Ch. 03



I got up, showered, dressed and called my friends to see what their plans were for the day. I might be dejected, depressed and miserable but I could still be that while hanging out with my friends. I met them at IHOP for breakfast before a day of Maryellen's beloved yard sales and flea markets. The woman really did like cheap shit. 

"What's up with you?" She asked as I sat down at the table. It was already crowded with most of the people who lived with her and Mondo who by now was used to the insanity that followed her. 

"Not much."

"Don't give me that. What happened?"

"Alex came over last night."

"And?" 

"His girlfriend left him last night."

"Oh."

"He was drunk."

"Uh-oh."

"One thing led to another."

"Uh-huh?"

"We slept together."

"And?"

"And I woke up with him not in my bed."

"Shit." Maryellen said and looked concerned.

"That sucks, dude. Anyway he just had something to do?" Mondo asked.

"After last night, he could have at least woken me and said goodbye. I'm not expecting a proposal just a little basic human decency." 

"I thought he cared for you." Maryellen added.

"I think he does, but I don't think he cared that much. We were friends, he thought he'd give it a shot and he did. It's over."

"Have you called him?" Mondo asked.

"I really don't want to be the stalker one night stand that calls and says something like 'you left a little early. Just wondering if everything's ok. Call me.' Yeah, no. I'd rather not be that person."

"Well, he's a shit head then." Maryellen said.

"Maybe he'll come around." Mondo added.

We spent the day going from sale to sale, rooting through tacky junk that most people didn't want when it was new and finally I headed home to be by myself. I would have thought I'd need people and friendship to distract me but I actually found that I just wanted to be alone. I tried watching t.v. and going for a dip in the pool but neither seemed to help, so I grabbed a book and sat to read. An hour later a familiar truck pulled up in front of the house and Alex walked up to the step.

"Hey." I said in surprise as I opened the door.

"Hey." He answered with a grin on his face. "How do you feel?"

"I feel ok." I said and smiled back at him.

"Just ok? You don't feel terrific? Awesome? Like it's difficult to walk?" He asked and put his hands on my hips.

"Well, now that you mention it, I might be feeling some or all of those things." I said and he laughed.

"Yeah, me too. Last night was incredible! I haven't cum that hard in years!" 

He lowered his face and gave me a peck on the cheek then walked passed me and flung himself down on the couch. 

"Dude, you have an unbelievable ass! It felt like a hand wrapped around my dick, jerking and pulling it. I can't stop thinking about it."

"Everyone has talents. Some people can do Suduko, I have a different talent." He laughed again. "You left a little early this morning." 

"Is that why you're all weird?" He asked, looking like a little boy who got caught doing something wrong and was going to charm his way out of it.

"I'm not weird."

"You're weird."

"All right, I am. I didn't think you'd be back." I said, deciding to be honest and crossing my arms over my chest in a useless effort to protect myself. God, I hate feeling vulnerable. He stood up and came toward me.

"Why did you think I wouldn't be back? You think I'd just sex you up and ditch out? You should know me better than that." He put his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. "I had somethings to do, you were sleeping, I figured I'd do my shit and get back when I could. I wouldn't do that to you." 

He said and lifted my face to look into his eyes. I felt like such a whiny bitch at the moment and hating myself for doubting him. Of course he wouldn't just leave without a thought. He was my Alex. My Alex. My best friend, my lover, my partner, my life. 

"Dude, we're friends." He said and stepped back. "I wouldn't just run out on a friend."

The sick bastard was going to kill me. He was going to outright kill me and the headlines would read, 35 year Old Homo Died Alone of a Broken Heart. Alex sat down on the couch and flipped on the t.v. He looked up at me and lifted his arm.

"Come here, papi. Watch t.v. with me." I knew I shouldn't but I did. I sat next to him and leaned against him feeling the solidity and strength of his body. His arm rested around my shoulders and I rested my hand on his thigh. We watched t.v. for an hour or two all the while, Alex would lean and whisper in my ear things he wanted to do to me later. He described everything in such detail I felt like we were already making love. 

"I'm going to suck on your nipples and maybe bite them a little. Not too hard just enough to make you crazy. Then I'm going to lick my way down to your belly button and lick that before moving on to your dick. I think I might want to try sucking your dick? Is that ok, Baby? You want me to suck your dick?"

I couldn't breath much less answer, so I nodded. His mouth was right next to my ear and I felt his thick lips moving against it. I felt his breath as he spoke, and the vibrations of his voice sent shivers down my spine. 

"You like the things I do to your body, Josh? You like when I fuck you like a man? Yeah, you do." He said and flicked my ear with his tongue. His saliva left a cool patch which froze and tingled when he breathed. "You like me to fuck you like a man and you like to take it like a man, don't you baby?"

I stood up, my erection pushing forward in my pants. He looked up at me and smiled as I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the bedroom.

"You want it now, baby?" He asked and followed me willingly. "Yeah, you want it now. I want it now too." We got to the bedroom and he pulled me into his arms and started kissing me. His talented tongue stroking and massaging mine so good that I wondered if he was ready to learn how to give a rim job. "I want your ass, Josh."

"I want your dick, Alex." I said as we undressed. "I want you to be inside of me."

"Oh I will be, papi."

We were standing naked and pressed against up against each other, our hard ons captured between our bodies. But we had stopped. We just held and stared at each other, sliding our hands up and down the others body. Neither of us spoke, just listened to each others breathing and took in the orgy of sensual stimulation. I saw and felt him. I had the sound of him, the smell of him and the taste of him. He lowered his head and took my lips with his own, his tongue pushing inside again to be with mine. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him even closer to me. 

Alex lowered me across the bed and I let my legs stand on the floor. He kept to his word and suckled on my nipples, lightly biting and nipping before kissing his way down to my dick. He took it tentatively in his mouth and suckled on that. I moaned and lifted my head to watch him. His eyes met mine and there was a question in them. He was asking if he was doing ok. I smiled back at him and felt him suck with vigor. I let him learn what it was like to take a man in your mouth before pulling him up to meet me in a kiss. His large cock swung in front of my face and I opened my own mouth to take him. I tasted his salty, sweet, musky flavor as I brought him in as far as I could. His moans and words of encouragement egging me on. He pulled out and came down to kiss me and lay his body on mine, letting me take his weight. 

"I want to be inside you, Josh." 

"I want you, Alex." I said, trying to speak everything that was in my heart. "I want you so bad."

He found a condom and lube from the nightstand and wrapped himself quickly before kneeling on the edge of the bed and lifting my legs. 

"Are you ready, baby?"

"Yeah, Alex. Take me." 

He pushed his cock to my asshole and started rocking against it. I felt the large slippery head on my body and moaned as it slipped into me. Slowly he started feeding me his entire length, the girth of it opening me as it moved inward. Finally he was totally in and there he rested. I opened my eyes and saw Alex looking down at me from above. I loved this man with all my heart and nothing felt as right as giving myself to him. He pulled my legs up over his shoulders and leaned down so that our faces were only inches away from each others. 

"Is this ok, baby?" He asked.

"It's perfect."

"Are you ready?"

"I'm ready."

Alex withdrew and thrust himself back in, watching my face each time he did. Only when he saw I was ready did he move faster, only when he thought it would give me pleasure did he slow down. I tried to meet his body as he pummeled his cock into me and soon our rhythm increased. We hadn't spoken in a while, saving our energy for breathing, moaning and monosyllabic utterances of pure pleasure. He looked down at me.

"I'm gonna cum."

"Me too." I said and I looked up into his face.

Alex slowed his pace but lengthened his stroke and I could see the fire burn in his eyes. He gritted his teeth and the growl came from deep within his chest and just as he found his release, he increased his pace and slammed my ass in rapid thrusts. I couldn't hold on and came with him covering our bodies with cum. 

We fell against each other, lost in the after glow where nothing mattered but that you were together. This time had been different. It had meant something, not only to me but to him. I was sure he felt it and knew that he would recognize it for something more than friendship. I smiled and felt the after glow recede and light my heart. 

Alex shifted and rose up, slowly disconnecting our bodies. I turned my face to look at him and saw him frowning.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He said, but the frown remained. "I gotta go." 

"What do you mean? I thought you were spending the night."

"No, I can't. I don't have any of my work clothes." He answered as he got up and started to dress.

"Go get some and come back." I offered.

"That doesn't make sense. To drive all the way there and then all the way back." He answered and had no idea my heart was breaking as he went to find his shoes. I followed him naked and fearful into the living room.

"Stay here and we'll get them in the morning."

"That's just stupid." 

He said and his tone left nothing to be insinuated. He was leaving and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I stood silent and helpless and he finished putting on his shoes and headed to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said and left.

The truck started with a roar and took off, tires chirping. He was running away. I stood in the bay window, naked as a jay bird trying to hold on to a hope that he would change his mind and come back. When that hope died, I went back to my bed and lay down till I was too exhausted to stay awake. I hadn't cried though. I had that, at least, for which I could be proud. 

I waited for Alex to pick me up in the morning for work but when he didn't show by eight thirty I called Maryellen and had her drive me. I was fifteen minutes late, and got bitched at by Pete. I promised him that it would never happen again and was sent to find Tiny. Tiny informed me that I wouldn't be working with Alex, go figure, but that I would be prepping another area of the site that construction was going to start on soon. It was away from the main job and I guess it worked well, cause I could work alone and not have to bother with anyone. I watched for Alex's truck all day but it never showed. I finally asked someone and found that he was working on another site. No doubt in an effort to put distance between us.

The week followed pretty much like that, going to work and not being around Alex, coming home, choking down some dinner, reading a book and going to bed. The only thing interesting was on Wednesday I found a place a few miles from where I was staying. It was a fixer upper but cute and cozy. Some work needed to be done in every room and the yard was a mess but it would give me something to do at least. I figured I'd start with the pool and get that useable as soon as possible. It was rent to own, so the owners let me move in right away and with the money I had saved up and some I had from New York I signed the papers and took possession. Maryellen offered to help me furnish and decorate it and after a few arguments on exactly what my tastes ran to, she did o.k. finding interesting things from the yard sales, flea markets and thrift stores that she liked to haunt.

I thought that the weekend would come and Alex would call. I figured he would have gotten through whatever he was going through and at least be able to talk to me about it. But there was no call. I spent the weekend planning the work on my house and fixing things that required immediate attention. Two weeks went by and no word from him. I had painted my bedroom and gotten a decent bed, though most of the house still looked like an empty shell. I spent my nights reading, not having gotten cable yet and not really interested in doing so. Work was the same. I still hardly ever saw Alex anymore and then found out he had asked to stay off that job in particular. I went home and cried that night and got drunk. It seemed the only way I could fall asleep.

Two and a half weeks after lasting speaking with Alex, a small crew of six contractors had been moved from the old building to start the new one and I was running brick and supplies for them. I heard a shout ordering someone to get a hard hat and the resulting commotion when that person apparently refused. I turned my head and saw Jen walking straight toward me. 

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" She screamed, standing in front of me. The entire crew stopped to watch, a few of them smiling enjoying the show. 

"Jen, let's just go somewhere and talk about this." 

"Fuck that! And fuck you, faggot!! You think you can sleep with someone else's man and get away with it?!" 

The smiles that the men had worn faded as comprehension flooded over them and some of their looks turned dark quickly. This was the bible belt after all.

"Jen-."

"Alex is mine! He'll always be mine!! You don't have a shot in hell!! So get it through your sissy mind and fuck off!!! And stop sleeping with other people's men!!!" She said and stormed off. 

I stood there for a minute, my face pale white, my hands shaking till Tiny came over from the first building.

"What the fuck was that all about?" He shouted. No one would answer. He stood in front of me. "Well?"

"Some crazy bitch, Tiny. She doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about." I denied what Jen said but knew the guys already believed it. It was a done deal. Not really being friends with any of these guys, I could give a fuck, but Alex. What would they do to Alex? 

I got back to work as if nothing had happened but slowly realized that the other guys hadn't. They were working but some snide comments came out as the day progressed. By lunch time, they were openly calling me faggot, cock sucker, fudge packer, and a variety of colorful epithets. The shoulder bumps started not long after and I started to worry that this wouldn't blow over any time soon. It only got worse.

Daryl, one of the loudest men on the crew who says how he should be foreman instead of Tiny but only behind Tiny's back, walked up to me and stood directly in my way. I stepped aside and tried to go around, but he stuck his foot out and tripped me. I fell down hard landing on hard broken cement. I felt blood dripping down my leg and hand. 

"Don't get to close boys, faggot here gots the aids blood." He laughed and a few others joined him.

"Fuck you, Daryl. Just get back to work." I said, standing and turning to face him.

"Fuck me? No thanks, you're not my type." He said.

"I'll be gone after today, guys. Just let me get back to work and you won't have to see me again." 

"That's not good enough." Daryl said and swung hitting me square in the jaw. I went down again but was up pretty quickly.

"All right, asshole." I said, as I spit blood on the ground. "You want to fight a fag? Let's go."

I held my own pretty well and just when it seemed I had the upper hand, someone jumped me from behind. In minutes I was on the ground being kicked in the stomach, back, face, anywhere they could reach. I could only curl up and protect myself as best I could. When I heard the gun go off I got really scared. This was the bible belt after all.

"If one of you assholes touches him again, I will shoot you dead." The men cleared away leaving only Daryl standing above me. I looked up and saw Tiny pointing a pistol at him.

"Tiny, he's a faggot!" Daryl said as if it made everything all right.

"I don't care if he's a Communist. Get the fuck away from him." Tiny waited for a minute as Daryl thought it over. "You do realize that the safety's off and my hand isn't as sturdy as it used to be. This here gun might just go off for no reason." Daryl left after that and Tiny came and helped me up.

"You ok, kid?" 

"Yeah, I feel like shit, but I'm all right."

"We'll get you to the trailer. The police will be here soon." Tiny helped me cross the site and into the trailer where I sat in front of an irate Pete.

"I imagine that hoochie mama was here looking for you?" Pete asked.

"Yeah."

"I take it that was Alex's girl?"

"Ex."

"I take it she wasn't to happy about your and Alex's.... friendship?" I looked up at Pete and saw that he knew what had happened. 

"How did you know about that?"

"Son, I had you pegged for... a gay when we met. You're not the first one to work for me, shit you're not even the only one working for me. I'm not going to be marching with y'all but I don't really care what you guys do at home."

"But how did you know about me and Alex?"

"I saw you fall for him the moment you saw him. You dropped them bricks and I thought 'oh shit. Here it comes.' You and he got to be friends so I thought you figured something out that worked for both of you. Who am I to say squat?"

"Yeah, well. Jen found out and she decided to come here and make my life a living hell."

"About that, those guys are fired and the cops should be here if you want to press charges."

"That'd be a little difficult since that's half your crew."

"Not half. Just six of them. They can be replaced and regardless of what you decide to do they don't work for me anymore. I've written up their last paychecks. They're done. That type of shit doesn't happen on my site. No fighting for any reason. Period."

The cops came at that point and I pressed charges against all six of them. There were witnesses who collaborated my statement and they were taken into custody before the end of day. Just another bright point to add to my already impressive list of shitty things happening that week. I sat down with Pete after the cops left.

"Pete, I want to thank you for giving me the job." I started. 

"But you're leaving?" He guessed.

"Yeah. Not cause of what happened with those scum bags. I found a job as an E.M.T. I'll make decent money and I'll be doing what I really love to do."

"Well, you can't beat that. I'll be sorry to see you go. You turned out to be a pretty good worker."

"When I wasn't getting heat stroke, gay bashed and dumping bricks, you mean?"

"Everyone has bad days." We both laughed.

"Well, thanks again. You've been a good guy." I said and stood.

"Come down on Friday and I'll have your check for you."

"Thanks. I appreciate it." 

I went home and sat down on my new couch and watched the world pass by through the big bay window. I would eventually have to get up and finish the very many projects I had to do at the house, some of them I would need a carpenter for. I laughed and thought with a bit of gallows humor that I could ask Alex to do it. Then the thought of Alex depressed me to the point where I did leave the couch and went to look for something to take my mind off of him. 




Alex and I Ch. 03



The next day I woke up early and tackled the pool filter. The guys would be there the next day to patch the few cracks it had and then it would be ready to fill. Later that day I was planning on going to a nursery and picking up some plants to put around the house. A few more weeks on the inside and then I could start on the outside, which really just needed a fresh coat of paint.

"What are you doing home?" Maryellen asked as she walked around the side of the house to the lanai. I kept working on the filter, not wanting her to see the angry bruises that I had woken up with.

"I quit. The ambulance squad I applied to accepted my application. I start on Monday."

"That's awesome!" 

"I guess." 

"What do you mean, you guess? You've been dying for that job."

"I don't know how long I'm going to be here. I'm thinking of heading off to somewhere else."

"Where?"

"California, maybe. I haven't gotten my heart broken in California, thought I might give that a try."

"Jesus, you are such a drama queen."

"Maybe I am, but I'm in pain and that's how I deal with it."

"You'd just be running away from him."

"No, I wouldn't because he already ran away from me. You can't run away from someone who already ran away from you. It's impossible. All you can do is run away from the place you were standing when the other person decided to run."

"What?!"

"I'm not running away from anything. I wasjust thinking I'll try something new."

"You bought a house here!"

"I can fix it up and flip it, or rent it out. If I do six month leases than if I want to come back the most I'll have to wait is six months."

"I still say you're running away from Alex."

"I really don't want to talk about him." I said, forgetting my bruises and sitting back on my feet to face her.

"What the fuck happened to your face?!"

"I got in a fight."

"With who?" She asked. "Did Alex do this to you?"

"No! Alex didn't do this to me. There were some guys at the job site who didn't like the fact that they were working with a fag. I was doing all right one and one but then his friend jumped me from behind."

"I'll fucking kill them. Give me their names, I'm going to start making some calls."

"Don't bother. They're in jail. I go to court in a couple of weeks but I doubt they'll do any serious time."

"Are you all right?"

"No." I answered honestly and she pulled me into a hug. "No, I'm broken right now. I don't feel like myself and I hurt all the time and I just want it to stop. I feel stupid cause I knew it was going to happen, but at the same time I feel helpless cause I couldn't have stopped it even if I wanted to. I'm not sure what to do but I know if I give myself some time I'll figure it something out."

Maryellen didn't say anything and sat back to search my face as if trying to find my answer herself. 

"You need to go out."

"Really? That's what you suggest? Going out?"

"Not to a bar, just out out. Get out of here, be with people who don't want anything from you but your company. We're all going out to the boardwalk tonight, you should come."

"I don't really want to."

"Which is why you should. You're going. I'll be here to pick you up at six. We'll eat there." She said as she left. I shook my head and finished the pool filter. 

Maryellen was at my house at six, with as many people as she could fit in her car, and two other cars behind hers. She was bringing the whole crew and for Maryellen that meant something. We drove to the boardwalk and walked down it's length treating the kids to this ride or that game. I did get away from my problems for a moment until I turned from watching the kids ride one of the small roller coasters and came face to face with Alex. 

"Hey." He said.

"Hey Alex." I answered simply. There was a small girl standing next to him holding his hand. "Who's this?"

"This is my neice, Alicia." Alex turned to her and said something in Spanish. The girl turned and ran over to a young woman who was watching us closely. "That's my sister, Ana."

"Oh, she looks like you." She did, she was gorgeous too. The whole damn family had better genes than Levi. 

"I've been looking for you. I stopped at your old place, and even at Maryellen's."

He said. I turned to Maryellen who just raised her eyebrows at me as if to say 'I wasn't going to tell him where you were and you didn't want to talk about him'. 

"Yeah, I moved." I said. Alex stepped forward and took my hat off, and saw the bruises. He cursed in Spanish.

"I heard what happened but by the time I got there you had left. Pete said you quit."

"Yeah."

"You quit because of them?"

"I didn't quit because of them, Alex. I quit because of you. Because of us." I walked around him and tried to continue on my way but he caught up with me and walked beside me. 

"I know." 

"Well, now you know. You also know now why I can't see you or talk to you." Alex stood in my way.

"No, Josh. I don't know why you can't talk to me or see me."

"That's funny considering you asked to be assigned to another job so you wouldn't have to see me." I argued.

"I know." He said, and hung his head. "I've been a schmuck. I've been trying to work through something and I couldn't do it with you there."

"Why do guys always say shit like that? It's such fucking bullshit!!! I was there for you when you needed me or wanted me but when I needed you you were gone!!" Alex kept glancing embarrassed looks over at his sister and her kids.

"I know and I'm sorry. I really am. Can we go somewhere and talk about this?" He asked.

"No, Alex. We can't."

"But why?"

"Because after every time we have sex you freak out and leave. Because that's all it is to you is sex. Because I can't keep throwing my heart into something that's not going to work and it's not going to work with you. You're straight, I'm not." 

Alex was staring at his feet and wouldn't look up to meet my eyes. I thought I saw a tear drop fall and knew he was hurting too. It had to be confusing for a straight man to figure out why he had sex with another man. I felt the anger leave me and was just left with a depression.

"Look Alex," I began. "This isn't your fault. This is mine. I knew you were off limits, that you weren't like me and I still allowed it anyway. You were just having fun and normally that'd be fine. I fell in love. It's my fault. But I am hurting right now and I can't be around you or see you anymore. I need to do what's best for me now. So, please just stay away. I'm sorry I can't be your friend."

I turned around and walked back to the car knowing that Maryellen was following me having left her kids with Mondo, her sister and her husband. She would see me home and there I would be safe. I felt her arm wrap around my shoulder as we walked and I leaned against her as I cried.



Alex and I Ch. 04



The next morning I woke, feeling like I had a bowling ball in my stomach but I climbed out of bed, washed, dressed and checked myself in the mirror. The bruises I had were going down and hopefully by Monday when I started my new job they would be all healed. But today the house repairs needed to be seen to.

Maryellen and Mondo stopped over at lunch time while the guys were filling the pool with water. I set out some lunch stuff and some iced coffee and we sat down to eat and bullshit. Mondo finally broached the subject by asking me how I was doing.

"I feel horrible but what can you do? I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough and I've got a lot of stuff to keep me going. By the way, if you want when you decide to move down you can move in here with me. We'll set up the spare bedroom for you that way you won't have to endure the craziness over at Maryellen's either."

"Fuck you." Maryellen said without any real heat. "My place isn't crazy."

"You're place is a zoo." I answered.

"Oh hell yeah it is." Mondo agreed.

"That's nice we come over here to see if Josh is ok and you both start ragging on me."

"I'm fine, guys. I mean, I'm not but I will be. Eventually. I just got dealt a shitty hand. Again. I'll bounce back."

"You don't sound too sure." Mondo said.

"Well, I guess when you get older you lose your spring and it takes longer to bounce back." I laughed but didn't feel like laughing.

We had a nice meal, watched the guys finish filling the pool and didn't talk about my heartache and loss again. When they left I told them that I would prep the pool for swimming and let them know when they could come over for a swim. 

The weekend went quickly with me spending all of my time getting the house ready. It was coming along and would be in good shape by next weekend when I planned to throw a house warming party. I didn't feel much like partying but in Florida that's what one does and I figured going through the motions would at least help me feel a little more normal.

Monday came and I started to work at the ambulance squad. It was great. The area we were in had a high call volume and we were constantly heading out into the thick of it. There was also a great deal of overtime available so I took some time off from home repairs to rack up more hours at work. By the middle of the week I felt like one of the gang. We were out on Wednesday, stopping for a bite to eat when we got a call. It was to my old job site and my unit had been specifically requested. My partner, a really cool girl who had just finished her paramedic, and I jumped up from the table and ran to the rig.

"Do you know why the requested us?" Nicky asked.

"I used to work there. What's the call for?"

"A 71 year old male with chest pain." She answered and I gunned it as I flipped on the lights and siren. I wondered if it were Pete or Tiny. When we got there we saw a group of men standing around someone who had been placed in the shade. I ran with Nicky up to them and pushed them aside, only barely registering that Alex was there.

It was Tiny. He looked a little flushed and was holding his chest but at least he was still breathing. I grabbed a wrist and found his pulse to be a little fast but strong. 

"How you doing Tiny?" I asked.

"Ok, now. I took my medicine and the pain went away. It feels fine now."

"What did you take?"

"My nitro."

"How many doses?" 

"Just one." 

"And it help that quick?" I asked.

"Yeah. It was just my goddamn angina. Kicks up every once in a while."

I kept asking him questions, and helping Nicky put him on the monitor. When he was all hooked up we watched the flashing blip of light dance across the screen. Nicky looked up at me as if to say 'he's ok'. 

"All right, Tiny. You're ok for now. But we're going to bring you to the hospital and get you checked out." I stood up and headed back to the rig to get the stretcher. As soon as I stood, Tiny stopped me.

"I'm ok."

"I know you are, Tiny. But you have to be seen by a doctor. He's got to make sure you're all right."

"No, really. I'm fine." He said and started taking the monitor off his chest. 

"Tiny!" I said trying to get his attention. "You had chest pain and you have a heart condition. This could be nothing but it could also be the beginning of a heart attack. You need to go to the hospital."

"All right, I will."

"Good." I said and tried to go get the stretcher again.

"After work."

We tried for a half an hour to convince him that he needed to go to the hospital but he kept refusing. I tried to get Pete to force him to go, but even he was being stubborn today. 

"He's 71 years old, kid. He was old when I started working here and now we're both old. He knows what he wants."

"Are you fucking serious?" 

I asked him but got no answer. Nicky and I had Tiny sign a refusal to be treated form and packed our stuff back into the rig as Nicky called back in service on the radio. Tiny and the other guys had gotten back to work, and Pete was sitting on the steps to the trailer as if watching some big show. I was just about to get back into the rig when I saw Alex just standing where Tiny had been laying. He was staring at me. I nodded at him and looked away. I was just about to get back into the ambulance when Nicky asked.

"Who is that guy? He's gorgeous!" I closed my eyes cause I knew who she was talking about.

"His name is Alex." 

"Well, he's coming over here." I turned around and saw that Alex was only a few feet away from me.

"Don't do this." I pleaded with him. "I can't take this." I whispered. Alex didn't stop until he was standing right in front of me. His mouth moved as if he was trying to say something but nothing came out. "What?"

"I miss you." He said, at last. 

"I can't do this, Alex. I have to get over this."

"I don't want you to get over this. Getting over this means getting over me." He said.

"Yeah, that's what it means."

"I can't allow that."

"You can't allow that?!" I said, suddenly angry. "I don't give a fuck what you think you can allow or not! Who the fuck-." 

My lips were silenced by his and my tongue was distracted by his and my entire body was caught up in his. His hands were on my face holding me to him. When he finally released me he let his forehead rest on mine. 

"I love you, Josh."

"Alex-"

"I love you the way a man loves a man. I want to be with you. I want to sleep with you and I want to sleep beside you. I want you in my life and I'll make up for all the stupid shit I pulled when I was figuring that out and if you don't want to say yes right now then don't, just give me a chance to show you how much I want and need you."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. My heart melted and I was lost again. I was pretty sure that from this one there was going to be no recovery.

"Say something, baby." He said still holding me.

"Um..." I didn't have a chance, our unit was called out to another emergency. I looked at him helplessly. "I have to go."

"I know." He said, releasing me. "You go, baby. Save some lives." He backed up a few feet from me and waited while I started getting in the rig.

"7392 Ocean Boulevard." I called to him. "I get off at seven." He smiled and it filled my heart. 

I was in a daze for the rest of the day. Not a dangerous one, I did what I had to do when Nicky and I were on a case but every free second my thoughts were of him. Nicky was downright jealous and hounded me for details of how we met and how we got together. I told her our long story and she was giddy by the time it ended. 

"That's so fucking romantic!" She sighed. "And now you're together again."

"Is that what happened?" I asked, again I was dazed and not ready to accept what I thought happened. 

"That's what happened." She said. She let me go as soon as we got back to the squad house telling me she would see to the rig and the gear. I clocked out, didn't even change and sped all the way home. 

Alex was there waiting for me. He was sitting on my front step, washed, dressed and polished waiting for me with a small bouquet of flowers and a small smile. I got out of my car and walked to him. 

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." I said. 

"I've been waiting for you."

"I told you I had to work till seven."

"No. I mean I've been waiting for you. I've been waiting for you for a long time." He said and lowered his face to take my lips with his. We went inside and I tried to show him the house while he tried to be interested but our minds were on each other and being together.

"I have to change. I'm still wearing my work clothes." I said and headed for the bedroom.

"I'll help." He said and followed me. 

He unbuttoned my shirt and slid it off my shoulders, dragging his hands along my bare skin. I unbuttoned his dress shirt and threw it to the side. He undid my trousers and I unbuttoned his jeans. We slid each others boxers off and shucked our shoes till we stood naked in front of one another. We were breathing so hard I felt lightheaded. He smiled.

"You look a little dizzy. You need some water?"

"No, I only need what I've always needed. You." I answered and pulled him to me. 

It seemed like for hours we rolled around on the bed, just content to be with each other and touch our bodies, and have them rub together. I took him in my mouth and gave him pleasure till I couldn't stand it anymore, and needed him inside me. My need was his need and he threw on a condom and lubed himself up. He was above me and he drew my legs open while he played with my asshole. 

"Oh God, Alex. I need you so bad."

"I know, baby. I'm here for you. I need you too. We'll do this together." 

He said as he fit himself inside of me. The fullness of his cock swelled inside me and I moaned at the feeling. I wrapped my arms around him and felt him wrap his around me. He pulled me to him and we kissed while experiencing the feeling of being connected. 

"Do you want me to move, baby?"

"Yeah, papi. I want you to move."

He did. He stroked my ass with his dick, pulling out and pushing in, building an intense pressure where we were joined. He did this slowly as he stared into my eyes and I stared into his. We were satisfied with this slow, sweet coupling until our needs changed and our bodies required our completion. Without speaking his rhythm increased and I matched his pace. I took him into me as I languished in the feeling of him. He didn't announce his cumming, just watched my face till he saw mine and finished with me, growling his delight. 

"I like your house." He said to me after catching his breath. I laughed and he joined in.

"You prick! That's what you say to me after?" I smiled feeling totally relaxed and only a little fearful that this was just a dream.

"No." He said and rolled to me. "I love you, Josh. I'm so happy I met you. When you were gone I couldn't stand it. I'm so sorry for what I did to you."

"I love you to, Alex. I forgive you, but don't even send me away again."

"I never will." He said and I believed him. For the first time I felt that this was real.

That weekend at the party, I was in full spirits. I had my house and my lover, who had just finished moving his stuff into our new home. It felt full, though rough around the edges with what we still needed to finish. Our home was full with love and with life as our friends, even Alex's sister and nieces who were visiting from Mexico, came to enjoy our new place and new found happiness. His sister took the news that her brother had decided on a gay life quite well and had sworn that his mother and other brothers and sister in Mexico would too. Maryellen sat with me at the table on the lanai as our guests mingled and Alex rough housed with the kids in the pool. I smiled as I felt shaken again that he was truly mine.

"You look happy." Maryellen smiled.

"I am." I said and had nothing more to say. What more could I say? I was happy to the core.

"All because of me." She said and I laughed. 

"Maybe a little bit because of you," I agreed. "But there was a quite a lot that he and I had to do with it."

"Yeah, but that's just stuff." She answered. Alex came up from behind me and wrapped me in a big wet hug.

"Oh Jesus!!" I cried.

"No, still just me." He laughed.

"Thanks for that, hon." I said sarcastically, even though I didn't mind in the least. He leaned and whispered in my ear.

"When are these people leaving, baby?" My face flushed with anticipation.

"Hopefully, very soon, papi." I answered and kissed him with all the love in my heart.

Everyone did leave soon and we waved them off as if we were sad to see them go but really just intent on being together. We made love into the early morning and felt him curl his length behind me, spooning me. He wrapped one great hairy arm over me and nuzzled the nape of my neck.

"I love you, Josh." He whispered.

"I love you, Alex." I answered. He snored.