20 comments/ 41408 views/ 46 favorites AU Ch. 01 By: FangsAnarchy Many people go to college expecting to fall in love. Mark was not one of those people. He was a non traditional student and it had taken him a long time to get to this point. He certainly didn't want to be distracted by some man. Mark was moving into his dorm room. The school told him he would be treated like other freshman and he still had to live in a dorm. He smiled a little as if that would be terrible. Aside from having rules and a roommate a dorm was a heck of a lot better than living in a box on fifth avenue. He was nervously wondering if his roommate would accept the fact that he was gay. The titanium barbell through his tongue made a horrible clicking sound as he flicked his tongue-ring against his teeth. He had on one of his out and proud T-shirts. It was black with sparkly purple writing across the front. "Smile, it's okay to be gay," it read, a smiley face juxtaposed beneath it. Mark usually had on something dark. He didn't like being messed with and his rainbow pride was always visible. The twenty-two year old figured that if he was upfront about his sexual preference then people couldn't claim they were shocked. His big baggy black clothes dripping with chains made him look bigger than his half starved frame really was. Most of the other kids were waving good bye happily to their parents ready to begin their new lives. Mark wasn't one of those kids. He had been kicked out of his home when he was only fifteen years old. His parents had found out he was gay in the worst way imaginable. Now as far as the Jameson's were concerned they only had a young daughter. Their son had died when he was fifteen and Mark was never spoken about again. Mark had bounced around from foster home to foster home eventually landing in a shelter. It had taken almost everything out of him just to finish high school. Mark realized he never wanted to have to depend on someone again. So with the help of scholarships grants and loans here he was four years later about to meet some homophobic teenager. Mark inserted his key into the creaky latch of the care-worn door. The residence hall was one long hall way with many wooden doors nestled between white cinder blocks. Marks black army boots collided with the cold classroom like floor. He was living in Dalton Residence Hall this year and was nervous about who was on the other side of the suddenly intimidating door in front of him. He opened the door and smirked at the almost floral scent that wafted out into the hall. Laying on a four poster bed, was a small kid with blonde hair and a rainbow flag proudly displayed over his bed. Their eyes met and they laughed, clearly relieved they played for the same team. "I was worried you would be some ass-hole preppy jock." The blonde giggled happily, a nice little bubbling sound that rolled off of him like happy froth from a steamy caramel latte. Mark couldn't help but remember he had been thinking the same thing only moments ago. His mantis green eyes drank in Justin's things already carefully organized it their room. Justin had more clothes in the room than Mark had owned in the past four years. Everything was organized by color and many of the things looked like they belonged to a girl. Mark noticed the bows and the make-up. The perfume, not cologne but perfume, was organized by shape and size. "Justin," He said getting up and offering a dainty hand. Mark smiled, noticing how small Justin was now that he was actually standing. "Mark," he said offering his hand. Just then, he noticed the subtle differences in Justin's hands. For one, they were much softer, tinier, and most importantly they were tanner than the ones he possessed. Mark, for some reason, always looked pale. This went along with his darker gothic look. However, the pale skin unlike with the other gothic teens was not intentional. Mark nodded to the empty bed, "That one mine?" he inquired his ivy green eyes motioning to the unoccupied bed. Mark could have kicked himself for how stupid a question it was. Justin nodded "Yeah, but we can rearrange the room and whatnot. I like to people-watch, so I picked the window but it's not a big deal if you want it?" The room was a small cold space. There was one window which let in minimal warmth. The walls were almost prison like which was oddly fitting. They were a boring grey color with many cold unforgiving cinder blocks. Justin's side was brightened up far more than Mark could hope to brighten his. Justin had so many things everywhere and it made the room look bigger. Mark rested his only suitcase down on the other bed. Mark smiled, a happy gesture that reached all the way to his eyes "Nah, you got here first, besides, I'm more of a lone wolf type of guy." He smiled his full lips pulling back to reveal perfectly strait teeth. The only thing unharmed by Marks abusive father had been his teeth which his parents had spent a small fortune to straiten. He was proud of them and the snake bites poking through his pale skin only drew one's attention to his beauty. Mark couldn't help but to smirk at the pink bedspread that read princess in glittery silver on Justin's bed. It was excessively girly and somehow it was comforting to Mark. He hadn't known what he would have wanted Justin to be like but this was perfect. Mark flushed as Justin caught him looking over his things. Justin giggled happily, there was no other word for the sound than giggle. Mark pushed back his strong black coffee colored hair before setting down the rest of his pitiful amount of belongings. He returned to making his bed. Mark had a red sheet and a black comforter with one pillow in a white case. It had been all he could find to fit the extra long twin beds. Mark squirmed a little in the silence and decided to try and make conversation. "So what major are you?" Mark asked not liking how lame it sounded. "psychology" Justin exclaimed. Mark waited for him to say something like "only the best major ever!" but he didn't. "And you are a biology major, I stalked your student profile." Justin kicked his feet a little. "how'd you get that?" He asked pointing to a long scar running across Marks delicate throat. Mark swallowed and Justin took the hint smiling instead. His face lit up "I love your tattoo!" He squealed. Mark's discomfort about being asked about the scars melted. "which one I'm covered in em." He spun a little tempted to lift his shirt for the little pixi. Justin pointed excitedly to a shattered padlock and chain on Mark's wrist. The chain appeared to have been shattered by a tiny butterfly. "what does it mean?" He asked touching the links. Mark got a few goose bumps up his skin. Normally he didn't allow strangers to man handle him like that but he had to live with Justin. "it's the day I saved enough money to come here. Breaking free of my own mental prison. It's a reference to Papillion." He blushed a little most people thought it was stupid. Justin nodded dropping the taller man's arm. "it's cool, I like it. I think you should have saved it till graduation but I like it." Mark smirked for most people hell and prison were being in school, for Mark however his chance at becoming a doctor and helping people was being set free. College was something he wanted his entire life and here he was being given that chance. Mark wouldn't do anything to mess that up and compromise his dream. Justin teetered on the balls of his feet, hands fastened firmly behind his back "Sooo since I was stalking your profile I also know you are 22?"Justin asked happily. Mark nodded in confirmation. "I just so happen to have bought a fake ID and I was wondering..." Justin bit his lip taking one of his glittery spider bites into his mouth. He seemed to suck on the ball as a small child might suck on his thumb before asking an adult something difficult. Mark had thought Justin was going to ask him to buy him beer so being told the little pixi freshman already had his own way of getting alcohol he was a little perplexed. Mark turned around arching a dark eyebrow "yeah?" He asked wanting Justin to just spit it out already. Justin smiled happily "well, I know it's a Monday so clubbing would be no fun but I am dying to see if my fake ID will really work. Mind going to a bar with me to test that theory?" He asked giving Mark his best innocent smile that bent most men to his will. Mark flicked his tongue ring in thought "yeah, sure I guess..." Mark didn't see anyway this could possibly get him into trouble and he trusted Justin enough to have his back and not do anything stupid. Plus maybe a drink or too would do him some good. Justin had said just a bar, not a club. "Yay!" Justin grabbed Marks hand and pulled him out of the door not giving him even a breath to rethink his choice. Justin thought about how cold Mark's fingers felt in his tiny hand and he was hoping maybe Mark would atleast have a good time. Poor thing didn't look up for a club. Of course Mark was just the buddy system incase something went wrong in a new city. Justin wasn't familiar with the city just yet and he was hoping since Mark was only an hour or three from home he would know the area better. Justin was of course wrong in assuming this. Mark and him drove around town for what seemed like hours. Mark wasn't sure what type of place Justin was looking for and every time he saw a club Justin shook his head. To Marks amusement Justin had spent the car ride over putting on make up and tossing a blue sparkly bow in his hair to match his icy blue contacts. At first glance Justin looked like a twelve year old girl but upon closer inspection one noticed he was more so a little teen biting the heads off of Barbies because how dare they always wind up with the dream car, the dream house and to much Justin's disgust Ken. Justin was sweeping some glittering pink gloss across his lips "I had them you know, GI Joe I mean." He giggled a little making a kissing sound at the mirror before fishing around for some mascara "but mom let me choose my own toys so I also had Ken." He looked over at Mark hoping talking about his family would get his roommate to open up. When it didn't work he continued. "I guess I always knew I was gay, I mean GI Joe always wound up with Ken in the end of my stories. How about you when did you know." Mark swallowed remembering Noah, his first real crush and boyfriend. It was yet another painful memory but Mark swallowed. "I was five and I met Noah, we said we would always be best friends and when we were older we would get married." He shrugged and thought that was more than enough. He didn't have to tell Justin about the incident or the scar or Noah. He didn't owe him that. Justin nodded seeming to sense this was all he was getting but it was better than nothing. "stop!" Justin yelped seeing a glittery building. "Gold?" He asked curiously smiling in disbelief "god it's so tacky we have to go here!" Mark wrinkled his nose but parked the car as Justin had asked. Smoke engulfed his lungs in the dimly lit bar. It looked like a gay friendly biker bar. The waitresses and waiters were all constricted by gaudy gold clothing. Clearly this was not a place where the young college crowd hung out and Mark shrank away from Justin who had quickly drawn the attention of probably all four of the gay males in the entire smoke infested building. He flopped down at a bar stool and curiously watched the man beside him toy with a gold hoop as if the hoop would some how make the tears stop. Everything in Mark screamed at him that this guy was trouble. For some reason or another Mark just couldn't bring himself to leave the guy. He looked as if all the hope in the world had been sucked out by that tiny gold ring. Mark waved at the bartender and ordered a shot of jack. He was trying to figure out the best way to talk to the guy. Maddox Cotedivoux was sitting at a bar already three shots of tequila in. His strong graceful fingers toying with a gold wedding band. His eyes a sea of sorrow sent waves of tears every now and then when he thought of a past happy memory with Trissta. Maddox and Trissta had been married for three years when Trissta had come to the realization she no longer believed in love and that one night drunken stands were more her thing. "You know what the sad thing is Maddox? You had all this and didn't even enjoy it!" Trissta spat as the door slammed in Maddox face. Maddox remembered how she had been wearing a skin tight red leather dress that day. Her hair ahd been long and her face even though it was dotted with warm sun kissed freckles was unforgiving. Men would often drool over Maddox's wife. She was well built and what god hadn't given her naturally Maddox had paid to give her to make her happy. Her naturally blonde hair was marred by the harsh solon bleach and she had French tipped daggers for nails. Maddox couldn't think of a single good reason why she had left. He had been nothing but nice to Trissta giving her everything she wanted. Including moving out when he was told. He just couldn't understand where their marriage had gone so hopelessly wrong. It was true the sex had never been mind blowing like he had hoped. It wasn't for lack of trying maybe Maddox just wasn't a good lover. He knew Trissta was beautiful, and yet he still just couldn't get that raw sexual desire he had heard so many of his co-workers talking about. Maddox had never felt like he needed Trissta had never been so desperate to have sex with her that he was ready to explode when she walked in the door. No Maddox had needed coaxing and patience things that Trissta would never be capable of. Maddox thought back to their wedding day and to how even his best man Todd had looked at him with an expression that was pity. Todd had hated Trissta from day one. She had walked into Maddox's life and started shouting orders. True to his submissive nature and being told the girl was beautiful and sweet when she put on an act had convinced Maddox he was in a healthy relationship. Trissta and girls like Trissta were all he had ever known. Maddox wanted her back, maybe not because he loved her or even because he thought she was as good as he could get. No Maddox needed Trissta back because without her his life was so uncertain. Maddox crossed his arms and sobbed again over his failed marriage. The fiery scent of cinnamon invaded his nostril as the bar stool next to him creaked. Maddox looked over at the guy who was now seated beside him. If this wasn't adding insult to injury he honestly didn't know what was. The guy was beautiful and probably had no problem keeping a woman. A small shuddering squeak escaped the larger man as he shoved the ring in his pocket and angrily brushed away tears. It made him even angrier that he was blushing in more places than just his face. The ring felt heavy in his pocket and Maddox felt foolish sitting next to the attractive man who was now tossing his head back to drink another shot. Maddox felt the heat spreading over his high cheek bones down his neck, back, and spine as the heat snaked around his well tuned thighs and into his groin. He bit his tongue trying not to be aroused by the beautiful creature. He was only blushing because this man made him think of everything he wasn't in bed. Not of course because he was actually attracted to the man. The thought that Maddox was attracted more to the men in his life than to the woman never honestly crossed his mind. "hey" He almost whispered unsure of his own voice. God he sounded so stupid and pathetic. Then again Trissta was gone and he was allowed to be pathetic due to the fact the world as he knew it no longer existed. Mark looked The guy over, clearly when he wasn't a sobbing mess the man was gorgeous. He looked large but not in that typical meet head sort of way. He noticed Maddox had that skin that was naturally a shade tanner than most people. He noticed the cut line on the guy's bicep and his mind shifted to touching him there. Mark was day dreaming about where else the guy was ripped. He was wearing a simple band shirt and some faded Levi jeans. Nothing overly special or flashy about the clothing. Just pure honesty. He noticed those wide blue eyes so beautiful and full of pain. It broke his heart almost and Mark couldn't help but to feel responsible for cheering the poor guy up. "hey, I'm Mark. I was wondering if you wanted to uhhh..." Mark trailed off looking around the room. He happened to notice a pool table. "wanted to play pool?" He asked hoping he wasn't embarrassing himself too badly. Mark couldn't hope but silently pray this sexy man would let himself be swept off his feet by Mark. "yeah, Yeah pool sounds great." Maddox actually smiled a small smile. Then it struck him "I uh don't know how." He said softly his heart sank. Maddox wanted nothing more than for this guy to be impressed by him and now he had to turn down the offer. "so..." He looked about ready to fall apart thinking of how Trissta would have rolled her eyes and left him to his misery while she went off and had a good time. He remembered how jealous he was of her watching her do things with other guys. She was never sensitive to when he was shy or unsure and when Maddox wouldn't give her what she wanted she found it elsewhere. Mark smiled "it's alright I'll teach you then" the poor guy's face lit up and Mark almost felt guilty of thinking how close bending him over a pool table would bring them. It wasn't entirely a plan to get the man into a compromising position, but that was definitely a perk. Mark downed another shot or liquid confidence "I'm Mark by the way." He smiled offering a friendly hand. Maddox sniffled like an over grown child and shook his hand. "Maddox." He smiled a little thinking how wonderfully perfect Mark sounded. Mark grabbed Maddox's hand he felt a spark between them. He smiled maybe college wouldn't be so bad after all. Mark had worked so hard to get to this point it was about time he was tossed some form of reward. Even if he did have to pick up Maddox's broken pieces, whatever those pieces may be. Maddox felt the spark jump from Mark's hand into his own sending a wave of pleasure over his entire body. It had to be the alcohol and yet Maddox couldn't help but be attracted to the younger guy. This was the first time that the idea of possibly being something other than strait entered Maddox's mind. He had always been raised in a loving house hold and he knew that his parents would love him either way but honestly it had just never come up. Maddox had always been told that no matter what his family would love him. They were very close. Maddox had four siblings, two older brothers one of them a twin to an older sister and a younger sister. His mother had always told him it didn't matter what he was attracted to and his father seemed to agree. Maddox was one of the lucky ones with a family that would love him despite his flaws. Truthfully it didn't seem to make sense that Maddox had never suspected his sexuality might not be strait. It was mostly due to the fact that most men thought he looked too strong and too strait. No one had been brave enough to take charge and force him to think of these things. That is until Mark walked through the door of Gold. Maddox smiled happily he was more than willing to try and figure out his sexuality, for this guy anyway. He couldn't help the blush that stained his half French half Italian cheeks. Everything about Mark made him feel safe and happy and he wanted to be held onto by the other man. He wanted to cradle Mark like a much needed security blanket. Mark picked up two pool sticks and handed one to Maddox gathering the balls in a triangular plastic piece. He enjoyed the familiar feel of the stick in his hands. He looked over the vast amounts of green felt covered table and dirty images of Maddox leaned over it slid through his mind. AU Ch. 01 Mark wondered how best to go about getting the slightly taller man into position. He was happy the table was cloaked in the shadow of a corner and no one would make any lewd comments to scare the guy off. He smiled and took Maddox's arm he felt himself stiffen a little in response to how firm the guy was. His groin sure as hell appreciated the definition. Maddox had to work out and Mark couldn't help but wonder what the rest of his body looked like. Mark loved being on top in his sexual relationships but he was of the notion that he was gay because he wanted to top a man, a real man. A man like Maddox built like the faceless man of his dreams. He removed the triangle and bent over the table holding the pool cue. "now you want to try and rest it between your fingers and use you dominant eye to aim." Mark explained resting the wooden cue between his thumb and index finger. It felt familiar to him and Mark smiled a little happy this guy was letting him lead. "and then you shoot" Mark said with a shrug and Mark hit the white ball sending it into the organized cluster causing chaos amongst the balls as a solid red one went into a pocket. "you hit the white ball and try to make it hit other balls. I hit a solid so you are stripes." Maddox unapologetically checked Mark out as he was bent over the table. He couldn't help but notice he was rather skinny and Maddox wondered if maybe Mark would let him make him dinner sometime. He blushed again something he was doing a lot in this man's presence and tried to listen to him talk. Maddox just couldn't help but fixate on his new friends body. He wasn't terribly surprised that he might be attracted to him and with the alcohol running through his veins much of his closed off thinking didn't seem to surface. That was when Mark looked over his shoulder to see if Maddox had got it and his eyes quickly darted away meeting the man's gaze. Somehow he knew Mark was gay he couldn't put his finger on how and he wondered if maybe this was his gaydar. The idea thrilled him for a moment. Maybe it was the fact that he was so attracted by the guy, or maybe he just on some level had noticed the shirt. He watched color tarnish Mark's perfect skin and found it oddly endearing. This man was driving him wild and all he was doing was teaching him pool. Mark took Maddox's arm and positioned him over the table lining him up with the ball. He could smell his forest clean scent and tequila swirl up his nostrils and the aroma left him dizzy. Mark positioned himself behind Maddox and felt his cock stiffen in anticipation from the seemingly innocent lesson. "so you um hold it like this and..." Mark moved Maddox's arms and the combined movement hit the white ball in the direction of a striped yellow orb which landed in a pocket with a happy thud. Mark's heart was slamming around inside of him and as Maddox turned his head to ask for Mark's approval Mark couldn't help but to gaze into the guy's wonderful blue eyes. He saw a sort of longing curiosity behind those wonderful blue eyes and for a moment their breath just danced in the air. Maddox looked up at Mark's green eyes and he felt as if his world had been turned right side up after it being so upside down with Trissta. He stopped thinking of everything his entire life had been about up to this point and just went with what he was feeling. Trissta leaving had given Maddox the chance to find himself and to find true actual love. Love with another man hell maybe even love with this man. Mark couldn't keep his lips to himself anymore and he met Maddox's mouth with his own. He felt the man wrapped in his arms under the pretence of being taught pool jolt in surprise and stiffen for a fraction of a second. Mark was just starting to form the feeling of regret and fear when he found Maddox's lips respond under his kissing back shyly as if completely unsure how kissing was done. Mark shifted and took the pool cue from the other man's hands and placed it along side his own on the green felt of the pool table. He turned Maddox to face him and caressed his face gently pushing some hair back. Maddox had to stop the childish whine that was about to escape his lips. He didn't want Mark to stop he wanted to keep going. Maddox felt dizzy as his heart frantically pumped blood to everywhere in his body but his brain and in a foggy haze Maddox realized his erection was pushing painfully against his jeans. Something it had never done for Trissta no matter what she did and now all it took was a kiss. Maddox was desperate to find out what this feeling meant and he didn't want any other teacher than Mark. Mark knew his cock outline was clearly visible in his jeans and he was going to try and conceal that and continue with the lesson until he saw the pure lust in his student's eyes. His mind started to skip as their bodies pressed closer together and their shafts received some much needed friction. Mark shivered at hearing the man beneath him moan and he wrapped his arms around him kissing him again. Mark ran his tongue across the bottom lip of the other man. He felt Maddox open his mouth and Mark slid his tongue inside massaging Maddox's tongue with his own pleased he had been able to make the other man forget whatever it was that was bothering him. In his slightly intoxicated state Mark translated comforting the man and making him happy with giving him pleasure as well and he began to think about where to take him. Mark laced his fingers with Maddox's and saw the disappointment on the other man's face when he pulled away. He laughed a little enjoying how wonderfully easy and responsive Maddox was to him "come on handsome." He purred leading Maddox across the floor to the bathroom. Maddox followed happily. It made him feel warm all over when Mark called him handsome. Maddox wanted Mark's body back on him. It had been difficult not to instinctively push back into Mark. He had wanted it to continue but Mark had called him handsome and Maddox was irrecoverably under this man's spell. He was shaking with nerves and desire as he followed Mark. He wasn't sure where he was being lead but Maddox knew no matter where Mark wanted to take him or what door he wanted to open Maddox would follow willingly. He saw the bathroom come into view and his small neat freak side made his nose scrunch up thinking about the germs that must certainly be in there. To Maddox's obvious surprise the bathroom was relatively clean and the smell of bleach singed his nostrils. All thoughts of anything gross suddenly failed him when he felt Mark's hands around his waist his thumbs tucked into the hem of his jeans resting right above where his muscular back protruded into his buttocks. Maddox arched into Mark without thinking and whimpered softly voicing his desire for the hands to go lower. God he wanted nothing but those hand on him for the rest of his life. Mark smiled and resumed kissing Maddox damn this man was driving him crazy. Moving so fast was really not his style but the man was acting as though he had never been touched before and it was all Mark could do to not take him hard and fast right there in the bathroom for anyone to walk in on. Mark's lips crashed into Maddox's again this time portraying his sexually aggressive side. Maddox felt his back being pushed against the cold tile and he shivered at the excitement of letting Mark have complete control over his body. He pushed back a little liking the pressure against the wall. Maddox had never really thought about how men got together but his insides seemed to ache for Mark and his seven and a half inch cut shaft was fully erect now. He could feel Maddox's lovely ass arch into his hands and he wanted to give in and give the man what he wanted. Mark's hand slid down into Maddox's pants and he grunted a little in frustration at the lack of movement the fastened clothing allowed. He wanted to feel Maddox's ass inside and out but he decided for now that would wait. Mark reached around to the front and unfastened his student's pants sliding the zipper down. That sound that only a zipper makes echoed off the walls and Mark froze looking to see if maybe he should stop. Those damned blue eyes reflected a pleading need for him to continue and Mark threw all care to the wind and touched the man solid shaft. As soon as those lovely fingers touched him Maddox moaned happily. He looked at Mark and wanted to touch him back. "can I?" He asked blushing and jerking as a warm finger stroked his sensitive underside. Maddox's heart leapt when he was given a smile and a nod. He slowly with shaking hands began to undo Mark's dark pants. He noticed how the dark of his clothing contrasted with the pale color of the elegant man's skin. He traced the lined of Marks hips touching the piercings there and wondering with fascination what it would be like to have them in his mouth. He seemed to notice all of Mark's extra metal at once and the thought of it all sent intoxicating waves over him as his balls seized up. He pushed the pants down slowly and took in the sight of Mark's beautiful erection and it had never occurred to him that a penis could be beautiful but this one certainly was. His mouth watered hungrily. Timid hands reached out and touched Mark's cock and he watched curiously as Mark licked his own palm and reapplied the twisting spinning motion to Maddox. Mark moaned as unsure hands began to stroke him and he took Maddox's lead and removed the other man's shirt. They were both standing there bare-chested pants pushed down stroking each other into oblivion. Mark let some spit form his own mouth splash onto his cock and he watched Maddox look at it curiously and he seemed elated to play with him more. Maddox was so focused on Mark's needs he almost forgot his own. He didn't realize how loudly he was panting and moaning. The only cock Maddox had ever touched had been his own and hands other than his own and here was some guy he barely knew about to make him explode. "I'm I'm..." He panted not sure how to voice that if Mark didn't stop then his beautiful slender stomach was going to be drenched in Maddox's spunk. Mark moaned loudly hearing Maddox whine and pant was driving him over an edge. His eyes followed every wonderfully sculpted ripple in the guys body. He just couldn't wait to get him into bed and Maddox was definitely going home with his number. Mark smirked feeling his own sac tighten as his cock leaked precum onto the floor. "cum for me baby" Mark commanded and as soon as he felt the first spurt of hot sticky sperm Mark lost his control and sprayed his partner for the moment with his own orgasm. He coated Maddox's hands and chest with it and panted jerking happily in the few final strokes before Maddox released him and sighed surveying the mess. There was cum all over the bathroom and both men. Mark reached out a finger and traced some of Maddox's rock hard abs. "god you are sexy" He panted smiling. Mark reached for a paper towel and rinsed it under the hot water wanting to clean the man off after the mind blowing hand job. He then quickly without so much thought cleaned his chest leaving a little bit of the sticky remains as he pulled his shirt back down. He wanted something of Maddox's to take home. A thought came to him and Mark seized his collar bone sucking on the muscle beneath the bronzed surface. Maddox whimpered happily as a small bruise was left on his skin. He smiled happily. Mark pulled out an ink pen from the back of his pocket and in an attempt to be sexy scrawled his number under his mark. "call me." Maddox nodded happily and pulled Mark into him. Feeling the smaller body smack against his brick chest. "I will Mark, I promise I will." He said sounding like a love sick over sized puppy. He wanted to never let go of this wonderful man who had taught him how to live. Maybe it was the tequila talking but Maddox could not think of anything wrong with his life at the moment. Justin watched Mark walk out of the bathroom and yawned tiredly. He smirked noticing his roommate stumbling a little bit and clearly still basking in a drunk after glow. "alright lover boy" He teased smiling "give me the keys since clearly I am the only one sober and you can tell me all about your wonderful mystery man bathroom session." Justin had only seen the guys bulging bicep as Mark dragged him into the bathroom but with an arm that sexy Justin had to approve. Mark flushed realizing he didn't know much about the man other than his name and what the front half of his body looked like. He was starting to panic a little maybe the guy wouldn't call him. Justin smiled "that good huh? You'll have to introduce me. Those guys I was with were too into the daddy games which I am so not in the mood for tonight." Justin rolled his eyes pulling into campus parking. Marks beat up SUV that he had been living in before school creaked as it was shut off. Justin helped Mark into his room and tucked him into bed. At least someone had had some fun. Maddox managed to call his best friend Todd to come get him. The blonde party boy watched his drunk friend stumble out of the bar with curiosity. "you alright man?" He asked chuckling. Maddox nodded happily "yeah" was all he managed to get out without blushing. Maddox pulled off his shirt grinning like a teenager. "see" He exclaimed displaying the number happily. Todd nodded an arched eyebrow "dude Trissta is gonna eat you alive when you get home with that." He smirked happily having never really liked Trissta. Todd remembered seeing Trissta fuck one of the grooms men right before she walked down the aisle. Todd still wrestled with if he should tell Maddox that. For some reason the poor guy just seemed so lost and confused all of the time. It was clear his friend wasn't happy but no girl seemed to make matters better. Maddox looked like he had been shot "we're getting a divorce" He shivered clinging to his abandoned shirt. He didn't love Trissta hell at this moment he was pretty sure he was gay and it was a true blessing that she was gone. Still he had to move so she could have the house and he might have to get a lawyer if things got ugly. Suddenly the gold ring resting in his pocket felt like a ball and chain. Todd rested a hand on Maddox's shoulder "need to talk about it?" he asked secretly hoping his best friend would decline since Todd wasn't really good with that emotional crap. To Todd's relief Maddox shook his head "I don't wanna ruin this." He slurred motioning to the hicky before crashing against the window. Maddox quickly fell asleep in the moving car with Todd smiling happily. It was about damn time he find a good girl. Some how Todd had managed to get Maddox into the house. He didn't ask any questions about the mystery lady thinking he would hear all about it later. Being a good friend he scrawled the number down on a post it and stuck it to Maddox's dresser mirror incase the ink smudged over night. Thank god that bitch Trissta was out of his life. Todd only hoped Maddox's new girl fixation would treat him better. Mark leapt up the next morning to the sound of his alarm. Justin groaned and Mark quickly turned it off. His head throbbed as he looked at the clock trying to remember how he had gotten into his bead. Mark stumbled out into the hall way shower tote and towel in hand and began to get ready for his 8am chemistry class. Mark brushed his teeth while he let the hot water pelt down on him. He smiled remembering the guy form last night and he wondered what he was doing. The idea of Maddox showering at the same moment he was turned him on. Mark shampooed his hair praying he would get to see Maddox soon. Maddox rolled over and glared at his alarm. If it hadn't been the first day of work he might have just skipped it and sent out an email saying he was sick. Maddox knew that was irresponsible and instead he rolled out of his warm bed stumbling to his shower. He had to be at work at 7am so that he could prepare for the day. Without thinking Maddox turned on the water and squirted some of Trissta's expensive body gel into his hand. He rubbed it all over his body thinking how pissed she would be if she knew he was using her expensive products. Maddox smirked and took the bottle squeezing the contents down the drain. It was childish but as the frothy vanilla scent swirled down the drain he felt better. And then panic seized him. Maddox leapt form the shower sliding on the tiles and looked in the mirror. The number was gone and all he had was a bruise to remind him of the guy from last night. Maddox held his head. The guy form last night. He hadn't even given him his number or told him about the divorce or anything personal. His thoughts swam. The number was gone and it would be all to easy to deny his sexuality and pretend mark had never happened. Maddox realized instantly he could never do that. He remembered Mark being so sweet with him and teaching him to play pool. Teaching... Maddox grumbled realizing he was still needing to deal with work. He drove most of the way to his job thinking about Mark. How could he find him again. If he did manage to find him what would he do? Did this mean Maddox was gay? Maddox quickly pushed these thoughts aside and walked into the building. He headed strait for his office and grabbed two stacks of papers. Maddox glanced at the clock and figured he could be a minute or two late. Besides coffee would really help clear his head so he could lecture without feeling so hung over. Maddox walked into room 213 uncapping a black marker coffee in one hand he began to write DR. Cotedivoux on the board he turned around and his breath caught his heart stopped and the coffee slid from his hands. It smashed against the unforgiving floor showering him in drops of the scalding liquid. It seemed to bounce off his shoes and soaked his khaki dress pants. The coffee had even managed to taint his new collared shirt. Mark walked into his class room fully expecting it to be the worst thing on his schedule. He sat in the big lecture hall of about 100 other people and went three rows up sitting on the outside. The room was big and looked like the stereo typical lecture hall with rising steps and two sides of six rows going up. Mark hated climbing over people to get a good seat. Mark watched the teacher walk in and his entire body went hot then cold as his teacher dropped his coffee all over the floor. For a few agonizing heartbeats he watched the man try and regain some form of composure as he mopped up the mess. Damn those beautiful blue eyes, Mark rushed to Maddox's side and took some paper towels from his teachers hand. Mark felt sick. Why did Maddox also have to be Dr. Cotedivoux, the sexy new chemistry teacher everyone was talking about. His Maddox his puppy dog in need of an alpha was his teacher. AU Ch. 02 Maddox watched Mark's slender fingers drag the paper towels through the coffee puddle. He could have sworn his heart was hammering loud enough for the entire class to hear. The memory of where those wonderful, swan-like hands had been the night before was still too fresh in his mind. Maddox's hands betrayed his nerves to his student. Trying to regain some form of composure, Maddox smiled. "Thank you," he looked up and saw nothing but terror and rage in those wonderfully green eyes. It unnerved him a bit. Last night those eyes had been filled with nothing but concern and lust. Surely he had to be misunderstanding that look. ~*~ Mark nodded, not fully trusting his thoughts to stay behind the confines of his lips should he open his mouth. He took the soggy mass of coffee-sodden paper towels from Maddox's shaking hands. Mark tossed them in the trash and fled back to the safety of his seat. He wanted nothing more than to cradle his teacher in his arms and rake his fingers through Maddox's chocolate colored hair, kiss his forehead, and tell him it was alright. He wanted to be the man Maddox came home to. The man that would be there to let him know everything was alright. More than anything, Mark didn't want to be some faceless boy sitting in the third row of a lecture hall. He didn't want to be the student being taught by the man who he had been praying would call him the day after they had brought each other to orgasmic bliss in the bathroom of some bar. ~*~ Maddox had decided sometime ago, in his own college days, that he wasn't going to be one of those boring chemistry teachers who had taught him. The ones that were so wrapped up in their studies that they had little enthusiasm for everything from life to the periodic table. This was Maddox's passion and he was determined to make it work even if the first day wasn't a good one. He took a deep breath in through his nose and out through his mouth, desperate to make his first lecture captivating; in spite of the sticky drops of drying coffee that were making his clothes adhere to his flesh. "Good morning everyone! I hope you all are having a better first day then I am," He laughed a little, "Oh, come on guys, sitting in chemistry class can't be as bad as spilling hot coffee on yourself the first day at your new job is it?" Maddox relaxed a little when his attempted at humor was rewarded with a few chuckles. Maybe everything would work out after all. "It's a great day for chemistry! I am Dr. Cotedivoux, but I also respond to 'Hey you', if it is too much of a mouthful. This is Chemisrty107 or Entry Level chem for science majors; I hope you all are in the right place. Now my syllabus is on the Gwynned Wood University site..." ~*~ Mark had seated himself next to a peppy looking blond girl. He was watching Maddox scrawl his name on the white board in black marker. As his teacher began to explain how the Gwynned Wood University site worked Mark started to zone out. He was fantasizing about his teacher, mindlessly doodling Maddox's name on the first page of his chemistry notebook. Mark watched the lined paper draw the ink out of his fountain pen as he darkened the loops and started to draw tiny hearts. "That Maddox must be a lucky man," The girl next to him whispered making Mark jump out of his skin. Honestly, he had been too busy gazing longingly at Maddox to notice no one seemed to be listening to him anymore. His eyes darted to the front of the room feeling guilty for not paying attention. He noticed most of the students were looking disinterestedly at their blank or doodle littered notebooks. A few even seemed to have their heads down in an attempt to sleep off the lesson. The blonde looked the same way and practically glowed, "God he is so hot! I swear I might change my major for him," she said putting her pencil on her mouth nibbling on it slightly as if deep in thought. "He's so goofy though," Mark saw the dreamy far off look in the girls blue eyes. "I'm Cassie by the way." Mark looked over at her, disgusted. How dare she talk about his Maddox that way. Mark almost growled at her but Cassie didn't seem to notice "I think he's gay though." Cassie sighed heavily announcing her disappointment. She surveyed Mark's face and saw him flush and shiver. A well groomed eye brow arched for a moment wondering if her desk mate knew something she didn't. "W-what makes you say that?" He gulped. Cassie's face lit up "So it speaks," She whispered, making sure no one was looking. "I can just tell." She tapped a pink polished nail to her temple. "I have a good sense about people. I'm a creative writing major." She smiled looking at Mark as his eyebrows seemed to ask the question she wanted him to ask. "So what am I doing in here, right?" Mark nodded, "Yeah I mean, god I hate chemistry. I'm Mark by the way." He smiled. Clearly Cassie didn't seem to be much of a threat. Not that that really mattered at this point. Maddox was off limits, wasn't he? After all Mark was sure there had to be some sort of policy saying students couldn't date their teachers. He doubted Maddox would risk his job for him and he sure as hell wasn't risking his future for some one night stand pretty boy. hero in a poem. "So I take these classes to meet people and come up with lives for them. They all become characters at some point." Mark tried not to laugh. He accepted the distraction. Cassie smiled and sighed in the way only a true southern woman can before she opens her mouth to tell you an unnaturally long story. "Well being in the writing department helps me prefect my talent, but it doesn't really give me much writing material, now does it?" She giggled, scrawling something down in her note book. No one else seemed to notice the exciting story time. Not that Dr. Cotedivoux was any more captivating. He almost felt sorry for his teacher. . "Yeah?" Cassie nodded. "You see that boy down there? The one with the red hair?" Mark nodded, "Yeah, what about him?" Cassie smiled. "Well his name is Andrew Long and he is here only because he wants to win the heart of the love of his life." Cassie pointed her pink pencil at a girl with toffee colored skin and big brown eyes. "That's Mallory, the girl he is in love with. Only, she doesn't know he even exists. She looks innocent, doesn't she?" Mark nodded. His eyebrows were knitted together trying to understand where Cassie was getting this from. He knew it was all pretend but he would never have thought of this. The girl looked doe eyed and innocent. The type of girl who would always wear a sweater, who went to church and who made cookies for whoever was having an off day. Cassie took his nod as an invitation to continue, "She isn't though. She finds rich men and she seduces them. Eventually she convinces them to marry her. On their honeymoon they go on a cruise and then, one night she takes them to the balcony and just..." Cassie made a pushing motion. Mark's eyes widened. "Hasn't she gotten caught yet?" It was amusing to play along with the infectious Cassie. Listening to her stories meant that he didn't have to think about his own. Mark was dreading the time when he would be alone with his thoughts. He knew who would monopolize his day dreaming for a long time to come. Cassie smiled, at his interest in her story, "Yes and that is the problem. Poor Mallory doesn't realize Andrew has his share of secrets. One is that he is the undercover cop who is investigating the string of murders!" Her eyes widened, conveying the horror stories the murders must be. Mark laughed a little. "That's pretty creative." Cassie smiled and looked up. Most of the class had started to collect their things. Mark looked down at Maddox. Clearly his first lecture had not gone as planned, the man looked visibly distressed. "Guess I'll see you around." "Sure, some one has to help me keep an eye on these crazies," Cassie nodded with a grin. "Without you here to make sure I take some sort of notes I'm likely to fail." Cassie walked behind her new friend. He seemed to be in such a hurry to leave the room. Probably to get back to his boyfriend she thought. "What a lucky man, indeed." She huffed looking at Mark's slender form moving away from her. ~*~ Maddox turned around from time to time watching his Mark talk to some girl. God, she looked so much like Trissta it was terrifying. Maybe it was just because Trissta was heavy on his mind but Maddox couldn't help the tiny pain going through his heart like shattered glass. Every time he turned around that damn bitch had all of Mark's attention. God, he was even laughing! Maddox found it getting increasingly difficult to teach. All he wanted was to dismiss class so he could talk to Mark. Then he saw Mark turn and look at him, holding his gaze for a fraction of a second. His heart stopped and he stuttered a little. Like an animal on a dissecting table for all to see Maddox smiled. In just that moment he knew Mark couldn't possibly hate him, not when he gazed at him like that. Maddox almost lost track of his speech about Good Monarch King Henry. It felt like a childish nursery rhyme to him now, though the acronym still helped him with conversion factors to this day. He wondered if Mark thought he was a nerd and it had killed what little, if any feelings Mark had for him. He smiled; no Mark was just being polite he would see after class. Mark would come talk to him and they could work things out. Maddox's true glass-is-half-full mentality was showing through. He innocently believed the hero always got the girl in the end. Maddox firmly believed in all of this until he dismissed class. He watched open mouthed as Mark left without even so much as a parting glance or a wave. Maddox had never been the overly jealous type and he didn't really think he was jealous now, he was just surprised is all. He hadn't been expecting Mark to run into his arms and have a repeat of last night, but he didn't think Mark would have just acted like he didn't exist, either. He bit his bottom lip hard, trying to clear his head. He was willing himself to move. Maddox didn't know if it was better or worse that Mark had been flirting with a girl. If you could even call it flirting. Still clinging to some hope Maddox, reasoned that Mark had just been talking. There was no reason to think Mark would hurt him like that. The love bruise from last night was proof that it had not just been sexual sparks between them. He exhaled and inhaled slowly, trying to feel the relief that would never come. ~*~ Mark felt guilty leaving Maddox alone and rushing out the door. He had seen the confusion and the hurt but there was nothing he could do. Maddox was his teacher and not worth his dreams. Mark kicked himself the whole way back to his dorm. The man was perfect, however it was only a matter of time before he found someone to replace Mark with. Mark dashed up the four flights of stairs and flopped down on his bed. Justin rolled over and blinked at him. Clearly he hadn't had a morning class. The small blond yawned like a true diva and stretched out his small frame. "How was class?" Mark groaned, "God, I hate chemistry." Justin wrinkled his nose, "Sounds yucky, anyway how was he?" Justin's face lit up. "I heard he was like, Greek sex god, drool worthy. "Yeah, he's hot. Doesn't change the fact he is off limits," Mark said. "So what!" Justin laughed, "We can still drool. Tell me more!" Mark shook his head "I need a shower." Justin giggled a little, "That hot, huh? Make sure it's really icy! God, I swear you have all the luck! First mister hottie from the bar and now you have eye candy in class. " Mark didn't answer., Instead he took his shower stuff out of the room to the community bathroom. God, what had gotten in to him? Maddox was just some guy. That's it, nothing special. Just flesh, bone, and muscle., Perfectly sculpted, tanned, rippling, sex god muscle. Mark twisted the faucet turning on a mixture of cold and hot water, more cold than hot. He was not looking forward to stepping in but knew the chill would clear his head. Honestly, why was he coming so undone? Sure they guy was beautiful, but that didn't mean he was a good person. Maddox could be some ass hole just trying to use him and get a quick fuck. Mark figured that settled it, people as good looking as Maddox Cotedivoux were always ass holes. It was a curse, he couldn't blame the guy. When you were that good looking people just always were willing to do what you wanted. Maddox probably had people begging to open doors for him. As good looking as he was, any gay man would be elated to have him. Certainly there was no shortage of men willing to get hot and sweaty between the bed sheets with the sexy teacher. Mark just couldn't be one of those guys, no matter how badly they both wanted it. Mark, well Mark was damaged goods. He preferred being the top in a relationship and that required having certain things. He didn't have the money to take Maddox out, or nice clothes. Maddox was probably used to men who were mind blowing in bed, not someone like Mark who had so much emotional baggage that he was certain Maddox would take one look and run. Besides all that, Mark wasn't interested in dating anyway., He had school to worry about. Mark stepped under the cold water, feeling his flesh revolt and protest as he gave a small shuddered. At least it fixed his erection problem. He turned the water more to the warm side and gave a soft moan of pleasure. Mark squirted some vanilla scented shampoo into the palm of his hand. He cursed himself for being so stupid. If he hadn't had such a bleeding heart then none of this would have happened. Mark could have gone to Gold, like any normal twenty-something, had a few drinks, and went home. Why did he have to want to help so much, anyway? He shouldn't care about people as much as he did. Last night Mark had just been stupid., He had seen Maddox crying and, like a love sick puppy, had run to his side. Mark ran his fingers in tiny circles through his dark tresses. The warm scent of vanilla sugar swirled up his nose, aided by the steam. It was comforting to him and Mark decided to just enjoy himself. He had the community bathroom to himself and could stay under the warm rain all he wanted. The shower had been the perfect solution. Hell, Mark wasn't even thinking of Maddox anymore. No, he wasn't thinking of his wonderful, dark, edgy hair. What it would feel like to run his fingers through it with shampoo. He wasn't thinking of looking up into those beautiful blue eyes as he washed every inch of him. Mark surely wasn't thinking of the way his teacher's nose had a small dent in it where it had likely been broken, or his strong jaw set. Furious with himself and all the things he truthfully was consumed with thinking about, he rinsed off and turned off the water. A perfect shower ruined by one stupid drunken act. Mark was kicking himself for being one of those all-too-willing people to help a man with a pretty face. He watched the froth swirl down the drain, thinking it might give him some answers. He snorted in disgust and wrapped his blue and green beach towel around his slender middle. The towel hung low on his hips and covered all the important things. He tossed the shampoo back into his black shower basket. There were so many different soaps, lotions and shaving creams and he hadn't been able to enjoy any of them. Mark stepped from the shower, taking his basket with him, and retreated back to his small shared room. To Mark's relief Justin must have been in class. He was going to get dressed and just head right out the door to zoology when he noticed he had two hours to kill. Mark flicked his tongue ring against his teeth. He really should have planned this out better. Now he had all this time alone with his lusty thoughts. Something he was certain no good would come of. Mark wondered if there was really anything he could do to take up so much time and he decided to try and mentally reason himself out of his... crush on the teacher. If he could convince himself that Maddox had just been some fluke then all his problems would be solved. It was worth a shot, what the hell else was he supposed to do for two hours? He groaned and pulled on a pair of worn Levis, not his typical choice in pants but he wasn't in the mood for all the extra fabric and chains his typical wardrobe possessed. Mark looked at the scars that spider webbed across his ribcage. It was as if his own body had been trying to escape him once upon a time. He grimaced as he pushed back the urge to add to them, remembering how ugly they made him look, how weak. He pulled on a Between the Buried and Me T-shirt satisfied his secrets were now hidden once more. Mark laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. It was a technique that often soothed his anxiety. He had long suffered from anxiety attacks and he knew the best way to deal with something was to allow himself an hour or so to obsess and get it out of his system. Once he thought about something long enough and convinced himself he either had the solution or was off with the fact that he couldn't do anything about it, his anxiety seemed to fade. This, he thought, was exactly how he needed to treat his Maddox problem. Because his thoughts about the off-limits teacher were just that, a problem he needed to rectify sooner rather than later. Mark flopped onto his bed thinking of Maddox. He thought of the tiny scar that marred his otherwise perfect left eyebrow. Traveling down from there Mark remembered his eyes. They were almost the color of all those awful decorations one might see at a baby shower indicating a boy. He was startled to remember the two tiny flecks of green in the left one. Mark bit his lip, knowing he had to get those eyes out of his head. He inhaled slowly and decided instead to think of Maddox's character flaws since thinking about his face was doing nothing but turning him on. He took a deep breath and started over, his thoughts started off innocent enough. He was thinking about how much older Maddox was though, truthfully, he didn't know. He knew Maddox either looked young for his age, or else he was younger than Mark always pictured his teachers being. He was sure things couldn't work out between them in the long run. Maddox was probably some alcoholic party boy, ready to jump into bed with whoever offered. Mark started to think of how responsive and easy his teacher had been in that bar. He felt his traitorous cock harden with heat and lust as he thought about that night. It was voicing the desire to once again have those strong hands choking it into oblivion. He remembered every inch of Maddox's shaft slipping between his fingers. Mark unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, if only to relieve some of the pressure on his groin. He wasn't doing it to give himself easier access or anything. He remembered the large defined mushroom and the wonderful slit that had christened Mark's stomach with Maddox's climax. Mark almost startled when he felt a hand slip under his boxers and touch his own throbbing, leaking head. He relaxed, realizing it was his own. This was good, one good time thinking about Maddox and then it would be out of his system. All he needed was to climax once and realize what a complete jerk his teacher was. Hell, he hadn't even called him yet. Mark brought his hand to his mouth and used his own salvia as lubricant. He began to apply pressure to his shaft; moving his spit-slicked hands up and down the eight inches. Mark still had some difficulty getting his hand to close around his thick girth. He slowly began to massage the underside of his shaft with his warm, wet thumb. He fondled the small bundle of nerves. Each stroke made him moan as his leg twitched wildly. With his right hand, Mark reached for a pillow and began to bite down. Writhing in self inflicted bliss, he pretended Maddox was the cause of it. AU Ch. 02 He imagined Maddox's sweet, pouty lips encasing his cock. He used his thumb and fantasized it was Maddox's skilled tongue, already so attuned to all his pleasure spots. Mark had almost tricked himself into feeling the hot breath of his teacher dance across the part of his stomach that rarely was spoiled by sunlight. He felt Maddox's dark hair drag across his thighs and it sent a shiver all over his spine. He was panting, feeling his sack tighten and his balls pull up into his body. He began to move his hips a little before he was lost in pleasure, thinking of Maddox. God, what he wouldn't give to be inside that responsive man right now. He imagined what Maddox would be like between the sheets. Probably a bit of a slut, Mark imagined, he would be skilled and know just how to clench his muscles to milk Mark inside of him. He thought about the strong etching of Maddox's chiseled back as he bent him over in an almost A frame position. He could feel the velvety warmth of Maddox's insides and in that instant he was gone. Mark gave one loud, shuddering moan into his fist as he clenched and then released in a series of waves. Drops of warm spunk rained onto Mark's slender body, as he lazily rubbed the last of his orgasm out. His jaw was sore and his legs felt shaky. Mark was almost surprised that just thinking of his teacher had caused such a powerful orgasm. At least now Maddox was out of his system. Mark picked up a wad of tissues and began to clean his chest. He could only imagine what it would be like to hold Maddox in the bliss of their afterglow. He longed to know the feeling of running his fingers through that mane of sinfully black hair as he gazed into those pools he called eyes. Usually his palm time ended with him instantly wanting to clean up and get on with the day. Instead, Mark lay there, just enjoying the after quivers of solo sex. He even went so far as to cradle his only pillow. He felt the need to just take a nap and dream, but the nagging reality soon set in. The inspiration for his solo act was meant to get his teacher out of his system not cause him to fall into even further addiction. "Damn it," Mark huffed under his breath. He knew he was hooked, regardless of his efforts to keep him out. Maddox had gotten in somehow, had gotten past those walls and Mark needed him like fire needed oxygen. He let out a soft groan of disdain, realizing the walls he built up had tumbled far too easily. Mark had honestly thought it would have taken a small army for him to even begin to think about a relationship. Now here he was having a solo cuddle session daydreaming like some thirteen year old school boy. Mark exhaled defeated, as he grabbed his laptop. How bad would it really be if he and Maddox got involved? Mark was grasping for something, anything to make this situation better. He slowly typed "student and teacher romantic relationships" into the Google search bar. To his disappointment, nothing looked positive. He saw advice columnists telling parents how to look out for warning signs so that their youngsters wouldn't be taken advantage of. He laughed. Even if he was being taken advantage of it wasn't like his parents would honestly give a shit. The next site looked even less positive. It was a plain white site talking about state laws on teacher student relationships. Mark was honestly a little startled that in Illinois it was considered illegal. Sure he could see why some people would complain but, was having a relationship with his teacher when they were both consenting adults really so terrible? From the looks of this site it was worse to be with Maddox because he was a teacher than it was to be with him because he was gay. Mark didn't know why this startled him so much and he wondered why the idea seemed so wrong and taboo to so many. Heck, if Maddox was his gay second cousin it was still better than being his teacher. He was starting to fast loose his courage to admit his feelings for the man as he typed in Gwynned Wood University Student code. He read and reread the dooming line. If a student and teacher were caught having an inappropriate relationship the teacher would be fired and the student expelled. This was to preserve the value of the degree so that no one could accuse a teacher of passing a student for giving out favors. He swallowed, feeling cold. Expelled? If he was expelled it was unlikely any university would be willing to take him in. Without a university his chances at med school and helping people wilted. Mark even thought of his teacher. He wanted to smile at how happily Maddox seemed to fill to role of educator but his brain wouldn't allow him. Maddox loved teaching even a blind airhead could see that. It was his dream, his passion and being with Mark put not only Mark's dreams up on the chopping block but Maddox's as well. Mark closed his laptop and pulled on white socks and worn converse shoes. He decided to just ignore the man. He probably already knew it wouldn't work and wouldn't call. Mark would just have to get through this semester and then avoid Dr. Cotedivoux at all costs. There were so many other chemistry teachers he could be taught by. ~*~ Maddox spent the rest of the day in a blur. He had been given only one upper level class to teach and no one in the room had seemed over enthusiastic about things. He noticed all had opened up their notebooks and had dutifully opened their textbooks to the chapter their teacher was lecturing about. He wanted to give them his undivided attention and yet, a certain freshman kept invading his thoughts. He couldn't help but wonder about Mark, and how he left so suddenly. Maybe he just had to hurry to the next class. He must have had one scheduled right after his and hadn't meant anything personal by his sudden exit. That had to be it. Mark wouldn't just abandon him like that, would he? Maddox was starting to question himself and he wondered if his actions last night had made him a slut. This entire world was new to him. He had mostly been obsessing over why Mark had left so early after class. Maddox wasn't too startled by the fact that he was curious. He wouldn't admit to being gay just yet, but he would admit he was dying to get more of a taste of Mark. This was more than he could ever say about his feelings towards his soon to be ex-wife. Trissta had seemed like nothing but hassle and Maddox had asked her to marry him simply because that was the way things went. You go to college, meet a girl, get a good job, save for a ring. Maddox had done all this and now his life seemed so empty. Truthfully, it had been out of character for him to let some stranger have his hands all over him, but, there had been something about Mark that drove him over the edge. Maddox's parents had taught him from a young age to never question matters of the heart. Not that he believed in love at first sight, no, Maddox was very much like his mom when it came to that little fairy tale. However, Maddox didn't have to dwell on wondering if he was gay or if he had moved too fast. His mom had always told him "live your life so that you will never regret". Recalling his mom's motto in life, Maddox smiled., He realized there wasn't a single thing about last night that he regretted. Thoughts of his sexual identity and Trissta faded as he made up his mind to call. He couldn't make any promises to Mark, other than that he was willing to give them a chance and do whatever it was Mark needed him to do in order to be given that chance. Maddox remembered the story of when his parents had first gotten together. His mother had just come out of a relationship with her third girlfriend and his father had been the only man she had even so much as noticed. His father always like to tell the story "your mother walked around the corner and I was in love from first sight. We shook hands and she nearly broke mine." he would laugh. "God, I had it bad. I figured there was no way in hell this girl was single. And the third thing out of her mouth was 'oh by the way I like girls'." Maddox had always liked how his parent's love affair was told. He had seen the notebook and Noah and Allie had nothing on them. He admired the honesty his mother had had. Even when they were dating she had spared his father's feelings none and thought that it was better he be disillusioned from the start rather than find out later. This was where Maddox pulled his strength to be honest with Mark. Maddox drifted through the rest of his classes. His head was in a cloud as he day dreamed about Mark. He wondered what Mark was doing, and what classes he had. He even found himself curious to see what the university's policy was about teacher student relationships. Maybe they would only have to be a secret for a semester or something. Not that it mattered, he would make sure that whatever happened, he was being honest and would regret nothing. Maddox knew there was no way he was going to be alright with letting Mark slip through his fingers. He gave mini lectures and handed out stacks of paper, no one even bothering to reciprocate his enthusiasm. After this conclusion had been drawn, the rest of the day seemed to drag on. Maddox, like his students, seemed less than ecstatic to be lecturing about how he would grade papers and his notion that if they paid to take the class then it was their choice to come or not. Finally, after and excruciating two more classes, the long, slender hand on the clock hit the four, 4:20. Maddox couldn't help but smiled. "Alright, class, looks like it's about that time. I will see you all Thursday!" Maddox couldn't get out of the room fast enough. He would go home, take a shower, and then look up Mark's number, and they would talk. Surely Mark hadn't run away from him so quickly by choice. His earlier doubts began to plague his thoughts again. Maddox refused to dwell on them and remembered he wouldn't know unless he tried. He had almost run two red lights and had rolled through countless stop signs. His entire body seemed to know what was coming and he felt like he was being sucked in the direction of home. Maddox was in such a rush to get to the phone that he tore up the steps to his apartment and slid through the door. The carpet burned his skin as he crashed and stumbled. Maddox growled his forearms feeling hot as he looked back at the door frame. Whom ever had decided to build the entry way raised should have their head examined. Maddox and most of his guests were constantly tripping over it. He stood up, brushing himself off when her noticed the post-it Todd had left. He smiled like a giddy teen as he read it. "I hope she will be as hot sober as she was when you were wasted." Maddox flushed all over. Mark was more than beautiful, wasted or sober. He would clear up his newly discovered sexual identity with Todd later. It wasn't like his best friend would make a big deal about it or anything. This phone call was for Mark, to get to know him, to tell him about Trissta and all his dirty secrets. Maddox would admit he was scared and Mark would tell him it was alright. He was no longer even considering the fact that Mark was anything less than anxious to hear from him. Todd's lovely little post-it had just saved him an agonizing search mission he would have to make through his class list of emails and numbers. Nearly ripping his pocket off, Maddox's strong hand made a dive for his phone. His hands were shaky and moist with excitement. Biting his bottom lip, fingers flying across numbers, Maddox dialed his student. For a fraction of a heartbeat he hovered over the send button. It wouldn't be too difficult to just walk away now. He could try and win Trissta back, fix his marriage and get through the semester. Maddox thought this all over before pushing his thumb down on the button, send. Maddox's heart felt like it was creeping up his throat in an attempt to escape the horrible knotting in his stomach. Trissta was nothing compared to Mark. He knew that no matter what this phone call lead to he would never go back to her. Even if Mark spat in his face Maddox would tell him everything. ~*~ Mark was just exiting his freshman English class when his pocket started to vibrate furiously. He took out his phone and looked at the number, which caused his heart skipped a few beats. He knew who it was without the person even being programmed into his phone. Mark knew he shouldn't be so thrilled that Maddox was calling but he couldn't keep the note of joyful relief at bay. "Hello?" He chirped. ~*~ Maddox shivered a little. Mark had waited until the last ring. His brain froze, now what? What was he supposed to do? His mind was screaming at him. Say hello! "Hey, this is Maddox, your..." He stopped thinking. "Dr. Cotedivoux, you gave me your number... Last night you, um we..." Why was language failing him? "I mean in class today." Maddox wondered with a sickening fear hit him that he hadn't thought before. Mark had run because he didn't remember. He was about to just forget it and hang up when Mark spoke. Mark swallowed; thank goodness Maddox at least had the sense to acknowledge the fact that he was Mark's teacher. "I know who you are Maddox." He said flatly, damn the gravel in his voice, damn the vivid memories and fantasies. This was wrong. "Good, I thought maybe with the way you ran away from me that you didn't," it was easy to hear the overwhelming relief in Maddox's voice. Mark could almost imagine him relaxing. The poor guy had really thought Mark didn't remember. Mark realized not remembering was probably less cruel than what he was about to do. He was already feeling guilty but no one was worth his dream to get through college, he reminded himself. "Maddox, you being a teacher... it, it changes things." Mark listened to the painful silence. Even as he was ripping the guys heart out he wanted to hold him. "Have you even looked at what would happen if someone found out about last night? I would be expelled and you would be fired. I would never be able to become a doctor. Ever. If you knew me at all, you would know how much helping people means to me." Mark ducked into a back part of campus. Mark wedged himself behind the music building in a neglected sitting area. The place looked as though it hadn't seen the attention of grounds keeping in years. The walk way was crack. Grass had won the battle against concrete. Evidently so had the tree roots. He walked over to a dirty cracked bench unable to make himself sit. He instead leaned against the brick wall. He winced, hearing a raged breath coming through the phone. No, he wasn't hurting him. Mark was being truthful. He knew Maddox would have no problem replacing him and he would find some other little twink. Hell, good looking as Maddox was he would be onto someone new by the end of the week. "I'll find another school," It was a whisper but it even startled Maddox himself. He had wanted to teach at the university for a long time. Maddox remembered parading around for weeks when he found out he got the job and now here he was, about to give that up. But he didn't retract the offer. He would regret not knowing what could have been more than he would regret switching locations. If it didn't work out, he could always try and come back. Mark laughed, "For what? For me? Listen Maddox I'm not worth that. You don't know me, what if I am a terrible person?" He felt like shit. Last night Maddox had needed protecting. Now he needed guidance, he needed to be told how stupid that sounded. Mark knew he wasn't worth the trouble. Maddox shook his head and then realized Mark couldn't see him "I don't believe that. I would regret not knowing what could have been." He wanted a chance, even if it was just a small chance, he wanted it. Mark flicked his tongue ring against his teeth. His teacher really wasn't making this any easier. "I regret last night," Mark wasn't sure if he was lying this time. He regretted being so easy, regretted falling for his teacher, but meeting Maddox had been one of the happiest meetings in his short life. The lies kept coming, though, "I am way too young for you, and I was drunk. I'm not a slut Maddox. What happened last night... well it's not like me at all". Maddox had never called him a slut, but Mark knew he must be thinking it. He wanted to cry at how much that hurt. He wanted Maddox to see him as strong and in control, not as the pathetic person he really was. "Oh," Maddox wrinkled his nose fighting back tears. He was so drained and hurt and confused, but what could he say. Mark thought he had been used. He wanted to tell him he was only 27 but somehow that seemed unimportant. Maddox had to be the adult here; he was after all the teacher. "I don't think anything negative of you. I will forget last night and see you in class Thursday, Mister Langley." He hung up the phone feeling numb. Staring off into space, he tried to determine what it was that he should do next. Mark felt like his heart had been ripped clean out of his chest. Maddox had left him bleeding. He wanted to call back and say he was sorry and plead with the man to make everything better. Mark knew he wouldn't though. Some things are just not meant to be. ~~~~ Thank you blackstallion21 and Schwarzwald for editing this for me. Sorry it took longer than expected to get it out. I hope it is easier to read this time and I looked over it for word repetition and tried to break it up. Please let me know what can be improved upon because something always can. I hope you don't hate me for where this stops. I was torn but I think this was the best stopping point. Thank you again for reading. AU Ch. 03 What had he just done? Mark, stunned, stepped from the corner where he had been standing to take Maddox's call. It was almost as if he wasn't really a part of this world anymore. The grass looked plastic, and out of place. The trees that once seemed majestic, and mythical now looked dead. Mark was so shocked by his own reaction that he floated back to his dorm room. He wasn't thinking of anything. His heart was racing. Air, coming in painful gasps. Nothing was going to ground him until a shrill voice cut through the fog. "Jesus, honey what the hell happened? Are you alright?" Mark felt Justin's tiny hands on him, steering him to sit somewhere soft. The entire events of the day started to sink in. He hade given his teacher a hand job. That teacher taught his least favorite class. The man that consumed his entire waking being had just been told to go away. Why had he been so weak as to not even give the guy a chance? Mark jumped a little as he felt the warm, gentle, fingers wrangle the phone out of his death grip. The hard plastic had been replaced by an icy bottle of water. He didn't find the new, invading object any more comforting than the phone. Mark drew in a ragged breath. Realizing he would have to come back to the land of the living sooner, or later. There honestly was no need to be this distraught. After all, Maddox was just some guy, he wasn't the love of Mark's life. There was no way the attachment he was feeling right now was real. It wasn't even like he had really hurt the guy, not like whatever had hurt him so bad the night before in Gold. He couldn't believe he was important enough to make Maddox cry. Maybe he could have been, but that was why it was best to end it here. Before anyone got too hurt. Yet here he was, torn to pieces. He didn't want to picture Maddox drowning in liquor distraught over him. Mark knew it was stupid to think that he meant that much to anyone. Hell, he barely knew the guy. All he had done was, politely, tell him it wouldn't work out between them. Which they both knew deep down. They had to. Maddox was a teacher, after all. Mark felt like even though his heart was racing with fear it was breaking. Had he really chased away something so vital to his health? He tried to swallow, his mouth feeling like he had cotton in it. His stomach tried to tighten to reject what little was in it. "He called..." Mark said, barely louder than a terrified whisper. Justin's concerned face came into the focus of the hazy green eyes. He, oddly enough, felt as though they had switched places. Justin suddenly seemed so huge and Mark felt like one of his tiny little dolls, made of porcelain. He wanted Justin to fawn on him, and make the world seem reasonable again. Justin nodded, his face littered with confusion before it was ambushed by realization. "The guy from the bar?" a smile tugged at Justin's glossed lips. "Well hell, honey, why do you look like someone just killed your family? You should be happy! His bicep was H-O-T. God, wish I could have seen the rest of him. Bet he looks yummy!" Mark nodded blinking back tears that were once again threatening to fall. It would have been so much easier if Maddox hadn't called. Then Mark could simply hate the guy for being an asshole. Maddox had called. What was worse, he had begged Mark for a chance. No, begged was too strong of a word. He had simply asked and Mark had had to be the strong one and tell him it wasn't a good idea. Mark looked up at Justin and sobbed. He drew in a small, strained breath feeling like his entire body was being shaken to the core. He rested his throbbing head against Justin's chest. He watched as tears made tiny wet tracks down his roommate's white shirt with the silver stars on it. Justin arched an eyebrow "You're telling me he called you just to turn you down? What a dick cheese." Mark shook his head no. "What happened, then?" He tried more gently, replacing his initial glee with the more appropriate amount of concern. In an effort to sooth his roommate. Justin ran his fingers through the black tresses. He was surprised at how soft the hair was. He rubbed tiny circles across his scalp, inhaling the scent of his manly shampoo. Justin honestly couldn't fathom why the guy from the bar would turn his roommate down. Know it or not, Mark was stunning. A few teeth marks on him, the result of the world chewing him up and spitting him out, but still handsome. He had the typical bad boy image nailed, well, when he wasn't sobbing over some stupid guy. He may not have been Justin's cup of tea, but that didn't mean most gay men wouldn't look his direction two or three times. He had to have been the other guy's type if he had followed him into the bathroom, since clearly Mr. Huge Bicep had been the one to follow, not lead. Justin had to admire his bravery to be a leader to such a larger looking male. Mark sniffled, making a face of disgust at the phlegm that was building up in his nasal passage. He couldn't tell Justin it hadn't gone well and leave it at that. Hell, he looked as if he was in legitimate shock. "We talked for a little and um, we both agreed his job isn't conducive to a relationship." Mark inhaled slowly, feeling his chest tighten. He noticed the friendly fingers playing with his hair. Usually that was a turn on, but the way Justin was touching him just seemed so calming. His seemingly air-headed roommate seemed to know exactly the type of touch Mark needed before he could even think to ask for it. He was starting to get a grip on reality again. Telling Justin that they had agreed the man's job was more important was as close as he was willing to get to the truth. Mark wanted to pull Justin into his lap like a frightened child clinging to a teddy bear for comfort. He decided that would be highly inappropriate though, and just allowed Justin to soothe him. "Well if he chooses money over you, then fuck him." Justin squeezed Mark and felt his roommate settle into him even more. "Honey, he's just a guy. You are at a liberal arts college. Trust me, there are plenty of men who would be thrilled to take you home." Mark laughed, an odd choking sound. As if any of them would compare to Maddox. He wondered if Maddox really would have given all that up. The next few weeks went by in a blur. Mark lived by his planner and it was honestly the only thing saving his ass from failing. He would have forgotten all assignments if it hadn't been for that damn book. Chemistry was clearly the hardest. Between watching Maddox and listening to Cassie babble on and on, Mark just couldn't focus. She had seemed so interesting the first day and now she just seemed annoying. He would go in, and watch Maddox, wishing he had the balls to stick it out with him and see where things would have lead. He smiled when Maddox smiled. He could see how happy teaching made him. Then the time would come and Mark would bolt, run to the bathroom, and purge whatever was on his stomach. The guilt and hurt breaking him down day by day. He thought about dropping the class, but the thought of never seeing his man again terrified him even more. He lived for that early morning class. Chemistry, despite being an evil subject, was Christmas and his birthday all rolled into one. He was fidgety and anxious the night before, only to realize the short class flew buy and he hadn't learned a damn thing. All he knew was that Maddox came in everyday with a big, carefree, smile on his face. His teacher would joke with the class about the course difficulty. Maddox would take the time to talk to every student in the room except for Mark. It killed him inside to see his man so happy and yet he couldn't bear the thought of Maddox being upset. Maddox's care free nature only reaffirmed that Mark had made the right choice. ~*~*~*~ Maddox listened to the silence, still in shock. Granted he hadn't known Mark long or really at all but he had been hoping to at least be given a chance. He bit his lip refusing to cry until all hope was lost. Maddox inhaled deeply sniffling back tears. He went for his laptop wondering if what Mark had said was really true. He headed straight to the source, wanting to know if Mark had just been looking for an easy way out. He navigated to his teacher contract page and read the part about student teacher relationships. If the school found out the student would be expelled for academic misconduct and a breech of academic integrity. The teacher would be fired on the grounds of breeching a contract along with the aforementioned. Getting fired for such and offense would be the end of any teacher's career, let alone for one so new and un-established. Maddox looked down at the post-it note cradled in his hands. The chicken scratch was a tell tale as to who the writer had been. Leave it to Todd to think of things like Maddox washing the number off of his body by accident. Maddox decided he should give his best friend a call. He had been meaning to get together with him for some time. Hell, Todd hadn't even known he had a new place until Maddox had given him and address, or had he given directions. Maddox pinched the bridge of his nose. That was the last time he got too shit faced to remember how he got home. From now on he wasn't going to walk or take taxis to bars. He would drive, forcing him to be the designated driver. Maddox flipped open his phone and allowed his fingers to do the familiar dance across the keys. He hit send and cradled the phone against his ear. "Todd?" He asked when the ring back stopped. "Hey man what's up? Enjoying the bachelor pad?" There was an easy smile in Todd's voice and it soothed Maddox almost instantly. So, Todd was alright with the divorce. "Yeah man. Hey, you busy tonight?" He asked, hoping Todd would be able to help him clear his thoughts a little. Maddox knew Todd really wasn't much of a good listener but he was a damn good friend and if he was needed would break his spine trying to be there. "Nah. You wanna got to a strip club, my newly single friend?" He laughed. Maddox paused for a moment in thought. Maybe they could go to the strip club. He had been wondering if Mark was the only man for him. Maddox was blissfully unaware that everyone already knew he was gay and they were just waiting for the day he realized it too. Maybe it would be easier to tell Todd about his gay encounter if he was surrounded by breasts. "Madd? You there, man? Look, you seriously considering going?" Disbelief rang through the phone. "Yeah, why not? You are always pestering me to go." Todd's eyes nearly bugged out of his skull. "Hang on, buddy. I'll be right over with father Kennedy and holy water." Maddox laughed. "What?" "I gauge your mood by your willingness to come to the strip club. You're agreeing, so I need to be ready for that exorcism." Maddox looked at his cell phone, hearing Todd disconnect. Leave it to him to have a totally whacked out way to judge Maddox's mood. He decided to shower and straighten up a little. He knew Todd would come with beer and be expecting to have some form of manly bonding. Maddox was just sweeping the excess wax out of his ears when he heard a loud thumping on the door. A smile sprawled across his face as his blue eyes rolled. Todd always sounded like he was going to come through the door when he knocked. Maddox had to wonder how his friend would knock if there was ever a real emergency. "Jesus, Todd, break my door down why don't you." Todd tossed Maddox a six pack of Budweiser. "Here, I brought the holy water." Maddox's eyebrows dove towards his nose in confusion "The what?" "The holy water. You know, my exorcism crack?" Todd threw his hands up in exasperation. "Honestly I don't know why I try with you anymore, ya big science geek. Good thing I have a good memory for numbers, too or I never would have made it." Todd looked at his friends confused expression. "Last night? I picked you up from Gold, remember? You got in with a hicky on you and some chicks number. I said something like 'Trissta would cut your balls off and feed 'em to ya.' and you told me you were getting a divorce. I was thrilled and realized there was a god and he does listen. Then I drove you home. Trissta flipped shit and told me very sweetly where I could take your drunk ass and what I could put into it when I got you here." Maddox blushed. He remembered the latter statement, anyway. He could still hear his soon-to-be ex-wife sobbing "Well, fuck him! Todd, why don't you take his ass to that shit hole apartment, The Meadows, and fuck him! He could use a big dick up his ass since pussy doesn't seem to be his cup of tea!" Todd looked at Maddox's horror stricken face "Yeah, as if I would ever screw your ass. Please. I am Todd Halter! if I bring home a man, he is gonna be a fucking underwear model." 'Typical Todd,' Maddox thought 'of course he thought he was good looking enough to get one of those.' Not that Todd was a bad looking guy. He just wasn't anything special. Todd probably looked just like that ass hole quarter back in every high school. A perfect, arrogant cookie cutter. He had well groomed blonde hair with natural sun soaked highlights. His skin had taken it upon itself to have a permanently imbedded tan and his cliché baby blue eyes made women swoon and forget all about him by the time some dark eyed hunk came along with more in his head than the score to last night's game and, more importantly, more than Todd in his wallet, which couldn't afford more than just a dumpy single bedroom and a pizza box date. Todd was the guy in high school everyone loved but forgot once the graduation hat left their head. Everyone except Maddox that is. Todd flopped down on the couch and looked at Maddox expectantly "So, what's her name?" Maddox sat down next to his best friend since sand box days and handed him a beer. "You may wanna open that." Todd tilted his head and flipped the tab hearing the familiar hiss from the drink. He took a few sips, still waiting. "Well he's, um, one of my students." Maddox mumbled looking at his feet waiting for the outburst he was sure had to be coming from his jock friend. "Well, hot damn, man. That sucks, what's his name?" Todd asked, his voice high with surprise. Maddox looked at him, a little surprised himself. "You're not mad?" Todd laughed "Why would I be mad? Oh, shit man! I just realized you like penis! That must mean you have AIDS and want to fuck my brains out and wear make up and you know all that shit!" He laughed "I am just surprised it took you so long to try a guy. I had a feeling you might be bisexual since we were in middle school. Lets face it dude, you love football and have no idea what first down even is. I knew LONG before this little confession" Maddox blushed "Oh, I just thought. I mean aren't jocks usually..." Todd almost looked hurt "Madd, look, I don't stereo type you for being gay, don't stereo type me as a homophobe just because I'm a jock." Maddox visibly relaxed "So, how the hell did I end up with Trissta?" Todd snorted. "Beats me. I thought maybe you just weren't ready. Probably why no one likes her and well, why she fucked everything with a dick. I can't imagine sex with your gay husband is that erotic." Blood ran to Maddox's face. He was not wanting to discuss gay or straight sex with his friend. "Yeah, I guess I was more upset over the failure than her. I mean I was disappointed she was cheating on me but..." "Disappointed?" Todd interrupted "Dude, I would have been fucking pissed! Anyway, what is Mr. Wonderful's name?" Maddox twisted like a giddy school girl "Mark, Mark Langley." Todd nodded and clapped him on the back "Well, good for you man. Happy you finally figured it out. Now, hook up the play station. I need at least need the little boys to win since the big boys got stomped." Maddox rolled his eyes. Todd was a hopeless Indianapolis Colts fan. Last night they had suffered a huge loss and he could just imagine Todd getting teased in all his Colts gear. At least he wasn't a fair weather fan. Maddox opened the machine and put the latest edition of Madden in the consol. He handed Todd a controller and walked to the tiny kitchen. Maddox was surprised at how well that had gone. Todd's sarcastic sense of humor just seemed to make everything okay. "Same thing on the pie?" He called, picking up the land line. "Well, what the hell else kinda pizza we gonna get?" Todd smirked. "Order some wings, too. I am starved." After Maddox had ordered he sat next to Todd on the couch. It was given to him by his parents who had been all too happy to help him move out. They had nothing against Trissta, actually they loved her. They just had been against the marriage. Maddox wondered if he had a neon sign on his head and maybe everyone had known about his preference but him. He picked the Patriots as always, if only to piss Todd off. He now wondered if his fondness for Tom Brady had been because the guy was good looking. Maddox wrinkled his nose. Sure the guy was good looking but he wasn't Mark. Maddox felt a little sick to his stomach again as they ran through the first play. "He's a student, Todd." He finally sighed, pausing the game. Todd looked confused "oh, right your boyfriend." Todd nodded in understanding and was going to reach for his controller again when he noticed his friends lip quivering. God he hated emotional things, but this was Maddox and if his friend needed him well. "So what sort of problems does your new boyfriend being a student cause." Maddox sniffled "well, it means he won't be my boyfriend. Not now, not ever. He said, he said he would get expelled and I would get fired. I can understand why that would scare him. I mean I would be terrified but, well I would regret not knowing you know? And I think like momma, regret is the worst feeling to have." "so why not switch schools?" Todd asked shrugging and taking another long drag on his beer. Maddox looked at him a little open mouthed deciding Todd could get drunk and he would just drive him home. "Todd! that's a fucking brilliant idea." Todd rolled his eyes "Dude, I am a carpenter not a moron. I am allowed a good idea now and again. I mean hell you're a fucking doctor you could teach anywhere. You graduated first in your class and all that shit." Maddox was nodding enthusiastically "yeah, yeah! I'll just transfer. Then I can try again with him." It was true Maddox loved teaching, but the entire week his happiness was entirely due to a second chance. Maddox happily paraded around the room, showing students how to use significant figures and how to do conversions on units that were cubic. "...so, one cc, or cubic centimeter, is equal to one ml. Therefore, you need to convert to cubic centimeters first and then divide out each centimeter so multiply but the conversion factor three times and that is how you get your answer." ~*~*~*~ Mark rolled over in bed and glanced at his phone. "Shit!" He spat, leaping from his bed, his heart racing. Two weeks into his first year at college and he was already having a hard time getting up. Mark threw on his dirty jeans and a Smile Empty Soul shirt. His hair was a disheveled mess and he didn't bother to fix it. He threw his converse on, not bothering with socks and literally flew out the door with his note book. He was late for Chemistry, of all things. It meant he had ten less minutes to look at his teacher and drool. Mark rushed in the door and grunted an apology his teacher's direction before sitting in his usual seat next to Cassie. "It's alright dear, we are just about to go over homework that Dr. Cotedivoux assigned." Mark gawked at the elderly woman at the front of the room. He nervously glanced around as she continued in a voice that seemed to captivate no ones attention. AU Ch. 03 "Is he sick?" Mark whispered to Cassie, hoping Maddox would recover soon. He was already aching from his teacher's absence. Denying his feelings was getting increasingly difficult. Cassie smiled "Welcome back to the land of the living! I heard he was quitting. Shame. Now I have nothing pretty to look at while I pretend to take notes." She shook her head and began to doodle in some notes the new teacher was explaining. "Quitting?" Mark squeaked, causing a few heads to turn. His face paled and he shivered. Quitting, as in he would never see him again. As in their non existent relationships was over. "Honey, you don't look too hot" Cassie whispered, alarm all over her face. Mark shook his head "I gotta go." "Make it to the toilet!" some guy in the front row called, to which there were many chuckles. Mark ran the distance to Maddox's office, hoping he was there. It was the only place he could think to look. Mark had memorized the number from his schedule. just in case he needed to think about where his teacher was or something. His mind raced. He had Maddox programmed in his phone just in case. What might happen that he would needed it he didn't know at the time, but now he did. Mark rounded the corner and slammed into his teacher crushing the Styrofoam coffee cup between them. ~*~*~*~ Maddox felt his freshly poured coffee he made and odd yip sound at the sudden burning on his chest. "Mr. Langley you are going to force me to get en entirely new ward-" Maddox's words were cut short as he felt Mark's frantic lips pressing into his. He felt his slender student beginning to back him into his office. Their hips ground together and Maddox jumped as the door was shut and his back hit the wall. He whimpered softly, loosing all sense of being. Maddox felt Mark's hands on this button down shirt, pulling as button's snapped and cotton tore. Mark's warm tongue began to bathe his teacher's chest, cleaning up the coffee he had just spilled on him. It was as if his body was acting on it's own, releasing all the pent up emotions from the past two weeks. Terror at never seeing Maddox again had forced him to claim what was his. His Maddox, his sweet, shy, dorky teacher. His big, strong man whimpering, responding to every small touch. Mark pulled back, trying to fight himself. Willing his legs to run. He shouldn't be here this was wrong. So wrong. "You can't quit, Maddox." He whispered. Maddox looked confused "I think you lost the right to tell me what to do, Mr. Langley" He shot back, hurt finally touching his face. He was still sore from Mark turning him down on the phone. Mark slammed into his teacher again. His lips were starting to feel warm from the bruising. Maddox whimpered again before pushing his hips up into Mark. Mark let his fingers feel the creasing of his teachers abs. The guy was sculpted from marble. Firm everywhere and perfect. "I, I don't want you to give up your dream for me." Maddox's mouth hung open. The hands on him were making him think with the head between his legs instead of the one resting on his shoulders. "I would rather have a chance than some job." Mark pushed off of him, pinching the bridge of his nose "What if we don't work out, huh? What then? Then I am the asshole who made you give up your dream for nothing. That's stupid and you are too smart to not know that's stupid." Maddox was biting his lips now. His bottom jaw was trembling. To his relief Mark continued. "What if, what if we keep this secret for a little while?" Mark tried. He didn't want either of them to have to give anything up. Mark looked around the box-packed room. He hadn't really taken a chance to look before. His need to touch his man had been far to compelling to resist. "Give it a year Maddox, one year as a secret. If we are still serious then... Well, then I will transfer." He turned his gaze to look at those pretty blue eyes he had missed so much. "Where were you planning on going, anyway?" Maddox smiled "They needed an earth science teacher at Gwynned High." He knew it sounded stupid. He had his doctrine and was a chemistry teacher not an earth science teacher. Mark gave a soft chuckle and knelt beside his exposed lover. He reached out and touched his face. To much Mark's amusement Maddox nuzzled into his hand. It felt natural, as if attacking his teacher was an everyday thing. "You know I can't let you do that." Maddox's eyes shifted to look up at Mark "A year and I get to have you?" He asked timidly. It sounded too good to be true. Mark nodded "Yes, if you still want me in a year I'm yours." He kissed Maddox's lips softly this time. The heat between them was starting to make his skin prickle. He was so turned on by being this close to his man again that it was getting more and more difficult to behave. Mark's left hand slid down his teachers firm chest. His man shaved, it turned him on to no end to feel that smooth taught skin under his fingertips. Drunk Maddox had been sexy. Sober the man was pure, unadulterated sex toy perfection. He looked down and his eyes traced the lines where Maddox's muscular stomach sloped down into his groin. He fumbled with the button and zipper. Maddox parted his legs to allow Mark easier access to whatever part of his body his student was wanting to touch. He looked at Mark for the first time that day, almost afraid that if he touched back Mark would disappear and he would wake up. He hooked his hands under the bottom of Mark's T-shirt and slowly began to roll it off of the student's body. The small pale chest before him was so erotic looking. He noticed a few battle scars, aged and healed, imbedded in his lover's skin. Black ink paw prints adorned both of Marks pecks one had the initials MJ and the other NL. Maddox traced the line of dark hair that started at Mark's belly button and disappeared somewhere unknown inside the younger man's pants. "You aren't going to get very far in this position." Mark whispered, his voice was coarse and sounded like it had been run over the sand paper of his tongue before venturing out beyond his lips. Mark stood and offered his hand to Maddox pulling him up. He walked him over to the customary issue black desk and began to ease Maddox's pants down over his hips and muscular legs. Mark's eyes widened a little, he had forgotten Maddox shaved, and also forgotten how thick his entire body he was. He slowly stroked Maddox's thick rod, a drop of precum glistening on his finger tip. Maddox shivered, feeling those wonderfully graceful hands on him again. His life was complete. He and Mark would be together, everything would turn out like it should. "Can I touch you?" he pleaded softly. Mark jerked and gave a small grunt and nod of approval. Every little twitch Maddox made was bringing him closer and closer to the edge. Hearing his man ask permission so innocently had almost made him loose control right then and there. His sack felt full and tight as it stretched to accommodate his arousal. Mark felt a cool breeze over his body as his pants were dropped. He felt Maddox's fingers tracing over the meaningless tribal tattoos adorning his hips. After what seemed like years his teacher's rough skinned hands finally touched his cock. "Mmmmm...God, I wanted you so bad. Watching you teach every day was torture." Maddox twitched and jerked as Mark's skilled hands teased the underside of his shaft. He was moaning deep in the back of his throat as his eyes threatened to roll back to their whites. He watched Mark spit into his hand and reapply the stroking and Maddox's legs buckled beneath him. "I, I'm gonna aahhh..." Maddox slumped forward, sinking his teeth into Mark's collar bone as his body was over come with a powerful orgasm. Feeling Maddox's almost virginally unskilled hands was bringing Mark closer than he thought he would be so soon. He felt his lover tense and cum onto his body, unrestrained and un-apologizing. Maddox had, had an orgasm when he felt it come on. It was unbridled and honest. He hadn't tried to hold it back for fear of someone chastising him for being a minute man. He hadn't tried to politely push Mark's hands off to finish himself. No, Maddox had just cum. The moment his teacher's teeth sank down into the flesh on his collar bone, Mark was lost. He had forgotten where he was but not who was touching him. He exploded in white splatters all over Maddox's chest. His cock lurched as he felt the hot spurts of pleasure take over his body. When they finally managed to peel apart Mark looked Maddox up and down. "God, you are so hot when I am sober." Mark turned Maddox and leaned him over the desk. Maddox flushed at having his ass so exposed in the air. "You're perfect." He stammered, nervous that something would be wrong with his ass. He was so afraid of losing Mark now that he had him. Mark noticed the clock over Maddox's desk. "Sometime soon this ass will be mine, but I have to get to class." Mark kissed his lover's warm cheeks and the two of them used up a good amount of tissues in the clean up of their afternoon romp. They would have to be very careful with these office sessions. Mark was nervous and just hoped they could keep their secret for a year. He realized now how stupid it would have been to let Maddox get away. ~*~*~*~ The rest of the day went by in a slushy blur. Maddox had said he had to go and salvage his job and unpack. He was going to be up to his beautiful wolf blue eyeballs in paperwork and phone calls but he would like to meet Mark for coffee the next day. Mark walked into his room happiness from ear to ear. He dropped his things and was almost humming. He could feel small patches of Maddox's dried cum on his chest. It made him feel so proud and just... happy. There was no other word than happy. "What has you in such a good mood?" Justin asked, smiling along with his roommate. "I, uh, I saw him today. Guy from the bar." Mark chirped, taking his shoes off and wiggling his toes. They had been contained in the canvas shoes for far too long. Next time he really had to remember to make time to put on socks. Justin frowned "I thought he was a dick who chose his job over you." Mark bit his lip. What could he tell Justin? He didn't want to out Maddox as a teacher just yet, since, knowing Justin was still a new thing. But he couldn't admit to the lie, either. That might destroy their new friendship. "He did, but we talked it over and we both want to give it a go. He's wonderful Just, please be happy for me." Justin smiled again this time a little less enthused "Alright, look, Mark, I am happy as long as you are happy." Justin watched his roommate take off his shirt and looked with mild interest. Mark hadn't been kidding, his body was littered in ink. "So tell me about your tattoos." Justin tried changing the subject. Mark looked relieved "Alright pick one before I start putting my clothes back on." Justin pointed to the spine tattooed on Mark's back a reflection of what lay under the pale flesh. "That one." Mark smirked "It's a bull shit tattoo. I got it because I thought it looked cool." Mark threw up his hands and walked over to his dresser "Lame, I know, but I was living out of my car, saving to come here and I had to give my self some kind of reward." Justin nodded and shifted his small body. He toyed with the bottom of his pink collared polo top, still not in his pajamas yet. Mark's old homelessness status made him feel a little uncomfortable. "Alright, that doesn't count." He pouted poking out his bottom lip. Mark folded his T-shirt and was now standing in just boxers "Alright, pick another one." Justin bounced a little as he pointed to the paws on Mark's pecks "How about those then?" Mark looked down. He had almost forgotten they were there. He lightly traced the NL on his skin. "Let's just say I wasn't always a lone wolf." He swallowed and flicked off the light. Justin realized he had touched on another sore topic and felt guilty. He needed to learn not to push to hard. "Night, Mark. Sweet dreams." "You too, Just." Mark crawled into his bed a tear rolling down his face. It had been a long time since Mark Jameson had thought about Noah Langley. *** I don't know how I feel about this chapter so please be brutally honest, let me know if I am loosing you as a reader. Like I said at the end of the last chapter I wasn't sure if Chapter 2 and 3 should be together or separate so in my mind as stand alones they are a bit bland... I promise there is a lot more Mark and Maddox togetherness in Chapter 4 along with more intimacy between the two of them. You also get some Mark history. Thank you once again to my editor Schwarzwald. AU Ch. 04 Mark offered a weak smile before climbing into bed. He could still taste Maddox on his mouth only now that taste was tainted with Noah. Mark Jameson and Noah Langley had been friends since sandbox days. Elementary school gave the boys friendship, middle school brought on their curiosity for more, but it was during high school that their secret relationship flourished. The Jamesons and the Langlys felt the same way about homosexuality and it was quite a scandal when the incident had happened. The incident was what happened to be on Mark's mind now... ~*~*~*~ It was February 14th, the cliché holiday that meant every normal couple at St. Andrews Catholic School were exchanging small tokens of affection. Noah and Mark were not allowed to behave like all the heterosexual couples at school. Not only because they were in a strict Catholic school, but also because their parents were very strict about the perverse disease of homosexuality. The young couple boarded the bus together. Being next door neighbors meant the boys were almost always together. They walked past all the rows of familiar young teen faces. No one even thought twice. Mark and Noah were simply best friends. They sat in the back of the bus as always. The familiar fake brown leather sank beneath their combined weight. Mark draped his nearly empty school bag between them. He waited for Noah's hand to slide into his where it belonged. Just like it had been doing for the past three years. Noah was a small boy with angelic blonde hair and teddy bear brown eyes. He looked like a fragile doll and everything about him screamed of his innocence. Noah was tiny Tim who always saw the good in people. He was the reason Mark wanted to be a doctor and help people. Mark honestly wouldn't have thought twice about mankind if it hadn't been for his Noah. Noah's tiny soft hand slid into Marks. Mark felt the invading warmth and went through with the first part of his romantic plan. Mark slid the tiny white gold hoop onto Noah's right hand. Noah's plump rosy lips pulled back in a smile as blood warmed his face. "Happy Valentines Day Noah" Mark whispered, a happy light in his eyes. Mark had planned out this holiday for month. He had saved up and found the perfect simple ring. "It's a promise ring" he informed his boyfriend. Noah's eyes started to tear up. He felt his long term best friend, and only lover, give his ring adorned hand a squeeze. The small boy quickly wiped his eyes to avoid the questioning stares of his school mates. They always had to be careful no one was looking. Noah nodded his head in a shy yes. Mark chuckled and lowered his voice barely above a whisper "I love you Noah Langley. You need to let me give you the romantic speech I had planned before you can say yes." He chided the smaller boy. If as all possible Noah blushed even darker. His heart jumped a little at having his Mark do something so romantic. He finally managed to locate his voice somewhere deep in his throat. "You already know my answer." he defended. Noah hated how his voice sounded so shaky and high pitched compared to the manly timbre of Mark's voice. Mark felt warmth radiate through his core as he gave his lover's hand a reassuring squeeze. Their hands shielded by the protective blanket of Mark's school bag. "Fine, I guess I will just make you wait until lunch then." The bus stopped and the two lovers gave each other the knowing stare. They parted ways and went to separate classes, not knowing that today was the day the world would stand still. ~*~*~*~ Mark bolted upright in his bed, Noah's name still heavy on his lips. He knew he had screamed and was now panting and shivering. Why now? Why of all times was he being reminded of Noah now? Mark knew he was whimpering and he couldn't seem to silence himself. "You alright, honey?" Justin's voice cut through the darkness and reached Mark's panicked ears, sleep still heavily entrenched in the blonde's voice. "What's wrong?" He questioned, nervous that Mark had had a nightmare about the mystery bar man. Mark inhaled as he watched the familiar frame come closer and sit at the foot of his bed. "Yeah, just a nightmare." Mark closed his eyes and shook off the last remnants of Noah. Justin reached out and touched Mark's face. He wrinkled his nose at the moisture his fingers encountered. Mark was terror stricken and sweaty. "I'm here for you, Mark." Justin whispered. His face lit up. "Hang on, handsome. I know what will make you feel better." Mark watched his small roommate turn on his desk lamp and he was almost unable to suppress a laugh. Justin had on girl pajama shorts instead of boxers. Not only were they supposed to be worn by a female, but the shorts were lime green and had Tinkerbell's smiling face on them. "Tinkerbell? Really, Just?" Mark snorted feeling, his heart rate return to normal. The familiarity of Justin's antics was soothing. Justin nodded as if his shorts foreshadowed his brilliant remedy for nightmares. "Disney fixes everything." He strutted to his TV and positioned the set so it was facing Mark's bed. His slender, newly polished finger pushed the power button on the DVD player and the set. Both flickered to life and Disney commercials intended for youngsters started to flash against the screen. Justin padded back to Mark's bed and got back on top. "Mind if I watch, too?" Mark shook his head "No, we need to set the room up better though so we can both see." Mark felt Justin's cool smooth skin slid in next to him under the blankets. "What are we watching?" Justin's lips were over taken by an impish smirk "Peter Pan. I figured it was the best choice considering your fondness of my shorts." Mark relaxed, too tired to really keep his eyes open. The sounds of a familiar childhood memory lulling him to sleep. He scooted back down under the blanket "Hey, Just?" Mark whispered, feeling his teddy bear of a roommate finally stop wiggling and settle into the bed. "Yeah?" Justin responded, the concern quickly returning to lace in his words. "Thanks." Mark replied before drifting off to sleep. "Night, Mark." Justin replied, not taking his eyes off of the screen. He was too wrapped up in watching his favorite pixie throw a fit in a drawer with sewing needles and a thimble. Justin didn't think he deserved to be thanked, he was just doing what any good friend or roommate would do. Mark certainly deserved that. He had been miserable looking and serious the first night at school so Justin had suggested they go out. Then he had managed to snag a hottie at the bar and hooked up with him in the bathroom. Poor Mark had then been dumped by the stranger and had scared the living daylights out of Justin when he appeared to be in legitimate shock over a phone call. It was easy to see why Justin was less than thrilled when Mr. Hot Stranger Asshole decided to give his roommate a chance after all. After how much the guy had hurt Mark he really had a lot of nerve. It made Justin question who was really the bottom in that relationship. The first night it had clearly been the large male to follow, but now Justin wasn't so sure. Justin knew this was going to end badly. As if to prove his point Mark had woken up screaming about this Noah. Well now at least the stranger from the bar had a name, and Justin hated him. There was no way Noah could be any good for Mark. ~*~*~*~ Mark woke up the next morning as he felt his cell phone vibrating beneath him. He hated alarm clocks and was proud that he had learned how to wake up by just the vibrations. Justin had already gone to class since he was clearly more of a morning person. He looked over and noticed Justin's bed was made and a stuffed fox was sitting on top of his pillow. Mark held his head, trying to remember if his roommate had stayed in his bed all night. He hoped he hadn't caused Justin to lose any sleep. Mark rolled out of his bed, jerking his feet up the moment they hit the cold floor. He groaned before stepping out of the warm, safe wrap of his covers. He walked over to his closet to get his shower tote and prepare for the day. He was going to have to have a talk with his new boyfriend about going to the doctor so that they would be able to do more than just touch each other. ~*~*~*~ Maddox received a text message from Mark asking him to wait, so that they could talk. He waited in his office after his day was finished. Maddox kept trying to focus on his lesson plan, but every few minutes his eyes dutifully drifted to the clock hanging above his door. It was as though his nervous heartbeat was competing with the ticking of the industrial clock's second hand, trying to be louder. Maddox looked at the door expectantly when, after what seemed like decades, the door knob was finally being turned. He couldn't help his face lighting up when he watched Mark walk in. It was as if he hadn't seen Mark in years and Maddox was starved for his company. "Hey, Dr. Cotedivoux." Mark smiled nervously, raking a hand through his dark hair. Despite his usually confident and stoic nature Maddox had him acting like a love sick teenager again. "Hello, Mr. Langley." Maddox mocked the formality. Secretly it was hot to think of the rules they were breaking to be together. He had never done anything risky in his entire adult life. "I was starting to worry you might not show up." he confessed. His muscles relaxed and he felt at ease. He hadn't noticed how wound up he was getting waiting for Mark. Mark chewed on his bottom lip worried Maddox might think his idea for a date was stupid. He slid a small slip of paper across his teacher's desk. "I uh... well I am a broke college student so as much as I think you deserve to be wined and dined this is about all I can afford. I mean I know you could do better than me financially. We don't have to go if you think it's stupid. It's just..." Mark sighed, looking down at the ticket, trying to find the nerve to say what he was trying to get across. It was better if they knew where they stood now "See I am usually a top, but my financial standing doesn't really allow me a lot of money to take you out like I should. I'm sorry. I promise to take good care of you, it's just we might be having less flashy dates than you are used to." Mark blushed in shame. He felt Maddox's cool soothing hands cover his. "Relax, Mark. I am new to this whole thing." Maddox lifted the ticket to another college's foot ball game. The school was a large university about an hours drive from campus. He smiled. Despite what Todd thought Maddox enjoyed football for more than just the guys running around in tight outfits. "This sounds perfect. As for tops and, um, bottoms... Mark, I am uh, getting a divorce." Mark tilted his head in confusion but he let his man continue. "Apparently everyone knew I was gay except for me. I mean, hell, even my friend Todd could see it. Mark, you were, are, the first and only guy I have ever been with." Maddox looked at Mark. He could see Mark doing the mental calculations and waited for it to register before continuing. "Honestly, I don't want to label myself and do what the rest of the world expects me to do. I tried that when I married Trissta and clearly that didn't end well. Although, I guess I don't regret it because I might not have meat you if I wasn't feeling sorry for myself that night." Maddox smiled sheepishly. "I don't regret either time you and I were together. I just hope that you are willing to go slow with me. I don't want to loose you again. I want to just go slow, get to know each other, and do what feels right." Mark could tell his teacher was afraid to confess all this. He gave Maddox's hands a reassuring squeeze to calm him. It was a lot to take in and had Mark not known how much it hurt to think of his teacher leaving he may not have taken this so well. He already knew he couldn't live without Maddox and that meant taking him baggage and all. Not to mention Mark knew his baggage was much heavier than Maddox's little secret. He was willing to go through the coming out fireworks all over again for his man. "Of course I'm willing to stay." He smiled and kissed Maddox's fingers as if to seal his promise.. "So you'll go on a date with me, then?" He asked shyly, barely above a whisper. Mark was still worried Maddox would change his mind when he realized how little Mark currently had to offer. Maddox's eyes grew wide as he looked over Mark's shoulder. "Of course we can go over carbon dating Mr. Langley." Maddox shuffled some papers on his desk hiding the ticket for their date. He looked at the man who had silently walked thorough his door. "Hello, Jason. Anything I can do for you?" Mark jumped as the shrill raspy voice behind him spoke.. "Maybe you didn't get the email, Mattox, was it? I thought I would make sure. There is a department meeting In about ten minute in the department lounge. I know you are a new teacher so I figured I would remind you." Maddox smiled warmly, not bothering to correct the mispronunciation. He nodded at his older colleague "Yes, thank you. I got the email but I have neglected the time. I'll be right there in a bit. Thank you, Jason, for reminding me." The man nodded and left without another word. Color returned to Maddox's face and he waited until he knew they were alone to talk again. "Sorry, Mark,. I would love to go out with you, but like I said, no labels. I don't want you to feel like since you are the more experienced partner that you have to pay for everything. I am assuming I would prefer to be the bottom, but that doesn't mean we aren't equal. Let me make you dinner after the game tomorrow night." Mark leaned across the large standard issue teacher's desk. He brushed his lips across Maddox's before kissing him deeply. "See you tomorrow after class, teacher." ~*~*~*~ Maddox couldn't keep the smile off his face through chemistry class. As usual he tried not to make it too obvious that he was checking Mark out. He blushed a few times when he caught Mark looking at him. Cassie laughed "My, someone sure has it bad for the teach." Mark jolted back to reality. "No, I do not!" he protested in an angry whisper. Cassie's plump pink lips pulled back to reveal perfectly rounded teeth "It's alright, Mark. I won't tell. 'Sides he seems to be pretty sweet on you, too!" Mark's eyes widened in a moment of sheer panic. Did Cassie know? Mark wondered if it was that easy to catch all the little flirty glances between them. He had forgotten that the entire class was watching his man and that everyone saw every time he made Maddox laugh or blush. He tried to swallow, feeling like his mouth was full of cotton. "He, he's a teacher Cassie. They aren't allowed to date students." Cassie shook her head as her eyes turned towards the ceiling tiles. "Lord, like that ever stopped anyone before. Calm down, hon, I ain't gonna tell anyone you and teach are fuckin' like bunnies. Keep your voice down, by the way. Just because I am a good secret keeper doesn't mean the whole class is. Besides that rule is stupid. It only seems to go after dating. Do you have any idea how many people spread their legs, ass, and lips for good grades?" She asked, arching an eyebrow suggestively. Mark nodded, relaxing a little. "Well, we aren't fucking like bunnies, but even if we were I wouldn't want it to effect my grades." Cassie gave Mark an 'I knew it' look before continuing to doodle a puppy in her notebook. Mark didn't know how to feel about the fact that Cassie knew, or at least thought she knew what was going on between him and Maddox. He felt guilty that Cassie knew and Justin didn't. Justin knew he was with someone, but he didn't know it was a teacher. Surprisingly, for the rest of the day Maddox wasn't the man on Mark's mind. ~*~*~*~ Maddox waited in Todd's truck for Mark. It would be too risky to have someone see Mark get into his car and so Todd had agreed to let Maddox borrow the Ram. He was fidgeting. Class had taken forever today. Maddox had burned a few Cds and was curious to see what type of music Mark listened to. He assumed rock, but one never knew. Finally, after what felt like decades, Mark came strolling out of the English building. Maddox smiled. He had told Mark what to look for in case the sunglasses, hat, and out of character sweat-shirt threw his student off. He hoped it, at the very least, didn't make him look like a teacher. "Hey, Mr. Langley." Maddox smiled, a blush going to his cheeks. He hadn't gotten up the nerve to call Mark any pet names yet, and the title name was starting to become routine. "Hey, Dr. Cotedivoux." Mark smirked and climbed up into the truck. He rested a hand on Maddox's leg and looked out the windshield as the forbidden couple drove off campus to Rhodliss University. "So, to get there just get onto the interstate and go until exit 13." Mark stated mater-of-factly. This was the first actual time he had spent with Maddox and, despite having already made his teacher cum twice, he was nervous. Maddox nodded, unable to think of anything else other than the warmth of the hand on his thigh. A few inches higher and Mark would feel just how much he had missed him. "Do you listen to music?" he asked, blushing at how incredibly stupid that sounded. "I like metal and rap." Mark said with a smile. "I don't like to be stereotyped." Maddox smiled and the tension seemed to dissipate out of the truck. "Good. I don't either, as you've heard. So, how old are you? I know it is a stupid question but I mean you are a freshman, so... Oh God, you aren't a minor?" Maddox panicked for a moment that maybe this was more wrong than he thought. Mark laughed "No, I started college late. I'm 22. How about you, old man?" Maddox felt his heart slowing down. This was getting easier. It was strange how little they knew about each other. "I'm 27, so you can't call me old yet." The rest of the car ride was spent sharing trivial knowledge about what they both liked and disliked. They would smile in their similarities and marvel at their differences. Life would never be boring with so many things shared between them. ~*~*~*~ Maddox parked the truck in one of the gravel lot spaces. The outdoors stadium was mobbed and no one took notice off the couple. Mark took Maddox's hand and lead him to the gate. Mark was gripping their tickets firmly as both pairs of eyes darted around in case someone would notice. Maddox relaxed once they were seated "This was a perfect idea. Even if someone we know is here I doubt they would notice us." He gave Mark's hand a reassuring squeeze, wishing the hard orange seats would allow more contact. Mark flushed, happy at the compliment. "I am glad you are happy. I was so nervous you wouldn't be the sports type." He gave a small, snorting laugh. "Actually, you might need to explain it to me. Stereotypical goth I don't know much about sports. I just thought the atmosphere would be fun." Maddox kissed Mark's slender fingers "I don't know it that well either. My friend Todd picks on me for only liking football because it's men in tight clothes." The blush that was all over Mark's cheeks faded. He hoped Maddox wasn't just into the bulky type. "You want a big football player to rough you up?" He asked. A jolt went through Maddox when he heard Mark's question. "No, baby, I want you." The large man pouted and almost leapt into Mark's lap to reassure him that he was perfect. "Just you. He just teases because I didn't know I was gay. That was one of the big flags, apparently. I told him about you. He suggested I switch schools more seriously than what I blurted out. I promise Mark, you are the one I want." Mark shook his head. He had forgotten how responsive his man was, how new. "It's alright, Maddox, I am just sensitive. When I thought I might never see you again..." He kissed his teachers pouting lips. He tasted sweet and warm as vanilla and sugar. Mark ran his tongue stud between Maddox's lips. AU Ch. 04 Maddox inhaled in surprise as the pierced tongue began to caress his own. Warmth spread all over his body. This kiss was, in his mind, their first. It wasn't rushed or drunk. It was perfect. He felt little sparks dancing in his stomach, running across his flesh. Heat radiated from his heart out of his body and into Mark's lips and mouth. His student was tugging at the hair at the base of his neck. The kiss broke and they lingered there rubbing the lips together as their breath mingled in the air between them. Giving Maddox one final peck, Mark pulled back to look at him. "You just called me baby." He teased, realizing the pet name his teacher had assigned to him. Mark watched Maddox's strong jaw dip down into his chest and he tilted Maddox's face back up. "It's alright. I like it." Maddox explained to Mark everything he knew about the game. Todd would have been proud of him. He explained what it meant to get a first, second, and third down. Maddox also explained the line of scrimmage and some of the penalties. By the end of the game Mark's lungs felt hoarse from screaming. Their team had won and Maddox and Mark had celebrated with a victory kiss. Mark lead his man back to Todd's truck and opened the driver door for him. The ride home was filled with comfortable conversation and longing caresses. ~*~*~*~ Mark looked at the rundown apartment complex. He had expected Maddox to live in something a bit more upscale. He noted a few cars had commuter parking permits stuck to their back windshields. It was very possible that if this date lead to future dates that another student would see them. "Oh..." Maddox said, noticing Mark's eyes were currently resting on a student sticker. "I didn't think about that..." Maddox rubbed the back of his neck and took off his sweatshirt. "Here, just follow close behind and keep the hood up." Mark slid the sweatshirt over his head and searched for the large sleeves. "Damn you are big." "Thanks?" Maddox arched an eyebrow as he watched marks thin frame find the proper holes for his appendages. "No, it's a good thing. I like being with a man." Mark reassured Maddox, flipping the hood over his head. "I mean I'm gay. If I wanted to be with a girl I would be with a girl." Mark opened the door and waited for Maddox to lead him to his apartment. He was jumpy and made sure to keep his head low. Once Mark had successfully been snuck into his teacher's apartment he inhaled deeply, sighing with relief. "Scared?" Maddox asked softly. Mark nodded "Yeah, like I said we both have a lot to loose." Maddox flicked on the light illuminating the still disheveled moving-in stage of his appartment. "We have a lot to gain, too." Mark watched Maddox take a large tray out of the refridgerator and place it in the oven. "Frozen dinner?" Mark asked skeptically. "No, it's my mom's creation. Stuffed scampi alfrado shells. You'll love them. I just made it earlier and froze it since it reheats well." Maddox started to set his makeshift table. Trissta had kept the large mahogany table in their dining room. He wished he had been able to show Mark the nice thing he used to have. "I know mine won't be as good as hers, but I wanted something that was from my family." Mark nodded, not knowing what to say. He wished he had something of his family to share with his boyfriend. He was so consumed with longing that he didn't notice he was considering Maddox his boyfriend. Maddox turned around and noticed the pensive look on Mark's face. "What's wrong? Did I do something?" Mark looked up, seeing Maddox's large eyes flooded with concern. He took the larger man's hand into his own, kissing his ring finger. "No, of course not. We just have very different stories to tell." Maddox shivered as Mark stroked his fingers. He knew the arousal he was feeling was misplaced. He bit his tongue, allowing the coppery taste sooth his frustrations. In his innocence, Maddox had never truthfully experienced anything bad in the world. He had a loving family with parents that would put even the best romance novels to shame. Mark seemed to have been tainted by pain deep down to his core. He was reserved and appeared to Maddox to be the type who didn't share often. He was shocked when, after a few agonizing seconds, Mark continued. "I miss them sometimes. My family, I mean. We used to be close, and then they found out I was a fag. I remember coming home from school... I mean I knew it wasn't going to be pretty but, I mean my mother was having a fucking funeral in the kitchen." Tears came to Marks eyes. He had never talked about his family, the incident, or even Noah and now here he was spilling his guts as his new lover's homemade dish was warming in the oven. "I just thought they would be mad, you know? My father told me I was dead. I remember trying to call out to my mom. She, she wouldn't even look at me. They were supposed to be my fucking parents and the moment I am not perfect I am dead to them." Mark growled as hurt and rage over all his demons threatened to spill forward. Then he relaxed placing mortar between bricks once more protecting himself with walls of stoicism. Mark quickly wiped his tears on Maddox's sweatshirt, which he had yet to remove from his body. "Sorry, I don't want to ruin our first date." "You can't ruin this, unless you plan to run out of my apartment screaming." Maddox wouldn't push. If Mark was ready and wanting to talk about it he would listen, but he wouldn't push. Like most people that had seen them, he had wondered about the scars and tattoos. But he knew Mark would only open up when he was ready. Mark felt so protected by Maddox, but truthfully he wasn't ready. How do you go about telling someone that your father threatened to kill you for real if you didn't disappear? Jack Jameson had always had a temper. He hit his wife, smacked his daughter and unleashed his rage on his son. You didn't, at least not on a first date. "I'm here for you, Mark, no matter what is in your past. If you don't want to talk about I won't push." Maddox offered Mark a hug and was pleased when his seemingly strong man moved into his arms. "Thank you, for everything." Mark was surprised how natural it felt to be in Maddox's arms. He was so used to being strong, for everyone. Always fighting to keep his head above water. It was nice to just be able to relax and have someone else keep him afloat. "I care about you, Mark Langley. No need to thank me." Maddox kissed the top of Mark's head. Mark winced. He hadn't even brought up the incident. There were just so many secrets from so many people. It was exhausting. "I care about you too, Maddox Cotedivoux." was all he could say in return. The oven made a sharp invading buzzing sound and the couple parted. Mark watched Maddox fill two plates with large stuffed shell noodles. The smell was intoxicating. "Look at you, little house wife!" Mark teased, ducking as Maddox threw the oven-mitt at him. "I just like to cook. I'm Italian and French, after all." Maddox set a plate down in front of both chairs and handed Mark a fork and knife. "Let me know if you don't like it." Mark was practically drooling "Trust me, after cafeteria food anything homemade would be perfect. This smells incredible, though." He cut open the shell, letting cheese and steam out of their noodle prison. Shrimp, cheese, and chicken spilled out onto the dark blue plate. Mark blew on a steaming bite, making a small moan as he tasted the concoction. "Mmm, this is amazing!" Maddox swallowed his bite. "You say that like you are surprised." Maddox smiled, watching Mark shovel the rest of the food in his mouth. After dinner Maddox piled all the dishes up in the sink and lead Mark to his living room. "I have some video games we could play or we could watch a movie?" He offered, not wanting Mark to go home yet. Mark thought this over for a moment. He wasn't ready for his time with Maddox to end, but he knew that Justin would want to have roommate time tonight and he didn't want Maddox thinking he would always put out like he had. However, upon seeing that hopeful look in Maddox's eyes, he slid onto the couch under Maddox's heavy arm. "What movie were you wanting to watch?" "Anything. I am sort of a movie-holic." Maddox handed Mark two very large and very full CD cases stuffed with DVDs. Mark thumbed through the collection, amused. His man had everything from Disney to horror. "This one." Mark paused and pointed out a DVD with three wolves along the bottom and their human counterparts on the top. "Blood and Chocolate." Maddox smiled. "I love this movie." He bounced to the DVD player and put the disc in. Mark felt a small pang of guilt as he noticed the time. It was getting late. He pulled out his phone and texted his roommate. ~*~*~*~ Justin's phone vibrated on the bed side table "Sorry Jin, hang on." He panted, getting off the larger Asian male that he was tutoring. The text read: Sorry Just 1st date wnt well staying the nite. Justin smiled and returned to the needing naked man on his bed. "Looks like we didn't need that knock first sign, my roommate isn't coming back." Justin climbed back under the sheets and trailed a finger along Jin's pale body. He was built beautifully. Not too thick, but by no means would one consider him thin. He had a few tattoos, nothing compared to the artwork Mark was covered in but enough for Justin. He wasn't that fond of ink anyway. "Roll over onto your stomach" Justin purred. The all but silent Jin complied, no longer able to see Justin. "Like this?" Jin questioned sweetly. He presented his wonton ass to Justin. Jin yipped as he felt his ass smacked "No talking, Jin baby, remember?" Justin scolded his plaything. Jin flushed and nodded. He knew how Justin could be. Sometimes he wanted the thrill of topping or causing pain as he watched his partner's face twist in humiliation. Other times Justin liked to be cuddled and taken care of as a thick cock fucked him into oblivion. The last way Justin liked it was how Jin was letting him have it now. Anonymous so that he could get off and stay inside his own head. He would care nothing for his partner's pain or pleasure as long as he got off. A race to the finish line. If Jin didn't get off before Justin he would be alone with his hand to fix it later. ~*~*~*~ Mark's lips traveled across the valleys of Maddox's sculpted body. The movie had been forgotten and Mark's roommate told him he had company anyway. He felt the large god shiver under his teasing kisses. Maddox watched Mark's mouth travel closer and closer to his groin. He let out a loud moan as Mark licked the darkened seam of his sac. Mark was about to engulf him when Maddox panicked. "Stop, baby, stop." He whispered, scooting away from Mark's open mouth. Mark looked up at him, hurt. "Did I do something wrong?" He felt cold, wondering if Maddox had been having second thoughts. He was going through a heterosexual divorce after all. The first time Maddox had been drunk and the second time had all happened so fast. Maddox was pleased with his self restraint until he noticed the panic in Mark's eyes, "No, of course not." Relief flowed through Mark's veins. "What's wrong then, babe? I thought you wanted this?" "I do, but Trissta cheated on me and I don't know who all with or if she was safe..." Maddox couldn't look in Mark's eyes. Mark meant more to him than just a good time. Mark thought for a moment "Oh, your ex wife." "It's not that I don't want to because believe me I do. I just want you to be safe." Maddox blurted out. Mark smiled and crawled back up so he was straddling Maddox's hips. He turned his face so that Maddox had to look into his eyes. "We can wait, you just scared me a little. It's still difficult for me to wrap my brain around an ex wife. I got checked before I applied and haven't been with anyone since. We can both go and get tested tomorrow, though, if you would like." Maddox nodded and all was made right with a kiss. Maddox felt Mark's hard cock pressing into him. "I trust you." He informed Mark. "Can I, can I give you, um, a, uh, you know?" Mark watched Maddox writhe in his own shyness. It was such a turn on to have a man who was practically a blushing virgin beneath him. "If you want, but you're going to have to say it. I want to hear you say it." Mark normally wasn't the type to get off on humiliation, but Maddox blushing and stammering between his thighs had just proved to be a turn on. His teacher was so innocent and new to everything. Maddox got down onto the floor between Mark's legs, hoping that inspiration to say his sinful desire would strike him. "I want to suck." Maddox watched his student wiggle out of his jeans. They were on even playing fields now, both completely naked. "I want your cock..." Maddox mumbled, staring at the object of his fantasies. He hadn't yet been faced with a naked male so close to his face. Despite it being obvious to everyone, Maddox hadn't known because he had never gone looking. He had never seen porn, never consciously thought about a man. Mark's cock bouncing naked in front of his face had woken him up. Mark couldn't resist. He tilted Maddox's face back up. "You want to suck my cock, Dr. Cotedivoux?" He asked, thrilled when his teacher gave a small nod. "Have you ever had one in your mouth before?" Mark questioned. He assumed Maddox was inexperienced, but then again the man had been so sure what he wanted in his office. "No." Was all Maddox managed to whisper. "How will you know how to do it?" Mark asked, leading his teacher along. Maddox flushed. "I've had girls do it to me before." He offered, not seeing what Mark was hinting at. "We both know that isn't the same. I suppose I will just have to teach you then." He smirked. Maddox relaxed. He unclenched his fists "Just like you taught me how you liked to be stroked?" Mark nodded. Maddox taught him chemistry, but he was going to teach his man how to be a good lover. "Exactly like that. Start by kissing the head." Mark instructed watching, Maddox comply. His plump lips grazed the top of Mark's head. Maddox tasted the precum on his lips. Mark had a strong salty flavor and he ran his tongue along the pink surface of his lips. "Like that?" Mark gave a soft moan, watching Maddox lick precum off of his lips. "Yeah, baby, just like that." His legs shook with anticipation. He wanted to grab Maddox's thick hair and slam his aching cock down the man's throat. "Lick it, get me nice and wet." With more confidence than before Maddox gave a small lick to the underside of Mark's shaft. When his younger lover jerked at a certain spot just beneath his crown Maddox made a mental note to return there. Mark felt the warm gentle caresses of his lover's tongue. The gentle slowness was driving him insane as he jolted every now and again when Maddox hit that bundle of nerves along the underside of his shaft. He had never had a man pay attention to him like that before and Mark just enjoyed. He leaned, back moaning and panting. Then his teacher did something unexpected. Maddox had loved when Mark had licked his swollen sensitive sac and wondered if Mark would feel the same. With the moans of encouragement Maddox decided to give it a try. He used the broad of his tongue and licked each tightened orb. Mark nearly leapt off of the couch. "Holy shit, that feels good-d-d!" He stammered. Mark's fingers dug holes into the couch as he tried to fight off his orgasm. "Suck me, baby." He growled, not forgetting his role. "Roll your lips over your teeth" He instructed. Maddox enthusiastically attempted to get Mark's entire length into his mouth. He didn't bother to go slow and as soon as Mark's cock hit the back of his throat he made a gagging noise and jumped off. The noise Maddox made had Mark on edge. His excitement to suck his first cock was hands down the hottest thing Mark had ever witnessed. "Slow down, baby, you don't need to get the whole thing in." He coaxed. With renewed determination Maddox rolled his lips over his teeth and tried again. He got a little under half of Mark into his mouth and stopped. Mark knew Maddox wouldn't be able to take that much of him his first time and he was happy for the warm embrace of his lover's mouth. He gently rocked his hips into Maddox. "Suck, Maddox..." He purred in a low voice. Maddox began to bob his head. After a few strokes he managed to get a little bit more of Mark in. He used his tongue, swirling along what of Mark's shaft he managed to get into his mouth. It wasn't the best head Mark had ever gotten, but it was definitely the most memorable. The last virgin Mark had been with had been Noah and they had both explored each other together. Mark felt his sack tighten and draw up into his body. His dick began to hum with it's need to release. "I'm gonna cum." He moaned "Shit, Maddox, s-st-top-p!" He cried, not wanting to explode in Maddox's mouth without warning. To his surprise Maddox moved faster, sucked harder. "Fuck, I'm... mmm... aahhh!" Mark panted, losing himself to pleasure. Maddox looked up at Mark and Mark lost it. He erupted inside his teacher's warm mouth, coating his tongue in warm spunk. Mark held Maddox's gaze as he pumped the last of his orgasm into him. Maddox made sure Mark was completely done before he finished sucking. The thick cum rolled around over his tongue as he enjoyed the flavor. It was bitter and salty, not what he was expecting. He swallowed it when he was finished milking the last few drops from Mark's cock. Maddox licked Mark clean as he softened. "How was it?" Mark was still sensitive and Maddox's licking elicited some powerful after shocks. "You have to ask?" Mark teased before pulling up his boxers. Maddox smiled and climbed back onto the couch, pleased that his first time giving Mark head had been successful. "And where do you think you are going?" Mark arched an eyebrow as his big puppy tried to cuddle into his lap. Maddox looked up into Mark's green eyes, confused. "I thought maybe we could watch another movie. You said your roommate wasn't expecting you." He whined. Mark's voice was a bit hoarse from moaning "You really think I am going to let you lay here naked, hard, and needy next to me after that?" Mark wiggled out from under his teacher's massive weight. When he was free he went over to his jeans and took something out of the pocket. Mark got back on top of his teacher kissing down his body, back where he had left off. Without thinking Maddox's hips thrust up and he whimpered his need. "But, we said... I might not be clean." He panted, trying to wiggle away. Mark snorted a small laugh. "Ever heard of condoms?" Mark asked, showing Maddox the green foil wrapper. "It's green apple flavored, made just for this." Maddox blushed and settled back down onto the couch "You don't have to, I mean I like just doing it for you." He protested, nervous he wouldn't last long. "I want to." Mark assured him rolling the latex condom over Maddox's stiff rod. The smell of fake green apples saturated the air as Mark went to work. He engulfed Maddox's entire cock, swallowing as he went. He moaned and hummed around the beautiful cock, feeling Maddox tense with pleasure. Maddox moaned and his mouth hung open. He couldn't fathom how Mark managed to get his mouth to do everything it did. Trissta hadn't even been that good. Not that she ever really put much effort into it. Maddox's knuckles lost color as he gripped the edge of the sofa, trying not to become lost in pleasure. A few bobs of Marks head and Maddox lost control. Mark felt Maddox's cock lurch within it's latex confines. He knew his lover had better get tested sooner rather than later because he wouldn't be able to be sensible about protection for long. When Mark was sure Maddox was finished and each jerk was nothing more than an after shock, he pulled off, kissing Maddox's covered cock. "Good?" He questioned, feigning innocence. AU Ch. 04 Maddox flushed down from his cheeks to his chest "Oh my God..." He panted, looking at Mark with admiration. "You have to teach me how you did that." Maddox wiggled out from under Mark, wanting to go again. "As much as I love your enthusiasm I am a bit too tired to go again tonight." Mark raked his fingers though Maddox's hair. Maddox nodded, he hadn't realized how hard he had come. "Me, too. You wore me out. Want to take a shower?" Maddox asked hopefully. He didn't want the night to ever end. ~*~*~*~ Mark woke up, his legs and arms wrapped possessively around his muscular man. He had slept soundly through the night and couldn't even remember what he had dreamed about. He kissed the back of Maddox's neck. "Morning, teach." He teased. Maddox smiled peacefully as he pressed himself into Mark's body. He didn't realize the warm crevice of his ass was stroking Mark's morning arousal. "Morning." He yawned. Maddox gave a soft moan of appreciation as he felt Mark's moistened palm stroking him. "Looks liked someone slept well." Mark purred, moving his hips so that his own cock received friction between Maddox's cheeks. Maddox nodded in affirmation "I did, there was some really hot naked guy who held me all night long." Mark knew this was how he wanted to wake up every morning. He bit his lip as their orgasms flooded them at the same time. "Wipe it on the bed, I'll wash the sheets." Maddox whispered, not ready to leave the safety of Mark's embrace. Mark buried his nose in Maddox's hair as he held him and bit his lip, trying to remind himself not to move too fast. Mark wanted to go out with Maddox, to introduce him to Justin, his only friend. Well, there was Cassie, but she wasn't really a friend, and she already knew Maddox. "I want you to meet Todd." Maddox took the idea right from Mark's thoughts. "You don't have to if you don't want to, but he is my best friend and I really care about you and and I'm sorry. This is too fast, isn't it? I should have waited." Mark chuckled softly. "You know it's adorable when you start to nervous babble." Maddox flushed, happy Mark couldn't see his face at that moment. "Nervous babble?" He questioned. "Uh huh, every time you think you are breaking some gay relationship taboo you back peddle and get all tongue tied." He kissed Maddox's reddening ear. "Oh, I didn't know..." Maddox refrained from babbling further. "It's okay, baby, I like it. Means I can get under your skin." Mark ran his fingers over his teachers warm skin. Their cum was starting to dry between them. "I would love to meet him, and I want you to meet my roommate. I think I might need to warm him up to the idea, though." Mark knew he had promised Justin they would have roommate day on Saturday and sooner or later he would need to let Maddox go and shower. Sooner would probably be more practical than later. ~*~*~*~ Maddox had said his goodbyes to Mark, promising that they would meet up sometime on Sunday before they got back into the swing of things. He was about to head out of his door when he smacked into a familiar body. "Hey!" Trissta said, looking at Maddox's startled expression. Maddox looked at Trissta. She looked terrible, like she hadn't been sleeping. He skin was pale and there was no way a shower was in her recent past. "Hey." Trissta bit her bottom lip which, for once it wasn't smeared with lipstick, not even a trace of gloss. Maddox remembered meeting Trissta. She had been his best friend all through college. She sat next to him in almost all of his biology classes. She had been so alive, partying, and happy. She looked like death now. Maddox couldn't help but wonder if he was the reason the life had been wrung from her eyes. "Can I come in?" She whispered. Maddox held the door open and watched Trissta sit on the couch. "I'm sorry." He said softly. Trissta smiled "It's not your fault. I guess I knew all along. I mean what girl doesn't become best friends with the token fag and pray he turns out straight?" She snorted. "Deep down I knew. I married you anyway, hoping it would be different. Hoping we would be alright. I hate you and I can't imagine you are fond of me." Trissta started to sob into her hands "God, I was so stupid. I wasn't ready to be a wife, even." Maddox pulled Trissta against his chest, feeling her tears soaking his shirt. "I never cheated, you know. As much of a bitch as I am I valued our marriage." Maddox couldn't think of anything to say "I'm so sorry Trissta. I really didn't know until Mark." Trissta nodded "I know that. Wait... Mark?" She asked, tilting her head to look at her husband. Maddox nodded. "I, uh, met a guy." He blushed. "I was at a bar, feeling sorry for myself over the divorce and he... he took care of me. Like how I should have taken care of you." Trissta smiled. "Wish I could say I found that hot. I thought about trying a three way with you, but I knew who would get left out of that equation." Maddox laughed. "You know I wouldn't have gone for that, anyway." Trissta lit up a little. "Yeah, I know. Any chance we can still be friends? I think I am starting to do a little better. I came to terms with this sometime ago." Maddox hugged his small wife. "I would like to have you in my life again. You want something to drink?" Maddox asked. "I have your favorite." Maddox got up and poured Trissta some of the left over wine from the night before. He poured himself a glass and sat down next to her. "To friendship?" She laughed. "Better than 'to marriage'." the glasses clinked and Trissta took a big gulp. She froze once the taste hit her tongue, not able to swallow. Wide eyed, she stared at Maddox. She had hurt him and he her and somehow they were managing to move on. Maddox watched Trissta's cheeks fill with wine and he watched her as a look of panic came across her face. He watched her spit it back into the glass and set it down on the edge of his second hand coffee table. Trissta leapt up and ran to the bathroom slamming the door. The wine glass teetered before falling from the table and shattering on the floor. Maddox followed her to the bathroom. "You alright?" He asked, wrinkling his nose as he heard her make a horrible retching sound. Maddox knocked before opening the door and scooping Trissta's hair up into his hand. "What did you eat?" He questioned. Trissta's heart hammered. This was why she had come over. She needed to tell him, to shatter his life further. He had a man and she had this thing growing inside of her. Despite her partying ways, Trissta didn't believe in abortion. They had always been so careful and yet her she was throwing up in her soon-to-be ex husban's toilet. "I'm pregnant..." ~*~*~*~ Mark opened his door to find Justin working on some psychology homework. "You ready for roommate time?" Mark asked. Justin's face lit up. "Yes, hell fucking yes! Get me out of this room! I am so sick of homework. Mark nodded, not even bothering to put down his things. "Alright, come on then." He laughed. "Somebody got some last night." Justin taunted, poking Mark in his ribs. "So, when do I get to meet this Noah guy?" He chirped once they had reached the elevator. Mark froze and the color drained from his face. "Noah?" He questioned. Justin stopped. His roommate looked like he had seen a ghost. "Sorry, you kept crying out his name in your sleep last week." Mark tried to wet his mouth but there was no moisture to provide him with relief. "I d..did?" He questioned as the doors opened and they began to walk out of the building towards the parking lot. Justin nodded. "Yeah, something about I'm going to school, Noah, aren't you proud?" Justin decided to leave out the sobbing and shrieking that his roommate had woken him up with. A few of those times Justin had crawled into bed with Mark to hold him just so they wouldn't get into trouble for all the noise his roommate was making. Mark tried to swallow a mouth full of cotton. "Noah was my first boyfriend." He whispered, closing the driver side door. The noise startled him, he couldn't remember how he had gotten into his car. "Oh..." Justin said, now even more confused. Noah had to be abusive the way Mark carried on in the middle of the night. Maybe Noah had been the one to give him those scars. Poor Mark had gone from abusive lover to a lover who cared more for his job than Mark. "Maybe I should drive. We can go out to dinner, your favorite place. My treat." The roommates switched sides, but the damage had been done. The whole way to the restaurant Mark thought about his past. ~*~*~*~ Mark Jameson, as he had then been called walked into the lunch room. He waited for his Noah at their table. He had prepared a speech for Noah, a promise ring speech that perfectly captured their love for each other. It was the late nineties after all, times were starting to change. Just because they lived around people who didn't understand didn't mean there wasn't a place for them now. The real world had cast gay people and even though Mark and Noah weren't permitted to watch such 'trash' they knew people were starting to open their minds. Mark and Noah ate quickly in silence. Now and then they would exchange knowing looks, but what they both really wanted was to finish so they could sneak outside. Mark was the first to leave the table. He snuck out of the school building and waited for Noah in the little patch of woods under their tree. It was where they had shared their first kiss. The boys had carved their initials into the wood and spent hours under the shelter nature permitted them. When Noah showed up Mark's face glowed. Noah was flushed and walked into Mark's arms. "I love you, Mark." Mark smiled "I love you, too." He held Noah's as they looked at each other. "Noah if you accept this ring..." Noah laughed "Mark, I already have." He interrupted. Mark couldn't help but smile "Shh, you know how I am." Noah rolled his eyes and sighed in mock annoyance. "You probably have this memorized and want to get it perfect." Mark flushed. "Yes, I do. Now can I finish?" He played back. Noah shrugged and nodded. "Thank you. If you will accept this ring, Noah Langley, you would make me the happiest man alive. This ring is a promise to you, a promise that no matter what happens I will always be here for you. I will love you to the day I die and I will some day marry you if you will give me that honor. I am a better person because of you. You made me want to make a difference, to want to care about school and make something of myself. I want to become a lawyer and help people because of you." Noah snorted. "Still say you should come to med school with me. You would do the world more good as a doctor." Mark huffed. "Sorry, baby, continue." He apologized, enjoying how he could push Mark's buttons. "You are perfect for me and I know I will never love another man for the rest of my life. Will you promise to our future Noah?" Noah couldn't help himself now. He was tearing up at the thought of a future with Mark. "Yes, baby, I promise now and forever." Noah stood on his toes and the couple kissed. Heat radiated from their bodies as they pressed into each other. They were still so young and yet Mark knew Noah was his one. There would never be another Noah. "What the Hell? Fags!" A female voice sliced through the air and froze the young lovers in their embrace. The principle drug Noah and Mark apart to the school scolding and going on and on about what a disgusting thing they were doing. She proceeded to call both of their parents to tell them their sons had been expelled. Mark didn't remember feeling anything until the sting of his Father's hand shook him from his black hole. "You fucking little fairy! I knew there was something up with you and that ass licking ginger!" Mark's dad bellowed. Mark shook his head noticing his mother in tears. "Mom, mom it's still me. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm not your son anymore." Mark took a step forward and felt a slicing on his throat as his father pinned him to the wall. "You little shit, trespassing in my home!" He thought about pressing the knife harder, but that would only leave a nasty stain for his wife to clean. "My son died in a car accident, understand? You ever set foot in this house again and I'll kill you. All the neighbors will be talking and I plan to tell them just that. This.. This little incident is unnatural and I won't have you poisoning your sister." Mark nodded, eyes flooded with terror. He walked out of his old house and never looked back. Mark ran the only place he considered to be safe. Their tree, he knew as soon as Noah heard his father telling whatever lie he planned to tell Noah would come find him. He knew it, just knew it. He never could have imagined the plane rocking the country, stealing his future and his Noah. * ((I promise to explain more of Maddox and Trissta in the next chapter. You also get the rest of Noah. Chapter five is written and with my wonderful editor Schwarzwald so that should be up soon. Chapter six is almost written. I also have a vampire and werewolf story with another editor. Let me know if you would like me to post from both or just wait until I have AU wrapped up. Thank you so much for reading and please leave feed back it helps a lot. A special thank you to AzanianHeat for the email feed back. I took your advice and I think it really helps upcoming chapters. Thank you all and I hope you enjoyed.)) AU Ch. 05 Maddox looked down at Trissta. They had been so careful, well except for the month before the split. Maddox and Trissta in a last effort to stay together had tried to rely only on Trissta's pills. They had thought the skin to skin intimacy would bring them closer together. Maddox didn't know that Trissta had forgotten pills from time to time. With all of the drinking Trissta had been doing, in order to make her marriage work, she hadn't even noticed that with all the missed pills she was about a week and a half behind. "Pr-pr-pregnant?" Maddox stammered. His back hit the bathroom door as he slid down it. Trissta wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. "I know I took like seven tests before I went to two doctors." Trissta flushed the toilet and sat opposite Maddox. "How do you know it's mine?" He asked, hesitant now to believe Trissta's sudden desire to reconcile. "You slept with anything that had a cock!" Trissta dipped her head in shame. She had slept around like a medieval harlot once Maddox had moved into the spare bedroom and when he moved into this rundown apartment Trissta had gone wild. She hadn't cheated while they shared a bed "You are the only one who didn't wear a rubber. But I'll take a DNA test once the baby is born." The smart thing to do would be to kick Trissta out, and deny the child until she had papers. He was just starting to build something with Mark and this would certainly chase any sane college male away. "No, I trust you." Maddox said helping Trissta to her feet. Maddox always assumed the best of people. He was naive and trusting to a fault. His father had taught him to always do the right thing. It didn't matter if the baby was his. He would do the right thing and step up to the plate. Trissta laughed "You always were trusting Maddox." She walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge as if she lived there. Trissta took out a bottle of water and took slow sips. "Actually I came over to ask you something." She whispered looking down at her feet. Maddox leaned against the counter. Trissta really was a pretty girl; she just didn't do anything for him. She wasn't Mark. "Depends on what it is." Maddox looked Trissta over skeptically. "Come home?" Trissta asked looking up at Maddox. "I'm scared, I don't want to go through this alone." ~*~*~*~ Justin circled the car and opened the door for Mark. "Come on, this place has the best fried chicken." Mark smiled; Justin just seemed to have a way of making anyone feel better instantly. Noah was once again pushed far from his mind. "I thought you said I got to pick." Justin threw his hands in the air "So something I said did sink in. Come on, you would have picked here after you try the food. Normally I am against anything so fattening but I think you need some comfort food." "Thanks, Just." Mark was assaulted with the smell of lard and good old fashion southern cooking. "Hey, what are friends for?" Justin walked up to the counter and ordered a bucket of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, mac-and-cheese, and bacon green beans. "Making me fat apparently." Mark was drooling over the food. "Like your skinny ass could ever get fat. So tell me about mystery man." Justin bit into the chicken leg grunting a little "Damn that's good." "Well, his job makes it difficult for us to be together. He isn't allowed to date someone like me so we have to keep it secret." Justin rolled his eyes "You know it is so stupid how some companies can fire you for being gay. I mean, it's discrimination, the government just doesn't like to talk about it yet." Mark stopped chewing, Maddox's job didn't care he was gay they just had an issue with him being with a gay student. "Speaking of people dating who they shouldn't did you hear that new teacher is fucking one of his students?" Justin asked. Mark started coughing and gulped down his water. "Who?" He asked. "Your chemistry teacher, you know the hot one. Apparently this kid named James or Steven or something saw him sneaking in a really skinny girl." Justin leaned back waiting to see how Mark would respond to the scandal. "No..." Mark flushed, had someone seen him and thought he was a girl? Was Maddox cheating on him? There were so many thoughts racing through his mind. "Yeah, I mean he didn't see her face, said she was dressed like a boy. I was secretly hoping it was a boy. Not that I am cool with the fact he is plowing a student but at least that would mean there was some hope." Mark nodded "Hope for what?" "That he was gay, god Mark keep up. He is only the most drool worthy guy on campus. The off limits thing is sort of hot but I wouldn't recommend it. Just fun to pretend I guess. I would be pissed if he was passing that chick though purely on how good the sex was." Mark laughed nervously "Yeah well then the sex must not be that great." "What?" Justin asked putting down his stripped chicken bone. "I mean no one has above a C in that class right now." Mark covered. "Oh, guess it can't be true then. So anyway, about your forbidden man spill already." Justin leaned across the table in anticipation. Mark traced the grain of the wooden table. He couldn't help smiling "Well, like I said it has to be kept secret but he's really sweet. He's built like a god, but lets me be the top. He's just... he's so... you know." Justin nodded "Yeah, I know I saw the bicep in Gold." Mark flushed "So, enough about mystery man. How about you, see anyone you like?" Justin wrinkled his nose "I mean I have a few nice fucks here and there, but I'm not the settle down type." Mark nodded "I never would have guessed." "How do you like the food?" Justin asked. He didn't want his roommate dwelling on the fact that he was a slut. "It's good, like I said though I am gonna get fat." Mark leaned back in his chair rubbing his stomach to emphasize his point. ~*~*~*~ "I don't think that's a good idea, we are in the process of getting a divorce." Maddox squeaked. Trissta nodded and started crying "No, I knew it was a long shot. I'm just so scared." she sobbed. "I mean I have a good thing going with Mark and I don't think it's healthy. I mean I'll be here for you and the baby. We can work out visitation." Maddox was starting to feel uncomfortable. Trissta sniffled "I was going to put the baby up for adoption." Maddox looked at her for a moment "Adoption?" He shouted making her jump. "I'm not ready, you aren't ready. We can't bring a baby into this mess. I know you get a say as the father and all but... it is what I think is best." "What if, what if I take the baby. You can still live your life and I'll be a single dad. You know family is important to me Trissta." Maddox didn't know what to do. He wanted kids. The timing was bad but that was his baby, his son or daughter. Trissta shook her head "I'm moving to L.A. after the baby is born. I got an amazing job offer there. If you really want this baby, I'll sign the paper. What is your Mark going to say." Maddox hung his head. "I'll tell him. If he leaves it will kill me but it isn't fair to the baby." Trissta wasn't sure what to say "Ok, can I meet him? Maybe I can help smooth things over. It's clear you are crazy about him." "Why would you do that Trissta? I mean does it really matter to you if I have Mark?" Trissta nodded "Yeah, it does. We were close one Maddox, crazy as this sounds I do actually care about you." She hugged him. "Do you mind if I come to thanksgiving like always? Mark and I can get to know each other. I really want what is best for this baby and you. I just know I'm not ready." "I'll show you were are better than anyone else could ever hope to be." He had faith that Mark would be ok with this. He had to be. They were so perfect together. Sure their relationship was still new but they made it through the divorce confession and realizing Maddox was a teacher. They just had to make it through this too. ~*~*~*~ "Maddox, I need to talk to you." the department head closed the door behind him as he entered Maddox's office. "Sure John, what's this about?" he asked confused to see the stern look on the normally friendly man's face. "Well I want you to know I don't always listen to the student rumor mill but we heard something... disturbing and I wanted to bring it to your attention." Maddox's eyebrows wrinkled "What rumor?" "We heard you are sleeping with one of your students." the elderly man readjusted his glasses nervously. "Now, no one had made a formal allegation so we aren't investigating, yet. I just wanted to impress upon you the seriousness of this rumor. If we find out this rumor is true we will have no choice but to terminate you. Like I said no one has said anything to us formally yet, but if it comes to that we will have to investigate." Maddox nodded "I understand the consequences sir and I can assure you that there is no need to worry." He needed to figure out where the rumor was coming from and how he and Mark could be safer. Hurting Mark more than he had to was the last thing Maddox ever wanted to do. "Good, I am glad we had this talk." John smiled and left the chem teacher's office. Maddox sat down at his desk. The cereal he had eaten that morning was threatening to come back up. He logged onto his computer sending out an email to cancel all of his classes. The room felt so sterile to him now. There was so much going on in his life he didn't see how he could be a good teacher at this point. Maddox picked up his things and headed out to his car. He rested his forehead on the steering wheel. Maddox hadn't realized he'd zone out and his vibrating phone jerked him out of his trance. "Hey, my chem teacher canceled class. I wanted to make sure my boyfriend was ok." Mark's voice came playfully dancing through the phone. Mark's voice chased away all thoughts of ending the relationship. Maddox cared about him to much to do that to both of them. "I'm fine, just a lot on my plate right now. Can you come over tonight?" Maddox asked hopefully. "Yeah, sure, anything I can help with?" Mark's concern warmed Maddox's heart. "No, just be there for me tonight. I have a lot of sorting to do. My ex wife just dropped a bomb on me." Mark was confused but decided he would let it be. He had planned to tell Maddox about Noah sometime soon but he knew that would have to wait. He needed to be there for his man. Justin was a good listener he would ask him to talk about Noah. Maybe finally talking about him would make Mark ok with everything. "Of course" ~*~*~*~ "Jesus" Justin clutched his nose and dropped his mascara on the ground. "Shit Just you alright?" Mark scooped his bleeding roommate off of the ground. "Yeah... shit no... it's bleeding." Justin pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned back. Mark grabbed him "don't do that it will all run to your head. Pinch here and lean forward. Mark held his roommate against him. "Damn you smell good." He laughed still pinching his nose and leaning into Mark. "Thanks its old spice." Mark flushed a little "Well, now you don't need that nose job you were considering." He teased. Justin wiggled free of his roommate. "I didn't think you would be back." Justin's eyes darted to Mark with curiosity. Mark never missed class especially not chemistry. He claimed to not notice the drool worthy teacher but Justin knew as a healthy gay male that had to be a fib, for whatever reason. "Yeah, class was canceled and I have just had a lot on my mind lately." Mark sat on his bed settling in under the blankets. Justin unclenched his nose, felt the warm rush of blood and reapplied pressure before going to get a tissue. He sat on the foot of Mark's bed blushing at how stupid he looked holding a bloody tissue. "I really am sorry about your nose Just" Mark sat up a little straighter. "Any way I can make it up to you?" Justin laughed a little "Yeah, tell me what has been up with you these past few days. Maybe I can help." Mark nodded. He did want to talk about Noah with someone. It had been so long since he had given thought to his first love and he felt it was time to put Noah to rest. "I have been thinking a lot about the past. I don't think I ever really dealt with it. When I was younger, I fell in love with the boy-next-door." Justin nodded "Noah right? Here let me put some coffee on. It will make you feel better." Mark nodded. His demeanor had already changed. Justin noticed the shift and couldn't help but to wonder why his roommate wasn't talking to his new boyfriend about this. "Keep talking hun, I'm listening." ~*~*~*~ "My parents are sending me to military school" Noah looked up at Mark fighting back the tears. He wrapped his small arms around Mark's waist and sobbed into his chest. "You're my best friend Mark. I love you, I want to marry you. I want to adopt kids and a golden retriever." Mark held tightly onto Noah. He had always been smaller than him but now Mark felt like Noah was actually in danger of slipping through his fingers. "I know baby. We can have that someday. We'll get through this, we are stronger than this. America is at peace right now. I know it sucks but at least you won't have to worry about war and when your 18 you can come back to me." Noah tilted his face up to Mark, he felt so safe in his arms. "What about you Mark?" He asked knowing Mark's parents couldn't have taken the call from school any better. "I'll figure it out. I'll wait for you." Mark assured Noah. Noah shivered. Even the crickets seemed to be chirping their swan song. "Your dad made you homeless, didn't he?" "Yeah, but I have money saved up. Don't worry about me Noah, just make the most of your school years. I'll go to the foster care service tomorrow. There is one in the city." Mark wasn't sure if he meant it or not. He just knew Noah needed to hear it. "It's alright baby. I want you to go to that school and be the best you can be. Understand?" Noah nodded. He wished he could have been strong for Mark. "Mark, promise me you will always love me. No matter what that one day we'll be married. Please promise me you'll go to school and be good. Do the right thing." Noah looked over his shoulder knowing he needed to get home. "I love you Mark, I'll write." Mark kissed Noah and gave him one final squeeze. The next day he did as he promised. He walked for a few days. Starving and exhausted he made it to the city. ~*~*~*~ ...Mark felt his foster father's beer bottle break over his head. He got beaten on the street and abused at home by his foster father. "You worthless little faggot! Go get me and your mama another beer." Mark grit his teeth and obeyed. The Smiths were the picture perfect foster family on the outside. They had fostered children in order to look good for their business partners. They were good actors, shitty parents. Anything Mark did that didn't look good in the glass house was punished by beating. Mark risked injury every time he left to send a letter to Noah. Those letters were the only thing keeping him going. Noah told him about the school but he kept the mushy stuff secret. They were both terrified that the mail would be screened. Mark always worried Noah would find someone else. Noah always promised Mark he was the only guy to ever be his best friend. Mark told Noah about his law school plans and how he now wanted to use his brain to help people. Naoh wrote back about how a doctor would be bale to really make a difference. Mark always laughed. How Noah could get through the military school chem classes was beyond impressive. "You stupid little bitch. Did you send another letter to that fag friend of yours? You know I bet he had a drill sergeant drilling him real good." Mr. Smith laughed before taking a gulp of his beer. "No he hasn't" Mark seethed. He was fighting to keep his temper under control. "Yeah right. You're gonna be homeless soon. You really think that fucker is gonna stick around?" The rotund man stood up. "you won't ever amount to anything your disgusting." He spit in Mark's face. "Go to your room. I'm sick of looking at you." Mark hated them, he wanted to leave. He had never been the type to be pushed around. He fought the urge to leave every day. He knew he needed to stay. Without being in the system Mark couldn't finish school or get his GED. He put up with the abuse for Noah. Noah needed him to be a good person after he turned 18. They had a life to build together. Noah had turned 18 a week ago and in just seven days Mark would be 18 and out of the system. Noah was coming to see him. Mark was skin and bone but he had managed to save money from an after school job to rent a hotel room. He and Noah were going to take their relationship to the physical level and spend a good week together. The plane landed and Mark had packed all of his belongings in the same car he was driving when he went to college. He had splurged on it and he assumed he might be living in it for a little while. He was just waiting for the foster checks to stop coming. When that happened the Smith family had thoroughly disillusioned him. He knew he was going to be out on his ass. He didn't need anyone. He had a plan, he had Noah. Everything was going to be ok. ~*~*~*~ Noah crashed into Marks arms. He hadn't seen his best friend, and in his mind husband to be, since their Valentines Day disaster. Mark exhaled as the brick wall smacked into him. Noah had always been smaller than him with soft features. Now Noah was a man, toned and large just like any good soldier. His features had sharpened and his once shaggy hair was cut uniformly short. "You got big baby" He stepped back admiring Noah. "My sexy soldier" He smiled and leaned up on his toes to kiss Noah's firm chapped lips. Mark was by no means short and so the fact that he had to stretch to kiss Noah was different. Noah looked Mark over "You got thin" Noah looked concerned. "I'm gonna have to fatten my little house wife up." Noah caressed Mark's indented stomach. He could feel his ribs through his shirt. "Listen here military stud" Mark wagged a hand in Noah's face. "Just because you are bigger now doesn't mean you get to put me in a skirt and call me wife." Mark cuddled into Noah smelling the strong scent of Old Spice. It had never occurred to him that Noah would come back so different. He hadn't realized how much he needed to be held. Mark was always the strong one. "You were always the strong one Mark let me be there for you." He scooped Mark into his arms. Mark had paid for the hotel and it would give them some much needed catching up before Noah was shipped off. Noah had decided to stay with the army for a little until he could get them to pay for med school so that he could support Mark and himself. Had Mark been female he could have married him and supported him while in the military too. Mark handed over the key to Noah and they entered the hotel room. It wasn't overly nice, but Mark had spent hours trying to make it look romantic. "It's lovely Mark" Noah sighed, a week with his Mark lay before him. Mark was his again. Noah had promised himself that when he saw Mark he would give him the strong man he deserved. Mark had taken care of everyone his entire life. "See Noah, I saved your quilt. Your family tried to throw it away and I saved it." Mark motioned to the patchwork item sprawled over the bed. The room was dimly lit and Mark dashed through the room to light the candles. "I know it's cheesy but, I wanted our first time to be special." Mark flushed. Thankfully his foster father had only been interested in abusing him physically and mentally. He had never been sexually touched and he and Noah had planned to save that for each other. They knew what sex was and were not entirely new to the experience. "I love you Mark, I had something I wanted to talk to you about." AU Ch. 05 Mark looked at Noah curiously. He tilted his head "What is it baby, tell me. Anything you want I promise." Noah got a mischievous look on his face. "I want to top you this weekend. I want to be the one to hold you. Your strength Mark got me through more than you will ever know. I want you to see the man I became because of you. To do that I need you to lay all your love on me." Mark looked at his feet. He didn't trust himself to look at Noah "Please don't leave Noah. I'll work three jobs so we can make It." he pleaded. Noah shook his head and walked over to the bed leading Mark. He pulled his skeletal friend onto his lap. "I love you; I want us to have a good life. I want us to eventually be able to have kids and show them what love could rise from the ashes. To do that Mark I have to go to school and so do you. I promise I will do whatever I can to help you get through law school. We'll make one hell of a team, you helping the unfortunates with the law and me curing the blind. Let's not worry this week though, I'm here and your here. We won't ever have to go years without seeing each other again." Mark nodded. He was too speechless for words. He felt Noah's sure hands pulling his best shirt over his body. Despite his frail body, Mark kept his chin up. He knew the best thing he owned as a shirt was pitiful. He knew his small body was even more pitiful. Noah wanted to wince as Mark's shirt came off. He knew his lover had never been a large man, but now he was a shadow. He traced the scars and left over burns and bruises. "What did they do to you?" Mark looked away "It was the only way I could stay in school." Mark looked defeated. A broken smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He leaned into Noah's callused finger pads. The turn of the tables was nice, he had never been held. He didn't think he would want to bottom but now that was all he wanted. Noah swallowed "Baby, I didn't mean for you to make yourself available for abuse. I'm so sorry." Noah traced every rib in Mark's body. "I want you to feel good Mark. I should have protected you better." Mark ran his hand up Noah's shirt. "I do feel good. Being in your arms is more than I could ever hope for. Besides Noah I thought I was the leader." "Good, now that we are both adults we should have a lot more time like this. And I knew when I was shipped off that I would come home and take care of you like you took care of me growing up." Noah fished in his bag. "Just so happens I smuggled something here." Noah pulled out a fancy lotion from bath and body works. It was in a glass pump and promised to sooth and calm. "We have all week. I missed this body, and I plan to get to know every inch of you all over again." Noah twirled his finger and Mark smiled rolling over and arching his back. His rump in the air, he suggestively wiggled it. "Yeah, You gonna ride me all week, make up for lost time?" He asked looking over his shoulder at Noah. "I must tell you, I always thought this would be the other way around that I would top you. I haven't prepared for this babe." Noah swatted Mark's denim covered ass. "That was before I realized how badly I needed to pamper you and hold you. Beside stereo type says I'm bigger now and in the manly occupation." Mark rolled his eyes rolling back onto his stomach. "Well we all know I hate stereo types. Strip Noah I want to see how much your body has changed." Noah wiggled his eyebrows but got off of the bed and unbuttoned his shirt. He held eye contact with Mark the entire time he preformed his little strip tease. Mark had to fight the urge to drool over the muscular cut man before him. "Damn Noah you grew up." He traced the chiseled lines that showed just how much he had changed in boot camp. He reached out his finger to touch the line where Noah's marble statue physique sloped into something even harder. He traced the outline of his bulging cock. "Take your pants off Mark and I'll take mine off." Noah flushed. Mark still had that hold on him. He knew if Mark had asked for control back Noah would have gladly given it to him. He just wanted to give him this week next time Mark would take his place as the top. Mark slid out of his jeans. He paused, his heart was so loud he could hear it in his ears and feel it in his finger tips. Noah hadn't seen his cock since they were much younger and then it had only been heavy petting and a hand job here and there. "What if I am not as big as you remember?" He asked looking ashamed. Noah dropped his pants in response. "It's me Mark; I love you no matter what." He reassured. Mark wiggled out of his boxers looking up at Mark. He moved his hands nervously to cover himself. He sighed and dropped his hands as his cock pointed at Noah. He just hoped he was still big enough. "Just as sexy as all my wet dreams" Noah dropped down between Mark's legs and swallowed his hard cock licking his sack as well. He had practiced on objects to see how far he could get them into his throat. Noah had planned the weekend over and over again as he waited for graduation. Mark moaned his cock was instantly over the edge. "I'm gonna... Noah oh fuck Noah" He moaned trying to tell his absent lover he was about to cum. Noah moaned in response and swallowed as his mouth was flooded with Mark's pleasure. He looked up at Mark licking him clean and then swiping his tongue across his lips. It was his first taste of cum and it was better than he expected. "Damn Mark if I had known you tasted so good we would have done that as kids." He stood up looking down at Mark and pulling him into his embrace. "You better do that again all weekend." Mark was flushed over his entire skeletal frame. "Sorry, I thought I would last longer." Mark stumbled clumsily into Noah. He was shaking in his after orgasm bliss. Noah pushed Mark back onto the bed. "Relax; I think it's hot that you missed me so much you couldn't hold back." Noah kissed Mark deeply, his tongue licking the entire space of Marks mouth. His lover felt so small and helpless beneath him. It broke his heart and he would make sure Mark consumed a lot of food that night even if it was cheap fast food. Mark tasted himself on Noah's tongue. He ran his fingers all over Noah's skull. He felt every dent and imperfection and it just seemed to make him that much more perfect. "I need you inside me Noah. Please, I feel so empty." Noah began to rub Mark's ass realizing there wasn't much for him to prepare. "What happened to you wanting to be top?" Mark shivered "Please Noah, I need it. Stop teasing me I've felt so empty without you." Mark was now quietly crying. Noah licked up Mark's tears. "I know baby, I have been dreaming of nothing else for years. I don't know what I'm doing so tell me if I hurt you. I did some reading but..." Mark's back arched, offering his virgin hole to Noah. "Please Noah, I don't know how to bottom but I know I want to do it for you. Please Noah take me." Noah nodded and reached off of the bed into his pack. He pulled out a bottle of Intense by KY. "You're just full of surprises aren't you?" Mark moaned. Noah smirked as he squirted some onto his finger and Mark's anus. "I am in the army Mark. I am always prepared." Mark shivered as Noah slid a finger inside of him. He arched and thrashed as Noah found his prostate. He jerked un gracefully up as his legs twisted. "I found it!" Noah squeaked happily. "I didn't think I would be able to find it." He was so thrilled with his discovery of the gland that he didn't take notice of how loud Mark was getting. His cock had lurched back to life as Noah touched deep inside of him. "Fuck Noah, yeah you found it. Please use your cock, I need it." he whimpered. Mark's chest rose and fell displaying every rib in his body. Noah was worried he might hurt his frail lover. "Alright baby, relax for me. Noah guided the tip of his throbbing cock into Mark's ass. He moaned at the pleasant pain stretching from his opening through to his core. His body was stretching to accommodate Noah; he was giving up his most important virtue. Noah's large biceps flexed next to his head as Noah rocked slowly into him. Mark was so warm and tight. Yet somehow he felt soft and innocent. Noah made love to his best friend and only true love. "Cum with me Mark" Noah whispered against Mark's lips. Mark moaned and his nails drug across Noah's back. He bit Noah's collar bone and sucked. They had lost their virginity together. His sack tightened at the same time Noah started to shiver. Both lovers were overcome by a warm surge of bliss. Mark erupted all over his thin chest and Noah came deep inside of him. He felt Noah leave a part of himself deep inside his own body. Noah and Mark slept together naked the entire week. They had memorized each other's bodies again. "I love you Mark, I'll be back." "Please Noah be safe." ~*~*~*~ Mark watched in horror as what he thought was a bad pilot crashed into the World Trade Center. When the second plane hit the building his heart stopped. Smoke billowed out of the buildings and Mark just felt death creeping up his spine. ~*~*~*~ "I know Mark, I know." Noah listened into the phone. His lover was panicked. The path his parents had chosen for him was now altering his life. "Iraq" He answered. He hated that he was breaking Mark's heart. Noah was being deployed and if he wanted that fairytale future with Mark then he had to do this. ~*~*~*~ Mark had a P.O. Box for Noah to write to him. He had been in Iraq for over a year. Mark had tattoos now and had put on weight. He was once again the strong man Noah would need when he came home, the man who would be with him through medical school and hold him in the middle of the night. ~*~*~*~ Mark felt his heart ice over. He had been homeless or living in shitty apartments since Noah had left. He clung to everything of Noah's that he had. Their only week of love making stuck with him. He checked the newspaper everyday for the local fatalities. The letters hadn't come in a long time and Mark was assuming that things were just getting hectic over there. He was hopeful until he came to the Ls of the recent fatalities Langley, Noah. Mark fell to his knees a shuddering breath going through him. Just like that Noah was gone. Mark felt dizzy and sick. He felt hot and then cold. His world was over. That was the day Mark decided to live out Noah's dream for him. He started saving and applying to colleges with a premed program. That was the day Mark vowed he would not allow anyone but Noah to top him. He might fuck around or even find a new man but Mark would never love again. Mark would never let another man hold him or top him. That was the day Mark walked down to the court house to change his name. He was keeping his promise to Noah and he was taking his last name to be married to his best friend. That was the day Mark Langley was born in Noah's memory. *** Thank you to my wonderful new editor Tap. I can't believe how fast you got this back to me and your feed back was helpful. I know this chapter is short, but 6 is on its way. I am swamped with school work and working two jobs however with how fast the lovely Tap edits I should get chapters out faster. As always please leave me feed back. I don't like people saying this sucks go away and never come back but telling me what is wrong (besides grammar because yes I know, and yes I have tried to fix the problem) really helps me grow as a writer and helps me not only in these stories but also in future stories. Also thank you all so much for the positive feedback. I enjoy growth but I swear it makes my life to get a warm fuzzy comment. AH your comments always brighten my life. I tend to read them to everyone who will listen and let me babble. I read all the good comments you guys leave and I just wanted to say thank you. I know I am rambling so last little bit. Thank you all for rating. My goat was to get a story rated over a 4.6 and AU 4 got that and I just wanted to say thank you so much. Chapter 6 is long. Cassie comes back, Todd is in it a lot, and I hope it is worth the wait. Thank you guys for reading and I hope you liked this chapter even if the focus was in the past. AU Ch. 06 ((Sorry everyone there isn't any sex in this. I split the chapter and so the sex was cut out. I promise to make up for it in 7 and 8)) "He had been distant this week. Every time I tried to invite him out he'd find an excuse. I feel like he knows I'm hiding something from him. I mean I'm not hiding it on purpose; I'm just waiting for the right time to tell him. "It isn't exactly an easy thing to talk about" Maddox reasoned aloud. Anytime he was close to telling Mark about the baby and him being the dad or saying he was the dad no matter what the DNA said Mark would pull away and get a far off look in his eyes. Something was bothering him, Maddox just didn't know what. "I still think you should stay away from the whore. Why do you need to do the whole number one daddy thing?" Todd snorted still transfixed by the game on TV. It wasn't his team but football was football and he needed some sort of background noise. He wiped some chip grease onto his destroyed light denim jeans still stuck in his 90's golden high school days. "Because family is important to me, even if the baby isn't mine I don't want an innocent child to be put through an already over loaded system when I am perfectly capable of raising it." Maddox said rubbing his temples. "When did life become so complicated?" He pouted. He knew he would have to tell Mark. He hoped he would understand why it didn't matter if the baby was his or not. "Gross Todd, here I'll get you a napkin." "Life is always messy." Todd smiled seeing the lines of grease. Who did he need to impress with table manors? There wasn't anyone special in his life, and there probably never would be. "Look, Trissta is a pretty girl; she'll find some other poor sap to hold her hair for her. I get wanting the baby but is this really the right time?" Todd took the napkin and wiped his fingers before diving back into the chips. "Besides, this Mark kid has got you happier than I have seen you in years. I don't want you screwing things up like you always do by trying to be Mr. Nice." Todd wagged a now clean finger in his friends face "Mess things up with him and I will have to come over here and kick your ass." Maddox, despite the heavy conversation, managed to change to Todd's playful mood. "Kick my ass huh? You are awfully fond of a guy you have never met. Not to mention I could kick your ass any day of the week." Maddox folded his thick arms over his Nirvana T-shirt. "I seem to recall beating you in wrestling in high school even though you were on the team." Todd shoved Maddox they were both in great shape "Bull-fucking-shit you did. We can settle this right here right now." Todd got up and braced himself. Maddox rolled his eyes "The ego on you is sickening!" "Yeah well it's all I've got and besides I keep asking to meet him. You are just afraid that once he sees perfection, he won't want your scrawny ass anymore. I promise I'll let him down easy for you." Todd wiggled his butt back and forth trying to get his friend up and moving. If for no other reason than to shove him. Maddox tensed "He wouldn't go for you, he cares about me. Sit down, you look like an idiot!" Maddox stood with his chin in the air. Play fighting while mad wasn't a smart choice but no one insulted Mark. Todd arched an eyebrow. He had never seen Maddox defend anything let alone someone he was dating. "Chill man, I know he must care. You haven't put out yet and the guy is still with you. That has to count for something." He relaxed, sitting back on the couch and pulling the bowel of chips back into his lap. "I just want to meet em" Todd muffled through a mouth exploding with starch. Maddox felt his entire face heat with blood. "I told you, I want our first time to be special. I've never been with a guy before so it's like loosing my v-card all over again." Only with Trissta it hadn't seemed important to him. Having sex with a girl had been something he felt he just needed to do and get over with. No wonder everyone knew he was gay. "Not to mention I just got my medical tests back today. We've fooled around some but it's not the same as doing... IT." Maddox had just found out from the doctor that he was clean. He needed to go back in six months to make sure but he was given the ok. Todd shot his friend a come on look "It? How old are you 15?" "We haven't had sex, happy?" Maddox hissed. He hated how blunt Todd could be sometimes. He always needed to make people feel uncomfortable. Usually Maddox was kind and shy, this Trissta thing had him uptight. Todd continued to give him that knowing stare. He knew that Maddox and Mark hadn't been completely celibate. He didn't need details, but he did know his friend better than that. Exhaling his defeat Maddox continued "Okay, we've fooled around a lot. I just really care about him and I want sex to mean more than just the finish line." Todd nodded; Maddox always had been a bit of a romantic "So when do you plan to take him home? Now that you have the alls clear paperwork there's no more reason to wait." Todd nudged his knee into his friends suggestively. He was not going to allow the man who had been named the best thing to ever happen to Maddox slip through his friend's fingers. "You could bring him to my Halloween party?" Todd asked hopefully. "I can't take him home you know that. He is a student. My parents wouldn't approve and I still need to tell him about the baby. God he'll probably leave me before we make it through our first year." Maddox cradled his face in his hands. "So clearly a party with my old buddies wouldn't be a good idea either. Hell I shouldn't have told you, he means everything to me and if anyone finds out..." Todd sighed heavily "Alright, but I still think it would be good for you two to start doing couple things. What is the fun in having a forbidden romance if you always play it safe?" Todd rested a hand on Maddox's knee "And honestly Madd, your parents will love him. I would have dumped you already if I was him." "Why's that?" Maddox snarled. It hurt entirely too much to think about Mark leaving him. Todd was amused by his friend's possessiveness "You don't put out, you keep him a dirty secret, you keep big things from him..." Todd shrugged ... And you know he seems distant but you haven't even asked why." Maddox deflated. He knew his best friend was right. The good thing about Todd was he would always tell it like it was even if it hurt you. "I thought it would be best to give him some space. He knows he can tell me anything." Maddox felt like such a shitty person. Todd draped his arm over Maddox's shoulder "Bring him to Thanksgiving at your parent's. He can meet me, the family, and the bitch." He leaned back lacing his fingers behind his head. He sighed as if he had just laid out a master plan to end world hunger. "You can confess your secrets and lick his wounds. I think the family time might do him some good and might help him get over whatever it is he needs to get over." "She isn't a bitch." Maddox defended. "Trissta was a good friend to me. I lead her on and ruined her life. She wasn't ready to be married. I shouldn't have married her knowing my heart wasn't in it. It's my own fault that I got cheated on." Maddox regurgitated everything Trissta had led him to believe. Todd sat up straight bracing his hands on his thighs "Yeah and I told you not to marry her. I also told you not to stick your unsheathed cock in her either. How the hell would that have saved your marriage huh? It's not like you guys were trying to have a kid and now... oopsie looks like we should have listened to Todd. You never listen to me man. I know what I'm talking about. I knew you were gay, I think even she knew. Your heart wasn't in it, and now we know your fucking cock wasn't in it!" He laughed. Maddox's jaw seemed to unhinge "She didn't ruin my life. Trissta is the reason I met Mark. If I hadn't been so upset I wouldn't have been in Gold. I am the one who proposed to her. I should take responsibility. And stop being so damn crude." "Can't help it, and it is half her fault too. She had to say yes to make it an engagement and say I do to make it a marriage. Her eyes were so blinded by the diamond that your entire savings account bought that she said yes." Todd clenched his jaw. In his mind there wasn't a single redeemable quality to Maddox's soon to be baby's mama. Maddox scowled. Why couldn't everyone just get along. He had made peace with it all why couldn't they? Not to mention he still had to break the news to Mark and hope and pray that he would stick around. "Look, you are supposed to be my friend. Please just make this easy on me when you're around her alright? I know you hate her and think she is selfish and will be thrilled when she is in another state, but I want to raise the baby. Mine or not I don't want the baby going to some unknown family. Personally I think it's selfish of her for not wanting to be a mom, but I already trapped her in a sexless loveless marriage and I can't justify judging her. So, she is coming to Thanksgiving dinner so that we can work on our friendship and she can be involved or not in the baby's future. Please Todd, for me and my sanity just be nice. I swear if you aren't I won't be able to consider you a good friend." Maddox warned. Todd deflated "I promise I will be so nice to the wicked witch that you and Mark can have all the time you need to be alone. All kidding aside though, it really is an admirable thing you are doing for this baby. Most women can't even get a man to help take care of a kid that is theirs. You let her dump a kid that might not even be yours on you entirely with no strings attached." Todd looked over his friend, he wasn't good with tension. "Besides I am sure you can find someway to make it up to Mark, since you aren't bringing him to Halloween." Todd pushed his tongue against his cheek suggestively. Maddox flushed. Todd could be uncomfortably vulgar sometimes. "Stop, we wouldn't do that. Plus I told you why I couldn't bring him. I doubt he will even want to come after I tell him about Trissta." Todd wiggled his eyebrows "Yeah right, he stayed with you this long hasn't he. Either way I want to meet this guy who makes it so you can't wipe that goofy grin off your face." "I do not have a goofy grin." Maddox was a terrible liar and he was soon grinning like a homeless man on house arrest. It didn't last long "Yeah well Mark and I have to be really careful. People are already starting to wonder." Todd crammed some nachos into his mouth. "Like who?" "Like how about I had to have a conversation with my boss about rumors circulating about me dating a student." Maddox folded his arms. That had been exceedingly uncomfortable. "No shit really? What did you say?" Todd's eyes were wide. "Thank god the rumor is a female student so I didn't have to lie. Mark and I just need to be really careful. So that means no Halloween party, and having Trissta come around again might get rid of some of the doubt. I can't be accused of dating a student if it appears like I am reconciling with my wife. Triss is ok with Mark and..." "And you really think he will be ok with you palling around with your ex wife? Like I said Halloween." Todd saw the glare Maddox gave him "Alright, alright then tell him after he meets her, sees how much of bitch she is and how much of a fairy you are he shouldn't have any problem. Trust me, this isn't gonna go down easily" Maddox hung his head, "Todd, I have to tell him before that. I can't just go on pretending for a month that everything is alright. I plan to tell him before our next date." "What if he decides he doesn't want to go on the date after the Trissta bomb?" Todd asked. "Then, I come over shoot the shit with you and wait for you to pick up the pieces. Like always right?" Maddox asked hopefully. "Yeah, I always will man." He patted Maddox's back. "I just hope for your sake it goes well. This seems like the first thing in your life that is actually good for you." ~*~*~*~ "Please, Just, I don't want to go alone." Mark pushed out his bottom lip subconsciously. Three years ago on this day had been the day his beautiful sweet Noah had come home in a pine box. Noah's family had nothing more to do with him after the day he turned eighteen. The military had paid for a small basic military funeral. A few of Noah's army buddies had been there and Mark had kept his distance. If anyone asked, he was just a friend. He wasn't sure what would happen with "Don't ask don't tell" but he wanted Noah to have a good funeral. Mark remembered going back later that night. He fell asleep on top of the freshly piled dirt; Noah's quilt was all he had left. He would never look into his brown eyes again. Never to feel Noah beneath him like they had always planned. Noah would always be the only one to ever top Mark. He would keep that special. "Why not take mystery man with you? You really need to tell him Mark." Justin liked that his roommate came to him with all of his problems. However he knew that Mark not wanting to lower his walls for mystery man meant that maybe things were not going great. Justin wasn't sure why that made him so happy. He had no reason not to like the mystery man but he hated him. He wasn't good enough for Mark. Mark needed someone like Noah, some cute little thing with soft eyes willing to bottom all night long. Someone who would know that even the strong Mark needed to be held and topped. Justin shook his head. "I'm just not ready yet. I'll tell him on our date tonight promise." Mark looked so wounded Justin couldn't say no. "Alright, get your shoes. We'll stop by the flower shop first. I haven't gone to his grave in a while." Mark looked at Justin "what?" "Grave, I haven't been to a grave in a while and I didn't know if people still brought flowers." Justin led Mark out to the car. That had been a little too close. After picking up the flowers to put on Noah's grave Justin drove down all the familiar roads letting Mark tell him where to turn. Mark thought about how strange it felt to be in his old home town. He winced passing by the house he had grown up in. Worse still was seeing the empty swing out front of Noah's old house. He scooted down in his seat not wanting to remember. "Almost there babe." Justin rested a hand on Mark's thigh. Mark watched the cemetery come into view. He hadn't had the strength to come here by himself and he hadn't trusted anyone not to laugh at his weakness. They stopped at the cemetery parking lot and Mark walked proudly to the military burial site. Mark laid the flowers down against Noah head stone. He felt Justin's arm drape around him. They both had tears in their eyes. ~*~*~*~ "Dude, you need to chill out. I don't think he's gonna have a problem with this. We went through all the possible ways to tell him and you said it yourself it was better to tell him sooner rather than later. Things will be fine" Maddox whirled on Todd "Really? How would you feel if your new girlfriend said hey I'm knocked up by my current husband who I am not even divorced from?" Todd wrinkled his nose "Well, I told you to make sure the kid was yours first. You are the one who doesn't seem to care who the Y chromosome belongs to." "Not helping." He snarled, Maddox didn't even have the energy to argue that the baby would only have a y if it was a boy. "Relax, look you sure you don't want me to stick around? I mean this is only what, date two? I still think you should wait." Todd looked at his best friend hoping things would work out. It was easy to see how much Mark meant to him. Maddox hit the couch in defeat, feeling Todd sit next to him. "Yeah well, waiting feels too much like lying." "Any idea how you're going to tell him man?" Todd asked. Maddox nodded "Yeah, just rip it off like a band aid." Todd rested a reassuring hand on Maddox's "Alright man, well I'm gonna get going. He should be here soon right?" Maddox looked at the clock, it had to be broken. The damn thing was ticking way to fast. "Yeah." "Look, just... just tell him how you feel." Maddox tried to smile as Todd walked out the door. It didn't convince anyone and soon he was resorting to other means of making time pass. ~*~*~*~ Maddox's teeth tore through his fingernails looking for words that would make this easier. He knew what he was going to say, it was simple. "My ex wife is pregnant. She doesn't want to be a mom. She wants to be friends so she can make sure I am a good father. I need to be a good father because mine or not I want to raise the baby. I may never see her again, but I will have given a baby a home." He recited out loud. Simple, Mark was a college kid. He was young and had his entire life ahead of him. He wasn't going to stick around with a pathetic single father. An entire back of Newport's later, Maddox felt sick. He sat back down on his second hand couch unable to get comfortable. He couldn't honestly remember where the pack had come from, he had quit smoking years ago, knowing they were bad for his health. They didn't seem so bad now that Mark might be out of his life again. A knock on the door made Maddox go cold. He knew it was Mark. He knew Mark was expecting to go on another date. Maddox just hoped he would still give him the chance for that after the bomb was dropped. Mark already looked like a beat dog. Something must really be bothering him and it just made Maddox feel guilty. He noticed that Mark had on big sunglasses and a hood. It was adorable and a painful reminder how they had to hide every little aspect of their relationship. Mark however managed to put on a happy face. "Hey babe" Mark kissed Maddox's scruffy cheek. "Trying a new look?" Maddox's lip quivered, Mark had a pet name for him. He didn't deserve it, it just felt so good. "Sorry" He apologized trying to swallow and finding the task impossible. He knew he wasn't apologizing for the scruff. "What's wrong you look like someone ran over your cat." Mark walked in waiting for Maddox to follow. "Seriously babe, you're worrying me." "I uh... I need to tell you something." Maddox bit his already chewed lip, willing himself to just do it. Fast and painful just like a band aid. "Ok, tell me." Mark tilted his head. He had been planning to be truthful about Noah but now didn't seem like the best time. He reached out to wrap the stronger male in his arms and was confused when he backed up. "Did I do something?" He wondered if somehow Maddox had guessed about Noah. How he hadn't told him he couldn't love him because he had promised Noah he would never love again. Maddox would understand this was as far as he saw them going. Maddox shook his head "My... Trissta is pregnant." Maddox blurted out. His heart stopped. Mark's eyes narrowed. "Pregnant? Who is the dad, from what you told me I bet she doesn't know." Mark snorted, closing the door and taking off his hood and glasses. Maddox took a breath trying to get vital oxygen to his lungs. "She said it's mine." Mark wouldn't have had a problem with Maddox about to be a father. He had a problem with that bitch lying to him. He didn't have to meet Trissta to know she wasn't a good person. "You didn't believe her did you?" He laughed the idea was ridiculous. Maddox was silent. "Baby, how could she possibly know that? Tell her you want a paternity test. Problem solved. If it's yours well then we will deal with it." "I uh, I think it's mine too. If I don't step up and say its mine, and sign the birth certificate then I have no rights to it and she will put it up for adoption" Maddox watched Mark's face curiously. He knew if Trissta put the baby up for adoption, and it turned out the child didn't have his DNA, he would loose the baby forever. AU Ch. 06 "Why!" Mark snapped "Did you lie to me about how bad she treated you? All the men she slept with? How about all the drinking, was that just to make me feel sorry for you! That's pathetic." Mark backed up against the door angry and bewildered. A tear slid down Maddox's cheek. "She said I was the only one who didn't use protection. I told you about that on our first date. I'm clean, I just might have a kid. But I think it's mine, even if it's not genetically I would still want to keep it." "So, that's it huh? You just are gonna have a baby with your wife and be one big gay happy family! What about us Maddox, did I really mean so little to you? After all I was willing to risk just to be with you and you just let your ex-wife ruin all of that! I could get EXPELLED!" He snarled before storming out of Maddox's apartment. "After all the shit and I was going to tell you about..." He growled over his shoulder. It didn't matter now that he couldn't have Maddox, he couldn't even look at him. It sure as hell didn't matter that he was about to open up to him about Noah. "Mark please!" Maddox ran down the stairs tripping on the fourth one down... Mark heard him crash down the wooden stairs. He knew they were causing a seen and he flipped up his hood. Warm trails of tears were cutting their path on his pale cheeks. He hated himself for wanting to turn around and help the man he heard scrambling in the gravel. He couldn't be that weak, he had to walk away now before he admitted he had feelings. That would mean he would have to deal with those feelings, which he promised he would never have. Mark got into his car, and closed the door. His vision was blurred but he only had to make it back to the dorm. ~*~*~*~ Maddox chased Mark's car down the road until the car was out of sight. It was over. He had never seen anyone look at him like that. Hell blazing so violently in Mark's eyes. Mark's torment was his fault. Maybe he should just give him time and space. Maybe it had just been too much too soon. Some things were just not meant to be. Maddox stopped watching the best thing that had ever happened to him drive out of his life. His heart contorted from lack of oxygen and heartbreak. ~*~*~*~ "Hey babe, what happened?" Justin looked at Mark realizing his roommate was steaming. Mark had gone through so many emotions, he was exhausted. Anger seemed to be a safe choice and so he settled with that. He was pissed at Maddox. Pissed because Maddox had made him feel something and then decided to go back to his slutty ex wife for a kid that probably wasn't his. "He's pregnant! He's going back to her and is so deep in the closet he found Narnia! Stupid mother fucking bastard. I bet he got her pregnant too. Pregnant! Pregnant pregnant pregnant. As in pregnant with a fucking baby... Preg-Fucking-Nant!" Mark roared making Justin jump. "What? Mark, slow down. Come sit with me and explain please. Maybe I can help." Justin patted his new army bedspread. Camouflage was in, pink and glitter were out. He was still the femme fatal, but now he had camo, manly pink camo. As manly as pink and Justin could be. Mark gritted his teeth and sat next to his teddy bear roommate. "Mystery man, member how I told you he was married, going through a divorce but still married to the cheating cunt?" Justin nodded, he didn't like the word and assumed Mark must be pretty heated to use it. "Yes, I thought you said you were ok with that. I told you it would end badly but I won't say I told you so. I'm too worried you might bite my head off." Justin realized his attempt at humor was falling on deaf ears. "Sorry, continue." "Well she is F'in pregnant and he believes the baby is his. Why? Simply because the bitch says so. Her legs work like Wal-Mart doors, opening at the slightest sign of motion and yet... nope the baby is his. It has to be." Mark rubbed his temples the thought of Maddox trusting his ex wife at her word was crazy. It was crazy. "I'm sorry babe. Hey what are you doing for Thanksgiving break?" Justin offered brightly. "Staying here, I have so much to get caught up on." Mark groaned and leaned back on Justin's bed. Justin wrinkled his nose "You work too hard Mark, please? I promise I will put some meat on your bones and I'll feed you too." Justin needs to ask Mark to spend turkey day with him. At least that's what the above sentence leads me to think. But it's not written. Mark smiled "Sorry Just, I already put in to stay. Maybe next year all right?" Truth be told Mark hadn't brought up staying in the dorm yet with the Residence Life Coordinator. He just wasn't in the mood to pretend like everything was alright for another man's family. "Alright, I'll miss you boo boo." Justin kissed Mark on the cheek leaving a sticky pink mark on Mark's pale skin. Mark shook his head. Justin had so many ridiculous pet names for him. ~*~*~*~ Todd's cell phone started vibrating violently in his pocket. "Hello?" He asked already knowing by the screen that it was Maddox. Maddox inhaled sharply. He felt as though he had just been pulled from an ice bath and his lungs were just starting to regain function. "Madd, you there man?" Todd asked hearing only breathing. "He left. He left again." Todd nodded "Hang on; I'll be over in a bit." Like a true friend Todd was in his car and driving. It would take Maddox a long time to get over this guy. Maddox was still huddled on the steps where Mark had left him. "Come on, let's get you upstairs and cleaned up." Maddox walked with Todd into his house. "He's really gone" "You made the choice dude. I know you are doing the right thing but you have to deal with the aftermath." Todd poured Maddox some cranberry juice. "Here, take slow sips." Maddox hiccupped and held the glass with both hands. "I know I did the right thing, I just didn't want to loose him. He's better though right?" Todd didn't make a habit of sugar coating things. He knew Maddox cared about this Mark kid but he was in pieces over it. He hadn't gotten this emotional in the entire time Todd had known him. "He'll get there. You said he was sweet and good looking." Maddox smiled "Smart too. He's the only one passing my chem class right now." Todd opened up a coke "Triple threat" Maddox took another small sip of the bitter juice. "He'll meet a guy, fall in love, and have a great life right?" "Yeah, Madd he'll be ok." Todd flicked on the TV for background noise. Maddox had gotten it all out, now time for phase two, distraction. ~*~*~*~ Two weeks later and Maddox still didn't seem to be doing any better. "Alright, I am sick and tired of this slump you have yourself in. I found a gay bar and you are going to go and get numbers so that you can't crawl back into the damn closet." Todd hauled his friend up by his bicep. "See you are even getting soft. When was the last time you worked out?" Maddox pulled his arm away "Lay off. I am working on my lesson plan." Todd looked down "No, you are gazing at your ex boyfriends test. Now, we are gonna do your laundry, work out and go to a gay bar. The only reason you have to not go is that you are afraid I will get all the cute guys." Maddox jerked his arm away "You know for a straight guy you sure do think you can get a ton of guys." "No, I am secure in my masculinity and my sexuality enough to say stupid shit to cheer you up." Maddox looked at the test. "I'm just not into it. It's too soon and saying hey, I'm newly out, not divorced from my expecting wife and planning on being a single father is not a great pick up line." "You can't just give up. You could turn all those things into positives." Todd tried, still a stain of hope in his voice. "I think I'm just better being single right now." Maddox looked the test over and smiled "Only A in the class." Todd patted Maddox's back. "That's great man." He hated seeing him like this. Todd glanced at the last name making a mental note. ~*~*~*~ Cassie nudged Mark with her pencil "Hello, earth to gay man!" Mark looked up from his doodle and sighed. He just wanted to be left alone. Was it really that hard for Cassie to be quiet for one day? "What?" "Jesus you are out of it." She rolled her eyes "How the hell you are making A's is beyond me. Maybe I should blow the teacher." Mark jolted "I'm not doing that! Someone might hear..." Mark looked around the chem room to see it was empty. "Class is over." Cassie laughed "Yeah, five minutes ago. Listen, I know it is none of my business but are you ok?" Mark rolled his eyes "Yeah, I'm fine." Cassie arched an eyebrow "You don't look fine, neither does Dr. Cotedivoux. Seems like the past two weeks both you guys have been flying on auto pilot." Mark didn't reply. He couldn't seem to get his body to move, but he was not even going to acknowledge that he noticed Maddox seemed upset. That would mean he would have to think about why and he knew it was more than likely his fault. He couldn't be there for Maddox and Maddox had decided to play happy family with a bitchy skank. "Did you two have a lovers' spat?" She asked resting her hand over Mark's clenched fist. "We aren't together." Mark snapped. Cassie really seemed to know which buttons to push. Her chatter and nosiness was becoming unbearable. "Right" Cassie looked a little hurt that Mark wasn't going to admit she knew the secret. It meant he really didn't trust her. "Well... Um, did you and your man have a lover's spat then?" She tried a little less sure of herself. Mark knew he wasn't going to get out of this conversation easily. "I'm single. I dumped him because he wasn't there enough. He has his own shit and I have mine. No need to weigh each other down." Simple, it was the line he had told himself every night since he drove away. Cassie squeezed Mark's hand "Come on Mark, don't insult my intelligence too. You may be able to fool the rest of the people but not me. Now the truth lets have it." Mark sighed. Why not, Justin knew the Noah secret Cassie knew the Maddox secret might as well tell her the baby thing. "His ex wife is pregnant." Cassie waited "And?" She pushed knowing Mark was going to need a shove. "I hate you sometimes. And... he is going to take responsibility for it. Even though she cheated on him he is going to sign the birth certificate. He doesn't want to let her deal with it or take a paternity test. No questions asked just sure honey I'll be the dad, screw my boyfriend. He's just a piece of ass on the side." "Mark, I see the way he looks at you. Poor guy looks like this beat dog waiting for you to throw him some kibble. You know you looked at him for like a fraction of a second and he perked up for a good ten minutes." Mark was silent. There was no way mister perfect was still interested. Sure he had been Maddox's first anything male, but he was sex god drool worthy. A man like that didn't stay single long. He was done talking. "So what is the real reason you two aren't seeing each other?" She pressed. "I don't know, I thought it was because of the baby." Now he wasn't sure. Was it really that bad? Maddox had only said he wanted to raise the baby. He hadn't given him a chance to even explain why. Cassie looked at the door noticing people coming in. "Come on, I have a feeling this is going to be long. I'll treat to lunch and coffee at the student center." Mark crammed his things into his backpack not caring if something was ripped or damaged in the process. "Why do you care so much anyway? You gonna use this for some story?" Cassie laughed "Mark I write fiction. Why would I take this and write it when it isn't my story to tell?" Mark nodded, that made... some sort of sense. The cold November air ripped through Mark's thin Jacket. He had been kind of a hermit since the talk with Maddox and even Justin seemed to be getting annoyed. He was always trying to get Mark to go out. He had asked him to crash a few Halloween parties and had tried to hook him up with a few one night stands. "So where do you want to start?" Cassie's heels clicked against the brick walk way. It was the only thing breaking the silence between them. "I don't know. It is all just so damn complicated." Mark's hands were freezing and he pushed them into his pockets. "He told me his wife is pregnant." Cassie grabbed the door for Mark and held it open. He seemed too distracted to even notice he was about to walk through it. She steered Mark to the Golden Brew line as he talked to her. His hands drew complicated diagrams in the air. "I mean, he said he was going to divorce her. I don't usually kiss and tell but he even told me she was a slut so we used condoms. I suppose it could be his. I mean clearly the parts match up and what not. But I mean it's a baby like a whole baby and he just believes her. I think, he said something about her not wanting it. I don't remember. Point is his current wife is pregnant and she was supposed to be his ex wife soon." Mark was too busy talking in circles to realize Cassie had ordered them both drinks and bagel sandwiches. "Alright, so why does him having a baby bother you?" Cassie asked taking a long drag of her caramel macchiato. "It doesn't, it's just that he really believes the baby is his. No questions asked. She cheated Cassie, we... we used protection because he could have a SIT or STD for all we know. Plus what if he doesn't divorce her?" "Did he say he wouldn't divorce her?" Cassie asked taking a bite out of the ham and cream cheese bagel. "Not really. I mean he said... he said" Mark tried to remember. Something about wanting to be the dad so he could have rights to the baby. Cassie shrugged "So you are not talking to him because he is trusting?" Her mouth was full and she washed it down with another gulp, insistently pushing a steaming cup at Mark. Mark shook his head "No... maybe." He seemed surprised by the warm cup touching his hand. He took a small bite out of his sandwich not even tasting it. Cassie patted Mark's black denim covered thigh. "So he's a good guy, maybe he just wants to give the baby a father and since his wife told him it was his she probably thinks he's the best candidate for the job." Mark tensed. He really shouldn't have talked to Cassie about this. She had the ability to see right through you and right now Mark didn't want to have to think about that. "She wanted to put the baby up for adoption so he didn't even have to get involved. He wanted to!" Yeah, slowly but surely Mark was realizing what Maddox had really said didn't match up with the mini movies he played in his spare time. "I swear all the good men are gay or married!" Cassie laughed a little "Repeat what you just said in your head. You are mad because he is trusting and mad because he is an upstanding man willing to take responsibility for a baby that may or may not be his. He could have lied to you or hid it from you and let her put the innocent baby into the system. Be adopted or be in foster care." Mark winced, yeah he knew all about secret keeping and foster care. Maddox didn't know about Noah. He didn't know that Mark had scars from abuse in foster care, the very thing he was trying to save the baby from. He didn't know that Mark considered himself married, still even with his lover in the clouds. "Hit a nerve?" Cassie asked. Mark nodded damn her being able to see into people. "Yeah, Maddox would make a good dad." "You keep secrets from him too don't you? I saw you squirm when I said that." She pointed out. "Yeah, I do. He told me the truth about being married, maybe having a STD and the baby. He trusted me." Mark felt horrible. What had he done? "I think there is another reason you dumped him." Cassie continued, and I think you know it too. Tears came to Mark's eyes. "Can we go somewhere?" He asked. Mark hadn't actually cried in a long time and he sure as hell wasn't going to let the waterworks flow in public. Cassie nodded "Yeah, I haven't skipped anything yet and I think you need me more than writing 101 does." Cassie wrapped up Mark's hardly touched sandwich and handed it to him. She watched him deep in thought not even noticing his skin was prickled with the cold November air. He walked to the residence side of campus like a zombie, head down and not noticing anything. He didn't even react when they came to Cassie's dorm. She swiped her card and they were engulfed in the warmth. Cassie led Mark to her tiny room in the all girls dorm. It was the oldest on campus and her room was barely big enough for two people, so Cassie's parents had paid for her to have the entire room to herself. It had a classy look with white lace and country quilting. "I have the room to myself so pick a bed." Mark sat on the quilted one and felt Cassie's Blue x-ray eyes on him. He figured he might as well start talking. "I have to show you something." Mark lifted his shirt over his head. "Just so we are clear, I am not the type to get a crush on my gay BFF so showing me your chest isn't going to get me into bed. I prefer the big strong blonde type." Cassie teased. Sarcasm was one of her many weapons. Mark relaxed a little, talking to the babbling female suddenly felt easier. "I know I wanted to start with these." He said gesturing to the paw prints. "Okay, NL and MJ" she read. Mark nodded "They stand for Mark Jameson and Noah Langley." "Brother and lover?" She asked. Mark shook his head no "Lover and me. I took Noah's last name after..." Sound left Mark and his eyes spilled over with the pain he had been holding back. "After the car bomb, Noah was in the military." This was the first time Mark had opened up about Noah. He had told Justin vague details, but Cassie was about to get all of it. "We grew up together, he was the boy next door and I was the problem child of the neighborhood. Even back then Noah left hand prints all over my heart. He changed me for the better. Without Noah I would have ended up a drug dependant drop out. We were best friends. When we were ten I kissed him. I don't know why I did it but I did. All of the other guys at school bragged about kissing girls and their girlfriends." The tears were coming in full force now. "I gave him a ring, on Valentines day and we kissed. The school found out and we were expelled." Cassie pulled Mark's sobbing form into her body. Letting him just get it all out she rubbed his back. "Noah was shipped off to military school and I was put into foster care so believe me I know the baby would be better off with Maddox. I'm so selfish for wishing that on anyone, especially if the baby is half his." Of all the people Mark thought he would tell this too Cassie had not even been on the list. Now however he was happy he had chosen that seat the first day of class. "I told him I would never love another man. I made him a promise to a future we never had!" Cassie shushed Mark "Mark, I'm so sorry. I know Noah dying was hard but he never left you." Mark laughed "Yeah he did. I don't even think about him as much as I used to. I was too busy thinking about... him." "So the real reason you dumped Maddox was because you were falling in love with him. He presented you with conflict and you took the easy way out." Mark tensed love, was he really in love? "He would want to get married sooner or later. When that happens... Noah's name will be gone. He won't want me to have someone else's last name. I promised Noah, I was forgetting him." Cassie shook her head "No you weren't Mark, you were living. Noah loved you. He would want to see you happy and doing well." Mark nodded "But I was happy, I am going to be a doctor like he wanted and help people." "Maybe Noah sent Maddox to you to fill in the rest of the holes he left behind. I believe in fate and that our loved ones are looking down on us. If Noah wanted you sad and lonely you would never have met Maddox." AU Ch. 06 "I promised him Cassie, how can I love Maddox when I promised Noah I would never love again." Mark sniffled, his eyes felt hot and his bones ached. It felt so good to be held. "Loving Maddox doesn't mean you have to stop loving Noah. He was destined for greater things Mark." Mark nodded "He was an angel." "So it was his time. Maybe he was supposed to help you, shape you for Maddox and then go on to help others from up above. Think of all the things that had to happen to lead you to Maddox. It was a path Noah helped you carve, and he will always walk beside you." Mark nodded, he strangely felt at peace now. "I never told Maddox about Noah." Cassie smiled "I didn't figure." "I won't get a chance to get him alone until after Thanksgiving break." Mark wrapped his arms around himself. He had been so wrapped up in losing Noah again that he had forgotten all about not having a place to go. "Why not talk to him tomorrow before break?" She asked, "I'll go with you if you want. Then if it goes well maybe you can spend it with him and if not then you can come home with me and I'll glue you back together." "I already told my roommate I was staying in the dorm." Mark felt sorry for lying to Justin too. Since when were he and Cassie close? He immediately felt guilty for that too. She had been nothing but a good friend to him, so had Justin. He needed to treat them both better. "Well if your roommate's feelings over where you stay alone for a holiday are more important than Maddox..." She shrugged. "No, no I'll try." Mark knew he had to. Maddox had made him feel something again. Cassie was right. He finally felt at peace since that day Noah had been ripped from his arms and sent across the country to a military school. He was where he was supposed to be now all he needed was the hand he was supposed to hold. ***** So I listened and broke chapter 6 into three chapters and expanded each. I hope this moves a little more slowly. I tend to get on a roll and just go until my fingers fall off. So I hope I managed to take a breather and draw it out more. Please let me know if I did or if I didn't please point out what was too fast. Thank you again to my editor Tap. Please keep in mind I am terrible with grammar and no one can catch all of my mistakes. I make way too many for that. So I love her to death and think the world of her for all her help. AU Ch. 07 Todd watched Maddox move sluggishly around the room cramming things haphazardly into a bag. "So we are leaving Saturday morning?" Todd asked, wondering why his friend was packing almost a full week before they left. Maddox didn't answer he just moved to his closet. He had so much to do during the week that packing frantically the Sunday before was his only option. "Cause you said you have classes all day Friday?" He tried again. "Yeah, classes." Maddox answered picking out a black Calvin Cline denim jacket and then putting it back. "I wonder what Mark is doing for Thanksgiving?" Maddox hadn't even realized he was starting to say these things out loud. Todd sighed, he truthfully didn't understand why Maddox didn't just go talk to the guy. Sure, he knew his best friend was shy but damn this was a whole new level "Well you see him a few times a week why not ask him." He shrugged, his eyes following as Maddox continued to pack his clothing like a squirrel hiding its nuts for the winter. There was little if any rhyme or reason to the movements. Maddox looked over at Todd with his eyes narrowed. He was really starting to regret letting him in. If it had been left up to Maddox he would have just left Todd at the door. Still, the suggestion that he should do something proactive made Maddox stop in his tracks. Disgusted with his own cowardice he leaned against the wall, sliding down it, head turned to the paint chipped ceiling. "Cause, he want's nothing to do with me." Maddox snorted feeling stupid and weak. He ran his hands across the grimy off white carpet. Todd rolled his eyes. Clearly Mark wasn't any better off than Maddox, he couldn't just turn feelings on and off. Todd sat opposite his friend "Well why not fight for him." He suggested. Maybe the guy just wanted to see how much he really meant to Maddox. "Because" Maddox snapped. He didn't understand why his friend was so insistent that he make the first move. He didn't know Mark. Mark was the aggressor in their relationship and Maddox respected that. "Because why?" Todd pressed. He knew his friend didn't have a good reason to not talk to Mark. He was afraid, and justifiably so. It might not work out the way Maddox wanted and Todd knew that putting himself out there so soon after a divorce wasn't easy. Just the same, Maddox needed this push and Todd was starting to think Mark needed Maddox to be pushed too. That was why Todd had come over today. He was going to pester his friend until he did what was right. If not, he would regret letting Mark go for the rest of his life. Regret, a feeling Todd knew too well. "Because I am going to respect him and know when he says a baby is too much then a baby is too much." Maddox's voice was growing softer by the second. Only proving Todd's point that he wanted Mark back. God he hated proving Todd right. "What if he wants you to fight for him?" Todd pushed. He could see little white flags behind those familiar blue eyes. Maddox nodded, maybe Todd really was right. He didn't have much fight left to argue with him anyway. "Can't hurt to try." He stated looking at Todd with uncertainty. A victorious smile sprawled across Todd's face. He couldn't help but to be proud of Maddox for coming to that conclusion. "Is there anything worse than not having him?" Maddox shook his head, realizing the question hadn't required an answer. Mark was worth the fight, no matter how bloody the battle. ~*~*~*~ Justin eyed his roommate with piqued curiosity. It was two days before Thanksgiving break and Mark clearly wasn't with mister asshole mystery man, thank god that was over. It was starting to become difficult to be happy for them. "So you decided to come with me after all?" Justin asked. He might have to call his little fuck toy Jin and tell him to find another place to go if Mark was planning on coming home with him. Mark froze, he still hadn't told Justin yet. "No, sorry Just. I uh, I'm going with my friend from Chemistry class." He felt bad for the partial lie. He was planning on going to Maddox's to see... well he wasn't sure what he wanted to see but he had to try talking to him. Cassie was right, Mark loved Maddox. He wasn't sure when it had happened but it had happened. He loved him and using the inconvenience of a baby was no longer a place for him to run and hide. If Maddox rejected him, then he would take Cassie up on her offer to go home with her. Justin looked a bit shocked "Why?" He snarled. He realized how harsh it sounded and sat on his bed. "Sorry, I just really wanted you to come with me." Mark ignored the snapping and continued "Well, I am going to try and get Maddox to give me another chance." He straightened and watched Justin pout. "I'll come home with you some other time. I promise, this is just something I have to do and if it doesn't go well then Cassie lives really close by." Justin nodded "No, it's okay don't worry about it. I just thought you didn't want to come home with me. Drama queen moment passed." He smiled evenly. "So mystery man has a name now?" Mark didn't understand why his heart suddenly stopped beating. He trusted Justin didn't he? Why was letting Maddox's name out such a bad thing. "I do want to go home with you Justin. Honestly I was going to stay here but... I really screwed up this time. I really screwed up the last time I let him out of my life too. I need him." Mark laughed softly a blush creeping up his cheeks. Since when did he admit to needing anybody. He vowed to never need something or someone after Noah was so cruelly ripped from him. Justin hugged Mark's slender waist "I am sure mystery man will take you back. I mean look at you, you're perfect." He felt a small twisting in his stomach. Then something registered "Didn't he dump you the first time?" Mark laughed "I didn't say he dumped me I said his job wasn't good for us to be together. I let you assume what you wanted. I know that was wrong and I should have trusted you but I'm far from perfect. I trust you Justin, you are my best friend so I'm going to solve the mystery. Just please promise not to tell?" Mark asked. Justin nodded trust was a good thing, clearly what Mark and this Maddox guy had was on shakey ground. "I won't tell a single person." Justin's heart was beating faster "Cross my heart." Justin hadn't let go yet and he just looked up at Mark with innocent curiosity. Mark was going to tell him, this had to mean something right? Mark leaned down so his warm breath prickled against Justin's skin "His name is Maddox Cotedivoux and he's the chemistry teacher." Mark whispered against Justin's ear. Justin's eyes bugged out of his skull. His mouth dropped and his fists clenched. He jolted out of Mark's embrace his bed hitting the back of his knees causing him to sit. He was stunned. Justin's mind raced trying to piece it all together. He noticed Mark was staring at him uneasily waiting for an answer. "I'm happy for you Mark" He got up and hugged Mark firmly and then let go as he shoved his hands in his pockets sheepishly. He should have kept better control of his emotions. Justin knew he was better than that. Justin tried to make his smile look sincere "Guess that answers my gay prayer huh? He is a lucky man." He regained composure and managed to look happy for Mark, not a minute too late. How dare that teacher go after his roommate. What low life can't find a damn date in his own age group. He was abusing a position of power on a weak student. It wasn't as if the guy was bad looking. He could have his pick of men, real men. Not students. Mark relaxed, feeling the tension leave his body and fall into the floor. He knew Justin hadn't seemed enthralled with the idea of a teacher dating a student, but it was Justin. He felt his roommate hug him tightly everything was out in the open. The only one who he still had confessing to do too was his Maddox. He would tell him about Noah and Cassie and now Justin. He would tell him about the tattoos and scars. He would tell him all of it, including that he loved him. He just prayed Maddox would listen. Justin's phone vibrated with a vengeance in his pocket. He huffed his annoyance. "Rents are here. I'll see you after break. Good luck Mark." He blew his roommate a kiss and skipped out of the room, pink Victoria's Secret bags in tow. Mark grinned. Justin seemed fine, everything was going to be fine. ~*~*~*~ Todd nervously cracked his knuckles. He was out going, and easy to talk to, however, the phone call he was about to make was entirely out of character for him. He knew that. Perhaps that was why he was so nervous. Todd held his open cell phone in his hand. Mark's number already dialed. Really he should just let Maddox do this on his own but Todd knew that if what Maddox had with Mark was over Maddox would be devastated. In all honesty he wondered how his friend would handle a failed marriage and a failed relationship. With an exasperated sigh Todd hit send. He had to know where Mark stood on the whole thing before he pushed Maddox any harder about talking to him. ~*~*~*~ Mark was cramming the last of what he needed into a modest duffle bag. Justin had left about an hour ago and Mark was heading out to meet Cassie. His phone vibrated across his desk. He picked it up without looking at the number "Hang on I'll be down in a minute." "What?" The rough voice questioned through the phone. Mark looked startled. He held the phone away from his face and realized he didn't know the number. "Who is this?" "I uh, I'm a friend of Maddox's" Todd said uncertainly into the phone. "This is Mark right?" He asked suddenly nervous that he had memorized the number wrong. There was a first time for everything. "Yeah, how is he?" Mark collapsed on the unforgiving dorm floor. Uncertainty and regret plaguing him. He should have never let Maddox go. "Honestly, he's doing great." Todd paused. He couldn't tell how Mark felt and now the guy wasn't talking. He wasn't about to tell Mark that Maddox was pinning away for him, and planning to try and win him back. It would only make his friend sound pathetic if the emotions were not returned. As much as Maddox didn't want help, Todd wasn't going to let him walk like a dumb lamb to slaughter. "Oh... well I am happy for him then." Mark offered. His throat felt like it was trying to accommodate an ostrich egg. Why was this guy calling? To tell him what an idiot he was for running away from Maddox, again. He already knew that and sure as hell didn't feel like having that fact rubbed into his face. Maybe this time really was one time to many. Mark started to worry that maybe simply running to Maddox wouldn't be enough this time. His heart felt like a stone, falling to the decayed leaf matter at the bottom of a pond never to be seen again. He loved Maddox Cotedivoux; it had just taken him too long to figure it out. Todd smiled; Mark sounded so disappointed only an idiot would think it was over. "Well thanks for talking to me Mark. You're still in town right? I mean you didn't leave for home yet, did you?" "No, I was going to try and talk to Maddox and if... if he didn't want to see me I was going to go home with a friend. So I guess I'm just going home with a friend." Mark shook his head, why was he spilling his guts to a total stranger. "Why are you calling me ag-?" "Look Mark, I need you to go get a cup of coffee today at one alright? There is a really nice little place called Golden Brew, on Main Street. You'll be able to be there right?" Todd implored rocking on the balls of his feet. He wasn't about to let either one of them go home alone for Thanksgiving. He also wasn't going to spoil Maddox's plan to show Mark how special he was, all he was going to do was to provide a good meeting spot. Todd didn't even know the guy, but he felt he deserved a little help in getting his man back after learning about Trissta. "Yeah, I guess. I still don't se-" Mark was confused at the strangers sudden happy chatter and request for him to go to a coffee shop. However the guy claimed to know Maddox and that was more than enough to interest him in a quick cup of coffee. Cutting him off, "Good! Just coffee, one." and with a click Todd was gone. He sighed heavily. Well at least that was working out. Mark studied his phone for a second. "Alright..." He said to no one in particular. A quick cup of coffee couldn't hurt. Besides maybe Todd, Tag... whatever the hell his name was, was going to tell him something important about Maddox. Paranoia surged through Mark, hoping this guy didn't have plans to tell him to stay away from Maddox. He looked at his phone and realized he only had 20 minutes to finish packing before going to meet this friend of Maddox's. ~*~*~*~ Twenty minutes later, Mark's phone vibrated in his pocket, being a little gun shy after his phone call, Mark looked at the caller ID. This time it read Cassie "I'm coming just looking for my jacket." Mark flicked his tongue ring against his teeth. He was trying to decide if he should take Todd's advice. He wanted to see Maddox, which meant going to his apartment. Still, Mark's heart was fragile and maybe it would be better to see what the friend had to say. Cassie laughed "You need to think that hard about a jacket hun?" "Huh?" Cassie continued "Whenever you are really thinking in class you flick your tongue ring against your teeth. Makes a very unattractive clicking sound." Mark blushed he hadn't realized he did that. "Hey, you wanna get a cup of coffee before we hit the road and I pour my heart out so it can be stomped on? One of Maddox's friends called and I want to see what he wants before I make an ass of myself." Waiting for an answer Mark looked over at Justin's bed. His eyebrows pushed together causing a crease in his pale forehead to form. "Alright I'll be down in two minutes." Mark walked over to the bed and examined some strange dark spots marring the pink camo comforter. "Sure, and I really don't think you are going to have your heart stomped on, or that you'll make an ass of yourself. You should see the way he looks at you in class. Actually now that I think about it you two really should be more careful about that. I mean hell if I can figure it out someone else can too." The smile in Cassie's voice almost drug Mark's attention away from the stain. "Mmm I'll be down soon." Mark hung up. The stains were familiar to him; still he didn't want to assume that of his roommate. Mark clicked his tongue stud against his teeth and suddenly the few scars patterned across his ribs burned. Patters of self-inflicted misery. Mark hadn't done it often, but sometimes when the pain was just too bad he had cut. He recognized the stain to be blood and hoped it was just from a nose bleed. Why self-injury was the first though he had was beyond him. Noticing he was clicking his tongue ring again Mark's mood lightened. Damn that girl for pointing that out to him. His thoughts were taken to chemistry class, or rather his chemistry teacher, as he walked out of his dorm room for the Thanksgiving break. Thinking about what he was heading off to do Mark's heart somersaulted. He and Cassie were supposed to go to Maddox's apartment. She promised to be there as he begged for another chance. He wasn't good at admitting he was wrong and he was even worse at feeling helpless. Mark had always been on his own after Noah. Cassie had forced him to admit he needed Maddox in his life, that it was ok to love him and not forget Noah. Making a mental note to ask his roommate about the stain when they both got back from break, Mark chose to forget about it and focus looking for Cassie's car. He was going to go and try to fix things with Maddox which was more important at the moment. Seeing Cassie's black Charger he smiled and walked towards her fidgeting with the straps on his back pack as he went. It was a nervous unsure sort of expression, he was happy to go see Maddox again, but dredging the chance of rejection. "Coffee first" He silently reminded himself. Cassie looked Mark over the question burning in her eyes. "So, why are you suddenly so insistent on getting coffee?" "His friend called me. He said I should be there at one. He probably was calling to tell me that I should just leave Maddox alone." Mark winced and pulled his knees to his chest. "He probably has some really great guy by now. Maybe we should just go to your home, I don't think I want to hear what this friend of his has to say." Watching her friend deflate Cassie shook her head, "Nope, either we go straight to his house or we see what this Todd guy wants. "Either way I ain't letting you off the hook." It was disgustingly adorable how much both of them wanted each other, only a blind fool wouldn't notice that they both missed each other. "Coffee" Mark said flatly, that was the safer option after all. Self-preservation of the heart, it would be easier to hear a no from a stranger than Maddox. ~*~*~*~ "I still don't see why I should bring him coffee." Maddox protested. Todd shoved Maddox towards the coffee shop even though his friend wanted to go to Mark's dorm. "Because... you two met over coffee. It'll be romantic or some shit." Maddox rolled his eyes "... Or some shit? We met over a pool table and alcohol." The protest was evident in his short tone. "Besides, I want to catch him before he leaves." It had taken Maddox this long to work up the courage to go fight for Mark. Now that he had however he was in a hurry to have him back, or know for sure that it was over. "Besides, since when do you know or care about what is romantic heartbreaker?" "Always, besides you met him for real over spilled coffee. First day of class you made an ass of yourself and dropped it." Maddox flushed, that moment when he had realized Mark was his student had caused him to drop his coffee. "Ok, but I really don't think he'll remember that or think me bringing him a cup of coffee will be roman-" "Yes he will, and you two got back together the first time over coffee too. Your shirt is still stained. You really should just throw the damn thing out man." Todd persisted. He waited an extra ten minutes to make sure if Mark was coming he would already be there. If not then Todd would convince his friend to not go and it would be less messy. Maddox opened the door and was instantly assaulted by rustic music and the scent of coffee brewing. He moaned softly, he loved coffee and it usually seemed to sooth him. Todd knew him too well. Todd's eyes scanned the room, settling on Mark and relief flowed through him. He came; clearly he wanted Maddox as much as Maddox wanted him. "Why don't you ask him yourself if he remembers?" Todd stated turning Maddox so that he saw Mark. Todd happened to notice the very attractive blonde sitting across from The slender male. ~*~*~*~ As Mark turned around, Maddox looked into his eyes seeing all the fear he felt reflected there. On auto pilot Maddox walked over. "Hey Mark." Maddox said softly. Cassie looked up to see her teacher and sexy hunk friend. Deciding Mark and Maddox would like some alone time and she would enjoy some alone time with his friend. "Hey, Todd was it? Why don't you buy me a latte?" Agreeing with Cassie Todd offered her his arm and led her away so Maddox could slide in where Cassie had been sitting. Mark twisted his napkin feeling so small in the oversized coffee house chair. "Your uh friend told me I should be here." Mark knew now that Maddox was here to tell him it was over. He had to be. Still, he had to try something "I'm sorry Maddox, I shouldn't have come and I'm sorry I ran... again." He blurted out; this wasn't how he meant for it to go. "No, no I should be sorry. I shouldn't have let you walk away Mark. I wanted to give you time to think and I thought that you might never..." Maddox was shaking with all the nervousness that had built up. Clearly fighting for Mark hadn't turned out even remotely close to how he planned. Still he had to admit, Todd was right to tell him to come here, this was a better place to be rejected than a dorm room. AU Ch. 07 Mark released all of his anxiety, Maddox had missed him too. They were both scared and unsure. He reached out touching Maddox's cheek, bringing his gaze off of the floor so he could see just how much he meant to Mark. "I know baby. You don't need to be sorry. You just really scared me. I'm not exactly the commitment type. You mean a lot to me Maddox and the idea of a baby and how much I care about you just scared me. There is so much you need to know about me and why I am the way I am. I never thought I would be over my first love I was going to come to your apartment and tell you all of this myself but your friend told me to come here." Mark dropped his hand to his lap and looked over in time to watch Cassie make Todd blush and smiled at his feet. "I'm really glad he did." The comforting warmth of Mark soothed Maddox. "Me too, I wanted to come to your dorm room and see if you would take me back. I kinda had this whole fantasy where I swept you off of your feet and carried you to my car so we could drive off into the sunset and to my home for the holiday." "I'd like that." Mark smiled "Although you are gonna have to settle for sweeping me off my feet in a coffee shop. I guess it's better than me bending you over a pool table." Mark felt heat flow over him remembering that first drunk night. He never imagined it would have turned into this. Maddox smiled warmly, remembering that first night too. He wanted to laugh for realizing the next morning that he might be gay. "Yeah, thank god for Todd then too. I thought I washed your number off. I guess it wouldn't really have mattered since I would have met you in class." Mark stood up and kissed Maddox's head, combing his fingers through that dark hair he missed. "We should probably tell those two that all is well again." He wanted to take Maddox back to his apartment and spend the whole night becoming reacquainted with his lover's body, but that would have to wait. He tugged on that dark mane playfully Knowing Mark was right; Maddox nodded and stood up from the engulfing chair. "So, do you maybe want to come home with me... meet my family?" He tilted his face to Mark hoping to see the warmth there once more. Sitting in class Mark had seemed so distant and so cold. It was almost easy to convince himself that they had never happened. Feeling warmth run to the extremities of his body Mark nodded "I would love to spend the holiday with you." He remembered his own family even if it was bitter. "Is your friend coming too?" Mark asked wondering if Cassie would be really upset going home alone. She and Todd, Tom, seemed to really be hitting it off. Maddox nodded "Yeah, he's been my best friend since we were really young. My family considers him family." Noticing how flirty Todd was being with Cassie, Maddox had a feeling his perky blonde student would also manage an invite. Confirming his suspicions to be true Todd laid his arm over Maddox's broad shoulder "So, you two all good?" He asked his eyes flicking back to Cassie after making sure his friend was alright. "Yeah we are good" Maddox smiled knowing what Todd really wanted him to say "Do you have any plans for the Holiday Cassie? If you don't you are more than welcome to come on our little road trip to my parents' house." Maddox felt Mark's slender arm wrap possessively around his waist, causing him to grin like the Cheshire Cat. If at all possible the already overly perky blonde perked up "Yeah I'd love to come! Thanks Dr. Cotedivoux" Cassie chirped, if this meant she didn't have to go home to be a doll for her picture perfect family then she was thrilled. Not only that but Todd was sexy as hell and if she got to be smushed in a back seat with him for a little well it was a win win. Maddox wrinkled his nose at the formality and Todd snorted "Please, call me Maddox. I don't plan to be your teacher forever and if we are hanging out I would rather it be as friends." Cassie nodded "Thanks" Todd's whole day seemed to have just gotten better "Alright well now that we are all going we should probably take the Durango. Come on, I know someone who still needs to finish packing" Todd teased playfully punching Maddox in the arm. He had wanted him to have something to take his mind off of Mark if things hadn't gone well and so there was still a lot to do before they left. ~*~*~*~ Jin squirmed as he struggled to breath, feeling small cold fingers closing in around his slender neck. "Please... please stop" He panted wanting to have air back in his lungs. His boyfriend sneered down at him. "Shut up you little bitch boy. I want you to fuck me, fuck me hard." The Korean's eyes go wide. He had never done that before and the idea terrified him. "Why don't you just do me? You like doing that, I promise I'll be good. I'll even do the work you won't have to-" "Shut up" Jin was cut off by a snarl. "You pathetic sissy boy. You are going to fuck me and that is final." Jin bows his head in agreement, stroking his cock in an effort to please his hot headed lover. The little pixie sneered at Jin "God you are so pathetic. I wouldn't even call that thing a cock. Guess it is true what they say about Asians huh, whore?" Blood rushes to the surface of Jin's body making his fair skin heat with shame. He knew he wasn't big, but he had no idea he should be considered pathetic. Wasn't six average? If so he was right at average length. "I'm sorry" With an exasperated eye roll the blonde removed his own clothing. "Yeah, this is probably pointless I doubt I'll even feel it. Still, you look like him." He smiled thinking of the man he really wanted. He imagines holding his slender frame, tracing his tattoos. He gets onto all fours and looks back at Jin "Well? You gonna do this or are you completely useless?" Jin attempts to think of every attractive male he can think of. By some miracle he gets it up and walks behind his small lover. He supposes he really shouldn't refer to him as a lover but it's the closest he has ever come. At least sometimes this guy is nice to him, and touches him gently. He might call him Mark as he does it but... Jin pushes into the other teen, hearing him groan "Fuck Mark... ahhh that feels so good baby." "I thought you said Mark bottomed that-" "Shut up Jin, you're ruining this for me. I was wrong, Mark tops that fucking teacher; HE is the pussy boy." The little twink thrust back into Jin smirking as he set him off balance. Without needing to be corrected twice Jin moves in and out of the smaller male. His warm insides should feel incredible around his cock but somehow they don't. Jin felt as though his shaft was being scaled sliding through the messy insides of his boyfriend. He listens as the boy he cares about moans another's name. Jin moves his hips on auto pilot thinking of other guys in his classes. His mind envisions the sexy blonde in his Middle Eastern politics class. A smile spreads over Jin's face as his hips continue to rock into the moaning boy on the bed. He felt his insides clenching and watched the small hands grip the bed sheets as his lover came. Jin slipped out and crawled onto his bed holding his arms open. He was left unsatisfied as usual. Still, Jin knew his role well as the petite blonde cuddled up to him "I love you Mark." Jin responded on auto pilot "I love you too Noah." The blonde smiled and ran a hand up Jin's body, seeing what he wanted to see "Good boy. ~*~*~*~*~*~ I'm back, and I missed writing very much. Please keep looking for new chapters. Thank you to my editor Tap. I wrote this chapter 4 times and let me tell you it was a struggle to get everybody where I needed them without it being childish. Tap suggested the coffee house trust me you don't even want to know how the first three times went. Anyway I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. Before you bash me for my grammar I already know thank you and already have an editor, who I know can't catch everything. I should start pulling the strings soon and tighten everything up so that it comes together. I don't see this going more than to chapter 13 at most. Please if you can give me your thoughts on Noah, Justin, and Jin. There has been some ideas for a spin off but I wanted to know what you all thought. Also thank you to butter_bugs cannd and WittePiet for all of the comments and support. I know there are many of you that comment and I love to get feedback good or bad. I'm going to try and respond to it and be more involved and on top of things. I hope you guys enjoy how this all wraps up. AU Ch. 08 Cassie had been the one to suggest that they take separate cars back to Maddox's place. Being an intuitive person, she had seen the longing looks and explorational touches Mark and Maddox had been giving one another. And she thought she had felt Todd's eyes on her.... She had an inkling about why Todd might be gazing at her, and smiled a little to herself. The logical thing to do, then, had been to suggest the obvious plan. "Why don't you two boys go back and pack what needs to be packed, and I'll get to know Todd a little better so I won't be a third wheel?." She'd turned to Todd and grinned. "I'll let you drive my Charger a bit, if ya want?" Todd hadn't needed further encouragement. Eager to drive the pretty girl's very hot car, he turned to Maddox with an unmistakable puppy-dog- eyes expression.. "Sounds good to me. I could use the help." Maddox ticked off a list of things out loud, half to Mark and half to himself, that needed to happen before he could make the trip home. There were a lot of items on the list, and he hoped he could get them all done in time to be with Mark, before they'd all have to pile into the SUV and begin the trip to his parents' house. ~*~*~*~ Mark's feet tapped nervously as Maddox drove. He gazed unseeing out the window; questions about what would happen when they got back to the apartment ran repeatedly through his brain. He knew what he wanted ... needed, even. He fervently hoped Maddox would welcome him into his arms, and even better, his bed. But he didn't have high expectations for either outcome. His heart struggled to beat in his chest as if he was hanging over the edge of a rollercoaster speeding along a steep downward slope. After what seemed like an eternity, the two former lovers pulled up at the familiar apartment. Mark glanced over at Maddox ... and all of his worry faded. He let out a whoosh of breath he hadn't known he'd been holding,. grinning at Maddox. "You look about as worried as I feel," and reached over to lace his fingers reassuringly with Maddox's. He massaged the cold digits, bringing life back into them. "Your hands are freezing,." he purred. Something just felt right about taking care of the larger male. His man. He leaned over and grazed his warm lips across the tips of Maddox's fingers, then kissed each digit. "I was afraid you wouldn't take me back." Mark confessed quietly, leaning back a little as he spoke. He hadn't dared to look into the eyes of his lover while confessing his darkest fear. He knew he needed to tell Maddox about Noah, but right now was a time for healing wounds, not ripping the stitching out of healing ones. Maddox had been instantly stilled by Mark's warm lips. He hadn't noticed how cold his fingers had become until Mark's warm mouth had enveloped them. He sighed a little, relieved that this was just as difficult for Mark as it was for him. "I was afraid you wouldn't come back," he reciprocated in confession, wiggling his fingers and feeling the new warmth. His thoughts shifted to his glove box. Tucked deep within it was something he had been wanting to give Mark for a long time. Looks like I'll have to wait a little longer to give him the papers....Maddox's hand was being tugged rather insistently by his lover. "Come on babe. It's cold out here. Let's go get you packed; and if we are lucky, Cassie will keep your friend busy long enough for me to show you just how much I missed you." He looked suggestively between Maddox's legs, knowing his words were sending heat all over his lover's body just as his lips and breath had warmed Maddox's fingers. Leaping out of the car as if it suddenly contained a rabid dog, Maddox grinned. "We should have enough time." Mark couldn't help but laugh at his lover's sudden hurried enthusiasm. "Missed me that much, baby?" He teased giving Maddox's nose a light tap. "Of course, and for reasons other than sex,." Maddox retorted a little defensively. "I know, but you could have used your hand to ease some of the ... tension." His gaze and his hand moved down along the front of Maddox's tented jeans. "I couldn't. I missed you too much and it just didn't feel right." Mark's smiling lips were pressed against Maddox's, a bubble of laughter forming "I'm sorry baby. Let me get you inside and make it all better." The door knob twisted in his hand;, his predictable lover had left it unlocked, and the pair stumbled through. They stood in the foyer with the door closed; Mark locked it behind them, and then moved close. Maddox felt Mark's hands slide up his chest. "I got tested," he whispered, wanting those hands to never move, and to move everywhere, at the same time. His hands wandering down over his lover's sculpted body, Mark lowered himself to his knees, then looked up with bright eyes, and smiled. "I'm guessing you are clean." He unbuckled Maddox's pants and slid them down his thighs. His breathing picked up, the body in view that he had so desperately missed. He watched as Maddox nodded and then inhaled sharply as Mark's mouth suddenly engulfed his cock. Licking the sensitive head, Mark pulled off just long enough to say, "Good, I can't wait to be inside of you,." then swallowed the big cock again. Gripping Mark's shoulders, Maddox lurched forward. It had been a long time, and he wasn't sure he would last long. "I want you Mark," he whispered, then groaned with the effort of holding himself back. Mark licked the sensitive underside before tonguing the slit. "Not right now baby, I want that to be special." He bobbed on Maddox's thick length, his only goal to make his lover feel good. He wanted to feel that closeness again. He swallowed against Maddox's shaft and bobbed, slurping unapologetically as he deep-throated his man. The sensations Mark was causing, left Maddox without words. His body quivered, feeling that powerful tongue press and lick and swirl all around him. It had been too long since Mark had been with his lover, and he missed every inch of him,. his scent, his taste, the texture and feel of his skin ... everything about Maddox was perfect. As much as he wanted this to take hours, he knew their time alone right now was limited, and so he made it his singular goal to make Maddox feel good. They'd have time to make up for the loss, later. Pulling out every trick he knew, Mark soon had Maddox almost screaming in pleasure. He looked up mischievously into his lover's unfocused blue eyes. It was so to see the look of pure lust- soaked intoxication overtake his face and force his jaw to slacken, his eye brows knit together in deep concentration while blood colored his cheeks as he erupted in Mark's mouth. Mark had never enjoyed the taste of cum but this time he swallowed full mouthfuls, realizing Maddox really had held out for him. After a series of small after shocks Maddox finally came back down to earth. He hadn't realized how hard he'd been biting his lip or how his hands had all but embedded themselves while gripping, vice-like, Mark's shoulder blades. He flushed again at the sudden realization of the completely vulnerable position in which he had allowed himself to be placed; yet he trusted Mark not to hurt him. "You really needed that," Marked teased, giving Maddox's softening member a final kiss before tucking it away again. He stood up and leaned in close, helping Maddox with his belt. Maddox's hands eagerly sought out Mark's aching member. "Not yet, I want to wait. I wanted this to be just about you." He closed his eyes and adjusted himself, suspecting that later on he would likely regret denying himself a release. He felt movement and opened his eyes to see his big man kneeling down in front of him. "That's not fair, I want to. I missed this just as much." Maddox rubbed his nose and chin up along Mark's zipper line, then gazed up imploringly. "Later love, I promise you we will have time later." Mark stifled a deep groan, as he stepped back. As Maddox reluctantly stood back up, Mark gave his lover's rump a love pat, "Come on, let's get you packed so I can meet the family," and then tried to hide a reflexive shudder at the thought. For one thing, meeting the family was a big step in their relationship. And for another, he didn't have a good track record with regard to family dynamics. ~*~*~*~ Mark watched the trees, and fences go by his window. Every one they passed meant they were that much closer to their destination, and caused his fists to tighten just a bit more, his breathing to quicken and heart to pump louder, threatening to plummet into his stomach and be consumed by its energetic churning. He had never been the family type, certainly not after experiencing the tragedy of his own family and how it had turned against him. He was therefore dreading this meeting now. Maddox seemed so sure that his family would be fine with meeting Mark, and furthermore that being near Maddox's pregnant, and probably disgruntled, ex-wife, would be fine. Visions of horrible scenarios popped easily into his head. Take the scenario in which Maddox's parents slammed the door in their faces, disowned their son, and tried to rip them apart.... But when any of the horrible visions began feeling so real to him that he thought he might as well jump out of the car now and save Maddox the trouble, Maddox seemed to sense Mark's turmoil. At that moment, he would reach over and give Mark's hand a comforting squeeze. That reassuring tie to reality: it was as if Maddox knew when he needed it most. The comforting squeeze made Mark smile. Maddox had grown so much since their first night together. He had gotten stronger, more comfortable with himself. Mark kissed his fingertips, silently praising him for his progress, strength, and conviction to persevere. He had to get back to that himself. Even if the worst happened, Mark would still have his lover, of that he felt sure. They would get through it together. "Almost there." Hearing this, Mark's heart sank. All the peptalking he had done moments ago seemed for naught. His skin grew clammy and his stomach churned all over again, as the gravel of Maddox's parents' driveway crunched under the tires. The driveway took a curve under an archway of trees, and a picturesque brick house came into view. Two fat chestnut ponies munched grass in the front yard, and picked their heads up as if to determine whether or not the noise makers were a threat, or were only mildly interesting. Did the newcomers have any sweet juicy apples...? Mark distracted himself for the briefest of moments, as he looked at them and smiled to himself, deciphering their alert, doe-eyed expressions. Turning to gaze back at the house and then at Maddox, though, the churning sensation returned full-force. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, we could just say we are friends or something. You don't have to come out; not now, not on a holiday, anyway...." They'd parked the car off to the side of the driveway. Less than a minute later, they heard rather than saw Cassie and Todd drive up and park nearby. Maddox turned to Mark and shook his head, then tilted Mark's face toward his own. He wanted Mark to see the sincerity in his eyes, to know how calm and sure he felt. "It will be fine. I promise." He pressed his lips to Mark's, effectively silencing any further objections. "Promise," he repeated. Mark sighed, and nodded. Maybe Maddox knew better. Maybe he had been one of those lucky enough to grow up in an accepting family, that would be okay with what his own had not been. His family had claimed, in disgust and outrage, that his sexual orientation was an everlasting sin, and a stain on the family name. But then again, if Mark thought back far enough, he could remember a time long ago when he too had thought one's parents would always love their children. Mark had learned, through terrible experience, the unlikelihood of one's parents' unconditional love. He hadn't ever known parents to be okay with their own children being gay. It was different, when it was your own child. Mark wanted to just stay in the car, or run. But then if I don't stand beside my man at this terrible time, no one will. Maddox deserves a hand to hold, and a boulder to lean on. He swallowed his fears and opened the car door. The sound of gravel under his feet felt disconnected amid the ringing in his ears. He felt a heavy hand clap him on his shoulder, and his body jolted as if the hand had carried a high voltage electrical charge. "Trust me, Ma will love you." Todd smiled reassuringly at Mark. "The only one who didn't know Madd was in the closet, was him. That's why we all knew Trissta was a bad idea." Mark nodded, feeling like a puppet on a string. "It'll be fine." He repeated this over and over again under his breath, so much so that his walking rhythm mimicked the rhythm of the words in his head. Both rhythms stopped suddenly, and for one awful moment all was silent. With one hand, Maddox opened the door and with the other he gripped Mark's hand and pulled him inside. Cassie and Todd followed behind. Once they had all stepped inside Todd closed the door, at which time they all were instantly assaulted by the heavy scent of cinnamon and cloves. "Ma?" Maddox called. "We're home!" He felt Mark grip his hand a bit more tightly. A small women came around the corner, her long raven hair swept up off of her neck with a butterfly clip. She wore a Starbucks apron that was covered in flour, and her high cheek bones seemed to wear even more flour. If she wore makeup, it was hard to tell. She wrapped her arm around Maddox's waist. "My baby! And this must be Mark." She hugged him, and Mark felt himself begin to relax. "Too skinny, Maddox you need to be feeding this boy," she chided. Still sparkling with energy and welcome, she moved her hugging to Todd. "And who is this lovely lady?" She asked, hugging Cassie and kissing her cheek. "Hi ma'am, I'm Cassie." "Please, call me Rachel." She waved them all toward the room from which she had flown. "Come, sit in the kitchen and fill me in on everything." Cassie and Todd followed Rachel into the kitchen. Mark looked at his lover. "You told her already?" He asked, somewhat baffled. Maddox nodded. "I was hoping we would work something out. Besides, if I hadn't Trissta would have." He shrugged. "They're getting along better now that we aren't together. Triss is a different person actually. She is talking about staying in town." He knew he was babbling. All he wanted was never to lose Mark again; but he needed to talk to Mark about the baby.. If Trissta wanted to share custody, it was in the baby's best interest to do so, and it also meant he needed Mark's approval. He knew he was asking a lot of Mark. They needed to have a long talk, about a lot of things. But ... right now was a time for healing wounds, not ripping the stitching out of healing ones. The words suddenly formed in Maddox's head, and he nodded inwardly, as he stood watching his love, waiting for some kind of sign from Mark that he was bearing up well with everything, so far. The air Mark had been holding in, finally left him with a 'whoosh' and he leaned against Maddox. Regardless of Trissta 's presence, he had the guy, and his family seemed to be accepting. This really seemed like it might be okay. He nodded, briefly giving Maddox a rare smile, and together they walked into the kitchen. They stood in the large room and watched Rachel and a slender blonde making pie crusts. Hearing their footsteps, the blonde turned around and eyed Mark coldly. She watched him somewhat calculatingly for a moment, before, her face finally warmed with a smile as she spoke. "So you are my replacement, huh?" She extended a slender hand. "Trissta." Encasing the petite hand in his own, Mark felt like he had just survived being buried alive. Yet another breath he hadn't known he'd been holding whooshed out of him, like it was the first breath of air he had taken in years. This was a family, albeit an oddly structured one. "Sorry," he replied. "I'm Mark." Trissta shook her head. "Don't be, everything is good now. I was upset at first but I'm happier now. I know it wasn't something that was wrong with me." "Oh, there is something wrong with you alright." Todd grumbled taking an apple off of the pile and biting into it. Cassie swatted at him. "You would know for how often you check me out," Triss griped at him, only half-teasing, then turned back to finish her pie crust. "Guys, get along please. We have guests," Rachel scolded. "And so I'm not a guest anymore?" Todd mock- pouted. "No, I'm pretty sure the day you started calling me Ma, like you were one of my own, you stopped being a guest." The back door opened and a short man walked through, his hands covered in dirt. "When did you boys get here?" He kissed Rachel on the cheek and went to the sink to wash his hands. He turned his head to look their way as he washed, "I'm assuming the young man is Mark, and Todd who did you bring?" "Cassie, sir." "Please call me Dean." He smiled as he moved out of the room toward the stairway. "I will be right down, I just need to shower." "Maddox, why don't you show Mark to his room? And Todd, you and Cassie can sleep in the tree room...." Todd flushed. "I'll sleep in the basement if it's alright." Rachel turned around wide-eyed, giving Cassie an apologetic look. "Oh god, dear, I'm so sorry; I thought..." Cassie, true to her good- hearted nature, just chuckled. "It's fine, honest I'd have thought the same thing. I'm a friend of Mark's. Here just in case you guys turned out to be homophobic." Rachel smirked. An odd expression, considering what had been said, Mark thought. "Love is love," Rachel continued. "I wouldn't dream of forcing anyone to be with someone just because of what organs they had." She waved her hands and turned to finish the pies. "Anyway. Go clean up, and we will have dinner. Nothing fancy, since I'll be cooking all day tomorrow." ~*~*~*~ Maddox's fingers laced with Mark's, conscious of Mark's gaze, his hips. Maddox swayed a little extra as they walked up the stairs together. Mark felt guilty, but after the time apart he wanted to be all over his lover, to have as much skin on skin as he could possibly get, as soon as possible. He'd focused on Maddox and his maddeningly swaying hips all the way upstairs, so hadn't noticed anything about the house or what room they had entered, until after he'd heard the door shut behind them. "Your parents don't mind that we sleep in the same room?" He'd asked, feeling like a young kid in a bedroom where a parent would soon come in, screaming at their transgressions. It felt doubly strange, since the only other one like this that he had ever been in before, had been Noah's room. "I'm an adult and we care about each other. As long as I'm not treating their house like a cheap motel they don't care." Mark sat on the bed, sinking into the bronze down comforter. He looked at the walls, and then his eyes came to rest on his lover, who sat in a desk chair, watching him. It was amazing how far they had come. He had been so afraid that their relationship wouldn't survive the turmoil. He finally felt safe, and his eyes brimmed with tears. "What's wrong?" Mark felt himself being tugged up into a strong embrace against Maddox's chest, and he buried his face into the safe smell, resting his forehead in the crook of his lover's neck. "Nothing, I'm just ... happy." Mark fought back more tears, promising himself that he wouldn't continue to cry. "You have a real family. I didn't think ... I ... it would be so easy." Maddox was reminded that Mark had never talked about his family. He wondered what had happened to make him think so darkly of families. "I'm glad it was easy. I didn't want you being with me to be difficult for you." AU Ch. 08 "I would have stayed, but I knew my family would love you. My mom will probably try to make you gain ten pounds before you go. My dad will like you too. We should probably go meet him, when you' are ready." Mark nodded. He'd needed this moment with Maddox. He took a deep breath, collecting himself, and followed Maddox back down stairs. ~*~*~*~ Dean was sitting at the table, munching on the candy corn that had been set out as part of the table decorations. "Hey, son." He stood up and gave his oversized son a man- hug, complete with clapping him on the back. "Hey Mark." He extended his hand, "it's good to finally meet you." Rachel listened unobtrusively as she stood nearby in the kitchen, shelling a big pot of shrimp for tonight's dinner, and tomorrow's appetizer. ~*~*~*~ Dinner went by smoothly. Mark had sandwiched himself between Maddox and Cassie, though really no one made him feel uneasy. He was surprised how well he and Trissta had ended up getting along. She wasn't as bad as Todd had made her out to be. He supposed he would be upset if he had been married, only to found out the guy he loved wasn't interested in him after all. The divorce had been messy, he'd heard, but it was good they were all able to get along now. The shrimp was fantastic. Mark ate so much he actually felt bloated afterwards. The contented feeling had grown during dinner and extended long after it had ended, as they all watched a movie and played board games together, drinking the hot cider and cocoa Rachel had made. He'd been especially relieved after they'd asked the usual questions asked of the new boyfriend when he is brought home for the first time. Nothing had been asked beyond his plans for the future, and what he was doing in school. He'd been surprised that no one had asked him about his family. Maybe they had just sensed that it wasn't a happy topic. As the night went on, Mark felt Maddox getting heavier beside him, leaning on him. Rachel and Dean had long ago gone to bed, when he heard Maddox's first' soft snore. Trissta laughed a little. "You two really do make a good couple. I'd have pushed him off long ago." She stood up, stretching. " 'Night, you guys." Cassie stood up to go to bed, too. Todd sprawled out on the couch vacated by the two women. "Alright, take your man to bed so I can get to sleep before the snoring sets in." Running his fingers through Maddox's hair, Mark kissed him and nudged him to semi- consciousness. Then they walked up the stairs, to bed. ~*~*~*~ Once in the room, Maddox had awoken a little more, having been up and moving around. He stood sleepily, listening to his bedroom door click behind him, and then enjoying the feeling of his lover's slender fingers hooking and lifting up the hem of his shirt. "Come on, you could at least make getting you ready for bed a little easier." Lifting his arms, Maddox felt the shirt being peeled up and away from his body and over his head. "I told you it would work out." "I know, I just always assume the worst of families." Maddox was fully awake now. He slipped Mark's shirt over his head, kissing his neck in the process, then moved to undo his belt as Mark's hands went for his. He looked into Mark's eyes briefly as he said softly, "I'm here if you want to talk about it." "I know." Mark kissed his lover's forehead, then let his gaze roam, looking him over now that they were both down to their boxers. His body still heated up the same as it had the first time he had seen Maddox. "I'm glad you are here." "Me too." Maddox ran his hands over Mark's back in long strokes, then stepped over to the bed, pulling him down onto it. Mark sank into the pillow top and groaned. After sleeping mostly on either a dorm bed or hard floors, this bed was a welcome comfort. Once under the covers, it was as if his body gravitated to the heated furnace that was his lover. "Do you want to talk about it?" Maddox thumbed Mark's lip, and wrapped his arms around his slender waist. Somehow, Mark felt small to him, now. Mark wanted to; he needed to talk about it, actually. He had to tell Maddox about his family, and also about Noah. Mark felt horrible for abandoning him when Maddox had revealed his secret. Mark had been weak in keeping his own secrets, and weak in not being able to handle the news of Maddox's lover. "I'm sorry." Maddox held him tighter. "I left you every time even a little bit of trouble came up." Mark felt shame wash over him. "It was because I have my own demons. Ones I think you might not be able to get over." "I would stay with you through anything." "I had a lover, my first and only lover." Mark bit his lip, "until you. I mean I do love you. Even if you aren't ready to say it or if you don't feel it." "I love you Mark, no matter what you have to tell me." "You aren't mad that I had someone before?" "No, I had a wife before you. What matters is now. Nothing in your past would make me afraid of the future I would like to have with you." Mark took a deep, shaky breath. "When I was younger, I fell in love with the boy next door. His name was Noah. We started by being best friends, and we grew up together." Maddox just let his lover talk. Truthfully it didn't matter to him, but he had a feeling Mark needed to get something off of his chest. "Soon enough we were curious. I remember talking about girls and what it would be like to kiss one. So we kissed each other. That's when we realized we only ever wanted to kiss each other. We snuck off one day and got caught kissing in the woods. My parents kicked me out." Maddox felt warm tears streaming down his chest. "After that it was sleazy foster homes. A few were nice people, then they found out why my parents didn't want me and did the Christian thing by sending me back. Noah's parents shipped him off to the military. I didn't see him again until years later." Mark snorted. "I was already used and filthy by that time. All I could afford to give him then, was time in a gross cheap motel." The room was silent. Mark's fingers trailed up and down Maddox's chest. He listened to his heart beat knowing if Noah had come home after his second tour of duty, he wouldn't be here right now. He wouldn't be in these wonderful, safe arms, listening to the heartbeat of a man who loved him. It was strange how this felt right, as if the man who had loved Noah had lived during a different lifetime. He still loved Noah, and always would, but their time had passed. It was almost as if he could feel Noah's hands on his back nudging him, telling him that this was how it was meant to be. Noah had given him the strength to get here. He had been what had pushed him to make something of himself and become a better person. "Then he went back, and didn't come home again." Mark took a deep breath and looked up into Maddox's eyes. "He died, in battle. He was the one who wanted to help people and become something. He is the reason I met you. I'll always love him. I took his last name, and he will always be part of me." Mark looked at Maddox, wanting him to say something. He hoped Maddox understood there was enough love for both of them. Hours seemed to pass and then Maddox's lips were on his: firm with the conviction of his love, and gentle with patience and understanding. "I would never ask you to give him up in your heart." Maddox placed his hand over Mark's chest. "As long as you say there is room in here for me, that is all I need to know." Pressing his lips and body against Maddox, Mark assured him that there was more than enough room. He knew he would always love Noah, and that everything that happened had had to happen, in order for him to feel this happy now. He sensed that Maddox truly understood, and was willing to stick by him. Mark cuddled up to his man, his fingers moving to Maddox's waistband. He wanted to touch him, to have him go further than they had before. He wanted tonight to be special. It meant a great deal to him that he had been accepted into the family, and it all added up to Maddox being a permanent part of Mark's life. Maddox seemed to read what his lover was thinking and he lifted his hips so Mark could roll his boxer's down. "This is ok? I mean its good timing and a good place." "Yes, I've wanted this for so long." Maddox knew they were talking about more than just hands and mouths. Tonight he would give himself fully to Mark. The walls were finally down. "Please." He whispered tugging at Mark's bottom lip with his teeth. Mark ran his hand up and down Maddox's inner thighs before finally squirming out of his own bowers. His breath caught as their skin touched and the heated organs slid between them. "Do you have any lube?" Mark asked realizing Maddox probably didn't and that their plans might have to wait. Exposing his neck and stretching out his torso Maddox stretched to his bedside table and pulled out a half used bottle. "Needed something to use when I was in high school." He whispered as if it were a great taboo to have it. The bottle quickly transferred hands and Mark squeezed liberal amounts onto his palms. He rubbed some off onto Maddox's hand and wrapped his hand around his lover's heated shaft. He thumbed the thick mushroom head, caressing his slit. As a hand wrapped around his own shaft Mark gasped. Maddox had definitely gotten more confident. He felt him stroke his shaft in long firm strokes. Mark's slender hips bucked into the hand having not cum yet now felt like a mistake since he doubted he would last long. Mark's slender finger's moved to Maddox's thighs and he felt his lover's muscles tense and flex. "I've heard the first time hurts." "I'll be gentle" Mark assured him, feeling Maddox quiver under him. "Trust me, if it hurts too much we can stop." As if to prepare himself for the pain Maddox occupied his mouth with the skin on Mark's neck. Mark started by teasing his lover's balls. Circling them with an infinity sign and tracing up and down the darker center. On one of these downward stroke he moved to Maddox's entrance, touching the soft taught flesh. "Relax" "I'm trying." Mark Decided to switch tactics, and instead he focused on his lover's body. He touched his thighs, rubbing them up and down he could feel him clenching again and shifted the bed creaking loudly beneath them. He smiled a little. "In my head this seemed so much more smooth and romantic." "I'm sorry, I've never done this before. I mean me and Trissta but... What if I'm not good or if it hurts too much?" In an effort to silence Maddox, Mark captured his lips. "Relax. Let's just let whatever happens happen." Mark moved from Maddox's lips to his jaw, down his neck, and then focused on his collar bone. He nipped the skin, leaving a small red mark and then kissing it. His hand traveling back down his lover's chest and rubbing his thighs pleased when Maddox didn't tense. He kissed him as a reward which had the effect of causing him to relax further. He didn't want to jinx anything Maddox's hands were occupied with his body his mouth was occupied with Mark's and his lower half was relaxing and enjoying the teasing. Mark slipped a finger inside of him, moaning at how tight and warm he was inside. However it surprised him to feel the vibrations of Maddox moaning into their kiss. He hadn't even touched his prostate yet. "Like that, baby?" He teased. "It feels strange, but good." Maddox gasped as Mark added another finger and scissored them. "Keeping quiet isn't going to be easy." He shifted a little and then his hips bucked up as the tip of Mark's slender finger touched something inside of him. "F ... fuck!" "Shhh.... We can stop?" "Fuck no." Maddox twisted on the bed whimpering a little as a third finger was added and he started to feel some pain at being invaded and stretched. The kissing kept his mind off of the unpleasant feeling. "If we stopped I might not relax again." Mark nodded, and whispered, "I want to be inside of you." Maddox parted his legs further feeling Mark move between them. "Please." Making sure he was completely covered in lube Mark pushed the head of his cock against Maddox's virgin hole. He pushed about an inch in, just enough to get his knobbed head inside of the hot channel and then paused. His lover had hissed and groped for the sheets. "You alright?" "Yes, just go slow. I didn't...." He inhaled sharply. "I didn't think it would hurt this much." He gripped Mark's ass. "Please, move ... I need you in me. I want to feel it." "You are going to be sore tomorrow." "I want it. I've heard it gets easier." Mark nodded, he knew pulling out now would make what Maddox had already gone through pointless; and it would feel good once his cock touched Maddox's prostate. "It does." "Go slow." "I will baby, I will." Slowly, Mark slid in. He nipped and sucked, raising a dark bruise on Maddox's collar bone. He wanted to moan loudly but knew it would wake up people in the house. Maddox focused on breathing. It felt like his insides were being smashed into each other to make room for the invading member. Covered in sweat and panting heavily, he felt Mark's body rest against his, and groaned. "You alright?" "Give me a minute." Mark stroked Maddox's face, waiting for him to adjust. When his breathing slowed Mark moved a little, taking it as a sign that the pain had lessened. This time when Mark moved, Maddox nearly screamed. Mark's cock had bumped against something inside of him and it sent tidal waves of pleasure through Maddox's body. He couldn't stop the involuntary shiver as his jaw slackened. He knew he had hit it and he moved again in exactly the same way. Maddox bit his lip to keep quiet. Mark knew he could move now, and not cause too much pain to his lover. He rocked his hips into Maddox slowly pressing against him. He felt his lover's legs wrapping around him. Maddox rocked against Mark, getting that wonderful feeling again and again as their rhythm picked up. He fisted the sheets and growled. His hips bucked up, almost dislodging Mark. His cock was so hard, he felt it was going to burst like a balloon given too much helium. Each bump inside seemed to only add pleasure and pressure. Mark knew he wouldn't last long either. It had been too long, and he felt Maddox's body tighten and almost choke his shaft. He reached between Maddox's legs, stroking his cock, and soon they both dove over the edge of reason. Drowning in pleasure together their only tie to sanity was the fear of making noise. Maddox's cock lurched in Mark's hand as he felt warmth filling him. His own cum splashed across his chest and, as Mark's hand continued to stroke, it splattered up on Mark as well. In a panting mess of cum, Mark collapsed onto the broad chest of his lover. Their lips tangled again. "How does it feel to not be a virgin?" Mark teased in a whispering voice. Shaking his head Maddox couldn't stop smiling. "Wonderful." He knew it was a lame word but he was exhausted from the day and pleasantly satisfied. His body was sore and he knew it would be sore tomorrow. He had everything he wanted. He was blissfully and stupidly happy. ~*~*~*~ Early the next morning the sun came bleeding through the curtains. The first gashes of light warming Mark and waking him. He sat up realizing how truly relaxed he felt. He hadn't felt this good in his life. It was as if his body was a rubber band pulling him in a bunch of different directions. Last night he had snapped, he had told his lover everything and now he was just relaxed. He sat up in bed and traced Maddox's muscular body. He smiled down at him lovingly, watching him twitch, still in a deep dream- filled sleep. He listened as something stirred in the kitchen, and decided to go downstairs on his own. Sitting in a chair at the kitchen table, was Trissta. A pot of coffee hissed on the kitchen counter, having just finished percolating. Mark considered going quietly back upstairs when Trissta turned around. "Hey, Mark. I turned the coffee pot on if you want some." Mark noticed the white cup cradled in Trissta's hand. "You shouldn't be drinking that. It's bad for the baby." He felt out of line the moment he said it. This wasn't his baby. It was hers and Maddox's. In all honesty he was relieved when Trissta smiled. "Its hot cocoa, the caffeine- free kind." She nudged a chair with her foot to pull it out. "Though I am happy you are concerned." Mark sat in the open chair Trissta had just bumped. He wasn't sure what to say, or for that matter even how to feel. It was strange that Trissta was so different from what he had expected. "I care about the baby. It's Maddox's and I love him." "I know, and I hope that we can find a way for all this strangeness to work. To give this baby a loving happy home." She shook her head. "Never thought I would be pregnant and talking to my ex-husband's lover about being a family. I guess none of this is how I really saw things." Mark stood by the coffee pot. None of this was how he'd foreseen things ending up either. Still, Trissta was right and they were going to be a family. He tipped the coffeepot, pouring the velvety black brew into a large mug, and sat down opposite Trissta. "I don't think anyone sits down and plans things like this. I would like for us to get along though. At the very least on holidays." Trissta nodded in agreement. "I'm still signing custody over to Maddox. His life is more together than mine. He just needs to get out of that roach- infested apartment." Mark could do nothing but nod in agreement. "I guess I can understand where you were coming from. I can't imagine being young, and having a seriously gay husband, was easy." "No," she smiled and took another sip. "But I guess I figured we would be okay. Maddox was the type of man I thought I wanted to marry. He is smart, and sweet and attractive. I always wondered, and I even asked his parents, but all his life he had never even considered it." She shrugged and then laughed softly. "Funny thing is, when we met, I was only hitting on Maddox because I wanted Todd." She looked over in the direction of the living room where Todd lay sound asleep. Mark knew all too well how much Todd claimed to hate Trissta. He also knew Todd had hit it off with his friend Cassie. "You will find someone." The steps creaked and Maddox rounded the corner still looking half asleep. "Morning, you two playing nice?" "Of course." Trissta smiled, watching Maddox as he sat down and then winced, shifting around uncomfortably. "Rough night,." she laughed. Both men blushed and looked down at the wonders deep within their cups. ~*~*~*~ Justin lay curled up on Mark's bed, his pants around his ankles, as he stroked himself. He had gotten back a day early since Mark had told him he was still with Maddox and Maddox's family. "Mark!" he panted. He was in a fantasy world. He had to get rid of Maddox. One way or another, and the thought of being cruel about it turned him on even more as he came all over one of Mark's t-shirts. ~*~*~*~ ((I found a new editor!! Many thanks to Rex Brookdale for editing this. I am very grateful that AU was returned so quickly and now should read more easily and I hope to work with him again in the future. I can't tell you enough how thrilled I am to have someone to send my writing to again and have them return it and be an engaged reader. I hope you all are willing to stick with AU for a little while longer as the end is in sight and I am going back over the chapters that long ago were forgotten and collected dust as I waited for an editor. I am thrilled to have found one and very grateful for the work he has done.)) AU Ch. 09 Edited by: Tangent Joker * Cola brown eyes watched the cold, heavy, metal gun pass from one set of slender manicured fingers to the other. He watched his small... lover? Was that what he would consider Justin? No, most likely not. He had loved Justin once upon a time. That love was now replaced by fear. Jin knew what Justin was capable of. Hell, he was usually the punching bag. "You... you aren't going to hurt anyone, right? Just scaring him, right?" he whispered. "Shut up, slut," Justin snapped, smirking at the pretty blonde female. "We don't have to answer to you." The blonde smiled at Jin, though there was nothing warm there. "I've been wanting to end them for a long time. It is just a better ending when things are messy." Jin felt sick. Justin used people like little game pieces and apparently the new female friend liked to write about her puppets. Both forced people to do what they normally wouldn't do. These two had come together to try and break Mark and Maddox up time and time again. Ever since Thanksgiving, they had seemed to be on a war path. As the weather grew warmer, Justin grew colder. The unnamed blonde snorted, "I mean it was kinda hot when they were this whole forbidden romance thing but now that they haven't had any issues... I just want to see Maddox suffer after everything he did to me." He had to warn somebody. That was all there was to it. Justin was crazy enough to kill someone. He didn't question that. Jin went over everything he knew in his head. He knew Justin's first name, Mark's first name and Maddox's first name. He knew they weren't supposed to be together. But that could be because they were gay, couldn't it? He knew the pretty blonde knew them both and wanted to see them pay for hurting her somehow. He didn't know the plan. He only knew that now there was a gun involved. Jin was jolted from his thoughts when the gun was placed on his forehead. "I said, 'Are you?'" Justin snarled. Jin looked from the blonde to Justin. He had been so wrapped up on how to tell someone that he hadn't been listening. He knew that was a terrible mistake as Justin hated to be ignored. "You aren't going to tell anyone are you, shithead?" Justin growled again. Jin quickly shook his head "no" and flinched when he heard the gun click, firing an empty shot. "You are lucky she took the bullets out." He laughed, watching Jin try to swallow down his terror. They were both crazy and had no regard for human life. He wondered how two good looking people from good families had ended up this twisted. There was some deep problem, some sickness, that had infected their core. He quietly moved into the corner, letting the wolves talk about their plot. He watched the predatory cruelness in their eyes as they licked their lips. ~*~*~*~ That night, Jin was in bed alone. Justin was at Mark's again and the silence was nice. He looked up at the ceiling, noticing how it was crumbling. You would think with how expensive it was to come here that the ceiling would be holding up a little better. Even if it was all falling apart, Jin felt safe. This was his home more so than anyplace had ever been. He hated to think of his safe haven falling to pieces. A door in the hall slammed loudly enough to make Jin jump and hard enough to cause some of the ceiling to flake off like bits of ash. Justin had seemed so nice... All his life he had just wanted someone nice. His father had never really been the affectionate type. He was always flying from one business meeting to another. He had wanted Jin to get into a good school. GWU was not considered a good school. It didn't matter now, though. This was his school. Jin rolled over and pulled the sweatshirt-like blanket up to his chin. It would be easy. Tomorrow he would go talk to the Campus Police and they would stop Justin if he really did plan to do more than scare. They had to listen. This was a real threat. The law never failed. He truly believed that with all of his heart. ~*~*~*~ Mark walked down the steps of his dorm room. Maddox was away on some interview which he hoped was going well. Over the past few months, the couple had been looking into other teaching jobs for Maddox. They wanted to be public with their relationship and that meant one of them had to move. Being the one temporarily in school, Mark had argued that he should be the one to switch. Maddox had insisted that he wanted to move somewhere that was a bit more hands on. He even considered moving to a high school since it was the students he really cared about. Mark impaled a greasy sausage, swiping it through some sticky maple syrup. Turning the page of his anatomy book, he looked at the intestinal section of a cat. He had to memorize each part, know its correct spelling and functions. He kept saying them in the order that they were used... or, at least, that was what he was supposed to be doing. Instead, he kept thinking about his lover and his job interview. He closed the monstrous textbook and smiled, recalling the morning's events. He rarely ever spent the night in his dorm anymore and Maddox's place felt like him. The crumbling ceiling, chipped paint and even the balding carpet. He had tied Maddox's tie this morning. He had kissed his freshly shaved cheek and then those sinful lips. He had definitely learned how to use those lips over the past few months. Mark took in a deep breath. He realized breakfast was almost over and if he planned to move anytime soon, he needed his erection to go down. Damn, he had picked a bad time to wear his collage sweatpants. He tried to take a page from Cassie's book and people watch until the passionate thoughts of Maddox left him. He watched a few sorority girls nursing hangovers with blue Powerade as their more dedicated sisters were scribbling away in fancy notebooks. He watched the guy everyone referred to as Omelet Man pour some eggs onto the large griddle. A flash of movement caught his eyes as he watched a slender Asian boy swipe his card and dart through the dining hall, barely pausing to grab an apple. He wondered where he was going in such a hurry. Likely some study meeting, if he was making up stories. Realizing he was safe to leave, Mark took his plate to the dirty dish drop off and headed to his dorm room. He really should make more of an effort to hang out with Justin and Cassie more. They had been such good friends to him. ~*~*~*~ He wasn't here again. He never was anymore. Mister Perfect seemed to have all of Mark's attention, just like Noah had when they were kids. Mark just looked through him. After tonight, though, that would all change. Mark would have to see him after tonight, after all he was going to do. Justin walked over to Mark's side of the room, running his dainty polished fingers over the bed spread. He hadn't slept in it yet. Not after Mark had, anyway. On the rare occasion that Mark spent the night in their room, he saturated his bed with his scent. Justin would then hold out a day or so and let the scent linger in the room before he would crawl into Mark's bed and think of him. It had been a week almost. Justin rolled his T-shirt over his head and slipped out of his underwear. His eyes flicked to the door and was reassured it was dead bolted. It would provide him an extra moment or two if someone happened to try and enter. Sure he wouldn't be interrupted, he grabbed one of Mark's dirty shirts and a pair of his boxers. This was almost a ritual to him now. The shirt went down on to Mark's pillow, enhancing the scent that was already there. Justin slipped between the covers and set the boxers next to him. Closing his eyes, he envisioned Mark's hands and lips on his body. He imagined his soft fingers touching his own lips, like a lover might. Tracing down to his neck, gentle at first, and then constricting his airway with pressure on his throat. Mark would take total control of him, take what he wanted and break Justin's control freak nature down. Gasping a little, Justin's body prickled with heat. His fingers moved to his own erect nipples "Mark... Fuck me, Mark," he whimpered, wanting to be taken care of tonight. The Mark of his sinful fantasy would, of course, give him everything he asked for. He rolled his nipples between his fingers, and dug his heels into the bed, arching his back to press against the man who would never be there. In an almost trance like state, Justin reached for his favorite lotion and squirted a liberal amount in his hand. "I love you," he told Mark, turning his head to inhale Mark's scent. A slender finger teased the head of his cock, thumbing the slit. The slick digit traveled down, touching each vein before his entire hand clasped over his balls. He tugged, whimpering a little, but his cock lurched. His member, begging to be touched again, drooled onto his taught stomach. He knew, as soon as he touched himself, this fantasy wouldn't last. He parted his legs for Mark as a finger dipped inside. "Please," he begged, wanting to feel full. His wish was granted as a purple cock entered him, filling the void. The blonde thrashed with pleasure, feeling Mark inside of him. His hand then grasped his member. He fucked himself, and jerked at a furious pace. His heels dug in again, and he felt himself getting ready to combust. The pleasure coiled inside of him like a furious serpent ready to strike. Closer... Closer.... Almost... He heard the grind of keys in the door and his eyes flew open. "Hang on!" He yipped, scrambling out of his roommate's bed and throwing the unused boxers and the shirt back into Mark's heap of clothes. He pulled the toy out and his legs felt weak and shaky. Thankfully, Mark had stopped trying to enter as Justin scrambled to put clothes back on. He tucked his erection back into his pants, in an upward position. Fuck, it hurt to walk. He unlocked the door and saw a sheepish Mark on the other side. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, um, interrupt again," he apologized, knowing what he had likely been about to walk in on. "I really don't come by enough." Justin recovered as quickly as possible and smiled. "No, but I know how it is with new love." He refrained from choking on the last word. "Did you, umm, need something?" he asked, wondering why Mark was even here. "Not really. I just thought we could hang out for a bit." Mark sat on his bed not noticing the warmth where Justin's body had just been. "Maddox has his interview today, for a teaching job at another university." Mark informed his roommate. "I am pretty sure he will get it. Actually, I'd be shocked if he didn't. He is one of the best teachers here and that university seemed pretty desperate for a chemistry teacher. Plus, the department head here said he would give him a really good recommendation. I have a feeling he knows why Maddox wants to transfer." "That sounds perfect, then," Justin chirped, trying to sound as happy as possible. He just had to keep reminding himself that tonight he would get rid of Maddox. Tonight would be the night that Mark would always remember as the night when Justin proved just how far he was willing to go to be with him. Mark would see that Justin was better than Noah; better than Maddox; better than everyone. "It is. Since I'm pretty sure Maddox will get it, I wanted to celebrate." Well, there went tonight. Mark would probably be at Maddox's house all night. His plans would have to be pushed back again. Then he heard Mark flick his tongue stud against his teeth. It was a terrible habit that Mark had picked up sometime after his family had disowned him. Still, it was a good indicator that something was troubling Mark. "So, if you are pretty sure he will get it, what's wrong?" Sex wasn't something Mark was as open about as Justin. "Well, I was thinking since it won't matter anymore that he is my teacher we could, ummm, maybe celebrate somewhere on campus. If he gets it, I mean." Perfect! "Somewhere on campus?" Justin baited with a knowing grin. It was perfect, now he would know exactly where the lovers were going to be. "Well, whenever I want to get my rocks off in public, I go to the nature walk. You know, by the science building. They use it for studies of nature and its development or whatever and there are a few places to avoid where they are studying how fast stuff decays but it is private and pretty. Just bring a blanket." Mark's face lit up "Damn, I don't know why I didn't think of that! The best idea I had was behind the residence hall where the dumpsters are." He wrinkled his nose as if imagining the smell. "Thanks, I knew you would have a better idea. I wanted to make him dinner first so we will probably get there in time to see the moon and stars." Justin nodded as if agreeing. He now had a place and a time of day. Everything was falling into place perfectly. ~*~*~*~ Maddox twisted his hands, trying to wring the nerves from his own body. This job, the one he was about to walk through the door and interview for, was far from his dream job. Rhodliss University wasn't that far from where he lived now, and it held special memories for Mark and him. The science department was offering a full time teaching position that would also allow him to have some time for his own personal research. It wasn't a dream job, but he wanted it badly. He had gone over his good qualities and was trying to think positively. It was becoming more difficult everyday that he walked into that chemistry class. The first semester had ended and when Mark had signed up for his last mandatory chemistry class somehow he had ended right back in Maddox's group. He had to look at him every single day and then keep his thoughts together enough to teach. He needed out before he did something stupid and got fired. He had to get out before someone found out... ~*~*~*~ "You should have known better." "Fuck you. I just thought it was a really strange coincidence." "Noah... It's not that common of a name. Besides, you should have been pissed he was hooking up with anyone but you." Justin narrowed his eyes. She was right. "You have been planning this for years. Tracking him down, paying for that lady to offer him a fake scholarship and then bribing the people of Resident Life to ensure you got in the same room." She tilted back her wine cooler. "Maddox is in your way, love. Just get rid of him." "You mean..." Justin bit the side of his tongue. "You mean I should really pull the trigger?" he asked. "It's more interesting that way." Something evil flared in the blonde's eyes. "Besides, Maddox isn't even a good guy. He is leaving a pregnant ex-wife to have a fling with some student," she snarled the last bit a little more bitterly. Justin nodded. "They will be celebrating tonight," Justin stated. "He wants to do something on campus for the first time. I told him about this spot in the woods. It is a perfect place to do it." Justin shivered with excitement "I can't believe we are really going to kill him." "You are going to kill him. I am keeping watch. Mark will have to love you when he realizes you were willing to kill for him. I bet he helps you cover it up, too." She smiled. Justin really was delusional. He was entertaining and the perfect fuel for her creative fire. Besides, after Maddox had rejected her and decided to be gay, he deserved what he had coming. Justin was just the little psycho doing her dirty work. "Don't tell shithead, either. I think he thinks he can stop you." Justin laughed a little. Jin was afraid of his own shadow. There was no way he was willing to take a bullet for some guy he didn't even know. Not to mention Jin hardly knew anything. Justin had been sure to purposely leave him in the dark. Jin wouldn't know it had happened until the rest of the school did and, by then, it would be too late. Justin would be going to prison, or on the run with Mark. The plan was in motion and it couldn't be stopped. ~*~*~*~ Jin had worked up the nerve to tell someone something. Even though he didn't know much, the school would have to look into it. Maybe it would get back to Mark and Maddox, whoever they were, and they would know to look out. A shooting would have to be taken seriously. The mid-fifties secretary looked over her thick rimmed pink glasses as though she was just now noticing Jin sitting there. She likely just had, even though he had been sitting there waiting for her to get off the phone for a good twenty minutes. He had sat quietly and almost motionlessly as she babbled on and on about what Susan and Kathrine had brought to their last book club meeting and about how Margret was having an affair with a little twenty something. It had given him time to collect his thoughts and organize everything he knew into the most helpful and logical presentation. His father would be proud. The secretary coughed. "Can I help you with something, sweetheart?" she asked, just wanting him to go away so she could get back to not working. "Yes. I needed to talk with the Director of Student Affairs," he replied almost too quietly for anyone to hear. Jin had decided against going straight to Campus Police because they weren't real police officers but rather security guards. He guessed the Director of Student Affairs would know the students best and would know who he was describing. She could then call the real police and, with what she knew and what Jin knew, there was a better chance of tracking down Mark and Justin. She had to have a list of who was sharing rooms with whom and she would narrow it down to the right combination of names. The secretary picked up a phone and dialed a short extension. "Mrs. Marglow, there is a student here wishing to speak with you." She covered the receiver "What did you need to talk to her about?" she asked, filtering the director's calls. "It is an emergency," he stated softly. "He said it is an emergency," her voice dripped with sarcasm. Likely he was some uptight little Asian kid who was freaking out over final exams. "Ok, I'll send him back." She hung up the phone. "She said she has five minutes. Go down the hall and it's the last door on the left," she told the student, motioning to the hallway behind her. "Thank you." Jin gave a little nod of gratitude and rushed down the hall. ~*~*~*~ "So, let me see if I understand correctly. You need me to look up two roommates named Mark and Justin because Mark plans to kill Justin and his lover." Jin shook his head. "No, Justin is going to kill Mark's lover, Maddox." "Let me call Campus Police. They should have been who you went to first, dear." She smiled, not truly believing a word this kid was saying but knowing she had to at least call Campus Police in order to cover her own ass. Jin's head dropped. He had a skill at picking out how people felt about something and it was clear his only hope thought he was crazy and stupid for not going to the police first. At least she would have to be in the room, though, and the police could ask her to pull up the needed information. The more people who knew about it the better chance they had of scaring Justin away or stopping him. Jin tucked one foot behind his ankle, folded his hands and kept his head down. He would wait quietly. There was still a good bit of daylight left and he knew Justin's plan relied on it being dark. He knew the crazy blonde would want to watch if Justin was, in fact, going to shoot to kill and not just to scare. She liked watching things like that, he would imagine. It took twenty minutes for the Campus Police to get there. They would be the one to make the judgment about if the actual police should get involved in the matter. It would snowball. He was sure of it. Of course, when Campus Police came he soon realized his story didn't sound any less crazy. "Aren't you going to write this down?" he asked softly. AU Ch. 09 The larger of the two rolled his eyes and pulled out a pad jotting a few words down. "So you don't know their last names. You don't know their years. You don't know where it will happen or if it will even happen." The one who wasn't writing chuckled a little. "Alright, kid. We will look into it, alright?" He shepherded Jin out the door and laughed the moment it was closed. It seemed to be the sentiment of all in the room. "Kid is off his rocker. I would recommend you send a shrink to his room. He is probably on drugs or something. You know, with it being finals and all." Jin had tucked himself into a doorway, wanting to see if they would really look into it. His stomach sank as he watched them leave not even a full five minutes after he had. There was no way they could have looked Justin up that quickly. "Fags and their drama. One of 'em must be on the rag." Jin mentally recoiled. Well that settled it. If someone was going to stop Justin, he would have to keep a very close watch on him. Tracking him down would be the difficult part. He didn't know what dorm he lived in and wasn't even sure Justin lived on campus. He thought about everything he knew about Justin and the blonde. He knew Justin was likely a psychology major. He had enough psychology books in his bag and sometimes he had set them on the table when talking with the blonde or when he came over. So he could sit outside of that building and watch for hours but that wasn't a reasonable solution. There were multiple doors and if there was a surge of people, he would easily lose Justin in the crowd. "Please, help me stop him," he whispered, looking up at the sky. It was a stupid thing to do. No one ever answered when he asked. Justin had to eat at some point; lunch and then dinner. Maybe it would be best to sit in the cafeteria and just hope Justin decided to eat on campus. He started to walk in that direction until he noticed Justin, just across the street. For once, being invisible was to his advantage. Jin slipped across the street and blended in with the crowd. He was only a few feet away from Justin, who was so wrapped up on his plan to even think to look behind him. ~*~*~*~ Maddox felt the cold wall smash against his bare back. He was already hard and panting. He sometimes wished he wasn't so easy. All Mark had to do was look at him the right way and he felt like a slobbering animal in heat, mindlessly grinding against anything near him just desperate for friction and relief from the pressure. He felt Mark's teeth on his neck, marking him and he made an almost inhuman sound of pleasure. His hands full of Mark's ass, and bad boy jeans. "Fuck me, please, fuck me," he panted. He didn't want sweet gentle touching tonight. He wanted love bruises and to be so sore he would feel Mark tomorrow. Knowing Mark was on his skin as his days keeping Mark a secret were officially numbered. Despite his larger size, Maddox was malleable in Mark's hands. With his fingers hooked in Maddox's belt loops, he effortlessly flipped his willing lover. His hand wrapped up in Maddox's thick dark hair and he pulled his head back watching the skin on his neck pull tight. His free hand jerked Maddox's pants open as he teeth sought purchase on Maddox's shoulder. "Pull 'em down for me, baby," he growled. He moved to take off his own clothes, walked naked to his side of the bed, and reached into the drawer where they kept all of their toys. He pulled out a warming lube and admired the man in front of him. His lean body faced the wall stretched out. He was sculpted and the way he moved was almost snakelike. He was perfect, sweet, sexy and untainted. Mark knew his were the only hands to travel over that beautiful body. Maddox was muscular in a tasteful way, and could easily break Mark in half, but he allowed Mark to bridle him and tame that power for his own pleasure. He watched Maddox give a small shiver, as if he knew he was being admired. "Please.... I need it," he panted, rolling his hips and keeping both hands on the wall. Mark squirted a good amount of the warming lube onto the palm of his hand and used it to generously cover his throbbing member. Despite wanting to just ram into Maddox's waiting ass, he knew his lover was still too tight for that and instead pushed two fingers into his heat. "No, please, I want you inside of me." Mark kissed Maddox's neck and his free hand moved to stroke Maddox's cock and sooth the protesting. "Just warming you up for me, baby." Maddox's nostrils flared trying to pull oxygen to his demanding organ. Feeling a third finger being added, and his sweet spot being teasingly bumped, he thrust into Mark's hand and against the air. His legs parted as he worked on relaxing, knowing the quicker he made his body accommodate Mark's fingers the faster he would be rewarded with his cock. The teasing sessions before sex seemed to be getting shorter and shorter and soon he felt Mark's cock pressing against his ring of muscle. His body fought with pain and pleasure to allow the intruder in. Finally there was a small burst of pain followed by a flowering inferno of pleasure. Mark's hands possessively grabbed his hips as he took a few long... deep... strokes making sure Maddox felt each inch, every ridge and vein as he moved in and then out again almost slipping from the heated confines of his lover's channel. "I love you," he whispered against Maddox's ear. "I'm so proud of you, and I knew you could do it." "I love you, too," Maddox answered. He moved his hips against Mark, making him grind deeper. "Thank you for believing in me." With one final kiss, Mark pushed into Maddox harder. His hips picked up the pace and his serpent-like lover moved against him. They fell into rhythm effortlessly. Their bodies crashed together as beautiful sounds of pleasure escaped their lips. Maddox clawed like a cat in heat at the wall. Mark was relentless, hitting his prostate almost brutally. He felt his orgasm welling up inside of him. It seemed to start in his calves. Pressure so intense it radiated heat and surged up his thighs to his groin. Mark's hand made sinful spirals over his shaft, and he felt their bodies becoming one. The heat flowered in his stomach. "Mark," he called out desperately, grasping for reality as his lover sent him over the edge. Both their bodies jerked as Mark filled him with warmth. Maddox felt as though his legs might fail him and, seeming to read his mind, Mark disengaged and pulled him towards their bed. Maddox had to clench to keep from losing all of Mark's cum to the floor. He went to clean up and then joined Mark in their bed. Sure, Mark still lived in the dorms technically, but he rarely slept there which Maddox was happy about. Not just because it meant he was able to wake up to his beautiful lover every night, but it also meant he wasn't around his... strange roommate. There were things that Justin did and said that just didn't sit right with Maddox. But he trusted Mark when he said he and Justin didn't have anything between them. He would get irritated and say that not every gay guy wanted to sleep with every other gay guy. It hurt Maddox a little to have Mark remind him how long he had not known he was gay and brush it off as a strait guy's mistake. He had stopped bringing it up, though, noticing the less he pushed for Justin to be out of the picture the more out of the picture he became. "I hope you didn't make any plans tonight," Mark purred tangling his legs with Maddox's. "Just a quiet evening at home with a really hot student of mine." "Soon to be past student," Mark corrected kissing Maddox's neck. "I wanted to take you to this place on campus. I figured it would be a nice little act of rebellion." "Sounds like the perfect way to celebrate." ~*~*~*~ The sun was setting in the sky, painting it violent shades of red and warning flares of yellow. It would be happening soon. Justin was supposed to meet her here for a pep talk and so they could walk the trail a few times. They needed to find a good place for her to keep watch and a place for Justin to hide. Jin stayed out of sight as he listened to them talk. So they had set Mark up to go to the nature trail. He should just call the police now and tell them all he knew about the plan and where it would happen. There was no sense in getting more involved than he already was. He didn't owe Mark anything. Hell, he didn't even know the guy. He should walk away now. He would sleep well at night knowing he had done everything expected of him. Damn it, he couldn't let another fall prey to Justin. Something was changing inside of Jin. A fire was kindling that he never knew existed. The police wouldn't take him seriously. He already knew that. So now he was quietly shadowing the psychotic blondes to the nature trail. He tucked himself behind a large oak, sheltered by a good bit of brush. He was pretty far off the path, and now all he had to do was wait and listen. ~*~*~*~ He watched a mosquito land on his arm, knowing a needle like protrusion was entering his skin sucking blood from his arm. A little piece of himself he would leave behind. Justin didn't anticipate living to see the next morning. He knew the act of violence would end his life if not by his own hands then by going to jail. It was worth it, having Mark finally see him was worth whatever came tonight. He felt a vibration in his pocket and took out the phone. It was a text message letting him know Mark and Maddox were coming. She had been the one to push for him to kill Maddox. It was a good idea. Mark would always remember him as the guy who killed his lover. ~*~*~*~ Justin was right, this place was perfect. It was beautiful. He had a thick blanket from his lover's bed in one hand and his free arm around Maddox's thick waist, leading him onto the nature trail. He noticed Cassie's car in the student lot. She must be at the end of the year dance. He smiled and pulled Maddox closer, kissing his neck. Next year, they would be able to do stuff like that. ~*~*~*~ Jin watched two people walking down the path. His heart leapt into his throat. They were coming down the wrong way. They were supposed to come down the way Justin had so that he could intervene before Justin could. Now he would have to run past Justin to stop them. He pulled out his phone and dialed Campus Police, thinking they were the closest and would be able to get there the fastest. He called and whispered, "Gun on campus." He felt cold, knowing they still wouldn't get here in time. He would have to jump in before Justin did. He had intended to save the couple, but now to do that he would have to put his own life at risk. He had to do the right thing, to be brave to stand up to Justin for once. "Stop!" ~*~*~*~ The spiteful blonde watched Mark and Maddox walk by just as they had planned. What a good story this would make. She would be the best friend of the killer, and be able to write all his darkest thoughts. Of course, she would have to leave out the parts that included her. She would have to pretend like she was fine with Maddox. They were good friends. Even if that friendship hadn't saved her from failing and losing her scholarship. Stupid selfish bastard. He only seemed to have ethics when it came to grading. He was alright with leaving a pregnant wife. He was fine with fucking one of his students and apparently Mister Moral, Dr. Cotedivoux, was fine with having sex on campus. Cassie turned her head as she heard a car coming behind her. Campus Police. What the hell were they doing here? They looked panicked. Her manicured eyebrows furrowed and then flew up. They were running right towards the wood. "Is something wrong?" she called. They stopped, wondering if the voice maybe belonged to the shooter or a victim of the potential shooting. "We got a report that there was an emergency," the larger one said not wanting to frighten the student. "You should head to a safe place like your dorm room." "Well, there isn't anyone in that direction. I have been sitting here for a long time." As if to make a liar out of her, a gun was fired and the police took off running. ~*~*~*~ Maddox and Mark stopped as an unfamiliar voice shouted. Their confusion only grew as Justin stepped out from the trees, a gun in his hand. A lithe Asian male rushed out only a second later. Justin laughed. "There is only one bullet in here," he said, tears welling up in his eyes. "Justin, don't. Please. It isn't worth it," Jin pleaded, cautiously walking forward. "I just wanted you to see me, Mark. We were roommates a whole year... You didn't even recognize me once. I used to live in the same neighborhood." He snarled. "All I wanted was for you to love me." He turned the gun on himself. "I guess I can pretend to die in your arms, since I can never have you." "No!" Jin yelled, tackling Justin. Mark was too stunned to move. His mind raced, trying to catch up, and his body was frozen. The gunshot jerked him violently as he seemed to remember a distant memory of a much younger Justin. "Justin." Jin finally moved, rolling Justin over. Blood was saturating his shirt. The fire in his eyes was fading fast. As cruel as Justin was, Jin didn't want him to die. Justin's vision blurred as he looked up at Jin, seeing Mark as he always had. "I love you, Mark," he said, reaching for Jin's face. Maddox was on his cell phone, talking to a 911 operator. Mark, hearing the police, went running to find them and bring them to the scene. "I love you too, Justin," Jin answered as the world around them faded and he became Justin's Mark for one last time. ~*~*~*~ Thank you everyone for sticking with me for the duration of this story. I hope you enjoyed it even half as much as I did. You all made my day with nice comments, favorites, and views. I can't express how much it means to me to know my words were read by even one person. I hope this ending is not disappointing. This is the last chapter technically but I am wrapping up an epilogue. The epilogue should answer all unanswered questions as well as give a peak into the future of this couple. I am also considering a spin off story for Jin but I don't know if that will be my last project. As always constructive criticism is appreciated so I know how to improve future writings. Thank you also to Tangent Joker for editing this chapter. I appreciate all that you have done to make my writing more understandable. I'm sure I caused you many headaches with lack of commas and other grammar mistakes. I very lucky and grateful to have found you. I can't wait to send you more writing and reading more of your work. AU Ch. 10 Edited By: Tangent Joker I'm sure you all hate me now. I promise, I never intended to become the villain. I just got a little lost, you see. I was in love with Mark Jameson from the moment I saw him. Of course, even though I was four years younger, I knew I was gay long before Mark or Noah did. They were both just so beautiful. I used to watch them from my bedroom across the street. They never noticed me, though. To them, I was just the weird sickly boy across the street. I don't even think they knew my name. I killed myself because I couldn't bring myself to hurt Mark. Not even in the end. Maddox made him happy in ways I never could and I couldn't live without him. So, why haven't I moved on? If you can answer that, I would be happy to know so maybe I can rectify this horrible turn of events. Instead of just stopping and becoming worm food, I end up in this stupid tacky bar every fucking night. No one hears me or sees me but somehow there is always a glass of bourbon. I drink for hours never getting intoxicated; never having anything change. I should have just killed him. Mark would have gotten over it. "Losing the love of his life for a second time?" A cocky man chuckled, sitting next to me. How the hell could he see me? "Come on, Justin, you are smarter than that." I looked the man over. There was something oddly familiar about him. His blond hair with hints of copper shown in the dim lights of the bar. His big brown eyes looking through me as if he had all the answers to questions I hadn't even thought to ask. "Who are you?" He smiled, what would have been a heartwarming smile if I had a heart to warm. "Come on now, Justin. You have a heart. A very good one actually." His smile only brightened as he rested a yellow rose with red edging in front of me. One of the same roses I had put against the headstone of a childhood crush. I had loved them both the same, but Mark had been the only survivor. This couldn't be Noah. He was too big, too strong. "Noah?" I questioned, jumping a bit as he covered my hand with his. It was the first time I had felt warmth in years. "Yes, and I've come to rescue you." "I'm not worth rescuing, Noah. You are just wasting your time." I went to go drink another sip of the useless bourbon only to find out it was gone. "I had to do a lot of bargaining to get here, Justin, and I wouldn't have done that if I thought it wasn't worth my time. I can't do it alone, Justin. Help me save you. You have been drinking in purgatory long enough." I laughed a little at the thought, so this tacky bar with people draped in gold was purgatory. I didn't want to be saved. I didn't want Noah to see all the evil things I had done. "I've already seen them, Justin. I've always been watching. I've watched you and Mark. I saw everything. I saw you abuse Jin. Watched as you plotted with Cassie to rip Maddox away from Mark. Then, at the end, I watched you be selfless. I saw you save the world from yourself. Suicide is a sin, Justin, but you were such a troubled soul. There was no other way off the path of evil for you. That split second decision to take your own life is what I used to convince them that you deserved to be given a chance." I didn't want his help. I wanted to be left to my misery. My fingers reached out, touching the rose. I couldn't help myself. I had missed Noah. If he had been the one to survive he would have recognized me. Noah, sweet loving Noah. He would have held me and made everything better. I would have been happy if he had been the one to survive. "So, let me take care of you now." I looked at him realizing some of his comments had been to my private thoughts. "Get out of my head." "Sorry. It's habit." He took my hand again. "I'm sorry I didn't notice you when we were younger. I didn't know how much you needed a friend. I'm here now. I'm sorry it is years too late. Forgive me, Justin, and let me be there for you now." I nodded and took his hand. "How are you going to help me?" When Noah smiled, his whole face glowed. He had been cute as a kid, but as this older being he was stunning. Mark was lucky to have had him, even if it was only once. I found myself once again wishing Noah had been the one to live. I started to imagine his gentle hands on my body, and my hands on those muscles that I was now drooling over. I watched him blush, and cursed myself for not remembering he was in my thoughts. "Well, if you are going to insist on mind reading you are going to have to get used to the fact that my mind is dirty." Noah's blush only deepened when he realized he had been caught seeing something he shouldn't have. "Sorry," he coughed and stood up. His body seemed to emit a soft gold glow, a gold that only made the bar look tackier in comparison. I smiled a little. It was as though my face had forgotten the expression like one might forget a native tongue after years of assimilation. "So?" I asked again. "So..." He repeated, tilting his head. "So how do you plan to help me?" He shifted, laughing a little at himself, and ran his fingers through his hair. I watched the movement of those beautiful hands and it was then that I noticed the small golden hoop just above his head. Of course Noah was an angel. What else could the boy who was too kind to even crush an ant be in death? "You did some very bad things, Justin, but if you can honestly say you are sorry for them then I can take you with me to Heaven." I sucked on the spider bites in my bottom lip. I wasn't sorry for the things I had done. I had every right to do them. "And if I can't?" I asked wanting to know my options. "Then you will slip through my fingers into Hell." I gulped and looked at the bartender who would never see me. The patrons that changed every night and the glass of bourbon I never really got to enjoy. It was boring and dull, but it was safe. This I could handle, but Hell... Hell seemed like a very scary place. I touched the soft yellow petals, noticing how it looked as though blood had marred the once beautiful hue. I knew Noah wouldn't let me fall. I reached out my hand to him. "Alright." Noah took my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I'll be here the whole time, but we have to see some pretty painful things. You can't feel remorse until you see the damage you have done." I held my breath as we were swept off to another place. The sun was so bright on my eyes that were only used to the dim lighting of Gold. It made a little black swirl in my vision, and my feet felt as though they were resting on a moving surface. When my blindness was cured, I noticed we were on the street where the three of us had grown up. Noah walked me to my large house, and through the walls. My mom was in her office working on something and my dad was on yet another international business trip. I couldn't tell you which one, but I'm sure it was important. "You were a sickly child, weren't you, Justin?" I didn't want to answer. Being sick meant I had been weak. Our house was the only one that had a live in nanny. "I wasn't sick," I whispered. The familiar hum of the humidifier could be heard in the upstairs hall. "No, I suppose you weren't," Noah replied as we walked literally through the door to my bedroom. "You were such a small child," he commented. I was going to snap some witty comeback but I realized Noah hadn't meant to be cruel. He was merely observing that even in the small twin bed I looked tiny. "I was premature. My mom smoked and worked a lot when she was pregnant with me. She still smokes." "When you were born she got so much attention." I looked at Noah. "How did you know that?" "I'm an angel now, Justin. I know everything," He looked me over again. "Your mother got so much attention from that that she convinced you that you were sick all the time." I looked away, unable to look at the small thing on the bed that had once been me. "You were such a gentle boy. Always reading your books and playing mind games for fun. You didn't have any friends, really." "I didn't. Not even the nannies were nice. My mom liked the pity but it didn't mean she liked to care for me." I bit my tongue in bitterness. I was smart because I had to be, not because I had a thirst for knowledge. Books and games were my only friends. I watched the small boy I had once been get up from the bed and look out the window. Noah and I walked behind him. Noah and Mark were running around outside in swimsuits. They were jumping through the sprinkler and sliding through the puddles. Their houses weren't as big as mine, but neither family was hurting for money. I watched the younger me smile and I knew what was coming. He ran down the steps, and coughed from the asthma and over exertion. "Mom, can I go outside?" "I don't want to see this," I said. My mother shooed me away and shook her head no. Sure, it might not seem bad to you. Something as innocent as a spoiled little rich boy being told by his mom no. What you don't see is my life was full of nos. She hadn't cared when I was inside of her but once I was on the outside, she suddenly only wanted me eating the best food, staying inside where I was safe, and of course made me study in bed because to her I was always sick. "This was the first time, wasn't it?" Noah asked, resting a hand on my shoulder. I nodded. I wanted to scream at myself not to do anything stupid. Instead, I went upstairs and did something incredibly stupid. I didn't have friends and I was determined after that no, to find some. Of course, what I found was a bunch of older men looking to exploit my innocence. I would have done anything to keep their friendship. I sent pictures, made movies, and when I was a bit older I started to go outside to meet my "friends." I didn't realize I was crying until one of Noah's fingers caught a tear on my cheek. "You never had a real friend before did you?" I laughed, "Unless you count that deranged bitch, Cassie, then no." "It started out as you wanting to be our friend, but then when Mark and I started kissing you wanted more, too." I nodded again, unable to really say anything. "So, when your parents gave you your trust fund you looked for us." I nodded again, affirming what Noah already knew. He pulled me against his warm body and off we went again. When we stopped this time the heady smell of coffee took over my sense of smell. Mark had been smart, and he got into GWU on his own. He could only take out so many loans and so many scholarships... There were still things that wouldn't be paid for. I smiled with Mark. He didn't care. He was fine with sleeping in that god awful SUV of his. I had hired a lady to offer him a fake scholarship, as long as he stayed on campus. "You also paid off the secretary in Residence Life to put you two together." "I couldn't lose him again," I tried to justify. Noah didn't need me to tell him. He seemed to understand. We walked silently across campus. We didn't need to speak, and I wasn't sure how any of this was helping me to feel remorse. So far, everything I had done I was justified in doing. I was thinking about how badly I had wanted Mark to love me the way I loved him. This is perhaps why our next destination wasn't what I was expecting. "These are the apartments. My dorm is the other way." "We aren't here for you, Justin. You know what was going on in your life. We are trying to get you to feel remorse." We seemed to materialize in a large apartment. There was a familiar figure, arranging all of his little trinkets. "Jin." Noah nodded. "The only person you ever really hurt. Sure, you complicated things for Mark, but he healed quickly. He was a little confused, and missed you, but he moved on." I watched Jin silently unpack his clothing. He made sure it was all perfectly in place. "Where are his parents?" "You thought your parents were bad about not being there. You never bothered to notice how much you and Jin had in common." It was the first time I really looked at Jin. He had that same empty look I always seemed to have. Poor, sweet, stupid Jin. I had used him and manipulated him. "And all he ever did was love you in return for your abuse. He thought he had finally found a friend and someone to love." I snorted at Noah interjecting his own speculation. "Jin didn't love me. He was too weak to leave me." What I said must have angered Noah as the earth was suddenly jerked out from under my feet. He didn't set me down gently this time. It was months later, Christmas, if Jin was keeping proper score on the calendar. Noah used his angel powers and forced me to my knees beside Jin. He was crying, and praying. I couldn't hear him. The sounds were so foreign to my ears, but they sunk into my heart and imbedded there. Without speaking the same language he was speaking, I understood what he was saying. "He's praying for me," I stated suddenly, feeling all the love Jin had tried to give. I felt as though my heart were swelling in a too tight bag. I remembered all the cruel things I had done. All the evil things I had said. Jin was my only regret. Seeming satisfied that the emotional feelings had had the desired impact, we moved again. This time it was the night I killed myself. I had planned to kill Maddox. I had left it to poetic chance that it would be a single bullet. "Only that night you made a different choice." "I loaded all the chambers. I had planned to give him a chance, and if the chamber was empty I would let him go." "But you knew you wanted the gun to fire." "Yes." I swallowed. "I realized taking Maddox from Mark would hurt him. It was more hurt than I was willing to cause and I knew I was too selfish to let him go. I was tired Noah. I didn't want to live anymore." "I know." I watched the scene happen. Mark still not recognizing I was the young boy across the street. The boy who had desperately tried to gain his attention as well as Noah's when we were in school. They just saw the young boy from across the street. I had thought for sure he would recognize me when he first entered our shared dorm. "I just wanted someone to love me and hold me. He held me in the end." I felt the shot go through me. The loud sound momentarily disoriented me. It was then that I saw a different man run to me. "Jin?" I questioned. "Yes. He loved you after all. He wasn't going to let you die alone." I watched my blood saturate Jin's shirt as he held my dying body. The thoughts of everything I had done to him. I had humiliated him, broken him, and destroyed any chance at happiness he could have hoped to have had. "He'll be ok, won't he?" "Probably not," Noah said softly. "If he is as fragile as you say he is then I imagine he will likely be joining us soon. Only there won't be anyone there to hold him the way he held you. Poor thing won't be as lucky as you to find someone who loves him despite his flaws." Regret washed over me. I watched Jin cry over my lifeless body. Mark, too shocked to move, was still holding Maddox's hand. I didn't love Jin. Even at that moment I knew I would never be in love with him. "Please, don't make him turn out like me. There was this guy, a guy he really liked and I ruined that for him. Instead of helping me, help him and that guy." I didn't really care what happened to me. Honestly, I never have. In that last moment, in that last act of faithfulness by Jin, I regretted being another person to add to the world of hurt that Noah said mirrored mine. "Don't let him die alone." Noah wrapped his arms around me and I felt a prickling warmth travel through my being. His warm lips were on my cheek. It wasn't a romantic kiss. Not that I would have minded some romance from my other life-long crush, but Noah's kiss signified that everything would be alright for Jin. ~*~*~*~ I watched the blood pouring out of Justin's body. It was as though in that last second Justin had redeemed himself from all the hurt he had caused during the year. I don't know why I did it, but I leaned forward and whispered into his ear, "I forgive you." I looked up seeing the whirling blue lights. So the police had finally decided to take me seriously. You would think with all the school shootings that if someone said gun on a school campus people would jump into action. They had the snake with them, and I glared at her. I looked at the stunned couple. Mark was now on his knees in tears. He was confused and lost, wondering why his roommate would suddenly turn suicidal. I couldn't offer him any comfort. To be honest, I was only guessing that the self-destruction had been a selfless act. I knew I would hate myself for what I was about to do, but sadly this is real life. The bad guy doesn't always lose in the end. In order to protect the couple that I was just now putting faces to, I would have to protect her as well. There were going to be a lot of questions. "What the hell happened?" The one cop panted. I know "cop" is an insulting phrase but honestly that term was too good for a person who had failed to protect the students he was paid to protect. The boy I'm guessing is Mark was sobbing now, and while he was trying to talk nothing understandable was coming out of his mouth. The man I'm guessing is the teacher wasn't doing much better. His mouth was gold fishing as he tried to formulate a coherent though. "Justin was my boyfriend. He... He threatened to kill himself and I knew his roommate, Mark, could help talk him out of it. When I went to go find Mark he was talking to this, umm, professor and I said an adult might help, too. Justin told me he was going into the woods..." I made a gesture and let loose a couple of the tears I had been holding back. "Weren't you the kid trying to say something like he was gonna kill a teacher?" The other cop said. I glared at him "No! I said my boyfriend was suicidal and you said it was just 'faggot drama'. Well, now your homosexism has caused his suicide threat to not be taken seriously." The cops both scratched their head as if trying to remember what had been said. When neither could remember anything to make what I was currently saying false, they looked at the teacher one more time. "Didn't you say a student was dating a teacher?" He tried one more time. I shook my head "No, I didn't. I said he had a gun and was planning to either kill himself or take it out on a teacher. I didn't know which one. Either way, you didn't take me seriously then so I suggest you take me seriously now and write what I am telling you. Call for backup and a bus," I snarled, unsure where the strength was coming from. I could almost feel Justin whispering in my ear the way I had done for him. "That's my boy." I wanted to hate it, but inwardly I smiled. Justin hadn't killed me. He had made me stronger. ~*~*~*~ I know I always said she was a bitch. I used to think that was the truth because Maddox was my best friend and she was his ex-wife. Guy code dictates that I should hate her. Of course, if Maddox gave a rat's ass about guy code I wouldn't still have my best friend. You see, Trissta and I have started dating. When I went to Madd's parents' house, I was sort of fixed up with one of Maddox's students, Cassie. She was the same girl I usually go for. Hot and younger than me. I was the hot guy in high school. I had an endless amount of girls who wanted a piece of me. Well, when high school ended my well dried up. I wasn't mature enough, or going somewhere, which meant girls my age weren't interested. Now girls younger than me are starting to think I'm too old. Cassie didn't think I was too old. She was all over me in ways that no girl had been in a long time. I won't bore you with details but, man, that girl can deep throat hella good. She kept coming into my bed and I never complained. AU Ch. 10 It was strange to me how disconnected she seemed from the two guys who were supposed to be her friends. On the way back, though, she was blasting some Usher CD. Who the hell is Usher? It wasn't my taste of music but I was willing to overlook it. I'm a guy. I think with my dick sometimes. I realized she was too young for me, though, when she told me her idea of rock was some band called Red 5, or Maroon 5; some ridiculous number/color combination. 5 Marrons, I think it was. Anyway, she was singing off key about how some sissy boy didn't mind standing in the rain for some girl. I realized then in that terrible song that I wanted a girl who made me feel like that. I wanted a girl to love not a girl like Cassie who was alright for fucking and all but I wanted what Mark and Maddox had. I let Cassie down gently. It was the night of the Super Bowl, Maddox had a date and none of the other guys were around. I wasn't going to miss the Super Bowl, though. So I went to the store to pick up a few things and ended up bumping into Trissta. Apparently, she had some sort of baby appointment with Maddox and was staying in a hotel. I could tell she seemed a bit lonely. So I did something smart for once and put the beer back on the shelf. She was pregnant, after all, and I ended up just getting some soda and asked her to come over and watch the game. I hate the Patriots and, as it turns out, she is a huge Eagles fan. It blew my mind watching her screaming at the TV. I always thought she was hot. But sitting there in her McNabb jersey which was hiding her baby bump, I think that was when I fell for her. Naturally, I had to ask Maddox if he was cool with it. He is a good guy and was happy for us. It is probably a pretty strange set up to have two divorced parents and their significant others get along so well, but for us it works. I think Trissta and I have really helped each other grow. And there is no way we would ever not want Maddox and Mark in our lives. When Trissta had our little girl, something in her seemed to change. A mother look crept into those fierce eyes and I knew her earlier choice to not be in her daughter's life was instantly changed. In that moment, I knew what the Maroons were singing about. I wouldn't mind standing in the rain everyday if it meant I could be with her. ~*~*~*~ The little gold hoop felt heavy in my pocket. I remember the naked feeling when I first slipped my wedding band off of my finger. I couldn't let it go and instead I toyed with it, drowning my sorrows in alcohol. There would never be happiness in the world again. Trissta was gone and all I was left with was a failed marriage. That was the night Mark walked into my life. From the moment I felt his lips on mine, I saw things clearly. Not even the alcohol induced haze could hide what I had been afraid to explore my whole life. Mark and I have come through a lot. In the past years, I started a new teaching job. Mark graduated and is studying for the MCATs. And we welcomed our daughter into the world. We named our daughter Emily. She spends just as much time with her mom and Todd as she does with me and Mark. She is a very lucky little girl to be so loved by four parents. There isn't any drama between us, which is best for Emily. Todd should have been with Trissta all along, and I wouldn't dream of standing in the way of that. I'm at Gold again. It's strange how much has changed since the last time I was here. There is a ring in my pocket again, and it is weighing heavily on me. I asked Mark to meet me here so I could ask him to marry me. I know it isn't legal yet, but I want to marry him anyway. There is a familiar knot twisting in my stomach. The first time I took Mark home, he told me about his lover Noah, and how he died. He told me about taking Noah's last name and how Noah was the only guy to ever be inside of him. He told me this would never change. I'm alright with that, but I worry that he won't want to marry me because of Noah. I love Mark with all that I am. I know that is cliché, but I truthfully cannot think of a stronger way to tell you how much I love him. The ring I bought him has been sitting in my pocket for months. I've been afraid to leave it home for fear that he might find it. As much as I love Mark, it just never felt like the right time to ask him. He still cries, sometimes, over Noah and all I can do is hold him and let him be. I know Mark doesn't like being held, but sometimes he just needs it. I would do anything for him. So today, I did something pretty stupid. I went and changed my last name to Langley. I don't want Mark to give up Noah. I'm just hoping he can find enough room in his heart for me, too. I asked Mark to meet me here, and I'm praying it goes well. This finally feels like the right time and the right place to ask the man I love to marry me. I just hope I'm right. ~*~*~*~ I can still hear the ringing of the gun in my ears. I never made the connection that he was the kid from across the street. You know, the one where we weren't sure if he was a boy or a girl. Apparently, he tracked me down and had a stalker crush on me. I came to college for you, just like I promised, Noah. I'm so sorry. I feel like I failed you. I promised we would get married and live together and we would have a forever together. I never meant to find someone else. I should break it, and quickly. I'm a terrible person for letting it go on this long. I never meant to love him, but I do, Noah. I love Maddox and I don't want to love him. Every time I wake up next to him I feel like you slip away from me. I love you, Noah Langley, I always have and I always will. I never thought there would be room in my heart for another. I'm a terrible person and I don't deserve either of you. I've come to love his family, his daughter and even his ex-wife and daughter. I can't do this anymore, Noah. I can't keep leading him on knowing that I'm going to have to leave him. I promised you and I won't go back on that. I'll walk away. He will find someone new, I'm sure. Maddox is smart, kind, and beautiful. I don't want to leave him. I love him, too, but I promised and I can't lose you, Noah. I just need a few more days. Just long enough to say goodbye. ~*~*~*~ Many people go to college expecting to find love. Mark was not one of those people. In fact, he promised to never find love again. He wanted to get his degree, fulfill a promise made, and feel close to his past. He had been pulling away recently from his lover. They had been together since freshman year of college. Mark had fallen hard and fast for Maddox Cotedivoux, his sexy chemistry teacher. He had used every excuse possible to keep away but in the end the magnetic pull was too strong to fight. Mark had met the family, was involved in Maddox's daughter's life and they had been living together for years. Maddox had been the one to hold him up when his roommate killed himself. Maddox was the one waiting for him when he walked across the graduation stage. Maddox was the one sleeping in his bed, snoring. He smiled a little and as the corners of his mouth drew up a knife drove deeper into his heart. He shouldn't have let this go on for so long. Mark brushed back some of his lover's hair and kissed his full lips. He knew Maddox had it in his head that they would be together forever. It was his own fault for leading him on. Mark wiggled out of his jeans and sucked on his tongue stud. Maddox had been talking about things like marriage, and buying a house, and adopting siblings for Emily. Everything was so goddamn perfect. This wasn't right. He didn't belong here. Mark touched the paw print over his heart, the one he had gotten for Noah. Being with Maddox, and being happy with Noah gone, was a betrayal. He had promised Noah a forever and a wedding. Mark struggled to swallow and walked over to his dresser to get a T-shirt. He even had his own furniture in Maddox's apartment. This had gone on way too long. Tomorrow, he silently promised. Tomorrow he would end things with Maddox. This time it would be for good. Not like all those times before. This time it would stick. He just needed one more night in those strong arms. Mark felt pathetic. He needed Maddox to hold him and comfort him just so he could rip his heart out in the morning. Maddox knew about Noah, but Mark still didn't feel right about having his tattoos visible. Especially when he was feeling so raw emotionally. Mark cursed under his breath when he realized his drawer was empty. He had neglected to do laundry that day. He bit his lip and considered going to bed shirtless. No, that wouldn't be right. If tonight was his last night with Maddox then he was going to give Maddox his whole heart and mind even though it was only one more night. He opened Maddox's shirt drawer and started digging for a smaller shirt. There was one in particular he liked to wear, that was from when Maddox was in high school. It didn't fit him anymore but he kept it for sentimental reasons. Mark's fingers grasped desperately for the favored blue shirt and instead ensnared a small box. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to reconcile why the odd box was buried amongst clothing. When he pulled it out and looked at it, Mark forgot to breathe. He forgot to breathe, think, he forgot how to stand. His legs shook and he grabbed the dresser so he wouldn't make a loud sound as he was going down. It was a ring, an engagement ring. Mark's body felt cold as tears streamed down his face. It was a beautiful white gold ring, with the chemical symbol for gold engraved into it. They had met at a bar called Gold and had fallen for each other while Maddox was his chemistry teacher. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry," he whispered, not sure if he was apologizing to Noah for letting things get this far or to Maddox for leading him on so long. Mark sat there for an hour, though he only knew that when he looked over at the digital green numbers on Maddox's alarm clock. He tucked the ring back into the drawer and slipped into the bed. Maddox rolled over and instinctually pulled Mark against his chest. He was still snoring softly as he nuzzled Mark's neck. Mark's eyes felt heavy and he settled into Maddox's arms. Maddox was holding his shattered pieces together. He never thought anyone but Noah would ever hold him, but he realized how badly he needed holding. In that instant, all the pain Mark had been feeling came rushing out of him. He cried silently against Maddox's arm and his own pillow. It hurts me deeply to watch him cry. I've been watching him for years now, hoping he would find love again. I love Mark. I will always love Mark. I know that what we had was real and, had the war not taken my life, we may have ended up together. You can't look at what ifs, though. I was meant to love Mark, and I was meant to exit his life when I did. Mark was always meant for Maddox, and I wasn't going to let him throw that away. I waited for Mark to slip into a deep sleep where I could reach him. I brought him to our tree. He was a little boy again as was I. After Valentine's Day, when we had been separated, we had only seen each other once. I chose this form because this was the part of our life paths that were meant to cross. He ran to me and I forgot how small I was back then. After going to boot camp, I went through a growth spurt and would never again be smaller than him. "I've missed you, Noah." I smiled at him and hugged him tightly around the middle. "I missed you, too, Mark. I have always wanted to see you end up happy." Mark's chin rested on my head. "I wanted us to end up together." "I know, Mark, and we will be together again in heaven. That doesn't mean you shouldn't find love again. Maddox loves you and you love him. You were meant to be with him, Mark. You don't have to run anymore. Let somebody hold you, and love you, and love him back. I'm happy in heaven Mark and our love will always be in my heart but you need to move on. Your path was meant to lead you to Maddox. It was always Maddox." Mark woke up the next morning with my words ringing in his ears. He felt a familiar pair of lips on his neck. His face was swollen from crying the night before but he felt at peace. "Morning, beautiful," Maddox whispered, pressing his morning wood against Mark's warm body. "I love you," Mark pressed back into his lover. "I wanted to take you out to dinner tonight if you don't have anything else planned." Mark smiled, his mind wandering to the box tucked safely between Maddox's shirts. ~*~*~*~ Mark's slender fingers tied a complicated trinity knot with his black silk tie. He couldn't stop smiling. Today would be the happiest day of his life. Today was the day he would become Mark Cotedivoux. He had come a long way from Mark Jameson. Mark closed his eyes and touched the Noah paw print for comfort. Noah had given him the strength to love Maddox, the way they both needed. He felt a bit apprehensive. Becoming Mark Cotedivoux meant that he was losing a piece of Noah. He couldn't ask Maddox to take the name of his childhood love. Maddox knew about Noah, but that still would be asking too much. He took a deep breath and reassured himself that this was the right choice. Mark and Maddox had planned this wedding for almost a year now. Trissta and Mark had grown close and she had helped him with a lot of the planning and helped him with the small details that he wouldn't have thought of on his own. She had helped him with picking things such as chargers. Mark still wasn't completely sure why the guests needed a plate under their plate but he took Trissta's word for it. He knew the wedding would be perfect. Usually, same sex couples walked down separate aisles together and met at the altar. Trissta had been the one to suggest that she give Maddox away. It would symbolize a new chapter in everyone's life and for Trista, Todd, Mark and Maddox this made sense. "You look pretty, Mark!" Emily cooed flinging herself at her father's soon to be husband. "Handsome. Mark looks handsome." Trissta smiled warmly showing she clearly agreed. Motherhood had done her a world of good. She kissed Mark on the cheek, thinking to herself how perfect life felt. Things had really come full circle. "Ready?" she asked with an empathetic tilt of her head. Mark lifted Emily and bumped out his hip to support her weight. "Yeah, I'm ready." He blew a raspberry on Emily's neck before handing her back to her mom. The next time he saw them, they would be walking Maddox down the aisle. ~*~*~*~ Todd watched Maddox pace back and forth. "Relax." "I can't relax. What if the name makes him angry?" Maddox felt sick. He had already gone through the process to legally change his last name to Langley but now that he was going to spring it on Mark he wasn't so sure it was a good idea. "It won't, and if it does then you will have your first married fight and you can go change it." Todd rested his hands on Maddox's shoulders to stop the nervous pacing. "You guys have been together for five years. I don't think Mark is going anywhere." Maddox took a deep breath and plunged his hand into his pocket handing the gold bands to Todd. "Now, put on your jacket and let's get a move on. Trissta is going to have a cow if you are late." Maddox laughed a little, knowing it was true. Everything had worked out perfectly. Todd was with Trissta and he was with Mark. They all adored Emily and had their lives on the right track. All that was left was to say, "I do". ~*~*~*~ Mark was the first to walk down the aisle. He smiled at the small group of friends shared between him and Maddox, and the large family that had taken them into their hearts. Becoming part of Maddox's family felt more right that any foster home he had ever been in. It felt more right then when he was still part of the Jameson family. The music started, although it was not Here Comes the Bride. Rather, it was a classical violin tune that was easy to walk to. Emily was the first to walk down and she moved a little too quickly to be in time with the music. She tossed white petals as she went and slipped her tiny hand into Mark's as she had been instructed to do. Todd was waiting on Maddox's side and he smiled warmly at Emily, knowing she was a bit nervous standing in front of all these people. Maddox and Trissta came next. Mark couldn't help the tears that welled up in his eyes. He couldn't look away from the beautiful man that was walking towards him. The beautiful man that would forever be his. "Don't cry, Mark. Daddy loves you," Emily said in alarm as she pulled on Mark's arm to get his attention. This, of course, only made the tears fall for real. "I know he loves me. These are happy tears." The pastor started speaking when Maddox reached the end of the aisle. She had been asked to say specific things and hoped things went as Maddox hoped. "Who gives this man to be with this man?" "I do," Trissta said. She pulled Maddox to her, giving him a strong hug and a kiss on his cheek. She smiled at her own soon to be husband, Todd, and went to go sit beside Maddox's mom, Rachel. Mark couldn't stop staring into those deep blue pools of perfection. In Maddox's eyes, he saw all the love that he felt mirrored. Maddox's heart had taken up practicing capoeira in his chest. The part with the name was coming up and he held his breath as the pastor said it. "I now pronounce you Dr. and Mr. Langley you may kiss your new husband." Mark heard Noah's last name and realized what Maddox had done. He had taken Langley as his name knowing Mark needed to hand onto even just a small piece of Noah. His body moved on auto pilot. His lips crashed against Maddox's, claiming his lover as his new husband. ~*~*~*~ Maddox inserted the key into the door of their room at a cute bed and breakfast in Massachusetts. The lovers had decided to make their marriage legal for their honeymoon. The moment the heavy door made a click signifying it was closed, Mark's hands were on Maddox's broad chest. "I love you," Mark murmured against Maddox's lips. He backed him up against the bed until the bed hit the back of Maddox's knees and caused him to fall on his back. "I love you, too," came the breathy reply. Maddox's hands moved through Mark's hair. He scooted further onto the bed. He kicked off his shoes and used his toe to roll off his socks. Mark followed. His lips hooked to Maddox's. He couldn't stop kissing him, and he was afraid that if he attempted to he would lose his nerve. He grabbed the hem of Maddox's jeans and pulled his hips up so he could grind again his lover's firm ass. Maddox had only ever known what it was like to bottom for Mark and he moaned into Mark's mouth as the pierced tongue slipped between his lips. He pushed up with his heels, holding the position Mark had put him in. As his button slipped from its hole and the zipper was pulled down Maddox felt cool air on his heated groin. He kept his hips up as Mark pulled jeans and boxers to his ankles. A needy sound of desperation escaped him as he lost the tongue he had been rubbing against with his own. Maddox rolled his shirt over his head and watched as Mark's clothing was tossed in a heap on the floor. He didn't have time to admire the view for long as Mark's lips crashed against his again. The snake bite piercings bruising his own in their urgent desire to reunite. Mark nestled between Maddox's legs in their familiar position. It didn't matter that they had done this a hundred times. Each time was always better than the one before. His breath hitched as he waited for Mark's skilled fingers to tease him and open his body up to the pleasurable invasion. AU Ch. 10 He felt Mark's legs hook with his as they rolled causing Maddox to be on top. He was too worked up to be concerned with the fact that there had been no preparatory foreplay. Maddox moved to straddle Mark's slender waist. His hands on either side of Mark's head. He felt his lover smiling into their shared kiss. "Not like that, baby," Mark purred. Maddox could only think to moan in response. He felt Mark's hand encircle his wrist as his hand was tugged between their bodies. He tried to grasp Mark's stiff rod only for his hand to be pulled lower. Confusion set in a bit more and Maddox broke their kiss as Mark manipulated Maddox's hand so his fingers were at his waiting hole. "You know how to warm me up, right?" Mark asked with a devilish smirk playing across his lips. "You don't bottom," Maddox, stated not sure if he had understood right. "I bottom for my husband. I love you, Maddox, and I want this. If you don't like it we don't have to do it again but I need you inside of me." Maddox kissed Mark again and offered his fingers to Mark's mouth. He loved when Mark allowed him to suckle his fingers before they entered him. He groaned as Mark's sinful tongue wrapped around his fingers. The silver stud massaged the flesh and ran up the crevice formed where his index and middle fingers met. Mark moaned a deep throaty sound causing his whole mouth to vibrate with the sound. Maddox's hips thrust involuntarily in response to the sensation that only his cock had felt. "I'm not going to last... mmmhhmm long." Maddox jerked again and pulled his fingers from Mark's mouth and pushed them into Mark. He groaned, knowing that tight heat would soon be hugging every ridge and vein of his shaft. Mark's body arched with pleasure. He had been empty for far too long. "I don't mind," he said, not caring if Maddox only managed to get in two erratic thrusts. He just wanted Maddox to fill him. "Fuck, I can't take it. I'm ready. That's enough." He panted, not allowing his body to fully adjust. He grabbed Maddox's thick cock and spit into his own hand. Mark lubricated his lover and guided the rounded head to his entrance. Their eyes met. This was new for both of them. Mark bit his lip and hissed as he inhaled. He felt Maddox's sex opening him up. He should have let Maddox warm up a little more. He felt a heated coil twist in his stomach as rivulets of heat flared out. He whimpered as Maddox continued to push in. Mark's legs jerked as the mushroomed head grazed his prostate. His mouth fell open and he watched Maddox smile. Maddox knew all too well how wonderful it felt to have that spot assaulted. When Maddox was fully sheathed, his balls were flush with Mark's body. "You alright?" he asked, knowing what this meant for Mark and knowing it could be potentially painful. "No, I need you to move." Mark watched Maddox's face look disappointed as he tried to pull back out. He knew he would be sore in the morning but it would be a welcomed pain. He wrapped his legs around Maddox's thick waist and pulled him back in deeper. He bit his lover's lip playfully, "No, Maddox, I need you to move." Mark dipped his hips and then clenched his thighs to pull himself back over Maddox's cock. Maddox pushed Mark into the bed. His hips picked up an easy rhythm and his lips met Mark's again. His tongue wrestled Mark's and enjoyed the feel of his tongue stud teasing him. Mark knew their passionate moaning could likely be heard outside of their room but he didn't care. Everything was perfect, and he was right where he belonged. Mark's hands twisted in the sheets, as Maddox's hand encircled his sensitive cock. Maddox was right. He didn't last long. It didn't matter, though. Mark knew they would have plenty of time to enjoy each other. He felt Maddox's warm seed filling him and he painted his chest with his own orgasm. Still quaking in their shared bliss, Mark and Maddox held each other. Tomorrow they would go and make their marriage legal in the eyes of the government. Mark smiled. They didn't need a piece of paper to validate their love for one another. He knew that he and Maddox would grow old together and raise Emily together and someday, hopefully a long time in the future, they would even see Noah together in heaven. ~*~*~*~ Thank you so much Tangent Joker for editing this. This chapter would have been a mess without you. It also would have taken me months to get it out if you didn't push me to put time into it and inspire me to write something a little different. You are truly a wonderful person to work with and I am so glad to have found you. I really hope you guys enjoyed reading Mark's story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I know parts of it are rough and inconsistent and I am truly thankful you all stuck with me and hope the ending wasn't disappointing. I do have a spin off for Jin planned but I am currently working on something else before I get back to him. Thank you all for commenting, reading, posting and overall helping me to become a better writer. Thank you AzanianHeat for not letting me be completely discouraged after that first chapter. Thank you Cannd for commenting and helping to point out places where I could improve. I took a lot of your words to heart. I hope all of your questions were answered with this ending.